#it is privilege to not have to look out for racism/etc in your spaces

[breadandblankets]

this applies to real life too but you as a white (for a given definition of white) fan need to be willing to put in the effort to curtail not only your own racism but to a lesser extent the racism of others

fans of color have been doing this for years and it's an extra effort they have to put in just to participate in fandom, that's on top of the extra effort real life racism takes on a person

the bar for entry is not the same height for everyone

[olderthannetfic]

I do think a lot of the problem and the reason that more people (like the ones who seem to think that "top/bottom as myers-briggs personality types" jokes are exclusively coming from female-centric fandom spaces rather than gay male offline culture - which, btw, ignores that a whole bunch if not most female fanfic writers are themselves queer and there's a similar set of jokes and stereotypes in the lesbian community, but I digress) don't seem to understand what offline queer culture is like on here is that way too many of the people setting the tone for this in The Discourse on Tumblr are very young people who are newly out. In particular, a huge amount of the gay men on here who are telling people how very Problematic this is (when they're getting it from gay men and not circular discourse among other women in fandom who are claiming to speak on gay men's behalf) is coming from young gay men who don't have much of a community offline, and especially young gay trans men who often aren't yet presenting as male outside of the Internet. It's really hard to talk about, because it so easily risks saying those people's identities aren't valid - and like, we've seen TERFs weaponize that discourse to suggest that gay trans men involved in fandom are just straight women who identified too hard with their blorbos or something, as well as the endless use of "passing privilege" to suggest that bi people in F/M relationships are "basically straight" - but I think one thing people need to understand better is the difference between "your identity is valid, your personal experiences with homophobia/transphobia/etc. are valid" and "your judgments about the larger community that your identity makes you a member of are valid." Like, you do actually have to participate in a community to be able to be able to talk about what the consensus in it is, what the cultural norms are. You have to actually look up the history in order to know that history. If you're going to speak on behalf of All Gay Men you probably should know some beyond yourself - including ones who are not Very Online and/or aren't active in fandom - and that goes for both cis and trans gay men. (And the same is true for every subdivision of LGBTQ+, I've seen similarly bizarre takes about "lesbian culture" from 17-yro lesbians who clearly haven't talked to any outside of Tumblr and insular, dramatic Discords.)

Like, to use an analogy here to another kind of oppression: say you have a black person who was adopted by a white family very young and lived in an exclusively white neighborhood and doesn't know any other black people. Obviously, they are still black, and obviously they still experience racism (probably especially because they're an outlier in that community). Obviously, their own understanding of their identity and their experiences with racism are valid. But they aren't necessarily going to have any better of an understanding of the broader black COMMUNITY - cultural traditions, history, etc. - than a non-black person who was similarly not exposed to that community. They can only speak for themselves. And someone who isn't black but grew up near/in black communities (for instance, perhaps another transracial adoptee who was adopted by a black couple? or even just a non-black person who grew up in a heavily black neighborhood) might actually have a better sense of that broader community/culture than they do.

And this isn't a hypothetical. I've heard stuff like that about feeling like outliers in black American culture from everyone from the aforementioned transracial adoptees; to multiracial black people who were raised primarily by their non-black family; to black people who are recent immigrants from Africa rather than descendants of slaves; to black people from Europe or other parts of the Americas, who have some similarities in their culture but it's not completely 1:1. And especially from people who are some combo of the above. They have an understanding of themselves as black and of their relationship to race and racism, of course, but don't really feel like they have a particularly strong understanding of The Black Community or The Black Experience as we understand it in the USA.

I think what a lot of people don't understand is that newly-out queer people are often like that. A lot of other marginalized identities - like being a cis woman (this applies less to trans women unless they've known from early on) or being a POC - are ones where you grow up with an understanding of what that means and often a connection to a broader community that gives you some kind of consciousness of what it means to be A Woman or Black or Asian or whatever. But with queerness, it's usually not something you fully understand about yourself until adolescence or adulthood, and even when you do, you don't necessarily have access to a "community" around that until that age because you're probably being raised by cis straight people. You have to take time to discover that community and learn about it, and the culture and history that goes with, and when you start out you're going to be just as ignorant as a straight cis person who is similarly isolated from queer communities. (And frankly, a straight person with a lot of gay friends might know better than you do at first! As a lesbian with a lot of gay male friends, most of whom couldn't care less about my slash fanfic hobby if they even know about it, that's precisely why I know that these takes on Tumblr are so bizarre)

(Disability is the interesting one because it sometimes overlaps with this, sometimes doesn't - and one of the big divides in the community IME is around people who have lifelong understandings of themselves as "disabled" vs. came to it more recently, whether because the disability itself is a new thing or just their diagnosis of it. A lot of people in the second group can have very similar experiences and act in similar ways to newly-out queer people, and I know because I've lived both myself, lol.)

I think people have taken the idea of "everyone is the best expert on their own experience with oppression and their own identity" and distorted that into some weird essentialism where being gay or bi or trans or whatever gives you automatic understanding of "queer culture" or "queer history" without having to do the actual work of talking to people, participating in that community, studying history, etc. but that's just not true. Anyone can study that history and get to know those people. And yeah, as a queer or trans person you'll have a better opportunity to really deeply know and be part of that community than straight cis people with queer friends ever will, but you still have to like. Actually put yourself out there! You're not going to find it by just discoursing in a vacuum of ignorance.

--

Sadly, to all the Olds, this is very, very obvious, but there's no way to make it obvious to the people doing it. It's a matter of experience.

[spacelazarwolf]

i just had a thought i am going to attempt to express but may not do so well

there’s a chance that the reason you attract so many assholes is because your jewish but “white”. people can be racist to you but if someone accuses them of racism they can claim that they cant be racist to you bc your white and obviously antisemitism isnt real as far as a concerning number of leftists are concerned

this makes you a prime target for white-supremacists/racists who dont want people to think they are

idk if this makes any sense and if it does its probably something you thought of and have mentioned already but it came into my head and I couldnt get it out

it's actually kind of fascinating bc no one on this website (save like two ppl i am friends with irl) actually knows what i look like. and someone who doesn't follow me or interact with any of my posts where i talk about my complicated relationship with race and ethnicity will have absolutely no idea about my background. i don't have any pictures of myself or indications in my bio or pinned post about whether or not i'm white. the only thing they see in my bio that they have to go off of is "jew" so their perception of my experience under white supremacy is entirely shaped by their preconception of jews.

if they think all jews are whiny, entitled white people who may have been oppressed a while ago but the holocaust is over stop milking it you're actually all privileged, then that's what i become. so any read of my posts will be through a lens of "whiny white guy who thinks he's oppressed."

if they think jews are conniving, corrupted subhumans who are conspiring against them, then that's what i become. my posts will be read through a lens of "predatory thing trying to infiltrate our community that we must protect ourselves from."

but of course, it doesn't just have to be either or. a lot of the time, it's both. the jew is simultaneously weak and pathetic, and aggressive and dangerous. which is why the rhetoric in a lot of posts about me or the discussions i'm part of sound.....Like That. bc the thing is, you don't have to be a bona fide white supremacist to have these be part of your subconscious biases. i've encountered people who are intensely dedicated to antiracist work, trans liberation, workers liberation, feminism, etc. who still hold these antisemitic biases. bc antisemitism predates every single one of these concepts, and people are simply not willing to go back that far for such a small group of people. so progressive spaces become a hotbed of antisemitism, and progressive jews are left with nowhere to go. and it sucks.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @lqtraintracks.

I got into fandom a long, long time ago, way back before I found HP in 2012. My early days in another fandom (days meaning years) are not a time I want to revisit, even though it started out really good. I got to explore my sexuality for the very first time there. I met my first gf there. And those things were beautiful, for sure; they were just short-lived. After a couple of years, I met an abuser, and from then on my fandom life was predetermined by them—what I could and couldn’t read, could and couldn’t write, who I could and couldn’t form friendships with, etc. And even in the midst of that, there were those friendships that bolstered me. @elrhiarhodan, I’m looking at you.

But after 13 ½ years of that… I found HP. And I found a wonderful person who would change my life. I met Shelly / @unmistakablyoatmeal. For the first time in a very long time, I saw someone writing queerly and freely, who, far from being limited to one pairing for life, was writing all kinds of pairings (and threesomes), dynamics, and stories! I was so powerfully drawn to that freedom, and to her, and in no small way, she and this fandom are why I survived, and how I escaped and started to change my life and reclaim it as my own. 

I’ve met so many wonderful people here, many of whom have become close friends, my best friends. I’ve been writing all the queer smut my little queer heart has desired for many years now, and it’s been beyond amazing.

But something changed for us a few years ago, and our community hasn’t been the same since. The person who wrote the canon turned on us. She revealed herself to be all kinds of monstrous. 

There were clues, of course—the antisemitism inherent in her Goblins, the fat phobia, the queer baiting without any actual rep, the racism and ignorance shown in naming Cho Chang, etc. We knew but maybe we didn’t want to know. And being white and not Jewish, I lived under an umbrella of privilege that meant I didn’t have to see it until other people began pointing these things out to me.

But then the transphobia started. And kept going. And it became her platform. And it got worse, and worse, and fucking worse

As painful and horrific as that has been, it seems to have done what that sort of vile bigotry has always done though: It’s shown us that we are and will always be stronger, wiser, more loving, and ultimately undefeatable. I’ll speak for myself: I wasn’t writing trans characters before. I was afraid I’d get it wrong. JKR’s evil bullshit is what pushed me to get over myself. 

This fandom is where I have learned the most about the queer community I love. It’s where I’ve truly learned to write. And it’s where I’ve learned about facets of queer life I’d never connected to properly before out of the fear of trying. 

Here’s what I’ve learned: Bloody no one comes together like we do! No one supports one another like we do! We’ve forged a stronger bond because of some terf’s hate, and I feel closer to my fellow queer creators than ever.

This fandom, you beautiful people, have taught me so much, continue to teach me so much. I’m honored to share this space with you. Happy Pride to all you gorgeous people being your trans, nb, fluid, ace, bi, pan, poly, intersex, queer, powerful selves.  Thank you from the bottom of my little queer heart. I love you.

Thank you, LQ, for joining me in the Library. I love your declaration of fandom as ours, and the recognition that we are a stronger community because of what we've overcome. Thank you for celebrating Pride in the Library with me.

If you want more @lqtraintracks be sure to check out their work on AO3! I just finished reading her Phoenix in the Fire and I was hooked the whole time! I couldn't stop until I'd devoured the whole thing. I think you'll be just as hooked as I was. I also want to throw in how much I loved A Strapping Young Man - I loved reading about Harry's desire for Draco, and how Harry's desire is bolstered by Draco's confidence.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

[queerism1969]

Since TRANSGENDER AWARENESS WEEK (Nov 13-19) is coming I wanted to say some things

"Transgender people are people whose gender identity differs from the gender they were thought to be at birth. 'Trans" is often used as shorthand for transgender." - National Center for Transgender Equality

Some trans people are exclusively women or men, while others have a gender outside of the man/woman binary (nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, etc). Trans people do not choose to be trans. Trying to make a trans person cis (non-trans) won't work, but it will hurt them.

In many countries, trans people face significant oppression, harassment, and violence. Here's how you can help:

Vote for leaders who stand up for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community 

Promote inclusive policies in your community, especially in schools

Avoid buying from corporations that have transphobic policies

Respect everyone's pronouns and names (it's okay if you slip up at first, as long as you're trying)

Ask the trans people in your life what you can do to support them

Start an online community or a blog that deals with an issue that is important to you

 Donate money to an organization providing direct services for transgender people

Recognize that being transgender is not about how someone looks

Recognize that everyday conversations can have an impact.

Risk your privilege to clear space.

Do NOT out anyone (or allow their peers to do so) without their consent – this can create dangerous situations for the trans person in question.

Promote Puberty Blockers, Social Transition, Hormonal Transition

 Acknowledge that being transgender is a spectrum. Some people want surgery and/or hormones, while others don’t. 

Don’t tell someone “I never would have guessed you were trans!” or “oh, I thought you were a boy” or “You pass really well!”

Watch out for your trans friends.

Don’t say “transgendered.”

 Try to start removing binary language from your everyday conversations.

Stop pretending only trans people experience name changes or surgery.

Do anything you can to stop trans-exclusionary radical feminists (TERFs) from leaving stickers, leaflets, etc.

Gender and sexuality are not the same things.

Trans Lives Matter should be more than a hashtag. 

You are not a true ally if you allow your partner to use transphobic language.

Don’t forget that racism is rife in the queer community and trans people of color are often the most vulnerable.

Watch Pose, Paris is Burning, Tomboy, Tangerine, Heartbreak High, Heartstopper, Sex Education, Feel Good, Sense8

Also, these are some google extensions you can use to get around censorship and misinformation:

Snowflake: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/snowflake/mafpmfcccpbjnhfhjnllmmalhifmlcie

Touch VPN: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/touch-vpn-secure-and-unli/bihmplhobchoageeokmgbdihknkjbknd

Shinigami Eyes: https://shinigami-eyes.github.io/

[estrla-a]

                    ♔     ——— — -  𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘'𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐋 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 :   but a person so mentally unstable cannot change.     your words freeze me up like your mouth is Antartica,     &.     your brain is scolding due to your visit to your throne in Hell.     i've suffered many tragedies inside my own mind.     𝑳𝑬𝑻 𝑰𝑻 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑼𝑵𝑭𝑶𝑳𝑫, 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑶 𝑴𝑬 &. 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑼𝑰𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵     a mother's love is all that is good     &.     holy, but what is it worth to Satan ?     you would know, since he is in fact, your creator...     𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗘𝗗 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗖𝗛 !

                    𝐒𝐎 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓’𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐘 𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐘,     &.     𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐗𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ; 𝘐 𝘙𝘌𝘚𝘖𝘜𝘕𝘋 𝘛𝘏𝘠 𝘎𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘚𝘚 '𝘔𝘖𝘕𝘎𝘚𝘛 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘛𝘏𝘙𝘖𝘕𝘎.     #𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐋𝐀 :     𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙆𝙍𝘼𝙀𝙃𝙀.     an independent / private     &.     heavily headcanon / pilot based     𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗔 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗨𝗩𝗔 𝗕𝗢𝗦𝗦.    blog is dash only, mid amount of formatting     &.     low maintenance.

𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝘽𝙇𝙊𝙂 𝙄𝙎 𝙍𝘼𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝙈 / 𝘿𝘿;𝘿𝙉𝙀     &.     may contain the following content :     non-parental incest, dub con, sexism, marital / verbal abuse, violence / gore, classism / racism, slavery, age gaps, homophobia / transphobia     &.     child neglect.     𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞      all of these are to be tagged such as 'cw insert topic here'  — under no circumstances will bestiality or sexual content of minors be tolerated. i do not use catch-all tags, such as x don’t look or x don’t see nor do i require one for myself.     i will tag trigger warnings     &.     i will tag URLS :     do not pressure me or try to control who i write with. do not ask me my financial situation, sexual orientation / experience / preferences / kinks or fetishes, relationship status, mental disorders / medical history, etc. quite frankly, that’s nobody’s business but my own. 𝙙𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙞𝙛 :     pro callout, smut-only blogs, shota / loli blogs, muns under 21 years of age, shame others for their sexual preferences, non-RP blogs, antis of any sort, if you have an extensive DNI persons list... this is not a safe-space for puritanical antis ! if agreeable to these terms, please continue to the blog rules under the cut...

𝐈)     mod is over 25+ years of age.     i will not be providing my discord unless you’re a close friend.     timezone is PST.     goes by any pronouns.

𝐈𝐈)     this is a problematic character from series that takes place in literal hell.     Stella is, for the most part, a rude, privileged     &.     entitled individual who grew up extremely wealthy &. has very little to no ounce of kindness in her.     she is as condescending, homophobic, racist, sexist     &.     probably transphobic as they come.     𝙞 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 — 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨.    AUs are my jam.     𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩.    spoilers will not be tagged. leaks, should i ever come across them, will be tagged accordingly.

     i can’t write NSFW worth a damn, it’ll be rare if i actually write it out in full here — i prefer to write that in discord.     Stella is hard to ship with, so please don’t automatically assume romance unless prior discussion / interactions take place.     i currently don’t really ship her with anyone.

     𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜...     animal abuse, animal cruelty    &.     trypophobia.

𝐈𝐈𝐈)     my Stella is not only heavily physically based on her pilot design but also how i 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙚𝙙 she would be like 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙩.     Stella is a lot more calm than her canon counterpart — it doesn’t mean she isn’t explosive when she reaches her boiling point, just that she has a bit more patience, poise     &.     grace before getting there.     she is married to a prince, after all, she’s been trained her entire life for this.

     my canon voice for her is 𝙀𝙢𝙢𝙖 𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙨𝙤𝙣 with mannerisms akin to the character she plays in the 2021 film Cruella, Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada     &.     even a bit of Rarity from MLP.     𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙮𝙖𝙡 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝘿𝙊𝙀𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙈𝙀𝘼𝙉 𝙞 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚.     i aim for my Stella to not disrupt the flow of canon — though i write her slightly different, none of it would affect the actual events from the show, if that makes sense.     Stella still gets pissed when she’s cheated on, she still hires Striker to off Stolas, etc.     also, i adore duplicates — lets have a Stella party !

     𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙄𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝘼 𝙍𝙀𝙌𝙐𝙄𝙍𝙀𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏 but it would be  𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 if you could give this post a like or send me an ask stating you've read my rules !

𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑲𝑺 !     bio.     grx.     metas.     asks.     promo. cws. sc. blogroll.

[rivetgoth]

fr i know reddit is like a giant cauldron full of poison but if u go on any of the misogynistic "mens rights" subreddits theres a HUGE amount of trans guys

Yeah like. Idk, there has been much better writing on this by more eloquent experienced theorists and activists but it is an undeniable truth about marginalized identity that certain groups will develop this mindset that they were entitled to some form of privilege that they were denied— Usually in the form of the initial mindset being “if I’d just been born in the oppressor class I’d be afforded the privilege that rightfully should have been mine.” I think this is an understandable and complex instinctive response to oppression but the issue is that lots of people don’t work to uninternalize and work through these things and try to think critically about this first-instinct response. Because it is extremely fucking toxic to hinge your worth not on the desire for equality but on the desire for PRIVILEGE and more than anything it ends up coming out via attempts at punching down at other marginalized groups in order to feel superior and regain some of that perceived owed privilege.

Cis women do this as transmisogynists who implicitly or explicitly are functioning under the belief that had they just been born male they would be afforded the privilege they’re rightfully owed. White gays do this under the pretense that had they just been born straight they’d be owed some form of privilege and it usually comes out as very obvious racism, often towards nonwhite members of their own community. It’s a common mindset in incel spaces among incels who feel that they are at some uncontrollable disadvantage that makes them feel inferior to other men and entitled to some sort of privilege they were denied. And trans men FUCKING DO THIS ALL THE TIME TOO. It’s so fucking easy as dysphoric trans men living in patriarchal cultures to see the privilege often afforded to our cis counterparts and feel that we missed out on something, that their privilege is something we should have been given and were denied for reasons outside of our control.

And they’re right, in a way, right? Like, if I’d been born a cis man I would probably have very different opportunities in some ways than as a trans man. But like, one of the reasons this whole mindset is still a very privileged one that leads to isolating at best and outright targeting at worst other marginalized people is that it leaves no room for intersectionality at all. The idea that a gay man is afforded privilege for being a man that was denied purely due to his sexuality becomes a moot point if you’re also black, or trans, or a woman. For example. It also leads to a really nasty assimilationist “you’re making us look bad whereas I’m the shining example of being as close to normal as possible” mindsets a lot of the time. Andddd it is straight up counterproductive to any move towards actual equal rights for anyone because it’s continuing to uphold systemic inequality and oppressor/oppressed classes, with the goal of marginalized people being to BE an oppressor class, rather than to dismantle them.

So like. Yeah. Trans men have this massive fucking issue of just seething over the fact that they are not afforded the privilege that [white, straight, gender conforming, able bodied, thin, etc] cis men have. I get it. I think a lot of trans men really struggle with self acceptance and it comes out as both self destruction and tearing down others. It’s the root of a lot of the really aggressive truscum types IME, like read between the lines and you can almost always identify the actual root of their anger is that they are insecure about themselves and are projecting that onto others. I say that as a dysphoric trans man who has been in those spaces and has at points in my life sympathized a lot with some of them. A lot of it is born from insecurity and I think that’s quite normal for a marginalized person, especially a young one and especially one dealing with dysphoria at the same time. I also think it’s bullshit to make this a foundation of your theoretical discussions on the marginalization that we face or to allow it to go unchecked just because we are oppressed though. I think spending even a few seconds in any trans man-dominated community makes it very obvious that there is a glaring issue of unchecked bigotry towards other groups and replication of toxic masculinity happening. I have seen so many posts on FTM subreddits that boil down to “women are so shallow for not wanting to fuck me” and/or “if I’d just been born cis then women would want to fuck me.” There is a lot of completely unnecessary hostility towards trans women including very frequent accusation that trans women somehow have it easier than us, usually due to “visibility.” To be blunt I think basing privilege on how “visible” an identity is in the mainstream is like, a thirteen year old’s concept of marginalization and privilege/oppression dynamics and has no bearing on the workings of the world whatsoever.

I am critical of the trans guy community because as a guy who has been dysphoric my whole life, grew up closeted in a very conservative area, was called slurs through my teenage years, transitioned as a young adult after an incredible amount of strife from family, as a trans guy who is openly bisexual and kinky and weird and gender nonconforming, who is non-op and has PIV sex and wears makeup and jewelry with a beard and a flat chest, who has been involved in the IRL queer community for years and whose friends are almost entirely trans people and crossdressers and drag kings and queens and weird kinky gays of all types, I am NOT keen on the way so many of us allow this victim complex “life is so unfair to me” ass mindset to inundate trans man spaces and destroy our solidarity with other groups and each other. I do not think dysphoria or oppression or internalized or external transphobia or whatever is an excuse for punching laterally or down. I think trans women are our closest and most crucial allies in our fight for equality and autonomy and I see them as my sisters and friends. I have fought hard to be proud of who I am as a trans man in a way that hopefully does not knock down anybody else and I do not understand why we can’t talk about our pain or the nuances of our oppression and marginalization without it turning into a game of “who has it worse” and becoming volatile towards other groups of vulnerable people.

And like. I don’t appreciate the fact that I as a trans man complaining and disagreeing briefly about the wording of a popular post made by another trans man on my own blog, with the username of the other guy cropped, turned into bitchy ass online trans guys telling me I have poor reading comprehension and don’t know how to form a real argument. As if it’s my job as a trans guy to fucking write a goddamn manifesto any time I wanna say “I think this is dumb” on my own damn blog about INCREDIBLY niche insular intracommunity discourse. Like how are y’all fighting for our rights and voices when a fellow trans guy so much as saying “this is stupid” in the context of explicitly defending trans women on a post is enough to warrant waking up to like half a dozen guys throwing a fit in my notifications about how I’m a self-hating trans man who needs to word my 30 second complaints better if I ever want to be taken seriously and not face some imaginary online social ostracization.

Idk. Obviously getting off topic but yeah. I have not and never will feel very accepted in trans guy spaces nor do I like the way so many trans guy spaces allow their members to talk about other groups. I stopped using r/FTM after I made a post on there asking that people curb their weird biphobic posts about how they don’t want to date bisexual people because it would make them feel like they aren’t real men (SUPER common sentiment on there) and I had my notifications inundated with guys mansplaining dysphoria and internalized transphobia to me like that’s a fucking excuse for constantly suggesting that bisexuals are shallow sex-obsessed transphobic whores or whatever and some even accusing me of “being bitter that they don’t want to fuck me” as if I’m not a fucking bisexual trans man asking people to just like. Check themselves and their biases sometimes. Like Jesus. I feel like so many trans male-dominated spaces are just so filled with misery and entitlement and a willingness to eat each other and other marginalized groups alive. Even the fact that you can’t step foot into lots of FTM spaces without a ton of posts shitting on DI scars or phallo results OR shitting on guys who DON’T get either surgeries just feels ridiculous. Like what are we doing. Where is the solidarity where is the community where is the sense that we as marginalized people can uplift the voices of other groups and work through our issues to be wiser and kinder and more thoughtful and caring than those who do us harm?

[strkid]

Here’s a framework that has really helped me grow from my shameful experiences as a white person navigating anti racist and anticolonial organizing;

It’s not supposed to be comfortable.

The overwhelming shame you feel when you look back at a conversation or something you said or did is there for a reason.

The pain is teaching you that your whiteness is something that holds power in a space, that you have the capacity to cause hurt when you don’t act mindfully.

Your whiteness is like a weapon that you can’t choose not to carry. Either you learn how to handle it safely, or you risk harming the people you love.

You cannot choose not to have it. It’s there.

And hiding from spaces where you might embarrass yourself; hiding from diverse spaces or hiding in places where you don’t have to confront your own whiteness and it’s power is the most cowardly thing you could possibly do.

You have to go back in there even when you feel like you’d rather die. Sit with the shame. Let it force you to grow.

You only had to learn about whiteness as a teenager or possibly as an adult. You weren’t forced to even realize that you’re white, it’s something you can step out of. Your self awareness, your anti racism, is something you have the privilege to chose to forget.

So don’t you dare do that. Don’t you dare act on that impulse.

You have to honor every person who has broken the social script to give you feedback or call you out, or who has put effort in spite of the power dynamics between you, to explain your whiteness to you.

They’ve explained it to you for you to use your privilege to be a race traitor. To call out racism and demand change in white spaces, from other white people.

But it will be clunky. It will be awkward. You will make mistakes. You will do it wrong.

And you’re right that it’s not okay that you don’t already know this. It’s true you shouldn’t be making these mistakes.

But you will. It is unavoidable. Your options are make them now or make them later, and make them and learn from them or make them without learning.

The awkwardness, the guilt, the shame, the clunkiness, the embarrassment all of it is part of the process.

Let shame replace defensiveness. Let embarrassment and awkwardness replace the drive to prove yourself, prove that you’re not like other white people. You are.

You have to sit with these feelings. Let them pass through you with grace.

Apologize when you have to, but learn to do it subtly and with grace

And when it’s not appropriate to apologize which is most of the time, just commit to changing and growing instead.

(Don’t force your friends of color to cater to your hair trigger sensitive feelings of shame and guilt. It’s not their job to coddle you. Do better next time and move on)

If you must vent about the difficulty of this process, do it to your blog do it to your therapist, or do it to your white friends.

And also don’t worry so much about yourself and how YOU come across and what others think about YOU. Worry instead about what others are feeling and what you can do to be a good friend.

If you feel like you’ve really embarrassed yourself in front of your friend of colour in one way or another, and you feel you MUST do something about this

Get them some chocolates or buy them a coffee or bring them a gift or help them out somehow rather than force them to participate in your feelings.

(Ever since I started focusing on this; on when I feel overwhelming white guilt I try instead to just do people favours and get them gifts etc, in ways that are subtle and meant to not be noticed, my friendships have significantly improved; I’m able to be present with them instead of overthink)

I guess basically don’t involve the whole world in your self awareness process.

(And just to be clear this post is basically a diary entry. It’s not intended as political theory but rather like the intersection of your inner emotions and political opinions. Perhaps also on the intersection of mental illness+political awareness. How to have an anxiety disorder without making your anxiety someone else’s problem)

[corrieaspen]

SW Marginalization & Variance

While SW is an industry that is marginalized/stigmatized, the degree to which SW is stigmatized upon individuals is dependent on foundational concepts of intersectionality.

Let's fist start with a basic definition of intersectionality. Kimberle Crenshaw, legal scholar and badass extraordinaire, created the term and framework in the late 1980s while exploring Black feminist literature and theories. In a short, informative YouTube video, Crenshaw states that intersectionality is a way of "understanding the ways that multiple forms of inequalities or disadvantage sometimes compound themselves." Forms of inequalities can be racism, sexism, classism, ableism, heteronormativity, etc.

To illustrate this concept, let's look at a fictional case study.

Subject 1: Anna Anna is a white, able-bodied, cisgender, thin, upper-middle class SWer. She meets conventional beauty standards and has had access to higher education to obtain advanced degrees. Anna is able to live a comfortable lifestyle. She takes clients when she wants and is able to screen clients thoroughly. She has access to wealthy clients who cover her living expenses and take her on lavish vacations. She blends in with their lifestyle due to her appearance, and she understands the cultural norms of upper class spaces and places.

Now, let's think about some ways that Anna has privileges that lessen her stigmatized role as a SWer in society.

whiteness: Workers who are white, white-passing, and who are in close proximity to whiteness have stronger chances of attracting a wide range of clientele. Our western society has conventional beauty norms that are in favor of attributes of whiteness. Black and brown workers oftentimes are unable to set their rates at the same prices as their white industry peers. Check out my Wage Equity in SW post for more on this.

able-bodiedness: Disabled folks have increased barriers to work and are highly stigmatized by our society. They are frequently infantilized and devalued. Disabled workers may also be subject to non-consensual fetishization.

cisgender: Workers who identify as trans face increased levels of harm, violence, and non-consensual fetishization. Kelley Robinson, president of the Human Rights Campaign Foundation, states that the violence that takes place against trans and gender-nonconforming folks is "the result of a society that demeans and devalues anyone who dares challenge the gender binary."

thin: Our western society is rooted in ideals that are based on Eurocentric concepts of beauty. Thin-ness is one of those concepts, and fatphobia is rampant here in the states and abroad, due to the global colonization of many parts of the world by European and Euro-adjacent agents of chaos. Fat SWers also face increased levels of non-consensual fetishization and devaluing of their services. There are many larger-bodied workers on Twitter who have shared their experiences about having to cap their rates at a certain limit or clients would not pay their rates. I know multiple gorgeous, larger-bodied workers who charges significantly less than their industry peers and I know it's because of their body type and size. It's infuriating.

class: Ah, the age-old divider and gatekeeper to a wide range of experiences. Class discrimination and struggle goes back to Marxism concepts and discussions of the ruling class and the proletariat. We won't get into that here, but it's interesting stuff to delve into if you have some time on your hands. Let's focus this brief discussion of class on access. Anna has access to spaces and places that workers who are not part of upper-middle class social groups do not. She is able to afford a lifestyle that allows her to purchase the clothes and jewelry of her choice, live where she wants, potentially afford a separate incall space from her primary residence, afford cosmetic procedures, and take trips to spas and other places of self-care and maintenance.

All of Anna's privileged identity markers combine to give her access to less stigmatization and less mental and physical stress than her industry peers who do not have access to power and privilege in the same way, and with the same frequency, as Anna does. Let's think about our own privileges and the ways in which we can reduce struggle and stigmatization for all marginalized workers.

[rasif-khan]

✅ || Here's 100 general rules for life that everyone should follow:

If you’re not following these rules, what are you even doing?

Tell the people in your life how much you appreciate them.

Keep a balanced diet.

Pay your bills on time.

Don’t wear a white shirt when drinking grape juice, red wine or when eating spaghetti.

Reconnect with old friends.

Make new friends.

Invest in experiences, not things.

Make time to travel.

You don’t need to say “yes” to everything.

Floss your teeth.

Get a decent pair of running shoes.

Your story can be rewritten. Nothing is set in stone.

Don’t fill up on bread at the restaurant.

Job rejections are never personal.

Develop a new hobby.

Have a mentor and be a mentor to someone.

“I don’t know” is an acceptable answer.

Don’t buy household appliances from the dollar store.

A handwritten thank you card goes a long way.

Just because you’re available to do something doesn’t mean you have the capacity.

Take your medication.

Normalize going for therapy and make it accessible to everyone.

It’s okay to go out wearing sweatpants. We all have our “sweatpants radius.”

It’s okay to not have everything figured out yet.

If your pet appears during a Zoom meeting, you are obligated to introduce them.

Normalize turning your camera off on Zoom.

Saying “I don’t see race” is not a solution to racism.

Take a day off.

Don’t skip breakfast in the morning.

Start every day with a set of goals, even small goals, of what you’re planning to accomplish.

Order in once in a while. You deserve it.

Limit your use of social media.

Join a support group.

Disability is not always physical.

Disability, gender, race, etc. are never independent but rather intersecting concepts.

Everyone has a voice.

It’s okay to ask for space.

Crying is a vital life skill to have.

Keep a well-stocked fridge.

Cook with fresh vegetables.

Eat some chocolate once in a while.

Everything tastes better with cheese.

Do some yoga.

Relationships take hard work, but when you meet the right person, it’s worth it.

Manage your finances.

Don’t watch the news. It’s anxiety-provoking.

Look after your mental health as much as your physical health.

Do some yoga.

Challenge your misconceptions.

Uplift marginalized voices.

Donate your time, energy or money to support a good cause.

Get married if you want to get married. Have kids if you want kids. Don’t do it just because it’s the thing to do.

Life paths and career paths are not linear.

Eat with a fork and knife, unless you’re having ribs or wings.

Someone who is nice to you, but rude to a server, still isn’t a nice person.

If you see someone having lunch alone, join them. Be their friend.

If you have to choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never done before.

Make a point of asking someone every day how they are doing. Never underestimate the value of checking in.

Not everything needs to be said. Have a social filter.

Do one thing a day that scares you.

When in doubt, go for a walk.

Replace the milk if you finish it.

Slow down and take breaks. It’s not a race.

Honesty is always the best policy.

Revisit your childhood memories.

Stay off your phone in the evening.

Practice mindfulness.

It’s okay to fail but own up to your mistakes and learn from them.

Take off your shoes when you’re at someone else’s house.

Bring something if you’re invited to someone else’s house.

Give people the space to be upset instead of telling them to relax.

Bring a phone charger wherever you go. It’s not heavy and you may need one.

Pursue meaning instead of happiness.

A bad day is not a bad life.

Listen to audio books/podcasts.

Sing in the shower.

Scented candles are great for relaxation.

Never spend a whole day inside. Get fresh air.

Put the toilet seat down when you’re done.

Be forgiving of yourself and others. We all make mistakes.

No one expects you to be the best version of yourself.

Have a creative outlet.

It’s okay to acknowledge your privilege but use it to help others.

Don’t clip your toenails in public.

Be aware of your surroundings.

Stretch your muscles.

Moderate your coffee intake.

Drink tea.

Stay hydrated.

Invest in a planner.

Get enough sleep.

It’s okay to be lazy. Productivity ebbs and flows.

Get a plant.

It’s not their “preferred” pronouns. It’s just their pronouns. It’s not a choice. It’s literally their identity. Use the right pronouns.

Don’t tell someone that they’re stronger for any traumatic experience. No one wants to hear that.

Get out of your comfort zone.

Take an improv class.

You’re never too old to make changes in your life.

Sometimes you may not feel fantastic, but you are.

Love yourself, no matter what..!!

@highlight

#Murshed

#writer

Murshed Al Islam Rasif

Md Towhidul Islam

© Md Jonaidul Islam

Place: Toitong Bazar, Pekua, Cox's Bazar, Bangladesh.

[barbierpt]

respectfully i think you said it yourself - you state your views don't come from a place of privilege then on the topic of gal state you haven't experienced genocide. that IS a privilege. privilege can feel like an accusation, but it is simply that you have not ever experienced x or y and so to you it is just someone being triggered by a fc -- but the pain and discomfort people feel is part of their everyday life. there is a lot of performative activism with fc stuff, don't get me wrong! but a lot of it isn't - and the anons in your askbox have been from people who are affected by the things actors/etc have done and that isn't 'online' stuff. banning someone anti-black doesn't end racism, no. but it makes a rp safe for black members, and yeah i think that maybe making spaces safe is important. it is great that you want to hear people out as an admin and listening to how affected people feel is always the priority. but i think the point is that with things we know, like gal, etc, instead of making those already marginalized step up once more, we can just ban some people. armie hammer looks like 50 other men people can use someone else. it IS hard to find a middle ground, bc sometimes an admin just doesn't know and then there's a 5 page essay canceling them. or fcs get canceled for idk listening to someone who did something bad years ago. but i don't think a fc is just a fc is productive either. this language around people just getting 'triggered' is reductive of feelings intentional or not.

and i completely agree about making rp groups feel safe, which is what i've been saying in my own long-winded way i guess. my feelings shouldn't matter then if someone tells me they're upset by something, it's about how they feel and how i respond to it. if banning a problematic fc helps someone in the group feel comfortable, i'm all for it. at the end of the day it's just a fc so i'm not upset making that choice if it helps someone. other admins and rpers can agree or disagree and if they disagree then idk maybe i don't want to interact with them and they can do what they please in their corner of the internet that i won't be partaking with. and like you said, sometimes an admin doesn't know and i don't know a lot about every single celebrity's history because i wasn't born with a built-in radar that goes off screaming "they're a problem" when i hear a name and i'm sure that applies to everyone else. it's different when someone knows and continues doing it anyway to harm someone. i'm not sure what that middle ground looks like in practice.

[donnabroadway]

Skin folk and not kin folk

I ask my millennial, Gen X, and Gen Z brethren that as we moved up in the world, get educated, get better jobs, make more money, have more access, and are able to move our kids into wealthier neighborhoods and private schools, make sure your black kids know black people other than you and their siblings. There are too many black kids online crying about how they've been rejected by the black community because they speak well, they have money, they like rap music, they care about their grades, are light skinned, have "good hair," ethnically ambiguous features, etc. And while colorism, texturism, and classism are big problems in the black community, black people don't really have the space to reject "our own." Although mulattos, and the upper and middle class have always existed with some proximity to whiteness, the law literally stated that children took on the status of their mothers, meaning it was expected and unofficially accepted, that slave masters would be procreating with their slaves and those slaves would become slave and would be counted as black at worst, at best, mulatto and acknowledged by their white fathers and given some privileges, educational opportunities, access to land and money, a skill that will allow them to make money and become the upper and middle class or their freedom. There is a reason why many of the "firsts" were by men and women who could pass for white or Italian. The proximity to whiteness, when acknowledged, allowed them opportunities to advance but don't get it twisted, they may not be able to tell with the naked eye but once they knew, you became another, you know what. Biracials, of all mixes, didn't have the right to claim their whiteness or more than once race, and it was usually the phenotype or colored one, until the 2000 census. It wasn't until white women starting having, and raising, babies of color in the 80s and 90s that biracial people gained some sort of proximity to whiteness.

The problem is we have these phenotypically black children being raised in environments where they are often the only person of color. Not only that, they are often raised in families where they, their father, and siblings are the only people of color their mother and their family has interacted with and there is a lot of internalized racism and prejudice and when the family is called out on it, they often justify it with a whataboutism of "blacks are racist too," "look at the jokes they tell about us," "it's true, look at statistics," or "do you think they want us over there?" And this becomes a shadow belief that blacks are just as racist and unaccepting of whites, so when the child decides they want a closer connection to the black community and they enter into black spaces with their internalized racism and the black community responds by either distancing themselves, trying to educate and correct a lifetime of ignorance and self hatred, or by becoming vocal opponents of what is being said, they feel rejected and start the "biracial people don't fit in either side or they have to choose" and I am not biracial and I don't have biracial children but my interpretation of this is "Society is telling me to choose black but I want to choose white, so I will blame black people because of white supremacy."

I am a suburban Baltimore black girl. What does that mean? It means I live on tree lined streets with half million dollar homes, luxury cars, career minded people, and not a white person in sight. This means I attended schools and interacted with majority of black people and I can tell you there is plenty of diversity in thought. Being a black republican won't get you exiled nor will speaking well, liking alternative music, or being educated but being intraracist and buying into the conservative talking points will. You can't make a living by being spewing racist talking points, saying that racism from whites to blacks hasn't existed since the 60s, there are no systematic issues holding people of color back and then dog whistle us when you're inconvenienced, reminding us that you're a black woman. Like we told the Asians, Hispanics, and white women who voted to Trump, get somebody else to do it.

[decolonize-the-everything]

Something else I've been thinking about is how common it is for one group of people to speak for the rest of the group they belong to.

Specifically, about the hierarchy of oppression within different spaces and how those at the top (with the most privilege) get to decide which issues get addressed and are the most important/valid

Let's be real, whether thats the LGBT community, feminists, liberals, leftists, etc it's happening. And 9x out of 10 the people at the top suffer the least (obviously).

My point though, is how those people will look at their experiences and look at members of their community and decide that the only oppression worth addressing is the oppression that the Top group shares with everyone else. They make themselves out to be representatives and speak as if the varied levels of oppression that the other community members face are just extra problems that don't need to be addressed just because they (the Top group) don't share that oppression.

With queer people the people who decided what the focus was were cis white gays: gay marriage was the focus.

With women the people who decided what the focus was were cis white women: abortion

With liberals the people who decided what their focus was were cis white folk: voting blue no matter who

With leftists the people who decided what the focus was were cishet white men: classism

With ND people the people who decided what the focus was were cis & white: normalizing adhd-tism

You may have noticed that the Deciding Groups have some things in common.

Now let's consider: who is the least oppressed group of people on earth. Who are the most.

Now what does it say from an anti-racist, anti-white supremacy perspective that white folk across the board are speaking over and refusing to listen/address the very literal life or death struggles BIPOC face in favor of getting their entire community to focus on what impacts them the most? What does it say about white folk when they look at dying BIPOC and say to their audience "don't look at them, look at me, I'm the representative. Give me the protections"

This to say that I think white supremacy is still very much alive and well and it's done a good job of covertly getting the entire country (even the "good" guys in blue) to aid and abet the ongoing genocide and racism of BIPOC.

The inherent nature of white folk to center their own experiences within any space they occupy is white supremacy. The ability to disregard intersectionality or prioritize problems they don't face is white supremacy.

I don't think it's always done consciously or intentionally because 99% of y'all haven't deconstructed your internalized white supremacy enough to be aware of all the ways it manifests, but when you put a laser focus on the issues that matter and what matters is You before anyone else... That's white supremacy babe.

And honestly, white supremacy found a very good hiding spot within white liberal mindsets because white folks are so good at being victims and gaslighting that it becomes damn near impossible to argue that we shouldn't be talking about issues They face without sounding like you hate whatever community they belong to.

Like isn't it so interesting that when trying to challenge those priorities you get called a Republican, dummy, cunt, bigot, fascist who doesn't want the next step of "progress"? How "we can worry about that later right now we should be fighting against (the only oppression they face as a white person)." And "We all face this why shouldn't it be a priority?! Life would improve for all of us! Be rational."

its all just the woke-remix to silence BIPOC.

[writingwithcolor]

Algonquin Protagonist, Half-Algonquin Villain: Problems?

Anonymous asked:

i’m an Algonquin author writing a story about an Algonquin transgirl, Ivy, who’s trying to rediscover her heritage. a big conflict in this story is her “friend”, proserpine, a half-Algonquin half-white who doesn’t give a shit about her own heritage and thinks Ivy shouldn’t either. she’s constantly dragging Ivy out to parties, wheedling her into going to study groups, calling her after school to talk, and generally getting in the way of Ivy’s research. but I worry that having a half-Algonquin villain might be problematic. i’m considering three options to negate this: give proserpine some white friends egging her on to get in Ivy’s way, make her less Algonquin (a quarter or less instead of white), or have her white father putting pressure on her to get in Ivy’s way, and in the end have her see what a scumbag he is and denounce him.

I’d say your solutions are doable, but a bit incomplete. There’s a lot of pitfalls here I want you to be aware of, as someone reconnecting and mixed with white.

The Importance of Positive Side Characters

Right now, you’re stuck on two Indigenous characters and only negative-influence side characters, all friends or family of Proserpine. All of the problems are caused by white characters to try very hard to show that this anti-Native racism is a white problem.

What you haven’t done is explore the possibility of having positive side characters, such as:

Connected Indigenous people of various percentages who offer a safe friendship space so Ivy isn’t alone

Other reconnecting people (both mixed with white and not) who invite her to reconnection activities so Ivy can tell Proserpine “sorry, I’m busy”

Elders who help her along and encourage her to follow her own path

White friends of Ivy’s who are supportive and condemn Proserpine

These positive side characters would help flesh out the story and richen the conflict; primarily, they would force Ivy to make a choice between new friends who support her, and old friends who don’t. They would also force Proserpine to wonder if it’s really worth being unsupportive if she’s at a genuine risk of losing a friend of hers.

Percentage of White Mix Does Not A Villain Make

I really, really do not like the implication that the “closer” to white you are, the more toxic you are to other reconnecting people. I am 1/8th Mohawk/Mi’kmaq, and my mom is ¼. My mom is the one who “reconnects” via the new age section at the bookstore, literally never checks if a thing is white-authored, and has no land stewardship initiatives. I’m the one who digs into ethnographies, looks for environmental conservation initiatives, and looks for ancestral crafts and has all the language books.

This is one of the reasons I suggested supportive white friends of Ivy’s and supportive mixed-reconnecting friends. While white people make really easy villains in these sorts of situations, your story and proposed solutions create some really toxic blood quotient implications that make it only full-blood people are good, supportive characters.

By relying on “% white” as the shorthand for “villain” in this specific situation, you end up throwing all white-mixed reconnecting Natives under the bus. Are we often villains? Yes. Proximity to whiteness produces a lot of anti-Blackness, a lot of internalized white supremacy, etc.

But this is not universally true, and I really don’t want a story about reconnection to have that sort of message. If you’re trying to position this as a story about the importance of reconnection, then you’re going to need to toss the BQ ideas out to not accidentally hit someone right where it hurts.

Balancing White Privilege with Reconnection

And now for the flipside of it: You aren’t wrong for wanting to position white people as the aggressors and as the causes of a lot of strife. I’m just fine with Proserpine being 1/2 or 1/4 and being a toxic force; I just want it balanced out with other people of the same percentage being positive forces.

It is very true that white Natives can be very toxic people, but this is regardless of their reconnection status. If you want to flesh out the negative side characters, then by all means toss in one or more white Natives (status or reconnecting) who are also antagonistic forces, but try to mix up where they fall on the reconnecting spectrum so that you don’t reinforce BQ ideas that mixed = lesser.

I think the thing you need to keep in mind is: white supremacy is the problem, not necessarily white/mixed people. Natives can be status, dark skinned, and be very, very white supremacist. Natives can be completely disconnected from culture and should qualify for status but could have removed themselves from the registry because of white supremacy.

It is not as simple as mixed with white = automatic villain. Having that logic is a disservice to all mixed people.

Tragedy of Disconnect with Proserpine

I feel like you’re starting to dig into Proserpine being a tragic figure with your solutions. I’d say the strongest one is the father being part of why she is so flippant about her culture; as someone with a white dad who wasn’t all that into anything Native, it’s accurate to my experience and would show how assimilatory a lot of spouses to Indigenous people are. 

The thing is, this option also raises the issue for why the mother married him, but generational trauma and internalized white supremacy is a thing. See: my mom. 

With how long residential schools have gone on, even if this story was set in modern day Proserpine’s mother could have been a student at them herself, been part of an assimilatory adoption effort, or any other such tragedy.

I’d really like to see that tragedy explored, just a little. This would also help mitigate Proserpine’s villainy and turn her more into a sympathetic figure, because Native people in particular would see that forced disconnect and know it’s generational trauma that she’s continuing to act out. It would make it a very nice ending for her to go against white society and reclaim herself, and so long as the nuance of her family life was woven in, she wouldn’t be too much of a villain.

Hope this helps.

~ Mod Lesya

[pumpkinpaix]

It was only when starting MDZS that I came across the terms “seme” and “uke.” To me these categories seemed too rigid and simplistic compared to actual gay dynamics I have observed. I wanted to ask whether such categorisation is truly reflected in the way gay Chinese people behave or is it just a stereotype?

okay so -- there’s a lot to unpack here. I’ve been sitting on this ask for months at this point but let’s give it a shot. to forewarn you, I found this ask really upsetting for a number of reasons, and I am. really kind of at the end of my patience with this fandom, so this is going to be harsh. please bear with me if you are in a space to do so.

so. seme and uke are japanese terms that come with their own genre conventions and such, even though they roughly mean top and bottom. you can read a little bit about it here under the “seme and uke” section on the yaoi wikipedia page.

the equivalent chinese terms are 攻 (gong1) and 受 (shou4). you might notice that the hanzi/kanji used are the same as seme and uke because i’m fairly sure the chinese terms were derived from the japanese ones. there’s a lot of cultural crossover in ACGN (anime, comics, games, novels) fandoms.

the use of seme/uke vs gong/shou does matter when it comes to anglophone spaces. because one of the facets of anti-asian racism in anglophone spaces is the way that people treat all (east) asians as interchangeable, the choice of which language to use for which media is important, even if the terms are linguistically equivalent.

it's a small thing, but even just saying gong/shou instead of seme/uke in this ask would have softened the blow a little. all of this information is easily obtained with a quick google search of "seme and uke" and "chinese version of seme and uke" and a little bit of analytical thinking. before you ask a random stranger on the internet to dispense cultural information, please do the minimum of research on your own.

with regards to the actual question:

I know this ask is old so maybe a lot has changed for you anon, but regarding this ask specifically, I’m going to ask you to think very hard about what you’re asking, who you're asking, and why you're asking it next time. for a start, I am not a gay chinese man. i have been very clear that I am abc, and i live and grew up in the states. That's not equivalent to "a chinese person who happens to be fluent in english". we are very culturally distinct, and there is absolutely no way that my background gives me any inherently privileged insight into the lives and culture of gay chinese men in china. why are you asking me to speak for them? why are you asking me to tell you about them? gay chinese men behave like individual humans. i am not your convenient tour guide into all things chinese just because I speak english. moreover, please remember that your experience, like mine, is limited. whatever observed "actual gay dynamics" you're talking about are a product of your specific position, location, age, culture etc. and it would be absurd to extrapolate your observations to generalize how all gay people interact with one another even in your specific culture.

I will be very honest: the tone of this ask evokes purity wank bait because of the wider context of the question. there has been a Lot of discourse surrounding the “roles” in danmei in anglophone fandom that essentially boils down to fujoshi discourse redux, which often has a lot of racist underpinnings and comes from an extremely white, western, misogynist, and identity politics-heavy perspective. i put links and such about fujoshi discourse in this ask if you aren't familiar, but I want you to understand that, regardless of your intent, my initial impression of this question (because of the context of these discussions) was uncomfortably close to "I'm better than those oppressive, uneducated straight chinese women who unrealistically fetishize gay men, right?" I am choosing to believe that this wasn't what you meant, but. to draw an analogy: would you ask me this question about twinks and bears in US gay culture? would you ask me if those labels/roles/categories were representative of the way US gay men behaved? what about top/bottom? if not, then why are you asking me about chinese gay men as if they're a different species?

if you can understand that top/bottom or bear/twink are not representative categorizations (though there are, of course, people who happily fall into them, self-identify as them, label themselves as such etc), why are you holding gong/shou to a higher standard?

I get that we're all in different places re: our cultural knowledge, but just. look, if you're coming to me with a question like this, the least you could do me is the courtesy of ten minutes of googling before you hit me with a racist microaggression right out the gate on a sensitive topic. As I said, I don't think you meant harm, but please try to be more aware in the future, okay?

(please do not dogpile anon in the notes, it's not constructive, thanks)

if you are curious about the lives of queer folk in china, there is plenty of interesting information out there in english as well. here's an article to get you started.

[skaldish]

...I didn’t want to be the one to start this because, as a white person, I’m not qualified to speak on this topic. But I’ve yet to see any serious, ongoing discussions about racism in pagan and witch communities. That can’t slide.

Pagans and witches are not exempt from returning sovereignty to Black, Indigenous, and Witches/Pagans of Color in our communities. It’s time to act and make these changes in our spaces.

Allyship is an ongoing practice that doesn’t end, and this list of “do’s” and “don’t’s” is only meant to get you started. I’m sure this list is far from complete, so if you’re BIPOC and want me to add anything, I’ll gladly do so. Readers, please check back on the OP periodically for these contributions.

Please read all the way through before reblogging.

Things you can do:

Afford BIPOC communal and cultural influence in ALL pagan/witchy spaces, be they Wiccan, Heathen, Hellenic, etc. Paganism and witchcraft are global and intersectional. BIPOC influence in paganism and witchcraft does not begin and end with BIPOC-specific magic and practices.

Confront your internalized racism. I promise you have it, and ignoring it won’t solve it. Having internalized racism doesn’t make you a bad person, but it DOES mean you’re responsible for working on it. Begin by examining any racist tendencies you may have. Sit with it and educate yourself on what you can do to move past it.

Buy direct from BIPOC! Support BIPOC-created art and spiritual shops! If you can't support financially, use your social media platforms to boost shop links and other BIPOC-created content. Buying from BIPOC also allows for cultural appreciation rather than appropriation.

Use your privilege as a white person to uplift the voices of BIPOC in witch and pagan communities. This looks like giving platform to their thoughts and feelings without trying to co-opt their message for yourself. Find blog posts written by BIPOC that talk about racism or appropriation in our spaces and give them platform.

Recognize helpful allyship vs. performative allyship. Saying you hate racism or that the gods hate racism is a nice sentiment, but unfortunately it doesn't actually do anything to solve racism. Make sure you back it up with allyship that actively helps BIPOC in our communities!

Read the following: Closed cultures are cultures that have experienced (or are currently experiencing) aggressive colonization and have decided to close off their cultures to their colonizers. In this case of Black Cultures, Indigenous Cultures, and Cultures of Color, their colonizers are white people. White people have only ever been colonized by other white people so white people can’t close their cultures to BIPOC. There. Now you know how that works.

Some Don’t’s:

Don't appropriate. Seriously. This is baseline at this point. We all start at a place of ignorance, but it’s our job as white witches and pagans to learn what’s appropriation and what isn’t. This includes adapting your practice if you discover you’re appropriating. If you know you appropriate and defend it, you admit your magic only works because it’s stolen. Do you think this truly serves you or anyone else?

Don't compare the subjugation of BIPOC to the burning of witches or being part of a religious minority. No matter your intention is with this, it won’t come off as commiseration or showing sympathy. Racism is a systemic form of oppression that can't be compared to any other kind of prejudice. Understand that you can’t understand.

Avoid being a “white savior.” Tackling racism isn’t supposed to feel comfortable, rewarding, or heroic for a white person. It should actually feel like shadow-work. Likewise, don’t expect acclaim or reward for proper allyship.

Don't work with spirits, deities, or concepts from closed cultures unless it’s permitted by that culture, and only within the context permitted. If you think a spirit from a closed culture is trying to interact with you, seek out a community-recognized spiritual leader from that spirit’s culture to talk to about it.

Don’t say “politics should stay out of spiritual spaces” when it comes to human rights issues. There’s many problems with this: First, Human rights issues and politics are very different. Second, if you want to have a truly inclusive environment, that environment needs to be intersectional. This means allowing other identities to overlap into paganism and witchcraft, including their issues. Regardless of your intention, it’s oppressive to deny room for those issues for the sake of “love and light.” Your “love and light” is not about healing, then, but about maintaining the status-quo.

Remember, true justice isn’t something that happens after a wrong. It’s something that prevents that wrong from ever happening. If we want justice in our pagan and witchcraft communities, we need to do the right work to achieve it.