#is like a pit in my stomach
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was gonna make a little "if you enjoy my glitter & blinkies, send me a tip for my bday" post ...
but also the relative who'd agreed to help me with rent & college costs backed out because she doesn't want me to transition. AND my delivery of groceries & cleaning supplies was just stolen 😮💨 so help is super extra appreciated rn. I'm having dismally bad luck job hunting.
kofi or throne (you can send stuff directly to me through this + it has a wishlist. Brita filter & food are most important!)
venmo is Grubcore
#scared 😃#trans#mutual aid#not to over share on glitter blog#my aunt who HAD agreed to cover rent if i got into college isn't giving me any money because she's afraid I'll use it to transition 🥲#I had no clue she was THAT transphobic and it's really just. miserable. she always said she'd cover college costs#but finding out right while I'm trying to apply for classes that I'm going to have to do this all on my own#is like a pit in my stomach#hopefully the college will help me find a job they have resources to help w that but i have no clue how long it'll take#scared. sad#my bday was last week btw not today#Also I need contact lenses and my insurance won't cover them! it's like $90 minimum ew. plus wtv solution costs#job hunting while disabled & trans 😵💫
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he didn’t even think she could dream.
he spent 70 years thinking she didn’t dream. he believed the lies she told herself just like he believes the lies he tells himself. he didn’t think she would lie. he didn’t think about how she suffered too, how she needed the stories too. how she’s a complete person with fears and hopes, how she would lie to herself to get through the pain of life just like everyone else. he forgot so much of her, so much of the realities of everyday life that he believed her when he himself witnessed otherwise. he didn’t even think she could dream
#I’m literally going to throw up I’m sick to my stomach#there’s literally a pit in my chest my heart is aching for them#the odyssey of recollection……….#me odysseying: this is great! me recollecting: oh no#I’m making jokes but im genuinely so so hurt like km so sad#iwtv spoilers#iwtv s2#iwtv s2e1#iwtv s2 spoilers#louis de pointe du lac#claudia de pointe du lac#interview with the vampire spoilers#interview with the vampire#m watches iwtv
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( They all love you!!! )
#isat#in stars and time#in stars and time siffrin#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#siffrin isat#siffrin in stars and time#robin draws#“i should draw siffrin smiling” i say#i then proceed to redraw the very scene that made me feel like there was a pit in my stomach#also if you couldnt tell. i really like drawing faces. i need to practice things outside of faces but i love faces so much#oh yeah i have a greyscale and a not-darkened version of this too#but i didnt want to post them with this because it'd feel cluttered#slap me if y'all want them and I'll post them then
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Don't you think I look pretty curled up on this bathroom floor?
#when I had the idea for this drawing it was about overcomig/living in spite of mental illness#mainly depression#However#while sketching I started to feel a weird nostalgia for all the nights I did spend on the bathroom floor utterly powerless#hopeless#This sinking pit of sadness in my stomach#that can't quite be described#that is always on the brink of consuming you#truly and fully#That drains the world of all it's color and drops you into a sea of uncertainty from which you can't quite escape#but that you also won't fully drown in#Endlessly suspended in a state of unbreathing but still alive#I haven't had a night like that in a while#If you do know that you are not alone and these nights too will pass.#I copied the text I wrote on instagram I hope that is okay#drawing perspective oof#illustration#art#self portrait#procreate#vent art#overcoming depression#the amazing devil lyrics#personal art
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So what if he's drowned a few people we all have bad days
#rote#robin hobb#karen liveblogs books#liveship traders#in all seriousness though every time i get to a paragon section#i am so overwhelmingly heartbroken by everything about him#i can feel it like an ache the pit of my stomach it's so sad
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maybe it's because we've only been given subtle hints about h5 but i am actually worried now after those ominous posts 🧍♀️
#i'm scared about this news and if it's something really devastating#like why do i have a pit in my stomach ??#halsey#h5#rambles
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i would like to be normal about ships but unfortunately i have a visceral reaction every time i see a BT edit
#i swear i want to not be a hater#unfortunately it isn’t in my dna#being a hater is in my blood#if it isn’t buddie i don’t want it#and i wish i could relate to the people that can ship both#i Can Not do that#i can’t express to you how incapable i am of liking anything that gets in the way of buddie#buddie#genuinely it bothers me so much like i feel a pit in my stomach at the thought of them being endgame instead of buddie#i swear i wish i wasn’t like this
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Don't you love it when you get back into your childhood hyper-fixation that you remember very fondly as an adult and realize how fucking depressing the actual story is now that you have the capacity to understand it beyond cool fighting and characters, humor, and awesome friendships?
#bleach#ichigo kurosaki#bleach 686#every analysis I see makes me more and more upset#why does literally everyone in this story suck#how did Kubo make such dynamic characters only to slowly crush their souls more and more until we get the most unsatisfying ending EVER#I keep trying to get back into the manga/anime but I feel like a pit forms in my stomach every time I try to#I love the characters dearly but oh my god#the relationships and the way most of the characters interact just grates at my nerves#like every few months I'll read like twenty chapter of the manga#get back into the fandom#read some analysis#and then I'll start dislking it all over again#I need a happy ending#i need a better ending#please Kubo#I need the hell arc to completely dismantle the soul society and the whole world as they know it#I NEED CHANGE#I hate the regressing and stagnation of the soul society#I need them to be overthrown#I need the characters I love to become antagonists all over again#I need Ichigo to be enemies with the soul society again#i need rebellion#I need the soul society to be the greatest evil again because in the end#they are the source of nearly ALL the problems Ichigo and co. face in canon#I'm so tired of them being the lesser evil#I need them to fall apart#I need the characters to have genuinely good endings where they are happy rather than regressing back into the people they were at the star#of the story or even worse turning into the ppl they had sworn they would never become
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2024 is kicking my ass already ??? bro like fucking come on
#my heart is so heavy I just need a break#I’m so tired and stressed and anxious constantly#it’s like the pit in my stomach has embedded itself in there and the tightness in my chest won’t leave#I either sleep all day or not at all. I can’t eat. I can’t function. I just want some fucking peace#I had a meltdown for like 4 fucking hours during a bad bipolar episode last night and nearly sabotaged my relationship because I’m terrified#of everything. of leaving. of being alone. of having to rely on him and him only. I’m scared to do this but I want to#I’m excited to leave and start over but I am absolutely freaking the fuck out about it
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everyone always wonders how sidney crosby will cope once he retires because he lives and breathes hockey, but girl how am i supposed to cope when he retires?!
#i've got a pit in my stomach lately thinking about no sid#like it's been haunting me#he's basically all i've ever known#sidney crosby#pittsburgh penguins
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.
#ppl really don't care about csa victims once you're an adult#it's like hey once you're grown up pls make sure you're a functioning member of society#make sure your trauma doesn't become an inconvenience to others#nobody cared back then and nobody cares now#i am so fucking tired#sorry but the rage has been boiling in the pit of my stomach again#vent post
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in the middle of assessing for adhd/asd and i feel like an idiot. is this normal? lol
#not a pleasant experience#sorry this is a bit tmi don't bother reading or do#my main concern is I’m gonna fall down a pit - and not the pit from gravity falls#i just feel like my life is gonna stop when/if they say hey honey you're just a confused straggler#the universe likes to target and punish people like you and you get to ask why forever#you will never belong anywhere with anyone and i'll make that permanent now gtfo of my office w your slight hope and fry#i feel sick to my stomach and i wish i could go back to being oblivious
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has anyone considered henry possessing glamrock freddy or am i being a little silly right now
#although for one of you the darkest pit of hell has opened to swallow you whole#so don't keep the devil waiting old friend#henry being glamrock freddy makes sense to me#“my friends are down here” william? william afton? old friend?#and if we consider the henry suicide robot thing canon#maybe just maybe#henry “survived” pizzaria simulator#reinstated fazbears as a corporate entity#hired the indie developer#idk where he would stand on the glitchtrap thing but he was shown to be a little silly in he books? maybe he thought afton was fully gone#and was trying to destroy the last parts of him that remained#he realized vanessa was being recruited by afton and set up the pizzaplex#he built the glamrocks? by contextual evidence it makes sense for michael to have built the glamrocks#given the glamrocks similarities to the funtimes including freddys stomach hatch (remember funtime freddy's stomach hatch?)#so if we're saying that michael built the glamrocks then michael wouldve had to have survived pizzaria simulator#which means somewhere along the line they fucked up#and considering that theres roughly 40 years between the bite of 83 and pizzaria simulator#that would mean that henry is like 70 when he burns down freddy fazbears pizza place?#i doubt any rickety ass 70 year old is going#like btw that was a badass line#but henry would be too old for that shit💀#so if we just take henrys suicide animatronic (named baby but probably meaning a baby version of charlie(the og book trilogy))#so what if he got remnant in him when he killed himself and therefore was stuck alive#so he and michael could have plausibly survived pizzasim because of the remnant they were trying to burn away#bc if remnant survived the fnaf3 fire why wouldnt it survive the pizzasim fire?#so saying that henry killed himself around 2000 leaves him at ~50 forever#he couldve also killed himself around 1996 after opening fnaf 2 closing fnaf 2 and reopening/reclosing fnaf 1#leaving him ~45 forever#doesnt matter the year it just matters that hes already dead before pizzaria simulator and after fnaf1 and fnaf2 events#not to mention with william dead around 1993 henry wouldve been the one managing circus baby's entertainment and rentals
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Some of those anons are really out of touch. If they have such a problem with you posting WLW stuff, they should make their own Lestappen blogs and let the rest of us enjoy your content in peace.
I keep repeating myself but personally I find it weird as hell that someone is just here 'for the Lestappen stuff' and isn't open and empathetic to the large queer community that understandably hangs around such a space.
#asks#anon#also the criminal reception of f/f lestappen fics in general like........leaves a pit in my stomach
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how to shatter my heart in 2 seconds, a class by joey richter: “but i guess it’s not all roses, huh?”
#honestly i cannot explain to you the PHYSICAL REACTION EVERY SINGLE TIME#i feel that line in my CORE#i feel that entire SCENE like a pit in my stomach#and i’ve seen it dozens of times#but it just keeps happening#hatchetfield#npmd#lautski
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Someone wake me up when the twats in charge at unity have backpeadled their "pay per install" plan entirely.
I'm too tired for this shit.
#game development#game dev#unity#I've been making a game in unity#and the news of that change made me actually feel physically ill#it's like there's a pit in my stomach that won't go away#and I'm always about to cry#all happiness is overshadowed by the fact that not only a game engine I use has gone to shit#but that everyone else is suffering this crap too#is this what depression feels like?#fuck unity
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