#it was actually his birthday last week!

[localcryptic]

When's the oc lore dropping bc I'm already interested in al a kazam

brother for you i'll make it happen right now

(my own art! yippee!)

a brief summary of the man the myth the legend:

thiiis issss allen kurtzmann, known by his stage name Al A. Kazam. he was a magician/con artist in the 1920s.

he got into stage magic as a kid because he had reaaaally high hopes that it would make people like him (he had extremely limited success).

he grew up as a pickpocket and moved on to other petty crime as an adult, where he met his ex-partner, simon

simon wanted to expand his con operation into something bigger, and tried to kick al off the team and break up with him. al, handling this situation extremely well, murdered him.

(there was sooo much more drama to the situation but that's the funnier way to put it)

Anyways. al took his little act solo for a while, hoping to scrape by unnoticed. That Is, Until at Age 25, When He Died And Went To Hell ❤️

Al Spent 90 Years In Purgatory By Accident, Had a Fling With the Demon that was Supposed to Make Sure he Left Purgatory at some point (Kazikor <3), and then got in Big Huge Trouble For It

his demon lover kaz took the majority of the fall for him (sorry man) so al didn't get sent to a lower layer of hell for like, disrupting the entire system for nearly a century. Yippee!

However, he has been sent to the first layer of hell, which has become a sprawling metropolis, aptly known as Hell City. and as his punishment, he must suffer the worst hell of all........ An unpaid internship

To make up for fucking up the whole system, al has been assigned to work for the Hell City Municipal Department indefinitely, or until they think he's properly made up for the 90 Years Of Bullshit he caused. he is working as a bounty hunter to track down Other people who shouldn't be in our layer of hell and get them put back where they belong.

al's life actually like, Vastly improved upon dying and going to hell. he like, has an apartment and is making friends and things

there is the issue of his ex, simon, who has spent the last 95 years in hell becoming a big, intimidatingly powerful name in the city's organized crime, and a tendency towards holding grudges and wanting revenge

and also the issue of the Cursed Amulet he thought was his "lucky charm" but appears to be not only Actually Magical unlike his phony bullshit, but (a) Sentient, and (b) Capable of Summoning Horrifying Shadow Monsters That Want Him Dead Directly To His Location if he fucks up handling it..

and also also the issue of the crawling sense of paranoia he experiences every time he's alone, and also also also the issue of all of these mysteries beginning to unfold that he seems to somehow be connected to......

but like, other than that, he's settling in to the afterlife nicely and it's like, going pretty well!

ANYWAYS that's the context for this son of a bitch. thank u for asking !!

( @dubiousqueue is the gm for the campaign i play him in and has more lore for things under the tag #motw wthc ! and @vampire-romancer plays his future partner musette everett and also has a tag for them! yippee!)

[mattodore]

was truly out of my mind for not considering the fact that taking a screenshot at 5744 x 3201 would mean that editing the screenshot afterward to share to tumblr would be the biggest clown moment of all time.......

[daydreamerdrew]

Mary Marvel (1945) #9

[softgrungeprophet]

funniest part of figuring out clones' fake IDs is that kaine was made before ben in-universe but ben and peter both pretend they're twins/triplets. but. kaine's legitimate fake ID he gets with falsified papers makes him legally 2 years younger than them 😂

[seagull-scribbles]

♥️♣️Playing Devils advocate♠️♦️

A gift for @adhd-in-space

[chibikinesis]

.

[arctic-hands]

I should totally learn how to brew my own mead or cider

[shouldprobablybereading]

Baby boy just turned 1 so I made him his own cat friendly “cake”

He was mostly annoyed because he could smell all the good tasting ingredients but wasn’t allowed to eat them until I was finished

[mojoflower]

Mojo-furen? I don’t suppose you’d happen to have any gift for composing old-school country music? I ask because between COVID, neurotype issues, a chronically ill son, abused (and chronically ill) nieces, the house teeming with kids like a Snuffy Smith comic, remodeling, ongoing U.S. political malevolence, fandom drama, and a dead possum under the patio, life has sure been providing you with fucktons of raw material.

No, no, I don't -- and that's truly a tragic oversight, because I'm sure my song of woe would be MAGNIFICENT. An instant and catchy hit.

I am just now coming out the other side of covid, along with my husband and son; our dishwasher has been broken this whole time which is just, the worst; I cut off all my hair and now I have a chronic phantom-ponytail headache that hasn't gone away in 2 weeks (isn't that insane???); my nieces have been stuffing the cum-blankets in the washing machine before they leave in the hopes I won't notice (bless 'em); I am bleeding from places I haven't bled from in over 5 years thanks to menopause; I can't have anyone over to fill the possum void until we're healthy. And we're not even going to mention all the weeds and overgrowth in the yard, because with all the rain, the growing season just won't stop (and neither will the heat and humidity).

Mr. Mojo just got a new slide for his resonator guitar. That seems like the perfect base. I'll work on him for some lyrics ;)

(I'm feeling a little more human today, after a full week of misery. Maybe life is worthwhile after all. Thank you for the laugh, my friend!)

*I can't taste salt or sugar right now... but you know what I can taste, with exquisite clarity, in all its full and robust nuance? Peas. And onions. Yep. Those are the only two things. The peas are alright, a bright little surprise. The chili we had last night tasted of nothing but onion, and that was... not so nice. I really hope taste comes back soon.*

[deus-ex-mona]

the stare of judgemental confusion is real—

[ghostickle]

My favorite game am I an asshole or do my friends just suck

[wheresmulder]

.

[crazy-fruit]

.

[exopelagic]

I am baking cake at midnight and it is going to kill me <3

[snowflop]

[screampied]

just need a oneshot where toji being so extremely soft with his pregnant wife.😔

៹ content tags. ៹ fem! reader, pure fluff, toji's a big softie, calls reader 'mama' + 'baby' & 'darlin'

wc. 2.0k

toji rubs his eyes, pure static forming into his irises for a bit as he’d awaken up from his nap. with a quick glance at the clock, it read two thirty. in the background played the intro from some old western movie that was on repeat. ah, ever since you’ve gotten pregnant he’s always been staying up with you, ruining his sleep schedule in the process. not that he necessarily minded, you were his wife and he’d do anything for you,

his ears twitch a bit as he hears a sudden ruffling noise of feet — verdant eyes of his focus on you and it’s you trodding towards him and he smiles. “heyy,” he murmurs in a drowsy tone, he figured you’d be awake. toji stares at you so lovingly, the cute baby blue nightgown you wore, winnie the pooh slippers that dragged across the fleecy carpet. with a yawn, he pats his lap for you to take your seat. “y’er lil waddle never stops bein’ cute, mama.”

“stop.” you frown with a pouty look, he’d always tease whenever you do your cute little walk. he grows to adore it, the cute rounded bump on your belly only getting larger. pretty soon, you were about to reach your second trimester. time flew by so fast, it was almost like before you could blink, you’d be meeting your beloved new baby. you slowly make your way onto toji’s lap and he slings an arm around you. he smells good, you were a bit tired already from that ten second walk, cute..

“sorry baby,” toji utters in a soft voice, kissing the back of your head as you relax into his embrace, leaning back. “was gonna wake ya up but ya looked so peaceful,” and he brings a kiss near the inner crevice of your neck. “miss me already?”

you still remain with the cute glowering expression. with a sigh, you shrug. “yes, actually. missed you a lot.”

“awww,” toji caresses against your thighs, his touch was delicate and gentle. as he spoke in a gruff voice, he nips a few more kisses toward the corner of your neck as you faced the other direction. “missed you more. ‘n i missed our girl too,” and that catches you by surprise, he’d always refer to the baby’s gender as a girl. as if he could read your mind, he chuckles before leaning his head against your shoulder. “whaaat? got a feelin’ ‘s gonna be a girl.”

“i think it’s gonna be a boy,” you mumble, feeling your heart flutter a bit. oh, it was always like this between the two of you. the constant banter of the gender, toji just knew it was gonna be a girl while you thought otherwise. he’d be happy with either or though. you, likewise. toji watches with half-lidded eyes as you turn your body a bit to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. you plant a kiss on his chin, lips brushing against his stubble and he hums in amusement. “did you get any sleep at all? you have eye bags, ‘toj.”

“ah, ‘m fine,” he grins at your concern, the scar slashed near the right side of his lip twinging in response. you were so cute—the pregnancy glow you had bestowed on you, he could stare at you all day. toji leans in to kiss your nose, yet he notices your deadpan. with a grunt, he surrenders.

“okay okay, the most i got was maybe four-ish hours,” and the look of worry on your face made his heart twist. toji pats your head, smoothening his tone. “don’t worry, baby. it was for a good cause. was up all night readin’ that book you bought like last week.”

with your brows furrowing in confusion, your lips part at your abrupt realization. “oh— the pregnancy fact book?” and then you giggle. “really? i thought you said books were boring, toji.”

“trust, they are,” he sulks, bringing his wrist to rub his eyes. you take a brief glance at his broken watch you bought him for his thirtieth birthday. despite it being unable to tell time anymore, he still flaunts it, all because it was a gift from you. with a low sigh, toji moves a few strands out of your face. “but, ‘m willing to try new things for you—er, for us. and it’s quite informative, it told me about y’er strange cravings ‘n it checks out.”

you frown. “what’s wrong with my cravings? you told me you like them.”

“well, darlin’ i love you a lot okay,” and he paints a wet kiss against your cheek. “but if i have to eat another peanut butter pickle sandwich with you, ‘m gonna lose it.”

“it’s not that bad,” you protest, bringing a palm near your stomach to rub it. the bump was easily growing as the weeks progressed—you couldn’t help but be excited once the week of forty rolled around. “you just have a bland appetite.”

toji rolls his eyes. “peanut butter and pickles, baby. not jelly, pickles. pickles?” and you look at him, he’s gently holding both of your shoulders before you giggle. “and i thought nothin’ could top the toast ‘n ice cream.”

you deadpan again. “okay now you’re just being dramatic.”

“i love you,” he boops your nose. “i love you and y’er weird food cravings,” and toji’s eyes trail down toward your tummy. so cute and round, he gingerly moves the fabric of your gown up to reveal your skin, a palm ghosting against your belly. “any cramps today? pain i should know about?”

“no,” you hum, immediately relaxing from his touch. the warmth of his hand made your breathing slow a bit. he moves it around in a smooth circular rotation before brushing a thumb against your belly button. “kinda scared toji.”

leafy, viridescent eyes meet its way back up to yours before his face softens. “what for, darlin’? good scared or bad scared?”

in a sweet, timid tone, you puff out a single shaky breath. “like … both i guess? i’m excited of course but ‘m kinda scared. we’re having a baby, toji. pretty soon i’ll be on my third trimester,” and he’s so attentive as you’re talking, quite literally getting lost in your eyes. who knew that you could turn this man into such a soft sap, he adored you. as you continue to rant, toji strokes your cheek with a warmhearted simper. “i watched lots of videos about birthing and it looks scary.”

“not gonna lie to you, baby. ‘s gonna be scary, but y’know what? ‘m gonna be right there with you,” and he strokes a thumb against the enlarging stretch marks growing against your belly. he’s gentle, tracing a finger against each one before his eyes avert back up to you. “i’ll be right beside you. holdin’ y’er hand ‘n all,” and he kisses the crown of your head. “y’er gonna be the prettiest mommy. our girl’s lucky to have you. i’m lucky to have you.”

for some reason, those last few words struck right through the veins of your heart. mentally, you promised yourself you wouldn’t cry—

but alas, your eyes start to swell up, bottom lip quivering and toji notices immensely at your change of body language.

“awww, was that too much?” he purrs, bringing you towards his chest. you sniffle, your nose digging into his neck and an arm of his cradles you. toji starts to rock you, he presses another kiss against the top of your head before humming. “didn’t mean ‘ta make ya cry, darlin’ but ‘s true. ya don’t gotta worry that pretty little head, ‘m gonna be right here for anything..”

a solid tear drops against his tank top before your chin rests against his chest. you slowly look up at him with that familiar pouty expression before he swipes a thumb against your eyes. “cutie,” he takes your tears away, your lashes all damp and long. “y’er even more emotional because of the baby too. hormones, aw yeah i know these facts by heart.”

“you’re such a dork,” you wipe your face with a laugh, the mood suddenly light again. toji was gonna be spewing out pregnancy facts at you all day, you knew that now. whilst you sat up, trying to re-collect yourself, you speak in a soft voice. “but really, thank you toji. i love you,” and you grab ahold of his hand. your fingers intertwine with his, squeezing it tight. “you’ll be a great daddy.”

“heyy girl, don’t make me cry now,” he teases, a thumb of his running across the softness of your hand.

toji’s face relaxes, the more he stares into your eyes, the more he falls more and more in love.

toji was just as excited as you, maybe even more.

he couldn’t wait to start this new milestone, this new journey with you. a baby, the two of you would be proud new parents. the thought of it alone brings a soft smile to his face before he leans in to kiss you.

you return the gesture,

closing your eyes while feeling his warm lips mash against your own. toji was so weak for you, happily so.

life was worth living for him again now that he had you and the growing baby in your stomach. once you met him, he thought he’d never move on. he was a broken man who came to the mere conclusion that he had no purpose— all until you came along. toji didn’t believe in second chances, but maybe he’d start. you were his everything, and he couldn’t have been anymore grateful to have you in his arms at this right particular moment.

after a while, the kiss departs and toji smears a thumb against your glossed lips. “you drive me crazy,” he whispers, soft jade like irises peering into yours for about fourteen seconds before he sneaks a kiss near your jaw. “oh, you just reminded me. i ordered somethin’ the other day.”

with your interest piqued, you watch as he grabs out his phone— toji opens some shopping app, swiping a thumb near the check out section before showing it to you. what you were staring at was a cute huge pink sticker for cars that displayed the words of, ‘BABY ON BOARD!’

“you’re so cute,” you lean in to hug him, finding his enthusiasm adorable. a hand of his strums against your back before he leans against the couch. “you’re really set on it being a girl though, huh?”

“yeah,” he presses his nose against yours. “or if it’s a boy, we can name ‘em toji. such a manly name.”

your eye twitches. “one of you is enough,” and he smirks, feeling your thumb play against his scar. “but toji, ‘s like the afternoon. you should go back to sleep.”

“not tired,” he shakes his head, wrapping two arms around your sweet frame. your scent had him always wanting more of you, so sweet. toji pats your back gently before his face buries into your neck. “i’d rather stay up ‘n talk with you.”

“but i was gonna go back to sleep,” you pout.

toji huffs with a smile, kissing the shell of your ear. “oh, you want me back in bed, ‘s that it? darlin’ you could have just asked.”

you blankly stare at him and he guffaws, standing up and pulling you with him. “ah, c’mon. let’s go sleep for another fifteen hours i guess,” he teases, and he helps you walk. toji gawks at your cute waddle. so cute, you felt like you had so much water stored in you. entirely full, your heels slide against the floor before you hold onto your husband’s bicep. “there we go, one step at a time.”

“i’m not a baby, toji.” you mutter, secretly feeling yourself get hot from his doting affection. he’s holding onto you and you’re holding on to him.

“y’er my baby,” he corrects, and once the two of you reach the empty bedroom filled with infant supplies and boxes of baby furniture, you take a seat on the edge of the mattress. toji towers above you as you sit, cupping your face with a sly smile. “wife,” he coos in a gentle voice, two thumbs fondling against both sides of your temples. “i love you. never forget it, yeah?”

“i .. love you too toji.”

he hums. “heh, before we sleep though. how about some pickles?” and your face lights up.