#it may be june but my thoughts didn't change at all during the last few months

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Monthly Follower Recs

Monthly follower recommendations for the months of May & June 2024

Another Day, Another Disaster (ao3) - what_the_gosh_dang

Summary: Dan is in possession of Phil's private journal

Carpets, Pokemon and hugs (These are a few of my favorite things) (ao3) -DownDownFangirl

Summary: "Is everything ok?" The tall guy stops. The elevator starts to close. The guy reaches for the door and it opens again. He looks into Phil's eyes and it’s strong and focused and confusing. - Phil works at a motel and Dan is a guest who comes and goes. There are many thoughts to think and many delicate conversations to have... And it can get confusing, especially when you live hundreds of kilometers away from each other.

dan is not a pianist (ao3) - Marranje

Summary: One night, Phil stumbles over a musician's YouTube channel. Years later, they're sharing the most important moments of their lives.

(in which dan pursued the piano, they did not meet in 2009, but still finds each other through the power of the internet)

everything has changed (ao3) - gamingbeats

Summary: Dan and Phil go on holiday to NYC and everything changes when Dan books only the couple's options.

Flashes of Innocence (ao3) - yiffandquiff

Summary: Phil Lester was an aspiring photographer, trying to fine tune his skills in a black and white photography class. Cue Daniel Howell, the attractive male that walks in one day and captures Phil’s eyes. But Dan has a small secret, he needs help. He runs a Tumblr blog and he needs someone to shoot his photos for him. But there’s a catch that Phil doesn’t know right away. Dan runs a NSFW porn blog and he’s asking Phil to help him recreate authentic photos.

hard times, baby (ao3) - queerofcups

Summary: For some people, their jumps came with a task. Figure it out, finish it and your past self would just fade away. That's not Dan. He's not sure why his past self is here. But he's got some theories.

I Got One Less Prom Without You (ao3) - ticklishpickle

Summary: Dan Howell, boyfriend of Phil Lester, has always cared too much about what other people thought of him. And so it's no surprise that despite his complete infatuation with Phil, it takes him months to finally muster up the courage to come out to his friends. But hey! They're surprisingly okay with it- except for the part where they want him to bring a girl to prom instead of his own boyfriend. (Because popularity and stuff, or something)

And so he becomes Dan Howell, ex-boyfriend of Phil Lester. Watch him as he tries to get rid of the 'ex' part of that title.

I Swallowed the Sun (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: Phil's past still haunts him, and the memory of what might have been. (Inspired by the song "Daniel" by Bat for Lashes)

It’s been twelve years since Dan last saw Phil, twelve years during which Dan has been to hell and back. It’s been twelve years since the boy Phil fell in love with vanished. But now Dan’s back, and he has a story to tell... (Songfic for "From Eden" by Hozier)

After twelve years apart, Dan and Phil are giving their relationship another go, but things are off to a rocky start. (Songfic based on "Good Love" by Bat for Lashes)

run as far as your dark brown eyes can see (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: Dan’s laughing, pleased with his own joke about being an awkward child, about misfit war wounds, which Phil will obviously relate to.

Oh.

(Or: the many times Phil has been surprised, and the one thing that didn't surprise him at all.)

snowballs (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: your mum is trying to get me drunk

The Golden Rule (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil is just looking for some friends when he changes school, what he gets is Dan Howell and that's not a good thing.

There's no way you can change the rolling tide (ao3) - rollingtide

Summary: ”Phil threw his head back laughing. And Dan felt a huge urge to kiss him, which made him feel a little bit taken back. In his 23 years on earth he had met many gorgeous men whom he had felt attracted to. But never had he felt like he needed to kiss anyone before. And he couldn’t pinpoint what the difference with Phil was.”

or

A famous/non-famous AU where Dan is hopeless and Phil can’t make coffee for shit.

To Bite The Hand That Feeds (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Daniel Howell is a lycan, his and his family's secret safe from the public. It isn't until Phil moves into town with lycan parents that things become a problem.

Dan has to learn how to control his wolfy nature while also making and maintaining friendships. Can he do it, or will his secret be revealed to the world?

To be loved (ao3) - Thedemonqueen

Summary: Dan knows Phil insisted they’re together. Dan knows Phil loves him. But it doesn’t stop Dan from feeling dirty when he wants to touch Phil.

Typical (ao3) - Junebug1312

Summary: Dan and Phil hate each other. Everyone knows that. But what happens when Dan breaks both of his wrists and can't do certain things himself?

Also when has someone saying "prove it" ever actually worked as an invitation.

Vampire Moon (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil knew it was foolish to stay out late on the night of a full moon. It was even more foolish to agree to take a walk with Dan who was never up do any good. But Phil couldn't admit to himself that he had a blind spot concerning the vampire, and now he was going to pay for that.

*Phil said: “Oh! Is this a self-insert fic? I was called hamster boy at school. I wanted to be Oz. Bite me, granddaddy.” And I said: Bet.*

[bestofsophieturner]

Now, the rumors about Sophie and Joe's divorce are slowly changing. Sources now say they already had problems back in April, or that they had "schedules problems with Joe touring and Sophie filming all the time".

While the rumors are less about "Sophie is a bad mom" and more about "they're both at fault", I still find it annoying. The thing is, you can't paint Sophie as a partying girl, doing nothing first, then say she's a very working girl, focusing on her career.

And as a fan of Sophie, I have a hard time buying this narrative. It may sound more reasonable but still... it doesn't align well with what she said and her career. What I'm going to say on this post are all speculations based on she said and did in the public eye. So maybe I'm wrong, but I wanted to express my thoughts.

First look at her projects :

- The Staircase

- A cameo of five minutes in Do Revenge

- An episode for a children program Storybots

I exclude Survive since she filmed it from September to November 2019, before they had their children.

I'll include the fact she was supposed to film a movie last year Wardriver with Dane Dehaan. It has been abandoned or at least Sophie left the project. It's not on her imdb page and we didn't hear about it from a long time ago. There was also this project Come as you are hyped back in 2022 but never really announced. Both projects don't appear on her imdb anymore.

And obsviouly Joan, she's filming it right now since May.

And now what... ?

- The Staircase has been filmed in 2021 for a few months in Atlanta. At least from June to August. I don't think we know exactly how many months, but we know at least one thing. Sophie got a house in Atlanta so she would have her daughter with her. I have no reason to doubt it. To me, it sounds like Sophie was trying to find a balance between her work and family, she apparently did it.

- Do revenge... so it was a cameo. I'm no expert, but I don't think it took a whole month to shoot it, maybe a few days. Especially she did while filming the staircase. So it couldn't take much. And from what I remember, the shooting of the movie itself had been one month or two. So well, not too much.

- Storybots, I have no idea when they filmed it. Since she has red hair, I'd say between summer 2021 and summer 2022. And like the cameo, I don't think it took much time either. Maybe a few days, or a week or two.

Yes she has been working. And actually, I believe The Staircase and Do Revenge have been good choices. So I'm not saying she stopped her career. But to me at least, she doesn't sound like someone who focused more on her career than her family. I might even add that between her two big projects (so the staircase and Joan) there is a gap of almost two years.

Other things...

- During the staircase promo, she said many things... first, that she had a house in Atlanta to have her daughter with her during the shooting.

- Then, that she chooses her projects very carefully because she doesn't want to be away from her daughters.

- I'll add another thing... Joe has been spotted many times with Sophie in UK from April/May to July. So it's a bit hard, to me at least, to believe the absent mother rumor.

So in my opinion, from her interviews and career, she was trying to balance her professional life and personal life.

More, I'd say... pick a struggle, she either focus more on her acting projects than her family or either chooses to spend her time partying.

If you're still there... women are allowed to be more than one thing : mother or wife or working woman. And a woman can be all the things at the same time. I'm tired of those medias trying to paint Sophie as an absent mother.

[ysabelmystic]

PLEASE tell us about the shadow boi

Thank you to the at least four people who humored me on this one.

(Using it/he pronouns for the shadow in a gender neutral way)

This took place during my freshman year of high school. I was living in a newly built tract home at the time. This is the last place you'd expect a haunting to occur, but in my experience, California is funny like that. Despite the southern US seeming far more likely to actually be haunted, most of my and my family's experiences have all taken place within the California central valley. This was just the craziest and most undeniable of those experiences.

One morning around the start of the school year, I woke up at exactly 4:15am. My alarm wasn't due to go off until 5:30. Catercorner from my bed was a tall, vaguely human-shaped shadow. And by shadow I mean a dark blob that hovered in the corner rather than being attached to the wall.

Now, this was almost immediately at the start of my Exvangelical era. My parents and I were wading into deep edgy atheist territory. "Facts and logic" and all that. Instead of freaking out, I decided that I was probably hallucinating and went back to sleep. After getting home from school, I rearranged some of my furniture and put my violin stand (I was forced to play against my will but I digress...) in the shadow's corner.

This did not work, because the next morning, at exactly 4:15am, I woke up to the same shadowy blob in the corner, now covering my violin stand. This time, I turned on my phone light and shined it in the corner. The shadow didn't disappear like a normal shadow would. Instead, it seemed to rapidly melt into the adjacent closet.

I might've been an "atheist", but I couldn't completely commit myself to the idea that the supernatural was a creation of human ignorance and imagination. What I was committed to was the belief that the vast majority of "evil" and "demonic" beings were deeply misjudged and at worst just needed a friend. I did some research on shadowy beings and creatures, and found that this thing most resembled "the hat man" (despite being hatless). And since "the hat man" was "evil", surely, it either neutral or friendly. I would treat this thing with respect, and if it was just a hallucination, then wasn't it better to make friends with my hallucinations instead of demonizing them?

This was my train of thought for the next several days, as every other day or so, I was woken up at a 15 minute increment between 3:45am and 5:00am to this shadow in my room. Usually, it was in the corner, but some days it edged closer and closer to the center of the room.

About a month in, one morning, I woke up to the feeling of pressure on my legs. The shadow wasn't in the corner, but at the foot of my bed was the obvious indent in my mattress that could only come from a person sitting there.

Instead of panicking (probably because I was fucking tired), I said something along the lines of, "I don't care if you're in my room, but you have to stay in the corner".

The indent vanished and the pressure disappeared.

Nothing notable would happen for the rest of the school year. As annoyed as I was to be woken up early, in some ways, I started to appreciate the shadow in the corner. I would say good morning to him or gripe about being woken up early. I asked it for its name a few times, but I never got anything. He was just a nameless entity who lived in the corner of my room.

Sometime around February, I went off of my mood stabilizers cold-turkey. I didn't sleep for three days, and when I finally did start sleeping again, I was afraid that the change in my brain chemistry would mean that I'd never see the shadow again, and when I did, I told him that I missed him. The fact that nothing changed in the pattern of appearances is part of what convinced me that it was real.

The final time I saw it though, things changed.

It was either late May or early June. My family was about to move, and it was my final night in the house. The only things in my room were my mattress and blankets, my art desk, a couple of art supplies, and a wooden stick in my windowsill that kept it from being opened. And that final night, I said something to the effect of, "You're free now. Have fun haunting the new family," and went to sleep.

I woke up at exactly 6am. There was no shadow in my room. Instead, what I saw was the stick in my windowsill levitating in the air. It lingered for a few seconds and then fell to the ground. My window slid open, and the bag of colored pencils in the middle of my desk was knocked to the floor.

I was a little shaken, but I was more exhausted and in total disbelief than anything else, so I went back to sleep.

Later that morning, I woke up to my mom opening my door and scolding me for not being awake and for opening the window when it was so damn hot outside. The stick and pencils were also still on the floor. I asked if she had opened it, and she said that she absolutely had not.

I have no other explanation other than that it was the shadow, and that I had somehow set it free. When we moved across the country, I was actually upset with myself that I hadn't invited him along, and tried a few [failed] demon-summonings to see if I could fill the void. I don't know where he come from or why he was there, but it happened. It was weird, but given that I never felt outright afraid (and with some entities, I have), I assume he was friendly. Given that I spent most of that year being actively suicidal, he was one of the few things that brought me any joy, and was probably one of the reasons that I bothered staying alive at all. Regardless of who it was or what he was, I hope that he's dong okay.

But yeah. That's the shadow boi, and he is my number 1 reason as to why I believe in ghosts.

[kitekki-khaos]

A Year of Khaos: 2023 Review

Welp. 2023 is officially over and we're onto another year. I wanted to put together some kind of year in review thing and since I didn't get a chance to do it during my final stream of the year, I thought I'd just put it all together into a blog post. So here's an overall look at the year:

2023 was my "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks" year in an attempt to really feel out what I wanted to do with streaming. So my plan was to pick a Thing for each month, really go all-in on it for the month, and make something focused around that by the end. Then change for the next month, rinse and repeat.

I've always been a Jack-of-all-Trades, which is as much a blessing as it is a curse. I CAN do just about anything if I decide I want to do it, but that also means there's no One Thing I'm really good at. The only One Thing I have is something that's borderline impossible to stream, which is writing. So... Project Year. Try everything, see what sticks.

So I present, the various skills I attempted to build throughout the year and the final product they produced:

Projects Completed:

January: Fashion Design - Ironmouse Outfit Contest Entry

(List continues under Read More)

February: Blender - New VNyan Throwables

March: Variety Streaming - Trying different Stream Categories

April: Game Development - Ludum Dare

May: Sewing - Summer Wardrobe

(horrible failure, just ended up making things in blender, instead)

June: Traditional Painting - Minis

July: Minecraft Redstone - Basics

August: Minecraft Map Building - Halloween Adventure Map

September: Stickermaking - Sticker Chat Banner

October: Dance / MMD - Halloween Transition & Halloween Stream

November: NaNoWriMo - WIP

December: Thankmas & 3-Year Debut Anniversary - Charity Streams and 3.0 Reveal

In addition to the projects I was working on throughout the year, I was also working on the 3.0 model at the same time. Throughout the entire year. Which, I came to realize was kind of a mistake trying to do both. I just barely got the model done in time because my time was so heavily split between so many things. Especially when you add that I was ALSO still editing videos for Youtube all the way until September. (which was a full 12-hour day, twice a week) So I was working on completely rebuilding my models from scratch in a program I was wildly unfamiliar with (blender), doing a new project every month, streaming 3x's a week (usually upwards of 6 hours), AND editing 12-hours a day twice a week to post 2 videos and 2 shorts every week.

It was... a lot.

Last year was a lot.

Too much. Even for me.

There were even a few more things on the list that I wanted to try out this year, but ended up not being able to figure out how to stream it. Baking, for example.

But I'm hoping to find something I can really focus on for the coming year and lessen at least some of my constant uncertainty about what I'm doing with life. And maybe ease up on the work, in general. If I was awake, I was working last year. I was so burnt out and exhausted by the time December rolled around, I had no energy left for my biggest event of the year. Honestly, I'm still exhausted. I wanted to get this post out ages ago but I just had no energy to write it.

I need to ease up a bit next year. Figure out what I actually want to do. But I feel like I have a slightly better handle. Maybe.

We'll see how it goes.

As a final note, here's a list of every game I played throughout 2023, which was honestly a lot. I try to finish as many games as I can, especially the horror games, with the exception of co-op games or sims. Some unfinished games (like Hollow Knight and A Hat in Time) I plan to finish at some point. Others, like Digimon Survive, I've decided to drop for good. Whereas yet others, I'll probably finish on my own as an off-stream game. (Slime Rancher 2 I'll probably play by myself but I've played through Ni no Kuni like 3 times in the past so I'm fine leaving that one where it was).

Games Played - 53 Total

( * - Finished / + - Co-Op/Sim )

My horror game backlog is massive so Indie Horror Nights are guaranteed to return in 2024. Obviously. Horror is kind of a thing. Variety Night is also guaranteed to return because I like having a day where I can just do what-the-fuck-ever.

However, I don't know if Project Night will be a set thing in the future. Additionally, I'm considering adding a fourth stream day but I haven't committed to the idea yet. I want to get back to fashion design but I don't think I'll be picking the seasonal collections back up for this year. Maybe just do themed outfit sets, instead. I may also try making them in blender instead of VRoid this year, as well.

There are a lot of decisions to be made about 2024 still.

I'm not sure what I want out of this coming year yet. But thank you to everyone who puts up with my perpetual indecisiveness, there will be more in the future.

Here's to a new year and new possibilities.

[melis-hellis]

Onward's 3rd Anniversary - A (Long) Self-Reflection Post

three years. three gosh darn years old. you're not allowed to be three years old, onward.

the world has obviously changed a lot since this humble pixar film came into my life. when it released, i was an 18-year-old in senior year of high school, and now i'm a 21-year-old junior in college. animation has changed a whole lot, and has been challenged by the perpetrators of the stigma more than ever. and for me...well, there have been a ton of developments in just these past several months.

for two and a half years, this film was my entire life. it was the only thing i thought about. i created tons of art and stories to expand upon this universe that deserved more love. i adored and connected with the characters...i hadn't quite related to a pixar film this much. i connected with the depiction of loving siblings, the emotions, the fantasy world...i've adored animated films before, but not to this extent.

and despite the film's unfortunate reputation - viruses, lawsuits, lesbian cops and all - i wasn't alone in my love. there was a small group of people on this very website who shared my love for this underrated gem, and we came together to create amazing things. we lifted each other up during dark times, and while things weren't always perfect, we powered through.

what's so unique about this particular anniversary is that this is the first one where i'm not active in the fandom. in fact, i'm not the only one who's inactive - most of my friends have also moved on to other things. but our love never went away. if my love went away, i wouldn't be writing out this post. but i'll be honest - i tried to draw a fanart last night, and i couldn't put anything on that procreate canvas. and it breaks my heart because i wish i could put out something like fanart today. but given my business with other fandoms, this post will suffice.

my one major goal i had in this fandom was to complete at least one season of my fanmade series. and that i did - my series was loved throughout this small fandom and seeing the reactions every time i posted an episode warmed my heart. on onward's 2nd anniversary - one year ago today - i completed the first season and started preparing for the second one. by the end of may i began scripting, and i was really getting in the groove...until late june.

something started feeling off by the end of june. i didn't want to admit the possibility of my onward hyperfixation waning, but that's what it felt like. it felt like the magic was being sucked from me. i blame lightyear partially for this; the film was so underwhelming that it soured pixar a little bit for me, and between that and dreamworks coming back with banger movies again, it made me stop paying attention to disney for a bit. i began looking back at older fandoms again.

july and august came and went, and while i still had a bit of onward motivation in me, it wasn't enough to continue writing. i did all i could - but nothing would bring it back up.

then i started junior year of college on august 22nd, 2022. a few days before, the whole warner discovery HBO max fiasco went down, and put the future of TAWOG - one of my old special interests - in jeopardy. while that special interest was a in a dark place...the youtube channel of the special interest i had directly before disney/pixar/onward hit one million subscribers.

in the 2010's caddicarus fandom, the prospect of him hitting one million subs felt like a legend. something that wouldn't really happen. back when i came along in 2014, he was projected to hit one million in 2017, as this was his peak in popularity. but as time went on, that 1 million goal moved further and further away as jim kept steering the channel into its demise. he had no self-awareness and felt he had to grind and pop out videos like rabbits to keep his numbers up...which, if you were a fan at the time, you probably knew was not true. the videos lost their quality and magic...and, funnily enough...i lost my patience on march 7th, 2019.

i unsubbed that day, but i'd been irritated with the channel's output for a while before that.

of course, if you know me, you know the story - exactly one year later, i saw onward in theaters with my sister and my life was changed. after a year of changing between many different fandoms - jontron, game grumps, seeing TAWOG for the last time before its finale, vinesauce, ducktales - pixar was now my new special interest home. the subsequent lockdown was a time where i produced tons of edits, fanarts, and fanfiction experiments.

on the caddicarus side of things, jim almost shut down the channel in late 2019 as his numbers were at their absolute worst. after having an epiphany at a convention in january 2020, he completely shook up his content style, and his channel was suddenly rejuvenated, bringing him the largest figures in the channel's history. before 2020, every caddicarus video gaining a minimum of 1 million views was completely unheard of, let alone none of the videos being under 30 minutes.

what's so ironic is that caddy began making banger videos again around the same time i got with onward. and yet i completely refused to watch them. i knew what was going on, i knew people were saying the newer videos were better. but i couldn't make myself watch them.

i had actually tried to come back for my 7th anniversary in august of 2021 - fun fact, my caddica-versary is august 21st, one day before august 22nd, aka what's now 1 million sub day - but i had just committed to my onward series, and i couldn't have another interest interrupting me.

so another year passes, and we're back at august 2022. i watch caddy cross over to 1 million subs, and it doesn't feel real at first.

i didn't immediately return to the fandom, but i knew in my mind that i needed to go somewhere as my onward hyperfix was thinning.

so what's the last thing i create in the onward fandom? do i draw an elaborate fanart? do i put out at least one episode of the second season i'd been hyping and pushing back for months? do i tease even more OCs and episode ideas? do i put out another chapter of that other fanfic i was writing? or a one-shot?

...on august 28th, 2022, the last things i ever created in the onward fandom were these two fortnite dancing gifs.

this reminds me a lot of alex lasarenko and his disney channel jingle. he's created a lot of breathtaking orchestral pieces - and yet the thing he's most known for are those four notes that have been used on the disney channel for over 20 years. for me and onward, the thing i go out on are these two silly gifs...and honestly? i don't mind that.

the following friday, i finally began watching the 2020-present caddicarus videos...and it was like falling in love with the channel all over again. i love both the original and current runs of the caddicarus show for completely different reasons - but the current run is the one i rewatch, quote, and remember the most of. because it's actually amazing.

needless to say, i resubbed that night, and i could comfortably call myself a caddicarus fan again.

something very funny about this is whole thing is that caddy says the word "onward" a whole lot. like, a whole lot. on interviews and streams, he usually brings up how new fans should only watch his videos from 2020 onwards. in his video talking about his merch box, he says the jokes and references within the box are from his videos from 2020 onwards.

it's like pixar had been sending me a subliminal message this whole time - onward (2020) came out just as caddy's videos became the best they've ever been. pixar was basically telling me "hey, caddy's moving onward too, so you should give his newer stuff a try and stop thinking he's living in the past".

here we are at onward's 3rd anniversary, and i'm still waiting for my caddicarus blu-ray to arrive. it'll be the first caddicarus merchandise i'll be able to hold in my hands and cherish - back when i was a teen, i couldn't just ask for caddicarus T-shirts as my parents couldn't find out that a swearing youtuber was my big special interest. and now, when that box arrives, i will have merchandise of all the major special interests i've had. i'd finally added the missing piece to the puzzle - or maybe for this case, a missing brick in the wall, or... the last check on the bucket list...

...and i've never felt more complete.

thank you pixar. thank you onward. thank you dan scanlon, kori rae, tom holland, chris pratt, literally everyone who made this movie a reality. no matter how much it's overlooked, memed on, dogged on, etc., there are people who adore this film for what it is and the emotions it has brought. it has helped me with many of my personal struggles, and to this day it stands as a glowing reminder that we should all strive to keep moving onward.

so, with all that said, keep putting it in O my friends. because you'll never be ready if you don't try.

[manonamora-if-reviews]

New Year's Eve, 2019 by Autumn Chen

============= Links

Play the game See other reviews of the game See other games by Autumn or follow @cyberpunklesbian

============= Synopsis

Social gatherings are not your preferred activity. But this one is obligatory, and it threatens to ruin you. You are Karen Zhao, a senior in college who is home for winter break, and seeing your old high school friends for the first time in years. You are not ready, not even close, but perhaps you could make the best of it. Two endings, many paths to arrive there.

============= Other Info

New Year's Eve, 2019 is a Dendry* game, submitted to the 2022 Edition of the SpringThing. This game is a sequel to Pageant (review). *Autumn is also an unofficial maintainer of the Dendry format.

Status: Completed Genre: Dating-sim, Slice-of-life, LGBT

CW: social anxiety, panic attacks, depression, family conflict

============= Playthrough

First Played: June-2022 Last Played: 31-May-2023 Playtime: around 1h (1 full playthrough - 1 half-assed) Rating: 4 /5 Thoughts: A science-type forgets how to human, has a panic attack at a party. May or may not be fine at the end.

============= Review

Jumping a few years into the future of Pageant, Karen Zhao comes back, more anxious than ever, for a short evening, celebrating the turn of a new year*. Stuck in a house out of social obligation, Karen has the option to interact with a cast of familiar faces, go down memory lane, or hide from everyone as best she can to avoid starting a panic attack before the clock strikes twelve. How ever will she cope????? *and what 2020 brings... rolling eyes

Spoilers ahead. It is recommended to play the game first. The review is based on my understanding/reading of the story.

The one thing that I love about Autumn's games is how real the characters and their interactions feel. NYE19 is no different, continuing on the tradition of anxiety-inducing situation and self-deprecating humour bordering on self-loathing. But unlike its predecessor, Pageant, NYE19's tone translated less as slice-of-life-of-a-stressed-teenager-trying-to-make-it-through-the-semester-oh-god-is-she-having-a-panic-attack-again-just-kiss-her-you-dummy and more of this-is-what-a-college-student-forced-to-come-home-for-the-holidays-special-sitcom-epidose-feels-like. From the really awkward meetings with your old high-school friends (or did you date them? or were they crushes?), to the adults hounding you with questions about your future, or your family wanting to uphold a certain image around people. It's a party we've all been to, it's the kind we wish we didn't have to stay...

And Karen, our favourite anxious lesbian, does too. From the start, she warns the player she does not want to be here, really does not find having to engage in small talk (especially with people she's lost touch with), and actually wishes being anywhere but at this party. It is awkward to interact with people you knew (or more than knew) some years prior but with who you have lost contact (life...), finding how they have (not) changed, and how they've been fairing compared to you.

During the span of an evening, you meet (again) Emily, a trans woman (out of the closet then?) who helped you in Pageant to win (kinda) said pageant; Miri, your best-friend, who tagged along for the party because she did not want to be at her family's party* and became the social butterfly you could not be; and Aubrey, your high-school rival, who seems to still be doing just as well with her Harvard education, her Harvard boyfriend**, her probably-perfect-looking Harvard life... You also get to roam around the party daydreaming nihilisticly about the state of the world, hide in the basement to watch a MCU movie and be cringe to your brother, stuff yourself with food*** to temper with your imminent anxiety attack, play some mahjong and lose badly, hide in the bathroom and take selfies sending your into some self-loathing, play some games on your phone****... *the reason is pretty unclear, even with the option of confronting her. **who the fuck brings up the election topic on a New Year's party?!?!?! The gall of that man... ***which of course, I did... ****that one is hella meta, since you can play IF games AND a Pageant-like dating-sim

Whatever you do (especially your interactions), you are constantly reminded of your shortcomings from the past and how you let your anxiety cause the dwindling of your relationships. Your past haunts your every move and your every thoughts, and being in the presence of people from your past makes it all the worse for your mental being.

Half-way through the game, you sit down to have some dinner, forced at the kids-but-not-really-kids table where all your (former?) friends are interacting. It is very awkward, with Aubrey forcing everyone to introduce themselves as if they were having some sort of team-building meeting, her boyfriend forgetting about the No-No-Conversations (Politics-Religions...)... You can choose to participate in the conversation, eat, or listen, but no matter what happens, you will leave the table before the meal/conversation is over, leaving the party as well to go for a walk.

This is where things get interesting. Emily asks whether she can come along, and agreeing or not will give you very different outcomes. The latter will find you wallowing about your loneliness and how devoid of human connections your life is (much due to your own actions), while the former has a more hopeful and levelheaded conversation (leading possibly to a relationship...). With each still, and throughout the whole game, Karen goes on an introspection about the seemingly importance of human interaction, how easy it is to fuck up things, and the transactionality of relationships, all wrapped in a nihilistic and fatalistic bow (everything goes wrong, even if you do the right things).

Even if this sounds all depressing, it strangely is not. I found myself giggle at some passages*. The dry self-deprecating humour is honestly hilarious (especially the Narrator's comments). At any moment, I was expecting a laughing track to cue. Or maybe I was just playing this with a strange mood... * You have committed CRINGE. Kevin may not remember this, but you will. don't worry, game, I will remember...

The game is also very meta about what it is trying to convey. From playing a dating-sim game within an essentially dating-sim game, to the commentary on human interactions being comparable to dating-sims in the optimisation of [emotions/variables] to get the best possible outcome through a sequence of actions we hope is the correct one while we play a dating-sim where the sequence of choices can be optimised to get that "good ending", the story and the gameplay play quite interestingly on each other to get those points across.

Still, unlike other works from Autumn, while I enjoyed myself playing it, it didn't have the same impact on me. I didn't click as much with it as her other games, and felt a bit unsatisfactory? by the end of the playthroughs. The game has some strong moments, especially the part outside of the house, and some funny moments during the roaming around before dinner/before the countdown, but at other moments, it felt hollow. Maybe it is because of your limited agency in the way you interact with others or act, since Karen is an anxious and socially awkward person who has a hard time expressing her feelings and thoughts. Maybe it is because some of the characters you interact with and the way you defined your previous relationships don't feel as fleshed out (Miri and Aubrey comes to mind*, especially compared to Pageant or even Emily). Or maybe it is Karen's blasé look on dwindling and lost relationships that ticked me** that only allows her to have superficial contact with people (aside from Emily). Or maybe it is the more fragmented type of different gameplay/mechanics that didn't work as well as the Storylet format of Pageant***, or the more linear work of GG and the war. Or maybe because the end was a bit too abrupt... *I was wondering if you could choose to have had a relationship with either of those as in Pageant, but you can only with Emily **was it because the game called me out of doing the same as Karen did to some friends from school? Who knows... ***yes, it's bad to compare games that are inherently different...

There is a wonderful sentence from the post-mortem that really encapsulate the vibe of this game, and strangely reminds us of the hope Karen feels just before returning to the party... and this is where I will be ending this review: The past is inescapable, but the future is not entirely determinate.

There is still time...

Some loose points:

Dendry has some really interesting customisations, from the addition of backgrounds to extra assets in form of character portraits, putting the game in a strange text-only choice-based/visual novel limbo.

The conversation bits, especially the dinner between the gals, have such BPH vibes, which is not surprising, since his work is mentioned in the influence for this game. (with the character portraits style and the formatting of the dialogue with the colours (though the grey for Emily was a bit hard to read).

I really liked the inclusion of the Chinese characters in the dialogues in Chinese. This was only included on the first few lines in Pageant (continuing only in italics), but this really helped distinguished better the conversations in English and the ones in Chinese.

As with Pageant, some choices are worded in a way to form a full sentence or complete a thread of thoughts. I liked that.

[naturallyalisia]

Day.. 8

(I'm just guessing at this point) (and procrastination but will jump into it after this)

Medical gaslighting, discredit, nexplanon and my miscarriage story

so I needed mostly wanted to get this out. I had a visit with my gyno yesterday after shift for pelvic pain I've been experiencing. During my visit I got validation and confirmation of an event I haven't really talked about in depth.

Nexplanon to Pregnancy

So in June I had a miscarriage while on nexplanon. For 3 months since that time I've struggled with doctors not believing me because of how "effective" it's suppose to be at more than 99.9%.

Listening to my doctors I've kept in my nexplanon a little over 3 years because it's supposed to still be effective for up to 5 years. I did a 5 year stretch once without any issues. This was my second round. Depending on your body nexplanon can cause irregular bleeding thats really, really short, sporadic or none at all if youre lucky. For me it started of short and light nearly non-existant than it would come sporadically sometimes lasting over a week. It was a down side I was willing to deal with to avoid forgetting taking a pill and getting pregnant by accident.

Now at a pattern I've noticed is when it's coming close to replace the nexplanon for me my period would start getting back into it's normal cycle. Bleeding is more manageable and starts earlier like it usually does. At this moment, I believe I got pregnant end of may/early june. I either ovulated some point before or a bit after. I never kept track because of how irregular my periods were and with nexplanon being a progestinol (dont hold me on this ) it apparently thins the lining of the uterine wall which can cause bleeding. To add this nexplanon is suppose to make it harder for the sperm to meet the egg based on the mucus being thicker thus making it harder for it to move through.

With all that pregnancy was the last possibility on my mind, plus I wasn't active enough for it to even happen (but hey it only takes one time). A wee bit in early june the first week, I did get my period however, it was much easier this time around and much shorter. I thought the period fairies blessed me with such an easy period. After this things started to get weird for me. Emotionally, I was just feeling off and very sad, emotional, tired alot. I chalked it up to dealing with the outcome of moving towards getting divorced. I figured it was all because of that and the feelings surrounding it. Made sense.

Shortly afterword like a week and change after I noticed some scalp pain, and bald/thinning spots in my crown. I had styled my hair differently and stretched it but the loss of the hair was so profound I made an appointment with a derm immediately. The diagnosis was CCCA a form of scarring alopecia. Which devastated me because I was only 28, I didn't style my hair crazy, I wore it mostly natural. I took my new diagnosis and cried in the bathroom before making my next appointment.

In this moment, I thought I was being punished for wanting a divorce and trying to change things. I couldnt imagine what I could of done for this to happen to me. I called my grandma and cried to her on the phone about it and she told me the same thing happened to her around my age. (which made me cry more) She says it was probably triggered by stress but it mostly started when she was pregnant with my uncle. Her hair started to fall out. (yet at this moment it still thing register with me to take a test)

I bring the news back home and let my partner know whats up and the days go by. I started my meds and the following week closer to end of june my partner and I discussed what they wanted to do for their birthday. Regardless of the status of our relationship we still care about each other and still were keeping to birthdays, holidays etc. I started my period again that week and my partner thought it was weird as I just finished a few weeks ago. As I mentioned having sporadic bleeding wasn't unusual for me on nexplanon so I just thought it was that. Plus I was a bit moody before so once again I made sense of it (nearly chewed my partner's head off about peeling a boiled egg)

This time I was experiencing different cramps for the days leading up to D-Day since the "period" started. At some point some where so bad they woke me up. Still thought nothing about it. These cramps had me crouching, stretching and rocking them out. It wasn't super heavy bleeding so up comes my partner's birthday, pop some pain meds and we made a day of it. It was great.

Came home later that night with a huge craving for a ham and cheese with lettuce tomato, swiss, salt and vinegar (iykyk) on a hero. I remember mentioning it and my partner making a joke on how specific the craving was because it sounded like I was pregnant. Laughing it off like yeah, no.

D-Day : The unusual period

So I wake up with the intention to have brunch outside to continue the festivities but my partner wasn't up for it. I started to make breakfast and was hit with a sharp cramp on my right/center side of pelvis. It happened a few more times. I had to grab to the counter to steady myself. Then cramps started to come in waves, consistent. I moved slow got us the breakfast and tried to search for places to go after since the weather was so great. Then the cramping, started to spread from my pelvis, to my lower back to my legs, I could barely finish eating. I couldnt get comfortable, I shifted here, there but the pain wouldnt let up dull but distracting.

I went to bathroom try and see if it was the period poops but nothing. I repositioned myself and saw some blood when I wiped and assumed I overflowed my menstrual cup. I started to feel a bit better and I take cup out and I'm met with one of the biggest clots I've ever seen come out of me. It was more of a clot than blood in the cup. Because of it's unusual size I took it out to take a photo for my doctor as I was suppose to see them anyway that week. I lay it out and I see a small lump in it.

Upon discovery the first thing that came out my mouth was "wtf is that?" I investigate the lump and see that the lump has an attachment, to a string into the larger clot. I separate it from the string and it looked like it was made of smaller string or veins. I poked it and it was hard, the color changed from trom the blood color to a flesh tone. I'm not sure if it was the shock or if it was because I bled alot or because my body expelled this and it was alot but I started get dizzy. I nearly fainted.

I document the event in video and photos and discarded everything. My partner asked me if I was okay, I told them I saw something really concerning in my clot and I don't know how to feel about it. I left it at that. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. Progressively my energy dropped so low I could barely walk. Yet, I still was unsure. With my appointment days away, I tried doing some research on my own.

Eventually, a day after I called my mother talked to her about it, shared the experience and the photos/video and she pointed out what I was most afraid of it being a miscarriage. My grandmother the same. So I dug and dug, every answer pointed towards early miscarriage. The following day I bought a pregnancy test to check and see as a lovely redditor told me pregnancy test can read even after miscarriage if you want to confirm, I cross checked with more research on my own.

I both a 2pk, went home took it and it was positive 2x. The interaction between this time and to the doctors was hard. I didn't know how to feel and the experience was terrible trying to find someone to help me sooner rather than later.

Medical Gaslighting and Discredit

When I finally got to my doctors, I found the gyno wasn't available that day so I had to push for 2 days later to see someone to make sure I was all clear internally. From the start, I was hit with skepticism about what happened. As the doctor wasn't a gyno she couldn't say much on the matter. They took my blood and urine (by that time I fully expected it to negative since the lines on my test were faint) I've already stopped bleeding by this point but am still having cramps and pain.

2 Days later I see the gyno, Im nervous as all hell when I try to explain to her immediately she starts at me. She tells me it's impossible, how it could be if I'm on birth control nexplanon. My HCG levels were 0.06 and that I wasn't pregnant. Despite me telling her about the positive at home. She wanted to draw blood again and I said no, she was obviously very annoyed with me because I said I didn't want to get poked again. The doctor that took my blood earlier was very harsh and I don't want someone who's annoyed with me drawing anything from me.

I get an ultrasound same day, it's clear with the exception of some small ovarian cyst not unusual for me. The sonographer also had a hard time trying to figure out how I could have gotten pregnant. Mind you this is well over 5 days since the miscarriage. I went back to the gyno to get the test gone over and she points out I have cysts. That I need to change my birth control because it failed and how I can change it with them or try a new birth control.

I tried to prob for answers, if it wasn't a miscarriage what was it? It's weird this has never happened to me before. She gets annoyed again as if I wasn't suppose to ask and tells me it was a cyst. I passed a cyst. That didn't sit right with me but I said okay and that I'd let them know if I want to remove my birth control here. When I looked at my chart she listed it as a dermoid cyst. A cyst that doesn't pass and needs surgical removal. I got another opinion and was told that cyst rupture they don't pass in your period.

When I went back to her and expressed what I found out during a pap smear, she was quiet and didn't say anything else in regard to it being a cyst. From that point her tone changed with me. Haven't gone back since.

Today and more understanding..

I've struggled for months wondering, asking, probbing on what happened. I thought I was crazy even though I believed me, my family believed me, friends. It felt like because they didn't discover the pregnancy that it didn't happen. If their test didn't show and confirm it I was wrong, no consideration for what I physically went through.

But my most recent visit, I went in for something else and pregnancy past and present always come up. When I mentioned it to her, she listened, she asked me questions and didn't write me off because I was on nexplanon. I even told her it made it hard to really understand what was going on because of how it was effective was, they didn't believe me yet they wanted me to change the birth control because it failed.

I asked my current gyno about the possibility of it being a cyst instead of a miscarriage/pregnancy. She told me no just as my original 2nd opinion. She calmly explained to me that whether it was you or them that took the test and it was positive, it was a early pregnancy loss. The fact that I took two and they were both positive. She made note on my chart confirming the pregnancy and the loss.

Now that it is confirmed, I feel such a weight off my head. When she said nothing is 100% certain and if mary can get pregnant without having sex, then this isn't impossible. Now I feel better, I feel like I can grieve properly and know that this happened and it wasn't all in my head.

Aside from this, smaller things I've notice that support this, my hair started growing back. I shaved it off to start fresh, but it's growing slowly but surely even in the bald spots. Now if it'll be as thick as before I dunno but next I may have to see if i need a re diagnosis for my alopecia.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Ties Between FTWD, TWB and the Maggie/Negan Spinoff?

@galadrieljones:

I saw the ask about the Maggie/Negan spin-off and I do agree, it feels like a mystery. With Hershel being abducted, I find it interesting that we have that information but literally nothing else. It makes me think they want us to connect it to what’s currently going on in Fear.

Will it be airing at the same time as Fear?

If so I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to set something up in terms of tensions between them. I’m trying to remember if there are any characters connected to Manhattan. We only know that the WB endlings have a faction in NY state, but not NYC.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Interesting! I hadn’t thought of connecting the Maggie spin-off directly to Fear, but that’s a great point! 👍🏻

I’ve thought about TWB too, as I said in the Ask. Even tho it’s NY state vs. NYC, so still think it’s a small enough area that the character paths could cross. And too much of a coincidence to think they’re not setting something up there.

After all, if Morgan could randomly stumble onto Daryl and Aaron in S5, who happened to know the exact guy he was looking for, no reason Maggie and Negan couldn’t encounter Iris and Elton. 😉 Here’s hoping! 🙏🏻

@wdway:

It's so funny guys because I've been thinking about this for the last few days and then this morning I read your ask, @twdmusicboxmystery, about TWD:DC Maggie/Negan's spin-off and plan on bring it up to you guys but other things got in the way. So this evening when I checked my phone I got excited when I saw that you guys had started to discuss it.

Surprise, surprise I have a few thoughts on the subject. The initial thing that I've been thinking about is the order in which tptb are airing the spin-offs. Earlier this week Fears final season part A air date has been moved until May 14 with 6 instead of 8 episodes which put the last episode in the first block ending on June 18th.

In the Comicbook article announcing the change date it said that Maggie/Negan spin-off TWD:DC would follow Fear in June. Since they're making a big deal about the spinoffs I can't imagine they would air Maggie and Negan's beginning episode on the same night as the last block episode of Fear so that means it would start the following Sunday on June 25th. 6 episodes would mean it would finish on July 30th.

San Diego Comic-Con this year is July the 20th through the 23rd. I tried to find some dates for panels but it only said that TWD's last Comic-Con was July of 2022.

Initially this surprised me because I cannot believe after all these years and what a big deal Comic-Con has always been that The Walking Dead Universe would not be represented. Then I realized that it is in how you ask the question and in fact the TWD original show from the comic did end and had its last Comic-Con in 2022 but since I didn't quite know how to phrase the panel question with all the different spin-offs. I don't know how they would group it together because I cannot imagine them passing up such a huge opportunity to promote the TWD universe spinoffs.

I'm going to speculate that this might be one of the reasons they push the dates back so that since Dead City will not finish its run until the 30th of July then they can still promote it during Comic-Con along with Fear and the other upcoming spinoffs.

From here on this truly is speculation but I don't believe that they would want to come back with Fear Part B directly after Dead City. That would only be a 6 week break.

We also know that the Daryl Dixon spin-off will air in 2023 so my best guess is Fear series final 6 episodes will air beginning September 3rd and end October 6th or start back on September 10th and end on October 15th.

Here's the thing I got excited about is looking at the dates. If Fear ends on the 15th that would mean that the Daryl Dixon spin-off will begin on October 22! That right 10/22!!!

Is it just me or does that date seem like a likelihood and a meaningful one? With the number 22 showing up in s5e8 Coda on a police car

and then later on a door in s1 of TWB, on the sailboat with Michonne and Virgil in s10e13 What We Become and in s11e21 Outpost, on another door in s11e23 Family in the scene where Daryl is carrying Judith who has been shot a replay of Coda.

It just seems like too much of a possible coincidence that they would not use that date for Daryl spinoff.

The other thing that I wanted to mention to you guys I do think there could be a possibility of Maggie and Negan's spin-off tying in with TWB since both spin-off's are set in NY state. It's just that I'm getting more of a vibe that Fear will give us something that will make sense or tie into the storyline of Herschel's kidnapping. We last saw Morgan and Madison searching for Morgan's daughter because she had been kidnapped. It just seems like too much of a lead in for Maggie and Negan's search for Herschel imo.

The other thing is and this is something I would love for us to discuss in more detail is how they left Al and her partner Isobel. They left the audience with the fact that they were in the Smoky Mountains and we know that Maggie was in the Knoxville area which is near the foothills of the Smoky Mountains. There again it seems to be a natural lead in to the people who are targeting Maggie.

Just a few more things for thought.

One more 22 that I forgot to add to the above list. Series episode 22 was s3e3 Walk With Me. The episode where we find out that Merle and Andrea are still alive.

@galadrieljones:

I love all the date speculation. I really enjoy thinking about how these disparate pieces are going to come together in small but potent ways. I feel strongly too that what we learn in Fear must inform Maggie and Negan’s search for Hershel. There’s no way that what’s happening with Morgan isn’t on a crash course for what’s about to happen to Hershel.

The thing about Madison’s return is, that even tho I don’t love her character, her role is pretty compelling. All this stuff with kidnapped kids, and how it subtly informs situations, barely hinted at the flagship, it makes me excited for how it connects to Beth, as the nanny, the caretaker.

The episode Inmates always comes to mind, how her only goal is to find the children. At the end of Too Far Gone, the reason she isn’t on the bus and ends up with Daryl in the first place is because she bravely went back for the kids. It’s her first true heroic attempt, even as she is not successful.

It’s part of why I always compare her to the Biblical Rachel, who was the farmer Laban’s youngest daughter, beautiful, and who struggled to have her own children but who was a great maternal protector of her ppl. It really makes the Jacob/Daryl and Leah in disguise thing sing for me.

I mean Rick is the most important character in the franchise and Beth took care of his children. She was like part of his family. She was a quietly important character.

Also, I’m glad you brought up Al and Isobel. Remember too how Denis from WB told a story about his partner early on when he was a soldier in the CRM going awol in the Smokies. I remember doing the math on the coordinates for Isobel’s cabin and determining that it was only about 30mi from Knoxville.

This makes the Smokies a legit mention in all three shows. Maggie pinpoints her time in Knoxville to a couple summers ago, which could be a nod to the time difference with Fear.

I am purely speculating that possibly Al and Isobel were in hiding in Maggie’s community, which was then targeted by the CRM, as you suggested. We’ve also speculated that possibly Georgie has a CRM bounty on her head, or is some sort of CRM escapee. We know from WB that the CRM uses walkers to end their threats.

If this is the case, Maggie would just think a horde moved through. She wouldn’t know it was the CRM. It would just seem like things keep going wrong. Maybe Al and Isobel stay with them and move from place to place with them. Maybe they don’t even realize it’s the CRM at first, until whatever happened before Meridian. Then they take off. Maggie never mentions Al or Isobel, but we know she lost a lot of ppl. She might just assume they’re dead. Or maybe they went with Georgie out west.

This is why I feel we may see the Reapers again. Why they gave us that purposeful zoom into Michael Turner’s face. Maybe the Reapers were bounty hunters for the CRM for a time. Per the timeline it’s feasible that Leah was with Daryl when Knoxville went down, which is why she goes easier on her in some ways.

Remember too there’s this weird tension with Maggie and Michael Turner. He is the guy wearing the super classic reaper mask. He has it in for her specifically and follows her into the mall.

There’s tons of focus on him as the guy who throws his scythe at her at the end of that bizarre opening sequence in Hunted. Maybe (and this is huge speculation lol) he will reappear at some point, in a flashback, or in Fear as pertaining to Al and Isobel, and that’s why they were so certain to show us a close-up of his face in Rendition.

I spent a long time trying to find out who the actor is who plays Michael Turner and I could never find anything. Wonder why!

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Love all the discussion, Ladies! One thing I think TD has always been really good at is figuring out the logic of how/why tptb would do a thing. I honestly think that's why we're right so often. After all the stuff about kids being taken, how could Dead City NOT be about that, you know? And I think all your logic above is on point. 👍

@wdway:

The long ramble that I did about the possible air dates for Fear and Daryl Dixon spin-off I feel should be combined with what I wrote you @twdmusicboxmystery, in a comment for an "ask" posted the other day about my theory of why they bumped Rick and Michonne's spin-off until 2024.

A large part of the general audience doesn't seem to be able to make connections of how these spin-off's will all tie together to lead into a bigger story of a war with the CRM. I get why a lot of people cannot see this coming because for whatever reason they have not watched Fear since Morgan moved over to that series to slowly lay out over several seasons the storyline of the introduction of the CRM in the TWD Universe.

Even though The World Beyond was billed as a closer look into the CRM many viewers couldn't get pass the storyline featuring 4 inexperienced teenagers on a quest to New York to the Civic Republic Scientific Research community. They had little patience for the teenagers and what on the surface didn't seem to relate to the faster more action packed original TWD series.

My belief is that all of the spin-off's will eventually merge together into a new non-comic book based series. TWD Part 2 or TWD the Last Act. Whatever they decide to call it it'll be a continuation of the story after the end of the comic era with many of the characters from the original series that are not included in the upcoming spin-off's.

From Facebook:

Here's my theory about them pushing the Rick and Michonne spin off until '24.

First I agree what you said about wanting to focus the big story for 2023 being the Daryl/Beth storyline. The word epic has been thrown around a lot for both spin-off's so I don't think they want to put them necessarily back to back. I believe they want to establish or keep that fall Walking Dead series air timeline. You have people who have come so accustomed to having TWD during October and November and it is not a wise move to leave it open to movies or something random and people get used to looking at other networks during that time period.

Here's the real reason I think R/M spin-off has been moved to next year. The R/M spin-off should be able to finish their filming by late spring so they will have time to edit it and then it will air probably in February of "24 when TWD would normally have their second half of their season.

So they would be keeping their fall and winter TWD programming format. And this is where I think the long range plan is being set in place coming the fall of '24 we will have the spin offs coming together for the new series with the return of of many of others characters that are still at the CW/AZ.

I think a lot of the actors will have a nice break from after their spinoffs are done and the new series comes together. They can go and do their individual other jobs and still come back for a new revamped TWD that will have all the beloved characters that are still alive and will not have to work from the comic book. The things that people were so weary of having new characters without enough air time to care about them will no longer be an issue. I'm sure it will be a good size cast but not overly so. Filming for the new revamped TWD series would probably start next spring of 2024 and air that fall.

@galadrieljones:

All really good points, @wdway. It’s so easy to forget how much of the CRM undercurrent has been just outright missed by the GA. Even I initially dismissed WB till you all suggested I should watch it. It’s not the type of show I would normally watch, but I wanted to watch it just to understand the foundation of what was going on. So like are there ppl who saw that Rick coda and were just completely confused, or…?

[beinfriends]

( Alright, pretty sure I've basically collected everybody in the Mother RPC at this point, so looks like it's time for me to say... hello! I'm Rabbit, or better known as Psy in this community (which you can see I continue to go by... because I am too fucking lazy to redo my promo assets. But I still really do just use Psy still.), and I was in the Mother RPC previously from 2018-2021 (I think? or 2020, I don't really remember) and wound up leaving due to mental health reasons, but recently I randomly got the urge to come back, so here I am with a remade blog. I was previously twinsmily, pigmonarch/allhailkingp, and beinfriends, a blog I have since moved from in order to make this blog.

I've added a lot of muses since the previous iteration of this blog. I feel like I should warn people, even if you knew me prior to rejoining (i.e. Neg and Star. hi btw) that my muse priorities have shifted quite a bit, although Lucas/Claus/Porky are still main muses for me. I replayed Mother 3 last June and got really into the Tazmily villagers for some reason, hence why I added all of them to my muse roster. If you remember the original version of this blog, my list was like <10 muses. We're at 50 now, and I didn't even list everybody.

As to why this even happened... I was playing chapter 3 and read Paul's text during the scene where Fassad tries to get everyone to pick up Happy Boxes and he said "I don't need happiness. It's standing right next to me." and I just really admired his wifeguy-ness... I thought that was so cute, since I'd never really thought about him before. And then my brain decided I liked literally all of them so here we are.

As mentioned in my rules, I did recommend the worldbuilding page + considering reading my fic recs per each character, but overall, I feel I should plug this directly. If you're interested in seeing the Tazmily that I have built in excruciating detail, consider giving A Change of Heart a read. The fic is about Leder telling everyone the truth about their past and everyone being forced to reckon with their trauma and memories.

Up front, it's 200,000 words. But it's a fic I wrote over the course of 5 months last year and is a huge basis for how my Tazmily now functions. The main verse of this blog is directly tied to this fic. Per my timeline, the final events of ACOH concluded one year prior to the events of this blog. BUT it's okay, I do not expect you to know all this shit. I will tell you things as necessary, I just thought I could cut out the middleman a bit is all.

What do you need to know about the default universe of this blog? Here's a few simple things to make it clearer:

The events of Mother 3 concluded 4 years ago.

ALL Tazmily villagers have regained their full memories of the past. The story is generally gone, though people didn't abandon their roles/jobs.

Tazmily has been rebuilt in the old style, but the world is a mix of old and new; people still use DP, but bartering has come back in a major way in terms of doing business.

There are multiple new settlements to account for all the New Porkers.

In all, it's pretty simple, but again, highly recommend you check out my worldbuilding page for a more in-depth rundown of the world, but still shorter than a 200,000 word fic lol. I still have some stuff I wanna add, but I got a lot of it done yesterday.

Also, I have a lot of posts queued from my personal about villager lines, or edits I made, so on, so expect to see those posts in the coming days. I have chronicled a vast majority of lines you can possibly see the villagers say. I got plenty o' lines you've probably never seen. There's only a handful of lines I cannot find, and am assuming went unused. So yeah, enjoy that!! It'll be your crash course on the villagers if you, like everybody (including past me), know very little about the villagers. I look forward to it.

This blog may or may not wind up being low activity, but it remains to be seen. I start my new job today, so I'll see how the work-life balance is. Bios are still a WIP. As I said yesterday, I have 19/50 completed. I will hopefully do the secondary bio batch soon, but probably not today, and probably not tomorrow, because work. But everyone in the main tier has a bio, so check 'em out!

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope I get to know all of you better in the coming days and weeks! Starter call will come after this post for everyone. See ya soon! )

[sweetxvertigo]

2022 was… a year.

Putting this under a Read More because I wrote quite a bit haha.

I don't know if it was a good one or not. It definitely had a lot of ups and downs.

January 1st I went back to streaming 1st after taking about 6 months off due to burnout.

In February I had definitely the best birthday I've ever had though. I played an acoustic stream on twitch and a bunch of my close friends showed up at my house mid-stream with gifts + taco bell and it was just the absolute best. I don't know if any future birthday will surpass that. I'm so thankful that I have such incredible friends.

In March I quit my band of over 10 years. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I did it for many reasons. I did it because I was frustrated with things within the band that I knew would never change. I did it because I wasn't totally feeling the direction we were going musically. And the big thing, was I wanted to try and really focus on getting my shit together this year. I really fumbled the ball on that last one. My last show was a really good time however. So many of my friends came out from different states and that I'd met playing music over the years which meant so fucking much to me. I was fully expecting to not be able to play the set without bawling my eyes out. Music has been my passion since I was 16, and giving up on it, even temporarily, was not an easy choice. I ended up being more angry during our set however because the sound person didn't route like any of my guitar through my in-ear monitors so I pretty much had to wing it. I wish I could have a do-over of that last show but oh well. A few days after that show a friend of like 7 years randomly messaged me telling me that we were no longer compatible as friends and then blocked me on all social media and to not contact them again. Definitely a kick in the teeth after an emotional weekend, but whatever.

In April I got to meet the singer of one of my favorite bands, The Wonder Years and show him my typography project based on their song Oldest Daughter which he thought was really cool. Ended up getting covid at that show, but thankfully it only felt like having a cold. I had a mild panic attack for a few days when I found out I had it AFTER making out with somebody and worrying that I gave it to them / their family, which it turned out I didn't somehow?

In May I went to my first concert since the pandemic started and it was to see The Menzingers, who are like a top 3 all time favorite band for me now. What a cathartic show it was to be able to scream along to their songs for over an hour.

The first day in June I woke up to the news that a friend, not one I was particularly close to but one that I enjoyed being around and got to bond over Coheed with a few years prior had passed away. It's so weird losing someone around the same age as you. I saw one of my best friends get married to the love of her life and got to celebrate it with all of my close friends. I went to a few more shows, mainly to see You Me And Everyone We Know.

I don't remember much about July. I remember being extremely stressed out about a lot of things. I did get to hang out with my friend from CT a few times which was cool though.

August was the last time I streamed until a one-off in September. I don't think I'll ever be the streamer I once was again, and that's fine. I broke things off with the person I was seeing. Oh and at the end of the month was when I made that bootleg MCR shirt that sold over 1100 copies? Wild.

In September I went up to NYC with a couple friends to visit one of my best friends from highschool that I haven't hung out with much in about 10 years. I went to my first burlesque show and got to see a really hot goth clown staple pages of the bible to her body. Went to at least another YMAEWK show, and obsessed over the new Wonder Years album.

Speaking of The Wonder Years, in October I got to see them and Fireworks twice. Some of the best shows I've ever been to, hands down. One of my favorite local musicians started releasing new music after like 7 years which was really awesome. I also got to take some cool engagement photos for a friend. At the end of the month I got to meet a bunch of cool online friends in person that I've grown closer to over the last year.

In November I got drunk for the first time at a friend's halloween party which was fun. The next day I got to see The Menzingers for the 2nd time this year, this time playing the album that got me into them in full and I got to be like 3rd row the entire set. I got to see a few of my friends play at the First Unitarian Church in Philly for the first which is so cool after seeing so many of my favorite bands there before. I ended the month seeing The Spill Canvas playing "No Really, I'm Fine" in its entirety which was such a wildly inspirational album to me back in the day.

And now we're in December. I started off the month by going up to CT for the weekend with my friend from NYC to visit another friend of ours we knew through twitch. We had a lot of soups that weekend. It was a good time. Had a friends Christmas get-together last week with was a lot of fun. I do feel bad that I couldn't get everyone gifts / didn't spend a lot but I'm glad that I got to see my friends and give most of them something. Honestly besides those things, this month flew by.

But here we are, less than 24 hours from 2023 and I don't feel any more accomplished than I did at the beginning of the year. I thought I was going to make moves this year and yet I couldn't get my brain to cooperate with me long enough to take the motivation I had to make any sort of strides towards reaching my goals. I've been super in my head this past week over stuff like that as well as other stupid things that have been sending my anxiety to wild levels. I did have a lot of good experiences this year though, along with the bad. I lost some friends, but I also gained some others. Maybe next year will be better over all.

[fuuka-preg-blog]

My First Blog Post

Date: Sunday, June 14th, 2009 Hi Tumblr! To be honest, I've been sitting at my computer for about 20 minutes trying to think of how to start this blog. I don't expect to see much traffic here (if any at all). I wouldn't normally write a blog in the first place, but my counselor told me that having a journal would help me process things. One of my friends suggested using a blog for journal entries, so, here I am!

I think I'll just get to the point. I'm creating this blog because of something I'm currently going through. Calling my situation "life-changing" would honestly be an understatement.

I guess I'll start in the beginning. A few weeks after I started 11th grade last April, I could tell something wasn't right. I started every morning feeling sick to my stomach. I felt ridiculously hungry, but I'd get severe heartburn and other discomforts after eating, enough to make me lose a lot of sleep. I was getting really bad brain fog, enough so I could barely pay attention during class. My school uniform was also getting tighter around my waist. I could've sworn I was even getting cravings.

I... spent some time with my ex-boyfriend during the break between 10th and 11th grade. I don't want to go into detail, but I always made sure to use protection. But these symptoms could only mean one thing.

It took a while, but I finally got myself to take a pregnancy test. I think I took more than ten separate tests. I didn't want it to be true. But every single test was positive.

I was pregnant.

I went to school every day feeling petrified. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. My parents would disown me if my grades weren't good enough for them, who knows what they'd do if they learned their teenage daughter got knocked up by a boyfriend they never knew about. Not only that, I'm the shortest and skinniest girl in my grade. Some girls in my class have thighs wider than my waist. I'd love to be a parent someday, sure, but I'm only sixteen and I don't graduate high school for two more years. I don't feel mentally or physically prepared to be a mom.

The next couple weeks of high school were a total blur. I was only about six weeks pregnant, but somehow my belly was already sticking out a bit. I thought it was just bloating at first, but it never went away, it only grew. Even though it was already May, I had to wear a loose jacket so nobody would see my stomach. The morning sickness also got worse, I'd still be nauseous by the time class started. I started showing up at school early just so there would be less people around in case I needed to throw up.

...I just realized it's probably not fun to read that last part. Sorry! To be honest, though, I feel a lot better getting this off my chest. I promise the rest of the post won't be as depressing, a lot of nice things happened too!

This was just about when I met my friend, Yukari. I didn't know her very well at the time, I knew she was in my grade, she was pretty, and popular enough for me to know her name even though she wasn't in the same class as me.

Apparently, she was in the archery club, so she would sometimes come to school before class to practice. She later told me she'd been hearing me in the girls' bathroom for several days before going in and checking it out.

To be honest, I was terrified when I heard Yukari knock on the bathroom stall and ask if I was okay. I considered her as one of the last people I'd want to learn about my situation. She's such a social butterfly that the news would have spread like wildfire. Thankfully, I was wrong about that.

As soon as I came out of the bathroom stall, she asked what was wrong. I had no idea what to tell her, but Yukari only took one look at me and figured it out on her own. A girl throws up every morning without fail. She wears a loose jacket to school in May. She has bags under her eyes, looks like she hasn't slept in days. And when asked "are you okay?", she's too scared to tell the truth. I must have been so gross, I was sweaty and I probably smelled like barf, but Yukari just smiled and pulled me into a hug. I won't lie, I started bawling like a baby into her shirt. Nobody had ever been so nice to me before. Yukari just held me tight, she told me she wanted to help, everything would be okay. I cried even harder hearing her say that. I'm actually crying a little bit right now remembering this.

I remember meeting up with Yukari after school, she took me to the pharmacy in Paulownia Mall and bought me some medicine to help with my symptoms. For the first time in weeks, I stopped feeling nauseous and I could actually think straight.

We sat down together to figure out what I should do. Yukari mentioned that she lives in the dorms with the student council president, Mitsuru Kirijo. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to tell the daughter of the school's owner that one of the students got knocked up, but Yukari told me she was sure Kirijo-senpai would know what to do.

When I met with Kirijo-senpai the next day in student council room, I was prepared to hear that I'd be expelled or suspended, that a pregnant student would damage the school's reputation. But instead, Kirijo-senpai handed me some printouts and calmly listed out accommodations available to me. She went over different nutritionists, physical therapists, and even pregnancy-focused massage parlors. She offered to accompany me to any of them, saying they would offer the best treatment possible if a member of the Kirijo family was with me. I couldn't help but cry a little bit again, I wasn't expecting that kind of support. I started to feel like things would work out.

That didn't last long, though. The day after I talked to Kirijo-senpai was the worst day of my life.

On the morning after my talk with Kirijo-senpai, instead of my alarm clock, I woke up to my mother screaming at me and yanking my bedsheets away. I had overslept for the first time in my whole life. But I soon discovered that was the least of my problems.

The night before, I noticed my midsection was poking out so much that my jacket could only barely cover it up. But when my mother yanked the covers away, I couldn't believe what I saw when I looked down.

My belly looked like it doubled in size overnight. My womb was about the size of a golf ball last night, and now it was almost as big as a baseball.

My mother screamed at me, my father overheard and joined in. For fifteen long minutes, they shamed and berated me, calling me lots of horrible four and five letter words. When they were done, I had tears streaming down my face. Before they walked out of my room, they told me to get dressed and go to school. But once I leave, I'll never be allowed back into this house.

I packed my school bag full of anything I wanted to keep. I knew whatever I didn't take with me would end up thrown away. I couldn't stop crying. I was terrified, but I was also furious. I cursed my small, skinny body, This belly wouldn't be so noticeable if I wasn't so scrawny. If I had a body like Yukari's, I wouldn't show this much for at least another month or two.

My eyes were still red from crying by the time Yukari met up with me on the way to school. She noticed my coat couldn't hide my pregnant belly anymore. Once again, I didn't need to say a word.

When Kirijo-senpai heard what happened, she got Yukari to take me to her dorm room to let me get some rest. I was about to protest, afraid to impose, but then I realized how heavy my eyes were. I had been putting up with these early pregnancy symptoms for a full month. I couldn't remember the last time I'd gotten a good night's sleep. Maybe talking with Yukari and Kirijo-senpai helped me relax, so I was far less anxious than usual when I went to sleep last night. Maybe that knocked me out hard enough for me to sleep through my alarm.

I remember Yukari gently guiding me to her bed, then waking up twelve hours later. I didn't even remember laying down. When Yukari told me it was already evening, I still felt like I was ready to go back to sleep.

Kirijo-senpai was waiting for us in the lounge. She told me that we needed to discuss some things, but first, she sat me down at the table and brought out an enormous plate of food. Normally, I try my best to eat politely, but I was so hungry that I didn't even care.

After dinner, they led me to one of the dorm rooms, and when they opened the door, I couldn't believe what I saw. All my belongings were waiting right there for me. Kirijo-senpai told me it didn't take much to convince my parents to part with all my belongings. I couldn't stop myself from crying again, I was so grateful for their help.

I took the next day off from school to get more rest. I spent the whole day thinking about how I won't be able to hide my pregnancy at school anymore. The next day, I felt a lot better, but I didn't feel ready to come to school. I told Yukari that I wasn't sure how to tell everyone I was pregnant. She told me not to worry, she'd be right there with me whenever I feel ready to make the announcement.

I decided to show up at school around lunchtime. I sent Yukari a text let her know I was coming. I couldn't stop thinking about what to say to everyone, I felt like no matter how I phrased it, I probably wouldn't get a great reaction.

But when I arrived at my classroom, I saw something I couldn't have possibly imagined.

"SURPRISE!"

The classroom was decorated, complete with balloons and banners reading "Congratulations!". The chalkboard was covered with little notes of encouragement, and a few cute doodles of baby stuff like cribs and pacifiers. I saw Yukari smiling over at me from the other side of the classroom, she wasn't even in my class, but she still went out of her way to organize this for me.

I cried, again. But this time I was smiling while I cried. I'd never felt so happy before.

Everyone in my class started being really nice, they asked if I've thought of any names for the baby, if it's a boy or a girl, when the baby's due, all kinds of things like that. Yukari was worried I'd be overwhelmed, but I didn't mind at all.

Also, while I was absent, Kirijo-senpai apparently called an entire assembly about me. Yukari had seen people bullying me before, and told Kirijo-senpai about that. Things could get out of hand if they didn't act quickly. I was told that Kirijo-senpai said something along the lines of: "Sometimes, accidents happen. And when they do, our school will strive to support and accommodate our fellow students on their path to success."

Also, I'm not 100% sure, but I heard someone say she ended the assembly with her signature dagger-like glare, saying "Any reports of discrimination or harassment against Yamagishi will treated with a zero-tolerance policy." I feel very lucky to be on Kirijo-senpai's good side.

To be honest, I felt embarrassed she went to all that trouble, and I still kinda do. I told Yukari I don't feel worthy of that much effort, but according to her, Kirijo-senpai had her eye on me since long before we met the other day. I only kept my grades up because of my parents, but she still "sees great potential" in me after seeing how high my grades have been since middle school. She even brought up the projects I submitted back when I was a member of the computer club in middle school. It's hard for me to believe what she says, I still don't feel like I'm anything special. But I feel grateful to have friends like Yukari around to help me convince myself otherwise.

Oh, that reminds me! After the surprise party, Natsuki-chan just walked up to me and started being nice to me! It was a bit of a shock, up until now she would always poke fun at me and call me names, but now she wants to take me out shopping for "baby bump outfits" sometime! Apparently, I'm not the first pregnant teen she'd be spending time with, so she knows a thing or two about what would look good on me. Also, she's the one who told me to write this blog in the first place!

Whew, that's a lot of text. I'm surprised Tumblr lets you write this much for a single post. If you're still reading, thank you! I only have a few more things to write, but trust me when I say that nothing I've written so far can compare to what happened next.

I started feeling much better after the surprise party, but I could still feel something was a bit off, specifically that growth spurt. I felt like my belly was a lot bigger than it should have been, even on my scrawny body. I brought this up with Kirijo-senpai about two weeks ago, and she took me to get looked at.

After measuring me, they told me that I'm definitely larger than expected given the estimated time of conception. I told them about the fatigue and the morning sickness, and they said my symptoms were significantly worse than they should have been.

These were all indications of a multiple pregnancy.

At the time, I never even gave it a second thought. Every pregnancy is different, so I assumed this was nothing but a false positive. I also read online that Japan has a lower twinning rate than most other countries. Plus, I'm only sixteen. The chances of me having twins would have to be at least one in a billion.

I thought about this through the week of school, until Kirijo-senpai brought me in to get an ultrasound last weekend.

I remember feeling really nervous. I couldn't see the monitor well, there were multiple technicians whispering to each other. I felt a pit in my stomach. Something wasn't right.

When they turned around, they looked like they saw a ghost.

They found three babies in my womb. I was having triplets.

Not even twins. Triplets.

Remember in the beginning of this blog entry, when I said calling my situation "life-changing" was an understatement? This is what I meant. I said earlier that it was a one in a billion chance for me to have twins. A triplet pregnancy must have been one in a trillion.

Kirijo-senpai refused to accept what she heard. She made the technicians check again, and again. After hearing the same answer for the tenth time, it had to sink in. The impossible somehow became possible.

Everyone at the clinic was trying to smile and congratulate me, but as soon as I came home, I cried into Yukari's arms. This was not good news. A singleton pregnancy would already strain my scrawny little body. There was absolutely no way I'd be able to successfully carry and deliver triplets.

At least, that's what I thought.

I woke up the next morning to Kirijo-senpai knocking at my door, telling me I won't be attending class that day. She had bags under her eyes as she told me she had a car waiting for me outside. She was up all night scoping out the best medical professionals in the area. From morning until evening, we drove to several different universities and advanced medical centers. Kirijo-senpai was able to force herself into their busy schedules for my sake.

I honestly didn't expect to hear any good news, but with each successive appointment, I felt my spirits lifting a little. Kirijo-senpai feverishly wrote down notes during each appointment. They found reports of pregnancies similar to mine, and use any available historical data to determine the best treatment for me.

Kirijo-senpai's notes spanned dozens of pages, writing down details on nutritional intake and exercises, or anything that can help me grow three entire babies.

But one of the proposals stood out more than the rest. A cutting-edge, experimental stimulant to increase litter size for mammals. This treatment invokes "increased ovulation" and "rapid and adaptive cell production in the uterus walls". This enables the mother's womb to expand beyond its typical limit, and results in litters that are double or even triple the expected size.

This treatment was sponsored by American beef and pork distributors and had been in progress since 2004. Within the past year, they were able to reach a 100% success rate in lab rats, and recently achieved the same with cows and pigs.

At its current point in development, it could be sold for billions, but the team wanted to see if their infusion could benefit in the medical field.

Normally, the infusion is applied before conception, but there have been cases where they discover the subject was already pregnant during the infusion. Even without the increased litter count, the subject's uterus expanded beyond its typical limit, resulting in longer pregnancies and larger babies. The team decided the next step in this direction was to observe primates with this infusion. All twelve subjects experienced slightly longer but noticeably more comfortable pregnancies, and delivered big healthy babies.

Kirijo-senpai and I saw where this was going. This could completely turn the tide for my situation, plus any future pregnancies similar to mine.

I received the offer to participate as their first human test subject. I won't lie, I didn't even hesitate, I agreed immediately. I'm a huge nerd for cutting-edge scientific experiments like this, so I was feeling giddy at the thought of being able to participate.

Of course, Kirijo-senpai was concerned about potential risks. The research team emphasized that I had no obligation to participate, but if I wanted to proceed, it would need to be as soon as possible, two weeks at most.

I thought about it for a long time since then. I'm not as much of an optimist as Yukari and some of the experts I talked to. I think that infusion is my only real chance at getting through this pregnancy. It's not fun to think about, but whether or not I follow the diet and exercise instructions from those experts, it would only result in my triplets being born slightly less prematurely. The chances of survival for my triplets, and maybe even for myself, would still be pretty low. I'll definitely think about it some more, but I feel like the infusion is my only real option here.

Sorry! I just realized this got all gloomy again. It's almost been a full week that Monday full of appointments, Yukari and Kirijo-senpai have been helping me get the hang of those diet and exercise plans. Also, the nutritionists told me that as long as I get the nutrients they laid out, I could eat as much of anything I wanted otherwise. My parents never took me out to eat, and I'd never tried fast food before, so Kirijo-senpai just handed Yukari a credit card and told her to make sure I'm eating well. I've been to lots of different restaurants in the past few days, and all of them have been amazing. Yukari says I eat a lot for a girl my size, but that's because I'm "eating for four now". It's a little embarrassing when she says that, but I also kinda like hearing it. Maybe it's my maternal instincts kicking in.

I've also been going out with Natsuki and her friends after school. She's been taking me to lots of different clothing stores and picking out all kinds of maternity clothes for me. She's really sweet. She doesn't know about the triplets yet, Yukari and Kirijo-senpai are the only ones who know. I'm thinking I'll tell everyone about the triplets after I make the decision about the infusion.

...wow, that was a lot. I doubt anybody read this all the way to here. But, if you're reading this, thank you!

Kirijo-senpai is taking me in for another checkup later today, then we're getting dinner. I'm guessing she wants to discuss the treatment. I'll write more posts as I go. Bye!

[renjunphile]

offside | lee donghyuck / haechan

⇢ word count: 16.5k ⇢ pairing: nct's lee donghyuck / haechan x female reader ⇢ tags: football!au, fluff, angst if you squint, summer romance!au ⇢ synopsis: lee donghyuck was one of south korea's brightest prospects coming into the 2018 world cup, up until a season-ending injury just days before their training camp wiped him out. you were a sports medicine and physiotherapy student excited for your summer with NCT FC, but what caught you off guard was being assigned to every step of lee donghyuck's journey to recovery.   ⇢ note: this fic is a long one that means a lot to me. before getting into kpop, i was a football fan and wrote many fics for footballers. i stopped watching and writing about football once i got into kpop, but i started this fic around 2019 and wrote maybe 5-6k before giving up and letting it sit there for 2 years. i picked it back up during the euros and i definitely did not expect for it to stretch this long. however, i lost my momentum around the end which is why there's a lot of time skips and jumps, but i really just wanted to wrap it up and give it an ending and send it out into the world. this is really more of a fic for myself, but if you would love to read it, then please go ahead and let me know your thoughts. there's also a lot of football-specific content, but i hope i explained some things. if you're confused about anything or have any feedback, please don't hesitate to message me!

INFORMATION THAT MAY BE USEFUL TO NON FOOTBALL FANS: - The World Cup happens every 4 years and in 2018, it was held in Russia - South Korea was in a group with Sweden, Mexico and Germany and pulled a shock victory over Germany, who were the winners of 2014's World Cup so, after the group stages of the tournament, Germany didn't even make it to knockouts. Neither did Korea but I mayyy change the results! - The World Cup itself lasts for about a month! But national teams train at training camps for weeks beforehand, often playing 'friendly' games with other teams (they're not friendly, they just don't count to anything) - It's quite unusual for young players to be part of the 11 that regularly plays in a team unless they're incredible - the seasoned veterans are left the task and the young players are just taken for 'experience'. Teams take 23 men to the World Cup but maybe 16 of them get regular playing time - An ACL tear is an anterior cruciate ligament injury, which affects the knee. It's one of the worst injuries a player can get and they may never truly return to the form they were in before the injury. Recovery is like 6 months or more. Typically, it takes about 1-2 years for full recovery, but football players typically take 7-12 months out ;-; Also, not all players need or choose to have surgery and they definitely do not have surgery as soon as the injury is sustained (at least a few days/weeks after to reduce swelling and can even be done after months) but for the sake of this, I chose not to follow that. - Also the Korean top division league season doesn't follow the typical European dates, but I wrote this story as if the K-league followed the usual August-May/June dates that gave the summer for the World Cup/tournaments/breaks/training

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SET IN 2018, AGED 18

Donghyuck doesn't really remember too much from when it happened. He doesn't even really remember how it happened. One moment, he was juggling the world at his feet, eyes up, looking for his teammates, and the next? He was on the floor, able to recognise only 1 feeling: pain.

Later on, he'd be able to watch in full HD how a fight broke out immediately after, as his teammates tried to gang up on the opponent who caused him harm. He'd be able to watch as his best friend, Mark Lee, was given a red card for pushing and shoving the one who tackled Donghyuck far too violently, and he'd be able to watch how his team lost that game. It didn't matter; his team had already won the league. But the consequences of Donghyuck's injury went deeper than a lost game.

There are a few flashes he can remember- a few spots of light in the darkness that engulfed him. Donghyuck could remember how his captain, Yuta, migrated instantly to his side, leaving it to the vice-captain, and all-around giant, Johnny, to break up the fight that ensued.

He could remember how Yuta's usually hard game-day gaze melted in empathy as he examined Donghyuck's legs and met his eyes. Donghyuck could remember Yuta asking him what kind of injury it felt like, and when Donghyuck was too frozen to reply, Yuta sighed, patted his shin guard and beckoned for the paramedics to come faster.

He was stretchered out from the field alongside Mark hanging his head in shame for instigating the fight, but much later on, this picture on the TV would erupt a smile from Donghyuck and Mark alike.

It was an ACL tear. One of the worst injuries a football player could get.

Donghyuck vividly remembers this one moment as he was carted off in an ambulance to the nearest hospital. The game was still going, but Donghyuck was collapsed in the back of an ambulance, listening as the team's physiotherapist predicted the verdict.

"Don't be so down, Donghyuck. You won't miss much of next season since we just ended this season. You've got the whole summer to recover," Donhyuck noticed the way that his physiotherapist worded his phrases.

"A whole summer, in Korea, and not in Russia," the sound of his heart shattering pierced through the ambulance sirens.

"I'm really sorry, Hyuck," his physiotherapist squeezed his hand as more tears squeezed out of Donghyuck's eyes.

-

Mark Lee was the first to visit Donghyuck in the hospital when the team was given the green light to visit. The whole of NCT FC sat down at their training grounds that morning and devised a schedule for when everyone could visit Donghyuck so that he wasn't too overwhelmed with visitors. Of course, his best friend, Mark Lee, was at the top of the list.

"How're you doing, Hyuck?" Mark asked gently, placing the bouquet of sunflowers on a table near the window of the hospital suite. He also placed Donghyuck's favourite chocolate bar on the bedside table.

"Fine," Donghyuck murmured, "Shouldn't you be on a plane to Austria?

Mark gives him another smile, "Head Coach Shin gave us an extra 2 days to get there. He told me yesterday he'd call soon."

"He already has," Donghyuck states.

Mark bites his lip in contemplation as to whether he should even ask, "Oh yeah? What'd he say?"

"He says he feels sorry that I couldn't make it to the World Cup this summer and that he wishes I could have since he was excited to utilise me. He told me that next time-" Hyuck pauses as his words get clogged up in his throat, "Next time, I'll lead Korea into glory."

"And you will, Hyuck," Mark pats his leg, "I'm really sorry you can't make it there with us. I guess the world isn't ready for you yet. The European and South Americans can have their final chance to gain victory since next time, you'll win the tournament by yourself with your free kicks alone!"

"Mark, stop," Donghyuck's voice wavered, "I appreciate it, but God, Mark- it hurts. We're supposed to do this together. You and me. We joined the academy together, we broke into the professional team together, we broke into the first team together and we were meant to be going to Russia together. Coach said he wanted to use me for the team. That I was in his first 11 plans. Do you know how rare that is, Mark? For an 18-year-old to be playing regular minutes at the World Cup?"

"I know, Hyuck, I know Hyuck, and I'm sorry we can't go to Russia together," Mark decided to shorten his words, not wanting to upset the boy more and instead just be with him.

Donghyuck pressed his lips together and looked away from Mark, "Tell everyone to dedicate their goals to me, okay?"

A small grin had begun to grow upon Mark's face, who ruffled Donghyuck's head in affection, "And every tackle too."

"Every yellow and red card too," Mark beamed.

Donghyuck scoffed, folding his arms, "Maybe yellow but I'm not gonna be responsible for Doyoung's anger issues."

Kim Doyoung was one of the elder members of the team, one of a group who had practically raised Donghyuck, Mark and the rest of the younger players. Although Doyoung was incredibly sweet, mature and kind with a tendency to adopt the mother role in the squad, the minute an opposition did something wrong by him, he transformed into a completely different person as a means of defence.

Mark stayed for a few hours longer, not saying too much and definitely not talking about the impending World Cup. He left at night, citing that he had some important thing to do, but Hyuck knew he was just last-minute packing for Russia, unlike Hyuck who had packed for the World Cup weeks ago and yet would never use the suitcases in the corner of his bedroom.

The next day, his teammates that were on the South Korean National Team visited. All of them packed into a room and made Donghyuck feel a little bit lighter. They themselves didn't mention the World Cup once and instead chose to relive their worst injuries just to brighten Donghyuck's mindset, which was of one thinking his career was over. Johnny and Taeil had both suffered ACL tears too, and they were playing perfectly fine and Doyoung had had surgery before and he too was playing amazing. At some point, Taeyong and Jungwoo FaceTimed Hyuck from Jaehyun's phone in the room and Hyuck had to pretend to miss the Austrian mountains behind their faces from the training camp before Russia.

Taeyong and Jungwoo were ex-NCT FC players, who had ventured out of the continent to play for top-class teams. Taeyong was NCT FC's ex-captain who had just ended his first season abroad at Real Madrid in Spain and felt terrible about how the boy he had practically raised couldn't make it to Russia (there were a lot of tears for a few minutes) and Jungwoo was a good friend he made in the reserve team who was one of the star players for Chelsea, in England.

The day after that, his team captain Yuta visited with their Chinese teammates of Kun, Lucas, Ten and WinWin. Yuta wasn't due to Japan's training camp for another day, while the Chinese National Team didn't qualify for the World Cup. At least he wasn't going to be all alone in Seoul for the summer. They gave him a lot of motivational talks and made him promise not to give up on his World Cup dream.

Then, his other best friends visited. Chenle, Jisung and Jeno were all on the B-team for NCT FC, which was understandable since they were young with Jisung even only being 16. Jaemin and Renjun were ex-academy players for NCT FC and were scouted to play for Borussia Dortmund in Germany, where they were killing it and racking up minutes under their belts in a top league at such a young age. They had arrived in Seoul the day before and arrived to the hospital suite with a myriad of German and European snacks. All of them wept together by the end, squeezing each other tightly and promising they'd all be at the next World Cup together (they prayed for a miracle to happen to the Chinese National Team first for this to happen).

By the end of the visitations, Hyuck had been distracted from his injury a little, and it was only when his physiotherapist came in with an anticipating grin that the world came crashing around him and his lonely, vacant hospital room.

-

"Lee Donghyuck, huh?" you flip through his file, grimacing at the injury description in bold just above a list of all his achievements, "It's a shame."

"We were rooting for him. He's South Korea's most hopeful prodigy and we wanted to show off his skill on the world stage. There is no doubt that offers from the European powers would come in quickly after seeing how he plays. Barcelona offered £20 million for him two months ago, but if he had been in Russia? You could quadruple that price," the team's physiotherapist hummed as he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital.

"He's my little brother's idol," you chuckle, "Can you believe it? He's 18 and has fans. Is he that good?"

"One of the best young stars I've ever seen, to be honest," he replied, "We don't like to tell him as to not boost his ego. I'm really devastated for him."

"Oh well. South Korea has a tough group this year anyway," you shrugged, closing the file, "I can't imagine South Korea beating Germany."

"But Donghyuck is the player that can change the game in one second. I see a lot of Yuta and Taeyong in him. Last summer, the club had a pre-season friendly with Real Madrid. Yuta was on vacation and Taeyong was nursing an injury, but other than that, we had our full 11 and so did they. You know, Ramos and Kroos and everything.  Good players, right? Incredible. We were losing by 2 at halftime. Donghyuck was brought on at the 60th minute and scored 3 goals by himself in 30 minutes against some of the best defenders in the world," he recounted, "You never know how Russia could go if Donghyuck was there."

Your heart falls listening to the physiotherapist, Kim Junghwan, rave about the newest star of NCT FC and the future of South Korean football. You're not a football player nor a crazy ultra, but you were an avid watcher and you do know that the World Cup is one of the most, if not the most, important tournaments in the game. You'll never be forgotten if you make your mark at the World Cup.

"Hey, at least he has an Olympic gold medal," you had read that feat on his sheet, "Exempt from military service right?"

"Oh yeah, the Olympics 2 years ago," Junghwan recalls fondly, "Only under-21s could play in the Olympics and Donghyuck, Jeno, Mark and Jaemin killed it there. NCT FC is lucky to have them."

"Jaemin?"

"Yeah, he used to play for the B-team until a club in Germany, Borussia Dortmund, scouted him. If he didn't go, he'd definitely be the future of NCT FC, but he did tell me that he at least wants to retire here like Taeyong said he'll do too. I think he's just waiting for the older generation, like Yuta and Ten, to start slowing down or transfer because if he stayed, he wouldn't have gotten regular minutes."

"But playing in Europe is any footballer's dream right?" you frown.

"I guess, but NCT FC is a family. All our players now? We raised them up from the ground. All their hearts are in Seoul," Junghwan states proudly, "I just said Barcelona offered for Hyuck, right? The club almost went through with it, but Donghyuck refused it. He refused one of the best teams in the world because he wants to develop here. He's attached."

"Wow," you uttered, impressed at his commitment and growing sadder at his injury, "I can't wait to meet him."

"He's a nice boy."

-

Walking into his hospital room, you were nervous. Of course you were! You were about to meet one of Korea's top stars who was in a very vulnerable and sensitive place in his life, dealing with his first major injury. Sports stars suffered injuries all the time, but it was very rare for it to be as serious as it was, and it was very unlucky for Donghyuck to suffer such a grave injury so early to his career and right before one of the most important summers of his life.

"Hey Hyuck, are you ready to start rehabilitation today?" Junghwan chimed gleefully.

You shut the white door behind you and examined the surroundings. Donghyuck was watching on the portable TV, encased in white walls made brighter by the heaps of balloons, flowers and decorations people had brought him. He sure was popular.

Donghyuck was about to respond as cheerily as he could muster (which wasn't very) but he immediately noticed you behind his familiar physio. His eyes shifted between the two of you and his brows pulled towards his eyes in confusion.

"Oh, this is Y/N. She's just finished her first year of sports medicine at SNU with a focus on physical therapy and rehabilitation," Junghwan explained, "You know that we take in some college students every summer for placement and experience so Y/N will be assisting me all summer in helping you."

The face that Donghyuck had made was one you hadn't expected, "Seriously? Hyung-nim, my injury is so serious! I need to recover in 6 months for the Asian Cup at least if I can't make it to the Olympics. I can't have some first-year college student who doesn't even have a degree yet treat me like her doll to play with!"

"Yah! Lee Donghyuck!" Junghwan exclaimed in displease, "What is wrong with you? I've never seen you act like this! Apologise right now!"

"Why do I need to apologise?" he screeched back, "I'm protecting myself because my whole entire career is on the line!"

"It will be on the line when I tell the head coach you're acting like this and CEO Lee Sooman hears of the way you're acting to someone who wants to help you," Junghwan fought back, "Y/N is incredibly smart and incredibly capable. Hyuck, I care about you and I want you to recover as fast as well, so I would not bring Y/N with me if I didn't think she could help."

"Hyung," Donghyuck groaned out, "Hyung, I need to recover. I need to."

You were stood there in front of the door paralysed as you watched Donghyuck turn into a suddenly angry, arrogant football star into a vulnerable, shaking mess of a teenager. You read the room quickly, judging by the gifts piled up all around the room.

For the past few days that he'd been confined to the hospital room, he had been playing optimistic and happy with any teammate and friend that walked through the doors. He had been putting on shaky smiles to his teammates, assuring them that he would get over this blip in his career successfully when his mind was full of doubts and negative thoughts.

"You're Lee Donghyuck. Of course, you'll recover," Junghwan was brushing the hair that had flopped over Donghyuck's face away and the endearing site caused you to shake out of your frozen statute, "You're the boy who single-handedly defeated the best team in the world-"

"After NCT FC," Donghyuck sniffled.

"After NCT FC," Junghwan chuckled, "And you're Lee Donghyuck who scored the winning goal at 16 in the Olympic final against Neymar's Brazil. You're Lee Donghyuck who shocked the world by refusing Barcelona because you're wise and loyal. You're Lee Donghyuck who is Korea's present and future."

The boy seemed to calm down, but he still wasn't acknowledging you.

"So, Lee Donghyuck, I'm going to leave you here with Y/N and get some food from the cafeteria. You're going to apologise like the nice boy I know you are and we're going to get you started on your rehab," Junghwan broke out slowly, "Okay, Hyuck?"

Donghyuck's warm, teary eyes fluttered over to you before he reluctantly nodded, "Okay. Can you get me some chocolate milk please?"

You let a little sound reminiscent of a giggle through your lips, but Donghyuck hadn't noticed.

"Just this once," Junghwan teased, "Now, apologise."

He quickly left the room and you were left all alone with the boy that has kind-of slandered you just moments earlier.

Donghyuck was squinting at you, and you felt conscious, not knowing if his nice act was all that you thought- just an act. He tilted his head like a puppy, and you could admit that he was cute, "So, are you my noona?"

You grin, "You're not the only prodigy around here, Lee Donghyuck. I finished high school a year early so we're the same age."

He nodded slowly, "Impressive. I guess I'm sorry for the way I lashed out, then."

You took a seat at the chair beside his hospital bed (which was king-sized), "You don't have to be sorry. I understand. If I were in your position, I would be sceptical of me, but please learn to trust me. I know what I'm doing if I do say so myself."

"I'll warm up to you," he presses his lips together in a tight smile, "Hopefully."

"Hopefully."

-

Donghyuck's stay in the hospital after his knee surgery was only meant to be for a week, but considering he was now living alone since Mark had left to prepare for the tournament, no one could take care of him all the time and his family had lives too. That was why the hospital, the club and Donghyuck all agreed on Donghyuck staying for a little longer until he was off crutches and just in a brace, which could take maybe a month, and stronger.

To be fair, Donghyuck had everything in that hospital room. He had WiFi, he had a king-sized bed, he had 24-hour medical care at the press of a button and a 24-hour food supply, even if it was sub-par, bland hospital food. His hospital suite, funded by the club, was twice as big as his room in the apartment he shared with Mark, and it was a lot cleaner.

On the fourth day that you got to the hospital, Junghwan ran a little behind and asked you to walk with Hyuck for a little while around the hospital. However, when you arrived, you quickly picked up on the various voices emitting noise outside his door- he must have had guests.

Reluctantly, you rapped at the door and entered, seeing 3 people in the room.

"Oh, Y/N! I was just telling them about you," Donghyuck greeted you, gesturing to the 3 boys, "These are Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun."

"Hi, I'm Y/N," you smiled politely, "Donghyuck if you're busy I can come back later?"

"No, no. It's fine. Where's Junghwan-hyung?" Donghyuck asked.

"He's running a little late but he asked me to take you on a walk around the hospital or something."

The one you thought was Renjun giggled, "You're like a dog, Hyuck."

"Jaemin, get me my crutches. I'm going to beat Renjun up with them," Donghyuck deadpanned before turning to you, "Yeah, let's go. Let's all walk to the cafeteria; I'm starving."

Jaemin handed the crutches over to Donghyuck as Renjun recoiled away, in fear of just in case Donghyuck would actually hit him (he wouldn't put it past him). You turned to the unfamiliar boy beside you; you hadn't heard his name up to now. You hadn't met Na Jaemin before but Junghwan had noted before who he was.

"Are you a footballer too?" you smiled towards the boy.

"Yeah, I also used to play for NCT FC in the youth squads, but I'm over in Germany with Jaemin these days," Renjun said proudly, "I'm also Chinese, by the way, but I grew up here."

"Your Korean is amazing," you complimented as Donghyuck began hobbling out of the door, "Donghyuck stop putting so much pressure on your other leg. Your injured leg can still hold some of you and use the crutches properly please."

He turned back to you, squinted his eyes and stuck his tongue out at you before huffing and following your orders.

"Y/N, you must be so smart," Jaemin grinned at you, appearing on your other side while Jeno walked up ahead, "Finishing high school a year early and being at university already. We're all the same age here."

"You seem even smarter because Jaemin is failing all of his classes right now," Renjun snorted.

"Hey! It's really hard getting your high school diploma while playing for a huge team abroad and learning German too," Jaemin whined, "We can't all speak a billion languages! Hyuck dropped out of high school ages ago- at least I tried!"

"He did?" you murmured.

"It's not like he needs it," Renjun shrugged, "He'll get a trillion-dollar transfer offer soon, I think. What happens to us if we fail? I mean, I know me and Nana got scouted but there's always that possibility. With Hyuck, it was all or nothing and we couldn't talk him out of it."

"Is there anywhere he wants to go especially?" you asked, curious to know more about the boy you were gonna help treat for the next few months. Donghyuck seemed oblivious, having a loud, animated conversation with Jeno up ahead.

"If it was his choice, and the best choice for his career, he'd stay," Jaemin answered, "But Europe is where the money's at. Donghyuck doesn't even care about money, but people are willing to pay big money for him and eventually, the club will have to do it. The club's a business at the end of the day. I'd love to have him at Dortmund, but they don't do big money moves; they only ever receive the big money."

"I'd like to think he'll enjoy it in England," Renjun added, "Or Spain, actually. Maybe with Taeyong-hyung at Madrid."

"I don't think he'd ever leave Mark though. It's probably a clause in his contract that Mark has to come with him if any club wants him," Jaemin continued, "But Mark and Hyuck are electric together. Clubs probably would want them both."

"I haven't met Mark," you smiled fondly at how much Hyuck raved about his best friend, "But I feel like I have."

"Yah, you three are so slow," Donghyuck stopped and whined, "What are you even gossiping about?"

"You," Jaemin quipped, "I'm telling Y/N about that time when we went to Jeju and you-"

Donghyuck made the motion to swing snd throw his crutches and Jaemin yelled out and cowered away.

"Don't. You. Dare." Donghyuck threatened through gritted teeth, "Ya, Y/N come in the elevator with me. The rest of you- wait until it comes again or take the stairs."

The three boys groaned in protest and began talking at once, to which Donghyuck shushed them firmly before beckoning you into the open elevator and waiting for the lift to close.

You looked at him, puzzled, "We all could have fit."

"I know," he smirked, "Do you find either of them attractive? Nana and Renjun? They've taken a liking to you it seems."

Your face contorted into a mix between confusion and bewilderment, "We've had 1 conversation together!"

"Yeah but girls like Nana a lot," Donghyuck shrugged, "Nana's flirty and Renjun has some weird spell he casts over girls. But don't do it- they live so far and the time difference is hard to keep up with. We can barely hold proper conversations."

"I'm not about to date your teammates right now, Donghyuck," rolling your eyes in humour.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" he pressed.

"Well, no, but-"

"Then be careful. Na Jaemin is lethal," he snarled jokingly, "They might be around a lot this summer. Nana and Renjun and Jeno chose not to go anywhere this summer, even before I got injured. They might've gone over to Russia to catch a few games, but other than that, those losers wanted to come home and kick it back here in Seoul. Wouldn't put it past them to be kicking a ball about in a random park somewhere on sunny days. Anyway, do you know when hyung is gonna be here and what we're gonna do?"

"He said he was gonna run an hour late," you shrugged, "And I think just your basic stretches and practising walking like now to get your strength back up, which is the main thing."

He sighed as the elevator doors parted, "It's gonna be a long summer, Y/N-ah."

-

Donghyuck wasn't having one of his better days. Today, he was groaning and non-compliant and whiny. You guessed that it was because you were progressing into the next phase- walking without the support of crutches around 2 weeks after the surgery.

"It hurts," he hissed, throwing himself onto his bed, "I don't want to do this anymore."

Junghwan patted him on the back as he sat back up, "I know Hyuck, but we really need you off the crutches. I know you're strong enough too. Do you want to break up for lunch now?"

You glanced up to the clock that read about half-past 12. Usually, Donghyuck got hungry around 1, so it wasn't such a strange time. The footballer sighed and nodded, "Are we going out for lunch today again?"

Junghwan chuckled, "You're complaining about exercising and doing your stretches to get off your crutches yet you'd go out for lunch?"

"But food," Donghyuck humphed, "The temporary pain it'll bring me to walk to the car and to the restaurant will be alleviated by the food. But I guess you could go grab the lunch and we could eat here?"

"I'm not your personal assistant Donghyuck," Junghwan caught his glance to you, "And neither is Y/N. I'll go get lunch for us, but I'm picking. No fighting kids."

You bid a quick goodbye to Junghwan, offering him some money to which he refused and then you were suddenly left in a silent room with the boy.

"Did you watch the match against Sweden last night?" Donghyuck began, readjusting himself on his bed so that he was sat up with the top half of the bed supporting him.

"Yeah, it was a good game."

You still veered on the fence of cautious around Donghyuck about the World Cup, because you still hadn't fully gauged his feelings about not being there. It was obvious that he had been upset about it primarily, but you weren't sure if he had yet accepted it and taken it in his stride to get better and just focus on that while supporting them. He seemed in fine spirits anyway, other than the newfound stress that his knee was undergoing.

"Oh c'mon Y/N," he rolled his eyes playfully, "I know you like football. I heard from Junghwan that the physio students could choose which sport they wanted to intern with this summer."

You laughed, relaxing in your seat, "Taeyong did score a really good goal, I must admit."

"I bet we're going to beat Germany," he chided, "Imagine how amazing it would feel to beat the current World Cup winners. I FaceTimed Mark in the dressing room after the game and they're so pumped up! Coach is happy with the 2-0 win."

"Johnny made really good saves last night to keep that clean sheet," you nodded, recalling how the goalkeeper had saved a penalty that one of the centre-backs clumsily gave away.

"To think he almost played for America," Donghyuck chided as he crossed his arms, "He wouldn't have half the talent in the team with him. Anyway, did you see how angry Jaehyun-hyung got when Rowoon-hyung made that tackle against the other team?"

"It was kind of scary, but at least Johnny's a great keeper," you recalled, "Rowoon doesn't play for NCT FC right?"

"He plays for a different club in Spain. I can't remember which," he shrugged.

Over the past 2 weeks, Donghyuck had warmed up to you as he had hoped, and you found that there wasn't a single flash of that boy that had snapped when you first came into the room. He was truly incredibly sweet and cheeky and determined to get back to playing, most of the time. He was still an 18-year-old boy, so you gave him some passes on a few tantrums, given that he was injured. Other than that, he made great company on your breaks and made nice conversation. He always asked you questions as if he was genuinely interested in what you learn and what you want to do. To be fair, he had told you that he stopped receiving proper full-time education by the time he was 15 to focus fully on his career, so he lived the university and high school life vicariously through the stories you told. You found it endearing- how not self-absorbed you originally were scared he might be.

"Y/N. Y/N. Y/N-ahhhhh," he whined, recapturing your drifting attention.

"Oh, I zoned out."

"Duh," he joked, "What do you think my prognosis is looking like?"

You chose your words carefully, "Well, I'm not a doctor, but I've sat in some of the meetings with the club and hospital doctors and physios-"

"And I wasn't invited?" he shrieked.

You shot him a pointed look, "We're probably talking at least 6 months out. It's not the severest case NCT FC has seen, but severe enough to constitute a surgery. You'll hopefully be back after the winter break."

Donghyuck winced, thinking about the ACL tear that kept Taeil out of the squad for a whole season in the first season that Donghyuck played with the first team, "Why does it feel like there's a but?"

"But it all depends on how hard you work for it," you sighed, "And how your body responds. It's under a lot of stress with all of this. It's your first major injury."

"I'm determined," he huffed, "There's nothing else I want more in the world than to be back out there. Football's my first love. Fuck the World Cup, fuck the league. I just want to know that I'll still be able to play in any capacity."

"Don't be dramatic, Donghyuck," you laughed, patting the cast, "You'll be okay."

He looked up to you with his large, glittering eyes as you towered above him after getting up from your chair, "I trust you."

His words sat a little funny in your stomach, but you just gave him a tight smile and prayed for Junghwan to return a little quicker.

-

You rubbed your eyes as your other hand reached up to the door to knock, "Donghyuck, it's Y/N," you called softly as you then pushed open the door.

He was fully off crutches now, but still in the hospital room for at least a week longer to ensure he was settled with the new phase of physical therapy. You didn't see him every day, though he did take up a large majority of the time you spent at your placement with NCT FC, considering he had the most serious injury. Even still, your placement was with the club and not with Lee Donghyuck, so you spent around 1 or 2 days a week at the club with the other physiotherapists and players, and 3 days assisting Junghwan with Donghyuck. Even Junghwan didn't see Donghyuck every day and just trusted that he followed the recommended exercises and instructions for rehabilitation.

Today was one of the days that Junghwan was at the club with the other players, but he had asked you to be with Donghyuck today to just monitor him as he could not come in a couple of days before.

You were surprised to walk into a dim room, with blinds drawn and no noise other than the air conditioning whirring. You frowned as usually by 9 AM, Donghyuck was bright and cheery and it was already 10:30 AM.

Donghyuck's top half was curled and cuddling a pillow adorably, but his bottom half remained straight and still, restricted by the thick brace hugging his knee. The duvet was pulled up to just above his nose and you could hear his deep breaths as you approached.

He looked really peaceful- really calm; a stark contrast to his stitched eyebrows and frustrated expressions as you and Junghwan continued to push him harder as per his rehabilitation plan. You hated to wake him up, but you gently gripped his shoulders and lightly shook, "Donghyuck, wake up. It's Y/N."

You repeated this a couple more times until he drew in a sharp breath and stirred. Light sleepy groans came out of his mouth as the duvet slipped past his chin. He continued shuffling before his eyes fluttered open, "Y/N? What are you doing here? Isn't it yours and Junghwan's day at the club?"

"You just have me today. I didn't come in the other day remember? On my other day at the club? So he asked me to come in today here instead of at the facility," you explained slowly as you watched him wake to consciousness.

"Yay," he smiled, still sleepy. You thought his messy hair and tired eyes were adorable.

"Why are you still asleep? I'm not saying you can't but usually, you're up and ready to go by the time we get here in the morning," you queried.

"Up all night until 3 or 4," he clicked a button on his remote that caused the bed to move upwards so he could sit up, "Match was at midnight, then Taeyong-hyung called me and I talked with everyone for a bit."

"Oh my God, I completely forgot. I was too tired to stay up and watch and I forgot to check the score this morning," you gasped, "How did we do?"

"Childsplay," a grin took over his face, "3-0 to us courtesy of a Jaehyun-hyung header, a tap-in from Mark and then a screamer from Jungwoo. You have to watch the highlights, Y/N! In fact, I'll get it up for you while I go brush my teeth and change."

Before you could even protest, Donghyuck had pulled his laptop from the bedside table, opened it and loaded up the match highlights. He looked up at you with those big, puppy-like brown eyes that you had gotten used to over the past few weeks, "Sit," he commanded, patting his bed while he whipped off the duvet and wiggled to get out.

He saw your hesitation and narrowed his eyes at you, "Don't get shy now, Y/N-ah. You're just sitting on my bed."

You hid the warmth rising to your cheeks and obeyed, taking the laptop from his grip as he got up and placing it on the bed as he walked to the toilet. He was right- it seemed like a great game from South Korea as you expected. The highlights not only showed the goals (it was indeed a screamer from Jungwoo into the top left corner) but also Johnny's phenomenal saves.

By the end of the 7 minutes of highlights, Donghyuck was freshly changed (when did he take his clothes out of his wardrobe?), with brushed teeth, a washed face and combed hair. You liked the messy hair anyway.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I think that Germany has it cut out for them for the match in 4 days," you nodded, proudly, "Considering they lost their opening game, I think that South Korea has a really good chance of topping the group."

Donghyuck's bright smile blinded you, "I'm so proud of them. I knew this was our summer."

You held your breath, waiting for even the slightest of inclinations that sadness was about to overcome him, but that moment never came. Donghyuck puffed up his chest and carried the pride of his nation as he folded his laptop away and looked at you expectantly, "Let's go get breakfast in the canteen? Have you had breakfast?"

"Not yet," you uttered, still anticipating his smile to even drop.

But instead, he grinned wider and hooked his arm around yours, "Then let's go down!"

Lee Donghyuck was constantly surprising you with his sunshine personality and positive outlook despite this whole situation being the worst thing that's ever happened to him. You kind of admired him a lot for it.

When you opened the door, you were met with surprise as a giant loomed over you, with a fist raised that was about to knock.

"Oh," he said, also surprised, "Who are you?"

"Yukhei!," Donghyuck exclaimed, "You didn't tell me you were coming! And this is Y/N, Junghwan's student this summer. Haven't you seen her around the club?"

"I've been on vacation," he explained, "It's nice to meet you Y/N! I'm Lucas or Yukhei- your choice."

You smiled back and replied the same, looking him up and down and noting his muscly arms and tanned skin that indicated a few weeks out sunbathing on yachts and white sand beaches.

"We were about to go down for breakfast. Did you wanna come?"

"Oh I'm starving!" he grinned, "Hyuck, are you okay walking? Do you have to hold on to Y/N still while walking? Where are your crutches?"

Donghyuck visibly recoiled, slipping his arm from yours and sighed, "No, I'm off crutches now. I was just dragging Y/N to the canteen. Where did you go on vacation?"

"I spent a week visiting my family in Hong Kong then like a week in the Maldives with a few friends," Lucas replied, "It was really nice and so hot."

"Looks like it! Your tan looks so nice and I literally look like a raw pastry," Hyuck whined, "I need to get out more."

"You're the one that doesn't wanna go on our walks outside and would rather do laps around the hospital corridors," you teased.

He sneered playfully, "But it's hot!"

"You're stupid," Lucas nudged him softly as you packed into the elevator.

Eventually, the three of you found yourselves in the familiar canteen, where Donghyuck sat himself down on an inconspicuous table neither in the middle nor too close to the door. You usually got the meals both for him and for you, just because Donghyuck found the queue clunky and awkward with his large cast and one time, a kid had quite literally crashed into Donghyuck excitedly and caused a crash that sent apples and bread flying everywhere.

"Do you get his breakfast for him?" Lucas asked you, "I'll get food with you."

You indicated to Donghyuck that you were going to get the food and he just made a noise of acknowledgement before dropping his head onto the table.

Lucas grabbed a tray and walked a half step behind, "Did Hyuck say you're working with Junghwan? So you're the resident physio student this year?"

"Yeah- I study sports medicine with a focus on rehabilitation and physical therapy. I was always gonna be at NCT FC this summer, but it just made the summer all the more interesting working with Junghwan on an ACL recovery case. Obviously, I'm not glad it happened to him," you nodded, grabbing items off the food shelves.

"No, I get you. That's pretty beneficial to you, but obviously not to Hyuck. Do you come by the club?" he was a pretty conversational guy, even when scanning the breakfast items with focus.

"Usually twice a week, so I'll see you there when you train?"

"Of course. You can come and get lunch with me at the club too; I'll treat you," he grinned, making your face heat up from his tone, "I'll never complain having lunch with a pretty and intelligent girl."

You were back by the table by the time he had finished his sentence. Donghyuck had found the strength in him to lift his face from the cream table and was now sitting with a scowl on his face.

"She's here with us to learn and gain experience this summer, Yukhei," Donghyuck stated. You couldn't place the tone of his voice- whether he was serious or not, "Not get a boyfriend."

"Hey," Lucas smirked, "There's no harm in making friends, Hyuck. You should try it sometime."

"I have plenty of friends," Donghyuck huffed, stabbing his spoon into the porridge you had bought him, "Thanks Y/N."

You didn't reply, dumbfounded by the slight tension in the air between the two.

Thankfully, it didn't carry on for much longer after you moved the conversation to the matches they had watched during the World Cup. The two were obviously in their comfort zone talking about football- so much so that any tension dissipated almost instantly once Lucas started talking about France and Croatia and Belgium looking strong.

Eventually, after the three of you returned to Donghyuck's suite, Lucas excused himself to head to training for the first time after his vacation. Donghyuck had pouted, wishing to be back at the training grounds, but you had reminded him that he was going to return to the training grounds the following day to start sport-focused rehabilitation.

"Do you like Lucas?" Donghyuck had asked you once the tall boy had left.

"Are you going to ask me if I'm going to fall in love with your friends every time I meet one of them?" you rebounded, "I just met the guy."

"Lucas' effect on girls is like Jaemin's but on crack," Donghyuck snorted, "Have you seen the guy?"

"Okay, so you date him then. So what if I get lunch with Lucas and get closer to him?"

"You can't date him," he huffed. Donghyuck pouted often; you were used to it by now.

"Why not?"

"So you want to?"

"I didn't say that. But why not? Or any of your teammates. I don't officially work for the club. I'm only here this summer."

"But you're mine," he whined.

Now that knocked the wind out of you. What did he just say? Your pupils were dilated and your cheeks pink as you took in what he said.

Donghyuck coughed, then scrambled to correct himself, "I mean, you're my physiotherapist. Well, you spend the most time with me and what if you fall in love with one of my friends and you won't care about me and you won't help me get better."

You interrupted your silence with a light chuckle, "My main focus this summer is helping Junghwan, so that includes helping you. And you know I'm not doing much for you like Junghwan and the doctors and other health professionals are. I'm just here to remind you to stretch and walk and force you to not give up."

He crossed his arms, "But without you, I wouldn't do those things."

You nudged him playfully, "You've got me all summer long, Hyuck."

-

You couldn't believe you were doing this. Not at all. Sure, no rules were broken by the simple act of you standing on the doormat outside of Donghyuck and Mark's apartment, but it still felt wrong.

"You're here!" Jaemin exclaimed loudly as the door swung open. He took the drinks from your hands and ushered you in.

Even from down the corridor when you exited the elevator you could hear the ruckus in the apartment. It wasn't a surprise that 6 boys packed together in a small apartment were noisy and excitable. After all, South Korea were playing the current World Cup champions.

"Y/N!" they all exclaimed in unison. You sat on the space Donghyuck had patted and motioned for you to sit in- right beside him.

"Oh, this is Chenle and Jisung. They're babies," Donghyuck pointed at the two younger boys that you hadn't met yet.

"I've met them at the club," you reminded him, saying hi to the boys, "What's with him?" you nodded over to Renjun who was pouting with his arms crossed, watching the pre-match commentary.

"He's still deciding who to support. He's not Korean and he doesn't play in Korea but he plays in Germany and he plays with a bunch of the German players, like Reus," Jeno explained from the other side of you.

"You're a traitor if you support Germany," Jisung jabbed playfully.

Renjun let out a long groan and threw a pillow at the pink-haired boy, "I just won't be on either team. If only China qualified."

"And who's fault is that?" Jaemin snorted.

"Hey, at least we actually play for the national team!" Chenle cried out, huffing and pouting like his countryman.

China didn't hadn't had the greatest reputation in terms of international football- at least not in the last few years. It was definitely still a lot more hopeful more recently, with a sudden sprout of young and talented players being cultivated abroad.

"Shut up! It's starting!" Hyuck yelled, silencing the room as you all watched the players walk out of the tunnel.

Donghyuck had invited you over to watch the match with him and his friends, though the invitation was encouraged by his friends who had taken a liking to you at the training grounds. You had almost declined, given that the match was at 11 PM and would go on late into the night, but you didn't have any other plans and were most likely going to watch alone, so you accepted and offered to buy drinks.

"Taeyong-hyung looks nervous," Jeno noted, examining the tight expression on the national team captain's sharp features.

"They're all nervous," Donghyuck added, "Germany got to the semi-finals at the Euros and they're still a strong team no matter what."

"So are we," Jaemin exhaled.

You could sense how the nervousness in the players' faces reflected onto the expressions of the boys in the room with you. How could it not? These people they were watching play were their best friends, colleagues, brothers, captains and teammates.

You weren't going to lie; your stomach was churning.

The whole match was tense, for you and the boys and the players on the field. It was surprising, though- Germany just couldn't get the ball in the back of the net. Header after header and volley after volley, the ball just wouldn't slip past Johnny Suh, who caught, punched and kicked every ball away. You could practically hear the whole nation crying out in relief every time he dived and slapped away the ball. Even though Germany were tall, they were no match for Johnny.

You knew the Korean team were great- you watched them so often, but you hadn't had the chance to see them in action against the big European sides before since they more often played their games with the AFC nations, so you weren't sure where to place them in world standings. Of course, you wanted them to win and of course, you wanted to feel the pride surging in you for a few games more, but you were nervous coming into the game.

"What happens if we lose?" Jeno had gulped in the 90th minute, seeing the heaps of extra time added on, "We still go through, right?"

"Yeah, but it's just that we have to play Brazil next since we'll go through as second place. It's ideal to win so we can play Switzerland instead in the round of 16," Jaemin explained, "I'm nervous."

"Quiet," Donghyuck's voice was commandeering as he watched Mark line up the ball at the corner flag and look up to scope his prospects.

You all watched eagerly. It was as if everyone sensed something was going to happen. That's what it felt like. It was the 92nd minute- 2 minutes into extra time, but you still felt like the game had a lot more to give. It wasn't going to end in a draw- you knew that much.

And in a flash of the sound of the ball being kicked and another thud of the ball hitting a skull, you blinked and opened your eyes to the ball in the back of the net and the 6 boys around you screaming and jumping. You were frozen to your seat as Donghyuck grabbed your arm and shook it- he couldn't quite jump with the boys with the restriction around his knee.

Jaehyun had started running, arms spread towards the Korean end of the stands, but he had been halted by a flag being raised and an uproar of boos by the Korean fans.

"What's happening? Jisung cried out desperately.

"The ref's motioning to check VAR," Renjun furrowed his eyebrows, "It might've been offside."

The boys started groaning, calling out profanities towards the situation as the incident of Jaehyun's flick from Mark's corner replayed with a focus on the ball's course to Jaehyun's feet at the far end of the post.

You all watched in anticipation as you watched the replay. It was as clear as day that the ball struck the floor and hit Niklas Süle's feet before it ended up miraculously at Jaehyun. All Jaehyun had to do was adjust and kick it past Manuel Neuer, who was too close to Jaehyun to adequately save it. The referee blew his whistle, indicating that he indeed was awarding the goal to South Korea, and the players all rushed onto the field, including all those on the bench. The 6 of you celebrated like Jaehyun had just scored again and the adrenaline was pumping through intensely.

"Oh my God, they're going through to the round of 16!" you exclaimed, "Oh my God!"

"They deserve this so much," Jeno smiled emotionally. Even Renjun seemed like his heart was gonna burst from pride, watching the boys who raised him celebrate like that.

But it wasn't over. Germany was desperate. They were bullying the South Korean's off the ball, and aggressively making half-hearted attempts at shooting, to no avail. They were never going to score that way- it was too angry the way they played.

By the 96th minute, just as the match was about to end, Manuel Neuer took his sweeper-keeper role to the extreme and dashed past the halfway line. He was playing as a midfielder- not even a defender! What was unfortunate for Germany was that Kim Doyoung caught wind of this and launched the ball at his feet all the way forwards to end up in front of Lee Taeyong. The defender guarding Taeyong cursed everyone and their families in his head as he knew that he could never match the speed of the blonde-haired boy. With a casual side knock, the ball hit the back of the net and the Korean players had collapsed onto the ground and were thanking the heavens. The referee eventually put Germany out of their misery and blew the whistle.

The 6 of you were celebrating as if South Korea had won the whole tournament, but this was enough. The non-European and non-Americas teams rarely made it out of the group stage, and South Korea hadn't been great since 3 tournaments ago when they placed 4th in 2002. Korea were the underdogs to the whole world after it was revealed they were in a group with Germany, but the team just proved the whole world wrong and made their entire country proud.

"I can't believe this," Donghyuck had said in awe beside you, "I'm so happy."

The camera panned to Mark sat cross-legged on the floor, looking up at the fans in the stadium. Johnny had approached, hugging the boy and chucking him a red jersey. Mark spread it and found the nearest camera and screamed, "Donghyuck, that was for you!" while holding up a jersey with Donghyuck's name and number.

And Donghyuck started bawling.

-

Jaemin eyed the door nervously and warily. He handed you the cup of warm hot chocolate and nudged you, "I think you should talk to him."

"Me? You're his best friend," you were confused why you were being sent out to talk to the inconsolable boy.

"We're all footballers, Y/N. I'd feel exactly how he'd feel if that were me. He needs an outsider perspective. And you're good with making him feel better," Jaemin sighed, "Please?"

You hesitated, staring down at the flurries of steam escaping the mug, "Okay."

It was around 1:30 AM, and after Mark's gesture, Donghyuck had excused himself to the balcony to continue crying. The 5 of you had sat dumbfounded and confused, not knowing how to interpret his reaction. Was he happy? Sad? Angry? The TV was left running with the post-match commentary as you all settled your emotions after the game. Jaemin had taken the initiative to make hot chocolates for everyone.

"Here," he handed you another mug, but for yourself this time.

The balcony door was slightly ajar, but far enough from the living room that Hyuck probably hadn't heard you speak.

"Hyuck? Can I join you?" you asked softly, leaning against the glass.

You heard strong sniffles and his sleeves rubbing at his eyes as he made a sound of acknowledgement that you took as permission. You nudged his arm with the hot chocolate and he took it without a sound, still not meeting your eyes. The streets of Seoul were lit up, and you could see far into the cityscape. This was unusual for 1:30 AM, but South Korea had just beaten Germany in the world cup a few time zones and a flight to Russia away.

"How are you feeling? What's on your mind?" you uttered cautiously, not wanting to upset the boy more.

"That I should be there with them," he stated, "God, it sounds so cocky but-"

"No, you deserved it, Hyuck," you cut in, "You deserved to be there. You deserve to be winning with them."

"I didn't ask Mark to do that, you know? I didn't even know they made World Cup team shirts for me. They're printed there, not before, so..."

"I wish you could've made it there, Hyuck. They do too," you sipped on your hot chocolate, "You're still young though. You have at least 2 or 3 more world cups in you."

"I know, I know," he sighed, "But after the season I just had? I wanted to keep that momentum going for the rest of my career, but this stupid goddamn injury just knocked me ten steps back from the 1 step I made forward."

You weren't sure what to say, but you just let out a sigh to match his, "I'm really sorry, Hyuck. But I just hope you know you have your friends inside there to support you. And me too."

He finally met your eyes and your heart melted at his glassy gaze, "Thank you for being there for me, Y/N. I know we've only known each other for a couple of weeks, but thank you."

"Friendships can be built in hours, Hyuck. A couple of weeks can be a lifetime," you chuckled, "But no worries. I'm here to take care of your health physically and mentally too."

"You smartie," he finally cracked a smile, before uttering a sentence that completely caught you offguard, "You're so pretty too, you know that right?"

Your eyes widened slightly as you stuttered to find the right words to say, "Hyuck!"

"I'm just being honest," he shrugged, "And honestly, i'm really glad you're here right now."

He was now staring straight into your eyes, gaze soft and all guards down. Your eyes flickered away from his, landing on his lips, and it seemed he had the same idea.

Donghyuck stepped closer, one feet and then two until he was stood right in front of you. He was in closer proximity than ever before and you could feel your heart beating intensely inside your chest.

"Donghyuck," you whispered, "What are you doing?"

His stare remained on your parted lips, "Will you let me, Y/N?"

"I don't know if you're in the right mind. I want you to be sure."

He exhaled, his breath fanning over your lips so that you could almost taste him, "For the first time this summer, my mind has never been as clear."

You gripped the mug between you tighter as your eyes fluttered closed and as Donghyuck pressed his lips to yours in front of the glittering Seoul landscape.

-

You hadn't seen Donghyuck in 2 days. As the Korea-Germany match ended late at night and Korea had won, the club gave everyone the day off, which you greatly appreciated with the headache that woke you up on Donghyuck's couch. After waking up that morning, you had dashed out to avoid any awkward conversations in case he woke up. Donghyuck and Jaemin and Chenle had slept cuddled up in his bed, while the other 3 crammed into Mark's room. They had a comfortable sofa bed, which they let you take by yourself.

But it was the day after and you knew that you were going to see him eventually. You were one of the first people that arrived to the training grounds bright and early, and met Junghwan in the rehabilitation room.

"Hi Y/N! Did you enjoy watching the match?" he smiled over at you. Junghwan had been a great mentor all summer.

"I did, thank you! That was a crazy game. Actually, Donghyuck and the boys invited me to watch the game with them so I went over and we watched together," you admitted shyly, "Is that okay?"

He laughed, "Y/N, you're only a student on placement here for the summer. You don't work for the club so date them all if you want. Even still, that's not forbidden so don't worry."

"That's not what I meant," you grumbled playfully, helping set up the room, "What's the plan for today?"

"We're going to hold a meeting with Hyuck today to review his rehabilitation plan as he finishes his 3rd week," he told you, "There shouldn't be any major changes to his plan currently, but we need to set out the future."

"Usually around 6 weeks that he has full range of movement right? And you can start doing drills again?"

"Good job for doing your research," he complimented, "Yeah, that's the plan. He's only here at the training ground because I know he misses the company of his teammates and there's a larger place to walk about."

"What time is he coming?" you were a bit nervous seeing him since you hadn't talked to him since he told you goodnight. You were too scared to text him and weren't even sure what you would have said.

Junghwan looked at his watch, "He's late, as usual. He's probably out in the changing rooms with the boys. Can you wanna go wait outside for them until they come out to start training and drag Hyuck by his collar? Shouldn't be too long."

You gulped, but nodded. You were determined Junghwan not find out anything that you and Hyuck had gotten up to, or will get up to, but you were doubtful anything more would happen. You were still unsure about the incident on the balcony. He wasn't drunk, but maybe his mind was cloudy and emotional after what Mark did. At the same time, he assured you his head was clear so did that mean that he really wanted to kiss you?

The NCT FC training grounds were as lavish as their stadium. State of the art, top facility with everything a player needed and wanted, down to a cinema room to watch football matches, but also films. You navigated to the communal area outside of the most commonly used changing room for the first team (there were multiple) and Junghwan's theory seemed to be correct judging from the noise coming from the other side of the door.

You waited patiently and nervously, not sure what you were going to say to Donghyuck, but choosing to stay professional on the training ground and talking about it some other time.

The boys eventually began filing out, and you found out from Kun that Donghyuck was indeed inside. The boys that came out all greeted you good morning as you became familiar with them over the time you spent at the grounds. Some of them even stopped to chat about the World Cup, but eventually, Donghyuck and the boys came out last.

"Y/N-ah, good morning! Why didn't you stay for breakfast?" Jeno pouted.

"I was called away by my family," you lied, "Sorry about that!"

"We should do it again," Renjun smiled.

Renjun and Jaemin were hanging around the NCT FC football grounds after being given permission by Borussia Dortmund. They were given the summer off until after the World Cup final, but the two still wanted to be around with their former teammates and friends. Somedays they participated (they weren't allowed in team tactical meetings though), and some days they remained at the edges, accompanying each other and waiting for the players' breaks.

Donghyuck lagged behind the group and smiled softly at you when you made eye contact. You were guessing that the boys didn't know what happened, or else they might've mentioned it or at least insinuated to the situation as a means of teasing by now.

"Hyuck, you're late for our meeting," you told him.

He rolled his eyes playfully, "Junghwan expected it. Plus, it's so early, but fine. Let's go. See you later."

He had said goodbye to the boys, who veered off into a different direction onto the pitch to start warming up, leaving you alone with Hyuck.

"How's your knee?" you asked cautiously.

"Fine, I just want the brace off," Hyuck answered, walking beside you to the room.

"Well, Junghwan suggests to only have it on for a few weeks longer, so it'll be soon," you shrugged, "And to be honest, studi-"

"Do you want to get lunch with me?" he interrupted, "Sorry for cutting in but I'm kind of going crazy, Y/N. We should talk."

You avoided his stare, "Yeah. Here or outside?"

"Let's get lunch out. Anywhere you want to take me," he commanded as you neared the door to the rehab room.

You nodded, a sudden wave of nervousness and butterflies overcoming you.

-

The drive to a nearby cafe and brunch spot was quiet but comfortable with Hyuck choosing to rest his head ok the window of the passenger seat while looking out. It was only a few minutes drive, but you didn't want to lose time walking over.

The two of you quickly found a corner table away from the busy centre of the café and ordered your food before sitting down.

"I meant it, you know? When I said my mind was clear as day?" Hyuck reassured you. It was strange- you hadn't seen him as serious like this, "And don't tell me you didn't like it- you kissed me back after."

You blushed at the memory. After Donghyuck planted his lips on yours, and you were initially too frozen to move in response, the boy had begun pulling away, but you captured his lips between yours before he could even part multiple inches away. The two of you kissed for what felt like an eternity on that balcony.

"I just want to make sure you were in the right headspace. I knew you were vulnerable."

"I wanted it to happen so badly, Y/N," he pressed on, "Don't worry."

"So what now? I mean, you're not obliged to anything. People kiss all the time in the heat of the situation-"

You were rambling and cut off by Hyuck's adorable giggles, "Y/N, it's okay. I like you. But we should do it all over again properly. Will you let me take you on a proper date? When this cast is off in a week's time?"

You looked down at the coffee in your hands. You cannot believe that Lee Donghyuck, Korea's superstar, was asking you on a date. But to you, right now, it just seemed as if Donghyuck was an ordinary guy with extraordinary talent.

"Of course, Hyuck."

He had smiled at you brightly- that famous smile that everyone in the nation adored. That famous smile he cracked every time he scored a goal, melting every household in the country. But he was smiling at you.

"Don't get shy around me, Y/N. I know you're not that shy," he giggled, "Did my luscious lips cast a spell on you or something?"

You rolled your eyes, cutting through the food in front of you, "Just eat, Hyuck."

"I like it when you call me Hyuck," he said nonchalantly, "You call me Donghyuck more often."

"I never know if I'm allowed to use it."

"It's just my nickname, Y/N. Everyone used it and you can too," he affirmed, "You think too much."

"And you're so impulsive," you jabbed.

"We balance each other out then," he winked.

The two of you ate your food in silence caused by your hunger and utter focus on the food in front of you, until you broke the silence.

"Do the boys know? About what happened?"

"No, I didn't want to tell them without your permission. And we can keep it between us for now if you like. Sneaking is fun!"

"Just for now," you nodded.

It wasn't that you didn't want the boys to know, but you just wanted to be more sure of the situation yourself first. Was it going anywhere? Would it work?

You gazed at the boy in front of you, happily eating his food. You enjoyed his company and you admired his strength and drive. He was funny and caring towards his friends, but was still in touch with his emotions to show weakness, which you considered an act of strength yourself. He was genuine on and off the pitch (from the replays of matches you had seen anyway) and Donghyuck seemed like a great guy. He had been confusing your feelings accidentally with his slightly flirtatious nature and these tiny incidents and phrases had you all the more falling for him. You asserted that if you didn't want to and didn't have a reason to kiss him on that balcony, you wouldn't have. But you did, and that said it all.

-

South Korea bowed out of the World Cup in the quarter-finals, beaten by a solid England side. They had made it past Switzerland easily in the round of 16, and gave the quarter-finals their best shot. This year, it wasn't meant to be. Still, they had gone further than anyone had anticipated and through this made their nation so, so proud. Upon arrival at Incheon, they were met with whoops and screams and just pure pride.

The training ground was waiting in anticipation for the team to arrive, with the outdoor area prepped with tables and tables of food and rewards. All of the players were coming straight to the training grounds from the airport to celebrate for lunch, even those that didn't play for NCT FC.

You had been invited, of course, since you had been spending the summer with the team and were a part of the club for the summer. Hyuck was beside you, with Renjun to the other side of you.

Donghyuck, who was cast free (and still date-less), was bouncing his leg up and down nervously. It was going to be hard to see the team, but he also missed them even if it was only a month or so. He had confided in you when Korea lost that this was the time he wished that he had been there. You never know what he could've done and it wasn't for certain he would have helped Korea through, but it was the fact that he couldn't do anything that pained him and made him feel helpless.

"Hyuck, are you okay?" you touched his arm in concern, which halted his bouncing legs.

He dropped his head onto your shoulder, "Mark texted me that they're pulling up. I'm scared to see them. I haven't seen Taeyong-hyung and Jungwoo-hyung and coach in so long either."

"It's okay, Hyuck. They're still the same people," you patted him.

You heard a sudden surge of noise and an increase in footsteps. Suddenly, everyone began cheering and clapping on their feet, prompting you and Hyuck to do the same. They didn't have a trophy in their hands, nor a medal around their necks, but it felt like they did in the way everyone was cheering. They had done something so memorable at the World Cup that was now ingrained in the memories of young and old Koreans alike.

Suddenly, you heard a yell rip through the cheering, "Donghyuck-ah!"

And came bounding towards you, was Mark Lee, who engulfed his best friend into the tightest, but still careful, hug.

"Aish, Mark, you act like we're lovers seeing each other after the war," Donghyuck grumbled, but it was blatantly obvious that he missed his best friend too.

"Shut up. Here, I brought this for you," Mark handed over a plastic bag. Donghyuck slipped out a stack of red jerseys- 5 of them in fact. Each one had his name on the back and the game and date for which the jerseys were made.

Donghyuck gawked, then closed his mouth before looking up at Mark, "Thank you. I appreciate it."

"You should talk to coach later. I think he wants to talk to you," Mark advised before noticing your presence and turning to you, "Hi! You're Y/N! It's so great to finally meet you."

Before you knew it, you were being engulfed by the midfielder into a hug. He seemed so friendly and the perfect complement to Donghyuck.

"And you as well. We haven't spoken but it feels like I already know you," you chuckled. Donghyuck liked to talk about his best friend and roommate a lot.

"Likewise, Y/N. Thanks for everything that you do for Hyuck. Hopefully he's back on the pitch soon," Mark smiled, taking a seat across Donghyuck after greeting the other boys at the table.

"Donghyuck-ie," the ice-blond boy you had seen tearing up the pitch on TV was now stood in front of you with a smile.

"Hyung," Donghyuck whimpered, tackling his former captain in a hug, "You did so well, hyung."

"Thank you, Hyuck. Next time, you'll be there with us," Taeyong squeezed him before letting go, "Yuta's not here yet, is he?"

"Still on vacation in Japan. When do you go back to Madrid? I think you'll be able to catch him," Hyuck replied.

"In a week, so I think so too."

Taeyong and Yuta were best friends- the first versions of Mark and Haechan. After being scouted, they trained together in the youth academy after Yuta moved from Japan and broke into the reserves and first team together. Taeyong and Yuta eventually became captain and vice-captain of NCT FC for a long period, until Taeyong was bought by Real Madrid the season prior.

"How's Madrid? You're doing so well. What's it like playing with Cristiano Ronaldo?" Renjun tugged at Taeyong's sleeve, also hugging him. Even though Renjun and Taeyong failed to play often together, Taeyong had adopted a mother-like role towards everyone in the club, including the B-team reserves.

"He's good- a real world-class player mentality. Don't tell anyone though, but he's leaving Madrid this summer and is going to sign a contract in a few days," Taeyong teased, "Don't tell anyone!"

The group of you laughed at his serious order and nodded. Taeyong was living the life in Madrid, but he admitted that he really missed everyone at the club and missed home a lot. It wasn't easy going home to Korea often since Madrid was so far.

Donghyuck introduced you to the rest of the team that you hadn't met yet, including Jungwoo who played abroad but also came from NCT FC. You met Johnny, and was in even more awe of how big of a presence he had since he was so tall. You had guessed anyway from the way he commandeered the goal and box. Jaehyun was as nice as you expected him to be- a real gentleman- and Doyoung had the same motherly vibe as Taeyong had. Taeil was one of the eldest, but was still so youthful at heart. You were glad to have met them, since they seemed like such incredible, humble players.

Eventually, you were led back to the original table so that you could eat and converse with Mark, who made himself comfortable catching up with Jaemin and Renjun especially.

"Aren't they nice? The hyungs?" Donghyuck smiled proudly to himself.

"I already knew how great this team was, but they just reinforced it. I can see why everyone wants to stay or come back or retire here," you said. This team really did seem like a family.

"I'm very proud of this team," Donghyuck stated, "Both NCT FC and the national team. It's okay, Y/N, I think I'm going to be able to move past all this."

You smiled gently, "I'm really happy for you."

-

"I can drive if you want," you offered for the 5th time as you approached his car.

"Y/N. I'm fine. I can drive. I don't have a knee brace anymore and I've driven a few times this week," he affirmed, getting into the driver's seat.

You slid into the passenger seat, crossing your arms after buckling the seatbelt, "You'll tell me if it's too much right? So we can swap?"

"You're too worried," he rolled his eyes jokingly, "For someone who's a physio student, you sure aren't up to date with what I can do at 6 weeks."

"It's not about timelines, it's about feelings," you grumbled as he set off.

"And i'm feeling okay," he grinned cheekily.

It was about 2 weeks after his cast was taken off, but this was the only date you were able to coordinate in your days off together. Hyuck had been pondering where to take you on your date for weeks, and he only just settled on an idea. The location wasn't even far, so you were worrying about nothing. He had been stressing what kind of vibe to go on- did you want to have an adventure, activity-filled date? Or a more laid-back chill one? Or somewhere in the middle?

The two of you continued in casual conversation on the drive there. You found out that he was from Jeju Island and was scouted at 11 to come and train at the NCT FC academy where he then lived since. His family remained in Jeju, so he considered those at the club his family in Seoul. He found out that you lived in England for a few years during your adolescence, but chose to come back to Seoul 4 years later to study at university. This then led to a laughing-fit inducing conversation that Hyuck tried to hold with you in just straight english. He wasn't bad, but he made everything he did humorous in order to brighten up the world.

Eventually, Donghyuck pulled up in the parking lot of a pretty, but relatively quiet park on the outskirts of the city. You both got out, and you lost sight of the footballer until you realised he had circled to the boot of the car and was now carrying a traditional woven picnic basket.

"We're having a picnic?" your heart melted; Donghyuck was so soft.

He grinned, "Yes, but not here. We have a little bit of walking to do."

Donghyuck then rested the basket on the crook of his arm and took your hand with the other. Every time he did this, it made you blush like crazy and you wondered if this boy would ever stop making you feel so flustered. Hyuck seemed to always just take your hand on instinct if he was taking you somewhere. It was like it was so natural to him, but it always made your head spin. Maybe you were whipped for him.

Donghyuck led you through the main park and then got to the edge where there was a large wall of bushes. He followed the bush to the corner edge, where there was a narrow break in the bush that was easy to miss if you weren't looking. On the other side was another large field that stretched on further than the pristine park, but this time, the field was a little overgrown and the best part- it was blooming with flowers.

"This is so pretty," you gasped, "How did you find this?"

"One time, me and the boys were kicking a football about in the main park and then Chenle accidentally kicked the ball into here. I come here for peace because it's so pretty. C'mon, there's a river over there."

The two of you continued further down to the right where the ground sloped down and you could see a pristine stream splashing against the rocks. The grass shortened down and the slope flattened out to a perfect place to have a picnic.

Hyuck fished a large blanket out of the basket and laid it down before taking off his shoes and inviting you to do the same.

He was now sat cross-legged in front of you, eyes wide and expectant, "Do you like it? Is this okay?"

You squeezed his hand, "More than okay, Hyuck."

The two of you hadn't been alone together outside of the facility other than when you got coffee together once after training and you drove him home. It was nice to be able to spend time with each other and really determine how you felt and where you wanted this to go. You knew how you felt, but you were still cautious to fall in case he didn't reciprocate. Why wouldn't he though? He kissed you first and he asked you on a date and he was the one that made all the moves.

Donghyuck began dishing out the food and drinks in the basket and you noticed how he brought some of the snacks you said were your favourite.

"Do you miss them already? Nana and Renjun?" you asked.

"Not enough to willingly admit," he squinted at you, "But I do only get to see them once a year in the summer- twice if we meet up for the winter holidays. It would be so much easier if they were just in the same league or country or continent, even. Instead, they're a 15-hour flight away. But their best chance for their career is Dortmund- Dortmund develop young players into superstars, and I know that's what they will be."

You sighed in agreement. Jaemin and Renjun had left a few days earlier to return to Germany and restart their training. It had been an emotional goodbye between the boys when Nana and Renjun dropped by the training grounds with their rolling suitcases and a sad smile.

"It's a testament to your bond and friendship how close you remain even from afar," you said, "Real brotherhood."

"That's what 7 years of trauma being told to kick a ball rain or shine does for you," he snorted, passing you a small brownie, "I'm kidding. I love my job."

"Everywhere I go, everyone talks about how great you are- how you're Korea's future. Doesn't that get hard?" you were wary asking, but you wanted to know.

He sighed and glanced down to his knee that was now free from a cast but still not to full strength like before, "I never thought it could be hard. Sure, I have game days that I don't play my best- everyone does. But I knew that was normal so I never beat myself up about it. I've only been starting for a season and a half, but something in me always steps up for my club and country when they need it. This though?" he jabbed at the knee, "This has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. Any severe injury like this will always be. I don't want to be kept out of the squad for 6, 7, 8 months. I don't want this so-called rest that everyone's telling me about. The hardest part about this is that I can't play."

You stared at him in awe. Maybe it was because he was only 18 that the fire in his eyes was still lit up. Maybe the multiple years of fouls and defeat and failures hadn't overcome him yet, but you loved the way he talked about football like it was his first love- because it was. You were yet to find anyone else in any other profession to love their job this much.

"Why are you staring at me?" he broke out into the familiar whiny Donghyuck tone.

You giggled and leaned in close but not close enough to touch him or even feel his breath on your face, "I think you're so adorable."

Donghyuck felt a strong surge of bravery as he closed the gap between your faces and pecked your lips swiftly, "And I think you're beautiful."

You pulled away in a little daze, cheeks painted red like they had been so often since you met the boy, "Hyuck!"

"Do you not like it?" he pouted, sipping his drink and sulking. He knew the answer, but he loved having his ego stroked.

"I hate you," you mumbled as you leaned over again and captured his lips.

This time, Hyuck tightly wrapped both muscular arms around your waist and hoisted you from your cross-legged position to fall on top of him. Donghyuck leant back so the two of you were lying down on top of the blanket, lips attached and moving freely together.

"I really like you, Y/N-ah," he mumbled against your lips as the two of you caught your breath. You hummed in acknowledgement, parting his lips with yours once more until he pulled away, frowning, "I want to hear you say it. You haven't."

You chuckled at the boy, "I like you too, Hyuck. You know I do."

"Yeah, I do," he smirked, pressing his lips to yours for what wouldn't be the last time that day.

-

What ensued after your date was some of the most fun you'd had in a long time. While your relationship wasn't forbidden by a long shot, the both of you thought it would be fun to sneak around and act like teenagers (which you both were) in high school sneaking around their friends. It was just for the experience, but it was exhilarating.

The butterflies in your stomach fluttered whenever you'd catch Hyuck's knowing and teasing gazes at the training ground and your heart sped up uncontrollably when he'd pull you into a dark corner away from cameras to give you a peck and let you go before you passed him and parted your separate ways. On the days that you were working with him and the physiotherapists, Donghyuck's touches would linger just a few seconds longer and he was much more comfortable towards you observably. Even the boys didn't know because Donghyuck wondered how long he could keep such a big thing from them. Mark was definitely suspicious- Donghyuck knew that much- but it was hard to keep a secret when Donghyuck had a loud laugh that would ring out through the walls every night when Donghyuck would call you and you'd fall asleep on the phone together.

The secret touches and quick kisses were enough for you to go crazy and spiral down the hole of falling for Lee Donghyuck. While he hadn't asked you to be his girlfriend, you felt like it and you were content with what you had.

Soon enough, August rolls around and Donghyuck's training began intensifying 2 months after his surgery. He was doing much better and was at the gym of the facility more often doing weight training and exercises to keep his fitness up. Soon enough, he had been doing light jogging on the treadmill unassisted by a brace. He knew that he had a long way to go- he wouldn't return before 6 months as to not risk his knee. He surely wouldn't be able to play a full 90 at least until the seasons change and the year comes to a close, but he was taking it one day at a time. That's not to say that it wasn't frustrating that he hadn't so much as kicked a football in two months because, by God, it was the most frustrating thing that had happened to him, but he couldn't reverse time and instead just had to accept and look forward to healing.

Today, you were given the morning off to return to the university campus for some paperwork to do in order to start your second year, but you came in after lunch bright-eyed with an iced coffee in hand. You quickly learned that Junghwan didn't like iced coffee all that much and was very particular in how he took his coffee, so you left the coffee making to him for himself, and Hyuck got too jittery before crashing if he had a lot of caffeine in the afternoon.

"Hi," you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you saw Junghwan stood outside the clinic that was on the way to the gym where you usually met up with him and whoever he was taking care of at that present moment, "Is anyone hurt?"

Junghwan sighed deeply and pressed his lips into a thin line, "Donghyuck took a knock on his other leg earlier. It's not severe- it'll only set him back a week at most, but I think he's in shock. He doesn't want to talk to me, that little brat, but maybe you can try."

A chuckle replaced the shocked and worried expression on your face, but inside, your stomach was churning in hurt for the boy, "I'll try my best and see what I can get out of him."

Junghwan stepped aside and let you knock. You heard a low grumble of "Hyung, I said leave me alone!"

You called out, "It's Y/N, Hyuck."

You might've imagined the faint "oh" that escaped his lips, but you took his pure silence as permission to come in. He could always tell you to leave anyway.

When you walked in, Hyuck was curled up on the clinic bed, with his eyes closed and his breaths deep.

"Hyuck?"

"I'm sleeping."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am," he curled up tighter and faced the wall.

You sat on the edge of the bed, "What happened Donghyuck?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he mumbled into the pillow he was hugging, "Can't I just have a day off and rest?"

"That's what you're doing anyway," you teased, "I'm also here to help with your rehab, Hyuck, so I'd really like it if you told me what happened and how you're feeling."

He sighed and moved the pillow away from his face so that he wasn't muffled, but he still neglected to face you, "I was jogging and my other leg gave out. It's just strained because I've been putting all the pressure on the other leg while trying to keep pressure off my injured knee."

"It's not serious, Hyuck," you reached up and stroked his hair, "Are you okay though Emotionally?"

"When I felt the pain surge through, I thought I re-injured my knee- that I pushed it too far. I'm scared shitless of re-injury because that's what keeps players out for years, if not ending their career. I'm just recovering from the shock."

"You're okay, you're okay," you cooed, running your hands through his hair comfortingly.

He pouted, "Can I have a kiss?"

You chuckled, remembering that there were no cameras in the clinic to protect patient confidentiality. You leaned down and met his pouting lips with yours.

"Hyuck, we heard what happened. Oh my God are you oka- OH MY GOD!" five boys burst into the room, and were quickly halted to a stop by what was in front of them.

So much for keeping the secret.

Yukhei folded his arms and laughed, "Is this why you were so protective and jealous at the hospital when I visited?"

Mark, Chenle, Jeno and Jisung gawked, mouths agape.

"I suspected you had a girlfriend, but Y/N?" Mark uttered.

You moved away from Hyuck, your face resembling a tomato with the red reaching the tips of your ears, "It's not what it looks like."

"Are you sure? Cause it sure looks like you're ready to devour Donghyuck. Your hands were in his hair!" Jeno accused.

"You guys are nasty," Chenle scrunched up his face, "At the training facility? Really? On the clinic bed?"

"We weren't doing anything like that," Donghyuck launched a pillow at the Chinese boy, "You're the nasty one."

Jisung closed the door behind him and you prayed Junghwan wasn't still hanging around. While he said you could date the team, you didn't want to create a different dynamic than the perfect one you had already set up with Junghwan and Donghyuck as a trio.

"How long has it been?" Yukhei pressed on, completely intrigued by the situation. Sure, he thought you were pretty, but he had no problems backing off if you were taken.

"We kissed at the apartment when Y/N came around for the game against Germany," Donghyuck reluctantly admitted. You were still quiet and still flushed.

"So what you're saying is you have us to thank for inviting Y/N since your coward ass didn't want to," Jeno placed his hands on his hips and smirked, "Is this even allowed?"

Mark punched his arm, "We're not idols; we don't have a dating ban. Plus, Y/N's only here for the summer right? The rest of the month?"

You nodded slowly, trying to take in how casually they took it.

"Then it's fine," Mark affirmed, "Have you told hyung?"

Donghyuck looked past Mark as if Junghwan was stood on the other side of the door, "No. We'd prefer if no one did either. We just want to stay lowkey to maintain the environment we have already."

The boys nodded slowly before Chenle came to a realisation, "Wait! We literally forgot why we came here. Hyuck what happened?"

Donghyuck started laughing at their forgetfulness, "I'm fine, guys."

Sensing their concern for their best friend, you took it as an opportunity to leave and give the boys their own time. Junghwan hadn't been standing outside the door when you exited, so you made your way to the gym to see if he was there or if there was anyone that you could help. To your luck, Junghwan was already working with Jaehyun and seemed as if he had been there a while.

"How's the little drama queen?"

"He's fine. He just got a bit scared like you said and the boys are there now so they're sure to cheer him up. What's the plan looking like, then?"

"Well, the season's coming into full force now and I keep reviewing his plan and trying to aim for mid-January at the earliest to get him to play on the pitch. I think we're looking good, fingers crossed. What's your take?"

You appreciated that Junghwan was a considerate mentor and even asked you of your opinion and views, "I think Donghyuck is really working hard to get back and I'm only here for another couple of weeks, but I keep telling him to make sure to not work himself too hard or else we'll keep getting incidents like today. Overall, I've never seen someone more determined to recover and I've only been shadowing injuries for a year," you explained your thought process carefully.

"I've been doing this for decades and even I agree with you," Junghwan nodded, "That Lee Donghyuck is a special boy."

-

Two weeks later, you were standing in the middle of the communal room with a box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers and a folded up NCT FC T-shirt with your name on the back. It was your official last day at the club and it was fair to say that you were emotional. Although a lot of your time was spent with Donghyuck and his recovery, you had also spent time with everyone else at the club and formed amicable relations that you would never forget. Who could say that they formed bonds with some of the most famous football players in Korea over the course of one summer?

Your now boyfriend Donghyuck was holding a gift bag filled with other goodies and keepsakes to remind you of your time at the club, and NCT FC's coach had been telling you all through your farewell event how you should come and watch a match for free any time you wanted at the grounds. You were definitely going to take advantage of that.

Junghwan was also emotional to see you go, never having had a student so engaged in what they were doing. He was going to miss your help around the club and expertise at reigning in a moody or excitable Donghyuck. Speaking of- he had been jokingly disappointed when the two of you revealed your relationship to him, but he also noted that it was kind of obvious or inevitable.

"She'll be coming with me to all the matches I come and watch this season, won't you?" Donghyuck slung his arm around your shoulders, "And then she'll be there watching when I get back on the pitch."

You poked his cheek, "Of course. And I'm going to miss you all so much! I have to get back to lectures and deadlines and studying so this will definitely be the most fun I'll have all year."

You looked fondly at everyone around you, from the staff who welcomed you so warmly, to all the players who trusted you generously. It was the summer of a lifetime and you felt so blessed to come out of the experience with so many more friends, knowledge and life skills.

-

The ambience within the stadium grounds was nothing short of electric on a chilly clear night. The media had been building up to this night for weeks and weeks, and fans were decked out in their best NCT FC gear. The stadium was vibrating with loud cheers and chanting as the players emerged from the tunnel and lined up in the middle of the pitch. There was a sea of bright green wrapping around the stadium, only interrupted by the shirts and flags of the opposing team's fans. It was derby night; two rival teams were going head to head and it was always an exciting, coveted night.

Last out the tunnel, with his hairs standing up all over his body as he stepped out onto the pitch, was Lee Donghyuck. The glimmer had returned to his eyes and his heart was beating for the excitement he felt after months and months of longing for this moment. His best friend clapped him on the back once they finished lining up and a grin invaded his previously anxious face.

This was it, he thought looking around at the bright green shirts, flags, banners and painted faces- this was home.

Nothing felt better than slipping on his jersey with DONGHYUCK 10 on the back. Chills ran through his entire body when his face appeared on the broadcast screens and the entire stadium erupted in roars for how much they missed their club's generational talent.

Somewhere up in the boxes was you, holding your little brother's hand a little too tightly in anticipation of Donghyuck's first match and return to the pitch. It was unusual to not have Donghyuck beside you in the box. Instead, you were relying on your sharp vision and the screens to show you the boy who deserved this moment more than anything else. He had been talking about his return seriously for a couple of months, and this match felt like the one to return to as a full-circle moment, as this was the team they were playing when Donghyuck was injured at the end of the previous season. Thankfully, the player that had injured him was sent off on loan to a different tea, and Donghyuck wouldn't have to face that team until the end of the season.

Once Yuta and the other team's captain made all the decisions on which side to shoot and who was kicking off, Donghyuck made his way to his position, right at the centre and heading the team. With Ten on his right and Yuta on his left and Mark right behind him, Donghyuck felt safe and comfortable and all he really wanted was the ball at his feet under their loyal supporters' hopeful gazes.

In a split second, the whistle blew and as if his instincts had not diminished over the past 7 months, his body raged into game mode.

After the game, it felt as if Donghyuck was in shock. He was looking around aimlessly, trying to latch himself onto something concrete to settle his brain. Once changed, he exited the dressing room and found you waiting expectantly.

You crushed him in a hug, "I'm so proud of you."

The boy finally relaxed his tense muscles and wrapped his arms around your waist, "That was amazing. I'm so happy."

"How's your knee feeling, you superstar?" you teased, "You're a bit of a show-off aren't you?"

"My knee is achy but just the normal post-match kind of ache all over the body," and then he smirked, "I had to give them payback and show the fans what they've been missing all this season."

Lee Donghyuck, like the showoff he was, decided to net a hat-trick of 3 goals solely in the second half of the game. Maybe the defenders weren't prepared to work in the way Donghyuck made them work, especially after a long injury, but Donghyuck proved he was again incredibly fit and harboured the same talent even after 6 or 7 months.

"You are amazing," you scrunched your face at him and tightened your hug around him.

Lee Donghyuck exhaled in relief. If you had asked him 7 months ago on that night that he sustained his injury, he wouldn't have been able to imagine his life 7 months down the road. He wouldn't have said that he would have a girlfriend or even that he was happier than ever even after missing so much of the season. After tonight, he knew that speculations would go up and rumours would start and the price tag over his head would increase. He knew that people would already be looking forward to the next Asian Cup, and heck, even the next World Cup, but at this current moment of time, with your arms wrapped around him and your head nuzzled into his neck and breathing words of praise into his ears, he was content.

-------------------------------------------

author's note; if you read this to the end, i want to thank you so sincerely. this work is my baby and i feel so protective over it. as you might've been able to tell, it was a bit all over the place with its pacing and its characterization and the switching between donghyuck and y/n's pov was a bit frustrating for me. however, football is something that i love so much and i wrote books on wattpad with hundreds of thousands of reads that mean so much to me and gave me the foundation for all my writing on this blog. this fic was so hard to finish and i still had so many ideas (like, where was donghyuck going to end up at the end of the season? would he transfer? what would happen to their relationship?) and i wanted to explore more of y/n's character as i focused more on hyuck and y/n is a bit mary-sue-ish but as i said, i wanted nothing more than to be done with this story and get it out. if you have any thoughts, let me know and thank you for reading <3

[stay-midnight]

Fun through Harsh Times

Kim Seungmin x Male Reader x Bang Chan

W.C: 4.8K Words

Triggers: Explicit Smut, Human Discrimination, Conflict at the end, Some angst too.

THINGS TO NOTE: Demigod AU!! Seungmin - Son of Athena, Chan — Son of Demeter, Hyunjin — Son of Nemesis, Changbin — Son of Hades. Human Reader

Kinks/Warnings: Dom/Top Seungmin, Switch/Verse Reader, Sub/Bottom Bang Chan, Anal Sex, Unprotected Sex (make sure to cover the d to prevent std~), Buttplugs, Cuckolding, Daddy Kink, Master Kink, Use of Vines, Seungmin has a big dick, Degradation, Punishments, Usage of a different petnames, Biting, Mutual Masturbation, Lots of Cum, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Crying, Nipple Play, Ass Slapping, Use of Abilities and Powers during Sex, Bruises, Rough Sex, Soft Aftercare.

A/N: my works are getting longer I- and ooh~ this is my second? third? fic this month omg hshshsh. Also, I reread this alot of times to make sure it's okay cuz i didn't like it's based form so i had to rewrite and add new things. 💀💀, anygays hopefully you guys like this! oh and after the changbin fic which I may start writing at the 20th, in June i may open requests! this time though, ill accept three to not stress myself 💀.

You carefully remove the bread from the oven as to not burn yourself, looking at the clearly displeased customer at a call at how slow-paced you were working. You finally placed the bought breads at a plastic bag, handing it to him with a fake smile.

“Sorry, the dumb fucking human was too slow.” The customer spoke to the phone loud enough for you to catch as he walked away in a bad mood.

You sighed tiredly, remembering the amount of discrimination you received after living here for these past few months.

When Seungmin asked you to live with him and Chan at the island, you were ecstatic since you thought it would be amazing to move in with your boyfriends.

All your expectations were shut down as soon as the demigods that lived in the island clearly were not happy with you arriving. The constant murmurs and the glares were enough to tell you so.

Though, Seungmin and Chan didn't know how badly people treated you in the bakery.

You didn't wanna burden them as you were already thankful of living with them.

Changbin was there in the bakery with you anyway, if someone gets too harsh on you Bin was always there to scare them away.

Changbin was scary at first when you started working with him, when you found out he was Hades’ son — you were extremely careful to not get sent to the underworld. As time passed by, you found out he was extremely soft, so you became good friends with the man.

You blink tiredly as you picked up your bag and hauled it over your shoulder, before placing the "close" sign outside and bringing down the metal bars.

“I’m heading home now Binnie!” you shouted to the male at the back that was arranging boxes. You remove your apron, seconds later before fixing up your shirt and brushing your hair off your face.

“Bye! Stay safe on the way home, Y/N!” Changbin shouted back before groaning loudly and loud thud sound. You were about to check on him before he shouted again.

“I’m okay! Stupid box just fell..” he said out. You chuckle and slowly moved away.

“Be careful more, Bin!” you said back, before finally taking your leave with a last okay, bye! from him.

. . .

You sighed as you continued walking back to where you’re residing in — Seungmin’s mansion.

Seungmin has many times told you that you didn't need to work or and he could send a driver to pick you up. You rejected both offer, since you wanted to work and atleast help pay for your food. You also rejected the offer about the pick-up driver, opting to walk home instead.

Humming as you scrolled through the social media on your phone, you continuously walked to the direction of the place you called home with a smile on your face as you read through the cat posts.

You looked around a bit and caught the looks of disgust on the face of the nearby citizens causing you to freeze — before slowly moving again, trying to ignore them.

“What’s with them against humans anyways.” you whisper lowly as you try to ignore them, a slight pang shot through your heart, sad when you heard something.

“What did Athena’s son see in him anyways, he already has Demeter's boy. Why bring a human into the mix.” A lady near you harshly whispered.

You bit your lips trying to contain your flaring anger at her — trying to relax your nerves that was begging to have a go at her, just so you could finally arrive at the house.

. . .

You sighed in relief at the sight of the mansion gate, before even tapping the doorbell — you were greeted by the sight of the most beautiful emerald eyes, smiling brightly with dimples shown.

“Y/N~!” said male shouted in an excited manner, he looked as pretty as always and you just can't help falling for him like the day you first met.

All invasive thoughts left your mind at the sight of your bright and caring lover.

“Hi Channie~” you greeted as the gates slowly retracted to the side, removing the barrier between both of you. He ran to you and threw himself at you to which you caught him happily.

He then wrapped his arms around your neck and kissed you in a endearing way. “Where is Seung?” you ask after a bit, taking a peek at the front garden.

He let out a frown before grabbing your hand and led you through the path, “He.. He... still hasn't returned.. It’s been four days.” Chan said in a melancholic tone, his once bright eyes dimmed in sadness.

You look at him before taking notice that the plants at the sides were drying up and water was coming out of them. You frowned at the sight of it and continued as Chan led you inside.

“Chan... Seung has a lot of duties, he—” you waved your hand away at the maid entering with food to which she nods and leaves before continuing, “He has a lot on his shoulders especially dealing with the rebels, okay?” you reassured him, gently patting his head that was hung low.

Chan nodded understandingly before turning to you and leaning closer for a kiss on the lips to which you happily obliged — kissing him dearly.

“So no more, moping around. He wouldn't want that would he?” you smiled at him to which he nods at your words and gave you a lovely smile.

“He wouldn't..” he trailed off before climbing on to your lap to which you held him, you were still loving the fact that despite Chan being older than you and Min, he is the cutest.

Sure, Seungmin is cute as well but he has that scary side of him which leaves everyone shaking.

You buried your face on the neck of your lover and sighed. Chan smelled like flowers — fresh flowers to say the least, which calmed your nerves a bit. Chan giggles at you tickling his neck with your breath to which you cooed slightly.

A knock was heard from outside the door on the room you were both in, “Come in!” you said loudly for the person to hear.

A guard suddenly opened the door, “Sire’s.” he bowed deeply, “Uh, Sir Seungmin is coming home later at around an hour or so..” he said, pressing his lips to a thin line at the silent air he got and the stares from both of you.

The guard looked at you with a frown before smiling at the sight Chan. You looked at him with a saddened look to which he took note off, clearly trying not to scoff.

Chan also was suspicious at how the low demigod looked at you differently, Chan immediately raised his eyebrows at the guard

“He just wanted to let both of you know..” the guard quickly stated before leaving and shutting the door quickly due to the awkward tension he felt.

Chan bursted in a happy frenzy when the man left as he launched himself to hug you.

The flowers at the table suddenly bloomed after Chan’s was excited.

Chan slowly climbed off your lap and sat on the bed — he turned to you before raising both his eyebrows in a teasing

Then Chan smirked at you seconds later, his mind whirring thoughts. “Wanna give him a surprise?” he murmured.

You raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in demeanor — This was the Chan that teased both you and Seungmin in bed, the Chan that always had bratty plans in mind — the Chan that loved to be punished by Seungmin.

You nod without even knowing what will happen — little did you know about what’s Seungmin is gonna do to both of you later.

. . .

You look at Chan as if he was a crazy person, “Chan, are you sure? You know how Seung is when we start things without h-him?” you said in shock at the idea, shivering and stuttering at the thought when Seungmin caught both of you fucking without him. Let’s just say neither Chan or you could sit properly for days.

He tilted his head and smiled, “Cmon, Y/N.. It’ll be fun! Plus, he left us hanging for four days.” you look at Chan before sighing in defeat.

You knew Seungmin was just doing his job as Athena’s Son so Chan’s reason wasn't justifiable to say the least. But how Seungmin punished both of you was really hot at that time.. And you wouldn't mind seeing it again.

“Fine...” you said — giving in to Chan’s request, even though knowing it was a scary and terrible idea. Chan held out his hand before a pink flower and with red edges at their pollens appeared.

“Is that one of your drug flowers, again Channie?—” you asked, looked at him confused. To which Chan giggled and nodded repeatedly.

Chan is a son of Demeter, meaning he has control over nature’s plants, he is one of the tender of green life in the island but usually he isn't on duty because there are other children of Demeter on this island. You didn't know though, that Chan could create special types of flowers that contain a drug or an effect in them when inhaling their scent. The first drug flower you saw was a grey flower — it makes people fall asleep fast.

“What is it?” you asks, eyeing the flower carefully, he grinned at you before saying, “Aphrodisiac.” he said, moving the flower closer to your face.

You look at him before covering your nose immediately, “Why?!” you said through your hand, not wanting to inhale more of its alluring scent.

A smirk was back on his lips, “Maybe it’ll make you hornier therefore, maybe you can fuck me rougher?” he said teasingly before withdrawing the dangerous drug from your face.

You let go of your nose and sighed, “You could just ask..?” He looked at you straight in the eyes as you finished your statement — Chan’s orbs glinting with arousal, the aphrodisiac flower in his hand slowly wilted to gray dust.

“Hm? Would you be rough with me then?” He purred, pushing you down the bed — his emerald orbs staring down to yours, He grinded his ass on your clothed cock in a teasing manner.

A grin was plastered on his face before you switched positions with him, his back hitting the bed softly. He gasped, clearly suprised with the action.

You had both of his hands pinned on top of his head in a heartbeat causing Chan to squirm against your grip, “You’re such a brat, baby~... And I don't like brats.” you said the last part with a glare. He whined before looking up at you with puppy eyes, to which you chuckled at.

“That won’t work Channie.” you said, biting his neck harshly — him releasing a loud moan at the pain, Chan was such a painslut — he got off to Seungmin’s punishments so you expected no less.

You slowly lowered Chan’s shorts that he was wearing. Smiling at the growing dark spot at the middle of his underwear. “Already leaking? What a slutty baby, I have~” You taunted, squeezing his growing erection as you pressed your own clothed bulge against his thigh.

Chan moaned loudly at what you said his dick hardening even more.

You clicked your tongue in annoyance at the clothes you were both wearing.

You made quick work of the clothes on Chan’s body and yours as well. You noticed that vines with pink roses had appeared at the corners of the room, to which you smiled at — it shows that Chan was extremely needy.

You look at Chan — bare as the day he was born, your eyes raked over his form — from his face that had a red hue to the, to his chest and those beautiful pink buds — and to his pretty pink dick that was leaking precum down to his balls. He was so beautiful — inside and out. Fuck, his delicate pale skin was very enticing to fill with marks.

You wanted to ravage this man in front of you and savour the pleasure.

Chan let out a whine, “D— Do something, master...” he said, to which you raised an eyebrow at the sudden nickname.

You never expected Chan to call you that, so you looked at him with widened eyes before regaining your composure and moved closer to Chan as you hovered over him.

You lift his legs up shortly, licking your lips at the puckered hole — already shining and wet. “You prepped yourself already?” You ask, softly touching the ring of muscles with your thumb — gently.

He nods repeatedly, rolling his hips down impatiently — wanting some form of penetration, “Stay still, dumb pup.” you said harshly before finally shoving two fingers at his wet hole immediately. Feeling his walls clench against your digits.

“M-Master, please.... Puppy don’t need more stretching, puppy just wanna be fucked.” He begged, a tear slowly falling off his red cheeks.

You hummed, acknowledging his request — you took a condom from the drawer to which he pouted before plants came out of your hands and snagged the condom away and back to the drawer. “No condoms please...” he said, looking at you with a pout.

You smiled and lined up your tip against his lubricated hole — you smiled at his babbling words at the pressure on his entrance.

You spread his legs further — almost bending him in half, you cooed at the sight of his leaking cock — dripping a lot against his abs. You then slowly sink in to the welcoming warmth, savouring how his walls spazzes around your size.

“Ah f-fuck, puppy...” you almost howled out as your hips hit his ass. Chan was so cute — his eyes stinging with tears as he let out small moans. His chest was heaving and red was spreading all over his chest.

“M-Master, move. move, p-please...” He whined out, pushing himself back on your cock. You grinned as you remember his request earlier about being rough.

You pulled out slowly, before snapping your hips back as you fucked him precisely but rough at the same time. His useless cock was now oozing with cum at the tip. “F— Fuck fuck fuck.” he chanted repeatedly with every snap of your hips, as he rolled his eyes back at the pleasure.

You see red at the sight of Chan moaning "Master" while also cursing at the same time. You grip his muscular thighs as you pull him back on your cock, thrusting up to him in sequence.

“Pup, I’m close... God, you feel so good around me..” Chan moaned in response as you leaned down to bite a pink nipple, the bud hardening against your teeth as he arch his back against you at the sensation.

You disconnected your lips from his perked bud so you could take a look at the beautiful man underneath you.

Chan looked so fucked out, his hair was disheveled and his green eyes were shining through his tears. You were almost proud at how much you fucked Chan dumb.

“Cumming!! Master, ah~” he sniffed as he felt his cock shoot out spurts of white, reaching up to his pec — decorating his chest in his white sperm.

His walls clenched around you in a tight grip as you let out a low moan of your own as you emptied yourself inside of him — filling him up as you gripped his hips in a bruising way.

Chan’s body were trembling from the aftershock of his orgasm, you pecked his lips and smiled as you look down at him, his chest heaving and sweat and cum mixing on his pretty skin.

“I’m pulling out Channie, is that okay?” You asked in a warm tone, softly brushing your hand through his hair to relax him.

“Plug..?” he breathed out as you nod before reaching out to one of the drawers and pulling out a medium-sized buttplug before slowly pulling out of him — placing the plug to keep Chan full of your warm liquid.

He sighed in relief and smiled at you to which you smiled back, “I’ll go get a towel to clean you up, alright?” you said before getting up and placing your boxers on.

He hummed in agreement as he just laid there a bit tired of the activities.

. .

You opened the door out the room to run to the bathroom before a voice behind you stopped you, “Had fun, Y/N?” the male voice said in a cold tone.

You turned back and saw Seungmin standing, leaning at the wall as he looked at you with deadly eyes. “You both started without me.” he said blankly before trudging towards you as you stood there with cold feet.

“Why don’t you tell me, love. Who wanted it more?” Seungmin whispered to your ear when he stood in front of you his hand trailing down to your ass before grabbing a cheek.

“I— I did.”

He slapped your ass firmly — a moan slipped out of your lips from that. His eyes flashed a dangerous pink hue before it returned to normal. “Do you think you could lie to me?” he hissed out.

“A-Ah... Channie did..” You gulped at the slight anger that was hidden in his voice.

“As expected.” he chuckled darkly before pulling on your arm, slowly dragging you back to the room.

. .

A sudden opening of the door, made the tired Chan jump up from the bed. His mouth opened in shock as Seungmin was there with a grip on you.

Seungmin wanted to coo at Chan’s expression but instead kept his act on.

“Sit on the bed.” he said referring to you, to which you complied to easily. He silently grabbed the bottle of lube at a drawer — yours and Chan’s eyes following his form as he does so.

Seungmin then removed his clothes with ease, you almost drooling at his large length to which you eyed like candy, to which Seungmin took notice and almost smiled — just barely stopping himself from doing so.

“Tie yourself up, puppy.” Seungmin said in a voice of authority to which Chan lightly whimpered at, he nods slightly before placing his hand above his head and against the headboard.

A gasp left your lips as vines started to wrap and thicken around Chan’s wrists, tightening up and securing Chan on the side of the bed.

It always shocks you when Seung uses that ability he was blessed with, "Voice of Authority" as the demigods call it. Whenever Seungmin uses it, most weaker demigods will get on there knees and comply but much stronger ones can resist it. Whenever Seungmin uses it on humans though, it gives him perfect control over them.

— Seungmin promised you he will never use it on you as he doesn't want to take away your free will.

Seungmin sat on the bed, grabbing you and placing you on his lap harshly before he moved you and himself so he could face Chan.

His cock was hardening on your back as he bit your neck softly, he looked at Chan with a smirk, “Tell me puppy, what did you call Y/N earlier again?”

Chan looked at you and whined as his cock started to spring up. “I c-called him, m-master...” he said, looking at Seungmin with puppy eyes as his hole clearly clenched around the buttplug.

Seungmin chuckled as he kissed your shoulder, “And who am I to you, pretty?” Seungmin whispered in your ears huskily, clearly noticing your cock straining against your boxers.

“D— Daddy..” you asked, embarrassed as you felt Chan’s gaze upon you, a gasp left you as Seungmin pulled down your boxers in one go, his hands trailing over your thighs.

He lifted you up a bit so that your hole was exposed to Chan and so that his hands could near it.

He popped the bottle of lube open, circling your rim with a wet finger. You let out a sigh of pleasure when a finger finally went into you, slowly — it wasn't enough though, you needed more.

Seungmin took your hips rocking as a go sign as another finger joined inside till it finally became three moments later, you were bouncing on his slender fingers now and Chan was watching all of this unfold with tired eyes but his cock that was standing provided enough that Seungmin knows that he is still needy.

“Want your cock, da— daddy..” you begged out in a high voice, wanting the man behind you to fully destroy you already.

Seungmin turned to Chan that was rubbing his legs together uncomfortably — in need of some sort of friction. “Look at your master being a pathetic cockslut, Channie~” he mocked you, to which Chan let out a short “M—Mmph~”

You whimper at what Seungmin had said.

Before he lifted you up and slowly brung you down on his large dick, your back flushed against his chest.

Chan moaned at the sight of your hole taking in Seungmin’s cock deliciously while you had drool dripping down your cheek at the amazing stretch.

Chan whined against his restraints as his cock leaked as much as it could.

You lay your head back on Seungmin’s shoulder as you panted in pleasure, Seungmin nuzzled his head on your shoulder before using his fingers to pulling at your nipples.

You moaned loudly when Seungmin shifted a bit causing his cock inside to prod your bundle of sensitive nerves.

Seungmin pulled you off his dick slowly before slamming you back down, causing you to let out a cry as your hole clenched around his girth repeatedly.

“Doing so good, baby.. You feel so tight around me, yeah? Well this is gonna be a long punishment isn’t it? Let’s if you can walk tomorrow, love~” He hummed, kissing the back of your ear as you let out whimpers of pleasure.

He then look at Chan who was still messy but pretty, “Don’t think you’re out of the punishment though, slut. You’re not gonna cum as you watch me destroy your cocksleeve of a master’s hole.”

Chan thrusts up into the air and whine in retaliation, with his mind set on one thing, wanna cum.

Seungmin then started a rough pace of thrusting up into you, chasing his own pleasure and using you as his very own fucktoy for your punishment.

. . .

.

You forgot now how long Seungmin was thrusting into you and rearranging your insides — how long he had speared you on his cock. You were on cloud nine the whole time so you didn't bother to take notice of the time.

But your body was aching from your third orgasm today and Seungmin hadn't even came yet — how the hell does he last so long.. Fuck. you wanted him to fill you up like how you filled up Channie earlier.

Speaking of Chan, you looked at him and saw him whining and writhing — hopelessly rubbing his thighs together. His muscles were flexing, the more he struggles.

White spots blinded your eyesight as you trembled, your tip spurting out little dribbles of cum as you moaned weakly. Your cock felt like falling off as the lewd squelching filled the room.

Seungmin was growling while marking your neck as every thrust of his, sends a dizzying shiver throughout your body.

“I’m close now, love...” He whispered to which you responded with a simple and short, “Want it inside..”

Seungmin chuckled deeply and wrapped his hands around your waist before thrusting up to you one last time and coating your walls in sticky white with a sexy groan — as you let out a weak moan at the wet sensation.

That was what it all took for you to collapse on the bed, your cheeks pressing into the warm mattress as you felt Seung’s cum dribble out your hole — down to your balls and wetting the mattress.

Seungmin licked his lips at the sight of your entrance loose, gaping and oozing with his cum.

Seungmin was also tired, so he grabbed Chan’s cock in his hand to jerk him off fast to which Chan came immediately with a howl.

“You can untie yourself now, Channie..” Seungmin said in a soft tone,, to then which the vines restricting his hands turned into dust immediately before Chan grabbed you softly and held you.

You look at Chan with droopy eyes, smiling at him dearly. Chan giggled before holding you tightly even though his body was sticky.

Seungmin had went out of the room to fetch some dry towels and water while also leaving his two lovers to cuddle with one another.

. .

“You okay, bubs? Minnie wasn't too rough? I could prick him with thorns if you’d like..~” Chan mumbles, pecking your lips softly while also letting out a tiny laugh at then end.

You nod, giggling afterwards to which Chan smiled — brushing through your locks with his hand, a loving grin plastered on his face.

Humming softly as Chan waited for Seungmin to come back.

. .

Seungmin finally arrived with a three damp cloth hanging on his shoulder while carrying a cup and a pitcher filled with water. He smiled lovingly at the both of you before setting down the water pitcher and cups at the nightstand.

He then moved closer to the both of you to wipe both of you clean. He started with Chan, thoroughly wiping his chest down to his abs before teasing him by pushing the buttplug deeper in his ass to which Chan let out a small whine too.

After that, he cleaned you up too by wiping the cum on your thighs and around your buttcheeks.

He started to finger your gaping hole slowly too, trying to remove any more excess cum that was left inside. While being fingered, you were biting your lips, trying to not moan at a sensitive part being touched.

He looked at both you and Chan sweetly, before leaning down to kiss you both at the forehead. “Such good babies, I have~” He said in a teasing tone.

Chan pouted, “I’m older than you, Minmin!!”, he glared at Seungmin which made him laugh, he then patted Chan’s head. “Doesn’t matter, pup~” You watched their interactions with a tired smile.

Before Seungmin remembered something earlier to which he turned to you, sitting on the bed. His smile turning flat. “So, I passed by the bakery earlier and your co-worker said something to me.”

You froze on the spot before looking at his cold eyes, “Why didn't you tell me that the other citizens treated you like shit and called you names?” He said, a small anger laced in his voice. — It was not directed at you though.

Silence.

Chan’s mouth hang agape a short while before he growled — taking into account what Seungmin said, “They do fucking what to you?” He snapped, venom clearly in his tone. Chan rarely gets mad and when he does expect a disaster.

Chan barely could contain himself as roots flowed out the walls and into the hallway, Seungmin looked over at Chan, “Channie, calm down.” His eyes flashing the same pink hue as earlier in the hallway encounter.

“Calm— What? Calm down? They treat him terribly, and you expect me to not choke them where they live?” Chan seethed, not happy at what Seungmin is doing — which is trying to stop him.

The roots on the walls enlarge and footsteps was audibly heard outside the walls of the room — possibly guards that were trying to run away to avoid getting trampled by the evergrowing vines

“I’ll deal with it, so don't worry. Just don't destroy the house okay?” Seungmin tried to reason as best as he can.

But Chan didn't stop still littering the whole room with dangerous roots and long vines. Angry Chan was a force to be reckoned with ans even Min had hard times to calm him down.

“Chan.” Seungmin had used his own ability now, wanting Chan to stop what he was doing — His jaw tightened in frustration while you sat there with fear at the conflict of your boyfriends.

Chan flinched slightly before growling lowly, challenging Seungmin, “Don’t you fucking dare use that on me outside of bed, Kim Seungmin.” he said darkly, glaring at black haired man.

“Bang Christopher fucking Chan. Wilt your plants, are you challenging me? ” Seungmin looked down at Chan with a dark pink flare at his eyes, displeased with the disrespect of the nature demigod.

Chan’s eyes slowly diluted back to normal and whimpered, his plants were now gone — turned into dust, he looked at Seungmin like a puppy that had been beaten up.

Seungmin sighed and sat back down on the bed, petting Chan is in his fragile state before he grabbed him so he could hold him properly.

He looked at you before speaking, “You’re gonna have a bodyguard with you at all times, I already assigned who. Hyunjin will detain anyone who bad-mouths you, okay?” Seungmin said clear as day.

“B— But-”

“No buts, Y/N. This is for your safety, not only physically but also emotionally. Plus, they can't get away with disrespecting what’s mine.” He fumed slightly.

Your eyes softened and rubbed his shoulder comfortably to soothe his anger. “Fine. But let’s sleep for now. Chan is tired, you’re tired, I’m also tired...” you whisper to him, hugging him before he laid Chan down to the bed.

Soon enough all of you fell into a comfortable sleep, you were hugging Chan as Seungmin was spooning the both of you. The fight earlier soon vanished like a wisp as the room fell into a comfortable silence.

. . .

Special Scene~:

“How dare you fucking touch me. I am a son of A— ow! ow!” The man getting cuffed by Hyunjin said out. Hyunjin made sure to tighten the cuffs more to make sure the rude customer felt discomfort.

“Do I look like I care? No. You are going to have jail time, bitch.” Hyunjin, a son of Nemesis sassed out as he grabbed his phone and dialed someone to come pick the detainee up.

You look over at Changbin at the scene you just witnessed, he looked back at you.

“Okay, but that’s kinda ho—”

“Changbin!” you look at him, secretly judging his word choices.

“What? It’s true..” Hades’ son trailed off.

[chiakery]

When I was 17, I found a denim jacket in the thrift shop. It was a simple thing, soft edges from being worn by the previous owner and a big patch on the back, saying "Love is love" in rainbow letters. I brought it home with me, on the very bottom of my bag so that no one could catch a glimpse of it and I hid it on the bottom of my wardrobe, behind the clothes, in between a set of badminton rackets no one would use anymore because the net was broken and a clay statue we were given a few years before - a gift too ugly to be put on display but given to us by a member of a family and therefore impossible to throw away.

The jacket was there for months, and every time I saw politicians on the TV, speaking of how queer people are abomination and sick, or when I saw my mother and father turn away their gaze at the subtlest implication of a character in a movie being gay, I thought about that jacket and how they'd react if they knew.

On my last day of highschool, I wanted to wear it, to be like a protagonist of all those YA novels I read in my room when nobody could see me, to have my grandiose, loud moment of "Look at me, I'm here, I am who I am and you can't do anything about it".

Instead I wore a white, button-down shirt and a black skirt, as was expected of me.

A few weeks later, in late June, I travelled alone to another city to submit my college application. It was too hot for a jacket, but I ached to finally wear it and my excitement of being Away and Unknown, even if just for a few hours, were bigger than a discomfort of being too warm. So I wore the jacket and I felt powerful and, just like that, dozens or hundreds of people who didn't know my name Knew. They knew before any person who shared a meal with me or spoke to me knew; a bunch of strangers who didn't spare me a second thought shared a secret with me without being aware of the weight of it. And it felt right.

That trip didn't change much about how I behaved at home, when I was riding train back I hid the jacket in my bag, even if the weather changed and it was starting to get chilly. I made myself a sandwich and watched TV with my dad, like any other day.

When I was 19 I kissed a girl for the first time.

When I was 20 I went on my first real date.

When I was 22 I brought a girl home, and I held her hand as we walked through the door, and I didn't let go. We sat next to each other and she stole food from my plate and I took all of the cauliflower from hers (she never liked it). No one said anything when I came back home alone later, which wasn't a surprise my family doesn't really talk about feelings and stuff.

My coming out didn't happen on a Day, there's no date imprinted in my mind, no words said through tighened throat, tears or conversations where I tried to explain. It wasn't jumping off the cliff, but a slow walk into a lake, letting the water cover me, not looking back to see if the people are watching. But, even if they didn't watch at first, with time they started to notice.

I recognised it in my dad's quiet whisper of "it's not like they're harming anyone" when another politician spoke with hate about pride parades. I saw it in my brother's awkward wishes during Christmas, his mumbled "... or a girlfriend." right before we sat for dinner.

Now that I think of it, it's better that I didn't try to mimic the movies or novels with a grand reveal. I needed time to grow into what does it mean for me to be attracted to women and my family probably also needed time to process it on their own.

So this is a message to everyone out there who may feel like they're doing something wrong, like there's a way people are supposed to act about their sexuality or how they share it with others: there's no one, good way to come out. It's okay if it's quiet. It's okay if there's no Big Conversation and tears or relieved smiles.

It's your story. Don't let the books or movies tell you how it's supposed to look like.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Until The Very End -(WITS Sequel)

A/N: This is one of my favorite chapter and I’m so looking forward to hear your thoughts! -Danny

Words: 4,357

Masterlist

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Listen to: ‘Lost’ -by Emily Afton

September-October 1998

There was one firm knock on the door.

Dolores Umbridge didn't pride herself in having constant company, she gave a little start at the sound.

"W-Who's there?"

"Miss Umbridge," responded a voice outside, "we're here to deliver a notice."

The woman, even though she'd always been squeamish and short, had never looked as vulnerable and helpless as now. She'd been cornered at her own home, but she was no idiot, she went to open the door.

Three people were waiting outside: Mel Dumbledore was standing between her childhood friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. All of them were wearing dark blue ministry robes from the Auror department. Dumbledore's had a silver "H" above her heart.

Dolores had met them when they'd already gone through most of their traumatic experiences— when they were no longer the titchy, quiet children they once were. She'd met them when they were rebellious, loud, cynical, and back then she hadn't been afraid. To her they were perfectly manageable, noisy little beasts that needed training.

"Good afternoon," Mel spoke. "Can we come in?"

Dolores sputtered an answer, the young witch smiled a little.

"Good. Boys," She gestured towards the hallway.

The young men walked in, the redhead was having a hard time keeping a neutral expression, but Harry's was entirely stiff. The small woman stumbled back and crashed against a wall, none of them cared to ask if she was fine.

When Mel stepped into the entryway, Umbridge finally found her voice.

"May I ask why am I getting such... unexpected visitors?"

"Unexpected?" Mel frowned slightly. "We've been working hard these last few months to prune our community."

"Have you come here to interrogate me?" The woman squeezed her wand between her chubby fingers. "About Yaxley? The time I worked with him—"

"Yaxley has been caught and sent to Azkaban already," Harry replied, curiously observing the objects around him. "His trial ended last month, didn't you hear?"

"I... dear child—"

"That's Mr Potter to you," Ron stepped forward, Harry stopped him without much conviction.

"See, Dolores— May I call you that?" Mel said without waiting for an answer. "We're not here to ask about others. We're here to arrest you."

Umbridge turned pink, so unbelievably pink, Mel wondered if her eyes were deceiving her.

"Arrest me!" Umbridge lost her composure. "I-I was nothing but loyal to the law and—"

"Never stopped to wonder if your actions were ethical, or truly legal according to the old wizarding law. Which needs to be updated— What do you say, Ron, d'you reckon we should start rewriting some of its faulty parts?"

Ron hummed. "How about we change 'acting in name of the preservation of the wizard pride' to 'committing hate crimes for personal purposes'?"

"Yeah, that sounds more accurate," Mel agreed. "Mr Potter?"

"I'd like to do something about the current guardians in Azkaban," He looked at Umbridge directly in the eye. "They're too easy to manipulate. Who knows what they're capable of doing under the wrong administration?"

"Attacking a minor, perhaps?" Ron offered.

"I didn't know the ministry had been compromised! I was just following orders, I was fearing for my life!" Umbridge insisted. Harry laughed dryly.

"You've got nerve, trying to convince us you had no intention to hurt. This isn't solely about the events at the Ministry. We're talking about your misuse of power from September 1995 to June 1996. Giving the orders to follow a fifteen-year-old boy and leave him to die in an alleyway—"

"We're talking about the decrees you published during your time as a Hogwarts professor, which established a dictatorial management of the wizarding education and resulted in three students severely injured, two of them who are standing in front of you and are willing to testify your methods were fuelled by cruelty,"  Mel continued.

Ron whistled lowly. "Emotional manipulation, physical attacks to members of the staff, aggression towards two minors... and that's only from one year! Do you want us to continue listing all the things you did after you left Hogwarts?"

"Black market bribes were taken from Mr Fletcher, falsification of personal documents —yours and others, persecution of minors, and plenty of witnesses that can't wait to talk about it all..." Mel counted with her fingers. "You still claim you're innocent? Forgive me, Dolores, but I think it's safe to say that you're a liars."

"And we don't like liars," Ron said gravely.

"I thought we'd agreed on that," Harry placed both hands in his pockets.

Mel stretched out her hand and Ron placed an envelope on it. "We've tried to reach you by owl before, but the letters kept going missing."

"Or maybe you just pretended not to get them," Harry shrugged. "Either way we decided to pay a formal visit to inform you about the trial, which will be taking place next Thursday. Ten o'clock, don't forget it."

Mel nodded. "If you do we'll have no choice but to take you by force, and next time we won't knock."

"Have a nice day," Ron smirked, grabbing a biscuit from the plate next to the fireplace.

"I'm looking forward to seeing your face in court," Harry said casually as he walked out.

September came and went with little to say.

Except for Bill's wonderful news about Fleur's pregnancy.

That, and the small detail Remus had forgotten to mention about him being Gryffindor's Head of house.

The students loved him as much as they looked up to Erick. Half of them had met the young teacher as a student, that was true, but they respected him. He was also a brilliant professor, according to Hermione, and it'd been a long time since her judgement had been clouded by her feelings.

Mel and Harry's job was mostly paperwork now, they were trying to trace back the missing muggle-borns registration the Death Eaters had burned during their time in the Ministry. It was nice to settle into a steady routine they could enjoy close to each other.

After Dolores Umbridge's trial, the couple had relished in a dark comfort, feeling that at least a bit of their trauma was about to be lifted from their shoulders. The woman wasn't going to spend such a dreadful time in prison anyway, they'd started to write a petition to remove the Dementors from Azkaban, replace them with something safer and reliable, though they still had to figure out what that was.

Apart from their work at the Ministry, they would take turns to help Tonks with Teddy. They would go three times a week (Andromeda had moved in with her daughter for the rest of the school year) and Emily would visit as well to have lunch and let the kids get to know each other, although Teddy was still too young to play with his uncle Reggie.

The women had loads of stories about the Marauders and their time at Hogwarts, something Harry, Mel and Tonks loved to hear whenever they could. Nevertheless, they only had the weekends free, and sometimes the couple would spend them all alone.

They hadn't spoken much about their future, Mel had mentioned their plans to her mother and far from being sad, the woman showed tons of excitement. She was ready to help, even offered to check the area in which they were currently living and see if there were any houses for sale, which they appreciated.

Ron also knew, and he'd volunteered to look for a nice place near the Burrow, he said it'd be cool if they all got to stay near each other and create their little community, which didn't sound bad, but it lacked a bit of the freshness Mel and Harry were looking for.

They wanted new, and they wanted lots of nature, something both places had but they simply couldn't make up their minds about it. The Burrow's town was familiar to them, it felt like they would grow tired or they'd feel stuck if they decided to live in a place they'd known since they were children. Emily's place was nice, but then again, it was London.

Harry and Mel were discussing the subject during their lunchtime when Ron walked into the office, quickly followed by a small person.

"Anne!" Mel stood up in surprise. "How on earth did you find your way in?"

"Erick told me all about this place a few months ago," She approached eagerly. "Is it wicked of me? Erick said I could call any of you in case of an emergency, but you're hard to find when you don't have a bloody telephone number!"

"It's alright..."

Mel guided her to one of the chairs, Harry shot up to his feet and whispered something to Ron. He gave her a look, truth be told none of them knew if muggles were allowed inside the Ministry, but if they had to guess, they'd say they were not.

"How did you get here, then?"

"I found her, while I was getting our food."

Ron had graduated from his Auror training and was on his first official month. Being the serious and professional Head Auror that she was, Mel decided that new Aurors needed to work a week as her personal assistants, so she'd given Todd a short break while Ron filled his spot. He was definitely going to get her back eventually, but it was worth it.

"I saw her wandering around the phone booth, she said it was urgent so I brought her in. Hope you don't mind it, but I told the desk bloke that she was your cousin— said she was a squib so she didn't have a wand and he bought it. He seemed rather shocked to know Mel Dumbledore was related to a squib."

"Well, Ron, you didn't hear it from your boss, but as your friend, I'm rather proud and impressed of your lying skills," She grinned. "Anne, you said it was an emergency?"

The girl glanced back at the boys and opened her mouth, but she was too shy to usher them away. Ron looked at Harry:

"Hey mate, I forgot the food."

Harry got the hint and followed him to the door. "I'll go with you— See you, Anne."

"Goodbye, boys!"

"Alright," Mel sat down. "Just the two of us... What's wrong?"

Anne looked at her with shy eyes, mouth twisting in a pout as she fidgeted with the end of her sleeve.

"I have to be quick," She said. "I've got to be back in two hours— I have classes..."

"If you're feeling ill, I think you should take the day off," Mel frowned. "What's going on?"

"Well," She took a deep breath, one of her hands —slightly darker and sunkissed in comparison to Mel's— reached across the desk and caught two of her fingers. "I'm pregnant."

Mel was easy to agitate, but she had better control over her physical reactions, reason why she would weirdly show any strong emotions in public. She'd received so many shocking surprises throughout her youth that she had no gut reaction to them anymore.

Anne's words left her speechless for a second, but she recovered, straightening on her seat.

"Oh," Mel looked down, deep in thought. "You found out just now?"

"I've known for a week," Anne continued, her hand now fully on Mel's. "I don't know what to do."

"Concerning what?" She tilted her head. "I mean— sorry for asking, how long have you been pregnant, then?"

"Three weeks," The girl sighed, "I think so, at least. That's the last time Erick visited. I thought it was just stress because I'm starting school and all... but then I felt weird and that's when I decided to go with a doctor and check..."

"You haven't told Erick?" Anne shook her head, Mel nodded. "Do you... I mean— I know it's awfully hard to have a baby and study a career. Mum tried to do it when she had me but she found it rather difficult so she stopped. I'd understand if you want... well, if you want to stop the pregnancy."

Anne's eyes swelled with tears, she shook her head again. "I want the baby. I want it."

"Oh," Mel repeated again, it'd been a long time since she'd felt this inadequate. "That's good, then! Oh, Annie, don't cry! Poor darling, you must be scared..."

She quickly circled the desk, Anne shook her head again.

"S'not that!" She gasped. "It's Erick! He despised the idea of waiting while I was studying— he didn't want me to feel like I owed him loyalty or something, he said I had the right to enjoy school without worrying about him... I feel so selfish! He's found a job so wonderful and I ruined everything, I feel like I'm stealing his youth!"

Mel observed Anne for a moment before inevitably bursting into laughter.

"I'm sorry!" She covered her mouth. "I'm sorry— it's just... I hope my question doesn't make you uncomfortable, but... did Erick ever tell you about the time we dated?"

The girl's face turned red, she nodded.

"He was sure it was a great idea because we're so similar... I understand him quite well, yes, but being similar doesn't mean wanting the same things. Erick and I disagree on most aspects of life. Annie, you're about to make him the happiest man on earth."

The brunette blinked, huge tears rolling down her face. "You... you think so?"

"I'll tell you a little secret, but you'll have to pretend you didn't know once you talk to him..."

Mel told her about her recent talk with Erick and his interest in marrying his childhood love, this seemed to lift her friend's spirits.

"Oh, I do hope this doesn't change our plans, though!" She squeezed Mel's hands in hers. "I want to finish my career! Erick wanted to teach for a while too—"

"Which is ridiculous, really, considering he's rich," Mel frowned. "He's sort of stealing from someone who may need it more. Either way, Anne, if you want to keep the baby I think you should tell him as soon as possible. I could take you to Hogwarts so you can speak to him? And you'll need a Healer, not a muggle doctor, is likely that your baby will be like us..."

"I hadn't thought of that!" Anne's face glowed. "That sounds wonderful! A little scary too, considering it's in me..."

Mel laughed, her eyes instinctively looked for Anne's middle and she felt a thrilling goosebump running down her spine. She hadn't been present to see Tonks or Emily's pregnancy, coming to think about it she'd only seen her mother's belly once while talking to her via floo powder!

She had no idea what a pregnant woman needed nor what kind of things were different when the baby was magical, but she was sure she'd do her best to help.

Mel left Harry in charge for the rest of the day and took Anne to King's Cross, where they went through the barrier. Mel hadn't expected to be using the transportation so soon after leaving the castle, yet there she was.

The protection spells didn't seem to work on Anne, she was perfectly capable of looking through them judging by the loud gasp she gave as soon as the castle came into view. Maybe it had to do with her constant interaction with wizards, perhaps muggles could grow sensitive with time, and it was safe to say the girl had been around enough to be able to see through simple anti-muggle tricks.

"You really spent six years there?" The girl asked in awe. "You studied there?"

"That's right," Mel smiled. "All of us. Well, except Joseph. He studied at—"

"Beauxbatons," Anne nodded knowingly. "He's told me all about it, but I bet it isn't as pretty as Hogwarts!"

Mel looked up at the castle with fondness. "Few things in life are."

The girls entered the school grounds and Mel went directly to Hagrid's cabin hoping he'd be free to help them. He was feeding Buckbeak, but he was happy to see her.

"What brings yeh here?" He asked brightly. "How's everyone?"

"Everyone's well, Hagrid, thank you," She smiled. "Anne has an urgent matter to attend with Erick, though— d'you know where he is?"

"Well, he must be teachin'," He looked up at the castle. "Urgent, yeh say? I could go and fetch 'em?"

"Oh no, no," Anne intervened. "I'd hate to interrupt his class. Maybe we could wait here until it ends?"

"Er..." Mel looked at Hagrid. "We don't want to disturb, Hagrid..."

"Not a problem!" He exclaimed. "Yeh can come in, feel free ter eat and drink what yeh want too. I've got ter finish feeding the creatures, but I'll let yeh know when classes are over."

Anne and Mel went to Hagrid's place and sat at the table, Fang immediately went to sniff Anne's jeans and she got rid of some of her anxiety by scratching the dog's ears.

"What's the plan, then?" Mel asked. "You want me to fetch him for you, or do you want to dramatically storm into the Great Hall and announce yourself?"

Anne blushed. "I-I think we might as well go together, but if you call him out of the Hall for me, I'd appreciate that. I bet a muggle would cause a bit of a commotion, I've never liked being the centre of attention."

She reached out to grab one of Hagrid's fruit cakes, but Mel stopped her.

"You eat one of those and your baby will born before your body fully process it," She warned her.

An hour later Hagrid walked them to the castle, strange knots formed inside Mel, she'd been missing the school more than she'd realized, and being there knowing she couldn't stay broke her heart. Hogwarts was her home, and to think that it was the only place on earth where she wanted to be, yet she couldn't... She didn't belong there anymore.

"I could bring him out fer yeh?" Hagrid offered when he saw Mel's expression of distress. "May be the best— students could get worried if they see yeh, Mel, they might think something's happening."

"You're right," She sighed. "Yes."

Hagrid nodded once before entering the Great Hall, the girls waited at the entrance. Anne was looking around in awe, Mel's gaze landed on the four hourglasses counting the points, she wondered if the rivalry had truly ceased to exist.

"Mel?" Anne touched her arm gently. "Are you okay? You look upset..."

The girl tried to relax her frown and smiled a little, shaking her head to dismiss it. She'd gotten lost in her memories.

"Sorry... I'm a bit nostalgic, that's all."

"Erick speaks tons about this place. He says he could always be himself here no matter how bad it was back home, I suppose you feel the same way?"

"Well, not quite," Mel responded. "Harry and I came here with very little and came out with our hands full. You'll hear no complaints if you ask us... but I guess that makes it hard sometimes. We loved this place so deeply... it hurts that we couldn't linger, you know?"

Before Anne could reply, a silky voice spoke to them from the Great Hall's entrance.

"Anne?" Erick approached them. "How— Why... What's going on?"

"Hello," Mel smiled. "Anne has something to tell you."

The muggle girl looked towards the main entrance of the castle and silently asked the young man if he would follow her out. He nodded, too shocked to even speak, and merely threw a questioning glance at Mel before walking past her.

"Mel?"

She turned and found Hermione standing near the marble staircase.

"Why aren't you eating?" She frowned.

"I was finishing an essay," Her friend replied, worry written all over her face. "Is everyone alright? Where are the boys?"

Mel's eyes settled on Hermione's uniform, her heart squeezing at the sight of the familiar red and gold. "Anne needed to talk to Erick."

"Anne?" Hermione blinked. "Anne Lewis?"

"Yes," Mel grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her closer. "She's pregnant."

"What!"

Mel hushed her. "She had to tell Erick in person and of course it couldn't wait, so I decided to bring her."

"But how did she enter?" Hermione's brows knitted together. "Muggles aren't supposed to!"

"Maybe the anti-muggle spell lifted during the war? Perhaps the damage done to the school took it away without us realizing it? Who cares?"

"McGonagall will— it could put the Wizarding community at risk if the muggles are all able to see us—"

"Fine! You can tell McGonagall later..."

"Where is Anne?"

Mel looked over her shoulder and pointed towards the main entrance. "There."

Hermione moved a little, now they were standing side by side, both watching attentively while Anne seemed to be stumbling over her words. Erick had his full attention on her, but he was having trouble understanding.

"How's everybody here, Mione?" Mel's voice softened. "Are you having a good year?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, very lovely," She replied, coming back to their conversation. "Remus is wonderful as usual— Can I tell him you're here? I bet he'd love to see you. Ginny and Luna as well, did they tell you they're dating now?"

"Yeah, she wrote to me a week ago," Mel's eyes were teary, her feelings were starting to overwhelm her. "I miss being here."

Hermione didn't reply right away, she gently wrapped an arm around her.

"You're okay," She patted her shoulder. "You'll feel better once you're home..."

"That's the problem," Mel sniffed. "I'll go to my mum's house."

Hermione frowned. "What do you mean?"

"She bought that house with my dad, and she's lived good things there, but to me, that house is just... a house. Blimey, I think I liked Privet Drive more! I know that sounds terrible, part of me thinks I should love it because it was the place I was born in... but my home is with Harry, and I can't be with him yet."

Hermione hummed in understanding. "You know what I think? You need a fresh start. You've only—"

Erick's exclamations interrupted their talk. His face was a mixture of shock and happiness, and he'd never been this loud and effusive before. He hugged Anne so tightly that her feet left the ground, her face was covered in happy tears. Erick spun her around and Mel sighed with a bit of longing.

"Harry and I... we felt happy while we were travelling, but I want to start a life with him, it's hard to make up our minds, it's the first time we decide everything for ourselves."

"Not everyone moves at the same pace, and you don't want to move at the speed Erick and his girlfriend are," Hermione told her wisely. "It may work for them, but I know you and Harry. You like to move painfully slow."

Mel knew she was right, after all those years it was silly to start comparing lives when they were all adults who wanted very different things.

She tried to imagine how would it be if they had babies when they still had places to visit and things to live on their own. Having to be yet again the role model for a kid, and she'd be worrying about making her family proud once more. They didn't want that so soon after being released from their war duties. Freedom and comfort were calling to them the same way home and family were doing to Erick.

Besides, she still had nightmares. Harry as well, for all she knew. They couldn't start a family while still broken and fearful. Therapy was sounding way more appealing than a baby at this point in her life.

Anne and Erick finally made their way to them, he was looking young and energized, but that was a usual look on him lately. Anne seemed way less anxious now that she was holding Erick's hand.

"We're having a baby!" He said, voice so loud it sounded a bit squeaky.

"That's great!" Hermione beamed. "Congrats, guys!"

They hugged the happy couple, wishing them the best of lucks.

"You must be hungry, Anne, it was a long trip..."

Erick was looking at her with a glint in his eyes, Mel recognized it as worry— no... care. It was the same gaze he had during most of her sixth year. Back when she'd refused his help every time he'd offered it, which had frustrated the poor boy to a dangerous extent. Anne, however, seemed pleased with all that sweet attention.

"I'll take you to the kitchens, you can ask the elves for anything, really anything. Whatever you want."

"I should eat as well, my next class is in twenty minutes," Hermione turned to look at Mel and smiled at her encouragingly. "Look after yourself, alright? I'll see you later!"

When Mel turned to the couple it finally hit her: Erick Flint was on his way to becoming a father.

The young man was so similar to the twelve-year-old she'd met, and yet so different... Tall and way less coy, his work robes were a little more casual than his school uniform and his dark hair was fluffy-looking, his eyes were kind. Crazily enough, he reminded her of James Potter.

"I'm really happy for you," She looked at them adoringly. "I hope your family becomes everything you've always wanted and more."

Erick pulled her in for a hug.

"Wouldn't have made it without you," He whispered. "You're my dearest friend."

"Are you trying to make me cry? Because it's bloody working!" Mel said with a shaky voice. "If you really are so grateful, call the baby Mel."

He laughed. "How about Melissa?"

The girl gasped, Erick chortled. "Who told you that story?"

"Ron," He smirked. "At your birthday party. I hate that I didn't see you wound McLaggen's pride!"

"If you behave," She poked his ribs. "If you are a good father and boyfriend, then I'll show you the memory in my pensieve."

"You don't need to worry about that," Erick looked at Anne and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"No, I don't," She said proudly.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @reverse-hxlland @hamiltonwc @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee @thelastpyle @cedricisnotdead @greengarsstuff @aconfusedslytherin @talksoprettyjjx @avengersz-biotch @23victoria @moonhoonie @raajali @peachyaeger @espressopatronum454​​

[camdentown-library]

The flames in your eyes || ENG ver. Ethan Torchio x reader

❝ 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬. 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐚. 

𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠. ❞

Genre: Fluff ;; romantic ;; slowburn

Pairing: Ethan Torchio x fem!reader

Warning: English is not my native language, I may have made grammatical errors. do not hesitate to correct me

N / A: The facts told are purely the fruit of my imagination, it is not my intention to do any wrong to any person mentioned, and above all the character of Ethan could (surely) not reflect the person in reality.

Happy reading to you all!

CHAPTER 1

The first rays of July had cast on the roofs of the houses in Rome, giving the off-white plaster and rosy tiles a golden sheen that tasted like honey. The wisteria were in bloom, as was the medlar tree under Marlena's house; the scent of life in the full act of her cycle, always knocked on her dining room window, filling it with sweet fragrances.

The girl used to take her place at the table during the late morning hours, surrounded by books and tomes quite old and gnawed by the dust, with the good resolution that even that day she would read and study those very boring pages of that equally boring examination. of Egyptology. The university summer session had already begun, she had just taken a couple of exams last June and was now preparing two more that she would take in the first weeks of September.

That time could seem apparently short, Marlena didn't care that much, what could ever distract her from her work? She had no friends, and by now, even though she had crossed the threshold of 21 years in the autumn, the girl was now completely extinct her naive youth, as well as her desire to laze.

The out of tune and unexpected sound of the intercom triggered her head bent over the books of the young woman, who after having heaved a sigh perhaps a little annoyed, she decided to get up from her chair, leave the dining room and cross the wide and not too long corridor in the shape of an "L" of his apartment, finally arriving at a brisk pace towards the device it had croaked in order to answer.

"Yes?" she asked quite firmly but not too cordially.

"I'm the postman, will you open me?" answered a stranger, as she pushed the button to open the gate.

Marlena therefore opened the heavy old door of her house, remaining patient to wait for the man to arrive at the door. Although she had lived in that condominium with her father for as long as she remembered it, she had not yet found a rational explanation for its lack of mailboxes. Was it because it was a palace built in the 1920s? Well that would explain the absence of an elevator as well, but a damn mailbox wouldn't be hard to add.

The man's gasping breath brought her back to reality as her eyes saw him peeking from the flight of stairs. Was he already that tired after not even crossing the second floor? The young woman wondered a little disappointed.

"Are you Madam Levavi?" the postman then asked, catching his breath and rummaging through her purse. Marlena wrinkled her nose instinctively.

"Ahm ... not madam, I'm her daughter" she replied shaking her head, what could that postman ever care if she was "miss" or "madam"? The girl lightly bit the inside of her cheek as a reproach.

"Here you are. How many floors are there still?" She asked the man wiping her sweaty forehead with a handkerchief after giving her the mail.

"Two more ..." Marlena replied disinterestedly as she closed the door, observing her letters.

Bills for electricity, water, the tax to be paid for the next university year and ... a letter?

Well, it certainly wasn't sent by her father...

The girl looked at the text of that letter once more, rereading it and rereading it several times, wrapped in a silence that was probably inherent in memories that clouded her common sense, while slowly after taking a few steps back, she gently placed her back to the wall.

"Dear Marlena,

I know perfectly well that it might have been easier to call you, but you know I've always enjoyed writing you letters.

Unfortunately I noticed that in the last few I sent you you didn't answer, I guess it's because the university keeps you very busy ...

However, I learned that your father is out of Italy on a business trip and he will be away until the end of August; It seemed only right to invite you to spend these last months of summer in our house outside the city.

I know that since your mom left, you haven't had the desire to visit us anymore, but I think it would do you good to change the air for a while. The place is quiet, there is the sea and also a large and extensive countryside with a pine forest and the locals are really friendly and helpful.

You can also bring Lapo if you want, I know you are very close.

Either way, let me know your verdict.

A strong hug.

Grandmother Agata.”

She had distant memories of that house, distant but still happy. He remembered when he woke up early in the morning with grandmother Agata and grandfather Laertes to be able to go to the sea and his little hands while looking for hermit crabs and shells on the shore, as he remembered the music in the square and the laughter echoing in the same way as the bells of the church on Sunday, everyone was happy ... and life seemed to be less unfair to those who deserved it less, it tasted like jam and fruit jellies, salt on the lips and bees flying.

Marlena's chest swelled with air, as if she had been holding her breath until then...perhaps because diving into one's childhood was like floundering in a stormy sea pretending to stay afloat.

The cheerful barking of her dog Lapo brought the young woman back to the present, who decided to place the letters on a window sill not far from the front door and set off together with the playful animal towards the kitchen. Lapo was a nice Bernese Mountain Dog, with a black, brown and white coat. It had been given to her five years ago, perhaps because her father had sensed that even his absence had created in the heart of his only daughter, a sense of distressing loneliness, which had consumed her to the bone making her totally apathetic for certain verses.

But Lapo, Lapo had saved her from her, with Lapo she spoke and shared gestures of affection, such as caresses and little licks between her fingers and hair. Sometimes Marlena fell asleep in her bed, with the bulky dog ​​on her, because feeling her warm and humid breath on her blankets reminded her in her sleep that she was not alone in the dark of the night. As long as Lapo's heart had beaten the young girl she was not afraid of having to wake up or sleep.

Although she tried to convince herself that staying in her comfort zone would be easier than answering "yes" to her grandmother's request, a part of her was again attracting her to that letter; her gaze was captured by the horizon of her mind, while in the distance she could almost hear the sounds and flavors of a place almost too fairytale to be part of the material world.

"I know I should answer..." she murmured as she was intent on washing the peel of a red apple in the kitchen sink. Meanwhile the dog sat up looking at her intensely while she wagged his tail waiting for her.

"...It's just that, that place...and then I should finish studying, I have an exam to take at the end of the summer, Lapo" but the dog tilted his head in disappointment and then got up and trotted out of the room, looking for of who knows what amusement, leaving Marlena to her thoughts, as she bit into the freshly dried fruit with the kitchen towel.

All of this would only be for a little over a month and a half, just a month and a half and then she would leave it all behind her again, as she did a long time ago.

“Hello grandma. I'm Marlena..."

Marlena after putting the letter back next to her bedside table, she grabbed the cell phone not far away and typed some numbers on the screen, not too convincingly, and then brought the object to her ear.

There were those ten seconds of waiting that seemed the stroke of half a century, until a voice said "Hello?".

Marlena had brought two large bags with her. One for clothes and the other full of junk such as: books, objects for the dog, tricks and everything that for her mind, not so familiar with travel, she considered indispensable. She was not so convinced that both of them would enter the trunk, but the exemplary ability to know how to adapt and make do with her grandfather always left her with amazement on the edge of her lips.

It took two days before grandfather Laerte's small and overly backward FIAT Punto made its peerless entrance next to the bottle-green gate of the small cloister of the Marlena palace.

The man had taken more or less ten minutes just to park, the niece had wondered how long it would take him to get there and start again.

The young woman was sitting in the back seats, together with Lapo. She held in her hands a small bunch of tulips that Laertes had brought her, made by herself. He said to her:

"I went for a walk in the countryside and tried to capture the most beautiful of all, like my granddaughter!" followed by a proud, croaking laugh. Laertes had always been a proud and incurable romantic, without ever giving up some of her drama, grandmother Agata did nothing but remind her of it in her letters.

Like when Marlena pointed out to him, that the steering wheel of the car was too damaged for the latter to be considered in accordance with the law, but he had always replied that a good soldier and partisan would appeal to his driving experience and a little 'of elbow grease, in order to be sure that the itinerary of the journey would be peaceful and without unpleasant hitches.

Lapo let out an enthusiastic bark when the croaking car left the endless concrete of the highway behind, and then took a narrow, winding, uphill road that would have led them to the small town.

Her gaze stared blankly at what was running, like tape in a movie camera, out the window; She saw the buildings of the city become less present, as well as the stench of smog, then there was a long stretch of highway, immersed in the wheat fields and every now and then some small farm or spare parts industry or other jobs would emerge.

In the car there would have been complete silence, had it not been for the old radio which played an entire disc of all of Lucio Dalla's masterpieces; Marlena's grandfather liked that singer, but not in the same way chatting while driving, because according to him it would have increased the chances of road accidents by 50%, and frankly, the granddaughter didn't mind at all this acknowledgment ... she didn't even know where she should have started and however much her relatives tried to make her feel at ease, she imagined herself as a stranger, a stranger, who had knocked on their door and was now just trying to learn and remember their common manners.

"If you look to the right you will see the sea, Marlena" Laertes informed her, while he struggled with the steering wheel at every bend, but he did not dare to make even a moan under stress. The girl decided to accept those words, and looking out (after rolling down the window) a crisp air of salt pervaded her nostrils like the balm of a mint. Her eyes tried to show as little as possible the defeat of an amazement that had overwhelmed her like a raging wave, making her heart pound.

The sea. Marlena loved the sea. And for a few moments she was wondering what she had forced her to shut up in the house all that time, but then her mind went back to static and clear. She knew why, and there was no other reason to get her back together, even if it was difficult.

Yet there seemed to be few people around the streets, perhaps because at that time anyone with a minimum of wit would have holed up in the cool four walls of their home, just to escape the scorching heat that did not yield until the stroke of five in the afternoon .

By now it was almost two in the afternoon when Laertes' car passed the threshold of the square of the small town, while the attentive (even if apparently lost) gaze of his granddaughter observed everything in detail.

Nothing seems to have changed in that place since the last one who went there. The street was always covered with the usual, old and coarse slabs of white stone and eroded by the weather, as well as the various shops that surrounded the square and the small houses side by side, glazed with a fresh off-white plaster and dark brown roofs, the fountain in the center, and the small restaurant with its balcony overlooking the long pine forest that extended at the foot of the modest hill that supported the town.

A jolt suddenly shook Marlena, when her grandfather decided to pull over and pull up the handbrake of his FIAT, thus causing a slight recoil unexpectedly enough to suddenly wake the girl from her thoughts. She cleared her throat, while she opened her door, so that Lapo could finally trot and wag his tail excitedly around, on the other hand she didn't blame him, it must have been hard for a dog to stay good in the car for so many hours.

"Here we are!" proclaimed the elderly man putting the car keys in his pocket and then ring the bell of the small house next to FIAT "Your grandmother will be so happy to see you, I bet she will have prepared ciambelle with red wine to celebrate your reunion" he added while he waited for the woman he mentioned to open to him, already anticipating on his lips the pungent and sweet taste of those sweets he loved so much.

"So I suppose you made at least thirty" commented the young woman ironically, as she dragged out the two bags with extreme difficulty, attracting the attention of Laertes who, hastily adjusting his frizzy white hair, hastened to reach his niece to give her your support.

“Ah don't worry, kid. I'll take care of it, maybe you can ring the door, your grandmother has now gone deaf as a bell...” he said as he gave a slight snort and then muttered something.

"C’mon, grandpa" Marlena replied then raising her eyes to the sky trying not to smile, how melodramatic could that man be?

After pressing her finger on the bell again, the girl waited for someone to answer and hearing the approach of some quick steps together with the rubbing of flip-flops on the floor, made her realize that Agata had finally heard their arrival. Marlena did not even have time to greet the elderly lady, who took her in her arms, wrapping her in an embrace that caught her unprepared and to which she did not respond immediately.

“Oh my love! I’m so happy to see you again! But look how you have grown! It seems only yesterday when you reached mid-thigh and now...” the hands a little gnarled, but from the soft fingertips of the woman, gently took the face of her niece like a cup, as if to feel if her presence was only fantasy or reality "...You are a woman to all intents and purposes" she whispered and then fussed with kisses all over her face, while Marlena whining pretending to be somehow annoyed.

After climbing a short flight of stairs that led to the house located on the upper floor, the girl's nostrils and consciousness were flooded with memories and sensations already savored. She observed the now old floor of the house, granite tiles that alternated with one hand painted and another not; Marlena rejoiced with a touch of amusement when she as a child she spent boring afternoons playing on them, jumping only on the decorated ones because according to her imagination those remains were made of incandescent lava.

The walls were always the same, covered with a light blue paint and slightly lumpy at times, she could feel it, when the index and middle fingers of her right hand absently brushed the surface.

The house of Marlena's grandparents was very simple and perhaps apparently a little cramped. Having opened the wooden entrance door, after having passed the landing and the stairs, she had in front of her a corridor that extended along to her right, thus marking the various doors of each room that the house gathered inside. Almost parallel to the entrance there was the kitchen door on the opposite wall, without doors, next to it the bathroom door, and then the door to the room of the two elderly spouses. At the end of the corridor there was a small balcony with the railing covered with hanging vases where, like a multicolored waterfall, a thick branching of coral red bucanville came out which, in addition to poetically letting itself fall from the small niche, climbed elegant and graceful on the handrail of the then hug the outside walls of the house.

Marlena took advantage of it, to be able to peep there, while she deeply breathed the fragrant and velvety scent of those petals, mixed with the sea breeze that came from beyond the pine forest that surrounded the town. She observed the small houses around her while if she winked she could distinguish the clear line of the flat and calm sea that merged in perfect alchemy with the clear sky on the horizon.

The young woman tried in every way to convince herself that that enchanted place, that little corner of paradise had never failed her...but she suddenly proclaimed herself foolish for having thought such a cynical thing in the least.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .