#you don’t have to make up shit to justify listening to what you wanna listen to

[jewishbarbies]

“not all music needs to be analytical or poetic, it can just be fun, and that doesn’t make it inherently mediocre.” needs to be learned again. you can just listen to music because it’s fun. not all fun music has to be poetic or a Shakespearean monologue with background music for you to listen to it or call it good. learn to be secure in your music taste and understand that it’s okay and not an insult to you if someone else has different preferences.

[val-cansalute]

PICKING UP THE ———- PIECES -———

ch. 6

ch. 1 ch. 2 ch.3 ch. 4 ch. 5

don’t be a piece of shit

cw - set in jackson with an unclear timeline, no mentions of joel or jj, kind of half proofread, profanities, depictions of mental illness, graphic situations, CUNNILINGUS 🤰, mdni

Seconds, which blur the line between moments and hours, drag by, yet breaths still come in sharp, ragged gasps.

Your chest still feels heavy, bearing the lingering weight of the memories that overwhelmed you, and the stale, dust-ridden air of your old home still churns maliciously within your rib cage though you’re far from it now. Nothing is proving helpful in satiating your ravenous lungs.

Her hand is already soothing tender circles into your back before you can register it and the violence of your inhale softens.

“Shimmer?” you repeat, words veiled by winded breaths.

“Yeah, that’s right,” like it’s second nature to her, Ellie moves her calloused hand so that it’s splayed across your thumping heart to gently ground you and the room stops spinning so frustratingly.

Your focus shifts to her touch, to the warmth that radiates from her palm.

“It’s kinda fuckin’ impressive you managed to go so long without learning any of their names,” as always, her voice is a quiet rasp, intimate and gentle as a smile plays at her chapped lips.

In contrast, your gaze is intense and, somehow, distant. It makes Ellie’s stomach twist with anxiety.

“Wasn’t planning on staying.”

“… Right. Well, you should probably learn them now.”

You’re back in Jackson – not in your home, but in Ellie’s decrepit hybrid shed, which somehow managed to outdo your actual house by miles.

What your home lacked, hers carried in abundance; warmth and soul, with pictures and posters scattered across the dulled walls and memories laced through the trinkets lining each shelf. It was alive with the force of her affection.

Coming back invited the questioning gaze of the townspeople, but your mind was too tired to pay it any mind, or to pay the fact that she was leading you away from your house any mind either.

“The place you went to... You used to live there? I, uh, saw a carving of your name and your brother’s, I think it was, in the fence. Soren, right?”

“Yeah… Me and Soren…”

“… Listen… Why did you do it? You didn’t wanna be there, I know that much. You were... fucked up, to say the least, when I found you. I don’t understand.”

“I don't know… I don’t want to be safe; I don’t deserve to be safe-”

Your heart beats sporadically at the sudden overbearing guilt inside you, the source of which you can’t trace back to a specific moment, and your breath hitches in your throat so you can't meet her worried eyes. There are so many actions you cannot justify at all, save for the fact that there was a massive remorseful compulsion to do it. For Soren, even though you know, deep down, he’d never have wanted this, you know you did it for him. You’ll never fully be able to explain why, or why you ended up going back with Ellie without argument.

“Hey, I'm here." her soothing voice cuts through the dense anxiousness in the air and, for a moment, the fog clears - the sight of her softened face, so endearing.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Her eyes are so beautiful; it's so easy to forget what you were even thinking about when you dive into them.

"You- fuck- you know that’s stupid, right? Of course you deserve to be safe, y/n, how could you not deserve that?"

You’re a fraud. You had everyone fooled, thinking you had morals, but you can’t let her believe in a falsehood. The words burst out like rust-ridden water from a burst pipe; so explosively that she jerks back slightly, eyebrows knitted in worry.

"Because I’m bad person! You don’t know me, Ellie! I killed him! I fucking beat him to death! I am so fucking disgusting!"

"You-"

"Oh my god, Ellie, he was just a fucking kid! And he was terrified! Terrified of what would happen if he let the infection take over and terrified of hurting me! Fuck, and he begged me to do it before he turned, but I couldn't fucking do it! How could I?! And then I beat him to death as soon as he came for me, because I am a coward, and when it came down to it, all it took was a little scare for me to hurt him so fucking badly... God, Ellie, it didn’t have to be like that; it shouldn’t have fucking been like that but I’m so selfish… He was all I had left… Without him, I’m nothing… But I fucking deserve it. I deserve all the shit that comes my way. And I have to take it. All of it."

Somewhere amidst the fire, she grabs your shoulders and pulls you closer,

"Y/N, no. Deep down, you know that's not true. He was just a kid but -fucking- so were you! You were just a kid, and it's not fair that you had to fend for yourself! It's not fair that you and your brother had to live like this! It's not fair that he got infected, or that anyone did, and it is not your fault that your choice had the consequences it did when you were panicked and desperate and young. It is not your fault it happened the way it did. This world... Nothing about it is fair. Even though I can’t replace him, and I don’t know you as well as him, I care about you and I want to be around you. And I know for a fact that you are not a bad person, and I fucking know that. You are not a bad person. What happened back then was not evil, it was tragic, not evil. You can’t forget it, and you shouldn’t! But your brother would never want you to be stuck in this awful cycle. He would never blame you like this. Shit happens, we do things we regret and life doesn't go the way we plan, we lose people we love, but we move forward. We have to. And you are not alone, not while I’m here, you can never be."

Her words are harsh and sharp, to get through to you, nicking little chips at the edges of your iron-strong resolve. For the first time, you let yourself consider it, and the strength of your guilt’s hold loosens up just a bit.

Through pooling tears that threaten to fall and the lump that sits tight in your throat, you reach out your arms to bury your face into the warmth of her shoulder, and push your shaky, cracking voice out.

“I miss him so much… I can’t stop thing about it… I can’t stop feeling like this…”

Ellie immediately collects your draped body into a fervid hold, trying desperately to cling onto the rare openings you allow her.

“It’s gonna be okay. Just give yourself time. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise you.”

6 MONTHS LATER

The Tipsy Bison’s doors are held wide open, but great gusts of wind are no match for the laughter, clinking of glasses and constant hum of conversation within.

Somewhere amongst the bundles of life, you are sat at a rickety table beside Ellie, Dina, and Jesse, and are fitting in like a puzzle piece beyond all capabilities of your imagination when you first arrived in Jackson.

Jesse’s eyes held fast to Dina, who’s head was thrown back in a wholehearted cackle over something relatively insignificant. You were all slumped in your chairs with great big grins, flushed faces and strands of hair clinging to your clammy necks, in high spirits.

Your heart feels full. For the first time, you can go out and laugh freely without the intense gaze of your overwhelming guilt or constant, racing thoughts of Soren. Panic attacks lie dormant for longer than you’d ever dreamed of.

Ellie’s gaze reaches you, and the way your heart swells with all-consuming affection is mutual. You can tell from the way she looks at you, all warm and admiring.

For a second, the sight of the people behind her falls away and you are the only people left in the room, in the world. Here, you are with people who care about you, want to be around you. Here, there is a sense of belonging that you hadn't felt in a long time.

After a moment, the pink-tinged apples of her cheeks fatten with a sincere, toothy grin, hazy eyes squinting as they flit down to her glass, and you notice that the number of people here has actually dwindled.

“Oh shit, everyone’s gone, I didn’t even realise.” Dina mumbled, scanning the room. Jesse lazily rose from his chair, stretching as he looked back at her,

“We should probably get going too, huh. I'll see you two tomorrow, then.” He nodded over to both of you before huddling together with Dina and drunkenly walking off.

You look back to Ellie; she’s leaning back in her chair, legs spread in a way that brings on certain feelings, raising her glass to her parted lips and her eyes never leave yours.

You watch her swallow the last traces of whiskey and set the glass down before tilting her head at you with a smirk. You’re both drunk, warm, fuzzy, tingly.

Her eyebrows raise before she gets up and leans over, and whispering,

“C’mon, babe,” into your ear.

As you stroll back, you’re met with the refreshing cool night air and you can’t help but feel a sense of contentment, hand in hand with Ellie, watching her ramble on. Your hushed giggles carry through the empty paths.

When you arrive at Ellie's place, stumbling through the door, you collapse onto her bed. This place has become more of a home than your real home; you’re almost never not spending the night. Among the clusters of trinkets and piles of clothes, your belongings have found a place, as well as the acrylic image of your face amidst her paintings.

Candlelight, the room is bathed in the soft orangey glow, casting shadows that dance and flicker across Ellie’s grinning face. You cling onto her dearly, intertwining your limbs with flushed cheeks and gazing up at her longingly, light and airy.

You settle into a comfortable silence with your bodies pressed against each other while she stares up down at her rough palm as you trace, with gentle and loving touches, the lines engraving it, the weight of the world momentarily forgotten.

She pecks your cheek,

“Are you sleepy?”

You look up at her with a sly smirk,

“No. Are you?”

“Nuh uh, you know what I’m thinking?”

“Oh, I know exactly what you’re thinking?”

You rise from your spot, nestled into her side, taking the hand you were playing with and entwining your fingers as you hover over her. The look on her face is mellow yet excited, her hands already reach out for your waist, already making your body feel hotter.

“You gonna show me, babe?”

She pulls you closer so you dive into the soft crook of her neck, sensitive with trails of tingling skin where you place kisses, desperate to feel the warmth her body emits, desperate for her to feel so incredibly real to you, for her to overwhelm your senses. You’ve never been infatuated quite like this before, never felt quite so comfortable with the love you hold for a person. But with Ellie, it’s simple, easy, comes naturally to you. She’s so many things, but, especially a sanctuary. A sanctuary weathered by the storms of your past but still standing firm.

“Mhmm, I’m gonna show you, Els.”

Ellie’s slumped at the head of her dingy bed.

Her body is bare and her muscles are tensing with each desperate, visceral movement, glowing with a thin sheen of sweat and slick,, as she kneads her fingers into the fat of your ass and meets your lips hungrily.

You hold onto her freckled face, looking down at her fucked out, beautiful eyes. They’re just begging for more after giving it to you for so long, consolidated by the sparkly feeling of her grinding up onto you,

“You’re so hot,”

“Oh, am I?” you mutter, pushing her back against the mattress and watching her eyes widen while chuckling to yourself,

“Wha- Alright, jesus fuck,”

You crawl off her lap with deliberate sexuality, pushing her legs apart abruptly. She clambers up onto her arms but you push her back, watching her tits bounce as she collapses,

“Shut up, El,”

“Oh, I see how it is, you aren’t fucking around anymore. No more mr nice guy, no funny busin-”

“Dude, fucking stop, you just, like, made me un-wet,”

“Oh shit, gotta get serious.”

You smack her thigh gently.

She grins and folds her arms behind her head, her eyes never leaving yours as you lower yourself in front of her pussy. Yours narrow ever so slightly when she grabs the back of your head and pushes it into your mouth, moaning at the contact of your lips with hers.

It gets you warm, placing a kiss filled with genuine love on her puffy clit before borderline making out with her pussy,

The sight of her eyes rolling back as her jaw goes slack has you begging for more, so you run your tongue up from her slit before lapping at it like you’re starved and watching her go cross-eyed from the sheer pleasure.

You can’t help but dip a finger a finger or two into her dripping hole, wanting nothing but to make her feel good, for her to come undone on you, slick smeared over your mouth, nose and chin, dripping lewdly down your palm.

You watch her body convulse, mattress cover clinging to her sweaty back as it arches up off the bed and her legs pull you in graciously.

You rest your head on her thigh and relish in the sight for a moment before she’s looking back into your eyes and urging you to come up so she can hold you, and also to stop breathing onto her clit because her “legs might spasm and strangle you or something,”

You laugh and lay your head down on her naked chest to hear her heart thump within her, in the tender embrace of the arms she holds out for you.

“Els?”

“Hmm?”

“Remind me to take those really fluffy socks I have home with me later. So much stuff is here now, I keep getting annoyed whenever Im actually home for once.”

“Sure, I can do that, if I don’t also forget.”

“Great.”

She lulls your eyes into a soft close with the feeling of her stroking your hair, and as she watches you exist, she realises she’d like to do that for longer. So, she leans into your ear and whispers,

“Hey, babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you just… bring all your stuff to my place, you know, move in with me?”

You raise your head from her chest (she immediately misses the warmth) and meet her eyes, face slowly morphing into an adoring smile which she reflects, before placing a kiss on her forehead and then locking your lips with hers.

PLEASE READ

a/n - last chapterrrrrr ahdgstihaveahugepenisdtyf, banners by cafekitsune and saradika-graphics, my condolences to anyone who has read this bc i kinda hate it but thanks anyways. im not gonna write anything for a while after this (except for this one req thats been sitting in my drafts for an ungodly amount of time) because of the situation in palestine and the upcoming global strikes. i dont want to think abt a game made by a zionist who embedded zionist propaganda into it and donated money to israel most likely earned from the game. upwards of 30,000 palestinians, 11,000 of which were children, have been murdered by israel since october. yeah, for now, it’s only gonna be palestine-related posts. please, please do not buy the remaster, im begging you. its just a remaster, im pretty sure we can all go without it.

[michi-hawkeye]

If you need a tourniquet or if you wanna turn and quit Know that I'll be by your side << michi u need to tell me moooooooooooore 😍😍😍

I gladly wil! ❤️

The fic is actually a prompt fill, kinley have been dating for six months before shit hits the fan and the fic starts in Tommy’s pov and takes place right in the aftermath of Buck being struck.

Here’s a snippet of the opening (fair warning its in its rough draft stage)

Tommy watches the rain pound onto the ground of the airfield under the safety of the hanger. He had been anxious all shift due to the anticipation of introducing himself to Captain Nash and Sargent Grant-Nash as Buck’s boyfriend tomorrow night and hopefully be able to ask them a question the little black box to go with it tucked away in his locker. Something bigger than that was eating at him now like some premonition that something is going to go wrong tonight, he usually didn’t let storms get to him since it was part of his job to fly through them. Although he knows Buck is out there working right now and he knows his boyfriend is an unintentional danger magnet so him feeling anxious for somewhat no reason is definitely justified. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as he hopes Buck and his team are staying safe out there before he leans away from the hanger door threshold to go and try to focus on keeping his anxiety at bay.

He tries to keep checking his phone at a minimum as much as he is anxious he can’t be distracted, so he goes through the station chores even through he knows they’ve already been done, so he tries to burn out the anxiety by working out. It wasn’t until he was walking out of the showers after his workout he was finally given the reason for his anxiety.

As he’s changing into a new uniform shirt, his phone goes off with the familiar sounds of the wind and percussion instruments that play The Mandalorian theme song, he had made it Eddie’s ring tone on his phone after watching the show with him, Buck and Chris one day and realizing him and Mando have a very similar personality to Eddie’s begrudging annoyance. Eddie is also one of the few people who is on Tommy’s short Do not disturb bypass list, a rock of dread sinks down his stomach as he tries not to think of worse case scenarios but that would be naive with the storm raging outside tonight and how dangerous their jobs are in general.

Before answering the phone he tries to sallow the forming lump in his throat as he takes a moment to look at the photo he had taken of a smiling Eddie who had a arm thrown over a equally smiling Buck’s shoulder, who had his own arms wrapped around Tommy’s shoulders during a guy’s day out which was used for each of their contact photos.

He tries to keep his voice even as he hears an equally breaking breath on the other end of the line when it connects “Eddie what’s wrong?”

“It’s buck—- there was a accident on a call he’s in critical—-“ Eddie takes a shaky breath while Tommy’s heart shatters, “we’re at Cedars get here as fast as possible” we don’t know if he’ll make it goes unsaid, it kicks Tommy to start packing his duffle.

“Eddie what happened at the call?” Tommy asked, he doesn’t want to be in the dark on how his boyfriend had gotten injured enough to be considered critical.

“I’ll tell you more when you get here I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell you right now, drive safe okay”

“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can” he blinks away the tears that have been building up, as he listens to the call disconnecting.

“Cap I need to leave family emergency”

—-

Just as he pulls out of the airfield, the bachelor theme plays from his car’s speakers signaling that Maddie is calling, him and Maddie had been binge watching old episodes of the show together when they both had off days in the name of bonding while everyone else had shifts since they couldn't watch the new episodes without chimney, it would have been funny to hear if it wasn’t for the situation at hand, with his eyes still on the road he clicks the green call button on the dashboard screen.

“Tommy” he hears Maddie’s watery voice come through the speakers “did you hear what happened to buck”

He was a only child who has always wanted siblings and having known Maddie these past few months he grew to view her as one, and if she needed him to be strong he’ll try to be, he coughed to try to prevent the impending sob and to try to steady his voice before responding“ Eddie just called me to let me know, I’m heading over there right now”

“Good they’ll both need you”

“I’m here for you too, you know that right?” He asked gently, it always stings when he sees Evan and Maddie throw aside thier mental and emotional well-being in favor of focusing on others like they themselves don’t matter; giving until they break.

“I know but knowing those two Eddie probably saw first hand what had happened, so he’ll need someone to lean on who understands” he thinks back on the stories Buck had mentioned in the past when either one had been injured. They fall into a silence perhaps to let themselves process what's happening.

The silence breaks when he hears the faint barely formed word babbles from Jee-Yun “jelly bean is there?” He had given her the nickname shortly after meeting her and Maddie when he noticed she jumped and skipped around more than walked, and how it must have been a family trait because Buck would do the same given the chance, Maddie and Buck had cracked up when he commented on the shared mannerism.

Maddie gives a sad chuckle “I called Anne and John to pick her up to spend the night with them, they’re planning to meet us at the hospital”

“What about your parents?” Tommy asks, he doesn't trust the buckley parents for shit to care for the sweet girl that he’s starting to let himself view as his niece. He wants to know if they're gonna twiddle their thumbs and not show up for their son again but this time while he’s probably dying.

“I also wanted to warn you too that my parents are coming to the hospital, I know you have your reasons on avoiding them I respect that and this isn't the ideal situation to meet them now, in truth it surprised me that they decided to go at all”

“Maddie they hurt you and Buck, made both your lives hell that's why I avoid them you know that cause if I ever see them I won’t be able to not tell them what I think” he had avoided meeting the Buckley parents the last two nights because how much disdain he had for them but he has enough awareness that two people he cares about still want to try to have that bond and he’ll support them and be there when he helps pick up the pieces when their parents refuse to put in the effort to fix the damage they cause.

“I know, can we continue this later? , I’ll see you at the hospital” he hears Maddie say with a defeated sigh, kicking himself mentally for pushing her at an already stressful time.

He hears Maddie shuffle and with a much brighter tone say “Say bye to Uncle Tommy, Jee” hearing the new title makes him choke on the building lump in his throat.

“Buh Buh, Uh T’my!” Jee says with a giggle, oblivious to what is going on and Tommy hopes when she does learn, Buck will at least be okay by then. He can be strong for her, Maddie, Eddie, and Chris until Evan wakes up

“Bye sweet girl see you soon!” He attempts to say brightly but he can hear how weak it sounds to his own ears. He hears Jee giggle in response before the line disconnects. He lets a few tears fall as he turns another corner on the road towards the hospital.

————————

(You can thank my sister’s car playlist for the title its from Tourniquet by Zach Bryan)

[lbctal]

y’all mind if i yap about the walton gq interview a bit?

okay shoutout to my friend ash for manifesting this interview after danny did his LMAO

FIRST THOUGHTS: WHERE THE FUCK IS VENUS???

if you asked me his most iconic characters, venus is absolutely in the top three. how the fuck do they mention BILLY CRASH and JAY WHITTLE but not VENUS VAN DAM???? fuck whoever came up with this list.

now that that’s out of my system, let’s go in order, shall we?

lee russell: ty walton for describing russell fucking perfectly. him and i are the only people who understand russell. (jk) ALSO YESSS THE DUCK LIPS BUT SIR CAN YOU SAY A LINE. PLEASEEE. on my knees. MOST IMPORTANTLY; WALTON SHIPS GAMBYRUSSELL. FUCK YESSSS 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 LOVE WINS

cooper howard: snore. i’m so fucking bored of this guy. are we not tired of hearing shit about the goddamn ghoul. moving on.

shane vendrell: STOP MAKING ME WATCH LEM DIE. CHRIST. but thank you again walton for focusing more on the shield than on your biggest piece of shit character!! and when he started talking ‘psychological condition’ it reminded me of how i’m like almost certain shane is bipolar. wonder if he’d agree w me on that? anyways.

boyd crowder: WHYYYY DO THEY HAVE TO PLAY THE FINAL SCENE HOLY FUCKING SHIT I ALMOST CRIED AGAIN. so thankful to mr. olyphant for convincing walton to do justified. their chemistry IS SO PALPABLE. his love for boyd and raylan and justified in general is so fucking precious to me and it makes the show so much more special and it would absolutely not be justified if it weren’t for his spectacular input. i could listen to him blab on about that show all fucking day, it’s the whole reason i love him. beautiful fucking words to describe it. just speechless. much love to this man. ‘raylan givens is an asshole. but he’s my asshole.’ WE KNOW YOU’RE THE ORIGINAL RAYLANBOYD SHIPPER, BABE. 🩶

baby billy freeman: this bit was JAM PACKED w info and i loved it sm. really shocked they just came up w him on the spot but you could really tell cuz he’s like the perfect combination of walton’s ideas and danny’s ideas cultivated into this old man. too bad he didn’t mention that he was inspired by his dad again, lol.

billy crash: this part was like a bit confusing to me cuz i have heard different stories about how he got the role from other sources but it’s good to get some confirmation. pretty akin to what i heard, though. also giggled a bit when he said you don’t change what quentin writes cuz tarantino himself said ‘someone’ wanted to change the ending of django. but y’all didn’t hear that from me, lmao. always love to watch billy crash writhing in pain. :)

chris mannix: also a lot of new info for this one!! although i already knew about all the drama about h8 and the leak and all that, it’s interesting to hear the process the actors went through. would’ve paid millions to hear him do his voice. also why is he gatekeeping info, UGH. all i wanna know is if he had an encounter with tarantino’s punsihment dildo for falling asleep on set. lmfao.

the hero / jay whittle: okay, at first i was kinda pissed that he got a spot instead of venus, but this might’ve been my favorite segment aside from boyd’s. I never really find anything about him talking about his time on set of I’m a virgo so this was such a nice treat. i LOVE how he approaches each one of his characters, it’s so special and is why each one of them are so special and different from any other character you’ve ever seen. the wig story was fucking hilarious and it’s just so sweet how he says let’s figure this person out together. such a wonderful guy. it is SUCH a BEAUTIFUL story with a POWERFUL message and i adore how he recognized that. and the way he described jay? CHEF’S FUCKING KISS. mid-life crisis superhero who behaves like an alcoholic and is incapable of seeing different than his own pov? walt, you’re a fucking genius. his closing statement was absolute beauty.

anyways thanks for reading my ramble.

JUSTICE FOR MY GIRL VENUS

[merv606]

That ficlet with Tom the guard is one of my favorite parts of Mercy you’ve written. It’s so interesting to see what people outside of Daniel and Terry think of the situation. What would happen if Daniel was trying to escape/making a fuss and one of the guards, in trying to restrain him, hurt him? Like accidentally hit his face and gave him a shiner, or grabbed him too hard and twisted his wrist or something. I just wanna see Terry in feral mode and protective mode with Daniel tbh. Destroy the guard, Terry!

Thank you 🥰

It was fun to write actually, unlike most of Mercy lol

Well we do know bruises on his arm meant that guard was never seen from again 🤔 

Tom sighs. This is not going to end well. 

“He bit me. What else was I suppose to do?!” It’s one of the new guards, Cole. He only recently joined sometime last week. 

Only one week and the absolute idiot has broken the cardinal rule.

Daniel is sitting cradling his face, but Tom can see the bruise already forming. 

Jesus Christ - this is a mess. 

The only reason Terry isn’t in here already means that while he had to step out, he must not be watching the monitors, for once. 

Either way there is nothing Tom can do, he’s basically looking at a dead man walking.

Tom has worked with Terry for decades and has done some fucked up shit for him, although this takes the cake, because in terms of a wrongness scale of one to ten, this would be 15.

Still, the pay is good and he, like all the ex black ops have a special set of skills. While highly trained with a deadly efficiently for when things were FUBAR, it  wasn’t really good for much else - it don’t exactly translate over to real life. 

This guy, Daniel, and that’s all they know - his first name only - has Terry acting in a way Tom has never seen.

“Fuck I think I’m going to need stitches.”  

Tom snorts.

“You’ll be lucky if all you need is stitches.” He has a feeling that before the night is done he’ll be digging a ditch. 

Cole looks up sharply. 

Tom adjusts his gun.

“What the hell? He can’t be mad at me for this.”

“You broke the number one rule, man.”

You damaged the merchandise, Tom thinks. The very, very important merchandise.

For whatever reason, and Tom doesn’t need to understand it, Daniel to him, is like the Mona Lisa to the Louvre. It’s prized possession; priceless and irreplaceable. More important than anything, with nothing being justified in damaging it, and damage it Cole had.

Idiot.

“Terry is not going to be happy.”

“Fuck Terry,” but it’s not from Cole, it’s coming from Daniel. 

“Daniel, please don’t try to stand up,” Tom says, as he sees Daniel try to move off the bed. Even if it is pointless, he knows the guy won’t listen, he is a stubborn SOB. 

Sighing now as Daniel does exactly what he was asked not to. 

Tom has no idea what the nurse gives him but it is impressive he can even function, at any rate. 

Tonight was an experiment to see how he would react if they tried to give him less, have him more lucid.

It’s proving to not have been such a good idea.

Terry had been in the room, was rarely found anywhere else, but had needed to step out to deal with something.

Just a case of bad timing, really. 

It’s about damage control now, that much Tom knows, and he says something to the com on his shoulder. 

“You know what,” Cole spits, “I’m fucking done with this.” He moves towards Daniel, hand reaching out to grab him, who knows, it doesn’t matter - he’s not putting hands back on Daniel again, so Tom stops him, in a move so fast he doesn’t see it coming. 

Cole is lying in the ground moaning, his arm clearly dislocated. 

Daniel sways and he would have been on the ground next to him, if not for Tom gently helping him to the bed.

Terry comes in then.

“What the hell is ….” but he stops cold as soon as he sees the bruise on Daniel’s face. 

His voice is low and even, no emotion as he asks calmly, too calm. “What happened to his face?”

Yeah, he’s digging a ditch tonight. 

Nothing he can do now. Cole really brought it on himself though. 

They all worked with Terry for years, Tom the longest though and while this guy was new, he had come vetted and now that he thinks about it, there would probably be consequences for the one who did the vetting. 

Cole didn’t understand what it was that was so special about this guy and truth be told none of them did, but it didn’t matter.

Because they knew Terry. 

Because they saw how he became a different person around this guy. 

So they knew Terry and they knew he was serious about the rules.

That was enough. 

Cole though, was about to learn the hard way.

Daniel screams something from the bed, vague death threats and how much he hates Terry. 

It’s no wonder they keep him so drugged up.

“What happened?” Terry ask, kneeling down, attempting to reach out but Daniel bats his hands away with his free hand. 

“Don’t fucking touch me, Terry.”

Tom explains the events of the night while Daniel glares. 

“Daniel,” Terry tries, voice soft and soothing almost. “Please …”

“I will fucking kill you,” he tries to lunge at Terry now, who easily subdues him, but not before he also manages to sink his teeth into Terry’s arm as well who grimaces but, does not retaliate. 

Unlike with Cole though, Daniel really manages to get a hold, and Tom winces in sympathy, as he too has been on the receiving end of such an attack.

Not for the first time Tom wonders what the man would be able to do if he wasn’t so doped up, because it’s impressive now.

Tom stands watching. If this was any other situation he would have intervened but not here, not with Daniel.

They all know better and they know not to intervene unless Terry gives a sign, or if Daniel was in danger. 

Terry eventually works his arm free, a litany of death threats that are no longer vague, actually highly specific, and while there is a lot of blood, he simply cradles Daniel, a hand on the side of his head, almost cradling it to his chest, careful of the bruise. 

The nurse comes in, and in moments Daniel goes still. 

Terry holds onto him as she examines his face.

Some cream is spread on it and then Tom watches as Terry transfers him out of his arms onto the bed, putting him under the covers, carefully tucking him in. 

Tom looks away as the older man bends down, kissing Daniel’s head, murmuring to him. 

Tom barks More instructions into his shoulder com, a guard coming in to drag Cole out, unconscious himself now from the pain of his mangled shoulder. 

Before he can be given instructions on how to deal with Cole, the nurse starts to tend to the wound on Terry’s arm. 

“I think we might need a muzzle,” Tom remarks as the nurse puts in a few stitches and Terry laughs.

“Would you believe that his bark is worse than his bite? Although his bite is still pretty vicious.”

Tom nods.

“He’s always been a handful,” and anyone can hear the adoration dripping off every world. “A spitfire full of anger,” he chuckles. 

The nurse finishes, Terry standing then as she begins to clean up the mess, indicating he wants Tom to walk with him.

“What do you want done?” 

“Make an example,” is all Terry answers.

“A permanent example?” Tom asks, just to be sure. Maybe a few broken bones and teeth will satisfy Terry.

That,” he points to the small body on the bed, “is never to happen again. Under any circumstances. No one is to raise a hand to him.”

Tom nods his understanding. 

He knew he was going to be digging a ditch tonight. 

[an-honest-puck]

Prompocalypse (Ep. 16) highlights and viewing notes because I don’t have the time to liveblog while watching but I do have thoughts that I will complete some other time lol

spoilers ahoy!!!

nothing like the power of a teen girl/tiefling's catty sarcasm to completely undermine a villain's monologue (shoutout to the d20 sound crew for the perfect music and timing on that one!!)

Gorgug learns about a new way of disarming people: kissing them

"Stop outing students!"

"I'M GAY NOW WOO"

Lou turning his adding-up-dice-humming into the first notes of 'Amazing Grace' that Zac immediately picks up on and starts swaying along

Brennan's gentle "yeah" when Siobhan admits to having a question that will be bad for the party, but also that she wants to play the game right

even more spoilery spoilers below!

Lou giving Siobhan a thumbs up after the above question

the fact that Goldenrod finds the need to justify to a bunch of teenagers that he's attacking this student because he's just an evil demon and not because said student is gay

Riz yelling "HOMOPHOBE!" at an honest-to-goodness dragon

"To be clear, I am very socially liberal; I am fiscally conservative!" + everyone's reaction to that (shoutout to Zac's very judgemental head tilt XD)

Brennan saying "I am a libertarian!" in Goldenrod's 'teacher' voice and then growling it again straight afterwards, as if Goldenrod just remembered he was a big-ass dragon XD

not Beardsley's "So convenient for you!" lmaoooo

Goldenrod: What? Everyone should be free to do what they want. I should be free to collect gold and destroy, and you should be free to try and run away! This is a cultured political philosophy!

Ally/Kristen: I'm down from hearing that [and not from his actual attack XD]

Brennan: *describing the gnarly metal music Gorgug's listening to*

Zac: *drops his dice*

"Ooh, beignets!"

the little grin on Brennan's face when he rolls the dice and then A WILD JAWBONE APPEARS!!!!!!!!!!

Jawbone hugs!!!!!! 😭

Jawbone: Y'understand me?

Adaine: No!

Jawbone's monologue about panic attacks which is too much to unpack here and is basically a whole post in and of itself

Brennan: *mentions Tracker*

Ally/Kristen: Tracker!

Jawbone: I CAME HERE TO FUCK SHIT UP and help children

"Jawbone rules! I'm so glad we helped get his life together"

Introducing, Jawbone: Not a Healer, but a healer of the mind and the soul uwu

Adaine (but mostly Siobhan lol): I would love to do an arcana check... on this absolute fucking unit

Adaine just double flipping off an honest-to-goodness dragon

Kalvaxus: Aren't you supposed to be some kind of high-falutin' elf?

Adaine: I'm a child. You are attacking a bunch of children, you coward.

Fig: Be careful, Adaine; he has a taste for the young ones

Adaine: I have a mental illness and that's fine!

Kalvaxus: Alright, let's not turn this into a fucking PSA after-school special bullshit

Emily's big brain idea to seal Kalvaxus to be the next lunchlad and promote Gilear to be the new VP

Lou's sick-of-Brennan's-shit "Is it [Kalvaxus's] turn?"

Kalvaxus, an honest-to-goodness dragon and the Emperor of the Red Waste: Teens are so mean!

Kristen, mockingly: "Stop making fun of me!"

Adaine: Yeah well at least we're not ugly!

Adaine's happy bobbing!!!!! :DD

"This medicine is great! :D"

Gorgug's Nat 20 (!!!) to summon GORTHOLAX!!!!!

"IT'S TIME TO SHRED, BABY!!!"

Penelope, dying: All I wanted to be- was queen :'((

Kristen: We know!!

Beardsley trying to figure out how to flip someone the middle finger when they only have 4 digits

Riz/Murph, despondent that he can't roll anything higher than a ten. Everyone else: "You can!"

"Should've gotten silver fillings, bitch!!"

"Man, when I grow up, I wanna be a guidance counsellor!" - Adaine

Fabian's "a-HA!"

the strangest bit of improv when the tables are turned and Siobhan makes Brennan improv something coming out of her character's Jacket of Useful Things ("I open up my Jacket of Useful Things and I say 'I need something that will beat Kalvaxus' and I put my hand in a pocket and I pull out...?) only for Brennan to pull out the whole goddamn lore for the jacket XD

Ally: Can I roll for a nat 20 and then be alive?

Brennan's famous last words: Uh, sure, go for it.

Ally/Kristen: This is to the corn god. I know I left for a while but-

[Brennan.exe has stopped functioning]

Brennan: *flabbergasted and now rapidly figuring out how the fuck to figure this out*

Riz/Murph: Praise be to Helio!!!

Fabian/Lou: He-li-o! He-li-o!

BONUS EPISODE UNLOCKED, BABYYYYYY

[babybluebanshee]

“Omg is Bluey actually for adults?” “MLP is REALLY for the adult fans!” “Holy shit this is so scary no WAY this is actually for kids!” No no no no no NO. Listen very carefully to the words I am about to say - children’s media can be good. It can be great. It can have an appeal across a wide demographic and emotionally resonate with people. It can even be made with the enjoyability of parents in mind because that’s who’s going to be watching it with the kids. No one is telling you that you can’t enjoy them, or trying to shame you for enjoying a children’s entertainment. But, at the end of the day, it is FOR CHILDREN. That’s who should be at the forefront when these shows are created, and trying to change that makes everything worse. This is how we get people calling Steven Universe Nazi apologia because Steven doesn’t summarily execute the Diamonds. This is how we get MLP toys that no longer have stylable hair because bronies don’t like that they’re not “show accurate”. This is how we get a complete lack of horror media for children that isn’t just trying to sell them plushies. The MINUTE older fans start saying a children’s shows is “really for grown ups”, I cringe because I’ve seen what that leads to. If you wanna enjoy that stuff, fine, no one is stopping you. If people make fun of you to the point you feel you have to justify your enjoyment of something, that’s their problem, not yours. But please don’t forget who these things were made for. Kids have it hard enough as it is, just let them have nuanced, entertaining media that’s made for them first JESUS.

(and no this isn’t some asinine attempt to preach purity politics, to “protect the children” or what the fuck ever, and if you try to accuse me of that, I’ll know you weren’t actually reading what I wrote and also probably block you. I don’t care how people enjoy things, what I care about is them taking over a thing that was not meant for them and proclaiming it was actually theirs all along.)

[arrowsinmyskull]

maybe you still think of us; phone buzz, and still, i jump.

pork soda - glass animals

yan ! bartender x gender neutral ! absolutely fucking pathetic ! reader

pronouns for bartender: they/them (gender is ambiguous. you wanna portray them with a gender or none at all or even MULTIPLE or even it fuckinf changes like a light switch?!?!?!!? GO AHEAD BABYGIRL (GENDER NEUTRAL)!!!!!!!! YEAHHH!!!)

pronouns for reader: usually they/them for neutrality, but in this shit, the only things used to referred to you is you/yours

a/n; raaahhhhhhh…. uhh,. i like glass animals. also you are a pathetic miserable pitiful soggy wet cat in this

in the lowest points of your life, you always turned to bars and parties to drown your sorrows in pretty little cocktails decorated with fruits of the highest quality and sparkling layers, even if these prestigious beverages don’t reflect your own state. at your local bar worked a tall, blurry silhouette you came to know as jaelen. though, you could never really make out the intricate details aside from their form and comforting voice with the pre-game drinking you always did, leading to you waltz in their establishment pretty damn drunk and probably fuckin’ up the way you walk, too. you were certainly drunk enough to spill your poor, totally fucked life to jaelen, who absorbed all the traumadumping like a sponge as if they love to hear about your baggage (at first, they certainly didn’t). then one night of you whining turned into a week, and as time does to you in a life of misery, that week was then plural, until you’ve visited for an entire year straight filled with pitiful complaining about god knows what tonight. you’d expect your bartender to be sick of it by now, but no, they got used to it, and even started to like having you around by the 6-month mark. though you were always bitching about the latest bout of bullshit you were put through, you were always a sweet person about it anyway. that’s what they loved. despite everything, you still manage to end the dawn with a smile, a tip, and a warm ‘thank you for listening’.

by then, you were starting to become emotionally dependent. this… ‘jaelen’ person, they always listened with that soft, almost parental voice of what you started associating with comfort and advice, no matter what. they liked that you started to depend on them, just because nobody else was willing to share your burden. that means you’d come back, again and again. that means they’d see your pretty, woozy face, even if you looked kinda dumb when your eyes were drooping and there was a tipsy scowl upon that face. it was cute to them. endearing. they wanted to be the one you came to every day and night, when you needed a listening ear regarding all that you have to suffer from. especially if it makes you cry. god, to them, your tear streaked face added to your beauty. they liked how vulnerable you seemed. if only they could just take advantage of that vulnerabilit— shit, no!! that’s bad! they know they shouldn’t feel like this about you whenever you came around to vent. but they do. so what can they do about it? surely, not complain, right? they justify all of this because feelings are irrational and uncontrollable, especially for an emotional person such as them. maybe it’s just a simple infatuation, maybe it’s a fleeting crush, it’ll all dissipate soon. after all, it simply can’t be helped when it comes to emotions like these, right?

…right?

well, jaelen was totally fucking wrong about every single bit of that. when that year doubled, throughout the second year, their feelings grew stronger, and stronger, and even. stronger. now, it feels unhealthy. obsessive. all the bad things they shouldn’t feel. they’re aware all of this is fucked up. you probably don’t reciprocate anyway. you’re just here to bitch and whine because nobody else would want to hear you out for it except them, since it’s their duty to just stand around and serve drinks while you do so. that seems to be the enabler for them, the best part about it. they can’t do shit about your wailing because they’re here to listen as your bartender, so they can’t just walk away. in turn, this obligation creates a sense of dependency for you and a power trip for them. they feel like your everything, and now that they’re past the point of no return, you certainly are theirs. until, after a stroke of luck that was followed by another.. you stopped venting. your life has gotten better, you’re grateful, content, there’s no sorrow to be washed away by a flood of alcohol… nothing. and.. of course, jaelen noticed these changes from the very first time you walked in, not even appearing tipsy like you used to, with a brighter face which made you look so much prettier that it was stupid. it was a sign that things are starting to look up for you, which, honestly.. they hated. absolutely fucking despised. they missed the way you cried in front of them and apologized for looking so dumb and weak in a bar like this, they missed how much you relied on them for emotional validation as nobody else in your formerly sad life would fill such a role. now, you can’t even spill a damn thing about one minute problem that they could’ve escalated into something bigger, making you overthink and talk more.. just so that you’d like them more for listening the whole way. so.. to have such a staple in their life taken away from them?… yeah, it all came crashing down when you stopped visiting altogether. well, almost.

the thing is, with all you’ve sobbed about to them, jaelen knows enough about you to find you or bump into you, what with how small your town is. they even have your socials, in case you moved, notes about personal details, anything to keep track of you. ‘cause they feared this day, and to their dismay, it finally came. in their freetime, they watch from afar, admiring how much happier you looked. they should feel proud of you, but they only have a stirring feeling of envy and a need to possess. you’re supposed to think of them as the only support you have, but now that everything has turned around, you have a social life, gotten back in contact with your family, and even have a… partner? really? a fucking partner, a lover, a potential spouse that you came to love more than them? what the hell, man, this is basically adultery. that bitch didn’t learn about your life as you went through it like they did, they didn’t listen to you in your worst like they did. so why choose someone else that isn’t them? it was the last straw for them. every time jaelen’s phone buzzes or rings, they jolt up, thinking it’s from you, in case you ever wanted to come back or simply rant over text, but.. it was always from insignificant people who never held a candle to you. they wanted to hear you cry again, to watch as you sob before your glass while everything falls apart around you like they did the first time you visited, the first time you two met. so they brought everything down before your eyes themself. you were out on the porch, alone, getting a breather, like you usually did…

…then came the moment where your beautiful, idyllic life started getting torn down to pieces like it once did years ago. the cause? that same, blurry figure who always sat down and talked to you whenever you had a problem in the bar.

it was that same jaelen.

how the fuck do i wriiiiiiiiite augh

[bigmack2go]

I dont like the headcannon of davey being jewish.

Why? I am glad you asked!

Now listen dont get me wrong here!

Representation is so important especially for religions because in that department even the most popular ones r being bullied these days and then that religion isnt just any but the most hated one in history. The religion that was blamed for practically anything bad that has happened in the last 500-1000 years. In ww|| children didn’t even know this WAS a religion. In Germany they were taught that the word “jew” stood for a monster, like the wird rabbit stands for an animal. Idk if this makes sense but they LITTERALLY didn’t know any better which i personally find makes it worse. The ppl KNEW that they were wrong, and that they couldn’t convince poursouled children of anything unless they made up lies. The thing those children hated was justified. Anyone would hate a monster that only brings evil upon us. But they conected it to a name that describes something else.(the movie jojo rabit brings this accross extremely well and truthfull! It’s available on netflix and i think on prime!) And thats the problem. They knew they were wrong but they needed someone to blame for their own failures and problems. ANd WhO bEtTeR tHaN tHe OnEs ThAt HaVe BeeN aT bLamE fOr ThE pAsT 700 YeaRs???

This began with the germanians spreading Christianity around Europe when jews were still a majority. It was generally a seen as a sin to get along with a Christian, and as we all know in the middle age there have been some babaric events towarts (but also by) religious ppl.

In thirteen-sixty-something the thing got to a whole new level when in (i think it was italy but idk) a fountain was moisted with bacteria and brought back black plague for a lot of people, which obviously got word all around the world quickly. And with that obviously also rumours. The thing is that those rumors were LOADED.

Thats how the hatred toward jews specifically began. People thought they were witches that poisoned their food causing them all to get sick.

(Sry i didnt mean for this to turn into a history lesson hahaha)

So yeah. Representation is so important and I totally stand behind that!

That being said however i genuinely don’t like it with Davey and here’s why:

Im have no problem with the headcannon itself and obv not with people having thah headcannon. What bucks me is how that came to be.

It just feels sooo cliche taking the one character named david jacobs and saying he’s jewish.

I mean

Seriously

David jacobs

David. Jacobs.

David and jacob (lemme guess his sisters name is sarah hAHa- oh wait-)

Like it might be just me but that’s loaded with stereotype.

This might sound weird and/or mean but i genuinely get the feeling, the only reason ppl hc him as jewish is his name.

On top of that theres the fact that i generally just feel like its forced at this point. Again. I stand for representation with everything in me. but people just decided (rather than felt/knew) they needed to represent jewish folks and picked out ONE (1) (s i n g u l a r) character (LITTERALLY NAMED DAVID JACOBS!! Idk if u can tell but im getting rly worked up abt this)and said his family is jewish.

(Then if course theres the fact that i cant deal with the fact that he would have been killed at least in wa|| if not earlier due to being an non-arian jew but he prolly would be killed in one of the worldwars anyway so thats not much of an argument lol)

THATS IT! TYSM if u read this completely!

I also wanna take the opportunity to compell everyone to support palestina!!!!! I’ll put some links down below!

As a Christian i am lucky enough to not be bothered with shit by people i cant deal with but not everyone has that! So here’s just a gerneral reminder to educate and support people of any minority!!!

I will put some links so u can read up about the history of discrimination towards religion and jews!⬇️⬇️

1 Wikipedia article generally summarising antisemit!sm

2 definition

3 antisemit!sm+ history of rivalry between Christianity & Judaism

4 on discrimination and hate/ harassment towards religions in school and workplaces

5 discrimination WITHIN religion

6 some facts

7 using religion as an excuse to BE descriminating

8 read about judaism as a religion, rules and beliefs

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Beyond Hope chapter 2

here it is or read it down below

Daniel thinks about it and thinks about it.  

While he does, his condition worsens.  It’s only a few weeks, but it’s a rapid decline.  He tries to hide the difficulty chewing and swallowing.  It’s fine; he doesn’t need to put much food in him anyway.  He’s having issues using the bathroom.  He’s lucky to piss twice a day, in the morning when he wakes up and at night before he goes to bed.  

He starts acting out his dreams while asleep.  One night, he makes it out of his room and falls down the stairs.  The impact wakes him, the pain searing through his entire body.  He’s tangled in a pile of limbs at the bottom of the stairs, left arm twisted at an odd angle and his shoulder blade feels like there’s glass under the skin.  His right ankle throbs and when he tries to push himself up, he can’t.  

He’s an old man who has fallen and can’t get up.  Daniel tries, again and again, but his stiff muscles refuse to allow him to rise.  After what feels like hours, hot tears spill from his eyes.  

Daniel does the only thing he can think of, and mentally calls out to Lestat.  Armand used to be able to hear him call out like this from nearly anywhere.  But then, he and Armand had the blood connecting them.  

Lestat arrives within the hour.  When he sees Daniel he rushes to him and helps him to stand.  Daniel can’t support his weight on his right ankle and nearly buckles.  Lestat sweeps him up in his arms like some princess and carries him to sit down on the couch.  He talks to him, but Daniel isn’t really listening to what he’s saying.  The pain is too much.  

Lestat calls an ambulance for him and sits with him to wait for it to arrive.  He asks what happened, more gently than Daniel knew Lestat was capable of being.  Daniel finds it’s difficult to speak, his speech slurring.  It’s happened on occasion, here and there, but it’s gotten worse now.  He sounds drunk.  So he explains it mentally, trusting Lestat to read his thoughts.  

The ambulance arrives a little less than twenty minutes later.  Lestat berates them for taking so long and insists on riding with Daniel to the hospital.  Daniel closes his eyes and when he opens them, he’s in a hospital bed with a IV in his arm.  Lestat is standing near the foot of the bed with an Asian woman in her mid-forties in a white coat.  He’s explaining how he’s been taking care of his poor sick uncle, and found him tonight when he returned from an evening out.  

He’s taken for X-rays, and poked and prodded, and questioned.  In the end, he has a dislocated shoulder, a broken wrist and a sprained ankle.  The doctors seem more worried he hasn’t been eating like he should.  And that he hasn’t taken a shit in a week.  Dr. Park wants to keep him overnight for observation, though Daniel objects.

“Nonsense, Daniel.  If the good doctor says you are to stay, you’ll stay.”

Daniel glares at Lestat.  Lestat glares right back.  

Dr. Park glances between the two of them and says “I’ll give you two a moment of privacy.”

As soon as she’s gone, Lestat is by Daniel’s side.  Daniel’s lower arm is in a cast and his ankle is in a brace, and his damn shoulder is still sore from where they reset it.  Lestat eyes his injuries, then looks him in the face.   “Your condition is worsening.  You need to decide.”

He’s silent for a beat, then says “I don’t want to watch you die.”

“I don’t wanna die,” Daniel says.  

“Then you accept my offer?”

Daniel hesitates; thinks of Armand just for a moment.  He’d be furious if someone else turned Daniel into a vampire.  But then, he had never loved him enough to offer him the dark gift.  Lestat barely likes him and offers it.  

Lestat isn’t the best vampire mentor; he’s learned that from Louis.  But before he met Lestat, he thought him nothing but a monster.  Now he knows there’s a softer side.  It doesn’t justify the things he did or make them okay, but it makes him easier to forgive.  Besides, people change.  He’s hardly the same man he was fifty years ago.  And the thing about immortality is you have forever to get it right, to keep trying to be better.  

Daniel nods.  “Yeah, I accept.”

Lestat grins.  “I knew you would see reason, mon ami.” He surprises Daniel by giving him a loud smack of a kiss on the forehead.  “Once you are out of this hospital, we will make preparations.  You must get your affairs in order.  Take the time to say your goodbyes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniel says.  He doubts his daughters will even speak to him.  

Lestat rises to his feet.  “I’ll go gather your things for tomorrow.  You’ll need fresh clothes to wear home.  Rest now, Daniel.”

Daniel falls asleep not long after Lestat leaves.  

It’s afternoon before he can leave the next day.  The doctors want to put him in a care facility.  It takes forever to convince them that Daniel can be released to his own care.  They only relent then when he tells them his nephew has been staying with him to care for him.  He has to call a car service to get a ride home.  Once there, he settles on the couch and spends the day watching trash television.  

All he can think is that soon, he’ll be a vampire.  He doesn’t know whether to be anxious or excited.  

That night, Lestat is later than normal.  Usually he shows up not long after sunset and generally leaves when Daniel decides to go to bed.  Daniel assumes he’s feeding, seeing as he likely interrupted him the night before.  When Lestat does arrive, he knocks on the door, something he never does.  

“Come in,” Daniel calls, not wanting to get up and open the door.  It’s hard to hobble around on the crutches the hospital gave him.  

There’s a moment where Daniel thinks Lestat must have forgotten where Daniel hies the spare key, then he hears the door open.  Lestat comes into the living room and his smile is more of a grimace.  “I don’t want you to be angry, but-”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, just gestures behind him as Armand rounds the corner.  

Daniel’s heart skips.  It’s been over a year since he last saw Armand.  He had given him the amulet before he left, and had told Daniel he would wait for him.  Daniel’s chest feels tight looking at him.  He feels frozen in place, unsure of what to say or do.

“Hello, Daniel,” Armand says and just hearing his voice sends a thrill down Daniel’s spine.  

Daniel looks to Lestat.  “What’s he doing here?”

“Ah, you’re angry.  I told you not to be,” Lestat says, as if that makes any kind of sense at all.  

“Lestat!”

It’s Armand who speaks.  “Lestat contacted me yesterday and told me what happened.  I came right away.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have wasted your time.”

Armand glances toward Lestat.  They hold eye contact for a moment, then Lestat nods and leaves the room.  Daniel watches him go with mounting anxiety and irritation.  He thought Lestat was his friend, and he pulls shit like this?

“Lestat told me what he plans to do,” Armand says, arms folded over his chest.

God, he looks good.  His hair is slicked back and he’s wearing that dark eyeliner that makes his eyes stand out.  His silk shirt is white, as are his pants.  Daniel always did like him in white.  

“And what, you’re here to stop me?” Daniel scoffs.  “Fuck off.”

Armand sighs and comes to stand in front of him.  “No, Daniel.  I’m here to offer you what you always wanted.”

“Huh?”

Armand looks away, then moves to the edge of the couch.  There’s no room to sit–Daniel has to prop up his ankle–so he perches on the armrest.  He’s doing that little self-soothing motion with his thumb.  Daniel realizes that Armand is nervous to be here.  Armand is so rarely nervous.  

“Lestat knows that you’re mine; that if anyone should make you like us, it should be me.”

Daniel doesn’t know what to say to that.  A hysterical sort of laugh bubbles up from his throat.  “What?  Someone else is going to give it to me, so now you want to?  Thought I wasn’t good enough for immortality.”

Armand closes his eyes and takes a breath.  “It was never about that, Daniel.  You have always been enough.”

Daniel’s heart aches and he has to blink back tears.  “It never felt like it.”

Armand isn’t looking at him, eyes focused somewhere over his shoulder.  “That’s my fault; I…apologize if I made you feel lacking.”

Daniel shakes his head.  “You didn’t love me enough to turn me then; what’s changed?  Or did you just call dibs?”

“What’s changed?”  Armand repeats softly.  “I suppose I have.”

Daniel waits for him to go on.  Armand  meets his eyes and Daniel can see they are swelling with tears.  Daniel hates to see Armand cry.  “Don’t cry; it’s not fair.”

“You say I didn’t love you enough to turn you; I say I loved too much to do so,” Armand says, eyes boring into him.  There’s a desperate edge to his voice, like he needs Daniel to understand something. 

It’s a sentiment he’s shared before, but Daniel never believed him.  How could he?  Except now, he can see it’s true.  It’s irrational and frustrating, but it’s true.  And Daniel thinks he can understand it now, after talking to Louis and Lestat and hearing their stories.  These vampires treat what they are like a curse.

“So why now?  Because you don’t want to share your toys with Lestat?”

“It would be a lie to say that has nothing to do with it.  His decision has forced my hand,” Armand says.  He rises and moves to kneel next to Daniel and grasps his hand.  “And why?  Because I’m a coward.  And I love you too much to let you go.”

It’s a cold triumph, after all these years.  “And why does it have to be you?  Why not Lestat?”

Armand’s free hand curls into a fist and his eyes flash.  “Because you are mine, Daniel.”

“Not anymore, boss.”

After a long minute, Armand nods.  “Perhaps not.  Nevertheless, I am yours.”

His cool hand reaches up to cup Daniel’s face.  “I would have you be mine.  My fledgling.  The only one I would break my vow for.”

Daniel feels warmth spread through him.  “Would you offer, if not for Lestat?”

Armand’s mouth curves into a sad smile.  “I told you, I’m a coward.  I could not watch you die.”

“Then what have you been waiting for?”  His own tears well and spill over.

Armand’s thumb strokes over his cheek, collecting his tears.  “Oh, Daniel.  I’ve been waiting for you to return to me.”

Stupid, that it should make him want to cry.  But Daniel is weak; and Armand feels inevitable.  Knowing that Armand would have given it to him is nearly enough to have him forgive him of all his past sins.  Still, he has to know.  “And if I didn’t?  Would you have just let me die?”

“I don’t know; I’ve been avoiding the thought.”

Daniel gets that; he’s been trying to avoid it too.  “So what now?”

“Now you may choose your maker,” Armand says.  “Lestat or I, the choice is yours.”

His hand is still pressed against Daniel’s face and Daniel realizes how cool it is.  Almost icy.  Armand must have come straight here when he heard the news without stopping to feed. He’ll be like that soon, like Armand, like Lestat.  One of them will be his maker.  

“You’ll really do it?” Daniel says.

“Say the word, my love,” Armand says and presses their foreheads together.  “I’ll do it.  We’ll be in hell together after all.”

Daniel thinks of the long months of loneliness, of wanting and missing Armand.  He never planned to act on it.  But now Armand is here.  Armand is here and giving him what he always wanted.  Armand still loves him.  And despite it all, he still loves Armand.  He doesn’t know how to stop.  

“Would it really be hell, if we’re together?”

Armand draws back and kisses his forehead, both his cheeks and finally his mouth.  It feels like coming home.   Daniel clutches him to him with a hand buried in his hair.  Armand pulls back, but only enough to speak.  “Then you’d have me do it?”

“Yeah, yes,” Daniel says.  “I want to live forever with you.”

Forever with Armand.  There’s still a lot of things they have to work out, fights that have to be fought, conversations that need to be had.  They’ll have to learn how to be around each other again, how to make these new versions of themselves fit together.  

Luckily, they’ll have all the time in the world.

[samuelroukin]

UC anon. Okay, now tell me every single thought Ghost had in persona non grata. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Soap isn't the most reliable narrator and misunderstands a lot. I'm particularly curious about Ghost's thoughts

when they meet. Is Ghost just being his usual self and Soap reads it wrong or does Ghost have an "oh no he's hot" moment which actually makes him even more guarded than usual, so Soap is justified in finding his reaction strange?

when Soap confronts him the first time with "Do we have a problem?" and just in general at the beginning. Is Ghost being reserved because he assumes Soap doesn't like him and thus appears overly indifferent?

when Soap smiles at him after the spar session. I shamelessly wanna know if Ghost is smitten here or not.

during the handjob. Does he have Soap figured out by then or is he equally confused by Soap being cold, then running hot in different ways?

the blowjob. Just. Tell me everything that's running through that skull. Is it difficult for him to leave Soap behind (but he's trying to be reasonable because they're outside) or is he deliberately being mean?

The mask moment. Is Ghost touched? Is that the moment when Ghost decides that Soap is his? The moment when Ghost realizes his feelings for Soap?

The granola bar moment. I assume Ghost is flirting, and that it's a general theme, that Ghost is actually trying to be friendly, show that he cares, wants to be close, but fails (or rather, Soap doesn't get it).

When Soap tells him “I don’t need anything from you. Not lectures, not pity, and certainly not your approval.” Is that the moment when Ghost figures Soap out?

when Soap says “Listen, mate, I’ve had enough of you bossing me around, playing your little games. I’m done. Now, fuckin’ move.” Or this? Is that the moment when he realizes that he needs to spell things out for Soap?

When Soap realizes his feelings, what feeling is it exactly? That he has a crush or that it he's full on in love? Cause either way, the boy is absolute shit at self reflection. Then again, I do agree with him that Ghost can be fucking infuriating. Mysterious bastard. I assume that I already know the answers to some of those questions but I definitely need the satisfaction of having then written out. I've read it a while ago but since I'm here now I might as well ask you. Tell me everything. I expect your reply to be at least as long as my ask. You better not disappoint me, boy. (I'm teasing. But I also mean it.)

lmao you're asking me like i remember what i wrote last week , let alone two months ago, but i will try 🙏 under the cut for length lmao

ghost doesn't really think about him twice when they meet, but he Did read up on him (and the others too) and was impressed with his numbers but not so much with his attitude, so maybe he was a little colder than he would've been otherwise

at this point ghost doesn't really care, he isn't pretending to be indifferent, he just is. he doesn't warm up to new people easily and soap is.. different. not necessarily in a way he likes lol

he isn't, but the way soap gave almost as good as he got, responded to what wasn't so much a challenge as a test, does warm him up to soap

he doesn't have him figured out, but he does understand that it's tension running high, and the way soap reacts to him (by getting a boner lmao) is quite literally a way to get a handle on him

this is more mean than he could be, but after the gym thing and the handjob, he knows how soap responds when pushed, and he wants to push some more, see what it gets him. which is more tension but also a way for them to be in each others space without getting mad. when soap gets on his knees he almost expects it, was waiting for something like that to happen again, wanted it to. he leaves him because it's easier not to make it into a thing that way

he doesn't think soap is his, but it does change things. that despite their friction soap would do that, show him that they are a team, shows him he can trust him. makes him think that maybe this can work, even if this is just working together. even if he wants to push his buttons some more

the granola bar thing is half flirting, half peace offering. they get on each others nerves but ghost is finding out more and more just how much he likes that. and that despite soap's protests, he must like it too

100%, soap saying that clicks into place just how much he does want those things, that this whole thing has been messing with him more than ghost realized

yeah this is where he's being a shit and pushing some more, too much fun not to when it keeps getting soap all worked up, can't stay away from it — from soap, but it's not a game to him, not in the way soap thinks it is.

i'm not sure how to categorize those feelings other than being a lot, to me that's always the appeal of their dynamic; the closeness, the way they can't articulate what they need from each other, other than knowing they need each other. in persona it starts out with dislike, but even then they can't stay away, they're not the same and yet they are, blending together even when they try to stay apart

i hope i delivered lksjdhkjhst and i hope i didn't mess up your own answers 🙏

[hypaalicious]

Some good tips I definitely did not figure out until I played most of a year of Twisted Wonderland:

Save your LP refill items for events that require you to farm lessons for event coins. I used to blow through them when I first started because the grind is REAL in this game, but once you get a decent roster it’s best to just stockpile.

Save your macarons/cupcakes/waffles/sugar for Training Camps. You’ll get the biggest bang for your buck, then. I used to blow through them in regular lessons too cause leveling EXP is ASS without them but… not the greatest use of items.

R cards can be your friend. In fact, they carried me through exams and most early content no problem. If you resolve to only use SRs/SSRs from jump you will not have enough mats to flesh out your roster quickly.

Save alchemy tokens for spellbooks. They are STINGY in this game! 😩

Spell scaling is super ambiguous; it won’t matter if your spell goes from level 1 to 2, but it will matter if the spell evolves from like Leaf Blast to Forest Strike. So pay attention to phrases like, “spell changes at level 5/10” and only use spellbooks to reach those benchmarks.

Card level does more for DPS than spells, so if you have to choose what to do first, just level your card and worry about tweaking the spells later. Unless it’s an SSR; you’ll wanna level that second spell up to 5 for Duo Magic!

When leveling cards, pick one character and stick with them as a lesson partner until you reach 1000 lessons so you can net an easy 50 gems. Don’t skip around like I did at first 🥲 I woulda had a lot more gems by now if I was smart LOL

Pay attention to the card type: Defense will be a tank but won’t do shit for DPS. Attack cards will be glass cannons. Balanced cards bring the best of both worlds.

During event shop things, save event currency to buy the keys first, then the SSR/SR Awakening potions, then any SR event card dupes. I don’t recommend buying the event R card dupes only because you’ll get a shitton of R awakening potions doing normal pulls or completing Twistune missions so saving event currency for the most rare things makes sense.

Only use your SSR/SR level uncap potions on event cards if you can help it. Those will be the hardest to get dupes on cause they’re limited.

Unless you will die without having your bias, refrain from pulling on standard banners. Event banners are more rare and anything in the standard pool has a chance to spark while you’re pulling for something else.

Please have one favorite, for the sake of your pocketbook. Especially if you’re F2P. You will not be able to get everyone’s cards. 🥲

The only thing worth buying with real money in the gem shop is the 30-day pass. The rest have HORRIBLE value, imo. I know I’m spoiled to shit by games like Arknights and PAD but twst is not that generous.

How to know if you pulled an SSR; watch the beginning animation of the pull(s). If Grim is on the balcony of the castle when it pans up, you got yourself an SSR. The mirror also says a different phrase than usual.

Twistunes suck, but you can make them suck slightly less by going into options and choosing “Light” setting. The distracting background animations will be minimized and you can actually focus on hitting them damn notes. 😑 Also, watch the demos so you can see what the timing or mechanics are. The Purple twistune mechanic is a MENACE and I simply refuse to do them past the bare minimum. The music don’t hit like that for me to justify putting myself through that torture.

Basic exams judge you on how much DPS you throw out. Defense exams judge you on how much HP you have left at the end. You’ll also wanna time it so that you defeat the other team on round 3 or 4, with your hardest hitting card for the highest possible score. Do NOT attempt Hard mode unless you got some sleek ass high leveled back to back Duo magic cause the difficulty spike is not a joke.

Playing on your phone and you listening to music or get a notif right before lessons start? Reload the game and turn off your other audio or else the game will glitch out and you’ll lose a lesson point. The reason for that is how they trigger lesson starts: by voice line. So if the game don’t pick up that the voice line started because you have music or any other app that has sound playing in the background, it won’t start the lesson. Learned this the hard way. 🥲

[luveline]

hi jade my love!! i was so excited to read if it barks part 4 and i hope you don’t mind me sharing my thoughts and favourite bits once again <3

Pretending gender doesn't play into it would be silly. But it gives you a migraine whenever you think about it, so you try not to. 

+

"The Bangles," you repeat, genuinely surprised by her comparison. "The only thing we have in common with them is that we're girls." 

i know i’ve talked about how much i love that you write your characters multifaceted but also i love how you always build the world around them like she’s not only worrying about her relationship with eddie or the other girls but also how their music is perceived by the industry and how being a girl affects it!!! love it love it love it

The more you know Morgan, the less you’ve felt you could love her. It might be cruel to recognise that. She demeans your style, pokes fun at your body, and worst of all, she takes the piss out of your constant dedication to the music you make. 

+

You do. Morgan’s probably trying her best, in the same way that you’re doing yours, balancing friendship and music and fame and a high-pressure job with little room for slip-ups. And now Eddie. Maybe Morgan has an Eddie somewhere, some larger than life loverboy with a penchant for sharpness and sweetness simultaneously.

omg and the way it parallels to a previous part where r says that she thinks the worst thing about morgan is she could love her </3 also what i said about you writing your characters multifaceted!!

Worse is that this could all be different. If you were prettier, someone Morgan approved of. If you were smarter, and could garner Ananya's interest. Feeling like an outsider in the extreme that you do can't be good for you, but there's no quick fix. The only time it goes away is when you're on stage playing music for a thousand outsiders. Or when you're with Eddie. 

first of many, MANY favourite bits 😭

His hug. That might be what you miss most. Boy's got a world-class smile that gives dizzying, sickly kisses but what you want to feel most is the weight of his arms around you. You want him to hold you steady. 

another favourite <3

If it barks like a dog, and it heels like a dog… You grip the door. You miss him, and it's terrifying. He can be cruel. You can be cruel too, but you'd been at his fucking mercy. He'd looked at you and he'd known exactly what to say that was gonna mess you up. He has a talent for it. You hate this, and you know now you won't sleep until you're sure things are okay between you, though there's no reason anything would've changed since the last time you saw him. What kind of pathetic does that make you? 

i like how they were still able to build a loving relationship even though they’ve said the meanest things to each other. and what i mean when i say that i like is that i’m not big with the enemies to lovers trope because it’s so hard to write it in a way that feels serious and big enough to justify the enemies part of it without crossing the line to something irredeemable and i think you’ve done it perfectly. and that you named your work after that scene!! genius.

"Hi," he says again, something warm in his voice. "Y/N? My Y/N, or a fan who knows just what to say to get my number?" 

You go a bit blind. "Your Y/N." 

+

"Shit, I think I was starting to forget what you sound like," Eddie says. 

+

“You’re such a sweetheart,” you say, not really thinking about how it sounds. “I love that song, it’s so sweet. I thought you were this big scary jerk but it turns out you’re just as soft as the rest of us. Turn it up, I wanna listen.”

+ (last one i promise)

Because you’ve been confronted with the good. His laugh. His love songs. And you’re realising he isn’t as in your reach as you’d thought.

remember when i was so mad at him in the previous chapters? yeah me neither. i love him and i love them.

“I want to tell you something,” Eddie says. 

“Oh, gross. You can’t just say that, now I’m panicking,”

shes so real

There’s a small sound. Maybe he’s licked his lips, or changed positions. “When I… when we had that fight, in the Prover Theatre. I just want you to know that I regret how I treated you. I wish I could take it back, and… I wish I had the guts to tell you in person, but I don’t. Sorry. I’m sorry. It’s not how I want to be, and I need you to know that you’re right about me, I’m a loser, but I’m the kind of loser who wants to take you out to dinner and knock my soda in my lap or try to kiss you too soon, not the kind of loser who leaves you hanging.” He laughs like you had, like it’s being dragged out of him, and you realise that Eddie Munson is panicking on the other side. “Shit, can I take some of that back? I’m cool, I swear.”

ajakajdjakaks 😭😭😭😭 IM COOL I SWEAR STOP I LOVE HIM

Eddie finds that he hates having an almost-girlfriend. In his head, in his chest, you're his girl. He doesn’t know how to explain himself beyond that. It’s this feeling like heat, like light, like the kiss of a sunbeam on a cold day warming his skin. And it’s the blessed breeze in a heatwave, it’s ice on an ache, it’s the feeling of your skin, your pulse under his touch. Absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder —it grabs wanting by the neck and squeezes all the air out. If he doesn’t get to see you soon he’s gonna lose it. 

He tried explaining it to Wayne down the phone, because he’s being a good nephew now and actually calling, but he couldn’t take himself seriously, all those cheesy metaphors like chewed cud in his mouth waiting to be swallowed and yacked back up. He said, “Does it always feel like this?”

And Wayne sort of laughed, a derisive snort to seal the deal, and said, “Eds, you ain’t the first kid to fall for a girl.”

jade baby that was BEAUTIFUL. definitely one of my favourite bits. so so beautifully written. that last part made me think of a james baldwin quote where he says (something around) that we tend to think our feelings are unprecedented in the history of the world <3 love that

He blames himself, thinking you were right after all – he did kiss you too soon. And for the wrong reasons. Now he knows what it feels like, knows what sound you make when you like it, how was he ever supposed to move past that? Your arm under his lips, or your hair against his cheek as he tried to hug the bone-deep dread out of your system, a faucet drip drip dripping by your thigh. He can’t remember what you smell like anymore, only that you smelled good, and he gets that this’ll be the nature of whatever relationship you two manage to cradle for a long while; he’d never ask you to follow him, and he thinks you’d rather die than do anything similar. 

this whole section too LIKE 😭 he knows he kissed her way too early and before they could do things right like apologize and start it all over but now HOW COULD HE NOT DO IT. also the way that he can’t remember what she smells like and knows that it’ll probably be like that again in the future cause it’s the kind of stuff you need to be around constantly to remember exactly but they would never ask her to leave everything she worked so hard to get behind and she would never do the same to him 😭

Better are your hands. No, better is your smile, because he knows you more than he should already and he knows what your smile means. You’re happy to see him, and you don’t want him to know it. 

the “no, better is your smile” kinda caught me off guard just cause it felt so pure like we were watching the thought pop in his mind 😭 i loved it

Eddie’s surprised at your honesty, not because you aren’t an honest person, but maybe because he’s used to skirting around the issue with you. There’s a mutual attitude that anything unsaid is untrue, and lately you’ve both said a ton of stuff you can't take back. He’s sorry, he wants to see you. You feel better when you’re with him. It’s embarrassing considering how little time you’ve spent together, and Eddie wants to change that.

+

Unfortunately for him, there’s a little more awkwardness to cut through, the shame of vulnerability or the realisation that you’re both standing on the precipice of something shiny and new. Suddenly, every word feels important. He has to make it clear that he’s repentant, and desperate, but only for you. 

i think that it makes so much sense that they’ve built this relationship on honesty and even like things you wouldn’t say to someone you’re only starting to build something with cause wasn’t it like that all the time for them? even when they were not lovey dovey but brutally mean to each other, weren’t they doing the exact same, being honesty but in a cruel way? i love that. love that you’ve built their relationship like that. also HES REPENTANT AND DESPERATE BUT ONLY FOR YOU 🤧

Over the phone, he's told you about Wayne and growing up, and about stuff he doesn’t think he’s told anyone before, not secret so much as mundanities that no one ever wanted to listen to. He sticks to mundane things for now. Like the phone calls between you both (new, occasional, but always too long), he talks until he runs out of things to say, and even then he drags it out to a painful threshold.

the idea of eddie telling her about wayne and his life growing up is so wholesome to me 😭💘

You give him a look that can only be described as loving. It’s pure affection, and if he weren't sitting he’d have fallen over from how it makes him feel. You lean forward until the top part of your face is on his cheek, your eyelashes twitching like a butterfly’s wing. 

beautiful. SO beautiful. also eddie being obsessed with her eyelashes since the previous parts is something so important to me

"I'm a big girl," you say after a short second of staring at him, the ridge of his nose and the curls silhouetting his slight hint of cheekbone. "I don't need you to take all of the blame." 

"Ah, but I'm selfish. I want it all." He shrugs. "Better luck next time." 

aagghhhh <3<3<3

You love this. All these familiar touches. Like a moth to a flame, you follow him back up into the main storefront and sit beside him on top of a crate, cradling the Les Paul like a baby you're terrified of dropping.

this part alone made me create a whole playlist for them in my head i swear. LOVE the moth to a flame imagery <3

"Like I'm your dog," you say, a joke that brushes too close to home. You fumble over the strings, gaze resolute on the body of the guitar rather than his face. You don't care that he said it —you care that he knows he said it. It doesn't make sense in so little words, but the feeling is contrite. It doesn't allow for sensical explanation. The humiliation of being seen is worse than a spurned insult thrown haphazard at your feet. His insult isn't as bad as your reaction to it. The fact that he knows it upset you. That's the worst part. It's embarrassing because he was right. Of course it is. And it doesn't get better, because you're still the same. Still running back after every kick. No matter the leg.  

i literally flinched when she said “like im your dog” cause i KNEW it was gonna hit too close to home for them. also the raw emotion of not caring about what he said but the fact that he knew it would upset her and it did. you have such a way of putting confusing and weird feelings into words i love you for that. also!!! still running back after every kick no matter the leg???? insanity. beautifully written but criminal.

"I think you're beautiful. You impress me, and you make me wanna write bad songs," he says, rubbing his thumb over your fingers. "What am I saying? I can't write a bad song. It's impossible. Especially if they're about you." 

another favourite lovey dovey bit <3

"I don't care if everybody wants me," he says, and kisses you again, your noses smushed together. "That's not true, anyway," —he laughs quietly into your open mouth, his breath warm as it fans over your lips and tongue— "and if it were," —he kisses you a third time, his head tilted to the side, his lips parted a fraction like he can't wait long enough to line up with you— "it wouldn't change what I want." 

cryinh jade how could you WRITE this. how.

Colo Do Amante Hotel, April 1991

omg is that in portuguese or am i tripping

He's trying to write about how you look now before you move, before he can forget it.

nothing to add just thought this was adorable. also made me think of that previous line where he says that he will eventually forget these small things about her when she’s not around <\3

Being your almost boyfriend comes with privileges, like being privy to how you're feeling. Once unbeknownst to Eddie and probably everyone in your life, you're not a very happy person. He could guess why, he's not blind, but thinking it and knowing it are two different ponds. You don't say much about it, embarrassed by or maybe unable to verbalise how you're feeling beyond, "I'm tired of everything today," and, "Sorry, I'm just worried." 

:( <3

"It's weird that we managed to find each other," you say. "Though everything. You had to like all that music, we had to want this bad, we had to be born at the same time, in the same scenes, and we had to go to the same stupid party." 

+

Recollection lights your eyes, and then, like he'd so desperately wanted to see months ago when he wandered into you of all people at a sticky, snow-loaded party, you smile at him. Like you missed him. Like you can't believe your luck. 

"Well, hey, stranger," you whisper, your thumb rubbing along his bottom lip, fingers tucked neatly behind his ear. "I remember you." 

"You took your time," he says. 

SHUT UP THIS WAS THE MOST WHOLESOME THING EVER

also even though they’ve met before it’s still insane that they were able to find each other again. if anything it makes it even more weird how much things had to happen in a certain way so it could lead them to one another. the string tying them together etc <3

Earnestness has you sounding your best: your voice has always been one of his very favourite things about you. Your voice, your smile, your passion (maybe that one most of all). When you talk as you are now, without anything in the way, he thinks he might be at his most infatuated. 

the way he’s constantly mentioning her smile and her eyelashes and her voice and!!!!!! im going insane!!!!!!!

You pick up your camera and aim it at his face. He knows how he must look, his hair frizzy from hours on a small plane, lips sore from kissing you, ridiculously happy. Now you know everything about him he'd been purposefully hiding. All the bad in all of the good, and all the good in all of the bad. He can't wait to tell you the rest. 

RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY. HE CANT WAIT TO TELL YOU THE REST. BYE.

love the “all the bad in all of the good, and all the good in all of the bad” too. i think its a great imagery to how you’ve been portraying these characters!

"Listen," he says as he breaks away, his lips tingling, heart in his throat. "Can I be your boyfriend?" 

He hadn't meant to ask like that. 

You nod slowly, then quickly, trying uselessly to tamp an ecstatic smile as you paw at his arms. Eddie pulls you back up onto the bed and you make camp in his lamp, hands in his hair and lips like an undulating wave against his. He kisses you until he can't think.

jade. i love you. i love your writing so much. i love the effort and the love you put in every single one of your works and if it barks it’s turning out to be one of my favourite fics of yours just cause of how much care you put into building this world and these characters as real and honest and flawed people!!! i think whatever comes next is gonna utterly break and shatter my heart and i trust you completely to do it.

you’re insane (affectionately) for that cliffhanger btw.

i love youuuuu 💌 - lu

I love you 😭😭😭😭 I don't think I can say everything I want to but let's have a go lmao

I say this every time but you always pull the parts that i think I might be writing just for me, it makes me so happy that you notice !! Their honesty with each other that fosters both meanness for each other and sweetness, like how their relationship might feel as though its happening in the wrong order but it happened this way because they're willing to be honest more often than they want to be right if that makes sense, it's my favourite type of person! It's scary to say sorry and they trip over themselves to do it anyways because Eddie feels so built for being a dick, even though what he said wasn't wrong

I love writing the loving parts and I don't know if im silly but with Eddie it comes easy the voice I have for him in my head is showful and scared but also willing to be vulnerable for the right reasons like he is in the show, plus hes cool and suave and also a huge loser and I want him too much and writing if it barks is like half love letter to him and half love letter to loser girls who keep getting kicked lol.

They're so messy! They're in love but they aren't, they barely know one another and they know each other too well!! All the good in all the bad ... its why they could hate each other so quickly, I think, cos they could see parts of themselves in each other they already didn't like perhaps, disguised as foreign grievances or maybe they're just idiots 😭

I really love doing the world building even though I don't know nothing about nothing, I don't know America or music, I can't play guitar, I don't know what that feels like, but i can relate to loving a craft and wanting to get so good at it even as you know there's someone better and someone with more practice and even more opportunity as most people feel too!! Plus world building is a joy beside seeing yourself in the world because it feels like setting a stage or painting a background, it makes everything feel more real for me and hopefully anyone reading

I was really struggling to pull the strings together and then one day I was showering and I thought HOLY SHIT!! there's no reason for Eddie to hold onto it anymore, he knows the reader isn't cruel intentionally, he knows she likes him, could love him, so there's no reason to keep it to himself! But I also knew that when he finally traded that in, the balance would start to shift, cos you don't ever really know everything about someone and especially not so soon into a relationship no matter how affectionate you feel, and of course the plot needs somewhere to go now they're in love. The plan for the next chapter is so awfully chaotic and I'm sure it won't stick cos it never does but love(lust, fondness, etc) doesn't suddenly scrape your flaws clean, they're still the people they were before (not entirely, but the deep rooted stuff remains), and it's gonna come back!

"you have such a way of putting confusing and weird feelings into words" you say this but you explained it better in the line before than I did after a paragraph 😭 no but that's the point of contention at this point —it's not that they said certain things, but that saying those things signals both the capability to be cruel (whcih we all have) and the willingness, as well as that read he has on her . It's a really squirmy feeling to be seen for what you fear you are so quickly, and it's bad! But they're saying sorry and trying to fix it because they care about each other, again the honesty ties in if you get me? It's hard to explain haha.

reader is loyal to the wrong people and its going to bite! And Eddie I think has done more growing than she has, she might have to catch up, but he's not perfect of course and im really excited to move forward with all of that so they can foster something special (after pain and agony :D)

I love you! Your thoughts are my favourite thing in the world, and I'm so privileged and happy and lucky to get to read them!! ♥♥

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 69 - nice - Folding laundry

Of course, it's a Web episode and it starts with Martin.

MARTIN "No but she’s pretty private with that stuff. Not like Tim." - Tim going on and on about his dates and/or hook-ups is canon.

Jon immediately getting defensive when Martin mentions Tim and Martin begging Jon to just talk to Tim. I'm guessing Tim and Martin are talking about this, Martin being the caregiver and Tim being pretty open (except for his brother and his whole history with the Stranger).

JON "Ironically, I think working is all Tim and I can do together." - Meaning they also had a non-work-related relationship? I mean, we don't know, but they were both in research and Jon asked for Tim (and Sasha) as assistant, so that at least implies that Jon did know him to some extent, that he said "I wanna continue working with this dude". I really like to see them both as friends before all this shit started, even if Tim was a bit salty about Jon getting the Head Archivist position instead of Sasha.

MARTIN "Look. Jon… when was the last time we all just talked? Just talked, without all of this –" - And so they did talk non-work-related stuff before all went to hell? Did they go to the pub together? I like to think it was like that. S1 Archives Crew <3

MARTIN "He’s not wrong, you know." - Not wrong about what?

I love Jonny's way of introducing a story like "I'm gonna vaguely talk about that thing that happened without ever saying what happened or I'm giving you one horrible detail that came out of all this, just to make everyone curious"

"And when I started to see more and more spiders around the lab, I turned the very real sense of unease into the… the fun sort of fear, like I was just playing at being scared. It’s so strange, even when you’re really looking for horror, it’s impossible to actually believe it. It always feels like something you made up. Just having a bit of fun scaring yourself. Because those things don’t happen. Not in the real world." - This speaks to me very much.

"but I know ESP research when I’m mopping its floors." - Well, I don't so I'm googling it xD (Is the term generally known in native English speaking?), Let's see, what we've got there "ESP has been defined as ‘anomalous processes of information or energy transfer, processes such as telepathy… that are currently unexplained in terms of known physical or biological mechanisms’" (https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/extra-sensory-perception-controversial-debate)

"Not that I minded, of course; I love that crap." - I do love that crap too. But I actually mind it very much in the real world, especially when they want to justify it in the medical field. All this pseudoscience mumbo-jumbo like energy medicine is potentially dealing with persons who seriously need medical attention and those Charlatans gonna send them home like nothing's wrong. This is highly dangerous.

"I’m a horror nut but I generally tend toward the more sci-fi end. Demons and ghosts have never really got me but give me aliens or the sinister powers of the human mind and I am there." - Funny, I'm very much the opposite. I mean, I AM a horror nut! But I like supernatural horror the most. Sci-fi yes, but it depends. Alien (the movie, not Aliens as monsters), yes! The Thing, I mean come on, of course! Annihilation (this one has also has cosmic horror tho), Life, Underwater (Hmm… there's a pattern of inescapability). Interesting that a lot of movies, that I would count more as cosmic horror than sci-fi (Bird Box, The Endless, The Mist, Color Out of Space… ok, that got "space" in it) are categorized as sci-fi horror. Hm… Maybe I do like sci-fi horror more than I thought and it's just sci-fi-sci-fi which I don't like? I'm definitely fed up on Christian religious/demon movies for the next few years tho, that is getting old… So yeah, just my… thought for the day! XDD

"The subject’s name was Annabelle Cane." - On my first listen I couldn't focus and barely followed the plot. So naturally I totally missed Annabelle being introduced in this episode.

"I’m sure you can guess what I ended up cleaning more and more of over the course of the study. Cobwebs." - I wonder if you could kind of see this part of a subtle hint, that no cobwebs in TMA ever are a coincident.

"I can still remember her face as she told me that Annabelle had apparently reported having several unsettling dreams about spiders. Notably, at no point in the experiment had she been informed that it was spiders being used." - I wouldn't be too sure about that being a sign of "telepathy" as the statement-giver just told us, that he saw more and more cobwebs in the building and sometimes spiders scuttling away to hide. Annabelle easily could have seen them as well.

"She dressed like a vintage clothing store exploded on her" - lol

"every one of the other participants in that study, Dr. Bates’ so-called “projectors”, have also disappeared. I cannot help but wonder how many cobwebs might be found in their old homes." - Just a year ago he laughed about Carlos Vittery and now he's saying stuff like this xD S1 Jon was fun at times.

Aw man, Jon sounds so sad in the supplemental part..

"I should ask the others for help but I… I can’t. At best, they’d just try to talk me out of it. At worst… No, I… if I’m going down there, I go alone. I should just leave it." - He wants to be with the others. But he knows he burned that bridge with at least Tim and probably (Not!)Sasha as well and I'm guessing he is very much still paranoid having the Not!Them around.

"But I can’t not know." - When my spouse listened to this he laughed and said "Ha, he's just like you!" Yeah, thanks :/

I feel ESP research and experimentation is probably much more common in a reality that hosts supernatural horror, even if it's not a universally known fact, it still lurks underneath everything, making people more inclined to study it and create with it as inspiration. In the same way I feel the horror genre is probably more prevalent in that kind of world as well

[quirklove]

“Honesty” by Halsey, but you’re lying awake with DABI as you hide him in your apartment amid the fallout of the entire world shifting.

Maybe he’s justified in everything he’s done. Maybe not. You don’t know for sure. All you know for sure are three things.

One? You love this man with your entire heart and soul, and you can’t conceive of not loving him. Two? He has been irreparably hurt, both by his family who should have loved him and by the rest of the world.

And three? There is no going back. There’s no returning to any carefree or ‘normal’ life you might have had before. If you want to stay with him, you have to sweep whatever you used to know under the rug.

Ever since you fell in love with him, you can no longer imagine your life without him. As many times as he’s warned you, your feelings haven’t listened.

You stare at him in the darkness; tracing drawn hearts around his scars, sifting your fingers through his hair to acclimate yourself to seeing white instead of black, silently saying goodbye to your old life.

After a while of this, he proves that he’s awake by speaking. “You know you’re giving up everything for me, right?” As if he still questions it. Like he still thinks that’s the wrong choice for you to make. He thinks you’re making a mistake by choosing him. He doesn’t think he’s worth the rest of your life. “Your whole world. Has that sunk in yet?”

“You’re my whole world, Dabi.” You murmur it without any hesitation, nuzzling against his collarbone. “As long as I have you, I can live without everything else.”

A low noise from somewhere deep in his throat vibrates against your skin. “You’re gonna get yourself fucking killed ‘cause of me one day.”

You curl your arm tighter around his waist. “No, you taught me how to protect myself. It’ll be okay.”

“Haha. Don’t know where all this confidence came from. You fuckin’ doe-eyed, sappy-hearted little thing. How come I didn’t burn up my feelings for you like I burned up all the rest of my feelings, huh?” He runs a hand through your hair, and the rhythm of his breathing almost lulls you off into sleep.

His voice is rougher than normal, vocal cords strained by the toll his Quirk has taken on him lately. (The cigarettes don’t help, but you’ve noticed he hasn’t had a single one since you brought him back to your place today.)

You know what he wants to say, because it’s present in his touch. He wants to be able to tell you how much you mean to him. How much the fact that you’re willing to basically run away with him means to him. How he’s never had the kind of support and devotion you give him, and how your love feels like medicine for his heart.

You feel it in every stroke of his fingers through your hair, in the gentle way his hand cradles the small of your back. He doesn’t know how to be careful with anyone else. Just you.

Instead of saying any of that, he says something that says all of it and more with fewer words. He presses a kiss to the top of your head before whispering, “All I know is you better not die on me. Wouldn’t wanna leave me all alone, would you?” he adds in a teasing tone.

“I won’t die. But if I do, you have to die, too. Okay?” You stretch up to kiss him. “So neither of us has to be without the other for long.”

He chuckles, and his eyes slip closed. “Okay. Get some sleep, sweetheart. Shit’s about to get real, so I need your cute little ass rested up. We have our deal, but I don’t want us to die because we were fucking tired.”

You nod, finally settling in. The weight of everything to come looms above you… you’re just determined not to let it ruin what’s happening right now.

The world is silent for what feels like a long time before you speak up with your eyes closed. “I love you, Dabi. I think I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything.”

If you’re not mistaken, his grip on you tightens again. “… Love you too, sweetheart.” And, as if he can’t just let those words be the last thing that hang in the air, as if he’s afraid that he just admitted it, he mumbles, “Go to sleep, okay?”

Tomorrow will come whether you like it or not. The sun will rise, and whatever happens will happen. You don’t know what the future holds.

But you do know one thing that will happen tomorrow.

You and Dabi will be together.

baby, hold me I’m looking for a little bit of honesty take me slowly give me just a little, baby, promise me there’s a hollow in my chest and you can take whatever’s left and baby, maybe you could give me just a little bit of honesty.

[pudgy-planets]

It’ll get better, oh sure. Sure it will.

It’s not like believing in that hasn’t gotten me anywhere.

My mom has assaulted me twice, my grandfather has manipulated me multiple times, I make the dumbest fucking mistakes imaginable, whenever I call someone out on their bullshit it’s not fair to them and it’s my own fault for not communicating it, I’ve contacted authorities on my mom assaulting me and they just said a bunch of jargon without actually doing anything about it whatsoever, my mom’s boyfriend in the past beat the shit out of me when I didn’t do anything he said, and I’m surrounded by the legion of hypocrites that is my family who refuse to acknowledge the shit they’ve done or take responsibility.

I have tried. I HAVE FUCKING TRIED over and over and over and over again. And yet where do I end up? Ground zero again. Life rarely shows me any reason to keep trying. Right when I think it’s about to turn around, guess what? Life has to remind me that I’m a worthless piece of shit that wasn’t inherently planned.

When I want stand up for myself I’m beaten down. When I wanna make a good point, I’ve been beaten down. When I desire to be happy and joyful, people have told me to calm down, stop being weird, stop rocking, are you special Ed or something, people are going to think you’re weird or challenged.

God forbid I try to explore my own identity and who I am, and apparently it’s not fair to my mom that I’m thrusting on her or coercing her into letting me start estrogen. BECAUSE ITS ACT Of rebELLION AND THERE WERENT ANY SIGNS AND YOU SHOUDLVE TOLD ME.

WHEN I HAVE TOLD HER SO MANY GOD DAMN TIMES THAT IM SCARED TO APPROACH HER WITH SHIT- her response? “I don’t know why?”

YOU HAVE PHYSICALLY HARMED ME ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS. And all my family justify it. Because I’m always in the fucking wrong.

I can’t take it. I’m supposed to let it slide? Let it be that way because I’m the “child”??? I don’t talk about my problems because whenever I do it all loops back to me being not being good enough or it’s my own fault.

I should’ve gotten CPS involved back in high school when some of this happened and my counselor offered, but noooooo I had to be so naive in seeing what little good I thought was in them.

I hate my life, I hate myself, I’m nothing special I’m nothing unique, I’m this utter nuisance who continues to exist without contributing anything without some sort of purpose. I have virtually no will to live and I’m only alive because I’m stubborn.

I can’t do shit right to save my life andi am not good at anything, half the time people just abuse what kindness I express and expect me to be their listening ear because I won’t criticize or lash out at them with the hard truth.

So what I’ve created thsi world on my blog? Anyone could do it. It’s not like it’s unique or anything because all I do is take unknown franchises that people don’t know and fail to garner any interest because I AM NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH TO GARNER IT.

EVEN IDEAS I MIGHT HAVE PEOPLE END UP DOING IT 10X BETTER THAN MY DUMBASS COULD.

What I exist and I’m nice? Big wooo anyone could do it.

What is the point. What is the point? I just don’t see the purpose anymore. If. I was actually half way good at anything maybe I’d actually be a happier person who isn’t aware of their inherent flaws and existence.