#it should NOT be this hard to find entirely depressing songs that dont end in suicide | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

#i love all of you guys so much thanks for all these asks #some of these are literally from march but fuck it #the day tumblr puts dates next to anon messages is the day i close my inbox crawl into a hole and die #it's such a basic task to answer asks but i don't want to bother anyone with asks clogging up their timeline #and if i don't have a funny or good answer i'm like 'uhh okay won't answer it now then'#so this is for you #also i deleted a few asks because it gives me mental pain to see my inbox go over 50 and it's almost at 100 #i was complaining about having too many asks to the-real-peter-parker like months ago and then i had 45 asks in my inbox #now it's amassed to going over 100 twice #but no i love all of you and you're great and you're all fantastic and i lvoe you #muchos kiss kiss #kiss kiss for my kiddies lvoe you #invincible spoilers #dc #dcu #dc comics #ask #anon #bataranswers #i really wanna try aguapanela now i'm gonna see if i can find panela somewhere and review it for you babes #uh yeah that's it #muchos gracias for all your questions babes

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gale-gentlepenguin · 4 years

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ML AU: In Another Life: NY Special

(So a few things to note, Since this takes place after the events of this version of the season 3 Finale, there are a few key differences. Fu still being guardian is one of them)

-Gabriel finds himself on the back foot, without a fixed peacock miraculous, he needs something to boost his advantage over the teens. And at the rate Nathalie has been going, he might lose her as well.

-While desperately searching the book, he caught notice of the eagle miraculous, it looked very familiar. (He comes up with his plan to go to New York to get that miraculous), well thats how he realizes his plan that is in canon. But this version is clearly more desperate. He needs to know what it can do and how to use it.

-Marinette’s class kicks but with their sock puppet show and pretty much the set up for how the class is going to America is the same. Including Miss Bustier’s reason for not going.

-Adrien is bummed because there is no way he would be able to go on the trip, not with how strict his father is. Lila tries to cheer him up, saying she couldnt go either (cause in canon reason is the same)

-Marinette states that she will try talking to Adrien’s father, she seems to have a slightly higher opinion of her, its worth a shot. “Afterall, your our sock washington.” She says with a flirty smile.

-Adrien has heart eyes over his cute girlfriend.

-Marinette and company go ready to convince Gabriel to let adrien go.

-Marinette gives a convoluted speech similar to canon, but minus the extra bits of friendship.

-Gabriel complies, saying that she convinced him.

-Marinette is over the moon and immediately texts her boyfriend who is at fencing practice the good news

-Adrien gets his butt kicked by kagami just like in canon.

-Kagami tries cheering him up by saying they could use this time to practice and she can help beat the sad out of him if he wants.

-He checks his phone and is excited. He can go on the trip!

-He tells Kagami the good news, she congratulates him. But comments she will be bored without him here to fence.

_____________________________________________________________________

-Marinette Calls Fu and tells him about her trip to New york, and that her whole class is going.

-”Your entire class?”

-”Yes, even Adrien. Can you believe it? His father never lets him go.” She is over the moon.

-Fu notes to remember that.

-”Well dont worry about Paris. If anything happens, I will be sure to alert you and Chat noir. You will have the horse miraculous on your person.”

-”I am sure Chat noir will be able to handle things here. I will let him know I am leaving. You could use a break.”

-Fu remembers that Ladybug doesnt know that Adrien, her boyfriend, is actually Chat noir.

-”I will tell Chat noir about the departure. You enjoy your trip.”

-”Alright, if you are sure.”

___________________________________________________________________

-Fu decides to meet with chat noir.

-Fu contacts Adrien to meet him at a rooftop.

-”Ladybug wont be in paris?” Chat noir was shocked. (He was so happy to be leaving for the US with his friends and Girlfriend, he actually forgot that Ladybug is marinette and that means she wont be in Paris. And that HE wont be in paris.”

-”Right, and I have a feeling you wont be in Paris either. Your class is having a trip.”

-Adrien doesnt bother asking how he knows that. He assumes Marinette told him.

-”Wait, If Ladybug or I are not in paris...”

-”Dont worry, i will alert you both should anything happen. Ladybug has the horse miraculous on her. If she is close by, she can give you a ride, if not. Your astro form should be able to fly you back to Paris fast enough to get there.”

-Chat noir nods. He cant say he knows she will be close by. But he does know.

-Ladybug doesnt contact Chat noir about the trip, because there is no need to burden him over it.

______________________________________________________________________

-Marinette isnt late, because Adrien had G come pick her up with him.

- So they have some cute handholding as Marinette excitedly talks about going to new york.

-Once they get on the Plane, Marinette and Adrien sit next to each other. So we get Startrain 2.0. With them sleeping on the other, and being cute. No musical plane tickets.

-Alya and Nino are happy for the two of them, commenting that they are still so innocent. But they have no plans on pushing them

-Marinette and Adrien both end up needing to get up and they catch the sunset together. Cue cute almost kiss. But then Techno pirate ruins it.

-The United heroes step in to handle things just like in canon. Marinette and Adrien both internally relieved that they can relax and let other heroes handle things.

-The two enjoy a nice flight to the states

_______________________________________________________________________

-Fu may have called Marianne to help him keep an eye out in the city. She was happy to have an excuse to see fu. It was like a date for them.

-Meanwhile, Marinette and class arrive at the hotel. Aeon comments that Adrien and Marinette are perfect for eachother. Jess doesnt care.

-Chloé isnt depressed as she was in canon, so she isnt dismissive of Sabrina having fun with an american boy. In fact, she decides that she would be more positive. Trying to be the heroine ladybug said she could be. Though... being nice is hard. Alix comments that she looks constipated

-Sabrina is so happy that Chloé is supportive of her. It was a surprise change.

-Chloé was still not thrilled about rooming with Alya and Marinette. But says its fine. Alya is kind of creeped out by Chloé's more ‘Friendly’ attitude. Marinette says that they should still encourage it.

-The class sneaks out to go to the roof party. Marinette and Adrien end up in Aeon and Jess room.

-”Im marinette and this is Adrien.” “Im her boyfriend”

-Aeon is VERY happy to hear that. Jess is indifferent, but helps them both get to the roof.

-The class has fun and Hotdog dan arrives with his magical dogs of hotness.

-Marinette and Adrien have no trouble sharing the hot dog. Alya still a pro wing woman, totally gets Jess to play the song.

-Marinette is 100% down with dancing. Commenting that she remembers that dance.

-Adrien thanking Marinette for convincing his dad, and that she is so amazing. She is practically melting.

-”You’re the perfect girlfriend.”

-Marinette happy giggling and telling him he is such a cute dork.

-Yes there is a kiss under the moonlight.

______________________________________________________________________

-Next day, the class is at the museum. Aeon knows Jess ships it too, cause she admits they are adorable. There is no need for an elaborate plan, so they dont have the class do the thing.

-Gabriel sets his plan into motion.

-Fu see’s robustus and texts Marinette. Allowing her to move. Adrien notices her sudden rush and figures there is trouble.

-Ladybug transforms in private and uses unify with the horse miraculous to make a portal to paris. Chat noir calls out to her. Which surprises her.

-”Wait, why are you in new york?”

-”Its cool, I cleared it with Fu before I left.”

-Ladybug sorta does the same thing she did in startrain and just rolls with it, just commenting how lucky he is that they were both near eachother, and that if he is leaving paris, he should tell her. Chat noir agrees.

-They get to Paris and start fighting Robustus, who they realize shouldnt be here, because Markov is in New york.

-Meanwhile, Technolizer, takes the sword and Sparrow and Uncanny Valley hear the commotion. They dont see Ladybug and Chat noir being independent, so they dont try to strike out on their own, they do the responsible thing and call for back up, Then try to fight him.

-Ladybug and Chat noir are in Paris fighting Robustus, and trying to find his weakness. But after a bit, Robustus just vanishes. Confusing the two. ladybug uses her Lucky charm to fix the damage, and then they get a portal to head back. Ladybug and Chat noir head back. Ladybug is mad suspicious over the sudden monster that seemed like all for nothing.

-Ladybug and Chat noir arrive to see the damage to the museum. Hawkmoth had successfully snatched the Eagle necklace thanks to the distraction from Technolizer. He is able to help the villain escape from the heroes, who were having a tougher time with the beefed up villain (until Majestia got more serious)

-Ladybug telling chat noir that if there is trouble to contact her, and she would do the same. Something is up with Hawkmoth.

-Hawkmoth has the eagle miraculous. He finds out the power of the miraculous is to liberate people. Which doesnt sound as useful to hawkmoth as he would like, but he gets a plan. He reakumatizes Techno Pirate.

-The events left New york damaged, but the heroes were not angry at ladybug and Chat noir since they have NO idea why Techno pirate got an upgrade.

-Marinette and Adrien went to catch up with the class. Where a car arrives for Adrien. Commenting that he clearly made a mistake letting him come.

-Marinette didnt stand by and say nothing (since she wasnt depressed or downtroden) she told Gabriel that she should let him stay. That the heroes would protect him, and that she would be by his side.

-Adrien also sided with Marinette. Gabriel was shocked, and angry that his son would Dare disobey him (which stirs the seeds on why he would use Marinette as a tool for an akuma at a later time). Gabriel gives one more stern command but Adrien is determined to stay. (plus he wasnt bummed about everything either so that helped his confidence)

-Jess and Aeon wanted to go with the heroes to help find technolizer but Civillian Majestia and Knightowl said that they needed them to stay here to protect the tourists. Which made them want to prove themselves.

-Cue the Hawkmoth’s plan using The akuma techno pirate with the eagle miraculous.

-Jess and Aeon notice that things are going wrong. Marinette and Adrien both realize it as well and sneak out to go help.

-Aeon realizes that Chat noir and Ladybug are Adrien and Marinette (because she is tech and is immune to that glamor effect. And is of course is even MORE stoked on them. The four of them meet up and work on the plan thats the same as in canon, (using the door hero’s power)

-The fight pretty much goes the same way as in canon, and Hawkmoth is actually pissed off instead of happy that there are more miraculous. Nathalie is now worse off then before. He is now even More desperate since his plan failed.

-Majestia and Knightowl are proud of their side kicks and Jess/eagle gets to be a hero in her own right. Proving her worth. Uncanny valley is her partner.

-Uncanny valley tells them she knows who they are and that she will clear the memories so that no one will know. Jess gets the eagle miraculous. (Marinette tells Fu about this, Fu says its fine. It isnt from his miraculous box, not his jurisdiction.)

-Marinette and Adrien enjoy the rest of the trip with the class. Marinette commenting to adrien how amazing all these heroes are.

-”I think you are much more amazing Marinette.”

-Cue adrinette cuteness

-Gabriel goes back to america, angry and now so much more desperate then before

#ml #ml au #miraculous ladybug #ml ny special #alt ml ny special #in another life #in another life au #ladynoir #adrinette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #fu #marianne #majestia #hawkmoth #uncanny valley #eagle

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yyxgin · 3 years

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no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!!

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!!

ily <333

#💌ask #🌻 anon

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smoaknsnow6 · 4 years

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I just realized something. People SUCK. Never let anyone lower your self esteem. I mean i knew people suck (thats why i fight with everyone i meet) but you can never tell the toxic ones. I had a toxic best friend for 3 years until i finally stood up for myself and escaped. I mean yeah i ended up with a sad me for a few weeks but at the same time it was the best i felt in forever. And yeah a year later i was punched in the eye at school but i didn’t care, because i knew that was a true friend. A friend who is not afraid to help you out and put you in your place is a true friend. And yeah i played a prank on him the next day and made my make-up look like a black eye, but we laughed and i lied for him. My point of this is FUCKING STAND UP FOR YOURSELF NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES, YOU ARE GOING TO BE SEEN AS THE STRONGER ONE AS SOON AS YOU TAKE OFF THAT SHIELD AND TAKE OUT THE SWORD. (Not saying violence is the answer. But if you need to, watch videos of people falling off roofs HILARIOUS) if i could, i would ddstroy the ENTIRE internet. Social Media and days of feeling bad about yourself Gone. Political Wars on Twitter, Gone. Texting someone who is in the same place as you instead of talking, Gone. Interacting with people, back. Less depression, back. Talking about things and doing activities without the internet, back. Stop being followers of people and having your own opinion/voice, back. I used to have everu form of social media imaginable and i keep the accounts as proof, but getting rid of all but 2 made me feel so much better.

Snapchat- just another way to edit yourself to make you look like you had plastic surgery + another form of stalking where your friends are + another way to text people.

Twitter- once again as stated before, a place to start political wars where people team up and a place to ruin eachothers status while also trying to start what is called a “twitter thread”

Pintrest- A place to see your favorite memes and photos and to find stuff that fits your needs without being critized (probably one of the better and only good forms of “social media”

TikTok- A mindless place that keeps you on your phone for a majority if the day, makes you dumber, a place where people get famous for the dumbeat of reasons, (i mean Charli Demilio got famous for making dances. Michael Jackson was famous for being the 2nd king of Rock’n’Roll and the moon walk) (you have probably all heard of Elvis Presley, but i bet, no i know you don’t know any 5 of his songs, name and lyrics) and keeps your focus off of your life and the real world.

Tinder- A dating app which is just a lie to get you to look at hot pictures of men and/or women + its basically just like typing in a random phone number with your area code abd hoping you get lucky whrn you can just casually meet someone the old fashioned way.

Discord- yet again another place to text without the app being called “messages” a place where you can voice call which is another preinstalled app called “phone”

Facebook- (another reasonable app that people take advantage of) it was meant to keep in contact with long distance family and friends who you don’t have the number of. But this app got out of hand and became mildly unpopular, for “old people”, another potential war zone of older wiser more expirenced adults, and where the term “internet stalking” more than likely became a thing because of idiots who cannot for the life of them move the heck on.

Every “Fake Phone Number app” invented- You either have this to prank family and friends, make prank phone calls, or to simply have a fake number to 1. Stalk and talk to your ex. 2. Try and get back together with your ex. Or 3. To see if your current S.O. is loyal and if you really need to go to this extreme to see if thats true then you dont trust them and should probably end things while you can.

Instagram- lets start this and end this with Discord, TikTok, Pintrest, and Snapchat in a handbag. Where you also post highly edited photos of yourself, only the best lit and looking photos, and things to ruin others self esteem

And last we have Tumblr

Tumblr- (ngl, safest and scariest of all mentioned) it combines like features of Twitter, Instagram, snapchat, and pintrest, but is the most safe and loving of the LGBTQ+ community but also has some creeps and weirdos.

I went with some cold hard opinionated facts, but feel free to dig deeper into any of these apps and I guarantee you’ll find something

I cut down my social media to 2 apps, if you want to feel better and think you can do the same or better, get off your ass and do it.

This post could help people. You have no reason not to repost it, if you want to fight with me or tell me something that you think is wrong with this post but i know is completely right, go right ahead, i do not go down easy

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flying-elliska · 5 years

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Hi Ellie!! I hope u dont mind this ask ❤Do u have any advice on how to do stuff on your checklist and not get overwhelmed? I can hardly do one thing out of my to do list and then i get severely depressed for not being able to do anything. i dont think i can function like a human being sometimes. anyway youre so cool ellie!!! i admire you loads!!! - help asked from one adhd struggling teen

HI anon ! I’m sorry for not answering sooner i had a beautiful answer ready and then Tumblr just ate it T_T anyway i don’t mind at all i think it’s awesome that you’re asking me ! this is honestly still something I’ve struggled a lot with. here are a few things that helped me (keep in mind i’m not a professional and this is only my personal, limited point of view) :

- ofc the first thing is to get as much help as you can, there are lots of people out there who can help. Generally talk to people around you about your problems ; often they want to help and just don’t know how : i know the tendency to feel ashamed and keep it in but that’s not good. Some people might be a bit ignorant so maybe keep a few ressources on hand you can send to people to educate them if that’s an issue ; and educate yourself so you feel more secure and legitimate in your opinions.

- one thing that’s helped me lots is to go on #ADHDtwitter and #Neurodiversesquad because a lot of people on there are actual adults who are sharing both their struggles but also tips on how to actually manage the symptoms and have full and happy, if messy, lives. It’s very inspiring. It helped me a lot to feel understood, less alone and gave me a ton of ideas. Some accounts to start with : @ danidonovan - @ blkgrllostkeys @ ADHD_Alien (her comics are so cute) @ dustyexner plus lots of others

- regarding having trouble doing things, this is definitely a Big Damn Problem for adhd folks. the concept of the emotional Wall of Awful really helped me with this, you can find more about it in this Youtube video by the awesome How To ADHD channel (all her videos are so helpful !! have a look!) basically the idea is that we accumulate emotions linked to certain tasks based on unhappy past emotions that make it a lot harder for us to do things and that building it down takes a lot of time and effort but there are ways to work with/around that. learning to process, connect to and be more mindful of our emotions is a huge task, but it’s often a central one.

- don’t try too hard to be neurotypical aka ‘normal’. find the solutions that work for YOU. If they’re a bit weird ? Whatever. The point is that it works. You will probably end up having weird routines that make no sense to others but it doesn’t matter as long as it helps you. Be creative and don’t be afraid to think outside the box. I’ll give you an example : one of the reasons i hate going to bed early is because late at night is when i feel the most free of outside obligations and therefore i don’t want to give that up. So instead what i’ve been trying to do from time to time is a ‘clown hour’ where i basically give myself permission to do whatever the fuck i want (within reason lmao) but in an active way ; basically indulge my rebellious inner 8 yr old. Last time I ended up watching martial arts videos on youtube and practicing kickboxing kicks on the Mulan soundtrack and then put on funeral music and improvised my own eulogy by thinking about what i would like people to say about me after my death. Lmao that sounds completely wack when explained to other people but the point is - stuff like that really helped me reconnect to the idea that my time is mine to do with as i please, not just late at night. Anyway my point is : make it fun, make it a game, try things, experiment. Our brains crave novelty and if they don’t have it and feel burdened by shame, pressure and expectations of course they get depressed and stuck. Give your brain the fuel it needs to work.

- just accept that sometimes you’re going to be a mess. it’s okay. you can be a bit of a mess and also live a fully, happy, joyous life. our society puts so much pressure on us to have this Perfect Instagram Life where everything is polished to unrealistic standards and gives us the idea that your morals are linked to productivity and if you are not constantly striving to be a Model Consumer Pretty Picture you are a Bad Person and a slob/lazy/unworthy/etc and all of that is...toxic garbage of the highest order that everyone should unlearn but especially us. related to that i would be careful with use of social media, tailor it to only give you content that makes you feel good/intellectually engaged/creative because it’s so easy for us to go into bad comparative spirals.

- tied to that be careful of your own perfectionist drives. it’s veeeeery common for adhd people to want to overcompensate their perceived shortcomings by wanting to be perfect. aka you haven’t done anything in weeks and all of a sudden you have this insane to do list where you expect yourself to turn your entire life around in a week. well, not going to happen. i’ve found it so important to limit myself. for instance what i do now is i forbid myself to put more than 5 items on any todo list. once i’ve cleared items i can add more, but not before. it’s a lot less scary that way. also prioritizing is very important so you don’t get bogged down in details.

- try to be mindful of your own energy. a big tendency of adhd people is to overpromise and underdeliver because we are enthusiastic and we want to please people but we are bad at estimating time/energy it will need. learn more about your own boundaries, what things are hard for you to do (for me, it’s socializing in groups) and what gives you energy (for me it’s writing, reading and walking in the woods) and try to balance that. learn to say no, it’s tough but necessary. So that you have enough left for the tasks you need to do.

- create an environment that is benevolent and helpful for you in which to work/do things and that generates positive emotions. Get yourself a cute notebook. Put on happy music. Don’t forget to feed yourself. Don’t give into the urge of punishing yourself. You deserve happy good things - not overindulgence as escape - but our brains thrive on short term rewards. Bundle the unpleasant tasks with more stimulating stuff (for instance i always listen to podcasts while cleaning/grocery shopping etc). Create pleasant little routines for yourself (for instance one of the first things i try to do in the morning is do a little drawing of my emotions, it makes me happy, then i have tea and i plan my day.). Put on alarms constantly so you don’t lose track of time, but with a cool song. Find yourself cheerleaders who can encourage you in a positive way. Stuff like the pomodoro technique, timing yourself while doing a task, etc, can really help. Or telling yourself you will do a thing for ten minutes and stop when it’s unbearable, etc. Prioritize joy, pride, affection, desire to help, altruism, love, curiosity, interest and passion as motivators, instead of anxiety, guilt and shame.

- find ways to build self esteem and confidence in your own skills. it’s often a lack of that that can block you from doing what you need to because you might be afraid of screwing it up. what I did for a while, for instance, is to keep a record of the stuff i did everyday and then extrapolated the skills i displayed from that. another thing you can do is make a list of simple skills you want to learn and find ways to do that, like youtube tutorials, etc. especially when it’s practical stuff and quick to learn, it can really feel so good, and make you more familiar with a sensation of success (and if you fail it can be a fun experiment gone wrong, and self discovery, you don’t have to be good at everything.)

- find ways to challenge yourself. depression happens for adhd people when we let ourself stagnate, isolate ourselves because of shame, and get into this idea that we are subhuman and we don’t deserve good things. that is false. you deserve a happy life. and our brains crave novelty. find your passion and indulge in it, find the things that make your brain come alive (as long as they’re healthy ofc). if you’re not sure what that is, just keep trying. you will find it. but resist the temptation to make your life smaller and smaller. you might mess up but that’s okay. it’s human and it will make for interesting stories later. instead of trying too hard to ‘fix’ yourself, focus on developping your positive sides. it will give you energy, self-respect and draw you forwards like a rocketship. we thrive on passion, not reprimand.

- anyways : i know how tough it can be. depression is really something i struggle with, too. and doing things remains Hard. but my point is, you are not alone, and you are not broken. chances are you too, like most adhd people i know, are a fun, creative, compassionate person with a heart of gold and so much to give. our main enemy is most often the shame that comes with living in a world that is not adapted to us. but the truth is we are just playing the game of life on a much harder setting than a lot of people, and we don’t even have the manual. of course it’s going to create struggle ! so i think the best thing to do for yourself is cultivate a sense of compassion towards yourself, self acceptance, and humor.

- as a teen you probably have a limited margin of autonomy to make your lifestyle fit your needs but - there is so much potential for it to get better ! as you grow in self knowledge and ability to make your own choices, you will find the right solutions and your life will get so much better. i have heard so many stories like this. since i got diagnosed, too, my life got a lot better. i won’t lie, it’s a lifelong process. but there is so much possible. give yourself time. you are so young, and you are definitely a human being. being human is struggling with being flawed and vulnerable and imperfect. i know the world can be shit sometimes, you probably got some negative messages - especially from your own brain bc depression definitely lies to you ! but don’t let yourself be guided by ignorance and fear. you deserve better. i bet you’re also super cool. the happier you are, the better off the world will be. so invest in yourself. educate yourself, develop your self knowledge, be kind to yourself, and keep making little steps. you’ll get there. <3

#adhd #actually adhd #neurodiversity #mental health #depression #anon asks

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adecila · 5 years

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Game of Thrones – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 8x02 episode analysis (kind of)

…or the episode we should have gotten last week.

And we’re back! I am not here to shit on last week’s episode I actually enjoyed it very much, if you just take it for what it was, but! I cannot help but remark how much better episode 2 has been to us… the writing was very very good and rich, and in character, and it finally feels like GoT and… I honestly don’t know what happened in episode 1. But moving on…

As you can already tell, this is going to my personal summary, thoughts and analysis of episode 02 of season 8. Going to put it all under a cut – spoilers, you have been warned.

Are you an Oathkeeper or on Oathbreaker? Or the Jaime Fucking Lannister Fest

Listen I am not calling this a trial, because it is not. Yes I know they call it a trial in the BTS and Inside the episode.

Dany’s speech about Jaime’s deeds against House Targaryen is very good. As I have mentioned in my preview analysis, this is the first time (third time is a charm ha) that Jaime and Dany speak to one another. She doesn’t know this man. This man tried to kill her and he killed her father.

I got right half of the stuff at least, for what it’s worth. Tyrion looks soooo sooo bad. LIKE YOU KNEW YOUR SISTER? Oh the glare!!! If looks could kill, Tyrion would be dust. LiStEn, Tyrion, honey. Sit down. Jeez, read the room, you are not making it better. Dany is right - why should she trust this man? And Sansa is right there with her… until Brienne speaks.

Gwen called Brienne’s speech something “almost like a declaration of love” and I think that is so beautiful it hurts. Not a Braime fan, but hey you got fed fam, I am happy for you! I already mentioned in my live blogging that it was either incoherent or just plain retcon to forget that Sansa sent Brienne to KL because she thought Brienne would kill her if it meant a showdown with Arya. But I digress.

I find it very interesting how Jaime didn’t apologise and his cojones to say so because “we were at war” - and I get it, my dude, Ser Hot Stuff, we all know all is fair in love and war, but I guess it would be ooc for him to apologise. Great delivery, I don’t particularly like NCW but this scene? Top notch. I rate it one doggy style fuck out of one, but so good your legs are wobbly and you can barely find the energy to plop on your bed afterwards.

The things we do for love… and Bran is back with the fucking shit stirring drama. We stan Bran Starkashian.

I find it interesting since this is also Dany’s chance to show how she rules - Lady Sansa says her opinion, which surprises Dany. Then she turns to Jon, who the entire time has been very very quiet. Like the kind of quiet you are when you have the biggest hangover and you are stuck in class and you just want it to be over with. So Jon says what he could say to get the fuck out of there. “We need every man we can get.” So Jaime is given his sword back after Grey Worm literally gives him the I AM WATCHING YOU BITCH glare.

But Jon’s chair is not facing forward, it is slightly oriented towards Dany’s. Notice how he doesn’t look at her, even when she addresses him directly. She gets up and everyone does so afterwards FINALLY SOME FUCKING RESPECT and she turns to Jon… and he doesn’t even look at her… and my baby looks heartbroken because he just ignores her *coughs* As soon as the meeting ended, he rushed out, not giving her a chance to say a word. *coughs*

In defence of Jon… Know what, we’ll talk about Jon later, when we get to the reveal.

Oh and Bran totes doesn’t care about Jaime enough to expose him in front of the entire Great Hall. Because ya know, he is a drama queen, but he keeps his cards close, he either already has a plan for Jaime or as he said, and as I have predicted from the preview, it serves no purpose to expose Jaime for what he did to Bran. Like just click on it and read it. Good that Bran called him out on his apology naaah bitch you don’t get to go holier than thou here. It is what it is.

Me at Bran this episode:

Jaime and Tyrion’s conversation is very interesting, not only about Dany in general whether she is worthy or not, and Tyrion seems to be team Dany. Was it just me or Tyrion more like whispered the part where he talks about Cersei’s baby. Also also listen Jaime, unless you’re suddenly a gynaecologist how the fuck do you know she is not lying? I loved how Tyrion called Jaime out on the fact that he loved Cersei despite knowing full well what and who she was. Dude let’s call it what it was. Don’t play coy now.

Ding ding ding Tyrion mentions marching to KL and killing Cersei … and that’s all I am gonna say about it.

Jaime x Brienne wow this ship is getting so fed - enjoy babies ! And I loved how Brienne was suddenly WHY ARENT YOU INSULTING ME I DONT KNOW HOW TO INTERACT TO YOU !!!! Brienne is leading the left flank and Jaime wants to be led by her. Keep in mind for next week’s episode! I am so proud of my son Pod, I am basically proudmom!Brienne tbh.

The episode in which Dany gets a lot of counsel - because that’s also the type of ruler she is

Tyrion x Varys x Jorah vs Dany - Dany gives the best scolding ever tbh. Moms, take notes, because look at Tyrion’s face. He knows this Christmas when the NK comes he will only get coal. No whores and wine for Tyrion. He was naughty boy.

KHALESSI - Listen. I don’t like Jorah in the books, and my impression of show!Jorah has always been tainted by it. But this Jorah is redeemed and deserves to live I WILL RIOT IF HE DIES. The scene he has with Dany is one of my favourites because it just shows how much history they have together. I will sob if he dies because he is the only one left from S1E01 with her. Jorah tells her to forgive Tyrion and seek out S.ansa to smooth things over. MY BEAR

S.ansa x Daenerys - First time I thought it was going well, they were bonding… and then S.ansa leaned forward and the hand placing seemed a bit too deliberate to me, too Margaery. What I am trying to say is that it is very hard to know if S.ansa is being genuine. It is a very good scene and it holds a lot of importance later on, more on that when I talk about the reveal in the last scene (and I this is what I wanted from episode 1 - cold but courteous.)

S.ansa tells Dany Jon loves her and that “men do stupid things for the women they love, they’re easily manipulated” - which, fair point; she saw Cersei and Margaery do it. Buuuut she also had the counter-argument: she saw how Littlefinger manipulated her aunt. So it goes both ways, bby.

“All my life I have known one goal: the Iron Throne […] until I met Jon

INTERRUPTING THIS PROGRAMME TO FLAIL BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WE FINALLY HEAR DANY CALL HIM “JON” ON SCREEN YES YES FUCKING FINALLY THANK YOU BABY JESUS AND MARY AND THE ENTIRE TEAM OF 12 APOSTLES

“Now I am here, half a world away, fighting Jon’s war alongside him. Tell me, who manipulated whom?” - I love how Dany turns the tables here, because she is right; if Dany was manipulating Jon, then how come she is the one here, fighting with all her men and resources and dragons? Who gains from this more? SEE S.ANSA IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN-

FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING CONTENT.

Then S.ansa goes for that smile ugh and agaaaain I am having soooo much trouble taking it for genuine.

“I am here because I love your brother and I trust him and I know he is true to his word […]” I AM DEAD DEAD DEAD

And then it goes to shite because S.ansa is now clearly drawing inspiration from Theresa fucking May since she has no fucking skills to bring up Brexit - is it Nexit? Dany retreating her hands tho - she feels played LIKE REALLY BITCH I WAS SPEAKING FROM MY HEART AND YOU WERE JUST BUYING TIME HERE.

Theonsa everywhere - or the ship you never thought would happen in this show yet you can’t help but ship it

That hug!!!! Wow I loved it!!! Sophie and Alfie killed it. Also watch Dany in the background - my baby!!! Do you know how hard it is being around people with big families when you’re… alone? It’s fucking depressing, and I just want to hug Dany and carry her to safety.

We got 3 Theonsa moments (and one was a Jonerys parallel so you know the romantic undertones are strong) in this episode soooo yeah! Enjoy! I am afraid they are setting Theon up to die, especially since it would be poetic cinema.jpeg for him to die defending Bran after he took WF from him.

Also also feels like book!Theon and show!Theon are colliding again.

The Merry Men and the Night’s Watch leftovers ; and Ghost for 3 seconds - you’re welcome ; the Hound and Beric; Missandei and Grey Worm

Tormund calling Jon “little crow” was fucking everything! did you catch Jon’s smile??? Precious baby!!! And then asking about Brienne!!!! But did you catch Jon’s face when he saw Sam was also there - like ugh you again - BYE

Missandei x Grey - one of them is totally dead BYE I AM GONNA FLUNG MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW

Sam x Jon on the battlements - ugh Sam really you are looking soooooo bad right now. Jon’s face is again precious. He is so over Sam atm and he is just like WHEN WILL THE NK COME FOR ME BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO STAY ONE MORE SECOND WITH THIS BITCH ISTG– Then I got emo when Edd came up. Damn. Watch Edd die too… I feel it in mah bones. That’s how the last of the NW dies.

Arya x The Hound - I get soooo many dad feels from the Hound tbh and I love it. My guess the Hound makes it. Beric tho??? hmmm Idk about that.

Tormund is fucking insane and I love him

THE BRIENNE KNIGHTING WAS EVERYTHING AND I CANT EVEN LOOK AT THE GIFS WITHOUT SOBBING MAH HEART - also!!! Dunk and Egg reference - Brienne parallel?? And the title of the episode! ugh Summerhall references? BRIENNE DO NOT DIE

Sam gives Jorah Heartsbane - Good. It’s what Jorah deserves. *pushes Sam out of the shot*

Pod singing Jenny’s Song is tearing me apart and making me sob harder I FUCKING LOST IT AND I AM STILL GETTING CHILLS YALL THIS WAS FUN. SEEMS EVERYONE DIES. No, I jest. But I love how they paired up the couples for a tragic love song - Brienne x Jaime, Sam x Gilly, S.ansa x Theon, Arya x Gendry, Missandei x Greyworm, Jon x Dany. I wouldn’t look too much into the song choice tbh, since in Inside the episode they say they knew they wanted a song and they just picked this one and added more verses since it was incomplete. I know this is the second Summerhall reference, but ya know, I personally wouldn’t look too much into it. Edit: I should have never trusted D&D - now go read these amazing posts made by @tomakeitbeautifultolive in which she explains the song and the significance for Jonerys. Also Ramin Djawadi spoke about the song and fed our fandom just today (April 25th).

The War Council or let’s gather around Bran Starkashian so he can spill some tea on the NK

Plan sounds basic imo, not that I had expected much about that, but in Miguel we trust and we know he will absolutely crash this battle in episode 3.

Interesting how the casually dropped that apparently the NK’s goal is to destroy Bran. And the mention of the mark - so now basically Bran is chipped. Cool beans. Sam’s remark about “death is forgetting, being forgotten is very interesting. Memories don’t come from books, your stories aren’t just stories.” - interesting take here. I Sam writing the book about Jonerys? If so I am afraid he has A FUCKING BIAS OMG I AM GETTING HEATED AGAIN. Also my friend @iane-casey was totally annoyed how much screen time Sam got which honestly same dude I am still pissed at you *joins Jon to brood and glare at Sam*

Dany publicly makes a point in that she still needs Tyrion aka he is forgiven so that there is no bad blood between them.

Lmao my friend @zavocado says we should totes just tape Bran to Drogon’s belly and lure the NK away from WF *grabs the duct-tape*

FINALLY A MAP: listen, they are outnumbered as fuuuuck… besides that it is clear that Dany’s forces will get the most hit since they are in the vanguard, Birenne on the left with the Knights of the Vale and some Stark forces, on the right we get the rest of the North, and the Mormonts are inside the gates!

Jon walks on Dany a second time - Dany stops as the room clears out (Qhono and Jorah and Varys behind her), looks expectandly at Jon, he doesn’t look at her (MY BABY BOY HE LOOKS SO ROUGH DID HE EVEN SLEEP?), falters “Your Grace”, and bolts. She falters, her face is all WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING and she clears the room too. More on that at the end.

Gendrya or the OTP you did not know you need and why you fucking need it

First of all, this fandom is so pure. I loooooved all the Gendrya on my dash from episode 1 and then this episode I got flooded and I am here for it bitch. Give me all the feels.

I cannot wait to see Arya with her new weapon!!!

GENDRY IS SO SHOOKETH BY ARYA AND I LOVED THAT SHE TOPPED HIM

I HAVE A SON YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER LET’S JOIN OUR HOUSES

The gendrya - jonerys parallels??? EVERYTHING JUST WOW

Jonerys parentage reveal 2.0 or the reveal Jon also deserved not the travesty he got

I will do a play by play of the scene, but first. Why does Jon avoid Dany? Simple. He is hurting. Since we get the Jaime vs Bran stare down and then we get the Jaime trial, it is safe to assume that happens the morning after Sam blurted the truth to Jon about his mom and dad.

So at Jaime’s fake trial, Jon had what? A few hours at best to process everything - and by that I mean: Dany is his aunt; Ned lied to him his entire life (no matter the reason, Jon has been raised a certain way and to hear the man who was so honourable was capable of the biggest lie in the realm… das huge! so this is shocking his entire moral compass and belief system built upon the education his dad gave him); his dad actually loved his mom and married her so he is no longer a bastard - ya know aka the thing that affected his entire life and the thing he wanted most; his mom died giving birth to him and she managed to think of him in her last moments, enough to make Ned promise her he will take care of her son; the fact that if Robert even caught a whiff of it, he would have been dead. SO that is a LOT LOT.

Which explains why Jon was so out of it when he is asked about Jaime. Also explains why he bolts out of the room without looking at Dany - I think if he had even so much as looked at her he would have broken down. He isn’t ready for it.

Oh the stuff I mentioned he had to come to terms with? On top of all of it we must add the stress of finding a way of telling all of this to Dany in a way that he doesn’t hurt her. Also I bet your ass he thought there was a chance she may not believe him (he himself did not in the beginning)… and a chance she may think he wants the throne since Sam drilled this into his head so now he is afraid of that too.

So when Jon is in the war room he had what? around 12 hours in total since Sam told him? 15? 20? Do you think that’s enough? Because I don’t. But this time he is doing much better. So he is still not looking at Dany, but he addressed her “Your Grace” and leaves - which means he is already in a better place than where he was in the morning, but not quite there yet.

This is good angst. We should rejoice, it will hurt before it gets better.

Moving on. Why didn’t he just directly go to Dany? I honestly don’t think it’s in Jon’s character to seek out comfort. This is a kid who had no one to go to when he would hurt himself. That shit stays with you. You don’t just flip a switch and start seeking out your other half. No, in moments of stress the brain reverts to things it knows bets, to muscle memory and old habits; it uses the energy to overthink itself to death so ain’t nobody got time for that new behaviours shit. At this point jonerys have been together for how long? 3? 4 weeks? That’s not that much. They are used to each other, but not enough to break old habits and past traumas.

Now, the reveal:

Dany stops, silently asking permission before she approaches Jon. Poor bean must be a bit hurt that he avoided her twice, so better make sure he actually wants her company. Jon actually smiles at her, even if it is a sad smile. It kills me how he is just staring at him mom’s statue. KILLS ME. Only then, she approaches him (look at her face, brief relief!). She stops next to him, he turns to her and nods, and only THEN SHE EMBRACES HIS SIDE, HOLDING HIS HANDS, CHIN TO HIS SHOULDER.

“Who is that?”

“Lyanna Stark.” Jon eventually says

Dany looks a bit like oh… shit, again my family yikes… I would say she looks apologetic. “My brother Rhaegar, everyone told me he was decent and kind. He liked to sing. Gave money to poor children. And he raped her” - ok but this is big, because Dany just in S7 recognised her own rape… So no wonder her opinion on Rhaegar is not that good atm.

“He didn’t”

Dany looks shook, but she is still holding onto Jon. Notice how his hand is on hers?

“He loved her.”

She doesn’t interrupt. Jon almost looks like he is feeling brave, so he keeps her hand into his and turns to face her.

“They were married in secret. After Rhaegar fell on the Trident, she had a son. Robert would have murdered the baby if he ever found out and Lyanna knew it.”

Dany is surpised, but so far so good. Jon stares into her eyes.

“So the last thing she did as she bled to death on her birthing bed was give the boy to her brother” – camera on Emilia — oh shit for a split second it starts to show that she is putting two and two together – “Ned Stark” – her eyes widen and she blinks – “to raise as his bastard” – she exhales, breathing accelerates – “My name,” – breathing heavily on her part – “my real name” -- she looks incredulous and nods a smal no – “is Aegon Targaryen” – she blinks, exhales, puls away her hand and turn halfway away from Jon.

She looks away, then at him, he is almost leaning over her but still too far. “That’s impossible.”

Camera on Jonerys

“I wish it were.” (SEE THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING MY POOR SON)

“Who told you this?”

“Bran. He was it.”

“He SAW it?” She sound clipped, the ARE YOU KIDDING ME tone clipped

“And Samwell confirmed it.”He read about their marriage at the CItadel” – camera on Emilia —”without even knowing what it meant” (OK BUT FUCK OFF SAM GILLY READ THAT) - Dany’s face her, she is clearly restraining herself because this sounds insane.

“A secret no one in the world knew, except your brother and your best friend, doesn’t seem strange to you?” she shakes her head and it breaks my heart how you can see the wheels turning in her head going fuck here we go again, I laid my heart bare and that’s it. Yet another betrayal.

Camera on Kit. He looks at her, takes a step forward “It’s true, Dany.” – camera on Emilia – “I know it is.” (UM HELLO DANY I AM HYPERVENTILATING BITCH)

Dany shakes her head, her face looks full with distrust. Then it goes to despair - her voice shaky “If it were true, it would make you the last male heir of the House Targaryen.” – camera on Kit HE FUCKING FROWNS LIKE WHAT – camera on Emilia – “You’d have a claim to the Iron Throne” – camera on Kit and his face goes again WHA—

THEN THE FUCKING HORN SOUNDS. Jon turns his head towards the door, but Dany keeps staring at him and she looks heartbroken.

They go out and it’s all business. He nods to her and she leaves. Interesting though - she comes out first. Jon turned back towards the sound so if they were just running out he should have come out first. Either he remembered to be courteous or there is another small exchange we didn’t get to see. Or maybe I am reading way into things and it was a lame ass decision hahah.

Ok so the reveal to Dany - you better fucking take notes Sam cuz this is how you do a reveal: being calm, level headed, explaining to the person as much as you can, answering questions.

On Dany’s reaction: my friend @oadara said it so so well in this post here. So, building on that, we need to put her reaction in context, just like I did with Jon’s cold shoulder. Dany’s discussion with S.asnsa is fresh in her mind, not just the part about who is manipulating whom, and that must drive her nuts now, but also the part in which S.asnsa did a 180 on her just when she thought she was making progress, so feeling like she was being manipulated. One of course must start asking questions. Has Jon just found out? Has he always known? Did he seduce her to take her armies and her dragons her her throne?? Moreover, Dany specifically tells S.ansa that her only goal in life has been the Iron Throne. Imagine that - having one goal in life, and suddenly someone comes in and can just rip it all away from you, poof just like that, they just need to say the word. Moreover, males have preference… and so many would rather follow a male than a female. And that’s a fact.

Moreover… she still thinks herself barren…

Like I am not saying Dany suddenly hates Jon or will cast him away (ok maybe she will initially I have a prediction/theory I will explain in a different post). I am saying… JUST GIVE DANY TIME. She just found out and now she gotta go save everyone’s ass. Let the girl breathe.

I was asking myself but why would Jon tell her now? If he himself wishes she had never known? I think it may be a very Ned Stark thing - he genuinely thinks he will fall, and he wanted to tell her the truth, because Rhaegar Targaryen may be his dad but Ned Stark is his daddy.

What do you think? As always, dms and asks are open!

Will make a preview post and another about my jonerys theory.

All in all, this episode was incredible and I loved it. I am so not ready for the fight fuuuuuuuuuuuu-

#got spoilers #got spoilers 8x02 #got 8x02 summary #jonerys #jonerys meta #r+l=j #got meta #game of thrones #my analysis

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kitesupportgroup · 5 years

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Be More Chill OBCR 💛💊

So the bmc obcr has been out for a bit now, (and I love it so very much) so I decided to write down all of my favourite things it- if not for other bmc fans but for myself. Enjoy reading through everything I love!!!

****This is not finished, but I ran over the character limit so I’ll be constantly updating this on reblogs! Look out for the most recent ones!!!****

(Btw It’s not all new additions to the album but just everything)

Jeremy’s Theme:

I mean. I love the be more chill band so much.

With the universal Be More Chill sound?

How could I not love this!!!!

And the amazing theremin?

(That’s what that instrument is called)

(I looked up ‘electric stick instrument’ to figure out what it was)

It’s just terrific

100000000/10

More Than Survive:

Will Roland’s voice (and Will Roland in general)

How unenthusiastic ‘good morning, time to start the day’ is

The addition of the parts part between Jeremy and mr. heere on the recording

‘Dude!’ (Weight the options)

‘Oh god!’

Will Roland’s voice (and Will Roland in general)

When the whole cast comes in on the third ‘c-c-c-come on!’

The new hallway lines (I’ve literally never noticed him before)

The dramatic music when Rich writes on Jeremy’s backpack

‘Oh! It’s a sign up for the after school play!’ *pause* ‘It’s a sign up sheet for getting called gay’

‘End scene’

‘Christiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine’ (new harmonies+notes ahhhhh!!!!!!)

‘No need to wallow, no’

Will Roland’s voice (and Will Roland in general)

MICHAEL!!!!

Just George Salazar

Just Michael Mell

‘You look like ass, what’s wrong?’

‘My mothers would be thrilled!’

‘That’s... good?’

[I was gonna say] ‘Getting atoned in my basement’

THE CHRISTINE HARMONIES YALL HAVE MY HEART

The band is so incredible I can’t

The ooooooooooooooo harmonies when Jeremy is signing up for the play

‘Gayyyyyy!’

‘I like gay people’

THE WHOLE LEAD UP TO MORE THAN SURVIVE ITS SO SOFT AND GENUINE WILL YOU WONDERFUL HUMAN

‘Whyyyy’

‘And teach me how to thrive’

THE INSTRUMENTS COMING IN AT THAT PART THEN THE NANANANANA’S

I LITERALLY LOVE THIS SO MUCH THIS PART GIVES ME CHILLS

Will’s bits AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

‘SUR VIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIII VEEE!’

‘GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GOOOOO GO!’

I Love Play Rehearsal

Stephanie Hsu. Just. She’s a queen. No- a goddess

The way she says ‘because it is fun.’

And the pause between ‘because it is fun’ and ‘...I love play rehearsal’

‘not depressed as in like’ bit

MAD GIGANTIC FEELINGS

‘I also have a touch of ADD

where was I?

Oh, right!’

‘The way it works out in the Pla-aa-y’

‘Centre of attention’

‘That was, really one of my best roles’ THAT VOICE💛

‘Do you find that? *pause that Jeremy clearly cant respond in time* Cause I totally find that!’

‘Why-y-y-y-y’

‘I *punch* LOVE *punch* PLAY REHEARSAL!’

‘Hives’

‘Why’m’

‘There’s also a part of me that wants to do this *adorable weird noises* yasss’

‘So I did it *giggles*’

‘My brain is like bzzz, my heart is like wow’

‘And it’s starrrrrting,

starrrrrting

it’s starrrrrrting,

sooooooooooooooon’

More Than Survive (Reprise)

I’m sorry. A NEW SONG?!

I LOVE IT AND THE TONE AND TUNE AND BAND AND WILL

the fact that ‘at least I didn’t have a breakdown, and have to go to the nurse’ suggest that this has happened to Jeremy before I NEED TO PROTECT HIM

Just the whole set up- it’s what touching my hand aimed to do but shorter and wonderful

The Squip Song:

I realise I’ve added this to everything but Gerard Canonico and his voice I love him

The start instrumental

The way he sings ‘girlfriend’ (idk why i just love)

‘Gross’

‘Futile quest’

‘I would trip!’

‘Then then, Then then, Then then, Then then, Then then, Then then, I got a SQUIP!’

‘You got quick?!!’ Jeremy is so excited aw

‘Not quick. SQUIP’

That entire conversation

Just the entire: It's from Japan

It's a gray, oblong pill

Quantum nano-technology CPU

The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until

It implants in your brain and it tells you what to do’ part

And of course ‘so... it’s like drugs?’

*deep breath*

‘IT’S FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAN!’

The techno ness on Rich’s voice

The band

THE HARMONIES

‘Almost hopeless’

‘Yeah, your whole life will flip’

‘Squi-I-I-p’

ALL OF THE SQUIIIIIP BITS WOAH rich GO OFF

Two-Player Game:

Can I just say- one of the cutest songs ever

The part where the intro is all slow after Jeremy and Michael are yelling so excitedly I laugh at it every time

The whole intro sequence basically

The band is amazing

Will and George’s voice’s sound so good together 💛

Michael YOU ARE SO DAMN CUTE

‘pac-man tattoo!’

‘Guys like us!’

‘Listen, bro’

Zombie! Watch out! Ah! Aoh! Awww’

Will’s voice ahhhhHH

‘Dude, I know, I get it!’

‘But we’re not in college’

‘All the same’

‘Ahh! Ohh... ZOMBIE! BLOOD! CLAWS! Pause’

YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NY FAVOURITE PERSON IS SO CUTE

‘I’m your favworite pwerson’

JEREMY’S CUTE LIL ‘yes! *giggle*’

‘Conquer it!’

‘Two... PLAYER GAME!!!’

THE BAND IS SO AMAZING

‘Two player gammmmmme!’

THE LAST FEW HARMONIES I LOVE

The Squip Enters:

Woah it’s so short but I have so much to say

STARTING OFF BY JUST SAYING HOW GREAT THE BAND AND SOUND DESIGN FOR THIS IS I MEAN WOW

Jason Tam’s Squip voice 💛

‘What the hell?!’

Will’s screaming and yelling and noises I love

Christine is so concerned!!!!!!!

‘Mild?!?!’

Jake. That’s all. 💛

‘Oh- wait. I’m fine. I jus-‘

‘Discomfort level may increase’ *yelling intensifies*

‘Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processer. Your SQUIP.’

Jeremy is so awestruck and cute

‘You look like Keanu Reeves!’

‘But I can see you may prefer to take instructions from Batman, Beyoncé, a sexy anime cat girl with a tail’ ‘KEANU’S FINE’

‘Can everyone see you?’ ‘I exist only in your mind. All they see is you having an animated conversation with yourself- so don’t do that.’

‘Like in X-Men?’ ‘I can see this is going to be difficult’ OH BURN OH DAMN I LOVE IT WOAHH (really tho this makes me laugh so much every time)

‘You want to be more chill?’

‘Oh, you mean cool!’

‘I do not’

Be More Chill, Pt. 1:

Okay but the Squip enters moves so smoothly into be more chill pt.1 woah

NEW INTRODUCTION ITS AMAZING

The ‘c-c-c-Come on’

THE ENTIRE KEY THAT THE BEW INTRO IS IN THO

THE WAY JASON SINGS ‘outdated’ assffhfkglsherb

‘I’ve arrived now, this is not a drill’

‘Be. More. Chill’

‘wow’ (Jeremy you’re so cute)

‘Oh but I am a masturbator’ ‘we’ll fix that’

‘I thought I was more of a... geek?’

‘Wha- stammer? N- I I I. I don’t stamme-‘

‘Non existent’

‘Buh’ ‘Uh-’ ‘Buh?’ ‘Uh!-‘ ‘No.’ ‘UH!’ ‘Stop.’ ‘DOGH!’

‘Everything about you is so terrible’ ‘Terrible?’ ‘Teribble’ ‘oh’

Jeremy sounds so dejected and sad on that ‘oh’ I need to protect him

‘....makes me wanna die’ *hyperventilating*

‘So DONT freak out’

‘It says Eminem’

‘If you’re so astute, what’d’ya need me for?’

‘I envision a future in which you wear a Eminem shirt and things turn out well’ *foreshadowing*

When the whole cast starts singing ‘everything about you sucks’ you can hear individual voices in it and at one point I swear you can hear George doing some weird voice and I love it

‘Now you try picking a shirt’ ‘That’s a girls shirt’

‘Jerry?’

‘Jerry-me’ or ‘Jerry-my’ (I always think of Jeremy being shocked about Chloe talking to him so he’s just like ‘Jerry? Me!’

‘Oh- Hi, Brooke’

‘You look sexy.’ ‘I cant say that to a hot girl- AOWWW’

‘LOOKING-PRETTY-SEXY-BROOKAHH’

‘No! Yess (????!)’

The entire round part I LOVE IT

‘Just like this HAHA’ SO ADORABLE

‘So who was this mystery girl?’

‘Oh you’ve probably never heard of (SQUIP HELP ME OUT HERE)’

‘Madeline’

‘What.’

‘She’s Fre-e-e-e-e-ench!’

‘She is not French! She just pretends to be for attention’ *radiating disdain*

Brooke is SO CUTE

‘Yeah- I mean- (????!!!!!)’

‘Because she was cheating on me-E-eeee-E-eeee-Eeeeeeh’ (YES I LOVE)

‘Hey. Hamlet. Be. More. Chill’

Leading into do you wanna ride!!!!

Do You Wanna Ride?

Okay but Lauren Marcus is literally amazing

And Brooke is amazing

The way the Squip and Jeremy day ‘Yes!’ At the sane time

‘Mich-ael’

Brooke is trying so hard to be seductive and it’s so damn cute

‘Do you wanna get inside my mothers car?’

‘Ah, hah’

‘We gotta stop for frozen yogurt first!’

When the incredible Katlyn Carson comes in GO CHLOE

Harmonies 💛💛

The band 💛💛

And, of course:

‘PII-IIINNNIN-IN-IN-IN-INK berrrrryyyyy

*giggles* ‘Au revoir’

SHE’S BEING FRENCH TO IMPRESS JEREMY

SHE’S SO CUTE

Be More Chill, Pt. 2

‘Repeat after me’

‘Everything about me is just... terrible’

‘Good.’

THE SQUIP IS SO MANIPULATIVE

‘Everything about you makes me wanna die’

‘Everything about me makes me... wanna die?’

‘Now you’ve got it.’

THE WAY THE BAND COMES IN

‘ABout you’

THE CAST

JASON TAM

‘Cool’ ‘Cool!’ ‘And powerful’ ‘wow!’ ‘And popular’ ‘*giggles* ‘incredible’ ‘woah!’

The accordion thing in the aforementioned section? Amazing

‘You wi-i-i-i-i-i-ill’

‘Be More Chilll! *giggles*’ JEREMY YOU ARE SUCH A PRECIOUS BEAN

*squip, probably face-palming* ‘be more chill’

THE CAST

Sync Up

*ahem* SCREAMING

THIS NEW SONG

IS AMAZING

LITERALLY

CANNOT

I have so much to say

Let’s go

First of all, the original more than survive reprise starts us off. I love it

‘C-c-c-Cmon, c-c-c-cmon go g-AHHH!’

‘I’m inside your brain’

I can’t write all of the lyrics as highlights but just know that all of the lyrics are highlights

‘Let’s sync up!’

‘Those facts are not mutually exclusive’

I LOVE HOW THIS SONG SHOWS EVERYONES FLAWS AND FEARS

‘I’m shook, I’m blah, I’m just-’ ‘there-there’ ‘Brooke!’ ‘I’m sorry’ ‘it’s not fair’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘I know’ ‘oh we so sync up’

That entire bit I just

‘But as soon as she shares it, they ignore her’ ‘that’s sad. What should I do?’ *pause* ‘you should ignore her*

‘Up-Up-Down-Down-Left-Right-A’

‘The only controller you need is your mind!’

‘Looks like Jeremy’s killin’’

The electronic ‘lets sync up’ bits

THE BAND IS SO AMAZING THE ELECTRONIC COMPONENTS AND THE EVERYTHING

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nothing-but-kpop-dreams · 6 years

Text

BTS Reaction: They see you depressed after you broke up with them for cheating on you (Request)

Author's note: This was request as a part two to “BTS Reaction:When you tell them you are “used” to it when they admit they cheated on you”

Jin:

It had already been a few months since he and you broke up. He had just gotten back from an 8 month tour with the rest of bts and not once did he stop thinking about you. Often times, he would stay up late at night thinking about how you were, if you found someone new; if you were doing well. All throughout the tour, he had kept his phone off knowing that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from trying to contact you. Now back from tour, he turned his phone only to find hundreds of notifications popping on his screen. Most of them being from you. His first thought was to delete them, but as the minutes passed he got curious. He quickly tapped the icon on the first voicemail left by you.

“Hey” your voice rang in his ears. “I’m sorry I am calling you this late, but… I can’t stop thinking about you.

His heart began to race as he clutched his pillow in his chest

“I know I should be hating you and this is pathetic of me to be calling you after what happened,” your voice was shaking. Jin could tell you had been crying. Just thinking about you alone in your room crying your heart out made him want to stop everything and pull you in his arms. “I miss you.”

The world stopped. All the emotions that he kept locked inside poured out as tears. Grabbing his jacket and keys, he rushed out the door and to your house in hopes that you would be there

Rm:

It’s been six months since he had last seen you. After that last fight, he hadn’t even hear a word from you. You demanded to break up with him after his confession although deep down inside he wanted to make things right. He knew deserved the heartbreak he went through when he saw the look of betrayal in your eyes.

He was at your favorite local bookstore reminiscing in the good old days when the two of you would spend hours looking at book on his rare free days. And that's when he saw you.

He spotted you at a table by yourself in a sea of books. You hair was barely in a bun, and you were in a sweatpants and an old tshirt. As you took a sip if your coffee you scribbles frantically at what he assumed were notes.

Despite the fact that you were probably in the middle of studying, there was something different about you. It was as if your happy and casual self was switched with a darker and more depressed one. You looked stressed out and anxious. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around you and tell you that everything was okay. Not once did he think that things would get worse for you. In fact, seeing you in such a depressed and disordered state, made him want to take a chance to talk to you again.

He sighed a deep sigh, before walking toward your table.

You take another sip from your coffee, and glance up. Upon seeing him, your stomach dropped. He wasn’t supposed to see you like this. You were supposed to be doing better without him, not worse.

“Y/n…” Namjoon says softly.

“uhm...Namjoon..”

“Please let me make this right…”

Suga:

Ever since you ended things, Suga hadn't said a single word to you. Knowing that he deserved every bit of bad karma after what he did to you. Assuming that you were better off without him, he made no effort to fix things between the two of you. But just a couple of months after you and Yoongi broke up, he began to get many calls from you, asking to meet up or to talk, which he often times ignored for he knew that he would never forgive himself if he were to ever hurt you again. It hurt him to read the type of depressing texts you would send him or hear your no longer cheerful tone in your voice from your voicemails. There were times where he would be tempted to call you, but instead he’d go straight into his studio staying up all night working on another song or two. These were times when some of the other members would worry most about him One night, at around 2am, Yoongi was up working on another song, when he heard a loud knock on his door through his headphones. He sighed as he paused his music and walked to the door expecting to yet again scold Jimin or Taehyung for bothering him, but instead he was shocked to see you standing at his door with sad eyes and tear filled eyes

“Yoongi…” you whisper as you hold onto yourself.

With that, he knew that he was wrong to ignore your calls. Seeing that you’d go straight to him in the middle of the night, he knew that there was something he needed to do before the both of you could move on or maybe fix what was broken.

Jhope:

It was a stupid move, being at her door at night 7 months after she broke up with him for making the stupidest mistake in his entire life. He knew that he shouldn’t being doing this. He didn’t deserve to beg for another chance. He didn’t deserve someone like y/n. But here he was, buzzed and ready to make yet another mistake that he would regret in the morning

He knocked on her door. The seconds felt like hours until he saw the door open.

Before him stood his love. She was pale, eyes decorated with deep under eye bags, hair flowing in uneven locks from her “bun”, the baggiest clothes she had ever owned and a frown that could be spotted from miles away.

“Y/n!” was all he was able to let out before the heavy door was suddenly slammed in his face.

“Wait!” he cried out, running up to the door, knocking some more. “Y/n just let me talk!

His drunken cries were no use. In his drunken desperation, he ran to her window next to the door. He knocked on the glass calling out to her. He could see her from the space between the curtains.

Y/n was in tears. Her face was dug in her hands and her shoulders were bounding. He hated to see her this way. He hated that he was the reason she was crying. It only made him knock even harder, begging her to let him in so he could just hold her until she was better.

Then suddenly she looked over at the window, staring at him with tearful eyes. And then she started moving towards him. He couldn't help but think that maybe his planned worked.

But of course it didn't Once “face to face” with y/n her hand closed the curtains and he couldn’t see anything

From the corner of his eyes, he could see you working on Jimin’s makeup. Blank face, bland clothes, you were different now. You didn’t talk the same, you didn’t smile the same. You were different ever since the break up and he hated it. Seeing you this way broke him. All he wanted to do was hug you and talk to you again, go back to before he ruined everything.

It had been a month since you ended things and seeing you at work everyday was torture. He couldn’t hold himself back from trying to talk to you anymore. He missed you, he needed you back.

When the guys were going to leave to the set, he lied and said he had to “take a shit” so that the others would go off without him without asking any questions. You were the last stylists in the room, always taking too long to leave and that's when you saw his reflection in the mirror.

You ignored him, stuffing your brushes in the bag and keeping your head down to walk out the door. Of course the attempts didn’t work He grabbed your arms before you cold walk past him.

“Dont touch me!” you hissed the second you felt his touch on you

“I miss you.” he began.

You only stayed quiet.

“I know you are depressed too. Can’t we just talk? I don’t like seeing you this way!” “I’m fine I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Y/n, I see you. You’re different now!”

“So? I’m used to it. It doesn’t bother me.”

“But this isn’t you! You’re supposed to be happy and smiling and laughing and-and dressing how you used to! I hate seeing you this way!”

“Then hate yourself, you’re the one that made me this way.” you said before you walked out of the room

Jimin:

After the breakup it was extremely hard for you to adjust. You were one the choreographers for BTS and although you tried your hardest to avoid Jimin, you knew there were days where you had to face him. There were 3 choreographers, including yourself, and usually Jiwon was the main dancer to teach the boys new choreographies, while you and Minsoo often times come up with the choreographies. As the weather begin to change, flu season had begun and Jiwon as well as Minsoo both called in sick to practice to teach the boys the new choreography. Ever since you broke up with Jimin you had your tricks at avoiding Jimin, the easiest being to ask Jiwon to switch members with you. But you had to admit that you missed dancing with Jimin. When you both hear the first beat of the song, it was like both of your bodies were in sync. You both bonded together over dance, and when you both broke up the emotion you had as you danced died. Walking into the dance room, you expected to see Jimin and Namjoon, but you were surprised to find only Jimin in the practice room. The look on his face made your heart ache. His usual cheeriness was replaced with something much more dark and depressing.

“Y/N….” Jimin started.

Ignoring him, you just started the music and cued him up to start dancing.

“5..6..7..8” You counted down as you started to dance.

As you danced, there was no life to your movements. Your facial expressions were completely blank. The fluid motions of your body told no story. To Jimin, you weren’t the y/n he knew and loved. Although on the outside you spoke little about your feelings, especially after he cheated, after watching you dance Jimin knew that you were just as miserable as he was. And as the music died down, Jimin went up to you giving you a tight hug. As he did this, you couldn’t help but let tears shed and months of buried emotions out.

Jungkook:

“I’m used to it, I’m used to it, I’m used to it.” the words haunted him. A girl as amazing as y/n didn’t deserve to know what heartbreak felt like. How could he have been that stupid? Why did he have to ruin everything?!? Things were great before

Here he was at here door after a day of practice, holding a bundle of dying flowers that he bought in the morning. He had been knocking for a good five minutes. His knuckles were numb now, but he didn't stop. He had to talk to her. He need to make it alright again

Then the door opened and y/n stood there with a frown. “What do you want?!?” she let out in frustration.

“Th-these are for you!” he said holding out the flowers.

“I don’t want them.” she said as she tried to close the door.

“Wait!” Suddenly his mind went blank and the whole speech he had was gone. “ It was an accident!” was the only thing he remembered

“Right, like i haven't heard that before.” she said bitterly. “And let me guess, your dick just so happen to accidentally fall into her pussu right? How original.”

“But it was an accident! Just let me explain!”

“Do yourself a favor Jungkook, stop coming here before I call the cops on you.” and with that she slammed the door on the flowers.

-Admin Cloud and Admin Boat

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luciphe-r · 6 years

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I was tagged by @nuytsia-floribunda !!!!!!!!!! yas i love this thank you for tagging me Rules: Write the first 10 songs that come up on shuffle and quote your favorite lyrics from each, then tag 10 people. !!THIS GOT LONG SO I’LL PUT A KEEP READING UNDER THIS!! tagging: @sparkly-angell; @sunny-day-sky; @teascatsandsciences; @queer-courfeyrac; @soaringren; @czernxy; @spicyenjolras; @apocalyps-o; that’s it i dont know 10 people on this site. do it if ya want, say that i tagged you!

Eraser by Ed Sheeran So blame it on the pain that blessed me with the life i like this cause i’m mentally ill woohoo this is such a good start I don’t particularly like the rest of the lyrics cause it’s mostly the testament of an alcoholic which is never a good/fun song, and also i don’t drink at all so it’s not that relatable lol

Ride by Twenty One Pilots I just wanna stay in the sun where I find I know it's hard sometimes Pieces of peace in the sun's peace of mind I know it's hard sometimes Yeah, I think about the end just way too much But it's fun to fantasize All my enemies who wouldn't wish who I was But it's fun to fantasize again this is relatable to me cause mental health mumbo jumbo, i’d really quote the entire song cause honestly i relate to the entirety of this like i relate to a lot of top songs, don’t @ me, i’m just your average depressed 20something, i see a nice song with deep lyrics and a nice beat and i relate to it.

Dancing Queen by ABBA You can dance You can jive Having the time of your life look this entire song is just an edonist dream, i love it so incredibly much and every time i hear it it makes me feel alive, it’s not just because i’m bi and there’s a legally binding contract that has me obliged to enjoy abba songs... i literally cry listening to dancing queen.

Ophelia by The Lumineers So it’s actually my first time reading the lyrics of this song cause it’s one of my “train songs” which means that it sets me in the mood for my 1h long commute, i used to listen to this on repeat to make the time go by faster if that makes sense.. i love this song and reading it i can’t really pick a favourite lyric? it’s between these tbh - Oh, oh, when I was younger, oh, oh, should have known better And I can't feel no remorse, and you don't feel nothing back cause it’s just... idk... i do live with no remorse in a way? i was reckless and dumb and unreasonably angry and mean and a hot headed kid, but i don’t regret much of what i’ve done up until now, all the ties i’ve cut have been cut for a reason? idk - Honey I love you, that's all she wrote this kind of reminds me of those texts i send my boyfriend when it’s 2am and i can’t really word my feelings but i can’t sleep either... it goes both ways actually, and just... reading/hearing unprompted I love yous is just sweet and this lyric specifically conveys that in my opinion - Oh, Ophelia, you've been on my mind girl like a drug Oh, Ophelia, heaven help a fool who falls in love i felt really helpless when i fell in love, i considered myself the closest thing to a aroace, and falling in love was like a drug, so yeah, heaven help a fool who falls in love. I believe in love and all that mushy stuff, i’m not a religious person, but if i had to put a name to a god i’d say Love for sure. it’s such a powerful force and i am so glad i got to get drunk on it.

Coming Clean by Green Day Seventeen and coming clean for the first time I finally figured out myself for the first time I found out what it takes to be a man Now mom and dad will never understand What's happened to me incidentally I got around calling myself queer (asexual first, and later on bisexual) when i was 15/17 and even though i am open to changing my definition of myself, this song really resonates with me becaue 1. “i’ve come clean with myself, i’ve finally figured out myself for the first time” which is incredibly powerful as a statement and living through it is such an experience; 2. “now mom and dad will never understand what’s happened to me” reminds me once again that i’m closeted and that i’ll probably never come out to my family and relatives, it hurts but this song gives me courage and i can’t deny the fact that every time i listen to it i want to come out so bad

Uffa uffa by Edoardo Bennato Perché non provate a sfruttare l'energia del sole? (why don’t you try taking the energy from the sun?) oppure provate a prendere l'energia del mare! (or why don’t you try taking the energy from the sea!) ... o da dove diavolo vi pare!.... io mi dissocio (... or from where the hell you want!... I disagree/take myself out) dall'affare, ma questa volta alle Crociate (from this deal, this time to the Crusades) non ci voglio, non ci voglio, non ci voglio andare!... (I dont’ want, i don’t want, i dont’ want to take part in) Uffà! Uffà! meglio tutti al buio! (Ugh! Ugh! it’s better if we’re all in the dark) meglio tutti al freddo e senza benzina nel motore! (it’s better if we’re all cold and without gas in our car) si lo ammetto, son dolori, non si scherza, son guai seri (yes, i admit it, it’s hard, it’s no joke, it’s serious deals) ma andateci voi in Terra Santa (but this time you go to the Holy Land) a scacciare, a scacciare, a scacciare i mori!... (to chase out, to chase out, to chase out the Moors!) Uffà! Uffà! ma che fregatura! (Ugh! Ugh! what a swindel!) prima o poi sarò coinvolto, ma almeno fatemi sputare (sooner or later i’ll be involved with this, but at least le me spit) addosso a quelli che sono addetti alla preparazione (on those who’re assigned to the preparation) di questa maledetta (of this damned) di questa maledetta (of his damned) di questa stramaledetta terza guerra mondiale!.... (of this uber-damned third world war!..) the song ends with him spitting on those who’re working for the war and i think this really just conveys what kind of pacifist i am??? idk it’s a song ive listened to growing up since i was like 8 and the more i age the more i feel like this is honestly such a statement song.. also in my city there’s a famous factory that builds tanks so... yeah...

Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler I... I like it cause it’s a shrek song... also it’s just her wanting a beefy man to [redacted] her until morning and... i mean mood, but... its_not_that_deep.jpg

Ring Ding Dong by SHINee this... this really had to come and bite me in the ass in this specific meme didn’t it... 더는 걱정 마, 걱정 마, 나만 믿어보면 되잖아 니가 너무 맘에 들어 놓칠 수 없는 걸 (I mean I'm not a cool guy, not a kind guy, not a guy like that but I could be, I'm a decent bad boy) honestly what a mood, like... nice... and same??!?! like! dude that’ like my whole personality right there 네게 빠진 바보인 나, 날 책임져야 돼 (You have to take responsibility, for this fool that’s fallen for you) this is me talking to jo every time I do something dumb to prove him that i’m A Worthy Lover or wtv... like trying to do a pushup and then dying on the ground. “This is your fault” I yell, in pain... jokes aside: i like this song not for its meaning, it’s your averag love song, but because 1. it has the dopest beat that gets fucking stuck in your head, 2. because it reminds me of a. a video i saw once that made me die of laughter; b. of that one time that was pouring and i was out with my at-the-time group of friends and there was this big puddle of water in the middle of the street and since we were already drenched to the bone we stood in the middle of said puddle and sang/danced to the chorus to this song casue in the video they sing/dance in a puddle hip thrusting their way into the next stanza.

Cell Block Tango from CHICAGO the Musical They had it coming all along I didn't do it But if I'd done it How could you tell me that I was wrong? not to be a man-hating bitch, but... hmm.... this entire song...? Mood. I love this song, because as sexy as this beat is, as amazing as the vocals, the dancing, the entire thing is, the whole meaning of this is that victims can and have all the rights to take revenge. And it’s not politically correct, cause murder, but honestly? “How could you tell them that they were wrong.” Not Guilty. I love morally grey situations, I love complicated situations, and this is one of them. Is murder something that can be excused in some situations? Yes. that’s the first answer that comes to my mind, cause a shot fired from a victim’s gun always sounds like a melody. But at the same time it’s still... murder, it’s still something to be guilty of. It was a murder But not a crime! basically what i’ve been sayin. small p.s. then there’s this line: And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times! the best line from any musical ever.

so what did we learn, my gays... we learnt that you cna listen to songs for the oddest reasons like cause they’re from the shrek soundtrack, cause they remind you of better times, cause they click with you, or cause they’re a man hating hymn that you hum on the train when you catch one of those filthy pigs oogling at you and decide that maybe changing your coach is the best thing you could do. or it’s y’know... an anti-war song made in 1980 that’s clearly anti-system and anti-violence but that still ends with a clear and loud spit... just enjoy music, my peeps, if it makes you happy just listen to it and if the lyrics bother you then listen to the weird al parody or just be from a country the language of isn’t english so it’ll take you like 15 years to tell yourself “maybe i should look up the lyrics” like i did with Bicycle by Queen just to have the song ruined cause i finally understood the lyrics literally and... yeah...

i’m ranting but this post is already long as hell so...

#about me #about #song meme

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i-want-to-be-manhandled · 6 years

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more trans ramblings (tramblings?) - to T or not to T, that is the question

so i’m writing this so i have some thoughts to show my therapist next week instead of scouring my brain for them but im posting it on the internet instead of keeping it in a word document or some shit cause i need some of y’all to relate and i’m already way too personal on here anyways. and also at this point this is my personal blog too, i’ve given up entirely on keeping it just for video games. tl;dr: please tell me i am not the only one with stupid amounts of doubt going against the stupid amounts of evidence that i am very transgender.

tw: long post, doubts, testosterone/hrt effects discussed in detail, (don’t read this if you know me irl and haven’t personally talked with me about being trans? otherwise go ahead), nsfw cause we’re talking about genitals but mostly towards the end of the second to last paragraph (i’ll strike the nsfw stuff), mention of rape but no discussion of it happening, lemme know if i missed anything

so as my last transpost said im very excited for my hysto that im nowhere near getting but im flip-flopping as to whether or not i want to go on t. i know i can get it fairly quickly if i decide i do want it. there’s a trans health clinic in walking distance from where i am moving in 23 days, i have 3 therapists who will write me a letter of recommendation for testosterone, and my mother even found me the trans health clinic so she’ll try to find me somewhere else to go if they don’t take me in for some reason. (having a supportive mom is great i don’t miss her crying about how hard it is to have a trans kid in january and february.) and i’ve looked thoroughly at the effects of testosterone and have sorted them into pros, neutrals, and cons. (posting it here again mostly bc i need to do it but i also need some of yall to relate and/or validate me and/or answer my weird questions)

pros:

voice drop. im so tired of having a squeaky voice which is exacerbated by me always being anxious, and my sister has a deeper voice than me and always tries to sing ridiculously low parts to stretch it for some reason which makes me feel insecure. and apparently my voice is “always squeaky” according to my dad and like? shit man i pass until i talk that’s just the tea.

i dont even care if i have a super deep voice, i actually think i’d rather be a solid tenor because that’s the vocal range of most of my favorite songs, but i want to sound like a man when i talk and not an 8 year old girl

side note apparently a lot of trans guys have male “internal voices” but mine just sounds like how i sound when i talk because i’m a very literal person and that’s why it took me forever to figure out i was trans and not having a male internal voice makes me dysphoric sometimes and even doubt that i’m trans at all... that’s dumb af i know it’s just my literal personality type not me actually being a girl

more muscle. i dont work out as it is right now but if i knew i’d see results the way i want them then i probably would. also im getting ripped during the school year anyways bc i walk everywhere with a 15-20 pound backpack strapped to me so i’m at least gonna look semi muscular which is what i want anyways. please give me strength quite literally i can barely lift bro

bottom growth. ik it’s still not going to be ~enough~ or whatever but i’d have... something? that would be nice.

side note would packers start to be uncomfortable with something there bc i wonder about that sometimes. not that mine is super uncomfortable now or anything (i just haven’t figured out how to make it sit right) but i wonder about that

NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS

if im one of those guys whose periods dont stop on t i am actually going to perform a hysto on myself

fat shifting from hips, thighs and butt to my stomach. i don’t care if i have stomach chub or not, but i DO care that my hips are Like That and my things are Really Girly and i have a fucking Girl Butt TM like please just let me Not Have These Problems

having a more angular face. doesn’t happen to everyone per se but because of my facial structure as it is and also what my dad looked like when he was my age, i probably will get this change. i have actively wished for this since i was 13 and didn’t even know dysphoria was a word. hopefully it makes my lips a little thinner too or at least more masculine.

veins becoming more prominent. i have this one pic of me where it looks like i have Guy Arms and i just wanna look like that all the time ya know

lookin like a dude and passing? that counts right

neutrals:

facial hair. i know a lot of trans guys want this but i’ve never wanted one. i just want a jawline to cut a bitch tbh i’m never having more than stubble except the beard imma wear to my high school reunion

body hair. this is more of a pro-neutral ig bc i want it on my arms and legs but would prefer not to have a lot on my chest and stomach. fortunately i dont think my dad has a whole lot but i’m a pretty hairy afab person as it is i just dont wanna be a werewolf lmao

hair loss at temples. i just don’t care about my hairline enough for this to really bother me. maybe i will when it happens but *shrug*

scents of sweat/bo/urine changing? idk i feel like it will be weird, maybe gross if it turns out bad but honestly i don’t really care what i smell like as long as i don’t smell like a dumpster fire? i shower it’s fine lmao

rougher skin? i dont know if i’d like having rougher skin but i also dont like being an uwu soft boi so

acne. nobody wants it but like... i already have stress-acne right now and don’t really give a shit because i hate how my face looks anyways. not that i want a fuckton of acne because nobody does but im not gonna cry myself to sleep over it ya feel? it’s an annoyance but not really a con

cons:

increase in sex drive. not to be nsfw but masturbating is a chore as it is. it hasn’t been fun since i realized i had crippling bottom dysphoria and even then i can’t get off unless i’m completely distracted from my body (either through porn or being too tired to care). also i have like a 2% chance of ever having a partner so i really dont wanna have to deal with having the sex drive of a 12 year old boy when im 19, single, depressed, and dysphoric. im not even asexual but this is the worst con

emotional changes. yall know at this point i dont have the best temper, and i dont want t to exacerbate that. now, some of my friends have said that t has made them much calmer and actually less irritable, but the rest of my friends said t makes them angry. i have poor anger management and i know it. i don’t need it made worse. it’ll fuck my life up for real

increase in appetite. listen i have gastritis, ibs and acid reflux i cannot afford to be needing to eat more than i currently do

so as yall can see i have a fair number of all 3: 8 pros, 6 neutrals, and 3 cons. and what’s more, all of the cons are things that don’t have anything to do with my appearance (which my therapist and i noticed during our session a couple weeks ago and really made me think i should go on t). so then the answer should be clear: i should go on t, right? deal with having a fucked high sex drive and be pissed off because of it but finally be able to see my reflection in the mirror. so it should be obvious. what the hell am i waiting for?

the main reason i’m hesitant is i’m afraid i’ll want to detransition. even though i KNOW it rarely happens and the women who do thought they were trans because of unaddressed traumas relating to being female or have a personality disorder. i have neither of those things: the only female-related trauma i have is being slut shamed by my mom for wearing tank tops and any shirt that wasn’t a crew neck and one guy saying he’d rape me in 9th grade because he thought rape and sex were the same thing (for his sake i hope he’s grown the fuck up!! i’m not traumatized from this i just made my teacher not let him sit next to me in class and told him to stop talking to me. sadly this is the most sexual attention i’ve ever gotten), and the only mental illnesses i have are depression and anxiety (unless we’re counting dysphoria, which i definitely have). i also sometimes feel like i discovered it too late: i didn’t say “i’m not a girl” until i was 14, refused to explore my gender until i was 17, and didn’t fully accept i was trans until i was 18. and other dumb shit: i never tried to pee standing up so im not really trans even though i didn’t know what a penis was until i was like 9, ive caught myself twice recently wishing for longer hair which made me feel feminine and gross and dysphoric (even though i know hair length =/= gender??), and im not in danger of suicide if i don’t get testosterone and top surgery RiGhT nOw. the prospect of me detransitioning isn’t likely, when you look at all the facts, but the prospect makes me anxious because everything makes me anxious. i am the poster boy for anxiety. and yes, i know i would have said that even when i accepted that i was technically the poster girl but i would have said poster boy anyways because it was “gender neutral” and didn’t rub me the wrong way like poster girl would have. same reason i insisted on being a dude instead of dudette and only described myself with words that didn’t have a female equivalent in french class even if it wasn’t true. so what the hell am i waiting for.

like i know i shouldn’t be doubting at this point because it’s so, so obvious that i’m trans. just because i didn’t try to pee standing up when i was little or ask why i didn’t have a penis doesn’t mean i’m not a guy. i logically know this. like when i was 11 and i insisted to myself i had a male brain but knew i shouldn’t say that out loud because that was weird and i wanted to be a normal girl who didn’t have a weird male brain, and when i was 7 and at my friend sarah’s house and her room was super pink and girly and i literally thought the sentence “is this what i’m supposed to be like?” and when i was 14 and cut my hair into the Typical Queer Girl Pixie Cut and my hair was just??? gone like i wanted it to be when i was 9 and ended up with a bowl cut instead, and instead of looking in the mirror and thinking i looked like an owl when i was 9 i smiled at how “androgynous” (masculine) i looked, and when i was 11 and only hung out with boys at summer camp and they treated me like one of them and the girls were really mean to me but it was the best summer i’d ever had, and when i was 15 and my friend chris joked that i was the “guy” in my lesbian relationship and i was so fucking happy, and when i was 15 and starving myself because i loved my “angular” figure and jaw, and when i was 16 and wearing a dress to winter formal because my ex met me in one and i wanted to be cute for him but i picked the dress that looked like a suit because it looked very “queer” (masculine), and when i was 14 and literally went “hmmm im gonna bind my chest just because i wanna know what it would look like” and it made me so euphoric and i knew in that instant i wasn’t a girl but repressed it for 3+ years because dealing with it would just be too hard, and when i was 11 and knew it was going to be my last day going to school without a bra on and just being so ashamed even though i wanted breasts so i’d be a normal girl, and when i was 16 and wearing that backwards snapback all the time and my friend said it was what tops did and i was so happy that nobody would consider me a bottom or whatever stupid shit because i couldn’t imagine myself being penetrated ever in my cisgender gay life, and when i was 16-17 and scouring the lesbian section of pornhub for pov/strap-on videos bc i wanted to know what it would look like to fuck a girl with a dick without watching straight porn because i’m 100% a gay female because the word lesbian is too girly im not a trans guy or anything haha, and when i was 14-and-onwards wondering why it felt so empty between my legs and why it felt like i was supposed to have a dick lmao im totally a girl though haha, and when i was 15 and had to google how to masturbate bc i couldn’t figure it out naturally and still felt like i was doing it wrong, and when i was 15 and looked at my vagina in the pocket mirror i got from selling like 30 boxes of girl scout cookies in 2007 and my first thought was “that is not my body,” and when i was 16 and actually very upset that i couldn’t ejaculate when i orgasmed. trans who? what the fucking hell am i waiting for

seriously. i was 7 and looking at my 2nd grade yearbook photo thinking “that doesn’t look like me,” and i was 13 and looking in the mirror saying “that doesn’t look like me,” and i went through all of my adolescence waiting for “puberty to turn me into a girl” and then i was 17 and done with puberty and crying because my body was still wrong. i can’t believe how hard i tried throughout my whole adolescence to be some facet of “normal girl” so i wouldn’t get bullied and be dateless forever and thinking “puberty hasn’t turned me into a girl yet” and not stopping to think about what i was if i wasn’t a girl until puberty was done, i realized it wasn’t going to happen, and it was too damn late for me. now i’m 19 and don’t leave the house without either a binder or a sports bra/baggy layers combo and i’d wear my packer everywhere if i could figure out how to get it to sit right (and also get it past my parents lmao). like if anyone else rattled off that list of trans shit i wouldn’t question them for a second. but because it’s me and i’m like “what if i’m transwashing my memories? what if i’m gaslighting myself?” i’m still not on testosterone and please validate me. tell me other trans people doubt themselves, no matter how obvious it is that they’re trans. tell me it’s okay to doubt hrt, even though you know it will be so much more likely to help you. tell me it’s okay to be afraid of detransitioning, even though it’s okay if i DO decide to detransition and it’s so unlikely anyways considering all the evidence of Me Not Being A Fucking Girl.

if you read this all the way to the end here’s an awkward hug and some brain bleach im not even drunk or high i can’t even blame substances for this behavior

#kieran screams into the void #to t or not to t #that is the question #i think i should go on t after rereading this post #but im still a lil skeptical bc of that anxiety ya know #also pls laugh your ass off at my dumb high school self #im here to provide the most quality entertainment #it took me 3 hours to type this

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landonho1993 · 4 years

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Save Relationship Rails Easy And Cheap Useful Ideas

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btsxlami · 8 years

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📢LISTEN 📢 UP📢 ARMYS📢 HERE ARE 23 UNDERRATED ¿!MORE!¿ RAP MONSTER TRACKS THAT YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY POSITIVELY SHOULD CHECK OUT by @btsxlami

Hey guys its your favourite Namjoon promoter here again a.k.a LAMI! My last post got a lot of notes so whoop whoop and included my personal favourite 23 Namjoon tracks which you can find here

Part 2 of my underrated Namjoon series.

Here are 23 more bc damn Namjoon has a lot of fcking songs!

Disclaimers: (HOLD UP IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME SEEING THIS I SUGGEST YOU SEE PART ONE)

1. i will include tracks that Namjoon covered

2. I will include tracks that Namjoon featured in

3. I will include tracks that I personally feel the need to be well known *so no I won’t put expensive girl even tho thats my shit*

4. This list will be a bit more laid back since I covered a lot of the most important songs in the last list sooo

5. since i covered his best and most “important” tracks in the last list theres not many left but ill probably include his REALLY early like pre debut fetus tracks with his underground rapper friends, tbh I personally don’t think they are the best but you can definitely see how he grew and where he started from

6. enjoY! and reblog kekeke

7. THIS IS A LONG ASS LIST AND I FUCKING ANALYZED EACH SONG SO I EXPECT YALL TO READ AND APPRECIATE NAMJOON GODDAMIT

8. you can always go to BTS’s official soundcloud for unofficial official tracks yeet

9. titles with stars are ones i recommend ( i should of done this for part one yikes)

1. Voices by Rap Monster ⭐

from his first 2015 mixtape RM > Check out the full album here >> X *you can refer to more mixtape songs in my previous list

I feel as if this song is the closest a fan can get with Kim Namjoon. Just listening to it you feel a bit relaxed and almost a bit sad when you start listening to the first half of the song. This song reflects a person’s tender emotions and voices that run inside of someone’s head when they are confused. I remember listening to this 2 years ago and towards the end Namjoon starts screaming out all his pain and I started crying. C R Y I N G

Namjoon had a really smooth life up until he started pursuing hip hop. He was a beyond smart student and had a happy family so why the hell would he be depressed? He had his whole life ahead of him right?

But this lyrics totally breaks that facade down

“ I didn’t have any dreams just like my lyrics, every day in that way the functions and equations that couldn’t give me an answer in the end those things became uncountable injuries “

Despite having such amazing grades Namjoon did not know what the hell he wanted to do with his life, he didnt want to go into something academic despite being good at it, he was lost in life and his academics could not make him happy but instead hurt him even more.

“ thought I could catch the mirage known as happiness but the me in front of my desk wasn’t happy even for a moment without my mom knowing, I put a sheet of white paper between the pages of my workbook “

This verse totally broke me apart. He wanted to be happy while being in school but school sure as hell did not make him happy. His parents looked up to him as some smartass freak but without them knowing he started writing his own lyrics to cope with his hardships.

“my identity that I wrote down matched to the drum and bass a different, relaxed feeling compared to when I got my report card even when I was #1 my heart couldn’t relax”

The music brought out his true inner feelings, music brought out his true personality rather than when he was almost robot like studying with no self-identity. Despite being number one in class he still felt an emptiness that only music could fill.

“even as 7 years passed... still making my mixtape by myself in one corner of my room some say I’m fake, okay, I admit it, my dark past I can justify it, but I won’t, so that kind of problem won’t happen again the pedal that I stepped on for 7 years has finally been oiled “

Namjoon has been writing music and tried to get recognition for 7 years, despite Bangtan getting fame he is still lonely writing his own mixtape in a dark corner, kind of pathetic ehh idk, in his mixtape interview his dark past was his problematic sayings and actions. He felt the need to appropriate culture in order to rap. He then figured out that music and culture had nothing to do with eachother, music is for everyone. *I’m fake*

And finally after all the hardships after 7 years he is finally started to receive praise and attention!

2. WE ARE BULLETPROOF PT.1 by: Rap Monster, Supreme Boi, and Iron ⭐

Composed 6-7 years ago when Namjoonie was about 15 or 16 THIS SONG IS FUCKING BOP.

2 of Bangtans were also first members are featured here: Supreme boi (yall probably familiar with him) and Iron! (i hope iron never affiliates with Bangtan ever again tho we dont need a criminal around them yikes)

3. Hook by Supreme Boi, Iron, and Namjoon (also the track used in Yoongi’s all i do is win)

Extremely old and pre debut, but old is gold

Probably one of Namjoon’s only ‘diss’ song, he usually doesnt diss others while he raps tbvh

4. Seventeen by Rap monster

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDNT MAKE FUN OF HIM BC 15 YEAR OLD NAMJOON AT THE TIME WAS PROBABLY REALLY PROUD BACK THEN BUT HE LOOKED SO FUCKING FUNNY BC DAMN THAT HAIR AND HIS VOICE SOUNDS LIKE A CHIPMUNK BUTHUSDHUFUFSUD

5. SKOOL OF TEARS By: Rap Monster, Suga, and Jin ⭐

Absoloute MASTERPIECE! FIRST OF ALL THE ORIGINAL TRACK IS FROM SWIMMING POOLS BY KENDRICK LAMAR AND I LOVE KENDRICK! SECOND, THE RAP FLOW SOUNDS AMAZING NAMJOON IS GOING SO HARD AND DAMN YOONGI BACK AT IT AGAIN! ALSO CREDS FOR BABY BOY JIN FOR SOUNDING SO BADASS HERE BUT HERE IS WHY I LOVE THIS SONG!

I think its absolutely amazing how Namjoon especially writes song towards youth suffering in school, it takes a lot of guts to write against a society that has been around for decades.

“ This is a ring called a classroom This is a stadium with no referee only an audience You know there will never be a victor everyone will lose There will be no victor everyone will lose”

“ That’s right, in the end school is like another mini society A jungle made carelessly by adults They made the weaklings weak, they made the strong powerful Of course since they were strong they made the weak suffer A society built on the teachings that friends are only for pretend The morals of adults made us step on the weak to rise to the top “

Its clear to see that Namjoon has suffered in school but also isnt afraid to address the truth.

6. Expensive girl by Rap Monster

( I FUCKING DISCOVERED THIS SONG WHEN I WAS LIKE 11-12 AND I NEVER WANTED TO PUT THIS HEAR BUT YALL LIKE FOUGHT ME TO ADD THIS TO THE LIST GODDAMIT I HATE YALL I GOT LIKE HATE MAN OKAY)

“Take it off now girl just take it off (I’m a master, baby with your bra)Take it off now girl just take it off (I can help you slide those panties off)(..I’m a beat that pussy like you never ever felt before)x2″

7. Converse High (original version SUNG by Rap Monster)⭐

Yall probably heard Bangtan’s Converse High but here was the original version written by Namjoon that was rejected bc of the swearing omg damn joonie, BUT HE SINGS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THIS YESS

(funny story in seventh grade when this came out it was the last day of school and i requested my teacher to stay after school late so i could finish listening to the whole thing)

8. Suicide by Rap Monster

Rapmon wrote this mixtape in the point of view of a baby in his mother’s tummy. The baby’s parents are high school kids who are forced to go through abortion.

*this song was deleted bc of copyright and also the source of it is unknown but hey ITS IN ENGLISH AND DAMN NAMJOON RIGHTS DEEP SHIT*

(tf is namjoon doing u good)

9. What am I to you by Rap Monster from the 2014 Dark & wILD ⭐

if you DONT KNOW THIS SONG I SUGGEST YOU RETHINK YOUR LIFE DECISIONS BC LOWKEY HANDS DOWN ONE OF THE BEST INTRO’S TO A OFFICIAL BTS ALBUM (gif is from the live ver of this song and he started crying ok)

So Namjoon used to have a girlfriend who “mistreated” him. Tbvh we really don’t know what happened but on problematic men he said it wasnt anything serious it was just she would neglect him and not spend enough time but also hang out with other men.

(gif aint mine so gif blogs dont come at me)

But clearly the lyrics of this song are very emotional but the real reason why this song is a masterpiece is because of the rise of emotions.

It starts off slow and cute, Namjoon mentions how he loves the girl and how their love is pure and innocent, throwing cute love phrases and the song sounds so soft, hopeful, and romantic. But in the middle the music starts to get more serious and Namjoon starts to question the relationship. He feels as if the girl thinks of this relationship as more of a task and a job, and slowly as the song comes to an end NAMJOON STARTS FUCKING SCREAMING AND BELTING! ALL THE EMOTIONS BUILD UP AND HE STARTS SCREAMING “WHAT AM I TO YOU GIRL WHAT AM I TO YOU I DO LOVE YOU CRAZY UH DO YOU” LIKE IT WAS SCARY I WAS CRYING IM LIKE NAMJOON WHO TF HURT YOU

10. Always by Rap Monster ⭐

This song is more recent and farely well known but I still felt the need to put this masterpiece here. Namjoon said not to worry about him as the lyrics are really sad and almost ???SUICIDAL??? but he said he wrote this when he was stressed last year. Its kind of a self questioning song about life and your purpose. I cried when it came out. well i always cry when i listen to namjoon is it a surprise.

I'm honestly in tears because this song goes to show how hurt Namjoon still is even after all these years. Even after all these awards, fans, and accomplishments. Depression still hurts after a long time. I can tell that this song was talking about his past. This song literally made me realize Namjoon was questioning his existence and I wanna hold him so badly. Guys...we could of lost Kim Namjoon. My absolute favourite human being in the entire world who saved my life. He is a human being who does not deserve such pain but I am so proud he endured it so well and look how far he came. One of my favourite verses "I live for the sake of understanding this world, but why hasnt the world tried to understand me atleast once" Its a really vague phrase which is why I like it. WORLD could mean destiny, fate, life, even parents. He tries so hard to accept his life, to understand his parents wishes, sacrificing his own happiness yet fate decides to only give him the worst. "Dad please listen to me" "dead dad, your dead to me," Talking about how his dad wouldn't let him rap. I remember him mentioning that his dad once told him all that education he worked hard for was for nothing and I can’t imagine how sad Namjoon felt in that moment. "I would tell god if I ever meet him, i would hold him by the collar and tell him this life is like a coffee I never ordered" A pretty sad and a bit confusing verse, maybe leading to why Namjoon eventually became an atheist. Namjoon was in so much pain he didnt want to be born. "I wished I was dead...... I wished “Someone would kill me" No Namjoon never utter such words. My joonie mini I hope you are better and hopeful now, look at how far you came, your so successful and loved, and you made your family proud. Dont ever doubt yourself and even think about death, just keep living happily and moving forward. He honestly felt lost in this point of his life and still continues to feel lost. Namjoon you have such in important role and your existence was destined. You were born for a reason. You were born to change lives.

11. J-Lim ft. Rap Monster & Iron - Ashes

12. TIPSY BY RAP MONSTER & SUPREME BOI

Namjoon wrote this in the beginning of his rap career when he was still trying to find where he stood as a rapper. He mentions how he isnt doing this for the fame or money and he isnt the next Nas or Tupac he just wants to rap for the love of it.

13. Rap Monster of 방탄소년단 (BANGTAN),Supreme Boi,i11evn,Marvel.J - You can't do that

*i suggest you skip ahead to 1:30 for namjoon fire verse, shade intended*

14. RAP MONSTER of 방탄소년단,Suprema,Marvel.J,Kyum2 - Rollin

I also recommend you to skip ahead to 2:40 BC DAMN BOY GOES HARD

But tbvh pre debut namjoon squad (supreme boi , young jeezy, iron are hella problematic and say the n word in this and still do so im like yikes im happy nam left you) “ They pissed, now rape me" bitch whet

yeah im just here for namjoons verse bye

imma mufukin balla on this mufuckin beat spit mufuckin rap on this mufuckin shit got mufuckin skill so im mufuckin phat its mufuckin trick and a mufuckin track i i bet you betta stop stopin da chatter im a rapper man, and i represent BPB im juss so greater than hoes

15. FUCK COCKROACHES BY RAP MONSTER AND ZICO *THIS IS SO FUNNY*

Zico was 15 and RapMon was 13 when they rapped this, Namjoon sounds like a chipmunk BUT ZICO SOUNDS LIKE JIMIN I STG!

16. Rap Monster- Thinking Bout you

Joonie Mini Representing Biggie smalls eyyy!

17. Glory By Rap Monster

"I'm a dick? Yeah, when you disturb me, I grow bigger" SO FUCKING DONE

*there was lowkey lowkey controversy bc he said he tore 4 hymens BUT DETECTIVE LAMI FIXED IT*

In the beginning Namjoon says that people looked at him pitifully because he joined BTS, the Underground rappers were disappointed with him which led the Underground rappers to leave him, which has ripped his hymen. Not 4 hymen of random girls. 4 and "I" sound the same in Korean

it's a bit weird but in this case he is talking about himself all the hate people showed has ripped his hymen symbolizing his innocence for music.

18. NAA BY RAP MONSTER

tHE ORIGINAL BEAT WAS DEUCES BY CHRIS BROWN I WAS DYING

19. REGULAR VOICE BY RAP MONSTER ⭐

A really sweet and open-minded song about Namjoon wanting a “regular girl” “Height? I don’t care. Age? I don’t mind it. When you say, “I’ll only look at you” then I’m okay. Whether your skin is light or dark it doesn’t really matter, our love is deeper than that. “

I feel as if idols are pressured to have certain ideal types and say them out in the open, Namjoon had bad influences around him *underground rappers* which also influenced his negative sayings towards certain things but he wrote this song all alone at a young age which shows that his intentions are pure, and ever since he apologized for his wrong doings you go joon.

his voice sounds like sex

20. DREAMING BY RAP MONSTER

FETUS CHUBBY WTF HAIR NAMJOON IS BACK

okay but seriously you can see that despite being young he put a lot of effort and thought into this song!

21. RAP MONSTER of 방탄소년단 feat.김거덕 - RAP

22. 130305?? THIS TRACK IS UNTITLED BUT IT SOUNDS SO EPIC TF

23. Trouble by Rap Monster 🔞 🔞

OKAY IM BARELY AROUSED BUT THIS SHIT ACTUALLY HAD ME SOAKED IM SORRY GOD LIKE ITS SO SUGGESTIVE I STG

HIS SEXUAL FANTASIES I STG

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dajoezenone · 8 years

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THE ZOO ARC (Steven Universe Review)

Confused about how I’m reviewing an entire arc of episodes that has been promoted to release at the end of this month? Well, Cartoon Network put the episodes on their website without warning last night. And I watched em.

But you dont care about that. Lets talk about the episodes. I’ll be as spoiler free as I can but its a pretty intense arc. Just watch it and then come back if you still care.

The first one starts out by breaking the cardinal rule of the show: STEVEN PUTS STUFF TOGETHER AND ASKS QUESTIONS ON HIS OWN. Except, not really. His questions come up because his dream powers are causing his mind to connect with that of Blue Diamond. Side note: any other time Steven’s dream powers have acted up, its because Steven is thinking about the person as he falls asleep, or otherwise because he lucid dreams his way there intentionally. This time it is COMPLETELY unprompted as far as I know, and its not really said why. But thats okay.

Anyways, its really Connie that puts together that she’s seen the thing in Steven’s dream before, and thats the only thing she does this whole arc. While we’re on the subject, Lapis and Peridot show up momentarily in the subsequent episode only to also get left out of the entire rest of it. The three are told that if anything happens while the main crew is gone, they must defend Beach City and the earth, which shows how much the Gems trust them, but since, to our knowledge, nothing really happens, it doesnt mean anything really. I really want to see the three of them interact on some kind of mission sometime soon though. That would be really fun and solidify the three of them not only as Crystal Gems, but as a team themselves. I’d really like that.

Anyways, Greg and Steven go off in search of answers to what really happened to Pink Diamond, and do so by flying to Korea in Andy’s plane. They have a nice touristy montage through Korea, and then end up at the Palanquin. There, they find Blue Diamond, who is mourning Pink. Greg has a nice moment where he connects with her, where he tells her he knows how she feels and what she’s going through. Its a really good scene. The two characters aren’t ones you’d expect to connect. The parallel is nice, not expected, and really clever. Its emotional, and genuine. Its also interesting to see Greg do something like this, as its definitely what Steven would do in the situation. I somehow always thought that side of Steven really was from Rose. After all, we’ve seen that she loved everything on the Earth. But... the more we’ve learned about who Rose was, it does make much more sense that having this kind of response to Homeworld things definitely comes from Greg, not Rose.

Anyways, Greg is dadnapped by Blue Diamond and put into her Human Zoo a few lightyears across Space.

Steven and the OG CG crew follow in the Roving Eye they stole from the Rubies. Speaking of whom, we see them briefly, and its mentioned that they’ll clean up THAT mess on the way back. The second episode in the arc seems mostly wasted on in-jokes like this. Steven messes with the ship’s controls, and as they go farther beyond the speed of light, it becomes harder and harder for the Gem’s to maintain their form, which results in some not that funny shape shifting shenanigans at first, and some soul-crushing loneliness later. Steven has a revealing, yet predictable emotional moment while the Gems arent able to take form, confessing he feels this is all his fault for asking questions. But the problem is solved and the Gems comfort him. This is by far my least favorite of the five, in case you can’t tell. Its got its moments, but not enough for me to really like it.

The third episode brings the quality back up though. They arrive at the zoo, and realize they’re going to have to sneak past the Homeworld Gems stationed there. Garnet unfuzes, and Steven and the four Gems start faking their way through the security so they can get to where Greg and the other humans are held.

Something I really like about this episode, and the last one in particular is that each of the Gems that does come along on the journey has to deal with their own little struggle. They all have moments that are unique to their characters, and they’re all balanced well. Ruby, Sapphire, Amethyst, and Pearl all grow as characters, at least a little bit. Pearl is the most obvious, as she is forced to revert to being subservient to the other Gems. Sapphire and Ruby have to be apart again, and the stakes are much higher than in Hit the Diamond. Also, while that largely seemed to focus on Ruby and her interactions with the other Rubies, this focuses a tad more on Sapphire, having to pretend to be in charge of the other Gems, and having to struggle with the knowledge that they WILL fail. Without Ruby, its hard for her to change the course of time she sees before her, and we really see the effects of that. She gets a lot more screentime than she usually does, and its really nice.

At the base, we’re introduced to the main villain of the arc, a Holly Blue Agate in charge of the Zoo. Compared to Peridot, Jasper and even Lapis, she’s relatively mediocre, and I kinda doubt she’ll ever become as important as those Homeworld Gems, but she does her job well. She’s super uptight and perfectionist, and while she clearly enjoys her work on the Zoo (expressing delight at both the new human arrivals) 5,000 years of dealing with the squadron of Amethysts and other Earth Gems that crew the station is clearly wearing on her. Any tiny thing that goes wrong, she blames on them, which is really nice for our heroes, but at the same time only allows them to see how ferocious she would be to them if she found them out. Even Steven never really tries to befriend Holly Blue. She manages to be scary while also hardly raising her voice. She expects things to work the proper way, and whoever is making things NOT work properly will suffer, if she has anything to say about it.

Without spoiling how that episode really goes from there, the fourth episode in the arc focuses on what things have been like for Greg actually in the Zoo. And this episode is probably my favorite of the bunch, though the last one is really good as well. The humans in captivity are all very blissfully unaware of how life is. They all seem to be happy, but their lives lack true meaning or love of any kind. The people there are all really nice, albeit childlike and a bit weird. They’re somewhat entitled, a bit lazy, and all seem to lack any real individuality. But this isn’t a fault of the writers, its just that they’re all just products of the world they live in. Even Greg is starting to just do what he’s told and exist in this blissful utopia. He only really disobeys it when he discovers that romantic relationships in this world are all predetermined by the automated voices. And Greg doesn’t want a new Romantic relationship. Especially not with any of these people that can’t make decisions on their own. I wont spoil how this one ends either so lets move on to the finale.

btw, I DO spoil the finale. If you havent’ watched it, just know that its very good and you should watch it.

The final episode begins Greg and Steven being captured by the Amethysts aboard the Zoo. The have our Amethyst as well, who plays like she’s being held captive before revealing she has befriended them all since the last time we saw her. It turns out that all Earth Gems are about as unruly and immature as our Amethyst is. There’s even a Jasper and a Carnelian from the Beta kindergarten mixed in. The whole gang is delightful, and I wish we got to spend more time with them, but we really only get enough time to see how accepted our Amethyst really is among the rest of the misfits and freaks from Earth. From there, the squad helps hide Steven and Greg from Holly Blue long enough to get them to a large room where we see a bunch of bubbled Rose Quartzes. As they make their way across the giant room, a couple suitably giant gems come in. Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond. Blue is still depressed about Pink, and Yellow is attempting to cheer her up, so they can get rid of the Roses and the Earth, and move on.

She sings a song, accompanied by Blue and Yellow Pearl. I dont like it that much. Yellow Diamond’s singing voice annoys me, and Deedee is definitely better as regular Pearl. But, its still really good for what it is, and it allows us to see into Yellow Diamond’s head a little. The Pearls are really fun as well. I love how Yellow Pearl is so opposite of ours. She glories in her diamond’s arrogant sass, and feels so honored whenever she’s addressed, no matter how demeaning the task she’s commanded to do.

That aside, Greg and Steven regroup with the rest of the squad, and they all manage to make it past the Diamonds without incident. They make it back to the docking bay, and almost make it into the Roving eye, but are caught by Holly Blue. We get a quick fight scene, but its mostly just the Gems showing off. The Agate is apparently more bark than bite, and her squad of Amethysts don’t do much to help, as they’re rooting for their friends over their hated boss. Pearl gets the last laugh, telling Holly Blue why it’d be a bad idea for her to reveal to the Diamonds what just happened, and they fly off into the sunset.

Its a great arc. Definitely bigger and more intense than almost any arc before it, but at the same time, some of the episodes, the second especially, seem really slow. Theyre all just kind of building, and then the last episode, while really great, just kinda wraps up all that setup. Its really great, and it leaves room for the rest of season 4 to be even bigger and more amazing.

I really hope we see the humans and the Earth Gems of the Zoo again. I imagine we’ll have to, since all the Rose Quartzes are bubbled there. All three groups are native to Earth, and I’d love to see them all return there sometime. But... we’ll see.

This was a great arc, and a step in a wonderful new direction for the show. Can’t wait for more.

#steven universe #steven bomb five #the zoo #that will be all #the diamonds #whats the use of feeling blue #adventures in light distortion #steven's dream #gem heist

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sxdomy · 8 years

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1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? not @ all3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissues, napkins, sticky notes, random cuts of notebook paper4: how do you take your coffee/tea? two-four sugars w creamer or 1/2 n 1/2 (tea)5: are you self-conscious of your smile? not after i got braces6: do you keep plants? no7: do you name your plants? 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? idk the only art i do is in photography, and i try to do dark/spooky shit.. it doesnt have a meaning9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? i dont rly have a friends group, less drama that way12: what's your favorite planet? smth has always intrigued me abt mars13: what's something that made you smile today? lars (:14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? idc it's somewhere to live.. we can fix it up if we have the money. if so, i would prob have a bunch of shit everywhere lmao15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it says language programming ??16: what's your favorite pasta dish? some plain old penne/rigatoni w red gravy, but it has to be GOOD red gravy .. none of that ragu/preggo shit17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? black and it already is dyed that color, but i do want to experiment a bit and get few pieces red18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. JESUS.. these are endless... once i RLY had to pee, and i was @ school. it was after school hrs. my friend and i were waiting for the game to start. all the doors were locked up @ the school. i think they took out the portapotty from outside, so i said to my friend, "let's go to the lower field" (we have an upper and lower field idk what other schools have lmao) despite it saying there are cameras down there (which IK for sure bc i've seen the computer w the school cameras, and there are ones surveilling the fields), i peed. in 8th grade during lunch, this girl pissed me the fuck off. i can't remember what she did, but i picked up her sandwich and threw it to the ground.another time in 8th grade during gym, my friends and i were fooling around during a fitness walk (walk thru the trail surrounded by woods oooo). i was yelling "IN DA GREENZ" bc i was a rly weird kid, and now we bring it up whenever we see bushes. OKAY lasT memORYYY in 8th grade, i was on the soccer team. i sucked @ it... the ball was coming to me, and i tried to kick it. instead of kicking it, my foot went on top of the ball resulting in my fall19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i used to keep a journal. last winter was the most recent journal i'd had, and my guidance counselor purchased it for me. i was going thru a rly hard time, and it was an outlet from that. after the winter ended, i never felt the need to write in it again.. it hasnt gotten that bad20: what's your favorite eye color? lars' eye color21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. 22: are you a morning person? depends... if my sleeping schedule is just like that, I LOVE WAKING UP IN THE MORNING. if i don't usually, then no fuck it lmao23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? literally nothing, but i do that when i have obligations... i get to it @ some point24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? lars25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? i've broken into my friend's house and my own. breaking into my friend's house wasn't rly that weird. i was out of it bc i had hardly gotten sleep the previous night. i also had permission lmao it wasn't as if i just went in. my friend had forgotten her key. breaking into my own house was actually bizarre ...26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i usually wear my docs, but i switch out. before getting my docs, i wore my all black vans W LITERALLY EVERYTHING. the only time i wouldnt was when i wore a light outfit, which wasnt often bc 98% of the time i wear all black27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don't chew gum. it has aspartame, which is literally poison28: sunrise or sunset? i haven't seen a sunset since i was a child, and i want to definitely see it again29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? monty is my lover30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. socks are good. if you wear them in the cold months around the house, you are less susceptible to sickness. they also work well when you wear them w most shoes bc they prevent sweat. lars take notes (; i love wearing weird socks. i love socks. i usually never match socks bc no one will see them?? if i wear a black sock, i try to match w another black sock tho. i do sleep w socks in the cold months. otherwise, my feet would freeze. sometimes i wear multiple socks in the summer to keep my feet warm. i do wear white socks sometimes32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. i wasn't w my friends, but i found a drunken man in my rm after 3am on st. patricks day two yrs ago33: what's your fave pastry? cannoli34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept this one stuffed animal who was a girl. she had blonde braids, and i used to kiss her on the lips when no one was looking. i knew it was weird bc she wasn't real. i also used to pretend i was fucking her... it was a weird childhood. idk where she is now35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I LOVE PENS!!!! okay im going to sound like a weirdo.. i only love certain kinds. i hate cheap ass pens. my fav pens are the ones that u click on the bottom to get the tip bc the clicking helps me concentrate. it's also fun to just click it. i haven't used a clicky one in awhile bc i bought myself pentels. i love pentels as well bc they come in nice colors, and i rly like the cap for it. i like pens that come from certain companies bc it looks like i've been somewhere.. maybe i have? i've gotten free pens from places and some of them i just found w that lettering lmao 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? nine inch nails (:37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? dont care as long as ik where everything is. my parents call it messy, but i call it my peace38: tell us about your pet peeves! i hate when ppl put things back where they don't belong. idk i dont keep track of this shit39: what color do you wear the most? black40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? none41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? 1984 by george orwell42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks LMAO43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? no one44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? the last time i was w lars45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yes46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. idk47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? high fructose corn syrup48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? idr what it was then, but now it's getting raped.. ive had this fear since i was 14 i think49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i dont usually buy that shit50: what's an odd thing you collect? wristbands.. i like to say i've been places51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? lars , peach // the front bottoms52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the yr just started, bUT I LOVE IAN'S (IDUBZZZZ) VIDEO OF "I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION"53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i want to see rocky horror picture show. i've seen heathers, beetlejuice, and pulp fiction. i love heathers and beetlejuice. i didn't understand pulp fiction entirely, but that could be bc i was spammed by a gc while watching it54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? idk56: what are some things you find endearing in people? smile57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i never realized that this song sounds like five mini songs put together... i did reenact them in my head58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? nonexistent lol59: what's your favorite myth? black eyed children60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? anything from edgar allan poe61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? idk i hate getting gifts i'd rather give them, but i don't usually give them bc i never have money when it's time62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ORANGE!63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? no64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? lars66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i have SAD soooo68: what's winter like where you live? FUCKING HORRIBLE, but it's worse in other places69: what are your favorite board games? ive been missing guess who? lately70: have you ever used a ouija board? no, but my math teacher says u have to make it from a certain wood and put a spell on it for it to work... too much work 😩71: what's your favorite kind of tea? lipton lemon!!!!!72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i try to note everything down, but sometimes i can remember things w/o writing them down73: what are some of your worst habits? staying in bed for too long74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. bye75: tell us about your pets! i have a dog, and she's old af lmao i never rly liked her idk i hate dogs76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? homework and probably calling up my new job to see when i have to go in.. cant be arsed.. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? FANCLUB!!! (:79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?lars gave me cute cat headphones80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white.. i didn't choose it81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i can't rn82: are/were you good in school? i made it into university, so i guess so83: what's some of your favorite album art? the devin n god are raging inside of me // brand new .. cant think of many in particular84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? one in remembrance of my friend who died and a full sleeve85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YES YES YESSSS MANSON 'S CONCEPTS R SO GOOD (: 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? idk88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i just rly like frida kahlo89: are you close to your parents? no90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i want to visit/live in philly so badly ):91: where do you plan on traveling this year? texas92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i only put a little fresh mozz on it if there is quite a bit93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? i just wear my hair the same everyday94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? lars95: what are your plans for this weekend? none96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? omfg i had 20 or so awaiting updates last summer that i had to finally do bc it was fucking up my computer97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? what98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont hike99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. NOBODY'S PERFECT BY HANNAH MONTANA100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 yrs into the future.. why would i want to relive the last 5 yrs of life ?? idk im just fine living w my past mistakes.. they've shaped me

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1nkweaver · 6 years

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DnD Question Masterpost: Pick

Here we go again

If your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead?

Pick really enjoys playing the drums so he would have actually enjoyed being a performer like a bard or part of a band or something. Being a goblin probably makes that kind of hard though.

Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life?

I would say mostly Kai because Kai wouldn’t want anyone in the party to die he’s quite sure, but knows deep down someone like Ida would save him and that pisses him off. He wants to be responsible for himself and not a burden on someone else.

What are your character’s core moral beliefs?

I should help the people that help me, and I want to make sure that what happened to me never happens to anyone else ever again. He’s Chaotic Good I believe, so he’s more inclined to helping people but he’s very ‘do to others as what is done to you.’

What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings?

Pick had a lot of siblings in his clan and probably didn’t know who his parents were? I always imagine that Goblins just kinda...breed a whole lot. In a way your whole clan is basically your family, but it’s very competitive, so he probably didn’t care for them really. There was however another goblin he ended up meeting named Sprout who was like a sister to him.

Does your character have any biases for or against certain races?

He has a particular bone to pick with half orcs and elves, and a very complicated view on humanity as they have been both the best and worst to him. Honestly a lot of the more normal races he is inherently...jealous of, I suppose? He likes the freaks, weirdos, or small folk, which thankfully covers most of the party.

What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority?

Fuuuuuuck that shit dude. The little people are gunna rise up and tear that shit down.

Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

Standing at about 3′6′’ Pick has a sort of cloak/jacket with short sleeves and a hood that’s kind of a grayish blue, and then down his arms is various bandage wrappings, then his iconic bright red gloves. Under everything he has his leather armor which is dark blue, almost black, with a few little vials slipped into sleeves.A tunic under the armor which is what he mostly wears when not wearing armor. Handaxes strapped onto the back of his armor in his belt hidden away, a belt, simple tight trousers and little boots with buckles and a dagger in it.

He has red tinted goggles and a scarf that he uses to hide his face when in town, and a strange big bundled up thing on his back at all times. He has yellowsh green skin, messy dark blue almost black hair, dagger like ears, snarled teeth, and a bat like nose with yellow eyes and red slit pupils. He has four fingers and toes, and a cow-like tail. His face is covered in dark green freckles and his whole body is covered with various scars, mostly on his palms and under arms, but also has a split lip and a large scar on his torso.

What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

I believe he and Anders may have spent some time in the town of Daggerford, or at least a small town near it, which Pick really enjoyed. The environment was nice and being close to the ocean was cool.

What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship?

Pick doesn’t care too much about the worship of gods by other people, but has a specific disdain for clerics and people who use healing magic, refusing to let it be used on him entirely. For himself, he takes a tip from game of thrones, “There is only one god and they are death, and what do we say to death? Not today.” That’s the majority of his faith, but he is at least a little spiritual.

If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be?

He really likes his drums so I could see him maybe wanting to learn a new instrument, but he also would really like to take up sketching- not painters tools per se, but like little charcoal drawings perhaps. I think he’s mostly just unaware of what things you can learn otherwise I think he’d want to learn a lot! Music, tinkers tools, thieves tools, smithing? Sewing? He’d find it all interesting in the end.

What is your character’s current goal, summed up in one sentence?

Find him, and find him.

Does your character ever want to “settle down” with a spouse, children, house, etc.?

I think if Pick spent enough time thinking about it he’d realize that he does, but he needs to learn a few things first, he doesn’t know what it’s like to have a spouse and children really, he’d need someone to teach him what that’s like.

Has your character ever been in love?

I think he has but he doesn’t have a frame of reference for what love is.

What battle in the campaign has been most memorable to your character?

His introduction! Being introduced to the campaign as a pit fighter is great because you get to really play up the crowd, which includes your future party- and then I got chased by guards! haha, I’m in danger!

If your character wasn’t whatever class they are, what would they be instead?

Before Pick became a bloodhunter he was a different class! He would have been a Champion Fighter.

What is your character’s favorite season?

He likes the summer, the warmth is nice and it’s just the best choice in his mind out of the four. Spring has too much irritating pollen, winter is too cold, fall feels depressing. I suppose Pick is a sweet summer child.

What would your character’s Zodiac sign be, following stereotypical astrology?

Pick is a cancer

Where in the world does your character most want to visit?

He doesn’t know many places, he’s heard of cities like Waterdeep and Neverwinter which are interesting, and Baldur’s Gate has seemed kind of cool. But where he wants to visit he doesn’t know where it is, he’s looking for it.

What is the biggest mistake your character has ever made?

He wasn’t strong enough.

Does your character have any noticeable scars? If so, what are their stories?

Covered in scars all over his body, like a split lip and various other wounds (probably has torn up ears, etc) but the worthwhile story ones are:

-Cuts on his palms and arms from using his blood rites, and also emotional issues

-Scars on the back of his hands that he wont show anyone

-A wound on his torso from his time with Anders, either a bite mark or puncture wound

What animal best represents your character?

A big cat like a lion or tiger that you would see in the zoo.

If your character could go back in time and change one thing about their life, what would it be?

Not have gotten fucking caught.

Which other player character does your character find themselves having the most in common with?

He see’s a lot of himself in Jin’s personality, and in Ida for other reasons.

Does your character regret any particular choice the party has made?

Haven’t spent much time with the party but he fears staying in Baldur’s Gate for a few extra days might bite them in the ass.

What would your character say their best trait would be?

His tenacity probably. The boy doesn’t know when to quit, in a fight or in other areas, he’ll keep pushing and pushing. If someone is asking him to back off though that’s a different story and he will.

What is your character’s greatest fear? Deep, irrational?

Pick cannot stand silence for too long, especially for sleeping, there needs to be noise, and so he normally absentmindedly is playing his drums in like a stimming way or even like an OCD tendency. He also doesn’t like closed off spaces.

What is currently motivating your character to stay with the party?

He was told to find them, basically, by someone he trusts.

What are your character’s hobbies and interests outside of their class?

He really does enjoy playing his drum, it makes him happy in a way that fighting doesn’t. Even if he’s not an artist he also likes to draw. He also personally loves to collect things like badges and medals, signs of authority. He finds it funny.

What would most people think when they first see your character?

What the fuck is this little angry man (if disguised) or maybe “Oh fuck a goblin?”

What stereotypical group role does your character play in the party? (The Mom, the Mess, the Comic Relief, etc. Optionally: What role would your character play in the “Five Man Band” structure?)

I guess right now he’s the guy that’s...forcing everyone to get their shit out, but he’s also kinda the loose cannon spitfire to accompany Jin.

What is your character the most insecure about?

He knows he’s inherently aggressive and thereby normally unlikable. He’s aware that he like talks to much and is kinda brazen and out there and sometimes he wishes he could like...cool it for a hot second.

What person does your character admire most?

Anders. It’s no question.

Why is your character’s lowest stat their lowest (the in-character reason, not “because there’s no reason for a wizard to have 16 strength, duh”)?

I made Pick’s lowest stat charisma because while I think he has a charismatic way of speaking he’s also meant to come off as kind of graty and annoying because he’s so IN YOUR FACE about things, that and the fact that as a goblin I dont see him as being particularly attractive, and so puts people off just based on his race alone.

What would be your character’s theme song/favorite band/favorite genre of music?

Hard rock or punk music, and anything with some really sick drum riffs. I think he could like anyone from Muse to AC/DC

What stereotypical role would your character play in a high school AU/if they attended a normal high school? (Nerd, jock, bully, goth, etc.)

He’s kind of jocky, like I can see him being sporty but almost...picked on by the other jocks because of his size? He might also be like the “bad boy”

What treasure/item/artifact that your character has collected during the adventure is the most important to them?

The thing on his back for sure, that he keeps all bundled up.

Is there any particular weapon, item, etc. that your character longs to find?

He’d love to find something that could change how he looks like a hat of disguise ( that he doesn’t know the party has) or just something that allows him to...be different visually I guess. In terms of weapons I mean I think he’d love any kind of badass sounding weapon, like a sword that catches on fire. Or a sentient weapon, he’d think that’s SUPER COOL.

Where does your character feel the most at home?

In a tent in the middle of the woods by the campfire with Anders.

Does your character care about how they’re perceived by others? How do they change themselves to fit in with other people?

He both really cares about it and really doesn’t. He used to have some resentment issues of like “I wish I wasn’t a goblin” but Anders tried to squash that feeling in him and it mostly worked. He is trying to love himself but also I think feels he’s incapable of like...getting actual love from someone bc he’s a goblin.

What does your character think is the true meaning of life?

He was asked that a while ago and he’s still trying to figure it out before he meets that person again.

What is your character’s scent? (Bonus points for a description that sounds like it could be from a bad [or awesome] fanfic.)

God he probably smells disgusting. He doesn’t really bathe much and he’s all dirty and covered in dried blood and other shit...he probably smells really bad and smells a lot like gore or blood.

Does your character think more with their heart or their brain?

He would say he thinks with his gut, but with that not an option I’d default to heart.

What is your character’s most recent or frequent nightmare?

Being back in that place again.

What opinion does your character have on [CERTAIN ESTABLISHED GROUPS/AUTHORITIES IN THE GAME WORLD]? (Dragonmarked Houses, royal crown, etc.)

Pick has learned that there are certain power structures that are enjoyed by the elites of society that he really, really hates. They dont stand for good things and only seek to exploit, and he wants that to end, mostly through him committing a lot of violence on some people.

How did your character spend their childhood? Where did they grow up/who were their childhood friends?

Pick grew up in the north with his goblin clan, though most of his memories from that time aren’t super well known. A lot of them were his siblings, cousins etc, and he was regarded with a little respect as he was a bit smarter than the average goblin, so he was good at trapping and hunting. The rest is a blur.

What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

Where the fuck is he.

What colors are associated with your character?

Red red red, and like faded steel grays and blues.

Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, in dire circumstances?

Probably Kai or Siril, but more in a stand in between them and an enemy rather than like, pulling them out of a burning building.

Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

Somewhere between pathos and ethos but mostly ethos, he wouldn’t really speak on things that weren’t in his knowledge base.

If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for?

God I dont know if one use of wish is enough. I suppose he’d get started by using it to finish the task that was given to him.

What is your character’s favorite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favorite personal weapon/combat maneuver/skill/etc.?

He only uses it as a last resort, and it hasn’t come to that yet.

How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

Pick fucking hates secrets. He wants everyone’s shit out and in the open including his own as soon as possible because he needs to know if they can help him or not.

What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by?

Since his becoming a blood hunter, which he doesn’t really know that’s what he is, he’s found himself drawn to their specific quarries, and he’s curious about why that is. Things like fey, fiends, etc.

When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?

Pick dreamed of being the “leader” but figured he’d die way before that happened.

The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond?

Doesn’t matter who it is because clearly you’re just making a joke at him.

If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with?

Oh he’d 100% go with the person from his past because he’s only with the party to get back to them. He’s just not been with the party long enough to care.

Does your character value their own best interest more than the party’s?

Most definitely, he just met them and I think unless things get real serious real fast it will be that way for a while.

What decision would the party have to make in order for your character to consider splitting off from the group?

Not respecting the boundaries he set, or doing to someone what was done to him.

How does your character imagine the way they will die?

Right now he’s holding on to the fact that he can’t, and wont, and will go kicking and screaming against a God if he has to to not.

What is your character’s greatest achievement?

Surviving, through everything. Being a champion when he was supposed to be the fodder.

Is your character willing to risk the well-being of others in order to achieve their goal?

Yeah I think he’d consider it the greater good.

What is your character’s opinion on killing others?

There’s some people that really need to die like right now, no issue with killing whatsoever.

What is your character’s favorite food? Beverage?

I think he’d like something savory over something sweet, definitely something nice and buttery like a really good corn on the cob.

How generous is your character? Especially to those they don’t know?

His twitch instinct is to be an asshole, and then immediately feel bad and try to do something nice and be giving. He was told that the thing you do second is who you really are, and your gut reaction is what you were taught. He’s trying to reteach himself.

What is your character the most envious about, regarding anyone in the party?

How someone can have so much more than him and not even understand how good they had it, and then still seem so upset.

The player character to your left and the player character to your right are both telling your character two different versions of the truth. Who does your character believe?

Whatever version of the story is more exciting or funny.

What is your character’s sexuality/relationship with sex?

I think sex to him is a very like...animalistic instinctual thing? Kinda just by nature of being a goblin I think he really feels the need to have sex in that sake. But also I think sex might have been messed up in his brain, and so now he’s just all confused about it. He needs someone to teach him what healthy sexual experiences are. If he explored that he would discover he is probably homosexual.

What is your character’s biggest pet peeve?

Someone who always thinks they know the best thing to do, a self appointed leader. Someone who writes off others.

Describe how your character feels about the party’s current situation/objective/etc.

What exactly are you all doing?? Do you actually want me here?? Why are you all so dang secretive even with each other, how the fuck is this going to work.

Who in the party would your character trust the most to keep an important secret?

Siril, I think of the percy quote “Your secret is safe with my indifference” and I think that’s just how Siril would treat a secret.

If your character knew that they were going to die in a month, how would they spend the rest of their life?

He’d be doubling down on what he has to do because now theres a time limit put on it. Or he’d have to find someone he trusted real fast to get them to do it. He’d also probably be crying a lot.

What makes your character feel safe?

An open space, being able to choose where he can go at any given moment.

If your character had the chance to rename the party/give the party a name, no questions asked, what would it be?

The Breakfast Club

What memory does your character want to forget the most?

I think it was too long to be able to forget all of it, but lets go with the first night.

If your character had to multiclass into a class they currently aren’t the next time they level up, what would it be and what reason would they have for doing so?

Fighter, it’s the closest to what he is and it would basically just be a case of “going back to basics” with what he used to know.

What television/book/video game/etc. character would your character be best friends with? (Or: what media character is your character the most influenced by/similar to?

Deadpool

What unusual talents does your character possess?

I always thought his skill with alchemy and the drums would impress people, and I like to think maybe he can do like weird body things like pop a joint out or contort his body in a weird way to freak people out.

How does your character feel about receiving/giving orders? Are they more of a leader, or a follower?

It’s the most complicated thing for him because he’s gone back and forth being in charge and being a follower, and he’s followed good people and bad people. He understands orders are needed but also sometimes someone tells him what to do and it just makes him absolutely snap.

What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

“He’s small, green, crunchy and sweet (or sour), he’s Pickle!” sung like a jingle to a commercial.

Is your character more of an introvert, or an extrovert?

I think he’s pretty damn extroverted.

How far is your character willing to go to pursue the “greater good”? Do they believe in a greater good at all?

He’s prepared to go pretty damn far, and that’s also what I think Anders saw in him, because Anders was also just as willing.

What does your character want to be remembered by?

That that stupid little goblin that everyone overlooked fucking won.

What would be your character’s major in college?

Chemistry? Or maybe music, because he likes music a lot. I think he’d honestly maybe just drop out tho lol.

Does your character consider themselves a hero, villain, or something else?

I’d say maybe he’s an Antihero? Or like a vigilante kind of deal? He likes seeing people he hates consider him their own personal villain tho.

What major arcana tarot card best represents your character?

I’ll go with....judgement

Where does your character see themselves in 20 years?

Hopefully with all of this long behind him, everything is solved and he’s got a ton of gold and anything else he wants.

What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it?

All magic was made to hurt people.

Who is your character’s biggest rival?

Sebastian.

What is your character’s guiltiest pleasure?

That he enjoys hurting people for money in fighting rings. Like he’s got this weird pleasure with gore and crushing bones and things like that, but then also really hates that he likes it, he thinks he’s fucked up.

What does your character hope for the afterlife?

I think it scares him so he ignores it. I guess he hopes he’s seen as doing what was right.

Who in the party does your character trust the least?

Siril, just because he’s unpredictable.

What is your character’s biggest flaw?

He’s someone that needs help and knows he needs help but he’s both too aggressive and too prideful to ask for it.

How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

Raised knowing goblin and he just knows common otherwise babey.

What is your character’s favorite school of magic/type of weaponry?

He really does take a liking to using his axes, but I think he’s still trying to find the perfect weapon, they’re all interesting. He wishes he could just punch things but he’s not that strong.

What is most important to your character: health, wealth, or happiness?

Happiness, wealth, health. Fuck health it’s always shit.

What advice would your character give to a younger version of themselves?

You are way way stronger than you think you are, fight.

Are there any social or political issues your character feels strongly about?

I think if he learned that theres certain power structures in place in the world that are pseudo-legal he’d get very very upset.

What, currently, is your character the most curious about?

How the fuck do I talk to Ida

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