#it’s a horrible but necessary thing to read about these and feel that sense of deja vu because so many of them are so similar

[joshuaalbert]

I’m still on my whole mental tangent from yesterday about the effects of the ‘92 LA riots on ds9 and I think it lends something really…interesting to the bell riots plotline in past tense pts 1&2? admittedly I’m doing a memory alpha/wikipedia search rather than a true deep dive but it seems like they cite the kent state shootings, the attica prison riots, the 1965 watts riots, and the ever present issues with how major cities deal with unhoused populations as inspiration, but that’s as recent as it gets. these episodes filmed in 1994, which puts them as far out from the events of 1992 as we are from the events of 2020, and I don’t think right now you could write a story about massive societal unrest, protest, and rioting without the events of 2020 being a direct inspiration. so the intriguing part to me here is whether this inspiration would have felt obvious enough at the time that it didn’t Need to be cited, or was it considered risky to cite something so recent (rather than 20-30 years in the past) as inspiration lest it be seen as condoning real world violence?

seeing as I would not be alive for several more years while this was airing, I don’t think i get to weigh in on that, so if anyone was alive and conscious of both current events and ds9 during the early 90s and has an answer to that question, or at least more substantiated thoughts, let me know. I’m curious about it because a lot of the tumblr fanbase was born after that era or were very young during it, so it’s cultural context that’s not necessarily commonly considered.

[sweetcollywobbles]

my yandere!leon headcanons so far MDNI

hello! these are just a few headcanons i had about leon as a yandere and a person in general. there is nsfw below the cut, so MINORS AND AGELESS BIOS FUCK OFF ‼ also feel free to send me your thoughts on yandere!leon and your personal headcanons if you have any!!

xx

sfw

⟢ he's self-aware that what he's done to you is horrible. he knows you have every right to hate him, but that doesn't stop him from wishing you would love him back. he never meant to hurt or deceive you, but he's lost and given too much. leon wants someone to come home to, share a meal with, and feel needed and wanted. to receive a sliver of what he's given out. so forgive him if he's being selfish when it comes to you, but he deserves happiness too. so why not help him play house?

⟢ smells of bergamot and lavender. it’s nice and relaxing, but also musky and woodsy. he read somewhere that lavender calms the nerves, so he just absolutely lathers himself in the scent. Sometimes you swear he smells like sleep personified. unfortunately, he’s still a man, so he uses old spice lavender body wash. for cologne, he uses sauvage by dior. 

⟢ normalcy is hard. how can anyone go back into society as if the amount of  horrors you’ve seen, aren’t there? like you’re fine and everything is fine? so, leon has found a pretty good remedy, company. each friday, a sit down dinner with claire, chris, and jill. pizza, wings, and beer every sunday with chris watching whatever football game is on. sometimes they may not know the current standings of teams, but it’s fun to pretend that they do. yet friends can only fill the void so much, maybe with you, the world won’t feel so lonely. 

⟢ he has a major sweet tooth! likes his coffee with cream and sugar, won’t drink his coffee black unless he really needs it. leon will always have room for dessert lmao. has tried to bake, but he just doesn’t got it 💀something just always goes wrong. a big ice cream/frozen yogurt guy. once a month, leon will make a “everything under the kitchen sink” sundae. he’ll dump whatever pints of ice cream into a large bowl and top it off with whatever candy, syrup, and whip topping he has. leon is usually on a very strict diet, so why not splurge?

⟢ leon on his off time has taught himself how to smoke/grill meat. only knows how to make small side dishes to go with the meat that he’s made. mashed potatoes and grilled veggies are usually his two favorite go-to sides. 

⟢ i'm a firm believer that leon's receiving love languages are quality time and words of affirmation with a hint of acts of service. leon works a lot, whether at the office or away on another mission, this poor, tired man is always working. so when he's home be prepared to be attached at the hip. leon also has a lot of self-doubt and guilt about what he's done to you, so by telling him how much you love and appreciate him, it feeds his growing delusion that what he's done is necessary. you need him just as much as he needs you. it also adds to the reassurance when you do small things for him to show your love and appreciation, whether it’s real or not. like cleaning and folding his laundry, making him a cup of coffee in the morning, back rubs after a long day, or even packing his lunch for the day. 

i’m giggling at the thought of leon keeping all the small notes you add to his lunch, reading them when the day gets tough. or maybe he has one or two in a go-bag when he has to take small out-of-state trips for work. 

⟢ building off the one before, he won't admit it but he's clingy. he prefers showers, but will choose a bath if it means he gets a small intimate moment with you in the morning. not in a sexual sense, more in a “let’s bask in each other’s presence”. never sits across from you at a table or booth, always next to you. same thing for the couch. there could be a thousand pillows on the bed, but he always chooses yours. leon will also never lets you sleep facing any windows/doors for security reasons. there is no such thing as personal space with this man.

⟢ since leon is a yandere his reciprocating love language is all of them. he wants you to stay with him, so he is willing to drown you in his love until it's the only thing you'll ever know. i'm going to break this down a little in sections.  

⟡ leon isn't the best when it comes to choosing the words that relay how he feels. the words feel wrong and it leaves him awkward. so any sort of verbal praise from him is rare. the most you would get from him is a thumbs up and a "sure" or a pat on the back with a nod.

(😀👍🏻 <— leon fr) but, put a piece of paper infront of this man and all of a sudden he's writing words that’ll make shakespear blush. it's words so sickly sweet it gives you a toothache. leon really hates himself for not being able to verbal relay this to you, but maybe you can feel what he wants to say?

⟡ leon is just really good at showing you how he feels than telling you. I KNOW THIS MAN WOULD GIVE THE BEST HUGS BECAUSE HE SO DESPERATELY NEEDS ONE. just imagining leon giving you a bear hug, fully enveloping you, and he can't help but hold you a little closer. maybe even holds your head a little more to him. his eyes are closed, soaking up the loving moment, he might even do a little sigh of relief. because with you, he's safe. with you, he's loved. and he just wants you to feel the love he has for you through every action. to feel what he can't say. (SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK!!) leon also always has to be touching you in some way. his favorite places for kisses; nose, cheek, neck, or hand. every morning, when he's holding you close, he'll leave small repeated kisses on your neck until you wake up giggling. not really into lip kisses, but will sometimes start a lazy make out session. just loves holding you whenever he can and making sure you feel loved at all times.

⟡ leon will also do the most for you. having a hard time sleeping? he's awake with you, lightly scratching your back in small circles or holding you close while he's running his fingers through your hair. leon just can't sleep knowing that you're having a hard time sleeping. hungry but don't want to cook? he's in the kitchen cheffing it up. putting love in every plate that he makes you, even if it isn't restaurant quality. i feel like leon will also leave you small notes around the house in places that you would find, but it's little drawings instead of words. in the slow cooker, a picture of a flower. in between the dryer sheets, a bad stick figure drawing of what you think is of you and him. at some random page of the book you're reading, a simple heart. 

⟡ leon loves spending time with you. it doesn't matter what it is, even if you're doing nothing. he wants to do nothing with you. his favorite thing to do with you is listen to you. whether you’re rambling about the latest tv drama he knows nothing about or it’s late at night and you’re reading whatever book you’ve picked up. he loves being in the kitchen when you’re cooking/baking. he’s your dedicated sous chef, so feel free to boss him around like your gordon ramsay. although, i’m so sorry for the amount of “my name is sue” jokes he’ll make. loves watching movies, putting together legos/ doing diy crafts, and playing mario kart. 

I NOTICED THIS WAS GETTING LONG AND IDK IF I EXPLAINED THIS WELL BUT IM HOPING I DID. THIS WAS SOOOO SELF INDULGENT.

⟢ when it comes to pet names, leon will add a “my” to the start of it. he’s possessive and it shows in his actions. will often say: my girl, my sweetheart, my baby, my angel, etc.

nsfw (i’m not good at smut sorry)

⟢ the praise problem does not equate to what happens in the bedroom. i'm sorry, i just simply refuse. a complete 180, he's a talker. whether it's saying something so outlandishly lewd like he wants the whole world to hear or sickly sweet nothings in your ear, this dude will NOT stfu. (and it makes me giggle and kick my feet) I WILL PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE AND SAY THAT THIS MAN IS ABSOLUTELY FERAL IN BED. he's always stressed. from his job, from the lack of self care, from the past that just never seems to leave him. he's on edge. he has healthy ways of releasing it, but sometimes the gym or extra training isn't enough. 

⟢ which can lead to leon being a little mean in bed. he’s absolutely degrading the life out of you while also giving you whiplash with the praise that he gives you as well. leon is a lot more aggressive and at some point you’re just a fleshlight to him. spanking, choking, biting, spitting, you name it, it is on the table. also licking whatever drool comes out of his mouth makes him lose his mind fr.

⟢ i'm not good at writing smut, but i do have an idea of what i think leon's favorite sex positions would be. the first one would be mating press. it's extremely intimate and it allows him to be close to your face and neck than the regular missonary position. again, he really gets off knowing that he's the one getting you off. another postition would be cowgirl, it gives him full view of your chest and face, except you're not really riding him. again, he just using you as a fleshlight like giving you the perception that you’re in control. another would be you on your belly and him basically putting you in a headlock. IDK WHAT IT’S CALLED BUT IF YKYK. and leon just saying the most down right atrocious things in your ear would make me go crazy. 

YOU’RE GONNA SIT THERE AND TELL ME YOU DON’T WANT HIS HUGE ARMS AROUND YOUR NECK, YOU’RE INSANE. 

⟢ last but not least, ✨moaning✨. i like to think that he’s a grunter and whiner at the same time. idk if that makes any sense? he’s loud but not obscenely loud. but sometimes when he overstimulates himself, he’s a complete whiner like lovi (again if ykyk).

[hailsatanacab]

"give me a fandom and a prompt and i'll give you at least five sentences"

Ok then.

Jazz, Danny and Bruce are in the same age range, and Bruce has been harboring a massive crush on 7'foot tall Jazz since just after he began his training journey.

His kids know about and are mercyless. Danny thinks he's a bit of a fruit loop and 100% knows Bruce has a crush on his sister.

Into the future his coworkers find out that batman has been quietly pining after the Ghost Kings sister for years.

Chaos.

love that this reads as a challenge. Ok then. Write it. i will, let's goooo!

(sorry i kinda took it so that Jazz, Danny, and Bruce were all old friends but in that horrible adult way where you can only hang out with each other once in a blue moon when your work schedules miraculously align)

——

"Respectfully, Batman, you can take your "it's not necessary" and you can shove it up your arse. There's a demon the size of a skyscraper heading towards Metropolis and we need reinforcements."

"Superman can—"

"Superman can't. You do remember the part of the report I made telling you this, right? Or did your stubborn little bat brain just shut down when I mentioned magic?"

"Actually," Nightwing interrupts from the side, a shit-eating grin on his face, "I think his brain shut down when you mentioned the Ghost King."

"Nightwing." Batman growls in warning, his jaw clenching so hard Constantine can swear he hears the bones creaking.

Nightwing just snickers, and turns away to press a finger to his ear, no doubt letting the rest of the bat brood in on what's happening here... Whatever that is. All Constantine knows is that Batman is standing between him and fixing this mess for no God-forsaken reason.

Luckily, some of the more reasonable members of the League step in to try and talk some sense into Batman. It gives him some time to calm down.

"Batman. We need him. I know you dislike working with unknowns, but he's our best shot."

It actually looks like Wonder Woman might be getting through to him, Batman even opens his mouth to actually explain some things—a huge step forward for this incredibly emotionally constipated man.

Instead, Nightwing snorts and beats him to it. "Unknowns? More like—"

"Nightwing, please."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, get your head out of your arse and let me do this. The Ghost King is our only hope. I'm summoning him, no matter what you say."

For a long second, Constantine thinks that he'll refuse and he might have to resort to more violent methods of persuasion—which, honestly, Constantine has fantasised about many times during the more boring JL meetings—but eventually, Batman relents and steps out of the way.

"Fine. Nightwing, go check in with Red Robin."

Nightwing has the kind of devious smile that makes John glad he doesn't have kids.

"Oh, don't worry about it, B. Red Robin's coming here. So's Red Hood, I don't need to go anywhere."

"Nightwing—"

"Sh, it's starting." So saying, Nightwing then very obviously ignores Batman's protests with a poker face that even Constantine envies. What he wouldn't give to be able to shut the bat out like that.

The summoning goes quickly, thankfully. The lights flicker, the temperature drops, and the chalk circle erupts in green flames. Standard summoning practices, sure. Even the impromptu appearance of Red Hood and Red Robin—"Did we miss him?", "No, not yet! I got 2:37, what about you guys?"—doesn't throw him off.

It does pique his interest, though. Just what the hell is going on with them? Constantine's weighing up the pros and cons of asking them once all of this is over when the ground splits open and the clawed hand of the Ghost King begins to pull himself out of the ground.

John's a seasoned summoner. It's practically his job, he's done it countless times.

The icey fear that grips his heart, that freezes his breath in his chest, is new.

Pure, unadulterated power floods the area and he feels small, so, so small, like a child playing with things he doesn't understand. When he finally tears his eyes away from the portal, he catches a glimpse of the other magic users in the room, the same horror he feels clear in their faces. Even Captain Marvel stares slackjawed.

The pressure rises, death magic screaming in his ears, almost forcing him to his knees, and suddenly he's not so sure this is a good idea.

Too late to back out now, though.

Sickly green light pours from the crack in the ground, growing brighter and brighter as the giant figure rises, until Constantine has to close his eyes and look away. The last thing he sees are eyes, teeth, horns, a crown so bright that it burns an afterimage into his retinas.

When the light dies down and he opens his eyes again, a humanoid man floats in the centre of the circle. The ground is whole, nothing is burning, the man doesn't even have a crown. Instead, other than the wispy white hair, slightly green skin, and the—you know—floating, the Ghost King appears pretty normal. Huh.

Constantine blinks, rubbing his bleary eyes, and checks around to make sure everyone's okay. Most of the League are doing the same as him, taking fortifying breaths and trying to appear as if they've not just been completely blinded.

Most of them, that is, aside from the Gotham vigilantes.

Batman himself stands upright, arms crossed, looking completely unbothered by the whole thing and John's got to admit, he wishes he could do that, too. That was... a hell of a show.

The others, however, are waving frantically with huge smiles on their faces.

What?

There's a brief, taut silence, as everyone else tries to catch their breath.

As much as he would rather take a bit of a breather, John should probably start making introductions. Unfortunately, he only gets as far as opening his mouth before the Ghost King beats him to it.

"Oh, Ancients, hey guys! It's been forever, how are you? Look at you all, so grown up, wow—Nightwing, buddy, do a flip!"

It doesn't take much to get Nightwing going, and he certainly doesn't leave it at one flip. The whole of the Justice League and Justice League Dark watch with open mouths as Nightwing performs for the Ghost King.

What, and John can't stress this enough, the fuck?

As soon as Nightwing rights himself, Red Hood swats him across the back of the head and calls him a show off.

The Ghost King just laughs as he claps. "There's my little monkey, look at you go! And I'm loving that leather jacket, Hood, is that new? Looks good on you, really your colour. Brings out the red in your helmet."

"Thanks, Uncle D. At least someone around here appreciates fashion."

"Are you kidding me, you know I breathe fashion, need I remind—"

"Need I remind you of the Discowing incident?"

"That was era-appropriate and you know it! Uncle D, tell him it was era-appropriate!"

"It was era-appropriate, but so are crocs and it doesn't make them fashionable." The Ghost King—and holy shit, is this actually the Ghost King? Or did Constantine just accidentally summon a deceased family member, what the fuck is happening here?—turns to look at Red Robin with a smile, resolutely ignorning the argument he created. "How you doing, Double R? You get that tablet Tucker made for you?"

"Yes, thank you! It's so cool, how did he—"

"How's Tucker doing?" Batman interrupts, his hands now hidden underneath his cape.

As soon as the question leaves his lips, everyone groans. Red Robin makes a show of lifting up his wrist and staring at it intently.

"Incredible," Red Hood mutters with a shake of his head.

Even the Ghost King seems put out, rolling his eyes and answering in a flat tone as if he knows Batman isn't interested in what he has to say.

Not for the first time, Constantine feels like he's missing something.

"Tucker's doing very well, thank you for asking."

What follows is the most awkward silence Constantine has ever had the pleasure to be a part of.

All three of the Gotham vigilantes, including the Ghost King, are staring at Batman, waiting for something. Batman's cloak shifts as if he's moving his hands, fidgeting. If Constantine didn't know any better, he'd say he was nervous.

"Good. That's good, I'm glad to hear it."

Instead of saying anything else, the Ghost King just raises his eyebrows and continues to stare at Batman. Has he offended him in some way? Are they all going to die because of this?

After what seems like an agonising few minutes but could only really be a few seconds, Batman's shoulders dip and he takes a breath. "And Jazz?"

They all erupt into shouts, the Ghost King being the loudest. The only thing John can make out is when the Ghost King throws his hand in the air to point at Red Robin with a shout of "Time!"

"1:30.91, we got 1:30.91 on the clock, who's closest?"

"Did you even try to hold it in at all, old man? I'm so disappointed in you. People think you're cool. People think you're suave, I don't understand how they could be so wrong."

"Thank you for that, Hood."

"No, thank you, I won. Again. Because you're so predictable. Actually, I had one minute seventeen, so you held out longer than I thought you would."

Batman pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs loudly.

Constantine feels like doing the same thing.

Whatever. He's going to have to interrupt... whatever this is. There's still a rampaging demon heading their way that they've got to bargain for. He can untangle Batman's personal connection to the Ghost King later. Or he could leave it alone and forget everything about it.

Yeah, he'll do that one.

But before he can actually open his mouth to say anything, the Ghost King, again, beats him to it.

"So, B-Man, did you summon me here for a particular reason, or was it really just so you could ask about Jazz?"

There's a beat of silence before Batman mutters, "I asked about Tucker, too. We've not seen each other in so long, it's only polite."

"And I'm sure you meant it, you're the paragon of manners." The Ghost King nods slow and wide-eyed as if he doesn't believe him at all.

At this point, even Constantine doesn't believe him.

"It has been forever, though." The Ghost King muses, bringing his hand to his chin and folding his legs underneath him. "We should all get together sometime! If you get Alfie to make some of his cookies again, I'll get Clockwork to lend us a pocket dimension where we can spend as much time as we want, deal?"

"It's a deal."

No hesitation at all, incredible.

Hold on. Wait. John has to fight the urge to pinch himself, because this has to be a dream, right? Is Batman actually smiling? He didn't even know he could do that.

An itch niggles at the back of John's mind. He's starting to get an inkling of what's going on here and it's... weird, to say the least.

"Oooh," Nightwing singsongs, like a child in a playground tickled by the very idea of romance.

But then, who's he to judge? John's no stranger to strange bedfellows, that's for sure. Whoever this Jazz is, she must be something incredible—she'd have to be, if Batman can't even go two minutes without asking about her.

"Batman and Jasmine sitting in a tree," Nightwing continues, with both Red Hood and Red Robin joining in for the rest. "K—I—S—S—I—"

"Stop," Batman growls, completely drowned out by the Ghost King's laughter, but...

But.

It all suddenly clicks for John.

The Ghost King Phantom.

Her Royal Highness, Princess Jasmine Phantom.

Jazz.

"Holy shit, mate," John breathes, unable to stop himself as everyone looks his way. "You have the hots for the Princess of the Infinite Realms?"

The Justice League meeting room has never descended into chaos quicker.

[anime-owo-kage-san]

Husk rescuing Angel from Valentino or pretty much any danger in general is still my favorite —incredibly common but still favorite— huskerdust trope. Especially, him (whether in comics or in fanfics) carrying Angel in his arms and flying to safety —Aaaah! 🥺 That’s a whole fluffy dessert for me!

I try to find and read every fanfic and comic I see (AU or canon-divergent), especially the ones where Husk wins Angel’s contract from Valentino.

I know Angel Dust shouldn’t be subjected to being a damsel in distress, because there is more to his character. But, like… come on. While the sweet thing doesn’t really need protection, he needs to feel and know somebody will do it anyway.

Ofc, this is just my craving in fanworks.

As for canon and what I actually want to see happen in the show, to get Angel free from his contract:

1.) Angel shoots/stabs/etc. Val from the fucking front (with some slight hesitance because he technically ruined his clean-streak for doing it).

Oooor, what I like better, bc it involves Huskerdust:

2.) Husk invites both Angel and Valentino somewhere private, to make a bet through poker.

Husk: “One round of poker. You lose, Angel’s soul no longer belongs to you. You win, you get to keep his contract.”

Angel panics and tries to knock some sense into Husk, even though Valentino is disinterested in the whole thing and was going to say no anyway, but plot twist ——>

Angel: “Do I have to slap the fucking White Knight Syndrome outta ya!? I told ya, ya crazy motherfucker! I can handle myself!”

Husk: *smiles* “I know.” *hands Angel his the deck of cards* “Which is why I’m letting you, handle this. Go win your soul back, Legs.”

Angel: *shocked* “B-But that’s even worse! I only beat you, like… once in this game!”

Husk: “And you only need to beat Valentino once too. I know you can do it. But, if you think you can’t, well….” *smirks* “That’s why I’m here.”

Angel: “What do you mean…?”

Husk: “Since you suck at valuing yourself so much, I thought of giving you a better motivation to work with.”

Angel: “Better motivation…?”

Husk: *turns to Valentino* “There’s more; if you win, you not only get to keep Angel, but you get to have my soul too.”

Angel: “HUSK!”

Valentino: “HA! And why would I want the soul of a old rundown alley cat?”

Husk: “My soul is owned by Alastor. Imagine what Vox would think, about the idea of Alastor losing one of his souls to you.”

Angel: “Does Smiles know about this deal yer makin’ right now!?”

Husk: “Yes, he does. And he agreed to it.”

Valentino: *still disinterested* “Not convinced, gatito. You’re still not rubbing me the right way~”

Husk: “I’m not done. I’m not like any other soul, he owns.”

Valentino: “Mmhmm…”

Husk: “I have some information on why he disappeared for seven years. Not the complete context, but it’s still a big secret he definitely wouldn’t want any other overlords to find out about.”

Valentino: “Oh? Well, now that’s interesting. Voxxy would be pleased to hear anything about the radio demon.”

Angel: “Okay, does Smiles know about THAT!?”

Husk: “Hm? Nope. I’m completely fucked if he finds out I told the Vees what I know. He’ll definitely tear my soul apart and broadcast my screams longer than anyone else’s….”

Valentino: “I take it you want protection?”

Husk: “No. Not necessary. If my soul gets handed off to you, and I give you the needed information, you’re not obliged to protect me.”

Valentino: “Now you’re talking my language, gatito~ Game on. Come Angel! Prepare to lose your little boyfriend over here.”

Angel: *ignores Val and grabs Husk by the shoulders* “Husk! We’re leaving now! I don’t want anything horrible to happen to you!”

Husk: “And nothing will happen to me. I know you can do this. Or…. Am I being too full of myself to think you’d give your all for me?”

Angel: “Wh-What…?”

Husk: “I get it. We may be getting used to each other, but I’m not all that important enough to you!”

Angel: “Bullshit!” *grabs him by the suspenders* “You go through so much for my sake! What makes you think I won’t do the same!? I’d go through this hell twice, just to repay all the times you had to deal with me!”

Husk: *smiles softly and places a hand on his cheek* “Then go win this game, Legs.”

(Basically, instead of rescuing Angel himself, Husk tricks Angel into finally getting out of his contract, by putting his own life on the line).

[joe-spookyy]

Dude tell me your thoughts about Daniel Cain + any headcannons??

hi what greatest ask i’ve ever received because all i ever have are thoughts about daniel cain. sorry this is gonna be an essay. um.

tldr - dan cain is a super fascinating character (especially when you read him as queer) and his high empathy makes it difficult for him to make the hard but necessary choices found often in the medical field, but easy for him to be manipulated by those he thinks can help him do the most Good. also he is not immune to herbert west. full post under cut and it’s pretty good you should read it.

ok first off he is literally JUST like me for real. but second. i really think he’s a fascinating character no matter how you read him. his empathy is Soooo high and it affects literally everything he does - sometimes for the worse cause he’s a doctor and honestly cannot afford to be getting this upset every time he loses a patient. but it’s part of him, which i think makes him a super interesting counterpart to herbert. he’s so distinctly Human and he cares so much about the people around him, and he’s a horrible doormat/people pleaser. this is, obviously, not at all like herbert. narrative foils oooooh. when i met bruce abbott he told me he thinks dan is a “spineless worm”, which may be technically true, but i think the way dan is so easily convinced to go along with herbert is because of this heavy empathy. he wants to do everything within his power to make things better, and what could really be better than conquering death? how much pain could he stop just with that?

because of that, i think it makes SO much sense that it was so easy for herbert to initially manipulate him into working together. plus i also think later on in the films his feelings for herbert get in the way of his judgement to. an incredible extent. herbert just has to ask and dan will immediately be at his every beck and call. hes like a dog. he wants out but he can’t stop coming back to herbert. i struggle to find any other way to explain why he’d still be living with herbert after the first movie - after all, herbert kind of did kill everything dan ever loved (girlfriend, cat, legitimate medical career). and i think these things affected him on a really deep level (which. yeah. obviously) but the way he acts in bride is so indicative of what that kind of trauma does to a person and it’s fascinating to me. he projects so hard on to gloria because of how guilty he felt for not being able to save meg. he shuts down in a lot of the more serious situations. sure, he did have his little going into shock moment in the first film, but it’s a reoccurring thing in bride. he doesn’t seem to have such a strong moral code anymore, but that empathy is still there - even though what he’s doing with herbert and their little bride project isn’t quite morally Right, all he really has left is herbert and he is dying for a way to get back to the normalcy that herbert has pulled away from him. and yet, he’s never able to really Leave. he can’t move out, he can’t stop helping herbert, he can’t really get meg back as much as he tries. but he’s too far down the rabbit hole to really care at this point. he just cares about getting what he loves back.

and sure. did he abandon herbert at the end of the first movie for meg? yeah. did he abandon herbert at the end of the second movie for francesca? also yes. did he rat herbert out to the authorities? yes (but that’s a character choice i simply cannot get behind he would not do that shit after everything he still does obviously love and care about herbert if he was gonna be a narc he would have done it after the first movie herbert didn’t even do all that much wrong in the second movie like come on he was just getting creative. whatever. anyways.) now, his choice to save meg in the first movie makes a lot of sense, in my opinion. he assumed herbert was dead (which. not a bad assumption tbh) and meg was his girl - it makes a lot more sense to save her than someone he hasn’t known for nearly as long. but when he chooses to escape with francesca and leave herbert behind, it’s a little bit jarring. he’s obviously gotten close with herbert. they still live together, they bicker like a married couple, and if we’re being honest he kind of follows herbert’s every command. again. like a dog. and plus! they just created life together in a quite homoerotic fashion!!! why in the world would dan fumble this?? well, i think i can explain it. herbert represents a lack of societal normalcy. think like doctor praetorius in the bride of frankenstein. herbert’s heavily queercoded, he actively defies god, he kills and he disrespects the dead and he’s terrible socially and he shoots up drugs (sorta) and he is all about medical malpractice. this is the opposite of what someone like dan SHOULD want. dan’s straight passing (or straight if you want to read him that way which i don’t recommend cause otherwise this analysis doesn’t make as much sense), kind and friendly, and wants a good, normal career in the medical field. and he loves his perfect girlfriend. meg (and later francesca) represent these “good” and “normal” things that dan wants and is expected to want. herbert, again, represents the opposite. so for dan to choose herbert and save him over either meg or francesca, he would be choosing to step away from the life he is “supposed” to live, the socially acceptable life. people are already suspicious of him and west as we see in the novelization of the first movie, and to save his visibly queer strange little “roommate” over the woman he’s supposed to love would have certain implications that would draw dan away from this life of normalcy that he wants so badly. but most importantly. herbert always comes back. he’s a part of dan that can’t be escaped.

well. that was a lot. headcanons. umm. i think you probably got a lot from the novel i just wrote but here’s more.

- i loveeee the dan starts smoking after meg dies hc

- i don’t believe he ratted on herbert. i think they’re still working together making freaky shit to this day. even as old men.

- i know i just said queer the whole time i was talking but he’s bisexual and you aren’t allowed to disagree with me. herbert’s gay though. emphasizes the differences between them - dan CAN choose that “normal” life but herbert can’t.

- i think he ends up needing glasses as he gets older. he wears em to read in the first movie and i think his vision declines.

- also he goes grey earlier than herbert imo cause of all the stress. herbert makes fun of him for this but herbert’s hairline is. ummmn. less powerful. so dan has ammo to fight back.

- i don’t think he’d ever be able to get a cat again after rufus. or really any pet. i don’t think he trusts himself not to damage everything he touches

- i think he’s a huge talking heads stan. you could argue this as canon because of the stop making sense poster above his bed, but i think he’s a super fan. and maybe i’m projecting. so what.

- no matter how many times herbert does it or offers it to him, he refuses to take any of the reagent.

uhh. yeah. sorry that this post is so long i hope it is sufficient to what you were looking for. thank you sincerely so much for asking this was the most fun i’ve ever had. bless up.

[twothpaste]

Y'see, no, y'see, what I mean is like

Claus starts the very first battle with 42 HP (the number 42 is associated with death in Japan). He loses his shoes as he ventures to his doom at the Drago Plateau (another piece of Japanese death symbolism). He re-emerges as a nigh-silent, apparently emotionless revenant - with a broken, disjointed heartbeat. Some Tazmilians speak of him as if he's already obviously dead, and even suggest Flint oughtta give up on his lost son. Which is cold and painful to hear, but does reinforce the game's consistent theme of moving on from grief. This perpetual tension between clinging to the past out of love & hope, and coming to terms with a bygone loss.

When Hinawa's ghost speaks to Claus, she says, "You must be so exhausted." Personally, I get the sense this implies a deathly weariness beyond just how overworked n' stressed out the kid is (especially considering the person saying it is a ghost herself). But more importantly, she tells him, "Come to your mother." Which would be… kind of a deranged and horrible thing for her to ask of him, if he wasn't already supposed to be dead. She calls to him from beyond the grave, and asks him to join her at last. And he does, without question. Recognizing he's been kept alive against his will this whole time, a tormented spirit that was never permitted to move on, trapped in a robotic corpse that's been twisted beyond repair.

His three-years-delayed death, though heartwrenching, brings the story's motifs of grief and acceptance to a natural conclusion. Flint has to finally let go, Lucas has to find peace with it. You can't re-animate the past, or fix anything by selfishly pursuing it. In fact, you may just wind up zombifying its image into something corrupt, something hardly recognizable (Porky does this constantly 🤧). Only by letting it lie can you honor it, and begin moving toward a better future.

'Course, this is just my impression of what Itoi's intentions were with Claus. One of a bazillion possible interpretations, and by no means the most definitive. Even on the off chance I'm totally right about what he was goin' for, he's a chill dude who's stated plenty of times he welcomes fans to find their own meaning in these games. That's kinda the point of narrative art, after all. I personally feel like the story hits harder if Claus' suicide was yet another reckless choice he made, rather than a necessary course of fate. Interpreting it instead as a second tragedy all its own - with its own slew of implications - rather than a conclusion to the first. Lettin' the character be more than just a sacrificial symbol. That's just me, though. 🤸‍♂️

But altogether I just love how many ways this game can be read and re-read. How much it has to offer, if you peel back the layers and inspect it a little differently. And how other fans are always drawing my attention to different angles, makin' me reconsider it in new and compelling ways.

[ohisms]

↪     𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷𝒀 𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑳𝑶𝑾 .    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  the  1999  film   “  sleepy hollow  ” .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary . )  

help ,  here  —  lend a hand .

just a moment ,  if i may  —

i stand up for sense  &  justice .

do make certain you meet with success .

such a day for such a sad farewell .

this is such a silly game .

be a sport  &  stop complaining !

play along ,  you must .

forgive me ,  i didn’t know .

we haven’t heard your name yet ,  friend .

you need some manners .

if we could speak alone ?

how much have your superiors bothered to tell you ?

you are horribly old - fashioned ,  aren’t you ?

feel free to form your own opinion ,  though it appears you already have .

it seems i’ve made matters worse .

i’ll leave you to your business .

excuse me  ...  i should apologize .

is it me ,  or are you this nervous around all women ?

do be a dear  &  tell me all about it .

sounds like an extraordinary place to live a life .

there is no such thing as magic .

to call a person superstitious is to imply they fear magic .

poets have silly notions .

you do believe me now ,  don’t you ?

you need less big words ,  &  more common sense .

what the hell are you doing ?

i am not here for revenge .  i am here to bring justice .

i manage fine alone .

i deserve to help you .  don’t you see how much this means ?

what are you spying on ?

i beg you ,  no more ,  please .

i will not allow it .  i will not !

why was i not told of this ?

you should step outside .

sorry for disturbing you .  i thought a forgotten candle was burning .

having trouble sleeping ?

i have something to show you ,  if you have a moment .

these scars .  how did you get them ?

oh ,  you are hopeless .

i have a gift for you .  true magic which even you will not be able to deny .

are you saying i should be frightened ?

what will it take for you to realize this is no laughing matter ?

don’t be afraid  ...  don’t be afraid .

you promised justice .  people have put their trust in you .

why would you do such a thing ?

leave me .  you are not welcome here .

allow me some time .

the things i said to you before  ...  i was wrong to say them .

every word you spoke had truth in it .

if you want me to go ,  i will .  do you want me to leave ?

i no longer know what i think or what i feel .

why are you so afraid ?  is there truly such harm in uncertainty ?

i should be going  ...  good day to you .

i’m one of the few people who likes you .

i apologize if i worried you .

my god  ...  what has happened ?

yes ,  i did notice that ,  thank you .

i am a bad habit .  there’s nothing for it .

don’t let him get you .

lay still ,  [ name ] .  do not move .

i’m drawing bad blood from the wound .

you were half - drowned when they found you .

i serve a fine purpose alive .

midnight seems an appropriate time .

hide in my room  &  bolt the door til i return .

i was getting worried .

do you have anything to clean it with ?

i know you saw me .

i know you followed me last night .

i appreciate your concern .

you are so upset now  ...  &  yet ,  you seemed in such good spirits last night .

why have i not seen your face for so long ?

i have been reading your journal .

what would you have me believe ?

if you think i am behind this ,  say it .

call me a liar ,  then ,  &  a  murderer .

what is stopping you ?  what has happened to your ability to transcend sentimentality ?

don’t dare stand looking as if you still care for me ,  after all that you have said .

if i were to confess ,  would that ease your suffering ?  would that make it easier for you to hate me ?

the next person to lay hands on me will have a bullet .

you do not know all that has happened .

why  ...  why are you like this ?

to hell with this place  &  all the people here .

won’t you change your mind ?  what can i say to convince you ?

take me with you .  there’s nothing left for me here .

forgive me .  i failed you .

you  ...  you’re alive .

no one will believe your lies .

i am not going to kill you .  not me  ...

you cannot kill what is already dead .

[samasmith23]

Why do some people think that stories portraying darker subject matter is always an inherently bad thing?

I’ve recently encountered this weird mindset in regards to certain online fandom spaces, wherein people will argue that fictional characters experiencing intense trauma and pain is somehow inherently problematic and negatively reflects on the creator’s skills or ethics. This feels like such a narrow-minded and shallow understanding of a piece of media, since characters undergoing hardships is often a necessary element for them to grow and develop as the narrative progresses. Plus, while some stories can indeed be more intense and graphic in what types of trauma is depicted, it’s mere inclusion doesn’t automatically make the story or it’s author inherently bad. For instance, even though I personally haven’t read the manga series Berserk by the late Kentaro Miura (May he Rest In Peace…), based on what I’ve heard from others while the series does include graphic depictions of sexual assault which the main protagonist Guts suffered from in his past, said-assaults are NOT framed in a gross or exploitative way, but are instead utilized to analyze and discuss the character’s feelings of physical and psychological trauma derived from said-horrible events, and heavily factors into Guts' overall backstory and development as a character as he tries to heal from the violent trauma of his past and discover some sense of happiness in a bleak world.

And yet despite this I’ve encountered a few people accuse Berserk of being “pro-rape” or even outright stating that Miura “deserved to die” (which is an absolutely disrespectful and disgusting thing to say!) simply because he included these darker elements in his manga. Like... that's as stupid as someone claiming that Quentin Tarantino is automatically "pro-murder" simply because his movies include lots of scenes of characters killing each other.

I’ve also encountered far less overtly toxic examples of this kind bad faith media criticism in comic circles. Awhile I was incredibly confused when I saw some people on Twitter arguing that Saladin Ahmed was “ill-suited to writing teenage characters” simply because of two scenes in his Miles Morales: Spider-Man & Magnificent Ms. Marvel runs respectively, which involved Miles being tortured by the new supervillain, The Assessor (who would later make clones of Miles as a result), as well as the final battle between Ms. Marvel and her evil robot-duplicate Stormranger getting quite brutal at times (you could see blood from the impact Stormranger’s punch).

In regards to the Miles’ torture scene, I've seen a small number of people argue that the scene's existence was inherently inappropriate due to Miles' status as a Black minor, going as far as to label it as "dehumanizing" and "really insensitive to the real trauma of black boys." I'm not sure how I feel about this as those labels feel a tad extreme due to the fantastical nature of Miles' stories. Like, as brutal as the scene with the Assessor is, it’s at least given a more ficitional sci-fi vibe due to the high-tech laboratory, the Frankenstein operating table, and the fact that this whole ordeal leads directly into Miles' own version of Spider-Man: Clone Saga after The Assessor acquires Miles’ DNA in the process. So it feels less grounded and not as reflective of those real-life traumatic experiences Black men and boys unfortunately go through in the U.S. like I saw a few critics of Ahmed’s run claiming. Plus, Ahmed had Miles be rescued by both his father Jefferson Morales and Uncle Aaron Davis teaming-up together. So the narrative frames the Assessor’s torture of Miles as a bad thing whilst depicting two older Black men actively putting aside their personal differences in order to save their son/nephew as a major narrative focus as well. How exactly is it "dehumanizing" or "inappropriate" then?

And it seems like this bizarre criticism isn’t just limited to Twitter comic fandoms, since a certain Lily Orchard recently made an AWFUL video which outright accused animation fandoms and creators of “fetishizing the torture and abuse of POC women” in cartoons like The Legend of Korra, The Owl House, and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. As soon as I saw the thumbnail for that video I knew it was going to be an absolute dumpster fire.

In it, not only does Lily engage in those similar types of arguments like the ones I mentioned earlier about Saladin Ahmed’s portrayal of Miles & Kamala, but Lily went multiple steps further by outright accusing various scenes from The Legend of Korra, The Owl House & She-Ra of being “literal torture p*rn” and “fetishized abuse against POC women.” With Korra, Lily accused the scenes of Korra brutally poisoned with the Red Lotus’ liquid metalic venom, Korra still being significantly weakened by the poison during her final battle with Zaheer (causing her to fall and tumble down cliff-sides) and Zaheer trying to use his air-bending to suck the oxygen right out of Korra’s lungs (the same technique he previously used to assassinate the Earth Queen), plus the Unalaq fight from the Season 2 finale where extracts the Avatar spirit from Korra and kills all her past lives one by one with a water-whip as “white centrist writers being turned on by the trauma and torture of a woman of color.”

And in regards to She-Ra, Lily accused Catradora shippers of being an example of fandom going “full mask-off” simply because she found 2 or 3 random comments defending Catra’s abusive behavior prior to her gradual redemption arc in the final season simply because they found the Adora & Catra fights “hot” (which I know for a fact does NOT represent the entirety or even majority of the She-Ra fandom & Catradora shippers).

It’s just… I honestly don’t understand why Lily is describing these scenes as “torture p*rn” or “abuse fetishizing.” Like, it’s not unexpected for characters to undergo traumatic crap during their story arcs, and most often it’s for the purposes of raising the dramatic stakes of the conflict or to have said-characters eventually undergo some sort of positive change arc (which is what happens in both Korra and She-Ra btw). While the abuse Korra suffers at Zander’s hands is indeed violent, it’s intentionally disturbing and off-putting in order to increase the viewer’s suspense and fear over whether or not the main character will get out of this alive. Personally, when I first watched the Season finale of “Book 3,” I was on the edge of my seat and constantly worried for Korra’s survival, and while she is left physically and psychologically scarred by the whole ordeal I’ve heard that the entirety of “Book 4” (which I still haven’t seen BTW) focuses on Korra healing from her trauma and becoming more spiritually enlightened in the process. YouTuber and MarySue author, Princess Weekes, though had some interesting analyses about Korra’s portrayal of overcoming trauma and how its heavily rooted  in East Asian philosophy, despite Weekes' overall mixed feelings about the series in general:

And while I can’t comment on The Owl House (again, haven’t watched any of it), I can say that Lily’s characterization of Catradora as “torture p*rn/abuse fetishization” is 100% wrong since the show frames Catra’s behavior towards Adora and others throughout Seasons 1-4 as toxic and unhealthy, and Season 5 is all about her fixing herself on her own volition after realizing the harm she’s caused, and it’s only AFTER all of that when Adora & Catra become lovers. But the way Lily describes the scenes in Korra & She-Ra (which are honestly pretty PG in their levels of brutality despite being fairly dark for family-friendly animation) you’d think she was talking about some over-the-top violently explicit tentacle hentai or something, as she even goes as far as to compare the Korra & Zaheer fight to FREAKING The Passion of the Christ (seriously… Lily actually compared Korra to Mel Gibson's antisemitic guilt-tripping exploitation film which unnecessarily stretches out Jesus' torture and crucifixion; which in the Bible occurred in just a few brief passages instead of 2-and-a-half hours like in the movie).

Geez… given how Lily so inaccurately mischaracterizes these scenes from Korra and She-Ra, I’d honestly hate to see she’d react to Neon Genesis Evangelion, which is heavily centered around the characters suffering from intense depressive episodes and experiencing emotional breakdowns, whilst also including lots of psychoanalytical and disturbing imagery. Knowing Lily, she’d probably ignore the fact that NGE’s director Hideaki Anno was suffering from severe depression while creating the series (which heavily influenced the show’s overall production and themes), and instead accuse all the depictions of depression and trauma in EVA of being “unrealistic” and “inaccurate” since according to her all fictional depictions of trauma are inherently inaccurate since there’s no one universal depiction of trauma (Lily actually said that in her terrible video), and accuse all of the series’ violent and sexual imagery of being “torture p*rn” whilst calling Anno a “perverted abuse-fetishizing creep who is turned on by torture” (which feels incredibly SWERFy on Lily’s part, as well as needlessly hostile towards people who are into BDSM or sado-masachism and practice it safely and consensually) just like she did to the creators of Korra, Owl House, and She-Ra (even though NGE and especially the movie The End of Evangelion is highly critical of exactly that kind of gross and toxic behavior within Japanese Otaku subcultures).

So my overall question is this: why do Lily and some other people think that including intense trauma or brutal torture scenes in comics or animation, even when said-scenes they're framed in the story as bad things are inherently “problematic,” “dehumanizing,” “fetishistic,” or “torture/trauma p*rn”? It's like... I can understand not wanting to stomach intensely violent or depressing scenes if they can't handle them, or being critical if they feel unnecessarily mean-spirited or exploitative, but often times having darker elements is an unavoidable aspect of giving a story a sense of conflict. Conflict is necessary in order to have a plot or to develop characters, except it feels like a lot of people on social media believe that the mere inclusion of any type of darker conflict or subject matter is inherently ethically dubious regardless of how its framed within the overall narrative.

I just don't get this kind of mentality and why it's become so prevalent online these days... I really don't...

[artbyblastweave]

hello. I am in the middle of doing My Take on vampires and would appreciate your thoughts on Them in fiction. they don't seem to pop up more than occasionally in superhero media, but also you are pretty widely read & they have noticeable Eras/Tendencies that I can see.

I'm definitely not as much of a vampire guy as I'm a Superhero guy, so all my opinions on vampires should be taken with a grain of salt, and with the knowledge that a lot of this is stuff I've picked up through Osmosis and the occasional lit-review for that one class in college. But here goes-

One of my potentially more controversial takes about Vampires is that I think Vampires (and adjacent creatures like werewolves) are great at capturing the emotional truth of being part of a marginalized group, or sometimes just for being subaltern- the world against you, people make you feel like you're wrong for existing, that you're dangerous, etc.- and this is why they go gangbusters both on this website and in general. But the narrative often faceplants for me if it tries to portray vampires as a literal marginalized group because all of that stuff is often objectively true within the fiction in a way that it isn't true of real-life marginalized groups. It's a souped-up version of the X-men problem, because most of the X-Men aren't obligate cannibals! The result of this is that there have been several times I'm consuming something vampire-related that wants me to primarily sympathize with the vampires, and meanwhile I'm going "geez, that's a rough deal, but I think you all need to be killed on purely utilitarian grounds, sorry."

(I do also get the sense as well, right, that this is inextricably tangled up in the fact that a lot of foundational vampire literature was kind of just taking a lot of the horrible lies people tell about the scapegoat group du jour to justify their oppression and then making a guy of whom these things were objectively true. I get the impression, at a distance, that Dracula demonstrates like fourteen different flavors of "Those Depraved Easterners Are Coming For Our Women," although to truly lock in that Take I'm gonna have to read the thing instead of just absorbing it through Tumblr Osmosis whenever Dracula Daily is running.) There are ways to thread this needle, the big one of which is to just sand down the negative externalities of vampirism. Have them feed on animals or voluntary donors or make the human predation thing an in-universe slanderous fiction to begin with. Have them feed on exclusively on quote-unquote "criminals," if you have the right unexamined assumptions about the validity of the death penalty. Go the Elder Scrolls route, where drinking blood isn't necessary to survive but is necessary to maintain a human appearance, thus ensuring that the most morally conscientious vampires are the ones most likely to be identified as vampires and scapegoated by the angry mob. The issue I sometimes take with this is that the act of implementing a "fix" of any kind can sort of broadcast that you're trying to have your cake and eat it too- that you're cutting away the ideatic core of what makes vampires interesting when divorced from metaphor, taken objectively- that they're living trolley problems. As others have said, if you sand them down too much, what are you getting out of a vampire story that you couldn't get from a Tolkien Elf, or from Batman?

A fictional group which I've never really had this issue with, though, is Zombies, in the Romero tradition. When a work wants to construct Zombies as a primarily sympathetic group, it's much easier for me to get on board with that without feeling like the core Vibe has been compromised. This is because there's actually a fairly recent source text for zombies in the form of Romero's Living Dead films, and a major component of the Living Dead films is how much it sucks without recourse to become a zombie.

I was working on a post once, which I never finished, about how there are like, three-to-four vectors of horror that zombies can embody, which different works play up to different extents. While obviously one of the big straightforward ones is the fear that your entire community starts trying to kill you and eat you one day for basically no reason, a major anxiety on display in the original Living Dead trilogy- Dawn in particular- is that in the face of a weird but manageable problem human society would act as its own condemnation, totally failing to rise to the challenge-the horror is that we would let something as inept as a zombie be dangerous to us! Also present in those films? The horror of the idea that your daily routine is so rote and conformist that you wouldn't need to be sentient to continue to carry it out- that the biggest difference between you and them is that you can occasionally be evil in more interesting and evolved ways. And there's this fear of physically and mental degradation with zombies, which for a host of reasons I find extremely fucking relatable. The sense that your body is falling apart piecemeal, bits of you sloughing off when you turn the wrong way or turn your head too quickly. There's this fog over your thinking. The bone-deep knowledge that you used to be more, and are now fundamentally less capable- that there's just enough of you left to understand something is missing. (Read into my personal circumstances whatever you want from this.) Being a zombie is foundationally, fundamentally gross in a way that being a vampire isn't; when people try to do "sexy zombies" half the joke is the pairing of those two words. There's this horror comic Kieth Giffen did once called Tag which is basically entirely about the horror of being a corpse that could feel it; I think about that comic a lot. Anyway, because so much of the horror of zombism is external to whether they're actually attacking and killing people or not, you can totally sell me on zombies as an unfairly-maligned demographic in a way that's much harder for me to buy with Vampires- dropping the danger they pose to other people allows you to maintain so much more of the core of the thing than it does with Vampires, where it feels much more like you're tip-toeing around the tensions between Wanting To Have Fun and the moral horror inherent to what you're trying to have fun with.

[hidden-among-stars]

I do think it’s important to clarify in your OP about the house bill that this is anti-trans legislation first and foremost. while it’s of concern for alterhumans, it is very deliberately being proposed as a way to frame trans people as animals & target trans kids—the author of the bill doesn’t actually care (and probably doesn’t know) about alterhumanity.

This bill will be used to prop up transphobic laws, and probably isn’t intended to be passed at all. I don’t think removing or ignoring that context is appropriate.

- a trans therian

I was going to make a reblog about this exact thing, but I'll say what I was going to say there here instead because I think it's important to make sure everyone gets the chance to see this. This is going to be long because I tend to ramble. TL;DR: Conservatives are not framing transgender people themselves as animals, but their arguments about/beliefs regarding people who identify as animals are absolutely deeply rooted in transphobia, which itself is deeply rooted in a fear/hatred of any "divergent identity." These two concerns are very closely entwined and are part of the same fight (the fight of "just let people be whoever they are"), but are not in and of themselves the same in the sense that this lawmaker is trying to target transgender folks with this specific bill. What makes this bill particularly concerning is the fact that it treats nonhuman-identities as their own separate issue, along with the media coverage it has been getting, which could easily spark other more "viable" anti-"furry" bills to be written and potentially passed in more conservative states across the country. However, this is not a time to panic, but rather a time to be vigilant and start thinking about how we need to prepare to defend one another against whatever comes next.

The fight for trans rights certainly still needs to be at the forefront of our minds, and we also need to be watchful for this threat that is creeping out from the cesspool that is the conservative need for any kind of new "monster" to blame society's problems on.

-Sincerely, another trans therian.

The whole "litterboxes in schools/students identifying as cats/animals" thing started with conservatives who said "if we let people identify as another gender its only a matter of time before people start identifying as animals." These people are well aware that transgender does not mean somebody who identifies as a different species - their concept of nonhuman identifying folks absolutely is rooted in transphobia, but is not in and of itself necessarily about transgender folks.

Reality is, anti-trans legislation and anti-"furry" (read: therian, otherkin, transspecies, etc. - though furries who aren't part of these labels would ultimately be affected as well) legislation are two sides of the same coin - but they are still two distinct sides. That coin is the "divergent identities" coin (and really has many facets, not just two... so... perhaps more of a "divergent identities" cube?), as I'll call it. Anything that isn't cis, het, christian, human-identifying, etc. would be considered a "divergent" identity - a disorder, an illness, something to be cured, something to be eliminated.

Yes, anti-"furry" clauses have up until now been wrapped up with anti-transgender bills. That's conservatives trying to, pardon the horrible cliche, kill two birds with one stone - but one bird they are assuming exists/believe exists because of a sensationalist story, not because they necessarily know it actually exists. Make absolutely no mistake though, now that even the slight possibility of nonhuman identifying folks is on their radar, they are going to work to - in their mind - prevent it, and "cure" (read: eliminate by whatever means they feel necessary) it for whoever already fits that description.

Up until now, it's been a side issue. Something to just tack onto anti-trans bills. The fact that some jerk of a lawmaker decided that it was a strong enough issue on its own to create its own bill is concerning because this marks the first time that it is being treated less like a hypothetical or a side problem, and more like it's own separate issue worth addressing.

However, these two are part of the exact same fight, and cannot/should not be considered entirely separate. The fight is not just about "let trans people be trans," the fight is about "let people be whoever they are." That includes being any sexuality other than allo-het, that includes any religion other than christian (not necessarily an "identity", but still), that includes being anything other than cisgender, and yes, it includes identifying as any species other than human. The focus has recently been particularly targeted at trans folks, but remember that before it was trans folks, it was anyone who wasn't straight.

Conservatives always need a "monster" to defeat. They rely on the outrage of the ignorant and the bigoted in order to get what they want. Its why so many of their talking points aren't really about the economy or infrastructure but instead are about things like abortion, "illegal immigrants," non-Western nations in general, religions that are seen as "foreign" or "satanic," and any identity that isn't considered "normal." The reality is, issues like poverty, poor infrastructure, and prevalent violence are issues that can't just be solved in a day - but humans like quick fixes, so some folks (especially conservatives, though they're certainly not the only ones) think if they can blame all of these issues on anyone who is considered an "other," then many people will be quick to follow them in trying to eliminate the "other" and just push aside all of the real problems that continue to, in someway or another, benefit the people in power.

It only takes one conservative with even half a braincell to decide to google "people who identify as animals" after seeing that a bill was penned to target this specifically, to discover that we therians/otherkin/transspecies folks/etc. really do exist and that the identity is starting to gain more traction especially among youth (thanks, TikTok). I don't think the guy that penned this bill is that one conservative (this dude apparently once tried to create "bigfoot hunting season" so. y'know. i don't think he's doing much research about anything lmao), but with the media attention this bill has gained, it's only a matter of time.

HOWEVER - THIS IS NOT A TIME TO PANIC. I literally cannot stress this enough. Panic is not the response we need to have, but rather vigilance and preparedness for the day nonhuman identities eventually do find their way into the spotlight so that we can be ready for whatever we need to do to fight back against whatever future bills may follow.

[plinko-mori]

Why do I think this scene:

Is a horrible adaptation from this manga panel:

Dialogue

That's an important thing to consider, because we have a case of almost opposite messages

In the anime it is «That's right, what of it?»

It's a confirmation of what Yosano is asking to Ougai, almost immediately when she spoke to him. First point to consider

He's answering "yes" in other way, he's basically doing an affirmation of what Yosano said. While also telling her indirectly that he doesn't care and doesn't feel bad about it using a question, we have an affirmation and a question in the same sentence

We can interpret that easily because everything points to that option

«What you say is correct, why should I care?»

But in the manga it is complete different

We have «... Even if that's true, so what?»

It's a question in all the dialogue I'm analyzing, being that the first difference

He takes a pause, takes his moment to think of an answer and then he speaks, those details are important differences because it shows you how different they are

His questions is related to a possibility. In other way to say what Mori said would be «Even if what you say is true, what does it matter?»

We can't do an affirmation/confirmation if he cares or not, because what Ougai says makes us do multiple interpretations based in Yosano's reaction, his facial expression and character in general since the intention isn't 100% clear... Basically doing theories and more theories because everybody has their perspectives and own ways to interpret what happened there

Expression and feelings related

In the anime we can say Mori speaks self-confidently as if he were too superior to the others

Acting like that, he doesn't care, he doesn't even look at here

While he's just acting calm, a little grumpy maybe, fixing his clothes... The anime indicates that he cares so little about what she says that he does something else at the same time

I could add that he even looks disgusted and annoyed but I'm horrible at socializing and reading emotions-

And the scene is too different from the manga that he has his eyes closed in all the dialogue while in the manga they are open

In the manga we can't guess emotions at all since Ougai looks extremely cold! Those dark eyes, that expression, his words of not caring about the consequences, here we can do a confirmation about it

Something to add is that we can see Yosano's reaction, because in the anime we lost all of those expressions that it's so sad :(

Ougai in the manga is more cold, less expressive, gives more things to leave many to imagination

How does Mori's character work?

It's not like saying «Mori in the plot works in a specific way»... But a «Mori has this behavior that repeats a lot»

He acts when necessary, speaks and gives orders when he considers necessary, he's a rational character that is thinking most of the time (to not say all the time)

The fact is that, when he doesn't gives orders... He says things that are left to interpretation since he doesn't explain them deeply

Things that actually share the real life author, and we have seen it in many times in the manga that, since Ougai doesn't explain anything, sometimes it feels like he says something that doesn't make sense or contradicts himself

We can't deny that he's smart enough to understand, know and comprehend the impact of his words

Mori is a genius, is a fact that we can't deny... It's just that we don't compare him too much with Dazai, Ranpo and Fyodor, specially when they have more time that “we can see them being intelligent”

But if it counts as a proof... Mori was steps forward compared to Dazai, just one specific time, that Dazai ended up

Mori knows, and we have to agree that Mori is capable to do many things

Why do I say it reflects Mori's character?

The scene has specific things... That I will explain

✓Pause → The detail of Mori taking his time to think reflects his rational side that doesn't get carried away by his emotions when acting, something that we see in him a lot, that he knows what he does, is aware of this and tries to make it all work out in his "somewhat dirty way of playing"

✓Dark eyes → A fact that we forget is we don't know how he ended up being like that. He's cold He can be cold when necessary, and we can't read Mori at 100%, no matter how hard we try is like trying to understand a void that you can't see their begining and end

✓Even if that's true, so what? → Both character and author: Interpretation. The author was characterized by playing with perspectives, showing different ones, leaving things to interpretation and letting the reader draw his own conclusions from what he read... Something that is also seen in the character. You have to draw conclusions from how he acts and talks, it's hard to understand him 100%, he makes people have so many different perspectives towards him that matches his author. Ougai plays with the perspectives and emotions of the rest, the author to tell stories to the people around him, the character to act and keep on living in his world with all the danger around him, and around his organization

[sarnai4]

All In

Spoilers ahead for RTTE. I've seen and read a lot of stories, but I only have one character who's been my favorite hero and villain. That character is Dagur because he always went all in on whichever role he's supposed to play. I think the reason is that most characters are written with one particular role in mind. I've seen some who are meant to become heroes, so they never do anything too bad. They can't seem truly evil because they're eventually going to be good guys. Then, some characters have been part of that untrustworthy/villainous side for so long that even when they're supposed to be good, they do shady things that show how they're almost naturally villains. Neither of these happen with Dagur. When he's bad, he's really a villain; when he's good, he's really a hero. I love that.

I've seen mostly two opinions on Dagur. One where he's this monster who would eat kids in their nightmares and one where he's done nothing wrong. I feel like part of what makes him so amazing is that he did have both sides to him. As an antagonist, Dagur pulled no punches. He had the highest confirmed kill count of any human character. On top of who knows how many merchants he killed (since he was very ready to do that), he killed an entire island worth of Vikings. It's not just that either. He's one of the few villains who consistently tries to kill the Riders. When they were caught on the ship, he wanted to drown one of them. When he was fighting Astrid, he tried to dig an ax into her torso. He wasn't even loyal to other villains since he was constantly planning to betray them like with Alvin or the Grimborns. Villainous Dagur was threatening, unpredictable, and murderous. He was also a lot of fun, which made him my favorite baddie. Then, he pleasantly surprised me by turning good.

Dagur didn't have one of those moments where he tried to turn bad again. In all honesty, he couldn't. He'd done so many horrible things as a villain that if he ever did anything even remotely villainous again, no one would be able to forgive him. To put it into perspective, Dagur tried to sacrifice himself for everyone and STILL didn't gain all their trust. Generally, self sacrifice is kind of the most you can do, but since he didn't die, Heather was immediately suspicious of him again when she found him. It's because of everything he had done. So, to make up for how good of a villain he was, he had to be just as good a hero. Dagur became an incredibly selfless good guy.

Hiccup literally yelled that he hated him for leaving him with the Hunters (who technically had only captured the two of them because Hiccup tried to kill Dagur for supposedly poisoning Toothless) and Dagur was on his way to get Toothless to save him. When Dagur tried to sacrifice himself, he had to fight against Heather to do it. He isn't someone who needs someone to care about him back in order for him to protect them. Even in what he thought would be death, Dagur continued to try to help the Riders stop Viggo. Although the gold wasn't his, he still found it for Berk. Even though no one asked him to, he sent Berk willow bark when they didn't have any for medicine. On top of this, Dagur let Gustav (who is basically canonically hated by everyone) stay on Berserker Island at the request of Stoick. I'd say that after putting his life at risk and protecting the Riders, these other actions are necessary, but they show that the little details matter to him. I realize they matter to me too because they really showed me how much being a good person meant to Dagur. At every turn, he tried to do what he could to help his new friends. I truly respect that. He never half did anything. It makes sense. According to him, it's the Berserker way. All in, all the time. Sounds just like Dagur to me.

[lesinquietes]

Imagine Yandere Levi finding out that you once used to have a crush on him, but then he showed his Yandere side and did some horrible shit to you so now you despise him.

Yooo imagine you reach your breaking point as his captive and you’re at max capacity from all the shit he put you through. The lines have always been blurred between you and him; you were once one of his subordinates, after all. But he didn’t have to use a beating as punishment for your escape attempt. Doesn’t he understand what it’s like to feel trapped? Utterly betrayed and violated, you just let him have it one day, when he’s seething about your “bad attitude” and how he needs to “tame your ass”.

“I used to look up to you as a captain!! I used to think that you were the smartest one in all the Survey Corps!! I used to love you, for fuck’s sake!! Why did you do this to me?! Why couldn’t you have been normal?!”

And his lack of response to your outburst only serves to increase the tension. Restless, he ponders your words. He considers his treatment towards you in the past month. The realization that he drove you further away because he couldn’t read the signs that you actually liked him back is devastating.

He doesn’t say a thing. He stays out of your sight for a week. He drops off meals, water, and books for you to read, but he doesn’t speak to you. He hardly spares you a glance. It’s because he understands what he’s done — he understands, but he can’t stop.

“I can’t let you leave. It’s too dangerous out there. You can hate me all you want.”

But of course, this is merely a ploy to lure you into a false sense of security. He doesn’t expect you to hate him forever. He knows he can wear you down over time. No more violence is necessary. Manipulation was one of Kenny’s strong suits, and he taught Levi everything he knew.

[bloodgulchblog]

Thanks for answering my ask! You just made me realize how interesting Halsey. I mean I always knew she was a complex character but I haven’t really read the founding halo books since middle school(?). Anyway you have now have me utterly fascinated with her and know I must consume all content relating to her (that’s written by nyland). Sooo thanks for that! Also the scene spartan ops where she learns John’s alive is the scene that has stuck with me the longest from that mode, that followed by the prison break or the warthog run mission.

You're welcome! God, she breaks my heart now. (This ask answer just turned into a fresh outpouring of Halsey thoughts/feelings and I hope they are interesting.)

Halsey is one of the characters that I sat down and was like I need to understand what their deal is when I started really getting back into Halo. It's really easy to just hate her because, you know, she's the architect of horrible things happening to children. But especially once I started understanding the food chain of exploitation that goes on within ONI it was like oh my god. Then going back through the diary and being like wait, how old was she when the Carver findings were being discussed? How old was she when ONI started to court her?

You realize that Halsey was also so young, and they groomed her and manipulated her and preyed on her and built her in the image they found most useful. And by the time she wanted out, she was too far in and they basically held those kids hostage by threatening to hand the reins over to someone who wouldn't have cared about whether they suffered more than "necessary."

Halsey was their useful monster and had to figure out how to keep living with herself, justifying the monstrosity, and just throwing herself headlong into her work. I'm still struck by how the diary shows her feelings about Keyes, it's not in-your-face but augh. Catherine Halsey, terrifying science witch of ONI, cold and ambitious and condescending, and Jacob Keyes was a gentleman to her and trustworthy with secrets.

On a related note: Something I've thought about a lot with Halsey is that, on its face, her having Miranda does not make sense. ...But then if you turn it in your mind, suddenly it does. Halsey is a doctor in the deep space future, if she did not want to have a child she would not have a child. What did she want by that? It was obviously not to tie Keyes to her, they never married and only occasionally saw one another (even though it's obvious how much they mattered to one another.)

Rampant speculation: I don't have a canon answer to that question, but the timing (during Spartan-II) maybe speaks to Halsey wanting to prove something to herself about her own humanity vs monstrousness. Maybe, if she could raise a child well, it would prove that what she did to those other children was not the whole of her.

And in the end, her work for ONI devoured her and she did fail Miranda. She tried for six years, and in the end she sent Miranda to live with her father because she knew she was not a good mother to that child. Halsey missed Miranda and even though her daughter took after Keyes so much more than her, even though Miranda wanted nothing to do with her, we know that Halsey used what influence she had in the UNSC to try to protect Miranda from a dangerous frontline posting that could kill her.

Even though the whole My-Spartans-are-the-next-step-of-humanity thing is bullshit to me, there are some things about her late-canon characterization that do make sense to me.

Imagine how bitter it must feel, how alone she is. Halsey believed, truly believed, she was sacrificing herself to protect other people. Halsey believed that great ability came with the responsibility to spend herself for what she thought was a good cause. So she did, and now here she is: alone and hated, with nothing to show for it but regret and isolation and death while she has outlived almost everyone she ever cared for.

[luckyfrogtarot]

Choose a Chungha album

What is going on for you this blue moon?

I love chungha :’) she has such good summer songs imo also I’m so glad summer is almost over because I’m melting here 🫠

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only. Sometimes piles won’t resonate and that’s okay this reading might not be for you or the pile might not be for you. You can choose a different pile if that’s the case. ❤️🍀

This time I pulled some oracle cards for you guys!

Pile 1: Falling Angel and Empty Well

This pile has to be careful of not falling down the wrong rabbit hole. If there is something that’s calling to you but it’s not in your best interest please take time to reevaluate as to why this calls to you. You might also be feeling empty and a little out of it. You could really use some rest and some time to yourself. It’s possible that if you like to go out to party maybe opt to have a night in at least one day a week to replenish yourself instead. Talking about parties please be careful of certain people and friends who encourage you to do things that might not be in your highest good. Too much drinking or staying out too late. Nothing too horrible here, but your body wants rest and you seem to not be giving it any/much. There is definitely a feeling here of avoidance. You’re avoiding a spiritual calling and/or rest. You could be avoiding through partying or even working for some of you. (I swear I don’t hate parties, it’s just what comes to mind). Partying can be good and fun, yet I’m seeing that if it is disrupting any plans that are for your betterment you might have to start putting down some harsh boundaries with others. I’m sensing it’s mostly with others because they want to distract you. It’s not intentional and these people aren’t bad either. You could want to study or work but others might not or they have more free time so they think that you do too. Pile 1 please prioritize yourself if you’re tired. I’m feeling as if your guides are really wanting you to listen to them about rest and focusing on yourself. Sometimes you might feel it too so please take a moment when you sense this. For a few of you this could be about working too much, but I’m sensing it’s very few of you. The message still stand though; rest is required!

Pile 2: Spirit of the River (I haven’t started but you guys have such cute energy!)

You guys were definitely lucky this summer or your gonna be feeling really lucky after this blue moon. So many positive (imo) cards! I mentioned you guys had cute energy because it feels like you guys are fun and sweet when you aren’t focused on something serious. You might laugh a lot or really like cute things (sanrio or coquettish like stuff). Yet when you have some goal in your sights you guys can be very focused and determined, it’s impressive to others (including me). You could also have a fresh image, like the photo you chose. I don’t know, you guys have some really light watery energy like a clear pool. Moving on with the reading though I’m sensing that you guys might be a little resistant this season, due to confusion. You could be at a crossroads or stalemate on a lot of things in your life around this blue moon. There is movement coming soon though you just have to let it flow. A lot of blue and water symbolism here! You could have planted a seed and your waiting for it to grow. This seed could have been anything from a career move to even romance. You just have to water it everyday and it’ll grow. In a literal sense you just have to put in work everyday (even if it’s just a little bit) so you can see the plant growing, slowly but surely. I am sensing that once you finish the work that was necessary you should go out and play a bit. I’m sensing being around water will be great. Going to the beach or a pond or a pool. You do need some fun distractions. (This is like the opposite of pile 1) It will distract you from the seed you planted or in other words: your work, project or romantic interest. You might need time to focus on other stuff that brings you joy and to let things flow. If you are always checking up every minute or every hour on your seed/plant you’ll think “why isn’t it growing?”. That’s because the plant still needs time and work put into it! It will grow soon enough pile 2! Give it time and love and don’t forget to give yourself time and love too. You’re moving towards your success regardless don’t forget that. I really hope that metaphor made sense pile 2!

Pile 3: Eye of the Needle

Pile 3 you guys are going to be getting a big opportunity that you’ve been waiting for! Something that you felt was almost like a dream or so far away is coming towards you. It feels like when it does come in you’ll think it’s luck or fate. It partially could be fate, but I’m sensing it’s more your perseverance and hard work. You could’ve been working really hard to get this opportunity and you never took your eyes off of it and now you’re getting it. It was due to your hard work pile 3 don’t undermine yourself! Lot’s of gold and yellow in this pile. You even have the Sun card here. A lot of sun imagery in the other cards too! Maybe you feel hopeful that things are getting better for you. Like this triumphant feeling mixed with being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I do think whatever you’re pursuing or whatever opportunity you have is going to be successful. With the Seven of Wands here,to me, that reaffirms that you definitely worked day and night to get this opportunity. This is an exciting emotion coming through. I’m also hearing “it’s smooth sailing from here on out” I don’t know if that’s how the saying really goes but the point is that your hard work has allowed this for you. It’s as if you made a boat by scratch (and a good one at that) so now all you have to do is sail it. The waters are calm and there is also enough breeze to keep you going. There is an intensity to you and maybe in your eyes. Either this is the look you have when you think about your success or your future. Or this a feature you might naturally have at all times. You’re very strong willed though that’s for sure. I’m seeing that if you feel like no one is proud of you or of your success/accomplishments or of this opportunity you’d be mistaken. It’s possible people here aren’t showing their amazement, but without a doubt your guides do acknowledge all your hard work. They’ve been watching you and helping you out and they’re very proud of you 🥺. I also feel such a warm feeling in my chest so this could be how you’re feeling or how you should feel! You have a right to feel proud of yourself too pile 3 :).

[spicyclover]

Ultimatum | Part four

Summary: You give Charles an ultimatum. His apartment or you.  

Part one | Part two | Part three | Part four | Part five

Hope you’ll enjoy this part. Let me know in the comments section! And to support me by tipping me!

Little information, I will, for now, only post on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Thank you, and Enjoy! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

WARNING: All the information in this text is pure fiction, and the names and addresses are strictly fictive. I’m not a lawyer also, so I’m sorry if the procedure isn’t exact or conventional. Please bear with me.

It was only on the morning of Christmas Eve, the 24th, that you received a notification from your lawyer.

You opened your email, and what you saw left you speechless. 

Y/n Y/L/N

24 Av. de la Costa

Monte-Carlo, Monaco, 98000

December 24th 2022

To the honourable avocat 

Mr.Charles Leclerc applies for full custody of the child he made with Y/n Y/L/N. At the child's birth, he applied for full custody due to the unstable actions of the named companion. He asks for a no permission for the mother to have contact with the child once it is born. This motion is under inspection by Judge Carpinelli. He asks the child's mother to report to the court of Monaco for a session on 24 January. Meanwhile, a request to contact the doctor in charge of the pregnancy and in progress. Mr. Charles Leclerc also requests access to the accused's address to obtain the necessary documents for this procedure. Given the information above, my client is asking the court to order the child to live with him full-time without authorized contact with the mother. He also requests compensation for the emotional damage your client put him through. 

Sincerely  Lawyer Felipe Rossi.  

“What the fuck?” You gasp, trying to understand what's in front of you. 

You read the email several times before you understand what it means. He wants to take away your parental rights. “How can he do that?” The little device that control your level of stress starts going on. 

“Honey, what’s going on?” Question your mother worried about your sudden change of mood and the biping starting.

You don’t have the strength to speak and give her your laptop. She takes several minutes to process what she’s reading. “How could he do that?”

“He’s asking for full custody.” She mumbles under her breath. 

“He can’t do that.” Your voice breaks, trying to make sense of this whole situation. 

You didn’t think it would go that far. You suddenly feel betrayed and out of control. All your choices come back to you and all the conversations you’ve had with him, too.

“Well, apparently, he can.” Your mother adds given her husband the computer for him to read. “Since you refuse to let him be the father.”

“I do not deny that he is the father; I just don’t want to be around him right now.”

“Will you let him be around when the baby is born?” Ask your mother. 

“I... I don’t know. He hurts me, mom.” You burst into tears. 

“I know. But he’s powerful, and he has a lot of contacts.”

“Oh, my god...” This situation is going out of control, and your breathing quickens. This whole thing is starting to become a nightmare, and you didn’t think he was capable of that much cruelty.

A panic attack invades you, and you start to hyperventilate, unable to calm down. You begin to get dizzy, and your parents try to help you, at least they can, but impossible. How can he do that to you? After all, he did. He’s the one who slept with that girl. He’s the one who didn’t listen to you. He’s the one who didn’t want your comfort. He’s... he’s... horrible.

You start walking like a lion in a cage, your breathing gets overwhelmed, and you faint. The bipping going crazy. 

Charles can’t believe what he just did. All his dark thoughts and those around him encourage him to take up this voice. He knows it’s wrong, and he’s the wrong one. Why is he doing this? He doesn’t even know himself. Everyone’s rocking in his head, and he can’t back down.

The letter was sent, and his lawyer was notified. A sense of shame takes hold, and he can’t even look at himself in the mirror in his lawyer’s waiting room.

You wake up an hour later and calm down. Your thoughts gather, and you manage to sort without being overwhelmed. You gradually regain control of yourself. You feel your little girl agitating in your belly and caressing it distractedly. Feeling her close to you reassures you.

You find yourself alone in your room looking out the window at the seagulls flying. The sound of the ocean soothes you and you feel your tension return. The little bip machine the doctor gave you on your last visit to control your stress is slowing down again. The bip stops and you go downstair. 

You decided to call him on your mother's cellphone.

“Hello?” You hear his voice for the first time in weeks, and tear fills your eyes. “Hello? Who’s this?”

“Charlie...?”

“Y/n? It’s you?”

“Charlie, why do you do this to us?”

“Mon Dieu, babe, where are you? Are you okay?”

“Why do you keep doing this to us?” You cry on the phone, unable to breathe correctly and you device going on again. 

“Amour, where are you? Are you alone? What’s that bip? Are you in danger?” He asks panicking a little. 

“You hurt me, and I have to pay the consequence. You can’t do that to me.”

“Y/n, you took my child with you.”

“She’s still in me, you idiot. Of course, she has to go where I go.” You snap, getting frustrated by him. 

“Hey, you’re the one who disappeared, not me. I did not leave in the middle of the night without any warning or information.” He yells through the phone, frustrated to not have you with him. 

“You’re the one who jeopardizes our relationship, sleeping with other girls, humiliating me in front of everybody and screaming at me in the middle of the fucking street. And I’m the one who’s making mistakes here? You’re insane.” You scream back, your mother forcing you to seat down. 

“Fuck, you don’t realize how worried I am when I discover you were gone, and none of your friends didn’t know where you were either. You just disappear, and then you text my assistant a week before Christmas and not even me.” 

“Do you think it’s easy for me to deal with all of this alone?”

“Hey! You’re the one who left.”

“Because I’m mad at you. Not because I stop loving you.” You says calming down again. 

“You...”

“I love you. I love everything about you, Charles. But you keep hurting me and making mistakes that force me to band my moral to go around it. What happened with that girl? Was she worth jeopardizing our relationship? I’m so mad and in pain. You put me there, and now you don’t want me to be around my child, the one I’m carrying. The one you didn’t want at the beginning of all this. You can’t do this to me. Not after everything you did.”

“I...”

“I don’t want to talk anymore. I'll see you on the 24th.” You hang up the phone tossing it across the room. You apologize to your mother realizing you just destroy her phone, but she just shush you out of the room to your bedroom to get some rest. Real rest. 

You cried for hours this afternoon, trying to figure everything out. After the tears came depression, and then, and only after that, came the anger. You were mad. No, furious. You know all this didn’t come from him but from his mom. You know she will do anything to protect her son and take responsibility for his actions. 

You spend your entire Christmas Day in bed, unable to move or speak. You didn’t want to eat but forced yourself for your baby girl. Every time you rub your belly, you miss the touch of Charles on it. You miss him more than anything, but you wanted to prove to him and yourself that you didn’t need him. 

You made an effort to eat with your family the night of Christmas. Everyone tried to cheer you up, but something was broken in you. You really lost him, and you really lost Charles. All this drama put so much pressure on you that the same night, you start bleeding. 

You decided not to take any chance and went to the hospital. Right away, they took charge of you. You waited hours for the doctors to give you news, but nothing. You weren’t surprised because you were the 25th and everybody was celebrating with their family, but all this wait made you worried even more. 

Charles was with his family having dinner when his phone rang. 

“Hello?” 

“Charles, Charles Leclerc?” Ask your mother.

“Yes?”

“Y/M/N, Y/n mother. Y/n is in the hospital.” She says straight to the point.

“What?” 

“She’s in the hospital. She was losing blood, and we went directly to check it out. I’m not supposed to be calling you right now, and she didn’t want to worry you. But you’re the father and she loves, misses you very much.” She explains herself off tone. 

“Where are you?” 

“I’m not sure, she wants to see you, Charles.”

“I’m her boyfriend and the father. I'm coming. Tell me which hospital!” He orders directly, not missing this opportunity. 

“Centre hospitalier de la Côte Basque.” She hangs up the phone after whispering the information.

“She’s in France. All this time, she was this close,” he thinks, hanging up the phone. He rushes inside and excuses himself to everyone before taking his coat and leaving promptly. 

Charles didn’t waste any minute, and he drove for hours. He arrives at at 4 am the morning at the destination, and he barely parks his car and rushes inside. Almost screaming at the receptionist to find out where you are. 

You are in your room, sleeping with your mother stocking your head gently. After crying, you finally fell asleep. Breathing finally normally, you weren’t dreaming, and it was better this way. 

Charles sprint through the corridor before finding your room. He takes the time to catch his breath before passing a hand in his hair. He opened the door carefully. Your father gets up from his chair and grabs him by the collar the minute he walks in. 

“You have some nerve coming here after what you did to her, you piece of shit.” 

“I... I’m sorry.” 

“Y/F/N, let him go.” Speaking up, your mother, getting up and taking her husband's arm. 

Your father took several minutes before releasing his grip and walking away. 

“She’s sleeping right now. They sedated her.” 

“Is she okay? And the baby?” 

“Like you care about her,” pester your father, sitting back in his chair.

“I do...”

“Oh really, when?”

“I know. I didn’t want this to happen, so I messed up. But I love her. I really do.” 

You start to wake up. Wriggles in the hospital bed. You sight, trying to vanish the vapour of the drug. 

You slowly opened your eyelids, trying to get used to daylight. Still unaware of the atmosphere in the room, you moan, trying to change position. Your catheter hurts, and you blow a good blow before opening your eyes.

You search for your mother, but your eyes fall on Charles, who approaches you.

“Charles?” 

“Oui, mon amour.” He says, taking place next to you.

To be continued... 

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