#it rotates between a few fandoms but it is. there

[acrylic-anxiety]

things I thought were canon in mha but are probably just things the fandom made up that are so deeply ingrained in fanmedia, coming from someone who only joined the fandom a few months ago (correct me if im wrong)

(also not caught up on s7)

- literally any ships (rip, i know, but guys, no student relationships are canon as of rn)

- eijirou and mina went to middle school together

- denki probably has (absence) seizures due to overusing his quirk/bc storms

- red shoe theory (the quirkless have an extra toe joint and bc of that they need different shoes. unfortunately there's only one type, so doesn't matter if you're 5 or 80, you're stuck wearing bright red sneakers ://)

- erasermic. just the entirety of them being together. also includes erasermic fam. still rioting from when i found out erasermic is not canon >:((

- denki has adhd + dyslexia + dyscalculia (and probably a seizure disorder)

- hitoshi is in the foster system (and was probablg ab*sed bc of his quirk. includes mentions of muzzles and quirk suppressants)

- present mic was born with his quirk, deafening everyone in the room when he was born (includes mentions of muzzles)

- the bakugous (mitsuki and masaru) are either the best parents in the world (super attentive and caring) or suck and are probably ab*sive (quirk suppressants on katsuki any time he comes home, neglectful masaru, aggressive mitsuki)

- izuku is autistic (while not canon, i wouldnt be surprised, this is coming from someone with auDHD)

- denki's parents are both pro heroes (theres two pro's with electricity quirks. maybe?? maybe not?? we'll never know)

- endeavor is homophobic (i mean... im not saying he's not-)

- present mic was adopted by two moms

- eijirou has two moms (this one tho, so cute oml im screaming)

- the bakugous run a fashion empire (katsuki modeled for them before UA

- rooftop trio's full friend group included nemuri (a year ahead of them) and tensei (iida's brother)

- iida is autistic (ngl, if this aint the case im rioting)

- tsu never had a childhood, too busy parenting her siblings while her parents were at work or traveling

- back to the bakugous, they were too busy traveling to do photoshoots (mitsuki was the model and masaru designed clothes) to watch over katsuki, so he taught himself how to do everything (chores, keeping tbe house, cooking, etc)

- eijirou has depression/was su*c*dal in middleschool, the only thing keeping him from toppling was mina

- some mutation quirks are there at birth, others come in later. ex: toru (hagakure) was not born invisible, she turned invisible when out shopping with her mom (just imagine thinking "oh shit i just lost my kid at the store" and feeling something grab your leg with the voice of your kid but nothjngs there. wild, absolutely wild) just imagine this shit with the rest of our resideng mutation kids (whom i adore) koji, fumikage, mina, mezo, mashirao (would you consider hanta, kyoka, rikido, and mineta mutation quirk kids? bc i do)

- some kids come from all over the world (i like the idea of it, just how do they all know japanese then??) one i can remember rn were like denki is a 2nd gen japanese american, yuga we know is from france, hanta is latino (i adore this)

- mineta is great!! or mineta is a r*p*st (now, hes gotten better, i'll give you that, but hes still not great and i choose to hate him so im moving on-)

- the sports festival ceremony triggered a flashback for katsuki, making him feel like he was back with the sludge villian again

- izuku and katsuki co-wrote all might fanfiction and individually at one point had all might stan pages.

- fumikage, hitoshi, and kyoka rotate between the bakusquad and dekusquad

- the emosquad consists of fumikage, hitoshi, kyoka, mezo, katsuki, and shouto

- ochako has dad sneezes (loud asf and probably back to back) and katsuki has kitten sneezes (cute and singular) (no i will not explain further)

- while katsuki is loud and "angry" all of the time, you only really got to worry when he becomes deadly silent

- if you want tea on anyone, go to either mezo or kyoka. they know all

- shouto had many firsts after the dorms were implemented: first time trying ice cream, watching a movie, listening to music, trying certain foods, etc. bc endeavor either hated it, or didnt allow him access to it bc he thought it was a waste of time

- momo probably has an eating disorder, regardless of her quirk, due to her parents pressure as a high society family

- quirk related symptoms/damage. ex: katsuki's explosions causing low blood pressure and hearing loss. present mics causing hearing loss and chronic sore throats (maybe even repeat tonsilitis??). hitoshi getting migraines, insomnia, and nose bleeds from excessive quirk use.

- aizawa transfered to the hero course after winning the sports festival his first year at UA (i think it makes sense, what with him training hitoshi later)

(this is what i could think of rn, theres probably more, add on if you think of any)

[batneko]

it occurred to me that bowuigi would make for really good sentinel-and-guide AUs

(for those who don't know, The Sentinel was a 90's show about a guy with heightened senses and protective instincts, which make him a natural defender of humanity but can also be overwhelming. His nerdy partner who provided most of the exposition was eventually revealed to be a "guide" who has the power to soothe and support him. It had an extremely dedicated fandom and robust shipping community, which led to Sentinel AUs being super popular until A/B/O AUs eventually eclipsed them.

The basics are: Character A has super-senses and tends to be protective and territorial, but they have panic attacks/migraines/whatever because of their powers. Character B is a calming presence and often feels compelled to help Character A despite any personal differences they might have. It's important to note that the connection between sentinels and guides is not inherently sexual, though there's a lot of touching involved so if there's any attraction at all between the characters it can get awkward. Usually in the AU sentinel and guide powers are Known Abilities with support systems and sometimes even a matchmaking service in place, despite it being rare and unknown in the show.)

So for the obvious version we've got Sentinel Bowser and Guide Luigi. Bowser is an extremely powerful sentinel which means very few people can challenge him, but his instincts have driven him to conquer more and more territory over the years and he's starting to feel stretched thin. He's had guide partners before but his personality problems drive them away before too long, so he keeps a few in rotation and tries not to get attached.

He "fell in love" with Peach because her guide abilities are so strong he feels comfortable around her without either of them even trying. And since he only tends to see Luigi when Peach is also there (either kidnapped or at a group event) he doesn't notice that Luigi is a guide at all for a long time.

Until one day he has an attack in public, and since he's likely to lash out in that condition everyone keeps their distance - except Luigi. Who rushes to his side and holds his hand and rubs his brow until Bowser is able to come back to himself.

Bowser is stunned that someone he thought of as an enemy would help him so easily, as if it's the obvious thing to do. But he's also embarrassed that Mario's brother of all people had to take care of him in such a vulnerable position. He gets it into his head that the only way to save face here is if he acts like it's not embarrassing at all and that now he wants Luigi to be his full time guide partner.

This is definitely going to go great!

And then the reverse, Sentinel Luigi and Guide Bowser. Mario and Luigi are both sentinels, but they're so used to relying on and covering for each other that neither of them has ever needed a guide... Or at least they've convinced themselves they don't need one, until they're both falling at Princess Peach's feet as all the tension they've built up over the years drains away all at once.

Pretty soon it becomes clear that Peach and Mario have a connection that Peach and Luigi don't, and Luigi makes excuses to leave the two of them alone as often as he can. Which leaves him both without a guide and without his partner, putting up with all the stress and sensory stimulation on his own. He handled it before, right? He can handle it now.

Then he (literally) runs into Bowser and, just like with Peach, collapses to his knees at the sudden rush of relief. Bowser is like "not that I don't enjoy this kind of thing, but what the hell?" before he senses Luigi's distress and realizes he's a sentinel. It makes sense given how strong the brothers are, but he'd never really thought about how that kind of thing works for humans.

And, though he tells himself he shouldn't care if Luigi is struggling or not, he's not entirely heartless. Bowser scoops Luigi off the floor and lets him spend the rest of the day with him, eventually saying he's doing it because it'll be funny to have Luigi owe him a favor.

Luigi says okay. Bowser is baffled by how quickly he agreed. Either he was really really suffering, or he's so nice of a guy that he doesn't even fathom how easily Bowser can take advantage of him.

Well, it's not like it costs Bowser anything to keep him around. And it does actually feel good to be a guide instead of a king for once. Bowser decides to keep racking up "favors" until he thinks of the best way to use them, probably against Mario, or maybe to get into the Mushroom Kingdom.

Sure, once he gets that payoff Luigi will probably never forgive him and never want to see him again, but it'll be worth it... right?

[pinkyjulien]

It's been rotating in my head all morning and since I have to wait a few hours to get my day started, might as well throw my two cents in a proper post

We really should talk about Kerry Eurodyne

Now before you run off, I think it's important to point something out; As a fandom veteran who been here since early 2021, I think others will agree when I say that the discourse surrounding Kerry has always been a hot topic that comes back around every few weeks- but why does it keep coming back?

I'm well placed to know that ignoring a problem and not talking about it publicly doesn't solve anything; everyone is quick to throw assumption and accusations, to make "callout" post, to blow things out of proportions, to take someones's squick as personal attack, and the mob mentality does the rest; everyone follow whoever is going to be the loudest about an ongoing "fandom drama"

This isn't an attempt to show anyone that they're "wrong" or "right"; there is no right or wrong in this recurring discourse. This post is an attempt at opening an healthy and mature conversation! I come in peace gfhgfh

Prefacing this by saying that I'm not a Kerry fan, and I'm not bisexual. So why the hell do I care? Well to be frank, I don't particularly care, I have my own opinions on the character, but I do care (to an extent) about this "community" and I hate seeing what happened to me happen to others, especially new commers who never meant anything wrong. Nobody deserves to be bullied out of a fandom for sharing their opinions on their own blog/space!

Alright this intro was long but let's get on it- buckle up cause this is going to be a looooot of rambling

━

Through the years/months, I've noticed something rather sad; this isn't a debate between bisexual people vs biphobic people, as a lot of people might think and assume; this has always been queer people sharing, sometimes in a really awkward and hurtful way, their interpretation of a character (don't block me yet, please hear me out)

Those who know me knows that I personally care a lot about the canon and writers's visions, so first I want to share some posts about Kerry made by his literal "parents"

Mateusz Tomaszkiewicz, Narrative Designer at CDPR, shared informations on the different romance interest back in December 2020, on the game's release day

When asked about a MLM relationship option, here what he states:

(don't leave just yet)

On a now-deleted comment, RTalsorianGames, original creator of the Cyberpunk tabletop game and by definition original creator of Kerry Eurodyne, stated the following:

Please note that CDPR did in fact consult with Mike himself about Kerry being a MLM exclusive romance!

(Also this isn't a debate about if Kerry cares about V or not, let's not derail this conversation, remember that everyone is allowed to interpret a character and a relationship as they wish)

I wanted to share these tweets to point something really important; there is no "right" or "wrong" label for Kerry, and it all boils down to interpretation < key word

Kerry have multiple states; we HAVE to remember Kerry exist in some kind of cyberpunk multiverse!

We have his 2020 and 2023 self that are confirmed to be bisexual; this is the Kerry Mike and RTalsorian created, the Kerry they have full control and say over; the same young Kerry we see in Johnny's flashback

And then comes his 2077 self, which we see confirmed above as labeled as Homosexual (which again as been approved by Mike himself)

I personally think it's important to start with what his different creators have to say; Kerry is both Mike's and CDPR's character; Kerry is both labeled as being Bisexual and Homosexual

There is a lot of reasons why this change / evolution was made, even tho we all know the main reason; they needed a MLM romance in the game to complete the LI roster. But why take an already established character, a Bi character even, for the Gay romance?

I've seen a lot of people saying that CDPR erased his bisexuality, I understand why it might feel like this, but I don't think it's true or fair! Again, remember that Mike gave his OK for this; he could've at any moment said no, Kerry is HIS baby first and foremost

In game, we learn about Kerry's ex wife and kids; this is something CDPR could've not included at all (and THIS would've been erasing his bisexuality imo) it's not even something that is said out loud, but something to be found by dedicated fans; it's here on purpose, to give depth to the character and to his personal life!

We also see a couple of feminine clothes around his villa; let's not assume anything here, clothes have no genders especially in the 2077 setting, but it can also well point at one-night stand with women and/or multi-gender orgies for example

But, this won't be anything new or controversial, Kerry pushes femV advances in game- this is simply a fact! Like it or not, that's how CDPR's writers, RTAL and Mike decided to evolve Kerry's character for the game; everyone was ok with this

━

Now comes the root of the debate; Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV? and is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?

No, and no - (don't leave just yet, please read a bit more)

Remember that I'm "just" a gay man, I've had discussion with friends of all gender and orientation about this topic and it's been enlightning to hear the different opinions on the matter!

As previously mentioned, it all boils down to Interpretation.

The discourse recently came back because someone shared their uncomfortableness regarding mods that change Kerry's preferences; in the post tags, OP made sure to say that everyone was free to do anything, to ship anything, and that this was just their opinion; but obviously the fandom didn't read that part and started to throw accusation around, and here we are (I shouldn't have to remind people that we all are free to share whatever on our respective blogs, if it hurts you just block the person, don't jump them)

OP is a Bisexual Man; a lot of other Bisexual Men related to this post and rebloged it, sharing their thoughts in the tags (I also rebloged it, I know it caused a few people to back off and block me as a result, which I respect totally)

Going to pick up my questions back up to hopefully state my opinions and "analyses" of the situation as clear as possible

Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV?

No, it's not

Kerry is bisexual, he was married to a women, and potentially still have sex with women and fem individuals, these infos are all canon in game.

Kerry pushes femV flirts away; but since he experience attraction to women, who is to say that in someone's own canon, their fem OC isn't a V, and doesn't have Johnny involved, changing how Kerry and their OC meet drastically; Kerry could fall in love with her! He could; he's bisexual after all.

Is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?

No, it's not

Kerry has a clear preference for men; CDPR choose to show this multiple time in the game, during Johnny's flashback we can see him make out with a masc fan, we can see him being vulnerable with Johnny (imo, his lil crush is showing hard)

I personally haven't seen it/heard it in game, but I've been told that after learning about Kerry's ex-wife, Johnny has a vocal, surprised reaction, has if imagining Kerry with a woman is strange to him

However, there is a lot of biphobic things being said in the discourse, and not in the way you might think of

I thankfully never see the full extent of it; I don't see the obviously biphobic takes, stating that Kerry SHOULD NEVER be with a femV, people being nasty and ATTACKING femV/Kerry shippers; this is never ok, these have been blocked for a long time now

But I sadly see the other takes, which always icked me a bit; the takes that say, "you bisexuality isn't worth of respect if it isn't a 50/50 attraction at all time", takes that are sadly biphobic in nature (making it clear that I'm not pointing finger at anyone, nor am I accusing anyone of being biphobic)

This is what it boils down to, I think, this is the root of the problem

As mentioned before, a lot of Bisexual Men expressed their uncomfort when it comes to femV/Kerry mods; it invalidated Kerry's preference. But this isn't about Kerry, he's fictional, he CANT be hurt by anything, by mods or art or whatever; It invalidate Bisexual Men that share the same preference in Men, Bisexual men that related to Kerry for X or Y.

Bisexuality is a spectrum, queer people has been fighting against Bi erasure for years, but also against Bi stereotypes; and I think this is one of them? (Please correct me if I'm wrong)

Bisexuality isn't a strict 50/50 split preference- it can be! But 60/40, 20/80 and even 99/1 attractions are still Bisexual attractions. I've met a lot of queer people who, despite being bisexual by definition, choose not to label as such (prefering to label as straight or gay depending on their preferences) just because of this "bisexual police" imposing a strict 50/50; "How can you be bisexual, you've only dated men/women" etc

This is what is being imposed in the fandom, this is how it might looks like to people; when you attack a Bisexual Man sharing his uncomfort in seeing people not respecting a Bisexual character's preference, you're telling them "Hey, your bisexuality isn't valid if you have a preference". You're telling them "Your bisexuality isn't correct". You're showing them that you "fixed" a "flawed" bisexual character "that got erased as gay for having a preference" by "modding his bisexuality back"

Kerry being written as MLM exclusive in Cyberpunk 2077 isn't bi erasure; he's still Bisexual, he simply has a strong preference for Men. A preference that he always had, but that can also be amplified after his divorce with his ex wife, for multiple reasons; I also don't have to point out how many queer people in real life explored their homosexuality after being in a hetero-marriage for most of their lives! And that's ok, queer love is an ever evolving spectrum, and I think it's awesome we get more fleshed out characters that explore this in depth

I've seen people compare Kerry to Johnny, and I don't think it's fair; for the simple reason that Kerry is a romance option and Johnny is not.

Johnny express a clear preference for women; however he replies to V (and flirt, in some case) the same way regardless of gender! Kerry on the other end, as previously said, pushed femV's advanced away. Something Johnny can't do since he's not a romance option; tho if he was, and if he was pushing mascV advances away, it would be the exact same situation and same problematic!

Another character that is canonly bisexual is Goro; he replies to V's flirt through text messages the exact same way, he doesn't seem to express any preferences (and no, his "obligation in japan" isn't necessarily a wife, this is heteronormative and another problem all together, not the subject here)

People can express being uncomfortable seeing Johnny with a given gender, or Goro with a given gender; but there isn't any """reason""" to it outside of personal preferences

Kerry situation is problematic because it lies in his clearly, canonly stated preference, how people decide to interpret it, and how it can come off to other queer people who might share sexuality and/or preference with the character

━

Everyone is free to ship whoever however they want

But please; remember that everyone is different. People being uncomfortable with a character bisexuality preference being ""fixed"" shouldn't be too surprising; and if it is, please re-read my post/ You have to be ok with this fact, it's OK to make content that might be uncomfortable for others; this is fiction!

There isn't any Right or Wrong way to be bisexual, to be queer Kerry's bisexuality is perfectly fine; unmodded or modded Everyone is Different; Every Queer experiences is different People relate to characters in different way

Nobody is being misoginist; there isn't any double standard at play

Bisexual people sharing their opinions on their own blogs on how a fandom handle a character's bisexuality isn't biphobic, or an attack to anyone who interpret the character differently!

I promise you nobody is attacking anyone, and a lot of things being said accidently comes off as biphobic on both sides of this eternal "debate"

It all comes down to respecting others interpretations, and agreeing to disagree! Tumblr's filtering system work great, you can easily filter and block tags, or even people if needed

I might've said things awkwardly, and for this I apologise; but don't put words I didn't say into my mouth! If you don't agree, that's fine, and you're more than welcome to filter/block me if needed; but please do not paint me as biphobic or misoginist, same goes to everyone who shared their thoughts on the matter, these are serious accusation and can wrongfully hurt a lot of people

Ship and let Ship, take care of yourselves and remember to curate your space 🙏

[magellanicclouds]

Halo - An Essay: regarding waste management systems and devices for MJOLNIR armoured Spartans It has been a hectic sort of few weeks. Between work and getting sick again (for the fourth time already this year thanks to my crewmates who can't remember it's their duty to stay home when they're ill) I've been on the outs. I haven't had the energy for much, but I'm usually a pretty active person, so this has kind of made me loopy? Which feels like as good a time as any to talk at length about the concept of catheterizing Spartans for waste management in MJOLNIR.

Let me explain.

This Silly Post crossed my dash recently and I fully understand it is meant as lighthearted fun - we have fun here. But it also dragged out some strong thoughts I've had haunting in the back of my mind about this for years because I'm super normal about Halo, and have time on my hands and the right amount of sleep deprivation and medication on board. So I wrote 3500 words about it. And about Karen Traviss, who is pretty knotted up in this conversation, since she's the one who decided to start it back in 2011.

To preface, I'm not an expert, but I have worked in emergency medicine for 25 years, and been a fan of Halo for almost as long. I've had more of a lukewarm relationship with it the last decade or so if I'm being honest, but it will always have a home in my heart; I just think letting it under my skin like that in the first place may have made me feral and prone to biting. Thankfully, I can always happily rotate Fred in my mind until the heat-death of the universe, so that's nice. Anyway, full disclosure: the essay below contains discussion about medical devices, physical trauma, and I am sharing quite a lot of personal negativity about the Kilo-5 trilogy and Karen Traviss. That said, if you'd like to sit in on the length of what I'm about to yell into the sky about all this, you can find it under the cut. I love you.

Welcome to my dissertation.

Section 1 - The Relevant Background:

Equipping Spartans with urinary catheters weeded itself into the Halo universe in the 2011 book Halo: Glasslands, during a conversation between Spartan II Naomi-010 and ODST Mal Geffen. Glasslands was the first in Karen Traviss's Kilo-5 trilogy, and she is both the originator of this, and the only official Halo author or source to have used catheters specifically since. Some context: I don't personally like these books, or their author, or even her reasoning for why she chose to add this. My personal preference doesn't make something 'bad', and I'm not out to hurt any feelings. Kilo-5 isn't a total wash for me, there are some characters and ideas that I'd of otherwise loved to have seen explored through the lens of a different author, but these books felt smothered under Traviss's habit of always injecting her very loud personal voice into the narrative fabric. I think this is something that's fine to do in an original series, but doesn't really belong in an established third party IP. She bangs on about so much of her own narrow worldview and self-assured prejudices across the trilogy that still discussing them today creates division in the fandom, and sadly did a lot of lasting damage to a couple characters. But for the topic here, the dialogue that started all this cath chat came from Naomi-010, having idle conversation with Mal who asks her about bathroom breaks. “I’m catheterized. Another reason why that machine has to be so precisely calibrated. This suit plugs into me in a lot of places.” 'The Machine' she's referring to is a Brokkr assembly, which was introduced to the lore as a large mechanical armature used to get Spartans in and out of MJOLNIR. You can see them in action in cinematics from Halo 4 (+Spartan Ops) and 5.

One single mention, and it was big news. Traviss was naturally interviewed about it because of course she was - people can't help themselves but forget an entire novel and tunnel vision on 'but how pee pee?', and her answer has always irritated me. It's not in what she says, so much as what 'what she says' means in her voice. Traviss didn't answer it directly, but instead talked about how she likes to get into character's heads by addressing the mundane necessity of things that often go overlooked to expand a sense of familiarity with the character and their world. Sounds super reasonable, I know, but don't give her too much credit - that's not a quote. It's just me paraphrasing and honestly I was pretty generous in my wording. Probably because I agree! What bugs me about it, is if you've ever read literally any interview with her, or her personal musings about her writing process, you know there's a bit of an 'honesty' issue there. She's somebody who feels perfectly comfortable ignoring established character voices, traits, or histories to satisfy whatever roles she's reinvented for them, and too many others wind up as mouthpieces. How much are you really challenging yourself in finding characters' voices when most of them are just yours? And the part about familiarity with their world? I giggled a little. She doesn't care about their world, or their aesthetics, or their technology, or their medicine. Because she didn't care about Halo while writing these, and she's not vague about admitting that. It's a matter of pride for her to purposefully refuse to research those things, in the same way she disregarded Star Wars and Gears of War - she doesn't consider the effort to be a valuable part of her process. So instead she'll skim the foundation, gather some recognizable names, pick her targets, and trusts that her personal experiences combined with an outsider perspective will generate better content to seamlessly overwrite what existed. Cool, Karen. Annoying, but why bring all that up? We're here to talk about catheters, right? Well, the fandom for the most part begin and end their assessment of the dialogue at urinary catheters, but the whole quote implies so much more than that - "This suit plugs into me in a lot of places." We're not just dealing with a cath, but apparently with multiple additional external-to-invasive connections. Reader, this dialogue is a plinth to Traviss's bizarre refusal to research not only the franchises she's contracted to write in, but also just into the basic function and hazards of existing concepts that she wants to introduce, and all because she's convinced herself she's done learning about the world. Choosing to ignore the creative freedom of limitless potential in a future of technology that would be basically magic to us today, and instead degrade 529 years of advancement is certainly a take, but it's even more ridiculous to do it with a subject (The Spartan Programme) that is considered to be the peak of advancement in that future's setting. That's clownery, just like her alleged commitment to adjusting her perspective to suit a universe's world.

I want to close out this section with a question: Why is it that writers in the Halo space - both fan and official - cling so tightly to current-day modern concepts as if they'd still be perfectly relevant in 500+ years? Music, for example, apparently suffered a multi-century stagnation in lots of published and fanmade Halo media. Though my partner made a strong counterpoint about this to be fair: we still listen to music composed by Mozart. So there's an argument to be made there. Medicine though. There is way less latitude to embrace the classics there. It's been shown across several games, novels, and films to be sufficiently advanced well beyond anything we're currently capable of or even understand, so why undermine that and choose to drag it centuries backward? For clarity, I am not talking about what might be standard in the public or private sectors, nor the enduring things that'd be used by the public and military alike, like sterile dressings, syringes, supplemental oxygen equipment. Those are the Basics and they will be relevant to us indefinitely. But I'm talking about the UNSC. I'm talking about ONI R&D. I'm talking about Section Three. Retrograding tech and failing to address a necessity that applies to every living person in the Super Soldier Wizardry department makes my mouth flatten into a tight little line.

Section Two - Caths, and why this whole thing got written:

Indwelling urinary catheters, both urethral and suprapubic. There's a laundry list of problems here, but I've distilled it down to the three biggest when suggesting they'd have any safe practical application in Spartans: Care. Activity. Damage. There is unreasonable expectations of care and maintenance for caths with regards to people who can be on operations isolated for months at a time with no support of any kind and are often limited to carrying only what can be kept on their person. The level of extreme physical activity Spartans engage in on any perfectly normal day whether deployed or not is unfit for the stability and safety of a cath. And damage; obvious enough, but with this one I'll be taking a huge emphasis on concussive forces - explosions. Something Spartans are subjected to a lot. I'll be using the height of modern-day catheter quality as a baseline for this, since that's what Traviss felt was sufficient. Regarding Urethral vs Suprapubic, Traviss doesn't specify by name, but Naomi's comment in full reads to me that she's only catheterized temporarily while armoured, hence the assembly needing to be so finely calibrated. Foley caths are temporary urethral caths that would only supplement the urinary process while a person was armoured. Suprapubic caths however are surgically placed devices. They do need routine tube replacement to keep them clean, but unlike the Foley that just serves as an aide measure for an otherwise fully functioning bladder, suprapubic caths are usually placed in people with congenital bladder disfunction, or who've suffered injury or disease that left the bladder in poor health or failure. This type of access will always require a tube in place and this would be the exclusive method of urination - in or out of armour. My Big Three Concerns fit both types similarly, though there is some additional risks associated with urethral caths that I'll cover.

Care: Caring for an invasive cath is a not insignificant effort. They're prone to blockage, kinking, and bacterial growth. They're so frequently responsible for UTIs and kidney stones that these complications are just considered the Standard Fair for having a cath. Their need to be frequently replaced because of their penchant for bacterial growth is the kicker here - whole floral colonies sprout up in caths and can eek their way out into the body through compromised tissue and wreck havoc. They have no self-cleaning mechanism, and steadily deteriorate. Changing and replacing an indwelling cath is a procedure that requires additional supplies that'd have to be carried, and needs to be done in a practiced and clean setting; preferably medical. Granted, there are people who manage the removal and insertion of their own caths at home, but they still need to ensure a clean and safe environment while they do this. A Spartan could never be guaranteed that, nor would it even be wise to consider the vulnerability of removing so much armour to handle it. Modern day caths are recommended to be replaced every 30 days or so, with some models able to be in place for a few months at a time, but that's with constant daily care and cleaning; something that'd be unreasonable for a Spartan to maintain while entrenched who knows where for who knows how long, and without access to replacement medical supplies. Those endurance times between replacements are geared for the average public person who leads an average public life and care for their cath as directed and don't get into fist fights with Sangheili. Needless to say, the endurance time for the same device in a Spartan who leads a wildly different lifestyle probably cuts those times down to a third.

Activity: Modern day caths are designed to offer people the most utility and versatility possible. Both models are available for people who are bed-bound or have extremely limited mobility, as well as for those who are mobile, independent, and live out average lives. With regards to the latter, suprapubics are somewhat more common, if for no other reason than to reduce the Foley's higher risks of induction injury, but modern urethral caths also allow for regular movement and activity with a more reduced chance of becoming dislodged or damaged than they would have had a couple decades ago. But when I say regular activity, I mean going on a walk. Shopping for groceries. Doing basic house chores. Even light exercise and sexual activity can be managed with physician advisement and the appropriate precautions taken. Anytime a Spartan was fielded they'd have to be all the more overly-cautious about Movements Outside of Their Control during confrontations, maneuvers, ambush, environmental or vehicular incidents. Even when things go well there'd be too much risk involved. That said, traumatic decatheterizations happen more frequently than anyone would like, and I'm talking about regular old Joe Everybody. I respond to no less than a dozen of these incidents a year. Both types of catheter are held in place by a bulb balloon that's inflated from a port with around 10-30ccs of saline after the tube enters the bladder (30ccs would be more appropriate for better security of the line). Before removing a cath, the saline is removed to deflate the balloon and the tube is guided out - with a Foley cath, that means being guided out of the urethra. When a Foley cath is traumatically removed, the saline filled balloon - which is like five times wider in diameter than the average 6mm urethra - does a pretty devastating amount of damage on it's way out, penis or vagina; though a penile urethra has significantly more length to damage, and the penile meatus very typically is torn. These incidents run high risk of bladder hematoma as well, which requires urgent surgical intervention. The very worst traumatic decatheterizations I've responded to were all penile and had trauma to external tissue. Ever microwaved a hotdog a little too long?

Damage: How often are Spartans subjected to explosive and other concussive forces? Silly question - answer: a lot and often and unavoidable. And we know they still feel the powerful feedback. Despite shields and dampeners and a self-moderating gel layer, strong inertial forces are still felt through the suits. Across multiple novels we're given details about near misses and blasts, accelerated or uncontrolled falls, rattling their teeth, hampering their vision, hearing, or balance; they've been rendered unconscious and suffered internal injuries. The fact that most of these events don't flat out kill them is a credit to their armour and augmentations. For reference - when a person experiences explosive or concussive force from a distance enough to avoid separation of limbs, bisection, etc, the totality of their injuries can't and won't be seen externally. How they present on the outside is just the tippy tip of the iceburg - it's what's happened to them internally that you need to be concerned about. Cracked or fractured bones, torn musculature, arterial shearing, hollow organ rupture, cardiac and brain tissue bleed, to name some common ones, and this kind of trauma extends to all implanted devices as well. For example, rods and nails and other structural aids or replacements are much more resilient than your organic tissues, and can dislodge when tissues tear or rupture, damaging anything in their way like shrapnel. The fragile little balloon of a catheter will shatter when subjected to even relatively minor explosive force, so to even consider for a moment that this would be a viable piece of equipment for people intended to routinely be involved in explosive environments is beyond willful negligence. That there wouldn't be a better solution to the question of waste management - a necessity for literally all human people who make up the entirety of the Spartan branch, with the infinite funding of ONI R&D seems so stupid to me that I… well, that I wrote this. Because, friends - participating in active warfare is not cath-safe. The kinds of physical demands and forces on Spartan bodies are not cath-safe. The risks will never outweigh the benefits to this. Even while sealed in powered armour and a skinsuit tech layer, the very thought of Section Three engineers or Halsey or anyone involved in the development of MJOLNIR dismissing the glaring obvious failure of Spartans having any kind of externalized invasive devices is so unreasonably negligent that it could only be the brainchild of an author who's convinced that these characters are all actually just psuedo-intelligent government boogiemen who aren't as capable as they claim to be. But No. They are that capable, and they are that intelligent and the fact that they have a bottomless budget and deeply flexible ethics is literally what makes them so dangerous.

So if we have to address this, how do we do it? Apparently there was always an official answer for this. Former Franchise Development Director, creator of the Master Chief**, and extremely racist asshole Frank O'Connor weighed in on this in the same interview, where he almost immediate rejected and denied Traviss's catheterization claim and says that 'this sort of stuff' was the kind of thing he and the other creative heads at Bungie/343i talked and planned about all the time. So how does this work then, because we're invested now. According to 'ol Frankie's elegant input: they just pee freely into the suit. That's it. For clarity, he's talking about the skinsuit and not the MJOLNIR interior proper. He goes on to say that connectivity between body and MJOLNIR at all levels is fully noninvasive, but precise, and that it doesn't matter what kind of body output a Spartan introduces into the suit interior, because a hygienic valve system (??) will scrub it continually and collect all matter for recycling and reintroduction via capillary action powered by movement. It's not clear in what layers or intermediaries these mechanisms occupy, he doesn't break it down more than that. But that's the answer, and it did exist back when Traviss was penning Kilo-5.

Is this answer better than haphazardly plugging extension cords from actual organ systems into MJOLNIR interior? Yes. Like, leagues better by comparison, but also I still think it sucks. To me anyway. It's flat out gross as hell, which definitely fits the personal brand of a man who proudly overfed his cat and called himself "Stinkles", but also it just doesn't strike me as the kind of design strategy ONI would pursue for any of their assets. Beside it just being 100% torn from Dune's stillsuits, it's also missing that special brand of proprietary Section Three je ne sais quoi. There's layers upon layers of too-specialized equipment installed into these people for everything else, why skip this? A body function that should have been Point 3 on a 50 point list of 'stuff to manage'. Also though? It's a lot of freedom. This is just another easy opportunity to add yet another layer of dependence. Spartans are expensive equipment. It doesn't do to give them any fewer reasons to think they can ever walk away.

So anyway, I figured I'd take a crack at it. I came up with this while editing the last two paragraphs: [Waste management] - a fully internalized collection and processing device - lets say a cybernetic implantation - that entirely replaces the bladder. It has bio-organic lumens that interconnect it to the GI and Hepatic organs. The implant assists in accelerating the processing of gathering and refining waste materials with the help of nanobots that identify and redirect waste along the lumens of each system, plus they keep the implant clean and free of bad flora. All twice-processed waste gets refined a lot quicker and any water by-product of the process is refined and redistributed back to the organs along the lumens. None of the refined water is removed from the body for drinking, because that's an unnecessary step; it's already inside. (Drinking water would be the responsibility of a suit system more likely - like, sweat leeching in the skinsuit; refine, filtrate, purify, collect into a reservoir, and jettison the excess sodium. ) There is no 'extraction of other viable nutrient' from the remainder, it's been twice identified as waste. It gets catabolized and consumed by the nanobots as a fuel source, and no externalized waste is created at all while the Spartan is geared up. The implant doesn't always run like this - it only engages this way when the Spartan is wearing MJOLNIR, and when they're not, it just works like an out-of-the-box bladder. The intermittence of usage lets the organic organs truck along as usual, preventing risk of atrophy, and the Spartan can just use a bathroom like everyone else. I'm not a bioengineer, but I do like sci fi and I think all that sounds like something that'd be possible in this sandbox. And that's the real fun of it, isn't it? There's no way anyone today can anticipate what sort of gadgetry might be available 500+ years from now, especially in a fictional universe that includes military tech hybridized with reverse engineered alien tech.

I think it's fascinating when writers and artists shake loose and really grab the reins, and I love seeing the fruit of that labour in this particular tumblr community so often. We're not a huge Halo circle, but we're a passionate one, and if this essay leaves you with nothing else, I hope it will at least remind you to Go For It when you're writing your next fic or drawing your next piece, or composing, or sewing, or printing, or anything!

In Conclusion: Rest easy, friends.

Despite Traviss's word and even books that went to print, the official canon is that Spartans are not catheterized. If that's a bummer for anyone, canon can't stop you from writing whatever you want, but I do hope maybe you'll remember my reasoning for why it might not be the best idea? At least not for armoured Spartans. A Spartan, but they're laid up in hospital? Any non-Spartan personnel? Maybe you're writing in the public sector, a colony world or vessel? Sure - I'll bet caths are still plenty widely used. Why not? They're a blissfully simple and useful effective piece of equipment. It's just all about adjusting and adapting for practicality. Medical science, like any technology, adapts and evolves infinitely as we learn and discover new things. Treatments or drug algorithms I'd of used just last year have already undergone changes, and protocols are amended constantly. It's why a person 'practices' medicine; why a scientist is always a student. If questions like this or similar really need answering in your next work, remember: Give yourself the credit you deserve, and embrace the spirit of invention. Let my Cyber Bladder, by Sparklets be the candle in the window for you!

You may all retrieve your keys from the bowl and unsilence your phones. Stay safe and please text me when you get home. Thank you. ' u ' **Addendum: Former Bungie Creative Art Director Marcus Lehto is in fact the person who is most associated with the creation of the Master Chief.**

[underforeversgrace]

Nine (or so) People You'd Like To Get To Know Better

I love tags games and it's goddamn tag game time again! Thanks to @jackdaw-sprite for tagging me in stuff for me to mess around with!

Rules: Answer the 4 questions and tag 9 people you'd like to know better.

Last Song: YouTube is playing in the background and this is what it played from my mix: For Honor by Peyton Parrish. I am so in love with his songs for real for real! Viking Metal my beloved.

Currently Watching: I'm not currently watching anything new BUT I am rewatching Buffy: the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series! I think I'm going to start watching Supernatural and/or Doctor Who again soon.

Currently Reading: Other than all the baller fanfic dropped during Invisobang? I'm not reading much original stories right now, between school, work, and fandom! But the last thing I read was Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao! And I will recommend it until my dying breath. Enjoy the summary!:

The boys of Huaxia dream of pairing up with girls to pilot Chrysalises, giant transforming robots that can battle the mecha aliens that lurk beyond the Great Wall. It doesn't matter that the girls often die from the mental strain.   When 18-year-old Zetian offers herself up as a concubine-pilot, it's to assassinate the ace male pilot responsible for her sister's death. But she gets her vengeance in a way nobody expected—she kills him through the psychic link between pilots and emerges from the cockpit unscathed. She is labeled an Iron Widow, a much-feared and much-silenced kind of female pilot who can sacrifice boys to power up Chrysalises instead.​   To tame her unnerving yet invaluable mental strength, she is paired up with Li Shimin, the strongest and most controversial male pilot in Huaxia​. But now that Zetian has had a taste of power, she will not cower so easily. She will miss no opportunity to leverage their combined might and infamy to survive attempt after attempt on her life, until she can figure out exactly why the pilot system works in its misogynist way—and stop more girls from being sacrificed.

Current Obsession: There's a few that I'm rotating between currently!

Peyton Parrish's music

Jonathan Young's music

Miracle of Sound's music

Buffy: the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series (specifically Wesley Wyndam-Pryce)

Danny Phantom, ofc

Ecto-Implosion!

Uhhhhh... do I even know 9 people? Let's check out what people I know well are doing! @probably-dead @hannahmanderr @the-oaken-muse @raders1001 @scarletsaphire @duchi-nesten @going-getting-got-ghost @half-deadmagicperson aaand @blobghost!

[2af-afterdark]

Lazy Week

Fandom: What in Hell is Bad? Contents: Jegudial x GN!MC, fluff, it's implied Jegudial and MC have this exchange a lot so... no devil protection squad A/N: But, like, I just wanna play with the angels (and I wanna be silly with explaining why Jegudial wasn’t in the rotation, even though I know it was just a glitch). Word Count: 496

“Heeey,” Jegudial, nearly naked and reclining against the gates of the fabricated Heaven that had been established on a small patch of Hell, said as the child of Solomon drew near. 

His legs were spread just wide enough that the cloth wrapped around his waist threatened to roll up his thighs and reveal what should have been hidden from the world. A gentle breeze blew under the cloth as if reminding him that he was just barely decent. 

“Did you come to visit us again? Alone?” Jegudial asked with a dash of intrigue in his voice. Ashes fell from the end of the cigarette between his lips, just barely missing landing against his skin as they scattered on the ground instead. “I'm surprised they let you out without a watchdog.”

They puffed out their chest pridefully. “You need to leave.”

He blinked at them absent-mindedly a few times before giving one, brief chuckle. He stood from his spot, stretched his limbs, and exhaled loudly. “Gladly. Standing guard was getting boring.”

His vivid pink eyes stared straight through them where they stood. Their arms were crossed over their chest, their mouth twisted into a frown.

“Are you upset?” He asked in jest. 

“You didn't put up a fight,” they pouted.

He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and flicked it off somewhere into the ether. “Why would I? I'd rather spend time Earth side, so I'm not going to argue with someone giving me the week off. Argue with Barachiel when it's his shift if that's what you want. Bring someone with you though.” Otherwise Barachiel would tear them limb from limb without a second thought. “Were you hoping I would, even though I never have?”

“You…” 

“Me?” He prompted them to continue, but his voice was tingled with amusement.

“You suck.”

“I could, if you want~” The innuendo was in the tone of his voice and the way he lazily leered at them rather than the words himself. The way their cheeks puffed up made him want to poke them. “If you come back to Earth, anyway. The ambiance is better there.”

“I refuse.” For the umpteenth time since meeting him, they refused. Every time it was the same.

“Unfortunate.” Jegudial shrugged his shoulders. “If you change your mind and want to try some angel energy, I’ll try to be back in a month.” Or however long it took for him to find someone in need of his – and God’s – love.

“Please don’t come back.” They said bluntly, but it was clear they were flustered by him.

“Aww, but you deserve love too.” There was a smile on his beautiful face that implied he wanted to devour them where they stood, but considered them a skippable appetizer when compared to the bounty that was all the humans awaiting him. “Have fun while I’m out.”

With that, he was glad to go off and spread a little more love rather than spending his week fighting devils.

[pastafossa]

Warning About A Plagiarizing Fic Author

*edit: FIC HAS BEEN TAKEN DOWN OFF AO3! Her blog posts here on tumblr however remain up so I ask that this keep circulating. *Edit again: all accounts appear to have been taken down, and all blogs look down save for her @k-9bails account which she had the audacity to use to try to follow me again. I’ve got a reblog with all the relevant updates but I’m adding it here, too. Original post: Right. Time for the callout post, since the thief has refused to answer my messages or take down the fic. Before we start: do not send her hate mail. At most, I’m looking for firm requests that she take down her fic and, as you’ll see, all the blog posts where she’s stolen content from me. Mostly I’m just trying to apply firm pressure so she takes all the stolen work down, and so that people are aware of what she’s doing so she can’t do this to anyone else. So, let’s start. If you’re in the Daredevil fandom on tumblr and AO3 at all, you might have heard of my fic The Red Thread about a psychic reader/OC referred to as Jane Hind/The Hound, who can see, via third eye, psychic threads of connection between people, animals, and beloved objects. It’s this fic that’s been blatantly plagiarized by @k9bails (who’s blocked me at present, so here’s the link to her main blog which I managed to access before I was blocked). Her fic on AO3 is called Legend, under the username K9bails. She’s also got a side blog called @k-9bails​ which appears less active, and a wattpad profile here, so please, if you write, make sure your work hasn’t been stolen. She’s only got the first chapter as of today, but it’s already full of stolen material, and her blog is absolutely bursting at the seams with things she’s stolen from me. Fortunately, before she blocked me, I was able to get screenshots, both of the fic just in case she edited it later, and her blog (which I had to screenshot on PC, so apologies for messiness).  I’ve made a report to AO3 (please DO NOT report it on AO3, they prefer only one person do the reporting so that the volunteer team isn’t overwhelmed) and I am awaiting word back. But she’s also got my stuff all over her tumblr, and since she’s ignored my messages, it’s time to post it, since she’s active in the fandom and I don’t want her taking anyone else’s work.

Let’s start with the main bit from her fic. Left side is my first chapter, right side is her fic. If you’ve read TRT, you know that the concept of psychic threads seen through the third eye is incredibly important. They connect friends and acquaintances, family, pets, and even beloved childhood objects, with each type of connection denoted by a different color. She’s rotated some colors around, and taken some of the colors I introduce later like white, black, and purple, but this is very much my concept. Note she’s stolen a line almost directly word for word here: ‘Silver threads always struck Scout as the saddest,’ to compare to my, ‘That last always struck you as the saddest.’

In this case, she’s also taken the kaleidoscope effect line from a few chapters later:

I thought this was blatant, but it only got worse: she lifts two of my other original characters, and doesn’t even bother to change their fucking names. In this case, in her very first chapter, she’s lifted both Ciro, my OC’s Italian father figure (I’ve added a screenshot on the upper right from Ch17 of the first time his name is used), and Eli, an OC adopted by Ciro (also added to screenshot, bottom right). Eli doesn’t even appear until ch 36 so this stretches a long ways.

The rest of this I’m going to put behind a see more tag, cause we got a lot to go.

But we’re not done, believe it or not, considering there’s only a single chapter of hers so far - a single chapter containing a very similar opening line, and a bizarre lift of my frequent End Note message that leads to my tumblr??? That one puzzled me because there’s no real reason to steal that.

Yet another: she’s made use of the Hound theme, and made a barebones attempt to change the summary line enough to slide under the radar. If you’ve read TRT then you know, but if not: my OC’s code name is Hound, she’s frequently referred to as Hound or the Hound of Los Angeles, there are Hound metaphors galore, and Matt has taken to calling her his Hellhound, and those references are honestly so common it’d take hours to list them all. 

I also happened to notice, after all this, that she’d linked to her tumblr, much like I did. So I wandered over. And it only got worse from there. Her own ‘answers’ to asks mimic mine, including lifting answers from posts I made here on tumblr. I’m not going to keep having side by sides because the post will get crazy long but if anyone wants receipts on any of these, I’ll go find it on a case by case basis.

Here’s where she mentions her character using threads to track people down for Bad Figures who want to kill them, along with tracking down threads for information, aka a major plotline of my fic and literally my character’s stated profession. Screenshot:

Here’s where she describes more about how ‘her’ threads and abilities work (starred paragraph is an almost exact summary of how my character’s abilities work, including how she can send them images and feelings, down to how a red thread is needed to control a person, definitely her taking my major plotline involving body jumping via red threads). She also, SURPRISE! Steals my psychic animals that inhabit the threads, that I’ve hinted relate to the subconscious, and that usually have some traits from the character. Oh, and the part about how doing all that makes her sick, yet again lifted from my fic, where my character gets incredibly sick the more she pushes herself doing all this.

Here’s another section in which she lifted Ciro - my Ciro that adopted Jane Hind is a native Italian, founded the particular family-like group he’s a part of, and also basically adopted Eli - who was raised in the US.

This section is where she’s roughly stolen Jane Hind’s mental trauma and the cause: her childhood arc. I’ve discussed at length here on tumblr (going to work on finding those posts in my tumblr history and update here when I can) and in the fic itself all the things she’s missed, using exactly this sort of phrasing. In fact, our major arc we’re currently going through in the fic (chapters 130 or so)... hm, references frequently missed out Christmases, birthdays, and little things we take for granted. This is one reason I’m sure she’s reading the fic as it’s getting posted. On top of that, she decided she’d also lift how Jane had never seen a beach and fell in love with it the first time she did. It’s a small detail but it’s just yet another thing she’s acting like is hers, just like the details about how this is all new and her Nelson and Murdock friends have taken her in. 

Perhaps most bizarrely, her blog has even been reblogging posts friends have tagged me in that I’ve responded to. In this one, though, she gets a little too obvious - not only is she reblogging a post, maybe a few days after another friend tagged me in it and I reblogged it, but she also tried to tag her fic ‘the psychic thread’ as opposed to ‘the red thread’, which is my own series tag.

I have no idea why she’s done this. I have no idea why she was so blatant, why she thought she could get away with it. She also appears to have a few sock puppet accounts - for example, she makes a claim lifted straight from a half-joking post I made about my OC’s potential pokemon and then makes her own post using the same pokemon for her OC, and credits it to another account that seems to just exist to make her look more realistic. It was one of the more bizarre things stolen, since my post about it didn’t get much attention, but it proves she’s actively following me on tumblr quite closely, proven by a friend who snagged a few screenshots of her likes tab where she’d liked my posts.

She’s blocked me now, so I can’t see her main blog. I can’t ask her to take it down anymore, outside of the comment I’ve left on her fic and the report I made to AO3. But she knows, 100%, that she’s stolen my work, and just as frustrating, has gone on at length on her blog about how all your characters should be original, and truly yours, and how you should never imitate other authors. It’s a ballsy move considering how small the Daredevil fic circle is here on tumblr and AO3.

And look. I don’t want her to drown in hate mail. I really don’t. All I want is for her to take down the fic, and remove the posts in which she blatantly stole content from me. I’ve worked on TRT for years, I’ve poured hours and hours and almost a million words into this story, and the fact that this person is still reading it as they’re plagiarizing it is both incredibly insulting and incredibly hurtful. If you’re an author in the Daredevil fandom, I highly recommend blocking her. She’s mentioned a few very popular authors in the fandom in the blog posts, so I know she’s reading your work, too, and I don’t want yours stolen anymore than I do. If you see someone commenting about her fic, tell them its stolen. Warn your DD author friends. And if you’re going to say something to her, let it be a request to take down her fic and delete the blog posts that have plagiarized my content. That’s my end goal - not to burn her life down but to just pressure her to stop stealing something very, very dear to me, and hopefully learn not to do this in the future.

That’s all I want. *Edited 12/20: as of today, her fic on AO3 has been taken down! The scores of comments, or AO3′s plagiarism team, has done the job so this is a huge win, and I’m grateful to everyone that helped! Her tumblr posts on her k9bails account, however, are still up, and she has yet to respond, so let the pressure continue. I’m also hunting for her other accounts since it’s become clear the k9bails account and the @k-9bails​ account are both not her main blog. If anyone has any leads or knows who this person is, please send me a message! I want to find their main blog in case it’s following me so I can block it, and potentially apply pressure there to get her to take my work down on her k9bails account.

[ivy-and-ivory]

I absolutely adore your Batman and Jason Todd fics!!! I was wondering if you had any fic recs? ♥️

Thank you Anon!! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing :D

There’s so much incredible Jason & Bruce fic out there and I’m more than happy to share some recs! I’m unfortunately not the best about remembering to keep track of fics I enjoy, so this is by no means a definitive/comprehensive list of my favorites, but I scrolled through my bookmarks and found a few fics that will hopefully satisfy your Jason & Bruce cravings :)

Stargazer by LemonadeGarden @lemonadegarden (47,656 words, Multi-chap, Complete)

Author’s Summary:

“Jason Todd is seriously injured during patrol one night, and is forced to stay at the manor to recuperate until his injuries are healed. To pass the time, he makes a list of things he never got to do before he died. Except there's one small problem: most of them involve Bruce, and Jason doesn't really think Bruce cares all that much about him anymore. This is a story about how wrong he is, but I made it sad anyway.”

Truly what can I even say about this fic. This is the story that made me fall in love with Jason Todd, and Bruce & Jason reconciliation fics, and Bruce & Jason destination/road trip fics, and basically everything I care most about in this fandom. I’d been a Superbat fan for a while before I started getting into the Batfam side of things, and around the time I read this I was only just starting to read stories about the Robins. This was the gateway fic. This was the one that caught me and made it stick. Formative, definitive, one of my all time faves.

this kind of weather by r_astra @heyy-its-skip (46,456 words, Multi-chap, WIP)

Author’s Summary:

“Jason’s at school when his mom dies, and that’s the only reason any of it happens. If he’d been home, if he’d been with her, he would’ve been in the wind before anyone else even knew. Even if they looked, no one ever would’ve found him. He’d have taken to the sewers if that’s what it took, man-eating crocodile guy and all.”

Ohhhhh this fic. Bio-parent Bruce AUs don’t always do it for me, but the fics that get it right get it RIGHT, and this is one of them. Possibly my favorite Jason joins the batfam late fic ever. I’m obsessed with the Jason characterization in this one. Like actually obsessed. Like he is rotating in my brain like a rotisserie chicken at all times constantly 24/7 obsessed. Cannot recommend enough.

Growing Like A Breeze by whaleofatime @cetaceans-pls (6,114 words, Oneshot, Complete)

Author’s Summary:

“April 27th isn't anyone's favourite date, but it's somehow worse than usual today when Bruce gets his car stolen. It's nice of Red Hood to come to his rescue. Nicer even that Jason keeps him company afterwards.”

If you’ve read my fics I think it should be a given that any Jason & Bruce fic tagged “Inexplicable Road Trip” is absolutely going to do it for me. But god, Bruce’s psyche in this one. The man has twisted himself up in more tangles than the Gordian knot. Really fantastic exploration of Bruce & Jason’s relationship and trying to move forward past the destructiveness of grief and blame. I will be thinking about the bumper stickers on Bruce's Hyundai Elantra forever.

through space and time by sparkycap @sparkysomething (6,334 words, Oneshot, Complete)

Author's Summary:

"When an Outlaws mission gets Jason sent back twelve years in the past, he finds himself in a familiar position: stealing something stupid and getting caught by a Batman who wants to give him a second chance. It’s a refreshing change from how encounters with his present-day Batman usually go."

I am a simple woman. Give me a fic where Bruce interacts with Jason without really knowing the significance of who he's interacting with and I will go feral, every time. Absolutely brutal interaction between a well-meaning Bruce and a hurting Jason in this one. Don't want to spoil anything, but there's one line of dialogue in particular that just. Ugh. Fuck me all the way up.

Clearly Calm and Keeping Terrorized by Batbirdies @batbirdies (258,290 words, Multi-Chap, Complete)

Author's Summary:

"Jason made a deal with Bruce, no killing, and there would be no more conflict between them. At least on patrol. Jason reasoned it would be easier to accomplish his goals without constantly fighting Batman along the way. It didn’t change anything, not really. Not until he found an old gift he never knew about and Bruce asked him to dogsit Titus while he and Damian were out of town. Not until the Lazarus Pit started bothering him again. AKA: My take on a Jason rejoins the family fic."

I am once again reccing a Bruce & Jason reconciliation fic (are you perhaps noticing a trend?) This one will break your heart and put it back together again. It's part of a series but can stand alone (though I've read the two works that precede it and highly recommend them as well). 250k+ words about a father and son and the rest of their family trying to figure out how to heal. Genuinely there is so much love in this fic. And trauma! Can't forget the trauma. But also so much love.

Code of Silence by JHSC @jhscdood (9,376 words, Multi-Chap, Complete)

Author's Summary:

"Willis Todd doesn’t die in prison. That doesn’t change much, until it does."

This one is less Jason & Bruce-centric than the others on this list (though Bruce still features, especially in the other works in the series) but it absolutely fits the bill for Jason & his dad content so I'm reccing it anyway. This fic utterly transformed the way I view Willis Todd. Incredibly thoughtful, emotional exploration of trauma and recovery and trying to heal. The whole series is gold.

Good Intentions and the Highest Hopes by rotasha (16,863 words, Multi-Chap, Complete)

Author's Summary:

"Bruce offers each of his children the chance to go on vacation with him, and they get to choose the destination. Jason chooses the one place he thinks Bruce will enjoy the least, out of spite. That’s how the two of them end up going to Disney World."

Another one that perfectly checks all my favorite Bruce & Jason fic boxes. Reconciliation fic? Check. Set in highly specific non-Gotham destination? Check. Bruce not quite knowing how to connect to Jason but trying his best anyway and Jason finally deciding to let him? Check, check, check. Jason's kind of an asshole in this one; I adore him eternally. And I love Bruce so so much in this.

There are so many more I could add but I'm going to leave it at that for now! Hope some of these are new to you & that you enjoy them! And thanks again for reading my work :D

[liaromancewriter]

Miracles

Premise: A chance encounter with Ethan brings an expected revelation for Cassie.

Fandom: Choices Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Fluff. Words: 1,050

A/N: Submission for @choicesmaychallenge24 prompt "mood changed like the weather" and for @jerzwriter Mother's Day event.

Miracle of life, my ass!

It was a miracle the world’s population was edging toward eight billion, given the indignities that pregnancy wrought on women’s bodies.

Cassie Valentine barely controlled a grimace as her patient let out an inhumane scream and tried to push a watermelon-sized human being out of her hoo-ha. The mammoth pregnant belly heaved and metamorphized with each contraction, blood and fluids gushing out from between her thighs.

She was in week three of her intern year ambulatory electives block. She’d chosen Women’s Health, thinking learning more about her body would be cool. However, most of her rotation had been spent in labor and delivery since that team was short-staffed.

Apparently, this was a popular time for giving birth in Boston. What else could horny Bostonians do during the long, cold winter nights?

Contrary to popular belief, babies straight out of the womb were not cute, with their skin red and wrinkly and covered in amnio fluids. Witnessing a mid-morning birth was enough to put one off their lunch.

“You have a beautiful baby girl,” the third-year resident cooed, smiling widely as she laid the wriggling tiny human on the mother’s chest.

Cassie scrutinized the scrunched-up face peeking through the blanket and thought it looked more like a fish, but to each their own.

Leaving mother and child to bond, she followed the team out of the delivery room, discarding the protective sheath and cap in the bin outside, and shook loose her long blonde hair.

Checking her watch to make sure she wasn’t late for afternoon didactics, Cassie strode toward the nurses’ station, intent on completing the notes from this case while it was fresh in her mind.

She didn’t often think about motherhood. After an almost scare in college that had given her and Jackson several restless nights waiting for the results, she’d been diligent about preventing accidental pregnancies.

Still, given that she came from two prolific dynastic families, Cassie supposed it was inevitable she’d have kids one day. But everything she’d witnessed these few weeks hadn’t exactly endeared her to the idea of putting her body through all that!

Her mind came to a screeching halt, and her feet slowed at the sight of Dr. Ramsey leaning against a wall, arms folded, chatting with another attending.

Ethan looked out of place in the brightly painted maternity ward, decorated with colorful wall posters about the benefits of breastfeeding and glittery balloons bobbing in the air as eager parents took their babies home. His somber expression countered the excited hubbub in the busy hallway.

Now, that was a man who couldn’t see kids in his future. Cassie still remembered his ambivalence about family and children when they tested the fMRI machine. Given how his brain scan lit up, it was a sore subject.

Not that it’s any of my business, she thought, turning away. Still, she furtively sniffed her underarms (the delivery room had been hot and sweaty) and sighed in relief. All clear.

Cassie sat behind the desk at the nurses’ station, entering notes into the computer, when a shadow fell over her. She glanced up mid-sentence, instinctively knowing who it was.

“Be with you in a minute, Dr. Ramsey,” the charge nurse said from behind her.

Ethan towered above the station, but his eyes were locked on his phone so Cassie could observe without him being any wiser.

He looked tired, his jawline scruffy with overgrown stubble. His short, neatly styled dark brown hair was unusually tousled—as if he’d run his fingers through it.

Cassie’s hand itched to touch the small, subtle strand of hair that fell slightly forward. It gently curved towards his forehead, softening his otherwise polished (and somewhat austere) look.

She thought it added a bit of character, giving Ethan a relaxed and approachable appearance. Until his striking blue eyes caught you spying. Then, there was nothing casual about Ethan Ramsey.

“Rookie,” Ethan said neutrally, head cocked sideways, his gaze inscrutable.

“Dr. Ramsey,” Cassie acknowledged cooly with a slight nod. She wanted to be nonchalant, but curiosity won out. “What are you doing here?”

He quirked one eyebrow, his expression haughty, for lack of a better word.

“Sorry!” Cassie blurted out, feeling her cheeks flush. “I know it’s none of my business.”

“No, it’s not,” he said, hesitating. “But, since you knew Dolores…”

His Adam’s apple pulsed as he swallowed, emotions swimming in his eyes. He blinked them away, cleared his throat, and shut down any hint of vulnerability.

“Baby Hudson is being discharged from NICU this week. Dolores’ sister asked me to coordinate the transfer to his pediatrician in Minneapolis.”

“Oh. I didn’t know he was still here.”

Cassie realized she hadn’t given Dolores or her baby much thought in the last couple of months. She had moved on to other patients, trying to keep her head above water as the harsh realities of residency and competing in the fellowship competition beat down on her.

Of course, Ethan Hudson was still in the neonatal ICU, given his premature birth at twenty-six weeks. It was a miracle he’d survived the night. She felt terrible for her negligence, even though Dolores’ untimely death had devastated her at the time.

“Why would you?” Ethan commented impassively, drumming his fingers on the desk. “He was no longer under your care.”

“How is he?”

“He——” Ethan sighed, looking away from her briefly. “He’s hit all his developmental markers. Dr. Lozoya doesn’t expect any long-term complications. He has Dolores’ eyes.”

Her green eyes sharpened at the softly spoken words, the tenderness in his voice catching her off guard. From the sudden frown on his lips, Cassie suspected he hadn’t meant to make that admission, at least not to her.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, doctor,” the charge nurse interrupted.

The bubble surrounding them burst. Ethan straightened from the desk and nodded absently before accompanying the charge nurse down the hallway.

Cassie watched his retreating back with a considering look. In the short time she’d known him, his moods appeared to change like the weather.

The man was full of contradictions: arrogant one minute, compassionate another. Dismissive and rude at times, he was also wickedly sarcastic and funny on the most unexpected occasions.

Who, she wondered, was the real Ethan Ramsey?

---------------

All Fics & Edits: @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @jerzwriter @lady-calypso

@mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16

@justyourusualash @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Ethan & Cassie only: @cariantha @custaroonie @youlookappropriate

[monsterblogging]

So, something finally clicked into place re: Harry Potter and why people get so attached to it, despite it being... shall we say, not that good.

Now I want y'all to keep in mind, I am saying this as a former Harry Potter fan who still occasionally feels nostalgia for the franchise. As in, what I'm about to say here is informed by personal experience and self-analysis as much as anything.

It finally clicked that Harry Potter hooks you by the emotional vulnerabilities.

As someone who's studied various cults, and knows how they play to your emotions to suck you in, I can definitely say that Harry Potter many of the same moves.

Now, I'm not saying that Harry Potter fandom is a cult. I'm not saying that JK Rowling did this with any kind of deliberate intention. I'm talking about this to get anyone who has any kind of positive feelings toward this franchise critically thinking about what the foundation of their relationship with it really is.

To put it quite simply, cults often promise an escape from the ordinary world, and an entry into a world filled with wonder, belonging, and a sense of identity. There's groups out there who will tell you what kind of magic space alien your soul is, and what your very special purpose for incarnating on this Earth in a human body is.

The actual beliefs and moral precepts cults hold to are never really deep, but are always geared to play to your emotions. There's nearly always a clear-cut enemy responsible for everything we're supposed to hate. Cults often praise love and unity as the best things in the world, and believe that their power can overcome all evil.

It's easy to miss how the wizarding world is actually a soul-crushing dystopia when you're being distracted by the latest magical novelty.

It's easy to overlook how cruel and petty people in wizarding society actually are when your emotions are being played with stuff about love being the greatest magic of all.

It's easy to miss how the Hogwarts house system functions to foster rivalry between students and creates an environment (Slytherin House) where students are allowed to simmer in and internalize the Wizarding World's most rancid political ideologies when the house you or a quiz picked for you is your shiny new identity.

"I like Harry Potter because it's about the power of friendship triumphing over evil!" Yeah, that's... exactly my point.

And like, I'm not saying that the fact that this stuff appeals to people is a bad thing in itself. All of this stuff touches on very fundamental psychological needs. The point I'm making here is that these things are so fundamental that when we're deprived of them (whether or not we even consciously realize we're deprived), when something seems to offer them to us, it creates this massive emotional attachment that does not fade easily.

I still have an emotional attachment to Harry Potter, even though when I stop and ask myself what it's got that I actually find all that spectacularly compelling or interesting, I struggle to actually come up with an answer. Now, when I think about, say, Harry getting his wand and buying magic books and taking magic classes I feel a sense of excitement, but that's not really the same thing; because these emotions are coming from my experience as a very isolated, repressed, and understimulated child coming upon a novelty and power fantasy. When I try to think up anything in Harry Potter that I'd actually like to rotate in my mind, there's just... nothin'.

Now some of you out there might be thinking, "yeah but what about building on her ideas? What about AUs?" and like, the thing is? It doesn't appeal to me. I've got enough skill and knowledge at this point that I can sketch out a better OC than she could ever create in a couple of minutes, and a better fantasy setting in a few days or so.

To wrap this up, I guess I'll just say that really important to be able to distinguish between fiction that's actually saying something worthwhile, and fiction that's just hitting you in your emotional vulnerabilities. Of course friendship and love are important. And of course there's nothing wrong with power fantasies and escape fantasies. And not every story has to be all that deep. But you should ask yourself: could it the case that superficial messages about love, friendship, and family are distracting you from a pretty rancid worldview beneath it all?

Also, before I go - I'm just gonna say that anybody who responds to this post with praise for the fandom or the fanfiction or tells people to go buy fan merch or pirate the series or whatever is going to get blocked. Go clown somewhere else.

[anghraine]

5 AM blogging: another female character we know little about who lives rent-free in my head is ... well, there's even less of an excuse, since she comes from a canon full of distinctive female characters.

But I've been weirdly obsessed with Lady Anne Darcy née Fitzwilliam from Pride and Prejudice for years. My first P&P fic was about her and she haunts several of my other ones in different iterations. There are even more fanciful versions of her in my head that I simply refuse to write. Someone once commented that I clearly dislike her because some of the depictions are unfavorable and it was like ... oh no, these are just some of the many ways she rotates in my head.

I mean ... do I subscribe to the idealized maternal figure version of Lady Anne that P&P fandom has often gone for? No—she was basically a good person, but I think the implication is clear that she was the more flawed and less personable of Darcy's parents.

Do I think she was opposed to her sister in perspective generally or in particular about their children's future marriage? No, I don't think there's any reason to assume so. I imagine her as smarter and kinder than Lady Catherine (Wickham is the first person to mention Lady Anne and doesn't seem to have any particular grudge against her), but by no means opposed in character or opinions. Yet she remains extremely blorbo-shaped in my mind.

There are other scraps, like ... Lady Catherine's chilly remark about daughters not being of much consequence to their fathers. What exactly was the dynamic between the late earl and Lady Anne and Lady Catherine? :\

And both sisters married into quite similar sort of families (not peers but influential old money grand landowners), which inclines me to think the Fitzwilliams were after something there rather than that they were grand romances. Lady Catherine seized control of her life and everyone else's in her vicinity. What did Lady Anne do? Who knows?

These are scraps from a very few offhand statements. Lady Anne is barely mentioned in P&P and we can only piece together a few scarce hints some time after her death (we have no idea how much time) while nearly everyone who knew her and the late Mr Darcy praises her personable, benevolent, kindly husband to the skies. And what little we know suggests IMO that she was ... a messy figure, let's say.

But honestly, I find him annoying and Lady Anne immensely lovable. I don't know!

[underdark-dreams]

Can you please talk about your writing! how you write and revise and where you get your inspiration you are just so amazing! I could use some tips to get my writing to the next level. maybe some fic recs you find inspiring as well? only if you want too.

I sat on this ask for a while to mull it over, so thanks for your patience! I can definitely talk about my general process and link some fics that have inspired me.

I've also answered some other asks about writing process and technique. You can read those here if you like:

Emotional and feelings-focused writing

Writing descriptively

Fic writing: general process

First, it's good to have your opening and your ending in mind before you start. Even if it's just:

OC walks into Sorcerous Sundries

Rolan and OC fall asleep together

If you have the bookends, it's a lot easier to find the story's beats in the middle. (Or decide that you can't find the path from A to B after all & need to change one of them around)

Once I have those two down, I usually write out the main beats of the story next. These will be the parts that excite you most as a writer!! Like, they make you giddy to write about! Getting these down on paper has ALWAYS given me a burst of momentum to get through the drier/connecting bits.

So I encourage you to write out the story events/scenes that make you most excited first. Exposition will come later! Don't worry about 'setting things up' right now, unless you really want to start there. Remember that your first draft only has to make sense to you.

Inspiration

Damn if I could bottle the answer to this one, I'd be set for life! lmao

A lot of people start writing first and find the inspiration along the way. It's a valid and effective method!

I usually wait for ideas to come to me first, and they usually come when I'm totally disconnected from my writing computer. I swear, my strongest ideas for a fic setup or interesting scene always come when I'm at work or vacuuming or some crap

Best advice I can give is to keep a notes app on your phone or something similar. Rotate your characters around in your mind while you're doing other random life things, and good ideas will usually come to you. Jot down the framework or some dialogue or whatever strikes you before you forget it, then revisit it when you have more time.

Revising and editing

I'm one of those writers who edits a ton as they go, instead of drafting out a story and revising in one go. So this part is kind of difficult for me to answer...the two processes are unfortunately so interconnected in my head!

The main thing is to make sure you give yourself a few days between writing and doing your final edit. Even if you've been revising along the way, taking some time away from your fic lets you gain a fresh perspective.

I will admit, I also keep thesaurus.com open in a tab at all times. Like. I am addicted to finding just the right word

As with all of the above, your mileage may vary! The right technique is the one that gets you writing and creating. 💯

Fic Recs

Here's a list from back in December! Still in love with all of these!

Also:

Deeply and Immovably So by Cometra / @dutifullylazybread - Absolutely required reading for any Rolan x Tav fans! Tav is AFAB/she/her. Darcy's worldbuilding and imagery is incredible, very deep and meaningful. Just all-around excellence!

verso by aes3plex - Zevlor x m!Tav oneshot. This story like...made me understand who Zevlor was as a character. I don't know how else to describe it. Really wonderful backstory threaded through a present-day encounter with some of the best prose ever. Love!

But I will admit, I grew up reading Trek fics, and those stories and writers have stayed with me longer than anything else. I think old fandom + huge universe + writers with sheer decades of experience in fanon have a lot to do with the quality of writing there. Not relevant to BG3 but has definitely shaped how I write today!

[sleepingdeath-light]

poly relationship hcs ; ember & wade

requested by ; anonymous (23/09/23)

fandom(s) ; elemental

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; ember lumen, wade ripple

outline ; “OMG YES ELEMENTAL! do you have any hcs for poly ember x reader x wade?”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

first things first: this relationship is going to be built on a shockingly strong foundation of fun, mutual support and adoration, and trust — with the three of you acting as each other’s biggest cheerleaders and always showing up to support each other in everything you do

wade is, of course, very emotional but he’s also the biggest supporter of you and ember — cheering you on with everything he’s got and making sure that you both have the means to pursue every hobby and whim and dream because he just loves seeing you both be happy and succeed

every table and shelf of your home together is adorned with ember’s artwork: your fanciest glass crockery was made by her, the stylised vase on your dining room table (filled with flowers gifted by wade’s mother) was her first formal project at the company, you still have her model vivisterium flower as a paperweight in the office, there are dozens of ornate sculptures of the three of you around the house (including a very adorable image of the three of you hugging that ember gifted to you and wade for your fifth anniversary), and so on — and every time a guest asks about them, you and wade are quick to jump in and brag about your girlfriend’s artistic genius (which embarrasses and endears ember in equal measure as she still prefers to take the humble approach to her talent)

you also have a few of wade’s uncle’s watercolours scattered around your walls, especially in the front room, which always leads to a lot of (happy) tears from that side of the family whenever they stop by to visit

as far as your new home outside of element city goes, relationships between multiple elements are still extremely rare to come by and the three of you tend to get a lot of distinct looks when you’re together — which your fiery girlfriend is always happy to rebuke (her temper has cooled a bit over the years, but it’s still definitely there and at its most apparent when someone tries to be rude or cruel to you or wade — she’s just very protective, that’s all)

whenever you and ember share a kiss, wade will cry because it’s just ‘so beautiful’ to see the people he loves loving each other — and, of course, he also gets a bit teary-eyed whenever either of you kiss him (which ember usually gives an endeared chuckle at because she just loves you both so much)

wade and ember are both very affectionate people and both have very different preferences when it comes to cuddling depending on who is involved: if its just you and wade, then he prefers to lay on his back with you resting on top of him so that he can wrap his arms around you and mess about with his watery body in order to make you laugh; wade and ember on their own prefer to spoon, with wade being the ‘big spoon’ most of the time as it’s much comfier for him and carries less of a risk of him being accidentally evaporated by ember when she drifts off to sleep; with you alone, ember quite enjoys cuddling on her side whilst facing you, with you either laying on your back or side whilst facing her, this also tends to be accompanied by hand holding and whispered pillow talk as the two of you chat about your days; the three of you together tend to rotate roles in this same position, with one of you being in the middle laying on your back (usually wade who is naturally a bit of a back sleeper and is the comfiest to lay your heads on) and the other two on either side cuddled up to them (ember has a preference towards the right side of the bed, closest to the window, but she’s really not that picky) — if you were able to, you’d always have wade in the centre, but for the sake of not accidentally evaporating your boyfriend (again) the three of you are forced to alternate positions

ember leaves early for her internship at the glass company, but she always makes sure to kiss you both goodbye — and all of her kisses, no matter how brief, are practically sizzling with passion, intensity, and love (the type that leave you breathless and leaning forwards after her once she pulls away)

wade, meanwhile, tends to lean into kisses that are sweeter, briefer, chaster and that leave you giggling and smiling so widely that your cheeks hurt — practically attacking your face with kisses all over (forehead, temples, eyelids, nose, cheeks, chin, and finally your lips before doing it all over again)

movie nights are your go-to whenever the three of you can’t seem to arrange time to have a proper date as a trio, and you alternate who chooses the film each time — wade is a sucker for romantic comedies (and always manages to find the ones that make you all cry), whilst ember prefers action films (which get all of you riled up and practically yelling at the television by the time the film reaches its climax)

though the three of you don’t always go out on dates as a trio — ember and wade go out to have fun together when you’re busy, you and wade have been known to go out and explore the city when ember is busy, and you and ember always go out to explore the local food places whenever wade is busy (there’s this one fire run place that sells authentic food from fire land that ember loves but its a bit too much for your poor boyfriend to handle so she only really goes with you or her parents when they visit)

if you’re not a fire elemental then ember is happy to teach both you and wade some useful (and fun) phrases in fireish to use amongst yourselves and with her family (which always earns you some bonus points with her father)

[notknickers]

in the last few days, i have been rotating the big austrian lad in my head relentlessly and, even though i may change my mind about some of these, or have mutually exclusive headcanons cohexist in different renditions of him, i feel like he is starting to take more deifinite shape in my mind. therefore, i want to write a list of my interpretation and share it, both for personal reference, since i'm juggling two different fics, and as modest contribution to fandom. i'll try to keep things coherent, but...

in spite of the misleading banner, which portrays a silly, cartoonish version of tentakönig i had a lot of fun doodling specially to embellish this post, the following is about human!könig, military contractor. that is just to give an idea of how much he has been bouncing in my skull as if my brain were a trampoline.

♛ he is between forty-two and forty-five years of age;

♛ his untreated social anxiety only increased during his military recruitment and gradually exacerbated into full-on PTSD during his career as contractor; he is afflicted by dissociative episodes, panic attacks and night terrors, as a consequence, which he keeps hidden at any and all cost and manages covertly, sometimes through questionable means;

♛ he is very quiet, pensive and observant. as such, he loathes using more words than he needs to and uses as little as he can, trying to avoid long conversations and small talk alike;

♛ his mask is the only remnant of his pre-military life. he clings to it as a reminder of his own humanity, of the person he used, for good or ill, to be and as acknowledgement of how far he has come from the scrawny, fearful lad he was, even when sometimes, he wishes he would have made different choices;

♛ under his mask, the features on his face are slightly uneven, such as one of his ears, which hangs at a slightly different angle than the other and his left cheekbone, still crooked from a past injury that healed poorly. he also has some deeper disfigurement, the scars of which still remain, less and less visible as time passes, and his lips are ruined. these are the consequence of both maltreatment and bullying during his childhood and adolescence, from both callous peers and neglectful parents, and of injuries incurred on the job. ironically, the worst are not from his military career, however. as such, he barely ever removes his mask, chiefly when alone or on leave.

♛ his hair is light in colour, kept cropped very short as it tends to grow quickly and get matted under his mask and helmet, but beyond the slightly receding hairline typical of men his age, he is nowhere near starting to bald; ♛ his eyes are grey. not blue, nor black. grey. sometimes lighter, sometimes darker, sometimes glittery and glassy, but always grey, according to his state and the light conditions;

♛ even though he is barely average in attractiveness and the presence of keloidal scar tissue, which often ranges from being off-putting to instilling repulsion in others, he is noticeable in size. some would find the mass of packed, rounded muscles in more than 2m rather interesting. however, given that very fact, he probably has or will soon start experiencing heart issues as he ages. realistically, he will probably die younger than his peers, in spite of being in top shape;

♛ his approach is practical and detached: if he's on a rescue mission, that's what he will focus on; what happens afterwards is none of his business, as long as his job is done and he gets recognition remuneration for it. if, on the other hand, civilians or competitors are a liability, he will not hesitate to take care of the situation in the most expedient way, the way that will not impair the status of his mission;

♛ this strong preference for detachment and pragmatism is not to say that he does not take pride in his skills, even though his job is nothing more than a means towards an end, or, well, more than one. namely, a paycheque to live comfortably and never fear poverty or food insecurity again; isolation from people or controlled interactions with predictable scripts, when necessary; the rules that apply, which are different from those of society at large, in which he always struggled and still struggles to fit in;

♛ when engaging the enemy, he is not reckless, but he is beastly and brutal. he displays a sort of controlled berserk mode. he has no particular respect for life and under those specific circumstances, allows himself to delight in carnage. he otherwise appears in control of himself, even though he spends as much time as he can alone, so others only know him so much;

♛ he is not beyond torture, even the disfiguring, excruciating kind, the kind that carries long-lasting, when not permanent effects on body and spirit alike. however, he merely sees it as a means towards an end. he is not the type to waste time threatening and warning: he thinks practical demonstrations are more eloquent that any word. as such, his methods tend more towards the crude, than the sophisticated, but they are equally effective in half the time;

♛ when on leave, he lives frugally and anonymously, barely leaving his abode unless necessary; he lives below his means as a matter of habit, a consequence of his childhood poverty, even when he could afford much, much more;

♛ his modest flat is a pigsty and he likes to leave it like that to break out of the stifling rules and expectations of his job. this is also reflected on his shabby sense of fashion: better to be a practical slob than an elegant buffoon who wastes his hard-earned money on impractical peacocking attires;

♛ whilst true that his height, build and scars attract stares in public, he has become very adept at shutting such rudeness down with one of his strategic, whithering looks. out of combat, he is just some bloke and that is all he cares to be until he is called back from leave;

♛ he compartmentalises a lot his civilian persona from his military persona and, even within his military persona, there are more subdivisions to be found (coold-headed, reserved, collected and calculating vs murderous, bloody and savage in conflict.) to be clear, he is not ashamed of what he does for a living, but his profession also requires a lot of discretion on his part, which makes the compartmentalising already so natural to him an external necessity;

♛ he's a smoker and a drinker: as long as he still performs well on the field, he has no interest in denying himself the scant pleasures only vice can offer;

tentakönig rolled and bounced all the way down here to say: "if you do not wish to find out what i'm like sexually and romantically, do yourself a favour and do not read below. proceed at leisure, otherwise."

🗡 perhaps not every single time, but more often than not, he cries when he comes;

🗡 i get submissive vibes, with a dash of unpredictability. for now, let's say that, with his lovers, occasional and less so, he knows how to be both rough and rash or gentle and devoted. sometimes, even within the same session, all depending on mood and circumstances.

🗡 i'm toying with the idea of him having a specific type of mummy kink, the kind expressed by seeking the gentle, comforting touch of a willing-enough woman who he will address as mummy, in german, only to end up weeping on her tits as he greedily sucks on them... i may have already begun writing a fic along this lines... >.> i did and more are coming. this is both a promise and a threat.

🗡 when he gets desperate and/or fuckdrunk during his sexual encounters, he starts muttering nonsense in austrian german, incapable of focussing his brain enough to maintain some coherency; it's very endearing to see him lose control like that. if the sex in question is happening with a very lucky woman (lucky according to whom?!) who he trusts enough to be that vulnerable, besides giving in to his native tongue, he will probably also cry, as mentioned above;

🗡 when on leave, he occasionally pays for sex when he can't (or won't bother to) find anything on his own, or when he has something particular in mind and prefers to put himself in the hands of a professional;

🗡 even though he does not consider himself queer, when mercenary sex isn't in the cards, he frequents local gay clubs. as a tall, athletic, middle-aged and moderately hairy man, it is hardly challenging for him to find a willing man to fuck in the face or the arse, even though he never reciprocates;

🗡 though more or less settled in his reality full of idiosyncrasies and resigned to it, he occasionally allows himself to wander off his established path to seek companionship outside of the above-mentioned methods. he knows he could hardly stand a regular life with wife, children, pets and a less dangerous job. yet, there is a part of him still curious, which would like to discover whether he could get what everyone else allegedly seems to want, what he feels he should want but is not sure he actually does. as such, he occasionally tries and manages to establish a relationship in between deployments, but it often collapses or remains in the early stages. the older he gets, the harder he finds to make them happen, especially when he is very much not everyone's cup of tea;

🗡 nevertheless, i believe he would appreciate to know what it's like to see himself through the eyes of someone genuinely infatuated with him and not see them recoil in disgust or reflect back the image of the mindless killing machine with little depth left he considers himself to have become;

may add more in future. apologies for any potential mistake: it's very late and i don't have time to reread everything. thanks for reading.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Sky Full of Stars - Chapter Twelve.

A huge thank you to my regular readers and reviewers for your dedication to this story, you make it all worth it. In a tiny fandom where most people don't have the inclining to read a series and prefer the x reader insert, you are such a blessing. Especially since I seem to have lost a few readers along the way, too. I am extra thankful to you because of this :)

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 3,640

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

It tumbled over her bones, the gleaming little shocks of pleasure that continually flowed golden, her hands grasping the bed covers as she moaned softly. Her back arched up, the press of his big hands rooting her back to the mattress, tongue working a hard, then softly pressed circle over her clit. She’d never tire of it, the feeling of his mouth between her legs. 

“You’ve got such a pretty little pussy, honey.” 

Or that, hearing his intimate praise, his fingers rubbing through her folds as he paused to let his eyes fall to her wet, puffy sex, holding her spread before his tongue pushed a long, flat lick against her, groaning low. He knew she was ascending rapidly, backing off the contact a little, delivering kisses and licks steeped in a gentler heat before he moved to kneel, rubbing his cock through the dripping mess of her pink, rooting himself deeply with a soft grunt.  

He gave her a few thrusts before retreating, head lowering between her slender thighs once again, her clit licked with a rapid flicker of his tongue until she cried out, almost there, but not quite inching over into the realms of nirvana. Again, she was given his cock, hand clasping her jaw as he fed her his thumb, sinking in so deep, her eyes virtually crossed before once again, he moved to connect his mouth with her folds instead.  

God, he was too good. 

Pleasure danced in enchantment over her nerves, little darts flickering through her blood, split wide again by the shunt of his cock. This time, though, he didn’t retreat.  

The coil of pleasure winding through her was intensified by the feel of his cock cutting through her wetness without relent, spearing her deeply, her body keening as he drove into her with force. The veracity of his fuck claimed her entirely, hips rocking into each of his thrusts, hooking her arms beneath her legs and drawing them up a little, allowing him to sink in even deeper. 

He felt thick and hot within her fluttering core, her cunt tingling for him as he began to fuck her with merciless delivery, pounding her wet centre, dragging heat from her. All that was hurried and urgent then abated as he slowed, a slight rotation of his hips shifting his weight a little further, bearing down into her core and making sparks ignite. 

That action coaxed a string of expletives from her, walls clenching around him furiously, bathing his cock in a shiny slick as he thrusted so deeply and precisely, he had her howling as glimmers surged up her spine. 

“That’s it, baby. Mmm, fuck yeah. Let me hear those moans.” He murmured after leaning to offer kisses of sugared embers, taking her legs and resting them over his shoulders. He poured pleasure into her, igniting to her bones, the pace becoming uncontained once more. 

And this man was her husband. She was now married to the best sex of her life. Content didn’t quite cut it. 

She felt as if he was attempting to go through her with the voracity of each thrust, her body lighting up like a beacon until suddenly, the light completely illuminated, white hot and charging, striking each nerve ending and reducing her to a quivering wreck. 

The pace slowed, Adrien enjoying the beauty of her walls flexing around him, wet heat contracting against his girth, his hand moving between her legs to rub upon her clit with his thumb while speeding back up again a little. Those dual sensations were intensity unmatched, his cock stroking her insides so deftly while his thumb evoked waves of warmth to emanate, making her so dizzy and high on pleasure, she soared through constellations.  

His hips smacked against her body, pounding her wetness with primal need once more, her moans disturbing the still silence of the afternoon only fettered slightly when he reached to hold her throat gently, fingers flexing as he viewed her with an intense, yet loving stare, winking and leaning to assail her mouth with his. 

Her body was pushed to pulse and judder once more, the ebb and flow of sexual energy relentlessly flowing, a hum of utter erotic divinity between them both doing nothing but gaining momentum, their groans filling the air. With the white iron of the ornate bedframe beginning to clatter furiously against the wall, the pursuit of climax was zealously undertaken, both chasing their releases with illimitable determination, until they shattered at the same time. A rarity, but an intense one nonetheless. 

They stayed in bed enjoying one another and snoozing into the early evening, Adrien having the kind of dream that made him wake with a start, and hilariously give his wife some ammunition in the nickname game. 

“Nggh, there’s bugs!”  

Sitting bolt upright, he swatted at his face and chest, still not really with it, turning to watch her gently shaking with laughter. “Stop it.” 

Oh, how she blew. Like a volcano made out of giggles, she exploded, reaching for him. “What the hell were you dreaming about?” 

“Being covered in fucking bugs! Damn, it was horrible!” 

She couldn’t help her hysterics. “And now you have a nickname. Bug. That’s it. I’m calling it.” 

“Fuck you,” he groaned, flopping down onto his back again, still feeling itchy. 

Turning onto her front, she kissed his chest, tongue flickering over his nipple. “Don’t be like that, Bug. I say it with love.” 

All strange dreams aside, they got up not long after, dressing in casual clothes, deciding to stay at home and order food in. Both being reasonably introverted, they truly did enjoy staying in most of all, but did head out a few times over the days to come. One thing Adrien really enjoyed about being there was the fact that the general public weren’t quite so intrusive as they were back home. 

Mostly, people left them alone. In England, there seemed to be way less of a feeling of entitlement towards famous people. Take one of the nights they found themselves at the Black Horse pub in Fulmer, for instance. If those discreetly gawping were noticed by the couple, they would instantly apologise for staring, politely saying hello and asking how they were. A couple of younger people asked them for pictures, too, the pair happily obliging. 

“Oh my god, oh my god you’re not scary at all!” one young fan gushed as Jade gave her a big hug, delighted to be meeting her idol. “You’re so nice, aww!”  

“That’s very sweet of you, darling,” she cooed, “you have a lovely night with your friends.” If only everyone could be as nice as the village locals. Later that night, with Adrien asleep upstairs, she found herself wide awake and sitting in the small living area in the kitchen at her laptop. Being a self-professed night owl, she often stayed up until the wee hours getting work done, answering the barrage of emails she received, or as she was that night, tapping away with ideas for lyrics.  

It was while she was flitting between screens that she suddenly got the urge to have a little nose into what the press were saying regarding her marriage, typing her name into Google.  

“Bloody hell.” The results pinged back in seconds, just about every major tabloid and gossip site the world over running stories about her whirlwind romance. It surprised her that most were quite complimentary in the language they used to write the articles, but some, mainly the trashier publications, well, the scorn was clear. The comment sections? Even worse. 

“It’s a PR relationship, blatantly! Give it a year and they’ll be divorced.” 

“She’s only using him for his fame so she can get ahead in the acting world.” 

“Ugh, she’s so fucking skinny and gross, with her stupid, massive rubber lips. What does he see in that mess?” 

“Publicity stunt!!! He hasn’t made a notable movie since The Pianist and she’s just a user slut.” 

“Who fucking cares about these nobodies!” 

“OMG this is wild. I give it four months!” 

“Yeah, they won’t last.” 

God, people could be so mean. The negativity was tempered with a few nicer comments, though. 

“They look so cute together!” 

“Really wishing them the very best. After what that poor woman went through with her ex, she deserves happiness.” 

“They’re both so impossibly pretty. Is there a list I can add my name to for them to take me in as their sex slave? I WANT THAT SO BAD!” 

She laughed loudly at the last one, imagining Adrien’s reaction to such a statement. The next she read wasn’t quite so complimentary, though. 

“He’s just tanked his public image, hooking up with that tramp. I met her at an aftershow party in Birmingham back in 2003. Absolutely out of her head drunk and high on coke, coming onto anything with a cock. Fucking disgrace. She shagged my mate and then tried it on with me. I said no. Didn’t want to risk the STI’s.” 

“Well, you’re certainly full of shit.” she snorted. She remembered the very aftershow party in question, one she’d been stone cold sober for on account of taking a course of antibiotics and painkillers after her ill-fated nipple piercing had gone septic, meaning of course she wasn’t even drinking, let alone huffing blow.  

She also didn’t make a habit of having sex with fans. A few over the years, yes, but it wasn’t a regular thing, Jade much preferring relationships, or bona fide hookups she knew wouldn’t go blabbing to the press.  

While on tour with Korn, for example, she and their guitarist, Brian “Head” Welch had enjoyed one another for months on a very casual basis, and remained good friends to that day. She laughed then, remembering that it was Head himself she’d gone off with after the Birmingham aftershow to have sex with, and certainly nobody else.  

Continuing her little scour of articles, she then came to one that made her heart jump, the title making her mouth go dry. ‘How to kill your career in one easy step: Marry a rockstar.’ Clicking on the link, she began to read the scathing diatribe penned by a journalist named Penny Rutherford, which was in essence a complete character assassination. 

She winced and frowned while reading the lambasting words that summed her up as little more than a wild musician with a haughty temperament, who had only ever gotten anywhere because she was pretty, and happened to be a novelty, being in an all-girl band who played blistering metal. Her acting opportunities, she surmised, must have been from opening her legs to the right casting agents.  

She also made reference to her past relationships, her shortly lived dalliances with guys like Scott Weiland and Tommy Lee, which was partly incorrect. She had never dated Tommy, the pair just friends, but she had been with Scott for eight months over a decade ago, thusly scrutinising her intentions by marrying a man so far removed from ‘the booze fuelled, narcotic bolstered, trashy men of rock and roll’, as Penny had worded them.  

“If Adrien Brody has the sense to think with his head instead of what I sense he is currently making his decisions with, he’ll get out of this sooner rather than later, lest his public image be tarnished beyond repair. Being married to a drug-addled miscreant will serve for nothing other than lowering him to the same dirty gutter she resides within.” 

Penny’s closing line to her venomous piece didn’t sit well with Jade at all, her jaw clenching at such an overwhelming display of audacity. Not only because it was incorrect in its assumption of her being drug-addled and gutter dwelling (Lakeside and Stone Barn Castle were the fanciest gutters in the world by that logic) but because of the angle she’d so far not even contemplated.  

Never once had she considered that the often-skewed image the public had of her could ever impact her new husband and his career. Not until that very moment. True, it was the mere opinion of one journalist, this much was true, but she knew well how negativity had the tendency to snowball. 

What if his career was hurt, because of his marriage to her? It would be all her fault, simply for falling in love with him. It was at that moment she saw it clearly, the path her racing mind was attempting to lead her down, closing the browser window, saving her writing work and shutting the laptop. No. She wouldn’t let that happen, and so instead of sitting up and stewing on it before inevitably shouldering the blame for Penny Rutherford’s cruel assertions, she returned to her husband’s side instead. 

Curling up, she felt him turn, wrapping an arm around her waist. She would tell him about the article, feeling proud that she was making changes already on how she handled things that hurt her, rather than internalising. When she saw the look on his face the following morning after he’d read it for himself, though, she almost wished she hadn’t.  

Opening another window, he logged into his own email account, choosing a certain address from his list of contacts, Jade placing down a vegetable omelette and toast to his side, kissing his arm. “What are you doing, Bug?”  

“Contacting my lawyer,” he spoke, not looking away from the screen, his body rigid with irritation. 

She sighed, closing her eyes tightly, rubbing her hand over his back in an effort to soothe him. “Oh, Adrien. Please don’t.” 

He scoffed lightly, clicking back to the article, beginning to highlight certain parts as he rapidly copied and pasted them. “That right there? Slander. This here? Libel. This? Defamation.” And so he went on, picking bits out of the article he took particular objection to.  

Turning to her, he grasped her waist, placing a kiss between her breasts where her silky robe had slightly fallen open. She’d never seen him look so pissed off. “They’re getting a cease and desist. I want that article taken down or the bitch who wrote it and the publication she works for are being hit with a lawsuit. Nobody fucking talks about my wife like that.”  

Honestly, she wanted to forget about it, hoping it would go away despite her own fears that such could snowball. It was then that she realised he was right; nobody should get away with making such damaging remarks about someone. Her own career could potentially become besmirched too, not that she’d given that a lick of thought, her concern for Adrien prevailing.  

“I love you,” she spoke, stroking his face and placing a kiss upon his forehead. 

“And I love you, Moo. There isn’t a single thing I won’t protect you from when I can, against people who don’t even know the first thing about you.” What a loving protector she’d found in him, Jade grateful beyond words for a husband who truly had her back to such an extent. 

By the time they’d arrived in Paris, the article had been taken down, and the publication had even issued a statement in apology to them for any hurt the journalist may have caused. It was amazing, what threatening somebody with legal action could swiftly achieve. Still, it didn’t stop people from gossiping, Jade finding it difficult to cope with, especially when they parted ways three days after arriving back in New York.  

Without him at her side while she faced a torrent of online abuse and people poking their noses into her marriage, she felt a little vulnerable, especially since she wouldn’t see him again for a month and a half, until she’d get only two days with him before she was off again on another project. While she was grateful for the fact her acting career was taking off, a part of her wished she hadn’t been so keen to sign onto so many projects, the new wife in her craving to spend time at her husband’s side. 

Such a stance felt alien to her, too, always tackling her career with such a tenacious approach. Luckily for her, while up in Montreal, she had a very reliable soundboard to unload to, one who had driven up from her home in Vermont to spend a little time north of the border with her friend. 

“Oh, baby don’t be so silly,” Charlotte spoke softly as they enjoyed dinner together on Jade’s two-day break from filming, reaching to stroke her hand lovingly. “You’ve found the love of your life. It doesn’t make you less of a woman for wanting to put your marriage first.” 

“I know, I do know that underneath, darling. It’s just...” She gesticulated a little with her cutlery, sighing. Her widened eyes and agape mouth were read very clearly by the raven-haired woman sitting across from her. 

“It’s different for us as women. If we step off the machine for even a second, we fear it’ll be impossible to climb back aboard. Not that you can, though, now you’ve signed on.” She was so correct in what she’d said, Jade nodding vigorously as she continued. “God, I feel for you. I’m so lucky that my job revolves around getting to be with my girlfriend. Well, it’s a blessing and a curse. If we get mad at one another, there’s nowhere to escape with enough significant distance while on a bus or in a studio. Imagine, though, how precious that time will be, once you do actually get to be with Adrien. It isn’t going to be forever either.” 

It was true, she supposed. Absence made the heart grow fonder, as they old saying went. “Just most of the time, all the while with people who don’t even know us having their say.” 

Charlotte rolled her eyes. “Yeah, Katie’s been going wild about some of the comments. I’ve had to drag her away from her phone and stop her from creating accounts to argue with them. You know how she is.” Indeed, she did. Katie was the fiercest of the five by far. “It must be so tough, to have people casting aspersions, and so negatively in some cases, too. I really want you to know I’m here for you, though. If it gets tough, just call me anytime for a little rant.” 

Jade was thankful for her in that moment, Charlotte’s advice as grounding as ever, her nature so sweet and understanding. One thing she did find very helpful was the fact that no matter what anybody said about her and her husband, the man himself always spoke so glowingly about her. While he preferred not to be questioned too heavily into his private life, he was fine speaking about her briefly of his own volition. 

“I have to say, my wife is a constant source of pride and admiration. She rose to the top of her game in a very male-dominated musical genre, but yet she’s always remained humble about it, so down to earth. The way she fits so much into her time as well, she’s truly remarkable, and I consider myself a very lucky man to be married to such a strong, talented, funny and thoroughly lovely woman.” 

She read those words on the first anniversary of their meet, while sitting to the side of the set she was working on, having a small guest role in longstanding TV series, Supernatural, playing a demon hunted down and eventually slain by the Winchester brother’s. A year. A whole year of having him in her life, going from a random man whose face she’d screamed in to being her adoring husband. How the hell she’d gotten so lucky, she didn’t know. She never took it for granted, though. Not even for a second.  

And neither did he. 

Upon returning to her trailer at just coming up to midnight, ready to head back to her little rental home she was staying in for the duration of the filming up there in Vancouver, she got the shock of her life.  

“What the hell?” she cried, hands flying to her mouth at seeing Adrien sitting there. 

He got up, pulling her into his arms, placing a kiss atop her head. “There’s no way I was going to let us be apart on the anniversary of the day we first met. No way at all.”  

“But how?” she exclaimed, looking up at him, receiving a big kiss. 

“Jetlagged the shit out of myself. I’m seriously so tired, I fell asleep in the cab twice from the airport to here.” He’d been on a long publicity tour for Wrecked, his newest movie, Jade absolutely bowled over that he’d travelled across two continents to be with her. “I’ll stay here for a couple of days and then get back home. Gives me four days then to make sure the house is in good order before you arrive. Apparently, we almost have a lounge.” 

Her eyes lit up. “We do? Oh, wow!” Not that they’d see much of it, Adrien busy with publicity until mid-December, and Jade working on various projects until late November. Being together right at that moment was good enough, though, even if all they did was get into her car, head back to the rental bungalow, and fall asleep two minutes after they climbed into bed together. 

Sometimes, that was all a person needed, the simple joy of having their love right there next to them as they slept. Charlotte had been right; those moments became so precious to them, no matter how few or far between. Or what the media or general public had to offer in commentary over their marriage.  

In that bed, it was just them. Happy and comfortable. No harsh words could come close to affecting a bond like theirs. And they never would.  

[siren-meets]

Your Braids Like a Pattern (BoB OFC One-Shot)

Nora Price doesn’t want to admit that her deteriorating hair in the Ardennes is bothering her. Luz and the boys offer some much-needed TLC.

Word count: 1820

Warnings: None! Platonic unless you squint ;)

A/N: My best friend finally joined the BoB fandom, and she dragged me back with her head-first. Thanks @indigo-graves! Check out her writing, too!

Nora knew that her hair was ruined. She knew it when her French braid had turned into an indiscernible mass of frizz. She knew it when the braid got wet and shrank into a sopping bird’s nest, which then turned into a dry and brittle bird’s nest. She knew it when Luz and Lipton’s eyes flitted upwards whenever she took her helmet off.

Lipton had tried to say something— in his own way. Take care of yourself. Why don’t you visit Nixon and Winters’ tent? They’ve got more amenities over there.

He and Luz— her foxhole mates— had been whispering about her for days now, and she had a feeling it wasn’t just about her hair. She had been brushing off the men’s concerns left and right. She was sleeping in a foxhole. She’d be damned if she was the one worried about her hair. She was fine.

Then, the wrong man had made the wrong comment on the wrong day.

It was midday, and the men had all congregated near a low fire where Malarkey had whipped up a pot of beans to distribute for lunch. Nora had spent the day making house calls to different foxholes to check that the men were changing and airing out their socks in a rotation that would prevent trench foot.

“Here, Nora,” Guarnere greeted, handing her the tin cup of beans that he had just received from Malarkey. She nodded her thanks as he grabbed another for himself. Babe came up next to her, a pair of socks slung over his shoulder.

“I can’t tell if these are drying or just freezing,” he said, gesturing to the socks.

“As long as they aren’t on your feet…” Nora murmured around a mouthful of beans. “You could get them away from my food though.”

She said it with a tired but teasing tone, taking a step away from the younger man, and he scoffed. “Yeah, better step back anyway— I wouldn’t want your hair to start eating me.”

Nora’s posture tensed as she became suddenly very aware of herself. The men nearest them had gone quiet, noticing the change in her demeanor, and after taking a few more bites of her beans, she handed the tin cup off to Malarkey.

“I’ll be in my foxhole if anyone needs me — gonna try and catch some shut-eye in case there’s any shelling tonight.”

She excused herself and Luz, who had been happily chatting with Muck and Penkala, groaned.

“Jesus, Babe!” He griped. “You had to bring up the hair?”

“What?” Babe said, his eyes wide as he looked around at the disapproving faces of his companions. “She ribbed me, and I ribbed her back.”

He was met with a chorus of chiding from the other men as Luz went after Nora.

When Luz arrived at the foxhole, Nora was attempting to yank a comb through her matted locks.

“Woah, easy there,” he said, dropping into the hole next to her. She grunted with frustration as she tried to remove the lodged comb; her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

“Hey, Babe didn’t mean anything by that, you know,” he said, grimacing as he watched her.

“I know,” she said between greeted teeth. “I don’t care. It’s just hair.”

“Yeah,” Luz agreed, despite the fact that she very clearly did care.

She struggled with the mess for another minute before finally freeing the comb and taking in its broken teeth. Her face began to crumple, and Luz tensed.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna have to cut it all off,” she said. Her voice had the tiniest waver to it, though he knew she was trying her hardest to hide it.

“What?” He scoffed. “You’re crazy! No one’s cutting it off.”

He gestured for her to turn her back to him, and he got on his knees behind her, assessing the damage. He was glad she couldn’t see his face. He prodded at it a bit. “This is—yeah, we can work with this.”

He held a beckoning hand over her shoulder, and she reluctantly surrendered the comb to him. “You think so?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Luz said as he started picking at the mass with the comb’s remaining teeth. “We’ll get you sorted.”

“Thanks,” Nora replied, and he felt a pang in his chest when her voice came out small. “I know it’s stupid…”

“It’s not stupid,” said Luz. “What’s stupid is this comb.”

The two were quiet for a long while as Luz worked through the knots. He hoped he wasn’t doing more damage than help.

“Maybe I should just cut it off,” Nora whispered. “Braiding it to keep it out of the way is what got me into this mess.”

“Nope,” said Luz. “I promised that not a hair on your head would be harmed on my watch, and that includes…well, your hair.”

Nora laughed and sniffled. Her shoulders had relaxed considerably since he started. “How’s it going back there?”

Luz sat back on his heels to survey his work. “I think we’re gonna have to take it in stages.”

Three hours later, they were starting to see some progress, but not nearly as much as Luz had led Nora to hope. When his arms grew tired, Lipton, who had returned to the foxhole, took a shift with the new comb he had sourced.

Nora’s scalp was starting to feel tender, and she made a point not to look at the comb to make note of how much hair was coming out.

“It’s only because your hair’s so thick,” Luz assured her. “That’s a good thing.”

Nora winced as he pulled as a particularly difficult tangle at the top of the matted section. Joe Toye, who was passing by their foxhole on the way to watch the line with his rifle slung over his shoulder, made eye contact and tipped his chin in acknowledgement. Nora waved, cringing when she felt a particularly taut hair release from her scalp.

Toye slowed, lingering near the hole for a few moments wordlessly as he watched Luz work.

“Everything okay?” Nora asked, wondering if he needed medical attention. He glanced in the direction of the front line and back as if debating with himself. His tongue was pushed into his cheek in that perpetual expression of frustration he wore.

“Luz, the Germans would be gentler than that,” He groused.

“Hey, what do you want from me?” Luz said between clenched teeth as he placed the comb in his mouth and attempted to work the knot between his fingers instead. “I’m tryin’ here.”

“You gotta start at the bottom,” Toye said. Luz’s movements paused as he processed the instruction.

“Brush up?” He said. “How does that make sense, Joe?”

“No, you gotta—” Toye growled, glancing around before taking his rifle off his shoulder and propping it in the side of the foxhole. “Move over.”

Luz ceded to the man, moving to sit on the edge of the foxhole. Toye knelt behind Nora and took the comb from Luz with a glare. He started at the bottom of the matted section, picking at it in short, downward movements. “You still comb down, you just do it like this and work your way up.”

The relief was almost instantaneous, though Nora didn’t say anything out of respect for the comfort Luz had been trying to offer. Toye continued to work gently at her hair, and when Lipton returned to the foxhole to see that progress was finally being made, he offered to take Toye’s spot on the line while he worked.

After Nora’s original panic had passed, she continued to feel self-conscious about the attention that was being paid to her problem. She had dreaded the other men teasing her friends for “doing her hair,” even in good fun, but the company seemed to be united in sympathy for her struggle. That, and she suspected Toye’s eyes were daring them to say something.

Even Nixon and Winters came in to check on their progress when they heard about the effort. Nixon crouched in front of Nora and pulled out a bottle of hair tonic. “I don’t know if it’ll help with the detangling, but it should help with some of the damage.”

She thanked the Captain profusely as Luz took the bottle and began dousing her hair in it. Toye and Luz bickered over her head about the best way to distribute it into the matted section. When Toye needed to head back to the line, Luz took up his post again with a much gentler touch now that he had been shown some technique. Toye had uncomfortably brushed off her heartfelt thanks, and she made a mental note to source a pack of cigarettes for him instead.

It wasn’t long before Babe came along with his tail tucked between his legs. “Hey, Nora,” He said with a nervous chuckle. “Lookin’ good!”

“Relax, Heffron,” she said. “I’m not mad.”

His relief was palpable. “Oh, phew! Cause, you know I didn’t mean it. I was just razzing you.”

“I know,” said Nora.

“If you’re really sorry, why don’t you grab a comb,” Luz said, gesturing to the extra that Lipton had left laying on his pack. Babe did just that, plopping down next to Luz. The three of them chatted and laughed as the two men continued to chisel away at the loosening mass, and Nora, for the first time in weeks, felt more like herself.

After eight hours and several rotating shifts, Luz shoved at Nora’s back. Nora, who had been drifting to sleep sitting up, pitched forward and turned to look at him. “What? Shelling?”

“No, not shelling,” Luz said, smiling. “Watch this.”

He pulled her closer again and placed his comb at the crown of her head, dragging it from root to tip with no resistance. His face was open and anticipatory as he watched for her reaction.

Nora reached back to run her hand over the hair, gasping at how silky it felt. She had anticipated much worse for the end result. She laughed, her eyes tearing up with unshed tears of relief. “Luz, you’re my hero.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he said, waving a dismissive hand despite the proud glow on his face.

“I’m serious,” she said, refusing to let him brush this off. “I don’t know what I would do out here without you.”

“Yeah, well,” he said, swallowing. He glanced again at her hair, which she had now pulled over her shoulder to run her fingers through, and then back at her face. She could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to say something serious, but true to his nature, he landed on a joke instead. “Want me to braid it for you now?”

She shoved his shoulders, fighting a smile as she watched him throw his head back in laughter. “Alright, too soon. How about you just leave that down? It’s cold out here.”