#it's super hard to just take the love i'm given and not question it. it's hard to keep it in my heart and not feel overwhelmed.

[psychesmoon]

TL;DR: life is good. i'm happy to be alive <3

It's crazy how trauma reframes entire experiences and closes you off from seeing people and their intentions clearly around you. Me and my sister finally sat down to talk about what happened when our whole family fell apart 16 years ago. Just trying to fill in the gaps for each other. And it's so crazy that for years I've convinced myself of so many things - that I don't matter to her or other people in my family. That I need to work hard to be important to them. Provide a reason for them to let me in. At a different point in my life I was quite sure they would all be better of if I would have just died.

And I opened up about that and as I was saying these things I could SO CLEARLY SEE from her reaction that it was so far off from the actual truth. That she never even thought that, not even for one second. She never ever felt that anything that happened was my fault. She wasn't ever angry at me or blamed me. In fact, she always simply just loved me, and was worried about me even if I didn't see it.

And she never stopped loving me. Even when things got very ugly around us, even when we didn't see each other for months, even when the only words we exchanged were just surface-level small talk. Like. The love never went away. No matter how weird or messed up I was, it never went away.

I don't know. I just feel so lucky to still be here and be able to have these experiences. Reconnecting and rebuilding connections from the ground up. I'm so glad I didn't give up. I'm realizing how much I would have missed if I believed all the bad things my brain was telling me for quite a while.

Something something... what's meant to be yours will find it's way back to you again. Or something.

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[earlgreyflowers]

REQUEST: If you'd like to do it, I'm hoping for some Lando smut. You can fill in the details, but I want something where Lando is a college player that Y/N hates. But one day y/n somehow sees Lando in just tight, bright boxer briefs that show off his bulge and bum. And basically she gets turned on, and he recognizes it, and he starts to take advantage, dirty talking her, maybe showing off his muscles a little bit. And eventually he gets her in the palm of his hand. And then he has her get on her knees and give him a blowjob. I'm wanting Lando to be be super cocky and in control during the BJ, dirty talking and condescending and making her answer questions about how much she likes his muscles and how big he is. Sorry, this is so horny lol :)

A/N - Changed it slightly from a college AU bc I personally just struggle to write them and added some sweet Lando at the end <3, hope you enjoy anyway my love x

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He pissed you off, it was the one thing you could always rely on. Every day Lando managed to get on your last nerve, finding his way under your skin. Biting his lip, winking at you, that stupid fucking tongue thing. He knew he was attractive, of course he did, he had no shortage of people telling him so. The problem was how much he abused that, given that you had to spend so much time with him as a member of McLaren you had plenty of firsthand experience.

You’d constantly overhear stories he told his friends on the grid, bragging about his latest conquest in the bedroom. You always rolled your eyes before appearing in the group to whisk Lando away to his next task. This weekend Lando hadn’t said a word about any hookups, instead venting about how frustrated he felt, lacking the sexual release he was craving. You found yourself smirking, glad he was feeling some level of the frustration you felt daily around him.

You found yourself searching the garage for Lando, unable to locate him. He was needed to review the data from FP1 before heading out for FP2 in an hour, but he was nowhere to be seen. Oscar had suggested that maybe he was in his driver's room so you headed off that way. Knocking on the door you ask, "Lando? You in here?" You hear some shuffling inside before Lando responds, "Yeah, come on in." You're glad to hear a slightly happier tone to his voice through the door.

Lowering the handle you push the door open, entering the room before immediately slamming your eyes shut. "Fucking hell Lando, where are your clothes?" You exclaim. Lando laughs, "Relax, I was just getting overstimulated in my fireproofs and the suit. I have underwear on." He tells you. Truth be told you had seen his naked back and panicked, failing to look down and see that technically his lower half was covered. You open your eyes, shamelessly letting the roam the rest of his body.

Lando's body is incredible, his toned calves leading up to muscular thighs. The bulge in his underwear is hard to miss, thick under the fabric of his Calvins. Your eyes rake over his torso, the faint trail of hair leading into his underwear making your thighs squeeze together. You’re drawn in by every mole covering his chest, and the veins straining in his forearms as his arms cross over his chest.

It’s when your eyes reach his crossed arms that you pause, eyes flicking up to his face. You find him already staring back at you, pleased smirk pulling at his lips. His eyebrow quirks as a blush coats your cheeks, “See something you like?” Lando questions, the smile on his face revealing the cute cap between his teeth. You feel your face burning in embarrassment as you stutter out an answer, “No don’t be stupid.”

Lando laughs teasingly, stepping towards you. You move backwards with each stride he takes until you feel your back pressing against the door. Lando’s arms move to cage you in, one tantalisingly close to your hip. You hear the click of the lock, swallowing in nervousness as Lando’s head dips towards your neck. He presses his lips to your skin, smirking when your pulse jumps. Your head tilts back, chest heaving as his tongue licks a stripe up your neck to the base of your ear.

“Care to help me with my dry spell baby?” He whispers against the shell of your ear, his voice making you squeeze your thighs together. You nod and Lando pulls back, “Get on your knees. Want to stuff your pretty little mouth.” You drop to your knees without a moment’s hesitation, internally scolding yourself for giving into him so easily.

“Open your mouth.” Lando commands, smirking as you do exactly what he says. “Gonna have to open wider for me baby.” He continues, large hand grasping your jaw to encourage you. “Tongue out already too, such a whore aren’t you?” He mocks. Your eyes lid at his words, forgetting everything in the world except for him.

He leans down slightly, spitting into your mouth before running his thumb over your tongue. He spreads his spit before you enclose your mouth around his thumb, swallowing gently. He slides his thumb out of your mouth before replacing them with two fingers, relishing in the way your tongue swirls around him. You gag as he pushes deeper, eyes watering.

“How are you gonna please me if you can barely take my fingers honey?” Lando mocks, head tilting to the side. You can barely concentrate, his fingers making you dizzy as you fixate on the way his bicep flexes with each push of his fingers into your mouth. He notices the way you stare, smirking at your ogling.

“You like the muscles do you? I’ve been training harder lately, want you to imagine how my bicep would feel wrapped around your throat while I fuck you from behind.” He mutters, cock twitching at the moan you release around his fingers. He removes them from your mouth, leaving a filthy trail of spit down your chin. He steps out of his underwear, his hard cock slapping up against his stomach.

Your eyes widen at the sight of him, bigger and thicker than you expected. Lando smirks, “You can take me don’t worry, sluts like you are so eager to please that you’ll be crying around my cock in seconds.” He notices the way your legs clench at his arrogance, smiling at how needy you are for him. His hand wraps around the base of his cock, tapping the swollen head against the tip of your tongue.

Your eyes flick up to look at his own, smiling at the way they darken. “Oh you’re so filthy aren’t you baby? Just want to make me feel good don’t you?” Lando groans. Your lips close around the head of his cock, tongue flicking against the slit that’s leaking precum. The salty taste coats your tongue, a soft hum bubbling from your throat in response.

Lando’s hips buck at the feeling of the vibrations, “Does my cock taste good Y/N? Is that what’s got you moaning without me even touching you?” His teasing tone causes your pussy to clench around nothing, feeling the way your underwear grows ever wetter. Lando groans at the affirmative moan you release around his cock, stuffing himself deeper into your mouth. You gag as the tip of his dick hits the back of your throat, spit beginning to leak out of the sides of your mouth as he thrusts.

"Knew you'd be easy like this, knew that you were just jealous of all those other girls." He comments, large hands lacing in your hair as he continues his assault of your open mouth. "Crying for me already?" He asks, thumb swiping a tear away as it trickles down your cheek. His cock twitches at the sight of you, cheeks flushed, eyes brimming with tears, chin covered in drool. "You gonna take my cum deep in your throat like a whore? Gonna let me use like this from now on, whenever I need it?" Lando's tone becomes increasingly shaky as his thrusts become quicker and shallower.

The taste of his precum coats your tongue further, signaling his incoming orgasm. You slide your hands up the back of his thighs, feeling goosebumps rise on his skin. Your soft hands reach his ass, pushing him into the depths of your mouth. You gag gently and the contraction around his cock is enough to send Lando over the edge with a loud groan. "So fucking good, swallow for me baby." He mutters, ropes of cum spilling down your throat.

You swallow all he gives you eagerly, humming at the taste. Lando pulls out of your mouth before crouching down to your level. He presses his lips gently to your forehead, "That was so good, thank you." You smile up at him, face no doubt ruined by him. He laughs slightly before reaching for a small hand towel. He wipes your face, focusing in on your chin and neck that were coated in spit.

"Use whatever you need to clean up, I'm gonna head to the garage to review the data, which I'm guessing is what you came in here for." Lando explains. "Christ, what do you need me for if you already know where you're supposed to be?" You laugh, standing to examine your face in the mirror.

"Who else is gonna drop to their knees and look pretty like you?" Lando teases with a wink, shutting the door with a click and leaving you alone - blush creeping over your cheeks as you smile.

[neo-nomatrix]

Just Stay

Miguel O’hara x reader

word count: 885

synopsis: miguel is never there when you need him the most

warnings: SMUT!! not super explicit but a lot of dialogue and some descriptions

You’ve become used to waking up in an empty bed. Miguel was never next to you in the morning. Eventually you stopped reaching your hand to the left side of the bed, his side of the bed. Some part of you was always disappointed, though. There was still a small ache in your heart not being able to greet him in the morning.

“Are you going to work tomorrow?” You ask him, playing with the food on your plate.

“You know I have to,” he dismisses you, turning back to washing his plate.

You stay silent and fidget with your fork.

“You have me for tonight. Isn’t that enough?”

No, you want to respond. Of course that isn’t enough.

“Of course it is,” you smile.

On nights like these, which are most nights, Miguel doesn’t just fuck you. He makes love to you. He treats you so well you forget it’s his way of saying goodbye. He tells you he loves you and then doesn't even care enough to say good morning. Maybe he hopes you forget about it or forgive him. And you hate yourself for loving him so much to not care.

“Ay, i fucking love you, Cariño,” Miguel says so sweetly in your ear. Making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

The mix of your moans and his grunts drown out everything else. The world around you is completely blurred as he thrusts in and out of you. You could describe his kisses as sloppy but in truth they’re not. They’re given with such love and adoration for the brief moment you forget he doesn’t mean it.

“Say it, say it back,” he practically growls in your ear. His hands grip your waist, one slowly coming up to your neck squeezing.

“I-I love you,” you say reluctantly. Tears spotting in the corner of your left eye.

Your arms wrap around his neck and you grip at his broad shoulders. Hands scraping over the scars you scratched on his back the night before. He pushes his head into the crook of your neck to suck on your neck. His teeth digging into your neck and leaving marks everywhere.

He fucks you like he loves you. And you just can’t tell if he means it. Your hands pull at his hair as he finishes inside of you, pulling you in for one more kiss. Allowing his moans to melt inside of you.

Afterwards, you let him take care of you. You let him carry you to the bathroom and you let him tuck you into bed. You let him kiss you on the forehead and pull you to his chest as he gets into bed with you. You fall asleep in his arms fully knowing it won’t be like this when you wake up.

So of course, it surprises you when you wake up to Miguel’s arms around you. His breath on the back of your head and his arms squeezing around you like he’s afraid you’re going to run away while he’s not looking.

“You’re still here,” you whisper, half hoping he wasn’t awake.

“I know I'm not around a lot anymore. I’m trying, really,” he responds, loosening his grip on you.

“That doesn’t fix everything else.” You get out of bed and face him.

“I know it doesn’t. I know how much I've messed up, believe me.”

He sits up on his elbows, the duvet cover falling perfectly at his waist revealing his toned stomach. God, it is hard to be mad at that six pack.

“I hate the way you treat me, you know that? You’re never around and I fuckin hate it. When i’m alone and- and sad you’re supposed to be there to tell me it’s all gonna be okay but you’re not! And I am so sick of it. I want to be happy. I understand how important being Spiderman is but you have to learn to balance it out okay? Or else I can't do this anymore,” you exhale. Finally letting out what you’ve been wanting to say for months.

“You’re giving me an ultimatum?” He clarifies.

“Yes! I am! and you are in no position to question me,” you state.

“I get that, I do Cariño. But what I do decides the fate of the world. Of everyone, including you,” he tries to reason.

“Maybe we just shouldn’t be together then. If it’s that important. I shouldn’t be a distraction from that” you turn away from him. Unable to make eye contact with him.

You take his silence as an answer. You’re facing the wall, you’re hands on the edge of a desk. Biting your lower lip, wondering what’s going to happen next. After a few seconds you turn around to an empty room. The door just an inch open. He left.

He fucking left you. Again.

You’ve come to learn that Miguel will leave and abandon you when you need him the most. And you know that’s not what you deserve. But you also know that you love him, and that he hopefully loves you just as much.

You hate yourself for loving him. And he hates himself for hurting you. Maybe there’s a universe where the two of you are happy with each other, truly happy. No matter how much it hurts, you know you will love each other in every universe.

[midnightsnyx]

girl at home | mat barzal | part 2

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, lil bit of angst with a sprinkle of fluff and not edited im sorry lol word count: 2.1k authors note: *screams internally* thank you guys so much for the love on this story so far. I was super hesitant to post it at first but I am glad you guys like it! I'm posting this a little early but updates will be every sunday from now on. This chapter is kinda sad but happy times are on the way <3 thanks for the feedback, and if you like part 2, let me know!

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Sitting across from Mat for the first time in almost eight years, doesn’t go exactly as planned. He’s waiting for you even though you arrive fifteen minutes before the agreed time, hoping to rid yourself of the anxiety you are feeling which means he’s been here even longer. So you wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans and stride over to where he’s waiting and sit on the chair across from him. He’s staring at his phone so his head jerks up when he hears you.

The first words that come out of his mouth are: “are you sure she’s mine?”

Which, okay, that’s a fair question because you did tell everybody and their grandmother who asked that Mat was not the one who knocked you up. Of course, nobody actually believed you but there were a few people from your high school that believed it. Most girls who had always had a crush on Mat, would say that you cheated on him and obviously Nora couldn’t be his child because for some reason, they never actually accepted that you and Mat were a couple. 

So yeah, his question is fair and you did know he would ask. 

“Yeah, we can do a paternity test if you don’t believe me,” you say quietly. It’s not something you necessarily want to do, because then you’d have to come up with some reason to tell Nora why she needs to go get her cheek swabbed or blood tested. She’s as stubborn as Mat, and you would probably have to hold her down to get whatever the doctors needed unless she agreed. 

“No, I believe you.” 

His words take a huge weight off your shoulders but also replace it with a new one. You know Mat, he’s the kindest soul and has the biggest heart and he’s going to want to at least properly meet Nora and might ask to be in her life. In the first few years of her life, there wouldn’t have been anything you wanted more in the world. However, you’ve grown now and so has she. Your number one priority has to be what is best for Nora, and turning her life upside by introducing her to Mat is scary. For both you and her. 

And Mat? Despite what he might think, he’s nowhere near prepared to jump into being her dad.

“Can I ask you something?” he says, pulling you from your spiraling thoughts. 

“Sure,” you say even though you know what he’s going to ask. It’s a question you’re nowhere near ready to answer but you have no choice now.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

He doesn’t sound as angry as you were expecting, maybe thanks to his dad talking to him but there’s underlying hurt. You try to put yourself in his shoes, trying to think if there was anything in the world that would have stopped you from wanting Nora. You know for a fact that if Mat knew, he would have been in her life somehow but you’re not sure if he would have given up the NHL to do it, and that’s exactly why you didn’t tell him.

“I didn’t want to hold you back,” you say softly, watching his facial expression change. He just looked confused before but now he looks sad almost. His eyes close for a moment and when he opens them, you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach. 

“I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I did! I do,” you argue. “If you knew about her, it would have kept you away from everything you worked hard for. Your dream was the NHL, Mat. If I told you about her, it would’ve crushed that dream. We didn’t want to hold you back.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs. “Who’s we? You and my parents? You shouldn’t have made that choice for me, it wasn’t right.”

“This is a child we’re talking about Mat. Were you really ready at eighteen to drop everything and raise one?” 

“Were you?”

“No,” you say truthfully. “But I didn’t have a jersey with my name on the back waiting for me.”

He doesn’t say anything and for a moment, it’s silent between the two of you with background chatter from the cafe. You’re sure that he’s just going to get up and storm out but he takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, knotting his fingers together.

“I wish you’d told me,” he mumbles before looking up at you. “I would’ve stayed.”

“I know,” you whisper but you can’t meet his gaze.

. . .

You’re picking Nora up from her day camp a couple of days later when you get a message from Mat asking if he can meet up with you. There’s been no contact since the two of you last met, having left with a short goodbye to pick up Nora. He hadn’t asked to see her and you hadn’t offered so you thought maybe he would leave it but you should’ve known better.

You fire off a sure, see you in twenty, and debate on whether to bring Nora with you or drop her off with your mom. Mat might not even want to see her, but if he’s reaching out to you again it’s probably about her. 

“Wanna go meet my friend?” you ask, looking back at her to gauge her reaction. She might just want to go home after all day at camp, but she perks up immediately when you ask.

“The one from the grocery store?” she squeals but narrows her eyes and gives you a suspicious look. “Hey, I thought you said he was a stranger.”

Shoot.

“Well, he was to you,” you try to explain. “I knew him when I was younger.”

“As young as me?”

“As young as you,” you tell her and she grins, nodding her head and shouting an excited yes, so you pull out of the parking-lot and start towards Mat’s parents house. You’re a little nervous to be around his family after dancing around them for so long after Nora was born. Meeting up with Liana wasn’t as hard as you were expecting, but you’re not so sure about his parents. Aside from the occasional awkward greeting, you haven’t properly spoken to them since before Nora and you’re starting to think maybe bringing her will just make things worse but before you can change your mind, you’re parking your car in the driveway. 

He’s sitting outside on the porch swing when you step out, and his eyes widen in surprise when Nora climbs out of the car. He definitely wasn’t expecting you to bring her but this could be a good test. If he decides he wants to be part of her life, having all their interactions scheduled wouldn’t be a good start so you decide to just jump in the deep end.

“Hey,” you call out before grabbing Nora’s hand and making your way towards him. He’s already making his way down the pathway and meets you about half way, pulling you into a surprising hug before crouching down to Nora’s level.

“Hey Nora,” he says, smiling gently and offering her his hand to shake just like last time. “Do you remember me?”

She bobs her head once, accepting his hand but tries to hide her face in your leg. Of course now, she’s practicing Stranger Danger, instead of blurting out her full name. 

“Mom made dinner, if you guys are hungry?” 

Family dinner is just about the last thing you want to do but Nora perks up at the idea of food so you agree, following Mat into the all too familiar home you spent so much time in as a kid. Not much has changed, you realize as you look around the foyer. It feels a bit like coming home but you’re not sure if you were missed. 

“Smells good,” you say, trying to make conversation and Mat smiles awkwardly. 

“Yeah, mom is making your favorite.” 

How she can remember your favorite meal is beyond you, but you’re not about to miss a peace offering and this is certainly one.

“My favorite food is spaghetti,” Nora informs him and you watch Mat nod seriously, taking in anything she says. You try not to look too deep into it because even though he knows she’s biologically his, Nora is still just a cute kid talking a mile a minute about anything and Mat has probably been trained on how to handle excited children. 

When the three of you make your way to the living room, with Nora still chatting excitedly, you stop short when you see a picture frame on the wall. 

It’s you. Well, it’s you and Mat at graduation. Arms wrapped around each other and Mat kissing your forehead. If you look close enough, you can see past your smile and see the sadness in your eyes. This was before you were pregnant but you were already grieving the loss of Mat. He left for hockey shortly after and your only reminder was the brown haired little girl still talking to Mat. 

“Is that you, mama?” Nora asks suddenly, standing on the tips of her toes so she can get a better view. Her nose scrunches up and she looks at the photo, then Mat, and then the photo again.

“Oh,” she says and you sigh. 

“Let’s go see Mat’s parents.”

Nadia and Mike are waiting in the kitchen, trying to make it seem like they weren’t listening in on the conversation. Liana is sitting at the table, reading a book casually but you know she was probably listening too.

“This is Mike, Nadia, and Liana,” you tell Nora who lights up at Nadia’s name.

“My middle name is Nadia!” She squeals and you stare at the floor, not wanting to meet any of their eyes. Someone - probably Nadia - inhales sharply and then lets out what sounds like a sob. 

“That’s a beautiful name,” Liana says and you look up to see her looking at Nora with a soft smile on her face. Mike has an arm wrapped around Nadia who’s trying, and failing, to hide tears. You’re glad Liana is trying to distract Nora because you’re about two seconds away from crying and Mat must be able to tell because you feel his hand lightly touch your back. His hand lingers for a moment until you take a deep breath and blow it out steadily. 

Then his hand is gone and you feel the loss right away.

“Hey, we have a swing outside in the backyard,” Mat tells Nora. “Wanna go check it out while dinner finishes cooking?” 

He looks at you for permission so you nod, smiling at Nora when he takes her hand and leads her outside. Liana follows shortly after and then it’s just you, Nadia and Mike. Both their eyes are red rimmed and Nadia only hesitates for a moment before striding over and pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Thank you, my girl,” she whispers and all you can manage is a nod because you’ll probably cry now if you try to talk. The two of you just stand there for a couple minutes until Mike chuckles. You pull away, wiping your eyes to see him standing in front of the patio door so you make your way over to see what he’s looking at and almost start crying again. 

Mat and Nora are playing what looks like a game of tag, Liana laughing at them while trying to film. It’s exactly the kind of thing you had sometimes allowed yourself to imagine.

“Would you look at that,” Mike says softly. 

“He’s a natural,” Nadia agrees. “Always was.”

Then she turns to you with a small smile on her face. “I know the struggles of being a mom. You have to do what’s best for your kids…” she hesitates, gazing outside before looking back at you. “He wants to try, if you’ll give him the chance. We’d all love to get to know Nora.”

You would love nothing more than to have Mat’s family in Nora’s life. For her to get to know her other grandparents but you can’t help but be scared of what could happen if you let Mat into her life. She could get attached only to have him ripped away when he has to go back to New York but you can’t have Nora in Nadia, Mike, and Liana’s life and not Mat’s. 

But maybe you owe it to Mat, to give him a chance at having a place in her life after not telling him about her all this time. You were doing what you thought was right - what was right - but if Mat really wants to be part of her life, maybe it’s time. 

You look outside and see Nora on Mat’s shoulders with Liana chasing them, before looking back at the woman in front of you and smiling softly.

“I think Nora would love that.”

tag list: @dasiysthings

[afterbluehours]

Love Bite - Choi Beomgyu

warnings: vampire fem!reader, blood, sex, themes of starvation

note: This came from a super random thought I had one day that Beomgyu would let his vampire girlfriend drink from him and probably get off on it. I'm not a vampire enthusiast so I wasn't down on the lore, but I found out from a friend who loves vampires that their bites feel euphoric so everybody kinda gets off on it? But by then I'd been working on it for most of January and written so much that I decided to go ahead with it anyway. Thank you to my beta readers! (not sure if they want to be tagged)

Beomgyu was slightly scared when he learned the person he's dating is a vampire, as anybody would, while also internally freaking out that he's just learned vampires are real and he's one of very few humans who know. But to your surprise, he doesn't leave. He gets used to the idea pretty fast when he doesn't see any major changes in you or your relationship after you tell him. You’ve always been so gentle, and he knows it’s a character trait and not a disguise when you continue to be caring and nurturing. 

Some things start to make sense once he knows, like how he has never seen you sleep, which he never thought was strange before, just seeing you as a late night and early morning person, always awake before him. He can see now how much you've had to hold yourself back; how long it took to get you to agree to go out with him; all the times you'd shied away from your first kiss, how long it took for you to finally let it happen, and the way you’d trembled as he held you close afterward; the frequent long weeks that he'd go without seeing you when you claimed to be sick, and how you'd never let him come to take care of you or even bring you anything during those times; why you never meet his friends. He'd thought you were just a shy, private person who needed a bit more time than others to warm up to things. You were so grateful that he was so patient and understanding with you, sure that anybody else would have gotten fed up with the way you acted and given up long before the year mark. But not Beomgyu. 

He began to see how often you let yourself go hungry, determined that nobody else should suffer for your existence. Without hesitation, he offers, no, begs you to feed from him when he can tell you've been neglecting your needs, famishing yourself for the sake of the safety of others. You always refuse his proposals, never even toying with the thought of blurring that line between love and lunch. Until he finds you more weak and dazed than he's ever seen you, flinching away from the scent of him as he enters the room you've secluded yourself to. He begs you to drink from him, replenish yourself, his hands caressing your face, eyes pleading just as much as his voice. 

"I know you don't want to hurt me,” he whispers. His fingers are so unfairly warm on your cheeks, luring your eyes up to look at him. “But it hurts me to see you like this.”

In the haze of your desperation, you can't keep your eyes from honing in on his jugular, on the veins that pulse just beneath the skin. He looks and sounds so sweet, and the vulnerable state you're in makes it hard to think straight. His words and his scent cause you to feel dizzy, the mix of these factors and your heightened impulses make you begin to question why you never considered tasting him before. Two states of mind battle inside you–the craze of hunger and your personal beliefs and wishes.

Beomgyu pulls you into his lap on a chair by the window, bearing most of your limp weight. He slings your arms over his shoulders before cradling your head in his hand against his neck, positioning your face at his throat. You can hear the quick thudding of his heart, the throb of his pulse—nervous or excited, you can't tell. Closing your eyes, you let yourself inhale the warmth of him for a long stretching moment. Then, with your little remaining strength, you sit up enough to look him in the eye. 

He doesn't look scared or burdened; he looks trusting and devoted. You let your chest fall flush against his to feel the beating of his heart where your own might once have been, reveling in the idea of two being one for just a moment. Kissing him softly, you feel his breath on your face, the steady rhythm of him. He's so beautifully alive, so whole and so fragile. Your rational mind seems to have remained despite the lost fight and the mania you feel as your eyes ask of his surety. 

His head nods, and you gently capture his jaw in your hands and let yourself return to his neck. He doesn't scream or cry out in pain when your fangs pierce his skin. The only sound he emits is a sharp intake of breath through his teeth and a groan that he tries to hide under said breath. His body doesn't tense with fear or unbearable agony. You have the clarity to notice these things before the erraticism floods you, faster than the taste of him floods your mouth. 

The heat of his blood warms your body as you suck it down, like gasoline on a fire. You had never let yourself imagine how he would taste, never dared to think that you would ever find out. The fire dances hungrily in your belly, crying for more, more, more, and you open your eyes to ground yourself against your instinct. You lick soothingly over the puncture you've left behind as you detach from his flesh, both to give him a break and check over him. His face appears blissful; dream-like eyes opening into yours, and lips parted with fleeting breath. You feel his hands softly grab at your waist. 

"More," he breathes out dazedly. Your lips make to rebuff him, but he's quicker to speak. "You need more. Please." 

Were you in a more stable state, you'd want to have a conversation about this. But with Beomgyu's words, your natural desire overcomes the memory of your rational thoughts. Somewhere in the back of your clouded mind, you're grateful to have someone who cares about you enough to share their life-force to keep you comfortable. Your tongue laves across the bite to lap up the blood collecting there before you dive back in to begin gently sucking again. Fighting against every urge that sings inside you, you hold yourself back from severing any veins or arteries, willing to cause as little damage as a minimal flesh wound that can be easily staunched to prevent even more blood loss.

The moan that comes from the man below you is jarring; it doesn't derive from pain. Is this normal? His thumbs anchor into the flesh above your hip bones, and he angles his head up further to give you a more advantageous angle, encouraging you. His body jolts a little, causing your fangs to sink deeper, against your intentions, delivering more of his blood to you. You swallow it down before pulling away again with a gasp, dizzy with the effort it takes to stop yourself from guzzling him down. 

"Beomgyu… I-" 

"Ride me," he whines breathlessly, his eyes as blown out as your own probably are right now. 

The sound of the words that tumble from his lips is almost enough to startle you out of your thirst. At first you're not sure you heard him right, you've been out of it for days... But then your boyfriend is closing the gap between you, nose pressing under your jaw as his arms pull your hips against him, grinding you over his crotch, brushing hard and long underneath you, the friction waking another fire inside you. 

"Ride me, baby, please." He sounds as if he's never needed anything so badly before, and he's definitely never begged for you this way. A new warmth begins pooling in your belly alongside the blood. 

Beomgyu only fumbles a few times while unbuttoning his pants blindly as he offers his lips endearingly desperately to you. Fingers hike up the material of your dress until it's bunched around your waist, grab at your panties and angle them to the side. You hadn't realised how wet you were until he pushed inside with no resistance. 

The kiss is broken as the two of you react to the slide of his cock with a gasp and a groan, your forehead dropping to meet his as he pants shakily. Arms reaching under your thighs, he pulls you along his length, then lets you sink back down, until you take over and begin to ride him. Your lips brush over the bite you've left as you move against him and he moans again, hips thrusting up to meet yours. 

A gentle hand cups the back of your neck to return your mouth to the site when you don't do so yourself, and you're so tempted to drink again, but you will yourself to believe you've had enough to keep you going until you find another source. Beomgyu is whining at your lack of action, so you settle on kissing the punctures instead, savouring the taste of him as the blood pooled at the site sticks to your lips. You feel him throb inside you at the sensation of your mouth at the area, and he shivers as if all the nerves in his body are connected to that spot. 

“Take more,” he says between shaky breaths. “Feels so good.”

“No, Gyu-”

His lips are on yours the moment you pull back from him, so quick to act and so lost in passion he doesn't seem to notice the crimson hue that slathers your lips or the iron tang that they share. His hands are soft on your face now, thumbs stroking your cheek bones; always so gentle with you, as if he were not the one that was fragile, but you. When he breaks away for air, his mouth is smudged with a faint red stain.

His eyes drink you and he looks as in love as ever, just as adoring of you as before he learned what you are. Even now, with his neck punctured and his blood settling in your stomach, he still doesn’t see a monster.

“Gyu,” your moan drags out as your hips bring him deeper inside you over and over. A "You're too good for me” slips from your mind to your lips, followed by, "I don't deserve you."

You could swear you see pain on his face for a fraction of a second at your words. Then his hand is in your hair and he's meeting your lips once again to convey everything he's too breathless to say in this moment. When the kiss is broken, you dip down, your lips travelling over the column of his throat, leaving a trail of kisses and earning more moans from Beomgyu as his head falls back in bliss. 

“Don't– ah, don't ever say that,” he struggles to get the words out. “You're… oh god. I love you so much.”

Feeling his stomach tighten beneath you, his hips push up to meet yours, plunging himself so deep and snug inside you. Sparks shoot through your whole body from the feeling and you impulsively wrap your legs around him to keep him there as you quiver with pleasure, walls clenching desperately. There's a broken wail beneath you and you're faintly aware of the sensation of Beomgyu finishing inside you, and his name being called again and again by your voice. 

When your vision clears, certain that you would be a mess of tears if you had the ability to cry, you find your boyfriend heavy-lidded and wearing a slight, delirious smile. You're so in love with this human, bewildered by the fact that you don't know what you would do if he were to go away. Or worse; inevitably succumb to mortality, a voice in your head reminds you, causing you to mentally flinch away from your thoughts and focus on your view. 

Taking his head in your hands, you try to rouse him from his euphoria. “Are you okay?” Checking him over, you find no sign of excessive dizziness, though his rapid breathing and any lightheadedness in this moment could be from the other activities rather than the blood loss. Taking a better look at the bite you’ve left, reality comes crashing down on you, a hint of panic settling in beside it. “How are we going to hide this? This will take weeks to heal–”

A thumb swiping along your bottom lip brings your attention back to Beomgyu’s gaze. His eyes look a little more focused now as he steps into a reassuring role. “It’s okay,” he coos softly, as though you’re a bird he could spook, that you might fly away, not a creature that had him at its mercy moments ago. “I’ll bandage it and say I got a tattoo.”

“You would never get a tattoo,” you huff slightly, feeling he’s not taking this as seriously as he should. “And when you take the bandage off and there’s nothing there?”

He chuckles, hands running up and down your arms in a comforting way that has become familiar to you. “Then I’ll say I got a piercing, didn’t like it and took it out.” The soft brown of his eyes are so mesmerising, so persuasive that you’re almost soothed out of your unease about the whole thing, and he throws in a kiss to seal the deal. Leaning back, he’s smiling once more. “We’re definitely doing that again.”

Incredulous, you shake your head. You try to shift on his lap and are reminded that the two of you are still connected. “No, Beomgyu–”

“Hey. Look ook at me, love, I’m fine!” 

“This isn’t what I got involved with you for,” you say solemnly. It's quite the contrast to your boyfriend's nonchalant and playful attitude, and as soon as he hears the words, he's adapting to you. If possible, his eyes grow even softer. 

“I know,” he says softly. He helps you untether yourselves, promising to continue the conversation after you're both cleaned up. In the bathroom, you notice the way he eyes the bite, inspecting it carefully. He doesn't seem phased by the mark at all, his reaction similar to if he'd just nicked himself while shaving. Opening the first aid kit, he's ready to see to it himself, but happily allows you to treat and bandage it when you offer. Once clean and in bed, he resumes the previous conversation as promised, knowing it's important to you. 

You're laying on top of him, chest to chest and able to look at him properly–one of Beomgyu's favourite things about you being lighter than humans is that he can cuddle you this way without being crushed. He strokes your hair as you begin again, trying not to be distracted by the gesture. “I don't want to risk ever losing control and putting you in danger. What if I can't stop next time?”

“I understand,” Beomgyu's voice rumbles through your body as he speaks. “But do you realise how much restraint you showed today? While you were starved? If you could handle that without draining me for every drop I'm worth, I think you can handle a sip here and there before you reach the danger zone.”

For every drop I'm worth? Your expression pulls into a cringe. “Don't say it like that.”

A grin flashes over his face before he's serious again. “I trust you. And it’s not just that it feels good, I hate to see you suffering, you know.”

You sigh deeply, too tired and bombarded by logical arguments to find a rebuttal. Now it's you who reaches up to play with his hair, something you know he loves that relaxes him. “You should sleep.”

His eyes close obediently, making you smile. Arms wrap around you, holding you impossibly closer. “You trying to shut me up?” he jokes. “You're lucky to have me.”

As your fingers stroke through his hair, his mischievous smile slowly fades as his face softens at your touch. It's not long until he'll slip into sleep. “I know,” you whisper. 

[lastoneout]

Okay, honest question, who is Yotsuba?

OH HO HO ANON I AM ALL TOO HAPPY TO EXPLAIN :3

Yotsuba is a character from the greatest manga ever made, Yotsuba&!(or Yotsuba to! it translates weird, most fans just call it Yotsuba) which is a comedy slice-of-life manga about Yotsuba Koiwai, a five year old girl, and her very strange yet wholesome family and friends!

It's from the same mangaka who gave us Azumanga Daioh, though while that manga is told in a four-panel comic style and doesn't really have much of an overarching plot, Youtsuba is done in a traditional manga style and despite also being very episodic there is a bit of a throughline surrounding Youtsuba getting settled into the neighborhood she just moved to, growing up, and eventually, in the later chapters, getting ready to go to school for the first time. Also, there are storylines that take place over multiple chapters as well! Despite the fact that the manga has been releasing since 2003, the chapters are pretty sporadic and the comic has only really covered about one year of the character's lives, but it never really feels slow or aimless. It feels almost...timeless? I guess. It's really nice.

Anyway, the manga is legit one of the most wholesome, funny, heartwarming things I have ever read. Kiyohiko Azuma is a fucking MASTER of comedy(you may have seen screencaps from a Sailor Moon fan comic he made going around on tumblr in which Jupiter accidentally sends Venus shooting across a pool that made me laugh so hard I cried) and he balances it well with lots of slow moments with GORGEOUS artwork where you can really take in the scenery and all of it is seeped in a wonderful nostalgia for childhood that legit makes me super emotional.

I don't think the manga has ever really taken off in terms of popularity, at least not to the degree that it deserves imo, which is likely in part due to the creator being firm about it never getting an anime adaptation and the sporadic release schedule, but it's far from unknown. There's been an official(I think??) score released and plenty of figurines and merch. It's also birthed a lot of memes, and it def has the same issue as One Piece where if you read it and love it you will turn into a walking billboard and try to drag your friends and family in with you. It's just THAT good!

You may have seen art of or people cosplaying Danbo, a "robot" made of old cardboard boxes that Yotsuba adores (Totally a real robot btw, def doesn't have a middle schooler shoved inside there, that would be silly wdym /s)

And this pose from the back of one of the manga volumes featuring Yotsuba, her father, and their extremely tall friend Jumbo has been redrawn with other characters like 500000 billion times

And you've also probably seen this going around tumblr before (that's Fūka she's my favorite cringe fail daughter I would literally die for her).

Also, I would be doing a disservice if I didn't mention Yanda, who is a friend of Yotsuba's dad and also Yotsuba's nemesis. He's a loser who constantly gets dunked on by a toddler it's fucking hilarious.

But yeah it really is just like, a manga that feels like a hug, or a warm blanket or something, it's so comforting and funny and fantastic, I find myself re-reading it any time life gets to be too hard just bcs it's that good at distracting me and reminding me that live is worth living.

And also given that it's literally my favorite manga, I saved up a bunch of screencaps to use as reaction images after a read one time, and thus now it's my own little joke that if you send me anon hate I'm just gonna send you back a picture of this cutie

Bcs come on how can you be angry when you're looking at this???

Anyway here's some screencaps of the main supporting cast bcs I love all of them so much <3

YOU WILL READ YOTSUBA I AM NO LONGER ASKING

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

I Believe You, But Tell Me Again

(x)

Summary: Y/N is wondering if Jensen still sees her as he used to.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Lots of fluffy smut. Sexy af Jensen. Rockstar!Jensen. Definitely a warning. Unprotected PinV sex. Oral (f receiving), Brief fingering, some slightly insecure thoughts, established relationship. Fluff.

Pairings: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 3,314

A/N: This fic is a request by @lacilou .

I'm not sure if you're taking requests, but I can't get this out of my head. Jensen, in the photo you're using for Off and On Again. Where he's super hot, and he knows it. Kinda cocky but totally in love with the reader (established relationship - married, long-time girlfriend??) And reader doesn't understand why he's so into her, but she KNOWS it even though Jensen has to remind her with "Feel this? It's all for you, "while he's holding the reader's hand over his bulge. If you could throw in "this what you want?" while he's slowly stroking himself as he walks towards the reader, lust in his eyes.

I hope you enjoy it sweetie, and everyone else too.

The dividers below were created by @talesmaniac89

The lights were bright, slightly blinding, as Y/N sat in front of the two cameras aimed at her. There were two cameras so they could decide later on which side was her better side. Or possibly her worse side, depending on the tone of the interview. 

Y/N squinted at the primped and stylish woman sitting across from her getting her makeup touched up. She wondered, would this interview be a friendly one? An interview to say, “Look everyone! Aren’t the Ackles great?” Or would it be one of those interviews that had an edge of nasty hovering just beneath the smile of the interviewer. 

She watched this interviewer, Shauna, pull away from her makeup artist, scowling. “It’s fine, Lisa. Just leave it alone.” 

Uh oh.

The interview started off friendly enough, touching on the things most journalists talked to her about - Jensen’s incredible skyrocketing success, his status as a rockstar icon, what a talent he was. As Jensen’s biggest fan, Y/N always enjoyed those kinds of questions. She couldn’t get enough of bragging about her ridiculously talented husband. 

But then the mood of the interview shifted and Shauna started asking much more pointed questions. 

“Now, Y/N, you and Jensen have been married over a decade now, right?” Y/N nodded. “Is there a secret to your success?” Shauna was smiling, but Y/N could see that her gray eyes were calculating.

It was a question she’d been asked a lot in the last couple of years as their ten year anniversary came and went. People seemed very interested in the fact that their marriage had lasted so much longer than had been anticipated. When Jensen had started dating her, just a nobody from nowhere, everyone had predicted it wouldn’t last. 

People on social media and angry people with podcasts all had an opinion on their relationship.

-- She’s not cut out for the limelight.

-- It’s way too hard for someone like her.

-- She’s not used to the media. She’s gonna break under the pressure.

-- He’s a rockstar who could literally get any girl he wanted. So, what’s up with him picking her?

-- It won’t last. These showbiz marriages never do.

But ten years on, now people were wondering how they actually made it to a decade. “What’s the secret?” They all wanted to know.

“There’s really no secret, Shauna.” Y/N said with a smile. “When two people are madly in love with each other, when they respect each other and work together as partners, staying together becomes much easier.” 

It was a variation on the same answer she’d given dozens of times. It happened to be true, but Y/N was still tired of trying to find new ways to explain to people that they got married because they loved each other, and they stayed married because the alternative was unthinkable for either of them.

Shauna smiled a sharp smile. “And in all those years, you’ve never been worried about the rock and roll lifestyle…leading Jensen astray?”

Y/N kept smiling because she couldn’t falter and let the reporter know she’d scored a hit. They weren’t usually that pointed with the infidelity question. Usually they skirted around it, saying things like, “Does it ever get hard when he’s on the road?” or “You must miss him when he’s touring. How do you keep tabs on him?” 

Y/N’s personal favorite version of this question came from a middle-aged woman reporter with lipstick on her teeth. “Have you ever just shown up to surprise him, or tried to catch him being naughty?” It was said with a cheeky grin as though they were just besties chatting, but Y/N had wanted to snatch the woman bald.

Shauna’s version of the question was the closest anyone had ever come to asking her outright, “Do you worry about your husband cheating on you?”

Y/N kept smiling and shook her head. “No, never. If you knew Jensen, you wouldn’t wonder about it either. He’s the most loyal man I’ve ever known, and the most honorable. I know beyond a doubt that he doesn’t take our vows lightly, and that he would never, ever hurt me like that.”

Shauna seemed slightly taken aback by Y/N’s adamant, genuine answer, clearly expecting some anger or some kind of dramatic reaction from her. When she didn't get it, the reporter just smiled again.

“So sweet.” Was her response, acid dripping from her words.

***

The day of interviews had taken quite a bit out of Y/N, especially the last one, and she was tired as she wandered out to the limousine that was waiting to take her and Jensen back to their hotel, whenever he was done with his part of the press junket.

The limo driver opened the door for her and smiled. “Fatima says Mr. Ackles is almost finished and will be out in about ten minutes. Do you want to wait for him? Or should I take you and send another car for him?”

Y/N smiled back and shook her head. “No, let’s wait for him.”

“Okay, great.” The driver said as he closed the door behind her. 

In less than ten minutes, she saw Jensen push out of the double doors, and amble towards the car. He wore black jeans that clung to his thick thighs, and a gray t-shirt covered by a black, long-sleeved denim shirt. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing the veins and corded muscles in his forearms - muscles he’d gained by long hours spent playing the guitar.

As he got closer to the car, she watched him push a hand through his long hair, sweeping it off his forehead, and she sighed deeply. Good God, he was so stunningly sexy. 

Even when he was just walking, he moved with the same seductive grace he used like a siren song onstage. No matter how many times Y/N watched him in concert, she never got used to that kind of magnetic, cocky seductiveness that poured out of him when he was singing. He knew he drove people crazy. He knew it, and it just made him smile.

He was smiling now as he climbed into the car. “Hey beautiful.”

Y/N smiled tiredly at him, feeling her heart warm at his usual greeting. When he settled into the seat, he reached over and pulled her into his lap.

She squealed lightly as he lifted her, and then chuckled. “You know there are seatbelts we’re supposed to be wearing.”

Jensen shrugged and squeezed her tighter against him. “Nah! I gotcha.” 

Y/N laughed again. “Oh, okay then.” She said, snuggling closer to him. The interview had knocked her off kilter a bit, and it felt especially good to have Jensen’s arms wrapped around her. 

She tucked her head under his chin, and he ran his big hand up and down her arm. “Hey,” he said with concern lacing his voice, “everything okay?”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, just a long day sitting in the same room, being asked basically the same questions.” She shrugged. “I just wanna get home. Or, well, hotel.”

Jensen accepted her answer, kissing her forehead and then her lips. “Me too.” 

They ordered in their dinner, neither of them keen to face more crowds and questions, and spent the evening watching some trashy reality TV before calling it a night a bit earlier than usual.

Y/N went into the bathroom to get ready. She brushed her teeth and took off her makeup, and as she stood in front of the mirror she looked at her face closely. 

There were some lines there that hadn’t been there when she first met Jensen. She knew there was a gray hair or two hiding amongst the rest that also hadn't existed back then. 

She pulled her silk nightgown tight against her body and could see where she was rounder than she had been when she was younger. Her muscle tone wasn’t as good. 

I should hit the gym more, she thought.

She pinched one of her love handles and pulled at her skin, wondering what Jensen really thought about all these changes. She knew he loved her, knew that he’d always found her attractive. But how was that holding up these days? Did he still feel the same kind of heat for her? Did he still want her as desperately as she still wanted him?

She jumped slightly as Jensen popped up in the mirror behind her to wrap his arms around her waist, and nuzzle his face in the crook of her neck. He wore his pajama bottoms and nothing more. She looked at his biceps flexing around her as he squeezed her back against him, and his round, muscled shoulders, broad and strong, and she sighed. He was still so unbelievably perfect.

She lightly tapped his forearm where it rested just below her breasts. “You scared me.” She said, her voice accusatory.

He chuckled. “Sorry, I thought you heard me.” He caught her eye in the mirror. “But you seemed to be lost in thought.”

He moved his lips to her temple. “What thoughts are swirling around in that beautiful mind of yours? Hmm?” He murmured. 

She shrugged a shoulder. “Nothing.” 

Jensen’s face in the mirror wore a disbelieving look. “Don’t believe that for a second.” He pulled back slightly, and turned her in his arms so she was facing him. A small line of worry was creased between his brows.

“You’ve been quiet all evening; something is obviously on your mind.”

Y/N shrugged again and looked down at their bare feet. “Just tired.”

Jensen put his knuckle under her chin and made her look at him. “Y/N. Tell me.”

Y/N was caught completely by surprise as her eyes welled up with tears. She didn’t know where these doubts were coming from or why she was feeling this way. Maybe it was just one too many snide questions.

Jensen’s face crumpled as he saw her tears. He cupped her cheeks and brushed them away as they spilled over her lashes. “Baby.” His voice was worried and confused. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong? What happened?”

Y/N shook her head. “No, nothing happened. Really. It was just this reporter.” 

Jensen waited for her to continue, but his worried expression darkened slightly in anger.

Y/N bit her lip and debated what to tell him, how to explain the feelings she barely understood herself. Finally she just went for the honesty they’d always had with each other; they’d never been afraid to ask for what they needed from one another, and what she needed was reassurance.

“Do you still want me? I mean, the same as you used to.”

Jensen seemed completely taken aback by the question. Clearly that hadn’t been where he expected this conversation to go. He shook his head.

“Why would you even ask that? Of course I do.”

Y/N frowned. “Don’t just tell me what I want to hear. Please, tell me the truth. Are there things about me you’d change if you could?”

Jensen’s expression turned thunderous and he dropped his hands from her cheeks to grip her upper arms. “Y/N.” He said firmly. “What the hell are you talking about? Where is this coming from? Of course I don’t want you to change.”

“I don’t mean my personality, or whatever.” Y/N explained wiping her tears away with both hands. “But my face or my body, the way I look. I know it isn’t the same as when we first met.”

Jensen shook his head, his voice incredulous. “Well no, you don’t look exactly the same as the day I met you over a decade ago.” He blew out an exasperated breath. “But you know, I’m pretty sure I don’t either.”

Y/N felt her skin flush. “But you’ve just gotten hotter.” She frowned. “Guys do that.” 

She opened her mouth to say something more, but Jensen slammed his mouth down on hers, sweeping his tongue into her mouth and invading her completely. She let out a little whimper as his hands let go of her arms to grab her ass and press her hard against him. He kissed her long, deep, swallowing every soft moan.

When he pulled back his voice was husky with want. “Baby, I don’t know where these questions are coming from, but I know the answers.” 

He grabbed Y/N’s hand and placed it on his hard cock where it tented his pajama bottoms, obviously not restrained by underwear. She bit her lip as he closed his eyes and groaned when she wrapped her fingers around him. 

“Feel this? It’s all for you, all because of you. Fuck, Y/N do you see what you do to me? Still? Always?” He pushed aside some of the bottles and jars that littered the countertop and lifted her onto it easily. His hand slipped between her legs and he groaned at her bare, wet pussy. “Believe me when I tell you that I want you. Every day. All the time. Years don’t change that.”

He shook his head. “In fact they just make things better cause now I know what happens if I do this.” 

He dipped his head, sucking her satin clad nipple into his mouth, while his thick middle finger slid inside her body at the same time. A strangled cry left her lips and she thumped her head back against the mirror.

She felt him smile against her. “Exactly.”

He took his hand out of her to tug on her nightgown. She shifted slightly so he could pull the silky material over her head as he continued.  “And yet, your body’s always a revelation to me. It never stops fascinating me.” His eyes followed the path of his fingers as he trailed them down her arms and then over the soft swell of her breasts. Gooseflesh erupted on her skin and her nipples puckered.

He circled his forefinger around the tight little bud, before dipping his head once again to flick the tip of his tongue against it. 

Y/N moaned deeply and wrapped her fingers up in his honey brown locks. “Jensen.” She gasped as he sucked her breast into his mouth and drew on it deeply, causing her cunt to clench and quiver.

He pulled her forward, to the edge of the counter, and then dropped to his knees. He wrapped his arms around her thighs and pulled her wide open so he could reach his tongue up to tease her hole. Y/N plunged her hand back into his hair and tugged on it before pushing his head harder against her dripping pussy. 

“God, fuck Jensen, yes.” She rambled.

He hummed against her folds before nibbling at her clit, making her knees try to lock around his ears. But his superior strength kept her legs spread wide so he could feast. He breathed hot against her, alternating between flicking his tongue against her clit and sucking it between his plump, luscious lips.

It wasn’t long before Y/N was bucking against his mouth as she rode out her climax while he lapped up her juices. She panted desperately and tugged on his hair again, begging him. “Please Jensen, fuck me. I need to feel you, need you inside me so badly.”

Jensen stood and scooped her off the counter, walking back into their bedroom. He laid her out on the bed, making sure her head was propped up on the pillows, before stepping away from her. He moved far enough back so that she had an unencumbered view as he slowly lowered his pajama bottoms. 

His cock sprang free to lean, hard and dripping, against his stomach. Y/N felt her mouth go dry and a keening moan erupted from her throat as he gripped himself in his fist, pumping slowly.

He walked towards her one slow step at a time. His voice was a growl. “Is this what you want?” She nodded, biting her lips and trying desperately not to come again, just from watching him.

“Tell me you want it.” Jensen ordered.

Y/N nodded again, almost frantically. “Yes, fuck. I want it. I want your cock.” She reached for him as he stood barely a foot from the side of the bed. “I need it. I need you.”

Jensen climbed onto the bed on his knees, grabbing up her wrists with both hands and pressing them into the pillows on either side of her head. He stared into her eyes as he spoke. 

“And I need you too, Y/N. I need you desperately, obsessively. I need you every waking minute. I need your love and your kindness. I need your good soul and beautiful heart.” He entered her in one hard thrust and she cried out. “But I also need your soft body. I need to sink into you. I need to feel you move against me. I need to hear you say my name like a moan. I need to feel you clench tight around me.”

He began moving slowly, sliding in and out of her with silky, unhurried movements. “I will always love you. I will always want you. And I will never need you any less than completely.” He cupped her cheek with one hand. “Do you understand me?”

Y/N nodded and gasped as his cock slid over her sweet spot. “Yes. Yes.” Was all she could manage to chant. But it satisfied him and he began to move faster.

He switched positions slightly so he could lift her hips off the bed, hooking her knees over his forearms. He began to slam into her, hitting that same sweet spot over and over until Y/N was screaming out her overwhelming pleasure and falling into euphoria. 

Jensen continued to jackhammer into her, grunting harshly with each thrust. He pounded into her pussy over and over until she was once again on the precipice of bliss. As his hips faltered, he dropped one of her legs so he could slide his thumb between their bodies and swirl it against her clit. She screamed again and fell for the third time, clenching around him and pulling his climax out of him, along with her own.

The familiar aftermath of damp skin pressed together and lungs starved for oxygen, brought Y/N a kind of all encompassing satisfaction and peace. When Jensen finally rolled off of her, she rolled with him, so she could slot herself up against his side, wrapping one arm over his ribs and laying her head on his chest as he ran his fingers teasingly up and down her back making her shiver.

They were both quiet for a few minutes before Jensen broke the silence. “Y/N tell me the truth.” He said, and Y/N could hear the protectiveness and anger on her behalf permeating his tone. “Did someone say something or do something to hurt you today?”

But she just shook her head. “No, it wasn’t any different than a million other interviews really.” She shrugged. “Something about it just hit me, I guess.”

She raised up on her elbow, chin in her hand, to look at him. “But if you tell me you love me as truly, madly, deeply as you did the day we met, then I believe you.”

Jensen frowned slightly. “Are you comparing me to a Savage Garden song?”

Y/N giggled, but ignored the question, kissing him softly before laying her head back down on his chest. She smiled against his skin as she spoke. 

“I believe you, but tell me again.”

Jensen’s breath ruffled her hair as he sighed contentedly. “I will love you, and desperately want to devour you, every single day of my life - for the rest of my life.”

Y/N nodded, and her voice was full of confidence as she snuggled closer. “Thought so.”

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @akshi8278 @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @waywardcheshire

Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Outmaway Debut: Super Mario Bros. Wonder

It's officially been over a month since Super Mario Bros. Wonder was released, meaning our embargo for covering its plethora of new enemies has been lifted!

Or at least, that's what it looks like on your end. Hi! I'm Mod Hooligon from a month ago, and I'm writing this post on October 21, 2023, having beat the game just earlier today and going "Wowie-zowie! That was Super Mario Bros. Wonderful! Those sure were some Weird Mario Enemies Dot Tumblr Dot Com! Time to write posts about them that won't be published for another month instead of finishing my galaxy rankings like I should be doing!"

Anyhoo, to kick things off, let's talk about Outmaway! Right off the bat, Outmaway makes a great first impression with all the hallmarks of a good enemy: cute little creature, Eyes-in-a-Black-Void-Face, funny name, and the trademark Mario Enemy Shoes. It's such a Video Game Enemy Design in all the best possible ways.

If you couldn't tell from the fact I bolded the word earlier in the post, Outmaways love to kick things that are in their way that should be the name of the enemy we're talking about. Or maybe they hate it. It's hard to tell when they have a serious case of resting cute enemy angry eyes.

Regardless of how they feel about their lot in life, kicking things out of their way is what Outmaways do best, whether it's blocks of ice or Koopa shells. Do you ever think of how often you kick Koopa shells to take out rows of enemies? Well Outmaway is here to turn the tables, and show you how it feels! You can try throwing a shell at it, but don't say I didn't warn you...

Of course, if you're a fellow Weird Mario Enemies Afficionado who read the line about it kicking around ice blocks, you might be thinking "Hey, that's kind of like Buster Beetle, isn't it?"

Indeed, Outmaway is the second enemy to join the exclusive club of "2D Mario Platformer Enemies That Attack By Using Ice Blocks As Projectiles." But can the two co-exist peacefully, or is Outmaway here to steal Buster's job...?

As we mentioned in our original post on Buster Beetle, the decision to make Buster Beetle a Buzzy Beetle relative feels weird and arbitrary given how little the enemies have in common. And if you couldn't guess from our blog title, we love weird and arbitrary! But it is a questionable choice from a game design perspective, given you'd expect a Buzzy Beetle relative to behave like a Buzzy Beetle. It's very possible that this is why Buster has been missing in action since Super Mario Bros. 3, and that Outmaway is less stealing Buster's job than filling an opening.

Regardless of how you feel about Outmaway replacing Buster Beetle as Mario's voice actor, I think it's a great enemy, and I hope it can become a Mario Mainstay. When it comes to new Weird Mario Enemies, it can be difficult to tell which will stick around. Some of them rise to the occasion, like Goombrat, while others go the way of the Dondon...

I'm hoping for an ideal world, where we can play as Outmaway in Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash 2! It doesn't even use a racket, it just kicks the ball back.

[ohtobeleah]

Nav // Mickey Garcia

Summary: Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia has been keeping a secret, or three, from his new found family. After finding out he’d been transferred to North Island on a more permanent basis—he thinks now is as good a time as any to let the secret out.

Warnings. Believe it or not—this is a fluff piece. Fanboy x female reader. Slight mention of Smut.

Word Count: 5.1k

Author Note: This weekend we welcomed Rhett Abbott and Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia to the every growing list of fictional men I’d let rail me. This is such a fandom fluff piece, but it’s what you’re getting so either take it or don’t. Idk.

Callsings. Everyone had one–every one carried a story, a reason behind the name that colleagues and superior officers referred to you as and knew you as. Once you had your call sign it stuck to you like super glue. There was no changing it, no hiding from it, no running from the probably embarrassing story that the callsign was born from the ashes of or trying to fix the personality trait that people hated enough to give you shit for or loved enough to want to remind you of every day. 

For Mickey Garcia, his callsign had two stories. The first was the most commonly told whenever he was asked about it. He was simply a nerd. He loved all things Star Wars and Star Trek. He adored Battlestar Galactica and honestly? If it had a Star in the title he was convinced he’d already be obsessed with it if given the chance to binge the series or movie trilogy. He was a Fanboy, so much so his aviation helmet shared the same font as the Star Trek logo. He was obsessed, plain and simple. 

But there was also another thing Mickey Garcia was a huge fan of that earned him his callsign way back in the days of his fighter school training. He’d never forget the first time he heard you say it. Although he carried an encyclopaedic memory around, Mickey swore there was only ever one thing, one person, one gorgeous woman on his mind twenty for seven, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty five days of the year. 

The love of his life, his best friend (Don't tell Payback), his devoted wife. Mickey was well aware that he belonged in the sky. He’d wanted to be just like his father ever since he knew how to walk. There was never a question surrounding what Mickey Garcia would grow up to be. He spent more time in the sky than he did down on solid ground, that was just something you learnt to live with.

Mickey Garcia was also incredibly mindful of the fact his heart hadnt been to the earth since the first time he kissed you. When you loved him? You had sent it clear out of this world. He’d love you forever, be your devoted husband, lovingly and completely yours forever. 

“Nav and the kiddos settle in alright?” Payback asked as he and Fanboy ran through their pre-flight checks. “Kinda missed her annoying ass.” Fanboy chuckled softly in response, humming at the soft jab his best friend sent his wife. He knew the minor insult held no weight, hell–Payback had been the one who introduced the two of you in the first place. He knew you longer than Mickey and you had even been married for. 

“Only got a few boxes left to unpack.” Mickey explained as he checked all his weapon systems. “But yeah, it feels good to have them here, just not too sure how I'm gonna break it to the rest of the guys.” It wasn't that Mickey didn't want to tell the Dagger Squad, he always had every intention. But he wanted to make sure he could trust these people with his life before letting them into his family. After the events of the uranium mission and having been offered a permanent posting in North Island, Mickey felt the time was right. “Nav’s pretty keen to meet everyone though.”

That you were, so when Mickey mentioned that the gang were all meeting up on Saturday night for dinner and beers at their favourite watering hole, the Hard Deck, and wanted you and the kiddos to come along you were more than ecstatic to finally meet the people who had kept your husband safe. 

“Hey, Miles!” Mickey called out after the five year old who booked it from where he’d placed him down beside the car in the direction of the group of people who looked as if they’d transported into a parallel universe. “Miles! Hey buddy! Slow your roll alright.” Scooping up the tiny version of himself as Miles Garcia giggled at his own antics, Mickey caught sight of his squad. All staring at him wondering what the hell was going on. 

“Fanboy—who’s crotch goblin is that?” Hangman asked as he sneered and pointed at the child who now resided on his fathers hip. Watching as you came out from around the other side of the car with what seemed to be a smaller, very much younger version of the same child wrapped in a baby wrap around your chest. “And who’s this?” 

“Uh—“ Mickey cleared his throat as you made your way to his side, placing a gentle but loving kiss to his cheek before rubbing the small of his back for moral support. “Guys, this here’s my wife, Nav.” Smiling softly, you waved briefly before Mickey went on to introduce your kids. “This is Miles, he’s five and this is Morgan, she’s only—six months.” He hadn’t forgotten, but for a brief moment Mickey had to count with his fingers.

The silence was to be expected as the group of naval aviators who stood before you in the carpark of the Hard Deck Bar took in the new revelations that Fanboy was and had been married with kids the entire time they’d been in North Island. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you all.” You were the first to break the heavy silence. 

“You’re married?” Phoenix asked in disbelief, she was careful not to utter it in a way that you may have taken offense to. 

“You have kids?” Rooster couldn’t stop staring at the five year old in Mickey's arms. He looked so much like his dad it was kinda scary. 

“You had a family this whole time and didn’t tell anyone?” Hangman scoffed, he couldn’t believe it—how could Star Trek over here land a wife and two beautiful children but he couldn’t even get a damn date. “What if something had happened to you?”

“Ruben knew.” Fanboy explained as the group made their way inside, Phoenix instantly filed back to walk with you. She wanted to be the first person to tell you how great a guy your husband was—not that you didn’t already know. “He was my best man.” 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Bob asked the question everyone was asking. It wasn’t a black or white response. But nevertheless Mickey tried his best as Penny pointed them all in the direction of the tables she’d placed together. 

“They mean everything to me, I guess I just wanted to make sure that you guys were all good people, good enough for them.” Although it hurt just the slightest amount, Bob understood. “Don’t tell him I said this but the jury is still out on Hangman—I just didn’t see another viable option of introducing Nav to everyone.” Bob couldn’t help but to laugh as he looked down at the child still in Mickey's arms. “I feel awful for not telling you sooner Bob.” 

“Don’t be, your family’s important, I understand wanting to keep them safe, keep them all to yourself.” 

Fanboy left it at that as he turned his attention back to settling his family down for dinner amongst his friends. Especially keeping an eye on you before settling in beside you. A hand gravitating to your knee under the table as Mickey looked into the wrap—Morgan sleeping soundly against your chest. 

“So Nav, what do you do for a living?” Hangman asked from across the table as you looked over to provide the sandy blonde your utmost attention. 

“I own a small photography business.” You were humble in your talents. “Boudoir mostly.” 

“Say Phoenix? You wanna get in on that action?” Rooster taunted as he popped a few peanuts in his mouth, wiggling his eyebrows, leaning back on the chair he’d perched himself on across the table from Natasha. “I’ll volunteer as tribute.”

“In your wet dreams Bradshaw—“ Phoenix hissed as she took a sip of her beer. “That’s a pretty dramatic juxtaposition from a naval aviator?” Natasha turned her head back to you, watching as you soothed the little girl who was starting to stir in her wrap. “How’d you actually meet?” 

“The academy—“ Mickey interrupted as Miles got to work colouring with the crayons Payback had asked Penny for when he went to fix up the first round at the bar. Returning with beers and ample colouring supplies for his favourite five year old. “Y/n was in the Navy.” It was yet another revelation the gang had a hard time processing. “Everyone still calls her Nav though, a hard habit to kick.” 

Mickey Garcia wasn’t all that fly with the ladies, he never really had been. He’d had a few girlfriends in his short life but nothing ever lasted long enough for him to start thinking about a future with them, or a family for that matter. 

“Hey Mickey! I got a friend I want you to meet!” Ruben cried out from across the amphitheater. Mickey pried his eyes away from the book he’d been reading for five seconds to turn his head his best friend's way. He’d heard of the girl from across the street, but your paths had never had a chance to cross until now. “This is Y/n, Michelle’s younger sister.” Within the space of five entire seconds, the trajectory of Mickey's life changed forever. He’d never been a huge believer in love at first sight, but as you made yourself known out from behind Rubens shoulder? Mickey knew he was fucked, in over his head. 

“You must be Fanboy?” Mickey stood as you held your hand out to shake his. 

“Who?” He asked, smiling bright as he found himself getting lost in your eyes. Ruben just laughed to himself, knowing from this moment going forward he’d forever be known as the man who introduced Mickey Garcia to the literal love of his life. 

“Fanboy right? Ruben said you’re a big fan of Star Trek—“ Mickey had never laid his eyes on a woman more beautiful than you. 

“Oh he did, did he?” Deadpanning Ruban, Mickey held his glare for a few seconds before turning back to you. “Well uh—yeah I guess that’s me, Mickey Fanboy Garcia.” 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.” You had, and you’d loved everything you’d heard so far. So much so you’d begged Ruben to just cut the shit and introduce you already. He’d been dangling a carrot on a stick right in front of you for months.

“All good things I hope?” Mickey raised his eyebrow as you beamed his way, you’d definitely been shaking hands for far too long but you were both past the point of awkwardness, both just seeing who would break first. Smirking at one another like children. 

“Only the very best.” 

“I was uh, a navigation officer, callsign wasn’t all that unique but it did the trick.” You shrugged, looking around at all Mickey's friends as they tried to process everything they were learning. “I understand this is probably a lot for everyone.” 

“It’s not.” Rooster smiled as he looked at Fanboy. There’s been a switch flipped inside the proud mustache having aviator who loved a good Hawaiian shirt. “It just means that Fanboys got a lot more on the line than any of us ever thought.”

“Dadda?” The little boy sitting next to Mickey cooed just loud enough to gain his father’s attention. “I’m hungry—“

“Foods coming bud, here, you wanna sit on dad’s lap so you can tell all dads friends what you wanna be when you grow up?” The brown eyed, dark curly haired boy who looked far too much like Mickey scrambled from the seat he’d been sitting onto into his dads lap. Mickey let out an oof sound when Miles slammed his entire body weight down into his lap. He thought his dad was some kind of superhero who never felt pain or got tired. 

Whenever Mickey was deployed and on a detachment like he’d been on recently, you’d tell Miles that dad was off fighting bad guys and that once he knew everyone was safe and sound—he’d come home. Five year olds were easy to manipulate at bed time if you told them all the right things. 

“Go ahead buddy, tell ‘em what you told me.” Mickey coaxed the information he knew would melt his team's hearts out of his toddler by tickling his sides to invoke a chuckle so pure it even made Hangman smile. 

“I wanna be a superhero and fly planes like my Dadda.” 

“I never thought I’d hear someone say superhero and daddy in the same sentence while referring to Fanboy—“ Coyote snickered in the most wholesome way he could. “You got cute kids man I’ll give ya that.” 

“Nav, you look like you’re still glowing.” Bob mentioned cautiously. “You guys said Morgan’s only six months?” 

“Yeah—the last month and a bit was a little rough with the kiddos back in Miami while Mickey was stationed out here with you guys.” You were just thankful that everything had gone as well as it had and that everyone made it home. “But things are starting to mellow out.” 

“Do you not have paternity leave saved up Fanboy?” Jake Seresin was the last person Mickey ever thought that question would come from. But things weren’t that simple. 

“I’d basically just finished my leave when this assignment came about.” 

“It’s only for six weeks mamma.” Mickey cooed as he kissed your neck tenderly. Looking at you through the mirror of your bathroom as you applied a mud mask—Mickey had the same exact one plastered across his forehead and nose. His T-section. “I’ll be back before you even start to miss me.” 

“I know I know.” You smiled as softly as you possibly could. It wasn’t your husband’s fault he was government property and you knew better than anyone else now the Navy worked. “Still doesn’t change the fact it just be me and the kids—“

“I’ll call my parents and make sure they do a few weekends here and there.” It wasn’t a permanent solution, but it would help to patch the leak you knew would spring from time to time. “You know I don’t wanna leave you guys here, my girls and my best guy.” 

“But duty calls right, superman?” You turned in Mickey's embrace, with one move he had you up resting atop the vanity—legs on either side of his hips as he stood better yours. Your arms flung over your husband’s shoulders as he drank in the sight of you. His wife, his beautiful best friend, the mother of his two gorgeous children. 

“Hey you started that shit, it’s not my fault he thinks that.” Mickey beamed, leaning in in search of your lips. Kissing you softly before deepening the moment. Mickey had always been a big fan of self care days, he was adamant that’s how you both ended up with Morgan. “I love you Nav—I’ll be back before you know it.” 

“When do you leave?” It was four words that never got easier to ask, Mickey let the silence linger in the bathroom for a moment—just enjoying the time he had with you. You made things so easy, made it so easy to love you and the kids. Made it so easy for him to love his job despite the distance because even on his worst days Mickey knew he would eventually come home to you and it would be like he never even left. You were far too good for him and he knew that. 

“Thursday.” Mickey said just barely above a whisper as he leaned in to kiss you again. This time more passionate, a lot slower, needier. “Thursday around noon, Payback and I are gonna catch a cab together to the airport, I didn’t want you having to wrangle the kids up just to pile into the car an—“ You cut Mickey off by pulling him closer by the elastic of his boxer briefs, snapping the material back against his lower abdomen when his lips were back on yours. The groan he let slip into your mouth almost made you want to try for another baby. But the two of you were very much happy with the two you already had. 

“Just promise you’ll come home to us?” You knew it was an empty promise, the ever looming possibility that something could go terribly wrong always crossed your mind. But you trusted Ruben to bring your husband home safely every time they flew. 

“Nav my dear, I’m lovingly and completely yours forever.” 

“Believing me, it was the longest six weeks of my life.” You sighed, running your hand gently over the sleeping baby girl wrapped up on your chest. “But we got through it and now it just feels good to be close again, I’ve heard such good things about all of you so I feel surrounded by family already.” 

Looking around the table as food started to arrived in bits and pieces. Mickey knew he had it all. He had his friends, he had his family and to him that’s all he ever really cared about. Hearing you laugh with Bob and challenging Hangman, watching you bond with Phoenix and click with Rooster. Mickey loved how Coyote sparked a flame inside you he hadn’t seen in years talking about what it was like to be a navigator. You didn’t talk about it all that much these days, you were just happy to be a mum and a devoted wife. But sometimes, every now and again you would miss the ocean. Missed what it was like to roam patrol boats and look longingly to whatever coast you were near. Mickey knew that, but Coyote challenged it. 

He loved his friends but they were now his family. Mickey Garcia had never felt so much love radiating around him as he sat with you and his children amongst the people who carried him throughout the day. His squad, his teammates. 

His family. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

A few months after the shocking discovery that Mickey Garcia was a husband and Father and not just some Fanboy Star Trek geek had settled in—the dagger squad had seemingly become like much loved furniture amongst the Garcia household. So much so that some had their own keys, some always had their hands up to babysit, some even knew that the back window was always slightly ajar and could be opened if drunkenly in search of a place to crash. 

Your house was the closest to the Hard Deck out of all the other houses that the daggers resided in, which meant more often than not you’d come down stairs in the early hours of the morning to feed Morgan and see a very hungover, very loudly snoring, very much passed out Jake Hangman Seresin on your couch. His chest sunken as he slept soundly, a small patch of drool seeping into the fabric with the back window cracked. 

“Jake—“ You’d nudged him, watching with a humorous smile as he jolted awake. “Coffee, drink it—then get out of my damn house.” 

“Yes mamma.” Jake would always reply, the term of endearment something the group picked up early into your friendship. Quickly becoming the one they all respectfully ran to with all their promises. The mum of the group.

Although Jake was the serial lounge hogger, it was Bradley Bradshaw who had once had a key and saw any time of the day or night to make himself at home. He never meant it in a malicious manner—he was just excited to be apart and of something bigger than himself for once. Neither you nor Mickey minded all that much—until Rooster had walked in on you and Mickey bare backing it on the same couch Jake would fling himself across after his drunken escapades. 

“So fucking pretty Nav.” Mickey cooed as you bounced on his length. Straddling his waist as his hands helps your hips steady—helping to guide you up and down at the pace you set. “God what did I ever do to deserve you—Ah fugh—!” 

“Ohhhh fuckk! Mickey baby you feel so good—why don’t you put another baby in me huh?” 

“Yeah? is that what you want darling girl? Another one of us?” He wasn’t going to say he hadn’t thought about it, a third little Garcia running around. The two you had were perfect, but a third? You’d be outnumbered. “You always look so pretty pregnant.” 

It was otherworldly the way Mickey looked up at you as he took your nipple into his mouth, you were still breastfeeding so the sensation of your husband sucking on your tits was all too much. Leaking into his mouth. 

“Ohhhh fughh! Mickey!” You were still bouncing, the head of Mickey cock kissing against your cervix as he slipped a hand between the pair of you to work you over. “I’m gonna—“ 

“Holy shit—“ Rooster stood in the entryway covering his eyes. “Holy shit I didn’t see anything!” The sound of your husband's co-worker standing in the entryway sent you skyrocketing off Mickey and fumbling for the nearest throw blanket. “Swear on my mother’s grave I saw nothing Mick!” 

“What the hell are you doing here Rooster! The door was locked!?” Mickey was holding a decorative pillow to cover his hard-on. His skin still flushed red because he was so fucking close it wasn’t funny—he was about to become a father of three. 

“You gave me a key?” Rooster caught himself smirking for a brief moment as the sound of The Jonas Brothers old number one hit ‘Burnin’ Up’ played through the house. It had been your song since yours and Mickey's Naval academy days. He’d gone as Joe Jonas one year for Halloween. The song itself had even played at your wedding. “Jonas Brothers? Really Fanboy, really?” 

“Bradshaw I’m a pacifist alright—“ Mickey sighed as he took a few steps towards the sandy blonde who was just in search of a ham and cheese sandwich. “But I’m about to pass my fist across your face.” It was needlessly to say Rooster, from that point going forward—always checked in before he entered with caution. 

But it didn’t mean the never ending revolving door of ragtag aviators stopped. No—if anything your house had never been fuller. 

“Hey Lovely.” You greeted Phoenix as she kicked her boots off, Bradley wasn’t too far behind her, next was Bob. “Here’s your Valentine’s Day package.” Unbeknownst to the group of aviators, a few months ago when Rooster had teased Phoenix about possibly taking up the opportunity to do a boudoir shoot with you, she actually said fuck it? And why not? She was a powerful woman after all who deserved to feel sexy and feminine. “There’s about fifty printouts, the dried petals from the roses and a thumb drive with like one hundred digital copies from the shoot on it.” 

“Thanks Nav—and honestly I can pay for it, really.” Natasha took the little box you gifted her before taking you into a warm embrace. 

“Don’t be silly, it’s on me.” Was all you said before you found yourself being hauled away by your screaming daughter, she was rather clinging at the moment and couldn’t be away from you for more than ten consecutive minutes before she thought the world was ending. It didn’t help that Mickey had shaved his head. She hardly recognised him at the moment. “Alright alright I’m coming darling.” 

“Did you actually do a boudoir shoot?” Rooster's hand slid up the side of Natasha's hip, pulling her into him as he whispered in her ear. “Because if so���“ Before Bradley has a chance to say he wouldn’t mind being privy to those private photos, Phoenix caught him out, leaving the taller, blonde aviator who’d subsequently stolen her heart over the course of a few years in a puddle on the floor in one of his best mate’s houses. 

“They’re your Valentine’s Day gift.” 

“Bob honey, you want a sandwich?” Mickey loved the way you just so effortlessly took care of his friends the same way you took care of him. “I’ve got peanut butter or I can do ham and cheese?” 

Bobs flushed a nice shade of red as he sat down beside Fanboy at the dining table, trying not to eavesdrop on the fact Rooster and Pheonix were in his peripheral vision practically eye fucking the ever living shit out of each other. 

“Ham and cheese please Nav.” Is all Bob utters before Miles is climbing into his lap. The two had a unique bond now that they practically wore the same kind of glasses. Miles thought he looked weird with glasses because none of the other kids in his glass wore them. But then Bob told him that his glasses could be his superhero disguise, for when he’s not saving the world like his dad. 

“Do you wanna play in the tree house with me uncle Bob?” How the fuck could he say no? Nodding softly before flipping the five year old over his shoulder. 

“Here, don’t forget your sandwich!” You cooed out as Bob made his way through the kitchen with your son strung upside down over his shoulder. “Eat before you go back to work, Mickey told me you passed out the other day because you hadn’t eaten since before seven.” Bob was quick to deadpan your husband as he took the sandwich you held out for him. Leaning in to kiss your cheek softly. 

“Thanks Nav.” He took a bite before pointing at Mickey, holding your son over his shoulder with one hand wrapped tight around the little boy's ankle as he laughed and screamed as the blood rushed to his head. “Snitches get stitches!” 

“Yeah dad! Snitches get stitches!” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

The Garcia household had become the home base for most things. Birthdays, public holidays, general get togethers, fried chicken Fridays, and seedy Sundays. But most importantly your humble abode had become the place people went to feel like they were at home. Not everyone was as fortunate to have their families in North Island. So you and Mickey became sort of the group mum and dad. 

“You aren't are you?” Ruben asked with wide eyes as you gifted him the small pair of socks that said best uncle ever on the tops. “You’re pregnant?” 

“After the display I walked in on a few months ago I'm shocked it hasn't come sooner–” Rooster mumbled as he looked at Mickey who sat nursing baby Morgan. Now a year old. “Congratulations by the way.” 

Your first two pregnancies had been pretty up and down. With baby Miles you suffered from hyperemesis. That was a little rough to get through when Mickey was deployed, but you had his mum and dad around to help you with things. He’d been your hospital birth baby. Epidural, all the drugs and medications readily available to help ease the pain. Morgan however, she’d been the at home birth baby. She was a breezy pregnancy so it made you wonder what it would be like to give birth at home unmedicated. 

“AAAAAHHHHH!!!” You were a sweaty mess as you laid back against Mickey in the blow up birthing pool in the middle of your living room floor. “I can't!! I can’t fucking do this!” 

“You can mamma, you’re so strong yeah? I've got you alright, you’re doing so well Nav.” Mickey had been a saint, he just knew what to do and when to do it. He was just thankful to be a part of such a magical experience. “You’re gonna bring our baby girl into the world–” It wasn't Mickey's fault that you were losing your mind from the pain. You just wanted it to be over, letting your head fall back against his shoulder as you cried in pain. 

“I fucking hate you for doing this to me.” Mickey couldn't help but to laugh softly as you placed a cool cloth against your forehead. “You did this to me, you idiot.” 

“I remember this being a two player game love, it wasn't just me.” There was not a single thing on this earth Mickey Fanboy Garcia wouldn't do for you. “You can’t not not deliver this baby Nav, she's coming regardless.” But when you groaned in agony? He wished more than anything he could take that pain away from you–but he couldn't. “You’re so beautiful–” 

“Oh my god it HURTS!” You shouted as another contraction took over your body, Mickey could feel how tight your belly was as the water lapped around your legs, spreading them to find more comfort as your doula walked you through what was going on from the edge of the pool. “Shut up Mick!” 

“Shutting up–” He mumbled as you groaned, so exhausted from your contractions. You didn't mean to lash out, so when your contraction was subsiding, giving you a little repreve for five seconds, you sobbed in in his shoulder-your back against his bare chest. 

“I didn't mean to call you an idiot, I'm sorry.” Mickey just kissed your temple lovingly. 

“You can call me whatever you want, I'm lovingly and completely yours forever.” 

“Yeah, congratulations guys, surely you’re gonna get the ol snip now hey Fanboy?” Jake smirked as he made a snipping gesture his way. 

“I've already booked the appointment for next month.” You added as you stood from your place in the living room. The entire group had come over for fried chicken friday. “If anyone else in the room wants to get a vasectomy let me know and I'll ring and add you to the booking.”

“Don't you dare come near me, that kinda shits barbaric.” Coyote cupped at his crotch. 

“It's minor surgery that can be reversed asshat.” Phoenix added as she slapped Javy upside the head in response to his statement. It made you all laugh for a moment until the conversation was drawn back to Bob’s latest conundrum. His crush on the new admin assistant in D block on base. It just felt like home when everyone was filling your home with laughter. Thinking back now you couldn't have imagined not knowing any of them. Ever. 

***~***~***~***~***~

Callsings. 

Everyone had one–every one carried a story, a reason behind the name that colleagues and superior officers referred to you as and knew you as. Once you had your call sign it stuck to you like super glue. There was no changing it, no hiding from it, no running from the probably embarrassing story that the callsign was born from the ashes of or trying to fix the personality trait that people hated enough to give you shit for or loved enough to want to remind you of every day. 

For Mickey Garcia, his callsign had two stories. The first was the most commonly told whenever he was asked about it, whenever his friends and colleagues were asked about it. They could lie and say it was because he was the biggest nerd they knew, but they didn't. 

Each time Rooster or Bob, Phoenix of Payback, Hangman or Coyote were asked about their friends' callsign. They told the truth. And the fact of the matter was Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia was and forever would be lovingly and completely yours forever.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

“The updates are making me like Idia more, but in the same way you'd like a character for being pathetic” I’m shocked you didn’t like Idia at least from what I remember? He’s basically the same as Rollo (a character you do like I think) and in more ways than one. They’re both gloomy looking guys and traumatized big bros that are self righteous and pathetic. What kept you from liking Idia before if you don’t mind me asking?

[Referencing something I said in this post!]

Okay, confession time: when I was a little kid (I’m talking like 7-10 years old), I was SUPER into Greek mythology and more specifically the story of Hades and Persephone. I ate up ALL the Hades and Persephone retellings/reinterpretations I could find and actively hunted for more 💀 so you’d think I’d like Idia, who is twisted from Hades, given how I gravitated to Octavinelle because of my attachment to The Little Mermaid in my childhood…

I think what puts me off of Idia in spite of his similarities to Rollo, a character I do really love, is a combination of Idia's appearance and his attitude.

To tackle the shallower aspect first, I actually don't like characters that look "too" gloomy. I would say Rollo is stoic-looking, but not gloomy? He has a pretty neutral face most of the time and the only gloomy thing about him at a glance is the dark circles under his eyes. With Idia... There's a LOT going on here. The hair is definitely unique, but I've never been into super long hair. The nature of it kind of overshadows his face and Idia usually looks miserable as a default. I've mentioned before that I'm unnerved by his coloration too; the super pale skin plus the blue lips is reminiscent of a corpse and, well... while I do see there being an audience that finds him beautiful, I don't think that's a cute look for him.

Now, his attitude. I'm not going to fault Idia for being passionate about his hobbies, as we all have our niches that we're super into. What irks me is how Idia expresses himself and acts out on behalf of those interests. He talks down to people who "don't get it" and takes other measures to defend the things he likes that I think is crossing a line. For example, he tracks down the IP addresses of Ignihyde mob students that defaced his favorite idol group's website. In the EN version, Idia threatens to doxx the mobs too (though he never does, this was just a localization decision). Yeah, you could do that I guess... but should you? 😭 The other characters also do questionable things (as a J word fan, I cannot deny this) but those actions are usually so outlandish no one irl would do it (like how Azul is a high school student that runs his own shady business). Idia's behavior, meanwhile, embodies some very real and very toxic aspects of fandom culture. I think part of why I disliked Idia at first is also his manner of speaking; it's riddled with so much internet lingo that it's hard to take him seriously sometimes. This is even more true of the EN version of the game, which has added even more slang than was in JP. Like... sorry, am I NOT supposed to be giggling when OB Idia is making threats while talking like an enraged gamer (both in EN and JP)? There is a ceiling on how much pathetic I can take in one sitting, and Idia far exceeds it every time he talks. Other characters (like Rollo making cheesy villain speeches, Azul being teased, Jamil's DOKKAN, etc.) have their moments of funny ha ha-cringe as well, but at least I can still see them in a serious light.

Books 6 and 7 are enhancing my opinion of Idia solely because they focus on the "traumatized big brother" part to his character. In Glorious Masquerade too... Idia gets the courage to call Rollo out because he knows their experiences are so similar. I think the storyline was done very well, and I loved seeing how Idia grows from an event that no doubt affected him deeply and still continues to influence him to this day. It's clear that he cares deeply about both Orthos and will step up to protect them. I LOVE THAT FOR HIM, it's not as though Idia is completely throwing aside one brother for the other, he's acknowledging them both as his "true" brothers. The way he goes from laughing to crying in his post-OB flashback... Idia getting so mad at us attacking Phantom Ortho with lightning... the willingness to "go" with OG!Ortho to the world beyond... apologizing to Robo!Ortho for falling for the dream's promises of eternal happiness... Aaaah, it's just too good 😭

DIHLBASOFYIAYVYEBfsWPYWPF WHAT CAN I SAY... I like me a reliable onii-san character 🤡 I'M NOTHING IF NOT PREDICTABLE

[izicodes]

Sunday 21st January 2024

>> I made a post yesterday of me mini-ranting about how I don't have any proper career goals because the ones I made years ago I've achieved now, so I'm questioning myself "What now? 🙃".

Then I remembered I have a recruiter mate and I emailed him asking for help and he gave me a long list of what I could do now to get better from my position. And I like sharing help so here's what he said + my own notes of what I understood from them~!

Hope this helps you too~!

🩶 Assess Current Skills and Set Goals

Identify your strengths and weaknesses.

Set clear goals for technical and leadership skill development.

My notes: I am good at some languages/technologies whilst I am a complete noob in others. Yes, I use them but I am not confident in them and always have to Google what is going on. I need to make a list of all the languages I am good at and those I am not so good at. Maybe even list why I'm not good at them. The same goes for non-technical skills. Got to make plans/goals on how I will improve them and get out of my comfort bubble on my comfort technologies and expand! Leadership skills would probably improve when I get solo projects given/have to present at Team meetings on my own in front of everyone~!

🩶 Technical Skill Enhancement

Deepen your proficiency in current programming languages.

Explore new technologies and frameworks relevant to your field.

My notes: I already answered this in the top one, but I shouldn't neglect my current skills to be able to learn the new ones. With the languages I am good and confident in, I still feel as though I haven't reached the more advanced stuff of that language. OOP stuff skill scares me in any programming language so I need to face my fears and learn it. From time to time, check what's popular in the market in terms of technology used and see which one aligns with my dream tech stack to use in the future and make plans to learn and develop myself~!

🩶 Project Leadership and Collaboration

Volunteer to lead small projects or take on more responsibility in current projects.

Collaborate with cross-functional teams to understand different aspects of project development.

My notes: At work, I eventually (since I'm still new) should ask to be the lead on some projects just like my higher-up developer is to me. Lead my own projects, without having to report to someone unless in dire need or when the project is complete for testing, etc. The team is small so I should talk to the non-developers in the team and see from their POV how the project is. Understand different types of people in the team and communicate effectively. All of this can be transferred to non-work projects like an online group project on an Open-Source project on GitHub for example - lead projects and taking more responsibilities. Being able to talk to people with different skillsets as we work on a group project~!

🩶 Attend Workshops and Networking Events

Attend workshops, conferences, and networking events to expand your knowledge and connections.

Seek mentorship from experienced professionals, including CTOs.

My notes: My gosh, I dread this honestly. I'm still a relatively shy person so going to workshops and events still brings small anxiety but that's something I do want to break~! I will never know what I will learn, who I will meet etc if I don't go to one! I want to aim that this year I would like to go to one, preferably in or near my city. I always love the idea of having a mentor, honestly, I was going to pay someone to help mentor me on that part ( >> loads of cites offer mentorships for programming!!! ) but I feel like my manager right now is that person so I will keep working with him to develop more~!

In conclusion, self-improvement as a programmer is both challenging and super hard to get started BUT rewarding in the end~!

[thefreakandthehair]

@eddiemonth prompt, oct 16th: Library | Eyes on Fire - Blue Foundation | Curious a/n: little Eddie & Wayne, ADHD!Eddie, pre-canon Eddie & Jonathan friendship. un-betaed because I'm challenging myself to write these in under an hour. read on ao3 | ao3 masterpost here

All his life, all seven years of it so far, Eddie has been told to be quiet, to sit still, and to not touch things. He can’t help it most of the time– there are so many things to explore, and learn, and find, so many different textures to feel. Eddie learns best when he’s able to physically hold something in hands to help him focus and it’s gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion. 

But living with Wayne, at least for the summer, he’s been given more opportunities than ever before to lean into his curious nature without being scolded. They’ve gone to museums, petting zoos, science centers, even the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Each new experience is a novelty and Eddie’s loved every single one of them. Today though, Eddie’s nervous. 

“You almost ready, kid?” Wayne pokes his head into Eddie’s bedroom, warm smile and a cocked eyebrow. Eddie’s been taking his time, untying and retying his shoelaces over and over to stall. 

“Uh, yeah! Yeah, I’m ready.” Eddie offers a tight smile, one that feels faux even to him. 

“Do you not wanna go? We can try something else if the library isn’t your thing.” 

Eddie shakes his head. “No, I wanna go! It’s just…”

Wayne enters the room fully, sitting down on the bed next to Eddie who fidgets with his fingers and looks down at the floor, his feet swaying back and forth over the edge of the bed.

“Just what?” He doesn’t touch him, but Wayne’s presence alone is comforting enough. 

“What if I get in trouble? Aren’t you supposed to be super quiet and stuff in libraries?” 

Eddie knows Wayne well enough by now to know that he’d never get in trouble that way that he has with his dad, but he doesn’t want to disappoint or embarrass Wayne, either. 

“Well, yeah, on the grown up floor for the cranky old guys like me,” Wayne bumps his shoulder against Eddie’s, and Eddie can’t help but smile– real this time. “But there’s a whole children’s room that has games, lots of books, fun stuff. And if it feels like too much, you just give me our little signal and we’re outta there.” 

When Eddie first started going places with Wayne, they’d developed their secret signal that probably wasn't too secret but worked just the same– Eddie would stand next to Wayne and step on his foot. Not hard, not enough to hurt, but enough that Wayne would notice, look down, and see Eddie’s overwhelm. And like promised, they’re outta there. No questions asked. 

“Okay, I think I’m ready then.” Eddie stands up and heads toward the front of the trailer. “Let’s go.” 

They’re at the library for all of a few minutes, Eddie hesitant to leave Wayne’s side as they scour the fantasy books, when he meets another kid around his age, maybe a little younger. Both boys go to reach for the same illustrated copy of a book about dragons. 

“Oh, sorry, you can take it,” Eddie offers, moving his hand instinctually. 

“No, no it’s okay, you were looking at it first. Go ahead.” The other boy responds, shrugging and looking back at the shelf. 

There’s a woman behind him, smiling down fondly as she speaks. “Sweetie, why don’t you share with your new friend?” 

“Yeah, if you wanna share, we could. Only if you want to though.” Eddie bounces on his heels, hopeful. He doesn’t get to make a lot of friends when he’s home with his parents. 

“Okay, yeah,” the little boy smiles carefully and pulls the book from the shelf. 

Eddie follows him to a small table at the end of the aisle and they pour over the pages, full of colorful illustrations and short stories. Eddie loses track of time, but he and his new friend, who he learns is named Jonathan, are just kids who don’t need to watch the clock. 

They finish the book and return for another, and then another. Eddie's disappointed when the day ends and they have to leave, but he sees Wayne trade contact information with Jonathan's mom, Joyce.

"We'll see you again next week, Eddie. It was so nice to meet you." Joyce smiles, sweet and comforting, and Eddie isn't so afraid of the library anymore.

[jennilah]

Jenna, can you give us a rundown of who these Saw people are for everyone who follows you but has not seen and will never see the Saw franchise?

ok my beautiful and very accepting followers gather round i am going to try to provide you some basic context to these characters that feature heavily on this blog these days, and i HAVE smoked a bowl of weed already

majorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fucking series spoilers for anyone who might actually kind of be interested

mkay first of all despite what my blog might lead you to believe, this guy is like. the OG antagonist. the main dude for the whole franchise even when hes not technically present for most plotlines. all of his scenes are baller af

his name is John Kramer and he is the original Jigsaw Killer. He truly believes he can rehabilitate people who dont appreciate their lives (or commit crimes or take advantage of people) by putting them in saw traps. he pretends its not personal but it totally is. hes always putting people he personally beefs with in traps.

hes deeply fucked up but also really fascinating tbh like the whole fun of his character is seeing what reason hes gonna come up with to justify his next atrocity and how he manipulates everyone around him into doing his bidding. hes a mastermind. hes also Peepaw. Peepaw is kind of crazy but we love Peepaw

This is Billy hes a puppet

Billy is good

This is Adam Stanheight everyones favorite dead boy

hes so funny and charming and is also such a sopping wet pathetic sad rat. everyone loves Adam. We love pretending Adam is gonna come back but hes been super dead for years

This is Lawrence Gordon the guy he was stuck in the bathroom with and he does, yes, saw his foot off to free himself from his chain. hes an oncologist

everyone loves shipping him with Adam, thats called Chainshipping and its very cute but also very sad

esp because Lawrence turns to the dark side and becomes an apprentice to Jigsaw and never went back to save Adam like he PROMISED what the FUCK

but also i love Apprentice!Lawrence because of all the nutty implications and what other fun it has given us (such as AUs where Adam lives and even sometimes joins Lawrence as an apprentice himself)

This is Amanda Young she has many,. haircuts

I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER 😭😭😭😭 Shes an apprentice to Jigsaw and his pseudo adopted daughter and they have such a fucked up and tragic found family with each other.

i love that shes messy and emotional and vengeful and sarcastic and battling personal demons and questioning whether John's "rehabilitation" method really works (aka saw traps) and being unsure if she can take up the mantle when he passes. but he believes in her. and god they make me fucking emotional

this is Lynn Denlon shes a doctor kidnapped to treat John's cancer. and people ship her with Amanda, thats Shotgunshipping. it goes pretty hard tbh

like their scenes go fucking crazy through a shipping lens oh my fucking god. actually they all do tbh thats part of the fun of shipping in this franchise

oh boy big sigh here we go

this is Detective Mark Hoffman who is unfortunately my favorite character and i am REALLy high now. if u ever get confused like MANY of us did, you can recognize him by his bitch lips and/or boobies. ugh im gonna throw up i hate his ass

that last one oh my fucking god

anyway hes actually awful but i love him so much and at first i was scared that i was the only one who did LMAO.. anyway he also gets recruited by Jigsaw as another apprentice when he was in a very dark place, having just killed the murderer of his little sister. he made it look like a saw trap to frame Jigsaw.

but Jigsaw found out & was like nuh uh bitch you're working for me now, or else I'm telling on you.

But then Hoffman was like guess what bitch I LOVE it here and i LOVE killing. he becomes the Jigsquad problem child and proceeds to kill or manipulate everyone he needed to so he could be the sole "Jigsaw" remaining. But he's sloppy and paranoid af so the FBI is on his ass from day 1. And the more he kills, the sloppier he gets, and the more frantic and unable to dig himself out of this hole he gets. and the more violent and crazy he gets. But the more crazy he gets, the more he keeps evading death like a cockroach. For real, watching his downfall was the major appeal of his character for me, and the start of my downfall..ing in love with him. lord almighty

anyway everyone hates his ass and we LOVE bullying him!!!!! he deserves it. for all of the atrocities hes committed and also because hes such a smarmy little shit. even Amanda bullies him

and then we have Peter Strahm who shows up and hates Hoffman immediately, as you do. u can tell its him from his ridiculous eyelashes

and, YEAH, YOUVE GUESSED IT......... PEOPLE LIKE TO SHIP HIM WITH HOFFMAN.......... I KNOW..... RIGHT.... COULDNT BE ME.......

Because he is Hoffman's biggest adversary for two movies, knowingly in one. It's a classic cat and mouse game.

Anyway we love Peter Strahm!!!!! He's also an asshole! He's extremely hotheaded and short tempered but extremely passionate about the case. like, his dedication goes crazy. He's also quite the sassy bitch himself

but its BECAUSE he is also caring and emotional, especially towards his work partner Lindsey Perez WHO WE LOVE BECAUSE SHES AMAZING AND CARING AND SHE'S BEEN PETER'S PARTNER AND FRIEND FOR 5 YEARS THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER I LOVE THEM

and those are the characters but ur probably like "what the fuck is up with the glass coffin" well my friends that is what us Hoffstrahmers refer to as our roman empire.

um i ran out of room for pictures :) but by now yall have seen the two traps reblogged and drawn by me a BILLION times, and those are: the water cube trap, and the glass coffin

so the deal with those:

the water cube trap: Strahm runs off to find Jigsaw himself after wildly following clues with no backup because he's so worked up from Perez getting hurt earlier and he sets off on revenge immediately. Hoffman catches him and puts him in the water cube.

It's meant to just kill him. he wasnt supposed to survive it. but Strahm is suddenly the main character when he fucking survives an unwinnable saw trap the fuckin crowd goes wild, it was fuckin sick dawg

and then through a series of Hoffman backstory flashbacks that he daydreams, he figures out the entirety of Hoffman's real secret identity and sets off to go catch him

and thats when he finds:

The Glass Coffin Trap: the instructions on the Jigsaw tape tell him to get into the coffin, it will hurt him but he will have a chance to survive. "do you trust me?" but he KNOWS its Hoffman and he doesnt trust that motherfucker so he doesnt get in. Hoffman approaches the scene, they get in a scuffle, and Strahm pushes him into the coffin and seals it.

but hoffman is like "neener neener poopoo you're an idiot" and tells him to listen to the rest of the tape. which tells him that if he doesnt get in the coffin, he's gonna fuckin die bro lmao rip

and so he does! hoffman, in the coffin, sinks into the ground like some cartoon villain and the walls close in and squeeze Strahm to death

anyway at first Coffinshipping to me was kind of a joke like just classic Asshole x Asshole, Enemies to Lovers, Hero x Villain shenanigans. Teehee what if they KISSED... in the COFFIN... and all.

but then i read exactly 1 fic and i was completely convinced entirely of the angst possibilities of these two. the "what if"s that were possible with them. the little Hoffstrahm community i found has been so fucking awesome their ideas are so fucking fun, and I'm having so much fun thinking of art of them and fics of them and ugh i love it here

[mushroomnoodles]

I really love Vampires and Tarots as an aesthetic and Simon and Betty as the lover fit that so well. I have a few questions about this AU.

How did the lovers find out about Morri? Did they fear Simon was intolerant of blood or something else?

Did the Vampire King find out about Simon and his powerful wife? (I'd imagine the Vampire King would be interested the possibility of a Vampire reproducing natural instead of a bite. And the side bonus of a power Vampire like Betty must sound appealing. )

Since Simon and Betty didn't separate and Simon didn't find the crown, did they meet Marceline or is this a the Star situation?

Finally how did Simon have the baby, is this a golbaby situation or something else?

Thanks! Your posts are just the best!

ok, buckle the fuckle up because this is a long ass post! i'm slapping a cut on it so you don't have to scroll forever but the general cws still apply- cw/tw for sfw, non kink mpreg and once again, two entire drops of blood.

i'd like to start out with saying THE HANGED MAN/vamp simon definitely had the roughest pregnancy of my au simons.. even compared to "vanilla" simon carrying golbetty's child.

nothing super serious, of course, but.. it didn't help that vamp simon is also physically weaker than other vampires. simon's undead body was not exactly equipped to GROW a life. at first, he couldn't stomach anything- everything he drank came right back up, which weakened him severely. his nausea was BAAAD.

for the first few months of pregnancy the only thing he could keep down was grade A human blood. this is how they found out simon was pregnant in the first place- the lack of blood was making him ill, and simon couldn't even do his regular duties, he spent so much time sick. vampires don't get sick. betty was seeing a repeat of something that happened a long time before.. and took him in to see someone with the power of intuition to tell them what ailed him- TEMPERANCE.

simon had finally been able to keep some blood down, so he wasn't so exhausted when they did visit her.

...they were very confused, but betty was overjoyed! simon was too, but ever the thinker, he wanted to know HOW. the same question the vampire king and the rest of the inner circle had, too. they kept simon's pregnancy a secret from most- with the day a weakness for them, the threat of vampire hunters, and the possibility of a new way to reproduce, the vampire king wanted to keep this exciting news secret until they could figure out the details.

simon, not wanting to be poked and prodded like an exhibit, graciously offered to research the phenomenon himself.

yeah. he has no idea.

the whole inner circle waited to see what kind of child simon would give birth to, given his and betty's powers. would their child inherit those abilities from them, or have something new? what did a living vampire entail?

simon was honestly glad he wasn't being paraded around for public eye, because pretty much every pregnancy symptom hit simon like a truck, even mood swings and cravings. and he was THIRSTY. so thirsty. little miracle needed a lot of nourishment and simon even began to crave actual food- which betty went out of her way to procure for him. (morrigan was alive after all!)

seeing simon so sensitive to his environment and working so hard to find an answer to something she felt he didn't have to worry about sort of set her wife/mother instincts into overdrive.. betty was suuper fucking protective of simon and was not afraid to snap at people or refuse circle visitors for him.

plus, morrigan was very strong and very big, and theyd leave little bruises on simon's belly sometimes. and, naturally, vampire morrigan took longer than nine months to be ready- simon carried them for more like 18 months. but they arrived safely, soundly, and surprisingly quietly, despite simon's undead body struggling for two days to bring them into the world. THE CHARIOT was actually eventually born via caesarean, because they were just.. taking way too long. they weren't ill, just sleepy.

granted, everyone was pretty fucking sleepy at that point.

and to answer the marceline question, yes, simon and betty found marceline as a child! marceline took to being nocturnal like a champ.

they had her for only a few months before they were approached by the vampire king, who had been watching them for a long time- before they even picked up marcy.

he'd seen them use their powers and their wits to stay alive in the apocalyptic wasteland- and later raise a child. he wanted them to join his group of vampires, and offered them marceline's safety in return.

simon and betty said yes, knowing they wouldn't be able to face off against a whole legion of vampires- and certainly not the king, if he decided a no was to be his enemy. and the rest is history.

ahh, i think i got everything?

[rbr4c1ng]

Hii! I was wondering if you could maybe explain the bus bros fallout or p2p gate or pretty much all of the McLaughlin-Newgarden lore to me since I'm only getting in to IndyCar now and I want to be caught up before the 500. I understand this is a big ask but I've seen that youve posted about it and I just NEED to know. Any links to other pieces of lore would also be much apreciated. Completely understand if you don't want to write anything though so thank you so much I advance!! <3

YES ABSOLUTELY I WILL EXPLAIN! this is my special interest dw i could write an 18 page essay about their lore.

SO basically scott came into indycar from supercars in 2020-2021 ish and him a josef started getting along like super well, which is honestly a bit odd bc josef is known to not really let people get so close to him, so scotty is a bit of an outlier in that respect.

eventually! they make bus bros!!! wooooo everyone loves it etc etc they have fun making it…. until they don’t! leading up to their breakup there were QUITE a few clues that they knew it was gonna end in flames like scott talked about it on off track (see audio excerpt below) and on hot seats with hinch if i remember correctly?

there’s also a fair share of articles that mention it. they basically knew it was inevitable but i don’t think anyone thought it was gonna happen so quickly??

so then the winter break leading into the 2024 szn happened! this is about when i started getting really into bus bros and was honestly pretty present for some of this shit (i was at the daytona 24 and st pete so i’ve got some first hand evidence but we will get to that later)… anyways so the rumors start going around that bus bros is over around?? st pete time i think??? a little bit earlier. which is odd given that they seemed okay with each other at the daytona 24, even though i thought it was strange that they weren’t both on tower motorsports anymore cause josef switched to penske porsche but GENERALLY it seemed okay (although based on this pic idk their relationship seems a little charged atp but it’s all speculation really)

then after the rumors come out i think it was jenna fryer’s article that did it in? (idk it has a paywall on it for me right now and i don’t care enough to find it here but there’s definitely excerpts floating around) now i do recommend to take anything jenna fryer says with a grain of salt bc she is essentially a gossip columnist for all intents and purposes. but the article basically said that josef and scotty were done and scott wouldn’t answer any questions about it and was only saying that they’re fine or to ask josef about it (tea from todays 100 days to indy episode actually…). they promptly took down the bus bros merch site and have been relatively quiet since then. at st pete they talked on the podium and didn’t seem too bad but i’ve seen other clips where they won’t even sit next to each other or speak to each other so take that as you will. podiums are pretty much just publicity, cameras everywhere, you’d probably want to seem at least cordial with your teammate.

(pic 1 is mine, pic 2 is a pic of my tv from todays episode LMFAO)

so heres where most of the speculative stuff comes in. Josef dissolved his media company, unfollowed everyone, and cancelled bus bros leading into the 2024 season because he wanted to “get rid of distractions”, and really we could leave it at that, but i find it hard to believe that that’s the only thing that happened.

Josef is the dictionary definition of Penske Perfect, you won’t get any closer to it than him. he’s fucking OBSESSED with this idea of being perfect. perfect season, perfect body, perfect car, perfect team. obviously this isn’t feasible, but scotty seemed to have broken through that block in his little Penske Perfect brain and got him to LIGHTEN UP A BIT. and then the 2023 season happened. sure, josef won the indy 500 but it was one of his worst season finishes in a while and, to make matters worse, scott BEAT him. little scotty mac, supercars champion transplant from 2021 beat josef newgarden at his own fucking game after breaking down his walls and making him soft. i can see how that scared josef honestly. so he ended it. Scott doesn’t see things on a plane of winning/losing imo, everything is just experience for him. hell, he didn’t even know if he would end up in indycar and he sure as hell didn’t think he’d win races so soon AND beat his teammate. to josef, it’s JUST winning/losing. if he’s losing, he needs to be better. and he lost sight of that for the 2023 season. that’s why he had to come back and put an end to the shenanigans bc he knows scott makes him soft.

but that’s just my speculation!!!!! literally could just be nothing. maybe it is to josef, but i know for a FACT it isn’t to scott.

OH and with the p2pgate stuff! basically they had a component in their car that. was not supposed to be there! that prevented race control from turning off their push to pass like normal. (marshall pruitt has a rlly good article explaining it all here) and they were caught in long beach when race control forgot to turn on the push to pass during the sunday warm up and HMMMMM why do the penske cars still have it???? when has this happened before??? oh ok st pete! now they’re disqualified. josef used 9 seconds of p2p when it was not enabled and scotty only used 1.9 and will used none. so i’m led to believe that it was a josef-centered choice IF it was intentional to use the p2p when it was supposed to be inactive.

now josef really laid down the water works for that press conference at barber to the point that i was having a VERY hard time watching it. i felt bad for the guy. he seemed really fucking upset and i almost believe that it WASNT on purpose but. it’s just too good to be true right?

honestly i think this all could tie back to the downfall of bus bros in that scott maybe didn’t want to do the p2p thing but josef was willing to? and maybe that caused some sort of divide between them bc then again for josef it’s about Winning No Matter What, and yes scott wants to win but cheating isn’t the way for him. idk.

for more of their lore when they WERE friends, watch bus bros (duh), admit one, 100 days to indy, scott learns america: nashville, hot seats with hinch, and listen to scott’s episode on off track with hinch and rossi! also there are some very brief interactions between them on some older penske games videos before bus bros was even a thing but it’s not much. there are more but i can’t think of them rn…

sorry for rambling, if you have any more qs feel free to ask!!! i’m always available for brain picking :)