#it was bad it was wrong it shouldn't have been done

[my-pjo-stuff]

Despite being the first one to criticize and slander Hermes, I do think that he genuinely loved May and Luke. And that he tried to do what he considered to be the best. UNFORTUNATELY THE GUY IS JUST STUPID AS FUCK 💀

Like genuinly I think that he's the one and only case of a godly parent not being shitty because they are horrid as a person, but because they just have a room temperature IQ. And I am talking about a COLD room with this one you guys. Because that guy KNEW of Luke's fate. He KNEW what that boy decided to do and STILL abandoned him! And don't tell me leaving Luke all alone with a woman he knew wasn't mentally stable ISN'T abandoning. And then the guy had the guts to be mad at the kid for running away like???? Jeez Hermes, isn't like YOU LEFT YOUR KID WITH A WOMAN YOU KNEW SCARRED HIM HALF TO DEATH. And ontop of all that you also tell him that he shouldn't have returned home when you do meet him??? My brother in Christ, how can you go from faulting Luke for running away from May to faulting the guy for coming back???? Please this is some late-stage dementia we have right there 😭😭😭 And as if that isn't bad enough in the same breath you promise him a quest soon, ONLY TO NOT FOLLOW UP ON IT??? Like Luke was 14 when Hermes promised to give him a quest "soon"- AND HE WAS 17 WHEN HE ACTUALLY GOT IT. I mean you don't have to be a genius to know how bad this looks right??? Especially after everything you've already done??? And then you don't even take the time to come up with something original for the kid; instead, you just throw a quest that was already done once at him. KNOWING how much demigod culture empathizes shit like "glory" 💀🙏 A quest WHICH WASN'T EVEN COMPLETED WITHOUT HELP THE FIRST TIME AROUND BY AN ADULT HERO BY THE WAY. Like Heracles had Zoe helping him, and Hermes just decided to send his 17 y/o kid to do that AND LET HIM DO IT ON HIS OWN. This ain't even a joke anymore- such levels of stupidity should be impossible to achieve omfg. Luke's bar was literally down in in HELL and still Hermes somehow managed to limbo dance under it. Homeboy really never once thought that maybe, just maybe he should...oh I don't know- ACTUALLY TALK TO THE KID HE LOVES INSTEAD OF EITHER IGNORING HIM OR BLAMING HIM FOR SHIT????

The guy literaly did everything wrong that he EVER could have done wrong and then got mad at ANNABETH for not fixing his own idiotic mistakes. Like plz my man just go read a parenting guide and apply the shit in there, promise it will work T-T Or at least will work better than whatever the fuck you've been doing this past few years. Luke fr was doomed to his fate. Not by destiny but by his father just being a fucking moron 😭💀🙏

[icryyoumercy]

@nimblermortal

first, because these things are important nowadays, i am not a medical professional, this is not professional medical advice, the WHO has helpful information about malaria, when living or travelling in a region where malaria happens, mosquito repellent and appropriate protective gear are mandatory and non-negotiable, and so on

quinine is made from tree bark, which makes it one of the two medically useful things made from tree bark i know of, and also makes me wonder how people learn these things. were they just. walking around biting random trees. is the desire to chew on tree bark just part of what makes humans human.

it has initially been used as a muscle relaxant by the quechua people, to treat uh. random shivering? which is apparently a thing people sometimes do? which i could look into, but then i'd probably get distracted

the spaniards brought it back to europe, as they did with so many things, and because things like germ theory and microbiology and chemistry were still centuries from being discovered, what people knew of malaria was that it causes fever and thus shivering with very noticeable periodicity. and they had just been told about a thing that can stop shivering, so might as well give it a shot. if the symptoms are all you are aware of, the symptoms are all you can treat.

and for some utterly baffling reason, it turned out it didn't just help against shivering, it actually cured malaria? which. wasn't what anyone was aiming for, but gift horses and all that.

rome, being located very conveniently in a swamp, and having a rather inconvenient amount of popes and other people important to the catholic church, was perfectly located to pioneer such treatment and make a great many of the rich and powerful (and thus by advertisment of word of mouth and rumor everyone else) want some more of this marvellous drug, which made quinine (that is, the bark it's extracted from) one of peru's most important stolen goods

then, of course, a lot of fucked up colonialism happened (including in africa, because it's hard to do colonialism while dying of malaria), because europeans were unwilling to engage in things like fair and equal trade with non-europeans, we get fun medical price gouging and attempts at monopolies and general unpleasantness, and someone finally managed to isolate the exact chemical compound instead of just grinding up the bark and mixing it with something that tastes better than tree bark

and around the 1940s, malaria treatments with fewer unpleasant side effects were discovered (which i know nothing about and won't look up because adhd), and by 2006 the WHO has declared that quinine shouldn't be used as the first choise in treating malaria for a variety of reasons, including resistant strains and aforementioned side effects

also, if you're really curious about the taste, tonic water is traditionally made with quinine, and has been used as a prophylactic against malaria. once it wasn't used for that purpose any longer, though, people have decided to add less quinine and more sugar and citrus because they didn't enjoy just how incredibly bitter that stuff was. also, the FDA says you can't have more than 83 ppm of quinine per liter of tonic water, so if you wanted to treat malaria with it, you'd need to drink some ten liters per day, and if you want to use it for prevention, you'd need around 20 liters per day, at which point malaria seems like the better option

what tonic water can help with, on the other hand, is muscle cramps! not sure how much of that is the quinine and how much is the placebo effect, but at that point, we're back to readily available and comparatively harmless

either way, in the 1860's, it was one of the few actually working medical things (along with chloroform and diethyl ether for general anaesthesia, and opium for pain relief), so they will throw it at anything that has even the slightest ressemblance to periodic fever (to be fair, a number of other things they did also had the required medical effects, they just ran afoul of paracelsus's basic adage of toxicity

Alle Dinge sind Gift, und nichts ist ohne Gift; allein die Dosis macht, dass ein Ding kein Gift ist. All things are poison, and nothing is without poison; the dosage alone makes it so a thing is not a poison.

—Paracelsus, 1538

by reaching the poisonous dosage at the same or a much earlier point than the therapeutic dosage)

[pbnmj]

Ur tags about how Miles and Pavitr are the ones who say "I can do both" because it IS quintessential spiderman thinking AND because they're too young to have seen that devastatingly not work yet. BUT the thing is they are RIGHT but only if it's "we"! Spiderman's mythos is inherently a lonely one reinforced by Miles and Gwen's isolation and by every. single. intro. reminding us that every spider person is the "one and only spider person"! And yet!! These films are just about relationships (1/2)

YES YEAH YOU GET IT !!!! and (quite recently rewatched it and mentioning it here cause i can't believe i forgot to mention it in the post you're talking about) it really gets me that gwen also says 'i was doing both' in regards to protecting miles and protecting the canon event, and i love that the phrase was reflected like that, even tho (at this point of the movie) miles and gwen pretty much oppose each other in views/priority !!

it also absolutely kills me the way that gwen begins (like you say) atsv quitting the band and isolates herself, and then throughout the whole thing she finds something/someone that she wants to take that leap for, all over again :') she (and the entire spider-team!!) is willing to bet everything on miles and is ready to fight for him, and i really just love the idea that miles just is a force that inspires good !!!! IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT LOVE!!!

[tantamounttoflirtation]

If they announce a s4 I genuinely might have to log tf off. I don't even want to see what sort of dumpster fire it would be. Maybe I'm just being pessimistic, but I don't see much hope for it being good or worthwhile. I'm going to rant in the tags so if you disagree with my opinion thats cool you can just ignore me and continue scrolling :)

[warriorkittiecats]

Honestly, I will say as well, I think people ought to empathize more with Mapleshade's decision to let people make assumptions on the father of her kits as well. It wasn't the right thing to do, don't get me wrong. Deceiving people on that kind of thing is wrong. But she was scared for the well being of her children if the truth ever got out, which she was right to be! Certainly, lying wasn't admirable, but I have a hard time understanding people who hold the opinion that she did so maliciously or cruelly. Mapleshade was in a terrible situation because of a horrible rule that would ruin her life and the life of three innocent kits if the truth ever came out. Obviously, she's a bad person for the murders, but to ignore any possible nuance behind her earlier actions feels awfully dense to me.

[tardis--dreams]

Lord grant me the strength to call the doctor's office tomorrow to ask for a bloodtest

[david-watts]

kinda getting sick of the near daily ‘why don’t you do anything around the place’ argument from a hag who won’t even sneeze in the direction of being patient enough to like. let me do things

[yousaytomato]

Trying my hardest not to be anxious and sad about things that have already happened and that I can't do anything about now. But How

[zarithial]

i cant sleep.

[heavywithhaving]

aaa

[foone]

Your posts are in an AI model

and then Tumblr decided to sell them to AI models.

Now, don't get me wrong, tumblr selling out the users to AI companies is bad, yes, they shouldn't do that. It sucks.

but don't lets get this confused: your posts were already in there. Tumblr selling them is about tumblr making some money and about the AI models having more exhaustive post collections. It's not about your posts being in an AI model, vs not being in one. That battle has already been lost.

Can you find your post on google? Then it's almost certainly in an AI model already. Think about it: These AI sites showed up before all the sites were making deals to sell their users' content, right? How do you think they built them in the first place?

They scraped the posts. Just like google and bing and such do when they build their search indexes.

It's a fundamental part of how the open web works: you want your posts on tumblr to be visible to users, right? You want them to be readable?* Like, look how much stuff broke when twitter changed their whole read-while-not-logged-in policy, ruining a bunch of thread links/NSFW links. And if it's visible, it's scrapable. That's what the AI models were built on.

I've done website scraping before (not for AI models, of course. I was doing search engines and website archival), this is just how it works. You hire a few relatively smart CS graduates and tell them "build me a scraper that'll give us a bunch of tumblr posts" and they go off for a month or two and come back with a database of a few billion posts, and you stuff that into your AI model. That's how they got all the deviantart and flickr and twitter and pinterest and so on posts. They didn't pay for them: they just took them.

They only ever pay for this shit because either:

they fucked up in such a way that the site might be able to sue them for taking rather than paying

They can buy them cheaper than they can finish taking them. Maybe they'd need to pay the CS grads for an extra month? well, that might be more expensive than just throwing the site a couple hundred thousand bucks.

ANYWAY: my point is, don't treat this "oh no tumblr is selling our posts to AI" like it's a big thing that might happen and it would be bad to happen. Yes, it's bad, tumblr shouldn't do this, this'll let AI models get continual updates of content for far easier than just scraping them would be, tumblr betrayed user trust, and so on...

but realistically, this is not a black and white matter of "if only tumblr didn't do this, then we'd be safe from AI models!"

Nope. We already lost that battle. I'm sorry, and it does suck, but that's just how it is. The avalanche has already started, it's too late for the pebbles to vote. * I'm assuming here that you don't run a private blog that's set to only followers or something. You'd be safer then, of course, but you're not really my target audience for this rant

[medicinemane]

All I'm saying is any rule, any law, any social convention, anything where there's some kind of reprisal for transgressing against it... just make damn sure you're careful with it lest it be used against you

Every freedom you give up in the name of making a better world, really double check it's worth it and narrowly defined

I mean some freedoms are worth giving up, for instance I don't have the freedom to kill people who annoy me, and I shouldn't have that freedom. I lose very little while gaining a great deal both personally and for society as a whole, and there are a lot of places like this where it's 100% worth it to ban something outright

Similarly, there absolutely are reasons to socially shun people, like you don't have to put up with every last thing just to be nice. Influencers who do stuff like harass people to drum up attention or record and post every second of their kid's lives, I don't think we should be engaging with people like that unless it's to keep an eye on them, I think they do a ton of harm

All I'm saying though, is shit like the Patriot Act drummed up support because it was going to protect people, keep people safe... and look what actually happened, look how it's used. It's state surveillance against the people it claimed to protect and that's about it

I'm not gonna tell you which things are wrong to shit on people for, or which policies you should oppose. I don't want you to just mimic what I believe, even if I thought anyone was gonna

I just want you to look at stuff, and think about it, and really decide if that thing you want gone is harmful in a concrete enough way that if you do something to try to remove it, it will only remove that instead of spilling over in to stuff you didn't want it to

I just want you to check in your head if anything you're cracking down on either legally or through social pressure might lead you to losing something you care about down the road if bad actors skew how to interpret things

I'm not saying that's how it's gonna go, I'm just saying think first

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

[what-even-is-thiss]

People acting like slavery was good at literally any point in history kinda drive me crazy. There's been many different types of slavery and indentured servitude all throughout human history all with a lot of difference and nuance to all of them and all of them have been bad. Like it's fundamentally wrong to take a person's personal ownership of their own body and life away from them and/or to make them work for no compensation against their will.

Slavery has been a bit different in every society that has practiced it and it is always a different kind of bad with that core immorality of stealing a person's personal autonomy from them at the center of it. People throughout history have always preferred owning themselves to being owned by others. There's no ethical way to own another human being.

Like people talk about slavery in ancient times like more modern examples of slavery should've been more like that. No, they shouldn't have. Because they shouldn't have been practicing slavery at all. Perhaps a third of the Roman Empire's population was enslaved. It was incredibly normalized. Did that make it right? No. That was a third of the population that could legally be killed or sold or raped by their enslavers at any time for no reason. That had no ownership of themselves or their labor.

And to be clear, slavery still exists and it's still bad. The excuse now is just that it's only being done to prisoners. Like all the forms of slavery before it, this justification does not make it right. People being punished for their crimes, whether you think prison time is a justifiable punishment or not, are still people. They need to be given control over what work they apply to do and be paid for their work. This is basic stuff and yet. Forced unpaid labor is still happening. It's all bad. It's all nuanced and and complicated and different and changes with culture and time and it's bad.

Like as someone who loves studying history I hate watching other people who study history try to justify these things. Face your actual history. There's a lot of bad in it. We can't change the past but we sure as hell can stop ignoring it.

[thebibliosphere]

Tw: almost dying, muscle spasms, seizures and weird body fuckery.

I just had my second ER trip of the month. I thought the amitriptyline was making my heart weird in a non-POTSy way and I had a feeling that something was just wrong. So I woke Mothman up and asked him to take me to the ER.

Which is just as well because as soon as we got there I started experiencing uncontrollable muscle spasms and my resting heart rate shot up to 150.

The triage nurse bolted me through the corridors into a room of about four doctors and seven nurses. The rest is a blur but I remember crying for Mothman because I couldn't see him past the wall of medical people around me.

Turns out I was extremely hypocalcemic, as in my blood results for my ionized calcium levels were so low it was a medical emergency. If I’d stayed home and assumed my rapid heart was from POTS I likely would have had a seizure or possibly a heart attack.

The doctor in charge told me he’d only ever seen the spasmodic movements I was making in textbooks before, but it was so distinctive he knew right away it was hypocalcemia. Blood tests confirmed it. My serum levels were “normal” but my ionozed levels were virtually zero.

Also, my thyroid is shot. I need to get more tests done. Possibly linked to the hypocalcemia. Possibly why my migraines have been so bad. Basically it was the b12 fiasco all over again. All my test results looked normal until I almost died

Again.

Anyway. I’m home now after being given a massive dose of IV calcium and a ton of othe meds. Sadly, I’m not allowed to take the amitriptyline anymore, at least until we’ve figured out my thyroid and why my calcium was so low while still appearing normal. Thankfully I was only on it for a week at a very low dose so the side effects of coming off it cold turkey shouldn't be too bad. I’m dreading the head pain returning. But who knows, maybe the massive dose of calcium will help with that. Keep your fingers crossed for me, eh?

I’m going to try and sleep.

Or just stare into the void for a bit. Haven’t decided yet.

[strangersteddierthings]

Good People

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Final Part

Wayne knows eavesdropping isn't the done thing. He's definitely old enough to know better, and he wasn't going to. He had a plan. He was going to walk directly into the living room, so they'd know he was awake, and after he'd fixed his cup of coffee, he'd plopped into his perfectly worn in recliner and subtly glare at the Harrington boy until he squirmed.

Mostly because it amused Wayne, but also just a little sliver of it was because he wanted the Harrington boy to know Wayne didn't think he was good enough for his boy. But only a little! Lord knows that Wayne couldn't do anything to make Eddie change his mind about Steve Harrington, short of Harrington proving Wayne right. Which he doesn't actually want because he doesn't want Eddie hurt.

He's just... He expects it to happen. That's what boys like Harrington do to boys like Eddie. He's seen it enough times to know that this song and dance leave no room for improvisation. Boys like Harrington play around, get their kicks with the devotion Eddie shows them, and then when they've had their fill, they leave.

Boys like Harrington will never be good enough for Eddie, but they always leave with Eddie feeling like he's not enough. Wayne hates it.

Anyway, his plan wasn't to eavesdrop. It's just that Harrington said his name and Wayne found himself standing still instead of continuing.

"Why doesn't Wayne like me?" Harrington asks.

"This again?" Eddie says dismissively, which has Wayne agreeing. His opinion shouldn't have bearing on their friendship.

A deep sigh from Harrington before, "I just. It's- he means so much to you. And, like, I- nevermind. It's stupid. I'm stupid."

"Hey," Eddie sounds a type of serious that Wayne rarely hears from him, "you're not stupid. And you gotta quit fucking saying that. You say it enough and you'll start to believe it and it's not true."

"Hard to quit feeling stupid when people dismiss my concerns like they are stupid," Harrington snaps back, bitchy as can be. The tone makes Wayne bristle on behalf of Eddie. His boy doesn't reply immediately, though. Doesn't bite back like Wayne's used to hearing. Huh. Maybe he's growing up, just a little.

"You're right, Steve," Eddie says when he finally speaks. "That was dismissive. I'm sorry. Explain it to me. Why does it matter to you whether Wayne likes you or not?"

"Well, because he's your family."

"Yeah," Eddie agrees, "he is. But that doesn't explain why it matters. I don't care if your parents like me or not."

"That's different!"

"How?" Eddie asks, soft but firm.

"Because their opinion doesn't matter. It's not- It's irrelevant. What they think."

"That makes no sense. Wayne's opinion matters because he's my family, but your parents' opinion doesn't even though they're your family?"

"Yes!"

"But why?" Eddie presses.

"Because they're bad people!" Steve bursts, not quite shouting but close. "Because when bad people don't think highly of you, it's not a fault in you. Their disproval is, like, a compliment. They don't like you because you're too different from them. And that's great! You shouldn't want their approval. It's different, because your uncle is a good person. And when a good person doesn't like you, it is your fault. It's something- it's..." Harrington loses steam here, voice dropping low and defeated, "there's something wrong with me. Something in me that- that he just knows. Senses about me or whatever. Something wrong or rotten or-"

"Steve! That's bullshit. Sure, Wayne's been standoffish, but he'll come around. You're not wrong, or rotten, or whatever else you think you are."

"How do you know that? I was an asshole most of life and what if that's just the real me? What if that's who I'll always be deep down. 'Cause I'm trying so damn hard, man. I'm giving it my all trying to be a better person and it's not enough! Everyone still talks about who I was in high school and even you-" Harrington snaps his mouth closed so hard that Wayne hears the clack of his teeth from his position in the hallway. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I'm sorry."

"Steve. This is about more than just my uncle's opinion of you, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"I want you, too. I want to know if I've ever done anything to make you feel like you aren't enough."

Wayne really shouldn't be listening. He should back down the hall and into his room. Give them time to talk.

"No, Eddie, you don't make me feel like- that's not what I meant. I just. I'm...."

"Hey, Stevie, you can tell me."

"I'm just so afraid that... That one day everyone will wake up and realize what Wayne already knows. That I'm not good enough for them. For you."

Oh. Wayne really shouldn't be listening.

"I'll admit that Wayne's opinion is important to me, for a lot of things. But not about you. What I feel about you, how I feel about you, isn't dictated by Wayne."

"Sure. I mean, I know that, like, logically or whatever. But it's. I can't convince my brain that you won't just. Hate me one day. And I- fuck, Eddie, I'm already halfway in love with you and-"

"You're in love with me?" Eddie interrupts, sounding awed, starstruck, and Wayne cannot be listening anymore. He backs down the hall silently and back into his room.

Steve Harrington seems to think that he's a good person, but he's not feeling like a good person at the moment.

He's got some thinking to do.