#it's going into a corner of shame of my bookshelves that's for sure

[thedaughterofkings]

okay, I do need to rant

So I just finished this book - not naming it because I don’t want my rant to end up in any tags or search - and I’m mad and disappointed.

It was a humongous thing, almost 800 pages (according to a very quick search somewhere between 160k and 200k, I did read the German translation so probably even a bit more) and I saw it in my local, small, independent bookstore (this is important because it was also not cheap and it least that purchase supported them^^°) and it looked cool and sounded interesting so I bought it very spontaneously.

The premise is very much based on the power of translation and while I’m not a trained translator I did study English and have tried my hand at a couple of other languages as well, so a novel based in Oxford, about the power of translation and learning different languages sounded right up my alley. That it is a magical power, thus making this a fantasy novel, plus set in the 19th centry, making it a historic novel, made it sound all the better.

And man, did I want to love it. It has so many things I love, the premise is super cool (everything that gets lost in translation, those little secondary meanings that don’t transfer from language to language, has its own power, becomes magic in its own right, that is such a cool concept!!!), the cast should have been interesting, the setting fascinating (a tower of translation in the middle of Oxford, (em)powering the British Empire through the languages of those people it has colonised, (ab)using those translators from other cultures to further the Empire’s thirst for power and silver and world domination).

But for the most part it felt just ... sterile and then at the end - spiteful?

There is one main narrator for almost all of the book and I still cannot really characterise him. Never mind the 180° turn his characterisation takes at the very end, what irritated me most was that we meet him as a child and then again after a ten year or so time jump as a student at Oxford - and there was no difference!! Like, that’s not how you write a round interesting character, in my opinion.

The other main characters are hardly more three-dimensional, they seemed stock characters almost. There is the best friend of the narrator, whose death is part of what so suddenly transforms the narrator ( I have thoughts about that, but I don’t want this rant to be absolutely endless) and that’s about all he adds to the novel.

And then there’s the two girls, one black (?) with Haitian heritage and one white, English girl. And boyyy do I have thoughts on them.

Okay, I need to take a step back for this next part of the rant to have any hope of making sense: The novel is about translation, but mostly it is about colonisation, the British Empire and the consequences of both, especially for the countries, cultures, people and languages that have been colonised/stand in the way of furthering England’s hegemony. The novel is clearly, explicitely, relentlessly critical of that and rightly so. But it really is relentless - not only in its criticism of colonisation (again, very much agree with that), but in its pursuit to portray the culpability of every white character.

Some - many! - are very much culpable, but in their multitude, they become almost caricatures, to the point of loosing any real impact. They never have any motivation beyond greed and disdain for anyone not English and that makes it hard to care at some point. Why yes, another white racist, what else.

It’s most ridiculous in the white girl of the student quartett. She’s honestly the one with the most interesting characterisation - and still becomes a caricature at the end. She’s the only one of the group that is fully white and English, the daughter of a retired Admiral, and as much as the book makes sure to make clear how little she understands her friends and the racially motivated mistreatment and abuse they face - it also becomes clear how little the characters (or the book) care to understand her. She’s white and thus privileged and that’s it. She can never understand them and when she tries and asks, it’s annoying and self-serving. When she feels bad about how they’ve been treated, what they continue to face, it’s portrayed as egotistical and a selfish emotion. She gets one chapter from her point of view, and everything that that chapter introduces is summarily ignored for the rest of the novel. Instead, she becomes the ultimate villain, the one who will pursue her best friend to the end of the world to kill her rather than accept a challenge to her world view! (God, I’m so mad at how the novel treats her)

And ugh, I’m too much of a feminist for this novel. It feels like whatever the opposite of intersectional feminism is - misogyny is - you can’t even say second to racism, because it is made very clear that it doesn’t matter at all. Letty’s (the white girl’s) chapter is all about how misogyny has shaped her life, has almost kept her from being able to study, which was her biggest dream, and that honestly would work reasonably well as a motivation for her actions against her friends, but instead of digging deeper into this issue, the novel again sidesteps it in favour of portraying her as unable to change her racist point of view and thus turning from squeamish girl to ruthless killer in the span of a page.

Oh, there’s a scene of the girls being harrassed at a ball, but again, it’s only driven by racism, the misogyny is simply a vehicle.

In fact, in a turn that feels really spiteful, the only white character who sides with the characters of colour in the novel (the single white character, there literally is no one else who sides with them without having additional motivations) is the one female Professor who is portrayed as vehemently anti-feminist. And then she gets to die.

It all just rubs me really wrong.

Finally, (for now, I do have more thoughts) the novel is just ... long. It’s more scientific paper than literary novel for long parts and it just drags on - and I’m actually interested in the topic in question and in fact at least partially studied it myself! It’s all written so emotionless and mechanical that it’s hard to understand the motivation and supposed love of the characters for this field of study.

And then there’s the footnotes of course. They don’t know if they want to be in text commentary, or historical background explanation or fictional additional information. This might be a personal pet peeve, but for a novel that’s set in a clearly defined historical period, and which goes to great lengths to explain the changes made to the layout of Oxford for the sake of the novel, I hated how it mixed footnotes that were clearly fictional additional information and footnotes that might have given actual historical background. A historical fantasy novel doesn’t have to be historically accurate (if that is even possible) but I think that it should at least not muddy the waters of what is fiction and what is history unnecessarily. And this is now very much a personal pet peeve, but I just reread a children’s fantasy series which includes its secondary sources on the time period and the cultures portrayed in the novels - and if a novel about dragons and vikings can do that, how can a novel that throws around names and dates and quotes and actual historical events on pretty much every page not?!

I think that’s enough ranting for today, though my ask box is open, if you should happen to have any questions^^°

[mournings-stars]

Could I request an Alastor x reader? mostly smut, however i love fluff with aftercare and such

I was thinking the premise being of a reader who was and old friend from cannibal town coming to the hotel maybe? (cis fem reader)

hellohello! i personally don’t write smut for alastor but here’s a little fluff for you/how im comfortable writing for alastor!! its a bit of an ambiguous relationship but i hope thats fine :)

alastor x cannibal town fem reader (i may make this into a multi-part fic)

There was more than one reason Alastor brought Charlie to Cannibal Town — yes, it’s important she met Rosie, but he also had business to attend to while she did. He excused himself, heading down the street, several shops down, and into a narrow alleyway where he opened a hidden door to a small shop.

It was two small rooms and a back kitchenette. The walls of the first room were lined with bookshelves that made a narrow aisle to the back of the store. There, was an open seating area with sofas, armchairs, and a roaring fireplace across from the small register in the corner. It certainly wasn’t supposed to feel like a store where you had to buy something, but one where you could if you really wanted to.

“Welcome in!” A very sweet voice came from the back of the shop, a hint of an old, long-lost accent that made Alastor’s smile widen. “I’ll be right with you!”

“Take your time,” he hummed, and immediately heard shuffling from the other room before you stumbled into the front. “Hello, my dear!”

“Alastor!?” You gasped, lifting the hem of your skirt to rush over to him and hug him. He stiffened, a high pitched radio frequency sounding from his microphone and making you step back. “Sorry—“ You straightened out his suit jacket with a smile tugging at your lips as he watched you. When your fussing became too much, he placed a very calm hand over yours and gave you a gentle smile. You laughed under your breath and stepped back. “Sorry—“

“You said that already, my dear — and there’s no need to!” You nodded as he squeezed your hand before letting it go. “No need at all!”

“Right, right… How are you? Where have you been? I’ve… missed you.” Your excited tone dampened as you finished, clearing your throat and offering a smaller smile when it faltered. “But I’m glad to see you’re alright.”

“You were always too kind to me!” He said cheerily, walking to the second room to have a seat on the couch.

“Can I get you anything, Al?”

“Just a bit of precious time,” he said a little too sweetly, waiting for you to sit across from him. But you made yourself busy, pouring hot water over tea and preparing a plate of sweets for the two of you to share. “Tell me how you’ve been!” He said impatiently as he watched you go anywhere but toward him.

“Ah… where to start?” You hummed, leaning against the countertop. “I thought you might’ve…” You waved your hand dismissively, but as he’d gone missing just after an extermination, he understood and hummed along. “And since you never told me anything—“

“It was all so sudden, I would’ve left you a note—“

“A note?” You scoffed, but moved on when he nodded, going to get teacups for the two of you. “Anyway, I met someone.”

“Did you?” He sounded unimpressed, watching you get sugar and spoons; anything to avoid sitting down. “So quickly?”

“It took a few years.” He hummed along. “And it didn’t last—“ He laughed snidely. “—It felt very… wrong—”

“I'm sure,” he was almost too quick to say.

“And… They were exterminated, anyway.”

He looked very happy to hear that fact, but said nothing until he got his expression under control. “Shame,” he said, tone crass. “I would have loved to have met them.”

“I’m sure,” you repeated, throwing him a pointed look that he beamed at. “The years have become a bit blurry,” you continued.

“Have they?”

“I spend most of my time here, talking with Rosie. Missing you.“

“Ah, yes… You said that.” His smile dampened. “Surely you moved on?” But he was hopeful you didn’t, and he knew his hopes were answered when you stayed quiet and poured your tea. You remembered how much sugar he liked, and how much cream, not even bothering to ask before you put the cups on the plate and walked to the couches. “I always thought of you,” he admitted, taking the cup you offered, “but I could never go to you… I watched from afar.” He cleared his throat, sipping his tea and forcing his smile to stay put. “And I felt…” His eyes drifted to nothing as he thought back on those seven years. “Excruciatingly bored.”

You laughed. “Does that mean you missed me too?”

He narrowed his eyes, taking the plate from you before you could get anything else. “Why don’t you have a seat next to me?” He set the plate on the end table. “I didn’t come here to be served; I came to, finally, get the chance to see you again.” And then he offered his hand, and the small gesture of vulnerability made you understand that yes;

He missed you very much.

[cloudcountry]

music notes of the heart

Genre/Tropes: Study dates but its unestablished relationship? Floyd is flirting with you LMAO + Slow Dancing!!

Summary: Your tutor for musicology may not be other people's first choice, but he's yours.

Author's Comments: inspired by this tumblr post!! we truly do need more intelligent floyd content and i've already written for jade's dorky goofy silly side so many times sigh. also seriously, do not ask about the slow dancing merpeople rituals. you can infer. LMAO (@tinyletterz i hope you dont mind me tagging you but i was thinking of you when i wrote this bc yk. Floyd Leech. C:)

~~~~~

You set your books down on the table tucked in the corner of the library and sit down, shifting anxiously as you await your tutor. The smell of old papers and the sound of scratching pens from a few bookshelves away does nothing to dispel your nerves. If Ace and Deuce could see just who you’d asked for help, they surely would have yelled at you for hours and wrung out your neck in frustration.

It’s not like anyone else held the same passion for musicology, though. Besides, Floyd Leech wasn’t that bad once you got to know him.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, you think as he waltzes into the library, a lazy smirk on his face and his hands shoved into his pockets. His back is hunched slightly as he looks around the library, eyes scanning over each face with an almost predatory grin. You raise your arms and wave him over, trying not to make much noise to avoid being yelled at by the crabby librarian.

Floyd does not share that sentiment.

“Shrimpy!” he yells (honestly you don’t think he’s capable of yelling any louder) and bounces over to you.

He sweeps you into his arms in the blink of an eye, cackling madly as he nuzzles you. The librarian shoots the two of you a glare, and you shrink into his chest with shame. You’ll have to apologize to him later.

“Were ya trying to hide from me?” he breathes, sharp teeth on display as he grins down at your bundled-up form, “You know I’d sniff you out, right?”

“I wasn’t.” you protest, but it falls on deaf ears and Floyd squeezes you closer. His nose brushes against your cheek and he borderline snuggles you and you’re glad you’ve picked a table in the corner because if you were any closer to the center everyone would be staring.

“Alright Shrimpy,” he murmurs, setting you down in your chair with two quick taps on your head, “Ya said you needed my help with musicology?”

“I didn’t know who else to ask.” you say, sliding your textbook over to him with a furrowed brow, “You’re the best in that class and I can’t seem to grasp any of it.”

Floyd sits down next to you and leans in close, so close that you can smell the cologne on his clothing. You let him read through the notes you made on the sheet of lined paper you used to mark your page, gnawing at your lower lip self-consciously. You know you aren’t the best at this subject but it’s Floyd’s best, and you don’t want him to think you’re stupid.

He seems to be able to read minds because Floyd looks over at you with a pout.

“Shrimpy, I’d tell ya if you were stupid. So quit worrying.” Floyd scolds, snatching your hand up and squeezing it as he intertwines your fingers, “The fun thing about musicology is that you can analyze and learn from any angle ya want!”

“Freer subjects are harder to work with, though.” you confess, “I’m not sure how to go about...figuring something out when it doesn’t have structure.”

Floyd sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry as if to say “Boo, Shrimpy. Now you do sound stupid.” You can almost hear his voice.

“Just pick something and we can start from there. What kind of music do ya like?” he bumps you with his shoulder, a huge grin on his face, “Ya gotta have something.”

You answer him, and he makes an “ah-ha!” noise. He mumbles a page number and flicks through the textbook before coming to a stop at a chapter that goes into that exact type of music. There are music scores printed on the right page and some kind of tree diagram on the left one. You stare at the words incredulously, already lost.

“Come on now, Shrimpy. Work that tiny little brain of yours.” Floyd teases, jabbing your temple with a giggle, “I know you can do it.”

You swat his hand away and wiggle your hand out of his hold, feeling a foreign heat creep up on your cheeks. Floyd giggles again as if he knows, and leans in even closer to you.

“Hey Shrimpy.” he whispers, eyes gleaming in the corner of your vision, “I changed my mind, let’s ditch the reading. I’m getting bored. What are ya gonna do about that, huh?”

You’re not sure you can do anything honestly, but you expected him to leave pretty early on in your study session anyway. It’s a miracle you got him to agree in the first place.

“Oh, you can leave.” you offer him a quick smile and turn back to your textbook, pouring over the words, “I didn’t expect you to stay the whole time- Woah!”

You’re swept out of your chair but the second time that day, and your body thumps against Floyd’s. He stares at you with a cheerful grin as he takes your hands and places them on his arms. You jump a bit when his lanky arms wrap around your waist, but when he starts swaying slowly you get the idea.

“Let’s try something else, yeah?” he snickers, “Can you tell me why people slow dance?”

“Um...to feel emotional closeness?” you say, eyes glued to his rumpled purple shirt so you don’t have to look him in the eye.

“Bingo.” he chuckles, “Merpeople also have dances like this.”

You’re tempted to ask what those dances are for, but you don’t. Floyd sweeps you around and your feet lift off the floor for a second, but you don’t feel like you’re going to fall. Floyd squeezes you a bit tighter as he guides you, somehow avoiding any tables and chairs and bookcases with master precision.

“I didn’t know you could slow dance.” you whisper, “I thought you were more of a fast paced dancer.”

“Meh. Normally.” he shrugs, “But I like dancing like this with ya. It’s fun.”

Your heart flutters.

“Can ya tell me anything else about it?” he hums, lifting his arm and spinning you around. Your breath catches in your throat as he dips you, the arm carefully holding up your waist your only support.

“Um...” you stumble over your words, grasping for any thoughts as you stare into his eyes, “Uh, it’s- um, slow dancing brings people physically closer too? Because you can feel their movement and everything-”

“Good little Shrimpy.” he giggles, hoisting you back up and resuming his more soothing swaying, “See? You’re doing good. I told ya you’d figure it out.”

Did he? You don’t even remember.

“I think I need more instruction.” you mumble, eyes darting away once again.

Floyd laughs loudly at that, but this time you don’t care when the librarian shushes you.

[lilith-little-world]

Sneak Peek of Chapter One|| The Isekai’d Oracle||

This is very short and I will be posting more sneak peeks of the wip chapter and drawings of possible spoilers for future scenes. For clarification, this is a Sun Wukong x Reader, for each chapter my minimum word count is around 10k words, usually, I try to push for 20k. The most I had done is over 50k words for a chapter (still fucking proud of that). It may take a while tho. I will upload the story on Ao3, Wattpad, or both.

Also, this will be unedited and will have a lot of grammar mistakes. There are going to be huge or small changes when the finalized chapter, comes out. So enjoy the first part of the first chapter.

Summary: The reader was pushed beyond her breaking-point, and wishes for a new life. Not knowing, it had set in stone her destiny. Thrown into the world of the Lego Monkie Kid, she earns the title, “Fated Oracle”, who has returned to give her guidance. The bad news, she doesn't have a clue what's happening and regrets ever wanting a new life. Yet she decides not to change the ending but change the path towards it. Will she succeed in not having everyone go threw angst? Is it possible that the Monkey King will not fuck over any new friendships and have everyone mad at him? Let's find out if our precious reader makes the story all fluff or have it ruined by angst and pain.

The campus was busy as any other day. Students walked to their classes, and clubs doing activities or talking to their friends, everyone was enjoying their sunny and bright day. Then there was you, stuck in the campus library, quietly crying. Shame and embarrassment never hit you. Is it so bad to have a break from the constant shit the world dumps on you? Apparently, it is.

The students ignore your display of raw emotions. Nothing new, many students before you, would seek the endless bookshelves. To have a spot to cry in. It's the only area on this campus where the possibility of some alone time exists, even though it was public. 

When was the last time you took a break and just be yourself?

You sob while watching an animated show on your barely working laptop. The only thing comforting you on this terrible day. The 2D Lego characters act out the ending of the series. Well, for now, as the foreshadowing of season 4 plays. It had been a while since you had last seen the show. Rather busy with the fuckery of this year. You close the laptop when the screen fades to black. You stare at a random corner, letting your mind think.

The current enemy.

Earlier in the school year, you made sure to be on top of your classes and get good grades, only to fail. How did things get so bad? You did everything right, and chose the “correct path”. So, why isn't everything working out? 

A few faces pop into your head, almost in a taunting way. Of people, you can blame this unfair situation you’re in. Yet you didn't have the heart to do so. Still, your infuriated mind replays the memories of how this mess came to be. 

Midway into the first half of the semester, your parents had gotten sick with the flu. Sadly, you were the only child that had “enough spare time” to take care of them. It made you miss a few in-person tests during that small period but nothing your overall grade couldn't deal with.

Luckily, your parents had gotten better, soon after. The moment they were in stable condition, you had already packed your bags. Ready to go back to the college campus. Then life decided that it didn't hit you hard enough. 

Consequently, your mother had gotten into a small accident at work. The day you were planning to leave. Luckily, it wasn't anything serious, yet somehow, your help was once again needed.

However, what got you upset the most, is how the professors weren't sympathetic to your current situation. Refusing to allow you to retake the tests or projects. Next thing you know, the zeros started to pile up and destroyed your once-good grades. Even though you tried to stay on top of the online work or trying to be part of the group projects yet it wasn't enough. So now you're failing the whole semester because a sorry excuse for a professor wanted to be an asshole.

This was going to be your last year, but that isn't the case anymore. Worse, you don't have enough money left to redo the semester. Dealing with your family and school was stressful enough, but what took the icing on the cake was that you had to work during all this. Being a server for some rundown diner, working late nights. You went beyond your limit and still kept pushing forward. Naively thinking that things would have gotten better. 

You tried, and you failed.

What a cruel joke that is being played on you. If only something can whisk you away so you don't have to worry about this anymore. This isn't even the major you wanted to take but had done it to please your parents. Wasting your time on this damn absurdity, trying to play it safe. All because it was the “right path” to choose. Now here you are crying in a damn public library because you ruined your life. If only some greater power takes mercy on you and gives you a new life. A new start.

Then you'll make your own path to choose.

“Hehe, as if someone can be that generous.” You said to yourself. Closing your eyes, taking a breath. 

“I don't have time for this. I already wasted enough. I need to be at work soon.”

Quickly pulling yourself together, you put away the laptop in your bag. The world doesn't stop spinning for anyone, after all. Anyway, you can always postpone a good cry for later and you can rewatch the series anytime.

The sun was setting, bringing the cold night. You shiver from the cold winds, regretting not bringing a jacket. Regardless, being cold or not, you waited at the bus stop around the corner. A few others wait along. The minutes pass by longer than usual. Cursing to yourself when you realize the bus is going to be a few minutes late. Another misfortune event on this godfucking day.

The sound of loud rumbling breaks your negative mood. The bus slowly came to a stop, the brakes hissing. A part of you wanted to say fuck it and not go to work today. Nevertheless, your body automatically steps in and shows your bus pass. Already have the actions mesmerized.

‘Guess it won't hurt to be on autopilot.’

That quickly, you zoned out and let your body lead. Only to check in when noticing your stop and putting your bag in the break room. 

You put a black collared shirt on top of yours. Getting a hair tie out, you pull your hair back to a semi-high ponytail. It wasn't much but was better than being yelled at for not having it up.

“Alright, time to work and suck up.” You said, mentally preparing yourself.

This job was okay, depending on the night it was going to be. Either the diner is extremely busy or dead, and both are horrendous. Be stuck with countless people and their orders or have nothing to do for hours and get paid less for it.

You really need to find a better job.

“Come on sweet cheeks, customers are waiting already.” 

Not caring to give a response to the head chef. Getting the menus, you put on your best smile.

“Hi, welcome, hope your evening is going great! What drinks do you want?”

You scribble down and go back to the counter, getting the drinks on the tray. The bell on the door jingles, letting you know that more customers have arrived. 

‘It’s going to be a busy night, huh?’

The small restaurants slowly fill up, soon getting cramped. Luckily, other servers showed up so you didn't have to serve every customer. 

“Hey, it's your turn to clean the restrooms.”

 

“I'm a little busy doing my job.” 

Your coworker scowls.

“They can wait a minute or two. The restrooms can not.”

“That isn't my fault, Tom. My job was to wait tables, not clean the restroom. Also, we both know the customers can't for a goddamn second.”

You had never been on good terms with your coworkers. Since you like to mind your own business. Regardless, this person standing in front of you was just rude. Thinking he can boss you around.

“Yes but it's your turn to clean the restrooms.”

“Which I know, and I'll do it after I finish serving this table. You know since that's my job that I'm getting paid for, so it takes priority.”

The chef rings a bell. Tom just smirks at you. Rolling your eyes, you get the plates.

“Remember straight to the restrooms.” He said a little too cheerfully.

You hold back your groan and put on a smile. Placing the plates on the table with a group of people around your age. They chat away, talking about plans or stories. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming. You nearly get lost in it before remembering your job.

“Is that all?” 

They nod, not paying attention to your presence. You glance at the clock on the wall. Your shift was coming to an end soon.

‘Better get to the restrooms before Tom has an aneurysm.’

The restrooms weren't even messy. People would rather not use the small area, so it didn't get too dirty. You just swept and mopped, making the room smell pleasant. Didn't even take long before you finished. 

“Can't believe Tom made such a big deal out of this. I get that some people just like to be pricks but meeting so many in my life seems overkill.” You said to yourself while taking the bag out of the trash cans.

“Bet that fucker is having a good laugh. Hope he does, at least one of us is enjoying our night.” You dumped the dirty mop water down the toilet. 

Now you can end this night and go home. The broom and mop go back to the janitor's closet and take the bags out back. You stop and look at the employee parking. Tom had been bragging about his new car. You slowly walk to it, getting a good look. The car was nice, new, and clean. It also seems he left the door unlocked.

“Fuck it.”

You open the door and tore the bags open. The dirty toilet paper covered the seats. You left the bag there and shut the door. Trapping the putrid smell. A genuine smile finally stretched across your face. Entering back into the establishment, humming. You went to the break room and grabbed your bag. Pulling out your phone and headphones. Ignoring the other coworkers who were on break.

“What got you in a good mood? You looked like you were about to shit your pants when we talked.”

“Oh, I just saw a funny scene out in the employee's parking lot. Some bozo got their car trashed.” You said vaguely, glancing at the man whose face turned pale. He immediately ran out of the room. 

“Well see you all later, hopefully not.”

You left the restaurant before the chaos exploded. Only halfway on your trip back home when you finally got a phone call from your boss. You ignored it and tried to enjoy the bus ride. 

There weren't many people there. Good, you never liked how these things get so crowded. The bus was oddly going a little faster than usual. You didn't question it, trying to focus on your phone. Scrolling through your feed, until your screen starts to glitch, and words appear.

Welcome back…

There was a loud screeching that tore the air. As the world became a blurry mess. 

[glowingcowboy]

A Little Life: A Review by Me

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5

It took me two years to read but i finally finished it.

As a depressed person who also loves depressed people it spoke to me in a way I think no other work has ever been able to articulate the complexity of emotions that those roles entail. The want to have them be better. The desperation to keep someone alive knowing that they desperately do not want to be. The sluggish exhaustion of living when one does not want to. The dilemma of knowing that you are suffering, that every single day is exhausting and brings you only more pain but knowing that if you were to leave it would only bring pain to those you love. The dilemma of knowing someone is suffering in ways you cannot fathom and wondering if you are doing the right thing by forcing them alive like a life support machine.

I think. It paints an understanding picture of trauma, self-harm, and suicide in a light that is rarely ever considered but I think sorely needed. Sort of the way Euphoria tried to do with Rue, but because we don’t know her, people didn’t get it. A Little Life forces us to love Jude and root for him the way his loved ones do and when he lashes out when he hurts himself, it is understood that he is doing these things not because he is a bad person, but because he is desperate. Desperate and trying to distance himself, we will not be caught in the explosion when he inevitably self-destructs. When you feel the way Jude does you feel like a cornered animal that has to fight and bite and tear to escape. I understand.

Everything in A Little Life comes down to love- our love for friends family and partners. Life is measured this way. A Little Life is a portrait of Jude St. Francis in all his glory and downfalls and his life ends the way everyone knew it would - it is really a little life. Just a little sliver of the world. His world and all the people he touched. What is left when you die and everyone you left behind has to learn how to live again. What happens to those who are left behind when the rest are gone. It let me hope that maybe there was a chance that me and my friends could continue being friends until our old age. But I know how unlikely that is.

It was refreshing and also extremely hard to read which is why it has taken me two years to get through it. I had to keep taking breaks for reading it for weeks or months. I could understand why some may view it as torture porn but I think they forget the point- to show the pain and the triumphs of a life in all their hideous beauty.

At times it felt improbable- how much tragedy could befall a person. I remember I sometimes wondered how it could get so bad. Then I remember that sometimes that is just how life is. But it also painted a depressing sort of outlook- that people do not change. That who you are remains constant throughout your life and to some extent that is true. In my psychology classes, we learn that our personalities don’t change over our lifetime- they’re a constant trait pretty much and this book delivers that message over and over again with a kick to the gut. It reminds me that the hero's journey is not reality- people do not go through it. We simply grow and then we die and that is what happened in this book. There was progress, there was change, there was hope and setbacks, but at the end of the day, everyone was who they had always been. Behaviours could change but behaviour is not who you are.

I can't articulate everything this book made me feel but I know that it will occupy a special place in my bookshelves no matter what. It made me feel seen and pitied and shameful and joyous. As someone with a history of s3lf-h!rm and su!c!de related issues I could understand Jude- I too do what he does and there is no logical explanation there is only rationalization. I hoped he would get better- because if he could then surely I could. But that's not life. Life is treacherous and malicious and yes full of joy, wonder, awe, and love but these things do not change the fact that life is a tragedy.

Most importantly the book ends where it began. A life cycle complete, which is all we can really hope for.

When I started reading I was younger than them- the same age. Still in university and reading about their youth. When it ended they were impossibly older, ancient and unthinkably old. In their fifties and sixties and eighties. Much like them I cannot imagine living to be that old- and maybe like them, I will grow old despite it all.

Maybe, I too will have a little life- not terribly important but meaningful all the same.

[gaykai27]

11th Doctor x G!N reader

Females dni plz

Warning:mentions of self harm

I was scolding myself for doing it again when i said i would stop and spacing out so I wasn't paying attention and didn't hear the doctor calling my name as well as Amy, Rory, and River but then the doctor shook me and I snapped out of it "hmm what is it?" I say and they all look at me with a concerned look "are you alright you were spacing out" the doctor says as he starts inspecting me looking for any signs of ms being hurt and I start freaking out a little knowing sooner or later he would notice and I jump up and say "yeah fine just tired so imma go back to bed sorry" and I can see the disappointment on their faces since today was supposed to be a hang out day but the doctor had even more concern on his face "alright just tell me if you need anything and don't try to hide anything from me cause we all know I'll figure it out, now go on get some sleep" he says anyway and I nod and I see rivers face when I'm turning, she knows I know she does now I just hope she doesn't say anything to him he'd be disappointed in me "make sure to eat too you haven't eaten yet" she says when I'm almost gone I just keep walking and I walked straight past the bedroom and to the library I checked my pocket and I have my phone and headphones and so I grabbed the first book I saw and sat down put my headphones in and started the music then opened the book and started reading.

I finished the book and got another and another then by the time I heard it I had already finished five books I took out a headphone listening making sure it wasn't just my music already feeling on edge going over the many possibilities of what could have happened when I hear the doctor yell my name the worry in his voice makes me both anxious and relived that it was only him but when he yells again I decide that it might be best for him not to find me since I don't hear river ot any of the others and he might have found out and I don't want to see the look on his face so I'll just hide and wait until he forgets so I run up the ladder of the library and go out the door behind one of the bookshelves and run in the opposite direction of his voice with my anxiety getting worse with every turn of a corner thinking he will be there and finally I made to where I wanted to, the pool, I know I probably should have went somewhere else but I didn't know where so I turned off the lights made sure I didn't have any electronics on me and jumped in and I hid at the wall nearest the door so he has less of a chance of finding me and at this point I have tears in my eyes I don't know why I'm so scared but I do, the shame of having to admit to harming myself to him and having to explain it is terrifying and I hear him again "Kai I know your in the tardis she would have told me if you left now come on out I just need to see" and I could hear the fear and sadness in his voice it is what makes my tears start to come out of my eyes or it's the water burning my eyes but I don't come out of hiding cause then we will talk about it and that involves feelings and I don't like talking about mine, I find it embarrassing but when I look up I see him looking for me around the pool and when he sees me I can tell he wanted to just jump in and hold me but I swam to the other side and ran as fast as I could to my room he almost caught up but slammed the door in his face and locked it sitting against It and I could tell he slid to the floor on the other side "Kai please we need to talk it doesn't have to be face to face I know how you can get but please you don't have to do this alone I can help you and so can river and rory and even Amy probably could so please just say something I'll take anything at this point" the emotions in his voice make my heart ache for making him feel like that "I'm sorry" I whisper and I can tell he heard me because he let out a relieved sigh "you did nothing wrong emotions can be difficult and you found a way to deal with it even if it's not a good way" he says and I stay quiet knowing if I speak my voice would come out wrong and would give away that im crying "we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to but just promise me you won't do it again please" and I nod my head in response but then remember that he can't see me so I say "promise" and my voice comes out wavy and a little squeaky "can I come in now?" He asked after a while of silence I don't speak I just get up and open the door he gets up as well and comes inside my room and pulls me into his arms and we stay like that for a minute before we both silently decide to go lay on the bed and he starts humming something and so I ask him what song that is and he says "it's a lullabye from gallafrey, do you like it?" I nod my head and he keeps humming and I fall asleep thanking river since she probably told him.

[snailor-bee]

Revolutionary Army Helper

A request for @strawhat-bast! She wanted choking and stockings, along with a dominate Sabo. I hope I did okay dear! (✿◡‿◡) I tried for a different tone and it still kinda ended up sweet?? I am incapable of writing anything else apparently...(Also why is all my writing for you specifically over 4k? LOL.)

Sabo x F!Reader / NSFW  / 4.7k  Summary: Joining the Revolutionary Army wasn’t anything like you imagined.  Warnings: Almost getting caught, choking, public places. 

You’ve always wanted to join the Revolutionary Army. All your life, you wanted to make a difference. And this was the way you were going to do it. It had taken ages for you to find a contact that had an in with the army. You’d proven your worth, finally, and gotten passage to their home base. (In secret, of course. Blindfolded and a bunch of other safety precautions, you understood but damn that ship ride was crazy.)

It wasn’t all you thought it would be. Even if you had gotten to the base, you were still being tested it seemed. It made sense, they didn’t want any traitors in their mist but you were basically acting like a glorified secretary/cleaning lady. You wanted to help! Be useful! Instead, you were putting away books and cleaning the floor of the library. You sighed as you made your way around the room.

The ‘library’ acted as both a library with large bookshelves taking up the walls and space within the large room, but it also housed the classroom, long tables lined behind one another in front of a larger desk, behind which a chalkboard was attached to the wall. It was empty, as it so often was at this time of day while you cleaned.

Moving quickly, you accidentally brushed the corner of the main desk, and it brushed over your clit in a way that made you gasp. Pausing, you took another look around the room. It was still empty. A buzz went down your spine. You were always so exhausted when you went to bed, you hadn’t had any time to…take care of yourself. Placing the books down a little further away on the desk, you readjusted yourself on the corner. It was fine right? You were alone, you knew that. Maybe you could grab a little bit of pleasure.

Pressing your hands against the desktop, you started rubbing your pussy on the edge, and ohhhhh a shiver went down your spine. It really had been too long, even these teasing brushes were enough to get you in the mood rather quickly. Breathing heavily, you bent your knees slightly to get even more pressure. Would this be enough to make you cum? You weren’t sure, but you were willing to give it a try.

Someone cleared their throat and your eyes flew open in alarm. At some point you had closed them and not seen or heard someone come in!?! Embarrassment and dread welled up in your stomach as you hurriedly stepped away from the desk.

Sabo stood there, grinning playfully at you and your stomach clenched with shame. Of course it had to be the second in command, how else would this play out? It just HAD to be someone like him. You were getting kicked out for sure, or maybe even killed?! You felt like you might just die of embarrassment from the situation alone, maybe you could spare them the trouble.

“Well now, looks like someone’s been having fun!” Sabo commented gleefully and you clenched your fists.

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean—“

“Ah, ah! You did, don’t try to deny it. I didn’t walk into you ‘accidentally’ masturbating with the desk, now did I?” He even did finger quotes and you felt your face heat but shook your head. “No, I didn’t. Come on, let’s see if we can’t figure out something better than you abusing a poor desk hm?” He walked a few steps closer and your eyes widened in alarm. What?? What did he mean by that?

He seemed to recognize your hesitation and slowed. “Unless you weren’t interested?”

“Interested in what?” You finally found your voice enough to ask. Immediately his grin was back as he came to stand behind the desk. He gestured you closer and, feeling overwhelmingly confused, you took a step towards him. Easily he reached out and grabbed you around your waist and tugged you until you hit his chest.

“In getting some relief of course! I’d be more than willing to help out a pretty girl such as yourself,” he winked. “Again, only if you were interested though.” Your mind was in a whirl. What!? He wasn’t serious?! Sabo, the Sabo of the Revolutionary Army was offering to, what, have sex with you? The silence stretched, as Sabo stared into your eyes, seemingly waiting for your answer. For a moment, you got lost in his eyes. The blue within them so crystal clear, it was memorizing. Even the scar over one side of his face didn’t detract from how pretty you found them.

This was so confusing, you didn’t know what was going on. All you could feel was his body pressed up tightly against your own, the smell of his spicy cologne heavy in the air and your pussy twitched.

“I…would be interested,” you finally managed to spit out, pass the confusion. If he was offering, then you’d be a fool not to take it right??

Sabo smiled brightly. “Great!” In a single motion he had you pressed against the desk, back towards the rest of the room, still standing. Instinctually you grabbed onto the edge of it. Quickly his gloved hands went for your waistband, undoing the button and pulling down the zipper. You cast an anxious look over your shoulder at the room.

“Here?!” You hissed. “What if we get caught?” Sabo chuckled and the sound of it; deep and silky made you weak in the knees.

“You didn’t seem all that concerned just a moment ago, hm? Don’t worry I’ll keep an eye out.” He pulled down your pants and underwear in one smooth motion. “Step out of only one leg, so it’s easier to put on if you need to,” he instructed, and you easily stepped out of your flats and did as he said. Luckily you hadn’t worn shoes with laces today. Pants out of the way Sabo licked his lips as he slowly grabbed the tip of each glove finger on his right hand and tugged, before sliding off one glove and pocketing it.

He placed his middle finger on your lips. “Suck.” You blinked in surprise. His smile widened. “Don’t you want this to go by faster? If you take too long someone might walk in.” Quickly you opened your mouth and he shoved his finger inside, almost gagging you with how deep he got. He didn’t let you lick or suck yourself really, just pushed his way inside and used your mouth to coat his finger. Job done, he pulled away and saliva followed the finger.

Sabo hummed with approval before bringing his hand down to your core. He used the finger to circle around your clit before teasing the walls of your folds. You shuddered, the combination of his warm hand mixed with the chill of the room making this feel so much more intense.

“So wet already,” Sabo observed. “The desk was that good huh?” Before you could reply, he suddenly shoved a finger inside and you bit down on a moan. He only did a few, short thrusts before he adjusted the angle and started to piston inside of you. It was so fast, so soon, and you moaned. Sabo’s blue eyes stared at you hungrily, his blond curls framing his face so well. “Better keep quiet, if you don’t want to be found out,” he said and you nodded while covering your mouth with a hand.

He added another finger and you had to close your eyes. The intensity, and the fact that he was just staring at you made it hard to keep them open. You still had no idea how you’d gotten into this position to begin with.

“Think you can come like this?” Sabo asked offhandedly and you nodded through muffled gasps. “Hmm.” He didn’t sound convinced. A gloved hand brushed aside your hair and you jumped at the unexpected touch. Your eyes flew open, but Sabo had already leaned closer and before you could puzzle out what he was doing, bit you at the junction between your shoulder and neck, hard. At the same time, he curled his fingers and pressed against you in such a way that had you arching, orgasm slamming through you.

You were panting as he withdrew from your neck and his fingers slipped out of you. Instantly his fingers were back at your mouth. “Open,” he demanded and with the way you were already panting, didn’t wait for an answer as he shoved his fingers inside. The sharp tang of yourself filled your mouth. “Clean it up.” This time he waited patiently and didn’t try to gag you as you licked and sucked yourself off his fingers. Finally he withdrew and gave you a once over. You bet you didn’t look pretty, one pant leg still wrapped around your ankle, hair a mess, panting and flushed. Sabo beamed at you.

“Now then, that’s better isn’t it? C’ya!” He tipped his hat at you before making his way around the desk and walking out of the room. You stared at his back before the sound of the door closing snapped you out of it and you rushed to put on your pants. What the fuck was that?! You asked yourself with horror, as the taste of yourself lingered in your mouth. (Later on, you’d find a huge bruise on your neck to your chagrin. You hadn’t even had sex, nor had he sucked at the bite. He literally gave you a BRUISE from a BITE?? Crazy. The man was crazy.)

You thought maybe that would have been the end of it. Something weird occurred; you’d ignore the man, and he would ignore you and both of you would pretend this never happened.

That’s not what ended up happening. No, instead Sabo seemed to take your strange coupling as permission and would randomly show up to ‘assist’ you. It never went further than him fingering you or you giving him a blow job, all hurried sessions in abandoned rooms scattered throughout the base. But as time went on, his demands kept getting more and more…intense.

Which is how you found yourself on your knees, outside, sucking on his dick. He leaned casually against the rock wall behind him and watched you work. The wind blew and you shivered. Sabo had insisted you wear a skirt, without panties. He smiled, wickedness shining through the otherwise lovely smile.

“Yeah? How does it feel, ass hanging out in the breeze huh? I bet your soaking, you always get so wet after sucking on my cock. Like it so much, don’tca?” To further his point, he suddenly thrust forward, making you gag and breaking your rhythm. “I wish I could see it, bet you look so good, dripping wet, wind kicking up that skirt every now and again.” He sighed wistfully. “Another time perhaps.” You mentally rolled your eyes but didn’t let off, sucking and licking along his shaft. Then suddenly a ‘purururu’ broke the silence around you. Your eyes widened but before you could pull back, a hand buried itself in your hair and kept you locked on his dick. You tried to push back but it was like iron, keeping you in place. You looked up and saw him throw another wicked smile your way as his other hand dug into his pocket and withdrew a ringing den den mushi.

Clicking it, he cheerfully chirped out a “Sabo here!” While with his other hand he started guiding you into a fast pace. You breathed heavily through your nose, trying not to make much noise, as Koala started berating him for something or other. The bastard, he always liked it deep and messy, drool dripping down your chin. You didn’t like it yourself, as you kept wanting to swallow the spit down or wipe it away but Sabo insisted. Wanted you to let it all out, just cover his dick with drool. Kinda gross but at the moment you were more concerned with making him cum and releasing you from this horrible embarrassment. Sloppy wet slurping filled the air and you prayed with everything you had that the den den mushi wasn’t picking it up. Sabo’s fingers dug into your hair and increased the pace, his dick sliding in and out of your mouth, drool dripping down your chin. You dug your fingers into his clothed thighs, trying to hang on. Finally, you heard him grunt as he pushed himself down the back of your throat. You gagged, tears running down your cheeks as he started coming, almost choking you. You swallowed desperately, trying to breathe before he withdrew and you collapsed against his thighs, struggling to breathe without being too loud.

“Everything okay?” You heard Koala ask with concern. Sabo chuckled as he ran a hand over your head, in a reassuring way.

“Yeah everything’s fine, just stubbed my toe.”

In the end, Sabo had to leave without finishing you off in return, a fact that seemed to make him grin with satisfaction. You seethed silently as you pushed a mop down the hallway. Your thighs rubbed against each other in an uncomfortable way, the slick dry and causing almost a rash as you walked. Maybe you could go change? You thought about it, might be a good idea. Just finish this hallway, stop by quickly in your room and change. Sabo couldn’t complain and even if he did, fuck him he’s the one who left you like this in the first place—

The thought was suddenly cut off as hands grabbed you and pulled you into a dark room. You opened your mouth to scream but something covered it, muffling your shout. You blinked frantically, heart pounding as your eyes tried to adjust to the dark. Then the smell of leather hit your nose and your body relaxed. It was just Sabo. You shoved your body back and broke out of his hold as he laughed lowly.

“What was that for?” He asked voice sly.

“Don’t just grab people like that!” You replied, loud and angry. He shushed you, as warm hands grabbed at your arms and pulled you closer. You still couldn’t see a thing.

“Be quiet, you don’t want to be overheard do you?” Sabo whispered, apparently close enough you could feel the ghost of his breath over your lips, and you stilled. The two of you had never kissed before, was this the moment? But no, you felt him pull away and you licked your lips with disappointment. The smell of cleaning supplies finally caught your awareness and you realized this was probably the cleaning closet.

“Really, a closet?” You grudgingly whispered back. Sabo gently guided you, turning you around until you faced away from him. Wrapping an arm around your waist he pressed you against his body and nuzzled his face into your neck, dropping kisses that made you shiver.

“It’ll be fun,” Sabo said, a grin in his voice. You could feel his hardness pressed against your ass and you wiggled against it.

“Eager are we? You just came not to long ago,” you teased and he huffed out a laugh.

“Only for you my dear,” he replied as he wound a hand between the two of you and made quick work to release his already hard cock from his trousers. You scoffed before Sabo positioned himself between your legs, pressing you slightly forward. His cock rubbed against your entrance, and you bit your lip against a groan.

You squeezed your thighs together tighter, and Sabo sighed from behind you before he started thrusting, arms wound around your midsection. It didn’t take long for you to grow wet again, coating his warm dick and making the slide of it easier. Sabo groaned into your hair.

“Always get so wet for me, feels good doesn’t it?”

“Are you always such a talker or is it just for me?” You muttered back, only a little annoyed as you tilted your hips to try and increase the speed. Sabo laughed before both of you jolted in alarm as a yell of ‘Sabo!’ echoed down the hallway.

It was Koala, you squirmed trying to break out of his hold but he held you fast. “Be quiet,” he hissed in your ear urgently. The tone made you stop moving and you could hear Koala’s voice as well as her heels clicking as she walked.

“Ugh, you take your eyes off that guy for one second and he’s already gone. SABO!” She yelled again, voice filled with annoyance. She was getting closer, the sound of her voice and heels increasing. Sabo slowly leaned back, and you thought he was taking a step back but no, he thrust forward suddenly and your eyes widened. Did he want to get caught? A hand covered your mouth and Sabo bent you roughly in half. Your hands blindly reached out and caught yourself on a wall. Sabo grunted into your ear as he started pounding you from behind, and you held in your moans as Koala’s voice echoed down the hall beside you.

There wasn’t nearly enough friction for you, his tip only giving you fast, passing teasing grazes on your clit. Your fingers clenched and you desperately wished Sabo would finally stop with all the teasing and just shove his way inside you. Even as Koala passed the door, voice right next to your ear as she muttered angrily, her voice carried as it swept past the closet you were in, and you whimpered.

A gloved hand suddenly caressed your thigh, and you would have jumped if you had any room to move. As it was, Sabo was completely plastered against your back, one hand still covering your mouth, making you breathe in leather through your nose, as the other trailed over your clit teasingly.

“Want it?” He whispered and you nodded frantically. Finally, his fingers started circling your clit, the leather so different from normal skin before they finally gave you the friction you needed and he thumbed at your clit with large strokes while still thrusting his dick across your folds and you came, stars dancing across your eyes in the otherwise dark room.

Pain bloomed as Sabo once again bit at your shoulder before his hips started twitching, small gentle thrusts which you took to mean he was coming. Your nose wrinkled as he finally took away his hand from your mouth. You hoped you weren’t the one who had to clean that up.

“Hey doll, wanna do me a favor?” Your eyebrow twitched at the nickname as he finally released you. “Next time we met, do the same thing, no panties with a skirt. But wear a garter belt and stockings for me okay?” You folded your arms, even though he couldn’t see it.

“ Why should I? What makes you think I even have that?”

“Aw pigeon,” his hands sought you out and grabbed onto an arm, making you unfold them. “I’ll make it worth your while.” Into the palm of your hand, he deposited some fabric and you scowled. He really just had that in his pocket huh? “Meet me in the library tomorrow.” He told you, before leaving the closet, coattails fluttering behind him.

You cleaned the library, feeling like a fool. Why did you listen to him!? You asked yourself angrily, as you looked at the step ladder and the books you needed to shelve. Sighing, you resolved to listen for the door as you stepped up. One hand automatically smoothed down your skirt and you worked to shelve quickly. A low whistle made you startle and drop the book you were holding.

Looking down you saw Sabo grinning as he came up under you. How did he get in here without making a sound!? “Ohhh, looking good, bend a little for me?”

“Fuck you,” you said with a frown. He picked up the fallen book and held it out to you. You took it with an angry swipe and he leaned against the step ladder, folding his hands under his chin and peering up at you.

“Aw come on doll, don’t be like that. You look stunning! Lemme seeeeee,” he dragged the word and you hmphed with annoyance. Still, his stare didn’t waver and you broke under his hungry look as you bent a little more than necessary to put away the book and he groaned.

“Yessss, so sexy. You should grow out your hair,” he commented idly and you straightened up, cheeks burning.

“Excuse me?!” He held out a hand to help you down the ladder which you ignored. He shrugged.

“I dunno, girls always shave their pubes. I think it would be interesting to see it all-natural, you don’t agree?”

“Not really,” you grit out. Sabo hummed.

“With that outfit, I think it would look nice. I can imagine it now,” he grabbed onto your wrist and started pulling you into the middle of the room as he gestured excitedly with the other. “You wearing that sinful skirt and those stockings. I’m walking down a hallway and you catch my eye. You lift up your skirt, such a tease, I catch a flash of the tops of your stockings and I stop to watch. You lift it even higher, the belts start to show before at last, you flash me the whole package. Curly patch of hair just waiting in between, already dripping wet for me. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Sounds like you have quite the imagination,” you said, unimpressed. Even if the description maybe…stirred something in you, you weren’t about to let him know that. Sabo laughed.

“Maybe, but it seems like you would like it. Here we all! Back to where it all started huh?” He had led you to the desk and you shifted uncomfortably. Sabo used your wrist to pull you against him once again. He smiled down at you. “I’m going to take good care of you, get into position?” He shot you a pleading look, fluttering his eyelashes and you sighed.

“Alright.” You knew without being told that he wanted you to lean against the desk as you had before. But he surprised you by dropping to his knees. Gloved hands caressed your thighs as he pulled at the belts that held up your stockings with an appreciative hum. You opened your legs wider. He shot you one quick grin before diving under your skirt. A warm tongue started lapping at your core and you groaned. You dug your fingers into his hair, silky soft under your touch. He wasn’t wearing his hat today. When he started thrusting his tongue into you, you moaned loudly, trying to open your legs even further as a hand began to grab at your ass.

Sabo chuckled before he withdrew. “Careful, you keep moaning like that someone’s bound to come in,” he commented as he straightened. You couldn’t take it anymore and dove at him, lips desperately seeking out his. His mouth opened easily at your attack, tongues dancing together as your taste once again filled your mouth. Both his hands grabbed at your ass as he started walking you back. When you hit the edge, he picked you up and settled you on top of the wood, lips still sealed together. It was amazing, you clung onto his coat jacket tightly, you had been longing to kiss him for ages now. Past the taste of yourself heavy on his tongue, he tasted wonderful, licking into your mouth with sinful skill.

Your hands pulled at his clothing, trying to get him undressed before he pulled back. You whined and he smiled regretfully back at you.

“None of that, we can’t get naked in here right?” You pouted.

“Then why don’t we do this in an actual bed?” Sabo kissed your nose.

“Maybe next time. I’m a little embarrassed getting naked actually,” he confessed, looking just a tad bit shy and you blinked.

“Why? You’re so handsome.”

“Yeah? You think so?” He asked with an amazed look. You didn’t understand why he seemed so surprised and you nodded back. Sabo smiled, looking happy and pleased. “It’s just…the scar goes further down.” He gestured at his face and you shrugged immediately.

“That doesn’t bother me.”

Sabo hummed while licking his lips. “I’ll keep that in mind. For now, let’s get back to this huh?”

“Want me to go down on you?” You asked and he shook his head, running his hands up and down your calves. He ran his hands up the back of your calves until it ended at your thighs and his fingers dug in.

“You look amazing like this. Open my pants for me?” You reached out and made quick work of his buttons, having enough practice with it by now. Finally, his cock sprung free, already hard and glistening. You started to stroke him and he moaned, tightening his fingers at the back of your thighs.

“Don’t do that, I’m so close already,” he warned as he used one hand to push on your stomach lightly. You got the message and laid down. Taking himself in hand, he used the tip to rub against your entrance and you moan arching up against it. “Been wanting this? Craving my dick that badly?” Your pussy twitched at his words and you keen.

“Yes Sabo, so much, been thinking about it constantly.”

“Tell me,” he demanded, still just rubbing against your clit with the head. You groaned.

“Every time we meet up I—ah!” A particular rough thrust has you canting your hips up, trying to chase the feeling. He withdrew and you huffed with understanding. “I’m always hoping that this time, you’d finally shove your way inside of me. Wanna feel the stretch of you—oh!” You cut off when his head finally starts to carve its way inside and you feel your eyes roll up into your head at the feeling. FINALLY. The burn of the stretch feels delicious and you’re already moaning as he leaned over you, watching his dick slowly pierce you. Once he was fully seated, one of his hands wrapped itself under a thigh, and lifted it up until your calf rested on his shoulder, he placed a distracted kiss on your covered leg as he stared at where you two were connected.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna last long at all,” he breathed out in awe. Finally his eyes lifted and caught on yours. “Let’s see about making this good mm?” He grabbed onto your hip and bent you practically in half. Reaching out, he wrapped his other hand around your throat and your eyes widened. Before you could say anything, protest maybe, he slowly withdrew.

“Sabo—” you started and he slammed inside while his fingers tightened ever so slightly around your throat and you wailed. As he began to pound into your heat, his fingers gripped your neck tightly, only allowing you shallow pants. Tears made your vision swim as pain and pleasure shot through you. You had never been choked before and the experience was pushing you ever faster towards your peak. Sabo was being so rough, driving himself in and out so fast, balls slapping against your ass as he moaned and grunted. He kept his eyes on you, drinking you in.

“Feel so good, so tight doll. Want you to come for me, can you do that?” His hand prevented any response or nod. Blinking, tears spilled from your eyes and he groaned at the sight. “Fuck, you’re so pretty like this. Speared on my cock like this, can’t move, can’t breathe,” his fingers tightened and you gasped. “Gonna fill you up, finally. Like you’ve always wanted right? Like you dreamed about, fuck, I’m gonna come. You ready darling? Gonna take it so well, ooohhhh,” he finally closed his eyes as his head dipped forward, hips which had kept up a bruisingly steady pace till this moment, dove in deep and penetrated you so well. The lack of oxygen was making your head spin and that last brutally deep thrust finally put you over the edge you were hanging on for so long, his dirty talk getting you hot and bothered.

Sabo withdrew his hand at last, and you heaved out loud breathes, gulping down air. You felt as he gently removed your leg off his shoulder and let it dangle down off the edge of the desk as you caught your breath. He leaned over you and pressed a few kisses on your face, licking up your tears.

“How was that?”

“Fine,” you wheezed out, voice raspy. Sabo laughed at your attempt at an attitude.

“Oh doll, I’ve got a lot more than just that planned, just you wait." 

[angelamajiki]

[ peace treaty - kiribaku ]

AN: this is a fantasy au piece, enjoy! :)

CW: yandere, dubcon, arranged marriage, stalking, coercion, dragon/animal anatomy, fantasy au, afab terms, predator/prey dynamics, size difference, facesitting

“A mate, huh?” Katsuki chuckled as he stroked his companion’s horns, looking into the horizon thoughtfully.

“Think about it! We need hatchlings to lead the future generations of the Bakugo clan.” Eijirou pleaded with his mate. “Don't you ever miss the company of a woman? I know I do.”

Adding a woman to their pack would certainly bring its advantages. It would undoubtedly strengthen their positions as clan rulers if they were to have a wife and children to carry on both men’s legacy.

“Fine,” Katsuki conceded. “Let’s go find a mate then.”

The pair returned to their respective forms, wolf and dragon, as they began their hunt through the wild countryside for their new mate. Days of running down the mountainous forests away from their clan, they settled on resting at the edge of the woods, looking at a clearing just over a shimmering river that separated the two territories. Beyond the meadow was a small fortress surrounded by the community that they presumably controlled—a perfect place to start their search after some well-needed sleep.

Katsuki was the first to awaken from his slumber at the sound of a woman’s voice. And a heavenly voice it was, signing an alluring melody. Peaking his head over the bushes, the young prince saw the enchanting woman bathing alone in the stream. The other man had awoken as well, just as equally entranced by the naked dancing woman.

“A vixen...” Katsuki murmured, twisting to look at his mate. It was clear to both men that she was the mate they were looking for. Independent, vexing, sweet. She was perfect.

“Let’s snatch her up now while she’s distracted, ” Eijirou grumbled impatiently, eager to take her back to their den at once.

“Patience, Ei. I want her too, but now is not the moment to strike. Let's watch her a bit more; she needs to be more than a pretty face, you know that.”

Katsuki did not doubt that she wasn’t their perfect match, but he is a predator to her before he’s a man to her at this moment.

The blissfully unaware maiden that you were, you went on with bathing peacefully in the warm, summer day. Your attendants had followed you from the castle, watching from afar as they knew you valued your time alone in the stream. After some time, one of them called for you back to the castle for supper. Dried and dressed, the group of you departed from the meadow by horse as the sunset.

“So, she’s a princess, Katsuki.” Eijirou’s tail trashed with excitement. “If we marry her, we’ll get this territory too! Oh, I wonder if she likes to travel..” The red-haired man went off on a tangent about his many fantasies for you while the blonde thought deeply. This was almost too perfect; he had just the plan to corner and ensnare their lovely little prey.

The men stayed at the edge of their territory, for the time being, glad to notice that you had returned to the riverbank almost daily. Sometimes you took your handmaidens; sometimes, you came alone while they trailed back.

They learned that you liked to flip through many a book while basking in the sunlight. A library would be a perfect wedding present for you-they intended to spoil you thoroughly with the dragon’s hoard.

Five days had proven to be enough time for the men to watch you and returned to their clan to make the necessary preparations for your place as their lovely spoiled mate.

---

A fortnight later, a letter from the young prince arrived at your doorstep, addressed to your father, the king.

“An alliance? With the barbarian tribe, that’s unheard of, father. Are you sure it’s not some trick?” You doubted, finding it difficult to understand his request. The barbarian clan was...mysterious, to say the least. Living up in the mountains beyond the river, they were a solitary bunch who were ruthless and never exhibited mercy towards their foes. Not much was know about them because they simply never made alliances or held diplomacy with other clans or kingdoms.

“Perhaps they wish to make allies with the next closest kingdom, my dear.” Your father spoke quietly, his voice wavering as he avoided your eyes. “You’ll go up the mountains to discuss the terms with young Bakugo. An older gentleman like me is not suited for those kinds of traveling conditions.”

Nodding solemnly, preparations were made for your immediate departure. All of your belongings were brought to your carriage, something that struck you as rather odd. Although father did say something about the uncertainty of the amount of time you would spend with the barbarians for the sake of discussion.

With that in mind, you set off into the forest just as the sunset.

---

The journey had taken nearly five days through the rain and snow, your small carriage trudging up the mountainside to the den of the barbarians. As your carriage came to a stop, two men helped you out and down, both possessing a tenderness that didn’t seem possible for them. The blond was bare-chested, even in the snow! He stood at about six feet and had a body that seemed the gods themselves sculpted it.

“Welcome to my clan, your majesty.”

His smirk was wolf-like, eyes bearing down on you like a predator who has caught his unwitting prey. “Come, let’s get you inside to warmth and comfort. I'm sure you’ve had a long journey. Eijirou here will help with your belongings and join us after you rest.”

The prince held out his arm for you to take as the red-head beside you gave a toothy grin before setting off to work. He...he was something more than a man, he had to be! Standing at well over six and a half feet, he was much more muscular than the blonde; Eijirou airs about him more than human. It was inexplicable.

Katsuki gave a gentle tug to your arm before ushering you to the massive tent that stood in the middle of the community of barbarians who looked onto you with glowing pride. What an odd bunch of people, but you couldn't very well judge them now, could you? They simply had a different culture, another way of life.

The tent seemed larger than life on the inside and was impossibly warm. It had had a large bed adorned with piles of pelts and furs near a roaring fireplace. Many bookshelves lined the walls, as well as prized kills and weaponry were displayed. Katsuki led you to a table near the warmth of the fire. How-

“Magic, princess. I am fortunate enough to possess it, as well as many of my clansmen.” Katsuki boasted, clearly prideful of his abilities. He could only hope it impressed you, which it certainly did. “It keeps us warm up here in the dead of winter, which is soon approaching. It protects us, provides for us, all of which it will do for you too.”

Your smile could hardly be contained as you gazed upon the handsome man with wonder. For you, too? Would this he be so kind as to lend you its strength while you struck a deal with them? The barbarians were indeed nothing like the fairytales you had heard about them.

“I thank you for your hospitality, Sir Bakugo. I am truly humbled to be here with you.”

“Call me Katsuki, little one. We should grow familiar with each other before our wedding.”

His wolfish smirk grew wider as he saw the look on your face. Ah, he so loved that look of feeble innocence and confusion on your expression.

“Oh, did your father not tell you?” he chuckled, taking a sip from his cup. “This is an alliance through our union. Suppose you’ll have us, of course. Otherwise, we might have to resort to other means down the mountain.”

Us? Oh, he means-

“Ei, don’t be shy and stand in the doorway. Come greet your bride properly.”

Thundering footsteps came from behind your seated form as Eijirou towered over your much smaller frame.

“Please, tell me you agree to us, my love. We've waited so long for your arrival, won't you let us have you?” A scarred but gentle hand enveloped yours as the dragon shifter kissed it tenderly. “There’s no need to be frightened; we intend to treat you like our queen and spoil you rotten with all the world’s riches. Grant us your blessing.”

How could you deny them? Your kingdom was in danger, yet these men, they lulled you into such a state of comfort and safety. Perhaps it was the magic at work?

“Please, may I think on it?” Your heart battered against your ribcage with fear and excitement. Two men, both for husbands. What a strange culture indeed.

“Only if you let us have you tonight. Give us a chance to prove our worth as not only husbands but as men to you.”

Blood rushed to your face, heating your cheeks as you felt aflame with shame, and to your horror, arousal. They are seasoned men. Indeed they’ll treat you as gently as they have been the whole time?

“O-Only if you are gentle with me. I am...inexperienced.”

That was all the approval they needed. Eijirou, still behind you, swept you up in his arms and onto the bed. Wanting to show some display of his true strength, he ripped your gown clean off your body. Whimpering, your hand flew to grip his forearm fearfully. “Gentle, please, gentle.”

Eijirou shushed you softly, placing a sweet kiss on your trembling lips, hands beginning to wander to down your sides and to your sex. Stroking your clit in small circles, the men relished in your little whines and moans.

“I think I should give you a taste, huh? I haven't eaten all day.” He purred as he dipped down to press kisses to your lips before diving in with his hot tongue, lapping your clit.

Katsuki’s searing kiss swallowed wanton moans and cries. Eijriou’s hands kept your squirming hips firmly in place, positioning you to sit on his face while the blond continued to lay passionate kisses on your lips, neck, and chest.

Teeth sunk into your neck as the prince wasted no time in marking up his newfound territory. Your cries heightened in pitch as you gripped red hair, calling out Eijirou’s name as you came from his overwhelming sucking and slurping of your juices.

“N-no more! Please, that's enough!” Whining, you began to shake when his tongue barely came to half after your cries. Panting and writhing, you peeled off his tongue and laid on the furs next to Katsuki.

“I think that’s enough for this evening; poor thing is already exhausted.” Katsuki chuckled as he dabbed the sweat off your brow and cleaned in between your legs.

“We’ll build up your stamina and be sure to stretch you gently daily.” Eijirou quipped as he took his place next to your side. Up close, you could see how different he really was. Red iridescent scales trailed on his sideburns and h

shoulders. Absentmindedly, you stroke them and wondered if there were more.

“After all, it’s customary to lose your virginity on the wedding night, so need to rush you in right now. Have you made your decision, given Ei’s stellar performance?”

Letting sleep overtake you, your head nodded gently as he rested on Eijirou’s shoulder. The hunt was over and the men could not be more happy with their choice.

[pcvensies]

*.• Si vis amari.

I. The Moon.

in which 18 year old gojo satoru is left in charge of 6 year old fushiguro megumi, with the help of 17 year old nanami suki (oc).

word count: 2180

0. Prologue | II. The Sun

Suki listened from the kitchen, as the white haired boy explained the story to her brother, sat at the dining table.

The kid, Fushiguro Megumi as he had explained, waited patiently for his dinner in the living room, watching TV with fake interest, ears fixed on the conversation that was taking place in the other room.

The blonde girl poured the boiling water in the pan, hard noodles floating on it, and she turned around to the boys, lower back resting against the kitchen.

Satoru looked at her, trying to decipher her expression, while Kento simply sighed, rubbing his temples with his index fingers.

“So you killed a man, and he put his kid’s life in your hands to, what? Mentor him?”, the blonde asked, as his sister remained quiet.

Suki disconnected from their conversation, trying to process everything she had heard. The Zenin’s were not good people, that she knew. And if that kid’s father had denied them, and dirtied their name, Fushiguro wasn’t safe with them. But why put the responsibility on Gojo? Wasn’t that man meant to kill him?

She sighed softly, humming as she turned around and stirred the noodles, adding a small packet of spices on top.

Fushiguro Toji. She was sure she had heard it before, somewhere. Perhaps in class, or training with the older students? She couldn’t remember. But if his death wish had been for Gojo to protect his kid, it was to respect, right? As crazy as it was. But would the kid be actually safe? Was an eighteen year old the best option to raise a kid? Eighteen year old Gojo Satoru, of all eighteen year olds?

However, the question that mattered the most to her was why now. From what he had said, Fushiguro senior had died a year or so ago. Why take the kid now? What had been the inflexion point?

“Dinner’s ready”, she finally said.

Gojo frowned, eyes back on her. He couldn’t hear any kind of emotion through her voice. He had no idea what she was thinking, and it angered him. Suki always had had that ability, to turn it off and simply don’t feel, to hide her thoughts.

Kento got up from his chair, getting two plates, one for the kid and one for the white haired boy, and Suki walked to the living room.

“Eavesdropping is bad education, you know?”.

The kid looked at her with a plain expression, and the blonde girl sighed, waiting for him to walk to the kitchen. The kid sat next to Kento, and in front of Satoru. Suki took the plates that had been left next to the stove, and served two rations, handing one to the kid, and another to Gojo, who looked up at her with an eyebrow raised.

Nanami simply rolled her eyes, her hand on the back of his head turning it to look at the plate, a silent sign for him to just eat. She could tell he hadn't had dinner either.

Kento looked at his sister with that look, and Sue sighed softly, looking back at him with that other look. To the boys, it didn’t mean anything, but the Nanami’s were having a conversation just with their eyes.

“So…”, the girl cleared her throat, moving her eyes from her brother to Satoru, “Are you taking him to the school tonight? To sleep, I mean”.

“Not sure how our dear sensei would react to that. I’ll figure something out”, he said unimportantly, looking at the kid, “Pretty sure I can find somewhere for him to stay until I know how to tell Yaga about him”.

Satoru didn’t really want to have that talk, if he was honest. He knew what Yaga would say already, and it wasn’t something he wanted to hear. In fact, Kento had also said what he thought he would: that it was crazy, and irresponsible. But Suki, she hadn’t said anything. Her behavior around the kid was careful, with respect, but informal.

If he didn’t know her, he’d say she was angry. But it was something else, he just couldn't put his finger on it.

“He can stay here tonight. And you should too”.

He looked at the girl, then at Kento, and chuckled softly.

“You worried we’ll end up sleeping in the streets, Nanami?”.

“No. I’m worried you’ll end up dead in a ditch, and him with the Zenin’s. Plus, it’s Christmas vacation, tell Yaga you’re celebrating with us and will go around just to train”.

“I can defend myself quite right, thank you, I don’t need—”.

The sound of Suki’s punch hitting the table silenced the boy, and the blonde girl sighed softly, calmly even, closing her eyes and opening them slowly.

“I wasn’t asking, Satoru”.

The white haired man clenched his fists under the table, looking at the short girl with a serious face. Kento looked at her too, eyes opened with surprise at the sudden first name usage from his sister, and her very clear (to him, at least) worry.

“Fuck off, Suki”, the blue eyed boy said, getting up, and looking at her. But his expression soon changed, and he chuckled softly. “I’m sleeping with Nanamin, ‘cause that attitude you have today? Huh-uh, no thanks”.

Suki’s face changed at his words too, a smile cracking up as she rolled her eyes, and picked up the now empty plates, as her brother turned to the white haired boy.

“Excuse me, no, the hell you’re not. You get the carpet, and because I feel bad enough for you already”.

“Nanamin… don’t argue with me, not in front of the kid…”, the boy replied, pouting at Kento, and the blonde rolled his eyes, a small smile plastered on his face.

Suki left both plates at the sink, and told the two boys to go look for a movie to watch. They both looked at her, then at each other, then at the kid, and nodded understandably.

Megumi was annoyed. He didn’t want to be there, he wanted to go away and get as far away from that white haired tall baby as he could. Gojo was loud, extra, and incredibly annoying. He didn’t need Gojo to take care of him, nor whoever Yaga was. But something about the twins, Suki and Kento, made Gojo a little less annoying.

They didn’t look at him with utter admiration like the people on the streets did, girls and boys turning their heads his way and Megumi’s. They spoke to him like he was just another person, ignoring any kind of honorifics or respect, even when they seemed to be younger.

“He can be really stubborn when he wants, right?”.

The girl spoke, and Megumi looked her way, his blank expression never changing.

“Yeah”.

“Not much of a talker, huh? It’s okay, silence is okay with me”.

She gave him a sweet smile, and started cleaning the dishes, her back to the kid. She hummed a little song as she did, and Megumi felt his eyes start to get heavy, some silence finally forming around him. He hadn’t realised how tired he actually was until now, arms warm and stomach full.

He looked around slowly, eyes landing on various pictures displayed on the cabinets and bookshelves. Lots of pictures of the twins, from when they were his age, to their tenth birthday, to them now. A picture in which he could recognise Gojo, with another two girls and another boy seemed to be hidden behind a flowerpot.

“Do you want to go to sleep now, or later, Fushiguro?”, the girl asked, and he shrugged, trying to hold a yawn, “You can have my bed, and I’ll take the couch. Kento will lend you some old pyjamas to sleep on, too, and you can go to sleep or come watch the movie with us, okay? Your choice”.

She seemed like a genuinely cool person to the kid. She didn’t let Gojo’s arrogance put her down, nor did she allow him to let it get over his head. She spoke surely, without any shame to take charge of the situation.

But she wasn’t scary, or rude. Not even cold. At the same time, she seemed sweet. Allowing him to choose for himself, lending her room, and not forcing him to talk. There wasn’t a trace of condescension on her voice as she spoke to him neither, having a conversation like she would with anyone her age.

When she finished the dishes, she picked a glass from a cabinet, and filled it with water.

Megumi followed her around the apartment, his school backpack hanging from his shoulder, the sweater she had given him now folded in his arms.

Suki’s room wasn’t very big, but it was cool. She had Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling all over the room, and a long desk, between the window and the bed, with lots of books and a computer. There were also many little plants around, and a big mirror next to the window, framed with many polaroids of her and her brother and friends, but also of plants, street animals, and sunsets.

One of the walls was the color of wine, as were the bed sheets and the windowsill, and the other three were covered in lots of posters and more pictures. There were even some plants and vinyls hanging from the walls.

“Okay, wait here”, she interrupted the silence, as Megumi continued to explore with his eyes.

The closet was inside the wall, white wooden doors contrasting against the dark paint, as were the bedframe and the desk.

“Here”, she said as she came back, handing him the small pyjamas, and leaving the glass of water in the nightstand, “When you’re ready, you can sleep or come with us, in the living-room, okay?”.

The dark haired kid nodded, taking the things from her hands and sitting in the corner of the bed, still looking around the walls, reading the posters.

“If you need anything, just call me, alright?”.

He nodded again, and Suki gave him a little smile, and turned around to leave the room, already regretting allowing the boys to choose the movie, when the kid finally answered:

“Thank you, Nanami-chan”.

( . . . )

“God, that was scary”, Kento complained, picking up the empty soda cans from the table as Suki turned off the TV, stretching out on the couch, as Satoru´s head rested on her shoulder, “I can’t believe he fell asleep with your yelling”.

Suki chuckled softly, shaking the man next to her as her brother walked to the kitchen to throw everything away, then went to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Gojo groaned, sitting up and yawning, and rubbed his eyes.

“You cool?”, the girl asked, and the blue eyed boy nodded, giving her a smile as he rested his head back on the couch, facing the ceiling.

“Long ass day, it’s tiring always being the coolest person in the room”.

Suki chuckled, getting up, and Satoru pouted at the sudden cold by his side. The girl walked to the bookshelf, picking up a copy of Verne’s “Journey to the Center of the Earth”, and opening it to reveal a small box of cigarettes.

The white haired boy chuckled at her, sunglasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, and Suki sent him a serious look, not wanting her brother to hear.

She walked to a glass door, moonlight coming through it and lighting up the room, and she opened it with one hand, as she lit the cigarette with the other. Gojo watched her silently, her small frame walking out to the small balcony.

Suki was a confusing person to most of the people, but she was pretty easy to read once she opened up. Satoru knew she was worried, he had finally realised what the emotion was when she sat next to him for the movie, allowing him to rest his head on her shoulder. She could tell he was tired.

“Are you okay, ‘toru?”.

Her voice hung on the room for a minute, Gojo’s heart jumping at the first name basis again. She knew he wasn’t, and she was giving him the chance to talk about it by asking directly.

But he wasn’t ready, not yet.

The boy got up from his comfortable place on the couch, and walked slowly to the balcony. Suki was sitting on the floor, legs hanging outside of the surface between the handstand’s bars. Gojo settled next to her, legs crossed and blue eyes locked on the moon, as he held his weight with his arms behind his body.

His fingertips brushed against the girl’s, and he looked down at her. The blonde girl was looking up too, but not at the moon. Her honey eyes squinted lightly, trying to distinguish the stars.

She wasn’t the biggest fan of physical touch, he knew, so he left his hand there, allowing her to make whatever next move she pleased.

Gojo smiled at the weight of her head against his shoulder, just like he had done before, acknowledging the trust Suki had on him, and her intention of supporting him.

She was like that sometimes, she never made anyone speak, or tell her what they didn’t want to word out. She simply offered her presence, and a pure, genuine understanding.

“You cool?”, asked the boy this time, eyes fixed back on the sky.

“Very. Stars look better from this angle, just that”.

n/a: does anyone want to be on the taglist for when i post ?? idek if anyone actually likes this but yeah if u wanna be tagged on updates, lemme know! <3

also anything related to this fic will be posted on #sivisamare.lulu so i can keep things organised!! check it out for suki’s fc and me making memes of my own fic hehe :)

[matchamorphosis]

MS ROSIE THAT HEADCANNON OMFG MAY I PRETTY PLEASE REQUEST DADDY ARI- maybe like hes busy with work but youre really needy so he lets you ride his thigh i lub mean daddy ari🥺<33333

𝐶𝐴𝑁𝐷𝑌 𝐶𝑂𝐴𝑇𝐸𝐷 𝐶𝐻𝐸𝑅𝑈𝐵

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 || Ari hasn’t been paying you much attention and so you take matters in your own hands as well as your short cherry skirt.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 || smut smut smut

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 || alt. AU — daddy!ari levinson × [black//woc]fem!reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || 18+ nsfw, thigh riding, masochism, kinda dark!ari, spanking, hair pulling, lots of edging, tons of crying, Ari is a big meanie :(( MINORS DNI — 18+ INTERACTION ONLY

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 || candy by doja cat

𝐰. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 || yes jasmeen of course you can!! 🥺💗 i’m gonna make daddy!ari extra mean and dirty for you and i’m gonna add a little bit of bratty reader cause in this house we love mean daddies and spoiled brats! 💗💗💗

Ari’s eyes follow the screen to the stacks of paperwork in front of him. all this was due by the end of the week and he still didn’t file the information from the online form to the files laying on his desk.

there were times where Ari broke some work related limits of hours upon hours of desk work fueled by caffeine and your kisses of encouragement but then again he did have his limits.

these were those times but no matter how much he promised himself he’d take a break, meaning to check up on you and see what you’ve been up to. although time seemed to pass and Ari hadn’t realize that that side note was forgotten three hours ago on the account of his mind relentlessly kept on reeling him back into his paperwork.

the large coffee mug you made him at a pottery class sits besides a stack of files is pushing its fifth refill of the day as Ari pours the remaining bitter black liquid from the coffeepot. the dark black liquid flowing into the yellow painted, honeypot shaped mug.

it makes him smile at the memory of when you gifted it to him, wrapped in sparkly wrapping paper he presses kisses all over your face in gratitude. he always complained on needing a mug since he always dropped them and he was certain to never drop of break this special mug his princess made him.

its sudden with the loose grip he has on the coffee mug that the coffee spills over the brink of the mug and onto a few papers. the action causes Ari to blurt out an aggregated scold before fanning out the papers soaked in coffee to the side near a fan.

sitting back down on his chair his eyes look over the work he has completed. stapling and putting away documents that have been signed and filed out as well as closing off tabs that weren’t important anymore-

he still has more work cut out for him

his rushing thoughts and swift hands bearing a pen and the other a computer mouse, his head shoots up as a rhythm like knock echoes at the home office door. “come in,”

the low rumble of his voice speaks out as his eyes and attention to back on the papers in his grasps. sipping on his black coffee, slightly sweetened in his desired cream and sugar packets, his focus and eyes stick to his paperwork.

the door opens to reveal you, slightly irritated and desperate for attention from your daddy. you were certain with your presence and the way your heels clack against the flooring he would lift his head up. adjust the small glasses on the brink of his nose and acknowledge you, tell you that you look cute today or stop writing all together but it doesn’t spark interest to him at all.

thin spectacles on the brink of his nose, loose curtains of hair rest on the sides of his face. as you take steps closer you can see the worn out exhaustion in his blue hues and the deep darkness of his under eye bags. daddy hasn’t slept great in days, always joining you in bed in the early morning hours and waking before you can. so now knowing that your mission for attention might not be the best idea, you know when your daddy gets like this.

it’s best to leave him work but it wasn’t healthy for him to overwork. it’s stress none stop about getting work done cause it wasn’t good for daddy! and despite you feeling a burn in your belly that you wanted to deny and push aside for him...

even you had your limits of being deprived from his embraces, praises and touches.

a solid three days it’s been that Ari has been glued behind his desk. it irked you how demanding his job was but you had to be his supportive princess, he needed all the support and encouragement. even if it meant to ignore the wetness in between your thighs that needed to be catered and handled by your daddy then so be it...

maybe you can get a bit of attention, a morsel of affirmation from him and you’ll be set to go. maybe you shouldn’t have worn the outfit you have on if you now just want a praise of two but you don’t hesitate to get comfortable. settling in one of the form fitting arm chairs at the far corner of your daddy’s office near the towering bookshelves and his hanged degrees.

admiring how smart and brave your daddy is with his degrees, certificates and honors as you play with the little charm bracelet he gave you. throwing one smooth leg over the other your mini skirt rakes up to reveal your upper thighs but still covering up what little you’re trying to hide. you liked dressing up pretty for daddy and he did to, today was no exception cause you were planning on cheering him up.

when he would finally realize you were here- you roll your eyes as he takes another sip of coffee. taking all your necessities that you stuffed in your Strawberry Shortcake book bag, you laid the elements of entertainment on the coffee table in front of you near the plush armchairs.

one of your lisa frank coloring books being thrown across the expansive wooden tabletop, you take out your bright vivid gel pens and pastel markers from your coloring pouch. and by taking out you unzip the pink pouch and turn it upside down for it all to fall on the table.

the clashing plastic crash of your coloring tools against the polished tabletop alert Ari- his head shooting up as his eyes meet your distanced body uncapping a scented marker and opening a page of the coloring book.

“princess? I didn’t see you, what are you doing here?” his voice breaks as he drops the pen in his hands briefly, softly smiling as he sees your face driven in concentration. his smile deepens when your nose doing the cute little scrunch thing when you’re unsure about something but plan on figuring out.

hair styled in one of your complicated yet sophisticated hairdos, his large sweater he allowed you to wear since the morning still adorns your bodice comfortably. knees bended, he sees them bare but an outline to a crimson red skirt falls on your hips.

it’s a shame Ari couldn’t get up and scoop you up in his arms, play and color with you for a bit without the ball and chain of his work holding him hostage at his desk.

“so now you notice i’m here,” your voice lightly snaps but it’s mellowed as your lips pull into a pout, pulling the strings of his heart. a sense of guilt rises in his chest because he knows he hasn’t been caring for you properly these past few days. without the little moments of meals and getting ready for bed he hasn’t been spending time with you that much.

“don’t be like that princess. daddy just has alot of work to finish-” but you still shake your head, confusing Ari as you cross your arms over your chest.

“but I don’t want daddy to work! daddy works forever! I want special time!” you whine, your eyes tearing up as you slam your hands against the table. making the coloring books, pens and markers quake at your mercy.

at this moment Ari’s at your mercy, and if he permits you to continue this stirring frenzy who knows how much he’s going to spend away from his work to calm you from a potential tantrum. so the words that come out of Ari’s mouth make you hault your next actions of crying and screaming-

the simple notion of, “come here princess, bring your coloring book with you. we can work together,” makes your tears stop falling and your body rising to leap towards him. grabbing your things quickly and making your way to your daddy. it’s now that he sees you in your outfit that has his eyes sticking anywhere else but yours.

a smirk curling your glossy, cherry painted lips you turn around for him so he could see your little ‘outfit’ the flow of your skirt tempting to rise up at the bottom curve of your ass but you’re hoping to save the surprise do what’s underneath it later, “do you like my skirt daddy?” you say, your eyes tracing his and he only but stares at anything else but your eyes.

the rich gleam of your thighs and long legs, the way your chest peaks out through the fabric to his sweater, your tempting glossy lips and those damn heels...

his response is his hands patting down on his thigh, enough to practically make your heart jump at the sight. it’s been that long since you’ve sat on his lap but then again you constantly need to be on it.

a moonlight smile pulls at the corner of his lips when you drop your coloring books and markers on his desk. making sure to not mess up his paperwork with yours, Ari moves his papers to make way for your things.

sighing happily when you settle your bum in between both of his thighs to get comfy. sweet scent of strawberries and cream from your shampoo wafting to his nose and the stark fruitiness of your scented markers mixing with the coffee steam from his mug marry together.

the two of you do your separate jobs peacefully, with the exception of you reaching for his honeypot mug to have a lick of coffee that he tsks at you. moving the mug away from your grabby small hands.

“that’s a big people drink sweet pea. i’ll give you a juice box if you’re thirsty,” but you just shake your head and get right back to shading with your colors.

“daddy may I please play my hello kitty game?” your perky voice starts as you start coloring the detailed tiger cub. emphasizing on the may and please, your daddy was a sucker for good manners and etiquette.

shifting against only his right thigh now, your back hunches to reach the desk with difficulty until he shift to get you comfortable. continuing coloring but your eyes leave once in a while to stare at the keyboard Ari’s fingers clack with each key, “not now princess.” Ari hums and you frown sourly.

the online hello kitty theme park game would be an excellent way to have you distracted as he works but at the same time Ari doesn’t think it’ll be healthy for you to invest that much screen time. and besides he’s working on it, leaning your head on his bicep you let go of that unwanted answer and get back to color tinting and detailing.

Ari files in the margins of the paperwork and writes everything out as you do with your coloring sheets. as the minutes turn into hours, his mug once again being filled with coffee and your sippy cup filled with your juice. you finish coloring page after coloring page and Ari stack after stack of paperwork.

leaving you halfway done with your one hundred and seventy-five page Lisa Frank coloring book and your daddy only one stack of field files. the amount he managed to finish has him impressed of himself and grateful to his special good luck charm sitting perfectly right on his thigh.

“daddy look at all the pages I finished!” you cheer as you pull out the coloring book for him to look over, practically bouncing on his thigh from excitement. the dazzling brightness of your wide toothy smile bringing a large smile to Ari’s face as he takes the coloring book to look over at your hard work.

flipping each page, the drawings and outlined sheets were more colorful and detailed than the last and Ari was indeed speechless and at awe. proud of his creative princess and her clever unique technique with scented markers and glitter gel pens.

“princess these are gorgeous! I have a little artist on my hands don’t I?” Ari grins and his words make the wide smile you have crinkle as your eyes dash away from his flustered.

your bashful state makes Ari chuckle but his eyes don’t pull away to continue analyzing and admiring your work. you indeed did an excellent job at coloring and Ari thought you’d struggle a bit with the detailed sheets of Lisa Frank. the refrigerator tonight will be decorated in these latest masterpieces, he’ll make sure of it.

and you know what? you deserve a reward.

Ari thought and he bends to the side to open the second compartment of his desk just above his organized files. pulling the drawer open, his hands roam over the pens, staples and office supplies in search for the treats.

stopping his short search when his fingers grab the bag of heart shaped lollipops he at times rewarded you when you listened to him extra carefully. he grabs one and brings it up to your eyesight, enjoying how your eyes light up and follow the lollipop with each motion.

starlight eyes widen and focus on the cherry lollipop in your daddy’s grasp then stare up at him again, “is that for me daddy?” you words drip in eagerness, wanting to taste the sugary sweet artificial fruit against your tongue.

Ari’s eyes playfully squint against your mischievous ones, his fingers undo the wrapper and disregard it aside on the desk. wonderstroke eyes looking over the bare heart shaped lollipop, you can smell the tangy cherry and your mouth waters.

although you don’t expect daddy to take the lollipop in his mouth. a pout pulling your lips as you rock against his thigh for a taste and you stop once your daddy takes it out with a smart delightful pop!

“open up for daddy princess,” and you don’t need to be told twice as you open your mouth so Ari could place the heart lolli in your mouth. “tongue out sweet girl,” and you stick your tongue flat out, making Ari smile at your good listening skills.

your glossy lips closing around the sweet candy on a stick, you hum at the sweet taste, “thank you daddy,” Ari simply kisses your forehead before patting your head, getting straight into work.

despite the candy he gave you, you’re still upset he still is ignoring you. by all means you could color as many pages in your coloring book for eternity but they never gave you the same satisfaction then the attention daddy gave you.

being deprived of it, you’ve also been deprived of his cock.

locked away in the depths of your shared bedroom you couldn’t just replace his thick fingers with yours. your pink silicon toys with his cock because they didn’t reach the golden spot he easily could reach. and you couldn’t rub your panty clothed pussy against one of your pillows and pretend it was Ari’s body.

no matter how much you wanted to touch yourself at times- hell you wanted to touch yourself when you were in your playroom this early afternoon. Ari obviously wouldn’t notice since his head was deep in paperwork but you knew you couldn’t break one of his golden rules.

right now daddy was right here, you were sitting on his very lap and compared to him you were a little thing in desperately critical need to be taken care of. your slicked cunt wasn’t going to stop over-examining your daddy’s big arms that caged you in. his large hands that held the pen that looked so small in it as he wrote. his wide muscular chest that you rest your back against.

not to mention the soft and tender caresses of his one hand rubbing your thigh through your fringed scarlet red skirt. soft lips pressing gentle kisses on your hairline here and there along with the scratch of his thick beard. the soft spoken praises he whispered in your ear as you colored quietly for him.

daddy himself made you needy, very needy. because as much as you could sit still and color quietly and be his good girl you desperately wanted to grind your cunt against his thigh.

but then again who were you to ask for permission?

the sudden shift your body has against his thigh doesn’t ring any bells or blast any alarms since he just thinks you’re simply shifting to find a comfortable position.

wandering fingers trace the veins bursting from your daddy’s flexed hands and forearms that grip his pen as he writes. as well as the other that’s hooked around your belly to keep you still, finding the perfect rhythm to roll your hips against ari’s thigh.

holding in a whimper you suck on the lollipop hard, picturing the heart shaped lolli has the tip of his cock but then again it just makes you drip pathetically against your daddy’s thigh even thinking of that. the burning pleasure vibrating at your core as your hips continue to rock onto the denim of your daddy’s jeans. the slick of your pussy soaking your panties and the honey seeps through the crotch of the thin lace thing.

as much as you’re doing a good job at keeping your little sounds to yourself and throwing Ari off at your dirty work as you carry on coloring he isn’t oblivious to the wetness that is drenching his thigh nor your ongoing grind you have on it.

no matter how considerable you told him earlier that you were coloring the page you’re working on for him and how adorable you looked grinding your desperate cunt on his thigh.

you didn’t ask for permission

Ari’s sure if he could lift your body away from his thigh they’re would be a wet patch stained on his jeans. he can hear the sloppiness of your wet folds and slick with each rock your hips have. the smell of your arousal filling his nose, the cherry in your breath as you let out a little whimper. feeling the loose string of your orgasm building in the pit of your belly beginning to tighten as you roll and rock your hips to the lace that makes you melt.

“stop it,” Ari’s low rumble commanded, his hands still writing something but his eyes dash from his work to you. eyes closed and face clouded in lust as you persist your grinding. head and conscious tucked away in your dirty little dream world. Ari doesn’t let the fact that you’re sucking on the lollipop like it’s his cock or the little moans that sound like high pitched hums.

he gave you you’re a reward and he can easily take it away

oblivious of your daddy’s true intention you moan when his hand lands on your head, stroking through your hair until he takes a handful of it and pulls your head back. a gasp escaping your lips, your eyes open and the grind you have on his thigh comes to a crashing stop at the painful tug.

“daddy let go!” you loudly whine. your eyes watering at your ruined orgasm and your hair potentially getting ruined by your daddy’s harsh hold.

another cry escapes your lips when ari pulls your head back even more, causing your back to arch as his breath wafts against your earlobe. “daddy told you to stop, princess. is my little princess a dumb baby or is my little princess too busy fucking herself on daddy’s thigh to listen?”

the coarseness of his remark makes you shiver, a whimper and cry leaving your lips as your eyes water as the hold he has on your hair tightens.

“get your filthy cunt off of my thigh and keep coloring that picture for me. can you do that for me or you going to wander and get lost in that whorish brain of yours?”

rapidly nodding your head up and down and lift your hips over his thigh, your need to please and answer his question quickly makes him chuckle into your hair. although you’re still whimpering and pouting over your ruined hair, you spent all morning making it cute and perfect all for it to be ruined with a single tug from his large hands.

hot bothered breath and searing lips grazing against the shell of your ear causes your wetness to seep and drip onto your rubbing thighs. catching you in the act, Ari’s free hand pulls the skirt above your hips, expecting you to wear some kind of tiny lace panties but you aren’t wearing anything.

blue eyes don’t meet any scandalous undergarment, just your plump ass and your dripping cunt desperate for his touch. desperate for a release and his attention, his hands examine the flimsy material for a skirt that deliciously hugs and covers your hips.

feeling your daddy’s stare on your princess parts, it makes your heart jump and thump when his hands grab at your ass. kneading the flesh of it before gripping the waistline of the cherry red skirt.

“daddy-?” another gasp escapes your lips when a loud tare ripples throughout the room and the weight of cold air hitting your slicked, exposed pussy.

Ari grunts as he takes the fabric of your now ripped skirt and throws it onto the floor without a care, all he wants to see is your pussy. a large hand comes down to slap your ass, enjoying the way it bounces back like it’s a response. it has all the blood and lust flowing down south to his hardening cock.

“do daddy a favor princess and shut the fuck up before daddy makes you,” the threat makes you whimper, the lollipop in your mouth swirling sweetly against your tongue as your daddy pinches and gripes handfuls of your ass. slapping the flesh and watching it bounce, he wants to dig his teeth in your peach flesh.

“take my sweater off. I want nothing on what’s mine. do you understand?” Ari groans in your ear as his hands glide around your hips to dip into your cunt, his fingers stroking your folds and not believeing how wet you are. “oh and princess, the heels stay on,”

whimpering and following his order quickly, grabbing his sweater from the helm and lift the heavy wool material of the sweater above your head. body fully bare and under the heat of his burning glance, you drop the thick article of clothing in your hands on the floor. leaving the heels on as he commanded, feeling the lust filled burn of his stare intensify as you rest your hands together on his knee waiting.

waiting impatiently for the matter for his next command. the smell of the baby oil and sweet strawberry lotion he rubbed on your curves earlier that day hits his nose and he moans. you look, smell and- as he takes his fingers in his mouth and moans- taste like candy.

hearing the sudden sound of a heavy metal buckle of his belt loosen, Ari’s hard cock rises up and hits the hard muscle of his belly. an untamed groan escapes oats his lips when you turn your head over your shoulder to see him rubbing the tip of his cock with his thumb.

those starlight eyes that usually gleam in their faux innocence stare back at the fire in his eyes and you pout. wanting to touch daddy’s cock and taste him on your tongue. but your eyes tear up when he takes his thumb and suck the white cum into his mouth, not leaving enough for you to taste.

it makes you whip your head away from his handsome smug face. Ari doesn’t ignore the sniff out of you as he sets sight of your bare body in front of him. resting your elbows and body weight on the desk your arched back leaves loads of space for him to glide his hands through. running delicious shivers throughout your spine before he slaps your ass again. stinging and burning but your cunt creams in pleasure as you bite your bottom lip.

“my slutty princess wasn’t wearing a bra under daddies sweater? no panties under those scraps for a skirt? fucking knew you looked too good. wanted daddy to find out and ruin your tiny pussy, didn’t you? wanted to distract me from work? nasty little girl thinking she can get what she wants.”

not daring to let out another moan, his hand still gripping your hair loosens as his free hand rises up your waist to pinch a nipple. “answer me slut. you get nothing if you don’t,” his hiss rings and normally you would laugh at him in this state. telling off his stupid hunchmen on the phone as you got all hot and bothered as he yelled at them, making them beg for his forgiveness.

now you’re on the end of that anger; and you don’t mind it one but as his large calloused hands grab the fragments of your ripped skirt on the floor before analyzing your bare body arched pretty and posed for him. in nothing but your big girl heels with your cute lacy white socks, his cock is painfully hard now as the tip paints his abdomen in precum.

“yes daddy. I wanted you to fuck me. I wanted you to stop working because you haven’t touched me and I want cummies! I deserve cummies!” you cry but the words are too sloshed and unreadable from the lollipop in your mouth.

it’s quick that Ari takes the stick and pulls it away from your mouth with a swift and perky pop! a loud whine excludes your lips from his sole action but it’s replaced with a gasp as Ari slaps your mouth, “shut your big brat hole up before I stuff it shut myself,” and you moaned at him, fucking moaned at the threat.

it leaves him just as speechless as you, you’re face wafting in the heat of your embarrassment and you cower when his smirk curls deviously done on you. Ari wants you to cry- God he wants to rip your heart out and bandage it up with his cock

“dumb babies like you get what daddy gives you. nothing else, now grind on daddy’s thigh princess,” his rough command makes you freeze, not even daring to breathe for a second.

wondering if he’s being serious, and it’s as if he could read the confusion buzzing in your head he decides to clear it up. the harsh and stinging spank awakes you from your overthinking session and you get to work. working to gain the same pleasurable friction you were enjoying moments ago.

your hands gripe the edge of his desk till your knuckles bulge out around your soft skin. rocking your hips against the roughness of his jeans, this time no panties are in the way as your slickness flows freely. lubricating your folds and soaking his thigh with your juices, it makes him chuckle when he feels your wetness soak through the fabric onto his thigh. you’re so pretty and obedient he could fuck your till you couldn’t think or stand.

“do you think you can finish your coloring page before you cum princess? show me how good you are at coloring.”

Ari’s artificially sweet remark makes you whimper, just as artificial as the cherry heart lollipop you were licking. not hesitating or wasting a minute, you quickly grab your coloring book and markers and get straight to work.

thankful you didn’t have to color much, one good thing leading you to this moment you could feel your orgasm nearing. the high peak that you’re getting closer and closer to, you want to jump off the cliff and dive into the waves of your pleasure. who knows what daddy would do if you didn’t finish your drawing on time, you needed to fucking cum.

you always got what you fucking wanted regardless what daddy thought, but maybe you spoke to soon-

“please princess, daddy knows you can grind harder on that. show me how much of a slut you are for daddy’s thigh,” you whimper at his command and obey immediately.

grinding harder against him, his teeth biting the soft bit of ear as his fingers roll your hard nipples. slightly wincing and deeply moaning, you can’t help but allow him to make you slip in that space of mindless obedience.

daddy always made you a moaning wet mess, always desperate for his approval and sweet honeyed praises. glassy eyes concentrating on your coloring sheet, it was becoming difficult to focus on coloring as you rocked your hips. trying desperately to withhold your orgasm but desperately trying to please daddy and grinding harder. hot tears springing in your eyes at the havoc situation, you let out a sob as your rock against Ari’s thigh.

Ari only but cooed at you, thumbing away your hot salty tears. “what a little crybaby,” he chuckles through a fake sympathetic smile. fisting his hard slippery cock in one hand as the other crept down to rub your little button. if anything Ari wants more now is for you to cry- it’s getting his cock harder and harder as the tears drip onto the coloring sheet.

“daddy I-I can’t color that fast!” that cry as his thick fingers advancing in their speed and pressure. stroking the puffiness of your folds before brushing against your drenched hole.

taking not a single ounce of regard to your wail, he responds only by pinching your pussy lips. causing you to cry out in sudden pain before he strokes your pussy to calm you. thick digits gathering up your arousal, your folds creating a lewd serenade in the golden tint of his office.

“you can’t color that fast? my stupid little princess doesn’t know how to color quick enough? to color a small stupid drawing before she can cum? huh, princess? answer me!”

there doesn’t need to be any tugging at your hair or harsh slap to your ass for you to quiver against him. Ari- your daddy has a magical way of making you submit with just the ease of his words but you don’t know how to answer him at all but to keep coloring. marshmallow tears streaming down your face like shooting stars, you continue to reach your high your daddy assists you on reaching but denies.

however Ari is noticing that you’re practically almost done coloring the picture, by the time you’re finished you’d probably cum and fufill his order. oh he couldn’t let that happen. his spoiled brat wasn’t gonna cum until he felt she deserved so, which wasn’t gonna be anytime soon if he could do anything about it.

quick hands slap down on your ass, causing the marker in your hand to scribble slightly over the lines. a gasp escaping your lips your bottom lip trembling at the sight and rushing figuring out how to fix it. scarlet heels clacking together, his hands stop tracing the lace of your socks at your ankles.

ravishing in your panicked state, he smirks into your hair. grabbing the lollipop he snatched from you earlier from the desk, taking it into his mouth with a satisfying pop! ignoring your offended and hurt whimpers as your daddy steals your reward away from you due to your clumsiness. it makes your vision blurry and your bottom lip tremble violently, head echoing in only one thought and one thought only-

daddy is so mean, daddy’s a big fat meanie.

your thoughts roar but you didn’t mean to say any of them aloud, you’re so caught up in the moment that you have no idea you did so because now your ass is getting spanked again and again and again and again. all until your peach flesh burns and Ari can see the indents of his fingers on that heart shaped ass he loves so much before bringing his hand back in your hair.

tugging it so your spine suddenly arches back so his lips brush your ear, a gasp escaping your mouth. “I can be meaner princess. you stop coloring and I won’t let you cum. do you understand that? stupid whore.”

the growl rolls off his lips and it just adds onto the sheet of sweats glistening off your skin. tears drop from your lashes as shaky, trembling hands grip the markers as you persist on finishing the coloring page. feeling your body is on fire, your sobbing cunt continues to rock against his loins and the pleasure is almost unbearable you whimper.

the smirk plastered on Ari’s face is sinful, his hands unbutton his shirt to leave his chest bare. golden pendant glistening in the light bulbs of his office. back muscles resting against the leather of his office chair, he strokes his throbbing cock. biting his bottom lip enjoying the naked sight of his desperate slut for a precious princess bouncing and rocking on his thigh.

arms bended calmly behind his head, biceps slightly flexing as he licks on the lollipop he took from you. humming from its sweet taste while imagining it’s the nipples of your tits, his tongue flicking over the heart shape- sucking sharply on it. savoring the sweet cherry taste as his hands graze up to gripe your bouncing tits. savoring in your heavy moans, stiff sniffles and stuttering sobs all on the account of him.

like taking candy from a baby, his baby.

Ari thinks as he watched your ass bounce, sweat glistening off your skin as your heeled feet shake. moving back in your high unaware matter, your ass unintentionally brushes roughly against his balls. causing you to gasp and your daddy to grunt, ordering you to do it again which you do.

suddenly the thought of fucking your other tight hole full of his white ropes of cum takes over his mind but he was enjoying you trying to find a release. “maybe if you color the picture really nice for daddy then daddy will let you cum,”

Ari spoke, his voice soft and tender like always despite the current moments of viscously degrading and name calling you. you’ve always craved this part of him but who knew it would hurt your heart so fucking good with each insult and slap to your heart shaped ass.

although the remark creates a hopeful glisten in your relieved eyes, posture relaxing a bit. you were certain you wouldn’t be able finish it on time but maybe if you focus on making it look pretty- regardless of a few white spaces- daddy would let you have your cummies. Ari would kiss you on your pretty lips and make you undone with the sweetest command.

oh how you craved it this moment it’s bringing more tears to your eyes.

“r-really daddy?” you stutter, imagining the tenseness of his thigh as his cock. squeezing it just right around your walls as your eyes glue on the coloring sheet. grinding your pussy harder onto his jean covered thigh that let’s all your high pitched and stuttering moans flow like honey, “you really mean it?”

a dark glint shines in Ari’s blue hues, taking the lollipop out of his mouth his hand rubs his shaft painfully slow. that thumb that has been teasing your button glides past his weeping tip, his burning blue glance shifting to you. until his hand reaches up, causing you to moan when he grabs a handful of your hair.

oh how he was going to tear his poor princess down after building her a sense of hope.

“no,”

[heyitssmiller]

Bewitched, Body and Soul

So... this happened. Blame the Discord. Basically, the premise is receiving a note from a stranger about having similar tastes in books, and my first thought was Finn/Leo. And now, around 24 hours later, this showed up in my word document. Hope y’all like it!! And don’t worry, I’ve already got a sequel planned with Logan ;)

All characters, of course, belong to the wonderful @lumosinlove

And, if you’re so inclined, check out my Masterlist if you enjoy this story! <3

CW: food/drink

.

Leo loved this bookstore. There was a west-facing windowfront that allowed all sorts of afternoon light to shine through, creating a large, warm sunspot right in Leo’s favorite armchair. The shelves were always neatly organized by category, there was a featured book of the week, and there was a coffee shop sequestered to one corner of the building. What else did he need in life? He’d spent countless hours here, sitting with a new book and a cup of coffee or tea and getting lost in whatever world he’d been transported to within the crisp pages and black ink. Being new to the city, there were probably better ways to make friends, but there was something so soothing, so comfortingly familiar about shutting off the worry in his mind and just focusing on the story unfolding in his hands.

But when his stomach growled loudly in protest, he figured he needed to put reading on hold.

There was a wrinkled, jagged-edged scrap of paper sitting on top of Leo’s book when he returned to his table, café pastry in hand. It hadn’t been there a second ago. Curiously, Leo set his food down and inspected the foreign paper. Messy, inelegant scrawl slanted across the page in deep blue ink. The lines were uneven and chaotic; the i’s weren’t even dotted, almost as if it took too much effort to go back and add them in. Leo found it strangely endearing. It read:

           Hi!

           I don’t think we’ve met, but based on your choice of literature I think we would make great friends. :)

-        Carrot Top

Leo smiled, read it again, and looked around for the person who sent it but no one acknowledged him, seemingly lost in stories of their own. So he sat there, a smile still on his face as he got back to his book, using the note as a bookmark.

~~~

Finn couldn’t help himself when, a few days later, he left another note after seeing the guy with good taste in books again at the bookstore. He was at what must have been his usual table, seemingly right where Finn had left him. The only difference besides the clothes he was wearing was the book he was reading. Finn let himself linger on his profile, just for a second – the gentle slope of his nose, the way his curls rested against his forehead, how bright blue eyes scanned the pages below him.

Finn wasn’t one for love at first sight; that was for romance novels only. But instant attraction? Oh yeah. He was definitely there.

He picked up a small flyer from the front desk, flipped it over, and began to write.

And maybe it wasn’t a good way of, as the kids said these days, “shooting his shot”. But it was a start. And it was fun – the thrill of trying not to get caught, the anonymity. Sure, one day he’d maybe get up the courage to talk to him in person, but he was happy with this for now.

           Hmm… haven’t read that one. Might have to get myself a copy!

-        The Walking Freckle

After dropping the note off while the blond walked off to take a phone call, Finn tried to act casual as he stared sightlessly down at his own book instead of over at the cute stranger like he desperately wanted to.

Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious…

If he was being completely honest, he didn’t really know where to go from here. Did the blond think the notes were creepy? Or weird? He never seemed to mind much, but… well, a stranger was repeatedly leaving notes for him. What if it was making him uncomfortable? Would it make things better or worse if Finn introduced himself?

A snort came out, unbidden. Yeah. Right. That would go well. Finn could practically see it now: he would be clumsy and awkward, probably spilling coffee all over the guy’s book or – even worse – all over him. He’d scare him off for sure.

But at the same time, Finn wanted nothing more than to meet him. To sit down across the table from him and debate the points of the book he was reading, or give book recommendations, or just talk. About literally anything. Finn wasn’t a picky guy. He could sit there and let him speak for hours, absorbing any and all knowledge about him like a sponge. Did the corners of those bright, blue eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiled? Did his cheeks get all flushed when he was passionate about something, just like Finn’s? What was the story behind the soft-looking tuft of gray hair at his temple?

Who was he?

Finn was overflowing with questions, and desperate for the answers.

But he needed to go about this the right way, didn’t he? The last thing he wanted to do was screw this up. So he closed his book, propped his chin in his hand so that he could stare out the window, and started to plan.

~~~

The next note threw Leo for a bit of a loop. He’d saved his table with his coat thrown over one of the chairs and went up to the New Books section, surreptitiously keeping an eye on his table and hoping that he’d catch his note-sender red-handed.

Leo could’ve sworn that he’d looked away for half a second, but – well, he got distracted by a book, so it easily could’ve been five minutes for all he knew. This note was written on one of the café napkins, the ink bleeding through in some spots and a few small tears in the delicate material.

Nice choice! That book absolutely shattered my heart and then pieced it back together. The way she writes love lost just hurts so beautifully, doesn’t it?

I like your sweater by the way.

Fuck I hope that’s not creepy.

I’m not a stalker, I promise. I just think you’re really cute. And you have amazing taste in books. I’d like to learn more, if you’d let me. :)

But first, you have to figure out who I am! Good luck!

-        Your Not-So-Secret Admirer in the Tortoiseshell Glasses

He smiled, wide and happy, and looked around for tortoiseshell glasses, red hair, and freckles. Those were the only three clues he had so far. So he quickly scanned the crowded café, looking for anyone who fit the description. The only one even close was a freckled, redheaded guy at the corner table, but no glasses.

That was a shame, too. He was stunning.

The mystery bibliophile must already be gone, then. Or hiding.

Looked like Leo had his work cut out for him. He did always like a challenge.

~~~

It probably wasn’t Finn’s best idea to take his glasses off. He couldn’t see a damn thing and was left squinting down at his book, trying to determine if what he was seeing was an F or a P.

That smile, though… he could’ve seen that dimpled smile from all the way across the street.

He never thought he’d be pining for a stranger like this, but then again – he wasn’t a complete stranger, was he? After all, you could learn a lot about a person by their book preferences. Finn wasn’t normally known for being a good judge of character – he was too optimistic, too unwilling to see the bad in people. But damn, did he hope he was right about this one.

~~~

Finn had probably been too bold with the note he’d just dropped off, but when he’d seen what book that his new maybe-friend was reading, he knew he couldn’t just pass up an opportunity like that.

He didn’t wait to see the reaction this time – he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He just left the short note on top of the book while the blond was at the café counter and booked it (pun definitely intended) out of there as fast as he could.

           You have bewitched me, body and soul. <3

-        Bambi

~~~

He should’ve waited. Leo’s reaction, all bashful smile and bright red face and pleased expression, would’ve been worth it.

~~~

Leo went back to the bookstore pretty much every day after that, intent on finding this person. Not only was this a fun little game they were playing, but it would be nice to finally have a friend in the city. He still didn’t know anyone besides his coworkers and… well, he was a little lonely. A friend would be nice, especially one who had a shared interest in books.

The only thing left to do was to find them.

Red hair, freckles, glasses, and big doe eyes.

Leo looked for the only four defining traits he had, methodically starting in the front of the store and weaving through isle after isle of bookshelves. When that proved unsuccessful he moved on to the café, gaze landing on the queue first before lurching to a stop at the glimpse of a shock of auburn hair in the far corner booth. Heart hammering in his chest, Leo used his height to his full advantage and peered over the line of people.

Freckles, Glasses, Big, doe eyes.

If he needed any more confirmation, the stranger – the very cute stranger – was reading the same book Leo had been reading a week ago. The one his anonymous friend said they hadn’t read yet.

It had to be him.

Leo didn’t let himself think about it too much – he knew he’d panic if he did. He just strode over and sat down across from him, setting his book down on the table with a quiet thud. The note-writer jumped a little, then lifted wide brown eyes to look up at him.

Oh, but he was gorgeous.

“So what part are you at?” Leo asked, eyes taking in everything they could now that he was close enough – that messy red hair that just barely curled at the ends, the hint of scruff on his jaw, brown eyes shifting from shade to shade in the afternoon light filtering through the window beside him. Soft, mesmerizing lips curved into the beginnings of a smile that Leo couldn’t help but be transfixed by. “Have you gotten to the part where Patroclus dies?”

Finn stared back, trying to look horrified but he knew he was smiling so much that they counteracted each other because, finally, he’d figured it out. “I can’t believe you’d break rule number one of having a reading buddy: don’t spoil the ending.”

Dimples.

“Oops.”

Finn was done for.

“I’m Finn,” he managed to stammer, aiming for his best smile and probably looking like he’d just tasted something awful instead.

“Leo,” his companion said with a warm smile. Then he frowned. “Wait, no. Go back. You can’t spoil the ending of a story that’s literally thousands of years old.” The blond leaned back in his chair, sipping his coffee and watching in amusement as Finn gaped at him in horror. He could feel his cheeks and ears getting red, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“That’s so not the point!”

Leo laughed, then motioned for Finn to state his case. And then Finn was off, forgetting all about his nervousness and tendency to be awkward. He ranted about that topic for… well, he didn’t really know how long, but it was a while. Leo didn’t even bat an eye, keeping pace well and interjecting with his own points calmly and collectedly – the gentle breeze to Finn’s tornado. He was smiling, too, even though sometimes he tried to hide it behind the rim of his coffee cup. And he was smart, Finn learned as they jumped from one topic to the next and the minutes ticked by. He knew a lot about literature, like Finn, but he could also make these random connections to all kinds of different topics that Finn would’ve never thought of, all while keeping up with Finn’s fast-paced brain and tendency to jump down rabbit holes.

It was an instant connection, the likes of which Finn had never experienced before. It was intoxicating. Finn felt like he could never get enough.

During a lull in between one conversation and the next, Leo pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it over, looking suddenly and inexplicably shy. Finn cocked his head confusedly, then unfolded the paper and looked down.

           Would you like to go on a date sometime?

PS: I’m free tonight if you are. :)

-        The Guy Who’s Been Crushing on You for Weeks

Finn’s heart threatened to burst. “Absolutely.” He hesitated, just for a second, then decided to go for it. “Are you free now? I know a pretty great café nearby.” With a wiggle of his eyebrows, he jerked his thumb at the bookstore café and earned a laugh. He wondered what he could do to earn another.

“Sounds perfect.”

They walked over to the counter together, the backs of their hands just barely brushing – it was still enough to make Finn hyperaware of every miniscule movement and get his pulse hammering. Leo was teasing Finn for his terrible eyesight in a soft, southern drawl – something Finn definitely wasn’t expecting but sure as hell wasn’t complaining about, his fingers deliberately playing with Finn’s now, and Finn knew it was going to be a good night. It was already a good night; how could it possibly get any better?

“What can I get for you?”

Leo and Finn looked up at the barista and their eyes widened in tandem as they took in thick chestnut waves, long, dark lashes, and bottle-green eyes. He wasn’t smiling, not necessarily. His expression was fairly neutral, all things considered – except for those eyes. If you stared at then long enough, you could see just the faintest whisper of amusement.

They both looked down slightly, searching for a nametag. There, in bold black letters, read:

Logan.

[solarwonux]

~8:00pm~

college!wonwoo x f!reader

warnings: smut, public sex, oral sex (male receiving), dirty talk, soft!dom wonu.

note: enjoy let me know your thoughts. Requests are open so if anyone wants to send any in I will accept lol. Thank you for reading,xx

masterlist

The minute the library closed, Wonwoo had his hand wrapped around your wrist, hastily pulling you to the forgotten encyclopedia section of the library. He wasted no time in pinning you against a bookshelf. The wooden shelves digging into your lower back as his lips trailed down your neck, leaving behind light bruises in their wake. “You’ve been teasing me all day.” He mumbled against your neck. He bit down gently, grabbing one of your thighs and wrapping it around his waist, grinding himself into your clothed core.

“I bet everyone here thinks you’re an innocent angel, but the pictures and videos I have on my phone say otherwise.” He pulled away from your neck, one of his hands tugging a strand of hair behind your ear. His palm resting against your cheek as his thumb caressed your red candy stained lips, from the lollipop you had indulged in earlier. And you were sure that was what finally had sent him over the edge. “Isn’t that right angel.” He teased. A smirk appearing on his face, his round glasses slowly sliding down his nose.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You smiled reaching over and pushing his glasses up. Your mouth opening up taking in his thumb. Your warm tongue running over the pad of his finger teasingly. He watched you with hunger in his eyes. A guttural groan falling out of his lips. His mind going back to how beautiful your lips looked around the cherry red lollipop you were sucking on earlier. He could still hear the noises you were quietly making while you sat in between him and Minghao at the front desk. The teasing glint in your eyes when you had turned to face him, sending him a wink. And he knew he wasn’t going to survive the minute the two of you were alone.

“Why don’t you show me what those innocent lips of yours can do princess?” He breathed out furrowing his eyebrows as you moaned around his thumb before releasing it with a pop.”Yes sir.” You smirked placing your hands against his chest and pushing him away, backing him up into the shelf behind him. “Do you think they can hear us?” You cocked your head to the side. You slid your hand down his front palming him, watching in satisfaction as he threw his head back in pleasure. It always amazed you how fast you could get him to melt underneath your touch.

“I think I want your pretty mouth around my cock before Minghao comes looking for us.” He said, one of his hands finding its way into your hair and tugging it. A whine escaping your mouth and you found yourself sinking down to your knees unbuttoning his dark jeans in the process. “What will your fangirls think when they find out that the nerdy librarian has a dark side and is fucking his coworker.” You teased taking him out of his boxers. You spit onto the palm of your hand before wrapping it around his length, moving it slowly.

“Frankly, I don’t give a shit.” He sighed his grip in your hair tightening. “Put that mouth to work before I fuck it.”

“I think I’d like that.” You smirked looking up at him doe-eyed your hand working on him at an agonizingly slow pace. You knew his patience was wearing thin just taking in the annoyed furrow on his face. The rush of adrenaline coursing through you as you stuck your tongue out taking the white pearl-sized bead of pre-cum that had formed on his reddened head. A content sigh falling out of your lips. “Tastes good.” You nodded in approval before connecting your lips onto the side of his cock kissing down it gently.

“B-Been drinking pineapple juice.” He sighed pushing your head onto him signaling he wanted more. But after all the work you had gone through to get him this worked up you weren’t going to give into him as easily. That might’ve been cruel on your part but Wonwoo had done worse to you in the past. This was just your cruel form of revenge and you were enjoying every second of it. “That works?” You questioned wrapping your lips around his angry head, running your tongue over the slit. “Don’t know you tell me?” He smirked gripping your hair tightly pushing your head down his shaft with caution. His other hand gripping the bookshelf until his knuckles started turning white. And oddly you were afraid he would break it.

You relaxed your mouth, taking him in as much as you could. The heat and wetness sending a chill up his spine as he tried everything in his power to not take over the reins like he usually did. You started bobbing your head around him, your hand moving along with you. Groans spilling out of his mouth as he watched you with intensity and fever. His cock sliding in and out painting the most sinful picture in his mind and he desperately wished he had his phone on him so he could add the image to his collection. His threaded fingers in your hair pulling the rest into a makeshift ponytail. As your name quietly spilled out of his mouth like a mantra. One he found himself repeating over and over again when he was with you or alone in his room.

Wonwoo threw his head back as you took more of him in your mouth. His tip hitting the back of your throat causing you to gag around him. His head perking up at the sound looking down at you and your flushed out cheeks. Fear running through his features when he noticed your watering eyes. You blinked rapidly loving the way he felt of having him on your tongue. Loving the way the air in your lungs was escaping. The adrenaline and dirtiness of it all enough to send you over the bender, and you desperately wanted his touch.

You dug your nails into his clothed thighs keeping him in place swallowing around him. The feeling sending him into a frenzy as you pulled away slowly. An immoral string of spit connecting you to him making you whimper as you sat back regaining your breathe. The elevator located a number of bookshelves away signaling that Minghao had finally made it onto the floor gave you the determination you needed to finish Wonwoo off.

“Don’t make a sound.” You winked before taking him in your mouth again. This time you wasted no time in pleasuring him. He let go of your hair as he gripped the the bookshelf behind him, as he started thrusting himself into your mouth fast. And you sat back letting him as he praised you for taking him like the good girl he knew you were. And with a few more hard thrusts he came crying out your name, spilling himself inside your mouth. One of his hands finding its way into your hair again and holding you against him as he rode out his orgasm. Your eyes finding his as the lust behind them grew darker and more intense. A satisfied moan left your lips as his bittersweet substance hit your taste buds and you wasted no time swallowing everything he had given you.

“Can’t believe you just sucked me off in the back of the library.” He breathed out guiding his cock away from your mouth making you pout. He laughed lowly at your reaction reaching over to wipe the corner of your mouth. You opened it and took his thumb in and closing your eyes and humming. And if it weren’t for Minghao’s footsteps getting closer and closer to the two of you, he would’ve bent you over and fucked you until you couldn’t walk. He retreated his hand tucking himself inside his pants again.

“You say that like this is the first time that’s happened.” You scoff getting up from your knees, reaching over and placing a soft peck against his lips. “By the way the pineapple juice is working.” You winked patting his chest lightly leaving him breathless as he watched you exit the aisle of dusty bookshelves. You spotted Minghao as his face grew into a wide smile and his strides got longer.

“I heard a scream did something happen?” He questioned stopping once he got in front of you. You blushed and looked back to find Wonwoo exiting the same aisle and smoothing out his hair. Your eyes growing wide as you wondered what state of dishevelment you were currently experiencing. “Woo saw a spider and freaked.” You smiled turning back to face the other boy in glasses. “Like always I had to come and save the day.”

“Don’t believe her it’s the other way around.” He teased and pushed his glasses up his nose, stopping a few feet behind you.

“Right, okay,” Minghao shook his head before turning to face you. A gentle smile adorning his features, enough to get your heart racing like you were back in high school. “Well I’m leaving now so you guys wouldn’t mind closing up right?” He scratched the back of his neck, a quirk of his that only seemed to appear when he was nervous and around you. “Yeah, I think Wonwoo and I can manage, we still haven’t put back the textbooks that were returned today.” You smiled giving Minghao a nudge on his shoulder. Wonwoo’s finally coming to stand next to you causing the butterflies to erupt in your stomach. The arousal that had pooled up between your legs as you were pleasing him getting worse when you felt his body heat lure you in.

“Night then.” He nodded. “See you at home Woo.” Minghao smiled raising an eyebrow as he looked between the two of curiously. For a moment you feared he had caught on and you knew Wonwoo thought the same as you felt his body tense up next to you. Instead he opened his mouth and then closed it before shrugging and turning around to leave. “I’ll close tomorrow night as a thank you.” He said over his shoulder and rounded the corner leading up to the front desk and out of your line of sight. You let out a low sigh of relief, managing to take a step forward before getting pulled back in by Wonwoo’s arm. Your back hitting his chest.

“Sometimes I hear him getting off to you, moaning your name as if he has no shame.” He whispers in your ear, biting your earlobe in the process. Your bottom lip finding its way between your teeth, holding back a moan. You felt Wonwoo’s hand make its way underneath your t-shirt, resting his palm against your stomach. You whimpered throwing your head back, melting underneath his touch. A knowing smirk appearing on his face before he attacked your neck again. This time making sure he was leaving his prominent marks on you.

“Tell me princess would you let him play with you the same way you let me if I wasn’t around.”

[yelenasdog]

the pillowtalk of a pessimist (spencer reid x fem reader)

genre: fluff with a millisecond of angst

summary: pillowtalk takes an interesting turn for spencer at the mention of the harsh realities of his work.

words: 1.3k, she’s a shorty.

warnings: nsfw themes (nothing smutty, it’s just implied and also directly stated that they slept together), typical criminal minds violence + death, and maybe cursing? idk. 

a/n: btw this isn’t the fic i was ranting on about that i’m writing, she’s still in the works. also! this could be an x oc or anybody bc i didn’t use y/n if you would prefer to read it as such.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

A pale stream of moonlight shone through the open window of apartment 23, the home of Doctor Spencer Reid. It illuminated a small section of his bedroom, specifically on one of his many floor to ceiling bookshelves, a beacon of knowledge that was there 24/7 for the taking.

The gold engravings on the spines of his many reads shimmered, a beautiful contrast to the dark mahogany the shelf was made out of.

The room smelled like a mixture of his cologne, her perfume (Chanel no. 5, specifically), and the results of their previous affairs that lingered in the crisp air of the night.

She took a deep breath, settling down further into the white duvet, pulling it over her bosom in response to the chilly temperature. The dark green walls of the room welcomed and calmed her, overwhelming the girl with a wave of serenity that could only be brought to her by him.

He quickly took note of her unsteady breathing and shift in position, immediately jumping to action. He pulled her closer by her shoulders with his strong arms, eliciting a squeal from her and a chuckle from him, more so at her reaction than the move itself.

Her head laid on his bare chest, her hair splayed out with half of it residing on his pillow, the other half on his bicep. She could have appeared to be an angel, although in his eyes, she truly was.

She rested her hand on the left side of his chest over his heart, her fingernail ghosting shapes on his tanned skin. Circles, squiggly lines, even abstract faces.

“How do you do it?”

Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. If his hearing wasn’t so acute, he was sure he would have missed it. This would have saddened the genius greatly, as he valued everything she had to say with a burning ferocity, and even one word lost would be a shame.

“What?”

He was confused by the nature of the question, attempting to search every corner of his brilliant brain for what she might have been referencing. Was it an equation? No, she hated math. Perhaps the way he so effortlessly could play any instrument because yet again, math. He decided that couldn’t be the subject at question either, she played better than he did, glorious melodies flowed from her fingertips. So the doctor was truly stumped.

The answer was simpler than he had imagined.

“Your job.”

With those doe eyes he was so fond of, she looked up, meeting his own glance.

If the term “heart eyes” was able to be personified, Spencer would be the guy to personify it whenever his eyes landed on the one in front of him.

“What do you mean? I get up in the morning, drink some coffee, and get to it.”

She giggled, but the sound he loved so much ceased with her pout.

“That’s not what I mean, Spence. How do you go on everyday, seeing body after body,” she trailed off, obviously distraught. Spencer wrapped his large hand tighter around her, placing his chin on her hairline.

“How do you consistently manage to look at these victims, these people, with lives that they never got to finish living-“ A tear slipped down her cheek, she bit her bottom lip, tasting her own salty droplets on her tongue. She sniffled, burying her head further in his neck with what he presumed was shame.

“And not break down when you do.” Her voice was muffled, but the emotions she felt were evident nonetheless.

He took a moment to carefully articulate an appropriate response. The gears in his mind turned ever so diligently, finding a solution to dry her tears.

“It’s not much different than what I initially said. I get up in the morning, drink some coffee.”

He pushed a hair away from her face, admiring her distinct features as he often did. She looked up, moving her left hand to trace his sharp jaw as he sat in thought.

“And I realize that these people that are now dead, are a part of the hundreds, of throusands, of millions of people that die every year. It’s a part of life, what gives it meaning.”

She gave a dry, humourless laugh.

“What, you don’t have a specific statistic for that?”

“Oh, I do, but I don’t think you want to hear it.” He tilted his head, weighing the option of disclosing the information but deciding against it.

“But the bottom line is, they have families. Families that are grieving, and hurting, and needing answers and justice. I cannot do my job and give them the closure they deserve if I’m staying focused on my own emotions and delving deep into who the victims were, rather than how to catch those responsible for hurting them.”

She moved on to her back, stilling managing to keep her eye contact with Spencer.

“But you’re a profiler! That’s what you do! You’re supposed to, what did you call it, ‘delve deep’ into who they are.”

“Pretty girl, are you trying to tell the one with 3 doctorates how to do his job?”

She rolled her eyes, lazily throwing a hand on his neck, right behind his ear. She ran it back and forth, savoring the intimate moment.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Agent.” She taunted, poorly trying (and failing) to agitate Spencer. She had a hunch (that was more true than either of them would let on) that it wasn’t possible for her to do so, and he found himself proving it to be correct.

“I just had to learn to let the family do what they had to do so that I could do the same.”

The girl’s tone softened as she spoke, staring at the popcorn ceiling.

“I guess so. I’m just too empathetic, my heart is too pure.” She joked, a feathery laugh falling past both of their lips.

“Of course. I would expect nothing less.” He teased back, enjoying the dynamic they both held in the tender moment.

“You amaze me.” She muttered, leaning in, analyzing him and his ruffled post-sex hair, his gorgeously long lashes, and his light 5 o’clock shadow that donned his chin.

He huffed quietly, doing the exact same thing, minus the scruff of course.

“I could say the same to you, pretty girl.”

Their lips connected once again, in a different manner than the feverish and needy kiss from before.

This time, it was a union of two individuals, allowing themselves to mould together in a way only the two of them could. It was slower and sweeter, with more feeling poured into their lips while they moved in sync.

“M’ tired.”

“Yeah? You wanna go to sleep, bubs?”

She grinned as she snuggled into his arms, her exhausted eyes fluttering to a close.

“Bubs, huh? That’s new.”

A worried frown made its way onto his face as he rushed to cover up his previous words.

“D-do you not like it? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable-“

“Spence.”

He stopped, looking over her for any microexpressions, only seeing positive signs. That wasn’t technically profiling, right? He hoped he would be in the clear if she ever was to find out.

“I love it, baby. Say it again.”

“Bubs?”

“Mhm. Say it again.” She sounded with content. He smirked, a proud feeling infiltrating his body, causing him to puff up his chest in the slightest way.

“Goodnight, bubs.”

He reached up, his paranoia forcing him to close the window above him, despite being a more than qualified FBI agent with a revolver safely tucked away in the top drawer of his night stand that never quite was shut all the way.

It was just the pessimist in him.

She wrapped around his figure, intertwining his form with her own.

“Sleep well, Spence.”

He felt happy with her, happier than he had been in a long time. He relished in that, allowing it to lull him to a well needed rest.

But what could he say, she just brought out the optimist in him.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

hj posting at a time that isn’t 3 am?????? unheard of. also i may or may not have pulled an all nighter to write whatever tf this is bc my ex posted something with his new gf and i felt pathetic LMAO. anyway, i hope your day is fabulous, go drink some water and remember things are what you make of them and it’s all about intent! love you, xx hj.

[blueposthings]

Little Informant (pt. 2)

Warnings: Violence, blood, language

Words: 2.1k+

---------------------------

You had taken your time in getting back home, the fifteen minute walk turned to two hours when you decided to take a stroll around town. It was late, too late for a frail girl like you to be roaming the streets of New York all by yourself. But you had to clear your mind. Besides, with your self-defense skills along with the trusty butterfly knife you always had with you at all times, you were pretty confident.

However, when you finally arrived back at your apartment, you had noticed several things out of place; the dust on the right side of the door frame, two feet above the floor, had a gap, you were sure you hadn’t touched it; the nail of one of the panels on the creaky floorboard was slanted, someone had tripped on it.

There was an intruder in your house.

You slowly grabbed your knife from your jacket pocket before reaching for your keys, intentionally shaking it in your fingers. You turned your keys and opened the door with your left hand, the knife on your right, ready to fight. When no one ambushed you, you crouched down like you were going to untie your shoes when in fact you reached for the gun you had stored below the shoe cabinet.

You replaced the knife in your hold with the handgun, holding it firmly with both of your hands before peeking out from the corner of your doorway. Sure enough, stood a man about six feet tall dressed in all black in your poor excuse of a kitchen, you noticed he was holding a pistol of his own in one hand and a framed picture of you and your father in the other.

“You do look like him, you know?” He said, acknowledging your presence.

“Who are you?” You had your gun trained on him. Your gaze unwavering, despite your heart trying to beat out of your ribcage.

“You can consider me an old family friend.” The man placed the frame back to the countertop as he turned to you.

“Why are you here?” You stood your ground at the front doorway as he approached you slowly, his gun in hand.

“When you opened that laptop, it sent a signal to us. We thought Rumlow had come back from the dead so I offered to go.” He said, ever so casually. “Then I found these photos and, I gotta say, I’m quite surprised. I never took your father as- well, a father.”

He was only a few feet in front of you now, your gun pointed straight to his chest. “I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

“If you’re anything like Brock, you could be a great asset to us, Y/N-”

“How do you know my name?”

“Perhaps, you might want to consider joining us? Your father would be proud.”

“I’m not an asset,” you gritted out. “And I’m nothing like him.”

This perked your intruder’s attention, his head tilted slightly to the side. “Oh?”

You realized then that you might have spilled something you shouldn’t have. You felt your heart drop to your stomach, your hands struggling to keep your weapon steady.

“Do tell me, Y/N. What did you do with the information from that laptop?” His tone was now much sharper, accusing.

You searched your brain to try and find a believable lie, something that wouldn’t put your life in danger. In your moment of silence, the man in front of you grew impatient and furious.

“Where were you just now?”

“None of your business.” You finally said, your voice giving you away with a crack.

“What a shame.” The man sighed, bowing his head to the floor for a second. “I hope Brock’s gonna forgive me for this one.” Then he raised his gun at you, with anger in his eyes.

Time seemed to slow down when you pulled your trigger. However, the man managed to avoid it at the last second, the bullet only hitting his shoulder. The force pushed him back and he let go of his gun, his good hand holding his wound.

“Little shit.” He cursed before charging at you.

You re-aimed your gun, but due to the close distance between the two of you, he successfully pushed it away. He used his whole body weight to knock you back to the wall, resulting in you losing your grip of the pistol in your hand. You grabbed your knife from your pocket, forcing the butt to his head, making him groan as he stumbled ever so slightly. You pushed him back by the injured shoulder, your thumb digging in to the bullet wound. You then kneed him in the stomach, your dominant hand twirling open the knife and stabbing him in the back. You pushed his body off of you with all your might and tried to make a run for it.

You only managed to get a couple of steps away when he grabbed your foot. You tripped and fell face first to the floor. You groaned, your head was spinning and you could feel blood oozing from your nose. The intruder dragged himself up with his good arm while you tried to collect yourself. You still had the knife in your hand so you tried to land another stab to his leg, but he blocked it, grabbing your hand and twisting it so you’d drop the weapon. But what you lack in size and power, you made up with agility -when he yanked your arm up, you used the momentum to help you jump up and straddle his neck with your two legs, your arms holding him in a choke hold. He tried to get you off but between the bullet and the stab wound, he was already losing a lot of blood. He stumbled around, crashing through your coffee table and one of your bookshelves. At one point he went close enough to the TV stand where you had an old glass vase on top. You grabbed the vase and swung it to his face, it broke and he fell unconscious with you below him. You were sure you must have heard a crack, but with the adrenaline numbing your pain you couldn't tell if it was his bone or yours.

------------

When you noticed he wasn’t moving, you took a second to collect your breath. Eventually, you pushed him off and got up, grabbing your knife and both guns before running off.

“And we believe the kid?” Clint crossed his arms. He stared at the back of his teammate’s head, almost seeing the cogs in his skull turning.

“Yes, I know she was telling the truth.” Steve said, his voice an octave lower than it usually is. “I could feel it.”

“No offense, Cap. But when it comes to the sake of the planet’s security, I would rather not go on gut feeling.”

“Have you considered maybe this is just your guilt speaking?” Natasha chimed into the conversation from the other side of the table.

Steve was silent for a moment. “It’s not,” he finally said, although it seemed like he was trying to convince himself more than anything.

“As much as I hate to say this, but I think the oldman’s right,” Tony sat back down on the closest chair to the front of the room. “I don’t think she was lying, at least not about this.”

“I say, it is better to be safe than sorry.” Vision spoke up, his gaze not leaving the files displayed on the holograms.

“He’s got a point. We have this information- the location of everything. Why don’t we go see for ourselves.” Rhodes added.

When no one interjected, the room took it as an agreement. Tony was about to tell FRIDAY to display the closest base that they could locate when the A.I. had another idea.

“Tony, there has been a 911 call from the address you told me to look out for.”

This got the man on his feet. “When?”

“Just a few seconds ago. The neighbors reported hearing gunshots and loud crashes. The police are on their way, they should arrive in eight to ten minutes.”

“We can get there in two.”

----------------

They got to your apartment in exactly eighty four seconds. Tony, along with Steve, Clint, Sam and Natasha rushed past some of your curious neighbors and arrived in front of your door. Your keys were still in the door knob when Natasha pushed the door open. Obviously the first thing they noticed was the situation of your living room. And the unconscious man on the floor.

Clint approached the bleeding man, checking for a pulse. “He’s alive, barely.”

Natasha tossed him a pair of handcuffs and the archer gathered the unknown man’s hands before securing him. She then entered a nearby closet in an unsuccessful attempt of finding the apartment’s owner.

The rest of them looked around the ransacked apartment trying to get an idea of what happened or who this man was. Steve picked up one of the photographs that was shattered on the floor, the one your intruder was looking at earlier. There was a pit forming in his stomach as he processed what he was seeing. You’d taken the photograph at your middle school father-daughter dance. He was always at work, but that day he had taken a day off to attend the event for you, even took you shopping to get a nice pastel pink dress and a tie for him to match. You grinned in that photo, unintentionally showing off your braces; your father had his hand around your frame, a gentle yet charismatic smile adorning his lips.

Sam went further to the apartment, ending up in your room. He took in the decorations -or rather lack thereof. Your walls contrasted those of the living room, aside from one old poster of a band Sam didn’t recognize, there was only a bed in the centre of the room. He stepped out of the room and entered another. There was more personality, more life, in this room. Ironic really, seeing as it was your late father’s. There were pictures of him and you on his bedside table, among other things. His bed was unmade but dusty. He spotted a glimmer beyond the papers strewn across the floor. Curiosity led him to picking it up; it was a dog tag. He pocketed it before appearing back to the rest, shaking his head.

“Hey kid!” Tony hollered. “It’s Tony! With The Avengers?”

Silence.

Suddenly the front door re-opened with a force. The five heroes immediately got to a fighting stance.

“NYPD! Put your hands where I can see ‘em!”

The team sighed, half in relief and half disappointment. Upon realizing that the Avengers themselves were in front of them, the police officers lowered their weapon with faces full of questions.

“With all due respect,” one of them spoke nervously, “what are you guys doing here?”

“Our jurisdiction.” Tony snarked with sarcasm before going back to looking around the room.

“That man needs medical help.” Natasha stepped up to the officer, pointing at the body on the ground. “We don’t know who he is yet but we assume he’s bad so keep an eye on him.”

Steve rested his shield on his arm before picking up one of the framed pictures that looked the most recent before giving it to a different officer. “Look for this girl, she might be in danger. And injured.” It was one your father had taken of you only a few months before you last saw him, you had grown a little since then but Steve thought it should do.

“There might be no need for that,” Tony called. “One of the security cams across the street spotted a girl running away from this building, must be her.”

Steve nodded. “Let’s go.” And with that they were off, leaving the police to take care of the crime scene and culprit while they search for you with the guidance of FRIDAY.

----------------------

You finally decided you couldn’t run any further; your chest was heaving, your head was spinning, your back was killing you, and you’re pretty sure the man had sprained your arm. You stopped at an empty alley, a good block away from your building. You let your body slide down the wall to the concrete below you in exhaustion. You lifted your shirt up to see a purple bruise starting to form on your upper stomach. You raised your hand to wipe off the blood staining your face but only ended up spreading the red liquid everywhere before you limped, your muscles giving out. You sighed, turning your brain trying to find out how you were going to get out of this one.

Then you felt a presence to your left. Your instincts kicked in, grabbing the gun you had carried and aiming it to the figure.

“Wow, hey. Put that down.” The figure said, three more people emerging behind him. “It’s me.”

God damn the Avengers. You thought, lowering the gun in your hand. You let your head lull back to the wall behind you.

You heard a metal clink from your other side. “You’ll manage, huh?”

You couldn’t find the energy in you to return the attitude.

Tag list: @iamthescarlettwitch @sincerely-kizzy @ineedmorefanfics @moonyinthestars

I know this is very much long overdue, i hope you'll still enjoy it regardless xx

[jimlingss]

The Art of Benefits

➜ Words: 9.8k

➜ Genres: 50% Fluff, 50% Smut, FWB!AU

➜ Summary: There's only one aspect of your life that's missing: sex. But you know yourself. You catch feelings as quickly as you catch colds. But when your friend arranges a meeting with a certain Park Jimin, you'll become inclined to learn the craft of detachment, aka. the art of benefits.

➜ Warning: sex, sexual discussions, toys, sucking dick, period sex, etc.

cr.

[2nd Year Fall Semester]   Life as a sophomore wasn’t shabby.   Assignments, papers and midterms came and went with decent grades that you eventually forgot about. Lectures, club meetings, and studying took most of your time too. But Christmas was arriving and that meant it was sweater weather. It also meant that snow was dusting from the sky and you were watching couples cozying up and keeping each other warm from across the dining center.   It was unfair really. You were cold too. In fact, most of the time you happen to be cold. And while relationships were too much of a time commitment for you to take on, you deserved a cuddle buddy just as much as the next person. Or a fuck buddy. Either works really.   You’ve never been opposed to a friends with benefits relationship.    The only problem is, it would never work for you.   But if you somehow learnt to detach your emotions, it could be the most efficient thing yet. After all, good sex with another warm body was the only aspect in your life that you were missing.   “I mean it’s possible. A lot of people start friends with benefits relationships on campus,” Wendy says as she stuffs her face with her sub sandwich and muses mid-chew, “There’s actually a lot of candidates to choose from.”   You’re exasperated at her nonchalance. As if it’s as easy as going to the supermarket and picking someone up. “Who?!”    You need someone who would be on the same page as you, with the same priorities, a good sex partner who wouldn’t catch feelings either. But frankly, you don’t know that many people.    “Well, what about that guy from your class that you were crushing on? Didn’t you say he was super smart? Might help you on your assignments too.”   “Namjoon?” You shake your head. “He’s got a girlfriend.”   “Okay. What about that older guy in your board games club?”   “No. Seokjin’s graduating next semester.”   Wendy hums, eyes flickering around the dining hall center as she contemplates. “How about Yoongi? From what you’ve told me, he seems pretty cool.”   You loll your head to one side and stab your sweet and sour chicken. “I’m not going to sleep with someone from work. That sounds like a disaster waiting.”   “Jungkook?”   “That’s weird. We went to the same elementary school together.” You can still remember his bowl cut hair as clear as day, and not to mention, the two of you share a group of friends. If things go downhill, it would be a complete mess. The epitome of inefficiency. Which is counterproductive to your goal.   “Taehyung?” At this point, Wendy’s just listing out random people that you know, but you play along just for amusement.   “Nah. Yena has a crush on him.”   She takes another clean bite of her sandwich. “What about that guy that works at that McDonalds that you find cute. What’s his name? Hugo? Howard?”   “Hoseok,” you correct with a feigned glare that makes her smile. “And that’s a big fat no. He doesn’t even know I exist. What am I supposed to do? Waltz up to him and ask to be fuck buddies?”   She grins. “Well, I mean—”   “It wouldn’t work,” you deadpan before she laughs and in turn, makes you giggle too.   The chatter of the room settles in your ears as background noise. You gaze out the window to the sparkling snow piles that reflect the lampposts soft, white light. The sun has long fallen even though it’s only six p.m. The low lights peeking through the somber clouds covering the horizon does little. You dread the thought of having to venture out into the cold and catch the bus home.   You don’t notice how Wendy’s looking at you while she sips on her water. Not until she hums. “You know what? I know someone I could hook you up with.”   Your brow cocks and the corner of your mouth twitches. “Is he a fuckboy?”   Your long time friend shrugs with a glint in her eyes that makes you unsure if she’s serious or not. Wendy once joked that she had a boyfriend from Northern Canada and convinced you hard enough that you legitimately believed her for a good month. So you can never be quite certain when it comes to her. For all you know, she could just be making it up to entertain you.   “Sort of, but he’s a nice one.” Wendy stays vague. “He was my lab partner.”   You stare at her and when her expression remains blank, you scoff. “Sure, sure,” you draw out the syllables with a small laugh and bat the air with your hand just to end the conversation.   And when it’s never discussed again, Wendy moving on to tell you a story about something she suddenly remembers, you’d one day come to realize that was a terrible, terrible mistake.   //   That one day is now.   3:50pm. Wendy: hey i set up a meeting what that guy 3:50pm. Wendy: third floor library  3:50pm. Wendy: he’s in a red hat btw   The text comes right when you’re leaving your last lecture of the day.   3:51pm. Y/N: what guy   3:53pm. Wendy: your future fwb   3:53pm. Y/N: ?????????????????????????????????/ 3:53pm. Y/N: ???????????????? 3:54pm. Y/N: wtf i wasn’t SERIOUS   3:54pm. Wendy: wat   3:54pm. Y/N: I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING   3:56pm. Wendy: lmao too late 3:56pm. Wendy: at least meet him he’s waiting sis   3:54pm. Y/N: can’t you cancel?????????   3:57pm. Wendy: n a h   You nearly burst an artery in your temple at the emojis and memes she spams to you.   3:59pm. Wendy: I already told him the gist btw 4:00pm. Wendy: don’t chicken out   With no other choice, you make a u-turn and head towards the library with too many thoughts swirling inside your brain. Chances are this stranger is going to see you, think you’re ugly as shit and try to back out of it. It’s going to be awkward as all hell and you’re not sure you’re ready to have this traumatizing memory for the rest of your life.   Then again, you wonder how Wendy even convinced this dude to meet up. If he’s really that easy going. If this is a typical thing people do now. Or maybe Wendy showed a picture of you on your insta and he agreed afterwards — it wouldn’t be the first time she did that, much to your embarrassment. But you hope it’s the latter case. At least that eliminates the possibility of him trying to backpedal his way out of it after seeing your face.   You also wonder how the hell you’re going to find him. The library is full of students, the rowdy ones and the studious ones being disturbed by them. You wonder what he looks like, what he’ll be like. Third floor. Male. Red hat.   You arrive at the appropriate floor and begin scanning the premise, walking around as your eyes sweep the area. Almost immediately you catch a brunette hunched over and on his phone by the table. He’s wearing a red cap on backwards, purple tee shirt. He has a frat boy aesthetic.   Not really the type you go for.   Looking over him, you round the computers, bookshelves and tables. But finding no one else with a red hat on the third floor, you sharply inhale and approach the boy with his fluffy cheek rested in his hand, arm propped up on the table lazily. Scrolling through his phone.   “Excuse me.”    Your voice is light and hesitant as if you were asking help from someone at the front desk and not seeing if this was a potential fuck buddy. It’s mortifying to say the least.   His head lifts, brown eyes catching the lights.   You clear your throat. “Wendy…”   ���Oh. You’re her, right?” He smiles and thankfully, doesn’t seem to be disappointed. “Wendy’s friend?”   “Yeah. I’m Y/N.”   “Jimin.”   Now that you get a closer look, he’s kind of cute. But you don’t dwell. Or look him in the eye.   It feels like a job interview. But worse. “You were Wendy’s lab partner?”   “That’s me.” He pockets his phone. “I’m a kines major. You?”   “I’m in the arts faculty. Political science.”   “Cool, cool.” Jimin nods and then gets to business without any shame, “So Wendy already told me about it. You’re looking to have a friends with benefits relationship?”   “Yeah….about that….”   “I’m down if you are.” His hand opens up, gesturing to you. You’re not sure how you feel about how laid-back he is, but he remains upfront which you suppose is the right thing to do. “I have a dorm room in the Sierra building by the engineering faculty building if you know where that is.”   “I’ve walked past it before.”   “Cool. Anyway, my last f.w.b. ended two months ago and I kind of miss it,” he quickly clarifies, “The sex, I mean.”   You’re speechless and contemplating if you really want to do this. You know if it works out, it’ll be fairly efficient. You’ve always gotten off by yourself and while it works, it’s not something you’d call completely satisfying. Having someone’s help— good help — is a change you’ve been considering. But a friends with benefits situation has always been one of those ‘what if’ scenarios. You've just never had an opportunity like this to make it actually happen.   Jimin senses your hesitance and leans forward. He lowers his volume. “Are you a virgin? Cause I’m cool with—”   You scoff. “No. I’m not. I just...haven’t done something like this before.”   “Friends with benefits?” His question is answered by your body language. “It’s not bad. Safer than one night stands and more consistent too. You don’t have to go out and find someone every time you want to have sex. And it’s a low level commitment.”   The corner of your mouth pulls and you agree. “It’s efficient. But...I need time to think about it.”   “Sure. Tell me when you make up your mind. I’ll give you my number.” He opens his hand again and you pass him your phone. He quickly types it in. “Take your time.”   //   And you do.   You weigh the pros and cons against each other, considering every possibility and all the consequences. Part of you wants to just go for it. The same part that once decided in high school at midnight that bangs would be a hot look on you. (It wasn’t). The part of you that dyed your hair blue that one summer on a whim. The part that doesn’t want to think and wants to jump head first into things. Jimin made a lot of good pointers too and you’re certain this would be a good outlet. An experience. It helps that he’s quite attractive too and seems to be trustworthy and rational.   Yet, part of you wonders if it would be a bad decision.   There’s a chance that you might catch feelings. For you, it wouldn’t be unheard of either. You have a tendency to catch feelings as fast as you catch colds. And you already know that’s the demise of these kinds of relationships. Once a party gets involved too deep, it’s game over. There’s nothing but heartbreak.   The only way it would work is if you minimize your interactions with him.   The less attached you are, the less likely you are to develop feelings for him since the only way you would like anyone is if you knew them. So the less you know, the better the outcome.    It’s an equation.    It’s the art of the benefits.   And if that works, if you master the art, it would solve every potential issue.   The dorms for sophomores are bigger than the ones for first year freshmen. Instead of a single room with two beds on either side by the walls, there are private bedrooms with just a shared bathroom, a main living space and kitchen.    “Bathrooms are over here,” Jimin gestures. There’s one room at the end of the hall and another one beside his. “Both my roommates are out, so you don’t have to worry. They’re pretty nice.”   You feel awkward lingering at the entryway with your backpack on.   You clear your throat. “Can I get a drink?”   “Oh yeah. There’s new water bottles by the sink, I think, and there’s orange juice in the fridge if you’d like.”   “No, I mean, do you have anything alcoholic?” you correct and he blinks at you owlishly before smiling. You drop your bag and find it in the fridge, a whole vodka bottle. You fill a shot up with a glass on the drying rack. The clear liquid burns as it travels to the back of your throat. The bitter taste nearly makes you gag, but you feel your face warm and you ease even more, knowing it works.   In the meanwhile, Jimin studies you, standing from across the kitchen island. His hands are casually dug into the pockets of his gray sweats. “We won’t have to follow through with this, you know. I’m fine either way.”   “No,” you quickly refute, irrationally afraid he’s changed his mind. And the words spill out of you as you cringe, “I’m horny as shit, I’mjustnervous.”   The guy smiles, eyes slightly crinkled when he does so. “Of what?”   “A lot of things.” You don’t pour a second shot even though you kind of want to. But you have things to do tomorrow, so you can’t nurse a hangover and you most certainly don’t want to be drunk while doing this. “If you didn’t notice, I don’t do this often.”   While you’re at it, you tell him, “I don’t know how to suck dick.”   He leans against the counter, grinning. “Okay. I don’t mind.”   “Also, if you haven’t noticed either, my ass is kind of deflated.”   Jimin shrugs. “I’m more of a boob man anyway.”    You narrow your eyes, not sure if he’s lying or trying to make you feel better.   But there’s no time to dwell when he seriously asks— “Do you still want to do this?”   It takes a second for you to muster your courage. And once you do, you know you won’t back down. “All right. Let’s do this!” You walk into his room like you’re about to go fight off a monster.   Behind you, Jimin grins and it takes a good moment for him to calm you down.   “Are you okay with kissing?” he asks, door shut and distance closed. He’s intimately close and you nod.   Finally, your brain stops overthinking and you let yourself feel. Jimin’s lips are full and plush, and they’re good against yours. The soft smacking fills his room. The two of you kiss until your lips part and he begins to lick into your mouth, tongue entering without much hesitation.   You fall back onto the mattress, noticing that the bed’s been made sloppily, but better than your own. The pair of you keep kissing and he hovers over you, capturing you against the sheets. Pathetically enough, you already begin to feel your center throbbing and it’s a relief when you both get rid of your clothes.   He doesn’t talk much — doesn’t give much commentary or even dirty talk. But you don’t mind. All you’re offering after all is soft sighs and quiet moans.   Jimin squeezes your breasts and fingers you for a good minute. He’s surprised to see how wet you are, even letting out an ‘oh shit’, but you make no efforts to come up with an excuse. The stretch feels good from his thick fingers, but you bet it’ll feel good around his girthy cock too.   He goes to grab a condom from his drawer, but pauses.   “Do...you want me to eat you out?”   “I’m good,” you politely decline, afraid it might be too intimate. You’re not sure where the lines are drawn, but it’s something you’ll have to gauge while you go. “Do you want me to suck your dick? You might have to teach me though.”   The corner of his mouth tugs. “I’m good too.”   As Jimin rips open the condom package, you turn yourself around and get onto all fours. He doesn’t protest and when he enters you, it feels good enough for you to fall forward into the pillows. His cock is of average size, but he’s girthy and your cunt stretches to accommodate him.   He groans in his throat when you clench — and the sound gets you off, making you squeeze again. Jimin pounds into you, his pelvis hitting the meat of your ass, cock drawing in and out against your tight, warm walls. You do your best to meet his thrusts halfway, jerking your hips back and you stifle your moans with your teeth sunk into your bottom lip. The sloppy sounds of slapping and the creaking of his bed makes you glad his roommates are gone. And while the sex is not mind-blowing per se, it’s still good. Enough that you climax once he rubs your clit several times and he unloads into the condom too.   It’s easier than you thought it would be. Not a big deal whatsoever. It took ten minutes in total and it felt good.   It’s just sex — and that’s exactly it. Just sex. The very lesson of the art of benefits.   You pick up your clothes off the floor, slipping them back on. “I gotta get going.”   There’s no snuggling, no cuddling, no pillow talks. And it doesn’t seem like he minds whatsoever.   “‘Kay.” Jimin picks up his phone off his bedside table to check his texts and waves goodbye without even looking at you.   You leave, walking yourself out and humming as you stride down the hall.    You’re glad you went through with it.

[2nd Year Winter Semester]   You run there with your sandwich stuffed in your cheek.   By the time Jimin opens the door, you’re still chewing while panting. It’s a comical sight by the way he smiles at you. You’re already winded before anything’s started. “I hadn’t eaten yet and I needed to get my blood sugar up.”   Jimin’s lips are quirked. “We can always eat beforehand, you know. There’s food in the fridge.”   “Nah, I’m good.” Having meals with your friends with benefits is the last thing on your mind.   He shrugs. “Suit yourself.”   You use his bathroom, releasing your bladder and rinsing your mouth thoroughly. You know yourself and you’re not a novice on how these relationships work. The less interaction and knowledge you have about him, the more you can keep your distance.   “G-God,” he exhales shakingly, hand fisted in your hair. “You’re getting b-better at this….”   Jimin watches through heavy lids as you’re slobbering over his cock. He tries his best to watch, but when you run your tongue over the weeping slit at the bulborous head, his eyes shut and his head naturally knocks back. You’ve gotten better at a lot of things in the few months that have passed, namely sucking dick, but your jaw aches and you wonder when he’s going to cum.   It’s worth it though. You might be the one kneeling in front of him, but you feel powerful. It’s too easy to make him crumble. To make him moan like that. It makes you wet to hear him and knowing you could bite off his dick or make him lose a load, the sheer power eggs you on.   Like you were taught, you inhale, ease your muscles and take Jimin as far as you can.   He chokes as his cock hits the back of your throat. Your gag reflexes threaten your endeavour but you keep them at bay and Jimin’s hand in your hair tightens. Especially when you swallow.   “Fuck. I-I’m going to cum.”   Thank god. Finally!   Usually, you let off so he can cum elsewhere (god forbid in your hair) or if he accidentally does it in your mouth, you spit it out on tissue. But this time, you made a commitment to yourself. You came here with a goal. So you inhale again and deep throat him, sucking as much as you can.   With his curly pubic hair grazing your nose, Jimin cums. His groans staccato. His cock twitches.   And you swallow the bitter, white fluid that comes out in ribbons.   After a few seconds, you finally withdraw. Jimin opens his eyes, staring at you in wonderment. There are strands of saliva from between his softened cock to your lips and you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.   “Not gonna lie.” You clear your throat and swallow down the remaining taste. “That’s really nasty.”   Jimin bursts out laughing.   “Thanks.”    “It’s the least I can do.” You stand up, shaking your left leg awake. It feels like pins and needles when you step around. “I’ve sat on your face like twice already.”   You toss Jimin his pants off the ground and you get your cardigan back on.   “You wanna come over on Friday?”   “Uh…” You grab your phone from your jacket that’s also been discarded and check your calendar. “Sorry. Can’t. I’m busy on that day.”   His brows raise, but he doesn’t question it.   “How about Saturday?” you offer.   “No. I have a kines exam scheduled.”   Your face twists in disgust. “On a Saturday?”   “Yep. I know. It sucks.”   You sympathize, but you’re also surprised. “I didn’t know you were a kines major.”   “What? I thought I told you.”   “Guess I forgot.” You put yourself back together and a thought strikes you. Your eyes light up and you turn to your friend with glittering eyes. “Does that mean you can crack bones? I’ve always wanted to go to a chiropractor since my lower back always hurts. You should crack it for me.”   Jimin grins. “Sorry, I don’t know how to do that. They don’t really teach you that kind of stuff.”   “Oh.” Your eyes dim and you don’t try to hide your disappointment. You almost thought you could get a little more out of him, but you suppose decent sex is enough.    As you grab your bag, you notice that his phone lights up. “You got a text from Victoria.”   “Thanks.” He reaches over, but the curious expression on your face must be visible, since he says, “Don’t worry. She’s not my girlfriend or anything. She’s just someone I’m kind of into.”   “Nice!”   The corner of Jimin’s mouth quirks at your genuinely excited response even though he never looks away from the screen. You’re psyched though. If he has an interest in someone else, there’s less chance for anyone to catch feelings. Fewer connections. More distance.   “If you ever want to end this, just let me know.” You throw your backpack on that’s heavy with your laptop and textbooks inside.   “Yeah.”   “I’m going now.”   “Bye.” Jimin’s fingers fly across the screen to text the other girl back and neither of you spare each other a glance. The door shuts moments later and the noise echoes through the walls.

[3rd Year Fall Semester]   In spite of being a junior now, things have relatively remained the same.   According to course outlines, lectures are more in-depth in their content, but there’s still assignments, papers, and midterms. The grading schemes haven’t changed and you know there’s a shit ton of work waiting for you in the coming months. But you find pleasure wherever you can.   The door opens, but it’s not Jimin on the other side.   “Hey, Y/N.” Taemin, his roommate, is eating chips. “He’s in his room.”   “Thanks.”   You shuffle inside and after briefly greeting Jongin, the other roommate, who’s busy playing Animal Crossing on the living room couch, you beeline to his room. You find Jimin hunched over his messy desk, rounded spectacles on the bridge of his nose as he’s tapping furiously across his laptop keyboard.   He glances at you. “Sorry. I need a second.”   “Take your time.”    You set down your bag and shed your coat, tossing it aside. You’re not sure what he’s doing, but you don’t ask. Instead, you pull out your phone and run through your usual apps. With no messages to answer or anything to scroll through, you check your email and find the words ‘emergency’ in one of the subject lines.   After a minute, Jimin saves his document and closes the lid of his laptop. He stretches above his head with a groan and turns around, only to find you now hunched over your own device.   “Sorry,” you mutter once you feel his gaze on you. “My manager needs me to fill out my timesheet and send it to her.”   “I didn’t know you worked.”   “Just part-time at the admissions office here on campus.” You go quiet as you skim over your email again to ensure it makes sense. “It’s a pretty easy gig.”   He hums and you finish, shutting your laptop and sticking it back into your bag. That’s when you finally get a good look at the boy across the room — dark hair, blue shirt and gray sweats — and you notice how tan he’s gotten. It’s a good look.    Your mouth tugs. “Did you travel over the summer?”   “I went to the Caribbean with my family for like two weeks.”   “Fancy.”   “It was alright.” He gets up and re-stacks the textbooks on his desk into a single pile. Jimin notices the stack of flyers he was supposed to distribute. “Oh yeah. Do you want to join the crayon club?”   Your brow lifts. “The crayon club?”   “Yeah, you can come colour every Wednesday night and just hang out with people.” Jimin grins boyishly. “My friend wanted to make a club and he made me the communications executive. I’m supposed to get people to join. You don’t have to, but the first meet and greet is this Friday, and the more people the better. There’s gonna be free food by the way, if that helps.”   You’re not sure that's a good idea.   The two of you have never really met up outside of his dormitory, aside from the first time you met at the library.   “Let me check my calendar.” You grab your phone again and thoughtlessly mumble, “Sometimes I’m busy on Friday. I’m part of the board games club and we meet up every other week…..don’t judge.”   “I’m not.”    Still, Jimin's smile widens and you feign a pout.    You’re free this week.   “I’ll come if you make me an executive too,” you quip carelessly while tossing your phone aside. “It’ll look good on my law application.”   Jimin quirks his head. He didn’t know you were aiming for law school. “Okay.”   “Wait.” You’re taken off guard, eyes as wide as saucers. “Seriously?!”   He with a small laugh. Jimin gets up and closes the distance, making you lean against the headboard until he’s completely hovering over you, mere inches away. “We actually need a position filled anyway, so you just saved me some trouble.”   “You better keep your promise, Park.”   You end up showing with Wendy and Tiffany in tow — the former who wants to raid whatever food there is and the latter genuinely interested in colouring as a means of relaxation. It’s a bit awkward to meet so many new people at once and Jimin’s friends at that, but you can tell they’re nice at heart. Albeit, a bit rambunctious and too friendly. And you’re a bit horrified when one of them tries to eat a crayon to further advertise the club.   “So, what’s up with you and Jimin?” Tiffany asks, peering up at you as she colours in the lines carefully. She’s unaware of your arrangement with the boy. It’s not something you’ve told many.   You feign ignorance, not wanting to get into the details with strangers around. “What do you mean?”   “Are you dating him?”   You scoff. “I wish.”   Immediately, Wendy’s brows raise to her hairline and the words that fumbled out of you thoughtlessly finally sink in. “I mean, no, we’re not. Not I wish.”   Luckily, Tiffany spares you and doesn’t pry. But you’re mortified and you glance at Jimin from across the room laughing noisily with his friend. You turn away from him, trying to create more distance.

[3rd Year Winter Semester]   With exam season here, you and Jimin hadn’t seen each other in a while.   Luckily, Spring break was approaching, so you at least had something to look forward to. The idea of being able to lay in bed and sleep in automatically puts you in a good mood. Jimin, however, seems less than stoked.   You watch from the bed as he runs a hand through his hair, messing it up before you’ve gotten a chance to. He was frowning when he opened the door, greeted you with one word and in general, has been quieter than usual.   “Is….everything alright?” You wonder if you did something to piss him off, but then he says—   “I flunked my final.”   Oh. That explains his bad mood.   “The one you took this morning?” you ask.   “Yeah.” Jimin deflates with an extended sigh. “I didn’t get the first twenty questions and then I fucking ran out of time….”   There’s a pause that lingers.   “Well, you’re not sure if you actually failed, right?” You lean closer to him, quirking your head to the side. “The marks haven’t been released and who knows, the prof might curve it.”   “Maybe. I don’t know.” Jimin scrubs a hand over his face, uncertain and stressed. “This ruins everything. I’m trying to get an internship at a clinical rehabilitation facility and I want to apply for a masters and now...fuck.” You’re surprised. You didn’t know he had so many goals. “I’m screwed.”   Jimin flops back onto his mattress, staring at the ceiling. You loom over him, blocking his view.   “Does the internship look at your GPA?”   “They want a three point o average or more.”   “What do you have now?”   “Three point five.”   The corner of your mouth pulls and a rush of air leaves your nose in a snort. “Then you’ll make it! Even if you failed one exam, it wouldn’t tank past a three. It can’t be too bad, right?”   “Yeah, I guess.” Jimin sighs and absentmindedly tugs on your strand of hair that’s fallen in front of your face and is grazing against his cheek. “I just don’t know anymore.”   “It’s going to be fine,” you reassure, slapping your hand on his shoulder. “You’re just overthinking it.”   “Maybe,” he hums.   A sudden thought comes across your mind and your small smile turns devious. “Let me make you feel better.”   You shift to straddle his hips and instantly, his hands lift to your waist. Jimin starts to grin as you pull at his shirt, trying to get him to strip. And you do your best to pleasure him.   It doesn’t take much effort considering Jimin’s hand is already tightening in your hair the minute you run your tongue along his shaft. But he doesn’t let you suck him for too long, eager to feel you inside instead and pleasure you just the same.   It’s eager and messy sex. You’re on top until your thighs begin to burn and you lose your pace. Then he re-repositions the both of you, so you’re flat on your back and he’s doing most of the work. You end up cumming twice. Once around his covered cock and the other time after he coaxes you around his stiff tongue and eggs you on, even when you’re sobbing from the overstimulation.   It feels good. Better than good.   Over time, the pair of you have gotten to know each other’s bodies better, what works and what doesn’t.    Your relationship with Jimin is an investment that feels worth it.   “Hey…” You’re both facing away from each other as you put your clothes back on. Jimin turns his head and you cast him a glance. “I was thinking of maybe starting birth control…”   He blinks.   “If you go get yourself checked out and make sure you’re clean, we can do it without condoms.”   You pull down your sweater over your head and you both stare at each other. He looks surprised and responds in a delayed manner, “Okay. Cool. I’m down. I’ll get myself checked out this weekend. I haven’t really slept with anyone else since this started though.”   It’s your turn to be caught off guard. “Really? What...about that girl you were into? Vicky?”   “You mean Victoria?” He jumps as he puts on his sweatpants, getting both legs through at once. “Nah. It didn’t end up working out.”   “Oh.” He’s entirely nonchalant about it, so you merely nod.   Jimin walks you to the door and you notice that he’s in a better mood than earlier. You hide your smile to yourself, glad that it was mutually beneficial.   Two weeks later, he gets an email before the two of you get down and dirty, and you’re the first one in his life to know that he got the summer internship. His excitement is infectious and you genuinely feel happy for him.

[4th Year Fall Semester]   It’s so close, you can taste it.   A whole new semester and cart of overpriced textbooks later meant you were a senior now. It also meant that there was just this year left and you were out of here. Finished at least one degree. A step closer to making the big bucks and being a whole ass adult.   The idea is both exhilarating and frightening.   2:20pm. Jimin: Wanna come over?   The text mocks you, but the temptation is tangible. Like a carrot tied at the end of a stick that’s attached to a hungry rabbit. You’ve been sexually frustrated since last night, feeling it in your loins since morning, and fidgeting and rubbing your thighs underneath tables and desks. The thought of getting that sweet relief properly is enough for you to want to ditch class altogether, but you can’t. Not for the next few days.   2:22pm. Y/N: can’t. 2:22pm. Y/N: I’m on my period :((   2:23pm. Jimin: I don’t mind   2:23pm. Y/N: really???? 2:24pm. Y/N: are you sure   2:25pm. Jimin: lmao 2:25pm. Jimin: yes   You brace through the rest of the lecture, paying more attention as the anticipation swells. And when it’s all over, you race across campus to the dormitory building you’ve become familiar with.   Jimin opens the door before you need to knock and he plants a chaste kiss against your lips in greeting. You’re taken off guard, but don’t pay too much attention to it. “How was class?”   “Good. You?”   “Same,” he hums.   You drop your bag in his room and gesture below your waist. “I’m going to need to wash up. The nether regions are a bit…”   He smiles. “Sure. I got spare towels I can set down too.”   You self-consciously linger for a moment as he goes to his closet to the upper shelf. The towels are luckily green and not white. “I’m surprised you’re okay with it. Having period sex, I mean.”   “Why wouldn’t I be?” Jimin pushes his blanket aside and puts a towel down. “As long as you’re fine with it, then I am too.”   “I don’t know. Doesn’t blood gross you out?”   “Not really? Most of the time I’m the one making the mess, so it’s actually nice to have someone else make the mess for once. Plus sex is sex. What’s there to complain about?” His brow lifts and he looks at you. You scoff and it makes Jimin grin.   You wash yourself up and he fucks you in missionary position on top of the towels. The pair of you have only done so a few times before. Typically, you’re face down, bent over, on all fours or looking away from each other. But the change is welcome. Jimin hovers over you and you can kiss him when you want to.   “F-Fuck.” A pitched moan unintentionally spills from you when he hits a spot at your walls that has your toes curling. “Ji...min.”   It’s more lubricated than usual, making the strokes easier. He goes softer too. Deeper. Jimin presses your thighs to your chest and makes you feel him all the way to your throat.   The boy smiles tenderly at your reaction in spite of panting himself. “Feel good, baby?”   “Y-Yeah.” You nod, eyes shut tight. You grip his forearms when he bottoms out again. “Always does.”   Your warm walls pulse around his thick cock and you end up cumming soon after. He groans into your neck at how you tighten around him like a vice grip and he thrusts into you one more time before his cum fills you.   The pair of you jump in the shower together to get cleaned up and then you’re picking up your clothes while he tosses the towels in the laundry.   “What were you working on, on Thursday?”   You blink, realizing that you texted him vaguely about being swamped and unable to come over, and that’s enough for you to unload and go on a tangent. “God, don’t remind me. It was my fucking thesis. I barely managed to finish it but I don’t even know if it makes sense and now I have to edit like fifty pages by myself before giving it to my supervisor, so that’s fun.”   It feels good to let it off your chest.   Jimin smiles subtly at your venting. “I could always edit it for you.”   “What? Seriously?”   “Sure.” He shrugs. “I’m not in poly sci, but that might make me a bit more unbiased. I’m not doing much these days either.”   “Oh my god.” There’s an overpowering urge to bow at his feet or suck his dick until you’re gagging or do both. “You’re a life-saver!”   Jimin laughs and it’s the sound of angels singing. “Just send it over. I can get it done by tomorrow. You have my email, right?”   “Of course I do. Duh!” Your grin is big enough that your cheeks hurt and he has one that matches it as well.   //   A few weeks fly by and things calm down enough that you can finally breathe. But that’s when you receive a little text from a certain someone that has you skeptical if you can rest easy.   6:48pm. Jimin: I have a surprise for you 6:48pm. Jimin: I forgot about it   You’re not sure what it is, but asking would be like pulling teeth with him. Jimin hates spoilers and he likes surprises all too much.   Lately, you’ve both been getting into some freaky shit. Buying toys, blindfolds, handcuffs. As adventurous as college kids with a limited budget can get. It was rather fun for the pair of you, and expectedly, some experiments work out better than others. It sends goosebumps all over your skin every time he talks dirty. You like it when Jimin spanks you too. Although, you’re still unsure about the whole candle wax on your body idea.   But there’s one thing for sure — Jimin can most definitely not role play for his life.    The whole school girl fantasy lasted a good five minutes before he started bursting into giggles and breaking character every other second. Playing doctor only made you realize how ticklish he was too. And the tickle fight that followed was definitely not something one would call ‘sexy’. Even if it did lead to the deed being done.   “Hey.” Jimin greets you with a grin and a chaste peck against your lips. “How was studying?”   “Fine.” You brush off the question quickly, too curious of what he has in store. “Jimin, I’m not going to use that twelve inch dildo unless you want to drive me to the ER.”   He bursts out laughing. “That’s not it. Good try though.”   Instead of going to his room like you usually do, Jimin leads you past the kitchen area to the table. It’s been cleared off and you give an inquisitive expression. He grins and then gestures to it.    “Lay down.”   “What?”   “Just lay down.” He takes your hand, guiding you on it and you obey wordlessly. It doesn’t seem like any of his roommates are home and you hope they don’t come back any time soon lest they find you lying face down on their dinner table.   You feel Jimin round the table and pull your ankles together. You tilt yourself up to peek at him, but then he barks— “Down.”   With a pout, you return to your position, arms folded underneath your head. You hope he isn’t about to rub spices on you and roast you in his oven like it feels like he’s doing.   You feel the gentle pressure of Jimin’s hands against your spine, his thumbs pressing into your skin and he hums, “Relax. Okay. Breathe in for me.”   An inhale is taken and his hands suddenly press into the middle of your back. You hear your bones crack loudly. It catches you off guard and you turn yourself with wide eyes. “You know how to do it?!”   He boyishly grins. “I might’ve learnt a thing or two during my internship.”   “Keep going, keep going.” You flip yourself over again, gesturing to your back and he laughs, going down your body and cracking your bones. You become butter in his fingertips, lower back feeling better already.   “Lift your leg for me.”   You follow his instructions to a t. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” you ask sleepily, lulled by his care. If he massaged you too, you might just cream your pants.   “I got this, I got this,” he reassures with a bit of arrogance. “I’m not a professional, but I know what I’m doing. You trust me, right?”   A noise is made at the back of your throat.   “If you break a bone on accident, I’ll sue you,” you mumble as he turns you over. “God, feels good.”   After a while, Jimin gets you to sit up and continues. He looks nice when he’s concentrating. Expression blank. Lips plump and in a line. Brows only slightly furrowed. “Considering you don’t have any ailments, you don’t need to get your bones cracked often. You should stretch and do some exercise instead.”   You scoff. “Having sex with you is enough exercise.”   To prove your point, you latch onto his arm and tug him towards you. Jimin smiles and the two of you break a sweat against each other on the table before either of his roommates come home.

[4th Year Winter Semester]   It was an invitation that you would’ve called yourself crazy for offering a year ago. But if it wasn’t for him editing your thesis and taking a load off your mind, you would’ve had a harder time.    You had him to thank for that.   “So?” Jimin’s seated across from you at the restaurant booth. It wasn’t surprisingly difficult to ask him to grab a bite with you. For some reason, you thought he would reject. “What’s the big news?”   Instead of answering, you reach into your bag and slide the envelope across the table.   He’s curious and takes it, pulling out the letter to read. You sip on your water, watching his expression intently. He mutters the words and it takes him through the first paragraph before he realizes. Then, at once, Jimin’s eyes widen. His mouth drops and he looks at you proudly.   “You got into law school?”   “Three of them,” you tell with a cheesy grin.    “T-That’s….fucking amazing. Holy fuck.” He reaches over and hugs you. It’s awkward considering there’s a whole table in the way, but you appreciate the sentiment. You’re giddy and giggling at how excited he is. It makes you feel like the first time you opened the letter yourself.   Jimin presses a kiss against your hair before withdrawing. “When did you find out?”   “Two days ago. I really thought I wasn’t going to get in since I got rejection letters last week from the other schools, but then three of them came in rapid succession.”   He shakes his head, still in awe. “Congratulations. Seriously. You deserve it, Y/N. God knows how hard you worked.”   “Thanks.” You smile to yourself, fiddling with the hem of your blouse. “I was thinking of maybe leaving the city to a different uni, but….I’m going to stay with my parents for as long as I can to save up on loans.”   “Yeah, sounds good.” He nods. “Moving out can be expensive.”   “What about you? Have you applied to your masters program yet?”   Jimin laughs. “Actually, I was planning on telling you that today too. I didn’t bring any fancy letter with me though.”   You lean closer, sitting on the edge of your seat. “You got in?”   “I did. Yesterday.” His enormous smile causes your own to expand. “I’m gonna do it part-time while working at the same facility I did my internship at.”   You’re happy for him and you can tell by his expression that he’s genuinely excited for you too. The pair of you were taking steps forward for your future and while it was a little scary, for now, you enjoy the victory and pig out at the restaurant with little restraints.   At the end of the night, you’re both wine drunk when you stumble back to his dorm room and soon, you’re trying to muffle your whimpers with your teeth sunk into your bottom lip. It doesn’t help when he presses the humming vibrator to your clit harder.   “J-Jimin,” you sob, fingers twisting into his sheets. You’re slumped against the headboard as he surrounds you.   “Louder,” he commands, watching you through heavy lidded eyes. The cold air of his bedroom made your nipples hardened, yet you feel hot all over, under his gaze and ruthlessness.    Your hand curls around his wrist. “Your roommates are sleep—” You cry and keen against his chest when he plunges the toy into your swollen cunt that’s leaking down your ass and thighs.   “It’s okay,” he murmurs in a low voice against your ear, “Let it go.”   You feel the toy nudge against your cervix, the vibrations trembling through your body and you orgasm hard with your forehead pressed against Jimin’s shoulder. Even then, he continues to draw it in and out of you, studying how you’ve creamed around the vibrator, how your slick is dripping to his sheets that are already stained with the scent of your shampoo.   “J-Jimin,” you whine loudly, not knowing if you’re trying to lean away from his touch or closer. “T-...too m-much!”   “You can take it,” Jimin softly coaxes and you nod.    You cum again after a minute and he immediately kisses you with a big smile before peppering pecks down to your neck. It makes you feel ticklish and winded.   “Hey...Jimin…”   “Hmm?”   “Are we still gonna do this after we graduate?” you ask in a quiet voice, laying back in the ruined sheets. “I’m gonna be busy and you are too.”   “We’ll figure it out.” He flops beside you and you both face each other. Jimin’s arm is draped over your waist and you stare at one another for a moment before he closes the distance.   Jimin nudges you for a languid kiss, your noses brushing as his soft, plush lips press against yours. It’s unhurried. Slow. He urges your mouth to part for him and his tongue slips in as you whimper, giving you a chance to properly taste him.   Sloppy, wet noises fill the room while heat rises to your cheeks. But you’re unbothered while swapping spit with Park Jimin. It’s lazy, yet it feels good. So much so that you’ve relaxed entirely.   In the back of your mind, you know you should get up and put some clothes on. Any cuddling or post-sex touching has largely been unprecedented before this and it’s not good to make habits you’ll have to eventually break. You should get your sweater off the floor, or at least slip on his purple t-shirt….   But you give into the temptation and shut your eyes for one second. One mere second.    That’s enough for you to doze off.   When Jimin realizes you’ve accidentally fallen asleep, he smiles to himself and tugs the blankets up to your shoulders, securing you in warmly.   //   You stifle another yawn with your hand.    It’s 9:30 in the goddamn morning and way too early for you. There’s a reason you pick afternoon classes, go to work afterwards and then go see Jimin to end your day off. There’s no situation good enough that warrants your alarm blaring before eight — but you suppose a graduation ceremony could be an exception.   “There’s so many people,” your dad gasps in wonderment, looking around the vast hall. “Do you know them all?”   “No.” You hold in your sigh. “I don’t.”   For the past twenty minutes, you’ve been running around looking for your parents after they’ve wandered off and gotten lost. If they weren’t spamming their cameras on their phone and telling you to smile in front of the odd statue or the meaningless bulletin board that wasn’t even part of your faculty, it was calling your name as loud as they could to find you in the crowds.   You’re happy over their enthusiasm but also burdened. It’s a lot of mixed feelings.   “Y/N?”   Dark hair and brown eyes — a certain someone who you weren’t expecting to run into is staring right at you with a boyish smile. “Jimin?” He looks good, a suit underneath and a black graduation gown over it that falls to his calf. His gown has a golden hood and tassel while yours is white — the colours symbolizing your different faculties and areas of study.    “Hey.” His gaze is warm. “You look nice.”   “Thanks. You too.”   You don’t linger on him for long, not when his parents are right by his side. You divert your vision and greet them politely. Jimin surprisingly looks a lot like his dad and his mom has a kind face. They seem like sweet people and you’re suddenly breaking into a sweat. “Nice to meet you.”   Your own parents make themselves known and you feel like your worlds are colliding as they shake hands and exchange names, congratulating each other on their child’s graduation.   You’re about to get them moving along when your mom nudges you. “Is this your boyfriend?”   Her voice is way too loud and you feel yourself burn in embarrassment.    “No. He’s just a friend,” you whisper it sharply but much your dismay, they look unconvinced.   You miss the way Jimin smiles to himself.   “We should get a picture!” his dad declares and your own dad looks even more elated at the idea of spamming more pictures. You already had to delete a hundred blurry ones, but your mom ignores your groan and pushes you both towards some weird artwork on the wall.   “Stand over here! Over here! Smile!”   Your parents end up sitting next to each other on the rows and you have no words, forced to sit at the bottom with the rest of your graduating class. It’s a wonder that the Arts Faculty was scheduled right before the Faculty of Kines. Fate or coincidence, you’re not sure yet.   But it’s still nice to see Jimin walk the stage and be able to cheer for him.   “Congratulations, Mr. Park.”   He grins. “Congratulations to you too, Miss L/N.”   It’s certain that the numerous celebrations with family, friends and relatives will be chaotic, so you take advantage of the opportunity while you still can. You steal just a little moment for your selfish desires by standing outside before you’re both bombarded by your circle of people.   “You know, I couldn’t have done it without you.”   “Oh, stop it with the sappiness.” You can’t feign a roll of your eyes when your smile is so big.   He swings an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and laughing. “Why? Don’t like it?” And the little shit slyly leans in to whisper, “You like it when I call you my baby though.”   “Jimin!”   He laughs and you sigh with a smile.   You’re glad you ran into him.

[Post-Graduation]   You open the door, welcoming yourself in.   “Hey.”   Jimin’s on the couch and glances at you, unfazed at how you’ve waltzed right into his apartment with little warning. You’ve always knocked out of courtesy for his roommates, but ever since he moved out of the dormitories, you find little need to make him walk all the way to the door.   He’s watching a thriller and you flop down on his couch, leaning over to plant a quick peck against his mouth as a greeting. “How was work?”   “It was okay. A bit busy. I met this nice old lady and we chatted for a bit. She called me handsome, so there’s that.” He grins and you scoff lightly, leaning your cheek on his shoulder as you watch the main character venture into an abandoned house on screen. Jimin loves his praises, so you’re not wholly surprised he’s kept a mental note of it.    You’re not sure why it’s important though. Anyone with eyes would agree he’s good-looking.   “How was class?”   “Awful,” you mumble, feeling tired against him. You came over to get rid of some sexual frustration, but you’re not even sure you have the energy to do anything anymore. “Commuting was brutal this morning. Traffic was backed up on the highway and I was late, and yesterday I had to drive back at night. My parents are driving me nuts too. I can’t study properly.”   Jimin hums a soothing note and slings an arm at the back of the couch where you’re sitting, letting you lean into him. It goes quiet as the two of you watch the suspenseful scene and then he absentmindedly pipes up after a minute, “You could always move in with me.”   He continues, “It’s closer to the university and it’s quiet during the day, so you can study. We could always study together too.”   It’s a good idea, but— “I can’t afford that.”   “I don’t mind paying rent for a while. It’s the same either way.”   It takes a second for the words sink in and then you’re peeling yourself off of him.   Your gaze is met with Jimin’s, eyes locking into one another and the movie is left in the background. “As roommates?”   He shrugs. “There’s only one bedroom, but sure.”   A studio apartment. One bed shared. Two people.   Watching movies. Having sex. Eating together.   It doesn’t sound bad to you whatsoever, but you contemplate it. It swirls around inside your head and you murmur, “Isn’t that breaking the rules of being friends with benefits?”   And you don't know why but Wendy’s words from the other day are echoing inside the caverns of your brain at the worst moment. “You know, your relationship with Jimin isn’t exactly normal.” You weren’t sure what she meant and you still don’t know. Not when she had advertised and encouraged this kind of arrangement all those years ago. When she had told you many people got involved in each other like this.   But you’re starting to wonder if something is off.   Did you do something wrong? Did your relationship with Jimin spiral out of control? But everything feels normal.   After three years, you’d think you would’ve mastered the art of benefits by now.   You sigh, getting a headache. Yet, Jimin merely shrugs.    As if the definitions and boundaries don’t bother him whatsoever.    “Is it?”   “Kind of. I mean, living together, being mutually exclusive. It almost sounds like….”   “Like what?” His brows lift. “Like we’re dating?”   You feel hot in your face, skin toasted like a furnace. Maybe you’re being delusional or silly. Maybe he’s going to laugh at you. “This is what couples who are going to get engaged do.”   “Maybe we should date then…?” The pitch of Jimin’s voice raises at the end, not necessarily a question but neither a statement. It’s questionable like he’s unsure how you feel. Like he’s playing a guessing game. And then he smiles at your shocked expression.   Jimin turns to face you fully. His gaze is heavy, earnest. “Maybe we should date.”   This time, it’s repeated as an assertion.   Confident. Unwavering. Sincere.   Jimin leans in to kiss you as if he can’t resist anymore. It’s tender, taking you off guard and you lean into him, finally allowing yourself to become surrounded by him. Mind. Body. And soul.   When the two of you pull away, he smiles while catching his breath. “I-I’m down if you are. This apartment can be yours and you can study here and sleep here and whatever. We can eat together and I’ll buy you take out or cook. It’s fine if you don’t want to. I’m cool with anything. We can keep being friends with benefits, if that’s what you want….so…......what do you want?”   You exhale lightly, feeling warm. “This...is a lot.”   “Is it?” Instantly, Jimin appears panicked and you hold back a laugh. “We’ve technically been together for three years and...what we’ve been doing recently is basically dating. In my opinion.”   “Did Wendy put you up to this?”   “No.” He shakes his head. “Frankly, the person I talk to most these days is you. And I like it that way.”   God, you hate him.    You pull Jimin in for another kiss, an aggressive and eager one. Enough that you can feel the heat off of his own face. You move to straddle his thighs and when you break apart, you muster a glare at him. “You know, I’ve been trying so hard not to catch feelings. You’re ruining all my efforts, you know that, Park?”   He grins. “Is this a yes?”   “It is.” This time, he’s the one to kiss you, sealing your lips together as he smiles against your mouth and squeezes giggles out of you. Even if he doesn’t say it, even if he’s saving it for another day, you know from his tender touches that he loves you. And it’s mutual.   No longer do you need to worry — leave right after the deed is done or be panicked when you’ve accidentally fallen asleep in his bed. You’re unashamed when he kisses you harder as a greeting, when he holds your hand, when you go out together. You can have pillow talks without needing to guard yourself, cuddle him, call him yours.   And when Christmas arrives, meaning sweater weather and snow dusting from the sky, you have someone to keep you warm. Someone who you can come back to and call your home.