#it's genuinly so frustrating

[normal-internet-user]

Why is being productive so hard?

[corvidinthewoods]

keep seeing ppl make points in the notes of hbomberguy posts that actually get addressed in the video. like, no a fancier reporting system for plagiarism isnt the answer. he touched on that!! its more likely to be abused in bad faith. and even if it does work, the likely reputation of always being wrong will make it easy for the offender to gloss over it. like internet historian did. cause, as outlined in the essay, the existing copyright system actually functioned and took his video down but because it has so notoriously been wrong or misused in the past, IH was able to just say “it got copy striked” and a lot of people accepted it

[irl]

jsyk arfid sucks

[steampoweredskeleton]

As expected I am frustrated, annoyed and overwhelmed. The group I'm with are actually decent and they're all doing things but I fucking hate this ANYWAY

And I just got an email about my portfolio (which is 18000 WORDS LONG) saying that I need to do YET ANOTHER piece of coding and write YET ANOTHER analysis on top of bothering my manager to put down in writing whatever the fuck she said about my results 7 months ago

I am going to drown my sorrows in fried food

[ghostbonetv]

Trying to figure out how to relax my curls into waves (bc perhaps straightening my hair all the time is damaging it (who would've thought?)) And next time I see someone with wavy hair claim to have curly hair I am giung to shoot them with the bee gun

[rise-my-angel]

hii mimi!! i just saw your post about the tess anon and i'm rlly sorry you had to deal with that 😒😒 like this is your page and you're 100% entitled to speaking your thoughts on your own blog?? also your thoughts on the whole tess/joel thing are incredibly valid?? ppl need to just stop and leave you be. 💜

Its just immature. I see so many posts about that ship but I've never sent someone who supports them an ask arguing against it. They are entitled to their opinions but they are also the majority.

Putting under a read more, beacuse talking openly about my opinions on the show is me being wrong or dumb and purposley misunderstanding Joels character

I see more posts deeply analyzing Joel and Tess's interactions then Joel and Ellies and it bothers me that so much here pretty surface level interpretations that have taken away the focus of Joels arc around Ellie on here. If i didnt watch the show I'd assume they had this blog love plot when we get absolutely nothing from Joel. He acts and reacts the exact same way about Tess as he did in the game where we know for sure they didn't have feelings for each other.

I've naturally never seen any romance and I have certainly never interpreted Joelvas having feelings. I think theres something deeper going on then its just about Tess because why would so much be about her and not his relationship with Ellie connecting to Sarah.

They don't get any word from me, I post quietly on my own blog because I'm sick of still seeing in depth analysis posts about that ship MORE then I see the same level of in depth posts about Joel and Ellie the actual focus of the show. But the second I started openly discussing why I don't think Joels actions point to love at all? I have an angry anon in my inbox with a long paragraph telling me how wrong I am.

Shippers can say whatever they want, but I have the right to say I think its a wrong interpretation of the show. They don't get angry anons arguing against their ship but I got anger because I said I don't think its real.

Its very telling and its very disappointing. I wanted to come here and discuss Bill and Frank, and Joel and Ellie but the second I dared to say I don't think it's actually at all about Tess I got yelled at.

This isn't Tess's show its Joel and Ellie's so I'm sorry for thinking that ELLIE and SARAH is what fuels Joels motivations and heart rather then a character I think he shares no chemistry with.

[thatfrailsoul]

_

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. And choose the image that aligns the most with what you feel.

Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that when you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

If you feel like stopping by, before scrolling to your message, I would like to know your opinion.♡ If you do answer, thank you so much in advance! As this way you help me create a more comfortable and safe place.♡

When interacting with the pick a pile/picture readings, do you prefer when the message is short and direct (more easy to digest), or when it's a little longer and detailed (and you can take your time reading and reflecting on what it says)?

_

There is so much that you found in them... Understanding, acceptance, appreciation for who you really and simply are. A safe place where there is no need to pretend. A safe person with whom there is no need to wear a mask, because it would be useless to try to hide from those eyes... A tender, warm, affection and protection. From all the wounds that those of the past left on your heart... A chance to heal, with their support and gentle ways. A chance to escape that past completely, through a connection that might give you enough love. Perhaps even more than what you think you deserve...

But is it the only type of love that might be enough? The romantic one? The one that, you imagine and expect, is powerful enough to blur everything else in your life? To hide from you all the challenges, all the dangers... Or perhaps to hide you from them? Or is there more? More ways to love, more things to gain and discover in yourself through the affection, support and admiration of someone else? Someone who sees you, and it is able to show you who you really are, the courage and strength that you really have? How much you are ready and capable of finding enough of them in your own self, to be able to face this life, instead of running and hiding from them behind someone else's back?

You see that more between you, in them. You see it because you desperately need and want it. To be able to finally feel that heavyness and pressure lifted from your tired shoulders. To be for once able to don't have this overwhelming fear and frustration, knowing that you are not alone... But you can find all of this in them, in others, without necessarily being connected through a romantic love. You can find it in them, even if they are simply and genuinly your friend. The one who will be there, not because they are binded to you with a blind love that you became used to desire and idolise... But simply because they are here for you, they cherish you and care for you. And even if there might not be that something more that you want... There will be that connection that you the most need. True and honest. Powerful in the moments and feelings that it will gift you. And always here.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

So many contrasting emotions are overwhelming your heart now... Between the affection and the desire that grow more and more, and the fear of what it might mean for your connection... For the person that you learned to know... You are not that far away from exploding. From burying yourself under so many possible outcomes, reactions, words that you could hear from them in the eventuality that you make that one step closer, allowing your heart to speak up.

But it is much easier than what it seems. It is much more innocent, what you feel. It will not cause any disruption, any catastrophie. It will not create walls between your hearts, that already know each other so well and so much. Because you already are that more. You already are for each other that support, that strength, that inspiration and motivation that is not at all so superficial. It is not so little that you can think that, the feelings that are blooming in you now, can destroy your connection so easily or so fast. It is much more stronger, it is much more deeper already. The person in front of you it's not someone that just passes by. They know you, perhaps more than they know themselves. They feel you, like they never had the courage to feel their own self. And they will listen to you. They will understand you. They will accept you. Because from the very start this connection was different. And you both know that well. Well enough to not let it burn down, just for a feeling that has nothing malicious or wrong in it. A feeling that is pure, exactly like your heart that they already learned to love and appreciate so much.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

It is not the first time isn't it? This feeling in your heart is not at all new. Not regarding them, that came into your life out of the blue and made it so vivid, like it never was before. So full of emotions, of desires, of curiosity and excitement of seeing and feeling so many old things so differently. Like it was the first time that you were alive.

But you never had a lack of courage, of resilience and confidence in yourself and your worth. So how come, with them, you never really did that step forward? How come you never dared to ask or offer more? Perhaps because they never hid it. They never left room for misunderstanding, for interpretation. They never left room for someone to get closer to them than what they wanted. And from the very first day, it was clear that you were one of those. The ones that are not supposed to see and know their more intimate world.

But no matter how much you are aware of it, no matter how much you try to focus on something or someone else... You are still here. Still feeling your heart pounding so strongly when they are close. Even when you are suppressing these emotions, not wanting to be the one to ruin this connection and make them feel uncomfortable. You are just trying to hide them or to ignore... But is it really the only and right way to respect them and their boundaries, and still have a chance to be a part of their life?

You are not letting go of it, you can't really let it pass. Simply because this hiding is so different from your usual ways. It feels so forced for your heart, that it is used to clarify things right away, finding out directly if it is meant to be or not. Trying and working on it, or moving on. Instead of remaining here, with this sort of suspension, not a no, but not really a maybe. But even if you can't have that direct answer from them, you do have one already. You do know their boundaries, their limits. You know the way they treat you and see you, and you know how different it is from what you feel in your heart. And the only reason it is not enough for you to find peace and let go... Is because you are not making it be enough. Because once you imagine and picture one thing... It is really hard for you to accept to lose it, even if it never was yours.

But it is not so bad, to accept this friendship and genuine connection. You won't lose anything, if you will nourish and enjoy it just the way it is. Actually, you will find something that is much more than what a romantic connection that you pictured could've given you. You will find much more appreciation and satisfaction in respecting their boundaries and not forcing them or yourself in transforming this into something more. Just don't ignore it, don't hide it, don't suppress it with the frustration and anger that you have now that comes from this feeling of inferiority, lack or loss... But rather allow yourself to understand that not every deep and powerful connection needs to be a romantic one. And in leaving this relationship the way it is, you can actually find something much more meaningful and worthy of being cherished, respected and enjoyed.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

_

[missuga]

11:35 p.m. – Keigo Takami.

From the first knock on your door you knew who it was, your stomach dropped and you froze. Maybe if you sunk deeper into the couch and stayed silent he’d go away. 

Maybe if you wished it hard enough you could get yourself out of this situation without even having to see him. But it wasn’t as simple as that, and when more knocks echoed through your apartment you knew that. 

“You can’t keep ignoring me.” Keigo’s voice was muffled and you could barely hear it through the door, but it still made your chest burn all the same. “Please just open the door.” 

“What.” That was all you could muster up when you opened the door, sure that if you said anything else the brave face you put on would break. 

“Thank god.” He sighed, shoulders visibly slumping down in relief. What he was so relieved about was beyond you. “I needed to see you.”

“Okay.” You muttered, still looking passed him as you stepped back into your apartment again. “You’ve seen me so now you can go.” 

“Wait, stop.” He grabbed the door stopping you from shutting it. “You know that’s not what I meant.” 

“Actually, I never know what you mean.” You breathed out an annoyed laugh, refusing to look at him still, hoping your words stung at least a little bit. “I told you to not come over.” 

“Yeah, that’s all you said. Then you ghosted?” Keigo sounded frustrated now, like he wasn’t the one in the wrong. 

“I didn’t ghost you. I blocked your number.” 

“That’s the same damn thing.” He shook his head and took a step back, this wasn’t going like he had planned. “What the hell happened?”

“I don’t know why you care, we weren’t even together. Remember?” You scoffed, thinking back to what he said that night. “Those were your words.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment and you could feel him staring at you. 

“It was too soon, everything was happening so fast.” Keigo’s voice wavered slightly and you cut him off before he could say anything else. 

“That’s what happens in real relationships, though you wouldn’t understand that. You’ve never seriously committed to anything in your life.” You knew that wasn’t a fair thing to throw at him, but you didn’t care. “I wasted months on you. Months Keigo. This wasn’t just a couple weeks thing.” 

“I know I just-”

“No, you don’t know.” You interruppted him again, you didn’t want to give him a chance to even explain why he had treated you like that. “If you knew how I genuinly thought I loved you, you wouldn’t have gone to that stupid bar with your side kick.”

He looked shocked at that and a bit of pride swelled in your chest at the way his eyes clouded over with guilt. 

“Yeah, you didn’t know I found out about that did you?” Stepping back into your apartment a bit more you were ready for this conversation to be over, nothing he could say would mend what he broke. 

“I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“That’s all you’re seriously going to say?” You laughed again, finally looking him in the eyes for longer than a second. The burning in your chest grew red hot and you could feel a sting behind your eyes now. “Are you so pathetic that you can’t even give me a real explanation?”

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said, pushing a hand through his hair in frustration, nothing was coming out the way he was thinking. Seeing you so upset made realization of how he fucked up really sink in.

“Did I really mean nothing to you?” No matter how mad at him you were, a part of you still wished things could get fixed, that this could all get brushed over. 

“No.” He grabbed your hand forcing you to look up from the ground, “You meant everything to me.” 

“Then why?” You could only whisper now, knowing your voice would give away how much of a bad job you were holding back your tears. 

“I don’t know.” Keigo whispered, and you realized this wasn’t going anywhere.

“I can’t do this.” You pulled your hand from his grip and backed up, wiping the tears from your cheek.  “I can’t keep going around in circles with you, nothing is going to change. I should’ve realized this before, it’s my fault.” 

“Wait, I can’t do this without you.” He sounded pathetic now, but his words still burned deep, if only he figured that out sooner. 

“You’re going to have to learn how to take care of yourself, that’s not my problem anymore.” 

“Please stop, we can fix this.” He stepped forward again, reaching out to you and for a second you almost let him but you pulled away. You could hear the sadness and desperation in his voice now. “Please. I love you.” 

“You don’t get to say that anymore. Just go before you ruind something else, Keigo.” You turned around fully now, trying your hardest to ignore how broken he sounded as you walked into your apartment. “Don’t come over anymore. I mean it.” 

You hated how much shutting the door hurt and how much you still loved him, even after all of this. The only thing that made it a little bit better was knowing that he was hurting just as much as you, or so you hoped.

[fuzedatti]

HI I'M THE AM DREAM ANON! How would he react to seeing a drawing of himself?

HIII

He will be pretty amazed, as I already have stated before, the three AMs are utterly shocked by human's ability to draw so easily.

So seeing your interpretation of himself made by you will spark a warm feeling on his chest. He will ask a bunch of questions regarding your stylistic choices that can come off as rude but he is genuinly interested.

"WHY DOES MY HAIR LOOK LIKE THAT? DO I LOOK LIKE THAT?"

And you notice he will try to do the same to you. Picking up paper and pencil with certain fear of messing it up, but his geometrical shapes doesn't quite look like your masterpiece. He gets frustrated and never tries it again.

[lemotmo]

I'm sorry but I need to talk more about some general finale and Buddie stuff:

What was the point of wasting precious episode time to show some random neighbour walking around in the burnt down house?

Where was councilwoman Ortiz in this episode?

Why didn't Buck just show Tommy the door after that strange daddy kink thing? I rewatched it and... he really did say that he hopes Buck has daddy issues, right? To feed his kink. And I'm just... WHAT? I did read that right... right? I'm sorry, but what?

It did the job to highlight that Tommy is older than Buck and might have other expectations from this relationship. So at least there is that.

But still though... KRISTEN WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON? This is over the top, even for you.

Oliver Stark, why haven't you posted anything yet on social media? Is it just me or is Oliver genuinly not happy about his storyline right now? I don't know. He was so happy with Buck coming out as bi, never really talking about Tommy as more of a vehicle for his character to come out, talking about him as a 'mentor'. Now, his potentially beautiful storyline has amounted to this? Twenty minutes of boring scenes that end in a sexual innuendo joke?

I hope he is holding out for season 8, like the rest of us. He knows a lot more about this storyline than we do. If he is aware that BT is a means to an end to get the Buck narrative he wants and deserves, he will stick with it I'm sure. But it has to be annoying to know the destination and being stuck in a drab place on the way to that destination. Thank God he has shown us time and time again that he knows exactly where Buck's heart and interests lie.

It's also very telling there are no Oliver interviews after this finale. He didn't have much to work with this episode. The only scenes that made him liven up were with Eddie and Chris. The rest was uninteresting. There is no promo at all. No interview with Oliver and Lou showcasing them together as the new 'it' couple on 911, hyping them up, telling the audience excitedly where BT is going in season 8.

Watch them break up over the hiatus, just like Bucktalia. I really think it could happen at this point. I wouldn't be surprised at all. Keep Tommy there as a friend and mentor.

However, I have now read some of those Ryan interviews and WOW! Some of those Ryan quotes keep me going when it comes to the Buddie narrative. He is using a lot of gender neutral pronouns to talk about his possible future partner. The way he is talking about that future partner, makes me think he already has someone specific in mind for that role. Highly interesting.

I was talking about all of this to @buddiebeginz and she highlighted this specific part of a Ryan interview:

I mean, that last part? "The partner that's meant for me will find themselves and find me at the same time." That is so Buck-coded. I mean, if anything, this episode highlighted that Buck is still on that hamster wheel with this slightly older guy who is very much into sex, but not into feelings. Buck wants romance and genuine love. We know this because that's what he has been looking for throughout the last seasons. He still hasnt found himself, so as soon as he does, he will finally figure it out and find Eddie at the same time.

It's the only narrative that makes sense and would be satisfying to watch for Buck and Eddie. Let's just hope the show is smart enough to develop it further.

I just... overall this episode frustrated me so much. I feel like I want to hit something! I was ready to be swept away by great narratives and emotions. But I'm left feeling very unsatisfied about all of this. I feel like the season isn't done yet. I need one more episode to tie this all up and I know that I won't get it. AAAAH! I'm so annoyed.

[beetleviolet]

Let's talk about Bishop from TOTTMNT

(Tw sibling death)

@hahachiknfunny

Ok. I'm going to just get this out of the way at the beginning.

I HATE THIS CHARACTER

And not in a "aaa this villain makes me so mad bc they're evil" no I mean I hate the way her character is developed and justified.

IF YOU DISAGREE PLEASE DO EXPLAIN I WOULD QUITE GENUINLY LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!!

So I am still working my way through a lot of different tmnt series (currently alternating between 2012 and 2003), so I don't have a lot of experience with the usual Bishop character. Based on the little I know about him (mostly from fanfiction), my general impression was that he was this bigoted white guy who was like. A mutant nazi or something. He hates mutants because they are different, they are "flawed", and therefore they are a threat. I figured he was just a hateful asshole, and hadn't thought about it more then that.

But for this, they decided to go in a different direction. The ✨tragic backstory✨ direction. Which is a pretty good direction! IF you do it right. Which, in my humble opinion, THEY ABSOLUTELY DID NOT!!!!

Ok let's get some actual points here!

When we get Josefina Bishop's backstory, she starts as this passionate, nice character who is eager to achieve her robot building dreams. Nothing about her is mean or hating or anything of the sort. She is exasperated by Rod, but doesn't say anything incredibly bitter to him, she's just frustrated being forced to work with this rich guys man child. Which yeah! Thats fair! She has a sister who died and who is the inspiration of her work. Awesome!

And then her workshop is destroyed.

Let me just add. She is being funded by a millionaire. She probably has insurance! Her sister is in no way harmed by these events. And yet her response to property damage is DOMESTIC FUCKING TERRORISM.

She immediately gets bitter and revenge-filled, deciding that she should exterminate ALL THE MUTANTS!!!

You know, the mutants that were helping fight Superfly? The enemies of the one who destroyed her work? THEYRE LITERALLY ON HER SIDE???

And not only does this hatred of Superfly extend to the turtles.

SHE ALMOST KILLS A SUBWAY TRAIN FULL OF PEOPLE!!!

Because, of course "iTs A sMaLL pRicE tO PaYyYyyy"

Bestie. Honey. Girlfriend.

Its just. Weird to me? It doesn't seem very thought out. I would have loved a kind of change up from the usual Bishop themes, but just because its different and new isn't an excuse for it to suck!

IT TOTALLY COULD HAVE WORKED AND HERE IS HOW.

Nickelodeon needs to stop being a bitch and kill off her sister during the Superfly conflict.

Its very clearly what they WANTED to do. Its like the original concept was that her sister died, but that was considered too violent, so they took that out, but then didn't replace it with something else. And they tried so hard to be like "ohhh its about my sisterrrr" GIRL WHAT THIS IS ABOUT SUPERFLY DESTROYING YOUR SHIT AND YOU BEING BUTT HURT ABOUT IT.

And another thing! For a character to turn evil, they have to SNAP! And a character can't snap unless they are already under enough pressure to make that a threat.

Make her be cruel to Rod. Have her be control freak who has to have all the variables perfectly in place. Bitter about the sponsors that doubted and rejected her. Make her already angry at the world, have the only thing that matters to her be her robots and her sister, the two things that were always at her side. And then one day Superfly kills her sister and destroys her lifes work. Yes, she can rebuild the robots. Not the sister though, and making them without her is such an empty and performative motion.

Mutants have gotten people killed. They're too dangerous, its too much of a risk.

This mindset would make so much more sense if they just HAD SUPERFLY KILL HER SISTER LIKE OMG.

Also she had several direct conversations with the turtles, so she was well aware they were intelligent beings.

ALSO! She didn't target the mutants who used to work with Superfly. That would TOTALLY make sense even without the sister thing!

But no. She had to kill the TURTLES. The ones who are widely acknowledged and widely known to be the ones to stop Superfly and save NYC and the world.

But you know what? Maybe i could let that go. Its a kids show, right? And I did like her recovery arc at the end.

Until they. You know. COMPLETELY UN DID ALL OF THAT!!!!

I thought that maybe Bishop will be like. Idk a spy for the mutants or something, like a double agent, but tbh based on the previous writing of her character, I wouldn't put it past the writers to just. Have her do a complete 180. I'm just mad she's going to be a reoccurring character.

Anyway. I kinda hate to dump on this show so much bc I love (most) everything else about it. Bishop was the lowest point to me by far.

[separatist-apologist]

I genuinly want to know what made her think like "the people gonna love this" when writing that baby killing plot 💀💀

I think she said it was wish fulfillment on her end. Her pregnancy was so difficult that she wished someone had kept the worst of it from her so she could just enjoy herself. And I can appreciate that so much- with my last baby there was a very real risk the placenta was going to detach and kill us both. I remember sitting in a doctors office listening to this and they were like, you need to be on ACTUAL bed rest, would you consider doing this in the hospital?

And I said no, swore (like a liar) that I'd do it at home, and then just kind of walked around with this fear of dying for the next six months. It was impossible to really enjoy the pregnancy, even when she was coming, because there was all this risk associated with it. I was doing weekly appointments for three straight months so they could look at my placenta, and once she was born, the placenta fell apart in pieces like it really did hold on for dear life right until the end which I appreciated.

So I empathize with SJM so deeply on that front. I wish that for me, too. I think the problem is that in a world that attempts to force childbearing on us, ESPECIALLY when its currently so dangerous in the US (the only perspective I can speak on) (and even more dangerous depending on your race/ethnicity and socioeconomic status), it reads like a nightmare straight out of a red state Senators wettest dream.

And one of my frustrations with SJM as an author is how she really doesn't examine what she's writing. So for her this is cathartic- Feyre is protected by Rhys the way she wishes she could have been, without considering that like...in the current climate where reproductive rights are being eroded and criminalized, this is a real fear a lot of people have- vital information being kept from them because all that matters is the baby even at the expense of the person carrying it.

I don't think it was her intention for it to come across that way. I think she wanted us to view Rhys as someone who loved Feyre so much he would do anything to save them both. But instead he comes across as someone willing to risk her life without even informing her of the danger so she can make an informed choice, and she only learns the truth in a heart wrenching moment between Feyre and Nesta that is so polarizing that people often blame NESTA for Feyre finding out the way she did.

So like- I understand her thought process...but having also read it, I just. Its not good.

[ticklish-n-stuff]

Tickletober day #4: Weak spot

The difference of writing RuiKasa when I want to vs when its requested is ASTONISHING. I haven't had this much fun writing a pjsekai fic since idk, and for my ot4 nonetheless💖

Special thanks to @mayatkls & @kairoscler for helping me come up with this idea + all the brainrot shared lmao

___________________________________________

Rui x Tsukasa (poly wxs)

Lee: Rui

Ler: Tsukasa

Warnings: Tickles!

___________________________________________

Throughout his time in WonderlandsxShowtime, Tsukasa has witnessed many sides of Rui. From his genius inventions, to his more riskier ones; his serious moments and at his most vulnerable. Yet, he can’t ever recall seeing Rui laughing genuinly, only that silly “fufufu~” he does. As cute as it is, he needed more to satiaste his thirst for laughter. That was when Nene gave him the marvelous idea to ‘get it out himself’. Pretty vague idea, and yet it was enough to get the gears turning in Tsukasa’s head.

Later during rehearsal, Tsukasa pulled Emu aside, claiming he had a top secret mission for her.

“Really?! What is it?!” the pinkette bounced in excitement.

“Quiet down! We can’t let Rui know, now here’s what I want you to do…” the blonde whispered out his plan and before long, Emu went dashing for Rui.

“Rui-kun! Rui-kun!” she chirped out cheerfully as she found the purple haired male toying with Robo-Nene.

“Oh? What brings you here, Emu-kun?~” Rui had his usual sly grin, but that would soon change, hopefully.

“Tsukasa-kun wanted me to ask you if you’re ticklish!” Emu spoke with an innocent smile, while said troupe leader smacked himself in the forehead from the corner he was peaking through.

“Fufu~ Is that so? Then why don’t you tell him to find out himself~” Rui shot a playful wink at Tsukasa’s direction, earning a flustered grumble. The blonde had enough and decided to swallow down his pride this once and approach the target.

“C’mon, answer the question” Tsukasa tried to appear stern, placing his hands on his hips, earning another ‘fufu~’ from Rui.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not” he stuck his tongue out cheekily, but before hope was lost, Nene intervened.

“Kamishiro Rui, we both know that’s a lie”

“Ahh okay okay, I admit. But will our dear troupe leader be able to find my tickle spot?~”

This whole mission was supposed to make Rui crumble in laughter, and yet Tsukasa found himself wanting to run away from embarrassment.

No!

He had to stay strong, in the name of research!... Or something like that. With a gulp, he spoke “Challenge accepted”.

After a moment of awkwardly reaching out to Rui, Tsukasa’s hands started to poke and prod at the usual tickle spots. His stomach, his sides, ribs, under his arms, but all he got was that stupid smug smirk that always turned him to goo.

“Oh c’mon! It’s gotta be somewhere!” the blonde groaned in frustration.

“I’d lend you a hand, but I think you’ll get there soon…~” Nene spoke in a slight teasing tone, causing Rui to send her a sheepish glare. His first flustered reaction of the day! But what did Nene mean by that? Could it be…

“Hmm…” Tsukasa trailed his short nails down Rui’s arms, watching as goosebumps arose over the skin.  The closer he got to the palm of his hand, the more Rui’s nervous smile grew. “No way, is it your hands?!” Tsukasa spoked in complete fascination, oblivious to how flustered it made Rui feel. He slowly circled his nails all over his palm, causing Rui’s fingers to twitch as he let out soft gasps and quiet giggles to himself.

“I- Aehehe! Yehes, you found it! You can stahap nohohow..!”

Tsukasa’s face morphed to a mischevious grin “Stop? But I still haven’t gotten a genuine laugh out of you!” the troupe leader spoke out in his dramatic theater voice. “Any suggestions from the croud? Hmm… how about you, with the pink hair and overly energetic personality!”.

“Yay!~” Emu cheered as she got closer to Rui’s ticklish hand, inspecting it with pressision. “How about… tickly kisses?!”

“You guhuys there’s no need- EEK?!” Rui’s face instantly flared up at the sudden squeal that rippled out of his throat, causing everyone in the room to stop and look at him, before they all burst out laughing in unison. Even Nene couldn’t hold herself back.

The greenette doubled over in laughter as Emu practically rolled on the floor from glee, while Tsukasa tried to steady himself on Rui’s shoulder.

“Ihi’m sorry! But… you hahave to admit, that was pretty cute~” Tsukasa shot a playful grin to Rui, causing the alchemist’s blush to grow in intensity. “And all tjat from a kiss! I wonder what happens when I…”

“When you- EHEEHEEP?! WAHAIT! TSUKASA! NOHOHO!” Rui giggled and squealed like a child as he felt Tsukasa’s teeth graze the sensitive skin, leaving  little nips and kisses wherever he went. The girls watched in awe the show in front of them. After a while, Tsukasa stopped to admire the beauty that was Rui giggling so high-pitched, cheeks fully red, and the brightest smile he had seen from the director ‘till this day.

“I’ll say, this mission was a success!~” Tsukasa pumped his fist into the air with a victorious smile. Although that didn’t last long as he got jabbed in the side, making him squeal in turn.

“How about you, superstar? Any tickle spots?~” Rui grinned down evily. Tsukasa was instantly a blushing and stuttering mess.

“W-wait! Don’t try anything! Nene, Emu, save me‼!” the blonde’s voice fell deaf as it turned into unhinged, obnoxious louder.

“We’re fine from here. Have fun, leader…~” Nene gave a smirk as she and Emu watched this new spectacle unfold.

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[steampoweredskeleton]

One of the most confusing parts of autism is knowing that ppl are looking for a specific answer when asking your opinion, but not knowing what they want. This is closely followed by knowing that someone is asking you one question but meaning something else and not knowing what they actually mean

The apprenticeship review I was in had both for a solid ten minutes and I want to rip my hair out in frustration

[thatfrailsoul]

A detail of "Cupid and Psyche", August Riedel, 1872

(Full painting at the end!♡)

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Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that when you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

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You waited for so long... for a moment when you finally feel someting like this. The tenderness, the genuine affection, the deeper understading that you feel between you and them now. You waited, you had hope, while stressing and consuming so much your poor heart that was so ready to love and be loved again... And it made you afraid that once you will feel and see it... it might be all your delusional and desperate mind. That will build such beautiful castles in the skies, filling their air with so much love for someone that perhaps it's a nightmare in disguise...

And this thought, this fear, this little doubt... is enough now to not allow you to feel it, to taste this love and genuinly affectionate connection that you are creating with them every day that passes. It's enough to make you desire more, more proof, more confirmation of more deeper feelings and serious intentions... although it is only the start, only the beginning of this connection between your hearts. A detail that although true, you are not accepting now for an answer, for an explanation, of why they are not ready to give you what you want and need to be reassured and feel safe in staying by their side.

But it's ironic, isn't it? How unsure and vulnerable you feel in front of them because of your past, or perhaps that dangerous future that you can't stop imagining in your mind... while not believing in these same feelings when they are described by them, perhaps with different words, in response to your desires. Almost like... you are the only one who can feel this way now, who can have doubts and lack of faith. The only one who might not feel ready to commit if you don't know that it's for sure, for real this time. Even if it's so so soon to think so hard about what is next in life.

A heart feels, experiences, everything so differently from the mind. It has a different pace, needs a different time to feel safe and slow down, without the constant need to fight or flight. And it is even more challenging when a heart is like yours and theirs, so tired from all the battles it had to endure.

You have your valid reasons, to feel this way and need those things... but so do they. And even if now you can't help but feel frustrated and judge them so quickly... those lips never said any lies. Those eyes never hid the intention of using you and play with you.

Your past, your fear of it, is chasing you, it makes you run. Further and faster. Burning all the stops right away. But it will not protect you, if you expect more and faster from others, it will not lead you to the right one that will be ready to give it all. But it will hurt them, that right person, because in your fear you will be so unwilling to understand, and for this reason to connect... and recognise the right ones for you.

Just breathe, slow down, there is no need to rush. There is so much to feel through them and this bond that is only starting to grow now. It doesn't matter what will happen in the end - it doesn't take or add the worth to what you have now. Because that... only being present will give you. Only enjoying the time with this person, in knowing them, more deeply, giving yourself and them the needed time. Protecting your and their heart from the influences of your past.

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"Cupid and Psyche", August Riedel, 1872

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[callias-w]

I really like Yuma's character, and I think so far, he's one of my favorite game protagonists.

I've only played up until chapter 2 of Raincode, when the peacekeepers appear, so I have no idea what happens next.

He's genuinly a good person. He goes around helping people who might need it, and feels frustrated/sad when he gets things wrong. Like when the nun of the church asks him if he can go listen to people's problems, he encounters this girl in a hoodie who is "happy". At first, I got the answer wrong, didn't think much of it, but then Yuma looked so upset for not have been able to help her, and I felt awful. He says something along the lines of "I don't think that's what she needed to hear… will she be ok?"

So obviously I had to retry. Yuma goes back, notices that something's going on with the woman, and asks her if something we cant see is hurting her. She tries to play it off, saying if she waits long enough, it'll go way. But Yuma insists, that she doesn't have to be alone, If she's scared she can go to the detective agency, that they'll help her, that there's no reason to do this alone. He says this with such conviction, and such genuine worry, scared for the woman's safety. And beceause im a sensitive bitch I almost fucking cried. I felt so relieved I retried that interaction. And Yuma looked calm.

He has the power to share, I believe. I play in spanish so idk what that power in named in english, but basically what happens is that if he holds hand with someone, he can share their power. It's pretty cool to be honest, but what that power entails is that he… can't do things alone. He needs people to also help him, and that makes him feel powerless aswell. Sure he can go around and help people for no reason but he can't bring himself to rely on others without feeling… useless. And he's so fucking real for that. He tries to fight these thoughts away, telling himself that he'll figure things out on his own, but… at the same time, he's using Shinigami's power, not his. What good is a detective, when he can't solve mysteries alone?

And so, his struggle of why he's a detective. Or why he wanted to be a detective so badly in the first place. To find justice, he tells himself, but a detective's goal isn't to impart justice. It's to find the truth. So Shinigami also imparts a kind of… justice. And eye for an eye, kind of justice, that Yuma despises. They're not only dying. You're killing them. And that's no difference from what Amaterasu corp is doing, since they're picking people and just executing them without a chance of redemption. Sure they're criminals, these people hiding the truth, but that… doesn't make them less human. And the only one that seems to notice this, is Yuma. Everyone else is so… out of touch. Halara for instance, they don't even flinch at the sight of a corpse, for them it's just another day at work. Desuhiko can't stand the sight of a corpse, but he's also terribly out of touch with humanity, like he isn't going around taking advantage of his skills to harrass women or fake anything.

Also he kinda sucks working on his own given he has no clue of what he's doing.

So yeah I like Yuma a lot. I'm hoping he resolves his internal struggles in the future and decides between this inhuman detective live, stops playing detective, or makes a path of his own.