#that your loved one passed and both hurt but holding her hand while she died was so much more torturous

[madigoround]

I think I need to take my as needed anxiety med I’m tiptoeing towards a panic attack about my great aunts passing and the idea of having to go back to work when it feels like I just need a break from life for a few months but also tomorrow I’m supposed to receive a call from one of my best leads on a good safe shelter for the last four of her cats to go when the rescue volunteer’s boss gets in tomorrow and it’s always harder for me to wake up after taking it and I may not hear the phone if I’m asleep and wake up in time to answer it and you guys don’t understand how hard I’ve been working to get her cats in good homes or a good no kill shelter

[avatarkv]

EVERY CORNER OF THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED. (1)

Synopsis ! Jake had taken you as his own after Tsu'tey's passing, leaving no one to care for you. Things had been good before your relationship with him had blurred along growing of age. You and him fought all the time; argued each other's ear off and tonight was no different-- except words have been said, severing the already damaged bond. Content & warning Jake sully x Daughter!Reader, Sully kids x Sister!Reader Neytiri x Daughter!Reader. (wc; 3104)

Jake knew a saying; held onto it ever since he had resided amongst Na’vi– every person is born twice. While he believed that it meant that the second time is when you earn your place here in Pandora, Eywa had a clever way of broadening the idea. His very children were proof of it.

He thinks it’s the great mother’s way of compensation, perhaps a second chance for him to do better– to do his very best to keep them alive on behalf of those he lost. 

While Kiri was a special case enough, you too were an odd one. 

You are Tsu’tey's daughter. Turns out, he had someone in secret while he trained to become olo’eyktan– when he was supposed to take Neytiri for himself. It was taboo– absolutely wrong to become unfaithful to one’s mate. But following the carnage of the great war, when Tsu’tey had so selflessly sacrificed his life, only then did Tsi’ewa came forward; told everyone of their love and what could have been. She was a simple songstress along Ninat, but it was her round and bulging belly that caught everyone’s attention.

It caused an uproar and understandably so. After all, Neytiri had only announced her rebellion with Jake not long before, but when the people connected the dots themselves and both stories had become one, they understood that their hearts merely yearned for another and no one should have ever dictated otherwise. Arrangements had been made and condolences were exchanged— everyone can only look back and wish that things could have been different.

Jake was supposed to take you under his wing as a way of honoring him– he owed Tsu’tey his life and perhaps an apology as big as so. But after your mother had unfortunately died during your birth, he knew to himself that he had to take you in; not as a responsibility, but as his own blood and flesh. His first daughter.

You were the loudest baby, he recalled. That day, Jake had rocked your body back and forth in his arms frantically, while Mo’at and Neytiri did everything within their power to help Tsì'ewa. Your cries were ear-splitting, enough to wake the whole clan up. 

“Just what do I do with you,” He muttered under his breath, eyebrows knitted in frustration– just where do he hold you? Is he doing it right? Are you hurt? Why are you crying so loud?

“Jake, the baby!” Neytiri’s shout from inside had cut his train of loud thoughts, snapping back to your bawling. He wasn’t doing such a good job. 

“I’m trying, Neytiri– this thing won’t budge.”

Neytiri had emerged from the hut, stomping her way to Jake with a scowl. "That is not a thing, you skxawng!" she exclaimed before gently scooping you up from his arms, cooing softly to you– though it was more like mocking him instead. “Does Jake here make you cry?” She said, patting your thigh soothingly. “He’s not at all pleasant to look at, but you have to get used to it.” 

Almost in an instant, your cries had died down. You babbled along with her, like you were agreeing with her every word. He slowly pulled himself closer to Neytiri, eyes wide with curiosity as he watched your small hands playing with her long braids. “Heh, she has Tsu’tey’s eyes,” He whispers, unable to look away. 

The flap of the hut swinging open was the only thing that got their attention, momentarily away from yours as they looked at Mo’at with anticipation. With a single shake of her head, sorrow surged their hearts, eyes traveling back to your innocent ones. They mourned for you; an unknowing child should never have to carry such grief. They had to make a choice– A responsibility they weren’t expecting to have so early. 

Jake mindlessly trails his finger down your stomach, gently, like you were the most fragile thing. Your little hand wraps around it and it was like you had binded his scattered thoughts into one big understanding. 

Sully. You’re one of them now.

Jake releases a breathless chuckle as he gazes upon his lover and you with a newfound clarity, a perspective so bright it illuminated in his very eyes. Then came an idea– the desire of having children of their own. Perhaps that’s why Neteyam came after only two years. You were quite the ploy; the push they needed to start a family.

You were truly blessed– the genius of your age was undeniable, your remarkable talent soon earning you the admiration of all who had seen it. By the time you turned six, you had already mastered many of the abilities that a hunter would need– your skills with a bow were unrivaled by most of the children your age, let alone those who were much older than you. They'd marvel at your accuracy each time you took aim with an arrow. You could never miss. You had to make sure you didn’t. 

By the age of 12, you had already accompanied Jake in hunts. You had developed a knack for planning, coming up with routes and back-up plans that were often surprisingly effective. You have proved to be helpful plenty of times. You were quick, silent– full of poise. They often wondered if you were an old, seasoned soul trapped inside a little girl’s body. 

But as quickly as the spotlight had shone down on you, it left almost as soon as it had come.

(“What you did today was reckless, y/n.” Jake settles his bow on the table aggressively, emitting a sharp thud. You were just as frustrated, throwing your satchel down the floor of the hut. 

The mission had gone rather wildly, with things not going along the plan. There was another airship– one that no one was aware of. Your instincts jolted your body, immediately throwing an explosive towards it which had it blowing all over the place– its pieces crashing and causing a wildfire. 

Jake argued that there could’ve been a more safer way. One that didn’t have to risk more of our resources and supplies; one that didn’t have to injure the other warriors. Of course you knew to yourself that you did the right thing. You did what you had to do. 

 ‘You could’ve been hurt and got others killed! Just what were you thinking?” He continued to berate you. You jest that if this went on, there’d be steam visible above his already heated head. 

“I had to take a risk– not everything goes to plan and this is proof of it.” You answered back with a scowl, “If I hadn't, there would’ve been more casualties.” 

“That’s not a call for you to answer to! Jesus Christ,” Jake runs his palms down his face, grunting, before looking back at you– expression suddenly tired and soft. “Come on kid, where’s that sweetheart who always listened to what I said?” 

You had scoffed, a hurt forming on the pits of your stomach. “That sweetheart once had a place in plans before.” You said, eyes unwilling to look at him. It weighed in your heart heavily– why did people assume that you were the only one who changed? You didn’t understand. “Pretty sure the Jake before was a good listener too.” 

The wrinkle in between his eyebrows deepened in confusion, but he never was one for confrontation. With a single dismissive grunt, he turns his back against you. “I’m way past your attitude. You’re grounded. Go.”)

As you grew, the resemblance to your father became ever more apparent. Jake started noticing the many similarities between the two of you; the way you walked– how you sauntered confidently through a crowd. Your braids would move along your heavy steps (and perhaps, that’s where Neteyam got his mannerism of swaying his too.), shoulders wide and proud. You even had his signature snarl, something Tsu’tey was known for that unfortunately seemed to have been passed down to you too. 

However, it was more than how you brought yourself. You were strong-willed– stubborn. 

There was another thing about you too. You didn’t call Jake dad anymore. It hurt him– left a heavy feeling on his chest every time you regarded him so distant. It was unfair that you still called Neytiri mom, why did it have to change with him? He didn’t have the heart to address it. Couldn’t ask you what went wrong. 

Because he knows damn well why. 

Lo’ak was enough of a headache, but you were a different kind of royal pain in the ass, more like a personal problem. It was tiresome. Petty. There was not a day that you and Jake wouldn’t argue and bite each other’s ass off– and yet, there was never a day where you two would talk it out. The fights would blur itselves out and before they knew it, things would be back to normal, only for it to fall out again over something small. It was routine. The only thing normal for you both. 

He missed you– missed his baby. Just when did you grow to become so distant? When did he start to overlook you?

You’ll admit, you might have indulged in the folk’s gossip. They always had a story for everything and they have plenty about your father. Tsu’tey was a fit olo’eyktan. He had proved so in his training and determination. Of course it was a low punch in the gut when the throne had been passed to an outsider– a demon, most of all. It was unfair, he knew it wasn’t right. A washed up marine had taken something he had worked for like it was nothing. Like he was nothing. 

You pitied your father and you feared you’d be like him– like nothing. 

And history might just repeat itself. You weren’t clueless– wasn’t blind to the fact that Jake had trained your brother more. He adored him so much that the very moment he was in the right age to train, you were off to fend for yourself; trained all alone while Jake went over the routine with Neteyam like he did with you. You remembered waiting for him every afternoon because he promised that he’d make time– that time was yours and yours only. But as the light bled and neared eclipse and you were too cold to wait outside, you learned never to wait again. 

They would come home soon after– smiles on their faces and a handful of apologies for you. 

Soon enough, your suspicions proved you right as the people started to talk again; Neteyam– the golden child. He would make a good olo’eyktan. 

Perhaps that would explain the drift between you and Neteyam too. Could they blame you for it? You had lost their attention so early– while you still needed them. You weren’t their kid and you were reminded of it everyday. In times when you didn’t know if you had space in the family hammock while they sat together, telling stories under the starry sky. You pretended to have fallen asleep everytime; back against them as you listened. In times where the family was growing and growing, until the small table wasn’t big enough for everyone anymore– or in this case, for you. 

(“Come on, ma’ite, what are you doing so far from here?” Neytiri had called for you when she noticed how distant you were from everyone. You silently scooted beside her, wooden bowl in your lap. “Look, I prepared your favorite.” 

It wasn’t. You hated it. You hated the tangy taste of it so badly. But you had decided to eat what was left on the table after everyone had gotten their meals and there wasn’t usually enough for you. Neytiri thought nothing of that– didn’t think that you eating only scraps and dried fruit was because there wasn’t anything else for you to have. She simply thought that it was your favorite and had been making it for you ever since.

You didn’t have the heart to tell her. Not when she thought she had been doing well with preparing it. You kissed your teeth, smiling tightly as you lifted the food to your lips, eating silently. “Thank you, it’s good.” You muttered under your breath after.) 

But you were family; they said so themselves. When they tucked you in to sleep, when they patted your head. They were still present now, just not in the way you wanted– not in the way you longed for. It seemed like making them angry was the only way you could have their attention– particularly, your dad. You could never make Neytiri mad. She tries to understand you, she does. Explaining now just seems so.. Petty. So childish, you decided to push her away instead. 

What do you tell her? That you only let dad blow a fuse or two was because you missed him? Because you didn’t know what went wrong? 

So there goes your routine. 

“I just don’t understand why I can’t be olo’eykte.” You had brought up again, lips in a familiar snarl. “You tire me and for what? Kiri is already training to be Tsahik– just what would my place in this clan be?” 

“We are not having this conversation again, y/n. Not tonight.”

Jake had just returned from a particularly bad hunt; went home empty-handed and with a patience as thin as a strand of hair. He continued to sharpen his dagger, movements almost aggressive. Everyone immediately went out of his way, not wanting to be on the end of his temper– not you though. You could never get a hint, it seems.

“Yes, tonight! My ceremony is almost near, sir. I have been waiting.”

It wasn’t like he had a reason anyway. Jake couldn’t tell you because he had no reason as to why. Why couldn’t you be olo’eykte? You had all the skills to be one, even more so. But in the back of his mind, a thought so deep and petty that he couldn’t bear to say, tells him that the name he carried was something to gift his eldest son. Olo’eyktan was a privilege reserved for Neteyam. He never thought to have you so early– he always dreamed of having a son first. 

“Wait more.” 

“This is insane– sa’nok!” You had turned to Neytiri, eyes pleading. She quickly grasps your arm and tries to tug you back towards the exit, speaking in a soft but firm voice as she tries to soothe the tension.

“Ma’ite, why don’t we go out for a walk?” She whispers. To be frank, she was tired of this– never of you, no. But at the way things had been. Parents aren’t parents automatically just because they have had children of their own. It’s a skill they have yet to muster– to truly understand. She didn’t know where the line between you and her had blurry along the years. Didn’t know where this constant need of yours to be seen came from. 

You jerked your arm away from her, almost too harshly. It tugged on her heartstrings, not knowing what was going on with you. “I cannot wait anymore.” You said, taking two steps towards Jake with an unreadable anger– an anger he didn’t know when had stemmed from. 

“Is it because I’m not your daughter?” 

His eyes widened. A flash of vulnerability visible in his gaze, momentarily softening his glare. “You stop this right now, y/n.” He had stood up, tucking the dagger back to his loincloth. Jake’s larger frame towered over you, telling you to drop it– to leave the conversation. But you weren’t backing down. 

“I am your eldest–! You trained me earlier than Neteyam, I have been here long enough–”

“You aren’t ready!” He had shouted with the same fierceness, earning a dirty look from Neytiri.

“Why won’t you see me?” Your voice had softened, borderline begging– just a bit, but enough for his ears to flatten in response. He knew that beneath those few simple words lay many layers of underlying meaning; emotions that have yet to be spoken. 

But he turns his back against you dismissively anyway. “Neytiri, get her out of here.” 

Neytiri grabs you by the arms again, although a bit forceful now, but just enough for her to touch you– to have you in between her arms. She embraced you, like she was trying to keep the words from escalating. She feared one of you would say something out of line; something you both would regret. 

But on the brink of the tension– the severity of the situation, you had muttered. Your voice was muffled, but it was clear. The message was oh so crystal. “You took everything from my father.” 

Jake grunts, “Yeah? Well maybe your father wasn’t enough either.” 

“Jake!” Neytiri hisses and although Jake couldn’t see her, he knew very well he was getting quite the conversation with his mate too. 

It was a low blow. Unnecessary. A straight strike to the gut. It was a pain so bitter, you didn’t want it to linger any longer– you were nauseous. You wanted no more than to vomit everything that spiraled out of your stomach. 

“You want to lead so badly and you can’t even control your temper. No clan wants a hot-head for a leader.” But he kept going– relentless and cruel. “You ought to be someone else’s shadow.” 

“But I’m your daughter,” Your tone had softened, almost cracking as the lump in your throat grew. Tears blurred your vision, threatening to escape as Neytiri held you close. 

“And yet you never listen to me— because I’m not exactly your father, yeah?” With one last glance, he stepped out, passing his children who stayed just outside the door, listening. Jake opens his mouth, desperate to ease the tension– the discomfort written in their faces, but he quickly shuts it and continues to walks out. He had said enough for tonight. There was nothing saving his face from this. It was best if he left instead. 

“Oh, ma’ite.” Neytiri rocks her body along yours, drawing soothing circles on your back but the embarrassment settles in your chest– gnawing at your body. You catch a glance of the pitiful looks from your siblings as they try to enter the hut silently. 

How could you make a mess out of yourself in front of them? Why had you let this blown over?

You retracted slowly from your mother’s hold, wiping your tears before running the opposite way from where Jake had gone to. It was better if you left instead.

mauve here! finally done writing this after racking my head for weeks. wanted it to be relatable (??) as much as possible, idk why. there is just something therapeutic w writing about your past issues <3 but i hope this one's alright!!! really excited to finally post this heheh

lots of kisses!

[lyrefromthesea]

Hear me out... The hashira rival lover thing.. What if we don't get the chance/they don't get the chance to confess because we die??? 🦅🦅(I'm a sucker for angst)

Male hashira x Reader - Lost Chances

author's note: the hospital doesn't want me anymore, i'm finally back home.

pairing: Tengen x reader x Obanai, Rengoku x reader x Gyomei, Sanemi x reader x Giyuu

content warning: angst, death, descriptions of blood

Tengen and Obanai:

a month had passed since your death. neither of them had seen it coming, nor had they ever received the chance to safe you.

you left for a solo mission back then, promising them to return victorious, and while you did kill the demon in the end, you suffered from a major injury and died the same night.

your death had spread despair and sadness throughout the whole demon slayer corps, but it left the hardest impact on them.

while Tengen grieved over your death, he tried to continue his everydayness. it wasn't for his sake, but for you and the people around him.

Tengen knew you would've wanted him to continue living normally, it was one of the things that made him not only admire but also love you.

he didn't want to hurt his wives either, they didn't deserve to get caught up in his despair.

so while he wished that it would've been him, he tried to keep those thoughts hidden inside his very being, locked away where no one would find them.

Obanai, on the other hand, could not swallow his grief down like Tengen did. he had loved you with all his heart and he felt it break with the message of your death.

despite both of them suffering through the same pain, Obanai didn't have anyone waiting at home, no one too soothe his overactive mind. it was one of the reasons he didn't like to return to his estate.

his eyes were trained on the stone which had your name engraved in it, placing a fresh bouquet of flowers next to it. it wasn't the only one, he knew Tengen would visit you once a week, though they never ran into each other.

not until today.

"come, my wives had offered to invite you over." the hand on Obanai's shoulder felt different than their usual encounters. he had expected Tengen to leave a new bouquet on your grave, maybe a prayer too, and leave again.

despite Obanai's wish to remain alone and the dislike of meeting new people - especially women - he agreed this time.

and when he entered the Uzui family estate, he was surprised by the lively atmosphere and the welcoming smell of warm food.

he was quiet throughout their time eating together, at least most of the time, but he still found himself being comforted by his new surroundings.

Uzui's wives looked happy.

the thought kept repeating in his mind, wondering if you'd enjoyed this as much as they did now. he wondered if life would've been different if he had confessed to you - married you.

maybe you'd have stepped back. there would've been no harm in watching you give up your title and enjoy life.

and while the image of your life as a happy person, greeting him back home and cheerfully talking about your day, consumed his mind, he looked at Tengen.

seeing the other man's eyes soften, a twinge of hidden sadness in them, as he looked at his wives, he knew that Tengen must've imagined the same before too.

in the end, neither of them had been fast enough to hold out their saving hand.

Rengoku and Gyomei:

"take [name] with you and get to the butterfly mansion!" Kyojuro screamed, gripping his sword harder and running after the demon the three of you had fought for a while.

truthfully, people would've expected this mission to be finished without a problem, a team of tree hashira should be undefeatable.

and perhaps that would've been the case for most demons, but not for this one. whoever she was, she was a trickster out of the book, saving herself with movements you've never seen before. you quickly realized her weakness, seeing that she couldn't use her blood demon art without breaks that seemingly grew bigger. in a state of increasing distress and tiredness you shouted for the others to power her out, not expecting her next attack.

the sharp object penetrating your back, soon piercing through your front, didn't nearly hurt as much as Rengoku's expression.

"follow the plan, tire her out!" Gyomei shouted one last time, carrying your body towards the butterfly mansion. he hoped Rengoku had heard him, legs carrying him as fast as possible.

he could feel thick globs of blood escape your wound, staining his hands in a demon's wine. not much more and you'd be dead.

Rengoku, on the other hand, fought with all his might. he didn't fight for his life, he fought with the pain of knowing what this demon had done to you. after increasingly weaker attacks were thrown at him, he finally found a gap and beheaded the demon.

yet he couldn't breathe out in victory.

he turned on his heels, sprinting towards the butterfly mansion. he knew that Gyomei was faster and stronger than him, hoping that you had arrived in time.

all his hope died the second he saw your lifeless body in an infirmary bed, the giant man, who brought you here, sitting by your side.

"i didn't make it." he admitted, voice a whisper, throat running dry. the smell of your blood reminded him of days that had long passed.

Rengoku felt his own throat tighten, quietly closing the door to your room. grief was slowly climbing up his body, threatening to pull him down. even worse, he saw the same feeling behind Gyomei's eyes.

thick tears were staining the giant's face, too focused on your body to notice Rengoku stepping closer. a warm hand placed itself on Gyomei's shoulder.

"don't lower your head, comrade. [name], too, would've wanted us to set our hearts ablaze." the words that left Rengoku's mind had been heard by the male a million times already, but any trace of happiness was gone this time.

Gyomei nodded, not saying another word, not even when he heard the other male desperately try to hold back his own sobs.

Sanemi and Giyuu:

it hadn't taken more than a second - a mere second that left everyone breathless. the uppermoon you've fought wasn't that strong, not that smart, but incredibly fast. so even with three hashira, it was a huge gamble to take him on.

Sanemi was unluckily hit by the demon's attacks, throwing him over half the forest. and while he managed to land safely, it would take him some time to return to Giyuu and you.

"Sanemi!" you screamed, your eyes following him in worry, only to hear him scream back that you should pay attention.

his warning came too late, the demon lunged at you before you even got to turn around.

trying to safe your team from any more harm, Giyuu went after the demon, sword swiftly cutting through his neck. yet the sound that reached his ears with his attack was too other - too different - to be from his sword.

the demon crumbled to dust in a matter of seconds, leaving Giyuu panting. his eyes widened when you came into his line of sight again, but something felt wrong.

you weren't moving, his eyes wandering over your body until they stopped at your torso. he barely managed to land on his knees and catch you before you hit the ground.

the demon wasn't strong, but it was still strong enough to leave a whole in your side in his dying moments.

"[name]!" Giyuu felt his throat dry up, his hands starting to shake like never before. this wasn't happening. right?

"Gi.. yuu.." he wasn't used to seeing your eyes so empty, so devoid of life. you barely managed to say his name before blood spluttered out of your mouth, running down your lips.

"[name], stay alive! ..stay alive!" he didn't know when he last felt this helpless, but his legs wouldn't move. the butterfly mansion was too far away, no help was in sight. he didn't know where he should bring you.

your breathing.

it had stopped not even a minute after you've got hurt, the light having left your eyes for good. Giyuu felt his body tense, not able to move anymore. his hands were full of your blood, he could feel the crimson liquid leaking down his fingers.

the silence was broken by a guttural scream, another person running out of the forest. Sanemi's white hair was a stark contrast to the night's darkness, wind rushing through it as he ran to your lifeless body.

"[NAME]!" he fell to his knees next to you, first wanting to hold you close to his body, then pulling his hands away, too afraid to hold your fragile form. he was consumed in his panic, the sight of your corpse.

the next minutes were filled by screams and cries, Sanemi's agony soon making Giyuu quietly cry as well.

they only stopped when no more tears were left, no more screams to give. and after Sanemi has calmed down, thoughts began to fill his mind.

i should've been faster. I should've been stronger. if i had just been there a bit earlier-

he went quiet, his hands gently taking your body out of Giyuu 's hold and standing up. you deserved a grave, he couldn't leave your body here.

before he turned around to retreat, his dead eyes wandered to Giyuu, looking at him with unspoken malice. "you should've protected [name]."

no more words were said between the two males, Sanemi leaving the forest with your body in his hands, while Giyuu suffered through another breakdown, trying to drag his body back to his estate.

he wouldn't be able to see your face another time, not in this life. Sanemi was right, he failed to protect someone he loved. again.

if only he knew that Sanemi felt the same guilt swell in his chest, desperately trying to hold his cries in.

[suukee]

other half 彡 levi ackerman

» summary ⋆ levi doesn’t exactly notice it, but one of his love languages is physical touch. (how he acts when he’s in love)

» content ⋆ levi ackerman x reader. fluff, hurt/comfort. mentions character deaths. written with season four, special two in mind.

» word count ⋆ 1070

Levi doesn’t exactly notice it, but one of his love languages is physical touch.

That’s because, growing up, he lost everyone he treasured.

His mother passed away when he was nothing more than a living skeleton, too young to live on his own. The last memory he recalls is laying his head down on her lap and her feather-like touch. Her fingers were gentle as they ran through his hair. Sometimes it had grown so long to the point where she’d braid them.

The man who found Levi, rotting beside the corpse of his mother, raised him as though he was a caretaker, but not like a father. It’s vague in Levi’s older years, but he remembers the head pats and the hair ruffling. The man was overall careless and strong, but he had soft moments where he’d praise Levi. And just out of the blue, the mystery man abandoned him. Years later, when it was revealed that this man was his uncle all along, he had died in the next moment.

Then there was Furlan and Isabel, the only two people he had considered his family in his adult years Underground. Isabel was a girl with no personal space for the people she cared for. For as long as she could remember, she loved hugs. And while Levi was stiff and complaint about it, she’d do it again and again. Pats on the shoulder from Furlan were enough of a relief to know he was there. Yet, they soon left, devoured on their first expedition outside the walls.

Levi’s very first squad respected his space, unlike Isabel. Even so, they meant something to him. He’d only seen the aftermath of their lives. He doesn’t have much of a physical memory from them. He carries the weight of being unable to protect them as they always would for him.

Then came the commander—both of them. The people he grew to appreciate. He wouldn’t dare to admit out loud they had become his friends. The two strong leaders made a great sacrifice for the sake of humanity. It was heavy. Like the death of his squad, he added that weight to the list. He could feel the hands of Erwin and Hange on his shoulders urging him on.

They’re all gone. Bittersweet memories. Repeating nightmares taunt him just when he thinks he’s got it wrapped around his head.

Through such hardships, he’s gifted with you. The war hasn’t come to an end, not yet, but you’re the only person he knows who survived countless battles from the very beginning.

You have become the only person in the entire world to whom he will cry, vent, and lean toward when he needs to. Whenever he wants to.

His comfort is his best friend. His lover. His partner in crime. That’s always going to be you.

Anyone who catches him holding your hand or kissing your cheek may find it strange. He doesn’t want to be touched by anyone, let alone touch someone himself. He’s a damn intimidating man. One look is all he needs to drive people away. And while it took some time to get to the point where he could freely be himself, the thought that he doesn’t deserve you still gnaws at him.

You treat him like a living person, not as Humanities Strongest. You went through hell and back just to get to know him, to understand him—why he acts and feels the way he does. You’ve changed him into a better man, and you’ve accepted his flaws. Your devotion and love are so innocent and pure, he knows you’d do it all over again. Just for him.

He didn’t make it easy to break down his walls. His guard was exhaustingly high. He tried to push you away in case of the day he loses you, then it wouldn’t hurt so much. But as his calloused hands find their place on the soft skin of your cheeks, eyes shining of love, giggles echoing in his ears, he doesn’t look back. You’re the one he wants to protect. Lay his life down for. A reason to look ahead.

Sometimes, you’re too busy laughing to notice he smiles when you’re this close. But you know he’s content despite how rarely he smiles.

At meetings or meals, he’ll sit across from you. There are times when he rests the tip of his boot atop yours lightly. It’s just his way of keeping in contact with you. If he decides to sit next to you, he’ll be close enough that your knees press against his gently. It did take him some time to kiss you, but he was uneasy about public displays of affection. On his own, and with your patience, he comes to terms with holding your finger or keeping a grip around your waist whenever you’re out together.

He’s a different man in private. He holds you so close, hugging you tightly like you’ll disappear if he lets go. He loves it when you come to the office late at night, settling yourself on his lap as he completes his work—writing with one hand and holding you against him with the other (he complains someone will see and that you should be getting rest, but makes no effort to get you off). When exhaustion kicks in, Levi loves to rest his head on your shoulder, keeping a hand on your thigh and gently caressing the fabric of your pants or, even better, your skin. His body weight is all on you when he’s knocked out cuddling, not that you’ve ever complained about it. Not that you ever will.

Who would’ve guessed the stoic captain had such a soft side?

Nighttime is the worst. A swarm of nightmares disturb his rest. That’s when he becomes desperate for your touch. Your chest and your lap, that’s his new favorite pillow. Your fingers playing with his hair, his undercut, or rubbing his upper back boosts his melatonin. Your arms are the safest place in such an unforgiving world. You’re a calming piece of his life he doesn’t dare to lose.

He can’t.

Even though the war isn’t over, and there’s no time to spend together, it’s your presence that aids him for a while. Even if he can’t see with his eye properly, he relies on touch. Just your hand, and he’s good.

Who would he be without you? He doesn’t want to know.

[uglypastels]

Logan idea- reader has very similar traumas I.e trained as a weapon, memories wiped, has bad nightmares, slower aging, modified healing.

They find healing with the X-men and get close with Logan because of their similarities the reader is more sunshine to Logan’s I don’t know if pessimism is the right word. They go on a mission, goes missing for a period, and when they show back up they’ve been brain washed and are fighting the X-men but Logan recognizes them instantly. And does the whole this isn’t you sweetheart while taking a beating cause they can both kick ass and that’s one of the things Logan loves about them. He gets the mask off of them cause he realizes that’s part of the issue for them not recognizing everyone and then it’s hurt/comfort them feeling horrible for getting caught and Logan feeling horrible for letting them get caught. And even though they hadn’t been together before just very close friends/testing the waters this brings them together cause they realize they want to be with each other after some healing and Logan be soft with the reader while they heal from the brainwashing fiasco.

I dunno I love the idea of Logan feeling horrible about not being able to rescue the reader and then recognizing them fighting his allies and helps bring them back from the void. I’m a sucker for two people relating to eachother having a friendship that a hard time brings out their true feelings with lots of fluff and healing cause Logan understands that.

this made me think of some of my favourite wolverine scenes from different media so it's all inspired by that i guess. hope you like it :3

warnings: angst. mind control. reader presumed dead. swearing. violence. hospital-setting. guilt.

Masterlist ~ X-Men Requests are Open

‘What the hell are you doing? We have to go back!’ Logan started yelling as soon as he realised you hadn’t made it back to the jet. 

‘It’s too late,’ Scott shouted back at him from the pilot seat. ‘We won’t make it.’ 

‘She won’t make it,’ Logan retorted, already lunging at the cockpit, claws itching to come out. And they would have if it wasn’t for the cold hand touching his skin. He looked up to meet Rogue’s eyes. They were filled with sadness–pity– as she held his hand. He tried to pull out of her hold, but the longer it went on, the more frail he felt. Everything around him began to spin, his vision blurred until it all turned black, and his head hit the steel flooring of the plane.

⮿

Rogue had held on for too long. That much she had realised as soon as Logan had passed out.

It took a whole day for him to come by, but not even her powerful narcosis had suppressed his rage. As soon as Logan had woken up and his senses had felt Scott’s presence, he was on his feet, grabbing the team leader by the collar of his shirt, pushing him against 

‘You proud of yourself, punk?’ he spat in Scott’s face. ‘Got your sorry ass out all safe and sound, huh?’

‘There was no other way. We would have all died if we had stayed, Logan,’ Storm clawed at his shoulders to pull him back, but none of her methods sufficed. ‘This was the only way.’

‘No the fuck, it wasn’t!’ He saw red with anger. ‘We could have saved her.’ He had pulled out of saying that one word at the last minute. I could have saved her. That was the only thing on his mind for weeks. How you still would have been there if it wasn’t for him. 

The plan had been simple; that much had been clear in your face as you suggested it the last time he saw you. But he never should have gone along with it. He never should have let you go on your own. If he had just stayed— ran after you— maybe…

A pitiful portion of him still kept up hope. That one day, the heavy doors to the mansion would open, and you would stand in the middle. Perhaps a bit bruised up and tired, but all there. And he would pull you into his arms like he had wanted to all those times before.

But you never did show up. Days turned into weeks turned into months, and there had been no news, no sightings. Even the Professor had stopped seeking Cerebro’s help as nothing turned up anyway, no matter how hard he looked.

⮿

His heart was in his chest as he raced through the dark corridors of the bunker complex. Logan looked around him for the way out with the least henchmen as chances of there being none were slim. He had already left a trail of bodies behind him and was ready for the next wave of men to beat into a pulp.

He turned the corner, but what he saw was the last thing he had expected.

For a second, he thought he was dreaming; perhaps it was a hallucination brought on by some chemicals they pumped into the air to get to him. It wasn’t possible. His mouth had already fallen open, ready to call out your name, but as you got into a stance of attack, eyes blank except for a fury deep inside them, Logan realised it wasn’t a dream at all. It was a bloody terror. 

It was the hardest fight he had ever been in, trying to block all of your attacks while pulling himself back. He couldn’t het himself to hurt you. All he found himself doing was calling your name, but it was useless. It was you, but it wasn’t. Nothing he said seemed to matter, seemed to take any effect on you. You lunged at him, punching and kicking. 

It was futile to try and argue with you, and so, against every muscle and nerve in his body screaming against it, Logan started to place his movements harder, fighting against you until you went limp in his arms. He cursed himself out as he looked down at your unconscious body, pushing some of your loose hair out of your face. But as he looked at you, he also saw that it really was you still in there. And so he didn’t waste a second thinking about it as he picked you up in his arms and ran as fast as his body could take him. Out of the tortuous underground maze and back to that godforsaken jet that had been the scene of the dreams that had plagued his mind for the past months.

⮿

Everyone had practically stopped in their tracks at the sight of you in Logan’s arms. He stumbled into the jet, nearly falling over, having had, as predicted, to deal with a number more nameless jackasses, but with you in his arms, it made beating them up a bit more challenging.

‘What—’ Storm’s eyes were nearly as pale of shock as they would have been of her powers. 

‘She’s been brainwashed,’ Logan explained before anything else, ‘or controlled. I don’t know, but he’s hostile. We need to keep her down.’ He laid you down on the ground, sitting right beside you, wiping the sweat off his forehead with a deep heave, and only then he noticed the looks of everyone around him. ‘What?’

No one said a thing, but he knew what they were all thinking. For he was thinking it, too. Was it safe to bring you back home? Could whatever they had done to you be reversed, or was he just putting everyone at the school in danger by taking you back? 

‘Is everyone back?’ He just said after no one had dared to say another word.

⮿

Logan didn’t know what had possessed him. Why he had suddenly grown so protective over you, but he could not stand the idea of you being alone in the hospital wing. It took nearly half a week just for Jean and the Professor to understand what had happened to you, and the treatment itself took far longer than Logan would have liked. 

He didn’t know why he came to visit you every night, far outside the regular visiting hours, past when anyone would be awake to see him sneak in and sit by your side, holding your hand, hoping you could feel and hear him as the apologies spilt out of him.

‘I’m so sorry, bub.’ He kissed your knuckles. ‘I should have gone back for you. I should have–’ He stilled as you stirred in your bed. 

‘Logan?’ You croaked out, throat dry and hoarse. In slight shock, Logan said nothing. You blinked and tried to find him in the darkness of the room. ‘Logan? Is that you?’

‘Yeah, it’s me.’ He chuckled softly to himself, squeezing your hand.

‘What happened?’ You tried to sit up, orientating yourself to where exactly it was that you were, but he quickly pushed at your shoulder to stay put. 

‘It’s a long story, kid.’ Never before was Logan happy to be sitting in the dark as the tears he had subdued for months finally fell down his cheeks in extreme relief. ‘You uh– you’d been gone for a while.’ 

‘I was?’ you tried to remember, ‘I can’t recall anything. It’s all—’

‘I know.’ He kept your hand in his, rubbing your skin with his thumb. Logan knew to call for someone as soon as he saw you stir awake, but he needed this moment alone with you. Make sure you are doing alright himself. Besides, the professor was probably already on his way. 

‘It’s okay. You’re alright now.’ He continued, happy you had finally come back home.

the end.

thank you for reading 💗

if you enjoyed the fic, please consider reblogging and leaving a comment. or send a message via my inbox. requests are also more than welcome. 💗

[jjsfavgirl]

Let it all out, party girl

Since over 400 of you liked my blurb “calm down party girl”?! (That is insane Tysm) I have decided to make a part to of the dreadful hangover JJ’s girlfriend faces.

This is pt two of calm down party girl<3

Summary- JJ Maybank taking care of his very hungover girlfriend

Warnings: vomiting, pet names

Part 1 Part 2

-

There you both were, in the Château bathroom as you groaned and cradled the toilet bowl while one of JJ’s hand worked circles around your lower back as his fingers had quickly entangled to hold your hair out of you face as last nights components came from your lips.

“Let it all out, party girl.” JJ cooed, wincing back slightly as he glanced down at the toilet bowl.

“I’m sorry, Jay.” You sobbed quietly, praying that was the last contents of your stomach.

“Ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for, princess.” He smiled, smoothing the now sweaty hair away from your face as your wiped your mouth.

JJ patted your knee cap before standing up and reaching over the counter to grab the toothpaste and your toothbrush that you had left there many moons ago. The sound of the tap running caused you to glanced up at your boyfriend from the cold wood floor, your head pounding as the bright ceiling light blinded you.

“Brush.” JJ demanded, passing you the toothpaste coated toothbrush down to you.

After successfully brushing your teeth without vomiting once more, JJ took this as a safe sign to help you back into bed.

“Gunna get you some water and I’ll try and see if Kie has some Advil or somethin’” he smiled, laying you down on the soft mattress as he pulled the sheets over you carefully.

You could only let out a giggle at your boyfriend’s sweet actions. He was your knight in shining armour. Always.

“Yo! Kie! You’re a lady you got any like Advil or something for hangover?” He asked the brunette, a spliff in her hand and a cup of water for his girl in his.

“What does me being a girl have anything to do with carrying Advil?” She asked confusingly, furring her brows at the blonde boy.

“Y’know, lady things.” He groaned, already hating himself for saying the sacred words.

“Take the fucking Advil from my backpack. You ever say lady things again and I will push you into the ocean.” She grunted at the boy, just as disgusted with his word choice as she tossed him a pill packet.

“Sorry! You’re the best!” He cheered, running back to yours and JJ’s room, spilling some water on the way there.

“Here you go, honey.” He passed you the ice cold water as he popped an Advil for you.

“Thank u.” You attempted to send him a grateful smile even though the pounding sensation in your head only grew with every movement.

With a groan from you, JJ climbed into bed beside you and tucked himself in as he linked one of his bare arms around your shoulders.

“What happened to the vodka shot taken champion from last night huh?” He teased, smirking down at you as h awaited your classic snarky hangover response.

“She died.” You moaned, your head hurting more as you leaned directly into the sun.

-

Just a little part two!! Enjoy!!

Love ivy🫶🏻

Taglist: @chimindity @chiaraanatra

[nvirskies]

sand - c. la rue

idea taken from one of @star-girl69 's asks about married clarisse and immediately went to think about how the vast majority of greek demigods didn't get to live past their 20's or even teen years... and the survivor's guilt that would come with being one of the few lucky enough to live longer.

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, traumatic nightmare flashbacks, descriptions of violence, descriptions of blood + war, spoilers for TLO, set after both reader and clarisse leave CHB about 6-8 years into the future, google translated Greek term of endearment, crying, survivor's guilt, platonic RueGard, ooc Clarisse, she's matured more over time and more articulate with her feelings and words

summary: clarisse wakes up from a particularly bad nightmare in the middle of the night, reader comforts her through a breakdown

wife!fem!demigod!reader x wife!clarisse la rue

word count: 2.2k

καρδιά μου (kardiá mou) - my heart

Η καρδιά μου είναι η καρδιά σου (I kardiá mou eínai i kardiá sou) - my heart is your heart

"but you have more pieces of me than than desert has sand, and I have less pieces of you than I can hold in my hand" sand, alchemical: vol. 1, dove cameron

taglist: @lvrue @star-girl69 @azrielsdiary @petitegavotte @b0ok-lover

men, nsfw, non-sapphic, 16-/19+ dni

Greek demigods fell in love hard and fast with an unmatched intensity. They normally didn’t live long enough to even envision themselves in their adult lives, and why would they? Every day was a struggle to stay alive with monsters coming in from all angles and quests most didn’t come back from.

And that was why, as soon as the two of you graduated high school, Clarisse got down on a knee and proposed with the knowledge that you were the one she would want to spend the rest of her life, however long or short, with.

When you two had graduated college, the next thing in the books was to make it official in the courthouse, and that was what you had done. No extravagant party or ceremony, just a quiet day in the courthouse and a night in to celebrate.

But no matter how far the two of you ran from Camp Half-Blood, the nightmares never went away, never got better. As the years passed, more of the people you had considered friends died. One after the other, falling like cursed dominos, helplessly standing by as they all tumbled down.

Soon, the nightmares became more about the people that were lost than the monsters themselves. Nightly plagues of searingly painful memories from watching the life drain from so many demigods’ eyes burned themselves in both of your psyches.

All you could do was hope Charon would be kind enough to ferry them across the Styx without his payment of a silver coin.

And tonight certainly hadn’t been anything out of the ordinary with the two of you and your limbs interlaced in a protective embrace while sleep claimed your minds, as if the both of you could protect each other from the monsters both in and outside.

Your head, nestled into her chest. Her deep, rhythmic breathing made your hair flutter ever so slightly as she exhaled. Her arms, wrapped loosely around your waist, hands not-so-sneakily under the baggy shirt of hers you had stolen to wear as pajamas for the night. It was all perfect. Too perfect.

You would be damned fools to think that peace would last for so long. Demigods didn’t get peace, they didn’t get tranquility, and they especially didn’t get uninterrupted domestic bliss.

Unbeknownst to you, Clarisse’s face contorted into one of distress. Her arms pulled you in closer subconsciously as the all too familiar face of Morpheus greeted her with a sly smirk on his face in her dreams.

In moments, she was transported back to the Battle of Manhattan.

She was seventeen again.

Blood was everywhere. Abandoned weapons lay on the floor, the hands that once gripped them tightly, now loose and limp. Shrill screams echoed throughout the air, all cut short by gut-wrenching sounds of fatal injury. Metal cut through flesh. Acid burnt through metal. Flames licked and greedily consumed anything and everything as fuel.

Her feet felt heavy, her hands numb. She could do nothing but stand and watch it all unfold before her own eyes, forced to relive the carnage and devastation that had ripped through Manhattan on that fateful day.

Morpheus’ voice whispered in her right ear, the sound of it sending an uneasy chill down her spine. “Daughter of Ares. A fitting dream, no? Your father must have been proud of you for the way you fought after… well, I’ll let you relive that, too.” Before she could blink, she was transported to the moment right after Silena had been sprayed by the Lydian Drakon.

Clarisse was too late. She had always been too late.

She was back on her knees, choking and weeping bitterly as Silena lay in her arms, watching as life slowly left her once-lively eyes.

What kind of a warrior even was she? So weak that she couldn’t even protect her friend? Too weak to protect the girl who had adorned her armor and led her siblings into battle?

Just as Clarisse reached out to touch Silena’s face to wipe away the one mark of smudged eyeliner that the Aphrodite girl normally would never have even allowed to happen in the past, she was jerked back to consciousness, eyes flying open and arms almost crushing your sleeping form momentarily as she came to.

No longer was she in Manhattan, instead sheltered in the familiarly adorned walls of your shared bedroom. Upon the walls hung framed pictures of joyous times past and her sword collection, among other things.

Familiar faces stared back at her, some faces that would never age again. Immortalized memories of times that would never happen again. Everyone was dead or scattered across the globe.

A particular picture caught Clarisse’s eye. It was a portrait of Silena that she had commissioned one of the Apollo kids to draw for the daughter of Aphrodite’s seventeenth birthday.

She never lived to see that day.

Her eyes locked with Silena’s in the drawing for a moment, and that moment was one too much as hot tears began to prick in the corners of her eyes.

She had inadvertently woken you up with the way her arms tightened around your waist in a near vice grip, slowly coming to your senses. No longer were her breaths slow and rhythmic, their steadfast pattern replaced by one that was erratic and shallow. The once-steady thumping cadence of her heart as it beat in her chest was now quickened, all of which you could hear with your head having been nestled into her chest.

Craning your head to look up at her, you were greeted with the sight of Clarisse desperately trying to silently blink back tears and control her own breathing.

Hurriedly, you pushed yourself up off her chest and tugged the blankets off the two of you before sitting down on her lap. You took note of the way her hands had never left your waist, holding onto you as if she were drowning and you were the last life ring thrown out.

It wasn’t anything you and Clarisse hadn’t dealt with before. The nightmares had been a part of your lives as far back as you could remember, it just came with the territory of being a demigod. But they never got any easier as time went on.

She watched silently with eyes brimming with unshed tears, pleading wordlessly with you to do something, anything to make it all go away.

“Let’s switch, yeah? You can lay on me and completely cover me if you want, love,” you offered up, a melancholy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. Wordlessly, she nodded and you slipped off her lap, laying back where she had just been moments ago.

Gently patting your chest, you motioned for her to rest her head on it, knowing that the rest of her body would soon follow, completely engulfing your form with hers. After she had positioned herself, her arms snaked around your waist again as she simply held you for a few moments, her face pressed into your chest as tears slowly soaked into your shirt.

One hand reached out to gently run along the length of her back, the motion meant to soothe. A few beats passed in silence before you spoke in a hushed whisper, the bedroom devoid of sound beyond the two of you breathing in tandem with each other.

“You hear that, love? That’s my heart,” you murmured softly, craning your neck to press a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “It’s beating, beating for you. Η καρδιά μου είναι η καρδιά σου.”

She didn’t respond beyond releasing another shaky sob into your chest and tightening her grip around your body, but you didn’t mind. You didn’t need her to talk just yet.

“You’re also η καρδιά μου, you know that, right? My heart, my wife, my love, my everything. And I’m yours. Entirely yours, and I”m not going anywhere.” You craned your neck again to press another kiss against the crown of her head, hand never stopping its path of running gently along the length of her back.

“I would go down to the depths of Tartarus for you. I would challenge Hades himself to a fight if it meant I had even a glimmer of a chance in getting you back.”

Never once did you try to rush her into talking or shushing her tears. You knew her better than you knew yourself, and giving her time to let everything out was the best thing you could do for her at the moment.

You were her safe space, the one woman that she could let her walls down around. She wasn’t Ares’ star daughter in your arms, she was just Clarisse. No expectations dangling over her head, just open arms and understanding.

After another few quiet moments, she finally spoke up in between half-choked sobs, whispering so quietly that her voice was nearly inaudible, “Silena… Manhattan… should have been able to save her,” before letting her face fall back down onto your chest, releasing another pained cry.

“She’s gone- a-and everyone else too- why me?”

Her question left you speechless, mouth partly opened in an attempt to come up with a reassuring response, but nothing seemed to come to mind immediately. It was rare for this to happen, as you normally had just the right words at the top of your tongue, weaving them as Arachne once wove tapestries on her loom.

“They’re all gone and- and- ”

“Shh, love…” you cut her off, gently pulling her head up to look her in the eyes, your other hand leaving her back to wipe the tears that were still streaming down her cheeks with the pad of your thumb. “Please, don’t go back into that self-sacrificial spiral. Talk to me, tell me what the dream was about?”

She only shook her head in response, unwilling to divulge details of the memory that had shattered your night of otherwise perfect proportions.

Deflating back on top of you, she whispered, “They’re all gone, and we’re one of the only ones remaining. It was like every time another one of them died, that small part of myself that I gave to them died as well.”

Her arms that were wrapped around your waist tightened for a moment before going limp along with the rest of her body as she lay atop you, her head pressed against your chest.

“Love…” you began softly as one of your hands found its way to her head and carded gently through her curls. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened. None of it was your fault. We didn’t ask to be born, to be thrown into this mess of a world and tossed around like pawns in the gods’ game of chess with our lives.”

“We didn’t ask for this life, and we were so young at the time. For fuck’s sake, we were only seventeen- we hadn’t even made out yet. We hadn’t graduated high school yet, there were so many things we couldn’t control.

“None of it was your fault, I promise you. You were so brave, and you did everything you could.” She stayed silent as you spoke, the only sounds coming from her were the soft, shaky breaths as she sniffled and burrowed her face further into your shirt.

“I can’t explain to you why so many things had to happen, that’s up to the Fates. I can’t give you the pieces of yourself back that you lost when we kept losing everyone,” you murmured whilst your hands kept on with their idle motions.

It shattered your heart to give her such an incomplete answer when you knew it was tearing her apart inside to live with it all, but there was nothing you could do beyond offer solace and comfort. “And for that, I am so, so sorry. But the one thing I can do is keep the piece you’ve granted me to keep, safe and sound.”

She only nodded in response, not trusting herself to speak in fear of her own vulnerability. Her tears soaked into your shirt, but you didn’t care. All that was important was that Clarisse was here, in your arms, and slowly calming down.

Clarisse knew just as well as you did that everyone had done the best they could with the circumstances given, and that the loss affected you just as deeply. But she didn’t dig into that, it would be a can of worms to open for another time, another sleepless night where your own troubles caught up with you after running from them for so long.

And so, the rest of the night stretched on into early morning, the two of you half-awake, seeking silent solace in each other until sunlight crept into the bedroom through the cracks of the curtains the next day.

The two of you might have been running from your trauma like runners to a marathon, but at least you were running hand-in-hand with matching strides.

[ash5monster01]

Hi how are you? I don't know if you are accepting requests... but if so, I would like to ask Macgyver for something

I imagine something, where the reader is jealous of Mac with Desi or Riley, and to make matters worse for the reader, one of them ends up getting hurt, and then Mac gives her his full attention? (Riley, Desi) and the reader starts to feel super insecure and super bad...

Thankss!!

first of all the fact I have a MacGyver request right now is nothing short of amazing. with the show being over for a while now the fandom has died down quite a lot and I am happy to write for him whenever. I will also be choosing Desi for this considering I’m very anti-Desi, apologies to anyone who likes her. anyways I hope you enjoy xx

Wish It Was Me

Pairing: Angus MacGyver x Fem!Reader

Warnings: jealousy, language, angst, heartache, unreciprocated feelings, fluff, happy ending (don’t worry)

Summary: After months of pretending that his behavior doesn’t bother you, you finally find yourself getting fed up and showing your heartbreak towards the boy. He uses this as an excuse to finally confront his feelings for you.

word count: 2.4k

Masterlist

Harboring a crush on the man your job required you to protect was a great work ethic tactic. In fact it was the best one you had yet. Obviously you’d protect anyone of the team but if something ever actually happened to Mac, you’d be more than upset. Quite possibly crushed. It was also a great tactic considering you were very well trained at keeping your emotions intact which meant not once had you given up the fact you had any feelings for the blonde boy at all. It was simple actually, pine for him when you were alone and protect him when you were together. Always at his 6, gun pointed and loaded. A team always and forever.

That is until Desi Nguyen came along.

Not only is she just as good as you at combat but she was also getting closer to the team and you despised that. Feelings of replacement and jealousy filling you which made you angry for experiencing such emotions at all. It started to get worse when you noticed how close Mac was getting to her. Hell when she first showed up she had caught him leaving the shower and she hadn’t been shameless about it at all. You were the only one to successfully pass her test and she acted like because of that, the two of you were friends. That made it even worse.

It started with him laughing at her jokes, then it was grabbing a coffee after work, and pretty soon it was slight touches in passing, barely noticeable, but there. It was driving you up a wall, yet you’d never show it. Not only was Mac completely clueless but Riley and Bozer as well. So when you find yourself particularly angry for being sent in the field with Mac and Desi, no one seems to pay no mind because you are a shell of stoic. Untouched by silly and childish feelings of crushes and love. You wonder if there is possibly anything that could break your cool and calm structure.

“Y/N, I need you for a minute” your heart stutters, wishing he meant it in a different way, some other way. Yet you obey, not even a glimmer of hope shining as you look in his eyes. “Hold this wire for me please”

“Better hurry guys, we’re gonna have guests soon” Desi speaks, still on guard for any unwanted visitors. You slide your gun in the holster, allowing her to cover you both as you hold the wire like Mac asked.

“Please tell me this will only blow up the bad guys and not us” you tell Mac, a sly smile on your face and he chuckles, his hand twisting with his Swiss army knife as he works on something you can’t possibly comprehend.

“I’m not making any promises” he tells you and you fight the grin that wants to crawl across your face. You want to smile at him like he hung the stars but your job was to protect, not love. Even if you wanted to you’d be afraid of doing it for competition now, even if you didn’t know how Mac felt about Desi you knew she liked him.

That point is proven when you’re interrupted by the heavy footsteps of three men. A shot is let off in the air before you have time to register that the shot was heading for Mac. Desi does her job which is the same as yours, stepping in front of the bullet, and letting it knock her to the ground. You don’t have time to think about it, you move on command, years of skill practically motorized into your being. Your gun is out your holster in seconds and you’ve shot all three men to the ground before anyone can think about it. It’s what you were built for.

“Shit Desi, are you okay?” it’s Mac’s voice that pulls you from combat mode. You turn to find he has taken position over her fallen form, both her hands and his own holding her wound tightly as she bleeds from her torso.

“Been better Mac” she tells him, voice straining like she’s clearly in pain. You see it in his eyes though. It’s what keeps you from rushing to her side as well. It was there all along and maybe he was just as good at hiding it as you or you were denial. He’s looking at her the way you would’ve looked at him if he was the one laying on that ground.

“Matty, we’re gonna need an exfil location stat. Desi has been shot” you call over on your comm’s and the worried voices from the other team members seem to make you sadder. Feeling abandoned by your team and guilty for allowing such personal feelings to make you seem so cold towards a girl who had never done anything wrong to you.

“Alright, hang in there Des. We’ll get you out of here” it’s the nickname that comes from his mouth that makes bile rise to your throat but when he cradled the girl in his arms it’s something else entirely. Pain worse than you’ve faced in the field sears through you and when Mac looks up at you, you decide it’s time to accept that this is your life now. Him and her. The real team.

What you don’t know is that Mac see’s it. The pain, it’s written clear as day across your face. It startled him for a moment because you never give anything up. A statue of a person and to see you seem so dejected is heartbreaking in a way he can’t comprehend. He knows it’s not worry for Desi, he’s sure that is inside of you somewhere, but the pain written across your face is one of longing. After months of wishing you’d reciprocate any feelings for him at all he realizes they were always there, just under the surface.

Matty pulled off an emergency extract quickly, and thankfully the debrief was quick due to worry of Desi’s condition. Everyone can tell you’re defeated, more than likely thinking it was from an unsuccessful mission. You let them, and go to your rented room in Mac’s home. For the first time in months wishing you didn’t live there. Thankful Bozer and Mac stayed back you pour yourself a heavy glass of wine, find yourself in a warm shower, and then curled on your bed in some pajamas with a book. You’re four glasses of wine deep and halfway through the book when you hear the front door open and close.

“I’m home” is called out. Mac who had been with Desi all this time. Bozer had come home hours ago, and was more than likely asleep. For the first time in a while you wished you had shut your bedroom door to avoid him, have a good night sleep in before you had to deal.

“Hey, you’re up” he’s in your doorway in seconds. You feel yourself sitting up and removing the reading glasses from your face. Mac always finds it odd seeing you like this. Curled up in a mound of blankets and pillows, the smell of fresh wine and a vanilla candle, silk sleep sets laid across your skin, hair piled high on your head. You were so soft compared to the girl in the field. The same girl he watched take down three men in lightning speed today. Now somehow you were in bed with a book. Weird how the world worked.

“Not really tired, is um. Is Desi okay?” you feel bad for not showing much interest in her well being. You just needed some time to think, some time to regain your composure.

“Last I checked yeah, I haven’t seen her for a couple of hours” he admits as he walks in. As he sits at the end of your bed you realize this isn’t uncommon. You two are still friends. No matter what you realized today.

“I thought you were with her?” you give him a puzzled look and he shrugs.

“I was, yeah. Then once I knew she was stable I went back to the Phoenix to fill out a mission report. Then Matty took advantage and got me to catch up on paperwork I’d been avoiding for a while” you can’t help the soft giggle that escapes your lips. Mac was a professional at avoiding the paperwork part of his job but every once in a while Matty could get her way.

“That’s on you for going back” you tell him and he chuckles along with you, head nodding.

“Could I ask you something?” he says once the laughter has quieted down and you find yourself getting exceptionally nervous. He can’t tell.

“Always Mac, it’s kinda my job” you tease which is true. When you were hired at the Phoenix Foundation it was literally to protect Mac in the field. You were pretty sure his name is in your exact job description.

“You’re not on the clock” he says which in a way was true but not really. It wasn’t uncommon for threats to breach your shared home, the minute that happens you’ll be protecting him then too.

“MacGyver, get to the question” you tell him even though you’d rather he walk out and never ask you any questions ever.

“Today you looked, well you never usually look like anything. But today you looked hurt, dare I say heartbroken” and you feel all the air sucked out of the room because you had shown emotions past your exterior and Mac had seen them.

“I don’t know what you mean” but you couldn’t look him in the eyes and he knew. He knew it deep in his bones.

“Look Y/N, maybe I could be wrong. That it was all just concern but if you feel anything for me the way I feel for you than that look was so much more than that” his words almost didn’t register. Your heart caught them before your head did. It was ramming against your rib cage and your head was snapping towards him because MacGyver of all people just admitted to having feelings for you.

“Feel for me?” you questioned quietly, your eyes locking on his own blue ones. You had seen Mac serious about many things before but somehow this seemed like more.

“Are you kidding me Y/N? Of course I have feelings for you. I spend all of my time with you considering we work and live together. On top of that you are always taking care of me and are the most interesting person I’ve ever met in my life. I was in love with you within a month of knowing you. Jack would always tease me about it” a small squeak left your throat at his confession. Wondering how you had never seen it before.

“Jack knew?” maybe it wasn’t the best question at the moment, but since Jack had passed it was hard to bring him up. Knowing he had passed away and there were things none of you guys got to tell him.

“Yeah, I always promised him I’d tell you how I felt one day and every day since he passed I’ve been breaking that promise more and more. So here I am not breaking it” he told you, a hand running wildly through his hair.

“What about Desi?” you wanted to make sure, needed to make sure.

“She’s just a friend. Most of the time I just flirted with her to get a reaction out of you” this was the most shocking of all. You’d expected him to say he had gained feelings for her too, but now as he sat at the end of your bed staring back at you with hopeful eyes you realized this was never the case.

“So it’s me?” you asked and a smile cracked across his face, a deep chuckle coming out as he dropped his head. His soft blonde locks dangling in front of his eyes.

“Yes Y/N. It’s always been you” he told you once he looked back up, and finally you allowed a real smile to cross your face.

“Well this is a first” you chuckled, hand reaching to grab your glass of wine. You gulped back the last sip and abandoned the empty glass, him watching you closely.

“What is?” he asked once you seemed to have your head straight.

“Having someone return the same feelings I have for them. I mean it usually never happens because I save face when it comes to emotions but here we are. You and me. In my room. Being adult and admitting things like attraction” you blabbered lightly and Mac laughed, a wide grin on his face. You suddenly had the urge to grab hold of the deep red shirt he had on, it matching the color of wine on your lips.

“So you’re admitting you like me too?” he asked and you just rolled your eyes before shoving your book out of your lap.

“Shut up and kiss me MacGyver” and he wasted no time, a devious grin crawling across his face as he moved to climb over to you. The anticipation of him getting closer seemed to take forever but finally he was face to face, arms locked on either side of you, and you took a moment to inspect every inch of him. “I have good taste”

“I do too” and then he was closing the gap between you both. Lips slotting gently against your own. His mouth was warm and soft, much different from his calloused hands. Your fingers tangled in his hair, mussing it around. Kissing him was like taking in a breath of fresh hair and pretty soon his tongue was dipping your mouth, tasting the wine left behind from your leisure afternoon. Tangling your tongue with his own you realize you could stay like this forever, just the two of you, in this room.

“It’s so not fair” you said once you broke apart, foreheads pressed together and heavy breaths panting out of both of you.

“What’s that doll?” he asked and you sighed.

“You’re good at everything else, you can’t be good at that too” and he was laughing, arms wrapping around you as he rolled over and pulled you on top of him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you what else I’m good at too”

[bubbleddisasters]

Stupid Shit I’ve done/Gotten myself into by accident/been dragged into as Twisted Wonderland Characters:

—————-

Ace : Heard my sister screaming bloody murder downstairs and didn’t do shit because I assumed she was watching a horror movie. Turns out there was a fire in the oven.

Bonus: Sniped my friend in the eye from across the Cafeteria with a Ketchup Packet, Meant to hit his glasses, but he repositioned them at the last second.

Deuce: Answered Maine four times on a Historical Geography test and was wrong all four times.

Cater: Threw my phone out of the window in a panic after seeing one of my Idols followed me back.

Bonus : Accidentally convinced a transfer camper from Wales I was from London after I quoted something in the accent to myself in the showers and was too awkward to tell them I wasn’t when they struck up the conversation.

(I am from America, and the camp is in America.)

Trey: Accidentally created a puddle of Dark Red Icing and Stepped in it four times in a row while making a cake at 2 am.

Bonus : Befriended and helped out the owner of a French Bakery down the street when they started out, they ended up becoming really popular (rightfully so, her stuff is amazing) and now I either get free shit and/or Friends and Family Discounts.

Riddle : I have read the dictionary on multiple occasions out of sheer boredom.

Bonus: I once read the bible and marked down verses. Im not religious I just needed to win an argument.

Leona: Slept through an earthquake and 3 ambulances coming to my house bcs my sister was hurt.

Ruggie: Waited for families going inside to pass by and asked them to hold the door for me so I could sneak into a VIP rooms for free food. (Usually only at fancy hotels but luckily this strategy is flexible when your 5’2 with a baby face.)

Jack: Used to Smash open large rocks containing Crystals or Quartz at the beach as a kid, and now I have a large collection of them.

Bonus: I have extremely good hearing, to the point I hear into the negative decibels up to -15 - -20 (according to the audiologist this is rare but i literally don’t know shit about audio and decibels) so my old dormmates used to try and bribe me to tell them what I heard about certain things or themselves.

Bonus 2: Almost got shot by an illegal hunter while in the woods with my sister.

Floyd : Cracked my skull open at the pool, lost consciousness for a few seconds and woke up in the water calling for help, then got confused on why I was calling for help.

Bonus : A Sea lion once came up to me while I was scuba diving and did little circles, bumped its snout on my mask and just followed me the whole time in a very gleeful manner as a temporary homie.

Bonus 2: Apparently ate / took bites of my moms library books as a little kid (????) according to the librarian.

Jade: Taught myself to untie my hands with my hands behind my back, tie by hands behind my back with my hands behind my back, deciphered, translated and memorized a fictional hieroglyphic language, Read from Act 1 to Act 6 of Homestuck, and accidentally discovered how to disguise Chocolate Ice Cream as Pistachio; all within the span of 2 weeks. (I had covid and was A-Symptomatic)

Bonus : Lived in the Woods for 7 months (in total), had a large bag of mica and Almost Drowned in a tent when there was no moving water nor rain. (Basically, I was asleep, Woke up underwater, nearly went back to bed, then shot out of my tent screaming “My Tent Titanticed!” )

(It was like 3 am don’t judge me)

Azul: Somehow ended up with $2200 dollars in $100s in Monopoly at the end of the game. Also have been stuck between two identical twins while talking with both and boi that shits TRIPPY. (I also almost died with them later but it was fine)

Bonus: I lived on a middle of fuck knows where island during the spring and summer up until covid, yet I absolutely despise eating fish or Shellfish, and the smell often makes me nauseous.

(Bonus 2: I love shiny things, but very specifically fancy looking keys. I also had a weird obsession with signing a shiny contract after watching Ariel. Another tiny thing Is I own a Flotsam and Jetsam Scarf which I chuck around when Floyd or Jade pisses me off ingame.)

Kalim : Got distracted by a cool leaf while at a fancy resort in Xatapa, Mexico, and waddled off from my parents and explored around to try and find more, somehow managed to get extremely far and ended up lost in a whole different city for 6 hours while trying to find my way back.

Bonus 1: I had an obsession with Kiwis for awhile as a kid, and our neighbors house had a Pangium tree that reached over to our yard. (It was planted before either families moved in so we didn’t know) I thought it was some kind of strange Kiwi and ate one. I didn’t like it and was like “Oh maybe its not ripe” and waited 3-5 months then tried it again, same reaction, repeat process one more time.

I went to my parents out of curiosity and asked them what it was, and so after some process I am unaware of but I think my mom brought one of the fruits somewhere, we discovered what it was.

Pangium contains Fatal amounts of Cyanide if not properly prepared. I was fine but for the love of anything please don’t try eating it like little me did.

Bonus 2: I’ve Almost died more times than I can count on both hands and feet. Im not an heir or something fancy I just have wackass luck.

Jamil: Once had to talk my sister out of jumping off a tour boat because our cousin dared her to.

Bonus : Managed to make French Toast in the middle of the woods with Dehydrated Milk, Cinnamon, Three Eggs I stole, and a loaf of bread we got once a month. Also made 3 kinds marinated chicken in the middle of the woods.

(My Cooking Style is literally “just trust me bro.” I’m like Lilia except it actually works and is edible)

Epel : Whenever we went applepicking at my Grandfathers house, I’d climb into the trees and throw or pass the apples down. Sometimes I actually wish I could sit in trees more often shits comfy.

Bonus: My Mom was a Champion Horseback Rider as a kid, and sometimes took us to this Ranch I shall not name for my own privacy, but I’d run around with this group of kids and this one herding dog like a damn movie protagonist, sometimes go riding horses, or the one time we stole a tractor and near crashed it (THE REGRETS I STILL HAVE-) etc.

The WHIPLASH from that to going back to a whitewashed Northeast suburban town is insane.

Rook: My Cousins and I, and sometimes the kids at the priorly mentioned ranch, would play the most intense games of manhunt (basically really intense hide n seek at night) ,

I mean wearing camo if you had it, alliances, little dollar store walkie-talkies, code words, binoculars, climbing in trees or hiding in bushes/tall grasses/Hay to “scout”.

I hid in a large pot/vase more than once and another time on a roof, and (ONLY ONCE, DO NOT DO THIS IM STUPID) under a car.

I still remain the top in last man standing points. Mostly bcs I’m stingy with rescues but shhh

Vil - Accidentally poured a lot of liquid eyeliner into my eye, was literally crying out Eyeliner for 30 minutes. Also taught myself to run and jump in heels as a kid because I thought it looked cool in movies.

Ortho : Unknowingly was Hacking my Elementary School Databank for several years,

I genuinely thought it was normal to go on the school website, press a few buttons and be able to find a friends address if I had a playdate and needed to tell my mom where the house was, a parents phone number if needed communication with my friends parents , and mostly ignored the other general info.

I didn’t even know I did this until my dad told me a few months ago that I almost got suspended for it but by the time they found out it was the end of my last year there. ;—;

Edit: I feel I should elaborate that my dad had somewhat recently told me that I almost got suspended for that in elementary school, but all that happened 5 YEARS ago. Hence why I was so surprised because I was never told back then.

Idia: Accidentally acquired both a Nahida and Eula in Genshin and was genuinely annoyed at the time, they are now my most powerful DPS’s…

Bonus : I own a shit ton of original Japanese first edition Pokemon Cards my cousin gave me, (they are probably worth more than me which is neat), and I have a giant pile of Pokemon plushies I have infact fallen asleep on or in on multiple occasions.

Bonus 2: I was playing Breath of the Wild, and my very first thing I did after getting off the plateau was beeline for the castle. I actually got all the way up and took out 2 blights but the Wind one kicked my ass.

Bonus 3: Got confessed to and asked out by a guy I did not like nor knew very well, and I panicked, said “Maybe, Sorry no.” And ran into a wall. Also have crawled through a chute to avoid an awkward situation as a kid (do not recommend its dusty and definitely not safe)

Bonus 4: Once didn’t sleep for 5 days.

Malleus : Accidentally attended a Private Party and a Private Funeral in the same week. I was not invited nor knew anyone present. Stayed there for most of it because I was too nervous to say I wasn’t supposed to be there. Whoop.

Bonus: Got nicknamed the “Trip Curse.” By my Old Dormmates because everytime I went on a trip with them everything seemed to go to shit or get hella chaotic.

Bonus 2: Another camping one: Once woke up at night with a shit ton of fireflies just chilling in my tent. It was serene but also I genuinely thought I was hallucinating for a few minutes.

Lilia: Literally will hang upside down anywhere I can, its so fun bro.

Bonus : I know an extremely large amount of useless historical information, and once genuinely realized I know more about poison than what flour and eggs are used for in baking.

Silver : Once befriended a wild horse ( Im like 90% sure he was a Chestnut).

I called him Clover the Dog like horse because he was honestly just a golden retriever in the body of a horse.

This is great and theres alot of sweet moments, but then theres the times you have a giant horse galloping full speed at you for attention or trying to nudge you affectionately and nearly pushing you into a creek in the process.

Sebek: Got groundstruck by lightning once. Also I am often told I have a loud voice.

Che’nya : a good friend of mine and I have an inside joke at school where if we see eachother through a window (my school has alot of indoor windows for some reason?), we’ll text the other “Behind you.” Or “To your left.”

——————-

Theres more things I can think of but I have run out of characters and this is getting too long, so ye!

[valaenatargaryensdragon]

Hiii

Daemon Targaryen x reader she’s leana twin and marry daemon. Leana dies and on the funeral everyone see that Rhaenyra children as bastards. Vaemond and daemon actually make an alliance to take driftmark from lucerys when the time comes and maybe marry on of daemon daughter to vaemond son. Rhaenyra try talk to daemon but he reject because he love his wife. And he also what’s the throne to himself because he have legitimate children

A/N: I hope you like it!

pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Valeryonwife!Reader

summary: She’s Leana twin and marry daemon. Leana dies and on the funeral everyone see that Rhaenyra children as bastards. Vaemond and daemon actually make an alliance to take Driftmark from Lucerys when the time comes and maybe marry on of daemon daughter to Vaemond son. Rhaenyra try talk to daemon but he reject because he love his wife. And he also what’s the throne to himself because he have legitimate children

Word count: 2,0K

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, mention of bastards, mentions of injuries and blood

Masterlist 1

Masterlist 2

Your whole body trembled as you slid down your dragon. Your dragon gave a loud roar in response to your despair. Your twin, your other half had passed trying to birth her third child and failing to do so leaving her to burn herself to death by her dragon Vaghar. Your wet eyes trailed to your husband a few feet away ordering his own dragon to leave for now. Your dragon followed after the red dragon without question, your dragon were very fond of each other feeling your and Daemon's feelings for one another.

"Mother" Your head turned to your eldest of five, Maelor, barely past his ten and third nameday.

"My darling" You ran a hand over his shoulder not wanting to embarrass him even though you ached to ran your fingers through his curly white hair that matched your own.

"Are you alright?" The sweet boy asked. You smiled lightly, it did not reach your ears as usual, and nodded your head. He was content with that and moved towards the rest of his siblings, ten namedays old Viserar, nine namedays Gaella, seven namedays Aerion and five namedays Rhaegal. Daemon moved to your side hair blowing against both the natural wind that one caused by your children's dragons flying away, even Rhaegal rode his dragon here despite his young age, you only agreed because there would over three chains holding him in place.

"Let us join the others" Daemon wrapped an arm around your waist. You nodded accepting following behind him to find the rest of your family on the other side of the palace. Your children followed you like ducklings.

Daemon's family watched you two, so close to one another, Daemon comforting you as you walked over to your family and your children so close to one another as well. You felt two burning gazes on you, Viserys the king and Rhaenyra the heir but ignored them both. You stood beside your mother silently holding her hand.

You opened your other arm for your niece who without question wrapped an arm around you. Sweet Rhaena whimpered in pain but held her emotions well in your arms. It was your uncle Vaemond who spoke in place of your father who was too hurt to speak which reminded you of your secret meeting a while back.

Flashback_

"What is the meaning of your visit?" Daemon was not shy to ask. You gave him a horrified look but he chose to ignore you. He sipped on the wine splayed on the chair by the dining table. You reached over to grasp his other hand in your own.

"I am here to make an alliance" Vaemond spoke. Your eyes squinted in suspicion. Daemon eyed you as well to see your reaction.

"What kind of alliance?" You asked voice strong and hard. Vaemond did not seem shocked at your change, you were no longer the young little girl who hid behind her mother's skirts. You were a woman grown, given the power to speak and voice her opinion, you were married to Daemon after all and it was no shock his influence on you made you stronger.

"One that will have your husband then your son on the throne, niece, one where the pure blood of Valeryon on the Driftmark throne" He spoked turning to glare at you. Your eyes sparkled with mischief at his words.

"How so?" Daemon asked intrigued. He placed his cup of wine on the table to give his full attention to Vaemon Valeryon who smirked in victory. He succeeded in grabbing the attention of the rogue prince.

"We need to prove Rhaenyra's infidelity, show that her boys are not only handsome but Strong" Vaemond smirked. He did not wish to voice his words so plainly. You chuckled at last name that left his lips. You turned to Daemon who was also smirking in amusement.

"Once that is proven her sons will be bastards int he eyes of the realm and no matter how much the king and my fool of a nephew claim them legitimate the people will not accept them and your sweet niece will be executed for adultery leaving you as the heir" Vaemond leaned closer to the both of you. His elbows rested on the table and looked like he was on the verge of falling of his chair when he was so close on the table.

"And driftmark?" Daemon asked leaning closer as well His grip tightened expectantly around your fingers. You also felt the blood rush to your head from excitement.

"Marry Princess Visera to my son Daeron, my heir and after I perish he will inherit the throne after me" Vaemond explained. You turned to look at Daemon, usually he was super protective over your girls but this was not a bad deal, this was a throne in the talking and also Daeron was not that much older than Visera only two or three namedays above her.

"Why should we accept? Why shouldn't we hand you over to King Viserys for treason?" Daemon asked leaning back against his chair. Vaemond looked at him with his mouth shut but his eyes twinkling with evilness.

End of Flashback_

You had missed the entire speech of Vaemond but from the reaction of Rhaenyra you knew he had spoke ill of her children. Her eyes wandered over to Daemon with a pleading look but he did not spare her a glance and focused on comforting you while they dropped whatever was left of your sister into the water.

"It will be alright, my love" Daemon whispered in your ear. You clutched Rhaena to you not letting her watch as her mother was put to rest int he sea. She buried her face in your bosom also not want to see and seeking the motherly touch from you.

"I know" You responded eyeing the heir across from you. In a matter of minutes everyone spread about leaving you to wander on your own in search of your husband who you had lost in the mess.

You walked further down the beach away from everyone else to the point that you could no longer see or hear them. You resumed walking hearing some hushed whispers not far away from where you stood. You found a rock and hid behind it peaking to see who it was and your eyes widened at the sight of Daemon and Rhaenyra with her hand on his bicep and a seductive sad look on her face.

"You do not understand uncle, they wish to hurt me and my sons" she whimpered. Daemon had his back to you so you could not see the scowl on his face or the way he shuddered in disgust. A burning fire of jealousy rose inside of you, you loved him and would be damned to let her sink her claws into him.

"What do you wish me to do?" Daemon asked turning to face her instead. She gulped looking up at him with innocent eyes.

"Take me to Dragonstone and marry me, I am sure your wife would not mind, it is normal for us Uncle, let us marry and shut their mouths" She reached a hand up to touch his face. Daemon grabbed her wrist harshly making her gasp and pushed her back.

"I love my wife and would never do such a thing to her" Daemon spat angrily. Rhaenyra looked like she was on the verge of crying.

"I need you uncle, I need your protection" She begged. He tried walking away but she held onto his arm like a child would do to it's mother's skirt.

"Why should I protect you or your Strong bastards?" Daemon asked pushing her hands away. Her eyes widened in shock and horror at his words. You chose that moment to appear and show them you were hear, from the look in your eyes Daemon knew that you heard more than you let on.

"Sweet husband our daughters seek your attention" You spoke sweetly. You gave a small sickeningly sweet smile making sure not to overdo it, your sister was just put to rest after all.

"I shall tend to my princess then" Daemon walked over to you and placed a kiss on your forehead before resuming to walk in the direction of the funeral. You turned to Rhaenyra letting your sweet face fall and a glare took over your face.

"Come near my husband again and I will cut your head off myself" You threatened. Her eyes widened in shock. She staggered a couple of steps back on the sand.

"Good evening, princess" You mocked before following after Daemon. Daemon did not leave your side for a second even when you put your children to bed.

"You heard her offer?" Daemon questioned letting a comb brush through your curls, it was laced with oils and creams to make it easier to brush through and to get rid of any tangles in the curls.

"Yes, she wanted to become my sister-wife" You smirked at him through the mirror. Daemon chuckled leaning closer to place a kiss on your neck.

"Yes, a disgusting idea" He joked. Your moment was interrupted by the sound of rapped and panicked knocking on the door.

"My prince! Your children-" Before the guard could finish the two of you were sprinting down the halls to the room you heard the most commotion from. Your body slammed against the door panting, your eyes widened at the sight of blood oozing from Maelor's temple and Visera's neck.

"Maelor! Visera" You ran over to them kneeling down to their height. Visera sobbed throwing herself into her father's arms once he was close enough. You placed your palms on Maelor's cheek swerving his head so you could see the damage.

"They attacked Aemond father, all of them" Visera sobbed into her father's side. Daemon crouched down beside you letting her face him. He placed a hand on her cheek pulling her closer to kiss the cut on her neck. She fisted his tunic on his shoulder trying to let out some of the anguish she felt.

"He called my sons bastards!" Rhaenyra shrieked from across the room. Your eyes finally trailed over to Aemond who was sat on a chair with his mother and maester by his side, the maester was stitching his now empty eye socket. You gasped in horror moving to stand on your feet.

"Is that reason enough for your sons to maim a prince! To hurt another and cut a princess?" Daemon yelled angrily. No one touched his children and went about unpunished even if he had to do it himself.

"They called them bastards!" She yelled back. Daemon took a threatening step closer to her but you placed a hand on his chest stopping him, you didn't want to have the blame moved form her to you and if he were to attack you would no longer be the victims.

"Tell me girl, what happened?" Viserys asked holding onto your daughter's shoulder to turn her to look at him.

"I was awoken by Maelor who had heard screams and we went down to see what had happened and found Jacaerys, Lucaerys, Baela and Rhaena all attacking Aemond, it was unfair and we tried to help him but prince Jacaerys had brought a knife, and he cut me-" She pointed at her neck wincing at the contact, it made you tremble with fury and both you and Daemon turned to glare at the brunette bastard.

"-Prince Jacaerys held Maelor back while prince Lucaerys maimed Prince Aemond and then threw him against a rock and there just was so much blood"She cried. She pulled away from her uncle and ran into her father's embrace again. You applauded your daughter's braver to speak the truth and so loudly.

"You hear brother, you grandsons hurt my children and maimed your own" Daemon hissed angrily. He let his hand run up and down Visera's back to calm her. You had a feeling that Viserys was still not going to punish Rhaenyra and her children but at least you turned on the fuse to the bomb, one that will hopefully end her and her bastard sons.

[firstfirerebel]

𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕥𝕠𝕣

Sumary: When Levi was forced to join the Survey Squad, he left someone behind, someone who had grown to hate him since then...

(Levi was forced to join the Survey Squad by Erwin, that's also why I don't like the ship Eruri [I love both, but together it's just toxic])

Pairing: Levi x fem! Reader

Warnings: Mention of abusive childhood, many traumas (bullying, mental abuse,...), angst, hurt

Years have passed since you last saw him. The guy you grew up with, and the guy who betrayed you.

Growing up was hard for both of you. You had more luck with the standard of the family, but still, your life was hard. Being the kid of two people who hated each other and only communicated by yelling and fighting wasn't exactly a good place for a child.

People around you always found something to mock and bully you. Kids your age were the worst. Except for him, you met Levi when you were forced to go to a club with your so-called father.

He never stopped drinking, so you just went to search for a silent corner to wait till this horror was over. But the only place that was at least a little bit calm was occupied with a dark-haired slim boy.

"Family problems?", you asked him.

"Something like that," he awnserd, and you silently walked towards and sat beside him.

"Wanna talk?,"

He shook his head for a 'No', which you totally got. You also wouldn't want to tell a literal stranger your deepest and darkest secrets, but on the other hand, letting it out would be better. It seemed like your whole life purpose was to hold the burdens of your family, no matter if you could take it or not.

"What's your name? I'm (Y/n). My siblings wanted that to be my name. It's ugly. I know,"

"Levi," he awnserd short and quietly.

"You know, my father is a lot here. It would be nice to have someone here I could spend my time with. Would you mind?",

He just blinked, which you got as a sign that he didn't care. But you weren't someone to give up just like that. Otherwise, you might have never managed to survive.

Breaking the ice was hard when it came to this boy, but after a few times of being there, he even told you that he actually liked your name and thought it was pretty. A little while after that, you caught him crying because some neighbor kids made fun of him (this was before his mother died, so he didn't know how to defend himself cause no Kenny). Those weren't new for you. They also constantly mocked you.

"Hey! Three against one? You're cowards!" After you managed to distract them from Levi, you tricked them into believing you went home when you really went to search for your friend.

You found him leaning onto a brick wall and sat beside him in silence.

"Thanks, but why did you do that?",

"Because it's OK if they make fun of me, but not if they make fun of my friends. I don't care what they do to me. I look out for you. And I know you look out for me. That's what friends are there for,"

Since that incident, nothing parted you guys. You even switched your birth necklaces to show that you were connected. But everything good must come to an end.

When his mother died, you didn't see him for weeks, so when you went to look for him, you met his uncle Kenny. You both pep him up again, and since your family didn't care about you, you decided to be with Levi since he needed someone after losing his mother.

Kenny taught you how to defend and provide for yourself, but that was it. He left you when you had learned it all.

"Even if he's gone now, we still have each other. Nothing really bad can happen to us as long as we have each other,"

It was you. Always you. You were the one who comforted him when he had to deal with shit. You were there for him to fix what society broke. And even after you allied with others, you two were the closest. No one could come in between.

That's what you thought.

After your team took Isabel in, you thought it would only become better. She even called Levi, her big brother, to his annoyance. It was like a sting right to your heart. But Isa didn't know what you both had gone through together, so you felt guilty of feeling this way. Besides her seeing him like her brother, didn't mean you were replaced! Your bond was stronger than that of siblings or lovers. Once you swore to never let anything part you, you'd never be separated, never.

Until one order changed everything.

You thought it was the Military Squad, but nope, it was the Survey Squad. You were the only one who managed to get away. But you watched from a distance how a soldier pushed Levi into a puddle of mud that had the consistency of water. Hell for him...

But when you went to go closer to hear what they were saying. You only heard Levis annoyed:"I'll join the Survey Squad."

A punch into your guts. He'd leave the underground. He'd leave you! Breaking the promise HE made you. And for joining a squad?!

You weren't someone who cried. When your whole body was covered in bruises because of a fight that didn't go as planned, no tear. Your family yelling and insulting you, no sob. But now your eyes became watery, and your vision blurry. It felt as if you were suffocated. Breathing was almost impossible.

As if the whole ground you believed to be steady and safe just tore open to devour you.

No, you wouldn't cry! Not because of him and especially not while still seeing him.

A few weeks after that, you luckily met Kenny again. It was more like he found you.

Since that scene, it was like you had to go through every trauma you experienced again, but this time on your own without someone at your side. Kenny told you of his new job at the Military Squad and that he could need a tough girl like you.

Training and years in hiding. That was your whole life from then on. With nothing on your mind, then to finally throw this damn birth necklace of him away. It was your kind of connection, your bond, after all.

Allying with the man that once left you and him. Just to tell humanitys strongest soldier one thing.

And finally, the day came. The Survey Squad decided to turn against the Military Squad. And that was your and Kenny's time.

Fighting your way to his side, just to slowly rip his birth necklace off your neck, look at him with disgust, and throw it into a mud puddle before his feet. With one word on your lips.

"Traitor"

[cabinofimagines]

Near Death Experience

I changed the text a bit from the request, but this is what worked for me! Pairing: Poly!Fierrochase x gn!reader, Alex Fierro x reader x Magnus Chase Request: Uh, hi. This is my first request so i don't know how to start, but can you make a poly!Fierrochase one? Maybe add a little bit of angst where the reader nearly dies in the mortal realm but suddenly Sam takes the reader to Valhalla (Sorry i suck at spelling cuz English id my second language) but Alex and Magnus doesn't know that and sobs themselves to sleep and becomes a lil' depressed until they see the reader at breakfast the next morning? If you can ily and thank you! If you can't it's fine and thank you and ily regardless :) Word count: 1.1k Warnings: mentions of death etc. -Asnyox

The day had started just fine, you were hanging with your lovers for most of it, going on a date. It wasn’t much of a date, as you three mostly decided to walk around Boston for the day. Away from Hotel Vahalla, away from other friends or duties at the Chase place. However neither of your lovers had expected to find you, passed out, after saying goodbye. 

Sam had been the way to inform them. Apparently you were caught off guard when you were making your way back to the Chase place, and you had been lucky enough to have stumbled upon Sam afterwards. Magnus couldn’t move fast enough to your location, and somehow he had felt like he had been too late, even if you were still alive, but unconscious. 

“Look, if I had been around-” Magnus started but Alex gripped his shoulder. 

“You weren’t,” Alex glared at Magnus, “You couldn’t have been! So don’t fucking blame yourself when you better worry about (Y/n).” Alex took a shuddering breath, “I will not grief- let you grief when they’re not yet dead.” She had been holding on, keeping up her appearance thus far, but it was crumbling. Alex sighed, holding back the tears she could feel behind her eyes, “Just focus on regaining energy, maybe they need more healing.” 

Magnus wasn’t a stranger to losing a loved one, but it had become rarer. He knew now that he could heal people, and that’s all you needed to get round, right? When he was around pain wouldn’t last long- yet somehow he hadn’t been enough to heal you. There weren’t any physical wounds, but why hadn’t you woken yet? Magnus wasn’t entirely stunned- he had noticed that when he tried to heal you, he hadn’t caught any glimpses of your memories and consciousness. Magnus normally didn’t have control over it happening, but when bringing one back from the brink of death if had always happened, and yet, with you, it hadn’t. Were you too far gone? Or did Magnus know you too well to need to catch your memories?

Alex didn’t want to face the reality- the fact that even in this world of gods, you might die. Alex had seen the impossible happen again and again, yet right now the possibility of losing you seemed so real. And she didn’t face any of this- not yet, not when you were still breathing. She wouldn’t mourn, cry, panic until you were truly six feet under. She had to be strong, she’s always had to be strong. 

It took you three days to wake up. Throughout these days you were never alone, Magnus and Alex took shifts, barely able to put up with the other while you were struggling. It wasn’t t that they blamed each other- it was their own inabilities to face their feelings and be vulnerable while you weren’t yet gone. You wouldn’t be gone is what they both wanted to believe, but crying over your unconscious form together was too close to admitting the dire situation. There was strength in denial. 

And then your eyes shifted, your mouth felt dry but your body didn’t hurt. You were uncomfortable- that was sure, but as you tried to move your arm to rub your eyes you were met with resistance. As you stretched your hand you notice another hand holding it tightly. Softly, you heard Magnus’s voice whisper your name, and you wanted to respond but it came out as a groan. The warmth- oh, the hand holding yours had been sweaty- left your hand, and you moved your fingers, bringing your arm to your face and finally rubbing your eyes, ridding it of some grub that had seemed to keep them closed. 

As you opened your eyes the room seemed too bright, and for a second you considered you had, somehow, arrived in Heaven. But, luckily, Magnus’s face disproved that theory. 

He helped you up, and at the same time Alex made his way into the room, carrying a tray. As his eyes looked at you, he moved quickly, putting down the tray next to your bed and helping Magnus to sit you up. 

As you drank your water, Alex realized he had been crying. He no longer needed to be strong, because you were back and breathing. There were still things to worry about but your imminent death had passed- and that allowed him the breather he needed to feel the emotions he had been denying himself for the past few days. 

Your glass was discarded- whether by your own hands or by Alex grabbing it as you finished neither of you know, but you are quickly engulfed in a hug. 

“Never do this again.” Alex demanded but you knew you couldn’t promise it, so you simply hummed in response. Magnus hesitantly joined the hug, not wanting to overwhelm you as you had just recovered, but he didn’t want to stay back either. After a moment you broke apart, although neither of your lovers let go of you entirely. Alex had unexpectedly kept his hand on yours, while Magnus had moved to sit next to you on the bed, entangling his arm with yours. 

“Sam said she didn’t know what got you,” Magnus said, staring at you unwaveringly, “but for some reason my healing didn’t work afterwards. Do you remember?” Your brain was still lacking any comprehensive thought, so you simply shook your head. You genuinely didn’t remember what happened, but it might come back to you. Magnus sighed, but did not press. He had hoped that maybe there was a reason, a simple ‘Oh this Norse creature cancels out healing magic’ but there wasn’t one. Yet, somehow he didn’t find himself caring too much, as he could feel your breath next to him.   It had been a bad time for your lovers, but they would get over it sooner rather than later. You hoped this would be the last time such a thing would happen, but you could never know, and in Valhalla your lovers were face to face with death every day, and eventually you would learn to just be grateful for the days that pass without injury. You only live once, after all. 

[themultifandomgal]

hi! can i please send in a request for a severide imagines where the reader is jay and wills sister and her and severide have been dating and the reader is a firefighter and gets stuck im a building. Thanks

Yes of course!

Kelly Severide- Stuck

Most people would think that our parents would be proud. Having one child as a doctor, one a police officer and one a firefighter, but no. Our mom died while I was young. Our dad, well we didn't have the best relationship and then he passed away. My brothers Will and Jay are my rocks and I love them so much, so telling them I am dating Lieutenant Kelly Severide was very nerve racking, especially because Kelly and Jay are such good friends. However when I did tell them they just had the usual 'you hurt her and I'll hurt you' kinda talk.

We’ve just had a call about a house fire, possibly arson so Jay and some of the other at intelligence will be there.

When we arrive I see my Jay and Erin waiting for us

“What have we got?” I ask walking over to them

“We think at least 2 people are inside. Just need your guys to do their thing so we can go inside to look” I nod my head at Erin

“Ok” I turn around

“Hey YN” Jay calls my name

“Hmm?”

“Be careful, we don’t know if the arsonist is inside. Could be armed”

“Well if you hear me scream then you know we have a problem” I say

“Don’t even joke about that” Jay scolds. I give him a quick hug and run back over to truck

“Halstead your with me” Matt says putting his helmet on. I nod getting mine. Kelly then takes my hand in his and gives it a little squeeze. Some thing we do when one of us is going on a job and we still need to be professional. I followed Matt and we both walk into the burning building

“Fire department call out!” I shout scouting the room. I follow behind Matt up the stairs. We open one of the doors to check in

“Fire department call out!” Matt shouts. I then notice a woman on the floor

“Casey” I say walking over to her. I feel for a pulse. It’s faint but it’s there. I take off my oxygen mask

“What the hell are you doing!”

“She will die if…”

“YN, Matt you need to get out, buildings unstable”

“We can’t leave her” I cough feeling the smoke starting to get to me

“Ok” Matt starts to drag the woman out while I hold her feet. Suddenly the floor under me collapses

“Halstead! You good?” Matt shouts

“I think so”

“Damn it” my alarm starts going off “Boden Halsteads gone down, permission for squad”

“Permission granted” that’s when my arm feels stuck

“Casey?” I call

“Yeah?”

“I think my arms stuck under the wood” I cough out

“Ok hang in there. Squad are coming in now”

Within a few minutes Kelly is hanging over the hole in the ground. I can’t stop coughing as I keep inhaling the smoke

“How you doing down there”

“Struggling to breathe” I chock out “arm hurts”

“Ok let’s get you out of here. Can you grab my hand?” I reach up but can’t get to Kelly “ok I’m coming down. Cruz get the rope and a spare mask” it’s getting even harder to breathe “just stay with me ok?” I give a little nod. Kelly drops down with a mask and places it around my face

“This is probably going to hurt like hell, but I need you to pull your arm out when I say”

“Ok” I breath out. Kelly lifts up the wood trapping my arm. The pain is excruciating as I pull my arm out and that’s when it all goes dark.

I wake up the the sound of beeping machines. Great I’m in the hospital. Slowly I open my eyes. My arm feels heavily. I look down and see it in a cast. Kelly immediately stands up gaining my attention

“The woman?” I croak. Kelly chuckles as he helps me take a sip of water

“Always putting people above yourself. She’s fine. Just smoke inhalation” I give Kelly a nod “your brothers are here. Want me to send them in?”

“Yeah” in walks Jay and Will

“How you feeling?” Jay asks walking over to me looking worried

“Like I’ve got some sort of throat infection”

“You’ll have a bad throat for a day or two” Will tells me

“I know the drill. Remember this isn’t the first time I’ve inhaled smoke”

“That’s not a sentence any of us want to hear” Will says sitting at the end of bed

“When can I go home?”

“Well since you have such a loving caring brother who’s also a doctor..” I give Will a kick with my foot “ok ok. Tomorrow, just have to watch you overnight. Now I need to get back to work. I’ll see you later” Will kisses my forehead before leaving me

“You both need to go back to work as well” I tell Jay and Kelly

“You going to be ok on your own?”

“Kel I’ll be fine. Seriously it’s just a broken arm and sore throat and anyway I’m sure April and Maggie will pop in to see me. Go”

“Ok. Love you”

“Love you too” Kelly bends down and kisses my lips

“Alright move away before I throw up” Jay pulls Kelly back making us chuckle “see you later” he also kisses my forehead. Jay then pushes Kelly out the door

“Love you!” I shout to my brother and Kelly trying not to laugh. I’m so lucky they all get on, I don’t know what I would do if they didn’t.

[disaster-priestress-sumire]

The way Haydée and Mercédès are paralleled, and contrasted, in The Count of Monte-Cristo is so obvious.

Contrasts

Haydée represents light (it's in her very name), hope and faithfulness. Mercédès represents the past and betrayal.

At first, Mercédès refuses the vengeance and its motives. She asks the Count's forgiveness and, when it doesn't work, asks for her son to be spared because he's innocent. Haydée has her very own vengeance to fulfil.

Monte Cristo and the narrator both describe Haydée as young, while Mercédès keeps describing herself as old.

Facing hardships

Haydée bears the trials of life with dignity, even when she reports what she went through (she does express emotions, but she forces herself to explain how things happen), while Mercédès uses pathos and rarely acknowledge other people's trauma.

Past and future

For Haydée, no matters how many things hurt her, the past is something to review, to enjoy. It is also a bridge toward the future, a way to pass the time.

"I shall rejoice in the prospect of your coming, and in the evening dwell with delight on the happiness I have enjoyed in your presence; then too, when alone, I can call forth mighty pictures of the past, see vast horizons bounded only by the towering mountains of Pindus and Olympus. Oh, believe me, that when three great passions, such as sorrow, love, and gratitude fill the heart, ennui can find no place."

– Chapter 49: Haydée

For Mercédès, the past is a regret never leaving her. It's the ghost of the person she loved haunting her life, having all the reasons to hate her and her family. It's a trap in which she ultimately locks herself in, because it's the only happiness she thinks she can have.

"The bitter cup of adversity has been drained by me to the very dregs, and I feel that the grave is not far distant. You have acted kindly, count, in bringing me back to the place where I have enjoyed so much bliss. I ought to meet death on the same spot where happiness was once all my own."

– Chapter 112: The Departure

The end of the book pictures those two visions. Haydée sails with Monte Cristo toward their future (what can represent more possibilities than the open sea?) while Mercédès stays in the old house of the Dantès, surrounded by memories, waiting for her death.

Heaven, Earth and Hell

Several women are compared to angels in the book, but Haydée is the only one Monte Cristo calls that way. She's also described as a goddess. He describes himself as an angel of vengeance (so does the narrator) while the Morrels call him their guardian angel. Mercédès is on the opposite side of the spectrum. She's implied to be paralleled to the God of the Underworld, since she tries to feed Monte Cristo pomegranates (chapter 70). She doesn't belong in the heavenly sphere—she states so herself:

"I once possessed piety, innocence, and love, the three ingredients of the happiness of angels, and now what am I? (…) Like the gulf between me and the past, there is an abyss between you, Edmond, and the rest of mankind."

– Chapter 112: The Departure

(Edmond Dantès is also bound to Hell obviously... but only Edmond Dantès, who had to cross it, who died in it, to become the Count of Monte-Cristo. The narrator stops calling him Edmond Dantès after he escapes the Château d'If and sees his old home empty.)

Free will

Haydée takes up the reins of her life when she wants to, she holds herself accountable for her decisions and is ready to face the consequences.

"Although a Christian, may God forgive me, I have always sought to revenge my illustrious father. (…) [The count] is quite unaware of them, and I have but one fear, which is that he should disapprove of what I have done. But it is a glorious day for me."

– Chapter 86: The Trial

On the other hand, Mercédès does not want to. She pictures herself as a victim of the situation.

"Alas!" exclaimed Mercédès, "if it were so, if I possessed free will, but without the power to render that will efficacious, it would drive me to despair."

– Chapter 112: The Departure

Love and Death

Maybe the most important point of all (the one that matters the most to Monte Cristo).

Haydée states several times in the course of the book she'd die without Monte Cristo. Those aren't mere words: they are a fact. While the death vow token by Mercédès in Chapter 3 is empty ("If he is dead, I shall die too.") and she ends up regretting it ("I believed you dead; why did I survive you?" – Chapter 112).

[fishhawish]

𝒖𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒚

Xiao x Reader x Kazuha

Type: Angst no comfort

Context: You're also an adeptus, the wife of the well known adeptus Xiao. Except You know you're the second choice when the almighty traveler shows up. All he wants is her, over his own wife and precious family.

Fem or at least afab reader

Tw: cheating, reader dies, part sexual mentions, character dies

<3

Sobbing out your heart, as your lover refuses to even acknowledge you anymore. The anguish of knowing that every night he is in another women's arms, comforting her instead of the one who holds his offspring in her womb. Growing jealous of the attention he gives her daily. Growing envious of the qualities that she has and you don't. But of course she's the first choice. She's beautiful, kind, strong, intelligent, popular and charismatic. Nobody would ever choose you over her, not even your own partner.

Your heart will ache every time You hear their noises overlapping in the love making that You and Xiao did, 8 months and 20 ago. To think the father of your child will be absent possibly due to him raising a kid with another women hurt your heart. It hurt worse than any other battle scar you've acquired, even with the arcon war. He chose the traveler he's known for but a few months compared to the lover he's had for eons, battles or not, you where supporting him.

Sometimes Ganyu takes you to the mountains. She pitys you, attempts to convince you to leave for the better, but it never seems to happen. She's truly your best friend. You two will pick qingxin flowers together while you both relax. she's trying to support you, she's excited to see your child. She'll be deemed the god mother and auntie of the child. She already loves her niece to death.

One day though, you've come to realize you don't love Xiao anymore, you love the memories. And your feelings spark once more upon meeting a certain samurai, he gave you the attention you deserved, he held you tight for the last few days of your life. He took you on a date and visited you, he wrote you poetry and even cooked for you. You showed him spots in liyue. He even asked you to travel with him. And since your contract with Morax was broken, you comply. If Xiao could have another, so could You. He's had one for six months of your pregnancy. And you've known Kazuha since 4 months of pregnancy.

Except it doesn't go accordingly. On the day of your child's birth, there was casualties. The samurai and the beautiful cryo adeptus by your side. Kazuha looking worried sick, terrified, he knew you weren't going to make it. He was fully dedicated to becoming a step father for your child. Even if he didn't know you for eons, he fell in love, with you and your child. He was happy to step in as the father figure.

Ganyu sobbing, holding your hand begging you to not die. She has also been besides you for as long as she can remember. You're like family to her, a sister. Someone she wants to protect with her life. She too knew you wouldn't survive. She savored your last smile to her, telling her to take care of your child if you don't make it. This compelled her to break down entirely.

You did infact not make it, your child was 12ib. Too big, they had to do emergency surgery mid session. The samurai and adeptus, heartbroken next to your corps. She is holding your child, and he is cradling your cold body. Your child was named Xiu, meaning beautiful, elegance and grace. Kazuha taking the child into his own arms, swearing he'll protect it with his life.

All while this was happening, Xiao was taking Lumine on a date. He was unaware his wife has passed, his child was born. Zhongli came to also visit expecting to see the child healthy, which was right, but the mother wasn't. Zhongli sat in a moment of silence for your death, even shedding a tear that his beloved adeptus has passed. But then Zhongli notices something off.

"Where is Adeptus Xiao?" He says calmly. Ganyu explaining everything that Zhongli was unaware of. Zhongli's guilt crushing him. He was furious, if Xiao could stay so loyal to his contract of fighting for liyue, even when it was broken why couldn't he stay loyal to the contract of being bound as a lover to one. Zhongli assured that he would arrange to speak with Xiao soon on the topic.

Kazuha takes your child, He knows it is not his but is fully dedicated to it. He intends to raise her as his own. He knows Ganyu is a busy woman, and it's dangerous for Zhongli to take it in because of his contract with the Fatui. He is sad that the child will not settle for a while. But he hopes that it will learn quickly because of this and become strong, healthy and intelligent.

Xiao doesn't even realize the lack of your presence anymore. It has been two months, and this situation was only made visible to him when zhongli asked to speak with him. He invited Zhongli in gladly and asked what he needed. But when he realized the truth, Xiao didn't know what to do. Although the conversation goes smoothly and quietly, Xiao is dead on the inside.

Something inside of him just, fell apart. He asks about his offspring, about their location, the person they're with, where is your grave. And as soon as zhongli leaves, Xiao begins to panic. Rushing, teleporting to your grave, everything feels unreal. He fell onto his knees upon it, seeing your name under the tree on top of cloud retainers mountain. He begins to shake, and for the first time in a while, he lets out tears, he screams in agony.

Even this cannot compare to his karmic debt. He hears Lumine calling for his name but doesn't tend to her. He cried so much that he felt he couldn't cry anymore, as if he has sobbed all of the liquid out of his body. And by the time it was morning he finally left to look for his kid. He tracked down Kaedehara Kazuha who was heading to Mondstat. He saw his child in another man's arms and begins to break down again.

"Are you adeptus Xiao?" The samurai whispered softly to him, rubbing his free hand against Xiaos back while holding the child in his other. Xiao only nodded in response and holds out to the man who let him hold the baby. Xiao cradled it in his arms, crying hugging it and giving it small kisses on top of it's head. Telling Xiu how much he loved them. Xiao didn't want to let go. But he knew he had to because Zhongli and Ganyu entrusted Him with it.

Kazuha took the child back, frowning at Xiao. "I miss her too" was all he said before Xiao disappeared. The thing was when Xiao returned, the death of the traveler who died to a hillichurl raid was spread everywhere. Xiao managed to loose both of his partners so quickly. Although he believes it's what he deserves for being greedy and not being there for you.

[rosalinrabbit]

Nectar of the Gods

Blue Banisters Track List

Pairing: Robb Stark x Fem! Mormont Reader

Warnings: Hurt, hurt no comfort, past relationships, family deaths, briefly mentioned violence, final goodbyes, pure angst, Robb being an idiot and putting the North in danger

Summary: After the death of your aunt and your father, you knew you had to return to Bear Island. You couldn’t take it anymore, watching Robb live a life you weren’t a part of any longer. When the King in the North himself finds you packing your bags, many things left unsaid finally come to light.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N:  This is the start of the Blue Banisters Track List!! (A new project which is likely going to be a bit inconsistent in terms of order and posting)

This fic is a mix of show and book canon if that makes sense? I was rewatching the show and every time we get to the whole Robb x Talisa plotline I lose my mind at how weird it is but I digress. 

You are in charge of your own media consumption. Please read responsibly.

Do not translate or re-upload any of my work. Works are only cross-posted on AO3.

< What sweet world is this? Honey on the vine..

School kid dreams came true, then passed in the night

I used to dream about people like you, now I don’t know why… >

-Lana Del Rey, Nectar of the Gods

You hurried to pack your things from the tent you had once shared with your aunt, the one you still shared with two of her daughters, your cousins, Dacey and Lyra. Maege’s oldest and third oldest. The rest, Alysane, Jorelle, and Lyanna, remained at Bear Island. 

The she-bear is no more. When her daughters decided to remain by the King’s side, you knew you could not. Then, the message came from up North. From the Wall.

To your luck, the raven’s message landed in the hands of Catelyn Stark, not her son’s. It was Catelyn who came up to you, pulling you into her tent to talk alone. Her eyes alone saw the tears when she told you.

Your father was dead. Killed by his own men in a mutiny beyond the wall.

You were taught better than to react in the way you did, in disbelief and agony. In shock. You had stared at the older woman for a few moments before you could even process her words, yet your eyes seemed to beat your mind to it, tears streaming down your face as you stared past Catelyn, towards the opening of the tent and out into the beyond. 

When the sobs broke through, you felt her hands on your arms, holding you up so you wouldn’t fall over, bringing you close and providing you with the comfort only a mother could, even though you would never get to call her by that name.

Even though she herself had expected you to one day.

You were thankful that Catelyn atleast understood your pain. While you hailed from Bear Island, while you held the name Mormont and were loyal as can be to House Stark, while you knew how to fight and lead like the rest of your family, the pain of it all weighed on you. As much as you tried to hide it, for the pride of your house, for your own dignity, it was far too much, and you and the Stark matriarch both knew the pain went beyond the death of your father.

It was everything inbetween. 

The two Stark girls whom you loved like sisters, in what felt like increasingly mortal danger because of Robb’s rebellion. 

The death of your aunt, who cared for you as though you were her own when your mother died, when your much older half-brother Jorah disgraced the house, and when your father left to take the black.

The fear for your house and your future, leaving your dear young cousin Lyanna at home and in charge of Bear Island with her mother’s most trusted advisors.

The fact that your father was killed by his own men, by the job he had commited his life to. 

The heartbreak of Robb moving on.

The anger caused by his stupidity.

The moment you learned he had married that Westerling woman, the one who traveled along with the infantry, healing men who probably didn’t have a chance, you knew this war was doomed. Not because of what Walder Frey would do, but because of Robb’s clear lack of foresight. How could he not see what the rest of you saw? All for one woman.

You had never asked that of him.

Your engagement had been broken off when the war began. He told you he wanted to keep the engagement but did not want you to be a target, and you had told him that the greatest chance he’d have at winning this war was through an advantageous marriage. One that would offer far more than your family could. You didn’t do it because you didn’t love him, no. The both of you were desolate at the reality of it all. In your mind, you hoped he would refuse to marry throughout the war. Hoped the “young wolf” would be strong enough, that he wouldn’t need to. But you knew better, and you knew he needed the numbers. If Arya and Sansa were going to survive, he needed a stronger army and a wife that could offer more to him standing by his side. 

When he promised to marry Walder Frey’s daughter, your heart broke. Yet the passage was worth it. The North was worth it.

You would do it a thousand times over for Sansa and Arya, and you’d do the same for your own young cousins that were like sisters to you. Not that Dacey and Lyra needed protecting, but if they did, you would do it for them without much thought. 

For his family, for his sisters, you broke the engagement. 

And Robb threw all of that away, and the North along with it, by marrying Talisa.

As you changed into more suitable riding clothes, you couldn’t help but think of the past. Of when you thought you had it all figured out. You closed your eyes, and tears slipped out at the memories of him.

Holding his hand and walking through the glass gardens. Braiding Sansa’s hair. Chasing after Bran and Arya as they climbed up walls and through windows.

Or when he kissed you in the Godswood, telling you that you were standing on the spot where you would eventually marry.

Lies.

You would never have any of those things again.

“Y/n?” 

You startled at Robb’s voice, wiping away any stray tears and turning around to prepare to face him, hiding your bags behind your back. 

“Yes, your highness?” You responded bitterly as he entered the tent on your response.

“Please don’t call me that. When did you ever get so formal?” He muttered.

“I’ve always been formal to those who require it.”

“I do not require it of you.”

“Your station and our relationship does.”

“You mean our lack of a relationship?” He bit slightly before calming again.

You stood, unmoving, eyes glazing past him as you waited for him to get on with it. He stepped forward and you stiffened.

“I had realized we never spoke about Maege…” He stepped even closer and his hand reached up before you quickly took a step back from him, confused at his purpose and his words. He looked at you with a pained expression at your coldness, and it just made you angry. None of this was your choice. “Your aunt was a great woman,” he began. “I know you loved her deeply, and she looked after you like you were her own. I am truly sorry for your loss.”

Perhaps, under different circumstances, Robb’s condolences may have made you soften. May have had you second-guessing your choice to leave. Now, looking at him, you could hardly recognize the man you once loved. He spoke with the compassion he always seemed to hold within him, yet the way he stood, the way he looked, he had this strange self-righteousness. As if this could save you from your pain… and what of your father? He must not know.

You stood there staring at him before you spoke, in as neutral a tone as you could muster. “We have all made great sacrifices, your highness. I believe my aunt may rest easy knowing her own sacrifice, that of her life, saved countless others.” Unlike you, you thought to yourself. No, he sacrifices others. Not himself. 

Robb wasn’t an idiot, and his expression sunk at your words. “I appreciate every sacrifice that has been made on behalf of the North.”

Sadness and anger were welling up within you, and gods, you wanted to yell at him. You wondered if you could still get away with something like that, yet you simply muttered, thinking of your father, your aunt, the stark girls. “And a great many, indeed.”

“Y/n… do not insinuate that I do not know sacrifice. I have lost as much, if not more, compared to all those here.” 

“Whatever you believe,” you spoke, looking directly into his eyes, “it doesn’t really matter in the end, does it? It doesn’t matter what we’ve lost, it’s already gone.” You turned your head away, willing tears to stay put in your eyes.

“I am sorry.”

You didn’t know what he was apologizing for. “It is what it is.”

“I made you a promise. And I broke it.”

“You did.”

“Why must you always act like it doesn’t matter to you?” He scoffed, frustrated. There was a pause. “Were you.. were you packing up your things to leave?”

You turned to look at your bags on the bed.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, your highness.”

“Don’t call me that, please, for gods sakes. And all I ever wanted was an ounce of pushback from you! We were to be married, and you gave that away so easily, yet now you punish me for it every day because I married Talisa!”

“Robb,” you spoke harshly, stopping his rant, giving him what he seemed to want. An honest response. “You’re right, I am angry with you. Just not for the selfish reasons you think I am.”

“Well if you’re abandoning the war effort, it’s better for me to hear it now before you’re taken prisoner.”

You sighed at his childish threat. “I think you haven’t seen a single thing I’ve done. Of course breaking the engagement mattered to me! How could you not see that? You know how much I loved you, how on earth could you really think I gave that up so easily? Without second thoughts? I did it for you! And you’re so far up your own arse at this point that you can’t even see that! I sacrificed my love for you for the lives of your sisters. For the chance to win this war. Is that not a good enough reason for you? It’s not that you married Talisa, it’s that I agreed to end the engagement while under the impression that it would change the tides of the war. That you would marry a Frey and secure the twins. But you didn’t do that, Robb. And it felt like a knife in my back.” Robb stood a few paces away from you, a hurt expression across his face, one of shame and sadness. “I made that sacrifice for nothing.”

“I love her. That’s why I married her. I loved, I still love, you… I could not marry a woman I did not love. It wouldn’t have been right for either of us.”

“This is not about love, Robb. It is about duty, and honor. I know you believe what you did was honorable, honorable to the sanctity of vows and marriage… but you killed hundreds if not thousands of our men with your choice. Is that worth it to you? Is that truly so honorable, if it meant breaking your promises?”

“We will make it right with the Freys, and pay our debts another way. But you, you broke your promise to me. And now you stand here with your bags packed, is that not breaking your promise, too?”

“I did it for your family! I did it to try to save your sisters, and I did it for you! How can you not see that? And I’m leaving now because my family is in trouble, my cousins just lost their mother and now must rule the island. I’ve given up so much for you, for your family…” You rose your voice in anger, beginning to lose control of your emotions, hands beginning to shake as you tied up your bags.

“Even if they are family, what would your father think of you being a deserter?”

“Do not speak of my father-“ your voice broke, tears welling up in your eyes. 

“If you were under his command he’d have you killed for abandoning your position, y/n,”

“He’s dead, Robb!” You yelled, eyes locking to his, tears dripping from your eyes like spring rain. “My father is dead.”

“Y/n- I didn’t know,” Robb’s face had fallen to one of sympathy, his hand reached out for you, to comfort you like he had so many times in the past. And this time you let his hand reach your shoulder. You stiffly let him protectively put a hand on the top of your head, and pull you into his embrace. After a moment, you relaxed into his warmth, exhaling shakily as the tears kept coming. “I know how much he meant to you. I am so sorry…”

“Robb, you have to let me go,” you whispered, and you knew he understood you meant he needed to let you return home, because his hold around you was maintained. “I don’t have anything left for me here. I want another chance. A chance to be happy. I want to protect and defend my home, and the family I have left.”

“I can’t,” he told you earnestly. “I can’t.”

“You’re married, you moved on… So why won’t you let me?”

“I didn’t, really. I couldn’t.”

“But you did. You can’t take any of it back, Robb. And I know that I can’t either.” You paused to collect yourself before continuing. “Do you want to know how my father died?”

He was silent for a moment before asking, “how?”

“His own men killed him. There was a mutiny.” His grip around you tightened. “My father was an incredibly respected man. And in the end, no matter how much he did right, he did not pay enough attention to what was right in front of him. I don’t think he ever considered just how possible it was that his men would turn on him.”

“The North is stronger than a band of criminals. We have a family name to stand behind, we have bannermen who swore oaths for generations. It is different,” he rationalized, looking down at you. And you looked up, and then, you could remember why you fell in love with him. With his handsome face and dark curls, his fierce yet pragmatic nature, the overwhelming protection, and the way his adoration for you shone through his eyes. The way you could feel it. And your heart hurt, because you thought he might be wrong. His eyes stayed on yours as you spoke.

“Nothing is as strong as it seems, Robb… You just crossed Walter Frey. One of the most selfish men I’ve ever met, the lord of a great river lands house, and of the crossing, which you desperately need for this war… I could be wrong. I could be, but I’ve already lost you. I’ve already lost your sisters. I’ve lost my aunt, who raised me as her own, and I’ve lost my father. I cannot be here anymore. There is nothing for me here, and while I can never forgive you for the choices you made, I also cannot bear to lose more of you than I already have.” 

Robb brought his hands up to your face, brushing the water from your eyes as his own eyes welled with tears. 

“You have to let me go,” you pleaded again, voice barely even a whisper. 

“I know,” he nodded. “At least let me get a horse and supplies for you. Meet me at the eastern edge of the camp.”

And with that, he quickly withdrew his hands, leaving your tent without a second glance.

As you waited, you ensured you had packed everything. You double-checked the items and re-laced your boots before throwing on a warm cloak and stepping outside. The air was growing colder, and with the winds came winter.

You quickly made your way to the edge, and by the tree line you spotted him. Standing with your horse, already saddled.

He was silent when you approached, and could not meet your eye as he took your bags and attached them. He automatically held a hand out to help you mount, but when you took it, he looked at you again. And he truly looked at you. His eyes ran over the details of your face, like he was committing it to memory, and held your hand like a lifeline. He looked at you with sad desperation, pulling you into a hug once more, tucking your head under his chin and holding you so tight you could hardly breathe. When his grip loosened, he placed a tender kiss to your forehead, and within it held every memory, and every touch. 

“You know where to go. Just promise me to be careful. Go quickly, don’t stop for anyone… I love you, y/n.” His voice sounded hoarse, too much emotion behind it to even speak of.

“I love you too, Robb,” you told him, staring deep into his eyes as you cried for what felt like the millionth time that day. “And I am sorry that wasn’t enough.” 

He simply nodded, and helped you onto the horse.

He did not look at you as you fixed the hold on the reins or the lay of your cloak along your back, but as you urged your horse into a galloping pace and you looked back, his eyes were fixed on you.

You knew then that you would always love him, and no matter how lost he made you feel, and while you could never forgive him, you could now move forward. You knew you could find your way.

Whether Robb made it through or not, your situations wouldn’t change. Too much had transpired to ever go back.

No, even if you both survived this war, you knew that this would be the last time you ever saw Robb Stark.