#its giving single dad energy

[felixify]

Chan, tiredly : my second youngest , Seungmin is being tested for the gifted program at school , and my middle child , Jisung , thinks his toothbrush is haunted

[shatterdome-underscore]

which dndads season 2 PC has bit the most people and why is it taylor

[yawn-emoji]

[nvuy]

nuvy. nuvy have you heard of the boothill leaks.

YES i did *salutes*

boothill story leaks under cut;

girl dad girl dad

soooo what about boothill falling in love with a single parent with a daughter hmm hmm

like god if he doesn’t just accidently run into the kid and she squeals over him because “hey!! cool robot man!!” and you chase her down and apologise.

he freezes, because your daughter looks so much like his did.

same hair colour, same eye colour, same energy that he could barely keep up with, just learning to walk on two feet properly and string together words to form simple sentences.

it absolutely destroys him. in the worst and best way possible. especially since your daughter practically develops an admiration for him on the spot, begs to be carried, and you’re confused because “sweetie, you shouldn’t be talking to strangers.”

like like.,,,, example……..

Something small and warm wraps around his hand and Boothill glances up quickly from his lap.

There was a little girl searching for his fingers, barely three years old by the looks of it. Pretty tresses of black hair flowing in the wind near the shoreline, sniffling and barely standing on short wobbly legs.

“I need help,” she hiccups, and Boothill melts on the spot. So small and helpless, like a baby bird away from its mother’s nest. “I can’t find my–”

And of course, he stands up, dusts off his pants, and offers her his hand. He guides her away from the beach back towards the market where crowds of people swarm the stalls.

It’s nighttime, cold, and definitely no place for a little girl to be by herself.

“What’s your parents look like, princess?”

He busies himself searching for any targets that would make sense given the girl’s prattling of your appearance down to the colour of your shoes—“White. Like mine.” Hers light up purple with each step she takes—too many faces, too many people.

He stands to give up when he hears somebody frantically running around like a lunatic to every single store, asking if they’ve seen a little girl with light up sneakers wandering about.

“Calm down. I’m sure she’s around here somewhere,” he heard one of the assistants try.

Another shopkeeper offers a pitiful frown and shakes their head.

Boothill nudges the girl, squeezing her small hand in his, careful of his strength around fragile bones. “Is that them?”

She quickly wipes the tears from her face. She then nods and takes off into a sprint to lunge at you, still sobbing when she wraps her arms around your leg.

You sigh in relief and scoop her up into your arms.

Boothill then has an entire conundrum in the middle of the market square. For one, your daughter is waving him over with a smile on her face. Two, you looked like you were about two seconds away from passing out in shock. Your clothes are askew, hair a mess, face flushed and yet simultaneously drained of blood.

He steps closer anyway, though hesitantly. He can’t say no to the little thing whose grin has now grown double the size of her face.

“This is the man that helped me,” she explained softly to you, pointing at him with a small finger.

You scanned him over.

For a moment, he thought you were going to turn around and book it in the other direction. A random ‘robot man’ in the centre of the town square was probably the least most inviting thing he could’ve been. Not to mention he had been sitting at the docks for so long staring out into the water he knew his hair had been tossed wildly from the wind.

Not that you appeared anymore put together.

Instead, you grab his face with a free hand and kiss him on the cheek.

“Thank you,” you whispered hoarsely.

He almost damn near blue screens. The words ‘anything for you’ fight to come forth out of his throat.

Instead, he lets out a garbled noise before he clears his throat. “Of course. Couldn’t let the little princess run too far.” He teased your daughter with a tap to her nose.

She grabs his finger and presses the pads of her own across the metal rivets and joints like she’s studying them curiously.

Your daughter stared up at you with giant puppy eyes, still holding his hand. “Can we keep him?”

It was your turn to make a weird noise, spluttering with your face heating up. “You can’t keep people.”

All the while, Boothill was staring at you as you chastised her with hot cheeks.

No spouse by the looks of it—nor had the little princess mentioned somebody else. He knew kids liked to ramble on about their parents.

Well, his daughter did. Something cold and metallic turned in his stomach. She used to think her dad was a hero.

He wondered if she still would.

No ring on your finger. Adoration was such a gentle expression on your face, and the way you held her so firmly, yet so delicately, said it all.

Oh, if he wasn’t completely head over heels from the very beginning.

the angst potential. The angst potential. Theeee angst potential. i’m gritting my teeth.

i’m going insan e

[01zfan]

suburbia | j. sc

husband!sungchan x wife!reader | 6.8k words

something i whipped up while taking a breather from my new seriez…happy fathers day sungchan. also funny little cameo in here IFYKYK.

contains: mental effects of “trying for a baby” and it failing a whole lot, sex without a condom, crying during sex

sungchan put his hand on the back of the passenger side headrest and used his hold on it to look backwards. he turned the wheel with his other hand, perfectly backing up into his spot in the driveway. 

he put his car in park and brought his hand back to its original position on the wheel. he took a quick look around his neighborhood through the windshield. he looked at every single house on the street, lined up perfectly with the same build and sighed contently. the color varied with some of the houses, some were a pale green while others were white and gray. he looked at everyones lawn, all the grass was cut to the same length and looked more of less the same. he even looked at the tall brown wooden fences separating some of the lawns with appreciation. he would’ve enjoyed the fences to be white pickets but that was neither here nor there. 

the only thing that pulled sungchan from his content state was seeing the family on the sidewalk in front of his house. he wasn’t upset by any means—seeing happy families made him smile and he never missed an opportunity to crouch down to a child and ask them their name when they came up to him. 

his head was on a swivel as he watched the family head towards the setting sun. sungchan watched the youngest peddle on the big wheel as fast as he could as the older one ran behind. he could hear the two kids screaming all the way in his car, one of them yelling about how it was their turn and the other yelling not yet. he watched the husband and wife that walked calmly behind, both of them with shades on as they engaged in conversation sungchan couldn’t hear.

when sungchan saw the baby carrier attached to the woman’s front he couldn’t stop the pang of jealousy. he knew he had no right to complain, he was extremely grateful for his life. he had a job that paid him well and treated him even better, he was a homeowner of a beautiful home in a lovely neighborhood filled with young families. he had a beautiful life he shared with his wife and was the most stable he’s been his whole life in every aspect of the word. he had no right to complain. but seeing the big family reminded him of the last thing he felt like he felt like he was missing.

sometimes he felt like there were people out to get him. like priapus himself was stopping sungchan from getting his family or that he was cursed by aphrodite. his dad never missed the opportunity to tell him candidly how hard he tried for a baby each time his mother brought up how badly she wanted a grandbaby. the conversation made both you and sungchan squirm in your seats, and sungchan had to cut them off before they could get into the specifics.

regardless, ever since sungchan heard how hard it was for them to have a baby, there was some sort of cloud hanging over the two of you. even if the both of you were still so young, the idea of having a child at this time in your lives was enticing. being young and full of energy would let you be involved in your childs’ life, and the stress of giving your parents a grandchild hung heavy. both of you tried adopting an if-it-happens-it-happens attitude about having children, but it was hard to feign indifference when you had your ovulation days marked on the calendar, or when you chose certain positions based on reddit forums and psuedoscience. you two also developed the habit of buying baby clothes solely because they were ”cute”. sungchan had a wishlist of baby equipment after doing extensive research on each brand and what they offered. but yes, if anyone asked about kids they would only get a simple shrug from the two of you and stammers talking about how you guys haven’t given it much thought.

sungchan still followed the family walking on the sidewalk, even when the setting sun blinded him. he didn’t turn until he heard knocking on his window.

he turned quickly to see your smiling face. you had just gotten home from work, your still running car parked on the curb. sungchan smiled instantly, opening his door enough to hear you speak.

“do you want to back the car into the driveway for me?” you asked.

sungchan nodded instantly, grabbing his backpack from the passenger seat and pulling his keys from the ignition. he repeated the same thing he did to his car with yours, parking the two vehicles side by side in the driveway. sungchan helped you take the groceries inside after taking a peak in the bag filled to the brim with baby clothes and toys. 

“clearance rack.” you said simply.

sungchan nodded and even picked up a skirt from the bag to comment on how frilly and pretty it was. you puffed out your chest and nodded your head, going on a tangent about how cute a baby would look in it. sungchan took special notice to how you said a baby instead of our baby as he went through the front door behind you. he also took special attention to the way you paused—only for a moment—before opening up the fridge door. he handed you the perishables and you continued talking about your day. sungchan looked at your ovulation period marked on the calendar, almost scowling the last day. all it was missing was one more x and the window would be closed for another month. 

he couldn’t stop thinking about the calendar and the finality of it all. he was being dramatic, he knew that. just like every month the one or two days would circle back around and you two of you would try again without saying you were trying. the two of you would pretend like it was perfectly normal to keep your legs elevated after sex and to keep three different pregnancy tests on tap at all times. sungchan knew nothing was definite, that you two were both equally stubborn and wouldn’t stop until one of your pregnancy tests was positive. but sungchan just couldn’t shake the feeling that it was over, that the gods or another unseen force had won. he felt like a puppy that was kicked for the nth month in a row as he quietly prepped the meat for the barbecue.

he was grateful for the silence the two of you fell into as you started prepping for the night as well. he caught you occasionally looking distracted, stealing peaks at the bag full of children’s clothes that rested on the table. 

he recalled the moment you guys had a heart to heart, how behind you felt compared to your peers and their families. he imagined the two of you were thinking about baby fever and how it felt terminal and flared up everytime you had one of these friend gatherings. the kids ran through whoever’s home was selected that month. everyone would scold their children for behaving recklessly and following sungchan and you around like little shadows. sungchan welcomed the kids and gave them piggy back rides and played along with their games while you helped burp babies. sungchan often found himself with a child glued to his arms while he sat next to the grill with his friend eunseok. he would help feed kids that insisted on sitting between the two of you, assuring his friends that it was fine. he had built a reputation as “uncle sungchan,” but it didn’t hurt any less anytime he was reminded he didn’t have a brood of his own.

“you’d make a great dad. it sucks you have terrible swimmers.” eunseok said before taking another sip of his beer. 

sungchan pointed the tongs he was using to rotate hotdogs at his friend. sungchan gave eunseok a wide-eyed look, like he was warning him not to talk to loud. eunseok looked across the yard to you enveloped bouncing shotaro’s baby on your lap. after seeing you were preoccupied, eunseok went back to the conversation he was having with sungchan.

“she’s not paying attention.” eunseok made sure to drag his words out, but he still took a step closer to sungchan to inspect the grill. “the burgers are burning by the way.” he said.

that was all it took for sungchan to angrily hand eunseok the tongs. eunseok handed sungchan the beer and got to work, flipping the meat to avoid it getting burned.

“that’s why you’re not a dad, you can’t grill meat right.” eunseok joked.

when he saw the serious expression on sungchan’s face he held up his hands in defense, already apologizing for touching on the sore subject.

“i’m sorry.” eunseok said after sungchan started kicking his feet to move dirt around. “look. do you want my advice?” eunseok asked. 

sungchan considered what advice he could get from his friend. he decided to go out on a limb, nodding his head as eunseok handed him the tongs back.

“stop trying! be prepared of course, but stopped trying so hard.” when sungchan scoffed he hit his shoulder lightly. “i’m serious. we weren’t trying for a baby then suddenly nine months later our little girl came.” eunseok said.

sungchan still can’t believe it. how can something like that happen for him without being meticulously calculated and planned? eunseok knew lightly of the routine you two had—he remembers very vividly the color draining from his friends face when he told him how often you two do it. how has your dick not fallen off yet? eunseok asked with genuine worry on his face. sungchan looked back to see you playing with eunseok’s daughter. the two of you ran around pretending you were looking for korok seeds. sungchan felt his body detach from itself longing for something like that. he forced himself to focus back to the meet on the grill that was definitely beginning to char. he tried to focus on not wanting so bad as he looked to eunseok.

“enough about me. whats the deal with you and—“

“i don’t know man, seriously.” eunseok interrupts sungchan so quickly he has to hold back a laugh. “last month she came by the house super late after one of her dates and we’ve been trying to make it work.”

sungchan raises his eyebrows at eunseok’s situation. 

“super late? after a date?” sungchan presses.

“do you want me to get into the specifics?” eunseok asks, taking another sip. “cause i will. i for sure will.” he continues.

sungchan instantly shakes his head, letting the tongs clamp loudly before eunseok can get another word out.

“i hear that enough from my father.” eunseok throws his head back to laugh, recalling all the times he has heard about the infamous advice. “i’ll seriously kill myself if i have to hear about it again.” sungchan grimaces.

after the meat is done grilling, the rest of the night continues smoothly. the children stick to you and sungchan like magnets, begging you two to make their hotdogs and feed them french fries. the kids leave reluctantly with their families at the end of the night, shotaro’s toddler even gets a little misty-eyed when she realizes it’s time to go. the two of you chat about the night as you clean up, the topic always finding its way back to the cute children and how badly they wanted to ride on sungchan’s shoulders. the two of you laugh wistfully, ignoring the pain in your chests and the baby clothes that still sit on the counter.

after watching an episode of your television show the two of you start settling down for bed. sungchan lets you go first, you’re in and out of your shower quickly to free the bathroom up.

by the time sungchan is finished with his shower you are settled into bed with in his boxers and his oversized shirt. he comes into your room without a care in the world with his towel barely hanging on his waist. seeing sungchan so close to being naked never got easier with time. without fail you still feel the juvenile giddiness at the thought of him having nothing on beneath that towel. sungchan didn’t leave much to your imagination, the towel was so low and loose on his waist you thought it would fall any second. to your disapproval, it stayed secure on his waist as he looked through the drawers of your dresser. you focused on sungchan’s back and the way his muscles moved and tightening underneath his taut skin as he shuffled through the drawers. 

you put your book down on the bedside table like it was the distraction when sungchan crouched down. you were tracing the path of the water droplets trailing down his back when he put his shirt on. he was teasing you unintentionally, he left with his white towel still around his waist when he went back into the bathroom. you heard the faucet run and sungchan came back into the room shortly after that. he had his boxers on now, with his smaller towel wrapped around his shoulders. he looked at you laying in the bed and you smiled, trying to ignore the sudden feeling you got to pounce him. 

“can i turn off the light?” sungchan asked, finger on the switch.

you nodded, almost feeling guilty at you objectifying your poor husband. he nodded back, turning off the light the same time you turned on your bedside lamp. the lamp was only bright enough to illuminate the outline of sungchan’s body as he trudged to bed. he got on with a huff, laying on top of all the covers. he relaxed for a moment and stretched his body. when he was done settling in he ran the towel through his hair one last time before tossing it on the office chair. you felt sungchan turn his attention up to you.

you sunk down from leaning against the headboard, using the heels of your feet and your hands to settle on top of the covers. almost instantly sungchan pulled at you, bringing your body closer to him. you hummed contently and cleared the small space, settling beside him. almost as soon as you felt the spark it fizzled away after hearing the notification from the flo app. you have ten hours left or you’ll never be parents! your phone seemed to taunt. both you and sungchan let out pensive sighs and looked away from eachother. 

“do you want to be on top?” you said.

you hated that you made sex sound like it was a chore, like it was a job you both had to do. you remember when sex was intimate and perfect with sungchan, void of any reason other than making the other feel good. now when you guys fucked it felt like business. no other aspect of your relationship struggled over wanting kids, but it seemed like all the yearning only manifested in the bedroom. you didn’t understand how wanting something as resplendent as a family felt so gloomy.

sungchan felt his heart drop at your words hanging in the air. he remembered eunseok’s words of advice, and they stuck with him in this moment more than ever. so sungchan got up from his spot on the bed and looked down at you. you kept eye contact, pushing sungchan’s boxers down your legs to get ready. his hands went to yours, keeping them in place.

“i’m not expecting anything.” sungchan said simply.

when your let go of the waistband he shook his head, shuffling closer to your body. he cradled your face and bent down to kiss your forehead. you still looked clueless, eyes big as saucers as you waited for sungchan to explain himself. he guided your upper body from the mattress until you were sitting in front of him. he messed with the bottom of his shirt, bringing it up slowly. sungchan felt blessed that you followed his lead and lifted up your arms so he could help you out the rest of the way. he set his balled up shirt on the sheets next to your body. he looked from your eyes to your bare chest, slowly traveling his hands from your until you arched forward towards him. with the invitation he closed his hands over your supple skin, lightly pinching your areola. you drew in a delicate breath, he hasn’t teased you in so long. sungchan watched you feeling his hunger grow exponentially after finding a new purpose for the night.

“do you want me?” sungchan said, digging his hands a little deeper into your chest.

you nodded quickly, your hands traveling to his wrist to keep his hands in place. you let your body sway back and forth from sungchan’s greedy hands, becoming malleable.

“i want you.” you said, hands leaving his wrists to push the waistband of your boxers.

sungchan detached his hands from your chest and went to your shoulders to gentle guide you down. you sighed again, feeing the cold sheets against your quickly warming skin.

sungchan kissed each of your shoulders, then the valley of your chest and a straight line down. only thin did he work at your bottoms, taking all the work away from you. he lifted each leg like you were made of glass and he pressed his wet lips to each part of your leg that was newly exposed.

you guys had been fucking with the sole purpose of procreation for so long you both had forgotten what it was like to have the tension in the room become so thick you could cut through it with a knife. you had forgotten what it was like to feel sungchan stare intensely at you as he made his way down your body. you forgot what it felt like to have his timid lips press to your inner thigh gently before sucking on your skin. 

sungchan was no better, he had foolishly forgotten what it felt like to draw a tiny gasp from your parted lips and to earn a sudden twitch from your body. he had forgotten what it felt like to grab the underside of your thighs to guide your legs over his shoulders while you preened closer to him. 

what sungchan could never forget was your taste. you still laid thick on his tongue like nectar and shined on his lips like gloss. your thighs were still as soft as he remembered, closing around his head as soon as he started to tend to you.

“sungchan.” you whined.

he looked up from your pussy to your eyes, locking onto your shoulders that sagged and your head that leaned to the side each time he sucked a little harder. he didn’t have it in him to pull away from your heat, but he showed you that he was listening by pushing a finger inside of you.

your elbows slid out from underneath you, and sungchan watched your chest raise towards the ceiling as you arched your back. he already felt you clenching around his singular finger and his tongue. only then did he pull away to watch your contracting hole so he would never forget this view again. your body was begging for more and your voice was too after feeling the loss of contact. sungchan looked up to see your beautiful face already becoming wrecked. your hair was mussed but looked like a halo on your head. the longer you two kept eye contact the more he felt the seizing around his finger. you were so blissfully unaware, the only indicator that you were still with him was the wide-eyed look you gave him from the head of the bed. sungchan used his free hand to grip your thighs a little tighter and slowly pumped another finger into your heat.

“oh my god.” you said to the ceiling. 

your leg that wasn’t being held by sungchan started going rogue. each time he placed a delicate kiss to your heat you’d try to draw it in close to your other leg to stop the stimulation. when he plunged a third finger into your heat he felt a dull prod from your heel digging into his back. even though sungchan knew you only needed a gentle command of be still from him to cease your movement he gave you grace—he knew you had probably forgotten what it all felt like too. so he only flexed his back for you and pulled you closer by his hold on your thigh to give your heel a reason to dig deeper.

sungchan only had to bring his tongue to start flicking your clit before he felt your full body start twitching. he heard you fist the sheets and slightly shake your head against the pillows. he took a quick peak up as he pressed his tongue flat against your heat. he saw your chest quiver from a shaky breath as you brought a had to rest over your heart. any efforts you made to steady your breathing sungchan accidentally thwarted. just when your hand would loosen on the sheets you’d clench around him again stimulating your entire body all over again. sungchan watched you self-titillate, until your chest was rising and lowering rapidly and your quiet sighs turned into pathetic whimpers.

“it’s been too long.” your voice cracked when you spoke, like you were getting high off your own voice. “i’m close.” you said.

even though you weren’t looking at sungchan he still nodded. from his spot he could see your blinking eyes and your lip caught between your teeth. he selfishly needed more, he needed to see all of you like it was the first time again. he detached himself from your clit and gave it a gentle lick to hear a pained moan rip from your throat. he started speeding up his fingers, pleased that you were spreading your legs apart further instead of closing them in to feel all of it.

“look at me.” his voice cracked the same as yours, and it cracked again when he saw you quickly shake your head as your hips lifted from the bed. “baby please. i need to see you.” he said it desperately around the lump in his throat as he sped up his fingers.

priapus and aphrodite be damned—when you weakly propped your body up on your elbows to look sungchcan in the eyes he felt like zeus himself. nothing could’ve stopped him when he saw your glassy eyes and your swollen bitten lips. you had turned into something otherworldly in the small amount of time you spent wallowing in pleasure. your lips that were parted in a silent whine spurred sungchan on, and he ignored the tension in his jaw to duck back down to your heat again. he felt a new wave of power come over him seeing you struggle to keep eye contact. your head lulled to the side and your eyes became half closed. sungchan pulled his hand from your thigh to reach it towards you. he settled on your stomach and you leaned to one side to give him your hand. the electricity shot up his spine feeling your clammy hand clutch his so tightly. he kept burning eye contact, pressing your joined hands deep into your stomach. 

your breathing became ragged, and your eyebrows became furrowed. sungchan felt your hips preen forward into his mouth and fingers. he heard a loud moan that bounced off the walls in your bedroom and ring in his skull like a bell. your hand gripped his so hard he thought his fingers was going to break. he felt an overwhelming force from you that overpowered his entire being and then you came down. your hips stilled, your grip loosened, and the only sound that came from you was a high-pitched prolonged whimper. your voice got so high that it fell out completely and sungchan felt your ambrosia coat his tongue and fingers. he was driven by the lewd sound of it all, now it was sungchan squeezing your hand with a force to keep you there with him. your thighs shook on his shoulders but he kept going, and your cries became a siren. sungchan didn’t stop until your hand that was being held by his pressed into his forehead.

he let himself be pushed away by your weak hand, and when he pulled his fingers from you he heard a sigh of relief. he heard your upper body fall to the bed again with a dull thud. sungchan’s breathing matched yours, quick and shallow as you both tried to calm your erratic heart rate. he saw your hand weakly rest on your stomach and clasped his hand over it, shaking you slightly. sungchan guided your shaking legs down from his shoulders to rest on the bed. you still winced from the exertion, every single part of you seemed to be sensitive. when sungchan raised himself from in between your legs he watched your body shudder. he hovered above you, looking down at your sleepy eyes and parted lips. he brought his hand to run across your forehead, wicking away some of the sweat.

“how are you feeling?” he asked gently.

sungchan continued to watch his words slowly register in your mind as you slowly nodded and swallowed your spit. he felt your hand lift from your stomach to press the pads of your fingers weakly into his stomach. 

“i’m okay.” you said.

you spoke with a sniffle at the end of your words and you had fresh tear tracks smeared across your eyelids. your cheeks were hot to the touch like they were set aflame. sungchan saw the evidence of biting across your swollen lower lip. at the thought of this being you okay sungchan felt tempted to remind himself what you looked like when you were the opposite. but there would be other chances to have you inconsolable underneath him—he already had his plans set for the night. 

he brought himself down to his elbows, hovering his body even closer to yours. sungchan watched your face scrunch up a little in pain as you drew your legs up the bed. he kissed your forehead until the creases were smooth and you lifted your head  to meet his lips. once sungchan got started with the kisses he couldn’t stop, he kept kissing every plane of your face, and he wasn’t satisfied until he could see the glow from his glossy kisses catch the light in the room. sungchan smiled down at you after the final kiss, squeezing your ear gently as you smiled back up at him. your eyelids no longer hung low, they were blown out and wide once you ran your fingertips down his stomach again. sungchan felt something catch in his throat when he saw you close and open your eyes to show him you were alert. all you had to do was cast on look at the bulge in his boxers before sungchan was pushing them down his legs. you helped, lifting your body slightly until they were out of your hands reach. 

“i missed you so much.” you murmured.

you impatiently used your foot to push sungchan’s waistband down until they reached his ankles. for a moment sungchan lowered his body completely to rest against yours as he quickly took off the garment. 

“i missed you too.” he whispered back. 

he balled it up before throwing it over the side of the bed, ignoring the large wet patch he felt against his palm. he was thinking about how he was so focused on the future he was forgetting to live in the present. sungchan felt the lump in his throat he tried so hard to ignore grow larger. it took away his ability to speak, so he settled for placing a burning kiss on your lips. he hoped the things he couldn’t say were acknowledged by your hand that threaded through his hair and rested on his shoulder. sungchan let you pull him closer, until his dick rested against the sheets and his chest pressed against yours. his hips jerked when he felt your legs wrap around his waist. sungchan was weak, he stood no chance against your hand that pressed into his back to bring him closer. his hips jerked again when he heard you whine underneath his full body weight. 

you pulled away and sungchan instinctually pouted before you pushed him into the crook of your neck. he found solace there, the feeling of his breath bouncing off your warm skin helped him try to control the stinging he felt on his waterline. your hand drew gentle shapes on his back, and sungchan felt your heart thud against his chest.

“sungchan.” you said timidly.

he tried to pull his head from the crook of your neck but a hand on the back of his head kept him there. he instead kissed the side of your face and squeezed your ear again to try and comfort you. he heard you lips part and the start of your sentence three times before you finally spoke.

“i need you so bad.” you spoke with a shudder, like the weight your words caused a spike in your temperature.

sungchan nodded against your head, letting out a sigh as he wrapped his hand around the root of his dick. he felt your hand pull away from his back to wedge between your two bodies.

“you got me.” sungchan croaked, shivering when he felt your hand settle over his.

you both started letting out gasps in anticipation. sungchan took his hand away from his dick to hold onto your side, trying to be as gentle as possible. the feeling of you guiding his dick made him dick his fingers into your side. he dared to lift his body high enough from yours to take a quick peak. the sight made him dizzy, seeing you lift your legs to give him more room. sungchan shifted his knees forward and quickly pulled you down for the best position. you whimpered at the manhandling and you handled him back by running your dick up and down your folds. his precum and your cum made a slick lewd sound as you continued your ministrations. sungchan leaned his hips forward and pressed his sweaty face into the pillow to muffle his whimpers.

“please.” you begged, still teasing you both.

sungchan wanted to tell you all he needed to know was what you wanted and he’d find a way to get it to you. but hearing your voice crack sungchan realized he wasn’t faring too well himself. he could only repeat what you said, a murmur of a please barely breaking past the fluffy pillows.

only then did you finally guide sungchan’s dick lower to prod at your entrance. he felt like he was about to explode when he finally took initiative by slowly pushing his hips forward. you both let out choked gasps, bodies quaking against eachother and sungchan settled further in. he felt your hand still at the base of his dick, like you wanted to hold him until the very last second. you finally let go after your index finger and thumb that was still wrapped around his dick pressed into your clip. your hand went back to its place on sungchan’s shoulder, squeezing hard each time your walls pulsed around his dick. 

sungchan finally composed himself enough to pull away from the crook of your neck. he still felt the lump, but his need to see as much as he could overpowered every other thought in his mind. sungchan hovered above your body after kissing your cheek, enjoying the view he got from up here. he saw your spread legs, your eyes screwed shut from the stimulation. he drew his hips back slowly until his was all the way out. when he saw his dick coated in you he pushed all the way back in, going back down to his elbows sos he could press his cheek against yours. he whined feeling your clammy skin stick together, taking it as a sign you two should never part. 

“i love you.” he said quietly, scared that if he got any louder it would come out broken again.

sungchan’s hips pressed against yours and he felt you clench around him again and you wrapped your hand over his back to pull him as if he could get any closer.

“i love you too.” you said, your sentence ending with a gasp when sungchan thrusted in a little harder.

just like that, sungchan couldn’t hold back anymore. he pulled away from the side of your face to look down at you. the only difference from before was that his view was obstructed through a bracket of tears that welled in his eyes. his sniffles where covered up by your moans that were increasing in volume the harder and more languid his thrusts got. seeing you so enveloped in pleasure made the coil in sungchan’s stomach tighten the same way his heart seized. it took his breath away, going through every emotion as he looked down at your face. you were oblivious to it all, slack jawed as you looked down to where your two bodies met. maybe you were ignoring his tears for his sake the same way you ignored his shortcomings in regards to giving you a baby. 

one of his hands went to your leg, pressing it gently to your body to hit a deeper spot. you pressed your head into the mattress with your eyes screwed shut. you drew in a deep breath and bit your lip so hard sungchan was worried you might draw blood.

“i’m close again.” you said again.

sungchan felt you clamp around him as you arched your back off the bed to touch your chest to his. sungchan could only hang his head low as he continued thrusting into you at the same pace, quickly becoming overwhelmed. 

he saw the tears land on your collarbone first. some of them glided down your skin leaving a tiny trail while some caught in the dips of your body. after a tear fell on your jawline sungchan heard your noises falter, caught between euphoria and the feeling that something was amiss.

“sungchan?” he didn’t know if he wanted to cry harder or groan at the sound of your bedroom voice being laced with worry. “what’s wrong?” you asked.

when your hand tilted his chin up to force eye contact he saw your expression soften. the pace he set was falling apart as you scanned his features trying to silently find out what was wrong. 

“i’m sorry.” sungchan said tearfully, turning his head to try and hide in your hand. 

you gently turned him to face you, giving him nowhere to hide.

“what are you sorry for?” you said, voice still whiny.

“you want a baby so bad.” sungchan felt his dick pulse in your heat as he pressed deeper. “and i can’t give that to you.” he admitted.

your legs around his waist kept sungchan buried deep inside of you. without focusing on his hips sungchan felt his head try to hang low again. instead you brought his head down to you, pressing your forehead against his. you drew in a deep breath and closed your eyes, trying to not ruin the heart to heart by telling sungchan how good he felt inside of you.

“it’ll happen when it happens.” you said after a beat of silence. 

sungchan shook his head against yours, his hand digging desperately into your side.

“i need to give you what you want.” he says desperately.

you shake your head despite your walls clenching around him again. 

“i have everything i want already.” you start moving your hips again, earning a hiss from sungchan. “everything else is just a bonus.” you say.

sungchan feels another wave of fat tears break past his water line at your sincere smile. with your hands pressed to his cheeks your thumbs wipe the tears away. sungchan settles into your hands, ears drifted close as he lets out another sniffle. when he jolts he remembers the compromising positions your both in. at the same time you both realize the novelty of it all.

“i’m sorry.” sungchan says again, this time a lift to his voice.

you shake your head and swivel your hips, basking in how full you feel. you bring sungchan’s head down so his ear is right above your lips so he can hear your voice that’s barely above a whisper.

“don’t be sorry. just keep fucking me.” you lick the shell of sungchan’s ear and he lets out a breathy moan that fans your ear. “the rest will come later.” you assure. 

sungchan nods and pulls his hips back. he goes back to hovering above you, and this time you don’t pull your gaze away from his glassy red eyes and his wet eyelashes.

“you’re gonna be such a good mother.” sungchan kisses your lips and you reciprocate. “so sweet and pretty and kind.” he babbles, kissing your lips again.

sungchan frees his hand that was pressing your thigh to your chest so he can grip your hand. your leg is still in place, now just hooked over his arm. you nod through his hard thrust, trying to collect your words by squeezing his hand tightly.

“you’re gonna be a perfect dad.” you pull sungchan’s hand closer to your body so his tricep presses into your thigh harder. sungchan’s dick hits a spot deep inside that takes your breath away. “so perfect.” you gasp.

sungchan feels his air start to prickle and his skin starts to become hot. his hand grips yours so tight it causes your fingers to go straight. he begins grunting and whimpering between each hard thrust, and you start falling apart the same way. sungchan bites his lip, hoping the pain will make him regain his bearings.

“i’m close.” sungchan says, letting his head lull backwards.

“me too.” you mewl.

you start lifting your hips on your own accord and sungchan’s hold on your waist and hand becomes bruising. your lips part from the discomfort, and your throat goes dry when you realize it’s adding to the jumbled coils in your stomach.

sungchan fully rests his bodyweight on yours knowing you like the pressure. he presses his hand that holds yours into the mattress for stability as he brings his hand that was gripping your waist to rub at your clit. he’s quick with the protruding bundle of nerves, and you respond instantly. your squirming underneath him, no longer moving your hips to not interrupt sungchan’s rhythm. you start babbling incoherently against his lips in between your rushed kisses. sungchan nods through your please’s and give me a baby’s because he’s nothing if not a man that gives you anything you ask for. so he pulls in a breath the same time you do, and focuses on getting you across the finish line first. when your body seizes up again sungchan hones in his fingers rubbing quick revolutions and trades in his quick thrusts to hit deep inside of you instead. 

he follows closely behind you, and in the white euphoria of his orgasm he’s swear he can see it all. he sees the your happy family walking down the sidewalk to the sunset. you have a baby strapped to your chest and he has a toddler on his shoulders giggling uncontrollably.

sungchan drops his head to the crook of your neck and sucks harshly on your skin. you dig your fingernails into the back of his hand and his back, crying out as warmth forcibly overtakes you. you’re shaking by the time sungchan stops his hand on your clit, staying inside of you while his dick still twitches. you press your hand to sungchan’s body that rests above your stomach and he gets the hint to press his hand that was on your clit to your lower tummy. you squirm underneath his touch and he presses deeper, letting out a shaky breath as you clench around him again.

you slump finally and sungchan does too, pulling out completely to roll beside your body.

you’re both weak, covered in sweat and a newfound love you thought was previously lost. when sungchan turns on his side to face you, you do the same, thinking about the ache that’s already settling in your muscles.

his large hand rests over your cheek, moving back and forth to feel your supple skin against his palm. you turn your head to kiss his hand and sungchan’s heart lurches in his chest. when you try to move from the bed sungchan silently pulls you closer to him, drawing you close until your head rests underneath his chin. he wraps his arms around you completely and kisses the side of your face again and again, until his lips slow to a halt and your eyes drift closed.

thank you for reading :3 here is my ko-fi if you wanted to fund your local depraved riize fanfic writer👩‍💻🕺

[corroded-hellfire]

As You Wish - Eddie Munson x Reader, Part 9

Collaboration with the one and only Dr. @munson-blurbs 💛

Summary: Eddie's finally moving into a place of his own. It's fun and exciting but at the same time, it makes things more real for the boys.

Note: It is here! A happy As You Wish Wednesday to you all

Warnings: talk of divorce, Brittany

Words: 7.4k

[As You Wish masterlist]

Eddie usually hated his government name. He’s Eddie, not Edward; the latter too formal and a reminder of when he’d get reprimanded at school. 

But today, as the ballpoint pen glides over the paper, he’s never been happier to be Edward Munson. 

“All right,” the leasing manager chirps, procuring a key from her back pocket, “congratulations on your new apartment, Mr. Munson.”

“Thank you.” It’s bittersweet; his first place without Brittany, without his boys as permanent fixtures. But he no longer needs to couch surf or rely on anyone else. This is his place, and though it’s not quite the house he once lived in, it’s home. 

The Harrington household is in its usual state of controlled chaos when Eddie arrives. His sons are running around with Steve and Nancy’s three oldest kids on their front lawn, so engaged in a rousing game of freeze tag that they don’t even notice the car pulling up. 

You spot him right away, greeting him with an excited wave. One arm stays wrapped around Mia, who offers a big smile when she sees her favorite uncle. 

“Ryan! Luke! Dad’s here!”

The boys grumble, clearly upset about their game being cut short, and the Harringtons cheer triumphantly. 

“We won! We won!” Theo cheers. 

Luke shakes his head. “No, we’re just pausing until next time.”

“Nuh-uh! You guys forfeit, which means we win!”

You sigh. “We’ll call it a tie,” you decide, not waiting for a reply. Nancy comes out of the house to pay you, scooping up her youngest. 

“Did we avoid a fight?” She whispers to you. 

“Barely,” you confirm, tucking the bills into your front pocket. “I’m hoping to make our escape before it escalates.”

Nancy nods. “Godspeed.” She ushers Natalie, Theo, and Danny back into the house, bidding Eddie and his boys farewell, but not before Luke sticks his tongue in his friend’s direction. 

“Saw that,” Ryan mutters. So did you, but you lack the energy to reprimand the youngest Munson, so you act oblivious. 

This evening was the final celebration of your birthday week—the cherry on top that it seemed the boys wouldn’t let you go without: them treating you to a McDonald’s date. Ryan and Luke had both chipped in some pocket change they had in a piggy bank or hidden underneath a mattress. Though, you wouldn’t be surprised if Luke scrounged some of his from between couch cushions and between seats in his dad’s truck as well. 

With their donations appreciated, Eddie pocketed the money and told everyone to order whatever they wanted. That’s dangerous territory with the two rugrats around, but it’s a special occasion. 

The order in total managed to fit on four trays, which the guys said they had handled and would head off to find a table while you wait for the milkshakes at the counter.

As you rest your hip against the cool metal island that contains condiments and utensils, you hear familiar giggles coming from the tables around the corner. They bring an instant smile to your face. There’s a lot of turmoil going on in these kids’ lives right now, so the fact that they get to have these moments of peace and joy with their dad is very important. It’s part of the reason you told Eddie that it might be better to take Ryan and Luke shopping for their new rooms on his own. None of the three Munson men were having this, though. Every single one of them trusted your opinion far more than anyone with an XY chromosome in your little gang. 

“Milkshakes?”

The worker’s voice pulls you out of your head and you give her a polite smile as you pick the cardboard carrier up off the counter, holding two vanilla shakes for you and Ryan, a chocolate for Eddie, and a strawberry for Luke. You set off in the direction the previous laughter came from and just as you turn the corner are greeted by the sight of the back of your boyfriend’s head in all its curly glory. Thing One and Thing Two are on the other side of the table throwing fries at one another, trying to catch them in their mouths. 

“Come on, try me,” Eddie says, tilting his head back a bit. Ryan throws a fry first, but it bounces off his father’s cheek. Luke then throws a fry that is way too long and was never going to make it across the table. You watch in silence as the boys make a few more valiant attempts, Ryan able to sink one in eventually. The shakes are getting melty now though, so it’s time to barge in on their game.

When you walk over to the table and set the drink caddy down, you notice Eddie’s expression goes from playful to remorseful. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take your brain long to make the connection that this is something Brittany probably would’ve berated him for in the past—acting like a child and goofing around with the boys. It’s preposterous to even think of, really.

Instead of assuring Eddie with comforting words, you just slide onto the red vinyl booth next to him and nudge his arm with your elbow. 

“My turn.”

Juxtaposed with the fun dinner you just had is the quiet car ride back to Brittany’s house to drop the boys off. Seeing the two happy little moods dampened weighs on Eddie’s heart, so he tries to get them engaged in another fun topic.

“Are you guys excited to pick out stuff for your new rooms tomorrow?” he asks, grinning at them through the rear-view mirror.

“Do I get, like…a new bed?” Luke asks.

“Sure do,” Eddie says as he flips the blinker on to turn into his old neighborhood. “And whatever kind of sheets you want to put on it.”

“Can I get ones with Spider-Man? Or Batman? Or Spider-Man and Batman?”

Eddie chuckles. “We’ll see what they have.”

That seems to satisfy Luke, at least for the moment, which is all you need. Eddie takes a deep breath as he pulls up to Brittany’s house—his former house. That twinge of pain never seems to dissipate, even though the end of his marriage was inevitable, the loss still hurts. Ryan doesn’t give him much time to dwell on things, though.

“Can I get a PlayStation for my room?”

Eddie barks a laugh and rubs a hand over his eyes. Before he can open his mouth to say no, Luke has to add his own outlandish request.

“Can I get a dog?!”

Your boyfriend just looks at you, silently begging you to take over before his patience completely runs out.

As you unbuckle your seatbelt, you casually announce, “No additional living beings until further notice.”

Luke grumbles, but ultimately relents, climbing out of his booster seat and running up to the door where Brittany is waiting.

“Mom!” Ryan and Luke yell out in unison. The older boy’s enthusiastic grin falters a bit when he notices the fakeness in his mom’s smile, but the younger boy thankfully remains oblivious.

“We’re gonna pick out stuff for our new rooms tomorrow!” Luke chirps.

Brittany’s perfectly plucked brows pinch together in a mix of confusion and her usual perpetual annoyance. “Tomorrow?” she asks, her voice far from genuine. “I thought we would spend tomorrow together, guys.”

“Britt, you said tomorrow you had that work thing, remember?” Eddie reminds her, a smug smile on his face. They both know damn well she just wanted to get out of taking the boys to the toy store when Luke originally asked the other day. 

Brittany glares at Eddie but Luke shrugs and walks away.  

“Another time, Mom.” He says casually, and something inside you breaks. You can feel it in Eddie, too. Luke’s unbothered attitude is too natural, like he’s accustomed to his mother constantly breaking their plans. 

Speaking up will only incur the wrath of Brittany, so you stay silent, leaving Eddie to maneuver the rest of the awkward conversation. 

“See you guys tomorrow,” he calls out to his sons, giving a cordial wave to Brittany. She doesn’t return it, closing the door in your faces. 

Eddie turns to you. “That could have gone worse, I guess.”

You scoff. “Yeah, she could’ve turned into one of those Demogorgon things from your D&D campaigns.”

“Now that would be entertaining.” He takes your hand in his, his rings pressing against your fingers. 

The car ride home will almost certainly involve a discussion about the way the boys’ faces fell when they saw Brittany and how to undo the damage of her bailing on plans. But for now, you take the moment to relish the love between you and Eddie. 

“Look at that lamp! It looks like a jellyfish!”

It seems as if every other thing that Luke sees as the four of you walk up and down the aisles of the store catches his eye. If his new room incorporated all these new interesting finds of his, the small bedroom would look like the storage space of an eccentric car enthusiast who has an odd pension for nautical memorabilia. 

“I thought you wanted a Hot Wheels room,” Eddie says for what feels like the fortieth time.

“I do, that lamp just looks cool,” Luke says. “Hey! Can I get one of those rugs that looks like there are roads on it so I can drive my cars all around?”

“If we see one,” his dad tells him. 

Luke may only be five, but he already has expensive tastes. Ryan seems to be the opposite on this shopping trip—he doesn’t seem to know what he wants. None of the movie or character themed bed sets thrilled him, and there wasn’t a sport or activity he wanted highlighted. The only things the elder Munson brother had in the cart so far were a set of two black bookshelves to hang on the walls and a package of glow in the dark stars to stick to his ceiling. 

On the other hand, Luke had already collected Hot Wheels sheets, Hot Wheels curtains, a nightstand that looked like three tires stacked one on top of the other, a stuffed German Shepherd (since he can’t get a real dog, he said), a Scooby Doo calendar, and a set of four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle posters. The young boy had also tried to add an espresso machine to the cart, which was immediately halted by both you and Eddie.

“What in the world do you need an espresso machine for?” you had asked.

“For when I have guests,” Luke replied simply. 

“Oh, right,” Eddie said, raising his eyebrows. “Because I think that much caffeine is exactly what Mia Harrington needs.”

Luke scoffed and rolled his eyes as if his dad thought he was stupid. “Well, I wouldn’t give any to a baby.” 

You pinch the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger, massaging gently. As grateful as you are that you have this opportunity to shop with Eddie and his boys, you can’t deny that your patience is swiftly draining.

“Luke, why are you pouting?” 

The voice doesn’t belong to you, Eddie, or even Ryan. No, this shrill, weasley voice could only belong to one person.

Brittany stands before you, a gaudy pocketbook tucked underneath her arm. Her lips curl into what you can only consider an attempted smile, though it still makes your insides curdle. 

“C’mere.” She motions to her youngest son, pulling him into a too-tight hug. You watch him squirm out of her grasp.

“Britt,” Eddie says through gritted teeth, “I thought you were busy today.”

Brittany shrugs nonchalantly, as though she hasn’t just completely derailed your afternoon. “Moved some things around.” She grins at Ryan and Luke. “What are we buying today?”

We. Like she was paying for any of it.

You swallow your frustration and shoot her an equally feigned smile. “Luke’s getting stuff for his Hot Wheels room, and Ryan still needs a reading lamp.”

“I wanted a race car bed, but Daddy said it was too ‘spensive. So, I’m gonna get Hot Wheels sheets instead,” Luke proudly announces.

Brittany furrows her brows in mock confusion. “But how can you have a Hot Wheels room with a regular bed?” She cocks her head, looking at Eddie. “I mean, you can’t splurge a little? I’m sure you have a guitar you could pawn.”

Eddie bites his lower lip so hard that you swear you see a speck of blood form. He’s holding himself back; being in public and in the presence of his kids keeps him from launching into an expletive-laden tirade.

“I’m not pawning a guitar for a bed he’s going to outgrow in a few years. Especially not when we came up with a good compromise.” His tone is terse, clipped.

Brittany rolls her eyes. “I’m sure the court will love to hear that,” she mutters under her breath, still loud enough for you and Eddie to hear. The boys, luckily, have dashed ahead. 

Your instinct is to bite back with a snarky comment about the court being much more interested in every important event she’s missed, but you restrain yourself. This isn’t your battle to fight, and any remark will just make Eddie’s life harder. Instead, you act as though she hadn’t said a word as you all catch up to the kids. 

Not one to be ignored, Brittany turns to her oldest son. “What about you, Ry? What did you pick out?” Her frown deepens when Ryan shows her the three items in the cart belonging to him. “That’s it? It’s like they forgot about you!”

“We didn’t—” you start, watching hurt seep into Ryan’s eyes, but Eddie quickly squeezes your hand. Don’t play into it. You know her comment stung him, too, and that it was even more difficult for him not to defend himself. 

There was no need for either of you to say anything, because Ryan is ultimately the one who speaks up. 

“I’m still deciding what I want. No one forgot about me—not like how you forgot about my holiday concert.”

Brittany’s cheeks go beet red, her jaw clenched. “You know what? I need to get going now, anyway.” She glares at Eddie. “Drop them off at my house when you’re done.” With that, she walks away. 

Your gaze immediately drops to Ryan, who just stands there as though shocked by his own comeback. “I…I didn’t mean to…” Tears well up in his eyes, and he blinks them back before they can stain his cheeks. “She just…”

Eddie puts one hand on his shoulder. He takes a deep breath, looking up, and you know he’s weighing his options. He can harp on Brittany’s insufficiencies, or he can do the right thing. Be a role model. 

“I know, bud. It’s hard. Especially when we’re angry.” He gives a soft smile. “You’ve got that Munson temper—quiet till it boils over. But you can apologize to Mom when you see her later.”

Ryan nods somberly. 

Eddie glances at you for help, and you carefully oblige. “That doesn’t mean that it’s okay for her to miss your concerts,” you say. “But you can talk about how it makes you feel before those emotions get to be too much.”

“Maybe we should go home,” Eddie says, but Ryan shakes his head. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Ryan swipes at his misty eyes. “I wanna pick out a bed. Maybe one that has the drawers underneath.”

You grin. “More storage space for books?”

Ryan nods, and Eddie grins. “Whose kid is this? Certainly too smart to be mine.”

You want to ask him what he kept stored in his bedroom drawers, but refrain at the last second. Perhaps some things are better left unknown. 

Just one aisle over, Ryan’s attention snags on a bed that has his eyes widening. 

“It has a desk, too!” he says, taking off towards the bed at the end of the aisle. 

“Whoa!” Luke echoes, following behind his big brother. 

You slip your hand into Eddie’s as he pushes the cart forward with the other hand. Even though the boys are preoccupied with the piece of furniture, you keep your voice low. 

“I’m so proud of how you handled that,” you tell your boyfriend. “I was ready to scoop Ryan into my arms and comfort him and tell him everything is okay, but you did the right thing.”

Eddie sighs and gives your hand a small shake. “Shit. When did I become a grown up?” With another, more dramatic sigh, Eddie shakes his head. “Gotta fix that.”

Before you can ask what he means, he leans over and licks up the side of your face, tongue flat and hot against your skin. You squeal, taken by surprise and duck your head down away from him. 

“You’re a child!” you say through a heavy bout of laughter. 

“Damn straight, baby.”

When you look up ahead, the boys are now watching you two, your squeal having gained their attention.

“You guys know that your dad is bonkers?” you ask with a playful smirk on your face. 

“Uh huh!” Luke declares proudly. “We’re the Goof Troop!”

“Oh, are we?” Eddie questions. He spins the cart out of his way, like a car doing donuts, and hoists Luke up, throwing him over his shoulder. “I think you’re the goofiest of the goofs.”

Luke laughs as his orange t-shirt rides up his back. You adjust it for him before leaving the two guys with the matching curls to their antics and join Ryan over by the bed.

“You like this one, huh?” You wrap an arm around the elder brother’s shoulders and give a gentle squeeze. 

Ryan nods. “I wanted a desk in my old room. I mean, the room at the old hou—uh, Mom’s house. But my room is too small for one. But this is perfect! I crawl up top, there’s my bed! I come back down, it’s a desk!”

His excitement is palpable, and you can’t help but lean in and press a kiss to the top of his head. God, you’d give this kid the world if you could. Luke too, of course. They’re both such great kids and it’s moments like these where you realize just how lucky you were to meet this family. 

Brittany’s abrupt departure, while welcome, also means that the boys will be accompanying you and Eddie while you pick out his furniture. Or, as Luke so aptly puts it, “the boring stuff.”

The youngest Munson lasts all of six minutes before he starts whining. Your patience has already worn thin from Brittany’s antics, and you have to take a deep breath before you respond. 

“Luke, we picked out your stuff, now it’s Daddy’s t—”

Tears well up in his eyes. “But I don’t wanna! I wanna go home!”

You and Eddie share a glance. Between your schedule and his, there are few opportunities for you to shop together. You’re trying to remember what days you’ll be free when you hear Ryan pipe up. 

“We should play The Price is Right!” He exclaims. “Y’know, that show we watch when we’re home sick? We can guess the price of Dad’s furniture and see who gets the closest.”

Luke ponders this for just a moment before nodding emphatically. You and Eddie exhale twin sighs of relief, and you make a mental note to thank Ryan later. 

The boys guess on everything from bed sheets to sofas, with Luke’s answers only getting more outlandish. There’s no way he thinks a TV stand costs $80 million…right?

Eddie chuckles as he watches his sons over his shoulder. They’re looking up at a chandelier, Ryan’s lips pursed, and Luke with his head tilted to the side like a confused puppy. Your boyfriend shakes his head in amusement as he faces forward again, pushing the now-heavy cart further down the aisle. 

“I kinda like that lamp,” Eddie says, taking a closer step to the display sets blinding you with their high wattage all aimed in your direction. “Oh shit, that’s nice, too. Babe, what do you think?”

Coming up beside him, you loop your arm through his and press a few kisses to his shoulder.

“Sweetheart, it’s your apartment,” you remind him. “You deserve to make this place your own.” Giving a soft shake of your head, you wrinkle up your nose in a way that Eddie finds adorable. “You don’t want your girlfriend playing interior decorator.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows and angles his head down to meet your eyes. “Am I allowed to ask for my girlfriend’s opinion?”

“Of course.”

“Okaaay,” Eddie says, playfully pulling you in front of him so he can wrap his arms around your middle and run the tips of his calloused fingers over the soft material of your pink shirt. “So, girlfriend, which of the two lamps do you like better?”

The one that first caught Eddie’s eyes was a simple, basic design, but who really needs more than that? The black, twisting metal that twines up to an off-white lampshade is elegant and something you can absolutely see being in Eddie’s new living room. The second lamp is a little more ostentatious, though it’s certainly pretty. The silver body of the lamp resembles an hourglass, rounded edges topped off with a round white lampshade. It’s nice, but not something you can see Eddie being really happy with.

“I like the first one,” you tell him.

“That’s the one I was leaning towards,” he says. Eddie presses a kiss to your cheek before unwinding his arms from around your body so he can grab two of the lamp boxes to add to the cart. “Come on, shortstops. Keep up.”

The boys trail at a small distance, calling out numbers and pointing at various objects on shelves they’ll never be able to correctly identify prices on. With one hand, Eddie pushes the cart forward, and he lays his other hand, large and warm, against the small of your back as you walk.

“Now, this next part in particular is what I really want your opinion on.” Eddie’s words are just above a whisper and the ghosting of his lips against the shell of your ear sends a chill down your spine. There’s no need for you to look, you already know your boyfriend is smirking at the reaction he has on you. 

You turn the corner with the cart and when you see the next aisle, your face feels warm. Of course this is what he wants your input on the most. The bedding department. 

“What exactly would you like my help with?” you ask, feigning as much innocence as you possibly can. 

The aisles of bed linens, bed frames, mattresses, and pillows seem to stretch out for a mile before you. You don’t see this ending without Eddie severely working you up. 

“Well,” Eddie says with a shrug, far too innocuous for the thoughts you know are running through his mind. “We found things for the boys’ rooms, but none for mine yet. And since I’m really hoping you’ll be spending a good amount of time in my bedroom, I’d like you to be comfortable there.”

“Sounds reasonable enough.” You don’t meet his eye, instead strolling closer to the mattresses, to get a better look at them.

“Oh, yes!” you hear Luke cheer as his black and blue sneakers squeak on the linoleum floor. “I’m gonna guess all the beds right!”

Ryan follows along behind his little brother, shaking his head. He looks at you and mouths no he’s not. A chuckle rumbles your chest as you watch the boys walk further down the aisle, inspecting a shelf of body pillows. 

“What kind of mattress do you prefer?” you ask Eddie. “Firm? Soft? Somewhere in the middle?”

“I—” he cuts himself off, brow wrinkling as he looks down at the scuffed white floor beneath his boots. “I don’t actually know.”

“No?” you ask, curiosity burning inside of you. He’ll explain if he wants to, but you’d never push. 

He shakes his head. “I had a hand-me-down mattress when I lived with Wayne. Brought that same mattress when Jeff and I got a tiny ass apartment on the edge of Hawkins. After that I moved in with Brittany and we just used the one she already had. We got a new mattress when we moved into the house, but Brittany went out and picked it out herself. I didn’t see it until I went to sleep on it that night. It’s the same one there now.”

“So that mattress has a few good memories then,” you tease, giving him a gentle smirk. “Let’s test out what you like then.” You take a seat at the foot of the bed on the nearest mattress and hold out your hand to Eddie. 

He parks the cart between two adjacent mattresses and climbs on the mattress next to you. The two of you situate yourselves as if you were going to go to bed, to sleep. 

“This feels…” Eddie shifts his position, adjusting his shoulders to make himself more comfortable. “It’s a little hard.”

“I think so, too,” you agree. “Onto the next.”

After testing half a dozen beds, you and Eddie have deduced that he likes softer mattresses, but not too soft. With one goal achieved, now it’s time to find the most comfortable of the semi-soft mattresses.

“Okay, this might be the best one we’ve laid on,” Eddie says after four attempts. “I really like this.”

“This is nice,” you concur. “One more test.”

Eddie turns his head to look at you in question, but it clicks soon enough as you cuddle up to his side and rest your head on his chest. It’s the exact position the two of you lay in quite frequently, and you have to make sure that this bed is accepting and supportive of that. 

“I mean, I can think of another test,” Eddie says as he wraps his arm around you. “But I don’t think they’d let us do that in the store.”

With a girlish giggle, you press a kiss to Eddie’s chest and push yourself into a seated position. 

“What’s your verdict?” you ask.

Dark chocolate eyes gaze up at the ceiling as Eddie adjusts his position on the bed once more. Then, he slips his eyes closed and rolls onto his side, which is his most common sleeping position.

“Yeah,” he says, opening his eyes. “I’m gonna go with this one.”

“And this one is…thirteen thousand dollars!” Luke calls as he and Ryan run over. Luke face plants on the bed and Ryan plops down next to his brother on his bottom. 

“He tried guessing the price of a lady’s dog,” Ryan says.

Luke lifts his head, blue eyes wide as he pulls his shoulders up towards his ears.

“She was carrying him in a little doggy bag! It looked like she was buying him!”

“This is the one you’re getting?” Ryan asks, ignoring his little brother completely. The older brother bounces slightly as he sits, testing out the springiness.

“Yep,” Eddie says as he pushes himself up from the bed. “Just have to get some sheets for it now. You two stay here and watch the cart, okay? We’re just gonna be right over there looking at the linens.”

“Okay,” Ryan says.

“Aye aye!” Luke gives his dad a salute before going to sit up near the pillows. 

Eddie laces his fingers with yours, tugging you over to where bedsheets lay wrapped in their plastic coverings. “Gonna need your help for this one, baby.”

“Eds,” you protest, “this apartment is for you and the boys. I don’t wanna—”

Your boyfriend leans in and silences you with a kiss. “While I appreciate that…you and I are gonna be the ones getting well-acquainted with these sheets. I wanna make sure you’ll be comfy laying on them…or kneeling on them.” His eyes twinkle mischievously. “Don’t want those pretty knees getting scratched up while you’re riding me.”

You shove him away playfully. “Behave,” you warn, thumbing through the linen options. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Eddie mumbles under his breath, though it’s hard to take that promise seriously when it’s followed by a pinch to your ass. 

Eddie grabs a set of dove gray sheets and a matching comforter from the shelf and turns to head back towards the boys. Before the two of you reach the end of the aisle though, your boyfriend stops short and looks to you with eyes wide as saucers.

“Can I get Star Wars sheets?”

As much as Eddie tries to hold in his laughter, a snort breaks though. You shake your head in bemusement as you pass him by and head towards the arguably more mature Munsons. 

“Okay, so.” Steve stands with his hands on his hips as he addresses his two oldest kids along with Eddie’s boys. “Any box marked with this word,” he points to where FRAGILE is written in black Sharpie, “is not for kids to carry.”

Luke furrows his brow. “Why not?”

Before Steve can answer, Theo speaks up. “Because it says the F-word,” he says matter-of-factly. 

“No, it does not!” Steve sputters. 

“There’s an F right there,” Luke points out. “See?”

Steve sighs. “Yes, that is an f-word, but it says ‘fragile,’ not—never mind.” He shakes his head. “Just don’t touch it.”

Across the room, Eddie grimaces as his uncle tries to lift a coffee table. “Old man,” Eddie calls out. “Put that down before you hurt yourself. My goal is to avoid the emergency room at all costs.”

Wayne shakes his head. “I’m not just gonna stand around while everyone else works,” he protests. 

Eddie runs his fingers through his hair, wincing when he snags them on a knot. 

“I didn’t wanna have to bring out the big guns…” He grins at Wayne’s puzzled expression before calling out to his sons. “Ryan! Luke! Grandpa wants to hear all about that cartoon you’re obsessed with.”

Luke bounds over with Ryan right behind him. “Okay, so there’s a cat and a dog, but they’re stuck together where their butts would be!” He cackles at this. 

“And Cat is scared all the time, but Dog is crazy,” Ryan chimes in. “And he’s always getting Cat into trouble.”

Eddie throws his uncle a wink, a silent I warned you, and slides his arm around your waist. 

“Thank God for shitty kids’ shows,” he murmurs. 

You roll your eyes. “Pretty sure I’ve caught you watching that ‘shitty kids’ show’ on more than one occasion. Even without the boys there.”

Pressing a smacking kiss to your temple, Eddie whirls around to see Lucas, Max, and Dustin struggling with the sofa. “That’ll stay our little secret,” he says before darting off to help them. 

A few hours later, once the moving van has been unloaded and furniture and boxes have been placed in their respective rooms, the whole group finds themselves in the living room. The youngest Munsons sit on the floor next to their Uncle Dustin. Wayne rests on the couch, sandwiched between Eddie and Steve. You, Lucas, and Max pull up some folding chairs. Each of you has a slice of pizza on a paper towel, since no one wanted to unpack the plates. 

Pressing on his knees, Eddie stands up. “Before we dig in, I’d just like to offer a toast.” He raises his beer bottle, and everyone does the same—root beer for the boys, of course. “To the best moving crew this town has ever seen. May we never have to do this again.”

Everyone nods in agreement, bottles clinking before the room goes quiet. The only noise is the sound of pizza being devoured. 

You look at Eddie, trading exhausted smiles. Today was long, but it was one huge step closer to your future together. No matter how strongly sleep beckoned you, you wouldn’t trade this for the world. 

Once all that remains of the pizzas are the few crusts left behind in the box, everyone starts to head out. Eddie makes sure to thank each of them again when they say their goodbyes. 

Wayne is the last one there besides you and the boys. The older man yanks his keys free from his back pocket and jingles them in his hand as he walks towards the front door.

“This is a nice place you got here, Ed.”

It doesn’t matter how old he is, hearing praise from Wayne still makes Eddie feel like a little boy making his father proud. He can’t help but smile as he shuffles over to his uncle.

“It is pretty nice, isn’t it?” Eddie looks around, taking in the dark green walls that he can’t wait to fill up with silly photos of the boys and pictures of your beautiful face to greet him every morning. A blank slate, his to do what he wants with.

“I’m proud of ya, son,” Wayne says, clapping Eddie on the shoulder. “You were dealt a rough hand but you’re making it through alright.”

“Doing my best,” Eddie admits with a shrug.

“That’s all anyone can,” Wayne says. “I’ll see you later, kid. Where my boys?”

As if waiting for their cue, both Luke and Ryan rush at Wayne, arms open and ready to receive their goodbye hugs.

“Bye, Grandpa!” Ryan says as he’s squeezed in the older man’s arms.

“Remember,” Luke says when it’s his turn to get hugged, “Catdog is on Nickelodeon, not Cartoon Network.”

“I’ll try to remember that,” Wayne says with a hearty chuckle. Next, those wise blue-gray eyes are aimed your way and before you even realize it, you’re going in for a hug. 

Being hugged by Wayne is like cuddling up with a cherished childhood teddy bear after you’ve had a bad day. It feels safe, warm, and loving. It’s as obvious as Luke’s love for Hot Wheels where Eddie learned how to be a good father. Wayne might like to make people think he’s rough around the edges, but you’ve learned in a short time that he’s Mr. Softy when it comes to anything involving his family. But who can blame him when his family is Eddie, Luke, and Ryan?

“You take care, doll,” Wayne says, giving you a soft pat on the back before pulling away. “And let me know if any of these three get out of line.”

“Us?” Luke asks, voice an octave higher than usual as he gestures to himself. “Never!”

“Uh huh,” Wayne hums with a rumbling laugh. He ruffles the smallest boy’s curls before heading out the door. 

You, Eddie, and the boys leave a few minutes later—not without arguing with Luke about using the bathroom. Ryan and Luke climb into the backseat, and after double-checking that they’re securely buckled in, you slide into the passenger seat. 

Eddie shifts the gears from park to reverse, and you keep your hand atop his. The ride back to Brittany’s is fairly quiet, with no bickering from the brothers. Apparently, a long day of unpacking boxes and bothering their grandpa has worn them out. 

It isn’t until you’re a few blocks away from the house that Luke speaks up. 

“Dad, what’s for dinner tonight?”

Eddie keeps his eyes on the road as he answers. “You’re, uh, gonna have to ask Mom about that,” he says evenly. 

“Can you ask her not to make fish sticks? I hate those.”

A lump forms in Eddie’s throat. He thought the boys both understood what the living situation was going to be. Sometimes it’s easy to forget Luke is only five with the larger than life personality he has or that Ryan is only seven when Eddie’s pretty positive the kid is smarter than he is. Eddie silently prays that he won’t have to explain the separation time and time again because he doesn’t think he has the strength to repeatedly let his sons down. Because that’s what he’s doing, right? Breaking their little hearts by telling them things are changing whether they like it or not.

It seems like aspects of it they like—like you being around more and being their father’s girlfriend. But it’s hard for them to grasp that in order for that to happen, they have to have Mom live in one place and Daddy in another. Eddie’s sure that the three of them not all waking up in the same house everyday is killing him more than it is them.

“Luke, buddy,” Eddie starts. “I’m not eating dinner with you tonight. We’ll eat dinner together when you stay at my place.”

Ryan leans forward. “Is Mom gonna eat with us there, too?”

You catch the sadness in Eddie’s face. The two of you know that it isn’t healthy for the boys to grow up in a home with parents who don’t want to be together, but that doesn’t mean the divorce is easy. You give Eddie’s hand a small squeeze of support.

“Guys, Mom and I don’t live together anymore. She lives at the house, and I live at the apartment.”

“Oh.�� Realization hits Ryan. “So…you and Mom are gonna be separate forever?”

Forever. Eddie had promised Brittany forever that day at the altar, and now they’d reached a much different definition of that word. 

It’s funny how the same word is so full of promise and excitement, blooming with life and warmth when he says it to you, but shriveled up and desiccated when presented by his sons in this context.

“Yeah. That’s what happens when people get divorced—they stop living together. But you will always have a home at Mom’s, and you’ll always have a home with me. They just won’t be the same home.”

There’s only silence as Luke and Ryan process the information. Neither you nor Eddie are used to them being so quiet; the million follow-up questions you’d anticipated never arise. 

The floodgates burst when Eddie pulls into Brittany’s driveway, before the seatbelts can even be unfastened. 

“I d-don’t wanna leave!” Luke cries, tugging his knees to his chest. “I don’t want Dad to live at the ‘partment!”

Your heart lurches. There’s nothing to say or do—he’s disappointed, and rightfully so. As much as you love Eddie, as glad as you are that he’s yours, you wish he and his sons didn’t have to deal with the pain of this divorce. 

Eddie helps Luke out of the car, then Ryan. The older boy is fighting back tears of his own. 

“I know this change is hard,” Eddie says to both kids, “but we’ll get used to it. I promise.”

Luke shakes his head, his curly mop of hair tangling. “No! I don’t wanna get used to it! I want you to live here again!”

“I know,” Eddie repeats, exhaling. “I wish I could make it easier.” He kisses each of his boys on the forehead and turns to you. 

Ryan and Luke follow his gaze. They look even younger, smaller somehow, when they’re sad. All you want is to protect them from all of the bad in the world. 

You open up your arms, enveloping them in a hug. “We’ll see you guys super soon, okay?”

It isn’t okay, and you’re sure Luke is about to tell you that. But then the front door swings open. 

“Good, you boys are home. Wait. What’s wrong? What’s going on?” Brittany looks from the heartbroken boys in your arms over to Eddie in question. She doesn’t give anyone a chance to reply before her eyes snap back to the boys and she demands, “What’s wrong? Luke?”

The five-year-old turns out of your arms and buries his face in his father’s t-shirt. His small sniffles and sobs are heart wrenching, and you find yourself holding onto Ryan a little tighter out of reflex. Ryan rests his head against your body. The feeling of his shoulders heaving dials up your instinct to comfort, so you card your fingers through the boy’s honey brown curls.

Eddie is doing his best to comfort Luke as well. One ringed hand rubs up and down Luke’s small back, while the other cups the back of the boy's head as he cries. The pain lashing through your heart is nearly unbearable—you can’t even begin to imagine how bad it is for Eddie. 

“He was a little confused about having two places to live now,” Eddie explains to Brittany. “He, uh, doesn’t want me living at the apartment.” 

Brittany, to your surprise, stays quiet. She simply nods her head and crosses her arms over her chest. 

“Do you want to go inside, Luke?” Ryan speaks up from your arms, standing up straight so he’s no longer leaning against you for support.

Still sniffling, Luke turns from Eddie’s torso and nods at his big brother, his left fist coming up to rub at his eye. 

Ryan nods and steps out of the circle of your arms to offer his little brother his hand. Luke grips it tightly, like it’s a lifeline and he’s scared Ryan is going to be the next one to live somewhere else. 

The two make their way into the house and the gazes of you three adults on the porch follow them until they’re out of sight. 

Letting out a pained sigh, Eddie rubs his hands over his face. He hardly gets those two seconds of reprieve because Brittany immediately snarls at him.

“So, you just explained it all to him without me? Without even telling me?”

The look you register on Eddie’s face first is shock, but it disappears after half a second, used to this insanity and savagery from his ex.

“What did you want me to do?” Eddie sounds exhausted. Mentally, now, in addition to physically from moving furniture all day. “He was upset, did you want me to have him hold on so I could have you come over to the apartment? Get into the car with us?” 

She probably wouldn’t have anyway, you say to yourself.

“Now I have to deal with him being upset,” Brittany complains.

You’re seeing red. The world is painted in crimsons and scarlets and it’s a good thing Eddie speaks up first, because something would’ve come out of your mouth that you would’ve ended up regretting later. 

“He’s your son,” Eddie argues, seething anger present in his voice as well. “That’s part of your job. You should want to comfort him when he’s upset.”

With one last roll of her eyes and a loud scoff, Brittany steps back into the house and slams the front door behind her. 

Eddie takes a few breaths before he lets out a pained chuckle and turns away from the house.

“I hate her so fucking much,” he says. 

Your boyfriend takes a deep breath and turns to you. The pain in his eyes steals the breath from your lungs. That agony morphs into a look you can’t interpret at first. No, it’s still pain, just a different kind. He speaks up before you can ask about it.

“This shit isn’t easy,” he says. The tone of his voice makes it click for you. Part of him thinks you’re going to walk away from all of this. Now that the emotions are raw on a different level, he thinks you’re going to change your mind about this. About him. 

But he’s crazier than Brittany is if he thinks you’re going to leave his side for even a moment.

“I know,” you answer him with a shrug of your shoulders. “But I’m not going anywhere, Eds. I’m here for you—all three of you.”

The plug is pulled on that pain and worry, and it all disappears down the drain to make room for the love and gratefulness that fills him up now. A small smile even curls one corner of his mouth up.

“Have I told you that I love you lately?” he asks.

“Not in the last…” you peer down at your watch before meeting his gaze once more, “hour or so. So, I think you’re due.”

Eddie steps forwards and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I love you,” he whispers. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

His voice faltered slightly on the word “home,” but you don’t let him dwell on that. You slip your arm around his waist and start walking towards the car. “Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Eddie says as the two of you step into the driveway, “I got that bottle of champagne I bought for your birthday that I left at the Harrington’s. Figured it could be used to celebrate the new place. But, shit, I think I’m going to need something a whole lot stronger than champagne when we get back.”

[pickingupmymercedes]

Thank you, for everything (it takes a village) - Lewis Hamilton ft. Ayrton Senna

Little something for the 30th Anniversary of Senna's legacy

pairing: Senna! Reader X Lewis Hamilton

warnings: mentions of death, mourning, 30th anniversary of Senna's legacy

wordcount: +4k

song: In your arms - Birdy

a/n: People in Brasil don't say is the anniversary of his death but rather of his legacy, and it's such a beautiful way to see it. I hope Ayrton knows, wherever he is, how loved he still is.

a/n.2: Ayrton was known as Beco/Becão by his family and friends

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi! (Also, my written portuguese is a bit rusty, so if there's anything weird, please let me know)

______________________________________________________________

When hope went away I still held on, to the love that you gave, it’s all I’ve got of you now. I will never know you, don’t get to understand, no answers to questions. It’s too late for that. But I was in your arms, once

A pre-dawn Miami humidity clung to y/n like a second skin, even inside the automatically cooled hotel room. The city slept, but the salty air carried a raw energy that mirrored the turmoil brewing within her. Today, the 1st of May, was a day she always needed to face alone.

She laid there, staring at the ceiling, the weight growing with each passing moment. Today, the air itself seemed thick with an unspoken grief, a shared memory of loss that resonated across the globe. 30 years. Three decades since the world had watched in horror as lives changed forever, hers included.

The sheets felt too restrictive, the silence too loud. Pulling them back, she tiptoed past the rumpled form of Lewis, still fast asleep. He'd offered to come with her, to run by the beach together, but she needed this. Needed the solitude, the rhythmic pounding of her feet against the pavement to chase away the ghosts of a past she barely remembered.

Miami slept, bathed in the faint glow of pre-dawn light, but Y/N felt wide awake, her mind a whirlwind of emotions. Stepping out onto the balcony, the salty air stung her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she gazed out at the vast expanse of the ocean, the darkness slowly giving way to a canvas of vibrant oranges and pinks.

A single tear traced a path down her cheek, a silent tribute to a love stolen too soon. Every year on this day, it was as if the world held its breath, waiting for her grief to surface. This anniversary wasn't a celebration; it was a stark reminder of the void that had forever shaped her life.

The need to move, to outrun the memories that threatened to consume her, became an insistent ache. With each step, a memory flickered to life, but one always stood out the most, the one few people knew of.

She was four, piloting her tiny kart around a makeshift track at Interlagos. The familiar scent of burnt rubber and exhaust fumes flooded her senses, transporting her back to a time before tragedy struck. Y/n grinned, her hair whipping in the wind, as she pushed her little kart to its limits.

A wild turn, a sickening jolt, and the world tilted sideways. Then, strong arms scooped her up. "Tudo bem aí, filha?" (Everything okay there, darling?)  Her father's voice, warm and reassuring. He checked her over, a playful glint in his dark brown eyes. "Você tava indo bem, se assustou?" (You were doing great, did you scare yourself?)

Y/n shook her head, a defiant tear clinging to her cheek. “Eu acho que tá bom por hoje já.” (I think that’s enough for today) Ayrton ruffled her hair, a conforting glint in his eyes. “Não pai, eu quero baixar o tempo da volta”(No dad, I wanna lap faster) little y/n stood her ground, already half way back into her kart. "Vamos voltar lá e mostrar como se faz então, Senninha” (Let’s go back there and show who’s boss then, Senninha).

The memory faded, replaced by the rhythmic sound of the waves. Y/n stopped, chest heaving. Frustration gnawed at her. She would never know that feeling of hearing him cheer her on in that deep, familiar voice again. All she had were these fleeting snippets, these echoes of a life stolen too soon.

Each stride was a battle cry against the past, a desperate attempt to find some semblance of peace. She ran until the sun climbed higher, painting the sky in vibrant hues, until her lungs burned and her legs screamed for mercy. Finally, Y/n slowed to a walk, chest heaving, sweat stinging her eyes.

Collapsing onto a weathered bench, she leaned forward, hands on her knees, gasping for breath. As the initial wave of exhaustion subsided, a new clarity washed over her. The memories would always be there, a bittersweet reminder of a love lost.

But today, she would celebrate his life, his passion, his legacy that lived on, not just in her name, but in the hearts of countless who still chanted his name at races.

Returning to the hotel, Y/n showered, the steam slowly clearing the remnants of the run and the emotional turmoil. Opening the bathroom door, she found Lewis propped up on the bed, scrolling through his phone. He looked up, a concerned look in his warm brown eyes.

"Morning," he said, his voice slightly raspy. "Early run?"

She offered a tired smile. "Needed to clear my head." She sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling a towel around her damp hair. "Big day ahead"

Lewis put down his phone, his gaze intent on her. "Yeah," he agreed, his voice softer now. "You alright?"

Taking another deep breath, she met his gaze. "Yeah, I'll be okay. Just… emotional, even more so this year"

Lewis reached out and took her hand, his touch a warm anchor in the storm of her emotions. "No judgment," he said quietly. "Today isn't easy for you, I know."

Y/n leaned into his touch, finding comfort in his understanding. "Interviews all day and the dinner at night" she sighed. "They want me to relive it all – the memories, the grief. It gets exhausting sometimes."

Lewis nodded. "Maybe you could have your people reschedule some of it. There's no need to—"

She cut him off with a gentle shake of her head. "No, Lew. I can't hide from it. Today may be hard, but it's important. It's a chance to celebrate his life, to keep his memory alive." she squeezed his hand, a newfound determination strengthening her resolve. "I just…" she hesitated, her voice thick with emotion, "I wish I could remember more."

Lewis's gaze softened further. "You may not have years of childhood memories, but you carry his spirit in you. His passion, his strength, that's part of who you are."

Y/n looked out the window, at the city slowly waking up to a new day. His words held truth. She may not have clear memories of her father, but his legacy, his love, was woven into the fabric of her being.

Taking another deep breath, she met Lewis's gaze, a small smile danced in her eyes "I hope so.”

Today would be impossibly hard. As people celebrated a hero, she would mourn a loss, but they would all be facing the future nonetheless. He may have been gone, but the love he gave her remained, with her and in her.

"I remember you my way, It’s not perfect or fair, I paint you with colours, That weren’t ever there. Feels harder these days after so long, ‘Cause my memory fades"

The sterile hotel conference room felt strangely warm, the air thick with a mix of anticipation and unspoken grief. Y/n sat opposite Galvão Bueno, the legendary Brazilian motorsport commentator, his kind eyes reflecting a lifetime of witnessing triumphs and tragedies on the track.

But this wasn't just another interview. Galvão knew Ayrton. Knew him not just as a driver, but as a friend, a competitor, a kindred spirit who left a void in Brazilian hearts, and most acutely, in Y/n's.

The interview began, a dance between formality and shared history. Galvão's questions flowed, laced with a quiet respect that Y/n appreciated. "Ayrton" he began, a nostalgic smile playing on his lips "sempre teve uma maneira diferente de cativar o público” (always had a way of captivating a room"

Y/n nodded, a flicker of curiosity sparking in her eyes. "Ele tinha” (He did) she admitted "Mas para ser bem honesta, eu lembro de sempre ficar puxando ele para sair dos lugares porque ele parava para conversar com todo mundo” (But to be honest, I remember always dragging him out of every room because he would stop and talk to everyone)

A warm chuckle escaped Galvão's lips at her confession. He leaned forward, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Você sabia que antes de toda corrida, ele fazia um ritualzinho? Ele parava na frente do carro, fechava os olhos, e... bom, ninguém sabe direito o que ele fazia. Mas ele tocava o carro em três lugares específicos – o nariz, a roda direita dianteira, e aqui” (Did you know that before every race, he'd have this little ritual? He'd stand by his car, close his eyes, and…well, no one knew exactly what he did, but he'd touch the car in three specific places – the nose cone, the front right wheel, and then, right here) Galvão tapped his chest over his heart.

Y/n smiled, surprised that someone still remembered that sequence. But, although this was the Ayrton Senna she knew from the countless documentaries and newsreels, how he recounted that from memory was a glimpse of a private Ayrton, a man seeking solace and strength before the roar of the engines began, not something she would notice while watching a video.

"E tem mais, Senninha” (There's more, Senninha) he said, using the affectionate nickname many Brazilians called her by. "Você sabe que ele era muito supersticioso. Ele nunca usava um capacete novo pela primeira vez em um final de semana de corrida. Sempre insistia em um mais velho, mesmo que estivesse ruim para usar.” (He was fiercely superstitious, you see. He wouldn't wear a new helmet for the first time on a race weekend. Always insisted on the old one, even if it was a little worse for wear.)

Y/n couldn't help but let out a small laugh, a welcome sound that broke the tension in the room. "Parece exatamente algo que ele faria” (That sounds exactly like something he’d do) she said, a newfound appreciation blooming in her chest.

Galvão continued, weaving a tapestry of anecdotes. He spoke of Ayrton's meticulous work ethic, his relentless pursuit of perfection, and then, with a twinkle in his eye, of his playful side. "Ele sempre arrastava os reporters brasileiros para o kart em Interlagos, lá onde você aprendeu a pilotar” (He'd always drag Brazilian reporters to go-kart at Interlagos, right there where you learned how to race" he reminisced, a fond smile creasing his face. "E deixa eu te contar, seu pai sempre ganhava da gente, por muito!" (And let me tell you, your father would always beat us, by far)

Y/n listened, captivated. These were stories of a man, not just a legend. A man who found joy in competition, even outside the high-pressure world of Formula One. As the interview progressed, a kaleidoscope of Ayrton unfolded before her, a man filled with complexities and contradictions, yet undeniably her father.

Stepping out of the stifling conference room, Y/n felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her. Galvão's interview had stirred a potent cocktail of emotions within her – a heady mix of pride, nostalgia, and a gnawing sense of loss. Back in her hotel room, she found her ant Viviane unpacking a basket of goodies as she waited for her youngest niece. The scent of warm pão de queijo filled the air, a familiar comfort amidst the whirlwind of emotions.

"Você chegou, florzinha" (You’re here, little flower) the elder woman said, her voice as warm as the sun, pulling Y/n into a tight embrace. "Como foi?” (How did it go)

Y/n sank into the hug, the scent of lavender and her ant’s comforting embrace temporarily pushing aside the weight of the interview. "Foi bom” (It was good) she mumbled, pulling away slightly. “Galvão knew Dad well, that's for sure” y/n’s changed to English, hoping it’d be okay to use the language she didn’t have to think so hard to answer back in.

Both women sat by the outdoor sitting area of the room, the crash of the waves a comforting distraction as y/n ate the last bits of the cheese bread that were being served all day during the interviews on the anniversary and promotions for the new Netflix show.

"I believe everything's going well for the dinner latter tonight” the younger offered, more out of obligation than conviction. Viviane’s gaze sharpened, the lines around her eyes crinkling with a quiet understanding. She held Y/n’s gaze until she asked "But something troubles you, doesn't it?"

Y/n hesitated, her fingers fiddling with the edge of her shirt. It was a familiar pattern her family knew all too well, the switch to English, the fiddling, the lack of glint in the eyes she had inherited from Ayrton.

Taking a deep breath, y/n confessed, "It's just…all these interviews, all these stories about Dad. I feel like everyone knew a part of him I never did."

A shadow flickered across Viviane’s face, a brief echo of the grief they both still carried. She reached out, gently squeezing Y/n's hand. "My love" she began, her voice soft yet firm “Beco was a complex man. Even those closest to him couldn't fully grasp him. He was a whirlwind, a force of nature on the track, but off it…" she paused, a wistful smile gracing her lips. "He was a private man, and yes, perhaps a little distant at times. He lived for his racing, dedicating every fiber to it."

Y/n nodded, a familiar ache tightening her chest. "It's not that I blame him," she said quietly. "He was the best."

Viviane’s smile softened. "He was, my darling. But being the best came at a cost. It left little room for the mundane, the everyday things that build memories."

A flicker of a childhood memory sparked in Y/n's mind – the faint scent of her father's cologne, the warmth of his hand enveloping hers as they walked through a park. They weren't grand gestures, but they were hers, proof of a love that existed beyond trophies and championships.

The elder saw the shift in Y/n's eyes, the glimmer of a forgotten memory. "Não se compare com o Galvão ou com qualquer outro, meu amor” (Don't compare yourself to Galvão or the others, my love) she said gently. "Você é a filha dele. Você conheceu o Beco, o homem com o mesmo olhar que o seu” (You are his daughter. You knew Beco, the man with the same eyes as yours)

Y/n's gaze drifted out to the bustling Miami cityscape, a blur compared to the vivid image forming in her mind's eye – a playful smile on her father's face as he taught her how to say pão de queijo. It was a fleeting memory, but a precious one nonetheless.

The stories, though fragmented, were pieces of a larger puzzle, a picture of her father that was starting to take shape, not just as a legendary driver, but as a man capable of love, laughter, and quiet moments of joy.

As they finished their lunch, Viviane placed a comforting hand on Y/n's cheek. "Go now, my darling," she said, her voice soft yet strong. "Celebrate your father, honor his memory. But don't forget to celebrate the love you shared, the love that lives on within you."

Y/n nodded, tears welling up in her eyes, this time tears of gratitude for the woman who had been a constant source of love and support throughout her life. Leaning in, they embraced tightly. "Obrigada, tia. Por tudo" (Thank you, antie. For everything) she whispered, the words thick with emotion.

As she left the hotel room later, for another round of interviews before the official dinner, Y/n went to the window, gazing out at the ocean once again, taking a deep breath, she whispered, "Obrigada, pai. Por tudo.” (Thank you, dad. For everything). It was a simple phrase, but for her, it held the weight of a lifetime of love and an unspoken promise to keep his legacy alive.

"And these aren’t tears because you’re gone, But for all the years that we lost, All those times I missed that love, Had it just for a moment"

As the night dawned in Miami, the heat dissipated but the humidity continued to clung to the city like a second skin. Y/n bustled around the room, a flurry of nervousness. The dinner to celebrate Ayrton Senna’s legacy started in a couple of hours and although the event had been meticulously planned for weeks, and by at least 30 people, the weight of the world felt concentrated on Y/n shoulder’s, the formal host to the dinner.

Lewis emerged from the shower, a towel wrapped around his lower waist, beads of water clinging to his dark braids. He stopped short at the sight of Y/n, a smile spreading across his face as he took sight of her sat perched on the edge of the bed, a faded white t-shirt of his hanging loosely on her frame, a white towel turbaned around her wet hair.

"Planning on hitting the town like that?" he teased, a playful glint in his eyes. "Although" he added, his voice dropping a touch lower, "I do love the look."

Y/n laughed, a sound that banished the last vestiges of worry from Lewis's heart. "Not quite," she said, her smile widening. "I’m trying to figure out what to post"

He noticed her phone held open on the bed, displaying two video options. As he walked closer, his bare chest brushing against hers for a fleeting moment – a small reminder of the intimacy they shared – Y/n looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with a light he hadn't yet seen earlier in the day.

"Help me choose" she said, her voice filled with a newfound energy.

He picked her up and sat her on his laps, occupying her place by the edge of the bed, the scent of his shower gel a subtle but pleasant counterpoint to the sweet aroma of the lotion she had applied. He leaned over to see the two videos.

The first one, showed a baby Y/n, barely a year old, toddling through a sun-dappled garden, her chubby arms flailing as she chased a flurry of brightly colored butterflies. In the background, Ayrton with a gentle smile on his face, playfully swatting the butterflies away from his daughter.

The second video, showed a slightly older Y/n, around two years-old, in a swimming pool. Ayrton, submerged in the water next to her, was demonstrating how to blow bubbles. Y/n, a mischievous glint in her eyes, mimicked his actions, creating a flurry of glistening bubbles that danced around her face.

"The bubble one. Something about that mischievous gleam in your eyes always has me hooked” Lewis said, amusement dancing in his voice

Y/n laughed, a sound so genuine and unburdened that it made Lewis's heart skip a beat. "I was always a rowdy thing" she admitted, a playful glint in her own eyes.

"A charming one, at that" Lewis confirmed, reaching out to kiss her shoulder. Picking the video, Lewis handed the phone back to her. "Let the world see that side to you" Y/n grinned, tapping on the screen to schedule the post.

She got up and disappeared into the bathroom to get dressed, and a few minutes later Lewis walked into Y/n intently listening to her phone on speaker, as she fiddled with a stray curl as she spoke.

"Adriane" she soothed; her voice laced with a warmth that cut through the phone's static. "Você está indo como minha convidada, lembra?” (You're coming as my guest, remember?)

A nervous laugh tinkled on the other end. “Eles sabem disso?” (Do they know that?). Andriane, Ayrton's last girlfriend and a prominent Brazilian television personality.

Y/n bit her lip, a pang of sympathy shooting through her. "Eu sei.” (I do know) she sighed. "Eu sei que eles nunca realmente te aceitaram, mas você era diferente. Você foi a única que ele me apresentou” (I know they never really accepted you, but you were different. You were the only one he introduced to me."

A brief silence followed, then Adriane spoke, her voice softer now. "Ele queria uma família, Y/n. Uma família para você. Ele sempre falava isso, seu futuro, com ele” (He wanted a family, Y/n. A family for you. He talked about it all the time, your future, with him)

Y/n's heart clenched. Memories flickered – fleeting glimpses of her father smiling at her from across a dinner table, his eyes holding a tenderness she hadn't quite understood at the time. Perhaps, she thought, there had been more to those moments than she'd realized.

"Obrigada Adriane, por tudo. Por ter sido parte da vida dele, e por ser parte da minha, do seu jeito.” (Thank you Adriane, for everything. For being a part of his life, and for being a part of mine, in your own way) she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

Adriane sniffled softly and then laughed “Você é tão charmosa quanto ele, Senninha” (You are as much of a charmer as he was, Senninha) a sound that banished the last traces of tension. "Vai dar tudo certo.” (Everything will be alright)

With a final exchange of goodbyes, Y/n hung up. Glancing over at Lewis, who was attempting to catch the few Portuguese words he could understand. She took a deep breath. "My family’s not gonna make this any easier" she sighed, her voice hesitant.

Lewis turned and reached for her, pulling her by the waist with a questioning look etched on his face. Y/n, feeling a flicker of anxiety, explained the conversation, but mostly of the unwavering loyalty she felt towards the woman who held such a significant piece of her father's story.

As she finished, Lewis placed a gentle hand on her cheek. "You miss him, don't you?" he asked softly, his eyes filled with understanding as you gave him a sad smile and nod.

"It doesn't matter how long it's been" Lewis continued, his voice firm yet gentle. "Grief doesn't have a deadline."

Y/n remained silent, the weight of his words settling in. He knew the anniversary was a constant reminder, a punch to the gut every year. He could only imagine the whirlwind of emotions it brought – the bittersweet memories mixed with the crushing weight of what could have been.

"It feels unfair, sometimes…" she started, her voice catching signaling she wouldn’t complete her thoughts. Lewis tightened his hold on her, pulling her closer. "It is unfair," he agreed, his voice a low rumble against her ear.

Y/n leaned into his touch, seeking solace in his words and the steady beat of his heart. The dam finally broke, and a light sob went thought her body. Tears streamed down her face, hot and silent. Lewis held her close, whispering reassurances against her hair, letting her feel without judgment.

"Every year," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion, "it's like a punch to the gut. A reminder of all the birthdays, holidays, just…everyday moments I missed with him." Her voice cracked. "Everyone has stories, memories. They remember his laugh, his jokes, his warmth. All I have are these…flashes of moments, barely enough to string together a semblance of who he was."

Lewis didn't try to fix it, to offer empty platitudes. He simply held her gaze as she spoke, a silent promise etched in his eyes. He wouldn't try to replace the memories she never had, but he would be a part of her future, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold.

“It's okay to mourn the future that was stolen from you” he whispered, his voice gentle, as Y/n leaned into his touch, a flicker of something akin to peace flickering in her eyes. "Do you think he would have liked me?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

The question hung heavy in the air. It was a question she'd probably grappled with for years, a silent fear gnawing at the edges of her grief. Lewis knew he couldn't give her a definitive answer, but he could offer her the solace of a possibility.

"There's no doubt he would have loved you fiercely." he said, his voice firm with conviction. “And he would have been so proud of the woman you've become."

Silence settled between them once more, but this time it was a comfortable silence, filled with a newfound understanding. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "For being here, for listening, for understanding."

Y/n turned, her eyes meeting his in the mirror, a fresh wave of tear forming in her eyelids. A faint smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"These aren't sad tears" she explained, wiping away at her eyes "They're just…wish you were here' kind of tears… For this" Y/n gestured at the phone on the counter. "For the celebration, for being surrounded by people who loved him. I just wish he could be here too."

Her voice softened, an acceptance in her eyes. The pain and loss would always be there, a part of her story. But there was also space for joy, for celebrating his life, and for building a future for herself.

As he pulled her into a warm embrace, Lewis whispered into her ear, "He is here, Y/n. In you, in your strength, in the mischief you still carry in your eyes. Every step you take forward is partly because of his love for you."

They stood there for a moment longer, a silent conversation passing between them. Y/n pulled away, wiping the last vestiges of moisture from her cheeks.

"Alright then" she said, a playful glint back in her eyes. "Let's go celebrate Dad. And show Miami a little Brazilian hospitality."

Lewis grinned. "Lead the way" his arms wrapping her and turning her around so he could kiss her.

The 30th anniversary of his death, although grim and a meticulously planned affair, held a significance that went beyond events, interview and RSVPs. It was a celebration of a life well-lived, a father cherished, and a daughter determined to carry his legacy forward, one mischievous bubble at a time.

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour @vicurious28

@0710khj @thecubanator2 @neilakk @bigratbitchsworld @adriswrld

@fearfam69691 @cmleitora

[thisismeracing]

Just us | LH44

SOCIAL MEDIA AU

Pairing: black!singer!reader (she/her) x lewis hamilton

Warnings: curse words, Twitter environment, it’s not proofread, etc etc. Minors DNI!

summary: Some fans noticed how Leiws is constantly listening to Y/n's songs and decided to back him up and make it happen a bit faster. Will their cupid play work?

a/n: none of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps. everything else is made up by me and I do not give permission for it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

my masterlist | my taglist

f1updates

liked by lewishamilton, and others

f1updates We have a new guest this weekend 😉

View all 7,634 comments

lewisleclerc WHYS IS LEWIS UNSHAMEFULLY LURKING HERE??? Lmaooo

ynsunshine I am so jealous of lewis rn 😭

auroraf1 she is so pretty I wanna cry

lewis44m They have the same energy istg, both gorgeous, both stylish, both rich. Its their world, we just living in it l, at this point

mercedesamgf1

liked by georgerussell63, charles_leclerc, and others

mercedesamgf1 I wonder why he is this happy 🤔🤔🤔🤭

view all 14,328 comments

justusyn LMFAO I love you, mercedes admin!!!

sirlewis44 I love how he tried to be smooth but we were too anxious and did it in less than a month hahahahaha

mercedesmiracle He will absolutely win today, rain or no rain

f1fantasy he looks so good ugh 😩

lewisfan

liked by yourusername, and others

lewisfan Lewis the whole interview vs. Lewis when someone mentioned Yn

view all 3,425 comnents

1directioncars He’s a simp!

princessyn YN LIKED HAHAHAHAH

popyn they are in love, I can’t prove, but I just know they are

winterraces I am so happy, both if theem seem to be glowing lately 🥹

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, lizzobeating, and others

yourusername vroom vroom 💜

view all 18,263 comments

swifttyn madam, whose car is this?

⤷ f1fantasy It def Lewis’

hundredmiles1 Lewis is such a lucky mf 😭 I wanna be him so bad

ynfrance New album dropping when?

ferrarisainz YOURE TELLING ME HE LET HER DRIVE HIS CAR???????!

mercedesmystical the caption is sending me 😂😂😂😂

lewishamilton

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and others

lewishamilton just us ❤️

view all 18,930 comments

popyn they are in love, I can prove

lewiswchampion The last picture is sending me 😂😂😂

⤷ ynsunny boyfriend goals

mercedesamgf1 💜💜💜💜

⤷ tifositilltheend Even mercedes approves!

schumercedes Wanna bet “just us” is Yns new single and he’s casually dropping some hints about it?

yourusername it’s just us against the world ❤️

elitebarzal I am so happy I made part of the making of this couple

⤷ szayn bestie, I will tell that to my future kids 😭

yourusername

liked by summerwalker, lewishamilton and others

yoursername Just Us is out now in every stream platform 💋

view all 21,203 comments

mickmercedes I want what they have

⤷ russelllindo but you dont even know what they have 🧐

⤷ mickmercedes but I want it anyway

lewishamilton so proud of you ❤️

⤷ yourusername of us! ❤️

lewislegit YALL TELLING ME HE WROTE THE SONG TOO?????

mercedesamgf1 We have it on loop on our race day playlist 😌

tintedf1car do you guys need

eliteschumacher mom and dad

***********************************

If you liked it, make sure to like and reblog <3 feel free to talk to me as well, my inbox is always open!

I will start a taglist on my posts, to be part of it you just gotta comment/send an ask saying so, and most important: have your age in your profile (I don't interact with minors!). See you guys next story! <3

[punkitt-is-here]

How can I cultivate the same, "just keeping making stuff all the time" kind of energy you have? It's very impressive and something I wish I could do!

well, theres a couple reasons i think! one is that i just found ways to be satisfied with small amounts of work. its in part because of my ADHD, but my parents were always trying new things (motorcycles, leatherwork, acrylic paint, collage art, photography, video editing) so that definitely rubbed off on me; i had a great example of people just wanting to try stuff. i keep making stuff all the time because i love trying out new things; you don't have to be an expert to try something new! you just have to have a desire for it! wanna make a zine? google it! wanna write a comic? give it a shot! wanna get into woodworking? buy a carving knife and find a stick or something! i think theres plenty of ways to find entry points into interesting stuff and you gotta let yourself be okay with making shit that sucks just because its fun. which leads me to my second point!!

im okay with being dogshit at stuff! i try new things, i kind of suck at them, and i think it's either 1. cool that i made it this far or 2. kinda funny that this is what its like at the moment. i know that sucking is never permanent, everything can be improved with time, and rarely does anyone ever magically get good at something first try. i think of myself as a talented artist, but its over the course of 2+ decades of drawing; im always improving, and no matter what im going to find things i want to get better at, so why fault myself now for not being perfect? a couple of months ago i really wanted to try woodcarving, so i made spoon with my dad. did it turn out great? not really! you cant even use it as a spoon! but im glad i tried it, it was fun, i had a great time with my dad, and now i know a little bit more going in next time. the idea that you have to be perfect or make tangible progress every single time you try something new is a recipe for burnout. i promise you, it doesnt matter if something doesn't come out like God's Gift to Humanity! Did you have fun? did you learn something? are you satisfied in some small part? good!

(pictured: tha spoon)

last, im just really easy to please myself! I'll make a doodle or implement an idle animation in my game or color a piece and go "wow! thats so cool i did that :)" and it really is just a matter of realizing that its fucking COOL to create stuff, no matter how small! whatever you made didn't exist before you, especially in your own unique way, and now it does! doesn't that rule?! i'm obsessed with it! even if its just a stick figure, its a stick figure you made, and it wasn't there before. thats fucking awesome!!! art is so cool!!!! i think that being happy with small goals and victories is a great way of trying out new things and showing off cool stuff u made, no matter what skill level. :) this turned into a whole big thing, but i hope this helps! tl;dr is try things if they seem fun, be okay with not being good at them, and find stuff about it that makes you happy or satisfied!

[snvffsoda]

headcanons for Ren, Strade, and Lawrence for how they are when driving! //bonus Celia!!

certified passenger princess if not the one driving

confirmed by Gato he's an average driver, but has gotten a ticket for running a red light before (he was trying to get to an anime merch shop to buy a rare figure before it was sold out)

turns his AC up all the way, but will turn it down if asked nicely

drives Strade’s old car, it has a citrusy fresh smell, with a hint of Strade's cheap cologne forever permeated into the vehicle itself

cleans his car every couple of months or so, but does tend to throw and leave his trash in the back seat, usually consisting of old Monster Energy cans and fast food bags

sings loudly to the music he listens to when driving but does get self-conscious and stop when in traffic or is being watched by other drivers

tends to speed when driving, and doesn't notice when he does, like he's always in a hurry when he is at the wheel

has anime stickers on his car window consisting of his favorite anime girls he knows its a bit corny, but he’ll defend that decision with his life if told by someone it is

forgets to use his turn singles sometimes

hates the sound of cars honking or blaring during busy traffic, it irritates his sensitive ears to no need

wanta a motorcycle, but can't afford one

better than Ren, but is still kind of reckless when he does drive

can and will drive over curbs and sidewalks when needing to make a tight turn

contradictory king, it comes to calling out other drivers mistakes on the wheel

listens to music extremely loud when he drives and doesn't turn it down when you're trying to talk with him

surprisingly takes very good care of his car, mostly to hold up a nice appearance to his neighbors, or to his unassuming victims who follow him into it

don’t touch his radio, he can and will get pissed.

acts like a dad when you turn on the indoor car light and freaks out about it

speeds when driving, notices, but doesn't really care

car sex, that is all.

named his car and speaks to it like it can hear and understand him

always knows some sort of back alley or sketchy shortcut to get out of traffic every time he's in it

will curse under his breath and sometimes go on mini rants about bad drivers when seeing them on the road or driving near them

can name almost every brand or type of car he sees when driving, definitely a bit of a car nerd deep down, but will never admit to it

has been caught drunk driving, but talked his way out of getting arrested by the cops and was let go scott-free

doesn't even enjoy driving in general, it gives him anxiety, and would prefer to walk if given the option

keeps a blanket and pillow in his car for when he drives out into the woods at night he’ll tend to sleep in his car when he does

has one of those mini solar dancing flowers on his dashboard

the safest driver out of them all, though he does drive a little too slow sometimes

when alone, he’ll punch at slam at his steering wheel when overwhelmed or extremely angry

keeps a plant in his cup holder and waters it regularly

doesn't listen to music when he drives, but will get nervous when driving with someone else and turn on the radio instinctively, so as to not sit in awkward silence

has hot-boxed in his car before

keeps a can of mace in his glovebox, but has never had to use it

loves the sound of rain hitting his car window when driving, and loves to fall asleep in his car when it rains outside because of it

passenger princess 2.0

Driving? you mean a limo?

jokes aside she's a decent driver, but doesn't like to drive herself places, but when she does, she usually gets where she needs to go without any trouble, that being said,

she's been pulled over for drunk driving many times, and has always paid off her tickets or bought a fancy lawyer to make all her DUI charges go away

never drives the same car twice

has argued and yelled with her husband Harold over the phone or with him in the car while driving and has received stares from passers-by before, she doesn't care though

does her makeup while driving when she's in a hurry or on a tight schedule, and is very good at it

honks her horn at bad drivers and flips them off when they pass, definitely the most outwardly aggressive, when driving out of them all

her cars are ALWAYS clean, almost unnaturally so

keeps a gun in her glove compartment and has never had to use it though stands by it that she does need it

has scratched her business enemies cars up, and threatened to run over her husband and the business associates she despises with her car multiple times

[felixify]

Chan , sitting infront of a camera , recoding : and then my 3 year old son ( Jeongin ) threw a tantrum because I wouldn't let him gauge out his eyes with a fork . So yeah , parenting is definitely fun . Have a kid today and find out

[ratskinsuit]

can I request a adhd!reader x any character (pls not Valentino or vox..) any gender

Hazbin Hotel Characters With An ADHD!Reader Headcannons

———————————————————————

A/N: Since I don’t get much info (I’m so sorry) I just decided to do heacanons. Now I don’t do mental disorder specific readers because I don’t wanna mess things up, but I personally have ADHD so I can do this. Although these may be self projecting a bit with my experience so I’m so sorry if it’s not okay.

———————————————————————

Charlie: Also has ADHD (Its just my personal headcanon, it may not be your personal one and that’s okay)

You two honestly can’t be together when you have something to do

Like you won’t get anything down when your together

Because the two of you just feed off each others energy and get distracted the entire time

Vaggie has to physically separate you two so you can focus

Forgetfulness

You could misplace you phone and ask her “Hey Charlie can you call my phone, I dunno where it is.”

And she will just be like “I don’t know where mine is either.” 😭

You two honestly share one single brain cell and switch it every other day (as an ADHD person I can confirm we do this with friends)

Vaggie: Keeps you focused

Okay so If you get distracted a lot she will be there yo try ti get you to focas

Mrs girl has fidgets and things to help you stay on tasks if they gel, if they don’t however,

Well she will try her best

Literally like the mother to you and Charlie so you two don’t do something stupid and he introuble

Melatonin is her best friend

If she can’t calm you down and it’s important, melatonin (unless you take medication)

She makes sure to keep track of all your stuff just incase you forget where you placed it

“Hey Vaggie, do you know where my-“

*Holds out your phone* it was on the kitchen counter

If you take medication (bcs for some people it lowers you appetite) she will remind you to eat.

Alastor: Doesn’t really understand; teases you

When you first tell him you have ADHD his old ass is just like

“Erm, my dear what’s that?”

Thinks you might be crazy till you explain

He honestly finds your energy and do-before-think attitude amusing

Does get pissed when he’s talking to you and you get distracted or forget what he was saying though

Finds it hilarious when Vaggie tries to get you to focus on things

Will finds diff ways to distract you, making it harder for Vaggie

Just enjoys the chaos of your energy

If you take medication for it he may or may not hide occasionally it just to see the chaos unfold (Before you come at me: he . Is . In . Hell . For . A . Reason)

Unless HE needs you to focas

Then you better be focused

Angel Dust: Loves hanging out with you

You two are probubly best friends fr

LOVES your energy because he finds it so fun

You two just go hang out and wander the streets, laughing and giggling together

He’s fine with the distracting and forgetfulness part, he knows it happens

Makes sure you eat. Eat or he will make you.

Honestly he’s just really understanding and knows that it’s hard for you to be able to control it

(Plz send best friend requests for him I did headcanons and I love writing best friend Angel)

While he does understand and love your energetic-ness, he also makes sure that you don’t act ok impulse TOO much

Like, stops you from making rash decisions that could hurt you in the future

Late night sleepovers

You two on the couch packing yourselves full of sugar and watching movies

Husk: Dies on the inside, also designated babysitter (Jkjk. Also I do realize that people with ADHD arnt children or stupid, this is just a reference to the energy)

Giving depressed dad energy

Like he’s just sitting at the bar cleaning up and your just talking at 50 miles per hour

He does however listen to the random things you say, he’s used to listening

Sometimes if you a bit chiller he will be able to follow along better and will input into the convo

Let’s you ramble and doesn’t mind the little quirks you have like interrupting him

He’s delt with worse

He has a alot of different stories, so if you have a lot of energy expect to be dropped off at the bar

His stories are exciting and can surprisingly keep most people’s attention for a while

He knows what it is but not the knowledgeable on it

But understands the basics on what it does and blah blah blah

Generally doesn’t mind the energy or the getting distracted, or the forgetfulness

Once again he’s delt with worse

Velvette: Somewhat gets it, gets pissy sometimes though

So she gets some of the “quirks”, like having a lot of energy, fidgeting, forgetfulness and getting distracted

If your her friend/partner she’s fine with it

She can deal with high energy and talking, she also talks very fast so she can keep up and keep a conversation

Finds different ways to keep you entertained so she can work if she can’t be in the moment

During parties she finds it hilarious

Doesn’t do the best with impulse control, she likes seeing what will happen and where it will go

Doesn’t mind the distractions unless she’s talking to you, then expects you to listen

However if you are one of her models or workers

She takes no excuses

You better pay attention and pay attention well

We all know she’s very demanding of her employees so you better hope she doesn’t notice you

Becwuse if she’s talking to you and get distracted or arnt paying attention…

My guy your fucked

———————————————————————

A/N: So this person asked for anybody but Vox or Valentino. But if anybody wants or if this does well I’ll make a pt 2 with them and more characters.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: I should make a fucking...(food) web of connected concepts with panels that connect them...

I love how Kabru is just part of this friend group, now. He invited himself and no one's questioning it. Laios invited him to lunch later, and that counts.

.

I love how everyone is varying levels of "oh fuck" until we get to The Current Party, where it's:

Senshi: thinking intently, a little grimly, about how he could butcher and cook this

Marcille: a dash of 'oh fuck', but also sad, in the way of watching a friend slide down a slippery slope

Chilchuck: incredible dad energy on this line, honestly.

.

don't you give my son orders, you piece of shit. you aren't worthy of being lord of anything. you protect nothing, wish to help no one, except your own desires. (The Demon never should've been alive at all. It's not suited to it.)

.

This is gonna look sooo cool animated in color.

.

I might actually be more offended by the demon wearing Kensuke like normal than by the whole wearing of Laios's body? It's so symbolic.

.

I want to know how the ancients achieved that - binding the demon such that, while underground, it could only warp reality in service to a living being's desires. Though really, that seems to be how it's always operated - the only desire it ever expressed for itself was to eat the desires of others. Otherwise, it's only shown fulfilling wishes, before it's locked in the dungeon as well as after.

But I wonder if having a physical form gives it the ability to want more? Does it hunger and third and want to rest, now? DOes it really feel a yearning not just for the completion of its plan, but for the open sky and sight of the world which it hasn't seen in so long?

.

Needless to say, we love a visual parallel.

.

yep, this sure is the Eating Each Other Cyclically chapter! (This is the Eating Each Other Cyclically story, actually. It's called the ecosystem!)

.

oh I hate this actually. It's scary in a real way. I do not like being forced to acknowledge that Chilchuck is much, much smaller, weaker and more fragile than Laios. I do not like seeing him curled up and helpless and unable to ever reconnect with his family.

.

Freak cubed! Actually, how many times has it gone back and forth, now...?

the lion swallowed all of them

Laios ate hte lion in order to swap bodies (ish)

honestly I feel like the demon being counts as eating him in turn. Making Laios's body part of itself, you know? That's eating.

(monster!)Laios ate demon(!Laios)

demon(!Laios) is now eating (monster!)Laios

...so, Freak^5

.

The parallel to Marcille snapping at Laios to drop the plant seeds in Chapter 2... Love how every now and then people resort to yelling at this man like he's a dog. Truly, he is a beagle of all time (eats Things) ('Things' is an unlimited category of which the details are best left unknown)

.

THIS IS IT, BITCHES! THESIS TIME!! I'M GONNA USE "IF AND ONLY IF LIKE IT'S A GODDAMN MATHEMATICAL PROOF, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THIS HAS BEEN PRESENTED THROUGHOUT!

LIVING IFF EATING IFF HUNGERING IFF WANTING.

TO DO ONE IS TO DO THEM ALL, FOR EVERY ENTITY IN EXISTENCE: EVERY RACE, EVERY CREATURE.

LIVING AND DYING, EATING AND KILLING AND BEING KILLED AND BEING EATEN, ARE ALL SIDES OF THE SAME COIN. YOU WILL DO BOTH.

IT'S CALLED THE ECOSYSTEM.

And it applies to social structures as well as biomes btw.

YOU WILL ALWAYS EAT, AND THEN YOU WILL ALWAYS HUNGER FOR THE NEXT MEAL. BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE.

Which is why hunger(/living) is poisonous to this infinite being, btw: the cycle is infinite, sure, but specifically because any single creature within the cycle is finite. To exist as part of the cycle, the world, breaks the infinite being, even as the infinite being inevitably destroys the world.)

But most of all:

EATING (IFF BEING EATEN IFF LIVING IFF WANTING) IFF UNDERSTANDING IFF BEING CONNECTED/BEING PART OF

THE FUNDAMENTAL [DESIRE/HUNGER/LIFE EXPERIENCE/CONNECTION/SHARED UNDERSTANDING] OF BEING ALIVE IN THIS WORLD IS [EATING/LIVING/DYING/KILLING/WANTING/HUNGERING/BEING CONNECTED/UNDERSTANDING OTHERS/BEING UNDERSTOOD/WANTING TO BE UNDERSTOOD/WANTING TO UNDERSTAND/WANTING TO BE CONNECTED]

...WHICH DOES ALSO INCLUDE (MONSTERFUCKER) VORE

(This is the fucking...Theseus wrestling the Minotaur statue...of this world... People are going to make this statue of King Laios Eating the Demon... It's going to be in museums...and in the palace... The true curse here is that Marcille is going to have to see versions of this motif for her entire excruciatingly long life...)

[mwahmimi]

I had a rough time growing up and ive never relaxed around anyone, i was wondering if maybe i could request a little thing with eddie where theyre cuddling and hes helping the reader relax and helping reader learn to trust him, that shes safe now, that she can let go.. nothing bads going to happen..

maybe alittle bit of subspace too?

And she tells eddie that she loves him while shes all doughy eyed and relaxed ❤

Softly and slowly. Eddie Munson x female reader. Angst/fluff. Blurb.

Ty for your request, I hope this is okay. It’s a bit self indulgent but I hope it helps you feel better. My DMs are open if you ever need to speak to someone impartial<3

“You’re okay. No need to worry doll. You think anyone’s gonna hurt you? No chance. They’ll have to get through me, and do you think anyone’s gonna try and fight the freak? Nah. They’re scared of me. So you, little princess, are so safe here.” Eddie mutters, breathing his words into your ear as you lay on his chest. His hair curling over your forehead, he looks down at you with a reassuring smile. You knew you belonged to him. He never treated you like his property, but like you were the most precious crystal he’d ever found. As if you were washed up on the shore just for him to find and polish.

“I promise you. I got you.” His smile beaming from ear to ear, your heartbeat begins to slow and return to its normal pace. Something about being on Eddie’s chest became the most comforting thing for you. It’s like when a baby is born and they lay on their parents chests almost immediately after, soothing the crying to a holt. With your father absent for most of your life, the daddy issues really came to life when you met Eddie. The sort of guy you’d bring home to your parents to piss them off, I mean look at him. A metal head, a stoner, tattoos and in a band called “Corroded Coffin.” You knew your mom wouldn’t approve, she barely approved of you. Always criticising everything you did, putting you down at every given opportunity. But Eddie? He was almost paternal to you.

“They can’t hurt you anymore.” He whispers, running his hands through your hair, scratching at your scalp. His hands massaging your head melted away all of the thoughts, all of the trauma memories that came to light in the panic attack. Eddie knew your past, he wasn’t the sort of “don’t kill yourself you’re so sexy!” Or “don’t do it again.. for me?” Whilst rubbing your scarred skin kind of guy. He was patient, it took years for you to open up to him and he waited. Never pushed for information, never tried to force you to open up about your childhood. He just comforted you, held your hand through the panic attacks, cuddled you through your nightmares and sat in the therapy office waiting room for you every Thursday while you worked on yourself.

“I’m here for you.” He kisses your forehead. The act is so simple yet so intimate. He was right too. He was there for you. He sat with you for hours at skull rock when you got the news that the dad that left you when you were just seven years old had passed away. He was there for you when you were finally diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder, and he wiped every single tear that fell down your cheek. But the best part was, he never expected anything in return. Eddie never tried to cash in on his emotional support to you with sexual favours. He didn’t see you as a doll that you could use when you wanted her. He saw you for who you were, a little damaged but a huge heart with so much love to give.

“Nothing bad is gonna happen to you now baby.” Eddie mumbled as he cradled you, swaying your body from side to side. You let yourself breathe, the breath came out harshly. Mustering up all of the energy you have left to lift your chin up from his tattooed chest, your head feeling a little hazy from the second hand smoke of his joint. You see him, half smiling and brushing the hair from your face behind your ears.

“I love you.” Your voice was breathy and insecure but you knew you meant your words. They didn’t come from your throat, but from the depths of your heart. You lean in, planting a gentle peck on his lips, feeling him smile against you before he agreed, “I love you too.” He’s honey-eyed and his facial expression so gooey and soft for you. Time slows as you stare at each other, so innocently in love with each other. He loves you gently, softly and carefully. You know your heart is safe with him.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Your wish is my command!

(There's less comfort here and more hurt than I planned, and then the sexual tension snuck in, oh my ...)

A deal with the devil

Rated: T

Words: 980

Tags: Pirate AU; Pirate Eddie; castaway Steve; Billy Hargrove being an asshole; Steve Harrington whump; dehydration; non-consensual bondage; sexual tension; sexual innuendo

The water runs out before the first day is through.

They gave him a single skin of it. That, and a blunt knife to ward off the sharks.

“To tide you over until you find land or a kind soul to aid you,” Hargrove winked, patting his cheek as the boat began to lower. “I'm not a monster, pretty boy.”

Steve said nothing. There is no land for hundreds of miles. They passed the last ship three days ago. They both knew this.

He refused to touch the water at first, even as the sun burnt his skin and his tongue began to feel like a piece of cotton in his mouth. He knew it would only prolong the inevitable. But the human instinct for survival is a dumb thing, and with the sun at its zenith and the ocean blurring into the sky all around him, he eventually pressed the skin to his cracked lips, emptying it with three greedy gulps.

He doesn’t know how long ago that was. It feels like weeks, even though the rational part of him knows it can't have been more than a day or two. He's been drifting in and out of consciousness, though, and it's hard to tell.

Not like it matters, he thinks, staring up at the deadly white disk overhead. He should shut his lids against the glare, but he can't even muster the energy to blink. His eyes should water from the light, but there's no liquid left in him. All he can do is lie here and hope that it will be quick now.

He slips into dreams. Voices filling his ears. A cold shadow enveloping him. Hands cradling him, combing sweat-soaked hair from his forehead. Dark hair billowing around a pale, pretty face, like seaweed. A siren come to pull him into the depths, he thinks deliriously, to drag him into his wet grave and devour his flesh.

He doesn't mind.

It will be cool under the sea.

*

When he opens his eyes again, he's confused at first. Purgatory looks a lot different from what he expected. He thought there'd be fire, not linen pillows and brocade curtains. He also thought it'd smell like smoke and burning skin, not like wood and sea salt and gunpowder.

Steve shoots up with a strangled shout. The wet cloth on his forehead slips and lands next to the bed.

He's not in purgatory. He's on a ship. In the captain's quarters, if the curtained bed and lush carpets are anything to go by.

He's also been cuffed to the bed by one wrist.

His free hand instinctively gropes for the knife in his boot, only to find that it's gone.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.”

He freezes.

There's a man in the armchair beside the bed. Steve didn’t notice him before, because he was reclining into the cushions, but now he's leaning forward, dark eyes watching Steve from under a wide-brimmed hat. The rings on his fingers glint as he stacks his hands, resting his chin on them. Balanced between his fingers is the knife.

“That's mine,” Steve blurts. “Give it back.”

The man laughs.

“I saved your life out there, darling, be a little more grateful. I usually take a lot more from the vessels I encounter.”

Steve's stomach drops. Because now that the fog is slowly lifting from his mind, the man looks familiar. He's seen that face before, staring back at him from wanted posters in port towns.

“You're Edward Munson,” he mutters. “The pirate.”

“That's me,” Munson swoops into a bow. “Welcome aboard the Hellfire. Now, who do I have the pleasure with?”

Steve bites his bottom lip. That grin goes just a little wider.

“Nevermind,” Munson purrs. “I think I know.”

Steve remains silent, hoping the hammering of his racing heart will not betray him.

“The Marines are looking for a boy matching your description,” Munson continues, cleaning his nails with the knife. “Governor's son. Made off with one of daddy's ships to play pirates, it's the talk of-”

“No idea what you mean,” Steve snaps. “I'm a simple sailor who was in a shipwreck, I-”

Munson scoffs. “Alright then, sailor. Tell me why I shouldn't just turn you over? That reward is handsome, I could make good use of it.”

“Except you won't,” Steve says, and now it's his turn to measure the other man with a smug smile. “Can't spend that money without a head.”

Munson sighs.

“I just want a nice, easy life,” he whines theatrically. “What's wrong with that? You rob a few ships, seize a treasure or two, and suddenly people are out for your life. And yet, somehow, I am the abominable one here, imagine that!”

Steve stares at him. Munson clears his throat.

“Anyhow,” he then says. “Don't think I'll let you laze around in my bed forever. You want to stay, you apply yourself like everybody else.”

Steve wants to tell him to go fuck himself, but somehow that doesn't seem smart. Not with his only weapon in the guy's hand and nothing but water around them for days.

“Fine,” he grumbles. “I'll apply myself. I can mop the deck, help out in the kitchen, whatever you-”

Munson waves him off. “Nah, I got people for that.”

Steve scowls. “Then what-”

One ring-clad hand touches his jaw and the words die on his tongue.

“Don't worry, sweetheart,” Munson winks at him. “We'll find something for you to do. Something to make my life just a little bit nicer and easier, right?”

Steve bites his tongue so hard he tastes copper, and nods. He only needs to hold out until they get to land and he can figure out a way to get his ship back.

If he needs to sell his soul to the Devil of the Hellfire to accomplish that, so be it.

Something, something, they fuck about it, fall in love, kick Billy's ass and take back Steve's ship, they become pirate husbands, the end.

More celebration ficlets

[amuseoffyre]

@triflesandparsnips made a rather spiffy observation on my post about Ed and face-touching:

It may be worthwhile, considering how much face/mouth violence Ed is sensitive to -- and when we see or hear about it -- to do a review of how much of that face sensitivity is also associated with food and eating.

And hooboy, I ended up down a rabbithole thinking about Ed and food and it got so long, it earned itself its own little post.

These are all the food/eating related moments that tie in directly to Ed having strong emotional responses. I didn't limit it to just the face-touching because there's a lot of emotional mess going on as well.

When Stede wakes him for brekkie in 1x04, he recoils immediately as he wakes, until he realises who's beside him (especially pertinent since Ed wakes in 2x03 and asks if anything was done to him while he was unconscious - he even anticipates harm while sleeping).

in 1x05, when he's being taught the intricacies of dining and the French captain slaps on his big red trauma button while he's sitting at a dining table and already feeling out of his depth with all the tablewear.

Cut to the flashback in 1x05 which has him and his mum talking quietly in one part of the room, but his father is there, slumped and drunk on the family dining table, setting the domestic sphere as a place of constant present threat.

Later in 1x05, when he's alone at the party, he's freaking out over not knowing how to deal with this kind of fancy-folk dining and then someone touches his face - double-whammy of the emotional stuff and the physical.

1x06 gives us the main flashback to his childhood and his father's violent reaction to 'slop' and 1x07 has stressed, out-of-his-comfort-zone hangry Ed, trying desperately to keep up the Blackbeard appearance ("Blackbeard can't be seen treasure hunting!") and again, something touches his body/head unexpectedly and he lashes out defensively.

There is so much going on in the brekkie scene that I can't even get into it here. Ed trying to code-switch between the way he interacts with Stede and Jack respectively, but most significantly, when Jack talks over him and ignores him trying to change the subject about violence he's done in the past, Ed shrinks down in the chair, doing the small-and-quiet thing he does when he's unhappy (one day I will yell about Ed taking refuge surrounding himself with gold/yellow things - blankets, chairs, robes, pillowforts. His version of the battle jacket).

1x10 has several moments. First is the marmalade - there's something child-like about the blanket fort and eating sweet sticky things with his fingers, taking comfort in food and hiding.

The second is something that is viscerally explained in S2 - when he forcefeeds Izzy his own toe. The contrast of the brutality and the very paternal "now don't forget to chew" like an adult talking to a child gave me chills the first time I watched it.

The last thing in 1x10 isn't necessarily food, but hooooboy there is something in the way he sets himself up at what was Stede's brekkie table, putting on the worst of personas possible, that is very much reminding me of his dad at the table in a bare, empty home, lit by a single candle, in that first flashback.

And now, into S2, and our man starts things in a totally healthy and normal way - eating the cake with his weapon. And, more importantly, "did everybody get cake?" Again, we have the juxtaposition of implicitly care-taking language against the surrounding violence and brutality.

The gravy basket tells us so much as well - he wakes up to the horror of being vulnerable, trapped by his own body and force-fed by someone who we learn had a habit of forcefeeding live crabs to people and who had threatened to flay Ed's skin off and feed it to him. He's rightfully afraid that anything Hornigold feeds him might be poisoned.

Once again, we have the parental energy of "open up for the cargo ship" tangled up with the fear of threat and violence and horror - poisoning, flaying and force-feeding.

Ed's fear has the two utterly bound up together, inescapably so. His father shaped his childhood and Hornigold stepped into that role when Ed became an outlaw.

But even in this messy and horrifying confrontation with his own psyche and layered up with the horrors he's lived through as a boy, some part of Ed still desperately wants the comfort and security of food and home, especially when the food his subconscious is gathering for him are the ingredients for Māori boil-up, something his mother would very likely have made for them.

It speaks measures that the three things he wants to live for include good food and warmth and orgasms. No fame. No glory. No reputation. Just to be loved and safe and warm and fed.

Jump forward to 2x04 and dinner with Bonny and Read. Ed is unsurprised by the degree of violence happening throughout, but does hesitate when poison comes into the equation - "I got the present you left for me in my glass" - Ed immediately sets down his glass, staring at it warily. Again, calling back to the Gravy Basket and his fear that anything given to him might be poisoned.

He's already on edge and off-balance - "not sure what's real and what's the basket" and there may or may not be poison and knives and the person he trusted may or may not betray him again and he's already spinning out when Anne - who had already declared her intention to provoke Ed and Mary - cheerfully lands the bombshell of why Stede left him.

No small wonder he storms out of the room, but it does lead to them having a much-needed conversation and he and Stede are on a much steadier footing after.

And then, of course, we have the breakfast of 2x07. This one is especially significant because Ed makes the brekkie then disposes of his leathers. He's actively trying to step from one mode of life to another, from the Blackbeard-and-Piracy into the domestic, softer life he's been quietly craving his entire life.

Only, as he says himself, "I don't think I've ever made regular breakfast for anyone before". He's trying, but it's something new and unfamiliar to him and it's "my way of saying thank you".

And lastly, we have the scene with the fisherman and his son where Ed has shoe-horned himself into what he thinks is the solution to all his problems and also includes a father-son dynamic, because our man can't do anything without his daddy issues rearing their ugly head.

Once again, Ed is out of his depth, but at the opposite end of the scale from the party ship. This is a place he thinks he should fit but he doesn't. This is the domesticity he craved, but without understanding or appreciating the real work that is needed to get there.

And once again, over a meal, he has an angry father expressing violence. "Control your pop-pop!" he tells the boy who is around the same age as he was when he killed his father. But he doesn't fight back, he doesn't strike out at Pop-pop, and the son steps between them and pulls his dad back several times.

And it's this father-figure's words that ring in Ed's ears when he realises Stede may be in danger. "If you were ever good at anything, do that". And if there's one thing Ed Teach is good at, it's fighting for the people he loves.

In conclusion our Mr. Teach wants a safe and comfortable home-life, with food and warmth (and orgasms), but he has no real experience of what that is really like or how to get it. His entire life has been a succession of threats and danger and men who would do harm to people in their charge, especially when they were unarmed, defenceless and vulnerable.

He doesn't know how to be safe yet, because he's never experienced it. All he's known until this point is a life of violence and danger and while he tried to move away from that, the violence and danger was still there - as Stede put it, there's no escaping it in their line of work.

But now, at the end of S2, for the first time in his life, he is actually able to say "No, I need to be away from piracy" because his whole journey through both seasons has been him trying and trying to step away from the life that has him by the throat.

And now, he's finally been able to do it and he's not alone. He has someone he's safe with and who is willing to do the work with him to help him figure things out. And give him good food, warmth and, of course, orgasms.