#it's a great ship and i'm EATING THESE FICS WHOLE

[serve-cunt]

obsessed with the fact that gran turismo (2023) gave us age appropriate enemies to lovers (jann/matty) and friends to lovers (jann/audrey) PLUS old friends to lovers (jack/danny) ...... and everyone currently active on GT ao3 watched it and said . no. ✨daddy complex✨ LOL

[andromeda3116]

idk man i kinda feel like if you think reading my fic was a waste of your time, maybe you could save yourself some of that time by just hitting the back button instead of writing a comment to complain about it?

[haystarlight]

What if mlp characters had Tumblr

🌟 smartypants Follow

I have a princess conference in the morning but that won't stop me from staying up till 3 am on AO3. Mama needs her bedtime stories

🐉 ogres&oubliettesenthusiast Follow

OP go to sleep or I will eat your crown

2,008 notes

🎈 smilesmilesmile Follow

All of you are like "would you fuck your clone?" hypothetically but, in practice, clones are too dumb to give consent and that's the real reason why I didn't sleep with any of my clones when I had the chance

🎈 totally-not-a-clone Follow

OP you still have a chance

10,000 notes

✨ great&powerful Follow

It's always "take off the evil amulet! it's corrupting your mind!" and never "oh! you look so pretty in your new amulet!"

✨ great&powerful Follow

Celestia forbid ladies do anything

102 notes

😏 sexiestvillaintournament Follow

🦋 Id-like-to-be-a-tree Follow

Um, would you guys please stop voting for my boyfriend?

🌪️ whatfunisthereinmakingsense Follow

I take it as a compliment

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

I am offended

500,467 notes

🍎 cmc-omc Follow

Y'all know how some families got a gay cousin and all 'em other cousins are straight? Well mah family's the opposite. Ah don't even think we got a straight cousin!

🍎 cmc-omc Follow

Mah sister says we have to assimilate other ponies into our family so the family name don't die out. She would do numbers here

5,667 notes

🌈 20%cooler Follow

GUYS I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAYS

I've just been on the hospital (again) cause I got zapped by lightning (again)

But I promise I'll update my Daring Do/Reader fic as soon as I can! Thanks for the patience, love you guys!

🌟 smartypants Follow

It's okay, take your time! I'll just reread the old chapters in the meantime

🐉 ogre&oubliettesenthusiast Follow

NO!!! YOU WILL GO TO SLEEP!!!

120 notes

💎 chicunique&maginifique Follow

"how are you so good at fashion" well you'd be an expert in fashion too if you'd spent 20 years in the closet

🔔 professional-theatre-filly Follow

My sister in Celestia that closet was made of glass

20,354 notes

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

Nothing like coming back from exhile just to find your bedroom was replaced by a whole ass forest

Some people have no respect for others belongings

☀️ cake.by.the.ocean Follow

I don't control the growing of the magical forest, bitch

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

Rude

☀️ cake.by.the.ocean Follow

Don't think I forgot about that time in 500 B.E. that you stole my ice cream

200 notes

🛴 the-agender-acrobat Follow

You can't hurt me I have mommy AND daddy issues I'm unstoppable

🌈 20%cooler Follow

OP do you need me to adopt you

🛴 the-agender-acrobat Follow

I would love that actually

1,554 notes

💎 chicunique&magnifique Follow

*levitates my cat out of the way so I can use the sewing machine, which I need for my job*

my cat: YOU LIFT OPALESCENCE?!?!???! YOU LIFT HER WITH YOUR WICKED SORCERY?!??!!!! YOU ASSERT CONTROL OVER HER WITH YOUR MAGIC?!?!??! OHHHHH!!! MOTHER IS EVIL!!!!!

🔔 professional-theatre-filly Follow

I agree with the cat

1,827,654 notes

🥕 Carrot-TOPING Follow

Girlfriend is out of town all week so I'm gonna dye my mane and tail green

💎 chicunique&magnifique Follow

WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING

🥕 Carrot-TOPING Follow

She's all my self control

364, 245 notes

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

Back in my day we tagged our fanfiction properly. There's a difference between / and & you rufians

☀️ cake.by.the.ocean Follow

Shut up old lady

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME

30,150 notes

🩵 girlboss Follow

Sure, sex is great but does *your* husband help you check all your shipping fanfiction for grammar errors? Didn't think so

💎 chicunique&magnifique Follow

She's everything, he's just Ken

🛡️ malewife Follow

Happy to be of service 🫡

2,035 notes

[ih34rt-lanceystrxlly]

Hi! Can I request a Carlos Sainz x Reader?

The reader is a fashion blogger and one day got asked to do a photoshoot for Mercedes with Lewis Hamilton, it turned out great because even the fans are starting to ship them online and all over social medias. Carlos gets adorably jealous of seeing her in other team’s color and the fans reaction didn’t help either.

Thanks!

It's not nothing

table of contents/pairing: carlos sainz x reader

summary: check request !!

warnings: some cursing, mentions of alcohol, suggestive content but no actual smut.

message from A☆: Has this been sitting in my drafts for weeks ? Yes. Did I fully scrap the original fic ? Yes. But here it is !! I felt this kind of trope was especially fitting after Carlos' win in Australia, so I tied that in. ALSO, WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK. Again, sorry for taking so long to get this request done, but I hope you enjoy...

It was just her job. That's what Carlos kept telling himself as he looked at the pictures. Y/N, one of his closest friends and a very popular fashion girly, had done a photo shoot with Lewis Hamilton, his replacement. Now sure, Carlos hadn't left Ferrari just yet, hell the season had barely even started, but it was just a sad coincidence. The longer he stared at the photos the more jealous he became, he felt stupid for it. But she looked gorgeous in silver and green, even though she'd look better in red, and the way they had Lewis pose with his hands around her waist made him want to claw his eyes out. And to make matters worse, fans all over the internet kept making little comments about the idea of her and Lewis being together. He needed to keep reminding himself, they were just friends. Just friends. But friends didn't think of each other the way Carlos thought of Y/N. Friends didn't crave each other the way Carlos craved Y/N. But it was whatever, it was nothing, he had remind himself.

It. Was. Nothing.

---

Ok, so maybe it's not nothing. He was trying to celebrate his win in Australia, enjoy himself with his team and his friends, but he couldn't keep his eyes off her. Mercedes had invited Y/N to the Grand Prix, so she'd been in the paddock the whole weekend. It was easy to distract himself from her when he was wrapped up in his work, but now watching her from afar as she swayed her hips on the dance floor, it was too much. Her dress sparkled beneath the lights, her hair swished around in tandem with her body, she looked perfect. It was eating him alive, he needed to do something. He needed her.

"Carlos!" She screamed excitedly over the music, looking up at him with an almost drunken gaze. It wouldn't be shocking if she was drunk, they were out partying, and as much as Carlos didn't want to admit it he was a little tipsy too.

"Hey..." He said as he took her waist in his hands. She didn't stop dancing, letting him press her body into hers as they swayed to the music, what's the worst that could happen? They were best friends. Friends dance together. It was nothing. But then dancing turned into teasing touches, and then kisses, and then running off together to Carlos' room. So yeah, it definitely wasn't going to be nothing the next day.

---

He was the first to wake up of the two. The sight of her tangled in his bedsheets and arms made his heart want to sink. What if he'd ruined it with a drunken mistake? He grounded himself with a deep breath, hoping she wouldn't freak out once she awoke.

About 20 minutes later, Y/N began to wake up. She looked around confused for a moment, until her eyes met a very familiar pair of brown ones. Oh shit, she thought to herself, I've fucked everything up. She went to try and speak or stand up, but she felt Carlos' hand on hers, stopping her.

"Look Y/N, I know this is..."

"Carlos, I'm so sorry, I'll leave ri-"

"Cariño, relájate (darling, relax)...look, I don't know if i can keep lying to myself and you. I like you, a lot. And it just seems so stupid to me because you're on of my best friends in the whole world, friends shouldn't want each other the way I want you. It felt like it just blew up in my face after you did that photoshoot for Mercedes with Lewis, and all the stuff that's been happening. It just made me feel so...like I needed to have you all to myself. But at the same time I don't want to ruin what we have, so if you don't feel the same just forget this ever happened..." He kept going on his rant, and she just stared at him a little bewildered yet flattered.

"Carlos...who said I don't like you like that?" She giggled, taking his hand in hers once again. He looked into her eyes with a wide-eyed and relieved look, smiling brightly as he took her face into his hands and gently kissed her. He pulled back seconds later.

"I'm going to fast, aren't I?" He said with a bashful look to him.

"I mean...we're already here, so might as well" She smiled up at him with the warmest smile and the most loving eyes. If anyone happened to see the pair they'd think they were soulmates, which they very possibly were. And so in that moment, Carlos thought to himself, maybe it's not nothing anymore.

[demonpiratehuntress]

birthday girl

Kaku x F!Reader

summary - Kaku always frees up his day on your birthday, because he loves to spoil you and treat you

warnings - none, but in this fic Kaku and the others are just shipwrights at Galley-La and Khalifa is just Iceberg's secretary.

a/n - my birthday is tomorrow so this is purely self-indulgent, i'm sorry <3

Kaku was a workaholic. He enjoyed what he did, so it wasn't often that he took off work for a day. But today was different, because for him today was special.

It was your birthday.

You woke up to a smell that was heaven on earth, and immediately your stomach grumbled. You blushed in embarrassment, even though there was no one in the room to be embarrassed in front of, and quickly got out of bed because you knew that smell could only mean one thing.

Kaku was home.

"Hi, handsome," you greeted with a warm smile as you wrapped your arms around his bare torso. "I see you dressed to impress."

He laughed, clad in only a pair of sweatpants, no shirt, "I know how much you love it when I cook like this, my love. Besides, this was the first surprise of the day for my sweet birthday girl."

"You took off work to stay home with me?" You smiled even more. Kaku was incredibly sweet. You kissed his cheek as he hummed.

"Mhm, but Paulie and Lucci want us to swing by Dock 1 later on so they can wish you," he turned to give you one of his sweet, gentle smiles before pecking your lips.

"That's sweet of them. But you don't plan on staying home all day, do you?" You laughed, guessing he must have planned everything out already.

"Nope," he grinned at you, before turning the stove off. "I have lots of special things planned for my special girlfriend."

You smiled even more as the two of you sat down to eat, blushing as always when you saw that he had made your favourite. You kissed him deeply before he could start eating, showing your appreciation for this gesture and for him because words were failing you.

"I love you," you pulled back and murmured breathlessly.

"I love you too," he didn't hesitate, his eyes bright as they settled on you.

Kaku did indeed have several things planned for you both to do. He knew you liked long, romantic rides on the yagaras around Water 7, so he had found the longest, most scenic route and taken you along it. Then he took you to several shops and purchased anything you so much as looked at, because he wanted to spoil you today. You ended up with an entire new outfit, complete with shoes and accessories.

"You didn't have to buy so much," you giggled as you came out of the last store. "I would have been happy with just the skirt."

"I know," he smiled innocently, "I wanted to get you all of this."

He didn't let you protest, because he swept you away to Dock 1 so that the others could bombard you with wishes and greetings and in Paulie's case, a bone-crushing hug. Kaku had to peel him off you, and you laughed as you said Khalifa's signature phrase, "Sexual harassment," and watched the colour drain from his face.

Then Kaku took you somewhere nice to eat, and the whole time just gazed at you lovingly as you thanked him for such a great day and described how much you love him.

"You're so beautiful," Kaku interrupted your little speech, his eyes twinkling with admiration, awe and love. "You're so beautiful."

Your cheeks burned, "You say that all the time."

"Because it's true."

He took your hands in his and kissed them, not taking his eyes off you, "You're the most beautiful, incredible woman on this planet and I feel very fortunate to be your boyfriend. I just hope one day you'll let me be your husband." He handed you small, handcrafted wooden ship.

Your eyes widened at his words, before settling on the ship, "What's this?"

"Another gift," he smiled, that silly little smile you loved so much.

"Kaku, you already-"

"Stop protesting," he chuckled, "Just open it."

"How?"

"That's for you to find out, my love."

You studied the ship, looking for a hidden compartment. If the cute little ship wasn't the gift, then what was? You found out soon enough, when your thumb brushed against a spot that seemed a bit loose. When you pressed it, a small drawer opened and revealed a beautiful silver ring with intricate carvings of your favourite flower.

"Kaku-" You felt like the air had been knocked out of your lungs.

"It's not a proposal yet," he blushed, "Because I know you're not ready, so it's a promise ring. As soon as you're ready, I'm going to marry you."

You teared up, "It's so beautiful."

It was such a thoughtful thing to give and his words were even sweeter, making your heartbeat speed up. You were at a loss for words, this was the most amazing gift you had ever gotten, and him saying he planned to marry you when you were ready made you fall in love with him all over again.

"Then you're perfectly matched," he slid the promise ring onto your finger, then brought your hand up to his mouth so he could kiss it.

That evening as you lay in bed, you couldn't help but wonder how you'd gotten so lucky. Then Kaku walked in to join you, but he was holding a small cake with a single candle on it, and you laughed.

"Well, isn't that cute?"

He smirked, "Can't have a birthday without cake."

He settled on the bed next to you, smiling gently as you sat up to face him. He held the cake up gingerly between you two, so he could sing to you softly and you could blow them out afterwards, after making a wish. It was the most intimate, romantic moment of your birthday so far, and you smiled at him lovingly.

"Thank you so much for today, love," you spoke between eating the cut cake. "It meant so much to me, you have no idea."

He just smiled and looked up at you with an icing-covered nose, and you giggled as you wiped it off and watched him eat messily, adoring your goofball boyfriend. He was the cutest when he ate, and in that moment you silently thanked God for giving you such a treasure.

********************************************************************

a/n - not my best work, but here it is. Hopefully my fellow Kaku girls out there still enjoy it :)

[sapphirerogers]

I lack the wisdom required to write this fic, but I hope someone skilled enough takes the initiative to.

Have any of you ever thought about Steve Rogers waking up from the ice and not going back to fighting?

He wakes up, Fury tells him he needs him, and Steve makes a choice for himself and says no, at least for now. Fury respects that choice, Steve gets a therapist (a good one, not Dr. Christina Passive-Aggressive Raynor) and uses his second chance in life to do the things he actually wanted to. Art. History. Maybe he goes to college again.

On top of all this, he figures out the internet (come on, he's a smart man. He's not gonna be clueless forever) and you know golden boy Steve would jump at the chance of using social media for a good cause.

And I also think Steve would be great at debates. The fucker (affectionate) has a way with words. He's also a nerd. He's well informed and has quick thinking skills. He gets into online fights a lot. Tweets and retweets a hell lot.

Gets Tumblr. (Steve would love tumblr don't lie to me) Reblogs things like it's his last day on earth. (But somehow makes sure to utilise the tag feature perfectly so everything is organised).

Some dudebro makes a misogynistic comment and he's there to verbally drop kick Dudebro into the next week.

Somebody makes an offhand comment regarding something historical and Steve gets his trusty motorcycle and drives his star spangled fine ass to the library and the next day there's a video circulating the internet of him citing sources (down the page number, paragraph number and line number) to prove why the offhand comment was grossly incorrect.

Someone angrily reposts his tweet saying "THAT IS NOT THE AMERICA OF MY DREAMS TALKING" and Steve proceeds to respond with "I'm a person. I can't be a country. What I can try to be is a good human being." and then absolutely demolishes the other person. (Yes to Steve reclaiming himself as Steve Rogers and not Captain America)

He also posts art. Like, everyday. But it gets slightly overshadowed by everything else he does and says.

He has a separate Instagram. For more personal stuff. Pictures of himself? Rarely. Pictures of birds and animals and trees and sunrises and sunsets? Absolutely. Pictures of the cat and the dog he rescued and now is a proud dad to? Everyday. (He's definitely a both person.) Maybe someday he'll step out of his comfort zone and start going live. Everyone loves him. Everyone rational, that is.

He stays away from tiktok.

2014. Fury shows up at his apartment and gets shot. Something stirs in Steve's brain as the masked assassin catches his shield. Those eyes seem familiar. Despite his reservations, he jumps back into the fray. The whole CATWS thing happens.

He finds Bucky. Brings him home. Fights tooth and nail for the charges against him to be dropped. He's got 70 years of military back-pay, he's got no problem getting the best lawyers (Matt Murdock is definitely among them) for the love of his life.

Anyways Bucky is set free. Moves in with Steve. People start gushing over him too. He stays out of Steve's internet life at first, but then the old Bucky comes back little by little. Maybe he'll join the livestreams. Maybe he'll make an Instagram of his own to post more of Steve.

People, being people, start shipping them. The two of them have a good laugh over it.

One day, out of nowhere, Steve shows up on one of his livestreams wearing a wedding ring. Comments go crazy. Bucky joins him on the couch, throws an arm around his shoulder, flashing his own matching band, smirking lazily.

The rest is mayhem. But they don't care. For Steve, life is perfect.

[I'd love to see Steve Rogers vs internet troll he'd eat that up]

I hope the good Steve Rogers authors see this. This has potential I think.

[icarusredwings]

Something The Cat Dragged In

A badly written COMEDY oneshot. (I have no clue how to write 11 or amy im sorry) No smut.

Posted: July 31st 2024.

Words: ~7,900

Ships: The Ponds, River/11/Simm

Prompt: The Doctor and River are trying to domesticate a feral Master with clicker training, and it's going about as well as you'd think.

This fic includes: Jealous 11, SFW worshiping kink, Horrible cat puns, Bondage, Amy being a freak, Pet play, Degrading, an Oblivious 11, and Mentions of Cheetah Virus changing a bored master's deoxyribonucleic structure. Consider that your trigger warning.

“Are you sure this is safe?” The ginger man asked, hesitant about the scrappy man that the raggedy doctor had brought on board the TARDIS.

“Absolutely!” He chimed, the smile on his face clearly larger than how much trust he had in this situation being anywhere near ‘safe’.

He knew that smile. That was the ‘I'm lying because I don't want to tell the truth’ smile. The one you had to watch out for. So nervous that fibber was..

“Oh, Amy's going to kill you…”

“I'm sure she will! As for now-” Rory watched as the Doctor jumped around the TARDIS a bit, hitting buttons, pulling levers, twisting dials. The usual. What wasn't so usual though was the fact a half blonde man with about half an inch of dark roots was standing there, Glaring at him. Swallowing, He stepped to the left, and then more towards the Doctor, being tracked by his eyes. Something about the way he smirked with such wide teeth made a shiver run up his spine.

Look, He's met a lot of odd aliens and crazies at the hospital but this guy looked at him as if he'd eat him whole in one bite.

“Doctor-”

“Not now Rory! Busy!” Coming around, He seemed to have this be the entire plan, getting the drop on him as he spun behind him, clamping a thick metal bracelet around his wrist, holding it as he quickly clamped the other. “Hey!”

“There we go! That's better!”

Huffing, the man began to try to take off the bracelet only to emit a small red light and a beeping noise. “Take this off of me! Right now!”

“Uhhhh…No.”

“Yes! Take it off or i'll-”

“You'll what? Hm? Still in the habit of telling me your plans are we? God you've always been like that. So clever and yet.. so dull..”

“I am NOT dull! You're stupid bowtie is dull!”

“Hey! Bowties are cool. Now then, Rory this is-... er.”

“Say it.”

“..er..”

“Go on. Say it!”

Taking a breath, The Doctor knew that no matter what he said would be bad. If he introduced him as Koschei, He'd not rest until he at least stabbed him in one of his stomachs.

“Rory, Master. Master, Rory.”

With a great sense of pride, The Master grins ear to ear, Putting his hands out and bowing as if he had just introduced someone extremely important. Perhaps an old friend that once held such great respect but now it seems both of their minds have gone a bit off their rockers. More so the other's, but they both thought this.

“... should I be worried?”

“Oh, Yes.”

“No!”

“Don't lie to them, Doctor! You and I both know what happens when I'm hungry..”

“Doctor? What's he mean by that?” Giving a look of concern, he backed away just slightly enough to trip over a loose wire. This fear seemed to please the blonde while the Doctor rolled his eyes. “Oh you are fine, I just fed you.”

“He's on a feeding schedule? Like… some kind of pet?”

“Do not speak of me like I am nothing but a pet!! I'm far beyond Your comprehensive abilities! Use your tongue to call me anything below your Master and It will surely be a mistake!”

“Yeah, About that, You're in charge of not letting me forget to feed him, okay? Jolly good, alright, Now! I do have to apologize, Your old room was destroyed but we have bunk beds! Cool right?” He rambled.

“Why do I have to make sure you remember?” Rory asks, scrunching his nose as he took another step forward.

“Do you want to find out?” The Master beamed, quite excited about teasing and gaining authority over the Doctor's fellow companions. If anything, They were pets. Not him.

“I wouldn't recommend that! Lets just say, You don't want to find out. Anywho! Back to what I was saying!” For a third time he turns to his old friend, new traveling buddy, hands clapped together politely.

“Your old room is busted. Gonzo! So you'll have to make a new one. Any requests?”

“Wait wait wait-”

“Good god, Rory what now? You're being quite rude!”

“You can't just bring someone aboard who's going to eat me and fly on by!”

“I thought we already established this. Keep up!”

“Yeah, keep up!” The Master shouted, egging the man on. “And if you can't, get off the ship! Do us all a favor and jump overboard.”

At this, he was met with a cross look and his ear being pulled. “Aye stop that! Now you're the one being rude!”

The days that followed weren't so simple. Between the Master trying to get out the front door, snapping at them, insulting everyone he met, refusing to eat certain things, and both Rory and Amy losing sleep with how much they argued, you could say that things were in fact not going well. The Doctor on the other hand said differently, claiming that it took time to get used to TARDIS living arrangements.

The thing that really got him rowdy though was his vaccines. Between scratching, cursing and kicking, it was a wonder how the Doctor was able to manage him at all, even if his methods weren't exactly filled with the most logic, some being closely related to rewards.

When the Master DID finally escape, his punishment was to wear a bell. That's it. A normal bell. Quite a large one though. Suited more for a large dog then a cat.

When he purposely shoved all the trinkets and containers off of the top of the fridge in order to sit on top of it, The Doctor made him a loft to lay on with his own window.

This seemed to have worked for a while, watching the stars as they floated by. But then when the problem arose of him not eating, The Doctor gave him a bean bag chair hoping having his own special spot would make him feel better.

But it didn't. If anything he only ripped it up, purposely destroying it. Coming back to the TARDIS to that kind of mess was enough for Amy to suggest getting rid of him or perhaps caging him up when they left but the Doctor was just in awe at how relaxed he was, snoring ever so softly while lounging on his loft as if he were purring from curing his boredom for the day.

“Aww Amy.. I couldn't. Look how happy he is.”

“He trashed the TARDIS! I thought you said you were going to take care of him?”

“I am! It's just… oh what's that word?”

“Hard?”

“Impossible?”

“Nothing is impossible.” He says, shaking his head.

“But you said that tons of times..”

“And yet none of them were true!” He says, wagging a finger. “I just have to think.”

So he thought. What else could he do? The Master was bound to rebel. That's been proven already.

“Well you better do it soon or else he's going to rip up your fez next..” this gave him an idea.. quite a large one at that.

“Oh Rory!! Wonderful Rory!” He says, grabbing his face as he holds him tight with that excited but manic glint.

“That's just what he needs!”

The two watched as the Doctor ran off to the console, trying to jump over the billions of beads only to slip, Falling for only a moment, popping back up over on the other side.

“A .. fez??”

“No!- well. Yes. But no. You'll see! Now go on. Don't you have erm-” he waved his hand at them, his brain doing that thing where his words were all jumbled up inside, making it difficult to speak. “Kissing to do? Or something? Don't worry about me I got a lot of cleaning up to do and- OH yes! Amy, are you finished playing that game with the rope? You know, the one you told me about?”

The ginger man's eyes widened greatly as he gave his wife a look of terror. The kind you only get when your head was screaming ‘WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT?!’

The woman now blushed, Crossing her arms as she returned the look to her husband, implying that she had everything under control. “You mean that one where we pretend to be Fenrir and see how long it takes to get untied?”

“Yes!” He snapped his fingers. “That one! Quite a loud game is it not? Anywho- Can I have the rope back? I'm glad you two wish to practice kidnapping safety but I'm afraid In this era people are going more with handcuffs then rope.”

Amy's eyes became brighter, the kind that scared her husband to death.

“Handcuffs you say?”

“It seems in most situations they're used more often than rope nowadays.”

“Is that so?”

“..Why are you asking like that?”

“I was just wondering…What if we practiced getting out of handcuffs instead then? It would make a lot more sense to practice with modern tools then-”

“Oh will you SHUT up!? Get a room will you?! God. It's bad enough I'm stuck here with you two. I don't want to hear that either!”

Glancing up, the Doctor grinned seeing the Master awake and his same cranky self.

“Oh, be nice! They do have a room!...Still don't know why you'd ever want me to take out the bunk beds though…” he muttered this last part, rubbing his chin.

“Soooo….Doctor? Cuffs?” Amy started, rocking back on her heels.

“Oh yes! Here you are.” Tapping a button on the console, a small drawer popped out as he tossed two sets at the red head, Tapping another as a door in the wall opened up, revealing cleaning supplies. “Now, if you excuse me. I have work to do. And you mister! You're going to help me!” He shouts, only to be given a lazy bird and a “No i'm not.”

Sighing, the Doctor made a face of disappointment but wasn't surprised.

“I suppose you're not… Got it..”

It's been about 2 months since the Master joined their voyages. So far he's only had about 30 true crimes, and by that I mean he caught one of the homes they visted on fire.

About 53 “naughty” days. The Last week though? It's been secretly excellent. The Doctor thought that things were going great.

He's found that by giving the Master MORE freedom, he's actually learned how to behave quite a bit. It seems that separating him from the tasks of everyday life made him feel unwanted and untrusted (for obvious reason).

Hell, even he was shocked when told he was allowed to do important things.

Not only did he now have free range of the TARDIS but he was allowed to do mostly everything. He's even tried his luck at pushing buttons by sniffing around the other companions' rooms, knocking over and purposely misplacing things. All of which were met with a short talk and sometimes a hug.

This confused him greatly. He just broke something, why was he being forcibly hugged and then scolded? The Doctor would tell him to clean it up and if he didn't would get locked in the room (so he couldn't make another mess) forced to observe as the Doctor cleaned it himself.

He still had the bio bracelets so that he couldn't fully man the TARDIS but the Doctor began asking him to pull levers and asking his opinion on things. But why would the Doctor want his advice? He was a mere prisoner… usually captains of a ship didn't ask the people in the cellar for advice.

His bell had been kept on for safety reasons, mainly because he thought it was funny to chase Rory around until Amy came to spoil the fun by spraying him with a water pistol holding a liquid he couldn't quite place. Sometimes it stunk.

Once he opened his mouth to hiss at her and it went straight down his throat, cutting off the noise as he growled, only to realize it was sweeter than regular water. What was that? Sugar water?? No if it was sugar water it wouldn't stink like that..

Looking out his window, he was content as he watched the stars pass by, not entirely sure of what planet they were at but had a close enough idea of which solar system they were in. He could feel that they were extremely far from earth, further then that pathetic planet pluto, further than alpha centauri, and even further than Estello Aqualo, a planet full of nothing but water inhabitants.

Oh how he hated water planets. He much preferred reddish orange planets like Mars, Jupiter And Saturn. They reminded him of home… and the fact that blue was SO Last millenia-

While laying up here, up on his metal loft, He was mindlessly thinking, something he couldn't often do because of the constant thumping in his head but he's found that these bracelets dimmed the sound into a small tap rather than a thump of a hammer against his skull. He still heard it, oh yes he definitely could but it was much softer. Almost like a lullaby.

Lazily tossing the Doctor's ridiculous fez up and down, he wondered if the Doctor would be able to ever take it away… Rassilon only knew just how threaded the beat been woven into his life. And as much pain as it has caused him… He couldn't help but wonder…

What would he be without it?

Would he go back to being who he was before? An innocent child hoping, praying, Waiting until the day he received his Time Robes and was given his own TARDIS 60? Until he was gifted the honor of having his own team to command?

A team of his friends?

Until he was on the same team as Theta…?

No.

He could never stand with the Doctor. Never fully on the same team but yet- He sat up. They reminded him of those cartoons he watched when on earth.

Wile E Coyote and the Roadrunner.

Iron Man and Captain America.

Batman and Joker.

The Master looked at the hat in his hands, pondering if he should put it on.. or perhaps throw it out the window! Or…

“Has anyone seen my Fez? I seem to have misplaced it.”

“Have you checked your room?”

“I've checked my bunk, yes. I've also checked the clothing closet and storage rooms.”

Listening from above, he let out a deep sigh, hoping down with a clattering of the TARDIS grate underneath. Being glanced at, He took a few steps forward, handing him the hat.

“Wha- Oh! Thank you!” Taking the fez he smiled, putting it on as if he seemed incomplete without it only to quickly hug him before bouncing off to what ever nonsense he was up to now.

Returning the hug, He didn't seem to notice until Rory stood there, Staring at him with an open mouth.

“What?” He grunted.

“...You..”

“Spit it out you ape.”

“..You returned his hat..”

“Congratulations. You have eyes.”

“No no no, I mean… you returned his hat.. and hugged him..”

“He hugs all of us all the time, whats your point? If you say something stupid like friendship im going to stab you.”

“But today you hugged back. You never hug back.”

“And? so Wh- Oohh ….” Now freezing, He blinked. He did do that.. didn't he? Why did he do that?!

Why did he give it to him so easily? He didn't even ask for it back and he just.. handed it to him? And not only the hat but he returned his hug too?

….Why did I do that?

Now the two stared at each other, both worried and concerned on different levels for opposite things. One worried if he was getting soft, or possibly being brainwashed, the other concerned that he was about to lose an arm.

The silence only broke when he looked at his hands and muttered “Am I sick?? Don't answer that!”

Opening his mouth to reply, Rory immediately shut it, Nodding softly in understanding. While he was quite a brave man, he was smart enough to know that the Master WOULD in fact eat him. And the Doctor couldn't save him forever…

For the next couple of days, he thought about this heavily, deciding that next time he would rip up the hat on purpose. Yeah that'll show him! As for now, He had been standing by the control console, looking at the destination only to scrunch up his nose.

Oh great. Earth. 44 BCE. Just what they needed. More interactions with uncivilized humans fighting over politics… at least this would be entertaining. Assassinations always were when they succeeded.

Coming up to the console, The Doctor clicked a few things, Petting part of the tubing with a happy hum. The hum was slow and sounded like something he'd heard many many years ago. Something of taste. Yawning, He listened to the humming until the Doctor walked off to do something else before unconsciously bee lining for his room.

Climbing into the top bunk (The Doctor had the bottom one whenever he did decide to sleep so it was barely used.) The Master pulled the blankets up around him. Tugging his pillow close, closing his eyes. It didn't take long until he started making rhymed breaths, a rumbling in his chest and throat starting to form from the amount of comfort under the thick blanket.

He got cold easily, as most Gallifreyans did due to the natural heat that they grew up with. Even during his time as Prime Minister he wore layers. Lots of them, blankets in the Limos and curling up to Lucy in an attempt to steal what little warmth humans had. Why the Doctor favored London, a cold, rainy and cloudy place? He'd never know. He prefered somewhere warm. Usually the warmer, the more interesting beasts to see scare small children.

A few moments later he stopped the purring, opening his eyes with a confused “Wait a minute..” look. Why was he sleeping? He wasn't even tired and it was 1 in the afternoon. His regular nap time wasn't until 4.

What in all things unholy was going on?? Did the Doctor do this? A curse perhaps? Was it these?

Rolling over, he looked at the metal on his wrists and for the 14th time he began to gnaw on the bracelets, growling in frustration. What was going on!? Whatever it was, he didn't like it… Mmh…Oh well. He was already there.

The next day, a certain clattering of pans made him perk up. He was swinging in his rope hammock, batting at the decorations that the Doctor specifically told him not to mess with, climbing on them, tugging them, kicking them, biting them, etc.

Anything to try and ruin it but it was proving to be quite difficult to do and not be caught seeing as it was thick enough to not break easily.

Sure, he could just rip them down with the strength he had but that would be no fun. It would cut the fun by 78% actually. He'd already done the math. Whenever someone could come in, He'd instantly stop and pretend to be innocently snoozing.

The pang of pans though? That was enough to bring him down. Climbing out of his swing, the Master followed the noise, coming to the kitchen as he sat at the table, the chair specifically to the left side, separated from the others. A nice pillow on his chair as well.

Honestly he was quite proud of this one. The Master had thrown a fit for hours straight until the Doctor gave him a special chair and now he sat in it like a king peering over his subjects (when in truth, It's just because everyone else was too scared to sit next to him while he ate, afraid they'd get snapped at or bitten if the Master thought they wanted his food)

Sitting here, he waited. Patiently at first but his patience was quickly running out when seeing no one else was coming. Hadn't they heard? Were they not hungry? Well good. He'd simply have it all then. There was no waste on this ship. None at all thanks to him, except when it came to pickles or cucumbers. He hated them. They looked and smelled foul enough for him to hiss, gag, and vomit all at once.

Eventually, his patience grew tired as he looked to the redheaded woman who dropped these pans everyday. For some reason, the Doctor kept these pans up high and getting them down was a nightmare, even for him.

You had to move the pans in order to get the plates behind them. Honestly, the kitchen's arrangement system made him think of the time the Doctor used to store his robes with his socks and his shirts with his underwear.

Who did that??

“Where is everyone?” He asked her, in which turn she turned to glance at him, having heard the jingling of his bell already.

“What do you mean?”

“It's time for a meal…yes?”

“No?? it's 3 pm. Why would you think it's time for dinner already?” She asked.

The Master paused.. Why did he think it was time? Wait, why did he come in here in the first place?

Oh yes! The pans.

“You.. dropped the pans.” It was said with a questioning tone at the end more than a statement.

“Yeah? I drop them every time because this kitchen is an utter mess.”

“riiighht…”

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Amy was right. This place was a disaster. If he didn't enjoy the chaos of watching the humans try to figure out the unorganized kitchen he'd say screw it and fix it himself. But what fun would that be?

“What do you want anyway?” She grumbled.

“What?”

“You heard me. What do you want? What stupid little plan do you have now? Come to remind me how dumb I am for dropping everything? Going to threaten to eat me? ...Again?”

The master blinked, tilting his head.

“Well… No I-” Wait.. How dare she speak to him like that! But.. yeah.. why did he come to the sound of the pans? It was odd. Even For him. Perhaps he got his hours mixed up?- No. It was something more than that. Something he wasn't able to figure out.

Seeing the confusion on his face, Amy frowned, now feeling a little bad. “Oh… Are you hungry? Do you want a snack or..something?”

“Huh?”

“It's just that.. you ran in here like a cat hearing a can of tuna being opened.”

“What!? I did not!”

“Oh you SO did. Here, I'll ask the Doctor where he keeps the snacks for you, okay?”

“What do I look like a dog?”

“He mentioned something about buffalo lungs the other day.”

As if hearing a magic word, He smiled at her widely, the kind he only did when actually excited. “He did? Where?”

“But I dont know if they're yours or his… he eats some pretty weird stuff.”

“Aye! Are you insulting our culture?”

“Maybe I am. What are you going to do about it, bellboy? He's not going to give you a treat if you keep misbehaving.”

Glaring, his arms crossed. “...You're the one being rude.. the Doctor says I'M not allowed to be rude so why can you? God he was always a hypocrite..”

“Look just-” But before she could continue, he heard a different noise. A known squeak of an in-need-of-oil door. Turning away, he ignored her, taking off towards the door.

“Typical..” she sighed, figuring she might as well go see if the Doctor would share his snacks or not, just incase he came back.

Running through the TARDIS Involved jumping over a couple of things and coming to a stop as he saw that curly headed woman standing in the doorway holding a box.

Stepping deeper into the TARDIS, Her heels tapped, No- Clicked against the tile, humming as she spun around what looked to be a set of keys on a colorful keychain. She was sporting a sun hat and far less clothing than he remembered her from last time. His nose scrunched at the smell of sun lotion.

Peering out the door, he seen tons of reddish tinted sand and a sky of orange, yellow, pink. A sea of red. A large pink moon, visible in the sky from where he stood. Where were they? When did they land?

“Ah ah ah- Not so fast Kitty. Where do you think you're going?” She asks, smirking with that type of affection that the Doctor would give him at times before snapping the door closed. It was so annoying..

Beginning to glare from the nickname, a quiet growl rose in his throat. She called him this because of the bell around his neck and the fact that she had caught him “purring” in his sleep, when OBVIOUSLY it was snoring. Duh.

“Why are you here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, pumpkin.”

His nose scrunched further, Tilting his head like a confused puppy, the way the Doctor does at times. “Why are you calling me a squash?”

“It's a form of endearment! I er- I think?”

Turning, He rolled his eyes. Oh great. Someone else who was annoying- Though… He looked.. different today. His hair was pushed back and shiney, probably with gel. He had that hideous footwear on again too, but now he was wearing a half opened blue palm tree shirt with parrots and coconuts on it. For a moment he was going to question why his shirt was half undone but saw him quickly trying to finish buttoning it up.

“Hello, Sweetie.”

“H-hi” His friend stuttered, trying to stay focused on his buttons and not the fact River was in a two piece and a small cover up tied around her waist.

“What's the rush? You act like you don't want me seeing you.”

“Oh n-No! Nothing like that! Not at all I just thought-”

River leaned in close to his face, that same smirk plastered onto her lips.

“You thought you wanted to make me work for it… Didn't you? Want me to rip it off with my teeth? You naughty boy.”

“I-..” The Doctor swallowed, looking as if he malfunctioned, like a restarting cellphone.

The Master made a fake gagging noise, rolling his eyes even harder as he pointed into his mouth.

“I thought I told you not to be rude?” Was the first thing the restarted phone said once it finished rebooting. Being scolded felt nice. All eyes in the room on him.

“What? I didn't even say anything this time.” He teased.

River smiled wider, fondly shaking her head as she handed him the small Rainbow clicky key chain. It was shaped like a slug and when you shook it, it made noise and moved in a slithering motion.

“You open that box, and it's yours, sweetie.”

“Why are you calling him sweetie?” He asked, stepping forward as If wanting attention too but she ignored him for now. She watched with a pleased grin as he took the box, looking at it, shaking it next to his ear.

“What is it?”

“Spoilers.”

“.. I hate when you say that..”

“I know. I've been having some trouble with it. The box I mean” She explains, her boyfriend now cocking a brow, pouting that the Master was getting more attention then him. If he knew one thing about River, it's that his dear Melody would never give a box to a man if she had trouble opening it. She'd just blow the lock off with one of her fancy guns.

“No you're no-”

She kissed him, grabbing his bow tie and staining his lips that bright red that she wore often. During their kiss, one of his once flat hairs stuck up, flopping over into his face.

Pulling away, he took a breath, baffled at what in the world was going on.

Completely ignoring this, as this was common whenever River came by, The Master was sitting on the floor, shoving One of the dozen keys into the hole, jiggling them around, cursing under his breath whenever they didn't work. Blinking, The Doctor smiled seeing how entertained he was, leaning in close to the woman. “What actually is in that box, River?”

“Oh you two are so much alike. Too curious for your own good.”

“What? No. We're nothing alike.”

“Yes we are. I've been saying this for eons.” the man on the floor muttered, Putting his arms up in triumph as he got the right key out of the dozen.

“What is it?” The Doctor asks, trying to peer over his shoulder.

“It's mine, that's what!” He says, taking out a box all taped up in clear cellophane but he could see the label, grinning widely to himself, keeping it close so the Doctor couldn't see. He knew he'd want to take it away. River was always bringing him treats. As many times as she made him gag, he always knew that her heels meant something good.

Glancing at River with those big puppy eyes, she giggled, taking his arm as she whispered to him. “It's a knife.”

“A what?! Why would you give him that!? You know he's-”

“Ooh hush. Let him have some fun.”

“If by fun you mean killing your parents and possibly me then sure- River why would you-”

She kissed him again.

“Mh- Thank you but you can't just keep-”

And again.

“River!” He whined

And another.

By now, he's learned not to speak or else she'd kiss him a fourth time just to shut him up. Not like it was a bad thing but he really was concerned.

“There's a good boy. Now. Is operation cat-astrophe still happening?”

For a moment or two, he seemed confused until she put her head towards the Master in which he gasped, nodding. “Oh Yes!”

“I see that Door is a check.” She mumbles, remembering how quickly he came when the door was opened.

“We're working on that. Clicky treats is a go I suppose?”

“Mmmhm. You should have seen how happy he was to see me.”

“Good good.. Just wished you would've chosen a different gift..”

“Just watch And see, sweetheart. Goodness so impatient.” She whispered.

During this conversation, nothing else mattered to the Master except biting and tearing through these 10 layers of tape. Growling, he was becoming a bit frustrated, but it only seemed to make him work harder at it, sticking out his tongue for maximum brain operation.

“Oh I love when he makes that face.”

“What face??”

“With his tongue? It's like you and your glasses.”

“What? No-”

“Yes.”

“AHA!!” He had finally ripped open the box, giggling to himself as he took his prize, quickly running off, probably to go attempt a murder.

“Hm. Well that lasted about 5 minutes…”

“How long do you think until he realizes it's bio locked?” She whispered, smirking like ever.

Staring at her, The Doctors grin grew. “Aahh I see.. you..”

“Mhm.”

“So that-”

“Yes.”

“And now?”

“Yup.. aannnd here he comes.” She could hear the incoming jingling from his bell serving it's purpose.

Coming back to them both, he was pissed. He had just tried to stab Amy and nothing happened, The blade just went inside like one of those cheap toys from the supermarket. He felt the blade. It was real, not plastic, So why wasn't it working? It wasn't fair.

“What did you do to my knife!?”

“Whatever do you mean, Pumpkin?”

“Stop calling me a squash you witch! I can't stab anybody! What kind of present is that!?”

“Did you try stabbing… Things?” River says, raising her brows in a pleased, smugness.

“Things?” Pausing for a few seconds, He soon got the biggest shit eating grin, Running away a second time. Moments later, they heard a crash, laughing, and a loud “Hey!!”

The Doctor blinked. “...He just broke your mothers vase..”

“It was a hideous vase.”

“River!”

“What? Now come on. We have some more training to do.”

Later, after the Master destroyed exactly 3 ceramic things, stabbed the table to death, ripped up all Rory's pillows, and used his new toy to cut up some cheese as a snack, He now was curious about the door again.

Sneaking towards it and looking outside like a cat that wanted to go out but was nervous he'd get scolded, he watched as the Doctor set up lounge chairs and towels on the beach.

Again the heels. Part of him became excited. He liked that clicking- But why? Since when did he like River?? He didn't. He didn't like anyone on this damned ship that he was prisoner to.

“Hi cupcake. You wanna go outside sweetpea?”

His eyebrows scrunched. “I'm not a baked goods… Or a flower. Are you insulting me?”

“Terms of endearment, dear. Remember? Anyway, Let's say you and me go outside hm?”

He looked at her with hesitance. She was being suspicious… He wasn't allowed outside. What was this? Some sort of test? Fine. He'd play their game.

“No… I'm not allowed outside.”

“Aww why not?”

“Cause..??” Was she stupid? Prisoners weren't allowed to leave. That's the whole point of his cuffs And collar. Kept on an invisible, metaphorical leash at all times.

“Well… The Doctor and I are going to sit on the beach. Do you want to come?”

The light in his eyes alone was enough to make River want to hug him to bits. Why were Time Lords so cute? Was it some sort of defense mechanism? Or was it the Feline Virus thing the Doctor told her about lingering in his genetic code?

Starting to nod, he quickly stopped, now playing with his hands. “no.. I'll get in trouble..” and just like that, that light died so soon. So short lived. Frowning, she almost felt pitiful for him. “That is true… but wait! Have you ever tried.. you know.. asking?”

“A-asking to go outside..?”

“Yes.”

“He'll just say no. Every time I get out, I get in trouble.”

“But did you ask?”

Poking his fingers together, he made a sound that sounded uncertain. It broke her heart. Now she was going to scold her husband.

“Alright.. well.. if you want to come join us outside, All you have to do is ask. Mkay?”

And she took off her heels, setting them up on the TARDIS dash only to walk out barefoot, the red sands making footprints as she went.

Standing at the door, now he was really unsure. This felt like a trap.. why would she tease him with freedom like that? Why would she give him a knife? And for the love of god- Why did he get excited when he heard her heels clicking on the TARDIS floor?

Slowly, he peeks his head out of the TARDIS, looking around the planet, The sky, the waves, the footprints she left.

“Hey!” Becoming startled, he jumped a bit, ducking back into the blue box. He wasn't entirely sure if these cuffs would electrocute him if he left or not.. even though Amy joked about them being shock bracelets… The Doctor couldn't do that..

Right?

“Do you want a Jelly worm?!” This was shouted from about 50 feet away by a man with his shirt half unbuttoned, holding a bag of candies while River slathered sunscreen all over him.

“I think theyre called Gummy worms, dear.” She mumbled.

“I'm certain they're called jelly worms.”

“Oh yeah? Read the package.”

Looking at the pack, He pouted. “Jelly worms sound cooler.”

Blinking, The Master wondered if he was talking to him or someone else.

“Me?”

“Yeah! You want a ‘Gummy worm'?!”

“What’s a gummy worm?! Can... I come outside?” This was asked in speaking tone rather then a shout.

“What!?”

“What's a gum-! You know what.. nevermind.” he mumbled, frowning as he stepped a foot on the sand, wincing, expecting his wrists to send electromagnetic shocks through his arms. But nothing happened.

Discovering this, he ran out of the TARDIS, circling round it before coming towards the other two, grinning.

“What's a gummy worm?”

“Its a jelly worm.”

“Oh! Yeah. Gummy Worm sounds stupid.”

He mumbled, being given a few of the candies. Glancing at River, The Doctor had a smug look, wiggling his eyebrows at her as she rolled her eyes, smiling.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” He shoved one in his mouth. “I think-” another “-they're called jelly worms.” A third one.

“That's what I said! See?”

“Everyone else calls them Gummy worms because they're made with xanthan gum.”

“Like Xanax?”

“What!? No!” She laughed. “Goodness. You had some fun as Prime Minister didn't you?”

“What's Xanax?? Is that a fancy drink?” The Doctor asked, shoving some worms in his mouth as the two looked at each other as if mentally playing rock paper scissors to see which unlucky soul got to teach the Doctor about recreational drugs.

“Seeya-” He said, taking off.

“Ah you gotta be kitten me.” She smirks and the Doctor gives her a look as if to say ‘Really?’ Only to giggle too.

“That's just claw-ful!”

River gave a chuckle before sighing.

“Well.. looks like it's just you and me, sweetheart..”

“Fur-ever?” He held out his pinky, smirking as he raised his eyebrows a few times. River giggled, rolling her eyes only to take the pinky, bringing the intertwined fingers up to her lips.

“Fur-ever. Till the end?”

“Until the end of time and more, my darling.” He would never be able to forget her.. not ever. How could he?

A few times, The Master would run away, doing circles, Zoomies as river called it but never seemed to get too far from the TARDIS, returning when offered more Jelly worms, each time recieving a praise and a snack for coming back to them.

Now he was becoming bored of the laps, even going as far as putting his toes curiously into the ocean, realizing that it was warm. Like a water bottle left out in the sun. This displeased him. He was already hot from his laps around the beach, he didn't want hot water all over his body. Hot was an understatement. If it were hot like the baths he'd not mind but it was the gross kind of warm. The kind that felt yucky on your skin. God he hated water..

It was then he realized that outside of the TARDIS he had free will, coming over to lift the Doctor's chair, dumping him over only to run away, manically laughing, giggling almost.

“What the-!?”

“Catch me if you dare!” He yelled, Dashing off, further and further away. A rush of adrenaline and freedom taking over him. This seemed like the start of a fun game… that was until he had run so far that he was panting and the TARDIS looked like a tiny dot from here.

Where was everyone on this planet anyway? He'd come all this way and not seen a single person. Not a hint of a town, and definitely not a city. Part of him cursed the Doctor for taking him to a deserted solar system with no one to play with- and on top of that, For not chasing after him. He knew how this game worked, didn't he? One ran, the other chased. It's been like this for thousands of years.

So why not now? Was it because of that woman? The daughter of Amelia Pond? This still confused him greatly. He understood the concept of time travel, duh, but what confused him is why her parents would let her marry A dingus like the Doctor. I mean really? Why did she lower her standards?*

Eventually, curiosity killed the cat. He ran as far as he could, trying to find any forms of life, only finding himself alone. Completely and utterly abandoned it seemed. This puzzled him. Why would the Doctor want to come here? There was nothing but a waste land of sand.

Later, When he came back into the TARDIS painting, sweating, and whining from all that walking and running. He shut the door, collapsing on the floor as he laid there, feeling her cool air coming up from the grates and her cold metal against his skin.

Just because Gallifreyans were resistant to heat didn't mean that going out in the blazing sun with a black hoodie was a good idea. Especially not when there wasn't anywhere to go. Not even a tree in sight.

“Well well well. Look what the cat dragged in.” The curly haired woman says, Smiling as she sat next to the Doctor on the torn up sofa that they apparently had moved into the TARDIS control room. (For whatever reason)

They probably had just finished kissing (or got interrupted) seeing as there was lipstick smeared over the Doctors lips and he doubted heavily that the doctor applied it himself… He wasn't THAT much of an idiot… He knew how to appropriately apply lipstick.. even he knew that.

“Why didn't you tell me there wasn't anything out there!?”

“We figured you'd find out for yourself sooner or later” The Doctor says, Scooting over, Trying to wipe the lipstick off of him only to smear it onto his hand and cuff.

“Who's we? Come're baabbyyy” River coed, putting her arms out to him.

Without a second to think about it, he began to scramble over to her only, crawling the few feet only to stop dead in his tracks. What the fuck was he doing? And why?

Sure he's laid between them multiple times to purposely frustrate them, but now it seemed as if they were welcoming him with literal open arms. Why? Cocking a brow, He himself was now frustrated, why were they being so… Kind.. to him? For what? His thinking soon sufficed when called for again.

“Come on. Come to mommy. What did that mean man do to you, hm?” She coed.

“I am not! He's just… bad!”

“Oh he's not bad! He's bored.”

"Yeah! There's a difference!" He awnsered And just like that, in her lap he went, being sure to push the Doctor away from her with his feet, trying to be a menace as much as possible, laying his head in her lap as he stared up at her. Petting his head, she giggled, talking to him further to make him feel pampered and praised. If there was one thing she knew, The Master adored being worshipped and given attention. Ignoring him made things 10 times worse, so she's learned that if she petted him long enough he would go to sleep and she could talk to her dear husband some more before the little gremlin woke up.

“What did he do, hm?? So cruel. Leaving you out there all alone?” River smirked as he already was droopy lidded, nodding softly along with the words.

“I did not. It's his fault for running off.”

“Oooh he's done nothing wrong.”

“... It's really hard to teach him when you keep enabling him, love..”

“That's why it's called Paw-sitive reinforcement, Doctor.” She said this in a sing-songy voice, Letting him get comfy as he turned over, Subconsciously nuzzling up to her hands and stomach.

Truth be told, he could care less what they were talking about right now. He was far too tired to listen to them bicker, using it as white noise, hoping it would drown out the drums that pounded in his head every waking moment of existence.

While they were faint, they were still there. At the back of his mind, like trying to smash through a 2 foot thick wall of ice, bound to break eventually, but right now, they gave him comfort. A constant reminder of who he was and that if anything was real? It was the pounding.

The warmth of her hands also gave him comfort, running her pointed red nails through his bleached blonde and trailing up and down his back through his hoodie.

A few minutes pass and the Doctor is now staring at them with a fond look, a shallow pang of jealousy but he wasn't sure about who. He was jealous of River for being able to get HIS best friend so cuddly and he was jealous of the master for cuddling up to HIS wife. It made him want to take him from her, put him on his lap and let him sleep there instead, but also shove him off the couch and take his place. God this was so difficult. How did humans do this relationship thing? It was so… annoying yet.. wonderful! He wouldn't change it for the world. He was so sleepy and… beautiful.

“You're staring sweetie..”

The voice echoed through his brain once, then twice before he looked up. “Huh?”

“You're staring again… Don't worry. You'll get your turn.”

“When?”

“Oooh so impatient.”

“No I mean- I.. When can I hold him?”

Her eyes widened, not aware that she had been hogging, let alone that he would want a turn at all. “Well… You can have him now if you'd like.”

“I..” Man this was embarrassing. “I think I'd like that.”

Carefully, They moved him from one lap to another, Which at first led to a protest of whining and gentle clawing**, Assuming he was falling off the couch.

“Shh shh shh. No honey. You're okay. You're just fine.” She whispered, pulling his hands away, trying to keep him from sitting up by putting her hand up under the thick sweater, scratching his back ever so gently the way he enjoyed before.

Letting out a sigh of relief, His shoulders dropped, curling up the way he liked in the Doctor's lap instead, a deep rumbling beginning from him. “.. He's so tired..”

“From all that running around, probably.” She whispered, enjoying his purring.

“No.. He's exhausted. His last regeneration went a bit..wonky. I don't even know if….If..” He trailed off, the way he did when he wanted to stop talking about something instead of when he forgot what he was saying.

“What? Cat got your tongue?”

Snickering, He shook his head. “No... I just.. even Time Lords can only take so much and..”

River knew. He watched him die. He burnt his body. He gave him a proper death ***ceremony- well.. about as proper as you could without others knowing.

“So it's a good thing you're taking care of him. Isn't it?”

“That's the thing. It's not that he can't do it himself, it's just that.. He's reckless..”

“Oh and I suppose we aren't?”

“River.. I don't.. I thought I was the last one for so long. I..” He took a breath, swallowing. She could see the pain and fear in his eyes.

“I can't go back to that.. Hell. For the last few months, I've been spraying him with-”

“Doctor..” She muttered a warning, noticing that the purring had stopped, but he continued.

“Catmint tea just so he'd calm down enough to-”

“You've been spraying me WITH TEA!? THIS ENTIRE TIME?!”

The woman smiled innocently, seeing the murderous glares.

“Whoops! Cats out of the bag.”

“River-! Not now!”

*just wait until he finds out she married Jack Harkness while he had the doctor caged up LOL

** clutching/ trying to hold on, he does not have retractable nails.

*** Like Torvic's. Thats why it hurt so bad.

[soupbtch]

thank you @piratecaptainscaptainpirates for tagging me to list my favorite fics I've written!!

I put off responding to this because I've only posted four fics and I felt awkward about that because I'm so new to all of this but uhhhh I'm quite proud of my work and I'm about to rave about all four of my fics, so everyone will have to deal with that alskjdfk;la

first and foremost is my beloved modern cruise ship au red skies at night. this thing took me months of time and sanity to write. so much planning and research went into it, and I think it turned out really great. I'm a huge sucker for slow burn, and if you are too, I hope you give this one a shot!!!

the first fic I ever posted was actually a little ficlet called flowers in his hair. it's very short and sweet and dear to my heart.

finally, my dear pwp innkeeper era series. good weird started as a sexual sunday post that I got way too excited about (literally, I was giggling the entire time I was writing this fic, I had such a great time). and then I got even more excited about it and ended up writing a sequel called eat that up, it's good for you!! the whole series was such a fun experiment in writing about ed and stede being silly and having weird (affectionate) sex and loving each other's bodies.

no pressure tagging @scarrletmoon @margaritaville @scribophile @ghostalservice and anyone else who wants to join!!! 🫶

[chungledown-bimothy]

Top 5 character dynamics on d20? (Intrepid heroes seasons + side quests; so 10)

oh i love this and thank you for splitting it into the 2 groups, making it slightly more possible lol

point of clarification: the slashes are NOT being used as a shipping indication. it's just faster than using and a million times. in fact, the only one i ship is colin/deli/skarna.

Side Quests:

1- Colin/Deli/Skarna. I don't need to explain this one, I think. Everything is wrong with them and it's painful and wonderful.

2- Squing/Alexsandr. Squing ate over 2500 letters Sasha wrote. Sasha wants to play with his weirdly soft head like silly putty. Every single interaction has me in hysterics, really.

3- Evan/Jammer. EAT TRASH BEAT TRASH. FAMILY ON SIX. Jammer constantly being Evan's strongest hype man is just so great.

4- Chirp/Squak. Emily and Lou decided they wanted to be an iconic, chaotic duo, and my god they knocked it out of the park. The scene where she tells him about her wife and kids?? 100/10.

5- Lila/Jaysohn/Thorn. It was really hard to not say the whole damn party, honestly. But Thorn trying to cool-uncle parent these goddamn nightmares was incredible.

Intrepid Heroes:

1- Amethar/Caramelinda. I wrote a whole fic about their early relationship. I rotate them in my mind constantly. As complicated and painful what we know about them is, what's left unsaid is even more so. (if you just meant pc/pc dynamics, i'm sorry!)

2- Sofie/Kugrash. If I start talking about the million reasons I love them and their friendship, I'll start crying, so. Not gonna do that. But you understand.

3- Pete/Kingston. Pete seeing Kingston as an authority figure to rebel against -> father figure. Kingston not giving Epona Pete's information in the same day that he says that if it comes down to NYC or Pete, he'll pick NYC ten out of ten times. The Voxes, starting diametrically opposed and ending up family, really.

4- Saccharina/Ruby. You can be my queen or my sister, but not both. The prisoners' dilemma. Jet just died, Ruby can't let anyone else in vs Ruby representing everything Saccharina has ever wanted. 100/10 Siobhan and Emily killed me.

5- Pib/Pinocchio. Literally partners in crime. Just a pair of little dudes causing Big Chaos. Pinocchio holding Pib up to Baba Yaga and saying "where the white women at?" is canon to me.

That's a lot of Lou characters oop 😅

[kilasmess]

Ok so this is an idea for a fic that I probably won't ever write.... Since it's been forever and a half since I've even attempted to write something.... But I'll post it here because the idea is running circles in my mind instead of letting me sleep like I should :/

So it's gonna be dead on main because I fucking love this ship and I need more angst to go with it.

So Danny gets stuck in Gotham right... I'm thinking Jazz discovers their parents now know Danny's secret... and thinking it's Phantom possessing Danny's corpse, they're out for blood. So Jazz hurries to Danny and traps him in the thermos, because my girl is freaking out and panicking and she always thought their parents would be understanding and now she doesn't know what to do. So she traps Danny in the thermos and is planning to release him into the ghost zone until things cool down. Except as she's releasing Danny into the ghost zone, her parents catch up to her, and now they're thinking their baby girl is possessed too, since she's helping that awful awful ghost. So they're all in the lab, and Sam and Tucker find out what's happening because they see when the Fentons try to take Danny only to see jazz got there first. Anyway, jazz released Danny into the portal, and now all three of them are afraid the Fentons will open it back up and hurt Danny, so Jazz signals Tucker to fuck with the portal with his PDA so they can't open it. Except with him trying to lock it from them, and whatever fuckery jack did to the portal, things go wrong. Wrong enough that the whole thing explodes somehow. Idk, Idk shit about electronics of Fenton fuckery so let's pretend this makes sense somehow. Anyways, they all die in the resulting explosion. And now Danny's trapped in the ghost zone since his portal was destroyed and he doesn't know how to make his own portals yet. Whatever. Point is, he's stuck, and he's confused and trying desperately to get back home because something is very very wrong. Either way, it takes him a while to make it back home. Except...

When he does make it back, it's to realize that everyone he loves is dead. He has no real way to know wtf happened, only that something exploded and now they're all dead. So, he's grieving, ofc. He's remembering what happened when everyone died in another timeline, and he doesn't want that to repeat. He's hurting and breaking down but he knows he doesn't want to become Dan, so he breaks down, makes it back to the ghost zone and just kinda drifts. Let's pretend at this point clockwork decided it's time to do something for the young halfa, give him a way to keep himself occupied so he can stop slowly letting his grief consume him. He has him start taking care of his kingly duties. Figures that's the best way from having the kid fade into a shade without a purpose. After all, his obsession is protection right? Gotta give him something to protect, and what better something than the realms he obtained by right of conquest.

Danny throws himself into it. It feeds into his obsession, and he's able to stop thinking about everything that he's lost. He's lost so much and he's not even fully sure how it happened, and he could ask clockwork, but frankly, he thinks finding out might just be the thing that breaks him. So he never asks, he throws himself into paperwork, and politics and setting a few of the realms that had fallen into disarray back to rights. He spends so much time in this, but he's not taking care of himself, obvs, and his rogues and mentors are worried for him. He's not actively wallowing anymore, and he's a great fucking king but he's also.... Not moving on..? He doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, and outright refuses to transform back into human. Which has clockwork worried... Again, because well, being a halfa is supposed to be all about balance. The perfect balance between dead and alive. but Danny is ... not balanced at all, to the point where his human half could very well end up dying. It's being, let's say about 5 years since he's taken on his duties, bout 7 or so since everyone he loved died, and he's transformed as little as possible, but let's say he's around 24ish, give or take, idk I want an older Danny. Point is, clockwork decides it's time to intervene again. He pulls a few strings with his buddy Lady Gotham, who has a depressed kinda ghost of her own and hey, if her kid can become friends with the king then all the better right? Don't worry she won't interfere much... that's clockworks job anyways.

Fuck I hate leaving things like this but I'm falling asleep so I'll try to continue this idea later ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[hihimissamericanbi]

Enemies to lovers AND only one bed? Babe, you're speaking my favorite language here. Tell me more.

well hello there, snitchy snitch!!

Okay, picture this. Sapphic enemies to lovers. Wedding trope. Our MCs are the sister of the groom and sister of the bride. They have disliked each other from the moment they met, back when their siblings first started dating. One is "Miss Priss," the other is "Surly Girlie." Our story takes place at the bachelorette party, a weekend away at the beach. Both our MCs arrive late (so they are grumpy AF already) to find they have to share the only room left. and there's only one bed.

NOW. IS THIS NOT THE PERFECT PANSMIONE. Harry and Draco are getting married. Hermione and Pansy never mended things after the war; they still despise (read: are obsessed with) one another. Now, they've had to work together (ew) to plan this stupid joint bachelor trip for the whole crew. To top it all off, Pansy's portkey got cancelled last minute, and Hermione got caught up in a work emergency at the ministry (at least what I was doing was important, parkinson; sorry if I don't feel bad your fancy first-class portkey got bumped). They spend the first night in their shared bedroom bitching each other out and sleeping as far away from each other as they can get, rolled over to each side and huffing in exasperation.

Honestly this works great for any HP ship pairing. Jily having to work together to plan Wolfstar's bachelor trip. Wolfstar exes-to-lovers planning Jily or Jegulus' trip. Drarry planning Ginsy's. You get the idea.

Below the cut for more stream-of-consciousness fic, incl NSFW art from @upthehillart :D

@hpsaffics you're getting a tag here too :)))

After much description of hot girls in bathing suits (hermione's ass) (pansy's legs) and both of them just absolutely losing their minds over each others' bodies, with lots of sniping back and forth to cover up how embarrassingly into each other they are, they end up last ones at the muggle bar the second night, too tipsy to try apparating. Fuck it, granger, dance with me. Oh boy, do they DANCE. It's so fucking hot, they can't get enough of each other, the feel of their bodies close, their flesh beneath each others' hands, that LOOK in pansy's eyes that says I'm going to eat you alive and you're going to say thank you. But just before something drastic happens, like hermione putting her lips to pansy's neck like she's been wanting to for honestly a very long time, longer than she cares to admit, Harry bursts onto the dancefloor "there you are!!! we've been looking everywhere for you get in the uber right now!"

The spell is broken, and, faces beet red, they let harry drag them back to the air bnb. they take turns showering, being sure to change into pj's in the bathroom (Pansy in a giant band tee shirt and booty shorts, Hermione in a lace pink matching set). Hermione is tying her hair up in a specially-charmed silk scarf and going over some notes from work that got delivered by owl while they were out, and pansy thinks she's the loveliest thing she's ever seen. Pansy's caught staring. "what?" "nothing, granger." there's a pause, like maybe they each want to say more, but instead, pansy just turns out her light with her wand. "night, granger," she whispers.

There in the dark, they both lay on their backs, listening to each other breathe. they end up having a tension-filled, intense exchange where they are truly vulnerable with each other for the first time. apologies are given and accepted in the softest whispers. tentatively, pansy reaches out a hand beneath the covers, drags the back of her fingers gently over the soft skin of hermione's arm. "i really am. sorry. i never meant any of it. you." deep breath. "you're the most incredible girl I've ever met. I've always thought so."

and then--

Hermione moves with that intense decisiveness of hers. She rolls over, straddles pansy, grips her face and kisses her long and deep. Pansy opens her mouth to her instantly, and a stupid little moan escapes and it's the most pathetic sound she's ever made but she will make it again and again if it's hermione who pulls it from her. "Want you," Hermione whispers into pansy's neck, finally latching on and sucking, biting, coaxing blooming bruises of violet and and blue to her pale skin. She shoves her hands up underneath pansy's tee shirt, not an ounce of hesitation, grips her tits hard. kneads them, dances fingers over her nipples, seeing which touches elicit the most gasps from the beauty beneath her. pansy is arching and writhing with pleasure, and hermione grins into her mouth, wicked and brutal. The witch who kept a woman in a jar for months for slandering her friends, the witch who destroyed horcruxes and single-handedly kept two boys alive for the better part of seven years, the 20-something witch ruthlessly bulldozing over all the old white bureaucratic wizards at the ministry, is now the witch taking pansy apart inch by inch and fuck if pansy isn't thrilled to be broken by those powerful hands, sucked dry by plush lips, devoured by sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight as they sink into her skin over and over.

But Pansy has a few tricks up her own sleeve. She grips hermione with strong thighs and rolls them over, "Can I take off your scarf?" she breathes it her ear. "wanna pull your hair while i suck on your tits." Hermione whimpers and pulls her scarf off and pansy gathers those fucking curls into her fist and pulls, careful of course not to damage the curl pattern. Pansy licks a long stripe up her now-bared neck and over her ear, then whispers, "pull your top down. let me see." Hermione obeys, of course she obeys, pansy is commanding and relentless and if pansy wants to look hermione will let her. she fingers a strap of her camisole down off one shoulder, skims her fingertips over the top of her breast, just over the nipple still hidden beneath the fabric. Pansy's mouth is dry and her cunt throbs as she anticipates finally getting a glimpse of her nipple, already hard and poking through the silk and lace. "all the way," pansy murmurs. "take it out. show it to me." hermione whines and squirms and finally digs her hand all the way in and pulls out her breast, so fucking full and delicious with large brown nipples that beg to be kissed, so of course pansy does. Pansy looses her patience and pulls the camisole all the way down, exposing both breasts to her gaze and her wandering hands. she dives in, laving attention all across hermione's warm skin, nipping and licking and sucking and groping. her hips have started grinding down against hermione's pelvis, and hermione is arching up to meet her. "wanna make you come," pansy growls between hermione's tits. "how do you like it?" hermione stills, and pansy looks up. "um," hermione bites her lip. pansy kisses it out from behind her teeth. "yes, baby? what do you want? let me give it to you." Hermione take a deep breath. "i thought i was going to have my own room. i may have brought a few... toys." "oh, like what?" Hermione rolls over, digs around her her bag by the bed, and shyly pulls out an ENTIRE FUCKING STRAP. The magic kind that connects sensations from the strap to the wearer's clit. "I was hoping i might get lucky, going out and everything this weekend." Pansy's speechless. "Would you, um, let me fuck you with it?" hermione asks, big brown eyes wide and hopeful.

Cut to, pansy on all fours, legs kicked wide, ass up, facing the mirror by the bed, watching hermione completely naked and fucking her with her cock, her curves bouncing and slapping with every thrust, the sounds wet and loud and crude, mixing with Pansy's gasps over and over and over. Pansy's tee is shoved up by hermione's demanding hand; she's gripping the skin of her shoulder, her other fist burying in Pansy's hip and pulling her back onto her dick even as she fucks into her, hard and deep and fast. Hermione is strong and her grip bruises and Pansy couldn't move if she wanted to. "M close," Hermione murmurs. "yes, yes, yes," pansy chants in reply, all other words fucked right out of her brain. "touch yourself for me, baby, wanna watch you come first." but when pansy collapses down to one shoulder so she can use her other hand to rub her clit, she gasps in shock. Hermione has wordlessly and wandlessly charmed her fingers to vibrate. pansy shouts when her charmed fingers makes contact with her aching clit, swollen and needy from what feels like a lifetime of getting handled by hermione fucking granger. just a few passes through her folds and over her clit has Pansy shaking and coming with a muffled scream, Hermione following right behind her, the force of her orgasm plunging her cock even harder into pansy's pulsing cunt. it kicks off a second orgasm for pansy, back to back, and she screams and screams until hermione finally pulls out and gather pansy into her arms, shushing her and smoothing her hair.

They clean each other up take turns in the bathroom, and fall asleep in each other's arms.

maybe this wedding won't be so bad after all.

ps: below is my headcanon depiction of pansmione from a fic i cannot recommend enough . Art and fic both by @upthehillart

watch out the girls are naked and hot

[vmenfangirl]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers ❤️

Oh... i have a lot of things that make me really happy xD so is kinda a hard question but ok, i'll try my best...

1. Enjoy watching my fav series and movies, like GOTHAM, BTAS, Dinosaurs, The Boys, The Shawshank Redemption, BoP, The legend of 1900, Back to the Future, I love you Phillip Morris, etc... also classic animated movies from Disney and Dreamworks... plus, i really enjoy to share opinions, HCs, theories etc. about that, with my friends

2. Reading... from novels to comics; i'm always searching for new material to read or if not, i also like to reread my fav stories, with the same excitement as the first time i read them.... plus, i think reading is the perfect way to learn about everything you want so i'm always learning and that's great

3. Writting... along with drawing, are activities i really love to do cuz those make me really happy, especially if are about my fav characters or ships/OTPs, cuz these last make me more than happy, in fact, two of them (Nygmobblepot and Zsasionis/Zsasmask) i easily can say they literally saved me from a very dark and deep depression periods in my life and i'll never forget that, i'll love those OTPs forever

4. Must say, to eat... i have a kinda complicated relationship with food, since i always have this toxic thought about that every lil piece of carb and fat i put in my mouth for a second will make me overweight ten kilos in the next hour i ate them... so has been kinda hard to try and change that bad perception about food in general, that's why i feel happy when i have a good day (i don't feel that toxic thought as intense as usual) and actually can enjoy some good meal, doesn't matter what it is

5. Kinda cliche but i love listen to music, i can hear just one (1) fav song the whole day, but i'm happy to listen all the playlists too... music is also such a great inspiration for my fics so i could hear or find new music just cuz that is useful for ideas or simply cuz that remind me at any of my fav chars/ships/OTPs, so those songs become special among other fav songs

That's it xD 💖

[cosmic-ships]

No One Like You.

Ship: Ronnie x Kaden

Words: 1,590

cw: A little self loathing speak BUT DOESN'T GO INTO DETAIL! // COMFORT FIC COMFORT FIC!

Summary: Kaden is doubting if their mind is playing tricks again.

**As you know, I have been feeling down today as this morning I woke up from a really bad dream that had me in tears. I decided to write this for comfort and I honestly feel so much better. This was a great form of self care and self love for myself that I think I really needed.

If you're not a self-shipper please dni, nothing against ya, I have anxiety. lol // ok 2 rb

Kaden sighed heavily as they leaned against the register to Bobby's shop, they fiddled with buttons on the machine. They were feeling downhearted which made their company not as lively as it usually is. Today Bobby, Kaden's brother was working with them and he certainly noticed the change in Kaden.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Bobby asked cautiously. If they didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't going to pry….at least not too much.

"I 'unno" Kaden mumbled, their head resting in the palm of their hand.

"You seem really down… want to talk about it?"

"No," Kaden said sternly, shooting Bobby a small glare.

"Did you get into a fight with Ronnie or something? I don't think you two are the types to do that though" Bobby hummed softly and Kaden shook their head.

"No- I haven't talked to him at all today."

"Is that why you're down?"

"No."

Bobby let out a small sigh, he really wanted to help his sibling out but at the same time he really couldn't do much, he knew bugging would only piss them off and he didn't want that happening.

"Just feeling blah?" Bobby raised a brow to which Kaden sighed heavily. "I guess you can call it that. I didn't sleep well…" Kaden mumbled once more, standing up straight.

"Why not go home. Go rest, I'm in the shop today anyways, there's no use for both of us to stay here."

"I'd rather not be at home" Kaden sighed.

"Go. Rest. I'll fire you." Bobby teased which made Kaden crack a small smile.

"Fine-" Much to Kaden's dismay they really didn't want to go home, they were afraid to fall asleep.

The moment Kaden was out of sight Bobby decided to call Ronnie and give him the heads up that his dear partner seemed out of it of sorts to which Ronnie was quick to make his way over to Kaden's place after hanging up the phone with Bobby. If anyone could figure out what was eating Kaden up inside it was Ronnie.

Kaden got home and unlocked their door, kicking their shoes off inside and trailing to their couch. They plopped down sideways and stared ahead they felt terrible, not due to sickness but because of their own mind. They had a rather terrible dream that turned their stomach and kept them up all night afterwards, they were avoiding Ronnie today too which really sucked but their mind was playing tricks again and telling them things.

Kaden couldn't get lost in their thoughts for too long because they heard a knock on their door and judging by how the knock sounded, they knew who it was almost instantly. They groaned softly to themselves and slowly trailed towards the door. They gripped the knob and twisted, pulling the door open to see a very concerned-looking Ronnie at the door.

"Bobby called you didn't he?"

"Yeah, he told me you didn't look so good.."

"I'll kill him," Kaden mumbled the sighed softly. "Come on in…"

Ronnie was quick to see that Kaden wasn't themselves in the slightest. They were usually spastic and talkative, rambling about the most mundane things in the world but they were always excited about something but, today they looked like they just received the worst news in the whole world and Ronnie's heart ached at the sight.

Once he got in he didn't waste time, he pulled them into a hug, a hug that Kaden didn't return at first but eventually did. "Hey.. tell me what's wrong.." Ronnie mumbled softly, pulling away from the hug for a moment to better look at Kaden and Kaden wouldn't even look at him. His heart sank, did he do something wrong? Did he upset them somehow? His face held a worried expression when Kaden pulled away.

Kaden trailed into the living room and sat down on the couch, Ronnie soon following after them to take a seat beside them, his hand reaching out to gently take Kaden's he knew that when they were feeling down or sad they liked the physical contact to remind them that he was there and present. He interlocked their fingers and gently ran soothing circles into their hand with his thumb.

"……did I do something?" Ronnie asked softly.

Kaden inhaled deeply their breath stuttering for a moment, they hated this feeling, they felt like they wanted to cry and sadly, they felt the tears prick and sting the corners of their eyes which only worried Ronnie more but he waited for them to speak, he wouldn't rush them.

"Am I insufferable?" Kaden's voice cracked a little and Ronnie looked at them in shock. "Am I bothersome? Annoying? Am I awful?" Kaden stared forward as tears started to roll silently down their cheek as they spoke. "Am I ugly and unlovable?" Their throat felt dry and they were afraid to look at him.

Ronnie felt an overwhelming sense of concern and heartache course through him as he was quick to stand, pulling Kaden up with him, the motion was quick but just as soon as he stood he sat again this time, pulling Kaden to sit on his lap, his arms quickly wrapped around them and Kaden let out a small choked sob.

"Sweetheart, no. Who said these things about you?" Ronnie pulled them close and they felt Kaden grip his shirt a little tighter.

"Y-You did" Kaden sobbed softly. "I had a really bad dream last night… You said I was hard to love and that I was disgusting and unlovable…I couldn't go back to sleep my mind kept replaying it and it was trying to tell me it was true and--"

"Stop," Ronnie said suddenly as he brushed Kaden's bangs out of their face before he moved to wipe away their tears.

"Kaden, listen to me- That was just a nightmare, you know deep down I would never say those things. Never. You're the most important person in my life and I love you. I love you as easy as breathing air." Ronnie's eyes met Kaden's and his heart felt like it wanted to shatter simply from the state they were in but he was determined to let them know how much he cared.

"You're not annoying or insufferable. I love it when you ramble and go on tangents about even the smallest things, you make the mundane feel exciting and adventurous. You're not awful.." Ronnie leaned forwards and pressed a gentle kiss to Kaden's forehead before resting his own against theirs "You're the most kind-hearted person I've met and you always try to find the joy and laughter in life. You bring happiness to everyone you meet even if it's in the smallest way possible."

Kaden listened to his words but couldn't help but let out another sob, their eyes closing but they opened quickly after when they felt Ronnie's hand on their cheek, their wet green eyes searching his and Ronnie could feel Kaden trembling in his arms. He wanted nothing more than to soothe their aching heart and reassure them.

"You're far from disgusting too. You're very attractive to me, you have the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen, they remind me of emeralds or spring days- You have the sweetest smile I've ever laid my eyes on, it's infectious." Ronnie let his hand slip down over their neck gently as it continued its descent it landed over their chest right over their heart. "You have the kindest heart, it's full of passion, light, and love."

Kaden had stopped crying, and their attention was fully on Ronnie, they felt their heart sink, they didn't know he thought all of these things about them, and they never knew how positively he saw them.

"I love your arms.. they give the best hugs...your hands, fit so nicely into mine.." Ronnie gently grabbed their hand, bringing it to his lips to give their knuckles a soft kiss. "I love everything about you. You have both inner and outer beauty and no one can compare to you or how I feel about you and nothing will ever change how I feel whether it's from a person or from a nasty nightmare. Always remember that I love you with my entire heart and if I need to remind you every single day for the rest of my life I will...You are everything I ever hoped to find."

Kaden let out another choked sob but this time they were smiling and Ronnie couldn't help but return that same soft smile. Kaden finally reached out, wrapping their arms around him to pull him into a tight hug that Ronnie quickly returned, his hand running gently up and down Kaden's back. "I'm sorry…" Kaden whispered softly as they nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

"You don't have to apologize. I know things inside your head can get a little tricky sometimes but please remember Kaden, you can always talk to me, you know I will never judge you or think of you any differently. I might not have all the answers but I can help ease the pain."

Kaden pulled back enough to look at him, their hand coming up to caress his cheek. "How did I get so lucky?" Kaden spoke softly, they leaned forward and gently pressed their lips against his to which he returned the soft kiss, it was filled with love and sincerity.

"Thank you.." they mumbled against his lips. "I promise I won't forget ever again…I know you got me."

"Forever and always sweetheart."

tags: @ama-ships || @heatobrienswife || @dragonsmooch || @lysandreslittlechatot || @retrojem || @kylars-princess

[saintsenara]

opinions on bill/fleur/draco, remus/molly, and a little gross, but in my opinion, a god-tier, superior ship- luna/garrick ollivander

i am absolutely shrieking at these, pal - not least because it's absolutely beautiful [i think...?] to find another person suffering from the lollivander delirium.

[or it's a sign that hell will never be in want of sinners to fill it...]

fleur delacour/draco malfoy/bill weasley

bill and fleur are demonstrably a hot pairing, and i am sincerely invested in the combined power of them overawing draco, who is canonically weak-willed and annoying and would, i think, rather enjoy being told that in a safe and consensual environment.

fleur's brandishing a riding crop and telling him to stop pretending to be the sexiest blonde in the country when he isn't even the sexiest one in the house. bill's demanding a lifetime of service [wink wink] in exchange for the whole "letting greyback into hogwarts" thing.

they're very happy.

remus lupin/molly weasley

i'm actually very taken with this one, on the basis of @whinlatter's excellent meta on lupin and molly's canonical relationship. as she notes, molly is the person who is there most for lupin in the period from the end of goblet of fire onwards - and lupin is someone whose life has been so unstable and so devoid of [above all] domestic comfort that molly's provision of exactly that is something which clearly means a tremendous amount to him.

i am on the record - as any good tomarry girly must be - that the series really overlooks the value of love-as-comfort in its prioritising of love-as-sacrifice, and that the transformational power of being warm and well-fed and appreciated is something which deserves more respect as a concept in fics.

molly being able to offer this to lupin really has the potential to be something quite beautiful - not, perhaps something epic and exciting, but something which is love nonetheless.

and, of course, if you're less inclined to sincerity/prefer your beauty laced through with mischief, you can just make it a sort of mammy-kink thing. slay.

luna lovegood/garrick ollivander

the three of us who back this ship are eating good!

my justification for it - as i've said here - is that i think luna's whole... vibe works best in ships which pair her with a condescending older man, in a trope used with great effect throughout the western literary tradition.

my belief is that luna and her eventual canon husband have a friedrich bhaer/jo march meets bella baxter/duncan wedderburn flavour, but i also think you can take it sadder and more messed up in a sort of maxim-and-the-second-mrs-dewinter or effi briest/baron innstetten way - and have her patronised to by and in thrall of an older man who has taken advantage of her transparent naiveté...

ollivander is a really interesting character because - as harry notes in philosopher's stone - of his slightly voldemort-ish attitude towards magic: that is, the idea that the character of magic [i.e. whether it is dark or not] is of secondary important to the power of the person performing the magic. i can definitely see him using luna's more spacey beliefs as a springboard for him to convince her of this worldview...

[eshtaresht]

holy. fuckin'. DAMN. I was pretty good at predicting the plot so far, but this episode proved that stampede is going in a whole new direction for real. spoilers for ep 9!!! (and manga a bit)

first of all, we still haven't got a full story of the great fall, but I think it's something they'll reveal in this season, probably during confrontation with knives. and still no scar reveal!! I'm angy but it's something that could be relevant to the standoff with knives, hope we'll get it

the piano scene... oh we're eating GOOD, it's just so wholesome but goes to confirm my theory that twins weren't completely fine on the ship. vash feeling useless because he can't do cool plant shit, knives envying vash for being good at human shit.... oh it's great

so glad knives is getting proper characterization and not just "he evil because he evil"! the fear, the hurt, the genuine care for vash, but then frustration with him – it's right there and I'm eating it up so yummy

the way they recontextualized vash's arm loss is GORGEOUS! I've seen ppl reading this scene differently, but to me it was an act of care from naï. he looks really scared for a reason: we see that the gate consumed all matter, including the hand. vash couldn't control it, so it would only grow bigger and destroy him. NAÏ REALIZED THIS AND SAVED VASH THE ONLY WAY HE COULD

he didn't want to fight him, this was not an act of anger, like in previous versions. all he cared about in that moment was saving his twin..... and what did he get in return? a gun pointed to his face. a gun he gave vash to kill human scum. oh, the DRAMA

ahem, now to the less intense stuff

homeboy has so much trauma, like, damn... how is he gonna fit any more from his impending epic brother fight...... I'm quite curious on how they're gonna characterize him in the next season. concidering that we're taking off earlier than previous versions, he might end up with the same unhinged vibe 98' vash had, as a coping mechanism (if depression didn't work, try dissociation and silliness). but then it would be even more interesting to see meryl's and wolfwood's reactions: they knew him before the accident and saw the big sad

vash has sense in the prosthetic arm, so it must've hurt when he damaged it... probably it hurts less than the real one, and it's clearly painless to take off. but the hand seems to be rather sensitive and fic writers are gonna go crazy for this

age reveal! also brad and luida being in cryosleep makes sense, I was racking my brain on how they're still alive. seems like they're using much more plant power tho... both for cryo and the vegetation, while in manga they tried to keep it as low as possible and send signals to earth

saw someone say that they're probably not doing that here because the earth is destroyed... could be that they decided to go the hard way. but in the manga the earth was still fucked, and it wasn't clear if they communicated with the ppl left on the planet or the fleet that was in some new place. what I'm saying is, there is a possibility that they are looking for help in stampede, we just don't know it yet

meryl was so cute! go off, comedy relief goofy girl, while you can, there is more trauma coming your way :3 yeah, enjoy roberto calling you by your first name... oh it would be such a shame if he gave you his derringer before his untimely death..........

pretty weird that nobody knows why they fell on no man's land, but ppl probably were too ashamed of their past and 150 years later the new generation is oblivious. also so funny that luida has to explain what vegies are..... they have so many plants but haven't see any plants

tbh I wasn't expecting the zazie twist at all, but I'm excited! they are SO gender in stampede, might be the best redesign in the series, love me a genderless bug creature with bold fashion choices. really cool to see that storyline adapted, it was barely touched upon in the last volumes of trimax

btw the multiple bullets story about a plant, worm and human who went around figuring out if their species could coexist and just.... creating this foud family and then building a town there all were equal...... that's my favorite mb story for sure

wolfwood saying "I'm not your friend"... I know what you are. and we got a "you'll have to decide one day"... oh oh the misery, but the context was lacking. it just doesn't hit the same when he isn't daring vash to shoot him in the most homoerotic way possible. on and he looks so goofy trying to ride with his cross

in the last ep's rant I assumed that luida lied about rem saving everybody for some reason?? but no, she actually saved them, I just got a bit confused

so, as I predicted, the gang separated (tho not because of vash) and by the end of the next episode vash'll be in july and meet naï. the poster, man.... that gorgeous futuristic city is getting obliterated for sure

btw vash's gate being opposite to knives and sort of a black hole is nothing new. but there are new layers to this, like vash willingly giving away energy, but destroying things against his will, and knives with the opposite of this. ying yan twins go brrrr

[foulbearobservation]

since you’re the camlilith blogTM, do you have camlilith fic recs?

me: oh I don't think I'm the gateway to camilith shipping

y'all: so as The Camilith Blog™...

anyway yes I do have fic recs gather round children, I've delved into the depths of the tag and emerged with the best of the best

let's start with casper's (@daisychainsandbowties) fics and then go from there!

by such slight ligaments are we bound: god like truly this is THEE Camilith fic of all time for me like. you all don't understand. lilith is so fucked up. camila touches her so tenderly. lilith gets her hair washed. she bleeds all over the fucking place. she completely disassociates. she bleeds all over the fucking place some more. she's gods specialest little soldier. she's gods most beloathed nun. she's my little guy.

thus strangely are our souls constructed: listen. listen. this is the rat fic. I hold it close to my heart. I adore it. Lilith's having a breakdown in a sporting goods store. she's bleeding out with beatrice in a hallway. they're in love. they don't realize they're in love. they're also not in love. it's a lot. lilith is a little in love with every woman who shows her any kindness. I can't wait to see where this one goes

a light, a blessing, or a bruise: the dishonored au!!!! dishonored au my beloved! (not a fic but check out whale's dishonored art pieces here & here & here they make me feel insane) this fic actually got me to start playing dishonored and the world is. so interesting. the way casper has translated the characters is FASCINATING. great fic I fucking love it.

okay that's all of casper's fics now let's go to some others shall we?

The bestie @thats-a-weird-warning-sign wrote Tenderness to you is only talk about a bruise which is just. so good. I truly don't know what else I need to say about it. lilith's brain melts out of her ears because of camila's strap. There's healing from trauma. there's more sex. listen. we all read the tags we all knew what we were getting into.

Shroomyystar on ao3 (I think they're @cranechel on here?) has some bangers. most of these are rated M or E, for good reason. they're darker or they're just abt sex so your mileage may vary based on what you want to read but they're all tagged appropriately!

like real people do: lilith asks camila to kill her and it's sweeter than you think, I promise.

light pink sky up on the roof: lilith kneels.

one bite of salvation in the dark: lilith kneels and also eats cami out.

there's also serenity which is a rly cute little fic abt camila just staring at lilith and I think it's very sweet we get this view of them cause I feel like lilith is the more common pov character

some other one offs!

Worship her sooner is my bestie Em who texted me one day like "do you think ao3 has a tag for sexy latin usage" and refused to elaborate.

The whole series of 1 Peter 4:8 is very good. this was before season 2 came out, and I'll just link the first fic here it's SO GOOD. Go comment and show some love to these fics, they're older so I don't think they got the attention they deserved.

golden hour is an avatrice fic HOWEVER it's set at camilith's wedding and the way ava just describes lilith as scary and whipped is truly so funny to me

And that's about all I have I think? I probably forgot something, and I'm very picky with fics to begin with so. If you think I missed something, add it in the comments!