#it effects me rlly bad. i’m trying not to let it mess me up but it’s hard

[motheyes]

man things have been crazy

[cyberfreaky]

CELLOPHANE ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART III

༘⋆ PAIRING — olo’eyktan!jake x fem!reader

༘⋆ SUMMARY — in which your taboo infatuation with your olo’eyktan begins to cause problems.

༘⋆ WARNINGS — age gap (32 & 22), mentions of daddy issues, power imbalance, no comfort angst, infidelity, mild violence, alcohol usage, arguing, eventual smut.

༘⋆ NOTES — i’m sorry this took so long my writers blocks has been so bad. pls forgive me love u. swoaseyn = kava bowl. i couldn’t find what they use for alcohol on pandora, so i jus implemented something from my own culture lmao i was shocked to find out there was a word in na’vi for kava bowl so i jus ran w/ it 😭 it’s basically like a drug made from the roots or stump of a kava shrub. & typically prepared in like a rlly gross drink. for me, it sorta gives the same effect as being drunk so ?? reader is a crying drunken mess in this xx s/o to the girlies who breakdown whenever they drink !!!

MASTERLIST + CELLOPHANE MASTERLIST

previous — next

you’d been mulling over that brief interaction with jake, already missing the gentleness of his hand on your cheek. ‘sweet’. he thought you were sweet. it was more than just being seen as ‘nice’ or ‘friendly’ — he meant more to his words. that simple word played on replay inside your mind throughout the entire day.

it influenced your entire attitude. your whole look on things between yourself and jake. it seemed like you didn’t have to try that hard to find ways to impress him - maybe he was already smitten. that little possibility was just enough to encourage your decisions for the celebration, including the attire you chose to wear.

“you’re looking hot.” ky’ana commented as she sauntered into your hut, her inquisitive eyes glancing up and down your body with a sly grin.

“or should i say ‘sweet’? would that be a better description?”

you rolled your eyes at ky'ana's mockery, smiling a little to yourself as you reminisced about what’d happened in the morning. “very funny.” you say sarcastically.

ky’ana had watched the entire ordeal unfold in front of her as she collected the fruits. the way jake caressed your cheek, sucking off the juice of the berry residue from his thumb. she knew all too well what his intentions were, which explained why she’d stepped away to continue with her tasks. if anyone had seen the way jake had grown to act around you - it was ky’ana. jake wasn’t as subtle as he believed he was.

you were finishing up the final details of your attire. your top was beaded, reflecting beautifully with amethyst and magenta tones. the thin top cascaded over your chest, barely covering the peaks of your breasts. your tewng was dangerously short, almost leaving nothing to the imagination with how slender the veil was. it was an annual celebration for the clan - you weren't the only person who'd be dressed in such a manner. but that didn't stop you from making subtle adjustments to show yourself off just a little more.

you'd woven flower petals into your dark braids, the pop of colour amidst your hair made you resemble royalty in a way. you definitely had dressed yourself up to impress, it was clear as day.

“getting all pretty for a certain someone?” ky’ana teased, standing behind you as she gave your ass a playful slap. she’d been relentless with her taunts ever since this morning, and truthfully - you didn’t mind it. you relished in the memory of it, and you wanted to be reminded of it constantly. to relive that memory until the end of time.

“maybe.” you glance over at your best friend, nibbling on your bottom lip to suppress your smile.

ky’ana could only laugh in response, linking her slender arm with yours as she lead you towards the camp grounds. “let’s go have some fun.”

the festival was in full effect. the clan celebrated loudly. a plentiful amount of music, cheer and dancing surrounded you and ky’ana as you both walked into the village. you were transfixed from the beauty of your people, how the liveliness of the illuminating forest and beaconing moonlight shone upon them. it was certainly a sight to see. after the gruelling months that your people had experienced during their ambushes - seeing them in a state of pure merriment and euphoria warmed your heart.

your hopeful eyes drifted across the lively festival, desperate to spot out jake amongst the crowd. the boisterous sounds of the festival had turned into white noise, your gaze immediately falling on him from across the blazing bonfire. sparks of excitement jolted through your body as your tail began to swish behind you, flicking up in the air as if you’d been given a treat.

jake was far too busy with his family to even recognise you. him and neytiri were holding little tuk on their shoulders together, providing their youngest daughter with the perfect view of the clan’s celebration. a sudden wave of jealousy washed over you like a tidal wave - it came crashing down hard as you watched just how joyful they were. you began to feel ridiculous for how ecstatic you’d been to see jake, for him to see you in such a tantalising outfit. maybe you’d done it again - mistaking his kindness for something more.

ky’ana took notice of your reaction, her gaze following yours and screwing up her face up at the scene. she nudged your side, giving you a weary smile as she tried to distract you from your dismay.

“c’mon, let’s get something to eat.” ky’ana insisted, giving you no choice but to go with her as she dragged you along.

you reluctantly looked away from jake in the distance, your lips forming a slight pout while you followed besides ky’ana. your disappointment would have been unjustified in everyone’s eyes except your best friend’s - she was truly the only person who could understand.

the both of you reached the supper area, an abundance of food displayed across the carved table. you picked up a piece of roasted teylu, sheepishly biting into the grub with a small frown. you couldn’t stop yourself from turning back around and glancing over at jake once again - stupidly punishing yourself by watching him. he was so happy. why would you try and ruin that? jake’s entire world was his family, his mate. you had no right to feel so envious about it.

“hey.” ky’ana says to you, tilting her head to side as she gauged your solemn expression. her delicate fingers graced your cheek, turning your head and forcing you to look into her narrowed eyes. “do not get hung up on that. we are having fun tonight, alright?”

“i feel stupid.” you mumble quietly, glancing down at the attire you’d carefully curated just for jake’s attention. you just wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

ky’ana shook her head, stepping away for a brief moment before returning with a small, wooden bowl. she brought it up to her lips, taking a long sip of the murky liquid. her body jerked in reaction, her pupils dilating slightly just from the taste alone. “this will help.” she handed you the bowl with a mischievous smile. “drink up. all of it.”

you reluctantly raise the bowl to your mouth, your nose scrunching up as you inhaled the alcoholic scent. ky’ana only pestered you to drink it as she noticed your hesitation. you gave her an uneasy glance before sighing defeatedly, taking a long, deep breath in. with one swift motion, you downed the remaining of the drink.

you shriek in disgust, immediately gagging at the foul taste. it was too late to spit it out, you’d already swallowed the entirety of the bowl. you jumped up and down in your spot, fighting off the urge to dry heave across the village grounds. “that was disgusting! what was that?”

ky’ana cackled loudly at your reaction, taking the bowl from your hands with an amused grin. “don’t worry about what it is. the taste will be worth it…twenty minutes from now.”

“that wasn’t…no.” your eyes widen at the realisation of what ky’ana had made you drink. you look at the object in her hands, realising it wasn’t an average bowl. she was holding a kava bowl - a swoaseyn. “ky’ana! oh, eywa. i’m going to die tonight. i’m going to fucking die.”

you begin to freak out as you anxiously look around the village, feeling as though the camp was spinning around you. the paranoia was affecting your ability to focus, rather than the drink itself. you’d never experienced consuming kava, and you wouldn’t have expected that tonight would be the time. realistically, it hadn’t even entered your system yet. the fear of being in some drug-induced panic was causing this sudden outburst.

“it’ll be fine, trust me.” ky’ana placed two hands on your shoulders, levelling her calm eyes with your teary ones. she assuringly squeezed you, giving you a feeble shake to persuade you to relax. “i will be with you all night. i won’t leave your side at all, don’t worry. this is going to be an incredible night.”

you were panting relentlessly, nodding your head almost manically at this point. it took you a few moments of deep breaths and internal affirmations to eventually calm your nerves. “o-okay…i trust you.”

“good.” ky’ana smiled, taking your hand in hers and gently urging you towards the festival. “let’s dance.”

the two of you rushed over to the crowd, joining in the dances amongst the clan. you were stiff and awkward, which was to be expected on you after your little freak out. you watched intently as your people swayed expertly, moving in perfect motion with one another as the loud music boomed inside your ears. their slender bodies were pressed against each other’s, every movement and direction moved exactly in tandem with the banging drums.

the dances were much more provocative than you’d expected, unlike the typical festival traditions that had been more modest in movement. flickers of orange, blue and purple painted the faces of the crowd. the foreign scent of sweat and arousal shot through your senses, making your muscles tense slightly. it was like everyone was moving in slow motion, brushing against yours and ky’ana’s bodies as they dripped with sensuality. you began to grow mildly excited as you watched with hazed eyes, trying to mimic the dancing on your own. though failing, as per usual.

ky’ana encouraged you to follow her lead, standing in front of you with a wide smile. she held your soft hips, directing you to gently move yourself from side to side. the dance seemed difficult at first, as if you were a child taking their first steps. you held onto her shoulders for balance, trying to instruct yourself to follow the rhythm of the lively sounds that blasted tumultuously.

“just relax.” ky’ana soothes your nervousness, feeling how tense you were through the very tips of her fingers.

“shut up, i’m trying.” you argue with a frown, simply earning an inaudible chuckle from her.

with enough practice and instruction from ky’ana, you eventually found your rhythm. your hips swayed heavenly in motion with the music, perfectly matching the movement’s of the clan. this was a miraculous moment for you - considering you usually danced as if you had two, left feet. you laughed wildly as your frail arms reached into the air, allowing the effects of the steamy dancing and bitter kava to envelope your body entirely.

ky’ana was right. this did help you forget a little. enough to distract you from the fact that jake’s gaze would soon fall upon you from across the crowd.

jake and neytiri were situated upon a perched, timber structure that resembled a stage, sat upon two makeshift thrones. this provided them with the perfect view of the exuberant celebration. they watched as their children ran unruly amongst the village grounds, enjoying the festivities with the other kids in the clan. it was truly a beautiful sight to see, the both of them grinning widely with intertwined hands.

“beautiful, hm?” neytiri says to jake while she looks upon the clan, smiling contently to herself as she soaks in the atmosphere.

jake nodded in agreement, giving neytiri’s hand a little squeeze. “one for the books, that’s for sure.” he chuckled with a dopey smile.

despite being mated with jake for as long as they had - neytiri still found his phrases quite confusing. across the years, she’d grown to find them more endearing than anything. even though she had no clue what jake was talking about half the time - she’d simply brush it off as sky people nonsense.

“yes. one for the books.” neytiri repeated jake’s words, laughing softly alongside him as their gazes drifted back over to the festival.

jake’s eyes darted across the crowd, his interest peaking as he watched how the clan danced with one another. it was certainly tantalising, almost lewd. he found his head slowly bopping on beat with the music, tapping his foot gently against the wood as he smiled flippantly to himself. these celebrations were always a joy to spectate, considering he wasn’t the greatest dancer. jake had tried many times to try and teach himself how to move like the na’vi, but to no avail. though, he didn’t mind - it was more fun to observe.

as jake quietly basked in the bustle of the festival, it didn’t take too long before you quickly snatched his attention. his mouth fell agape at the sight of you.

it was like a spotlight had shone upon you as his stare fixated completely on your movements. you were almost mesmerising in a way, each gyrate and gentle sway of your lustrous hips entranced jake. he could only see you. the detail you’d put into your outfit was noticed immediately by jake - and he could see it despite being so distanced from you. the pretty flowers in your hair, that little tewng - every. single. detail.

you were so carefree and beautiful, moving in such a way it could hypnotise a man. you’d never been so vivacious, and it didn’t seem like you even knew how truly alluring you were. how could you be so unknowingly bewitching?

no. i shouldn’t be looking.

a surge of guilt spread throughout jake as he found himself practically drooling. he shouldn’t be looking at you in such a way - he was mated. and happily so. it only made matters worse that he was holding his wife’s hand, all while his predatory stare was glued to someone else. and not just any woman. it was you.

“that girl is nothing but trouble.” neytiri suddenly comments, snapping jake out of his trance. he blinked profusely, shifting a little in his seat as his eyes darted over to his mate. he feared that he’d been caught staring at you - and the nerves bubbled inside him rapidly.

“what? what girl?”

neytiri gestured towards ky’ana, shaking her head at the girl in the crowd. “she is always causing problems.”

jake almost let out a sigh of relief once he realised neytiri wasn’t talking about you. while he questioned his mate’s judgement of ky’ana, he was just happy she hadn’t taken notice of his burning stare. “n-nah, she’s a good kid. little rough around the edges, is all.”

“she is a bad influence, look at what she has done to her friend.” neytiri scoffs at you in the crowd, almost taking pity on you - believing you were somehow a victim of ky’ana’s behaviour. “ma’jake, ky’ana gave her kava. i witnessed it with my own eyes.”

“what’s so bad about that? they’re just havin’ some fun. it’s a celebration, ain’t it?” jake tried to reason with neytiri, chortling lightly in hopes of lightening her mood. he was struck with confusion at her sudden disdain towards ky’ana, considering she’d never spoken about it with him.

“you know how her friend is. she is reserved, and quiet. and now she is dancing like some sort of sex symbol.”

jake feigned curiosity, using neytiri’s response as an excuse to look at you once again. she wasn’t wrong, you were dancing a little more amorously than the clan was at this point. it seemed that the kava had given you some sort of surge of confidence, and now you were in a state of pure ecstasy. in fact, your movements were so slow and sensual - it was clear you were no longer in a stable state of mind.

“yeah, i guess.” jake coughed awkwardly, tearing his eyes away from your body to look back at neytiri. “c’mon, don’t get so strung up on it. it’s harmless fun, nothin’ more to it.”

“i suppose.” neytiri mutters, leaning back into her seat as her fierce glare remains on ky’ana. though, it soon turns to an exasperated expression. “now look.”

jake gave neytiri an odd glance, looking back over at the crowd once again. his gaze instinctively falls on you as per usual, his eyes widening at the sight. in just a matter of moments, you’d managed to go from a lively, dancing joy to an emotional wreck in ky’ana’s arms. were you seriously this much of a lightweight? he felt bad for chuckling a little, but it wasn’t with malicious intent. he simply hadn’t expected you to react this way to kava, it was supposed to relax you. it appeared that you were the exception to the rule.

neytiri nudged jake’s arm, motioning for him to do something to help. “go and check on her.”

“huh? oh, uh. yeah, sure.” jake quickly rose from his seat, trying to suppress the excitement that was building within him.

“shh, it’s alright.” ky’ana tried to console you, rubbing your back gently as you began to suddenly cry in her arms. truthfully, this was bound to happen. she knew you better than anyone else - and this was your first time experiencing a kava high. being the sensitive person you were, ky’ana expected this reaction, and she was fully prepared for what was to happen.

“i ju..just want someone to love me.” you sobbed onto ky’ana’s shoulder, dampening her warm skin with your tears. your speech was slurred and languid, leaving your mouth through drawn out cries. “i want j..jake, i can’t live w-without him.”

ky’ana lead you away from the crowd, keeping you firmly embraced you in a comforting hug. she couldn’t have anyone hearing what you were saying, knowing that you basically zero filter at this point. she didn’t want to risk you slipping up about your interest in jake. “c’mon, you’re being silly now. he’s just a guy, you’ll survive without him.” she laughed playfully at your dramatics.

you continued to cry drunkenly in ky’ana’s arms, your words coming out as nothing but incoherent gibberish. “ky’ana, you don’t get it. jake’s my. my love life. he is the love life..love my life. i want him s..so bad.”

your best friend could only chuckle in response, cooing quietly in your ear as she continued to console you. “i know, i know. he’s the love of your life, i get it.” she giggled into your ear, her soft hands running up and down your spine.

you’d lasted exactly an hour and a half before this breakdown came around. for you, that was rather impressive. for ky’ana, it was nice to see you let loose; even if it were for only a short amount of time. you were always so hung up on jake, jake, jake. and while she supported you no matter what - she knew that this little situation you had with him was doing you no good. at least not lately. you were so boy-crazy over jake that you’d started to lose your own identity in the midst of it.

“hey, there’s plenty of guys in the clan who’d kill to be with you.” ky’ana says with a smile, hoping her words would assure you just a little.

though, this had the opposite effect on you, and your sobs just worsened. “i don’t want anyone else! i-i want jake, h..he’s my, he’s the one i want.”

ky'ana simply allowed you to vent all your sadness to her, keeping you close to her as she rocked your body back and forth. you were so grateful for your best friend, she truly loved you. she had so much patience to deal with you and your annoying crush - but she wouldn't have it any other way.

after minutes of sulking, you felt ky'ana begin to tense up, her arms growing stiff around you as she suddenly stopped laughing. you were too busy babbling about jake to even question her reaction, and your confusion only heightened as she instructed you to be quiet. in your dazed state, you lifted your face from her shoulder and furrowed your eyes at her. you couldn't even muster up a proper response, opting to just whine stupidly as you tried to pry away from her.

"i’m being serious, shut up. jake’s coming." she warned in a hushed whisper, keeping her grip firmly around your shoulders.

all you heard was ‘jake’, and you instantly felt your heart flutter. you swivelled around while ky’ana kept you locked in her embrace, a lazy smile curling on your lips as tears continued to fall down your face. this was the first time jake had approached you during the festival, and in your mind - all you could think was he’d finally see your pretty outfit.

jake strode over to you and ky’ana with concerned visage, being careful with his choice of words in fear of making the situation worse. he wore bashful smile as he tried to gauge your reaction to his presence, but it was quite challenging considering you were smiling at him while bawling your eyes out.

“everything alright?” jake asks cautiously, more so speaking to ky’ana than you.

she nodded assuringly, trying to sway jake’s concerns in hopes of him leaving them alone. in your inebriated state, she couldn’t risk the possibility of you drunkenly admitting your feelings for him. “yeah, we’re good, sir. she, uh..she’s just tired.”

her lie was so bad, it almost made jake cackle in response. “tired, huh?” he’d croon with a lighthearted chortle, eyeing down your stumbling frame in ky’ana’s grasp. “y’know, i wasn’t born yesterday.”

“it’s, uh..”

ky’ana was cut off by your muddled words. “hiii.” you waved at jake, giggling deliriously as you stared at him with hazed, admiring eyes.

“hey, hon.” jake returned the gesture, giving you a small wave. his smile grew wider, almost smitten by how cheery your voice was. “you feelin’ alright?”

“m’feeling great, jake.” you held two thumbs up, still in a fit of drunken giggles. “i am just..just fantastic.”

a sense of warmth rose in jake as you answered his question, seeing you in such an inebriated state wasn’t a sight he thought he’d witness tonight. jake found it equal parts amusing and gushing, he’d be more than willing to listen to your drunken rambling all night long. was this thought innocent in nature? jake had no idea anymore. he couldn’t brush off the way he’d been watching you. but he kept that curiosity hidden deeply inside his mind - wrapped up in pure denial.

your back was pressing hard against ky’ana chest, making it blatantly obvious you were struggling to keep balanced. your friend was putting in her best efforts to support you, though her weaker arms were struggling to clutch your weight. ky’ana was trying to shield her discomfort with a forced smile, taking her leg and hooking it around your knee, hoping to straighten it. but each attempt was met with buckled knees, and your body slumping heavier in her hold.

jake was observing the entire ordeal, feeling awfully sympathetic towards ky’ana as she kept trying to help you. she clearly cared about you, and she’d spent the night thus far comforting you. jake wished neytiri could see her in this light.

“i could help ‘ya take her home.” jake suggests to ky’ana, his benevolent yet pitied gaze hinting he could tell how hard she was fighting to hold you upwards.

ky’ana was swift to protest against jake’s help, her demeanour shifting to a sudden apprehension. “i’m good, sir. i’ll get her back just fine.”

but after you stumbled once again and nearly caused ky’ana to topple over, it was clear jake wasn’t taking no for an answer. he stepped forward and swiftly scooped you up bridal style, your body going limp in his arms immediately. if you were sober, your mind would be going absolutely haywire. being cradled in jake’s brawny arms, flushed face pressed against the soft of his chest was all you wanted.

you wouldn’t even remember it the next day, and you were too intoxicated to appreciate it in the moment.

“i’ve got’cha, sweetheart. how’s about we get ‘ya home for some rest, hm?” jake cooed to you, pushing those tingling feelings blooming in his tummy. he tried to subside it with that typical, friendliness he usually possessed.

“mhm.” you nodded languidly.

ky’ana nervously stared at you in jake’s embrace, her insides churning at the thought of you stupidly saying something you shouldn’t. and at the rate you were going, that potential of her fear becoming a reality was a reality was much more than likely.

— TAGLIST (let me know if you want to be added!)

@wh0rezs @neteyamsb1tch @touchedflowers @sadredflower0000 @andraga12 @pureforestspirits @cillicnn @iameatingmyhair @555linaa @strawberry-vamp0 @bellstwd @taleiak @bunniparadise @the-mourning-moon @slutforjake @pxndorasdream @ilovebluedilfs @normsdaughter-alt @deepdarktower @mooniet @jakexneytiri @rengokusmyboy @manumanulau @pandora-vibes @stargirlrchive

[kuroos-moon]

‘Meet My Grlfriend’ Video

pairing: streamer!kenma x reader

request: scenario where timeskip!streamer!kenma does sort of a "meet my girlfriend" video 

You properly sat on the couch as if you were in a job interview, eyeing him nervously as he busies himself with setting up the camera. 

What if they don’t like me? And what if they judge Kenma for it? Invasive thoughts had been occupying your mind the whole time that you don’t notice him crouch down before you with him sitting on his heels. 

“They’ll love you,” the corner of his lips slightly tug up into a reassuring smile. 

“Yeah, I hope. It just kinda feels like I’m meeting your parents all over again,” you chuckle, refusing to let your nervousness show and give him a clue of what kinds of things you’ve been thinking. 

“Okay, I’ll start the stream now,” he mutters, tilting his head up to give you a chaste kiss before he stands up and makes his way to his computer. 

You run your sweaty palms across your jean-clothed thighs, taking note of your breathing as you give yourself your last-minute pep talk to boost your confidence. This was both your ideas anyway, but what really brought this on was the increasing amount of fans who asked what his relationship status was, which he replied to honestly and bluntly during one of his streams.

____

“Oh, my status?” He asks in surprise, his cat eyes momentarily looking at the comments of his stream to see that the population of his female fans begged him to be single, making him chuckle almost mockingly as if to say, ‘none of you all know anything.’

“I’m taken by the best woman there is.” 

___

“Hey, what’s up you guys, I’ve somewhat dragged my girlfriend into this since you all were so eager,” he casually says with a small grin; it’s as if they were really there and they were really friends. 

He looked so cute; sitting beside you relaxedly with his legs crossed on top of the cushion. For a moment you forgot that Kenma was initially socially awkward from the way he carried himself and spoke so naturally to his viewers.

You look towards the screen, seeing a variety of comments: some were compliments and some were as you expect— hateful. “Uh, hi,” you shyly say, your cheeks heating up as you suddenly felt far too self-conscious. Kenma faces you and lifts up his hand to the side of your face, his slender, delicate fingers tucking locks of your hair behind your ear. 

He may have done it for the fans to see— you’re quite unsure— however, that’s what he always did to calm you down when you cry or to help you relax when you can’t fall asleep; and just like then, it had the same effect now.

You can’t let Kenma down, you tell yourself. “I, as you all know, am Kenma’s girlfriend and I’m really thankful that you all wanted to meet me,” you smile and wave, chuckling a bit when you see the comments. 

‘you’re really pretty!!’

‘so kodzuken plays games all day and has a girl— god rlly has favorites.’

‘do you play games too?”

“Uh sure, I do play games,” you sheepishly smile as Kenma instantly snorts from beside you, his arm casually wrapping around your shoulders at the same time. “Hey!” You frown at his reaction and he apologizes while laughing. 

‘oml he’s laughing’

‘all I see are precious angels, they look too good together’

‘why’s he laughing at you y/n? lol share ur inside jokes’

“She plays alright,” Kenma sends you a teasing look which made you lightly elbow his stomach, earning you another chuckle from him, “she plays but she really, really, shouldn’t.” 

“Stop making fun of me,” you hiss. 

“She’s sooo bad at it, it’s like she’s aiming to lose,” Kenma grins, and you scoff, shrugging his arm off your shoulder as you turn your attention again to the comments. 

‘Kodzuken you’re just on a diff level dude, you’re too harsh’

‘well opposites do attract’

‘kenma im bad at games too, do I stand a chance?’ 

‘oh, so bad gamers are like… his type?’

‘how much does y/n suck in games?’

“Now look what you did,” you glare at him and he only smiles, snuggling closer to you just like a kitten. 

“Y’know I admit that I am a bit bad in games but I only ever played when I started dating this devil,” you try to get the fans to see you in a better light and not just as a girlfriend who sucks at her boyfriend’s forte. 

‘when did you guys start dating?’ 

“Five years ago,” you grin.

“Four years ago.” 

You both spoke at the same time and you turn to him immediately. “How could you forget that?” 

“But we did start dating only four years ago,” he blinks. Neither of you even want to turn to look at the comments because it was kind of awkward for you both to answer wrong on such a simple question. 

“I asked you out five years ago,” you raise a brow. Yet you immediately regret saying that out loud. 

‘wait so SHE asked him out?’

‘what’s wrong with girls asking out someone?’

‘was kenma forced or smthn lmao’ 

‘but y/n asking him out is cute>.<’ 

“Relax guys, I wasn’t forced… well at some point,” he laughs, making you shove a pillow at him.

Before you had the chance to say anything, he pulls you to his lap and wraps his arms around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Don’t lose your temper during a stream, bunny,” he whispers. 

“What happened was that y/n… had a crush on me, and I was significantly more awkward in high school than I am now so when she asked me out I freaked because of how close she was and said yes,” he laughs and you turn to him in surprise, “she was really pretty how could I register a word she was saying.” 

“Wait so… when you said you wanted to be my boyfriend and I said you are my boyfriend four years ago, that was the time you realized we were dating?” 

He nods. 

‘That’s some huge misunderstanding.’

‘don’t you guys like have anniversaries? How could u mess that up lol’

‘still your romance is straight out a shoujo manga’

‘y’all are too cute’

‘must protect’

‘keny/n: *exists* fans: *gently holds*’ 

“We don’t really celebrate anniversaries, we just kinda secretly keep count,” he mutters. 

“Yeah, and look what kind of misunderstanding that brought up,” you chuckle. 

‘hey kenma any plans on wifing her up?’ 

“hmm, I guess, yeah. Soon,” he casually says. 

You thought you were the only one flustered by what he had just said, but it clearly was not the case as seen by how he buried his face at the crook of your neck and hid from his viewers for five minutes straight. 

[seita]

— good girl | tetsurō kuroo (m.)

pairing: kuroo/reader

genre: smut

wordcount: 𝟷𝟺𝟺𝟼

cw: pure pwp, established relationship

tags: dom!kuroo, sadistic!kuroo, sir!kuroo, strong dom/sub dynamtic, subspace, dirty talk, blowjob, deepthroating, facefucking, pet  names, degradation/humiliation, praise kink,  dacryphilia, some aftercare

note: this is an kuroo au i like to call ‘sadistic sir kuroo’. he’s rlly mean lmao. thank you to my friend @atsushimi​ for her help in cultivating this kuroo!

— you’re determined to prove to your dom, kuroo, you’re a good girl who can suck his cock well.

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© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.

Kuroo looked down at where you were kneeling on the floor between his spread thighs. His jeans were unbuttoned with his cock out, his large hand wrapped around the thick length as he leisurely stroked himself. 

Precum dripped from the tip, down the shaft to meet his hand and he hummed. Your eyes followed it, subconsciously licking your lips at the phantom taste of him on your tongue. 

“What is it, kitten?” he purred, cocky smirk on his lips as he gave himself a generous squeeze, “You want something?”

“Wanna suck your cock,” you whimpered submissively, resting your cheek against his knee. 

He chuckled, brushing his hand through your hair, angling the tip of his cock towards you, “Go ahead then. Better make it good.”

You grinned joyously, taking the head of him into your mouth with a sigh. Your eyes fluttered back into your skull as you finally tasted him. You set a pace you knew he enjoyed, making sure to keep your hands away lest you be punished. 

He was being kind enough to let you suck his cock, giving you the privilege of sucking him off. You didn’t want to sully it by being bad.

You took as much as you could, a little more than half of his length. He sighed, head tipping back in pleasure as the head of his cock reached the back of your throat. You pulled away quickly to avoid gagging and suctioned your mouth around him, bobbing your head in a rhythm you knew he would appreciate. 

“Hm,” he looked down at you, one eye concealed by the mess of hair, a brow quirked, “I don’t think you’re doing good enough, kitty.”

You whined, the idea of him being left unsatisfied making your heart plummet. You worked even harder but his face didn’t change, in fact he began to look more and more disinterested. Suddenly you pulled off, licking your lips to chase the taste of him.

“U-Use my mouth how you want to, Sir,” you whispered. 

His eyes flashed, “Are you sure? Do you think you can take it, kitten? You know I like to get rough with that pretty throat of yours.”

“I-I can take it, I promise Sir!” you reassured, sealing your lips around his cock once more.

His hands weaved into your hair, fisting the soft locks for leverage. Instead of fucking into your mouth like you expected, he jerked your head forward, forcing the entirety of his length into your throat.

You choked, gagging around him in surprise. Your first instinct was to pull off but you forced yourself to relax. He wasn’t pulling his cock out, simply leaving your throat clenching and spasming around him. 

“Breathe through your nose,” he ordered, not letting up even as tears welled up in your eyes. He grinned, sadistic and dark, “You’re the one who said you could take it, kitty. You didn’t lie to me did you?”

You whimpered, unable to offer any other response. Finally, he pulled back so his cock was free of your throat. You didn’t get a second to recover, only managed to inhale properly before he was surging forward to repeat the action. 

“Fuuuuuuuck,” he groaned, head tossed back in pleasure. His length was throbbing, his thighs trembling in pleasure at the feeling of your throat. He was soaked with your spit, dripping down his length to his jeans, “You might even make me cum. What a good girl. I’m so proud of my little kitty, taking my cock like this.”

You keened under the praise despite the uncomfortable feeling of choking around him. He slowly began to move your head, fucking your face as if you were a toy for his cock. 

He pushed past your gag reflex roughly, taking you by surprise. Instinctively, you pulled away, dislodging his cock from your lips and effectively loosening his grip on your hair. You fell back onto the floor, panting and wiping your mouth of the copious amounts of drool you had spilt out. 

“I figured,” Kuroo scoffed, leaning back in his chair to wrap his hand around himself, “I should have known you couldn’t take my cock properly. You were just lying about being a good girl, isn’t that right?”

“N-no!” you cried, scrambling forward, placing your hands on his knees to steady yourself. Your knees ached but you ignored it in favor of looking up at him, eyes begging for mercy, “Y-You just surprised me, Sir! That’s all, I can take it!” you begged, growing desperate.

He sighed, a disappointed, put on sound that made your stomach tie up in knots. He wasn’t pleased, he was disappointed in you. You weren’t able to make him feel good properly. 

“I don’t think so, kitten,” he grumbled, stroking himself, using your spit as lube, “I might as well cum in my hand tonight since your mouth just isn’t good enough. What kind of good girl pulls away from Sir’s cock, hm?”

“Please let me try again!” you cried, tears pricking your eyes as your bottom lip wobbled. 

Kuroo held back a groan at the sight of your tears, his cock throbbing, “I don’t know, babygirl...you already disappointed me once. Maybe I should find a new little kitten who can swallow my cock properly.”

“No!” you cried, growing distressed as you wrapped your arms around his leg, nuzzling into his thigh, “You can’t! You’re mine! Please let me suck your cock again, I can do it!”

He hummed, still stroking his cock as you cried, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. You were so pretty like this, begging him for his love and attention. The fear in your voice at the thought of him finding someone else to service his cock. The possessiveness within you. 

You were so sweet. So perfect. 

He shook his head, “Since you seem so confident, I’ll let you try again. It’s your last chance though. If you fuck up again I’ll be cumming in my fist and you’ll get nothing.”

You whined at the threat of not tasting his cum. Sniffling, you sat up properly and opened your mouth, ready for him to sink his cock into you. 

He took the invitation eagerly, eagerly pulling your head back down on his cock. He sighed in pleasure at the hot, tightness of your throat wrapping around him again. Your throat was almost as good as your cunt. 

He controlled the pace, watching with sick satisfaction as you choked and gagged around him, tears falling down your cheeks pathetically. But you still powered through, letting him abuse your throat how he pleased. 

“There’s my good girl,” he groaned, hips twitching upwards as he grew closer to my release, “I knew you could do it, babygirl. Taking my cock like you’re supposed it. Choking and gagging on me like a little whore but still so desperate for more,” he licked his lips, grunting as you eagerly began to suction your mouth on him, sensing how close he was to his release, “Fuck, take it, bitch. Take my fat fucking cock in that slutty throat.”

He held your head still, head falling back with a loud groan as he came. His cock pulsed in his mouth in time to his orgasm, shooting his hot cum down your throat. You eagerly and dutifully swallowed, not daring to close your eyes as you took in the sight of him falling apart. His body trembled as he emptied his balls in your mouth. 

Finally, he came to and pulled you off of him. He gave you a lazy grin, watching you wipe your mouth and swallow a few times to make your throat feel better. Tucking himself back into his jeans, he watched you lean against his leg, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“My sweet girl,” he cooed, plucking you up from the floor to bring you into his arms. Pressing a kiss against your temple, he let you release your pent up tears on his shoulder, the whole scene an intense experience. He was there to stroke your back and shush your whimpers, “You’re such a good girl. Took it so well, I’m so proud of you.”

“You’re mine, right?” you whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

He cooed, pressing your forehead as he cupped your cheeks to look into your eyes, “I promise I don’t want anyone else but you. You’re my pretty little kitten, you’re all mine, yeah?”

“All yours,” you promise, leaning forward to tuck your head beneath his chin. He hummed, stroking your back and pressing little kisses every once in a while as you settled down. 

You really were such a good girl.

[closetedotaku01]

thank u for taking my request!!! it is: so where i work (a front desk job) guys come in who are rlly flirty n shit, usually its harmless, like last week some guy just walked by & gave me a note w his number & i havent stopped thinking abt how akaashi would react to that happening to his gf o_o but sometimes it gets...rlly creepy...i jus wanna read abt akaashi w a gf who gets hit on a lot & how he’d react/comfort her 😔 cuz i wish i had him to make me feel better when men are creepy to me 😔

I’m just happy you trust me to write your request, Em. I’m more than happy to take it on <3. I hope it lives up to what you expect. And I’m very sorry you have to deal with what you’re dealing with it’s... disgusting. But I admire your strength for powering through it every day. And Akaashi would too. He’d be so mad at the situation, but so proud of you.

~~~~~~

Fem!Reader x Akaashi

-When it’s harmless flirting, Akaashi usually brushes it off.

-He’s not fond of the situation, but he understands that beautiful girls often get flirted with, and that you can’t really help being so gorgeous, and having such a beautiful smile. Even when the smile is feigned solely for the purpose of doing your job.

-But he trusts you completely. Akaashi wouldn’t even be in a relationship with someone he didn’t fully trust, so it’s never too much of an issue.

-At most he’ll feign a little jealousy so he can tease you and you can tease him back. He loves the cute little batner when you try to reassure him.

-You came home one night, and while you were taking off your shoes Akaashi came up behind you and gave you a hug. He had really needed you that day. Needed to be near you more than anything. And as he whispered a greeting in your ear, his hands slipped into the pockets of your hoodie as he held you. They went in with the intention of holding your hands which were tucked in the pockets to shield them from the cold, but instead he found a note. With some guy’s phone number. He smiled deviously, before having his face fall back to its usual expression.

-He started walking away and reading the guy’s name out slowly, “Really?”

-You laugh, “Oh. That was just some guy at work, Keiji. He was really sweet.”

-“Sweet?”

-“Yeah, he just slid it over on the desk when he was checking out,” you say, following him as he goes to sit on the couch, still examining the paper like it’s an important document that needs to be reread.

-When you’re in front of him he takes your wrist, and tugs gently, pulling you onto the sofa next to him. “Sweeter than me?” Akaashi teases, kissing your hand gently before lifting it over and around his head so your arm is slung around his neck. You lean against his body looking at the creased piece of paper, an uneven heart next to the nine digits written on it.

-You purse your lips to the side, eyes going to the corner of the ceiling, “Well…”

-His arm is suddenly thrown around your waist, and pulls you close to his chest so you’re almost lying on top of him, “Come on, kitten, you can’t just say that!” His voice is slightly whiny before he leans in and kisses the crown of your head, hand cupping your cheek gently and then slipping below your chin and guiding your face to look up at his.

-“Okay fine, Keiji. You win. You’re sweeter,” you huff, annoyed at the effect he has on you. The way his eyes are so peaceful and full of love just for you that you can never resist him.

-He kisses your nose lightly. “Good,” his voice is deep and intense. You lift your head and kiss his lips, before tucking your face into his neck.

-Akaashi loves knowing that he’s the one who gets your kisses and your eyerolls. Your soft touches and your playful hits. Your love and your teasing. You are his, and he will never understand how he got so lucky.

-However when things go too far… his reaction changes.

~~~~

You come home late. Later than normal. Later than the nights when your shitty boss makes you take on extra shifts. Later than ever before. No texts. No calls. No warning. And the second Akaashi hears the keys, he’s at the door. He’s been pacing the length of the apartment the whole night, waiting for you to get home. Needing you to come home and be with him so he could be certain you were okay.

He just wants to pull you in close and hold you, hold on tight to you, and fall asleep easily.

But when he sees you, he hesitates. Your hair is a mess, your makeup completely gone, your eyes rimmed red, your body closed off to him, your lips swollen.

“Kitten?” he asks softly, approaching you slowly and cautiously like approaching a wounded animal, “Is everything okay?”

You shake your head. You can feel all of it still. The disgust and grime all over you. There’s nothing clean. Nothing safe.

Akaashi knows you too well, “Want me to run a bath for you?” You nod and he gets straight to it, setting up candles and a bath bomb quickly and warming the water to your perfect comfort level. He lets you be alone while you bathe, letting the warm water melt away the day. Melt away the touch of that man’s hand on yours when he took the key to his room. Letting the steam and scented candles fog your mind, separating you from your thoughts, hazing the memory of his sleazy grin and crude remarks. You let your eyes flutter closed, and let it all disappear.

It doesn’t.

You get out of the tub, and squeeze your hair out, just enough so it’s not dripping. Akaashi sitting on the sofa in the living room. His head is leaned back over the back rest, eyes closed in thought. He’s playing with his fingers the way he always does, bending them back slightly and rubbing them up and down before moving to the next one.

You know it’s killing him. He needs to fix it. Wishes he could know what’s wrong and solve it the way he always does, clear the problem and move on. But you’re not ready to talk about it. And there’s no way to really fix it anyway. You spent hours of your shift, and beyond your shift talking to HR. It was the whole reason you were out so late. And they’d only reminded you of precautions you were meant to take. Because there was nothing they could do. Nothing anyone could do. Especially not to undo the damage that had already been done.

You walk around the sofa and he sits up straight, eyes flashing up to you. You know he needs it, and the world always feels a bit safer with Akaashi, so you take one of his hands in yours. You let your eyes meet his and you can see him analyzing you.

It used to bother you. Used to get on your nerves that he didn’t just talk to you. But in moments like this, in the moments when the words seemed impossible, you were grateful he knew you this well. He scoots over slightly, giving you an easy way in, and you take it. You curl up next to him. Your head rests on his shoulder, your hand cupped gently in his as he plays with your fingers now. He sees the way you relax at his gentle touch, and it brings him some peace knowing he’s at least being helpful.

The increasingly late hour makes everything feel oddly calm. Like the events that happened…. didn’t. Like your mind falsified the event, like in a few hours you’d be able to chalk it all up to a dream or being wasted. Of course, every time you think about it, it hits you, all of what he said, what he did, and the terrible realization of what he must have been thinking.

You speak with calculated words, like the story isn’t yours, “It was bad today, Keiji.”

There was no prompting, but Akaashi acts like your words didn’t just come out of nowhere, “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“I don’t know what I want.”

He nods, lightly bobbing his head, “That’s okay. We can just stay like this. Or I can put on music, or a movie to distract you. But if you want to talk… I want to hear it.”

“Okay,” you say, finally turning your head to face him. He puts on a slight faked smile for you. You know he’s waiting. And you know it’s better to talk about it, to vent, then to let it keep consuming you. Get it out of your head, and then it’ll stop taking up every corner of your mind.

“There was … a really creepy guy at my work today. He …,” with being so mentally distant from the situation, and having already told the woman at work your situation, you thought it’d be easy to say. There was something about telling Akaashi that makes the whole thing real. It makes you realize how sickening it was. Forces you to take in the fact that that man had made a decision. A conscious decision proving that, to him, you and your comfort and boundaries, were not worth respecting. That you were something he believed he had a right to have access to. And the thought makes your mind open, finally accepting what happened, and you can’t go on. Your voice is caught under the lump in your throat, you can feel your eyes welling up.

Your lips press into a line, an attempt to hold in the whimpers threatening to fall out.

Akaashi’s eyes are patient and concerned, but once he realizes there won’t be more he doesn’t know what to do. You take the first motion, needing him closer as you cry into him, and Akaashi scoops you up into him, pulling you as close as the world will allow two people to be. “I’m so sorry.” He lets his large hands care for you, one rubbing up and down your back, pressing your slightly farther into him, the other scratching the back of your head gently.

You nod as you let the tears fall, gripping tight onto his shirt, letting yourself take him in. The smooth, gentle, welcomed feel of his skin as his body surrounds you. The clean, calming smell of him. The faint memory of cologne stuck to his shirt. His body wash, cologne, and detergent, filling your mind with pleasant memories. The warmth radiating off his body into yours. He feels warmer than the bath. You can feel the steadying control he has over his body.

“I’ve got you, Kitten. I’m right here,” he pushes you back only slightly so he can take your hands and loosens your grip on his shirt, instead letting his fingers intertwine with yours, “I’m not going anywhere.” He releases your hands, and his to your back, pressing you into him gently.

You bring your hands up, looping them around his neck and playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. You let yourself fall apart, let yourself tumble down and crack and weep, let fractured sentences slip out between sobs, unconcerned that you always leave them unfinished, because you know, no matter how far you break, Akaashi is there holding you together.

He never wavers. His breathing, his heartbeat, the calming strokes of his hands, all of it is steady. And he stays like this until your tears stop flowing, and your hiccups and sobs cease.

“Do you want to tell me the rest or do you want a distraction?”

“Distraction,” you barely manage to get out.

“A movie? A song? Do you want to hear about my day? Or have me tell you a story? Or---?”

“Just wanna hear your voice, Keiji.”

His heart doesn’t know what to do. You hear the way it thrums in his chest. Caught between melting apart at the sweet way you love him, at the knowledge that he can ease you, and breaking apart at how broken you sound.

“Alright, kitten. Let’s see… once upon a time, in a far off kingdom, there was….”

Akaashi continues to tell this little story. It’s mostly nonsense, but you love how his mind works. How he can spin beautiful stories for you whenever you need them.

When you hear him lose his thought, you chime in with a quick detail, your voice soft and raspy. It’s nothing like the stories he writes. These stories are far more special. He usually tells them to you when you’re having trouble sleeping, and you love the calm way he speaks, and the slight voices he does. You’re especially fond of the gentle way he pauses, waiting for you to name every character, or to say which creature the protagonists run into on their quest.

Tonight’s story was about a beautiful princess who, as always, shared your name or some variation of it. The story isn’t one you pay too much attention to, instead focusing on his heartbeat and the way his voice sounds deeper and garbled as it reverberates through his chest. Focusing on the way his body is wrapped around yours, and how safe it feels.

And after a little while, after a few twists and turns in the story, Akaashi manages to lull you to a peaceful sleep in his arms.

[kats-kradle]

Hi hello yes I actually found your blog while I was looking for Ronon Dex whump, something there is not nearly enough of, and I just wanted to say that should you ever want to share your thoughts about him, whump-related or otherwise, I'm around to hear them,,, I care him very much (which is why I like to see him hurt... funny how that works).

OHOHOHOHOHO DID SOMEONE SAY THE MAGIC WORDS “RONON WHUMP”????? And yes there is not NEARLY enough Ronon whump!!! Buckle up I don’t think you know what you’ve unleashed by offering to let me talk about this XD i have 43 (i counted thats not an exaggeration) unfinished fics where i whump this man so i have A Lot of Thoughts on this so i’ll try to keep my headcanons and general thoughts from getting mixed up so here we go (also I haven’t actually seen past season 3ish but I know like everything)

Just general thoughts

I just love the team dynamic in general the actors had great chemistry with each other

They don’t whump Ronon enough and that is A Crime.    

But when they do whump him OH BOY ITS GOOD

Just off the top of my head I can think of     the episode where John and Elizabeth were possessed by those people who     wanted to kill each other and ronon got SHOT that was dope especially when     it showed the surgery but I was so mad there was no aftercare

Also just the fact that after Ronon was shot the guy possessing John said (about John) something like “if only you could hear him right now he is screaming so loud” or something to that effect and I’m not really a John whumper but oh boy the thought of John fighting as hard as he could to try and get control back because he wants to help Ronon rlly adds to the experience

After atlantis flies and John is going around checking the damage and he finds Ronon with the shard of glass in his shoulder juts the way he kneels down next to him is so soft and his voice goes soft too its great

I haven’t gotten there yet but ohoho the enzyme episode where Ronon gets drugged and then has to go through withdrawal ohooho I may have watched that scene a few hundred times

I just love also how fiercely loyal Ronon is and how much he trusts them

That ep where those villagers were going to give them to the wraith and Ronon literally would rather die than let his friends be taken to the wraith I love how John and Teyla go through like  45 heart attacks that’s one of the ones I haven’t gotten to yet but ive  seen gifs and oh boy oh boy does it look good

The way I generally describe Ronon is he’s     like a bug fluffy dog. Like he’s kind of silly sometimes and he’s very     loyal and will kill without hesitation if it means keeping his friends     safe

Also just that whole scene when Ronon arrives     when John is asking Elizabeth if he can stay is just like a kid asking his     mom if he can keep a dog he found

And Ronon has such a sweet smile also I love it when hes happy (but also I love it when hes in pain)

Stargate Atlantis was very well directed because for most definitions of “good acting” you can see “oh this character is sad. Now they are happy” which I do understand that many people prefer  this because they have difficulty interpreting facial expressions but I absolutely adore how subtly expressive the actors are because to me it’s fascinating to decode what the character is feeling. They act like real people and talk in the way real people would and it seems super natural and not scripted, and you can just tell in their interactions that the characters care for each other a lot and its beautiful

Now that I’ve said something vaguely scholarly-like its time to move on to the mess of headcanons

Headcanons

So when rewatching season 2 with my sister I realized the amazing potential for angst involving Kell (his old commander who he killed) so in my mind even though he’s very loyal to John at first it was more of a “you saved my life now I’ll watch your back because I owe you” and he had difficulty trusting any of them but especially John this changes over time ofc but he can’t help being wary of command 

I also hc that Kell  would punish the soldiers in his division for being “unfit” for battle so like if they broke a leg or something they would be punished  (this is mostly just for my guilty pleasure of ANGST) so that way they     would “be more aware” of their surroundings and whatnot 

Also disobey direct  orders was a big no no and you know how laid back John usually is with  orders so the first time Teyla disobeyed a direct order after Ronon joined the team John was grumbling about it in a way Teyla knew wasn’t serious but Ronon just kind of panicked and started lying his ass off and saying he threatened her into doing it and he should take the punishment which led to an awkward conversation (awkward for Ronon, it left his teammates ready for some murdering)

He hides injuries  because he was alone for so long and never had anyone to take care of him so he just forgets that he has to mention it and in his mind some injuries might not be that bad 

Beckett is constantly  chasing him around after missions desperately trying to get him to hold  still for long enough to do a check

Ronon hates pain medicine because it tends to dull his senses so in his mind all the more  reason to avoid Beckett

He is really good friends with Beckett but just not when he’s hurt

Usually he wanders into the medbay after bad nightmares if Beckett is on night shift and will just sit there

One time he hesitantly asked if Beckett could check to make sure that the tracker was actually gone for good

Ronon was expecting to get laughed at but Beckett took the request with the upmost seriousness and ran all the tests he could think of to calm Ronon’s fear

One time Ronon stumbled into the medbay and he obviously hadn’t slept in a while and was flinching at every noise so Beckett made up an excuse to “take some blood to test and see if it would be compatible with vaccines for the common sicknesses  humans get” and just like. Sedated him. Ronon felt betrayed at first but quickly realized that Beckett only did it because he cared about him and wasworried. He did try to get more sleep after that tho

Oh and you can bet Beckett goes off at him if he ever ends up in the medbay which he does to everyone but  especially Ronon because usually he’s either dragged there or he’ll come  in like “yeah so three days ago for the last mission I got hit in the side and now I’m coughing up blood so…” and then will just like pass out

While he was a runner he trained himself to be a light sleeper so adjusting to Atlantis was difficult because the ocean would wake him up every night at first

Also thunderstorms are The Worst to him because 1. It gives him PTSD for when he was a soldier and the wraith were attacking and 2. When he was a runner thunderstorms were almost a death sentence because the wraith could track him but he couldn’t hide he couldn’t hear and he couldn’t see so yeah thunderstorms are real bad for him

He has a constant fear of leading the Wraith to his new home and his new family oh also I decided that he doesn’t know if his mother died or not so every place they go he’s hopeful he’ll see her

This is a hc I had before I knew it was basically canon but he and the team hang out in the cafeteria a lot especially after nightmares they just all gravitate there

Also I haven’t gotten here yet so I’m just going off of what I know but he kind of tried to leave after Beckett died because he managed to find a way to blame himself also one of my hcs is that Beckett would tell him  about Scotland all the time and had decided that if they ever got the opportunity to go to Earth then Ronon was coming to Scotland with him sooo     ehehhe the angst of Ronon going to earth for Beckett’s funeral and going     to Scotland with Beckett but not in the way either of them wanted

On to softer hcs just cuz

He loves hugs. 7 years of being alone would  make anyone want a hug.

Children gravitate to him for some reason. Logically it doesn’t make sense because he’s so big and a bit intimidating but children just adore him

He carries extra snacks for Rodney

He can’t swim. Somehow he went his entire life without knowing how to swim which Rodney is astounded by and goes on about it for a minute or so

John took it upon himself to give him swimming lessons. John was a terrible teacher but Ronon managed to get the idea

He loves cocoa, specifically loaded with marshmallows. Teyla jokes he likes the marshmallows more than the cocoa

Wow this has gone on so much longer than I thought it would

So that’s it! you unleashed the beast. I now demand to hear your thoughts on ronon because boy oh boy hes a great whumpee and im not sure ive met many if anyone who likes to whumpe him so im super excited!!

[dylanxmin]

painkiller ∣ 5 ∣ j.hs

breakups are habitual, ordinary maybe even easy for some other people, and maybe it could be easy for you, too, if you haven’t been dumped by your boyfriend after finding out that you were pregnant. no, it wasn’t easy even a bit. and a stranger who wants to be your side doesn’t make this all easy for you, at all.

pairing; jung hoseok x reader

genre; angst, fluff, humor, pregnancy au, strangers to lovers au, single!mom au, slice of life au,,

warnings; little high on angst, swearings, mention of abortion, mention of adoption, mention of miscarriage, unedited(rlly sorry about this)

word count; 5k+

rating; nc17

a/n; heyyy, it’s been a month since i last update this story and i only blame my finals, my sudden lost of muse, and some side effects of my life but there it is, freshly served, angsty episode!! ion know how did this come out but im feeling positive for the next episode! so,,,, hope you all enjoy reading this part, and as always, i do really appreciate a little comment soooo... lol, love y’all  ♡

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‘‘Yes, can we have a brief explanation about the story of our current project?’’ 

‘‘Miss Y/N?’’ 

‘‘Y/N?’’ 

Light, red and yellow mixes and crushes down when something hard nudges at your shoulder and brings you the reality. Shake of your body startles Namjoon, who was nudging your shoulder to wake you up. Pairs of eyes currently stares at you, wide, curious and surprised, too, as no one expects you to fall asleep in the middle of an important meeting. But, you did anyway. Surprising yourself with such an action, yet you lost control of your sleep schedule way before this meeting, so you weren’t that ashamed as the sleep still lingers around your head. 

Blinking, blinking, blinking for a couple of times before your vision loses its blur, and the faces look way better to your own eyes. Shock still fresh on their faces, a weird sound rises by your throat as you try to clean it before talking. Namjoon holds his laugh back, but you can see it in the redness of his cheeks and the veins that struggle under his skin. 

‘‘I-’’ you clear your throat, once again as it comes hoarse from sleeping. ‘‘I’m sorry, can you say it again?’’ Mr. Lee stares directly into your eyes, he opens his mouth but closes again. And you know you will try to drown yourself in the sink if the corner of his mouth hasn't curled up. 

You sigh, before he asks again, and listens to your explanation. You try to keep it smooth, and once you start to talk about your work, all the sleep leaves your head, enthusiasm fills it place. 

You love your work. Falling asleep doesn’t mean the opposite. 

‘‘I swear to god if you won’t stop laughing, Kim-’’ 

‘‘But..- but you told the story of our new game, drool drying on your chin, with such an enthusiastic manner.’’ Namjoon’s giggles cut himself, palm hangs in the air, other on his knee. A manager who is in his thirties enjoys his coworkers suffer, laughs his lungs off. Such a mature man. You sigh, hand curled around the cup full of water for you to go to the bathroom after. Countless times. 

Fingertips pinching the tip of your brows, you stand on the kitchen side of your office. Shame still red on your face, you barely able to hold yourself back from either crying or smashing the cup on your friend’s head. Which, you like the last option very much. It’s a shame that you possibly couldn’t do that here. Maybe later, on one of your movie nights. 

‘‘I think it was cute, though.’’ the man in his much more formal clothes rather than his usual sweatpants and his shirt enters the kitchen side. Brown hair brushed neatly on the left side, his features look good. ‘‘Don’t pressure yourself anymore. I’m sure they are used to these things.’’ 

‘‘Thank you for helping my self-reliance to gather itself, but I don’t think it’s that simple, Damien.’’ imitating his smile, even though it’s more faint then he has, you sigh once again. Taking a spot on the table, you let your head fall on it. ‘‘I was literally drooling all over myself. Ugh… such a mess.’’ 

Another laugh escapes by Namjoon’s lips, but he pats your head also. ‘‘Damien is right. You know Jihoon and Yeona will be cool about this.’’ 

You scoff. ‘‘Yeah, but I don’t refer to them by their first names as they are the Ceo’s of this company. Like you,’’ 

‘‘Then you shouldn’t refer to me with my name, too, as I’m your boss.’’ an annoying smirk alive on his mouth, he swipes his body on the table. Gulping down his coffee, his stares never leaves you. Something hot, almost burning coils in your chest. Reminding you red, as you stare at him back. Mouth wrinkled, your breath felt heavy. 

It was anger and you didn’t know how to pressure it back where it came from. Even before your pregnancy, you weren’t good with handling your emotions, but now. With so many hormones not knowing what to do, you were even worse. Sudden crying sessions, constant fury always ready to burst out, and the sneaky, dark anxiety getting you at the worst moment, where you were alone and in the dark. It was hard, and too much. Even before being pregnant, and while being pregnant. You weren’t good with them. 

‘‘You know what, I decide not to cook for you anymore.’’ heartbreak flashes in Namjoon eyes, you crossed your arms over your chest. ‘‘You can buy your own chicken breast from somewhere and eat that shitty sauce.’’ 

‘‘Ouch..’’ Damien who is currently watching the cold vibrations coming from you, stays silent after your gaze lands on him. He is scared, and not ready to be the next target of your stinging tongue. Though, it doesn’t last that long. 

Once you see the tremble of Namjoon’s lips, and his hug follows his sorry’s, your coldness melts away. Shame creeps back, sits heavy as you lower your head on the table. But before you can dive in your bad scenarios in your head, brutal yet familiar bickering starts when Nara enters the kitchen, after she takes her place on the table. Her nose crinkled with disgust while waiting for Namjoon to end his insults, only to throw another to him. Damien tries to cut them off, but it’s useless as he gives up and rests his back on his chair. Hesitant stares gather on you, only to tear them apart while you pretend like you didn’t notice. 

Yet, you don’t want to suffocate yourself with your thoughts, you raise your head, eyes meeting with the brown haired man. Because you don’t and probably can’t break that cold war between your friend and Nara, you find your escape on Damien. 

‘‘So, we have to prepare a meeting for you to put a suit on?’’ cocking your brow high, you ask. His surprise fades after a moment of waiting. Maybe because you aren’t the warmest person or because of the effect of your friends that filled your head with the idea of him having some feelings for you, you never attempt to talk with him first. Not that he isn’t a decent man, but more likely, you weren’t into him and did not want to make a wrong move. For him to get the wrong idea. 

But maybe you are being stupid for believing your delusinal friends about his feelings, and he just wants to be friendly. Though, it’s good to not risk anything, right?

‘‘Suits just not my type, and also, who is wearing these other than him?’’ Damien points Namjoon, who is in a deep, hurtful conversation with your other coworker. You tear your eyes from him to land on Damien once again, his smiling this time. Wide, eyes imitating it. ‘‘Also, doesn’t it hurt your feet? You weren’t wearing heels for a long time.’’ 

After he mentions it, your feet start to pulse with pain. Embarrassment clouded all over your other senses, but his words bring them back. And you wrinkle your face in pain. Of course, it hurts. How it won’t hurt while your feet try to set themselves free by growing bigger inside of its cage and the process isn’t an easy one. Though, these whining are the last thing for your coworker to hear so you simply go with a soft smile. 

‘‘Yeah, a bit but nothing I can’t handle.’’ 

‘‘Oh okay then. Good to hear.’’ he leans closer, eyes gleaming like a child in his pre-mischievous stage. ‘‘Just in case, I have a pair of nice sneakers waiting in my closet. All comfy and less deadly.’’ 

Mirroring the act, you also get close to him. Palm covering the side of your curled mouth, ‘‘I will consider it, but why are you acting like you were selling drugs?’’ whispering the half of your words, you cocked your head aside, watching his face wrinkle due to his growing smile. And seeing him from this side, you realise how good looking he is. Radiant smile adds more point to his charisma as he does, eyes narrow but curls cutely on the ends, and for a second you just stare at his side profile. His spotless skin dips on the cheek as his dimple wants to show off. Thankfully, when he starts to talk the silvery sheet goes away, to your luck. 

‘‘Well, we won’t want other heel wearers to come at my desk for my fancy shoes, right?’’ 

Nodding, you point your finger at him as if he made a good point. ‘‘I see… Of course we wouldn’t want that, of course.’’ 

After the short break, everyone turned in their work the same as you. And you find yourself so tired after talking about the details of the story of your current game with Heejin. Trying to find reliable reasons and motives is hard for some time, as you continue to work on the specific character’s choices in the game, and why and exactly how they should do is sometimes irksome even when you have someone who tries really hard to help you. Yet, you know you can’t put all the weight on Heejin’s shoulders as the poor woman barely had some sleep because of the pre-cold effect. 

When she sneezed for the fourth time in the last five minutes, you had to stop and be sure of her well being. Putting your palm on her clothed arm, you mimicked a smile to look sympathetic rather than annoyed. Even though you were a little bit. Thankfully, she doesn’t have to know that. 

‘‘I know I asked this before but are you sure you are okay? Maybe you should take a rest for the rest of the day. Obviously, you need some.’’ 

She looks hesitant at first, eyes widens at your words but she covers it with a faint smile and nods. ‘‘Oh, I’m okay, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me.’’ Heejin bites down her lip before continuing again. ‘‘Did I annoy you? I’m sorry, I just took a pill, so I think that will make me better in a couple of minutes.’’ 

‘‘No, no…’’ pulling your hands in the air, you shake your head in denial. It did bother you but not much for her to apologize for being sick. ‘‘I just wanted to check on you, I’m not… disturbed. It’s okay.’’ 

Your half reassurance works barely, as she tries to lower the voice of her sneezes after that. And everytime, a drip adds to your growing guilt. As Heejin is younger than you for three years, and you have been working here longer than her, it puts some stairs between you two and now with that, you fix the ice between you two. The ice that you have been trying to melt from the first day she was here, and now, thanks to your pregnancy hormones, it started to build once again. Not just with Heejin, but everyone around you was walking on eggshells around you as your rage came out of nowhere, so sudden that sometimes it even shocks you. But for a stupid reason - well, it’s not stupid as you are pregnant and that played with your emotions -, you couldn’t control the sudden change of your feelings. 

One second being calm and the other being tense did tire you for sure as senses flow through every nerve you have. Breathing exercises merely helped, and that led you to staying away from the people around you. As sometimes words come out rude before you can realise. And nobody deserves that kind of attitude, even the ones you know from your childhood. 

For that reason, you turned down Taehyung’s offer to come with you as you know that owing to his nature, he will do something silly to make you angry or stressed even when he does it with all his good intentions. Some days, even when you are in your usual state you can’t stop being bothered by him, and you had no intentions to taste it today. Which, nothing was normal in your current mental state, so that’s for the best. 

Driving past the now familiar streets, you learned a new thing: Driving with a jean without opening its button can be hard, as you have to undo the button while your stomach growls in need. While your stomach become visible, looking like you ate too much for your stomach to handle, sudden thirst for stupid cravings increased day by day. Sadly, it affected your friends as much as you. 

In the middle of night, you woke Yoongi up for him to get you apples, pickles for Taehyung and last but not least, ice cream for Namjoon. As your cravings decide to choose the oddest times, three of them find the solution to fill your fridge until there is no space left. Well, after you sat on your kitchen floor and cried they had to eat some of them with you, as they basically called you fat by doing that, and paid for it. For them, they just wanted to make sure you get what you want but at this point, what they thought barely mattered. 

‘‘Okay, that was tiring.’’ you whispered through your exhale, while parking the car. For the records, parking turned into a hell show for you as going further and back, further and back, further, further and back has your nerves strain like a string. Though, you never liked it anyway. You were ready to leave your car, but the ringtone of your phone cut the act. 

‘‘Hey, mom.’’ 

‘‘Nope. Your voice sounds the same, rather than I thought so.’’ sighing, you brushed your face by your palm. Words like a needle on the skin, your mother always knew how to use them. ‘‘Well don’t ‘ahhh’ at me. As we barely speak, I obviously expect to forget your voice, tell me if I’m wrong.’’ 

Nodding as if she is able to see you through the phone, you put your head on the wheel. She was annoyed as it was very clear by her high and thin tone. 

‘‘Yes, Ma’am.’’ your reply earned another high pitched warning from her so you had to calm her between your giggles. ‘‘Okay, okay… You’re right, Mama. I should call you more but you know work and everything keeps me busy. But I will try my best, promise.’’ 

‘‘Apology accepted. But even though I know you prefer to talk about work, and the video thing you adore talking about, I’m most likely interested in my baby’s baby. So, how’s the pregnancy going?’’ 

This is the exact reason why you didn’t call her more than you did. As she is very interested in your life and interior with it, of course pregnancy will be the same. And you couldn’t ignore the things you can as she will talk about them, will want to know about them and give some advice from her past experiences. Not that you will need any of them, but of course as you postponed everything, you did the same thing to this topic, too, and left your mother in the dark. You will run as far as you can. 

‘‘They called games, not video thing but it’s your choice.’’ while thinking of it itched your tongue, you swallowed all the tensing thoughts down, and ready yourself to talk. ‘‘And the… pregnancy is going good if we don’t count the constant eating, peeing, crying, being tired twenty-four-seven, not fitting in my favorite clothes and all the pain it put me through.’’ 

She laughs as if you just told the funniest joke she heard. Cocking your brows, you run through what you said to make her laugh this much to fail. 

‘‘Ohhh, my baby. Stop talking about this as the things are all bad. You have a baby in your belly, your baby. They will become your everything, and mostly good things because you will love them more than anything you can. Believe me, I could die in return for your laugh. A bubbly, vivid laugh. Ahh… remembering it made me soft, right now.’’ 

‘‘Trying to be unbiased about gender, I see?’’ 

‘‘Well, I don’t want to affect the baby.’’ 

Though you want so bad to ask how that could actually affect the baby, you stay silent. All the baby talk is already pulling you down, it is better if you can stay out of the gender topic as much as you can. Not that it mattered, you thought. 

‘‘What do you mean? Why it wouldn’t matter darling?’’ 

Huh? 

Clearly, you weren’t thinking, but murmuring under your breath as your mom heard it. When you hit your head on the wheel, the horn startles you both. Fixing your posture, you answered your mother’s hurried question. 

‘‘It was horn, I’m in the car. Yes, yes I’m okay, don’t worry. I’m at the hospital- No, no- Mom, for the appointment. Yes… yes, for the baby. I will talk to you later, okay? I will call, I promise- Yes, I promise. Okay, love you, too.’’ 

You sigh once again. A loud one. 

You do hate lying to the woman who would do anything you want, but you know she is not ready to lose her grandchild, yet. You are not ready for the speech you will receive, also. Not that it will be harsh or critical, you just are not ready to accept the whole thing. Yes, you still had problems with the whole pregnancy thing even though you made your mind with adoption. You still had thirty weeks to go, and that won’t go fast. Not in a normal time, or in the pregnancy. 

Head full of blurring thoughts, you missed the man who shakes his hand from afar. The black haired man’s smile faded as you passed by his side without sparing a glance. Too busy with thinking how to calm your mother after you give her the news. The news that she won’t have a grandchild anytime soon. Fuck… that’s gonna be hard. 

Well, maybe not hard as much as the door you decide to welcome it with your face rather than opening. A loud thud, and muffled curse under your breath, instinctively you checked your nose if there is more than the pain you feel, as there is no blood you calm down, shoulders drop their usual place. Apparently, you were conscious enough to lead yourself to the floor where your doctor’s office, past the stairs, and find his door but when it comes to open the door you fail. Tears sit on your eyelids at once as you close them due to the pain that crushes your sight. Trying to massage your nose bridge barely helps but giving it a try won’t hurt, you think. 

‘‘Oh my, are you okay?’’ from your closed and blurred eyesight, you can’t choose who is the one talking but his voice lets you know that he is your doctor, Seokjin. ‘‘I heard a loud thug but couldn’t understand it was a human until you groaned. Are you okay, you bumped your nose? Let me get a look at that.’’ 

Not forgetting to thank him while he guides you inside his office, now you are able to open your eyes and set the tears free as they go down. Seokjin sits you on the white sheeted chair, handles your head to go right and left as he scans your face and nose behind creased eyes. He looks really concerned, more than you, and somehow it puts you on a stage where you feel like you have to make him sure that you were okay and nothing was wrong. It still feels weird when someone gets concerned over you more than yourself, as who would care for someone more than one’s self so it’s still vague. 

‘‘I-I’m actually okay. I didn’t hit that hard as it sounds, it doesn’t even bleed so…’’ wry smile is all you offer him as your voice trails down when his eyes meet with yours, a bit keen rather than you thought they will. 

Seokjin sighs with a line between his brows but he lets go, and when he puts a decent distance between you and himself, professionalism settles in his features as he adjusts his tie. 

‘‘It does look okay, but make sure you put some ice when you can as it could leave a bruise behind.’’ he smiles, both sweet and very technically. As he practiced it for every client he had and now performing it without any difficulties. It looks natural. ‘‘So, tell me how are you feeling? You should still have the early pregnancy symptoms such as morning sickness, sleep issues, and more likely they will hang around for a few more weeks. But it’s more important if you have a symptom that comes unnatural or unbearably painful for you?’’ 

After taking two deep breaths, you feel ready to give him a reply. Nose still throbs by the hit but it’s faint now. 

‘‘Uhm…- yeah, other than the ‘expected’ symptoms, I don’t feel like something is wrong, or not supposed to happen. No more painful urination, though I still need it frequently.’’ you grimace lightly as you share, shifting a bit. ‘‘But yeah, I’m okay.’’ you try to wipe the fresh embarrassment with the non glowing smile you had in your storage. Probably he should but you still don’t know if he needs to know that you choose adoption. As he is your doctor, and the one who is taking care of you and the baby, you know that he must know about it, but unpleasant eerie stops you from doing what you should.  

Old habits die hard, that’s for sure. 

‘‘Excellent. It’s good to hear that everything is going on it’s way, and today, as now you are in the tenth week of your pregnancy, I’m recommending you a genetic test in case there is any birth defect.’’ 

‘‘What is that?’’ even though Seokjin was done with talking, you utter so fast that it feels like you interrupted him, as you shut your mouth with wrinkled brows. It was just getting tiring day by day with all of these tests, things to do and not to do, being extra careful because you have another living creature in you to take care, more than yourself. No more selfish, damaging, stupid choices can be done as your body no longer belonged to you. At least not only to you and this was really, really tiresome. 

As he was expecting this, Seokjin comes up with some papers as you can understand them. ‘‘As I said before, it’s a test to acknowledge any kind of defect in the baby. These tests take two forms: screening tests and diagnostic tests. And a screening test tells you the likelihood that your baby could have a birth defect; a diagnostic test tells you with more than ninety nine percent certainty whether the baby has the disorder.’’ He explains more as you take the papers from him, scanning the words but they are almost identical as Seokjin continues with his further explanation. The blank eerie gets heavier and heavier the further he talks, and when he comes to the risks, it feels like your pulse palpitates on your throat. Tearing your eyes from the papers that sit on your lap, you stare at the man who is still talking. 

‘‘There is small risk of miscarriage, that’s why you need to carefully consider tha advantages and the disadvantages of these test before you make any decision, even it’s small.’’ 

A slap to the face, a weight falls on your stomach after Seokjin is done with his statement. Mouth hangs open, you stay still, silent as the Doctor waits patiently, now he is behind his desk, sitting his hands intertwined. As if he knows the new information would put a heavy dullness in you as he searches your every movement, yet you gave him hardly any. 

‘‘Do I… have to?’’ 

The idea of taking these tests would be tiring is there but the cause of your nausea is not just that. More likely, it’s the idea of losing something. Even though that something doesn’t belong to you because you never wanted it, and nothing has changed since then. Whether it's the guilt of knowing everything caused because of your recklessness, or it’s because you feel obligated to give the baby a good life due to your current maternal instincts - you hardly say you had one -, whether it’s beside you or far away from you, you feel the suffocating necessity. Even if the risk has one percent chance, you can’t take it. Maybe it’s odd to push your one percent chance to become free with the back of a hand, but that would be running away, and both of you already had one runner in your lives, and the baby wouldn’t need another. 

‘‘I know it sounds scary but you can take your time, you don’t have to do it now. You can search it a bit more about the cons and pros but I never had any problems with my former clients if you need any consolation. And you can always ask for me more.’’ 

Chewing your bottom lip, you still look at him in the eye like you need to give him an answer. You do trust your doctor but that doesn’t mean that you purposely rejected the idea of getting abortion while you deal with an unwanted pregnancy only to come across with a risk of miscarriage. Of course it is always there whether you do the test or not, but that's nearly a consolation. 

Nodding, you put all the papers in your bag before leaving the doctor’s office. Biding your goodbyes after ending with this week control. 

You come to the hospital with a dazed head, and you were going to leave it even more wrecked. But you just needed some air, somewhere to ease the wave of emotions that is going through your head. To catch your breath, you adjust your route to the cafeteria in the outdoors. Maybe, that could help you somehow. 

Not temporarily, but taking fresh air in your lungs somehow helped you. The phone call you had with Taehyung while you were at the verge of tears, too, and you sit in the cafeteria during all of these. Mimicking the doctor's words to your friend and Taehyung had listened to you, hang on your every word as much as he can on the other side of the line. Tried to console you, said that things will be alright and nothing bad will happen as if he was as sure as his name. And momentarily, you believed him. Both because you needed it, and he was being a good friend and you didn’t want him to feel useless. 

For good or ill, now, your heart is resting in ease. 

Well at least it was until you see a glimpse of dark uniform in the corner of the wall, and then a familiar face you haven’t seen in a while. A smile that softly shaped as heart, causing your heart to palpitate fast but in a much different way than the news you learned today, or the idea of your mother's future disappointment. It’s more thrilling and in a way even scarier than the other two options. As the opposite of how familiar the face is, the reason for your heart going this insane was abrupt. Even odd when you think the very less time you spent with the owner of the familiar face, yet it was there, forcing you to gulp down, consume every emotion he forced you to feel. 

Contrary to what you expect - and you didn’t know why you were expecting him to be happy after seeing you - his face falls, the shape of heart shutters around his mouth. And to your shock, it put needles somewhere near to your chest. 

The last time you saw him, the atmosphere was intense as you shared things that normally you wouldn’t do with a partially stranger but with him even though feelings were gloomy, you weren’t uneasy. And to you, when he was consoling you, internalizing what you were telling him, he wasn’t disturbed. At least he didn't look like that. But, the more you size him up, the more you get sure of his strange disturbance. And it did burn. Smoke choked you down, and put tears on your eyes. Fucking pregnancy hormones…

Not aware of your action, you caught your hand in the air, in the middle of a shake as Hoseok greeted you by the tiny bow of his head. And expecting more cutted harsly, as a knife in the gut. 

Whether it’s because of your blind act, or whether he feels obligated, Hoseok comes closer to the table you were sitting, leaving the person behind he was talking to before he saw you. With every step, you breathe another air to gather your confidence a bit high, but it’s useless as your hands start to tremble under the table, fortunately away from his sight. 

‘‘H-hi,’’ no matter how much Hoseok tries to sound friendly, it’s not, and you can hear in his voice as it comes out broken. His eyes are still deep and candid but not glowing the way it fascinated you when you first saw him. Still, you greeted him with a tight smile, wave of your hand small. 

‘‘Take a seat-’’ pointing the available chair, you cut yourself to say something else. To correct your words. ‘‘I mean if you want… of course,’’ 

To your surprise, he holds the chair to adjust for him to sit on. But everything feels so forced and awkward that you can’t stop wondering if you said something to him and cause him to feel uncomfortable around you. Your brain works so hard to scan the memories of that day, but you fail to find something so disturbing to make Hoseok shift in his seat, a line between his brows and a noticeably insincere smile. 

It takes minutes for someone to talk first and scare the clouds away only for a moment. 

‘‘Are you waiting for your appointment or has it already finished?’’ 

‘‘Ah, yeah, it’s done. I just needed to take a moment and fresh air because…’’ your voice eventually trailed off as you realised he just asked to look friendly and probably doesn’t want to hear your whelming emotions anymore. ‘‘of stuffs, you know.’’ 

Hoseok nods, his mouth thin as a line, and even though it shouldn’t, it breaks your heart. Yes, this man owes you nothing, and of course he doesn’t have to sit there and listen to how sorry and depressed you feel over the things doctor Seokjin have told you, but it still hurts to see him this… joyless. The curiosity burns deep and wild as you desperately want to know what the hell you did to make him this anxious, but your mind barely helps as you wander in the empty field. 

‘‘I should probably get going-’’ 

‘‘It’s been a while-’’

Words clashing and drowning one another, silence takes over and Hoseok abruptly stops above his chair as he was about to leave before you parted him. And now he looks at you with wide eyes, fear in his chest growing big as your bottom lip trembles for only a second but he catches it. 

He sits back on his seat with hands on the air. ‘‘Oh, yeah, it’s been a while since we last saw each other.’’ he says but you know it’s out of pity, and you would rather die than crumbling under his gaze. So you shake your head with a false smile, though hammers work in your chest. 

‘‘Ah, don’t mind me. Go ahead, you are probably busy and have so much to do. So, you can leave, seriously.’’ 

‘‘No-, no, no, Y/N. I’m sorry, I want to stay and talk to you, really. I really am sorry for acting rude.’’ 

Maybe because the look on his face, or the warm tone of his voice, you decide not to pressure him to leave after you ask if he really wants it for a second time. But he nods and smiles, and this time it reaches his eyes, a hot pink blossoms in you. 

Though, before either of you can say anything, a touch at your back stops you. You hear the breathy voice before you turn your head. ‘‘Ahh, finally I found... you. Care to explain why you are-...not picking your phone?’’ 

And when you turn over, you see a panthing Yoongi. His hand on his knee and looks at you with concerned gaze. Then, they leave you only to land on the man on the other side of the table, and Yoongi’s eyes go wide. 

He extends his hand in a non-moving shake to the air. ‘‘Oh, hi. Sorry to butt in.’’ he stretches his hand towards him, the ghost of a smile appears on his lips. ‘‘It’s Yoongi,’’ 

Voice deep, and it takes long to draw out when the man in dark uniform mirrors the act. ‘‘Hoseok.’’ 

[marveloussupernerd]

Omgomgomg! Um since requests are open, would you mind terribly if I request a sequel to the Jumin Han having an affair with MC while being married to Sarah one shot you did? Like what if MC got pregnant, and delivered Jumin's first borb son? How would they deal with the illegitimate heir who Jumin loves?

mad woman pt 2 - Jumin Han

Happy Jumin angst day I guess. Y’all in the requests are merciless... this one isn’t rlly all that bad, I plan on making more parts obvi bc the poor kid isn’t even born yet haha I got carried away

Summary: Jumin had to marry Sarah to save his company, but made it very clear to her that his heart belonged to you, and he would continue seeing you. You weren’t aware there would be permanent effects. There will probably be more parts lmfao

This couldn’t be possible. But it was. You were five pregnancy tests in, from three different companies. They were all on the counter in a line, plus signs and the word “pregnant” on every single one. You cried out in pain, sweeping your hand across the counter and knocking them onto the floor. You collapsed with them, leaning against the bathroom wall. How did this happen? Why did this happen? What would you do? You were sobbing. How would you tell Jumin? There had been rumors about the two of you but a child, especially one out of wedlock? His reputation would be ruined.

You weren’t answering your calls. Jumin was worried. He knew you hadn’t been feeling well for the past few days. He thanked God you had given him a key to your apartment and unlocked the door, searching for you. He called out your name, only to receive no response. You weren’t in the kitchen, or on the couch napping, or in bed absorbed in a book as you typically were. He was surprised to find you in the bathroom, slumped against the wall and fast asleep.

The bathroom was a mess; you always kept things tidy, so he was surprised. You had heavy tear marks on your cheeks. What had made you so upset? And then he saw what exactly was littering the floor. Tissues and... positive pregnancy tests. They were everywhere. He felt his heart skip a beat. You were carrying his child? It was everything he could have hoped for. But clearly it wasn’t what you had hoped for; he could tell from the tears.

He started to clean up, collecting the tissues and throwing them in the trash, gathering the tests and setting them on the counter. Finally, he focused his attention to you. He kneeled down and picked you up carefully, arms wrapped around your shoulders and the crook of your knees.

You stirred from the sudden change in position. Your eyes were heavy and hard to open. “Jumin?” You asked. You were exhausted.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. He set you down gently on your bed and took a seat next to you. He didn’t speak.

Your memories came flooding back to you. It wasn’t a dream, huh? You started crying again. “Jumin I’m sorry. I don’t know what we’re going to do.” You couldn’t stop crying. The more you though about the situation the more hopeless you felt.

He put a hand on your knee gently. “It’s a horrible set of circumstances,” he confessed, his voice level as always, “but please, try not to be so upset.” He paused, looking up at you from under his lashes. “You’re really pregnant? With my child?” There was a flash of a smile on his face.

“Yes,” you replied, laughing a little, despite the fact that you were still crying.

“Well this is great news.”

“No it’s not. This is horrible news, Jumin. What about your company? Sure your father slept around but he never had a child out of wedlock.” The words were rushing out of your mouth. You finally had the chance to voice your thoughts and you couldn’t stop them.

“I’ve told you this before and I’ll tell you again. I don’t care about any of that,” he smiled again, scooting up the bed so he could sit next to you. He grabbed your hand.

“I won’t let you do this to yourself.” You felt nauseous. “I told you I’m not worth it.”

“And I’ve convinced you otherwise.” He stopped again. He looked thoughtful. “Unless... this isn’t what you want. Do you not want to have this child?” His eyes glistened, his face fell. “It is completely you’re decision. It’s your body after all.”

“No, of course I want to have the baby.” You leaned your head against his shoulder. “I just don’t know how we’ll do it. We can’t tell anyone.”

“You’re always so worried about me. What about you? I don’t want you to raise this child on your own. I want to be a father to them.” He spoke gently, stroking your hand with his thumb.

“But what about them? How do you want to handle it? People will find out. You need to tell Sarah. I know you don’t care for her too much, but you are married to her Jumin.”

He rolled his eyes. “This doesn’t concern her.”

“It absolutely does. If you thought you were distant around her before, just imagine. This baby would change everything.” You kept your voice steady. You didn’t want to argue with him, but you did want to remind him of what was important. “And everyone has been asking when the two of you will have a child, an heir to the company,” your voice this time was disapproving. It was awful in your opinion to set a path for the kid before they were even born. “How will she feel? What will the press do? It’s been almost a year since you’ve been married.” You sighed. “There are so many things to consider.”

“I am not sleeping with Sarah.” He shook his head. “I’ve never had the desire to. I don’t want to have a child with her. I don’t want my child to be like her... I want them to be like you.”

“This is not how it works, Jumin.”

“So what? I’ll tell the news you’re expecting. They’ll be all excited that some sort of an heir is on the way. They’ll be mad too, for Sarah’s sake. But it’ll be obvious that her and I’s relationship is only one of convenience. I’m tired of the charade anyways.”

“Jumin...” you started.

“I know. There’s a lot to think about. But do you think... maybe for tonight we can pretend there aren’t all of these problems? Maybe we could just focus on the fact that we’re going to be parents,” he asked. His eyes were hopeful and shiny. He was quite emotional today, not that you were one to talk.

You sighed, closing your eyes and trying to will all the negative thoughts out of your brain. Then you nodded. “Jumin, Honey. I have some news for you.”

“Wait are we starting this whole conversation over?” He blushed. “I just wanna make sure.”

You laughed out loud. “Yes. Now guess what the news is.”

His eyes were mischievous. He obviously knew what the news was but enjoyed playing along. “You got a kitten?”

“Nope. Try again?”

“You got a promotion.”

You clicked your tongue. “Wrong again. Wow, you’re bad at this game.”

“Forgive me, My Love. What’s the news?” He kissed your knuckles.

“We’re pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.” You giggled.

“Really?” He asked, a small smirk on his face.

“Mhm. I have five pregnancy tests to prove it.”

He tackled you into a hug, pushing you down further into the bed. He kissed your lips, then pulled himself down further to kiss your stomach. “This is the best news ever. I know I’ve said that before but it’s true. I couldn’t ask for better news.”

You giggled again, pulling him back up to you give him a better kiss. He cupped your face in his hand, resting his other hand on your stomach as though he’d be able to feel the baby (of course he couldn’t, you were pretty early on). It was cute though.

“I’m going to be the best father to them. I promise.” His eyes were more serious now. “I know you’re worried about everything, but I promise I’ll figure it out. I’ll protect you both and take care of you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you both happy and keep you safe.”

“I love you Jumin.” You smiled.

He plopped down onto the bed by your side, pulling you closer to him. “I love you too. Now what do you think about just cuddling and watching a movie today?”

“You’re such a softie, you know? I’d love that.”

[enderspawn]

🎼 (I can’t find the correct emoji lol) exile arc tommy?

Oh boy! (opens up breakdown playlist) /hj

Montreal – Penelope Scott

Sleep with a Baseball Bat – Cosmic Johnny

Brother – Gerard Way

breakdown under cut, tw for suicidal ideation on the first song esp

1.       Montreal – heehee hoohoo suicidal/depression thoughts baby!!

I mean in short this is tommy saying he wont Survive exile. The intro of the song lists when the singer would be home from college/school and that “another 90 day summers gonna take [their] fucking life” which is rlly just. Tommy not gonna live THAT long in exile.

“And I would rather die And let me make it clear It's nobody's fault But I think we all know That I won't make it to Montreal”

So the thing here is that its “nobody’s fault” bc on one hand it is that he doesn’t blame tubbo but worse he doesn’t blame DREAM. Its just meant to happen, its not bc of anybody, yknow?

“And I would rather die I'll jump before I'll fall And I'm having lots of fun But I won't make it Montreal”

Mans tried to jump to his death before he “fell” whether bc of dream or an accident, hes makin the active CHOICE to end it rather than just waiting. Even w the fun he’s having w dream, he’s miserable and he knows he wont make it to see lmanberg again

“You like to talk about the future As if it's real And when you tell me that you love me I can almost feel it”

Dream keeps promising him stuff for the future. Maybe he can visit to see the tree, maybe he can get another visit, maybe he wont be alone. But tommy doesn’t care, its all fake to him (which like, it is so good for him but fjkdlsjf)

“It's not that it's a bad plan No, the plan fucking slapped I was so excited you don't know how bad I wanted all of it The coffee shop, the weather, the apartment But I don't want anything anymore I don't know, I guess I just got bored”

Okay so. Tommy kept trying to get shit together to leave, right? He wanted to go back so bad and have this domestic life w his friends but in the end he just got so downtrodden that after his shit got blown up he was so ready to just GIVE UP.

“And I don't wanna die I don't wanna get left behind But it's better half than none I hope to god you have some fun”

He doesn’t want to be in this situation, he still CARES abt the lmanberg crew but in the end hes been told that they’re happy WIHTOUT him. He’s not angry at them, not anymore, he just wants them to be happy bc he isn’t.

2.       Sleep with a Baseball Bat – tommy and dream relationship baby!!

“And every time you wake up Thinking this could be the day Well something, something just”

Every day in exile he had no real plans. He just had to exist out there alone and hope someone else came. This IS the day he can do…. Something. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t have a goal.

“And when your love is an anxiety attack Don’t settle for that, don’t settle for that And when you wake and find the claw marks in your back Sleep with a baseball bat, sleep with a baseball bat”

Hes been manipulated into thinkin dream is his friend, that dream “loves” him but it makes him miserable! Hes paranoid and stressed and falling apart!! Boy!!! Fjdsklfj

“Siena says you’re getting used But something’s broken in your head And you can’t run away when you need to”

The other ppl who visited him, like ranboo, KNEW something was happening and that he was in a bad place but tommy had been manipulated by dream so much that he couldn’t process it. No, dream couldn’t be bad, dream was his friend, right? He couldn’t leave exile, dream would be upset. Its all what DREAM wants, not tommy.

“Hey, space cadet Are you still floating round the rock That you spent so much of your life trying to get away from? And does it at least look different from up there?”

OKAY SO ONE. SPACE CADET? THAT’S CLARA BABY!! TWO: he spent ALL his time on this server fucking fighting dream, trying to “get away from” him. But now hes stuck “floating around” with him as his “friend”. The last line feels sarcastic and bitter but like. FUCK it hits, yknow??

“It might take a couple tries till you believe it But love is real, you’ll figure it out, you’ll live to see it But you still have to take a couple of falls And you can’t make an omelet without breaking your balls So batter up Is your bed made? Is your helmet on?”

HAPPY ENDING POG!! HE STARTS HEALING!!!! HE STARTS REALIZING DREAM WASN’T HIS FRIEND!!! He still “falls” and relapses into wanting dream w him but hes so much better!!! Also,,,,, “is your helmet on” w the turtle shell helmet (eyes emoji)

3.       Brother – IF TECHNO AND TOMMY NOT BROTHERS WHY THIS SON—(gunshot rings out)

Okay so on a serious note this song is abt addiction and while I don’t want to take away from that Serious Topic, it Does relate but w tommy dealing w his ptsd of dream

“And brother, if you have the chance to pick me up And can I sleep on your couch To the pound of the ache and pain? Oh, in my head 'Cause I'm awake all night long To the drums of the city rain”

Hhrhnrng staying at technos place to hide from dream and get better a lil JFKDLSJK. Also “the drums of the city rain” is referenced a LOT in this song but like. It keeps him up so,,,,,, dream JFKDLSJF. Mans barely ever slept in exile so it WORKS okay jfkdlsjf

“The lights we chase The nights we steal The things that we take to make us feel this (To the drums of the city rain)”

This is him and techno livin together!! Like in the first chorus you could see lights we chase being tommy finding techno’s place, then later it’s the lights of lmanberg as they sneak in. the nights they steal is both just time spent together and also straight up the times they stole shit JFKDSLJ. “the things that we take to make us feel” is the gapples tommy always eats so that he can feel safe (also, bc in the og song this is PROBABLY abt drugs and potions are drugs in universe so. Arguably getting a potion effect from the apple means it is Also Drugs? Fjdkslfj)

“I can't go back I don't think I will I won't sleep tonight as long as I still Hear the drums of the city rain”

Go back to logstedshire or lmanberg you ask?? The answer is yes. Both. He feels like he doesn’t belong in lmanberg and logstedshire is too traumatizing for him to return at this point. As long as he “hears the drums of the city rain”, or is thinking of dream, he Cant Sleep:tm:

“Does anyone have the guts to shut me up? 'Cause I believe that every night There's a chance we can walk away So hold on tight Because I won't wait too long In the drums of the beating rain”

Okay so hear me out but. This is just tommy and dream. “I believe that every night theres a chance we can walk away” is tommy hoping desperately for dream to let him go home, to walk away from logstedshire. He never will be permitted, not really, but theres a chance that tommy clings to. He wont “wait too long” while out in exile and stuck w dream bc hes desperate and miserable (also fun fact these analysis is basically me just pmv’ing shit in my head and rambling vaguely abt it but like. Listen,,,, flashback verse jfkdsljf) ALSO. The line “does anyone have the guts to shut me up” in relation to exile!tommy is just VERY important to me. Mans was so quiet and afraid to speak up when in exile.

“'Cause the nights don't last And we leave alone Will you drive me back? Can you take me home? (To the drums of the city rain)”

Following up that last paragraph, this is still in flashback. The days end and dream leaves again, making tommy alone. He asks if he can go back, if he can see home and lmanberg and everyone. But echoing the “to the drums of the city rain” after home CAN imply that “home” has become logstedshire WITH DREAM even tho it keeps him up and aaAAAAAHHHH

I swear this ends up okay and techno + tommy focused fjkdsljf

“Faces I don't know I am tired in the glow”

He feels isolated from everyone during his exile and lashes out at those who visit, to the point he feels like they’re all more or less strangers and “faces he doesn’t know”. Being tired in the glow is, imo, him over the lava.

“Of the freezing club Keep me breathing Don't make the lights come back Can you take me home? We all need this When we leave alone”

Hhhngg okay so tommy breakdown time! Hes in techno’s house (the freezing club) and is just pleading for techno to help. Don’t let “the lights come back” (lava again maybe? He doesn’t want to be Like This?) and just wants to feel like hes at home because hes just left exile and hes Messed Up Over It

“Remember when you and I would make things up? So many nights, just take me down To the place we can hear them play I miss that sound 'Cause now we don't sing so loud To the drums of the city rain”

OKAY SO THEY MAY NOT BE CANON FAMILY BUT WILBUR REMEMBERS SPARRING W TECHNO AS A KID AND PHIL IS HIS CLOSE FRIEND SO THEY STILL KNEW EACH OTHER AS KIDS SO SHUSH FJSDKL. Tommy just wants things to go back to how they were, before everything. When things were easy and they were kids just having fun. He misses it. Before exile, before lmanberg, before dream. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re stuck in this now. With his brother dead and his closest friend being the man who killed his best friend and helped blow up his country. Again, the drums of the city rain is dream. Because of his influence, its all different.

Hhhngngngn this is too long so I wont go into the last outro bc you can interpret it a LOT of ways, esp depending on how you want to Pace this song w the exile arc. But like. The analysis is THERE if you really wanna push it/animatic it babeyyy

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 

I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

[xxskycrystalxx]

Mystic Pop Up Bar Thoughts - Ep. 12 [FINAL]

SPOILERS AHEAD

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Ahh, the last episode of MPUB has aired, and I’ve finished it with a heavy heart, filled with emotions. The last episode has basically answered all the questions, theories, and hopes that we had, and ended the drama off as a masterpiece. I was going to right a full on review of MPUB, but I think my thoughts are enough review, so I’ll end off my last thoughts of MPUB with a small review.

In the beginning of ep.12 it gave us more insight on the sacred tree, and further solidified the fact that Kang Bae IS Weol-Joo & Chief Gwi’s child. I wanted to see a bit more of the sacred tree, but we get what we get. Anyways, the sacred tree is rlly powerful and gave Won-hyung a run for his money in like .0001 seconds, the sacred tree clapped back! After the confrontation with Won-hyung, Chief Gwi & Weol-Joo bring Kang Bae back to his house, and Weol-Joo drops the baby bomb on Chief Gwi. His reaction is definitely not surprising, and his emotions are called for. I mean imagine finding out that you did have a child with the person you loved, but stuff went sideways and basically realizing that they’ve been there the whole time. After realizing that they’re both the parents of Kang Bae, their parenting radar went up, becoming protective parents, parenting 101. Then, of course, Won-hyung comes to mess everything up and kidnaps Kang Bae, while the whole squad puffs up and is ready to rescue him. Yeo-Rin stepped up big time and was being a g, while Chief Gwi, cool as always, brought out his glave and wreaked havoc with it. Can I just say tho, Chief Gwi is serving them looks. Give Choi Won-Young an Oscar, cuz he did an absolute stellar job as Chief Gwi. Once again tho, the drama showed off some amazing CGI effects and choreography! The fight between Chief Gwi & all the possessed people, was cool to watch + the fight with Won-hyung, and of course, cue the catchy action themed music to make it all the more epic! He was just completely bad*** in this episode!

Then here comes the angst, like HEAVY angst. When Kang Bae was confronting Won-hyung we learn that he already knows that he is Weol-Joo & Chief Gwi’s child. I was a bit surprised at first that Kang Bae knew, but then he said he knew after he fainted and I realized that, that was the same for Chief Gwi’s mother. So it made sense. Then Won-hyung put him in the dream world so he would be able to exterminate him, while Chief Gwi & Weol-Joo are trying to protect Kang Bae from the outside, with Chief Gwi dying in the process. He’s done so much already, and here he goes getting impaled by his very own glave, protecting the ones he loves. Ouch. Uh like excuse me, I didn’t ask to be hurt like this. Out comes the waterworks. Then there’s that “I love you” confession before Chief Gwi died, and that hit HARD. Like I cried more on this scene than the other scenes I cried on. But srsly, you writers should’ve given them more happy moments together before they got ripped apart from each other and making us all sad over it 😞 He didn’t even say I love you back tho, what blasphemy!!!

Going into Kang Bae’s dreamworld, Won-hyung is pushing Kang Bae over the edge when mama Weol-Joo comes in, real pissed. I mean the man she loves just died in front of her, and her child’s life is being threatened, who wouldn’t? She tried to push Won-hyung down, but he got a grip on her and dragged her with him, not before Kang Bae managed to grab onto Weol-Joo’s hand. The way Kang Bae was just crying and finally said “mom,” well thanks for that arrow. Weol-Joo letting go and falling into the darkness was just messed up, and my heart broke for this separated family. 🥺😭

Then some time passed, Kang Bae still not over the fact that Chief Gwi & Weol-Joo is gone, but I’m glad Yeo-Rin was there to help him through it and provide comfort and love. I was really hoping for a happy ending for the three of them, and my wish was answered. Weol-Joo was back, and plot twist! It was her grudge that was solved, and was able to fulfill the 100,000 grudges quota, and honestly that was a good move, so good job writers! Yeomradaewang came through, and wanted to reward Weol-Joo with someone that a) took her punishment unconditionally & b) rescued her from the void/darkness. Can you guys guess who it is? MY BOI CHIEF GWI 🙌🏻 He comes in with a smile on his face and his arms open wide. The hug was the best reunion I could ask for, we don’t always need a kiss to make a couple/ship work or show how strong they are. The way they connect, work with one another, actions, and sacrifices is what proves their love for one another. Get a love story like this. Precious bby’s 💕 Also, this is just my way of interpreting how Chief Gwi was able to come back, but in the end, it talks about how the heavens can be moved by even little things, and honestly, I’m pretty sure all the self-sacrificing Chief Gwi did, was what changed their minds, and they were moved by his love and determination to keep his loved ones safe and being good to his promises.

Their reunion was so heartwarming to see, the way Chief Gwi & Weol-Joo look at Kang Bae, like the adorable and loving parents they are, and Kang Bae is like “I’m home.” Ugh, my heart 😣❤️ I cried a bit here too, but who wouldn’t am I right? 😂 It was a good and happy ending, that I’ll take, and I’m glad the writers were able to do these characters justice and bring about MPUB to what it was.

Btw, is it just me or did I not see this scene like anywhere in the last episode? I wonder if it’s a deleted scene or if I really just missed it in a blink of an eye, but Chief Gwi with those sunglasses... 😳 Just hits differently you know?

-

Anyways, wrapping up, MPUB was an overall amazing drama from start to finish. It had me engrossed from the first episode to the last episode, and the attachment I have with the three characters is saying a lot for me, since I don’t get attached as much. The only times I get attached to a drama and their characters is because I rlly rlly like it, and because I like it, it grows on me. The OST’s, cinematography, CGI effects, characters, story, and basically everything else was well done and crafted! The writers did an amazing job on the story, and being able to deliver plot twists and revelations that actually make sense, and for the actors and actresses that were able to make the drama for what it is. I mean, just spectacular performance to the main actors/actresses, especially Choi Won-Young! I’m really going to miss MPUB. It made me sad, happy, relieved, thoughtful, and surprised all at the same time. Chief Gwi & Weol-Joo is my fav couple at the moment, and them with Kang Bae is the most adorable and loving family ever, our found family/chaotic family trio. The only thing I’ll complain about is the fact that there was only 12 episodes. In all honesty, I rlly wouldn’t mind if there was a second season. I also wish they explored the sacred tree a bit more, and gave us a scene or two of Weol-Joo & Kang Bae finding out that Chief Gwi took her punishment instead, but that’s just me nitpicking out of an amazing drama. It was a wonderful journey to go through while watching MPUB, and I’m also thankful for the MPUB fandom. So very wholesome and filled with lovely people! Thanks to all who have read my thoughts and enjoyed my content! 💕

[enduringsea]

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet​ ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo  all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse  don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone  i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada  are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer 

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER... 

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

[mccnyoongi]

the yoongi thigh riding drabble 😫😫😫 sis ur tryna kill me alsooo i know u said ur trying not to go for the “riding yoongi in his studio chair” trope however i FULLY support indulging in this trope 😉 i rlly love ur writing tho omg 🥰

+ anon said:  hi im uh read your latest work and rEALLY LIKED IT so can i please request riding yoongi in his studio chair??? thanks if you would posts it!

+ another anon said: yoongi drabble, were where y / n and he have sex in his studio, pls?

hsfjksfh TWIST MY ARm why dont u !! (i told yall id do nasty soon) now i wanna write a multi-chaptered undergroundrapper!yoongi sjkfjsdf 

⇢ word count: 2K+ (lmao)

⇢ warnings: unprotected sex, dom!yoongi, starts SUPER soft then devolves into filth, undergroundrapper!yoongi bc ion like writing idol!au skdfjsdfk, degradation, yoongi’s hands

Yoongi’s passion has always been one of your favourite things about him- if he cares about something, he’ll give his all to it. Thankfully you fall under that category. The only question is whether you’re first or second on the list, constantly competing with his music.

With Yoongi garnering a fair amount of success from his life as an underground rapper, you understand why it’s starting to take over more and more of his life, you really do. You loved Yoongi, you loved his music. But you couldn’t help but start to… miss your boyfriend. A sad irony that you could miss the man who’s been, as of late, spending the majority of his time in his ‘studio,’ aka the spare room of your shared apartment that he said was about a quarter the size of a proper studio. 

How could you miss someone that was less than fifteen feet away from you, two doors away? You weren’t sure that it was possible until now, lying in bed, Yoongi’s side cold and the offensive red light of your bedside alarm clock telling you it’s far past the time your boyfriend promised he’d be in bed by. You sigh, sitting up, knowing that you wouldn’t get any sleep if you just sat there and stewed in your negativity. So instead you’d seek him out.

Thankfully there isn’t a lock on the door, he hasn’t gotten around to putting one in yet. You know the day will come soon, since last time your friends were over, Jungkook and Jimin had managed to sneak their way in, looking like guilty puppies when Yoongi had caught them. 

Lock or not, Yoongi didn’t even hear you, ears covered by his almost comically oversized headphones, his dyed blonde head bobbing to whatever beat he’s working on at the moment. You can’t help but smile fondly at the sight of your sweet boy so immersed in the thing he’s dedicated his life to.

He’s only made aware of your presence when you wrap your arms around his shoulders from behind. He finally takes those ridiculous headphones off, pausing the track and letting you rest your chin on the top of his head.

You look at the two monitors in front of him as though you have any idea what’s going on on the screens. “Hard at work, huh genius?”

You feel him cock his head under you and he hums gently, one of his large hands- something about him you first fell in love with when you saw it, pale and slender, gripping a microphone on stage- grabbing at yours. “Sorry,” He mumbles, and you can tell by the timber and the gruffness of his voice that he hasn’t spoken a word since he came into this room a couple of hours ago. “Lose track of time in this room. No windows.”

“S’okay Yoon. Just missed you is all.”

Your words are innocent but they tug at his heart and make him shut his eyes for a moment. He never wants to make you feel like second best, but the way he falls into things sometimes makes him forget that anything else exists in the world. But now he wants to be close to you, to touch you, to make it all up to you. 

“C’mere,” He’s tugging at the hand he has in his grip, and he keeps tugging until you’ve circled around his chair to stand in front of him. “Up on my lap, babe.” An offer you couldn’t refuse. So you don’t.

You’re straddling him now, well-toned but not overtly muscular thighs under you- a familiar and welcoming seat of yours. His warmth is comforting to you and vice versa. “I’ve been neglecting you, haven’t I?” You don’t want to say yes, afraid of hurting his feelings but the pout that graces your features gives it all away.

“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” One of his large hands comes up to cup your face, and he coos softly when you lean and nuzzle into his palm, as if he isn’t thinking of all the filthy and depraved things he’s been missing out on with you while he’s been cooped up in his studio. “‘M gonna make it up to you.”

And then his mouth is on yours, and you’re reminded why you love kissing Min Yoongi so much. He’s careful and intense, every movement backed by the same confidence and dominance he exudes when he’s on stage. It’s when you deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth, skilled and tactful, that you realize you weren’t just here for a quick visit.

“Yoongi,” You murmur as soon as he’s pulling back, detaching your mouths. You’re momentarily hypnotized by the string of spit that still connects the two of you, staring at it until it breaks. Yoongi notices this fascination of yours, and give you a smirk you regret ever confessing to him you find sexy. 

“Are you getting all desperate for me, silly girl? Hm?” You can’t help but rut your hips against his own at the words, loving the way they fall out of his mouth so lazily but with as much purpose as a presidential speech. “So needy ‘nd squirmy for me… Love seeing you so fucking desperate, you know.” His hands are travelling up your sleep shirt- aka an old band shirt of his that you had staked your claim over before the two of you had even moved in together.

His hands don’t go where more inexperienced ones might immediately go but instead traverse up and down your back, leaving delicious goosebumps in their wake. You shiver both from the feeling, and from the anticipation of what’s to come. You go to take your shirt off but are stopped by two hands circled around your wrists. “Patience,” Yoongi’s voice is next to your ear now, as he’s pulled you down using the grip he has on you. 

He’s made it clear that while you may be on top of him, he’s the one with control. And he’s fucking revelling in it, you can see it in the sparkle in his eyes as he lets go of your wrists. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you, I promise,” You trust him wholeheartedly, and communicate this with a nod. You know he understands when his hands slide down, under your shirt once more, this time staying far lower. 

“Soaking wet and I’ve barely even done anything,” He’s so cocky and you should be annoyed but you can’t find it in you, instead you feel yourself get even hotter at his words. “Panties off, little girl.”

His tone leaves no room for arguing, so you scramble to stand up and follow his demands, panties lost somewhere behind him. You go to get back onto your spot on his lap, missing it already, but are stopped once more by his hands. One is on your waist, holding you steady, only using a portion of its strength and the other is on your face, squishing your cheeks, opening your mouth and pushing your lips out obscenely. 

He looks like he’s still deciding what the hell to do with you, how hard to go. Then he’s cocking his head, brazen smirk back on his face as he pushes you down to your knees. The carpeting immediately makes the position uncomfortable as you feel it grating against the skin of your knees. But any discomfort is immediately quelled, or, at least, forgotten, at the sight and sound of Yoongi undoing his belt in front of you- any thoughts of your knees and carpet burn are replaced with the thoughts of Yoongi’s cock. He had that effect on you.

He chuckled at the look in your eyes, finally releasing himself from the confines of his jeans. He sighs at the release, cold air hitting his skin a shock to his rock hard dick. “Practically fucking drooling for this cock, aren’t you?” You nod earnestly and lean forward, towards his cock where his hand works over it lazily. He grabs a fistful of your hair with his other hand, withholding you from what you really want. “So fucking desperate, you slut. You wanna suck my cock so bad? You better do a good fucking job of it, convince me you deserve it in that slutty cunt of yours.”

You barely have time to think about how quickly he shifted from the sweet, loving Yoongi you normally know to this darker version of Yoongi, the one that comes out whenever he’s properly turned on before his hand that’s fisted in your hair is dragging you toward his achingly hard cock. You open your mouth, ready and willing, and mouth at his tip, letting your spit, your drool, collect and fall over it, dripping down the rest of his impressive length. You pull back to give the tip a gentle kiss, barely holding back a giggle when it jumps angrily at you

He breathes out heavily from his spot above you and yanks you back off his cock. “You wanna be a messy fucking tease? Fine. Open your mouth. Now,” You do as he says, not wanting to anger him further. 

He collects spit in his own mouth, and you're made to sit and wait patiently, hair a mess and mouth wide open. You don’t have to wait long until he spits into your mouth, the act so filthy, so dirty, you can only close your eyes and whimper, so turned on from it all that you can feel your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs. Messy. “Don’t swallow,” He doesn’t need to explain more as he leads you back to his cock.

You let the combination of your and his spit fall onto his cock, the act obscene but astoundingly erotic. You finally start to swallow down his length like you know he wants, your hands coming up to help. Both of his hands are in your hair now, entirely controlling your actions, the speed of which your sucking his cock.

He finally pushes you down as far as he can, your hands falling to his thighs. Your nose is against his stomach, tickled by the sparse amount of hair there. You can barely breathe from this position, but you take it if only for the groans you hear tumble out of his mouth. “Such a good girl, my best fucking slut,” You moan at the praise, the vibrations making his head fall back on his chair. There’s drool covering both him and your face now, tears welling at the corners of your eyes from the intensity, and every second you can feel yourself getting wetter.

His hands fall slack on your hair, but you don’t pull back just yet, instead, taking the opportunity to swallow around him once, twice, three times. He yanks you off of his cock, his breathing ragged and heavy. He looks at you with a half-lidded gaze. “Up.”

It’s only one word, but he doesn’t need anymore, not with a commanding tone like that. You get back on his lap, immediately calmed and comforted by the spot. He finally tears off the shirt, now wrinkled and covered in drool and precum. 

“Now fucking sit on it,” And you can hardly hold yourself back, eagerly lifting yourself up and positioning the head of his cock against your slick entrance. You let yourself fall, the whole of him filling you up perfectly, and so so good.

Yours and Yoongi’s groans mingle together in an unrivalled harmony, the two of you still for a moment as you bask in the feeling. “Being such a good fucking girl,” His hands work up and down your sides. “Now fuck yourself on my cock, and don’t you dare stop. Don’t stop until you full of my fucking cum, ‘till you’re my perfect, messy bitch.”

You start slowly, lifting yourself up until barely an inch is left in your pussy, and drop all the way back down. You continue like this, deep, strong strokes, slowly speeding up until your bouncing on his lap, the obscene sounds of the two of you filling the room, your very own symphony when combined with your groans.

“So good, baby, so fucking good, bouncing on my cock, gonna make such a fucking mess out of you, yeah?” He’s lifting his hips to meet yours, making every downstroke that much more intense. 

He lands a spank on your ass, then another, the sharp pain only serving to make you wetter and bounce on him harder. He chuckles in between moans. “You like that, huh? You’ll take anything I give you, ‘cause you’re my perfect little whore.”

You can feel the crescendo coming, building up like a tsunami. “Yoongi- Yoongi please, please, you have to let me come,” Any other time you’d have reservations about begging, but when it came to Yoongi, all pride was left at the door. “Need it.”

“I have to? I don’t have to do anything, whore,” His hand is back on your face, lips puckering out again. You nod in desperate agreement. He’s collecting spit in his mouth once more and you open your mouth wider in anticipation of what’s about to come. He spits in your mouth again, this time wanting you to swallow. It’s a dirty act, so vulgar, and you both groan at the site.

“You see that, slut? You swallow my spit, bounce on my cock and cum for me, all when I fucking tell you to? You understand?”“Yes, Yoongi I do, I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry, jus’ lemme cum.”

“Yeah, yeah, do it, fucking come for me.”

And cum you do, the feeling washing over you like nothing else, eyes closing and your head burrowing itself into Yoongi’s neck, the smell of his sweat comforting. You can hear Yoongi talking himself and you through your orgasms, but the words are too much for you to focus on. You can only feel his cum fill you up, already starting to spill out of you.

You’re both panting in the aftermath, his hands, once harsh, now softly caressing your back. The two of you are slick and sticky with sweat, but it’s the last thing on your minds.

“You still need to work on that song or are you finally gonna come to bed?”

“Please, neither of us are leaving that bed for the next 48 hours, besides to get the door for the take out we order.”

“Sounds perfect.”

[tiredbiostudent]

Hi! Could you maybe recommend some music, I keep listening to the same three songs and would love to find something new, doesn't have to be a specific genre. Also, you're blog is wonderful!

omg this is so sweet my heart is 🥺 rn but also, idk how much I can help because I also genuinely will listen to one song for an entire week straight and haven’t had a ton of time to find new music lately! but here’s some genre breakdowns of artists I love and some songs by them, or just individual tunes:

[edit: sorry this got insanely long!! I can maybe link spotify playlists if I ever get around to making some ‘:) but tl;dr my fave artists are frank ocean, sigrid, hozier, ben howard, cezinando, khalid, childish gambino, nas, lorde, the lumineers, rhcp, girl in red and travis scott]

1. guitar/rock indie-arcade fire: neighbourhood #3, the well and the lighthouse, we exist, afterlife, the suburbs, ready to start, SUBURBAN WAR!! (listen to the entire suburbs album if you want to feel rlly nostalgic about ur childhood)-ben howard (my favourite artist ever, I saw him live and it was phenomenal): rivers in your mouth, time is dancing, I forget where we were, only love, black flies, oats in the water, she treats me well, towing the line, follaton wood-rhcp (long time fave): under the bridge, by the way, californiacation, scar tissue, otherside, goodbye angels, dani California, snow (hey oh), tell me baby-city and colour (another old fave who I’ve also seen live and is amazing!! if you like hozier and the lumineers you’d like him, a bit of a less intense sound though): sleeping sickness, what makes a man, waiting…, constant knot, the golden state, killing time, wasted love, runaway, map of the world, blood, the grand optimist :’), northern wind, hello I’m in delaware-the scientist by coldplay.. if u haven’t been emo about this song since 2003 wyd-haven’t listened to her in forever but cosmic love by florence + the machine >>-girl in red (her music is great but her LYRICS r literally my soul): i wanna be your girlfriend, summer depression, i need to be alone, 4am, girls, say anything, bad idea, i’ll die anyway, we fell in love in october-harry styles: adore you, fine line, golden, sunflower vol. 6, sweet creature, lights up, to be so lonely, sign of the times, HIS COVER OF ULTRALIGHT BEAM-hozier (ANOTHER fave, fucking insane live too. sir ily): work song, in the woods somewhere, sedated, cherry wine, almost (sweet music) [song equivalent to a warm summer evening], movement !! holy f-, as it was, be, wasteland baby!-broken by lovelytheband-the lumineers (my guys!!!!): cleopatra, sleep on the floor, angela, long way from home, sick in the head, my eyes, white lie, donna, salt and the sea, slow it down, stubborn love-where’s my love by syml-mitski: washing machine heart, old friend, nobody, lonesome love-sam roberts band: bridge to nowhere, brother down, if you want it-saturn by sleeping at last-sufjan stevens: mystery of love, visions of Gideon (I don’t stan cmbyn but literally these two songs are the only thing I listened to from dec 2017 to feb 2018), the hidden river of my life, futile devices, Vesuvius-love will tear us apart cover by susanna and the magical orchestra-vance joy: mess is mine, Georgia, my kind of man, Saturday sun, we’re going home, lay it on me, take your time, I’m with you !!, like gold, crashing into you-remember when by wallows !!!

2. chill indie/pop-billie eilish: idontwannabeyouanymore, ilomilo, my strange addiction, bury a friend-cezinando (also my fave artist, and noen ganger is probs my fave album of all time): ingenting blir det samme men samme for meg, selv du, haper du har plass (if u can make it thru this song w/o crying on public transportation you are much stronger than I), tommolen pa vekta, er dette alt, usynlig-sigrid (the LOML and my other fave artist- seeing her live was the best day of my life no cap): dynamite, plot twist, fake friends, strangers,  don’t feel like crying, raw, focus, I don’t want to know, her cover of sex by the 1975 changed my life fr, mine right now, BASIC !!!!!, in vain, never mine [this is highkey bc I’m a bonafide sigrid stan but I cannot recommend her ENOUGH she has one of the most incredible voices ever, is an insanely talented songwriter, and her music is so hype and beautiful and yeah :’)]-khalid (I love his voice sm, also the ceo of vibes): bad luck, cold blooded, 8teen, my bad, better, hundred, Saturday nights, suncity-run by elsa and emilie-lorde (my bby): bravado, buzzcut season, the love club, the louvre, supercut, 400 lux, ribs, white teeth teens, a world alone-fy faen by hkeem & temur (have been listening to this song for 3 yrs straight no cap)-btstu by jai paul-8896 by lapsley-joji: slow dancing in the dark, will he-moon by kid francesoli-aloha by mome (another all time fave)-karpe diem: hvite menn som pusher 50, lett a vaere rebell i kjellerleiligheten din, gunerius, spis din syvende sans-astrid s: 2AM matoma remix (one of my fave songs ever tbh), hurts so good !!!, such a boy-myth by beachhouse -mgmt: kids, electric feel-nostalgi 3millioner by tomine harket & unge Ferrari -lykke li: sex money feelings die (did I listen to this song for 5 months straight last year? hm), I follow rivers-one direction (ofc): story of my life, 18, night changes, drag me down, literally all of Take Me Home which is unequivocally their best album I will take no criticism on that-berlin by ry x-dancing with a stranger by sam smith and normani-taylor swift (not rlly a fan but wowww some of her songs): call it what you want !!!!, false god, begin again, all you had to do was stay, clean-kamikaze by Susanne sundfor-tame impala: let it happen (the og and the soulwax remix), the less I know the better, gossip-head over heels by tears for fears-somebody else by the 1975 (apparently I was the only one who only discovered this song in 2019 but it’s like all I listened to from October-December)

3. rap & rnb-brockhampton: rental !!!, face, bleach, sweet-childish gambino: ii. zealots of stockholm, heartbeat, les, the “hardbone with a hard r” remix of bonfire and redbone drooooool-drake (yikes dude but ngl. chill bops): feel no ways, u with me?, hold on we’re going home, passionfruit, you and the 6-vince staples: bagbak, lift me up, norf norf-frank ocean (LOML frank I’d die for you. also my fave artist *proceeds to list his entire discography*): SEIGFRIED!!!!, songs 4 women, nights, chanel, ivy, thinkin bout you, sweet life, pyramids, lost, bad religion, pink matter, forrest gump, in my room, swim good, dust, american wedding, provider-jorja smith: blue lights, february 3rd, on your own-ransom by lil tecca-nas (fave to end all faves): take it in blood, represent, the message, halftime, affirmative action, street dreams, one love, hate me now, cherry wine, new world-mobb deep: hell on earth, survival of the fittest, party over, shook ones pt ii-travis scott: (astroworld is the only thing I listened to summer-fall 2018 no cap) astrothunder, coffee bean, Yosemite, butterfly effect, houstonfornication, skeletons, stop trying to be god, stargazing, highest in the room-kanye (don’t roast me for this): can’t tell me nothing, ultralight beam, fade, hold my liquor-drip too hard by lil baby-(all a product of tiktok) bop, toes, suge, panini remix by da baby-migos (lmao): notice me, slippery, pure water-walk man by tmg sfdjhfkdjfsdfs-go loko by YG-the weeknd: reminder, as you are, hurt you, privilege, tell your friends, starboy, sidewalks, high for this

(I also love old school rock music but haven’t listened to it much since highschool- my fave bands are led zeppelin, CCR, boston, fleetwood mac, pink floyd, blue oyster cult, styx, the who)

[bokdeongeori]

SEVENTEEN IDEAL CUT FAN ACCOUNT 180628/29/0701

So I went to IDEAL CUT on June 28th (”The Scene” All Units), June 29th (Hiphop Team Day), and July 1st (Performance Team Day) in Korea and I want to jot down all my memories and things that stood out to me! I couldn’t go to Vocal Team’s day because I had something else I had to do that day but I wish I could’ve! ;__; I’m going to sort it by day so that I can keep my thoughts organized but honestly this is everywhere because I have so many things to say.

180628 The Scene

This was my first day and understandably I was the MOST excited because I didn’t know what to expect. I managed to get seats on the 2nd floor so it was decently close! This is how close the extended stage was! 

It was POURING outside that day, but I remember feeling how unreal it was to be queuing in line AND watching Jeonghan and Vernon’s pre-concert Vlive right outside the venue. Usually I’m watching from like 2AM in my room, so it was unreal how close they were. Soggy shoes or not, I was so happy to be there. 

The first day, the first few songs were kinda a blur because I was just in pure shock. You know it’s about to start when they play the Thanks MV in full stereo and everybody is doing the fanchant (which I still can’t do lol), but then the VCR plays and we scream every time a member comes on screen (so we screamed a lot.) The first day, everything was new so I died at EVERYTHING lmao. There were so many VCRs and the visuals were out of this world. The lighting and effects in this concert was incredible, it made everything BIGGER and BETTER and the synchronized carat bongs flashing different colors was the most beautiful sight. 

First song was OT13 Highlight, then Thanks and they did this really cool dance breakdown in Thanks that I didn’t get to record because I was dying, seriously my heart was beating so fast. It was so unreal hearing their voices and SEEING the choreo I’ve watched millions of times over through a computer screen, I’m still in shock, it’s exactly as you imagine it. Perfect synchronization and always in tune, and their stamina is amazing. DK and Seungkwan were obviously the strongest singers but everybody held their own. I remember thinking how HIGH Seungkwan, Woozi, and Joshua’s voices were in the theater in comparison to how it sounded on recording, which is interesting because their voices are already high.  

Hoshi and Woozi did Bring It and I was like......what song is this??? BUT IT WAS SO LIT and the choreo is so badass. Hoshi’s stage presence is so commanding, probably the best out of all of them, but Dino is so charming and so is Vernon, but in a swaggy chill way, you know what I mean lol.....

FLOWER, the choreo is sooooooooooo good, I DEMAND A DANCE PRACTICE VIDEO TO DO IT JUSTICE. I was just screaming my head off and trying to pay attention so I didn’t miss anything. The formations.....CHAN U RLLY DID THAT LIL BUDDY!! Later on during the ment when they told us that Dino made the choreo all by himself he was all bashful about it and they kept making fun of him, but then Coups stopped them and praised him on how hard he worked and how stressed Dino was, and Wonwoo/Coups said it must’ve been hard for Chan to teach hyungs because they don’t listen well. AHHH CHAN ;___;

Then they performed NO FUN and CHUCK, which was so cool to see live and sing along. Then they did a long ment to introduce themselves. Hoshi really knows how to rile up a crowd. He comes to the front and we all chant “wangja-nim” (prince) and he LOOOOOVES that, then he asks “what time is it?” etc. u know the drill, BUT HE’S SO FUN and interactive in concert, HE’S JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE. I love Hoshi a bit more than I already did after Ideal Cut. Jun and Wonwoo were the more quiet ones but they were always whispering secrets, Wonwoo was always whispering to members next to him. Dino did this thing where he’s like “SAY HO!” “HOOOO” “SAY ____” “____” sorry I forgot but those kinds of little things were fun. Mingyu and Seungkwan were bickering as usual, I love them. Then they performed Run to You and everybody had mic stands. I loved seeing Vernon and Minghao air guitar with each other. 

Beautiful was a lot of fun because they ran everywhere and HOSHI WAS RIGHT THERE. Then leader line did Change Up AND I DIED BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE THIS SONG LIVE SO BAD. Hoshi was on that extended stage for so long we all tried to wave to him and he waved back looked at everyone, I love him. :(

Then Hiphop Team did Un Haeng Il Chi (me: died), and an unreleased song (me: died 2x) I think I blacked out like the entire second HHT song because it was new, all I heard was SKRRR SKRRR and Vernon’s MOSHI MOSHI and I was really dyinglmaodshlskhkd. Mingyu came up to the extended stage and we all Died. 

Then Vocal Team did Habit (rearranged) and Pinwheel, ugh my heart. They sounded so beautiful. This was when I noticed how high some of their voices really were. I can’t believe the first time I saw Pinwheel in full was LIVE. 

Then Performance Team did Swimming Fool, and there’s this one part where everything went in slow motion and they were doing funny/cute poses in the air, I love them so much. :(  AND JAM JAM. I GOT TO SEE JAM JAM, WITH THE8′s T-H-E-to-the-8 PART MY GOD.........and Jun doing Vernon’s rap part and the dance breakdown and the part at the end where they all do a freestyle. 

Then on to my favorite set, the cute bongbongs. I was dying of how cute they were because they all wore the Bongbong outfits exactly as Mingyu drew them on the washi washi tape they sold as merch. 

They performed Thinkin About You which was the CUTEST EVER. WONWOO WAS SO CUTE WITH HIS LIL PINK LAPTOP AND JEONGHAN WITH HIS MILK AND ANGEL WINGS AND PRINCE HOSHI AND SCOUPS WITH HIS LEADER FLAG AND EVERYONE FOLLOWING HIM LIKE LIL DUCKLINGS AND DINO MAKNAE ON TOP AND JUN WITH A CAT......GOD...... We all sang along to the “I’m thinking about you” part so much fun...

Then Mingyu, DK, and Jun did Hello, which was so cute and sweet. I think they threw their roses into the crowd, lucky carats! 

THEN, THEN..........I GOT TO SEE ROCKET WITH MY OWN EYES!!! You don’t know how badly I wanted to see Rocket, it was so much fun, the choreo was so cute and Joshua and Vernon utilized the entire stage. At the end they did a freestyle dance off, but the first day it was Vernon’s spotlight and the 2nd day it was Joshua’s. I believe they’ve would’ve switched off again but Vernon got injured by the 3rd day. :( Vernon was like “JOSHY JOSHHH!! GO JOSHY GO JOSHY GO GO WHOAAAAA” it was so much fun. 

THEN I GOT TO SEE MISS PRETTY U??? THE LEGEND?? Boo Seungkwan’s high note, that’s all. Then there was another VCR and they did the killer combo of Shining Diamond, Boom Boom (Remix), and ROCK. Mingyu was lying on the floor after they did that set lmao he was so tired. They did another ment and they ended with CLAP (remix). Then they showed a long interview video before the encore and I wish I understood more of what they were saying but basically saying how happy they were to be on stage and in SVT and how thankful they are for carats, etc. people in the crowd were sniffling. :’( 

Then the encore, they did Campfire and we held up our signs....I saw Verkwan in action and also Seokkwan because they were sitting next to each other. They did another ment to say their goodbyes and it was so cute because we were already “AWWW-ing” when it got to Hoshi and Joshua even though they hadn’t said anything yet lol. DK looked really touched but he was like....stop I’m not gonna cry, and he didn’t (At least not on the first day....)

Then they performed Healing (so many cute moments) and Very Nice, which they punk’d us by making us think it ended but it didn’t........like TWICE. And this time it worked because it was the first day. You know how everyone always uwuwuwus Woozi during Healing, well this time, Woozi went down a line and avoided them all but then he got to Wonwoo and PICKED HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS SLKdhflksdh don’t know if Woozi’s that strong or Wonwoo’s that skinny, probably both. DK always had a spotlight during Very Nice, he was so hype and funny. We all stood up for the last 2 songs and we were about to sit down after they took their bows but THEY STARTED SINGING AJU NICE AGAIN I WISHED IT WOULD NEVER END.  AHHH it was so much fun, I was so excited to go back the next day.  

180629 H Cut (Hiphop Team Day)

Alright so for Day 2, I’m gonna mostly talk about Hiphop team’s performances because the others were basically the same. Although the thing I really appreciate about SVT is that they realize there are many people who come to their concert more than once so they always change up little things in performances that you would only notice if you saw it before, it’s really the in the little details and they’re so good at that.  But I loved seeing everything again because once wasn’t enough and this time I actually had more of a bird’s eye view. Also, the things they talk about during ments change a little bit too, they always keep you entertained. Oh, and HHT’s parents/families were there too. Vernon was like during his ment, “I love you guys” :’) 

On HHT day, vocal unit still performed Pinwheel and Performance unit performed Jam Jam, but there was no Change Up. 

Hiphop team started out with with Un Haeng Il Chi and THIS TIME they went all out. There was a loooong table with backup dancers and it was so LIT, like at one point Coups got up on the table and walked down the table passing Vernon, Wonwoo, and Mingyu one at a time. I was so unprepared for what was gonna happen next, I expected like, Trauma and Check In BUT NO WE GOT FUCKISDGNDLHF SOLO STAGES. 

WONWOO. There was a female voice in his track so I didn’t know what was happening but then he appeared by himself and I was literally about to pass out. HE FINALLY GOT THE EMO RAP TRACK HE DESERVES. The song has Epik High vibes and he killed it, he really fits that style so well............I have a fancam but it’s honestly a mess bc I was dying so I can’t let u all see me like that. Oh and during the ment, they kept making fun of Wonwoo’s solo by imitating the girl’s part, (Hoshi did of course), yes I saw Soonwoo in action.

VERNON. His track so SOOOOO.....HIM. It’s has a summery chill hop vibe with Deep lyrics about finding himself YOU KNOW, VERNON STUFF, I love him. Did I mention Vernon has so much stage presence, it’s natural and it just oozes out of him. I HAVE A FANCAM OF HIM TOO. I realized they put his lyrics on the screen so I filmed that, and he mentioned that he requested they do that. Okay go off poet. 

MINGYU.......I was clutching my heart. Hiphop team went off but Mingyu, Mingyu finds his true calling. He sang his big heart out beautifully, a soft spring ballad, I was dying in my fancam of him too lmao GOD I’m so embarrassing. His song was so good, and I’m partial to ballads. In the ment they mentioned that Woozi made the song and Mingyu helped and he got scolded a lot....lol love it. At the end of the song he has this look on his face and I just......anyway...

S DOT COUPS. Oh my god, he did some magic trick where he was in a room with a glass window and someone shot the window then POOF he’s outside the room with a gun in his hand and I guess HE shot the window?? He freed himself?? Deep stuff. I think I heard Woozi’s voice in his track, but Mr. Coups went OFF and he was really h...ot, we don’t talk about it anymore. 

They they all show up again for the unrleased HHT track they performed the other day, which I got a better fancam of because I knew it was coming. The other performances were basically the same, I’m just glad I got to see them again. 

180701 P Cut (Performance Team Day, Final Day)

So again, same stuff so I’m mostly going to be talking about the solos and some ending stuff because this was the last day. It was so bittersweet. Honestly I was thisclose to crying because what kind of devil plans these events. 

I didn’t get any fancams of this day because I just wanted to enjoy it. Also, this was Vernon’s second day of having to sit in performances because of his ankle. I was so sad for him, so I screamed so loud for him every time he appeared. But the members were so sweet to him, like there was always someone there to keep him company when he had to sit on the main stage while everyone was running around. Like Coups or DK or Wonwoo, I love a family. :’(    

SO...DINO’S SOLO STAGE. DINO IS SOOOOOO CHARISMATIC, SO TINY BUT STAGE PRESENCE SO HUGE, AND HE’S THE BEST DANCER!!! LIKE THAT’S MY SON UP THERE!! Before the song began, he had his jacket hung up and he changed into a different jacket and we all screamed, then he danced his butt off to some autotuned EDM bop and of course paid tribute to MJ at the end. I was just screaming so loud, Chan makes me so proud, I rlly raised him. 

Then The8 performed his mixtape but in Korean, and his stage was sooooooo beautiful and relaxing. I’m glad he found his style because he really shined. He was sitting on swing and the backdrop was a crescent moon so it looked like he was sitting on the moon and the lyrics were to the right of the screen in the stars, gosh it was so beautiful. 

Then Jun performed a pop rock song in a sheer shirt which i didn’t even realize because I was so far away but you could definitely see.....everything...lmao. ANYWAY I’m so glad Jun found confidence on stage when he’s with carats because he ROCKED IT OUT THERE AND THE VOCALS WERE GOOD. #morelines4junnie

Then Hoshi, oh my god Hoshi. He really brought it all out with the sensual stuff, like he went full Taemin on us. He came to the middle stage and the lights came down staggered and he started dancing like “you. can. touch” the stadium went wild. The DANCE was really like.......sensual?? but like not overtly sexy like um...WHO, but really sensual and reminded me a lot of Taemin’s Move. Not like a copy, but like, inspired by it. And he had female backup dancers oh ho ho Mr. Hoshi. AND THE DANCE BREAKDOWN, there was a part when he bent backwards at the knee but he kept going down step by step, it was so cool, I was screaming my head off. 

The rest was basically the same with an added aju nice, but Hoshi kept HINTING that we had to stay until the end, ok we see you. Oh, and on the last day, DINO, DK, AND JUN CRIED. My heart really couldn’t take it. SEEING DK IN TEARS GETS ME EVERY TIME, JUN TEARING UP AFTER SAYING HE FEELS SECURE IF MEMBERS AND CARATS ARE WITH HIM, AND DINO ALWAYS BEING STRONG BUT FINALLY BREAKING DOWN AFTER MEMBERS SAID HE DID WELL.............i’m crying right now.  

God I love them so much, you could really feel the sincerity, like they LOVE IT on stage and they love performing at concerts so much, and they say we make them so happy but do they know they make us so happy ;__________; 

And they played the teaser you all saw on youtube at the end of the concert after they exited the stage. All in all, I lived my best carat life and I have no regrets and my love for them grew infinitely, which I didn’t even know was possible. The only thing is that I have terrible post-concert depression after 3 days and I miss them so much now. Like I woke the the morning after the last concert and saw Hoshi on Vlive chat and...........

 .....tears. See why is he so happy? Anyway thanks for reading my long fan account if u made it to the end, amazing. I hope I see them again someday and I can’t wait for the comeback!!!! 

[najatheangel]

hello! Is it okay to request a written ship for the NCT units? If not feel free to delete this! Thank you so much!

I’m an INFJ, my Hogwarts house is ravenclaw. I’m spiritual, passionate, sensual and astrology as well as tarot are one of my biggest passions. I’m also very creative and love to draw, paint, write, sing, etc. I’m sensitive, caring and empathetic, I attract all kind of people (even the ones I don’t want to). My career is really really important to me (being successful at it that is), I like to be independent (especially financially) and work hard, but I’m also diplomatic and really desire to form a team/union with my partner. I have my values set straight, I’m idealistic and know what I want, I like to have fun, talk, be goofy and laugh (memes = life) and see the magic and beauty in life (a bit fairy like) but at the same time I’m deep and very serious about my morals and boundaries (I’m either a paradox or the best of both worlds asdfghjkl jk jk). I’m very trusting, loyal and forgiving when it comes to the people I consider family. I’m also very nature obsessed and rlly rlly love animals!!! people might call me weird or eccentric because of what I like and sometimes because of the way I dress but personally I think I’m fairly normal 😅 Btw, if you take astrology into consideration these are my personal planets; cancer sun, Scorpio moon, Virgo rising, cancer mercury, Leo Venus, libra Mars!! Sorry for spamming, take care!

Hello cutie anon, thanks so much for requesting and telling me about yourself. We suprisingly have a lot of similarities hehe. No worries for spamming, it’s all good. Here’s your ship lovely...😉

From NCT 127, I ship you with...Taeyong

Positive Side: You both would build the perfect relationship and empire together. Although your hogwart houses are different, they can still unite and work together pretty well. I might be wrong, but Taeyong honestly gives me hufflepuff vibes and as a hufflepuff myself, you can tell Taeyong works hard to get what he wants and loyalty is his number one thing when it comes to building any relationship with someone whether romantic or platonic just like you. He also appreciate your creativity and how you establish your talent for singing, drawing, all that would make him encourage you to share your work for everyone to see, even if the pieces were incomplete just sharing your process alone made him proud. He would even try to get sm to incorporate your designs for Nct 127’s next album cover and merch. Outside of your careers, your both very adorable and goofy together playing animal crossing together, sending each other the funniest memes and buying each other 20+ stuffed animals. When he’s off on tour or trace doing promotions, he trusts you to watch the dorm keeping his room clean, tidying up the house and let’s you spend the night with him when he comes back from work. The 127 squad would lovee how much you cater to Taeyong and help him get through his tough phases as the mother of 23 members, leader of 127 and performing month after month barely getting any breaks.

Negative Side: Most days, the forecast is sunny between you two. Other days, they can get gloomy. As mentioned earlier, Taeyong is the kind of man that’s very sweet, patient and strong, but sometimes his mental state is not in the best state. With him being a cancer, they not only can get emotionally sensitive because of how much stress, pain and suffering he holds inside from his job, the media and the pressure of keeping that perfect idol image. Whenever you offer to help him or ask him if there’s anything you can do, he would push you away so he wouldn’t feel like a burden to you and don’t want to come across being weak infront of you.

But...: He’s also someone just like you that needs time to himself, but also needs that affection and support from his loved one. Your one of the people that can give him that reassurance he needs and reminds him every day that he has to pull himself together for his fans, members and family. When he has his bad days, you make sure to sing his favorite song to him while caressing his head and giving him tiny soft pepper kisses on his face which lights his world up everytime. When your having your bad days, he’s the first to run to you and hug you tight letting you scream, cry of rant until you’ve released all those emotions outside your body.

I miss taeyongie so much. Get better soon my angel😭😭💚💚

From Nct Dream, I ship you with...Renjun

Positive Side: Another life partner in the long run. I’m seriously getting soul mate energy here. First of all, your similarities, hobbies and passions match to a tea. Renjun would want someone that would understand how much his job as a idol means the world to him and the fact that your one of the people that wanted to get close to him as a person instead of getting close to him for the fame. He’s also every empathetic just like you when it comes to you trying to achieve your goals independently and your morals he would be gentleman and wouldn’t do anything you weren’t comfortable with. While he’s still young, he would love have his fun with you by relaxing by painting heart sculptures in his room and exchanging them to keep on your selfs for memories. When your out, most of the time he drags you along with the dreamies to thier crazy adventures, but you don’t mind being chaotic with them. Renjun also seems like someone who doesn’t care about apperance that much so he wouldn’t feel ashamed at all having you beside him on red carpet. The thing that he loved the most about you was how passion and your bright personality that makes everyone in the room face light up. Just like Taeyong, we would want someone that he can trust with his secrets, problems and personal belongings which he can depend on you for that. Overall this relationship can last a lifetime whether friendship or romantic, the bond is unbreakable.

Negative Side: When you both started dating, it was hard to balance your work life’s and relationship. Obviously that’s going to happen because of your schedules, it was hard to stay consistent in the relationship. For example, you both used to text or facetime everyday, but then that turned to once a week when a big event is coming up. Another example is when you both have to cancel dates on weekends, because of work or family emergencies. This almost led to you breaking up at some point and it was frustrating to deal with. This is when he starts being hard on himself because he wishes he can be with you all the time, but he knows he can’t do that.

But...: Once you guys have decided to meet up one more time to have a what you call a couple intervention, you both decide to stay together and stay in contact every chance you can because you both love each other too much to let each other go. After that heart to heart moment with Renjun, the dreamies was so happy when you two walked out of his room together screaming, cheering and crying. They loved how you two compliment each other and would be devastated if you both broke up so to celebrate everyone had a karaoke night and sleepover at the dorm. Way V members even crashed the party and was happy for the beautiful couple reuniting. The night ended when you and renjun shared the most romantic beautiful kiss under the moonlight on the rooftop.

Okay but this Renjun thooo be fine asf under red lighting. 👀❤️❤️

From Way V, I ship you with...Ten

Positive Side: Two creative minds that fall in love. When Ten first meet you, he loves the way you sing, laugh when he tells you jokes, cried when you missed him and how you get excited every time you see polar bears at the zoo. He took note of all of your facial expressions, what you liked what you didn’t like, he wanted to to discover every side of you. What led him to completely fall for you was your family oriented traits. The way you know how to properly take care of people around you, your ability to give good advice to someone who’s going through a tough time and how successful you can be as a strong independent woman. As far as talents, your both on the same area as far as singing and drawing. I can imagine ten trying to teach you his choreography so you both one day can perform together on stage. He would be teasing you if you would mess up in between, but would get shy and blush over how cute you are making your little mistakes. Once the day come, sm allowed you and Ten to release a single together called Waiting for love which describes your relationship together, but the fans didn’t know that ;) Overall you two would be the perfect business partners and lovers together which everyone would support.

Negative Side: The fact that you two are so similar, it can sometimes be hard to handle. You both have high expectations of each other and it’s rare that you have arguments. Once the other person made a mistake, it’s hard to find that trust or recover from the disappointment. The mistakes that usually happen are if someone hides an accomplishment from the other person or when they’re not spending enough time with them. It’s small issues like that effects the dynamic of the relationship.

But...: Your both very forgiving and have faith in each other. Your both easily persuaded by each other’s presence alone so the arguments don’t drag out too long. It’s back to the normal routine where you to live your fantasy married life together cuddling with Leon, Bella and Louis. “Honey let’s go to the art gallery together and then buy some slushies!” You walk up to him tapping the top of his nose. “Yes baby I’m on my way. Let me take care of these idiots first.” Glaring at baby yang yang and Lucas who’s laughing at his cute voice. He proceeds to run after them leaving you giggling adorabley watching them.

Out of everyone, I ship you with...Taeyong

Thanks so much for requesting lovely anon and I appreciate your patience. Have a nice day/night. 🌷🌷