lifeisaboutperspective-blog

[echthr0s]

oooo I get it. it's called 2001 because it feels 2001 minutes long. like what the actual fuck was all of that

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-Chapter Twenty Nine

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit.

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut(18+), star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse, talks of death, depressive thoughts, talks about not being able to conceive, and endometriosis.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: So what originally was supposed to be a super long chapter, I decided to cut it in half! So JP will end with Chapter Thirty-one! Also, this chapter speaks HEAVILY on endometriosis and not being able to conceive so please, read with caution if that may be a sensitive topic for you. 🖤

Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @dsireland86 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @exitwoundsx @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @princesspeach-00 @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @teenblues @malice-ov-mercy @krisslee18 @xxkittenkissesxx @happi-goth @embracethereaper42 @softvgold @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-me @bloody-delusion-expert @respectfulrebel @reader13000 @koskeepsake @malerieee @cheyyyyr @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @jessiskyee @a1ex-ba1ex @sideeyenoah @emzandthevoid @badomensls @bellaboo967 @waake-mee-up @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @cncohshit @amelia-acero @karenfranco @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @bleachampion @thepastelfae @supersquirrel1996 @madomens @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715

THIS IS FICTION. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.

READER

I paced the entire bathroom while muttering under my breath and cracking my fingers nervously. My heart was beating so fast, I felt like it could explode out of my chest like one of those aliens in that one movie Davis made me watch last night. I grasped at my chest underneath my shirt, desperately hoping the pounding would stop. 

This was the longest five minutes of my life. 

I peeked at the timer on my phone and sighed; two minutes and 12 seconds left to go. 

Weeks of feeling sick and sheer exhaustion had been nothing new for me, especially with my endometriosis. But there was something new that had me in this current position of nervousness. 

My period was late. I’d always been regular, every month if falling either on the same day or two days difference but never this late. 

Two weeks late. 

My bottom lip was raw from how hard I’d been chewing on it and my feet ached from how fast I was pacing the space of the cold bathroom; Noah made sure to set the A/C to a chilled 66 degrees before he left this morning. Our plans of meeting had been pushed back by an hour because of my last minute decision. I knew he was wondering where I was since I heard his text tone while the timer had been going. 

Excitement filled my veins because of the small idea that our future together could finally get the thing we both secretly wanted. Something that would make us complete. 

I rested a hand over my stomach as I stared down at the timer on my phone. 

5. 

4. 

3.

2.

1.

Quickly hitting the cancel button, I took a deep breath and slowly reached for the overturned test on the bathroom counter. So many different thoughts ran through my mind; names, genders, color schemes for the nursery, who they would look like, and how loved they would be. 

Negative. 

I blinked slowly at the words on the pregnancy test, feeling my heart drop down to the depths way below my stomach. All the happiness I felt for possibly overcoming the hard parts of my endometriosis shattered in pieces around me. The prospect of a life that was never meant to be mine was ripped from my hands before I even had a chance to grasp it. 

Tears welled up in my eyes as I blew out a shaky breath, doing whatever I could not to let the negative test break me. I should have expected it, women like me with these issues can't get pregnant. A baby and family with Noah wasn’t meant for me. 

Kuma came bounding into the bathroom, shaking off the excess fur that had been littering the ground lately causing Noah to run to the store the other day to buy a Roomba. 

Letting the test fall to the bathroom counter, I reached down to pet Kuma between the ears and sniffled away my tears. 

“Hey bud. Ready to go?” 

With a wag of his tail and a bark, he followed me closely as I went about the bedroom now, gathering my things. I was going to drop Kuma off at his favorite dog daycare on my way to meet Noah at the location for the next Bad Omens music video shoot.

Noah. 

Pausing in the middle of my bedroom with one arm in my jacket and the other pulling up my leggings, I reached for my phone that was placed on the bed. 

Mochi 🍡: I sat in the chair for almost six hours to look like this so when you walk in, you better still love me.

Attached to the text was a picture of Noah, one that made me let out a small yell of surprise. 

Me: Woah, is this what I have to look forward to in the future? If so, sign me up.

Mochi 🍡: All yours for as long as you want, angel. 

Even through the pain and utter feeling of loss, I broke out in a small smile. 

Me: Hm, forever seems good to me.

Mochi 🍡: Ditto. 

After sending him a text to letting him know I’d be there soon, I finished getting dressed and walked into the kitchen with Kuma trotting behind to see Michael giving himself a pep talk in the reflection of the patio door that led out to the backyard. 

“I thought you would have left by now?” I asked.

He smoothed out his hair and adjusted his jacket. “I would have but I’m so fucking nervous. I’ve been on dates before so I’m not sure why this one has me shaking.” 

“Because you like her, Michael. You’ve been talking almost every night. She’s waited almost a month of you taking things slow to ask her out. Lori wants this just as much as you do,” I said while ruffling his hair and scurrying away before he could retaliate. 

As I reached the front door and clipped on Kuma’s leash, I noticed Tay coming down the stairs. 

“Hey, you still don’t mind picking up Kuma from daycare tonight, right? I’m not sure how long I’ll be at this shoot.”

She eagerly smiled while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Definitely! Jesse and I were planning on taking him to this cute little dog cafe downtown if that’s alright?” 

It was my turn to nod. “He would love that.” 

“Everything alright?” Tay questioned while raising a brow. “You look like you’re about to cry.” 

Blinking rapidly, I cleared my throat and averted my gaze down to the ground. “Just tired. Noah’s been gone the last couple of days for this shoot. I don’t sleep well without him.”

Tay sighed while grabbing both of my hands, forcing me to look at her. “You can talk to me, you know that right?” 

Pulling my lips in a thin line, I nodded. “Ye-yeah. I know. I promise I’m fine.” 

Before she could say anything else, Jesse emerged from the back yard through the kitchen patio doors where he had been cutting the grass; shirtless. Tay’s attention was immediately averted towards him which I used as my opportunity to slip away. 

Waving goodbye to them, I put on a brave face and prepared myself to shift into work mode, hiding the pain behind the smile on my face. 

NOAH

I bounced on the soles of my feet, excitedly waiting for Y/N to arrive. My one gloved hand was shoved deep in my coat pocket while the other was out as I stared down at the makeup that went into making it look old and wrinkled; along with my face. We never had plans to make a music video for Just Pretend but with how it blew up over night on Tik Tok and we realized how much people love the song, we knew it had to be done. 

Just Pretend was mine and Y/N’s song, something that was meant for the two of us. But my mind immediately began to run with ideas on how we could make the music video work for our Concrete Jungle universe. Thankfully, she was on board with the entire idea even though she was a bit worried about her being in the music video with me. 

“It’s just your arm and bracelet, angel. No one will see your face.”

“Five minutes, Noah!”

Glancing over my shoulder towards Erik, I nodded. “Y/N’s almost here.” 

Erik Rojas nodded with a sly smile before looking back at the computer monitor, going over what we had shot yesterday with the younger couple in the music video. I worked from 8 in the morning to nearly midnight and by the time I got home and crawled into bed next to Y/N, she was fast asleep. This morning, I left even earlier with a kiss to her forehead. For nearly six hours, I sat in a chair so the make up department could age me by sixty years. 

“Well, who’s this handsome fellow?” 

Turning on my heels, my heart soared into my chest when I saw Y/N walk through the door of the building we were shooting the video in, her usual glow behind her; one that I immediately noticed was muted gray, darkness creeping in. 

“Are you alright?” I questioned while cupping her cheek with my gloved hand. 

Her face faltered, only for a moment, before she gave me a bright yet forced smile. “I’m tired, that’s all. I can’t sleep without you.”

The pain was evident behind her smile. I parted my lips to ask her again but Y/N was quick to change the subject. 

“So this is what old Noah looks like, huh?” She tapped my wrinkled cheek before scrunching up her face in disgust at the large premade stain of my white shirt. “How bad is it bothering you that you can’t wash that?” 

I groaned while letting my eyes shut. “So bad.”

We both shared a laugh as I brought her into my embrace, catching her wrist with my gloved hand. “Did you wear your bracelet?” 

Motioning towards her caught wrist, I pulled down the sleeve of her jacket to see the silver chain around her. 

“I never take it off, Noah. You know that.”

All I could do was nod, the festering feeling of Y/N hiding something from me was a storm inside of me. We always talked to each other about things that were bothering us so it upset me that she tried to keep this to herself. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, I could read her like a book and she was the part where the main character was about to do something drastic to keep their secrets. Knowing that now wasn’t the best time to bring it up, I averted the subject for the time being. 

“Does this old man get a kiss from his best girl?” 

Y/N hummed while stepping on the tips of her toes and brushed a kiss across my lips. It was one that was barely felt, gone before it registered in my brain. Something unlike her. 

“Angel,” I began but she was swiftly called over by the make up department, needing to get her ready for her part of the music video. 

Giving them a nod, she turned back towards me to ruffle my hair. “I’ll see you in a bit, mochi.” 

She slipped through my fingers like a ghost, further creating distance between me; physically and spiritually. My gaze lingered on her, long after she was gone, and I tried hard not to let the worry I felt for her cloud my mind today. We still had a lot of work to get done on this music video. 

“Noah, you ready?” One of the assistants helping out Erik called over to me from his position next to the old chair surrounded by monitors. 

“One second,” I said while pulling out my phone and clicking on the ‘House Boy’s’ group chat. 

Me: Did Y/N seem weird to you guys this morning?

Michael: Nope. She gave me shit about being nervous for my date with Lori. 

That was normal for her. 

Jesse: Tay said when she ran into Y/N before she left, it looked like she was about to cry. 

My head snapped up from my phone down to the hallway where Y/N had just walked down moments before. 

She was crying?

Me: Something seems off with her. I tried to talk to her about it but she blew it off. 

Jesse: I’m sure she doesn’t want to ruin the mood for the shoot. Maybe try talking to her about it again later? 

I sighed, knowing that Jese was right. Both Y/N and I were professionals when it came to our work; here wasn’t the place for a conversation that could potentially lead to her crying. 

Me: You’re right. 

Me: Also, Michael, can you feed Salem? I noticed his food bin was empty but didn’t have time to refill it on my way out this morning. We keep the extra bags in our bathroom closet. 

Michael: That’s a weird place to keep extra bags of cat food. But sure. I’ll do it for my bud Salem.

Pocketing my phone with a breath, I shifted into work mode and spent the next little while filming my part of the video; finger pressing the button of the remote in my hand and clawing at the tube in my throat. It was pretty easy and went smoothly. By the time I finished, Y/N had returned dressed in a white cardigan sweater and her left arm done with the special effect make-up, her bracelet sparking under the low light of the set as I sat up from the chair. 

“I still think we should have aged you by sixty years so we could match,” I joked as she reached me. 

“Will you read to me by the ocean when I’m old and gray?” She teased while pulling me closer by my own sweater to press a kiss to my lips.  

“Until our last dying breath,” I vowed with all the seriousness in my voice. 

Our eyes met in a fiery trance, neither of us wanting to break it first and the longer we stared at each other, I could see the light slowly beginning to ignite behind hers once again. The light that was her halo, however, was still flickering. 

“Are you ready for your big moment?” I asked as we began walking down the long hallway towards the made up hospital room where Y/N would be. 

She snorted while linking our fingers together, hands beginning to sway between us. “All I have to do is lay there while the doctors try to save my life. Just show the bracelet and make sure it looks pretty.” 

I pulled us to a stop in the hallway, twirling her around and pulling her into my chest; her laughter echoing all around us. 

“That shouldn’t be too hard for you because you’re always pretty,” I winked before capturing her lips into a kiss. 

This one had a bit more force than the last but I could still tell something was bothering her. It pained me that I wasn’t able to talk to her about it because it was evident that something happened this morning before she left the house, something pretty important that she felt the need to keep hidden. 

My phone buzzed three times in the pocket of my pants but I ignored it, deciding to keep Y/N in my arms just a few seconds longer. She brushed away a few strands of hair from my face. 

“I can’t get over how good you look,” she breathed over my lips before pushing away from me and following Erik into the room at the end of the hall. 

With a cheeky smile, I walked back towards where I was previously sitting in the chair with the monitors around me. The plan was for me to wake up from my memory core dreaming when the memory of my younger love was dying and follow the doctors down the hall to where old Y/N was laying in the bed dying. 

My phone buzzed again in my pocket as I sat back down in the chair and when I fished it out of my pants, I gave a confused furrow of brows at Michael’s missed call and texts. 

Three of them, in fact. 

Michael:  DUDE WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING YOUR PHONE. 

Michael: Has Y/N said anything to you more about what was bothering her?

Michael: I fed Salem by the way. 

Knowing I only had a few minutes before we needed to start shooting again, I quickly typed up a response. 

Me: No she hasn’t. She seemed fine now when I was talking to her. I think whatever was bothering her, she’s over it now. 

Michael: You sure about that?

“What?” I muttered under my breath. 

Me: What the fuck do you know? 

I couldn’t wait for his response because soon Erik poked his head into the room. “We’re about ready.” 

Tossing my phone over to Bryan who had been on the set with us taking pictures, I pointed to him. “If I get another text from Michael, will you let me know?” 

He nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

Even though my mind was whirling from Michael’s texts, I did my best to not let it affect me. All we had left was a few hours of this music video shoot and then once we were back home, I could talk to Y/N about what the hell was bothering her. 

READER

Stifling a yawn behind my hand, I dragged my feet up the freshly cut lawn towards the front door, ready to put an end to the very long and exhausting day. The darkness of the night sky blanketed over me, bringing a chill to my bones. The thought of being able to wash away today and crawl into bed brought a small smile to my lips, although it never reached my eyes. 

Glancing over my shoulder towards my car, I expected Noah to be following behind me but I frowned when I remembered he stayed back on set for a couple of reshoots he and Erik wanted to do. Pulling out my phone, I sent him a quick text. 

Me: I made it home. I’m going to shower and get some sleep. Please don’t be too late, I miss sleeping next to you for more than a few hours. 

Noah responded before I even had a chance to pocket my phone. 

Mochi 🍡: I’m actually leaving now. Erik is forcing me to leave since I’ve been here since 8 this morning. Save me some hot water? I need to scrub this glue shit off my face.

Smirking, I stepped through the unlocked front door while typing away my message. 

Me: Better yet, I’ll wait for you to shower. Save water, you know?

I wasn’t able to see Noah’s response because I jumped, nearly dropping my phone when my eyes landed on the figure sitting in the corner of the barley lit living room. His eyes darker than the cloud that had been hovering over me all day and I took a large step back against the wall behind me, clutching my chest. 

“Please tell me you told him,” Michael sat up in his chair, elbows on his knees. 

I swallowed thickly while adjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder. “I need to take Kuma out.” 

I made it all of two steps before he rose from his spot, his deep voice stopping me in my tracks. 

“Did you tell Noah?” He repeated again, this time more stern than the last. 

“What are you talking about?” I semi snapped, turning towards him. 

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N.” Michael scoffed while resting his hands on his hips. “I found it.”

My face blanched, all the color draining from it and I cleared my throat. “I have no idea-.” 

“Fuck, Y/N. You left it on the bathroom counter!” He exasperated while running a hand through his already disheveled hair. 

“You went into my bathroom?!” My voice was raised as I pinned him with a thin stare. “That’s an invasion of privacy, Michael!” 

The sharpness of his face softened just a fraction with the hardness of my tone so he let out a long sigh. 

“Noah asked me to grab the extra bag of cat food from your bathroom so I could feed Salem. I swear I didn’t touch it but I saw it lying out on the bathroom counter,” he explained. 

Fuck. 

I remember getting distracted with Kuma this morning so I never threw it out. I left it out on the bathroom counter, out in the open for anyone to see; for Michael to find. 

“Did you tell Noah?” I questioned with a tight grip on the strap of my bag, knuckles turning white. 

Michael shook his head. “No. It’s not my business to tell him. Do you plan to?” 

I let out a staggered breath while shifting all of my weight from one foot to another. I thought about telling Noah about what happened this morning but with how busy we were today, I never found the best time to. And to be frank, the work space wasn’t exactly a perfect scene for this kind of conversation. 

“It’s better he doesn’t know, Michael,” I blew out a shaky breath as the tears welled up in my eyes. 

The walls that I had made to block myself from the dreaded feeling of failure were crumbling, cracks withering deep within my soul. Noah would have been crushed if I told him and the last thing I needed was for him to feel like he was the failure when none of this was his fault. 

It was on me. 

Michael gently took off my bag and set it on the couch before wrapping his arms around me. His familiar embrace brought on the tears, rapidly falling in quick succession and I gripped at the front of the shirt, letting the feeling of my shortcomings and lies overcome me. 

His large hand rubbed at my back. “It’s alright, Y/N.” 

“Why would he want to stay, Michael? I’m broken. Unfixable. He doesn’t deserve that,” my sobs were muted by his gray sweater as I buried my face into Michael’s chest. 

Sympathetic hands lifted my chin so I had no choice but to look into his eyes. 

“You. Are. Not. Broken.” Michale’s word were punctuated by a tender squeeze of my cheeks. 

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t even nod with how from his grip was, so I remained silent. 

“Noah still loves you, even with these flaws you claim to have. You know deep in your heart that he deserves to know the truth because if he finds out another way, it’s going to hurt him even more than you keeping it a secret,” Michael said. 

I did my best to nod. “I-I know.”

“Good,” he kissed the top of my head in a protective brother sort of way. “I’m sorry if I came at you like a dick. It wasn’t my intention.” 

I gave him one final hug before pulling away. “It’s alright. You were just worried about Noah. I’ll tell him. I just need time to process everything. I haven’t had a chance to breathe and mourn the idea.” 

Michael nodded. “Understandable. Just don’t want too long, okay?” 

“I won’t,” I sniffled. 

With one final hug, I made my way through the kitchen down the long hallway towards my bedroom, with the sole intent of cleaning up the mess from earlier. As I stepped through the threshold, my aching heart doubled in size at what I saw. Salem and Kuma both curled up on the bed. Kuma had his large paw on top of Salem’s back, almost as if he was keeping him in place on the bed. 

With a faint smile, I pulled out my phone to snap a picture just as Noah came barreling through the door seconds behind me; Salem and Kuma jumping from the sudden noise. 

“Fuck!” I clutched at my heart, it beating hard in my chest. 

Noah’s almond eyes were bright with excitement even with all the prosthetic glue stuck to his face still. 

“Guess what?!” He asked while gripping my elbows. 

I giggled at him as he gently shook me. “You can say avocado correctly?” 

His smile faltered only for a fraction of a second. “You’re lucky we're in a time crunch otherwise I’d bend you over the bed and smack your ass for being a smart ass.”

Swallowing thickly, I managed to ask him what he was so excited about. 

“Courtney called me while on my way home, I guess their opener for their show tomorrow night can’t make it because their van broke down. She asked if Hollow Souls could open up? The only reason why she called me was because she didn’t have your number.”

My heart was beating so loud in my ears, I thought for a second I misheard him so I had to wave a hand, stopping his rambling. 

“Wait. Courtney as in Spirit Box? She wants my little band to open up for her?” I asked, dumbfounded. 

There was absolutely no way a band like Spirit Box wanted Hollow Souls to open up for them? We weren’t on the same level as them; us farther down the list. 

Noah chuckled while kissing my lips before moving about our room to start packing a bag. “Give yourself some credit, angel. Hollow Souls is one of the biggest metalcore bands right now.” 

“Yeah but-,” the words trailed off as I chipped away at the fading nail polish. 

“Y/N,” he sighed while setting down our matching pair of duffle bags on the bed. “You know Hollow Souls is where they’re at because of all the work you, Chase, and Malcolm have put in. Toot your own horn, angel.” 

My lips curved up in a smile, knowing that he was right. 

“I’m assuming you already told Chase and Malcolm?”

“Yep, they’ll pick us up in an hour. We figured we leave tonight and that way we’re there before soundcheck.”

Nerves ate away at my insides, this being the first time Hollow Souls performed on stage in quite awhile. We did have a future tour planned in a few months so this actually was a good way for us to dip our feet in again. 

“Where’s the show?” I asked while finally starting to pack my own bag, Noah nearly finished with his. 

“Las Vegas. It’s a two night event but they only need us for the first night so I thought we could do something fun while we're out there,” he suggested. 

“Us?” I questioned while zipping up my suitcase. 

Noah smirked, showcasing his pearly whites. “Courtney asked if I could come out during Holy Roller.” 

I quipped a brow. “You guys do know both of you on stage together are going to kill everyone, right?” 

He walked past me, leaving a kiss on my cheek. “Just think of what would happen if we were on stage together.”

I watched in horror as he walked towards the bathroom and I nearly stumbled over my feet to stop him; never having the chance to clean up the pregnancy test I left behind earlier. I beat him to the bathroom seconds before he could walk past the doorway. 

“Uh, I’ll pack up the toiletries. Do you want to make sure that Jesse and Michael are fine with watching Kuma and Salem?” 

Noah tilted his head towards me, confusion etched on his features. “You know they don’t care, angel.” 

I pursed my lips. “Right. But I just want to make sure. Since it’s last minute, I’m not sure if either of them have something already planned.”

If he didn’t believe my words, he made no mention of it. Instead, he nodded before quickly stepping out into the hallway right outside our bedroom, yelling down to the living room. 

“MICHAEL?! CAN YOU WATCH MY KIDS THE NEXT TWO DAYS?” 

Rolling my eyes, I called over my shoulder while scurrying into the bathroom. “I could have just done that!”

“Then why didn’t you!” Noah shot back playfully as I scooped up what was left behind on the counter, forcing myself not to adhere to the rejection, and throwing it into the trash next to the toilet. 

READER

I sat with my back against the headboard, knees pulled up to my chest as my sketchbook lay across my lap. It had been a very long day due to travel, and I only wanted to lay in bed while wallowing in my own failures. We returned back from Vegas earlier this morning, the last four days a whirlwind of emotions that I had yet to process. From the moment Hollow Souls opened up for Spirit Box, to seeing Noah perform next to Courtney, and from running into someone who I spilled all of my secrets to; one who understood.

My fingers were black from the charcoal clutched between them while Kuma lay at the end of the bed and Salem perched on Noah's pillow. I hummed a quiet tune, finding myself deep in the zone that helped keep the moment from last night out of my mind. All of my hopes and dreams were crushed in a matter of minutes and it was something that was still severely affecting me. I made a mistake, one that I was afraid I’d never return from. I refused to let Noah know what happened. It was a secret that I planned on taking with me to my grave. 

"Angel?" 

"Hm?" I answered Noah, not bothering to look away from my sketch. 

"What's this?" He asked, voice stern with anger.

Glancing over to his frame as it stepped out of the bathroom, I sucked in a breath when I saw what he'd been holding. All of the colors drained from my face as the room around us shifted on its axis, everything falling away from me without giving me a chance to grasp it. 

Shit.

My negative pregnancy test. The one I thought I had thrown away before we left; four days ago. 

Swallowing thickly, I set down my sketchbook and sat up straighter. “What is that?” 

Noah’s eyes narrowed in on me as a scoff left his lips. “You tell me. I found it in the bathroom trash can.” 

“Why are you digging through the trash?” I asked, deflecting his curious eyes as I picked at a loose thread of our blanket. 

He rested his hands on his hips, still holding onto the damn test. “I went to empty the bag and noticed the test sitting on top. How long has it been there?” 

“It’s none of your business,” I shook my head, not bothering to meet his gaze anymore, unable to process the look of pure hurt on his delicate features. 

“Bullshit!” Noah spat with such force in his voice, it made my face flinch. “I’m tired of how you’re keeping things from me! It started last night with Joe and now this-!”

He held up his hand, waving the test around. “You don’t get the right to hide something like this from me, Y/N!” 

“I didn’t keep Joe a secret from you! I told you he was there,” I reminded him, still sitting on the bed. 

Kuma and Salem could feel the tension rising but made no effort to leave us. 

“You won’t tell me what you two talked about,” he reiterated, our earlier conversation from the car still lingering between us. 

Last night while we were in Vegas, I ran into Joe in the lobby of the hotel we were staying in. nothing, nowhere had a concert in a few days hence why he was in Vegas. Noah was up in our room, sleeping, and I had come down to get more towels from the front desk. Instead of hurrying back up to Noah, I stayed with Joe catching up on one of the couches in the lobby. I spilled everything to him about my hopes and dreams of a family with Noah to the negative pregnancy test. Joe was there as a shoulder to cry on as I poured my soul out to him, bleeding out and barely holding onto my heart. 

After an hour of conversation, I promised I would keep more in contact with Joe and headed back up to my hotel room, where Noah was still fast asleep. It wasn’t until this morning I brought up that I had run into Joe and spent part of the night talking with him. When he asked what we talked about, I merely told him we just caught up while talking about both of our separate music careers. If Noah caught on that I was lying, he made no mention of it as we drove home with Chase and Malcolm in the backseat; neither of them knowing my secret. 

For the briefest of moments, I thought that Noah had forgotten about the test in his hands. 

“Did you take it this morning?” He tossed the test onto the bed before running a hand through his mahogany streaked hair. It had been a while since I gave him a haircut so the strands were always falling into his eyes. 

“What was the result?” Noah asked when I remained silent, still keeping my eye cast down to my lap. 

Since it had been a few days, the negative lines faded, not showing Noah the result. When I still said nothing, not finding my voice to tell him the truth, I could feel his displeasure radiate off of him in droves. 

“God dammit it, angel! Look at me, please!” 

The sheer brokenness in his voice as it cracked finally made me raise my head up towards him. “I’m tired of you shutting me out. I deserve to know what the result was.” 

Noah slowly reached for me, hands linking with mine as he pulled me to my knees on the bed so his tender fingers could caress my cheek. Tears ran down my face, unable to hold back any longer. For days I did my best to keep up the facade that everything was fine, I wasn’t falling deeper and deeper into the abyss of defeat. But one longing glance from Noah as his eyes bounced between mine had me crumbling. 

“Angel,” his voice was rough as he begged. “Please tell me it was positive.”

A broken sob fell from my lips when I saw the hopeful gleam in his eyes and did my best to shake my head in his grasp. 

“It was negative.”

Noah now stood before me a shattered shell of the man he’d spent so long protecting. Every ounce of happiness that he had expressed from that one look was gone, replaced with an all too familiar one. 

Disappointment. 

“When did you take it?” He wondered, again doing his best to stay strong; not just for me but him as well. 

“The morning of the Just Pretend shoot,” I admitted in a quiet breath. 

Noah’s brows pulled together in a line before his hands fell from my face. “You knew about this for the last four days and you didn’t tell me?” 

My lips parted, unable to speak when I realized I had outed myself about my secret. 

“Were you even going to tell me, Y/N?” His voice shook, trying his best to not break down. But his eyes shone with tears. 

Slowly licking my lips, I did my best to ignore the way my heart was beating so loud in my chest it felt like I was about to cave in. My world was collapsing, slipping through my fingers because of my own failures and stupidity. 

“No,” I answered in a breath. 

NOAH

Tossing my gym bag next to the front door, I let the cool air help dry the sweat dampening the back of my neck as I stepped farther into the house. It was quiet, eerily quiet for a Tuesday afternoon. Typically Jesse would be in the studio garage working on ERRA stuff while Tay would be at work and Michael would be either playing a game in the living room or reading out back. They were in neither of those places. Even Kuma was gone but I didn’t fret too much about that one, knowing that someone had dropped him off at daycare earlier today. He was steadily growing in a house that was already too small for an Akita so he needed the extra space of the play yards at daycare to run around, exerting as much energy as he could before coming home. 

Salem was perched on the top part of his cat condo in front of the window in the living room; the one I had bought for him when we first moved in here. The sun’s rays blanketed him in a bright glow, his black fur almost shimmering. 

“Hey bud,” I cooed while scratching his ears. “Is mom home?” 

A futile question. Y/N had barely been home the last couple of weeks, spending whatever free time she had either at Malcolm and Chase’s place recording stuff for Hollow Souls or helping Astrid out at Fika. They were down two workers and with Jolly being tied up in the studio with us, it meant Astrid was back to working long hours. Y/N, being the kind soul she was offered to help out. What originally was supposed to be a few days helping out turned into two weeks. Y/N would wake up in the morning before the rest of the house and leave with a kiss to my lips. Some nights, she wouldn’t return home until well after I was in bed with Kuma and Salem. I never questioned her about it, knowing that she was telling the truth on where she was due to her location on LIFE360. I also never questioned her about her long days and nights knowing that it was her way of coping with the negative pregnancy test. 

We hadn’t talked about it since that night I found it in the trash. Part of me couldn’t help but think it was because Y/N was ashamed of the result. She knew how much I wanted a family and felt like a failure that she was unable to give me that. Even though I assured her all the time that between her and our pets, that was more than enough family for me. 

My words meant nothing to her. It was as if it went through one ear and immediately out of the other. No matter how much I repeated them or spoke them into the skin of her neck as we lay tangled together in the sheets, it did nothing to fill the empty void in Y/N’s heart. 

With a deep sigh, I dragged my feet through the empty kitchen, down the hallway towards my bedroom. The door was closed which gave me pause almost immediately. Whenever Y/N or I left, we always kept the door open, in case Kuma or Salem wanted to come and go. According to LIFE360, Y/N was again at Fika, so with the closed door in front of me, I couldn’t help but wonder who had been in our room. 

Pushing the door open, I peered inside to see the bed still made just how I left it before I went to the gym and the patio door still cracked open to let in the chilled autumn air. 

Maybe a gust of wind shut the door?

Letting out a choked breath with the familiar feeling of being forgotten clutching my jugular, I kicked off my shoes into the closet and trudged into the bathroom. The air was cold, not from the air conditioner but from the absence of the one that held my heart; the one my soul yearned for time and time again when Y/N was away.

Cliche but I didn’t care. She was my other half, the moon to my stars and the sun to my rays. When Y/N was too far away, the invisible string that ties us together nearly disintegrated. But when we were together, nothing could cut the string. It became invincible with the love we shared.

Again, cliche. But I couldn’t give a fuck what anyone thought. 

Stripping out of my gym clothes that clung to me with dried sweat, I tossed them into the hamper next to the shower and turned the dial all the way to the left, letting the steam slowly begin to fill the bathroom. I stretched my arms above my head, muscles screaming in agony from how far I pushed myself today with Ash. I had weeks of pent up emotions that I was unable to exert any other way than in the gym. Ash knew something was wrong but didn’t want to pry, especially when there were others around that could easily eavesdrop on our conversation. Not like I would have told him because no one knew about the negative test besides Y/N and I. 

Well, scratch that; Michael knew only because he saw the test on the bathroom counter. He promised us that he wouldn’t tell anyone about it and we knew we could trust him. This secret wasn’t his to tell. 

I finally stepped into the scalding shower, the water hitting against the large tattoo on my back as I hung my head low, mind swirling to thoughts of Y/N and what she was doing currently. I texted her when I left the gym if she was going to be home for dinner, to which she responded with two simple words. 

Angel 🪽: I’ll try. 

Bullshit. 

She never tried. Any chance Y/N could do to avoid the problems between us, she took it. She opted to help out others before herself, running herself rampant and nearly in the ground rather than face our problems head on. Y/N put others before herself, which wasn’t anything different. Yet this time, it was worse. I couldn’t remember the last time I actually watched her eat a full meal or had more than six hours of sleep. 

We all could tell she’d been on edge the last couple of days, afraid that if we said one wrong thing that Y/N would snap. It felt like we had to walk on eggshells around her because of this fear. Tay wouldn’t say it but I could tell she was uncomfortable with the energy Y/N had been radiating, making the tension of the house thick with negativity. We knew it wasn’t her fault but there was only so much more one of us could take. 

Me especially. 

Y/N had been pushing me away ever since we came back from Vegas but Michael assured me that it wasn’t intentional. Deep down I understood that but my heart hurt everytime I would reach for her in bed and she would brush off my touch or turn away when I would attempt to capture her lips in a kiss. If she wasn’t the one initiating the contact, Y/N would push me away. 

Once the water had run cold, I shut off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel low around my waist. Steam covered all the reflective surfaces but I didn’t bother to look, not caring to notice yet again the dark bags under my eyes. With Y/N being gone so often, I felt like I’d barely slept. 

When I walked back into the bedroom, I saw Kuma curled up in the overly large dog bed in front of the patio door, snoozing away unbothered. 

“Who picked you up, bud?” I muttered mostly to myself as I walked into the closet, pulling on a pair of briefs and black joggers. Then slipping into a plain white shirt, I hung up the towel back into the bathroom before walking out into the kitchen, towards an array of weary voices. 

Suddenly I remembered that we were having everyone over tonight for a barbeque and more than anything, I wanted to crawl into bed with Y/N, who was standing in the middle of the kitchen with a pulled expression on her face. Her skin had lost all its color and the dark circles under her eyes were worse than my own, indicating she was getting less sleep than me. 

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, Kuma immediately ran towards Matt, who held Boo in his hands. After a quick greeting, Matt set down his dog to which both of them ran through the open patio door into the backyard. Feeling me watching her, Y/N looked up from slicing the tomatoes, resting her tired eyes on me. 

“Hi,” I said while shifting on my feet. “Did you pick up Kuma?” 

She made a grunt that sounded like a yes. “After I stopped at the store to buy everything for tonight. Something I thought you were going to do.”

Davis and Jolly, who were standing next to me, stiffened with the tone in Y/N’s voice. Matt and Faye were leaning against the wall next to the fridge and I could tell that they were having their own hushed conversations. Micheal and Jesse were outside, getting the grill ready. Astrid was standing next to Y/N helping her set up the side dishes for the dinner tonight and she rested a soft hand on her arm. 

“Y/N-,” Astrid began but Malcolm, who was stocking the fridge with drinks muttered something in her ear. 

I clenched my fists at my side when I realized how we all were yet again walking on eggshells around Y/N. I loved her but it wasn’t fair how she was treating us. But I bit my tongue knowing that if I snapped back at her, it would only escalate the situation. 

Chase came up from behind me and rested a hand on my shoulder. “Just let it go, Noah.”

I planned too, like I always had but Y/N spoke again. 

“I thought you were going to stop at the store to pick up stuff for dinner tonight,” she grumbled as she sliced a new tomato. 

“I forgot that the barbeque was tonight,” I admitted while stuffing my hands deep into my pockets. 

Y/N rolled her eyes before angrily slicing the tomato now. “Figures. Did you by chance pick up my packages from the PO Box?” 

I swallowed. “I was in the studio all morning and then went to my training session with Ash right after. I didn’t have time. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t fucking talk to me about not having time, Noah,” this time when she sliced into the tomato, it rocked the cutting board. “I asked you to do two things tonight while I was gone. I’d been running myself ragged helping everyone else. The least you could have done is gone to the fucking store.” 

My jaw clenched as I was about to retort back; however someone beat me to it. 

“Y/N,” Faye’s soft voice echoed in the filled space of the kitchen as she tentatively took a step towards her. “Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh? Noah apologized.” 

Y/N dropped the knife and whipped her head towards Faye. “This isn’t your fucking business, Faye. Stay out of it!” 

Matt quickly pushed himself off the wall and stood between the two women. “Take a second and cool off, Y/N. Faye did nothing to warrant you snapping at her like that. She’s concerned like the rest of us are.” 

“Fuck off! It’s not a concern. You guys just want to control me and my life when in fact you don’t know shit about me or what's going on!” 

Matt’s eyes narrowed from underneath his hat. “Of course we don’t know what’s going on! You don’t talk to anyone. Noah says you’re barely home anymore, too busy helping others when you can’t even help yourself. You don’t even see how you’re hurting everyone around you because you don’t even see yourself.”

Malcolm stepped forward but Matt’s snarl pinned him in place. 

“I don’t know what you’ve got going on outside of us, this family, but it’s been eating away at you. You’ve been in a nasty ass mood and if you think treating the people who love and care about you like this is going to make it any better, you’re dead fucking wrong. Our family is strong and while it’s not perfect, we fucking work through the bullshit together. If you think you can continue going on and dealing with your shit alone, then you’re destined to fail.”

My eyes never left Y/N as Matt’s words hung in the air, dancing around her in a mocking tone. 

Failure. Failure. You’re such a fucking failure.

“Alright that’s enough!” My voice boomed, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and Jesse with Michael trailing behind to step back inside. 

“Noah-,” Matt started but I pinned him with a glare as I stepped around the large island towards Y/N. 

“We need to talk. Now!” I demanded while linking my fingers with her and all but dragging her down the hallway towards our bedroom. 

The door vibrated against the walls as I slammed it shut behind us, not giving Y/N a second to speak before I started to speak. 

“What you did out there,” I pointed towards the closed door. “Was so fucking wrong on all kinds of levels.” 

“It wasn’t her business!” She shot back while crossing her arms over her chest. 

For the first time since I laid eyes on her tonight, I noticed she was burying herself underneath my yellow sweater; almost hiding herself from everyone. Her usually styled dark hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, wild strands falling into her tired face and either she was too weak to brush them away or couldn’t be bothered to care. Even through all of it, she still looked breathtaking. 

“Faye didn’t do anything! You didn’t need to snap at her like that.” 

Y/N raised a brow while scoffing. “So what, you’re taking her side now?” 

I blinked for a moment before letting out a very long breath and ran a hand through my still damp hair. 

“It has nothing to do with taking sides, Y/N. It’s the fact that you’ve been acting cold towards everyone. You’ve been avoiding the issues at home by keeping yourself busy in places that don’t need you.” 

“Astrid needs my help,” she fought back. “Fika has been busy every day since the new menu and the open mic nights every Friday.” 

“She hired three new people this week alone. Does she really still need your help?” I questioned while resting my hands on my hips. 

Y/N pursed her lips, no words forming on them. 

Point proven. 

“When you’re not at Fika, you’re in the Hollow Studios,” I blew out a shaky breath when my voice began to crack. “You’re putting others before you. You’re always helping other people out instead of taking care of yourself. When was the last time you ate something more than a granola bar or a salad?” 

She was still quiet so I continued. “I’m tired of seeing you exert all of your energy on others when you’re barely hanging on, angel.”

It was as if my nickname for her softened the hardness around her, only a bit. 

“I’m fine, Noah,” Y/N sneered while pacing in front of her vanity.

It had been untouched for weeks, gathering dust along the surface. She barely took the time to do her makeup or hair. Not that any of that mattered to me, I always thought she was beautiful no matter if she wore makeup or not. But I knew it made her happy, gave her a sense of peace in this crazy life we built together. 

“You’re not, angel,” I noted while taking a step towards her. 

She whipped her head around to face me. “Stop acting like you know me! I’m fucking fine. F.I.N.E. FINE! I’m so tired of everyone saying there’s something wrong with me when there’s not!”

“Everyone has been walking on eggshells around you! You snapped at Faye for no reason. All she’s done is care for you!” My voice was now raised, matching hers. 

“I’m not fucking doing this!” Y/N ran fingers through her hair, gripping the ends. “I can’t keep having the same argument with you, Noah!”

I scoffed. “You want to talk about being tired? I’m fucking tired of you walking away when things get to real for you, Y/N. I’m so tired of you taking out your anger and frustrations out on me. I’ve been by your side through it all yet you keep lying to me!” 

It was her turn to scoff, almost immediately going on the defensive. “I haven’t lied about anything.”

My brows raised and I rested my hands on my hips. “Are you sure about that? Did you already forget about the pregnancy test?” 

“Fuck you, Noah!” Her dark eyes sliced through me. “I can’t believe you’re still hung up on that!” 

“OF COURSE I AM!” I bellowed, my voice undoubtedly being heard throughout the house. 

Even though my back was facing the patio doors of our bedroom, I could feel many sets of eyes through the open blinds. 

“You lied to me about it! You kept the result from me and had no plan on telling me. After you knew what Jessica put me through. The trauma I went through for years because of her. You promised me you would never put me through that but you did!” 

Y/N’s jaw ticked as her shoulders went rigid. “I didn’t fake a pregnancy.” 

“No, you didn’t. But you kept the results from me,” I reiterated. “You said it yourself you weren’t-.”

“I DID IT FOR YOU!” She screamed, cutting me off, and I cowered when something flew past towards the wall behind me, glass shattering to the ground. 

Salem, who had been creeping into the room through the somewhat open door, scurried back into the hallway from the tone in Y/N’s voice and the sound of something breaking. She grabbed a picture of us off of my nightstand and threw it in her rage. 

I stood in front of her, dumbfounded Y/N actually threw something. My eyes were wide as my chest rose and fell, trying to calm my racing heart, all the while Y/N looked unphased about what she did.

“I didn’t tell you because I couldn’t bear to see the look on your face when I told you it was negative. You want a family so bad, Noah. I can’t give that to you. I can’t,” her head shook rapidly. 

I threw my hands up in the air. “I-I don't fucking want that, Y/N. I just want you!”

Her bottom lip wobbled as she let out an unsteady breath, refusing to meet my gaze even when I took a few steps towards her which caused her to take larger steps away from me. 

“I can’t do this,” Y/N murmured while playing with the ends of her hair, turning swiftly on her feet. 

She made it all of two steps towards the door when my shattered voice stopped her in her tracks.

“You promised you wouldn’t leave me again! Not like this!” 

“So what if I do? Are you going to find Bailey and fuck her again?” Y/N snapped, pinning me with her hateful gaze. 

I stumbled back, her words catching me off guard. I knew my decision to sleep with Bailey that night was something that still bothered Y/N, even if she pretended it didn’t. It was a decision that I still regret. I didn’t like who I was back then and the choices I made reflected the dark place I was in during that time. 

“That’s low, Y/N,” I growled, the noise vibrating in my chest. 

There was some sort of noise from the other side of the cracked door, something sounding like feet scurrying away and cursing. But I didn’t pay too much attention to it. The woman in front of me, the shell of the woman I love, wasn’t even phased with the words she spat at me. 

“You should go back to her. She can give you what you want,” Y/N shrugged before crossing her arms over her chest, popping out a hip. 

She needs that attitude fucked out of her. 

Everything happened all at once; me taking two large steps towards her and pushing Y/N against the wall, pinning her with my large frame. Her hands pushed my chest, trying to create more distance between us but I slammed them above her head.

Tears burned in the corners of my eyes and my bottom lip trembled as I gazed down at her, broken and defeated. 

“I feel like you’re doing whatever you can to avoid being with me,” I confessed with a sob. “If I’m not enough for you, after the negative pregnancy test, then please let me know. Stop dragging me along, pretending everything is fine when it’s not! If I’m not worthy anymore, then just fucking tell me, Y/N.”

“It’s me that’s not worthy!” She admitted while thrashing against my hold on her hands. “I’m not worthy enough for you!”

Somehow with her rage, Y/N was able to break free from my grasp around her wrists and pushed me away. 

“My body continues to fail. Failing at giving you what you deserve. I can never be worthy enough for you!”

I reached for her, only for her to push me against my chest yet again. “I’m broken. Some days I sit quiet in my head lashing out in thoughts I never said! Those thoughts of how I failed you and our future!”

“Y/N, you didn’t fail,” I assured, trying to reach for her, this time smacking my hands away. 

“I get so sick of wearing skin and it only gets harder to pretend that I’m not a disappointment.” Y/N wiped away the snot from her nose on the sleeve of her sweater.

“And then you stare into my fucking soul,” she pounded on her chest. “Like you know that it’s letting go of yours. I can’t take the look of disappointment on your face every time you look at me!” 

“I-,” the words died on my lips, knowing that it was futile to try and argue with her because it was true. 

Whether I wanted to believe it or not, I couldn’t help but look at Y/N with some short of disappointment lingering at what we could have had together. Guilt ate away at me for even feeling that way. It wasn’t Y/N’s fault that her body could give us what we both secretly wanted. 

“My skin crawls every time I see you look at me with those eyes,” Y/N shivered, her upper lip curled in a snarl. “Knowing that I disappointed you.”

“Angel,” my voice caught in my throat as the tears burned in my eyes. 

“No!” She screamed when I reached for here one more time and slipped away from me towards the patio doors in our bedroom. 

Her face was red and blotchy from how hard she’d been crying and her breathing was erratic as she tried to calm herself. She paced the width of the room while running a shaky hand through her already messed up hair and then ripped off her sweater, letting it drop to the floor. The dark circles under her eyes stained the beauty that I adored. Gone was the sun kissed skin, replaced with a ghostly pale that told anyone who gazed at her that she wasn't alright; she wasn’t taking care of herself. 

The light was physically gone from Y/N’s halo and fear sank low in my gut that I would never see it again. 

“You've been through the rough, angel. Was my love not enough for you?” I questioned on an end of a broken sob.

Y/N froze her pacing to land her broken gaze on me and those lips I haven’t properly kissed in so long mimicked a fish as no words came from them. Her shoulders fell and I could practically see the air leave her lungs when her head moved the slightest fraction. 

“I-.”

My body went rigid as my heart shattered when I noticed something else that was different with Y/N.

I pointed a shaking finger at her bare neckline. “Where’s your necklace? Your bracelet?” 

“Fuck,” she cursed, hands flying to her neckline hoping to hide the missing jewelry she claimed she never took off. 

Please, let me wake up from this nightmare.

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (PART TWELVE)

notes: i’m finally caught up on this series! just in time for the last regular season game!

previous: eleven

next: thirteen

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 72,810 others

y/ndevils00 if you’re allergic to sappiness, you may wanna keep scrolling tonight!

first of all, i’m so proud of ALL my boys tonight! all 5 of our goal scorers, the assisters, and the ones who just played their asses off tonight!

now is where it gets sappy!

my jacky: you broke a 22 year old franchise points record tonight. YOU did that. i always knew you would do it, and i’m so grateful that i was there to see it happen. you’re my (real) best friend, my love, my heart, the father to my cat, and the best hockey player i’ve ever seen (sorry boys). the talent that you possess is constantly leaving me awestruck, and i can’t wait to see what you achieve in the future. i can’t imagine the past 3 years without you, and i hope i never have to live a future without you either. i am so unbelievably proud of you. congratulations, my sweet boy. lil satan and i love you to pluto! <3

my lukey: my little (not so little) brother for the past 3 years. for some context, i met luke when he came to a devils game literally the same month i started working for the team. jack introduced me to him and lukey and i hit it off. i ended up sitting with him at the game, we exchanged numbers, and i adopted him as my own little brother very quickly. when luke was chosen in the 2021 draft, i cried tears of joy; but those tears were nothing compared to the ones i shed tonight. my baby brother made his nhl debut tonight and i couldn’t be happier for him. i look forward to seeing you absolutely kick ass and show everyone in this league how incredibly talented you are. congratulations on your debut, smush! i love you! <3

p.s. rasmus dahlin, i am in your walls. stay away from my boyfriend.

tagged jackhughes and lhughes_06

user did she just call luke “smush”?! that’s so cute, i need the reason asap

y/ndevils00 no real story behind it! we just smush/squish each others cheeks a lot! also, we watched finding nemo for our first facetime movie night and he took up calling me “squishy” like dory called the jellyfish.

john.marino97 they really do do it often. i’ve counted 12 times in the past 2 days

jackhughes i love you to pluto, sweet girl. thank you for being by my side to celebrate this achievement. i’m so thankful that i get to spend life with you ❤️

y/ndevils00 you’re so obsessed with me

jackhughes PARTS of you, for sure

y/ndevils00 you perv! there are innocent eyes present! @/lhughes_06

jackhughes i meant your heart!

lhughes_06 we have thin walls, i know you’re lying.

lhughes_06 @/y/ndevils00 also, why would you tag me?!

lhughes_06 thank you squishy! this was really sweet but can you stop crying now?

y/ndevils00 you didn’t say you love me, so no

lhughes_06 i love you!

y/ndevils00 well now it just seems forced. i hope you can sleep through my wails and tears

john.marino97 congrats hughesy! so happy for you! and congrats little hughesy! you did great!

jackhughes thanks bro!

lhughes_06 thanks man!

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes @/lhughes_06 yeah, you guys are so siblings

john.marino97 @/y/ndevils00 did you think they weren’t?

y/ndevils00 idk i was just kinda hoping that maybe ellen actually switched jack at birth and he’s not actually their son but i’m their daughter

jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 that’s the oddest way to say you love my family. you’re such a little nutcase, i love you

lhughes_06 @/y/ndevils00 you weren’t even born in florida like jack…

y/ndevils00 @/lhughes_06 you’re a brat

dawson1417 LFG BRO! SO PROUD OF YOU HUGHESY!

jackhughes THANK YOU BRO! APPRECIATE IT!

dawson1417 congrats luke!! smashed it tonight, dude!

lhughes_06 thanks dude! looking forward to playing more games with you!

trevorzegras HOLY SHIT CONGRATS BRO’S! KILLING IT! can’t wait to play against you @/lhughes_06

y/ndevils00 no.

jackhughes thanks bro! hope your game goes well!

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes no.

lhughes_06 thanks z! excited to kick your ass next season 🔥

y/ndevils00 @/lhughes_06 yes.

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras is officially banned from my comments until he apologizes to me. any more comments about or from him will be deleted.

trevorzegras what did i do now?

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras it’s more what you WON’T do.

trevorzegras is this seriously because i won’t dress up as ken to see the barbie movie with you?

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras blocking you. deleting your number. lasering off our matching tattoo.

user63 they have matching tattoos?!

y/ndevils00 @/user63 not anymore.

lhughes_06 @/user63 yeah it’s the moon and saturn

user84 am i the only one who thought she and trevor just genuinely didn’t get along?

y/ndevils00 @/user84 i feel like a lot of people think that, so i’m only gonna say this once so he can’t use it against me: trevor is actually one of my closest friends! i love him very much and i THOUGHT he loved me. if you scroll back to the summer on my account you’ll actually find loads of posts with him! we just have a funny way of showing our love but i’m actually very grateful to have a friend like him 🖤

trevorzegras 📸

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras i take it all back. i hate you, troll doll.

trevorzegras did you just insult my hair?! TAKE IT BACK!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras she literally called you a “brainless bimbo” and “the human equivalent of cat zoomies” the other day on the group call and your HAIR is where you cross the line?

_quinnhughes so proud of the both of you 💙 congrats guys

lhughes_06 thank you quinner ❤️ love ya bro

jackhughes thanks quinny! love ya ❤️

y/ndevils00 my baby boys <3

jamie.drysdale i wanna know what was running through your mind when jack looked straight at you when you took the arrival picture

jackhughes she yelled “shit! fuck! abort mission!” and dove behind the equipment boxes

lhughes_06 she scared the actual photographer and almost made them break their camera

user37 why does luke look like he has no emotions in the third slide?

y/ndevils00 it’s the hughes dead eye stare! they can all do it VERY well because they’re all emotionally dead inside <3

nicohischier proud of you guys! excited to play with you more @/lhughes_06 and can’t wait to see if you’ll break your own record next season @/jackhughes

jackhughes thanks cap!

lhughes_06 thank you cap!

y/ndevils00 he will!

[pillow-anime-talk]

Hi it’s me again 😅 can’t get enough, so I thought of Ayato and prompt 12 with fem reader!! Them being childhood sweethearts. Again congrats on 4000 followers, you deserve it :)

# tags: scenario; friendship; fluffy shit; flashbacks; childhood sweethearts; human!reader; sfw

includes: female reader ft. ayato kirishima {tokyo ghoul}

author’s note: hello once again! i hope it's the ayato from tokyo ghoul (not from genshin impact or diabolik lovers), based on your previous request :) thank you for this prompt!

12. “But we are not married.” “Then marry me.”

You and Ayato have known each other for over eighteen years. Now you are twenty-four and twenty-five, have enough knowledge about life and also many situations behind you.

Your friendship is a sequence of pleasant memories, it’s dozens of trips together outside of Tokyo, weeks without contact and months of living in silence, your long-hour quarrels, your live together for three years in small flat, your ‘on college’ chapter, his being a ghoul and all the bad things he’s done, your own first love and his broken heart after several relationships with women... It’s all your moments with a glass of wine or something stronger, it’s just watching horror movies together until dawn, running away from important meetings, also your first serious work and all the other things that have kept the two of you apart for almost twenty years, but also made your relatio stronger than ever before.

You understood each other without words, you understood each other through gestures, facial expressions and the way of breathing. You knew each other perfectly, you knew about all your failures and about every, even the smallest, situation that made you smile or happy. There was no taboo between you, no shyness.

And although Ayato in your eyes has become a really handsome and calm guy, still looking at him to this day you are able to remember his much younger – seven-year-old – version, who stole your favorite bucket from the sandbox and argued with you that he just found it and had to take care of it... At first your friendship was turbulent and full of contradictions; the boy took your toys, scared you and ran away from you, while you called him ‘nasty black cat’ and ‘big dummy’. His father and your mother looked at you with light amusement on their faces, wondering when you will finally come to an understanding.

To this day, you remember how – after almost a year of friendship and playing together in the sandbox – Ayato approached you with a paper bag filled with cookies in your favorite flavor. It was a kind gesture that put the most beautiful smile on your baby face at that time. The boy thought it was really cute. It’s cute to see you happy and looking at him as someone you really like.

“...You should give me a kiss as a ‘Thank you’. I made them with my sister.” He said then an you only giggled under your breath. The present Ayato looked at you with furrowed brows and you just shook your head. You were at the coffee shop.

“But we are not married.” You said seventeen years ago and he just stamped his foot.

“Then marry me.” His declaration was sincere and loud at the time, causing your mummy to giggle and his dad to laugh out loud; he almost dropped the newspaper from his hands.

The memory only made you smile more and more, the tip of your nose turning slightly red.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” The dark-haired man put down the mug with the steaming drink, and you sighed amused.

“I just remembered something...” You began mysteriously, causing another surprised look to be sent in your direction. “It’s a really nice memory.” You looked down at the surface of dark coffee and could have sworn that for a brief moment your reflection looked like a six-year-old version of yourself.

[miyaheestar]

Hello everyone I am here simply to prove to all of you why i should be THE Guy fan 🌻🍕

@plaqying thank you for hosting this fun event!

1. My first audio is Getting Your Stolen Hoodie Back From Your Chaotic Boyfriend the Fun Way. I found Guy through tiktok and fell in love with him on the spot the moment he said "Hi! Hi baby, I love you" I immediately opened the comment sections and ran to youtube to listen to the full audio so thanks to tiktok and Guy, I managed to find redacted audio.

2. It took me pretty long time to listen to other characters because I was too attached to Guy and even after months of listening to others, Guy still managed to be my number 1 and no one I MEAN NI ONE can take his place not even david shaw and asher talbot aka the two characters that is on my top 5 list of my favorite redacted boys.

3. The moment I see that his icon is a pizza and not to mention A HEART SHAPED pizza, I fell for him even more and the fact that his name is Guy is just so silly to me, no one could ever make me hate him and that's final.

4. Most of my redacted posts are about Guy.

5 . I developed a habit of saying WA-AH-WA-AH-WA-AH from Your Chaotic Boyfriend Hates Scary Movies (So You Made Him Watch one) at minute 06:45.

6. I crochet a pizza last night BECAUSE I MISSED GUY

7. I have made a custom printed totebag with me and guy's icon few months ago.

8 . My bestfriend of 8 years literally said this herself.

9. Some discord and whatsapp ss

10. I literally tried my best to color a background the art of me and guy @mhmmaybe draw on gartic phone. MANUALLY.

11. I used to only listen to japanese boyfriend asmr because I think the english ones are cringe but then the door of my heart got crashed over by a pizza delivery guy named Guy.

12. Most of my favorites are associated with either the color yellow or red WHICH IS ALSO GUY'S COLORS AND ALSO I LOVE SUNFLOWER AND SUNFLOWER IS YELLOW

13. Because of Guy and because I wasn't satisfied with my work last night.

14. I mostly act like Honey irl so YOU CAN'T DENY THAT ME AND GUY ARE MEANT TO BE PLUS WE ARE MARRIED

15. I HAVE THIS MAN'S PLAYLIST SAVED. SAVED.

16. I love Guy so much because he reminds me of my past self before I grow up and it's such a fresh air to breath to meet a character like him. I love him like a bee loves the flowers. If he told me "the moon is beautiful isn't it?" I won't hestitate to answer with "I can die happy."

17. Personally I dont think I need reasons to love him, I just love him as he is.

[roxygen22]

Still Here (Chapter 10)

Summary: Picks up after your steamy confession that you love Timothée in return.

C/W: NSFW-ish beginning (minors DNI); parent with terminal illness

Catch up on previous chapters here.

Timothée trembled on top of you, barely able to support his weight on his elbows as he came down from the high of his climax.

"You do?" he asked, his tone revealing an air of disbelief.

"Yes. I've known with certainty since the day we went to the lake. I thought I had pushed those feelings aside a long time ago, but obviously the embers never died. I've just been too scared to say it, like that would somehow save me from heartbreak if you change your mind."

He rolled to your side and propped his head up on his hand so he could still look at you. "I haven't changed my mind in 12 years, [Y/N]." He traced your jawline lightly with his fingertips. "Believe me, I have tried many times over the years to convince myself otherwise. You're stuck with me."

"Promise?"

Timothée nodded, nuzzling his nose against your ear. "Can I hear you say it again?" he whispered.

"I love you, Timmy."

His lips crashed down onto yours in response. His free hand landed on your hip, his fingers making indentations in your flesh as he pulled your body to press up against his. This ebb and flow of passion continued throughout the night. When the two of you were finally spent, Timothée clung to you in his sleep as if he were afraid you would disappear.

You stirred when a ray of light from the window hit your face. Waking up next to Timothée after a night of lovemaking was something you had yet to experience. As teens, you were never afforded the opportunity. You took advantage of the chance to take in the features of his peaceful face. In many ways he looked just like he did all of those years ago. The same recognizable jawline, sharp nose, and mop of dark curly hair. But there were subtle differences that you found yourself falling in love with. Laugh lines. Crow's feet. A tiny scar next to his nose. You wondered what story was behind that and made a mental note to ask him later. You found yourself hoping that you would get to stare at this face for the rest of your life.

Your thoughts were interrupted as Timothée began to stir. His eyelids fluttered open, and he smiled as his eyes focused on you.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said, his voice still thick and gravelly with sleep. He pulled you in for a quick kiss.

"Morning." You smiled and sighed.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You gently shrugged. "I wish I could give you back all the years I wasted."

"Everything happens for a reason, love. The past is the past. What we can do, though, is have fun making up for lost time." He gave you a suggestive look and squeezed your thigh. He acted like he was about to lean in for another kiss, but stopped just short of your lips. "But first, breakfast."

You took in the view as Timothée threw off the blanket and walked naked to the kitchen. You wouldn't mind seeing that for the rest of your life, either.

<><><><><>

After enjoying breakfast in bed, the two of you got dressed and Timothée drove you back to your parents' house. Needing to get back to check on his dad and work in his shop, he dropped you off in front of the house.

Before you got out, he asked, "Hey, why don't you and Madison come over for dinner this evening? Dad would love to see you again and meet Madison. And it would mean a lot to me."

You paused to think through your calendar. "Sure, we can do that. Text me later about the time and what I can bring." You kissed him on the cheek and hopped out of the truck.

Madison was sitting on the couch in the living room when you walked inside. She crossed her arms and glared at you. "Where have you been?"

You found the juxtaposed roles amusing, but tried your best not to show it. "We watched a movie at Timothée's house and fell asleep." Not exactly a lie, but she didn't need the full truth, either. Madison narrowed her eyes at you, but she was satisfied enough with the answer to return to her book.

Your mother watched the entire exchange and covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. You walked past her to the kitchen with a knowing smile on your face. She followed you and asked, "Sooooo, how was your night?"

"Well, like I said, we watched a movie at his place and fell asleep." You laughed nervously and blushed.

"Mm-hmm. I wasn't born yesterday, child."

"It was....good. Really, really good."

She smiled. "Good. You needed to get some."

You scoffed. "Mom!"

"What?! Like I said, I wasn't born yesterday. I called it as soon as he said y'all were going to his place instead of out for dinner." She grinned.

"ANYWAY. Timothée invited Madison and me over to his dad's house for dinner tonight," you interjected, trying to change the subject.

"Must be getting pretty serious if he's bringing y'all home to meet the family," she quipped.

"It's not like I've never met Mr. Chalamet before," you replied insolently.

"Perhaps. But Madison hasn't."

You opened your mouth to rebut, but quickly shut your jaw with a click. She was right, though the realization did not come as a shock. "You're stuck with me" resonated in your head. Timothée was all in at this point. You ducked your head and smiled.

<><><><><>

You returned to the Chalamet's property later that evening with a bottle of wine in hand and daughter close behind you. Timothée met you at your car to give you a chaste kiss and Madison a hug. "Come on inside," he said as he guided the two of you up to the porch.

Mr. Chalamet was waiting at the front door with open arms. "[Y/N]! So good to see you again," he exclaimed as he closed the hug. "And who is this?" He looked at the girl who had half-hidden herself behind Timothée's leg.

You stepped back from the hug and waved her over. "Madison, come meet Mr. Chalamet." You heard him gasp slightly as your daughter revealed herself.

"She looks just like you did as a girl."

"That's exactly what I said the first time I saw her, too," Timothée agreed, setting a hand on Madison's shoulder in reassurance.

She looked up at you in disbelief. "Is there anyone in this town who didn't know you as a kid?" All of you laughed.

Unable to stand for long, Mr. Chalamet returned to his armchair in the living room. You accompanied him and caught him up on the highlights of your time in California while Timothée stepped away to put the finishing touches on dinner. Once Madison helped him set the table and bring out the food, the four of you took your places. Soon you were all reminiscing and laughing at the stories Mr. Chalamet told of Timothée as a boy. You could tell, though, that he was getting tired by the time dessert was served. You and Madison cleared the table while Timothée helped him back to his armchair, then joined them in the living room.

You knelt down in front of him and held his hand. "This has been lovely, Mr. Chalamet. Thank you for having us over."

"Oh, sweet girl. I'm so glad you are back." He nodded past you at Madison, who now stood by Timothée. "You've done a good job with her, my dear. Timothée talks about her all the time."

"Oh, she makes it easy." He gave you a soft smile.

"Will we be seeing more of the two of you, [Y/N]?

You looked at Timothée and smiled before looking back at his dad. "I hope so." You sandwiched Mr. Chalamet's hand between yours and squeezed before standing to leave. Madison shyly waved at him and followed you out the door. Timothée walked the two of you to your car and opened the door for Madison. Before he opened yours, he leaned down to give you a kiss.

"Thank you for this," he said quietly.

"He...seemed to be in good spirits."

"Today was a good day. Those seem to be happening less frequently. He rallied because he wanted to see you two."

You reached up and cupped his cheek. "I see now why you said this would mean a lot to you. I didn't realize he was so..." You were at a loss for words.

"Sick? Yeah. I know it may have seemed a bit premature for this, but I wanted to have, uh..." He looked up at the sky and cleared his throat to will the tears away.

"A family dinner?" you guessed.

Timothée looked down at you and nodded. "I know this is fast and you wanted to take things slowly, but there may not be time and I didn't want to lose the chance to be surrounded by the most important people in my life, those still with us at least. I can't explain just how badly I wanted my dad to meet Madison, especially. I know she's not mine, but I...I love her so much already."

"I know." You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him to you. He rested his head in the crook of your neck and cried.

<><><><><>

Chapter 11

Masterlist

Tag List: @croatianprincess, @bluizh, @jindongdongie, @groovyqueer

[animentality]

Depression and ADHD took away my ability to enjoy novels a long time ago, when I was 18.

I used to be a big reader. Ever since I was a kid, I'd plow through hundreds of books a year, no joke, no hyperbole. I was raised by an older mom, who didn't let me watch TV or use the internet until I was about 12, so books were the thing I loved most, aside from games I could play on the Gameboy Advanced or the SP or the Nintendo DS.

But books I could read under the desk at school. Books I could smuggle more places. I always had a hyperactive imagination. It was like watching a movie or a tv show in my head. I was a child perpetually lost in day dreams and fantasies.

I could read anything at all. Romances, historical fiction, fantasy, science fiction, literary.

I snapped up just about any story I could get my hands on.

But then I became a teenager, and then I showed symptoms of depression.

And I still read books, but in lesser numbers.

I read less and less every year.

And then I went to college. And then things just got worse.

I stopped watching movies, which were something I used to adore. I couldn't, literally could not, watch TV shows. I couldn't muster enthusiasm for anything at all.

I played video games, but they didn't make me happy. They didn't stimulate my imagination or give me joy.

They were just something I could use to while away my time in between the agonizing bouts of loneliness and apathy.

If I didn't have them, I would just be lying in my bed, in the utter darkness, staring up at the ceiling, wishing there was something, anything at all, that I cared about.

So I got my BA and master's degree, and all the while, every day, I asked myself why I did anything at all. Why I was not happy.

Why I didn't care about anything.

Just about the only thing I cared about was the books I was writing, and even them, I felt this horrible notion that they were all I had, and yet, that was nothing. They were as empty as I was.

So anyway.

One day, I started researching bridges to throw myself off of.

And uh. Well. Not to go into any gory details, but there was one friend I had, a long distance internet friend, who got concerned and sent some of my more troubling messages to my mom.

Who then took me to a hospital. And anyway, that part actually isn't important. All that matters is that I got medicated.

And the world sort of turned itself over, and I could start over.

And then suddenly the world wasn't brighter, it wasn't happier, but I could feel things again.

I could have interests. I was interested in everything, the way I used to be.

And then I started to love movies again. and then I started to love TV shows again (Cocaine Bear and Severance come to mind first, not sure why, but that's irrelevant, I guess).

And finally, we come back...to novels.

So this year, I have been reading books. Great books. Some bad books.

And some wonderful.

And I just wanted...to talk about The Night Circus.

by Erin Morgenstern.

Because this book...was breathtakingly good. Like.

Like...I have been out of practice.

I have been reading some decent books. Books with great premises, but disappointing follow throw.

Some great books, but with predictable twists or rather tired prose. Books that I liked, but won't think about again.

And then I read Night Circus. And suddenly, I...I knew what it felt like. Again.

For the first time in maybe seven years, I suddenly remembered this feeling I used to have, as a child, hiding behind a bush during recess, and reading Redwall or Animorphs or Goosebumps.

I was almost giddy with the feeling, it was like stepping back in time.

Back to before I started hurting, and even before I started feeling nothing at all, and everything felt so bright. So filled with lively colors.

I was vibrating, I was so emotional, I was so invested.

I literally was about to go to bed at 2 am, a reasonable time, but the Night Circus picked up, and it was suddenly so imperative that I finish it right now. I could NOT tear myself away.

And I am close to tears.

Not just because the book was wonderful and sad.

Honestly, this is hilarious to me, but as much as I loved the book, I still found myself criticizing some of its makeup, specifically slow pacing and some of the meandering. There was also a somewhat anti climatic solution to a problem that I sort of wish had been explained sooner as a possibility.

But honestly, it doesn't matter at all! All that mattered was that it thrilled me! It fascinated me! It spoke to me directly and grabbed a hold of my heart.

It tore me away from what I was planning on doing and dragged me into its world, in its pages, and I was moved by the book!

It's so fucking hard to move me! Especially a novel.

Movies and TV shows can move me much easier, because there's something so very human about needing to see faces, hear voices, experience the raw emotions through a screen that captures it all.

But this novel....Night Circus...oh my god, I had not felt so powerfully fond of a story in a long time.

I finished it, and I thought, this was what it was like, being ten...and yet, at the same time, as familiar as it was, it was also something new.

This was rediscovering something beautiful and lovely and old and new. It was drudging up the past, while creating something worthwhile, in the present.

It was the good kind of hurt.

It'll stay with me forever.

I was so happy. I am so happy.

I never expected to love this book so much.

I honestly don't even care to call this a review. I almost don't even want to talk about the specifics of its plot or its world or anything.

I just wanted to talk about how wonderful it felt to be so immersed in anything again.

To fall into a book and never want to leave its pages, and to be jarred by reality, when you realize it's over.

I am so glad to be happy, after that long dull period where nothing mattered.

I am so happy to be here. I am so happy to be alive.

To watch a good movie, to see a good show, to write novels where good things happen, where love and despair and joy and misery all happen.

To read a spectacular book, late into the night.

If I die tomorrow, I will be most disappointed, but at least, I could experience the best things in life again.

At least, I remembered in the night before my passing, what it felt like to be inspired and shaken by the creation of another person, to be touched by art, that moves you and changes you irreversibly.

I want to read more.

I want to be alive for as long as I possibly can.

I want to see the world change and I want to live every day of my life and I want to watch every good movie and every good tv show, and I want to read hundreds of books again. I want to write thousands of books.

And I don't know how you, in particular, found me or this post, but I hope whoever you are, you're also doing things that you like.

I hope you find that story you need. or make the story you need.

I hope you remember this feeling, and experience this feeling for the first time.

Maybe Night Circus is your book, maybe it's not, but either way, I wish it upon all. Upon everyone.

Read, write, draw, watch, create.

Do it all, and then do none of it, and go the fuck to sleep.

[filmfanaticsblog]

Darry and Fem!Reader in highschool oneshot where she comes over for a movie night and gets to cuddle with her bf and hang around with his parents and younger brothers?

Meeting Darry Curtis’ Parents for the First Time (Darry Curtis x fem!reader)

(A/N: thank you so much for the ask KK!!)

word count: 793

You look through the hallways, trying to find your boyfriend, Darry. You find him quickly, with him being almost twice as tall as everyone else. You’re on your way to your last class, science. You hate everyone in there, they’re all too obnoxious. But Darry is in there, who you always whisper to, whether it’s, “What’s the answer to number 4?” or, “You look so good today” or even, “When is your game tonight?”

Today, he seemed a little more excited to talk to you than usual. He quickly walked to you to walk with you to science. “Hey, Y/N? Do you wanna come over tonight for a movie night? My parents and my brothers want to meet you.”

He had talked a lot about his family. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis loved to spend time with their boys. They seemed really sweet. He talked about his younger brothers, Sodapop and Ponyboy, a lot more. He said that they annoy him to death while he’s trying to do his homework, but nonetheless, they were brothers. and they loved each other. And to be fair, Sodapop was 15 and Ponyboy was 12. Soda and Darry have a 3 year age gap, making him 18 years old.

“Yeah sure! That sounds fun.” You respond, “What time do you want me to go over?”

“5:00 should be alright. You should have dinner with us too!”

Now that made you nervous. Sure, having a movie night with his parents made you a little nervous. But dinner? It felt like your heart rate went straight from 80 to 800. But it’s for Darry, do you go ahead and respond with, “Yeah! That sounds great,” trying to hide your anxiety from him.

“You don’t have to be nervous, Y/N. it’ll be alright. They’ll love you.”

You guys enter the science classroom and take your seats, stealing occasional glances at each other for the duration of class.

As the bell rang signaling the end of the day, you hugged and kissed goodbye, and he handed you a small crumpled paper with his address scribbled on it.

4:57PM.

You check the time on your watch, as you get out of your beat-up red pickup. You knock on the door, hoping and praying Darry is the one that opens it. It’s not. It’s Ponyboy.

“You must be Darry’s girlfriend! I’m Ponyboy!” was all Ponyboy could get out before Darry pushed him out of the way and said hi to you. He then took your hand and guided you to the kitchen, where his mother is at the table with Sodapop setting up the table for dinner.

“You must be Y/N! Darry has told us so much about you!” She exclaims excitedly, after she notices you and Darry standing in the doorway.

“Hi, Mrs. Curtis! It’s so nice to meet you. The food smells delicious!”

She smiles at you, thanking you. She then goes back to setting up the table, and Darry guides you to the living room, where Mr. Curtis is sat watching something on the TV. There’s another kid sitting on the ground in a Mickey Mouse shirt. Darry didn’t mention having another sibling..

“Y/N! So nice to finally meet you. Darry talks about you all the time.” You turn to Darry, seeing his face flushed with red.

“Dinner’s ready!” Mrs. Curtis calls, and before she even finished her sentence, Ponyboy and Mickey Mouse kid go running to the table. Mrs. Curtis made (Y/F/F), your favorite! You wonder if Darry told her your favorite food or if it was just a coincidence.

During dinner, questions are thrown at you left and right by Mr. and Mrs. Curtis, Ponyboy, and Sodapop. There were also a few here and there coming from Mickey Mouse kid, who you found out goes by “Two-Bit.”

After dinner, you all go to the living room while Mrs. Curtis cleans some of the dishes. You, Darry, and Sodapop are on the couch, Ponyboy and Two-Bit are on the ground in front of the TV, and Mr. Curtis is in a recliner.

When Mrs. Curtis comes into the living room, she sits in a rocking chair. The boys all debate on which movie to watch, and Darry gets fed up and grabs a random cassette tape from the stack and puts it in.

During the movie, your head is resting on Darry’s shoulder with his arm snaked around your waist and your hand playing with his hair. The movie ended an hour and a half later, and you said your goodbyes to everyone. Darry met you on the porch, saying his parents loved you and that you all should do it again. Now every other Friday, you go over to the Curtis’ and have a movie night with them.

[braceletofteeth]

5, 12, 17, 19!

❤️🧡💛bl ask game💚💙💜

5. Favorite Female Character

Mam from Never Let Me Go (I tried talking about it once before...). Actually, it'd probably be a tie between her and Tanya (from the same series).

But while I admire Tanya because she's this strong, respectable woman, with a truly unconditional love for her child, I still feel like Mam's “flaws” are more compelling to me.

Because- well. I've been the person who judges her, I've been her, and I've been her child. I've been through all of it. And I know how people look at and what they think about women like her—so I know how easy it would have been for the ones who directed the narrative to let its audience throw stones and condemn her character without giving her a chance to speak.

Her point of view doesn't make what she did right (or wrong, for that matter), but I appreciate that there was a space within conversations for her to voice some of her feelings. Her dilemmas, her regrets, her desires.

Many times in fiction, when it's a story focused on kids or teenagers, parents are portrayed as just that—someone's parent. A mom is just a mom, and her story ends where her child's begin. I liked that Mam was a woman, and a mother, who was neither there to be antagonized nor sanctified. I liked that she made a selfish decision, put herself first, and lived the life that she wanted, as fulfilling as it could be. I liked that she knew she couldn't have everything, but still gave herself the choice of what she would rather have, despite what was expected of her. I liked that she was honest with herself, and with the ones that she loved.

12. Most Rewatched BL

After discovering it, I watched Utsukushii Kare five times between May and December last year. Would have watched it even more this year, if it wasn't for the fact I'm only now having time to rest properly. I'm planning to do the next rewatch this month, preferably this week.

The reason why I've rewatched UK many more times than any other BL is that, well, for one, it's not lengthy. You can watch both seasons + the movie and that would be little more than an afternoon/night/morning. Plus you know you're gonna enjoy every second of that time.

It's hard for me to put into concise words why I like this drama so bad, because- Man, I like everything. I like the dynamic between the characters, I like them (and to study them) individually, I like the acting, I like the chemistry between the actors, I like the BEAUTIFUL AMAZING INCOMPARABLE original soundtrack made especially for it, I like the scenarios and the vibes, I like the colors and the lighting and the angles, the moving shots, the still shots, the tension and the timing. I like the humor, I like the drama, and I like the romance. I like the way they express themselves, the acts and words they use; when, where and how they use it. I like how so many little things are meaningful throughout the story. I like how they found the exact kind of love and support they needed in their lives. I like how protective they are over each other; how jealous, mesmerized and touched they can get. I like the co-dependency and the tangible yearning. I like how it's both so intense it's kinda crazy but also so tender it makes me wanna cry.

There's nothing ever made in this world that I'd rather watch more.

17. Best Kiss

(doesn't specify what kind of kiss, but I thought it was already hard enough deciding among the mouth-to-mouth ones—so those were all I took into consideration for this.)

This may sound like a basic answer, but as long as I have eyes, and ears, and a heart... it's got to be PatPran's Rooftop Kiss in Bad Buddy.

I tried not to reach a final verdict too fast and even rewatched some of my personal favorites (KinnPorsche's separation kiss on EP6 of KinnPorsche; NuengPalm's own rooftop kiss on EP5 of Never Let Me Go; SandRay's angry-desperate kiss on EP9 of Only Friends; and others from these same three series), but in the end... There's still nothing that can compare.

It's hard to breathe watching the moments that lead to that kiss. While they kiss, you can hear Pran crying. He kissed that man like that was the only kiss he'd ever get for the rest of his life. He kissed like he had waited for a thousand years, and a thousand more wouldn't be enough to recover after.

Good luck beating that.

19. Favorite Female Actor(s)

(sorry, couldn't decide on just one!)

I was recently captivated by Nina Nutthacha performance in Love Sea. I love how expressive she is, and how you can easily identify and sympathize with the emotions she's portraying. She did impressively well in both the humorous and emotionally poignant scenes. I'm looking forward to more of her works in the future! 💕

Another actress that I like is Samantha Melanie.

Ever since her character in Until We Meet Again won over my heart, seeing her show up in other series always makes me happy, no matter how brief her appearence is. She's the kind that brightens up a room just by being there (and. also she's so pretty 😳).

[irenewsky]

Anime I watched in 2023 (Part 1)

In honor of the new year, I’m gonna be casting a look back at the anime I watched last year. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a lot of free time to watch anime at the beginning of the year due to university kicking my ass, but after I finally graduated with my master’s degree, I could finally work through some of the backlog I had accumulated on Crunchyroll and Netflix.

Anyway, without further ado, this is a list of anime I watched in 2023 with some short descriptions and my own personal opinions. Let it be known, there is a lot of text in this one.

Also, since there ended up being a lot more shows that I watched than I thought there would be, this had to be cut in two -> Click here for part 2

Some of my older lists:

My favourite animes (Old. Tells of my tastes back in, like, 2018-2020 or something. Updated list coming once I get around to it)

Feel good anime Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Handa-kun

Handa Seishuu is a calligraphy prodigy and a high schooler. For years he has been living under the assumption that his student peers all hate him. This is, of course, a huge misunderstanding. In reality, Handa is very much admired in his school, to the point of being popular. Where did this misunderstanding stem from and how can it be resolved?

12 episodes - comedy, slice of life

I liked this one! Although I did have a little bit of distaste towards one of Handa’s so called friends. You’ll understand who and why if you decide to watch this.

Barakamon

Handa Seishuu, now a 25-year-old man, punches a famous, older calligrapher judging his latest work. As a consequence of his own actions, he is sent to live in small town in the countryside where a group of kids rutinely keeps breaking into his house. Beautiful friendships bloom between Handa and the people of this town.

12 episodes - comedy, seinen, slice of life

Took me an episode or two to get in to, but once I did I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Backflip!!

Shoutaro Futaba enters high school with intense love for sports, especially men’s rythmic gymnastics after he saw Shoushukan high school’s team perform in a competition. He enrolls into said high school and hopes to join the team despite not having any prior experience with gymnastics. Another boy, Ryouya Misato, get recruited alongside him and together with their senpais they start to work towards Inter-high tournament.

12 episodes and an OVA - sports

I started this in the beginning of the year and only got around to finishing it in November. Actually liked this one a lot! The final movie left me feeling so happy yet bittersweet. I recommend this one!

Skip and Loafer

Mitsumi Iwakura leaves her small countryside town and moves to Tokyo to live with her aunt in hopes that attending a prestigious high school would aid with her ultimate goals in life. As the new school year begins, Mitsumi leaves for school with high hopes, gets lost at the subway station, runs into classmate called Sousuke Shima and together the two barely make it to the entrance ceremony. What will her school life shape up to be?

12 episodes - romace, shojo

Nao-chan supremacy! The bestest aunt!

I really liked to animation animation style of this anime. For me, the show looks very soft and fresh in a spring and pastels kind of way. It’s hard to explain but I hope at least one person gets what I mean. I like the characters a lot and their interactions feel nice and grounded. The romance isn’t the main focus in this one, at least not in this season, which I liked since it’s always lovely to just see friendships put into the spotlight.

Buddy Daddies

What do you get if you combine two trained, professional assassins who live together and an accidental child acquisition? A riot of a family dynamic. Katsuki Kurusu and Rei Suwa fumble through their new shared life as parents to a four-year-old Miri Unasaka. What seemed like a temporary situation at first, stops looking temporary when genuine affection and care for the little girl and her well-being start to blossom in both men’s hearts.

13 episodes - action, comedy

This one was so good. I loved every minute of this and the characters’ dynamics worked so well together. Anyone in the shows comment section who complained about Miri being annoying had clearly never been around young children and it showed. Miri is a delightful little girl who loves her dads very much. There was also a fair bit of action in this which was a nice change of pace amidst all the parenthood things.

My New Boss Is Goofy

Momose Kentaro is a 26-year-old office worker working for a marketing firm, Minette. He is new to the job, having just recently quit his previous job due to power harrassement and abuse he received from his former boss. Can his new clumsy and little goofy manager Shirosaki Yuusei make him feel comfortable in his new job?

12 episodes - comedy, slice of life

I love everything about this show. The characters, the storylines in each episode, the art style. This just makes you feel happy and a little giddy. Definitely my favourite show of the year. This one earned the top spot on my rewatchable shows list.

If you liked Play It Cool, Guys or The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague, you might like this one.

Ron Kamonohashi’s Forbidden Deductions

Kamonohashi Ron was the best stundent of an elite detective school until an incident took away his future career path and made him live as a recluse as he refused to receive any information about the world outside his four walls. One day a police detective Totomaru Isshiki is adviced to approach Ron about a series of cases that have stumped the police for a while now. But because Ron is not allowed to do any sleuthing, Totomaru has to work as Ron’s puppet of sorts. Oh, and there is also the thing about having to keep Ron from influencing the killers to take their own lives. Oh well.

13 episodes - comedy, mystery

I’m a sucker for anything ’Sherlock Holmes’ type of media so this show was right up my alley. Eagerly waiting for the confirmed second season.

Play It Cool, Guys

Group of goofy and clumsy guys from different stages of life happen to meet one another and develop heartwarming friendships. Little mishaps won’t ruin their day!

24 (short) episodes - slice of life

Easily one of my favourites of the year. Watching this felt like sipping a cup of hot green tea while wrapped up in a blanket. Instant rewatch.

If you enjoyed The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague or My New Boss is Goofy, you might also like this one

Vanitas no Karte

A vampire named Noé Archiviste is looking for a book called ’the book of Vanitas’ in the 19th century Paris, when he unexpectedly meets a man calling himself Vanitas and carries the book he’s searching for. The Vanitas he meets isn’t the original maker of the book but a doctor who possesses the ability to save vampires by returning their true names to them.

24 episodes - action, fantasy, mystery

Me, mere minutes into the first episode: ”If anything were to happen to Noé, I would kill everyone in this room and the myself.” Anyway, love me some vampire action, especially with that late 1800s, early 1900s Paris vibe. Delicious.

Vampire Dies in No Time

One day vampire hunter Ronald is tasked to infiltrate a castle and save a woman’s son. Things don’t quite go as he expected. Inside the palace, he meets a vampire called Draluc, who is truly so pathetically weak that he turns to ash from smallest of things that ahppen to startle him, and Draluc’s companion, armadillo John. The kid he seeked was totally fine and playing with Draluc’s video games. Oh and Draluc’s castle gets destroyed. Yeah… Ronald has a new roommate now.

2 seasons - comedy, supernatural

This truly is armadillo John’s world and we’re just living in it.

Love me some more vampire action. Only this time it’s a lot less angsty and violent and a lot more ridiculous and goofy. I laughed so much while watching this.

[lavander-gooms]

Fellas, I think I finally got (noir) Peter Parker's age.

Alright, I know what you may be thinking, that you've read posts like this before that basically end with "erm they say he's a kid so I uhh guess he's 19" (we've all thought this ngl).

Let us begin, shall we?

This mostly began because I hated Felicia and Peter together.

I love Peter's noir comics so much, everything Peter goes through is such awesome writing and symbolism (Peter swearing to take power away from people who abuse it and then ends up abusing his own power ahgdgsgdgag) but Felicia' and Peter's "love story" weirdo lust pedo sub plot gave me the major ick.

Tbh I got tired of people defending this ship because they "didn't know Peter's age". I really wanted to prove them wrong. So I am.

And I just want to know.

Let's boogy.

Peter is referred to as a kid numerous times.

Above are most of the times Peter is called/referred to as a kid in the first comic run (which was only three issues).

I couldn't fit all of them, gosh darn Tumblr.

Anyways, it's clear that Peter appears as a child to all of the character, due to all of them referring to his as a kid. Every character he interacts with as Peter Parker calls him "kid" or "son" or "boy" (etc.). He obviously appears as/is a kid, or they wouldn't have made it a point to keep saying this.

Okay, so this means Peter's a kid. We can eliminate all ages over 21 and under 12. You were considered an adult at age 21 (age of consent was 18- https://worldhistorycommons.org/age-consent-laws -). And I think we can all agree that Peter isn't 12.

My next idea was to turn to the original age of when most Peter Parkers were bit. The problem is, it's all at scattered ages. The most common one I found was he was bit at 15.

But is noir Peter Parker really 15? No. Bear with me.

I came to this conclusion and sank to the ground and cried out in agony. Truly noir Peter Parker's age was a mystery, I thought. So I gave up.

But I was rereading the comic, and noticed a tiny tiny detail I overlooked upon my past rereads.

Here is the comic panel where the Goblin dies via spidery-Kraven, and Peter just watches. While Peter is watching, he thinks back to the time Uncle Ben snuck him in to see Frankenstein.

Okay, there are two versions of Frankenstein Peter could be talking about here.

The first Frankenstein that ever came out was the 16 minute long version on March 18th, 1910. Now, that's way further back than I think Ben would've taken Peter to go see it, as AT MOST (if he's 21) Peter was born in 1912. It is possible Ben took Peter to see a rerun of the 1910 version, but reruns were incredibly rare and the 1910 version of Frankenstein was deemed to be lost until the 1950s (I don't know WHEN it was lost). If Peter was taken to see the 1910s version as a child it could have given him nightmares. But I really doubt this is the Frankenstein movie Peter was referencing.

The second movie is the one I believe to be the movie Peter saw with Ben. This Frankenstein came out on November 21st, 1931. It fits much more with the time line, and fits the whole "couple years back" things (a couple means two to you guys too, right??).

Okay, so we know the date of the movie that Ben snuck Peter into. But, there is one very important word in that sentence. Snuck.

Either, a- Peter wasn't old enough to see the movie,

Or b- Aunt May didn't want him to see the movie.

The 1931 Frankenstein revolutionized the horror movie genre, and brought with it an outrage from the church and adults. It was censored mercilessly, and brought around the "H" rating that deemed anyone under the age of 16 was too young to see. But this came as a result of Frankenstein, in 1932ish in Britian and 1934ish in America. So when did Peter see the movie?

This is where my argument gets flimsy.

We can assume he saw the uncensored version as it gave him nightmares, so I speculatate he saw it around the same time as it's release date.

Peter was under 16 when he saw the Frankenstein movie, due to Ben having to sneak him into the movie.

OR

Peter was freshly 16 and begged Uncle Ben to let him see the movie, he's old enough isn't he? And Ben can't say no to his nephew so they sneak around Aunt May to go and see it together.

Either of these two are plausible, but I'm going to go with the second.

Mostly all the Peter Parkers were born around August/October, so we'll keep that.

On November 21st, 1931 (or whenever he saw the movie) Peter Parker is 16 years old.

Which, one year later, makes him 17. And as the comics take place January 1933, we can make the safe assumption that Peter is 17. Which means in September, he's 18/about to turn 18.

Whew. I think I got it. If you have any other stuff please give it to me 🙏

Felicia and Peter relationship study coming soon.

[casper-the-rose]

Hiya!! The name is 🇵🇱 Anon!! Its nice to meet ya!!

I have a little request for you!! I thought of this one, and i thought why not send it to someone so here i am!! but feel free to delete this anytime if its to intense but anyways…!

Could i request Eddie Munson or Gareth with a Famous! S/O? (Maybe… something like Elvis Presley Famous? Where girls are all over them, and etc, its from that movie, it was really good so i would suggest watching it so it makes sense and etc)

Thats it!! I can send more later on lol, but thats it!! Thank you :D

Im sorry it took me so long to get to this request, but i'm finally back in a writing mood!! Also i did not watch the elvis movie

Fame has its price

Gareth Emerson x Famous!S/O

Mostly fluff, but at the end kinda angsty? I might try and write something similar later but with Gareth as the famous one and it leans more heavily towards angst.

Warnings- cursing more towards the end, also at the end the reader gets "hugged" by an adult fan without consent- very brief though im pretty sure

1.4k words

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🥁💀💀🥁💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Your laugh.

God it got him every time.

"Good night New York City!" You were announcing to your crowd of adoring fans, smiling through your sentence.

As long as Gareth could remember, music had brought you two together.

First time you met?

Kindergarten battle of the bands. Both of your practically clawed each others eyes out trying to get to the kiddie drum set. Who would've guessed that would lead to a 10+ year long friendship? Well, technically 12, but it's not like anyone was counting. Especially Gareth.

In middle school everyone in the crowd watched in awe as you sang your heart out during the school's talent show, obviously winning first place.

And there were times when Eddie even begged you to sing for Corroded Coffin, just one song. And of course when he couldn't convince you all Gareth had to do was ask once.

You would do anything for him.

Including convincing your agent to let Corroded Coffin open all your shows for your most recent tour across America.

Gareth's eyes darted back up to you on stage, looking around for the sign it was clear to make your way off while people tried to claw their way onto it. You were still smiling and waiving, but Gareth could see the tenseness in your smile.

But that was something to worry about another day.

Right now most of security was busy pushing teenagers and even some adults back from the stage. You tried your best to not visibly back away, but it was still necessary if you didnt want to be clawed at and pulled off the stage by strangers. Fame had its price, and a heavy one at that.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look Eddie, as much as I would love cheap, greasy gas station quality pizza at the moment, I really don't feel like being torn apart limb by limb for even daring to appear in public." You sighed, after Eddie had spent the last 15 minutes trying to convince you to go out with him and the band.

"Don't make me do it Y/N," Eddie warned, glaring at you.

"Oh you wouldn't dare." You glared back.

"Emersonnnnn, theres something I wanna ask youuuuuu!" Eddie shouted, before glancing at you and smirking.

"Don't believe a single word out of Eddie's mouth Gare! Its full of lies!" You shouted back.

Before you knew it Eddie was running out of the room you were staying in and practically slammed Gareth to the floor trying to get a hold of him.

"Ow! The fuck was that for?"

"You agree Y/N over here should treat themself to a little slice of commoners pizza before we have to get back on the road right? C'mon man all I need is for you to ask them once, hell not even ask ask, just allude to it and- "

Just then you ran into the room, out of breath.

"How the hell are you so much faster than me Munson?" You wheezed, hands on your knees.

"Too late Y/L/N! I've already asked my good pal over here too-"

"How about we have something delivered here and have a movie night?" Gareth cut Eddie off with a sigh.

"Hmph. Guess thats a good compromise." Eddie muttered, but still crossed his arms.

"See Munson? My amazing boyfriend can't be tricked by your lies and deception. And he's always looking out for everyone involved." You smiled, before hugging Gareth from behind.

"Anything for my lovely partner. It would be really inconvenient to have to stitch all your body parts back together after you get torn to shreds by an adoring mob." Gareth smiled, turning his head to look you in the eye.

"No one else I would rather have sew my body back together."

"And no mob could ever adore you more than I do." Gareth said, before leaning in to kiss you.

"Ew! Get a room you two, before I call the paparazzi." Jeff groaned, having walked into the room at a considerably awkward moment.

You rolled your eyes before turning to Eddie.

"So, what place are you gonna order pizza from?"

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wake up sleepy head." Gareth said, before nudging you a bit.

"I'm already awake." You muttered, but still didnt move from your position under the bed sheets.

"As much as I would hate to do this lovebug, if you dont move soon i'm gonna have to pull the covers out from over you, leaving you exposed to the harsh element known as the ceiling fan-"

You dramatically gasped. "I thought you loved me?"

"More than anything, but that does mean I have to do what is best for you sugar."

You groaned, but sat up.

"Is this good enough?"

"For now, but you know you'll have to get dressed soon enough. You sure you want to walk today and not just get a cab or something?"

"Yes Gare Bear I'm sure. It's not that long a walk anyway."

"Still don't get why the bus can't just pick us up here." He muttered.

"They say it would draw too much attention to the hotel."

"Yeah because us having to walk there wouldn't."

Gareth gave you one last hug before leaving the room.

~~~~~~~~~

"The great outdoors don't seem so great anymore." Eddie muttered.

You all were stopped on a sidewalk, on account of you practically being swarmed by fans to sign autographs and take pictures. Some people were even trying to seemingly jump on you, and others were clawing on your clothes just so you would turn their way.

Some people were talking to the Corroded Coffin boys, much to Eddie's delight and Gareth's annoyance, but you were definitely the star of the show.

You turned and gave Gareth an apologetic look that said 'I really did just want to take a walk' and he shook his head knowingly.

"Okay, I'm gonna have to wrap this up soon. Sorry guys but-"

Just then someone pulled you by the shoulder and by impulse you turned around, only to crash into what you realized was a man who was much bigger than you's torso.

"Um, excuse me sir- I-I don't know what you're trying to do here but-" You stuttered as you tried to wiggle free, not even being able to look around.

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. That was the main thought going through your head right now.

"Hey, you're a real pretty thing huh?" The man started, cutting you off.

"How about y-" Before the man could even finish his sentence you found yourself being pulled free and arms wrapping around you tightly, but this time you welcomed the embrace.

"Listen here you sick little fuck. Does this get you off? Trying to kidnap underage musical sensations in broad daylight in front of witnesses and bystanders?" Gareth started, and you realized the rest of the band members were standing around you. You also realized most of the people that were there before for autographs and whatnot, had left.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll fuck off and never speak of this again. Or hell, even pay to get a ticket for one of their shows. Got it?"

"Yeah creep. 4 against one." Eddie chimed in.

You noticed the man say something under his breath, before quickly looking around and leaving.

You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding.

"A-are you okay Y/N? I swear to fucking god if anything bad happened to you on my watch I-I- I don't know what I'd do." Gareth let go of you and walked in front of you so you could look him in the eyes. You noticed he was on the verge of tears.

"I don't know Gare." You sighed.

"Do you wanna keep walking? Or just get a ride?" Jeff asked, concern in his voice.

Everyone was looking at you with worried eyes, but it didn't bother you as much as you would've thought it would.

Fame has its price sure, but you have people watching out for you.

Not just hired security guards, or brands who just want to make money off of you talent.

No, real people who know the real you, and really care.

Especially Gareth.

And you were okay with that.

"I think we can keep walking."

With Gareth's arm around your shoulder and Eddie leading the way, you all walked to the tour bus, prepared for your next destination.

And you had a sense everything was gonna be alright.

[trivialbob]

Yesterday Sheila and I rode bikes on an 18-mile loop we like through Minneapolis. It took us three hours.

Two miles im my front tire popped. I have no idea what I ran over, but the tire was flat before I came to a stop.

Luckily I had tools, a pump, and a spare tube. It's been a while since I changed a tube. This time I accomplished the task in under five minutes, barely getting my hands dirty.

With that taken care of we re-started the ride. The Minneapolis Greenway is in better shape that previous years. The path has been repaved and re-striped. No tents were set up along the way.

When we got off the Greenway we went to one of my favorite local bike shops, Hub Bike Coop. Sheila pet the dog that was in there; I looked at bikes and bought two new tubes for spares (one for each of our bikes).

Years ago I put a Hub Bike Coop sticker on my old Corolla. Matt ended up with that car. The Hub sticker and another for the University of Wisconsin remained on the car while Matt lived in New York, Connecticut, and New Hampshire. It's a Corolla, so despite being nearly two decades years old I like to think that little blue car with my two stickers is still banging around somewhere on the east coast.

From the bike shop we pedaled south to Venn Brewing. An Australian Shepherd and three other dogs were inside. Sheila pet all of them. For her drink she ordered a Fruited Plains: Grapefruite Wheat. After taking a sip of it, I ordered the same thing. Wow, what an excellent beer on a warm day while biking.

Then we headed south and east to Lake Nokomis. There's a concession stand there where we've ordered beer before. Yesterday we saw a sign posted by the counter stating no beer and wine sales.

The place had been serving alcohol illegally for 12 years. Someone finally noticed that there isn't sufficient "covered seating" to allow beer and wine sales. Good thing after a dozen years of alcoholic chaos someone put an end to that madness and pulled the liquor license.

Still thirsty, we headed west along Minnehaha Parkway to Chicago Ave. Then it was just two blocks north to the Town Hall Tap. Sheila had a blood orange lager while I went with the Masala Mama IPA.

We sat at a table on the front sidewalk and split an appetizer. People watching was decent. Sheila, however, thought it was "people talking." She had nice comments for everyone who walked by.

"Oh I like that dress you're wearing." The woman in it was flattered and chatted with Sheila briefly.

"That's a cool tattoo." That woman also stopped to talk with Sheila, explaining how there was still a lot of coloring to be added to it and what it was going to look like. The tattoo parlor two storefronts away.

"Those are nice sandals. Are the straps a light auburn brown, or is that a darker eggshell (free range, not grocery store egg)?"

Now do you understand why it took us three hours to complete the loop?

Next door to Town Hall Tap is a theater. An old movie projector sits in front of the building. A theater employee told me it had been in use there from about 1945 to 1965.

Next to the theater is the Creekside Supper Club. As Sheila talked to everyone walking down Chicago Avenue, I went over to check the supper club's menu. Next time we are in that neighborhood I want to eat there. Maybe I can also find out how that woman's tattoo coloring is coming along.

Finally we paid our tab. Sheila said goodbye to all her new friends and acquaintances. Then we rode more of Minnehaha Parkway over to Lake Harriet where the car was parked. We thought about getting a beer at the Lake Harriet concession stand (which apparently does have sufficient covered seating). But after seeing all the bike shop and brewery dogs, we wanted to get home to our dogs.

At home we swapped two bikes for three Aussies and went to our local brewery. Sheila went to get us a beer. Oliver, Sulley, and Ella would not stop staring in the direction she went. Sheila always comes back, but they don't trust me on that.

The food truck on site served pizza. We didn't want any. The dogs had other ideas.

[mitchipedia]

"You've got me? Who's got you!" Rewatching the 1978 "Superman" movie starring Christopher Reeve

The 1978 “Superman,” starring Christopher Reeve, launched the superhero film genre as it exists today. We rewatched it recently, enjoyed it, and I recommend it.

However, the movie takes a painfully long time to get going.  

”Superman” starts with pages turning on the 1938 Action Comics issue that launched the Superman character, narrated by a child’s voice-over. We did not remember this from seeing the movie previously. We wondered whether we had accidentally rented the wrong version of “Superman.” We had not. Onward. 

Then we go to Krypton, where the movie creeps forward. We see Marlon Brando as Superman’s father, Jor-El, wearing white stunt hair and a turtleneck with the Superman logo in it.

I wish the phrase “phoning it in” was not a cliche so I could use to to describe Brando’s performance. He drones on and on, making one speech after another. 

He’s concluding the prosecutor’s statement in the trial of three insurrectionists (ripped from the 2020s headlines!), who end up being sentenced to the Phantom Zone. I’m sure we won’t see these insurrectionists again—they won’t be any trouble and will not turn up in “Superman II.”

General Zod, played by Terence Stamp, is the leader of the trio, and his scenery-chewing is the only good part of this scene.

I saw “Superman” with friends in the theater during its first run in 1978, and I was very excited to tell them after the movie all about the Phantom Zone. I even guessed that the three villains would feature in the movie sequel. I was very proud of myself for this. Possibly related: It took me a long time to lose my virginity.  

Jor-El warns the leadership council of Krypton that the whole planet is about to explode within a month. The leaders say this is fake news because they did their own research on YouTube. The council nopes out on evacuating the planet and tells Jor-El he can’t tell anybody about his beliefs or else he’ll be an insurrectionist (that word again). A sensible person would have told the council to fuck right off because the council was not going to have any clout after the ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET EXPLODES. But Jor-El just goes along with it.

Brando goes back home, where he and his wife (if her name is spoken, I didn’t hear it) put on matching glowy silver lamé jumpsuits. They put their baby in a spaceship. Before sending the baby off to Earth, Marlon Brando makes a very long speech, while his wife looks at him with an expression like she wants him to shut up because she needs to pee. 

Then we’re off to Earth, to whip through young Clark Kent’s childhood. The costumes and cars and brilliant. The scenery from the Kent farm is beautiful, but there is way too much of it. Can we get this movie moving already?

Clark challenges his father to run from the end of their driveway to the barn. Pa Kent has a heart attack and dies. Clark never mentions his own role in Pa’s death. That seems odd.

Next stop: the North Pole, where young Clark spends 12 years being lectured by the holographic Marlon Brando, and we, in the audience watching the movie, get to experience every painful second of those 12 years. 

All this time, Clark is played by an actor who is not Christopher Reeve and doesn’t even look much like Christopher Reeve. This guy:

But after 12 years at the North Pole, demonstrating powers of super-boredom-resistance, Clark becomes Christopher Reeve and emerges in his spiffy super-suit, which makes all the girls swoon. He is a hunka hunka burnin love. The suit is very flattering, but he really should be wearing something modest below the waist and above the knee to better cover his prominent super-johnson. Maybe bermuda shorts with a festive luau pattern? 

And we’re off to Metropolis and the movie takes off and keeps going. Finally! Lois Lane is fast-talking and smart; Christopher Reeve transforms from a nebbishy Clark into a charismatic Supe through the power of acting. Gene Hackman, Ned Beatty, and Valerie Perrine are the villains, and they chew the scenery delightfully. The sets are gorgeous, particularly Lex Luthor’s lair in the underground lobby of Grand Central Station. Why is Grand Central Station abandoned and apparently nearly forgotten in this movie? Does it even matter? No, it does not. 

Lois’s costumes are the height of 70s couture. The first thing we see her in is a nice skirt and blouse. And the skirt has pockets. And they look like BIG pockets. In some ways, technology has gone backward since 1978.

The Daily Planet newspaper takes up an entire skyscraper and has a helicopter to shuttle reporters around. I started work at a daily newspaper not long after “Superman” came out—we didn’t even have a budget to buy coffee for the staff. Employees had to pay for their own.  

Lois arranges an interview with Superman, which turns into a date. He flies her around the skies above Metropolis. She recites a love poem in her mind. The poem is painfully bad. It is like watching someone you like embarrass themselves in a talent competition.  

We see a very neatly dressed and well-groomed mugger. Nice blazer, turtleneck sweater. He needs a closer shave, but we’re otherwise good.

It’s part of a whole sequence of Superman’s day’s work, as he stops a cat burglar heist, rescues Air Force One after it loses an engine, and rescues a little girl’s cat from a tree. 

The ending of the movie, where Lois Lane dies (spoiler for a 45-year-old super-popular movie—don’t DM me!) is surprisingly dark. She’s smothered after being buried in an earthquake and we see all of it happening. But Superman quickly brings her back from the dead with his superpowers. 

Superman’s flying SFX are every bit as good and dazzling now as they were in 1978. Oh, some of the matte shots with the New York City skyline in the background are a little fake, but Superman’s movements are brilliant. A one-second bit where Superman changes from his Clark street clothes into his superhero costume while in flight is just wonderful—nothing much today but brilliant in the pre-CGI era that this movie was made in. Some of the other special effects, like Hoover Dam disintegrating and a downstream town flooding, are a little obviously done with miniatures but they still look fine.  

(Why do the sfx look fake now but not in 1978? I have a theory. In 1978, we saw these sfx on the big screen, where they looked great. They might still look great today on a big screen. Soon after, we saw the movie on smaller TVs, with lower quality screens than today, and the sfx still looked great. But today’s high-quality TVs make the sfx look fake—the screens aren’t big enough to compensate for the flaws revealed by the high definition.)

The movie can’t decide if it’s a camp superhero parody, or a serious superhero movie. It would have been better if it toned down the broad comedy and made Lex Luthor more scary.

Reeve’s acting carries the movie. There’s a scene that’s famous among fans where Lois Lane and Clark Kent are in the living room of her apartment. She leaves the room, and he decides to tell her he’s Superman. Until that moment, he’s a shlub, round-shouldered and with a goofy expression on his face. He stands up straight, squares his shoulders and jaw and takes off his glasses—and now he’s Superman. He starts to tell her. His voice as Clark is querulous and shaky, but Superman has a firm baritone. And he changes his mind, slumps his shoulders, puts on his glasses and now he’s Clark the shlemiel again. It all goes by in a few seconds, but it’s striking. 

Even the special effects are carried by Reeve’s acting. “You will believe a man can fly,” was the marketing slogan for the movie when it was released. You believe it in large part because Reeve was hanging from wires, moving like a person flying. Acting. )

I don’t have anything to say about John Williams’ musical score for the movie, except that it’s brilliant. I’m going to carry a Bluetooth speaker with me and play that score every time I enter a room. 

Overall, well worth a watch. Maybe skip the first 48 minutes though. You don’t need to see it. You already know Superman’s original story.  

Superman is my favorite superhero. He is optimistic and hopeful. He knows there is great evil in the world, but he knows that there is also great good, and he serves that good—“truth, justice and the American way." He knows some of what he says is corny and he says it anyway because he believes it. He is nearly all-powerful and invulnerable, but he is in awe of human beings because we are neither of those things, and yet we are capable of great kindness, nobility, and courage.

Sloppy Internet research

Four-year-old Clark Kent is played by an actor named Aaron Smolinski, who went on to a bit role in the 2013 Superman movie “Man of Steel” and also as Lex Luthor in a movie called “Superman: Solar,” which seems to be either an indy or fan-made Superman movie that got terrible reviews.

Larry Hagman has a cameo as an Army Major, making a joke that doesn’t age well. 

John Ratzenberger plays an air traffic controller. He went on to play Cliff from “Cheers,” and do a lot of voice-overs for Pixar movies.  

Kirk Allyn, who played Superman in 1940s Superman movies, has a cameo as Lois Lane’s father. When Clark is a boy in Smallville, little girl Lois sees Clark while passing through on a train, and Allyn appears in that scene. via

Noel Neill, who played Lois Lane in 1940s movies and the 1950s Superman TV series, also has a cameo. She’s Lois Lane’s mother in the same scene. via

“According to Sir Roger Moore’s autobiography, he witnessed Christopher Reeve walking through the canteen at Pinewood Studios in full Superman costume, oblivious to the swooning female admirers he left in his wake. When he did the same thing dressed as Clark Kent, no one paid any attention.” via

The Incomparable Mothership podcast did an episode about their “Superman” rewatch. They hated it. I don’t disagree with their criticisms, but for me, the virtues of the movie made up for its flaws. I enjoyed listening to the episode.

What happened to the actors

Marlon Brando continued working until his death in 2004. “Apocalypse Now” came out soon after “Superman.” His work in later life included two movies I quite enjoyed: “The Freshman” and “Don Juan DeMarco,” both of which are about charismatic rogues (though he only played the rogue in one of those movies). Brando also features in a delightful 2009 novel, “Chronic City,” by Jonathan Lethem, which explores the theme of whether we can believe anything or truly perceive reality. Brando isn’t a character in the novel. The characters can’t agree whether Brando is alive or dead, and the Internet is no help.  

Margot Kidder struggled with mental health in later life. Her 2018 death was ruled a suicide. via

As of April 2023, Valerie Perrine, age 79, was suffering from advanced Parkinson’s and needed a hydraulic lift to get into and out of bed. The Hollywood Reporter did an excellent profile—recommended reading: Ailing ‘Superman’ Star Valerie Perrine Finally Finds Her Hero: “The Guy Should Be Sainted”:

Perrine insists she wants no pity and regrets nothing about her Technicolor life: not one affair (she’s been romantically linked to everyone from Jeff Bridges to Elliott Gould to Dodi Fayed); not one hit of acid (she’s taken LSD more than 400 times, by her estimation); not one career move (well, she probably should have said yes to 1981’s Body Heat and no to 1980’s Can’t Stop the Music, the Village People-starring megaflop she says killed her career, but you can’t win them all).

She sounds fantastic. 

Gene Hackman has been retired for about 20 years. As of March, he was fit and healthy at age 93, spotted doing yardwork, buying and eating fast food, and pumping his own gas. 

Christopher Reeve died in 2004, after being paralyzed in 1995 in a horse-riding accident. 

Terence “General Zod” Stamp was one of the stars of “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.” He played a drag queen named Bernadette. 

Sarah Douglas, who played Ursa, one of General Zod’s cronies, appeared in a lot of B science fiction movies and TV shows, including one called “Strippers vs. Werewolves.” 

Which Superman II?

We want to watch Superman II, which I remember as being even better than the first Superman, which was itself great. But which version?

Richard Donner directed the original movie and started directing on Superman II, but was fired, and Richard Lester was hired as a replacement. Donner had already done a lot of work, and Lester reshot many scenes and shot more. The Lester version was the original theatrical release, which I saw in theaters. We saw a fan cut of the Donner version in the early 2000s and did not care for it. It was unfinished. Some of the scenes were audition scenes; I remember some other scenes had cheap SFX that looked like they’d been done on 1990s home PCs.

Soon after we saw the fan cut of the Donner version, an official—and presumably more polished—version was released. We haven’t seen that.  

I think when we do a rewatch, we’ll go with the original, theatrical version, directed by Lester. According to Internet discussion—for example, here—the official Donner version, while more polished than the fan cut we watched, is still unpolished and unfinished. And the theatrical version is lighter than the Donner version, while still having some serious moments. Generally, I like my superhero movies light; when they get dramatic and heavy I start having difficulty suspending disbelief.

[charlesandmiranda]

Arrival!

Writing to you this morning from our hotel breakfast! Just wanted to fill in everyone about the rest of our trip before we start our first full day. I doubt we'll be able to post EVERY SINGLE DAY WE'RE HERE but we're definitely gonna try and keep it frequent enough to be interesting!

From our last post, we were heading from Baltimore to Toronto, which was a very quick hour and a half-ish flight. From Toronto, we headed straight to our gate to which started boarding shortly thereafter, so it was a pretty quick turn around. It was almost kind of a shame because airport was actually kinda pretty, and I wouldn't have hated a few extra minutes to look around at all the really lavishly decorated restaurants and stuff.

Then came the 14 hour flight. It IS a very long time, don't get me wrong, and by the end my back was VERY achy and my legs definitely craved stretching but also they keep the windows closed and the lights low for most of the trip so you honestly kind of lose track of how long you've been on there.

Charles and I both watched some movies on the flight; we started the first two episodes of Severance (which was also provided on the flight and I've been curious about for a while anyway -- anyone else here seen it?) and played games on our Switches. I also read a lot; I loaded my e-reader up before we left. In a weird way it was kind of nice to have such a long, uninterrupted time where there was nothing to do but leisure activities even if you're doing them in a mostly uncomfortable way --I think Charles and I (Charles especially) struggle with justifying how we spend our free time, always feeling like there has to be something else we can be working on or doing, but it's kind of a bad habit and terrible mental state to always be in, so we're working on it. Unfortunately, neither of us managed to get much sleep on the flight despite our best efforts, I think I managed maybe 20 minutes total?? So it wasn't super restful for sure.

Thankfully, our flight was kinda ahead of schedule, and we ended up landing around 5:00 PM / 17:00 which is like....3:00 AM for those of you in the Eastern US timezone! We're 12 hours ahead of y'all, so when I'm writing this, I'm writing to you from the future!!!

After getting through customs and immigration, baggage, etc. we were stopped by a news crew from a show called Why Did You Come To Japan? They seem to stop tourists at the airport pretty regularly, and we ended up talking to them for a while. Charles said that as someone who used to be a camera guy himself, he always tries to stop for folks filming stuff like that, because he knows how hard it can be to get people to talk to you and work with you. They were very interested in the fact it was our honeymoon, and that we got engaged here, and even more interested that we were really into Oishinbo, which is a food manga from the 80s/90s. It's not super popular in the US although personally I love & recommend it, and I kinda get the impression from the crew we spoke to that it's a classic but kinda old fashioned here. They said in all their years of doing these interviews, it was their first time having a foreigner mention it. They gave us a card and a slip of paper and asked us to contact them again, because they may be interested in meeting up with us again later in our trip to film more for the show (!?) so we'll see how that pans out I guess!

Speaking of, after we finally left the airport, we took the Skyliner train to Nippori, and then transferred to a JR Line train to get us to Shinjuku station. We've stayed in Shinjuku for at least part or all of our trips in the past, and it kind of feels like a home base for us now. We usually stay in or around the Kabukicho area, which is known as an entertainment district with lots of nightlife. If you want brilliantly lit signs and that crowded cyberpunk-y look, Kabukicho is a great place to be!

NOT THAT IT SUPER MATTERS, BUT the card in the photo, with Hello kitty and other Sanrio characters on it, is a Pasmo card, we each got one. Basically it's a little card that you can add money to, and you can use it to pay fare on most trains and buses, as well as lots of vending machines and stuff like that. You can top it off as you go as well.

We checked in to our hotel, the Shinjuku Gracery, and IMMEDIATELY needed to stretch out on the bed and shower the sweaty airport off of us, haha. The Gracery is built on top of a Toho Cinema movie theater, and the whole hotel has a very classy Godzilla theme to it. There's a to-scale Godzilla head built on top of part of the building, looking like he's about to demolish it, and he roars and blows steam out of his mouth, haha. To be honest, a night in the Gracery is one of our "we're on our honeymoon, we deserve this!" splurges -- it's one of the more expensive parts of our trip, given the rest of the time we'll be staying in smaller hotels and airbnbs and the like. We dished out a little extra cash to stay in what they call a Godzilla view room, where you can see the head of Godzilla that is mounted to the roof of the hotel from your room! Totally cool. I had to include specifically a picture of the shower, because I loooove these big hotel showers!

(sadly the filter for this exhibit not only doesn't fit my phone screen but also insanely reduced the image quality LOL)

We took a rest, then headed out to get a bite to eat. We hit up a ramen shop we'd been to in the past, and spent a while walking around the Kabukicho area, including the micro-bar district, Golden Gai. It was interesting to see what's changed and what hasn't since we were here last; for example, they were in the process of demolishing a VR arcade when we were last here, and now there's an ENORMOUS, lux-looking hotel in its place!

We ended up in the unfortunate position of feeling physically very tired but mentally pretty awake, and even though we spent time in our hotel room soaking in the bath, it was probably 1 AM our time before we actually fell asleep, meaning we were up for like....32 hours straight, I think?

Today, our plan is to check out a few shops in the area around Kabukicho, and a little later we'll be checking out and moving on to Akihabara, where our next hotel is. It's well known for being crammed with electronics and used and new like....nerd stuff, and is pretty close to a district jam packed with guitar shops, so we'll have a pretty full day! Stay tuned I suppose!!

Til next time!

[dracophile]

For ao3 writing thing

🍓🍹🍄

Yay, someone sent some! :D

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I believe I was in middle school, early 2000s. I rented a book called Dragon's Bait by Vivien Vande Velde from my local library. This book probably had a bigger impact on me than a certain wizard book ever did. I loved it, it started my obsession with dragons, and It ended in such a way that the main characters, Alys and Selendrile, could continue to have many adventures together and eventually fall in love. But it didn't show that part, which i found frustrating at the time. I started daydreaming and imagining those adventures, writing them down in an old notebook. That's right, I wrote analog fanfiction. Mainly because I was like 11 and I had no idea that was a thing on the internet yet. Eventually by browisng I found the old FF.Net, before it coroded away, and live journal and all that and started reading fics for anime I liked, then I finally got the courage to start writing. Dragon's Bait still remains one of my favorite books though (I also like Never Trust a Deadman, Heir Apparent, Companions of the Night by the same author)

I...can't find 🍹??? It looks like a combo of 🥤and 🧃(both drinks with straws?) so...I'll just do both

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

It feels like forever since I've sat and read a fanfic tbh...besides a one shot here and there. But I will say, @fairy-writes is great! I don't know some of the series she writes for, but she does a lot of readerxcharacter here on tumblr and what I read is compelling and emotional with great characterization. Book authors, I already recommended Vivian Vande Velde for a good all ages book. For a bit more adult books, I like Maria V. Snyder's books, Gail Carriger, and Lynn Flewelling

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

Personal lore about me? Um...When I was young, like ages 10, 11, and 12, my parents sent me to horse riding camp during the summer. I love horses, but I wasn't a horse girl. It's just, y'know, Texas and it was an easy one to find nearby and if i had to do summer camp I wanted to be able to ride a horse. Well, that year i was twelve, they decided to try and scare us with the story of a psycho in the woods. Except one of the counselors took it too far and ransacked the cabins a little (no damage but messing stuff up) and then tapping on the windows to scare us. A lot of us were scared and one girl started crying. The councilor in our cabin then told her it wasn't real and they were just trying to scare us, and I overheard her. I had two flashes of emotion then: Anger and the desire for revenge. And I don't know how I thought of this so fast--maybe because I'd started watching horror movies by now and liking them--but I asked her "So who was dragging the sack through the woods by the campfire?" I didn't see that, but I was so adamant I saw that and had such a docile reputation that the counselor ran off to talk to the head counselor. I saw their flashlights in the night. It was the last day of camp anyway but no one got much sleep. One counselor did ask if I lied before my mom came and I said "It's just a story, calm down." I told my mom i probably shouldn't go back again though. That's the only time I've ever gaslit someone I swear XD

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I don't know of NIck/Sloane would count since Sloane is my OC so like...it's all headcannon there. Since most of my stuff written (well, all of it right now) on A03 is Grimm though, let's go with that. My other favorite ship is Monroe and Rosalee so let's see...I've gone into some on the fic...

One i haven't explored too much is their differences in diet. At the start of their relationship, Monroe would bend over backwards and almost hide his veganism because he'd had issues in the past with others finding it tedious or annoying. He's usually very proud of it, but he doesn't want Rosalee doing the same thing. Eventually, Rosalee had to confront him because his nervousness was making her more anxious than anything. She told him she was fine with him being vegan as long as he was fine with her not being vegan, and Monroe was adamant that he didn't want Rosalee to change a thing. He gets used to the smell of cooking meat again and they find side dishes they can share happily, and sometimes she made an all vegan meal she would enjoy as well. However, after one evening where he woged after an after dinner kiss and had to go on a run, he asked she brush her teeth after dinner just to be safe because the left over taste of meat set off a little blood lust. Rosalee now keeps her teeth very clean after meals.