#it’s not impossible that he just macgyvered his way out of it

[heyclickadee]

This is honestly not a developed enough thought to go in any of my tin foil “Tech’s Alive” rambles, but I think we’re discounting the highly improbable but not entirely implausible possibility of Tech ripping a panel off of the rail car and turning it into a rudimentary aerofoil.

[wesleysniperking]

Straw Hat real world Fighting Styles/Martial Arts (TL;DR)

I was on Reddit a while back and someone asked what Martial Arts each Straw Hat would practice in real life, here’s a person’s take (it’s posted below—at the very end).

For the most part I was okay with it. EXCEPT for Usopp’s!

It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo half-a**ed. I understand the person may have been joking or completely serious, but guess what? As an Usopp fan that sh*t hit like whiplash. Therefore, I want to explain what Usopp’s fighting style/martial arts would be (especially if Usopp didn’t have a weapon like everyone is so focused on when determining his style). And I’m going to say it would consist of:

Model Mugging, MacGyver-ing, and a little bit of Krav Maga. Any normal everyday average person can do each one. It’s relatable (Usopp is the normal guy) given people want to learn an easy or the most effortless self defense. Especially if that person has a butt load of intelligence, street smarts, an avoidance problem, and high self preservation.

Model Mugging

Why? Because Model Mugging was made for normal everyday people who want to prevent assault and to fight off the person who is attempting the assault.

This is what Wikipedia says:

“Model Mugging attempts to turn the adrenaline reaction to an active response rather than a fear response through simulated attacks and group talk sessions.”

Usopp works well under pressure, is intelligent, and all about self perseverance. He often tries to fight against his fear and anxiety. The origin of the fighting style is an unfortunate tale but if you read the origin you’d understand how Model Mugging is made for the every-day person. It’s very convenient and easy to learn (if we’re talking strictly fighting).

(It’s literally a basic self-defense course you’d take at a community center or your nearest YMCA).

MacGuyver-ing

This is reference to a TV show and character named MacGyver who used his surroundings and cleverness to fight off culprits and the bad guys. He’s a very good engineer (sound familiar?) and is very intelligent. Ironically, he didn’t believe in guns (😉). Regardless, it’s not like Oda ever uses Usopp’s weaponry skills to his advantage.

I was reading an article and the author put it the best way possible:

“To MacGyver from a martial arts sense is to find a way to work around whatever problem or situation that we have which is confronting us. In MacGyver-ing there is no blueprint, so it is really a mindset.”

Usopp works well under pressure, is good at mind games, and telling from the Chew fight, Miss Merry Christmas and Mr. 4 fight, and Perona fight, that’s as McGyver-ing as you can get. This article really brings it home the best. (Please read!).

Overall, McGyver-ing fits Usopp because the fighting style is all about preservation, improvisation, and using unorthodox/unlikely weapons (all about the environment).

Krav Maga

Basically Usopp’s overall fighting style would consist of defensive (on defense). Let’s just get that out the way.

The redditor didn’t think of that it seems.

So, Krav Maga is something that Usopp would have to will himself to learn based on whatever purpose. They say Krav Maga is easy to learn but hard to master. But anyone (of any shape, size, and form) can learn Krav Maga. It focuses solely on real world situations. Usopp doesn’t need anything flashy, he wouldn’t feel the need to do anything more besides to use it to fight off people who are trying to harm him (so he can run the heck away), and this Wikipedia article puts it best:

“Like most martial arts, Krav Maga encourages students to avoid physical confrontation.[5] If this is impossible or unsafe, it promotes finishing a fight as quickly and aggressively as possible. Attacks are aimed at the most vulnerable parts of the body, and training is not limited to techniques that avoid severe injury; some even permanently injure or cause death to the opponent.”

So, alkair20 could’ve taken more time to consider Usopp’s martial art/fighting style. Sure, Usopp’s all about weaponry (that’s where MacGyver comes in), but he’s also about improvisation and using the environment to his advantage. He’s always on the defense and finding the easiest way out (Model Mugging and Krav Maga). So he can still use his Usopp hammer, Usopp dash, etc etc because it’s his defense.

(Heck, if you want to go for fictional martial arts, Ninjitsu isn’t entirely as legit as people make it out to be, unlike Naruto, people back then in ancient times considered it cowardly. You ambush people, hide in the shadows, and use shurikens and rope darts)

🥷🏽🥷🏽🥷🏽

Alas, extremely disappointed in the lack of effort. What the heck is Nanto Bakusatsu Ken? What an insult.

Seriously, a fictional fighting style that requires one move is all you’ve got? alkair20.

Reddit post

Article 1

Article 2

Article 3

Usopp fan club (join if you want to)

[thegnomelord]

I've got some questions about your cyberpunk reader sagau idea like—

What exactly does Reader's body mods allow? Like, how do they enhance the body? Why abilities do they grant to reader? What limitations are there and do they limit Reader's in ways an organic body wouldn't

Before and during the hunt for Reader, how do they maintain their artificial components? Do any of them break beyond repair forcing reader to leave them behind?

Also the Reader having body mods for conquest is a great explanation for why it takes so fucking long for them to bleed. They're too fucking invincible to bleed unless they get done in real hard.

What do people like Dainsleif or Dottore's think of reader and their body mods? I mean the body mods were compared to Khaenri'ah's machinery and Dottore is Dottore.

Is anyone against hunting down Reader? If so, for what reasons?

These are some good questions but I haven't thought all of them through, but so far:

1. When writing the first idea, I imagined the reader being a bit like militech version of Adam Smasher, with bits of my own V from cyberpunk 2077 mixed in i.e. 60-70% of the body being converted to metal with only the head and chest organ area mostly fleshy. So the reader would be durable AF, capable of shrugging off a couple of blows from the archons assuming they didn't use elemental powers, incredible strength and speed, increased jump height and other combat mods like mantis blades or rocket launchers.

2. As for limitations; cyberpsychosis would be the main problem because of just how many mods they have. From a more physical side — blending in is damn near impossible, and all that cyberware is heavy, so it's going to be a challenge not waking up half of teyvat when going for a walk and swimming would also be difficult/our of the question as you'd just sink to the bottom.

Also, the electro element would be quite dangerous, as any attack would act like an EMP blast which could short-circuit important life-preserving systems.

2.5. currently I'm also headcannoning that the combat cybermods require A Lot of energy, and if you don't have that, the body will forcefully shut down for like 72h to generate energy, regardless of where you are...

3. I haven't thought about mods breaking, but I think the reader might be able to MacGyver old Khaenri'ahn tech to replace broken/lost pieces, though it wouldn't be a perfect match — like wearing boots two sizes too small. Before the hunt the reader really wouldn't need to do that, as their tech is durable as all hell and would have only needed cleaning once in a while.

4. Dottore, as a scholar, would be incredibly intrigued. He didn't believe in the divine, though he acknowledged their existence, but the reader would be something else... Like the pinnacle of human evolution, the seamless blending of flesh and steel would entrance him past the point of obsession. He may have enough self-control not to try and disassemble the reader, but be prepared for days worth of ceaseless questions, and his experiments would only grow more gruesome and brutal if you do not put a stop to it.

As for Dainslief... He would be conflicted. The reader's body would remind him too much of the horrors Khaenri'ah and it's leader inflicted on others, and of the war machines still wreaking havoc across Teyvat. But the reader bearing similarities to said machines, which once protected his home, protected him, would also make him feel...comfort? Idk how to describe it, but it's like the feeling of knowing someone is looking out for you, even when you have lost everything.

5. As for who's against the hunt; Barbados comes to mind because he too is an impostor and would be a hypocrite if he felt otherwise, though he keeps such thoughts to himself.

Nahida because she is connected to Teyvat so deeply that it's feelings would mingle with her own, and she couldn't shake the wrongness she feels when near the Impostor.

Alhaitham too, but his is more logical deduction; why would a creator try to fit into the standards made by their creations? It's utterly foolish to base their belief off an imagined appearance when it is your actions they should see.

Also the harbingers and the Tsaritsa, but those I'd say are pretty obvious as they seek to destroy Celestia, and a betrayed creator seems like the perfect rallying call.

______

This was reallyong and it's all up for change if I actually end up writing this, but this is just by thoughts rn lol.

[killemwithkawaii]

Oh no now I’m thinking about sex with merman sal 😩💕 tucked away in a secret cove, halfway in the sun-warmed waters….oh but I can only imagine a land-dweller’s hand would be SO much warmer…gently rubbing your fingertips over that special slit until his cock starts to peek out 💕 so much longer than a human’s…maybe even prehensile/tentacle like so he doesn’t have to move his body to fuck you, he can just wrap his arms and tail tight around your body to hold you as close as possible

I forgot about mer!sal for a hot minute but now I remember so thank you and enjoy UwU 👌💕💦

Sex with Mer!Sal-

[CW: NSFW lemon/grapefruit, teratophilia, unsanitary, unprotected sex, reader is AFAB with neutral pronouns, readers body is referred to as ‘exotic’ because they’re a human getting fucked by a merman and this is all new to him but he’s very, very into it]

>I originally imagined Mer!Sal hanging out under the docks on the lake a lot (where he looks for food, searches for trinkets and observes the humans that come to the lake from beneath the boards) but he needs a safe place to sleep and keep his stuff (some of which needs to be kept dry). A little tucked-away cove (maybe hidden away by a thick curtain of weeping willow vines and surrounded by a steep rock face) would be absolutely perfect! 

>Him taking you there would be just like him taking you to his room, and it’s a very big deal. He’s never voluntarily taken a human there before, and has gone to great lengths to discourage people from getting close to the entrance (scattering broken glass and rubbish on the beach to discourage swimmers, sticking branches in the mud at the lakebottom and hooking discarded fishing nets to them so that they’d snag the propellers of motorboats, weaving the vines hanging from the treeline so that they grew in tangled messes above the surface and make it nearly impossible to pass without cutting your way through…).

>After earning his trust over many hours of conversation through charades (and quite a few gifts of novelty trinkets and ‘exotic’ foods), he decides he wants to show you his secret hideaway. He gently tugs your arm and points to get you to swim where he leads, letting you hang onto his shoulders if you’re not great in the water, and guides you through the maze of vines until you both emerge into the half-sunned cove.

>Sal leads you to the far side of the clearing, in the warm shallows and under the protection of a mossy overhang, where he’s made himself a ‘home’. The setup is surprisingly tidy (for a creature that lives outside)- His collections of human odds-and-ends are thoughtfully displayed on the rocks and roots near the waterline he uses as shelving, including some old beach toys, pool floaties, jewelry, coins, shiny metal scraps, flashy fishing lures, and various other discarded items he’s gathered off the beach and from the bottom of the lake, but most of the things he's collected are carefully sorted and stored in coolers and tackle boxes for safe-keeping (of course, he’s very excited to have someone to show all of this to, and you make an admittedly slightly-exaggerated show of being impressed by what some would consider a lot of meticulously-sorted trash). The centerpieces of his collection are a few lovingly macgyvered musical instruments and a beat-up boom box (both of which he plays to try to impress you).

>He also makes a point to show you that he’d fashioned himself a surprisingly comfy looking daybed inside an abandoned row boat, using life jackets and beach towels as cushions. You’d seen him comfortably sunning himself and snoozing on rocks and fallen logs plenty of times, so you’re not really sure why he’d go through the trouble of putting together a ‘bed’, until you remember that time you stood from the dock and commented that your butt was a little sore from sitting on the wood for so long, only for Sal to swim away and come back a few minutes later with a few (soggy) towels for you to sit on…

>You point to him, then to the ‘bed’, then to yourself. “Did you make this for me?” He sinks a little lower into the water and nods, bringing his webbed hands above the surface. He held one hand flat and hung two fingers of the other over the side to mime the act of sitting on a platform, bobbing and sliding the sign so it was clear there were two figures sitting together, then pointing to you, then at himself, then to the ‘bed’, and finally pressed his hand into the ‘cushion’ to show it was soft. “I made it for the two of us to sit together comfortably.” You smile at him and waste no time climbing right in to try it out. He follows and settles in next to you, the boat rocking a little on the water with the weight shift.

>When you’d first arrived, he’d seemed very sure of himself, like 'look at all my cool stuff aren't you so impressed?' but he got visibly nervous and fidgety when you were finally in the ‘bed’ he’d made for you to share. He kept a respectful distance, his ears fluttering ever so slightly when he glanced in your direction and saw you were staring at him and not the view of the cove like he’d expected. Realizing you’d probably have to make the next move, you stretch out on the ‘bed’, closing the gap between you by slowly twirling a lock of his wet, blue hair around your finger for a minute. He was frozen until you turned and threw a leg over what could be considered his lap and nuzzled into his neck, dragging your nose and lips against the frills of his gill slits. You could tell he was starting to lose his shit by the way his fins were bristling and his tail kept flicking back and forth along the surface of the lake, but he still managed to put his arm over your shoulder and gingerly take your hand from his hair to guide it to his chest, signaling he wanted more contact, and then pressed his cold, uneven lips to yours, just like you’d taught him. (He didn’t know what kissing was before you showed him, but he was very impressed once you’d given him a demonstration.)

>From there, neither of you would knew what the fuck you were doing. While you both trusted each other, you figured you’d kind of have take the lead the first time, since he always seemed to be afraid he would scare or hurt you by accident. It was all very exploratory- feeling him all over, learning the different textures of his scales, noting what touches made his gills flutter open or made his ears perk up. Your hands were so warm and relaxing, gliding up and down his cool body… he ended up lying back and letting you do as you please- until you found the now-swollen slit between his dorsal fins and started giving it light, experimental presses. 

>That makes him sit up on his elbows, but he doesn’t stop you- he just watches slack-jawed, his good eye half-closed, as your fingertips run up and down the opening, which was gradually parting and becoming slicker by the minute. As gently as possible, you put your fingers on either side of his slit and pull them apart, allowing a purplish, finger-tip sized nub to peek through. You couldn’t help but think it looked kind of cute… You barely grazed over it with your palm, and his gills flared open as he gasped at the touch. A few slow clicks escaped his open mouth, and he nodded when you looked up at him to check if what you were doing was alright. You kept going, prodding at the entrance, tracing around it, shallowly dipping your fingers in, grazing over the nub as it gradually unsheathed itself from his body and steadily swelled in size, making it very obvious to you that he was indeed a very impressive male specimen… It was exciting to see, albeit increasingly intimidating and certainly not what you would call ‘cute’ anymore. You looked from it to him and back again, biting your lip as you held eye contact and finally gave it a firm squeeze. 

>He gave a sharp exhale and turned on his side toward you, carefully pressing on your shoulder so that you were lying on your back against the lifejacket cushions. He pressed his mouth to yours again and slid his clawed, webbed hand over your skin, so gently you felt the need to grab his wrist and show him that you weren’t as fragile as he thought you were. You pressed his palm firmly against your body and curled your hand over his to encourage him to take a grip of your flesh. He did, and you felt his nails dig in just enough to coax a whimper out of you. You felt him try to draw back, mistaking your sound of pleasure as one of pain, before you stuck your tongue between his sharp teeth and held fast to his wrist, keeping his hand against you, guiding him downwards and bucking your hips to signal an invitation for him to continue. Now more sure of himself, he took his time in thoroughly exploring the exotic structures of your hips and thighs and ass, his cock twitching and slick against your leg, until he finally cupped your pussy above your swimsuit and dragged a few claws along the slit. You fumbled around to remove your garments, admittedly a little clumsy now that your head was swimming, but you confidently spread your legs to reveal yourself to him once they were off. He just stared at you for a few moments, and you began to wonder if he didn’t like what he saw until he sat up to get a much closer look.

>He spread your thighs wider and shoved his face within an inch or two of your crotch, tilting his head a little, inspecting you from multiple angles with a curious look on his face. Not negative at all, just a little perplexed…

“Uh, you can…” you reached down and parted yourself with your fingers, rubbing over your clit, petting along the lips and dipping a finger inside in demonstration, “Like this…”

>You removed your hand so he could try it for himself, and the first thing he did was softly pat your pubic hair and look absolutely delighted at the texture, taking some of the curls between his fingers and playing with them. He gave some excited clicks and looked up at you, and you couldn't help but giggle a little before he really started prodding around in the same exploratory way you’d been feeling him up before. He ran his fingers and claws along your lips, repeatedly parting them and letting them close again, running his palm over your clit (much like you’d done to him), and finally, just barely letting a claw breach your entrance, once again looking at you to get the greenlight. You nodded, and he carefully put it the rest of the way in, the webbing adding an interesting additional sensation. You held up two fingers, and he added another, then you moved them back and forth, and he began to gently fingerfuck you, watching as his digits sunk in and out of you, becoming increasingly wet and warm…

>The curiosity on his face slowly morphed into hunger. He started going a little harder, a little faster, then gave an experimental twist of his wrist that made his claw graze against your g-spot and got you to thilt your head back and moan. You felt teeth dragging against you, a cold tongue on your thigh. You grabbed him by the hair and guided him to where you needed him, putting your fingers in the shape of a V and putting your tongue through when he looked up for guidance. He got the message and compiled, twisting his fingers in you and lapping at your clit. It was strange and new and fucking delicious, and it wasn’t long before your were coming around his fingers, your involuntary spasms rocking the boat. He didn’t quite know what he had done, beyond it being very enjoyable for the both of you, and you had to scoot back and lift his jaw to get him to stop and look back up at you. After catching a few breaths, you pointed to him, pointed to yourself, made a circle with the thumb and pointer finger of one hand and put the pointer finger of the other through it, and then made a ‘come hither’ motion. ‘Come up here and fuck me.’

>He scooted back up on the cushions, and you wasted no time in guiding and positioning yourself under him. His cock was (presumably) fully on display now- impressively long, thick in the middle and tapered at the head, with firm, flexible ridges along the underside, and so slick with its own thick lubrication that it left strings trailing behind and connecting it with wherever it had touched. You spread your legs, guiding it to and rubbing it against your pussy, letting him know exactly where you wanted him. Sal let out a shuddering sigh against your ear, and to your surprise, his cock pushed forward from his slit while the rest of his body stayed in place, allowing you both to watch as it gradually penetrated you. With each ‘thrust’ it went a little deeper, stretched you a little more, cold and textured and slimy, a surprisingly pleasing contrast to how hot and swollen you felt inside after having already enjoyed an orgasm from his tongue and teeth and claws. 

>Once you were comfortable taking it all, he pressed his body fully against yours and brought you into a tight hug, and you wrapped your limbs around him in return. It was admittedly odd, getting fucked so deep and so thoroughly while your partner gently nuzzled his scarred face into your hair and trembled and sighed with pleasure in your arms, but it was wonderfully intimate- gentle yet rough, comforting but intense, making love in perfect privacy while simultaneously fucking like animals out in the open…. 

>You felt his fins and gills start to twitch and bristle like you hadn’t before, his breath coming in quick gasps and clipped patterns of clicks escaping his throat. You babbled and moaned encouragement, “Yes, come, come in me, this feels so good, please, come in me…” even if he didn’t know what the word ‘come,’ meant yet, he understood your tone, your moaning like you were doing before, and body language, your panting and clinging and grinding your hips in tandem with his thrusts, and knew that it meant you enjoyed it, and that he could continue until he was finished. 

>His hold on your became extremely tight, his clicks and sighs giving way to breathy hisses and his tail slapping against the water until he arched his back and bared his pointed teeth, bellowing something between a hiss and a roar, his cock twitching and spilling an impressive amount of cool, thick come as deep inside of you as it could reach. He went slack in your arms, trilling softly and curling his tail around you, and you kissed his head and ran your hand along his back as he came down from his orgasm, his cock slowly receding from your pussy where he’d left it and back inside himself. 

>You stayed like that for a while, the ‘bed’ softly rocking you and lulling him to sleep, the breeze across the sparkling water of the cove rustling the vines of the willows above you. It was so peaceful and relaxing, a beautiful view in the perfect secluded spot… you were really happy he’d decided to show you his ‘home’. You’d have to tell him so, once he woke up from his post-sex snooze. For now, you’d just enjoy the view and the feeling of his scales as you relaxed on the bed he’d made for the two of you to share. It was really comfortable, and after today, you were looking forward to spending a lot more time in it with him.... 💙

[possibly-god]

Kelly Phillips – the Trapper

(1975 – 9/2000 – 34)

It is practically impossible for a normal human being to reach Tavish DeGroot’s level of drunk – but after that stunt her husband pulled, with a little sympathy and a lot of scrumpy, damn if Linda Phillips-Green didn’t get close.

When Linda discovered the pregnancy, she’d hoped that it was her husband’s, hoped that a baby could pull together their rocky relationship – and then everything fell apart when little Kelly came out the wrong color.

After the divorce, Linda hunted Tavish down for child support and managed to get his address. Unfortunately, Tilly DeGroot managed to get to her letters first – tradition is tradition no matter what her soft-hearted son might think, no contact with the girl until her first explosion.

Despite her strict suburban upbringing, Kelly somehow managed to inherit the DeGroot family eyesight troubles, requiring coke-bottle glasses to see anything more than shapeless colors (though the lenses are as good as any lighter for starting fires).

While helping her mom clip coupons from the Sunday paper, 5-year-old Kelly stumbled across the cartoons of Rube Goldberg. Over time, amusement bloomed into interest, and she began using toys and trash to build prototypes – and brainstorm pranks.

Needing a respectable way to get her crazy kid out of the house while she worked, Linda enrolled Kelly in the local Girl Scout troop when she was 7. She hoped the organization would give her some discipline – the activities just gave her more ideas.

As the chubby, dorky, four-eyed illegitimate biracial daughter of a WASP-y divorcee with a complex about their tax bracket, Kelly, unsurprisingly, carries a lot of insecurities – her inventions provide her an escape, an outlet for all her pent-up energy.

Before the REDs showed up, Kelly was instrumental in the kidnappees’ escape plan – no one bothers to check the 4th grade Girl Scout’s bag for duct tape, twine, firecrackers, and a Swiss army knife.

It takes Demoman a while (and a bender) to come around to having a kid, but he eventually sees through his own guilt and shock enough to get to know Kelly as a person – he sees a lot of himself in her, for better or worse.

Kelly gets a lot of needed encouragement on base – Hedy and Engie provide inventing mentorship, Scout emphatically endorses her pranking skills, and Pyro throws “girls nights” for her and Rosa (more on her later).

One could argue the REDs indulge her creativity a bit too much, with some of her designs looking less Home Alone and more Saw – though when OHM comes knocking again, some of those more intense creations come in quite handy.

As soon as OHM is squared away, Demo has three priorities – getting visitation and custody established with Linda (Soldier is his lawyer), getting his mother into assisted living (keeping his child from him was the last straw, she’s out of his house), and getting sober (ish – it’s Demo).

In high school, Kelly joins the theater department as a tech and quickly makes a name for herself between inventive stagecraft and running tech rehearsals like the navy (her “firework shop explosion” in You Can’t Take It With You was distressingly realistic, but not real enough for Granny Tilly’s approval).

During her brief stint in film school, Kelly watches MacGyver religiously, critiquing his technique all the while.

Despite dropping the diploma, Kelly Phillips-DeGroot becomes a big name in B-movies, creating low-budget high-impact practical effects that blow audiences away and elevate box-office bombs to cult classics (she gets an offer from KNB EFX, but the big time just has too many rules).

Entering the “sci-fi future” of 2000, Kelly hits a CG-induced career slump and starts feeling nostalgic for her roots, inventing and improvising for function over flash, letting her creations run wild without needing to pump the brakes – so when old friends from TFI come calling, she happily changes tracks and joins up as the Trapper.

Next up – the world’s most silent six-year-old…

TF2K Master Post

[chiosavince]

Three interesting Russian history facts!!?

Russian history is so interesting that it's hard to limit it to just 3.

The Soviets tried to abolish money...to disastrous results. During the Russian Civil War, the newly created USSR was breaking the bank trying to fund the Red Army, to the point of the early Ruble suffering from 11,000% inflation by 1922. But the Soviets weren't all that panicked by the implosion of the currency, because some were convinced that the new Communist society was going to be classless, stateless, and moneyless. There were ideas during the Civil War to replace money with a work-in-kind barter system, where your labor was the means by which goods and services were traded. Work at the factory, and the factory worker receives food, housing, and services instead of receiving a wage. And of course this received huge backlash by critics in the soviet government for sounding an awful lot like serfdom, and the Red Army eventually resorted to taking food and supplies at gunpoint due to the Ruble being worthless as a means to purchase such things. This never truly got off the ground though, and a moneyless society was backtracked on very quickly and a state bank was established for the USSR in 1922 after the first bank was shuttered in 1920.

The first spacewalk, while a huge accomplishment in the Space Race, was done in an an almost Macgyver-like way that was incredibly reckless and nearly ended in disaster. The Soviet Space Program was tasked with conducing the spacewalk by the Politburo in 1965, but the problem was that none of their spacecraft had an airlock that could open and close in space without risk to the spacecraft. So scientists were rushed to create an inflatable airlock strapped to the Voskhod 2 door to allow for a balloon tunnel that would act as an airlock. This worked in getting Alexei Leonov out of the spacecraft to do the first spacewalk, but he had immense trouble getting back in as his suit inflated in the vacuum of space, making it impossible for him to get back inside. After a few minutes of struggling to get back in the spacecraft, Soviet television cut off all broadcasting in fear of airing a cosmonaut dying on TV, but Leonov found a way to get through by letting the air out of his suit in order to become small enough to get through. He lost so much air that he risked suffocating, but he managed to get back in the spacecraft and accomplish the mission. 3. Catherine the Great did not officially remarry after ousting her husband, Peter III from power, but she probably had a second husband in Field Marshall Grigory Potemkin. It's known that the two were intimate, but personal correspondence has them calling the other 'my wife' and 'my husband' respectively, and was actually quite the scandal back in 18th Century Russia! Potemkin was accosted with accusations of receiving special treatment by Catherine and using his intimate relationship with her to advance his military career, and his own personal jealousy towards the power that Catherine held over him as Tsarina caused them to have a romantic falling out.

[rosieblogstuff]

5 chapters ago, Mac and Jack arrived at exfil to discover their exfil team had been murdered and the bad guys were lying in wait. A gunshot wound (or 2!), a plane crash, and a couple busted legs later, things are getting desperate...

The hike toward the building that Mac may or may not have seen from the air is slow going. Even now that the morphine’s kicked in, and Jack’s able to walk under his own power, their pace is snail-slow.

The stream they’re following zig-zags through the snowy landscape. They’re heading upstream, or what would be upstream if they could see any water. It’s cold enough, and the water movement slow enough, that the stream is frozen over and mostly hidden under piles of snow. It must be a larger stream in other seasons because the banks are wide and relatively flat. It’s a lucky break because any more difficult terrain might be impossible right now.

Between the splint, the drugs, the walking sticks, Jack remains upright and moving. But he’s dragging. Every step is slow and unsteady. He’s breathing harshly and they’re moving incredibly slowly.

If Mac helped him, they’d move faster. But Mac is struggling to keep his balance and carry the supplies.

The way the stream curves around trees, the airplane is out of sight quickly in spite of the slow pace. Mac briefly considers leaving a cairn to mark their direction, for when Phoenix exfil comes to find them, but it’s equally likely to lead any bad guys toward them, so he skips it. Not that it probably matters, since they’ve left a very visible trail of footsteps and he’s not up to disguising it right now.

Maybe he’ll come back later, or tomorrow, after he gets Jack settled.

At least there’s water nearby; the emergency kit has some, but they’ll need more tomorrow if nobody comes for them before then. The stream will provide that, at least until they run out of water treatment tablets. They also have fairly fresh snow. As long as they can find shelter, they can figure out the rest.

Ahead of him, Jack comes even with a tree that leans over the streambed and stops to rest against it. Mac comes up next to him and eyes the tree, but it’s not big enough for them both to lean on. He lets out a long breath and appreciates how he can just not move for a couple minutes.

“How are you doing?” he asks.

Jack’s whole body radiates exhaustion. In spite of the slow pace and the chill, his forehead has a sheen of sweat and he’s breathing like he’s been exercising. “‘M good. Just need a minute.” He’s standing stiffly, mouth pulled into a line.

(More on AO3)

[stormcrow513]

You know the part of the Colorado wolf debates that currently sending me because no one talks about it,

So some background here, Colorado wolves were killed out I believe 80 years ago,

Wildlife people have been fighting to bring them back

Who are they fighting?

Ranchers you know where your quarter pounder comes off,

The wildlife guys argue the over all crucialness of having wolves in the ecosystem

The ranchers argue that wolves destroy their livihoods by killing cattle

All of these things are true

And my background was growing up in the rodeo circuit, a lot of overlap with ranchers, while there were families like mine who owned horses to compete, those horse were bought fead and took care of so that my sister's could ride in the rodeos, we didn't breed cattle or anything like that, we weren't ranchers my sisters were competitors,

Anyway I've loved wolves from word go, probably cause I have been exposed to dogs since the womb, I didn't have loads of women thoch at me through my ma's belly I had dog noses lol,

And I realized that similarities between my dog Trampy and wolves and I love Balto so I knew wolf dogs were a thing,

I knew Trampy was a wolf dog and he was, well he treated me like I was one of his puppies he and Lady our German shepherd had puppies I grew up with them,

Point is even as a small child I couldn't understand shooting wolves it felt like you'd feel if someone in a suburban setting said I shoot dogs that step foot in my yard,

So I have been arguing with ranchers about wolves since I could speck,

Admittedly I was bad at it, I was scared to argue with men, I was scared of my father and I painted all men that age as potential dangerous, and I have speech problems that when nervous make it almost impossible to be clear in what I'm saying,

I wish that wasn't so because none of those men heated me so no conversation on this could be had,

When saying they need to kill the wives to protect cows the thing is it always comes back to,

Because that's how my forefathers did it,

Not we kill wolves cause that's cheapest,

Or easiest

They either say cause that's how my forefathers did it

Or because it's the only way,

So you got to group of ranchers,

Guys who think there's no other way

Or

Guys who think the only way it can be done is the way their forefathers did it,

The first, can't seem to comprehend how far tech is gotten

The other

Thinks technology their forefathers didn't have shouldn't be used

So the first guys need to work with some enventers like have some tech savvy fucks the macgyver type that understands the need for cost efficients and durability the fact that it's far from good cell wifi service, oh and need for ranchers to be able to fix it themselves, have someone like that spend a year with ranchers bet they could get everything going smoothly,

The real problem then becomes with the guys who want to again stick to the way their forefathers did it,

These guys are hard to reason with, just seen a show a bit back talking about something I knew of but never thought of this before

So

There's these cattle drives where these guys ride on their horse herding cattle from one bit of land to another and my dudes these can be real far away,

And more an more as time goes on they are having to go through or around people's property,

Cows die in this,

Yes the cows whose lives they kill in order to protect

They risk these cow lives when they could put em in a trailer and haul them to the other bit of land,

Like yes it costs money but your already losing money from the dead cows you dumb fuck,

Like they will not budge on this but do this guy's oh piss in toilets

Yes,

Have cell phones?

Yes

Cars trucks? ?

YES

So why is this out dated way of ranching the one you won't let go of?

*High Disclaimer*

[riflebrass]

Well last night was an adventure and it kinda sucked.

I view myself as a little bit of an idiot. Most of my bad ideas are for funzies though and in serious situations I look for a way to do stuff safely.

My sister on the other hand views herself as an intellectual and a strong independent woman. She has a big heart and wants to save everyone. Unfortunately she lacks common sense figuring she can MacGyver her way through any situation and save the day through sheer willpower alone. She HATES the damsel in distress cliche but through a series of dumb choices that's exactly what she ended up being.

We got a good amount of snow here and her friend's car went off the road. She wanted me to pull him out with my truck. I have no idea what conditions would be like so I refused to volunteer my truck. My tires are dogshit and I don't want to risk getting stuck myself.

Since I wouldn't volunteer my car she said she would pull him out with her car. It's a tiny lightweight car so it loses the game of gross tonnage. Also her tires aren't any better than mine. She asked me for tow chains so I said I didn't have any hoping that would dissuade her. It didn't. She said she was going out anyway to push the car back on the road. I got a bad feeling that more bad decisions were on the way so I tagged along.

Right off the bat she refused to bring a coat. I insisted that she bring one in case something goes wrong. She was certain there was no way this rescue mission could go wrong. So I put on a sweater and a coat to give her just in case.

We got to the chain up area and tried to get the chains on with no luck. No matter how many times I watch her put on chains I just can't figure it out so I'll own being a dumbass here. Anyway roads were looking good and nobody else was putting them on so she decided to continue without chains.

When we got to her friend we discovered just how fucked the situation was. The good news was that he was off in a ditch. There's no way to get him out without a heavy duty truck and a winch. All tow trucks and roadside service aren't sending anyone out because conditions are too dangerous. His car is stuck and we can't do a damn thing about it. I call this the "good" news because it only gets worse from here.

His car was in the middle of a very steep hill that was well shaded so it was extra cold. Earlier in the day the snow had melted but now it had refrozen into one big sheet of ice. We can't turn around and go back up and going down is looking really bad. Now is the moment she decides we should jack up the car and put the chains on. As expected while I jacked the car up the car started to slide.

About a hundred yards down the hill it leveled off for an intersection so we agreed to creep down there to try the chains again. Once we got to the flat area we came to the realization that her chains were too small and we were fucked. I suggested we start calling around to see if we can get a ride home and just leave the car. She didn't want to do this.

She decided she had to risk going the rest of the way down the hill because she couldn't spend the night out there. The locals told her it was impossible to safely go down the hill without chains. She immediately disregarded them saying she didn't have a choice. Finally I had to get more assertive. What happens if you crash? The car is stuck out here anyway. Is it really worth risking totaling your car? Is it worth serious injury? Is it worth dying? Let's call around and see if we can get some help.

Fortunately the friend she set out to rescue had another friend in the area. Originally he was just going to bring us chains but by the time he got to us he couldn't climb the hill. We would have to walk about another 400 yards down the hill, get the chains, trudge back up the hill, and dig out her tires before putting them on.

It was dark, it was 20 degrees, and she FINALLY admitted she should have brought a coat. So I convinced her to leave the car and ask for a ride home.

Shoutout to that guy for buying chains we didn't even use then spent a couple hours driving us home.

[phantom-does-a-thing]

hey, i love your fics and all your headcanons about the prime defenders! i love the way you do dakota's chronic pain (or something similar?), its a very unique one. can you tell me more about what you headcanon for each of them?

Oh! Hi sweet anon! I'm so glad that you like my prime defenders stuff! I love writing them and they are just so !!! to me.

Aha I never do talk about headcanons in public so I've never made a coherent list so I will do my best but I absolutely LOVE talking about this kind of stuff <3 headcanons my beloved. They will be under the cut!

this is really long btw.

you ask me to talk and I won't shut up.

William Wisp

this is my boy! My dude! Me FR! I think about him all the time uh headcanons tho hm.

His eyes glow in the dark

He's ALWAYS cold (doesn't produce his own body heat) and is just constantly shivering (I mention this one a lot in my fics)

Legs and hips are a little messed up, he walks with a limp (he is unaware that he does this but other people can notice it). Often hip and knee pain. Syrup brought up the idea to me of a ghost cane and I think about that a lot.

I think it would be funny (haha) if he's scared of the dark and claustrophobic

The claustrophobic one makes me a little insane bc he would know how irrational the fear is since he can literally... go intangible... if he's trapped in a small space he can get out of it.

I also think he would be very afraid of heights! y'know! makes sense!

He would like to sew I think. His main sweatshirt that he wears is just covered in embroidery and patches that he sewed on it.

He doesn't necessarily have food allergies but he does have a lot of sensitivities. He cannot digest much. (Onions, gluten, lactose, yknow food sensitivities).

Rigor mortis! LOL! I think sometimes he just straight up cant move yknow

I ALSO THINK that sometimes he just loses random senses. Like taste and smell. (I have a ghost character that has the same thing happen to him... Boy my beloved).

He sleepwalks a lot or otherwise just straight up doesn't get sleep yknow?

He knows so much obscure information it is INSANE and also a little frightening. He sends random articles to the groupchat in the middle of the night (poor Vyncent who has his ringer on all the time)

He also just like knows way too much and is scarily good at finding things on social media, he will be able to find a social media account within minutes (like my sister fr).

I think he would like cop or mystery shows like Criminal minds, Macgyver etc those type of shows idk. Maybe NCIS?

This isn't really about William but I think that the wisps mess with him whenever they're bored so he has just straight up resorted to giving them their own source of entertainment so they just leave him alone.

He has a record player that he puts on just so they can mess with it and so he can have a little bit of peace.

I think that electronics go a little funky in his presence, sometimes he just straight up cannot use his phone ("hey did you get my text?" "*phone screen is just static* no")

Speaking of texting, he pretty much NEVER responds to texts and either types for 10 minutes and sends a long paragraph response or types 10 minutes and responds with a singular emoji. It's impossible to tell which response it will be.

But if you want to get a hold of ANY of the boys, William is the best bet to text bc he will actually read his messages (he cannot have his phone off of silent bc he has to look at the messages right away, he just won't respond immediately. The message will be read tho).

He's a stress cleaner (when the rest of your life is falling apart at least you can control one aspect of it)

Will is absolutely ATROCIOUS at playing video games, he doesn't have the reaction time and much prefers making Dakota or Vyncent play a game and he'll watch

He's probably like the biggest impulse spender of the three and absolutely comes home from work with stupid things that he bought.

OH MY FAVORITE HEADCANON BECAUSE I AM PROJECTING!!!! BUT!!! BUT BUT!!!

I think that William has muscle issues in his eyes. His eyes cross a lot, especially when he's tired. He's SUPPOSED to wear glasses for it but he doesn't. He only ever wears his glasses when Tide (or Dakota) tells him to. He would have thick square framed glasses that he technically doesn't need to see but his eyes are still a little messed up.

Ok listen, William is from Deadwood. Deadwood is a real city in South Dakota. I think South Dakota should be real. William has the most rural midwestern vibes ever. In my head he is midwestern, he has to be. He needs a thick midwestern accent. He is a corn boy (hi Syrup)

Ok I've been talking about William wisp for too long I need to move on to someone else UHHHH.

Dakota Cole

He loves baking fr! baking and cooking is his specialty and I think besides Tide, he would be the one to cook for the boys.

Stress baker

Sits on the counter all the time (Will and Vyn are sit on the floor type guys).

His hair IS technically curly but it's so frizzy it's impossible to actually tell, it's just a mass of red fluff.

I think it would be REALLY funny if he was naturally ginger but dyes his hair redder.

I think he deserves freckles too, tons of freckles, all over his body

His stomach and the back of his neck is super sensitive (William constantly tortures him w cold hands to the back of his neck)

He is fr like a walking space heater, he is always hot and gives off so much heat

Weighted blankets aren't really heavy enough for him but he loves being compressed fr

I think he absolutely is so affectionate, a ton of casual touches and just like yknow. Hugs, arm around the shoulder, headbutts, nudges all that type of stuff. Personal space is not a thing w/ Dakota but he backs off quickly when it's not welcome.

He does give big hugs though and will tackle someone to the ground if he hasn't seen them in a while. Absolutely massive hugs. Big squeeze.

I think he also loves to hold hands whenever they're walking places he will hold hands with one of the boys.

Gift giving is his love language, he loves getting the boys things that reminds him of them.

He likes watching cooking and baking shows too, absolutely

He has so many joint problems, mostly in his hips and knees (bc that's where he fights mostly) but his back, shoulders and elbows hurt as well during times. He cannot sit on the floor for very long otherwise it will hurt.

Around the base he has various braces and stuff to help w that along w/ stretches and all that

He would be SO good at platformer games (cuphead, donkey kong, super mario bros etc)

Dakota will sit and do something for maybe half an hour at most and then move on to a different activity (exceptions for this are baking, watching tv with the other boys or crochet). Compared to Will and Vynce who could sit for hours doing something specific.

He would just have a ton of stim toys I think, there's a couple that he uses often but he does have a lot in general just bc he'll see one and think it's interesting enough to buy.

This is kind of for all three of them, but around the base they have whiteboards n stuff to draw on, he always draws pictures on the board. (Will and Tide are the only ones to leave actual notes, Vyncent just draws faces).

He has so many pillows on his bed, he would love pillows. Absolutely cozy fr.

Short. I don't care how tall he is on the character sheet. This dude is not over 5'5. He cannot reach the top shelf.

I think he likes fruit punch for his select choice of juice.

He is accidentally the mom friend and by that I mean he just knows his own body well enough to have stuff that he needs. It just happens that no one else in the friend group knows how to take care of themselves.

Re: previous thought. If you need something, he'll probably have it in his bag, he's just like that.

He doesn't always see messages when they're sent but he always responds right away. (rule of thumb, if you need a text to be seen, text Will. If you need a response, text Dakota. Do not text Vyncent).

I don't care about the canon universe for this one headcanon but Dakota would LOVE Spiderman I think.

I think he would have a lot of night terrors.

^I had to add that one because I realized I didn't have that many sad headcanons for Dakota.

I think Dakota also steals clothes a lot. They just let him tho like no one cares. William will see him in the kitchen in a dark T shirt that is the most jarring image but just does not say anything. (He is not allowed to do laundry, certified thief fr)

Ok I've been talking about Dakota too long, Time to move on again

Vyncent Sol

Fr one of the most Boys to Boy yknow? he is a creature fr!

Eyes glow in the dark, Dakota is the only one without glowing eyes, he lives with two cryptids fr.

you can pry the headcanon that he has a tail out of my cold. dead. hands. He has a tail I believe in it.

Re: ^ that thought, super long skinny tail with a little tuft of fur at the end.

Continuing with that, whenever he's upset or scared he wraps his tail around whoever is nearby, constantly hits people with his tail but does not notice. Whenever they're in public he wraps it around his torso to keep it hidden.

Big ears fr! constantly twitching and flicking back and forth, they move so much it's funny to watch sometimes. Also floppy ears tbh.

I think he would have sharp teeth and sharp nails.

When he was younger, his hair used to be like a very pale lavender and was a lot curlier than it is now. He still has the baby curls but he tries to hide them bc he doesn't wanna be seen as immature.

His hair is also super delicate and soft, he cannot use shampoo or product bc it WILL destroy his hair, you have to be very gentle with it.

He purrs. Absolutely does.

Not a fan of physical contact but puts up with it for Dakota

That one post of like that really grumpy cat reluctantly purring on the chest of someone who was sick? yeah that's Vyncent. He hates comforting people. Will purr to comfort others tho. Even if he is wildly uncomfortable with every second of it.

Vyncent would be such a light sleeper, he has super sensitive hearing and will wake up at every little sound. Headphones are not just to hide his ears <3 too much noise gives him a headache all the time.

he would LOVE bugs and plants. Wants to know more about all the nature on prime <3

He always talks about little facts super excited and Will and Dakota always are excited about it too (even if it's common knowledge for them, it's not for Vyncent and he's excited about it).

Will, despite being terrified of bugs, gives Vyncent facts about bugs in return (Vyncent loves hearing about it!)

He's the type to torture bugs on the playground but it's completely scientific, he's doing it for science purposes. He wants to know more.

Vyncent thinks Will and Dakota are super hard to read, they think the same of him. They have different body languages <3

I think he would be allergic to stupid things in the same vein that dogs are. He can't have onions either. (poor Dakota loves onions but no one else in the base can have them except for Tide).

He likes sitting with the others and just kind of sitting in the same room as them, not even doing the same thing. He's just vibing.

I think Vyncent would walk really quietly and constantly sneak up on people by accident.

You could hand Vyncent literally anything and say "eat this" and he would. Same thing with Dakota but for Dakota it would have to at least look like food. Vyncent will eat a rock if you hand it to him.

William showed Vyncent how to do emojis one time and it has been one of Will's biggest regrets (Vyncent now pretty much only texts in emojis. No they do not makes sense).

I think Vyncent would get so motion sick in cars.

I think that he should have a noticeable accent, no one can tell what TYPE of accent (obvious reasons) but it's uncanny enough that he does not sound like the locals.

He deserves a little uncanniness as a treat, limbs too long etc something like that idk. He should be more of a creature.

[macandriley]

5x06 - A Very MacRiley Analysis

Obligatory post to answer the age-old question: What do you see in MacRiley?

I’d like to start this off by saying, like a lot of you, I had very minimal hopes for this episode. I really didn’t expect anything to happen on the MacRiley front—especially not something that would significantly impact that storyline. 

But...I do enjoy being wrong.

Full transparency: this is not an episode review. If it were, I’d have to talk about the glaring plot inconsistencies and strange timeline. And I feel like I’ve already talked myself hoarse over that. 

So, without further adieu, let’s get into the long-winded analysis. 

The Cold Open

Absolutely irrelevant to the overall story and to this analysis. I just really like the way Mac says, “Riley, take the wheel,” and I thought it deserved an honorable mention.

“2020 Is Gonna Be Awesome”

Here, we cut to quarantine shenanigans. It’s cute. Fun. To see Riley and Bozer interacting like siblings again after so long just felt right.

Now, this is the pandemic, so of course conversations of toilet paper shortages arise. So Mac, in true MacGyver fashion, throws out some fun alternatives like newspaper and pine needles. And Riley shoots them all down, as she should. 

Because in the immortal words of Desi in 5x04, “Ew.”

This is when Bozer mentions that they could use the cardboard from Riley’s moving boxes. A seemingly innocent suggestion on the surface. If you don’t pay much attention to it, it goes right by without any fuss. 

However, at this point in canon, here’s what we know:

Bozer knows about Riley’s feelings for Mac

Riley has verbally told him that the reason she’s moving out is because of MacDesi. (Though her exact reasoning might’ve been intentionally misleading on her part)

So what does this mean? Well, to put it simply, Bozer is encouraging her to embrace living with Mac. To unpack her bags and stick around a while. A suggestion that Riley seems to ignore, as she says she’s dead set on getting out of there the second the pandemic allows.

Of course, the second she mentions moving, Mac picks back up with his beautiful Fauci song. Could it be that Himbo Barbie doesn’t like talking about Riley leaving? That’s open for interpretation.

Bonus points: Mac (incorrectly) blames Riley for not doing the dishes and it’s just adorably domestic. 

Getting Fed

Again, this scene is insignificant. The OG trio sit down to dinner, with Desi and Matty on video chat. It’s cute. 

But there is definitely something to be said for the way Riley looked at Mac when he mentioned having a private chat with Desi. My heart really went out to her there, because it must seem to her like she’s constantly being overlooked. 

After dinner, Riley and Bozer share a brief conversation. She expresses a disinterest in discussing her feelings, and reaffirms her choice to move out.

But Bozer reminds her that she’s only moving out so she “doesn’t have to watch Mac and Desi together,” and that “At this moment, it doesn’t seem like they are.”

This scene is important for two reasons: 

Bozer is clearly more supportive of MacRiley, which makes him honorary ship captain (as far as I’m concerned). 

it reaffirms the fact that her feelings are still very real, no matter how hard the lady doth protest.

Kitchen Floor Confessional

You all know this one from promo. After a tense conversation with Bozer, Mac heads inside to do the dishes. Riley, being the helpful person she is, offers to lend a hand. 

One thing leads to another, and the two wind up sitting on the floor by the sink, side by side. Just talking. The conversation comes to an end when Riley, who looks as though she wants to say something else, decides against it. (This “something else”, of course, would have been her confession). 

Cue the somewhat longing, emotionally charged staring from both parties. 

At this point, Mac says he’s going to go for a jog and abruptly leaves Riley alone in the kitchen. It’s clear by the look on her face that she feels, in some way, rejected. And the viewer is, at least for now, left to ponder why Mac seemed to cut the moment off so strangely. 

Though one could hypothesize that, just like Riley’s being packed and ready to go, Mac’s running has a little more to do with the emotional distancing than physical. 

The Parking Lot

Here we see Mac run off to speak to Desi. A scene I will not discuss at length, because the idea of playing footsie makes me cringe in the deepest recesses of my soul.

A little ways away, Bozer asks Riley if she told Mac about her feelings. She tells him she didn’t and that she’s glad, because she doesn’t want to be the thing that comes between them and their “happiness” (happiness is in quotes here because it seems like “anger” and “annoyance” are more common for them).

The dialogue in and of itself is not what I want to focus on here though. It’s the way the scene is framed.

Outside of the close-up shots for MacDesi’s conversation, much of the camera angles are from Riley’s perspective. Distant. Detached. The standpoint of an outsider looking in—of a girl watching the man she cares about being happy with someone else. 

The camerawork here makes this more of a Riley-centric moment than a MacDesi one.

Which is important because, from a narrative standpoint, there is no reason to frame it that way unless her emotions are going to be focal later on. This entire exchange implies that, in some way, Riley’s feelings are, were, and will be important to the plot. 

Yay for directorial story telling. 

A Moment

What to say about this scene? 

Mac has a heart to heart with Bozer and promises to be more present in his life. Bozer thanks him and begs him to finally clean the damn kitchen.

And agreeing, Mac turns away to do just that. Only, he stops himself short and tells Bozer he has one more thing he’d like to discuss.

The quote went as follows: “Kay, so...in the kitchen here a couple nights ago with Riley, there was a, uh...I don’t know, a moment.”

As I’m sure every MacRiley knows, him acknowledging that scene as a legitimate moment between them was incredibly unexpected. They’ve arguably had “moments” before, but only Riley ever seemed to notice them. Mac never mentioned having feelings, or even seemed like he might be aware of them.

This scene is the first time we’ve ever had direct confirmation that he feels—at least, in some capacity—the same way. 

To make it even better, this scene happens directly after MacDesi’s footsie match in the parking lot. Which means that, even when he’s got positive momentum with Desi, he’s still got Riley on his mind. 

Side note: I personally think this explains his behavior in 5x03. He doesn’t see Riley reciprocating, and he’s probably incredibly worried about screwing up all their history—an issue he doesn’t have with Desi, since they didn’t have much of a friendship first. 

So he throws himself back into that in an attempt to smother his feelings. Will it work? Only time will tell.

Ending

After cleaning up the kitchen, Mac picks up the piece of glass he’d left on the floor and, surprise surprise, finally gets an idea for his ventilator. Some fans say this is Riley’s influence, which I can honestly see. 

Especially given the quote Mac says at the end:

“When the world feels like it’s so turned upside down that it’s impossible to fix, it helps to look at things from a different angle. Because no matter how broken something appears—whether its your grumpy neighbor, your terrified best friend, your estranged girlfriend, or a shard of glass—that broken thing could inspire something new...Maybe even something better than before.”

I believe this is a direct foreshadow to MacRiley. Somehow, his fractured relationship with Desi will make him see what he COULD have with Riley. This “new angle” might even help him see that he’s better off as friends with Desi (something new), and that he might be happier in a relationship with Riley (something better).

And if you still don’t buy that, well...the scene transition seems pretty damning. 

There was absolutely no reason the camera couldn’t have faded to Bozer. Or to a shot of all three of them. This feels incredibly intentional, no?

In Conclusion

“Codex Adrenaline” and “Quarantine Cabin Fever” are cop-outs. Riley still likes Mac. Mac now likes Riley. And we are 100% going to see more development on that front. So is this a win?

I think so.

But I wanna hear from y’all. What did you like about this episode? What did you hate? Do you feel like they’re leading up to something bigger for MacRiley?

I’d love to hear y’alls thoughts. 

[actlikeyoudidntdoit]

ASSASSIN’S MODERN DAY PROFESSIONS

—————————————————

ALTAÏR

College Professor

-We all know that Altaïr has spent most of his life teaching, so what better job does he have than a college professor?

-He knows what he’s talking about, that much is certain, but sometimes he gets a little too lost in his lesson to realize that his students are scratching their heads. So it’s normal to have students staying after class, but they leave understanding every word of what he said.

-He’s not the fun teacher, but he’ll be able to teach you what you need and still remember it at the end of the day.

-He’s pretty lenient, and even with the obnoxious students who cause a scene, he calmly gets them to at least do their work.

-Other teachers always use him as a reference when it comes to the perfect teacher.

EZIO AUDITORE

-I can see Ezio being a public speaker since he’s not all that scared of crowds and spends a lot of time giving advice, so I think he’d really enjoy being able to help a crowd of people whose lives are falling apart

-Ezio would be the single anchor in a sea of storms because he always seems to have an answer for everything. He’s a man whose words are turned into inspirational quotes that people hang on their walls.

-When he says that things will be okay, no one doubts him since they know that he lost his father and his brothers very early on and that it took years for Ezio to accept the loss the way he had. If he could soldier through it, why couldn’t they?

-He doesn’t involve himself in politics, finding them to be a waste of time and breath despite how many people ask for his input on the political status of the country he’s staying in.

-He speaks to a lot of people in private, letting them speak their minds and giving his advice if they want it. He’s a therapist without a license, and you always feel hopeful about life leaving his office.

Connor

Construction or Sports

-This boy was designed for heavy work, and I’ve heard some good points in saying that not only would he be amazing at sports, but he’d also really enjoy it too.

-In my personal headcanon, I think he’d be a good construction worker as well. Not the high end kind that build skyscrapers or anything, but I can see him building simple houses for small communities, taking the lower jobs that can’t afford much help like the sweetheart he is. He definitely volunteers to make houses for the homeless.

-Since most of the homeless he helps don’t have much money, he makes sure to offer them baked goods because he’s definitely a baker.

Edward Kenway

-As a young man, he joins the navy

-Once he’s on his own, he buys his own boat and treats it like royalty.

-He’s not a pirate himself, but he does let less legal people on board for a price. At the time, it was just an easy cash pay since people paid good money when they were desperate.

-When he’s older and gets a grip on some of the people he’s helping (like the REALLY bad criminals) he quickly lets it go.

-Yet after seeing some of the more decent people and the places they were running from, I can see him being a sort of smuggler, but instead of smuggling drugs or weapons, he sells medicines, canned foods, and clothes to the regions where they’re scarce or hard to pay for.

-When he’s older and found a fortune over time, he starts up his own official charity, hiring various sailers to sail supplies to more places than he himself could alone.

SHAY CORMAC

-Okay, I have to say it. Shay would DEFINITELY be an FBI spy. Maybe I haven’t thought of it as heavily as I could, but he just strikes me as a man who could kill someone in plain sight and still not be seen.

-He already knows everything he can about infiltrating and getting vital information

-He knows exactly how to manipulate people to get what he wants.

-He’s like Macgyver but as an agent.

-He does things that make sleeping at night impossible, but he tells himself that every long night for him is another person somewhere else having a peaceful night, and peaceful nights means he’s doing his job. Right?

-Constantly questions his morals, but he can’t bring himself to stop, not knowing that he’d do if he stopped, because at least here he’s doing something. He’s contributing.

-That and maybe I might or might not want to see Shay in a suit 🤷‍♀️

AVELINE

-Actress. And a damn good one. She’s one of the kind of people who get paid millions each job and gives most of her cash on people who really need it. Not only that, she’s a fan favorite everywhere.

-She takes extra jobs in smaller businesses barely staying afloat, and public morality boosts has nothing to do with it. In fact, she keeps her fame life out of everything, choosing to see it just as another job.

-I can see her sharing similarities of Zendaya or Zoe Zaldana

ARNO DORIAN

-High school teacher or actor, I can’t decide.

-Because let’s be honest, this guys brain is more wrinkled than a raisin. He knows his stuff.

-He’s good at simplifying what he’s saying, and that happens to be a very useful trait when it comes to teaching.

-If he was a teacher, he’d be a damn good one, that’s for sure. No one will fail his class because he’s so good at explaining things, and he’d be the one who actually cares for his students.

-When it comes to acting... just admit that Arno’s a theater boy through and through. If you need proof, he’s the only one with a crazy amount of fancy robes and colors. FOR GODS SAKE HE OWNS A THEATER! So on modern day, I could totally see him as an actor as well.

-He’d be the Ewan Mcgregor of the modern day, because everyone recognizes him from SOMEWHERE because he’s really tested his acting ability on multiple various roles. Well read, charming, and level headed, he’d totally rock being an actor. He’s good friends with Aveline, and when they both have time in their busy schedules, they stop by for coffee and fill each other in on their life.

JACOB

-Boxing

-I saw the photoshops of Jacob in boxer life, and I have not been the same because oh my god that is amazing.

-but absolutely he’d be a boxer. He’s the shortest guy in the entire match, but he doesn’t need a stool to knock you on your ass before you can laugh about it.

-His opponents are lucky shattering bones is against the rules because he knows how to make someone wish their dad wore a condom.

-A lot of people think that his rounds must be rigged, and his sister had to physically hold him back every time Jacob threatened to give him a close up of how ‘rigged’ his fights were.

-Jacobs a powder keg, so it doesn’t take much to make him explode, and a lot of the less respectful people he has to fight picks particularly sore spots to do just that.

-He might be pissed, but his punch isn’t the only thing that stings. He knows exactly what words to use, and when they’ve gone too far, he doesn’t hold back.

-Might have a temper, but he has a good heart despite it all. He visits schools and completely turns his personality around with kids. He signs autographs, takes pictures, and makes sure that every one of them have a fun day because he knows that there’s some kids in this school that don’t have those kinds of days. He pays the school for field days each time, making sure they all get out. They bring out the scooters, parachutes, capture the flag, and ‘wrestling’ matches for the kids who want to face him. He loses every time. He never has a bigger smile on his face than when he has children fans walk up to him.

EVIE

-She is totally a lawyer and you can’t change my mind.

-Logic and Facts are her strongest weapons, and so far she has yet to lose a debate.

-Every other lawyer knows that seeing Evie walk into court is an instant death sentence, because like her brother, her words are sharp as a knife and her mind is even sharper.

-If they didn’t look identical, no one would believe that she would be related with Jacob the hot headed boxer, because she was level as water and was near impossible to make angry, but god help the poor sod that presses her.

-Her clients almost always get the best case scenario with Evie by their side by how good she is.

-Also like her brother, children are her weak spot, and her hard composure melts whenever she needs to speak to a child in the witness post, making sure that the child feel comfortable unlike the others that drill the kid with questions when they’re too skittish to answer. She takes her time and gets the kid feeling safe, and gently asks their side.

-Evie might not do it as a profession, but Evie has beaten Jacob in the boxing ring in the gym. She knows damn well how to handle herself, knowing she’d need it since she’d be fighting corrupt politicians or gang members who have too often tried attempts at her life. Every time she emerged unscathed, using the attempt at even more evidence against them and insuring a spot in jail. No one dared try attacking her again after that.

BAYEK

-I’m thinking police officer or motivational speaker for trauma.

-Either way, he’s a guardian who takes care of the people he’s in charge of. He knows words well, and having been down the dark path himself, he knows exactly what people experience and what they want to hear.

-Be the change you want to see in the world, and that’s exactly what he’s doing.

-He’d be a well respected officer, and he’s not afraid of telling off a comrade if someone is wrongfully accused. He’s not very popular in the police station, but as long as he’s doing his job, he’s satisfied.

-He’s saved several people over the course in his life, and his word is well honored since he’s on no ones side. He sees things as what they are and doesn’t twist events he disagreed with to his point of view. Even if it hurts him personally, he doesn’t lie.

-He’s divorced, but they’re still best friends with each other and visit when they can.

AYA (ran out of gifs. Sorry)

-She is hands down a self defense teacher for women

-She sells hidden self defense tools for less than ten dollars, always sure to keep constantly supply of them since many have confessed that they’ve saved them from dangerous situations.

-Like her former husband, she’s a protector and makes sure she provides her students with the best.

-She teaches children what to do if they ever get grabbed, and she’s had many parents in years thanking her when that information ended up saving their child’s life.

ALEXIOS

-Hands down he is a stunt double

- Preferably Arno’s since he relies more on flexibility than brute strength. Then there’s the fact that they look similar enough in features

-He does the moves that would probably be safer if they were just CGI, but he hates those computers with a passion, preferring to do the real thing instead of giving out something fake. He’s broken more bones than he can count, and the companies he works with always have a medic on standby when something goes wrong.

-They tried convincing him that they only needed him for a few spots, but after realizing that he wanted this (and him assuring them that he doesn’t bother with suing), they let him do his thing. The results are fruitful since the most nitpicky movie fans are absolutely thrilled when there’s a particular move done right.

-He teaches Arno a good few things about how to do action scenes, and they’re definitely good friends.

KASSANDRA

-Roller Derby

-She lives for throwing people and smacking them without being judged for it, so the Derby’s her safe spot.

-Everyone on the opposing team is terrified of her, always scared when they see her devilish smile, knowing that they’re about to get their asses handed to them. Like her brother, she’s an adrenaline junky, and when she’s not doing the derby, she’s going off into car races in a water trench. She’s surprisingly very good with cars too, knowing the inside and out of a car like the back of her hand.

-She loves it when men try to catcall her. It gives her a perfect opportunity to punch them in the face.

-She loves the races themselves because no one expects it. Sometimes she pretends to act like a beginner and absolutely slaughter them, giving them a nice wink before driving out with her cash.

-Only has a soft spot for the girl who visits her on weekends. She’s practically her older sister, and there will be hell to pay if her favorite kid gets hurt in any way.

EIVOR

-BACA(Bikers Against Child Abuse)

-The moment I saw this, I instantly thought about them.

-they would absolutely be a part of this

-Looking all badass in leather while turning into a softie for children? That’s Eivors entire character right there.

-Eivors not afraid to get physical with an abuser. They’d beat the abuser to a pulp and right after take the child out for ice cream.

-No one messes with Eivor, knowing that their lenience was stretched only for children. Anyone else tried to pressure her? Your teeth would be shattered and they’d wear the bits for a necklace.

-Children are much more brave around them because they’re tougher than their parent and on their side, so they’re not afraid to give them to the police

[winterhawk-olympic-bang]

Let’s Get It On

How To Write Sex

Guest Poster: CB

Here is our second Writer Workshop post, written by CB. Have a read and then head over to the Discord Server where we have a channel for you to take part in a discussion based on the post, with chances to share your own ideas too. 

So Your Characters Want to Bang

Welcome to my Ted Talk on How To Successfully Write Pornography! We’re going to cover a few bases here (first, second, third, and home base, to keep up with the metaphor), but feel free to reach out if you have any questions either on the Discord server or here on the Tumblr. If you take a look at my body of work you can see that a significant portion of it is explicit fic, which I’m told is a struggle for some folks.  Apparently my CPU is 80% porn.exe, so I’ve got a bit of a niche. Additionally, I’ve got a medical professional background that includes a very specific nurse certification in sex-related shenanigans, so if you’ve got questions, I’ve got answers. 

When I decide to write porn (or when my characters decide it for me), I have a few basic things that I keep in mind in order to make sure the story stays on track, the character arcs fit with the scenarios, and that everything doesn’t start to feel too formulaic.  I’m going to share my methods and maybe you will find something that helps you out or inspires you to give writing explicit fic a try!

The Mechanics

Let’s start with the basics. Fictional pornography can start to feel, well, a little bit formulaic, especially if you read or write a lot of it.  There’s a standard formula of kissing, rubbing, fingers, dicks (or other bits), everybody comes, the end! There’s nothing wrong with sticking to the basic formula, especially your first time (ha!), but here are some thoughts on how you can make sure you’re getting the specifics done and done well, and how to avoid feeling like you’ve written the sexual equivalent of an English essay. 

Lubrication.  It… really doesn’t matter exactly what kind of sex your characters are having, you can’t go wrong with lube. Getting things wet and slippery is half the fun and also twice the enjoyment. Sometimes characters decide to get it on in unfortunately risque locations, and lube may not be readily available - here is a nice list of MacGyvered lube solutions you may find helpful in that circumstance. That being said - if you are writing anal sex of some sort, lubrication is an absolute must have. 

Preparation. Otherwise known as foreplay.  Prep is and can be sexy! Everyone involved wants to have a good time, some preparation is required! I don’t just mean fingers in the butt (although that can be important too, we’re gonna get to that), but just generally building up the level of arousal over time adds to the dynamic you’re trying to create between two characters. Even if it’s fuck-or-die, sex pollen shenanigans, just talking about how hot the character feels for it is still a form of preparation/foreplay.  Specifically speaking to buttsex - the amount of prep your character needs is heavily dependent on the circumstances.  For your consideration - is this a first time sex situation, or does your character regularly bottom? Are they pressed for time, or is this a long, drawn-out affair? There is not (despite what fanfic writers would have you believe) a certain number of fingers that you have to insert into anyone’s anus that makes them ‘ready’ for sex.  A person who regularly bottoms may not need any fingering at all, in fact, but they are still going to need lube. (See point 1.) If your character has never bottomed before, they’re going to need more time and patience than a character that does it a lot, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they need more and more and more fingers. It just means they need a partner with consideration for their comfort. And lube.

Coming. People (and thus, characters) don’t often come at exactly the same time.  Frequently someone comes first. The other person may not come at all! They don’t have to! If it’s important to you, that’s fine. But it can be fun to play with the dynamics of one character coming and the other character not, because they’re caring for the first character, or because they want to wait and enjoy the burn for later, or because of whatever other reason - which brings us back to character and story dynamic. Also, playing with this particular dynamic can make your pornography feel a lot less formulaic.  Character B didn’t come because they wanted to wait and savor the feeling, and maybe in a few hours or days, Character A gets to really have a good time paying them back with a truly spectacular orgasm.  Maybe they just really wanted to see their partner fucked out and happy, and coming really wasn’t that important to them. Maybe they’re sex-postive ace, or maybe they take medication that makes sex and orgasms hard to achieve, but they still enjoy the intimacy. It’s up to you (and your characters!), but it’s not necessary for both people to come for the scene to be satisfying.

Penetration. Penetration is not the end-all-be-all of sex. Penetration isn’t even required for something to be considered sex.  Some people never want penetration, and that’s okay.  This is a good time to consider your characters’ boundaries, a good way to involve consent, and a good way to consider what kind of bedroom dynamic your characters are going to share - even or especially if it’s completely different to the dynamic they share outside the bedroom.  Is penetration necessary or important to the characters, the story, or the development of the relationship? Even if you just want to write it, that’s fine, but considering your characters’ perspective and feeling will give the act more depth and nuance.

Expectations (and subverting them so that whatever you’re writing feels fresh and different). Like I said before, there’s a certain amount of ‘this is what’s going to happen’ expectation in fictional pornography. A series of steps that you can pretty much guarantee is going to get you from point A to point F in the sexual alphabet. One of the biggest ways that you can make your sex scenes feel more intimate, more character-driven, and more unique is by subverting those expectations and doing something different that fits your dynamic better or isn’t “the norm”. For example, in a recent fic I had a character fantasize about what it would be like to have the object of their affection on their hands and knees - but when it came time for the sex, said character flipped the script and climbed on top instead! Fictional pornography isn’t real, and people don’t necessarily want realism in their fiction, but adding some realistic elements (oh no, I’ve lost the lube!/it turns out I don’t like this one thing can we try another thing/a hilarious thing has just happened) can be fun and unexpected, and make the reader more invested in your story.

So You Want To Add An Explicit Scene

You’re writing a lovely enemies to friends back to enemies to lovers arc and the time has come to do the do.  I’m excited for you! I’m excited for your characters! But now you want to know how do I add this to my story organically? How do you make this feel like a natural progression of the story, how do you segue from fighting Doombots to sweating it up in the sheets? 

The trick, in my experience, is to build up to that moment way before you get there.  You have to lay the groundwork for attraction before anyone takes off any clothes.  Does Character A get distracted during the fight by staring at Character B’s biceps? Was that an absolutely beautiful sniper shot at an impossible angle and it was so good that Character A’s breath literally catches in his chest and he nearly gets hit in the face by a robot fist? Did someone else in the battle have to remind Character B to pay attention to the fight?  Is it movie night and Character A doesn’t even know the plot of the film because they’ve been too busy staring at Character B’s face in the light of the television screen? 

A little pining goes a long way, but you have to establish attraction before your characters can act on attraction. It feels jarring to your readers if the characters hated each other two paragraphs ago and now they’re fucking in a public space.  Even if it’s hate sex, you gotta have the POV character hate how attractive they find the other character.  Then you just need an inciting event - one character takes off their shirt because it’s ripped from the fight, or they bump into each other in the communal kitchen and that hot line of their bodies pressed together sparks a kiss - and then you’re off and running! 

The exception to this might be an established relationship Plot What Plot fic, but even then, you’ve probably got an idea that sparks the actual sex - include that in your fic!

Help, This Is Moving Way Too Fast!

Oh no, the pacing is off! It happens to the best of us, don’t worry. You get in a hurry (just come already, oh my god!), and you push through to the end and then on re-read or in beta, you find that the whole thing just feels flat and rushed.  It started off so well, and then you lost something somewhere in the middle. 

The way I combat this is by focusing on how the characters feel and/or how they react to what’s happening. 

Someone’s mouth is on someone else’s body - how does the POV character feel about this? If they’re the recipient, is this the hottest thing that’s ever happened to them? Are they afraid to let go and enjoy it? Are they 404 Error: Brain Not Found? Play around with it. Does the non-POV character say something unbelievably hot/romantic/sappy/hilarious? What kind of mood are you trying to set? This is a character interaction as much as dialogue is, so you’re still working with the back-and-forth of two people who are communicating, but with their bodies. (And words too, to be honest).  If the scene is too rushed, slow it down with some internal dialogue, external dialogue, or something emotional (like a realization or an acknowledgement - oh no I love them/oh no I don’t hate them/they always take good care of me). If the scene is too long (to be honest this rarely happens, but it can), consider whether you’ve added too much dialogue or other extraneous interactions that have slowed your scene and taken attention away from what’s happening.

Help, It Sounds Like A Medical Exam

This is nearly always a terminology problem. 

I’m not here to tell you what words you can and cannot use in your sex scenes.  Everyone feels differently about acceptable terminology (though we have all laughed at dick euphemisms).  And that’s not even getting into writing fics with trans characters or different gender identities. Personally, I tend to use cock/dick for penis, and I avoid specifically naming parts for vagina-havers because I’ve never found a good one that I liked that I felt flowed smoothly in my own writing.  So this one is more nebulous because it’s a personal choice you’re making about what words do it for you and what words don’t.  It’s also, again, about your character’s perspective.  If you have a character who prefers certain terminology, that’s the terminology you use. 

Here’s what I can suggest.  Don’t focus as much on the parts of the body you’re writing, and focus much, much more on the sensations you’re creating.  There is a mouth on your POV character’s penis - how does that feel to them? Is it: hot, tight, wet, is there something happening with the tongue, are they sucking really hard, are they going really deep?  Alternatively - is the non-POV character enthusiastic? Are they into it? Is how into it they are super hot to the receiving character? Are they sloppy but determined? Beyond the physical sensation, how about emotional reactions? Has your POV character never had this before, or has no one ever treated them with such tender care? Is it the best blowjob they’ve ever received? The worst? (This can still be hot - can the POV character give them careful, precise instructions on how to do it better? Does the non-POV character find THAT extremely hot?). 

Keep in mind that you’re not writing technical directions for the characters in your scene.  (Unless you are, because you’ve discovered Gentle!Dom!Bucky, who is telling Praise!Kink!Clint exactly what to do.) You’re writing a scene that conveys something emotional to the reader.  Is it a sexy emotion? Yes, yes it is. It might also be a sad emotion, or a happy one, or any of the range of human emotions, really, but the point is that readers probably know how the sex works mechanically, what you’re trying to do is give them feelings about it.

Speaking of Feelings

Let’s talk a little bit about motivation.  Yes, even sex scenes need motivation. Not to be the prima donna actor over here, but ask yourself: Why am I writing a sex scene? 

Generally speaking, well-written sex scenes are better received if they accomplish a goal.  Writing a sex scene well is easier if you have this goal in mind before you ever sit down in front of your computer.

Does this scene advance the story? By this I mean: is this an emotional resolution, does it convey something about the characters’ relationship that cannot be conveyed in another venue or does it better express that aspect of their relationship, does it have meaning beyond the immediate gratification of an orgasm or add to the fic in some way?

Does this scene advance the relationship? Is it a big step for one or both characters? Are you showing vulnerability/trust/compassion/concern/etc? Is it an emotional milestone? Is it an expression of love that one of the characters can’t make with words but can demonstrate physically?

I’m going to pull some very specific examples from my own work, helpfully crowdsourced and reviewed by a trusted friend so that I can talk more clearly about what I mean.

Russian Red: if you haven’t read this one, it’s a story about Bucky wearing lipstick and then giving Clint a blow job. That’s it, that’s the fic. When I put it like that, it doesn’t sound all that exciting, really, and maybe it doesn’t even sound like something you’d like. A man wearing lipstick may not be your thing!! That’s okay! (And as an aside, people enjoy reading/writing things that they have absolutely zero interest in in real life, and that’s okay! Fantasies are weird like that, and a normal part of human sexuality, and we aren’t judging anyone for their kinks here.) But this fic employs very specifically some of the points I’ve made so far, so I want to talk a little about it, especially foreplay and emotional investment. 

Bucky wearing lipstick in this fic is not about Bucky at all.  It is explicitly about fulfilling a fantasy for Clint.  In fact, later in the fic, Bucky has a moment of insecurity about it because he had what he thought was a great idea, and in the moment of truth it becomes a bit of screaming panic because what if the whole thing is stupid!!!! We’ve all had that moment.  So readers can relate. But also - throughout the course of the fic it becomes something that Bucky also enjoys and finds sexy.  So there are multiple motivators: emotional satisfaction for Bucky because he’s doing something for Clint, physical satisfaction for Clint because he is getting his fantasy fulfilled, and then the added bonus of Bucky finding the whole thing unexpectedly hot means that he is also satisfied by the encounter.  I have created an emotional need that is satisfied through porn.

Emotional investment (also known as the character is putting in work).  Bucky goes through a lot to make this fantasy happen.  He has to tell Natasha what he’s doing for one thing, which is uncomfortable. A little bit of character discomfort makes the payoff at the end better, because your reader is invested in your character having a good outcome! It also shows that Bucky cares about Clint more than he cares about the mild discomfort/vulnerability of asking Natasha about lipstick for a mildly kinky thing he’s doing.

Foreplay - the more invested Bucky gets in doing this thing for Clint, the more he starts to find it hot and exciting, the more like foreplay it becomes, which means the payoff in the end is that much better. (Revisit the point on preparation from earlier!).  There is a lot of build up from the moment Bucky puts the lipstick on (tactile sensations, memories tied to lipstick, etc.) to the moment he leaves the very first red imprint of his mouth on Clint’s skin and realizes oh shit, this is hot.

This fic is very, very close, tight third-person POV.  Keeping the POV so close and tight means that your reader is very much in your POV character’s head - the reader is getting their experiences (emotional, physical, tactile senses) but they’re only able to interpret the other characters’ motivations and reactions through the lens of your POV character.  It’s trickier writing, but it means the reader is more connected to the character and therefore the porn. Also, it means that the reader is much more in tune with the non-POV characters’ reactions, which means incoherent mess is just that much hotter.

Personal Security/Security Failure: So these fics are… their own claim to fame in fandom. Gentle!Dom!Bucky and Praise!Kink!Clint have sexy, sexy adventures.  The first fic is their first meeting, the second one is fondly known as Circus Spanking. If you haven’t read them, that’s the basic summary, but please mind the tags if you choose to explore this series. Here we’re going to hit on consent, which is important and sexy, and vulnerability/trust. 

Again it’s very close, 3rd person POV, which means you’re very much in Clint’s head when he’s a wrecked, incoherent mess.  In the previous fic Bucky was watching the incoherency happen, which is very hot. In this fic the reader is experiencing the incoherency.  There’s also a lot of buildup in the first fic of Clint experiencing this inexplicable attraction to Bucky, and the confusion he has that Bucky is equally attracted to him - so like foreplay, you’re building it up before they ever take their clothes off.

Consent.  If you are dabbling anywhere in the kink neighborhood I cannot express to you how important it is to include explicit consent.  Please get a kink sensitivity reader. Don’t surprise your audience with dubious consent - make it clear and explicit from the start, even if it’s consensual nonconsent (which is a tag, but can also be addressed early with a line like ‘this is something they’d talked about previously’). But also! Consent can be sexy! It can be fun! It doesn’t have to be a drawn out contract of hard limits and detailed diagrams (though I have seen that done and done well!). Consent can be as simple as checking in with a partner if they’ve gone quiet or seem so wrecked they can’t express themselves. Consent can be one character telling another exactly what they’re going to do to them (hot hot hot!!), asking if they’re okay with it, and then doing exactly what they said.

Vulnerability/trust. Just like with the previous fic, vulnerability adds a sense of emotional intimacy that can be super hot.  If you’re writing kinky fic, vulnerability and trust go hand in hand, and show how deeply invested characters can be in each other - and that they respect and care for one another as well.  One character making themselves vulnerable to another with the understanding that the other character isn’t going to take advantage of that trust can be supernova hot if you employ it correctly. The key here is making sure that the character in the position of power respects the vulnerable character’s boundaries.  Security Failure in specific sets up an emotional need (increased trust) that is fulfilled physically by the porn that follows.  Clint needs to trust Bucky more, and Bucky needs to know that Clint trusts him.  Clint making himself super vulnerable in this fic lets both of these needs be fulfilled.

 Interactions outside the bedroom compared to interactions inside the bedroom.  In this fic, I chose to have these mirror each other - Bucky is in control of himself and in command of the situation in all of their interactions, so before they ever get naked you know what to expect from the dynamic. What can also be fun, however, is subverting expectations, so that how characters interact outside the bedroom is very different from how they interact inside the bedroom - so this is another time when knowing what your characters want/prefer is important motivation for your writing!

Character moments in your porn - there’s a scene in the first fic where Clint (this is all Clint POV) thinks about how much he likes performing a certain act, because it makes him feel good and useful.  It’s a very short interaction but it tells you a lot about the character - it tells you he likes to be useful, that he likes to be considered good (hello praise kink!), and it tells you he has low self-esteem which makes you want to wrap him up and a blanket and tuck him in and tell him how good and useful he is, but you also want Bucky to wreck him.  Your characters still have characterization, even during porn. In the second fic, we see character growth that mirrors growth within the relationship, but there’s still room to grow because Clint is still uncertain and insecure, and the fic helps advance their relationship to a new level of trust.  Through porn.

Communication, communication, communication.  Especially in kink fic but honestly in most porn - your characters have to communicate with each other! It can be nonverbal, but you’ve gotta make it clear to the reader.

The Big Finish

Everyone came (or maybe they didn’t), now what CB?

Oof, good question. 

To be honest, endings are the hardest (ha!) part.  And luckily, we’re going to have a Workshop specifically about how best to accomplish them! But as far as sexy scenes and how to wrap them up and move on, I like to use resolution of whatever need I was trying to meet, and then open the next scene with something that demonstrates a new level of intimacy/relationship dynamic/etc. if it’s part of a larger storyline, or just fade to black if it’s a one-shot. 

I hate to keep beating a dead horse, but this also depends on your motivation for writing your sex scene.  If you were trying to accomplish something with the story, then you need to somehow demonstrate that goal has been met - are they more comfortable around each other now, are they happier to show off their relationship to their friends, are they finally admitting they’re in a relationship? If you were trying to accomplish something with the relationship itself (which, as you can see, may go hand in hand with the story), then how can you show that? Does the one who usually leaves finally fall asleep in the other person’s arms? Is there a big flowery declaration? Does someone crymax? Does one partner tenderly clean the other partner up with a warm cloth and snuggle them into submission? The world is your oyster! Do what feels right for your characters and the journey you’re taking them on! 

And don’t forget the lube. 

[cozyforjate]

MacGyver 5x02 Review

We had another great MacGyver episode. That's two for two!🥳👏

This season so far has brought us back the good ole "MacGyver" feel that was partly lost in season 4. And i have a good feeling that it's only gonna get better.

As a MacGyver fan since day 1, i couldn't be happier. The characters are more open with each other. They are getting more depth. Mac is doing more hacks. I’m enjoying the lighter tone of the episodes. We are not getting any unnecessary drama between Mac&Desi. Which is a breath of fresh air! Totally helping the quality of the episodes. We have 40 mins, so we better use it the best way possible, right?

Back to the episode.

I've always been big a fan of heist plots and this episode did not disappoint. Loved the blonde thief lady AKA Jess Miller. Loved the chemistry between Desi and her. The training scenes were awesome. And we had not one but two heist plots. Go MacGyver!

This episode mainly focused on Russ and Desi. But before that i’d like to point a few things.

Matty noticing right away that Russ had an emotional connection with the case was brilliant. Nothing gets by the boss lady!

Action scenes were so good!

The songs they pick are on FIRE! I’m gonna need the season 5 soundtrack.

I wished we had more Bozer and little bit more Riley but i’m not gonna complain.

Now lets talk about Russ and Desi.

Russ & Desi

Russ:

Henry Ian Cusick is a brilliant actor. I’ve been a fan of his since LOST and so far I'm really satisfied with the Russ character. Sometimes he makes me want to shake him real hard, sometimes he makes me laugh i wanna be besties with him and sometimes i just wanna hug him badly! That's a great character for you btw. He has many layers and he is growing. His sadness over losing his protegee, the way he feels responsible for her death, the way he made the choice of sending the bad guy to prison instead of taking revenge were all great moments. And instead of keeping secrets from his team this time when Matty and later Mac asked what’s going on, he opened up and told them the truth. The last scene with the grieving family was also very emotional. 😭

Desi:

Now you know that i'm not a big fan of Desi. I've been waiting for some growth, asking the gods to save her from being a one dimensional character since season 4 episode 1. Last season didn't do good for Desi. Apart from a few good moments, she was mostly and badly used as a love interest. 

This season tho, i'm finally starting to relate to this character. In the first episode i didn't enjoy that she blamed Riley for her own wrongdoings but in the end she revealed that she was mostly angry at herself and regretted what she's done. This episode she was great from the start to the end. She tried her best without complaining, she risked her life, she bonded with Jess and it was beautiful to watch. We've seen her smile more! And she pulled a Mission Impossible level job like a professional thief.

MacRiley-MacDesi... What's happening with the triangle?

I didn't talk about MacRiley or MacDesi much in my first review bcoz i wanted to watch at least one more episode to see the situation more clearly. The first 2 episodes did not focus on romance and it's totally fine. I'm good with that. What i hate is when they "force" scenes into plots for no good reason. Romance needs to feel natural just like the action scenes or character moments.

While 501 and 502 didn’t have big “ship moments” they did hint on where all 3 characters are standing. It was done subtly and didn't feel forced at all.

In first 2 episodes the thing that caught my eye was the lack of "sexual tension" between MacDesi. The writers been forcing the sexual tension between them ever since Desi first showed up. They created so many out of the blue situations to catch the "hot couple" vibes, it was agonizing to watch at times.

The first 2 episodes announced the good news: No more forced tension between them.

But the important question is, what kept MD so far was mostly the physical attraction and now that it's gone, what's left? 

The training scene in the ring could have been one of those moments where the writers use to keep the tension going, but it didn't happen. Jess made a comment on how Mac might have lost his chance of dating Desi. But Mac seemed pretty cool about it. The look on his face didn’t say "Oh no i can't lose her"; it was more like "Lost my chance? Oh lady, i’m way passed that!"

But Desi's reaction told me a different story. She heard what Jess said and she looked at Mac with this “almost” sad expression? Like she wished he would still want to have another chance with her...

Btw- Mac coming up with a plan to electrify Desi and made it stronger than what he would do to a cow was the funniest sht ever! 🤣🤣🤣

Jumping to MacRiley…

I know we didn’t get any MacRiley solo scenes (yet) but have you all felt the "closeness" between them? The camera intentionally focuses on them a lot more.

501- Running towards each other in the corridor... Mac looking at her for ideas, her teasing him... Riley telling Mac to follow her to the medical room and Mac running after her without asking why... Them giving each other the signature MacRiley looks before they all get lifted up to the roof?

502- Mac's eyes always finding Riley's... Them sitting face to face in the plane (in both scenes).

& The cheers scene? It was reminiscent of the scene from 4x05. They’re celebrating a successful mission just like 4x05 but with one difference! In 4x05, the camera focused on the shared looks and cheers between MD, hinting what's about to come. But now the focus is on MacRiley. The way Mac stared at Riley and the smile she gave him... very telling!💯🔥❤

And i should also mention the first scene with them. MacRiley hunting down Jess in their own nerdy ways was great. Riley hacked every device possible, Mac improvised. Macsplaining was priceless as always. And Jess's "The Geek Squad" comment was SPOT ON. Yes Jess, Mac and Riley are professional geeks. That's how they roll and get the job done.🤣 Loved it so much!

5x03  

Next week we'll get the first new episode that's written and filmed with Monica Macer as the showrunner. So it's an important one. We'll be getting a confrontation between Mac and Desi. And the synopsis says they are "forced" to confront their relationship. 10 months passed and they NEVER discussed the broken trust between them? Wow... just wow.

I'm expecting a scene with less yelling this time. I'm expecting a resolution that ends with "we never worked as a couple but how about we try to be good friends?"

We need some peace between these two. Lets start over, this time with no forced romance please. (Don’t let me down writers!!!)

Of course the triangle will not be resolved that quickly. So here’s how i see it going: 

Desi slowly lets go of Mac, figures out what she really wants from a relationship (if there’ll be a season 6, she finds happiness with her true match).

Mac realizes his "hidden" feelings for Riley and finally dares to explore them.

Riley decides whether she should take the risk and act on her feelings for Mac or not.

I believe that the triangle’s fate was decided the moment Riley realized her feelings for Mac in 4x04. The writers didn’t let Riley (finally) fall for Mac for nothing. It’s for a reason. MacRiley is happening!

See you next week!

[whumpflumpthump]

could we try no.23 punishment? I don't know if you want a certain character or fandom but your whump writing just gives me such whumperflies skldgsjlkdfjdk

Of course we can!! Thanks so much, I hope you like this!!

Warnings: Torture as punishment, broken bones

Prompt No. 23: Punishment

Mac hears the door click shut as Murdoc leaves, and jumps into action.  He quickly slips the paperclip out from where he had it inside the sleeve of his shirt, and easily picks the lock on the handcuffs around his wrists.  He then moves on to the restraints securing his legs to the chair.  After a few moments of struggling, he slips out and stands, his legs wobbly after sitting for so long.

He tries to ignore the thoughts in the back of his mind that say it was too easy.  Murdoc knows you can pick the locks.  There’s no way he would be so careless, and he didn’t even drug you.  He knows something isn’t right, so he tells himself to be extra careful, but right now he just wants to get out of this place and back to his team.

Once he reaches the door, he pauses and listens for noise on the other side.  When he doesn’t hear anything, he takes his paperclip out once again and pushes it into the lock, feeling the tumblers click into position as the door swings open.

He cautiously steps out into a dark hallway, cautiously taking in his surroundings, aware that it may very well be a trap set by Murdoc, testing him to see what he will do.  At the end of the hallway is a metal door, supposedly leading to the rest of whatever building he is being kept in.  Mac cautiously makes his way towards it, slipping his paperclip out again as he moves.  

Once he reaches it, he once again listens for sound on the other side.  When he doesn’t hear anything, not that that means he isn’t there, he moves to slip the paperclip into the lock, but before he can pick it, the door swings open.  He freezes, the paperclip still extended towards the door.  He is now face to face with Murdoc, whose face is slowly forming a smirk.  He sees Murdoc glance down at the paperclip, and then back towards his face, putting together what had transpired.

Mac feels frozen in place as Murdoc walks forward and closes the door behind him.

“Now now Angus, you should know better than to think I would let you get away that easily.  I’m offended, to be honest,” he pauses, as if thinking, “That was quicker than I expected though, always one to impress, aren’t you MacGyver.”

Mac finally snaps out of his shocked state and glares at Murdoc, trying to come up with the best way to get himself out of this situation.  He settles into a fighting stance and is about to lash out when Murdoc pulls his gun out of seemingly thin air, and levels it with Mac’s chest, the fight leaving him instantly.

“As much fun as it was to watch you, I’m afraid I can’t have you try that again.  At least not until I’m through with you,” Murdoc says, his eyes darkening in a way that makes Mac’s stomach drop, even as he is forced to follow Murdoc back through the hallway, into the dim room.

Mac wants to resist as Murdoc waves his gun towards the chair, meaning for him to sit down, but decides it’s not worth it, so he reluctantly complies.  Murdoc starts humming as he reattaches Mac’s restraints, this time adding a generous layer of duct tape around the cuffs, making it impossible for him to pick the locks.

“Well Angus, your futile escape attempt leaves me no choice.  I really would rather not do this, but you must be punished,” Murdoc says, as he finishes restraining Mac’s legs and stands up.

Well, that can’t be good.

Murdoc then reaches to grab Mac’s hand, causing him to clench his fist and shake his head.

“No, Murdoc please, please don’t do this.”

Murdoc just sighs and looks, almost pityingly at Mac.  “I wish I didn’t have to hurt the instruments of your genius, but anything less wouldn’t stop you from trying again.”  He reaches out his hand and gently caresses the side of Mac’s face, running his hand down Mac’s jawline and cupping his chin, for just a moment, before his face hardens, and he lowers his arm back towards the blonde’s hands, the moment of sympathy gone.

Mac struggles again, but he doesn’t get very far with his wrists restrained like they are, and Murdoc just holds Mac’s hand tighter.  

“You know, Angus, the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt.”

As Murdoc takes Mac’s pinky finger between his thumb and index finger, Mac starts begging again.

“Murdoc, please, please don’t do this.  I promise I won’t try to escape again, please.”

“Oh MacGyver, I do love it when you beg.”

With that, he snapped Mac’s finger, a clean break, one that wouldn’t cause lasting damage, but would definitely hurt and greatly discourage any future escape attempts.

Mac gasps and barely contains the hiss of pain that threatens to come out of his mouth.  Before he has time to recover, Murdoc has already moved on to the second finger, breaking it with the same precision as the previous finger.  

Mac closes his eyes and tries to slow his breathing as Murdoc grasps his third finger, and breaks it.  After this finger, Murdoc pauses, and Mac slowly opens his eyes.  

“So, what have you learned from this?” Murdoc asked, gesturing to Mac’s mangled fingers.

“I will not try to escape again,” Mac says, barely above a whisper.

“What was that?” Murdoc responds, snapping Mac’s fourth finger with a hand Mac didn’t even realize was close to his.

Mac lets out a hiss in pain at the surprise, but keeps his voice steady as he replies, “I will not try to escape again,” a little louder than last time, but apparently not loud enough for Murdoc, as he breaks Mac’s thumb, the final finger on his left hand.

Mac screams that time, his whole hand was pulsing with sharp pain.  He doesn’t respond the next time Murdoc asks him, and Murdoc moves to the next hand, a dark glint in his eyes that shows whatever pity he had before for Mac is gone.  

Without asking again or waiting for Mac to answer, Murdoc breaks all five fingers on his right hand in quick succession, and Mac can’t contain the screams that rip their way out of his throat.  Mac sags in his bonds, his breaths coming in short gasps.

Once Murdoc finishes, he reaches out once more to cup Mac’s chin, and forces him to make eye contact.  “I do hope you learned your lesson today, MacGyver.  We wouldn’t want to have to do that again.”

After a few moments, he lets go of Mac’s chin and walks out of the room.  Mac hears faint whistling as he finally lets the tears that he had been holding back fall, and looks down at his mangled hands.

I will not try to escape again.

[emachinescat]

Wind + Water - Tree in the Road

A MacGyver Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat

@febuwhump day 12 / alt. 5 - hostage situation

Summary: AU of 2x21.  The bank robbers make their escape with Mac, but this time there isn’t a tree in the road to slow them down.  The rest of the team arrive at the marina just in time to see the robbers procuring a boat - and they have every intention of taking their hostage with them.

Characters: Mac, Jack, Riley, Bozer, Matty, the robbers from 2x21 (apparently their names are Booth, Pike, Dean and Ash)

Words: 4,129

Note: The Spanish is a mixture of my own adventure learning the language (I’m getting there) and a more advanced translator than Google.  Hopefully there aren’t any mistakes, if so - I apologize to any Spanish speakers.

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this! :)

“So, for the record, this wasn’t part of the deal,” Angus MacGyver informed his captors testily as he carefully steered the stolen Chevrolet down the narrow, debris strewn backroad toward San Juan Marina and Boat Rentals.  Even though his eyes were on the road, he kept the gun pointed at him in his peripheral vision.  He felt the eyes of the four bank robbers on him, so he continued, very aware that no appeal to logic or conscience that he made at this point would have any effect, largely because these men had depleted stores of both.  Plus, they were desperate.  “I said I’d get you out with the money if you left all the hostages behind,” he continued, then added pointedly, “All including me.”  

One of the three robbers in the backseat, Pike, leaned forward to give their hostage a hearty slap on the back, which sent waves of agony shooting through his battered body.  Mac’s sides, stomach, and back felt every kick and weighted punch, and his mouth tasted like blood.  “Guess you shoulda been more specific,” he taunted, and Mac glanced back long enough to see the amusement on the man’s face.

“Honestly,” said the leader – his followers had called him Booth – “After giving us a glimpse of what you’re capable of, you really think we’d just let you go?”  His tone made it clear that it wouldn’t have mattered if Mac had drawn out and made them sign an extensive contract expressly stating that he was to be left behind with the other hostages, nothing about his predicament would have changed.  He’d gotten them out of a seemingly impossible situation, he’d made himself a valuable asset, and if there was one thing Mac understood about desperate people, it was that once they had something they saw as an advantage, they would never let it go.

The realization left a distinctly sour feeling in Mac’s stomach. He’d been seen and used as a tool before – in the army, he was a bomb defuser; for Phoenix, he was a kind of real-life troubleshooter.  But even in the army, he’d still been a person whose life mattered.  And now, he knew he was valued for so much more than just his skill set by his friends.  

Here, though, with these four men who looked at him with a kind of contemptuous greed in their eyes, he was nothing but a tool, something to be used to their advantage, over and over, until his usefulness had run out, and then he would be discarded like a broken drill bit.  To Booth, Pike, and the others, Mac was less than human, and it made him feel dirty and used and caused his chest to tighten anxiously despite his cool demeanor.  He knew he had to find a way to get away, and soon.  Otherwise, one of two equally unfortunate things was going to happen to him: Either he would be used to bargain their way off the island and then, as soon as they were safely away, he’d be shot and tossed overboard, or they would decide to keep and use him, and his life would become a living hell.  Neither option was a possibility that Mac was willing to entertain, so he would keep his eyes out for the first chance of escape.  

Noting once again the scattering of wreckage in and lining the road, Mac found himself hoping for a large piece of debris – perhaps a fallen tree or power line – would end up in their path.  If they ended up having to get out of the car for any reason, that might give him the chance to plan an escape.  Until then, with the five of them in such close quarters, with all but Mac armed, it was too risky to try anything.  He’d wait for his opportunity, and then make his move.

***

Mac’s opportunity for escape never came, and as he reluctantly directed the vehicle into the marina, the knot it his stomach had imploded into a cavernous pit.  Real tendrils of fear radiated through him, and a furious sense of injustice made his knuckles white and his fingers cramp from the grip he maintained on the steering wheel.  Normally when he was out in the field and in a risky situation, he’d end up finding what he needed to make an escape or at the very least to put a significant hitch in the bad guy’s plan.  It was something he’d come to take for granted, he realized, this bit of luck, that he always had something to work with.  This time, he hadn’t been asking for much – just a piece of debris, a block in the road, on an island ravaged by a natural disaster!  Something should have stood in their way.  The statistical probability of the road being blocked at some point in the twenty-minute drive – especially considering the situation in Puerto Rico – was incredibly high.  He’d counted on that blockage.

And while there had been a couple of branches scattered in their path, none were large enough to hold them up for long at all, and at no point had Mac been allowed out of the car.  In the back of his mind, he remembered what Matty had said to him when she had first taken over.  She didn’t want to be there when Mac’s luck ran out.  He’d been quick to assure her that it wasn’t luck, that he was good at what he did, but now he had his doubts.  If he wasn’t given anything to work with at all, how was he supposed to do what he was so good at?

Still, Angus MacGyver had never been one to give up, and he continued to keep his eyes peeled for anything at all he might be able to use to his advantage.  Even if he couldn’t escape here and now, he would find a way to survive and get back to his friends.  He always did.  

“Stop here.”

Mac did as he was told, putting the car in park and waiting for further instructions.  The gun was still trained on him, and he knew that none of his other captors would hesitate to put a bullet in him from behind if he made one move they didn’t like.  “Dean, grab the kid,” Booth snapped, and the youngest of the robbers, the one who had been gearing up to kill all of the hostages and who couldn’t be any older than Mac himself, got out of the car, went around to Mac’s door, pulled the hostage out of the seat and shoved him forward.  Mac forced himself not to fight back, because Dean’s gun was now pressed into the small of his back, and his voice was deadly as he ordered, “Move.”

The marina was fairly deserted, which would have been odd any other time, but it was midday and most people were either already out on the water or further inland, helping with cleanup and rebuilding.  The only person in sight was the young woman working boat rentals.  She had an open, kind face with eyes that had seen their fair share of suffering – it was a look Mac had seen in Carlos’s more vulnerable moments, and in the eyes of everyone he’d met while on the island.

“Hola,” she greeted, a bit flustered at the new arrivals.  “¿Te puedo ayudar?”  Mac thought that she probably didn’t see a lot of business nowadays.  Tourists were the ones who rented boats more often than not – the locals usually had their own – and tourism had plummeted since the hurricane.  Mac noticed that the bank robbers had hidden their weapons, other than the one at Mac’s back, and to the girl it must have looked like Mac and Dean were just walking close together, side by side.  Maybe she thought they were a couple.  Mac made sure his face was neutral, not wanting to give anything away and put this poor girl in danger.  If only the marina had been deserted, with no one else in the crosshairs!  

“Do I look like I speak Spanish?” Booth snapped impatiently.  

The girl blinked, eyes wide, taken aback by the rudeness.  “I – I’m sorry,” she stammered in heavily accented English.  Mac’s heart went out to her even as he felt his revulsion for his captors grow.  It literally would have expended the same amount of energy to treat the girl with an ounce of respect.  These men were assholes just because they could be. 

“We need a boat,” Booth ordered briskly.  “Now.”

“Bien – ah, okay.”  She looked scared that her accidental slip was going to get her yelled at again.  “Our skippers are not on site at the moment, and most of our boats are being repaired.  We do have one –”

“We’ll take it,” Booth growled, and the girl flinched back at the harshness of his tone.  Tears forming in her eyes, she glanced around briefly at the other men in the party, her eyes landing on Mac last.  He offered her a sympathetic half-smile, knowing that the girl – Mia, her name tag said – was probably having her worst day on the job yet.  At least she didn’t know the true colors of the difficult customers she was dealing with.  

As if worried Mac was trying to tip Mia off, Dean tightened his grip on Mac’s arm and rammed the barrel of the gun painfully into his back.  Mac didn’t react other than to break eye contact with their hostess, who abruptly got back to her task.  “Do you have a boating license that I can see?”  Her dark eyes plainly showed she was afraid of the answer – afraid of what would happen if they did not have the proper documentation and she had to tell them no.

“I don’t have a damn license,” Booth answered, impatience rising with his voice.  

“Lo siento – I’m sorry, you can’t rent a boat without a skipper if you don’t have a license.”  At the fury on her tormentors’ faces, her eyes darted desperately to Mac, as if she had sensed he wasn’t like the others and would step out and ask his friends to give it a rest.  Not wanting to risk her life, Mac felt guilt rise in him as he pointedly avoided her gaze.  Her voice thick with emotion, she regrouped and offered, “But I can call and have someone here within the hour to take you out.”

Booth lost his temper completely.  Slamming his fist down on the counter, he leaned over the cowering girl and hissed in a deadly tone that brooked no argument, “You will get us a boat now.”  Mia stood frozen in shock, and Booth glanced back over his shoulder at his three men and their hostage.  Collectively, they came to a silent agreement – obviously, the subtle approach wasn’t working, and they were running out of time.  With deft movement, so seamless it could have been rehearsed, Dean let go of Mac’s arm and shoved him into Booth, who twisted his greedy, filthy hand in Mac’s hair for the second time that day.  Mac grunted in pain as his head was yanked back and stilled his instinctive struggling as the sun-warmed barrel of Booth’s gun found the left carotid artery in Mac’s neck.  “If you don’t,” Booth added grimly, “I’m going to kill him right before your eyes.”  

Mia’s eyes darted to Mac’s once more and he saw the barely controlled terror just beneath the surface.  She hesitated, and the gun jabbed deeper into Mac’s neck as the safety clicked off, and Mac fought the urge to squeeze his eyes shut as his heart jumped into overdrive.  “You’ll be scrubbing his blood off this dock for the next year,” Booth promised, “and you’ll never get it off your pretty little hands.”

Mac thought for a terrifying moment that Mia was going to pass out or break down, as she swayed slightly on the spot, but then she steeled herself, an inner strength that Mac was proud to see flowing into her.  She straightened her spine, offered a small, scared smile that was probably meant to be reassuring at Mac, and nodded curtly.  “Okay,” she said in a thin voice, and it barely shook, though her hand did as she reached for a set of keys hanging on the wall behind her.  “Just… don’t hurt him, please.”

As she slowly moved away from the wooden counter and motioned for the men to follow her along the dock to their new vessel, Booth yanked Mac’s head back fiercely and whispered, “I knew you would come in handy in some way,” and then shoved Mac forward, finally releasing his hair – Mac’s scalp ached and his neck had already developed a painful stiffness from being twisted back in such an uncomfortable position. The gun moved to the back of Mac’s head.  The safety remained off.

Everything moved far too quickly after that.  It seemed that no time had passed until Mac was being forced onto the deck of a small craft barely big enough for the five of them.  Mac graciously offered to stay behind, and received a crack to the back of the head with the pistol butt in response.  At some point, one of the robbers – Ash, Mac thought his name was – had stepped in and tied Mac’s hands behind his back with sturdy nautical rope.  Mac hadn’t had a single opportunity to attempt escape throughout the whole process, as not only was Booth’s gun still at the base of his neck, but Pike’s own weapon was on the helpless Mia who stood on the dock, tears streaming down her face as she watched the men prepare to leave with their hostage.  Mac knew that if he even thought about doing something stupid, she would be killed without a second thought.

And then many things happened at once – a battered orange car swerved into the parking lot, the sound of screaming sirens not far behind.  Mac couldn’t help but grin when he saw who jumped out: his team, Riley, Bozer, and Jack – who had death in his eyes.  Mac had seen that look many times before.  Someone had threatened his partner.  Mac didn’t envy Booth and his goons once Jack Wyatt Dalton got his hands on them.

Jack already had his own gun drawn as he raced onto the dock.  His boots thunked hollowly against the boards as he sprinted for the boat, keen sights already on the bastard who had his paws on his kid.

But Booth had all the power here, with Mac in his clutches, and he knew it. And with the innocent civilian being held at gunpoint, he’d doubly covered his ass.  Mac’s hope at seeing his team faltered when he realized that Jack’s being here really didn’t change a thing.  It would just make this so much worse, because Jack would be forced to watch as Mac was taken, and when he could finally chase after them, it would probably be too late.  As if to solidify this knowledge, Mac felt Booth’s hand twine in his hair, again – what was it with this guy and Mac’s hair, anyway? – and the gun was back beneath his jaw, Mac could feel the artery rapidly pulsing against the unyielding metal.

“You make one more step, and Boy Wonder here dies,” Booth shouted right in Mac’s ear.  Mac locked eyes with Jack, who stuttered obediently to a stop, Riley and Bozer following suit.  Even now, Mac knew that his partner was desperately searching for any opening, any shot he could take to save his friend.

“I’d put that gun down, if I were you,” Ash called out.

Jack glared at him, unrelenting.  “Who invited Papa Smurf to the party?” he joked, but Mac clearly saw the anxiety in every line on his face.  

A shot rang out.  Mia screamed.  A smoking hole had appeared inches from her feet: The bullet had buried itself into the planks.  “He said,” Booth repeated, “put down your gun.”  He punctuated his words with a brutal yank of Mac’s hair.  “Next time, I put a bullet in your friend. No more warnings.”

Loathing poured off of Jack in waves, but he did as he was told and lowered the weapon, though he didn’t put it down.  The sirens drew nearer, and Mac knew his captors were going to have to make their move before the police arrived, or things would get even messier.  “Ash, start the damn boat,” Booth ordered.  

The man did as he was told, inserting the key, and the engine spluttered, coughed, and fell silent.  He tried again.  Nothing.

“What the hell, man?” Dean barked, an edge of panic creeping into his voice.  

“I’m trying!” Ash shot back, making another attempt to start the motor.  

For a split second, Mac felt Booth twist behind him, trying to get a look at what was going on, and in that moment, Pike was distracted as well.  Just one look away from their hostages was all that Mac and Jack needed – maybe the universe was looking out for them, after all.  While Booth was distracted, both his grip on Mac and on the gun momentarily slackened, and Mac inched over and made himself as small as possible to give Jack a better shot at the man behind him.  The gun was far too close to his face for Mac to lash out himself; now was a time to stand aside and let Jack do what he did best.

In the span of five seconds, Jack brought his gun back up and shot both Pike and Booth in quick succession.  He hit Pike first in the gun hand, and the man toppled over the side of the boat, howling in agony.  Booth’s bullet too had been perfectly timed and aimed – it hit him in the side of the head as he turned back around to deal with his hostage.  He dropped, the gun clattering from his hand, dead before he hit the ground.  It had been a tight shot, and quite the gamble considering the gun that had still been at Mac’s throat, but Jack had timed it perfectly, and Mac never doubted him once. 

***

The next half hour was a blur of police sirens – “‘Bout time you got here,” Jack griped testily – painful but welcome hugs from his friends, and a collective promise of painkillers, a four-way lecture, a hasty debrief, and much-needed rest, in that exact order, on their flight to their next op.  

Jack had been livid, insisting that Mac needed more than on-the-go treatment, but Matty was firm – this op couldn’t wait.  Her fierce eyes did soften when she got a good look at the state that her agent was in, though, and assured him that he was getting a thorough check by medical the second they got home.  Until then, she ordered, with no room for argument, he was to rest and recuperate, and so help her God, if he purposefully threw himself into this kind of mess again.... She didn’t actually finish her threat, which made it all the scarier, and Mac had promised to be good on the next mission.  (Nobody really believed him, though.)

Secretly, though, he was glad that he would get a chance to rest on the flight, because every single bruise, cut, ache, and pain called out, vying for his attention.  A cursory check by Jack and a frazzled EMT revealed that though no ribs were broken, he had severe bruising along his back, sides, and torso.  Booth had chipped a tooth when he’d kicked Mac in the mouth, and Mac did not look forward to spending some quality time with the dentist when he got home.  And there was a nasty, bloody welt on the back of his head from where he’d been pistol-whipped.  

Added to that, his entire body, from his scalp to the tips of his toes ached with a bone-deep weariness that came from the physical abuse and stress of his time as a hostage.  As Jack had reminded him on more than one occasion when Mac had tried to brush similar experiences off, just because it wasn’t his first rodeo, it didn’t make it any less traumatic for his mind or his body – he was still human, after all.  Now, Mac found himself reluctantly agreeing – emotionally, mentally, and physically, he felt in that moment every single thing that had been done to him from the second he’d snuck into that bank.

As usual, though, Mac filed away everything he was feeling to deal with – or even more appealingly, to not deal with – later.  

While Matty finalized the details of their flight, Mac tied up a few loose ends of his own.  First, he called Carlos and spoke to him for a few moments, reassuring his friend that he was really okay and getting the same reassurances in return.  Mac wanted to see Carlos and his family one more time before they took off, but Carlos was just now being released from the hospital, and the Phoenix team was on a very tight schedule.  He did promise to come back and visit soon, and was able to reveal the exciting news that Matty was sending another team in their place, to continue to help with rebuilding.

Next, Mac made his way over to Mia, who was sitting on the edge of an ambulance, her sandaled feet dangling off the side and a bottle of water cradled in her hands.  “Hola,” Mac greeted, and she offered him a small smile.  Mac realized that she was even younger than he’d thought – she couldn’t be more than eighteen or nineteen years old.  “I’m, uh, really sorry about everything,” he stammered, feeling that his words were thoroughly inadequate.

“You have nothing to apologize for!” she exclaimed, dark eyebrows furrowing over kind hazel eyes.  

Mac didn’t agree – as always, that incessant feeling that he could have done more reared its ugly head – but he changed the subject anyway, because Riley and Bozer were approaching, and he knew his time was running short.  “Quiero darte las gracias.” It was important to him that he thanked her in her own language, after the way Booth had treated it.  She deserved better.

She tilted her head, dark brown ponytail swinging with the motion, but a soft smile touched her lips at his fluent but accented Spanish.  “¿Para qué?”

Unable to call the exact words to mind in Spanish, courtesy, he knew, of the light concussion he almost certainly had, he switched back to English apologetically, but Mia didn’t seem to mind at all.  “That was a risky play,” he admitted, “giving them the keys to a boat that didn’t work.  But it was brilliant – and it bought my friend enough time to take control of the situation.  Great job thinking ahead.  You saved my life.”

A brilliant blush colored her cheeks at Mac’s praise.

***

Twenty minutes and a couple of painkillers later, Mac found himself curled up in his seat on the Phoenix jet waiting for the inevitable lecture to start.  He know it had been a stupid and dangerous risk, sneaking into the bank and making himself a hostage.  But he knew that his actions had saved lives, and he would make the same choice if anything like it happened again. 

Jack dropped down into the seat beside him.  “You look like hell, brother,” he observed.  Jack Dalton didn’t sugar coat anything.

“Yeah, well,” Mac admitted, too tired to put up his normal unaffected front.  “Feel like it too.”

The lines around Jack’s eyes deepened.  “The kids are already settling in for the flight,” he said.  “Get some sleep?”

“I thought you guys had a lecture all primed and ready,” Mac muttered, already feeling his eyelids dragging themselves down.  He was exhausted, from everything he’d been through, the pain, and the drugs.  

“Aaah,” Jack waved his hand dismissively.  “What’s the point of lecturin’ you if you’re too strung out to actually hear what we’re trying to drill into that big brain of yours?”

Mac quirked a half-smile.  “Or you could just skip the lecture all together.  You know that you would’ve done the exact same thing in my shoes.”

Jack shrugged.  “Maybe, but tryin’ to get you to look after yourself has become a kind of bonding thing for the rest of us.  And it’s fun seeing you squirm.”

Mac groaned.  “You know I never listen.”

A long-suffering sigh.  “And that’s why my hair’s going gray, hoss.”

Letting his eyes fall shut, Mac couldn’t help but squeeze in one last, murmured jab.  “No, it’s definitely an age thing.”

Mac didn’t hear Jack’s indigent retort, or the quiet cackling of Riley and Bozer from the seats behind.  

He was already asleep.