#it'd feel more incomplete without it

[psink]

Whilst overall I prefer the manga to the anime, there's one aspect that I think the anime does better - the very ending.

Compared to the manga's very compactly shown thoughts of the cast, the anime gives each of them a short scene.

But although that change already is great, what matters to me the most, is this added scene of Saiko.

Despite it being so short, it feels so fitting and important to Saiko's character, making its absence in the original seem wrong. (They also added Rifuta, though comparatively, her scene isn't so significant.)

[comicaurora]

Do you think ethics are just an attempt at being a healthier form of selfish?

In one of your Detail Diatribes where Batman confronts Catwoman and tries to stop her from killing Falcone, you highlighted the fact that his reasoning was not to protect her father, but to try and save her. Ever since, some very strange ideas about the nature of selfishness and selflessness have been rattling around my head.

It only started coming into focus when I tried to put into words why it was a bad thing that D-16 killed Sentinel Prime. My best answer right now is because it made D-16 into Megatron. Orion wasn't trying to save Sentinel, he was trying to protect the cybertronian people. Maybe if Orion focused more on saving D-16, they wouldn't have lost their friendship and all of Cybertron would be better for it. Of course, in the end, Megatron was the deciding factor in making himself, caring more about his pride than his current identity, but this highlights a strange selfish quirk in sustainable selfless behavior.

If you are purely selfless you suffer from spending more of yourself than you have to give. If you're too selfish you can't maintain the human connections that are a requirement for being a complete and healthy person. It leaves the best options as being selfless to make your environment an easier one for you to live in. Where your actions for others are repaid by the selflessness from your community. Or, being selfish with your charity. Taking care of what you care about because their well being positively contributes to your own.

To be fair, the opening sentence now looks like an incomplete thought. It probably should be asking if you think ethics is just an attempt at being a more healthy form of selfish and selfless. Really, just asking if ethics is meant to make you better at being a person, which seems like a question that can answer itself. Still, it feels like an important insight to highlight that to be ethical isn’t about how much of your own life you're willing to sacrifice. It's hard to be a good person when you're not a person anymore.

This is a fascinatingly deep question, and I'm very tickled that our two touchpoints in it are a transforming robot tank and Batman.

My personal opinion is that ethics and morals are not reflections of some universal truth of Justice and Goodness, as they are often framed, but are instead best-practice guidelines on how to function in the big, messy world without causing undue suffering to yourself and others. A facet of this is determining, case by case, how much you need to prioritize yourself vs how much you can afford to help others - in the framing you've proposed, selfishness vs selflessness.

Taking the specific examples we're focusing on - two cases where someone attempts to prevent a revenge killing for the benefit, not of the victim, but of the avenger - I think they reflect this worldview, that the killing is not seen as some innately universally-judged evil act that must be prevented for its own sake, but that the act of killing will harm the killer in a way the person trying to stop them doesn't want to see.

For Catwoman, committing premeditated murder wouldn't solve any of her problems in any way that arresting Falcone and having him legally unraveled would. It'd just park a first degree murder charge on someone who'd up til this point only dealt with petty larceny, and it would potentially weigh her down with misery and regret as she grappled with the trauma of taking a life.

For Megatron, killing Sentinel Prime wasn't a bad action because he deserved to live. They just spent that whole fight scene tearing through enemies. They're warriors on track to spend the next four million years killing each other; the whole "taking a life" ship has already sailed. The problem is that Sentinel is a symbol and a structural part of the political narrative in the founding of the next stage of Cybertron's society. If the first thing the new regime does is bloodily avenge itself on the face of the old regime for the personal wrongs it did them, that proves that the only thing they care about is personal satisfaction of their individual desires - just like Sentinel. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. If they can instead take a step back, think of the good of Cybertron as a whole, enforce a rule of law and a fair system of justice that applies equally to everyone, even on someone they personally loathe, that would signify integrity and credibility and the hallmark of wise, just and fair leadership capable of setting aside personal feelings for the greater good. It's not about Sentinel; it's about whether the satisfaction of killing him is worth the price of enforcing forever that personal vendettas are more important than the well-being of the people of Cybertron. Which makes it really obvious which one Megatron is going to pick.

My hottest take, and I mean this very genuinely, is that most of the human perception of what constitutes goodness and justice is one thousand percent based on vibes, and is extremely susceptible to narrative reframing. We see an unsympathetic victim (Sentinel Prime, Falcone) who has gleefully caused suffering to innocent people (so judged because they are framed sympathetically, not because we've actually enumerated their lifelong actions to determine they've never done anything wrong) and we feel (feel) that it would be right and just for them to suffer consequences (emphasis on suffer) because that would balance the scales on this vibes equation and that would make us feel like justice had been served. Would this suffering lead to any material good? Not inherently. Would it heal the victims? Not usually. Would it remove the source of the problem? Categorically not, what with how negative reinforcement works (or rather does not work.) It also wouldn't do anything about the other people empowered by the same system to be just as shitty in just as many ways that just happen to be offscreen from our POV. But it feels fair. So what is justice, if it reduces down to "I want them to hurt for the hurt they've caused me"? If it can be sated with a spectacle or distracted by a long nap and a good joke to let the feeling fade? What purpose does this justice serve if it is devoted wholly to the satiation of a bone-deep chordate-brain hunger for Retributive Violence rather than towards actually ensuring that the lives of those harmed are healed and supported and built up again after being broken down? (This is the entire core character arc in The Batman, btw, I'm not just monologuing for no reason here. He calls himself Vengeance for a reason, and the reason is he's doing Batman wrong)

That feeling - that white-hot burning core of Righteous Fury - is the unexamined heart of many systems of morality that focus, not on doing good, but on exacting satisfying retribution on Bad People Who Deserve It, categorized as People Who I Can Hurt Without Feeling Bad Myself. It's a very tempting concept for people who have suffered at others' hands. That feeling, that powerful instinctual understanding of "that's unfair," is incredibly strong. In my opinion, most systems of ethics are built, not around relitigating what is Good and what is Bad per se, but in trying to shape and curb that bone-deep, unbelievably powerful desire to rend the flesh from the bones of your tormenters.

But I mentioned that feeling is susceptible to narrative reframing. This is, as I understand it, a huge part of lawyering. Tell the story of what happened using true events and adding no falsehoods, but highlight the parts that make it feel like your client is the one who is being treated unfairly. They're not an unsympathetic wrongdoer who you can punish without personal moral stain - they're a loving spouse, a parent of three adorable children, they have a really cute puppy, they donate to charity, they're a wonderful conversationalist, a kind friend, etc etc. All those things can also be true of people who do terrible things, but thinking about them defuses that White Hot Core by making us sympathize with the sympathetic parts of them.

This is incredibly well-understood in fiction. It's the whole reason the tropes Kick The Dog and Pet The Dog exist. When you want the audience to root for a character's destruction, leave aside any of their potential quiet moments of sympathy - their tragic backstory, their cute pet, their adorable relationship with their mom - and instead show them going out of their way to commit some minor act of petty cruelty, say Kicking The Dog. The audience will infer that this badness is 24/7 and they have no reason to curb their enthusiasm for Righteous Vengeance. But if the writer wants the audience to see a spark of good in them, to sympathize, to believe they can be redeemed, they'll highlight one of those small moments of charming kindness, and allow them to Pet The Dog instead.

Neither of these acts, in the grand scale, have any bearing on the morality of this person's actions. A pet dog doesn't counterbalance a razed village; a kicked dog doesn't negate a generous contribution to the local soup kitchen. Goodness and badness is not a linear scale added or subtracted to by opposing deeds. BUT showing them to an audience reframes them narratively, and THAT is what shapes the judgment of the White Hot Burning Core. In the space of fiction, this form of bottom-shelf emotional manipulation is one of the cleanest ways to get the audience to root for the messy destruction of what is ostensibly, in the universe of the fiction, a wholly complex and living person who definitely has reasons for everything they've done, even ones that could be framed sympathetically when shown.

Meanwhile, in the real world, ethics are an attempt to judge what is best in a given situation without trusting the White Hot Burning Core to make the call, no matter how compelling "but it would feel really good though" might seem. They try to give someone perspective, context, other priorities to consider. The White Hot Burning Core might want you to rip someone's arms off for driving slow when you've got important places to be, but Ethics can present a number of compelling reasons not to do that - even if it's just "ripping their arms off will definitely make me even more late." And yes, this can be a balance of Selfishness Vs Selflessness. You are one of the people whose wellbeing ethics is designed to make you prioritize improving even if it feels weird, and when all other things are equal, your own health and happiness can be the deciding factor. In a world with an overarching Moral Force that weighs the goodness of your soul by sifting through every grain of action and intent seeking negativity to punish you for, absolute selflessness to the point of self destruction would still probably be seen as Morally Wrong, simply because the universe is a better place with you in it trying your best.

Anyway, if doing the right thing was simple, easy and painless, we probably wouldn't have so many thousands of years of arguing about what it looks like. Good luck out there everybody 👍

[casscainmainly]

The Evolution of Cassandra Cain's Dialogue

Since Batgirl #1 is out and thriving, I thought it'd be fun to dive into the history of Cass' dialogue throughout different writers/runs. This is not comprehensive - I'll miss some writers, but I'll be covering her generally most known runs in mainline continuity (so no DCeased, Shadow of the Batgirl, etc.). Not a linguist by any means, so linguists on here feel free to chime in! (I'll also give opinions on which interpretations I personally prefer at the end).

Without further ado, we'll start at the beginning:

Kelley Puckett - Batgirl (2000)

Pre-issue 4, Cass speaks minimally in one-word sentences and doesn't have internal narration. Post-issue 4 (when a metahuman changes Cass' brain), she develops an internal monologue and begins to speak longer sentences. I'm splitting Puckett's Cass dialogue into 3 stages: early, middle, and late.

Early (#4 - #12): Cass speaks short, fragmented sentences. Each word has an ellipses between them (panel 1 above, from #7).

Middle (#13 - #24): Cass continues to speak incomplete sentences (often missing a subject or pronouns), but without ellipses (panel 2, from #13).

Late (#25 onwards): Cass begins to speak complete, simple sentences, punctuated by a few ellipses (panel 3, from #33). She continues to speak grammatically (though slowly) throughout the final part of Puckett's run.

Dylan Horrocks - Batgirl (2000)

Horrocks writes very similarly to late-Puckett, with Cass speaking in full, simple sentences, punctuated by the occasional ellipses. Horrocks introduces two new elements to her dialogue:

Cass stutters, sometimes repeating a word or phrase at the beginning of a sentence (panel 1 above, from #39). This is mostly used in the earlier parts of Horrocks' run.

She quotes reality TV (panel 2, from #51).

Maybe because of the reality TV, Cass also speaks more colloquially here than in Puckett's run, using phrases like "come 'n' get it" (from #57).

Andersen Gabrych - Batgirl (2000)

Gabrych's run focuses heavily on Cass' dialogue. Panel 1 above, from #58, suggests her narration boxes are another form of dialogue - Cass is speaking into a recorder. Several features of Gabrych's Cass dialogue are:

Ellipses: Even more than his predecessors, Gabrych scatters ellipses throughout Cass' speech (panel 1).

Fillers: Cass extensively uses filler words such as 'uh', 'um', and 'like' (panel 1, panel 2 from #61).

Longer sentences: Cass is more talkative and speaks longer sentences (panel 1, which is basically more words per panel than Puckett and Horrocks combined).

Wordplay: Cass often ponders definitions and word structures (panel 1, 2).

Adam Beechen - Batgirl (2008)

After evil Cass (that dialogue is not worth discussing), Beechen gets another chance with Cass in this miniseries. More than any other writer, Beechen differentiates Cass' internal monologue from her dialogue - her narration boxes are much wordier than her speech.

Her dialogue is a more loquacious version of late-Puckett or Horrocks: full sentences interspersed with ellipses (panel 1, from #1). The ellipses drop off towards the end of the series.

Her narration boxes use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary. They read more or less as fluent English (panel 2, from #4).

Scott Snyder - Gates of Gotham (2011)

Snyder's Cass somewhat resembles mid-Puckett, using short sentences without ellipses (panel 1, from #2). She speaks a fair amount, but is more taciturn here than in any previous run. This is partially due to her not having narration boxes.

A unique feature of Snyder's Cass is preferring formal to informal speech. Though she uses contractions (panel 1), she goes large stretches without them (panel 2, from #3). She also omits the subject of a sentence only once in 5 issues, whereas native speakers (like Dick) drop the subject all the time ('have you ever been to Paris?' vs. 'ever been to Paris?'; Snyder's Cass would always say the former instead of the latter).

Sidenote: Batman & Robin: Eternal (2015)

Quick note about B&R:E: Cass is reintroduced into canon after being erased by the New 52, which means she's back to having very limited language ability. The series is scripted by multiple people, so it's hard to analyse. Suffice it to say she speaks in monosyllabic words, at most a short, incomplete sentence, but is mostly silent.

James Tynion IV - Detective Comics (2016)

Because Cass' language ability has been reset, Tynion develops her speech along the lines of Batgirl (2000).

Early Tynion has Cass speaking single word sentences (panel 1, from #938). Very similar to pre-metahuman touch Cass in BG (2000).

During the League of Shadows arc, Cass begins to speak a few words at a time, often separated by an ellipsis (panel 2, from #956).

Afterwards, Cass' friendship with Basil Karlo blossoms, leading to this run's most distinctive language feature - Cass improves her speech via studying and quoting Shakespeare (panel 3, from #958). Her improvement is reflected in the rest of the run through speaking longer and more frequent sentences.

Bryan Hill - Batman & The Outsiders (2019)

Like other writers, Hill's Cass generally uses short, simple sentences. She frequently drops the subject or pronoun in a sentence (panel 1, from #1). Hill doesn't use ellipses to separate the sentences, opting for periods most of the time.

Cass sometimes omits other words from her sentences too, dropping articles like 'a' and 'the' (panel 2, from #4), prepositions like 'to', and verbs like 'is' (panel 3, from #9). This peters out in the second half of the run.

Becky Cloonan and Michael W. Conrad - Batgirls (2022)

Similar to mid-Puckett, Batgirls has Cass speak mostly in short, 1-2 word sentences (panel 1, from #2). Cloonan and Conrad occasionally use ellipses as well, though mostly for emphasis/natural hesitation rather than indicating a unique speech pattern (panel 2, from #7).

Cass also has a habit of repeating/echoing a phrase Stephanie says (panel 3, from #16). This might be more of a friendship thing than a speech thing, though.

Alyssa Wong - Spirit World (2023)

Wong's Cass uses short sentences sometimes interrupted by ellipses, like late-Puckett and Horrocks (panel 1, from #1). Generally, if the sentence is three words or less, there won't be an ellipsis (panel 2, from #5).

Kelly Thompson - Birds of Prey (2023)

Thompson's Cass draws on a lot of previous iterations, but is somewhat unique as a whole. Some elements of BoP Cass include:

She speaks in sentences of varying lengths, but rarely with more than one clause (panel 1, from #1). Thompson is more strict about not using commas with Cass than most other writers.

Cass is a little more talkative (panel 2, from #5). Her sentences are fairly lengthy compared to most other runs, and she doesn't always opt for the shortest way to say things ('where is it?' instead of 'do you know where it is?'). Thompson also doesn't use ellipses, which adds to the sentences feeling longer/more complete.

BoP is ongoing so Thompson may add more to her speech.

Sidenote: Ram V - Detective Comics (2023)

Putting this in a sidenote since there's not much to say, but Ram V takes after mid-Puckett, with Cass using shorter, incomplete sentences. Cass almost always omits the subject of a sentence; her dialogue is as short as possible while retaining clarity.

Thoughts

Because Cass' language disability is a core part of her character, but learning to speak is also a core part of her character, I prefer writers who emphasize her unique speech patterns without reducing her range of expression. My favourites are:

Gabrych - by far the person who put the most effort into his dialogue, Gabrych-Cass has such a vibrant, distinctive style of speaking. The narration boxes, Cass' wordplay, and the use of fillers and ellipses all combine for a speech style that highlights her disability without reducing her to it.

Puckett/Horrocks - combining because they are really very similar. Puckett and Horrocks both use ellipses to great effect, and is a great style to emulate for Cass in an earlier stage of life. Horrocks' use of reality TV is severely underutilised. Puckett, of course, is the gold standard for typical Cass dialogue - if Gabrych's style is a little too much, Puckett and Horrocks are the way to go.

Tynion - mostly because of the Shakespeare thing. It's such a beautiful and clever way of showing her progress, and the amount of symbolism you could do with Cass quoting Shakespeare is unmatched.

I don't super enjoy the more talkative Casses (Beechen, Thompson to an extent), though I kind of like Snyder's take because there's a sense of Cass being very careful with her speech there. If you're writing Cass for a fanfic or something, I would avoid Hill's Outsiders; the run is great, but Cass' ungrammatical speech is unusual and doesn't jibe with the rest of her depictions. Ram V and Wong are relatively good depictions to draw from though.

Of course these are my opinions! I may have gotten some things wrong/overgeneralised stuff, so take all this with a grain of salt. All you need to know is you should read Batgirl (2000) :).

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, I'm working on an Avatar OC. She is a relatively strong waterbender who gets into an accident that paralyzes her from the waist down. It's the kind of paralysis where there is no danger in someone else moving her legs around for her, but her brain is unable to control her leg muscles itself. She ends up secretly learning how to bloodbend, and decides to use it to help make her walk by bloodbending her own legs (a process which takes a long while to learn, but gradually becomes more second nature after a year of constant practice).

I thought it would be a cool way of utilizing bloodbending in a positive way rather than a negative way, however, I realize this may fall into the "curing disabilities with magic" or "disability basically non-existent due to powers" tropes. If my OC's waterbending is taken away or significantly weakened, then she can't move her legs anymore, and walking still requires quite a bit of concentration (and more advanced movements like running are even harder). But I'm still concerned. Any advice on how to make this work without perpetuating harmful tropes?

Hi!

My first advice before getting to the superpower curing thing would be to thoroughly research spinal cord injuries. It's basically unheard of to only be paralyzed below the waist with no other symptoms. An SCI could be complete, incomplete, and then it has specific levels - sometimes people assume that it's either "below the neck" or "below the waist" but there's a whole more that can happen. For the purpose of this ask, I'm going to assume that she has a complete spinal cord injury on the lower thoracic level, maybe T9 to T12. If it's higher (like T6 or above), you should definitely research autonomic dysreflexia as well.

I'm glad that you caught this; I would classify this as a cure thing, or at least cure-adjacent.

I'm not certain how bloodbending her own legs would work - unless she was manipulating her whole body like a marionette, I don't think it would help much? I don't remember how exactly it worked in Avatar, but she would need her leg and hip muscles to actually contract (or at least consistently spasm) to bear her weight, or they would just bend underneath her. Her legs would probably be atrophied, so it'd be even harder.

None of this means you can't have her bloodbend to make her life easier while still leaving her disabled. There's definitely things that could work for her while also being more authentic to the issues she could have, rather than just un-disabling her.

One of the problems that she would have - that's also related to blood flow - would be pressure sores. It's basically when there's prolonged pressure on part of the skin and eventually tissue death occurs, if it's not treated it's lethal. As you can guess, it's a huge problem when it happens, and it's even worse when you can't feel a sore like this forming in the first place. She could make her life much easier and safer by learning how to push her blood everywhere to make sure she doesn't, you know, die. This is huge and genuinely life-changing, just not as spectacular as being able to walk with paralyzed legs I guess. She could maybe learn to bend her blood specifically to prevent this - she would learn of this being a possible problem very early on - and thus realize that bloodbending can be a positive and life-saving tool?

There are also scenarios where moving legs via bloodbending could be helpful. Legs weight a lot, and it can be a pain to move them around when transferring. Rather than having her manually grab them to get out of/into her wheelchair, she could just bloodbend her legs to be where they need to go. This omits the problem of her lower body probably not being able to hold her weight.

If she has complete paraplegia, she will have issues with her bladder - she could probably use her bending for that as well? If you don't want to go into a lot of detail, you can have her just empty the leg bag via waterbending. I imagine that being able to manage that whole process in a much faster way would be helpful for her.

These are just a few suggestions - I definitely encourage you to look deeper into spinal cord injuries and their symptoms, and think of some creative ways for her bending to help her other than making her walk.

mod Sasza

[copperbadge]

(same anon) I've been following you ever since I joined (recognised your name from the potter fandom lol) and I don't think of you as particularly oddly shaped, truly I don't. I have made two very good writer friends here/on AO3, one of whom only joined on here so we could chat, and with the other one I might meet up at some point this year! And there's nothing about these relationships that feels particularly parasocial to me. I think if you start looking or keep an open mind, tumblr is the only online place I would trust to actually deliver a real relationship (says the permanently single demisexual... so what do I know. but yeah :D)

I'm glad you're making friends in fandom!

I do think in some ways you're proving my point, though -- you don't think of me as someone who would struggle to date, but you only know me from tumblr. Even if you've known me from tumblr for a long time, which does convey more knowledge of a person, it's still a medium with a lot of filters on it, and I use those very deliberately at times.

And this is my community -- I don't want to be creeping on people here, even if I know how to go about it in a non-creepy fashion. When I was younger I did occasionally have relationships in fandom but they tended to end badly for reasons that eventually made me realize it was a bad idea to begin with. And at this point anyway it'd feel weird, like hitting on someone at a family reunion.

I'd love to think that as an amiable person who was literally diagnosed as charming I wouldn't struggle to find a partner, but that's why I think it's not really something I can change, it's just...a thing that is. Don't know why, but there's a lot of things I don't know. It's difficult to try the usual things, speed dating and singles nights and meetup groups and apps, and get consistent radio silence back while watching some real true dipshits find someone to tolerate them, but it's also reasonably hard data, especially after a certain sample size. There comes a point where you look at the potential return on investment and say, "Well, I guess that's not going to happen for me." It sounds sad and it is at times, but as I said in notes on the other post, I've never felt incomplete or like I couldn't go out and live life without a partner. It's just one part of life, and part of being an adult is accepting that we don't always get everything we want.

[niiikasa]

Honestly i was also of the assumption that yuuji would die to save megumi but i feel no matter which way you look at it, it would be a terrible conclusion to yuuji and megumi's characters, and 265 proves that. Even if it fulfills his grandfather's words, he'd still be stuck in a 'role', a path predetermined for him, which i think would be regressing from the message 265 is trying to make.

And he also wants to save Megumi, that's literally all he's been trying to do this entire time, it'd be wack if gege just decides all that build-up just to kill him off (though it wouldnt be the first time). And if he fails to save Megumi, then what would be the point, especially when he's sacrificed so much to do so? Yuuji has always wanted to save people, him breaking away from the cog mentality doesn't change that ideal. If all of that and he never ends up actually saving anyone in the end, after failing before (junpei, nanami, nobara) and now megumi, it wouldn't really be a conclusive resolution for him (unless gege goes the route of making him accept that sometimes you just can't save everyone and make him come to terms with the fact that he doesn't have to save anyone which admittedly would also be an interesting direction for the story to go, but i don't think yuuji is that type of character to change so drastically like that, especially this deep into the fight where he'd already lost so much trying to get him)

I don't think megumi will die either. I see this prediction that megumi might wake up, use the last of his strength to kill sukuna, and die in the process, but it wouldn't conclude his character imo. He'd still be incomplete, stuck in the climax of his character arc without a resolution. He never gets to process or deal with what happened to him, he never even takes control of his life (literally and metaphorically) nor does he ever reach his potential or find any sort of light at the end of the tunnel? (Gege has been a bit execessive with the deaths, but every single death that happened in this story, the character's arc is more or less concluded, and they accept death and are even smiling at the end (with the exception of junpei but he's a minor character all things considered) megumi wouldn't fit that criteria, as his character still hasn't completed, and there's still so much unresolved about him. Not to mention, it'd be a pretty disappointing way to kill off your deutrogonist.)

Yuuji dying wouldn't bode well for Megumi's character, either. Think about it; Megumi, since the start of the series, has been trying to save yuuji, tell him that his life is worth more than he's trying to sacrifice, and never lets him wallow in his own guilt or self-hatred and even tells him to share the burden. He's always of the belief that he DOESN'T want Yuuji to die, that he deserves to live, sukuna or not. He shares the same sentiment with his sister. But it wouldn't work for Megumi's character if all of this, Even after telling yuuji to give up on him and just kill him, he's the one that ends up living, and the two people he's been trying to save this entire time don't? What would be the point? (Again, gege could go the route of making Megumi learn to live for himself and not for the sake of others like his sister and Yuuji, but that development could be made just by his sister dying, he doesn't need to kill yuuji for that, too)

So i think gege changed his mind on that aspect of only one living and decided to keep them both alive. It would work well with the theme of the newer generations breaking the cycle of the older generations, where gojo and geto died before they could truly bear the consequences of their past mistakes (Culling Games) Yuuji and Megumi live through the consequences of what Sukuna did (Shibuya and Shinjuku) and share the burden together as opposed to Gojo and Geto whom beared it alone and drifted apart. But i guess thats too hopeful an ending for a manga like jjk lol

(There's also evidence of both of them dying so who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

GUYS THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i will make my response in a bit... i need to shower...)

[yuseirra]

More about 159~

hahaha XD aw, GOSH this comic is CRAZY, I think it would be fun if I read it as books and in volumes, it's because it's incomplete, and scattered eps that things feel so tense and awkward, I'm sure. It'd have more sense of flow as a volume.

I wrote a lot of things based on my stream of consciousness this morning (because well I draw hikaai and I DO care a lot about character portrayals and analysis) and I want to share it with you all! I reread it after the heat of the moment and I find it really funny,

If you want to feel assured about Ai and Hikaru (and perhaps ONK as a whole) or like the ship hikaai, I feel this is another post that could help you. Like I said in my ch 159 review, if this ain't it, I have no idea where this is going to head and I might as well take a break off from this piece for a bit and get some air. P3R episode Aigis is coming out on the 10th (great timing!) but I think I'm on the right track. I got so many things right since I picked this up thus far :D So for now, here we go again:

This is just my intuition and a piece mostly based on gut feelings.

Ha;; This morning, I saw someone extremely worried about Kamiki and Ai and couldn’t leave them feeling uneasy... I’m not in a position to calm others down, though!! I'm the one who needs to be calmed!! give me time to brace myself!!! I get tense because I care about where the story's gonna go too!!! I analyze characters and make fan works. I HAVE to look into the source material and make sense of things in order to do that o<-< I’m really stuck with this manga, aren’t I? What a ride... Okay I know the character looks a bit out of it. But listen, even if we criticize the character, we should wait for the next chapter before doing so. Come on, what would Kamiki even LIE about in the first place? Let’s sit down and think calmly. Let’s go over the facts.

Honestly, it would have been better for Kamiki if Ai wasn’t an idol. If Ai hadn’t been an idol, Ai wouldn't have had to die for deciding to keep her very kids with him!! Ai was murdered because she was an idol who had a boyfriend and kids(it's an absurd reason but to Ryosuke, that was his reason to go through with it). If she hadn’t loved Kamiki, she wouldn’t have died. This isn’t Kamiki’s fault, of course!! To add, if Ai weren’t an idol, they might not have broken up in the first place. Even if they had broken up, Ryosuke wouldn’t have tracked Ai down and killed her!! Things would have been so much better for this character if Ai hadn’t been an idol. His situation on the matter, It's totally the opposite of Nino and Ryosuke’s!

To Kamiki, Ai was certainly one-of-a-kind and irreplacable, yeah. But from Kamiki’s perspective, Ai was never a perfect, flawless figure that he found the need to idolize. She was someone who learned acting from him, who was clumsy and scattered, who needed his guidance in the beginning. She shared the same pain, opened up to him, understood him, accepted him, and loved him. Even though she gave him a deep wound and they parted ways, even when he thought she didn’t love him anymore, she remained precious to him to the point where he was willing to give his life for her. She was the person he wanted to marry. Ryosuke and Nino would kill her for not being perfect enough, but that’s not who Kamiki is. He’s actually the biggest victim of that incident only after AI herself. If Ai had survived, he might have been able to meet their children, reunite with Ai, clear up misunderstandings, and more importantly, Ai would still be alive. That alone would have made life more bearable for Kamiki than living in a world without her. I keep saying this but I'm sure he wouldn't have leaked the address to Ryosuke on purpose. I wrote many theories about this and I came to a conclusion that it must have been a mistake on his end, after getting drunk from sadness after Ai dumped him in the phone call. What kind of mastermind could he even be regarding this case? He was 19 at the time. It's total nonsense. There is no reason for him to try and attack Ai who tells him she has their children growing smart and healthy. He's lying about it to Aqua to make him feel better about avenging him because he believed that's what him and Ai's wanted.

What kind of grand conspiracy could a character like this possibly be behind? At least when it comes to Ai’s death, I don’t think he’s responsible. Even if he grew mad, I feel like that would have taken place after it happened. So what is it that this character wants? I’ve been curious about that too-

When I heard anime S2's opening, I immediately realized!! He wants to see Ai again! Would Aqua say something like,

Aqua has Ruby, Kana, and Akane. He’s not going to live just to get closer to Ai or live solely for her love. Maybe to fulfill Ai’s wishes, but that’s different.

“Without you, I cannot live anymore

I would sacrifice anything for you

I can’t get enough of your love

What should I use to fill in what’s missing?”

If Kamiki has any goal, it’s this: He's never been seen to have a desire for Ai to be the ultimate, perfect idol. He’s not twisted that way. If he’s twisted, it’s more like, “I’ll give anything for Ai.”

Think about it. If someone you love died, what would you want most? You’d want them to live again, right? You wouldn’t go around committing serial murders saying, “No one can surpass them!” You’d just want to see them again if there was even the smallest chance. That’s the most important thing. Nino and Ryosuke are twisted. They liked Ai as an idol, not as a person. But this person has two cute kids with Ai... even though they never got to see them properly. He says he has paternal love, and I believe that because there’s no reason for him to hate the kids. He was prepared to take responsibility, after all. Wouldn’t he be happy about having kids with Ai? Wouldn’t he find them adorable, especially since they look so much like him and the one he loves? Seeing how much he still cares for Ai, he’d probably love their kids too. He refers to them as "Yours(Ai's) and mine". He’d probably want to bring Ai back for the sake of the kids, if not for himself. He even believes Ai died because of him, so that would only add to his desperation and longing. When someone dies, they can’t come back, so that possibility doesn’t usually cross the mind-

However, It seems that the songs are saying there is some kind of hope for that becoming a reality even if the chances are very slim. To think Kamiki would have wanted to preserve Ai’s image as an idol and that's what's been driving him? No way. That’s exactly what killed Ai. He’d probably be sick of that... He just wants Ai to live. That’s his motive. He’s been hanging onto that.

As for the Hikaai ship, I had been holding off on judgment until Ai’s feelings came out. I felt like I won’t know until I hear from Ai herself how she feels about him so I waited out for quite long till the entirety of the movie arc, until it got its closure-

And it really occurs to me, people don’t seem to realize how much thought and conviction it takes for Ai to feel that strongly about a person.

Ai is scared, has a sensitive soul, overthinks things, is defensive, and gets wary. She’s afraid to love and get close to people because she doesn't want to get hurt.

But Ai couldn't give up Kamiki’s child because they were what she had with him, even while she was afraid it would be a burden to him!! Do you know how much certainty, affection, and love that takes? It doesn’t seem to resonate with people as much as it does for me, it's such a deep and strong feeling. That's what really got me. She was scared, but she still wanted them because they were theirs...and she protected their children with all her heart that point onward.

This kind of love is something that you might encounter just once in your lifetime, you might never get to meet someone like that at all.

So I thought, “Good for Ai. She found someone she loved that much.” Kamiki must have been a really precious person to Ai to make her feel that way.

In my opinion, for someone to make Ai feel like that, they would have to be the kind of person who would give out their every part of their organ, even their heart to her if that's necessary, and still think it’s not enough. And when you listen to the songs, the speaker does really seems to express that kind of emotion. That's why I thought 'Oh, this is definitely Ai's lover. This is Kamiki that's saying these things.'

You have to trust Ai’s judgment. Ai is serious about love, and she found someone to give it to. He's the one person she decided on. She wanted to live her life with him, worried about him until the end, named her children after jewels because they looked like the one she loved. Had her son who takes after his dad so much have the characters "love" and "longing" in his name. That’s how much she adored him.

What does that tell you? And when you look at the backstory, it seems Kamiki thought he loved Ai even more than she loved him.

Then that must mean he must have treated her really well. So, it’s not about whether Kamiki loved Ai or not anymore. That's totally just a given!! What’s important now is what he has done since Ai's death.

In chapter 155, he said he was "going to do what he could for Ai" and left. Then Aqua showed up near him in this chapter saying, “I need to save you.”

When you listen to the songs, the narrator keeps saying they don’t mind dying. This is a character who has already said they could die for Ai. So what will they do? I think they’re planning to die “for Ai.” But is offering something for Ai or dying for her really what Ai would want? No. Ai would want Kamiki to live and be happy, and they know that, but they’re lying to themselves. That’s the lie this character tells. It’s a self-sacrificing but self-satisfying kind of thing. That's why Aqua says the lies "are for his own sake". This also explains why Ai left a message asking to help Kamiki. This character is someone who could go to extremes "for Ai", but Ai didn’t want that, which is why Aqua is trying to stop it.

If this isn’t the case, then I won’t be able to make sense of this manga... Haha, the Persona 3 DLC will be out soon, so I’ll just go play that...

This feels right to me, though. If it’s not, I don’t know what else it could be;;

Maybe Kamiki's been possessed by an evil god? But even if that’s the case, the motive he has would probably still be about "saving Ai".

On another note, Kamiki was so gentle and kind in his tone when speaking to Aqua. He spoke really softly, didn’t he?

If he had been able to raise the kids with Ai, he would have been the type to pamper and spoil them... He'd have been a sweet dad. I feel like Ai really did choose a good guy to father her kids.

The way he speaks to Aqua feels quite similar to the last lines and atmosphere of the lyrics of Mephisto.. something about it will be brought up soon, I mean Aqua's wearing that same clothes.

To Kamiki, Aqua must be his and Ai’s cute son, right? But does he know Aqua’s soul is originally that of a 30-something-year-old doctor? If he’s possessed by an evil god, maybe he is aware of these things. But if he doesn’t, it might be a bit awkward. His son is almost the same age as him inside...

Aqua is Aqua, though? But that thought still made me laugh a little. I could imagine Kamiki suddenly speaking very formally towards Aqua upon figuring out he's actually the doc who aided Ai with delivering his children safely. Kamiki seems like the type to speak with a lot of courtesy... the way he speaks has been very polite. It depends on the character, but I think that is part of how he is originally.

[lover-of-skellies]

Don’t know if you’re still doing this but has anyone asked about inks smoochability?

It's been a year since I've done anything with the smoochability ratings, but hey. There were a few skeletons I hadn't done this for, and Ink was one of them, so I figured I might as well :P

All my logic is under the cut if you wanna look at it, but at the end of the day, Ink gets a smoochability rating of 9. He's one of the safer options, surprisingly enough, so if you'd like to smooch him, go right on ahead. Just be prepared; he could end up accidentally nipping or throwing up ink on you if you get him too excited

1) Is Ink's mouth dangerous at all? I don't believe it would be. His teeth are flat and standard, though I've seen some depictions of him that had little fangs, too. There are no parasites in there, no mysterious diseases/viruses you could catch, and a kiss wouldn't kill you; in fact, the worst thing that could happen would be Ink getting too excited and throwing up ink in your mouth and on you in general. While that's incredibly gross to think about, that's more of a health hazard than a danger factor, since if you kiss him, you'll at least leave without having any blood drawn. So, 2 points for safety

2) Would he bite? Not intentionally. While he IS like adhd incarnate and while he DOES do things that are a bit impulsive (see: everything involving taunting Error), I would assume he knows that biting people is bad. There is a chance that he might bite accidentally if startled, but for the most part, no, I don't see him being a biter. 2 points for not munching on anyone's lips

3) Are there any health hazards to the smoocher? Uhhhh yeah. It's the fact that if he gets too excited, he vomits ink. That in and of itself is gross, but not overly harmful. Then again though, there are different types of ink that exist, and we don't know what specific type he vomits. The impact that accidentally swallowing it might have on a human person could vary, depending on what exactly the type is. Worst case scenario, it's toxic and you need your stomach pumped asap to get it out, and best case scenario, it's yuckydisgusting and only makes you slightly sick for a short amount of time. The hazard level is up for debate here, but I'll still give him at least 1 point since death is not a guaranteed outcome

4) Does he have a sympathetic backstory? Sort of?? I know he was from an incomplete AU and was sorta. Left alone in the vast nothingness, until creators' feelings started raining down on him and he started experimenting with them. It'd really suck to be the only vaguely self aware person from your home, and then be alone eventually, surrounded by nothingness, so that does give me at least a little sympathy. So,, 1 point. It's very unfortunate, but it's not sad enough that I feel like crying over it

5) Does he deserve a smooch? Ehhhh, this one is up for debate. Personally, I'd say no, since from what I know and remember of his canon story, he never really did anything that would make him deserving of a smooch. 1 point, since maybe under the right circumstances he'd be deserving, but as is, I'm not really feeling it

6) Is Ink cute or cool? In a way, yeah, he could be considered cute and cool. He's cute in the "small guy with 0 thoughts behind those eyes" sense, and then he's cool design-wise. His first design was interesting and unique, but it had a lot going on, and then his updated design has less going on visually, but it's still pretty interesting and unique. If I was shown a silhouette of him, I'd be able to identify who he was, so. 2 points

When we add up all of our points and take everything into consideration, Ink is a 9 out of 12 :P he's a safer option, but even then, he could still unintentionally give you a nasty surprise. This is the part where I'd add in a scenario to kinda lay out how it'd go, but like. It's hot here. I'm feeling lazy, and thinking is Hard right now. I have a first kiss master list in my pinned post, which could be something to consider checking out if you're curious at all!

[thelazyhermits]

I have something I wanna share and get my readers' opinions on, which I'll put underneath the cut since I unsurprisingly wrote a lot as per usual lol

I now have an incredibly strong urge to make soulmates a thing in Twisted Wonderland since I am such a sucker for that trope.

However, rather than romantic soulmates, I just love the idea of platonic soulmates: people whom you can trust more than anyone - who will always make you feel safe and accepted - who understand you as well as they understand themselves.

It's a love that's different from the love shared between lovers, friends, and family because of that deep soul connection that can't even be properly described using words.

For these soulmates, it feels as if they possess a part of each other's souls within their own. That's why they always feel so at peace when they're together, because during that time their souls feel complete.

That said, it's not as if you feel incomplete without your soulmate. It's more like, when you meet them, you finally realize that something has been missing all along, if that makes sense.

So people can live happy, fulfilling lives without having met their soulmates, which is normally how things go in TW cause it's extremely rare for people to actually meet their soulmates.

That's why soulmates are basically considered nothing more than myths by the time Yuu arrives in TW.

Another reason soulmates are rare is because soulmates are normally only a thing for fae, beastmen, and merfolk, so the only time regular humans have a soulmate is when their soulmate happens to be a fae/beastman/merfolk.

As a result, there aren't too many people who believe in the existence of soulmates; pretty much only the old fashioned types, who faithfully pass down the stories of yore that mention soulmates, do.

Anyway, I just love the idea of Yuu having a soulmate, and it just takes a while for this truth to come to light cause people in TW don't typically automatically just know when they've met their soulmate.

That's another reason why soulmates aren't really considered a thing cause most people don't know how to identify them.

When they feel that special draw to their soulmate, they typically just write it off as attraction and won't give it more of a second thought if they happen to cross paths with that person cause that iniital draw won't normally be powerful enough in that first meeting to make them wanna approach their soulmate. That special draw grows stronger the longer you spend time with your soulmate.

Another reason it takes a while for Yuu to discover she has a soulmate is due to her being born in another world since I think that would have an effect on the soul bond, but thankfully, not a a permanent one. It would just take a while for that soul bond to be at the strength it would normally be if Yuu grew up in TW.

I also love the idea of fae/beastmen/merfolk in the past each having their own ways to recognizing their soulmates. For example, you can tell if someone is your soulmate if your soul has a visceral reaction to you hearing them sing for the first time.

That would explain why it'd take so long for Yuu's soulmate to recognize the soul bond between them since Yuu has never sung around her fae/beastmen/merfolk friends.

Anyway, I just really love the idea of concept of soulmates, and I'd love to include that in the "A Twisted Future" series by giving Yuu a soulmate since I can think of one character in particular whom I think would fit perfectly into that kinda category based on how I've written him thus far.

However, I'm slightly reluctant to do it since people might think it feels forced or doesn't really mesh well with what I've written so far/with the TWST world/story as a whole, so I just wanted to see what my readers thought of this idea.

Whether it's via asks or replies to this post, please let me know what y'all think! I'd really appreciate your feedback! ^^

[warthogreporter]

Contemplating making a wikipedia account to expand and refine the Tezcatlipoca article and others. But it'd be a lot of work even without factoring in learning the ropes of wikipedia, and the article is more incomplete/not detailed than bad.

On the other hand, wikipedia is what most people base their mythological opinions on. If I really want to end the trend of making Tezcatlipoca the evil archenemy of Quetzalcoatl the best way is probably getting more than a few vague sentences on wikipedia about how Tezcatlipoca and Quetzalcoatl weren't just enemies, and maybe a section on Tezcatlipoca's relationship with Jesus and other Christian figures.

Wikipedia is supposed to be more of a general overview I feel, so maybe some of the stuff I'm considering might be excessive, but plenty of people do use it as their one stop shop for information. And there is stuff it'd definitely make sense to add like One Death.

Already have other Tezcatlipoca writing to do, and wikis are always changing, so for now I'm focused on my own writing on my own publication. But maybe at some point I can take this up.

[rarepairronpa]

I wonder how the Remnants would react to Ryouko. Would they even recognise that it's Junko from her appearance alone? It's been so long since I've read Zero and I could scarcely remember that Naegi, upon meeting Ryouko, thought she looked familiar. Since I ship Junko x Sonia (and therefore Ryouko x Sonia hehe) I'd like to hear your thoughts on this particular pair

Makoto didn't just think Ryouko looked familiar, he outright recognized her! So did Kyouko! The only person who didn't recognize her was Yuto Kamishiro, who never met her before and only knew her from magazines. Everyone in the novel who knew Junko personally actually recognized her.

That's why Makoto is sitting there feeling VERY uncomfortable when Ryouko doesn't recognize Mukuro and being VERY confused when Mukuro doesn't tell Ryouko she's her sister. I think Makoto says outright that he knows her, with Kyouko you have to read in-between the lines a bit.

Therefore... yeah, the Remnants could DEFINITELY recognize Ryouko as Junko! How this relates to Sonia, hmm.

I think she'd be ecstatic, actually, to see a more genuine version of Junko. I think she can kind of recognize that Junko felt the need to act and play personas a lot of times, that her perception of her was kind of just what Junko wanted it to be. There was always this idea that Junko wasn't as human as the rest of them. That she was above it all. As if she wasn't even a real person, but an idea. And I think a lot of the Remnants were happy with it being like this! But. Sonia, who hates being an idea, would always hate that she's doing the same thing to Junko that others have done to her. That she "fell in love with an idea."

So... to have Ryouko, whos a lot more open and genuine? She'd be so ecstatic to finally be able to get to know the girl she loves.

Except. Ryouko isn't some "true" version of Junko; she's much more honest, yeah, but she's not the same as Junko would be if she was just "more honest". She's very specifically a version of Junko without her memories. That changes how she views and looks at the world. How she interactions with it, how she thinks of it. She's not some essential truth of Junko, but she does say some truths about her. Ryouko and Junko are the same person, sure, but they're the same person in massively different circumstances and contexts- memories, just as Mikan says, are a very important component to who you are as a person. Ryouko is Junko, Junko is Ryouko, but they're also different from each other in distinct ways.

Sonia is still loving a incomplete version of Junko.

In a way, you can't separate Junko completely from her lies. They're apart of her; apart of the person Ryouko grew up to be. A more genuine version of Junko? That wouldn't be Junko in the first place. It's the paradox of being a liar. It's the pardox of truth itself. Ryouko is a version of Junko, but she's not her Junko. I wonder what she'd do when she fully reckoned with that... She will never know Junko in her entirety. She will always only love pieces of her. But, that's not so bad, right? Those pieces, after all, were willingly given.

She may fall in love with Ryouko, but it'd be in a different way than how she loved Junko. Because Ryouko will be different from Junko. If Ryouko ever recovered her memories, I could see Sonia genuinely mourning her as if she died. Because in a way, that version of Junko did.

[circle-bircle]

purging a bunch of stuff from my drive... gosh there are still a lot of things i want to write but it's hard to tell what's there when some of my file names are "gh384t90g8h" or "2" as i look through the drive i will put in this readmore any cool ideas i come across (mostly ff some fe and gbf and will sort them by fandom if ur into it)

please know i am deleting all of these drafts as i go along so if you want me to post snippets of what i have tell me in like 3 days before they are permanently deleted

fic titled "virgin in the dynamo" where i make vigorous reference to henry adams in my ff2 emperor redemption fic... well ok then!

doc called "BACK ON MY BULLSHIT" is an isekai for ff2. i've written a few of those but i haven't liked how any of them have turned out. idea for another day

more emperor fics; i have some where y/n gets fired as a servant, some reverse isekai drafts, and i have about a good long chunk of drafting for another vampire au where (spoiler alert) the emperor is not a nice guy and murders a bunch of people in the first chapter. the drafts are still there but i just don't know where to take the fic in the last stretch.

another emperor fic but this time it's an arranged marriage au (y/n is a noble of altair and i take the book canon and shake it vigorously)

edward chris von muir reverse isekai - i remember writing this. some really bad irl stuff happened and edward was the character i wrote a fuckton of to cheer me up. i'd still like to write it properly. in another fic i wrote an arranged marriage au and i still think i could write it and it'd be fun

doc titled "k"; rewrite of an old fic with zidane & kuja with the in veno veritas vibes... i'd like to post it but it's not done so it won't get posted

i write a 210 fic in firion's pov where tidus gets lost and firion comes to help him. hehe!

more tidus ideas; one of them was where y/n was a nurse taking care of tidus, another idea that i still might write where y/n is a total stalker of tidus and makes him love them... i still want to write that.

seymour fic with another isekai... circle be creative sometimes smh!

some gorefic of ravus nox fleuret... i really don't talk about ffxv but ravus is one of my favs i think he's so cool

"2" is a fe15 gray high school au. it's goofy i guess

more kurth ideas; i wrote a dreamsharing fic with him as well as a timeloop? i could have SWORN i published the timeloop fic but i don't think i did. i got 4k words into the draft. whatever, down the trash it goes!

doc titled "UNKIE JANNIE" where janaff takes care of a wounded shinon...

i've written a janaff/reader and a janaff/reader/ulki but not an ulki/reader. none of the ideas i have have been any good though and i still feel like they're not cute enough.

"the ranch fic" where shinon fucks a bottle of ranch. nsfw but an ex-friend did it out of curiosity and then he told me not to tell anyone but then he aired my dirty laundry so i air his dirty laundry back.

more in lewd news for shinon/janaff i tried to write a motivation chapter 2 but i never could decide on what shinon was going to do. i had a couple ideas, like shinon and janaff meeting up and fucking or continuing their parasocial relationship. in my latest drafts of it shinon was going to doxx janaff and say the most egregious sort of stuff before going back to his NEET ways (now without a purpose because janaff would be disinterested) but i couldn't make it as sexy as the first chapter so i just didn't finish it

nordion vampireverse multichap fic titled "diarmuid chomps" where it's not actually about diarmuid at all and febail gets really sexy and saves y/n from the evil vampires... i wrote that fic twice but neither are any good. idea for another time

speaking about nordion vamps, doc titled "sex sex sex sex sex sex" where the vamps get down and dirty with y/n. OTL i want to post it but it's incompleted as FUCK so it won't see the light of day ever

kempf mermaid au i would have posted for mermay if i knew how to write it. but every draft i did just wasn't right and i think fe is too technologically historic(?) for what i want to happen so i might write it with some other fandom instead

found my resume! been lookin 4 that

a kyd wykkyd fic... i had a moment

did i ever post a grimnir fic about hanahaki? i've written it a couple times but i don't think i liked any one of the drafts i wrote. an idea for another day!

there's also a lobelia fic where the captain goes to try and find him a hobby that isn't death related. music didn't work and at the end of the draft djeeta is trying word searches and crossword puzzles. i guess miscellaneous stuff, i wrote more lobelia fluff that wasn't published soo

i feel like i kept up deleting stuff so there is not much else. but that's all!!!!

[springcatalyst]

*FACE AGAINST THE GLASS OF YOUR SCREEN* Bound, break, hate, midnight for Julian?????????????? 👁👁💕💘💗💘💗Please💗💕💞💞💘💞💗💞

YESSSS THANK YOU BESTIE!! I HATE HIM (I LVOE HIM)

Bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

Ok not conclusively... but maybe? The only reason anyone has to fuck with Julian is to get at Liliana, because sorry he's just not that important. You have to want something to capture someone, anything else and why not just beat him or kill him, ya feel? But I think it'd be fun for me personally.

Break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

It would take something... something that he wouldn't expect to matter. Losing himself, or losing one of the few people he genuinely cares for, would destabilize an already unstable foundation. Real fear, too, gets at him. He's not afraid of pain and he's not afraid of death, which means he usually looks fearless or foolish or both, but it also means he doesn't really know what to do with genuine fear. He thinks he's invincible, thinks that he's mastered the art of remaining unaffected, but that's not even a LITTLE BIT true. Unfortunately for everyone around him, 'breaking down' now looks like getting really, really defensive. An already short fuse gets shorter and shorter the more unraveled and/or upset he becomes, which makes it impossible to deescalate. He lashes out at anyone in the vicinity, but if given the chance, he will retreat away, alone. Alone is his natural state, and the one he's most comfortable with, and it means unobserved, which is integral to the kind of breakdown he's privy to.

Arguably the only person that's ever seen him like this, though, is Diana, just because they grew up together. She was there before he was quite so defensive, before he protected his pride with his life. Still rare, though, because he always ran away.

Hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

God. He hates people that wound his pride, he hates people that condescend and patronize and it doesn't even have to be directed at him this time, he hates people who act like they follow different rules than everyone else which is HILARIOUS because HE does that!! He's such a fucking hypocrite and you know what? He also hates hypocrites. He hates cruelty without purpose which, also funny, because he is far from a nice person, but there's a certain line to cross. And depending on the severity of who he's dealing with, he ranges from a little harsher than usual to a straight up knife fight. There are many a man with whom he does not get along, but is in a situation where he can't just say fuck em and leave, so he's just really blunt and snippy and short when necessary interactions do happen. Like, you can tell he doesn't like you, but what are you gonna do about it? He's begging for them to start a fight.

Midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Ah, well. He's kinda haunted but in a way that he doesn't even really know by what. It's more a feeling, he's not self-aware enough to connect the dots. He's restless, like there's something left incomplete. He constantly feels like he needs to get away from everything, it's part of the reason he never stays in one place, or even on one ship, for very long. Being around one group of people for too long feels like they're gonna start noticing things, patterns, pieces of something he'd rather stay secret. And then in those wanderings he finds himself amidst crews of people who are actually dangerous, actually cruel, and what was once just an itchy instability of character becomes caution and uncertainty and an odd sort of alienation. It reinforces the idea that he is safest when he is alone, and nighttime is a period where he is guaranteed that.

[crimsonfluidessence]

Prompt 25: Call it a Day

Everything had grown quieter at the camp since the war ended. There were no attacks to plan- there hadn't been for months now- and it lessened the stress on survival to at least a mild degree. With the news reaching the network the war was over, some people disappeared overnight, others asked to leave, and a fair amount of suppliers and spies stopped showing up to assigned meetings. It was over, wasn't it? And with that, what reason did they have to stay?

It couldn't possibly be that they had something more than a task, or a role, or even a purpose. They had accomplished their objective, and they wanted out of his cold hell. Esredes was torn between being upset and being understanding, himself. Could he really blame them?

Days blurred together in that period. Esredes got up, hunted, skinned, talked to people, checked up on other branches, went in meetings with his fellow leaders, and then went to bed. Though the movement kept listening, everything remained the same. The war was over, for them at least. There was a treaty, they couldn't attack on the offensive again, but neither, in theory, could the enemy.

The days grew monotonous, in truth. Everything just felt so quiet, and repetitive. The spies who remained reported all sorts of political changes to Esredes, as they had been for months, and it all sounded like something for Esredes to sink his teeth into. But he couldn't. He'd be arrested and executed if he stepped foot too close. That was, until everything changed, anyhow, and all of a sudden he was allowed to walk inside the gates again.

Each time he made the daytrip back to Ishgard, it was overwhelming. So many people, sights, sounds, and did anyone recognize him? The question was in his mind constantly, even though he didn't see a single poster. But in truth, when he dug deep down, being overwhelming was far more exciting. A part of him wanted to come back each time he left and spent another several days in camp.

More and more people began leaving, returning to families or deciding to start a new life, take their chances. Esredes found himself looking in the direction of Ishgard more often. The spies were overworking themselves, delivering information and returning with orders to pull the strings, manipulate the political game for the safety of the rest of them. And all he could do was... listen, keep up, and give his orders. And nothing more.

It made him feel so helpless. The more the days went on, the more he couldn't deny he was restless. It wasn't enough, anymore, hiding out here because he was afraid of the new battlefield. Without enough things to do, Esredes felt incomplete. And so once more, he looked in the direction of Ishgard, and arranged for another trip later in the week.

It'd been slowly getting less overwhelming with each visit. He'd begun to ask around, learn, take note of things, and it filled him with a new sense of invigoration. Yes. He could keep fighting, keep contributing, he didn't have to stop, and be alone with the dull wilderness. And the more he tried, the more he got sucked into it.

Some people started new lives. Some went home. Some washed their hands of the entire affair. But he was a Disciple of Shiva, and deep in his bones, he refused. He would not stand idly by and simply survive and give orders. He was a soldier, and a soldier fought. What good was he if he resigned himself to a more peaceful existence, and simply stopped? It was another week before he was able to announce it to everyone: He was leaving. He was moving back. He'd become a sentry, and operate from within Ishgard, despite the dangers and risks. The loyalists, the deniers- they wouldn't win. Not on his watch, if he could be actively there to do something about it.

And so while others washed themselves in the river of life and moved on to something new, Esredes merely crossed the river and kept going. This came as a surprise to no one. Esredes almost never truly gave up on anything, after all.

[dragonofthestone]

cryptidsncurios asked:

SFW Ask Meme - O W L

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Depends something he'd have no problem talking about or answering if asked from the get go, but for the most part he tends to keep everything quite close and is very careful and particular what he reveals and to who.

Trust is a big thing and takes time to earn, and especially in his case where if the wrong person were to find out certain things about him it could/would be very dangerous. For himself or for anyone actually close with him.

Smaller details like his love of music or interest in the stars are easily learned and through getting to know him he might slowly reveal more to it- such as his guitar playing or star charts (which he doesn't show a lot of people)

lab!life makes him even more cautious and slow to reveal things- which is mostly just details on the lab tbh. And truth be told they're still learning things about themselves constantly.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their partner?)

For sure.

To even get that far to begin with, that person would have to be someone incredibly special and important for such a strong bond to form. Their partner/signifcant other is someone who can bring out or see sides of himself he may not have noticed or known before, and someone he can truly be himself around, let walls down.

Now important to note that Timaeus would never describe themselves or say they feel or felt incomplete before their Partner but it does bring about a new feeling having someone like that in their life, and should anything happen to change that it would likely break him to have that taken away

As even amongst his closest of friends their is always things that are hard to share or avoided, parts of himself that would be seen only by his Partner/ Significant other.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

SO good. Although he'd deny it, try to be humble and argue he's not that good/ think he'd be a good parent.

But he's just so good with kids, loves them. Growing up he frequently got asked to babysit for friends and neighbors, along with helping out with his little bro has made very good at dealing with kids.

While most of the time a big softy, and kinda weak for them- if someone could convince him to do something it'd probably be a kid, it's hard to say no sometimes. But he's not a total push over, he does also know when to put a foot down, there's a time and place for everything.

Generally over all is pretty good at adjusting to whatever is needed and fits the kids age as well.

Still makes mistakes now and then of course but over, great with kids. Someone you can trust with em for sure.

--

Lablife! Has no idea what to do or for that matter doesn't fully know what a 'kid' is. Meeting Ai and Yu all he saw were just smaller people and I'm not sure actually realizes/ is aware they are kids - just another thing someone needs to explain to this guy.

If it was a real young kid would be curious at first until they got loud then would probably avoid - least till they stopped being loud lol.

Now if it's animal kids/ baby animals we're talking about he's great, for a lab experiment he's a got a surprising paternal instinct that will kick and just wants to protecc, to an extent it probably extend to non animals as well- like if sees someone in danger would want to protecc you know.

[dianight]

Problem is that my artistic ability could never catch up to what's on my mind. It isn't like I don't like it but not being able to be as skilled as I would like to be is definitely a big factor in why I don't draw that much, as opposed to writing. Even trying to describe something will always be incomplete no matter how much I try to because language is a poor substitute for experiences.

I was thinking about how many girls describe their past selves as someone else, at times more literal than others, and I believe I can almost grasp it now. You could consider who I was X years ago a completely different person and the thing is it'd be correct in almost every way but a few.

To paint a metaphor here: if I look back I see the trail I've walked and the shape that I left while walking, the hollowness that surrounds where I stood. But I can't remember, I can't see who or how I was without that outline. There's memories from a few years back that come to me at the most random times, something trivial triggers them and then I'm left wondering how was I ever like that. It doesn't feel like I'm that different now but that's the thing. It is someone else. But me(?).

And to keep the flowery style here, I've never seen the real me, how I see myself, reflected on anyone's eyes. What they see is someone else that's not me and no amount of explaining will dispel that misunderstanding, if it is a misunderstanding at all. It's why I don't like talking about myself or my interests or what I do because the times I do (did) I can see how it just does not reach anyone. People see their own version of the person that I might have been a long time ago.

Whatever.