#it’s just make me anxious/worried that i’ve upset people

[sammypog]

i am THIS CLOSE to deleting all my social media apps at least temporarily it’s shit for my mental health and i know it

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

The Grail War poll blog is a lot of fun but yeah some people are being kind of annoying about it. (Not you I'm just speaking in general). No one's died yet either so at least there's that.

I hadn’t really thought abt it when I started but I guess that my blog might be more ‘influential’ just in the sense that I actually make stuff for the guy I want to win so people who follow me that don’t participate in the war otherwise might vote for him just bc I’m always posting about him

But like that doesn’t mean other people can’t do things for the side they want to win to drum up interest? Like where’s the memes and such for caster and rider and saber??? Ik not everyone can draw but we can all dick around in a meme editor right-I feel like a jerk being the only one to make any sort of propaganda for my fav bc it makes me worried I’m being obnoxious and making people resent him for being ‘popular’ when it’s less that and more one person massively hyperfixating on him

[theautisticwriter]

Love Letters: Yandere! Helluva Boss characters X G/N Reader

Characters- Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Asmodeus, Fizzarolli

Show- Helluva Boss

Genre- romantic, yandere

Summary- Mini love letters from your not so secret stalkers admirers!

Warnings- swearing, pet names, yandere themes, mentions of planned kidnapping, stalking, delusional characters, unwanted attention

Word count- 1.5K

Extra notes- I have a Hazbin Hotel version of this uploaded as well!

key: f/l = first letter of your name, y/n = your name, n/n = your nickname

———————————————————

By this point you know who it is y/n, I’m the only person COOL enough to send u romantic as fuck letters like the old people do

Sorry for eating the food u made last night, when i was raiding ur fridge it looked so fucking good (and it was, who knew u could cook :P). i left u a pony as a replacement, u can’t eat it but it’ll make u think of me ;) and that pony cost me a FUCK ton of money, collectors addition and shit. i know, bad fucking ass right??

the stupid shitty loud alarm u installed didn’t work when i came in, ud be much safer with me and loony. that’s the plan anyways babe, u have NO idea the fucking creeps that live down here, they’re all fucking animals and ur…not, a fucking asshole i guess.

i drew you smth (it’s the thing stuck on the back of the envelope with the glitter glu)

^glue

it’s me and u holding hands, like other couples do. we’re better than those corny fuckers tho, hence the crowns on our heads.

ignoring my texts, BLOCKING ME (still upset about this BY THE WAY) and then ignoring my very nice letters is kinda a dick move f/l, but it’s whatevs. everything is almost ready for ur move in. i cleaned up n everything :D

from the only bitch worth ur time,

blitzø

<3 (ignore that, moxxie threw a gun at me and my hand slipped, might fire him)

———————————————————

Hiya sweet cheeks!!!

It’s Mills here, just checking in! Via letter! Ain’t that just the fanciest little thing? Mox said it’s the best way to show thought and care to someone, so here’s all my thoughts and care, just for you!

How’ve you been? Good I hope, I’ve been just peachy thanks for asking! My Ma and Pa are super excited to meet ya one day, they’ve even started planning the wedding! Now I told them to slow their horses down, and not the overwhelm ya, we’ll get to that don’t you worry darlin.

Im just so excited to write this letter for you! Ain’t it so romantic?? I’m practically squealing in delight at the thought of you opening this and swoonin’, that’s what you’re doing, right?

Now i’m writing this on my break, and my boss really needs me back in the game! I got employ of the month! Most amount of kills, with the best and bloodiest results baby!

Until next time sweetheart,

Your Mills! ♡

———————————————————

Hi y/n,

It’s Moxxie here, I was a little nervous to send this letter to you, but I always try to follow my heart, and my heart was telling me to communicate with you in the most romantic way I know how due to our current circumstances of being so far away. It’s hard, for the both of us i’m sure, but we’ll be okay y/n.

As much as I don’t get along with my father, he has been helpful with my preparations for your arrival. It’s a big deal, moving in together. I’m sure your anxious, I am too, but in the best way possible. Love is pure, and can make somebody feel whole, it’s a wonderful feeling. I never want that to be taken away from me, and you are the source of all my love. That’s why we need to be together, being only half a demon isn’t good for the soul.

We can do lots of fun things together as well, like go to the opera, or to musicals, or I can show you my shooting skills. My boss says that I have a pretty good shot, which is the biggest compliment he’s ever given me. And we can do things you like too, marriage is equal of course. Obviously, this will all happen later done the line, you’ll need time to adjust, and I understand that. I understand you.

I’m running out of room on my page, but I will write to you again tomorrow. Please respond? Just once, y/n? It’d be nice, to hold something from you since I can’t hold you yet.

All my love,

Your Moxxie <3

———————————————————

Uh, hi?

Wait, you don’t put ‘uh’ in letters do you? Or put wait whilst you think, fuck shit fuck

Sorry, I’m new to this. Normally I just send a text to people but, your phone is off at the moment I think? Or you lost it? Or you blocked me?

Either way, I’ll send you these stupid letter things until it’s back on. So, uh, what are you up to? Blitz has been up my ass about meeting you, heads up, when I come get you and bring you to our room he’s gonna go all psycho dad mode and integrate you, but he’ll back off after a while. He’s a dick sure, but he does want me to be happy. And your, likeable or whatever, so i’m sure you’ll get along.

Once you get comfortable at home with me, Blitz said you could work with me at I.M.P. You’ll be like the co-secretary or something. You won’t be put in danger, I won’t let that happen, you’ll just get to sit with me. We can watch things together, if you wanted.

I guess i’ll see you soon, how do you end these?

See you,

Love from,

Regards?

Bye y/n,

Loona.

———————————————————

My dearest y/n,

I hope this letter finds you well. I yearn for your presence here, besides me. It’s quite lonely without you, I will admit my dear. It would be oh so wonderful if you could write back. I understand you may be preoccupied with your current activities, but I can’t help myself from desiring a response. I know, it’s selfish of me to expect you to reply to my letters when you’ll be here with me shortly, but I can’t keep my thoughts at bay at the moment.

Your face is a constant in my mind, night and day, asleep and awake, your voice in my mind calms me when I need it most, your smile brightens the bleariest of moments and so on. You can imagine the difficulties I’m facing with no response from you, but that’s alright. If you can’t write back to me dear, I won’t pressure you. Your time is precious, and we will have all the time in hell quite soon. Isn’t that exciting?

I can give you the life you deserve n/n, any luxuries or mundanities you wish for will be handed to you on a silver platter. Or a golden one, if that’s more to your liking? We can properly discuss the specifics once we are together. How thrilling, the though of you and I together at last.

We truly are written in the stars!

Yours until the end of the sky and then some,

Stolas.

———————————————————

Hey there baby,

It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry if you feel neglected babe, it’s so hard keeping in contact with you when you’re so far away hun. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you were here with me? Sure I’ve got a lot of meetings, being a sin and all, but I’d be at your beck and call n/n, you could even be my new excuse to leave those awful “business” discussions. They barely talk business with me, it’s just complete bullshit babe.

I know the lust ring can be intimidating, we have quite the reputation, but I assure you, love is not a foreign concept to me. Romance is one of my most favourite things! Though that’s a secret, let’s keep that between us, yeah? That side of me is reserved for you n/n.

It’s so boring over here without you, I feel like i’m just lounging around and last time I checked, I was the lust sin, not the sloth sin. We’d have so much fun together babe! Can’t you picture it? Even if you can’t yet, I can wait. Having you near me will be enough, you are enough just as you are.

Sincerely yours,

Asmodeus (Ozzie) xoxo

———————————————————

Heya cutie!

Letters are a lot harder to write than I thought they’d be y’know? I’ve rewritten this like 16 times already, sheesh. It just feels so awkward, I can’t see your reaction to my words which means I can’t fix any mistakes I’ve made :(. I’m sure I haven’t made any though! Right? This letters going really well so far and is definitely wooing you, right, y/n?

Hah, I’m asking questions as if you can reply right away. Silly old me, I don’t know what i’m worrying about! We’re meant to be together. I know it’s super sappy, but we’re like soulmates. Soulmates are bound to be together! That’s why I’m bringing you home soon, I can’t wait! I’ve got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many awesome tricks to show you!

And, the best news, I quit my job!! ༘⋆-ˋˏ ༘⋆-ˋˏ This means, we will have a LOT more time with each other, and you don’t have to worry about Mammon being possessive over me, because fuck him! I’m my own clown! Or, well, your clown.

I can’t wait to see you! This is going to be great for us, I pinky promise :P

Love from,

Fizzarolli !!!! ༘⋆!!,-!ˋˏ!!!

———————————————————

[norman-fucking-reedus]

Not really a sexual request but… thoughts on Daryl coming home upset? Like genuinely hurting over something or anxious about something. Personally I think Daryl would have some level of anxiety that every now and then can get bad so maybe something happens with that? Idk I just love your writing and wanna see your take on sad Daryl🫶🏻

UGHH I’ve been CRAVING some sad Daryl for a while I have this idea of Daryl having a mental break where he isolates himself from everyone because he has no clue how to properly communicate his feelings so instead he decides to stay in his own space and silently drown to death alone in his own thoughts.

Normalize holding adult men like babies because obviously thats what they are

I feel like lately my writing has been kinda bad?? 🧍🏾‍♀️Maybe this is just too short idk but something is OFF.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

It had been two weeks since Daryl locked himself and your heart in the basement.

He needed some space, that much was obvious, but the worrying started the first week when Daryl didn’t touch the plates of food you or Carol would leave outside the door. He never left the room, never made a sound either. If it weren’t for the years of a living in an apocalypse, you would’ve thought he was dead.

Daryl felt dead, his bone weighing heavy with emotion and anger he just didn’t know how to get out. Years of bottling up everything now seeped through his grimy skin, mind running two miles a minute as his hands fisted his greasy matting hair.

He almost felt like a teenager again, rotting away feeling sorry for himself in bed while internal screaming at himself because lord knows he couldn’t do it vocally. He pushed everyone away, he needed to. Nobody needed to see him like this. Nobody needed to deal with him like this. Nobody needed to help him like this.

Daryl knew you and Carol left food outside his door, but he felt like he didn’t deserve to eat. Didn’t deserve to drink. He didn’t wanna open the door one day and see one of you standing there with a pitiful look on your face. He didn’t need pity.

He also didn’t need the jarring sound of pounding at said door. “Go ‘way” He mumbled, but instead the door creaked open, softly shutting. Maybe he should learn how to use a lock.

“Daryl” You voice was soft against his burning ears, however he felt a twinge of anger surge through him. “Get out. Don’t need anythin” He pushed himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed and only glancing over at where you stood with your arms tightly folded. “It’s been weeks”

He knows. “So? Gonna be another weeks too, now leave” You stood firmly in place, not budging.

Daryl screamed at himself for trying to throw you out, you of all people. Only his internal monologue didn’t match the one coming out his mouth. “Dammit woman I told ya ta leave!”

You stared at him silently, taking a few steps towards him and not faltering when he stood up, merely inches from your face. “Don’ need ya in here feelin’ fuckin’ sorry makin’ me feel worse”

“Well if it makes you feel any shitter I feel sorry for you inside and outside the door” You shrugged up at him, looking at him with a more causal expression than anything. “Why are you pushing me away Dixon?” Daryl bared his teeth at the question, angry at himself cause he didn’t know why. “Why’re ya in here?”

“That’s not answering my question” You scoffed, and Daryl turned to frustrated kick the night stand. “I don’ hafta answer tha’ stupid fuckin’ question! Why can’ ya jus’ leave me tha’ fuck alone?” He began pacing around the room, trying to put distance between the two of you continued to stubbornly close it. “Because I give a shit? You don’t get to suffer in here alone because think you deseve it”

You shoved Daryl’s chest, and surprisingly he shoved back, tears burning hot in his eyes. “Why not?!”

Your face softened and you grabbed Daryl’s hands, holding them tightly in yours. “Fucking stop!” He tried pulling himself out your grip, shaking his head as more traitorous tears spilled. Daryl grunted as you pulled his arms towards you, causing him to stumble which gave you the opening to finally capture him in a tight hug. “Get offa me” He mumbled even as his body desperately melted against yours. “It’s okay sweetheart” You whispered the words and walked backwards, lying on the bed when the back of your knees hit the mattress.

“Ya shouldn’t- Ya shouldn’t see me like this” Daryl buried his face in the crook of your neck, feeling an unfamiliar lump form in his throat. He no longer felt anger, but saddness. He was sad, so sad that he didn’t know what do to other then straying away. His chest hurt, and he felt so vulnerable in your arms that he just exploded, body shaking as sobs racked through him. “I’m here now babyboy, it’s okay” You, quite literally, tangled your fingers into his hair, soothingly scratching the scalp as Daryl’s tears ran down your skin and soaked your shirt.

It hurt so bad yet felt so good to finally, finally let it all out.

You moved to sit up against the wall, bringing Daryl along with you and positioning him to lay across against your shoulder, brushing hair out his red as he sniffled. You wiped his tears with your hand, staring down lovingly at him as you stroked his cheek. “Tell me what's hurting you” You whispered, listening to his soft whimpers and snotty sniffles. Daryl leaned his head against you, eyes flickering up to meet yours as he searched your face. He felt so grateful to have someone like you, caring about someone like him.

“Jus’ everythin” He whispered back.

You kissed his forehead, letting your lips linger there. “Anything in particular?”

Daryl shook his head, soaking up every ounce of attention you gave him. Each tear was wiped away by soft fingers, followed by a gentle kiss.

For the first time, Daryl felt like a little kid, huddled up sweetly in your arms as you ran your hands across his back, slowly rocking his frail frame.

He cried harder than he ever has, muffling sobs into to the fabric of your shirt. You only stroked his hair and told him that it was all okay.

And he believed you.

Daryl could physically feel the love radiating off you, seeping through his clothes and filing his weakened body.

It was so peaceful in the room beside from Daryl’s sniffing, he felt like you were the only people left on earth. As he glanced up at you through clumped lashes, he wished that you were.

“M’sorry” He mumbled.

You quirked a bow. “For what?”

“Fer pushin’ you”

“Away or earlier?” Daryl shook his head slightly.

“Both” He responded.

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Ugh. I guess I forgive you”

Daryl cracked a small smile, one of his fidgety hands reaching for yours. His fingers were cold compared to yours.

“I love you” You whispered, squeezing his hand in yours.

He searched your face, eyes glassy as they once again filled up with tears. “I- I love ya too”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

[halemerry]

hii first of all, i absolutely love your metas on GO s2! your breakdown of the last few minutes of ep6 was really insightful and i love you for your meta about aziraphale and his role as a protector - it is a very astute look into his character and motivations which not a lot of people acknowledge in their theories/speculation after s2.

more to the point of this ask: this is something i've been mulling over and is the only thing that still doesn't make sense to me in ep6. why is crowley so nonchalant, or at least not noticeably worried, about the metatron showing up to the bookshop (a space he is very protective of) and taking aziraphala away for a talk after aziraphale has already been threatened by micheal? throughout the whole season crowley has been extremely protective over aziraphale and is very much aware of the real danger he is in (re: the book of life). this is also right after crowley has returned from heaven and has learned what the metatron was willing to do to gabriel to ensure 'institutional integrity' and that much bigger plans were afoot. i find it hard to wrap my head around his calm demeanor when the metatron enters the scene and takes aziraphale away, even if it's supposedly for a harmless talk. i wonder if you have any thoughts/speculation about this?

(opps this got too long and rambling). i would love to hear your thought but ofc please don't feel pressured to answer :) love your posts about the season and i look forward to reading more from you. have a lovely day!

Hi!! Thank you so much! This ask has had me by the throat basically since you sent it. It sort of touches on some things I already wanted to write about so forgive me if this spirals a bit.

So in a lot of ways I think this is a question that can have a one word answer. But since I do wanna talk about the way the show gives us this answer I actually want to start with Nina. Specifically I want to start with the thing she tells Crowley as Aziraphale’s off with the Metatron.

“You’re the hard bitten one that can’t trust anyone ever again and Mr. Wherever He Is is the soft one that still believes in magic people being basically good and all that."

I’ve talked a little bit about this line before in my meta about the build up to the Confession here because I think it’s important to view from the perspective of how it preps Crowley for the following conversation he’s about to have. But, aside from that, I think it's really important because it's wrong. Nina is describing herself here, not Crowley. She’s projecting her own issues onto him and Aziraphale in the way that she perceives herself relating to them. Crowley himself is actually the one that calls out her trust issues for what they are explicitly. 

Nina doesn’t trust and she sees herself in Crowley far more than Aziraphale both in demeanor and aesthetic so she assumes he doesn’t trust either. But she has it backwards. Because Crowley isn’t hard bitten as much as someone who tries very hard to be perceived as such. And, most importantly in this specific context, Crowley actually trusts quite a bit.

And he nearly always has. Even as far as back as the Starmaker.

Just look at the way that the Starmaker and Aziraphale both talk about interacting with God. Aziraphale is nervous, anxious and pretty much immediately clocks that what the angel that would become Crowley is saying is going to get him into trouble. But the Starmaker? Even upset about the information he’s been given, he remains confident in the fact that it can’t hurt to ask a few questions. He trusts there to be no consequence for expressing an objection. He trusts that his opinion is valued. Even if he ends up wrong here there’s no inclination at all that he thinks his words will be taken inappropriately. And even the Fall itself doesn’t burn this out of him.

We see him trust Aziraphale, the cherub who was supposed to be guarding Eden from things like him, not to smite him on sight. And trusts him enough to not only have a conversation but express his own worries about his own actions. He then approaches Aziraphale like a friend at the Flood and makes no attempt to censor his horror at what is happening there.

Job is the first time we see Crowley act in a way that implies mistrust between them. This is the first time they’ve met since the Flood which I suspect is contributing to his reluctance to be honest with Aziraphale here. They fall into their roles and then very rapidly fall out of them. The fact Azriaphale reaches out to Crowley here is important. As is the moment where Crowley asks Aziraphale if he’s sure. After Aziraphale more or less agrees to be all in something changes. Crowley is surprisingly honest about his view on the world, mostly trusting Aziraphale not to use it against him. He places himself in front of a host of angels, trusting that Aziraphale would not expose him. And then later he’s even more honest, admitting to Aziraphale he’s lonely in an attempt to show solidarity.

The entire Arrangement could not exist without them trusting each other. Crowley’s pushing at Aziraphale’s boundaries is a constant exercise in trusting that Aziraphale will come around eventually - or that he at the very least isn’t about to weaponize the treacherous things Crowley is saying against him. As early as 1601 we see Aziraphale voicing active concern for Crowley's well being. We then see Crowley actively trust Aziraphale with both their safeties in 1941 - whether it’s trusting Azriaphale to save them from the bomb about to drop on them or trusting Aziraphale’s trust in him to not accidentally discorporate him during the bullet catch. They even explicitly talk about their mutual trust in this year during their shades of gray conversation.

During Armageddon Crowley shows up trusting that Aziraphale will help him fix this and once Aziraphale agrees never once seems to consider the idea that Aziraphale would hide anything from him (even when Aziraphale is actively doing so).

He also critically knows that Aziraphale tried to reach God and got himself discorporated as a consequence. And likely specifically knows that Aziraphale talked to the Metatron and came away from that conversation realizing that Heaven would not help him. It's worth noting whether Crowley knows this bit or not that in this conversation Aziraphale not only explicitly questions the Metatron's authority but also uses the conversation to extract information from the Metatron.

Aziraphale leaves this conversation with an active lie to the Metatron and attempts to call Crowley to tell him everything he knew. He then continually chooses Crowley over Heaven. They pick their own side and help stop the world from ending.

And then, all season, Aziraphale keeps proving that the trust Crowley has always had in him is well earned. Aziraphale, even more than Crowley himself, brings up ideas of 'us' and 'our side' and 'our car'.

Aziraphale openly talks negatively of Heaven. Not only does he agree with Crowley's disbelief that Heaven managed to stay in charge sending people like Muriel down, but he even goes a step further, implying that they perhaps never had control over earth in that way.

He also, most critically, immediately and without hesitation, tries to turn down the Metatron's offer to even have a conversation. Aziraphale, who has also just brought a group of archangels to order, reaffirms his lack of interest in Heaven right then and there in front of Crowley. Right when the Metatron has reaffirmed the threat of the Book of Life is out of play.

Crowley trusts Aziraphale. He always has. And more than ever lately Aziraphale has given him proof that he doesn't have to worry about where he allegiances lay.

But. It's also worth noting. I don't think Crowley is as chill as he maybe seems like he is. Yes, he's sprawled out and speaking casually here, but to some degree this is a bit of posturing. He's playing it cool and also not encroaching on the control Aziraphale has managed to wrangle on this situation. But he also doesn't just let them wander off either. As soon as they hit the door, Crowley is out of the chair and walking to the front of the shop to watch them leave through the window. He's keeping tabs as they walk away.

He then banishes Muriel and promptly starts to clean. Now I'm always a little wary to mix Book and Show canon, but I do think his cleaning of the bookshop (as well as him carrying around stacks of books while babysitting Jim) are manifestations of Book!Crowley's tendency to want to stress clean. He's keeping himself busy and gets done too quickly then promptly glances at his watch before throwing himself into the chair with a frustrated noise. He's anxious and stressed the entire time Aziraphale is out of his line of sight.

In other words, Crowley's not actually as calm as he's presenting himself to be. He's trying to take that nervous energy out in a way that doesn't conflict with giving Aziraphale agency. Because he trusts his angel. And that in part is why it hits him so hard when it all blows up in his face.

[reidspharb]

part two on the angst spencer reid (happy ending if u want) 🤞🤞

How You Get The Girl

*Part two to The moment I knew

Summary: After four days of no calls, Spencer tries his hardest to fix things with you

Word count: 1.14k

Warnings: angst, fluff, lead by pure vibes idk

Note: idk whats with me and writing at ungodly hours of the night but this one was written mostly at like 1am so any errors are due to sheer sleep deprivation! also thank you so much to anon who submitted this it was really nice to give this little story a happy ending :) also first anon ask super cool on enough of this now.

It had been 3 days 2 hours and 43 minutes since you had last spoken to Spencer. He knew because he couldn’t stop thinking about that short exchange, how you were so upset you didn’t even let him explain. 

Spencer couldn’t stop staring at his phone, picking it up every few minutes, maybe I missed the notifications he told himself.

The truth was, he knew he fucked up and he knew he hurt you and missing that party was the worst decision he had made in a long time. 

Thinking about you had consumed him so much that he found it hard to complete his work. He never used his phone at work, unless he needed to call someone for something work-related.

Of course, working with a group of profilers, people began to pick up this odd behaviour. The first to notice was his best friend JJ. 

She immediately recognized his anxious demeanour, but she just didn’t know why. After a while, she ruled out problems with his mother, and that didn’t really leave many options.

Spencer didn’t have many friends - at least that they knew of- and most likely didn’t have a girlfriend either, so what was it?

JJ approached him after their round table meeting on a case just a few miles west of Quantico. 

“Hey, Spence,” she sighed settling her hands on her hips.

“What’s up JJ?” He replied, obviously trying to act as normal and natural as possible, but it wasn’t really working. 

“Nothing, I was just wondering how you’re doing,” Immediately Spencer blushed, obviously embarrassed that his co-workers were noticing his new habits “You just seem… off. Worried. Is everything alright?”

Spencer had tried to hide his shame but clearly, it wasn’t working and he just couldn’t keep it all contained anymore. 

“No, I-“ he sighed and looked down at his feet, trying to decide what to say next. Jennifer didn’t even know about his girlfriend, how would she react knowing he hid that from her all this time and also did such a heartbreaking thing to an innocent girl.

He faked a laugh and a dull smile, “No, JJ everything’s fine! I've just been a little anxious because,” he swallowed and tried to come up with a lie as realistic and believable as possible, “I’ve just been awaiting an interview for this teaching job at Virginia Tech, and uh, they haven’t told me the date yet.” He said in a nonchalant tone, praying that JJ wouldn’t push harder.

She obviously knew he was lying, the guy was a genius but he wasn’t a very good liar. Even though she knew there was something deeper, she thought if he wanted her help, he would be honest. 

“Oh, cool! I’m sure you’ll get that response soon.” She said cheerfully before walking away and clearing the conversation out of her brain.

After the fourth day had passed Spencer knew he had to do something to make this right, the regret had nearly swallowed him whole. 

When he got off work, he drove over to the closet flower shop and purchased a rather large bouquet of your favourite flowers. He remembered when you told him that a bouquet of flowers was always the best apology.

To go along with your flowers, he purchased you a birthday card, to make up for missing the party. It was a rather cute thing, with a pop-up kitten inside, he knew you would love it even if you didn’t say it. 

He scrawled a short birthday wish into the card before starting up his car and heading in the direction of your home. 

As he drove towards your house in the darkness and rain he couldn’t help but worry about what would happen when he arrived. Would you be so angry you would throw it all in a puddle? Or would you welcome and forgive him and this would all be over. Of course, he hoped for the latter, but he would understand if you were upset by seeing his face again.

Once he had arrived, his heart raced as he stepped out of the car and headed towards the front door. When he walked up the stairs, already wet from the rain, he thought of the first time he ever strolled up those short steps and your first kiss standing right there in front of your front door.

He rapped on the door two times fast and two times slow, just like he always did. He could feel himself nearly shivering as his hands just about vibrated while he waited in that infinitely long moment for you to open the door.

He heard the chain on your door unlock and as the door swung open, he saw your face. Your tear-stained, puffy, red face. Seeing you like this almost brought tears to his own eyes.

The way you looked at him ate at him from the inside.

You sighed and looked him up and down, inspecting the flowers he was holding.

“Oh my god, Spencer. Are you insane?” You practically shrieked when you realized he was standing outside your door at 9 PM in the pouring rain. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have called first before I just showed up, but I nearly lost my mind missing you.” He said truthfully. “I was just too afraid to see you and tell you that what I did was so fucking stupid and I just really h-“

Just like you had on the phone those few days ago, you cut him off, but instead of with a snarky remark, with a hug. You nearly jumped into his arms. You didn’t care if you got wet or if the flowers got ruined, you just wanted to feel him. 

After the lengthy embrace, you let your boyfriend in. He gave you your flowers and your, now wet, card and made you both tea while you placed them in a large glass vase.

The two of you sat down on the couch and you let him explain this time, fully explain. You could feel his remorseful aura, and even though what he did sucked, you didn't care anymore, you were just so happy to have him with you.

After your long discussion, you ate leftover cake, then celebrated your birthday by binging your favourite tv shows and remembering old memories.

The following morning, Reid decided to move in with you, telling you he never wanted to be away from you at a time like that again. He hung up framed photos of you all over the house of kisses on cheeks and happy memories. He would remind you nearly every morning how much he loves what you have and wants you no matter what, for worse or for better, nearly like wedding vows.

And you can say proudly he never missed another birthday.

[aestheticpearl]

— 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲

✧·˚ kayson has always been patient and understanding in your relationship, even when you didn’t notice it

𝓲.

you hated getting upset in front of people, every since you were little you’ve been aware of how uncomfortable you made your parents when you cried. so now that you’re older you’ve learned to cry alone to not make people uncomfortable. you leave and hide to cry without disturbing others and kayson absolutely hates it.

that’s why you were now sitting in a locked room hidden away with him sitting outside the door.

“i’m here when you need me baby.”

“i don’t want you to have to deal with me.”

“deal with you? babe when i committed to this relationship with you i also committed to everything about you. you can cry, it’s okay to be frustrated. your crying is a natural thing and i’m happy to help you through whatever you’re feeling.”

the lock on the door clicks as you open the door.

“hey.”

you quickly move into his arms and kayson immediately wraps them around your frame.

“i’m here.”

his soft whispers and reassuring words help you through the tears and you end up explaining what happened to him with little issue.

“hey, look at me.”

you hesitantly look up at him and he gently wipes your tears away before kissing your salty cheeks.

“i’ll be here no matter what emotion you’re feeling, you don’t have to be alone to try and spare my feelings. i want to be with you, i always want to know how you’re feeling regardless if it’s good or bad, because i care about you a lot.”

you sniffle and rest your head against him.

“thank you.” you can feel the fresh tears of relief roll down your cheeks. “i appreciate that.”

𝓲𝓲.

it wasn’t you’re first time doing something like this with kayson, but something about tonight had you anxious and you weren’t completely sure why. you didn’t want to disappoint him though so you said nothing as you sat on the bed while he kisses your neck.

“babe?” the soft whisper sent shivers down your spine and snapped you out of your daze.

“hm?”

“are you okay? you seem a little off, you know we don’t have to do this anymore; i won’t be upset.”

kayson sits back and looks at you with those puppy eyes he just naturally has.

“…really? you wouldn’t be disappointed if we stopped?”

“of course not, i want you to be comfortable and enjoy our time together.”

kayson takes your hand in his and rubs his thumb over your knuckles to soothe you.

“i’ll love you no matter what.”

he leans down to place a gentle kiss on your lips and you wrap your arms around his neck to deepen it. kayson’s hands find your waist, holding you as if you were made of glass and the harshest movement would break you.

“how did i get so lucky with you?”

𝓲𝓲𝓲.

“baby where you going?”

it’s the middle of the night and you should be asleep next to kayson but your anxiety is relentless tonight and you just can’t seem to sleep.

you look at kayson and see him rubbing sleep from his eyes and a pang of guilt shoots through you from accidentally waking him up due to you moving from his arms.

“i’m sorry i just couldn’t sleep.” you confess in a hushed tone.

“and you thought pacing the room would help you get tired?” you halt your mindless pacing and kayson reaches out a hand for you take. you take it and he rubs his thumb over your knuckles softly. “what’s going on with you baby? you seem so distracted lately.”

you hesitate to respond but eventually give in and tell kayson everything that’s been plaguing your mind for the past week. for the little things of stubbing your toe to the the much larger things of figuring out what to do for your future.

“i’ve just felt so overwhelmed recently and i just want a moment to regroup and not think about everything all at once for one second.”

kayson pauses and thinks for a second before responding to your vulnerable confession.

“how about we just take the day tomorrow? just you and me, we can go out if you want or we can stay in and do whatever you’d like. let’s sleep in and not worry about the world for a moment, hm?”

you feel tears welling in your eyes as you wrap your arms around his neck. kayson rubs your back and adjusts your position so you’re laying down with him once again.

“i’ll take that as a yes.”

“please.”

“okay.”

i’ve had this in the drafts for far too long

.love always <3 pearl

.masterlist

[multifandomworldsposts]

Finally Meeting pt. 2

pairing: Colby Brock x fem!reader

warning: anxiety mentions, fluff

A/N: since everyone is asking for a second part so here it is and i hope everyone likes it!!

Y/N’s POV

the next day

Colby posted on his social medias about me and how the death threats are getting out of hand and how they affected me in a week.

twitter

colbybrock: you know I’m all about positivity, but this has gone too far. please stop giving my girlfriend these threats that are making her upset and she doesn’t deserve this, she told you guys to treat people with kindness and she’s not seeing that, she’s seeing the opposite. everyone in the trap house loves her and she loves them. once again, like she said, treat people with kindness ❤️

The death threats died down after that post and anytime I would post something like me ghost hunting with Colby or Corey and Elton the comments would be so positive it’ll make me feel better and happy. But eventually I took a break from social media so I can be with Colby, his friends, and my family if they want anything from me.

Sam, Colby, Kat, and I went to Disneyland and there were a lot of fans of Sam and Colby coming up to us and some of them would give me dirty looks, I would get some anxiety attacks but I would try to hide my feelings in front of the fans.

After the fans we went on rides but Colby noticed my anxiousness.

“Are you okay?” He whispers in my ear.

“A little.” I whisper.

“Don’t worry about them, we’re here for you Y/N, if something happens we’ll be there for you and we’ll leave if you want.” Colby says to me.

I nod, “Okay.”

Eventually I calmed down during the day and we had such a great time at Disneyland and when we were going back home I fell asleep in the car. When I woke up for the next morning, I was in Colby’s bed. I felt calmer than ever.

Colby and I stayed at the trap house while everyone else went out to do videos for a while. I get a phone call from my mom.

OUR PHONE CALL

“Hi sweetie!”

“Hi mom.” I said kinda upset.

“What’s wrong?”

“Um, I think people hate me.” I confess.

“Why would you think that Y/N/N?”

“Anytime I go out with Colby, his fans give me dirty looks and I get uncomfortable and I want to leave immediately.”

“Don’t let them get to you, you’re with your boyfriend and you should be happy and feel safe with him. I’ve never seen you this happy in a long time and I want you to be happy with yourself Y/N/N.”

I tear up, I know I should be happy about Colby but I just want to stay at the house all daylong because of his fans being rude to me.

I eventually hang up from the phone call and I walk around to find Colby editing a video so I came from behind and hug him, he grabs my arm softly.

“Who was on the phone with you?” He says looking up at me.

“My mom, she just wanted to know how I was doing here.” I look down at him.

“I overheard that you think people hate you.” He says still looking at me.

“Colb, anytime we go out together, I feel like everyone is judging me, I know that I should ignore them but they just get to me.” I confess.

“Y/N, you know that if you feel uncomfortable, you can tell me and we can leave the situation.” He says.

“I know.” I sniffle.

“Don’t cry Y/N/N, everyone that we know knows that we’re happy and no one will stop us from what we’re doing, I love you so much, don’t let anyone get to you.” Colby whispers into my ear.

I look at him in happiness, he makes me smile and he knows that I shouldn’t get that shit into my mind.

“You’re right about that, I just get scared and not think about people get to me.” I say still hugging him.

He kisses my cheek. I feel a little better, I love him so much.

2 WEEKS LATER

Colby films are video about our situation and he got me to be in the video. A lot of people noticed that my facial expressions were happy, anxious, and relaxed while I was sitting next to him.

I read some comments and they were pretty sweet to be honest.

solbyschild: let’s accept that colby is happy and accept that Y/N is happy :) 🥰

taylorswiftfannn13: i think that Y/N seems super sweet! i don’t know why people are hating her???

colbybfan: people are insane, just accept that colby is dating someone and move on!!

inlovewithcolby: i’ve seen her instagram and it’s really cool and she seems like a nice person, and people hate her???? WHY!!!

All I can do is smile and because there’s people out there that’ll support you no matter what you do depends on who it is.

A/N: part 3???

[i-magines]

Wildest Dreams: Chapter 7

Pedro Pascal x fem!Reader

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 6 | CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 9 | CHAPTER 10

synopsis: You’re an assistant director in an indie movie set and fate makes sure you keep crossing paths with a certain Chilean actor.  

disclaimer: This is my first Pedro Pascal’s fictional work + the first fanfic I write in English, as it isn’t my first language. Unfortunately, I do not own Pedro and this is all a product of my imagination.

rating: M (keep scrolling if your under 18 please)

warnings: age gap, mature content, eventual drinking and drugs, fem!reader, smut every once in a while, a little angst, protective pedro, panic attack (not detailed), just he being an angel mostly.

n/a: thanks for last chapter’s comments! they always put a smile on my face :D

word count: 1,751

After the extra days off in Berlin, life back at the movie set was not your cup of tea. New director, new schedule, new dynamics. You weren’t able to spend as much time alone with Pedro anymore, because they were redoing a big part of the movie and keeping the same end date for the shootings — that meant no more night sneakouts for both of you, not on working days at least. You still texted all the time and kept staring at each other every time you were in the same room, but you just missed how things were at the beginning, especially with this sparkle happening between you two. You eagerly waited for your off day announcement, hoping it would match Pedro’s for the first time in almost a month. When you got the paper, it upset you. Later, on the same day, you asked Pedro to come over to your cabin for a little, which he happily did.

You could see how tired he was, 3 months into the shooting. This was an ungrateful industry, for sure. You were tired yourself, being just an assistant. You hugged him once the door was closed.

“I’ve missed you so much, mi princesa”, he whispered in your ear. “This filming schedule will end up killing all of us.”

“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to the final month, we are so behind…” You couldn’t help but worry about all the extra hours to come, but you didn’t want to spend your time with him talking about work. “I was wondering, I will have the day after tomorrow off. I saw you don’t, but maybe you could ask for it?”

“I can try”, he said, giving you a quick peck on the lips. “There’s something I’ve meaning to tell you about.”

Your anxious ass was already nervous. You stared at him, waiting.

“Donna asked me about the nature of our relationship”, a little pout on his face. “I didn’t give her an answer, but I guess people have been gossiping about it.”

“We don’t even get to spend that much time together anymore”, you felt upset. “That’s just so fucking unfair.”

He held you closer into his chest, giving you a little kiss on the top of your head.

“You’re the only thing keeping me sane, sweetheart”, Pedro promised, as you got caught up on hearing his heart pumping hard inside his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault, P”, you said softly. “That’s the one thing you can’t protect me from, I guess.”

Pedro breathed out strongly, feeling frustrated.

“I just wish we could come clean”, he confessed. “I feel hiding it just makes it look worse for us, and I really don’t think we’re doing anything wrong.”

“People already give me these dirty, judgy looks only being suspicious of it”, you replied. “Picture if we come out, my life here would turn into hell and probably none of these people would put out a good word about me for a next gig.”

“I hate how they choose to pick on you, not me”, Pedro touches your arm with affection. “What do you want to do?”

“It would be lovely if we got the same day off, as a start.” You loved how he was always asking your opinion. “Maybe we could go back to that pub in Berlin, just get out of this place for a bit.”

“I will make sure it happens, promise”, he showed you his pinky. You smiled and took it, kissing him briefly on the lips — there’s no time or energy for more than that.

The next day, you get early to the common area and, before you get to say anything to let them know you were there, you hear Pedro and Donna mentioning your name. It looked like they were having an argument.

“This will fuck your career up if you don’t drop it”, she said, getting an angry look from him. “I did everything you asked: Dave’s out, I kept her on the crew and I will recommend her to future jobs, but that’s what you’re getting from me.”

“You’re talking like she was a kid or something”, Pedro argued with a frustrated tone.

“You know it’s fucking wrong, otherwise you wouldn’t have kept it as a secret until now”, Donna told him, making you fell incredible bad. You should make a sound or something, but it felt like it was too late. “A scandal like this can ruin the whole movie campaign, the award season, every single thing is on the line here. For what? A twenty-something old pussy? Please.”

“I won’t ask you again to watch your fucking mouth when you talk about her”, he was controlling himself, the tension on his body showing.

“You can have your fucking day off Pedro”, she shaked her shoulders. “I wash my hands, but if this backlashes against the project or the studio, I might not be able to do anything about you, but she is fucked.”

“Don’t you fucking dare”, he warned her.

“You heard me and you better make sure she knows what she is getting into”, Donna didn’t seem intimidated. “That’s if you’re even keeping her after we’re done here.”

Pedro didn’t reply and she went away to the opposite direction, her last statement still floating in the air. Fuck, that didn’t look good. You didn’t want him to know you just heard all of that, so you quietly sneaked back to your cabin. That conversation was everything you were able to think about during the day, as you did your best to avoid being with both of them. Later, Pedro texted you to come over with your bag packed for the day away. Once you got there, he greeted you with a tired smile and occupied himself with packing his own luggage.

“I heard you and Donna today”, you confessed. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before.”

Pedro looked at you, a worried look in his eyes.

“Which part?” He asked, using his hand to invite you to sit on his bed with him.

“The last one”, you frowned. “Was she right?”

“About what?”

“You don’t keeping me after.”

He breathed out slowly, running his hands on his face.

“I don’t know what life will bring, sweetheart”, he started, but your heart was already racing. That’s definitely not what you wanted to hear. “Of course I care about you, but I told you before, I can’t make long term promises right now.”

It just broke you a little bit — at least, he is being honest, you thought. But it didn’t help the sinking feeling you felt inside.

“Thanks for making things clear”, you whispered, doing your best to hold back the tears. “We should get going… Let’s enjoy the month we have left.”

“Baby girl—”

“It’s fine, Pedro”, you didn’t let him finish. “Let’s just go.”

So you two did. The drive to Berlin was absolute silence and, once you got there, you went straight to the same pub/night club from the first time you went out together. Pedro’s friends were waiting for you there, but your mind just wasn’t in it. You didn’t know what you were expecting, but that wasn’t it. You felt heartbroken to the point you couldn’t pretend everything was fine and just be around him, so you decided to sit at the bar by yourself. He didn’t come after you at first, and when he did, you were already kind of drunk, full of all these feelings.

“You okay?” He asked, getting on the seat by your side. “I hope you got what I meant—”

“Do you do it in every project?” You interrupted him, popping the question that was killing you. “Am I just a thing for this one, and next one is another girl?”

“I wouldn’t— Y/N, I never meant that”, he looked worried that you were thinking that about him. “Please, don’t even go there, it’s nonsense.”

You nodded, unsatisfied but unable to start a proper argument.

“If you aren’t having a good time, I would rather just get a hotel room and spend our free time together”, Pedro said after a few minutes in silence.

You didn’t reply, you only stood up and shaked your head at the exit’s direction. He guided you, holding your hand. He opened the door for you and you didn’t expect the flashes and yelling. Scared, you almost stumbled on your own feet, but Pedro held your arm, side-hugging you and using his jacket to protect your face from the paparazzi. You felt a panic attack coming, feeling unable to move. Pedro held you even closer, doing his best to protect you.

"Who is she?” A pap screamed.

“Pose for a pic, Pedro!” Another one did the same.

“Please you guys, give us space”, Pedro asked politely, he could barely see where he was going, the strong flashing lights taking his sight away.

“New GF, Pepe?” They kept trying to get a good picture of both of you. “Let me see her cute face. C'mon, man!”

“Fuck off, asshole”, Pedro pushed his way through the group, getting you inside the car and telling the driver to go. “What the fuck just happened?”

You still couldn’t move, your eyes hurting from the lights and your dizziness wasn’t helping. Pedro held your hand tight and kissed your cheek.

“You okay, baby, I got you”, he promised. 

Your breath was irregular and you hid your face against his chest.

“I’m so, so sorry— I don’t even know’, he touched your hair nicely. “Try to focus on your breath, sweetheart. You’re safe, you’re with me.”

You did as he asked, trying to pay attention to his beating heart, as it always brought you confort. He reached for a water bottle and gave it to you. You slipped a little bit, being able to regain control of your breathing. Your whole body still shaking.

“Fuck”, he whispered, running his hand thought his hair. “It’s okay, we’re okay.”

“What the hell was that?” You spoke with a weak voice, still regulating yourself.

“Fucking paps, I don’t know—” he tried to explain, but you could see they caught him off guard as well. “Let’s get you to bed, I’m gonna call my agent. It will be fine.”

He did as he promised. He helped you undress and change into your pajamas. You brushed your teeth under his careful look and he tucked you into bed, giving you a long kiss on your forehead.

CHAPTER 8 AVALIABLE NOW

TAGLIST: @kyuupidwrites @omg-its-typical-aesthetics-fan @vivibabiez @ivyohmy @sebastianstansimp @tubble-wubble @28cnn @3zae-zae3 @technicallysassyfox @bellatrixyoass @mandolover86 @eliffluisa @one-sweet-gubler @anaxmcu @untitledarea @shesa-riott @chloelmao67 @majesticjellyfishzombie @adriennemichelle98​ @januarycolor​ @lxdyred​

[crazylittlejester]

bro. i am in the same boat as you.

asfhdjkss seeing you stress and become disappointed about whumptober is making ME FEEL THE SAME......

feeling upset about your writing and all the prompts not being correctly put down into words can be very hard and complicated!! i get it!!!

it's totally normal to feel that way and i assure you, it's okay!

just know that, even if it is your own decision, you don't have to feel obligated to do all 32 days. that's a bunch of work for someone and a whole lot of planning and writing and that can effect someone's energy and mental health. i appreciate your effort in trying to do it though! but please, don't get worried about producing so many mediocre fics, at the end of the day you're still writing things and im proud!!!

i saw your post about this and immediately felt bad so i hope this can help you feel even a little better... even so, i will be looking forward to anything you end up writing! you are such a fantastic author, never forget that. <3

thanks man 🫶 /gen

i have really been struggling a lot lately with this, and it’s been very hard to not get angry with myself over it because I feel like I haven’t been able to write in months and I’ve been struggling with hating most of what I write these days and I get so incredibly anxious to post anything because I feel like my ability to write and the quality of my fics has deteriorated sooo much. I’ve had my ao3 acc since 2018 and every year I’ve kinda made a tradition almost of orphaning everything I write and starting fresh at the start of the new year because I dislike the vast majority of what I write but I realized a few months ago that I don’t think I can do that this year- this is certainly the most attention my fics have ever gotten and I think at least one person would come yell at me in my asks if i disappeared off the face of the earth never to write for LU again allddkkd

its just very hard not to feel upset about being burnt out for so many months, and it’s hard to see how engagement has been down and have to remind myself it’s not because i suck, it’s literally just because i’ve been making less content. of course engagement would be down, the main reason most people interact with me is BECAUSE I write or do analysis posts or make content, so if im not putting out as much as i used to then that tracks and makes sense, but it’s hard to stop the intrusive thoughts sometimes. It is certainly a fight to not feel useless when I can’t do the one thing I’m supposed to be doing with this blog

anyways… it makes me really happy that there are at least a few people who will read whatever i throw up onto ao3, and all of you who regularly read the things i write and send me asks n such genuinely make me so happy. all of you are awesome

and thank you for this, it was really kind and sweet of you. i hope you have a good day, remember to take care of yourself and get some water n food 🫶

*wet cough* anyway *sniffle* y’all wanna see my tav…? /j *kicks a rock*

[literaila]

Heyy so I've readed your fanfic A Typical Family and I can't stop re reading it because, well, let's just say that the manga is not at it's finest (Prettysureyouknowwhatimean.) and your fanfic is doing a great job helping me with my mental stability caused by Gege Akutami 😀 so thank you!

I love everything, I sure as hell needed that fluff. But one of the things I like the most is actually y/n's past, I like that you didn't went into details about what happened to her and it was just mentioned like two or three times. I like that a lot because it makes the character more intriguing and you give the reader the posibility of being as creative as possible when it comes to her past, I atleast came up with a few ideas of how she used to live.

But after Chapter 29 I couldn't help myself but wonder what really happened to y/n with her family during her youth. In details. Because I felt that there was A LOT going on-

So yeah, that's why I searched for you in tumblr, fell in love with you after scrolling down your account for a bit (which means hours) and decided to ask you if you could specify more about her past? What happened to her? How was her daily life living in a place where she was missunderstood by her own parents? How did her parents treated her? Did she always felt lonely? Is that why she's so insecure when she became a mother? I REALLY am intrigued.

Thanks again for everything and let's hope to find that annoying cat's hideout 😄🔪

(idoindeedunderstandexactlywhatyoumean)

ah. my dear reader.

she started as just an archetype of sorts, i suppose. like a person in my head but not enough of a person to interfere with the story in any particular way

the focus was abandonment issues so that satoru/suguru leaving could actually have some purpose.

but as i’m sure everyone is well aware—i don’t do simplicity, and i wholeheartedly believe that each and every character (in any media) should be a little… messed up? hurt? battling their own demons??

i think about things in the ways that it’ll improve or harm a story. and satoru leaving reader after being left by everyone else—that’s what i latched on to originally

(actually originally originally it was just a one-shot of megumi calling reader mom and being upset about it… ah how things change)

so i continued with that idea and im not sure when exactly i decided that her parents were awful, but they were. it made it easier for her to avoid talking to satoru about any issues, and easier to understand why she would care so much about these kids and them growing up with (no offense to gojo) a child for a father.

and at the beginning you can tell (or maybe only i can idk) that she is less self conscious about herself, and more worried about the kids. how are they going to react to this? how can a recently graduated person become a mother in under an hour? so it’s not that she’s insecure because she didn’t have a good childhood—that’s just how she is. too thoughtful, a bit anxious.

(mostly just to tie in satoru and readers relationship because i figured they’d need some balancing somewhere)

but then as the characters become more of their own, i needed more from her character. why does she care about these kids so much beyond just having morals? why do they trust her almost immediately?

and this began in the part where she’s consoling tsumiki—because i wanted to give baby a moment sorry not sorry. suddenly she missed her estranged parents and understood how sad miki felt. how much losing your mother matters.

but i’ve always made it fairly clear that tsumiki is just trusting. so easy one there.

but with megumi—reader is more worried that satoru is going to raise him under his wing. and obviously, that’s a horrible decision. satoru is barely a normal teenager to reader so… yeah she doesn’t trust him with megumi. who is obviously impressionable and easy to persuade.

plus the boy is rough for a six year old—needs a gentler hand than some people (ahem, satoru) can give him.

but unlike tsumiki, megumi was going to take time. so instead of a moment they have lots of little things—like the fact that she can read his emotions even when he’s trying to close them off, or that she watches him interact with both tsumiki and satoru very differently.

their trust is built on silence—but once megumi can depend on someone there’s really no going back.

and none of this has anything to do with reader necessarily—but her foundation is made from the two children, and satoru.

and then i had to push some more on the two of them. because—they are in love (they don’t say it ever, but it’s obvious), but they need a reason to hide it.

for satoru it’s because he has been raised to be the most important thing, and to not really trust anyone. and when suguru leaves he realizes that no matter what no one will understand him—he’ll always be a level ahead, a step too high.

so for reader it has to be different. some echoes of pain. and as soon as i realized how scared she was for megumi—i had to give her a reason to be scared. i imagine that she’s always been terrified of jujutsu, not because it’s difficult or because there was some nasty curses, but because it essentially ruined her life.

i imagine her parents to be average, run of the mill people. i think she depended on them when she was very young, and was naturally trusting (like tsumiki) as a child. she’s the type to believe that her parents are the best people in the world.

but once a little girl begins to see things that aren’t there—to scream and hide in closets, or cry while being dragged into the kitchen—things shift.

i don’t think it was bad at first, but when her cursed technique manifested, her parents understood that she was something other.

outwardly, they provided everything a child needs. food, home, clothes, education. but they refused to listen to her when something was wrong, they would leave the room when she entered—because she carried that negative presence with her.

so, i think to reader, they treated her like she was the curse.

and when yaga shows up, rattling about jujutsu high and these strange things that only the two of them would be able to understand, there was no returning back into the child her parents had loved.

she was different. too different for them to understand—or want to even try to.

i doubt they gave her a choice in going to school. if they could get her out of their house, get her curse out of there—they were going to.

(not to mention that there’s no reason for her to stay at home—not with two people who couldn’t care less about her).

so she was essentially sent away at fifteen and (like reader says) they were gone not too long after that.

(i think both the first and second years found out about this because yaga was trying to be nice and tell them not to push and accidentally revealed too much information. also he’s a gossip oops).

with the type of childhood she had—bad but not awful, nothing to run from—it makes it hard for her to connect with other people. and reader truly does believe she is the curse because that’s all she’s been taught.

but everyone at jujutsu high can understand, even if it’s the smallest amount. going there changes her life, simply put.

with at least five other people there to understand the things that she does—the burden is divided equally among all of them. she doesn’t have to hold it all alone.

so she connects with suguru, begins to realize she was just a child and not a problem. she learns how to control her cursed technique and is no longer scared that she’s doomed to forever push people away.

and she makes friends. friends make all the difference in the world, obviously.

plus, there’s satoru and he’s a burden of his own.

but at least she gets to choose it this time, no matter how difficult he makes it.

[saltminerising]

seeing the drama go down about the auraboa lore has made me super anxious. as a writer and also an autistic person, it can be hard to fully know and prepare for every single issue ahead of time, and it worries me that i’ll accidentally write something problematic into my own lore on flight rising without realizing it. (also i don’t have the funds to personally hire a sensitivity reader for all my flight rising lore.) it makes me wonder if one day i’ll write something and get cancelled and called racist for something i didn’t intend for it to come across that way at all, despite my best efforts to be cognizant of such things.

i’m not saying people shouldn’t call out these things. as a writer, there’s a lot of pressure to perform, but also the responsibility to get things right, to not spread misinformation or perpetuate harmful stereotypes. but i really think some compassion should be extended to the other side too, that people are human and they do make mistakes, unintentionally causing hurt. should flight rising hire sensitivity readers? absolutely. should they fix and change the issues present within the lore? absolutely. but i also don’t think they intended to belittle or dehumanize a group of people with their recent lore, either.

i know i’ve certainly taken the time to rewrite entire chunks of my own lore when something just felt… off to me for whatever reason. and i think that’s something that no author should be afraid to do. but the sheer hostility that comes from some people can be really daunting and anxiety-inducing. discouraging, even. to some extent, it makes me personally wonder if i should even try to tell stories when people try to find as much fault as possible in them, and aggressively tear them down rather than offering constructive criticism. it creates an environment of hostility rather than a learning space where we can all be better people.

i’m not talking about the folks who have valid criticisms, and voiced those things politely and with respect, who have brought up real concerns. that should by all means get discussed and acknowledged. i’m talking about the ones who are going overboard and getting angry at staff and just straight up calling them extremely racist. not that i’m defending racism. of course not. just that i think being that as accusatory as possible doesn’t get us anywhere other than high tension and mob mentality.

i also think there are definitely people who are being dismissive of these concerns as well, and those folks need to back down too. (especially that individual who posted a baby image as a reply to what an individual stated. that’s such a childish thing to do. please be better than that.) i’m just sad to see some people can’t remain civil about these topics, i guess. i feel like, we’re all people here, we all bleed the same, we all make mistakes. perhaps a little bit of empathy would go a long way from both sides of the equation.

on another note. for the folks who are being equally dismissive of the phobias that genes like medusa and scuttle trigger: people are people, and what bothers one person might not upset another. expecting everyone to feel the same way, and to not have a certain trigger because it doesn’t personally bother you is a very narrow-minded way of thinking. let people exist in the way that they do without making them feel unheard and unseen, as though they are ridiculous or foolish. they’re not.

i love these genes myself, but i can understand if someone else was unnerved by them, because the world is a larger place than my own narrow perception of it. again, compassion and empathy go a long way. please don’t be unkind to the folks who may be dealing with things you are not. wouldn’t you appreciate it if someone was as understanding about the things that upset you?

anyways. sorry for rambling. i’m sure most of you will think this is too much to read, and that’s fine too. i can understand that. regardless of whether you did or not, i hope you all have a good week. rest, hydrate, and take care of yourselves.

[twistedwonderlandfantasies]

(Repost)

Never Unplug a Gamers Computer

Idia x fem!reader 

For 18+ audience only

tags: smut, bondage, shibari, plot, slight angst, edging, oral, overstimulation, biting, begging, humiliation, toys

Wordcount: 5k

It had been weeks, maybe even a few months, where you hadn’t seen your fiery blue-haired boyfriend. All you could catch was faint glimpses of him hurrying through campus halls and snoozing through the classes he’d actually attend in person. Most of your interactions happened virtually— through messages, video calls, gaming sessions together. Yeah, it was fun for a while, you felt, especially the phone sex where he’d make you do all sorts of lewd things with your camera on, but you missed him. You missed feeling him hold you, his smell, his goofy grin. Enough was enough, you thought. You tidied a small bag of your belongings and walked out of Ramshackle dorm to Ignihyde. Boy was your heart pumping, but you confidently went through the hall mirror without hesitation, striding towards the housewardens room. 

You thought to yourself how he could be such a shut-in and yet have so much personality once you got to know him. That’s one of the things you loved about him, he would only show his true side to the people he cared for. Nevermind the fact his sharp tongue wasn’t exclusive to anyone, his knack for hitting a person's nerve was enough for everyone to understand he’s as quick-witted and sly as he is a wall-flower.  

Once you arrived, you stood outside his door, before gently knocking. “Idia?” After a few moments one of the brothers opened up. Ortho gleefully welcomed you in after seeing you outside.

 “Y/N! I’m so glad to see you! What brings you in? Don’t tell me my brothers made you upset…” his eyebrows furrowed in disappointment. “I know he isn’t very good at communicating, but he really is a good person.” 

You shook your head, “Of course not, Ortho, Idia could never upset me, I’ve just come to visit him.” You gave the young boy an assuring smile. 

Idia was in the back of the room, a separate space where all his gaming equipment was set up. His socially-anxious heart already sank a little at hearing someone knock on the door. Who the hell is that? He thought before hearing your voice greet Ortho. Now his heart sank even more… shit shit shit why is Y/N here? Did I do something wrong? Look at this place… oh no… there’s crumbs all over my shirt. Idia was going into a mental panic mode while he lept out of his chair and started kicking all the trash around to try and hide the pile somewhere while fixing his clothes. One hand held his phone as he violently scrolled through your DM’s to see if you had mentioned wanting to visit, while another hand was now attempting to comb through the long locks of fire that had draped over his shoulders. 

“Idia?” you walked into the small set-up room, a curious look about you, eager to give your boyfriend a surprise visit. 

The housewarden suddenly froze up, his heading turning over to meet your gaze. 

“Y/N” his mellow voice barely released a whisper as he felt his soul leave his body. She must think I’m such a pig now— oh Gods my hentai manga is still on my table. I thought I hid that?! 

“Idia… you don’t need to get so worked-up over me visiting.” You couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at his obvious panic, walking up to give him a peck on the lips before taking the comb out of his hand to place it on the table, then leaning over to pick up extra empty chip bags still littering the floor. “I just thought I’d come see you, I really do miss you, you know.” You walked over to place the remaining bags in the trash. 

You instantly started tidying the place up to help ease his worry. Idia saw you crouch under his desk to pick up empty soda cans, and then you stacked all his manga and set it at the corner of the table. Watching you work like this made his heart flutter, his eyes going soft and a smile forming on his face. 

I really am lucky to have her 

“See, all better.” You smiled at your boyfriend before sitting down on the edge of his bed. You looked around for a moment, having only visited Ignihyde a few times the sites of his room were still not totally familiar to you. You took in a deep breath, the smell of fruit-flavored energy drinks and cologne made you giddy. 

“You redesigned a bit I see.” You pointed to the new light fixtures in the room and a few new collection figurines.

“Uh— yeah…” Idia, still in a bit of shock, walked over to sit beside you. He looked at you, taking in your features all over again. Wow… she really is a lot more different in person. I can feel the heat off her body, her hands look so soft. She’s so much cuter like this.

“I’m actually glad you’re here, Y/N. W-wanna um… catch up on the last RPG event we started?”

You raised a brow at his request, after all, you just got there, and he’s already asking you to game? Doesn’t this boy ever get tired of being on his computer? You already knew the answer to that. Shaking your head, you gave a smile in defeat. 

“Alright, let’s crush that game.” You giggled. 

It had been two weeks that you were staying over at Ignihyde. After a bit of convincing, Idia let you sleep with him, although not a whole lot happened between you two as almost all the boy's confidence depletes to zero in real life. The most you two had achieved were steamy make-out sessions, but that was it. It took a lot of work from your side to get him to open up. You remember the first time holding hands his fingers wouldn’t stop shaking. And, of course, you initiated the first kiss. You’d never forget the way Idia’s hair turned a bright pink and his face matched too. For a reaction like that, you’d be willing to kiss him all the time, you thought.

 But over your two weeks of labor you were beginning to get impatient. All he did was keep gaming, working on his tech-creations and being a shut-in. You would bring him breakfast every morning, help keep his room clean, hell, you even did his homework a few times for him. But all of this hard work and for what? We all know he lacked social skills, but Idia wasn’t dumb. Maybe no one has ever actually treated him this way and he doesn’t know how to react? Maybe you aren’t communicating enough? You were living with the man but still hungry for attention, and it was starting to piss you off.

“Idia?” You walked into his room, holding a bag of snacks in your hand. You had just come from the shop with all the newest drinks and goodies, wanting to surprise him with an evening movie night now that it was Friday and you knew he’d finished all his work.

Idia?” You called again. You peered into the dark room with neon blue lights only to see your boyfriend hunched over by his monitor, his headphones on, controller in hand, gaming away. Your eye twitched in frustration. 

You snapped.

You set the bag down on the floor and walked over to Idia, before doing the unspeakable. 

His computer screen suddenly went black.

You had pulled the plug, turning everything off. Idia visibly paused for a moment, before slowly taking his headphones off. His brain hadn’t even begun processing yet what was happening. 

“Y-you only ever care about those stupid fucking games! Am I really that pathetic! That you don’t even notice my presence when I’m 10 feet away from you in a room! That I do everything for you but some 2D characters are more important? I know you’re shy, Idia, but this goes beyond that—” 

You’re suddenly cut off by the sound of your boyfriend leaving his chair, slowly walking towards you. His hair… if not his entire body… is in a shade of deep. agonizing. red. It’s even worse than when Riddle gets mad.

“Y/N” He chokes out. You can’t see his face as it’s still dark, and his head is tilted down in disbelief. 

“What have you done…” 

You look up from the plugs in your hand to see his form towering over you, he’s never been like this before. His body feels so hot it almost stings. 

Idia hadn’t been just playing a game but downloading months of precious data on his computer at the same time. Now all his work is lost, not to mention the rewards he had earned on his live game which he hadn’t saved yet. He had emergency power set up in his room, but without the cord actually being connected to a source, it was meaningless. 

You hadn’t realized what you had done in your moment of anger. Suddenly everything started spinning as fear and regret settled in. You dropped the cords in your hand, which was now tense— no,  your whole body was. 

“Idia, I, I’m…” 

“You.” He growled, the pit in his stomach growing. He had to now spend the next months recovering the files he lost and became corrupted because of you, if not rewriting endless lines of code all over again, meaning more sleepless nights. Now he had to start his game progress from level one which he had also been working towards for the past few months, not to mention all the other minor projects that were still opened up and hadn’t been saved to his hard drive yet. Needless to say, you fucked up. 

You ran out of the room. Your chest tightened and before you knew it you were in the lounge with tears uncontrollably streaming down your face. Shit… fuck… why did I do that? Why am I so stupid! I’m so selfish and now look at what I’ve done! I could have just talked to him! He has been improving! Why am I so goddamn needy! You sat there for a few minutes, trying to compose yourself again. Your mind was torn between trying to defend or blaming yourself. All you knew now was that Idia was angry. It was the first time you had seen him that way. A sick part of you was actually happy to see him so worked up over you, it was the most reaction you’d gotten out of him this whole time, but at what cost? You didn’t actually want to see him upset. 

After what seemed like forever you knew you had to face your boyfriend and be an adult. So, you got out of your chair and began taking slow steps back to his room. The door was open, so you went inside. 

The temperature alone made you sweat. Your anxiety wasn’t helping. Was he the one really making the place so warm? 

You gulped, but it felt like something was caught in your throat. You didn’t have the gall to say anything, pacing carefully towards his desk, but you noticed he wasn’t there. You mustered your courage to try and whisper his name but before you could a hand slammed onto the desk from behind pinning you into place. 

“You’re bold, I’ll give you that.” You heard Idia speak before turning around where you were standing to see him over you. 

“To have you walk back in here so soon after making such a big mistake, Y/N.” He takes the tip of your chin with his fingers to give you a gentle, consoling kiss. “Sweet Y/N. I know immediately after making your mistake you realized what you’d done.” He can’t help but give a cynical grin. “Yes, I could see it in your face… my, how poor and sweet it was. I should have taken a picture! It was so endearing, after what you did, I hate to admit it but I would LOVE to see it again.” 

His other hand slammed onto the desk, making you jump a little at the loud noise where you now stood completely cornered. 

“I know I’m not the best boyfriend— in fact, sometimes I can’t even believe I have you. I mean, look at you, you’re so utterly… perfect.” The words rolled off his tongue sadistically as he continued staring you down. “And I’m a pathetic loser. An antisocial freak. Who would ever want me? Right… right?” He leaned in closer to you, feeling his hot breath tickle your skin. “But you came along and by the God’s I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you. As kind, as funny, as considerate. Do you know how fucking good you are.” His obviously irritated tone pierced your ears like daggers but the words he said made butterflies in your stomach. 

You weren’t sure what to feel. Idia had never complimented you like this before. All the showering of affection was sending mixed singles in your head. Did I really have to do something so terrible to get such praise? Is he messing with me? 

Indeed, your actions had changed something in Idia’s head. He realized that he had taken you for granted and that his antisocial tendencies were compromising his relationship. What you did was a wake-up call for him, albeit a very poor one.

In your confused daze you felt Idia’s face bury into your neck. Wait, what the hell is he doing? You didn’t realize it but you were feeling more than just fear and worry. With the way he had pinned you down against the desk he actually managed to turn you on a bit. You’d never seen him so assertive before and with the way he was taunting you it was almost hypnotizing. 

“Idia” You mutter, feeling him breathe down your sensitive skin. You press your legs against each other after feeling a familiar tingle starting to grow inside you. 

“Idia, I’m sorry.” You manage to apologize before feeling him bite down on you. You instinctively wince in pain before your fingers dig into the desk. 

Look at how she instantly melts beneath me despite the situation being against her. Gods… I really am so mad I could fuck her like this. How is she so hot even after making such a big fuck-up.

“Your apology isn’t enough, princess. Since you wanted my attention so badly, it’s all yours now. And you’re gonna pay me back with it dearly.” He hissed into your neck before starting to suck on the spot he knew would make you mewl. Idia had made mental notes of every little place on your body which would make you turn primal. 

“Idia—mmm b-babe please— what the hell is wrong with you.” You protested but the way your body contorted gave a different message; your back arched to feel his weight against you. 

“I can’t hear you. Speak up.” He taunted again. You already knew his teeth had left very obvious marks on your skin, but the way his hot lips ran against your neck made you think of only a single thing. 

“Idia.” Another failed protest left your lips. There was not much point in trying to talk sense into this man. All you were hoping for is that whatever comes next doesn’t hurt too badly. After all, you deserved it.

“Yes, my love?” His face met yours again as lidded yellow eyes looked down at you examining your features. “You look excited.” His knee went up to rub against your clothed womanhood. “Are you enjoying this?” His hand snaked back to squeeze your ass. “Do you like your boyfriend when he’s mad?” He kept tormenting you. “Is that why you pissed me off? You’re one selfish little princess, do you know that?”  Idia’s other hand made its way to the other side of your ass before he thrusted your hips towards his body so you rub against his knee again. “tsk, so needy. Begging me for attention all the time. And when you don’t get it you throw a fucking tantrum. I should have fucked you into content a while ago.” With every word he kept giving your ass an even tighter squeeze before a hand slid lower to the back of your thigh where his thumb began rubbing circles. 

You were already speechless by his complete change in behavior. A part of you even wanted to protest at his crude remarks, but you couldn’t deny every second of this was making you even wetter and lightheaded. Yes, you wanted him to fuck you into content, you wanted him to abuse your mind and body like this. You needed it, like the needy bitch he knew you were. What an awful combination, you thought, an attention whore like you chasing after a man like him. Maybe this was just part of the thrill now that you have what you wanted. 

“I hope you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into.” He warned before attacking your lips. His eyes didn’t leave yours for a second, he wanted you to know that you shouldn’t take his passivity for granted. His sharp teeth pried your lips open where his tongue made its way forcefully into your mouth. The way his hungry lips lecherously sucked onto yours made you audibly moan in the back of your throat sending a smirk upon Idia’s lips that you could almost feel. You grabbed the collar of his sweater desperately to leverage yourself against him while his hands supported you from behind. You could feel how satisfied he was with himself by the way he handled you so roughly. While he continued kissing you both his hands wrapped around your thighs and lifted you off the ground suddenly. Your shot your eyes open at the loss of balance before flailing your arms to wrap around him tightly by the neck.

“Idia!” You yelped, face red from desire and panic. 

“You have no idea how much I love it when you say my name.” He chuckled, carrying you to the bed and laying you on your back while he continued to hover over you. He cradled your body between his knees. Compared to your frame he was much bigger, his hair beautifully splayed against his back and reaching the floor. You watched your boyfriend, lustful eyes taking in the irresistible sight of him above you. Idia began slowly undoing the buttons to your pants, almost teasingly, not breaking that eye contact with you. He wanted you to see him, see the way he treated you, see the way his hands moved on your body. 

After barring your legs he leaned in closer to kiss the tops of your ankles, working his way up peppering you in sweet kisses before reaching your thighs. He gave another painful bite. You tried holding yourself together, warm pain radiating from the spot. His lips began sucking and teasing against the skin near your cunt. Idia wanted to torture you, It was payback. He enjoyed the sight of your wet panties so close to his face. He could almost smell it. The cool air hitting the wet fabric and the way Idia was tormenting you made you close your thighs instinctively. But the way your legs squeezed against his head made him nearly lose his composure then and there. “Don’t choke me just yet.” he mumbled under his breath. Idia rose back up to meet your face for another hungry kiss.

His hand slid beneath your top, caressing the skin of your waist and then snaking up to grope you through your bra. You felt so soft underneath his fingers, everything about you was intoxicating to him. He took his time playing with your breasts. It was one of his favorite parts of your body. He released the passionate kiss, a string of saliva connecting you two. His lips were parted and panting, the rise and fall of his chest matching with the hot breaths you felt on your face from him. He noticed how red and swollen your lips were from the way he had bullied you, rubbing his thumb against your lower lip in satisfaction. Your entire face was covered in a deep blush, the way you looked at him could only be described as dirty. 

I wish I could take a picture of her like this. 

Idia wasted no time in ripping your flimsy shirt off. You were wearing a sexy bra just for an occasion like this. You never expected it to come true, but here you were at his mercy. The way it complimented your skin and perked your boobs up to look so full made Idia stare shamelessly. 

“Fuck this, I have to.”

He took his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture of your body in an instant movement, before you could protest. He threw the phone and his own hoodie aside before leaning back into you. 

“I knew you were dirty but walking around dressed like this… who knew my girlfriend was such a little slut. Unfortunately this has to go though…”

He ripped the bra off too. 

This man owed you a shopping spree after ruining your clothes like this.  

You had never shown this much of yourself to him, instinctively wrapping your arms around your breasts.

“You don’t get to cover up after making me come this far, princess.” His voice was huskier than before, deep and silken, you were completely overtaken by how hot this man could get. 

Idia leaned down to leave a kiss under your chin, his hand coming up to slowly pry your arms open as his head made its way lower. 

He couldn’t help but glance over before kissing the tops of your breasts. Should have taken another picture. His lips left dark bruises all over your sensitive mounds before he slowly ran his tongue between your boobs. You were shamelessly moaning at the attention he was giving you. Every touch was euphoric, especially the way he sucked and teased at your buds with his mouth.

 “How could you possibly hide this from me? Look at you. I think I’ll make it a rule to take off your clothes every time you come over. What do you think?” You rolled your eyes, continuing to play with the strands of hair you had in your hand. At this point the hard-on in his pants was straining painfully against his sweats as you felt him grind against you needily.

After he had his fill with your chest Idia slid down lower to come face-to-face with your cunt. 

 “I should taste you.” 

You swear you felt your heart stop for a moment. He started palming you, tracing the lines of your cunt with his finger before shamelessly digging his face into your pussy and taking a deep inhale. Your body jerked in response which earned another satisfied look from his face. “This is mine.” His finger moved the fabric aside to expose your bare lips. “But that doesn’t excuse you from being a bad little girl.” He hummed before sliding his tongue from your entrance to your clit. 

Your legs convulsed, but Idia grabbed them and viciously pinned them down against the bed, stopping you from moving. “Nuh-uh, You can’t just enjoy this. I have to discipline you. The heir to the underworld can’t be so forgiving.” He went back to eagerly tasting you. The sloshing noises of his tongue against your folds had you biting your lips in fervor. 

“Fuck… Idia… ahh-” 

“What is it baby? Is there something you want to say? I think the way your cute little pussy is creaming for me says everything I need to know. Look at how you’re enjoying this, heh.” He kept his actions slow and sensual which was driving you mad. 

You took the bundle of hair that was in your hand and tugged on it, pushing his head deeper into your cunt.

“Fuck me already…” your voice quivered. Idia suddenly stopped. “Haven’t you learned by now, my love, you're not the one here making demands. I’m in control, I rule over you, and you're going to behave exactly how I want you to.” He seethed between his teeth while continuing to lap up your juices. 

“This simply won't do.” The way he was attacking your cunt already had a knot growing in your stomach. “You need better discipline.” His mouth instantly stopped before you noticed him rising from his position.

“Babe, please.” You whimpered trying to get him to go back to eating your pussy. “I promise I’ll be good, please.” Continuing to shamelessly beg. Your desperation hit Idia’s ears like sweet honey. 

“Keep begging.” He took your wrists and latched you onto the bed. You had never even seen the leather cuffs he had attached to the bedpost. Were they always there? This man just kept surprising you. 

“Idia?” You look up to see your confined wrists. 

He pulled something else out from under his bed. It was a black rope. 

How did I never notice before. You looked carefully at the way he wrapped your body, it was so sensual. The rope rubbed and fastened against your skin tightly, certain to leave marks later. He lastly took your ankles and tied them to each end of the bed, the way he spread you out was like straight porn. You already felt your cunt forming a pool of liquid on the sheets underneath you. He looked at you like this. It was unbearable for him. He didn’t know how many times he’d have to ruin you to satiate him. How many wet dreams he’s had just like this, and now he finally gets to live them out. His last little surprise was a gag he forced into your mouth and a vibrator he had secretly made for you which he put into your ass. 

“Mmm I’ll get to fuck this hole too later, just be patient, princess, okay?” He whispered while inserting the vibrator in. 

“Just follow me like a good girl and everything will be fine.” His assurances fell on deaf ears. With the way he had you, you knew this man was about to make you see stars. 

 His hair, his face, those clouded eyes; You gazed at his torso, how defined his abdomen was. The way his skin glistened from a layer of sweat that had formed over his body from his heart-throbbing lust had you wishing you could lick every drop of it off him. 

Idia had dimmed the lights to the room, where you could barely see anything. Your inability to speak, your confinements and the low rumbling feeling from your core had your senses at peak height. 

You felt fingers brush across your abdomen. Your body twitched in excitement at every interaction. 

“You know it’s actually quite cold in the underworld.”

Then his hands greedily made their way up to your neck, long nimble fingers perfectly wrapping around your supple skin.

“But I can make it unbearably hot.”

His other hand squeezed your thigh, before you felt a weight shift onto the bed where he hovered over you, hardly visible, the outline of his bare body positioned perfectly over you.

“Oh, yes, I’m going to make you feel those flames of hell.”

He took his anger out by thrusting himself into you without warning; his body jerked in a way that made every muscle in your body reflexively tense at the sudden jolt, filling you with more pain than pleasure. You bit down hard on the gag, tears forming at the corners of your eyes while your hands grabbed onto their cuffs. 

He slowly pulled out, only to slam back in again.

His pace continued like this.

You were practically screaming, not that it was very coherent with his hand still around your neck. Was this man trying to kill you? Maybe he was trying to take your soul.

“Mmmm princess you have no idea how good you look like this.”

He glared at you, saliva and tears running down your face, tits bouncing to the motion of his hips, your thighs uncontrollably flexing, your walls squeezing him so tight he would have trouble pulling out.

Selfish little pussy trying to milk me so soon— hngh— she’s so good… Gods she’s so good.

His ferocious thrusts had your orgasm growing in minutes, but he wouldn’t let you have that satisfaction. Everytime he felt you getting close, he would stop all motion. You were unraveling into a helpless puddle of lust with the way your pussy had drenched everything under you, including his cock. Your hips subconsciously grinding against the air for a desperate sweet release when he would leave you. You could hear him chuckle at the pathetic site. You weren’t just humiliated, but completely subordinated to his power. 

“Tell me what you want.” Idia tried hiding the growl in his voice, but there was no denying he was as animalistic as you.

All you could do was yell and whimper through the gag. He knew you couldn’t talk, but seeing you like this was ecstasy for him. He knew once everything was over you might just kill him for the way he was messing with you.

“I think I know… you want this, right?” 

He moved back into you.  Another deep moan left your lips as nodded at his gesture, trying to close your thighs to trap him in his place.

Idia was starting to pity you,  grinding his hips, he eventually fastened his pace again. The sound of slapping skin and disgruntled moans had you two now selfishly chasing your highs. 

He fucked you even harder than before as he felt himself getting closer. His cock was more than enough for you, your breath hitching with the size and inhuman pace. 

You felt the feeling in your stomach reach its climax, spasming, back arching through the confines of your rope, arms pulling and tugging over the cuffs, legs trying to flail. Idia felt your hot slick drown his dick inside your walls, before continuing to pound into you. 

He wasn’t stopping or slowing, bringing you into overstimulation, within minutes you felt another round of knots grow inside your nether-regions before you came again. This time you squirted on him while he had pulled out, some of your fluids shooting onto his chest, dripping down to his abs. His finger ran over his body to take a bit of your cum and taste it. 

“Can you do that again?” His signature smirk plastered onto his face. 

He went back to fucking you. Again, and again. After you had climaxed about four times he felt himself getting closer to orgasm, burying his cock deep inside you to release his seed. 

The feeling of his hot liquid in you was like mercy, a Hail Mary. You were so ruined your brain couldn’t think, your body was shaking, your core twitching and fluttering, aching to have him back in you but your legs couldn’t even move anymore. Both of your chests were heaving for air; Idia ran his hands through his hair which was damp with sweat as he took a moment to compose himself. He admired the way your pussy was absolutely filled to the brim with his cum and leaking. With the way he had abused your cunt he was convinced you wouldn’t be able to walk for at least a week. After all, this experience gave him valuable information about your endurance as a human. But still you took him so well, he thought. 

He took the gag from your mouth, jaw aching, closing for the first time in what seemed like hours. Idia placed a tender kiss on your lips to comfort you.

But he was still not quite content. 

“You have to keep this in you, okay?” he cooed in your ear before gently fixing a strand of hair. 

Idia placed something inside your cunt, it was another vibrator. He buried it in like a plug to keep all his cum inside. 

“I-Idia… enough… Idia…” You plead before it turned on in sync with the one in your ass. 

The fatigue you felt in your body was so overwhelming you struggled to even keep your eyes open, but the sudden wave of new pleasure had you practically crying in an overstimulated frenzy. 

Indeed you had learned to never upset this man again.

“I think you should stay like this for a bit, while I go work on the files I lost because of you. Is that okay, princess? I think it is. After all, it would be a shame for me to let you go like this so soon.” 

Your eyes shot back open at the statement. “Idia! I- s-stop this… please… Idia. Idia… Idia!” your voice echoing through the room while Idia left your presence to go sit at his laptop nonchalantly, ignoring you.

You tried yelling his name again, but they came out more as moans than anything else. How many times have you climaxed already? You stuttered and whined, but the way you kept writhing on his bed and begging him to come back made him not want to stop anytime soon. 

“If you keep behaving like this, I might come back… but no guarantee we’ll be ending things when I do, princess.”

[jadetheblueartist]

Does anybody have any tips for actually meeting people and making genuine connections irl? Bc I (an extremely anxious autistic) do not get it. (Kinda vent ahead ig?)

I feel like school is the place a lot of people my age would do that, but I don’t get how that works bc during school I just do school. Then there are some activities outside of school, but they’re all so stressful I can barely go to any of them. Lots of loud and crowded environments for hours on end.

And when I do manage to talk to people and be friendly, it always seems like such a surface level ritual. Hi, how are you, oh I’m doing good, that’s great, niceties, niceties, etc. I don’t feel like I’m making any real connections with anyone I’m around, which I assume I’d try to help by being around them more, but it’s very difficult for me to do that bc all the times I could be around them more I just feel like throwing up, sobbing, and running away simultaneously.

It probably doesn’t help that my only experience with friendship so far has been family and what at least started as a sort of online friend. I made my first actual friend in Covid since we went to the same school and bonded over an acquaintance’s story that she wrote (special interest) during Covid. We messaged a bunch before actually talking irl and then when we did it was easy bc it was about an interest. But since they outgrew the interest we kinda drifted and now I’m back at square one. That’s why online friends seem so dope I think. This is the only way I’ve known to make friends.

But I don’t really know what to do now. I vaguely know I few people at the new school I’m at, and they seem fine. But I don’t really see it going anywhere past friendly acquaintances. And I try to be nice and stuff? But I do t really know how I come off so maybe I’m messing it up.

According to my mother (who was one of the teachers at my old very small school), people liked me. However, I’m 80% sure people like the polite people pleaser that I was for most of my life. Once I started having opinions, standing up for my beliefs, and disagreeing with people, I started to notice a shift. The reason my best friend and I stopped talking was bc I developed beliefs, and we didn’t match up at all. And I’m not exactly upset since I like that I’m able to have opinions now, but I think people just didn’t see a reason to really care one way or another, but since I was polite they were chill. I still wanna be nice but I’d also like to have opinions without running people off.

I wouldn’t really be too concerned with this if not for the fact that my mom is always worried about me not having irl friends. I’ve made peace with being alone since I like it most of the time anyway and have come to learn to be more independent (since my last friendship was really just me attaching to her as a comfort person I think). And I kinda don’t want to “waste time” on a relationship since this is my last year of high school and most people don’t stay friends after high school. I literally haven’t talked to any of the people I’d been “friends” with for seven years since the end of the last school year. But I still feel like having a friend would be good, I just don’t want it to be for nothing and end as soon as we aren’t near each other every day.

Then I think, well maybe this is just gonna be really difficult. Maybe this is how being autistic can be disabling. I kinda want to tell my mom this and hope she’d try to do something else but think she’d just pull a “you can’t use that as an excuse.” Right now it just seems like she doesn’t get it completely. Like yes, I’d like friends, but going away to a random place to congregate with peers I barely know in a very close area with risks of being touched for an entire day? That makes it very difficult.

And I also feel like everybody will kinda suck. Like this is a private Christian school I’m at so why can’t people just stop using slurs and making fun of disabled people? I probably have too high standards or something, but since I’m fine with being alone idk that it matters too much. My mom just wanted to put me in a bigger school for more friend opportunities, so if I don’t make friends I feel like she’s gonna be upset and think that I’m not trying but I am it’s just really hard.

Idk this kinda went all over the place, I just need some advice. How and where do you people make friends?

[wosoobsessed]

Jen Beattie- Anxious day

Request: please please please write something sweet and soft for jen beattie🙏🏻🙏🏻 maybe r has some anxiety or has had a busy day and jen makes it all better

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Today was awful. From spilling coffee in your clean car. To not scoring any goals during training. You felt like the world had gone against you today and you were totally exhausted.

You tried rlly hard to be a positive person but sometimes it was hard when your anxiety would cause you overthink simple things. Anxiety was something you had dealt with For a while now and most people were unaware other then your close teammates, family and your girlfriend Jen. You and Jen had always been each others comfort blankets there was nothing you looked forward to more than going home and seeing your beloved girlfriend.

So you did. As soon as you had finished training you got changed, picked up your bag and got in your Coffee smelling car to head home. Since it was international break Jen had sometime off meaning that you could go home to your shared flat and she would be there waiting for you.

You walked up to the door of your home, lazily forcing the key in hole. You pushed the door open and you instantly felt the heat of your home. You walked in and called your girlfriend.

“Babe I’m home” you announced throwing your bags and keys on the table loud enough that she would hear your presence.

Suddenly a tall figure appeared in the doorway. Jen quickly walked over to you she was wearing her arsenal jumper and a pair of black leggings.

“ baby your home!!” Jen exclaimed wrapping her long arms around your smaller figure. You just burried your head in her neck and letting out a long sigh and trying to control the tears of tiredness that had started to fill your eyes. Jen pulled away and studied your face before giving you a worried look.

“ babe…you okay” the brunette asked with caution in her voice. The softness of her words were enough to set off the water works.

You walked into the living room sitting on the sofa with you head in your hands. Jen came and sat beside you pulling you into her embrace and kissing your head. A few moments later you sat up wiping your eyes on the arm of your hoody before looking up at your girlfriend who had the same sad look in her eyes.

“Do you wanna tell me what’s got you upset baby?” Jen softly said placing her hand on your thigh and rubbing it soothingly.

You sighed before talking.

“I’m sorry Jen I’ve just had a such a terrible day my anxiety has been driving me mad” you said the exhaustion and frustration evident on your face.

Jen didn’t say anything just layed down on the sofa and pulled you down with her, wrapping both her arms around your waste,hugging you tightly and pulling down a blanket onto the both of you.

You felt content for the first time in that day. Calmness filled your body as you melted into her body and sitting up slightly to softly kiss her lips.

“ I love you y/n you know that right?” Jen questioned breaking the silence.

“ i know baby. But I love you so much more.” You softly replied. Before interlocking your hand with hers and kissing her knuckles.

“ it’s me and you baby always and forever” Jen said before you both drifted of to sleep.

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A/N : hope you enjoyed. I love writing these so keep the requests coming. 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[luveline]

small vent (please don’t read if it will stress you out or if you’re young — cw of past self harm and unhappiness but I am in no active danger and there’s nothing to worry about, but also just mentioning that in case someone were to open this and then get surprised by the content)

I feel so lonely lately and I don’t know what to do because i feel like I am making an effort to connect with people, maybe I’m not, but I feel as though I am and it’s just really frustrating to have that disconnect of what I feel like I’m doing and the actual result of it, I feel like no one really wants to talk to me, does that make sense? Like I can’t actually have a conversation with anyone, and I’m not blaming anyone for this, because I’m not a good conversationalist, this isn’t me trying to make bad people out of anybody at all but just I’m so frustrated and so lonely and it’s not getting any better. and of course as tends to happen I feel like, really down( and like time is slipping through my fingers, and I feel like I can’t do anything I want to do because I end up worrying or upset about something instead, I can’t stop thinking about stuff I’ve said or things I need to do or things other people have said and what I thought they’re thinking of me. I used to basically feel like this all the time a few years ago but it was going away, until recently when I feel very alone and like it’s worse than it was. I also feel super pathetic once again for putting this here instead of a diary but it’s hard sometimes to not want to know what you guys think, like —is this normal? I worry I’m too concerned with myself

I’ve also been thinking a lot for the last few weeks about hurting myself, because I used to in the past. I won’t do it of course and like if I were to do it it’s not as though I would want to mention that here because I know it’s catching and it hurts people because hurting yourself shouldn’t be presented as an option and it isn’t an option, so I won’t do it, but I do want to hurt myself because I just don’t feel well!! I actually did contact my doctor a few days ago to talk about how I am and my health but they haven’t gotten back to me yet. I know that it’s not how you should cope with bad feelings, but it’s also the only thing that’s ever worked for me

I think all in all I feel really alone, and I feel like I’m always embarrassing myself, like, I feel like the people around me are embarrassed of me. I don’t know why I feel so bad and if it’s normal or not. Like, should I more urgently go and see my doctor, or does everyone struggle feeling such low self esteem? I know life is hard for everybody, and for many much harder than I’ll ever experience, and so I’m caught feeling very ashamed of myself and alone, and like I’m doing things wrong but unaware of it. It’s a relief at least to not be suicidal because in the past I would get so anxious about things I would get tunnel vision and I’d need it to stop, whereas now I just feel quite depressed (sorry if that’s the wrong word) about it. I wish I could identify what it is that’s throwing me off kilter so badly. I hope it’s okay to talk about this here because I don’t think anyone will understand in my life how I’m feeling, I try to talk about it with my mam sometimes but she’s not the most empathetic person, or like she’s too empathetic maybe, and if I tell her I’m feeling depressed she’ll say me too and then guide the conversation about her life without really giving me a chance to speak to her about what’s really on my mind, or she might tell me (again) to go on ozempic (which I do not medically need). And I love my sisters but I can’t tell them either, so it’s just like desperately wanting to confide in someone, but everyone else is too busy

I think my life is just a black hole forever, you know, I don’t mean to be upset about it because things are better than they were, but it’s hard knowing that I’m not experiencing what other people are, and that I’m not connecting with people, and that I’m hard to like