#in the same time this upset bug is mostly blaming them because their hopes were put into their success of stopping the infection

[fly-sky-high-bug-games]

have one of those "THK lives" AUs and insert a character who is super upset with them because the bugs they cared about died to the infection THK was supposed to stop for good

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

My Tasha

Word count: 7334

Genre: Mostly angst but the ending is fluffy

Pairing: Natasha x fem!reader

Warnings: A sort of suggestive scene? I think that's all (let me know if I need to add any)

Request: congrats on those 500’ love!!! they are well deserved for all of your amazing words 🥺 i was just thinking how cute it be for nat to take a liking to reader, so she tries all those “seductive” tricks the red room taught her, but r just reads it as a cocky fuckboy thing and rejects her? soft!nat appearing later to ask her out? 🥺

Summary: Natasha tries to seduce you at a party but you misunderstand, assuming she's just using you. Both of you mope before realizing what happened.

A/n: Finally I finished this! It was supposed to be 2000 words max but I got carried away and @teenwonder I blame you since you were the one who sent in this idea. I actually really like how this turned out, even if it differs from the prompt slightly so I hope you guys like it too because this probably took at least ten hours to write and I have lost way too much sleep over it. Enjoy!

Natasha looks in the mirror and lifts the corner of her mouth into a slight smile. She looks hot and she knows it, spending hours in front of the mirror perfecting the look. Her eyeshadow screams seduction and her lipstick highlights and colours the natural shape of her lips. Her lashes are curled to perfection and her makeup is applied with the technique she learned years ago that was guaranteed to make people stare. Her hair is straightened because it matches the look and also the last time she straightened it you had complimented her hair so she knows you like it.

Her dress is black, the colour that looks best on her, with a neckline that is dangerously low and the bottom riding dangerously high on her thigh. Her heels are her go to ones for anytime she wants to seduce anyone, they manage to work every time and have become a small symbol of luck for her and tonight she needs all the luck she can get for tonight’s party.

Usually people are easy to seduce, she just has to figure out the likes and dislikes of her target and play up to them. Tonight shouldn’t be much different except for the big added aspect of her actually caring. She’s never had to seduce someone she’s wanted to before so she knows it’s going to be harder than normal. Taking a deep breath she pushes the nerves away and smirks at her own reflection before going to meet everyone in the main room.

Your breath hitches when she walks in and you quickly look away so it doesn’t seem like you’ve been waiting for her arrival. She’s gorgeous, she always is, but tonight there’s something about her that’s different, like she put more effort than usual. You force yourself to stay calm and look away, pretending to still be interested in the conversation you had been having with Carol that you zoned out of the moment Natasha entered the room.

Carol’s looking at you strangely. “What?”

She gives a half laugh. “You think I didn’t notice you drooling over Natasha.”

“That obvious?” you ask and she nods. “Damn.”

“Damn is right, she’s smoking!” Carol whisper-yells, glancing over quickly and then back to you.

“Carol!” you exclaim aghast.

She laughs again. “Don’t worry I’m not trying to steal your girl, after all I have Valkyrie.”

“Yes and you constantly remind me of that.” you mumble which she ignores.

“I’m just saying that some people are already staring at her and are going to be all over her soon, you need to make your move quickly.” she finishes.

“I will.” you tell her, with no real intention of going to talk to her.

“Sure you will,” she says quietly at first before yelling in Natasha’s direction, “Hey Romanoff! Come here.”

Natasha is surprised and she hopes Carol isn’t calling her over because she noticed her staring. Logically she knows that Carol doesn’t want to date you and is dating Valkyrie but it looked far too much like flirting in her opinion. There were whispers and giggles and at one point you got all flustered and embarrassed. She doesn’t like how possessive she feels over you when she has no right to but somehow when it comes to you she can’t quite control herself.

Showing none of the inner thoughts that go through her head she weaves her way over to you. At first some of the team is staring because they got startled by Carol’s yell but a small glare gets them to look away again.

“Hey.” Carol greets when she walks over.

“Hey.” she says back with a smile and it’s not her fault if the smile is a little flirtier than normal and directed more towards where you’re standing. “What’s up?”

“I want to go find Valkyrie and see what’s taking so long for her to come back from the bar but didn’t want to leave Y/n all alone at a party and since you were alone too I thought it would be a great idea for you guys to spend the party together!” she explains quickly. “I’ll come back soon!”

With that she leaves and you and Natasha are left looking at each other awkwardly. She wants to say something to break the silence but all her earlier confidence is gone and she feels like a schoolgirl with her first crush. Which is half true, she is definitely not a schoolgirl but she’s never had feelings like this for anybody before.

“You don’t have to stay here.” you offer, feeling bad that she was forced to come here and babysit you. Carol is your best friend but sometimes you just can’t stand her. This is so uncomfortable and Natasha is looking at you weirdly and you just know that she’ll apologize and leave so she can spend the party with people who actually know how to have fun.

“I know but I want to.” she says and you can’t help looking away shyly and smiling. She smiles herself at your cuteness, now slightly more confident knowing that she can make you react like that.

---

She smirks as for the thousandth time that night you struggle to keep your gaze from dipping below her neck. The dress was a good choice and judging based on your lack of eye contact you appreciate it. She knows you find her attractive, it’s hard not to know that with you staring at her boobs every few seconds but as the night goes on she’s more and more hopefully that you want to date her. Your flushed cheeks and occasional stuttering give you away.

Some guy interrupts your conversation and she resists the urge to punch him. She doesn’t know what he’s here for and shouldn’t punch people for interrupting a conversation with a girl she really really likes (she doesn’t allow herself to consider love just yet).

“Hey beautiful.” he greets her, stepping into her space and ignoring you. Against her better judgment she does punch him and giggles as he staggers backwards muttering about bitches under his breath. Really the punch shouldn’t have affected him that much, it was light and not in an area that would cause serious injury, he was just weak.

“Holy fuck.” you whisper under your breath.

“That didn’t bother you, did it?” she rushes to confirm, not wanting to have upset you by resorting to violence. She wasn’t quite sure how to take your holy fuck, whether you meant it in a good way or not.

“It was so hot.” you breath and then immediately clamp a hand over your mouth once you’ve realized what you’ve said out loud.

You’re about to apologize but she speaks first. “Really?”

You don’t understand how she makes her voice sound so smooth and seductive but it makes your knees weak. You’re nervous but there’s no point in taking it back now and it does seem like she’s flirting with you so you continue.

“Yeah, what can I say I like strong women who don’t take shit from men.” you say, moving closer to her. You haven’t flirted very much before but judging based on how her eyes darken slightly you think it’s working.

She reaches out and runs her hand down the side of your face slowly, making you shiver. “Looks like we have the same type.”

She keeps her hand there for a second then leans in slowly, giving you time to pull away. You’re frustrated by how long it’s taking and try to take a small step towards her so you can kiss her. It doesn’t work well since you forgot you’re wearing heels and lose your balance, making her laugh, her breaths dancing over your lips. And then suddenly she’s not moving slowly anymore and her lips are on yours and it’s all you can think about. Your other senses are all dulled and you kiss her harder to prove that this is real.

After a few seconds she pulls back. “I didn’t want people to see,” she explains when she sees your pout, “hallway?”

You’re not sure if it’s even possible for you to do anything but nod and take her hand as she leads you out. Inside of taking you to the main hall she takes you to a side one that doesn’t get used often and only the avengers have access to. Glancing around again to make sure nobody notices she pulls you inside and immediately you’re kissing again.

She presses you against the wall and you grip her shoulders tightly, your nails dipping into her bare skin. When she pulls back again she notes in satisfaction that your lips are smeared with her lipstick and she applauds her choice of bright red. Inside of going back to your mouth she kisses along your jaw and your neck, the lipstick marking you. Happy with her work she moves back to your lips, humming happily at the feeling.

She likes it even more when she feels your mouth open to let her in, taking the opportunity to explore your mouth with her tongue. You let out a small whine and the noise reminds her of where you are.

“Come up to my room?” she asks, smirking. You’re about to say yes when you notice her smirk. It bugs you for some reason, it makes it seem like she’s winning some sort of prize. Breathing heavily you look more closely at her and notice her heels. It’s her seductive mission heels. And then you realize she often wears a black dress to seduce people as well. You feel like a complete idiot, she doesn’t want you for anything more than a quick fling. This was a calculated move on her part.

“No.” you tell her firmly, only able to hold back your tears due to sheer anger. You thought that you were friends, how dare she try to play with your feelings just because she knew she could. Taking advantage of her shock you push past her, running out of the hall and back into the party. You look like a disaster so as quickly as possibly to rush to the doors and leave, running to your room, thankful that everyone seems too invested in their own conversations to notice you going.

You keep running until you reach your room. It didn’t look like she was following you but you don’t want to take any chances. Flinging off your heels because they’re uncomfortable you launch yourself onto your bed and curl up, pulling the covers over your head and putting your face into a pillow. You’re probably getting her lipstick all over right now but you don’t care, you don’t have enough energy to care right now.

You berate yourself again for how stupid you are. You got so caught up in your own emotions that you didn’t even consider that it didn’t mean the same to her as it did to you. It’s so obvious in hindsight. How after one kiss she wanted to sneak away so nobody saw, her glance back at the room before you entered the hall. She wasn’t looking for a relationship that much was clear. She invited you to her bedroom, not on a date.

You try to reason with yourself to make the pain go away but it doesn’t. You weren’t super close but you considered her a friend. Apparently she didn’t consider you one if she was willing to put your friendship aside for sex. You briefly consider that maybe she didn’t know about your feelings but you shake that thought off. She’s smart and reads people easily, she knew she just didn’t care.

You hate the tears that roll down your face. You can’t tell if they’re from sadness or anger and it doesn’t matter. Nothing seems to matter right now. Sobs wrack your body harder and you scream silently into your pillow. You hate this so much, you hate crying and you wish you could hate Natasha but you can’t. You hate yourself for letting yourself get hurt like this though.

---

Natasha watches you leave. She wants to run after you but the look on your face when you pushed by her stops her. You looked so disgusted that you had just made out with her and she can feel her heart breaking into a million pieces just thinking about it. She doesn't know what she did to get it. It’s obvious that you regretted kissing her but it hurts that you seem disgusted by it.

She allows herself a few moments to stand there and try to comprehend what just went on, a single tear dripping down her face. Swallowing hard she wipes it away and takes a breath to collect herself. She makes sure her dress is straight and runs her fingers through her hair so it doesn’t look too wild.

It doesn’t really matter what she looks like, she’s planning to slip out the back of the hall, the opposite way that you went, so it’s unlikely anyone will see her but she wants to be prepared on the off chance that the halls aren’t empty. Biting her lip to stay calm she walks out the end of the hall and slowly makes her way to her room.

She feels so stupid. She’s not even mad at you for feeling disgusted she’s mad at herself. She got so caught up in her own feeling that she never stopped to think about the fact that you don’t like her back. For a moment it seemed like you did but that was probably you being too nice to say no to her.

Her heels seem to mock her as she walks up the stairs with the way they clip clop. So much for lucky heels, she’ll never be able to use them again without remembering how badly she failed. She tugs on her dress from both the top and the bottom, trying to pull it longer in both directions. She felt so confident in it earlier in the mirror and especially when she caught you staring but now she just feels dirty and slutty.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” she mutters out loud to herself when she finally gets to her room. Looking in her mirror upon entry only makes things worse. She’s lucky that she didn’t see anyone in the halls because even after her attempts at cleaning up she looks like a mess. Her makeup is smudged all over and she can see the upset written plainly on her face.

Usually it’s easy to hide her emotions but usually she doesn’t feel such strong ones. You make her feel and she hates it. Only earlier today she loved that you made her feel. She loved the way her heart fluttered thinking about you and how she wasn’t always perfectly composed. You made her feel normal. But now she hates the way her heart betrays her, happy at even the thought of you.

Her only option right now is to forget and she thanks herself for always keeping a bottle of vodka in her room. A bad habit perhaps, but she rarely drinks from it and it is perfect for this situation. Drinking doesn’t help much, even after a while the hurt is still fresh in her mind, but it stops her from overthinking. When she eventually leaves the bottle and slips into bed it’s nobody’s business but hers if she cries herself to sleep.

---

You bury yourself deeper into your covers when you hear knocks at your door, hoping that whoever it is will go away soon.

“Y/n open up!” you hear Carol shout, still pounding on the door. “Unless Natasha’s with you, don’t think I didn’t notice you left the party earlier.”

Carol’s mention of Natasha makes a lump form in your throat and suddenly you feel the sudden urge to take a shower and wash all of her off you. You must have stayed silent for too long because Carol’s knocking stops and she speaks again.

“If you don’t say anything in five seconds I’m coming in.” she tells you.

You don’t know if you want her here or not. Carol is always good at making you cheer up but you feel embarrassed to tell anybody what happened.

“Four.”

Carol would understand though, she’s never been one to judge people for things and she was the one who helped push you towards Natasha, telling you she liked you back.

“Three.”

You realize that Natasha’s lipstick is still all over you and you’re still wearing the dress from last night. It’s too late to fix the clothes but you try to wipe the lipstick from your neck as quickly as possible (spoiler, it doesn’t go very well).

“Two.”

You’re still not sure if you want her to come in so you open your mouth to try to tell her to go away but the lump in your throat prevents you from speaking.

“One, I’m coming in now.” she says, opening the door. “Is that Natasha’s lipstick?”

It’s too much and you get overwhelmed, bursting into tears. Her grin of triumph from when she saw the lipstick quickly disappears and she rushes over to comfort you, wrapping you in a big hug.

“Do I have to kill her?” she asks, when you’ve calmed down a little bit. If you didn’t know Carol enough to know she’s actually a huge softy you would think she is dead serious.

“No,” you tell her, managing a weak smile at how quickly Carol comes to your defense.

“Are you sure?” she asks. “You have her lipstick all over you and you’re crying because of her. What did she do wrong?”

“It’s not her fault,” you protest. Natasha and Carol are friends and you don’t want them to stop being close because of you.

“It’s not her fault you’re crying?” Carol asks skeptically.

“I-um, she,” you stumble over your words because technically it is her fault you’re crying. “She didn’t mean to.” you finally settle on saying.

Carol doesn’t look any happier with the situation than she did before. “Please tell me what happened Y/n so I can go beat her up for you. Did she try to force herself on you or do anything you didn’t want?”

“No.” you say, shaking your head. Natasha may have only been looking for a one night stand or short fling but you can confidently say that she would never do that.

“Okay, then what did she do to make you so upset? It doesn’t look like she rejected you.” Carol is both stubborn and curious and you sigh knowing you’re not going to be able to get out of this conversation without telling her what happened.

“At first it was really nice, we were talking and then we were kissing. But then-” you pause and take a deep breath as Carol rubs a hand comfortingly on your back. “But then she asked if I wanted to go up to her room.” you pause again, trying not to cry for the second time this morning.

“What did you say?” Carol asks softly, knowing this is hard for you.

“I almost said yes, I was planning to say yes,” you tell her, “but then I looked down at her heels.”

“Her heels?”

“She was wearing the heels she always wears for missions where she has to seduce shady old men.” you explain. “And her dress seemed different than normal, like one she’d wear on a mission and she was smirking at me, like she got exactly what she wanted.”

“She treated you like a mission.” Carol states, a hard look in her eye. “That bitch.”

“Carol,” you warn, “you’re her friend too.”

“And as her friend I’m going to give her some friendly advice.” She emphasizes the word friendly giving the impression that it wasn’t going to be friendly at all.

“It will only make things worse.” you tell her. “I just want to forget about it.”

Carol keeps the hard look but softens a little, smiling at you. “Okay, whatever you want. We could spend the day watching movies and eating ice cream?”

“Okay.” you tell her. You’ve never been heartbroken before but you’ve seen movies and apparently this is what everyone does.

“I’ll go get the ice cream while you pick a movie.” she tells you, standing up. “I’ll even watch a disney one if you’d like.”

You give a halfhearted cheer, trying to convince Carol that you’re excited. She frowns as she leaves the room, that cheer was obviously fake. Any other time and you would be beyond happy that she was agreeing to watch Disney movies with you, you’ve been begging her to for almost a year. She can’t help but feel anger at Natasha and anger at herself. Anger at Natasha for playing with your feelings but anger at herself for pushing you to be with Natasha. She should have realized Natasha wouldn’t treat you right but she was so caught up in trying to pair you together that she didn’t see it.

---

Natasha wakes up as normal, feeling a headache forming already. Glancing towards her alarm clock she sits up in shock when she reads how late it is. She’s never in bed after noon. She groans when she realizes sitting up that quickly was not a good idea and makes her feel nauseous. She takes a few breaths, in and out, to calm herself and tries to remember why she drank so much. She was upset, she remembers that. She was upset because her plan didn’t work.

She feels a sharp pain in her heart when her mental blocks seem to go away and she remembers everything that happened, how the night had been going so perfectly and she had felt so happy only for it to all come crashing down when you ran away, disgusted that you kissed her.

“Stupid.” she tells herself, getting out of bed. She reminds herself of that as she goes about her normal morning routine, washing her face, brushing her teeth and getting dressed. She was so stupid to risk your friendship for something more, now it would be a miracle if you still wanted to be around her. Even if it hurt to pretend you hadn’t kissed she would go back to being friends with you in an instant if you still wanted her. She tries not to think about how big of an if that is.

When she is presentable she decides to head down the kitchen and grab some food. It’s been awhile since she last ate and there’s no use in trying to hide away and avoid her problems; she will either see you and have to confront them or you won’t be there. She knows that hiding away will only make things worse and appear weak, if she leaves her room and pretends everything is normal it will make her seem less hurt than she is.

“Hi Natasha.” Tony says in a weird voice when she enters the kitchen, waggling his eyebrows. She does her best not to show her obvious disappointment that almost everybody is here. The one upside is that you’re not.

“Hi Tony.” she says tiredly, walking over to grab a piece of bread and plopping it in the toaster.

“So Natasha,” he starts, oblivious to her unrelaxed mood, “how was last night?”

Natasha whips around lightning fast, staring at him. “What do you mean?”

He couldn’t possibly have heard, could he? She had hoped to talk to you before word got out about the rejection, to try to keep it on the down-low because the guys would never let her live it down. She assumed you wouldn’t tell anyone but you did leave the hall in the direction of the party so maybe you decided to stay.

“I mean with Y/n.” he says casually as Natasha fights to keep a straight face as her heart beats wildly in her chest. “Don’t think we didn’t notice how you both left early.”

Natasha lets out an almost unnoticeable sigh of relief. He didn’t know anything important.

“Well that may be the case but I can assure you nothing happened.” she tells him.

“Then where is she now?” Tony challenges.

“I don’t know, if you haven’t seen her she’s probably in her room.” Natasha responds smoothly. It’s just her luck that after being rejected by the girl of her dreams Tony thinks they got together.

“And where were you?”

Natasha gives him a deadpan stare. “My own room.”

He scoffs. “First of all you could be lying to us, I know you spies are good at that. But if you aren’t you need to get some balls and ask her out already.”

Natasha scowls. “A man’s balls are the weakest part of his body, I am good without them.”

Tony has enough self preservation to step back for a second. Natasha lets him think that her annoyance is solely over his sexist statement but really it wasn’t that bad and she’s just upset that she can’t have you so she really doesn’t want to be talking about asking you out.

“You should.” Clint speaks up.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Not you too.”

“See Clint agrees with me and I bet the others do too.” Tony says smugly. Natasha lets her eyes move slowly around the room and one but one they all look away when she catches their eye, showing her that while they are too nervous to outright say it, Tony is right and they do agree.

“I don’t care about that,” she says, “I am not and that’s the end of the story.”

“What not?” Tony persists. “You like her, you can’t deny that, so give me one good reason not to.”

“Because she wouldn’t want to and I respect that.” Natasha says calmly. Inside she feels her stomach twisting and she wants to break something. She may be good at hiding her emotions but this conversation is proving to be next to impossible.

Tony scoffs again. “There’s no way, that girl is so in love with you it’s ridiculous.”

“What’s ridiculous is that you assume things about other people and can’t let this go.” Natasha tells him icily. “You don’t know what she’d say.”

“Then you don’t know either.” Tony counters.

“Then why did she say no when I asked her out last night?” Natasha snaps at him. There are gasps all around the room and to her mortification she is barely holding in the tears that spring to her eyes.

“What?” Sam asks in disbelief.

“I asked her out, she said no and that’s that.” Natasha explains, trying to keep her composure but failing when a tear falls down her cheek. “Excuse me.”

She hurries out of the room, no longer able to handle the talk of asking you out and the disbelieving stares. As she gets back to her room and lies in bed once more she notes in annoyance that she never got her toast. Not that she’s hungry anymore anyway. She doesn’t feel anything anymore except sadness and emptiness. She knew her feelings for you were strong but now that she knows for sure that you don’t want her they feel even stronger and it makes her realize just how much this meant to her and how much she lost.

---

“Hey.” Carol greets as she walks in the kitchen and heads straight for the freezer.

“Morning Carol.” Bruce says, looking shocked when he sees the amount of ice cream she’s holding. “Ice cream for breakfast?”

“It’s for Y/n.” Carol explains.

Tony’s expression turns dark. “What on earth does she need it for?”

“Girl problems, also known as none of your business.” Carols says, in an admittedly sassy voice.

Tony glares. “By girl problems do you mean what happened with Romanoff last night.”

He may tease Natasha but she was like family to him and he would not allow your feelings to be coddled while you stomped all over hers. He doesn’t care if you feel bad for rejecting her, you had flirted and let her on for too long and feeling bad was the least you deserve.

In an instant Carol is across the kitchen and inches from his face. “How do you know?”

“Hey, calm down.” Bruce says, stepping in when he notices Clint and Sam have both tensed up, presumably to defend Natasha’s honor. Even though he’s a man himself he doesn’t understand them sometimes, Natasha was more than capable of taking care of herself and starting a fight between Tony and Carol, the two most stubborn on the team, would only be a headache for weeks to come.

“How do you know?” Carol asks Bruce, thankfully stepping back from Tony.

“She was here a few minutes ago and told us.”

Carol curses under her breath. “That bitch.”

“Hey!” Clint says loudly. “If anyone is a bitch here it’s Y/n.”

“Yes because it’s all Y/n’s fault.” Carol says sarcastically.

Sam decides he’s had enough of Carol. “Yes actually, it is.”

“Bullshit.”

The three of them go back and forth with Carol, mainly cursing and getting a little off topic.

It’s when Carol calls Tony an idiot that Bruce speaks up. “You weren’t here to see Natasha cry.”

“What?” Carol turned to face Bruce, shocked. He isn’t one for petty arguments so she believes what comes out of his mouth. But why would Natasha cry? It doesn’t make sense, she was the one who broke your heart, not the other way around. “Natasha never cries.”

“Well she just did.” Tony says but it’s not in a confrontational tone anymore. He’s not sure what Carol knows but it’s obvious she didn’t know fully what happened.

“Why?”

“It was partly my fault,” Tony admits, “I was teasing her about asking out Y/n and she kept saying no and eventually snapped and told us that she did last night but Y/n rejected her.”

Carol scrunches her brow in confusion. “That’s not what Y/n told me- OHHH.”

“What?” The voice comes simultaneously from all four men at once.

“They are both idiots.” Carol says, smiling and laughing for the first time since entering the kitchen. “They are both huge idiots that don’t know shit about feelings.”

“What?” Tony asks again, wanting to know what Carol’s thinking.

“Okay I’ll tell you but don’t interrupt.” Carol warns and looks at all of them to make sure they nod in agreement. Once she is satisfied she starts. “So this morning I found Y/n in tears and covered in Natasha’s lipstick. Apparently they had fun at the party last night and then snuck away to makeout. Y/n was upset because Natasha asked her up to her room instead of on a date and she noticed that Natasha was wearing her mission heels, do you know them?”

“The ones that she uses to seduce old men for Shield?” Sam asks just to make sure.

“Yep.” Carol confirms. “So anyways Y/n is upset because she thinks that she was just some sort of challenge to Natasha so she left her there…”

“...but Natasha was actually serious about her.” Clint finishes.

Tony laughs. “They really are idiots.”

“I am definitely telling this story at their wedding and to their future kids.” Sam says, also laughing.

“Well first they need to actually talk to each other about this.” Bruce points out, lowering the happy mood of the room. “Right now they’re both in their rooms miserable and feelings like the other doesn’t want them.”

“We should get Natasha to talk to Y/n,” Carol suggests, “because I know that Y/n won’t believe us unless Natasha is the one to tell her.”

“Okay I volunteer to talk to Natasha.” Tony suggests.

“No.” Carol tells him.

“Well you’re Y/n’s best friend so she won’t want to talk to you either right now.” he counters.

“Yes but you’re also a horrible option, I think Bruce would be best for this.”

Bruce looks around the room. “Me?”

“That does make sense,” Clint agrees with Carol, “out of all of us you’re the best at calming people down and she’d be most likely to believe you quicker.”

“But-”

“No buts Brucie, don’t you want to see them together?” Tony pleads.

“Yeah come on Brucie,” Sam mocks Tony, “do it for love.”

Bruce sighs as he watches Tony pout and Sam flutter his eyelashes ridiculously. “Fine.”

“Get straight to the point,” Clint advises, “because she will kick you out if you don’t.”

“Okay.”

Bruce leaves the kitchen to head to Natasha’s room. It took ages for him to be convinced to join the avengers and every day he can’t tell if he regrets his choice or loves his choice. Certainly no other job in the world would force him to go talk to his scary assassin coworker so she and his other coworker can get together. He really isn’t paid enough for this.

A knock startles Natasha. She didn’t think anyone would come after her because she assumed they would all be too scared when she’s in a bad mood.

“Who is it?” she calls out.

“Bruce.”

“Bruce,” she sighs, “I’m sorry but I need to be alone right now, I hope you of all people can understand that.”

“No.” he responds, surprising both her and himself with how determined his voice sounds.

“Bruce-” she starts but he interrupts.

“Hear me out first Natasha,” he begs, “please.”

She thinks about it for a moment before giving up and sighing, she’s not in the mood to spend time arguing. “Fine, but you have to stay outside the door.”

“If that’s what you want.” he agrees, pausing a second to figure out how he wants to word things. “I just came back from an interesting conversation with Carol in the kitchen.” he settles on saying.

“Oh?” She tries not to think about what that means. Carol is your best friend and after her scene in the kitchen this morning she doesn’t think there would be any other reason he would bring her up.

“She was getting ice cream for Y/n because apparently she’s upset.” he offers as a means of explanation.

“Oh.” she says again and it’s so quiet she doesn’t think he heard her. “You can tell Carol that I’ll apologize to Y/n tomorrow, I need to gain control of myself first.”

She never thought about how it would be from your end of things. She forced you into more than you wanted and tried to ask you out and she selfishly focused on her own feelings when you probably were upset that she kissed you. Or you thought you would lose her as a friend. She doesn't think she is capable of talking to you without breaking down right now but in a few days she’ll be fine and able to pretend nothing changed.

“That’s not what she was upset about,” Bruce tells her, “Carol says she was upset because she thought it didn’t mean anything to you.”

“What, why?” Natasha can’t help but let her interest be taken. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, what Bruce said could mean a lot of different things.

“I feel like I’m in middle school and there’s broken telephone being played between two crushes.” Bruce jokes.

“Bruce, tell me why.” Natasha demands. Her voice is soft but they both know if Bruce stalls any longer she’ll drop the sweet act.

“Well Carol said she said that it seemed like you were acting as if she was your mission to seduce and not like you actually wanted to be with her.” Bruce says, relaying the information.

“Crap.”

Bruce waits for Natasha to elaborate but she doesn’t say anything. “Are you okay in there?”

“Yes, thank you Bruce,” she says, “I need to go fix this, you can leave now.”

He can’t help but feel relieved as he speeds away down the hall. He is never going to do anything like that again, it was way too awkward. He still doesn’t understand how the others forced him to do this, damn his heart for being persuaded it was a good cause. The one upside is that talking to Natasha did seem to work and with any luck she’d be able to fix her mistakes with you. If she didn’t he did all this for nothing and may very well hulk out.

---

Natasha paces back and forth in her room. If Bruce was right (and she has no reason to believe he would lie) you didn’t run away because you didn’t like her, you ran away because you thought she didn’t like you. She winces when she thinks about it. Looking back she can see why you were mistaken and thought she didn’t have true feelings for you because she did treat you like a mark. She analyzed what hairstyle and dress you would like and wore her good luck heels. Even the way she talked and acted was calculated to be exactly what you’d like.

She’s stupid, so stupid and if she had just asked you out in a normal way instead of trying to seduce you she could be on a brunch date with you right now. It had never occurred to her to try it any other way, she was taught that seducing was the easiest way to get people to like you so why should it be different for a normal date? In hindsight using red room techniques to get a date is a horrible idea and she can’t believe she didn’t see it before. Maybe she hasn’t shaken off the red room ideals as much as she thought she had.

The thought scares her, her entire life upon leaving the red room has been dedicated to being a force for good, the opposite of everything the red room stood for so to realize that they still have their claws in deeper than she thought is terrifying. She takes a deep breath and tries to make it go away, which is mostly successful as the thought is reduced to the back of her mind. She can take her thoughts and analyze them later, which is another thing the red room taught her to do she notes, but right now she has to focus on the thing that’s most important, fixing her mistake.

As she walks through the halls to your room she runs through things she should say in her head but nothing sounds right. Perhaps it’s for the best though, that way you can tell she’s genuine and not performing another script. She pauses as she reaches your door, finding herself almost shaking with nerves. What if you don’t want her anymore or Bruce misunderstood or worst of all you still think she doesn’t care?

She almost turns around and goes back, unfamiliar with this type of fear but she knows that if she does all chances of fixing things and having a relationship with you will be reduced to zero. Taking a deep breath she turns the knob and pushes the door open.

You don’t look right away when you hear the door open, too lazy to care. “What took you so long, you were supposed to be back with the ice cream ages ago.”

“I-”

You spin around quickly. “You’re not Carol.”

“Nor do I have ice cream.” She tries to joke but it falls flat.

“Why are you here?” you ask and she winces. It’s blunt and straight to the point, your tone quiet but practically screaming at her to get out.

Since you got straight to the point she decides to do the same. “To ask you out.”

You must look even more shocked than you feel because she quickly jumps in to explain. “That’s what I was trying to do at the party last night, although I know you assumed that I didn’t mean it. I know you noticed the heels and I know I was smirking and it seemed like I was playing you but it really was genuine, I was just trying to do it the wrong way. I was always taught in the red room that to get people to like you romantically the best way to do that is to seduce them but obviously that is wrong and I didn’t realize until too late.”

There’s a lot of information to take in but your mind gets stuck on one question. “How do you know all that about how I felt?”

“Carol talked to Bruce who talked to me.” she says, looking slightly embarrassed at how elementary that sounds. “So?”

“So what?” You know she wants to know if you’ll go out with her for real and you really want to immediately say yes but you also want to hear her ask you properly.

She seems to understand. “Will you go on a date with me Y/n?”

You hesitate one moment before responding. It’s unnecessarily mean but you just spent a good portion of last night and this morning crying over her and besides, she looks absolutely adorable as she shifts her weight from side to side nervously. She looks exactly how you want her to look, no makeup and wearing sweatpants. It’s natural and genuine and everything you would have loved to see last night.

“Yes.”

“Oh thank god.” she laughs in relief, the pitch of it breathier than normal.

“I like it when you do that.” you tell her.

She furrows her brow, confused. “Do what?”

“When you laugh like that or wear old clothes, like you’re not trying to impress me.” you explain.

“So when I do the opposite of what I did last night?” she asks, laughing at herself for being so stupid. Of course you didn’t fall for all the acts, if you did she wouldn’t like you as much as she does. You make her feel different and that’s a good thing, she shouldn’t have to act around you.

“Yeah, don’t get me wrong last night was hot,” you tell her, “but it’s not you. That’s agent Romanoff putting on whatever mask she needs to be for the night, this here is my Tasha.”

“Your Tasha, huh,” she teases, “possessive much?”

“Sorry.”

“No,” she tells you, “I like it. I don’t need to put a mask on around you because you’re you and I am your Tasha. But you’re also mine.”

“All yours.” you confirm and she visibly shivers. “Apparently I’m not the only possessive one.”

“Apparently.” she says looking at you in a way that makes heat rise to your cheeks.

“Since we wasted time last night maybe we could start with a movie date right now?” you suggest shyly, changing the topic.

“Well we do have time to make up for.” she agrees, sitting down on the bed beside you. “What movie?”

“Mulan.” you tell her pressing the remote to drop the tv down into your room. There were definitely benefits to living with Tony.

“A disney movie?” she asks skeptically.

“Have you seen it?” you ask already knowing the answer before she shakes her head. “Then don’t knock it, it’s a great movie.”

“If you say so.” she says, still slightly skeptical but much more open to it. Even if the movie is garbage she doesn’t think she’d mind watching it with you. She definitely doesn’t mind it when your head drops onto your shoulder and you fall asleep, tired from the emotional rollercoaster you just went on. And when the movie ends she doesn’t move, happy to have you there, even when hours later her shoulder is all tense and cramped. It scares her how much she feels for you already but it also feels freeing, she knows she is not just the product of the red room because their biggest rule is to not fall in love and she’s definitely going to break that soon, if she hasn’t already.

---

Taglist: @fayhar@xxxtwilightaxelxxx@acertainredhead@madamevirgo@megaqueenmaeve@cherryblossomskye@aaron-despair@chickenhavewisdom@emril-osvigne@nyankitty987@agathaharkness-simp@midnight-lestrange@usernames-are-difficult (couldn't tag)@thewidowsghost@nyx-aira@stephanieromanoff@Satxnsupreme@likefirenrain@wlwlovesreading@natashadeservedbetter@stop-drop-and-drumroll@peggycarter-steverogers@casperlikej@redswing@mochamoff@king-star@blackbat2020

[kirishimaswife2819]

Them Playing Minecraft Survival With Their S/o || Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Todoroki, and Kaminari

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Reader, and Denki Kaminari x Reader

Summary: What it’s like playing Minecraft survival with the boys

Word Count: 1.4k

A/n: So, I do this weird thing where I’m obsessed with Minecraft for like a week, and don’t stop playing it, then I forget it exists for like anywhere from 1-3 months, then remember it exists and the cycle just goes on like that. And I remembered Minecraft existed earlier today, and I decided to write this. Anyway, I’ll try to get some requests uploaded tomorrow, but I’ll have to see if I’m in the mood to write them or not. Anyway, I hope you all have a great day/night! -Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

He’s very peaceful when he’s playing Minecraft

He’s not in any rush to get to the end and spends a fair amount of time working on building farms for various animals and food

When you guys play together, you do pretty much everything together and don’t leave each other’s sides for the whole game

You guys also share all your resources, and split the stuff up evenly between the two of you

When y’all go caving, you each might split up for a few minutes to go into different parts of the cave and find different things, but he’d rather not stay apart for too much longer

He’s literally so calm and doesn’t generally get too mad when he dies

It’s literally impossible for him to not tame any pet he finds, you probably have a countless amount of dogs, cats, and birds, yet every time he sees an untamed one, he’ll be like, “Hey, Y/n. Do you have any bones/fish/seeds?”

“Izuku, you have like fifty at home. No.”

If you refuse to give him some then he goes out and finds it on his own and comes back for the animal, so there’s no escaping it

He’s not really focused on beating the Ender Dragon, he only really remembers that’s what he supposed to be doing when he gets bored

It probably takes y’all like nine months til you finally get around to beating the Ender Dragon, and you play for like four hours every two days or so, since you have school work to focus on as well

Katsuki Bakugou:

Warning, he blows your shit up when he gets bored, so make sure he doesn’t get bored while your playing together

He’ll share a house with you and the same storage area, but what he finds is his and what you find is yours, unless you both agree to share it

He focuses on actually beating the game, for the most part, but occasionally he likes fucking around and doing random stuff

Katsuki sucks at building, since he’s more focused on the actual game than making anything look nice (he also can’t build to save his life, but if you asked why he’s so bad at it, he would use the excuse that I just mentioned)

Doesn’t waste his time on taming animals, except for wolves

He gets two wolves, breeds them, and then makes an entire army

If you piss him off bad enough, he will not hesitate to make them all stand, before hitting you, so that they all attack you

He doesn’t play too often, since “school work is more important”, but you probably play, at the minimum, once a week, but most of the time you play twice a week

You would probably end up beating the game, after a few months, but it honestly depends on how often Katsuki decides to blow up your stuff, or just blow up stuff in general

Eijiro Kirishima:

He likes to try and build and make your world look nice, but he really sucks at it, but don’t tell him that or he might get upset. You called something he built ‘weird’ once and he took it personally, and didn’t want to play the game anymore

He’s always sort of got the goal of beating the Ender Dragon in the back of his mind, but he mostly just focuses on building and having a good time

He only has about one, at most two, of each pet, but he gets emotionally attached to them and if one of them dies, he will probably cry, and he also insists on hosting a whole funeral and building a grave for it (honestly, I would do that too, so I can’t blame him)

He also will give you all of his resources, without you asking, and you’ll be like, “Kiri, why don’t you have any armor” and he’s like, “Oh, I gave you all my iron. It’s fine though! Don’t give it back, I can live without armor!”

Then y’all get an aggressive war of passing back the iron between the two of you, until you get sick of it and just take the iron (but you sneak on his phone/computer after he goes to do something and you make him armor and put it on him)

This man protects you with his life, like you’ll be fighting like one skeleton and he’ll be all dramatic and try to protect you

It’ll probably take like a year or longer to beat the game when you’re playing with Kirishima, because he likes to, not necessarily mess around, but he likes to waste time on building useless stuff and playing with your animals and all of that

You two play almost every day for at least an hour, unless you have the day off, then you play longer

He really enjoys playing with you while your cuddling, and it’s one of his favorite things to do

Shoto Todoroki:

He had never played Minecraft but then he saw Kaminari playing it and asked him what he was doing, and then after Kaminari explained the game to him, he went to you and asked you if you’ve played it before and if it was fun

He has no idea what he’s doing, so he follows you around the whole time, as you try to teach him how to play the game

You’re going to have to teach him literally how to do everything, even if it’s simple, he lacks common sense when it comes to these kinds of games

He is the most gullible person too, like if you tell him a certain something about the game, that very obviously isn’t true, he will believe you

Once he gets a hang of the game, he still chooses to follow you around, and if he doesn’t he’ll ask you what you want him to do while you’re off doing something

He doesn’t tame any animals, because he doesn’t really see the point in it

You always have to tell him what he should do, if you don’t then he’ll sit there and just wait for you to tell him to do something

Shoto actually has a lot of fun playing the game, since he’s never played any video games before and as much as he just sits around doing nothing except staring at your screen and waiting for you to tell him what to do, he still manages to have a good time

How long it takes you to beat the game, is solely based on on your pace and your pace alone, since Shoto will just go along with whatever your doing

You two don’t play often, just whenever you two get bored and want to play something together

Denki Kaminari:

Depending on the day, he’s either really focused on actually playing the game, or he’s fucking around the whole entire time

Most of the time it’s the latter though

This man made an entire army of chickens and a very poorly built castle for them as well

He doesn’t tame too many animals, maybe a few of each, but that’s about it

He’s not a big fan of building, unless it’s to do something stupid with the building (e.g. the castle for the chickens)

Freaks out at the sight of any monsters, even though he has no problem killing them

Denki has a tendency to rage when he dies, but it’s never too bad

You guys share all of your resources, and if you try to not share with him, he will bug you until you do (he’s totally willing to share his with you too, though)

He thinks its funny to hide the item you’re looking for in a chest (if it’s like string or something that’s common and easy to get), so you’ll go out and get some, only to come back and find the item you were looking for in the same chest you were looking in before

Plays Minecraft at least two hours a day, but most of the time longer than that

Sometimes he even tries to sneak and play it during class, but the teacher always catches him within like two minutes because he talks to himself when he plays

If I’m being completely honest with you, you and Denki probably never make it to the end of the game because you’re too busy messing around, but both of you are perfectly fine with that

[morizoras-cave]

Pass Out (Request)

Jake Gyllenhaal x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Tom Holland x gn!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: can I request a Tom Holland and Jake Gyllenhaal x teen!reader where she gets sick during the press tour and ends up passing out in front of fans? love your writing btw!!

Warnings: none, really? sick reader, slight insecurity, language

(A/N): yeah im in berlin (we’re being very safe and wearing masks all the time :D) and thats why i havent updated much. im trying to update a bit, im writing this at 7:43 to make it before breakfast hsghssgs anyway hope y’all enjoy

“Y/n, you don’t look too good? Caught a stomach bug?” 

You sighed at Jake’s question. You did quite literally feel like shit that morning, all three of you padding out of the hotel to enter the car. It was going to be another day of press, and while those days could be a bunch of fun, this time the thought just worsened your pounding headache, nausea, weakness, and general shit-feeling.

“I don’t know what it is, I just feel real bad,” you grumbled irritably. Tom and Jake exchanged glances over your head. 

“Think you should stay home today? Me and Jake can take a yelling from Marvel, it’s totally fine. They hate me anyway.” 

“Yeah, I was gonna say, there’s really no way Tom can worsen his image to Marvel. He can take the blame. I mean, he’s already hit rock bottom.” 

You snorted at their banter, and without looking, knew Tom had that undoubtedly offended face. Though, you still shook your head sadly. 

“It’s not that bad. It’ll be fine.” 

There wasn’t much arguing then. The boys never knew you to be a liar about such things, and trusted your judgement completely. And, to be fair, you didn’t lie about how you were feeling. You just thought it was less bad than it was, which is why, when you entered the car, sitting between the two man-children, you got very nervous when it suddenly worsened drastically. 

You were sickly-looking, and both your head and stomach hurt. Your legs felt like jello (which is a very weird sensation, by the way, causing you to wriggle your legs to give them life again), and an overwhelming feeling of nausea hit you. Overall though, you felt weak.

Jake and Tom were still watching you worriedly. Your worsened state was easily spotted by them. 

“We’re here,” the driver announced. Out the window, you could see the sandy building that you were filming press in that day, and a pretty sizeable group of fans (mostly beautiful young gals) who were looking to meet their idols. 

“This is a bigger group than usual,” Tom mumbled, and the comment made you involuntarily groan. You loved fans, but today everything sucked. 

Soon enough, you three exited the black car, and The Jello Effect was in full effect, as you wobbled to the front door. 

“Oh my God, hi! We’re super big fans!” A nice-looking lady smiled brightly when she spotted you all. Her voice was pleasant, you thought. 

“Oh wow, I can’t believe we’re actually meeting them. I didn’t think they’d show up here today. Guess you were right,” came the mumblings from between them.

“We can sign a few things, if you want? We still have a bit of time before our schedule,” Tom offered kindly, because he was such a celebrity that really loved the fans, possibly more than both you and Jake (not that you two didn’t, Tom just had so much love to give out). 

All the fans (girls and boys and nonbinary alike) gathered to have their shirts, comics, papers, and anything else that they wanted signed. 

You felt horrific, but didn’t object, signing and smiling the best you could, but overall staying quiet. You even joined in on the pictures. 

“C-Can I, um, also have a-a picture?” a shy boy asked stepping forward. Both Tom and Jake smiled and said “yeah” and “of course”, but in that moment the world suddenly got very blurry for you.

Everything was very overwhelming, the noise, the questions, the requests, and the responsibilities, and all of a sudden your legs were gone, and the ground was very close to you. And then it was black. 

Jake and Tom were standing in front of the boy, when a thump came from behind them (your jello body falling down, in case you were wondering). They looked, and surely enough, there you were, on the ground. 

They both immediately jumped down to you, crouching beside your collapsed body. 

“Holy shit, are they okay?” one of the fans asked, as a worried murmur spread throughout the crowd of people. 

“Uh, I don’t really know-” Jake said nervously. “Damn it, Y/n,” he cursed you, because, of course, you would underestimate the seriousness of your sickness. 

Thinking quick, Tom grabbed the rather shy boys phone, angled it so the boy was behind him, and then tapped Jake’s shoulder. They both, comically, duck faced simultaneously, and Tom snapped a picture. 

“Here,” he gave the kid back his phone, whilst Jake grabbed and lifted you. 

“We gotta get them to a hospital. I don’t want to risk anything,” Jake whispered, not wanting to further upset the fans that stood beside them, with wide eyes and filming phones. Tom nodded. 

“Alright, it’s been good, but, uh.. Well, we’ve got things to fix here,” Tom waved goodbye, and then followed Jake, who was sprinting to the parking lot with you in his arms. 

“W-What?” you mumbled and blinked awake. You felt drowsy and sick and simply quite terrible, and it was hard to understand, but you realized you were in someones arms. 

“Holy shit, Y/n, you scared the crap out of me!” Jake exclaimed breathlessly, as you awoke from your nonconsensual nap. You looked around in confusion, at Jake’s face (you had a great view of his nose and chin), the parking lot, and then a moment where you wondered what the hell was happening. 

“Did I- What happened?” your mumble was weak.

“You passed out! We’re bringing you to a hospital!” Tom came from behind Jake. This made you stir. 

“Uh, no. No, you’re not!” you (with much grunting and effort - and probably Jake simply letting you go out of respect) jumped out of Jake’s grasp and onto the parking lot. You stumbled, overestimating the solidness of your legs, and almost falling down again, but this time Tom was prepared. He grabbed your arm and pulled you to stand up. From his eyes came a warning look.

“Y/n. You’re sick. We’re going to a hospital. Just to make sure.” 

You knew he was right, but still you couldn’t help but feel like a bother. The boys both saw your stubbornness fade slightly. 

“Alright, I’ll go to the hospital. But you guys go and do press. I can’t have you getting in trouble with Marvel..” you mumbled somewhat angrily. 

Jake and Tom looked at each other for a moment, and then shook their heads. They begun moving at the same time, each taking one of your arms and just starting to walk. You looked back and forth between them accusingly. 

“I called an Uber. It’ll be here five.”

“Sounds good, sounds good.” 

“Excuse me? I said, I’ll go alone!” 

Tom stopped, turning to you. Surprisingly, he smiled playfully.

“Look, N/n. We’re going wether you like it or not, because me and Jake, we care about you too. So stop being so selfish, and let’s go get you checked out, because we can’t have you feeling sick and passing out on us. Alright?” 

His voice was surprisingly light and his smile was upheld, but you could tell he was still a bit concerned. The feeling of someone caring about you. It warmed your heart a bit. 

Jake ruffled your hair from behind, and you all started walking again. You smiled stupidly, and, though still present, your nausea was much smaller now. Jake eyed you from the side, watching your smile. He shook his head.

“Dummy.” 

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun @deephideoutmilkshake @rae-is-typing @sophs-library @herecomesthewriterwitch @alicedanganh @eviemarvel @idk123906​ @xiumin-girl99​ @frostedgiant 

[youngster-monster]

An act of love and mercy

In the wake of Sasha’s death, Sam finds himself at a loss for what to do. Grief, he finds, makes him restless. Or rather the avoidance of grief. For himself to be busy enough not to be sad, he needs something to be busy with. And there’s not much that a newly ghostless Guardian can do around here. He doesn’t have that many marketable skills, after all. Especially since he still hasn’t gotten used to his new lack of depth perception, which skews his aim something fierce.

He ends up calling in every favor owed to him by fellow Hunters until one of them can present him with a bounty fit for his new limited abilities. He has no qualms about leveraging the death of his ghost to get it for himself.

She meant for it to be a relaxing, low-stakes job in-between bigger expeditions. That means it’s a little too dangerous for a guy with only one working eye. Fortunately Sam is used to fighting without Light by virtue of spending most of his active duty career in the farthest, darkest corner of the system. He’s never run a mission with no light or backup before, but he makes up for the difference with a little bit of a death wish.

The mission is simple at least. A Fallen ketch crashed near the Cosmodrome for unknown reasons, and he’s supposed to go investigate and get rid of any hostiles.

Easy enough.

He must have jinxed it though, because the first thing he finds when he shimmies in through an exhaust vent and into the ship proper is a Fallen corpse, half-buried in the disgusting organic growth tell-tale of the Hive.

And where there’s Hive, there’s usually troubles.

You should call for back-up, the ghost (hah) of Sasha’s voice whispers in his mind.

He’s heard these exact words in her voice thousands of times before, and has never listened to them. Why would he start now?

-

The advantage of a bow is that it’s quiet enough that even when you’re trying to remain undetected you can afford to miss. Since his shots tend to only hit their mark one time out of five nowadays, Sam is thankful for that much.

In the close quarters of the ketch he ends up using his arrows as melee weapons more than projectiles anyway.

He’s only found a handful of thralls so far, which he dispatched quietly, although he can hear the distant roar of a more substantial force deeper in the bowels of the ship. They’re far outnumbered by the bodies. Everywhere he looks he finds the chitinous plates of Fallen, what little isn’t buried under Hive growth covered in their blood. Few of them wear armor, he notices.

He’s starting to get the disquieting feeling that this might have been a civilian ship.

But what would it do near Earth of all places? He has yet to find a House banner; impossible to tell if they were fleeing something or lost the trail of their fleet.

He checks every room, hoping to find an answer. Records of their last communications, perhaps, or of their trajectory. If Hive is infesting Fallen ships — if Fallen are bringing their civilians near the City — then surely the Vanguard needs to know.

What he finds instead is a nursery.

The place is… A nightmare. There was an attempt to retreat here, he assumes from the numerous bodies piled in the same place, some so small he feels bile rise to his throat. He has no love for the Fallen, certainly not now. But children are children no matter how many eyes they possess. Any man with a heart would be upset by such a sight.

His fingers twitch around his bow as a high-pitched chitter breaks the deathly hush of the room. Nothing moves. He’d think he has imagined it if his senses weren’t so well attuned to danger; he’d think it came from some distant threat, echoing through the walls, if it wasn’t followed by the slightest shift in the shadows as four small lights blink in unison.

Staying low to the ground, feet light against the metal flooring, Sam sneaks towards the source of the faint glow. Again that chattering noise. Like cicadas in the summer, only… diminutive, somehow. One single cicada.

Or, it turns out, one single Fallen, buried beneath its dead brethrens.

Sam freezes at the unexpected sight. It’s… Small. The size of a large cat, maybe, though it’s hard to tell when it’s curled on itself like a pillbug.

A hatchling. It stares up at him, then opens its mouth filled with rows of needle-sharp teeth, and lets out the same clicking sound. He gives the surroundings a brief once-over, expecting more to come crawling out, but nothing echoes its call. It’s all alone, saved from the slaughter of its kin by a miracle or the body of its caregiver collapsed over its small body. Easily overlooked if not for the sound it persists in making.

The first thought that comes to his head is, it must be hungry. It’s only logical. Children cry when they’re hungry; why wouldn’t a Fallen hatchling do the same. Quickly following in its steps comes the much more disquieting, it doesn’t know it’s going to die.

The idea chills him. He’s not sure why it bothers him so much — he’s certainly killed his fair share of Fallen — only that it does.

Probably because it’s so small. Vulnerable, with a soft, translucent shell that’s nothing like the hard exoskeleton of the older specimens and about as likely to protect it as a paper umbrella. It doesn’t look old enough to walk. Not that he knows at what age the Fallen learn to move about on their own. But it looks reasonably toddler-like that he’s willing to make a few assumptions.

(Not that he knows what age a toddler starts actually walking, either.)

He lifts a hand to his quiver and finds it shaking. It can’t leave the ship on its own; even if it managed that feat, how would it feed itself? What does a Fallen even eat, at that age? It would be merciful to put an end to its life before it can starve to death, or be found by the Hive. Really, he’s being pragmatic.

The shaking doesn’t abate.

(Sam Fletcher sneaks out of the ship with the hatchling bundled up in the torn fabric of one of its dead brethrens, held tightly against his chest with one hand even as it makes climbing out the way he came more bothersome. Let someone else clean the place; a true Guardian, maybe.

He’s always had too much of a soft heart.)

-

Sam hesitates on his way to the City, and ends up making a detour through the European Dead Zone. His jumpship needs fuel, is his excuse; but the truth is that he’s not sure he could enter the City with a Fallen hatchling and leave it with both of them alive.

He’s already gotten a little attached, although he’ll blame that on the sunk cost fallacy born from the effort it took to get the bug out of the ship undetected. He feeds it bits of jerky while he lands his ship near Devrim Kay’s church. He doesn’t know the man overseeing the region personally, but he has it on good authority that he’s… nice. Nice people don’t shoot babies on sight.

And indeed Devrim does not shoot either of them on sight, although he does stare for a very long time before politely asking, “And what… Do you have here?”

Sam shrugs. The hatchling, clinging to the fur ruff of his cloak, shifts with the movement. He summarizes in a few words the events that led to him finding a baby Fallen and keeping it; Devrim is nice enough to keep any comment he might have to himself. And when Sam says that he has no idea what to do with it, he says,

“The Awoken of the Reef have opened their ports to Guardians. Maybe you could find one willing to ferry the little one along to one of the… less hostile houses.”

It’s a decent idea. Perhaps even a good one. Sam considers it for a little while. Of course that would require finding a Guardian who can be trusted with the life of a newborn, but that can be arranged. He knows people. Mostly Hunters, so no one he would trust with the life of a human child, let alone an alien one, but he’ll manage.

“Why did they open their borders?” He asks, because it’s been a while since he’s been aware of any Guardian business.

Devrim scratches his beard. “There’s been talks of a Fallen uprising,” he says wryly.

Ah.

That does complicate things a bit.

-

While trying to find a way to get the hatchling back to its people, Sam tries to find it a nickname. It’s a little awkward calling it ‘the hatchling’ all the time, is all. He’s not getting attached.

(Devrim stares evenly at him and wisely doesn’t say anything to that.)

But getting rid of it seems less likely by the day as the Wolves rebel against their Awoken sovereign. What Fallen would agree to meet with a human peacefully, let alone take in a child that does not belong to them? Perhaps one of those living on the Shattered Coast, but the place is a den of smugglers and Sam knows what happens to small, vulnerable individuals there.

(He’s dealt with the Spider once. Never again.)

It chitters quietly in his ears from its perch in his fur collar.

“Sounds a bit like a cicada, doesn’t it?” He says idly. He’s perched next to Devrim, helping keep an eye on the surrounding area even though he’s mostly looking at the baby Fallen.

The other man offers no commentary beyond the slightly amused tone of his wordless hum. Sam reaches back and plucks the Fallen from his shoulder, holding it in front of his face and examining it closely.

“Yeah. Cicada,” he says resolutely. “That fits.”

-

By the time the situation in the Reef has calmed down somewhat, Cicada has gotten downright clingy, and the House of Wolves — the only House friendly enough to meet with — has all but disappeared.

Sam stares at his small charge and thinks that this might be a more long-term commitment than he previously assumed.

He’s been running around helping Devrim, but that’s becoming more difficult as Cicada grows and becomes impossible to hide in his cloak anymore. He’s alright with bringing his own mortal ass to a gunfight; a child, not so much.

“There’s a farm not far from here,” Devrim says, “They could probably find you something to do in exchange for room and board.”

“Oh, I’m sure. The Fallen stowaway might be a dealbreaker though.”

“I’ll send them a word. Suraya isn’t the biggest fan of Guardians, but for a kid I’m sure she can make an exception.”

Sam doesn’t ask how Devrim came to know someone who’d like a Fallen better than a Guardian. He’s just glad for the offer. He can live rough and risk his life all he wants, but the kid hasn’t asked to be brought along. He can’t do that to it.

-

Sometimes, kinderguardians will stumble to the Farm, lost and confused despite the guidance of their Ghost.

Against Hawthorne’s complaints — those are mostly for show anyway — Sam insists on feeding them before sending them on their way to the City. Most of them have never gotten a real meal in their life before ending up here, and he’s already cooking for two anyway. Why not more?

And if they don’t look too weirdly at the small Fallen clinging to his shoulders or trailing after him, running on all six limbs to keep up with his stride, he might even give them a few pointers. They’re hopeless, all of them, and he might no longer be the sharpshooter he used to be, but he’s still a veteran. If it keeps them from getting themselves killed stupidly, he’ll take it.

Sometimes they come back. For more help, or just to say thank you. He appreciates it, even if it’s weird as hell to have people thank him for so little.

One of them comes back with ether as a gift. He stares at the little canisters, dumbstruck. He figured Cicada would need some of the substance, since Fallen seem to depend on it, and getting his hands on it has been a hell and a half. They guard it ferociously and there’s only so much a single, mortal Guardian can do.

“I thought I would help,” the Guardian explains. “Like you helped me, even when I had nothing to offer in return. So when I found these on my last mission, I thought…”

“It’s appreciated.” Then, because it feels rude to only say thanks, “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

-

They keep coming after that — Sam has gotten pretty good at cooking, and he guesses most Guardians don’t learn to do it for themselves. He certainly didn’t.

And because they seem to think there’s an ether fee to pay for the privilege of homemade food, he ends up with quite the stock. He’s not sure how much a growing Fallen needs, so he just… gives Cicada as much as she demands. Which ends up to be a lot.

At least she’ll grow healthy. He hopes.

-

The first time Cicada speaks — the word food warbled through her many teeth and alien mouth — Sam nearly has a heart attack.

The second time, he grabs the nearest Guardian and asks if they could find him an Eliksni language dictionary.

It doesn’t seem right to keep her from her own language. And if he has to learn how to make the weird sound with his own very human mouth, well. He’ll try. Even if it’s really cute when she tries to beg scraps from him with her odd, scratchy voice approximating human syllables.

-

One day — years later, when Sam has gotten a little more grey in his hair and a lot steadier in his one-eyed aim — Cicada, now much bigger, will point at one of the picture hanging over his bed and ask,

“Who’s this?”

And he will look at the picture of him and his Ghost and feel only the soft, blunt ache of an old scarred wound. It’ll be a small surprise to find himself, if not healed, at least over the hurt. And he’ll pick up his kid, even though she’s much too big for him to do that easily nowadays, and say,

“That’s Sasha. She was my family, before I found you...”

[drug2nugget]

Hey tumbler. I need help to understand what had happened to me. And why I am only getting upset and anxious about it now. So I had this friend we were super close right. Known each other for over 10 years. Her father left her before she was even born but her mother did and odes her best for her. She had developed depression and after quitting school (at 15) she had barley left the house causing her to develop a large anxiety disorder. Of course I feel for her and loved her very much I just felt I let things go far to easily cause she was my only friend. But she honesty didn’t care about others hence why at the age of 16 I was also her only friend. We saw each other at least once a week. At the age of 13 I had gotten a job where I work 9-14 hours a week (I still work there today) and was also doing full time homeschooling plus the multiple hobbies I had to keep myself busy.

So here is where my problem starts 2019-2020 we wear both 15 little did we know COVID was right around the corner she had met this guy. Everyone in my town knows this guy. He used to look after me when I was far younger about 5. He is a pedo. Everyone knew that the guy has had a real hard up bring but doesn’t excuse what he did to her. My friend had asked me to stay at her place on a Saturday night for some mine craft but I work every Saturday night so I turned her down and said we could hang on Sunday. She blamed me for what happened to her on Saturday night. The guy was her neighbour. He had took her to the lake in his car. He took away her innocent. Because I couldn’t or didn’t hangout with her on that night. I blamed myself and I still kinda do. It’s a “what if” kinda blame. “What if I told her he was a pedo” “what if I had hangout with her that night”.

Second big problem and this one I’m real lost about. It was about a mouth from COVID I was staying at her place. We played the sims and talked. Ya know normal friend stuff. That night like usual I went to sleep first. On the floor with mattress and a body pillow folded in half slowly falling asleep. I take a while to go to sleep about an 1 hour to 3 hence why o go to sleep early. I believed at that very moment of Time she was asleep cause she was breathing heavily thought nothing of it. I froze when I heard the other noise. I was wide awake shocked at what was happening “is she?!?” “No she can’t be right?” I never felt so disgusting my skin felt oily running with bugs. The room felt darker. I just didn’t know what to do. Less to say I didn’t sleep that night. In the morning I confronted her about the noise to ask her if she was really pleasuring herself while I was in the room supposedly sleeping. I wanted her to deny it so bad just to laugh it off and let it go. She had confessed to pleasuring her self while I “slept”. I stayed there for about 2 more hours before leaving for home early. I tried to tell my parents in private but I had to tell them what happened in front of an family friend. The gross oily feeling always came back when I entered that house. 

Good old number three. This one pretty much ended our friendship plus something I did which I am not proud of.... Another sleepover 16 now. Some backstory for this one. My parents had left for two nights and I had to wake up about 8 in the morning to leave my friends place to go feed the dogs. Backstory over. After saying my good nights I went to sleep fairy quickly for once which I had seen as good luck. Morning came i quietly got dressed and put shoes on ready to go to home. I stood up and sat the fuck right back down. Me and my friend didn’t do this usually “oh yeah we’ve seen each other naked multiple time” not us. So I hope you can believe my shock when I was a whole naked body as I was trying to leave the room. I knew she slept naked but I didn’t know she slept naked while I was there. Two thoughts popped into my bed they were “ I need to get out of here ASAP” and “omg she is gonna so embarrassed and upset when she finds the sheets of her naked body” so I tried to save her the embarrassment and I tried to cover her up with the blanket. She woke up lmao. She was embarrassed and upset. I kinda just looked at her and said bye. Let’s just say we hanged out one more time and that was it the BFF duo was over.

I guess I’ll add one more. I call this one the blocker blocking. After not speaking for a mouth or 2 naturally we slowly grew apart. We were still friends well at least I thought we were. Now comes to the thing I did. Earlier that year I had done a course I met multiple people and one we will call mr h. Mr h was friends with my friend and my friend was friends with mr h’s ex. I had hanged out with him once. Finding out after going to his p,ace that a guy that my friend had fucked and is on bad terms with lives with him. Wasn’t comfortable but even after finding that out I did went back a second time. Mostly because there was a 13 year old girl there. Btw she is a bit of a lost cause now but still a nice girl.

My friend had blocked me on every even PlayStation and spofiy (removing me but Same thing). I again called her out online and got a sad sorry on messenger. I felt uncomfortable because she was staking me.

Am I unjustified for being angry and upset? What can I do to stop thinking about her. I miss that bitch but she makes me feel gross. I want my friend back not the friend who makes me feel gross. Idk why.

[that-salty-bitch]

So time I live up to my name and create some salt!

I had a Miraculous AU idea, heavy in Adrien salt.

WARNING! EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND ABUSE. No physical abuse, but still, you have been warned.

In so many salt stories, Lila getting the class to bully Marinette makes Marinette stronger, she begins to stand up for herself. She learns to say no when Adrien becomes obsessed with her.

Not in this.

When Lila gets the class to turn against Marinette, she shuts down. She becomes more quiet, resigned. She doesn’t reach out to anyone, and she has no support system. Tikki trys to help, but can’t do much. She becomes Guardian, and there are more weights on her than ever. Eventually she and Chat Noir defeat Hawkmoth. Adrien is shocked, and Marinette comforts him. They reveal themselves to each other, and start dating. Marionettes crush has subsided, but Adrien is adamant, and she can always fall back in love, right?

Wrong.

She never really likes him in the same way, but he guilt's her so much that she feels like she can’t leave, that it would be selfish. All the kwami see what’s happening, but they can’t convince her. Eventually they move to Gotham. It could be that Marinette needs to create balance there, or that Adrien wants to be a hero again. Either way, they move to Gotham and become vigilantes. Marinette and the kwami don’t really want to infringe on Batman’s turf, but Adrien wants to, and there can’t be a black cat without a ladybug, so she has to come along too.

Eventually, they come across the Gotham Sirens. Marinette, who knows they’re (mostly) reformed, waves, and goes over to say hi. She goes to swing her yo-yo over, but Adrien grabs her arm to stop her. The Sirens have heard about two new vigilantes that the bats have had trouble with, and were having a girls night/ scouting mission. So, they saw someone in read wave, get ready to come over, and was that a yo-yo?, and someone in black stop them.

Adrien: “What are you doing? They’re villains!”

Marinette: “They’re antiheroes now, they help the bats for the most part.”

Adrien: ”So if my father decided to just help us one day, we just forgive him? You know how I feel about that Bugaboo, are you trying to make me mad?”

Marinette will instantly start on the apologies, and by the time the Sirens are over, they’ve left. Harley didn’t hear what they were saying, but she sure knows what she saw. She saw someone doing absolutely nothing wrong, and then try to placate someone else, taking the blame for nothing at all. She sees the signs of an abusive relationship. And she sees red.

When Adrien and Marinette get home, he takes her earrings. This is something common, when she does something ‘wrong’ he will take Tikki. Time and time again she has been told that she didn’t deserve having Tikki to talk to when she ‘misbehaved.’ And she believes him every time. She truly believes that she deserves being alone for doing something (or most of the time nothing) wrong. She decides to go out to get ingredients to make an apology dinner for Adrien, and either runs into one of the Wanyes, or into Harley, who’s been looking for the two she saw earlier. You can decide who she runs into.

If it’s Harley, she will try to avoid her, remembering that she got in trouble for trying to talk to her earlier. Harley will take an interest though, and while Marinette is trying to get away, and will accidentally let slip that she’ll get punished for talking to her. Harley is concerned, but will ‘leave her alone,’ as not to get her in trouble. In reality, she is totally following her, and telling everyone (Sirens, Batfam) about a potential abuse victim.

If it’s a Batfam member that she runs into, (Not just the boys because I need more interactions w/ Steph Cass & Barbra) she could start up a conversation while shopping, (crushes are up to you, one sided or otherwise) and she accidentally lets slip that this was an apology dinner. When asked what for, she vaguely answers about talking to the wrong people. They get concerned and alert the rest of the gang, including the Sirens because they help victims of abuse.

Either way, everyone decides to look out for her, someone befriending her, (probably one of the girls because Adrien has convinced her that spending more time w/ boys is cheating on him) and they will subtly interrogate her. They figure out that he ‘depends’ on her to help him, and that something went on in Paris that made them closer.

This leads to the Justice League finding out about the Paris Situation, and Wonderwoman and Aquaman getting very upset at Green Lantern or whoever ignored them. (I stan Aquaman knowing about the Miraculous due to Plagg sinking Atlantis.)

After Marinette gets off the bench, she is extra careful to not set Adrien off, as she is best at getting the Bats off their backs about vigilantism. The Bats offer to train them, knowing they might not be able to stop them, and Marinette is all for it. There’s just one problem.

Adrien doesn’t want to do it.

Batman and bird of choice will notice Marinette’s immediate change from being enthusiastic about the training to being against the idea as soon as Adrien speaks against it. They leave not long after, and there is no doubt in anyone’s minds that they need to get her out.

While Marinette is on patrol one day, a large flower appears in her face, and sprays some kind of pollen. The earrings are providing her some resistance, but most of her energy is going to staying awake. While trying not to pass out, she accidentally stumbles off of the roof. She doesn’t notice, nor does she notice that a giant plant caught her. Finally, the pollen combined with a general lack of sleep get to her, and she passes out.

When Marinette comes to, she notices that her hands are tied. There are vines wrapping around her arms, with a red flower sprouting from the top. As she looks around, she realizes she’s... on a couch? In an apartment? With all the Sirens just hanging out?

Wait.

She scrambles to get up and get out, but she trips in her haste, drawing attention to her. Ivy uses her plants to gently guide Mari to the couch, being careful not to hurt her, but making sure she knows that she can’t leave.

Marinette is just confused.

She’s been kidnapped before, both in and out of costume. Most of the time, they want her miraculous, and the rest usually want dates. However this was new. Glancing at the clock, she realized how late it was. She really didn’t want to loose Tikki again, so she hoped Adrien would understand why she didn’t get back in time.

Harley: “Don’t worry, we’re rescuing you!”

Marinette looked at the vines, then back at Harley.

Harley: “Oh, right. Let me rephrase. We’re rescuing you even though you don’t know you need to be rescued!”

Now this makes Marinette confused. What did she need to be rescued from? Maybe the Bats were mad at them? She really needed to smooth things over for her and Adrien quickly if that were the case. Noticing her confusion, Poison Ivy took over.

Ivy: “Look, we just need to check a few things then you can go. We’re concerned that your boyfriend is abusing you, and we need to make sure you’re safe.”

Oh. Marinette can deal with this. Adrien had never hurt her outside of akuma attacks where he got mind controlled, and that wasn’t his fault. Just because he was in charge of the duo didn’t mean he was hurting her. She was just about to tell the Siren this, when she got sprayed by another flower. She got ready to fight off sleep again, but was surprised when she didn’t feel any more tired.

Ivy: “Don’t worry about that, it’s just something that will compel you to tell the truth. We won’t ask any secret identity questions, we’re just making sure you’re ok.”

They ask their normal set of questions, like, ‘has he ever hurt you’, and received odd answers like, ‘not outside the influence of the miraculous.’ When asked more about the miraculous, bubbles flew out of her mouth. as they were about to ask more, her earrings gave a loud beeping, and there was a large flash of light. When the Sirens opened their eyes, they saw a girl wearing civie clothes, with the same red and black domino mask, and a bug... thing? floating in front of her face. Marinette felt a mix of shock and relief. Shock that Tikki had released the transformation, and relief that Adrien had warned her to wear a mask underneath because she was bound to get the earrings stolen at some point. Looking at the shocked faces, she realized that she had said that out loud. She was left speechless when Tikki flew up to her face (Ivy noted how her plants seemed to grow much faster as she flew by) and ripped her mask right off. There were shocks of recognition from all of the Sirens, and as Marinette was about to ask Tikki what in kwami’s name was she thinking? Tikki cut her off.

Tikki: “*Bubbles* no. I am not about to sit by and watch you make excuses. I have been trying to warn you for so long, but you refused to listen. If it takes me revealing your identity for you to leave *Bubbles*, then so be it. Now, you are going to sit there, while I tell these three exactly what’s going on. I don’t care that you think it’s not abuse, because it is. So please, after this, take back the ring and leave. Kaalki can take you anywhere you need to go, even if not for yourself, do it for us.”

Marinette was left speechless, and Tikki turned around and started to explain the whole story. As she couldn’t say their real names, she would just use their hero names while clarifying on whether they were civilians. After the whole story, they were ready to go skin a cat. Selina would normally take offense to this, but at this point she was too angry to care. When Marinette finally broke down, everyone comforted her, and they created a plan. They would broadcast having her hostage, (after telling the bats so they wouldn’t come) and get Adrien to come rescue her. Or at least, Marinette hoped. She knew there was a slight chance that he wouldn’t come after her, or at lease leave her there for a bit as a lesson. She fought the part telling her that she would deserve that, and got ready. After feeding Tikki, she transformed and got into place. After broadcasting the video, they sat and waited. About an hour later, Adrien came crashing through the window, landing in front of her. He used Cataclysm on the chair, and that was when Marinette struck.

Marinette: “As Guardian of the Miracle Box, I, Marinette Dupain Cheng, hereby revoke Adrien Agreste’s right to wield a miraculous.”

In a flash of light, Adrien was de-transformed, ring having flown into Marinette’s finger, with Plagg looking relived. Adrien was fuming, ranting at her, until he decided to attack. The moment he lunged, he got a mallet upside the head, knocking him out.

The relief of it all being over got to Marinette, and she broke down on the floor.

Now the ending is open for interpretation! This was kind of a prompt, maybe more of an idea, but there are a few ways this could play out.

She could get adopted by the Sirens, and gain three new aunts. Maybe eventually she’ll feel up to joining them on their nights out.

She gets with Batfam member of choice. She is an adult here, so pair her w/ whoever while being mindful of that

Bruce adopts her. She fits the Wayne criteria, and his kids love her.

Come up w/ a completely original ending! Go wild!

That’s all for now, night all!

[orange-waterfalls]

All Your Fault

Yancy x gender neutral!reader, Illinois x gender neutral!reader

@glitchbitch69 ty for the prompt!

A/N: aight look, im not good with angst. I did my best??? Rated T for cursing and like 1 single mention of blood. It's sad boy hours out here. Mostly Yancy x reader, a bit Illinois x reader if you squint. I bet you could probably say Yancy x Illinois, too. Fluffy at the end.

Word Count: 2.2k

--

Yancy sits near the lantern, glaring at the adventurer sitting across from him. The adventurer in question was looking at the side of the tent, watching for any shadows.

Zombies are attracted to light after all.

Or is it sound… and moths are attracted to light…

I'm getting off topic. Let's continue.

Yancy clenches his fists when he thinks back to you…

You…

He loved you…

Your skin, your smile, your handsome and/or beautiful face…

And now you were gone. You disappeared.

No… you were taken from him.

And it was all this bastards fault.

Illinois. Yancy hated Illinois. But you made him promise to stay with him. Safety in numbers. It took everything he had not to deck the guy every time he opened his mouth. He was so cocky and arrogant for absolutely no reason! He was so annoying! He hated him… he missed you… he missed you a lot…

Illinois, on the other hand, was fond of Yancy. He found him endearing. And if you liked him, he couldn't be that bad. The kid did kill his parents, but he didn't know the whole story. He couldn't judge. He was happy when Yancy decided to stay with him. He had something to remember you by… he liked Yancy and he loved you. And he missed you.

But he'd never let that show. He'd keep his feelings to himself. He'd act just like he always did. Cocky, flirty, and adventurous. He had to. For Yancy. For you.

He missed you a lot.

Illinois turns back to Yancy, who's glaring daggers into his soul. He smirks at the man.

"C'mon, bud, I know I'm handsome, but there's no need to stare," he teases. Yancy narrows his eyes even more.

"Fuck youse," Yancy growls.

"Language, pal, language," Illinois chuckles. If Yancy glared any harder his eyes would pop out of his sockets. Illinois crossed his legs. "There ain't any out there now. I think it's safe to go to sleep." Yancy, still a bit pissy, nodded and layed down on a jacket. Your jacket. The jacket you lost when you died. He loved the jacket… it smelled like you…

Illinois was a bit jealous that you had given Yancy your jacket, but he understood. Yancy was nicer. You were closer to him. You both let yourselves be vulnerable around each other.

Unlike Illinois, who was too proud and masculine for his own good.

He waited until Yancy was sleeping before lying down himself. You made him promise to keep Yancy safe. He intended on keeping it. Only when he was absolutely sure Yancy was asleep, he laid down. He covered his face with his hat and closed his eyes.

--

Illinois wakes up and puts his hat back on his head. He yawns and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. He could feel how empty his stomach was.

"Alright, bud, I'm gonna go out and-" Illinois looked over, only to find there was no one there. His eyes widened. He left the tent and looked around frantically.

"Yancy? Yancy?!" He called. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no! He had promised. He was supposed to keep Yancy safe! What's he gonna do? He looked over and saw a dense forest with sneaker tracks in the dirt. He took a deep breath and headed in.

He ran through the woods, gun in hand, hoping and wishing and praying to find the prisoner. Why the hell did he run here? Did he see a zombie and panic? Did he see a zombie and not warn Illinois? That's rude…

He searches for 15 minutes without finding anything. He tries his best to go in a straight line, but he falls down a hill, not exactly knowing where he came from when he gets to the bottom. He groans and staggers to his feet. He holds his head, but pulls his hand away as he feels blood.

"Ain't that just peachy," he grumbles. He takes bandages he found at a hospital and wraps them around his head. He walks forward, hoping to find a trace of Yancy. He finds something even better. He finds Yancy, sitting on the grass, barely moving. Illinois sighs in relief. "Jesus, man, y'almost gave me a heart attack…" Yancy doesn't move. Illinois frowns and slowly walks towards him. "Kid…?" He reaches out.

"I saw them," Yancy says, barely above a whisper.

"Saw… who?" Illinois asks, hoping he isn't going crazy.

"Y/N… I saw them… they was right there… I went after them but they was gone…"

"Yancy…"

"Don't you fuckin' "Yancy" me, asshole!" Yancy suddenly screams. Illinois steps back, surprised.

"Y/N's gone Yancy," Illinois calmly explains. Yancy clenches his fists so hard he draws blood. His face is fixed in a hateful glare, and tears begin streaming down his face.

"I know they're fuckin gone! I've known that for the past 3 months! I know that they're gone, and I know that it's all because of you!" He screams, sobbing between sentences. "Y/N's gone and it's all your fault!" Illinois frowns, not knowing how to respond to that accusation. It wasn't his fault… was it? You decided to distract them… that was your decision… it wasn't his fault… it wasn't. Illinois inhales deeply.

"I'm going to go look for some food. I expect you to be back at camp by the time I get back." Yancy scoffs and turns away from him. "I'll give you some time to cool down." Illinois turns back towards where he came. He paused for a moment, wondering if he should comfort Yancy. He decided against it.

He'd only make it worse.

--

Illinois is out for a bit longer than he expected. He had a run in with a really weird military guy… what was his name? Ted? Not like it matters. He's dead. Illinois did manage to find a couple cans of soup, beans, and vegetables in an abandoned camp. He wondered what happened to them…

He decides not to think about it too much.

He makes his way back to camp, hoping Yancy listened to him this one time. He was happily surprised to find Yancy sitting next to a fire, holding two birds. He looks up at Illinois for a moment before looking away. Illinois raises a brow.

"I, uh… I thought I'd surprise you with lunch… but… I don't know how to cook a bird…" he explains awkwardly. Illinois smiles.

"That's alright. It's difficult. Here, we'll cook these and save them for dinner. We should pack up and keep moving." Yancy nods as Illinois begins to show what he's supposed to do.

After they finish cooking the birds and eating two cans of beans, they pack up. They decided it'd be better to keep moving and look for better shelter than to sit around doing nothing. By the time dinner rolled around, they'd found a nice, small, abandoned house. They both agreed it was best to stay there instead of in the tent for another night. There were two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen. It was cozy. They liked it. They manage to get the stove to work using a lighter, and they make soup to eat with their bird meat. They sit in silence eating their dinner, both feeling very awkward. Yancy sets his bowl down after he finishes and sighs.

"Uh… hey, Illinois?" He asks. Illinois looks up. "I'm, uh… I'm… sorry about earlier…" Illinois smiles sadly.

"It's fine, kid."

"No, it's not… I had no right to say that to youse, I was feeling sad and I needed someone to blame, so I took it out on youse… I'm sorry," Yancy explains. Illinois blinks at his sudden maturity and smiles.

"Alright, I forgive you," they both sit, smiling at each other, sharing a moment of mutual understanding. Until…

"I would hate to see your cute little face upset," Illinois winks. Yancy squints at him.

"Youse is a douchebag," he grabs his bowl and takes it back to the kitchen.

Both men sleep in the bedrooms, feeling a bit more closure. They knew that it wasn't either of their faults. They could get along better now. They'd be alright.

--

Yancy wakes up to something small hitting his arm. He brushes it off as a bug, even when he feels it three different times in the exact same place. Then, he feels something much larger hit him in the face.

"OW, what the fuck?!" He yells. He looks down to see a fairly thick book on the floor. He looks out the window, wondering who just threw it. Instead of seeing a human, he sees zombies at the front, trying to break through the door and windows. Yancy yelps and runs across the hall to where Illinois is sleeping. He shakes the adventurer harshly, calling his name to get him up. Illinois groans.

"What? What is it?" He whines. Yancy grabs him up and pulls him to the window, where even more zombies are trying to break in through the back door. Illinois yells out and scrambles to grab his stuff. They gather all their clothes, equipment and food, and run out a window on the side of the house. Illinois vaults out effortlessly. Yancy, on the other hand, does not know how to vault. He knocks a lot of things over and makes a lot of noise as he leaves. The zombies notice this and start to chase after them. Illinois grabs Yancy and starts running. Where to, he had no idea. Just away from there. They run and run and run until the end up in a forest. They run until they get to an open space, catching their breath.

"God…" Yancy pants, "I didn't know zombies were so fast…"

"Me either…" Illinois pants, "but we need to keep going." They try going forward, but are blocked by a wall of zombies. The same thing happens with the other three directions. They stand in the circle of zombies, looking back and forth, trying to find a way out. There was none.

"What do we do? What do we do?!" Yancy panics. Illinois stands, shaking, not knowing. He can't save him. He can't protect Yancy. He failed.

"I'm sorry, Y/N… I'm so sorry…" he whispers. Yancy hears it and covers his face with his hands. They both sit, holding and hugging each other, waiting for what's to come.

Suddenly, they hear quick footsteps and the zombies all stop. Keeping their eyes closed, they hear a series of grunts and moans and groans. Then they hear the zombies leave.

Wait… the zombies are leaving?

They open their eyes to see all the zombies just… gone. Except for one. Right in front of them. Illinois stands up, pulling Yancy with him. He hides the man behind his back and brandishes his gun, ready to shoot. But the zombie steps back, holding its hands up. Since when do zombies surrender? He sees something shine in his eye and looks to see what it is. He sees a necklace.

A golden necklace.

A necklace he gave to you on your second adventure together…

Wait…

He looks up at the zombie's face. Your face was a bit gray, but it was you.

It was you!

"Y/N?" He asks in disbelief. You look up at him and smile, nodding happily. Illinois drops his gun and runs over, hugging you. Yancy stands for a moment not knowing what to do.

"No… no way…" he starts. Illinois turns, expecting him to be angry or confused. He's just the opposite. He's smiling from ear to ear. "NO FUCKING WAY!" He yells and runs into your arms. He starts to sob.

"But… but you…" Illinois starts. You shrug and show him your bite. Yancy pulls away.

"But how are youse… y'know… thinkin'?" He asks. You think for a moment, knitting your eyebrows together, before shrugging. Yancy laughs. "Of course ya don't know, ya dumbass," you gently punch his shoulder.

"How'd you find us?" Illinois asks. You scratch the back of your neck. You try to talk, but no words form.

Is that just… a thing? With zombies?

Hm. Guess so. Anyways.

You get on your knees, grab a stick, and write something in the mud. "I've followed you for the past two months. I know what you smell like."

"You know what we smell like? Aw…" Illinois teases. You glare at him playfully. It was nice to know he hadn't changed. Yancy, on the other hand, looked 3 minutes away from a full-on emotional breakdown.

"2 months? 2 months youse was right there? 2 months we coulda been together?" He asks, tears visible in his eyes. You frown, feeling guilty. You take Yancy into your arms and just hold him. He starts to cry. Which turns into sobbing. Illinois stands, looking at you two. He smiles. You were back! Thank God. He didn't think he could handle Yancy. After a minute he sighs.

"Alright, you two. Let's head out," he says. You nod and lift Yancy off of his knees. He wipes at his eyes and sniffles for a moment before walking, refusing to let go of your hand. Illinois follows close behind. You were back… you were still here, but now, you're with them. He almost couldn't believe it. He laughs to himself.

Yep. They'd be alright.

I'm supposed to be studying lol

[travllingbunny]

The 100: 7x07 The Queen’s Gambit

I owe you all the reviews for episodes 7x07, 7x08 and 7x09, the only ones I didn’t have the time to write after the episodes aired. (I only posted My authentic live reactions to 7x07.) Now I’m on my annual leave (since yesterday... well, technically, from tomorrow) so finally I’m gonna post them before the show returns. During this mini hiatus, @jeanie205​ and me have been doing a joint rewatch of season 7, and we’ve reached 7x08 (which I’ll be posting a review of tomorrow).

Unpopular opinion - I quite liked this one. Roughly on the same level as the previous two episodes, maybe even slightly more as there was nothing major that really bugged me this time. I like it when the show takes a break from the plot and exposition to focus on characters, and this one had some character moments I really enjoyed (in particular for Emori, Octavia, Diyoza and Hope) and the show addressed some of the long-standing issues I’ve had with some of the previous events (such as Octavia’s beating of Bellamy in season 3 or Madi taking the Flame in season 5). It certainly helps that Emori and Diyoza have always been among my favorite characters and that Octavia has become one of my favorites with her amazing development over the last few seasons. One of those “addressing previous issues” things was the Becho flashback (as the lack of flashbacks for that relationship has been rightfully criticized) was OK and in line with what we know of this relationship. Even Nelson’s characterization made sense this time.

There are a couple of things I’m not sure how I feel about, and the big “reveal” at the end was hardly a reveal to anyone in the hardcore fandom, but was still necessary. The pacing of this season hasn’t been the best for sure, but I think I wouldn’t have had any problems if the momentum from the end of this episode - with Clarke and co. arriving on Bardo and learning about Bellamy’s “death”, followed by Cadogan being woken up from the cryo sleep -  and the backdoor pilot was followed by getting directly into present day action and involving Clarke and the rest of the Nakara group in what’s going on. I think it was mostly 7x09 and the completely unnecessary flashbacks that really ruined it and made me lose patience with the season.

I loved the mother/daughter conversation between the two Dizoyas in this episode, which was emotional and also touched on the show’s crucial themes of violence and morality. These two haven’t seen each other in what was just about a month for the mother, but 15 years for the daughter. Diyoza is treating Hope as a child, because that is what she is for her, which frustrates Hope - a dynamic that many will find familiar - though in this case, it’s a bit more understandable as Diyoza hasn’t seen Hope since she was 10, and secondly, she is right that Hope is still naive in some respects as she hasn’t had a chance to meet that many people and experience that much. But that is partly a consequence of Diyoza sheltering Hope from the knowledge about her own life before Skyring. (Hope even threw Dev in her face - explicitly calling him her father - as her other parent figure, one who did teach her to fight and try to prepare her for the real world.) And Diyoza getting upset that Hope came to Bardo to rescue her  - as she saw it her role to save her (“I was coming to save you”) was not logical - she knows how time dilation works, so she should know that Hope would have been long dead by that time, if she hadn’t come to Bardo. Hope was right when she pointed out that the real problem is that her mother wanted Hope to be innocent, the way she isn’t, and that she is upset to see that Hope has become a killer, too. Diyoza was driven both to protect Hope in the physical sense and to protect her innocence - and, as she finally admits here, she wanted Hope to see her in a different light than everyone else does. We’ve already seen in season 6 that Diyoza is really unhappy about her legacy and her past and the idea that everyone sees her as a killer and terrorist. I’ve never thought she should have paid much attention to what Russell Lightbourne of all people said her place in “history books” was (which history books? The Sanctum ones? He left Earth shortly after Diyoza was arrested), but it’s clear that the reason she took it so hard is because she herself feels bad about her past actions. She thinks goal was right, but her methods were not - as she ended up killing innocent people.  “Doing the right thing the wrong way isn’t doing the right thing”.  She is a jaded character who can do violence better than anyone - in a tactical way and only as much as necessary, rather than impulsively or out of bloodlust - and she still does it, but who hates it at the same time, which is why she puts hope (!) in her daughter to be different. When she tells Hope “Violence and rage will destroy your soul, revenge is a game with no winners”, it feels like this is the show working towards its final messages in its final season. 

If the prequel gets green lit, I hope we get more Charmaine Diyoza backstory in flashbacks and learn what was going in pre-apocalypse. In season 5, she said she was fighting a fascist government, and in this scene, we got a few more backstory crumbs, such as that everyone she loved died in wars, some of which “did not need to be fought”. I want to know what the Battle of San Francisco was - the one where Diyoza apparently saved people and was considered a hero for - and what later made her rebel against the government. We also get a McCreary mention when Diyoza finally decides it is time to disclose the full ugly truth to Hope - who and what he was and what he did, which the audience already knew, and the new info for us, that the reason why she had sex with him was to get him on her side during the uprising. (Which, I believe, is the first time anyone on the show has admitted that sex may sometimes be motivated by manipulative reasons.)

Octavia comforting Echo is a scene that got a lot of criticism. But I think this is a really good scene for Octavia and her character development. No, Octavia hugging Echo and telling her she is her family isn’t inconsistent with the fact that Octavia has never liked Echo (and was open about it in how she talked to Hope about her) or that these two characters were never anywhere near being friends, even when they stopped being outright enemies. This is simply Octavia letting go off all grudges and seeing herself and Echo as united in grief,, and is accepting Echo as family because she was in her brother’s life. And she is also now able to empathize with people instead of judging them, seeing the echoes of her how she herself felt after Lincoln’s death. 

What particularly meant a lot for me is that the show has finally addressed her beating of Bellamy in season 3 and that Octavia expressed regret about it. That’s something I had been waiting for, for 4 years. That controversial scene had become even more upsetting over time because of the amount of fanon built around it in fandom wars. Such as the Bellamy-haters attempt to justify it and claim that he “deserved it” and even attempt to blame him for Lincoln’s death, ignoring the fact that Bellamy had tried ti save Lincoln and turned his back on Pike after Lincoln, Kane and Sinclair were sentenced to death, and offered Octavia his help - but she distrusted him, knocked him out and chained him up in a cave and went to save Lincoln by herself. On the other hand, I’ve now seen people criticize Octavia saying “And he let me” and argue that he was “helpless” as he was chained up - which is again ignoring canon, since Miller and others wanted to interfere and stop the beating, by Bellamy kept telling them to stay away. It’s been argued that Bellamy let her do it because he felt guilty. but while there may have been some of that, I've always thought the main reason because he realized she needed it, she needed to blame someone else and take it out on someone else, and Pike was not around. And more importantly, she needed to blame Bellamy in order not to blame herself for failing to rescue him, in order not to think “If only I had done this differently..”. Bellamy started telling her in 3x13: "I came to you, I offered help. If you had only..." and then he saw her look and stopped himself and left, realizing what he was about to say. Octavia sees his motives the same way, saying he let her because she knew he needed it, but she isn’t using this to justify herself. She can now acknowledge her mistakes and take responsibility, and show compassion for someone in a similar situation. It’s not just about grief and losing a loved one - Octavia is now a different person and does not react to losing Bellamy (as she believes) in the same violent, desperate way. Octavia saw Lincoln as her “home” at the time. Echo saw Bellamy as her leader and made saving him her mission for 5 years, and Octavia realizes she must be blaming herself for failing at it. She tells her "It’s not your fault" because she blamed herself when she did not save Lincoln.

The show has been criticized (with good reason) for developing the Bellamy/Echo relationship off-screen during a time jump, and showing a flashback in season 7 could be seen as the show ticking off another box. But the flashback’s main purpose here is clearly to comment on Echo’s storyline this season - specifically, on the issue of loyalty as her main motive (or her tendency to always look for someone to follow, as she herself has said to herself through her hallucinations). The most important lines in the scene are Bellamy telling her “Loyalty is your weakness” and, after she replies it is not, “It is, when it makes us do things we know are wrong”. To paraphrase Indra from a previous episode - loyalty is not a weakness, blind loyalty is. (I will go with the least cynical of the several interpretations I’ve seen floating around of what Bellamy meant when he followed this with a question “Do you think you can be loyal to us?” I think he thought that, as a “shapeshifter”, as he called her, he and the Spacekru can influence her to accept their values and not be a ruthless killer as she was taught to be by Queen Nia.)

Still, there’s a lot that can be deduced from this scene regarding Bellamy’s mindset on the Ring and the Bellamy/Echo dynamic in general - though it’s more of a confirmation of the things we have noticed before. What strikes me the most about this scene is that it may be the least romantic first kiss scene I’ve seen, at least out of those that resulted in a long-term relationship. It feels more like a recruitment scene - and most of the dialogue is about Echo’s and Bellamy’s relative character strengths and weaknesses, and whether Echo can be a loyal part of Bellamy’s team. Echo does look softer and more vulnerable and insecure than we’re used to seeing her, and very surprised that Bellamy is forgiving her for things she herself was afraid he never would be able to (such as betraying him at MW - which led to his previous girlfriend’s death, or trying to kill his sister), let alone show interest in a relationship with her. But Bellamy is a far cry from the emotional man we see interacting with Clarke, either in seasons 1-4 or in seasons 5-6. He is calm, composed, he wants to move on from the past, and when he kisses Echo, it feels like a moment of decision. The Ring!Bellamy has spent 3 years in peace, without needing to protect anyone - as there are no outside threats. He has mourned Clarke, believing that she died saving them all and he left her behind. He feels that his sister is his “weakness” (”love is weakness” - Echo calls it his strength), but his guiding motivation is still to go back to Earth and reunite with her. It’s not the first time Bellamy has lamented the power that his feelings for his sister have over him - in season 4, he described himself as pathetic as always coming back after she had treated him so badly. (Is this a part of the reason why he’s only ever had romantic and/or sexual relationships with women that he doesn’t have such powerful feelings for - unlike Clarke, who is also his ‘weakness’  and the only person for whom he has feelings strong enough to rival those for his sister?) In season 6, Bellamy will criticize Echo for not being emotionally open as he said she was on the Ring. As we know, she was not fully emotionally open on the Ring, either, as she never told him her backstory (he notes here that she doesn’t like talking about herself), but I can kind of see what he meant - she was a lot softer, and going back to the ground and back into the center of action made her go back into the emotionless soldier mode, which is her default survival mode. And for Bellamy, going to the ground, on the other hand, meant being caught again in a swirl of all the emotions - learning Clarke was alive and reuniting with her, seeing a very changed Octavia, having to fight and kill and do things to protect people again - we saw him change from this laid-back Bellamy in 5x01 and become more emotional, throughout seasons 5 and 6. The Ring, with its 6 years of peace and boredom, was like a vacuum - and Echo saw it as something that was “not real” and their relationship as one that’s specific to the Ring and that wouldn’t survive on the ground. One thing that this flashback revealed is how long they had been dating - it seems that “forgiving” was synonymous with “starting to date” (they really spent no time being friends), which makes it all the more astounding that, after 3 years of dating, Echo had the exact same insecurities in 5x01, believing that their relationship would not survive on the ground. In this scene here, Bellamy wasn’t even trying to reassure her - he instead used a kiss to shut her up and make her ignore those concerns. There is a development in their relationship - as Bellamy here calls Spacekru a team, a unit, and wants Echo to be a part of it, and Bellamy in 5x01, three years later, calls them and Echo his “family”. He certainly started to care about her deeply. But at no point does he mention love, and he certainly doesn’t look like a man in love.

But while it’s clear what the main themes of Echo’s character arc are, I have to say that I have no idea where exactly this arc is going. Will she learn to have some sort of identity outside loyalty to Azgeda or Bellamy or anyone else? Can she stop being a soldier and a killer, or is the point of her arc that some people can never change? Will she ever examine the morality of her actions the way Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia have been doing, and as Diyoza does in this same episode? I can’t say I’m fully sure what the dramatic moment of Echo slashing her face Azgeda-style meant. All I can say is that it seems to point out that 1) she has been shaped as a person by her Azgeda warrior upbringing in her childhood and this is her main identity she will probably never let go off, and 2) the way she said the scars mean the pain has stopped but you will never forget makes me think she has revenge on her mind. But this wouldn’t be very different of what we already saw her do impulsively in 7x05. Everyone expects Echo to be out for revenge against the Disciples - so it might be more interesting if she really decided to fight for them because she needs that in her life.

We also see Gabriel’s recruitment - the episode’s opening scene, with a pretty straightforward combination of both carrot and stick: come join us and explore the universe, something you’ve been obsessed with for over a hundred years, and oh, the alternative is getting executed, and your friends potentially getting executed. Gabriel is driven by both his scientific curiosity and a wish to save Echo/Hope/Octavia. He genuinely wanted to save them, but he also took away their choice and did it against their will and feels bad about betraying them - another one of those tricky situations in the show where someone betrays someone out of the desire to save their life.

As the Disciples are sending Orlando’s body to Nakara, we see Gabriel do his own ritual of saying “Death is life” as he did for Josephine. Conspiracy theorists were very excited about the fact that we don’t see Orlando’s dead body, but I’d say that simply means the show didn’t want to call the actor back and pay him for appearing as a dead body for 2 seconds.

An unexpectedly funny moment was Anders saying, in reference to Orlando’s death: “I think we need to rethink our penal system” (ya think?) - Neal McDonough’s face was just perfect in that moment. And Gabriel is getting back some of his tendency for snarky one-liners that we haven’t seen much since the first half of season 6 (his only question about being a Disciple is “Do I get a robe?” )

I have no idea why the show, in the following episodes. treats the characters’ decisions to join the Disciples as a big mystery that needed flashbacks to be explained. Anders directly threatened Gabriel and Diyoza, Hope, Octavia and Echo thought they would be executed or tortured, until Echo realized they wanted to recruit them (which was becoming obvious from the nice treatment they were getting - Octavia was even allowed to read a book). It’s not like any of them had a choice, and joining the Disciples and pretending to be loyal is the obvious way to go. 

Another instance of the show commenting on its previous controversial storyline: when Jackson tells Madi that Bellamy convincing her in S5 to take the Flame was not right even though it was also true that it was the only way to save Clarke. Fans tend to take extreme positions on this one - either it was unambiguously bad or it was the right thing - so I’m glad to see the show admitting the complexity of that situation, and that some things can be both necessary and morally wrong - especially since season 5 seemed to treat Commander!Madi as an unambiguously good thing. Seasons 6 and 7 have since gone a long way to acknowledge that making the Grounder tradition of 12 old Commanders is pretty messed up.

I do wonder though, just like Emori did in this episode, since when is Jackson is shrink. He’s a surgeon, and neither he nor Abby have ever shown much in the way of understanding about mental health issues before.

I’ve always loved Emori - back when she was first introduced, because she was a morally ambiguous but sympathetic antiheroine with a developed backstory and because her relationship with Murphy initially subvert the “redemption for the love of a good woman” trope. Both she and the relationship have since developed and changed a lot. Emori started out cynical, distrustful of people and bent on her own survival, due to having such a tough life since she was a child cast out for the way she was born, but over the seasons, she has found love, a “family”, developed new skills, and learned what it is like to be cared, loved and respected by others - and she has become a much more idealistic character. She’s adapted to the new situation - having to pretend to be a Prime - much better than Murphy.  Murphy says (and Sheidheda later echoes that) that it is because she enjoys being worshiped - and I’m sure that’s a part of the reason (and is very understandable - as someone who was thrown away like garbage as a child and an outcast for most of her life, of course she would enjoy adoration, even if it is for directed at someone she is only pretending to be), but she is happily embracing her role mostly because she can use that newfound privilege and power to do something good - and to try to heal an old emotional wound,  trying to do reunite the CoG with their parents who rejected them for being nulls. She will never get a chance to learn if her own parents would be able to un-learn their own brainwashing, regret their actions and have an emotional reunion with her - but she clearly wants to believe they would. This episode may be hammering that point a bit too much with having Jackson analyze her actions - when it’s already obvious and she also straight up tells all that to Nelson, making a parallel between his and her fate, the “nulls” and “Frikdreinas”, both rejected as abominations for their DNA, (When Nelson does his angry-stubborn thing and tells her “You know nothing about me”, it reminded me of Emori’s conversation with Clarke in 4x07, when she said “You know nothing of my pain”.) Unfortunately - while Emori tells Murphy: “The way out of hell is paved with good deeds” - what happens ends up being in line with the proverb “The way to hell is paved with good intentions”. We see some of the old, sly Emori when she tricks Nelson into drinking so she could use his DNA to match him with his parents. But her new idealism makes her underestimate just how horrible people can be.

As I said in my immediate reactions, Nelson’s father is the worst. I really don’t want to judge if it is realistic that people can be so horrible and so brainwashed...  sadly, it probably is. And to be fair, everyone else at that event seemed to be OK, but it’s enough for one a-hole to ruin everything. In any case, that scene was quite strong and well-acted on the part of Lee Majdoub as Nelson (aka Sachin). Unlike in the last episode, Nelson’s characterization made sense this time. His reasoning does not (and Nikki - who is not an interesting antagonist but whose motivations at least make sense - points out the exact same thing I wondered about 7x06, what kind of justice is he looking for now that all the Primes are gone?), he’s not a very rational character, but you can see where he was coming from emotionally, reacting to what happened. 

It was weird, though, that he immediately started talking in the name of all Children of Gabriel and making decisions for them. In season 6, they seemed more like a bunch of people with different ideas who disagreed a lot, but now they seem to be another group that blindly follows a leader.

One thing I enjoyed better the first time were the Murphy and Sheidheda scenes. I really didn’t realize where it was going the first time I watched the episode, but knowing what it’s all about and that Shady is just stalling  - it makes sense, but it also makes these scene drag on during a rewatch. Yes, Sheidheda is portrayed as a master manipulator (I think he is the first antagonist in this show who can be said to be one), and he found all the right ways to get to Murphy - calling him out on his  desire to be a hero and desire to be loved (both of which Murphy always wants to deny), threatening his “queen” Emori, trying to play on Murphy’s concerns about the fact Emori is more adaptable than him, and, most of all, tricks Murphy into trying to play a mind game with him and prove something, try to outsmart him. But when you already know where it’s all going, it feels like those could have been a bit shorter. Maybe instead we could have had a couple more scenes showing what was up with Octavia, Echo, Hope and Diyoza, so they wouldn’t dedicate an entire episode (7x09) to that. But maybe putting a couple of flashbacks (around 5-10 minutes) at the beginning of 7x09 and then getting on with the present day Bardo action (i.e. whatever is gonna happen in 7x10) would have been an even better solution. 

As with “Hesperides”, I’m still not sure why this episode has the title it has and if I’ve been overthinking it. Surely it can’t just be so literal and refer only to Murphy’s move in the chess game between him and Sheidheda? I expected a metaphor about sacrificing a pawn, someone or something of yours that you see as less important, to gain something else, and/or empower your strongest player. I can’t really think of anything in this episode that really fits that. Unless it refers to something else that’s yet to happen this season.

One minor thing that doesn’t make much sense to me was Murphy mentioning Lexa to try to make Sheidheda feel bad, by pointing out her popularity (”everyone loves her”) and his unpopularity. I’m confused by this, because it feels like a big retcon, or a case of the writers starting to confuse Lexa’s popularity in the fandom with her status in-universe. It was a major plot point that everyone was turning against her in season 3 (Nia challenged her and all the other clan leaders sided with Nia and almost voted Lexa down, a Trikru farmer tried to assassinate her, her Flamekeeper was worried that her people would turn against her...) I suppose we’re meant to think her popularity has risen since she died - that seemed to be how it was portrayed in season 4 - but even if that were the case, how much would Murphy know about it? He was only in Polis for a short time in season 3 (pre-ALIE) and mostly interacted with Titus and Ontari, spent season 4 hanging out with Skaikru, was not in the bunker and never got to spend much time with Wonkru. Are we to think that he learned of Lexa’s popularity with Wonkru during these few days on Sanctum in season 7? But as we’ve seen, Sheidheda is not really universally hated among Wonkru and still has stans at least in his own clan, Sangedakru. Sheidheda, on his part, correctly points out that Lexa was killed by a Flamekeeper, just as he was. He says it was because they were afraid of his “ideas” - not explaining what ideas those were, and says Lexa also was... Which also isn’t exactly what happened: Titus was not afraid of Lexa’s ideas, he was afraid she was listening to Clarke and Clarke’s ideas too much. 

We get a minor Bardo time jump of 3 months in the middle of the episode. I have no idea at which point in the Sanctum timeline this or that part of the Bardo storyline happened - they are clearly not being shown chronologically, as the Bardo part of the episodes 7x05-7x06 probably lasted for a few (Bardo) hours. 

Gabriel is apparently now a Level 3 Disciple and works on the "cipher” team. I guess the Disciples value scientific people more than soldier Disciples, since Echo, Octavia and Diyoza still don’t seem to be even Level 1 based on the lack of symbols on their faces, and Levitt is somehow Level 11. Since they have been working on the codes for thousands of (Bardo) years, I’m surprised that the Disciples haven’t managed to do more. According to another team member, the last big discovery was before he was born and it was a 10 digit code that allows them to “harness the power of what you call the Anomaly. 

We get new info in this episode as the final code they are looking for is supposed to help them achieve “transcendence” aka “the final evolution of the species” (which they believe the beings who made the Anomaly Stones had done) and help them win the “last war”, and I assume that the transcendence has something to do with the white light that was seen when Becca typed the 7 symbol combination she only managed to find because she had the Flame in her head, and whatever she saw on the other side - which must be something different from the regular green light that appears when a bridge to another planet is opened. Cadogan’s questions to Anders after waking up were: "Have we cracked the code? Has the war begun?" It's a bit frustrating that the show keep withholding the info - what is the last war, who is it fought against? Is it even a physical war? I guess it must be at least partially, as they train and they want to recruit people like Echo, Octavia, Diyoza. But is that all?

Such a funny contrast between the star-struck, adoring Anders and an almost bored Cadogan, who first  asks, after seeing who woke him up: “You again?” Having seen 7x08, I wonder if maybe Cadogan is not impressed by people who worship him without question and try to please him -as his son did (as opposed to his daughter). Anders keep calling him the “Shepherd” and Cadogan says his trademark line “Call me Bill”. He must have told him that before, if Anders had already woken him up before. Or he just doesn’t like to be woken up more often than once in a few decades or a century, since he says he was woken up “this early”.

I really like the way Clarke’s reaction to hearing about Bellamy’s “death” was portrayed. There was some debate about the fact that Lindsey Morgan, the director of the episode, first wanted to have Clarke fall to her knees, and that Jason overruled her - and I have to say I agree with him. Focusing on Clarke’s face and seeing the shock and gradual realization on her face felt a lot less melodramatic and a lot more real.

A couple of interesting things I’ve noticed: Cadogan has a picture of pre-apocalypse “Polis” (Baltimore?) on Level 13 where his cryo is.

I was first under the impression that Madi’s drawing we see in this episode showed Becca going into the Anomaly, then when I saw it showed multiple people, that it was the Second Dawn members leaving Earth. But after rewatching Anaconda, I think this is the scene when Becca activated the Stone and everyone (Becca, Bill, Grace, Callie and Reese) stood there around it, talking about it. So, probably another one of Becca’s memories.

Rating: 7.5/10

[imaginesforthosewhoseekthem]

Just imagine a normally nice MC that is pissed off. Everyone will be kinda concerned and confused bc this docile, sweet human is threatening to behead them. This something I cannot get out of my head. It’s ok if you don’t do it, but thanks for taking the time to read this :)

((I might just be on a Danganronpa binge, but I picture MC snapping like this (Spoilers for Danganronpa if you’ve never seen or played it and intend on doing so. I’ll put a gif under it if it helps prove the point better) ))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt_qF8SbZ_I

                         I’m gonna TRY to take this seriously, I swear XD. Only doing this with the 7 bros atm, but lemme know if you guys want the undateables in the future.

SPOILERS FOR LESSONS 1-20, MOSTLY CUSA BELPHIE’S PART. I really hope this is okay, it took me a WHILE to write. There’s probably some grammar mistakes here and there, but I will fix them overtime))

Lucifer:

Lucifer was kinda putting pressure on you with chores and tasks, barely giving you time to rest. Eventually, it just kinda made you snap at him.

“CAN’T YOU DO THIS CRAP YOURSELF?! YOU MANAGE THESE 6 IDIOTS ALL THE TIME AND YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING LIKE A SIMPLE CHORE OR TASK?!” you snapped at him.

Welp...it was nice knowing you. Depending on the types of relationship you have with Lucifer, his punishments are either personal...or “Private” if you get my drift.

WE KNOW YOU’RE A FREAKY BITCH, LUCI!

Either way, you DEFINITELY feel like you are dead meat once you realize it was LUCIFER you snapped at. 

If the others are in the room with you, Mammon will run, Levi will livestream it, Satan and Belphegor will either be there to laugh at you or encourage you to say worse, Beel will get a snack to watch and Asmo...well he’ll probably tell Luci to try not leave a mark on your body because that’s “his job”. Basically no one is helpful here.

Unless you’re not afraid of Luci or just stupid in which case, you keep runnin your damn mouth at him over stuff that will TOTALLY hurt his Pride. If you get one of his brothers to laugh, even SNICKER at him, you are in WORSE trouble.

Bonus points added to you getting screwed over by him if Diavolo was anywhere CLOSE to hear that,

Your ass is getting dragged to his room or office and getting a talking to or a “talking to” for SEVERAL hours straight.

Luci doesn’t take shit, He i the Avatar of Pride and will not let some human taint it.

Not gonna lie though...you DID catch him off guard and he did kinda ease up on the work because even though he’s way stronger than you, he does NOT wanna see you like that ever again

 Mammon:

Oh, he did it again. He got both of you in trouble. You snapped cus this was the third time in a row that week. Mammon’s making his stupid excuses and it just..unloaded onto him.

“WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T SUCH A SCUMBAG, WE WOULDN'T GET INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE!” you barked at him.

He. Was. Stunned. 

If you’re Lucifer levels of angry, he might even be a little scared of you. 

For a moment to defend himself, he may switch to how he was when you two first met.

“O-Oh yeah?! Who are you, a weak, feeble HUMAN to tell the Great Mammon what he is and isn’t?! I could crush ya right now if I wanted to!”

He’s bluffing so much even humans that WEREN’T there could see it.

“Oh, you know what? YA KNOW WHAT?! That is it! I am not even gonna speak to you til you are BEGGIN’ me to forgive ya!”

Yep, he’s really doing this. Obviously, you don’t care because you’re not the one that should be apologizing here.

The other 6 are actually pretty happy with this transaction. Finally, some silence from Mammon’s ever yapping pie-hole. He’s sitting there with a pout on his lip and slumped. He’s not going to say how sorry you’ll be in front of his brothers because he said HE wasn’t talking to YOU. So he doesn’t need it rubbed in his face.

Of course, being the Avatar of Greed, he’s up to his Greedy ways, so he’ll make whatever excuse he can to get his brothers away from you.

Not even a day has passed and he comes up saying he “forgives you for getting mad at him”. But if you still look upset with him, he does legit feel bad and apologizes...the MAMMON way lol.

“Well...I GUESS if it bugs you that much, I could keep outta trouble...Just for a little while, though! I ain't some softie! I’m too much of an awesome rebel for that~!” he said, trying so much to impress you with his “Bad Boy” attitude.

Deep down, he just doesn’t want to make his human mad at him again.

 Leviathan:

((Sorry if the reason isn't great, but this baby boy is too cute to have a reason to be mad at, I’m sorry! If Levi stans hate this, you have permission to slap me. I deserve it XD))

Levi had kept dragging you to play games with him and watch anime, but you had studying to do.

Whenever you tried to tell him you had to go study, he did this thing where he would use the “Studying is probably better than hanging out with a lame otaku like me” speech to get you to cave in.

You didn't realize it, but you only had a few days left to study and you were STRESSED.

Levi was about to use the same speech on you again when you finally had had enough.

“LEVI! I HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH YOU, IT COULD ACTUALLY COST ME FROM GETTING A GOOD GRADE! CAN YOU PLEASE PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES AND DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T RISK OTHER PEOPLE FAILING AT LIFE!“ you blurted. You regretted saying some of that, but it was too little too late. 

Levi was hurt his best friend would say all of that to him. You could see him fighting back tears. 

“F-Fine..! Whatever! I can just find s-someone else to play with me..!” he said, choking n his words. “J-Just get outta my room, already!”

You tried to apologize for snapping, but he wasn’t having it, at least not right now. 

You would make it up to him after you finished studying and taking your test.

Levi spent the next few days being somewhat passive-aggressive towards you, spending more time with Mammon or Henry 2.0 (his goldfish) just to spite you. However, you were too busy catching up on the studying you missed out on to notice.

Eventually, he was ready to go give you a piece of his mind when he saw...you were asleep at your desk and surrounded by books. It kinda made him realize how much he really made you miss out on and he felt pretty bad.

The next morning, you woke up to a text from Lucifer that said he pulled some strings to get you more time to study and have your date for the test slightly later than the others. You also had Levi’s jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You definitely bought him some new games and figures as a way to apologize for yelling at him and you two made up.

Rest assured, Levi listens to you way more after that. You being mad at him is upsetting and kinda scary to him.

Satan:

Satan was being a typical cynical smartass and talking about what tricks he’ll attempt on Lucifer today.

The past THREE times you, he and Belphie tried to pull pranks on Lucifer, you were one step ahead and you just DID not have the energy for it anymore.

“Hey Satan..~” you say sweetly to lure him in.

“Mmm?” he asked, distractedly.

“Shut...the F**K up!” you snapped, irritated at him.

Now...There are really two ways the Avatar or Wrath can take being told to shut up, let alone to shut the f up. 

If you are LUCKY...Satan will laugh it off with an amused chuckle that you’re trying to intimidate him

Your luck runs out of you try and elaborate on that WHILE he’s laughing.

“IF YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMARTEST BROTHER, HOW DO YOU HAVE SUCH IDIOTIC IDEAS?!”

You’re dead. You’ve dug your own grave and you are DEAD. He’ll PROBABLY grab you by the throat if that REALLY pissed him off.

“What the F**K...did you just say to me you weak, breakable little twerp?” he asks in that calm, serial killer like tone that let’s you know you’re dead meat.

That’s when you run, you knock some books in his path and you run!

You don’t stop running until you find Lucifer to make Satan calm the hell down.

It’s probably best if you two don’t talk to one another for a few days.

Satan is secretly shocked and upset his image of you being the innocent one is shattered...for like, a SECOND. That is until he realizes...he LIKES to see you angry...and he WILL use this newfound enjoyment against you.

You go to apologize, but he yanks you in, pins you to the wall like he’s going to hurt you...but smirks and says in his most smarmy and CONDESCENDING tone.

“You’re even cuter when you’re mad~ I won’t hurt you over this...at least not in the way I had intended~” he teases before pecking your nose and walking away like the tease he is.

He could be such a bitch sometimes.

 Asmodeus:

You were honestly pretty jealous of the people who Asmo had been flirting with. To the point it was really starting to irritate you. Especially if he spoke about how cute OTHER people were while you were there.

When he got to talking about something hot someone else has that you are self conscious over…you just lost it.

“MAYBE IF YOU STARTED THINKING WITH THE HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, YOU’RE VAIN DUMBASS COULD FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES!” you hissed.

Asmo blinked at you, shocked you would even WANT to shriek at someone as beautiful as him. After thinking it over for a second, not even looking offended, just surprised, he grew a small smirk.

You see, kids, if events have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t get angry at Asmo…cus his horny-ass just thinks you’re being forceful or aggressive and he enjoys it.

“My, my~ This is an INTERESTING change of pace, (Y/N). I sense that someone is jealous over my attention being away from them~! Of course, it’s not like I blame you~! I’m so beautiful, ANYONE would fight over me~” he bragged.

You were just so done with his nonsense, you were about to leave, but you felt him grab your wrist all of a sudden. He tugged you close and stroked your chin with a sly smirk.

“That being said, I think I LIKE seeing you raise your voice at me~ Do it some more, (Y/N)~ Pretty please~❤”

Yep, you were gone. You couldn’t with his flirty shit right now. You were still mad, you just had the deepest blush across your cheeks.

Asmo kept trying to make you jealous so you would bark at him. You opened a new kink for him to say the least.

You know what DID end up getting to him though? When you looked the person he was flirting with dead in the eye and said “You can have him..” like you were giving away something you didn’t even want.

THAT’S when he got offended. He was maaaaaaaad.

“(Y/N)! How could you SAY such a thing?! Do you not want me or something?!” he asked, pouting up a storm.

Well, you wanted to get a reaction out of him, you just didn’t expect it to go like THAT.

He tries to give you the cold shoulder, but he wants your attention too much to keep it up, so he eventually sits beside you with a pout on his lips and his arms folded.

“I’m willing to apologize for flirting with other demons...but only if you apologize for that comment earlier.” He said

You eventually do apologize, cus even if you love him, a whiny Asmo can get emotionally tiring. You promise him you mean every word of apology…and then he tackles you with hugs and kisses.

You may or may not regret apologize just for that alone, but at least he’s happy.

Beezlebub:

Beel ate something you were saving for later. Usually he wouldn’t because he would want to eat something like that WITH you since it was yours. Sometimes it wasn’t even that big of a deal to you because you could just get more. ((I know all the foodies in the audience are looking at me funny for writing that. Look guys, unless it’s something I haven’t had in a while, I don’t personally care if someone eats my food.))

 But this time it was different. It was a special treat someone close to you had brought just for you before you got to the Devildom. Maybe even they last time you’d see them for a long time, not just the year you were in the Devildom. It’s not the last time you see them ever because it’s not gonna be THAT depressing guys.

You had written your name and everything on it, but Beel was in his hungry stages…like CLOSE to demon form stages.

You saw the carnage left over from this special treat. Beel was JUST apologize when you snapped.

“TURNING INTO A DEMON PUT YOUR BRAIN IN YOUR STOMACH, DIDN’T IT?!” you snapped. Beel was like…legit surprised to see this coming from YOU of all people. You were such a small, sweet little human the rest of the time and here you were, yelling at him.

Yelling at Beel definitely caused some instant regret, because the boy couldn’t help himself. Now YOU were about to apologize when Beel interrupted.

“I-I’m so sorry (Y/N). I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. I should have gotten one of my brothers to call you…o-or told you on my D.D.D so we could’ve…I’m sorry.” He said, frowning. “I promise, I’ll make up for this…I’ll go to the human world and get the person who made it if I have to.” He said, leaving you alone.

Well you sure felt like a jackass now. Yeah, out of all the brothers, Beel is probably the most understanding, so you legit feel like an ass after yelling at him. You texted and said your apology over and over to him, but he either wouldn’t reply because he was trying to re-create it or insisting it was hit fault.

Belphie is pretty pissed you yelled at Beel like that, but you did tell him you didn’t mean for it to slip out and explain the situation.

He doesn’t get the sentimental value like you or Beel do, but he soon gets you really ARE sorry and leaves you alone about it.

Beel eventually calls you over and he made a BUNCH of the food he ate on you. Some he got his brothers or Barbados to help him with, but a lot were made by him.

This freaking teddy bear of a demon worked his wings off to make it up to you. Of COURSE you two forgive each other.

The flavor probably isn’t EXACTLY like the one he ate on you, but you felt the love put into it none the less and you at least have a new fond memory of that food. You may need help eating it all though.

The whole house eats that dish for a while. You even get Solomon, the angels and even Diavolo to help clean out the supply.

Beel’s more than happy to help though. It’s also just as well you won’t see the person who gave you the original for a while. You get sick of it pretty quick…but seeing Beel smile over it does help bring enjoyment back to the flavor.

 Belphegor:

It was either like Satan where he got you in trouble with Lucifer or he slept in and missed out on something important. Either way, you were fed up with Belphie showing up late to things or not showing up at all

As soon as he woke up, he just gave you an innocent looking, bus clearly condescending smile, much like when he used to lie to your face. You sure let him have it in the middle of his smart ass tone.

“WITH HOW IRRESPONSIBLE YOU ARE, I WISH I COULD SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL YOUR BULLS**T!” you barked at him all of a sudden.

Now kinda like Satan, at first Belphie’s response to this is to get angry right away. His face gradually lowers and he kinda towers over you like he’s trying to intimidate you and, if you remember what he did in another timeline, it kinda works to a degree.

“The hell did you just say to me? I killed you once, I’ll do it again if I wanted to.” He was hoping to catch you off guard and laugh at you once you got scared of him, but you were still just so mad at him, you were ready to call his bluff.

“YEAH?! BIG MAN?! GO ON! DO IT! GIVE LUCI ANOTHER REASON TO LOCK YOU IN THE F**KIN ATTIC!” you yelled, pushing him.

Okay, THAT was a scorcher tho! That knocked the damn wind out of him. He knew for a FACT, you would never bring him being in the attic into this, so he KNEW he had legit pissed you right off. He just kinda took a step back in surprise.

“Okay, damn…I wasn’t being serious.” He said, picking up his pillow and walking away, shaking his head slightly. “You humans are so sensitive at times.

Out of all the brothers, as surprised as he is by your outburst, he probably cares the least. You know how he is with Lucifer, so he’ll likely use this as a means to push your buttons too.

You don’t want to talk to him, but he will STILL give you a smarmy “Are you done being a child yet?” JUST to get on your nerves.

Beel can see that it’s not just putting a damper on your mood, but Belphie’s too, because as much as he wants to uphold how much of a smartass he is, he’s finding it harder to take naps knowing he upset you.

The twins talk it out and Belphie admits defeat, waiting til you’re alone in your room to go see you. He says nothing, comes in and sits on your bed, gesturing you sit beside him and resting his head on your lap.

“I’m sorry I kept pushing you…I didn’t realize how much I actually upset you and I’ll try not to sleep in as much if it’s for you..” he said softly.

You stroked his hair slowly and kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry I yelled at you..the attic thing was too far.” You said.

Belphie smiled and wrapped his arms around you, keeping you in place. “You can make it up to me by letting me sleep on you.

He did actually make better effort into showing up and it only cost more naps while holding you, so best make sure you don’t have anywhere to be for the next few hours. Belphie will lock you in place.

[ofgreyskull]

“ sometimes in the morning i am petrified & can't move awake, but cannot open my eyes & the weight is crushing down on my lungs, i know i can't breathe & hope someone will save me this time. “

adora she-ra | 23 | lesbian | bartender | just wants to be loved

  ─  the mirrors surrounding you did as they were meant to, reflecting back a spitting image of FLORENCE PUGH  -  but it’s clear something is wrong from the moment that a vision of PLANNING A BEST FRIENDS ROADTRIP TO RESTORE MAGIC TO THE UNIVERSE strikes you.  perhaps it was a passing daydream in the frenzy of the funhouse. you reassure yourself  -  you’re ADORA,  a TWENTY THREE YEAR OLD BARTENDER whose virtue lies in your + STRENGTH & + FEARLESSNESS, although you’ve been told that you tend to be quite - BLUNT & - SELF SACRFICING,  and you’re associated with THE SOUND OF A SWORD BEING DRAWN, THE SUN REFLECTING OFF WATER, AN ENDLESS STAR FILLED SKY by those around you.  suddenly,  however,  you’ve found THE SWORD OF PROTECTION on your person - was that always there? from the moment you leave the funhouse,  memories from your life in SHE-RA & THE PRINCESSES OF POWER have begun to return - leaving whoever you had been before in the mirror’s reflection behind you.  you can almost hear BETTER SON/DAUGHTER by RILO KILEY following in your wake.

canon ( full of spoilers so if you’d like to watch the show i wouldn’t read this part. i’m sorry it’s long, this is mostly for me to go back to if i forget something so really i won’t be offended if no one reads this part lmao )

grew up in the horde since an infant with catra, the two of them were raised by shadow weaver and were best friends.

it wasn’t a great childhood

was told how horrible the princesses were and they were the bad guys, they were always told they were a dangerous threat to etheria.

when she is older adora got promoted to force captain which she was extremely happy about.

the two of them sneak out and adora gets lost in the whispering woods. there she comes across the sword of protection and starts having visions when she touches it and it knocks her out.

her and catra return back to the fright zone but adora leaves again that night to go back to the sword.

there she meets bow and glimmer and they fight for the sword. neither of them trust her bc she’s a horde solider and adora ends up getting captured by them.

she learns from bow and glimmer how truly awful the horde is and how they destroy cities, lands, and hurt innocent people.

with the sword she transforms into she-ra ( and is v much horrified about it and the fact she’s a princess) that night when trying to fight off some robot bug.

she also discovers light hope that night too

bow and glimmer take adora to a village that later gets destroyed by the horde and catra appears driving one of the tanks that wrecked the village

adora tries explaining how horrible the horde actually is to catra, how they’ve been manipulated by shadow weaver and hordak their whole lives and tries convincing her to go with her and leave the horde together. catra says no and that begins the first heartbreak adora ever experienced. ( rip that really broke her heart )

the two of them then become enemies ( cue the ‘hey adora’ )

adora as she-ra also accidentally transformed a horse into a unicorn, he’s able to talk, fly, and they’re now linked and he is her steed. his name is swift wind.

adora is now part of the rebellion, lives in bright moon, and the best friend squad gets the princess alliance back together

for a while whenever her and catra would go against each other she would try to convince her to come with her

the fighting between the horde and the rebellion goes on for like two years i believe

still v upset and hurt about catra not being with her but tries not to show it

shadow weaver ends up joining the rebellion 

catra captures adora and wants to use her sword as the key to open the portal and she almost destroys etheria completely.

adora wakes up back at the horde with catra and with her memory completely wiped 

something doesn’t feel right to her and she’s losing track of time and her memories start coming back to her.

reality starts falling apart and adora is trying to reach the portal to close it and save everyone and etheria ( also she has to fight corrupted catra rip )

once she finds the portal she learns she has to sacrifice herself in order to close it and save everyone, but glimmer’s mom does it instead because the world needs she-ra. the portal closes, but adora blames herself for angella’s death

because of what catra did adora completely cuts off catra and stops trying to convince her to join her, not believing things can be the way they used to.

adora learns about the heart of etheria project.

adora tries to stop the heart of etheria activation but glimmer want to activate it thinking it will help them defeat the horde she helps scorpia activate her runsestone. adora goes to light hope to confront her about it around the same time and light hope uses she-ra to begin activating it.

adora learns she’s not from etheria, but instead from eternia, she’s a first one and was sent through a portal as a baby by light hope to become she-ra and complete the heart of etheria project

once the planet is balanced light hope portals etheria out of despondos and back into the wider universe. this also means horde prime and his army can arrive.

adora as she-ra is able to fight the activation process and deactivates it, but in the process breaks the sword of power and believes she isn’t able to transform into she-ra anymore.

adora now has to relearn how to fight without she-ra like back when she was in the horde but it’s extremely difficult and she didn’t realize jsut how much she has come to rely on her power.

horde prime’s army begins attacking etheria, they also have captured glimmer and catra.

adora, bow, and entrapta go in the ship to rescue glimmer from horde prime’s ship.

while in space they receive a message from catra telling them she’s going to send glimmer to them and warns her not to come to horde prime’s ship that it’s a trap for her. catra apologizes to adora before sending glimmer her way.

adora becomes intensely worried for catra and doesn’t want to lose her and realizes just how deeply she’s in love with her.

their ship runs out of fuel and they stop at a planet that has the crystals they need for fuel. once there adora uses her inhuman strength as she used to when she was able to turn into she-ra to stop a rock from crashing down and realizes she still has power within her.

they go to horde prime to save catra.

once in horde prime’s ship that’s when she discovers her under horde prime’s mind control. 

after being surrounded by horde prime’s clones adora is desperate to save catra and get them both out of there. she ends up being able to transform into she-ra and manifest a new sword.

she fights off the clones with catra unconscious in her arms and they return back to the ship.  

once she instructs the ship to go home she goes over to catra and lifts her in her arms and heals her and she can’t stop worrying and checking up on catra the whole way home.

the two of them are back to being close and flirting with each other and it’s so obvious to the ppl around them how much they love each other.

once home they realize just how long they’ve been gone bc most of etheria is under horde prime’s mind control ( including some of the princesses ) and is being taken over with his clones.

shadow weaver comes up with a plan for adora to save the planet, despite it being incredibly dangerous and having to sacrifice herself adora agrees to it much to catra’s dislike. but adora will do anything to save people even if it means getting hurt or dying.

adora accepts the heart’s fail safe and bonds it to her soul to carry it to the heart to etheria

catra ends up leaving in the middle of the night not wanting to watch adora sacrifice herself, but adora catches her and begs her to stay that she needs her. catra leaves and adora cries out for her ( my girl is heartbroken again )

adora heads to the heart of etheria to use the fail safe once there she’s bombarded with visions of her past self  along with horde prime getting into her head and sending a monster for her to fight.

adora is wounded by the monster and cannot fight and can barely walk. catra appears and helps adora by trying to take out the monster. shadow weaver appears as well to help adora get to the heart.

they make it to the heart but adora hears catra scream and goes back to try to save her.

shadow weaver steps in to fight the monster herself and seals the opening for catra and adora to not come through. they have to stand back and watch as she sacrifices herself for them.  

they go to the heart together

she is unable to transform into she-ra bc of horde prime’s virus and tries to convince catra to leave so she can do this on her own, not wanting catra to watch her die. catra ends up staying with her while she uses the fail safe.

adora become unconscious and is on the verge of dying. during this she has a vision of her wish it’s her’s and catra’s future where they’re married. the vision is then interrupted by horde prime.  

she’s dying and while unconscious she hears and sees catra and tries fighting to stay alive, it isn’t until catra tells her she loves her that she’s able to succeed in staying alive.

she wakes up in catra’s arms and tells her she loves her too AND THEY KISS

the failsafe works and saves the planet right before her friends and etheria is about to be destroyed

adora as she-ra appears where horde prime is and destroys his ship and heals the planet, as well as gets rid of horde prime for good.

the best friend squad ( which now includes catra ) agree on going on another mission to bring back magic to the universe

in alucard

   growing up in alucard wasn’t easy for adora, she was in the foster care system since she was a baby and knows nothing about her parents or why they gave her up. she remained in a group home with other kids in the system, watching as some of the kids she became friends with got adopted into families while she remained in the home. the home was strict and adora is a stickler for rules so she always did what was told of her, she became a ‘favorite’ to the house parents. because of that she never got in trouble/punished when she occasionally broke a rule or two with the other kids. instead she would get numerous lectures about how much better she was than the others, how she shouldn’t follow them, and what great things she could do if she keeps listening to the house parents. adora didn’t understand it at them time, what they meant or why she was the favorite, but she did like attention and the feeling of a ‘parent’ looking out for her. she didn’t realize until she was older that the house parents were grooming her to be exactly who they wanted her to be. adora herself never knew what she wanted to be or who she truly was because she always followed what the house parents told her to be, always did what was told of her. all she wanted was to be loved.

   after her eighteenth birthday she was out of the system, her house parents urged her to join the military. they told her it would be perfect for her because of how strong and how immaculate of a fighter she is. the more adora thought about it the more she realized she didn’t want that for herself, she didn’t want to hurt people. that was when adora made her first choice for herself, she decided to leave the home and begin her life without the influence of her house parents. she jumped from job to job for a few years, trying to make any money she could to be able to afford a place to live. she finally settled on being a bartender, even though it’s not the job she had dreamed for herself she gets paid well and it’s enough until she figures out what she’s good for. 

powers/abilites

transformation - is able to transform into she-ra and is able to transform the sword into various objects

superhuman strength

superhuman agility

healing powers

animal transformation

energy blast

aura generation

animal magic

sword summoning

space survival

expert at hand to hand combat

weaknesses

the data disk - a first one’s tech that is able to corrupt and control any other first ones tech that comes into contact with it or whatever it controls. when the sword is infected with it  while adora is she-ra she enters a violent, berserk rage. she incapable to telling who is a friend or an enemy and goes after anyone/anything in sight. take the sword away from her and destroying the disk is the only way to stop the corruption. once the sword is taken adora falls into an inebriated state and she doesn’t remember what happened.

unclear mind - when her mind is unfocused or full of doubt she can’t transform into she-ra

traits/personality

brave

loyal

indomitable will

a leader

stubborn

competitive

rule follower

needs a plan for everything

connections

catra: ex-girlfriend, ended on bad terms, but still loves her 

hmu on discord if you wanna plot !! 

[deliasbabe]

What Might Have Been- Cordelia Goode x OC

An AU in which Cordelia and Hank got together during college and had a baby (Elliott). This is an old fic taken from my AO3, but I figured you guys might enjoy it!

Warnings: None

“Elliott?” Cordelia yelled down the stairs of the academy, pausing after to listen for her 2-year old’s incessant giggles, a tell-tale sign that she had decided to play an impromptu game of hide and seek. The older witch blamed her mother for teaching her the game. Cordelia had made the mistake of letting her babysit the child once and that was Fiona’s way of getting the girl out of her hair, telling her to go hide then leaving her until the younger witch returned, then finally finding her.         

Truthfully the game was a lot easier to play in their studio apartment, there were only so many places the girl could hide, but in the academy the possibilities were endless. The new teacher had never expected to come back to the academy, at least not in this capacity. But, since Cordelia was jobless and newly single, she decided to take Myrtle up on her offer to teach some of the classes, at least until she figured out what she was going to do with her life. Luckily the girls wouldn’t be returning to the school for a few weeks, so the witch had time for her and Elliott to settle in while Myrtle was on a council trip, one Fiona was unsurprisingly not attending.         

“Elle? Come out love.” Cordelia tried again, moving through the living room slowly. It wasn’t like Cordelia had left the napping toddler alone for all that long, she was gone for maybe ten minutes. But Elliott was a particularly difficult child to keep track of, especially since she started walking. Maybe it was universe’s payback for her being so easy as a baby. She hardly ever cried, she mostly slept through the night, and she was always happy and giggling, which Cordelia appreciated while she was still in classes. Now, she was naturally curious, and always seemed to keep Cordelia on her toes, somehow always getting into trouble.         

“Elliott, this isn’t funny.” Cordelia said sternly, trying to use her best mom voice. It was especially difficult for the witch to be angry with her daughter, even when she probably deserved it. Cordelia had been warned about the terrible two’s, the endless tantrums and tears, but Elliott seemed to skip that all together. She hardly ever cried, except when she was hurt or scared. She was polite and kind and caring and everything Cordelia had hoped she would be, her only downfall being her inability to sit still.         

Cordelia strolled through the living room and into the kitchen, once again listening for her daughter’s signature giggles, but all she was met with was silence. She looked under the tables and chairs quickly before turning her attention to the cabinets, noticing the slightly ajar back door out of her peripheral vision, causing a deep panic to settle into her bones. I forgot to lock the door. She quickly abandoned the idea of searching the cabinets and ran outside, frantically whipping her head around in search of her daughter. She couldn’t have gotten very far. Elliott may have been hard to keep still, but she was also easily distracted, Cordelia’s one saving grace. She had gotten out of her sight outside only once before, when they were at the park, only for Cordelia to find her 15 minutes later sitting on the grass and blowing on dandelions in the outfield of the school’s baseball diamond next door.         

But here, they were a little too close to the road for Cordelia’s comfort, not to mention the forest behind them and the multitude of neighbors they had that Cordelia had yet to meet. She quickly scanned the tree line until her eyes landed on the greenhouse, the door she had definitely closed when she walked around earlier with Elliott now wide open. She moved quickly towards it, making sure to look behind her to scan the road for any immediate signs of her daughter, then let out a sigh of relief when she heard the young girl mindlessly humming to the tune of an NSYNC song she was obsessed with. “Elliott Foxx!” Cordelia said sternly, walking in the doorway with her arms crossed, spotting her daughter standing on a table next to some plants, her expression shifting from anger to confusion as her daughter looked at her and smiled widely, “How did you get up there?”         

Elliott just smiled and giggled at her and the mother’s angry demeanor quickly dissolved, she never could stay mad at her for long. “Mama, look!” Elliott giggled as she jumped up and down, completely oblivious to the fact that her mother was angry, teetering a little too close to the edge of the table for Cordelia’s comfort.         

“Sit on your bottom, love.” Cordelia said, soft but stern, walking over to the table as she calmed her racing heart. Elliott immediately complied, dropping onto her butt as the whole table wobbled from the force, startling Cordelia at first but then making her laugh lightly, leaning forward to drop a kiss into her daughter’s slightly curly blonde hair, “Now, what are we looking at?”        

 Elliott grinned up at her mother briefly, making Cordelia’s heart melt, before crawling over closer to the plants, pointing at one that was newly blossomed, “Pretty.”         

Cordelia smiled softly, “Yes, very pretty.” Elliott giggled, a sound that had quickly become one of Cordelia’s favorite sounds in the world, then reached quickly to grab one of the flowers. “Careful, baby.”        

 “Gentle.” Elliott whispered, looking back at her mother and nodding before softly touching the petals while Cordelia marveled over her daughter. It was amazing how much she was changing every single day. When she was first born she looked exactly like Hank, however as she got older, the more she resembled Cordelia, especially her big, round eyes, although hers were an icy blue as opposed to Cordelia’s warm brown ones. She really was a beautiful child, although Cordelia did have to say she was a little biased. She was tiny for her age, so tiny doctors were initially concerned, but Cordelia was also rather small when she was a child, and her big personality more than made up for it. Small but mighty, as Mel would say, and she was mighty.Cordelia was drawn out of her musings by Elliott looking back at her, her eyebrows creased with curiosity, her head cocked to the side as she thought of how to ask the question. “Name?” She asked softly, making Cordelia smile. This had become a habit between the two of them, Elliott asking Cordelia questions as if her mother knew the answer to everything in the world.        

 “Peony.” Cordelia said simply, Elliott nodding as if she actually understood and repeating her mother’s words, butchering them in the cutest way possible, then starting to hum that song again. Cordelia took a moment to take in the place she was once so fond of, a wave of nostalgia washing over her as she walked around. It was less than a decade ago she was out here with Myrtle, learning about all the plants her true mother was so fond of, and now there she was with her own daughter, a sort of full circle event.         

“Mama?” Elliott asked, turning to face Cordelia, the only person she would ever refer to by name. It used to drive Hank nuts, she would never refer to him as “Dad” or “Daddy” or really anything at all, she barely would even speak to him, which only added to the fights he and Cordelia would get into. Elliott and Hank had never really bonded, at least not in the same way Cordelia and her had. Cordelia tried to blame it on the fact he was hardly ever around, always on some work trip or hanging out with his friends, but in truth Elliott just didn’t like him, she had shown it from an early age. Once the two had officially split, they tried their best to co-parent, but Elliott would always cry whenever he was alone with her, and whenever they were all together all they did was fight, so eventually he just stopped showing up. It upset Cordelia more than it did Elliott. She didn’t even notice he was gone; her world just went on.         

“Hmm?” Cordelia hummed, turning to face her daughter and smiling at her, getting a wide smile back. Elliott was always smiling when she was around Cordelia, something everyone had noticed.         

“What this?” Elliott said, picking up a glass flask and holding it shakily in her tiny hands.         

“That is not for you to touch.” Cordelia said teasingly, walking over and grabbing it from her daughter’s hands, making her frown a bit. Cordelia quickly set the flask down just out of her daughter’s reach and tapped her nose, making her frowning face break out into giggles. “Just trying to keep you safe, bug.” She said softly, smiling at her child and getting a smile in return, “We use that to make potions, but it isn’t for you to play with.”        

 Elliott nodded slightly then glanced around, bouncing up and down as she looked for something else to play with. “We need to talk though love, you can’t leave the house and go outside when I’m not with you, not even here.” Cordelia said, her daughter staring back at her with her head cocked to the side.         

“Why?” Elliott asked, her favorite question as of late.

“Because it isn’t safe, baby. You’re too little to be wandering around on your own. You could get hurt or get lost. I need to know where you are, bug. I can’t lose you, you really scared me.” Cordelia said softly, her daughter’s eyes going wide before hanging her head.

“I sorry mama. Won’t do it.” Elliott said quietly, Cordelia trying to keep the smile off her face at her daughter’s fumbling words.

“It’s ok, just don’t do it again. Alright?” Cordelia said, her daughter nodding, still with her head down. “Oh, come here.” She said, picking Elliott up and pulling her into a hug, the young girl wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck and crossing her legs at the small of her back, “I love you, baby. More than anything. You know that right?”

Elliott nodded into her neck as Cordelia kissed her head, “Love you, Mama.” She quickly picked her head up and looked around, suddenly wiggling in her mother’s arms. “Book!” She said loudly, making Cordelia turn around and stare at the books on the shelf.

“You want to read?” Cordelia asked, Elliott nodding rapidly, “Ok, let’s go inside and we’ll get your books.”

“No, stay!” Elliott insisted, pointing to the books once again, “Book!”

Cordelia smiled and rolled her eyes as she set her child back down on the table, her stubborn streak showing once again. Once her mind was made up about something she didn’t stop until she got her way. Cordelia could distract her, temporarily that was, but the mother knew if she didn’t let her look at the books now she would just find a way to get to them later. It was easier to indulge her daughter’s curious mind, even if she really couldn’t understand the books anyways. She stared at the familiar texts, remembering the contents of each one before she set her sights on an encyclopedia of plants, at least that one included pictures. She grabbed the book and turned back to her daughter, who had once again stood up on the table and was toddling back towards the plants on the other side, the table wobbling with every step. “Elliott,” Cordelia said sternly, causing her daughter to look back at her with wide eyes, “What did I say?” Elliott cocked her head to the side, a confused look overtaking her features. She always was a very expressive child, which Cordelia appreciated since her communication skills were sometimes lacking. “On your butt, love.” Cordelia said, walking over to the girl and picking her up, then setting her down so she was sitting, opening the book beside her. Elliott focused immediately on the book, leaning towards it on her hands, Cordelia smiling down at her.

It was rare to have something capture Elliott’s attention completely, at least not for long periods of time. She never really liked tv or cartoons, Cordelia tried to sit her down in the mornings so she could get some work done, but she would sit there a total of five minutes before she was looking for her mother once again. Her toys were hit and miss, some days she would play with them for hours, most times she couldn’t be bothered, especially when she was playing alone. But books were the one thing Cordelia could count on to keep her child entertained, she would look at books all day if she could, even when Cordelia wasn’t reading them to her.

Elliott flipped through the pages and looked over the pictures, occasionally looking up at her mother and pointing to one, waiting for the older witch to tell her what it was, then giggling after. While the young girl “read”, Cordelia went to work on watering and taking care of the plants, pruning the ones that were a bit overgrown. After a few minutes the witch noticed Elliott had shifted her position, sitting up and staring at her mother while she worked, completely mesmerized.

After a few moments of Elliott’s intense gaze, Cordelia glanced up at her child and pulled a funny face, making Elliott break out in giggles. Cordelia never was one to like being the center of attention, she had always shied away from people’s stares and really any kind of attention at all, except when it came to her daughter. Elliott loved Cordelia, more than anything, and it showed when she stared at her mother like she was the center of the universe, like she was magic. No one looked at Cordelia the way Elliott did, and Cordelia loved it. It was the two of them against the world, always.         

As hard as being a single parent was, Cordelia found she actually enjoyed it, definitely a lot more than she enjoyed parenting with Hank. Delia didn’t want to share Elliott, not with anyone.  Eventually the day would come when Cordelia found someone else, and maybe then she would be more open to sharing, but not now. Right now she got all the cuddles, all the laughs and kisses, everything, and she lived for it. The older woman had gone so long feeling like she was worthless, like she didn’t matter, but Elliott had been her blessing in disguise. Suddenly she mattered to someone, and that was more than enough for her.         

“What are you looking at?” Cordelia playfully said to her daughter, causing the girl to grin wildly, which just made Cordelia smile and kiss her forehead, laughing into her hair. Elliott looked up at her lovingly, her eyes wide and adoring, before Cordelia went back to her work, smiling when her daughter started humming once again.         

After a few moments Cordelia heard, “Mama?” looking over to see her daughter looking behind her mother, her head cocked to the side, “Music?”         

Cordelia turned around, spotting the boom box on the bench, laughing a little and nodding to her daughter, then walking over and switching the machine on, tuning it until she found a station with a strong signal. Elliott loved music, it didn’t matter what kind it was. She always was singing and dancing along, even when she didn’t know what the words were. She bounced up and down on her butt before standing on the table, swaying back and forth as Cordelia ran to grab her. “No, no, little one.” She said, picking up the girl, “If you want to dance you’re going to do it on the floor. This isn’t Coyote Ugly.” Cordelia set the girl on the floor and smiled as she twirled and bopped along to the beat, although it was actually very off beat.         

“Dance mama!” Elliott said while giggling, Cordelia just shaking her head.

“I think I’ll leave that to you, bug.” She responded, staring at the girl a little longer before refocusing on her work.         

A half hour passed and Elliott was still dancing, showing no signs of slowing down, despite missing her afternoon nap. “Mama, look” Elliott giggled, twirling as her mother looked on, knocking herself off balance and right into the table behind her, sending a pot falling, which Cordelia magically shifted the direction of so it didn’t fall on the young girl.         

“Baby,” Cordelia said, running towards the girl on the ground and kneeling, “Are you ok? Did it get you?” Elliott shook her head slightly, staring at the floor. Cordelia gently grabbed the girls face and forced her to look up to make sure she was ok, seeing her daughter’s pouty lip and terrified eyes, barely keeping her tears from spilling over. Elliott hated crying. She did everything she could not to, even when she probably should, which was a drastic difference from Cordelia, who was practically a walking water fountain. Elliott reached for her with her tiny arms and the witch quickly scooped her up, settling the girl on her hip as she ran her free hand up and down the girls back soothingly, kissing her head. “It’s ok… you’re ok.” She soothed, rocking back and forth slightly.

Once Elliott was slightly less shaken up, Cordelia tried to finish the tasks she had started, still holding onto the girl. It was difficult only working with one hand, but Cordelia didn’t mind, she loved having her daughter so close to her, the girls head on her shoulder just watching her. She felt the young girls body start to relax, the arms wound around her neck loosening their grip, and when she finally finished she glanced down to see Elliott fast asleep. Really, she wasn’t surprised. Elliott only ever really slept when she was either in her mother’s arms or lying right next to her, which is why nap time had become increasingly difficult. When Cordelia was in school it was easy to sit on the bed next to her and work, but now she had an office she had to work in, and Elliott wasn’t adjusting well to that.         

Cordelia smiled at the girl then slowly wandered inside, moving around the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “I see you’ve settled in well.” She heard a familiar voice say behind her, making her jump before she whipped around, coming face to face with her mother.         

“How the hell did you get in here?” She said, barely hiding her distain.         

“Front door was unlocked.” Fiona said with a smirk.         

“No, it wasn’t.” Cordelia shot back, throwing her mother a searing glare.         

“Every door is unlocked when you’re the supreme.” Fiona said, smiling.         

“What are you doing here mother?” Cordelia asked, “Aren’t you supposed to be in Italy or something?”         

“Thought you could use the company. It’s quiet around here, don’t you think?” Fiona said, eyeing her daughter as she struggled to fill her glass, “You could put her down you know.”         

“If I put her down she’ll wake up and you know that.” Cordelia spat back.         

“Ah, I see. So holding her is easier than dealing with her. Maybe you are a lot like me after all.” Fiona said with a smirk, watching her daughter tense at the comment.         

“No, she missed her nap earlier. She needs the sleep.” Cordelia said, “Now are you here for a reason or just to bug me?”         

“Do I need a reason to visit with my daughter and granddaughter?” Fiona said with a smirk as Cordelia rolled her eyes, “I came to see Myrtle, but it looks like she isn’t here. Pitty.”         

“You know she isn’t here, she’s at a council meeting. One you are supposed to be at. You know you actually have a job, right?” Cordelia said.

“I’ll go when there’s actually something important for me to deal with. They don’t want me there anyways. We all know dear Myrtle loves taking on roles that aren’t hers.” Fiona said condescendingly.         

“More like taking on ones you’ve neglected.” Cordelia spat back, Fiona rolling her eyes.         

“Are you going to invite me in or are you just going to leave a guest standing in your kitchen?” Fiona said.         

“You aren’t a guest.” Cordelia said, but moved to the living room regardless, Elliott still asleep on her lap. Fiona smiled at the girl briefly, they had always had a strange relationship. Fiona acted like she didn’t like the child or really care for her at all, yet her visits had been more frequent since Elliott was born, showing up at random times seemingly without reason, much to Cordelia’s dismay. “How did you even know I was here?”         

“Your life isn’t as big of a mystery to me as you think it is, Delia. I am still the head of this coven, whether you like it or not. I know what goes on. I mean, what else were you going to do? You have an English degree for Christ’s sake. You might as well have skipped college all together. Would have saved you time and money.” Fiona snarked, making Cordelia roll her eyes.         

“I’m doing just fine, thank you. Where is your new husband? Andrew, is it? Sorry, it’s hard to keep track.” Cordelia said sarcastically, Fiona dismissing her with a wave.        

 “Oh, he’s gone. Good riddance, he was driving me mad.” She said, lighting up a cigarette.        

 “What do you mean gone?” Cordelia asked suspiciously. Fiona had a habit of marrying wealthy men, only for them to disappear a few months later without a trace, leaving all their money to her, of course.         

Fiona smirked, “Does it matter?”         

Cordelia felt Elliott start to stir in her lap, obviously disturbed from her nap by the noise, and Delia ran her hand up and down the girls back, willing her to sleep for even a few more minutes. It seemed to work, the girl just leaned back into her mother, which made Cordelia smile down at her briefly, before remembering she was having a conversation with her mother, which brought a scowl once again. “Where is Hank?” Fiona asked, eyeing the young girl.         

“Gone.” Cordelia snapped, throwing her mother a glare. She hadn’t told her they split up, or really anything about her life, but it was bound to come up eventually.         

“What do you mean gone?” Fiona snarked.         

“Does it matter?” Cordelia said condescendingly, Fiona shooting her a look, “I mean he’s gone. We broke up.” Fiona smiled and let out a laugh, “Don’t look so pleased.”         

“Is he completely gone or will I still see him at birthday parties and Christmas?” Fiona asked.         

“You don’t even come to birthday parties or Christmas. I don’t think we’ve actually spent one holiday together.” Cordelia said, tired of the conversation.         

“You didn’t answer the question.” Fiona stated.         

“You never answer any of mine.” Cordelia said, “He’s gone, mother. What do you want me to say? That you were right?”         

“You didn’t have to tell me I was right, I already knew. He was a snake; you are better off without him.” Fiona said, Cordelia rolling her eyes once again. “I told you that you should have given her up for adoption. Avoided this whole mess.”         

“And I’m glad I didn’t, regardless of how it turned out. I don’t need him.” Cordelia spat.         

“She would have had a family.” Fiona argued.         

“She has a family.” Cordelia said vehemently.         

“She has a working, single mother. That isn’t a family. That’s a disaster waiting to happen. You should have known better, since you despise me so much.” Fiona said.         

“She will be fine. Believe me, your marital status and job wasn’t what made me hate you.” Cordelia argued, “You weren’t there. I will be, there’s a difference.”         

Cordelia felt the girl in her arms shift once again, looking down to see two blue eyes slowly open. She ran her hand up and down Elliott’s back and the girl rubbed the sleep from her eyes, looking around until she spotted Fiona, then leaning back into her mother. “Look who decided to join the party.” Fiona said, eyeing the girl, “Sleep well, princess?”         

Elliott cocked her head to the side, not understanding the question, before looking up at her mother, who just held her tighter. She sat quietly for a moment while the two women continued to bicker, not about her of course, they never did that in front of her, but about everything else. Eventually, she started to wriggle out of her mother’s grasp and off the couch, standing on her shaky legs and looking between the two women for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed, before she made her way up the stairs. “Where is she going?” Fiona asked, Cordelia shaking her head.         

“I don’t know.” She said, keeping her eyes on the stairs for a few lingering moments, “She’ll be fine.”         

The two tried to keep the conversation calm, but that only lasted for a few moments before they were practically at each other’s throats once again. They rarely shouted at each other, their fights always took on a more passive aggressive tone, and that day was no exception. They bickered until they heard little footsteps on the stairs, turning to look at the small girl as she wobbled her way down slowly, her arms full of stuffed animals, which caused Cordelia to smile.

Once Elliott got to the bottom of the stairs she dropped the heap of animals in her arms, staring at the women for a few moments before searching through the pile, pulling out her favorite two, a bunny that she slept with, and a dragon. She waddled over and stared at the women again, confused by the silence, before shaking her head and wandering over to Cordelia, handing her the stuffed bunny. The gesture didn’t go unnoticed by the woman, the bunny was the stuffed animal she always reached for when she was upset, and she was very in tune with Cordelia’s emotions. The older woman smiled and thanked her, getting a shy smile back, before the girl wandered over to Fiona and handed her the dragon, which just made Cordelia laugh. “What? I get one too?” Fiona asked, smirking at the girl, “Why are you laughing?”

“Because she thinks you are a fire breathing dragon, mother.” Cordelia said, Fiona rolling her eyes.

“Good. At least she knows who’s in charge.” She said sarcastically.

Later, Cordelia was giving Elliott a bath after her mother had made her exit, Elliott splashing around the tub as Cordelia watched, smiling softly at her child. “Mama, look!” Elliott laughed. “Bubbles!”  she said, holding out a handful before blowing them back into the water, giggling. Bath time had always been sacred to Cordelia, she hadn’t missed one since Elliott was born. Hank never wanted to do it, he always had more important things to do, so really it fell on Cordelia or the babysitter. Cordelia never had the babysitter do it, if it was bath night the woman’s friends all knew she wouldn’t go out, so they didn’t even bother to ask.

It was the most serene part of the witch’s day, watching her daughter splash and play, not bothering to care about the heaps of water she spilled onto the tile floor. It was pure, and Cordelia knew she had to savor every moment she had right now. Elliott was growing up right before her eyes, it was like just yesterday she was an infant. Soon she would be a teenager and not want anything to do with Cordelia, much like Cordelia wanted nothing to do with her own mother. It was strange to think one day it wouldn’t just be Cordelia and Elliott anymore, that their world would ever be bigger than just the two of them.

Eventually, Cordelia saw her daughter’s eyes start to droop, a sign she was ready to get out and go to bed. She wrapped the girl in her yellow ducky towel, pulling the hood of it over Elliott’s head as she picked the girl up and held her close, Elliott resting her tired head on Cordelia’s shoulder as the woman dropped a kiss into her wet hair. The two headed into the witch’s bedroom and put a fresh diaper on the small girl, knowing if she tried to put pajamas on the girl she would just take them off, she really hated sleeping in clothes. Really, it was Cordelia’s fault in the first place. Elliott never slept in clothes when she was a baby, as a way to limit the cost when she was broke and still in school. Once she was in a better position financially she tried to get Elliott used to it, but all it really resulted in was a fussy toddler and sleepless nights, so eventually she just scrapped the idea all together.

Cordelia headed downstairs to the living room, turning on the tv just as she heard a knock on the door, a look of confusion crossing her features. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and she briefly groaned at the idea that her mother had returned for a second round. Still, the grabbed a diaper clad Elliott and walked to the front door, swinging it open to see her best friend Mel standing there with wine bottles in both of her hands. “I thought you were in Paris?” Cordelia said, surprised but still pleased. It had been months since she had seen the talented witch.

“Eh, it was lame so I headed back early. Myrtle told me you were coming back to the coven so of course I had to check in and make sure you haven’t lost your damn mind.” Mel teased. “Aw, look at the little angel.” She cooed, Cordelia smiling at her daughter as she ran a hand down her back, “She’s gotten so big! Jesus I can never leave for that long again, my goddaughter is a whole new person.”

“The last time you saw her she was barely walking, now I can’t keep up with her.” Cordelia joked, inviting the other witch inside.

“This place still looks the exact fucking same. God, will Myrtle ever redecorate?” Mel teased, “And you look as hot as ever. How the fuck are you still single?”

“It’s a choice.” Cordelia snickered, “And even if it wasn’t, I don’t know many guys in their 20’s who would want to have to work their dating life around a 2-year-old’s schedule.”

“Delia, please. She’s a literal angel, and she’s fucking adorable. Take her to Paris, they love MILF’s, and you definitely are one.” Mel said, shaking her head as she poured a glass of red, then white for Cordelia.

“I am not.” Cordelia said, blushing. Mel had always been very blunt and borderline crude, which was the exact opposite of Cordelia. They had been roommates at the school, and as different as they were they had always gotten along impeccably, much to everyone’s surprise.  Mel was a free spirit, never staying in one place for too long, never getting serious with anyone, it just wasn’t her. “You came at the perfect time,” Cordelia said, “My mother showed up earlier.”

“Of course she did.” Mel said, rolling her eyes, “And I’m assuming she gave you loads of shit.”

“I had to tell her about Hank, so a load of shit would be a drastic understatement.” Cordelia said, taking a sip of wine as Elliott reached for the glass, “No, love. You can’t have this.”

“Let her have some, she can party with us.” Mel teased, Cordelia throwing her a look.

“I’m not giving my toddler wine, Mel.” She said seriously.

“Why not? My mom gave me wine and I turned out just fine.” Mel said defensively.

“Mel, your mother was an alcoholic.” Cordelia shot back, “And I wouldn’t say you turned out just fine. Last time I talked to you, you had hooked up with over a dozen men in the week you had been in France.”

“Men and women.” Mel said lazily, shooting Cordelia a smirk, “And you say that like it’s a bad thing. One of us has to get laid.”

“So where are you off to next?” Cordelia asked, knowing Mel never stayed around for long, “Germany?”

“California.” Mel said, Cordelia looking shocked.

“You’re staying in this country this time?” Cordelia asked, “Why?”

“I’m staying long term, or at least as long as I can stand it.” Mel said, “I got into grad school at UCLA.”

“Why there?” Cordelia asked, knowing Mel was looking at schools abroad.

“That’s the one that would take me.” Mel said with a chuckle.

“No really, why?” Cordelia asked, knowing Mel would have gotten into a hundred different schools.

Mel threw her a look, “You know why.”

“Mel,” Cordelia said seriously, “I thought you were done with him.”

“I was.” Mel said, “Until he told me he left his wife. I can go to school there and have everything paid for. Not to mention the house is to die for.”

“So he’s paying for you to be with him?” Cordelia said, stunned, “Mel, he’s 30 years older than you. He has kids who are literally older than you.”

“It’s not that serious. He just needs me to look hot for his work events. Other than that, I can do as I please.” Mel said, “Now would you hand over my goddaughter? I haven’t seen her in MONTHS.”

Cordelia glanced down at Elliott, who was sitting quietly on her lap and taking everything in with wide eyes. “Do you want to go see Aunt Mel?” She asked, setting the girl down and motioning toward the woman, “Go on, you love Aunt Mel.” Elliott looked hesitantly at her mother, who just motioned again, before she slowly toddled over to the other woman, who quickly scooped her up and tickled her sides, making the girl laugh. “Don’t rile her up again. I still need her to sleep tonight.” Cordelia warned.

“Come on, little squirt can stay up with us. Right?” Mel asked, Elliott biting her lip and nodding furiously. She didn’t actually understand the question, but she did know enough to nod when appropriate. Cordelia smiled as Mel went to take a sip of wine, Elliott once again reaching for the glass. “Not today little chicken.” Mel said, shifting the glass out of the girl’s reach, “I don’t need your mother killing me.”

“That’s my fault.” Cordelia said, “I let her share with me all the time. She thinks she can do it to everyone.”

“She can because she’s so cute. She can have anything she wants.” Mel said, smiling at the girl.

“Don’t tell her that. I already have my hands full.” Cordelia said.

“How is she doing?” Mel asked, Cordelia smiling softly.

“She’s great. She’s a big fan of books, not so much anything else.” Cordelia said with a chuckle, “She’s a little behind in her speech still, she just doesn’t really like talking.”

“She’s more of a thinker. That isn’t a bad thing.” Mel said, “She’s tiny for her age.”

“She is.” Cordelia said, nodding, “The doctor isn’t worried, everything else is normal. She just won’t grow.”

“And I can see she still isn’t potty trained.” Mel joked.

“That would require her to stop running around, which she isn’t a fan of.” Cordelia joked back.

“She’s all about convenience.” Mel teased, “Have you heard from him?”

Cordelia shook her head, “I stopped trying. I let him know we moved in case he wants to see her, but I doubt he’ll show up.” Mel nodded sympathetically, “I just don’t get it. He was the one who pushed so hard for this. He wanted this, and then he just disappeared.”

“Well, it’s one thing to say it in theory, it’s another when she’s actually here. He just couldn’t handle it.” Mel said, “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” Cordelia said, “I’m handling it, at least as best as I can. Fiona showed up basically just to remind me how much of a failure I am, which only got worse when I told her he was gone because she deserves to have two parents.”

“Fuck Fiona.” Mel said brashly, making Cordelia smile, “She was a shitty parent, she doesn’t know anything. You gave up your whole life for that little girl, which is more than she ever did. Elliott is going to know that.”

“I don’t want her to know that.” Cordelia said, “I want her to know I cared, but I don’t want her to ever feel guilty for the choices I made. That’s on me.”

“I’m not saying she’s going to be reminded daily, Delia. I’m saying when she grows up she’s going to know you gave it everything you had.” Mel explained, “She’s a smart kid.”

Elliott shifted and removed herself from Mel’s lap, walking back across the room and holding her arms up to her mother, who quickly picked her up and sat the girl facing her chest, Elliott relaxing into her as Cordelia ran her hand soothingly on her back. “She’s tired.” Cordelia said softly, dropping a kiss into her hair.

“Why don’t you go put her down? I’ll be here.” Mel offered, Cordelia shaking her head.

“She won’t sleep unless I’m right there.” Cordelia said, Mel throwing her a doubtful look, “I’m not kidding. If I put her down she will walk right back out her and crawl onto my lap.”

Mel smiled softly, “Because you’re her home. She knows she’s safe as long as you are around.”

[halothenthehorns]

THE POLYJUICE POTION

Lily snorted in disbelief, asking, "why is that an accomplishment?"

"It's a great honour to do something so bad you get sent to see the headmaster," Remus said with glee.

"Right," Lily rolled her eyes.

Harry remembered them having mentioned being sent to Dumbledore's office before, and asked, "why did you guys blow up a school corridor?"

"That was an accident," Sirius said, smiling brightly. "We were trying to set up a trap for a Slytherin, and this Ravenclaw kid came in and blew the whole thing early. If we'd been allowed

to set it up right, it would have just blew the Slytherin's clothes off of him."

"He was okay," Remus said quickly at the looks on both Harry and Lily's faces. "Just had to spend two days in the hospital wing because his clothes wouldn't come off. They fixed up that

hole pretty fast as well."

"I'm sorry you asked Harry," Lily sighed, "I'm much happier not knowing half the things these four came up with."

Harry didn't hear his mom that time, he was too busy chuckling at their antics. James gave his wife a superior grin, like 'ha he takes after me' before reading smugly.

Of all the offices Harry had been in this year, this one was certainly the most interesting to look at.

"You've only been to three," James scoffed, "we got sent to all of them by our third year!"

"You sound so proud," Lily snorted.

"I'm agreeing with Harry though," Remus said, "Dumbledore's is the best."

Harry knew if the fear of being thrown out was lingering over him, he'd probably want to go have a look around.

"And that would have been depressing, if I knew it wasn't true," Sirius said brightly.

The place was large and circular, and on a table to the right were a bunch of jumbled objects that let out different colours of smoke.

"What do those do?" Harry asked.

"I've no idea," James said, smiling as he remembered some of those instruments, and having to fight back the urge to go have a poke at them when he'd been up there himself, "we didn't stay

long enough to ask."

On the walls were old headmasters in magical paintings, and on top of a shelf was the sorting hat. Harry was sorely tempted to go over and put it on again.

"Now that's interesting," Lily said, going a little wide eyed, "I've never known anyone to put the hat on twice."

"You think it'll reshout out a house?" Sirius asked, grinning at his own stupid question.

James read on, curious himself what the hat would say.

Curiosity won out as he went over and placed it on his head. The little voice appeared in his ear again, and Harry began to ask a question, which the hat interrupted by correctly saying Harry had been wondering if he was in the right house.

"Well he can see inside your head," Lily giggled at the surprised look on Harry's face. "Why's it so surprising he knows what you're thinking, two years after he could do it last time?"

Harry shrugged, even after two years in the magical world, he still wasn't used to talking hats.

The hat still insisted though that Harry would have done well in Slytherin. Harry took the hat off, now feeling more dejected then ever as he put it back.

"Don't worry Harry," Sirius said bracingly, as Harry did look just a tad upset the Hat still stood by this. "I was supposed to be in Slytherin too, but I never looked back. The hat may place you, but you decide how you are."

Any lingering of looking upset vanished as Harry beamed over at him, causing Lily to restrain herself from making a jab at Sirius having said something both kind and intelligent.

Then Harry heard an odd noise behind him, and turned to find quite the ugly bird.

Remus chuckled, and said, "I'd wondered why Harry hadn't mentioned Fawks."

"What is he?" Harry asked nervously, remembering quite well the sickly bird.

"He's a phoenix," Sirius shrugged, like that explained everything.

Seeing Harry's still blank look Remus explained more about the bird's qualities. Harry nodded along happily, then said quickly, "So, the bird's not going to drop dead then? Cause he looks

awful right then."

"Nah," James said, "it's just one of his burning days. He's going to be reborn just as ugly."

"You probably won't see it though," Remus added, "Phoenixes are at their most vulnerable in their infant stage. They only do it around their familiar. I've always wanted to ask Dumbledore

how he got Fawk as his, since it's so stinking rare to find a phoenix, let alone get one to trust you long enough to bond with it."

"More questions to ask," Lily said with a shrug, still fully planning a visit up to the school when they were allowed to leave the house again.

What few feathers were clinging to it were bright red, and its plumage was a lustrous gold, but the bird looked so sickly it held no beauty. Harry was just thinking his luck couldn't be bad enough for Dumbledore's pet to die while he was watching, when the bird burst into flames.

"What?" All four of them yelped in shock.

"Did he really?" James asked, studying the book like he thought it was lying to him.

Harry was nodding mutely, a stunned look on his face.

"Wow, I...have nothing to say to that," Remus said, giving Harry a very inquisitive look. "Unless Dumbledore is standing behind you, and even then it's a shocker he did it with you in the room."

Harry smiled sheepishly, he had no idea why Fawk had done this, but didn't like the extra attention it would get him if it was as odd as everyone here said it was. He certainly didn't need

the extra curiosity about him.

Harry cried out in shock, stumbling back as the bird was engulfed in the fire and before he'd finished blinking there was nothing but a pile of ashes. Dumbledore chose then to open his office door.

"Nope," Sirius said.

"Obviously," Remus said, rolling his eyes at him.

"My son gets to do, and see, the coolest things," James sighed, thinking this was one time he didn't have to even do anything life threatening to get to see that.

Harry began at once trying to explain, but Dumbledore just smiled, saying it was high time. He chuckled when he saw the look on Harry's face.

Lily nodded and said, "you did look pretty surprised just then, but then that's probably the first time you've seen anything burst into flames, even knowing it was going to happen now."

Harry nodded, thinking back to that memory still made him want to back up in shock.

Then Dumbledore explained his bird was a phoenix, who was going to be reborn from the ashes. Even as Harry watched, a tiny, ugly, little head came poking out of the black.

James snickered at his son's description, while Remus went wide eyed with glee and envy. He had only ever heard descriptions of new-born phoenixes, Harry got to see one in person. First the

dragon now this! He was eagerly hoping Harry would describe something else new soon, before he remembered the circumstances that led to him being in both of those places, and his enthusiasm disappeared all over again.

Dumbledore took his seat then and told Harry to do the same, but before he could begin speaking his office door swung open, and Hagrid came storming in, bringing a swirl of dead rooster feathers with him.

"Well he seems to be in a hurry," Lily said in surprise.

"What spooked him?" Sirius added in confusion.

Hagrid at once spouted that Harry hadn't done it!

"Aw," Lily cooed, "he heard what happened and came to defend you."

"I've said it before, and I will forever say it, thank you Hagrid," James said, beaming.

Remus and Sirius were smiling as well, though they were still chuckling a bit at the vivid mental image Harry had painted.

Claiming Harry hadn't the time, Hagrid had been talking to him seconds before it happened.

"Not that you need one," Sirius said, "but Hagrid's even giving you an alibi."

"He had one for the first two attacks as well," Remus reminded him, "the abundance of ghosts, plus you can't leave the hospital wing without Madam Pomfrey knowing. Enter it sure, but you

can't leave. Honestly, if anyone sat down and thought about it for more than a second it's obvious."

"Thanks all the same," Harry said, grinning at the pair of them.

Dumbledore tried to say something, but Hagrid was still going, claiming he'd swear in front of the Ministry itself,

"Wow," James said, going wide eyed, "and Hagrid doesn't like the Ministry at all."

"Can you blame him, they did snap his wand," Sirius agreed.

but finally Dumbledore got his word in by saying he didn't think Harry had done this.

Though they were all pretty convinced Dumbledore thought this, they still released a sigh of relief that it was verbally confirmed all the same.

Hagrid cut himself off and left, looking very embarrassed.

"I don't care how embarrassed he was," Harry said, smiling from ear to ear, "no one had ever defended me like that. I went down to his hut a few days later, and ate everything he cooked."

"Now that's gratitude," Sirius snickered.

Harry felt much better now, but Dumbledore said that he did still want to talk to Harry. He asked him if there was anything Harry would like to tell him?

"Did you tell him everything?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Did you tell him anything?" James repeated at the apprehensive look on Harry's face.

"No," Harry sighed, "I was still afraid of being called crazy more than anything."

They sighed in disappointment, but knew better than to argue the point.

Harry considered all the things he'd found over the year, like Malfoy's actions, and the Polyjuice Potion they were brewing,

"Okay, I don't blame you for not wanting to tell him about that," Remus agreed.

and his ever growing fear that he was related to Salazar Slytherin.

"I am so happy I don't think that anymore," Harry sighed, giving them all very grateful looks.

Aloud he said nothing, and was dismissed.

The school went wild with the news, but mostly because of what had happened to Nick.

"Well yeah!" Sirius agreed, "I don't want to know what can kill a ghost again!"

Remus went bug-eyed, but forced himself not to shout out. No one had ever tested that, this idea had never happened in the wizarding world before...but he wondered if he'd finally found his answer. If it was though, then that meant what was running around Harry's school wasn't just the death of muggle-borns, it would be the death of them all! He tried to shake that thought away though, forcing himself to remain in the here and now and pay attention since he still wasn't positive he was right.

Fear had nearly every student racing to get out of the castle come holiday, and Ron pointed out that would only leave the three of them plus Malfoy and his two friends.

"That does sound pretty bad," James agreed, "especially since you're actively not trying to avoid him."

Harry felt rather relieved, as he was more than tired of students watching him with the growing fear he would suddenly leap forward with fangs and attack them,

"You mean you can't?" Sirius asked in mock disappointment, "personally I'd stand in line to see that!"

or the horrible teasing and hissing.

"Children, honestly," Lily muttered in disdain, hating that her son felt so awful two years in a row because of the random students in this school.

Fred and George seemed to find all this very funny.

"Now here's something fun," James grinned, "what exactly were they doing?" Then he read out eagerly.

As they went out of their way to go in front of Harry and clear his path, claiming that the Heir of Slytherin, a very evil and important wizard, needed to come this way!

Both James and Sirius cracked grins at this, finding this only the start of a list of jokes they would have made in the same instances.

Percy tried to tell them off, but Fred brushed him off by saying Harry was in a hurry, he needed to go and have tea with his monster.

"I don't see why that's funny," Lily said disapprovingly, "people are really scared of this, and them mocking Harry doesn't do any good."

"I disagree," James scoffed, "they're showcasing just how ludicrous the idea of Harry being the person doing this is."

Sirius and Remus didn't seem to be paying attention. Remus still had a bit of a vacant look on his face, unable to completely erase what his mind was sure it had just discovered, one Sirius had noticed happened every time someone made any kind of comment about this 'monster'. Had Remus figured it out? If so, why wasn't he sharing with the others?

James didn't seem to notice his friends were only vaguely paying attention now as he continued.

Ginny was on Percy's side though telling them off as well when George pretended to ward Harry off with a bit of garlic.

Remus snorted, that snapped him out of his revere, "unless there's a vampire running around, that won't do any good."

"It's my point though," Lily said harshly, "the first years are terrified, and her own brothers are making it worse."

"They're just goofing around," Sirius shrugged, "I don't know why she's so upset about them making a joke. Unless she thinks Harry is doing it."

James scoffed and said, "please, the way she fawned over him over the summer. She'll think that of her hero when Hermione stops believing in Lockhart."

"Thanks, I think," Harry said, giving his dad an odd look, trying to decide if that was supposed to make him feel better.

Harry enjoyed them though, since they clearly found the act of him attacking anyone laughable. The person who seemed most annoyed by their actions though was Malfoy, who looked more furious every time he saw them making jokes at Harry.

"Wonder why?" Lily asked, distracting herself. It's not like she could do anything about the twin's attitude.

"He's annoyed that Harry is getting that kind of attention," James snickered. "He's already jealous enough of Harry, now he's getting the credit for something he would have loved to be doing."

"That's awful," Lily yelped, looking ill at the thought, "you think a child would really go around petrifying people?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," Sirius agreed with his friend.

Lily still didn't seem so convinced, but as none of them really believed it was Malfoy, she didn't press the subject.

Ron said this was because Malfoy was just mad that anyone had beat him to it.

"Then he must hate everyone," Remus mocked.

Hermione told them that the Potion was almost ready, so he wouldn't be a problem much longer. The rest of the Weasley's were staying over break as well, though Percy insisted he was only doing so to help support the teachers.

"Somehow I think they could have managed without you," James snorted in disgust at this kid, he clearly needed his head deflated a bit. He may have also been speaking from a bit of past experience looking back on his own thoughts and deciding someone needed to deflate his own head a bit at that age.

The boys were woken on Christmas by Hermione coming in and throwing her presents for them at their heads. Ron's first reaction was to tell her she wasn't supposed to be in here!

"What boy complains about a girl bursting into their dorm?" Sirius asked, grinning wickedly.

"I wish I had complained more," Remus muttered in disgust, "maybe I wouldn't have walked in on so many scenes."

Sirius didn't even bother to look abashed.

Hermione just told them that the Polyjuice Potion was ready.

Lily couldn't help but tense up with nerves, still unconvinced this bright little second year could accomplish such an advanced potion. Harry was fine of course, but what if he hadn't been the first to try it and he watched one of his friends get poisoned? She felt almost as protective of Harry's friends as her own son at this point, seeing all the trouble they got into just made that maternal feeling come out.

Saying how they could use it tonight.

"And a Merry Christmas to her to," Sirius said, wrinkling up his nose in disgust.

Hedwig came swooping in then, and Harry was more than happy to see her, asking if she was speaking to him again?

"Wow," James said, going wide eyed, "I'd forgotten about Hedwig. She honestly hasn't come to see you since the beginning of term?"

"Nope," Harry said sadly, "which is why I enjoyed that gift so much."

She gave him a loving nip while Harry opened his present, which was from the Dursleys.

"Well this can't be good," James groaned, good mood gone instantly.

"If they gave you another fifty pence, you'd have a whole pound!" Sirius said brightly.*

Harry gave an amused chuckle, but he was the only one who did.

Harry had been sent a toothpick,

"A toothpick?" Lily choked.

"Might as well have sent you nothing!" Remus scoffed in disgust.

"Honestly at some point I do wonder why they bother," Harry agreed with a sigh, considering their hatred for his owl it was a miracle any of them had gone near her to tie that up. It was a

rhetorical statement though, and he wasn't really expecting a response.

"Oh, but there's more," James grumbled, reading on tersely.

and a note asking if it were possible if he could stay at Hogwarts for the summer as well.

"If only," Harry grumbled, then asked with genuine curiosity, "why doesn't Hogwarts allow that?"

Sirius said miserably, "oh trust me, I've asked. It's because the teachers have to go home at some point to, they do have lives outside of school like the students. There's not a lot of staff during the summer holidays, so they can't just let the student's wander around practically unattended."

"Still," Lily said miserably, "I would personally volunteer there if it meant kids like Harry had another option besides going home to an awful life like that."

All five of them stayed silent for a moment longer, Lily determining she would put some honest inquiries into this kind of situation. She now knew of three boys who would have done a lot not to go back to a 'home'. This matter needed to be addressed!

Shaking himself James forced himself to keep reading.

Harry enjoyed his other presents much more. The one he got from Mrs. Weasley though brought up some lingering guilt about their old car, which hadn't been seen since the night they'd landed.

"I'm sure one of the teachers went to take it back home or something," Remus said, already having thought of that.

"But Harry never mentioned where he got it from, to anyone," James reminded.

"Well it can't be too difficult to figure out?" Sirius snorted, "it's not like anyone in the school got a howler about it."

"Well I never heard anything else about it," Harry shrugged, wondering why he thought that car was going to show up again later.

The narrative pointed out that no one, not even someone dreading taking Polyjuice Potion later, could fail to enjoy Christmas dinner at Hogwarts.

"Glad I could put that question to rest," Lily giggled, "it was really keeping me up at night."

There was every bit of food imaginable, plus the always enjoyable pranks of the Weasley twins, who had managed to get a hold of Percy's badge and changed it to say Pinhead.

"As often as he polishes that thing, he didn't notice," Remus asked, bemused.

"Why didn't we think of that?" James exclaimed, clapping a hand to his forehead.

"Because, you actually respected me," Remus said, frowning at both of his friends who were snickering, "his brothers clearly don't."

"Way to sink a joke Moony," Sirius said, only looking a bit ashamed.

Harry was in such a good mood he was even able to ignore Malfoy who was making loud comments about his new sweater.

"Bet it wasn't hand knitted though," Lily snapped.

Harry was confident that after tonight, Malfoy would get what was coming to him.

"Exactly what was your plan again?" Remus asked curiously. "Turn into some Slytherins, get him to confess to you he'd been doing these awful things, and then what? Go to Dumbledore without

any proof but your word against someone you publicly don't like?"

Harry was frowning at him as he said, "well when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous."

"How did you put it?" Sirius asked.

Harry opened his mouth, then closed it again, unable to stop himself going red in the face. When his Dad didn't keep reading, he finally said, "okay, fine. We didn't really have much of a plan past getting Malfoy to confess."

"Okay," James shrugged, "so long as you admit it."

Hermione was going over the plan again, saying how it would be best if they could get something of Crabbe's and Goyle's.

Sirius nodded, saying, "at least you recognize that."

Then she also pointed out that they had to stow away the two students, as they couldn't go walking in on them during their talk with Malfoy.

"Also a good point," James agreed.

She gave Harry and Ron some cupcakes that had a sleeping draught in them, which they should give to the two other boys.

"And you're just hoping they'll eat something handed to them by a pair of kids who hate them?" Remus demanded.

"Why are you questioning every little thing?" Harry grumped.

"If you don't ask all the questions, you won't have all the answers," James shrugged, "and you need all the answers when doing something like this."

"I'm both intrigued you boys put so much thought into your stunts, and still annoyed by it," Lily told them pleasantly.

Saying they should leave them somewhere easy for Crabbe and Goyle to find.

"Oh that's even better," Remus amended his statement, "you're hoping Crabbe and Goyle will just eat food randomly lying around."

"Bet you that works though," James said, cracking a grin, "they seem thick enough," then he read curiously.

They asked what Hermione was going to be doing during all of this, and she reminded them of the girl she'd been fighting back at the Duelling Club, Millicent Bulstrode.

"You think Malfoy will find it odd if she joins in on this conversation?" Lily asked, joining in with the boys now, and still annoying Harry. "Do you know if she normally hangs around those

three?"

Harry just huffed, he had no answer for that.

The girl had gone home for break,

James broke off, to look at the book in disbelief, but read loudly before anyone could say anything.

and Hermione could just say she'd come back.

"You've got to be kidding me," Sirius said, going wide eyed. "A student randomly came back for an hour, and then left again? Where do I even begin! Why-"

"Okay," Harry cut him off, "it was dumb, I get it."

They felt a little bad about making Harry so obviously upset by their questions, but then James nudged him and said, "Well good. That means you're learning your lesson. Hopefully next time

you'll think of all these things yourself."

"How many times do you expect our son to go around doing this kind of thing?" Lily demanded.

Both Harry and James flushed and ignored her.

Ron was not pleased, as he pointed out that this plan literally had everything that could go wrong.

"At least Ron acknowledges it," Sirius muttered to Remus.

To their surprise though, the first part happened like a charm. Crabbe and Goyle found the cakes and ate them,

"I win," James crowed happily, "next time remind me to put money on that."

"No," Sirius said at once, "I'm not losing money to you again. I hate your stupid betting."

"He's just mad because he always loses," Remus answered Harry's confused look, then began laughing quietly.

passing out with stupid looks of pleasure still in place.

"Wish I had a camera," Harry said, grinning now, "because that was funny."

'To bad Colin isn't following you around anymore then' James thought sadly, but decided against saying that, since it seemed a bit insensitive.

The hard part of that was to shove them into a closet, though they at least had the forethought to take their shoes.

"Now you're thinking ahead," Sirius approved.

They went up to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom to find Hermione stirring a cauldron that was steaming black smoke.

"Ah," Remus began uneasily, but Lily was beaming while saying, "it's supposed to do that. Merlin, I think she actually did it right."

"Here's hoping," James smiled.

Hermione greeted them, then pointed to some clothes she'd stolen from the laundry,

"Good," Sirius nodded, "you did think about this in some ways."

"You lot are far too okay with this," Lily scoffed.

"Well since they're already doing it," James said with amusement, "might as well praise them for what they're doing right."

"And," Remus said quickly when it looked like Lily was going to snap at him, "make sure at least Harry knows why it was wrong."

Harry just smiled at them.

reminding them how much bigger Crabbe and Goyle were. Harry peeked inside the cauldron to find the vat looked like boiling mud.

Lily nodded approvingly, but still wasn't going to be satisfied until Harry drank it first without a hitch.

Hermione was positive the potion was right, it looked the way the book described it. Ron asked what was next, and Hermione said they separate it into three glasses and add the hairs.

"That's interesting," Sirius said, going bright eyed, "what would happen if you put different people's hair into the same cauldron?"

"Your body would try and turn into both of those people," Lily said grimly, "it is not pleasant."

"I find it fascinating you know that," James chuckled.

They did this, and each glass changed colours. Millicents turned into a urine coloured yellow.

"Pleasant," Lily said in disgust.

"Was that not what was supposed to happen?" Harry asked in concern, misinterpreting his mother's look of disgust.

"No, it's supposed to change colours," Lily agreed, "the colour supposedly attributes to that person's personality. Example, a sick yellow makes her a bad type of person. Say the potion was a

more pleasant yellow, like a daisy or something, that person would be more fun to have around. Some people have tried to do studies on it, but since no two people have the same colours, it's hard to pinpoint exactly."

Harry nodded in fascination, but then wondered why he had such a bad feeling about Hermione's potion?

Crabbes turned into a darker muddier brown, and Goyle's looked like a booger.

"Pleasant," Sirius grumbled in disgust.

"Kind of want to make some now, just to see what colour mine would turn," James said, kind of amused now.

"Let me know how that works out," Remus muttered.

Hermione suggested they go into separate stalls, as the three of them would be quite a bit bigger once they'd changed sizes.

"Agreed," Lily giggled, "they don't even make those stalls big enough for the three of you honestly."

Harry nodded, glad Hermione had pointed that out since it had been a tight squeeze in there already.

They did this and then on Hermione's count, they all downed the potion.

Lily sighed as she said, "okay, Hermione officially has to be the smartest student, ever!"

"Kind of have to agree," Remus nodded.

"You're thinking she did the potion right without hearing about it?" Sirius asked, not disagreeing, just curious.

"Well if they all took it at the same time, and we know there couldn't have been any irreversible side effects since Harry's okay, then yes. Hermione did it right," Lily said.

"I don't know, potions isn't really that hard," James shrugged, "you just have to have the patience to follow the instructions as they're given. A first year could feasibly do a seventh year potion if they take the time to do it right."

"Oh really," Lily said scathingly, "so what's your excuse for doing so poorly in the class?" She was perhaps a little stung her husband was knocking her best subject.

Not seeming to notice this danger, James continued, "because we didn't care. Potions had little to no use to us."

Lily scowled at him, looking ready to fight back the importance and difficulty this class had, when Harry said loudly, "can we keep going? I want to hear about this."

Lily still looked a bit annoyed, but allowed James to keep going.

Harry had a hard time swallowing his down, as it tasted like overcooked cabbage.

Lily nodded, looking relieved that this was still correct. The taste should be at least similar to what it looked like.

Sirius shuddered in disgust, deciding he wouldn't join James in his new project, but James asked, "does all Polyjuice Potion taste like that, or was it because Goyle's colour looked like overcooked cabbage."

"I thought it said Goyle's looked like a boogie?" Remus asked.

"Overcooked cabbage does look like boogies," Sirius grumbled.

Lily spoke loudly over them, and repeated the same information she had been thinking out loud, making Remus ask, "so what would an ugly yellow taste like?"

"How should I know?" Lily asked, "I told you no two look the same, same applies to the taste."

Sirius brightened at that, taking back his mental comment.

The pain settled in then as Harry's very skin was stretched out, everything being turned and twisted in a different way.

"You know what," Sirius said aloud this time, "you have fun with this one James. I'm out."

"You're no fun," James told him, pouting, "are you really telling me you wouldn't want to switch bodies for an hour? At least now we'd know what to expect."

Sirius did look a little more persuaded, but James knew he could bring this up again later, so he read.

It stopped as suddenly as it had started, and Harry was left feeling quite out of place on the cold floor.

"I was going to ask why you didn't do that closer to the Slytherin common room, to give you more time," Remus said, "but I guess now I know why."

"Wouldn't want to get caught either doing that, or falling on the ground like that," Sirius agreed.

Harry called out to his other two friends, and was rather disturbed to hear Crabbe answering.

"It was creepy," Harry said, "hearing someone else's voice instead of my own, and then Crabbe instead of Ron."

"It can be disorienting to get used to," Lily agreed.

"When have you taken it?" James demanded.

Lily smirked and said, "wouldn't you like to know?"

"Did you do it in school?" Sirius demanded.

"Of course not," Lily said, looking offended he would even ask that. "If I had, I wouldn't have been nearly as disapproving of Harry doing it."

"But we started dating in our seventh year," James said, now looking like he was about to start pouting, "so when would you have done something like this without telling me."

"Don't look so upset James," Lily rolled her eyes, "I was joking, I've never actually taken it."

James brightened up at once, even smiling now that he realized his Lily Flower had actually just pulled one over on him.

Harry got to his feet and went over to the mirror, quite startled to find Goyle looking back at him. Ron was just as odd to be studied as Crabbe, with the brutish features and gorilla long arms.

"The descriptions are my favourite part of this," Remus chuckled.

Ron was just as stunned as he finished changing clothes, but Harry reminded they did have to get going and find the Slytherin common room.

"You didn't figure out at least that before you started this!" James couldn't help but ask.

"All you'd have to do is slip on the cloak and follow any Slytherin down there," Sirius agreed, "that would have been the easiest part!"

Harry just sighed, deciding against arguing the point.

Ron laughed that it was pretty weird to see Goyle thinking about anything.

All five of them snickered in appreciation of Ron's wit this time.

Then he knocked on Hermione's door, telling her to get a move on. A high-pitched voice answered.

"Ah, did anyone describe her voice as being high-pitched before?" Lily asked in concern.

"Well, we haven't even heard her speak yet," Sirius said, noting Harry's surprised look, so knowing that couldn't possibly be right. Then why did it work for Ron and Harry, but not Hermione?

She was protesting that she wasn't going, they should head out without her.

All five of them looked genuinely concerned now. This whole plan had been Hermione's idea, for her to not be going now meant something really bad must have happened to her.

Even Lily couldn't imagine why though, since the potion had worked perfectly for two of them. Unless Hermione was some sort of half-breed, doubtful since there would have been signs of this, the potion should have worked for her as well.

"I'm sure she's okay," Harry said feeling frustrated he couldn't be more confident about this, "I knew something bad happened to her this year, but I think she's still fine..."

James gave him as reassuring a smile as he could muster, saying, "well I know first-hand Pomfrey can fix almost anything that goes wrong in that school. So, whatever odd side effect happened, she can fix it."

"Can't imagine what the problem is though," Remus sighed.

"Would the potion work on Muggles?" Sirius suddenly burst out loudly, his mind pushing around for something else to change the subject. "I know Hermione's not one obviously, I'm just curious."

"No one's ever tested it," Lily said, Sirius' idea seemed to have worked as she seemed distracted at once by this idea. "Obviously they would have to consent to the idea, which would entail they knew about magic. However, I would think not, since very many things that affect wizards don't affect Muggles in the same way. Hum, I do wonder..." she trailed off.

James smiled indulgently at her, then mouthed 'thank you' at Sirius for giving her yet another project she would probably like to start now. Sirius gave him a half mocking bow as a 'you're

welcome'.

Ron laughed at first, saying he was well aware Millicent was ugly, but they weren't going to hold it against Hermione.

Remus gave a bursting laugh of appreciation.

Hermione still said she wasn't coming, and told them to go, they were wasting time. Ron turned back to Harry and told him that the confused look he now had on was much more like how Goyle usually looked.

The three boys smiled weakly, but until they knew what was wrong with Hermione they couldn't find too much humour in that.

They decided they'd better go, but as they were walking Harry corrected Ron on how to hold Crabbes arms,

"Good eye for detail," James approved.

pointing out he held them more stiff at his side. They went down to the Entrance Hall and Harry wondered where to go from there, while Ron pointed out where the Slytherins came up to breakfast from.

Sirius sighed. Did Harry have any idea how much area there was in the dungeons below? And the Slytherin common room was behind a blank, obscure wall. If they didn't know where it was, there

was a very good chance they'd never find it.

They spotted a girl coming up from that direction, and Ron asked if she could help them get to their common room. The girl scoffed and said she was a Ravenclaw.

"Ouch," all five of them winced, another spot of bad luck.

"I'm not sure how well that could have passed anyways," James sighed, "you're second years, halfway through term. Any first year can find the way to their common room before the first

month's up."

"I don't think even they're that thick," Sirius agreed.

Harry and Ron were starting to feel a little panicky then, realizing this wasn't going to be nearly as easy as they were hoping.

Sirius opened his mouth, thought about it, then closed it again and said, "nah, too easy. Plus we've already been over this."

"Ge, thanks," Harry muttered.

They went down into the dungeons anyways, and after looking around for nearly thirty minutes,

"Wow, I really hope you didn't do all that for nothing," Remus winced.

they finally came across another student, though it sadly turned out to be Percy.

"Percy?" They all asked in confusion. "What would he be doing down there?" James added.

"Maybe Prefect Percy isn't all that perfect?" Remus suggested.

Harry just shrugged, he had a vague feeling he knew the answer, but he had no real feelings towards the matter.

He was suspicious of them at once, telling them to get back to their dorm, it wasn't safe to be wandering the halls.

"Well he's not wrong," Lily winced, hating the idea of this horrid monster going anywhere near Harry, even if he was the one who kept hearing it. At least his father's status wouldn't make her boy a target. Then she felt guilty for thinking like this, since every other muggle born in the school was a target. She sighed, comforting herself that at least this monster's effects weren't permanent, and that Mandrake potion should be done before the end of the year.

Ron pointed out that Percy was, and Percy snapped back that because he was a Prefect, nothing was going to attack him.

"I think we should start calling him pompous Percy," James snorted.

"Is he really that delusional?" Remus asked, raising a brow in disbelief.

Harry nodded, wondering why the longer these books went on, the madder he got at Percy. Was it possible his behaviour got worse as he grew up?

For the first time in his life, Harry was happy to hear Malfoy calling for them from behind.

"And last time I'm sure," Harry muttered.

They turned to find him yelling that he'd been looking all over for them, and he wanted to show them something funny.

"Which probably means it's dumb," Remus surmised.

Then he caught sight of Percy and gave his customary sneer, demanding to know what he was doing down here. Percy puffed up, saying he didn't like Malfoy's attitude.

"No one does," James agreed, "but yours is hardly any better."

Malfoy gave him a dismissive look and beckoned Harry/ Goyle and Ron/ Crabbe after him. Ron had to stop himself just in time for apologizing on Malfoy's behalf.

"It was a nice thought though," Lily said.

Malfoy began ranting about Peter, though Ron quickly corrected it was Percy, and Malfoy hardly noticed as he continued by laughing about Percy sneaking around and how he was probably looking to catch the Heir of Slytherin single handed.

"I would hope not," Sirius frowned, "if the teachers can't, I'd hardly think he could. He's what, a sixth year? He also puts plenty of respect into positions. No, Percy's up to something else."

"And he has been since the summer," Remus reminded them.

They all puzzled for a moment, but shrugged when they realized they were stumped. They just didn't know enough about Percy, and Harry certainly didn't go out of his way to spend time with him, so they most likely wouldn't figure it out at all.

They followed him to a blank wall, and Malfoy said the password 'pure-blood.'

"Well that's original," Lily muttered in disdain.

"It's usually something along those lines though," James huffed.

Lily went bug eyed as she looked at the three boys and snapped, "why would you know that? I never even knew that."

"Really?" Remus asked in surprise, "I would have thought you'd at least know where the Slytherin common room is."

"No," she said, now frowning at all of them, "I don't know where any of them are, except my own of course."

"For shame Lil's," Sirius said, shaking his head from side to side.

"We know where all of them are," James said, puffing his chest out with pride, "and we've a pretty good idea how to get into them as well. The Slytherin's have a password system, like ours,

but it's not as random. It's more to do with their stereotypes, why I've no idea, but since I'm sure Snape sets it up same as McGonagall. That just says more about him than anything, Slughorn to for that matter. The Hufflepuff's are down by the kitchen, and you've got to do a series of taps on these barrels. That's harder to figure out, since it changes as often as ours does. The Ravenclaws are hardest of all, they do a riddle every stinking time a new person comes up."

"Remus was the only one who could ever figure those out," Sirius smirked.

Lily just kind of sat there, looking astounded at the lot of them. She couldn't decide if she was impressed they knew all of that, or annoyed since the houses weren't supposed to know about the other houses dorms. Finally, she went with impressed, since there was no good in nagging them about that now; so she asked, "What are they like then? And how did you get in without being

caught by someone else from that house?"

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but James cut him off saying, "tell us what the other founders supposedly did to the school, and we'll tell you."

Lily studied them for a moment, before saying, "think we should pick this up later then. We're getting off track, and I want to see what Malfoy has to say about all of this."

James gave her a knowing smile, but continued on all the same.

Harry however was disappointed his mum wouldn't play his dad's game. He really wanted to know both of those answers, since he himself felt like he should know them anyways!

They stepped into the Slytherin common room,

Lily couldn't help but listen eagerly now. Despite how often she had got Sev to describe the common room to her, she would love to hear Harry's account of it.

to find a large room with plenty of comfortable chairs and a roaring fire place, with everything having a greenish hue to it.

"Please tell me you go into the dormitories," Remus said, going wide eyed with remembered glee. "That's the best part!"

"Why?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Cause the walls are glass," Sirius nodded in agreement with Remus, "and you can see straight into the Lake. We only went into one of them, but I can't imagine why all of them wouldn't be like that."

"Almost, almost," James stressed, "rivals our view of the Quidditch pitch. It's pretty cool to see the mermaids just go swimming past you."

Harry shook his head as he sighed and said, "no, we only stay in their common room."

Lily couldn't help but feel a little envious now, suddenly wishing she really had taken a chance at some point and gone into the Slytherin common room.

Malfoy told them to wait in some chairs in the corner while he went to go get something.

"Sounds dark," Lily said in surprise.

"They like it like that," Sirius shrugged.

"Personally, I can see the pros of that, as opposed to the tower," Remus smiled.

Malfoy came back with a clip of newspaper, handing it to Ron who very clearly did not find it funny but forced out a laugh before handing it to Harry.

"So we were right," James sighed, "it isn't going to be funny at all."

The piece started by saying Arthur Weasley,

"Uh-oh," all five of them said at once. It had been long enough that if Ron hadn't come across this on his own yet, they had been really hoping he wouldn't be tied into this. Now James read with trepidation.

and his title at work, now owed the Ministry fifty Galleons for his bewitched car.

"Ouch," Lily winced in sympathy.

"Damn," Sirius let out a low, throaty whistle, "poor guy."

James huffed a bit as he kept going, not at all pleased someone like Arthur got into trouble. Yes, he shouldn't have broken the law in the first place, but it wasn't him that got caught either, it was the kids. If the boys hadn't taken the car, Arthur might have gotten away with it all together. Then

he realized he couldn't hardly be mad at Harry and Ron, what they did was stupid but ignorant in their actions so they were hardly to blame either. Recognizing he couldn't do anything for it though, he continued.

Lucius Malfoy, a school governor,

"He's a governor," James spluttered in disgust.

"Well that explains how he knew those test scores," Remus grumbled.

"Oh this is just brilliant," Sirius snarled, "Death Eaters making decisions about children's school life. Whatever respect I had for the Ministry before is gone now."

"Ge, thanks Sirius," Lily said, frowning at him.

"You know being an Auror is technically working for the Ministry to," James pointed out.

Sirius rolled his eyes at the pair of them, saying, "okay, so not everyone in there is evil, but a Malfoy getting a job there still feels like an awful omen to life."

"I'm going to agree with Sirius on this one," Remus nodded.

The parents exchanged a look before nodding their agreement as well. Still disgruntled at this revelation, James read.

had made the opinion that Arthur should even be fired for it.

"He doesn't even have that kind of power," Lily snapped. "Arthur being the Head of a Department, only the Minister could fire him. Doing something like that is hardly worth being sacked over."

Harry was sinking lower and lower in his seat, still feeling guilty like this whole fiasco was his fault. James tried his best to comfort both of them, saying, "I'm sure he won't be. Just the Prophet stirring up trouble as usual."

How this was shameful to all wizardkind, and his Muggle Protection Act should be tossed out at once!

All five of them growled in real anger at that now. Where did Malfoy get off deciding that! Taking a deep breath, James now felt a twisting pain in his gut as he forced himself to pay attention to the words.

Arthur Weasley had refused comment, but his wife was more than happy to tell the reporters to get off her property or she'd set the ghoul on them.

"A very real threat I'm sure," Remus grimly smiled.

Harry looked up from the article to find Malfoy waiting for him to laugh. Harry only managed the faintest of 'ha's.'

"Here I thought his sense of humour wasn't even this awful," Sirius hissed, "who would find that funny!"

"He really is as awful as his father," James agreed.

Malfoy was pleased enough for all three of them, drawling about how pathetic the whole Weasley line was, considering the way they acted.

"What, like a decent human?" Lily snapped.

Ron/ Crabbe's face looked furious, which Malfoy noticed and asked about. Ron regretfully had to grumble he had a stomach ache.

The four of them cracked grins at that, happy Ron had an excuse like that on hand, and it was believable enough if the implications of how much Crabbe and Goyle ate were anything to go by. It really wouldn't be good for anyone if the boys were discovered doing this.

Malfoy told him to go up to the hospital then and give those mudbloods a kick. Then he wondered how the Daily Prophet wasn't all over the school talking about these attacks.

"Now that's surprising," Lily said, quirking a brow.

"You can keep anything hushed up with a bit of money," Sirius laughed.

Lily frowned at him, she didn't find this funny one bit, but she also knew by now that Sirius simply deflected bad things with bad humour.

Then he answered his own question by saying that Dumbledore himself was probably keeping this all quite, pointing out that he'd probably be getting fired soon.

"Doubtful," James muttered, having absolute faith no one could remove Dumbledore.

Lucius had always said Dumbledore was the worst headmaster Hogwarts had ever had, how a decent one would have never let such a kid as Colin in.

Remus was red in the face with anger by this point. Dumbledore was the reason he had been allowed to go school, how dare this child say anyone shouldn't have that right!

Sirius balled up his fists in fury as he growled, "and I wish he wouldn't let your kind in!"

"You do know that means us," James pointed out sadly.

"I meant the way he's acting you git," Sirius huffed.

"What, should we start giving them personality tests before they can attend now?" Lily asked, a smile twitching across her face now.

Remus burst out laughing, causing Sirius to mumble something about being ganged up on, but they all felt a little better at the random messing around.

Harry bit at his lip, a question popping into his mind, and before he could decide to brush it away his dad caught sight and said, "come on Harry, what was that?"

Harry meant to deny it, his eyes flickering almost shamefully to Remus, but when he caught sight as well he gave him an easy smile and said, "go on, I can promise I've heard it before, and I know you don't mean it."

Still unable to untense his shoulders, he uneasily voiced, "well, you said that everyone who's born magical is automatically let in."

"Right," Remus egged him on when Harry still looked like he wanted to waver off.

"Well, you also mentioned before that Dumbledore was the only Headmaster who would let you come to school, but I mean, how could any headmaster stop you?" Harry finished in a rush. He

hated saying anything like that about Remus, but they'd asked for it.

Remus sighed as he looked pityingly at Harry, but he knew he'd always prefer him to look upset at the question rather than fearful, so he answered with as much dignity as he could muster, "it's illegal for me to be around children. It's technically illegal for me to even be here," he finished with a guilty look towards the stairs, "but when Dumbledore set it up for me, I'm sure he and all the teachers never mentioned it to the Ministry-"

"Just like no one's going to talk about you being here like that," Sirius finished with a terrifying look on his face. He would happily curse anyone into oblivion if they said otherwise about Remus going wherever he wanted to.

Harry nodded in understanding, that was all the answer he needed.

Then Malfoy started doing a cruel reenactment of Colin miming taking pictures of everything.

All five of them were furious by this point. The kid was a bit of an annoyance, but Malfoy's mocking was beyond uncalled for.

Then he looked over and realized Harry and Ron weren't laughing along, and demanded to know why. Harry and Ron managed to fake some more laughs, but it satisfied Malfoy; which made Harry wonder if the other two were usually so slow to laugh along.

"I would think so," James spat, "or it's just not funny!"

"What do you call them Harry?" Lily asked, "Malfoy's cronies. That's accurate enough, since they probably don't have a mind of their own."

The boys snickered a bit at that.

Malfoy continued in a cold voice, calling Harry a friend to the mudbloods,

James read with gritted teeth, making the rest of the sentence almost unrecognizable.

and how he was another who shouldn't be let into a wizards school, going around with a mudblood like Hermione.

"How many times can he say that before Dad really does curse him?" Harry asked his mom quietly.

"I won't let him curse a child," Lily sighed, looking rather upset at this fact more than anything, "but in answer, not much more."

The present Marauders were all talking in hushed, quiet voices, and the other two really didn't want to know what they were talking about; knowing full well it wasn't anything good. Once

James seemed to have vented enough he read on a little more intelligibly.

Then he laughed at the rest of the school for thinking Harry could be the heir! Harry and Ron felt themselves tensing up in anticipation, which was doused when Malfoy continued with less enthusiasm that he wished he did know who it was, so that he could help them.

Remus let out a dissatisfied huff, which his friends immediately noticed.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, "I thought we all agreed much earlier it wasn't possible a second year to be doing this."

Remus hesitated for a moment before finally admitting to the others what he thought was really going on. "The only creature who could possibly be able to petrify people like this, I thought, was a Gorgon...but what if it's something else. Something that no one has ever tested, because it's just

so bloody dangerous no one has ever even seen one in hundreds of years."

"Quit beating around the bush Moony," Sirius grumbled, not exactly the patient one.

Remus sucked in a deep breath before finally saying, "it's something only Harry might be able to hear, at least it would explain why no one around could hear it as well. It's something only Slytherin could control, the snake tongue! I think the monster creeping around is a Basilisk."

There was a very long pause after this before Lily asked weakly, "but, those things kill by looking, why hasn't anyone died?"

"I, well I am guessing here, but I think it's because no one has looked it in the eye yet." He began, still looking hesitant, but then he continued explaining all of the circumstances and no one

corrected him, but simply sat there in another long drawn out moment of silence. No one had even recovered yet to give their opinion on if they believed him or not before Harry said, "that's it!"

Remus smiled over at him, pleased he had worked this out, but then hesitated again and said, "my only problem is, who could be pulling these stunts off, aside from you. Parselmouths aren't very common, but it wouldn't have surprised me if perhaps Malfoy had been doing this all along, simply hiding his ability, but now it's obvious he's not..." he trailed off in frustration.

"Plus," James agreed, "no offense Moony, but really none of the teachers at the school thought of this either?"

"Um, thanks," he muttered.

"And how is something like that even getting around?" Sirius demanded. "Surely that snake's not exactly subtle."

"That," Remus shrugged, "I've no idea."

"Well, at least as far as James' concern, it is a bit far-fetched. I agree with Remus because I can't even think of anything else," Lily shrugged.

"Thanks, I think," Remus snorted.

Harry was kneading his brow, but looked a little less miserable as he admitted he had no answer. Malfoy's answer, while not unsurprising, was still disappointing. Harry however smiled again almost at once, saying that at least they were on the right track.

Ron very unsubtly let his mouth hang open in shock at this declaration, making Crabbe look more clueless then usual.

Sirius gave a surprised snort of mirth at that description.

Harry quickly asked if Malfoy had any ideas who it could be.

"I'd be astounded if he did," Remus frowned, "since I can't think of anyone."

"That sounded almost pig-headed," James told him with a smile.

Remus just grinned and shrugged.

Malfoy snapped back that he didn't, all his father had told him was that the Chamber had been opened fifty years ago.

"Fifty years," Sirius said, going cross eyed as he imagined that far back, "well that doesn't help at all. Why wouldn't we have heard of it though? It wasn't so long ago that we shouldn't have heard of this."

"Maybe it got hushed up as well?" Lily suggested. "If this same thing happened fifty years ago, and they were all simply woken up in the same way, but nothing further happened..." she trailed

off in frustration at the unlikeliness of this.

Remus was shaking his head fast, saying, "this exact set of circumstances, happening fifty years previously? I'm still blasted how no one's died yet. Thankful, but still."

Still confused but pleased that they had found out something from this little misadventure, James hoped Harry would get out of there quickly now. The hour must be almost up, and they had

learned everything they could from Malfoy. Plus, being around the kid just kind of pissed him off.

Lucius was lucky he knew about it, as the whole instance had been hushed up,

Lily didn't look happy that she had been at least semi right about that, but James didn't pause again.

but he'd told Malfoy not to go around talking about it because it would make them look suspicious. Malfoy was sure of one thing though, the last time the Chamber had been opened, a mudblood had died,

"Do what?" All five of them said in surprise, their shock for once bypassing the outrage at the use of that word.

"Now there's no way that could be kept quiet," Remus said, "surely someone would have looked into a student dying at school?"

They all exchanged very uneasy looks, not exactly reassured that something like a murder was hidden in the Hogwarts school history.

finishing that he hoped that happened again, and that it was Hermione.

"Who the bloody hell hopes someone dies!" James said quietly, he seemed beyond rage at this point.

No one had an answer for him. At James question, they had all thought of a certain three Dursleys, who they may not have batted an eye if they died. However, the main difference there

was that they were abusive people! Hermione hadn't done a thing wrong to anyone, let alone Malfoy. For a child to wish another kid dead like that was pretty dang awful.

Ron couldn't stop himself this time from making to punch Malfoy, but Harry stopped him as it might give up their cover.

"But oh so sweet," Sirius sighed. "Honestly, you could just punch him and run for it, and no one would have any idea what happened! You wouldn't even get in trouble for it!"

Lily opened then closed her mouth before shaking her head in disbelief, but since she knew full well Harry wouldn't allow his friend to do that, at least she hoped, she said nothing.

Harry then asked if the person last time had been caught, and Malfoy agreed whoever had done it was expelled and probably in Azkaban.

"Still can't believe I've never heard of that," Sirius shrugged.

"Well since you're clearly on your way there," James grinned, throwing a look at Lily, "you can ask him while you're there."

"That's not funny James," Lily snapped, "and I wasn't joking!"

"What, you going to turn me in?" Sirius smirked, now right in with his friend on picking on Lily for her earlier exclamation.

Lily narrowed her eyes dangerously at him before muttering something under her breath. Remus was the only one who wasn't exactly reassured that Lily hadn't answered, but since the other boys just started laughing he chose to say nothing.

Harry asked what that was, and Malfoy reminded it was the wizard prison, then mocked Goyle for being so slow, he may as well be going backward.

James rolled his eyes, now knowing Malfoy's sense of humour was as bad as it got, as if he needed confirmation.

Malfoy turned his attention back to talking about his dad, and how he'd been told to just let the Heir do its work on getting rid of all the mudbloods,

James didn't break off again, but he was mentally wondering what the odds were that he would get two chapters where Malfoy constantly said that word!

but then mentioned how his house had been raided last week.

"Wish they had bloody arrested him while they were at it," Sirius huffed.

Harry attempted to make Goyle look concerned,

"Hope it wasn't too difficult for you," James said, still more amused than anything by Harry.

as Malfoy said that they had hidden away anything too important in a drawing room floor. Ron couldn't help an exclamation of surprise at that.

"And there Ron goes," Remus said, tossing his hands in the air in frustration, "cutting people off when I'd have liked to hear the end of that sentence!"

"Yeah, which drawing-room?" Sirius agreed. "As big as that stupid mansion is, I'd have liked more details."

Harry shrugged, knowing there was nothing more they could do for it now. He also had a very firm feeling that they told Mr. Weasley about this, and hoped that this would help redeem him at

the Ministry a bit.

Malfoy looked at him in surprise, and Ron couldn't help but blush, all the way up to his hair, and even that was turning red.

"Time's up," Lily said, going slightly paler as she realized Harry must not be looking at his watch anymore.

"I don't know Lily," Sirius mocked, "are you sure Ron just doesn't blush so much his whole body turns red."

"You two are both awful," Remus cut in before anyone could respond, giving James a chance to keep reading.

The boys jumped to their feet, and Ron used the excuse they need to go get some medicine for his stomach,

Remus verbally praised Harry for that, saying, "it was good of you to set that up before."

Harry smiled at him, deciding against mentioning they'd hardly done that on purpose.

and began running from the room even as they continued to shrink. Harry could feel his limbs shortening again, watched Ron's hair turned back to its usual read,

James suddenly burst out laughing as he said, "just picturing someone watching that as they went by, it would have been a sight."

Sirius grinned as well, unable to deny that, though severally hoping no one had seen that, as it would make it all the harder for Harry and Ron to be 'innocent' of whatever Malfoy might have

seen that night.

only stopping to put Crabbe and Goyle's shoes back.

"Well that was polite," Lily grinned, despite her disapproval of Harry's actions, she couldn't deny she was rather impressed with the way he acted during all of this as well.

Ron was saying how at least it hadn't been a total waste, they did know some new things,

"Agreed," Sirius nodded, "we do know more now than we did before."

and he was going to write to his dad and mention the drawing room Malfoy had mentioned.

James got an uneasy look on his face as he said, "ah, is that really the best idea? Why does Ron know this information? Does Ron really want his dad to go after the Malfoys like that, without some more solid proof?"

At Harry's rather hurt look, James quickly said, "obviously I know he's telling the truth, I'm just saying it might not be the best idea in the world."

Lily smiled approvingly at him, pleased James actually did think things through every once in awhile. Harry however had no real answer for him and just shrugged, never having checked what

Ron told his dad about this.

They made it back to the bathroom and Ron began pounding on Hermione's stall door again, telling her to come out so they could talk. She, however, still refused.

"Not good," Lily frowned, "very not good."

"Why wouldn't Hermione be okay now?" Harry demanded.

They exchanged uneasy looks, not really being able to think of an answer to that.

Harry and Ron were very confused why she would still be acting like this, when Moaning Myrtle came gliding through the door beaming.

"I'll back up that not good," Sirius agreed grimly.

She was laughing that Hermione looked awful, and Ron asked if she still had Millicent's face?

"I don't think she ever turned into Millicent," Lily sighed, "I'm just not sure what she did turn into."

Hermione finally came out, and Harry and Ron were so startled they backed up into the sinks.

"Clearly nothing good," Remus muttered.

Her face was covered in black fur.

"Fur?" Remus asked in concern.

"Oh, did she somehow get hold of an animal's hair?" Lily yelped in shock.

"Yes," Harry said in excitement, which faded at once when he realized he had no idea how or why. Bloody hell, Hermione was about to explain it in just a second and his stupid memories still wouldn't show him?! Still, he asked his mom, "err, that's what would happen right?"

"Just about," Lily agreed sadly, "some people have tried using the Polyjuice Potion for temporary animal transformation, instead of doing it properly by becoming Animagi, and the end results is they get stuck halfway between an animal and a person."

"But it's reversible right?" Sirius asked in concern, thankful none of them had ever thought of that tactic.

"Yes," Lily nodded, "there are a few potions and spells you would have to take to help reverse the process, but it's slow going. It will take a while before she's back to normal."

Harry relaxed, sure that if this was the bad thing he remembered about Hermione this year, this didn't seem all bad since it would wear off by the end of school...right? This was the bad thing that happened to her, wasn't it?

She also had large yellow eyes and pointed ears coming through her hair. She unnecessarily told them she must have drank a cat hair.

"I do feel bad for her," Remus winced, "after all, this was her idea. Yet she was the one who got these awful problems."

Sobbing that Millicent must own a cat, and the potion wasn't supposed to be used for animals. Myrtle was giggling hysterically that Hermione was going to be teased.

"Guess we finally found the one way to cheer Myrtle up," Sirius added, ignoring Remus shooting him an irritated look for that.

Harry tried to sooth her, telling her he was sure Madam Pomfrey could fix her up without asking any questions.

"This is exactly why to," James nodded.

It took them a long time to persuade Hermione to leave the bathroom, Myrtle cackling all the time about Hermione now having a tail.

"There's the plus side," Sirius cried happily as he took the book from James, "having a tail is quite the experience."

HPHPHPHP

*Yes, two fifty pence pieces actually do equal a pound in British money, I had to double check that fact before I said that since I don't know British currency that well, so just in case anybody else was wondering...there you go.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

We’ll Carry On - Chapter Forty

We’ll Carry On Tag

General Content Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Substance Abuse, Abandonment, Minor Character Death, Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, Bullying, Homophobia

January 1st, 2016

Patton didn’t understand what was going on. His mom was clutching her head frequently and muttering about everything being too bright, too loud, too much of anything. He didn’t want to bug her, but he and Virgil were hungry, and something needed to be done.

Gently, he walked across the floor as softly as he could and tugged on Mom’s sleeve. She cracked an eye open but immediately winced. “What’s wrong, Patton?”

“Virgil and I are hungry,” he said. “Can we have lunch?”

“Sure, go ahead and make yourself lunch,” she waved off, closing her eyes again.

“No, I mea—” Patton cut himself off. Clearly, his mom wasn’t up for making them lunch. Even if he didn’t know how to make stuff other than possibly sandwiches, it would have to do. Why was what was supposed to be a happy time of the year leaving him miserable?

December 25th, 2019

Patton didn’t know what to do. Ami was sitting alone, in the master bedroom, head in his hands. He didn’t think that Ami was hungover, or drunk, because he hadn’t seen Ami touch a drop of alcohol. He’d never seen alcohol in the house. But he didn’t know why Ami would be alone in his bedroom with no one there to help him if something big weren’t going on.

At the same time, he didn’t want to bug Ami if some time alone was all that was needed. After all, if Ami had a migraine, or just a headache in general, Patton wouldn’t want to make it worse. So he decided that he was going to go to the second best source of Ami-info, Dad. He went downstairs, going past Dee who was fiddling with Tinker Toys in the den, past Virgil, who was reading the first Harry Potter book to see if he’d like the series, and past Roman and Logan in the basement who were playing together on some video game, using the new laptop and the old one to do co-op mode.

He went to the office, and knocked on the door before opening it and finding Dad on the other side. “Dad,” Patton asked softly. “Is something wrong with Ami?”

Dad turned from where he had been working at the desk, running a hand down his face. “There’s not something wrong with him, no. He’s just a little upset today.”

“Why?” Patton asked.

Dad sighed. “I’m not comfortable telling you without his permission.”

“But...he’s okay? He’s not hurt or sick or hungover?” Patton asked.

“He’s okay,” Dad said. “Or as okay as he ever is on Christmas.”

Patton fiddled with his glasses, taking them off before putting them back on and pushing them up his nose. “Would it be okay for me to talk to him?” he asked.

Dad bit his lip. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt, but leave him alone if he asks to be left alone, all right?”

Patton nodded. He dashed away, up the basement steps and up the second flight of stairs that took him to the top of the house. He walked to the master bedroom, knocking on the door lightly. Ami looked up from whatever he had been looking at on his phone, and sniffled. “Patton,” he said softly. “Everything okay?”

“I don’t think so,” Patton said, walking over to Ami and looking up at him. “You’re upset, and that means not everything’s okay.”

Ami shook his head and put on an unconvincing smile. “Don’t worry about me, Pat. I’ll be okay.”

“Why are you sad?” Patton asked.

Ami looked away. “I don’t want to use you as my therapist,” he said.

“You don’t have to. I just wanna know why you’re sad. You don’t even have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Patton said.

Ami sighed and fiddled with his phone, pulling up a photo. He held the phone up to Patton’s face. “You see those two older people behind the young guy in the picture?”

Patton nodded. The young guy kinda looked like Ami, but he had no idea who the older people were.

“Those two are my parents,” Ami said, shaking his head. “They haven’t been in contact with me much ever since I dropped out of college and moved in with Emile. I guess I was the black sheep of the family. My older sister and brother were their golden children, and I’m the college dropout who they see as a glorified barista. What little they’ve told me since we stopped talking is mostly that they want me to have ‘a better life’ than the one I have right now.” He laughed, but it was bitter. “And despite how they treated me and my siblings growing up, ignoring us, or at least ignoring me to the point of neglect, I regret not keeping in contact with them sometimes.”

“And this is one of those times?” Patton asked.

Ami nodded. “I want you kids to meet your other grandparents, even if they aren’t grandparents by blood. But I know that the second they’d come over, if I told them where we lived, they’d nitpick everything. They’d use the wrong pronouns for Logan. They’d throw in snide remarks about me being gay and how I went against every plan they had for me.” He sighed. “They’re...really unhealthy. Toxic, almost. And Emile is the one who holds me back from contacting them. But there’s a small part of me, that always hopes...despite what they did, that they could turn around...be better...be proud of the fact that Emile and I have you guys, and what you’ve done every day.”

Patton didn’t know what to say to that. “That’s hard,” Patton said. “It’s kinda like how I sometimes miss Mom, even if she listened to Charles too much and blamed me and Virgil for stuff.”

Ami laughed, choking back tears. “Sorry for unloading all that on you, Patton. I shouldn’t have.”

“I asked you to tell me why you’re sad. You did. It’s okay,” Patton said. He climbed on the bed and hugged Ami tight. “If you wanted to go into detail about that, I think Dad would be better, but you just told me why you were sad.”

Ami closed his eyes and hugged Patton back. “Thanks, Pat. You don’t have to keep this a secret from your brothers, okay? If they ask, you’re allowed to say I’m having problems with my parents.”

Patton nodded. “You know, I’m pretty sure even if your biological parents aren’t proud of you, Grandma and Granddad are. And Dad is. And I know that Dee looks up to you like you’re a superhero. And I trust you with my deep, dark secrets, even if it’s just that I like wearing skirts in the summer. Virgil and Roman and Logan all love you, too. The family you were born in may not have been great, but the family you found now loves you almost too much to understand. Or at least, too much for me to understand. I don’t know about you.”

Ami laughed, even as he cried. “I know. I know you guys love me. Sometimes, it just hurts. And when it does, I let myself be sad for a bit, and then I come back to you guys and know that you all love me.”

“Are you ready to come back now?” Patton asked.

“Not yet, Pat,” Ami said. “Though your hugs do help. I just need a little more time to think. Maybe I’ll call my brother, or text my sister. They’re not always the most accepting but I’m always going to be their baby brother, and they don’t let me being gay stop them from loving me.”

“Do you think that we could meet them sometime?” Patton asked. “Our aunt and uncle?”

“I don’t know, honestly,” Ami said. “It depends on how they treat me, and react when I tell them that I have kids now. Especially if I tell them that Logan is transitioning.”

Patton nodded. Logan mostly passed, but he still sometimes couldn’t wear his binder, and that meant some jerks would misgender him. So sometimes it was necessary to say he was transitioning. And if Ami’s siblings used she and her when they heard about Logan, well, Patton doubted they would be invited over, ever. “Do you want to call them now?” Patton asked.

Ami considered the question, eventually nodding. “Yeah, I’ll give my brother Toby a call. Do you mind giving me some privacy?”

“Not at all,” Patton said, hugging Ami one last time. “I hope they make you feel better.”

Ami smiled. “Thanks, Pat. Now, I think you and Dee have some Legos and Tinker Toys to mess around with. Go on and have fun.”

Patton nodded and left the room, mostly closing the door, and letting Ami have his phone call in private. When Patton returned downstairs, Dee was working hard on building...what resembled a skyscraper. Dee looked up and signed, “Is Ami okay?”

“He’s a little sad, but he’s working on feeling better,” Patton told him.

“What is he sad about?” Virgil asked, looking over at Patton. “It’s Christmas. It’s hard to be sad around Christmas.”

Patton shrugged. “He’s sad that he can’t introduce us to his parents. Because his parents weren’t good people, and he doesn’t want us to get hurt.”

“Oh,” Virgil said softly. Dee looked stricken as well. “Do you think we should make him a card or something? Maybe that could make him feel better?”

“It’s worth a shot,” Patton agreed.

Dee jumped to his feet, signing, “I’ll grab the paper and markers!”

Virgil and Patton looked at each other and shrugged. “What do you think we should say on the card?” Virgil asked.

“Why are you asking me?” Patton asked.

“Because you’re the one who talked to him. You know why he’s sad better than we do.”

Patton thought about it, and shrugged. “Maybe we could just put...‘You’re fam...ILY’? because Logan taught me that ILY is short for I Love You, and that would be a fun pun to make,” Patton said with a shrug.

Virgil thought about it, and nodded. “Sounds good. A little cheesy, maybe, but Ami likes that kind of stuff anyway. It’s good.”

Patton grinned and Dee came back in the room with paper and markers, as promised. “What are we writing?” he asked.

“You’re fam...ILY,” Virgil said. “Patton came up with it. It's a pun, and it shows that we love Ami lots.”

Dee nodded and put everything down on the table, looking at each of the twins in turn. “Who has the neatest handwriting?” he asked.

Patton and Virgil looked at each other. “I think...I do?” Patton asked. “But both of us have really bad cases of chicken scratch.”

Dee thought for a moment, before shrugging. “We could always check by writing it small on another piece of paper before we write the big one?” he offered.

“That could work,” Virgil said. “Dibs on the purple marker.”

They each wrote down the words to the card and they were all surprised to figure out that Dee had the neatest handwriting out of all of them. So Dee took a piece of paper that Virgil had carefully folded in two, and wrote, “You’re fam...” on the front of the card, and then on the inside put, “ILY!” on the left side of the paper.

Adding bits of this and lots of that and putting the other thing all over the paper, they created a drawing of the whole family for Ami.

About halfway through an argument over who should sign the card where, Roman, Logan, and Dad all came into the room. “Um...boys? Care to enlighten us on why you’ve been so quiet? I would have expected at least one exclamation by this point if you’ve been working together,” Dad said.

“We’re making a card for Ami,” Virgil said. “Because he was feeling bad. We’re just debating where to sign it.”

“Oh, I want to sign it too,” Logan said.

“Me three,” Roman said.

“Would I be allowed to, as well?” Dad asked.

“Yeah!” Patton exclaimed. “The whole point of this card is to show Ami that we all care about him!”

They all signed the card, right before Ami came down the stairs. It was clear that he had been crying, and if his red-rimmed eyes weren’t enough proof, he was still sniffling a little. “Sorry, guys, I ran out of tissues, I’ll go back to my room in a sec so you don’t have to deal with me...”

“Wait! Before you do, we have something for you!” Patton exclaimed.

Dee approached a very confused Ami with the card behind his back. He presented it to Ami, who frowned as he took it from Dee’s hands. He read what was on the front of the card...and then he opened it, and promptly began crying again.

“Oh, no. Rem, you okay?” Dad asked.

“Th-this is...this is...the nicest thing that...th-that anyone has ever done for me...” he held the card close to his chest. “I will cherish this forever. Thank you.”

“Of course!” Patton chirped. “After all, you’re fam!”

“And we definitely love you,” Virgil added.

[trippin-over-my-fandoms]

Unexpected Repercussions

(COMPLETE)

Peter Parker goes missing and SHIELD suspects Quentin Beck. The only problem is that he's been on house arrest. He has no clue where Spider-Man is. As it turns out- Peter is closer to Quentin than could have ever been guessed.

excerpt - (basically chapter 1)

Quentin Beck's apartment wasn't small by any means. His previous career at Stark Industries had left him a rather wealthy man and with that money he was able to afford a nicely sized apartment for one man. It was the size of a medium house and with an open floor plan for the kitchen, dining, and living along with a high ceiling the place felt larger than it was. Especially with the mostly white interior and minimalist style the furnishings had. It had become more cluttered recently after he was fired but before hand he was hardly ever at home and too many decorations distracted him. It was just enough to sate his OCD without over stimulating him.

Though, no matter how big it felt or how neat the decor was, it got small and boring fast for a man who had been on house arrest since July.

It was embarrassing really, absolutely humiliating. Oh how damaged his pride was.

To this day he still wasn't sure how Nick Fury and SHIELD had gotten the jump on him. One minute he's mentally tormenting Spider-Man in Berlin and the next he's stunned, electricity coursing through his veins and taking him to the ground. He had been electrocuted by plenty of experiments but never tased. It was certainly something he never wanted to feel again.

At least his own apartment was better than a five by five foot containment cell in some SHIELD facility. They had him in one of those for at least a month if not longer before they got tired of hearing him complain about it. At least that's what he told himself. It was better than being reminded that he was being used. They needed a new Tony Stark and they used him for tech upgrades. That was the most humiliating part of it all. He hated being used and working for someone else, especially when he got no credit whatsoever. His goal had been to rise up on top, be a hero and never work for anyone ever again. Only to get knocked down a reasonable amount of pegs and to wind up working for SHIELD.

He would have just hacked his way out of an ankle monitor if it had been that easy. The scar that marked the chip surgically implanted in his arm itched as a reminder that we was now basically a slave. He had tried to sort it out so maybe he could run, never to be found again, but he had only succeeded in harming himself.

Originally when it was set the perimeter was the entire building. So when he needed to stretch his legs and go beyond his apartment he'd walk the halls and sometimes take the stairs to the roof. This is when he learned he had not only a chip but an agent watching him as well. One day he had climbed up to the roof of the building only to be startled when the guy busted through the door panting (the idiot probably climbed the stairs instead of taking the elevator) an brandishing one of those damn tasers. He immediately recognized him too. He had seen the guy lingering in the hall outside his apartment once or twice. After that his perimeter was set to just his apartment. He couldn't even walk out the front door without getting a small jolt from the chip. It was as if he were a dog with a shock collar.

So now he paced about his apartment restlessly. He had a treadmill but it wasn't energy he needed to burn, he needed a change of scenery. At least he had a balcony. It was awful though for the days he was stuck. When he couldn't think and ideas just weren't coming. Usually he would walk down to the park just a five minute walk from his building but now he couldn't even do that.

His frustration was pent up and he felt like screaming but he knew that would irritate the neighbors and someone would call to complain meaning the building would call SHIELD and Fury would be on his ass about it. He really hated that guy.

Quentin settled for a growl and a huff as he plopped down on his couch. He growled again as he rubbed his temples, sinking lower to where he was almost uncomfortably slouching against the cushions. He needed to think but his mind wasn't giving him anything, it was just blank, empty, void of anything helpful.

A meow sounds from his left and he glares at the cat who's positioned herself on the pillow next to him. For a cat he kept around only to keep out bugs and snakes and rodents she sure was spoiled. Well, she was mostly there for the snake part. He was deathly afraid of those but that bit of information was usually the very last thing he would tell anyone.

She meows again and even though Quentin glares at her she remains in her place. She must want food. Tomorrow was supposed to be the day they brought him groceries. Hopefully that included cat food.

They end up starring at each other for a while. Quentin tries to figure out where the couch stops and where his white cat begins. She was very good at startling him, she blended in so well with the walls that he almost never saw her coming unless he was looking for her. He assumed somehow she figured this out because she got into the habit of making her presence known when she entered a room he was in. Usually by meowing.

The cat jumps off the couch rather suddenly and runs off when the front door suddenly opens. Quentin nearly does the same since he wasn't expecting the sudden intrusion. Though, that was expected with SHIELD unfortunately.

What's odd is that Fury is the first to walk in and behind him are Hill as well as several other agents. It seems like a raid almost. Fury looks pissed but when does he ever not.

"Is it too much to hope you're bringing me groceries a day early?" He quips, still sitting and watching as the agents begin to look around the apartment. There wasn't much in it so it would be a quick job.

"Watch it or we'll send military rations again. Another two weeks of MRE's sound good to you Beck?" Nick Fury scowls, looking down at him with a challenge in his eye. Quentin rolls his eyes, the memory not exactly pleasant. He had managed to piss off SHIELD somehow and they sent him two weeks worth of military field food. He practically starved to death as a refusal to eat them. They tasted nasty anyways and he could hardly believe they fed that to their armed forces.

"I'm good thanks." He huffs, taking another glance around his apartment and the chaos going on as the agents looked in everything with a door. "Look, the tech you asked for isn't done yet so unless there's some other reason for you disturbing Delilah and me-"

"Where's Spider-Man?" Fury is blunt and his anger seeps out in his tone. He looks like he wants to grab him and pull him onto his feet. Quentin saves him the trouble and stands up, keeping eye contact the entire time. "How the hell should I know? I've been on house arrest for the past two months. Can't exactly leave the place to kidnap a kid without your dogs sniffing me out first." He's just as pointed, making sure to let it be known how unhappy he is with only being allowed as far as his balcony.

Fury doesn't ask, instead he looks up at a Maria Hill who looks eager to speak to him and all the other agents have stopped moving about. Quentin looks towards her as well.

"He's not here sir. No sign of fowl play either." She looks almost disappointed and if he thought Fury couldn't look angrier somehow he was capable. Geeze, you'd thing what your prime suspect not being the one to blame would be a relief. It doesn't stop him from throwing a mocking grin his way though. He was innocent and he felt he had every right to be upset they disrupted his day and accused him of Parker's disappearance.

He opens his mouth to say something but Hill adds, "he hasn't been taking the medications either. All but one dosage untouched since last delivery." At which his smile drops and Fury quirks a brow.

Another dreadful thing that had come out of everything. When he was still being held at the facility they did a mentally evaluation on him. If he remembered correctly he had OCD (which he already knew about), NPD, BPD, and Bipolar One. Afterwards they practically forced him to take various medicines for all of them. One time when things got bad, when he was having a rough time from being cooped up and frustrated with his work he thought he would try and take all the pills they had provided him with until he realized they were in measures doses. No more than three days worth of each. They didn't even give him more until he was out.

"And why not?" Fury asks, crossing his arms and stiffening his posture. If he didn't know any better he'd think the man was about ready to shove them down his throat.

"They don't work and I hate them," he says with a shrug, "I took them this morning and all they've managed to do was frustrate me and delay working on your shit. And the blue one makes me tired."

Of course Hill just has to argue, "it's supposed to. It's for your Bipolar One and you're supposed to take it at night to help with sleep."

He rolls his eyes and turns from Fury to her, why did they care so much about his headspace? He hadn't killed himself yet and apparently the narcissistic part of him kept him from doing just that. "Well how was I supposed to know there were different times?" Mostly he's giving her a hard time just to be a little shit but at the same time he actually didn't know that.

"If you read the directions taped onto your mirror-"

"That's enough." Fury cuts in and that's the end of it. He makes a movement with his head and the agents file out of the apartment. "If we find out Parker's disappearance has anything to do with you Beck you lose any and all privileges you have left."

Quentin rolls his eyes yet again but nods anyways. Gosh, the stick up that guys ass. He was ready for him to leave. Thankfully he does just that and he's alone yet again.

He couldn't help but wonder though, what had happened to Peter that SHIELD was looking for him. It wasn't a 'he's avoiding us' approach it was 'he's been taken and possibly dead' kind. Or maybe they were just always over dramatic.

At least he didn't have to deal with it anymore.

READ CHAPTERS 2 & 3 ON AO3

[cafe-rfa]

Thank you darling!! aaa I know all too well how you feel T_T Please take courage! It can be really scary, but I hope you get comfortable with saying ‘no’ when you mean it!

I mostly went with “people pushing work onto MC” because that’s what I face the most, but I understand that avoiding confrontation happens in many other situations! Be sure to read under the cut for the rest of the characters!

Zen: 

Zen’s always been your number 1 fan, supporting you and your dreams! So when he sees you baking a mountain of cupcakes he smiles and is glad that you found a new hobby.

“What’s the occasion, babe?” He wraps an arm around your waist from behind. There really were so many... and you looked dead tired on your feet...

“Oh, they’re for my friend’s son’s 5th birthday party. She’s too busy to bake anything, so she asked me to help her out.” You smile, but it’s a weak, tired attempt.

“That’s very nice of you. You’re friends with the little boy?”

“I haven’t met him, no. She’ll come pick these up tomorrow, though, so at least I don’t have to deliver them!”

Zen frowns. “Wait, you’re not even going to the party?” Well, he understands that going to a toddler’s party might not be exactly what you want to do, but your friend should at least invite you over for food and a cup of coffee, if you’re baking her cupcakes for free.

You laugh, “No. Don’t worry, babe, this is nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” your boyfriend retorts, “You’re tired and she’s not even giving you anything in return. Here, I’ll help you with the cupcakes... but you shouldn’t let her walk all over you. Okay?”

You’re grateful for Zen’s help, but you can sense he’s a little angry - not at you, of course, but for you. As you two bake, he’s giving you exercises so that you can say ‘no’, until you’re both so tired that they spiral down to silly things instead.

When your friend comes over the next day to pick up the cupcakes, he answers the door and gives her a million dollar smile. “MC worked really hard on these, so I hope your boy likes them. It’s the next best thing to having his own mother bake them. Anyway, you can drop off the thank you card and wine tomorrow.”

The friend is flustered, and makes like a tree as soon as she can, but she doesn’t bother you as much anymore. And hopefully, you become more confident as well, cherishing your work and valuing your mental and physical health.

Yoosung:

Your friend keeps asking you for favours to help them finish their work. It’s hard to say no to a friend...

Yoosung completely understands... Though he may not have been in your exact position before, he hates group projects for this reason.

Usually one person does the majority of the work - that used to be him in high school, but in college he’s been leaching off of others. Neither position felt good.

You vent to him at home, frustrated at how much of your time is taken up by your friend’s demands. And yes, you agreed to help them, but that doesn’t mean you’re happy to do it... You just didn’t want to refuse.

Cuddling, he listens to every word you say, and tries to think of a way he can help you. Since he’s gone through the same sort of transition, maybe you could try imitating him...?

“MC,” he murmurs after a while, “Remember when Zen asked me to help him develop his character for a play? And I asked him to pay me...”

You snort as you think back to those couple of days. Their friendship always brought them to funny places. “Yeah, how could I forget?”

“You should try doing that! Asking for things in return, I mean. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t... But if you end up doing it, you shouldn’t do it for free. I promise it’ll make you feel better.”

“But they’re my friends, I can’t just ask them to pay me-”

“Why not? Friends help each other out, but they don’t abuse each other, either... Even Zen agreed to pay me, because he knew it was asking for a lot. If they’re really your friend, they’ll want to help you out in return, too.”

You sigh. “Yeah... you’re right. I’ll try that, maybe.” You weren’t sure if you were shameless enough to ask for something outright, but maybe it would make declining the request altogether easier.

Jaehee: 

You were supposed to get out of work early today, since you had some over-hours piled up, and you planned to use this time to cook a romantic dinner for you and your girlfriend later that day.

“MC, you can’t leave yet,” your boss told you - and when you explained you were cashing in your over-hours she shook her head, “We need you to start working on the project for next month. Come on.”

And so you caved. Not only did you not leave early... you left work late today again (adding to your over-time). You’ve been texting Jaehee throughout the day, so she knew you were coming home late.

Still, by the time you come back, you’re dead tired and practically crying from frustration at yourself because you didn’t have the guts to say no, and now your relaxing day with your girlfriend slipped through your fingers.

You open the door, and Jaehee, noticing how tired you look, embraces you. “I’m sorry,” you groan, “I can’t believe I got caught up late again...”

“I know, I know. It’s okay, MC.” Jaehee has been there - working for Jumin meant work cutting into her personal life on a daily basis. She understands how hard it can be to say no to your boss, and though she hates that you’re going through this, of course she doesn’t blame you.

She encourages you to vent, and you talk about everything on your mind as she combs her fingers through your hair, until you’ve calmed down a bit. When you’ve said everything but the feeling of frustration still hasn’t left, the both of you start name-calling your boss to let off some steam, until it gets so silly that you both start laughing.

“She’s such a potato-face.” “A used tissue.” “Smudge on the window.” “Melted ice cube-” “Smelly sock!” “Boiled eggshell!”

Jaehee pulls out her phone and books two tickets for that movie you’ve been wanting to see in the cinema for a while now, but you didn’t have time. 

“MC,” your girlfriend shows you the electronic tickets, “Tomorrow you’ll cash in your overtime hours, and if your boss says anything, you’ll show her this and say I have non-refundable tickets, I have to leave now. Okay?”

You smile and lean up to kiss her thank-you. “It’s a date.”

Jumin:

Jumin’s been trained to be diplomatic all his life tbh, so he knows exactly how to decline something politely and firmly. His self-confidence also makes people not question his decisions, so they don’t bug him (usually) after he tells them ‘no’ once.

It doesn’t even occur to him that you might not have the same skills, so he assumes you just enjoy helping people with absolutely everything! Which isn’t a bad thing, but your colleagues keep asking you to do more and more of their work, and it’s really starting to pile up...

When your boyfriend finds you buried in a pile of work one day, stressed to the point of crying, his heart breaks. “MC? What’s wrong?” He sits down next to you and takes your hand into his.

“Ugh, nothing. It’s just that I guess I bit off more than I can chew... I wish I hadn’t agreed to help my friends with so many things.” You tell Jumin everything that’s been pushed onto you and how close all the deadlines are, and though you’re a sobbing mess, he’s as collected as always.

“It’ll be okay, MC. We’ll work this out, I promise.” He comforts you for a moment, and when you’re feeling calmer he distributes your work between some of C&R’s employees RIP them so that everything can be finished on time. You protest at first, but that seems to be the only way to get everything done now...

“From now on, please don’t let people tell you what to do. You’re doing your work - you don’t have to do any more than that if you don’t want to. Not to this breaking point, okay?”

“But they’re my friends, I can’t say no if they need my h-”

“Yes, you can. I’ll tell them no if you’re hesitant. But don’t put your own wellbeing below their comfort.” Jumin states firmly and you nod, embracing him. You feel bad enough that Jumin’s employees had to clean up your mess, so you try your best not to get into this situation again.

He believes the best way to help you with this is to develop your self-confidence more so that you feel more comfortable declining requests. Jumin showers you in compliments, and practices asking you ridiculous things so that you can say ‘no’.

Saeyoung:

He’s upset when he finds out people are using you. You’re such a kind person, it’s awful to take advantage of that! Not to mention, you have enough on your plate as is, without your friends begging you to help them, too...

As long as he isn’t absolutely drowning in work, Saeyoung takes some of yours off of you. He insists he’s always wanted to write an essay about the ethical implications of toothpaste factories. Though you know that’s just an excuse so you don’t feel bad about him helping you out, it makes you laugh anyway.

Saeyoung does a decent job writing your friend’s essay, but it’s definitely not A+ material, considering his ridiculous examples and casual writing style.

He encourages you to do your friend’s work badly - “Then maybe they’ll stop asking you for stuff all the time!”

“Saeyoung! I can’t do that-”

“Why not?”

He shrugs. “Why should you do their work for them? It’s good to help your friends out, but if they keep using you for stuff without thanks, you should reconsider if they’re the types of friends you need around you.”

“Besides,” he adds, “It was their gamble to rely on you! They can’t very well complain about you to the teacher, or else everyone will know they didn’t do the work themselves.”

That’s definitely advice, though you feel a bit iffy about it anyway.

Saeyoung is willing to help you in whatever way he can, either like this or by hacking into the university server to move the deadline.

In the end, the best he can do is encourage you to look out for yourself more. “They don’t owe you anything. You don’t have to do what they say, okay?”

He insists on helping you practice saying ‘no’ - to his kisses! It’s silly and ends with a tickle fight, but he hopes it gives you more courage to stand your ground in the future.

Jihyun:

You were waiting in line to take an individual oral exam [for university/an outside course], and it was really disorganised... Everyone kept pushing in front of you, “I’m so tired!” “I just want to go home!” “I’m going in next!”

You didn’t have the guts to dispute anyone, even though you were also tired and wanted to go home, and you’ve been standing here for the better part of two hours.

You were one of the last people to take the exam, and so you left very late, it was already dark... You call Jihyun on your way home.

“MC! How was the exam?” your boyfriend asks.

“It was fine,” you sigh, “I’m just so tired... I was supposed to leave at least an hour ago, but it’s already so late... I’m sorry. It was such a mess and everyone kept butting in before me, ugh.”

“I’m sorry to hear that... But you’re almost home, right? I’ll give you a massage when you’re back. You can relax now, honey.”

Your mood doesn’t go from sour to good so quickly, since you were still exhausted, but you’re feeling significantly better after hearing Jihyun’s gentle voice over the phone. It’s even better when you come home to your boyfriend’s warm embrace.

Cuddling on the couch is one of the best ways to feel better. You vent your frustrations some more, and Jihyun listens to your every feeling, smoothing your hair in comfort as he does so.

He knows exactly where you’re coming from, he’s been victim to these sorts of thoughts as well. He avoids confrontation unless he absolutely has to speak up, but over the past two years he’s started looking out for himself some more. He wishes you could do the same...

“You don’t exist to make everyone’s life easier, MC,” Jihyun whispers, “You exist for yourself, and no one else. When you’re kind, it takes courage to set your foot down, I know. But I can’t stand seeing you used by others so much. Please... look out for yourself. And I’ll do whatever I can to help you, too. Okay? Please remember that... MC...”

Saeran:

After leaving Mint Eye and regaining free will, Saeran takes so much pleasure in saying ‘no’ to things - something he’s never been able to do before.

From things like “I don’t want to watch this movie” to “No, today I’m spending a day for myself only”, the freedom is so liberating. It was hard to get out of his habit of doing what people told him at the beginning, but he manages to break through that learned behaviour daily.

So Saeran understands where you’re coming from. But he also encourages you the most to take control of your life and to try saying ‘no’ - he knows himself how important that is (and how difficult).

“You’re free to do whatever you want,” Saeran encourages you in the same way you encouraged him when he was healing.

One day, you’re sitting on the couch, cuddling together and your phone dings, you sigh as you read the message from a colleague of yours who asks for help far too often - ‘MC, could you create the powerpoint for my meeting tomorrow?’

“What is it?” Saeran asks, and you angle the phone towards him so he can see the message. 

He frowns and snatches your phone from you. “Saeran!” You grab his arm to try and get it back, but pushes you back (gently!) and he holds your phone up and out of your reach as he types something.

 You hear the sound of the message being sent, and he returns you your phone. ‘I’m busy. I can’t help you.’ the message says. You feel anxiety swell up, you’d never wrote something like that! But it feels good, too… You really didn’t want to cut your day off short to do someone else’s work. 

“It’s not your problem. That’s not your work. Your friend should do this herself. Relax, MC…” Saeran comforts you, and then turns a little pouty, “Besides, you promised you’ll spend the entire day with me.” 

From then on, you try to imitate this message when people ask you to do something, but when it gets too much you can always sheepishly hand your phone to your boyfriend and he’ll send it for you.