#it was so difficult to pick just two book quotes for the first and last gifs ;u;

[ruanbaijie]

the national, the pull of you [x]

THE SPIREALM 致命游戏 (2024) [in/sp] adapted from the danmei novel Kaleidoscope of Death 死亡万花筒 by Xi Zi Xu 西子绪 @userdramas creator bingo ⎈ animation + shapes @asiandramanet event 07 comfort @asiandramanet may creator bingo board ⎈ lgbtq+ visibility + black & white

[lizthewriter]

i know you are a stargirl / billy loomis

PAIRING  billy loomis x fem!reader

SUMMARY  billy spends the entire next day teasing you, watching you with those kind of eyes. he finds a way to apologize to you, by giving you exactly what you need: pleasure and relief. part 1.

TAGS  billy loomis x fem!reader, smut, dom!billy, sub!reader, dacryphilia, cunniligus, cum eating, billy likes to order you around, body worship, slight angst, if you squint, billy becomes soft!dom billy halfway through, originally planning on making some kinky shit but suddenly this transforms into soft smut???, whatever we ball

QUOTE  "i shouldn't cry, but i love it, starboy," - stargirl interlude by the weeknd, feat. lana del rey

WORD COUNT  2.8K

WRITTEN  11.24.2023

A/N  i'm gone 😵🥴 anyways, first REAL smut, hope you like it anon 🤭🤭 17+

You knew he was teasing you - you knew. All he had done the entire fucking day was stare at you with those hungry, brown eyes as though he were devouring you with them. It was hard not to steal glances his way and it was hard to pretend as though you weren't. Even when he picked you up before school, he just had to massage your thigh the entire car ride.

After your last class of the day, he met you by your locker. Of course, he acted all gentleman-like and pretended as though he hadn't been eye-fucking you all day. He carried your bag for you as you both made your way towards his car. He opened and closed the door for you, gently placing the book bag near your feet.

"How was your day?" He asked as he started the car, backing out of the parking space. His hand was thrown around the front seat, his fingers tickling your neck. You hated the sound of his voice - so smooth and sultry, so captivating. You had to press your legs together and look out the window to keep yourself distracted.

"It was good," you responded without any elaboration. He put the car back into drive and soon enough, you were out of the school parking lot and on the high road. It takes you a minute to realize that he was going in the wrong direction - he had to take a left out of the parking lot to get back to your place, not a right. "Billy, you're going the wrong way. My house is back there." You pointed back where you came from.

"We're not going to your place," he responded, twisting the dial on his sound system. Rock blared through the speakers, but he quickly turned it down to a much more tolerable level. "Sorry, Stu's station . . . no, we're going to my place."

His place? Your obvious shock could be seen on your face, judging by the way Billy laughed. "Yeah, Dad's out of town. We've got the whole place to ourselves." A blush painted your face a sweet cherry red. Billy had never brought you round his place, for good reason. He and his father had a rather complicated relationship . . . a difficult home life. You would say he had never taken you over out of embarrassment, shame, or some sort of protectiveness but you always couldn't help but feel as though he didn't trust you to come over. No one but you and Stu knew even the smallest inklings of Billy's personal life. He had always been rather reserved and again, he had a reputation to uphold.

But now? Knowing that he trusted you enough to bring you round? That he was finally putting in some godamned effort into your relationship? You felt more turned on then before.

It took you a moment to realize that he had called your name quite a few times. "What do you think?" He asked. His demeanor seemed nonchalant, but there was that undertone of nervousness in his voice.

You finally turned back towards him - his eyes turned away from the road, just for a moment, to look at you. You bit your bottom lip, a smile growing on your face. It was infectious, spreading to Billy as well. "Sounds good," you responded with a nod.

The rest of the car ride was silent. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't weird. Often, you two found yourselves in a comfortable sort of quiet, one where you appreciate the other's prescene. You watched great big houses and fields of grass fly past your window - Billy still had his arm swung around you from before. You leaned your cheek into his hand, smiling.

When you had gotten to his house, you had to do a double take. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but it was a house just like Stu's. Great and big and beautiful, with a blossoming garden and a freshly mown lawn. He opened the door to his house for you and you entered, slipping off your shoes and placing your bag on a stool by the coat hanger.

"Home sweet home," Billy said, in a tone half-sarcastic. He placed his shoes neatly next to yours and encouraged you to let loose, follow him inside. "Do you want a drink? Something to eat?"

You walked together down a hall and into a spacious, rustic kitchen. "No, I'm not very hungry . . ." You weren't sure what else to say - Billy hadn't opted to fill the silence either. And here was the other side of the flip coin. The tense silence. A quiet that haunts you during the day, one where you both know exactly what you want, except . . . he does nothing.

Billy leans against the marble countertop of the island and you stop in front of him, unsure of what to do or say. He watches you intently, waiting for you to speak.

"Your house is, uh . . . really beautiful," you said, in an attempt to make conversation. He stands there and says nothing. "I'm glad you invited me over." The silence finally gets to you. "Are you gonna say something?"

He pushes himself off the counter and placed his hands on your waist. "I'm glad I invited you over too, sweetheart." The way he talks, the way he moves, it's like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. It's like he's trying to get you antsy and desperate. All right, well if that's the game he wants to play then two can tango.

You smile innocently at him, leaning forward to press a not-so-chaste kiss to his cheek. When you pull away, your lips linger not a centimeter from his skin. Your breath is hot and heavy and your eyes flicker towards his. "I think I'm starting to get hungry now," you whisper softly, pulling away from him. You slip easily out of his loosened grip on your waist and make your way over to the fridge. "Anything good in here?" You ask, leaning in as though scanning the inventory.

"Unless you want a ketchup, mustard, and pickle sandwich, I'm afraid we're just going to have to order in." You tried to keep your breathing steady as he hovers close behind you, too close. Slowly, you close the door and turn around to face him. He bows your head to look down at you, and you feel much more like the prey to his predator rather than the key to his heart.

You want control of the situation. "So, what should we do? Watch a movie or-"

You don't have enough time to finish before he plants a hand on the refrigerator door beside you. Internally, you smirk - he had been trying to get you worked up, yet now you've done exactly that to him. "I didn't invite you over to watch a movie," he whispered. The air of tension grew so thick, it was like a snake that wrapped around your throat and kept you in a chokehold. "And I think you know that."

A smirk grew on his face as your innocent expression fell - well shit. He brings up his hand and trails his index finger down your cheek, along the vein of your neck, and down your side. You shiver with anticipation and squeeze your thighs together, none of which escapes his notice. "Don't think I don't see you, pretty girl, I see you."

"Billy . . ."

"Remember what I told you last night?" You felt a rush of heat in your cheeks. "Say it."

You felt embarrassed and cornered. His hand finally stopped moving, resting on your hip. It felt like it was meant to be there, like there was a Billy-sized hole in your heart that needed to be filled by his touches, by his kisses . . . He leaned in close, pressing his lips to the edge of your hairline by your ear. "Say it," he said, something that sounded much more like a command than a request.

"Billy," you started, your breath becoming shallow. Meeting his eyes only sent that pang to your lower abdomen - you practically moaned where you stood. He was so close and you could feel the want spilling off of his skin, a poisonous gas intoxicating you. "I want you to fuck me."

That was all he needed. Soon enough, he was clawing at your skin while his lips smashed into yours with desperation. He needed to feel every inch of your skin, he needed to show you that you were his, and more importantly, he was yours. His tounge slipped past your lips, causing you to gasp and lean into him. He swirled his tounge around your own and wrapped the arm that had been planted above you around your waist. He pulled you into him so that your breasts were pressed against his chest and your head was tilted all the way back to meet his lips.

"Mm, missed the sweet taste of your lips sweetheart," he murmured into your mouth, his other hand coming up to grope your breast. He gave it a gentle squeeze and then swiped his finger over your nipple, causing it to grow erect under his hand. You let out a desperate whimper, kissing him with more hunger, applying so much force that you can feel your teeth clash. When he pulls away, a laugh rumbles through his chest. "Seems you feel the same way." He pauses, his eyes following the length of your body so leisurely that you were beginning to grow impatient. "Get on the counter."

You grin and eagerly jump onto the kitchen island, facing Billy, who currently stands between your legs. "I missed you," you told him, with some honesty. You did, you really did, even if he was being a jerkface. A knowing expression replaced your sentimental one, your fingers beginning to toy with the waistband of his jeans. "I missed this."

He presses another kiss to your lips, that devilish smirk still haunting his face. "Lie down, slowly."

He places his hand behind your head, helping you lay back on the cool counter. You hiss softly as the chill touches your bare arms - Billy simply shushes you and plants wet kisses along your neck. One of your hands tangles in his hair while the other grips the countertop as you lean your head away from him, presenting him with more of your neck. "I'm sorry for being such a dick . . . for being so fucking stupid."

"It's okay -"

"It's not," he responds sharply, pulling away from your neck to meet your eyes with a glare as firm as iron. "I was an asshole. What I did wasn't 'okay.' You don't have to forgive me. But I want to show you that I do care for you, that I do . . ." He glanced down at the ground. "I do - love you." The way he said it was tense and hesitant, but not because he was trying to force it, but because it was so hard for him to say.

Your expression softens and you gently tilt his chin up so that you could see him. The lust in his eyes was momentarily gone, replaced by something much more loving. You press your lips gently to his, clutching his face with need. "I know you do baby, I love you too." You knew it was hard for him to be soft and affectionate, but there were times like these - very rare times, you might add - where he opened up to you. Just a little. It made you feel infinitely special. You wanted him to know you felt the same way. "I'm so proud of you. I love you so much."

He leaned towards your hand as you brushed your fingers through his hair with a lovingness that only you could provide him. He his chest tighten - I'm so proud of you. Even though Stu had always stuck by his side through thick and thin, you were the one who showed you love. The only person who ever had, anyways. He wanted to show you his appreciation, he wanted to make you feel good.

He slowly pulled himself away from you - you looked confused for a moment, but not for long. Billy gently lifted your skirt with his fingers peeking beneath. You felt heat rush to where you wanted him to touch you oh-so-badly, a reminder of the sinful activities you were up to only a moment ago. "Pretty," he mumbled. It wasn't long before he was gently pulling your legs up and over his shoulders, peeling off your panties by lifting each leg. He placed them on the counter next to you and lowered himself to your bare heat.

"Billy," you said breathlessly, silent as you had watched him.

"It's okay," he assured you, not removing his eyes from where they had strayed. "Just gonna make you feel good." He dove down, pressing kisses up your inner thighs as preparation. Not that you needed any, you were already wet and ready for him.

You let out a gasp, your chest rising off the counter at his first lick. He savored the way you reacted to him, so sensitive, so delicate, so beautiful. He wanted to hear more, to taste more.

He started to lap at your cunt, nose brushing against your clip with every motion. In an instant, you were a moaning mess - your hands tugging on his hair, your back arching off the counter, your head lolling to the sides. He was unrelenting, giving you exactly what you wanted, where you wanted it. His name stumbled out of your mouth, repeating it like a prayer to a higher power.

Your scent, your taste, had his mind going hazy. He could feel the tightness in his pants but he was doing his best to ignore it. Today was going to be all about you. His tounge explored every inch of your clit, the way his mouth moved along your heat growing more and more messy. Until his cheeks were covered in your slick and his pupils were so dilated, his eyes were almost black. You whined, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes and clouding your vision. When he got a good look at you all undone, just for him, it only encouraged him more.

"My pretty girl," he mumbled in a daze, slowly inserting a finger and shutting his eyes as he felt you clench around him.

"Billy . . . hngh! Billy, please . . . more."

"You sound beautiful." Slowly, he began to pump his finger, in and out, in and out. He watched as your daze grew, until your eyes were blown out and drool was leaking from the corner of your lips. "So beautiful." He adds another finger, much to your pleasure. A sheen of sweat gathers on your forehead, making you shine like a goddess.

He finally pulls away from your cunt pressing forward so that your thighs are now pressed against your chest and the two of you are face to face. You look at him through half-hooded eyes and you look lost, yet like you're exactly where you should be. "I love you. I promise I'll be better. I promise. You're - you're the only good thing in my life. You keep me in check. You care for me. You show me what love really means. I need you."

You let out a whimper as he begins to increase his pace. "Baby," you whine, your head rocking back and forth but your eyes never straying from his. Billy's words, the position your in, the way he's moving inside of you - you can feel the tension build up in your lower abdomen. "I love you too, so so - oh God - so much!"

He can feel himself twitch at the way your voice jumps an octave, your head flying back with tightly closed eyes. Gasps and curses flew out of your mouth, so vulgar, yet mixed with his name and loving, but broken sentences, so sweet. "You're close," he mumbled.

"Mhm, please, baby! Pleasepleaseplease."

He finally adds a third finger, upping his pace as much as he can to give you the most pleasure. He pressed kisses to as much of your exposed skin as he can, drinking in the way you meal and squirm. "Come for me, sweetheart, it's okay."

You let out a moan and your body twitches as relief floods through your system, your orgasm flowing through your veins. "I know, I know," he says softly, brushing your hair from your face. "You okay?"

You breath heavily, waiting a moment or two to come down from your high. "You were . . . amazing." A breathless laugh leaves your mouth. You tilt your head so that you can look at him properly, raising a hand to cup his cheek. "I'm so glad you came back to me."

He closes his eyes, chest fluttering as he takes in a breath. "Me too, sweetheart. Me too."

[d3adbr3inc3lls]

Just Two Teens (highschool AU) | Spinel x Reader | Oneshot

I had a convo with @//amethiosspouse abt this but I'm using diff headcannons and such for this,

CW: Implied stalking,(?)

You never really noticed the boy with teal hair until recently when he came late to class, uttering an apology to the teacher with a slip of paper between his fingers explaining his late arrival.

That was the first time you've ever noticed him, and ever since then, it's like you can't just not notice him. He's in most of your classes, he's in your Calc, Digital Solutions, English and he's in some of your Sciences, the only subjects where you don't really see him are the two subjects you chose to make school tolerable.

Apparently, he's one of the smartest students in your grade which honestly suprised you because he'd often skip class, preferring to watch some streamer in the bathroom instead of focusing on his poor attendance to class.

But hey, the teachers couldn't complain, he was the best student in the class.

Sometimes you swore he was following you, or even keeping tabs. It started with him following your pokégram -which was set to private and had no mentions of your name or anything that could hint at it being you- and it slowly spiralling to you seeing him during breaks and in hallways despite your other classes being nowhere near eachother.

Talking to him was easy, he sat with no-one, giving you a chance to sit next to him.

He never admitted or hinted at stalking you, (even if the chances of it happening were high) but you never asked.

--

"Fancy seeing you here,"

The teal-haired main quickly flicked his head up, his body relaxing as he realised that it was just you, and not one of his other quote-unquote friends.

Nodding, he slid his glasses -which you swore didn't have lenses- up his nose before patting a spot next to him, his mechanical pencil was slotted between his fingers as he corrected his finger placement before continuing to write.

"Assignments, eh?"

Talking to him proved to be difficult at times. He rarely spoke to people, preferring to be an observer and only speak up when he knew what to say.

Nodding, the teen quickly read his paragraph before scribbling some stuff down and sliding the piece of paper into his English book.

"Yeah. English is fairly simple. Hopefully you've worked on yours at home, it's due tomorrow."

You often forgot that he sat behind you in English, so he knew about all those times you've played games instead of focusing on classwork.

To be fair, tetris was a relatively simple and mindless game that kept your attention to the arc-awful audio book playing in the background.

"Give me some credit, I've finished the assignment a few days ago,"

It was true. You finished the assignment as quickly as possible so you could do whatever you felt like in class, and it proved to be successful, with you handing in your printed copy to the teacher last period who was happily suprised.

Nodding, the teal haired teen glanced in your direction, only to focus on the science building somewhat infront of the two of you.

"We have math next, and that assignment is due today,"

Picking himself up off the ground, Spinel grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, giving you a grin as he left you dumbfounded.

Since when did you have a math assignment??

[theetherealraphael]

uhhhhh so i have an incorrect quotes generator. so i made incorrect quotes ::::3

feat. @shakespeare-official-account, @thesmallestclown, @nanochittle, @gibbish-anon-from-gell, @darthpastry and myself

i would have featured more people but the generator has a maximum of 6 people ::::(

(if youre uncomfy with this please lmk!)

clown: Never going to a debate team meeting again. gibbish started their argument with "Riddle me this".

shakespeare: When manga characters add a heart emoji to their speech... I wish I could do that.

clown: You can. Just put a little love in your voice. Smile. People hear it.

gibbish: Moan.

shakespeare: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.

clown: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

*gibbish and raphael's house is on fire, but they don't know it*

gibbish: Damn, it's hot in here.

raphael: I know, it's so hot there's smoke coming out of the vent!

gibbish:

gibbish: First of all, I'm assuming you have no idea what the problem with that statement is.

raphael: What?

gibbish: Second of all, we need to get the fuck out of here, NOW.

*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*

nano: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?

raphael: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.

clown: What about gibbish? Nobody ever suspects gibbish!

gibbish: Well what about shakespeare? They have a gun!

shakespeare: nano has a knife.

nano: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs clown in the arm*

raphael: Everytime I move, I crunch like popcorn.

shakespeare, singing: And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly!

gibbish: You can probably tell which family member is coming upstairs by their step pattern but wouldn't be able to pick your your own.

nano: If my own footsteps were coming down the hall towards me I reckon I would have bigger problems on my hands.

clown: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??

shakespeare: So fuck oxygen, I guess.

clown: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

clown: What's this?

shakespeare, hugging clown: Affection!

clown: Disgusting.

clown: ...Do it again.

shakespeare: What if I took off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath?

clown: You mean... Skin?

shakespeare: What an absolutely terrifying thing to say. Thank you.

raphael: Doctor-Patient confidentiality goes both ways. I saw my doctor killing someone on the street and driving off and I'll have to live and die quiet about it.

raphael, teaching biology: Now, what's the opposite of dominant genes?

gibbish: Submissive genes.

shakespeare: Hey darth?

darth: Yeah?

shakespeare: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

darth:

darth: ...What.

shakespeare: So, does everybody understand?

gibbish: Yep!

raphael: I don’t think we’re on the same page.

darth: I don’t think we’re in the same book.

clown: I’m personally on a kindle.

shakespeare: …I’ll take that as a yes.

gibbish: Was I supposed to read something????

nano: I’d rather watch the movie, thank you.

gibbish: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.

raphael, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.

nano, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.

raphael: Coming right up.

clown: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

shakespeare: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

raphael: Fuck you.

shakespeare: There was a lizard in the shower so I said "Hello" to it and the person showering next to me was like "Hi?".

shakespeare: I wasn't sure whether to carry on the conversation or be like "Sorry, I was talking to a lizard."

clown: FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEAR DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED!

clown: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY!

raphael: clown just threw a tantrum about a chair.

raphael: I just won clown Tantrum Bingo.

raphael: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

raphael: Hey there demons, It's me, ya boi.

shakespeare: raphael, NO!

gibbish, glaring at nano's coffin: We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY. Couldn't stay alive.

shakespeare: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

raphael: Maybe a bit tipsy?

nano: Drunk.

gibbish: Wasted.

darth: Dead.

raphael: I just want someone to take me out.

gibbish: On a date?

shakespeare: With a sniper gun?

clown: Both if you're not a coward.

nano: Real men don't hit you up at night asking for pictures of your naked body.

nano: Real men hit their desk with closed fists deMANDING PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN.

raphael, holding a Wii mote with a knife attached: Are Wii gonna have a problem?

nano, bringing out their switch remote with a blade: You best switch up that attitude.

-An hour later...-

clown, in the ambulance: Wii-U! Wii-U! Wii-U!

darth: I hate this fucking family.

gibbish: We ran out of coffee so I'm experimenting with new flavors and expanding my tastebuds.

clown: Oh, cool! So what are you drinking right now?

gibbish: Straight bleach.

clown: I have a problem.

raphael: If it's harder than 2+2, I can't help.

clown: gibbish does what people think Harry Styles does.

shakespeare: Men?

shakespeare: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

clown: They do.

darth: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

nano: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.

nano: *cuts piece of cake*

raphael: ...Can I have some?

nano: Cake is for talkers.

[reggies-eyeliner]

𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐏𝐒 (CLOSED)!

OPEN 7/14-7/30!!

-> matchups + moodboards + playlists + headcanons! please read all of the rules listed below and pop into my ask box! if you need an idea on what my past matchups look like please check out these links! :DD

THIS IS LIKE A BUFFET. PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT BABES MWAHAHAHA

FANDOMS (up to two*):

across the spider-verse*

most animated movies (httyd, bh6, rotg^^)

lockwood & co*

stranger things

avatar: the last airbender

the legend of korra

rottmnt**

voltron: legendary defenders

* i've only watched the series so far + i'm about to start the comics/books (and very excited to omg) !! just an fyi that my pairings will most likely revolve more around the characters featured in the series IM SORRY I SWEAR I'LL GET TO THE BOOKS/COMICS ASAP

**exclusively platonic matchups preferred/qpr!

* if you are requesting two fandoms, please tell me which one to prioritize more! the first one will be the full-length, but the second will be around a half of the content in the prioritized fandom.

TYPES OF MATCHUPS:

the classic: submit in matchup information + get paired with (a) romantic partner(s)! in return for the matchup information, you will receive: a 1x3 moodboard, one song + a hefty list of headcanons + a mix-and-match randomized trope explanation! (ex: a blurb about sharing a bed, first time meeting, fake dating confession scene ; ~100 words!)

the platonic machup: platonic matchups (my personal fave MWAHAHA)! you'll get paired with as many characters as you'd like<3!! in return for matchup information, you will receive: a 1x3 moodboard, one song + a hefty list of headcanons + incorrect quotes describing your dynamic between you and your found family/best bro<3

customized schedule: submit what your schedule looks like throughout any day of the week (up to two) + matchup information (platonic or romantic), you will receive: an hourly schedule on what life is like with said character i match you with + the aspects of your life with them! (ex: 8am, wake up by their side + they make you coffee blah blah blah), + a song for each moment of the day to describe your dynamic :D

MATCHUP INFORMATION:

name + preferred gender(s) to be paired with + preferred age group(s)

preferred fandom (up to two are okay, but please let me know which one you'd like me to focus on more!)

platonic and/or romantic + polycule preference etc + preferred age group!!

you can include your sexuality if you'd like to (only if you want me to touch on the aspect on how your matchup will support you because. yeah<3)

giving + receiving love languages

hobbies, talents, things that make you you (think: if this wasn't in my life, how different would i be?)

mbti/zodiac (optional)

personality, how you handle difficult situations

what consist of a good memory for you

favorite songs + music taste/colors/any kind of aesthetics!!

anything that brings you comfort/anything that doesn't give you comfort (can be about a relationship or just in life :-D)

OTHER RULES?

preferably off anon! i'd love to talk to you more after the matchup submission as well MWAHHAHA<333 if you're planning on being anon, an emoji anon would be p cool so we can chat more!

as i'm also a busy student, i will prioritize school-- if you submit a matchup, please be prepared to have up to anywhere from a 1-14 day wait! i'll send you a message that i got your ask hehe

i will also be mostly inactive writing-wise from 7/18-7/23 as i will be on a trip, so please keep that in mind!

you should totally use a pick up line in my ask box i enjoy pick up lines so much. or one of those "less than one minute" videos on youtube those are the best man

please know that i absolutely love writing and talking to people, but i also have my own limits to what i can/cannot do for people! if you send nsfw content, pedophilia, violence, gore, heavy vents, all that not-so-great-stuff or an ask comes off as rude or demanding, i have all rights to avoid doing it and dismiss it without any warning. ASJCHS JUST be a decent human being in short that's all i'm asking RAHHH

OTHER THAN THAT MAN write as much/little as you'd like!!

#send a request here! :D

[darkpeacemusic]

Incorrect Creepypasta Quotes because y'all loved my slasher incorrect quotes

LJ: Hey, what are you reading?

Kate: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself.

LJ: Impressive! I must have it for myself!

Toby: So it’s just a Notebook?

Kate: It’s just a Notebook.

Masky: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Hoodie: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Hoodie: Is something burning?

Masky, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Hoodie: Masky, the toaster is literally on fire.

Hoodie: Hopefully Jeff has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.

Jeff: Oh, shut up and die Hoodie.

EJ: So, Masky and Hoodie.

EJ: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto…

Masky: We had a bad day.

EJ: And… MURDER?!

Hoodie: It was a pretty bad day…

Ben Drowned: Jeff is so...

Toby: Annoying?

LJ: Cute?

Liu: Funny?

Slender man: Weird?

Ben Drowned: I don't know, maybe if y'all let me FINISH for ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'd tell you!

Hoodie: What is the big deal about borrowing money? I do it all the time! Sometimes, I even pay it back!

Jeff: I think my guardian angel drinks.

LJ: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Jeff: Aww-

LJ: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

Jeff: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Jeff: One... two... three.

Liu: ...

Jeff: ...

Jeff: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

Masky: Do you want to know your gay name?

Hoodie: My... my gay name?

Masky: Yeah, it's your first name-

Hoodie: Haha. Very funny Masky-

Masky: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Hoodie: Oh- oh my god.

Kate: If we’re in trouble, just throw Jeff at the problem, and hope for the best.

Ben Drowned: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Liu: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?

Kate: Ya know... it might be.

LJ: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?

EJ: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

Masky: Jeff got into a fight.

Slender man: That’s bad.

Slender man:

Slender man: Did they win?

Jeff: Liu, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?

Liu: It... It didn't take me the whole day...

Masky: Do you have a bobby pin?

Jeff: Yeah. *searches in their hair*

Jeff: Oh, no, wait. I’m not a nine-year-old girl.

Toby: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life difficult.

LJ, sarcastically: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

LJ: I just watched Jeff jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, they weren't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Ben Drowned was screaming for help, which caused Liu to run in to help Jeff. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

LJ: Did you hear that!? Ben Drowned just threatened to destroy my lego AT-AT!

Slender man: ...You just threatened to kill them in their sleep.

Liu: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Toby: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

Toby: Who wants to make fifty bucks?

EJ: How?

Toby: I need someone to take the fall.

EJ: What did you do?

Toby: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Slender man, from the other room: Oh my god.

Toby: ...

Slender man: OH MY GOD!

EJ: Make it a hundred.

Toby: Deal.

Hoodie: Here’s the cold medicine you asked for.

Hoodie: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Jeff: ...Thanks.

Ben Drowned: sapnu puaS.

Masky: What??

Slender man: What language is that.

Ben Drowned: Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Ben Drowned was removed from the groupchat*

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian

Preorder

Add to Goodreads

Publication Date: June 6, 2023

Synopsis:

[I have opted to remove the comps listed on Goodreads because they are nonsense.]

Nick Russo has worked his way from a rough Brooklyn neighborhood to a reporting job at one of the city's biggest newspapers. But the late 1950s are a hostile time for gay men, and Nick knows that he can't let anyone into his life. He just never counted on meeting someone as impossible to say no to as Andy. Andy Fleming's newspaper-tycoon father wants him to take over the family business. Andy, though, has no intention of running the paper. He's barely able to run his life--he's never paid a bill on time, routinely gets lost on the way to work, and would rather gouge out his own eyes than deal with office politics. Andy agrees to work for a year in the newsroom, knowing he'll make an ass of himself and hate every second of it. Except, Nick Russo keeps rescuing Andy: showing him the ropes, tracking down his keys, freeing his tie when it gets stuck in the ancient filing cabinets. Their unlikely friendship soon sharpens into feelings they can't deny. But what feels possible in secret--this fragile, tender thing between them--seems doomed in the light of day. Now Nick and Andy have to decide if, for the first time, they're willing to fight.

My Rating: ★★★★★

A few months ago he told himself that his choices—that any queer person’s choices—were either to hide or brazen it out, and that’s still true. But there’s another possibility: pushing back against the injustices that force people to make impossible choices.

*My Review and Favorite Quotes below the cut.

My Review:

I read this book in one sitting - while I was supposed to be reading an entirely different book. I picked it up meaning to read a chapter or two while I ate lunch -- because it's easier to read on a kindle than a paperback while eating -- and the next thing I knew I was turning the last page. I can't remember the last time I did that. I knew I would love it from the beginning; that was a given - it's a Cat Sebastian book. But I wasn't prepared for how much I would love it, or for how many feelings it gave me. This book is devastating in its quiet queer joy and relentless hope while living in the face of prejudice and hate. It's about a queer couple in the newspaper publishing world of New York City of the 1950s. It's about the slow realization of feelings, and the inevitable and infinitesimal merging of lives, and the way you can breathe easier when you have a community of people like you who understand you and know you. It's about the comfort and happiness to be found in the little things in life. And it's so soft and domestic, even with the uncertainty and the lies and the hiding. Which takes skill. I teared up several times, enough that it made it difficult to keep reading. I *felt* the truth in this story viscerally. Times may have changed (somewhat) but I could still understand the hesitance and the fear and defiant joy that make up a queer existence. In some ways it was starkly different than Cat Sebastian's other books, and yet in other ways it felt familiar. She straddled the line between quiet joy and simmering rage at the realities of queer life. It was intense and healing and beautiful. I didn't want it to end. I was bracing myself for tragedy as the book progressed, and I'm so glad that isn't the sort of story Cat Sebastian is telling here. That instead she is telling a story of people who just want to live their lives, and who find the courage in themselves to do so despite the fear and threats. Like Nick, I was dreading reading about another queer tragedy. The characters were beautifully drawn and felt so real. I came to care about them so much and feel like they were my friends. It was masterfully done. The setting also felt incredibly, painfully real. It was 100% believable. *Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for providing an early copy for review.

Favorite Quotes:

Nick has spent years making sure that when people look at him, they don’t see anything that sticks out like a sore thumb—they don’t see anything at all, they hardly even see a person, just a man in a suit.

---

Andy gives him this flat, disappointed look that Nick recognizes because Nick invented it and now he’s going to have to sue Andy for copyright infringement.

---

“Back in his day they didn’t have Band-Aids,” Nick continues. “They just slapped mud on their wounds and went back to drawing the news on the walls of their caves.” “I can still hear you,” Jorgensen says. “It’s nice when the elderly keep their hearing,” Andy observes.

---

“It’s the creme de menthe,” Nick says, eying the green liquid distastefully. “It’s like drinking toothpaste, if toothpaste got ideas above its station.”

---

“A heart doctor, though,” he says in a tone that suggests that getting jilted in favor of cardiologists is all anyone can expect. That maybe Andy should have considered medical school if he didn’t want to get jilted. That Emily did what she had to do, because who could turn down a heart doctor?

---

“I was going to make minestrone soup,” Nick says. “You like soup.” “I do like soup,” Andy agrees. “I take it that’s an invitation, not you taunting me with soup I don’t get to eat.”

---

He feels as if he’s been turned inside out, as if he just learned that a part of his heart is on the outside of his body, in the possession of somebody else entirely.

---

But somehow, a journalist being hurt because he’s on to a dangerous story seems less traumatic than someone being attacked for living his life.

---

Andy worries that it’s his lot in life to be mocked by elderly Italian women.

---

Andy isn’t expecting an epiphany at eight on a Monday morning when he’s still mostly asleep, when his first cup of coffee is still hot in his hand. Honestly, Andy isn’t expecting an epiphany ever.

---

A couple times a year, Nick finds a tale of gay misery and woe on his desk, because apparently Bailey has taken it upon himself to be Nick’s personal sad gay librarian.

----

“You have shitty taste in books. Would it kill you to read something that isn’t totally dismal?” “I’m paid for my taste in books,” Bailey says easily. “And I don’t mind dismal things. I’m trying to be your friend, aren’t I?”

---

Families might usually be bonded by blood, but maybe sometimes they’re bonded by shared secrets, by a delicate mixture of caution and faith, by the conviction that hiding together is better in every way than hiding alone.

---

That might be what turns the tide and makes Nick enjoy the book, at least a little. These men are finding time and energy to flirt and have queer parties and get jealous and fall in love despite bombs and injuries and death. That feels like the truest thing he’s ever read.

---

“Yes, well. I figured, you see.” He stops, looking suddenly at a loss. “People in New York have hearts, too, don’t they?” And Emily must really love him if she’s susceptible to a line like that.

----

A few months ago he told himself that his choices—that any queer person’s choices—were either to hide or brazen it out, and that’s still true. But there’s another possibility: pushing back against the injustices that force people to make impossible choices.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

2, 18, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 30 and 35 for the fanfic asks

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

Almost always from either prompts, being particularly mad about something in canon, or being particularly mad about an aspect of fanon lol

18. Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

I do! But I try to avoid it for fanfic. My original fiction is usually historical or historically inspired fantasy so I try to not get bogged down in too much research for fanfic purposes lol. But that being said, my Grishaverse time loop fic has required the most research, both in just constantly referencing the books, but also I’ve had to look up appropriate food and specifically wedding customs when I ran out of worldbuilding/wanted to change it up a little bit.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Sometimes during, most often after! I usually either use a quote from the story or try to string together something random lol. When I’m really stumped or on a time crunch that’s when I go digging through classics and steal a line. For instance “Drop by drop upon the heart” is from Aeschylus. “Leave them and walk with dust” is from Cain by Lord Byron. and “And I said to the star: consume me” is from a Virginia Wolfe poem iirc? But I think that’s about it, I otherwise try to come up with my own titles.

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

Hmm probably the ending! I often just struggle a little with how to end fanfic. Because while I do loosely outline, it’s usually not structured— which is how I would plan original fiction. So sometimes I do struggle with not knowing the ending or feeling like the story kind of just stopped instead of ending. With shorter stuff it’s easy because it’s a single scene, so ending the scene is enough. But I have the most trouble with ending fics that have multiple scenes.

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

Most of my fic ideas tend to center on something emotionally. Like a character learns of something difficult, is confronted with something, is trying to move past x thing, etc. So that tends to pretty intuitively lead to a POV choice. If I am doing multi POV however or otherwise undecided then I just try to pick based on whichever character has the most interesting internal thought process going on and/or whose emotional situation is least translatable via external markers.

Like if I’m writing a scene with and it boils down to on the one side, “Alina is sad” and on the other “Zoya is in love with her but she’s trying to hide it” then the latter is both more interesting and harder to get across from the alternative POV. So if I was weighing the two options, I’d write from Zoya’s perspective. (Which makes me a liar bc that was the last scene I just wrote in a fic and since it’s all Alina POV… I did not write from Zoya’s perspective)

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Brainstorming/outlining hands down. Everything else sucks and I hate it 💖

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Drafting for sure. Also the last like 10% of editing really gets me. When something is close to done but not enough to post it. I just get frustrated and impatient lol.

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Probably matching character voices and keeping things ic, at least to how I perceive the character?

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I try to keep editing at a prose level minimal tbh just bc I’m already really slow as a writer and my biggest challenge is just getting things written and finished. So I try to avoid any obstacles that’ll cause me to drag my feet. But also if I end up fucking hating a character choice I’m not averse to scrapping a scene and starting over. And again I will rearrange dialogue etc endlessly if I feel like it’s not working on a character level.

35. Do you use a beta reader/editor?

No but I would love one 😭😭 Fanfic Ask Game

[t-and-her-books]

The Spirit Engineer by A.J West

"Ghosts are mere memories of lives passed, granted a reassuring afterlife, manifested by the pleading, grasping, fearful imagination of our own mortality."

"Doubt is, after all, the mother of inquiry and the grandmother of resolution."

(Bcs I can't pick just 1 quote out of this incredible book)

Personal rating: 7/10 Summary: Belfast, 1914. Two years after the sinking of the Titanic, high society has become obsessed with spiritualism in the form of seances that attempt to contact the spirits of loved ones lost at sea. William is a man of science and a sceptic, but one night with everyone sat around the circle something happens that places doubt in his heart and a seed of obsession in his mind. Could the spirits truly be communicating with him or is this one of Kathleen’s parlour tricks gone too far?

︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄ thoughts

(Spoilers under the cut)

The Spirit Engineer by AJ West (to my surprise) was inspired by real stories with the main characters and main supporting characters like William Jackson Crawford, his family, Kathleen Goligher, and her family being real people. The only people that were figments of his imagination was Adelia Carter and Albert Blithe.

First and foremost the book itself is a historical fiction that feels more fictional than historical, so it is easy to read for those that do not want to skim through historical jargon. Despite this, the book itself feels slow at the beginning and middle when compared to the climax of the story.

With the beginning having an almost menial day to day descriptions of what is happening to William and the last part of the middle onwards having numerous time skips and time jumps.

This book follows the life of William Jackson Crawford, a professor in engineering that lives in the edge of poverty with his family comprised of his wife, two daughters, and his youngest and only son. It is written in William's perspective as he goes through the trials and tribulations of managing a facade in front of not only himself but his family and peers. The facade of an intelligent man that is worthy of respect.

Everywhere he goes, William, though intelligent in his own right, is somehow looked down upon by everyone around him.

One more note, though the book seems to have a horror/thriller aspect, that isn't heavily explored until near the end of the book where I was basically sitting on the edge of my seat.

(Spoilers starting now)

I find the story to be slightly boring in the beginning, though it does serve purpose. William Crawford at the start of the story lives his average life, difficult, but average. It isn't until the seances and his spiritual investigations does his life begin to get more interesting as he begins to go mad. So the fact that it isn't until this point that I find myself really pulled into the book isn't that surprising.

The book itself portrays William's slow descend to madness beautifully at the beginning of the book. With his repeated humiliation showing the readers why he is such an insecure man. But near the end his brutality with his experiment with Kathleen feels somewhat rushed.

I feel like the book itself could explore more the middle between when William was invited to London and when he starts his London tour. Not to mention there are one loose thread in the story that annoyingly is never resolved, the pamphlet and the audience's outrage following William's lecture of the spiritual phenomenas is briskly forgotten after he meets with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Harry Houdini (which might I add made me scream the first time I read their interaction).

Though it is explored how it practically ruined his psyche, that part feels rushed as well. Especially with how quickly the end and the twist was revealed. The pace of the ending was definitely needed with how slow the start was. It was a refreshing end. But the middle, when the jump happened, did give me whiplash (lmao).

The horror aspect at the end, especially with all the reveals, William's mother possessing Rose and the picture he carried with him not actually being a picture of his mother was incredible. I was at the edge of my seat actually scared. (Though this might be due to the fact that I was reading this at 2am when I couldn't sleep, needless to say I didn't sleep till the sun rose that night.) (I blame it on my jetlag).

︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄ character analysis

⋆ ★ William Jackson Crawford

This man was so interesting to read. I was on his side up until the end! And when he met Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?!?!??! And Harry Houdini????? I was going insane like legitimately insane. Ok back to the actual analysis:

William Jackson Crawford is a deeply insecure and troubled man, not to mention haunted (both literally and figuratively lmao). From the very beginning we can tell he's not someone who holds himself at a high regard, despite how he talks about himself. He sees himself as someone with such high potential but when people confront him about it he loses so much of his own pride that it's honestly sad to see.

The biggest example of this is his bladder issues. Having bladder problems is seen as something humiliating, especially if those issues were connected to someone of his valour. A middle-aged professor of engineering, a father of three, and a husband. It's embarrassing and humiliating. We can see how this affected him twice in the story, both of those happening in the first two acts of the book.

The first being when Principle Forth invited him to come to the gala earlier, he believes this is because he has a higher calling by the principal, he believes that this is finally his time to shine. That's why he recites his studies about the dirigibles in the bathroom only to lose all his confidence when Albert Blithe comes in. His lost in confidence doesn't only show in his stuttering but because he is unable to release his bladder. Which causes Albert to chuckle before leaving.

The second is when he soils himself after the seance in the attic. Only for Samuel Goligher, the boy he looks down upon repeatedly in his classroom, to humiliate and laugh at him.

I wish AJ West did something more with this because, though disgusting, is an interesting aspect in William's life. A part of me wonder if this was all a hint to William's troubled life unbeknownst to him, the one that was revealed in the end, especially with how he burned down the Goligher home and killed Rose. As bladder issues like bed-wetting are symptoms of a budding serial killer. (I'm not kidding search it up).

Either way, one amazing thing AJ West has done with William as a character is really get into his mind. As a reader, I was always with William, when he didn't believe in the spirits and ghosts I followed with him. I had the same amount of suspicion as he did. But when the 'evidence' starts to stack up, I soon follow suit that the spirits in this book is real. That he is hearing the voices of Noah, Robert, and his mother. The book gives you no room for suspicion for William's character up until the start of the last 2 acts when he starts acting sporadically and insanely.

That is when the veil starts to get lifted, but only because his actions have gone more brazen and brutal. With getting Rose to search within Kathleen's orifices and gagging everyone in his experiments. It was difficult and brutal to read.

It made the revelation at the end that much more incredible. That all of it was a partly a figment of his own imagination.

⋆ ★ Elizabeth Crawford

I'm torn with Elizabeth's characterisation. I don't really know how to feel when it comes to her. I feel like there's a lot of directions AJ West was trying to go to with Elizabeth, but at the end of the day she feels like a tool to move the story forward instead of herself.

In the first part of the book she plays the role of loving wife and grieving sister very well. She loves William and, to some degree, feels comfortable around him, if the whole part in the gala where she was falling asleep to him was anything to say. But this makes no sense if I were to connect it with the reveal in the end where it turns out that he beats her in his sleep. I suspected her to be more standoffish than she actually is.

Her standoffish behaviour only shines through when William gets madder and madder, which yes makes sense, but doesn't if you think that she's scared of him when he sleeps. It would make more sense if she's even more scared of him during this part and instead the loving and caring version of her (in the first part) during the beginning of William's investigations.

Because she does say near the end that when the spiritual investigations began, William started sleeping soundly again, until the demons that haunted his nights before the investigations start bleeding into his real self in the day. To me this reveal in the end would then make sense of how Elizabeth should've acted in the middle of the story if she was suddenly more loving and comfortable. Only to get even more fearful and distant nearing the end.

Imo Elizabeth's outburst with the knife at the end deserves more attention. Like, woman deserves a whole cleaver and chase scene with William with all the shit he did to her tbh tbh tbh (jkjk or am I? elizabeth a better woman than me, if some guy did that to me I'd die the moment Noah died)

⋆ ★ Kathleen Goligher

I HAVE SO MUCH QUESTIONS ABOUT KAHTLEEN GOLIGHER

Okay her 'character analysis' is going to be the least analysis analysis out of all of them. Because I DON'T GET IT???

At the start of the story she's this mysterious figure we don't know too much about. It isn't until she practically begged William to come to the seances and prove whether or not she's actually a real medium does her character begin to get even more interesting. Because it made me wonder if Kathleen was being forced by her mother/sister/Noah to perform these parlour tricks.

It shows how childish she actually is. It paints a picture into the readers mind of her not as another person but as a character with history and fears and a child at heart. She's questioning herself and she's scared, it gives her dimensions.

Especially as the story progresses and William's experiments get more and more immoral, we sympathise with her more and more despite how William thought of her at the start of the story.

But with the ending being revealed that:

She's actually lying and all the supernatural things happening are just tricks

She does actually perform seances, one that Elizabeth believed, and one that called William to the attic that very first night

Doesn't these two contradict one another??? Or was that just the point??? Because if so, ARE THE GOLIGHERS ACTUALLY FRAUDS OR NOT??? Cause like every single supernatural 'evidence' in William's experiments were proven false at the end of the book. So what the hell does that make Kathleen??? Wdym she called William with her spirits?? So does she actually have spirits or not?

Are the spirits a lie or is it just the proof that William have found??

I'm so confused by her but god damn do I feel bad for her near the final chapters. Especially when she was brought over to the Crawford home and she asked where her mam and sister was. Like that just broke my heart.

⋆ ★ SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE AND HARRY HOUDINI

WHY? CAUSE I'M INSANE FOR THEM AND I JUST NEED TO PUT IT HERE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. THEY SHOW UP FOR ONE CHAPTER AND MY MIND AND SOUL IS JUST FILLED WITH THEM THE ENTIRETY OF THE STORY JUST LIKE WILLIAM WHICH MAKES IT JUST

AAAAA

CHEF'S KISS

Anyways, this is a direct quote on my annotation right after reading chapter 37, enjoy my insanity.

"THIS ENTIRE PAGE IS AMAZING TO READ. A LITERAL WONDER AND INCREDIBLE WORK OF JUST TWO PAGES AND I'M INSANE. I LITERALLY LOVE THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH. William's panic, his fear, his idea that they are ridiculing him when no! They're DISCUSSING with him!!"

"These two men have such bright intelligence that they find security in their own beliefs and knowledge THAT THEY ACHE TO CHALLENGE IT!!! WHERE WILLIAM IS SOMEONE WHO BASKS AND NEEDS OTHER PEOPLE'S APPRECIATION AND VALIDATION THAT HE'S SCARED AND DOWNRIGHT TERRIFIED OF EVER BEING PROVEN OR THOUGHT OF AS WRONG!!!!"

Moral of the story: I love historical history and is down bad at the idea of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle just fully reading William Jackson Crawford TO SHREDS!

[devildomimagines]

Could you do the brothers (Lucifer especially) reacting to an MC who jokes all the time, seems carefree and stupid but eventually they find out that MC is actually a very deeply caring, responsible and intelligent person. They act like an idiot likely as a response to some adversity in their own past. Sorry if its complicated, i just like the idea of the brothers almost discounting MC only to realise they weren't looking deeply enough

Hi Anon! Thanks for the request! Sorry it took me so long to get to, it's been busy in my personal life. The older brothers are under the cut so this post isn’t a mile long lol. I hope this is worth the wait!

Belphegor

King of rolling his eyes at your antics.

Belphie is maybe the most knowledgeable about humans so, of anyone, he might be able to see a little deeper than the surface.

On one of the rare occasions you got Belphie out of the house, you two came across a Little D that was clearly lost.

He didn’t pay it any mind since he figured the Little D would just teleport to their master but you insisted on helping.

As you knelt down to the creature Belphie stood back and watched as you quickly soothed the Little D’s worries and it hopped into your arms. 

You brushed past Belphie to carry the spirit across the street and start talking to the shop owner. The two of you laughed and Little D hopped over to the shop owner’s hands.

“The shop keeper knows that Little D’s master and will give them a call,” you explained as you wrapped your arm around his and began leading him down the road.

“You’re amazing MC,” Belphie murmured, such a small act really changed his view of you.

Where he thought you were foolish in trusting him after what happened in the attic, he realized that he wasn’t a special case of forgiveness, you were just a truly caring person. 

“Hm, what was that Belphie?” You asked but he wasn’t sure if you actually didn’t hear him or if you were teasing.

He wasn’t too proud to admit his feelings but his face did heat up a bit, “I said you’re amazing.”

Beelzebub

He’s pretty caring for a demon so he could see you were too, although maybe he didn’t know the depth until today.

The two of you were enjoying a meal in Hell’s Kitchen. Beel was absorbed in the food that he didn’t at first notice you were distracted.

When you asked for a moment and got up to grab the attention of a waiter. Beel watched on curiously, he was hoping you were asking for more food.

The waiter nodded along and ducked into the kitchen. You waited in that spot and you caught Beel’s stare. You waved at him with a smile.

He waved back with a fried shadow bat in hand.

You laughed and then the waiter was back. They handed you a to-go container, you talked for a second, probably thanking them and then made your way across the restaurant, walking right past your table.

Beel thought to call out to you as if you had somehow accidentally overshot the table but you made your way right out the door.

He started to get up to go after you, he shoveled a few things in his mouth not totally satisfied but more confused why you were leaving.

Then he saw you through the window. He stopped moving as you approached a small demon looking into the restaurant through the window. Beel sat and watched the scene unfold.

It jumped back away from you, probably not having seen a human before, and was clearly defensive as you talked. You then offered the to-go container, popping it open so the demon could see the food contained.

The little demon inched closer, clearly hungry and tempted by the food you offered. You nodded and the demon took the container and ran. You watched for a second and then came back into the restaurant to join Beel.

You sat down like nothing had happened and went back to your meal. When Beel didn’t start eating you asked,  “What is it? Do I have something on my face!?”

He shook his head no, “You’re incredible.” He picked back up eating but he would not forget this moment.

Asmodeus

You watched on as Asmo was applying his make-up. He always enjoys your company when preparing for the day but he noted you were reading the ingredients pretty seriously.

“What’s got you frowning MC?” 

“This is from the human realm, right?” you held up the bottle so he could see the label in the mirror.

He hummed, “That’s right, I get products from all over so that one is definitely from the human realm. Have you used it before?”

“Um, no I tended to stay away from their brand.” You put the bottle back where you found it.

“Why’s that? It is kind of expensive in Grimm, was it the same in your currency?”

“Not really, it’s just that…” you paused trying to think of the most sensitive way to put it, “there are make-up brands in the human realm that test their products on animals before marketing it to humans.”

“How cute!” Asmo giggled at the thought of bunnies in blush.

“No Asmo, it’s more like they are testing if their products are safe for humans by using animals as a proxy. It can be brutal and even unnecessary and could result in the animal’s death.”

Asmo had stopped and turned to look at you as you explained. His face was slightly troubled.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable! I just tried to use products that didn’t use that as a part of their process in manufacturing so as to not cause any unnecessary distress.”

He nodded understanding your thought process. The Devildom didn’t have such markers since suffering was the norm.

The fact that you were thinking about what products you used and their impact on others, even just some animals, had him reassessing you.

It was more thoughtful than he originally credited you. When you and him were joking around and gossiping, he figured your interests were more superficial.

It was refreshing that not only could you keep up with the most recent hot news around town but you truly cared and respected your impact on others.

“Asmo?” You asked, he had been quiet for a while lost in thought.

“It’s nothing!” He recovered but he kept peeking back at you with a mysterious smile.

Satan

The two of you were studying in the RAD library.

There was a particularly tough exam coming up, notorious for dropping the GPA of 75% off the class.

Satan was confident in his abilities but he agreed to come study for your sake. He didn’t have access to know your grade like Lucifer did but he assumed you were struggling by your pleas for his help and deprecating jokes about failing.

He watched as you diligently took out your books and notebook. You flipped through a few of your notes and then shifted your focus to your textbook. Satan shrugged as he opened his own books, you seemed to be off to a fine start.

After about an hour you asked, “Can we quiz each other?”

He agreed and flipped to the end of the chapter he was on for the review questions. Satan took a question and asked it in a slightly different way so you couldn’t rely on memorized answers. 

To his surprise you answered correctly and made up a question for him that he thought was actually pretty difficult. 

Of course he got it right but shrugged it off as a fluke that you didn’t mean to ask such a hard question. The next one he asked you was harder, not from the textbook in any way, it was something that the teacher had mentioned offhand in class.

You got it correct again. With your turn next, you asked another complex question.

Satan answered properly but was now on the edge of his seat, surely twice in a row was not a coincidence.

His next question, he matched your difficulty. You thought for a few minutes and dived into explanation with examples and even a source that you quoted off the top of your head. Your answer was insightful and succinct.

You were waiting for Satan’s assessment of your answer but he sat unmoving.

“Was I mistaken?” You asked, and started frantically looking through your notes.

While you reviewed your materials, Satan was seeing you in a new light. He figured you got along so well with Mammon because the two of you could joke and slack off with the best of them. He thought that you and Asmo got along more as a pair of airheads. But here you were, in this moment your intelligence came off as easy and effortless.

“No, you were right.”

“Really?” you looked up surprised but happy.

He smiled back, but wondered, “What is your current grade in this class, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Last I checked, like 96?”

Satan laughed and shook his head, unbelievable that he thought otherwise.

Leviathan

He already thought of himself as a charity case. The fact that you would be willing to sacrifice your time to be with him was a miracle in his eyes.

No matter how many times you told him you wanted to hang out with him, it wasn’t a sacrifice, he still didn’t believe you.

When he gets more comfortable around you, he let’s you see his uglier sides when the envy consumes him.

You were a safe space he could vent to and you took that responsibility seriously. You listened and he felt the things he shared never left his room when you left.

It was after one of those vent/gaming sessions that you had to excuse yourself.

You had never gotten up in the middle like that and it scared Levi, had he gone too far? Did you actually hate him?

He watched silently as you left the room. Once the door closed, he was on his feet, what was so important? He decided to follow you.

Levi followed about a hallway behind you, as you turned a corner he would sprint to the corner to watch where you go next.

He followed all the way to the kitchen? He didn’t want to peek in fear of being caught but he listened as you greeted Beel.

Beel asked what’s up and you answered you were getting snacks for an intense gaming night with Levi. Beel must have perked up with the snacks you grabbed and you shooed him off, “If Levi’s up for it, you can join us but you can’t have that snack, I made it for a special occasion.”

Special… special? Levi couldn’t wrap his head around it when he thought of himself but the silence in the kitchen meant you must be leaving… meaning you were heading right for the door he was cupping!

He turned around and found a hiding spot on the other side of the hall behind a vase.

The door swung open as he held his breath. You started the way you came. You were heading for his room and he wasn’t there!

Cue montage of Levi comically running through the halls of HOL to get to his room before. He jumps into his gaming chair seconds before you open his door quietly.

He was panting and sweaty when he turned towards you with a smile, totally failing to act natural.

“Sorry I got up so abruptly but I just remembered I made you this!” You presented a cupcake exactly replicated from the anime the two of you watched last week.

Levi’s heart melted, he felt bad that he had second guessed you. He reached out for the cupcake with one hand and with the other he took your hand to pull you to the bean bags. He was blushing but still said, “Let’s put on that anime while I eat it.”

The level of detail that you had gotten correct showed how dedicated you had been to paying attention to his interests and how much you cared for him in turn. He was also impressed with your baking knowledge, it takes a decent level of skill to be able to replicate something just from seeing it.

The scene was coming up where the protag was going to give the cupcake and Levi was struck with the most embarrassing thought. But if anyone would indulge him, it was you.

As the protag took the cupcake, Levi copied their posture. Then he copied their words in unison they both said, “Thank you, no one has ever made me anything like this before.” The two of them ripped the cupcake in half in the same spot and he extended the half to you as he protag did, “Will you share it with me?”

“Of course!” You and the character answered together then giggled as Levi blushed and hid behind the half cupcake as the two of you returned to sitting on the beanbags.

There was no way he was ever going to forget this moment, his eyes opened to how much you did care for him. Even if he was doubtful of others by nature, he would never doubt you again.

Mammon

People always write Mammon off as dumb and because you have a pact with him, you’re often included in that assumption. The two of you get along like peas in a pod. You’re here for a good time and Mammon can definitely provide that. 

His schemes to make money keep things interesting so you usually go along unless you have other commitments. Today’s work was clean-up in the local park. Not because it was lucrative, but because this was a punishment from a prank that backfired.

You had pleaded with Diavolo for a lighter sentence on Mammon’s behalf as his pact partner and Diavolo indulged you.

Mammon was brooding on your way to the park but you were looking forward to being outside in nature for the day so you chattered aloud to fill the silence.

Barbatos was waiting for you two with the materials you would need. He gave you a look of pity when you turned but Mammon caught it and knew Barbatos was probably feeling sorry you had to be punished when you didn’t do anything. Mammon ripped the rake out of Barbatos’ hand and sulked off after you.

You each set to different tasks, Mammon raking leaves and you weeding the flowerbeds. 

Demons and spirits passed with a few snickers, definitely not the first time Mammon had been sent to do community service but he hated that you were now a laughing stock with him. You didn’t seem phased by it though, even flashing him a bright smile when you two made eye contact. 

Halfway through the day, the two of you were taking a break for a snack and fluids, you shared a bench and admired the work so far. “We might even finish early!” You shared your optimism.

Mammon nodded but still kept quiet. It was so unlike him and you were hitting your limits of how to try to get him out of his own head, you figured he would be back to normal tomorrow but missed hearing his voice.

You two split the last of the duties, you were now cleaning equipment and decorations while he was trimming bushes and trees.

While Mammon was trimming a nearby bush, he heard your voice, then heard his name. He peeked through the bush to watch you talking with a crow.

“I thought it would make the day more fun if I was here with him because he always makes me have fun but it’s like I’ve made his mood worse…” You looked down at the bird bath you had been polishing and knelt down. The crow watched your movements from it’s perch on the top. “Maybe he hates that I intervened with Diavolo, I probably overstepped. I don’t know what I can do to get Mammon out of this funk. What do you think?”

The crow outstretched it’s wings and took off. You pouted, but continued polishing. Mammon was about to push through the bushes to comfort you, his mood wasn’t your fault and he felt even worse that you thought that but then the crow returned.

It swooped onto your shoulder and dropped something into your hand. You jumped with surprise and it scared the crow off your shoulder, it resettled on the bird bath. “This is perfect! Thank you!” The crow let you give it a few scritches and took off once more. You looked around for Mammon.

He nonchalantly rounded the bush so you would notice him, “Mammon! Look!” You rushed over and handed him the object.

It was a golden grimm coin. You explained, “A crow gave it to me, that has to be good luck! Take it and your luck will change, you won’t be punished forever!”

He wrapped you in a tight hug. What did he do to deserve you? Why did you care about him so deeply that you’d give him your treasure and good luck?

You laughed into his hug and he pulled back, “Alright, let’s finish this up and go home, I’ll treat ya to some ice cream on the way back.” He ruffled your hair but your shining eyes and too big smile made him blush and turn away.

Lucifer

He questioned if putting you under Mammon’s care at first was a mistake.

It’s not that you didn’t get along, in fact you two got along too well. Was Mammon’s stupid tendencies to slack off rubbing off on you?

You had been coming back late without being accompanied by one of his brothers and he was determined to find out what you were up to.

For the morning, he watched as you and Mammon walked to school. Lucifer stayed far enough away so he couldn’t be sensed so he couldn’t hear what you two were saying but it was clear you were having a good time. Mammon was snickering as you animatedly gestured and walked backwards. Lucifer’s heart warmed that his brother was genuinely happy then realized he was getting distracted.

You sat through your first class diligently taking notes and participating. The same for most of the classes that day. Lucifer started to acknowledge your responsibility to learning but it made him all the more curious as to why you skipped your last class. 

He watched you look around for any onlookers and dipped into the library. He was both surprised and amused that you were meeting with Simeon. The angel was leading you astray? 

Simeon didn’t look happy about it either, probably scolding you for missing class, but he was a pushover and your pathetic look won him over. The two of you sat as Simeon talked. You were taking notes on whatever Simeon was lecturing on. 

You left the interaction and Lucifer took the chance to talk with Simeon himself. He learned that you were asking about stories from the Celestial Realm. Simeon offered that it was just human nature to be curious what lays beyond life. Lucifer, the ever-skeptic, didn’t believe that was it.

He had lost your trail by talking to Simeon so he went home to wait for your return.

Lucifer intercepted you as you tried to sneak in. “MC, this way please,” he led you to his office, “How was today?”

“Good?” you answered but was unsure why he looked so serious.

“How was class?” 

You got nervous but answered, “Fine, same old same old.”

“Ah,” Lucifer smirked, “And how was Simeon?”

Your attempt to play dumb failed spectacularly when you stammered, “W-who’s Simeon?”

“Lying to me won’t do you well,” Lucifer reminded.

“Sorry, it’s just it wasn’t an approved activity so I didn’t want anyone in your family to be implicated…” you scratched the back of your head and looked away.

“And what activity is that?”

“Oh I thought you knew since you caught me,” you laughed, “Solomon and I were going to play with young demons at an orphanage in town. We were telling them stories from the Human Realm but I thought it would be nice to incorporate stories from the Celestial Realm too.”

Lucifer sighed.

You took that as a sign he was disappointed so you continued, “Let me explain, I know I should have asked permission first and for that I’m sorry. Solomon and I just stumbled on the place one day and the kids bombarded us with questions, never having seen humans before and before I knew it we were going almost everyday. I guess I thought it wouldn’t be bad because exposing the next generation of demons to humans would help Diavolo’s mission to strengthen relations between the realms. And I asked Simeon for stories so we could share Celestial Realm things too without getting Simeon in trouble or putting him in an uncomfortable position.”

Well that was definitely an eye opener for Lucifer. What you said made sense that changing minds starts with the youth. His original assumptions that you were just shirking responsibilities was way off base. He didn’t want to but admitted to himself he was wrong. Not only had you been doing something charitable but you were furthering Lord Diavolo’s message in a different way.

“You’re correct, you should have asked permission,” he started and you sank in your seat, “but I don’t see any harm in what you’re doing except for missing classes.” You sank further in your seat. “For skipping class, you’ll need to do extra studies,” he paused to make sure you knew this was a punishment, “I think a fitting topic would be interracial communication with a focus on the youth of Devildom.”

You perked up with a smile, “So I can keep going to the orphanage?”

Lucifer fought back a smile himself, trying to continue to be stern, “Yes, but that’s only if you don’t skip class and you have one of my brothers accompany you. As competent as Solomon is, he is also human and I would feel better if you had a demon escort.”

You were absolutely beaming now. “I’d like that but I don’t think you brothers would be interested.”

“They’ll do what they’re told but I think the twins would enjoy it the most,” Lucifer offered.

“Thanks! I would like if you could join us sometime too,” you suggested shyly.

He did smile at that, “If my schedule allows,” He didn’t finish before you were hugging him. He stiffened, not used to being hugged after doling out a punishment but softened and returned your hug, “I’ll make time to join you.”

[abyssalzones]

what books from your library would you recommend?

God where do I BEGIN with this one. That's a really good question... You'll have to bear with me if I get long-winded.

My current highest recommendation is definitely Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer.

This one comes high on a lot of people's lists so it's possible you've already read it but I'm going to sing its praises anyway. Annihilation is a fantastic sci-fi read and it's some of the best sci-fi I've ever read full stop. It's best to go into it with very little prior knowledge- but it's weird, and it's wild, and I love it dearly. This is the book I'd recommend to anyone who wanted a closer understanding of how I think. It feels very personally catered for me, and while that's not a great indicator of how you may enjoy it, I believe it's worth your time. (If you've seen the movie, read it anyway. I haven't watched it but it seems... vastly different. In a bad way. I don't like the decisions they made for the movie.)

Annihilation is the first in a trilogy, although I've only read the first two- and I'd very much recommend the second in the series (Authority) even though it takes a bit to pick up where the last one left off.

This next one might come a little more difficult to fully recommend without some forewarning, but I still think Piranesi by Susanna Clarke holds enough merit to make up for its shortcomings.

Piranesi is... difficult to describe. It's fantasy, but a grounded-in-reality kind of fantasy where your perception of what is happening is vitally important. Perspective is key, and that's what I think makes it such a fascinating read-- when you go back after the first time, there's a lot to notice. I think saying it has a dreamlike quality to it would be accurate.

The reason I'm cautious about recommending it is that I do not appreciate Susanna Clarke's thinly veiled homophobia when it comes to one of the antagonistic figures- a gay man who is often described as perverse or predatory. I don't believe the protagonist is meant to be read as straight either- for multiple reasons- but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Proceed with caution, armed with critical thinking skills.

My reasons for recommending The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams should be abundantly obvious. It's a hallmark of sci-fi, and a great read- especially if you love a good, endearing sci-fi narrative that doesn't take itself too seriously.

The host of characters is deeply endearing, the story is wild as hell, and the comedy actually lands. There isn't much else to say, really. I've had very little in the way of free time lately (that I don't spend working on personal projects) so I've only gotten through the first book and a half, but I can't imagine the rest of the series will seriously impact my opinion. Unless they're going to throw a major curveball at me, in which case: don't quote me.

I'm going to show my hand a little here, but I actually prefer the Welcome to Night Vale novel series to the podcast itself. Both are wonderful- the books just tap my brain a little better. You're welcome to read the novels in any order you please (I believe there are three at the moment) but I recommend starting from the beginning anyway. You do not have to have considerable knowledge of the podcast to enjoy Welcome to Night Vale by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor.

Everything you anticipate is probably accurate. It's weird, and moving, and a very special experience. I've also read It Devours! (Which was actually the first of the series I read) and it's just as incredible if not moreso.

I'm going to cut myself short because I could probably go on for a while like this but I do want to suggest a non-fiction book to break the trend. The Zoologist's Guide to the Galaxy by Dr. Arik Kershenbaum is a fantastic non-fiction read if you are at all interested in evolutionary science, zoology, and/or speculative anatomy. All of which are things I am very interested in.

Fun fact: this book has been a massive cornerstone for the development of my comic Escape Velocity! Maybe you'll see some of its influence later.

Other honorable mentions: The Dark Crystal movie novelization and novel series based on the netflix adaptation, The Martian by Andy Weir, Other Words for Smoke by Sarah Maria Griffin, ETC. I need to read more.

[makeste]

an index of Horikoshi Kouhei interviews

these are organized by date, oldest to newest, and I’m including a brief bullet-point summary of each to make it easier to look up specific interviews by content.

also, please note that although I haven’t spoiler tagged this post, the interviews from roughly 2019 onwards include some spoilers, so please watch out for those if you’re anime-only or otherwise not caught up with the manga. that said, the other interviews I think are all good.

putting this below a cut to keep things tidy.

interview with Horikoshi Kouhei and Kishimoto Masashi, May 2015

(note: this is not the actual interview word-for-word, but includes the highlights)

Horikoshi talks about being a fan of Naruto when he was growing up

Horikoshi says he was inspired by the way Kishimoto shows emotion through drawing hands, and that he loves drawing hands thanks to Naruto

Horikoshi mentions that Gaara is his favorite character and that he really liked the Chuunin Exam arc

Kishimoto praises BnHA and says he knew it would be a hit when he read the second chapter

they talk a bit about the worldbuilding and the process of creating a story where 80% of the population has superpowers

they discuss Naruto and Sasuke’s rivalry and Horikoshi mentions that he found it “frustrating” and that he really liked the Valley of the End and thought it would be the end of the series. he says it was very emotional

they talk a little about the stress of writing manga and about the toll it takes on mental health

pre-anime interview, April 2016

talks about his reaction when he found out BnHA was getting an anime

talks about how the series originally came about

says that BnHA is the story of Izuku and All Might and that their story is the “vertical axis” which runs through the main story

says there is also a “horizontal axis”, which is the side characters and quirks and all of the other elements that he considers to be the “fun part” of the story which mellows out the darker aspects of the vertical axis

mentions that he really likes drawing and writing Bakugou

mentions Deku vs Kacchan 1 as one of the early highlights in the series for him

talks about Ochako being someone who has a more cheerful relationship with Deku, which balances out some of the heavier aspects of Deku and Katsuki’s relationship (again, horizontal vs vertical axis)

mentions that if he could pick any quirk he’d pick a “no need for sleep” quirk

talks about reading Dragon Ball as a child

mentions that he really likes American comic book heroes, especially Spider-Man

mentions Goku and Spider-Man as the two that come to mind when he thinks about heroes and what it means to be a hero (specifically, that Goku is the “win” aspect and that he brings reassurance to everyone, while Spider-Man is the “save” aspect who helps other people)

talks about hearing Deku and Bakugou’s voices in the anime for the first time, as well as Ochako, Iida, and All Might’s voices

another pre-anime interview with konomanga.jp, April 2016

(note: this interview is in Japanese, but Google translate does a servicable job with it)

talks more about Spider-Man, including his favorite costumes and comic artists

gives some American comic book recs

mentions that he likes Godzilla and Gamera and always goes to see those movies

talks about his Star Wars influences

talks about his favorite manga as a child -- Dragon Ball, One Piece, and Naruto

talks about becoming a manga artist, and about some of his influences

says that he likes drawing monsters, creatures, and villains, and says that he really liked drawing the panel where Tomura made his first appearance at USJ

talks a little about composition and frame movement in his work, and about the challenges of drawing a weekly manga

mentions that he knows what the story ending will be, but hasn’t yet figured out how to connect the dots to that point

interview with Horikoshi Kouhei and Umakoshi Yoshihiko in BnHA: Ultra Archive, May 2016

(note: Umakoshi is the anime character designer for BnHA. also, this interview was part of the Ultra Archive character book, so you’ll have to scroll a bit through its other contents in order to get to the interview.)

they talk about the process of creating the BnHA anime and sketching out all of the character designs. Horikoshi says the anime character model sheets look just like how he draws them

they talk about Horikoshi’s obsession with drawing hands lol. Horikoshi mentions that the way Mike Mignola (the creator of Hellboy) draws hands was a big influence

they talk a lot about art and drawing in general

Horikoshi talks about Ochako’s character design a bit

they talk about the differences between drawing manga and doing animation

Umakoshi talks about his first impressions of BnHA

Horikoshi mentions that he still has a lot of ideas for characters and quirks that he hasn’t been able to implement yet

they talk about the different character designs and which ones they find easy, difficult, and fun to draw

they talk for a fair amount of time about Iida’s character design

Umakoshi talks a bit about other anime he’s worked on

they talk about the character of All Might, and Horikoshi ominously says that All Might’s future will be “a fairly sad affair”

interview with Natalie Comics, June 2018

talks about the 4th anniversary of BnHA, and the release of BnHA: Two Heroes

talks about the Basement internship arc and mentions that it was challenging for him to write

talks about the question “what is a hero?” and how he defines heroes

mentions Mina, Sero, and Shouji as characters he would like to/plans to feature in the future, and mentions that he already has a story planned featuring Shouji

talks about the popularity of the series

talks a little about Koike-san, his first editor

talks about Two Heroes and its development and story

talks about club activities at U.A., and which clubs Deku and Katsuki would be in

talks about his mom and about some of his childhood experiences which inspired scenes in the manga

talks about why he became a mangaka

talks about what percentage of the series is completed, mentions the original planned length was about 30 volumes but that it has obviously surpassed that

mentions that he has an idea of how the last arc will be planned out

interview with Horikoshi and Eiichiro Oda, August 2018

Horikoshi talks about being a fan of One Piece and mentions he even sent artwork to Oda which was included in one of Oda’s galleries

they talk more about OP and about favorite arcs and how it’s influenced Horikoshi’s work

Oda compliments Horikoshi’s art and they talk about cover artwork and coloring (Horikoshi mentions he uses Photoshop)

Horikoshi talks a bit about BnHA Two Heroes

Horikoshi again mentions that he originally thought BnHA would be about 30 volumes (Oda says he should shoot for 50 but Horikoshi laughs and says he’s not sure he can do ten years)

they talk about how fucking long OP is and how manga stories tend to expand once the story starts taking off

Interview with Anime News Network at SDCC, August 2018

talks about his love of American comics, especially Spider-Man, and says that American comics are a lot more mainstream in Japan nowadays thanks to all the superhero movies

talks about how he got started as a manga creator

talks about being inspired by Dragon Ball, and that All Might in particular was inspired by Goku

talks a bit about the process of creating characters

talks about Bakugou’s popularity and that it took him by surprise at first

mentions that he doesn’t have the stamina for BnHA to be a long series like One Piece

interview with Cinema Today Japan, December 2019

(update: here is the link to @hanashimas​‘ translation which is more accurate)

talks about Deku and Bakugou’s characters and their attributes

mentions that at the start of the story Bakugou thinks Deku is above him, so he tries to act intimidating and superior to overtake him

(ETA: apparently this is a mistranslation; he actually says that he intended for Bakugou to be a character who was “above” Deku so to speak, who Deku would eventually surpass. he then goes on to talk about his realization that Bakugou could actually have a much more interesting character arc, which of course we have since seen play out.)

mentions that he planned to have Bakugou and Deku improve on two separate vectors as they entered U.A.

mentions Deku vs Kacchan 1 as a turning point where he had some realizations about Bakugou’s character that humanized him for him

mentions that he always knew Bakugou wouldn’t turn evil and “would never lose to the darkness”

says the scene where Katsuki takes Kirishima’s hand at Kamino was bittersweet because it showed Bakugou’s growth, but also showed the ongoing gulf between him and Deku because Deku knew that Katsuki wouldn’t take his hand

mentions that Bakugou still needs to apologize to Deku

says that Kirishima, Kaminari, and Mina are among the easiest characters for him to draw because they take the initiative and get the other characters excited and help pull the story forward

mentions that he always hears Nobu’s voice in his head now when writing Bakugou

talks about the characters being high school kids still, and that when he expanded on their families he was conscious of that -- “I wanted to show that these protagonists are still children after all”

interview in Volume R (booklet that was released along with Heroes Rising), December 2019

talks again about his manga influences and what inspired him to become a mangaka

talks about the experience of getting his first manga published

talks about what inspired him to write BnHA

has an interesting quote where he talks about the vaguely desperate feeling of “trying one last time”, which was weighing on his mind when he created BnHA, and which also played into Deku’s motivations in the first chapter

mentions All Might as being a character that he’s attached to

talks about his reactions to the anime, the overseas popularity, and the first movie

talks about his heavy involvement in the production of Heroes Rising

talks about designing and creating the bad guys for Heroes Rising

talks about the creation and character design of Hawks and mentions that the original character design was going to have a bird head lol

mentions that Hawks will have a relatively big influence on the story in the future

talks about how the ending of Heroes Rising was his original planned ending for the series

talks about Bakugou’s character development which leads up to that moment

talks about the conclusion of the series, and that all of the characters will come together in the end

interview with all of the past editors of the BnHA manga, March 2021

(note: this is another interview that’s not translated word for word, but summarized. also this interview was with just the editors, not Horikoshi himself.)

they talk about the early reception to the manga, and Horikoshi’s reactions

they talk about the individual moments early on when they realized that the series would be “amazing”

Yoritomi mentions that Horikoshi came up with the designs for most of the Billboard Top 10 pro heroes at the last minute lol

including Hawks (all Horikoshi had decided on prior was that he was going to be “cool” and would be a spy)

everyone praises Horikoshi’s character designs in general

they talk about the start of the anime and that whole process

they mention that Horikoshi cried watching both of the movies

they talk about the overseas popularity of the series

each editor lists their favorite episode of the anime

they talk about Horikoshi sacrificing his original manga ending to be used in Heroes Rising

they talk about that one ending theme song in season 4 that showed the pro heroes’ childhoods, and that Horikoshi had the anime team change Hawks’s to match the backstory he had planned

they talk about the upcoming season 5 and send final messages to the fans

interview in the MHA Drawing Smash Exhibition Pamphlet, April 2021

Horikoshi talks about the art in the exhibition and about the process of creating the artwork

he mentions that the piece with Deku rescuing a falling Ochako took the longest to draw

he says the drawing of All Might was the most fun to draw for him

that’s pretty much it, this one is very short lol

interview in Jump GIGA Spring 2021, April 2021

talks about which characters will play an important role in the final act. specifically mentions Hawks, Ochako, Shouji, Shinsou, Monoma, and Sero

“many characters’ actions will converge into a single one, so maybe the best way to say it would be ‘keep an eye on all of them!’“

says that for Hawks’s flashbacks and the Todoroki family’s past, he was influenced by Sion Sono’s works

mentions that the drawing of Deku and Ochako from the MHA Drawing Smash exhibit isn’t directly related to the main story, but that while drawing it he kept in mind how their relationship would develop if he explored it deeper

says he had the final act (or at least the chapter 306 reveal part of it) vaguely planned for a long time, but started to think about the specifics in volume 21 during the Endeavor vs High-End fight

says he’s already decided on the ending, and that “the path to it has been longer than I initially expected, but the main elements that I’ve decided before starting the series are still the same”

Q&A trivia from Vol. W World Heroes’ Mission, August 2021

(and alternate translation by aitaikimochi)

talks about All Might not having many friends among the pro heroes (but says he’s become “slightly attached” to Aizawa since he started teaching at U.A.)

describes what Bakugou, Tsuyu, and Mineta’s rooms look like

talks about Jirou and Momo’s relationship and the kind of things they like to talk about when they hang out together

says that Shouji’s face will eventually be revealed, and that he is “not sure” about Hagakure’s :’)

talks about the types of YouTube videos Shouto watches (pretty insightful answer which is equal parts sweet and sad)

says that Midnight’s classes were the most popular among the students

says U.A.’s robots once rebelled against their creators (lol wtf)

says his three favorite movies are Akira, The Ring, and Spider-Man: Far From Home. he says Akira in particular is his bible

and that’s it for now, but I will update this post with future interviews as they are posted, and if anyone has links to an interview I’ve missed please let me know.

[thevictorianghost]

You said in your finnrey/zutara post that studio meddling was involved for both. I knew that this was the case for finnrey because of racist cowards. But I never knew that was the case for zutara? Tbh I just assumed from the get-go that aang and katara were the main ship and I thought it was cute for them to end up together in the end. Though it is really interesting to learn that zuko and katara could’ve also been a serious thing and I think they could also work together rather nicely. What happened behind the scenes that caused it not to happen? Was aang originally gonna be set up with toph or have no love interest?

Oh hello! Hi! My first anon. Welcome :)

Before we start: I’m going to write Kat/aang, A/ang and Bry/ke like that so it doesn’t appear in the tags and I’ll bold some sections for emphasis. 

I don’t think the writers even considered Toph as a love interest for A/ang. It was always about Kat/aang vs Zutara.

It’s no secret at this point that Dante Basco and Mae Whitman, who voiced Zuko and Katara respectively, ship Zutara. Dante Basco is known as the “captain of the Zutara ship”. They’ve written multiple times about Zutara on Twitter and Dante Basco said in an interview that he really thought, at one point, that Zuko and Katara were going to end up together, that he thought it was going that way, and that he loved the idea of fire and water together.

As for the writers, it’s a bit more difficult to find information, since the show ended 15 years ago. But Aaron Ehasz, head writer of ATLA, has come out and said there was supposed to be a fourth season and it was dropped in favor of the movie. He said it on Twitter on April 1rst, 2019 (while also saying sorry for picking that date, it wasn’t an April Fools!). He said that M Night Shyamalan wanted them to focus on Book 4, but Bry/ke (Bryan Konietsko and Mike DiMartino) “wanted to focus on the movie”. You can find those tweets here. Not about Zutara per se, but it does show not everyone was on board with how the show was going to end behind the scenes.

Speaking of the movie, when asked about The Last Airbender, M Night Shyamalan also gave his input on the situation. He talked about how, by the time Book 3 came around, he wasn’t sure if the series was supposed to end there or if there was going to be a Book 4. He said to Bry/ke: ““Dudes, I gotta know this. This is critical! This has to end. This has to end. If it doesn’t end, I’m not on board. But if you don’t want to end it - it’s all good.”  They were like “no, we saw it as three seasons for each element that he has to learn.”  And I said “great.”” This is where it gets interesting, though: “At that time they hadn’t even decided where things were going to end, even like who Katara was going to end up with. All of that stuff hadn’t been figured out yet.” 

It’s interesting to me how he mentions this is who Katara will end up with. Not A/ang, not Zuko. It’s always about Katara.

 Someone who interned on ATLA has been quoted as saying that “If you check out the I.P. Bible then you’ll see a Kat/aang endgame was never planned from the start, it was supposed to remain a one-sided crush throughout the whole show.“ and that “The actual decision to make them a couple came about much later at Bry/ke’s request, largely because they were frustrated at the popularity of Zutara.“ Of course, not everyone in the production was full on one side or the other, as the post says some were neutral about it. “Some of the crew liked Kat/aang, I know Joaquim [Dos Santos] was a big Kat/aang supporter but more of them were neutral about it, Ehasz was not fond of Kat/aang but he didn’t mind too much since he’s a mature adult and all that.”

Avatar Extras (special events on Nicktoons where episodes of ATLA were shown with fun facts) were released where it was said that Zuko was supposed to be Katara’s love interest. It was said two times at least. I’ve only ever found screencaps of these, but I found these here on Tumblr. 

When asked about these in the Avatar Extras, Bry/ke said that it was just a joke and that Kat/aang was always in the DNA of the show. But if you’re here to tell fun facts to your audience about your show, maybe put a disclaimer that says some things might not be as truthful as they think they will be?

And the intern mentioned earlier also said that “No one was having full-on ship wars in the writer’s room but we did joke about it, and we toyed with the idea of Zuko and Katara falling in love a couple of times.“ So that goes well with the Avatar Extras.

Meanwhile, other writers, like John O’Bryan, have been quoted talking against Zutara in favor of Kat/aang. EDIT: Thank you to @exhaustedhope for giving me a source for this quote! This link also has a few images for the quote, so I’ll add them here.

Thank you again! And also the use of Zutara fanart to badmouth the ship in favor of Kat/aang? Dude.

If this was the way people behind the scenes were thinking of Katara and A/ang’s and Katara and Zuko’s relationships... well that doesn’t really make me think “Kat/aang was in the DNA of the show” either, huh? Zuko was never officially her love interest, Katara never actually “went after that guy”. But the thought that she might made them uneasy. 

(Btw, let’s not forget Zuko actually does care about Katara, enough to put his life on the line for her in Book 3, so that mischaracterizes Zuko.) 

This comment by John O’Bryan fits with this vision of Zutara Bry/ke has, where Zuko is nothing but a broody, emo “bad boy” who doesn’t care about Katara at all. It’s shown pretty well in their dreadful “joke” made at Comic Con in 2007. You can find the video here. Here, Katara ends up with A/ang and “should have never doubted the will of Mike and Bryan!” (yuck). So Kat/aang was always the “right” way for them to end the show, right?

But then! Even Bry/ke themselves have said that Kat/aang was forced. They said it in 2014 when Korrasami became canon in Legend of Korra. On Korrasami and Kat/aang, they said this: “Originally, [Korrasami] was primarily intended to be a strong friendship. Frankly, we wanted to set most of the romance business aside for the last two seasons. Personally, at that point I didn’t want Korra to have to end up with someone at the end of series. We obviously did it in Avatar, but even that felt a bit forced to me.“

So they admitted that Kat/aang was forced. They even mention the ATLA ship wars in the post. “Either direction we went [about Korrasami or Makorra], there would inevitably be a faction that was elated and another that was devastated. Trust me, I remember Kat/aang vs. Zutara. But one of those directions is going to be the one that feels right to us, and Mike and I have always made both Avatar and Korra for us, first and foremost.”

Okay. So what’s real about the behind the scenes of ATLA and what isn’t? Was Kat/aang in the DNA of the show, or did they go back and forth between Kat/aang and Zutara like they did with Korrasami and Makorra? 

There have been conflicting informations scattered across the Internet over the years. Some people say one thing and others react, saying the opposite and that the first thing was false. Some people lied, or joked, to mess with the audience and toy with Zutara - or not, or maybe, or perhaps... What I think, though, is that not everything was set in stone. Some people were for Zutara and some people were for Kat/aang. And even after all of that, the big takeaway for me was: the end result that Bryke wanted so badly was lackluster in and of itself.

[downtonabbeyrevisited]

Season Two Episode Three

Conversion of the Abbey into a convalescent home for Officers is underway, ushering in a territorial battle that at times makes what is going on on the other side of the channel look like a mere scuffle. With the chain of command yet to be set, the floor is open for some of the best Isobel v. Cora v. Violet action that Downton has to offer. However, Isobel’s hostile takeover is slowed by a combination of O’Brien’s Machiavellian urges and Robert’s love of hierarchy. O’Brien tees up Thomas to take charge of Downton and coaxes him into the fray as he leans on an archway smoking his way into a wide variety of lung problems in later life. In an almost implausible about face (the key word for King Julian here is almost), Robert, Major Clarkson and Carson agree that Corpral Barrow is now trustworthy(ish), should be bumped up to the rank of Acting Sargent and be allowed to use the front door (although Carson remains unsure about the last bit). With Thomas in place and Major Clarkson at the hospital, Robert is on the hunt for another “tier” having looked at this microcosm of society and decided that there was not enough division. Evelyn Napier’s request to stay at Downton prompts Major Clarkson to enact border controls that would make Priti Patel look on in envy and neatly demonstrates the bind in which the Crawleys now find themselves. It is perhaps fitting, if predicable, that by the end of the episode Isobel and Cora are to share responsibility for Downton in what will remain the worst coalition of all time until 2015 when Cadbury will get together with Vegemite. Look it up. Trust me, it was rank. 

Having an equally tense episode is Lavina who, fresh from behind manhandled behind the laurels, is now under Rosamund’s microscope with Violet declaring her to be an object to be removed which is a bit harsh even for her. It is rumoured that Lavinia stole secrets from her Uncle for Richard Carlisle to publish as part of his uncovering of the Marconi Scandal, a historical event whose name is said loudly and clearly at least three times so that we can all Google it in the ad-break. Sensing a potential weakness, the Crawley women (who I am resisting the urge to call Robert’s Angels) dig deeper as Mary hunts out Lavinia to give her the third degree. Lavinia admits that she did start the uncovering of the scandal but not in the pursuit of a transparent and accountable government. Instead it was to save her father from financial ruin. And all of her sudden, in exposing corruption and hypocrisy just to save her own skin she has gone from being a Department of Health and Social Care security guard to Dominic Cummings. 

Violet’s concerns about the potential carnage that mixing ranks could let loose are not unfounded as Major Bryant confuses the Abbey with the Villa and Ethel takes one look at him and thinks “He’s a little bit of me”. Sadly/fortunately Ethel’s tucking in of Major Bryant’s blankets is halted by Mrs Hughes before Laura Whitmore can ask everyone to gather around the fire pit. 

Apparently more romantically reticent than Bryant is Bates, who has taken to hiding behind a tree in the Village on Wednesdays just to catch a glimpse of Anna, demonstrating a behaviour pattern that does not throw up any red flags at all. Richard Carlises’ network of spies find him in a pub in Kirkbymoorside which Anna describes as “odd” despite the fact that of all the things he has done (or is about to do) in this episode, let alone the Downton Abbey canon as a whole, this is definitely the most sensible decision he has made. It means he does not have to navigate the staircases that formed a fair amount of his plot in the previous season for a start. Rather than leave him be, Anna takes an alarmingly shiny bus to an almost forensically clean pub where she orders what turns out to be a very horrific looking glass of cider from an eternally conflicted Bates. Bates tells Anna his plan to divorce Vera and declares that he does not care about gender discrimination in the law. In return Anna shows off her attempt at using this week’s bit of new technology, the curling iron. Asked for his opinion, Bates replies that he would love Anna “however, whatever, wherever”, cleverly avoiding the question in a way that simultaneously shows the depth of his amour but also indicates that he thinks it’s hideous. 

Edith finds herself lacking purpose and direction like most people in their mid-twenties. Sybil, the annoying over-achieving younger sibling, tells her to work out what she is good at which turns out to be being a scribe, and getting books and carcinogenic substances for Officers. Edith’s quiet industry enables her to gain a good working knowledge of all the key protagonists on General Strutt’s tour which earns her a toast at Lunch. For Edith, this is the equivalent of getting an M.B.E. 

Another character looking to take advantage of General Strutt’s sojourn is Branson whose plans to be a conscientious objector are scuppered by a heart murmur. His flair for the dramatic takes him to the courtyard of deceit (a location looking to form an alliance with the tree of emotional conflict and the platform of romantic uncertainty) where he polishes headlamps and gathers intel about the impending visit. The lack of footmen leaves an opening for Branson to cause if not the downfall, certainly the minor humiliation, of the British Army. A cryptic “forgive me” note prompts some some Blair Witch style camera work to underline the sense of urgency as Anna pelts it downstairs. The costume department breathe a sigh of relief as Branson manhandled out of the dining room before he can upend a rather creative concoction which invites the question, how did he get so much ink? 

As William shows off his uniform, Daisy, coached by Mrs Patmore, continues to lead him up the garden path. William admits he is nervous about the prospect of facing the brutal reality of World War One and Mrs Patmore gently weeps across the table bringing her episode:crying ratio up pretty high even for something on a Sunday evening on ITV. Luckily, there is an opening for William to become Matthew’s solider servant which is good news for William and the budget as the exact same section of trench can continue to be used for both characters. Before he leaves, William proposes to Daisy and, naturally, Mrs Patmore accepts. Daisy’s “go on then” is hardly the most ringing of endorsements and her face resembling that of a rabbit who has taken a wrong turn and finds themselves on the fringes of the M4 cannot be reasonably described as elated. Daisy does manage to gather herself to delay the now inevitable wedding and so becomes possibly the only person in Britain who was not hoping for it to be all over by Christmas. 

Lang and his ever present mournful violin accompaniment continue to have a rough time of it. He repays Mrs Patmore’s kindness by outing Archie to the rest of the servants, causing her to leave the room in abject misery. But this reaction could also have been caused by the prospect of a mistimed crumble. It’s difficult to tell. Lang’s nightmare enables the women to bust through the hitherto impenetrable divide between the male and female staff quarters and it is clear that his days at Downton are numbered. Lang collapses as the General and his entourage retreat and his use as a plot device in this very much smoothed over view of the past is at its end. He is dismissed with a decent wage package and a good reference and is never to be spoken of again. 

Romantic declaration of the moment 

William and Daisy do not get this one as this is a coercion free zone. Instead Mary and Matthew get it. Matthew being back at Downton gives Mary the chance to stare at him longingly across a room but it is her decision not to rat out Lavinia as a reluctant whistleblower that earns their spot here. Only an almost unfathomable amount of love would make Mary place Matthew’s happiness above her own. 

Expressive eyebrow of the week 

Regular winner Carson claims the prize again this week. His blind fury at Branson’s then presumed to be assassination attempt is glorious. 

Wait, what? 

“Marmaduke was not a rough diamond” No-one called Marmaduke can be called rough anything. Sort of reminds me of a picture my brother showed me of his then partner’s friends when they were younger spelling out the name of their public school boarding house in gangster sign language. Zero self-awareness. 

“Acting Sargent I believe” Aloe standing by. 

“The bastard had it coming” I think I need to revise my previous curse word estimate. 

No particular quote for this bit but Branson delivering news from Russia made him seem like a man who had read the headline and maybe the first paragraph (at a push) of an article and is now holding forth on the topic, ready to take on anyone with a P.h.D in the matter. I do like Branson but increasingly it’s when he shuts up. 

The least believable bit of this whole episode was Isis being completely unbothered by an incoming pingpong ball. I once stayed in a friend’s house where an absolute catastrophe was disguising itself as a dog. She would eye up the limes on the sideboard expecting them to vault across the room. When any even vaguely spherical object did achieve airspeed velocity, she would lose it. And I mean lose it. 

General Strutt’s tour of Downton has an air of a politician doing a ward round. Should you yourself fear an encounter with our current premiere, you can pick up one of these cards from the News From Nowhere bookshop in Liverpool (other retailers may be available but this is the only place I have seen them). 

[reggies-eyeliner]

𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐏𝐒 (CLOSED)!

OPEN 2/26-2/24<3!! (5 SLOTS LEFT! [2/19/23])

I have not done matchups in ages but THEN I WATCHED Lockwood & Co?? I had this whole epiphany like. WRITING THESE WERE SO FUN HELLO?? matchups will be open from 2/16-2/24! please read through all of the rules :D If a submission doesn't fill out all the requirements, I am more likely to push it off until later, so please make sure to read it carefully! I SWEAR IM NOT GONNA MAKE IT TOO COMPLICATED OKOK LETS DO THIS VAMANOS&lt;333!

(AND YES PLATONIC MATCH UPS ARE OPEN FOR MY AROSPEC/QPR/PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP LOVING BABES GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW)

THIS IS LIKE A BUFFET. PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT BABES MWAHAHAHA

FANDOMS (up to two*):

across the spider-verse*

most animated movies (httyd, bh6, rotg^^)

lockwood & co*

stranger things

julie and the phantoms

avatar: the last airbender

the legend of korra

rottmnt**

voltron: legendary defenders

haikyuu

* i've only watched the series so far + i'm about to start the comics/books (and very excited to omg) !! just an fyi that my pairings will most likely revolve more around the characters featured in the series IM SORRY I SWEAR I'LL GET TO THE BOOKS/COMICS ASAP

**exclusively platonic matchups preferred/qpr!

TYPES OF MATCHUPS:

the classic: submit in matchup information + get paired with (a) romantic partner(s)! in return for the matchup information, you will receive: a 1x3 moodboard, one song + a hefty list of headcanons + a mix-and-match randomized trope explanation! (ex: a blurb about sharing a bed, first time meeting, fake dating confession scene ; ~100 words!)

the Fave Homie(s)™: platonic matchups (my personal fave MWAHAHA)! you'll get paired with as many characters as you'd like<3!! in return for matchup information, you will receive: a 1x3 moodboard, one song + a hefty list of headcanons + incorrect quotes describing your dynamic between you and your found family/best bro<3

customized schedule: submit what your schedule looks like throughout any day of the week (up to two) + matchup information (platonic or romantic), you will receive: an hourly schedule on what life is like with said character i match you with + the aspects of your life with them! (ex: 8am, wake up by their side + they make you coffee blah blah blah), + a song for each moment of the day to describe your dynamic :D

MATCHUP INFORMATION:

name + preferred gender(s) to be paired with

preferred fandom (up to two are okay, but please let me know which one you'd like me to focus on more!)

platonic and/or romantic + polycule preference etc + preferred age group!!

you can include your sexuality if you'd like to (only if you want me to touch on the aspect on how your matchup will support you because. yeah<3)

giving + receiving love languages

hobbies, talents, things that make you you (think: if this wasn't in my life, how different would i be?)

mbti/zodiac (optional)

personality, how you handle difficult situations

what consist of a good memory for you

favorite songs + music taste/colors/any kind of aesthetics!!

anything that brings you comfort/anything that doesn't give you comfort (can be about a relationship or just in life :-D)

OTHER RULES?

preferably off anon! i'd love to talk to you more after the matchup submission as well MWAHHAHA<333 if you're planning on being anon, an emoji anon would be p cool so we can chat more!

as i'm also a busy student, i will prioritize school-- if you submit a matchup, please be prepared to have up to anywhere from a 1-14 day wait! i'll send you a message that i got your ask hehe

you should totally use a pick up line in my ask box i enjoy pick up lines so much.

OTHER THAN THAT MAN write as much/little as you'd like!

[ofhoneyandrosepetals]

On the Edge of a Ramp

Pairing: Sean x Fem! reader

Description: Sean is beaten on the skatepark by this new girl in town and, when he sees himself paired up with her for a school paper, they quickly grow to each other between sharp responses and pettiness.

Warning: swearings.

Word count: 3,426

A/N: This is such a vanilla enemies to lovers 😅🙈 I just can’t see Sean as someone who would hold a grudge against someone so intensely or even for so long. Have fun!

Requested by anonymous: can you make a sean diaz x reader enemies to lovers?

It wasn’t that Sean hated Y/N, or even disliked her. He just… wasn’t amused by her. Of course he had a reason for it, even if it wasn’t the most justified one: she was his rival at the skatepark. He always thought it was a childish, foolish reason to not like her, but it was what it was, and that fact that he didn’t want to feel that way wasn’t strong enough.

Lyla would always, but always bug him about it, to a whole new level that he thought it wasn’t possible for Lyla to be more annoying than his little brother Daniel.

The first day that she went to the skatepark, Lyla went back home with him.

“How was the skatepark?” Asked both Daniel and Sean’s father, Esteban. Unfortunately, Sean wasn’t fast enough on the answer.

“Sean’s got a new girlfriend,” Lyla teased as she rushed Daniel’s hair.

“What?!” Daniel screamed, but Esteban had only a small smile on his face.

“You?” He asked. “A new girlfriend?” If Sean doesn’t knew his father he’d say the old man was sounding a little ironic.

“No way this butthead got a girlfriend!” Daniel exclaimed.

“Daniel. Language,” it was all Esteban said to the little Diaz, who mumbled an excuse that he didn’t really mean.

“Lyla’s just messing around, this girl actually sucks,” Sean threw his backpack and skateboard on the corner and went to sit heavily on the couch, sighing. He missed the look that both Lyla and Esteban exchanged.

“Care to join us for dinner, Lyla?” Esteban asked.

“What’s on the menu?”

“Tonight is pizza night,” Sean said from the couch.

“Then I’ll stay,” the girl stated, sitting next to Sean. “How’s your knee?” She asked in a low tone.

“It’s fine, it was just a scratch. It didn’t even bleed.”

“That girl kicked the hell out of your butt.”

“Thanks for the reminder, it wasn’t like I already forgot that.”

“So…”

“So what?” Sean never got angry at Lyla before, but she was testing his nerves.

“Whatcha gonna do about it?”

“I planned on just sit on the couch and eat some pizza.”

“No payback?”

“No payback.”

But of course this wasn’t true. Sean did want some payback, he just had no idea of what it could be. 

*

Apparently, everyone at school knew about what happened the previous day at the skatepark. “How come is everyone gossiping about it? It’s not even a big deal,” Sean complained between teeth.

“Well, it wasn’t a big deal to you,” Lyla said, air quoting. “But to everyone, this sounds like the new girl, who no one knows a thing about, just kicked your ass.”

Sean clicked his tongue in annoyance. “High school sucks, dude.”

“Do you know what really sucks?” Lyla asked. She had that glimmer in her eyes that Sean knew pretty well, but he’d always fall for the bait.

“What?”

“Having a whining bestie. See ya!” Lyla took off as the ringbell shouted.

“Saved by the bell…” Sean muttered to himself as he opened his locker and got his book for the right class.

*

Sean sneaked away at the end of school so he wouldn’t bump into Lyla or any of his peers - it was a difficult task, to sneak away from Lyla, but Sean assumed that she was too busy being all over the new girl, just like everyone else was.

He knew Lyla thought she was cool, even if she insisted on saying the opposite: “I think you’re cooler.” Yeah, right, the boy thought to himself.

Sean intended on practicing in the garage, since his father wasn’t working on anything in there and Daniel was going to his friend’s house to play some new game. He wasn’t going to give up just because some new girl basically shamed him at the park, and he still wasn’t sure what to do to give her a comeback, but one thing he was certain: he had to get better with his board.

He was easily defeated on what they bet, and sure enough that girl would defeat anyone from his school, but a boy could hope, right?

*

One week had passed smoothly by. Sean kept training away from curious eyes; Lyla and the rest of the school seemed to forget about his loss - except Daniel, who kept bugging him about who the girl was -, and the school was still all over the new girl. Sean didn’t bother to remember her name, until the unexpected happened.

“Diaz, you’ll pair up with the new student, Y/L/N.”

Sean thought that being hit by his worst nightmare would make him scream but, instead, he only melted on his chair, slowly sliding down and hitting his forehead on his desk, completely defeated like a pancake that went wrong.

“C’mon, don’t make a scene out of it,” he heard a girl say in front of him. Once he straightened himself, he saw it was Y/N. He would make Lyla pay for not making this class with him. “The teacher’s taking us to the library,” she said, looking as she expected him to get up as it was some sort of command.

As a defiance, Sean looked her straight in the eyes and counted until sixty. Just to be petty. He noticed she didn’t look away.

“Okay. Let’s go,” he said after a full minute, grabbing his backpack and his book. Sean was never one for being challenging - he was actually pretty chill -, so this act of him took all of his courage and now he felt trembling on his legs. He was so sure that, if he continued to act like that, she’d probably ended up hating him.

Good, he found himself thinking. I don’t need her to like me.

“I like the end tables,” she said after you two entered the library.

“Whatever,” Sean answered, even though he sat at the table that she picked. What a great way to show some dominance, Diaz, he complained to himself, opening his book on what he thought was the right page and, fist on his cheek, started reading.

Or at least he tried to.

Sean couldn’t focus on the fact that he was paired up with her in this school paper, of all people. He couldn’t stop wondering if people were going to gossip all over again.

“I wanted to say that your book is upside down, it’d be funnier, but it’s only on the wrong page. Actually, on the wrong topic,” she said, sounding like a know it all. Sean felt his cheeks heating up and looked for the right topic, peeking at her book. After a few tries, he found it.

“On the wrong topic,” he mocked her and her coast accent.

“I can hear you, you know?”

“I was hoping so.”

“You really do sound like a loser.”

And that was it for Sean. He closed his book, shutting it with more strength than necessary, took his things and stormed out of the library. “Who does she think she is?” He complained out loud in the empty corridors. As he went to his locker, he thanked the whole universe that he brought his skateboard to school today. It was easy to sneak out, even though it wasn’t his last class of the day.

Sean let his skateboard guide him, but of course he ended up being in nowhere less than the skatepark. He trained and trained; sliding, carving, flipping, anything easy that he could improve to be faster, more agile.

But it wasn’t enough, not until he knew the same tricks as Y/N did, or even more, and way better.

But why was he dwelling on such things? Just because he lost a stupid bet? To an unknown person? Of course that now she wasn’t that unknown anymore, but still, it shouldn’t matter. It would matter and really hurt his ego if she was a better artist than him, which would make him be legitimately disappointed with himself.

It actually bugged him a little that he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

“I knew you’d be here,” Lyla said behind him. “But I thought you’d be, you know, doodling and stuff,” she threw her arm around his shoulder, squeezing it. “Let it go, man. No one even remembers what happened anymore.”

Sean pouted, looking sideways.

“No pouting at your best friend - only drawing me! C’mon, draw me like one of your french girls.”

Lyla took her own skateboard and, flipping, started skating around the park. Sean sat on his board and started doodling Lyla as she tried to noseslide. More people filled the park, but Sean kept his eyes on his best friend, not losing sight of her. He doodled Lyla on various positions now - be sliding, flipping or failing to grind. He even got the luck to draw her falling.

“Not your best work, Diaz!” She shouted as she realized what he was drawing.

Spending time with Lyla did really lift up his mood, and he hugged her as they parted ways.

Opening the front door of his house, Sean already knew what was coming his way. His father wasn’t looking so amicable.

“You got anything to say, mijo?” Esteban had his arms crossed in front of his chest and a serious look on his face.

Sean only sighed. “No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left school, but I was just…”

“What? What were you just that made you leave school when you shouldn’t?”

“I was angry, okay?” Sean dropped his backpack and skateboard, crossing his arms too. “Y/N just pissed the shit out of me…”

“Language, boy.”

“And I can’t stand her, okay? She said that I sound like a loser, which I probably do, but who is she to say these things? It fucking sucks that I have to do this damn paper with her…”

“Tone it down, Sean,” his father warned.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I just don’t like her. I don’t want to do this paper with her. She thinks she’s so… much better than me, I don’t know, just because she won the bet at the park.”

“Weren’t those things supposed to be fun? Bet at the skatepark, do some tricks with that thing that you carry around,” Esteban gestured to the skateboard. “It’s all part of the fun, mijo. Don’t be a sore loser.”

“I’m not a sore loser. It was shameful to lose for a girl that no one knew, and next thing I knew she’s this new student, and everyone kept talking about it more. And she was standing there, receiving all the glory for just a stupid bet. Like if she was the queen of the world.”

Esteban patted Sean on the back and hugged his son.

“You know what you’re going to do? You’re gonna forget all about that, finish this paper with this girl, and move on. The Diaz don’t hold a grudge against anyone. Just sound like you don’t care and you’ll be fine, mijo.”

“I’ll try,” Sean sighed. “She’s terrible, y’know?”

“You already told me, I know,” Esteban smiled, a smile that Sean still couldn’t quite tell what it meant. “Go to your room and do your homework. And do not, in any circumstances, repeat what happened today.”

*

Sean didn’t want to speak with Y/N, but someone had to take the first step so they could finish their paper.

But of course that, as always, he got behind of himself and Y/N was the one to take the first step.

“What you think of trying to finish the paper after school? At the library?” She was standing in front of his locker. Was she waiting there for him? And if so, for how long?

“Excuse me,” he only said, in front of her.

“The paper, Diaz. Did you already forget?”

“I meant the locker, you’re blocking the way,” Sean tried to sound neutral, but he was a bit sharp.

“Oh.”

He noticed that she sounded ashamed, but she stepped aside. He opened his locker, grabbed his books and, without looking at her, he said: “Sure, library after class. See ya there,” and left.

Once again Sean felt trembling on his legs, like if that attitude consumed everything that made him who he was and contradicted it. He had to sound like he didn’t care, but was that the right attitude? How could he be chill and careless at the same time? You got this, Diaz, he kept thinking to himself. Soon enough she won’t be able to get you on your nerves anymore.

*

Y/N was sitting in front of him, and he dared to say that she simply looked… weird. Like if she was holding a fart that she knew she couldn’t release, like Daniel did in the dinner table.

“Are you okay?” Sean asked, and immediately regretted. He didn’t care if she was okay or not, or at least he wanted to look like he didn’t care.

“I’m fine,” she answered way too quickly.

Sean wanted to say that she looked all things but fine. Instead, he found himself doing the unpredictable.

“Your book’s on the wrong topic,” he said as he looked down at his own book, just peeking at her at the top of his eyelids.

He saw her expression turning alarmed as she looked down at her book, then she looked confused, brows furrowing.

“Gotcha,” Sean said with a smirk before she could say or protest anything.

“Touché,” she said, looking rather shy, which was an unexpected trait for her. “I guess I deserved that.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“We’re even?”

Sean didn’t respond, not because he wanted to be petty - again -, but only because he didn’t know the answer. Were they even? He did want to forget all of that stupid rivalry, but he didn’t feel like they’d turn out to be good friends. She was too sassy, too loud, too…

Sean looked away as a stripe of sunlight came through the window, enlightening a lock of her hair.

“I guess this is a no.”

Was the hint of disappointment that crossed her words? Sean couldn’t say. Minutes have passed in silence before any of them said anything.

“Have you done your part?” Sean asked in a careful tone.

“Not yet,” she murmured. 

“Lemme know when you finish,” Sean said and pulled his sketchbook from his backpack.

He started doodling carelessly, being wrapped up in his own bubble when he started working on his sketchbook. Everything around him turned off - he couldn’t hear what people spoke, only a sound here and there, if he wanted to really pay some attention. It was just him and his journal, his go-to pal.

“You’re really good at this.”

The sudden voice startled Sean, making his hand go all the way through the page, making an ugly scribble. “Damnit,” he cursed, to no one in particular.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Y/N said. “You’re gonna hate me more now, won’t you?”

“What?” Sean blinked, processing her words. “Hate you? I don’t hate you,” he tried to erase the scribble without erasing much of the drawing itself.

“I thought you did, because, you know… I was such a show off at the park the other day, and because of what I said yesterday. Now I fucked up your drawing. I just don’t know when to shut the fuck up.”

“You really don’t,” Sean said, alien to his surroundings and to Y/N herself. It came to him that he probably hurt her with his comment, and even though she did hurt him yesterday, he didn’t want to hurt her back. His father wouldn’t approve of this. “But it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing…” he stuttered on his own words.

“I see what you’re doing, there’s no need. Thanks anyway.”

“It just sucks, you know?” Sean spat, not caring for the fact that he told himself he would never bring that subject up. “Being picked up at school because of some random person at the skatepark. And then you were here, being all show off, and people started making fun, just because I lost at something that I know I’m not really good at. I’m not serious about skateboarding. I just wanna hangout with my friends and have some fun. You also didn’t help at all to keep the situation light.”

Sean’s face was buried in his sketchbook as he brushed up some lines. He realized the wolf in his drawing wore the same shorts that Y/N did when she was skating. He erased them and drew something new.

“I’m sorry,” he heard her saying. “I wanted to say that the whole day, but it’s not an easy thing for me.”

“Apologizing?”

She only nodded.

“Okay, but under only one condition,” Sean said, still not looking at her.

“Whatever you want,” she seemed eager. Sean bit his lips before saying.

“You gotta teach me that trick. That’s really awesome, and I can’t pull it off by myself.”

She smiled, and Sean would never, in a thousand years, imagine that such a smile would get him strucked. The sunlight in her hair was long gone, but she still looked bright.

“Diaz, you have the honor to be my first pupil,” she said, all smiles and brightness. Something in his stomach twisted.

*

It was the middle of the week, so the skatepark wasn’t packed with people going back and forth on their boards, which was a good thing for Sean, he supposed - he’d hate it if any of his peers saw him learning anything like that in public.

Y/N was trying to teach him an underflip, but Sean wasn’t concentrating enough.

She’s so close, he kept thinking.

“Dude, are you listening to me?” She complained. Sean only nodded. “Okay, then at least get your feet right. Here,” she pointed with her right foot. Sean stepped there. “And here,” he also stepped there. “Remember to keep your feet out of the way so your board has room to flip. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Try again.”

Sean tried, once again, unsuccessfully. “I keep landing primo, this sucks,” he complained.

“It’s fine, I landed a lot like that in the beginning. It’s all part of the process.”

“I don’t think I’ll get it today.”

“Keep your hopes up, Diaz.”

“You think I’m kicking the board up from below right?”

“You’re doing everything right, you just need to practice more, especially your landing. You can practice landing with one foot, if that’s the problem.”

“I think I rather take a break.”

“Or that works too.”

The two of them sat on the edge of the ramp. Sean noticed that her pinkie was far too close to his own - just a few millimeters and they’d be touching. He took a deep breath and looked away.

“Washington has this weird air, but I like it here.”

“How was California?”

“Sunny and warm,” she smiled at him, and Sean felt again that same pinch. “Hey, I’m sorry I was such an asshole.”

“I already forgave you, cut it out.”

“I mean it,” then she grabbed his hand, and the world stopped, and all Sean could see was Y/N.

“You’re forgiven, you know that,” his voice didn’t sound his own voice at all. His voice was hoarse.

She was gazing at him, and if eyes could burn, Sean would’ve already turned into a pile of ashes. He decided it was okay for him to get closer to her, his knee touching hers. The tip of her index finger drew circles on his palm.

“This is weird, isn’t it?” She asked, looking down at her own feet.

It was supposed to be weird, Sean thought, but it wasn’t, not really. He only nodded negatively and mumbled a no. Y/N intertwined her fingers with his and they sat together like this on the edge of the ramp, looking down at all the people skating, jumping and sliding around.

“This is kinda unpredicted.”

“All the unpredicted things have happened the moment you showed up,” Sean said, sounding confident.

“Is it now?” She giggled, and the sound of her giggles made Sean want to look at her, the sun resting on her face, and he wondered if it was warm, or how soft her skin would be.

Sean kept taking in all of her facial features until she broke the moment. “Don’t ruin it, Diaz.”

“Of course not,” he said, cupping her chin with his thumb and index finger, pulling her face up so she could look at him. “I won’t ruin it unless you tell me to.”