#it highkey makes sense and doesn't at the same time

[totally-not-niyah]

A Princess and a Pirate

A/N: This lil thing makes sense but also kinda doesn't? Uh- I was working on this many months apart so I probably forgot some stuff and had to come up with a lil sumn to replace but I think overall, the plot is pretty easy to follow...? IDK, ANYWAYS ENJOY-

Pairing: Harry Hook x Reader Word Count: 5k Warnings: refers to intentional harm? idk if that counts; OH! I usually write Harry with his accent, so that's why his dialogue may look weird, and then highkey a warning for this plot!

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Ever since the barrier on the Isle had come down, inviting all the VKs to the wonderful kingdom of Auradon, things were changing around here. 

You had to admit, it was interesting and fun to see new people getting to experience what Auradon had to offer for the very first time, and meeting all of the Isle kids was pretty enjoyable.

Especially a certain group of pirates. 

You had heard about Uma and her crew through your sister, Audrey, who essentially heard about them through all of Mal’s prior ramblings about her, but you never got the chance to see her in person during the Cotillion, since you went off with Chad right before it started to pick your sister up from the Fairy Cottage. 

However, now that her and her crewmates were here and settling down in the land, you found yourself running into them around the school grounds, and frankly, you had quite a fascination. 

Specifically, a fascination with Harry Hook, Uma’s first mate. 

There was something about the son of Captain Hook that was just so…enticing. His eyes, his hair, his voice. The crazy thing is, you’d never exchanged words with him. Like, ever. Yet somehow, what started off as an innocent fascination turned into a full-blown crush.

Unfortunately, though, not everyone was as…open and welcoming to the new VKs as you were. 

There were still some royals and nobles (including your grandmother, Queen Leah) who felt that people like them didn’t belong in Auradon. To top it off, you were friends with one of them. 

For instance, Jania, who was the daughter of one of the men on Ben’s council, made constant little jabs and comments at the new arrivals, showing you a whole different side of her. 

“I give it a couple more weeks before they go and screw something up around here,” she mumbled as the two of you were walking from a class. 

“Well, they’re bound to make a mistake, Nia. They just got here,” you replied, confused to where the conversation was coming from all of a sudden. “They’re still learning the ropes.”

Jania rolls her eyes. “Yeah, right. You really think they’ll stay out of trouble?”

“You had trouble when you first started too, remember?” 

“At least I actually belonged here.”

You frowned a bit at the insinuation. “That’s not fair.”

“Whatever,” she scoffs. “ I’ll be back. Don’t go anywhere.” 

You do just that, seeing as you were right beside your locker, anyways. When she’s out of eyesight, you turn your body, letting out a gasp as you accidentally bump into someone and stumble. If it weren’t for them grasping your arms to steady you, you probably would’ve been on the floor. 

“Oh!” you stammer with wide eyes, immediately forming an apology on the tip of your tongue. “I’m so sorry!”

When you actually register who it was you bumped into, your eyes widen some more. 

It was Harry. 

“Aye, no worries, lass,” he says, amusement dancing in his bright blue eyes. “Yeh got some quick reflexes.” 

You laugh a bit, a mixture of both nerves and awkwardness, because how could you possibly fumble that bad? Eyes darting around a bit, you look for something to say, before realizing that there was a hook wrapped around one of your arms instead of his other hand that was holding you up. 

“I, uh… I like your hook. It’s very…shiny.” 

Harry tilts his head, a grin playing on his lips. “Thank yeh? No one’s ever said that ta me before.”

“Yeah,” you force another weird laugh as he straightens your body back up, giving him little finger guns. “And thank you for catching me.”

Not even a full five seconds later and you cringe. Why am I so lame about this? 

Instead of making an even bigger fool outta yourself, you purse your lips and quickly crouch down to pick up the books you dropped. The boy above you keeps his eyes trained on you, gaze flitting to the front of the notebook you now held. 

“Yer name is (y/n)?” he asks, examining the personalized decoration of the notebook that included your name. 

“Yep,” you nod, rocking back and forth. “You’re Harry, right? Uma’s friend?”

“Tha’s right,” he smiles, giving you a dramatic bow that just fits him for some reason, your brain concludes. “A pleasure ta meet yah.”

Matching his energy, you offer a polite curtsy. “And you as well.”

The two of you are staring at each other with little smiles before the sound of footsteps break the moment. You turn around, finding that Jania had returned, and she was currently eyeing Harry with a hateful gaze. 

“Hey, pirate boy,” she sneers, yanking one of your hands into hers. “Go and terrorize someone else, my friend doesn’t wanna talk to you.”

“Wha- hey, no, Nia, don’t-!” your confused protests fall on deaf ears as she continues to drag you away with her, and all you can do is look back and mouth an “I’m sorry” to Harry before you turn a corner. 

“I can’t believe you were talking to that guy, (y/n)!” She hisses. “Didn’t we just have a conversation about this?”

“What are you so worked up for?” you murmur, trying to regain your footing because it feels like she’s dragging you away even faster. “You saw him, he’s nice, he has a sweet smile, he wasn’t terrorizing anyone-!” 

“Are you even listening to yourself?!” Jania stops abruptly just so she can give you a stare full of disbelief and disapproval. “Those villain kids aren’t out for anything but themselves. I mean, just look at Mal. She’s going to be Queen now. And look what that did to your sister!” 

“Don’t bring Audrey into this,” you frowned, getting defensive over the fact that she was speaking your sister’s name in a conversation she didn’t even need to be a part of. “And please stop talking like that. You sound like my grandma.” 

“Well, maybe you should start listening to her for once,” she mutters under her breath. “Just stay away from them, alright?” 

That didn’t happen. 

Ever since that day, it was like the two of you kept on running into each other. Not that you were complaining. In fact, it was further fueling your attraction towards Harry. Whenever the two of you saw each other, you’d stop to say hi, maybe even have a brief conversation. And of course, you’d always hear Jania’s mouth about it, but it’s not like she could control your actions. 

One day, sometime during lunch, Harry spotted you sitting alone at a table, and decided to make his way over to you. 

“All by yerself?” He asks, grabbing your attention. 

“No,” you told him with a smile, sitting down your phone and sitting upright. “I’m waiting on someone. But you can sit till she gets here. If you wanna.”

He gladly accepts the offer, taking a seat next to you. 

“Let me guess, th’ one tha’ hates my guts?” 

Even though the look on his face shows that he’s only joking, you can’t help but feel sheepish. 

“Right,” you sigh. “I’m really sorry about that. She’s just a little…hard to soften up.”

“Are yeh bein’ nice about it?” he smirks. 

“…‘Lil bit.” The two of you share a laugh for a few seconds. “But to answer your question, no. I’m waiting for my sister.” 

His eyebrows lift slightly. “Yeh have a sister?” 

“Yeah,” you nod. “Audrey.” The realization clicks in Harry’s mind. 

“Aw, yer a Beauty kid~” he coos, resting his chin in the palm of one of his hands. “I ‘ave sisters too, actually.” 

“Really?” 

And so from there, he begins to delve into random tales with him and his sisters, even describing them for you so that you’ll know who they are if they ever pass by you around school. The stories have you so interested that you forget that your sister was supposed to be there until she actually showed up with both your lunches. 

She takes the spot next to you after Harry leaves you alone with her, waiting for a little while before speaking. 

“You like him, don’t you?”

The topic almost makes you choke on your food. 

“Hm?” 

“You. Like. Him,” she emphasizes, flicking you in the shoulder. 

“Where’d you get that idea?” You scoff. 

“Are you serious? As soon as I walked over here, you were just staring at him like-” she copies your attentive gaze, batting her lashes for dramatic effect. 

Rolling your eyes, you deny her claim, “ I didn’t even do all that.”

“But you do like him, right? You never said no.”

“I never said yes, either,” you retort. 

“You totally do, though,” she giggles. “I'm your sister. You can’t lie to me. I know these things.”

With a groan, you shake your head. “Fine. A little bit, yes.”

“A little?” 

“That’s all you’re getting,” you tell her, pushing her back with a laugh when she leans closer to you. “Get outta my face, Audrey!” 

=

Getting closer to Harry was fun. 

You found yourself constantly seeking him out, whether in school or in certain social settings, holding longer conversations with and getting to hang around both groups of friends with him, both yours and his. 

A favorite memory of yours in particular was when he sought you out after the sunset upon Auradon, so that you could join him in stargazing. 

“Yeh know, I’ve never actually really seen the stars before,” he comments as he sits beside you on the soft grass. 

“Really?” You said with surprise, to which he nodded. 

“It was a big dark cloud above the sky. Not much ta see like tha’.” 

“…Huh. And now that you can see them? What do you think of them?” 

He takes a moment to think before responding. “They’re…a lot brighter from ‘ere. Ye can even see the light reflecting off the lake.” 

“Uh-huh,” you nodded, noting how the sparkling dots of light twinkle in the water of the lake. You lean over a bit, getting a closer look when, all of a sudden, you feel water splash your side, making eye contact with a grinning Harry. 

“Hey!” Splashing him back, you watch him practically run away from the water, giggling along with you as a back and forth water war was waged. 

Once the two of you settled down, you started a game of creating your own constellations in the night sky, occasionally arguing about what they did and didn’t look like. As much as you would’ve liked to stay like that all night, the time of student curfew was approaching. 

“Thanks for this,” you said, smiling at him. “I had a lot of fun.” 

“Yeh don’ have ta thank me,” he replies, draping your sweater over your shoulders since it was getting cooler out. “I…like yer company.” 

“…I like your company, too.”

You’re gazing into his eyes, and he into yours. You can feel the way you both lean in, ever so closer to each other, until your faces are remotely close. Just when you feel the urge to make a move and go for it, you hear the clock chime, signaling that it was time to go. 

Pulling away slowly, you let out a soft exhale before smiling again, clutching the front of your sweater. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you murmurs. “Night, Harry.” 

“…G’night, darlin’,” he bids before you go your separate ways. 

The entire way back to your dorm, you’re grinning so hard your cheeks start to hurt. Even your sister and friend notice as they peep your giddy demeanor when you walk in. 

“Aahhhh, someone’s date went well~” Audrey squealed, clapping her hands. Jania was sitting beside her, dead silent but attentive. 

“It wasn’t a date, Audrey,” you chuckled, putting away your things. 

“That’s your opinion, anyways! Was it nice? Did you have fun? Did you two kiss?”

”Slow your roll! Yes, it was nice. Yes, I had fun. And we…almost kissed?” 

You can see the way her eyes light up, clearly invested in your first romantic experience. Jania, on the other hand, finally decides to say something. 

“Wait, wait, so this little thing of yours is getting serious?” 

“Uh…yes?” You say, unsure if that was even the right answer. Probably not. “No? Ugh, I dunno…he’s so sweet, you guys, and I really, really like him, but maybe I’m reading into this too much-?” 

“Better enjoy it while it lasts,” she mutters, getting up to go and lay in her own bed. 

Her words catch you off guard. “Huh? What does that mean?” 

“Nothing at all. Good night.” 

Both you and Audrey look at each other, not understanding what just happened, but shrug it off as she pats the spot across from her so that you can tell her everything that’s occurred during your time with Harry. 

The following morning, when you wake up, the first thing you notice is that it was only your sister in there with you, who was curling her hair in the vanity mirror. 

“…Where’s Nia?” You inquire, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. 

She looks your way, then towards Jania’s bed. 

“I have no idea,” she says thoughtfully. “She just said that she was getting an early start on the day.” 

You scrunch your face up. “That doesn’t sound like her at all, but hey, what do I know?” Yawning, you plop back down, trying to see if you could squeeze in another 15 minutes of sleep. 

=

During your first passing period, you’d taken Harry along with you to go see Ben in his office. Neither of you had addressed nor even slightly mentioned what happened last night, just going on as if it never happened. Which was good, because you didn’t think you could handle the awkwardness of a “hey, did we almost kiss?” conversation. 

You knock on the door, waiting for the green light before walking inside. 

“Hey, Ben,” you greet, placing a pamphlet down on his desk. “Someone dropped this off for you today.” 

“Oh, thank you,” he says, glancing up at you and doing a double take when he sees who’s accompanying you. “Did, uh, did you need something too, Harry?”

He shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m jus’ here f’her.” 

Your eyes drift over to a tray sitting on one of the spare tables. 

“Ooo, candied apples?”

“Yeah, someone dropped them off earlier,” he responds. “I didn’t get a chance to see who it was.” 

“Mm.” You were too distracted with the one you’d already picked up. 

“Hey! How do you always get into my stuff before I can?” 

“You weren’t even gonna eat these.”

”Maybe I was,” he retorted, and although you didn’t believe that because he almost never ate the treats that people would drop off for him (not because he didn’t like them, there would literally just be so many), you decided to play along anyways. 

“Fine, fine,” you sighed, looking down at the tray to examine all of them before picking one up from the middle, passing it to them. “Here, this one’s more red than the others. I think it’s more candy coating on it or something.” 

Ben laughs before tapping his apple against yours and taking a large bite out of it. 

“Harry, d’you want one?” You pick up another apple and offer it to him, but he declines your offer. 

“I don’t like those things,” he tells you. 

“Who doesn’t like candied apples?” Ben asks, happily chowing down on his. “They’re so good.” 

“No, the best kind are the ones they dip in caramel and peanuts,” you add, taking a small bite out of your own. “You have to try one of those.” 

“Oh, yeah, those-” Out of the blue, Ben just stops talking. You focus your eyes back on him, brows furrowed in confusion. 

“…What? What happened?” He shakes his head, trying to readjust himself. 

“Uh, nothing- sorry,” he says, but his words and movements are getting slower and slower. “I…don’t know what happened, I just…”

”Ben…?” You say, eyes soon widening in horror when his roll back and flutter shut, causing him to fall out of his chair. 

“Ben!!” Rushing over, you catch him just before his head hits the ground, patting his cheek to get him to regain consciousness. “Ben!!” 

Harry knelt down at your side, mouth agape because he’s just as confused as you as to what happened to the young king just that fast, but neither of you know what to do. 

“Somebody help!!” 

=

“And you’re sure that’s all that happened?”

“Yeah!” you told Belle, hands clasped together as you saw your friend lying unconscious. “H-he just ate the apple and then passed out.” 

When help finally came, Fairy Godmother was called, along with Ben’s parents, and close friends who were alerted like Audrey and Jania. Mal and her friends were in the middle of something when she was called, so she was rushing to get here now. 

Harry had stuck by your side the entire time, rubbing your shoulder comfortingly as you were now starting to panic. 

“May I see the apple?” Fairy Godmother asks. “Did you bring it?” 

“Yeah.” You reach into your bag, pulling out the apple by the stick it was secured upon, unraveling it from the napkin and passing it to her. 

She examines it thoroughly, turning it in all directions to search for anything out of the ordinary. “All the apples looked like this?” 

“...For the most part,” you murmur. “That one was a little darker than the others. It’s why I picked it out. I figured maybe it had more candy coating on it than the others.” 

Pursing her lips, she gives you a solemn look. 

“This apple was enchanted. It’s laced with a sleeping curse.”

Your eyes widen, the feeling of your stomach dropping almost making you stagger. 

“Oh, god,” you whispered, covering your mouth with your hands. “I fed Ben a poison apple, oh my god…”

“Easy, lass,” Harry said softly, gripping your shoulders. “It wasn’t yer fault.” 

“Yeah, (y/n), he’s right,” your sister agrees. “You couldn’t have known. Your intentions were good when you gave it to him.” 

“Were they?” Jania’s words have you looking over at her. “You deliberately picked out that apple, (y/n). Are you sure you didn’t have a trick up your sleeve?” 

“Wha… Jania, what are you talking about? I would never do something like that to Ben! He’s like a brother to me!” 

“Maybe then,” she argues. “But things can change after you start spending all your time with Auradon’s newest group of troublemakers.” 

You  furrow your brows just a bit, because you begin to see exactly where this is going. 

“Nia, they had nothing to do with this,” you state firmly, pointing to Harry, who seemed a little uncomfortable with the accusation. “He had nothing to do with this! Will you get that out of your head?”

“How do you expect me to?! He’s the only one out of the three of you that didn’t eat an apple!”

“Because he doesn’t like them! If I gave you something you didn’t like and you told me you didn’t wanna eat it, would that make you suspicious?” 

“This is different!” Jania insists, standing up from her chair. “You know villain kids have a track record with poison apples. He’s the perfect suspect!”

“When ‘ave yeh ever seen me touch an apple?” Harry asks, perplexed by the words coming out of her mouth. 

“It doesn’t matter! You know it’s true!”

“Okay,” you say frustratedly. “Let’s say maybe that is true. Why would Harry try poisoning Ben?”

“I don’t know! A power trick? God, Ben wasn’t even supposed to get to the stupid apple!”

“Oh, really? Why not?”

“Because you were supposed to eat it!!”

The outburst puts everyone’s actions on pause, struggling to grip onto what had just been said. 

When sense reforms in your mind, all you can work out is a small, “…Excuse me?”

Even now, Jania looks shocked by what’s come out of her mouth, covering it promptly as her eyes dart between each one in the room. 

“What did you just say?”

“I- nothing- I didn’t mean-” she stammers, shaking her head as she takes a small step back. ”I didn’t mean for that to come out.”

“No,” your sister stands as well, her suspicions beginning to rise as yours did. “But you sure meant for this to happen. And to my sister?”

“Aud, listen- I was only trying to help-” 

It’s obvious that the young girl is becoming anxious, fumbling to try and find a proper response. 

“It all makes sense,” you mumbled, mulling over her strange behavior in the past few days. She’d let go of your association with Harry for the most part, but you hadn’t thought anything of it, assuming she’d finally had enough of berating you over it. 

But now things have become clearer. 

The oddly vagueness of her words last night, when she said “enjoy it while it lasts,” the unusual morning disappearance, and the fact that she was more concerned with pinning the blame on Harry than she was about Ben’s unexpected state. 

Because it wasn’t unexpected. She had planned this all along. 

“You knew that I would try to get to them first,” you continued on as you looked at the one you thought was your friend. “And that I would’ve probably picked that exact apple. You wanted me to eat it so that you could find a way to make it seem like Harry was the one who did it. Didn’t you?” 

Her eyes widened, astounded that you had figured out every inch of her plan.  

You feel Harry’s grip tighten slightly on your shoulders, and when you glanced up, he seemed pretty agitated at the revelation. 

“...Yeh tried ta poison her? Just ta set me up?” 

“Yeah, okay!” Jania finally confesses. “It may seem bad to you, but-”

Audrey’s about had enough of it already. “Don’t start trying to make excuses! You tried to put my sister’s life in danger, and all for what? Because you have some unspoken grudge against someone she’s in love with?”

Woah. Pause. 

“I- Audrey,” you whisper, trying to get her to retract that statement in an instant. However, she’s too concerned with getting on Jania’s case, so you can only pray and hope everyone else was also too distracted to hear what was just said. 

Especially Harry.

“I made a cure!” Jania tries to defend herself. “She wouldn’t have been asleep forever, she would have woken up eventually-” 

“Eventually?!” 

“Oh, god,” you hold a hand to your mouth for a second, unable to find anything that could help stop the argument before it escalates any further. 

Even though, truthfully, you didn’t want to. Jania got herself into this mess. She deserves more than being yelled at, another person’s life was at stake here. 

“Don’t you know that cures to sleeping curses have never actually worked?” Your sister continues. “Ever! Your silly little ‘cure’ would’ve failed, and then what? Then my sister would have been cursed for who knows how long!” 

“No! No, it wouldn’t- why are you so mad? I- I was only trying to help!” 

At that point, you step forward, too. “Help? I never needed help, Jania. You keep saying how- how the villain kids shouldn’t be trusted, but you were willing to risk my life and ruin someone else’s to prove a point. And rather than worrying about if Ben was actually gonna be okay, you keep overlooking it like it doesn’t even matter!”

You look at the adults in the room, knowing they would have much to say as well. Ben’s father notices your eyes, clearing his throat. 

“There will be consequences,” he says. “This was both an act of injustice and carelessness. It will be handled accordingly.”

Jania keeps her head hung low, knowing there was nothing she could do or say to shy away from the consequences of her actions. 

“As for you, Harry, we’re terribly sorry about this incident. If there’s anything we can do to make up for it, please let us know.”

The boy nods, and right as the statement is made, Mal comes rushing through the doors, followed by all her friends. 

=

Two weeks have passed since then, and everything has been cleared up. 

Jania had been suspended for 4 weeks, a week for Ben’s endangerment, a week for your intended endangerment, a week for attempting to frame someone, and a week for the unpermitted use of dangerous magic. 

You and Audrey got to remove her as a dorm mate, and although the offer was made to request a new one, you both found it pretty nice to have the extra space all to yourselves one Jania’s bed was out of there. 

Ben was doing fine as well, Mal had woken him up and broken the sleeping curse like everyone expected, and he even said that the whole thing felt like a really great nap, so he wasn’t too upset. 

As an apology for all that had happened, you had invited Harry out for ice cream. You hadn’t really gotten a chance to say sorry for him almost being kicked out of Auradon just for hanging around you, and even though it technically wasn’t your fault, you felt the need to say it anyway. 

So while the two of you sat out on a bench in the castle courtyard, you laid the spoon down in your half eaten cup of ice cream, shifting awkwardly. 

“So, I, um…” you begin, pursing your lips as you try to form a complete sentence. “I don’t think I ever got the chance to apologize for…everything that happened. I knew Jania was making it out to be a big deal, but…I didn’t think she would take it that far.” 

He turns to you with a soft smile, shaking his head. 

“Yeh know there’s no need for an apology, right?”

Blinking, you let out a small huff of breath, staring back down at the delicacy. “Well, obviously not if I’m doing it.” 

Harry giggles, nudging your arm with his. “It wasn’t yer fault, I’m not mad. I like a bit o’ drama every now an’ then.”

“Only you,” you retort, unable to hold back the smile that pulls at your lips. 

But you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Right as you begin to settle down from your internal conflict, something hits you like a brick.

Your sister may or may have not revealed that you were starting to fall in love. With him. 

What should you do? Should you say something? Maybe bury it in a box and hope it never sees the light of day?

“Yeh know, it’s cute how yeh go from super talkative ta super quiet,” he remarks, interrupting your train of thought. 

“Sorry,” you say. “...We’re still friends, right?”

The look of confusion on his face shows that that was not the response he was expecting. 

“...Aye? Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Good.” Your head bobs along with your words. “Great. Yeah, no, I just… y’know, just clarifying.” 

Oh no, you were being super awkward again, like how you were when the two of you first met. 

Although this time, you might actually go dig a hole for yourself if you hit him with finger guns again. 

“This isn’t clarity enough?”

Groaning inwardly, you shove the spoon in your mouth. “No, that’s not how I meant it, just…give me a second to think.”

You can tell he wants to laugh again, but he tries not to for you, so you can spit all of this out. 

Finally, it spills, “I was just…hoping what my sister said the other day didn’t make things…weird?”

Honey, you’re making it weird!

He takes a moment to think back on what it was exactly that Audrey had said, and every second of silence makes you want to be dragged in front of a road. 

“…Ohhh,” he says, forcing down a grin. “Yeh mean when she said ye were in love with someone? An’ tha’ someone might possibly be me?”

It’s an obvious tease. He knew exactly what your sister said, he’s been quoting it word for word in his head for the past two weeks. 

You want to run away from this situation and never look this guy in the eyes again, no muscle in your body wants to actually move. 

“…Well, since we’re tellin’ secrets…” he sits down his ice cream, reaching a hand over to focus your eyes back on him before holding your face in his cool palms. “Guess wha’?”

Clearing your throat to settle the leaping in your chest, you bite, “…What?”

Harry’s eyes sparkle, which should’ve been your first indication that he was up to something. Still, you will yourself not to move, even as he leans ever so closer to your face, though not completely as he’s trying to gauge your reaction.

With no sign of rejection, he finally closes the gap between you, leaving you stunned for a moment as your lips are captured in a soft kiss. You soon melt into the feeling, hands abandoning the cup of ice cream on your lap in favor of grasping the front of his jacket. 

It feels just as magical as you’d imagined it when you thought it would happen all those nights ago. Although, you’re glad it’s longer to become reality. It makes the moment feel even more special, more meaningful. 

When the two of you pull away, his forehead rests against yours, a blissful silence wrapping around the atmosphere like a warm blanket, the warmth spreading through your chest. 

You can’t help but smile, looking up with eyes that shine just as bright as his do, unable to stop the giggling that bubbles in your throat, but soon, he’s laughing along with you. 

The two of you were an usual pair, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Just a princess and her pirate.  

[torialefay]

can't get this out of my mind, so here we go 🔞

✨ who in skz has the best pullout game, rated from best to worst:

best

changbin: bin is quite literally the most respectful boy ever. even if he's super into it, he makes sure to never go too far. he doesn't want to risk doing anything that would put you in a hard position. when he feels it coming on, he gets one more pump inside you and then he's out.

jeongin: innie has really been pushing that testosterone lately, but he's not stupid... and he is a little scared. he knows his limits & he's lowkey (highkey) terrified he'll accidentally get you pregnant without even ejaculating, so yeah, he out.

chan: channie WANTS to cum inside you, don't get me wrong. but he still always asks you in the moment... "where do you want it?" he asks hurriedly, pounding into you harshly and knowing he's about to go over the edge... honestly, his pullout game is kind of a close call most of the time, but he always manages to make it out right before cumming all over your stomach <3

minho: like chan, he REALLY wants to cum inside. he likes that power trip. but at the same time, i feel like he does also have a bigger sense of "responsibility" and probably feels like he will be fucked if there's a mini hellion version of him running around. he's pulling out... mostly bc he wants to see it all over the harsh red marks he left on your ass but still.

seungmin: seungmin just kinda doesn't give a fuck tbh, so i can't really rate him and have to put him in the middle. you know to expect that whatever he's in the mood for is probably what's gonna happen (unless you're 100% unprotected ofc). i promise you if you are either on birth control or doing aney, he will not give two shits where he busts. whatever happens happens 🤷🏻‍♀️ BUT when he needs to cum outside of you, he's good to get it out.

felix: lixie tends to just get carried away and lost in his own lil head. once he starts feeling good, he gets so into it that it doesn't even register til the last second that he needs to get out of you. he's gonna be there moaning, about to get that nut and you've gotta hit him a little to snap him out of it. once his mind catches up, he gasps a little before ripping that shit out.

han: han's pullout game is shit. period. once that rush hits him, he cums sooo quick. like he only has a couple of seconds before he's busting. even if he's trying to pull out, he gets like half way there and then he's all like "oh fu-u-uck" bc he can't stop it <3 then he's gotta apologize. every single time.

hyunjin: pullout game is basically nonexistent, but he chooses it to be that way honestly. he gets so lost in the moment that absolutely nothing can stop him from cumming inside you. he will quite literally wrap your legs around him and sink down even deeper inside of you every time bc aint no way in helllll he's pulling out at the most delicious part. he needs it to be an all-consuming experience

worst

[straykids-2000]

Asking stray kids if you can dom them

Bangchan

He wouldn't be opposed to it

Actually, he would love to give up control

His all ways has to be in control from being the leader of stray kids to the fan

It's nice to finally give up control

Before even doing anything, tho he wants to talk about and learn a little bit.

When his ready, he'll shyly tell you

He'll be a moaning, whimpering mess before you even start

If you're pegging him, then he'll want you to hold his hands

He will hide his face in your neck

Calls you mommy/daddy then gets shy

When you're done, he's so far gone in Subspace

✨️Aftercare✨️

"So cute, baby." You whispered, making him cover his face,

You chuckled and moved his arms as you softly thrust into him "please mommy/daddy so good." He said nails, digging into your back

Leeknow

At first his not sure, but after a bit of talking then he'll give it a chance

And he loved it

Lowkey (highkey) is a brat at first

Will talk back and talk about how it's better when he fucks you

When his finally realized how good you're making him feel.

He'll be a moaning mess

He will, in fact, claw you back and bite your neck.

If you call him kitten, he'll fall into his subspace faster.

Likes it when you degrade and praise him at the same time

If you are pegging him

He'll want to ride you

Will fondle your chest

Minho whimpered as he looked down at you, marking his thighs

He threw his head back and grabbed your hair "fuck, fuck please I'm sorry."

You groaned and waved his hands away from your head. " I know, kitten, but you were bad got punished you." You said and smirked as you leaned down back to his thigh

Changbin

Changbin will be right on board

Is a pillow princess

Absolutely loves it when you kiss him well riding him or pegging him

Loves to be praised

Call him babygirl and he'll cum right there

If you make him ride you, he'll cry and beg you to do the work

If you're strong then he want you to fuck him against a wall

Isn't really a big fan of degrading

It really depends on what you say doesn't mind being called a slut

Would love to roleplay

He wants you to mark him and talk him through it.

Has a breeding kink

"Please breed me." Changbin moaned, holding your shoulders.

"I know, baby, I know, baby." You groaned, kissing his neck

Hyunjin

Doesn't openly show it but is very excited.

Has been thinking about it for a long time

He doesn't want you to be gentle with him, but he won't openly tell you that.

You'll have to push him enough to tell you what he wants

He'll put his hand on yours and bring it to his neck for you to choke him

Loves when you degrade him

Call him your little slut or whore and he'll melt

Overstimulate or edge him

Claws at your back

Massive pain kick

Slap him, bite him, and he'll be begging for more

He'll be a brat on purpose, so he'll get a punishment

Hyunjin grabbed your hand and placed it on his throat. You squeezed, making his eyes roll back.

"Such a dirty slut." You said and used your other hand and slapped his ass.

Jisung

Immediately in bed, ready to be fucked

Ass up head down

Has been waiting since you started dating even before that

Doesn't care where you fuck him

Kitchen, bedroom, living room, doesn't care

Also has a breeding kink

Will dress up in a lingerie or a dress

And put on makeup just for it to get ruined

Will call you whatever you want daddy,mommy,mistress,Master

Likes it rough but also gentle(if that makes sense)

He'll be so fucked out that he goes cross-eyed

Loves sucking on your chest

"So good mommy/daddy don't stop feels so good" han moaned out as he folded your chest

you grabbed han hair, pulling his head back. You leaned down to kiss his neck, "so pretty"

Felix

Acts shocked as if he hadn't been hinting to it

Has the biggest feminist kink

Call him baby girl, doll, princess, and his eyes are rolling back

Very vocal in bed from the beginning to the end

Likes to call you daddy (female or not)

If you put my in front of one of his nicknames, he'll cum on the spot

Whould love to be fucked in public.

Will try anything once

He loves to Roleplay his favorite roleplay is nerd and cheerleader/jock

Wants to be recorded while you fuck him

Loves to eat you out

"Such a pretty little slut." You said walking around felix with a camera.

"Say hi babygirl."

Felix whimpered as he tried to smile.

Seungmin

His not really up for it a first.

But then he started to think about it and looked into it and realized how fun it looks

Will shyly ask if you're still up to dom him

He wants to try petplay

Loves to ride your strap on

Likes to lick and suck on your neck

Trys kissing you will you fuck him

Will cling to you as you fuck him arm holding onto you tightly

Loves being called puppy or pup

Loves to cuddle after your done wants to be held.

Giggles, when you kiss all over his face

He definitely wouldn't mind doing it again

"Mmmh, pup doing so good for me such a good puppy." You said as he held on to you. His eyes rolled back

Jeongin

Very confused asking to think about it first

When he decides he wants to do it, he'll ask it your still up for it

Wants to eat you out first then will ask you to fuck him

Also, is one who wants you to hold his hand

Very vocal in bed

Like when you talk him through it

Loves when you call him your good boy or my love

Goes cross-eyed when he cums

Whimpering mess when you jerk him off

If you don't let him cum, he'll beg you and cry saying that his you're good boy and please let him cum

Will moan and whimper in your ear

Loves to take baths with you after, wants you to message him in the bath

"Please, please don't stop fuck I'm your good boy." He whimpered out holding your hips

"Such a good boy for me, baby." You replied to him as you leaned down to kiss him

First post, so I hope yall like it 💓

[aloesarchives]

Two for the Price of One (JJK Oneshot)

TW/Warnings: Profanity, NOT POLY SATOSUGU X READER, Fem Reader and She/Her pronouns, ANGST, Angst for Satoru and Reader, Bittersweet ending for Suguru and Reader, HIGHKEY MISCOMMUNICATION, Possible OOC Satoru, abandonment issues if you squint really hard, Reader slowly losing herself, Reader feeling depression/hopeless(implicit), Reader's has a healthy dynamic with her clan

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader/Suguru Geto x Fem!Reader

AU: Canon

Pronouns: She/Her(Reader's clan has a unrealistic healthy and understanding relationship with her)

Word Count: 6.1k words

Summary: Gojo's lack of coping caused you to drift away and eventually depart after Suguru's defection from Jujutsu Society.

(A/N): I know it doesn't make sense and will make many frustrated with how dumb this is. I just wanted to write my emotions out with this one, okay? I know this wouldn't slide but I'm a sucker for these scenarios. Edit: Since I've been getting positive reactions from you guys, I decided to take out the cringe/unrealistic out of the warning/tws lists. I truly love and appreciate you, loves!❤️

[!!Semi-edited & Proofread!!! 2/8/2024 4:04pm CST]

It was hard on all of you.

More so for you and Satoru.

Ever since Geto’s massacre and defection, the higher-ups and Jujutsu society have been scrambling to get the chaos under control. Having a special grade user become a curse user was sounding red alarms as there was an immediate threat to present-day Jujutsu sorcery.

You knew something was up with Suguru. You did; your observation wouldn’t allow things to go unnoticed. It was a bit here and there, but never a significant concern. You tried coaxing him gradually to open up to you, but your efforts were fruitless. No bells were ringing until the post-Plasma Star Vessel incident. You felt the shift in Suguru’s aura; you noticed his lifeless stare—the growing dark circles around his eyes surrounding the tiny flicker of life left inside. 

You tried being there for Suguru. You did anything and everything to accompany him and not leave him alone. It was selfish of you. To be desperate for your best friend to lean on you for support and not to go down a destructive path. You became even more worried when Haibara returned cold with a frustrated and traumatized Nanami. It was becoming more evident of Suguru’s deteriorating condition, you to confide in Shoko and even Yaga-sensei. 

Grief is like love, a twisted parasitic curse. Even though a year has passed, your grief was a malevolent spirit that latched itself onto your shoulders with a vice grip. A bitter reminder of how Suguru never said goodbye to you. He technically did with Satoru. But it was more of him telling Satoru that he was severing ties with Jujutsu Society by questioning him with his newfound powers. All you got from Suguru was a simple letter Shoko gave you at your dorm. She was with you as you read it. Tear droplets stained the paper, words smeared, and became unreadable. Out of pure frustration, you ripped the paper in half—the tearing of paper cut through the sickening silence. Shoko hugged you as you sobbed in the aftermath. While you were mourning the loss of your friend and your lives together, you were also mourning your life after this would never be the same. It would only get worse from here. 

 Satoru is tossed onto multiple missions left and right, never catching a break.

And there was you, trying to return to your regular school life. Or how every day can it be now? One of your best friends just murdered an entire village and his parents, and the other one is overworking himself to the very bone. Shoko being there for you was a surprising one, but at the same time, it wasn’t. Given that she was the first one Suguru said goodbye to, she understood his actions.

The problem was trying to tell Satoru about it, but he would brush it off, saying that maybe it was the change in weather or sickness. When you tried to explain there was more to it, Satoru would wave his hand at you, saying, 

“You’re overthinking too much, (Y/N)-chan! I’m sure Suguru is fine. We just have to give him some time.”

Though the tone was light-hearted, it provided no comfort. You know Satoru was suffering as well. Individuals process trauma differently, after all. You were seeing this first hand. 

Satoru was overcompensating to the world of Jujutsu with his enlightenment, overworking himself and burying his pain through that charismatic mask he now dons. Suguru is the most common one: Insomnia, isolation, and depression. He slowly became a lifeless husk. On the other hand, you were coping by trying to move forward while acting like a rock for them. Despite the hard transition, you didn’t deny your trauma as you slowly worked to process and navigate through it. You had the support of Shoko, your teacher, and even your clan/family stepped in to support your mental health endeavors. They went as far as providing you with a therapist, who was also a sorcerer.

But you all were suffering in silence.

A year has passed since Suguru left, and you were getting by. You, Shoko, and Satoru would graduate in the third year and officially become Jujutsu Sorcerers. Yet, at this point, it felt more like only you and Shoko. Satoru still attended class and hung out, but missions mainly preoccupied his school life. He recently returned from Hokkaido, only to be sent out again. This time, however, it was somewhere in Western Europe. That’s on the other side of the world. It would only be for a week, but still. You wanted him to rest or take a break, as he never did– not since the incident.

He wouldn’t be leaving for another seven days, so you had enough time to be with him. Yet it was challenging because Satoru didn’t let up. The ravine he created kept opening, the distance stretching far and deep, pushing you away.

Just like Suguru.

You didn’t want to lose Satoru. You almost did, becoming a grim reminder of how much you cared for Satoru Suguru. To fall for your best friend was a betrayal. You didn’t mean it, but Satoru did things that made your heart warm and fluttered. Suguru was the first to catch on; he saw your crush a mile away. Confiding in Suguru about it, you found solace in his words– feeding into an enviable delusion. 

Unbeknownst to you, Suguru's eyes were able to hide his longing for you as you rambled about Satoru and your latest hangout together. Suguru always thought you and Satoru had a special connection—your two powerful chemistry and how you bounce off each other. He presumed Satoru had mutual feelings, but nothing was said. Once he left, he knew you had his heart. There was no space for anyone else to fill it but you. And Suguru was more than willing to live with reality. If the girl who gave his life light is with his best friend, so be it. He would settle with the heartache as long as you were happy.

But you weren’t happy at all.

Over time, you started questioning whether the life of a Jujutsu Sorcerer was worth it. Yes, you were born into the world of Jujutsu, and it has been your whole life. But the last two years radically changed that. You were already exposed to this life's dangers and cruelty; prepare to face it head-on no matter what. Yet second thoughts became third thoughts. Then, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh. The more you challenge your initial mindset, the more doubts seep into its cracks.

Why should I continue when I am nothing more than a placeholder in this world?

How can I save everyone if I can’t save one person?

Where is the meaning in all of this if I’ll just die alone and be replaced and forgotten?

Was this endless cycle of Jujutsu Sorcery even worth it?

You wondered if Suguru shared the same thoughts to push him to his decision. Now, you don’t blame him for leaving at all. It was grime. It was depravity. It was futile. You only stayed because you had your clan. You had Yaga-sensei and Shoko. But most of all, you had Satoru to shoulder the burdens of the Jujutsu world.

That’s. . .what you thought. . .

You decided to go to Satoru’s dorm to check up on him. Maybe squeeze a hangout in there. Gently knocking, you hope he was there since you couldn’t sense him around the campus. There was faint shuffling on the other side, signaling he was. You softly call out to him as you knock again. Once opened, Satoru greeted you in his school uniform. You found it odd since he’d switched to his comfortable clothes after school hours. 

“Hi, Toru! I just came by to see how you’re doing. The mochi store we always go to releases its seasonal flavors today! Why don’t you come with me? I heard one of your favorites returned, so I didn’t want you to miss it.”

“I appreciate the thought, (Y/N). But not today, I’m sorry.” Satoru said with a smile.

You couldn’t pinpoint his smile, tittering on, sad and strained. A tinge of uneasiness settled inside your heart, but you still wore your smile to not let it surface.

“C’mon, Toru! You don’t know if they will sell out today. Plus, the weather is great. I heard some festivals with food stands are opening up because of that. It wouldn’t hurt to go out just this once, Satoru.”

Satoru’s smile disappears at your insistence, replacing it with a fine line. His mood change didn’t sit well with you. You had previous attempts to get Satoru to care for himself. However, this is different from all your others because the band that holds your desperation began to wane itself thin. Your solid composure falters in bits. Your bright aura slowly dimmed as your now chapped lips twitched.

“Satoru, I know that you’re busy. Always on missions, meeting the higher-ups, your clan needing you more than ever, you have your hands tied. But it wouldn’t be too much just to enjoy yourself. Just come with me today before you go to Europe next week. It’s been a while since we hung out together.”

“Look (Y/N), I don’t really have time for this. I need to head out now, or it will get dark. Maybe another time–”

Then something inside of you snaps. You didn’t know whether it was your desperation or uneasiness, but assumed both because your facade crumbles to reveal your emotions.

“You always say later, Satoru, but never do! You haven’t taken a break in months! You’ve gotten paler, and your under-eyes are darker than before! You’re pushing yourself too hard and beginning to neglect yourself. Toru, Please! I’m worried about you! You know I can always help you–”

“For the love of God, (Y/N)! Can you STOP TALKING?! GOD, YOUR VOICE MAKES MY EARS BLEED! LIKE HELL YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND MY RESPONSIBILITIES!”

 It was never your intention to snap. But the way Satoru was acting paralleled Suguru. Eat, sleep, and go on missions. It was always those three, the same ones Suguru was subjected to that became a factor in his defection. Satoru was caught in the vicious cycle that pushed Suguru over the edge. 

On top of your crippling fear of Satoru sharing the same fate as Suguru, Déjà vu struck you. Desperation emerged from within as you didn’t want to lose him, breaking your resolve before him. Desperation was fear in another form. 

You weren’t the only one to reach a breaking point. Satoru snapped as well and at you, of all people. You guessed it was from all the stress and emotions he bottled up that exploded there. What Satoru was experiencing was valid and understandable; you knew this. Yet to blow up at you was uncalled for as you made it clear you’re only helping. Your eyes sting as you feel the formation of tears ready themselves, biting the inside of your bottom lip to keep your voice from breaking.

“B-but. . .Satoru. . .I w-was only trying to–” You stuttered out, forcibly pushing out words to fill the silence.

“Help? You were trying to help, (Y/N)?”

Once saying that Satoru let out a sarcastic laughter that could be mistaken for madness. Horror took over your face. Pain-filled eyes were glossed over, showing your tears could spill at any moment. His laughter abruptly stopped, making it so quiet that only your staggered breathing could be heard. He meets his eyes with yours with the most disdain you have ever seen.

“Do you think you could help when you’re just dead weight? You thought you were on par with Suguru and me. Get that out of your stupid little head of yours (Y/N). You were never strong like us.”

“You don’t mean that, right, Satoru?” You said incredulity as you reached out for him. Only for your hand to freeze before him, not going any further. A chill flashed over you, adding to the aching that enveloped your soul.

Did he– Did he just use his infinity on you?

“Oh, but I do. Now, I need to be somewhere. Do yourself a favor, (Y/N), and don’t bother me with your weak presence.”

And before you knew it, Satoru was already gone. He had used his teleportation to get to where he was needed. Leaving you alone with the door to his dorm wide open. The sounds of the crickets took over. They were paired with your small sniffles, furiously wiping away your nonstop tears. 

Were you weak to him?

Have you really been holding everyone back?

Were you that much of a nuisance to him?

Is this how Satoru really felt about you?

Has he always felt this way?

You never saw utter detest and contempt from Satoru. Your previous interactions had him irritated or annoyed, but never like this. This was the first time Satoru had blown up on you, let alone given you such a reaction. Before, you’d repeatedly remind him of your support and help. But it always ends the same way, pushing you away. After what happened, this will be the last time you’d do this for him. 

You were once told that you can’t help someone if they aren’t reaching out for help. And this was a bitter example of it. Your efforts in having Satoru lean on you bore nothing. What’s the point in continuing this if nothing changes after multiple attempts?

You were tired, drained, and indifferent. Your tears keep falling as you enter your dorm, not even stopping as the sound of nature lulls you to sleep. 

You let two days pass to let Satoru calm down and give him space. No interactions or anything to pass some time. You would try to contact him for the next four days after that. But your texts were left unanswered and on read. When you tried calling, your call went straight to voicemail. He blocked your phone number, too. 

 The weight of your doubts and Satoru’s words the other day are fueling your impulsivity. If Satoru called you weak and dead weight, other sorcerers would think so, too. If you become a thorn in their side, you’re doing them a favor by pulling yourself out for them. Even if Satoru didn’t mean it, you knew there was some truth to it because he kept his infinity up. You could never forget how his blue eyes lit through his pitch-dark glasses as he spoke down at you. Giving away that he was conscious and level-headed when he said those words.

You were losing the war against your intrusive mind. Your doubts and thoughts gradually solidified in your consciousness. In the course of time, they won and consumed your psyche.

If becoming a jujutsu sorcerer would get in the way of others, then being a sorcerer wasn’t for you.

With your last attempts to contact Satoru, you have made your decision. A day before Satoru departs for Europe, you decide to pay your clan head a visit. It was sudden and unannounced; nonetheless, they allowed an audience with you. 

They let you speak your mind, allowing whatever you need to be released and run free without judgment. Thus, you confided in them about everything.

This was too much; all of it was too much for you to bear any longer. You couldn’t see yourself as a sorcerer any longer after dealing with what you had experienced. Every day was a battle for you, and you lost every single one. You admitted you didn’t have what’s left of you it in you to shoulder the responsibilities of the Jujutsu world. You didn’t want the life of a jujutsu sorcerer anymore. You wanted one of peace, not having to fight every day. To enjoy the rest of your days as a regular civilian.

Confiding also in missing Suguru dearly and how his departure left a hole in your heart that could never be healed. You weren’t strong enough to face the horrors and hardships anymore and wish to live a peaceful life. 

Although your clan head was shocked at your confession, they were understanding and asked if this was something you truly wanted. An unwavering ‘Yes’ left you, and your clan head nodded. They gave you a choice: to go after graduation in a few weeks or leave now. If you leave now, they will deal with the rest as you finish the important schoolwork. It was just a waiting game with missions sprinkled throughout.

You could wait before leaving, but that’s wasting time. If you weren’t going to continue your life here, you might as well get a headstart now in your new one. You finalize your decision with the head. They said they would have some members pick up your stuff from your dorms tomorrow morning, but you said it wouldn’t be much. As you took your leave, you told them you would keep in touch with the clan. 

“What are your plans for what happens next, (Y/N)?” They curiously asked with your back facing them.

“Hmm, I don’t know exactly. But I have an idea, (Clan Head’s Name). Thank you for everything that you’ve done.”

With a reassuring voice, you turn to respectfully bow before leaving their room. Though they never said it out loud, they saw how your eyes were soft, like tremendous pressure was relieved from your body.

Thinking about it as you leave the estate, you never mentioned your fight with Satoru. Though it wouldn’t change anything. That night, you packed your dorm in your suitcase. Only leave your bedsheets, a pillow, and a few desk appliances behind. Your closet and drawers were empty of any clothes you had. By 10 a.m. tomorrow, any trace left of you would be gone. As you write a letter to whoever finds it about your whereabouts, your thoughts return to Suguru. To playfully think he did the exact same thing before his defection. 

You looked at your school uniform as it hung on your door. You contemplated taking it with you but decided against it. You wanted no strings left attached when you leave the world of Jujutsu Sorcery.

Morning came as you stared at the room you once called your own. The remainder of your things are packed in cardboard boxes for your clan members to get later. You glance back over to your desk as your school uniform is neatly folded on top of it. Your lips are graced with a sentimental smile as you close the door one last time. 

As you walked along the campus, fleeting memories of your days here flooded your mind. You reminisced on the areas and places you spent your youth with your friends and classmates. Now you’re leaving Jujutsu Tech and the Jujutsu World forever. Never to come back. You get to the main entrance of the school.

Before taking another step, you sensed someone behind you.

“So you're leaving, too, (Y/N)?”

It was Shoko.

“Yeah. . . Shoko. I’m going. . .”

She blows out a large smoke cloud from her cigarette, giving you a blank look before sending you a smile.

“At least say goodbye to me. . .I don’t blame you for going. . .” Shoko adds as she holds out her arms. You chuckle at her gesture and give her a hug. By the slight firm grip you felt, she didn’t want you to go, but she couldn’t stop you either.

Once you break away from the hug, you remember something and fish out a folded paper in your bag. You handed it to Shoko, and she eyed it curiously.

“I was going to leave it in my dorm for someone to find, but I thought it would work better if I gave this to you if I ran into it on my way out. My clan is sending members to get the last of my things, so I won’t return to my dorm. Sorry I had to make you the messenger again, Shoko.” You bittersweetly said.

You find it ironic that your departure is similar to Suguru’s. Shoko is the first to see you two go while giving her a letter for the others to read. You laugh as you think this over.

Oh, how history repeats itself.

Shoko tucks away your letter before taking a drag from her smoke.

“Does he know about this?”

You knew she was referring to Satoru. You shook your head no, still have a small smile.

“No, unfortunately. Satoru and I got into a arg– disagreement a few days ago. I don’t know if he’s okay with me to begin with, as cowardly to say. The only ones that know are you and my clan head.”

She hums at your response before going for another drag.

“Your phone number still the same?”

“I don’t really plan on changing my phone number. Even if I do, I’ll text you the new number so you can give it to the others.”

“I see. . .See you around, (Y/N). Keep in touch, will ya?”

“I will. I’ll see you around then. Bye, Shoko.”

Giving Shoko one last hug, you wave goodbye as you leave Jujutsu’s High entrance, disappearing from view. Not daring to look back because regret might come if you did.

Shoko watches from afar, her cigarette being halfway done. She takes one last puff before extinguishing it with the bottom of her shoe. She looks at your letter. The paper was crisp with no wrinkles like it had been fresh from the printer. From this, Shoko knew you had written it recently, no hesitation evident on the page itself. Unlike Suguru’s, her fingers tighten on your letter as she sighs while entering the school.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“What brings you here? He’s a busy man.”

“I’m just an old acquaintance of his. Just a simple chat. It won’t take long, I promise.”

The pretty attendant raises a brow at you as she guides you to one of the rooms. She looks you up and down before facing forward again.

“You have a substantial amount of curse energy. You have a curse technique then; aren’t you a jujutsu sorcerer?”

“I…used to be…but not anymore…I chose to leave that life. I’m just a civilian that has a curse technique.”

You see the attendant smile out of the corner of your eye at your answer. 

“I see. Geto-sama will be happy to take audience with you then.”

You shouldn’t be here. You knew that. Walking in taboo territory could get you hunted down by the very society you were born into. It’s not a secret of Suguru’s position as both a curse user and a cult leader. You remember hearing about him reforming a cult that worshiped Tengan but dissolved after the incident. You found it interesting he hasn’t done collateral damage yet. No incidents or missions revolving around curses terrorizing civilians. Perhaps he was going for something on a larger scale, you thought.

But you missed Suguru dearly. Not in a sentimental reminiscing way. More as in yearning for him entirely. Everyone tells you it’s not the same with Suguru gone, obviously. Yeah, but Suguru plagued your mind after his defection. You want nothing more than to see him again. Yes, things couldn’t go back to the way they were. But you didn’t like the prospects of what your future would hold if you stayed.

You disagreed with Suguru ridding the world of non-sorcerers. But you also understand and agree the current Jujutsu system is a dumpster fire that will never work. At the end of the day, only those the higher-ups favor will get to stay while the rest are sent off to die. You didn’t want to take part in that. You valued your life to know it shouldn’t be tossed around so easily by some dementia geezers who can’t even fight. And yet, you felt a tinge of regret for not staying to fix or break the system. Your only option was to leave and not involve yourself anymore.

The attendant takes you to the room, saying he will arrive shortly. Leaving you alone, you felt your heart race. You hope Suguru doesn’t kill you because he can sense your curse energy. Yet his letter was heartfelt and raw. His apology and the paragraphs after them were for you and you alone, like a confession. Even though you ripped the letter, you keep the two halves. Strangely enough, there was an address and a few words at the bottom of the page. 

‘You know where to find me.’

Here you are, waiting for him with the same letter he sent. As you wait, you can feel his energy get closer. You stare down, kneeling, the letter shaking like a leaf in your hands.

Then the door opens.

You let out a small gasp, not daring to look up as the footsteps approach his seat. A soft chuckle fills the room as you keep your head low.

“I thought I was mistaken when I felt your curse energy. But I now know my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. Please, lift your head so I can see you (Y/N).”

Your gaze meets Suguru’s soft eyes and warm smile. Both genuine and kind. His eyes widen before returning back to soft when he sees the tears trickling down for your lovely eyes he could get lost in. You stumble to stand, practically pouncing at Suguru. His embrace was like gates opening for you and closing once you entered. You softly sob into his robes as he holds you tightly. Comforting you by gently rubbing your back and hair, giving a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“I missed you so much, Suguru!” was all you said before you continued to sniffle and hiccup into him.

Suguru hums as he pulls away to better view your face. You felt self-conscious as he lovingly gazed at you. Your nose and cheeks were raw from crying, and your eyes became an irritated red. Suguru smiles, wiping away your endless tears with his thumb.

“Oh, (Y/N). I’m sorry for leaving you behind. You understand, don’t you? From my letter?”

You nodded to respond. Holding the paper in front of Suguru. He notices the tear stains and ink smudges from the words he wrote down.

“I would’ve told you in person, (Y/N). Believe me. But I couldn't once they announced my charges. You would’ve been questioned as a possible accomplice. I didn’t want that for you. Do you know what it means for you to see me now?”

“Yes, I’m aware. But I left of my own accord; it wasn’t just for you, Suguru. I wouldn’t be able to last long if I stayed. So I decided to go, leaving it behind, all of it.”

He was a bit puzzled by what you meant. But it didn’t take long for him to piece it himself. Suguru figured something happened between you and Satoru but decided to stay silent out of respect. You both stare with relief and tenderness. Suguru gingerly takes your hand and places a light kiss on your knuckles. You set your unoccupied hand on his cheek, quietly giggling as Suguru leans into your delicate touch. He sighed in contentment. Bring your hand up again to kiss it as he wraps his free arm around your waist. His sincere smile radiates down onto you.

“I guess we have some catching up to do then, (Y/N).”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Satoru was in a better mood today than before.

Satoru cooled off his head after a couple of days from when he made that outburst at you.  He was stressed and tired of being continuously sent out on missions, and you did make a point that he hasn’t taken a break in months. He remembered what he said to you that evening, which made him feel guilty.

He knows he hasn’t been around because the higher-ups have sent him out like a work dog. It was now you and Shoko with him. The stabilization you two had on him once Suguru left.

You’ve been only trying to help him for a long time. Being there for him in your own way while coaxing him to hang out. Yet he took it for granted and said some vile things because his bucket decided to overflow then out of all the times it shouldn’t. You didn’t deserve that. You also didn’t deserve the silent treatment he gave you. He saw your text messages and listened to the voicemails you left. He did not answer because he was too prideful and stubborn to admit he was stressed and hurt you like that.

But sitting with his emotions and reflecting on how stupid he is for prioritizing his ego, he decided to cut down his pride and make it up to you. He unblocked your number and was going to call you. But he chose to just surprise you instead he chickened out. Satoru knew the European mission was a nuisance to his plans, so he had already taken care of it. By that, Satoru somehow teleported himself to where he needed to be in Europe, slayed the high-level curses, retrieved some curse objects, reported what he did, and teleported back to Japan in four hours.

He did all this at the last minute on the sixth day before Satoru was supposed to leave. He did this to stay and spend the whole week with you, make up for lost time, and give a proper apology.

Now, Satoru was strolling through Jujutsu Tech. He whistles as he holds a bouquet of (favorite flowers), a box with a (favorite color) bracelet with (favorite designs/charms), and a bag of mochi and daifuku for you two to share together. He walks around the grounds, trying to search you. He was told no classes today, so he went to your favorite spots. You weren’t anywhere.

‘Huh, that’s strange. (Y/N) would usually be in those places when class is not in session. I wonder where she could be.’

Satoru thought about dropping by your dorm but figured you were with Shoko. On the other hand, he couldn’t sense Shoko around either until Satoru felt it alongside Yaga-sensei. He sensed them in Yaga’s building, so he headed there.

Blissfully unaware of what would await him. 

Satoru clutches your gifts to one side as he opens the door to enter. His six eyes hadn’t kicked in yet, but something in the air felt off. His sun smile hasn’t dropped yet as he scans around, wondering why the two were quiet when he entered.

“Yo, Yaga-sensei, Shoko! I’ve been trying to look for you guys. By any chance know where (Y/N) is so I can give these to her?”

He looks at his teacher, and Satoru’s demeanor instantly changes. There, Yaga stood with his glasses off, clutching a piece of paper with a stern frown. Satoru turns to Shoko, a somber expression replacing her lighthearted one. Satoru just looked back and forth between the two before his eyes settled on the paper in his teacher’s hand. Satoru stands stunned, hearing his heartbeat in his ears grow louder and louder. The air from his lungs disappeared as realization dawned on him. 

Satoru clenched his teeth as he teleported to your dorm room, the clap resonating throughout the hall. He burst open your dorm door, and to his horror, your room was empty. The room was stripped of everything that made it yours. The closet and drawers were emptied, and your desk and bed were bare of anything from you. What used to be your dorm is now an empty dorm room, ready for the next person to claim it. He frantically looks around in hopes of finding any reminds of you.

Then, he spotted your old Jujutsu High uniform, laying neatly on top of your old desk. Satoru just stares, not daring to pick it up. Because if he did, he would’ve broken down. He can’t stay there anymore, to which he teleports back. He bears his pearly white teeth as he closes in on his teacher.

“Where the hell is (Y/N)?” Satoru lowly said.

“Gone, Satoru–”

“I know she’s gone! But where?! Why the hell is all her stuff gone?! Her room is completely empty!”

“Satoru,” Yaga tried calmly speaking, but he was clearly frustrated. “I know this is so sudden. But the (L/N)’s clan head said something came up with (Y/N), and they retrieved all her things. Her clan said they were going to deal with everything else.”

Satoru's breathing became staggered. He could hear it growing louder. He tried his best not to let his voice crack, but that made him angrier.

“Everything else? The hell does that mean, sensei? Why would the (L/N) clan withdraw (Y/N) from school?! School ends in a few weeks! She could have graduated with us!”

“It…wasn’t their decision, Satoru…It was (Y/N)’s…”

Suddenly, Satoru became flabbergasted. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This gotta be some twisted, cruel joke that was playing on him. His curse energy was flaring up, and his cerulean eyes lit lightly. The flowers from the bouquet were losing their petals, and his bag full of treats was getting smushed from his intense grip.

“What…?”

“The clan head said it themselves.”

“No…”

“She decided not to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer and leave Jujutsu society.”

“LIKE HELL SHE WOULD!!!” Just like that, everything came crashing down for Satoru. Not being in your usual spots on campus, the empty dorm; hell, he noticed your curse residuals becoming faint. The traces of them becoming weaker and weaker. Your presence here in Jujutsu High was fading faster than he could notice. The anger he built up showed itself as it was on full display. Honestly, Yaga and Shoko don’t blame him for his outburst. Satoru held you close, after all.

“Satoru, please.” Yaga pinches the bridge of his nose as he clenches his teeth. “I’m just as lost as you are. This came out of the blue…Her clan confirmed it, and she said it herself.”

Satoru slightly flinches when Yaga holds the paper out towards him. Gesturing for Satoru to take it.

“I didn’t read far into this because it felt like (Y/N) wanted someone else to read it.”

Satoru’s long fingers snatched the paper out of his teacher’s hands. His hands shake as he opens the paper up to see its contents.

It was a letter–from you.

His eyes slowly followed the words of your neatly written goodbye. His heart rips itself piece by piece as he continues reading. The guilt and shaming grew. He could feel the fatigue and jadedness from your thoughts. But the last paragraph makes Satoru’s heart hurt the worst. Your frustration was transformed into desperation for a new life, a fresh start. Away from the endless curses and scrutiny of the higher-ups, away from the pain and hopelessness, away from it all. You didn’t want to throw your life away. You just wanted to live. Then, you end the letter with an apology. Saying sorry because you couldn’t tell them your honest thoughts, for not facing them in your departure, for not trying hard enough for everyone when it was needed. Then, the last line of your apology made Satoru’s blood run cold.

‘Most of all, I’m sorry for being weak.’

He knew that line was for him 100 percent. You wouldn’t have written it down if he didn’t tell you. To Satoru, you weren’t supposed to be the one apologizing. It should be him. He was the one who yelled at you and said those cruel and discouraging things to you. The one who pushed you away and didn’t allow you a chance to help. Fuck, he had the audacity to use his infinity against you. How dare he do that to you, his best friend the girl he fell in love with. His teeth clenched so hard out of pure anger they could crack. The anger he felt for himself was tremendous. He was angry at Suguru, the higher-ups, and Jujutsu Society. Angry at himself for being so stubborn and prideful, for waiting too long to act and apologize. But above all else, he was angry at what had become of the situation. Fully knowing he could do nothing to change anything as already was set in stone.

If he hadn’t been so prideful, he would’ve apologized to you sooner. If he didn’t blow up at you, you wouldn't become broken and hurt. If only he didn’t push you away, maybe you would have stayed– stayed by his side. But ‘if onlys’ are regrets from the past of the current reality. Now, he is living in it with the consequences of his own actions.

This is the price Satoru had to pay. He lost the only remnant that got him through this world by pushing you away. He lost his only two best friends in the world with no way of fixing it. 

The price of becoming the strongest came at the expense of two of his most dearest friends.

Suguru was gone.

You were gone.

Forever with no signs of ever coming back to him. 

In the end, Satoru Gojo was, truly, alone.

[bright-hope-spot-19]

Anyways, gonna put this under a read more. For context, I've watched a video on YouTube trying to justify why Narusaku would've made more sense than Sasusaku, and as you can imagine, the comments section had people rightfully hating on SS but by siding with Sakura and putting the whole blame on Sasuke, accusing him of being an abuser and whatnot. So, this is a response to those people under the cut:

Can Sakura stans please, stop blaming Sasuke for Sasusaku? Accusing him of being abusive or that he doesn't deserve her, cause she should've ended up with Naruto, Rock-Lee, or worse, there's also the girlies who believe Sakura was a closeted lesbian and had feelings for Ino! When she's as straight as a ruler, lol. Sasuke never wanted Sakura. He told her on multiple occasions that he doesn't want her. That he thinks she's annoying, that Naruto and Itachi are the only bonds he cares about. She's the one who kept obsessively simping and chasing after him, and crying and pouting like a baby, whenever he didn't pay attention to her.

The scene in the war arc, where she tried to act all cool by charging at Madara in his sague of 6 paths form, unable to see his clones and Sasuke and Naruto had to rescue her? She was doing it for Sasuke's attention cause she pouts and gets sad when she sees he doesn't care about her. When Kaguya showed up and she started switching dimensions and at one point switched to a lava dimension, and they started falling? Sasuke summoned his hawk and chose to rescue only Naruto, even when Naruto had the unlocked ability to levitate while ignoring Kakashi and Sakura. If it weren't for Kashi, Sakura would've fallen into the lava and died. Same with him covering team 7 with his Susanoo when the Tsukuyomi was first launched: he explicitly said he only wanted to protect Naruto cause he was necessary to end the war, he didn't care bout Kashi and Sakura. They just got lucky to be standing next to Naruto when it happened.

At one point, before Sasuke put her in that genjutsu of him stabbing her through the chest, she literally started crying and complaining about him not loving her or caring about her, to the point that, Kakashi started coddling her as he always does, also insisting to Sasuke that 'Sakura's feelings are pure and genuine and she only cares about him and how can he not see that.'

Sasuke tried making it clear to her time and time again that he's not interested, yet she cannot for the life of her, get it through her thick skull and leave him alone. Guys, Sarada canonically exists, only cause Sakura kept harassing Sasuke on his travels outta the village and chasing after him, until he gave in and fucked her. In one of the Naruto novels (not the trash written by Jun Esaka. I think it was Sakura retsuden or hidden or smth). She herself has a line saying that she'd never stop chasing Sasuke, and would keep insisting and harassing him till he accepted her feelings. That's highkey criminal behavior. She's a stalker and she asked for the loveless marriage she's stuck in now. That's what she wanted. She should've known with that 'oh so great intelligence of her' (note the sarcasm) before she started chasing him that it was very likely she'd end up pregnant and a single mother to boot. Because Sasuke doesn't love her.

It's further proven in Boruto, in that one arc where Sarada first meets Sasuke and shit? Heavily implying Sasuke never kissed her, and when he sees Sakura injured from her fight with Shin (the weirdo with the multiple sharingan ) he barely shows any concern, he's just like 'yeah, you can heal yourself, whatever'. At the end of the arc when he's leaving again, he just gives her a look and doesn't even bother with a forehead poke (and it's not a signal of love like SS fans like to believe).

SS is a trash ship and not because of Sasuke who got dragged into it against his will, ruining his character in the process, but solely because of Sakura. She's not the victim just cause she's a girl, ya'll. She's the active perpetrator. If the roles were switched and Sasuke was the one obsessively chasing Sakura everyone would recognize that behavior as toxic and criminal, but just because she's the one doing it and Sasuke constantly refused her she's a victim? Utter bs, lol.

[oshygoshy]

what genre of tiktok brain rot do they watch (aka just things that pop up on my fyp)

word count - 1,054 words

warnings - not proofread also wrote this at 3 am so probably doesn't make sense

a/n - in honor of tiktok getting banned in the states. fly high, fellow americans. unfortunately i seriously need to Lock In so i am NOT redownloading any other app. i need to focus on school (desperate). feel free to add on your own headcanons too!

karasuno 

daichi - that one construction building meme like with the galvanized steel beams and wood veneers or whatever 

suga - whiteboard marker ink test videos

asahi - sticker room decorating like where they have the little tweezers and place the sticker down perfectly every time (tried to buy a pack of them for himself bc they seemed relaxing but actually just got more stressed from trying to place them down perfectly  first try. they're sitting half opened in his drawer)

noya - 3d ai art (animal fusions are his fave)

tanaka - those slideshows that are like "where are u shitting the hardest tag ur bro"

kageyama - volleyball videos. this man does not have a social media presence whatsoever. he is so disconnected 

hinata - anime edits with brazilian phonk music 

tsukki - car crash videos ("bikers fault") sprinkled in with the occasional study vlog. also on reels not tiktok. 

yamaguchi - “your month your x” videos and sends the ugly ones to the gc always (yk how december is always a harlot and kageyama’s bday is in december?)

yachi - girl group idol fancams. makes study blogs on a side account. tsukki knows but doesn't tell her. he likes & follows (under a blank account with no pfp or anything duh) 

kiyoko - makeup grwm, nail art videos

nekoma 

kuroo - skibidi toilet rizz brain rot (unironically, for some reason it's always the smart stem majors studying the hardest shit with the most intense brain rot) or idk like those math edits that actually cook. like i've seen actual edits to the pythagorean theorem 

kenma - streamer clips, new video games news, etc. watches maxwell the cat ravage the block and sends them to kuroo. he enjoyes them as well. 

yaku - cooking videos, NOT asmr - very clear distinction. like newt on tiktok. funny and also helpful voiceovers

lev - skibidi toilet rizz brain rot (this time genuinely just brain rot, not studying stem) or gym videos 

aoba josai 

oikawa - volleyball. except this time he is connected to the internet unlike kags, he's just Addicted To That Grind so he consumes vb content on his downtown. or mercury cream depotting videos (my fave tbh i want to eat it so bad)

iwaizumi - makes the occasional gym videos and always blows up bc he's hot and oikawa is for sure jealous 

mattsun - those alien videos that's like blowing up the earth with a ray gun or something and the entire comment section goes "bleep blorp zop?" yk??? and always sends them to makki 

makki - matches his freak and always replies with "dw pookster daddy can handle it🐺🥀⛓️❤️🖤" and sends the exact same shit back to mattsun 

kunimi - matcha making aesthetic asmr videos (hates matcha though)

kindaichi - sports videos as a whole he kinda dabbles in them all (is confused why kunimi watches matcha when he hates matcha)

fukurodani

bokuto - animal video compilations (so cute!!)

akashi - booktok and literature, new manga & book releases. hates on coho but overall mature with his booktok takes

konoha - pokemon nuzlocke/competitive clips. highkey has no idea what's going on (same) but enjoys them nonetheless. tried to make a competitive team once, and immediately got lost (ev? like the little fox guy?)

shiratorizawa

ushijima- does not have tiktok or insta, but still watches the videos tendou sends him tho 

tendou - i feel like random shit in general but likes horror/true crime/cave exploding stories

semi - hair salon videos…like hair styling. the more alternative the better 

shirabu - school memes but is a haughty pre-med biology student and always likes the ones that are complaining abt how hard stem is, esp compared to humanities. sorry not sorry there's always gotta be that one kid 

goshiki - dog grooming videos. he wishes somebody could apply that level of care to his own hair bc wtf is going on top of his head 

inarizaki 

atsumu - artificially likes a bunch of random shit that he doesn't gaf abt to make his fyp seem all aesthetic and cool. in actuality doesn't go on social media ever bc 1.) his pr manager has begged him not to, at least without checking in first, and 2.) genuinely just On That Grind and isn't on his phone much to begin with 

osamu - coloring videos. loves hearing the sound of the marker scratching against the paper

suna - this man's screen time is insane. mostly spent on soap-cutting videos 

kita - the chickens in his backyard coop. his farm doesn't have wifi. 

aran - those what i fed my dog videos except it's those raw-fed dogs that are given like kangaroo bones and bear hearts and shit. actually insane diets they eat so much better than me. watches them as he eats like a microwaved tv meal and feels kinda sad abt himself 

extra schools

hoshiumi- clips of nature documentaries/movies. always tries to find the rest of the movie on the account, but they never post the entire movie and gets really pissed abt ending on a cliffhanger everytime 

hirugami - "what i cooked for my husband, john, after his 12 hour shift today: traditional british pea and carrot soup" and it's deep fried, frozen. and salty. ifykyk!!

daishou- twitter arguments with temple run in the background (also video always ends with "pluh!" ifykyk)

sakusa - aita videos omgggg he loves them sm. for one, it feels like gossiping which he loves (don't tell me he doesn't love gossip, 1.) he's cousins with motoya AND 2.) chided hinata for collapsing IN A HIGH SCHOOL match which?? did he even see that himself??? like karasuno wasn't against itachiyama for that match, AND THEN brought it up to hinata when they were both in msby - aka THEIR PROFESSIONAL CAREERS. he remembered a little mishap from like 6 years ago, and that’s the first thing he brings up to hinata?? not even a hello???? he TOTALLY remembers & holds a grudge) and two, it gives him something to listen to while doing his 10 step skincare routine 

komori - mukbangs. sends the messiest ones to sakusa every time, and gets blocked for an hour every time as well 

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH45

Slumber party!

Fair, but consider: She deserves a little murder. As a treat.

Kabru be like "IS THAT MY BACKSTORY???"

That sure is....a ship. With no one on it.

Ah, shit the Americans are here.

Two things: Toshiro being tended to like a pretty pretty princess is hilarious.

And also, the fact that they think the elves can kill Falin......... hmmm.... Pressing X to doubt.

............... oh. Laios. 😂

But also like. How was he MEANT to keep it silent? Put a little something in it? I thought since it was a magic bell you could code it to only ring when it's shaken with INTENT?

Fancy ass house.

Also, Namari...........are you hitting that yet? Both of that?

Oh, it's backstory time.

Okay one: that's fucking tragic, it sounds like the Elves are just forcing the dungeons closed with no regard for how the ecosystem compensates and what people suffer by being in close proximity......

And another thing: Kabru. Kabru, isn't that what YOU'RE after? Having all the power?

Why is this so much like that one meme where the girls at the party are looking at you.

It's the same picture.

Kabru that's. That's maybe not the way to go about it. you're going to give them MORE reasons to go in.

Nevermind the governor not being into this 'good boy, now sign' talk, Toshiro's kinda right. Ya fucked up Kabru.

No matter how far Laios runs, he cannot escape other people trying to tell him how to live his life. Poor guy. But at the same time...

Is this real? Or a red herring?

Laios' father and mother seemed to be living relatively pious lives. They clearly had a good house, but it didn't seem like they were extremely rich. Then again, perhaps he's just a cousin of royalty? Is that why his parents wanted him to have children?

They want to.... halt the growth of the dungeon? Is this another part of the natural ecosystem of things? Dungeons growing seems to point even more towards the idea that it's a gigantic, fleshpit-like creature instead of simply a construct.

Then again, constructs CAN be creatures. Like the golems.

Elves not understanding how old humans are continues to be hilarious because like.

As humans, we HAVE this same concept of variant aging. Like. Dogs. We understand that dogs live less than us, and mature a lot slower. But this is.... COMMON KNOWLEDGE. Most people do not make it into adulthood without understanding that dogs mature within 1-2 years of their birth.

The fact that elves, a species with FAR more time on their hands, who have lived alongside other races for AGES....... have STILL not got the general concept of aging down....means their education is atrocious. Or they're all not paying attention.

.......this. THIS is the most fascinating concept in this chapter.

The fallen.... turned into MONSTERS.

We know that dying inside the dungeon doesn't mean permanent death. But dying above-ground does.

We know that dying in the dungeon doesn't mean your body turns into a monster (aside from ghosts and ghouls?) ..... but dying aboveground.... DOES......?

WHAT'S THE TRUTH.

👁👁

Hm.

If Kabru and Laios fused, they could almost make one functioning human being.

Senshi just beginning to speak in the middle of his own internal monologue is so real.

...... what's going on there with the expression, buddy?

Bread.......are they STILL carrying around flour with them?! How are they getting bread?!

Also, it's awesome that the eggs are canonically hard to crack, because it makes sense that they don't break during their many fighting events.

Izutsumi really said ◉_◉

Don't tell me Laios, who is sensitive to ghosts has ALSO been seeing things?

Not gonna lie, that's highkey terrifying.

Props to that ghost that's been following Laios around, not ever giving up hope that it can bother him into acknowledging it.

And also - hey, it already saved them once! that means it's probably not evil!

That, or it's the king of the bloody dungeon. Wouldn't that be something!

[tiktowafel]

hi and hello i'm back from the dead here are some 1b quirk headcanons (that may or may not contradict canon but i'm too lazy to check everything)

Kuroiro

dad had a very limited phasing quirk, mom had an ink quirk. neither had #000000 skin that part kinda came out of nowhere

despite obviously being connected to his ability it's just a mutation that appeared along with it and isn't required for the quirk to be usable -what i mean by this is that Monoma's skin doesn't turn black when he copies it

it's. a really confusing quirk mechanics wise. Kuroiro himself isn't exactly sure how it works, it just does and thinking about it too hard makes his head hurt lol

he can merge into dark surfaces. doing so doesn't increase the weight of the object he's merged into. it's like he straight up disappears.

when he fully submerges himself in a shadow, he finds himself in kind of a black void in which he can move freely (without using his muscles, i think. just zooms around somehow...) and which he can leave whenever he wants through the same surface he used to enter or another one connected to it. is it some sort of super limited alternate dimension that he can enter through shadows?? PERHAPS

since he doesn't lose his clothes when he uses his quirk, he has to be able to bring objects into the darkness with him. i imagine he can do it with all things that aren't living (them being black is not necessary because it seems to work with white shoes and bracelets) and as long as they're touching him - if he lets go of an object while in a shadow, it will just fall out. therefore his quirk can be used for transporting things, but not for storing them.

you can also explain him not losing his clothes by them being mirio style dna fabric but that's the more boring option so screw that

when jumping out of a shadow, his speed matches that at which he was moving inside of it. i think it would be cool if he could build up speed while moving through a shadow and then just SHOOT out of it and kick someone real hard

Pony

Pony actually has "two quirks" - the one that gives her horns and the ability to shoot them (inherited from her dad) and the one that gives her the appearance of a horse/pony (inherited from her mom). it's registered as "horn cannon" for the same reason why Tokoyami's quirk isn't "raven" and Mina's isn't "pink alien thing" - it's a passive mutation quirk so it gets "overwritten" by horn cannon, which is more "active" - does this make sense?

thanks to her secondary quirk Pony is much stronger than the average person and can run really fast when on all fours. she can also neigh like a horse, digest celulose a bit better than average and sleep while standing. it's... not much besides that

Pony's horn cannon quirk requires keratin to function, because it's what her horns are made of. regrowing her horns too many times causes her to suffer from keratin deficiency, worsening the condition of her hair, skin, nails and hooves

most telekinetic quirks cause headaches when overused, but Pony's ability to control her horns is very minor so that drawback doesn't really affect her

Kendo

her quirk is a mix of her parents quirks - her mom can extend her fingers and her dad has superhuman strength in his arms

enlarging her hands increases their weight a lot, but Kendo's abilities don't suffer from that because her back and arms are naturally extremely strong as an adaptation to her quirk (she can beat everyone in the class at quirkless hand wrestling - it's highkey unfair, but she can)

however, she still sometimes ends up with lower back pains if she uses her quirk too much

Setsuna

her dad does have a lizard quirk (that actually gives him a tail that he's able to detach and regenerate), but her mom's quirk is actually more similar to Setsuna's. it basically lets her detach and re-attach parts of her body along predetermined lines, and lacks the regenerative abilities

her quirk makes her basically indestructible because it lets her regenerate any destroyed or injured body part, plus she seemingly doesn't even need any of her organs to be connected to each other. her only weak point is her head, attacking it is the only way to knock her out (or kill her)

her head/brain is also her "core" - she can only regenerate body parts that are connected to her brain. i'll use the final exams as an example - if she managed to get her whole head outside the gate, she would be able to regenerate her whole body around it and pass (she would probably pass out from exhaustion, but still). however if she only got some other body part, like one of her arms outside the gate she wouldn't be able to do that because the arm isn't connected to the brain. hope you get what i mean lol

in-universe, her quirk probably isn't censored with black, so i'm guessing it looks quite gory and tends to freak people out when they see it for the first time. an upside to this is that thanks to having to deal with the sight of it on a daily basis, no one in class 1-B has to worry about the shock of first seeing gruesome injuries during hero work. they're all desensitized through safe means👍

a drawback that is shared by most regeneration quirks is that due to the rapid cell division that occurs when regenerating body parts, she is at a high risk of developing cancer. however that's far less troublesome than it sounds, as she can always just painlessly detach the cancerous part and grow a new healthy one. doctors hate this one weird trick or something

as you can probably tell from my art, i really like the headcanon that her skin looks kinda patchwork-y because her regenerated pieces are never exactly the same as the original body parts

due to those imperfections, she's extra careful about her brain pieces bc it's such a complicated organ that the tiniest change in its structure can seriously mess things up. like cause memory loss or personality changes, setsuna finds that terrifying and honestly who wouldn't!!

Tsuburaba

another 50/50 mix - his mom can create colorful smoke/mist with her breath and his dad can produce a glass-like liquid from his skin and solidify it at will

i gotta admit that i'm not sure what the "solid air" actually should be. if it was actual solid air, it would be incredibly cold, unless there's some pressure fuckery happening here. and since i kind of don't understand that hypothetical pressure fuckery i generally prefer to think that it's some different substance that's a solid in normal conditions and was just named "solid air" because the way it's created makes it seem like it.

while the amount of solid air he can create does depend on his lung capacity, the quirk itself doesn't give him any extra amount of it. in other words he has the lungs of a regular athletic teenage boy, nothing special

his actual "quirk factor" is his throat, using his quirk too much first dries it up, then proceeds to damage its walls, which can result in him not being able to use his quirk for a while. throat damage due to external factors does the same thing

he can make the stuctures created with his quirk disappear at will. it's not required, but he likes to snap his fingers when doing so. makes it look cooler.

he's only ever been shown to create stationary structures, but i like to think that he can also make mobile ones (in other words i think he should be able to make solid air weapons and tools because that's cool)

Tetsutetsu

exact copy of his mom's quirk. gotta go with the joke

along with the temperature resistance, inability to regulate his hardness and dependence on iron consumption, another difference between his quirk and Kirishima's is that turning into steel also significantly increases his weight, which allows him to hit harder at the cost of slowing him down a little

the wiki says that it was never clarified what "iron consumption" means, so it's up to me to decide - i think they meant that he needs to eat food that contains iron, judging by the fact that the (stereotypically!) rich in iron spinach is his favorite food. i don't think he eats the actual metal, lol

even when his quirk is off, his hair is slightly affected by it at all times, which makes it resemble thin metal wires. he styles it by bending it with his hands

Reiko

since it's an extremely basic quirk, i think she also directly inherited it from one of her parents i don't have concepts for them so idk which one oof

she can only use her quirk on entire objects, not parts of them

while she doesn't have to always keep the objects she's manipulating in her field of view, she has to see them in order to "pick them up" in the first place

i believe that the "can only lift things that weigh less than an average person" limitation she has in canon is supposed to explain why she doesn't just use it to throw people around, and yeah that makes sense. what doesn't make sense is why she can't pull them by their clothes instead, so i'm going to make up an explanation for that too - clothes are usually pretty thin, so trying to grab them without also grabbing the person themselves and therefore exceeding the weight limit usually requires quite a lot of precision, which Reiko doesn't have (yet - one day she'll learn, i imagine)

the term "weight limit" is a simplification, it's actually a mass limit. in other words when she can't lift something it's not because can't exert a strong enough force to counteract its weight, but because she can't manipulate this much matter at once. she wouldn't be all-powerful in space or when cooperating with ochako

speaking of the force that she can apply to objects, it can be pretty insane if she concentrates hard enough for a long enough time

she doesn't actually need to move her hands to use her quirk, but it helps her focus and visualize its effect better

as it's a major telekinetic ability, overusing her quirk gives Reiko headaches

(i'm making up so many rules and limitations because telekinesis is a BROKEN ability if you think about it enough lol)

Shiozaki

mix of her dad's ability to speed up plant growth and her mom's ability to manipulate her hair

since her vines are green, it's safe to assume they contain chlorophyl and therefore are able to photosynthetize. however, due to the way they're shaped, i doubt it's very efficient (bad surface area to volume ratio), so i suppose Ibara has to provide most of the nutrients herself. in other words i think she eats way more than the average person and drinks more water, too

failing to provide those will cause her ability to extend and move her vines to suffer, and in more extreme cases, they will just fall off. she can regrow them when that happens, but it takes time.

while theirs are obviously very different from ours, plants do have senses, and Ibara can use those plant senses of her vines as kind of an extension of her own

Kamakiri

another exact copy, of his mom's quirk this time. she actually used to be a pro hero, too (one day i might elaborate on this)

it does come with the innate desire to cut things, however thanks to his mom sharing the same quirk he received proper support so it never grew into a problem. on the other hand despite seeming scary, it's not that much to handle. he just satisfies that desire by cutting vegetables lol

by default his blades are extremely sharp, but if he focuses hard enough he can make them more blunt and less lethal

unrelated to the blades, but due to part-bug biology, he's much lighter than you'd expect someone of his posture to be.

and that's it for today~ i do have thoughts about the others' quirks but i felt like they weren't coherent enough to put here lol. maybe another day? also if anything here directly contradicts canon or if you just have other ideas, you are more than welcome to share your thoughts, i really like discussing quirks :]

[ramblinscramblin]

Hey there! I read your headcanons and they are pretty cool! I wanted to ask for small headcanons myself

Sniper, Scout and Pauling discovers that reader is a vampire! How will they react?

Reader can be any pronounce you want. You can do romantic or platonic, whatever is comfortable with you!

-💀🌌

→With a vampire!Reader!

Genre: fluff, a lil silly

Characters: Sniper, Scout, and Pauling Warning: canon typical gore.

I love love love this request, thank you so much! This was kind of a hard prompt to get ideas for for some reason. Also I’ve actually never written for Pauling before, let’s hope I get her right!

Sniper

Sniper took note of your gloomy and loner disposition right away.

It’s part of the reason he bothered getting close to you in the first place.

He’s observant so he probably noticed everything separately even if he hadn’t fully put it together yet. Definitely took note of your fangs.

The dislike of garlic, avoiding the sun, never seen eating anything, never seeming flushed or red, your sunken in look, everyone sort of already joked about it.

So he wasn’t all too shocked when you told him.

I honestly imagine he feels pretty threatened by you.

He is generally distrusting of people normally, so you being a night stalking blood drinking beasty doesn’t do much to quell his anxieties.

Couldn’t help but feel intrigued though, can't help but feel compelled by you, even despite his reservations he can't really keep away for long.

The idea of a vampire I feel like would be something he would be very attracted too, the thrill of it all kind of excites him. Of course he doesn't say that, or act on it very often, but you know it anyways.

Idk if this is an out of character headcanon but I highkey think Sniper is a monster fucker.

Supplies you with blood if he sees your low, enjoys how much you brighten after a drink.

Overall finds you very fasicnating, likes learning how to manage life as a vampire

Scout

Scout thinks you're messing with him until the moment he watches you drain the blood from a civilian.

Cautious with the kinds of jokes he makes after that.

He guesses it does kind of make sense in retrospect, you did have a sort of dark air about you.

Honestly finds it so sick, thinks of you as sort of his personal gaurd dog at night, wouldn't say that outloud but internally yes.

He generally would treat you about the same, vampire or not.

If we're talking old timey vampires here finds it hilarious that you can't enter a space without explict permission, will torture you by not inviting you into a room as he walks right through.

Thinks you turning into a bat is one of the coolest things, honestly big jealous vibes from Scout, he wishes he was a big cool vampire too.

It’s a fantasy of his for you to drink some of his blood, is too proud/paranoid to ever say it out loud. But you don’t miss his little sighs as he looks at your fangs.

Secretly dreams of you turning him too, so very secretly.

Pauling

Was honestly so overworked she hardly even noticed.

"Huh? What did you say? Oh yeah, yeah that's nice," she said with a polite nod one day, burying a group of hippies as she did so.

Just enjoys having someone with her during the night, like Scout wouldn't realize you were serious until she sees you feed, once she does it's like a start up noise.

Genuinely uses you as an asset in her work, you turning into a bat and flying is amazing for locating survivors, youre such a big help!

Like I said enjoys the nightly company more than words can describe, she loves quality time.

Really enjoys your darker aesthetic and sometimes thinks you're way too cool to be spending all your time with her.

Will make sure you're always fed, you never have to worry about going hungry while Pauling is around.

If you've been around a few generations wants to hear what life was like before she was around, how it felt to live in a vastly diffrent time period. Finds it so intresting to hear about!

Ohhh boy I hope this is okay anon! Like I said it was kind of hard to think of things to write about for some reason,,, I hope this was good! I had a lot of fun writing it even despite the trouble I had.

[prettyboypistol]

TF2 Mercs Reacting to You Telling Them You're Autistic || TF2 x Reader (shitpost kinda)

(dw i can write this i got the 'tism)

Scout

IMMEDIATELY regrets saying the r slur in front of you a lot.

Will beat up anyone who makes fun of you for not being social.

As soon as you start listing the symptoms of autism everything makes a lot more sense.

Is a lot more accomidating for your meltdowns.

Engineer

"lmao same, you think a neurotypical could get 11 PhDs?"

Kinda already knew you were autistic, but waited for you to tell him to actualy speak about it.

Likes listening to your hyperfxations like a podcast while he works. (if he pays full attention he can't help but kiss you until you stop talking, god, you're just so cute when you get excited!!!!)

Demoman

"tf is autism"

"oooh ok i thought you were just cooky." /pos

honestly doesn't really react or care, but he keeps it in mind when he does things that might cause an adverse reaction.

Tavish just treats you like another human, which is honestly a breath of fresh air.

Heavy

"tf is autism" pt.2

probably doesn't understand what you mean, but gets the jist of it.

likes watching you stim/hyperfocus natural geographic style

has narrated over you without you noticing.

Pyro

that mf autism incarnate

makes the most offensive jokes about being autistic that only you two would understand.

they're so happy you understand their texture aversion to anything but thier suit.

"damn, you're gay AND autistic? pick a struggle"

Soldier

"AUTISM? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

after getting it explained "THAT'S NOT AN ISSUE, EVERYONE ACTS LIKE THAT"

ADHD/Autism friend dynamic fr

He gets frustrated easily with aversions, but will be understanding.

Spy

"I could tell the moment you walked into the room for the first time."

can 100% read your needs when you can't verbalize.

he doesn't surprise you and likes the fact the he knows vaguely where you are at all times because of your routines.

Medic

"oh shit me too"

hyperfixates on your hyperfixations

highkey wants to study you

Sniper

Doesn't really get it, but is mindful of it, def picks up books from the library to read up on how to make someone feel more comfortable when they have autism.

understands social aversions, he completely gets it.

picky eating is the biggest vibe, snipes wouldnt care if he ate the same meal every day for the rest of his life.

[lassieposting]

Fucking. Obsessed. With this.

Because like. I know a lot of people love the whole "Astarion has babies with their Tav and is a wonderful daddy" headcanon, and that's fair - y'all do you. But personally? I can't see it. That man would be an appalling father, imo. Astarion doesn't like kids. And that's okay! (Unlike kicking them for shits and giggles which, while often tempting and undeniably hilarious, is. Really mean.) Anyway. My point: not everyone, in fiction or real life, needs to like or have kids.

But what I fucking love about this interaction is that like. He cares. He very clearly cares, and he sucks ass at trying to hide it. He's concerned for her safety. And, since this is a man who very deliberately tries not to care about anything other than his own survival, lest it be used against him, that implies a pretty impressive level of effort on Yenna's part. He would indulge Tav's worry either way, but I don't think he'd be too bothered himself unless she'd gone out of her way to befriend him. And honestly, that makes sense - she's a sweet, gregarious kid who isn't put off by being snarked at. Kids in general tend to love people with big personalities, which Astarion does. Kids tend to attach themselves to people who'd really rather they kept their distance, which Astarion does. And kids tend to admire and look up to people who seem impossibly classy and clever and worldly-wise, which Astarion would at her age.

This kid, behind the scenes, has been spending time with Astarion. Being nice to him. Maybe asking him questions or trying to talk to him about stuff. She's spent enough time with him that he's started to care.

And y'all know what dynamic I love? Deeply reluctant big brother Astarion.

From what we see of the seven vampire spawns and how they interact, we know the following:

Astarion is one of, if not the, oldest. He says he was one of Cazador's first spawn, but all the ones we see defer to him, so it's possible he's the oldest surviving spawn - I wouldn't put it past Cazador to permakill one that was no longer of use to him. That means he would've found himself in the unenviable position of having to help newly-turned siblings adjust to a traumatic and deeply abusive lifestyle. Considering he was in the same boat, he probably wasn't all that nice about it. But they would likely have relied on him to teach them survival tactics anyway - how to keep Cazador happy, how to say and do the right things to not rock the boat.

The spawns do have some degree of familial attachment to one another. It's a highkey toxic, trauma-based attachment, but it is there. Astarion tells Tav, "At least you've met my family now," and snaps at one of Cazador's servants, "I won't be ordered about in my own home." He calls Dalyria by a nickname, and she expresses concern that he came back when, "You got out, you were free." She clearly believes that he cares for her enough to stop hurting Petras when she begs him ("Brother, please!").

Astarion wants to protect. We see this most with Tav, but there are a couple of lines that suggest that he - like so many older siblings in abusive family situations - knows that his presence, his role as the primary target of Cazador's possessive, violent obsession, has shielded his siblings to some (paltry, piss-poor) extent over the years. Cazador likes to break his toys, and as long as there is still some fight in Astarion, he'll remain the warped and twisted "favourite" - the one Cazador likes to torture and torment the most. He knows that with him gone, they will become the new targets of their master's rages ("Now that I'm gone, well...I pity the other six.")

Anyway. What I'm getting at is that while I can't see Astarion ever serving any kind of fatherly role for Yenna - or for anyone, really - I feel like he'd step fairly easily into the reluctant older brother role with which he is so familiar. That's what he knows.

Like, he will absolutely be snarky and snide with her, because that's who he is. He's spent most of his life in an environment where the only people he got to spend time with, aside from his targets, were his siblings, and they served as rivals and threats more than friends and loved ones. Anyone Astarion isn't actively seducing tends to get his bitchy side. But at the same time, gods help anyone else who picks on her. Only he gets to do that.

He will whine and complain if he's asked to keep an eye on her. But he will do it, begrudgingly, and if she catches him in a particularly good mood he might even come up with a vaguely age-appropriate activity to keep her entertained ("I don't suppose anyone ever bothered to teach you to play whist.")

[knightfcll]

beckoning scorch

gojo x reader (primarily), 0.9k

content notes: gender neutral reader, suggestive but not explicit touching, reader is a sorcerer and described as reckless multiple times, gojo is highkey just feelin y'all up, no concept of personal space here, implied nanami x reader in the sense of unspoken and unrequired (or is it oooooh oooh intrigue) feelings, though their relationship is outwardly antagonistic

The curse dies in a storm of fire and smoke. You stagger in the aftermath. Nanami is at your side instantly, with a steady and furrowed brow. The ringing in your ears is a miserable, piercing shriek, but it covers the sound of Nanami's chastising.

The ride back is quiet, other than the occasional bit of radio static. Nanami keeps it tuned to the same station, no matter where he's driving, during business hours. You're in too much pain to bother making fun of him this time.

Nanami walks you inside when you arrive. His hand doesn't leave your elbow until you're sitting down in the infirmary, when he shuffles off to go look for Shoko. The pain forces you to start rifling around for a cold compress.

It takes you what feels like forever to find the compress, reminding you again that medics aren’t always the most organized people. A few rhythmic taps at the door pull you from your thoughts. You’re about to call out that Shoko isn’t in yet when it opens and you find Gojo grinning before you. Your heart skips.

Dumbfounded, you can only shake his hand as he enters. It’s a loose thing, a not too firm noncommittal grip that doesn’t leave you wincing but does make you wonder if you’d even touched him at all.

“Nice work out there.”

Praise from Satoru Gojo is a thing some sorcerers would kill for, the way he’s worshipped. You're not as weak in the knees about it, present circumstances notwithstanding.

You press the compress tighter to your knee and mumble a weak thanks.

“Let me hold that.” Suddenly, Gojo slips his hand under yours, keeping pressure with seemingly far less effort than you had needed. He’s giving you an easy smile when you look at him, one of those bastard grins Nanami makes fun of loud enough for the students to hear.

You can’t see his eyes. He’s still wearing his protective shades and his once wild hair now hangs loosely over his forehead. Allegedly, they’re a rather brilliant blue.

“Say,” Gojo starts, experimentally stretching a finger past the barrier of the compress, just barely hovering over the raised hairs on your leg, “Nanami's gone off to manage some particulars, yeah? He gonna mind if I steal you for a bit?"

He smells nice; not strong, it’s no cologne you recognize, but something clean. Undoubtedly…pure.

“Kento doesn’t care what I do.”

Gojo clicks his teeth. “I don’t think that’s true.” He presses harder now, enough that you can start to feel a freeze deep in your skin.

Gojo slips his hand away and begins tending to the rest of you. He’s very physical, when he’s allowed to be. He glides over faded scars and fresh scrapes. Some of them still hurt, even when his smooth fingertips just barely graze you.

“He doesn't. And if he did, it's because I make it harder for him to clock out on time.”

“Of course, of course."

You don't understand what Gojo thinks he's getting at. Nanami does not like you. He wears his heart on his sleeve and never pulls his punches, especially where you're concerned. Telling you about his day before ripping into you for your carelessness is just how he is.

Gojo brushes a sore spot at your back and you gasp, lurching forward into his waiting embrace. He soothes you, rubbing gently this time, like a big dog who’s forgotten his own strength. Or, is it you that’s become forgetful?

“Sorry, sorry. Bad bruise?”

“It’s fine. I should have let it heal more before going out today.”

You feel the hum in Gojo’s chest before you hear it, cheek flush against his chest. You shouldn’t be able to hear his heartbeat like this, pressed up against him like an eavesdropping child.

“You’re reckless, aren’t you?”

You’ve been told that. Shoko swears you’re trying to make her life harder. Nanami…he’s as blunt with you as anyone else, but your carelessness seems to be the one thing that makes him truly angry.

“I’m a sorcerer,” you say, settling in to Gojo’s touch. He’s thumbing over a bruise at your waist. “Not really easy to be safe.”

Gojo laughs, leaning closer. He takes a deep breath just as his nose brushes your skin. “I guess not.” Gojo does not know danger as you have. Guessing is the only thing he can do.

The room falls silent. He makes a show of bandaging a scrape by your elbow, eyeing it like he’s a doctor performing a difficult surgery and not just making cartoonishly slow movements as he covers it. You don’t appreciate how much space he takes until he steps back to admire his handiwork. He peels off of you like a second skin.

“Right, that should do it. Now,” Gojo straightens his back and pushes up imaginary glasses, “I prescribe you lots of rest and ice pops. Don’t come back.”

“Doctors don’t just say it like that.”

Gojo laughs, a full body thing that has him doubling over and dropping his skit. He thinks he’s funny. Nanami’s right about that.

“Ah, maybe they should.”

He slinks out the same way he came in, shifting again from the solid rock of a man you expect to the space invading serpent he is. You hear him chatting further down the hall; Nanami’s in his clutches, now, from the sound of Gojo’s sighs.

His scent still lingers in the air. Tentatively, you pull the collar of your shirt and inhale. Dirt and grass, mostly, with the faintest hint of clean laundry. Fresh linens, rarely stained or shredded, even in the field.

For once, you’d like to see him bruise.

[squeezysreservoirofcookies]

random athf hcs

i know characters dying but reviving next ep/no continuity is the norm, but when it comes to steve, it would not surprise me if dr. weird had a large collection of steve clones that he just goes through for the lulz. he never has to hire new peeps so it's just convientient

plutonians purr like cats do and for the same reasons, but the purr sounds like a combo of a cat, a dove's coo, and a gutteral rattle

Carl: 6', Frylock: 5'3", Shake: From bottom to cup lid 5' but to the bend of the straw it's 6', Meatwad: 2', Oglethorpe: 5'9", Emory: 7', Ignigknot: 3', Err: 1', MC Peepants (Big Spider Mode): 8', Dr. Weird: 6'6", Steve: 5'9" for some heights

shake's pistachio milkshake power works like snake venom in that he can only shoot out a certain amount of it until he empties out, and that it takes a lot of energy/nutrients to regenerate it. not that it changes anything bc he'd still be a depraved omnivore of a sentient milkshake w/o the setback but uh. OH yea and it is edible, enough to fill a route 44 from sonic to the top, but you'd have to ask REAL nice or be hyper sweet to him if you wanna get it but no guarantee. plus hed prolly spit in it or immediately toss it to the ground

frylock's fries are also edible but it genuinely hurts him if you eat it bc while it is sorta like his hair, some also have bones in them and are basically like our hands/arms. maybe if he shoots his fries at you like in the movie it would be ok, but you'd get hurt af and it's the same w shake in that he cant use it too much bc it takes a lot of biological resources & energy to regenerate. if he wants to cut his hair he can take certain pain mediation for it.

DO NOT EAT MEATWAD. 1.) if u do ur a monster but 2.) it may be ground meat but it's got garbage, sand, broken down bits of food, dirt, poop?, pee, parasites, the whole 9 yards so unless ur a animal or if you want to shit ur organs and skeleton out bc ur that desperately hungry then go ahead ig

meatwad works through slime logic in that he can't actually die unless hes been atomized/obliterated completely/eaten whole then yea hes dead. he just needed some time to recuperate dw abt it. not to mention he can also eat just abt anything in any amt. also he knows every aspect of the skibidi toilet lore, but only some major details on the fnaf lore but do NOT ask him abt reminant and fazgoo cuz he'll just stare at you blankly

the mooninites used neil armstrong's footprints on the moon as their restroom

carl doesn't know what an anime is but if he did knew what it was he would absolutely be a fan of it (even if he'd hide it in shame). you dont wanna know what else.

shake sucks at sports in general and anything that requires physical activity, he prefers to watch it on his seat instead. he is physically strong when he's prepared to fight, but if you catch him by surprise he's a complete bitch. actually hes a complete wuss in general when it comes to trying to fight anyone bigger/aggressive than himself. if him and his girl get mugged while walking in the middle of the night he's tossing her at the robber and running (jumping) away. but anyone weaker/smaller/meeker is fair game bc ofc

frylock has misophonia (hates the sound of people chewing). anytime he tries to explain it, shake makes a mesothelioma joke. but also it's so intense he will straight up blast you if you dont listen to him, shake had to learn that the hard way

mooninites can only comprehend music in 8 bit/midi. like ignignokt can listen to regular classic rock and be like "fuck yea bro" but through his ears(? head??) it sounds like an 8 bit/midi rendition of it. idk if this is making any sense but the closest i can come up w is that its more like a translation thing

plutonians do poop/excrete?? waste that does act like all purpose cleaner from earth but it smells highkey like rotting eggs and aged cheese, maybe even worse depending on what they've ate

[300iqprower]

thanks for the tl;dr. While I don't agree with all your opinions, I get where you're coming from. Highkey, if you don't mind, what do think of Urobuchi as a writer? I frankly can't stand the man's writings, not only in regards to his "DeCoNsTrUcTiOn" of the magical girl genre with Madoka, but also Fate/Zero and his work on Kamen Rider Gaim.

It's......really hard for me to not blame Urobutcher himself for how Madoka basically killed the entire magical girl genre by causing it to be flooded with edgy tryhard tortureporn.

Like from an objective and analytical standpoint, Madoka is an incredible and meticulously crafted story. ...but subjectively, i fucking hate it, and then on top of that also hate it for what it (again, indirectly) did the genre and really just mainstreem anime in general to a certain, albeit obviously much lesser, degree. I feel like that's an entirely different discussion though, and really it just boils down to a case of "it's good" and "I don't like it" are not mutually exclusive. That's my read anyways.

Fate/Zero i love when watched bit by bit but dont like as a coherent story for much the same subjective reasons I'm personally not a fan of Madoka. For all my negativity I don't actually like nihilistic or cruel stories. Fate/Zero is actually what made me realize that, being the first time I had to as aforementioned go "it's good....but I don't like it." I love pretty much everything that doesn't involve Kerry, which is an issue when the whole story revolves around Kerry.

It's by no means without some serious issues though. Urobutcher wrote Artoria as a completely different character and it causes some serious inconsistencies that had harmful long-term repercussions, the banquet scene is a great setup that as I've discussed before falls completely flat in retrospect because nothing talked about was delivered on, and characters like Abs Hassan and Kariya got beyond wasted, just to name some of my issues with Zero.

But unlike with a LOT of Nasu's writing, actually just FGO writing in general frankly, those flaws don't contradict the ethos of the story. They come across less as contradictions that the writer couldnt be asked to rectify, as much as they do human error and an inability to make everything perfectly coherent and loop back around to the an overarching point. None of the things i've mentioned really detract from the message Fate Zero wants to give. They detract from the quality and consistency of the storytelling, absolutely, but not from the intended purpose of that storytelling. That sort of thing is HUGELY different than something like FGO just making up alternate history to suit it's narrative despite said narrative supposedly being about unity through our shared real world history.

I suppose what it really comes down to is that I don't feel malice or narrow mindedness from Urobutcher's works the way I do from Nasu. Kirei is the best example of this - i'd go so far as to argue Kirei's character didn't have ANY of the depth people now attribute to it before Urobutcher got involved. That's not even a dig at Nasu, that's just how much Urobutcher clearly GETS the kind of character Kirei is [now] meant to be. Same goes for Gilles and Kerry, those are characters that were perfect for someone like Urobutcher to execute (in multiple senses).

Again, Urobutcher is not a flawless writer by any stretch, no one is, and his style is by no means for everyone, because no style SHOULD be universally appealing...but I feel like he very much gives a shit. I feel like whether its all the way back with Fate Zero or his relatively more recent return for Lostbelt 3, Urobutcher gave a shit and did everything with as much purpose as he could. On that ground alone, I'm willing to be a lot more sympathetic to the parts of his writing i don't like, since I can at least convince myself those things (be it intentional choices or simple mistakes) were done in good faith.

[yuri-ray]

No-Spoilers Review #12: There's No Freaking Way I’ll be Your Lover! Unless… (Watashi ga Koibito ni Nareru Wake Naijan, Muri Muri! (Muri Janakatta!?))

Content Warnings: idk it feels pretty weird how Mai can be so insistent

Jesus fuck that title is long. There's No Freaking Way I’ll be Your Lover! Unless… by Mikami Teren and Musshu is a yuri manga series. Basically, the protagonist just wants to have a platonic bestie, while the other lead wants to have her as her girlfriend.

Is it good? Err..........

I kinda don't like it. It's a little funny maybe for like a chapter or two but honestly, it's not that good...? The two leads just don't read as being very likeable to me.

That said, I'm pretty sure I'm not the target audience anymore, so I think it wouldn't be hard for other people to look past the flaws and have fun.

Renako Amaori wants to be a normal popular girl and tried to make her debut as one in high school, only to fail miserably due to a lack of energy. She meets the "perfect" Mai Ouzuka, who she feels she can finally find a friend in. Then Mai confesses her love to her. Renako, who just wanted a best friend, decides to set up a deal where they'll alternate between being besties and being girlfriends to decide which is superior.

From the outset this series concept doesn't seem well-suited to anything longer than a oneshot, and it really shows over time. (I think it's a little disrespectful to imply that you can't like someone as both a romantic interest and a friend. Obviously I don't think that's what the writer actually means to say, but it's still kinda annoying.)

If Renako doesn't want to date, then Mai should really just respect that and quit. At the same time, Renako should be clear with her instead of stringing her along on this stupid agreement. And at the same time, their chemistry feels nearly nonexistent. Mai always seems to be forcing herself on Renako and it's honestly highkey creepy (she keeps cheating the agreement!), but I also just feel bad for Mai because she's literally not being respected...? They basically have nothing in common, so they never actually properly bond as friends or as girlfriends except on an extremely surface-level "we played video games together" type of situation.

In a different series that could be played as being really interesting, having two flawed and egocentric people as the leads, but the cutesy tone of the story makes it seem like this is just normal when it's actually not very healthy, and it's not funny enough to make up for that.

I mean, this is a yuri series. Of course Mai is going to win. But the whole way there feels more like pulling teeth than a funny romcom.

Final Thoughts:

Oh, I've definitely read much worse. The art is all right and the characters aren't so bad that I have to put the book down, but I don't feel like Renako or Mai have actual complex inner worlds. I think this series is just setting out to be a cute silly rom-com, but the leads feel more like they're 2 tropes each and they're being pushed together "because this is a yuri."

That said, you could very well have a different sense of humor to me and/or just straight up be younger than I am, and you'd probably enjoy this. I mean, I'm still reading it.

[bisluthq]

Do you think you and your ex might eventually get back together?

this is going to be long.

see he's still not really my ex. i'm not being funny and this is not in my head but like his term for it is we're 'separated' which like would make sense if we were legally married but we're not lol so idk what he really even means with that but i'm saying it too now. we're both not dating other people. (then again, we also both have a jealousy issue wrt each other so i'm like not 100% confident he's not and i think he's not 100% confident i'm not lol because side effect of two very slutty people falling in love is you never really know if the other person is now not slutty lmao). i think we'd both be very very hurt if we found out the other person has been seeing someone else or even had a one night stand with someone else, but also highkey unsurprised? lol. we also talk every day for fucking ages.

we took two days off this week because i told him i needed space and he's confusing me and i was not doing so great mental health wise so trying to also deal with his fucking problems was just stressing me out even more when i was already stressed about friends (both vicky and susan were stressing me out), my flat (fuck that's still stressing me out), my mum's endless issues (she's been a lot better actually lately but she still has random shit she wants me to do and i'm like "i really, really don't wanna" lol), my dad's been in a pretty dark place lately emotionally, and i'm very stressed about money because the film's wrapping today so then i'll have like... only my private lessons and the content marketing stuff until i find something more longterm again and that'll barely be enough to pay my rent and eat and certainly not enough for all the renovations. so i'm like really stressed and he really wasn't helping at all. he sent me some money which actually stressed me out EVEN MORE because idk like what it's "for" and it was a super random amount and he paired it with "you never have to worry about money ever" and i was like "well that's blatantly untrue???" so whatever, after the money thing i was like "listen you're very confusing to me and i need space" but then this morning we talked again lol and like idk obviously it went pretty great and we talked for like 44 mins lmao because we get along SUPER well and have a very similar sense of humour and very similar things that we find interesting.

so obviously we do BOTH want to reconcile.

the problem is idk how we can go about reconciliation and i think he doesn't know either? we did say that the one time like i said fuck you know i miss you so much and he said like fuck well obviously he misses me too but also how do we even begin to approach fixing this? so one thing i suggested is once my flat is no longer a complete fucking crack den, maybe he can come once or twice a week to hang out. he quite liked that idea. however, it's not SUPER sustainable lol because idk if i want to live the next 40 years with like having him visit once a week or whatever? seems kind of shitty. also i'm not convinced he'll stay here if we're not together tbh because he has been thinking about moving for a while lol and the house stuff was very wrapped up in me so if he's on his own - or even on his own 5-6 nights a week - i don't really see him sticking around. historically he tends to move - like HUGE moves lmao like opposite coast or to another country - when he goes through big breakups so i kinda expect him to do that again if we finalise this.

obviously if we start doing the regular visitation and it goes well, we can maybe move back in with one another (another thing we talked about is maybe getting a new place together so we're not in the same spaces but also he doesn't want to live in the crack den even if it's fixed up haha) but i also think - know, actually - that i need to get a better grip on my mental health to do that. firstly because PEOPLE are a big trigger for me generally, i've realised that now. like i'm generally doing a lot better when i don't have people "helping" me and the moment ANYONE starts "helping" or whatever, i sort of crumble to itsy bitsy pieces idk why and i'll discuss this with my therapist today actually because that's when my appointment is. it's legit very weird. but the moment like when vicky started "helping" with my flat, i really took a nosedive in terms of mental wellbeing. so that's the first thing. i appear to do my best on my own. he likes to "help" me. that's not good for me at this moment.

secondly his lifestyle is not conducive to my mental health tbh.

the one thing that's bad for me is his alcohol use, that's a real biggie, because he DOES drink let's say 13 days out of 14 yk like maybe not EVERY FUCKING DAY but i don't think in the lengthy time i've known this man he's taken more than one day off drinking at a time? he's the only person i know who drinks MORE when they're fucking SICK than less lol. and he doesn't drink necessarily A LOT on most of those days but even NOT A LOT is not great for me with the whole central nervous system stuff. like i really should only be drinking 1/31 days really and minimally at that point, and it's not that easy to do when the person you're with is drinking very frequently. it's then super tempting to be like "ok whatever i'll have a glass too". he's been super supportive of me and sobriety since i started talking about it, and he cut down after like the couples therapist had suggested us both to do that but that was still before my diagnosis and now it's gone from "I want to drink less because it's bad for the relationship because we wind up fighting more and tbf it's quite literal poison and a carcinogen but i smoke like a chimney so carcinogens are my jam idk" to "this can induce episodes and episodes are scary so i shouldn't". idk how we can navigate that one because i don't see him going down to 2/31 even (which i guess i could do) or even 10/31 which i could manage right (that's like 8 occasions he drinks and i don't a month and that's easy lol). problem is he'll always be on like 26+/31. so idk. like. how we manage that. idk how i do 2/31 while he's doing 27/31 let's say unless i go 100% sober but i kinda don't want to do that because it does serve a social and religious tbf function.

it's also not like we can switch to something else together because he doesn't like edibles as they make him sleepy. he likes ME doing edibles because they make me more pleasant, more happy, and also horny lol (not lately tho when i've been doing them solo or even before parties). but idk guys this substance thing is a big one for me. because even with the edibles yk like i've done a ton of research now and it's NOT bad for me and in fact there are studies that show it can help anxiety/sleep/mood disorders/cutting down on alcohol even and I find it does help me with all those things. It does help me sleep more soundly (even paired with the zopiclone I can be restless) and it helps my anxiety and idk if it HELPS the Bipolar because I’m still figuring that out but I feel very calm on it.

but i also just feel quite passionately about needing 10000% sober time? i'm a lot more creative (not necessarily productively so haha i'm maybe more productive after a glass of wine or an edible because i'm less anxious then and when I’m sober I overthink) when i'm sober. i also think i can process a lot of stuff better 100% sober, especially icky stuff. the problem with alcohol is it's just circular and obviously hangovers and stuff suck so then you drink again partly to deal with those symptoms and with edibles idk i've read it's POSSIBLE to get a cannabis hangover but i never do? everything gets all gentle and pretty when i'm stoned but as a result i don't think i'm good at actually ADDRESSING things even though i'm less anxious and maybe as i say more productive and the world looks nicer overall. I feel like in that haze of "life sucks a little less" i struggle to address the things that DO suck and when i sober up, i then need to still deal with them or i need to use substances again to get away from them. because shitty things don't go away because i'm too buzzed to notice them.

anyway, idk i don't want to get back into a pattern - which we were in just before that big showdown with my mum - where he drinks like half a bottle of wine with/around dinner time and i take like two edibles and we watch a film and then we have sex and then we take sleeping pills and go to bed. i don't think that's a very healthy pattern.

the other problem is in terms of how his work schedule works and how he works sorta randomly? and then he'll be SUPER busy and have no time for anything ever and then he'll have fuck all to do and want to hang out during the day and shit. when he works nights he doesn't drink... at night..., but i found i did a lot more of that when he worked nights and again it’s back to the substances because then also he usually drinks during the day before he sits down to work right so what happened last time is i used to start with him then and just continue into the night and that's actually when i really started worrying about my personal alcohol use. anywho. i need a lot of routine per literally every shrink i've spoken to and also my dad and also i NOTICED when i had a very clear routine in april, i did a lot better than probably ever in my adult life. it was very like... idk good. just not hanging out with people much and just being 95% sober and just going to work and then going for my walk and then eating my stuff i planned and all that really helped me. and it's DIFFICULT to have that kind of routine with him and maybe not fair on HIM because it's not like he needs that? he thrives on the chaos. he functions great with alcohol lol. and i kinda thought i did too but i reaaaaalllllly don't.

finally we need to get a fuckton better at managing the money stuff between us. he and i TALKED about it a lot, but we never fully got it to work i don't think. because he evidently had resentments about paying more than me overall and stuff ("i didn't know you were keeping count, but boy you were keeping count") and i now have a fair deal of resentments around all the shit i bought him/paid for ("and the shoes i gave you as a present") that he doesn't appear that grateful for.