#it hurts really badly

[madigoround]

I think I need to take my as needed anxiety med I’m tiptoeing towards a panic attack about my great aunts passing and the idea of having to go back to work when it feels like I just need a break from life for a few months but also tomorrow I’m supposed to receive a call from one of my best leads on a good safe shelter for the last four of her cats to go when the rescue volunteer’s boss gets in tomorrow and it’s always harder for me to wake up after taking it and I may not hear the phone if I’m asleep and wake up in time to answer it and you guys don’t understand how hard I’ve been working to get her cats in good homes or a good no kill shelter

[kyonshi-8610]

腐った牛乳を一気飲みすると床にゲロ吐いちゃったンゴクソ腹いてぇ°(｡˃ ᵕ ˂。)/♪

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[smallerlovelier]

I’m so sad. I can’t stop thinking abt that girl. Why wasn’t I good enough for my girlfriend

[upsidedownsmore]

okay okay takes from today's tennocon

first of all:

PEOPLE KNOW ME??????? LIKE ATTENDEES AS WELL AS DE????

THE WRITING TEAM RECOGNIZED ME AND BROUGHT ME TO THE STAGE TO SIGN MY HOLLOWFRAME PRINT AND THEN REBB MEGAN AND STEVE CAME OUT AND RECOGNIZED ME AND SIGNED IT TOO????

HUH?

and earlier in the day I GOT TO MEET GIANNI AND GET THIS THING SIGNED

he's such an amazing guy and HE'S SO RIGHT THEY ABSOLUTELY ARE KISSING AND THEY ARE DOING SO PASSIONATELY

AND THE ART BOOK

THE FUCKING ART BOOK

I HAVE THE ART BOOK

I OWN ONE

I'M GOING INSANE

legit this trip had been amazing with just how many amazing people I've met, from attendees to creators to DE staff I am blown away by just how positive this community is like holy hell you guys rock

I really need to sleep now but like man I wish I could like telepathically transfer all of my hype and excitement into your guys' skulls cause like words alone can't describe just how crazy this experience has been, love y'all

see you guys for the big day tomorrow :)

[lazylittledragon]

i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.

[froody]

My now deceased distant cousin left a series of nasty 1 star yelp reviews on my dad’s business after he cheated on my mom and tried to fuck her over in the divorce. Not only did they air his dirty laundry but they also highlighted the other reviews that criticized his performance at his job. Did they stay up? No. Was it a moral thing to do? Maybe not. Was it funny? Oh my god yes. Made funnier by the fact she was related to my dad, not my mom. Imagine being publicly reamed out by your long lost cousin who was given up for adoption in the 60s and recently got back in touch with the family.

[arthursfuckinghat]

Arthur Morgan and The Stag 𑁦𐂂𑁦 Saint Denis

[crabussy]

IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING KIND TODAY!!! IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING GENEROUS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE!!! IS ANYBODY ELSE BEING KIND AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN ITS HARD!!! IS ANYONE ELSE ASSUMING THE BEST OF OTHERS INTENTIONS AND RESPONDING IN KIND!!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME

[chunkypossum]

WIP Wednesday I guess 😭😭😭😭… Jesus. This one hurts. I have been working on it all day and I … actually recommend no one reads it. I’m writing it bc I have to.

Question for the class. Is dead dove appropriate for hurt/very little to no comfort, major character death(s) … like… what I tag is what you get with this one

Anyway. Here is a snippet if you’re brave (under the cut … and a little peek at the art I made for it…unedited …

“Your hair is getting long.” Like the observation alone would be enough to break the curse on them, Azriel’s hand rose. He reached out to touch a stray strand that had fallen over Eris’ face, to tuck it behind a pointed ear as he had once done. Before he could feel the resistance that tore his heart to pieces each time he met it, Azriel let his hand drop.

Eris watched his hand fall and looked away without saying anything.

“I’m sure Beron hates it.” Azriel tried again. Hoping to lighten the mood before Eris had to leave. It would be dawn soon and Eris could not be caught sneaking in and out of the Forest House.

When Eris still didn’t say anything, Azriel’s brows drew together in frustration and he sat up. His bones ached with the need to reach out and take Eris’ face in his hands, to shake him and force their eyes to meet. Anything.

Azriel rubbed his scars absentmindedly, and waited.

“Do you remember the last time we were together before…” Eris started, his words quickly trailing away.

“Of course,” Azriel said in hushed tones, afraid of disturbing their small bit of peace with his shaking voice. “That, I could never forget.”

“Before you left that day, you brushed your fingers through my hair.” Eris’ voice, already at a whisper, faltered and Azriel lay back beside him.

“Eris.” Calling for him, Azriel blew a small puff of air toward the other male. The hair he had aimed his breath at lay unmoved. Not even his exhales could enter Eris’ space. “Look at me.”

Azriel waited patiently for Eris to respond, counting the breaths by the rising and falling of his chest. His own chest hurt. After a while, Eris did turn back toward him, eyes glistening with unshed tears. He blinked and let them fall.

“It was the last thing you touched and I-I can’t bear to have it cut.”

The air left Azriel’s lungs and distantly he knew he should be filled with some kind of emotion, rage, sadeness, despair. Yet, there was nothing. Or rather, there were too many feelings coursing through him he couldn’t pick one to focus on. His grief was a coat of thorns, the roses all torn away by time and cruel hands. All of the pain, none of the beauty.

Holla at ya boi if you want on or off the Azris tag train :

@talibunny30 @iftheshoef1tz @born-to-riot @fell-in-luvs @fieldofdaisiies @aktrain @honeysuckle-daydreams13 @secret-third-thing @acourtofladydeath @pippsmcgee @youvereachedthenearest-lovergirl @baileybird71 @skyesayshi @yanny-77 @areyoudreaminof @unanswered-stars @futurehunt @ninthcircleofprythian @matrixsss @going-through-shit @c-starstuff-man0 @jules-writes-stories @the-darkestminds @krowiathemythologynerd @cauldronblssd @hieragalbatorixdottir @yourlazykitkat @hellolordling @christeareads @climbthemountain2020 @lilah-asteria @shadowsandlint @acourtofbatboydreams @theeternalstruggle @christeareads @molcat07

[valtsv]

finally figured out what VAL reminds me of

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

It's weird to expect lb to be able to read cn mind and called her a bad partner for it. But it's even weirder for lb to ignore cn WHEN HES OBVIOUSLY IN DISTRESS and not called her a bad partner for it because I think called her a bad partner for ignoring it is understandable and justified especially since she consider herself as his boss.

Every time I bring up this conflict, I try to make it clear that I don't think Ladybug was blameless, I just think Chat Noir's writing was worse. Let's walk through the problem to show what I mean.

Season four stars with Marinette extremely stressed by her new Guardian status. In Truth and Lies, the first episodes of the season, we get this:

Ladybug: Will you cut it out with the practical jokes? I could have really hurt you! Cat Noir:(answering while hanging by the yo-yo) M'lady, the only thing that really hurts me is when you make me go on patrol by myself. (sighs, relaxing his posture) I even missed your little angry pout. Ladybug: Sorry, Kitty Cat, I'm a bit over my head at the moment. (pulling him up) Cat Noir: I bet! "Guardian of the Miraculous", big name, big responsibility!

This is also the start to Chat Noir communicating poorly. In this episode, he's straight up told that Ladybug is in over her head and he never once asks how he can help. In fact, we even get him saying this when asked how he feels about the change:

Truth: Cat Noir, tell me what- (interupted by Ladybug throwing a present at Truth) Ladybug: (covering her parasol with foil) ...do you think about my new role as guardian! Cat Noir: If it doesn't change things between us, then I'm good with it!

So not a great start to the season. I know people focused on Adrien's terrible treatment of Kagami in these episodes, but this Ladynoir dynamic was actually what rang alarm bells for me. I kept waiting for Chat Noir to offer his support since it was really, really obvious that Ladybug was in over her head since she was late to patrols, the last season literally ended with her losing her mentor figure, and, you know, she straight up told him that was what was going on?

The next episode is Gang of Secrets in which we see Marinette out her identity to Alya. I get why she did this, she needed support and her partner doesn't seem interested in giving it, but she can't say that for certain because she never asked him directly and she should have. Trusting Chat Noir over Alya would have allowed Ladynette to maintain the security of her secret identity - a thing she claimed was more important than ever - and to honor their partnership. At the very least, she should have told Chat Noir that Rena Rouge was now a full time holder so that he could account for that in battle and to minimize the fallout by owning up to her mistake asap. The longer a lie goes on, the worse the truth will hurt.

To Ladybug's credit, she does eventually acknowledge her mistake after the Scarabella incident:

Ladybug: You... must've been pretty surprised to discover there was another holder! (Silence. She sits beside Cat Noir.) Ladybug: I'm really sorry, Cat Noir. I should've told you. I mean, if I found out that you told someone about your secret identity, I'd... probably be upset, too. I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings.

This is a decent apology. She doesn't try to absolve herself of wrong doing. Instead, she acknowledges that what she did would hurt her, too, if the shoe were on the other foot. The only thing she loses points on is the fact that she doesn't tell him about Rena Furtive.

However, instead of agreeing with her and telling her that she has hurt him, Chat Noir says that she did nothing wrong and never once brings up how their weakened partnership is bothering him:

Cat Noir: You didn't hurt my feelings. You did everything right. Paris will always need a Ladybug superhero to watch over her. It's just... I realized that if one day that hero wasn't you, m'lady, since we don't know each other's identities, that means... I'd never see you again. Ever. And now, I just don't know if I can bear it.

This is the thing that I hate about this arc. The reason why I say Ladybug is blamed for not reading his mind. Especially because, three episodes later, we get Rocketear, which gives us this:

Cat Noir: Everyone has doubts now and then, (looks down) even me... Ladybug: Is everything okay, Cat Noir? Cat Noir: Yeah, yeah. (prepare his fist) Pound it! Ladybug: (fistbumps) Pound it!

Rocketear is the episode where Nino outs that he and Alya know each other's identities while acting like Ladybug said identities weren't a big deal even though that is very much not what happened. You'd think that Chat Noir would want to know the full story, but instead he just lies and says that everything is fine.

So we have two situations where the show allowed Ladybug to give Chat Noir a chance for clear and open communication and both times he turns her down.

What's worse is that he clearly starts making up stories in his head, leading to Kuro Neko, which starts with Adrien avoiding a fight on purpose as some sort of shit test. He then gets upset when Ladybug... doesn't lament his absence on national TV?

Clara: (from TV) By the way, where's Cat Noir? You've saved Paris without him quite a few times recently. Are you two at odds with each other? Carapace, Pegasus, Vesperia and Pigella: (from TV) Pound it! Ladybug: (from TV) Of course not, it's just that... umm, he's a partner like any other! The most important is to pick the best superheroes for each mission, with or without Cat Noir. No matter what, we've got a great team and we'll always be here to save Paris. (Adrien is shocked.) Adrien: (turns off the TV and sighs) "A partner like any other..."

Dude, what did you want her to do here? Complain that you flaked on her? Make Paris feel less safe by saying she doesn't know where you are? Imply that the fight was barely won without you? What are you doing? Plagg, you are completely failing as a mentor right now.

The shit test continues as Chat Noir goes to meet up with Ladybug now that the battle is over, arriving just as Ladybug has finished instructing the team on what to do:

Ladybug: Come on, guys! Hurry up before you all detransform. I'll meet you at rendezvous points. (The heroes jump away in different directions, and Ladybug starts typing something on her Yo-yo.) Cat Noir: Hey! Meow are you, m'lady? Ladybug: Great, thanks, but I gotta go retrieve all these Miraculous. Cat Noir: I could lend you a paw to help save time. Ladybug: Thanks, kitty cat, but it's a guardian's job to do it. Cat Noir: I know who some of them are, remember? I was there when you first gave them their Miraculous! Ladybug: You don't even know where their rendezvous points are, I don't have time to— Cat Noir: Playing cat and mouse is my forte, you know— Ladybug: (yelling) If you wanna save me time, stop wasting it in the first place! (Cat Noir gasps. As Ladybug swings away, Cat Noir clenches his fist.) Cat Noir: And take my Miraculous back when you're done!

So Ladybug doesn't publicly chastise Chat Noir for missing the battle and rejects an offer to help because of very legitimate timing concerns, leading to Chat Noir quitting because she failed his stupid, petty, childish tests. Realistic writing? Yes. Writing that paints Ladybug as the one in the wrong? No.

Going into this episode, Ladybug has no idea that things are messed up between them even though she has actually kept communication lines open. She asks him if things are okay, but he lies. And when he's ready to quit? He plays stupid games and wins a stupid prize. It's really not shocking that the next scene sees Ladybug totally baffled by what just happened:

Plagg: For a while now, you've been neglecting this camembert— I mean Cat Noir, and going on adventures with the all other cheeses! Ladybug: But he should be happy about it, it gives him more time off. Plagg: Cat Noir doesn't wanna have time off, Ladybug! He is in love with you! And your persistent calling on all the other heroes has broken his heart.

And how is she supposed to know that, Plagg? Was she supposed to assume that her partner was lying when he said he was fine? Because she did ask and he said that nothing was wrong. But something was wrong and it lead him to build up a story in his head, reading nonexistent intent into her actions, all of which is toxic and unhealthy communication.

I cannot stress how common this shit is. I've seen it so many times and I will own that I've done it in the past and wound up getting no support when I needed it because I'd directly told people I didn't and they committed the heinous crime of... believing me.

Here's the other thing, there are times when I'm in distress and legitimately don't want or need help. Times when I just need to be alone for a bit. So if someone asks me if I'm okay during those times, I'm probably just going to say, "Yeah, I just need a people break" or something like that. That's why the Scarabella scene is so bad. Ladybug can see that Chat Noir is in distress and he gives her a fully plausible answer: I'm not upset with you, I'm just saddened by the idea of losing you. And she believes him because why wouldn't she?

Same goes for Rocketear. It's reasonable for Ladybug to assume that Chat Noir is just shaken by the fight. She has no idea about the bombshell that Nino dropped right before the fight. She doesn't even know that Nino and Chat Noir are actually close friends, making this fight a lot more devastating than it looks at face value. Her actions here are not objectively wrong. They're only wrong if you know the whole story, including Adrien's needs. Things that she cannot know unless Chat Noir uses his words to tell her things.

I cannot over stress how much season four is a textbook example of denying yourself support because you cannot communicate your own needs. Is it an understandable character flaw for a character with Adrien's background to have? Yes. Absolutely. 100%. But it's still a character flaw. This season desperately needed an arc about Adrien learning to tell people what's wrong. Not because he's the only one in the wrong here, but because things cannot get better when Ladybug has no idea that she's hurting him. (Nino has no idea either, but let's keep our focus on Ladybug.)

One of the most important things you can do for your own mental well being is to dismiss the idea that your needs are the same as everyone else's. Everyone needs different amounts of attention and values different behavior based on things like their upbringing and life events.

I get the feeling that I'm wired pretty similar to Marinette. At least, it influences how I write her because I can go months without talking to my best friends and still call them my best friends, a trait we all share because two of use are artsy introverts and two of us are moms to young kids, which allows for very little free time. Meanwhile, my SO and his best friend spend hours on the phone almost every week. I swear that those two go into withdrawal if they don't talk at least once every seven days. If months went by without them talking? Something would be very wrong, but the exact same time gap isn't even remotely concerning when it comes to my friends. It's something my SO and I had to figure out when we got together because I need a lot less attention than he does. But we communicated and found a balance that we continue to work to communicate about so that he doesn't feel neglected and I don't feel overwhelmed by too little me time.

What I'm trying to say is Marinette wasn't horribly wrong for assuming that Chat Noir was telling her the truth or that he liked having a larger team so he had less responsibility. Those are reasonable assumptions. Especially since he never actually indicated that he wanted more responsibility until he was ready to quit and decided to shit test her by pushing for more to do when she was stressed and on a timer.

I do think that she should have offered it to him before that or - at the very least - the show should have clearly stated why she didn't do that since it apparently had nothing to do with Chat Blanc trauma like we all thought it did. I'm not saying that she's blameless or perfect or that there weren't things she could have done better. It's just really hard for me to look at Chat Noir's behavior in season four and go, "Oh yeah, he's the injured party here. Ladybug holds all the blame and did everything wrong." She did many things wrong, but generally speaking, she owned her faults and tried to keep communication channels open. Chat Noir chose to ignore those chances to talk or otherwise try to express his needs in a clear and understandable manner.

We'll end with one final point to drive this home: You said that she's his boss. Well, if my boss asked me, "is everything okay with the project?" and I said, "yes" while freaking out about the upcoming deadline that I'm probably going to miss because he's given me too much work, the issue is not all on my boss. It's on both of us. Him for overloading me and me for not telling him I'm overloaded. You could even argue that it's mostly on me because I'm the only one who can properly gauge my own ability to do a given workload. As soon as it was too much, I should have said something. And if I don't feel like my boss is approachable? Then I should quit. But that isn't the situation I'm in and it doesn't appear to be the one that Chat Noir was in, either. He wanted to stay part of the team, he just totally failed to tell Ladybug how being on the team was making him feel.

People magically knowing what you need and how you feel is a myth. I promise you, most people in this world do not want to cause you pain, but if you cannot clearly express when someone is causing you pain, then you will continue to get hurt by people who would be very happy to not hurt you if they actually knew that their actions were causing you pain.

[virune]

genuinely never understood the preoccupation with bullying people for being harmlessly weird. like if seeing someone wearing eccentric clothing or having an unusual hobby elicits some kind of unfounded aggression in you then i don't know what to tell you. get a grip maybe

[lesbianleonardo]

sooo normal about this (lying)

[frankiebirds]

will forever thinking about morgan refusing to leave dr. brazier's side while the bomb under her seat is being defused.

i didn't get a good screenshot of it, but he's also holding her hand the whole time.

and then the way he hugs her??

keep in mind he Just met this woman. he has no emotional connection to her beyond the fact that she is a person in distress and he is a person who cares. there is a bomb under her seat that could go off if she moves wrong or they fail to defuse it. if that happens, it will kill her, and almost certainly him too. he doesn't care. he kneels outside her car and holds her hand while she prays because he will not let her be afraid alone. he will not let her die alone, if it comes to that. derek morgan the bottomless well of compassion you are.

[remarcely]

Non-Human Tim Drake Prompt

The Drakes were unable to bear a child, so they made one.

They used clay from their dig sites, having come across grounds so imbued with magic that it was pouring out of the material in waves, and shaped a child- a little boy. He had Janet's smile, Jacks eyes, and a chunk of ruby, chipped off from an artifact the couple had found years ago, in place of a heart. They'd dried the clay child for thirty days and thirty nights, carefully checking him for cracks and crumbling patches. On the morning of the thirty-first day he opened his eyes and Timothy Drake was ‘born’.

He had once asked what power created him. Tim had heard of the tales of a puppet boy, so loved by his father that a fairy bestowed him with life, and asked his mother if the same fairy had blessed him. Janet had laughed, not taking him seriously, and patted his cheek.

“Oh, my darling, you weren’t made for no reason. You are the heir to the Drake name, a perfect little creation.” She stood from where she’d been crouched and began to leave the room, not bothering to look over her shoulder “Fairies are not real, Timothy, and neither is ‘true love’. There is only us and our requisites. You will placate our plans in a way flesh and blood never could.”

Tim understands the words his mother isn’t saying. That Love had nothing to do with it, only necessity for a child to keep something so arbitrary as a family name alive.

He wasn’t their son, he was a vessel, and if he wanted to remain a Drake then he’d need to serve his purpose;

Perfection.