#it doesn’t HAVE to be excellent songwriting

[jewishbarbies]

“not all music needs to be analytical or poetic, it can just be fun, and that doesn’t make it inherently mediocre.” needs to be learned again. you can just listen to music because it’s fun. not all fun music has to be poetic or a Shakespearean monologue with background music for you to listen to it or call it good. learn to be secure in your music taste and understand that it’s okay and not an insult to you if someone else has different preferences.

[goldengalore]

Never Alone

An anxious!reader fic.

Summary: Harry wants to meet Y/N’s family, but she is hesitant to introduce him to them and he can’t figure out why. When he discovers the reason, he’s hurt that she felt the need to hide it from him. This makes Harry question Y/N’s feelings for him, while she thinks he’s doubting her anxiety issues.

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: anxiety, toxic family, invalidation of mental health issues, angst, mentions of sex but no actual smut

A/N: Listened to Matilda and Renegade by Big Red Machine ft. Taylor Swift a ton while writing this. Also, to anyone reading this who has ever felt invalidated about their mental health issues, I see you and I hope you know you are never ever alone ❤️

***

Harry and Y/N hadn’t been dating for very long when he introduced her to his mother, Anne, and his older sister, Gemma.

He knew that meeting them in person for the first time would be stressful for Y/N because of her social anxiety as well as her obsession with making an excellent impression on every single person in his life. So, he cleverly began easing her into it by having her pop in briefly during his usual FaceTime calls with Anne and Gemma.

It worked because when he asked her to come home with him for Christmas, she didn’t even hesitate to say yes. That didn’t mean she wasn’t nervous about it though. Between her anxiety and his excitement, they were both a ball of jitters on the ten-hour flight from LA to London.

Harry’s family fell in love with Y/N. Once she conquered her initial timidness, she fit in perfectly with them. This didn’t come as a surprise to him at all, but Y/N was completely blown away by the love and warmth that his family showered her with. She was even brought to tears from it.

After a joyous holiday with his family, Harry found himself imagining what meeting Y/N’s family would be like. To him, that was the next logical step in their relationship, and he was eagerly anticipating it. So, when they’re a whole year into their relationship and she still hasn’t introduced him to her family or expressed any intention of doing so, he can’t help but wonder what might be holding her back.

She even had the opportunity to do so when she recently visited her family for a few days. She could have taken him with her. He even offered to tag along, but she refused, claiming that her mother had come down with some nasty stomach bug, so it wouldn’t be the best time.

He can’t lie. Her refusal hurt. Although he tries not to make a big deal out of it, it eats at him over the next couple weeks, so one day, he just decides to bring it up.

For most people, it’s a lazy Sunday—the perfect opportunity to sleep in and not get out of bed until noon. Not for Harry and Y/N though. No, the two creative souls got up bright and early to use this time to write and draw. Harry sits on one couch with his guitar in his lap and his songwriting notebook next to him along with his phone, which is recording everything he plays. On the other couch is Y/N, her sketchbook perched up against her bent legs, her pencil gripped between her skillful fingers as she works on a drawing.

Harry has been staring at her for some time now while mindlessly strumming his guitar. She’s too immersed in her task to sense his gaze on her.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, baby?” she responds without looking up from her sketchbook.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm?”

He pauses the recording on his phone before asking, “Why don’t you want me to meet your family?”

The question pulls her attention away from her drawing to his face. The hand holding her pencil is frozen on the paper.

“I told you,” she says softly. “It’s not that I don’t want you to meet them. I’m just... waiting for the right time.”

He cocks a brow. “The right time? Will there ever be a right time? We’ve been together for a year.” He really doesn’t want to sound pushy or demanding, but he also just wants her to know how he feels. “You and my mum are constantly sending each other cat videos. You and Gemma have inside jokes that I’m not even a part of. Meanwhile, I find myself wondering if your family even knows who I am.”

She gives him a small, slightly amused smirk. “H, they know who you are. Trust me.”

“You know what I mean,” he mumbles, looking down at his guitar. Sure, they may know him as “Harry Styles the singer” or “Harry Styles the actor,” but that’s not what matters to him. He just wants them to know him as Y/N’s boyfriend, that’s all.

“They know that we’re in a relationship,” she confirms.

He waits for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t. “Okay... And? How do they feel about that? Do they ask about me? Do they even want to meet me?”

She averts her gaze, her pencil moving across the page again. “They ask about you every time I see them.”

“Then what’s holding you back?” he inquires gently.

Her response is so delayed that he wonders if he’s even going to get one. “I’ll talk to them,” she says after a minute. “We’ll arrange a time for you and me to go see them together.”

His eyebrows lift up in surprise. “Really?”

She nods. “Yeah. If you really want to meet them, I’ll try to make it happen.”

He doesn’t know what to say at first. He didn’t expect her to concede so quickly. “Thank you, lovie,” he says once the words finally come to him.

She just gives him a brief smile and returns to her drawing, making a few more pencil strokes before asking, “Wanna see what I drew?”

“Always.”

She tries to bite back an excited grin as she turns her sketchbook around to show him. He shifts the guitar in his lap and leans forward to take a look. He instantly recognizes himself in the sketch. It’s him sitting as he is now, on the couch with his guitar. Every detail of his facial features is intricately depicted from the focused furrow of his brow to the shape of his nose to the stubble on his jaw.

He stares at it in awe. “That looks amazing.”

“Thanks!”

He tears his gaze away from the sketch and looks at her. “You were drawing me this whole time? I thought you were brainstorming ideas for your next piece.”

“I was, but you just looked so cute sitting there with your guitar. I mean, you were practically begging to be drawn.” She shoots him a flirtatious grin.

“Mhm. Right.” He shakes his head at her, smiling. “Can I keep it?”

“Of course.” She carefully rips the page out of her book and hands it over to him.

“Another one for the collection,” he states happily, referring to his growing collection of sketches that she’s drawn of him over the past year. In the beginning, she used to hide them from him. Then one day, he stumbled upon her sketchbook sitting on the dining table, opened up to a page containing a flawless illustration of his Vogue magazine cover, and he was astounded. Y/N’s whole face flushed red when she found him staring at it, but he was quick to reassure her that he liked it and asked if he could keep it.

“I don’t mind, you know. That you like drawing me,” he told her that day. “It’s a compliment, if anything, and it’s no different than me writing songs about you.”

Her face brightened at his revelation. “You write songs about me?”

“All the time.”

Ever since that conversation, she no longer hesitates to show him these drawings and he makes sure to keep each one in a safe place.

“I still can’t believe you’ve been saving them all,” she says now. “You really haven’t thrown a single one away?”

“I could never.”

***

A whole week passes by, and it’s like their conversation about arranging a time to meet Y/N’s family never even happened because she doesn’t bring it up again. Harry starts to wonder if she only said that to appease him for a while and stop him from asking. That annoys him. It would be one thing to tell him that she doesn’t want him to meet her family; it’s another to make false promises just to shut him up.

He wishes he could drop it. But he can’t. Especially now that he is almost certain that she’s hiding something from him.

She has a meeting today with the owner of an esteemed art gallery in LA, who offered her the opportunity to hold her first solo art exhibition. She has spent the last couple months preparing for the exhibition, which is less than two weeks away. Her best friend and business partner, Rosie, will be accompanying her to the meeting. Rosie shows up at Harry’s house around 10:30 that morning.

“Y/N’s upstairs, still getting ready,” he tells her after inviting her in. “Should be down soon though.”

“I’m surprised I’m ready before her for once. That’s quite the accomplishment for me.”

“Yeah, I, um—” He releases a sheepish laugh, touching his fingers to his lips. “I may have made her a bit late getting out of bed this morning.”

Rosie opens her mouth to say something, then closes it. He raises his brows at her expectantly, but she waves a dismissive hand and says, “Oh, I was just going to ask what you two were up to, but then I answered my own question.”

A coy grin tugs at the corners of his lips, as the memories of his sensual morning with Y/N play back in his mind.

He and Rosie take a seat in the living room. He offers her something to eat or drink while they wait, but she politely declines. That’s when the thought occurs to him. If there is anyone who knows Y/N better than him, it would be her best friend, who has known her for the majority of her adult life. Surely, if Y/N is hiding something from him, Rosie could be the key to helping him figure out what and why.

“Hey, this might be a random question, but have you ever met Y/N’s family?” he asks.

“Yeah, a few times.”

“What are they like?”

Her hazel eyes narrow slightly. “Why do you ask?”

He leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “Don’t you think it’s a bit strange that Y/N and I have been together for a year and she still hasn’t introduced me to her family?”

Rosie hesitates. She glances over her shoulder at the stairs before answering quietly, “Look, let’s just say... Her family isn’t very supportive of her.”

His heart sinks. “Shit. Really?”

She nods. “They’re like the type of people who think mental health problems aren’t real problems or that tough love can fix everything, including anxiety.”

He winces.

“Yeah…”

“Well, that explains a lot,” he says, referring not only to Y/N’s reluctance to introduce him to her family but also her emotional reaction to his family accepting her with open arms. “Why didn’t she just tell me that? I would’ve understood.”

“You know how Y/N is. She keeps a lot to herself, and she doesn’t even do it on purpose most of the time.”

“I know, but...” He shrugs. “I just thought we’d reached that stage in our relationship where we could tell each other anything. At least that’s how I feel when I’m with her.”

She had so many chances to tell him the truth about her family. Even if she didn’t want to get into the nitty-gritty details of it, all she had to do was tell him that they’re not nice people for him to drop the topic altogether. He feels guilty now for bringing up her family so much, but she never gave him any indication that they were bad people. Even when she went to visit them recently, it didn’t seem like she was dreading it. So, how was Harry supposed to know? How can he possibly know anything about her if she refuses to open up to him?

They hear her footsteps rapidly descending the stairs now.

“I’m ready!” she shouts.

Her outfit for the meeting is sleek and professional—a teal blouse loosely tucked into a pair of slim, high-waisted black trousers. Harry helped her pick it out this morning when she was struggling to decide between a few different options.

“How late are we?” she asks breathlessly at the bottom of the stairs.

Rosie checks her phone. “Not that late. We can still get there with five minutes to spare.”

As Rosie heads to the door, Y/N walks over to Harry to kiss him goodbye.

“Bye, baby. I’ll see you later,” she says.

He squeezes her hand. “Best of luck with the meeting. Remember to breathe.”

“I’ll try!”

And then she’s off.

***

Sometimes, Y/N can’t tell if someone is actually behaving differently around her or if her anxiety is causing her to see things that aren’t there. There have been instances where she thought someone was acting off around her and became convinced that they were upset with her only to find out that they were just having a bad day and it had nothing to do with her at all.

She wonders if this might be the case with Harry. He has been acting strange the past few days. The shift in behaviour is subtle. A kiss that ends a moment too soon, a smile that doesn’t quite reach the eyes, a laugh that feels just a little bit forced. Most people wouldn’t take notice. But the thing about anxiety is that it forces you to notice everything. It’s as if the brain is in a constant state of hypervigilance, scanning its environment for the slightest sign of a threat.

Harry has been at the studio all day. She saw him briefly around seven o’clock this morning when her eyes fluttered open to find him all showered and dressed for the day, grabbing his phone off the nightstand.

“Heading to the studio. Love you,” he told her, planting a hasty kiss to her forehead before leaving.

She couldn’t fall back asleep after that, so she decided to start her day too and put some finishing touches on the drawings for her upcoming exhibit. However, her overthinking mind made it impossible to focus. She ultimately decided to take her drawings over to her apartment and work there instead.

Over the past six months, she has practically lived at Harry’s house with how much time she spends there. But her apartment has always been there in case she needs some time alone or, like today, she just needs a change of scenery to sharpen her focus.

It didn’t occur to her at any point to text Harry and let him know where he can find her after he finishes up at the studio. Or perhaps, her subconscious made her withhold that information on purpose to see if he would even notice or care for her absence.

Late that evening, she receives a call from him.

“Hey, where’d you go?” he asks when she picks up.

“Oh, I’m at my apartment. Couldn’t focus today, so I thought I’d try working here instead.”

“Hm. Wish you’d told me. I would’ve headed straight there from the studio.”

“Sorry,” she mumbles in response.

“It’s all right. Be there in a few.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

A nervousness seeps through her after their call. A kind of nervousness she hasn’t felt since the very early days of their relationship when she wasn’t quite comfortable around him yet. She doesn’t like this feeling and tries to distract herself by cleaning up the kitchen where she just finished having dinner not too long ago.

Harry has a spare key to her apartment, just like she has one to his house, so when she hears it turn in the lock, she knows it’s him. Her heart is in her throat.

She’s washing her hands in the kitchen sink when the door opens.

“Hi, my love,” he greets her. He’s wearing her merch today. Well, technically, it’s his merch that she helped design. Their merch, as he would call it.

“Hey,” she replies. As she wipes her hands on the towel by the sink, he walks up behind her and slides his arms around her waist, burying his face in her hair. She turns around to face him. “How was your day?” For some reason, the question comes out sounding awkward, at least in her head, but Harry seems unfazed.

“Productive. We wrote so much today. Song after song. I couldn’t believe it. Tyler suggested we pull an all-nighter, but everyone was tired, so we decided to go home…” A dimpled smile emerges on his face as he adds, “And I wanted to see you, so…”

He plants a sweet, lingering kiss to her lips. She should feel the stress dissipating from her body. She should feel a sense of calm washing over her like cool ocean waves on a hot summer day. But none of that happens.

His hand sneaks under her shirt, squeezing her bare waist before wandering upward to her breast.

“Sorry,” she says, pulling away suddenly. “I, um, I’m not in the mood tonight.”

He blinks a few times, thrown for a moment. “Oh. Okay. No worries.” He takes a step back and scratches the back of his neck, eyes searching her face. “Everything okay?”

She doesn’t meet his gaze. “Yeah, I think I’m just starting my period soon, so you know…”

“Ah. Well, maybe we can just cuddle then. If you’re in the mood for that.”

“Mhm.”

They lay on her plush black couch together, her head on his shoulder, his fingers running through the lengths of her hair. He’s humming some unknown melody—probably a new song he’s been working on. She feels her heartbeat slowing down, finally.

Then he says, “Hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

Her heart picks up again. This is it. This is what she’s been dreading. She has no idea what he’s about to say, but of course, her mind jumps to the worst case scenario.

“Yeah?” she says, trying to keep her voice level.

“It’s about something Rosie told me.”

She frowns. “Something Rosie told you? What would that be?”

“She told me about your family, how they… they’re not supportive of you and your struggles.”

Her frown deepens. “She told you that?” She sits up now. “Why would she do that? She has no right to be sharing that kind of information about me.”

He sits up too, confusion taking hold of his features. “It’s not like she shared it with some stranger, lovie. I’m your boyfriend. Why is it so bad that she told me?”

“Because I didn’t want…” She trails off.

“You didn’t want me to know?”

She wordlessly looks down in her lap.

“Why?” he asks, the hurt apparent in his voice.

Forcing herself to look at him, she answers, “I didn’t want to disappoint you. You seemed so excited to meet them, and you bring them up all the time—”

“Yeah, that was when I knew nothing about them. If I’d known how they’d treated you, why the fuck would I want to meet them?” He runs a hand through his hair, clutching the ends briefly before letting go. “And I brought them up all the time because you were always so bloody vague about the topic. What was I— What was I meant to think? I’m not a mind-reader, Y/N.”

“I know. I know you’re not a mind-reader.” She tries to reach out to him, but he doesn’t seem to notice her outstretched hand as he turns away, so she lets it fall on the couch.

“Well, sometimes I feel like you expect me to be one because you never tell me how you really feel or what you’re really thinking, and I’m left to figure it out on my own.”

“Okay, that’s not true.” She shakes her head, growing a bit defensive now. “I know I used to be like that in the beginning, but you can’t tell me I haven’t gotten better since then because I have. You’re just angry right now and I—I can understa—”

“I’m not angry,” he insists, though he sounds pretty close to it, and it’s making her panic because although she has seen him get angry before, it’s never been at her.

His eyes fall shut for a moment. He seems to compose himself before continuing calmly, “I’m just frustrated because I feel like I’ve told you everything about me, I’ve bared my entire fucking soul to you, and I know it’s not as easy for you to do the same, but it’s not like it’s a walk in the park for me either. You say that it’s your anxiety that keeps you from opening up to me, but at this point, I can’t help but wonder if you just don’t feel as strongly about me as I feel about you.”

She flinches at the last part, a sense of betrayal settling like rocks in her stomach. “Y—you think I use my anxiety as an excuse?”

“That is not what I said.”

“That’s what you implied.”

“No,” he stresses, clenching his jaw. “You’re purposely misunderstanding me.”

“Why are you here, Harry?”

Puzzled green eyes stare back at her. “What?”

“This has clearly been on your mind for some time now. If you really think that I don’t feel strongly about you, that my anxiety is just some cover-up, then why are you still wasting your time with me?” Her heart thuds wildly in her chest as she spouts, “Is it just for the sex? Is that it? I mean, that’s why you came here tonight, right? Just for a quick fuck. And when you couldn’t have that, you decided to pick a fight with me.”

It was mean. Quite possibly—no, definitely—the meanest thing she has ever said to or about him. And it was undeserved. And she regrets the words as soon as they leave her mouth.

The expression on his face switches from disbelief to disgust to pure pain in a matter of seconds.

“Yeah,” he says, swallowing thickly. “You’re right. That’s what I’m here for, Y/N. Just a quick fuck. Because I’m some lowlife prick that would use you for sex and get mad when I can’t have it. You figured it out. Amazing job.” He claps his hands and stands up, taking long strides to the door.

“Wh—where are you going?” she stammers.

He ignores her and shoves his socked feet into his Vans. On shaky legs, she hurries over to him.

“H, where are you going?”

As his left hand reaches for the doorknob, she grabs his other one.

“No, wait, don’t go.”

“No, you’ve made it clear to me the kind of person you think I am. Thanks for your honesty, Y/N.” He speaks without looking at her. She can only see his side profile, but it’s enough to catch the tears forming in his eyes.

He tries to pull his hand away, but she squeezes it tighter, pleading with him, “I didn’t mean it. Please don’t go. Baby, please—”

“I’m tired, Y/N,” he sighs out, sounding utterly exhausted. “I just want to go home.”

He manages to yank his hand free from her grasp and leaves the apartment, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Y/N stands there, staring at it for the longest time, before making her way back to the couch in a daze.

She doesn’t know why she said it. He was just trying to explain his inner thoughts and feelings, not attacking her, but her brain latched onto that one comment about her anxiety and blew it way out of proportion. It struck a nerve somewhere inside her, reopening old wounds created by people in her past who invalidated her struggles.

But Harry is nothing like those people. No, he is a far cry from them. No one has shown her the level of kindness and understanding that he has, and she fears that no one else ever will, which makes the thought of losing him catastrophically more painful.

She lies down on her side on the couch, curling her legs into herself as the first sob of many escapes her body.

***

The big day has arrived.

Y/N’s very first solo art exhibition that she’s been working her ass off on for the past few months takes place tonight. The gallery that offered to display her work made an agreement with her to donate a portion of the profits to a local mental health charity—something that Y/N has always wanted to do. She’s always dreamed of using her art to give back to causes that matter to her, and she is finally at the stage where she can do that.

Her art career has taken off this past year. She was doing well before, but this year has catapulted her career to heights she couldn’t have imagined. She knows Harry has a lot to do with it, since the limited edition merch she designed for him attracted millions of new eyes to her work, not to mention the fact that she started dating him afterwards, which further piqued people’s curiosity about her as a person and an artist. But Harry, being the humble man he is, argues that it’s her talent that keeps bringing people back to her work, not him.

Whether he admits it or not, Harry has changed her life in more ways than one. Even if he never speaks to her again, she will be thanking him for the rest of her life.

Over the past week, she has typed a hundred different apologies to him, deleting each one without sending it, convincing herself that it’s not good enough, that he doesn’t want to hear from her, that he probably hates her guts.

She has missed him all week, but tonight, that feeling cements itself deep inside her chest, mixing perilously with the fear of having to talk about her art with strangers. It would’ve helped to have Rosie here at least, but her fiancé’s mother was in the hospital after a medical emergency and she needed to be there for them.

Y/N feels incredibly alone.

The people working at the gallery have been lovely. She hardly had to do anything at all because they took care of the entire setup. Now, they’re preparing the refreshments table, and just the mere sight of all that food is making her nauseous.

As hard as she tries to keep her shit together, she crumbles and bolts towards the exit. One of the gallery workers tries to inform her that the exhibit is about to start, but she barely hears him through her heart pounding in her ears. Once outside, she starts walking down the sidewalk in a random direction and finds an opening between two buildings where she can take a moment to herself, away from other people.

The fresh air entering her lungs is somewhat soothing, so she tries to focus on that, leaning a hand against one of the buildings.

“Y/N?” says a deep, familiar voice from behind her.

It can’t be, she thinks to herself, but when she turns around, there he is. Standing on the sidewalk. Dressed in dark, indiscriminate clothing and a hat, which casts a shadow over most of his handsome features. He’s wearing his Gucci square-framed glasses that make him look like a college student.

“Harry? What are you doing here?”

He steps towards her, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I was sat in the cafe across the street, waiting for your exhibit to start. Saw you run out. Are you okay?”

Instead of answering his question, she asks in a weak voice, “You came to see my exhibit?”

“Of course I did,” he says, as if the concept of him missing it is unfathomable. He places his hands on his hips and adds with a faint smirk, “You think I, your number one fan, would miss out on your first solo exhibit? C’mon.”

Tears flood Y/N’s eyes, blurring her vision.

Harry’s face falls. “Oh no. Don’t cry, lovie.”

The tears streak down her cheeks now, ruining the makeup she spent so long on applying tonight. “I thought you hated me.”

He reaches towards her and delicately places his hands on her arms. “I could never hate you.”

“But you should! You should hate me because you’ve been nothing but patient and understanding with me and I treated you like shit in return and I hate myself for it and I’m so sorry—”

“It’s okay—”

“No, it’s not!”

“Shh, come here.” He pulls her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest, holding her there until she calms down. Then he draws back and lifts her chin to make her look at him. “Listen to me. I did not come here to make you cry and ruin your big night, okay? I came here to support you. Now you’re going to put on that beautiful smile of yours and you’re going to go back in there and you’re going to put on this wonderful exhibit—”

“I don’t think I can.” She shakes her head.

“Yes, you can. You’ve worked so hard for this, my love. You deserve this. Don’t let your fear tell you otherwise.”

She sniffles, thinking for a moment. “You’re going to be there?”

“Yes. The whole time,” he reassures her. “I promise to be discreet though. I’m not about to steal the spotlight from you.”

“I wouldn’t mind even if you did, to be honest.”

“See, that’s the fear talking.” He pokes her softly in the chest. “This is your night and your night only.”

A part of her wishes he would just pull her back into his arms and let her stay there forever, safe and warm and comfortable. But he’s right. She has worked too hard and come too far to allow fear to stifle her now.

“Okay,” she says finally. “Okay, I’m going to go back in.”

He smiles widely. “That’s my girl.” He kisses her and sends her off with a few more encouraging words.

For the first fifteen minutes of the exhibit, as the first batch of visitors trickle into the gallery, the voice in Y/N’s head is screaming at her to run out the nearest exit and not look back. It takes everything in her to keep her feet planted where she is and withstand the racing heart and the churning stomach and the sweaty palms.

It isn’t until people start coming up to her to ask questions about her art that she begins to feel any semblance of calm, which is surprising, considering that this is the part she was most afraid of. Once she gets into artist mode, articulating her artistic ideas and techniques in front of these strangers comes naturally.

She spots Harry every now and then, wandering around the gallery with everyone else, blending in remarkably well in his dark clothes and hat and glasses. At one point, while she’s talking to someone, she sees Harry in the distance, holding up his phone with the camera aimed at her. He winks when he catches her eye.

By the last half hour of the exhibit, Y/N’s throat is dry and hoarse from talking so much. She can’t believe how many people were interested in discussing her work with her.

While she’s taking a break to have some water, she hears someone shout, “There she is!”

She turns to find Jeff and Glenne walking towards her, smiling and waving like proud parents.

“So sorry we’re late,” says Glenne. “Traffic was a nightmare.”

Y/N shakes her head. “No, it’s totally fine. I didn’t even know you were coming.”

“Are you kidding?” says Jeff. “We’ve been looking forward to this.”

Y/N told them about the exhibit when she and Harry invited them over for dinner last month. She didn’t expect them to remember. The fact that they did means everything.

“We were going to buy something, but it looks like everything’s sold out, huh?” says Jeff, looking around.

“Oh, we’re so coming early for the next one,” says Glenne.

Y/N smiles at the determination in her voice. “Thank you for coming. You guys have no idea how much it means to me.”

Her heart is so full. Whereas the night started with her feeling petrified and alone, she now feels more loved and supported than ever. To say that the exhibit was a success is an understatement, and having Harry, Jeff, and Glenne all there for her was the cherry on top because success tastes so much sweeter when you have people to share it with.

***

Harry is bursting with pride. Watching Y/N put on this exhibit tonight has been quite a treat. She has blossomed from someone who used to not think very highly of her artistic capabilities into a self-assured artist right before his eyes, and he has loved being able to witness her growth.

Now they’re at his house, having Thai food, and Y/N, who hasn’t eaten all day due to nerves, is devouring everything so quickly that he worries he might not have ordered enough food for them. Luckily, that doesn’t end up being the case.

Afterwards, as they’re placing their dishes in the sink, Y/N tells him, “I saw you sneaking pictures of me at the exhibit. Like a little fanboy.”

He laughs. “I hope you don’t mind. You just looked so in your element.”

She bites her lip. “Can I see them?”

“Sure.” He takes his phone out of his pocket and opens up his camera roll. He places it on the counter so they can both look together.

Each photo shows Y/N talking to people who came to see her work, her hands poised in the air as she describes her creative process or her inspiration behind a specific piece.

“You look so confident,” he comments. “And happy.” He looks up at her from his phone and nudges her softly with his arm. “I’m proud of you.”

For a second, it seems like she’s about to break down into tears again but then contains herself.

“I really don’t deserve you,” she says.

He gives her a gentle look, knowing that she’s referring to the hurtful words she fired at him that night in her apartment. The words that burrowed deep under his skin for a few days until he gained some clarity and realized that she’d only said them because she felt attacked, that she didn’t actually believe them. Of course, that didn’t make it okay, but it did soften him towards her a little. And knowing Y/N, he could safely assume that she was far angrier at herself than he was at her.

“Y/N, I know you didn’t mean what you said. I mean, it still fucking hurt, but I know they were just words said in the heat of the moment… Right?”

“Yes,” she replies without hesitation. “And I’m so sorry, not just about what I said that night, but also what I didn’t say about my family, for hiding that from you.”

“No, I never should’ve pushed you to tell me in the first place.”

“But you never pushed me, Harry.” She turns her body towards him fully, leaning against the counter. “You just asked because you were curious about that part of my life, the same way I was curious about your family before I met them. It’s just that my family is… They’re nothing like yours. It’s not like they’re terrible people. They’re just not warm or affectionate, and they see any display of emotion as a sign of weakness.”

He quirks a brow. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, lovie, but they sound like robots.”

“You’re not far off,” she replies with a shrug. “They have this toughness, this stoic resolve that I used to envy when I was younger, until I realized that I didn’t want to be like that at all. As a child though, when your whole family is like that and you’re the anxious one who can’t get your emotions under control, it’s hard to feel normal. My parents didn’t know how to handle my anxiety, so they tried to mold me into them, and when that didn’t work, they just started denying my feelings altogether. Every time I would try to talk about my feelings, they would shut me down, tell me to suck it up and toughen up and stop being so goddamn sensitive.”

Hearing that makes Harry’s chest ache. Y/N is a sensitive person, sure, but he never viewed that as a shortcoming. In fact, it’s one of the many things that drew him to her because he is the same way. His sensitivity has allowed him to be more empathetic in his relationships and more vulnerable in his music—qualities that he also noticed in Y/N.

“I got tired of trying to explain it to them,” she continues, “so I left and tried to make something out of my art career. And God, my parents hated that. They were never the creative types; they thought anything related to art was a waste of time. They kept telling me I was wasting my potential to be something bigger, something better than an artist. And at one point, I started believing them, but then I met people like Rosie, who weren’t emotionless robots and who actually appreciated art for what it is.

“And I made a life for myself out here, pouring my heart and soul into my art, and I’ve tried so hard to keep this new, amazing part of my life separate from that part because I don’t want them to ruin this for me.”

“That’s why you didn’t want me to meet them?” he asks gently.

“Well, that and the fact that they’re convinced that you’re just some hotshot superstar stringing me along while sleeping with ten other girls at the same time because they don’t see how someone like you could ever fall in love with someone like me. And they make sure to remind me of that every time I go see them, which is just so fun,” she says sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Harry doesn’t really care that her parents see him as some pompous asshole obsessed with sex. What does bother him, however, is that they try to make Y/N feel like she somehow doesn’t meet his standards, that she isn’t good enough for him because that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“How come you still visit them?” he asks. “Not judging, just curious.” If it were up to him, he would never let them see her again.

She sighs. “I don’t know. I guess I always felt obligated to? I felt like they did care about me, even if they sucked at showing it. But the older I get and especially this past year, I feel less obligated to put up with their shit. I’ll probably keep visiting for now, just not as often anymore.”

“You don’t have to deal with them alone, you know.” He takes her hand in his. “I’m more than willing to go along for moral support.”

“That’s really sweet, but… It’s hard enough hearing them say disrespectful things about you when you’re not there. If you were there, I think I might start throwing hands.”

He chuckles. The idea of his dear sweet Y/N, who couldn’t hurt a fly, threatening to fight her family for disrespecting him makes him melt inside.

“Okay, well, I understand if you’d prefer to go on your own,” he says. “My offer still stands though, if you change your mind.”

She smiles. “Thank you. I appreciate that. And I promise to be more open and honest with you moving forward. I really am trying.”

“I know you are.” He looks down at their hands, rubbing his thumb over the back of hers. “Can’t be easy when you were told to bury your feelings down all through your childhood.”

“Yeah…”

When he looks up from their hands, he finds a peculiar look on her face, her eyes tender and almost hypnotic as they stare back at him.

He frowns slightly. “What?”

She shakes her head. “Nothing. Just feeling extra lucky tonight.”

“Oh.” He smiles, nearly blushing under her intense gaze. “Sooo, when’s the next exhibit? Because I have some suggestions.”

Her brows lift up curiously. “Suggestions?”

“Yeah, mostly for the refreshments table. I feel it was a bit lacking.”

She gasps. “Not the refreshments table! I worked so hard on that!”

“Hm, well, clearly not hard enough.”

She pouts. He chuckles and pinches her bottom lip before leaning in for a kiss, stopping just by her lips.

“I love you so much,” he whispers.

“Love you more.” She completes the kiss.

***

Thank you for reading! For more anxious!reader and other fics, check out my MASTERLIST

[dustedmagazine]

Los Campesinos! — All Hell (Heart Swells)

In a way, 2013’s NO BLUES was the end of a particular version of Los Campesinos! and for reasons that had little to do with their personnel changes over the years since 2006. The septet is far from the first (or last) band to experience the music industry leaving them for dead in a ditch for a lack of profit, and sadly also not the only ones to get one of their best albums caught up in that moment. So, everyone returned to (or got) day jobs and although they never exactly split up, it took some time to determine that, yes, Los Campesinos! was still really going to keep going. But if 2017’s excellent Sick Scenes was proof of concept of Los Campesinos!’s vitality and potential, the new, even more self-motivated ethos has led to both the longest break between albums yet and (recency bias be damned) their strongest LP.

Readers of Dusted don’t need to be reminded that financial success does not necessarily correlate with any particular merit, but that the entirely in house All Hell (self-financed, self-produced, on their own label) wound up as their first UK top 40 record (14 with a bullet!) is at the very least a testament to how many people were waiting for this record and how satisfying they found it. In Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie’s classic music-as-magic comic book Phonogram, one of the main characters describes Los Campesinos! (before they’d even put out a record) to another as “They’re never going to be big big. But they’re going to be big to some people.” Increasingly, it seems that those people have found them. If you go to an LC! show in 2024 fully half or more of the crowd are kids who were not listening to records when Hold on Now, Youngster… came out in 2008, a delightful product of the band just resolutely doing what they do for close to 20 years now.

All Hell is a stirring reminder of what that is, exactly. Their Bandcamp page still describes them as “The UK’s first and only emo band,” and that fine blend of sarcasm, sincerity, standoffishness, insight, and a certain love of starting an argument still sums up some of frontman Gareth David’s authorial voice (although it doesn’t include his incredibly vivid and compelling way with both political and romantic heartache and longing). Guitarist and (here) producer Tom Bromley continues to write incredible songs for David to drop punchlines and emotional haymakers over, and has also burnished this into easily the best sounding Los Campesinos record to date. At this point these seven members have been playing together since 2014 and can turn on a dime and nail pretty much any melodic/emotional register they need to, harsh or comforting, anthemic or plangent.

Fans are likely to draw comparisons to 2010’s Romance Is Boring, often considered a high-water mark. The last three records followed the same straightforward format: 10-11 songs, 40-42 minutes. Romance Is Boring was their most complex, lengthy, and interconnected record, and there’s an ambition here that makes them feel like siblings (possibly partly the result of having more time to build up material). The 15 songs here in just under 50 minutes, with three numbered tracks splitting the record into rough sections, feels sprawling and expansive after the tighter organization of the last few.

You can really feel that extra decade-plus in the structures, songwriting, and sonics of All Hell, but the polish and compositional sophistication here don’t belie a lack of fire. “The Coin-Op Guillotine” is easily the gentlest opener they’ve ever done; there’s bleakness there (“I think I’m right, I don’t think it matters”) but the refrain still centers on the kind of community and solidarity that they’ve been trying to practice from business/concert practices on down: “if you’ve got a cross to bear/call my name, I’ll see you there.” And even there it’s still about our current dystopia, and the title clearly refers to more than just the arcade game.

And sure enough, the following “Holy Smoke (2005)” immediately snarks that “nowadays it’s Live Laugh Love and Listen to Death From Above” over a headlong sprint (one of many places here where drummer Jason Adelinia is a crucial force). Even the magnificent “Feast of Tongues” (which arguably boasts a couple of the band’s best choruses to date), which swells from pensive backing “ooh”s and strings to one of the biggest, hardest hitting climaxes here, specifies that the title refers to when “we will feast on the tongues of the last bootlickers.”

As always, one of the challenges of writing about Los Campesinos! (as well as one of the joys of listening to them) is there are simply too many quotable lines, especially if you’re interested in the ways they refer back to their own history (dropping the “please” from the Romance Is Boring-era “can we all please just calm the fuck down?” as a teeth-gritted acknowledgment of how much less reasonable those they’re addressing have gotten since then) or just a good joke (if, say, “do you still have that one tattoo?/that’s how they work, of course you do” doesn’t work for you, another one will be along soon). And as much as All Hell is rich in the band’s traditional strengths, there are still moments of expansion. The crunching switchbacks of “Clown Blood/Orpheus’ Bobbing Head” are maybe the most aggro they’ve ever been, and the sweetly gloomy “kms” features Kim Paisey taking lead vocals for the first time.

Given the way the last two records have ended with some of their heaviest, weightiest songs, as they kick into the room-levelling angst of “0898 HEARTACHE” it feels like just that sort of crescendo. Instead, All Hell actually ends with the humbler melancholy of “Adult Acne Stigmata.” It’s the closest Los Campesinos! have come to an acoustic ballad, with multi-tracked Gareths sighing “it’s all hell, we know too well/it’s all hell” in the background. From another band, it might risk pathos or bathos; from Los Campesinos, it’s practically comforting. In the midst of inferno, we can all sing, and thrash, along.

Ian Mathers

[honeysylvan]

River Blake for Rock of Love, the bachelor challenge by @rainymoodlet!

Information under the cut!

BIOGRAPHICAL

Name: River Blake Age: 29 Pronouns: they/she Gender: Nonbinary Sexuality: Bisexual Traits: Music Lover, Loyal, Adventurous, Perfectionist*, Foodie*, +Domestic | Headstrong, Argumentative, Compassionate, Brave Aspiration: Big Happy Family Degree: N/A Career: Head Mixologist (Chef - Mixologist branch) Likes & Dislikes: black, blue, alternative music, retro music, singer songwriter music, family-motivated sims, idealist sims, emotional decision-makers, physical intimacy, stories, cooking, mixology, photography, rock climbing, singing, snowboarding, writing | pink, winter holiday music, egotistical sims, deception, malicious interactions, bowling, gardening, knitting, mischief Skills: Baking - 4 | Charisma - 6 | Comedy - 4 | Cooking - 7 | Dancing - 3 | Fitness - 3 | Guitar - 5 | Mixology - 9 | Photography - 3 | Rock Climbing - 6 | Snowboarding - 7, Writing - 6

*more traits in CAS mod

STORY

River had a perfectly normal, happy, boring childhood in Copperdale—up until they were 13, and a drunk driver robbed River of their parents, older sister, and left eye. They spent the next five bouncing from foster home to foster home as a traumatized, difficult teen with a penchant for getting into trouble. The day they turned 18, they moved to San Myshuno to become a singer-songwriter. But making it big is easier said than done, and the occasional gig doesn’t pay the bills. Struggling to make it on their own, they got a job as a bartender, and ended up loving it—not just the chance to meet new, interesting people and make fun drinks, but also to lend an ear to those who need it. Singing and writing songs became a hobby rather than a career, and River began saving up money to finally get the university degree that they never had the funds to pursue. No one expected River—headstrong, argumentative, thrill-seeking River—to announce that they wanted to become a music therapist, but to River, it just made sense: where else could they combine their love of music with their desire to help those who had been through traumatic situations like them?

But a career wasn’t the only thing River was after. At the end of the day, creating music, working as a bartender, becoming a therapist—it was all River’s way of searching for connection. Their real dream was having a big, happy family of their own. They’ve had a few failed relationships—ones that haven’t been very long-term—and despite wanting to make things work, they can’t seem to find the right person.

River’s never been one for reality TV, dating apps, or any combination thereof, but when they saw the advertisement for Rock of Love, they decided to give it a shot—there was just something about Jackson Roth that called out to them. Could this be their chance to find that real, genuine connection they keep searching for?

FUN FACTS

Is an excellent mixologist and makes a mean cocktail, but their own favorite drink is whiskey neat

While they mostly mix drinks, they are a good cook and baker as well

Never had a pet before, but thinks the company would be nice

Has quite a few scars: one on their face (which blinded their left eye) and several on their body from the accident, as well as scars from their top surgery/reduction they saved up for when they were 21

Got a snake tattoo on the left side of their torso/hip when they were 18, to represent renewal/rebirth, and might get more tattoos in the future

Slow to trust, but loyal as hell once they do

Loves Halloween, and loves finding costumes that incorporate eye patches because they think it’s hilarious (they have a good sense of humor about the whole “blind-in-one-eye” thing, despite the circumstances)

Sometimes people mistake their eyes for black, but they’re actually a very dark blue

Has had multiple different hair colors before, but their natural (and current) color is black

Dislikes Christmas music because they haven’t had a good Christmas since their family died

Private DL if chosen. Thank you so much for considering them!

[jacob-blogs]

Okay I can give you a Kendrick and Drake beef rundown. Apologies if I’m explaining shit you already know but IDK your background on this so I’ll be thorough just to make sure.

Major Characters:

Drake. Aubrey Graham, AKA Drake, is extremely financially successful, but not very well respected in actual hip hop scenes. He’s generally seen as a culture vulture because of his privileged child actor background and white suburban upbringing putting him at odds with other people in hip hop culture. Also, in 2018, he very publicly lost his beef with another rapper named Pusha T, who revealed he had a secret newborn son named Adonis. Lastly, he has a long history of being kind of a misogynistic creep, the worst parts being a history of being sketchy around underaged girls.

Kendrick. Kendrick Lamar is an extremely respected rapper, though his songs aren’t always the most radio friendly and he doesn’t release them super frequently. He’s extremely artistically minded, though, and is one of those artists who’s just so good they can feel borderline untouchable. If I had to pick a rapper who was the consensus greatest at the moment among big hip hop heads, it would be Kendrick.

Backstory: Drake and Kendrick are arguably the two biggest rappers right now. A third rapper, J. Cole, had a lyric about the “big 3” in October naming himself, Kendrick, and Drake. The second part is that in March, Kendrick had a bar where he said “fuck the big 3, it’s just big me.” Cole tried beefing back, dipped out pretty quick.

Drake released two diss tracks against Kendrick on April 19, Push Ups and Taylor Made Freestyle. The latter was especially controversial because he used AI to replicate the voice of Tupac, which is… a huge no-no.

Last Tuesday, Kendrick finally responded with his first track, Euphoria. It was what people were expecting, for the most part: he went in on Drake in the ways a diss track normally would, just with extra finesse since he’s Kendrick. Still an excellent record on its own.

On Friday morning, he released 6:16 in LA on Instagram, which mostly got attention for implying that Kendrick had a mole from among Drake’s own crew. Also, the cover image was an image of a black glove.

On Friday evening, Drake released his response to Euphoria, Family Matters. Among other things, Drake accused Kendrick of beating his wife, though since Drake has a history of lying people are unsure how seriously to take that. Notably, though, some of Drake’s bars seem to have been preempted by Euphoria, which lends some credence to the idea that he may have a leaker.

Only thirty minutes after Family Matters dropped, Kendrick released Meet the Grahams, which directly responded to several things Drake said, which confirms he has a leaker. Not to mention, the cover image was a zoomed out version of the 6:16 image, which now includes items like literal receipts and prescription bottles of Ozempic and Ambien with Drake’s legal name on them. So this photo was taken inside Drake’s mansion. The song itself is the equivalent of bringing a switchblade to a cage fight, and among other things drops that Drake also has a secret 11 year old daughter, as well as it accuses him of being a pedophile and a sex trafficker. This song is why everybody’s talking right now. Nothing like this has happened before.

Anyways, Kendrick dropped another track tonight, but the dust hasn’t quite settled on that yet so I won’t say too much.

Thank you sooo much for the context.

Rap as a genre is always interesting to me because it's characterized so much by not only the songwriting and lyrics, but also the messiness and drama that goes on behind the scenes. I don't necessarily listen to it on the daily, but it would be insane not to recognize the cultural influence it has on American pop culture. And hell, up until recently tumblr was a huge supporter of Drake through his weird career decisions.

But like.... homie's gotta hang it up flat screen. Drake and his team of ghost writers literally ain't got shit on K. Dot. Like how can you pay folks actual money to take up in your defense over a dance beat while this other dude's dishing out bar after bar of straight fire getting after you, your career, your family, your crew, your lies, your shitty behavior...

Like okay, it's a rap battle but also this has got to be THEE cultural reset of 2024

[ga-u-1737]

The Silent Idol: Stuck in a mind of Stardom

Chapter 1

Mount Rageous.

Mount Rageous is a place of wonder. Full of wishes and fame of any kind. It's mostly full of teens and young adults, having that 80's and 90s feel while living there or even visiting the place.

Like in any other world, they have celebrities of all kinds, singers and performers being the most popular out of all of them. There are tons of famous singers and songwriters in Mount Rageous, but the most well known are the overnight twin celebs, Velvet and Veneer.

They are well known for their top songs "Watch me Work" and another "Mount Rageous(the song)," they are also well known for being really talented with their work.

Especially since they were invited and accepted to perform at the Rage Dome Show tonight.

Tons and tons of crazy fans were excited to see them at the show, especially Velvet who was mostly everyone's favorite for how she sings and performs. But what was supposed to be an excited and glorious night ended up turning into of what the Mount Reagons calls it, "The Dome show Incident''

***

It was almost time for the Rage Dome Show to start, everyone was pushing each other just so they could see the twin pop stars live on stage. The Rage Dome was a thing every singer and performer dreamed of going to, Velvet was in her make-up room, carefully adding her lipstick around her mouth.

She grabbed a dash of blush around her face, before looking at herself in the mirror. Breath slowly

She always dreamed of being famous ever since she was a little kid, now making it this far in her life, at only 19, almost 20 years old. Having books about her and her twin brother Veneer, being interviewed, meet and greets, and praised by thousands and thousands of fans, some even draw fanart of them

Now performing in the Rage dome show, it seems like everything was wrapped around her finger, finally having everything she wanted, everything she dreamed of and wished for,

“Ten minutes till showtime” Crimp, who was Velvet and Veneer’s assistant, called out on the door, tapping very slightly which caught Velvet off guard a bit.

“In a minute Crimp,” Velvet called out, sounding annoyed, she added the final touches of her hair and added her performance costume.

She walked out the door gracefully, noticing her brother Veneer near the outside door, looking a bit impatient.

“Took you long enough to get ready,” Veneer scoffed, his arms crossed.

Velvet rolled her eyes groaning in the process. “Well, if we, or me are going through the Rage Dome Show, we need to look our best.” She brushed her chest contraption for any spec of dirt or dust. “I don't want to be caught dead with my face looking like a old woman”

Veneer shook his head slightly and sighs. He loves his sister dearly, but sometimes she can be a pain sometimes, especially her obsession with fame and money.

But he doesn’t let it ruin his mood, she’s still his older sister and he likes seeing her happy, and if anything, he will do anything for her to be happy and pleased.

“Showtime is starting in just 4 minutes” A producer yelled out of the outside door.

It was almost time.

Velvet slowly breathed in and out, ready for the show to begin. “Ready for this?” Velvet asked, pulling a hand out to Veneer. “Pretty soon we will become mega stars and have everything we wanted and dreamed of”

Her smile made Veneer perk up, grabbing and shaking her hand with delight. “Always have been, always will.”

***

The show was going amazing, great even. Screaming fans were buzzing with energy and excitement as they saw the two popstar duo were giving their all during their performance, giving an excelling performance of their latest single, “Mount Rageous.”

Everyone went crazy as Velvet sang the last few verses reaching up a high note, people were practically almost fainting of the twin popstars. The crowd cheered as the two finished the last note of the song, praying for them for an encore, the stage flooded with bright lights and cameras filming the two.

“I’m pretty sure, you guys want an encore!” Velvet shouted at the microphone, making the fans go berserk. She laughed gently, listening to the lovely cheers and happy comments shouted towards her and Veneer.

“Okay then!” Both Velvet and Veneer looked at each other both with eagerling smiles, snapping their fingers.

The lights went pitch dark, another song starting to transition, fans stimulated and shrieked over it, ecstatic for the show playing one more song for them.

But a horrific blood-curdling scream disrupted the cheers and applause, the lights went on, bright lights surrounding the huge stage. The crowd went dead silent, holding their breath.

The cameras aimed and focused on the stage, seeing the tragic scene unfold. The audience is silent, the only sound was uncontrollable crying and weeping of Veneer, holding Velvet tightly not letting go of her. Her body was pale, unresponsive, her breathing was shallow sounding uneven and a pool of blood continued to spew from her head surrounding her, staining hers and Veneer’s clothes.

That didn’t matter to him, he didn’t care that his mascara was streaming down his face, his makeup completely ruined from crying.

“Someone help, please!” Veneer cried out, still clutching his sister tight in his arms, “Please my sister is dying please!”

The Medical team worked carefully and efficiently as they tried to stabilize and revive Velvet from near death, checking her vitals and administering first aid.

The ambulances sirens were screaming and flashing lights of red and blue, everyone around panicked and was terrified of what was happening.

“What’s going on?”

“Is Velvet alright, what happened?”

“What the hell happened, did she fall?!”

“What’s gonna happen to her?”

Whispers were spreading from left to right in the audience, trying to figure out what happened seconds ago.

The paramedics carefully put Velvet in the stretcher and carried her to the ambulance

Eventually, the vehicle left in a rush, speeding through the traffic on the road. The injured Velvet lay in the stretcher, with the breathing tube that was helping her breathe stability.

She opened her eyes only slightly, the siren noises invading her ears.

She was in and out of consciousness and in severe pain, trying to take in what was happening around her. She shook slightly, the constant disturbing noises of cars and the ambulance siren made her feel uneasy, the deafening noises were all blurred into one unsettling roar that was difficult to bear and hear through small ears.

The noise made her already bleeding aching head even worse, forcing her to close her eyes tight, holding back a few tears from the electrifying throbbing headache.

The sudden jolts from the ambulance made the pain if not already unbearable to begin with, a few tears streamed down her cheeks, she never experienced this type of pain before, she clenched her hands tight hoping for the pain going from all over her body to end

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Veneer sat silently and patiently in the waiting room, eyes darting towards the other Rageons. Young adults, some with children, and the elderly were scattered across the room, in their own thoughts and worries. Few of his fans who were also in the waiting room recognized and whispered about the recent incident.

Too concerned about his sister’s well-being and health, the idol tries to ignore the constant whispers and uncomfortable stares, remaining quiet and closed off.

“Excuse me, is Veneer here?” A nurse, coming from the hallway behind her, holding a clipboard in her hands, her face full of concern and worry.

“Um, yes I’m here miss” Veneer responded, walking towards the nurse, he sighed and fixed his composure,

“Is my older sister gonna be alright?” He asked, looking directly in her eyes, tears starting to form under his mascara.

The nurse clenched her hand onto the clipboard as she looked at the notes on Velvet. She didn’t want to give him false hope and unrealistic expectations. She put the clipboard away from her hands before responding with gentle honesty and genuine sincerity.

“Your sister Velvet is currently in critical condition, but she is stable. We just operated on her and are observing her and monterting her heartbeat and brain activity at the moment.

“Is it okay if I visit her for a bit?”

The nurse shook her head slightly.

“Unfortunately, visiting hours are close to finishing. And we are keeping a close eye on her as I said earlier, so I'm afraid that you won’t be able to visit her today.” She took the popstar’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“We are doing our best to rescue her. She is in good hands and we are doing everything they can to make sure she goes back to her regular everyday life.” She says softly, wiping the tears from Veneer’s face.

Her sad yet gentle smile made Veneer light up a bit, only a bit though.

“I promise as soon as Velvet’s a little more stable then I'll provide you with enough information on her condition and her injuries.” the nurse soothed, giving her one final smile before letting go of his hand

Veneer wiped the final tears from his eyes, a tad bit of mascara smearing in his face. “Okay then…Please let my sister be okay.” Veneer sniveled, he walked away from the waiting room, taking deep breaths to calm himself down and cool his nerves.

Not before long, he found himself opening the door to his and Velvet's place, he felt the familiar surroundings. He turned on the bright dimmed lights wanting to see everything clearly, everything was exactly where it was when they left, as if no time had passed and the Rage Dome Show and the whole incident was just a nightmare.

If it was, Velvet would’ve been already in bed exhausted and tucked under the covers like a tired toddler, while he would eat something he would command Crimp to make for dinner, and watch tv or a movie on the big screen hanging on the wall before going to bed himself.

But it wasn’t, though he deeply wished it was. The traumatic memory from the Rage Dome show invaded his mind, he wanted to erase and forget it but he couldn’t ignore the fact that his older twin sister experienced a horrific accident during one of the best things she dreamed of and wished for.

The guilt and worry was eating him away, he started to shake again, unable to process what happened hours ago and the fear of what Velvet is going through, being in horrible pain and aching.

He didn’t feel hungry nor the need to get a quick midnight snack, even though he needed something to eat. He didn't have the motivation or energy to command Crimp to make him something

He slumped on the couch, feeling exhausted and numb, hoping to find some distraction from his worries on Tv. However it was only showing the news about what happened at the Rage Dome Show. He turned it off quickly, not wanting to remember the traumatic and stressful event.

Right now all he wanted was to be alone with his thoughts, trying to process everything.

He headed to his bedroom, his body fatigued, exhausted, and drained. He collapsed onto the king size bed, pulling the covers almost above his head. He was both tired physically and emotionally, trying to process the trauma both he and Velvet experienced and the memories of the accident.

He hopes to forget it permanently and everything to go back to normal but he knew that was impossible.

The horrifying images of Velvet, the blood, and the constant worry if she will be okay made him overwhelmed, the guilt weighing him down and his heart sinking.

Despite his efforts, he remained awake, constantly tossing and turning in bed. The thoughts of images of Velvet covered in blood kept invading his mind, making it difficult to relax and sleep. Tears formed in his eyes again, filled with the constant guilt and regret.

After a while, he succumbed to tiredness and drifted to a deep sleep after many times of turning and tossing in bed.

His thoughts still filled with the memory of his sister's condition, but eventually was able to rest and escape the harsh reality, ready to escape the sleep provided for him with his mind going blank.

An au where Velvet and Veneer are actually talented in this but Velvet almost dies

Part 2

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

Parker Thenope

(I’ve already made an information post like this, but said post is pretty long; in fact, it’ll just get longer and more expansive as I develop new characters and stories for [The Future Mob Project]. And I’m worried that the sheer length will make readers lose interest when they click on a link to look for a specific character. So, I’ll be making separate information pages for each character while still maintaining the all-inclusive post. Got it? Good.)

Who He’s Based Off Of: Nathan Sharp (NateWantsToBattle/Give Heart Records)

His Method of Work: There are several ways to be adept in water. Such as holding a person under it until they stop moving, or drenching a person over and over again until they give up the information you need. Which is exactly how Parker earns his keep. His assignments often involve haunting the local beach—or, more precisely, the cluster of shallow sea-caves along the beach’s edges. But in a pinch, he’s willing to use pools/hot tubs/etc. to his advantage (it just means he’ll have to be clever with how he goes about the job). 

Red Attire: Face-mask (Carmine) 

Notes:

Parker is the personification of “it’s always the quiet ones who snap the loudest.” Sure, he’s cooperative and understanding toward his peers in The Pentas Family, but underneath his chill, humorous, nonchalant veil lurks a bit of a ticking time-bomb. As a child, it was constantly drilled into him to camouflage his real emotions, to always appear calm and collected on the outside. If you’ve done something to majorly piss him off, then really, your only chance is to hide and hope he doesn’t find you. 

Fittingly enough, his hobbies include swimming. He learned at a very young age, so, it’s safe to say that he’s excellent at following the flow of water, holding his breath for generous periods of time, etc. And who can blame him? It’s a lot of fun, it’s great exercise, and it allows him to have the upper hand whenever he happens to also be in the water while taking care of a target.

When it comes to anything music-related, he’s incredibly skilled. Not only does he have a lovely singing voice, but he’s an expert on playing guitar, drums, and even the piano on occasion. Music is a very effective form of stress-relief, and he’s been using it as such long before he entered the underground business. 

He’s very familiar with Ear Caffeine, a music studio in the Cove Port Inlets. He works there as a songwriter/lyricist, as well as a session musician, though he’s now basically in charge of the place ever since its former owners disappeared into thin air. (The building is connected to the abandoned subway tunnels, and Parker was instrumental—pun vERY MUCH INTENDED—to The Pentas Family claiming it as part of their territory.)  

On top of that, Parker also owns Chord Craft, a combination of record store and instrument-repair shop on the side. He was the head-honcho over there before he was welcomed into the mob, and while he’s since hired more people to run it, he still cares for it. 

Even before he joined The Pentas Family, he made a point to wear a face mask every day (he sees the red one he wears now as an upgrade). He only ever takes it off when he’s swimming, bathing, or sleeping. He doesn’t have any scars to cover up; he just finds comfort in personal anonymity. 

He’s learned to consider all the different ways decomposition can work in watery areas. Just because his signature is to drown targets doesn’t mean he can always afford to just leave their bodies floating. It’s not uncommon for him to seek out Murdock, arranging to take a ride on the hitman’s houseboat in order to dump certain bodies far out from the Inlets’ boundaries. 

Current Stories: [TBA]

@sammys-magical-au @th3w00ds

[thesinglesjukebox]

LAINEY WILSON - "HANG TIGHT HONEY"

On the road again...

[6.78]

Alfred Soto: For a while Lainey Wilson was a secret a couple of us critics passed around. Then she enjoyed a helluva 2022 and 2023. Blessed with a twang equal parts dulcet and tensile, she's terrific inhabiting ballads and excellent on hootchie-coos like "Hang Tight Honey," good enough as a song (check out the three-note guitar screech before the chorus) but as processed through Wilson's pipes a declaration of faith. [8]

TA Inskeep: The gasoline-revved single Miranda Lambert hasn't given us in years, this moves at a crazy (especially for mainstream country) clip. Jay Joyce's aggressive production gives this a thumping, propulsive, white-funky feel — akin to, I dunno, the James Gang's "Funk #49"? — while Wilson sells the hell out of it. Save the stupid line about her lover's "blue-collar kiss," this is great. [8]

Taylor Alatorre: A bit of lost songwriting wisdom from the pre-SoundScan era: if you rock out hard enough and unapologetically enough (and competently enough, though this is optional), you can make even a line like “blue-collar kiss” sound essential, like the song would suffer irreducibly if it were taken away. “Blue-collar kiss” doesn’t mean anything, just like a miniature “Highway Star” guitar solo doesn’t mean anything, just like shouting the song’s title in the middle of that guitar solo doesn’t mean anything. What it does do is further build up the sense that the singer, and by extension the listener, can get away with almost anything here — in this sonic universe, in this honky-tonk, or a well-crafted approximation thereof. What it does is make me type the words “lainey wilson tour” into Google as I’m writing this. [9]

Mark Sinker: Idly wondering “are road-songs still much of a thing (the way they used to be)?” when the middle eight kicks into full and quite surprising glam-stomp. Would the rest of the song be better if it fed more off this sound? Glimpses of the 70s can be nostalgic lovebombs, sure, but I don’t miss them. Because they sucked.  [5]

Ian Mathers: I'm going to remember my unaccountable animus towards this perfectly decent little song the next time I'm baffled that someone finds the markers of one of my preferred genres mysteriously enraging. But in the meantime, this is the best I can do for what might as well be nails on a chalkboard to me. [5]

Jonathan Bradley: Brick-walled bonhomie that's so weighed down by forced cheer that is has no chance at delivering the momentum it promises. [4]

Nortey Dowuona: Driver Williams can rip a good guitar solo, I guess? What does Jay Joyce have against drums?  [7]

Katherine St. Asaph: Southern comfort food served with oomph and familiarity. The sort of song where my musical gut refuses to agree with my rational mind that I haven't actually heard this at a dozen barbecues throughout my life. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: I'm an absolute sucker for these kinds of country-rock road warrior songs — I stand by my prior remarks that Luke Combs' "Doin' This" is a [10] — but this is more fun than most takes on the style. It breaks from Skynyrd-esque power balladry to harken back to something older and weirder, drawing on the loose, frenetic energy of Stax party records. It's a triumphant record, the organ stabs and guitar riffs and even that incessant "ooh-ooh-ooh" hook coming together to sound like a coronation while never losing the joy of its groove.  [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[hanarchy]

ok. because i love to talk about how jisung deserves to get the most parts and i STAND BY IT. i want to also say some things the other members bring to the table that none of the others can do or that they excel at beyond the others’ abilities.

like i dont like to pretend they are all equally talented in every area bc they aren’t. and i like jisung partly because the things he’s good at are what’s important to me (singin, rapping, songwriting)

but that doesn’t mean the other members aren’t talented in those areas AND i want to also say that kpop is a genre/culture where visual content, music videos and variety content are almost as important as music.

people love to argue about music quality and i think it’s a discussion that’s worth having BUT i personally believe that the main reason for kpops insane global expansion and popularity is that the industry is entirely unique in how well it uses the internet and social media to generate support and that means variety content and visual media.

and i believe editing/filmmaking/music video making and dance are art forms that stand on their own and that groups need a clear identity and creative vision.

ok so let’s go. unique talent by member.

bang chan:

music production. this one is obvious but it also needs to be repeated over and over. he is an insanely and uniquely talented producer.

work ethic. the dedication and willingness to sacrifice for his work is a LARGE part of what makes skz skz. they would not exist without it.

singing. he has a clear and open vocal that can serve SO many purposes.

lee know:

dancing. again this one is obvious. lee know is such a dance leader because he can not only execute choreographies but explain and develop them.

discipline. it is not a coincidence that he has taken on the role he has. it’s very obvious that he is dedicated to his job and inspires others to work hard in turn.

versatility. so, this one may be controversial and lino is definitely not the best vocalist or the best rapper in the group. but because of the second point, he has become a member that can fill spots that the others may be unable or unwilling to. he develops himself to become what the group needs and it has been apparent since he pivoted to rapping in the variety show.

changbin:

rapping. again, obvious. changbin has a sense of rhythm that is almost unparalleled in kpop. his experiments with it are jawdropping. (if ur interested u shd check out the carkpop youtube channel though i bet most people here already do)

lyricism. similar to bang chan, he is a very talented producer and songwriter but his mastery of language makes him stand out. this is not my opinion btw bc i do not know korean well enough to make that assessment, but i trust the people who say this.

personality. now i started out this list trying not to do this but. he is so stable and reliable as well as just good natured and supportive of the members. he is the older brother everyone needs and that translates to giving the members freedom to grow and develop, ultimately making the group and the music better.

hyunjin:

performance. of course hyunjin is an incredible dancer but it’s the demon that possesses him on stage that makes him so magnetic in my opinion. the combination of how much he loses himself in performance and his proficiency in dance is why he stands out.

visual. i hate doing this to him but. it needs to be mentioned. but being the visual or whatever doesn’t just mean being pretty. modeling takes skill. and he has it. dressing and presenting yourself takes effort. and he puts that in.

dedication to his creativity. hyunjin strives to become the best he can be. he understands that creativity is a knife that needs to be sharpened and he does it. every day and all the time and in many different disciplines. his rapping has improved immensely but so has his singing and his dancing and his painting and and and

jisung:

versatility. jisung has a range of rap deliveries and singing tones and registers that no one else in the group can touch. and versatility is so intrinsic and important to the group identity. this is of course taking for granted that he can even do both this well.

self-confidence in performing. jisung is the cheat key and the swiss army knife of the group because he knows he’s capable. he can take over almost anyone’s part because he knows he has the talent

joy in being an idol. he enjoys experimenting. he loves performing. he was born for this fucking job. i’ve said this before but it’s so rare that you get someone who is both a great songwriter and someone who truly thrives while performing. both of these qualities make skz skz and jisung is the poster child for both.

felix:

he draws people in. (this is 3 points wrapped in one) felix’s personality is what makes him invaluable in the group. he shines in variety content because he makes it brighter and kinder every time. he stands out by being talkative and sociable in interviews and taking on a speaker role alongside chan. many people you ask say felix is the first member they noticed. both his performance and his looks are part of that. both also take skill. much like hyunjin he is a great model and he very obviously takes care of his look and style. he may not always get big parts but he’s always showstopping and his rap skills have developed and grown to fill that role. he may have gotten his deep voice through sheer luck but the way he uses it (for example in victory song) is not luck. and again he shines when he performs. it’s in such a variety of ways too, half the fandom at one point seemed to have originated from that one tiktok. that’s not something any other member can do.

seungmin:

vocals. obvious, serious, so beautiful. skz could not do the balads they do without him.

dedication and discipline. much like lee know, he grew into the role he now fills in the group and he did so by working hard and looking for areas where the others can’t step up. and much like lee know, the other members followed him in that regard. they developed their singing skills partly because he did it first.

reliability. seungmin is the most obviously reliable member of skz. he is only so rarely absent from content or performances, he is present on bubble and on socials. he does well in variety content. the group couldn’t stand without him in the way it does now.

jeongin:

vocals. again again. i urge you to listen to him sing busan seagull. you can never get tired of that.

joy. he is the energizer bunny of this group. he gives the members energy when they are out. they obviously want to care for him, they obviously want to protect him.

willingness to grow. humility is so integral to skz and while innie has always been talented and always been dedicated, he so clearly has high standards for himself and looks to improve every day. that’s a core value of skz so much that they never stop talking about it.

ok. novel over. if you read all of this thank you. if u wanna chime in with what u think makes each member unique i would love that. if u wanna send me anon hate about this, honestly that’d be funny too.

[antitheticaldreamgirl-13]

I wrote this thingy…it’s like a Taylor 101 for people who hate her. I would love any comments/suggestions that would make it better!:

So, Taylor Swift. Let’s talk about her.

People say she is ditzy and stuck writing songs about her long list of ex-boyfriends. Her music is meaningless, popular but not spectacular in any way.

Hmm. That is actually a quite strange point of view.

She’s won 12 Grammys and been nominated for 46. She’s the most awarded artist in the American Music Awards and received more Billboard Music Awards than any other woman. She has won 23 MTV Awards, second only to Beyonce. 

But, sure, she’s just an idiot who only writes shallow pop songs. That makes tons of sense. (As you can see, I have no patience for Taylor-haters). 

Now, you might argue that these awards are often rigged and not a true marker of musical quality. You might argue that, for some unknown reason, most of us have been put under a magical spell, rendering us incapable of realizing the utter lack of quality of Taylor’s music. You’ve listened to perhaps five of her songs at best, and are more qualified to judge her excellence than any person well-versed in Taylor’s discography and certainly more knowledgeable than musical experts.  

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s not how it works. In fact, perhaps before declaring that Taylor Swift’s music is garbage, you could actually listen to it and try to, although perhaps uncomfortably, push through your instinct to hate it. Listen to her album Folklore (which, by the way, won Album of the Year), or Evermore, or any of her other albums. You may be surprised to hear this, but she has written more songs than Bad Blood and Shake It Off. Crazy, I know. 

Examples of her lyrics:

“I want auroras and sad prose / I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet

/ 'Cause I haven't moved in years.” - Lakes

“I’d meet you where the spirit meets the bones / In a faith forgotten land / In from the snow / your touch brought forth an incandescent glow / tarnished but so grand.” -Ivy

“If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? / Years of tearing down our banners, you and I / Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts / Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.” -Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

“You drew stars around my scars / But now I’m bleeding.” -Cardigan

“From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones / I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight / And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? / Just between us, did the love affair maim you too? / 'Cause in this city's barren cold / I still remember the first fall of snow / And how it glistened as it fell / I remember it all too well.” - All Too Well

“Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club / Our songs, our films, united we stand / Our country, guess it was a lawless land / Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand / Paper cut stings from my paper-thin plans.” -Death by a Thousand Cuts

These quotes are from 5 separate albums and are only a few of the many examples I could pull out. But yeah. She’s a horrible songwriter.

One might argue that most are uneducated and have only listened to her most famous hits, and I would completely agree. But, might I add that….her hits are not bad? Sure, Shake It Off and Bad Blood are definitely not her best ones, but what about Cruel Summer? Lover? Style? These are in no way bad. 

For example, here are some Cruel Summer lyrics:

“So cut the headlights, summer's a knife / I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone / Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes / And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know.”

Ummm..are these horrible lyrics? Hardly. The music itself, separate from the lyrics, is also good, so what exactly is the objection?

The Objection: It doesn’t matter if her individual lyrics are better than most songwriters out there, I’m annoyed that she’s talking about ex-boyfriends because I’m a sexist jerk!

Hmm. Perhaps this is just me, but I don’t find that argument particularly convincing.

Let me frame it this way. If I were to ask you What’s wrong with writing about breakups, about falling in love, about one of the most beautiful aspects of life?, what would you say? There is no concrete answer to this question.

And, anyhow, that’s the genius of Taylor Swift: while a majority of her songs are about relationships (although by no means all or even close to all), she writes about them in a different way each time. What does it matter if a songwriter talks about, say, the meaning of life but the way the meaning of life is discussed is utterly simplistic and cliche? We would discard it, call it garbage. More than anything, the way a songwriter writes the individual lyrics is more important than the overall topic.

The irony comes in when people claim that Taylor Swift is simplistic and one-dimensional, and yet the way people view her is just as simplistic and one-dimensional. They’ve listened to about five of her songs, from perhaps two or three of her albums, and then they proclaim she is bad. Meanwhile, they also claim that all her songs are simply meant for commercial success. Clearly, if one only listens to her most successful hits, then they could be excused for not knowing she writes songs that are not simply meant to appeal to the masses (although…like I said…her hits aren’t bad). They say she is bad because her hits are bad, and yet they are the ones who are focusing on her hits. Do they not realize the hypocrisy of this? 

Furthermore, why are we so averse to having fun? Why are we so afraid of anything not highly intellectual? If a song sounds good, why must we label it bad? Lyrics matter, yes, but what does it say about ourselves if we must constantly be original, unique, clever, philosophical? Are we really trying to learn, to think, to enjoy the complexity of the world, or are we, rather, trying to ignore our deepest fears, our insecurities, that tells us we must prove ourselves to the world? Not everything needs to be smart, and certainly not everything needs to be changed to seem complex. We supposedly view simple facts in a complex way so as to avoid dumbing down the truth, so as to avoid making the truth a piece of entertainment devoid of meaning, and yet, isn’t the act of complicating what does not need to be complicated so often the root of frivolous entertainment?  In fact, I would argue that Taylor’s best lyrics are often the simplest ones, ones that are direct and, as she would say, “cut to the bone.”

If you, dear reader, are a Taylor-hater, may I ask why? Which singers are you listening to instead who are so clearly superior to her? Name them for me. We’ll compare them to Taylor Swift. It’ll be fun.

Actually, I already regret saying this. I can already hear people screaming out the absolute best artists and songwriters of all time—John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell. Please. Why are acting so all-or-nothing, so black and white? To quote Taylor herself, stop “Comparing all the girls who are killin’ it.” Nuance. It’s a thing.

But, of course, is Taylor Swift so below these famous, incredibly culturally-impactful singers? Of course not. The point is that even if she was, that doesn’t automatically make her bad. After all, if everyone besides Michael Jackson was bad, then Michael Jackson wouldn’t have been incredible. Logic. It’s a thing.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not expecting everyone to love Taylor Swift or even simply like her. But I do expect people not to call her garbage regularly simply because they don’t feel like listening to anything beyond Bad Blood or simply because they can’t stand successful women or simply because they think she’s a slut. Some people just don’t like her style of music, but they should be able to respect her songwriting prowess. 

So, I’m asking, when you hear someone dissing her, don’t agree with them.

So, I’m asking, when you hear Taylor Swift on the radio, swallow your instinct to groan to everyone around about how horrible you think she is. 

So, I’m asking, to examine your motives for hating her and perhaps admit to yourself that your beliefs about her come more from a place of ignorance or even sexism than a true dislike of her music.

[twopoppies]

Why can’t people understand that everything you wrote doesn’t have to be literal or true lol. Stephanie Meyers wasn’t fucking real vampires when writing twilight, Ethel Cain is a singer songwriter who has just released an excellent concept album about a girl being cannibalised, even TS has said that she worried she wouldn’t be able to write breakup songs since she’s in a 6 year relationship but she still finds inspo in books films and friends. A song usually has to fit a rhyme scheme and even that can affect the choice of words used which can affect the message conveyed.

Because people like to try and understand their songs as if by doing so they'll understand H/L better and feel closer to them that way. But they ignore the fact that even songs that seem very personal may not be about their personal experiences. It's like talking to a brick wall, though. We've all said this over and over again and I'll still get anons saying "I think xyz" and you just kind of have to shrug and say, "okay. You're allowed to feel whatever you want." And then you can agree or not agree and move on.

[dustedmagazine]

Dusted Mid-Year 2023, Part One

Meg Baird photo by Rachael Cassells

It’s halfway through another year, and while that doesn’t seem possible, the trail of good-to-excellent releases argues otherwise. We celebrate as always by picking our favorites and then forcing them on unsuspecting colleagues. The Dusted Mid-Year Swap is almost entirely random, with assignments picked from a bowl and limited options for getting out of them. It’s also one of our most popular features, both internally and among our readers.

Although we don’t pursue consensus — and in fact, quite the opposite, we value the diversity of taste and opinion among our writers — some years we have a clear winner. Out of deference to our most dominant mid-year artist ever, we call them “this year’s Heron Oblivion.” In 2023, that’s especially appropriate since the artist that won the mid-year is also in Heron Oblivion. That’s Meg Baird, whose Furling captured the affection of a broad spectrum of writers. Yo La Tengo was the closest behind, with punkish The Drin and drone-experimental Natural Information Society also in the hunt.

But while we agree sometimes, at others we don’t, and you’ll notice that a good sprinkling of writers were not entirely on board with their assignments. That’s okay. It’s good for us to hear stuff we don’t like, too. It’s part of a balanced musical diet.

We begin with the first half of the alphabet with artists from Algiers to James Ilgenfritz represented. Check back tomorrow for the second half and the next day for our writers’ lists.

Algiers — Shook (Matador)

Shook by Algiers

Who nominated it? Andrew Forell

Did we review it? Yes, Andrew wrote, “Switching organically between punk, gospel, soul, hip hop, jazz and afro-futurism, Algiers speaks directly to a world under siege.”

Jennifer Kelly’s take:

On this tour de force, Algiers doesn’t so much blend African American musical styles as find the sinews and tendons and veins that connect them. “Everybody Shatter” alone morphs from minimalist techno beat to menacing rock to old-school hip hop shout-crossing call and response, and that’s just the opening salvo. The guests run the gamut from current hip hop phenom Billy Woods to DC punk mainstay Mark Cisneros to free-jazz sax experimenter Patrick Shiroishi, with a startlingly moving bit of poetry at the end from Glory Fires front man Lee Bains. “Comment #2” records an unnamed young woman wondering why the discourse about black America focuses so much on suffering, rather than the hope and joy and resilience that her community also manifests. Shook soaks up all elements of that multi-faceted experience, with fierce joy, unrelenting honesty and surges of pure musical exhilaration. Powerful stuff.

Arrowounds — In the Octopus Pond (Lost Tribe Sound)

In The Octopus Pond by ARROWOUNDS

Who nominated it? Tim Clarke

Did we review it? Yes, Tim wrote, “The sounds and how they’re treated go a long way towards mustering a unique, shadowy atmosphere, which is sustained throughout the album’s 45 minutes.”

Christian Carey’s take: 

Ambient’s revival has lasted longer than its initial incarnations and cast a wider net as to the music it encompasses. Releases like In the Octopus Pond by Arrowounds (Ryan Chamberlain) demonstrate why this can be all to the good. An example is the use of a repeated post-rock riff, sustained synth lines, and samples of water in “Spectral Colours of Science,” a standout. In another melange,“Phosphene Silver Abyss” pits a loping bass riff against glissando-filled distorted electric guitar and subdued keyboards. An engaging listen throughout.

Meg Baird — Furling (Drag City)

Furling by Meg Baird

Who picked it? Jennifer Kelly

Did we review it? Yes, Tim Clarke wrote, “Welcome to one of the first great records of the young year.”

Jason Bivins’ take:

I’ve actually been living with and loving this record for many months now. Baird’s got an extraordinary voice and a real knack for both songwriting and arranging. There’s a compelling argument to be made that Furling is her strongest recording. From the outset, it’s clear that this is music that is intimate and reflective and admirably uncluttered. Chords or arpeggios shine through without excess, with gentle strumming and a light touch on the snare making a nice slide for Baird’s angelic voice to glide down. Often she layers her voice, harmonizing way up there over gentle guitar, but she also sinks right in between the chords here and there. Some tracks, like “Star Hill Song,” dial into conventional song-form more than others, but there’s always a gorgeous blend of the earthy and the ethereal. Star-skirling guitars glide atop a tasty pulse, or spare piano grounding textural clouds, always focused on Baird’s somewhat breathy voice and distinctive vibrato. In all my listening, I don’t even focus too much on the lyrics, which only float up for me on occasion. I just allow myself to be hypnotized by the unpretentious beauty of this music.

Big Blood — First Aid Kit (Ba Da Bing/Feeding Tube Records)

First Aid Kit by Big Blood

Who picked it? Bryon Hayes

Did we review it? Yes, Bill Meyer said, “Their production has a steam-pressed quality, as though the background instrumental sounds had all been ironed onto the tape. Voices and drums, however, jump out of the mix, which suits the songs’ sturdy hooks.”

Ray Garraty’s take:

The opening track “In My Head” might fool you that this is a modern take on rockabilly and 1990s indie pop, something that is not easy to stomach in large quantities. But things change drastically after that, with “Haunted”, possibly the best track on the whole CD. A bit of Sparks, a bit of Kate Bush, a bit of your favorite bedroom pop band, Big Blood is a mix of all that but with a twist. First Aid Kit sounds lo-fi enough not to be too grandiose and tiring and clean enough not to fall into the category of bedroom rumblings made for a few friends. The choruses are haunting you, indeed, and stick in mind for days. It closes with a track called “Weird Road Pt. 1,” and it is a weird road for sure. Weird and just great.

BIG|BRAVE — nature morte (Thrill Jockey)

nature morte by BIG|BRAVE

Who picked it? Jonathan Shaw

Did we review it? Yes, Jonathan said, “The title of nature morte might reference death, but this music is frightfully, joyfully and overwhelmingly alive.”

Bryon Hayes’ take:

There’s heavy music that attempts to pulverize your grey matter into oblivion, and then there’s nature morte. This is music that gets under your skin with its dual guitar wall of noise and its sludgy rhythms. What’s really arresting is the intensity of Robin Wattie’s vocals, and how she transitions from a measured attack into all-out screaming almost instantaneously. I don’t usually thirst for music on the heavier end of the spectrum, but I found myself strangely attracted to this record. Images of EMA covering Nirvana’s “Endless, Nameless” kept swirling through my head as I digested the record for the first time. The maelstrom conjured by the two guitars, the pounding of the drums, and Wattie’s almost pleading vocals coalesce into a near-crystalline molasses that somehow manages to flow with enough sweetness to appeal to all manner of listener. Even if you tend to enjoy softer sounds, you should give this album a spin. 

Cellow — Ghetto Takeover (Jugg$treet)

Who picked it? Ray Garraty

Did we review it? No

Jason Bivins’ take:

An EP should be concise, a marker of method and style on the journey to completing a larger project. Or, it should whet the appetite by introducing a new voice, the promise of distinction. Cellow’s six-song, eighteen-minute slice from earlier this year is, by contrast, somehow meandering. On the final track, he proposes: “Let’s do a tape in a fucking night.” Which, apparently, is actually how this project came together. And oof, does it sound it. The production is dated and drab, the beats pedestrian, and the rhymes predictably grandiose and misanthropic in equal measure. For example, he boasts, “that’s a 2012 Benz, not a spaceship” and “I just got $200 for an 8th of Splenda.” He fat-shames women, disses Obama and otherwise romps over his “clown-ass” competitors. If only he were actually compelling as a verbal stylist. But no: after yet another “Strange Fruit” sample on “Ain’t Come to Play,” he fumbles the attempted double-time spitting. It’s embarrassingly undercooked and awkward, especially the two tracks without Rio Da Yung OG.

Elkhorn — On the Whole Universe in All Directions (Centripetal Force)

On The Whole Universe In All Directions by Elkhorn

Who nominated it? Bill Meyer

Did we review it? No.

Christian Carey’s take:

For their latest recording, On the Whole Universe in All Directions, Elkhorn (acoustic 12-string guitarist Jesse Shephard and electric guitarist/percussionist Drew Gardner) explore each principal direction of the compass (North-South-East-West) on four tracks. The vibraphone is a new addition, and the textures created by vibes and 12-string in combination on “North” and “South” are mesmerizing. Splash cymbals and alternate scales provide a (perhaps inevitable) exoticism to “East.” Correspondingly, “West” shares minimal folk inflections and a winsome melody. Elkhorn has executed a successful transformation.

Robert Forster — The Candle and the Flame (Tapete)

The Candle And The Flame by Robert Forster

Who picked it? Jennifer Kelly

Did we review it? Yes. Andrew Forell wrote, “Forster’s observational directness and simple language are always in service to the deep feeling in his songs and few better imbue the quotidian joys of domestic life and the power of memory with such poetry.”

Patrick Masterson’s take:

Not being much of an ardent Go-Betweens fan, I went into The Candle and the Flame with little expectation beyond the notion that Forster would be chronicling the relationship with his wife, who was diagnosed with and got treated for ovarian cancer around the three years these songs were conceived. What I can’t help but admire is how he throws you akimbo right away with “She’s a Fighter,” which attacks the illness directly and immediately (with the help of the whole family, even!) in a rollicking folk-punk style. Duly done and dusted, Forster turns his attention to the deeper reserves of their personal history, reminiscing about meetings in Germany and walking to school in the ‘60s and the general weathering of life in a more relaxed, fittingly contemplative manner. You can tell without knowing anymore than I did that he’s been doing this long enough that songwriting comes naturally to him by now no matter the topic — an artist with an innate gift honed over decades that shines best at its most unvarnished.

Asher Gamedze — Turbulence and Pulse (International Anthem/Mushroom Hour Half Hour)

Turbulence and Pulse by Asher Gamedze

Who picked it? Andrew Forell

Did we review it? Nope

Ian Mathers’ take:

This is a very good record that I feel like I got a few mistaken impressions of! The blurb on the Bandcamp page talks a lot about percussion in a way that made me think this was going to be more beat-centric, and then the opening almost-title track “Turbulence’s Pulse” does go in that direction, combined with a speech about the intersection of rhythms, history and politics. It kind of rules, and then the record pivots on “Wynter Time” to what sounds to my (admittedly not-super-genre-savvy) ears like a pretty straightforward jazz track. Not that Gamedze’s drumming isn’t vital to those proceedings, and it continues to be impressive throughout, but we get a lot more of that latter mode over these 80 minutes (including 20 minutes of live versions of tracks from this album, which may be catnip to real heads but to relative novice me don’t stand out enough to want both). But neither “it’s a bit long for me” or “it’s not exactly what I expected” are big complaints, and they’re more than outweighed by the quality of Gamedze’s playing and the rest of the ensemble, especially Robin Fassie on trumpet and Buddy Wells on tenor saxophone, who wound up drawing a lot of my focus. When things get moving on “Locomotion” and “Out Stepped Zim” the results are great, even if I could also love a record more directly in line with “Turbulence’s Pulse.” 

Jana Horn — The Window Is the Dream (No Quarter)

The Window Is The Dream by Jana Horn

Who recommended it? Tim Clarke

Did we review it? Yes; Tim wrote, “Horn weaves in an undeniable magic. Much like the soap bubble on the album’s cover, hold this music up to the light and it refracts a surprising array of beautiful colors.”

Jonathan Shaw’s take: The variety of wispy, delicate, singer-songwriter music that Jana Horn makes generally puts me to sleep—a fact for which I am grateful, since prolonged exposure to qualities like “wispy” and “delicate” isn’t a happy event for me. And to be sure, Horn’s mannered, near-expressionless alto—full of little gulps and breathy intonations that are simultaneously arch and bloodless—is mildly irritating. But setting those subjective responses aside, there are things to admire on The Window Is the Dream. Horn has a distinct compositional sensibility, which is affecting in direct proportion to its spareness. See the music of “Old Friend,” which skitters and halts, but maintains its sense of grace and composure. The arrangement builds some momentum, and when Horn cuts it all off, with peremptory force, it’s satisfying. Throughout the record, Horn demonstrates that musical sense for timing and mood; see especially the overlay of dissonances that emerges after the careful combinations and constructions of the opening three minutes of “In Between.” But for this listener, Horn’s singing cancels those urgencies and complexities. I get it: the contrast between her prettily blank vocals and the music’s by-turns dreamy and antsy textures will please some. But these precise, calculated gestures don’t make any magic for me.

James Ilgenfritz—#entrainments (Infrequent Seams)

#entrainments by James Ilgenfritz

Who nominated it? Christian Carey

Did we review it? No

Bill Meyer’s take:

Here’s a record that’s well within my wheelhouse, but which I had skipped over on account of there being a lot of music out there. It turns out that #entrainments deeply rewards investigation. It succeeds at being an engaging listen as well as formally creative. Bassist/composer James Ilgenfritz hasn’t just crafted some appealing melodies, he has made them part of a system of meta-responses that can be restructured on the fly. His combo, which includes drummer Gerry Hemingway, alto saxophonist Angelica Niescier and cellist Nathan Bontrager, is tuned into the multiple levels at which this music needs to work, and sounds equally persuasive realizing the cut-and-thrust of “#frontmatter,” which reminds me in a good way of old Henry Threadgill records, and the chamber combo with dissenting drums treatment of “#squarequotes.” A comprehensive review of this album would delve deep into its backstory of health travails and compositional strategizing, but since we’re keeping it brief, suffice to say that if you like your jazz sturdy, nuanced, and inclusive, #entrainments will deliver the goods, and follow them up with a bounty of bonuses.

[grigori77]

2023 in Music - My Top 5 Favourite Albums

5.  LONELY THE BRAVE – What We Do to Feel

The alt-rockers from Cambridge, UK have completed their reinvention after their post-sophomore record shake-ups with what is arguably their best album to date, a canny mixture of moody, anthemic guitar-heavy muscle and haunting introspective beauty.  Enthusiastically gruff vocalist Mark Trotter definitely seems to have really earned his place now after making an impressive debut on 2021’s similarly excellent The Hope List, taking what was already a strong band producing great music and helping to transform them into something truly special.

Standout tracks:  Long Way, The Lens, Our Sketch Out, Victim, In the Well, Eventide, Unseen, The Bear

4.  HOLDING ABSENCE – The Noble Art of Self Destruction

Looks like it’s third album’s the charm for one of the very best bands to have emerged from the 2010’s second-gen post-hardcore alt rock scene (which also produced my absolute favourites of all, Don Broco … but that’s a different story).  Following up in FINE FORM INDEED from their already MAGNIFICENT second album The Greatest Mistake of My Life, Cardiff’s (no longer) best kept musical secret have crafted a streamlined powerhouse of a record that’s all killer/no filler, perfectly showcasing their ubiquitous double-threat of blistering guitars and lead singer Lucas Woodland’s spectacular, nakedly honest vocals.

Standout tracks:  Head Prison Blues, A Crooked Melody, False Dawn, Scissors, Honey Moon, Her Wings, These New Dreams, The Angel In the Marble

3.  HOZIER – Unreal Unearth

The rightly beloved Irish singer-songwriter has returned with what is arguably HIS VERY BEST record to date, a brilliant ever-shifting musical landscape incorporating subtle, spellbinding Celtic-flavoured gentleness, ear-wormy pop-accented bops and bravely inventive experimentation.  The result is the year’s most effortlessly SOOTHING musical offering, which has done wonders to cheer me up every time I’ve put it on after a rough day.  But I still miss “the woo” …

Standout tracks:  De Selby (Parts 1 & 2), Francesca, I, Carrion (Icarian), Eat Your Young, Damage Gets Done (featuring Brandi Carlile), Who We Are, Butchered Tongue, Anything But, Abstract (Psychopomp), Unknown / Nth, First Light

2.  ENTER SHIKARI – A Kiss For the Whole World

The craziest rock band to have EVER come out of St Albans continues to blow me away with their fiendishly eclectic mixture of edgy post-hardcore grit and anarchic electronic-edged musical MADNESS.  This is BY FAR their most streamlined record to date (I can’t believe it’s little more than HALF AN HOUR LONG!), but in some ways also their most rewardingly EXPANSIVE, Rou Reynolds and co. once again playing in an arena of massive themes and making us think as much as they make us ROCK OUT.  More of this please, lads!

Standout tracks:  A Kiss For the Whole World x, (pls) Set Me On Fire, It Hurts, Dead Wood, Bloodshot, Bloodshot (Coda), Goldfish, Giant Pacific Octopus (I Don’t Know You Anymore)

1.  SLEEP TOKEN – Take Me Back to Eden

It’s fascinating to think that just a year ago I’d barely even HEARD of Sleep Token, and certainly wasn’t at all FAMILIAR with anything they’d done.  Then they dropped The Summoning and everything changed … less than 12 months later this is BY FAR the best record I’ve heard ALL YEAR, and as far as I’m concerned anyone who DOESN’T rate it at the very top of their own 2023 list clearly wasn’t paying attention (I’m looking as YOU, Kerrang!).  The mysterious Vessel and his equally unknowable fellow collective have crafted a work of unrivalled MAJESTY here, a little over an hour of pure sonic MAGIC which constantly flips between the hardest possible progressive metal and a dizzying myriad of other genres from its attention-grabbing opening to the heart-wrenching closer.  The end result is not only the best album of the year but a very strong candidate indeed for, potentially, my album of the DECADE.  Worship indeed …

Standout tracks:  Chokehold, The Summoning, Granite, Vore, Ascensionism, Are You Really Okay?, The Apparition, Take Me Back to Eden, Euclid

The ones that didn’t quite make the cut:

STONESIDE. – God of the Mountain (the Texan prog metalheads amaze us once again with their long-awaited debut album); PVRIS – Evergreen (multitalented musical genius Lynn Gunn delivers her most eclectic and full-on electronic alt-rock record to date); TESSERACT – War of Being (the latest offering from the endlessly inventive Milton Keynes prog metal maniacs just might be their best yet, and it’s DEFINITELY their most memorable); BABYMETAL – The Other One (quite possibly the greatest metal band to ever come out of Japan have done it again with another stone-cold banger of a record); STAIND – Confessions of the Fallen (one of the greatest secret weapons of the American post-grunge era makes their long-awaited return after a 12-year absence with one of their best albums to date)

Honourable mention:

EXPLORING BIRDSONG – Dancing In the Face of Danger

Much like with Sleep Token before them, I was genuinely ignorant of this emerging prog rock band from Liverpool up until mid-November, when Kerrang! Radio introduced me to them through their haunting cover of Deftones’ Diamond Eyes.  Then I did what I always do, see what else they’ve got knocking about on YouTube, and within two videos I was LOST.  Their second EP is completely fucking AMAZING, a magnificent musical adventure of pure imagination and experimental GENIUS which goes a long way to prove you don’t actually NEED guitars to rock out, lead-singer and pianist Lynsey Ward doing a genuinely beautiful job with just her keys.  All five tracks are absolute FIRE, but the undeniable standouts are Bear the Weight and the killer closer, No Longer We Lie.

[moviemunchies]

I saw this movie with friends, because they wanted to see it. And I don’t think it’s a bad film; as a family film, it’s just fine. However, I can’t say that this movie feels like it justifies its existence. 

It doesn’t need to exist! We already have The Little Mermaid! It didn’t need to be redone!

Alright! So! Ariel is the mermaid daughter of Triton, the King of the Seas, and she’s obsessed with humans and their world much to her father’s disapproval. Then she falls in love with Prince Eric and saves his life. When Triton finds out, he wrecks her collection of human artifacts, which the sea witch Ursula uses as a way to manipulate Ariel. She offers to make Ursula human for three days, with a chance to be human forever if she can get her true love, Eric, to kiss her. Except she won’t have her voice, and she’s forgotten that she needs the kiss. And if she fails, she belongs to the sea witch now. Ursula, of course, only wants Ariel as leverage to overthrow Triton, her brother.

Alright, so, let me first put forward this: I don’t know if I’ve ever seen the original animated The Little Mermaid all the way through. If I have, I’m not that familiar with it, so while I’ve had some input on what’s changed, through asking friends and looking up for myself, I might get something wrong.

I am going to start with things I liked or thought were well-done:

-Performances in general. For the most part, the acting in this movie is good, and Halle Bailey is a standout star. Her singing is fantastic, and she is absolutely an excellent choice to lead this movie. I heard someone say that she cried when she heard “Part of Your World” in the theater this time around, and I didn’t get it, but I admitted she does a damn good musical number when she gives it a go.

-Daveed Diggs is also doing a pretty good job as Sebastian. Admittedly that doesn’t make his character in this movie great, his design is uninspired for one, only that Diggs is doing incredibly well with what he’s given.

-When the special effects are bright and colorful, it’s really cool. Look, this is an undersea magical world, so it SHOULD be colorful and fantastical. There’s a lot that’s great to look at in some sequences, especially in “Under the Sea” (though put a pin in that, we’ll come back to that number).

-Things that have been headcanon or limited to supplementary material/expansions, like Triton’s queen having been slain by humans or Ursula being Triton’s sister do a lot to explain these characters, and they’re quickly established without taking up too much of the movie. It works a lot better than whatever the heck they were doing with Belle’s mother in the Beauty & the Beast remake.

But you know, there are also a lot of things that also kind of fall flat. Going back to the “Under the Sea” argument, there’s a whole bit where Sebastian sings about the different sea creatures playing different instruments–only to have almost none of those creatures appear on the screen at those moments, or have them playing instruments at all. I thought I might be mistaken, so I looked up the original scene in the animated film, and the animals are all doing exactly that as Sebastian describes them. So why have this song, with these lyrics, if the sea animals aren’t on screen doing what you’re saying they’re doing?

This is probably an extension of the obsession with the remakes of making animals look “realistic” and “realistic animals don’t play instruments”. Or something. It’s at the absolute worst whenever Flounder’s on screen, because he doesn’t look like a character as much as a real fish who is baffled to be there and would rather you stop touching him, thank you very much. 

Also they go through the trouble of changing Scuttle to a diving bird so she can go underwater to talk to Ariel and friends, but like… that means she can breathe underwater for short periods? Which is as unrealistic as it gets.

The less said about “Scuttlebutt” rap, the better. Lin-Manuel Miranda is a great songwriter, but Disney needs to stop hiring him for everything. It doesn’t fit here–every song in the original serves a dramatic or character-building purpose. Here, “Scuttlebutt” tells us something that’s proven untrue a minute later: that Eric is proposing to Ariel that day.

Also, when the “Under the Sea” sequence, and some of the others, show off a fantastical world of color and wonder, it’s a little disappointing to see exactly how drab Triton’s palace is. He’s King of the Sea and his house is drab, undecorated stone?

The conclusion is also a bit strange. In it, Ariel is the one who drives the wrecked ship to impale giant Ursula instead of Eric. I get why they did this, so that she’s a much more straightforwardly powerful protagonist with agency–SHE’s the one who defeats the villain in the end. Okay, fine, but this also means that Prince Eric does almost nothing in the climax of the movie. He, the experienced sailor, just flails about while Ariel, the one who didn’t know what a fork was a week ago, steers a ship into the Big Bad.

Yeah, that makes sense, right?

More than anything though, my main complaint about this movie is: why does this exist? I know the answer, it’s money. I am fully convinced that there could have been a great movie made out of reviving The Little Mermaid. We could get a movie about Ursula’s story, Triton’s rule, other mermaids like Ariel’s sisters, Ariel adjusting to life on land, putting this in a different setting, gender-swapping this… really, Disney could be doing anything right now and instead they’re telling the same story again, but with a bigger budget and tiny little patches to cover up perceived failings and Plot Holes, like making Ariel magically forget that she has to kiss Eric.

But no, it’s about the money. 

There’s some good in this movie, and I maintain that as a family film, it’s just fine. Whatever. But The Little Mermaid already exists, and you could watch the original one instead. This is just a copy that feels less creative, blatantly developed because Disney wants our money. 

And they’re getting it, apparently. Ugh.

[lordmayokcorner]

aespa My World - Album Review

-- image: euphoriazine --

After what feels like a lifetime, SM Entertainment’s aespa has finally dropped their new mini album My World. The group released a whopping 4 prereleases, always a red flag in my opinion. That said, I think that this EP has the potential to be a big hit among fans. This is a pretty noticeable departure from their original sound, but I see it as a good thing. Despite my bias being Ningning, we all have to admit that Blonde Karina is a massive slay. 

I’ll listen to each song 3 times and rate them afterward. Each song will be rated on a scale of 1-10 with 5 being completely neutral, 1 being my least favorite song, and 10 being the best songs ever. Please take my rating with a grain of salt, my goal is to be honest, no hate :)

Welcome To MY World (feat. nævis) - 8

First off, is that vocaloid I hear? Something similar nonetheless. We start off with a somewhat ominous but sweet guitar riff. When the refrain hits, the bass is incredible and super smooth. Ningning is killing it on the refrain! (or chorus depending on how you see it). As the song progresses, it continuously builds to hit harder and harder, adding drums, strings, more bass, synths, harmonies, backups, and the vocaloid-esque nævis lines. In the verses the autotune is quite excessive, but the chorus sounds more tasteful to me. That said, I still love this song!

Spicy - 9

This song has much more power than the previous. The sound design of the synth bass is seriously impressive and pleasing to the ear. The production is done by Moonshine, an absolute beast in the kpop scene. Peek-A-Boo, Naughty, and Forever 1, just to name a few. The rap in the verse feels like a cross between the Irene rap in Dumb Dumb and Robyn’s Konichiwa B*tches. The chorus slaps. So. Hard. All the pitch sliding in the vocals and synths gives this song a jazzy, danceable feel. There are elements of Illusion, but other than that it’s a new sound for aespa.

Salty & Sweet - 7.5

This song continues the trend of excellent sound design in the bass. The vocal processing is also quite nice. The master is a little quiet compared to the other songs which is a bit disappointing, but if you turn up the volume it’s just fine. This one reminds me a bit of Savage, and both of them aren’t exactly revolutionary, though I do prefer this song. The production is super satisfying, perhaps even more than Spicy, but the songwriting could use some work. A hard-hitting funky track that can be a little boring if you aren’t really focusing on the sounds.

Thirsty - 6

They’re going for a Red Velvet style R&B track here. It’s debatable whether or not they pull it off. I personally don’t think aespa is made for this style, but it does sound pretty good. Once again, heavy autotune that at times is distracting. I don’t think aespa really needs as much autotune as SM gives them! The production is also not quite as exquisite as the previous 3 tracks. I’m a sucker for this style though, being as much of a Reveluv as I am. 

I’m Unhappy - 7

Another R&B feel to this song. Aespa is really bringing the groove in this EP, I must say. I love the vocals, particularly in the chorus, my God! Everything besides the chorus doesn’t really stand out to me as much however. The rap parts aren’t that impressive, but that’s not necessarily the goal. The slight vocal fry and growl in the “I’m unhappy” just adds to the aggressively cool sound of the song. I think that Giselle and Karina in particular absolutely nail it. Thumbs up aespa 👍

‘Til We Meet Again - 5

The song begins with some beautiful bells, strings, and soft vocals. The acoustic guitar that enters afterward isn’t exactly for me though. The chorus cements this song as a power ballad. There’s nothing wrong with this song, I just don’t really see anything that notable in it. It’s a decent song, it just happens to be extremely similar to almost every end song ballad in kpop. I feel like there would be better ways to end this album, but this isn’t necessarily a bad way to do it. 

Final Thoughts

This must be the 10th time I’ve mentioned groove in this review, but this comeback really embodies the word. I certainly think this is a good direction for aespa. I like their older concepts too, but I think progressing as a group is very important. In my eyes, if they keep reinventing and developing their sound, they possibly have the ability to overtake groups with more defined, static sounds such as Blackpink, who they are often accused of imitating. That however is a whole other debate. I found this album to be generally impressive, particularly on the production side. SM undeniably has the best producers of the big 3, at least from my opinion as an amateur producer and sound designer. I give this album an overall score of 7, with my favorite song being the banger that is Spicy, the title track. Thank you for reading, let me know what your thoughts are on any of this!

- Maya

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter.

This week, on a suggestion, we’re dropping by the offices of Wikipedia and hitting the “Random” button to see what comes up. So if you have any complaints, file them under “W” for “Who Cares?”

Aries 

Starting us off strong, here, Aries. “Terror attacks in Istanbul”. Your first listing is about the Armenian Revolutionary Federation’s Occupation of the Ottoman Bank on 26 August 1896. What’s it all about? Don’t know. The only thing we remember about Istanbul is the cover of “Istanbul Not Constantinople” by They Might Be Giants. If it wasn’t for Tiny Toon Adventures we might have never heard that song.

Taurus 

Your article is about Hungarian Olympic swimmer Éva Pajor. She competed in the women's 100 metre backstroke at the 1956 Summer Olympics in Melbourne, Australia… and gained asylum right after competing. Before her death in 2014 she taught swimming in Sydney, opened 2 swimming centers in the country, and had another named in her honour. This week… brush up on your swimming; summer is fast approaching.

Gemini  

Well, shoot. The article that popped up for you is about a lawyer in Louisiana. We could have just kept on clicking and found the next article that wasn’t half-way political, but no! We had to be honest and let you know that RNGesus rolled poorly for you. So this week you can go read up on Louisiana - then find a local Cajun restaurant to eat crawfish at. 

Cancer Moon-Child 

You get a European location! Driebes (“DREE-ehbs”). It’s a municipality located in the province of Guadalajara, Castile-La Mancha, Spain with a population of 361 inhabitants - so about 9 people per square kilometer. Some of us went to high schools with more people than that in their graduating classes. This week get back to practicing your Spanish… CASTILIAN Spanish! 

Leo 

You get Canadian singer-songwriter known as “Ruth B.” from Edmonton, Alberta. She speaks her parents' native language Amharic fluently, started singing on Vine in 2013, and created a sleeper hit song, "Dandelions" from Safe Haven, which grew in popularity due to TikTok. It has accumulated over 1 billion streams globally as of April 2023. This week, since you’re already older than her, she’s 27 now, just give up on your dreams… and find NEW ones to follow!

Virgo 

You get to learn about the 1961 Star World Championship. We hear you: “What’s the Star World Championship?” Excellent question! It’s the international sailing regattas in the Star class organized by the International Star Class Yacht Racing Association as sanctioned by the International Sailing Federation. What’s that all mean? It’s a bunch of people who think that going out on the ocean in a speed boat without engines, with the very real possibility of drowning, is fun. OH! And the winning boats that year were Frolic, Tranquil, and North Star IV. This week, learn the difference between Port and Starboard.

Libra 

Oh, you’re gunna love this one, Libra. Your term is “Angel Dusting”. It’s a marketing ploy to add some special ingredient to a product in hardly detectable measure, just so that it can be said to be in the product in order to hype the promotion of the main product. So you could SAY that some product with health benefits is included in the product, but not say that there’s not enough to actually cause the health benefit. This week… someone is going to offer you a job in advertising. Don’t Sell Your Soul! 

Scorpio 

For you, time to learn a little about Walter Netsch. He was an architect closely associated with the “brutalist” style of architecture, working with the firm of Skidmore, Owings & Merrill. And that’s where we’re going to jump tracks and ask, “Who is this ‘Skidmore’ fellow?” Louis Skidmore, of the Indianna ‘Skidmores’, was a WWI Army Sergeant, married Eloise Owings… because of COURSE her name was “Eloise”... who was the sister of Nathaniel A. Owings, who would be two of the three that started the firm. This week don’t be afraid to look into weird nepotism connections and old names.

Sagittarius 

You’re getting “Metsepole” (“MEHT-seh-poal”); an ancient Livonian county inhabited by the Finnic Livonians, on the east coast of the Gulf of Riga, at the northwest of what is now the Vidzeme region of Latvia. Metsepole was bordered by the ancient Estonian Sakala County to the north, Latgalian Tālava to the east and Livonian county of Turaida to the south. Now, Sagittarius? Did we just make up all that from some obscure 1980 Sci-Fi failed TV Pilot or is that real? There’s only one way to know…. Go read!

Capricorn 

You get “Bruce Wayne”... who is totally NOT Batman. We know that because one time Batman and Bruce Wayne appeared near the same place at the same time, as observed by Commissioner Gorden. Batman stayed on the other side of the street because he had a cold and didn’t want to spread it. Isn’t that Alfred such a– I MEAN BATMAN! He’s a great guy! This week buy some Fisherman’s Friend!

Aquarius 

For you we have the film “The Search for Animal Chin” - a 1987 skateboarding film featuring the Bones Brigade. It’s one of the first skateboarding films to have a plot, rather than simply a collection of skateboarding stunts and music videos. The Bones Brigade embark on a quest to find the first skateboarder, the mythological Won Ton "Animal" Chin who had gone missing. Their journey takes them to different locations including Hawaii, California, Nevada, and Mexico where they meet friends and skate different spots along the way. They never find the actual Animal Chin, but come to realize that in their search they discover the true meaning of their journey, the pure fun of skateboarding. This week… Just watch “Kung-Fu Panda” again.  

Pisces  

In typical fashion, you get some Geek Science stuff - the Progress M1-5, a spacecraft which was launched by Russia in 2001 to deorbit the fifteen-year-old Mir space station in a controlled fashion, far away from shipping lanes. Were it not for this module, Mir's orbit would have decayed uncontrolled over time (like Skylab), with debris potentially landing in a populated area. So this was a sacrificial spacecraft whose only job was to commit suicide and bring Mir down with itself. This week… get up super early and take a hot air balloon ride. It’s really pretty!

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Discord.