#it still feels so recent.... time has passed by so quickly haha

[meownotgood]

happy one year since chainsaw man, I miss you so much... <3

[f1letters]

labyrinth | aa23

"uh-oh, I'm falling in love, oh no, I'm falling in love again"

summary: it's safe to say she wasn't expecting to fall in love so quickly after just ending a five-year relationship, but alex albon was just everything she needed without even realizing it

warning: overall fluff with a little hint of angst, rom-com vibes, brother's best friend, recent breakup, mentions of falling out of love with someone, reader's ex has a name (Harry), mentions of Alex breaking his collarbone when he was cycling with George (I still remember laughing so hard when I read about this lol), reader completely clueless that her feelings are reciprocated, big romantic gesture in the end, swearing

pairing: alex albon x russell!reader

word count: 3.9k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

living for the rom-com content this week! haha, I hope everyone enjoys their daily dose of sweet, fluffy, perfect alex because he owns my heart and I'm always a sucker for the brother's best friend trope! haha

masterlist

"It only hurts this much right now"

Was what I was thinkin' the whole time

Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out

I'll be gettin' over you my whole life

Having the painful realization that you fell out of love with someone you still adore immensely feels almost like losing touch with reality for a moment.

All of a sudden, your entire life changes.

You find yourself loving old memories more than the opportunity to create new ones. 

You feel afraid of leaving all the plans and all the dreams you spoke of fulfilling behind.

You realize you're trapped in the past, stuck in the old idea you still have preciously stored in your head of how they used to be.

Y/N felt like she was losing a part of herself now that Harry was gone.

It was five years together after all. Five years of ups and downs, of laughter and tears, of happiness and anger, of dreams and nightmares.

But as much as she tried to find the butterflies she felt at the beginning in every detail of him, when the young woman looked at her long-time partner she could only see traces of what they once were.

Stupidly, it hurt more that they'd broken up on nice terms. Maybe if they'd had a dramatic, fiery ending she'd have had an easier time moving on.

But fuck, he was still one of the best people she'd ever met. Things just weren't working anymore and their paths didn't seem to align anymore.

Y/N was more than convinced that she would be getting over him her whole life.

At that point, her only source of sanity was her brother's unconditional support. Well... Sanity might have been a strong term.

George had become a true helicopter brother, constantly glued to her side, even if it meant dragging her around the world with him.

It had been a month since Y/N and Harry had been separated and the girl had managed to cross three continents in that time. What a fancy way to deal with heartbreak.

But in one of the few moments when the younger Russell managed to escape her sibling's watchful eyes, Y/N found herself with tears in her eyes, her heart shattered on the floor and her head spinning.

As much as she tried to suppress the sobs that were coming out of her mouth, her cries did not go unnoticed by the attentive ears of the Thai driver who passed by the Mercedes motorhome on his way to visit his best friend.

You know how scared I am of elevators

Never trust it if it rises fast

It can't last

Taking a detour from his previously planned route, Alex carefully approached the crying girl, placing a hand on her forearm which made her turn towards him abruptly.

He felt a tightness in his chest as soon as he saw her smudged, red eyes. "Hey little Russ, are you okay?"

Y/N quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her black long sleeve, putting on a forced smile. "Alex, hey! Oh, it's nothing, I'm okay. Don't worry."

"You were always a terrible liar, you know that?" The boy leaned against the wall, his eyes still fixed on hers. "You can talk to me, Y/N. I promise I'll take your secrets to the grave. Scout's honour!"

The young woman laughed. She knew that the driver was someone she could trust. After all, he had been a constant presence in her life for many years now through George, even if she was never that close to him.

"It's so... Stupid, I feel ridiculous." She confessed, looking up at the open sky and letting out a sad sigh. "Harry is seeing someone new."

"Harry as in your bore of an ex Harry?" She rolled her eyes but nodded yes. "Damn, already? Do you think... Do you think he was already seeing her before you split?"

"No, he wouldn't." The girl spoke. "The thing is neither of us was happy in that relationship, and I know we made the right choice, but... It doesn't hurt any less to see the person who was with you for years move on."

Not knowing exactly what moved him to do so, Alex let his hand run along her soft hair in an act of comfort. Y/N found herself feeling a familiar feeling in her stomach, although she wasn't sure what it was.

"Look, don't waste your time dwelling on that." The driver said as he continued to play with the ends of her locks. "I'm sure that someday he won't be more than a distant memory and that you have a bright future waiting for you with someone who makes you feel like the best version of yourself."

"Alex Albon, what an amazing motivational speech, who knew you were so poetic!" She made him laugh and then hugged him from the side, resting her face on his arm. "But really, thank you. I needed this."

"Anytime, little Russ." He rested his face on the top of her head momentarily, only to push away almost immediately. "So, ready to see your brother get his ass kicked today?"

Y/N felt her palms sweat as she walked next to the boy on their way to her brother, still confused about the sudden effect Thai had on her.

It's just a moment of weakness, it won't last, she tried to convince herself, he's your brother's best friend for God's sake.

Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love

Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again

Oh, I'm fallin' in love

I thought the plane was goin' down

How'd you turn it right around?

From that moment on, and for some reason mysterious to both of them, they seemed to seek each other out whenever the occasion presented itself.

Y/N would purposefully extend her path to Mercedes on race days in hopes of passing Alex by Williams to wish him luck.

And boy, if Alex didn't make an effort to spend as much time outside the motorhome as possible praying that the girl who he couldn't get out of his head would show up, even if she always had George next to her.

In the middle of all their yearning, the two had started an unspoken tradition during the weeks that followed, which made them feel all warm and fuzzy inside in true puppy love fashion.

On another Sunday like all the others, Alex was lost in conversation with Lando in front of his team's motorhome when - to his shock - he saw the girl about to pass by him... Alone?

Leaving his friend behind with just a few words and a confused look on the British driver's face, Alex hurried over to her, putting his arm around the girl's shoulders.

"Well, well, well... What do we have here? A rare sight of Y/N without her bodyguard?" He spoke with a mischievous smirk.

"Yeah, looks like I got left behind today." Y/N chuckled, eyes twinkling in his direction.

"I never seem to get you alone around these parts. Is Georgie really that controlling?" Alex laughed, knowing full well that his friend had always been very protective of his sister. 

Yikes, if he only knew the way his best friend thought about her now.

"So you wanted to get me alone, unh?" Y/N teased the man, without controlling the flirtatious energy with which her question came out of her mouth.

Alex was taken aback but didn't hesitate to respond with the same tone. "And what if I wanted to?"

"Didn't know you were such a flirt, Albon!" She said, teasingly. "My brother, on the other hand, might not be very happy that his best friend is trying to make a move on his baby sister." The girl stated with a serious look, although her mouth still revealed a smirk.

"He doesn't need to know." The driver said as he started walking back to the building, but not before turning to her again and speaking. "If you don't have plans tonight, let's do something. What do you say?"

"I'll think about it." She said, grinning from ear to ear. "Good luck, lover boy."

Uh-oh, I'm falling in love, she realized as her heart pounded in her chest.

It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile

Y/N really thought of not going. 

It would've spared her the inevitable heartbreak she was going to go through when her brother eventually found out that she had feelings for Alex.

But on the spur of the moment, the young woman chose to worry about her fears later and take her chances, as she stormed out of her hotel room towards the driver's.

Y/N knocked on his door nervously and it only took a few seconds for Alex to show up, with only his shorts on, his hair dishevelled and his toned chest on full display.

"Y/N, you came," he said, an obviously surprised look on his face. "I thought you had bailed."

Oh great, he has someone in there with him, she thought as soon as she saw the strands of his golden hair all tousled. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you had company. I'm going to g-"

"What?" He asked lost until he realized the state he was in. "Oh no, no, no! I ended up falling asleep when I realized you weren't com- Or rather when I thought you weren't coming. Please, come in."

The girl entered the room, studying her surroundings while Alex put on a sweatshirt.

"I honestly had lost all hope that you were going to show up," He chuckled timidly. "But I'm so glad you proved me wrong."

After some discussion, the two ended up settling on ordering room service and rewatching The Office - obsessed with the show they had seen it dozens of times over the years - while they ate their late dinner sitting on his giant bed and talked to each other about everything.

"Why did you guys go cycling into the middle of the forest... If the brakes on the fucking bike didn't work?" Tears were now streaming down the girl's eyes, she was laughing so hard at the story Alex was telling her.

"Hey, stop laughing! I broke my collarbone!" The driver already felt stomach pains from laughing so hard and he pushed her until she fell backwards onto the mattress. "And you should know I saved your brother's ass! I gave him the good bike and that's how the universe thanked me!"

"Stop, stop!" She remained laying on the bed, arms hugging her stomach. "I can't laugh anymore or I swear I'll pass out."

Lying down next to her, Alex looked at the girl with passionate eyes. "I'm glad me breaking a bone at least made you break a smile."

At that moment, lost in his gaze, Y/N knew she was in too deep and there was no way back.

You know how much I hate

That everybody just expects me to bounce back

Just like that

Now that the two had already crossed the line and they had spent time one on one, the two friends - or so they liked to call themselves, their feelings still hidden from both parties - were inseparable.

Whenever they could they found themselves together: whether it was within four walls late at night just enjoying each other's company, or exploring cities around the world after getting rid of George with a lame excuse.

So, when Y/N received a message from the driver inviting her to dinner, she wasn't surprised or questioned anything.

It was at a restaurant where the two had already been several times in Monaco along with other friends, so the girl just assumed that the same would happen this time around too.

However, hours later, when she questioned George about his plans for that evening - convinced that her question would spark a debate about rides to the restaurant - the words that came out of his mouth quickly made her realize that she had the wrong idea all along.

"I'll probably just stay home and play with the boys. Well, other than Alex, apparently he has a hot date today with some girl he's been all mysterious about."

A d- d- date. Was this supposed to be a date?!

"Oh." She felt her face go white in shock, something that thankfully went unnoticed by her brother as he was glued to his phone. "I- I'll be right back."

The girl ran upstairs to her room and grabbed her cell phone to reread Alex's message.

From: lover boy

what do you think about dinner with your favourite guy tonight at blue bay, 7pm? 👀 

All of a sudden, her palms got sweaty, her heart rate started to increase, and she started to feel apprehensive.

Of course, she had already come to terms with the fact that she had feelings for him but him liking her back?

Surely it was nothing more than a misunderstanding and tonight was nothing more than a dinner between friends.

Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love

Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again

Oh, I'm fallin' in love

I thought the plane was goin' down

How'd you turn it right around?

The hours passed and she found herself dolled up in a simple long blue dress on her way to where Alex was waiting for her completely alone and more beautiful than ever.

It was a date, there was no question about it.

Alex held out his hand for her to help her out of the taxi and kept it in Y/N's as he looked at her in astonishment. "Jesus, you- You look... Incredible. Fucking incredible really. Shall we go in, little Russ?"

With the simple use of the nickname he always used, Y/N closed herself within her walls as she remembered how wrong she was for going after Alex on her brother's back.

And with that remembrance alone, the date was already ruined before it even started.

For a couple of hours, the two sat at a glamorous table making small, forced talk. Even Alex gave up trying to keep the conversation going when he realized she wasn't feeling it.

The driver felt like the dumbest person on the planet at that moment: not only had he broken his best friend's trust, but he had done it just to have his heart broken in the end.

The silence continued on the ride home, with Alex offering to drive her back like a true gentleman even after the whole dinner fiasco. After a few torturous minutes, he stopped the car and she put her hand on the door handle so fast his heart only shattered more.

"Well, thanks for dinner." She said, her eyes glued to her lap afraid to face him. "I- I'll see you soon, good night."

Alex saw her get out of his Mercedes but unable to accept that this was it, the driver jumped out of the driver's seat towards her. "Wait!"

The girl turned back, coming face to face with the dishevelled image of the boy rushing towards her.

"What went wrong tonight?" Alex asked distraught, letting his hand run through his hair. "I thought I was pretty clear that I cared a lot about you. Hell, I thought you felt the same way. Did I misunderstand things between us that badly all these months we spent together?"

Oh no, I'm falling in love again, she thought to herself and dread filled her from top to bottom like a shiver.

"I'm sorry, Alex," She said, still unable to look at him, especially now that tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. "But I just can't do this right now."

And without even answering, Alex simply walked away.

Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love

Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again

Oh, I'm fallin' in love

I thought the plane was goin' down

How'd you turn it right around?

After spending months on end talking every day, it all became radio silent.

Y/N couldn't help but blame herself for ending up hurt. He'd put his heart on the line and confronted the undeniable feelings between them, only for her to let fear drive her and ruin everything.

She was the only one responsible for the sudden lump she felt in her throat, for the heaviness of her heart and for the wave of sadness that hit her.

It only got worse when a week later she saw his misery-written face on yet another race weekend, as she got choked with tears, thanks to the painful distance now set between them.

One week turned into two and those feelings of hopelessness and melancholy were still in the air, something that did not escape George's watchful eye.

Taking his place on the sofa next to the girl wrapped in a blanket drinking tea, the elder Russell sat down without much care and let out an exhausted sigh.

"Crikey, what's up with everyone? I swear you've all been in a bad mood lately." He said, without getting a response back. "Did you and Alex plan to get all depressed together or something? Jesus."

The girl gulped at 'her and Alex' and 'together' being in the same sentence, as she tried to keep her concentration on the movie that was on TV.

"He's been all upset since he went on that date I told you about. Apparently, it was a complete failure and now I'll never know who the girl was." George laughed, shaking his head. "I never understood the secrecy. It's not like he went out with you or som-"

Unconsciously, Y/N turned her face towards the large glass window embarrassed but quickly realized that her reaction had given her away.

"Oh, my God," George spoke slowly, trying to accept what he had just realized. "It was you?"

"It doesn't matter now." She finally seemed to get her voice back. "It was a silly decision but it's over anyways."

"What happened?"

"It's over, I told you. I never should have even developed feelings for him." Y/N looked into her brother's eyes, tears forming. "I knew he was your best friend and I still didn't put a stop to things. I'm so so sorry, G."

"Y/N…" The driver leaned against the back of the sofa and brought his hand to his forehead. "Please tell me you didn't break his heart because you thought I would be bothered by you guys going out."

Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love

Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again

Oh, I'm fallin' in love

I thought the plane was goin' down

How'd you turn it right around?

"Just now you were saying the only reason he should hide a date is if he was going to go out with me!" The girl's voice rose. "Of course, I had to put a stop to it before things went too far!"

"I said it was the only reason he WOULDN'T tell me, not that he SHOULD hide it!" Her brother screamed along with her.

The two sat silently contemplating each other's words until George spoke. "Little sis, I'm sorry to break it to you but I think things have gone too far just by looking at your broken faces these past days."

Oh, he's right, I'm definitely falling in love, she finally accepted.

"Alex is one of the best people I know and I trust him with my life. I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my sister's side if you guys love each other." The man said, his hands resting on each of her shoulders. "Go for it and get him back."

Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love

Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again

Oh, I'm fallin' in love

Speeding as if her life depended on it, Y/N reached the house of the boy who had her heart and knocked incessantly on his door.

"Calm down, who the f-" Alex opened the door, ready to argue with the person on the other side until he realized it was her. "Y/N."

"Before you send me away, please listen to what I have to say." Y/N pleaded while Alex observed the girl. 

She was in his doorway, still wearing her pyjamas, fluffy pink slippers on her feet, with a beanie and a scarf that she at least remembered to grab on her way out or she wouldn't have survived the cold.

"I was a complete idiot for letting you go that night. What I should have done was run after you, begged for a second chance and told you that I'm falling for you and have been since the day you found me crying in the back of that motorhome."

"I was at my worst and you still managed to put me back together and turn it right around. You are literally the man of my dreams. You have everything I want and need in a partner, and I never should have let this drag on for so long in the first place. So please, give me a chance to show you how happy and great we can be together."

The two seemed frozen at the moment, with their hearts on their sleeves and eyes filled with love and hope for a happy ending, until they heard someone from inside the house clearing their throat.

Turning to face his living room, Y/N now noticed the group of drivers - and unfortunately friends of her brother as well - with sly smiles on their faces. "Oh God, please kill me now."

"It was quite the speech, Russell, but maybe we should go." Lando spoke, grinning at the girl, as he, Charles, Pierre and Carlos left the apartment.

"I will never show my face in the paddock again." She said to Alex, covering her face with her hands.

The Thai affectionately removed her hands, intertwining them with his, and approached her, with a smile the size of the world. "I don't know. I agree with Lando, it was quite the speech indeed."

Without thinking twice, and before he could change his mind, Y/N placed her lips on his in a kiss that both of them had been craving for months.

And the moment their mouths met, they both discovered what it was like to feel that one person was their home.

"What about George?" Alex questioned, pulling away slightly from her.

"He almost pushed me out of the house to come here and make things right." The girl laughed, circling the tall boy's waist with her arms.

"Well, little Russ, looks like I'm going to have to buy Georgie dinner as a 'thank you'." He chuckled, grateful for his best friend. "Or should I say, my future brother-in-law?"

"Calm down, lover boy. I've been here for a few minutes." They laughed together, wrapped up in each other. "We have all the time in the world to think about the future."

Sometimes it only takes one painful heartbreak to help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for.

I thought the plane was goin' down

How'd you turn it right around?

taglist: @dan3avocado @starxqt @roseinnej @spiidergirlsworld @ccloaned @hotpigeon22 @dr3lover @lovelytsunoda @primadonnasdream @luxebeautystyle @wallfloweriism @ilivefortheleague @gwynethhberdara @satellitelh @adavenus @audreyscodes @wifeoflucyboynton @th6ccnsp6cyy @classifiedsblog @flyingmushroomss @motylekrozi @claramllera @gabrielamaex @handsupforamiracle @pierre-gasssllyy @lorenaloveslewis

@idkiwantchocolatee @simpforsunwoo @kissatelier @xweirdxsceletton @micksmidnights @miniminescapist @inchidentwithmax @hopelesslyromantics-world @alwaysclassyeagle @indieclarke @capela-miranda @okokoksblog @pulpfixion @sins-only33 @sainzclerc @allisonxf1 @honethatty12

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(taglist continues in the comments)

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

[valaruakars]

Let's Get Physical (Part 7)

Viktor/F!Reader || 6.3k || Modern!AU + Gym!AU || SFW

Bitches hate you for your overzealous approach to supporting your friends and deeply anxious behavior. Viktor is not bitches.

A/N: Omg. We're here. We're back on our bullshit. Thank you to everyone who beta'd and/or provided me free therapy about this for that past um... seven months. Oops. Thank you to everyone who reached out over the (unintentional) hiatus with encouraging comments and asks. I hope you'll understand why I took so long to handle this with care and unpack some of my own issues. Very cathartic. Would recommend.

Part 1 → Part 2  → Part 3 → Part 4  → Part 5 → Part 5.2 (nsfw) → Part 6  → Part 7 (Ao3 Link)

Before you know it, two weeks and a day have passed. They make no palpable difference. 

Except maybe in your quadriceps. 

The same weights you’ve been using feel almost effortless, too easy. You don’t fatigue as quickly into heavy breathing and the urge to cheat yourself a rep or two—not lunging with the dumbbell gripped at one of its wide ends, not squatting while it’s clutched close to your chest. It’s suddenly not enough. 

Nobody’s around to see it, but progress is progress. Turns out, you’ve finally graduated to heavier weights on this lonely leg day you’ve committed to. 

That’s a bit of a misnomer, though. The day is mostly past you now. It’s evening—crisp and wispy, sky like striated fire outside the garage—and as the sun sets, you’re reminded of the late start you’re up against. All because you forgot something. 

A good attitude is optional. A scrunchie you can live without. But your shoes? Leave them forgettably kicked off in two different directions on your bedroom floor and you’re fucked. It’s a small miracle you’re here, dragging around weight plates, setting up a barbell. There was a very real danger of tripping and falling into bed—totally by accident, never to get up again—when you drove home and stomped upstairs to grab them. 

But whether or not he knows it, likely the latter, Viktor keeps you accountable when no one else can. It’s because the only running you truly love is the risk of seeing him, which still requires proper footwear. And for you to leave the house. 

Though by the time you whipped into the driveway and thrust the gear shift into park, it’s empty. He’d left already; you didn’t get to see him off on his reluctant shuffle through the garage. But lucky you—he tends to come straight home after physical therapy. Call it friendly concern that you’re paying attention. 

It’s probably an odd way to think about a friend. You need to work on that. 

Your phone vibrates dully on the padded bench beside you. Nearly knocking your water over in the process, you grab it to find a text from Jayce—the usual culprit. You slide it open, accidentally brushing the top of the screen with shaky fingers. It catapults you to the beginning of your most recent messages before you can read the new one. 

Mon, Oct 10

[Jayce Talis, 5:56am]: Did you leave the back door unlocked last night? [Jayce Talis, 5:57am]: And the pool lights on? [Jayce Talis, 5:57am]: Was Viktor in the pool?

[7:32am]: Holy shit. Good morning. [7:33am]: No, no, and why do you think I know these things??

[Jayce Talis, 7:45am]: Sorry, it’s all good. He’s alive. 

[7:46am]: ???????

[Jayce Talis, 7:49am]: You guys didn’t hang out after I left? 

[7:57am]: Idk if you would consider it that. [8:02am]: But has anyone invited him to cards on Saturday??

[Jayce Talis, 8:17am]: He already said no. [Jayce Talis, 8:18am]: Although… [Jayce Talis, 8:19am]: You could try telling him it’s strip poker. Haha :) 

[8:20am]: Blocked. Reported. Banned. NOT DOING THAT.

[Jayce Talis, 8:21am]: No wait! I was kidding. He’s not a creep :(

Tue, Oct 11

[Jayce Talis, 3:38pm]: Wait did you actually block me? 

[3:50pm]: Yes.

Sun, Oct 16

[Tayce Jalis, 8:00am]: Can I have my t-shirt back today?

[8:31am]: Oh the really old anime one? I left it with some stuff to be washed, ask Viktor. [8:32am]: Maybe the dryer did you a favor and ate it. 

[Tayce Jalis, 8:34am]: Hey! Naruto is timeless.

Today

Tayce Jalis unsent a message

Not fast enough to scroll back down, caught revisiting those unremarkable little messages, and now you’ll never know what Jayce’s butt managed to text you this time. Oh well. Keep your secrets. 

You toss your phone down behind you with a leathery slap. Back to working on the whole stop pining after Viktor thing.

Right, and your legs. 

The barbell bites into your hips as you roll it into your lap and adjust it, the bench presses into your shoulder blades. It’s heavier and harder to manage, but you do, driving down into your heels to get your ass off the ground, hefting yourself into a nice, solid bridge. From there it’s as easy as dipping your hips, which isn’t quite easy at all. No, it’s brutal. 

It burns from your core down to your thighs; has you clenching your jaw, gritting your teeth with the strain. Even your biceps are active, lifting some of the steel-hard pressure off your hip bones. 

You’re so zoned in—no thoughts, head empty except for the number six over and over until it’s seven—that you only hear the hiss of your breath in and out, the hammering rush of blood behind your ears. You don’t hear Viktor come home. 

Not until he’s standing above you.  

He had the heinous metal on metal sound in his old beige car fixed—that grinding, grating death knell in its engine. One of several potentially life threatening reasons the check engine light was always on—maybe still is. And though you much prefer him living, it’s harder to hear him coming over the steady music without paying attention. 

Bad timing for Miss Carly Rae Jepsen on your Upbeat Workout Jams playlist, considering you do really, really, really like him. Him and how he stands at the end of the bench, staring down; how he fixes you with that sliver thin smile, a manila folder tucked under the arm of his long cardigan. 

You seize with embarrassment, frozen on the upswing of your hips. “Hi,” whispers out on the end of an exhale, caught ragged in your throat. 

You can’t do pelvic thrusts in front of him. 

You just can’t. 

It’s bad enough that you’re sweaty in every skin to skin crevice and certainly flushed, t-shirt sticky and legs trembling as they hold your awkward position, but then there’s him. 

He wears that same look much better. On him, it’s healthy color across the cut lines of his cheeks; it’s still-damp curls at the nape of his neck and the jump of his lean throat when he swallows, dry when he must’ve forgotten a water bottle again. It’s suggestive. It’s hot. 

And it’s the endorphins that make you feel that way, surely, more than any affinity for men in gray sweatpants that are far more revealing than they must realize. 

You clear your throat, finding your own parched voice. “Watch your feet,” you warn, on the side of caution, dropping butt and barbell to the ground with a metallic thud. You let your head drop back against the bench pad, staring up at him with the dazed satisfaction of calling it quits. Only for the moment, of course, as you blindly feel around for your phone to turn the music down. 

And good fucking god is what you see unholy. Viktor shifts his weight before you can look away, and the ache in your core redoubles—different, deeper than any lactic acid buildup. Did his pants shrink in the wash or is it really that m—?

Nope! Absolutely not! 

You can tread no further with that thought because, really, there’s no such thing as having a platonic appreciation for your friend’s dick. Not when the friend is Viktor. 

“You’re not finished yet?” he asks. Innocent. Oblivious to your mental struggle out of the gutter. 

Typically you would be by now. Equipment racked, the citrus scent of disinfectant on your hands, picking at innocuous conversation while you walk inside together. How was your day? Did you hear they’re demolishing the old physics building? There’s a guest lecture next month that might interest you. 

“About another thirty minutes,” you breathe, “and then I’ll be done. I’m running behind.”

“Ah, interesting. That looks to me more like sitting,” he says, which is terrible enough to earn an eye roll, and snarky enough that your lips wobble and break into an insurmountable smile.

“It’s called resting, thanks. This would go faster if you stopped distracting me,” you huff, muscles loose, lips looser. 

The little spark of mirth in his eyes, so bright and awake, makes your stomach clench vice tight. “Mm. There’s no rush,” he shrugs, “but… Rio might enjoy a visit.” 

Your smile is skeptical as he pulls the file folder from beneath his arm. “Oh really?” It widens as he starts to fan you from above—chilly in the garage, but you’re still sweating buckets. It’s futile, although he’s sweet to try and help.  

He nods, gravely serious, “She told me herself.” 

You crane your neck unconsciously to let it cool the sweat that lingers there, sighing as little wisps of loose hair billow feather light and tickle your feverish skin. 

He isn’t holding it right, though. His grip is too loose on the edge.

At once, a flurry of white comes raining down on you. It’s instinct that your eyes clamp shut against the onslaught. 

“No, no, no,” he hisses as if begging could stop gravity. 

It doesn’t, of course. 

His papers flutter and scrape across the floor. An unlucky one sticks to the sweat on your scrunched up cheek. He’s quick to dip forward and snatch it back first, the easiest to reach.

You blink off the surprise and snicker, “Oh, how the tables have turned. Who’s the clumsy one now?” Rolling the barbell away over your outstretched legs, there’s nothing in its path to be crumpled beneath the weight.  

But Viktor doesn’t answer with a crooked smile or a quiet laugh, no dry wit to be found. His dark, heavy brows furrow and he insists, “No, just—just let me,” while he crouches to the ground, distributing his weight between his cane and the end of the bench. 

“It’s okay,” you insist, reaching to gather what’s scattered between you, “I’ve got it. No big deal.”

“To you,” he mutters, snatching two away before you can turn them over. Makes him lose balance. He narrowly catches himself before he can veer face first into your spandex lap,, blunt, bony fingers digging into your thigh at the hem of those skin tight biker shorts. It crushes the papers all the same. 

“Top secret nuclear codes?” you tease, drowning his muttered apologies. It sounds stupid and obvious that you’re trying to distract from the fumbling tension when his hand stays put for moments too long. Yours, too, on his shoulder to brace him. 

Just until he’s able to sit himself solidly on the ground beside you. 

He purses his lips, “My work is with reactor cores, not weapons.”

It’s only been a week since you got an impromptu lecture about nuclear fusion in the kitchen. It’s not like you’d forget so quickly. “I know—”

Impatient, Viktor reaches over your lap, too close for comfort. Whatever you were about to say is struck from your train of thought. 

His cardigan drags soft and pilled with wear across your beat up knees. Beneath it, his sweat smells sharp and strangely appealing. It’s fascinating, that draw to something so base and human. It’s unsettling, the way your heart responds like it beats between your legs.

You follow his hand, unabashedly curious, and watch him pick up another overturned paper. Below it, the next sheet is stuck face up to the floor with what you cringe to assume is a drop of your sweat, bleeding the ink of a diagram. Multiple diagrams, actually. 

Of stretches.  

The familiarity sparks excitement. 

By the time he peels up the corner of the page with his fingernail, you’re sure of what you’re looking at. It’s common ground, of a sort; the excuse to end all excuses. 

“These are from the physical therapist?” 

He sighs, sitting back in an awkward fold of spindly legs. Looks wearier, now, with his shoulders collapsed like the exhaustion of going has finally caught up. “Yes,” he admits, because you’re smart and he’s smart, and any other answer would be an obvious lie. 

You’re doing it again—digging your fingers into a soft spot that feels as ripe as it does intrusive. We do not talk about it much, he once said, but it’s hard to stop once you’ve started. You just have to know: “Do you do them?” 

His eyes cut down to the papers in his hands. “When time permits.”

“How often does it permit?” 

“Occasionally,” says Viktor, which might mean somewhere between rarely and never. 

Early mornings, late nights; classes to teach, lab hours to log, projects, papers, and a dissertation that looks done to you, but he laughs bitterly when you suggest it. Still has to find time to eat and shower and sleep, but his eyes are always restless purple and there are wrappers from meal replacement bars scattered around the house, too high calorie for Jayce to be the culprit. 

You wonder what will happen when it all catches up with him. Worse, you worry. 

Beseechingly, you reach out. Your grip is gentle as you take hold of the printouts at their edge. “Can I see?” you ask, not grabbing or pulling or taking, just there and ready. 

His lips form a tight, considering line. “If that is the last of your questions,” he slowly replies. Prickly, but relenting, he lets go before you can ever agree. 

So you don’t.  

His eyes are on you as you flip through the stack—you can feel it as a strange, shy tension like bated breath, watching and waiting. 

Page by page, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before. Some you’ve even done yourself, but with simple modifications. Hell, bridges are just hip thrusts performed flat on the floor, without the weight. Nothing he’d need help with, which is ideal when you’re not qualified to do anything but make space for him; to emphasize that he’s welcome and wanted, maybe offer up a sweaty-palmed high five if you’re feeling spunky. 

You peel your legs off the floor and resituate, tucking them as your turn to face him, direct in every sense. “You could come do these with us on Sunday mornings after we run, before you get started on work. It would make Jayce happy, and Vi has a really funny way of being encouraging—”

He pulls a face—a nose scrunched up, barely concealed, abso-fucking-loutely not sort of scowl. 

“Or…” you’re quick to try, “Just with me, when I’m here. It’ll take, what—fifteen? Twenty minutes?” 

“It’s a poor use of time,” he says. It’s as avoidant as it is clumsy, with a dismissive edge still dull enough to bruise. 

And that’s because: “You stop and talk to me for longer than that sometimes,” you remind him flatly.  

He sighs sharply, toying absently with the cane laid across his lap. “That is different.” He says it like it’s obvious; like it’s frustrating that you don’t know how obvious it is. 

“Well, what if we could do both at the same time?” you propose. After all, he’s got such a hard-on for efficiency, if that’s what’s stopping him. “I know you’re a good multitasker…”  

His jaw works, trapping his thoughts behind imperfect teeth. 

“And we probably keep this floor cleaner than the carpet…” you prod, because the silence of a man who can and has talked your ear off is disquieting; because you don’t always know when to stop; because this feels like a negotiation. 

“My bedroom suits my purposes just fine,” he says, eventually. 

But you never said which carpet. The thought of him sequestered in there, even for this, is fucking depressing. Arguably disgusting when you’ve walked across that rug and felt the grit of dirt, crumbs, and debris that the pattern hides through your socks. And worse: It’s a choice, so why is he making it? 

Abruptly, the rubber tipped end of his cane meets like against the rubber tiled floor. He pulls himself up on it with difficulty you can’t ignore, but shakes his head when you move to help. The only thing you do is hand him up the battered stack of papers, tucked back into the folder from which they came, when he stands up fully. You won’t hold them hostage, even if part of you wants to. It wouldn’t keep him from leaving, his back to you such a familiar sight. 

You just want to understand, though, if nothing else. To crack him like a cipher.  

Softer, you try: “I wouldn’t judge you.” It’s the last, desperate little thing you can think of. They’re like magic words to you. 

But the problem is: They don’t work on everyone. 

To his credit, his tone isn’t harsh. It’s indifferent, like stating a sterile fact. “This has nothing to do with you,” he says. “I haven’t skipped an appointment recently, and that should be enough.”

Indigence might suit you in those moments you grow a seedling backbone, but it doesn’t suit this. You can’t help it though. His frustration has bled into you, caught like kindling. “Is it?” 

“You and I do not share the same sense of priorities,” he replies, but it’s not an answer. Not really. 

The urge to turn him upside down and shake him until something definitive comes out is overwhelming—so straightforward until he just… isn’t. “If you’re not going to say yes or no, can’t you just lie and say you’ll think about it?” 

He looks you over inscrutably, sitting there in his shadow. “Why would you assume it’s a lie?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” you huff. But you do. Experience and a certain friend who actually bothers to text you back have given you the answer. “Jayce says you’re stubborn and I’m starting to think he’s right.” 

Viktor nods conclusively, but doesn’t care to share what’s going through his head. As evasive as ever when he cares to be, just murmurs,“You should finish this.”

And then, for a reason that is simply beyond you, says: “I will see you later.”

But for once, you’re not sure if you want to. 

—

You rap your knuckles against his open door. 

Seriously—who were you kidding, thinking for even a second that you wouldn’t be here, doing this?

Yes, it’s well after eight now and you’re pitifully hungry, but it wouldn’t feel right to leave without saying anything. In writing a note or sending a text, you’d simply be spelling out, ‘I’m a coward!’ in far more words. It’s best, you decide, to be polite and mature and just say goodnight despite the awkward taste in your mouth that is very reminiscent of your own foot. 

And you get to say it to his back, which should be easy. 

But then there’s Rio on his desk like a pissed off paperweight, swimming the foggy side of her holding tank—sorry, prison—without any hope of escape. They’re the angriest, most pathetic wiggles you’ve ever seen. Habitual, given how tongue-smudged and abraded the plastic has become. 

“You see?” he says, gesturing to the sound of her scrabbling in his bright rubber kitchen gloves. “It’s just as I said.” 

“I think it’s more about you ignoring her.” Rio pauses, slipping down the side. Her little face conveys it perfectly: “Father is cruel? Father is… unyielding? Father hates Rio?” 

“No, no… Although, eh, yes, I suppose she does sound like that…” he muses, nodding. “I think she must wonder those things about you, actually.”

Your shoulder hits the door frame, shrugging against it where you lean. “I probably don’t matter much to her.”

There’s a heavy pause, enough for him to breathe in and hold it. Breathe out, softly: “You do.”

And suddenly, you can’t find it in you to leave. Did you ever truly have the will? 

The truth is there on your feet—those perpetually mismatched socks. You’d hoped for this, secretly, else you wouldn’t have left your shoes off at the door.  

It’s warm when you walk in. A space heater that’s been running too long glows electric orange on the floor near his desk. Makes the smell of churned earth and vinegar cleaner that much stronger. And while the clutter is clearly endemic, it seems the fuzzy, stagnant mugs are not. They’re all gone from his desk and the bedside table, replaced by sticky notes, pill bottles, and an avalanche of papers.

You come up and give Rio’s tiny, clawed foot a high-five through the plastic. “Has she been doing this all night?” you ask, looking over. 

Knee on the desk chair for leverage, he’s elbows deep in her tank, rooting those waxen, fake plants back into the substrate with unnatural posture. It’s that stiffness you’ve always noticed—ramrod straight from the mid-spine up. It’s easier to see in profile, in a thin shirt that clings to his back, that there’s nothing visibly forcing it. 

“On and off. She tires quickly now,” he says, arranging a broad-leafed plant near her favorite rocky shelter—scrubbed clean, still damp. “When she was younger, it would go on much longer while I did this.”

“How old is she exactly?” 

His sigh is almost lost beneath the hum of the space heater. He answers, “Fifteen,” in the soft, subdued way of someone who hates to be reminded. 

There’s many things you’re too afraid to ask him. Such hits as: Why did you dig yourself a hole this deep, does Jayce text everyone about you, and would I even stand a chance if things were different? But right now, most of all, it’s how long do geckos live? 

You don’t think you’re going to like the answer. 

Viktor clears his throat. “She’s very, eh… spritely for her age,” he adds, fondly this time. 

You hum a soft sound in agreement, too shaky through the legs to squat down to eye level with her. When you bend your knees to try, you realize you’ll probably never get up again. 

He glances over as you straighten up. “You can sit,” he offers without really saying where. It’s obvious, though. The only option—his rumpled bed, never made, with all its mismatched pillows. One has definitely been stolen from the couch, three are yellowed and missing pillowcases which is… ew. 

But you’re not going to refuse. You’d like to hold Rio, after all. 

You swallow hesitation and tuck yourself onto the end of his mattress, balancing on the firm edge. At least the intrusive thoughts are fleeting. Only briefly do you wonder what he thinks about at night. What he does. What he wants for.

Not you. That’s for sure.

Your elbows lock out where you grip the ridged edge of the bed. The weight of things gone unsaid, of things left unresolved bears down; it prickles warm at the back of your neck and you can’t stand the waiting silence. 

“So…” you drawl, letting your voice fill the void.

“Hm?”

“Are you going to hand her to me now, or…?”

“Ah, no, I’m finished,” he says over his shoulder. “She needs to go back in the tank.”

“Then why am I sitting here?” 

“Because I have something to ask you.”

Straightforward. Right. You forgot just how terrifying that can be. 

“That sounds just as bad as saying we need to talk,” you mutter, heart twisting into a suffocating, arterial knot. 

“We do, though,” he says, too literal, too preoccupied with placing Rio back in her clean terrarium to notice your soul leave your body—preemptively abandoning ship. 

But he’s merciful, at least. He doesn’t keep you in suspense. 

“I just want to understand at what point you developed such a vested interest in, eh… fixing me, I suppose,” he asks, like wondering what the weather will be tomorrow or what the dining hall might serve for lunch. Conversationally. “Did Jayce put you up to this?”

Your eyes narrow in thought. “No…?” you reply. It comes out too shifty as you toy with the serged edge of his blanket. Jayce put you up to something alright, though that hardly matters anymore. But, in a way, does this count? Would Viktor think that this counts?

“A sure answer, please.”

Fuck. 

“It’s just that I would lump that in as part of being friends with you—except I’d call it, y’know, caring?” You draw your leg up onto the bed, closer, tucking your foot beneath your thigh. “That’s all I’m trying to do.”

Viktor flips the grate down with a finality that lights your nerves like a beacon to flee. “So he asked you to do what, exactly?” 

“Nothing,” you squirm. 

He pivots, solidly on two feet. Doesn’t sit down in the desk chair quite yet. “It wouldn’t be the first time for this behavior, and, with you, I’m sure it was not the last. Do you know that he once provided Caitlyn with a written list of topics not to bring up to me?” 

You shrug, “He’s a good friend...” 

Now you’re staring down the barrel of being just the opposite—of throwing Jayce under the bus. 

“What did he ask?” Viktor presses.

And you break. Made brittle by your desire to put him first, of course you do.  

“All he wanted was for me to give you a chance, which was pretty reasonable after you called me annoying—” that word comes out with a bite to it you didn’t intend; sensitive, sore, “—but I never told him about that. He’s just… worried about you in his own way, I guess.” 

Viktor quietly raises an eyebrow, and that’s all it takes to snap you into fours next. It practically falls out of your mouth: “He keeps texting me to make sure you’re still alive. Sometimes I think he’s joking, but then one time he told me he had a nightmare that you drowned in the pool, so part of me actually thinks he’s being serious.” 

“He is.” 

“Wait, really—?”

“Is that why you come so often now?”

Wednesday. Friday. Sunday. Monday too, sometimes, if the day before hasn’t left you sufficiently sore enough. The pain means progress. It must.

“Well, no,” you blink, “that’s mainly because I have a lot to work on.”

“Do you?”

You gesture to yourself. All of you. The way your stomach folds and rolls and fucking exists unappealingly beneath your sweatshirt when you slouch—it could be better. The way your thighs pancake out, smushed against the bed—not getting better, but discipline and toning might shape them into something near desirable. “Yeah, obviously.”

He treads lightly. “I… would not say it’s obvious.” But his eyes are cast down as he carefully removes his rubber gloves and discards them in a bucket of cleaning supplies. He’s not rude enough to agree, but you worry, in all those moments you can feel him looking at you, that he’s thinking it. After all, he’s willowy, sharp and elegant in a way you’ll never be. Soft and fleshy. Never quite right. 

“And that’s because you’re, what, zero percent body fat?” you sigh, gesturing to him incredulously. “I’m not implying that’s healthy or ideal—honestly, I’d share some if I could—but…” Your hands curl to your chest, clasped tightly in one another when there is no one else to hold them through the indignity of admitting, “I’m the one that needs fixing. Not you.” 

He was right, though, when he said it earlier. This isn’t about you. “Where did you come up with that, anyways?” you ask. 

The lines on his face, those deep, concerned creases between his brows, spell out what the fuck. You don’t understand what’s so hard about that question—what he can’t figure out, why the confusion lingers in his eyes. “This… This is the second time you’ve offered to help me.”

“I was trying to be supportive. Encouraging, even—that’s also a good word for it.” 

“It all feels the same,” he tells you, taking his turn to sigh. “Which is to say patronizing, sometimes.”

And that was not what you intended. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be a saint or anything. That’s not entirely it.” You fight the turtle-like urge to retract into your sweatshirt, which would arguably be more stupidly embarrassing than admitting: “I was just looking for… common ground, I guess. Ways to hang out without dragging you out with us.” 

“Are we not doing that right now?”

“Sure, but I feel bad about it.” There’s the silvery peek of his computer, buried on the desk. “I’m keeping you from more important things.” 

“You’re not,” he says—no, placates, but the disbelieving press of your lips makes him reconsider. “Well, eh, perhaps, but I can manage. I’ve dealt with Heimerdinger’s high expectations and, mm, sadistic deadlines for years. The weekends work well to make up for lost time, and there is all night after this too.”

“You should sleep.”

“I can’t. Not well.”

You give a creaky little bounce—not much of one, no spring to it—to demonstrate: “Maybe because your mattress feels about as hard as sleeping on the ground.” 

“One problem of many, yes.”

You count yourself among them, in one way or another. You’ve been leaking these awful insecurities all night. 

Is it any wonder that another slips? 

“It’s just—the last thing I want is to bother you. Everyone, really, but especially you.” 

“Is that because of me?” he asks quietly. “Because of what I said?”

Oh, you’ve carried this around since day one. Let it color his tone and his words and his actions. Let it haunt you trying to reach for others, the freshest nick in a line of scars that was never stitched properly. That’s what you get for letting all those little anxieties run wild with knives in their hands. That’s what you get for forgiving him before he ever asked for it, as if that would make things easier. For you. For him. For everyone. 

It hasn’t.

Viktor crosses the three steps between you on bare, nobby feet. His weight dips the bed beside you ever slightly, like he’s hardly there. But he is, by the way his leg bumps your knee, and you scoot over to give him space.  

He doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands, grasping at some distant thread. They’re as awkward as he is in saying, “I can’t recall what I meant at the time, but it… it wasn’t that. It would’ve been fine if you thought less of me for it, but not of yourself.” 

You shake your head. “It’s—don’t worry, it’s not all you,” you say, softening his guilt, perhaps at your own expense. “I have a lot of anxiety, and that’s a long running thing, okay? It’s mostly… me.” 

“That’s… good to know. About you, I mean. Not that it’s—it’s good. Just, eh, helpful to know.” 

“I guess that’s generally the benefit of being upfront about things,” you shrug as if it comes easy. 

“I would prefer that, I think.”

It doesn’t, but the light, fizzy feeling of relief makes you want to try, if only to have more of it. Maybe more of his shy little smiles too. This time with more intention, and less leaky word vomit. 

“Okay…” You shift to face him fully, mirroring his posture in leaning back on your hand for support. “Then in no uncertain terms, I want you to know that I’m not trying to fix you.” Been there, done that, got the shitty dunce hat. People don’t change unless they want to. You know that. “I just wish you were kinder to yourself, but that’s on you. So if you ever decide you want better, whatever that means, I’ll be there. Only if you want me to and only on your own terms—no physical activity required.”

“I might want to consider it, you know…” His voice lowers, softer and softer with hesitation, to the point that you find yourself leaning in. Noticing, as he seems to have noticed, that your hands are a hair’s breadth apart. “As a future prospect, if anything. But you have to understand, I don’t enjoy being watched.”

“I get that.” 

“Mm, no, I imagine people stare at you for very different reasons,” he mutters. “Not pity. Envy, perhaps.”

“I promise, most people don’t want these thunder thighs,” you huff, resisting the urge to slap them like a used car salesman. These babies can fit so much soul-crushing insecurity, which is a terrible pitch, really. The occasional bouts of self-loathing are not your strongest selling point.

He lets out the strangest bark of a laugh, so dry it’s almost ugly, as if he can read your mind. 

But you didn’t mean to derail. “Sorry, continue.” 

“Right…” Viktor draws in a long breath, quiet for a moment before he figures out how to word it. “It’s as simple as that I would rather go unseen. It’s very, ah, personal. And painful, sometimes.”

You think of the age old adage: If it hurts, don’t do it. “Um, not a doctor, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be?” 

“So they say,” he nods pensively, eyes ticking over some distant thought, maybe a memory. “It wasn’t like this before. The discomfort wasn’t… serious. That’s how I was able to ignore it for so long.”

“Ignore what?”

Not the brutal slam of the garage door across the house, for one thing. The pictures on the wall must be hanging crooked now.

Viktor sits straighter—if that’s even possible—and calls out: “Jayce?”

Footsteps—softer, distant.

His eyes snap back to yours. “It’s been a week since he’s come home,” he tells you in a quick whisper. “Mm, well, in the evening. He’s here in the morning—”

“To work out at the ass crack of dawn? I know.”

“You were invited?”

“He knows better than to think I’ll get up that early. I saw on his Instagram.”

Footsteps—louder now.

Viktor nods sagely. “Ah, yes, the stories. By my count, he has written, eh, ‘rise and grind’ forty three times since the first of the year.”

“That’s…” Your math isn’t great but, “More than once a week,” you whisper back, on the cusp of giggles as Viktor nods. And then, it hits you. “Wait—”

But the footsteps have stopped. 

And instead, there’s Jayce’s stoop-shouldered figure braced in the doorway. He sniffles loudly.

He’s still dressed in the khakis and blue button down he wears to work—rumpled, sleeve cuffs smeared darker. His eyes have that red, raw, burning swell of someone who's tried very hard not to cry, and failed spectacularly. 

Viktor finds the words you’re looking for with immediate precision. “Has something happened?” he asks, voice tight, hand tighter on your shoulder as he leans around you to look his roommate over. “Jayce?”

They spend a lot of time apart. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that they’re best friends too. 

He swipes at his nose as it runs into the raw little divot above his lip. Beyond sadness, there’s a guilty cast to his dark, hazel eyes, turned down to the floorboards, but you can’t find your voice to tell him that this isn’t what it looks like. 

“Are you… injured?” Viktor tries again.

Jayce shakes his head. No. 

“Is your mother alright?” 

“She’s fine,” he rasps. “Um… Can I just—?” he asks, gesturing weakly to the two of you.

Which you think must translate to: “You want to come sit?” 

“Yeah.”

Viktor’s of course comes without apprehension, without judgment. Only with the apparent surprise that he even needed to ask. 

But Jayce, in several long legged strides, doesn’t come sit. No, he collapses face first onto the bed behind you, all broad, shaking shoulders and quiet sniffles seeping out from behind his arms. They hide his face and nothing else. Hands curling, clenching into his shirtsleeve, there’s the thick band of a tan line striped across his middle finger. 

You turn yourself around, scooching closer, folding up cross-legged to face him. 

You’ve never seen him like this—laid so low. A sweat stain blooms dark at the small of his back, up between his shoulder blades, but sweat is sweat and Jayce is Jayce. You reach out to rub his back despite it.  “It’s alright…” you whisper. Feels like putting band-aids on a bleeding heart, but it’s all you have. 

Soft cotton weave catches the peeling skin of old blisters as you soothe your hand in circles. His shirt leaches the vetiver smell of cologne, but somewhere beneath it, there’s an elegant, cloying perfume still lingers. It’s no secret where he spends most of his time these days. 

You meet Viktor’s searching eyes and mouth: Mel. 

He nods gravely as if to say he drew the same conclusion.

Say something—that’s your next silent suggestion, canting your head toward Jayce. 

But instead, Jayce takes a deep, wet, shuddering breath and asks, muffled into the mattress, “Can… Can we go to Taco Bell?” 

“Sure…” you murmur. He could’ve asked you to drive him two states over to bury a body and you would’ve agreed just as thoughtlessly. Anything he needs. “We’ll take you.”

He doesn’t move. Just sniffles at a prompting little scritch to the nape of his neck, where his hair fades out to shadowy, peach-flesh fuzz.

So you ask, “Do you want to go change, and then I can drive us?”

“Can I just have a minute? Please?”

“Why?” demands a perplexed Viktor, still soft spoken. Desperate for an answer that isn’t made of cobbled assumptions; blunt in its pursuit. 

And worried. You can tell that he’s worried. 

As if you’d been the one to ask, the personification of wet, doleful misery lifts his head and looks up at you. His face is a ruin of dark, clumpy lashes and tear-tracked skin. His lip wobbles, the pressure of withholding little sobs building, building, building. But speaking it aloud makes it real. Speaking it aloud breaks the levee. 

“I think we just broke up,” he finally whispers. 

And cries face-down for another hour after that.

[lovelyelbowleech]

How does it feel to be writing one of the greatest political thrillers of the 21st century?

I recently reread the whole fic and I am in awe of your work. The drama, the political intrigue, the humor??? How do you do it??? Also waiting for updates has warped my sense of the timeline. Out of curiosity, roughly how much time has passed since the boat?

Btw if we’re still doing the ask game… maybe touch, taste, or smell?

Haha thank you! Glad you are enjoying! It has been very fun to write.

I did have the times all carefully planned out week by week in the previous parts, but a little less for this one. It is somewhere between month three and four since they escaped from the boat. So around the same time they are getting towards the end of the Ba Sing Se arc in the show.

Ask game:

Touch:

The other man flinched before Kazuma touched skin, and he quickly withdrew his hand.

Smell:

From the smell of it, it was ginseng. Her uncle’s favourite, she favoured jasmine.

Taste:

“Sokka, please,” Katara said, like she was being all mature and not implying things about Zuko’s taste in men.

Thanks for the ask!

[patheticwomenlover]

Play with me

Young Neil x Gen!Neutral Reader FIC cw: EXPLICIT NSFW Minors pls DNI ! ♡

Summary: You invited your boyfriend Neil to come hang out with you while Wallace and Scott were at a party, which leads to you giving him a blowjob in bed, but Wallace and Scott end up coming home right before he orgasmed. Scott was not amused.

a/n: Hi! First post on Tumblr~! I'm cross-posting this from my ao3: PatheticMenLover! Thought I'd expand my work on here too. I want to do Hazbin Hotel stuff too, seems like most of the fandom is here haha. I've just been doing SPVTW stuff, this one being my most recent one. Though, I hope you like it. &lt;𝟑

You, Wallace, and Scott are close friends. You all share an apartment and a bed too. Some people would say it is a little strange to share it with two other people but honestly it wasn’t too bad. Especially since you and Scott could not really complain, Wallace practically pays for everything aside from your Xbox 360.

 If anything, you, and Scott are considered leaches. You do plan to move out sometime soon and live with your boyfriend Neil. You’re still in the works of getting a good apartment, so for now you’re stuck with a loser and Wallace. Don’t get it wrong, they are good roommates, aside from the face that Wallace bangs his boy toys in the same bed you and Scott sleep on. But…not like you guys can complain because again, he pretty much pays for everything.

You just do not want to feel some random guys jizz stain on your leg. You’re still horrified that one time where there was fresh semen on the bed and you swiped it off, thinking it was lotion but…eventually came to realize it wasn’t, thanks to Scott.

Anyhow, that leaves you here, alone in the apartment relaxing on Wallace’s armchair watching tv while Scott and him had left to go to some party. They had invited you to tag along with them but to be honest parties were not your thing and you do not enjoy socializing with random drunk people. Ironically though a party is where you met your current boyfriend, Young Neil... or well just Neil. He looked so lonely at the party. At the time you noticed he had come with a group of people, but they just parted ways, so that left him alone in a corner with a bored look on his face.

So, you walked up to him, made conversation and surprisingly it went very well. And by made conversation, you meant flirt heavily. He had a chill; calm personality and it went well with yours. Not to mention…he was adorable. How had nobody gone up to him and flirted with him before you is a mystery. After the party you two exchanged numbers and kept on talking until he very shyly asked you to date him, and how could you say no? And so far, the relationship has been going great.

Now back to you. 2 hours had passed since Wallace and Scott left you and it was an understatement to say you were bored. All you did was watch tv, play on your xbox, and eat lunch. You had the apartment to yourself and could do what you want, but why did it feel so boring still? It was because you were doing It alone.

So, you decided to call up your boyfriend Neil and ask him to come hang out with you.

“Oh, hey babe, what’s up?” You could tell by his tone he was happy to hear from you. “Hey Neil. You wanna come over? I’m at Wallace’s apartment.”

“YES!…ehm.. I mean, yeah whatever that sounds cool.” He quickly collects himself, which earned a giggle on your end. That boy was so cute it hurts. “Are Scott and Wallace there? Are we all hanging out or something?”

“Nah. Just us. They’re at a party and won’t be here until….im not sure honestly. I can’t tell with them. Is that okay with you?”

“Perfect..!” He said quickly. “Good! Then I’ll see you when you get here, yeah?”

“I already left the house.”

Today was going to be great, you just know it.

After awhile of waiting for Neil to come you finally hear a soft knock on the door. You quickly got up and fixed your clothes and hair to make it look more presentable and then headed towards the door and letting Neil in. He had on a large puffy coat, jeans, his normal shoes and to top it all off a fluffy hat covered his soft hair. You also noticed his nose was red, poor boy must have had a small cold. Afterall, it has been snowing a lot recently, especially today.

“Hey b-babe!” It was so cold you could see his breath coming straight out of mouth. “Hey baby. Come on inside, you look like you have a cold.” He nods happily as he steps right inside, and you close the door behind him. “You think I look sick?” He asks while a sniffle leaves his nose as he takes off his puffy coat and sets it aside on the armchair. “You have a cold. Have you noticed your nose is red?”

He tries to cross his eyes to look at his nose. “Hmm. No, don’t see it.” A giggle escaped your lips. “Wait..does that mean we can’t make out...or cuddle?”

“Nah. I’d still kiss you.” You grab his hand and drag him to the bed. “I’ve been playing Sims 3 and Minecraft all day, it’s boring so when you’re alone.” You grab your controller.

“Do you have castle crashers?” He grabs a nearby controller.

“Of course. Wanna play that?” He nods.

“Good choice, one of my favorite games.”

“…dibs on the purple knight.”  You playfully push his shoulder. “Hey!- I wanted that one!”

After a few hours of playing Castle Crashers, you two eventually got bored of it. Not because the game was bad, oh trust. But because of the stupid bat boss, could not get past it. So annoying…! Anyways, instead of playing more Xbox games you decided to cuddle up with him under the covers while you watched him play on this Gameboy Advance. He was playing Mario Kart Super Circuit as Luigi.

You snuggled your head into his shoulder while you watched him play. “Babe.. are you sure you don’t want a turn? Is It really that fun to watch me play?” He asks curiously.

“Mhm. You make cute faces when you’re focused.” He sticks his tongue out in concentration. “Huh?..sorry what’d you say? I had to get back in first place.” You snorted. “You’re cute.”

You get closer to him, you lift your leg and placed it over his crotch. His face flushes. “Haah…y/n..you’re..um….you’re distracting.”

“Distracting? Can you elaborate?”

His eyebrows furrow. “Y…you’re trying to make me lose..! I wont let you…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You tease. “I’m just trying to cuddle with my lovely boyfriend, can’t a person just—”

“Mhmm..”

“Oh?”

You feel a growing bump on your naked knee. It didn’t take a genius to understand what that was. He had gotten a boner from your leg laying on his dick. “Y/nnn….” You look directly at him. “Yes?”

“…I’m hard.”

“I know.”

There were a few seconds of silence between you two. “Want me to take care of it baby?” He furiously nods with flustered face. “P..please….b-but first let me finish this—”

“You can keep playing it while I suck your dick.”

“Wh- wha?...you want me to do that..?” He stammers. “Go ahead babe. Pretend like I’m not even here, kay?” You proceed to get under the covers while also getting in between Neil’s legs. His boner was more visible from this angle. “Pretend like you’re not here..?...that’s gonna be h..harrd…but okay.”

You placed your hands on top of his covered dick. You could already feel him throbbing. He breaths with a mix of anticipation and nervousness as he gripped his Gameboy tightly, attempting to concentrate as hard as he can on his game. You then put your fingers in-between his boxers then sliding it down all the way to his knees. His dick immediately sprung up with a string of pre-cum trailing down the base of his dick from the tip.

“Ohh? You were REAL pent up weren’t you?” His heart starts to race as you grab his dick. “F-fuuuck. Don’t…don’t go too fast….you’re gonna make me c-cum early again like last time..”

“Haha..don’t worry, Neil.” You kiss the tip of his dick. “I’ll try to make you last as long as possible. Just focus on your game.~”

You were going to be the death of him.

He watches you with a mix of awe and desire as you kiss and started to slowly stroke his dick. You could also feel him squirming underneath your touch. He felt warm sensations coursing through his body, but still managed to focus on his game somehow. But his eyes did occasionally flicker to your eyes.

“Ah…hnnm…”

You extended your wet tongue to the base of his dick, then began to lick from there towards the tip of it. His pre-cum tasted a little salty. “mmm~  you’re a good boy aren’t you?”

 “Ughn…” A shiver runs down his spine as he tries to keep his focus on the game, but your tongue and touch were already so overwhelming. He lets out soft gasps whenever your tongue glosses over his sensitive tip. “Y…yeah..I’m your good boy….” His whimpers out, his voice barely audible. His eyes continuing to dart between the screen and your movements, his body was growing more tense with each passing second. It just felt too good.

You wrapped your lips about his tip, sucking on it gently. You also used your other free hand to caress his inner thigh. Neil’s body lifted slightly, and he grips his Gameboy tighter as your warm mouth had engulfed the tip of his dick. He bites down on his bottom lip, trying to stifle the series of moans that threatened to escape his soft lips. The sensation of your hand on his thigh and the pleasure from your mouth sent waves of ecstasy through him. “y/n…g..ghhn…ugh!” He struggles to keep his focus on the game, it was getting increasingly difficult for him to both face fuck you and continue playing the game.

You started to take him further into your mouth, his dick hitting your throat each time your lips met his messy pubes. Your tongue trailing over the veins on his dick then back to his tip and then back to the veins. Neil’s head falls back onto a pillow as loud moans escapes his lips, his body trembling with pleasure. He could feel himself getting lost in the sensations, at this point the game had fallen from out of hand, he had forgotten it as he surrenders to the pleasure you’re giving him.

You then could feel a hand being placed on top of your head, gently pushing you further down. “Y..yes…just like that…you’re amazing…” His free hand grips the covers of the bed, and his breath became more ragged. You completely took your mouth off his dick and used your hand to stroke him quickly. “Gonna cum for me baby? You wanna cum on my pretty face, yeah?”

Maybe you were just hearing things but..was someone outside the front door..?

He pathetically lets a few tears fall from his face as he gasps sharply. His mind was going blank with pleasure, too much was going on he couldn’t think of anything else except you. He couldn’t help but let ot a lew, guttural moan, hips involuntarily twitching In response to the intense pleasure. “Y-yes!...I..I can’t hold back much longer…n..need to cum..” He struggles to form coherent words, completely hypnotized by your hand.

Keys entered the lock of the front door. Someone is here.

“Cum for me. Now.” Your trail your free hand from his inner thigh to under his shirt, caressing his chest. As for your occupied hand, your hand kept his dick busy with your fast paced strokes. “I-Im…y/n…I’m so close…ssso so close…don’t stop pleeease…”

The front door opens. Wallace and Scott enter the room before noticing..-

The intensity of your hands pushes him closer and closer to the edge, you consumed his mind entire;y. He lets out a final string of incoherent moans, his free hand gripping the sheets so tight his knuckles were turning white as he approached his climax. “Y-y/n…I’m…I’m gonna…c-cummingg!!” He rolls his eyes to the back of his head and arched his back involuntarily as he finally reached his peak, releasing his cum onto your face with a final, shuddering orgasm.

A string of cum landed on your lips, to which you licked it off. You then stuck your head out from under the covers to see Neil’s tired, exhausted face. He had tear stains on his cheeks and he was breathing heavily. You chuckled at this. “I hope I didn’t go too hard on you babe. You okay?” He looks at you with a small smile before quickly dropping it when he noticed you had visitors.

“Uh..y/n….” He mutters. You tilt your face at him with confusion. “What? What’s wrong? You’ve came on my face before.” He shakes his head. “I-its not that its just uh..”

“What?”

Neil lifts his hand and points right behind you. You turned your head slowly to see….Wallace…and Scott. Both, horrified, Scott more so. They just witnessed their friend give a blow job to their other friend, and it didn’t help that you still had his cum on your face.

“uh….hey guys. How was the party?” You nervous asked.

They said nothing for a few moments until Wallace spoke up. “I never knew you had that in you, y/n.” He teased. Scott however, wasn’t amused…at all. “We..y/n… we sleep on the same BED!...Y-you’re face is covered in—!”

“I KNOW.” You embarrassingly wiped it off from your face and Neil quickly pulled up his boxers and pants. After this incident Scott tried to ban you from bringing Neil over, even when both of them were there. But since Scott was considered a leech too, it didn’t hold any value to you. As for Wallace, he found the whole thing amusing, but…he very gently asked you to not fuck him on the bed…. despite him doing the exact same thing. Apparently, he’s the only one allowed to do that. Fair enough since it was his bed after all.

That’s not gonna stop you from inviting Neil over again. ♡

I was lowkey struggling how to format this. Tumblr is killing meeee

[venluming]

Meltdown (Petrigrof)

Wordcount: 2.05k.

Type: One-Shot, SFW

Warnings: None, really.

Summary: After a long, stressful day, Simon has a meltdown and Betty helps him through it.

Extra Notes: Hello, hello! I’m writing again, yay!! I felt proud enough to post this little one-shot of Petrigrof! I don’t see enough fics that depict Simon as autistic, so I wrote one myself! And… it’s him having a meltdown, haha— but hey, it’s something! This is also based on a personal experience of mine, so there’s that. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

With the gentle pattering of rain against the window and the warm air flowing through the heater in the corner, Betty sank into the covers of her bed, bundled up in her favorite brown, woolen blanket. Beside her was a hot mug of lemon balm tea that she occasionally sips to help her go to sleep.

In her hand, she held a sketchpad with small sketches of random objects around the room, assumingly for an art project, or maybe just as general practice. She had recently begun picking up this hobby again, as she had been so busy with other things, such as her expeditions and research papers for other minor classes she had. Betty enjoyed making pieces for herself, although she very seldom mentions her love for art to others for reasons of… well, no one really cared enough to ask.

Well, all except Simon.

Speaking of Simon…

It’s just about 8 PM right now. It’s pretty dark, and Simon still hasn’t come home from his afternoon class. Betty mused on where he might’ve gone. Perhaps working a bit later than usual, which was a somewhat common occurrence with him. He’s known to be quite the workaholic…

‘I wish he wouldn’t push himself so hard…’ Betty thought, frowning slightly.

No matter, she’ll have to give him a good “scolding” when he arrives home.

…Well, not an actual scolding. He hated getting those, as it always triggered his PDA.

After a bit of time passes, she’s finally finished and decided to put a pin in it for tonight. Her main worry seems to be her lover who still hasn’t arrived yet. What was he doing?

“He’s probably just working a little late, Betty. Nothing to worry about..” Betty mumbled, taking a sip of her tea and letting out a soothing hum. What a wonderful, serene-feeling taste.

Just then, Betty heard the front door slam from downstairs. Betty quickly turns towards the bedroom door and begins to climb out of bed but pauses when heavy footsteps start trudging up the stairs, then stopping momentarily. She waited quietly for any sudden movement when the quiet steps grew louder as they approached the door.

As expected, the door swung wide open, which startled Betty a little. Standing there was a… sopping wet cat who seemed to have, unfortunately, been caught in the storm of the hour. His clothes were drenched in rainwater, dripping onto the floor. His tousled hair cast downward as it stuck to his cheeks and forehead— but he desperately wiped the stray hairs away from his wet face. He looked… terrible —with his vest and shirt slightly unbuttoned to where the collar barely touched his neck, his bow tie clenched tightly in his hand.

Simon stood in the doorway for a moment with his head hung low. It felt like, as soon as he stepped through, he just… fell apart. His hands found his head and he gripped a fistful of dark brown locks, then an exasperated and strangled groan tumbled out of his throat. Betty immediately ran to his side, attempting to touch his face but he jerked back from her, vigorously shaking his head. Betty was a little confused and slightly perturbed at first, but upon observing him more, his body language told her everything she needed to know. The way he trembled in front of her, arms up in a more defensive position like a scared little kitten despite having his hands tangled in his hair. Betty knew what this was.

“Okay, no gentle touching, alright.. uhm ,” Betty made her way to one of the lamps in her room and turned it off. “Here, I’ll turn off some of the lights for you, okay?”

Simon nodded, running a hand through his soggy locks. Glob, he was so glad to be home, home to his lover. She always knew what to do when he had these moments. Moments where his body shut down and wouldn’t cooperate with him no matter how hard he tried. Moments where every single article of clothing on his body felt like sandpaper scraping against his skin. How much it hurt to utter a single word. No matter how much he might’ve wanted to, it felt like walking barefoot on pins and needles while everyone else but him came prepared with steel-toe boots.

Simon’s wet clothes clung to his shivering body. He hated the feeling of wet clothes, he hated it. He desperately peeled the clothes off his body and they hit the floor with a gentle ‘thump ’. Betty scrounges around in the closet for his favorite blanket while glancing back at her lover every few minutes. She could feel him trembling from afar, even as warm air encircled him, and in those moments, she wished that she’d been there when this first started so she could have helped him through it.

“Okay, let’s get you wrapped up,” Betty pulls out the navy blue blanket and scurries over to him. He seemed to have already stripped himself of his clothes, to which she wrapped the soft blanket around his shivering body and led him to their bed. “I’ll get you some water… do you want some water?”

Wiping his tear-stained face, Simon nods and tries to bask in the warmth of his blanket and the heat from the heater, now that he laid closer to it. Betty opens the door and glances back at Simon with a gentle smile before closing the door and running down the stairs.

Not long after, Betty comes back with the water and places it on his bed stand. He seemed to have dove under the covers again with only his head poking out from his blanket. Betty chuckles, climbing over to the other side of the bed and laying beside him. Upon observing him closer, his scleras were bloodshot red, like he’d been crying for a while. Simon scooted closer and stared into her eyes for a moment before looking at the sketch pad in the space between them. Betty slowly turned to the book and picked it up, placing the pad in his lap. She figured he might want to say something without straining his voice since he’d gone non-verbal.

Simon’s hand snakes out from beneath the covers and he takes the pencil attached to the pad then flips to a blank page. Betty watches him curiously as he begins to write something down in a slow, gradual manner, his face softening the more he writes. He flipped the page over and she couldn’t help it when the corners of her mouth rose to her cheeks.

“Thank you, I love you”

Betty resisted the urge to take him into her arms and pepper his face with kisses. Alternatively, she takes his free hand and squeezes it firmly.

“I love you too, Simon.”

Simon flips the pad back around and begins scribbling something else.

“I need more pressure”

Realizing what he meant, Betty nods and begins climbing on top of him, aligning the side of her face with his own, and dropping most of her body weight onto him.

“Howzzat? That enough for you? Twice for no, once for yes.

Simon taps her once and she smiles against his face. She looks to him for permission, which he does give, then proceeds to wrap her arms around him and give him a firm squeeze. A small giggle escaped his lips as Betty held him in her arms.

After a while, Betty found herself growing more drowsy by the hour. Really, she had only been rambling to Simon about her day and other miscellaneous things. Only after a few minutes of talking did she hear the gentle snoring of the man who’d curled up beside her with the slow rise and fall of his chest. She thought that now it might be a good note to end off for tonight.

Leaning over the sleeping man, she pulls the cord to their dimmed lamp light then snuggles up against him. With a soft glittering of her eyes, she drifts into a soundless, serene sleep.

────────────────────

“Mmhh… five more… minutes…”

A chuckle escaped the man’s lips as he shook his lover once more. Betty stirred but her eyes stayed shut. After a few more gentle shakes, Betty groaned, rubbing her eyes before sitting up slightly and opening her groggy eyes to look at him. She sighs and gives him a tired smile.

“Ah, morning… how’d you sleep?”

Simon pressed his lips against her forehead. “I slept alright, you?”

Betty’s smile only grew when she heard his voice. Ever since last night, he’d been quiet as a church mouse, so hearing his voice again, it quelled that lingering anxiety she didn’t realize she had inside.

“Heyyy, you’re talking again! And I slept alright myself. I’m assuming you’re feeling better after your meltdown last night…”

“Indeed,” Simon lays against the bed frame, his bare chest exposed to the warmth of their room. “Thank you, again… last night was really… stressful— for me. I—uhm… glob, I was suppressing that for a while…”

Betty pouts, gently jabbing him in his side. “You dumb-dumb, why did you suppress it? You know that’s not good and… you can step out of class, you don’t need to prioritize your work if your nervous system is donking out!”

“Ahm— I was doing another presentation, and a lot of smaller things kept building up… and before I knew it, it almost happened— in the middle of it. That same guy threw another… book at me today. Starting to reconsider this whole thing, honestly…”

Betty huffed. “Again?? Who was it, was it the same guy? I should really teach that guy a lesson—“

“No, no… it’s okay,” Simon waved his hands. “You don’t… it’s fine. Please don’t.”

“No, because what’s this guy’s fascination with throwing shit at you??”

Simon shrugs. “No idea, but it’s fine. I’ll manage.”

“Simon…”

“I promise it’s fine, dear. If it’ll make you feel better, the next time it happens, I’ll give them a lecture on presentation etiquette, how does that sound?”

That was mostly a joke.

“You sound like you want a book to be thrown at you.”

Simon chuckles, scratching his nape. “Alright, bad joke.”

Betty chuckles right along with him until they’re both laughing at his really stupid lecture joke. The laughter soon died down though as the two climbed out of bed, raising their arms to stretch.

It only took Simon a few seconds to realize he wore only his underwear, which he remembered was a result of yesterday where his damp clothes lay bundled still near the doorway, so he made his way towards the closet to search for his spare PJs he’d leave here in her room.

Betty, being her usual self, stares lovingly at his backside, especially towards the lower region. She folds her arms and smirks to herself.

“Hey, are you working on your glutes?”

Simon blinks, trying to process what she just said. He slowly turns around, perplexed. “What?”

“Like… glute exercises.”

It took him a minute, but it finally clicked and his cheeks began to burn at the question. He rolls his eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Oh, haha . Ass joke, funny. I don’t… workout, that’s just how it naturally looks.”

“That just makes it better!”

“Betty.”

Betty giggles, embracing him from behind and nuzzling into his cheek. “Okay, okay… I get it, too early…”

He huffs. “Way too early…”

“Apologieees— I’ll go make us some breakfast while you change . What’re you in the mood for?”

Simon finally finds his blue and white-striped pajamas. He slips on and buttons the shirt and then the pants. “Pancakes.”

“Cool, cool!”

As Betty quickly exited the room, Simon stood beside the closet, pondering over the events of last night. How fast she was able to catch onto his symptoms, how loving and caring she was during the ordeal, how safe he felt when he finally let himself break down in front of her, which he hadn’t done in a while.

His lips curled into a warmer smile, feeling content.

He’s really happy to be with such an amazing person. He wouldn’t trade her for anything else in the world.

“I should help her with breakfast…” He finally said, closing the closet door and making his way downstairs to his soon-to-be wife.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔹𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ not a request!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ happy birthday to Luka Luka!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

Affiliation with @virtualbookstore

For few months now, you've been getting ready to bake cake for your girlfriend this year instead of buying one! You've made that decision after seeing other couples baking for each other on the internet and your abilities escalated since then. You even baked few cookies for christmas!

Though it's nothing compared to what you had in mind... you wanted to bake small strawberry shortcake. Maybe it's not world's hardest cake but it was only natural for you to struggle when it was meant to be a birthday gift for your girlfriend!

You and Luka were supposed to have your birthday date in the evening so luckily for you, you didn't had to wake up too early in the morning.

You've been calmly decorating the cake now, taking your time and making sure it's pretty enough! You wanted to make sure that both, sprinkles, frosting and little strawberries on top will be well accompanied. You didn't even noticed how quickly time passed and got quite surprised when you heard your phone ringing.

Of course you quickly picked it up and put it on speaker so you could multitask a bit.

"Hello?"

"Hi Y/N! I'll be at your door in 5 minutes. I'll come by car so I ca take us to the place this time."

"L-Luka?! Oh, right! Sure! I... I can't wait!"

You hanged up and tried to logically think of something. Toppings on cake aren't done yet but you're still in your casual clothes and you just best your girlfriend has some pretty outfit like always!

Of course, you picked to quickly get dressed up and get the packaging for the cake ready so you can quickly close it in case you hear doorbell.

And before you could even touch the heart sprinkles to add on top as final touch, you heard dorbell... you tried quickly yet aesthetically wrap little cake in box but constant dorbells weren't helping... You finally closed it, hid it behind your back and opened the door in slight panic, feeling the adrenaline.

"Hey Luka! I'm... almost done!"

"Oh? My bad, I didn't wanted to rush you. I could wait for you in the living room as you finish getting ready?"

You were about to agree but then you remembered the living room is right next to the kitchen and she'd definitely notice what's going on!

"I'm actually done! Let's just go!"

Pink haired girl nodded and you both entered her car, she was about to start the engine but stopped mid way.

"I have one question though... since when did you start using such a sweet strawberry perfume?"

"Uh- recently! Haha..."

"Oh? So this box in your hand isn't anything big and also isn't the reason you're so nervous?"

And that's how you were caught red handed... you almost forgot how good intuition your girlfriend has.

With head facing down, you handed her your little gift as you looked away, a bit nervous if she'll even like it.

"It's nothing fancy but... I just thought it might be nice addition?"

Her on the other side, opened gift carefully and chuckled once she saw strawberry shortacake with the pretties topping! She carefully took little fork on it's side and tried it, smile of delight immidietly painting her face.

"Mmm~ It's perfect! Thank you so much for making it for me, my dear~"

"No problem!! I'm just.. glad you like it and... Happy Birthday, Luka!"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot - come get your elegant woman!

[antonnieely]

before our last stage of 2023...:D

hello! to everyone who might be reading this, hi! haha, i just felt that, while i am a native english speaker, as all of you must know by now, i haven't really had or taken the chance to express myself in english. so, as another year comes to a close, i wanted to write down some of the things i've been thinking about lately and also share my thoughts with anyone who bothers to read this. haha. I’m not someone who usually journals or writes down my thoughts regularly, but i do sometimes find myself doing so near this time, at the end of the year, as a sort of self-reflection on what i've felt and experienced over the course of the year. what have i accomplished? can i honestly say i tried my best? or maybe how i've changed, or haven't changed, and so on and so forth. so while i'm still only 19 years young with lots more to learn and experience, i think i can say with confidence that even when looking back many years later, 2023 will, to me, have been one of the most important years of my life. Thinking back to the start of 2023, i had been going through some turbulent times. i recently looked through some photos from around this time last year, and what i saw was a very different version of myself. changes happen naturally, big or small, so i'm not saying i'm surprised at how much has changed. but just last year, i was still a trainee, not knowing when i would be able to debut and unsure of whether or not things were going the way they should. i think i should've had more confidence in myself, given the fact that i had left my previous life behind to pursue this dream of mine. but what a relief it is that i've at least gotten to where i am today, and i am proud of myself for having seen things through to the end, although i have not yet felt the satisfaction i once thought i would after debuting. more than that, i think i've been able to realize more fully what it is i want to achieve as an artist and learned that it tends to be harder to be content. and more than anything, i've felt a lot of gratitude towards my family and friends who've always supported me and to the team i've been so blessed to be a part of. and of course, to the fans that have found us and have joined us in our "journey" to achieve great things. No matter how hard i might try, realistically i can only see things from my point of view and in turn only have the right to speak on the things i have personally experienced. so for that reason, i don't believe in assigning levels to struggle, as all people can only speak on the things they are going through. but if there is anyone out there who might be feeling their way through their own obstacles, i hope that they can at least find the strength to not give up. I think that all people perceive time quite differently, so a very long time for someone can seem very short to another. i, for one, feel that time flows very quickly, so right now, i can't believe another year has gone by so fast. but in a year so full of things to remember, i truly am grateful for all the highs and lows i went through. just about four months have passed since our debut. only four months? already four months? what might be some of my new year's resolutions... stay true to myself? and continue to work hard to fulfill my ambitions. and for riize to stay rising. heh. My rant. thank you, and happy new year 🧡

[nordic-language-love]

So uh. I forgot I actually made 2023 goals. Well, uh. Let's check in, I guess!

Japanese Goals

1) Reach a pre-intermediate level in Japanese - I mean, it's not going as well as I'd hoped. I've not really been giving it my all, if I'm honest. Sometimes I make great progress but I get discouraged very easily. My listening has improved significantly and my vocabulary has expanded a lot, not to mention I did - somehow - pass N4. And while passing N4 wasn't actually the goal, it was the rough level I wanted to reach. And yet I still don't know if I feel like I've reached this goal. Idk, it's complicated. I think my kanji and listening and maybe even reading generally are close to pre-intermediate. Just my speaking is garbage (but tbh it's worse for my lack of confidence).

2) Finish Japanese Short Stories For Beginners - I only have 5 left to read and could probably finish them pretty quickly actually if I wanted. I've been kinda lazy haha.

3) Have a Japanese conversation class on italki without using English at all - Mmm I knew this would be an ambitious one, but I've come pretty close a few times. If I actually tried harder to learn vocabulary maybe I could do this one? I just get lazy with learning vocab so I forget what words I've learned and then I can't use them when I need them.

Norwegian Goals

1) Maintain my B2/C1 level in Norwegian - Yeah I've done that I'd say. My reading is still C1, my other skills have slipped but definitely still around the C1 mark I reckon.

2) Learn more idioms and natural ways of speaking - Not really been trying to do that, unfortunately. But I have picked up a couple of new things recently, so that's cool.

3) Write 10,000 words of fiction - Lmao I've written zero (I did get as far as creating a scrivener document though)

4) Finish reading 5 books in Norwegian - Okay well I've read 3/5 and the fourth is planned for November (maaaaybe October at a push). I need to get another one, but I do have a physical copy of one at home soooo maybe I'll pick that up when I go back in October and try to squeeze it in?

Non-language goals

1) Improve my overall flexibility - Umm no, but I've maintained it and I now do yoga every day and I love stretching so idc

2) Read 15 books - Smashed it! I'm on book 18 and I'm aiming for 25 now.

3) Journal regularly - The point was actually to journal in English but I felt super uncomfortable and ended up journally in Norwegian anyway. But! I do write in my journal regularly! And that was the goal!

4) Learn new fans techniques - Didn't bring my fans with me in the end sooo I couldn't do this one.

[blackbloodteeth]

@redphlox Thanks for tagging me in the tag game! Since I've done that particular one recently, I thought I might as well just write a little something, so hope no one minds haha

———

The Blind Calligrapher

The soft, silken strands brush and smooth between his fingertips, its edge just as sharp as ever when it faintly pricks into his longest finger. Ink is his blood, and parchment his skin, and so his veins beat life into his work once more.

Each stroke scratches against the paper, like fine music to his ears. The outer thumb holding it all steady slowly tracks each measure while his artist's hand flows through every note, pulled along by strings that strum and play through him, composing and conducting yet another swan song. A long one at that, but he kept no mind today.

Warmth thrummed satisfactorily in his fingers, to his wrist, when he'd finally reached the grand conclusion. The parchment's texture almost scrapes against his nails when his other hand feels along the outer side, a breath, a sigh, contentment signalling that this performance is over. The ink now must dry – he even conveys so – but he carefully lifts his work across the table and bestows what he has transcribed.

"Oh thank you," the living person seated at the other end eventually says. Telltale shudders tell him the tears are joyful. "Thank you."

A smile brings his voice back soft and soothing, and his fingers left interlocked under the faint impression of a hand on his shoulder. "Your auntie is at peace now."

They paid him more than he had asked for afterwards. He felt it no matter how much he counted, and eventually conceded, setting the affair aside for later, albeit grateful. That smile had lingered on his face regardless of how it still deepens his brow every time it occurs.

His hand glides over the assortment of teas he keeps lined up on their own distinct shelf, the hums of the room around him growing restless with each passing selection. No, no, the peppermint! Oh no, don't you start that again – it stank up the whole house last time! Ooh green tea, I love the smell of green tea!

A voice, much more discerning and somber with wisdom, hushed the other whispers in its final say.

Chamomile. Something is bound to happen today.

He gives an approving nod and plucks today's choice before tucking the rest back into their tidy places. The cracks of his favourite cup roughs beneath his thumbs while the kettle's steam continues to simmer – Not chipped enough to leak through, but enough for character and letting him wallow in these moments to himself. It reminds him a lot of his dear nana.

By the kettle's call and the pouring aroma beginning to brew through the room, something else has the hums excited again, eager – Another visitor?

And true to their word, a few hasty knocks leads him to wander over to his door and the breathless swallow of a stranger standing in the light pattering of rain. Quickly, of course, he invites them in, soon a woman's voice offered a seat and flustering – She sounds in a hurry. Younger than him.

"Please… I've heard of what you do, and I… I need to talk to my mother."

He hums solemnly, though she continues. "She's not… She's still alive, but I need to find her."

The freshly hot cup of tea pauses on its way to the table as his face bunches up again. "Not dead?"

"No, sir, but my father will be at this rate. She's been gone and no one's seen her for months, and I… need to talk to her."

Clinks finally rest upon the surface of the table, yet he remains waiting, fingers tapping idly against the old wood. "I'm not sure there's much I'm able to do if she's still among the living…"

"...Please…"

This poor girl looks so lost, the whispers start again. Oh help her, dear boy. Help her.

A light sigh runs his thumb along the grain before moving him back into his chair, hopeful murmurs guiding his hand back to his pen and paper. "…I'll do what I can."

[day6source]

[N Interview] DAY6 Young K's first solo 'Letters with Note' release interview

by Reporter Go Seung-ah 1/2/3

Day6's Young K (29, Young K) will return with his first solo full-length album 'Letters with notes' at 6 PM on the 4th. After completing his military service as a KATUSA soldier in April of this year, he completed his new album in 5 months while working as a DJ for KBS Cool FM's 'Day6's Kiss the Radio' and is ready to return to his regular job. This album, 'Letters with Notes', is a work that will show the true side of Young K, who has celebrated his 9th year since his debut. It contains a world of music that has become deeper as the accumulated time, deep emotions, and a complete story are contained in one album. In this album, Young K, who wrote the lyrics and melodies of all the songs himself, hopes to send the most romantic letter to the world through 'Letters with Notes'. The title song is 'nothing', a departure from the title song 'Guard You' from the 1st mini album 'Eternal'. It contains the sad feelings of not being able to let go of a love that is gradually disappearing, and Young K's appealing vocals stand out. Here, TWICE's Dahyun appeared together in the music video and expressed the emotions of the song. Young K recently met with News 1 ahead of the release of his album. Entering his 9th year since debuting in 2015, he shared his unique thoughts and once again strengthened his resolve with a determined expression, saying, "I want to make music that doesn't age."

How do you feel about making a solo comeback after such a long time?

I'm very nervous because it's been a while since I've released an album, but I feel happy and excited to be able to share the songs I worked so hard on.

You released an album 5 months after being discharged from the military. How did the work proceed?

All recording work began after I was discharged from the military, and I had ideas even before that. It is unclear exactly when it started. Still, I thought it was important as a singer to come back with an album, so I started preparing the album quickly. I think it went well because I had that mindset while working. It was easy to write a lot of songs this time, but as the number of songs increased, I tried a lot of new things to avoid overlapping or repeating the same thing.

You were the first idol to serve as a KATUSA soldier and even won the Best Warrior Competition. Has anything changed since serving?

It seems like my mindset had an impact on your album preparation and promotion process. As I ran the 'Best Warrior Competition' at KATUSA, I felt like I was reaching my limits. With the only goal being completion, there was a situation where I almost fell off the obstacle course, but I managed to climb back up by holding on to one hand, and even though my nose was bleeding just from taking a breath, I was able to finish the race in the end. Those parts gave me the thought, ‘I can overcome this in the future.’ Of course, I don't know what will happen after time passes. haha. Still, by completing it, I was able to gain the will and determination to have more diverse experiences in the future.

How is it with this as your first full-length album as a solo artist?

This album has been released as a regular album, but when I first started planning and working on it, I did not intend to release it as a regular album. As a singer, I just wanted to release an album quickly, so I worked on various things and submitted songs, and ultimately 11 songs were released through the company system. So I don't have any special feelings just because it's regular. Still, I'm determined to perform better on stage and work even harder.

How did you work on the lyrics of the title song ‘nothing but’?

When I was first working on 'nothing but', I had a conversation with composer Hong Ji-sang and told him that my personality is to hold on to it until the end and that I don't let go even if I have to, so he asked me if I should add love to this story. When I think about it, it seems like I tend not to leave anything behind when it comes to eating. Haha.

What song contains a new attempt in this album?

This is the pre-released song ‘Let it be summer’. It is a song that attempts to carry one theme from beginning to end by comparing it to youth while having the theme of summer. Also, the song 'Natural' is an attempt to make word choices easier and more routine.

What message is contained in this album?

I think, ‘I am a new me who is a little different from before.’ I can't say that these songs are all stories of my life, but I think my thoughts and stories will be reflected to some extent while I work on them. I also hope that my musical and vocal skills will improve.

What was the reaction of Day6 members to the new album?

The only person who has heard the entire song is Sungjin. He gave me feedback saying that I have a good voice and that rhythmic songs suit me well. Dowoon came to visit and hung out at the teaser filming site and hung out for quite some time. I don't know if he heard the title song there or not. I didn't let him listen to it separately. (Laughs)

TWICE's Dahyun appeared in the music video for 'There's No Other Way' and acted together.

After 'There's Nothing Else' was confirmed as the title song, the company said it would be nice to have a counterpart, and Dahyun ended up doing it through the company's recommendation. It was a great honor. I was grateful to Dahyun for her passionate performance on set.

It is impressive to see how hard you work in everything, including working as a KATUSA soldier and composing songs, since your college days.

If I'm going to do it anyway, I tend to work hard. I tend to do my best at whatever I do. So, if I could confidently say one of my strengths, I think it would be ‘effort.’

You briefly mentioned your gluttony earlier, and you were originally famous as a big eater. Is that still the case?

Haha. Compared to previous years, the amount of food I eat seems to have decreased. Seeing people who have been active for a long time being very energetic on stage made me think about living a healthy life. I think I can continue to be a singer for a long time if I enjoy it healthily, so these days, I try to eat as healthily as possible. (As of interview date) I need stamina ahead of the concert, so I'm eating well right now. (Laughs)

The dance challenges you recently presented while working as a radio DJ are a hot topic. What do you think?

It's a difficult question. (Laughs) As more guests came, I had the opportunity to take on the challenge. So, as I make my comeback this time, I feel like it would be a shame if I don't do it, so I'm thinking about what kind of challenge would suit me. I honestly don't know what to do. I don't know if I should do a vocal challenge or something. Haha.

Is there anything you feel has changed compared to when you first debuted?

It seems like a lot has changed. First of all, the voice seems to be different from when it debuted compared to recently. And as a person, I have changed a lot. Actually, I thought I wasn't afraid, but I was very afraid, and there were times when I was very afraid when taking on a new challenge, but as I organized a lot of my thoughts and went through challenges in succession, I now feel like I can accomplish more.

-When listening to Young K's music, his ability to capture everyday life stands out. Is there something that you consider important when working?

▶First of all, what I try to keep when writing lyrics is a way to attract attention in some form in the introduction. Even if it doesn't attract attention, it can explain the feeling of the song. And when I first enter the chorus, I think about the melody, the feeling of the lyrics, and the song title. In her daily life, she observes with interest and tries to capture things. In the past, I was waiting for inspiration to strike and I ended up waiting endlessly. If I don't have any IDs, I might end up making everyone wait at the work site, so I usually think of ideas and write ones that go well with a certain song. So, I try to prepare so that my thoughts can come out to some extent.

I wonder if you are trying to differentiate between DAY6 and solo music.

It doesn't feel like I'm trying to rule out Day6's appearance. Actually, if I exclude that, I don't know what I can show. I feel like I'm finding my color through my solo album, so I'm not sure what my characteristic is. Still, the current conclusion reached through this series of processes is that I think that being able to create a variety of colors through various attempts may be my strength.

You're 29 years old this year. Are the changes you feel as you get older reflected on your music?

When I look at the results of my work, I can feel the passage of time. There is a definite change in my thoughts and my voice as well. In terms of the work process, I am definitely becoming more skilled as the number of songs I work on increases, but I also feel that there are areas where I need to be more careful. I try not to get too used to it or take the easy route. If I try to go down that path without realizing it, I try to be aware of it myself.

Was there a turning point that you felt while making music for a long time?

I don't remember exactly what moment it was, but I felt that I had already passed that turning point. I had doubts about whether I could continue as a singer or musician for a long time, doubted my abilities, and thought about quitting a lot, but the fans on stage looked at us as beings of great value. When I saw that, I thought I should work harder, and as I did it (again), I started to like music more, and I saw myself enjoying it. At the same time, I thought that I wanted to do music longer and go on stage.

There are so many listeners who like Day6 and Young K’s music. What do you think is the secret to receiving so much love?

I really appreciate that you think so. I thought I was making music that would not get old and would be enjoyable for anyone to listen to, and I'm so glad that it was delivered. I want to continue making good music in the future.

This is your 9th year since your debut. How do you feel?

When I look back on my time as a member of Day6, from my training days, I think it was the best, even though it may not have been perfect. If I were to give a score, I think I would give it around 95 points. Of course, there will be some shortcomings, but I don't think it will be impossible, and I want to open up the possibility of development and make up for it in the future. However, just like in music, as a human being, the more I do, the more I see my shortcomings, so I feel like the remaining 5% is not being filled. (Smile)

Is there any music you want to do as a musician in the future?

To quote Day6 member Wonpil, ‘I want to make music that doesn’t age.’ I think good music that is considered a masterpiece is music that never gets old, no matter what sound it has, what vocals it has, or even what form the lyrics take. So, I want to make music that doesn’t age, but I don’t know if it will come out well every time. (Smile)

[photoniccyclone]

SFR Update - Chapter 7 Rough draft completed plus sneak peak!

Hello everyone! Just an exciting announcement to announce that the draft for chapter 7 (and possibly 8) has officially been completed!

This means the editing phase can now finally begin and will (hopefully) not take too long, though, I'll still have to make sure I can work it into my schedule like I did with the with the draft so I don't know if I'll be able to work on it everyday, and I still don't know how many edits this thing actually really needs. I won't be able to determine that until I make my first pass read through which comes after I run it through Grammarly to get all the grammar errors out and just to make it sound better haha. But anyway that's it for now. I'll leave you all with a little sneak peak of the chapter ;)

Please keep in mind this is pulled from the rough draft and I only quickly ran this segment through grammarly and gave it a quick once over so there may be errors or things that sound... off..

Callum couldn’t move. His body was locked in place as time appeared to slow down to a crawl. Though the image in front of him was evident, a small part of his brain still refused to believe it and subconsciously forced him to blink rapidly just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. However, the image before him remained unchanged. 

“J-Janai,” Callum managed to stutter out, still recovering from the surprise as well the many different questions racing through his head. 

Janai simply stood in the doorway and nodded weakly, her face still holding that anxious and slightly embarrassed smile he had seen when he opened the door. She fidgeted nervously with her hands, wringing them in front of her, and sighed audibly as her head drifted downward, taking small incremental steps as her face molded into an expression of deep thought, sadness, and a little bit of… regret? She took a small look to the side for the moment, appearing to glance at the trees over by the edge of the clearing before looking back at Callum, her smile returning, though far more crestfallen than before. She then took a prolonged intake of air before exhaling suddenly in a short burst through her mouth, appearing to make her own mental preparations. “I’m… I’m sorry… I know this visit is unexpected… and I promise to explain everything… But don’t worry, I promise you Sol Regem didn’t send me so-” 

Callum didn’t even let Janai finish her sentence before rushing at her, arms outstretched. The loose, hanging, golden parts of Janai’s armor clinked quietly, swinging back and forth as the force of Callum’s embrace nearly sent her stumbling backward. Once the Sunfire queen had managed to compute what had just happened, her lips curved into a far warmer and genuine smile as she returned the gesture. 

All at once, Callum’s emotions re-fired, his eyes once again building up the salty fluid he had become all too familiar with over the past few days. He let out a few quiet sobs before chuckling to himself, separating from the embrace and wiping his eyes dry. Finally, he smiled at the face before him, his eyes still a deep red. “I’m… sorry about that… “ He chuckled again. “Just… with everything happening recently… you know… it’s… uh… It’s good to see a friendly face again.” 

It really did feel good. Since this whole thing with Sol Regem, the only faces Callum had seen from Xadia had been cruel or hostile, having come here to take his kingdom and everything important to him, treating those who opposed them without any semblance of mercy. After what felt like so long of this seemingly without end, it was nice to see once again a reminder of the Xadia he had seen and geeked out about two years ago, the Xadia he had fought and risked his life for at the battle of the storm spire. 

“Good to see you too, Callum,” Janai said warmly. However, she quickly once again fell to uncertainty. “Uh…” She croaked out briefly before hastily checking her surroundings, her head darting to different sections of the sky and treeline. “Is it ok if we come in? I know this is all very sudden, but… we shouldn’t be seen out here. Again, I’ll explain everything soon… please… “ She pleaded. 

We? Callum thought before something orange and fluffy caught his eye. Looking a little to the left, he finally took notice of the hot cat sitting just behind Janai, returning Callum’s glance with its wide, sky-blue eyes, tilting its head to the side in an adorable, innocently curious fashion with its tail swaying slowly up and down. 

“Y-yeah of course… please…”

[prideofcelestia]

Hi hi! Congrats on your milestone! I'm a new follower myself, and I'd love to send a letter to our favorite Prince if there's still room :) I copy+pasted it below, but I'm happy to send elsewhere if that's easier for you. Thank you!

Hello darling,

It's been too long since we last snuck away together, and I bet I'm not the only one who's having trouble sleeping alone lately. I'm beginning to suspect you were right about Lucifer being onto us... he's started stopping by my room far more often than usual, and he was obviously eyeing my closet with suspicion during his last little evening drop-in. As if you could even fit in there! I suspect the others are still clueless, though. With the exception of Barbatos, obviously; he knows practically everything about you, after all. It makes me envious!

On a more somber note, I've realized something truly heartbreaking, my dear. You still have yet to show me the private springs where you like to bathe in the light of the moon. I'd love to see your face in that ethereal light, to run my fingers through your hair and feel the warmth of your body next to mine, drifting quietly through the water... thinking of it makes me miss you even more, my Dia.

I hope we can be together again soon.

Yours always and completely,

Kaede

P.S.

In case you were wondering, Luci's visits never seem to occur past 3 AM ;) See you at today's meeting!

hellloooo this was soooo cute T^T it filled my heart up with the softness. thank you and welcome. have a great time ahead!

My darling,

It has indeed been too long since I last held you in my arms. Too long for my liking, beloved. You are correct to guess my sorrow. The only solace I get while I toss and turn on my lonely bed is that when I wake up the next morning, I shall be able to see you again.

Lucifer and I have known each other for a long time. I can't help but be distracted at work, wondering what is occupying your time. I can't help but wishing it was me. And Lucifer being Lucifer notices the restlessness I feel because of our distance. He notices the way I look at you when you greet me in the hallways. He notices the way I say your name, like a forbidden prayer. He notices how I smile when something reminds me of you, and it gets quite difficult to hide the joy when every little thing reminds me of you.

I can't do anything to stop the recent side glances he had been giving me. I am much too distracted by your thoughts to care enough, darling. What should you think of me now!

Haha, Lucifer might have noticed the wrapped gift I quickly hid when he entered my office the other day. That might also explain his interest in your closet.

Oh, my dear, meet me! Meet me soon so that I can profess my love in your ears rather than letting it bleed on a paper that passes through so many hands. This love between us is our sanctuary and I want it to be our safe haven only. It fills me with trepidation to not be the one to hand you my confessions of love and gifts of long consideration.

You need not be envious of Barbatos, darling. A demon, even one like myself who is in the public eye, has sides reserved for the special person he falls in love with. You are the only one who will see that part of me. Not Barbatos, not Lucifer, not anyone who is not you.

It is heartbreaking indeed. There's nothing I would like to do more than to show you all the wonders of my world. You are the brightest star of my galaxy, the shiniest twinkle on my crown. I want you to have wonderful experiences with me, darling and I can no longer be patient. Just a few days more and we will be together.

I want to hold you tightly and tenderly at the same time if possible. Let time stand still while I feel you beside me; I may believe the blessing to be a dream. I want to get intoxicated by your eyes and your smile and everything that you have to offer. Your company while we relax in the hot springs will be just the remedy to my tired soul. I can't wait to whisper sweet nothings in your ear before kissing you. I hope I can restrain myself when we meet again. You are all that goes through my mind.

How long since we are united? I can hardly stay sane.

Yours truly and yours only,

Signed with the tender love I wish to show you soon,

Diavolo.

P.S - Thank you for the information, my sweet. I am looking forward to it. Before I forget, Lucifer will be away for a week :) on some business so we need not worry for a while :) I can't wait to spend some quality time with you soon.

[jewwyfeesh]

To The Gentle You 4

Writer: Mitsuki

Character(s): Sakuma Ritsu, Narukami Arashi, Shino Hajime

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

CN Proof by: stcrfeesh

Arashi: Goodness, Ritsu-chan does like to act like a spoiled kid~ if you only want a lap pillow, I would be more than happy to dote on you ♪

Season: Summer

Location: Garden

Arashi: ……?

Hajime: …… ♪

Ritsu: (……)

(When I first woke up, I was in such a daze that I missed the opportunity to say hello… my original plan was to pretend to be woken up when Nacchan and Ha~kun found me…)

(But they seem to be so engrossed in their discussion of the flavour and effects of various floral teas, that they were com~pletely oblivious to me hiding here to take an afternoon nap.)

(But given the current atmosphere, it doesn’t seem appropriate to interrupt them. Ya~wn… I feel a little sleepy just waiting for them. In that case, I’ll just go back to sleep… ♪)

Arashi: Yay~ It’s done! My special floral tea blend ♪

It would be great if there were someone else around to taste test. Having tasted so many different floral teas earlier on, I doubt my tongue’s able to tell the difference for much longer.

Hajime: Ahaha, me too. Though, I can already smell a really refreshing fragrance, so the taste must also be really good.

I think that Narukami-senpai is naturally gifted in the art of tea blending; I have faith that this blend of floral tea will definitely help Kagehira-senpai relax ♪

Arashi: Ehehe, Hajime-chan’s such a sweet talker ♪ It’s thanks to you that I was able to blend it successfully.

Recently, whenever I see Mika-chan, his eye bags seem to have gotten a lot darker. It’s obvious that he hasn’t rested properly, and it’s worrying me.

No matter how busy you are at work, one shouldn’t neglect their health. So, I decided to consult Hajime-chan on whether there were any herbal teas that can help with one’s sleep, as well as relax the nerves. I’m really thankful for this ♪

Hajime: Hehehe, I just so happened to be rather familiar with these things. To be able to blend floral tea with my senior, I feel really happy ♪

Arashi: As a token of appreciation, how about I bring Hajime-chan for hydrotherapy? Your skin will become really clear and hydrated~

Hajime: ……Um, Narukami-senpai, did you hear something?

Arashi: ……Eh?

Hajime: There seems to be something moving in the flowerbed over there…?

Arashi: Eh?! Hajime-chan, don’t scare me like this?!

Hajime: No, no, it’s not that type of supernatural horror story! It feels more like there’s someone hiding in there, wanting to play hide and seek with us……?

Arashi: Oh…? Could it be a cat that’s just passing by? My curiosity has been piqued…

Hajime: Then, let’s walk over quietly, and pry the flower bushes open—

KYAAAAAAA?! My wrist was suddenly grabbed tightly by an ice cold hand?!

Ritsu: Huhu… congratulations, you’ve finally found the Hidden Boss ♪

Hajime: —Eh? Turns out it’s just Ritsu-onii-chan. Just now I was so scared I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest…

Arashi: Goodness me, I was also given quite the scare. Surely Ritsu-chan wasn’t taking an afternoon nap in here this whole time?

Ritsu: Mmmm… Nacchan, Ha~kun, good morning~♪

Arashi: My, it’s already afternoon. Do you still intend on staying in bed, Ritsu-chan?

Ritsu: Turn’s out it’s already time for afternoon tea. Then, I’ll just invite myself into Nacchan and Ha~kun’s tea party ♪

Hajime: Haha, I’ll go and get the cup that Ritsu-onii-chan usually uses ♪ Ritsu-onii-chan, what tea would you like to drink today?

Ritsu: There’s already a pot of herbal tea over there, no? I’m fine with drinking that.

Arashi: That’s great! I was worried that there wouldn’t be anyone around to help taste-test the beverage and provide some feedback! Ritsu-chan, remember to share your thoughts about it with me after you’ve drank it!

Ritsu: Alrighty… gulp, gulp…

Mm~ ……

Arashi: My my, don’t leave me hanging like that. Quickly, tell me how does it taste?

Ritsu: Haha, Nacchan’s really impatient. Rest assured, it’s very delicious~♪

The floral fragrance really helps with relaxation; a warm feeling moves from your throat throughout your whole body.

Arashi: Ehehe, that does reassure me. I hope that after Mika-chan drinks this floral tea, he would also be able to enjoy a good sleep just like Ritsu-chan does ♪

Now that you mention it, you’re roommates with Mika-chan, right? Do you know what he’s been up to as of late?

That child undoubtedly looks like he’s hiding something, but whenever I ask him about it, he’ll always tell me “don’t worry about it~ it’ll be ready in two days”. What does that mean…?

Ritsu: Eh? Do you not know about it? So that’s how it is……

(It seems like Mikarin had wanted to give Nacchan a surprise. However, to the clueless Nacchan, it became a source of worry.)

(I definitely don’t intend on being a buzzkill and spoil it ahead of time, but since Mikarin has been working meticulously on Nacchan’s present as of late, he won’t come looking to chat with me anymore, so I feel very lonely too~)

(And those two earlier… if I hadn’t moved, it’s likely they still wouldn’t have noticed me… Perhaps even up till now…)

Arashi: Oh? Judging from Ritsu-chan’s expression, you seem to have some insider information~ Come on, tell me~

Ritsu: Nacchan would often say how secrets increase people’s glamour and charm, no? In addition, it’s better if some things remain unknown.

Arashi: Mm… if Ritsu-chan insists on not spilling the tea, then it can’t be helped. Though, why do you look kinda angry?

Let me guess. Ah, could it be because Hajime-chan and I had taken a long time to notice Ritsu-chan hiding in the bushes? As a result, Ritsu-chan felt as though he was given the cold shoulder, which then led to feelings of unhappiness?

Hajime: Ah, so that’s how it is?! I’m so sorry, it wasn’t my intention to give Ritsu-onii-chan the cold shoulder…!

Ritsu: Oh~? Rea~lly? If I could use Ha~kun as my lap pillow, and have him feed me refreshments whenever I want, maybe my mood would improve~?

Hajime: I- I understand. If doing so would make Ritsu-onii-chan forgive me, then…… ♪

Arashi: Goodness, Ritsu-chan does like to act like a spoiled kid~ if you only want a lap pillow, I would be more than happy to dote on you ♪

Ritsu: ………… (looks away)

Arashi: Eh~ Why does it seem like you’re ignoring my existence on purpose? Has Ritsu-chan always been this resentful?

Ritsu: Nacchan, since you already have Mikarin, it’s only fair that I get to be close to Ha~kun.

Arashi: Ehehe, it turns out, Ritsu-chan is jealous. Seriously, you’re also someone very important to me~ Lemme give you a tight hug ♪

Ritsu: Hh… Nacchan, hurry up and let go, I can’t breathe… I yield, I yield~☆

Arashi: Ah, how ticklish! I’m going to launch my counter-attack, too! Watch out~!

Hajime: Uwah?! Narukami-senpai, why did you turn to me? D-don’t injure innocent bystanders by mistake?!

Ritsu: Ha, haha… okay, okay. I surrender… ♪

Arashi: Huff, huff… I laughed till my stomach’s about to hurt! I suppose Ritsu-chan has already cooled off?

Ritsu: Mm… most importantly, in regards to whatever Mikarin’s doing… It’s not anything bad, so sit back and relax… ♪

Arashi: ……?

← Chapter 3 | ES x LC Masterlist | Chapter 5 →

[gemsmrt]

Xiao goes to the Weinlesefest part 2

truly this has nothing to do with the weinlesefest at this point i just dont know what else to call this story prompt.

Xiaoven fluff with a bit of Zhongluc spilled in oopsie haha

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Xiao dreams of Barbatos, the God of Wind, serenading him until his days end. What a wonderful dream indeed, staring into the Gods eternally blue eyes, that of a deep ocean. Xiao slowly starts to fade back into consciousness. He realizes this tune is being played to him in the real world and darts up to see Venti and the Traveler next to him.

"Xiao!" they both exclaim, jumping from their seats across the room.

"Thank Barbatos you're alright, we weren't sure when you would return from your slumber." Venti says with remorse in his eyes. Xiao still waking from his groggy slumber.

Xiao finds the Traveler looking at him with worry in their eye, "I guess I shouldn't have left you alone with the bard after all, huh?" They smile, which Xiao assumes is so he does not worry.

"How much time has passed." Xiao grabs his head, still feeling very foggy.

"It's been almost a week, Xiao. The-" as Venti tries to explain what has happened the past week, Xiao quickly removes the covers he was under, and runs out of the bed. "Hey! you're not r-" Venti tries to reason with a distraught Xiao.

"I have to return to Liyue." Xiao interrupts, speeding to the door. The Traveler and Venti barely have time to move before Xiao starts sprinting off.

"You really think you can protect Liyue in the shape you're in right now?" Xiao turns his heads sharply as he recognizes the voice. He sees Zhongli sitting on a bench, with a cup tea and a book, just outside of the room he had left. "You didn't even remember your spear."

Xiao stops suddenly, unsure how to respond, "Mo- Zhongli, what are you doing here?" Xiao's slip of the tongue was expected, after all, Xiao has referred to him as Morax up until recently. Still, Xiao knows that with this kind of forgetfulness there's no way he could protect anything right now.

"I sensed a change in your presence, and came to make sure you weren't hurt. Do you mind if we head back to your room?" Xiao just realizing how different he felt with Zhongli's comment. He follows Zhongli back to the room he was staying in, realizing he no longer feels the weight of karmic debt.

As everyone gets settled back in the room Xiao was just resting in, the four of them sit at the dining table in the room. "We're sure you have questions, Xiao, where would you like us to start?" The Traveler asks, trying their best to keep their cool.

"Where are we?" Xiao mumbles, feeling weary still.

"We are at Master Diluc's Manor, Dawn Winery." Venti starts, happy as could be to see Xiao awake, "When I brought you back into Mondstadt, I ran into Master Diluc. He offered to let you stay here as long as you needed."

Xiao, confused as to why Barbatos would call anyone Master, "Does he... Know? About you?"

"He does, as well he knows about Zhongli. After all, I don't think Master Diluc would have let him in here otherwise." Venti chuckles. "I'm sad you weren't able to wake up before the end of the Weinlesefest, but oh so happy you are awake, Xiao." Venti goes to grab Xiao's hand. While Xiao is slightly confused by this motion, he cant help but feel warm inside at the touch.

Zhongli coughs a bit, which in turn has Venti pull his hand away, "Yes, we are all grateful to see this slumber has passed." Zhongli turns to the Traveler and Venti, "If you two don't mind, I would like to speak to Xiao alone for a moment."

While this makes Venti grumble a bit, the Traveler grabs Venti's shoulder and says, "Not a problem, we'll be waiting in the hall." The Traveler nearly pushes Venti out of the room. Xiao can surely sense that Venti and Zhongli do not get along the greatest, and thus far have only been here together for the sake of him.

"Why did you send them away?" Xiao wonders, feeling as though he already knows the answer to this question.

"I want to know why you came to Mondstast," Zhongli puts his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers together to set his chin on, staring intensely at Xiao, "Not that I have a problem with you leaving, nor would that matter. You are free to do as you please now. I just wonder what brought you here in particular."

Xiao thinks carefully about how to word this, "I had met the Traveler in Qingce village, by pure chance, and they had requested I join them for a festival."

"Qingce Village? This is not normally where you reside." Zhongli questioned.

"No, it is not. I was looking for a particular type of flower, the Qingxin. I thought it could help with the pain I was enduring." Xiao would not say this out loud, but it made him think of all those years ago, when he was saved from him insanity. He noticed the God who played that tune wore a similar flower, and thought it would help him endure. "I ended up wandering into Qingce Village somehow. Meeting with the Traveler, it seemed like a fated occurrence. That's why I went with them."

Zhongli lets out a deep sigh, "I see, this makes sense for you. After everything that has happened, I do not blame you for trying to make sense of it in this way." Zhongli seemed to be talking to him almost as a father figure at this point. "You've noticed the aura of your karmic debt has dissipated, no?"

"I have, I believe this to be because of Barbatos- Er, Venti," Xiao can still tell he is out of sorts, but he is regaining himself, "He had saved me from insanity long ago, from quite a distance at that time. I had asked him to play the melody for me once again. I am led to believe that being within such close proximity to him while he played this, it eradicated the karmic debt from my soul."

Zhongli took a long pause to settle with this information, after a few minutes he looked up and said, "Very well. It seems you are now aware you do not need my permission to do as you please, however I will still grant you this permission, knowing your demeanor." Zhongli stood up, heading to exit the room, "Before I go, I would like to leave you with some advice."

Xiao looked at him perplexed, "And what would that be?"

"Do not be afraid to experience human emotions and embraces. You may find they become a necessary part of your survival." Zhongli turned to see Xiao blushing, and left the room with a smile on his face.

Zhongli left the room to find the bard, the Traveler, and Diluc not too far, but far enough that they surely did not hear the discussion that just went on, "As Xiao has regained his consciousness I must make my leave." Zhongli turns to Diluc, "Young Master, I hope you do come to visit me for tea some time." Zhongli proceeds to grab Diluc's hand, leaving a short, breathy kiss on it before he exits.

Venti and the Traveler looking perplexed, however Dliuc just laughs a bit, "He must have read some of the books I have laying around on old Mondstadt traditions, not realizing the gesture was meant as one of desire." With his red hair and bright flush across his face, he truly did look like a cherry tomato at that moment. Venti and the Traveler look at each other and start to giggle.

Xiao finally stepping out of the room, the group starts walking towards him.

"Xiao, are you alright? You're looking to be in full health again." The Traveler states, observing his movement, "What do you plan to do from here?"

"Yes, I'm feeling quite better," He cant help but feel the edges of his mouth curl, "I'm sure you could sense my demonic aura has faded?"

"I didn't want to assume anything, but yes. I can notice the difference clearly. This is good news, right?" The Traveler questions.

Xiao exhales a sigh of relief, "Yes it is. It means I am free to do as I please." He pauses to look up at Venti's worried face. "I know I can't stay here much longer, and I'm sure you would like to get on to your next adventure?" He turns to the Traveler while saying.

The Traveler, a bit distraught with Xiao's analysis, "I mean, I can stay for a bit to help you get situated, but yes. I would need to head back to Sumeru fairly shortly."

This makes Xiao chuckle quite a a bit, "I am teasing, Traveler. I understand your situation. I can take care of myself from here. Go, find your twin." The Traveler perks up with a grin, nodding at Xiao and heading out.

"Please, take care of yourselves!" The Traveler exclaims before exiting Dawn Winery.

"That Traveler, always making work for themself," Diluc states plainly, "Well, I assume the two of you will be out shortly?"

Xiao gets flustered at the notion at the two of them, "I- Cant speak for Venti, but I will be heading back to Liyue before the night sets."

"Very well, while I do not know you well, please know you will have a friend and place to stay here if you are ever back in Mondstadt." Diluc, stoic as ever, looking Xiao in the eyes. Xiao has no reason not to trust him. To think, Xiao made friends along this ride.

"What about me?" Venti chimes in.

Diluc's stoic presence turns cold as ice, "You have taken too much wine, and could rot in the alleyway of the tavern for all I care," Venti looks saddened by the sentiment, "However, if someone is with to keep an eye on you, I suppose I could let you stay as well." Venti lights up, while Diluc looks to almost immediately regret this statement.

Xiao gets his things sorted, not that there's much to sort through, and meets Diluc and Venti at the exit. "Thank you, Diluc. I'm glad I could count on you." He says as he and Venti walk through the door.

Venti and Xiao walk up the path for a bit before Xiao stops, "Venti, I need to thank you again. This curse I had, I'm not sure how to live without it, but I have only you to thank."

Venti stops and turns around to Xiao, "Really, it was nothing. I'm just glad my work as a bard could help you." But it wasn't just his work as a bard, his presence alone softens Xiao's demeanor, whether for the better or worse.

"Where do you... plan to go from here?" Xiao asks Venti. It feels like time is at a stand still with these words. Xiao knows he would like Venti to stay with him, but is aware of the high demand of that request.

Venti's cheeks flush pink, his foot digs into the path, "Actually, I was hoping to accompany you, wherever you may be going."

Time feeling ever slower, Xiao could not believe the words that left his lips. Xiao knows why he wanted Venti's presence around him, but why would the God of Wind want to spend his time travelling around with Xiao? It perplexed him, and before he realized it the bard had stepped all too close to him. Though, he wasn't nervous about this as before.

"Hello? Xiao? If you do not want me to accompany you this is fine, but please just say it." Venti starts to pout.

"N-no. That's not it. I just can't understand why you, God of Wind, would want to spend time traveling with me?" Xiao truly could not understand why, he needed to know.

Venti stood there, thinking, "Well, it may be because I want to get to know you. For reasons even I am not sure of yet, I like you, and I want to understand you." Venti reaches out for Xiao's hand.

Xiao, disgruntled, trying to hide how much he enjoyed that statement, "Very well," Xiao grabs hold of Venti's extended hand, "Let us travel together in hopes of understanding one another."

Venti couldn't help but laugh, and Xiao couldn't help but smile. As they start to walk together, hand in hand, Venti interlaces their hands together. Xiao, still not understanding these gestures of affection, can't help but feel warmth in his heart when Venti does this.

"Alright, so where are we headed to?" Venti asks.

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This is longer than the last part, however i think its fluffier so i hope you all enjoy

also i havent proofread this. i have to go run errands shortly so i will proofread when i get back

[zhongrin]

My main team consists of Tighnari as main DPS, raiden as sub DPS, Venti as cc and zhongli for shields and being my favourite.

I dropped my xiao some time ago because I want to have fun with as many characters as I can, but i still use him in the abyss (I mean, he is almost triple crowned, only his normal attack is on level 8). Although I still feel guilty for leaving him, diluc, Barbara and kaeya behind, but I want to have fun with new characters as well and dendro reactions

(oh dear, I hope xiao don't hate himself for that, poor baby)

I pulled for tighnari on his banner and build him almost immediately, so foxboy knows he is loved. He also has only 5 star weapon on the main team (thundering pulse that I got by accident). He surely knows that he has better fate than cyno, that I got by accident when I was pulling for some four star on his banner. Cyno is level 50 with two star artifacts just like my qiqi, because I don't have any other use for him. But still, I had to get into hard pity for raiden and now I don't have much left for alhaitham, and I feel like he has something to do with it.

Raiden was build to level 60 in a single day, now being close to 80, with burst on level 9 and maxed out catch on the start. I also put her on my team after I got her (was using Fischl/Keqing as placeholders). Since she is my newest addition that I use more than others to test her and for fun, that might be a reason to panic for others I guess.

Venti is the most replaceable on my team. It sounds brutal and all, but he is on that third slot where I switch to low leveled characters (currently my level 40 beidou) to level up their friendship level. I like his crowd control, but for the reactions my kazuha/Fischl duo is way better. And I think he knows that, as he is being switched the most

Zhongli, my dearest. He is loved alright. I wanted to go for the staff of homa for him, but hutao and yelan look too good to pass. He has the meteor crowned, and shield close behind. I even leveled up his normal attacks when I wanted to make him a physical DPS (yes, I tried). Now he is a hybrid with 28k hp and 60/180 crit/dmg ratio. And I use him on almost every team, no matter who I want to use, he is usually there, in his 4th slot that I use for healers/shielders. Although I feel like he would be jealous of how quickly I level up new additions. But I did had to spend money on him, because he sent qiqi my way.

tighnari be like "who are all these alarmingly powerful people" lmao-

samee i've been playing around with different characters (also bc i want to increase them friendship levels) but xiao is my go-to dps too, he's THE goat in my squad. my golden child <3

so far i only have xiao and zhongli triple-crowned. al haitham's gonna be triple crowned too once i manage to farm for the new materials haha i've been quite lucky with the mirrors, so fingers crossed he can be triple-crowned soon!!

when will tighnari come home i want his passive skill so much sobsob

kazuha is so good as cc and exploration in general, i love him hehe definitely money well-spent!

zhongli has a permanent spot on my team lmao he's a hybrid so i enjoy witching between having him as shielder or dps! he was mean about coming home for me too lol he also sent our granddaughter qiqi my way and persisted until close to 80 pity.... thank god his banner wasn't recent, otherwise i would have to explain said spending for the house loan review lmao still, did not regret pulling for him nonetheless <3

your team looks awesome shdfljskdlf i have yet to build many characters, so they're all over the place...