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ataraxixx · 8 months

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How did roleswap citrus meet each other? 0: also how are some of their conflicts reversed? if this is stuff you can share lol :)

HI ok so im still working out a lot of this au in my brain bc i am kind of bad at aus so sorry if some of this seems kind of bad or makes no sense….. This is also gonna be a long one and answer a lot more than just ur question so sorry. But i need to infodump it somewhere </3 ill put it under a break bc this is a LONG One sorry

So for morro ive talked abt how i think hes a robot who was built to fulfill the green ninja prophecy and his is his sole purpose/directive. To defeat the dark lord. Kind of how zane/echo are ‘built to protect’ and live by that (or try to lol). So morro is created a long time before the ninja come together and he seeks out wu in order to figure out how to get to Garmadon. Because his purpose is to defeat garmadon. And wu is like.(who the fuck is this guy) and basically takes him in under the impression that. Maybe he could actually be the green ninja? And even though wu realizes its definitely not morro he does keep trying to train him bc he doesnt want morro to go off on his own to try and find garmadon. But eventually he has to come clean and morro is annoyed bc he thinks wu has put everyone in danger by stalling the prophecy (he obviously doesnt believe it when wu tells him hes not the green ninja because he *is*!) and he tries to leave as wu predicted, but wu doesnt let him and instead shuts him off for his own protection. Morro gets to live in the monastery basement for awhile and wu always thinks abt powering him back on but doesnt bc hes like. This guy is going to try and do stupid shit (hes right). So he just stays in the basement until obv the ninja arrive and the shows events happen as normal but the monastery gets burned down and in the rush to get out and the move to the bounty, wu forgets abt morro being there… and when he does remember hes there, he ultimately decides its probably for the best if he isnt powered on again bc there IS a green ninja now and he doesnt know what morro would do if he met lloyd. And doesnt want lloyd to get hurt. So cue skybound when nya and jay are on the run from nadakhan, instead of going to the lighthouse they instead go to the ruins of the monastery because jay remembers wu had this cryptic ass basement he would never let the ninja go into, and jay thinks maybe theres some kind of crazy secret weapon in there or something that can stop nadakhan. Instead they find morro, and they power him on. And hes like. Oh! Youre the other ninja from the prophecy. and agrees to help them although hes a little confused on whats going on bc hes like shouldnt we be fighting garmadon… but he joins the substitute ninja in the fight against nadakhan.

Echo was Dr. Julien’s original son who was alive and like. A #real boy. I think maybe dr. julien wife(??) died in childbirth and echo was born very sickly so dr. julien sought out a magical way to heal him. I think this is probably how he got involved with the skeletons in the first place bc them seeking him out always felt random to me i feel like they should have some history mb. So maybe like samukai or another skeleton was like oh i totally know a spell that will make your son healthy and normal. And dr julien was like . Hm. but kind of desperate so he went with it and of course it did make his son healthy and normal. Except the price of the spell is that it curses the soul of the person its used on. So echo lived normally with his father for many years until he was outside late collecting firewood one evening and was attacked by treehorns (this was before dr. julien built the guard robot) and A) discovered he had the ability to control the wind which was cool. Except he didnt know how to use it and just kind of fucked up badly and got lost in the woods while trying to run from the treehorns. And B) was still injured in the fight and now Also Lost and basically died trying to get home from both injuries + hypothermia. Rip bozo!. And of course dr. julien was devastated and like pinocchio-core i guess decided to build a new son and that is the Current Zane. he is a copy but he was never told about that of course bc dr julien didnt want to think abt the son he lost. But yea echos soul was cursed and he went to the cursed realm which um. Hardened him so to speak. He learned he was cursed because of his father and it pissed him off a little bit but only mildly. But i think the cursed realm is like hell or whatevr so the ghosts go through bullshit all the time bc like. Theyre the souls of the damned or whatever right. So by time echo manages to get out hes become apart of the pre eminents ranks and her plans and what not and hes like sure whatever. I want revenge on my dad for cursing me (<-- guy who has gone through the ringer) but he gets out at the end of s4 and discovers. Oh. my dad didnt just curse me. When i died he replaced me with a stupid machine! Ok! And he possesses zane and also does pre eminent plan and etc….average s5 stuff i think. Idk im not the best at rewriting seasons if anyone has any ideas for this let me know.

I think at the end of s5 echo doesnt get his shit rocked because i like him. And i think it would be nice if he could get along with zane a little. So maybe he stays as a ghost and maybe nya or borg or whoever builds him a robot body he can possess and use instead of being a ghost all the time:) and he doesnt necessarily join the team bc hes not . a ninja nor does he want to be but hes still the master of wind so hes a useful ally to the ninja and helps them out with bigger threats. LIKE. the sons of garmadon. Transition…. (PS. i also think that echo and morro would meet in skybound bc echo would also be on the substitute ninja team but this would be undone by jay. Of course)

So. the SoG go to the ruined monastery at some point or other to try and find some dirt on the ninja and also just to find old wu scrolls or whatever they can scrounge up. And What they DO scrounge up is this fuckass robot whos been here for however long bc. Obviously skybound didnt happen! And jay and nya never went back for morro bc they were like. Umm he was weird and also would probably try to kill lloyd if he met him maybe. And also like lets be real they just wanted to ignore this shit ever happened why else would they leave echo in canon lol. So the SoG find Morro and power him on and hes like ummm. Hey. its me. The green ninja. Who are you. And harumis like…??? Are you sane or what. But she sees an opportunity here. Bc this robot solely wants to fight garmadon. And shes like. Ok. well we’re gonna get garmadon here. If you help us you can fight him. This is your destiny. And hes like damn ok sure sounds good to me! (nobody is gonna tell him that the destiny already happened and theres Another Guy who is the green ninja btw). So morro joins the SoG idk what his name should be. Mr. M is fucking stupid sorry. If anyone has any ideas for morro biker name lmk. But hes there or whatever and then when lloyd goes undercover in the SoG and snake jaguar fight a la mutt malamute style. Morro and lloyd fight and morro reveals his identity to lloyd as the green ninja (he thinks hes very cool) and lloyd is like. What. lmfao. And is like. Youre not the green ninja …? I am…? And they get into a fight abt it and morro beats up lloyd bc hes annoyed at all the lies this guy is saying to him about how his destinys already been fulfilled and wu lied and etc etc. lloyd loses the fight rip bozo.

I am a wojira duo fan and i think that persists here except its echo and nya instead so im gonna talk abt that. I think theyre friends. So i think nya would confide in echo about the events of skybound and so i think echo remembers what happened (in my mind skybound is like. Everyone can remember it but they have to be reminded what happened for it to be recalled? Bc splinter implies lloyd and clancee have vague impressions of it in their minds. Idk its interesting). So he remembers morro and when lloyd is like yea some fuckass robot is saying hes the green ninja jay nya and echo all collectively just kind of look at each other about it. Like thats OUR fuckass robot saying hes the green ninja. And because i am not limited by pacing i can do whatever i want and have jaya tell the team abt skybound finally (things that shouldve happened in s8 originally lol) and theyre all like. Oh. what girl. And jay insists that if they can get to morro and tell him what happened in the lost timeline he will remember it and join them bc hes a good person at heart. (probably). So the next time they encounter him would actually be when pixal finds the SoG in ‘the quiet one’ so i think. Echo and her went together to go stall them since echo can also just fly over w the mech using powers lol. So they find killow morro uv and echo and morro fight 1v1 . yuri btw. And echo reminds him of what happened and morros like. Hm. I do remember this. But i need to help the SoG so i can defeat garmadon and prove im the green ninja. So fuck off? But i think obv when the SoG DO revive garmadon morro immediately tries to fight him and gets his ass kicked……I dont think he gets destroyed but i do think he gets fucked up enough (the ninja probably fix him) that he realizes lloyd wasnt lying and that he isnt supposed to be the one to fight garmadon. Like theyve all been saying. Which kind of fucks him up a bit bc like. Thats literally his sole purpose and wtf is he existing for if he cant even do that. Youve given the perfectly good robot anxiety oh no. but also i could probably talk abt this for another like 4 paragraphs i need to put an end here bc this is already like 3 pages on google docs…….Sorry you did not ask for all this. But i needed to explain the context

#citrusswap au #ajasks

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alstroemerian-dragon · 10 months

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the thing about. okay so when i first got into dr i was like ‘i think i prefer an outcome where they ultimately cant wake the other ten members of their class and its just the five survivors because then the deaths meant something yknow’ and while i still think that that kind of thing has. yknow. merit and value. i have actually come around to preferring them being able to do it. with one massive caveat.

it takes forever.

it takes at least a year and a half, two years maybe, before they (lets be real, hajime) even gain the knowledge of the system, work out its quirks, beef up its security and tech, connect it to enough power, and build the proper technology to manage something like this, and even then, each person is going to need a unique plan of action. its going to take ages. i think its best if they start from the first death through the last, which has the added benefit of waking the impostor first and gaining a good moral compass and grounding presence. but… i mean. its almost two years before they even manage the first dive into their brain. two years of living alone, just the five of them, of building each other up of building a dynamic, one that works, and of changing and growing because they have no other choice.

so when it comes down to them actually attempting to wake the first person… theres some anxiety. theres some worry. theres a lot of ‘this is going to radically alter how we relate to each other and everyone else’. theres a lot of ‘this is going to make things weird’. theres a lot of ‘theyre not going to understand a lot of things at first not only because its been two years since we all went under and everything has changed in that time but also because the five of us have a fundamentally different relationship now with each other than we will have with anyone else we wake up. thats going to cause conflict’.

and i dont even necessarily mean that in a romantic relationship sense (though if you know me you know im deeply unwell about kuzuhina and also an absolute sucker for polycule shit so yeah i do also kinda mean it in that way), but just that their bond is so strong. living alone on an island in the middle of nowhere for two years with just four other people will do that. they know each other in fundamental ways that the others may never manage. fuyuhiko may get peko back, but her relationship with him will never be the one he has with hajime, or akane, or kazuichi or sonia. sonia will get gundham back, but despite them definitely regaining their romantic relationship (after an adjustment period, of course), there will be an odd dissonance in how well hajime and akane know her in ways gundham doesnt. akane will get nekomaru back in her life. but he will never be the person she goes to with the things she goes to hajime with.

this isnt necessarily entirely negative, of course. relationships are always going to be different with different people because theyre. yknow. different people. but i think theres going to be a period of time, maybe even the rest of their lives, where the ten sleepers in the vault will understand, intrinsically, that the relationship the five survivors has is never going to be fully understood, and will always be special and different from what they all have as a group.

hajime, fuyuhiko, kazuichi, akane, and sonia all faced arguably the hardest parts of the healing process, the stumbling blindly with no hand to hold except the others with an equal lack of sight, together, and that. does things. to a relationship.

they will all manage the healing process, and they will all struggle through it. but never in the same way those five did.

#personal #meta #danganronpa #sdr2 #oh boy the first proper tagged original post from this blog and its SURVIVORS RELATIONSHIP META #i have. so many thoughts regarding the process of waking the others. the habits the five of them form in the meantime.#the methods they use. alter ego’s return and dynamic with them. who they wake first and how they all feel about it #i think they all know. even akane. that waking someone up is going to change things. maybe not even in a good way too #its going to make things COMPLICATED.#and they all feel a certain type of way about tjat #but its not like they can just. not do it. this is what theyve been working so hard for the entire time.#so theyre going to wake people up. but that doesnt mean they wont feel. a variety of different ways about it.#anxious. nervous. scared even. angry maybe. bitter? jealous in an odd sort of way? out of place.#anyway

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toffeacademia · 1 year

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Just a little rant on Llorumi

I feel like the controversy and arguments on llorumi have died down now (or maybe i'm just a social recluse who knows) but anyways, though people say that the ship is problematic and toxic and abusive etc., i truly think that the two of them as characters have incredible compelling parallels.

As Harumi said, they are truly "kindred spirits" because both are essentially two sides of the same coin. Let me explain:

Both have experienced a loss of parent(s) - Harumi her parents and Lloyd his father (who's been a more active parental figure in his life compared to Misako let's be real).

Both know how it feels to be abandoned, though this one is complicated one - from what I gather, Harumi feels as she was abandoned by her heroes, because they failed to save her parents (I'll go through this in further detail below) while Lloyd was left in a boarding school by his mother.

Both have been thrust into high standard titles and thus, hold lots of responsibilty on their shoulders. - Lloyd being the Green Ninja and Harumi becoming Princess of Ninjago.

However, the one thing that sets them apart is the way that they percieve these life experiences.

For example, Lloyd grieved that he had to banish his own father and he felt his father's absence for a few seasons but he moved on in a way, yet he still loved his father, up until, well, you know. Harumi on the other hand, while she did grieve, she was overcome with the rage of "betrayal" and she held onto this rage, leading her to desire revenge. Lloyd could've taken the same route as well, he could've exact revenge on Chen, since it was Chen's war that lead to Garmadon deciding to sacrifice himself.

Crystalized and March of Oni does a great job of conveying Lloyd's anger, because while both of them hold onto their anger for a while, Lloyd doesn't lash out and ressurect one of Ninjago's most well known villains in an attempt to "save" the city. While obviously everyone has different opinions on Lloyd's arc in Crystalized, it makes sense that Lloyd's anger is what they decide to put focus on. Dude's literally having to work with his technically-evil dad, and has to fight his ex-gf again and kind of relive certain bits of trauma. On top of that, he has to tap into a darker side of his heritage, while trying to prevent himself from becoming his father (his overall fear). I'll rant about Crystalized in another post.

Anyways, returning back to topic, the dynamic and parallels between the two of them is what makes their scene in Game of Masks (Harumi's reveal episode) so compelling and thrilling, not just because Lloyd is going through the worst kind of heartbreak (my poor boi :(( ) but also because on a deeper level, these two are the literal representation of like calls to like.

Yes I made a Shadow and Bone reference in a Ninjago post - fight me.

Another example is the fact that both found a home of some sorts, yet while Lloyd found a family that built and raised him to be a hero, Harumi was taken into a family that has strict and heavy traditions, and its obvious from the way that Harumi doesn't consider the Emperor and Empress her parents that she hates them, so she is raised under a negative perspective and thus, turns to her revenge plans as a sort of method to treat her grief and pain.

However, it isnt healthy for either of them in their current stages of character development (post-Crystalized) to be in a romantic relationship. Harumi's short "redemption" isnt enough for them to canonically be in a relationship. Both need immense therapy and they have to confront their issues if either even want to be in a relationship together. If writers plan on putting them together, I would hope that they first confront the issues and history these two have, and then slowly build their relationship.

Or even, they don't need a relationship to heal. All I ask is that writers give them both the healing they deserve.

But that doesnt mean that people should be attacked for shipping them. A ship is just a ship, canon or not.

Still, I admire the parallels in the writing of both their backstories and the fact that both have a certain "love" for Garmadon (in my opinion, Harumi has an obsession but that's a discussion for another time).

It is quite funny though, that their sort of relationship is a kind of lovers to enemies to...allies? Honestly idk, but I love that the Ninjago writers gave us these kinds of parallels in characters. But these two greenies are not the only ones! The amount I could write on parallels in Ninjago...oof.

(Also, I'm not tagging this as a ship post, but idm if anyone reblogs this as the ship).

#ninjago #ninjago lloyd #ninjago harumi #lloyd ninjago #ninjago rants #idk why i felt the need to write this today #but here u go anyways

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hail-briar · 1 year

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wait in stormbringer didnt chuuya kinda stop corruption before dazai even touched him.

i should really fully read the novels before saying shit but like when verlaine first opened the gate and immediately closing it, chuuya was suffering and he was just affecting the gravitational field after the black holes have vanished. then at the end where he defeats verlaine and he comes down all fallen angel like. the lab might have also had measures to nullify it seeing as the kid with amplification powers that 'died' in a black hole was implied to be chuuya. i also want to put in dead apple where chuuya was just chill for a bit in the sphere before he punched dazai. he also keeps nearly or is just complete out cold after corruption so yeah.

so what im getting is that after the destruction and rampage stop and all the black holes have vanished, theres like a few moments of relative peace where someone has to haul ass and immediately get to chuuya before he completely dies.

dazai may not entirely be needed to stop corruption. he might be the fastest but not the only thing.

its also kinda weird that it kinda says that the suffering stopped when dazai touched him but as far as i know chuuya cant heal or regenerate but whatever.

not me just wanting a fic where chuuya has to use corruption in a mission after dazais defection and then having one of his subordinates or smt injecting him with an aneasthetic. chuuya still suffering until they get him to a doctor but atleast hes not controlling gravity in his sleep. he wakes up after his coma all hooked up to machines and then kinda wishes dazai were there to ease the pain, thats the only thing his ex-partner was good for but he knew he was never coming back, not for him.

then mori just keeps sending him on increasingly dangerous missions since he knew he could have chuuya constantly use corruption now. its always a last resort since chuuya can handle himself really well, he wasnt made an executive for nothing.

but the fact that when he is forced to use it, that he can complete the mission by shedding his humanity, that he has to trust someone to be fast enough to bring him back from the brink and that if they fail and he dies that it would be of no consequence to the boss, that he might still so disposable after everything... chuuya doesnt let it affect him much, its for the good of yokohama after all. (it does, it affects him so much he just keeps repressing it).

early morning ramblings that dont make sense that somehow turned into writing a fic in the middle of it, i can already see how dumb it sounds and looks like im repeating what we all already know. someone smarter explain this to me please.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #bsd stormbringer #soukoku #skk #also if anyone knows a fic like this please tell me #delete later

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luffythinker · 9 months

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IM CRYING, IM GLAD YOUR OPEN TO MY SHIKANARU CAUSE EVERYBODY I TRY AND TALK TO ABOUT THIS SHIP DOESNT CARE I actually am making a story i just got to get it all together. IMA SHARE IT WITH YOU WHEN I GOT IT TOGETHER it's really just me changing some events in the story and making it where Naruto and Shikamaru end up together. My plans are to have Naruto end up with Shikamaru, I love Sai/Sakura but Ino loves Sakura and i don't understand the Ino/Sai i'm still watching the anime it's just i never finished my run so i started reading the manga back to the part im at and im at ep 145 of shippuden i think? I'm not allowing myself to finish watching it until my story is caught up to where i am. Back to what i was saying I'm thinking of making it Ino/Sakura/Sai but it's more of "This is my girlfriend Sakura and her boyfriend Sai" my reasoning for this is when Ino witnessed Sasuke pull that guys arms out the socket as a kid it traumatized her, made her scared of him and Sai apparently looks like Sasuke, they were saying he looked like Sasuke a little bit in the anime if i remember correctly. it just creeps her out. I don't think Ino really ever liked Sasuke she just liked him cause that's what was cool when she was a kid so the whole rivalry with Sakura was just built on that idea. I was rewatching some scenes and i think, ok i gotta back track a little bit. I headcanon Ino's famliy is the most chill with same-sex stuff, so like if their daughter was gay they wouldn't mind. Ino puts this thinking in Sakura's head but Sakura's not as understanding as a kid and thinking it's weird cause different households (Not saying her parents were homophobic, it's just never been brought up to her before) Ino finally realizes she's in love with Sakura after she comes to her rescue when he hair gets cut that's the whole of what i wanted to say. So from that point on Ino likes Sakura, Sakura still has her feelings for Sasuke and Naruto's crush on Sakura has gone. I noticed he still asked her on dates but ultimately before and after Sasuke leaves it really hits Naruto that Sakura holds something special to Sasuke. Tsunade even notices it when she watches him leave the room to give them a moment after she heals him, Naruto walks out the room and says he wants her to look at Lee but his body language said "Oh im not needed here" and his feelings looked a little hurt. Another thing Neji developing a crush on Shikamaru before and during the timeskip because those two are the smartest in the group meaning they must work together alot even if they weren't in the same squad, Chunin Neji and Chunin Shikamaru being paired up alot is something i look at with shining eyes. But Neji, he notices Shikamaru's crush on Naruto so backs off, this leads him to back to Lee cause i'm a huge Neji/Lee shipper as well. Now, i've been reading this fic i'll include it here (Love Is A Battlefield by MadamZenobia on AO3) my endgame ships are

Shikamaru/Naruto

Ino/Sakura/Sai

Sasuke/Suigetsu

Kiba/Shino

Lee/Neji

As for Hinata i'm not throwing her away, just changing her motifs a little i guess? She has a crush on Naruto yes, after him being away for so long she has time to work on herself and find herself more. She does like him but it isn't what's going to make her happy. It isn't because i don't like Naruto/Hinata it's cute it's alright but it doesn't make sense even if i haven't seen the movies or episodes that show it. I feel like Hinata needs to do some self reflecting. Naruto is a huge inspiration to her, she's watched him train, become who he is but those two with a family together isn't something i can see happening even if it canonly happened, when i first got into this i didn't see it coming. So in my story Hinata is happy living her best life being single, watching her friends be happy together has brought her so much peace, even watching Naruto be happy with Shikamaru. (I wanna plan a talk she has with Shikamaru about his crush on Naruto and them discussing their feelings about Naruto so Shikamaru doesn't feel like he just took Naruto from her since from his point of view it looks like she liked him first but Shikamaru's had a crush on Naruto since he meet him, Shikamaru met Naruto first. ) I also have an idea of Hinata just wanting to be a single mother in Boruto, and Naruto/Shikamaru adopting and teaching a orphan both their Jutsu's turbsdfuvbhrsu IT'LL BE SO CUTE

i'm not finished with my story im writing but i can give you my fic i'm rewriting, the original version it's Shikamaru and Naruto what a troublesome love story by ZerosWaifu (I don't have a tumblr im using my friend's account they said it's fine so don't worry )

THIS ONE IS SO LONG IM SORRY

I'm so glad you're into shikanaru as well, I have never really found someone to talk to about them!! Please do share your story when it's done, I would love to read it <3

I feel pretty neutral about Sai/Ino, not because I think they are madly in love or anything but in Boruto I like the dynamic I saw of them, plus inojin is my favorite kid so I'm biased here… But I'm also super down for a Sai/Sakura/Ino, with mostly Sakura being the bridge between them!!!

For me, Ino would be a lesbian who had to deal with a lot of compulsory heterosexuality, so she forced herself to have a crush on Sasuke when they were kids because that's just what girls are supposed to do, but after a small breakdown after a fight with sakura she talks to her parents and surprisingly it's them that tell her that she might have a crush on her and they tell her that it's okay if she feels that way and that there is nothing wrong with her.

I think it's pretty accurate that Sakura would be a little reluctant to accept that, but eventually, she does understand that she's bisexual and things become a little easier for her to figure out what she wants and who she wants to be! [Discovering non-monogamy/polyamory is a whole other can of worms so I'm not gonna get into that here unless you want me to!!]

I'M SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP NEJI AND SHIKAMARU. Okay I know they're not your main pairing but a few years ago I read a fic of them that to this day has a place in my brain, I will leave linked it here if you're interested

But yes, for our shikanaru endgame purpose, Neji is very perceptive so he kind of always knew he never really had a chance here, he backs off, and eventually, his feelings for someone else grow which is how we get to neji/lee!!

Also thank you for the fic rec, I'll try to give it a read soon <3 Sasuke and suigetsu is such an interesting ship, I never got into them fully but their dynamic is so fun!

I like your take on Hinata, for me, i ship her with Kiba, he was so in love with her it's crazy, I don't know if you noticed the signs but they would have so much potential, honestly a throuple with shino would work too. But I also really like your take on her talking it out with shikamaru and realizing that her feelings for Naruto lean more toward admiration than actual romantic love, would love for her to have a happy life, would also really adore seeing her become the head of the Hyuuga clan and start making the changes Naruto promised Neji he would do it (and he never actually did it)!!

I think that's all i have for today?? do hmu whenever you want cause i'm super happy to explore more about naruto <33

#shikanaru #naruto #shikamaru #hinata #sasuke #sakura #ino #sai yamanaka #inosai #sakuino #sakuinosai #naruto rarepair #nejilee #kibahina #rei replies

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woolywoofs · 2 years

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I wanted to post a little update. And ask for a little help, again (paypal posted below, please dont feel pressured! you and your needs come first always).

Moppa and I are still grieving Skvetta, but we are managing now. She can be left alone now without panicking and she no longer searched for her in the yard.

I had my tonsils taken out last friday, on my birthday lol. Surgery itself went well, but beforehand did not. My IV infiltrated and all of the meds to calm me down and put me to sleep just went into my soft tissue. It was extremely painful and I started to have a panic attack on the table because of it + the oxygen mask makes me feel like im suffocating (i know it doesnt make sense haha). All hands on deck after that and I had 3 people on me at once sticking me trying to get IVs in me but my veins just kept breaking. It was actual hell and felt like forever.

Recovery has been a hot mess honestly. The first 3 days were fine and since then its been reaaal bad. The ear, throat and tongue pain is unreal. I am drugged out of my mind because pain/stress is a huge seizure trigger for me, but at this point it is not really working. I did have 1 bad seizure, to a point where i had broken capillaries in my face. But thankfully it didnt create any issues with my surgery recovery. Im hoping things will start improving soon.

Generally my epilepsy has fucked up a lot. My short term memory is messed up and I have lost some skill sets after the bad seizures. I have been re-learning how to draw and paint! It is a very tedious process but i really feel like im making progress.

My autoimmune disease has been lowkey out of control and I saw my rheumo and I am going back on a low dose chemo drug. It really did help last time, it just made me so sick. But we will be looking into every option to control my nausea etc! So im trying to be hopeful. Ill start once im completely healed from my tonsillectomy, since the meds make you more likely to get infections and slows healing.

My uterus has also been absolutely fucked, once again. We were really hoping that removing the mass, scraping my uterus and putting the IUD would stop the bleeding, and it did, for 6 months. But im having issues again and I saw a specialist and we decided that the only option left for me is a hysterectomy. There is a year long wait though. This wasnt exactly on my list of things to do at 27.. but i suppose it is what it is.

Now for some good. Moppa is healthy and happy. She was attacked by a dog in september and got a bad gash but shes completely healed! She loves the fenced yard. We have been working on nosework stuff when im feeling okay enough for it! She is honestly such a light in the dark and I love her.

I get to renew my lease next year so i dont have to worry about housing!! Rent will be increasing bc inflation but im okay with swapping some meals with ramen to make things work, when I cant make extra money. I have been learning how to quilt!! My grandma does it a lot and i asked her to teach me so I am working on a project with her.

While things are generally a hot mess right now, i am mostly okay. And i feel like thats a big improvement for me, im not sure I would have handled all this a year ago. And im proud of myself.

With everything going on, I have obviously been unable to do commissions, or taking in dogsitting clients or anything i typically do to make money. If anyone is able to help, it is really appreciated. *This is my PayPal*, im afraid its my only way to receive anything. *any* amount helps. I really hope this is the last time i ever have to ask for anything. I feel like things are going to turn around now that we have solid plans to help with my health issues. The hope is that once my uterus is out and the low dose chemo has gotten my overall pain under control, that my epilepsy will chill out. It seems to be easily triggered via pain and hormones.

Thanks to anyone who had the patience to read this thing. I just havent posted an update in so long that there was a lot to say 😅 i am going to start being more active on here as ai really miss it. I will include the 2 art pieces I managed to make and finish. It took forever to figure everything out but im proud of myself. Quality may be a little destroyed bc tumblr likes to do that... i really hope i can offer commissions again soon. I might choose a person or two at random that donates and do a ghost commission like below for them? I can at least try. But youd have to message me on here after donating so i know who you are, i think i can attempt dog, cat or rabbit. But i cant promise anything.

I talked forever, im so sorry lol. Here is the paypal again because its definitely lost up there in the babble

Just to end this.. Has anyone here had a tonsillectomy as an adult and can tell me at what point it got better?

#personal babble #lord sorry for going off forever #my art

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fauslayer · 2 years

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I'm gonna say it, Faust

LETS GO BABY LOVE DA FAUMT

– Overall opinion of them

faust is my dear sweet guy. my srumple. my blorbus. whatever of those words you want to use but not in the fandom sense. he is deeply important to me and infinitely fascinating. he is kind and he is weird and he is your friend.

– Gender/sexuality headcanons

no matter what the sexuality part is i think A. he is nonbinary (i have proof of this or whatever) and B. he likes men

– Favorite moment in canon

this entire scene. the whole thing.

his voice cracking on the last part of that first screenshot, brought to tears while i-no lays in silence on the ground. does he let himself cry because he feels alone? because he is resolute? idk. there is a sense of himself healing in this scene for me. i like scenes where hes talking about being a doctor in a way that doesnt have the usual undertones of "im a doctor and thats all i am an anything else is a fluke", where he recognizes himself as a person with a lot of love to give.

also, the scene in the strive another story where ramlethal shuts down his plan to sacrifice himself for delilah by finally getting it through to him that hes precious cargo too; he is also a life to be saved, and him subsequently letting go of the him that bundled such resentment against himself for so many years. square one <3

– Favorite moment in a fanwork

GO HERE AND READ SPAGHETTIS FICS NOWWWWWWWWWW

if you want specific requests for faust stuff:

primum non nocere is a excellent dive into fausts perception of the parts of himself and it makes me cry like a little baby bitch i love you faumt most importantly i love you spag IM GOING TO FUCKING GET YOU!!!!!!!

trains in the depot is gorgeous post-ST another story calm. fuaaaa...

a doctor, a politician, and a cowboy walk into a desert... is perfect slapstick and perfect character piecing. i love goldlewis. i love goldlewis.

polyester coffin is part of the faust autism agenda, alongside being a wonderfully moody piece that cuts to the bone of his character and ends with loving catharsis towards his future.

i think i need to stop myself here bc im realizing now that im just going down the list essentially and that would be 27 recommendations so you should just click the link i gave you if youre reading this and GOD FUCK I DIDNT EVEN GET TO TALK ABOUT THE BEDMAN FIC CHAPTER WITH HIM OR JUST ANOTHER DAY OR INTO THE VOID OR HELPING HANDS GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO G

– Favorite line, in canon or otherwise

the "forgive me, i seem to have lost control" bit from xrd, as well as "lying is bad for your body, you know?" delivered in that certain lilt from the sign post-credits sequence between him and chronus. there are so many other lines that make me roll around and shout so this is just the ones i can think of but pweh pweh pweh pweh

– Characters I love seeing them interact with

SLAYER is the big one. from their interactions starting in x2 to their deeply personal (for fausts standards, especially) implied relationship (friendship or further) in xrd just really fucking gets to me. someone on the internet put it best with "Slayer is one of the few people capable of grabbing him by the arm, looking him in the eyes, and saying in a stern, yet caring voice, ’no. You are staying here. Rest.’ And it was a power he was happy to abuse."

other than that, his interactions with fanny in petit are INCREDIBLY fun (she doesnt like him but i totally think they could start an actual friendship in the future once shes done despairing), and of course ZAPPA my MEGASCRUNKLE i LOVE whenever they get to be in the same room.

his interactions with baiken, testament, and potemkin also make me weh cry i love guilty gear

– Last thing before sleeping headcanons

i think as of strive hes trying to be a little more gentle with himself before sleep. actually nestling down his stuff and tucking himself in and everything. I do not think he did that before. i think he slept on the ground and felt bad about anything else unless it was his rinky dink clinic that got burnt down in ggx.

– Sleeping habits headcanons

pre strive: doesnt sleep a lot, usually only out of exhaustion. wants to fall asleep as FAST as he can (fainting is good for this) because he doesnt like being alone w/his thoughts before it happens. nightmares flare up randomly but are better around xx.

post strive: likes big, fluffy nonsense and is getting better at admitting this to himself. loves soft and silky textures so at the very least hes buying a nice blanket to carry around. trying to follow his own sleep advice, but does often find himself lacking still. sleeping habits are just things that are hard to fix.

all the time: man sleeps like an Embryo. his back is so unbelievably fucked up from everything, whether it be his build or his posture, and his sleep is definitely a big wedge. hes as stiff as a rock when he sleeps.

– First thing after waking up headcanons

pre strive: guy who hypes himself up by saying "keep going bitch!" in different accents in the mirror and one day its gonna work. basically just gets dressed, sorts his supplies and gets on his way for another exciting day of Earth

post strive: gets himself a little more leg room, maybe some actual breakfast. its easier to sleep and be comfortable in a bed when you are in a nice place and/or have sleeping clothes and dont wear your dress pants and shirt to bed (xrd).

all the time: he has comical striped old man pajamas with the bauble hat and everything but they only seem to be on when its funny for him to have them. hes an enigma. guy who sleeps in boxers and a big shirt when applicable tho.

– Favorite locations headcanon

faust loves the world AND the people in it, but in my head i always think of him with like. a specific attraction to festivals. maybe its like. this old fanart i saw of him just towering over a traditional festival ground and having all the lights reflecting on him, but i think those kinds of energetic spaces would both compliment his silliness and also give him an opportunity for stillness, in that he can let the world around him keep spinning and laughing and for once, simply bask in it. that kinda stuff.

thank you dearly for the question! i cat kiss gif you

#guilty gear #long post #faust #asks

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notsuch · 2 years

Text

Anyway it makes perfect sense for Junker Queen to go through the effort of makeup, piercings, and personal presentation grooming, the same way Howl wears golden grills, Junkrat as clearly ornamented his bombs and Roadhog has tattoos.

When life is violence and pain, people by a large seek out beauty and ornamentation. Junkers are clearly no longer just a bunch of army vets sitting around desperate, they're a stabilising society. Maybe it's just barely, maybe it's on the edge of burning rubble of their suffering, maybe the rest of the world wishes they would fade away and forget. But they are. Theyre in fact clearly three generations deep now. That means families, communities, trade connections, development of group presentation to identify themselves. It follows the same rules as any other group of humans. Ornamentation is one of the first things we learn to do from the time we are hunters in the PALAEOLITHIC. The more we live hand in hand with violence, the more we seek it out. When the world will not be kind, we seek that kindness for ourselves, to ourselves, but also as a statement to the rest of the world.

Junkers both have to show their strength physically like a lions mane to ward off the threats of each other, raiders, scavs and whatever the fuck a feral omnic is, and having enough excess to decorate oneself tends to speak to skill and ability to procure it. It's politic as much as its self healing. Its far more direct and immediate, but it's the businessmans rolex. In fact I'd argue it matters more to them to wear and do these things than a millionaire cares about his Rolls Royce. Especially for a person who is about to take the throne. They are a community, and maybe its fucked to hell and back, but they have an identity and they are expressing with what they have available to them.

It's just probably a war crime or something, since they all wear omnic dead body parts.

Odessa isn't smart, dont get me wrong, I don't think she's aware that she's part of a new emerging cultural group, but she's cunning. She's ruthlessly cunning. Motherfucker was thrown into the desert with her family and out of 5-6 kids, was the ONLY one to walk out again that we have seen so far. Then she fought her way through the scrapyard for what was clearly a decent length of time, whilst keeping her mouth shut long enough to get that place fighting Howl. She then spent 50% of that fight doing knife diplomacy so hard with clear and obvious intentions that she needed too, and appealed in words and actions to Meri and Geiger to stage the shortest and most efficient coup you've ever seen Howl didn't even realise it until way too late. It might be the slow watch and predation of a crocodile under the water waiting to take the bite, but she is watching and learning.

And defining that she'll be a strong and commanding Queen who knows how to present herself? Yeah. She's probably looked at how other people do it that to get respect and command and went THAT LOOKS COOL, THEY LOOK TOUGH, ILL DO THAT. Because we do all care what our leaders look like, and she'd want to put her best foot forward. Especially when that foot is walking a tight rope of people now trying to challenge, fight and kill her constantly to get the throne themselves. Appearing put together and displaying like that? Already is taking care of 20% of those fights before they even started.

Also PSA from an Aussie to all non Aussies: it's physically impossible to make us wear shirts. We hate it. I know you're like BUT WHY DOESNT SHE HAVE A WHOLE SHIRT. because no one does. Literally no one. Restaurants in hot areas have to desperately put up signs that say YOU GOTTA HAVE A SHIRT AND SHOES ON. The most accurate thing about Roadhog, Junkrat and Junker Queen is that they only have one full outfit spread out between three people. The way everyone wears shorts and nothing else isn't a apocalypse omnic war crises shortage supply of clothes it's that we never had them to begin with.

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bees-tes-blog · 20 days

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is there any chance you could give a brief break down on your dragons dogma characters?? sincerely someone who’s never played but is intrigued by mati

to be completely honest I’m still figuring it out myself but I’d absolutely be happy to share what I have so far! in fact I might take the opportunity to get it all written down before I forget anything

my arisen, jesse (the one with the red hair), is currently a weird combination of the arisen’s canon background/traits + some of my own traits. the first character I make in an rpg tends to just be a vessel through which I do whatever I want but I’m trying to move him away from being Literally Me.

to recap, he was an orphan taken in by the village chief and raised as his own. he cares for his village very much—enough to take up arms against the attacking dragon without second thought. as a young man jesse’s not quite as outgoing as he was in his childhood, but he’s still motivated to protect the people he loves more than anything, though he tends to toe the line between brave and foolish.

mati is jesse’s main pawn—a support mage. I’m very fascinated by the idea of pawns as an extension of an arisen’s subconscious and how that presents itself in their creation (ex. how the arisen savan’s pawn looked like his dead father, who he was seeking revenge for), so I’ve been thinking a lot about what might’ve been on jesse’s mind when he first summoned mati. him being a healing mage is definitely at least partly influenced by jesse’s childhood friend, quina, who is a talented healer and knows him better than anyone. I think more than anything, far from his home and about to start down an unknown path (and as much as he wanted to believe he was strong enough to go it alone) what jesse desperately needed was a friend, and that’s what he got. idk yet where mati’s appearance came from!

mati is cautious and level-headed—two things his master is not. he does his best to keep jesse out of trouble, but sometimes the man sets his heart on something and just cannot be stopped. even so, mati is ever-faithful and always at his arisen's side ready to heal his wounds.

I think jesse feels kinda weird about commanding pawns. despite being the adopted son of the chief, he's never quite seen himself as leader material and doesn't like to issue orders. he treats his main pawn more as a friend and equal, and is loathe to let mati put himself in harm's way for his own sake. mati, being a pawn and Number One Following Rules Fan, isn't entirely sure what to do with this, particularly at first. he still calls jesse "master" most of the time as a polite gesture and is conflicted when he has to make choices for himself. over time though I think jesse rubs off on him and he learns to be a little more bold.

I think that's all I've got...feel free to ask if anything doesnt make sense—I'm not sure how much you know about the game, from my own ramblings or otherwise ^^' thank you for the ask!

#buzz #trying to fit my own ideas into the framework the game kinda already lays out for your characters is proving to be an interesting challenge #ykw i might as well start oc tags for them at this point #oc: jesse #oc: mati #bees ocs #ask #old-skulls

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winderlylandchime · 8 months

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1/2We are at 4x02. He took a 30 minute break to call his ‘girls’ and came back with a ton of gossip. I am now wondering what kind of life he lives back home ngl. ‘Hit play! Lets get this party on the road!’ *starts dancing along to the intro* ‘oh i really fuck with this intro. Itd be better with more Brian and Justin but I’m willing to settle’ ‘SHANDA IS ALIVE! Oh poor baby, you will heal. And i will burn the world down to find those fuckers. Justin being friends with a drag queen makes sense…no offense Justin but that sandwich looks sad as fuck’ ‘THEYRE GOING TO THE FAIRY THING?! I WANNA GO TO!..what center? Is it that gay and lesbian center that supported that homophobe that covered up a gay mans murder? Because if so benny…it will happen again unfortunately.’ (I looked away for two seconds and he grabbed my face and squished it and turned it to the tv* LOOK AT BRIAN AND JUSTIN! Oh shit Brian is turning down jobs. So he’s not going solo? OH WAIT HE IS. Hell yeah THE BEYONCÉ OF THE GROUP!’ The fairy thing is happening ‘….i dont know what i imagined this would be but boy, was i wrong. *looks at me* what would my fairy name be?’ ‘Of course he immediately went to a sex shop. I feel so bad for him but we all gotta start somewhere. He’s gonna hate this though because of the whole noble thing’ ‘OH TED IS FINISHING REHAB! HELL YEAH BABE! You did it and im so happy for you. I love Blake, please dont let this be the last time i see him’ ‘ITS THE FEMALE BLONDIE! She IS SECRET AGENT! She wants to help Brian HAHA I KNEW I LIKED HER! *looks in amazement at Brian* Damn, he really looks good. YEAH BRIAN STEAL THE CLIENTS AND THE ASSISTANT. Okay this will sound weird but I really like his hair. He looks good poor.’ ‘Is the Team Brian shirt my fairy outfit? I need to figure out my name. They did Emmett dirty, he would’ve come up with a way better outfit. DUMPLING? I like it’ The center scene is up and it just showed Cody, please note this is the moment I officially start dying inside ‘HEY! My mom told me you cant whistle indoors cause its bad luck! Who’s he? I DONT LIKE THAT THEY KEEP SHOWING JUSTIN. This better not be this seasons Ethan. I dont like him. Get rid of him. Justin stop being impressed by stupidity..so his plan is to become the attacker?’ ‘Brian being a little shit to Ted.. feels like old times. (Brian does that up/cup thing) *starts pointing to the tv* UP! UP! I KNOW THAT!’ That scene with Ben and Hunter in the gym is on ‘Brian looking out for Hunter. What did i say about my uncle nephew duo?! I hope the boring doesnt rub off on Hunter’ ‘high alone in the woods dressed like a fairy? Emmett might be living my new fantasy. Of course the only friend he finds is some random old dude’ ‘ugh Bald Ad dude, go fuck yourself. BRIAN! go do your thing! Oh shit, thats fucking insane. DAMN BRIAN. I love that he knows the first ad is shit. I like this version of Brian, i fuck with this’ ‘Shanda baby, come on. (Justin says chicken is for lunch) damn. Him telling people off is kinda cool. HEY! Justin was a baby! He was a child! ITS FUCKED UP TO EXPECT HIM TO DO ANYTHING! He was a BABY!’ ‘BLAKEY! I really need him to be happy and healthy forever. I’m so happy for him’ and now the britin scene where Justin is drawing is on ‘Blondie, are you okay? his hand hurt- aw Brian to the rescue. Why does everyone keep forgetting that Brian was also at prom? This whole couple thingy they got going on this season, is *he makes a fist and smacks his chest twice and does like a pouty face(?)* making me emotional. HEY JUSTIN YOU WERENT A COWARD YOU WERE A CHILD! 18! Nobody expects an 18 year old to save the world’ Brian tells Justin how to get even ‘now that is a good advice. Im starting to realize that every advice he has, has something to do with education. Aw Brian is upset because his blondie is upset. SEE?! A COUPLE!’

I am so intrigued by your brother's life back home.

And yes, Justin being friends with a drag queen. I know we don't want to spoil anything about this for Brother but at some point you must tell him that Randy watches drag race.

The Fairy Gathering is real! My friend Jack went and has a fairy name and everything.

Your brother is right! Justin was a baby! He didn't owe anything to anyone after nearly being killed.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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higheldertala · 2 years

Text

the power of the doctor commentary

a wise man once said ‘it could have been a lot better, it could have been slightly better written’

where was the qurunx being transported to? and why via train? oh well im sure it doesn’t matter.

‘the cybermen have a blocking fielding in action’ i mean i would presume you reason you can’t land is because they train is moving very fast?? but sure why not add in some pointless exposition.

why is the qurunx in a box/ cage? is it a prisoner? what are these people’s relationship to the qurunx?

dan’s train driver announcement is very cute.

what was the doctor’s plan for the cyber masters? just to say ‘stop right there!’ and they would say ‘ah sorry my bad’ and just stop?

‘i have reinforcements’ where? and also they still have weapons and regenerating healing powers, i don’t think you have the high ground here.

also the fact that both the master and the cyber masters escaped gallifrey meaning it was blown up and ko sharmus died for nothing, oops.

ch*bnall said this episode had the longest cold open in doctor who and it’s only 6:50, eve of dalek has a cold open of over 9 minutes so this like isn’t true.

why do sophie and janet have to share a title card?? we know this title sequence can accommodate for 5 people as seen in revolution of the daleks.

i am very curious to know how tegan and ace met but i guess that’s not important.

tegan’s line about not seeing the doctor is relevant but ace’s reply of of ‘alright show off just cos it’s only three decades for me’ is completely irrelevant??? literally just exposition. a brick to the face would be more subtle than chris ch*bnall’s dialogue.

also why would that be showing off??? she’s had to wait longer the doctor? this makes no sense.

also the doll thing is a bit weird, like did the master know that tegan would conveniently end up at unit? like she’s not working for them, they say she’s freelance. and it’s ace’s suggestion ‘they go in’ to which i presume she’s talking about unit. did the master know all this would happen? that tegan would call ace about it and then she would suggest they go into unit? you know never mind.

so they’ve in the middle of investigating a kidnapped child and dan was all like ‘but me date!’ dan’s priorities is getting laid first 😂

have we ever had a companion leave 10 minutes into the story? it’s so weird. why didn’t he leave at the end of legend of the sea devils? what was the point of dan as a companion at all?? because we needed to fill the quota of straight white men on the tardis??

dan story’s is so depressing. like it was partly the doctor’s fault that dan’s house got shrunk because she was chasing karvanista and she’s doesnt do anything to help or rectify this. like the doctor gives donna a lottery ticket and amy and rory a house and car for no reason other than wanting to provide for them, but nah fuck dan you can stay homeless. remember the ch*bnall era is about hope and friendship!

we’ve never had a doctor so mardy about companions leaving, which is so strange because it’s not like she has any emotional attachment to any of them. make it make sense.

‘not one for goodbyes’ don’t we fucking know it!! we just don’t them anymore in the ch*bnall era.

also even eleven ‘doesn’t like endings’ still said goodbye to amy (and rory) (think of end of the god complex).

‘a dalek invades my tardis with a message offering to destroy its own species’ JUST IN CASE YOU DIDNT UNDERSTAND IT THE FIRST TIME ROUND. yeah ch*bnall i got it the first time you didn’t need the doctor to repeat it immediately, how fucking dumb does he think his audience is. condescending ch*bnall dialogue i will NOT miss you.

‘that’s a new one’. it literally isn’t, have you seen doctor who chris i feel like i shouldn’t have to ask this.

i hate the close up shots, will not miss them. so glad to have rachel talalay back who knows what they’ve doing.

the doctor doesn’t tell yaz about the dalek because…?

i’m pretty sure that if there was a ‘second moon/ planet’ orbiting in earth’s atmosphere, that would severely fuck up earth’s gravitational pull?? that’s like basic science no??

i honestly believe they didn’t need to give sacha blue contacts… smells like whitewashing to me. like even if rasputin had blue eyes, this is fiction, literally no narrative reason for this.

don’t understand the point of the rasputin/ russia plotline. literally just tells the royals to fuck off so the master can have the place to themselves… like what?? this specific time setting has no bearing on the plot, we could anywhere and anytime and it literally just wouldn’t change the plot in any way shape or form, it’s so frustrating when so many parts of the story are just pointless!!

i am glad they have brought up the master’s hypnosis and im glad they said the thing (although i would have preferred sacha to say it because he has said he wanted to) but this is never brought up again!! what! is! the! point?!

this era insists on making the master’s tardis look ugly 😭 im so sorry baby.

‘your master awaits doctor. doctor what does it mean by that?’ are we all just fucking stupid or something? like aside from it’s fucking obvious, the doctor literally just reminded us that the cyber masters were created by the master like a minute ago.

in the trailer i said these were dalek shots, oh well i’ll take that L.

why didn’t you close the fucking tardis door when the cyberman were shooting?!?!?!

have you any idea what’s going on in outer space in 1916 right now? strangely enough no’ lol this was great.

‘new freelancers, don’t be cross’ that’s the only heads up you’re going to give her?

omg who knew it would be so easy to see the doctor again that all ace and tegan had to do was go to unit and say ‘hey can you call up the doctor’ and they would be like ‘yeah sure of course we can’.

i don’t know why only tegan gets to off with the doctor, as ace has plenty of reason too but sure whatever.

yaz’s awkwardness is so great for this scene. honestly a perfect reaction to meeting past companions.

(i mean i still find it weird the retconning of a 2 year old book where 13 and yaz already meet ace but okay. i feel so bad for sophie 😔. and also they just miss out any of the emotional depth or moment with ace and 13 and yaz but who needs emotional beats in a ch*bnall story).

would tegan like to bring up the russian doll cyberman to the doctor? no okay…

also the fact that one of the first things the doctor does after reuniting with ace and tegan, both of whom have somewhat misgrudges with them, is to non consensually put a hologram ai into their bodies is fucking wild!! why couldn’t she tell them she was doing that? OR ASK???

i love all of mandip’s facial expressions at ace and tegan in this scene, it’s just a shame the script never follows up on it. points to mandip for trying, chris ch*bnall sure isn’t.

would love to listen to full lecture with sacha’s voice 😏

‘now do i win a prize if i guess how this all fits together or are you just going to tell me why you’re grandstanding’ i really like the playfulness of this interaction, sort of goes back to how this is all a game for the master and the doctor, but it’s like dropped immediately so… okay.

‘you killed all these people for what?’ im sorry it’s hard to take yaz seriously because she hardly ever takes command in front of the doctor and she’s barely interacted with the master.

‘i know, a bit of a conversation stopper awkward right yaz?’ this line is so unnecessary, is it suppose to be funny…? okay boomer. thank god this is the only cringe line they give sacha this episode.

‘i hope i’m going to unit’ this is like bright flashing lights ‘this is a trap’. no one questions how easy it is to capture the master?? of course because our characters are fucking stupid!!

they don’t even takes the master’s tce off him?? and like he must have it on him, he shrunk the seismologists.

‘give her a gun’ this makes no sense and is like literally never followed up on, not even a chekhov’s gun but whatever i guess.

‘clear up the tiny bodies and inform the loved ones for me would you?’ this was so camp i loved it.

‘you’re not going to shoot me, not in her tardis’ where was the ‘state of temporal grace’ reference?

i wish they had leaned more into the master playing mind games with the companions angle but i guess that would require the companions to be actual in depth characters so :/

why do we mention the cyberium when it literally never gets followed up on??

‘unit will keep you under armed guarded’ yeah because that’s always worked hasn’t it doctor??

vinder is now also here for… reasons. idk maybe jacob was still under contract who can say??

and vinder is investigating the missing qurunx because…?

why is vinder monologuing everything the audience already knows? what’s the point?

‘anyone want to join me? bunk up in the bunker?’ i would 😏

‘your dad was an idiot’ out of all the jibes from the master this is the most random one, ch*bnall couldn’t come up with anything better?

‘you’ll all feel safe then with me in the building’ im sorry but again he is literally telling you this is a trap, i… im done.

‘you’re not staying doctor, you’re not gonna leave them alone are you?’ this is a great line/ jibe about the doctor abandoning their companions. shame it’s literally never followed up on!

‘professor where are you going? she really doesn’t want us back in there’ why is the doctor being such a twat to ace and tegan, i mean she’s like to this to everyone so i guess it’s in character. doesn’t me i understand any of it though.

‘darling’ giggling, twirling my hair, kicking my legs etc.

‘doctor stop for a second, i can’t keep doing this you, running from one place to the next never explaining’ oh look an actual valid reasoning for leaving! yaz realising the doctor is not gonna change or open up and is unhappy with being treated this way! shame this is never brought up again!

‘sorry no time’ aka shut the fuck up yaz, how dare you question me and want agency in your own actions.

‘sorry i am really staticky today’ why is she lying about this!??? i don’t understand!! i’m banging my head against the wall.

‘has it never occurred to you that it could be a trap? of course it has’… that’s why im going in without any back up plan whatsoever! why is the doctor so happy with meeting the dalek on its terms, rather than like neutral ground? you know what never mind.

how are they not boiling alive inside a volcano?? you know what never mind.

‘no they’re already there, seismology, volcanoes, daleks and the master, no this is not good news’ why does she say this all out loud??

‘i really thought i’d seen the last of him’ weird line for ace seeing as she only met him once (onscreen) and didn’t even interact with him that much???

‘knowing what you would do with it, you’d keep it so close to you because you have nothing else’ i don’t really see how this matches up with tegan’s character, tell me if i’m missing something here, why would she care about not having memorabilia from travelling with the doctor.

the cloned ashad is completely pointless why is he here???

also how does ace know about the hidden compartments in the floor? she’s doesn’t work for unit she’s freelance. either kate gave them a very thorough run down of the building or she’s been here before?

at least unit tables can withstand cyberman weaponary that’s convenient i guess.

and the master hid this teleport when…? also is this suppose to be the tce?? im very confused. you know what i’ve got to stop asking questions.

i presume this master then goes onto the pretend to be rasputin?? or he is jumping between 1916 and 2022?? this isn’t clear, like with the painting and such.

‘i can do this i can do this’ i would understand the panicking and reassuring the self if this was a like a first season companion, but not like a third season companion.

‘why am i talking to you?’ does yaz not know the tardis is telepathic/ sentient?? like if she can fly the tardis surely she would know? and she’s seen the doctor talk to tardis before.

‘got to dress for the occasion’ tv movie stans represent ✌️

‘forced regeneration’ ah lads not again.

is the doctor suppose to be this passive here, i don’t feel like she really resists?? she doesn’t struggle, she doesn’t try to escape, she doesn’t try to reason with the master, she barely speaks, she just sits there?? does she not care? does she just accept death? ‘ah fuck it just kill me i’ve had enough of this shite’.

i can’t tell how much i love ‘the master’s dalek plan’ line, it’s not even that funny but i just find it hilarious.

the boney m rasputin scene is great because its like the only scene that doesn’t take itself seriously and doctor who is missing this (good) cheesy campiness.

i wish they had done a straight up body swap that would have been so fun… oh well 😔

‘i still need a companion to ask and bask in my brilliance’ i would be your companion 😏

also funny that marketing for this era refuses to call them companions and instead ‘the doctor’s friends’ when they still use the term in show so like what was the point? lol.

‘i stashed some of my stuff in here early’ because of course you did.

‘i am the doctor and you will obey me’ nice 😏

‘change back. can’t be done’ unless you force me back into the machine and put a lot of regen energy into it 👍

‘while i tarnish the name of the doctor, im going to make the doctor a byword for fear, pain, and destruction so when people hear that name in future they quake in fear’ this was already a thing in the m*ffat era??? with 11 in a good man goes to war. honestly i straight up believe ch*bnall didn’t watch the m*ffat era.

yaz really just stood there whilst the master got changed i… okay.

these two planets at war and the master claiming to be the doctor and have done this, is like so inconsequential to plot like what’s the point?? i am suppose to care about these two unnamed planets full of unknown species??

‘no one to stop me now’ unless someone like points a gun at me then that’ll definitely stop me.

wow yaz actually does something! well done!

also how quickly the plot of the master!doctor (however we are catergorising this) is like dropped is like so frustrating cos again what! is! the point! what’s the point if we don’t see the consequences of this.

‘guardians of the edge’ you just made that up ,this actually isn’t a dig, i’m completely fine with this as a concept i like it. i think this is the best way to include past doctors without having the doctors physically in the story.

‘i have been working on this literally forever’ that’s why this literally the first time we’ve heard about.

‘under the gravest of circumstances like if i’m no longer around’ so is this like personal grave circumstances like if they’re in distress or in a literal sense in that the doctor isn’t around. I’m thinking about this too hard, it’s literally a plot convient device because we need the doctor her because god fucking forbid anyone else is given a chance to save the day.

‘you could have told us you’d done that’ yeah but then you might actually have some agency in your character yaz and we can’t have that.

also the way that this is never presented as a learning moment for the doctor… like wow what a great message about consent for children(!)

‘whoa the emotional receptors on the ai are a bit oversensitive. apparently you’re annoyed with me? apparently i should apologise for something?’ you mean putting body modifications into your friends’ bodies without their consent that something doctor? and then getting mad when someone dares tries to question you? 13th doctor i hate you. literally! villian! behaviour!

at this point i would advocate for yaz to straight up punch her in the face.

the fact the literally no other nuwho companion would ever put up being treated with way.

‘only one chance i’ve seen it in extreme circumstances, it’s incredibly dangerous, anything could happen’ like it honestly just makes sense for this to be the reason why fourteen looks like ten, that it’s a result of the forced degeneration, like idk if russell will follow up on this or if the cause of fourteen is the toymaker, we’ll have to wait and see.

also curious to know what the dangerous part of this was? i’m guessing that it could not work properly and the doctor could die? i don’t know they never specific.

this whole exposition dump of what tegan has been up to is so weird, when did we ask for your life story tegan?

i don’t understand why she would need to specify her son is adopted?? is that what she calls him to his face ‘adopted son’? you would just say son, no??? wtf??? it’s so unnatural to speak like this. ch*bnall doesn’t understand that people don’t speak in the exposition dumps.

like the whole speech could have been reduced to something along the line of ‘don’t worry i can handle myself’ or just the air hostess joke i guess. never mind there’s more chance of pigs flying than ch*bnall ever writing a second draft for his scripts.

‘i used to be good with heights’ sorry to be a fake fan but what is in this reference to? i can’t remember.

where does the parachute go? it literally disappears out of the shot in the tardis.

ace doesn’t ask where the doctor is??? …okay.

does the master really just assume yaz hasn’t been up to anything or planning something whilst she went off??? …okay.

‘you think you left and i never thought of you again, i never forget any of you, i remember everything.’ wow ch*bnall how to actually write the doctor. i wish there had been literally any more emotional moments in the ch*bnall era.

‘what am i thinking seeing all these cybermen? adric’ 😢

‘i missed you. missed you too, now please don’t get killed’ this scene between five and tegan is perfect, i wish literally any of the ch*bnall era had been done with this level of writing!!!

and we go straight back to typical ch*bnall! why the fuck does ace have to apologise?? wtf?? yeah because the doctor is in never in wrong (!) fuck off 😡😡😡 i hate this so much!!

‘i didn’t understand the burden you carried’ because ace was sixteen years old!! what the fuck is this line i…

what was graham gonna do about all the daleks???

‘i’m ace’ turns around to show the back of her jacket which has ace sewn on the back ‘yes you are’ this was very funny.

you know the last time kate faced the cybermen she threw a dismembered cyber head at them, now she’s quaking behind a table… okay.

do the cybermen and daleks know that their plans clash??? or are they all just very stupid?

tegan falling down that how many foot long shaft without getting scratch, now that’s what i call plot armour.

‘i think they make much better companions than you’ so fucking true bestie!!

jo martin my beloved

‘If you’re a friend of the doctor’s you aren’t going to use that’ i mean the master is aware of jack and like all of unit, so he does know that this isn’t a concrete rule with the doctor’s friends, but yknow we wouldn’t have a story unless everyone was fucking stupid.

do i think saying ‘not my doctor’ to a brown man is distasteful… yes.

when does yaz get given the sonic???

also im not even gonna ask how any of this logistically works.

like i would have accepted ‘reverse the polarity’ into explaining how they can do this. like literally the one time i want them to say reverse the polarity and they don’t!!

they just leave the master there!!! why?? he is going to escape you idiots!!

‘we used to be friends him and me’ she brings this up because...?

the complete whiplash of this doctor never knowing what’s going on to miraculously knowing how to solve everything and save the day in an instant (this thought process is never shown on screen).

the building collapses around them, they stand 5ft away from it and there’s not a single scratch on them… okay.

‘she’s still not explaining anything then?’ like it seems chibnall is self-aware of this but then never develops so like… what?

‘i’ll never understand it’ me talking about chris ch*bnall’s writing.

i don’t understand what the damage to the master’s body is suppose to be??? like the doctor is one who’s body have been through the most trauma this episode.

like i’m pretty sure yaz isn’t the only person to care enough about the doctor to run out to her, it’s just insulting to other companions imo.

wow yaz is buff as hell to be able to carry an unconscious doctor.

i don’t know this regeneration is so meaningless and so tacked on. like the doctor doesn’t sacrifice themselves to save the life of others, she just gets shot by big space laser because *checks notes* we need to regenerate by the end of the episode. like as with all ch*bnall writing there’s no emotional weight to any of it.

and i still think it should be the force regeneration that causes the inevitable regeneration that just makes a lot more sense to me. and then it would also be an actual consequence of the story and not just tacked on for the sake of it.

literally no goodbyes!! again!! i hate it here 😠

the cloister bells aren’t suppose to ring when the doctor is regenerating?? it’s for end of the world situations.

im sorry when the doctor says ‘i want more time’ it just sounds like a tantrum, like it comes across as so infantilising. like this isn’t anything like the ‘i could do so much more’ speech. idk sorry to compare.

‘i don’t want this to end’ that’s why i’m going to leave immediately as soon as you ask.

‘a wise person once said to me goodbyes only hurt because what came before was so special’ sorry to be a fake fan again, who said this???

i know the ‘no one else got to live our days’ is the second doctor, is it all from second doctor??

‘i think i need to do this next bit alone’ …but why???

not even a hug… oof.

‘how is she? how was she?’ don’t ask how yaz is feeling then.

JO! MEL! QUEENIES!!

big W for william russell.

‘are you okay? is she okay?’ why is yaz never allowed to talk about her own emotions!!! she is such a passive character it hurts!! why do we ever only care about the doctor.

like i think i’m in the minority but i don’t like the thirteen’s ‘tag you’re it’ line. like it’s really childish and just continues to infantilising this doctor. why does the female doctor have to be treated like a child all the time it’s really fucking weird and never sits well me.

final thoughts: so this post is long enough so i’ll try not to repeat myself too much. mixed reaction. i feel like the anniversary ep clashes with the regen episode. while i like the anniversary part of this ep, i loved the references and the fan service feel good and natural and not forced, so points for that. although the regen side of the ep let’s it down. there’s little emotional build up to the actual regen, lack of emotional moments period. having a good story means having good characters and good emotional depth and ch*bnall severely suffers on these fronts. because of any lack of emotional depth, the characters just seem to exist moving from set piece to set piece without any satisfying emotional journeys. i find it very annoying that tegan and ace (aside from their convos with their respective doctors) don’t really get any reconciliation with 13 and so i ask what’s the point. their inclusion in this story is not to progress their character’s stories and arcs, rather they simply exist for obligatory anniversary cameo which whilst is nice, is shallow and lacking substance. whilst yaz is actually active this story in saving the doctor, she is of course helped by the doctor, who is doing all the brain work, and so takes away from yaz who still appears like a sidekick. also yaz’s exit is the most passive companion exit i’ve ever seen, did ch*bnall forget to write this, who knows?? i don’t understand yaz’s exit at all and i’m sure i’m not the only one. sacha dhawan is great as always and this is his best performance so far! his dialogue is significantly better this episode too which is great. i love his earlier scenes in the lecture theatre (i know it’s not a lecture theatre i don’t know how else to describe it) and going into unit, i think he plays the camp perfectly. i only wished we’d (a.) had a proper body swap between the master and the doctor, dhawan!doctor my beloved or b.)) had much more focus on the master’s plan especially the emotional depth to it, it’s gets very convoluted very quickly. the master!doctor seemingly has very little consequences and is undone very quickly for my liking. i also hated how passive the doctor seemed this episode, she barely reacts to the force regen situation and doesn’t even try to fight again it???? anyway i feel like i’ve talk a lot now, thanks for reading if you made this far!

#yeah this is a long one lads #dw salt commentary #dw commentary #<<< making a new tag to compile all my commentaries

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