#it probably says a lot about me that i'm very much looking forward to politely and professionally telling them to fuck off

[the-modern-typewriter]

wgshdwgd im sorry if youre not accepting snippet reqs </333

but could i req you write abt a villain who *everyone* is genuinely terrified of. and then the hero just politely tells them to shut the fuck up. like, villain could be monologuing or smth and hero would cut them off saying that they would really appreciate it if villain could finish up in the next hour or so because they dont want to miss bargain day at the supermarket.

uwah im sorry if i broke any rules </33 stay safe its a crazy world out there <333

"-Could you please just shut up?"

There was a moment of absolute, horrified silence. One man promptly fainted. Nobody seemed to breathe for a few seconds.

The villain turned, slowly, towards the protagonist.

They were on their knees on the floor, surrounded by armed guards ready to execute the various staff still in their building. Their expression was one of exhausted long-suffering, one hand pinching the bridge of their nose as if to stave off a headache.

"Excuse me?" the villain asked, oh so softly.

"Will you please stop talking?" The protagonist dropped their hand, levelling the villain with a look. "Like, if you're going to slaughter the lot of us, just do it, don't make us listen to the spiel first. It's been forty five minutes."

"Are you so eager to die?"

"No. But if I'm going to die, I think I'd like to get it over with. Otherwise, I'd like to just go about my day. I need to buy food before the shop closes and takeaway costs a fortune. I mean, bloody hell. Forty five minutes. Do you really think anyone here is listening?"

The villain stared.

"Like, not to be rude," the protagonist said. "But they're all scared out their minds. They are not processing the finer points of your monologue. It's just so unnecessary."

"I could cut out your tongue and feed it to you."

"You don't have anything better to do?"

"I could cut out their tongues," the villain swept a hand around the room, "and feed them to you. That sorts out dinner, doesn't it?"

"I mean, I'm vegan, and not a cannibal, but I appreciate you're more concerned with being menacing than actually addressing the issue."

The villain stared some more.

The protagonist stared back.

"The data I need is still downloading," the villain said, after a long moment. "If I let you leave, someone will do something stupid like try and call the police."

"Sure, sure. But the monologue."

"You don't enjoy the sound of my voice?"

"I wouldn't take it too personally. It's been a week. Bit overstimulated, to be honest. Anyone's voice right now feels a bit like a cheese grater on my nerve endings."

"A bit like a cheese grater."

"No offense."

The villain blinked at them, slow and somewhat incredulous. "A cheese grater."

The protagonist shrugged.

"I'm assuming you didn't miss who I am in the last forty five minutes," the villain said.

"No."

"And yet."

"It's not that you're not terrifying," the protagonist said. "I just - forty five minutes. Humans aren't set up to be this stressed for forty minutes. My head is killing me. Processing all this - if you don't kill us - is going to be hard enough without having to fit in all the life admin I'm not currently getting done."

"Come here."

"...what?"

The villain crooked a finger to beckon the protagonist forward.

The protagonist swallowed, eyeing the villain warily, but didn't make them ask again. With a glance at the armed henchmen, they shuffled forwards to the spot the villain had gestured at their feet.

"You know," the villain said, "it's been a very long time since anyone has talked back to me."

"Sorry. I'm really not trying to be rude."

"No," the villain mused, head tilting with something alarmingly like curiosity as the protagonist came to a stop. "You're really not, are you? Turn."

"...turn?"

The villain gestured again, to indicate that the protagonist should face away from them.

"...You can't just give me all the orders at once? I get this is more dramatic, but I probably wouldn't be trying your patience as much if-"

The villain seized the nape of the protagonist's neck, like scruffing a kitten, making their breath catch.

Everyone watched for the inevitable torment. The punishment. The kill.

The villain's fingers dug into the knots of tension in the protagonist's neck, power sparking up the touch.

The protagonist sagged. "Holy shit," they breathed.

"Better?"

"Um. I mean - yes - but -"

"Good." The villain glanced up to the henchmen. "Shoot everyone else."

"What? Wait - no -"

The sound was deafening.

Then the silence was, once again, absolute.

"You didn't have to do that," the protagonist whispered. "I didn't mean - if I offended you -"

"Oh, you didn't, don't worry. That's why you're still alive. Tell me about yourself."

The villain's grip stayed unrelenting on the back of the protagonist's neck, holding them securely in place.

"T-tell-?"

"We still have ten minutes," the villain said, in a tone of great patience, "before the download completes. Tell me about yourself. I shouldn't be the one doing all the talking, after all. It's very rude of me, isn't it?"

Hesitantly, the protagonist talked, watching the blood pool on the floor. What else was there to do?

The computer finally gave a quiet beep to indicate that the download was complete.

"Good. Very good." The villain gave the protagonist's neck another gentle enough squeeze. "Now. Let's go grocery shopping," the villain said cheerfully. "Up you get. Dinner's on me."

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episode 19, The Sadida Kingdom)

NOTE: This is the thing I've been looking forward to the entire rewatch. I'm not sorry for my insanity. This entire blog has been built on my insanity.

This translation error in the fansub is the source of the mistaken belief that Amalia's father's name is Oakheart btw. Though it is a nice name.

Two days prior is when The Horror started...

Sadida also have their own Boufbowl tournaments... Big day for Joris hobby lore.

I'M INSANE. I have waited for ages to get here, and I will not be leaving until I have multiple paragraphs of insane things to say:

They have been arguing for a bit of time at this point. Joris does not sound happy about this conversation. Armand also doesn't sound happy about this conversation.

Armand is probably high on his "I am acting in the stead of my father, so you will tell me everything that you need to tell him" supply. Joris is so fucking desperate for Armand to act normal. He doesn't want to be here either. He doesn't need to be arguing with a 17ish year old prince with daddy issues on a weekday.

All of this to say: This level of politeness from Joris always screams to me "I'm so fucking mad right now."

The way he uses the same words, "allow me", almost reads a bit ironic, or like a thinly veiled show of disregard.

Him repeating the information that we as the audience already knew to Joris — which Joris probably also knows, judging from the fact that they have been talking for at least a little bit, — seems less like exposition, and more like Armand treating Joris like an idiot who just won't get it. A power struggle is happening here.

And while it isn't a part of the subs, I can hear him say "my father, the king" which is, in my opinion, yet another little element of psychological warfare going on here.

Basically, he uses a lot of thinly veiled little jabs to establish himself as The Leader.

...He really is high on his own supply.

The mention of the Master of Bonta is interesting. Joris is not just under the King's direct command, — he is also a messenger for other people in the Bontarian government. Perhaps the master in question is connected to the Huppermages?

His exasperated tone here is so customer service-core. Which wouldn't be that funny if we didn't know he also works customer service.

Also, the dramatic "Alas!"... That he definitely added just to seem less rude. While cutting off Armand's last word, as if he was waiting for him to shut the fuck up. Before looking up at him at the end.

The way he's so fucking rude is just so jaw dropping.

"I have an important secret message", "come back later. FUCKASS."

Joris's first instinct whenever things go bad is to go political incident mode and political incident all over the place.

But to be more serious: I think after 600 years of witnessing wars and murder, Joris's mind would go in that direction after seeing Armand's behaviour.

Joris just doesn't know Armand well enough to know that he would not do that, and that he loves his father. It's quite prudent of Joris to get sneaky.

And even if he didn't think of this — you have seen my headcanon for what I think Joris wanted to tell the king (soft oak and that weird xelor that keeps ravaging places). It concerns the safety of the country. And just like Amalia and Eva, I doubt Joris would want Armand to be the one taking care of this.

[guy who made an entire blog thats 33% literally just talking about doomed siblings] I don't know why I like Armand and Amalia's relationship so much. I think I hauve covid. It's just that imagine you were a kid, and your father — who is so, so very powerful, who is the leader of your people, liked your sibling more. And your sibling had this fortunate life, and you were always in the shadow, and people thought you're mean and furless and bal— [I am electrecuted]

Joris behind the columns, trying to stop himself from screaming or trying to actually kill Armand:

I hope he dies. <- I said, before remembering.

If I was forced to work in Joris's sphere, I would literally just end my life instead. The things he subjects himself to...

On the topic of subjecting himself to things, I really think that Joris came so late because:

He was sneaking around like a silly little gumshoe (he was spying on a foreign government),

He needed a break after talking to Armand. <3 Who doesn't

He hoped that this situation wouldn't end so disastrously. Like maybe Armand would get hit a little bit... Just a tinyyy bit. But no. It's worse. Multiple people are down.

He looks so fucking unimpressed with Armand's words here. I can't do this anymore. He hates this shitty teenager.

Magical powers activate! [hits you with a tree stump 16 times until you lose consciousness]

I don't even know what to say besides the fact that the things he subjects himself to (having to defend and talk to royalty who don't even take him seriously and insult him the whole time) are literally unspeakably insane. Could never be me.

He has a lot of anger within him, and for legal reasons, it cannot be expressed.

[melancholia-ennui]

So the thing that I find fascinating about the ongoing debates around the "walrus vs fairy" poll is how much it reveals about the ways people reason and argue, and how those break down.

Like, on the one hand, I'm #teamwalrus, but the ways that some walrus voters argue about this poll are so hilariously disingenuous. "What if the 'fairy' is a gay man?" "What if it's Halloween?" "What if it's a medieval fae that just looks like some guy?" "What if I'm hallucinating?" - shut up shut up that's not the point and you goddamn know it. The question is only interesting at all if both the walrus and the fairy are instantly and equally recognisable as such. Otherwise you're just dodging the question. (As an aside, this is why I advocate for imagining the fairy as a kind of Tinkerbellish pixie creature, as this has all the desired instant recognisability and acts as a kind of opposite to the vastness of the walrus.)

On the other hand, a lot of fairy voters put forward the argument that "a fairy is impossible". But here's the thing: this represents a fundamental failure to adjust your beliefs under counterfactuals. If a fairy is knocking on your door, that fact in itself proves more or less definitionally that a fairy knocking on your door is not impossible in the possible world of the question, irrespective of your beliefs about the actual world, because it just happened.

And this is really where my walrus vote comes from, because the question was never "what is more probable (given your beliefs about the world", but "what would surprise you more".

If a fairy is knocking at my door, then yes, I have been fundamentally wrong in some assumption about what sort of things exist in the world - but otherwise, the fairy is behaving exactly as I would expect a fairy to behave, given what I have been told in fictional contexts about the behaviours of fairies. It would shake my world-view, force me to re-evaluate a lot of what I believe, but it wouldn't elicit surprise so much as confusion, self-doubt, and perhaps some existential dread.

By contrast, a walrus on my doorstep would be deeply surprising. There is not a single walrus in captivity in my country, so it must have come from the wild somehow. I do live by the sea, but I'm on a first floor flat with a locked door to the building, at the top of a hill, and on the other side of some flood defences relative to the water. While the walrus does not make me question any of my ontological beliefs, it does fundamentally undermine almost everything I believe about walruses, where they can be and what they do, which altogether will elicit much more surprise, emotionally, than a mere previously-thought-to-be-impossibility.

The issue with getting hung up on "but a fairy is impossible" is that to me it seems to function primarily as a kind of thought-terminating cliche. Because if there is a fairy knocking at your door, then obviously a fairy is not impossible, or else it wouldn't be knocking.

What I find interesting is how this really highlights how much people get emotionally invested once the category of "impossibility" is introduced - so much so that they extend that category across all possible worlds, even when the modal/counterfactual structure of the question clearly indicates that doing so undermines the entire premise of the question.

(Honestly, I could go on here about the ways in which the category of "impossible" circumscribing rational considerations impacts other areas of thought, especially politics, but this ramble has already gone on long enough and I don't want to derail it even more. Suffice to say that this seems to be a very general thought pattern, that once someone becomes invested in some sense in something being "impossible", this will, unless they are very careful, permanently colour every consideration they have about that something, often even over and above evidence to the contrary of this impossibility.)

[curapicas]

Oh look, the donghua is doing the heavy lifting for me and juxtaposing them on its own volition. (kind of a continuation of this)

Plot-wise, Li Tianchen's relationship with Lu Guang hinges basically on trying to manipulate and hurt Cheng Xiaoshi to do his bidding through hurting LG (worth noting this implies an understanding of such attachments, and the viciousness stems from a certain resentment of it + his twisted personality). I don't even remember if he's aware LG also has powers.

but tbh the funniest thing coming out of LTC vs CXS&LG is that, in a weird way, he was actually letting off his anger on the "right target", kinda? Technically? Of course I'm not saying LG deserves it nor that LTC was being anything but unhinged. But I do believe there's more than meets the eye (and probably informs the ways Lu Guang can be confronted on the narrative, more on that by the end)

Bc this show is competent, many characters have parallels with each protagonist, and LTC-LG are no different. There's a post I couldn't find that went on their reactions to their most precious people dying in front of them: whereas LTC loses all hope, LG has the means to go back, and thus doesn't even try to let go. Alas, they're both tacticians who, despiste meaning well for LTX and CXS, end up manipulating them into inaction/ignorance;

And they do so bc both feel adrift and out of options - but the show focus a lot on how powerless LTC feels about his life for it to not be a big factor. LTC fights so hard for a modicum of control that I don't even think it registers how he impacts LTX, meanwhile LG has so many variables stacked against him and his empathetic partner that he ends up prioritizing CXS' survival, even above their connection (he keeps to himself Emma's death, for example)

In the twins past, LG was the one that guided CXS into staying on task. And before that, he hid the photo even from the police. Tbh he'd never see it that way, but isn't this accidentally the best revenge for his stabbing? lol

Either way, LTC loses his hope, blames CXS and believes him to be what LTC hates the most, a nice guy who's secretly a jerk. Except. Who is actually closer to this description? A guy who can be polite but will stay passive if that affects CXS too much, to the point of lying about saving Chen Xiao's mom?

Curious to me he was also pretty straight forward in calling LG a jerk, and maybe it's just because LG botched his kidnapping attempt. But maybe he has pretty good instincts bc I don't think he even knows why he hates the man so much, lol. After all, for all Li Tianchen knows, everyone is a jerk who stands by and watch.

And maybe it makes him even angrier because he finally met someone who also has powers and is willing to call him "friend" and "play" with him. Considering his one friendship was with Liu Xiao, someone he's aware has plans, he might've even considered to have his own pet project on CXS. But the thing is, this person already seems to have a way more genuine friendship, and it's with LG.

Summary: LTC, if only he knew, would hate LG for not changing his past + being a guy who's very much capable of standing by and watch + having an actual friendship with CXS

DISCLAIMER: I think on his own right, Lu Guang values kindness in general. But LTC's vision is too black and white to even account for that.

While I'm on the topic of LG: while his passivity keeps him from being of any effective help to the twins, he's also keenly aware of the butterfly effect and that he could possibly make things worse instead, something CXS has been confronting throughought the story.

And yet. His objective is what ultimately makes us see this approach as instead of wise, more akin to the desperation of a grieving man - not unlike LTC who by the end of s2, gives up altogether of hope and follows the Big Bad. Besides, it somewhat clashes with the fact CXS actually does make a difference for the clients, be it by making the past more tender (Chen Bin's wife has sweeter memories, Dou Dou's life was actively made less worse) or the present better (lesbian noodles make up, Dou Dou's father and Qiao Ling reconcile), which is also something LG is aware of, since he agreed to deliver Chen Xiao's messages. So far I don't personally see a clean, objectively correct approach, thus I'm willing to bet it'll be whatever is diametrically opposite of Liu Xiao's, lmao

-kinda unrelated, but I've seen people mentioning an interview where Li Haoling-laoshi (aka the director) said he tweaked a little with Li Tianchen before s2, and he was meant to be (even more) obsessed with Cheng Xiaoshi, making this whole post even more hilarious

[gffa]

STAR WARS CONTENT CHECK IN TIME. Congratulate me, for I have officially completed all of Phases I and II's comics and books! I think Young Jedi Adventures probably falls into Phase I, but I just haven't had time to put it on in the background while doing other things, as I was on a roll with the books and comics. I'll be a little sad when I have nothing left to binge with all this stuff, but I'm also looking forward to having time and space for idk getting back to the Lockwood books, finishing the ORV novel, or hell maybe even have time to read a fic???? MAIN STORYLINE NOVELS - PHASE I:

The High Republic: Light of the Jedi

The High Republic: A Test of Courage

The High Republic: Into the Dark

The High Republic: The Rising Storm

The High Republic: Race To Crashpoint Tower

The High Republic: Out Of The Shadows

The High Republic: Mission to Disaster

The High Republic: The Fallen Star

The High Republic: Midnight Horizon

MAIN STORYLINE NOVELS - PHASE II:

The High Republic: Path of Deceit

The High Republic: Convergence

The High Republic: Quest for the Hidden City

The High Republic: Cataclysm

The High Republic: Quest for Planet X

The High Republic: Path of Vengeance

MAIN STORYLINE NOVELS - PHASE III:

The High Republic: The Eye of Darkness

The High Republic: Escape from Valo

The High Republic: Defy The Storm

MAIN STORYLINE COMICS - PHASE I:

The High Republic (2021) - 15 issues

The High Republic Adventures (2021) - 13 issues

The High Republic: The Monster of Temple Peak - 4 issues

The High Republic: The Edge Of Balance - 2 manga volumes

The High Republic: Trail of Shadows - 5 issues

The High Republic: Eye of the Storm - 2 issues

MAIN STORYLINE COMICS - PHASE II:

The High Republic: The Blade - 4 issues

The High Republic (2022) - 10 issues

The High Republic Adventures (2022) - 8 issues

The High Republic: Edge of Balance: Precedent - 1 manga volume

The High Republic Adventures: The Nameless Terror - 4 issues

MAIN STORYLINE COMICS - PHASE III:

The High Republic: Shadows of Starlight - 4 issues

The High Republic (2023) - 6 issues [ONGOING]

The High Republic Adventures (2023) - 5 issues [ONGOING]

The High Republic - Saber for Hire (2023) - 1 issue [ONGOING]

MAIN STORYLINE AUDIODRAMAS - PHASE I:

The High Republic: Tempest Runner

MAIN STORYLINE AUDIODRAMAS - PHASE II:

The High Republic: The Battle of Jedha

ONESHOT COMIC ISSUES - PHASE I:

Star Wars Adventures (2020) #6 - “The Gaze Electric”

The High Republic Adventures: Free Comic Book Day 2021

The High Republic Adventures Annual 2021

The High Republic Adventures: Galactic Bake-Off Spectacular

Star Wars Adventures (2020) #14 - “A Very Nihil Interlude”

The High Republic Adventures: Free Comic Book Day 2023

ONESHOT COMIC ISSUES - PHASE II:

The High Republic Adventures: Quest of the Jedi

ONESHOT COMIC ISSUES - PHASE III:

The High Republic Adventures: Crash Landing

ANTHOLOGY NOVELS - PHASE I:

Star Wars: The High Republic: Starlight Stories

Life Day Treasury

ANTHOLOGY NOVELS - PHASE II:

Star Wars Insider: The High Republic: Tales of Enlightenment

ANTHOLOGY NOVELS - ALL PHASES:

The High Republic: Tales of Light and Life

EVERYTHING ELSE:

Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures - 25 episodes

I really enjoyed The Eye of Darkness, once again each book that starts out the era is a real banger that has a lot of impact for me, I think this is probably my favorite book for Marchion Ro so far, a character who has felt a little too inscrutable for me up to this point. He could have easily fell into the role of saying he wants to "govern" people but really wants to rule with an iron fist, but nah that guy straight up doesn't want to fit into Republic-style politics or machinations, he just wants to do what he wants to do, this whole thing is about his ego/entitlement complex, in a lot of ways. His dynamic with Ghirra Starros was one I actively looked forward to, because so much of this plot was shaped by feeling like it was a palette swap of the Republic versus the Separatists, that on the surface it was being framed as seceding from the Republic, but really it was occupation. But I felt like this book helped shake off some of that, where they went in a direction where instead this guy is just The Strong Shall Prevail And I'm Strong So I'll Do What I Want and Marchion genuinely sticks to that. It doesn't matter what Ghirra could win for him via politics, he doesn't want that. He's starting to spin out and he clearly doesn't have a real plan, he just wants to fuck things up, but I found that really refreshingly fun here. (I think the way Marc Thompson reads him contributed a lot to that, too. He nicely captures the unhinged aspect of Marchion.) I enjoyed Avar's story a lot, how conflicted she felt and how badly that was affecting her connection to the Force. I hope that this isn't where her difficulty with her internal struggle ends, because The High Republic 2021 comic really had some great moments about how she was having trouble letting go of her anger and fear, and it's not that I want her to nearly fall to the dark side, but that I want the resolution to extend a bit beyond that the Force feels clear and coherent to her again. And It was nice seeing Bell's internal thoughts again, giving him time to work through his feelings, as he stumbles a bit and eventually manages to right himself. I wish Burryaga had gotten some character development, he was just kind of there to be a prop in Bell's story, but given that I love Bell so much, I'm not really mad about that. I'm also about a fifth of the way through Escape from Valo and it's about what I expected from the authors and that it's a junior novel, but I'm enjoying it! I enjoyed the comics, "The Monster of Temple Peak" and "The Nameless Terror" (the art is SO PRETTY), they're fun adventures, but I do wonder a bit of there's bigger plans for Ty Yorrick in Phase III, given how much she's consistently been around, but hasn't yet done a ton of intersecting with the main plot. Or is she just there because she's fun to write and they're trying to make this a big clockwork puzzle tapestry by including characters who are part of the story, just not the main story? I'd love to know what other people thought of any of this! And you should all tell me what you're reading/watching/playing right now, because I want to know how your Star Wars journeys are going!

[enweasley]

Restricted Section ; Finn Weasley x Sallow!Reader

AN: HII! So I haven't seen this being done much (or even at all but I barely looked) where people would write fanfics of their own characters in Hogwarts Legacy, so I decided to do so! Quick introduction to the character:

This is Finn Weasley; He's in Gryffindor and has a very loyal but mischievous personality. He's also pansexual! He LOVES herbology but he loves solving mysteries and exploring secrets even more - even if it's super dangerous. However, he will go to any extent to keep others out of danger (ironically). Finn can be really harsh to people if someone hurts him or the people he cares about. He's not perfect, though, he has some flaws. He does have a short temper and can say pretty horrible things without meaning to. He can also be quite reckless and finds it hard to accept other people's love and care, leading him to forget to keep himself from getting hurt.

That's all for now, but I'll probably add more to his story as time goes by!

(Please excuse any grammar mistakes, I'm trilingual and grammar from 3 languages can mix me up a lot C:)

--

Summary: The new student needs your help sneaking into the restricted section for something 'very important'. However, he doesn't expect you to cover for him when you get caught.

Warnings: Swearing, small panic attack, gets a little heated at the end. Kinda cheesy but we love that :)

Reader's gender is never specified!

--

"Excuse me! Y/n Sallow, right?" Interrupted from your game of wizard's chess alone, you turn around to be met with a pretty tall red-head. You couldn't help but think about how gorgeous he is, but you swallow your excitement.

"Yeah, that's me. You're the new kid aren't you?" You disenchant your chess game and give him your full attention. "I watched your duel with Sebastian in the Clock Tower, you're really good!"

Finn seems to flush at your compliment. During his short time starting in 5th year here in Hogwarts he's gotten plenty compliments on how he's been able to learn and execute spells so quickly, but for some reason your compliment had a special affect on him.

He chuckles lightly. "Thank you, I'm just trying to catch up quickly." He couldn't seem to keep his eyes from wandering over your features. "It's Finn, by the way. Finn Weasley."

"Oh, another Weasley! Well it's lovely to meet you! Did you need anything?" You ask politely.

Finn almost forgot why he was talking to you in the first place, but managed to remember before already humiliating himself in front of you. "Right, yes. This may sound quite forward, but Sebastian told me you're really good at sneaking around. Is there a chance you can help me sneak into the restricted section of the library tonight? I can't say why, but it's very important."

You were a bit surprised at his request, but kind of prideful that you were the first person he was led to for it. You smiled widely. "Of course! I'm surprised my brother didn't take you himself. Meet me at the grand staircase at 9. Don't be late!"

"Wait- Don't you wanna know more about why I need to sneak in?" He asked perplexed.

"Nope. I'll take any opportunity for sneaking around. Either way, you don't seem the type to burn down the castle or anything. Plus, you said you can't say why you need to sneak in."

He mentally facepalmed himself. How could he forget he just said that? Maybe he just wanted to talk to you longer. "I'll see you at 9!" You smile at him and walk away.

You take a long breath after turning away from him. Holy shit he's cute.

-

You're both crouched at the railing of the stairs looking down onto the central hall at exactly 9pm, analysing the prefects walking around and guarding the doors of the library.

"Okay," you whisper. "First of all, we need to go invisible. Have you learnt the disillusionment spell?"

Finn looks at you like a lost puppy, his head slightly titled. You almost had to tell him how cute he looked, but held back.

You pull your wand out and whisp it over your head and body. The wand leaves a blue trail of light before all there was left was your aura.

You continue whispering to the lost boy in front of you. "This is the disillusionment spell. It doesn't turn you completely invisible but it's better than being completely exposed."

You point to his hand holding his wand. "May I?" He nods hesitantly.

You slowly hold his fist clenching onto his wand and do the same movement you did on yourself over him. Finn could barely focus, the feeling of your soft hand on his summoning an army of butterflies in his stomach. You couldn't help but feel the same tingle in your stomach too.

Clearing your throat, you speak. "That's the movement for the spell. Just think of it and do the movement."

He did as you said, and suddenly you were both just two ghosts staring at each other's remains.

Finn chuckles enthusiastically. "This is awesome!" He whisper yells.

You laugh at his excitement, wishing you could see his freckled face through the spell.

"Okay, let's go. Stick close to me." You begin to sneak down the stairs, through the hall, and quickly side past the prefect turned away from the library door. You can feel Finn following closely behind.

After you both get into a safer corner of the library away from Madam Agnes's sights, you remove the spell off you.

"Here's the plan," you start. "You go get the key from Madam Agnes's desk draw over there, I'll distract her."

Finn nods. As you start to turn away, Finn grabs your arm gently and looks at you with his adorable puppy eyes.

"What if you get caught?" He sounds worried. You can't tell why he'd be worried about you, though.

You give him a cheeky smile. "Me? Get caught? You should worry about yourself, Weasley." He chuckles, shooing away the blush creeping into his cheeks after hearing you call him by his surname. "C'mon, let's go."

As you throw a book across the room, Finn conceals himself and scurries to grab the key. You quickly do the same and meet him at the entrance of the restricted section.

Exposing yourselves from the spell, you watch him unlock the gate before you walk in.

"YES!" Finn cheers, surprising you both with a tight hug. There's a pause before he realises what he's doing and slowly pulls away, taking his warmth away with him. "Sorry... Got excited."

You laugh sweetly at him. "I don't mind." He continues walking down the stairs of the forbidden room, but not before shooting you a relieved smirk.

"Lumos." You cast, making the eery room brighter and less intimidating.

As you squeeze between abandoned bookshelves and over piles of junk, you reach a collapsed set of armour. "Repai-" Finn begins to cast before a loud screech interrupts him.

Almost out of thin air, Peeves flies through the wall in front of you. He almost knocks you down, but Finn's quick reflexes catch you before you hit the ground. You find yourself wrapped in his arms, yours tightly around his neck.

"Shit, are you okay?" Finn asks you breathlessly, his worried eyes glaring into yours.

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine-" But once again you were interrupted by the same squeaky, loud voice of the poltergeist.

"I'M TELLING, I'M TELLING," Peeves squeals mockingly before flying straight upwards towards the main floor of the library.

Your heart squeezes into itself. You've never been caught before, why now? Your uncle is going to kill you if he finds out you were sneaking around the castle, and in the restricted section of all places.

You didn't realise your breath was quickening until you felt arms lowering you onto the floor and rough but warm hands palming each side of your neck.

"Hey, hey. You're alright, sweetheart. Take a breath." You hear Finn's soft voice whisper in your ear. A little voice was in your head screaming How do you expect me to breathe when you're making my heart beat even faster??

You breathe deeply before letting out a small chuckle. "I'm okay. I'm fine. Just go get whatever you need to get. I need to deal with Peeves before he gets us both in trouble."

Finn looks at you as if asking you if you're sure. You just nod and sprint after Peeves, the last thing you hear is a distant "Repairo" before making it back to the library.

"PEEVES YOU STUPID POLTERGEIST." You try catching him, forgetting he's a literal ghost as your arms flail right through him.

"Y/n Sallow." You jump at the voice of Madam Agnes behind you. You slowly turn around while Peeves chuckles menacingly at your head hung low in shame. "And to think I'd get a break from the Sallow siblings, you come running along. Wait until your uncle hears about this."

"No. No no no-" You get interrupted by her. "That's enough. You're a bright student, you should know better than to go sneaking around the restricted section especially after curfew."

"But Madam Agnes-"

"And Peeves here tells me you were with someone else." Peeves twirls and rolls around mid-air, celebrating your punishment. "Please tell me you were forced to come here by someone's hand instead of it being your own choice."

There's a pause. You could never snitch on Finn like that. You only just met him but you know better than to put his record at risk on his first week of school here. This was your own choice anyway, you weren't forced. Finn helped you down there, so you're gonna help him.

"No. I came here all alone." You said in a low but stern voice.

Madam Agnes sighs at your lie, but she knew how stubborn you and your brother were, so she let it slide.

"Detention after classes tomorrow. You're going to sort the books to their respective places until they're all done. It doesn't matter if it takes you all night." Your shoulders slump. "Peeves, escort her to her common room, please."

With a sigh from you and an evil chuckle from the poltergeist, you begin your walk to your common room. At least Finn's in the clear now.

Little did you know, Finn saw the whole thing from behind one of the shelves. He couldn't help but let a grateful smile reach his lips.

--

The next day, Finn runs to the library to find you after his classes. It's already dark out by the time he finishes his extra tasks and from talking to Professor Fig. He doesn't know why he's in such a hurry, but he won't let his confidence escape him just yet.

Once he's in, he find the library to be completely empty, not even Madam Agnes in sight. He hears distant curses and shuffling coming from the second floor and he can only assume the source being your complaining.

As he follows the sounds of frustrated mumbles, he finally finds you at the end of the second floor in a dark corner holding a bunch of books to shelf up. He smiles at the sight of you awkwardly balancing everything in your one hand and walks over to you, taking a pile of books from you.

"Need help there?" He looks at you with a teasing smirk.

You look at him with a grumpy face. "Oh haha, Weasley. I can handle this on my own, thank you very much." You snatch back the books he took from you, instant regret flooding your features as you immediately struggle to balance them.

Finn immediately takes them back from you and effortlessly holds them over his head, extending his arm upwards far from your reach.

"Hey- Hand those back, Weasley." You try hopping to reach the books he so graciously stole from you.

He chuckles at your efforts while you claw up his chest and shoulders, trying to tug down his arm. After a harsh tug, Finn loses balance of the books he's holding and he tries catching them but ends up stumbling forwards.

The books fall to the side as Finn catches himself on the bookshelf, trapping you between it and himself.

You lock eyes with him, your hands clutched tightly onto the thin material of his shirt over his chest. You're both breathing heavily, chests almost touching with every breath.

You can feel Finn hesitate as his hands slowly reach to cup the back of your neck, his thumb over your cheek. No matter how much you willed yourself to, your simply could not take your eyes off him.

"Thank you." He whispers. Your eyebrows furrow.

"For what?"

"For covering for me." His stare snapping between your eyes and lips. "I heard you in the library after we got caught."

"You mean after I caught got?" You tease.

Finn smirks at your remark, his hold on your neck squeezing for a second. "Whatever you say, sweetheart." The nickname melts into your ears and into the rushed beats of your heart.

"Hey, Finn?" The use of his first name makes the blood rush to his cheeks, his breath hitches.

"Yeah?"

"You dropped my books."

"Shut up." Finn lets out in a desperate breath before pulling you into him, his lips roughly but passionately meeting yours.

His other hand shifts from the side of your head to tangle into your hair, tugging it lightly. You let out a little whimper, but that's all it took for Finn to deepen the kiss even more, his tongue slightly grazing yours. Breaths were escaping through your noses, desperate for air but never desperate enough to separate from each other.

Your fingers weave through his long, soft ginger locks. Your other hand clutches desperately onto the collar of his shirt.

You both finally pull away from each other, your hands gliding down to rest on his chest.

"Fuck." Finn leans his forehead on yours, leaning in for another quick peck. His hazel eyes are glazed over, looking into yours like they hold the world. He slowly brushes a strand of your hair behind your hair, memorising your face as you memorise his.

"I was hoping you'd do that." You chuckle breathlessly. Finn laughs with you, his eyes holding nothing but love as they stare into yours. "Oh yeah?" You nod, your nose lightly touching his.

"Now help me with these books, Weasley. You're still responsible for my detention." You playfully push him away and start picking up the books he previously dropped.

"And I'd do it again as long as it ends like this every time." He smiles at you cheekily.

"Do it again and I'm telling Sebastian you used a love potion on me."

And with that he got to work helping you sort the books out.

[mousydentist]

February 9th T-5 Days

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize anyone else came here.” Chay looks up from his phone to the door of the music room where a boy is peeking his head in. Kim, Chay thinks his name is. They sat together on the first day of classes, and Kim asked to borrow a pen. 

“No worries, you can come in, if you want. It’s just me.”

Kim hesitates for a second before grinning. “Thanks. You’re Chay, right? We have calculus together.”

Chay groans. “Please don’t remind me of that torture disguised as education.”

Kim laughs, sitting next to him and pulling a lunch box out of his bag. “So I’m not the only one who thinks that?”

“Nope,” Chay confirms. “And I bet you’re also thinking about how it’s taught by an old geezer with a stick up his ass, which I have to agree with.”

Kim almost chokes on his food, looking at Chay with a mixture of confusion and amusement. “I’m not sure I would’ve put it that way, but you’re not wrong.”

Chay laughs. “Do you come here a lot, by the way? I come here almost every day, but we’ve never crossed paths.”

Kim nods, swallowing a bite of food before speaking. “I do too, but I usually have student council meetings during this block.”

"Student council?"

"I'm the president."

Chay whistles, impressed. He probably should've known that, but he doesn't care much about class events.

"Cool," he says, then tilts his head. “Do you play?” he asks, gesturing at the decorative little guitar pick dangling from Kim’s necklace.

“Yeah, I do, actually. You too?” Chay nods. 

“Do you have one of your own?” Chay asks, and he sees Kim’s eyes light up.

“I do. I don’t mean to brag, but,” he says, leaning in as he pulls out his phone to show Chay a picture.

After that, the flood gates open. They talk for hours. Not hours. They talk for the whole lunch break, but it feels like hours. Chay’s never had a better first impression of someone. Whenever he meets new people, even when he first met Ohm, he tends to be very polite, smiling kindly and being slightly reserved. But today? He feels like he can’t stop talking, and Kim returns his enthusiasm in kind. It’s like they’ve been good friends for years, rather than strangers until thirty minutes ago. He's surprised how nice it is to hang out with Kim, but maybe that's his own biases about The Popular Kids creeping in.

Their interests seem perfectly aligned, and they don’t run out of things to talk about the whole time. Chay wants to invite Kim over so he can show him the guitar Porsche got him for Christmas, and they can play together. It’s very weird, since Chay’s never wanted to bring anyone over, let alone someone he just met. It’s not even that he thinks Kim would decline, Kim seems just as thrilled as he is to be sharing these kinds of conversations.

To be honest, he feels a little special to see a side of the boy he doesn’t show to just anyone. Well, at least, he’s never shown it to Chay before... He feels a little less special after that thought. This is probably how Kim is with all his friends, and since Chay’s never had a proper conversation with him before, it would make sense that he’s never seen it.

They talk all the way up until the bell rings, letting them know they have five minutes to get to their next class, which, conveniently, is one they share. Chay stands and cracks his back, stiff from how he was leaning back on his arms. Kim waits for him to grab his bag before they start walking together.

“Valentine’s Day is coming up,” Kim says, holding the door open for Chay. “Have anyone special you’re gonna buy chocolates for?”

Chay chuckles a little. “Not me. I’m too busy trying to graduate.”

Kim nods his head, looking forward as they walk through the halls.

Chay bites his cheek. It’s the first awkward silence since they started talking, and he doesn’t like it at all.

“What about you?” Chay asks to get the conversation flowing again.

Kim just shrugs.

Having no idea what to do with that, Chay keeps his mouth shut. 

When they enter the classroom, Chay walks slowly, not sure if he’s supposed to sit in his usual seat or follow Kim. When Kim sits down and doesn’t acknowledge Chay, he takes it as a sign and almost starts to walk past Kim to his seat down the aisle, but he pauses, bites his lip, working up the nerve. 

Finally, he turns back to Kim and holds out his phone.

“Can I get your number?” Chay says, which immediately sounds more forward than he was hoping for. But Kim just blinks at him, then chuckles and hands over his own phone. Chay quickly types his number in, and when he gets his phone back there’s a new contact: kim :)

[soleilnomoon]

Prompt: “I don’t like them; I can barely tolerate them.” for Abarai Renji. Once again, I leave it up to you what you wanna do (but maybe enemies to lovers) Yes, I might be on a little Bleach binge right now but it's okay you like it. kiss kiss

*hides face* ok, ok, ok, hear me out, let's pretend i didn't take *insert accurate length of time here* and say i wrote this in a few days. i am so sorry i took forever and ever with this but as u know i can only give u top quality work or else i'll never forgive myself. renji is.......well *motions to him* yk how that man is, he made me suffer!!!! in a good way!!! but still i suffered!!! yk how much i love enemies 2 lovers u big brained beauty 🤭 so ty baby❤️️ also this is my first renji fic and i can't belev it.

5.2k words (don't look at me, just don't), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni, enemies 2 lovers, angst city, angst angst city biiiitch (yk the vibez babey), smut obviously, no fluff bc who do u think i am? feat. renji being a mean petty bitch (i guess that makes him a mean dom maybe yes), sub reader bc that's what i want; there's a party with alcohol, ichigo and co. make brief appearances, bathroom sex, choking (he's sf romantic), a lot of cursing bc they're grown that's why, renji is a beast when he's jealous, reader is a lil bit of a brat but lbr who wouldn't be in that situation; mutual ""unrequited"" pining, lots of tension, fingering, rough (consensual) sex, lil bit of degradation, lil bit of a size kink, lil bit of praise kink, idk there's probably more stuff but i'm so tired rn i can't think; um renji obviously comes w his own gd warning; reader is determined to not let this man win but, hello, it's renji he always comes out on top wink wink. (if u see spelling errors/mistakes no u didn't hottie)

“when i write about all of this it becomes its own kind of violence. / i retell the story as myth, as if it were my own body devoured.” — caitlin scarano & “so much of love is violence. the desire / to be split open, invaded, mangled / and made new.” — erin slaughter

HATRED X TASTES X SWEET

you’ve never been cut out for this line of work, but your insistence on eliminating all your shortcomings is commendable. brave, even. it’s something you don’t really think about unless you want to spend the night half-drunk, rambling about the things you should’ve done but never had the courage to do.

like telling a certain red-haired, bullheaded lieutenant that he’s the most ridiculous and excessively arrogant man you’ve ever come across. all in all, you’re pretty sure telling him off won’t phase him; nothing ever does, not really anyway.

at first you try politeness; your grandmother would be proud of how well you’ve learned to bite your tongue. it’s ungraceful, but you fake it well enough that others think your emotional maturity is far above theirs. little do they know, you actually have to literally bite your tongue; simply remaining silent isn’t easy for you anymore. so, when you bite, it’s with rage, months of unshed tears and accumulated spite; you bite your tongue so hard you bleed more every time.

your unsaid words bunch together — tiny soldiers determined to strike in unison without fail — and sit heavily in the back of your throat, ready to launch forward at your command.

but you never say them, and you choke more than once; an unbearable shame to carry with you as he continues to slash at your patience, thin ribbons cascading off you like confetti. you wonder if your anger will lead to your death— or if it’ll lead to his. you intend to keep all of that hidden, though, and keep reminding yourself that eventually he will tire from berating you, from talking to you as if you’re the most incompetent being in all of soul society, from looking at you like your very being disgusts him.

that’s what you tell yourself these days. you like to conveniently ignore the way his dark eyes linger on yours during meetings — you’ve noticed that people have taken to describing them as soulless, cold and critical, unimpressed at everything and anyone.

but you see him — all of him; the raw, feral, powerful and severe side that not many have the misfortune of knowing. they think they get the real version of renji whenever they deal with him, but they never do; you know that now. you doubt it’s even intentional on his part, or maybe — just maybe — he really does hate you.

to put it plainly, as you’ve told rukia and rangiku, the sixth division lieutenant has the biggest fucking chip on his shoulder. despite the walls he continues to put up to keep others from carving out a place for themselves in his life, despite the way his words roll around his mouth, clumsily coasting down the length of his tongue before they pierce the air around you with their toxicity — you’re tired of the way he purposely singles you out time and time again to point out your inadequacies without remorse.

abarai renji is also sick of dealing with you. whenever he thinks he’s found a means of scaring you off, you scurry right back more determined and more obnoxious than ever. which is rich, coming from him.

he claims you’re inconsequential, a nuisance — a pest, even — one that he intends to get rid of permanently. it’s harsh and he’s more than aware of that, but he finds that this is the most appropriate solution to his problem. he could easily ignore you; he could try to keep his comments to himself and try to be somewhat cordial whenever you cross paths. but he won’t. and he has no damn idea why.

“no, no come in, i have plenty of snacks for everyone.”

rukia’s voice is a constant in his life that he’ll always be thankful for. he watches her glide into the room, grinning at the friends she’s invited over, her laughter like soft bells that is easily recognizable even with all the conversation happening. when he feels his chest constrict, an uncomfortable, yet familiar warmth stretching over his skin, he decides to drink so that he can ignore the sensation and forget.

a feeble attempt, because he knows how this will all end — with him drunk off his ass in an even worse mood than he started.

mouth opening, renji prepares to tell rukia to get better sake, when rangiku leads you into the living room where he’s lounging comfortably. the bottle in his hand grows heavier by the second and suddenly he’s not very interested in drinking anymore. already, his foul mood from earlier returns, and every step you take only fuels his irritation; it bubbles underneath his skin, making him frown and grip the bottle tighter.

you don’t need to look at him to know that he’s glaring at you — he always is. rangiku feigns obliviousness as she encourages you to go make yourself comfortable while she fetches snacks with rukia. you stare at both of them, wide-eyed, confused — a pleading look sliding onto your face after a few moments, but they assure you both that they’ll be back shortly.

with a sigh you sit on the armchair adjacent to him, determined to just remain quiet in the hopes that he’ll just ignore you for once. sitting up straight, discomfort finds its way to the pit of your stomach, swirling around as you fidget with the bracelet around your wrist. his eyes watch your movements with an obsessiveness that startles him; there’s no reason why he should be interested in the shape of your fingers, there’s no reason why he should be interested in the way you keep brushing stray curls away from your face, and there’s no reason why he should be interested in possibly fucking you when he knows for a fact that he is absolutely uninterested in you.

his disinterest runs so deep it spoils the taste of the sake, but he takes another swig anyway. the alcohol burns as it travels swiftly down his throat, and it just so happens that you glance over at him — innocuous, an attempt to gauge his annoyance level — as his throat bobs and your mouth dries at the sight.

you turn your face away quickly, a traitorous flush crawling slowly along your skin, unjustly warming your cheeks. inhaling deeply, you do your best to will the blush away to no avail. where the hell are rukia and rangiku? surely it can’t take that long to grab snacks. you’re tempted to go find them, but you have a sinking feeling that it would turn you into a coward.

and you refuse to give that man any more ammo against you.

IT’S X (NOT) X YOU

what initially starts as a small get-together, quickly turns into a party; leave it to rangiku to liven things up, her laughter infectious and whimsical, flitting about like a persistent hummingbird as she encourages everyone to play drinking games with her. experience taught him better than to engage because despite his high tolerance, there’s really no beating rangiku when she’s on a roll.

but when you emphatically agree to play with the rest, fury rises in his chest; your audacity, it seems, knows no bounds — and, yes, he understands the hypocrisy in his critique. he just doesn’t care.

the games are every bit as simple and ridiculous as you thought they’d be, but as everyone seems to be in relatively good spirits, you play along. not normally competitive with things like this, you get into the swing of things when you win round after round.

cheers resound nearby at your success, but throughout the evening, you feel renji’s stare and do everything in your power to not give in and look back at him. a tough feat to say the least, as you are always acutely aware of his presence; and when you do happen to sneak another glance, his legs are spread and you curse under your breath for finding that attractive.

foolish, you chide, so fucking foolish.

renji sucks his teeth as he feels a heaviness in his head; groaning loudly he swirls around what little sake he has left in his glass before finishing it.

“you lose again,” rukia’s voice is soft and teasing, but he’s annoyed and can’t be bothered with talking to her right now. she pats his shoulder gingerly before standing up to head to the kitchen. his mind is a mess and he blames you for it completely.

“i don’t fucking care,” he says gruffly to her retreating figure, not bothering to elevate his voice as he’s sure she heard him. and he really doesn’t care; he’s trying to tell himself to calm down, but he can’t.

the fault completely lies with you — of course it does, everything you do agitates every cell in his body. the reason is simple, and he hates that he doesn’t want to admit it — he’s so undeniably attracted to you that it pisses him off. he takes in your appearance for the twelfth time that night, admiring the softness of your cheeks, the fullness of your lips, the way you seem entirely too animated as you laugh at someone’s lame joke — and yes, he can tell it’s not funny from how your laughter dies down after a few seconds.

if he had better sense, he’d stop looking at you, but he can’t now; he might blame the sake for this later.

the intensity behind his gaze is enough to bring an inextinguishable heat along your skin. it’s only unpleasant because it travels down to your lower abdomen and brings about an agonizing ache between your thighs. at first, you do the sensible thing and ignore it; but the longer he stares, the more you want to look over, until finally you can’t take it anymore.

“i’ll be back,” you mumble to the other guests, although you doubt they hear you with how rowdy everyone is being; the noise isn’t unwelcomed, the distraction serves to mask your footsteps when you scurry from the living room to the back corridor, turning corner after corner until you find the bathroom.

a coward — that’s what you are.

you barricade yourself in there without thinking, heart pounding loud enough to disorient you. after several long minutes, you splash water on your face and take a few deep breaths.

“i can’t believe i ran away,” your voice is so soft you barely hear the words — almost as if you’re still in disbelief over the entire situation. there’s something off about renji tonight; the tension between you was more palatable and tangible than normal.

even though you feigned nonchalance as best as you could, there were so many moments where you couldn’t help but watch him too. pitiful. absolutely pitiful. there’s no excuse for it, and yet you struggle to find one anyway.

as you look at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, you try to convince yourself to head back out there. sooner or later, people will realize that you’ve gone missing — and rangiku is nosy enough and like a bloodhound when she’s drunk. your time is incredibly limited now.

there’s no reason for you to continue to avoid the inevitable, so you sigh and give yourself a small pep talk before heading back outside.

TRUTH X OR X …

renji’s mood doesn’t improve at all; in fact, it worsens the moment ichigo sits right next to him. he’s not even sure why this sets him off, but even closing his eyes and counting backwards does nothing to keep him calm.

with slight difficulty, renji grits out, “what do you want?”

undeterred, ichigo stares at renji pointedly, voice steady as he says, “you could go after her, you know.”

again, renji sucks his teeth loudly, arms folded against his chest, right leg bouncing slightly as he taps his foot on the floor. punching ichigo would be pointless, and then rukia would get involved and he doesn’t have time to deal with the fallout from that so he keeps his hands to himself.

besides, his anger is obviously misdirected right now. he knows — he knows —but he doesn’t care, so he doesn’t mince his words when he responds with, “go after who?” through his peripheral, he can see ichigo’s patience has also reached its limit.

“you’re not that stupid, so stop acting like it.”

normally, renji would take the opportunity to mes s around and argue back and forth, but he might actually fight his friend if he doesn’t walk away. so, he does; abrupt and without looking back, footsteps heavy on the hardwood floor.

maybe he just needs to change his approach with you, maybe talking things out would work in his favor; or maybe he needs to fuck you hard enough to purge you from his mind.

he lies to himself when he considers the first option, because it’s the second option that drives him to walk a little faster, head full of impossible thoughts as he wonders just how far you’d let him go.

when renji finally finds you, you’re in the middle of rebuffing the advances of an unfamiliar guest — they’re drunk, handsy, and keep oscillating between giving you cheesy pick-up lines and berating you for rejecting them. but you stand firm, and your voice is relatively loud when you tell them, “for the last fucking time, go away.”

under normal circumstances, renji would let you handle this yourself; he has no desire to play prince charming or be a knight in shining armor. you’re more than capable, and he’s seen the way you fight and argue to defend yourself — but, it’s when they place a wandering hand on your hip that he loses sight of all of that.

a brief moment passes, where your blood boils as you contemplate how best to kick their ass, but you never get the chance. a rather large shadow hovers over you both, but you already know who it is without having to look properly.

renji is a force to be reckoned with on a good day, but he’s at his fucking limit right now.

he doesn’t ask, doesn’t give any options for retreat, doesn’t say a word when he yanks them off with a brute strength that surprises even you.

now, can he really be blamed for throwing them into the neighboring wall hard enough to make a noticeable hole? and is it really his fault that the drunk can hardly walk as they clutch their broken arm while murmuring something unintelligible, something that renji takes as a sign of them wanting a repeat demonstration?

consequences be damned, he gives the drunk a lethal look before they scramble away in fear.

“loser,” he says loud enough for them to hear, but they don’t double back or even try to go toe-to-toe with the hot-headed lieutenant. you watch, half-amused and half-impressed with the unnecessary machismo, but still, you know better than to chastise him right now, especially when your heart sputters out of control from his proximity.

“…thanks,” you say, a faint flush on your cheeks, voice soft, head fuzzy when you realize that renji — aka mr. “i’ll fight you on everything any day of the week unprovoked for no reason other than to drive you crazy” — saved you. unprompted at that.

you make the mistake of looking up at him, your nerves prompting you to take a small step back when you realize that the usual hostility that renji reserves for you specifically is nowhere to be found. in its place is something more unreadable — or, rather, you don’t want to read into it for fear of being wrong.

renji steps closer, which makes you back up again until your back hits the wall and you’re no longer able to escape.

“we need to talk,” he says suddenly, but you shake your head, non-verbally objecting to the idea, curls bouncing wildly with your exaggerated movements. since he knows he’s pressed for time, he grabs your face with his large hand and stops you from moving. “that wasn’t a request.”

swallowing rusty nails would be better than dealing with your conflicting feelings over renji right now, because he’s much too close to you and now you’re forgetting why it is you hate him in the first place. ironically, he’s in the exact same position. so far, he’s acted on impulse over you more times than he can count tonight, but he supposes that’s to be expected — you are a wildcard, after all.

“what if i don’t want to.” your response is clumsy, the words tumbling one after the other. “what if i want you to leave?” you don’t actually mean that, but you throw it at him anyway, to see if maybe this was all a fluke, and maybe, just maybe he’ll remember himself and you both can go back to fighting like usual.

he considers your question, goes so far as to release your face to wrap his hand around your throat instead. your sharp inhale and parted lips tell him all he needs to know.

with a slightly raised brow, he asks, “well, do you?”

because if you do, he’ll walk away right now. but he knows what your answer will be, he just has to drag it out of you. he squeezes your neck to remind you to hurry it up, and before you can answer him properly, he places his leg in between yours, pressing close enough that you roll your hips forward while whimpering softly.

he really didn’t think any of this through, but luckily the adrenaline from it all won’t wear off anytime soon, so he’ll improvise along the way. he spent most of the night dealing with a semi-hard cock that wouldn’t listen to reason no matter how many times he tried to stop thinking about you. but now? all of that restraint goes out of the window, and before he can question it, he kisses you.

you’ve kissed plenty of people in your life — some good, most were mediocre and uninspiring — but renji actually takes your breath away. everything about him commands all your attention; from the way his lips move against yours greedily, leaving behind burning kisses that make your nipples harden underneath your clothes — to the way he thrusts his tongue in between your plush lips, licking inside of your mouth hotly, igniting an inextinguishable flame deep inside of you.

he grabs your hip with his free hand, squeezing hard, fingers digging firmly. all the irritation from earlier dissipates completely, leaving you feeling lightheaded and needy; you grind against him recklessly, arousal dampening the front of your panties, clit sensitive as it rubs against the delicate fabric. his cock presses against you — thick, long, and hard — and you wonder if this is why he’s so angry with you all the time.

was it always that simple?

if you asked the question aloud, he wouldn’t know what to tell you — it’s a combination of things, but mostly he’s an idiot; he knows that now, but likewise you’re an idiot too. you just don’t realize it yet.

it’s renji who pulls away first, lightly panting, breath warm against your lips as he releases his hold on your neck. he doesn’t know where he finds the strength to string together a coherent statement, but his voice is low and husky when he speaks. “answer my question.”

you blink at him, completely in a daze, lips slightly swollen from all the kissing. “wh-what?” you don’t remember what he asked you, and you don’t care.

“do you want me to leave?”

for some reason, you completely forgot that you told him that. you rub your lips together and run your hands along his chest. “no.” the answer comes out automatically, without hesitation, and that’s all the encouragement he needs.

“good.”

SAY X IT X LOUDER

he picks you up with ease, almost as if you weigh nothing; a small squeal spills out of you as you wrap your legs around his waist, and renji gives you a sly smile — one laced with mischief and an unspoken promise of what’s to come.

you’re back in the bathroom again, this time sitting on the counter with renji standing in between your legs. his hands coast along your curvy hips and down your thighs. he’s touching you but he’s not touching you and it’s driving you crazy.

with hurried, eager hands you both undress, and for the umpteenth time you internally curse this style of uniform; still, it doesn’t take too long before his hands are on you again, calloused palms rough and warm against your skin. he places a kiss on your jaw, then another on your neck right underneath your earlobe; each kiss he leaves behind distorts your common sense, makes you feel irrational and impatient. your hands are soft and well-practiced, stroking his stiff cock as his hips jerk forward from your touch.

he can’t remember the last time someone had him this worked up, which pisses him off a little; because that means him fucking you once won’t settle things. at that thought, renji bites your neck and your startled yelp quickly morphs into a moan when he runs his tongue along the mark. he dips his hand in between your thighs, rubbing his thick fingers against your slit. a loud banging on the door has you looking over, and you can’t remember if he bothered to lock it once you both were inside.

your attention nearly falters, but when he pinches your clit you buck your hips, a shiver shooting down your spine at the slight pain.

“eyes on me,” is all he says, seemingly annoyed that you would dare to focus your attention elsewhere, “always keep them on me.” what he means by that, he doesn’t know, but you take the command at face value and nod while swallowing. he slides a finger inside of your wet pussy, and while you initially wanted to keep quiet to avoid suspicion and to prevent anyone from intruding, but you can’t now.

“renji,” you breathe, fingers trembling as you hold onto the counter for support, he thrusts his finger in and out, quick and hard, before inserting another. you clench around him, hips rocking forward as he fingerfucks you and grinds his palm against your clit. you close your eyes and moan louder than you mean to, chest heaving, thoughts jumbled and incoherent. he scissors his fingers inside of you, but quickly removes them without prompting.

“fuck!” you open your eyes again and stare at him in disbelief. “why did you stop?”

he laughs darkly and grabs your face roughly, fingers pressing into your soft skin without remorse. “what did i tell you earlier?” everything about this situation is laughable. he gave you very specific instructions, ones he thought were easy enough for you to follow. for some reason your movements are sluggish, mind in a haze as you scramble to remember but nothing comes to mind.

as you open and close your mouth, looking every bit as adorable as you are alluring, he decides to show you a bit of kindness.

“get down.” his command comes swift, his patience practically nonexistent; precum glides down the head of his thick cock, but he ignores it for the sake of teaching you a lesson. you don’t bother waiting for him to repeat himself and slide off the counter. “turn around.”

like a doll, your movements are dictated by renji with simple, short statements. nothing about that phases you, though; it’s all very exciting, so when you do turn to face the counter, you bend forward and lean over the counter. renji admires the roundness of your ass and slaps it hard.

again, you find yourself moaning loudly, without shame and not caring about the volume of your voice. surely the others won’t pay attention, as they’re still very drunk and are entertaining themselves with more games. another slap on your ass has you grabbing onto the counter again, legs shaking, arousal dripping between your thighs in anticipation. if renji doesn’t fuck you soon, you might actually die.

he knows he’s taking too damn long, but it’s much more interesting making you work for him. he rubs the tip of his cock against your puffy pussy, gliding it in between your slick folds, your moans sweetly wrapping around him once he pushes inside of you slowly. someone bangs on the door again, making you look over, anxiety quickly filling your head with unnecessary what ifs that almost command your full attention.

with narrowed eyes, renji grabs onto your hair, curls soft in his hand, and yanks hard.

“the fuck did i say earlier?”

goosebumps travel down your arms as a different kind of awareness and clarity surges through you quickly. you blink at your reflection, watching the way he towers over you, his muscles hard and defined — sculpted from years of training and dedication to honing his skills. it hits you then, what he’s really asking you.

“to,” you swallow thickly, throat dry, “to keep my eyes on you always.” you say it all in one breath, gasping when he runs his tongue along the curve of your ear. you don’t know how much more you can take, but you know if you complain, if you say anything he might stop altogether.

renji’s smile is wicked and dark, his lips graze your earlobe, voice deep and gravelly, a huskiness that wasn’t there before as he thrusts into you, burying his cock deeply.

“good girl.”

he refrains from kissing you properly, instead pushing you down so you can lean over the counter again. your mind melts from it all, and you’re panting, heart beating faster and faster as he firmly places a hand on your back.

“you’re squeezing me so tight,” he remarks thoughtfully, although you note the slight strain in his voice; as much as he tries to act like he’s not that affected by you, you know that isn’t the case at all. your pussy is every bit as enticing and heavenly as he knew it would be; he pulls back and slams his cock into you all over again, filling you completely. you try to keep watching him in the mirror, but he’s fucking you like he’s angry with himself for being so attracted to you.

and he absolutely is. it’s a truth he fought against for so long that he’s given up on denying it now. your moans drip onto his skin like caramel, sticky and sweet, and when you say his name like that — your voice going higher and higher from the ferocity of his thrusts — he nearly loses his mind.

“fuck,” he says out loud, grabbing your hip roughly, your wetness coating the length of his cock, “you’re taking me so well.” he knows you can’t really answer him, and he likes that; you’re beyond caring at this point, instead focusing on the way his cock reaches a spot that has you bouncing your ass and fucking yourself against him. normally, renji would play around and edge you in retaliation, but he’s too far gone, completely under the spell of your pretty pussy, with how soft and tight it is.

you’re not sure how you got here, but you’re drowning in ecstasy right now. he instructs you to lift your leg to rest it onto the counter, pulling out momentarily to help you position and spread your legs further apart. he plunges his cock into you again, keeping his hips closer as he gives you shorter, frenzied thrusts. your head spins and you can’t think straight, but that doesn’t matter. all you care about is the way renji is angling his hips, rolling them forward to pound into your cunt roughly, balls heavy as they smack against your ass.

“oh, oh, oh.” you swear your life flashes before your eyes, because something possesses him, his strokes shorter, brutal, and frenetic. drool slides down your chin, your voice hoarse from how loud you’ve been. you’re sure someone’s heard you by now, but you don’t care.

how can you?

with renji fucking you like this — merciless and possessive, fingers brusing your skin, almost as if he wants to make sure you’ll be as obsessed with him as he is with you — your common decency, your morals, everything that makes you you, they don’t exist.

all that’s left is this burning desire to let him have his way with you for as long as he wants. thankfully, you have enough sense to not admit that out loud; who knows what kind smugness you’ll be subjected to if renji knew.

but you’re pretty damn transparent about it, he can tell from the way you can’t stop clenching your pussy around his cock, from how your pussy makes loud, lewd squelching noises — ones that he’ll commit to memory so he can revisit them from time to time.

tears roll down your cheeks and you sob as you hold onto the counter as best as you can, back arching, hips rocking against him with a neediness you never knew you had. there’s a tightening in your stomach and your pulse skyrocketing as a flash of white practically blinds you. he watches the way your pussy keeps swallowing the length of his cock, and you finally fall over the edge, orgasm suffocating you with its intensity.

your cunt flutters around him, gummy walls soft and hypnotic, an addiction he never thought he’d have; breathing heavily, his muscles tense and renji groans something that suspiciously sounds like your name. the thought alone makes your face burn and warms your chest in a way that doesn’t make sense. and when he finally cums, he humps into you, cum thick and hot as it spills inside your pussy, mixing with your slick wetness. a completely messy affair, but he doesn’t care — it’s not his bathroom, after all.

legs trembling, you’re limp and incapable of movement, whimpering and whining until he finally pulls out of you.

renji runs a hand down his face, feeling spent but more than satisfied. suddenly his shoulders aren’t so tight and tense, and his mood is much more tolerable. you do your best to stand but almost fall — your legs are useless, turned to jelly because of the man behind you. he chuckles at that, then clears his throat once he realizes. he fully expected there to be a moment of awkwardness after, but it never comes. when he sees your face — lips bruised and swollen, face flushed, eyes glazed with a faraway look — he feels compelled to kiss you again. so, he does. it’s not sweet, nor is it tender, but it still makes your heart swell all the same. he holds you close as you wrap your arms around his neck, doing your best to keep standing, even though your legs are ready to give out.

you don’t know exactly what any of this means, but you do understand him a bit better now. he’s terrible with expressing himself, but you kind of like that about him; and maybe this isn’t the healthiest relationship, but life was uncertain and you’d take renji fucking you like it’s his last day alive over him openly hating you any day.

[redbreastedbird]

Hi!

Just wanted to say that I really love how much you love your books - you're their biggest fan and it shows :D

I know of some authors who are rather disconnected from what they write but when you do, it feels (to me at least, as a reader!) like you pull your heart and soul into it. I couldn't wait to go to the library and see if a new book had come out as a kid, and I just felt like they were funny, and true, and I related to them in a particular manner (in hindsight, it's the queerness and the autism), and just generally so well-written they always surprised me.

I remember moving to Hong Kong from London and, within my first year of living there, seeing (and reading) A Spoonful of Murder - and for the first time I was reading a book that represented some of my life experiences. I saw myself in several of the characters and I remember BEAMING when I read ASOM because I thought holy shit that's me*. And to a 10-year-old at the time, that feeling meant a lot.

Also, your portrayal of queerness was probably one of the first I saw in a book that I could recognise, and I'm only now realising that that did pave the way to me now identifying as genderfluid and aroace. Even though (to be honest) I haven't read MMU in years, I still remember it and think of it fondly, because of what it meant to me - I was the new, foreign girl in the school when I first encountered Hazel; I was discovering Hong Kong with Daisy; and, though I didn't know it at the time, I was also queer and autistic.

So thank you, thank you, thank you for writing these books. It's clear that you love them so much and that in return makes me love them even more because I feel happy that the author loves them and answers questions about them and in a way is LIKE ME!

I remember writing my first piece of fanfiction (though I didn't know what it was back then) in class when I was bored and kept thinking of MMU. I've lost the paper now, but that was the first moment that would eventually lead me to fandom and becoming who I am today.

So thank you. ❤️

(Also, I do think your books also helped, though more subtly, with me going to university to do English!)

*in a slightly more polite way considering I didn't swear back then, but the sentiment remains the same

One of the greatest privileges of being an author is being able to discover who you really are by looking at the people who find themselves in your books.

I love my books, and you love my books, and here we are, loving these books together and realising that we are exactly the same kind of person. It’s like the pointing spider-men meme, but better.

I am so very proud, as a person who is slightly further along in life than you, to have been able to help guide you forwards with the stories I wrote. That’s just amazing, and it’s amazing to know what you’ve done as a result. Look at you! You’re wonderful! I couldn’t be prouder.

[sickficideas]

okay, recently this idea has been infecting my brain, idk where else to put it, here we are :D

y’know how Kenji’s ability requires him to be hungry? and how not eating for long periods of time can give you a head rush?

and y’know how fevers can do the same thing? yeah, I got ideas w/ those

him going in to work, assuming he feels sore because his gift gives him strength.

he feels warm, maybe because he’s out on field duty?

he feels tired, but like he said, it’s sunny out, must be related to the heat.

his stomach hurts, but meh, he’s just hungry. probably should’ve eaten dinner last night, but he was so tired, he just fell onto his bed when he got home.

he sits down at his desk and is wracked with chills, because it’s so hot out, they must have turned up the air conditioning.

he always feels dizzy getting up from his desk, so this time is no different. even if as the hours go on, the dizziness gets worse.

his coworkers keep looking at him funny, but he’s used to ignoring that by now (although, it’s a little odd coming from people he knows)

the final straw is when he stands up too fast, and instead of just closing his eyes to block out the dizziness, his knees shake and he’s forced to sit down, the second change in elevation only makes his head hurt. he feels like he’s gonna pass out, and he resists from putting his head between his knees, choosing instead to tense his shoulders. it’ll go away eventually, like it always does. he heads someone say his name distantly.

meanwhile, Kunikida had been watching all day. he and Atsushi had already said something multiple times, which resulted in either a polite denial, or no response at all. he sees the exact moment Kenji falls back into his seat, and gets up immediately, shouting his name. everyone turns to them, but he doesn’t care, he just walks over to set a hand on his shoulder.

aaaaand idk what to do so imma just leave it there 👍👍👍

anyway, thoughts on the kenji hc/idea?

this is a beautiful sequence of events and description on your part, please let me know if you ever write bsd sickfics !!!

This is so cute I really do love Kenji so much he's just baby...I can totally see this happening because he's very politely stubborn lol he has a Taurus soul...the nature of his ability would definitely make him dismiss a lot of uncomfortable symptoms in general...there's an Anthology chapter about him getting a cold/fever from overworking himself and the other ADA members feeling responsible for not looking after him so I like that angle too...!! They worry about him he's their emotional support dog for real they have to make sure he's taking care of himself too 🥺

I'm thinking about Beast Kenji too because really the closest person to Kenji in any iteration of BSD is Beast Akutagawa 😭😭 Their friendship means so much to me 😭😭😭😭 I love the idea of this happening to Kenji while they're working together, and Kenji is too out of it to walk so Akutagawa carries him back😭 he's concerned because he knows exactly what not eating for a long time is like and how that can cloud your judgement when you're already unwell so he tries to look out for him more closely from that point forward🥺🥺

[agirlandherquill]

Written In Smoke - The Letter Stained In Ink

this week's letter comes to you fresh off the high of finishing reading a book, which i'll be sure to ramble about a little later on so bear with me, a few things have happened this week so here goes!

A Glimpse Through Time - little bits about me and what I’ve been up to this week

the past few days at least have been a lot, a good lot don't get me wrong, but a lot, now here's what I've been up to

A great chunk of my Saturday afternoon comprised of watching F1 (slipping in another fact about me, i'm a big fan), watching the practice, then an F2 sprint and then the F1 Qualifying for the big race - and i'm so freaking happy because my two favourite drivers are in the top 3 positions for tomorrow (you can tell this is written mere minutes after watching the madness) - it's also pretty cool because the track for the UK's race isn't all that far from me, and I'm hoping to grab tickets for next season

While I was watching the incredible chaos of F1, I was also reading, bit more on that below, but the universe must love me because the race finished the same moment that I read the final sentence of my book - talk about timing

I BOOKED MY TRIP TO BATH - I'm so so excited to go and see the Jane Austen Centre and Mary Shelley's House of Frankenstein, issue is I have just over a week to read 4 more Jane Austen books (I've only read persuasion and pride and prejudice, both twice) and Frankenstein (this is my motivation to finally read it haha), but it'll be doable for sure

This absolute genius was 3 hours late (cough, attempting to renew at 2am, cough) returning library books, but the people at the library were so sweet and got rid of the 15p charge and renewed them for me instead - first, and hopefully only time I'm late with library books fingers crossed

Books - This week's been a bit more productive writing-wise, so I only had time to read one book this week, and I finished it today (saturday, incase I take too long to write the rest of this week's entry and send it off tomorrow instead, and let's be honest, it's likely) - You, by Caroline Kepnes, and I've seen the show many, many times, and the book was just as addictive, I'm thinking of reading the rest but that might be a plan for the future since my bookshelves and kindle library are begging me to read the books i own and have yet to read rather than buying more - I did however grab a copy of P.S I Love You in a charity shop and I can't believe it, it literally looks NEW, so I'm going to look forward to reading and watching the movie at some point - I'm also halfway through Love, Theoretically and I am OBSESSED, that and Love Hypothesis were the only books I was planning on reading by the author but now I'm not so sure, they're so GOOD

Shows/Movies - My. Lady. Jane. SPEECHLESS (as of writing this I'm only on episode 5, but I'm hoping to finish it this weekend) and I can't wait to devour the book when the tie-in edition comes out (this is one I NEED in paperback, sorry bookshelves), I also watched Empire Strikes Back this week and can I just say I'm more of a Leia and Han fan than I expected to be - they're so good

Music - us. by Gracie Abrams (this is one of very few of her songs that I know but it is so good to write with, on loop, or it was for the scene I was writing, but that's just what it's like being a writer I suppose, music changes with each scene and some songs fit better than most), Chlorine by TOP - my friends introduced me to them and this is probably my favourite song of theirs, and that's it for this little segment they're the two main songs I can think of

oh and I can include a slightly major adulting achievement - I voted for the first time this week, it was a strange, strange feeling but it happened - I'm not big on politics, not at all, so I won't say too much about it but the thought of crossing a box to decide a country's future is really funny to me, I could not tell you why, but it makes me laugh

Spills From The Ink-Pot - writing, writing, and more writing

this is England, it may be July but the skies sure do know how to pour - which means more time indoors for me writing (I do love writing outside, when it's not too cold, but the rain's brought a little bit of an anti-summer chill, shocker, so this week's been more of an indoors-y one for me)

The current draft of Ruin's Reprisal took a bit of a hammering, as did my keyboard - in the last 3 days alone I've written 6,000 (ish) words, which is a lot for me recently, and it's only going to be more still throughout the rest of this weekend - people ask me why I have a keyboard cover on my laptop, this is why, I hate the thought of wearing down the keys and leaving fingerprints on my screen when I shut my laptop- and with a keyboard cover none of that happens, and my keyboard survives just a little longer (pray for the poor thing, I know I am) - at the time of almost publishing this letter I'm now sitting at 12,000 words written by the end of the weekend (whoops)

Current Word Count is sitting at 212,525, but that's with me having edited up to halfway through Part Two, it's by no means a set number given the amount of chapters I still have to go through, but it's progress (and i love progress)

I'm thinking of making a checklist in these letters to encourage myself to do more writing things in the next week, so here's next week's goals:

Come up with Part Titles - I have Chapter ones, why not for Parts too?

I want to finish Part Two by next week - that's 5 chapters away, possibly doable?

Slightly bigger goal than just next week - I want to write a short story, or a story, maybe not so short, but I want to write start to finish over the summer (maybe it'll be a novella?), it's a challenge I'm setting for myself alongside writing Ruin's Reprisal, and it starts with the little snippet I released earlier this week - writing on a clueless whim becomes an actual, surprisingly good thing, who knew?

I have plenty to show you this time around dear reader, so here's a few snippets for you to sink your teeth into:

She grabbed his hand and pressed it over her bleeding thigh. “Do it. Heal me.” Fenley frowned. “Edeva-” “There’s no time. They’ll find us. I need you to do it.” His brows furrowed, he watched her carefully. “You’ll reject it, won’t you?” He’s figured it out, or he thinks he has. Either way, it doesn’t matter. “This Exilza will survive.” Fenley’s jaw tightened. “I’ll hurt you.” His eyes swept up from her leg to her face. She caught his stare, and she held it. “Then hurt me. I know you’ll make it right.” “…But I can’t.” She watched his throat bob up and down. He’s not willing to hurt me more before he heals me. Her fingers twitched by her sides. It’s going to take drastic measures to make him do it.  She reached up and slung her arm over his shoulders, drawing him in close, Fenley grunted in shock, she used his distraction to grab one of the knives from his coat, he jerked back, his mouth hanging open as she buried the blade in her thigh, close to her wound, and buried her face in his chest to muffle a cry of pain. She breathed deeply and braced herself to rip out his knife. She pressed it into his hands.  “Until I bleed out, my life is yours. Decide.”

This was not hunting, this was not defence, this was murder through and through.  Edeva had taken a life, and now the epithet hanging over her name was true. I am a murderer. Vanquisher. Slaughterer. Monster. She sank to her knees, clutching her head, as the names began to swirl, over and over until they blurred, becoming a perpetual scream in her mind, she could think, still she could not breathe, she could not move. The ground shook, the Oksa were coming for her. She did not look, she did not lift her chin from her chest, she remained still on her knees, succumbing to her fate, her punishment for what she had done. I deserve it. I took a life of theirs and they’ll take this life of mine. The darkness crept in, it took over her, numbing the world until all she could see was the dark, shrouding her like a cloak. Her heart stuttered in her chest. This was not death, this was Shael. “Edeva.” Fenley’s whisper forced her to lift her head. He was on his knees too, one hand on her shoulder. “What are you doing?” “Accepting.” She hadn’t the strength to say more, or the strength to look him in the eye, but he stopped her, he made her, his fingers grasped the hair at the nape of her neck and pulled back sharply enough to force her to meet his gaze. “There is nothing to accept and I will not see you give up, I will not see you submit, not to them. I will not stand around watch your neck break - I won’t,” His jaw clenched. “I won’t, and you won’t either.” The hand on her shoulder pushed roughly and she fell, she fell from the ethereal cloak of Shael and back to the world, back to the fighting. Where Oksa had been there were now smoking remains, such smoke wasn’t normal, and she realised it wasn’t. It was shadow. Whatever Fenley had done she was glad she hadn’t seen it, but he had done it to help her, to save her, to help her save herself - for just a little longer.  Something glinted to her right, it was her sword, sticking out of the dirt. Fenley. He wants me to fight. He wanted her to do the impossible. “I can’t.” She closed her eyes, her fingers curling in on themselves as her hand hung limply by her side. Vitaires do not fall. We stand. We stay standing.  Her Mama’s words had never been so loud in her mind. They were true, they were everything she needed, much like Fenley’s push. I am Edeva Vitarie and I will stand. She took her first breath, then another, I. Will. Stand.

and this next snippet comes from the short story i'm writing (alas yet to be given a title): “It isn’t very often someone gets away with saying no to me.” She startled at his voice. She turned to see him squatting atop a large bin, crammed against a wall, overflowing with rubbish, none of it seemed to bother him as he prowled over its lid and crept down to her level. Her fingers stilled against her laces. “Have I?” “Not quite.” “I should warn you I’m expected somewhere.” “This won’t take long, I came only to give you this.” She flinched at an envelope hitting her lap, she hadn’t felt him move, let alone seen it.  “If I open it, will it kill me?” “That envelope contains ink and paper, nothing more.” “Nothing less, either.” She mused, slipping the envelope into her coat. “Your stationery is what most would die for.” “Really? I thought I was using the cheaper stuff.” “Rich, are we?”  His laugh almost tempted one of hers. “Not quite. Save your questions for another night, I trust we’ll have one.” He sounds more self assured than the corporate suits that rule the city, is such a thing possible? She stood, laces tied, envelope secure, and hugged herself. The chill of the night had never been so clear to her as it was now.  “If I tell you no, again, will you seek me out?” “You sought me first, I only thought to return the favour.” Is that… A touch of defence? How interesting.  “Very well, I-” “I thought I’d lost you for a minute there, everything all right?” The Assistant’s voice cut through the alley, she turned around, putting on a reassuring smile. “I needed to tie my laces that’s all.” She took a few steps toward him, only glancing back as they went to turn back onto the street. The alley was empty, he was gone.  His letter seemed to weigh more in her pocket before, she placed a hand over it to steady it, and herself. My refusal paid off, he’s more interested than ever before. The more interest, the more willing he is to tell his story. He wanted another night, she sought out plenty more - and she would have them. She had him hooked, and she knew it. 

good grief this week's one is LATE (apologies dear reader, these past few days have been busy ones) but here you go! this week's letter is all typed up, compiled and heading your way!

~ A Girl and Her Quill

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[tennessoui]

Hey Kit!! This past year when the Acolyte came out, my heart broke and I decided to step away from Star Wars. It’s fine that others liked it but personally I didn’t; actually to be frank, I REALLY didn’t like it. Star Wars and Anakin got me through a lot, so watching Disney take an actual shit on his origin and then his redemption ark by half-assing the lore, felt like a punch to the gut, and I had to step away. (This is my personal opinion, if you or others liked it that’s great! I just didn’t). However, when I saw that u published the body politics au, I decided to sit down and catch up on all your fics (btw I love the Hanahaki one!), and it got me back into the fandom. I’m glad one shitty (imo) show didn’t push me away permanently and I have you to thank for that. I’ve met so many great people thru Star Wars and made a lot friends so it had really been kind of hard to turn away from it. I just really wanted to say thank you. your writing is, as always, too beautiful and inspiring to ignore. Star Wars means so much, and I’m so thankful that your work was able to help me look past all the stuff that made me unhappy with it. I hope you have a wonderful day!!

this is very kind to send to me and a very nice morning read! i admit, i actually have not watched the acolyte, though not for any particular reason. i've definitely heard mixed reviews about the show and its take on the jedi order and the sith, which have been sorta sad to read cause i do like the jedi (though i guess i never label myself as pro-jedi cause like? they're the good guys? you're not like. pro-percy jackson or something right? pro-katniss everdeen? you just sorta read the book and you're like oh yeah these are the good guys. might find aspects of a character annoying but i'm definitely not supposed to be rooting for the Capitol or smething right)

but i've also heard from other people that as a pew-pew show, it delivers on that front! lightsaber fights are cool and everyone has a funky haircut that they pull off somehow which does feel quintessentially star wars

my general view of the disney plus star wars shows is that i'll watch the ones that strike my fancy, and if one of them doesn't then i won't. the star wars disney execs produce a lot of content (and i truly mean content, i.e. material to be consumed - not necessarily art) and a lot of it i'm probably never going to watch. it wasn't made for me, and i definitely get the lurch and disappointment you may feel if you look forward to something for ages and then it's not what you wanted in a thousand small ways or a handful of big ways. i think that's especially hard to guard against nowadays when trailers for tv shows rely more on aesthetic and punchy one-liners and brief second cameos than they do explaining the actual story of the show

but you can be a fan without loving the direction some shows go in or the choices directors make!! if that looks like only watching shows that have been peer-reviewed, or if that looks like ignoring everything but a small corner/subset of a massive fandom, or if that looks like turning from the media itself and diving further into fanart and fanfiction and interacting with people online then that's what it looks like! especially now that the world of canon star wars media isn't just 6-9 movies + 2(?) non trilogy movies, you should absolutely go about watching star wars content with a you-first mindset 100%

you know how many people were disappointed in the obi-wan kenobi series?? soooo many because he was a sad little pathetic and broken man with greasy hair. but that's exactly how i like my obi-wan kenobis, so i was thrilled every episode lol but i'm sure other people hated it and boycotted and whatever. but i found my corner of the fandom who also enjoyed that and it's been wonderful <3

so anyway thankyou so much for your very kind words i hope none of that sounded too preachy i was mostly trying to agree with you that it's really great that one (shitty) show did not keep you away from the fandom forever and that you're back!!

welcome back :)

[fallenclan]

Maplekit was trying desperately not to sneeze. The fragrant scent of tansy and garlic was overwhelming, causing his nose to twitch with every inhale. Besides the smell, there was nothing particularly frightening about the medicine den, though Goldenflare avoided it like the burrow of some bloodthirsty badger.

The only creature calling the den home was no badger, but rather the clan's medicine cat, Sunwish. She appeared deeply engrossed in her herb sorting, mumbling the names of various plants under her breath.

"Sunwish?" Maplekit chirped. The she-cat's gaze snapped abruptly to the intruding kit, seeming both startled and irritated. Maplekit knew Goldenflare would scold him later for bothering such a busy cat.

"What is it, Maplekit?"

Taking her reply as an invitation to scoot forward, Maplekit stated bluntly, "I want to know more about Morningbloom."

"What?" Sunwish hissed, quickly schooling her features a moment later. "Can't you ask your father?"

"It makes him sad."

"I see."

Sensing the uncomfortable shift of Sunwish's shoulders, Maplekit thought back to Dawnkit's earlier taunt ("I bet Morningbloom isn't even an actual cat. Sunwish is probably your real mother---that's why she can't stand to look at you!" Honeykit had promptly tackled Dawnkit, leading to a fight which in the end Toro had needed to break up).

"Well, Morningbloom was... kind. I'm sure she would have adored you." Seeing the disappointed droop of Maplekit's ears, Sunwish hurriedly continued, "She was the cleverest cat I've ever known. She had this particular expression she'd make whenever she knew she was correct about something. She liked to tease cats, but never went too far. She didn't tolerate nonsense but knew how to have fun. She-" Sunwish sighed. "She loved your father very much."

"Thank you." It was the polite response, but Maplekit was still left craving more. He hated the haunted look Goldenflare adopted whenever someone dared mention Morningbloom's name. Even Sunwish, a usually sullen cat, appeared gloomier than usual when discussing the deceased she-cat.

"You're welcome." Sunwish turned back to her herbs. "If you see Goldenflare, tell him I want to speak to him about-" She paused. "Tell him I want to speak to him." It was a clear dismissal.

"Okay." Sighing, Maplekit bounded out of Sunwish's den, immediately crashing into Applekit. Honeykit and Dawnkit stood a few paces away, with Silverkit nowhere to be seen. Evidently the trio had been eavesdropping.

"See?" Honeykit hissed. "Sunwish isn't my mom!"

"Okay, okay, whatever." Dawnkit huffed. "I only said that because you kept saying that Toro can't be a 'real' warrior due to her name."

"Well, the warrior code says-"

"The code doesn't say anything about needing a warrior name to be a warrior, actually," Maplekit corrected. The betrayed look Honeykit shot him was enough to brighten Maplekit's somber mood.

For now, at least.

...

"One day, we're going to lead this clan," Honeypaw declared with an alarming amount of confidence.

"Oh, yeah?" Maplepaw didn't bother to look at Honeypaw, continuing to cloud-watch whilst lying on his back.

"When Dad's leader, he'll probably make you deputy right away, and then when you're leader you'll make me deputy," Honeypaw continued. "Maplestar and Honeyheart!"

"Honeyheart?"

"Because of my big heart, of course," Honeypaw grinned cheekily, causing Maplepaw to chuckle. "You have to promise, though."

"Promise?"

"That when you're leader you'll make me your first deputy."

"That's if I ever become leader."

"Maplepaw, everyone knows you'll be leader someday."

"Everyone being you, Applepaw, and Silverpaw?"

"Dawnpaw thinks so too, even if he won't admit it."

Maplepaw sighed. "I don't know if I even want to be leader. It's a lot of responsibility. Plus, it would be hard without Dad."

"Still."

"Okay," Maplepaw relented.

"I said you had to promise!"

"I promise."

"Then it's settled."

...

"When do you think Applepaw and Honeypaw will be warriors?" Dawnshine murmured, sending Maplethorn a neutral glance.

"Another moon, probably." Maplethorn tilted his head. "It's weird being a warrior without them."

"Yeah, well, it means we'll get at least a night of peace before having those two baffoons stomping around the warriors' den."

"They aren't so bad." Maplethorn rose a brow as he continued, "You and Honeypaw have gotten a lot closer."

"I guess."

"So have Silverpaw and Applepaw."

"Yeah. As long as Applepaw doesn't do anything stupid to hurt my sister, I think they'll be good for each other. Their personalities mesh well."

"What about you and Honeypaw?"

"I can't stand him half the time. The other half I can't stand being away from him. Do you know how that feels?"

"Not really," Maplethorn admitted. "But I hear the way my brother talks about you. He might be a bit bull-headed, but he really cares."

"I know," Dawnshine hummed. "So there isn't anyone you're interested in?"

"There aren't many options," Maplethorn joked, a half hearted deflection. He'd never really felt that way towards anyone before. He doubted he ever would. The thought didn't bother him as much as it might bother some cats.

"Eh, true enough." Dawnshine shrugged. "I want to make sure it's not just proximity drawing me to Honeypaw before I ask him to be my mate."

"You're going to ask him to be your mate?" Maplethorn couldn't help the grin that found its way onto his muzzle.

"Forget I said that. Do not tell him or he'll be insufferable for moons."

"I won't. Promise."

"Good. I'm trusting you."

Those last words meant more to Maplethorn than he'd ever know how to admit.

...

"You're pregnant?" Maplethorn stared, unable to comprehend what he was hearing.

"I just got done telling Silverbelly. She seemed really overwhelmed, but happy too. Maplethorn, I'm so excited," Applebranch purred, tears prickling in her eyes.

"I just-" Maplethorn swallowed. "I'm going to be an uncle."

"Yeah."

"Does Dad know?"

"Not yet." Applebranch let out a nervous laugh. "You don't think he'll be mad, right?"

"Mad? No. I think he'll be. . . concerned." Once he and his siblings were old enough, Goldenflare had revealed the true circumstances of Morningbloom's death. Maplethorn couldn't imagine how Goldenflare might feel knowing that his daughter could suffer the same fate.

"Well, there's nothing that can be done about it now," Applebranch stated firmly. "I hope I'll be a good mother."

"You will be." Maplethorn pressed his cheek against Applebranch's own. "Your kits will grow up knowing that they're loved fully and unconditionally. You won't be alone, either. You'll have me, and Honeygleam, and Dad, and Toro, and Silverbelly, of course."

"I know, I know." Applebranch wiped a paw across her face, trying to get rid of any lingering tears. "I'm going to go tell Dad and Honeygleam. Will you come with?"

"Of course! I’ll always be here for you, whatever you need."

"Thanks, Maple."

...

"Dad, please wake up!" Maplethorn wailed, desperately shaking the limp tom. His whole life, Maplethorn had been told that leaders had nine lives, and up until this point he'd believed it, but seeing Goldenstar so motionless, so lifeless, left him feeling paralyzed with terror.

"He's going to wake up, Maplethorn," Silverbelly's soft mew did nothing to soothe Maplethorn's nerves.

"But what if he doesn't? What if the injuries are too severe? Like-like with Scorchstar?"

Silverbelly's expression darkened. "That won't happen, Maplethorn. Trust me."

So Maplethorn waited, and after what felt like an agonizing eternity, Goldenstar jerked back to life, gasping as if he'd been held underwater. "Maplethorn?" the tom wheezed.

"Dad! I'm here." Maplethorn could feel his paws trembling. "We were attacked by a dog. You--you died, Dad. I saw you die."

"StarClan revived me," Goldenstar rumbled.

"I thought I'd lost you," Maplethorn whispered, stricken.

"I'm fine, really," Goldenstar grunted. "Just give me a moment." Noticing how truly petrified Maplethorn looked, Goldenstar's features softened. "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, okay? I'm sticking around till you get tired of me."

"That will never happen."

"I'm sure it won't," Goldenstar chuckled. As Maplethorn turned to say something to Silverbelly it hit him that neither of them had been sure if Goldenstar was really coming back. The expression he found on Silverbelly's face was not confidence.

It was relief.

…

"At least it healed properly."

"Do you doubt my mother's healing capabilities?"

"Of course not." Maplethorn let out a fond albeit exhasperated chuckle. "I was just worried, that's all."

"Why?"

"I care about you." At Pinefrost's blank expression, Maplethorn continued, "You're my nephew."

"Oh. Okay."

"Now that you aren't cooped up in the medicine den, why don't we go hunting? I know a great spot down by the river split."

"I'm old enough to know our clan's territory, Maplethorn." Pinefrost frowned slightly. After a few moments, he mrrowed, "But I wouldn't mind spending some time with you."

"All right, perfect. I was starting to worry that you might not actually like me," Maplethorn teased.

"Why would you think that?" Pinefrost titled his head, appearing utterly baffled.

Maplethorn only laughed again.

…

"Careful! You nearly stepped on Maplethorn's tail," Molesong's waspish tone made Hawkkit flinch backward, eyes rounding with dismay.

"Oh no! I'm sorry, Maplethorn."

"It's okay." Maplethorn chuckled. With a drawn out sigh, Molesong scooped up Hawkkit, giving her daughter's head a few reassuring licks.

"I'm not mad at you, sweetie," Molesong hummed. "I just wish you'd be more careful."

"I will, Mama," Hawkkit promised. Eaglekit watched the entire scene with a pensive look.

"Is everything all right, Eaglekit?" Maplethorn mewed.

"Yeah. I was just wondering. . ."

"You were wondering?" Maplethorn prompted.

"Are you my dad?"

"Eaglekit!" Molesong hissed, sheer mortification passing through her gaze. "Maplethorn, I'm so sorry. She isn't old enough to understand how rude of a question-"

"No, no, it's fine," Maplethorn replied swiftly, attempting to save Molesong any further embarassment. Eaglekit's question vaguely reminded him of a conversation he'd had with Sunwish many years ago, but he couldn't quite remember how it went anymore.

"Maplethorn is far too old to be your father," Molesong mewed sternly. Maplethorn opted not to take offense. "He's my uncle."

"What's an uncle?" Hawkkit squeaked.

"A parent's brother. You have uncles, too: Pinefrost and Flyspots. Aunts are a parent's sister."

"Oh! Like Mudsplash and Crowflame," Hawkkit exclaimed.

"Yes, like Mudsplash and Crowflame," Molesong nodded.

"Then who's our father?" Eaglekit pressed.

Molesong sighed, the warning signs of irritation glinting in her gaze. Still, she made an honorable effort to hide her frustration from her daughters. Maplethorn sent her a sympathetic glance. "Rabbitpounce."

"Who's that?" Eaglekit squinted.

"The white-and-ginger tom who visits us in the nursery sometimes. StarClan knows where he is right now," Molesong scoffed. Hawkkit seemed satisfied with this answer, but Eaglekit appeared to have more questions. Molesong silenced her with a look.

Tactfully changing the topic, Maplethorn said, "Why don't I go get Honeygleam to tell you two a story? We can even round up the other kits, too."

"Yes! I love stories," Hawkkit purred, her voice never breaching a loud whisper even in her excitement.

Molesong mouthed a quick "thank you" before rushing off to find Curly and Flyspots so they could wrangle all the kits together.

"Why don't you two help me find Honeygleam?"

"Okay!" Eaglekit and Hawkkit chirped in unison, tumbling after Maplethorn as he began to amble across camp. 

…

"I always knew you'd become deputy one day!" Honeygleam purred, tail curling above his back. Dawnshine and Robinblaze stood beside him while Applebranch wove around Maplethorn, purring contentedly.

"Toro made the right choice," a gravelly voice added. Crowflame had slunk through the crowd, her gaze impassive. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Maplethorn shot Crowflame a warm smile. "I'm glad to have your support."

Crowflame grunted something inaudible in reply.

"Don't mind her," Applebranch chuckled. "She's always been grumpy."

It appeared Maplethorn was the only cat that noticed how Crowflame's ears pinned at being referred to as her. Maplethorn wasn't given time to dwell on it, as moments later he was practically tackled by Flyspots and Mudsplash, both cats whooping and cheering. "Maplethorn! Maplethorn!" Mudsplash chanted, grinning goofily, her one trademark fang poking out.

"Kits, careful now. You'll crush him," Silverbelly warned, padding up alongside Toro.

"We aren't kits anymore, Mom," Flyspots rolled his eyes, but his demeanor remained fond.

"Still," Silverbelly insisted.

"Yeah, yeah." Flyspots stuck out his tongue, causing Silverbelly to let out a clearly fake affronted gasp. Applebranch chortled in amusement.

"Are you lot giving Maplethorn a hard time?" Goldenstar's steady voice caused Maplethorn's heart to flood with warmth.

"I'm all right, Dad," he purred.

"Good. I wouldn't want the new deputy to be out-of-sorts."

"Yeah, we wouldn't want that," Flyspots teased.

"You can count on me. As soon as this swarm of cats dissipates, I'll be calling dusk patrols."

"What? No way!" Flyspots let out a dramatic pout, which in turn caused Mudsplash to playfully shove him, muttering, "Don't be a lazy-bones."

"Duty calls," Maplethorn replied solemnly. The only thing betraying his amusement were his twitching whiskers. "Even in times of celebration, patrols must be done."

"I guess. . ." Flyspots sulked.

"Come on, it'll be fun! Remember that time we found a raccoon?" Mudsplash grinned.

"That was not fun, and it was a skunk, not a raccoon."

"Wormshade wouldn't go near you for days! It was so funny."

"You wouldn't be laughing if you were the one that got sprayed!"

As the two cats continued their light-hearted bickering, Goldenstar shifted until he stood shoulder-to-shoudler with Maplethorn. The proud smile on his face was all Maplethorn needed to know that this was the right path for him.

...

"Crowflame identifies as a tom." Applebranch's words came as no surprise to Maplethorn.

"All right. I'll make sure to refer to him as such from now on."

"He'll probably tell you himself sooner or later. He looks up to you a lot, you know."

"He does?"

"Of course. He's always wanted to be just like you some day."

"I guess I never considered that cats might look up to me and not Dad. He's the one they should admire."

"They do admire him, but they admire you too, Maple. We all do."

Unable to properly express how much Applebranch's words had touched him, Maplethorn instead leaned forward to nuzzle his sister, a purr growing in his chest. “Thank you.”

…

Maplethorn had only just got done wailing. Everything had happened so fast. One moment, he had been in his nest resting and the next he had been awoken by furious shrieks and desperate cries.

So many cats had died. Curly. Rabbitpounce. Toro. Dawnshine.

Honeygleam.

Even thinking his brother's name caused Maplethorn's heart to ache. He couldn't let himself dwell on his own agony. Instead, he had crept into the medicine den, tucking himself into the nest beside Flyspots. The majority of the other nests had been deserted now that the medicine cats had finished attending to everyone's wounds. Everyone that survived, that is.

Flyspots was despondent. "I couldn't even help fight," the tom mumbled vacantly. Maplethorn sighed. He had no words of comfort to offer. Instead he began to groom Flyspots's matted fur, careful to avoid the herbal wrap which bound his back.

"I can't believe it. . ." Flyspots whispered.

"Neither can I."

...

The sun had begun to set by the time Maplethorn and his patrol had found them. Spiderclaw lay motionless, his gaze devoid of life. Maplethorn had no idea what he was going to tell Flyspots.

Maplethorn had sent the rest of his patrol (Moonstep and Grassroot) back to camp to fetch Silverbelly and Stormsight. Robinblaze was breathing, barely, but was too battered to be transported back to camp.

So Maplethorn waited by her side. "It's going to be okay, Robinblaze." The ginger tabby's throat was marred by a vicious bite-mark. Grassroot had pressed moss against the wound in an attempt to stem the bleeding.

" . . . yeah," Robinblaze wheezed.

"It will be okay," Maplethorn repeated softly. He couldn't take anymore grief. Not after Dawnshine and Honeygleam. Not after Molesong. "I promise."

"I'll say hi to my dads for you." Robinblaze's voice was barely more than a whisper, her chest beginning to rise and fall at a far slower pace.

"There's no sense talking like that." Maplethorn squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments. "Why don't I tell you a funny story about when your fathers and I were apprentices?"

" . . . okay . . . "

By the time Moonstep and Grassroot had returned with Silverbelly and Stormsight, they were met with the sight of Maplethorn wrapped around Robinblaze as if she were a newborn kit. The tom's soft sobs hit the patrol moments before the scent of decay.

...

"He still hasn't come back." Applebranch's voice had begun to rise.

"He likes his walks," Celia murmured. "He's probably just taking a little extra time for himself."

"He never takes this long!" Applebranch hissed, tail puffed up.

Maplethorn sat vacantly, watching the two as if from a far distance. He barely even registered when Mudsplash sat down beside him. "We don't know something bad happened," she said.

"No. I have a feeling. He's. . ." Gone. The word could not be spoken aloud.

"Are you ready?" Mudsplash pressed, her demeanor melancholy in a way so unusual for her that Maplethorn had to pause to even begin to process it.

"Not really." There was no point in lying.

"We'll all be here to support you. You can always talk to me, okay?"

"Thank you." Maplethorn blinked gratefully at Mudsplash before slowly shifting to his paws. "Applebranch," he called, interupting her continuing argument with Celia. "Let's go check the western cliffs near his usual walking trail. I'll assign another patrol to check in the opposite direction."

Applebranch let out a huff but didn't argue, tail flicking wildly. "I could come with you," Mudsplash offered.

"No, it's all right." Maplethorn exhaled. With a solemn set to his shoulders, Maplethorn bounded towards the center of camp, preparing to call his clanmates together and inform them of the separate search parties.

He could only hope all of this would prove unnecessary, and that Goldenstar would grumble and gripe when he learned such a fuss had been made over him.

Maplethorn really, really hoped.

But he knew.

...

"I sometimes wonder how I will be remembered in the years following my death. Will cats view me as just a shadow successor to my father? What has FallenClan accomplished under my leadership besides a war with a neighboring clan?"

"FallenClan has remained prosperous under your leadership. ShallowClan's actions don't reflect upon you," Silverbelly replied.

"Yes, but what if ShallowClan chose to attack now because they sensed weakness? Would they have even dared if Goldenstar was stlil leader?"

"Truthfully, I think the war had more to do with ShallowClan's change in leadership than FallenClan's." Silverbelly's tail flicked. "You remember Lichenstripe, don't you? He had a lot of insightful things to say about the state of things in ShallowClan."

Maplestar batted at a stray pebble. "If not a half-hearted war, then what is my legacy?"

"Your legacy is your warmth. The love and affection you show to your kin, the comradery you inspire in your clanmates."

"You really think so?"

"I know so, Maplestar."

...

Before him stood endless, tumbling fields of stars, an eternal sway of starry grass coupled with the faint smell of lilacs. He could see Honeygleam and Robinblaze racing across the starry expanse, leaving long indents across the meadow as they ran.

The meadow seemed to heal itself, the grass springing back up almost as soon as it was crushed.

Beneath a spruce tree, Goldenstar sat in deep discussion with Sunwish while Morningbloom and Celia lounged together a few foxlengths away.

Molesong was here, too, having decided to show off her hunting skills to a gaggle of wide-eyed kits.

Dawnshine stood a few paces away from Maplestar, ears pricked in an attentive manner, almost as if he were waiting for someone.

"What's on your mind?" Maplestar rumbled.

"You, actually," Dawnshine replied. "I was wondering---do you ever regret not having kits of your own?"

Maplestar hummed thoughtfully. "No, not really. I have a family, one that's quite large at that. I've never been interested in having a mate or kits of my own."

Dawnshine nodded. "I thought so."

"Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering, now that it's too late to, well," Dawnshine smiled. "Stormsight was wondering if you'd like to go exploring with us later, by the way."

"There certainly is plenty to explore," Maplestar said. "Why don't we invite Honeygleam and Robinblaze too?"

"No, they're already having too much fun. We should let them be." Dawnshine's gaze had grown soft.

"All right." Maplestar grinned. "You, me, and Stormsight it is then."

"One thing I do appreciate about being dead is that I can always make time to hangout with my family," Dawnshine purred.

Family. Dawnshine and Silverbelly were both a part of Maplestar's family as well. Their mother and younger siblings were like extended family. Even Celia was a sort of familial figure, with Sunwish acting as a reserved, somewhat temperamental aunt.

So much family, and all here together. Even those who were absent were guaranteed to one day join them in eternity.

A soft purr grew in Maplestar's throat. "I like that, too. I like it a lot."

-🐉 (have a maplefic as a treat, since i will be visiting relatives in no-wifi-land for about five days starting tomorrow. the next creatures on my "write a fic about" list are cherrystar and poppyfeather. as always, beetle and anyone else, you are all welcome to request characters you'd like to see. hope you like this fic! it's a long one isn't it....)

AUGH.... HEART IN HANDS... Dragon this is fucking fantastic. you're so good at staying in character with cats that have barely spoken at all, its incredible. i love this so much,,, my boy,,,

[pepperstrawberry]

Pepper Rant

I'm sorry. I hate being negative. I... I'm having a hard time right now. Its been building all week. (I tried to figure out how to put a 'cut/readmore', but it seems a lot has changed with formatting since I last created a full post of my own that required more then a few quick images and text)

I know I don't post much on here, or at least no where near my old consistancy... but I am pretty happy I still see some familiar names float across my dash.

Though, right now, it feels like... like I'm lost. Trying to figure out someone to commiserate with, but I kinda don't want to burden folks and I can't remember which of the discords I'm on have spots for political rambles.

Most of my biggest fears are probably going to be very obvious.

November 8 2016, I remember being in a discord chat at the time. All the mods were off for one reason or another. Some folks were freaking out. Some weren't. This was an LGBT focused discord, so the fact that some folks were thinking things would be fine was a bit concerning. I had to use my minis to drown folks out, reminding folks that the discord in question had a specific space for that sort of topic and the main channel we were in need to be a space for just breathing. It was... a rough night for everyone I think.

Over the course of the next year plus, I would often say things like 'this feels like the sort of thing you see in history books around mid 20s - early 30s of Gernany. I wasn't sure how much I was speaking in hyperbole and how much was 1000% serious, but I do know I was leaning toward the later.

Now... here we are, on the cusp of another election, the same bastard moving for power. And I honestly feel more then ever I was at least close to the reality. It wasn't 1 to 1, mind. but it was... familiar enough.

With already some extremely disturbing actions by the SCOTUS and the like mouths before the vote is upon us gives me some chilling fears.

The unparalleled power the position of President now has is... not something to take lightly. And this time, its not a bumbling idiot that is going to be lost at how the job even works.

mind you, he is still a fool. He is still the same self centered piece of garbage. But this time, he has a team behind him already setting a lot of very very disturbing things in motion.

The 'Immunity' decision has basically cemented a path to getting everything they want. Not a little, but a lot.

I don't have the mental strength or energy. All I can feel is a tingling fear in my nerves that is slowly building. A reality I want to wake up from.

And the worst of it is: even if the Biden wins, that is *at best* a holding pattern. That guy isn't much better. Maybe he turned around several things Trump did, but it hasn't really felt like we have moved forward to anything better.

Unless something is *somehow* done about the Immunity decision, among others, then we are just going to be facing this nightmare again in the next election.

Honestly, I am not liking how next year is looking in either case. I would move out of country, but I don't even know which place would be best to run to, nor am I in nearly as 'stable' financially as I was even just a year ago.

I'm sorry, I used to keep my politic stuff on a separate tumblr... but honestly, fuck that. Things are just too fucked. I don't know how to keep my thoughts separate anymore.

I know for many across the world, what I fear is already their reality. It makes this whole mess feel even worse. I know there is good in this world. Good people and good places... but I feel like everyone I know is so spread out. Even my closest friends (aside from a couple of family members and my girlfriend) are miles away at the least and states or even countries away at most. So even if I were to find a place to run to, its going to be... difficult.

No this isn't a plea for cash or anything. At least not yet. Just right now, I need to get it out of my system on some level. Even if it ends up as 'not as bad as I fear', the fact is, it is still going to be horrible for many of us. I thought that at least the Senate and SCOTUS would at least provide a *little* barrier to the plans of that bastard and his allies. But that barrier no longer exists. I don't know what is going to stand against him doing most of not all they are planning.

Tonight, as I right this, there are still fireworks popping off. A night that was supposed to celebrate independence from a King...

I fear next year, they will be celebrating a new king... and they may not even be simulated.

[swamp-spirit]

Swamp's Small-Talk Tips!

My power is that, despite being incredibly socially awkward in 99% of situations, I love small-talk. I'll get to know the person next to me in line! I'll talk about the weather! I'll learn what family members/pets/hobbies co-workers like to talk about!

The core of small talk is just saying "I am interested in your life and care about your experiences".

Small talk is fun because it has very clear rules and also you can win at it (make somebody happy). Here's my small talk tips-

-If it's a 'getting to know you' conversation, start with the shared situation. If you meet somebody traveling, you could ask where they're going. That opens up follow up questions. Going on vacation? What are they looking forward to?

-If they ask a question, and the question could also apply to them, it's polite to ask them the question back. ("Oh, I'm headed to Nevada. What about you?") Most people are not actually just trying to quiz you, and feeling like it can feel like doing all the work to keep the conversation going. Think of it like tennis: Receive the question, give a meaningful answer, return the conversation to them.

-You can give negative answers, but don't dwell in the negative. When somebody says "how are you today" they are trying to communicate they care enough to check in. You aren't expected to say "great, how are you!", but being negative is seen as a bid for sympathy and for the conversation to turn towards comfort. Some days, this may be what you need, but sympathy takes a lot of energy, even for the neurotypical. If somebody always focuses on the negative, it makes the conversation always focus on comforting them instead of something more positive and mutual. As a rule of thumb IMO, if you're in a normal bad mood, don't lie, but keep it light and shift focus. "Ah, I'm pretty sleepy. How are you?" (translation, I slept for hours and am running on a single protein bar and spite, but do not need to shift the conversation towards me). So, unless you really are asking for some attention and comfort, don't fake happy but downplay ("could be better", "still alive", "hoping to feel better after some coffee") and distract ("how about you?") This can also be good for reframing your own mood and focusing on the ways your day could improve or is going well.

-The reason weather comes up so much is because it's a shared experience with people in your area. We all drove to work in the snow today! Let us exchange Driving to Work in the Snow experiences! But there are many shared experiences that aren't the weather (and aren't touchy like major news stories). This is why things like traffic, location based sensory experiences (like loud construction), or shared inconvenience are common.

-Show interest in what the other person shares. Most stories have an intended reaction. "What happened was impressive, I want this affirmed." "That's awesome. What did she say?" "What happened was difficult, I want this affirmed" "Ah, that sucks so much. I hate it when that happens." Remember this is small talk. Most people are not looking for solutions right now. They probably don't know you well, and you don't know their situation well.

-Ask about previous conversations. Small talk is about showing you care, and remembering is one of the best ways. "How'd (your dog's name) handle the fireworks", "Did you end up seeing (your cousin's) play", "I know you love (media), did you see the (new thing)?". Remembering what's going on in their lives matters to people.

Some additional go-to topics: -Ask about plans for upcoming breaks/weekends. Often, the answer will be that they aren't doing anything or are doing something unpleasant, but you can affirm that taking a relaxing weekend is great or that having to spend the weekend doing taxes is rough -Follow their interests. Crafts, fashion, ren-faire, whatever. Find the things that make them light up. -Point out physical objects in their space. Cool earrings, a cute desk magnet, a photo of a pet, and compliment them.

Topics to avoid -Remember that not everybody has a good family relationship, and questions that assume that can be landmines -Lots of people are upset about being single, so don't ask if people are in a relationship -In general, avoid hot buttons like religion/politics until you know them well

Also remember a lot of other people aren't great at small-talk. Every office will have somebody who responds to every "how are you today" with a fifteen minute monologue of minor problems or never turns questions back to you.

You can deal with them through most of the things on this list (showing sympathy for their minor complaints, trying to show interest in what they're saying), or you can choose to disengage.

Good luck, and may you find the topic to make a stranger's day!

[unironicallytes]

It's WIP Wtuesday!

Aka, I don't remember what day it is but want to share a WIP. I just got home from a trip where I ended up writing a lot during plane rides, so here you go! I've included Zath's hover-text asides as smaller, bracketed text at the bottom. For context, Zath and Lu have just arrived at the Cheydinhal Sanctuary, where they've run into Mathieu and Antoinetta.

Awkwardness ensues for ... multiple layers of reasons.

Speaker wordlessly passed me his travel bag while he addressed the pair, clasping his hands together and offering a gracious smile. I exchanged a quiet nod with Mathieu, who flicked his gaze from Lucien for only a second to acknowledge it. Then, I dipped into our room to set our things down. I caught snippets of the conversation as it continued behind me. “I did not expect to be home so early,” Speaker replied. “But when I arrived, I received word from Sanctifier Ocheeva about your progress and was able to make it in time.” Of course, that wasn't actually our reason for visiting, but you have to admit, it was pretty convenient. “You seem to be adjusting well. You look much happier than when we last spoke, and I'm quite pleased to see this. Do tell me how you've been.” Perhaps he expected a few sentences at most, maybe ‘I’m doing wonderfully, Speaker, I love being cooped up here reading in the chapel, thank you!’ or something along those lines. I don't think he expected for Antoinetta to deliver him a full, *autobiographical account of the past month. How did she even have so much to say? An Initiate’s life in the Sanctuary was the exact opposite of exciting. You were not permitted to leave before being baptized - in fact, if you tried to leave or even object too strongly, you'd be sent **‘home’. So, a Sanctifier sat your ass down and taught you our scripture until you could repeat it forwards, backwards, and sideways. That was it! You couldn’t even train with weapons yet! It was over a decade ago for me, but coming from a life bounding around the mountains of Valenwood, I found the process excruciating. The same apparently could not be said for our newest recruit. I hid my smirk as I returned to Speaker’s side. Antoinetta was still going. A glance at Mathieu told me he too was suppressing joy at witnessing our leader’s discomfort. The corners of Speaker's lips had remained politely upturned, but his smile’s genuinity had begun to erode with his patience, of which he had very little to begin with. “ … and I’d never known vampires were so kind! Sanctifier Vicente has been such a terrific mentor. Did you know he's been to Vvardenfell? What am I saying, of course you probably know, haha! I've only heard stories of Morrowind, but I've always wanted to see it in person. Brother Movis says it's not the best place to work though, that’s a shame!” The way she, a fresh-faced recruit, chatted so casually with what was essentially a high priest of our order was admirable in an absurd way. She was remarkably illiterate when it came to reading a room.

[*What? Fine, I know what you're probably thinking, but it's acceptable when I do it, because my commentary is so much more interesting.]

[**The permanent one. With Father. Please, we're not just going to let you go back to your last place of residence if you decide "actually this isn't for me, I'd like to quit now." Once a Speaker gives you that password, you're past the point of no return.]