#it looks cooler this way anyways (<-trying to convince myself)

[bloodysparklez]

can you keep a secret?

[icyfox17]

The demons got to me... Anyways here's the first snipp of a 911 x Psych crossover lmfao

"A psychic detective?" Eddie's unconvinced voice rings out in the station's kitchen. "Yeah!" Buck replies, chipper as ever as he puts together a PBJ sandwich. "The amount of cases he's solved is crazy. And—! He even uncovered a dinosaur skeleton. I've been meaning to drive to Santa Barbara to see it. Maybe I'll take Christopher—” "A psychic detective," Eddie repeats, having barely processed anything else Buck had said. He chuckles. “You can't—you can't seriously think this is real.” “Eddie, he's been working with the SBPD for years. Don't you think if he was a fake they would've found out by now?” Buck asks, and his voice sounds so genuine Eddie kind of wants to cry. “Buck. Buck. Magic isn't real. There is no way that he's actually psychic. It's a publicity stunt! Makes the SBPD stand out or something.” “Just you wait and see Eds. Once you meet him, you'll have to believe it.” Buck says, pointing at Eddie with the most obnoxious grin on his face. Eddie can't help but feel fond at the sight of it. Sure Buck’s an idiot, but at least he's a cute one. Eddie gives up on having this argument with him. No matter what Buck says, he won't be convinced. They couldn't convince him with the jinxes (although some small part of him is still slightly freaked out about that) and they won't convince him with this psychic detective, not even if he's the most sophisticated all-knowing person ever. ~*~ “Gus, how many burritos do you think I can fit in my mouth? My money's on six, but maybe if I shove them in horizontally…” He reaches over to grab the cooler from beside Gus in the back seat, but Jules slaps his hand away. “Shawn, seriously? Those burritos are for everyone.” Shawn huffs, crossing his arms with a pout. “Yeah well, we've been in this car for hours, and I'm starving to death.” “It's been an hour Shawn,” Gus’ voice pops up from the backseat and Shawn shoots him a betrayed look. “Whose side are you on?!” Gus tilts his head. “The side that makes sure that I still have some burritos for myself.” He then opens up the same cooler that Shawn was just trying to reach into, and pulls out a perfectly tinfoil wrapped burrito that he delicately peels away. His eyes are alight with glee as he unhinges his jaw and prepares to take the biggest bite known to man, when Shawn twists around in his seat and grips Gus’ arm, pulling it and the burrito away from his mouth. “That burrito is mine sucker!” Shawn calls out, trying to take the burrito for himself. “Oh no you don't, Shawn!!” The two of them struggle back and forth, causing the car to shake slightly, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that Gus is a backstabber and Shawn needs his burrito! “Guys!” Jules’ voice calls out sharp, and the two of them freeze—Gus’ left hand smushed into Shawn's face, and Shawn’s free hand gripping Gus’ throat in a chokehold, their other hands wrapped tightly around the burrito in a tug of war. She outstretches her right hand, keeping her left hand on the wheel, and makes a grabbing motion. The two of them dejectedly give the burrito into her palm and she huffs, smiling. “Thank you. We have one more hour to go. You can both eat one burrito, okay? The rest are for when we get there.” She then takes a satisfied chomp of the burrito in her hand.

[hannahssimblr]

July seeps into August in a yellow haze. The heat has stupefied the village, slowing all movement, the tourists wading through the humid streets with ice creams melting down their hands, the only kind of food it feels acceptable to eat. It hasn’t rained in weeks, since that first storm of summer, and the landscape struggles. The grass in the local pitch has shrivelled, and the earth has become a powdery dust that fills the air every time our football skims it. It keeps sticking to the sun cream on our skin. Every evening I need to wash an extraordinary amount of grit, dirt and sand out of strange places, like the creases in my elbows, and the webbing between my fingers and toes.

I launch the ball down the pitch to where Jen is bouncing foot to foot near the goalpost, and wander towards the sideline to mop sweat from my brow with the t-shirt I stripped off an hour ago. 

“You want water?” Claire O’Gorman holds her pink metal bottle to me. It jangles with the fluffy charms and beads clipped to it. I shake my head. Jen saw her kissing Shane last night at the front door before she left, so at least twenty percent of the backwash already in that water is bound to be his. I don’t tell her this, because if she doesn’t know what backwash is, I’ll have to go through the whole rigamarole of explaining it, and inevitably end up looking stupid, so I just shake my head.

“You’re running like mad out there,” she comments. “I don’t know how you’ve the strength in this weather.”

“You just endure it, I guess.”

“Hm, I couldn’t. I’m like a princess. I just really don’t like sweating and getting all out of breath. Evie is like you, though,” she adds.

I’m careful to arrange my features into a neutral expression. Claire has been hanging around with us every day for the last week, for reasons that nobody has explained to me, not that I have asked, but when I chat with her, I make sure that I never, ever bring up Evie. Teenage girls are detectives. They pick up on the tiniest facial expressions or shift in tone and use it against you.

I’ve been bamboozled before, and the last thing I need is for Claire to go home to Evie in the evenings and tell her, God forbid, that I asked a question about her. The multitudes of ways they could read into my body language makes me feel queasy. 

“Right,” I say in a bored voice, and scratch my armpit. 

“She’s always like, go go go! All the time, you know? Like playing tennis one minute, swimming the next, going on a mad run the next it’s like,” she rolls her eyes for emphasis, “take a break, girl, please, you know?”

“Mm.”

“I’ve been trying my best to convince her to come to that festival too, just to get away from the routine, but I can’t get her to give me any sort of answer about it.”

I frown. “Did you invite her to the festival?”

“Oh, was I not meant to? I kind of thought it’d be fun if she came, you know, so it’s not just me.”

“I didn’t know you were coming either.”

Her face drains. “Oh, well, Shane asked me, and I-”

“No, no, you can. Oh my God, obviously, I didn’t mean-”

“Right! Okay, of course, but like, I don’t want to impose on-”

“Just I didn’t know Evie might come, that’s all.”

“Well, yeah, I thought it’d be nice for me to have a close friend with me, but if you don’t want her to... like, she might not be able to anyway, so.”

“I don’t not want her to come.” God, why does this feel like a conversation two thirteen-year-olds would have? I swear I haven’t felt this juvenile in years, and I cringe, as though some other version of myself, the cooler Jude, is watching me engage in this conversation and groaning into his hands. Sometimes, these days, I feel like the cooler Jude is slipping through my fingers like handfuls of sand.

“She’s actually really nice,” Claire says with an edge of defensiveness. “I know she’s a bit quiet. I thought that when I met her first too, she was kind of known as the weird girl at school, but when you get to know her, she’s a really sweet person.”

“I know,” I say, my face burning. “I mean... she seems nice. I didn’t mean to imply that she isn’t. Please don’t tell her I think she’s quiet, or weird, or that I don’t want her at the festival or anything like that.”

“No, of course.”

“Because I do… like... think she’s nice, and it’d be okay if she came with us. I would even want her to, actually.” Shut up. God, please, shut the fuck up, you dickhead. 

Claire smiles and nods. 

“But don’t tell her I specifically want her to either, just… Don’t tell her anything.” Oh, line me up against a wall and shoot me, execution style. 

“I won’t.”

I bet she will. And I bet she'll tell her about about the smell of desperation off me, too.

“Turner!” Shane bellows. “What are you at? Your team mates are flailing over here.”

“Right, bye,” I tell Claire, and turn around quickly, unable to bear the embarrassment for another second. 

“Bye!”

As I walk back onto the pitch, I screw my eyes shut and thump my fist against my forehead. 

I’m toast. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[nebelihood]

Hey Arnold Study ENTRY01 "Arnold visits Arni"

GUuYS- As you may know I recently got re-obessed with Hey Arnold for a brief amount of time very recently. (Sadly I had to kill that obsession because of school and Looney tunes comic- but no worries, I'll try to come back as soon as the comic is finished jahsj qwq)

BUT I GOT LIKE REALLY OBSESSED LIKE SUPER- YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY HEY ARNOLD SCREENSHOTS I HAVE NOW- I HAVE A WORD DOCUMENTING EVERYTHING FROM ALMOST EVERY EPISODE (Except the ones from last seasons cause I was honestly tired of writting while eating and pausing and not being able to watch comfortably Hey Arnold-)

Dated 06/06/2023

Side note 01: I don't mean sl*ty in a demeaning way, I was trying to explain things to myself and let them clear to me x'0

Side note 02: This episode happens previously to "Married" episode.

Obviously the most interesting part of the episode was how Arnold switched Helga's personality to someone he actually developed feelings for and it wasn't too far away from Helga's real character like her poetry, her schemes to get closer to the guy she liked and general appearance. What's also interesting to note is how they changed the other characters, they basically switched their personalities between two characters, ex: Making phoebe dummer and Stinky smarter. Gerald more exaggerated and Sid cooler. Rhonda carless and Harold all about looks.

But when they switched Lila and Helga, Lulu came out more "sluty" and flirty. Traits that have nothing to do with Helga. And Hilda came out as inteligent and sweeter, which could be characteristics that could apply to Lila- only without her iconic "Ever so much" and exaggerated kindness. Those characters didn't seem to switch personalities. Maybe show unconscious beliefs of them?

It's a awesome episode to think about since it's all Arnold's dream so reflecting on the way he portrayed "helga" he must have some sort of idea of her, that she's nice deep down. Like he has confirmed he doesn't think Helga is mean for the sake for being mean in the Helga vs Patty episode. Like he has seen Helga act nice in the Rhonda costume party when she pretended to be Lila, like when he took care of her when she got amnesia and seemed too innocent, like when he convinced her to wash dishes and do the right thing. He must by this point, be almost sure there's a good nature underneath her despite how much she fights it.

About Lila... When they first started going out she was quite flirty. And she was also quite flirty when she went out with Arni, so maybe he perceives her attentions to certain degree a little sl+ty out of jealousy? idk just a thought.

Besides Lulu keeps Lila's way of communication "all so much about" "I'm all to certain that-"And the dream kept Arnold and Helga's tradition for crashing againts eachother. Making them essentially themselves and not them with switched personalities.

I think it's also interesting to see how Arnold also instantly fell in love"" when he saw Hilda. The first thing he asked was "Do I know you?" as to say she reminds him of someone he has seen cause he thinks he already knows her. The only possible answer is Helga.

IT's also interesting to see how Arnold bumped exactly with her as soon as she finished telling the moon if she would ever meet her one and true love.

I love Arnold's little shy hands hiding behind him, listening to her happily,,,

Arnold has witnessed to certain degree Helga reciting poetry like when Arni visited last time, so it's not crazy he made that connection to Hilda admitting she was reciting poetry.

"YEAhhhh"

ANYWAY in review, despite if he knows if Helga is a good person or not which at this point I'm sure he has a gut feeling, he must find her attractive rigth of the bait or at least feel attraction. Like when he complimented her the first time he saw her on "Helga on the couch" episode and because he doesn't even "know her" and he can't help to seem all goofy.

Note he also included Helga's "love sighs" on the dream, so maybe he has heard them before??

"I've never met anyone like you Hilda, and I really like you a lot"

He confessed to Hilda and Hilda confessed she liked Arni- This episode could be taken in two perspectives, one is that It's just like when Arni visited but this time is Arnold is Arni; so even if Arnold seems perfectly normal on this episode, he may have been a weirdo to everyone in town except to Lulu like it happened with Arni and Lila. This could be it but for wouldn't be completely accurate, Hilda would have had already been obsessed with Arni or idk maybe not. It could also be Arnold confessing to Lila and Lila saying she likes Arni, except for the whole intro to the situation reviewed on one ep. It's interesting he confessed to Hilda on his dream tho

(I didn't even understand myself what I meant but I'm gonna add that it could be Arnold falling in and out of love with Lila? And meaning he could fall in love with Helga if she showed her true nature? OR saying he already sort of likes her? Or likes what he thinkg he knows SHE IS??? LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M DOING THIS- I KNOW THEY ARE GONNA END UP TOGETHER I JUST WANT TO KNOW HE LIKED HER A LITTLE BACK TOO BACK THEN AND IT WASN'T THE RESULT OF HELGA SAVING HIS PARENTS AAAAA-)

Everyone chased Arnold except Hilda on Arnold's dream

Why was Arnold so happy that Helga was really Helga? If she was so nice in his dream (And so mean irl)? Was is because he really likes her as her is; or cause she doesn't like Arni like on his dream? LIKE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I MEAN I'M HAPPY HE'S HAPPY TO SEE THE REAL HELGA BUT DOES THAT MEAN HE LIKES HER MEAN OR WHAT I'M CONFUSED

Why was Arnold so happy to find out Lila only liked him? Cause she wasn't the "sl+ty" Lulu who did like him? MAybe he was just happy he wasn't on his nightmare anymore, still Hilda was no nightmare except till the end where she rejected him,,,, I love how he only adressed them like wth- the rest of your friends were the ones chasing you to your death and you don't wanna doble check that???

end

(HAHAHAJAHSJAHA)

[loserlvrss]

꒰ 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐀 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 ꒱ 김정수

summary : pool day with your boyfriend and his band

genre : fluff, jungsu x afab!reader, comedy, drabble, oneshot tws : language, skinship, kiss author notes : sigh it was pouring rain when i was writing this — anyways, happy new years 𓆤 word count : 1.2k

the sun was sweltering, the heat actually getting to your head and making it feel fuzzy. you felt an incredible amount of relaxation, that bordered laziness, as the harsh rays warmed your skin. you could hear the distant splashing of water against the familiar voices of your friends; jooyeon making a fuss because jiseok had just splashed him so hard that his nose was now stinging.

your boyfriend had dragged you out of your air-conditioned apartment a couple of hours ago, seconds after he had accepted the offer to go swimming over text… for the both of you.

you knew the heatwave was bad, but after not going outside for what seemed like days — saved for the couple of times to water your balcony plants, which you ended up taking in anyways — you thought you could melt into a puddle right on the chair where you reclined. plus, you've applied so much sunscreen you were convinced your blood was being diluted with it; drank so much water your 73% was closer to 90%. however, you knew it was bad when you would just sweat it all out, skin damp like you've already taken a dip into the pool with them.

you had adamantly pleaded for him to cancel on them, to stay and finish money heist with you (for the nth time). you didn't want to risk sun-sickness for either you or him, who you kept reminding to drink more and more water — though sometimes he was so caught up in playing around that he didn't even interpret what you were saying — so you mothered them all, telling them to take hydration breaks as a fun group activity.

“y/n! come in.” the youngest, jooyeon, had shouted in between taking sips from a water bottle.

your boyfriend beckoned you over with full-support from his friends, “c’mon! it’s cooler in the water.”

“jungsu… you know i don’t really like the water.”

and he nodded because he knew that, almost like he knew pretty-much everything about you — you wouldn’t be surprised if he knew the way your bones were shaped at this point.

“junhan! act cute, you know she can’t resist you.” jiseok yelled, surprising the guitarist so much so that he choked slightly, “please!”

gunil laughed, sitting at the edge of the pool and watching the chaos of the younger boys trying to get junhan to make you play with them.

eventually, junhan put his fingers to the back of his head, creating cute ears. he put on a smile that instantly made you mirror it, “please?”

you sighed, a smile breaking across your boyfriends face as he knew you’d been won over. “used your secret weapon already? know i won’t fall for it twice, boys.”

before you had a chance to get from the chair, jooyeon was running over, cheers erupting from the group. with the help of seungmin and jiseok, the three had gotten you up and were now pushing you toward the edge of the pool.

you fought back, to no avail, eventually faced with the crystal clear liquid that you’d sooner than later become accustomed to.

“jungsu, throw her in!”

“what?” you all but shrieked, “no, no, no, no! please don’t do that — what if i couldn’t swim? you’d let me drown?”

“in a four foot pool?” gunil asked, “you’re short but not that short.”

jungsu had begun to fling your limbs over his shoulder, you shooting the oldest a disappointed look, “that’s rich coming from you!” you replied, though he just laughed at your compromised situation, “what are you, 4’11?”

“5 foot actually!” he stuck his tongue out at you, and you scoffed, now fully on your boyfriend's shoulder without realization.

“w-wait, jungsu put me down.” you laughed nervously, the gravity hitting you at once, “i can jump in by myself, no need to get handsy.”

at this point, the four youngest were chanting ‘toss her in’ repeatedly, swinging their arms above their heads like you were being sacrificed to poseidon. you giggled because as all this was happening, you still found them incredibly cute, and as much as you didn’t really like the water, you knew anything would be fun with the six of them involved.

before you were met with the cool water, you pointed to jooyeon, mouthing ‘you’re next’ threateningly. however, he just jumped in after you resurfaced, beginning to playfully splash you, to which you returned more than gratefully; after all, this was his idea.

jiseok had joined his team, seungmin and junhan yours as jungsu pressured the oldest to join you six. he eventually gave in, joining your team while your boyfriend chose the opposite. you gasped offendedly, hand to your chest watching him swim to face you.

“top ten anime betrayals.” you joked, sending a light wave at him, “you get to sleep on the couch.”

“in the doghouse,” gunil laughed, “that’s crazy.”

you turned to him, “you need to stop watching love island — no one says doghouse.” his eyes narrowed, “w-what? i’m just letting you know, unless you’re a early-thirties british woman, doghouse is crazy.”

“okay!” jooyeon yelled, “no team kills!”

“and he needs to stop playing so many video games — he’s not even that good.”

“i heard that!”

you replied quickly with a series of hearts, and then motioned for him to continue. he explained the rules of the game — messily might you add — causing you to give your boyfriend a look of confusion that he mirrored. however, you just imagined that it was going to be fun nonetheless, even if you were the first person out by jooyeon's standards, whatever those were.

you protested that it was just a practice round, but he pretended he couldn't hear you, childishly singing over your voice.

"you're just scared i'd actually beat you, huh?"

you went to the edge of the pool, pushing yourself out and into a seated position, legs dangling in the water. you watched the boys play-splash, and even though you had a front row seat, you still couldn't understand what the rules were; you just prayed if a second round was played, he'd re-explain for your sake.

after another minute of the game and screams were erupting, catching your attention to the man who would be joining you on the sidelines. jungsu protested (just like you had) to no avail, gunil and seungmin pushing — with no assistance from the water — over in your direction. he looked annoyed, jokingly of course, as he joined you with crossed arms.

"wow, if i didn't know any better, i'd say we've been set up. is this how they get the guy and girl to start dating? real original."

your boyfriend stood in front of your legs, an eyebrow cocked with amusement. "baby, we're already dating."

you faked a shocked expression, "and you didn't think to tell me that?"

"shut up!" he replied, playfully swatting your knees, "you know there's no one else i'd rather be with."

"i don't know, ice spice is kinda hot."

both his hands now rested on your thighs comfortingly as he directed all his attention to you — and despite the chaos behind him, all you could see was him.

"you ruined the moment, y/n."

"what!" you exclaimed, lacing his fingers with yours, "you know i'm only joking — she is hot — but i love you."

he jumped up, lips hitting yours momentarily; you could barely even call it a kiss, but nonetheless it made your cheeks tint a light shade of pink you'd just blame on the sun.

"i love you more."

you faked disgust, dropping his hands back to your legs and moving them to his cheeks. "cringe." you stated before pressing a proper kiss to his awaiting lips.

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[dysco-lymonade]

Clexa #7

7. Visiting them at their place of work.

It’s like you’re in my head, Anon. I’m thinking of posting on this AU as a series of snippets to ease myself back into the game.

Lexa tugs her jacket tighter around her shoulders as she faces the cool midnight breeze of downtown polis. She has two blocks to figure out what she’s going to talk to Clarke about tonight. She can only small talk about the weather so many times before the blonde thinks she’s got as much depth as a puddle.

Lexa had just barely managed to get her latest assignment submitted before the 11:59pm cut-off time, and her one and only motivation was seeing the corner store clerk on her way home.

She picks up her pace as she sees the neon store sign up ahead. The mantra of ‘don’t fuck this up, be cool, be brave, be suave,’ running through her mind on a loop. She pushes her way through the door, ready to plaster on her most casual grin as she makes eye contact with the cashier, only to falter in her steps.

Instead of seeing Clarke, she holds the gaze of a floppy-haired frat boy, who looks all-too-pleased to see her walking through the door.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Lextra Woods.”

“Bite me, Collins.”

“God, I would love to.” He retorts with a smarmy grin.

Lexa rolls her eyes and moves on to the drink coolers. Of course, Finn fucking Collins works here too. Finn fucking Collins, the bane of her existence. Beta Fish Chi fucking- whatever frat president Finn fucking Collins. The boy had been making her life an absolute living hell for the better part of the semester. Every time she would cozy up in her favorite corner of the student library to work on her assignments, in would walk (read: stampede) Finn fucking Collins and his gaggle of pledges. Lexa wasn’t even convinced he was part of an actual fraternity, but rather, just trying to have every guy at Polis U begging to be his friend.

She scoffs as she yanks a bottle of water from the cooler.

“Rough night?” She hears from behind her, ready to turn on a dime and give Finn fucking Collins what for.

Only she turns around and is met with the cool blue gaze of none other than Clarke Griffin. She damn near drops the water bottle.

“Oh- uh, yeah. You could say that.” She mentally slams her head into the glass door of the drink cooler. “Better now, though!” She pulls what she hopes is a charming smile onto her face. In reality, Lexa is pretty sure she looks like a serial killer.

“So… Lextra, huh? Interesting name.” Clarke flirts, actually goddamn flirts, with that mouthwatering bite of her bottom lip.

“Lexa… actually. Collins is total tool. Thinks everyone deserves a nickname.”

“Don’t I know it; he won’t stop calling me ‘Princess’ and I want to vomit every time he says it.” Clarke rolls her eyes and moves towards a rack of potato chip bags to presumably reorganize them.

“How utterly condescending of him.” Lexa picks at the label of the water bottle for a moment, contemplating asking, but eventually goes for it. “I really haven’t given you my name after all this time?”

Clarke shakes her head in the negative. “Nope.” She pops the ‘p’, of course she does. “I’ve been fiddling with a few possibilities. Heather seemed too uptight, Brittany too lackluster, I knew it had to be something more unique.” She winks. Actually goddamn winks, and Lexa damn near passes out.

“I would say thank you, but I didn’t pick my name.” Way to be suave, Woods, get it together. “I’m glad I ran into you, actually.” There she is. “I wanted to ask you something. I haven’t seen you on campus, but I’m assuming since we seem to be the same age, that you must go to Polis U. Otherwise why would you work so close?” Stop rambling, get to the point! “Anyway. There’s this fundraiser. It’s more of a bar-crawl, honestly, but it’s to support my program. You buy a wrist band, and the proceeds go to the Law department… I know, bar-hopping for the law… kind of silly…” GET TO THE POINT “Anyway, I wanted to see if you might want to come along with me?”

By the time Lexa is finished rambling, Clarke’s eyebrows have pretty much reached her hairline. But the soft smile on her face, and subtle tilt of her head give Lexa pause. Maybe she didn’t totally fuck this up.

“I did go to Polis.” Oh, did she graduate already? “But I had to take a leave of absence.” Interesting… “And I can’t actually go with you.” Clarke bites her lip, but not in a flirty way. Lexa tilts her head, clearing asking the blonde to continue. “Look, Lexa…” Oh god, this isn’t good. Abort. ABORT. “No, no! It’s not you.” Oh god, I’m going to hurl. “Fuck. That sounds terrible but it’s NOT! Listen, come here for a minute?” Clarke starts making her way toward the back room of the store.

“Clarke, it’s fine. Seriously, you don’t have to expl-“

Before Lexa can finish, Clarke has yanked the right leg of her jeans up to expose her ankle.

Her ankle, currently sporting a thick black band with what appears to be a large battery pack attached to it.

“Uh, Clarke I’m not sure I understand.”

“I’m on house arrest. Well, house and work arrest, I guess.”

Lexa blinks once, not fully grasping the situation.

“I got into some trouble, nothing serious. I didn’t hurt anyone or anything. I just. I can’t go anywhere other than my house or work… for now. I have an appeal hearing in a few weeks.”

“Oh my god. I thought you were just feeding me a line.” Lexa chuckles and leans against the wall. “So, I’m crushing on a criminal? That’s what you’re telling me?”

Clarke looks up at her with a devilish smile. “Crushing?”

Oh fuck.

Lexa takes pause. The cats out of the bag. Just go with it Woods.

“Well yeah, hasn’t it been obvious?”

“You mean, like how you’ve never given me your name, or any type of way to contact you?” She lifts an eyebrow in question and Lexa basically falls to her knees.

Lexa takes a moment to scratch the back of her neck, in what she hopes is a cool demeanor. “I wasn’t sure you were interested. You flirt a lot with, you know, everyone.” She shrugs her shoulders and scuffs the toe of her shoe on the floor, breaking eye contact.

“Tips.” Clarke says simply. “They only pay me minimum wage here, you know, being a hardened criminal and all. I gotta pay the bills somehow.” She chuckles and suddenly Lexa feels the other girl’s hand on her bicep. “Lex,” Lexa would normally scowl at the nickname, but it sounds so sweet coming from the blonde’s raspy voice that she’s decidedly changed her outlook on nicknames. She meets Clarke’s eyes and sees sincerity. “I really would love to go out for a drink with you some time. Maybe just give me a few weeks? Or more, depending on the outcome of my hearing? And in the meantime, can I have your number?”

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for throwing my creator’s other invention off a cliff and trying to beat him and his friends up all the time?

So I know that everyone’s going to immediately jump on me saying “You were both built by the same guy that makes you BROTHERS” but no absolutely not he’s NOT my brother I would never view him as that ever and I’m going to explain exactly why

My (12 M, physically 20) creator’s other invention “Zach” (70 M, physically 20) was built about 68 years before me when our inventor “Jonah” was in his thirties. Our inventor viewed Zach as his son and raised him like one, supposedly “loving him” and all that garbage.

When he was about 90, he supposedly “died” and erased all of Zach’s memories blah blah blah who cares

The point is that Jonah somehow didn’t actually die even though he thought he would and for some BS reasons got dragged out to a lighthouse way out in the ocean, where he built me.

Jonah built me to look as much like Zach as possible, called me Zach, and tried to make ME be exactly like him EVEN THOUGH I WASN’T. I was supposed to be just like him, and for the longest time, I idolized him for being so “perfect” because of the way our inventor talked about him.

After a VERY LONG TIME, Jonah eventually put me in the basement of the lighthouse and told me to stay there, and being the obedient kid I was, I did. And APPARENTLY while I was down there, ZACH CAME TO THE LIGHTHOUSE AND RESCUED JONAH, LEAVING ME BEHIND

I SPENT THE NEXT FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE ALONE IN A LIGHTHOUSE WITH NO ONE THERE FOR ME AT ALL

After five years, though, some people broke in and saved me. I explained my life story to them, and they explained not only that Jonah ACTUALLY died now (thank ****), but a bunch of things about Zach and how he was their enemy

They helped me rebuild my rusted body and helped me get over my idolization of Zach, and then they even let me join their biking club where we were trying to bring back a guy who saved the club leader’s life and a bunch of other people’s, too!

They gave me a chance to prove that not only am I different person than Zach, but I’m BETTER than him. I’m more advanced, I’m higher quality, I’m cooler, smarter, more skilled, I’m more EVERYTHING than him!

He was an enemy of the club, and we ended up fighting a few times, and I eventually revealed that SURPRISE, I’M THE GUY YOU ABANDONED, YOU JERK

He acted like he had no idea who I was and tried to convince me to stop fighting him, but obviously I wasn’t going to fall for that. I said some cool snarky lines to get back at him a little- I even called myself his “brother” because I knew he would think of me as that and it would tug on his “goody-two shoes heartstrings” (like he’s ACTUALLY a good guy in any sense of the word)

Anyway the fight ended by me throwing him off a cliff and sneaking some spyware into his systems, just like the club leader told me to do (the last part, anyway. I’m the one who decided to throw him off a cliff because GOOD RIDDANCE)

But now all of the supposed “good guys” are apparently trying to convince me to “quit the evil biker gang” and join THEM, and it’s getting REALLY annoying, and like obviously I KNOW Zach can’t be a good guy, but with how victimized he and his friends are acting, I just need confirmation from people other than my friends that I’m doing the right thing fighting him. I KNOW I am, I just want to have other people confirm it.

So, AITA? (The answer is NTA btw)

[braisedhoney]

please tell me about the pigments i would love nothing more than to hear you talk about that one shade of red you like and the process it took too recreate it

... oh, op. you have no idea what you've unleashed.

alright. here we go.

OKAY SO THE RED PIGMENT. pr206. my beloved. my dearest friend. it was an absolute bastard to find because there are so many of these. however many you think there are, there are MORE, and that's only if you don't count the many many scenarios where colors are known to be multi-pigment mixes, usually varying in tone/shade/intensity depending on the brand and manufacturing style. some colors are more consistent than others, but there are situations where a color can be named the same and contain the same pigments and STILL look wildly different depending on the ratio, binder, and paper you use. and that's not accounting for the way the pigment is processed. some pigments (like pv19 for example) can come in so many shades it's frankly kind of ridiculous.

anyway, my quest begins when i am, admittedly, in an edgier phase. i want a blood red, but not specifically because of that—no, i want it because it is THE IDEAL COLOR (to me) for a perfect, warm, slightly muted but still intense shade to add to a muted autumn watercolor palette. and... if you look at my whole theme, you probably know how much i love warm colors. i want to paint mushrooms. i want to dim down some of the brighter greens to make them autumnal. i want the perfect red to put as an undertone.

the search starts in earnest.

the immediate issue is this: reds (and purples and pinks) have horrifically bad lightfastness. not all of them, mind, but many are NOTORIOUS for fading under uv light, which means they will also fade if exposed to sunlight even in passing should it happen often enough. and—in especially bad cases where they're essentially working with dye and not pigment—they can even fade inside your notebook. inside of a drawer.

so not only are we working with an unfortunate pigment base (i'm simplifying here, there's way more nuance to this but shh) but we are working with one that skews heavily toward floral pinks or oranges. the red i'm searching for is warm, but not orange. dries dark but not brown. is transparent, not opaque. that last part is agonizing, because i also desperately do not want a color that will fade on me or generally destabilize, and most of the stable dark red pigments are EARTH pigments like red ochre (pr101) or the like. which, while fascinating because of their historical usage in things like pottery and even cave paintings that last to the modern day, are VERY OPAQUE. this is an issue with my preferred style of watercolor painting specifically, because opaque pigments tend to lift easier off the page and limit layering.

the search continues. pigment after pigment breaks my heart for one reason or another, drying too close to the cooler purpleish-red tint of wine at best. i think i find it in perylene maroon, but the drying shift (the difference between how a color looks wet vs after it dries on the paper) is so extreme that it loses the luminosity AND it's more opaque than most. i languish.

for a while my search turns to creation. i try and mix as many of my single pigment colors as i can into something that vaguely resembles what i'm looking for—so i take quinacridones and mix them with napthols, with nickel azos, with dashes of ultramarines and burnt sienna. everything turns out either just a bit too opaque, just a bit too muddy (that happens with multi-pigment mixtures, and is why so many people swear by single pigment colors. it's personal preference, really, great art can be made either way.)

still, nothing works. failure haunts me. i sit before a pile of used up watercolor paper that is literally covered edge to edge in nothing but similar red squares with various gradients and blooms as evidence of when i tried and failed to convince myself my efforts were close enough. i admit defeat.

in the meantime i shift my focus. i try and appreciate different color palettes and profiles, experimenting with things like fully transparent palettes (personal favroite) to fully opaque ones that function more like gouache. but despite finding appreciation for it, i still think about the damn red that i could never recreate. it kills me.

and then one day, a youtube video. a pigment is being discontinued, and the watercolor community is distressed. this happens a lot, because pigments are actually not always popular because of artists—sometimes beloved colors are put out of production because larger markets like car companies no longer find them popular enough to invest in. this time, the casualty is pr206, aka brown madder, aka quinacridone burnt scarlet.

let me tell you a little about quinacridones. they are genuinely remarkable colors. they have their own cult followings because of how bright and abnormally stable they are under uv light. they're transparent. they're luminous. they come in mostly shades of red and pink and purple, though there are a couple oranges and yellows in there. (there are no quinacridone blues, as far as i'm aware, but the phthalo blues have that category covered.) they also rewet beautifully, so you can put them on your palette and let them dry and not worry about it turning into a useless little rock of color that you can't get any pigment from anymore.

quinacridone magenta (pr122) is probably the most popular of these, the most often used besides maybe quinacridone violet (pv19). a few years prior we suffered the loss of quinacridone gold (po49) and since then people have been On Alert when it comes to losing these colors. i am one of them, because i never got the chance to even see po49 in person, and now the tubes are so stupid expensive that even the student grade versions go for Ridiculously High Prices on ebay, and the professional brands are being hoarded like (ironically) gold by anyone lucky enough to have a tube left over.

but back to our main character. not me, the pigment. pr206. i have legitimately never heard of this one, which to be fair is probably because i try to limit the random colors i fixate on since the hobby can easily get VERY expensive if you aren't careful. but it's a quinacridone, and that catches my eye.

i open the video.

now, i'm sure any artist out there will be familiar with the fact that screens don't display color consistently. it depends on your device, but most can agree that something that looks cooler on one may be warmer on the other, it's just what happens. but i see this color being swatched, and my brain implodes.

it's almost a perfect match.

it could work. it could. years of thinking that same thought have left me bereft and mistrustful of this specific quest marker, but the thought refuses to leave me. probably because the 'discontinued' label flashes like a neon sign.

i resist for about six months, and then i cave. at this point i have genuinely been trying and failing to find this color for upwards of five years. i am desperate, and the color might not be available anymore soon anyway, and apparently i am weak to sales pitches. (note: the color IS now unavailable in some brands, but others bought a decent supply and should have it available for at least a little while, alongside po48 which is quinacridone burnt orange, a favorite of mine and probably one of the only oranges i use regularly. both are discontinued officially, but they'll still be on sale till those supplies run dry.)

the color arrives. i grab my favorite brush. i pull out my stash of paper that i save for special occasions.

it's almost perfect.

i mix it with quinacridone burnt orange.

the result is, i swear, a perfect match for what i have been searching for.

it's warm. it dries dark but not dark enough to look brown. it keeps its luminosity (thank you quinacridones). it's fully transparent (thank you quinacridones). i genuinely feel the urge to weep, but i don't because i am clinging at last to the dredges of my sanity and also salt makes watercolor pigments behave differently and i will not risk this glorious moment. finally, after all these years, bill cipher has a gun i found the goddamn COLOR.

i mix it with warm yellows and with my favorite blues. with the pinks, just to laugh. life is beautiful and i am painting its sunsets, and i do not care if they look ridiculously messy. i have won.

the moral of the story is to never give up. or maybe it's to remember you never actually know everything about even the fields you love the most, because this color totally blindsided me despite being much more common than i expected. or maybe it's that i seriously needed to chill out for a while.

but yes. that is the tale of one (1) of the colors that has taken up residence in my soul. i hope you don't regret asking now lmao.

[lil0-0blume]

I want to learn how to make edits because I have a list of Lana del Rey songs for every couple that I ship on the mxtx universe (and also for characters alone) but I don’t even know how to start… 🫠🫠

(I already edited before but only some silly things 😭😭)

List of the couples here if anyone is interested:

- HuaLian: Young and Beautiful (Classic, romantic, them)

-Wangxian: Summetime sadness (pls don’t kill me)

-Bingqiu: ArtDeco (like… the vibe?? Just-)

-Moshang: Playing Dangerous (For me, Sqh flirting is something like this -when he’s not afraid ofc)

-Beefleaf: Freak (trust meeee)

-YinZhen: Sad Girl (I’m not afraid to speak the word!!)

-XueXiao: Dark Paradise (Literally died for then, my Roman Empire)

-YueJiu: Cinnamon Girl (the definition of deserved better)

-FengQing: Diet Mountain Dew (THEM. JUST THEM.)

-Bingjiu: Ultraviolence (Got the hots for them but they also deserved better, to god -mxtx- they weren’t her favorite at all lol)

-JunMei: Fishtail (“this is an work of art” seriously, the “You’ll braid my hair” is literally how I envision them in the future, healing, together)

-Niecest: Lust for life (Like you heard that??? The “but my boyfriend’s back… and he’s cooler than ever…” - You cannot convince me otherwise it isn’t them!!!!)

List for the characters:

Binghe: Jealous girl (he was the easiest one for me and I don’t have to explain myself… BE AGGRESSIVE BE- )

Hua Cheng: Cherry (It just reminds me of him!! He really does fall to pieces many times on the story, literally, psychologically and emotionally, in good and bad ways…)

Lan Wangji: Serial killer/Happiness is a butterfly (Suprised for the first one?? Well, for me it’s about the intensity in his love, the type of doing anything and everything for the one he loves… I swear he’s just so dramatic and its just captures his teen phase of ‘first love and I don’t know what to do about it so I’ll just fantasy’ About the second… His time with his love in the first live was short and not completely well lived with so much problems and yet, and yet… he found happiness, also the “if he’s a serial killer than what’s the worst” just fits with the fact that he did in fact tried to save Wwx even against all the things others talked about him, regardless of the truth, he does what he needs to for who he needs… “Looking into his eyes I think he’s already hurt” IM SO SORRY I CANT LIE)

Shen Jiu: Born to die (like I’m not even trying to hurt anyone here but I know it hurts…)

Shen Qingqiu: Doin Time (Why?? Like, “the living is ease” vibe and the sudden “I’ve come to tell you that she’s evil” just reminds me to much of the fact that he’s the “villain”!! And I just imagined the “Louie” in the song as Sqh so much anyway)

Xie Lian: Brooklyn Baby (I don’t think I have to explain this one also right… the fans go “Yeah my boyfriend’s pretty cool… but he’s not as cool as me…” and also, “Baby I’m a gangsta too and takes two the tango” gets me thinking of two different sceneries, a dance with Hua Cheng as his flower and a dance with words representing his martial god nature)

Wei Wuxian: Salvatore (Salvatore is just him, really, the vibe of, like, even if you’re being murdered, you’re smiling and you’re smiling cause you know that, some way, you’ve just fucking won, of being on a serious situation and taking it lightly because is just his way to do things but at same time not as a mockery or a joke to all the suffering, the pain, but rather, an acceptance with a smile… oh gosh what a ride)

Mobei Jun: Black Beauty (like referring to a cold, untouchable beauty like himself, because honestly, life is beautiful but it took a while for him to see the colors but he managed to find his light, or, his “sparrow blue”…)

Shan Qinghua: Meet me at the pale moonlight (I swear, even if doesn’t make sense, for me, his “pale moonlight” is Mobei Jun… but seriously?? The “I’m the sweetest girl in town so why are you so mean?” part FR FR WTH that’s his life you’re singing about Lana)

Xue Yang: Blue Jeans (“Love’s mean… and love hurts” to “I’ll love till the end of times… I’ll wait a million years” is honestly just what he did and also that slightly possessive part “promise you’ll remember that you’re mine” inspired by his insecurities and regrets, only because he was afraid to lose him… couldn’t get any sadder)

Xiao Xingchen: Margaret (In another word yes, yes it could get sadder… He’s just so good… “It kind makes me laugh”, Ah I just keep reminding that scene where he’s with XY, laughing because he’s the easy laugh type of person… And also the “the soul that you bring to the table” I just like to interpret that in a way that he made a family out a villain and homeless distrusting girl and that the “soul” spoken off on the song it’s theirs, how they find “soul” in there, in themselves, in each other…)

Anyway

…Any tips on video edition…? 👀👀

[toomuchracket]

sweetheart! George def offers to sneak girly into a bar/smoke her out or smth for helping him get a good grade on his project!! I hc that she’s not a total goody two shoes but just v focused on school & devotes a lot of free time to that rather than partying yk. and then maybe if he does well on a final then he takes her to a sweet romantic dinner & pulls out all the stops in order to thank her properly

agree with you about girly!! so convinced that george - being the thoughtful respectful boy that he is - would wait until exam season is fully over before asking you out BUT just before exams begin, george has like a little not-really-a-party party at his house one friday night. you, him, the boys, some of your friends... quite a small crowd, but fun! and a few days pre-gaff, george is like "look i was gonna get some weed for myself for the party and i'll get some for you if you want?? no pressure, and if not i'll get you something else, but i want to thank you for all your help and i figured it might be a nice way to relax before exams", and you're like omg he's so cute and you agree. it starts with the two of you chilling in george's garden on this nice early summer evening. and then - because i'm me and i'm obsessed with it - i reckon george would probably shotgun you with the joint a few times before he passes it to you to smoke. and pretty soon you're nicely high alongside everyone else at the party, lying on the grass with george just looking up at the sky contentedly. but then you get restless (me) and have a wander around the house - maybe you end up in george's room just staring at the drum kit in fascination, and he finds you and giggles at how intently you're scrutinising the snare before promising he'll teach you how to play them at some point. and then you get the munchies so he takes you to the kitchen where someone (probs matty) is making toast - george steals you some, and just sits patiently with you as you come down. sweet boy!

in terms of the romantic dinner... i think that's something george would maybe do a little bit further into the relationship rather than at this point - to me, he's so sweetly tentative with you initially, and i think your first date thingy would literally be like him taking you for a drive and a little picnic (thanks to the council @throughthepostmodernlens for that suggestion!). you've both been cooped up indoors studying, and when he suggests it you literally jump at the chance to spend time with him in the sunshine. he picks you up, looking all cute, and then takes you to the shop to grab some food you like; it's your first time being all domestic together, and george is so smitten with you, especially when you make disgusted faces and side-eye the people next to you in the aisles for buying disgusting things (scotch eggs, definitely) but then smile at him immediately after. he absolutely pays for everything when you get to the checkout, which you're annoyed at because he wouldn't take petrol money off you either, but you get around it by saying "fine, my turn to buy things next time the two of us go out, yeah?" - george agrees because oh my god you want to go on a date-like thing with him again?? he would literally do anything for that. bless him. anyway, you guys probably end up chilling in a nice park somewhere - george was so conscious that he wanted to take you somewhere nice and sort-of quiet but also not secluded enough that you would think he was trying to put the moves on you in his car - with your little picnic, eating and chatting and giggling and watching the ducks on the pond. and you're down horrendous for him, seeing him all relaxed and sweet and sunlit and HOT; he's wearing a t-shirt and, even at 17, his biceps are a thing of beauty. george thinks you're beautiful, in your little t-shirt dress and sandals, and he just can't stop looking at you. that comes in handy, though, as the afternoon turns to evening and the air gets cooler - he notices you're getting goosebumps before you do, and hands you the hoodie from his bag before you can even admit to being chilly. and you both go a little bit insane when you wear it, because oh my god you are wearing george's clothes - it smells like him, but it takes on a hint of your perfume too. and you're still wearing it when george drops you back home that night and walks you to your door - he's too distracted by the little peck on the cheek (precariously close to his lips) that you give him before saying goodnight and heading inside to mention it. although he would have told you to keep it anyway - it's yours now, and so is he <3

[gas-station-chai]

Yo Chai, I was thinking about cosplaying Jack on tiktok and basically no one I know is into tftgs, can you think of any audios that would be good for him? I have a couple but nowhere near what I'd like lol

Okay so I have so many options for you bc I've got a messy playlist dedicated to every song that reminds me of TFTGS, but I'm gonna spare you my infodumping and try to limit myself to only explaining why these three songs might fit:

First note, it really depends on what aspect of Jack you wanna show off; Wanna portray him in an angsty way? I think Destroyed By Hippie Powers by Cars Seat Headrest would fit great! Showing off Jack before his (mids)diagnosis as content and (sort of) happy, and then cutting to the tired, apathetic, go-with-the-flow version of him we know so well. 

(What happened to that chubby little kid who smiled so much and loved The Beach Boys? What happened is I killed that fucker and I took his name and I got new glasses)

Or do you wanna show off how Jack as a character gets manipulated constantly? (I do, LOL) In that case, you could go with Fool by Djo, with Jack acting generally confused and anxious as he spirals into madness through the chorus (maybe with text of a bunch of gaslighting quotes from Vol. 3 surrounding him?). 

([...] I'm a jester and I'm yours Call me your (look into my eyes and baby, whisper) fool I will be your fool (I'll be your fool) I'll perform for you (perform for you) Just tell me what to do (do) I always felt so foolish anyway)

Or lastly, you could go with Dark Red by Steve Lacy and pair it with Jack acting out… well, there’s a ton of instances where Jack’s got a bad feeling about something and ends up being right about it. But my favorite one to imagine with this song is the cooler scene in Volume 1, where Tony’s trying to convince Jack to get into the cooler and flashes him the gun in his waistband. (actually, this is something I’ve been wanting to draw out, too :3)

(Something bad is ‘bout to happen to me…)

Of course, these are all just suggestions from a guy with limited(?) music taste, so I'm sorry if any of these don't fit the vibe you're goin for. No pressure, no stress to use em! Good luck and have fun cosplaying my favorite wet cat of a man <8

[hartlow]

the last post i reblogged reminds me of this girl i met at summer camp. her name was sabrina; she was a year or two older than me, so she was in a different cabin and i rarely saw her. she was really popular with both the kids and the counselors, but the two times we interacted, she was kinder than anyone had ever been to me before.

first time we met: i was relaxing in a hammock when she passed by me with a group of other girls (that was during a period of time where you're technically not allowed to just be in the hammocks, but i was a 12 year old hiding my chronic illness; if she knew that was the rule, she didn't say anything). she told me the dinner bell rang a while ago, so i quickly got up like "oh crap, i didn't hear it". she asked if i wanted to walk with her and the other girls. this was SUPER awkward for me as a 12 year old. she was a 14 year old with other 14 year olds, and when you're that age, you think 14 year olds are so much cooler than you. i said sure anyway, though, and as we walked up the hill, she asked me what my name was. i immediately panicked. i don't know if what i had was exactly a lisp, but s's and l's were hard for me when i was nervous, and my deadname had one of those letters, so i introduced myself in the WORST way possible. stuttering, very quiet, basically lisping my name. i cringed at myself and was dreading the possibility of her mishearing me saying a different name, and me having to correct her, as i often had to do with people. but she just smiled as if i didn't completely fuck up, and was like "(deadname)? i like that, that's pretty!". we might've talked more before we reached the dining hall and split up to sit with our cabins, but that at least stuck out to me most. getting a compliment like that from a complete stranger, not to mention one of the Cool Kids in my eyes was very shocking.

second time: it was a different day, and a collection of kids were on the dining hall porch, which had some games set up on the picnic tables. i was aimlessly walking from game to game to observe other people, and started standing on the sidelines as sabrina was playing apples to apples with some campers. they were definitely deep into the game, but sabrina saw that i was watching her, and said to me "here, you look like you want to play. you can have my seat!". not only did she say it, but she genuinely, very quickly got up out of her seat and made a motion for me to sit there. THIS FREAKED MY ANXIOUS ASS OUT LOL. i felt so appreciated, but i genuinely did NOT want to play with these people i didn't know, so it was very awkward as i stuttered, again, and convinced her she could continue playing. i probably straight up ran away to some other area of the camp after that. i don't remember.

i do know that, at least at one point, i ran away to the bathrooms to stare at myself in the mirror, because i was scared i was gay.

i was gay. i interacted with a lot of kind girls there, a lot of them much more frequently than sabrina, and none of them made me freak out the way she would. we had two interactions, and i was kept very occupied at that camp, yet i would still find myself thinking about her. she had long, curly blonde hair and blue eyes. i had never noticed anyone's eye color that wasn't a family member before. i remember pretentiously comparing them in my mind to sapphires.

that year was her last year before you aged out of the camp. i had really wanted her contact information (because i "just wanted to be her friend"), but i chickened out in the end since we hardly talked, and a middle schooler trying to become friends with a high schooler felt unbelievably humiliating. her opinion mattered to me too much, so if she ghosted me, or god forbid rejected me right in front of me, it would've broken me. i couldn't take that risk. i had to go home, knowing i wouldn't see her again and it was honestly heart-wrenching.

it still gets me a little sad. do i think i would've ended up dating this girl at 12 years old? of course not. my mindset was nowhere near that concept. with how unstable i was, it was probably wise that i protected my mental health and didn't risk the rejection. yet she was so nice... even if she turned me down, which she probably would have, she probably would've done it in a very kind way, and then i could say i had given it a shot. or maybe we could've ended up friends, which would've been fantastic. i needed that kind of positivity in my life.

you really have to risk giving things a try. i learned that the hard way. but i'm at least glad i met her in the first place. remembering her always reminds me people aren't so bad.

[thegreatimpersonator]

Hello!! I interrupt your scheduled programing with "Kate tells Meg about the book she is reading because she is bored and reading is fun!" time!

Okay - so, I finished the Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty on audio, and wow! I really liked it! I found the writing to be subtle, and the narrators did such a great job with the emotions the book had. The plot was almost like peeling back a layer on something, finding more and more behind the walls. It starts out one way, and then the adventure starts and pulls you along for the ride. The characters were lovable, and it was so nice to read a book that had Middle-aged adults at the helm. They felt real and I rooted for them! Very excited for the next book when it comes out! Highly recommend for audio!

Up next for audio: I am about 25% of the way through Thistlefoot by GennaRose Nethercott! I've picked this book up a couple of times, only to turn around and set it down for whatever reason. This time, second time trying on audio, I managed to push through the part that kept stumping me, and I like it so far! I am interested! I like Bellatine a lot, but still trying to find some connection to Issac. I am curious to see how this will all intertwine with each other because right now it feels like there's a lot trying to happen. However, the setting is dreamy and lush with imagery and fall vibes, so it's doing a great job for healing my heart, as I ache for the cooler weather, spookier vibes, and dreamy colors.

For physical books, I managed to get about 50 pages through Immortal Longings this weekend, and I wish I could find some more time to sit and read because I like it! The setting is gritty, the vibes are mysterious and what can I say, I love a good trial setting. Still getting to know the main characters, but I am rooting for them! Has the classic Chole Gong imagery, but a lot less dense, and I think the New Adult setting for her works well! I think it allows her to actually tell the story she wants to tell without being worried about it being too much for a younger audience. Hope she considers sticking in the genre!

Other fun news, we adopted our new kitten on Monday! He is about 5 months old, black short hair and the sweetest little guy. He's snoozing in his carrier while I work right now :D His name is BMO from Adventure Time! We're still a bit away from introducing him to our older cat Suki (from Avatar the Last Airbender!) but hopes are high and we are so happy :D

Anyways, thanks for tuning in! Back to your scheduled programming with Meg talking about Kendall Roy :D (Long asks for the win!)

OH HELL YEAH it's been a long time coming!! This makes me instantly want to pick up immortal longings, but I need to finish my current read first haha! Lovely to hear about Adventures of Amina al-sarafi, I bet audiobooks add a whole new dimension to the genre (I've heard so much about how yellowface would work best w a narrator, looking forward to try that out) and BMO 🥺 i hope he gets along well with suki, always ALWAYS a pleasure to hear about cats!! Im currently reading siren queen by nghi vo, I guess I'm still chasing the do tell vibes and so far it has been promising so let's see how that fares! A friend also highly recommended Naomi's Room and I think this is the perfect time to delve into horror so maybe I'll check it out soon, Still trying to convince myself to get started w house of leaves but for some reason I keep saving it for later lmao!

[finelinevogue]

Hey could u do a blurb of someone probably Mitch or sara or Jeff or Lambert walking in on reader and Harry backstage having sex? Like reader would be so embarrassed and Harry would take it very lightly. And the person walking in teases them all the time about it. Thank you so much. Love 💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟 ur writing.

anon: What about Post-concert love making?

okay so i guess we’re doing this *smiles cheekily* ;

The “whale” was back.

Right at the end of Kiwi, Harry filled his mouth with cool water and sprayed it into the air like a fountain of energy, later it would look like a fountain of love as captured on camera by a fan.

Harry ran off the stage, fans following closely behind in what looked like a stampede almost. He grabbed a black mask from one of his security guards and put it on whilst he started running off backstage. He waved to a couple of fans and blew kisses to as many people as he could, still so very high on adrenaline. When he saw you in his line of vision, his adrenaline only increased. He thought about all that he was about to do to you and swore his cock had never ached so desperately.

He ran past you, grabbing tight onto your hand as he did so forcing you to run with him. Luckily for you, you were only wearing trainers so didn’t feel like you were about to fall over in heels.

“What….” You laughed, not knowing whether Harry could even hear you behind your mask but you underestimated him.

“Just come w’me.” He pulled you further backstage, passing Jeff along the way.

“1 hour before we leave.” Jeff made clear to Harry, knowing your boyfriend had a track record of not keeping an eye on time when it came to intimate activities with you.

“Got it!” Harry shouted back as he continued to run, you behind him.

“1 hour!” Jeff shouted again, emphasising every syllable. Harry laughed and waved him goodbye as he rounded a corner with you.

You both ran down the corridor and took another left, before Harry punched in the code to his dressing room door rapidly and pushed you both in so fast everything was a blur of bodies and pink. Because yes, Harry’s outfit was pink. As soon as the door shut behind you, Harry pushed you against the door, unhooking your mask and throwing it in the bin - same with his, before smashing his lips to yours. His lips were sweaty and the unshaved hairs were bristly against your mouth, but you loved it so fucking much.

“Fuck baby.” He leaned against your lips, pinning his hands either side of your head on the door as his lips took control over yours. His body was a distance away from you, but you pushed yourself into him by gripping the back of his neck and caving yourself into him. He felt so good against you. His body so wet and hard. His torso was glistening in the golden light and he looked so much like a God.

“Did so good tonight, babe.” You talked against his lips.

“Ssh ssh.” Harry whispered, making you stop for a brief moment to listen to him, “Praise me later, love me now.” And you smashed your lips back onto his, pulling yourself even further onto his body so his arms had to go around your waist to support you both. His hands felt warm and flush against your cooler skin and it gave you so many goosebumps it was unnatural. He lifted you up with the strength of his muscular arms and carried you over to the dressing table, kissing you continuously. He put you down safely in a clear spot and untangled his arms around your waist to spread open your legs. Lucky for him, you were wearing a skirt.

His face looked up at yours and smirked. That damn smirk.

“Gonna ruin you m’heart.” How could his words me so corrupted and so sweet at the same time? You didn’t have much time to continue mentally answering that question though, as his fingers pulled aside your panties and his tongue was straight to licking you dry.

“Shit!” You screamed out and Harry brought his other hand up to cover over your mouth to keep you quiet, not needing this moment to be disrupted by someone barging in because they thought something was wrong.

“Shut up and take it like the good girl you are.” He whispered against your sensitive pussy, making your folds flutter and your insides swarm with butterflies. No one could ever make you feel the way your Harry did. Ever. “Taste too good.” He moaned against you, swirling his tongue all over you. In and out. Up and down. He concentrated on your clit until he could feel your legs already beginning to shake. Clearly you had already been close to your release just by watching him perform. He felt the same way just looking at you whilst singing songs like Watermelon Sugar and She.

His tongue destroyed you, pulsing in and out of you so fast until you could barely remember where you were. He was too fucking good at this, no wonder he wrote a song about it.

He left your cunt alone, standing up and making you whine in annoyance. His hand de-clamped from your mouth and he gave you a look like you thought too little of him if you thought he would just leave you this high and no release.

“H, please.” You begged, giving him your best puppy eyes. You were too focused on his hungry expression for you to notice that he was undoing his pants and boxers, letting his cock spring up against his chest. It was the wet noise of his cock hitting his toned abs that made you look down, gasping when you did. It was so thick and the veins were pulsing so proudly. You were so desperate for it, your pussy between your thighs wanting some sort of attention.

“See what you do to me?” He asked rhetorically but you nodded anyways, licking your lips as you looked at his throbbing cock eagerly.

“Want you.”

“Yeah? Y’want me and m’cock?”

“Please.”

He shifted himself forwards slightly, pumping his cock ready in one hand whilst pushing your panties to the side with his other. You moved forwards on the vanity so that you were perching on the edge. The first tip of his cock at your entrance made you breathless, jumping when you felt that sensitive connection between you two.

He pushed himself in slowly, making sure he filled you up completely. He took it slow so you could feel every vein and ever pulse of his cock, making you moan so deliciously when he was balls deep in you. You rested your palms on the vanity behind you and breathed out heavily to catch your breathe from this highly euphoric moment. Harry didn’t wait until you were ready to start pumping into you, pulling himself out of you only to forcefully thrust himself back in.

“Fuck.” He mumbled under his breathe, as one of his hands went to steady you at your waist whilst the other one picked up your thigh and rest it on his hip so he could angle himself better - deeper.

“Feel s’good.” You moaned out between your cries of ecstasy, trying to keep as quiet as possible.

“Feel even better wrapped around m’cock, baby. Been wanting this all night.” He continued to thrust harshly as he spoke, giving no room for adjustment but plenty for pleasure. You felt so good that you never wanted this to end. “The things you do to me… makes me wanna fuck you breathless.”

“Then do it.” You challenged him.

He took you up on that challenge, thrusting into you quicker than he had before and deeper too. You felt him in the pit of your stomach and man did he feel incredible. The wet sounds of skin slapping filled the room and you rolled your head back in the high of it all. Harry took this opportunity to lean forwards and kiss at your neck as much as he could, biting his love into your skin and staining his lips there so everyone knew you were his. He was so believably territorial sometimes. His pace was hard and fast, you high approaching quickly.

“Y’gonna cum, hm?” He asked, already knowing it was a yes.

“Please, need to. Please.” You begged him, moving your arms off the vanity and up around his neck to be closer to him. The movement made you both moan at the difference it made to your pleasures, feeling so warm and desired within the moment to thinking about much else.

“Yeah? Then cum f’me. Only f’me.”

“Just f’you.” You whispered, before kissing him tight as your orgasm overtook you, knowing your moans would’ve been overtly loud otherwise. He kissed you back with so much passion, you couldn’t work out whether it was love or lust or maybe both.

You felt cloud high.

Your lips parted and you both were trying your hardest to breathe, listening to each others heartbeat to sync up and calm down together. Harry kept pecking your lips as his release was still pulsing into inside of you, coating you with his thick cum that you’d no doubt be told to keep in you until he got you to the hotel room to lick it out. Your release left your toes tingling and your head empty, well apart from the dirty thoughts about the wonder man in front of you.

“Well that was—”

The door swung right open and in waltzed Jeff. Harry covered your body with his, still so deep inside of you. You tucked your head into Harry neck to hide you of this terrible and embarrassing moment. Harry’s arms tensed around you at the thought of someone seeing you right now, even though he was the one with his trousers down to his ankles.

“Jesus fuck…” Jeff shouted closing the door behind him over as he walked straight back out. “Lock the door next time.”

“What do you want?” Harry shouted, keeping you firmly encased in his protective hold.

“Plans changed. Need to go now.”

“How about 5 minutes?” Harry asked, knowing he needed some time to wash you clean and make sure you were alright to walk.

“Fine. But that’s all.” Jeff shouted and then you heard him walk away.

“That did not just happen.” You tried to convince yourself, laughing into Harrys neck.

“Just can’t help myself around you, can I?” Harry laughed, kissing the side of your head before he knew he had to get you two ready. Jeff would be back if not and he didn’t need his manager to see him buried deep inside of his girlfriend again.

[diavolosthots]

Hey dear! I hope that you have a good time! I want to make a request, but please delete it if you don't feel like doing it.

I saved that request in the notes and been waiting for you to open them 😊

For request

First fight with brother (any of your choice) and one of them (I mean MC or that brother) thinks that it's end of relationship (because never had anything serious), but they reconciled in the end. I want some heavy angst with happy ending. MC can be GN if that is OK.

If you don't mind you can do for Mammon, but feel free to choose another one if you don't feel like write for him. Or if that would be better to write as headcanons for all the brothers. That's up to you!

I haven't been doing requests for ages. Please don't hate me if there is something wrong! I've read the rules, and I hope I haven't missed anything.

Anyway, sorry for long ask. And thank you for your writings!

(I forgot to look if you did anything similar, and remembered it at the end of writing that ask. Sorry if you already did something like that!)

Hey babes ❤ I did end up doing HCs for all of them because I thought it would be cooler (or more like I know someone is gonna request separate fics for all of them if I dont and I'm saving myself that trouble lol) I still hope you like it ! ❤ also this got SUPER LONG so its under a cut

Warning: angst -> happy ending-ish

THE BROTHERS in a fight with MC and thinking that they’re over (yikes)

Lucifer:

Everyone always says Lucifer is quick to lose his cool but he’s honestly been nothing but patient with you. He may have hinted at several things he doesn’t condone and he definitely has that ‘look’, you know the disappointed dad look, but he has held back a lot so as to not ruin the beautiful relationship you have with him. Everyone snaps, though, and when he finally did, it was ugly. He did NOT call you names, but oh he didn’t. He went straight for your feelings and pointed out every mistake you ever made for as long as he’s known you. Ouch. In his defense, you weren’t nice either. The argument ended nasty and ‘I hate you’s!’ were definitely thrown around, but none of them were meant, right? Goodness, he doesn’t know. After you left, he threw himself on his bed, literally, and just stared at the ceiling. His anger slowly fled away and he began to feel… guilty. Not necessarily because of the argument itself, but because he delivered some low blows and he knows that. Are you over? Done with him? You haven’t texted or called or talked… you’ve been actively avoiding him and he doesn’t like that, but his pride is such an issue, goodness. He can’t straight up apologize, that dickhead, but he’s sending you flowers and standing in front of your door with a sad face that says it all. 

“Forgive me? I made reservations at your favorite’s? We can talk over a nice dinner?” 

Mammon:

Mammon is known to get mildly agitated over the silliest things, let’s be real. He’s also quick to revert to the “are you dumb?!” argument, which is never effective. But he loves you and he would do anything for you so even if you do do something that he deems ‘dumb’, he usually bites his tongue. Doesn’t mean that doesn’t get on his nerves, though, and he definitely has a short temper, although people tend to overlook that. You just managed to push his buttons today and he used the “are ya stupid?!” argument, to which you obviously defended yourself, and rightfully so. This ended in a massive screaming match and him saying “Then leave! Ain’t nobody keepin’ ya with me!” He regretted it the minute those words left his mouth and you could see his eyes grow wide in shock at his own words, but that didn’t mean you stayed. “MC!” he tried running after you immediately but you were faster and honestly, who can blame you? He fucked up, and he knows it, and he feels terrible about it. Honestly, he’s crying just at the mere thought of you taking his words seriously and he can’t… he can’t bear to lose you, you know? What’s he gonna do? You’re the light of his life, as pathetic as that may sound to some…. So he won’t let you run away. Homie will hunt you down and beg for forgiveness. 

“Please, MC! Forgive me! I’m dumb, not you!!! Don’t leave me…” Don’t leave him. He will continue crying. 

Leviathan:

His constant need to put himself down is frankly, quite annoying. To you anyway. But you put up with it and just reassure him that, at least to you, he’s the most amazing demon that ever existed. It’s just facts. But a person only has so much patience, right? You can’t always spend your days trying to lift him up when all he does is dig himself a bigger hole. Who has the emotional time for that? You sure don’t. “Oh my God, Levi! Shut up! I can’t take it anymore!” Followed by “See! You’re just like everyone else! Leaving me!” and then you slamming the door to his room shut. It’s frustrating and understandably so. It makes you feel awful that you can’t even make your own boyfriend feel good about himself and get at least a little bit of self confidence and it’s so, so, so very draining to have to constantly listen to that. At this point, it’s affecting your own mental health and you just… you just can’t…. But Levi can’t lose you because he knows you’re right. He has to work on himself if he wants to keep someone as amazing as you with him and that’s why he’s crawling back to you now. 

“Look I… I know you’re right… I’m sorry. I promise I’ll … I’ll try. For you.”

Satan:

For being the Avatar of Wrath, you always admired Satan for his ability to keep cool. He prefers the relaxed and easy going life much more than the type of life people expect him to live, and you respect that. That doesn’t mean his constant need to one up Lucifer, through whatever means necessary, didn’t bother the hell out of you, though. You tried talking to him about it once or twice in a calm manner, but you always got the same answer “Pfft.. it’s Lucifer. Who cares?” And it never sat right with you. Just today he decided to pull a prank on the eldest and you had enough, standing in front of Lucifer and letting the bucket of cursed green slime land on you instead, to everyone’s shock. “What are you doing?!” Now that you’re thoroughly green from head to toe, you were also beyond pissed. “What am I doing?! What are YOU doing?!” But Satan matched your anger tenfold, accusing you of favoring Lucifer over him and oh! “You probably got an affair with him, too!” Which was a stupid thing on his part, but it looked like it the way you defended him. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion you felt running through you and had it not been for Lucifer, you probably would’ve physically fought Satan for such a dumb accusation. Lucifer took you to get cleaned up and lifted the course, giving you your natural skin and hair color back within a few days and plenty of scrubbing, and Satan felt like shit. You’ve always been there for him and, rationally speaking, he didn’t have a reason to doubt your loyalty to him, but he just can’t help but feel insecure beside Lucifer…. He decides to come apologize anyway, a deep blush on his face and guilt in his eyes 

“I’m… sorry for accusing you. It wasn’t my right to speak out of anger and jealousy…” 

Asmodeus:

How can anyone fight with the Avatar of Lust? Seriously, the guy is super easy going and he loves pretty much everyone. Not as much as himself, but almost. You on the other hand… you didn’t. Well you didn’t NOT love him or yourself, but you were just… you. You didn’t spend 4+ hours in the bathroom trying to get ready when you knew you were only going to the kitchen down the stairs. Like?? Although you never brought it up to Asmodeus, he constantly bothered you about skincare and what foods to eat and what not to eat, etc… It’s quite annoying, honestly, and at some point you just gave him a passive aggressive “Okay, whatever. Can we move on now?” To which he didn’t take lightly. He was still nice and sweet, trying to convince you that at least one of these things will make your skin glow brighter than a unicorn’s ass but you just had enough. “Can you stop?! You’re indirectly saying I’m ugly without that shit ton of product in my face and a diet that would make me starve before it helped me! If you want a skinny VS angel that barely holds onto their skeleton, get one!” It was more hurt and frustration speaking than anything, but your outburst still shocked him and he was taken aback for a moment. And then you ignored him for a week straight and as someone who thrives off of attention, especially the kind he gets from you, he can’t handle that! So he showed up in your room in sweats and a tshirt and messy hair and no product on his skin. 

“You’re right… we’re all naturally beautiful…. Wow that… that really hurts to say MC but can you forgive me?” 

Beelzebub:

Oh the sweet, sweet angel. He’s far from innocent and you know that. We all know that. But for this story, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. His reliance on Belphegor is just really… annoying. Belphegor this, Belphegor that. “Belphie used to…” or “Belphie said….” or “one day when Belphie and I….” Like why does everything have to include his twin? It’s so annoying and so rude when your significant other is right here !!! and planning their own future with you, Beel, thanks. It makes you feel less than and like Belphegor will always come before you. It makes you feel like shit, quite frankly, and who is to blame you? “Hey MC did I tell you what Belphie---!” “No! Shut up! I don’t care! It’s always about Belphie! The day you come to me and don’t let that name drip from your tongue is the day Jesus comes back to save me and we both know that will be never! I’m tired of always being stuck with Belphegor! We are not equals!” Granted, you shouldn’t have yelled and Beel was more than confused at your outburst, but you wouldn’t talk to him anymore after that so he left you alone. He thought you may need an hour or two, maybe a day tops, but that day turned into a full week and he even lost his appetite just because he knows you’re angry with him. It’s been a week, does that mean you’re over? His heart aches just at the thought… 

“I’m sorry for bringing Belphie up… I don’t want you to feel less than, MC. You mean a lot to me and so does Belphie, but you’re not Belphie and I need to learn that…”

Belphegor:

Honestly it’s a miracle he hasn’t lost his temper at you yet. Well, he partially blames it on his own laziness because if being angry or getting upset didn’t take so much energy out of him, maybe he would’ve snapped by now lol, but he tries really hard not to because he thinks your relationship with him after everything is pretty good, considering yall kiss and snuggle and fuck on a regular basis. But anyway, that’s exactly the issue. Considering everything, you’re still holding *that* against him. It’s never direct either, which makes it worse. It’s always said in a joking manner and something like “haha look it’s just like that one time you killed me” or “Beel’s grabbing that ham like you grabbed my throat” or “I remember seeing jesus for a moment there” and it agitates him. It makes him so angry, and he finally snapped. “I know I fucked up MC! Stop holding it against me! What do you want? A medal of honor? A survivor's certificate? Maybe a pat on the back for developing some sort of Stockholm syndrome that made you come back to your abuser?!” And then he left. And you may have cried both from confusion and your own anger, he isn’t quite sure. It’s just so…. Aggravating. He can’t deal with it. He knows it was a mistake spurted by his own insecurities and survivor’s guilt which ultimately led to his hatred but please, stop holding it against him.. He can’t keep putting up with it from the person he’s grown to love. He’s the one ignoring you and he won’t budge either because he’s a stubborn ass, but maybe if you come up first… 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you… I’m just so tired for it being held against me… I love you, and you should know that, and I do feel guilty about what happened.” 

[erimeows]

Feverish

You were surprised to have been called to the med bay a little bit past nine in the evening, woken up by your phone ringing and Ratchet on the other end. You clutched your robe close to your body as you raced through the hallway, sleep in your eyes and worries in your head.

The lead medic had given you no explanation, only telling you to come meet him outside of the med bay as soon as you could before he hung up on you.

You wondered if it was an emergency, if someone was injured or dying, if something had happened during patrol- Wait, no. Their night patrols didn’t start for another hour or so, and if it had been an emergency, someone like Bumblebee or Optimus would’ve called you in a panic.

Still, the whole situation was weird, and you were worried, so when you saw Ratchet outside of the med bay leaning against one of the walls, you immediately approached him with your concern etched in your features. 

Upon seeing you, Ratchet stood up straight, then put a strong servo on your shoulder in a reassuring manner before looking down at you. His pale blue optics burned into your (e/c) eyes, and though you tried your best, you couldn’t read his expression.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the medic spoke.

“Optimus Prime has fallen ill.”

“What?” You immediately sputtered, and your eyes flew to the door of the med bay; closed, you couldn’t even see Optimus. You just prayed that he was okay. In the time that you’d known the Prime and his team, you’d seen him injured or sick plenty, though the former was much more common. He never prioritized his own health and tried to push himself to do things, even when he was unwell, so he took forever to recover... Hopefully it wasn’t something severe. “How bad is it? Is he awake? Have you told the team yet?”

“Hey, hey, slow down. It’s nothing crazy, (y/n), so don’t worry,” Ratchet’s words, said in an uncharacteristically gentle tone, soothed you, if only a little. If it were serious or ‘crazy’ as he put it, he would’ve told you directly instead of lying, so you believed him. “This morning, I was the first to wake and go into the kitchen to make myself an energy booster when I saw him stumble in... As in, he was literally stumbling over himself and I could see steam rolling off of him from overheat. He insisted he was fine, but something was off, so I dragged him to the medbay for testing. He’s low on energon and coolant, he was overheating, and there was a minor glitch in his vents from some battle damage that I had to fix. He’s recovering fine, but my main concern is that his chassis seems to be overheating to kill an infection. I think it’s just your run-of-the-mill space bug based on the labs I did, so I gave him some antibiotics.”

“You didn’t answer some of my questions-” You started, now concerned with whether you could actually go and see Optimus or not.

It wasn’t uncommon for the red and blue bot to ignore his own needs, but for him to have ignored symptoms that could’ve turned into something much worse had Ratchet not caught them... You wondered if there was something bothering Optimus that was making him neglect himself, more than he usually would.

“So demanding, you youngin’s,” Ratchet huffed and rolled his optics at you. “It’s not that bad, he’s awake, and no, I haven’t told the others yet. Our nightly patrol is soon and I have to break the news to them somehow, which is why I called you here. You can’t go with us anyway and they need me since we’re down one bot, so I want you to stay with Prime. He responds the best to you...” You blinked and then blushed at that, (s/c) cheeks burning bright. It was true that you and Optimus were close, but for Ratchet to acknowledge it like that... Well, you were flattered. You’d loved Optimus for as long as you could remember, and even though Ratchet surely meant that in a platonic way, it was nice to know that the effort you put into your relationship with the bot meant something. “His condition isn’t from a decline in his physical health- I had to pry like hell to find out what it was, but Prime finally broke and told me that he couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten an energon cube or ran a self-evaluation to make sure he was functioning properly, which is why he’s energy-depleted and why the damage to his vents went unchecked. He’s so stressed from the leadership that this team needs that he isn’t taking care of himself anymore, and now, it’s led to him falling sick again. I think there’s something else going on in that processor of his, too, but he wouldn’t tell me anything else... I just know it’s more mental than anything.”

You stopped, frowning. What else could Optimus be hiding from everyone? Was he doing something dangerous? Had something happened? Was he breaking down from stress?

“O-Oh.. Okay,” You mumbled and leaned into the servo of Ratchet’s that was on your shoulder, sighing when he ran his thumb over a sore spot on the groove between said shoulder and your collar. The two of you had developed a close bond over the past couple years since they’d been on earth, with you, Sari’s tutor and caretaker, also acting as a second medic for the team with Ratchet’s training. While he’d trained you in how to care for the Autobots, you’d given him the basics of human anatomy and medical care, so with that time spent together, you were close- whether the old grump admitted it or not. “What about his medicine? How often does he take it? Is there anything else I need to do?”

“One pill every six human hours, they’re the white gel capsules that are rationed out on the table by Prime’s med-berth. I just gave him a dose, so don’t get him another one until three in the morning. He also needs to drink plenty of energon, coolant, and lubricant to get better, so make him do it, even if he gets pissy with you- shove it down his throat if you have to... But those are all things that I already told him, and he’s fully capable of taking care of himself. I don’t need you in there to take care of him so much as I need you to stay in there to make sure he doesn’t get up and do anything stupid. You know how he gets when he’s sick.”

“Unfortunately, I do...” You let out a long sigh and crossed your arms over your chest. It was going to be hard dealing with Optimus- hell, you could already imagine how he would be trying to sneak out of the med bay to go on patrol or trying to make you bring paperwork for him to do. You wouldn’t allow either, but considering how much larger he was than you, you’d have to convince him to relax instead of just being able to hold his aft down like Ratchet or Bulkhead could. “I’ll make sure he stays put. I’m assuming you’re taking over leadership until he recovers, Ratchet?”

“As the team medic, I’m second in command, so yeah... I have to. I’d let Prowl do it, but Primus knows he doesn’t want to, and I wouldn’t let Bumblebee or Bulkhead within a ten mile radius of any form of responsibility like this. I’m really the only option.”

“Right...” You imagined what a patrol without Optimus, led by a stressed and grouchy Ratchet would be like, and then cringed. “Good luck.”

“Thanks. I’ll need it.”

With that, Ratchet withdrew his servo from your shoulder and waved at you before turning around and walking down the hallway. You figured that Optimus shouldn’t be left alone for too long, so you quickly entered the med bay and shut the door behind you.

It was dark, with a small night light plugged into the walls that illuminated the room just a bit. You could see Optimus, who looked uncharacteristically pathetic, weakly laying on a med berth with a small side table on the ground next to him. On the table were some energon sticks, a cup of coolant, and the white pills that Ratchet had mentioned. 

“(y/n), is that you?” Optimus asked, trying to sit up, but immediately groaning in what you assumed was pain and flopping back down. His eyes squeezed shut, a strained grimace taking over his face-plates. You pulled one of the stools by a wall-counter to the side of the room where Optimus’s berth was and put it right by his side table so you could sit by him. You were close to his face, so you leaned down to look at it as his optics slowly opened back.

He was sick, and it would take at least a few days if not a week to recover; you could tell just by looking at him. His ocean-hued optics were abnormally dark and foggy, his powder blue faceplates were stained dark with heat, and though he wasn’t steaming like Ratchet had described this morning, there was definitely still heat radiating from his frame.

“Yes, Optimus, it’s me... I’m here to watch over you,” You leaned in to kiss the top of his helm, able to feel just how hot the metal felt against you. When you pulled back, you frowned at the absurd amount of heat- almost hot enough to make your lips sting, while Optimus’s normal temperature was a bit cooler than that of an average human’s by a degree or two. “Ratchet called me down here and told me what’s going on a bit ago. The team’s on patrol right now.”

“Slag, I can’t believe Ratchet told you,” Optimus groaned again, this time in annoyance instead of pain. “I told him not to earlier when he was fixing my vents... He’s probably going to tell the rest of the team, too. I have to get up and go supervise the patrol-” He forced himself to sit up this time, forced back a wince, forced his optics to open fully, but the second you pressed a rushed hand to his chest plates and attempted to push him back, he froze.

“Oh, no you don’t!” You argued, eyebrows furrowing in frustration as a pout formed on your face. 

“Oh, yes I do!” The Autobot argued back without hesitation, but didn’t actually move to push your hand away or leave even though he was fully capable of doing so, only resting one of his servos on the one of yours that was on his chest- stumbling and overheating or not, he was much larger and much stronger than you. Then again, he probably knew that Ratchet would beat him to a pulp the second he recovered if he dared lay a single digit on you to escape the med bay. “As much as I appreciate the concern, I don’t want it nor do I need it, and I certainly don’t want it from my team. It’s bad enough that you know. I know they’ll start asking questions when I don’t go on patrol with them, and if they hear that I got sick from overexerting myself and not getting enough rest and energon, they’ll never let me hear the end of it-”

“Well, maybe that’s what you need, so lay your stubborn ass down! I did not come here with my hair all fucked up and in this stupid robe in the middle of the night when I could’ve been sleeping just to have you run away from me when I’m trying to take care of you! You getting up right now just drives home how bad you are about prioritizing yourself,” Optimus’s plump and normally soft lips, now chapped from dehydration, pulled together into a tight frown- it was the face he made when he knew he was in the wrong. “You’re getting out of your bed when you’re supposed to be resting so you can go lie to your team and tell them you’re fine when you’re not, and for what? Your pride?”

“No, I just don’t want them to worry for me. I’m already stressed out enough and the last thing I need is for that to contribute to their struggles. They’re all dealing with so many of their own problems, and I’m sick of being a burden to everyone around me...”

Optimus huffed, but gave up and laid back down, much to your relief. He still held your hand, though, and you let him- even if he was sick, you didn’t want him to let go.

“You’re not a burden, and just like how they’re dealing with their problems, you’re dealing with yours. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved and respected, and not to insult your acting skills, but... They won’t believe you if you walk out there overheating and struggling to stay standing to tell them that you’re perfectly fine. Ratchet told me how you were stumbling around this morning.”

“I hate that you’re right,” He mumbled, and you wondered why he always had to be so childish when he was sick. 

Then again, as much as you hated Optimus’s stubborn personality, it was a major component of who you’d gone and fallen in love with all that time ago. It was crazy, you thought; just the extent that you loved Optimus Prime to, and how terribly unaware he was of it. You thought it best to keep the fact hidden, as you didn’t know what his feelings were, and he had so much on his plate already... It hurt to think that he didn’t know how loved he was- not just by you, but by everyone around him, who he was always bending over backwards for, completely unaware that they’d do the exact same for him.

“And I hate that you treat yourself like this. Plus, as much as Ratchet threatens us all with consequences for our actions, he’s not going to tell them what’s going on in depth; just that you have a fever and that you’re resting, you know he respects patient confidentiality. He’ll probably even downplay it because he knows that’s what’ll make you happy.”

“No, you’re just trying to reassure me, but...” Optimus paused and let go of your hand, fully settling back into the berth. You took your hand back and looked off to the side, already missing his touch. “I know you want to, and that Ratchet probably told you to spend the night here and take care of me, but I’m alright now. I’ll stay and rest, I promise. You can go to your room to sleep, I know you’re usually not up this late, and I’d hate to keep you up with my problems.”

You didn’t really want to leave him, but you were tired, and you believed his words. His tone was genuine enough.

“Are you sure?” You asked and received a nod in return. So, you stood up and collected yourself. “Okay, if you’re sure... I’ll leave and go get some rest, then come back at three to give you your antibiotics and make sure you’ve got something on your stomach.”

Silence. 

The second you turned around to leave, though, Optimus was grabbing the back of your robe and holding the cloth between his digits, tone low as he spoke again.

“Actually, (y/n), wait... Don’t leave me. I need you.”

You turned back around and looked at him, confused. Hadn’t he just told you seconds before that he was fine and that you should leave to go get some rest so that he could fall into recharge as well? What was with the sudden change of heart? Was there something going on with his physical condition, or was it something else?

“Huh? But Optimus, you said you needed to rest...” You muttered, which earned you a shake of his head in return.

“I will,” Optimus promised. “Please, just stay and don’t question it. I lied to you, I don’t know why, but I can’t be alone right now. Don’t leave me.”

The plead from him was unexpectedly vulnerable, honest, open. You appreciated it, but at the same time, you were concerned about what exactly was going on with him- you felt like there was more to the story than stress and leadership and lack of self-care. While all of that was definitely in character for Optimus Prime, there was something else that he wasn’t telling you about, too. With how close you were to him, it wasn’t abnormal for you to have deeper discussions, but for him to admit that he wanted- no, needed you there with him and couldn’t be alone was something you’d never thought you’d hear in your lifetime.

“Okay, I’ll stay until you tell me to go, then. Thank you for being honest with me.”

With that, you sat back down on the stool and looked at him. A little bit of that light had returned to his optics, but he still seemed like he was in rough shape.

“Thank you.”

Silence again.

Instead of adjusting to get comfortable and slip into recharge, Optimus just sat there with his back against the board of the berth, optics trained on you. It had taken a while to get used to when you’d first met him, but nowadays, you were used to the Prime’s intensity, especially when it came to eye/optic-contact. Still, though, the way he was staring at you now... You couldn’t quite interpret it. Then again, could you usually? Optimus was hard to read sometimes.

“You’re not resting,” You teased, but received a serious response in return.

“I’m thinking, and then I’ll rest.”

“You’re sick, the last thing you need to be doing is overthinking like you always do,” You reached out to him, rested your palm on the side of his face and tenderly ran a thumb over the apex of his cheek. Surprisingly, he leaned into your touch with a smile.

“What if it pertains to you? It’s either I tell you and get my closure, which is daunting, or I sit here overthinking it like I always do.”

You felt your heart drop to the bottom of your stomach and flinched. It had been obvious that something was on his processor, but it had to do with you? What was it? Did it have to do with your feelings? Tense, you talked again.

“...Have I done something? I’d rather you tell me.”

“You’ve made me fall in love with you.”

The words were whispered but still felt so loud, filling the room with their impact in a way that made your cheeks hot and your heart beat hard against your chest.

“Your illness must be making you delusional,” You laughed nervously, but Optimus only gave you a sloppy grin and laughed. You moved your hand to the top of his helm to check his temperature, but it hadn’t changed- as much as you wanted to believe it, you were sure he was being serious and not having feverous hallucinations like you’d initially suspected. Still, you thought it proper to ask. “Do you feel hot? Are you overheating again?”

“No, (y/n), I’m just in love with you,” Optimus peered at you, smile falling a bit. “I mean, yes, I am sick, and I’m still overheating, but I’ve been in love with you for- Ah, I’m actually not sure how long it’s been... I just know it’s been too long.”

There was a pause, in which the two of you seemed to be processing what important things were said; in the span of just a minute or two, Optimus had boldly laid his feelings out for you on the table, unabashed and proud, the tension that came with two years worth of pining that you’d been doing solved so... Quickly. You were surprised you hadn’t felt your jaw hit the floor.

Had he really loved you the whole time? Or was this a recent development? Why was he only telling you now? Had his stress over his feelings for you also contributed to his sickness?

“I’m not sure I can talk about this in good conscience when you’re so vulnerable,” You smiled back at him, (e/c) eyes meeting his ocean-hued optics as you removed your hand from his head. Shyly, he reached out to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “It feels selfish, but... I love you, too, and that’s why I want you to rest and get better, maybe not stress out so much.”

You kissed the back of his servo as he pulled it away, earning what you hoped was a blush and not more symptoms of overheating.

“I’d kiss you if I weren’t afraid of getting you sick,” Optimus sighed. You were sure that you probably couldn’t catch whatever he had going on since he was a Cybertronian and you were human, but you didn’t want to test that theory, so you left it alone.

“It’s okay,” You reached out to hold one of his servos in both of your hands, squeezing reassuringly. “I can feel the sentiment. Just focus on getting better, okay? We have all the time in the world.”

“Sometimes I fear we don’t- Have all the time, I mean, and I suppose that’s why I finally broke down and did this- I like to believe I’m impervious to everything around me, but I’ve already died once, and every time I get sick, I always think about what will happen if I go offline without telling everyone around me just how much they mean. I didn’t want to be scared anymore, not when it came to you.”

“I...” You stood and got on top of the berth so you could sit next to Optimus, curling into his side. “Me, too.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?” The Prime asked and wrapped an arm around you. Gentle. Strong. Warm.

“Would you like me to be?” You asked in return with a tilt of your head.

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll be here,” Optimus looked at you, clearly somewhat doubtful, but you only shook your head with a smile. “I promise, I won’t leave you. Just get some rest, okay?”

“...Okay.”

So, you stayed, and when Ratchet walked in the next morning to see you curled up by Optimus’s side on the berth with your (lip/chap)stick smeared on his servos, both of you sleeping peacefully for once, he couldn’t help but think that Optimus getting sick once in a while wasn’t so bad after all.