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annie-sae · 3 years

Text

Wouldn’t mind

Pairing: Kazutora x fem!reader, past Baji x fem!reader

Hurt/comfort

Author note: This is my way of dealing with Baji’s death finally being animated, this is me comforting myself so I don’t keep crying.

Also, I posted this on AO3 as well:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33561445

Part of the reason you decided to get close to him was kind of the same reason why you decided to help out Chifuyu and the remaining founding Toman members in any way you could; even if that meant putting yourself in various fights. It was a way to honor his memory.

You met Baji Keisuke; your Kei; as nothing more than a child because you were neighbors and your mom happened to be friends with his mother which ended in them arranging lots of playdates for you both ever since you could remember.

Your mothers always said you were meant to be and they were right, so yeah, they were delighted once you two finally stopped denying yourselves and started to date.

You two got together after one time in which Baji got into a particularly bad fight and you found him on your way home; his hands all bruised but despite how much they must have been hurting he was smiling in that unique way of his that always told you that no matter the pain he won and enjoyed himself.

To be honest you didn’t like that he always got into fights nor how reckless he could be but you had to admit that there was always something about the way his eyes glinted that drew you in.

You dragged him inside your home, knowing that his mother would flip out if she saw him and taking advantage of the fact that your mother was to get home late, you pushed him to the couch, went to the kitchen for a bag of frozen vegetables, grabbed his hand after cleaning the blood off and held the bag to his knuckles hoping that it would bring down the swelling.

There was no way of knowing who made the first move but next thing you knew after that was that you two were kissing; the frozen bag laying on the floor long forgotten. After that you finally acknowledged your feelings and started dating. There was no grand gesture, it was just one of many moments that you shared daily yet it was perfect.

Baji liked to keep you away from Toman businesses so for the most part you didn’t actually know the rest of the members except for Chifuyu; whom you met on various occasions while going to visit your boyfriend; and Mikey that you met as a child since you were always following around Baji and in a way became your friend too; but that was it. He kept that apart from the side of his life that involved you because he was well aware of how messy it could get and he didn’t want to drag you into any trouble.

Yet his gang life caught up to him, crashing into your world and pushing you into a lonely abyss that still to this day left a hole in your chest.

You’d always remember that dreaded day when your mother came home later than usual without letting you know anything, eyes teary and red rimmed. The moment she looked at you, she pulled you into a strong hug and sobbed as she caressed your hair murmuring a string of words you couldn’t really make out.

She was the one to deliver the news of his passing, how she was late because she was at the Baji household and had to accompany his mother to claim her son’s body after the woman received a call from the police station telling her that the boy had been stabbed and bled to death.

The day would never come when you’d forget the pain that shot through your body as you learned that he was gone. It hurt unlike anything else you have ever experienced, as if someone was crushing your chest like it was made out of paper, air knocked out of your lungs and the only thing you could do was scream helplessly his name as you held for dear life onto your mother’s frame. You felt bile rise up your throat so fast that it was a miracle that you didn’t throw up.

His funeral wasn’t any easier. Not when you arrived and his mom pulled you to his casket saying just how handsome he looked, inviting you to see him in a way that you couldn’t refuse.

Around an hour after yourself, arrived Chifuyu who went to you after giving his condolences to his best friend’s mother that held him the way she used to hold her boy but now she’d never get the chance to do anymore.

If you were being completely honest, you couldn’t remember much more of that day, your mind was hazy, too many gaps in the memory of all that transpired.

Only two things were clear as day in your mind. First was the way that Kei had looked inside that coffin smiling peacefully and for a moment you almost fooled yourself into thinking that he was just sleeping, but he was pale, his canines weren’t showing and his eyes were slightly sunken but you had to agree with his mom because he looked handsome indeed. The second was that Chifuyu stayed by your side throughout the whole thing, in fact he was the one who told you what actually happened and you were thankful for it all.

He told you what Baji did and why he did it and you believed it the second the words left his mouth because you knew him well and if there was anything that defined your beloved boyfriend was his heart, how willing he was to give anything for those that he cared about; his unwavering loyalty; you just wished he hadn’t put himself on the line for that.

Twelve years have passed and a lot of things changed since his parting, for starters you became a member of Toman.

One night; around a month after everything happened; you went to the Musashi temple fully aware that it was the place that the boys used as their base and in front of everyone gathered there; bracing yourself; you walked towards Mikey, bowed deeply and begged for him to accept you as a member.

At first most of the guys there laughed at you while others frowned and called you names shooing you away but you stayed still, that was until a big hand grabbed you by the arm and that was when you pulled away from it and punched the guy square in the nose remembering the time Baji taught you how to pack a punch. The guy tried to send a blow towards you but was stopped by Chifuyu yet the whole commotion came to a halt with Mikey’s commanding voice.

“Y/N, you know this is a guys-only gang”

“I’m aware, Mikey, but” you clenched your fists “but Keisuke cared about this gang so I feel like I must join, to protect everything he fought for” you raised your head “he also taught me how to fight so you don’t have to worry about me being a burden on you and I know a few things about first aid, I can carry my own weight” you were thankful for your mother being a nurse and having taught you a bit.

He stared at you, his eyes giving away nothing.

“The first division can take her in” Chifuyu supplied.

Mikey raised a brow and looked at another blonde guy.

“Takemitchy, you are the first division’s captain, do you agree to take her?” the guy straightened up and after sharing one look with Chifuyu he nodded.

An uproar started as a lot of guys started to complain about how bad of an idea it was to admit a girl in the gang but Draken stopped them with one word.

Mikey looked at you once more, then he sighed and nodded.

“Then welcome, Y/N L/N, from now on you are a member of the Tokyo Manji Gang under the first division”.

Later that day you gave your thanks to Chifuyu and Takemichi, for getting behind you and promised to help them in any way possible but Chifuyu made you promise to be safe and only join them as a last resource because he couldn’t allow Baji’s girlfriend to get hurt since he promised him he’d take care of you.

You knew that your parents wouldn’t be happy with you being a part of a gang but you had to do it, it was a way to stay close to Kei and you needed that or else you would have gone crazy, you were also thankful because life had it that you were assigned to the division that used to be his.

Shit happened but you always took things head on and you had to admit that Chifuyu and Takemichi played a crucial part in you surviving all the crappy things that happened until the gang disbanded. While still a member you were extremely grateful for makeup since it helped you hide from your parents a good amount of nasty bruises that came from the fights.

The second thing that changed was that you moved out of your parents’ house from the moment you started college and although at first it was hard and you were living in a tiny apartment that resembled more to a matchbox yet it was the only thing you could afford at the moment with the part time job you had but you were decided to not return home, not because you weren’t comfortable with them but because they were already doing too much for you by paying for your studies so you didn’t want them to be spending any more money on you.

You managed and after a while you got a better job that meant a higher pay grade and you moved out of your tiny place to your current one that was bigger and just a couple of minutes away from the cemetery where the Baji family grave was.

Even when you had exams due the next day, even when you were way too busy, you still made it a habit to go visit him daily, it didn’t matter if you had to walk for long or that you were so tired you could have fallen asleep while standing, you still went to see him.

Your mother told you once that maybe you should let go, that he wouldn’t like to have you clinging to him this much and to appease her you went to a couple of dates once every three months but you never made it past the first date but funnily enough that landed you a few long lasting friendships with some of the guys you tried to date.

One time his mom talked to you and told you just how grateful she was with you for loving her son the way you did but that you didn’t owe him anything, that you could move on because she was sure that was what he would have wanted and maybe she was right; to hell you knew that she was; but it wasn’t a matter of you feeling like you owed devotion to him but more like no one ever compared to him, not a single person awoke in you the same feelings he did, not with the same intensity it was kind of like a beautiful curse because you grieved daily his absence but you wouldn’t want it other way, even if you went back and told yourself that by loving him you’d end up in pain, you’d still go through it all because the time spent with him was worth it and you told her that so she smiled and even talked with your mother making her stop begging you to date and leave you to your own devices.

Another thing that changed was you because you cut your hair really short; yet without needing it you still wore a hair tie on your wrist daily as if it was some sort of amulet because it reminded you of him.

Also, with the bigger place you adopted three beautiful cats that you loved dearly, first there was Blue; whose black hair shone blue under certain light hence his name; then there was Leo; an orange tabby cat you found one day and adopted instantly; and Jin; a maine coon that was your appointed guardian and didn’t like anyone around you nor him.

The three always slept with you; which made you thankful for getting a big bed when you first moved; and in a way they made your life less lonely because in their presence you felt as if Keisuke was right there with you which made sense because you two had made plans about living together once highschool was over and then adopt a ton of cats, all the cats your parents never allowed in the house when you were younger.

Of course things don’t always end up the way we plan them, you knew that better than most although to be completely honest you never expected Kazutora to come into the picture.

You new who he was, on one occasion Kei told you that him speaking on his behalf and taking the full blame for what happened with Mikey’s older brother was a big factor on him staying out of juvie so in a way you were thankful to him but you also knew; through Chifuyu’s retelling; what happened on that horrible halloween when you lost your whole world.

Even when you knew that everything had been planned out by Kisaki, for the longest time you were resentful towards Kazutora, even going as far as to curse his sole existence because hadn’t it been for him then your Keisuke would surely still be with you. It took you years for you to come to terms with everything and accept that Baji chose to leave all because he cared about that boy way too much.

You came to realize that by hating Kazutora, by wishing him the worst and spending so much energy in resenting him you were betraying Kei’s wishes.

His final will was to keep Toman’s funding members; Kazutora included; safe, he chose death, going down as a villain to his friends, all just to protect them, to save him so the least you could do was carry on his wishes and look after them, not only after Chifuyu and the others but you also felt the moral obligation towards Keisuke, to welcome Kazutora and help him back into his life.

Now, you went to help around Chifuyu and Kazutora’s shop, fully aware that it was their way of honoring his memory, by living out the dream he never had the chance for.

You could understand them because everyday you did the same, hell, you even went to study veterinary because that had been the plan all those years back; he was supposed to open his pet shop and you were supposed to be the one to tend to the animals, he always said that you had the best shot because you usually did rather good at school.

You met Kazutora the day after Chifuyu picked him up from prison. You already knew that he would be joining you two for lunch the following day because he told you in advance in case you weren’t ready to meet the man that had played a big part in your old boyfriend’s death.

Chifuyu by that point had become your best friend in the world, your constant support. What started as a way to cope with Baji’s loss, as both of you searching in the other for any vestiges of his existence with the passing of the years turned into something more, a fraternal bond forged through shared grief.

Chifuyu was like a brother to you and you knew that he saw you as a sister, you cared about him deeply.

If you were being completely honest, you were a bit torn when a month prior to the release, he announced to you that he’d be picking up the guy and was planning on welcoming him as a roommate and as an extra hand at the shop; that is if the other accepted. I mean, you’d have to be crazy to just accept it as it was, no questions asked because whether manipulated and messed up in the head, it didn’t change the fact that he was the one to stab him.

Of course you knew it hadn’t been easy for him to reach that, it was obvious that he had thought it through, you could see in his eyes just how much went into making that decision but that he was sure that that was Baji would have liked and you knew that as well because that was the type of person Keisuke used to be, a bit rough on the edges but so caring and willing to give for those he loved, and he sure as hell had proven how much he cared about the guy.

You had never talked to him, what little you knew about him was what Baji had mentioned all those years back when he almost went to prison and what Chifuyu told you, how he was getting the help he needed and seemed to be making progress but that was it.

To say it was awkward at first was a big understatement. He was extremely quiet and even after you greeted him he refused to make eye contact while you kept fidgeting in place trying to come up with something to say. Thank god for Chifuyu since he was the one to introduce you although he could have been a bit more careful when he introduced you as Baji’s old girlfriend, although you couldn’t blame him because there was no way around it, that was what you were.

The moment he understood who you were he froze, eyes focusing on his hands under the table. You noticed how uneasy he became and with a look you asked Chifuyu to give you a minute, thankfully he understood and trusting you excused himself from the table.

You reached out, stilling your hand in the middle of the space between you when you saw him flinch, something that reminded you of the time when you encountered Leo for the first time; hurt and scared. Kazutora in a way resembled him, something lonely and broken about him that gave you the final push to get close.

Just like you did way back for Leo you extended your open hand towards him, facing upwards to show him that you had no ill intentions and you rested your hand on the table just a few centimeters away from his arm, not wanting to startle him but wanting to show him that you were trying to get close.

“I don’t hate you, Hanemiya-kun”

His gaze zeroed on your hand and then eyes of the color of the lightest brown you’ve ever seen; almost the same shade as amber; met yours wary and trembling but you simply nodded confirming that you were being completely honest.

“Why?” his voice came out broken.

“Because Keisuke cared about you” you smiled, feeling your eyes get watery and Kazutora’s face became blurry due to the tears.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I- I wish I could take it all back, I really do, I...” you heard the words come out cracked and you shook your head and reached for his arm.

“I know...it’s fine. Like I said, I don’t hate you, it’s been a while since that happened and I’ve made up my mind, I’ve already accepted it as part of life” that’s a lie and you know, you miss him every day so much that you still cling to the little things he left behind, that’s the reason why you haven’t been in a relationship after him.

You quickly wiped the tears out of your eyes and looked at him once more. “I’d like to be there for you, maybe be friends even, that is if you’d like that”

Kazutora’s mind was running laps. Was he hearing you correctly? Did you actually say that you wanted to be friends with him? Be friends with the guy that killed your boyfriend nonetheless. He couldn’t wrap his head around that thought, it was simply impossible, he was a villain, a rotten fruit that nobody had ever liked and that poisoned the only good things he had in his life, why would anyone want to be near him?

First there was Chifuyu; who for all he could gather used to consider Baji as his best friend; welcoming him into his apartment, offering him a place to stay and even a job no questions asked, that was already hard to understand, but now having you willing to welcome him? That was almost ridiculous because you surely knew, he saw the way you interacted with Chifuyu, there was no way in hell he didn’t tell you, so why?

Why were you being kind to him? So gentle? Why couldn’t you just scream and curse him? Heaven knows for how long he has been cursing himself, regretting everything he did, from Shinichiro to Baji. He deserved to be yelled at, to be shunned away from society, he was deserving of pain and should be tossed to the abyss of loneliness, forever in the dark, far away from the sun.

He couldn’t fathom why on God's name was Baji’s girlfriend in front of him extending her delicate hand towards him. But even when he couldn’t understand he wanted to accept it. He knew he deserved nothing given how he had taken two lives but he wanted the embrace so badly.

He wanted company, friends, he didn’t want to be forever an outcast due to his bad decisions but instead he wanted to belong, to feel some sort of comfort, he wanted to bask in the sun’s warmth and for once in a very long time feel a bit of peace, he wanted saving, someone to tell him he was worthy even when he knew he wasn’t.

He looked at you once more, and something felt warm inside his chest; even his throat tightening; when he saw that you were still smiling gently at him despite the rebel tears that had escaped from your eyes.

“I’d like that” he smiled wobbly. “Also, Kazutora is fine”

“Then let’s be friends, Kazutora-kun” your smile grew broader and that was the start.

Surprisingly after that, it didn’t take long for you to grow comfortable with each other. He was quiet and would often be found spacing off but he was considerate towards you, actually he returned the same kindness you gave him, although it was evident that he was still wary and a bit rough on the edges he tried hard and you could see, so whenever he was having a bad mood you tried not to take it personally.

Through gentle words and patience, you won him over, even those around you were surprised at how quickly he warmed up to you but there was just something in him that pulled you, maybe that same thing that pushed you to adopt Leo when you found him malnourished and hurt on your way home from the cemetery or maybe it was something else.

Just as he warmed up to you, you warmed up to him. It was easy to talk to him, he was always willing to lend you an attentive ear, listening to your ramblings about the monotonous things that happened at the clinic, it didn’t matter that he knew nothing about the people you mentioned, he always listened like it was the most important thing in the world.

At first your interactions were always in company of Chifuyu, mostly at the shop while you went to visit which actually ended in you helping around to organize the merchandise or on the usual checkups on the animals to ensure that they were in the utmost condition for the moment someone decided to welcome them into their home.

Then, Kazutora started to walk you to the station but slowly that turned into him accompanying you all the way home and since he was taking the time to go with you you started offering him a cup of tea at your house before he’d leave again to get back to his and Chifuyu’s place.

That wasn’t the end of it because one cup of tea turned into two, then three and finally what started as a thanks for the inconvenience turned into hours-long talks about the most menial things just because.

Your cats loved him; Blue was always rubbing himself against his legs while Leo wasted no time to go lay on his legs and with a meow demand to be petted at the moment; but the most amazing thing of all was that Jin didn’t hate him, in fact he got way too comfortable with him which was a thing that you’d never seen, the only other person besides yourself that he liked was Hina, hell, not even Chifuyu had been able to charm the bigger cat and now apparently he didn’t mind Kazutora trailing behind you when even up to that day whenever he was visiting Chifuyu would get a growl from Jin but not Kazutora.

He was nice to your babies, he liked them and you could see that he didn’t change his demeanour towards them even when he thought you weren’t looking, in fact his voice got softer when directed at them and you were also the kind of person that trusted animal’s perception so the fact that your beloved cats liked him really told you that he had changed from what little you knew about his ways before being sent to prison after Baji’s death.

Kazutora started noticing the little things about you, for starters the way you’d always be singing a random thing off tune but with such energy that it was amusing but when asked he’d swear on his life that he wasn’t bothered that he actually liked it even though you knew very well that you weren’t a good singer but the opposite yet there was something powerful about having him joining in the middle of your singing, even when he didn’t know the lyrics he’d be humming along.

You were a sight to behold for him because in all the mess of his life he had never encountered someone as lively as yourself. Even after losing Baji you tried your best, you were determined and hardworking and so kind, not only to him but to every living thing no matter if they were animals, people or even plants, you amazed him because you were always so willing to be gentle to anyone.

You were a soothing presence.

That was not to say you didn’t have your bad days, after all you were only human and it was simply impossible to be at one hundred percent everyday the whole day, but you pushed through and you were always quick to ask for forgiveness if you had an outburst towards someone, you were the kind to not withhold apologies even when you weren’t at fault. He could remember a handful of times in which you apologized when he was the one to step on your toes.

You, of all people apologized to him, a social reject, a vermin, you apologized to him as if he was worthy, as if that was the logical thing to do but he knew that no matter what you did he knew that he was the one that still owed you a lifetime of apologies.

He wasn’t an idiot, he knew how much Baji meant to you even to that day, he noticed the little pieces of him lingering in your everyday, like how you always wore a hair tie around your wrist even when your hair was way too short for you to ever need it and whenever you had to get your bangs out of your face you used hair clips, never the tie on your wrist, the way you always cracked your knuckles as if getting ready for a fight even if you were only checking the animals and the way you carried yourself in a way resembled the way Baji used to.

He never told you but a few times he found you at the cemetery by coincidence while visiting Baji and there was something heartbreaking about seeing you kneeling on the ground with trembling shoulders despite it being a hot day. He regretted what he did, not only because he felt guilty or ‘cause he missed his friend but also for your sake because he wanted to see your happy smile, he never wanted to hear your cries ever again.

Just like him, you started seeking his company more and more, not only were you inviting him to stay and talk after walking you home but you made plans with him and just him, to go window shopping, for a cup of coffee, lunch dates, movie premieres; because you liked going to the movies so much and discovered that he was an enthusiast as much as you; movies on the couch, even just lazy sundays at your house playing the entire day with your cats.

Of course reaching this state was quick yet slow, it was hard to explain, like you were close to him and enjoyed his company, but it was different than it was with Hina or even Chifuyu yet you wouldn’t call it romantic, not at first.

Sure, there was something to Kazutora, you weren’t blind so you could see clear as day that he was rather handsome, probably one of the prettiest guys you’d ever met but there was something more, something that pulled you, something broken and lonely that tugged at your heart and told you to care for him.

At such a young age he had been to prison on two occasions and you could actually see that that was simply the tip of the iceberg. He had to mature too soon, he mentioned vaguely that his relation with his parents wasn’t the best and his eyes at times looked older than he actually was, plus it took a long time for him to get used to your affectionate ways because your love-language was physical touch. You had a special fascination with hair and all of your friends were used to that but Kazutora was like a kicked puppy that was only learning to trust in people once more.

You were a new breeze of air into his life, with your caring ways and funny nature he fell. For the first time in his life he had someone like you, at first it was difficult for him to realize that the fuzzy feeling inside his gut whenever he looked at you or even heard your voice meant what people called love but it was a given because he had never felt that way before.

For the longest time he felt like love was a lie, he remembered how bad his home life was, how strained and full of pain the things between his parents were, even now from time to time he had nightmares of his mother crying as his father hit her and then her begging him; only a child; to pick sides.

He wanted to hold you close, to keep you away from harm and to listen to your laugh for days on end, for once his heartbeat quickened for someone, he found a safe place in your presence, you were an oasis after years roaming the desert. You were such an unusual kind of certainty in his life that he never had but that he had searched for so long.

While Kazutora realized rather quickly; in comparison to you; that you had wormed your way into his heart making a home for you it took you around three years and others pointing it out for you to actually realize that he meant to you more than a friend.

The first one was your mother although not as subtly but rather by saying that she was happy that you were now with Kazutora which took you by surprise because you weren’t.

That wasn’t the end of it, but only the beginning.

The next one was Hina one day you were sleeping over at her house, but the cherry on top was Chifuyu.

“Hey, I know it’s not really my business, but when are you going to get together?” he asked one time when you went out for coffee.

“What?” you asked mindlessly, stirring some sugar into your beverage.

“Yeah, you’re kind of driving me crazy, it’s kind of annoying feeling like a third-wheel without actually being one, just get it over with” he spoke before taking a sip from his own cup.

“What?” you snapped your head back to him.

“Is that the only thing you’re gonna say?” he looked at you through half-lidded eyes.

“Yes, because I honestly don’t understand a single thing of what you’re saying” you shook your head and took a sip from your coffee.

“What I’m saying is that it’s obvious that you like Kazutora” he said matter-of-factly.

“Of course I like him, he’s my friend, I like you too”.

“No, you don’t, you like me as your friend but you like Kazutora in a different way, a lovey-dovey way” he deadpanned.

“No, Kei-” you began just like you did whenever your mother used to bring up your love life or thereof lack of it.

“Baji-san has been gone for years already” he cut you, wincing as he said that and to you his words felt like a slap across your face.

“Look, I know, trust me, I do, but it’s been long enough and if there is someone that makes you feel good you should go for it, he wouldn’t want you being unhappy for him” he sighed and with a hand pushed his hair back.

“He asked me to take care of you because he wanted you to be alright, he wanted you to be happy and he’d probably punch me if I simply stood by and watched you being miserable” he pushed his cup to the side, leaned over the table to grab you by the shoulders and looked into your eyes seriously.

“I know you like him, don’t be an idiot, it’s painfully obvious with how you look at him and spend almost all of your free time with him, Baji-san won’t be mad at you for finding someone new and I believe that he’d be happy that it is Kazutora of all people”.

Before you could respond to that, the sound of a new message cut you off and when you looked sideways to your phone on the table, a soft smile graced your lips when Kazutora’s name appeared on the screen. Without thinking you opened it and it was some random video of a kitten; somewhere along the way it became a thing between you and it reminded you of how Keisuke used to send you daily pictures of the cats that went to his house.

“It’s Kazutora, right?” Your face grew hot once you came back to reality, remembering suddenly with whom you were and what you were talking about.

“I’ll let you be, but don’t be an idiot and let yourself be happy” and just like that Chifuyu ended that conversation and quickly changed topics.

You knew you liked him, you felt warm whenever he was around you, his voice soothed you even on the worst of days and you looked forward to his messages. You had learned to find comfort in his eyes but they were a wrong shade; not brown enough.

He wasn’t Keisuke. He’d never be.

A few days later you found yourself in the shop, helping around but constantly sending glances in his direction, his back facing towards you, looking painfully similar to Kei’s even down to the hair length, although the color wasn’t the right match with it’s blonde streaks you could still fool yourself into thinking it was him.

But then he’d turn to look at you and send a smile your way and there would be a beauty mark under golden eyes and a tiger tattoo where it shouldn’t have been and that smile was lacking a pair of prominent incisives peeking through.

You knew it was wrong to look at him searching for Keisuke, searching for your lost love in another, clinging to the remnants of his passing through the world but you missed him so much.

At times you felt like you couldn’t even breathe, you had even fallen asleep in front of his family grave after a long day if you went to visit at dawn after not being able to make it at morning but you had to visit him daily in order to feel in his company because if you ever thought of skipping a lump appeared in your chest crushing your heart.

Yet, even then, even when you realized it wasn’t Baji your heart would skip a bit and your stomach would twist.

Later that night you found yourself walking home with Kazutora by your side in complete but comfortable silence, feeling the warmth oozing from his arm that was left hanging at his side lightly brushing against yours, rising even the tiniest hair of your arm.

Kazutora had been going at it over and over for months. At first, when he realized what he felt for you he decided to bury it deep and forever carry it in silence but as time went on he craved your presence.

He started wishing for more, more smiles, those smiles to be only for him, he even found himself looking forward to getting hurt while playing with your cats because it meant that you would be cleaning up his hands and putting on a band-aid with the utmost care and attention even if they were the most insignificant scratches ever.

He liked having your attention, he liked that you replied to any message from him almost immediately; unless you were attending to a patient then you’d reply as soon as possible; he also liked how your eyes would get bigger whenever something amazed you or if you found something even remotely cute.

Your constant ramblings plagued his mind at every hour no matter if he was asleep. Hell, he even went to Baji’s grave to ask for permission to love you, even if he did so in silence he felt like he owed that much to his old friend because you were his girl after all.

Why did it have to be you? Why Baji’s? Why did you have to come into his life and be like the sun? You were too much for him, too perfect, too good while he was nothing but a mess, too fucked up, too far away from repair. For fuck’s sake, he was the one that took your boyfriend away, he would have been better off handling your hate but instead you were there giving him so much it almost pained him, only adding up to his guilt.

This had to be some sick game of the universe. God must have been having the time of his life laughing at how the killer fell in love with the victim’s old love.

Before any of you knew, you had already gotten home and like it became custom you invited him inside for a cup of tea.

As soon as you opened the door, your three babies rushed to the entryway to greet you, Jin being the very first, you hadn’t taken two steps inside when he was already brushing himself against your legs. The other two weren’t too far but to your disappointment Leo approached Kazutora before even looking at you.

“I’ll stop bringing you here, you’re stealing them away from me” you pouted while kneeling down to hug Jin who looked at Kazutora with no distaste, then you picked up Blue and let him nuzzle your neck, after that still holding him you went to rub Leo with your free hand once he finally took notice of you and remembered who bought him food and toys.

Kazutora’s hearty laugh filled your ears pulling your mouth from the pout into a smile.

“Leo knows who’s the cool one” he winked your way. “I’m kidding, he likes you more” he looked down at said cat “right pal? Isn’t your mom the absolute best?”

“Oh, shut up, flattery won’t take you anywhere” You felt blood rushing to your face so you stood up hiding your reddening face into Blue’s fur.

You hurried to the kitchen and then, out of his sight was when you put Blue down and started to boil some water, hearing over it as the door closed and seconds later Kazutora appeared with the other two trailing behind.

You ended up splayed on the bigger couch in your living room, your back leaning against his side while Jin laid on top of your legs while in Kazutora’s rested the other two cats. At that moment you were with your eyes closed, mindlessly caressing Jin while you listened to Kazutora talk to your cats in a baby voice that you wouldn’t have expected from him the first time you met.

For him it wasn’t easy to keep his cool, he had to school his face even if you weren’t looking at him and oh, his heart was so loud it was about to jump out of his chest and he wouldn’t mind but he didn’t want you to listen.

I’m sorry Baji.

A meow of protest fell on deaf ears since he had stopped caressing Leo and Blue, instead turning his full attention towards you.

You turned your head and suddenly you found yourself way too close to his face; so much you could’ve counted every single of his lashes; staring up at a pair of golden eyes that were looking at you and only you as if you had been the one to hang up the stars in the sky.

His features were delicate, so beautiful it was heartstopping, he looked almost otherworldly; and not only because the ghost of Baji’s face lingered in his in a particular way; but there was a certain glimmer in his eyes that you had been noticing from a few days leading to that one, only that then it shined brighter than ever.

Unbeknownst to you, your eyes were reflecting Kazutora’s shine and your heart was beating to the same tempo as his starting up a melody of their own with your breathing getting caught up in your lungs making up the rhythm accompanying your song.

You were being drawn into each other like opposite poles of a magnet, barely any resistance was there and soon enough you met in the middle. At first it was the softest brush; like when you first dip your toe before jumping into the water; but it started a whole revolution inside both.

The brush became a second and then your lips were pressing against each other, basking in the warmth that radiated off that single contact that sparked a bunch of reactions at the same time. Your heart went off, your lungs closed; forgetting for that moment that they needed air and not that man to keep kissing you; and for the briefest moment your mind stopped thinking about Baji.

Kazutora was ready to die, if he was sent to hell at that very moment he’d be glad because at least he got a taste of heaven and it was more than enough. He decided then and there that he was bound to be cursed because how did a monster like him manage to get a kiss from an angel such as yourself? It must have been a sin for something so tainted to even look your way.

He didn’t know when your hand placed itself on the side of his neck but he knew that he was yours, if there was any doubt of that up until that point, it vanished with the way you were gently caressing his tattoo as if you were tracing it by memory, as if you had paid close attention to him, as if he mattered, as if he was something more than a broken thing.

Something inside you moved when a whimper escaped his lips the first time you pulled away for a mere second in order to get air before going in once more, this time ready to open your mouth and let him take while you explored. It felt nice, new; which was to be expected since the last time you had kissed someone this way had been with Baji.

Keisuke.

You opened your eyes and suddenly pulled away, almost as if his touch burned you; and in a way it could be said to be true; and your violent movement startled the three cats that you had ignored moments before, making them leave for your room.

The image of your beloved; death; boyfriend took Kazutora’s place, brown replaced gold and the beauty mark vanished, the yellow strands that framed his face turned jet black and the smile you’d been missing like crazy; that particularly his that showed his teeth was there.

You blinked a few times and his image left, allowing you to see Kazutora for who he was and not the ghost of him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came to me” he looked at you with tears gathering in his eyes almost pleading and you realized how it must have looked to him.

“No, Tora, I-”

I’m an idiot, I blew this up. Again I’ve just gone and ruined what good I had.

“I’m going now” he stood up and left for the door, leaving you alone and cold on the couch.

I’m sorry Keisuke.

You stood up and went after, finding him in the doorway hastily putting on his shoes but you grasped his arm to stop him.

“I will leave right now, it’ll be like nothing happened” you caught a glimpse of a tear trailing down his cheek and that sight prompted you to speak.

“No” your other hand reached for the fabric of his shirt, securing him.

“Y/N”

“I don’t want you to leave, I-” the words choked you, there was too much you had to say and your mouth wasn’t responding as fast as you would’ve liked.

“Don’t ask me to stay because if you do it’ll only hurt more when you tell me it was a mistake”

“But it wasn’t a mistake, I want you, okay? Kazutora, I like you” you at least managed to say the one thing that was clear in your mind, that had been clear for a long time but only got accepted after that one conversation with Chifuyu.

That certainly stopped him, for he turned around to fully face you and you saw his eyes filled to the brim in tears that he refused to let run freely.

You reached for his face as slowly as the first time you two met, giving him enough space to retreat, but how could he when the thing he wanted most was to be with you and bask in the calm that your presence brought into his messy life? When he didn’t give any signs of pulling away you smiled and cupped his cheeks as if you were holding a piece of glass; and in a way Kazutora was just as fragile as that material when it came to you.

He leaned into your touch, and you were bold enough to pull him in and rest your foreheads together, looking with all seriousness into his eyes, having deja vu of the first day.

“Why? Why? I- what I did to Baji, you know what I’ve done, I don’t”

“I really can’t say, I just do, it’s, it’s hard, okay?” you closed your eyes for a brief second before continuing.

“I swore that there wouldn’t be anyone else and now, now you are here and I like being with you but I know that is way different from how it is with anyone else, it’s something more, something I never thought I’d be able to feel again”

He smiled through his tears because after all he’s done, every mistake in his life said that he didn’t deserve you and yet there you were.

“But I also have to be honest with you” he braced himself for what would be your next words.

“I still love Keisuke, I will probably still be loving him even fifty years from now and that is something that will never change, he was my first friend, first time holding hands, my first love, first kiss, many firsts, he took most of them” you gave out a wobbly smile.

“He’s forever imprinted in my skin and I’ll always be his” he lowered his gaze at that. “But if you can accept that I’m willing to try this, I never dated; not really, not an actual relationship; after him but I wouldn’t mind it being you, I think we deserve a chance”.

His heart was thumping inside his chest making it harder to process everything so you waited while his mind raced. Kazutora looked into your eyes and knew he had to take the chance because you were what he needed and even if he was undeserving you thought him worthy.

A selfish part of him, the bad side said that he should be glad because if Baji was there he knew you would have chosen him, a thousand times you’d have chosen Baji over Kazutora and that pained him but what pained him the most was the fact that a tiny part of him was happy because now he had the chance to be with you.

He was taking the life Baji should’ve had, but he’d take good care of you.

He could live being second best if that meant he got to have you.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo manji gang #tokyo revengers fanfiction #kazutora x reader #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora x you #kazutora x y/n #baji x reader #baji keisuke #fem reader #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #TR

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givemethatgold · 4 years

Text

Fix’er Upper Pt. 5

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of past abusive relationship, swearing, past drug use, alcohol

Word Count: 1.8k

Notes:

Parts ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR

Your injury, and consequential recovery time, couldn’t have come at a better time. The harvest was done and the apples had to rest before being pressed, which meant Frankie was now free to start working on your home. The work didn’t often require more than two hands so the days found you doing menial tasks being his gopher.

“You know,” Frankie had had to explain to you, “Go’fer this, go’fer that.”

This mainly consisted of you passing him tools while he was swearing under his breath in the attic, or groaning after rapping his knuckles under the sink, or white-faced and clinging to the weathervane on the roof.

You had discovered Frankie’s sweet tooth on the first day of renovations, not noticing until after he’d left for the day that more than half the cookies you’d baked that morning were already gone. Making sure he was kept happy, you had a new treat ready for when he walked in the door.

He was a coffee drinker though, and while you owned a coffee press you had never actually used it yourself, preferring tea leaves for your dose of caffeine. You’d tried, the first morning, to make a cup for him. You even googled How to Make a Cup of Coffee? to make sure you didn’t fuck it up.

You could laugh about it now, but the look on Frankie’s face after he’d taken his first sip made you worry you had poisoned him. He had spat the black sludge out and handed you back the mug with a look of bewildered disgust. Apparently, you needed to grind the beans first, who knew?

An efficient, if not quite comfortable, rhythm had been forged between the two of you over the past week and a half. Frankie would arrive at nine in the morning, scarf down half a dozen treats while discussing the day’s projects. You would run to town in his truck (yours was still at the autobody shop awaiting parts) and buy any supplies that would be needed while he set up the worksites and organized the tools that would be required.

You had added popping into the local café for a large coffee for Frankie and a red rooibos latte with almond milk for yourself. The first couple of days you had bought him a brownie too but stopped after he’d only half-finished the first one and mumbled through the crumbs in his mouth that yours were better. It only took you three days before the owner had your order ready for you before you even walked in the door, five days before you noticed the sidelong glances the little old ladies were giving each other as you walked out.

Small towns, you thought to yourself, rolling your eyes, had the unique benefit and downfall of everyone knowing everyone else’s business. They’d quit with the hardly-concealed smirks if they knew how awkward working with Frankie was becoming.

You had been sure, in the immediate aftermath of waking up in Frankie’s arms while his truck sat in your driveway, that he was never going to speak to you again. The two of you and hopped out and began explaining away whatever conclusions Jacquie and Mark had made. Then Frankie, without even looking in your general direction, told Jacquie to get you inside and have your wrist looked at.

To his credit, he had taken care of everything regarding your truck for you. The tow truck came and hauled it to the yard, Frankie had commandeered the inspection report and, after calling them out on trying to swindle you into buying unnecessary parts, had ordered what was needed and paid.

You had, naturally, argued against this but you both knew you weren’t in a position to afford it. Frankie shut down your arguments gracefully, and broke his apparent vow of silence, with a gruff “I’m just doing it so I can drive my damn truck without you changing the radio station.” The absolute charmer.

It was your damn house, though, so you decided you'd talk as much as you wanted and it would be up to him to interact. Either that or you had music blaring from the radio, never playing his favourite country station purely out of spite.

Never quite sure if he was listening or not, you rambled on about anything and everything. You explained your vision for the house and the plans you had for a greenhouse in the yard. Memories from your childhood were described in great detail, as were embarrassing stories from your year in college. Baking tips, waxing poetic about your love for sunflowers, interesting animal facts, you'd even downloaded a Word of the Day App and made a game of fitting the words into your daily uninterrupted monologues.

It took three days for Frankie to break.

You had been reminiscing about your trip to Disneyland as a child when he abruptly cut in, voice muffled due to the nails being held between his lips.

"You never talk about it."

You assumed he was referring to the little all-day nap you’d shared in his truck, as it had yet to be spoken of, but were taken aback by the slight accusatory tone.

"Talk about what?"

He took so long to reply, you started to think that he had interrupted purely to shut you up. The silence demanded an explanation though, so you kept your mouth shut and waited.

Clambering down from the attic, where he had been strengthening the trusses throughout the sagging section of roof, Frankie pinned you with his gaze and softly repeated himself.

"You never talk about it. The time in your life when you were married." He must have seen your hackles rise because he quickly set down the hammer and held his hands up in a placating wave.

"You still haven't answered my question about being in the army," was your quick response, finished with an ever-so-mature, "so there."

With a resigned sigh, Frankie twisted his hat around backward and scrubbed his hands across his face. "Come on" -waving you towards the patio doors- "these kinds of conversations require fresh air and a drink."

Reluctantly you followed him outside but rather than sinking down onto the porch swing you opted to lean against the post facing it. Opening two ciders, which you now had free access to, you handed one to Frankie and watched him over the top of the bottle.

Half of your drink was gone and your mind had wandered to greenhouse and flower garden placement before Frankie spoke again. His voice low and quiet catching you by surprise.

"Yeah," he broke the silence with another ragged sigh, "I, uh, I served. Started in the Air Force, worked my way up to Special Tactics Squadron. Made enough noise there to get recruited to Delta Force."

"Oh, fuck," your exclamation was soft with shock "you've seen some shit then." Blast your runaway mouth and its inability to wait for your brain to catch up before blurting out your inner thoughts. "I'm sorry!-"

"No, it's okay" Frankie interrupted, trying to reassure you and remove the horrified look that had come across your face.

"No, no, that was totally uncalled for. Brad, my um, my husband, he was a Marine. He hated talking about it, said no one liked talking about it. I should have known."

"It's not that," Frankie reassured you again, "You were the first person to ever ask me about it, in all the time I've lived here. Just took me by surprise."

Leaning over in the swing, Frankie pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and handed you a photo from inside it. Five men beamed up at you. You could recognize them from a few of the photos that had rested on Frankie's mantle, they looked older in this one.

"Tell me about them?" you asked, knowing that most of the request was due to curiosity but a small part of you hoped that if you kept him talking you could avoid the subject of your marriage.

The sun was beginning to set and you'd long moved inside to eat dinner by the time Frankie was done sharing. It must have been cathartic, you mused, for him to bare this much about himself. He had never looked more relaxed in all the time you'd known him, which wasn't saying much and it could just as easily been due to the amount of alcohol thrumming through his system.

The room fell into a companionable silence, each of you digesting the information that had been revealed. You were in awe of the fact that, despite the life of violence he had witnessed, Frankie still maintained his humanity. Even after a messy divorce and lost custody battle, Frankie continued to choose the path of healing. He was clean, was fighting for shared custody of his daughter again, running his own business, and still had found time to endear himself into the town's hearts.

Frankie was, for all his sharp edges and gruff words, a sweetheart.

It put into stark comparison how Brad had reacted to the lemons life had served him. Born into an upper-middle-class home, the only son, doted on by his parents, Brad had been raised into a life where every door was open to him. Despite this, or maybe because of it, he had grown hateful of those weaker than him. He was controlling but had just the right amount of charm to pass it off as caring.

"I've met men like that,"

You nearly jumped out of your skin from surprise. Looking at Frankie with wide-eyed shock you wondered again what the hell was in the cider. This was the second time you'd poured your heart out to a virtual stranger, but this time you hadn't even realized you'd started speaking your thoughts aloud.

Squaring your shoulders and holding Frankie's gaze you continued, almost challenging him to find someone worse than Brad had been.

"He made me quit college because he said he wanted to start a family. Then berated me and acted like it was all my fault every time the pregnancy test came back negative. You know what that asshole did?" Tears were threatening to fall but you held on to Frankie's gaze, "He had gotten a vasectomy months earlier. I didn't find out about it until after he died; going through paperwork that had been stored in his desk."

Frankie was up on his feet now, pacing around the kitchen island, too distraught to keep still. How could anyone be so cruel? Let alone be so cruel to someone as sweet and pure as you. He hated seeing you cry but knowing you weren't receptive to people being in your personal space, wasn't sure how to comfort you.

Acting on pure instinct he grabbed the kettle and started preparing you some tea, not allowing himself to ruminate how he knew which flavour you preferred. Setting your favourite pottery mug in front of you, along with the little honey pot, he also decided to grab the fluffy throw blanket off your couch.

"I get it now," he thought to himself offhandedly, "why women have so many fuckin' blankets and pillows in every room."

Placing the throw around your shoulders he was preparing to say goodnight and let you have some peace but was stilled by your hand reaching up and covering his.

"Please. Stay."

Part SIX

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#Fix'er Upper #Frankie Morales x you #Frankie Morales x F!reader #Frankie Catfish Morales x you #Frankie Catfish Morales x reader #Frankie x reader #Frankie x you #Catfish x reader #Catfish x you #Triple Frontier fanfiction #Frankie Morales Fanfiction

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a-monsters-love · 4 years

Note

Hi! Can please request some spicy headcanons for Tamaki, Hawks and Shoto losing their virginity with a fem reader ? Thank you!

Oh man yES, ahh I love these boys, I will do my best for the ✨spice✨

[Master List]

Amajiki Tamaki (Sun Eater):

boi that anxiety

Realistically it would take a long term relationship to get to second or even third base

He understands sexual desire but god if it only makes him feel more anxious

You need to become his wall

Literally

Instead of him putting his head into a wall he will start putting his head against your head or shoulder or back (idk how tall you are)

He LOVES your body

Claims you’re soft in all the right places

Loves the way you feel pressed into his embrace not that he could ever admit that

With that in mind

It would start with just embracing him

You’d offer your lap and play with his hair

He feels safe in your embrace

The two of you are cuddling

You’re both facing each other

You’ve pulled him into your bust like it’s a pillow and start playing with his hair with your arms wrapped around each other

And then it happens

Your breath hits his ear

You move slightly to adjust

It happens

You feel his grip tighten around you, forcing you to stop moving

“Maki? Are you okay?”

He’s hidden his face and you can feel the heat radiating from his blush

“I, uh, well… I d-don’t know…”

You’re obviously confused

Then you feel it

“We can stop if-“

He cut you off with a sudden burst in confidence and has you on your back while hovering over you

“I-I don’t want to…” His eyes slowly glance over you

Your shirt is loosely pulled down your shoulder exposing your collar bone and the top of your breasts and racked up your stomach slightly exposing your skin

His face was beat red

Yours was heated

You reach up for his face and pull him in for a kiss

When you start touching him something snaps

He’s almost feral with need for you

He has no idea what he’s doing

You have to tell him what to do

If it’s your first time too you MUST tell him when you like things

Greedy for how you taste

He’s needy

Praise kink

JeSUS THE PRAISE KINK

You must tell him that he feels good or what he’s doing is great etc

Will eat you out like you’re his last meal before death

*Ahem.*

Will 100% ask you what you need during/after

He will not know how to look at you afterwards but will cuddle tf out of you

Takami Keigo (Hawks):

So, on a real note

He probably didn’t lose his V card until after he got his own agency

He was raised and monitored by the HPSC since he was 6, I highly doubt they gave him the time

As much as we all agree he has a rut I doubt having one would make a difference in him popping his cherry

He got his agency at 18 and rose the ranks to being a top ten hero by age 20

So I high key doubt he had time to relax and take care of his sexual needs until about 20

The boi also doesn’t actually have friends

He wasn’t raised to make friends, only connections

Realistically you were probably a sidekick at his agency

You found him attractive sure but knew he never gave himself ‘personal time’

You made it your mission to give him the break you knew he deserved

You’d finish all his paperwork that didn’t need his signature

You’d manage to help make sure all the documents he’d have to submit daily would be quick and easy to go through

You’d kick him out of the office to make sure he went and got lunch

You bring/order him lunch when he refused

You kick him out to go home early when he could afford to

At first he didn’t notice

After a week he was confused

After a month he’d start to understand

He’d take time to thank you and make sure you were doing well with all the extra work you decided to take on

The first time he complimented you and your work you blushed a shade he didn’t even know you could get

It was over for you

He made it his goal to see that again

It started with flirty comments

Then he took you on a date

He researched everything he could on dating and what is ‘required’

He was aware of sexual intimacies

He had a sex-Ed class with the HPSC

What he wasn’t prepared for was having to use that education on someone he cared for (not that he’s ever used it before)

He watched you work at the office one day after doing his research like a predator would watch a prey it’s been stalking

Without realizing it he started fantasizing about how your thighs would feel in his hands

How your bust would taste

He wondered what you’d look like under him

He was curious to know what you’d sound like crying out his name

“-wks? Hawks?” Your voice calling him snapped him out of his perverted fantasy

His face blushed brightly as you stared at him with an eyebrow raised

“Can you come look at this for me?” You pointed to your computer

He nods and goes to stand up but quickly sits back down with his legs crossed “N-No I can’t, can you send it to me?” He give a nervous TV approved smile

Did he just stutter?

You give him a once over and he refused to make eye contact with you

You smirk when you see his ‘problem’

“I guess I can just take it home tonight” you shrugged nonchalantly and give him the side eye, “You’re welcome to come help if you’d like.” You crossed your arms under your bust making it more eye catching

He just nodded furiously

Never had he ever finished paperwork so fast

He nearly crashed into your patio’s sliding glass door like a concussed bird as he arrived

When you let him in he smothered your face with kisses as he kicks off his shoes and sheds his jacket and goggles

They were messy and needy

His usually accurate hands fumbled with the fabric of your clothing

You walk backwards and usher him to your room

You only pull away from the sloppy make out session when you fall back on your bed and pant for air

What he’s actually doing doesn’t hit him until he sees you under him

Clothes disheveled, skin and bra exposed, blushing and panting from his attention

A nervous blush set in on his face

You cupped his cheek, “Is this your-“

He nods before you can finish the question

What a cute baby

You didn’t press him any further but helped him with the clothing removal

You told him you can stop at anytime

He refused every time

The whines this boi makes when you first touch him

He’s a quick learner

You make suggestions and he quickly finds out how to please you

Before you’re even close to finishing you’re nearly certain that he wasn’t a virgin

Nearly

He seems to get harder when you praise him

He has the stamina of a god

He makes sure to memorize everything about your body

Memorizes what makes you cry and melt in his grasp

Stays inside you when you both finish

Buried his face into your bare breasts afterwards

Makes happy noises as he dozed off to you combing your fingers through his hair

Happy birb

Todoroki Shoto:

oh man

This fuckin’ guy

Realistically never cared for the topic

Not that he doesn’t feel the urge but just thinks nothing of it

He probably never realized he even liked you until someone pointed it out

Similar to Hawks he never really got the opportunity to think of such matters

Also same as Hawks would research the shit out of the topic

Boi didn’t know the word for ‘concert’ you really think he’d know shit about dating at first?

*ahem*

He’d take you on dates

He’d realize quickly how much he likes touching you

Touch starved babe

He’d go out of his way to touch you after he noticed how much he likes it

He’d initiate holding hands

He’d hug you randomly

Lay his head on yours or your shoulder or lap

One day he’d hug you from behind as you were doing something in your room

He’d wrap his arms around you under your bust

You’d smile and look up at him

You’d adjust yourself to holding his arms but you’d rub against him just right

Then it happens

The shock of the situation would cause him to freeze

You can feel his temperature control go haywire

“Sho?” You’d ask quietly

Then you’d feel it

To be fair it would be low key stabbing you

N E WAYS

You’d blush loudly

He’d blush and bury his face into the crook of your neck

You’d make a soft noise in surprise

He’d only get harder and more embarrassed because of said noise

You’d ask if he wants to do anything about it

“What?” He asks

I swear this boy doesn’t understand real life you can’t change my mind

You’d whisper what you meant

His grip on you would get tighter

He’d agree

He had a basic understand of how it works

You’d sit him on your bed and you’d sit on his lap

The two of you would make out and remove articles of clothing

The best at unhooking a bra clasp out of the three

Calm externally

Internally freaking out

You can tell by the crazy fluctuation in his temperature

“We don’t have to if you’re not ready” you’d say pressing your forehead to his

He smiles softly and kisses your collarbone

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready but I want this”

You blush loudly at the comment

He moves you so that he’s hovering over you

You pull him into you and run your hands down his muscular frame

He’s surprised at how easily he melts in your touch

Like Hawks he’s a quick learner

Makes a point to ask if you like how things feel

Could get off on just making you feel good

Uses his quirk unintentionally to make you feel good

Leaves marks all over you without meaning to

Low key wants to mark his territory subconsciously

Kisses all the marks he’s left in the end

Does everything for aftercare without being asked

Pulls you into his chest and smiles into your hair

Snuggle bug

606 notes · View notes

coldmilkcreamery · 4 years

Text

Luminescent Moonlight

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: nct dream x male reader 🥀🌹

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 1862

𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: y/n sneaks out of the dorms every friday night. the dreamies notice and follow him only to find out that…

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝘀: degradation; swearing

𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆 🌙

𝗮/𝗻: uhh... idk how to feel about this? at first i was proud of it but now reading it i'm like... meh but enjoy ig ^^ this marks the last day of our launch week, which means we won't be posting daily anymore :(( we have 2 requests and we're working on them, if you have any feel free to drop it at the ask box !! good night <33

> 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 <

Both hands on the clock point at 12 again, signaling Y/N’s departure from the NCT dorms. As their newest and youngest member, Y/N was thought of as the sweetest, purest, and on top of all, most respectable member of NCT. He graduated Neo High with honors, was friendly on campus and auditioned for SM only once, unlike the sea of trainees who had to audition for more than three times. Because of this, he was viewed as this innocent prince once SM told the boys that he would be joining NCT. But, just like any cliché scenario, none of them knew of what Y/N did in the dead of night, when the moonlight shone on the city and no one knew him, not even by his silhouette.

✦ 𝙨𝙞𝙭 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 ✦

“Has anyone noticed Y/N during the weekends recently? He usually isn't sleeping on his bed when he’s supposed to be.” Shotaro asks, genuinely worried about him.

“He probably just goes to the comfort room and stays in there for the whole night or something, no biggie.” Jeno says sarcastically, shoving a mouthful of popcorn into his mouth as he blabs his mouth.

“Hm,” Jisung mumbles, skeptical of Y/N’s actions, “there is definitely something up with him.” Jisung wasn’t one to get jealous often but with the addition of Y/N into NCT, the beloved, innocent, has-never-committed-a-sin Y/N, the attention wasn’t on him anymore. He was a tad bit jealous, but he would never admit that out loud.

“So what do you wanna do about it then?” Jeno replies, still staring straight at the television playing Titanic, “Confront him about it? It’s not like he’s gonna budge. What are you gonna do then, force him to tell you? Huh?”

“Quit being an asshole Jen.” Jaemin slaps Jeno sitting beside him, a frown on his face.

“How about we just, you know, pretend to sleep and wait till he gets up and leaves, then follow him?” Sungchan suggests, equally as worried as Shotaro. Both the former and the latter know how hard it is to be new members of a group that has already debuted. So, they felt the need to let Y/N know that he didn’t have to keep leaving the dorms, for an escape or whatever.

“Then it’s decided,” Jeno speaks up, finally peeling his eyes off the television, “tonight, we find out what the fuck Y/N has been doing for the past 6 weeks.”

✦ 𝙨𝙞𝙭 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 ✦

Y/N rises up from his bed, making extra effort not to make a noise. He grabs the hickory duffle bag from under his bed and unzips it to check if he’s had everything for his night out ready. He zips it back just seconds after and drapes it over his shoulder, getting ready to leave. He pulls his hoodie up and ties his black converses before opening the wooden door and leaving the Dream Dorms, oblivious to the boys’ plans.

Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, Sungchan, Shotaro and Jisung are led from the warmth of their dorms into the cold autumn night as they follow the figure wearing a black hoodie in front of them. The 8 boys walk for what seems like hours, crossing street to street, going through alley to alley, main road to main road as they do nothing but stay in silence and tail the (H/C) boy in front of them. They don’t know how many neon signs they’ve passed by now, only noticing how red ones become more and more evident as they venture deeper into the city.

“I think we’re in the red light district.” Haechan blurts, being met with shushes from the 7 other boys he was with. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Y/N of course, who pauses and turns around, only to look at a dark, empty street behind him. Y/N furrows his brows, confused, as he resumes his amble towards his destination.

Hiding behind garbage bins, the 8 boys sit in disgust as they hide from Y/N, scared of being caught halfway through their stalking session. Haechan peeks his head out and speaks up once again, but this time quietly, “The coast is clear.” All 8 stand up synchronized, noses scrunched as they glare at Haechan.

“No shit sherlock,” Chenle whisper-shouts, hues of scarlet and crimson decorating his face, “it’s red everywhere! Of course we’re in the red light district!”

The others giggle as they stare at Chenle.

“No, you dumbass,” Haechan replies calmly, “a red light district is like a place full of clubs and.. you know…” He trails off as the other seven’s brows furrow.

“Let’s not jump into conclusions,” Sungchan cuts him off, remaining positive, “let’s just keep following him.”

They sneak behind Y/N once again, trying their best not to get caught. It was only a minute or two before they saw Y/N turn a corner. The 8 slowly creeped up on the opening of the alley, just in time to see Y/N enter a building with an indigo sign, which stood out in the sea of bright, neon red signs.

“You don’t think… he’s a…” Jaemin spoke up as all of them shared a glance. The eight of them stood in silence, too scared to speak up, under the illusion that Y/N may be a male stripper. That wouldn’t be a problem but he was… 17.

“Only one way to find out.”

♪♪♪♪...

The deafening music boomed from the speakers, resonating into the indigo aesthetic of the club. Contrary to the word, this side of the club was the opposite of aesthetic: sweaty bodies stuck together, giving the 8 boys an unsettling feeling. They had almost started contemplating on leaving the said club, but not before Jaemin spots a quiet section, free of the sweaty bodies grinding against each other. It wasn’t free of people, per se, as there were a few people making out here and there, but it definitely wasn’t as congested as the indigo dance floor they had previously stood on. They saw vacant seats at the bar and, just like anyone who had been walking and hiding for 30 minutes, took a seat. All 8 of them had their backs turned away from the bar as a familiar voice spoke up.

“What can I get for you?” Y/N asks, a smile forced on his face. Y/N’s blue velvet suit shimmers under the spinning disco ball, exhibiting various accents of blue. Azure, cobalt and lapis and sapphire compliment Y/N’s face as he looks down, glass in one hand and towel on the other, wiping. He’s wearing nothing but a blue velvet blazer as a top, chest out as if he was as the beach. The boys turn around, mouths agape and unable to speak. They lock eyes with Y/N when the latter looks up due to the long, uncomfortable silence, eyes wide open, his body frozen in shock.

Attempting to cover his exposed chest, Y/N drops the glass and immediately places his hands flat on his chest, the feeling of fear, embarrassment and surprise devouring him.

“Y/N what the fuck?” Jeno blows up, completely losing his self control, “What the fuck are you doing in this… this.. strip club? You’re sev-”

Y/N unsticks his palms from his chest and re-sticks it onto Jeno’s mouth, shushing the older. “Shhh. let’s…” he pans his eyes from left to right, staring into his hyung’s disappointed faces, “let’s talk outside. Wait for me.”

The boys head towards the exit as they pass by the cramped dance floor once again, the silver disco ball spinning endlessly above them. They exit the club, the chilly breeze of the autumn night slapping them on the face once again as they step out. They wait in silence, leaning on the wall, occasionally staring at the indigo sign above them. Just as Chenle was about to break the silence, the cushioned doors of the club open slowly, revealing a boy in a more decent outfit. Y/N steps out, head burning holes into the stone floor. As soon as the doors of the club seal shut, all 8 of them went into chaos.

“What the fuck?”

“Is this what you’ve been doing for the past 6 weeks?”

“What are you doing with your life?”

“I can’t believe you’re actually a fucking stripper. What made SM recruit a stripper?”

He let himself get scolded but got caught off guard when Jisung uttered those words. “Wait, stripper?” Y/N looks up from the now-molten floor, eyebrows furrowed, tears pricking the corner of his eyes, “I— how could you even call me that?”

“Don’t act like you didn't have your chest on display before we got there.” Jisung replies, disgust written on his face, “Is this really what you've been doing for the past month and a half? Whoring yourself out? I guess you love people’s attention on your body don’t you?”

The gates of the dam that had held his tears finally gave out, spilling endlessly as Y/N tried to find his words, “I— that’s just the uniform for us bartenders… I work in a club so… we’re required to—”

“Exactly Y/N!” Jaemin shouts, “You’re 17 for fucks sake, why the fuck are you working at a bar? You’re a fucking idol! You're going to be publicly announced as a new member next month! What if people start recognizing you, huh? Then what?”

“I-I’m sorry hyungs. I—” tears gushed from Y/N’s orbs, coating his face, “I just did this for money.” Disgusted looks turned to looks of confusion as the 8 boys stared at Y/N, puzzled.

“M-my mom is in the hospital, she’s dealing with stage iii breast cancer and,” Y/N says, shaking, unable to complete a sentence without stopping, “and my family couldn’t afford the hospital bills, and the company wasn’t paying me yet– and I– I couldn’t wait any longer so when I saw a poster one day, looking for a bartender, I applied and lied about my age. Hyungs I’m really sorry, I- I didn’t do it because- because I liked putting my body on display. To be honest I was really uncomfortable but– but I would do anything for my mom and—”

Y/N pauses as he feels a warmth envelope him, curing his heart’s hypothermia. “We’re sorry. You know we can always lend you a hand, right?” Jaemin says, regretting his thoughts. Renjun adds to the two boys hugging, then Shotaro, then Chenle, and soon enough, all 9 of them are one; all hugging it out in a giant fluff ball, in the aged alleyway under the moonlight.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung states, voice softer as ever, “for calling you that. And, I know your mom is strong, she’ll get through this.”

Y/N felt warmer, and suddenly, under the moonlight, all his worries and doubts vanished. Nothing was more calming than a hug from the 8 boys he loved the most. They stayed like that for as long as Y/N needed, the moonlight’s luminescence lingering in the air.

End.

𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙙: 01.11.21

𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙: 01.12.21

#nct dream x male reader #nct dream male reader #nct x male reader #nct male reader #renjun x male reader #jeno x male reader #haechan x male reader #jaemin x male reader #chenle x male reader #sungchan x male reader #shotaro x male reader #jisung x male reader #nct angst #nct dream angst #kpop male reader #kpop x male reader #sorry for all the tags our recent posts have been flopping :((#nct x reader

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capitainelevi · 3 years

Note

Drabble Challenge:

4 (Levi) or 128 (Petra)

Thank you for your ask!! ❤️❤️ I combined them, I hope it`s alright!

Drabble challenge: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece.

"Don’t touch me. We’re fighting." and “Who gave you that black eye?”

For you

Underground boxer Levi

Word count: 1636

“Levi, you can`t keep this away from Petra much longer.”

Levi hissed when the disinfectant Isabel applied made contact with his wounds. He knew this time there was no keeping the secret from his wife, not in the miserable shape the fight brought him into. A black eye. A split lip. Two bruised ribs. He had gotten cocky and underestimated his opponent, contrary to Farlan`s warnings. His opponent was no match for Levi in the end, none of them were, but this fight had been his most difficult ever since he started down this path. Levi hoped Petra would forgive him for his actions, which all had a noble purpose.

Farlan looked at his oldest friend with hurt in his eyes. The guilt for helping Levi was starting to make its way into his heart, along with doubt- “Is it for the glory?”

Farlan`s distrust in his motives was the hardest hit Levi took that evening, and one look at Isabel`s face felt like a knife to his heart- “Tsk. Don`t be an idiot.”

Every punch Levi threw was for his daughter and wife. For his friends. For a chance for them to escape the hellhole that life condemned them to. He took no pleasure in the glory that came with it. The crowds screaming his name over and over again for every fight left him cold. Every time his fist made contact with someone`s skin, the only thing on Levi`s mind was the image of his wife, more dead than alive, looking to sell her body to any man willing to give her a piece of bread. The memory still haunted Levi`s sleep all those years later.

Petra`s father contracted the flu during one of the outbreaks, and she spent all of their money to try to get him medical care, but it was all in vain. After he passed away, Petra was left all alone, with no prospect for a decent future. The hunger drove her to the streets, and the first person she approached was a gruff-looking man. One glance at her and the image of his mother flashed in his mind, a woman too kind for the world she was born into. Levi did not have any second thoughts about what he needed to do. He took his coat off and wrapped it around her trembling body before he took her to the modest house he shared with Isabel and Farlan. He got her washed and fed and assured her that no one would hurt her while he was alive. Levi offered her the safest position in their gang and a place in their home, secretly happy that her cleaning skills matched his.

As the years passed, Levi could feel himself caring more and more for her every day. It took Farlan`s intervention of him calling Levi a “blind bastard” for not noticing his feelings were not one-sided for him to finally get the courage to ask Petra out on an official date. Six months later, they were married in a small ceremony, and two years after that, their family grew. The day Petra found out she was pregnant, they decided their child deserved a modest life, but with both of their parents in it. That day, they both promised they would stay away from the illegal activities they used to be involved in. But in reality, it was more difficult than either of them had anticipated, and the moment when he and Petra went to bed hungry every night, Levi made up his mind. Getting into illegal fights and making his way to the top in a matter of months was easy for Levi, who still lived by the teachings his uncle gave him. He wondered if Kenny was still alive and if he ever came to watch him fight.

“You think I enjoy any of this? Fighting in this shithole instead of putting my daughter to sleep?”

Farlan felt guilty, seeing the hurt on Levi`s face, but he had to be sure. He was tired of seeing Levi beaten up, of having to lie to Petra`s face daily, and he knew Levi must have felt even more consumed by the pain.

“I`m sorry, Levi. I…”

Farlan`s apology got interrupted as Levi got up and made his way out the door without looking back at his friends. He just wanted to go home and hold his daughter and wife in his arms, but based on the shape he was going home in, he knew that was the last thing he was going to do that night. Levi made his way back home with his head down as looking at the hungry women and children out on the streets made his stomach churn, knowing he could do nothing to help them.

When he got in the house, Levi was glad his wife`s back was turned to the door, and he had a few seconds more before seeing the hurt and disappointment on her face. Petra heard him come in, but her frustration with their living conditions took up all her attention.

“Levi, the sink broke down for the hundredth time this week.”

Petra sighed, wishing they had the money to get a new one, but with the way it was going, they were barely affording to put food on the table for the three of them. Her life with Levi was better than anything she would have imagined when she found herself thrown on the streets, but sometimes, Petra found herself dreaming of a small house above the ground. Her daughter would play in the sun every day while she and her husband watched from the porch. They would have a small garden and dinner outside every evening.

Levi didn`t respond to her and sat down at the kitchen table. He closed his eyes, waiting for Petra`s reaction, and it came a few seconds later. He heard glass shatter as Petra dropped the glass she was in the middle of washing at the sight of her husband all beaten up.

Petra barely whispered- “Who gave you that black eye?”

Levi finally opened his eyes, and his heart broke at the hurt painted on his wife`s face. He hated lying to her, but he knew Petra would never agree with him putting himself in danger over and over again, even if it was for the sake of their family. He opened his mouth to lie to her again when Petra interrupted him.

“Levi, if you dare say you got into another street fight on the way back home…”

Levi sighed and put his head down in shame. He loved her too much to put her through this every time, but he knew the truth would hurt her more.

“But it`s the truth.”

Levi was surprised when his wife lost control and raised his voice at him. Petra was the kindest, most calm woman he had ever met, even in the shitty world they lived in.

“I`m not stupid, Levi! Stop lying to me!”

He got up from the table, feeling the urge to wrap his arms around her, to let her know through his kisses every thought he could not express through words.

I love you.

I`m doing this for our family.

Our daughter deserves to grow up in the sunlight.

Levi couldn`t help feeling hurt when his wife pushed him away from her- “Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”

Levi turned away from her, too afraid to look at the hurt in her eyes- “I`m so tired, Petra.”

His guilt got worse when he heard his wife`s soft cry from behind her- “You promised me we were done with that life, Levi.”

When Levi didn`t have anything to say to her, Petra crumbled down on the floor. She loved her husband more than anything, and while their life was hard, she couldn`t help but feel selfish. She didn`t want to be a widow, and she didn`t want her daughter to grow up fatherless.

“Our daughter deserves to know her father.”

Levi broke down, unable to keep his pain to himself anymore- “Our daughter deserves the world! Do you know how hard it is to see you so frail?”

Levi pulled the tank of money out of his coat and threw it on the table- “Do you think I could get this by sweeping floors in a bar? Fight by fight, and I`m closer to our dream, Petra. With every jaw, I break I`m closer to taking you and Lizzie up to see the sun and not through a shitty hole in the ceiling!”

Petra just cried harder, and she finally let her husband pick her up in his arms. She knew how much Levi loved them, but she didn`t want him to throw his life away in an attempt to make theirs better. Levi kissed her, putting all his love into it, and she embraced it. Petra put her head on his shoulder and whispered in his ear- “I just hate seeing you like this, Levi. I hate seeing you get hurt.”

Levi wrapped his arms tighter around her, hoping his wife and daughter could have the quiet life they deserved. But he was willing to fight to offer it to them- “I know, love. It will all be okay.” He kissed her lips over and over again until he felt Petra calmed down in his arms.

“Do you want to go hold Lizzie?”

Levi nodded and followed his wife into the small room his daughter was sleeping peacefully in, unaware of their parents` struggles. Levi picked up his daughter into his arms and kissed the top of her head, and she hummed and wrapped her arms around his neck. Levi fell asleep looking into his wife`s beautiful amber eyes, with the thought of finally admiring them under the blue sky one day.

#rivetra #petra ral #rivetra fanfic #rivetra fanfiction #rivetra drabble #my writing

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sarahwroteathing · 4 years

Text

English 284 (4)

Word Count: 3612

Summary: You and Steve break off from the group to get to know each other better and clear the air.

Warnings: Language and innuendo (romance novels)

A/N: Woo! I did it! I’m going to do my best to post something at least every 2 weeks. I miss writing, and I miss you guys! I’ve got new daily hobby goals for myself, so hopefully that’ll help me get back into the swing of things. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Steve’s Perspective

Catch up here!

In the end, extricating yourself from the group was relatively painless. Steve waited by the door while you returned to the table, passing the glass of water to a grateful Sam and retrieving your coat and bag.

“Bailing on your own party?” Tony questioned as you shrugged into your coat.

“While I’m sure you’ll all miss my dazzling personality, I’m starting to get a headache, and it’s a bit too loud in here. Steve offered to walk me home.”

Sam choked on his water, but you kept your eyes on Tony as he studied you with a small frown.

“Alright, kiddo. Feel better. Text me when you’re home safe?”

“Kiddo,” you repeated with a snort, ruffling his hair as you turned to leave.

Steve was tapping idly at his phone when you joined him at the exit. He flashed you a hesitant smile, shoving his phone back into his pocket as he pushed the door open and followed you outside.

The temperature had definitely dropped since you arrived earlier that evening, and you snuggled deeper into your jacket before turning expectant eyes on Steve.

“So, where are we headed?”

“Not a fan of surprises?”

The words were playful, but the tone was unmistakably nervous. Your stomach flipped, an unfortunate decision made for you by the tension lingering in broad shoulders and the hesitancy in a smile that should have glowed.

“I’ll allow it,” you said carefully. “On one condition. Can we get an uncomfortable conversation out of the way while we walk? So we can enjoy the rest of our night?”

“Rip it off like a bandaid, huh?” he asked, and though his face was slightly scrunched, he didn’t seem inclined to fight you on it.

“Pretty soon we’ll be expected to maintain good professional and personal standing with each other for a full five months,” you reminded him. “Honest and direct seems like the necessary way to go here.”

“You’re right,” Steve said quietly, clearing his throat and scuffing his shoe against the sidewalk. “Walking and talking it is. You want to start?”

He gestured to the right, and you fell into step beside him, taking a moment to organize your thoughts and hoping you’d have enough time to get past the cringiest bits before reaching your mystery destination.

“Okay, well,” you pulled in a deep breath. “I’ll start by saying that even with my limited exposure, you seem like a really amazing - Are you cringing already?” you broke off with a laugh.

Steve’s features were in fact twisted into a definitive wince, but he had the decency to look apologetic about it.

“Sorry! It just sounds like a polite rejection, and I’m not even sure what you’re rejecting.”

“Yeah, alright, I hear it. Let me try again,” you said with a self-deprecating smile.

You took a moment to reorganize your thoughts.

“We haven’t spent much time together so far, but what time we’ve had has been split between a… A sweet and fun Steve and someone more... tensed up. And after seeing you in there when Bucky was talking about the contract, I just feel like it might be something we need to talk about.”

You peeked over at him, butterflies beginning to flutter to life in your stomach as you watched him bite nervously at his lip.

“I mean, I know that story sucked, but it seems like there’s maybe more going on with you,” you ventured hesitantly.

“Okay, let me...” Steve rubbed at the back of his neck, releasing a sigh and looking for all the world like he was considering throwing himself through a storefront window to avoid this conversation.

“I- I don’t really do… romance. And relationships,” Steve forced out, immediately looking thoroughly disgusted with himself in a way that made you want to laugh.

You locked it down, fighting to keep a neutral expression. Laughing now could easily be misconstrued as mocking and make him less inclined to open up to you. That wasn’t something you wanted to risk.

“That’s not - I don’t do the casual thing either. I don’t do anything in that… arena,” he corrected.

His exasperation was unspeakably cute. Punk.

He glanced uncertainly in your direction, and you gave a nod of encouragement.

“Right… Um. Well, I’ve always had my reasons I guess, but by this point it’s just not really something I think about. Not in a way that applies to me, anyway. But then Bruce was texting me about helping out his friend in the English Department, and Bucky was instantly convinced that we’d… Well, you know. And he and Sam have just been… sprinting with it ever since.” Steve heaved a sigh, reaching up to fidget with his hair. “It’s kind of got me mixed up, I guess. I know it’s stupid, but -”

“It’s not stupid,” you interrupted.

Steve’s lips curled into an unconvinced frown, and you reached for his sleeve, guiding him to a stop.

“It’s not stupid,” you repeated. “You trust them, and you know they care about you. If they talk something up enough, of course you’re going to consider it. It would be weird if you didn’t.”

“Well, I’m not exactly known for being easy to convince. So if it’s not stupid, it’s definitely troubling.”

My god, was that the beginnings of a pout you were seeing?

You giggled, reaching for his arm again to set you both back on course. He fell into step beside you again, leveling a thoroughly unimpressed look at his shoes.

“Maybe you wanted to be convinced this time,” you tried.

“Oh, yeah. Developing a crush on someone you’re not allowed to date and constantly being reminded of the horrifying precedent does sound like a good time,” Steve mumbled.

This time your stop was involuntary, a function of stumbling over your own feet in embarrassing surprise. Steve caught your hand, his other resting momentarily at your waist to stabilize you before falling away just as quickly.

“Sorry,” he said, but you were still clutching his hand, heart racing from your near fall, face growing warm under his gaze.

“You don’t have to apologize, “ you said breathlessly. “I just - So, they did convince you then?”

He cleared his throat, and you let each other go, shuffling to the side for a moment to make room for a tipsy group passing in the opposite direction. You reclaimed the sidewalk once they were behind you, taking a breath and already deeply regretting your question as you traveled several steps in silence. Who just asked people if they had a crush on them. Tony, probably, but certainly not you.

“They introduced the idea,” Steve corrected quietly, still looking straight ahead of him when you chanced a peek in his direction. “But you’re the one who convinced me.”

Your heart gave a hop, skip, and a jump in your chest, and it was your turn to bite your lip anxiously. Nobody this cute was allowed to have a crush on you. Illegal, dammit.

And once you got around to signing that contract, it almost would be.

“Well, my condolences,” you struggled out. “But you started it.”

You forced yourself to meet Steve’s eyes when he glanced over at you in surprise.

“Did I?”

“Shut up,” you laughed, knocking your shoulder into him. “You know you’re cute.”

“I… Well, maybe a little.”

You shook your head, smiling at the tiny, pleased grin on his face and walking another few paces in silence.

“Right. So air cleared, yeah?” you asked. “We’ve established your feelings aren’t stupid. They’re… y’know. Matched. But romance is off the table, so you don’t have to worry about that. Can we be friends now? No more cold, tense Steve?”

You reached your hand into the space between you, reveling in the gentle smile the gesture earned you as Steve gave it a definitive shake.

“We can be friends.”

---------------

Several minutes later, Steve reached across you, pulling open a shop door and gesturing inside with a gallant sweep of his arm. The sign read Insomniac Booksellers, punctuated with a charming owl logo.

You hurried in with a delighted smile.

“Oh, you are so going to regret this decision. Did you really just bring an English professor to a bookstore?”

“You said Alex ruined your favorite one, so I thought I’d offer a replacement. This place is open 5 pm to 7 am. It’s usually pretty quiet. And the little cafe in the back is almost suspiciously good,” he said, lowering his voice to avoid disrupting the peaceful atmosphere.

The wood floors creaked quietly beneath your feet as you stepped further into the store. Dark wood shelves dominated the space, lining the walls and nearly reaching the ceiling, a scant two feet of the deep green painted walls exposed above them. To your left, a large desk took the place of a checkout counter, an employee reclining in a puffy leather chair behind it, her feet propped on the edge as she read a battered sci-fi novel. She looked up long enough to offer a welcoming smile and wave before returning to her book.

More shelves stood in sets of three in the center of the store, narrow aisles between each affording you glimpses of small sitting areas tucked among the stacks, clusters of plush mismatched chairs positioned around coffee tables and charging stations. The wider center aisle led straight back to a small coffee counter, where another employee spun absently on a stool while writing in a notebook.

“Steve,” you said with a smile. “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

“Up to your standards, then?” he asked, holding his hands up in surrender when you shot him an incredulous look. “Just checking.”

He trailed after you as you did a quick circuit, familiarizing yourself with the way the shelves were organized before heading with purposeful strides to the shelves that housed plays. You ran your finger across the spines until you found what you needed and plucked it off the shelf to offer to Steve.

No Fear Shakespeare: Hamlet.

“Wow, no faith in me, huh?” he asked with a grin.

“I know you’re capable of picking up the language, but until then, it’s important you can check what’s going on when you get confused. Or encounter a page-long sentence,” you explained, fighting back the urge to roll your eyes at his knowing smile. “Obviously try the original language side first, but I’ve got no problem with you checking the modern translation when you need to. I’m not an asshole.”

“Alright,” Steve agreed, tucking the book under his arm and reaching for his phone. “I actually need to get the rest of the books on the list too if you want to point out your favorite editions. I know that matters to people like you.”

“People like me?” you repeated, pressing your hand to your chest as if deeply offended.

Steve rolled his eyes and handed you his phone, the screen displaying a note page listing the books from your syllabus.

“You’re not the only English professor I’ve met, you know.”

“Would my predecessor happen to be Sue of the infamous lemon bars?” You moved efficiently through the store, snagging the books from the list and adding them to a growing stack in Steve’s arms.

“Maybe.”

“Her shortbread is divine too. If she ever offers you any, take it and treasure it,” you advised.

As you placed the last book on the stack, you gave it a final little pat.

“Right. These are on me.”

“Uh, no. I was going to buy them anyway. You just saved me a trip,” Steve protested.

“Well, I’m at least paying for this one,” you said, wiggling the No Fear Shakespeare out from under his arm. He huffed in annoyance but couldn’t stop you without dropping the rest of his books.

“And something fun!” you added. “Do you read for fun?”

“I - yes, but I didn’t bring you here to buy me presents.”

“Bringing me here was a gift. I’m trying to reciprocate. What kind of books do you like?”

Steve blinked at you, pressing his lips into a firm line, a childish gesture of refusal that made you laugh.

“The silent treatment? That’s how you’re gonna play it? Alright, then I’ll have to guess.” You eyed him carefully, trying to keep the grin off your face. “I’m feeling old lady romance. Watercolor abs and billowy shirts,” you said decisively.

“Damn. How did you know?”

Not willing to be the victim of a called bluff, you raised your eyebrows in challenge, making a beeline towards the romance shelves.

“Oh, God. No! Wait!”

You bit hard on your bottom lip, trying to contain a laugh as you heard Steve fumbling to follow after you, no hands free to halt your progress.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Steven. My friend Wanda and I bought each other some last Valentine’s Day and read them together. Of course she chose hers on the internet, not realizing that she was handing me a 900 page soap operas straight from the 80’s. But we meet every Saturday to talk about them, and let me tell you, that is some outstanding entertainment.”

“You’re really gonna do this to me?” he sighed.

You pulled a book from the shelf, holding it up with a cheshire grin.

“Look at that. Equal opportunity eye candy. We love to see it.”

“St- ” He swallowed his protest in favor of dropping his books into a nearby chair and snatching the book from your hand, hiding the cover against his chest.

“Really enthusiastic about it, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll buy it for you,” you giggled.

“I’ll buy you a worse one,” he threatened.

“Are you sure you’re prepared to undergo the research that threat would require?” you asked, and despite the glare he was leveling at you, there was amusement sparkling in those eyes.

“Try me.”

“Well then, Steve Rogers, it is my honor to introduce you to the time-honored game of Find the Phallus. Choose your book.”

The muscle in his jaw twitched, but his eyes betrayed nothing, staying fixed on yours as he reached blindly toward the shelf and pulled a book free. He set the other down on the chair beside him.

“Going with blind luck, huh? Bold choice. Works okay for Wanda, though.” You turned toward the shelves, eyes flicking over the titles before choosing one that sounded promising.

“Rules?” Steve asked, rolling his shoulders as if preparing for a fight.

“On the count of three, we both open our books. First to find a sex scene wins.”

“Call it.”

You initiated the count through a smile, shifting into your game face as you rifled quickly through your book, skimming a few sentences from each page before moving on. Enemies to lovers, pirates vs navy. Classic. Your eyes caught on a particularly colorful euphemism, but as you opened your mouth to claim victory, Steve’s voice rang out.

“Got it! Page 15. They’re really not much for conversation apparently.”

“I literally just found one. This is a conspiracy,” You groaned, moving to peek at the page he was displaying for you. “Damn. ‘Pulsing manhood’ definitely earns you some bonus points.”

Steve snorted, snapping the book closed and returning it to its space on the shelf with an overplayed grimace.

“You’re not allowed to hate a game you just won,” you laughed.

“Beginner's luck I didn’t particularly want. I think I’m scarred for life. This game was Tony’s idea, wasn’t it?”

“Yep. Although Bruce is actually the current champion. He’s very proud.”

“I’m sure he is,” Steve laughed sarcastically, taking the book from your hands and skimming the back of it. “This sounds terrible. I’m buying it for you.”

You smiled, taking an identical copy for Wanda as well as the romance novel Steve had placed with the reading list books.

“Deal. If you put it in the middle of the stack, the cashier will already be halfway through small talk by the time she gets to it and therefore unable to comment.”

Steve smiled back, rearranging the order of his books accordingly as he gathered them back up into his arms.

“Thanks for the advice. Are you ready to go, then? If we leave now, we should have time for stop number two.”

You nodded eagerly, following him to the front and keeping up a cheerful conversation with the cashier through both transactions.

Once outside, Steve guided you one street over and several blocks back the way you had come, stopping before a tiny shop with a vibrant awning displaying a shop name in a language and alphabet you could not decipher. You looked to Steve in silent question, but he only smiled, pulling the door open for you and letting the flood of warm cookie-scented air answer for him.

The inside was stark white - walls, floors, lights, everything but the tiny chairs and the shelves behind the counter, which were a vibrant lime green. The girl behind the counter seemed to recognize Steve, smiling widely before turning to prepare something.

“Come here often, do you?” you asked jokingly.

“Once you taste their culinary masterpiece, you will understand.”

By the time you reached the counter, there was a paper bowl waiting, half full with a broken up chocolate chip cookies, melted chocolate running freely as steam rose from the container. A small glass bottle of milk went down next to it with a soft clink, and two spoons were stabbed into the cookie pieces.

“You’re new! I’m Cory,” the girl introduced herself to you with a friendly smile. “Sorry for assuming, but trust me, this is the best thing on the menu, and you’ll want to share. Everyone shares. Except Bucky, but he always regrets it.”

“Oh, he doesn’t regret it,” Steve laughed, handing over the proper payment.

“Well, he should,” Cory replied, handing back the change she already had waiting in her hand. She reached out and poured the milk over the cookies, placing the bottle on a tray of empties beside her.

“What if I wanted to stay here and eat it this time?” Steve argued, lifting a disposable spoon with mock disappointment.

“We close in thirty minutes, and it would take you at least an hour to get out of those tiny chairs. Now, scoot.”

“Rude!” he protested when you laughed, snatching up the cup and turning toward the exit. “Goodnight to you too, Cory.”

Cory winked as you followed Steve out the door.

“Excuse me, I thought we were sharing!” you said when you caught up, snatching the extra spoon from him.

“Maybe both spoons were for me,” Steve teased, but he shifted to hold the bowl between you, smiling as you tried to assemble the perfect bite. “Careful. Everything in there is an extreme temperature.”

You took your first bites at the same time, and Steve hummed in amusement when your eyes widened.

What the hell was happening in your mouth? The cookie was virtually molten, almost burning your tongue before clashing with the near-frozen milk. Chocolate, brown sugar, and the perfect amount of salt lit up your taste buds, and Steve was fully laughing at you now as you smacked his shoulder excitedly.

“Oh my God!”

“I know!”

“I wasted so much time not being your friend! How do you know the most magical hidden places in the city?”

Steve smiled smugly, taking another bite of cookie and milk as he shrugged.

“I’m gonna die here on this sad, damp sidewalk, and I won’t even be mad about it,” you insisted, taking another bite yourself.

“Or I could walk you home so you can die somewhere more comfortable. If you want,” he offered.

“Probably a good idea,” you said, checking your watch. “Wanda is only supposed to watch Faucet for another hour. Oh! That’s my dog - ”

“I know,” Steve laughed. “Bucky has told me a lot about her. I honestly think he might love her more than he loves me.”

“Well, she is extremely lovable. I’d appreciate the company, but I don’t want you going too far out of your way. I live back towards the college,” you said, pointing with your spoon.

“Me too! Won’t be a problem.”

You shared contented smiles as you turned back towards home, walking closer than before to share the dessert. You weren’t sure which made you feel warmer.

The sidewalk, previously uncontested, became more populated the closer you got to campus, groups of students filtering out of bars and returning home from parties. You weaved between them, keeping your head down to avoid traumatizing anyone with the experience of running into their professor while drunk. Beside you, Steve did the same.

These groups thinned out again before disappearing entirely as you headed off the main streets towards the residential areas, and you carried on a quiet conversation until you came to a stop in front of your building.

You hesitated a moment, studying Steve’s face before speaking.

“Earlier tonight, I said that we needed honest and direct communication, and I want to keep that up. Do you believe me?”

“Yes,” Steve answered, a touch of concern entering his eyes.

“So, believe that I mean exactly what I say when I ask if you want to come upstairs for a little while. To talk, rest a little, and meet my dog before you head back home. Those are my honest intentions,” you said carefully.

“I get to meet Faucet, huh?” The smile he gave you was tinged with shyness, and his eyes flicked up towards the windows.

“If you want to. No pressure, though.”

He thought for a moment, shifting slightly on his feet before looking back down at you.

“I’d love to.”

------------------------

Ah!! How do we feel about the crush being out in the open now? Who would you want to challenge to the romance novel game? MOST importantly, do you think Faucet will like Steve? Thoughts, opinions, speculation, I want to hear them all!

As always, replies, reblogs, and asks make the world go round! Your reactions brighten my day!

Tags: @shifutheshihtzu @internalbullshit @lilasiannerd-blog @kennadance14 @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @iwillbeinmynest @scotlandasshole @netflixa @hardcorehippos @singingprincessstudent @sophiealiice @blue1928 @tinuviel015 @jacks-on-krack @a-book-pressed-rose @fvckjamesbarnes @bbparker @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @feelmyroarrrr @breezy1415 @intricate-melody @tessa-bl @wxstedhexrt @im-a-light-child @ohswald @mrsbarnes32557038 @kindaace @auskitty @wxstedhexrt @londoncallingbutiwontpickup @orangespocks @multifandomgirl-us @majesticavenger @buckybarneshairpullingkink @patzammit @pato-el-cerdito

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers au #steve rogers series #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fluff

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void-knights · 3 years

Text

The Arcana Review* Edited!

[ID: Banner image featuring the text "The Arcana Review" along the bottom. In the background images of the six romanceable characters in this game.] (TL;DR at the end)

So it has been a while since I have written a review about a game. However, "The Arcana" had been recommended to me so many times, I finally decided to try it out. This is just my opinion, of the game. [Edit 1. It has been brought to my attention that all my issues could be fixed by modding the game. Yes. Yes it could. But I do not like these sorts of workarounds because these sorts of workarounds should not have to exist.] Pro: ✔ The Art is incredible, it's such a pleasing and cohesive style. ✔ The music is wonderful. ✔ The writing is good, I do truly love the world that they have built and the characters living within the world. ✔ The theme of the Tarot Cards is wonderful, it's not just a one-off gimmick like I had assumed it would be. ✔ Choose your own pronouns, She/Her, He/Him, They/Them. ✔ LGBT romances. ✔ Free to play Cons:

❌ Gambling mechanics exist in this game for you to earn premium currencies. Wish somebody had warned me (an addict) about that in this "visual novel". ❌ The cost of the premium currencies (keys and coins) of this game ❌ The sheer time investment if you cannot afford to pay. ❌ The fact that you have to watch thirty-second plus advertisements to get 50 coins (which isn't a lot). ❌ If you can't pay the price of the currencies or have watched five advertisements for 250 gold coins (which isn't much) and have used up all your keys for the day (yes twenty-four hours) then you either have to wait until the next day OR hope that Nix Hydra (the company) is doing a special social media event for you to earn even more coins/keys.

The company in response to other people's complaints (reviews on Google Play Store) actually suggests looking on their social media for these special events or doing "daily events" which is gambling. Which as an addict is not good!

I need to point out how expensive this game is! It infuriates me!

I am more used to visual novels that I can pay a flat rate for. I pay £20 and I get the complete the story, maybe there will be paid DLC for a further £5 but even then that is fucking cheaper and less time-consuming than this game. Unless you are willing to spend obscene amounts of money you cannot sit down with this visual novel/game and play through an entire romance route in one day. You cannot play it on your time, you have to wait if you cannot pay. To give an example: I played Lucio's route. To unlock "Special events" that I thought were just standard romance moments between you and the character in these types of visual novels you can pay anywhere between 150-275 coins per event. I calculated the cost of Lucio's route (only his route there are six routes each with a good/bad ending) and his two endings. (This does not include paid bonus content and additional content. Just the main story romance story route) 6975 gold coins. For one route. One character. Once you paid for it you have it. To "Save money" you can "buy a book" (which is essentially a chapter of this story) for 350 gold coins, that permanently unlock that book. This means you spend 4900 gold coins to permanently unlock all the chapters of this story. (This rate do not include the ending, but I cannot afford to pay for keys, so I am waiting for more free keys. I do not know if you need to pay anything in the endings.) But what does that mean? To put in context, if you do buy gold coins, you would have to pay for a bundle of coins.

7500 coins would cost me £93.99 3000 coins would cost me £35.99 1500 coins would cost me £18.49 750 coins would cost me £8.99 375 coins would cost me £4.59 150 coins would cost me £1.79 This is for one character. There are six characters. Six. On top of that, you get (I assume) 3 free keys in a 24-hour period by waiting 3 hours for each key to be given to you. You might get more in a 24-hour period. I don't know. But you need a key to unlock a "book" and yes you can buy keys with money. 5 keys would cost me £1.59 14 keys would cost me £4.29 30 keys would cost me £8.49 65 keys would cost me £16.99 If you want to unlock all the books at once, you would need to buy the 14 key package. All the keys do is let you progress the story. But once you have read through a route, I believe you can go back and re-read it for free. So no, you do not have to spend that money again if you want to re-read the character route. So let us say I buy 5250 gold coins plus the 14 keys that would cost me £67.76. For one character route, if I want to unlock all the romantic moments/memories. Otherwise, I can just plough through with the basic bare-bones romance. I did actually pay for 1500 gold coins to unlock some of these romantic moments, and they are significantly better than the free stuff. I would have to spend in excess of £400 to unlock all the character routes in their complete form, If i wished to experience this game like a visual novel and read over the weekend. OR I could wait for those 5 adverts to return, earning 250 gold coins for the cost of maybe 3 minutes of my time and wait 3 hours for each new key or hope that Nix Hydra is doing a sale on keys/coins. To put this in context, I was also recently recommended "When the Night Comes" by Lunaris Games. While I prefer the art of "The Arcana" When the Night Comes allows me to play a complete game. I paid £9.47 (the base rate, you can offer to pay more if you wish) for a complete story which included bonus side stories. As for the gambling mechanics THAT NOBODY WARNED ME ABOUT!!! Though I should have expected it from a free game, I never expected to see it in a visual novel! It just pisses me off that so many people recommended this game. It truly is a good story/characters/world and I love Lucio. But fuck! Don't give me that "You don't have to spend money" crap. I know that. But do you seriously expect people to invest so much time and wait just to unlock the next chapter of a story?!!!

[Edit 2. So I time travelled! I do not know if this affected the outcome for my daily 'spin the wheel' results. But it took me almost three months to collect enough free coins. You earn the least amount I think 70 coins on day 1 and 240 coins on day 7 after day 7 it resets to 1. It took me over 2 months to collect enough coins to permanantly unlock all of Lucio's chapters. Including the coins I bought with actual money. You also earn 1 key every three hours. So yeah.] TL;DR | No I do not recommend this game. Fuck this expensive shit. Great art, story and characters though.

#the arcana #the arcana review #the arcana game #thearcana #My review #Visual novel #gambling #montag morgasson #lucio montag #the arcana game lucio #Asra Alnazar #count lucio #Nadia Satrinava #julian devorak #muriel the arcana #muriel the hermit #Muriel #Portia Devorak

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secretshinigami · 3 years

Text

marlboro nights.

Author: @fruitynear

For: @karl-the-stingray

Pairings/Characters: Matt/Mello

Rating/Warnings: T. Warnings: Minors smoking?

Prompt: Mello, who has been in Wammy’s house for like 6 months, gets a roommate named Matt

Author’s notes: I took the prompt very liberally but I do hope you like it <3

----------

Six months after moving into Wammy’s House, Mello gets his first (and last) roommate; Matt. At first, it’s awkward. It’s a known fact of life that the adjustment time for a new roommate is always a bit awkward, and that is no less true for Mello and Matt. At first, they get into fights on a near-daily basis. Usually over dumb things like the volume of whatever game Matt is playing at the moment. These fights would very rarely escalating past a bit of wrestling, and even when itheyt did end with worse things like bloody noses, Matt and Mello never stayed mad at each other too long.

In fact, Mello found it very hard to stay mad at Matt for any serious amount of time. Sure, he was annoying as hell, but he was also nearly as smart as Mello himself. Despite being deeply uninterested in the student ranking system, Matt was still only barely below him. Thankfully, Matt wasn’t fond of applying himself. Along with being smart as hell, Matt had a confidence about him that Mello could appreciate. On the other hand, that meant he took none of Mello’s shit.

Naturally, they’d fallen into a friendship. After all, they did everything together, whether it be class, studying, eating, or staying up far past their designated bedtime to keep playing whatever game Matt had talked Mello into playing. Sometimes, if Matt were feeling especially kind towards Mello, he’d let the other boy win the game, just because he knew how much Mello enjoyed the simple act of winning. He’d considered the fact that perhaps he shouldn’t encourage these habits, but what Mello didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

One night, about two years after they’d been assigned roommates, Matt waltzes back into their room with a pack of cigarettes.

“Look at what I got, Mels.” Matt grins, tossing the pack towards Mello after firmly shutting and locking their room.

“How the hell did you even get these?” Mello asks as he stares at the pack for a moment. They were barely teenagers at thirteen years old, so it didn’t make sense that Matt had a pack of cigarettes. Plus, those things were gonna kill him if he started them up, and their life expectancies already weren’t great.

“I’ll never reveal my secrets.”

Mello shurgs, figuring Matt will end up telling him later on. Matt wasn’t very good at keeping secrets, not from Mello anyways, “Where are you even going to smoke these? Wammy has cameras everywhere.”

Matt smirks, “I hacked the cameras.”

Mello’s almost drops. Matt knew what kind of trouble he would get in if Wammy or Roger found out what he’d done, “You did what?”

“I figured out how to hack the cameras last night,” Matt explains, puzzling Mello as to how he can so casually talk about this like he’s talking about the weather knowing the consequences, “But don’t worry, I’ve left them alone for the most part. I just adjusted the angle of the one that overlooks that ledge on the roof.”

“You’re so dead when they find out.”

“I’m only dead if they find out. They’re not gonna find out, Mels.” Matt says, opening the window “Wanna come?”

“Of course I’m coming,” Mello grumbles, walking towards the window, “Someone’s gotta keep you out of trouble.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Matt grins, “Grab your coat, it’s a bit cold.”

Mello rolls his eyes but grabs his coat anyways. It was sweet how Matt, a guy who could barely take care of himself, was always so concerned about Mello’s wellbeing. Someone hadn’t cared about him this much in a very long time. Not since his parents, anyways. It was nice. Really nice, actually.

The aforementioned ledge is conveniently located outside their window and it only takes them a few moments to climb out of it, Mello first and then Matt. They sit beside the chimney, shoulders touching as Matt reaches into his pack and pulls out a cigarette at random. He places it between his lips, using a little green lighter he also definitely didn’t buy to light it.

A silence falls between them and Matt leans back, laying flat on the roof as he casually smoked his cigarette. Mello was amazed he wasn’t coughing, but perhaps this wasn’t his first cigarette after all. He’d have to ask about that later. That thought bothers Mello for reasons he can’t quite explain, but when would Matt have even found the time to go smoke when he and Mello spend almost all their free time together?

“Do you you think we still would’ve been friends?” Matt asks after a few moments, tearing Mello away from his thoughts, “Ya know, if we hadn’t ended up here.”

“I don’t know,” Mello answers honestly because at this point he can’t imagine a life that isn’t like theirs. A normal life is a privilege they weren’t afforded, “Do you think we would?”

“I like to think so.” Matt muttered before taking another long drag, “You’re a really good person, Mels.”

Mello feels his chest warm and he looks at Matt, and he can’t help but smile. Matt is laying in his back, face towards the sky but eyes closed as he takes the cigarette from his mouth, holding it out as an offering it to Mello.

“Want some?” Matt asks, opening his eyes as his lips curl into a soft smile.

“That shit’s gonna kill you, Matty.”

He takes the cigarettes anyways and Matt grins, “Guess we’ll die together then, huh?”

“Wouldn’t be so bad,” Mello says, taking a short drag of the cigarette and only managing to cough a little, “Not if it’s with you.”

Thankfully, Matt doesn’t say anything about Mello’s smoking. He does, however, absolutely light up at the admission from Mello, “You really think so?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Mello offers him a soft smile, fingers brushing against Matt’s as he hands back the cigarette. Matt pauses, looking at Mello for a moment with an unreadable expression before seemingly coming to a conclusion and grabbing the cigarette with his other hand, intertwining his fingers with Mello’s.

“This alright?” Matt asks, voice barely above a whisper as he gives Mello’s hand a squeeze

Mello stares at their intertwined fingers for a moment. Back when his parents were alive, he’s always been taught that this kind of thing was wrong. Boys can’t love other boys, that’s the rule. But as he watches Matt smoke his nasty ass cigarette he realizes that maybe he does love him. He’s not sure, mostly because he’s not sure what love is supposed to feel like, but this? Holding hands with Matt on the rooftop.

It feels right if nothing else, so he reaches out with his other hand, tracing some of the constellations the freckles on Matt’s face form until he’s cupping the other boy’s cheek. Matt smiles, closing his eyes again as Mello rubs his thumb over the smooth skin of his face.

I want to kiss him.

The realization hits him like a fright train and Mello moves his hand up, running his hand through Matt’s slightly greasy hair. Still, it’s lovely in its own way because it’s Matt, and Mello loves Matt.

“Hey, Matty?” Mello asks.

Matt hums, not bothering to open his eyes, “Yeah, Mels?”

Mello takes a deep breath. It’s now or never, “Can I kiss you?”

Matt’s eyes shoot open, seemingly searching Mello’s for any sign that he’s not being completely serious for ages. Though it is only seconds before Matt nods, offering Mello a smile and another squeeze to the hand he’s holding.

Mello leans in, both boys’ eyes closing as Mello inches closer to Matt. The fact that Matt’s lips are soft is the first thing he notices. Surprisingly soft, in fact, as Mello expected them to be at least partially chapped. But no, they’re lovely, and Mello finds it hard to pull away after a moment, even if his lips do taste entirely like cigarette.

“Wow,” Matt mutters when Mello pulls away, eyes fluttering open once more, “I’ve been waning to do that for ages you know.”

Matt nods and Mello laughs, “Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think you liked me! Plus, you’ve got the whole catholic thing going on and I didn’t know how you’d react to finding out I’m gay.”

“For what it’s worth, I really like you.” Mello says, not quite ready to say the big three words and for now that’s okay.

Matt smiles, leaning up and giving Mello a quick kiss, barely even a peck, “I really like you too.”

“Does this make us boyfriends?”

“I think so,“ Matt grins, before hesitantly adding, "Only if you want to be, though.”

“I do.” Mello says quickly, "I really do.”

“Good, then it’s settled,” Matt grins with a wide smile, eyes shining as bright as the sun as he looks at Mello, “Then does my boyfriend wanna go in and play Mario Kart?”

Mello smirks, “Only if you’re prepared to get your ass kicked.”

“Anything for you, Mels.”

#fanfiction #submission #matt #mello #melloxmatt #mellodramattic #ratings: teen #fruitynear #karl-the-stingray #Near's Bday Finale 2k21

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saturniandragon · 3 years

Text

“Fifty.”

Zanri says to himself as he counts the last piece of gold coin in his satchel. The sun is just preparing to send off its last ray of light, on the small island of Khenarthi’s Roost, just south of Elsweyr.

A month he has settled here in the small town of Mistral, although his definition of “settled” is very loose. Multiple times he had to come and go from the inn as he’s not able to continuously pay for rent, what with his inconsistent income not making things easy. And returning to Elsweyr mainland isn’t an option.

A month ago he arrived here, on his attempt to flee from his abusive, drug-addict parents who kept leeching off his earnings. It wasn’t a decision that he made lightly, as it hasn’t always been that way.

For the first 15 years of his life, Zanri al-Anaqi had a decent childhood, born in a humble Khajiit family who made living as traders. It wasn’t too small or too big of a business, just enough to feed the married couple and their only child. Young Zanri inherited his father’s archery skills and his mother’s caring and generous heart, and he proved it when he killed his first deer at age 13 from one ricefield length away, and grew love of working and giving to the local community.

It didn’t last, and the family’s luck ran out.

Their trading business suddenly started to lose clients, for whatever reason still unclear to this very day. Zanri’s father made all possible efforts of reviving their only source of income, but to no avail. At this point young Zanri was already making his own earnings, whatever small it might be, from doing community work and hunting animals. Most of the coins he kept for himself, but seeing his family work starting to decline he decided to help out both of his parents financially.

2 years later Zanri found himself as the sole financial support of his family. Whatever efforts his parents had committed to get their previous business back on its feet ultimately ended as they’d completely run out of savings. The 17-year-old Khajiit had to triple or even quadrupled his work just to make sure they all had enough food each day to survive. And not rarely he had to give up his portion of daily consumption just so his parents could have something to eat.

Fell into depression, Zanri’s parents opted for “less desirable” sources of income, even if it included thievery, robbery, skooma and gambling. None of them wanted to choose that path, but it was not like they had choices. With heavy heart Zanri let his parents do whatever they wanted.

But it took a turn for the worst.

What was once a healthy family in Elsweyr turned into a growing center of criminal activities. Zanri’s father became addicted to drugs, alcohol and gambling, especially seeing just how much coin he could farm from the first two. Zanri’s mother wasn’t much different.

But the real issue for Zanri was that they kept taking his earning from him even though they’d already made more than enough. Zanri hadn’t followed his parents trail of earning money from illegal ways, still holding true to his moral compass of being a lawful good citizen of Elsweyr, who enjoyed doing community work and earned honest gold out of it.

Numerous times he’d tried to reason with his father, reminding him of what they were in the past, that he wanted them to be a proper, law-abiding family again. But Zanri’s father had lost it, often not hesitating to throw punches when his son was trying to talk. And it got worse day by day as his father got even more addicted to liquors and substances.

After 8 years of living in a dangerous household, not even being able to survive on his own, what with his own parents constantly snatching 90% of his honest income and physically abusing him, Zanri packed up his belongings and snuck out at dead midnight. The decision wasn’t made on the spot; for weeks he contemplated if he should just stay and keep trying to turn things back to normal, if he just tried harder, but in the end he realized that his chances were minimal.

Zanri has just finished selling his hunting results; 3 small rabbits and one wolf hide for the local clothier in Mistral. He wishes his labor were paid a bit more, but it’s not his place to ask. His rent is due tomorrow and evidently fifty gold isn’t going to cover it, even if he gives up food. While the tavern owner provides food at affordable prices, it is offset by the high rent fees.

Zanri returns to his room, leather armor drenched in sweat and boots covered in dirt and sand. He sets his rusty bow by the nightstand and immediately throws his exhausted body on the bed. Not even bothering to have dinner first since he just wants to sleep after a long day outside.

Every night he wonders if shouldn’t have left. If he should just stay with his… family. And every night he has to remind himself that he should not turn back.

Morning comes and Zanri immediately starts packing, ready to spend the next few nights outside the city again. He meets with the tavern owner near the entrance and pays 40 gold, then apologizes for not being able to pay the rent in full before leaving the building. After spending the remaining 10 gold for morning breakfast at the market, he leaves the city through the gates.

Until an unknown voice greets him.

“You look capable.”

Zanri stops in his tracks and turns his head towards the source of the voice. A male Khajiit in black leather armor with gold eagle engravings, crossed arms while leaning on a stone wall near Mistral gates. His red mohawk hair shines bright under the morning sun.

“…excuse me?”

“Got stones in your ears? Of course this one was talking to you.”

The mysterious male Khajiit starts approaching Zanri, but Zanri takes precaution. He slowly moves his hands closer to his back where he hides his dagger, until…

“Now, now, there’s no need to go blade and blood this morning. This one simply wishes to ask for help, and looks like you’re a little low on coin. Perhaps we can help each other.”

“Perhaps, what do you need?”

Zanri slowly lowers his guard around the mysterious Khajiit, he maintains a keen eye on body language. Though overall the unfamiliar Khajiit doesn’t seem to be much of a danger to him. It is rather eerie how or where he finds out about his financial problems, however.

“This one is with the Aldmeri Dominion. One of our ships recently crashed on the west side of this island. We could use extra hands on helping the survivors.”

“Well I know one thing or two about being a field medic…”

Aldmeri Dominion isn’t an unfamiliar name in Zanri’s ear. The Elsweyr-Valenwood-Summerset alliance is pretty much known by almost any Khajiit by now, but Zanri hasn’t been one to meddle with political things or anything of its sorts. While he doesn’t have interest at all in actually joining the ranks, he’s pretty curious about their history and how they managed to unite three Tamrielic races under one banner.

And it’s a rare moment for him to be directly approached by one of them.

“Very good. We could use your skills. Do not worry, this one can make sure you are paid for your efforts.”

“But why me, of all the people here in Mistral?”

“This one knows a good individual when he sees one.”

“Hmph.” Zanri scoffs at his wordplay. While not fully trusting him, the Dominion Khajiit seem like a generally good individual, and Zanri is in need of some coin to provide him with basic necessities. “Fine, I’ll play along for now.”

Zanri and the Dominion Khajiit sets off from Mistral, heading straight to the west side of the island.

“By the way, this one hasn’t caught your name.”

“Zanri. Zanri al-Anaqi. What about you?”

“Razum-Dar, but you may call him Raz.”

Zanri al-Anaqi

#tes #eso #the elder scrolls online #oc: zanri al anaqi

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astonishinglegends · 3 years

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Ep 205: Terry Carnation's "Dark Air" and Rich Hatem

“Imagine the universe, compressed on the head of a pin…”

– Scott’s remembrance of a Carl Sagan quote, which, turns out, probably originates from a parody impression of Carl Sagan

Description:

We have a very special guest joining us tonight, metaphysical "astralnaut," philosopher of the liminal, "Pope of the Paranormal," and host of the AM Radio talk show Dark Air, Terry Carnation. Terry first got his start in the paranormal radio genre when unexpectedly thrust into taking over for another show. While working as a late-night rock n' roll Disc Jockey for an FM station in Buffalo, NY, in 1992, Reginald Wilcox, the host of the paranormal call-in show that aired after Terry's slot was mysteriously murdered while Terry was in the bathroom... or so he claims. In his unflappable sense of duty, apparently stronger than his sense of legal obligation, Terry immediately took over the role of consigliere for listeners stupefied by the supernatural. And in Terry's words, "that's how a legend was created." Now, after a three-year hiatus, Terry Carnation returns with a new podcast, also called Dark Air, available starting April 1, 2021, wherever podcasts are given away for free. While you may not have heard of him, there will be something uneasily familiar about his voice and visage. And the audience will come to know his strange power for tearing off the head of disbelief and reaching down deep into our souls to yank out the viscera of our darkest fears and mysteries. Wrapped around our interview with Terry, our good buddy Rich Hatem joins us once again to discuss his latest adventures and projects. We'll also con him into playing our version of a game show, in the spirit of America's NPR radio program Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! and Britain's Would I Lie to You? We'll tell Rich three outrageous paranormal stories, and he has to guess which one is fake. Please join us for an episode of inscrutable levity.

Reference Links:

Terry Carnation’s website, TerryCarnation.com

Terry Carnation and Dark Air on Audioboom, where you can subscribe to the platform of your choice

Dark Air with Terry Carnation on Apple Podcasts

Follow Terry Carnation on Instagram

Follow Terry Carnation on Twitter

Terry Carnation on Facebook

Where to stream DC Titans

“TERRIBLE FLYING JELLY BAGS aka DOMSTEN BLOBS: (SWEDEN)” by Rob Morphy on cryptopia.us

National Public Radio’s Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

The BBC One panel show involving true and false tales, Would I Lie To You?

“The Story Behind The Haunted Donkey Lady Bridge In Texas Will Send Chills Down Your Spine” from OnlyInYourState.com

“South Texas Haunted Folklore: The Tale of the Converse Werewolf” from KSAT.com

On a totally unrelated subject…

Rainn Wilson is best known for playing the role of Dwight Schrute on NBC's The Office. Additional film and television credits include Galaxy Quest, Almost Famous, The Rocker, Super, Six Feet Under, Juno, Backstrom, Star Trek Discovery, Thom Pain, The Meg, Mom, Don't Tell a Soul and Utopia. He will also be appearing in the forthcoming podcast Dark Air with Terry Carnation. Wilson co-founded SoulPancake, a digital media company, and the Lide Foundation, an educational initiative in rural Haiti that empowers at-risk women and girls through the arts.

Dark Air with Terry Carnation was created by Rainn Wilson and Aaron Lee and is produced by Thom Harp and Chris Kelly. Dark Air with Terry Carnation is a production of Imperial Mammoth, Audioboom and Kelly&Kelly. Theme music by Marcos Moscat

This episode features the voice talents of Jinous Khjadivian and Dana Davis as the two audience callers.

Please help out our good friend Stan Gordon, by purchasing his books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble – you’re gonna love ‘em!

At Barnes & Noble:

Silent Invasion: The Pennsylvania UFO-Bigfoot Casebook

Astonishing Encounters: Pennsylvania’s Unknown Creatures, Casebook 3

Really Mysterious Pennsylvania: UFOs, Bigfoot, and Other Weird Encounters, Casebook 1

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Credits:

Episode 205: Terry Carnation’s “Dark Air“ and Rich Hatem. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess; Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel. Sound Design by Ryan McCullough; Tess Pfeifle, Producer, and Lead Researcher; Research Support from the astonishing League of Astonishing Researchers, a.k.a. The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2021 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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josefavomjaaga · 4 years

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Helfert, Joachim Murat, Chapter 1, part 5

The gain Joachim Murat took back to Naples from the equivocal attitude he had adopted during the previous campaign was the righteous wrath of his imperial brother-in-law, who, as sovereign lord of Elba, had become his Italian neighbour, and the deep-rooted distrust of the allies, the mighty conquerors of this part of the world, in which they now played the same role the great Corsican had played for many decades. Russia, which had never been favourable to the Napoleonids on the throne of Naples, which had never ceased to turn its outspoken sympathies to the Sicilian Bourbons, was now less inclined than ever to commit itself to Murat. General Balašev accompanied the king to his capital, and diplomatic relations between the two cabinets seemed to be about to be re-established; but the Russian accession to the Austro-Napolitan treaty of alliance and guarantee was continually delayed; Balašev always had a new pretext ready to postpone the due declaration of his cabinet. There was no mention of an envoy from the King of England; there was not even a certified British consul in Naples. It is true that Joachim enjoyed no little sympathy among the British nation, and the opposition of the London Parliament showed itself inclined to throw its weight behind his recognition and retention on the throne of Naples. The London Cabinet itself, Lords Castlereagh and Liverpool, and the Prince-Regent were nothing less than hostile to him; only they would still know nothing of a formal alliance with his government, while Bentinck and the Duke of Wellington made no secret of their hostility to "General Murat."

In this way, it was and ultimately remained only the Austrian Emperor and his Chancellor of State who proved faithful to the obligations entered into with King Joachim, in spite of the heavy reproaches he had brought upon himself by his irresponsible attitude in the field, and in doing so did not fail to reassure him that they would be able to convince the other powers to adopt the same attitude. A military convention concluded at Bologna on 28 April established a demarcation line between the imperial and royal troops: the latter occupied the upper Italian duchies and the Roman legations south of the Po, while the latter had to withdraw to the area around Macerata, Fermo and Ancona.

This was also the area that had been promised to the king by the Austrians as early as January as an extension of his country, a promise that they admittedly had greater difficulty in fulfilling from one month to the next. Joachim Murat had entered the field full of grandiose dreams of power; he had believed that the sympathies of all Italy were attached to his name, to his war fame; in the regions occupied by his troops, his agencies had dwelt like masters, had collected taxes, had made arrangements, had appointed officials, as if they were to remain there forever. This had now been pushed back bit by bit into ever narrower confines. Lord Bentinck had made a start with the occupation of Tuscany, of which Prince Giuseppe Rospigliosi soon took possession in the name of Grand Duke Ferdinand (1 May). On the other hand, the Pope, returning from French captivity, had appeared at the Austro-Neapolitan outposts and, in repeated meetings with the king and his representatives, had simply demanded the return of all that the revolution had taken from him. Joachim's demands for possession of the Marches could not be reconciled with this claim, and a second stumbling block was that while Pius VII had promised to send him an envoy and to accept one from him, he seemed to have forgotten or to want to forget this promise after he had made his solemn entry into Rome, for Naples did not refrain from reminding him of it.

King Joachim, once back in his own country and now free of the leash his imperial brother-in-law had been trying to keep him on from Paris for years, showed himself more eager than ever to attend to the welfare and wishes of his Neapolitans. But even now he was not entirely free in his decisions and actions: whereas before it was the French capital that he had to listen to, now it was the allied powers he could not afford to tangle with. This brought him into conflict with a faction in his country that was daily gaining more followers among the higher classes and that wished for the introduction of constitutional institutions; they saw their higher aspiration in the territorial and political unification of Italy, which, however, as the more insightful could not conceal, could not be expected at least under the present circumstances. In this call for the granting of a constitution, many of the higher military officers also joined in, and not only were addresses of such content issued from them, but threats were even made to have the "constitution" proclaimed by the army. The same idea was promoted by the Freemasons in their lodges, of which Lord Bentinck had recently proclaimed himself the protector, and by the numerous Carbonari in tails, while the mass of Carbonari in smocks and jackets were concerned only with the shaking off of French rule and the return of the old ruling house. Murat's courts and military commissions therefore raged against the latter, and time and again there were reports of sentences and executions. The king, on the other hand, was not unwilling to grant the wishes of the former, at least he expressed himself in this sense in trusted circles; he would undoubtedly have won great sympathy among the other Italians and perhaps gained the friendship of England. But the other powers, now that revolutionary France had been crushed and conquered, were most decidedly opposed to everything originating there or otherwise having a liberal tinge.

More than anywhere else, such antagonism existed in Austria, and King Joachim had all the more reason to avoid any kind of confrontation with her, and especially with Emperor Francis, and to avoid anything that might be disagreeable to him, all the more so because the European Areopagus was soon to convene in the imperial capital on the Danube, and the continuation of the Kingdom of Naples in its present form and under its present dynasty depended on its pronouncement.

(End of chapter 1.)

Awaiting the final decision of the Vienna Congress before deciding upon a constitution surely was not a bad idea. In the years following the Congress, plenty of German states managed to give themselves constitutions despite the suspicious glances from both Austria and Prussia. The three old napoleonic allies Baden and Bavaria (both 1818) and Württemberg (in 1819) were among them. Seems it really only was a question of time and patience.

#helfert murat #joachim murat #italy1815 #napoleon #poor joachim

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chasseurdeloup-retired · 4 years

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When the Party's Over || Notia and Kaden

TIMING: Current LOCATION: A bar PARTIES: @humanmoodring and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Cordelia gets one last chance to live it up.

Finding an exorcist wasn’t enough. Kaden knew that much. Hell, it was no good if there was no body to work with. That didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want to have to deal with this portion of the plan, didn’t want to have to face the body of his friend. So he took a shot at the bar before looking around for Cordelia. He saw what should be a familiar face across the way. Sure, she looked like Nadia, sure, but something was off. The mannerisms, the movements, every inch of her screamed that she was someone else borrowing his friend’s body. He wasn’t sure why he thought there was safety in a public space, but he was hoping there might be some to be found. “Cordelia,” he said, placing a firm grip on her shoulder. “Long time, no see.” His hand closed tighter around her, likely bruising her body, but he wanted to make a fucking point. He was ready to grab her a lot more forcefully if he had to, but hell if he hoped he didn’t have to. “How’s it been, really? I’ve got a few things we need to chat about.”

The bartender was a terrible flirt, just the kind that Nadia knew she could get a drink or two or three out of without having to even start a tab. Not that she’d even got started when she felt a familiar presence behind her and a hand clamping down on her shoulder. She was kind of impressed with Kaden’s forcefulness. He really didn’t see his friend anymore when he looked at her, did he? The room chilled around them, but she shot the bartender a reassuring wink and turned to face Kaden. “Ohmygod, Kadie!” she said, eyes wide with excitement. She was careful not to react to the way he said that name. “It’s so good to see you, really. I’ve just been so busy, I couldn’t fit you into my schedule.” She put her hand on his and dug her nails in a bit to remove it from her shoulder. “A chat? Sure, totally.” She gave him an easy grin, let he know that he didn’t scare her. She was in control here. She was in charge. Especially after everything that had happened with Arthur earlier. “What ya wanna talk about, hot stuff?”

“A lot, actually,” Kaden replied with a smirk. “I’d say I missed you but that’d be a lie. And I’m an honest man. I would never lie to you like that.” The nails in his hand were nothing. If she wanted to inflict pain, she’d have to try harder. Not that he planned to encourage her, this was the same woman who stabbed and shot him. Sill, it wasn’t like he didn’t endure cat scratches on a near daily basis. He hardly even flinched at the pain. In response, he used his other hand to grab her wrist, gripped it tight, but not enough to break any bones. Hopefully she was aware just how easy it would be. “We can do this the hard way or the easy way, Cordelia. But it’s over. Jig is up. Hope you had a good last night but it’s over.”

“Aw, Kadie, you’re hurting my feelings.” Nadia pouted. But she glared at him as his hand went to her wrist. Out. She needed a way out of this. “Is there a third option, maybe?” She looked around the bar. The bartender had moved away, but she was sure he’d come back if she screamed. She should scream. There was a beer bottle in front of her. A plan, half-assed and half-formed, came into her head. “Night’s hardly even begun, babe.” With her free hand, she smashed the beer bottle over Kaden’s hand, and then she started screaming. “Help! Fuck, please help me!” The dim lights in the bar brightened momentarily with her screams before settling back down, and Nadia did her best to pry Kaden’s hand off of her and move away. If she could make it outside, then she could get away, go to the apartment, and regroup. Maybe this was proof that it was time to leave, time to move on to greener pastures. Like the Bahamas. Or somewhere in Europe.

Kaden was prepared for a fight. He knew she wasn’t going to go quietly, as much as he wished that she might. As much as he didn’t want to damage Nadia’s body too much, he would do what he had to in order to get her to come with him. “Shit!” he cursed as soon as she smashed a bottle on him. So much for having one good hand. He clenched his jaw and held tight to her, pushed past the pain, ignored the blood that was pooling on it, and across his hand. It was possible he was going to break her wrist but he wasn’t going to fucking let go, not if he could help it. Shattered glass? Funny that she tried. He was dating a banshee. Shattered glass was nothing new. “Nadia Diaz,” he shouted over her. “You’re under arrest for theft, assault, and attempted homicide.” He pulled out his badge to show the room, just in case, along with his handcuffs. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” She tried to run, almost slipped from his hand, but he reached out and cuffed her bruised and possibly broken wrist before he continued. ”You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.” Say what she wanted, he was still a fucking cop and the badge was real so she could fucking try him. “We can make this easy. Or we can make this hard,” he reiterated, trying to lead her to the door.”

“You really wanna do this?” Nadia gasped out, teeth gritted against the pain in her wrist as Kaden pulled her hands behind her back. “You wanna play the cop card?” What kind of fucking game was this asshole playing, anyway? Arresting her? Sure, whatever. She’d been arrested before. He was doing more harm than good, speaking Nadia’s name and charges out into existence among these people. There was no help to be had, just anticipation and curiosity as the bar’s patrons watched on. The badge seemed to have the same effect in warding people off from helping as salt warded a ghost from a room.. She was alone in this, and it’d be easier to just go with him. “How are you gonna deal with this, huh?” She asked quietly as she let him lead her away, craning her head back to look at him. There was a knife on his belt. She would remember that. “Get your little empath back and what? Now everybody here thinks she’s a murderer. Or did you not think this through?” She went rigid and stopped moving, forcing him to stop as well, however momentary. “Why don’t you just let me go, Langley? Instead of fucking up what’s left of Nadia Diaz’s life?”

“I really don’t but I’ll do what I have to. This is ending, Cordelia. You’re done,” Kaden said in her ear as he led her out of the bar. Shit, it was almost a power trip watching the way part in the club as they made their way to the door. He didn’t normally pull stunts like this and he definitely didn’t normally do this sort of shit as an animal control officer, but no one in that bar needed to know that. He should try this more often. Once they were outside of the bar, he led her to his animal control truck. It wasn’t exactly the same as a traditional cop car, but it looked more official than his personal truck. He really hoped no one questioned him. Because this sure as shit was far from legal. He ran into her back as she stopped short. Putain. “Really? You think you’re the only one clever enough for a con, Cordy?” He huffed out a laugh and continued to escort her to the passenger seat, swinging the door open. “You think I’m actually taking you to jail? Fuck no. You’re going somewhere much worse.” That was probably stupid to show his hands so soon. He didn’t want to have to knock her out but, shit. He was probably going to have to knock her out. Putain.

“It ends when I fucking say it does,” Nadia snarled. He felt so fucking smug. She wanted to jerk her head up into his nose and break it, but she refrained. She wasn’t going to struggle anymore. She’d have to find another way out of this. “I don’t think you have the brain power to pull off a clever con, dumbass. Even if you don’t take me to jail, you’ve outed your pal as a criminal, a murderer. And I have killed quite a few people in this town, just an FYI.” She slammed her shoulder into Kaden’s chest and grabbed the knife while he was distracted. She’d been picking pockets for years. Taking one knife off of a man’s belt was child’s play. Then she all but fell into the passenger seat, turning back to him with a sneer. “You’re going somewhere much worse,” she mocked. “Cry me a fucking river. You can kick me out and put her back in, but I still win, and I can just find someone else, someone better.” She laughed. “Not that you’d notice if I just stayed though, would you? You didn’t notice for months.” She made her eyes soft, her lips pouty. “Mimes, like, totally suck! Of course we’re friends, Kaden! I’ll totally help you look for your girlfriend! Don’t be so hard on yourself, it’s gonna be okay!” She let her face go blank. “You’re an idiot. An idiot. For all your claims to know her and care for her, you and everyone else were just as fucking obtuse as her goddamn parents. An emotionally constipated girl that she slept with a handful of times figured it out before all of her little friends. You only found me out because I let you.” Nadia looked at Kaden with pure hate, knife gripped tightly in her hands. But she couldn’t use it. She slipped it into the waistband of her pants instead.

“Sure it does.” Kaden didn’t really feel like arguing with her. It hardly seemed worth it. He wouldn’t have to argue with her for too much longer. “Have I? Really? To one bar, one bartender? I have a feeling that’s not going to matter much. I don’t have any evidence. Really a shame no one was able to hold Nadia. What a trage-” He let out an ouf as she slammed into his chest. He made sure his hold on her didn’t loosen for too long and she didn’t make a run for it. Thankfully, she slid into the passenger seat without too much argument. It was about as good a scenario as he could hope for considering. His face steeled as he watched her try to play him some more. She looked like Nadia but the more she spoke, the clearer it was that this was all Cordelia. “I didn’t notice, you’re right. But I know now. So it doesn’t matter how in the fuck any of found out. Really it was your mistake for not leaving town when you had a chance.” Once, she had been able to use her words to twist his heart, tug on his strings. Not anymore. “You know, you really need to get a new routine. This one’s getting stale.” Too bad she wasn’t going to get a chance. He pulled out a taser before slamming the door and heading around to the driver’s seat. Just in case he couldn’t deal with her bullshit babbling anymore.

Rolling her eyes, Nadia slumped down into the seat and watched him go to the driver’s side. There it was. Panic. Not his, either, but hers, purely hers. It made her heart beat frantically. Her breath came out in short puffs as the temperature in the car lowered even further. This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t. It couldn’t. She should have just kicked herself out of Nadia Diaz’s body when she had the chance, left it in a ditch somewhere. But then she wouldn’t have been able to have any fun. She should have left the moment he hurt her wrist and shoved her in the fucking truck, but there was the chance that he would make it back to Nadia in time for her to reclaim her body and, no, she wasn’t going to have that. She wasn’t. Not if she couldn’t get it back, not if it wasn’t hers. She’d put a lot of time and effort into this body, goddammit. She wasn’t going to lose it like this. She’d get rid of it her way or no way at all. “Fuck you,” she said, keeping her eyes on him and the taser, but she didn't say it loudly, and she didn’t struggle. Fine. Let him think that they’d won. Whatever. She couldn’t wait to watch him regret this, even if it was the last thing that she did.

#writing #wickedswriting #chatzy #nadia #notia #humanmoodring #when the party's over

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kajsa-writes-sometimes · 3 years

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Chp. II: Miss Amanda Pailey

The door closes behind her. A dejected sigh left her lips as she pulled the cloak closer around her shoulders. Apparently not a single soul in the entire city hadn't read about her recent fiasco. Mrs. Milligan had caught her up just as she was about to leave the house and told her that she shouldn't fear losing her job. They had always been very fond of her and what the critics wrote about her book wouldn't sway their opinion of her, but - here Mrs. Milligan made a point out of giving her hand a tight squeeze - Mr. Milligan didn't want his children to get any ideas so if she could avoid bringing her personal views into the tutoring of the siblings, they would appreciate it.

Angelina shook her head and brushed an imaginary dust pellet off her dress. She had promised not to bring up the content of her writings while under the Milligan's roof, and then Mrs. Milligan had sent her off with a big smile and a small purse containing her fee.

The Milligan siblings had been under her tutoring since the previous summer, and she had had the pleasure of teaching the little scoundrels the basics of the written language, algebra, and sewing (although the latter of the three was restricted to the sister).

The Milligans moved to the city less than a generation ago, and both the parents still bore a gruff air about them. Mr. Milligan's hands were still large and ruff from numerous hours of hard labor, and Mrs. Milligan lacked the refinement of someone who had been born into old money. For Angelina (and probably the rest of the world too) it was painfully clear that the Milligans were nothing but a good impersonation of a well-off family.

For Angelina it made little difference. In actuality, she had little opinion of her employer as long as they paid her fee on time, and didn't fire her out of fear for what being associated with her name might mean for the family's good name.

As she turned down a narrow street, the clocks struck six o'clock and she could have cursed herself had she had the breath to do so. When the first chime sounded, she spread up in the hopes that she might beat the nature of time. The fifth stroke resonated between the yellow brick houses as she turned into the stairway of her friend's pensionate.

"I'm terribly sorry I'm late," she gasped as soon as the door opened. "Mrs. Milligan insisted we talk just as I was about to leave!"

"Don't fret about it, Angie. If I didn't know you by now, I think we should reevaluate our friendship. We have, after all, known each other for eight years."

Miss Amanda Pailey pulled her into the tiny, but cozy rooms and helped her friend get out of the cape.

"I know, I know- you are right as always, my dear," Angelina said as she straightened her back.

As Amanda ordered her friend to take a seat on a light red shasilong, she pulled together a tray of sandwiches and hot pies she had bought just that afternoon. It had been almost half a month since the friends had seen eachother last and much had happened for them both.

As the two young ladies nibbled away on their dinner, they both took the opportunity to look over the other. Angelina thought her friend looked as if she was glowing: her hair looked healthier and there was only the shadow of sleeplessness in her face. Amanda on the other hand couldn't help but notice how her friend's dress seemed almost half a size too big for her frame, and how her cheekbones stood out even clearer than they should.

"Please tell me you are eating probably," Amanda said as she lifted another pie onto her friend's plate.

"Always so worried about me. I'm eating all I can."

"Don't forget I know you well, and eating all you can is definitely not the same as eating enough."

Angelina avoided her friend's gaze as she took another bite of the pie. A sweet taste filled her mouth, and a soft moan escaped her against her will.

"Is it honey glazed pork with mashed potatoes?" she asked her friend.

"Well, at that price I wouldn't trust it being pork, but yes. I got an extra in the bag, and you are taking it home."

"I couldn't possibly-" Angelina started, but she was cut off.

"And I won't take no for an answer. I'm getting married in three months and I wouldn't want my bridesmaid to look like a walking corpse now, would I?"

Happy for the easy escape, Angelina grabbed the mention of her friend's wedding to guide the attention away from herself.

"So how is it going with your Mr. Harrington?"

"We've found a church with a kind, young priest who is willing to wed us. It's just down Almond Street. You must have seen it when you go round that way. I admit it looks rather dull from the outside, but the vicar has set a date and promised that the organist will play what we ask of him as long as it's nothing unseemly."

"Have you thought about where you are going to live after the ceremony? I doubt Mr. Harrington would be welcome here," Angelina asked.

"We haven't yet, but Pete is looking for pensinates that we can afford that will let us live together." Amanda sent her friend a small smile laden with all the sadness that her friend newingered just beneath the surface.

"You'll find something, I promise," she said, but both women were well aware that she was in no position to uphold her promise.

"Now we are on the topic of the future, how is your novel coming along?"

Amanda rose from her place and took the tray out. Angelina turned her head and rested an arm on the back of the chaiselong so she could watch her friend prepare a pot of tea.

They were a few years apart, but in the eight years their friendship had lasted, it had never been a problem. In all honesty there really wasn't that much of a difference between being twenty one and twenty three years old.

The greatest difference was the fact that Amanda had been engaged to Mr. Pete Harrington for the last three and a half year, and that Angelina had only ever had the irregular fling and known the fleeting butterflies of a summer's love. Angelina knew that if Amanda had had any say in the matter, they would have been happily married a long time ago, but her aunt had insisted the young man who had claimed the heart of her niece prove that he would be able to provide for his wife before they entered wedlock.

Three years later Mr. Pete Harrington had a job that had in prestige what it lacked in excitement. After having worked at an office in town for half a year and a half, Mr. Harrington had been hired by the University. A year later he had gotten a permanent position as the head secretary of the University Enrollment Office, and although Hemwick University wasn't as well known as Oxford, it attracted students from all across Europe. With the job secured Amanda and Mr. Harrington had once more approached Amanda's aunt and she had finally given the young couple her blessing. Now it was a matter of months before the wedding, and Amanda would be known as Mrs. Harrington by the age of twenty three.

"Well, you've got nothing to say? That doesn't seem like you," Amanda said as she returned to her seat.

"I'm terribly sorry, but my mind seems to be all over the place these days," Angelina shrugged as she thought about the Duke's letter that still lay on the table next to her typewriter. "It appears that there is no one who hasn't heard about my recent flob, and half the world seems keen to remind me that I have chosen a path not suited for young women."

"I'm truly sorry to hear so, but we both know that is not what is bothering you," Amanda said and fixed a curl that had escaped her intricate hairdo.

Angelina rose to her feet and started walking in circles on the floor. Writhing her hands in front of her, she considered if she should tell her friend about her correspondence with the Duke. None of them lived under the assumption that they told each other everything, but the length of their relationship meant that they shared most things.

Maybe a light version of the truth would do? She stopped in the middle of the floor and met her friend's warm, brown eyes.

"I received a letter, you see, from a reader who wanted to tell me how much he enjoyed my work."

Amanda lifted the cup to her lips wondering where this story would lead. She couldn't see what her friend found so upsetting about a from an admirer of her work.

"And I'm somewhat afraid that I might have offended him with my reply to his letter."

"Would it be so bad if you have offended this man?"

"I fear so. He has a good reputation and if he decided to smear my book, it could end my career faster than you would need to make a cup of tea!"

Angelina made something that resembled but wasn't quite a pirouette on the spot.

"Oh, wouldn't the critics love it if I should put down my pen and return to the quiet life of an upstanding woman!"

"They probably would, but I doubt you have anything to fear. I am sure you fret for nothing, and that he will be so awestruck by the reply you send him that he'll have no time to be offended." Amanda rose and placed a hand on her friend's upper arm. "Now let's sit down and I'll tell you how the wedding planning is going. That is sure to take your mind off things."

And so the two young women once more took a seat, and for an evening some of the tension left Angelina's shoulders. As she walked home later that night, she almost succeeded at convincing herself that she would soon return to her daily life with no more interruptions in the form of handwritten letters on cream coloured paper.

The entire story can be found on Wattpad as I slowly update or by following the links in this master post

#the true story of a poor writer and her unwanted patron #kajsa writes #my writings #historical fiction #original fiction #original #oc #writeblr #writing #writblr #my writing #original writing

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captainjimothycarter · 4 years

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can u do another peggy is tony’s birth mom but from a 1 night stand w/ Howard (maybe she’s wasted or up 2 u, resulting n a late n life pregnancy. Howard and Maria adopt him b/c of reasons (up 2 u)

Hopefully, this is what you imagined! Just a warning, abortion is mentioned several times

Things just happened.

Peggy isn’t sure how point A and point B ended up together to make this triangle sort of events, but here they are. Here she is, sitting on the bathroom floor of her new office in DC, staring at the positive pregnancy test.

She was filled with some complex emotions that she didn’t know where to start with first. Frustration for herself? Angry at herself for letting her guard drop? For not thinking at the moment, no excuse of alcohol in her system despite it was a reason to celebrate. How could she be so stupid?

A pregnancy was dangerous to her in general, the doctors had told her when she had the distant thought of wanting to start a family. Shrapnel from an explosive had cut through her lower stomach, tearing through several important organs. She told me she had almost died on the table twice during surgery and pregnancy was out of her future if she wanted to see the ripe age of at least fifty.

That reality had hurt, the idea that she couldn’t get pregnant without risking her health, but Peggy had packed away the pain as she always did to visit on a rainy day. She made peace with this reality. She threw herself into her work. She focused on the tasks at hand with the SSR, Howard, Leviathan, Howard, Whitney Frost, Michael, Howard, Shield, and Howard.

It’s not that Peggy didn’t want kids, she loved kids. She just never found herself the mothering type, even as a child. She would rather roll around in the dirt, get her dress dirty, and play pirate than to learn how to take care of a baby doll or even sew [even if that skill would come in hand at a much later date in her life]. Her mother had frowned upon the idea, told her that she would never get a husband, that no man would want her, and even as a child, a teenager, she shrugged it off.

She lived for no man.

The problem wasn’t the pregnancy so much, she could deal with the pregnancy if she was to keep the child. Was it even too late? Too dangerous to abort? Surely her medics at SHIELD could think of something. The main problem lied in her job. A pregnancy meant things on hold because of the danger of the situation. A pregnancy meant no more field missions, a pregnancy meant she was exposing herself as a weakness to the world by carrying a child. Especially this late in life.

Then there was the fact of actually birthing this child. Of raising it. Could she even do it? Did she even want to?

She felt guilty for even thinking no. Not that she wouldn’t love the child, she was sure she would, but looking in his face? Seeing who the father was made her sick. How could she do that to Maria?

It wasn’t just that. It was exposing a child to the daily life of leading Shield would result in the child being in danger, expanses she wasn’t sure they could afford to be stretched to protect the child too.

No, she couldn’t go through with this. For the better good of herself, of the world. The best she could do was get an abortion and move on, put it all behind her, and tuck this into the nice little box to visit on a rainy day.

“I’m afraid no,” the doctor with gray eyes and a mole on his cheek sighed at her, tapping the clipboard on his arm. “Going by your lab results and your history, it’s far too late to do as you ask. If there’s an emergency, then yes, we can risk it, but given your age and your medical history, there are ways around the main risks with constant monitoring.”

That’s not what Peggy wanted to hear. She expected it was far too late. How long had she been sick and put it off as just stress? Nausea, vomiting, heartburn. She just chucked it up to the lack of self-care. Now, it was coming to bite her in the ass.

She could press if she wanted to, she knew that. There would be some doctor in some part of this city to say yes, but part of her was relieved. She didn’t want to. She wanted some excuse, to put reasoning behind this budding guilt in her that she had to do it for her health.

Now she had to carry to term for her health too.

And maybe there’s a chance she lied on the forms, on the questions, her subconscious told her. Her period had been far earlier, the date of conception had been different. In reality, she wanted to keep this child that was now growing inside of her and had been for some time.

So pregnancy was dangerous in both her late age and her war-torn body, but it was doable. She should be upset, raging, storming off to find another doctor. So why did she feel so relieved?

And where in the hell was Howard Stark?

The answer was her office. Helping himself to a tall whiskey, a sour look on his face that had nothing to do with the glass in hand. She rolled her eyes as she marched inside, snatching the bottle and glass from him to put it out of his reach. The smell made her stomach roll.

“Tastes like shit anyway, all watered down,” Howard grumbled, scrubbing a hand over his salt and peppered hair. He set Peggy with a hard look, eyes dropping instantly down to her belly and back up to her. “So, when were you gonna tell me? Why did I have to find out through Shield gossip that you’re pregnant?”

This is not how she wanted to do this.

Peggy sighed as she shut the door, instructing her secretary Rose to please push her meetings back by an hour. She sat behind the desk and slipped her heels off, feet already starting to swell in them.

“I only found out today.” At Howard’s look, the brunette sighed and leaned back in her chair. “I’m serious, Howard. It’s not like I would keep this from you! I only found out today and took that pregnancy test on a complete whim. I already went to medical and I’m too far along to consider...anything but carrying it to term.”

Howard was still giving her a funny look, turning the information over in his head.

“Whose the father?”

The silence stretched between them as she stared at him, turning that night over in her head. Plenty of drinks. Celebration. He had kissed her.

“You are.”

Howard’s face paled of all color, making the dark strands in his hair and mustache stand out. He’d aged as they all had, carrying SHIELD and Stark Industries on his back. More recently he’s been talking about diving into weapon trade, and designing weapons for more than just SHIELD to create a steady income and a good source to fall back on. She’d voiced her displeasure but until she saw the proof, there was nothing she could do.

“You’re serious,” he sighed, dropping his face into his hands. “I thought...I thought…”

“We did.” It had been a wild night. She’d just made Director. Phillips had officially passed the mantle on to her and she’d just moved to the office in DC. It had been a private celebration between them, to honor the falling as well. Her thoughts had faded back to Steve when he kissed her. And maybe it was the loneliness that had crowded in on her at night, or the illusion that she was drunk, or the fact that Howard, despite all her reserve to admit it, he was a good kisser. Regardless, it had happened.

She’d woken up to Howard gone from her bed, the memory of that night filling her mind. He’d left shortly after looking smug as he used to in his young age when he’d bed someone. Not just smug, he looked...relieved, almost longing in those eyes. She had fooled herself to think so, too desperate for human contact she denied herself.

“And,” Peggy continued. “We need to tell Maria.” Howard looked just as panicked as she felt but she shook her head, continuing firm. “I will not lie to my friend about this, Howard. She deserves to know how we both screwed up.”

Maria was a beautiful woman and quick to wit, never afraid to put Howard in his place. It was one of the many reasons Peggy had liked her from the start. She helped them out plenty of times, no matter if it was three in the morning, she stumbled in with a bleeding shoulder from a stray bullet or just to gossip about her day. She could pick up the signs that no one else noticed or well ignored.

Peggy liked her, loved how good she was for Howard, and hated this reality.

“You’re pregnant,” Maria said the second the pair had sat down for their earlier-than-usual afternoon tea. She held the cup in hand, looking at Peggy over the steaming rim. “And it’s Howard’s.”

Peggy blinked, feeling her body run cold. Feeling sick to her stomach from more than just the smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen. All she could do was nod, eyes dropping down to her steaming cup. Maria had purposely fixed her ginger tea.

“How did you know?” She finally asked when she found her voice.

The woman shrugged, a smile curling on her lips was the last thing Peggy had expected. She should be angry, she had every right to be. Not only did her husband cheat on her, but he cheated on her with her friend.

“You’ve been sick for a few weeks now, complaining of lack of sleep, but a lady knows.” Her hand moved to cover the back of Peggy’s, giving a gentle squeeze. “As for how I know it’s Howard’s… He told me. I know underneath it, he’s sorry. He’s sorry for putting your life at risk, our marriage. I’m not angry, I should be but… You were always the exception to him. He loves you, Peggy, to a degree that is not the same as he loves me. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no competition between you and me for his love, but it’s there. And I’m not mad about it. I’m glad that you’re okay.”

Peggy was not a crier. She’s never broken into tears, hysterically sobbed before. Yes, maybe in times of stress. Maybe during the war a time or two or when she forced herself to say goodbye to Steve far before she was ready, but never now. Yet she did cry, holding onto Maria who, bless this woman, was calming her down.

Nine months later, Anthony Micheal Stark was born.

The pregnancy had been an easy one to Peggy’s relief. She had managed to hide the pregnancy for as long as she could. She took maternity leave straight away, working from home when the pregnancy abled her. When it came time to give birth, she opted for a c-section to avoid the unnecessary process, even if that meant another scar on her body.

He was beautiful. Brown eyes. Black hair. Screaming on top of his lungs. Her heart ached for him. Yet, as Peggy looked at this bundle of joy in her arms, the way he held onto her finger and smiled, her life was not meant for him.

She could provide, yes but, she couldn’t trust herself to be there for him as a mother should. It’s why she made the difficult decision to give Anthony up for option - to entrust him to be cared for by Howard and Maria.

It might be a reminder of what happened, as will the scar that will always be on her body, but Peggy could keep a secret. She’d know they would love him in the same manner that she did.

“Are you sure?” Maria asked one night, a hand over Peggy’s belly. “You don’t have to say yes, just because Howard-”

“I’m sure, Maria. You and Howard will give Anthony a loving home. I couldn’t entrust him with anyone better,” Peggy sighed, feeling Anthony’s foot collide with the underside of her hand.

It seemed like Anthony agreed.

This was the best choice she could make for all of them, the difficult choice, but the best one to ensure Anthony had the future he deserved.

#HowardPeggy #Pregnant Peggy Carter #Nonny Prompt #Writing Prompt #Peggy Carter Prompt #Peggy is Tony's bio mother

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