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leahrintarou · 11 months

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can you please please please please pretty please with a cherry on top write a smut fic with a mean dom kita, but he still showers you in touches and fulfills your needs ? just like …… please make him so dirty, filthy mouth mean, and depraveddddd i NEED himmmmm (oh and breeding kink might fit in here too oops :D)

🎃 Kita Shinsuke - Hard Dom

Warnings: hard!dom kita x fem reader, jealousy, fem bodied reader, mentions of kita looking at other women, penetration/stimulation, barely noticeable breeding kink lol, im not used to writing hard dom guys so um i hope i did a lil sum sum with this lmao

Word Count: 1.9k

kita's hand increasingly squeezed the plush of her thigh, daunting her with her inability to focus solely on the screen. tighter it got, as every jumpscare played out. their living room was dim, the television sharply breaking the lack of light with warm and gray-scaled radiance. flashes of images spouting from its glint. her legs were enclosed around her boyfriend’s infiltrating digits with what she thought was an innocent gesture; though, unbeknownst, it soon came to be much more.

their night started off rather uneventfully, as their exhaustion made itself apparent from their long day out with friends. walking around aimlessly was the one thing that fuelled the drag, but not without feelings of isolation. With the pairing of cold shoulders accompanied by prolonged silent treatments, y/n didn’t dare confront kita with her mindfulness of when his gaze lingered on the faces of some of the women in their friend group. 'It's just basic manners of eye contact; he’s not doing anything wrong' is what she would relentlessly repeat to herself.

even though she'd try to convince herself that her boyfriend was never the type to do such a thing, his friendliness would counteract her ideas of hope with doubtfulness. kita noticed how she'd loosen the grip between their interlocked fingers whenever he'd share a laugh with one of the girls. how her smile would falter when he turned his head to converse with them. though this detail was small, he still picked up on how y/n would have him repeat his sentences because she 'didn't hear' him, even though they were within a finger’s reach of each other. all she craved was his attention, even if it were to be extended by a second.

tensions clouded their drive back home. in an attempt to swat away the fog, they mutually agreed to watch a newly released horror movie in the silent hopes of easing their obvious discomfort. kita began to develop the trait of learning to hide his emotions, which would prove beneficial to his volleyball team as it kept the opposing side guessing what course of action he’d take. Though, as they say, opposites attract. Someone could tell how y/n was feeling from miles away due to her expressive body language. nevertheless, as they sat together on the couch, whether or not y/n relished it, the way she leaned in closer to kita's person as his digits danced against her skin, kita had no trouble being able to read her true, undisclosed feelings.

y/n finally turned her head, breaking the session of excruciating silence and giving kita a lustful glare before placing eager kisses on the crook of his neck. despite the shower that he'd taken just minutes prior, the now-faint scent of his cologne still lingered within the pores of his skin, which she so desperately wanted to bury herself in.

one thing, of course, led to another, and that's what brought them here. kita's hands made restless motions of pleasure with the inserting motions of his digits in and out of her sex. y/n was already becoming a breathless mess at his lack of mercy with her. already coming to her high at least twice already; however, kita was seemingly unpleased. his eyes lingered on the screen of the tv while y/n hugged his arm to try and ground herself to reality while next to him. he forced her to keep her legs spread because if she were to do otherwise...

"i'll stop everything completely."

he said, his eyes still on the TV as he seemed dazed. y/n let out moans as his palm would slightly graze over her bud every once in a while. was he doing this on purpose? of course. did y/n have to know that? absolutely not. and even if she did, it would be the least of her worries since now the movie was coming to an end, which means that kita's attention was now fully focused on y/n. this might've sounded like a good thing a bit earlier in her day, but right now she knew that kita would observe the entirety of her while putting every damn thing on either of their bodies to good use.

"shin, 'm s-sensetive. slow down for a sec-" her voice faltered with every other word. it was a sight to see, to say the least, and while kita knew he had the ability to follow through with her request, what was the fun in that? he smiled, leaning closer to her ear before placing a kiss on her temple. "why should I? my sweet angel was just complaining about how I gave my attention to other girls, and now she can't handle what she asked for." y/n let out a whine when he fixed his wrist to reach even further inside her. "you're being ungrateful, sweetheart."

kita used his thumb to now give her aching bud more of the attention that he spoke of prior. y/n was immediately sent over the edge at the overwhelming feeling, and the heavy moan that fell along with it was music to kita's ears. his lips wore a smirk of satisfaction when her legs shivered, desperately trying to stay in place as his previous warning was in the back of her mind. "those thoughts of yours can be really stupid sometimes, y/n." he says, his fingers slowing to a pace that would be bearable for her in her state of sensitivity. y/n noticed and was grateful for this gesture of his.

kita used her freehand to sturdily grip y/n's jaw, forcing her to lock eyes with him. "say it, y/n." he started, his eyes flickering down to her sex as he spoke his next words. "say that you're a stupid girl who lets this aching hole think for her." his fingers entered her sex a bit roughly, making y/n wince from the sensitivity. y/n's eyes glossed with unrecognizable and uncontrollable emotion. kita smiled slightly when her legs fluttered closely around his hand. he watched intently, looking back up at y/n with daring eyes that silently said, "close them and you'll realize that I meant what I said, earlier." even despite her many releases, she didn't feel all that satisfied, so she forced herself to think of something else. well, tried to at least.

all she could mutter was, "you're so mean, shin.." y/n whined with a slightly visible pout on her lips. kita released y/n's jaw from his hold as he watched her let out a breath from the action. he quirked an eyebrow, watching y/n's sex as he slowly removed his fingers from her at a slow pace. her arousal coated his digits and leaked down the back of his hand and palm as he held it up in front of both of their opposing faces. "am I, sweetheart?"

y/n was reluctant to give an audible answer, so she sufficed with a nod. "i just don't want that thought crossing this empty head of yours again." he laughed, his tongue skillfully catching the traveling arousal that'd made its way to his wrist. "i'll give you what you asked for, and you're going to take every ounce, got it?" he said, using the pads of his middle and ring finger to swipe a bit of her own arousal onto her bottom lip. he leaned in for a sloppily shared kiss, and as he pulled back, his freehand ran down her abdomen before stopping just barely under her belly button. he pressed into the area slightly, y/n shivering at the bitter temperature of his finger tips.

"is this where you wanna feel me, sweetheart?"

he asked, gently trailing his fingers further up, now stopping above her belly button and below her sternum. "or do you wanna feel me here?" y/n let out a whimper when he pressed into the area with much more force this time. "can you take all of me, angel?" y/n nodded eagerly at his words. kita wasted no time pulling his bottoms down to his thighs, revealing his erected member. y/n knew kita wasn't the type to come apart as quickly as his endurance allowed him to go on for hours.

he quickly placed his hands on her hips, lifting her to straddle his lap instead. he knew y/n was still sensitive, but that made it all the better for his chance of pushing her over the edge. y/n felt tears prick her eyes with a sting as he shifted her to swifly allow her to slide down onto the entirety of his member. kita let out a low groan that almost made y/n tip over the edge.

he found the whole situation pleasing, and as he admired her pleasure-filled features, he lifted her hips slowly before allowing her to fall back down, her thighs meeting with his own bare lap. he continued these motions, seemingly getting off from the friction, of course, but the way y/n reacted to every touch was just as arousing as ever. her whines met with the crook of his neck, and even as she tried to kiss him to muffle her sounds, he pulled back so he'd be able to hear every indication of her climax approaching once more. y/n was obviously displeased by his teasing, but she couldn’t worry anymore about that when he spoke, startling her just a bit.

"if you wanna cum, you gotta do it yourself, sweetheart," he smiled, and with that, he let go of her hips and instead rested his hands on the sides of her thighs. y/n's legs were practically burning, and she knew that he was dead serious, so she mustered up the limited amount of energy that was only being fueled by her pure desire to push herself away from his member, only to meet with his lap once again. kita watched intently, admiring where their bodies connected, letting out a stringy moan at the sight of his girl. y/n was nearing her high, and it was obvious when she gripped the fabric of his shirt with force. "do you want it inside of you, angel?" he questioned, following her lolling head as the energy was being drawn from her being with every movement of hers.

her eyes widened as kita hurriedly awaited an answer. she honestly didn't know whether to say yes or no. ultimately, though, it was never her choice. her body agreed with the first option. "speak up, y/n. i need you to talk to me." his voice was comforting and calm, and y/n knew this was his way of easing any pressure that she might've felt. Momentarily after, she nodded, kita quirking his brow, unsatisfied with her lack of audibility. "with your voice, sweetheart."

she let out a whine of his name before following out with his request. kita gave into his pity felt for y/n, once again firmly gripping her hips to aid her in riding out her approaching climax. they let out synchronized sounds of pleasure as their highs finally approached one another. y/n panted heavily, breath fanning kita's cheek as he admired the slight jolts of pleasure that continued to coarse throughout her body. his warm arousal settled in her sex as kita pulled her to his chest, placing a kiss on her shoulder.

"was i too mean for you, angel?" he teased, letting out a small laugh as she nodded to his words. "then how should I receive your forgiveness?" with that, she lifted her head, already knowing the intentions behind his words. "shinsuke, I'm tired-" she mumbled with a groan.

"how about a two-minute break then?"

"just...TWO MINUTES?"

I HOPE U ENJOYED THIS, IT WAS A LAST RESORT CHAPTER FOR KINKTOBER THIS YEAR :) !!

Taglist: @meowmeowmau @jiwooahae @sunaemoby @diana7was7here @msbyomimi @chocoweird0 @riiceandsoup @issllaaa

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shitouttabuck · 11 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 thank u bud i’m procrastinating packing and this was fun

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

seven!

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

129,484 which is a fake number to me

3. what fandoms do you write for?

nothing has made me as insane in my life as network television procedural drama 911 on abc, so

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you can start a family who will always show you love

let the world have its way with you

my hearts over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance

like a dog with a bird at your door

i like the summer rain (i like the sounds you make)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try very hard to because they make me so happy and it’s unbelievably kind of people to take the time to leave them!!! However i sometimes leave it too long and then worry it’s weird to reply after like. a month. which as a fic reader i wouldn’t give a shit about so idk what my problem is!!!! i will reply i will just maybe take a hot sec to do it

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t have any i’m a happily ever after or bust kinda guy in my own head if nowhere else…… angstiest is probably the sound of love astounds me if only because it ends post-feelings realisation but still pre-relationship

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they’re all so happy omg. i will say with great personal bias it’s my heart’s over-pumping but also i have. a sequel in the works….

8. do you get hate on fics?

no people have been very very very lovely but also sjjsjsjs i’ve not been here super long. the funniest comment i’ve gotten was on my first fic where someone was like i liked this but it is jarringly inaccurate as mcdonald’s in california doesn’t have a veggie burger option 😭 i cried laughing im so sorry to u americans. pls petition your local mcdonald’s to stock the mcplant it slaps

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

have written two e-rated fics….. it’s very fun but i don’t think i’m very good so i’d like to practice actually (maybe some sexy prompts after i finish the bed-sharing ones?) just the regular kind for now like i love buck and eddie desperately and am myself into a million things but i don’t know how kinky they would actually get in my own head. so just a little gross with it for now i guess

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no that would be SICK. @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove is podficcing bucket list fic which is so very cool of her!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no omg i don’t know how y’all do it i’m bad at group projects but also this sounds soooooo fun. if also deeply stressful

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

if that’s synonymous with most likely to get you institutionalised, uh. gestures around us. otherwise mulder/scully and i am just now right as i’m typing this realising i’ve never ever in my life actually read x files fic what the fuck. also steve/bucky but i haven’t read fic since 2017 probably

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

listen i have not written a word for x files au past that one snip i shared forever ago. i want to soooo bad i’ve talked about it to some of you very rabidly but. it does not want to be written and if it did it would have to be so fucking long which is very daunting to me. not saying i’ve put her in the ground yet but. we might need some necromancing

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at writing in character? mostly? sometimes i struggle with buck just because i think we’re very similar and i project a little and then have to go back and fix it lmao but for the most part i think i’m good at that! and i have a lot of fun writing dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

plot!!!!!! and pacing!!!!!!!!!!! also my inability to write non-linearly omg if i get stuck i just get Stuck i can’t jump ahead

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

oooh i love it and would love to include more than the teeniest bits i have but i’m so conscious about it sounding natural and not stiff to people whose language it actually is (shout out and a million kisses to @eddiebabygirldiaz for fixing the spanish in i love you like a dog!!!!!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

911 babey!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance !!! not just because it was the first fic i posted after joining tumblr fandom but. idk it is so so so special to me like it makes me so happy and when i think about it i’m like. hey u wrote that. good for u my dude. and also maybe i just associate it with meeting a bunch of you whjsjssjsj

tagging @callaplums @eddiebabygirldiaz @housewifebuck @rewritetheending @try-set-me-on-fire @onward--upward @anxieteandbiscuits @devirnis @athenagranted if anyone wants to do this i’m nosy soz if you already have !!!!

#tag game #if you see me posting later today. send me hate mail i need to pack

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morbidshay · 4 months

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5/24/24

Hi, good morning. let's just jump right in:

new rover house, old 1900 farmhouse ( do what you will with that info). It's gorgeous and large.

My first night here, my body received a fever and some other sickly ailments, but I prospered.

Tarot is so silly. Pulled the hierophant reversed - representing nonconformity to traditional views. I was able to apply that to my life in many ways. Just last night, my partner, was answering my daunting what if questions. I posed one to them after they mentioned liking me for me. I said that the concept of me is ever changing so how do they navigate that? they responded that we are made out of the same stuff, whatever god put in us or stardust, or just human, but its the same stuff. I couldn't register much of what they had said last night, but sitting here thinking of it, I am riddled with traditional views of love. I think it contributes to how I give and receive love. even though all of the examples from these traditional views end in disaster. point is - my love and I are anything but conventional, everything but traditional. We are here by going against the grain. anyway, words fail me, take what you can get.

I also pulled a burning bowl ritual from the self care deck and I found that interesting because a burning bowl is about letting go, and tonight is a full moon which is also about letting go. I just think things are so much more synchronized than I can even begin to understand.

oh my therapist dropped me. She asked me questions of basic human needs, are you eating, are you sleeping? I responded yes to most, she then said that I'm moving through day to day without crisis and congratulated me, then asked how I feel about still receiving services. I said I was good without. SO technically she didn't drop me but she gave me an out, I am not too upset because I do think we gave each other all we could give and it is time to move on.

I feel like I lack empathy or can only have bad feelings?

My favorite pastime of recent is convincing myself there are others in my brain and then completely denying anyone's existence at all, help.

I am weaning off of mirtazapine, tonight is my last night on half a tablet, had no issues so far. I liked that it helped with my depression symptoms but eventually the bad outweighed the good, by the three week mark, I get anxiety again and my huge appetite (uncontrollable) makes me feel sick.

I guess that is all for now, sometimes I want to go deeper and explain everything possibly going through my brain, but I would be typing forever. I would really enjoy knowing about your Friday? share with me? show me a doodle you doodled? show me your cat? talk about a new book your reading? I just want some friends lmao

#personal #journal #mental health #mirtazapine #lithium #osdd community #plural community #did community #ocd community #autism community #empathy #tarot cards #full moon #long distance love

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deadpoetsmuses · 3 years

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"inspiration". | neil perry, dps.

in which a summer is spent with the poets, with a significant feature of neil perry.

✧ title: "inspiration".

✧ pairing: neil perry x fem!reader.

✧ genre: fluff, with slight mentions of angst.

✧ word count: 2,733.

✧ warnings: written in headcanon format, home life mentions, the reader lives in meeks' grandma's house, knox being a simp for chris.

✦ author’s note: requested by @mybabysweetascanbe! it's kinda funky how i wrote this as a headcanon but it still ended up being my longest fic lmao. also i wrote the poem that neil made for the reader myself so i'm sorry if it's kinda cheesy 🗿 but i hope you all enjoy this one !! don't forget to take care of yourselves guys <3

✎ The summer holidays had always been a time for the poets’ relief.

✎ Their academic year was constantly filled with difficulties for the poets, but it was harder for some when they were home for the summer.

✎ Neil felt as though he couldn’t be himself-- he loved reading and writing even more so than he did with accomplishing any of his parents’ wishes, like heading into medical school. He especially loved to act, and it was rough to keep that concealed around his dictatorial father.

✎ Todd’s older brother would be at home as well, and it was worse enough being in his shadow; but it had gotten worse with every one of his parents’ daily proclamations.

“We were quite disappointed with your grades from last semester, son,” His father reprimanded, looking down on him with stern eyes. “I just don’t understand what’s gotten into you. Your mother and I raised you quite well and you have your brother to guide you along. You know that he’s remarkably intelligent and well accomplished. Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

✎ Charlie and Knox had been just like Neil. The constant pressure that their parents put on them about becoming a banker and a lawyer was daunting; and all they wanted was to simply live as regular teenagers without concern for their future.

✎ Fortunately, Meeks’ grandmother was a woman who had a colossal and motherly love for the poets with a sizable residence in which her grandson’s friends could inhabit during their vacation.

✎ Thus, the poets resided in the Meeks household in the summer before their senior year so as to escape the stress and troubles brought to them in their own homes.

✎ Even though the summer was fleeting and their time was short, the poets found their time to be everlasting when they met the student boarder of the house.

✎ She went by the name of Y/N, which was a name that sounded just as sweet as the lady to whom it was attached.

“Hello, everybody! I’m Y/N!” The girl said, reaching out her hand to shake one of the poets’. Truth be told, it had been quite some time since any one of the boys had been in close contact with a woman; so they found themselves to be quite the martians in the situation. It took a few moments before one of the poets-- Neil Perry-- could offer his hand and shake hers. “I’m Neil! We’re friends of Meeks and his classmates from Welton.” The boy swore that he felt a spark as their fingertips touched, but he tossed the feeling aside; along with the apparition that he saw of a faint glimmer in Y/N’s eyes.

✎ The boys instantly took her in to their little group, and they all fell in love with her personality-- which was a platonic statement of course; but Neil Perry found this to be otherwise as he actually began falling into love with the new girl.

✎ He loved the way she cared for her new friends, the way she projected her personality through the clothes she wore, and all of the little smiles she gave him.

✎ With every beam and twinkle that she delivered, Y/N found herself to be falling for Neil as well.

✎ He provided a feeling for her that made the blacks of her eyes expand and butterflies to quiver inside-- which was the very same one Neil had felt when he first laid his eyes on her.

✎ She had been a fantastic addition to the band of poets, and the boys could not have had it any other way.

Despite the summer coming into fruition, the poets did not fail to meet up in their little cave every once in a while to read poetry, discuss girls, and laugh. The first meeting of that summer was simply like any other. “Guys, what do we think of Y/N?” Meeks questioned. A clamor of answers that ranged between “I think she’s great,” and “Do you think Mrs. Meeks has any more people in her house like Y/N?” echoed in the dark cave. Clearly, the boys had favored Y/N; but certainly not to the point where they’d be infatuated with her. “Yeah, I think she’s nice. She’s really pretty too,” Knox added. “Woah there Knoxious,” Charlie replied, expelling out a chortle. “I don’t think Chris would like to hear that. And besides, she looks more like she’s Neil’s type than yours.” Charlie’s words weren’t incorrect, but it was needless to say that Neil had strongly agreed with that statement.

✎ Over the summer, they would all begin to get to know each other better.

✎ The poets eventually introduced Y/N to the intricate realm of poetry, and she wholeheartedly fell in love with every line that was recited.

✎ They enjoyed every moment of their fleeting time together. Of course, there would be times where the boys would get into small fights and bickers.

✎ Pitts would always be yelling at Charlie for taking an ungodly amount of time in the shower, while Charlie would be yelling back about how Pitts always seemed to inhale the food that Mrs. Meeks provided for them before he himself could even take one bite.

✎ Cameron did his best to do some summer reading at night, but he found it quite hard as his room was beside Knox’s room, and Knox would spend hours on end talking to Chris over the phone.

“Oh, Chris. How do I love thee?” Knox sighed, lacing the telephone cords in between his fingers. “That’s the title of a poem we learned in Mr. Keating’s class. It reminds me of how lovely you are. Of course, she’s not as pretty as you are,” Knox’s giggles not only erupted through the phone; but it travelled through the walls as well, disrupting Cameron from the climax of his novel. “We get it, Knox! You’re a romantic poet! Now why don’t you go tell Chris about how you finished with a D minus in English!”

✎ While all of the little squabbles took place, they hadn’t even noticed the slight change in Neil and Y/N’s behavior.

✎ Y/N seemed to be keeping to herself more often, while Neil appeared to have possessed an undying smile on his face around the poets; particularly in the mornings when everyone gets up early except for him and Y/N.

✎ Little did they know, Y/N’s room had been vacant for the past few days since the arguments began-- which was approximately three weeks after the boys had arrived to the Meeks’ residence; and Neil seemed to be giggling in his room every night when the rest were asleep.

✎ In the duration of those three weeks, Neil had become more familiar with Y/N than any of the other poets had been.

✎ They’d walk along the nearby river every morning, discuss poetry in the late afternoons, and eventually fall asleep in each other’s arms at night.

“How long have you been living here?” Neil inquired, peering into Y/N’s eyes. His vision didn’t have to stretch too far as his face had only been a breath away from Y/N’s. The pair laid together under the warm covers of Neil’s bed with their legs entangled in one another’s and their hands interlocked, talking about anything and everything that came to their minds. “It’s been two years since Mrs. Meeks took me in,” She replied, gazing over Neil’s chiseled face. “In the whole time I’ve been here, I think you’re the most interesting thing that’s happened to me,” Y/N added, beaming up at Neil. Hearing her words, Neil slowly leaned his lips onto Y/N’s forehead, giving her an endearing kiss. She too had been the most interesting thing to happen to Neil in a long time.

✎ For each and every day that they were together, Neil wrote love poems.

✎ His poems revolved around his time with Y/N and included detail of all sorts; such as how colors appeared to be more bright and more vivid when he was with her and how lovelier the birds had sounded in the morning during their walks.

"My love,

The luminosity of the golden sun

does not compare to the radiance

of your glowing skin.

In this air full of morning dew,

the most beautiful scent in the air

is still you.

The sounds we hear of the melodious

birds are all because of your presence,

and they sing only for your beauty.

I look into your eyes and I see nature

reflected back at me; but it is much more

pleasant to perceive than if I were to do so

through my own set of eyes.

Though the morning lasts for a mere set of hours,

My fascination for you can go for as long as

this smooth river flows.

✎ Neil felt embarrassed about being so infatuated with Y/N, so he kept his poems hidden for the time being.

✎ Somehow, the boys had failed to notice Neil and Y/N’s constant disappearance.

✎ Although, they’d make little remarks from time to time that ran along the lines of “Ooh, Neil found a muse!” and “Y/N definitely likes somebody here. It’s probably me.”

✎ The last comment came from Charlie, which later earned him a smack on the head from Neil.

✎ So, Neil and Y/N did their best to keep their relationship hidden throughout the summer.

✎ The two were rather domestic in their relationship; they did all of the typical-couple activities that everyone else had done.

✎ To anyone else it would have been rather common to witness, but to them it was simply extraordinary being with one another.

It had been a scenic day at the river that morning. The beauty of the nature surrounding it had been ordinarily pleasing to Y/N; but all of its best qualities were magnified for Neil as his hand was in hers and the only thing he could smell was her fragrance. He had been quite nervous for the entire morning as he promised himself the night before that he would finally gather the courage to say those three magic words he’d been imagining to say for quite some time. Unbeknownst to him, Y/N had been thinking the same and had been visualizing how she would say it at that moment for the past few hours since. Just when the cascading waters began to relax and the chirping of the birds started to quiet down, the pair stopped on their trail and those three words were finally professed by Neil in a sudden manner while Y/N had spoken the same in a clear and gentle tone. They looked into each other’s eyes, recognizing the same look of love and eventually realizing what was said. As it was acknowledged, the two lovers simply smiled at each other and kept walking along; their hearts now beating on the same rhythm and their minds thinking of nothing but one another.

✎ Time to time, they would go up to the attic and listen to the music from Mrs. Meeks’ old gramophone, caressing one another as they slowly dance along to the lyrics of Ella Fitzgerald’s songs.

✎ Neil would always sneak a flower out of Mrs. Meeks’ rose garden and leave it on Y/N’s bedside table for her to wake up to.

✎ One of Y/N’s ways of communicating her love would be recommending books to Neil that she thinks is encompassed with his personality. Since then, Neil’s library had enlarged to a great extent.

✎ There would also be some occasions where one of them-- mostly Neil-- would get a little cheeky and try to express their love for the other out in the open.

“Eat up, boys! You know there’s plenty more of where that came from, so don’t be afraid to dig in!” Mrs. Meeks endorsed, setting down a bowl of mashed potatoes. With a jubilant ‘thank you’, everyone at the table promptly began to tuck into the mouthwatering cuisine. The boys soon found themselves distracted with the heavenly taste of Mrs. Meeks’ cooking; and Neil took this opportunity to covertly sneak his right hand onto Y/N’s thigh under the table. A scarlet blush crept its way up to Y/N’s cheek as she sent Neil a glare. Though her eyes expressed the message of “Not here!”, every other signal in her body sent the message of ‘Yes, Please’ to a very triumphant Neil.

✎ The summer inevitably came to an end and the boys were forced to return to Welton, much to their dismay.

✎ They couldn’t stand ending their summer; and they especially couldn’t stand leaving their new friend behind while the rest of them stayed together.

“Oh God, How are we supposed to leave this beautiful girl all alone in this big house?!” Charlie pleaded, theatrically dropping down to his knees and shouting out loud to the heavens. “It’s all just too emotional for us,” Pitts added as he went along with his friend’s act, his head bowing down to the ground in grief as he placed a comforting hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “Just take me with her, God! Let me be with Y/N at her all-girls school!”

✎ Despite all of the inconveniences they put upon Y/N, the poets really did leave a mark on her. These boys showed her a new way of life-- she knows what ‘Carpe Diem’ means, and she knows how to seize her days because of them.

✎ Of course, Neil had a harder time coming into terms with their departure more than anyone else.

✎ Leaving the Meeks’ residence meant that he was leaving Y/N, which was something that he hadn’t prepared himself for.

“I’m not ready to leave you,” Neil confessed. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. After the individual hugs and goodbyes Y/N had given to the rest of the poets, the ill-fated time had come when she had to bid her own farewell to her lover. Neil believed that though their time was short and fleeting, it truly had been something special and something that he’ll never forget. Y/N was his first love, his first muse, his first everything; and no amount of riches could ever sum up to the prominence of that. Y/N placed her hand on Neil’s face, stroking away his tears with her thumb as she felt her eyes begin to swell up as well. “I’ll write to you every day, Neil.” Naturally, Y/N was on the brink of tears as well. She couldn’t bear to leave Neil after everything he’s shown her. It feels like she’s known him forever, yet everything felt so new and exciting with him. She loved him too much, and she knows she’ll continue to love him long after.

✎ Neil was afraid that she would forget about what they had soon after she had left, so he decided to give her all of the poems he had written about her.

✎ As her hands clasped the thick set of parchment, the tears she had been trying so hard to conceal had all poured out, staining the paper and her hands.

“Neil… these are beautiful,” She croaked. Her eyes skimmed over every title and date, realizing that there had been a poem for each and every splendid day that they had been together. “You’re beautiful, Y/N. That’s why I wrote these,” Neil corrected. “Everything I love about you is in these poems, and all of the love I have for you is written in each letter. I just don’t want you to forget about me while we’re apart.” The absurdity of Neil’s words made Y/N chuckle softly before she stepped forward and linked her hands around Neil’s neck, reducing the space between their lips. “I love you, Neil. You’re always going to be in my mind and you’ll always have my heart in the little pocket of your Welton blazer.”

✎ Y/N felt truly fortunate to have met Neil. This summer had come as quite a surprise for her-- she did not expect to fall in love so soon and with such an extraordinary person like Neil Perry. He was everything she’d ever looked for and he gave everything she deserved.

✎ Even though the bright days of the summer had ended and the early falling leaves of the autumn was yet to arrive, the change was of no concern as the only thing that mattered was what had been consistent-- and for Y/N and Neil, the thing that stood still for the two of them despite all odds was each other.

dedicated to these lovely people!! @mybabysweetascanbe @disagreeingpoets @catflowerbean @galaxyrhytm @nananostalgic @ughgclden @towriteabetterlife @neilsemeraldsweater @yourpal @willowestelle

#dead poets society #dead poets #dps #dead poets society fanfiction #dps fanfiction #neil perry #neil perry x reader #neil perry fanfiction #neil perry fluff #neil perry angst #richard cameron #charlie dalton #knox overstreet #todd anderson #steven meeks #gerard pitts #jemi-writes #jemi-requested #jemi-dps

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falcqns · 2 years

Note

hey friend! Any advice for someone who’s just trying to shift? (I’m sure you’ve posted advice on this many times but scrolling to try to find it seems daunting) I’ve tried for about a month, I don’t have a specific method but I do get “symptoms” but those are very similar to how I feel when I’m trying to fall asleep normally so it’s hard to tell. I know it can take awhile so I’m trying not to get discouraged!

hi darling!! of course i can!! i have a shifting tag called #ava's a shifter which should include everything but pre diagnosis me probably forgot to tag a few posts about it so i'll give you some here:

one of the best pieces of advice i got from wanda (she's a shifter as well, her cr is my mcu dr and she shifts to sitcoms mainly, but she had been toying with making a no powers dr where she could see her parents and brother and have a normal life, i'm unsure if she has actually scripted or gone there yet thought) was to connect to this reality (or cr if this is'nt your cr!) fully. take a moment throughout the day to just stop, and use your five senses.

think about what you're doing, what it smells like, what you can hear, what you can see, what you can feel, what you can taste, what you are saying (if you're talking) and try to remember how it feels to do that. here's an example of me doing this right now:

what i am doing: answering your ask

what i can hear: i can hear my keyboard clacking as i type, brooklyn nine nine playing on my tv, my daughter breathing as she sleeps next to me

what i can see: my computer screen, the words i am typing, my daughter

what i can smell: my sugared snicker doodle candle, my deodorant i put on a few minutes ago

what i can taste: my sweet and salty chocolate chunk Clif Bar that i am absolutely destroying bc i love Clif bars and eat like 5 per day lmao

what i can feel: my teddy bear sweater on my arms, my wrists on the computer, my daughters head on my leg, and my mind focusing as my meds start working

after you do that (do it a few times a day), use it when you're visualizing. when you're trying to shift, imagine a scenario similar to something you did that day. an example of this is that tonight, i'm going to try to go to chris evans younger sister dr. so, using the information i used above, this is what i'm going to visualize:

what i am doing: playing the sims on my laptop at the hotel table - we're still in disney world

what i can hear: my mama talking to my doctor on the phone, my brothers arguing over what to watch on the tv, my keyboard clacking under my fingers

what i can see: the house i am building, my brothers laying on the bed, my water bottle next to me

what i can smell: chlorine wafting from the open balcony door that faces one of the pools, the chocolate cake chris bought me earlier, and the coffee that scott left on the table

what i can taste: the chocolate cake as i bite into it, the Lefou's Brew chris also bought me as i drink it

what i can feel: my sundress straps resting on my slightly sun burned shoulders, my bare feet against the rough hotel carpet and how it bugs me, my hair behind my ears.

she said that not only will it help you visualize, it will help you connect to both your cr and your dr, because a connection to both is important. your cr is still a reality, and your connection to it is important, therefore connecting to your cr will only benefit you in connecting your dr.

if you know the feeling of connecting fully to your cr, you will have an easier time connecting fully to your dr, and you'll be able to disconnect from your cr fully while connecting to your dr fully.

another tip i have is to watch/read something about wherever your shifted to. i often watch a movie if im going to my marvel dr, but you can choose anything. this isn't mandatory, its more of a personal choice for me, and helps me to feel more connected to my dr. i also allow myself to daydream, because that is usually when i get that 'pull' that others speak of.

when i feel that pull, i know that its time to try. it doesn't always work, but it helps!

i hope that helped, and if you have any other questions, let me know and i'll answer!

#ava's anons #ava's a shifter #shifting to marvel #shifting consciousness #shiftingblr #reality shifting #shifting realities #shifting

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chateautae · 3 years

Note

I for duck's sake need help people.....see, I would be very pleased if anyone of you would just help me out....the thing is, I have been in a relationship for like around 3 years and trust me, he is like the most perfect kinda person I have ever met..but now comes the main issue, he has till now, never ever hinted me about doing anything ( the max. we have went is uk till just a little makeout types, ik spoiling my sex life like this sucks but that's why I am going anonymous and I think some of you might have experienced it ig, don't take me wrong, I mean like uk). The good thing is, we both are understanding and extremely working persons (he works as a employee in a business firm and I am a newbie doctor (kinda just started my practice as a doctor)....and even though I am a doctor and that having sex is like a normal thing because we literally studies everything, I still freak out upon thinking about doing it with him....it's not like I am scared or anything but I just want some uk girl tips upon how to actually do it....reading about it is quite, tbh, okay for me, but then doing it is like, a difficult task....i bet you he knows about everything and that's why he hasn't hinted upon anything but like from the past 1 week, he jas been dropping kinda hints ig.....like I won't go into the details, otherwise I would be hella embarrassed, not that I am not right now, I am literally sitting in the washroom typing this ( don't judge me)....while reading about it, it feels so easy to execute everything but then when doing it in real life is like so much like wierd ig....I mean how do I respond to it.....I am nervous and what not.....as 25yo, I sometimes feel wierd that I can't uk do it......can anyone of you just help me please......like some girl tips.....I searched it on Google too, still I don't have the courage.....amd moreover, my friends circle is so wierd amd plus, I am too shy to ask anyone.....ik asking this in such a way and place is way too inappropriate to be even considered normal....it's not like I am not ready for it, it's just I am quite nervous about how to do it.....tbh, he hasn't forced me even once still remained to be sweet and all but internally we noth know, we might wanna step up.....HELP PLZ.....my mom is way too conservative to even have an open conversation about kisses let alone doing it....

Oh hun, you are completely and tOTALLY allowed to come to this blog for any advice and not feel ashamed. This is an 18+ blog and anyone here would be so glad to help you, something like this is totally normal!! I shall leave my words under the cut, though if anyone else would like to help this lovely anon please do not hesitate to drop off a reply or even something in my inbox! I'll answer right away to help anyone wondering the same thing 💓

Alright hun, first and foremost I am so happy your relationship has been so strong! And I'm glad you're with someone who hasn't pushed you or anything into doing anything sexual yet, I'll tell you from experience that can be extremely daunting and uncomfy so I'm super relieved your man has been sweet!!

In terms of real advice, tbh I'm quite the wrong person to go to. I lost my v-card with my first boyfriend when I was 16, literally we were both inexperienced and even the times we did you know, do the deed it was very clumsy and nobody knew what they were doing, and the second person I've been with was a Kiseok situation (if you read maybe I do, yes Kiseok is based on a real person in my life) so fuck that dude. But maybe my own inexperience can also help you out, here are at least some lady tips I can think of:

1. Make sure you're comfortable. I say comfortable instead of ready because I'm quite the believer in if you wait until the moment you're ready, you'll wait your entire life. So my best advice is to make sure you're comfy with the situation and your partner!!

2. Ensure your partner is someone who cares about you. I know everyone's stories are different, and not everyone has sex with someone they've been with for a long time or even love, one night stands are totally okay and I salute you sister. get that dick!!! But even in situations where you're with a stranger, sex is a very intimate thing, and it would make your experience 1000x better if you can at least tell the person cares about you and your body and your wishes during sex. Everyone deserves to be respected during an intimate act like sex and if you feel you're not being respected, whether it's your body, your wishes, your limits, your choices, do not feel obligated to still go through with this person.

3. You have to be wet. Of course not all sexual encounters happen the same way, and every female gets off on different things or turned on by a variety of actions, but essentially you have to be wet for sex. Most men understand this but a lot also don't, basically you gotta get into that juicy foreplay to get wet my girl. Try making out, maybe if you're sitting down swing a leg over his lap and bam you're straddling him. This position is usually optimal because you gain the opportunity to grind against yo man's crotch and my fucking God, does that shit feel hella nice. It's also highkey ego-boosting feeling how much the guy's getting worked up because literally anytime you grind or move over their crotch it immediately spikes to their dick and you can usually feel them against you. If you're standing, try moving to an area that has a wall and keep grabbing at your man's neck, usually men naturally will indicate you to jump and you'll easily be all up against the wall making out, this gets hella fun too cause being carried like that is so 😩

3.2. Okay cool, we're making out, now it's essentially a game of go with the flow. Men usually take the initiative and begin the escalation of things on their own. Maybe he'll start kissing down your neck, his hands are gonna be somewhere at your waist, maybe inching down to your ass or maybe he's an ass guy and he's already palming at yo cheeks. Regardless, I can confidently say you can sit back and relax, let yourself feel, get into the kissing and grinding and if you love the way he's touching you, make some noise and let him know, don't be afraid to be turned on and goddamn horny, dudes love that shit. You however are also allowed to take the wheel, and guys usually search for the greenlight from girls by sensing their movements and how eager they seem for the go-ahead on anything. If maybe you begin tugging at his clothes, they'll usually think "okay, she's okay with this rn" and so on. This part's sincerely just go with the flow, you don't need to rush and honestly the more foreplay the better for getting your puthy wet. Make sure you're comfy and your partner makes sure you're okay with that they're doing to you.

3.3. Whoop dee doo your man's hands are suddenly going, you know, places. Another case of go with the flow, if you're comfortable with your man wanting to do a lil rubby dubby on your kitty then totally let him, this shit feel's god-like I tell you. Maybe I'm just a sensitive ass whore, who knows but something about feeling a man's hands do what your lady fingers can't just HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. But essentially from here maybe you wanna reciprocate. Get them pesky pants open and feel your man up. Reach inside those boxers and touch that beast he's hiding inside. Make sure to go nice and slow and your hands aren't rough, men's dick are super sensitive and if you go too hard on at least a dry dick it acc hurts them. Men usually leak pre-cum at their tips so try using some of that to slick up your hand.

3.4. That's handjobbing, now if we're getting into oral, very important things to remember. A) retract your teeth, it's hard and it hurts to do it for a long time but teeth will hurt dudes a lot so suck them in and away from their cocks. B) Hollow your cheeks, men like the tightness of a mouth and that's what really gets them going. C) BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE PLEASE DO NOT JUST STOP BREATHING AND TAKE YOUR TIME OKAY BLOWJOBS ARE ACC VERY FUCKING HARD AND FUCK YOU UP especially for someone like me who has a small mouth, yeah that shit sUCKS but nothing is more beautiful than seeing a man fold under your touch. D) Tease yo man a bit, kitten licks and kisses, dragging your tongue over his slit, maybe a pump and then take him out, slick him up with some saliva maybe, anything you feel like doing go ahead girl, that dick is yours for the time being and I promise he'll love it. E) Deep-throating is really when gets guys going cause they only acc feel shit at their tips, so please deep-throat with caution, and take your time if he's a big one, you can acc really hurt yourself especially if you're constantly deep-throating a really big one. F) Go to town girl, get up and bobbing, go down on him like he can't survive without you, go at your own pace and own it. G) Balls usually go neglected and I promise if you even fondle them or grab at them your man will combust.

3.5. Okay so with actual sex, FIRST OF ALL BE SAFE!!!! USE A FUCKING CONDOM, IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE THEN DON'T FUCK BUT IF YOU'RE STILL HORNY THEN PLEASE RECIEVE SOME MONEY FROM YO MAN FOR PLAN B!!! IT'S NOT ENTIRELY FOOLPROOF THOUGH PLEASE REMEMBER THAT RISK. You can totally go on birth control too but this has its complications, there are also monthly shots you can take and other contraceptives.

3.6. Okay it's sexy times, this is just gonna have to be a thing for you. Everyone's different and has different comfort levels, maybe you can take someone that’s bigger while some women can't and that's fine. Just make sure when he does go in, you feel okay with it. It will hurt if you’re dry and not wet, like hurt a lOT but if you do feel loads of pain just let your partner know to go slower, and let yourself get used to the feeling of something inside. You can always say stop if it hurts too much, seriously it's normal and that's what I did with my first boyfriend. Hell I fucking kicked my ex off me LMAO and he was so sorry and we just ended everything there, and had actual sex the next time I visited him. From here on I've really got no lady tips, essentially it's up to you what you like and what you'll do, get it on!!!

General Tips:

4. Be you, and be confident. I know sex can be really daunting especially when you consider men usually tend to be more experienced, and maybe you become afraid you won't measure up or be as good as his previous partners or you’re not good at sex, but baby girl it ain't about that. This dude is going to have sex with you because he wants to have sex with you, and whether that's his dick speaking for him or his heart, it means he will not be thinking about some other chick he got it on with a year ago, he will be thinking of you and your pretty mouth and what you're doing, focused on touching your body and thinking he loves the way it feels. The more confident you are, the better. You're sexy and pretty and you are desirable babes, let those noises he makes when you touch him drive your confidence, the way he groans a little when you do something, the way he's tugging your body close to yours cause he wants to feel you, it all means he wants you and that's hot, let it boost your lady ego my love. You're allowed to be shy, I totally understand that, and if your partner really cares about you then they'll easily take your hand and guide you through it. Let them know you're a little nervous, and they'll really try to make things more comfy and easier for you because sex is about both parties, not just one.

5. Orgasming is hard, but it's still achievable. Especially in an open, established relationship, really let your man know what turns you on. Let him feel at your cooch while he's penetrating you and I promise that can usually get you orgasming. Other than that, another huge case of doing what you need to do to get yourself off, and always let your partner know. If you’re really searching for an orgasm in a newer relationship or if you’re too shy to say something, then literally just take your man’s hand and place him over your clit and start rubbing with him, he’ll get the hint and start doing it himself.

6. Communication is key. This is obvious, but even if it's dirty talk, usually it's still a way to communicate and see if you're okay. You can ask to go slower, faster, softer, harder, stop altogether or entirely wreck your goddamn shit. Your partner should listen and if they don't, get the fuck out of there and leave that man, he don't fucking deserve you at all, especially in situations where you ask to stop or to slow down cause maybe something hurts, if he doesn't listen here then no, he don't deserve shit and LEAVE. Don't be afraid to make noise either or say something, dudes usually love hearing you. If you don’t like something please let your partner know, I’m sure they’re wondering if you do and would love to hear you communicating.

7. Be clean after you're done woo-hoo-ing. Make sure you're tidy and stuff before putting clothes back on, sex can get messy especially if it's your first time you can bleed. Usually if the dude is a sweetheart enough they'll clean you, which is obviously aftercare uwu.

8. Pee after sex, UTI's are not fun.

9. Your body may also feel weird or go through changes after you have sex for the first time, but that’s normal. Just you body’s response to feeling something foreign inside you.

10. Ladies, remembering during sex that you have power, IT’S YOUR BODY!!!! Whether it’s because you’re totally domming or because your man is super duper sweet and will not do anything unless you want it, sex is meant to be fun and for both parties’ enjoyment. It’s not a chore nor is it something you HAVE to do to keep your man around or something, let yourself have fun girl, you deserve it. The flow of sex and any activities as such are usually dictated by you and what you want, so remember you don’t have to go through with something if you don’t want to. It shouldn’t matter if a dude really badly wants to get his dick wet, this is your body and you are to decide what happens to it. If a man makes you believe otherwise, FUCK THAT DUDE!!!! HE DON’T DESERVE YOU!!! YOU DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT AND TO BE CARED FOR AS A HUMAN BEING!!

#sammy's advice #sammy files #inbox #anon

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dancing-the-hellfire-rumba · 4 years

Text

Seen ✓ - 2

Pairing: Sam x Fem!Reader Warnings: light anxiety Word Count: 2.2k Series Summary: On her way home, Y/n finds an abandoned, cracked phone on the sidewalk. Anxious about the well-being of its owner, she picks it up and texts the first contact she finds; Sam. A/N: Chapter 2! Our pals are kicking it off already. Can you smell the chemistry? The rOMANCE? LESSGO

Pictures used in this chapter were found on google images :)

Beta: no one.

Catch up! : Part 1 Masterlist

Chapter 2: overthinker.

From: y/n_andrews85 To: D_impala67 Subject: I have your phone. That sounds creepy. I don’t think there’s a non-creepy way of writing this. Whatever.

Dear Dean, is it?

I just wanted to let you know I found your phone at the bus stop the other night. I wasn’t planning on holding on to it, really, but I got worried that you may have been in trouble, and then you never really looked for it either so, I don’t know, I figured better than someone who’ll snatch it and leave, you know?

Anyways, that’s why I’m emailing. I snooped through it a little, sorry, hopefully you’ll understand it was kinda necessary? Maybe we can arrange something so I can get it back to you. This girl, Jamie, keeps sending me (well you technically) topless photos of her. It’s not really what lights my candle. I’m assuming you’d like it back too.

I hope you’re safe. Looking forward to hearing back from you!

Y/n Andrews

Do you believe me now?

oh god

you didn’t

Sure did

wow. just wow.

you just handed his ass back to him holy shit!

last time he called, he said he dropped his phone while walking back to his motel, so

he’s okay.

That’s good, I’m glad he’s safe.

I was planning on including something along the lines of “This would’ve been easier if you were an active member of the 21st century and used social media”

But I figured the Jamie thing was motive enough?

yeah. topless Jamie? that’s something else.

Don’t be getting any ideas, dude, I don’t do nudes lmao.

oh god, no i didn’t think that

you did not just type lmao though. how old are you again?

oh god, you’re not 14 or something right? i don’t know what that would make me.

Don’t worry about it, I turned 16 last week.

…

are you serious?

Lmao, no, I’m kidding. I’m twenty-two.

But I think the word you’re looking for is a creep. Oh, and an ageist.

ouch.

Haha, I’m joking.

Lighten up, what are you, ninety?

hi pot meet kettle.

Shit I walked right into that one.

also i’d like to think i don’t text like a ninety-year-old man. could be wrong though

to answer your question i’m twenty-four.

Twenty-four huh? I assume you’re done with college, no?

Or- wait, I guess not everyone goes to college.

Yes, this is me fishing for information.

well… i kinda dropped out.

decided to go on a road trip with my brother.

things went a little south I ended up continuing the family business.

Damn, college drop-out ey? Where from?

Also, Family business? What do you do?

Is this too interview-y? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to snoop.

you’re good.

stanford. pre-law.

and my brother and i are private investigators. that’s why he’s not in Kansas with me. he’s working a case.

Daaaaamn. Stanford AND a lawyer? And now working as a PI? You’re pretty smart, then.

an ageist and a generalist? i didn’t take you for such y/n.

Fuck, okay, you sound like a lawyer too.

hahahah

so what about you?

What about me?

are you in college?

Oh yeah! Film school. My dream has always been to be a director. It’s rare to find someone who loves movies more than I do.

that’s really cool.

hey i’ve been meaning to ask.

Thinking of me, Sam?

…

Do tell.

how come you were walking home through a park in the middle of the night the other day?

Ooh, I was coming back from work.

I’m a bartender and I had a late shift on Friday.

oh I see. That makes sense yeah.

I’m sorry to cut this conversation short, but I’m legitimately three seconds away from falling asleep. I’m gonna hit the hay.

See you later, Sam :)

See you, y/n :)

A smile creeps on Y/n’s features at the thought of more conversations with Sam. He has given her something to look forward to, something to make her a little more excited during her boring every-day life. As she tucks herself in under her covers, eyelids heavy enough to droop involuntarily, the last thing she thinks of is him, the clever, sassy, twenty-four year old college dropout on the other side of the cracked phone screen. The overwhelming urge to get to know him overtakes her as she succumbs to sleep

Do you believe in ghosts?

that’s… random.

May be

why do you ask?

Idk, just wanna get to know you better.

that’s what you ask people you want to get to know better?

Yes?

Are you avoiding the question?

i do. believe in ghosts.

You?

So do i.

Well, sorta. I guess I believe in souls more than anything.

hm?

Well… I guess I hope (more than believe) that we are more than our corporeal selves.

In the sense that, it’s comforting to me that when we die, and our bodies stop working, we don’t evaporate.

I guess.

yeah I understand.

i don’t know. i guess i wanna believe in science more than anything but i know better.

How do you mean?

call it a hunch.

Oh c’mon, it’s gotta be more than that.

Sam…?

Y/n huffs out a breath, gnawing at her lip. She hopes her anxiety isn’t right, that Sam isn’t sick of her silly questions and existential dread, and is actually doing something. Perhaps his battery ran out.

...Sure.

She was doing something too, before she decided to text him. Eyes falling on all her books and notes, spread around her like ugly, depressing, anxiety-inducing flower petals. There’s a blanket over her legs, chilly fall weather seeping through her bones, and there’s a half empty pizza box in front of her. She’s full and the left overs are kept for her sister, Emily, who’s currently locked up in her room.

Damn it. Y/n is stressed and tired, and now her distraction is refusing to reply. This sucks. She hates the crawling, awful, gooey feeling of cold anxiety gripping every beat of her heart and stupidly convincing her he’s purposefully ghosting her, because he doesn’t like her.

Not knowing what to occupy herself with, she heads to take a shower. In the back of her head, she knows that she’ll probably not study any longer, so she takes it upon herself to sink under the hot water and wash thoroughly, trying to get her mind off Dean’s phone. When her feet step out of the shower and she has towel-dried herself as best as she can, she tosses her wet hair in a haphazard bun, and gets dressed.

Books stack under the rickety, stained coffee table, and she grabs her sketchbook, her favorite pencil, as well as her and Dean’s phone. She shoots Connor a text, arranging a hang out of some kind, and opens her little booklet, when a text vibrates Dean’s phone.

hey i’m sorry i got caught up in something.

It’s alright.

She doesn’t press the ghost subject, because he doesn’t seem into it and she really doesn’t wanna make him dislike her any more than he possibly already does.

The empty page of her sketchbook daunts her. With a tight grip on her mechanical pencil, she urges her creativity pumps to use some gasoline, but they seem limp and dead, and once more unwilling to help her. As her eyes fall on Dean’s phone, like a light bulb out of a cartoon, she gets an idea.

Hey, this might sound creepy, but what do you look like?

She stares at the phone. This feels like a risky question. God, if he wasn’t done with her before, he certainly must be now. But then, he surprises her.

why do you wanna know?

I’m in the mood to sketch some, and my creativity has officially left the building.

Care to help a girl out? Maybe your literary descriptions will spark something in me lmao.

i didn’t know you sketched.

Yeah, sometimes. Nothing great though, I promise. I’m certainly no Picasso.

i mean you don’t have to be picasso to sketch well. and you don’t have to sketch well to sketch at all.

Yeah, may be.

I don’t wanna pressure you into anything, you really don’t have to humor me.

If you do feel like it though, don’t send me a picture. Kinda wanna spark some life into my brain cells.

haha i will. only if you show me the finished product tho.

You’ve got yourself a deal :)

She simply cannot believe he has just agreed to this. Her breath is caught in her throat.

so.

what do you want me to start with?

Just whatever. Idk, tell me about your face.

well

i have brown curly-ish hair that reaches my ears. uh, my eyes are hazel.

Okay, that’s a start.

What’s your nose like?

it’s a bit pointy. thin i think?

Jawline?

sharp? i guess?

this is by far the weirdest thing i’ve done.

Lmao, yeah, this is pretty weird.

Exciting though.

She shouldn’t have said that. Fuck, that is definitely overeager.

yeah it is.

Her stomach feels floaty at his response.

Eyebrows?

normal?

How do you classify “normal” eyebrows, exactly?

i don’t know? they’re simple i guess.

Are you implying complicated eyebrows exist out there?

…

Elaborate, Sam. Are you shy? Do you not have eyebrows? Are they bushy? Or too thin? Or pointy?

i’m telling you they’re average.

Sam

what

You officially suck at this.

oh fuck off how would you describe yours?

Y/n proceeds to write a cohesive sentence that includes adjectives apart from “normal” and “average”. Words like bushy, thin, arched and curvy.

well shit yeah i guess i do suck at this.

i think it’s not a skill i mind not having.

That… is a confusing sentence.

just… draw them however. what difference can eyebrows make?

Oh you have no idea.

Okay, last thing.

Do you have a fringe?

yeah but not for long. i’ll probably let it grow out.

Okay, I can do something with that. Thanks :)

no problem

Her creativity is finally servicing her according to her commands, and Y/n puts pen to paper and scribbles messily. Line after line, they curl and sit on the page, forming a smile with thin lips, a sharp jaw, a pointy nose. She has to guess the eyebrows a bit, and the eyes are more cartoonish and generic than she likes. In the end, she gets anxious at the prospect of having to show him, and gives him a hood, so she won’t fuck up the hair.

Okay, I’m done.

that was quick, actually.

Well I didn’t have much to go on.

Sam doesn’t reply. She worries he might have misinterpreted her teasing tone.

Gimme a sec, I’ll send it over.

Ugh, Dean’s camera is such shit. Do you mind if I send it from my phone?

no go ahead.

[Y/n has sent a picture]

As you said, it didn’t take long. It’s really not the best.

that…

is actually not too far from the truth

it kind of looks like me from two years ago

wow, really?

yeah.

and it’s honestly a pretty good sketch. good job.

Thank you :)

Sam doesn’t say anything after this, and she huffs. Her head falls back on the couch, and she stares at the ceiling. She should go to bed soon, it’s getting late.

isn’t this strange?

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit oh shit, she thinks. He’s regretting this. He doesn’t like her. He’ll stop talking to her and that’ll be it.

Why does she care so much? It’s a thought that passes through her mind. It hasn’t been long since they started talking and, after the near-kidnapping encounter, they’ve been having nearly daily conversations, but that still doesn’t mean much. She knows barely anything about him.

She guesses, she wants to get to know him better. He seems like the type of guy she’d enjoy hanging out with and she has so far. Stopping any kind of conversation would surely feel like a loss. She’d have to go back to her boring routine. This is the most exciting thing she has allowed herself to do in years.

A part of her feels rather lame for finding such a thrill at something so trivial. She’s talking to a stranger, and that’s all it is, but the prospect that he could be anyone at all, and she’s never even seen his face… well… It feels refreshing, new. Scary in an adrenaline-rush kind of way.

What is?

us. texting.

isn’t it a little odd?

I guess it is a bit.

I mean we’ve only known each other for, what, a week? And a half?

yeah.

should we stop?

I don’t know

Do you want to?

The extra moment his reply takes to arrive makes her want to vomit.

Then there’s your answer.

okay then

can I save you in my contacts?

Sure, go ahead.

I just did too.

alright.

Okay :)

I’m sorry, I have to go.

I guess I’ll text you later, Sam.

Go be whoever Sam Something is.

it’s winchester.

Like the shotgun?

yup.

That’s BADASS. Can you even get more badass than this? Pre-law, now a PI, and you’re named after a shotgun? Damn dude.

Well, it’s nice to meet you Sam. I’m Y/n Andrews.

Haha thanks.

nice to meet you, too

goodnight Y/n Andrews.

Night Sam Winchester :)

--- Part 3

A/N: Thoughts? How are you liking the newer version of this? right after I post it, I’m gonna delete the other one.

Taglist:

Old Can You See The Stars taglist: @shutupiminlooove @sammysgirl1997 @kymberlytorres @bambi95-blog @demonic-meatball @thekarliwinchester @littlekay15 @li-m-ii @thinspo-isuppose @carryonmywaywarddemigodwitch @ellen-reincarnated1967 @moonlitskinwalker @marichromatic @illuminatus42 @lazy-author @mirandaaustin93 @hauntedsiriel @pilaxia @devilgirlsarah @nobodys-baby-now @captiveties @calamitychaos @midiocris @wordswillscream

Sam taglist @kymberlytorres @theboykingsam @depressed-moose-78 @andi-mendes-barnes @captainmarvelcorps @nerd-in-a-galaxy-far-away @nellachain

#sam x reader #sam x fem!reader #sam x reader series #sam x reader fluff #sam x reader angst #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x fem!reader #sam winchester x reader series #sam winchestr fluff #sam fluff #spn #supernatural #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #seen 2 #seen

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t-lostinworlds · 5 years

Text

Santa Claus? (Shawn Mendes)

*Found You bonus content*

A/N: A lil’ something for Christmas with my favorite boy Angelo and as a sorry gift for not doing a part 2 of Leaked hehe. This was supposed to be a short blurb, 1k words at max but HA guess who got carried away. Again. I can’t seem to write short blurbs for some reason without it turning into a whole long ass fic lmao. Anyhow I hope you enjoy this one!

Summary: You get a much unexpected visit from a big, tall man with a long, white beard. Angelo catches his mom kissing said man. And an even bigger surprise comes your way the next morning.

Warnings: None but Fluff and Typos

Word Count: 5.9k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

You finally got Angelo to sleep and you were relieved.

It was daunting to hear the 6-year-old ask about where his dad was, his dad who happens to be working even if there were only two days left until Christmas.

It was a last minute show that got added to his schedule, hence why his time away from home got extended. Plus, it's a charity event so you couldn't exactly complain or be mad about it.

Angelo is smart even at his age, so he does understand why his dad is away, but of course, the young boy can't stop himself from getting upset when he wakes up to see that his father is still not around.

Shawn calls every day of course, but that's never the same.

Hell, he wasn't even around when you put up the Christmas tree and all the decorations. It was heartbreaking to see that pout on Angelo's lips when he had that conversation with his dad over FaceTime that he wasn't going to do it with him this year.

You were just so glad that Aaliyah and Karen came over that day to help, uplifting Angelo's mood for sure.

And you miss your man just as much too. It's been too long since the day he was back home, and you want nothing more than the three of you to sit on the couch, all huddled up as you watch whatever Christmas movie with hot chocolates in hand. Then later in the night, you would finally get him all to yourself once Angelo is tucked in bed.

But you'll have to work with whatever you have for now.

You left the door slightly ajar to your's and Shawn's bedroom, that way you can hear Angelo if he ever gets out of bed. After turning the main light off, you slipped underneath the covers and clicked your side lamp on. You got yourself comfortable before you pulled out your book from the drawer and you just indulged.

* * *

Time flew pass you quickly that you didn't even notice that it was already 1 am until you stifled out a yawn. Closing the book and placing it on your side table, you reached over to turn the lamp off, but before you could even do so, you heard something fall on the floor outside with a hard thud.

With furrowed brows, you slowly got out of bed, making sure to grab the bat that you left just by the door on the way out. Not that the building wasn't secure but you just had to make sure you have any type of self-defense just in case.

You checked Angelo's room to see that the boy was still in bed, soundly asleep. You took a deep breath as you locked his door before closing it shut. You then slowly creeped your way to the living room, all while making sure that you were silent enough to not alarm whoever was in your house.

Your grip on the bat was tight as your heart hammered against your chest. You could make out the shuffling of feet and the sound of rustling paper as you grew closer the living space.

You were very sure that you've locked the doors but it seems like someone just broke into your home, judging by the soft humming along with the sound of things being moved. Oddly enough, the first thing you saw once you've reached the living room was a man dressed in red and white, hunched over the Christmas tree with a big red bag in hand.

Confusion filled you up but you kept quiet, walking towards them at a safe distance to where you can swing the bat with full force. "Drop the bag or I'm going to split your skull open." You said slowly, voice low but shaky because as much as you can definitely hurt him, you don't know if he was armed or not, making him a treat still.

Maybe you should've just stayed in bed and called the cops.

The man chuckled, hands quick to shot up as he held it in surrender. He turned his head slightly so he can look at you over his shoulder, your eyes catching a glimpse of the long white beard on his face. "There's no need for that honey."

Realization washed over you at the sound of his voice, that extremely familiar voice that you'll always recognize no matter what the occasion.

"Shawn?" He nodded at his name, standing up and turning to face you, grabbing the tip of his fake beard and pulling it down to reveal his face fully, wide smile and all. He was about to say something when you caught him off guard as you swung the bat to hit him right on the bicep, not too hard but just enough for it to sting a little.

"Ow! What was that for?" Shawn yelped, hand coming up to rubbed his arm as he looked at you in pure shock. "You scared the shit out of me you fucking idiot! I thought someone had broken in or something!" You dropped the bat on the floor, a loud clank echoing through the walls as you crossed your arms over your chest in pure annoyance.

"Surprise?" A sheepish grin made its way onto Shawn's lips as he slowly made his way towards you, hands grabbing your wrists to unfold your arms and throwing it over his shoulders. "I'm sorry for scaring you angel, but you do look so hot when you're in fight mode, you brave badass woman." Shawn purred, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you closer to his body, the warmth feeling comforting that you couldn't help but relax in his hold.

"You're very lucky I miss your stupid face so much or you would be sleeping on the couch tonight." You scoffed with a roll of your eyes, earning a soft chuckle from him. He nudged the tip of his nose with yours, his eyes crinkling as he softly whispered, "I missed you too my love, oh so much."

You sighed, fingers getting lost in the curls of the nape of his neck that were slightly hidden under his Christmas hat. The fabric of his outfit felt so soft on your skin, your eyes looking down as you gave him a once over before you shook your head at your man. "How are you home already and why on earth are you dressed as Santa Claus?"

Shawn shrugged with a smile. "I took the first flight home after the show, couldn't wait till morning to see you two. As for the costume, I was going to call you to come downstairs once I'm done placing the gifts, and I thought it would be cute for you to see me in this outfit as a surprise, but you caught me first so here we are. It was a great plan in my head but now it does seem like I'm a burglar. I'm sorry for scaring you honey." He pouted, giving your body a gentle squeeze as he touches his forehead against yours.

"You're such an idiot you know that right?" You giggled, still in pure disbelief at how corny and stupid he can be at times but nevertheless, you were extremely overjoyed to finally have him home.

"Hmm, but I am your idiot who you love so much." Shawn hummed, head dipping as he finally captured your lips in his after a long time, too long.

Sighs of relief escaped the two of you as you smiled between the kiss, happy to feel the warmth course through your bodies in the cold December night. You can feel his smirk widen a few seconds later as he nibbled on your bottom lip, both hands coming down to rest on top of the swell of your bum, giving it a soft, cheeky squeeze emitting a giggle out of you.

Shawn will never have enough of you and he always makes sure he gets that point across in more ways than one.

But before any of you could go any further—to which Shawn was so keen on moving it to the couch—a small voice interrupted your sweet reunion.

"Mommy?"

You and Shawn pulled away like two teenagers who just got caught making out in the janitor's closet, both pairs of wide eyes turning to see a little boy standing there, half asleep or half awake, you couldn't tell with the way his eyes were squinted.

Shawn was quick to pull his fake beard up to hide his face as you took a step forward and turned to Angelo who was looking at you with furrowed brows. The little boy's head was titled to the side in an attempt to see more of the person who stood behind you.

"Santa Claus?" Angelo questioned again, confusion laced in his voice as he stood still right in the hallway, small hands coming up to rub his sleepy eyes.

"Uh..." You shot Shawn a look to stop him from speaking. The boy was still too young and you don't want to ruin his belief in Santa just yet. He has to find out the truth on his own terms. Plus, you and Shawn aren't ready to break the news to him especially when it was nearing Christmas, and this is definitely not the way to do it.

You approached Angelo with a sigh, crouching down once you reached him so you were almost his same height. "Angelo sweetheart, why are you out of bed?" You cooed, hands coming up to rub his arms softly.

"I was going for a wee but I heard someone talking. Mommy why is Santa in our living room? It's not Christmas yet." The little boy lifted a finger up to which you assumed was pointed at the tall man standing there with his long white beard. You looked over your shoulder to see Shawn just staying still, half of his face hidden with his hand up in a small wave, and you tried your best to hold back a laugh at his antic.

You turned back to Angelo with a smile. "Well, he wanted to give you an early present with more to come this Christmas since you've been such a good boy." Before the boy could even muster a response, a loud yawn escaped his lips instead once he opened his mouth, the sheer look of tiredness still painted on his cute little face.

"Now, Santa needs to finish putting your gifts and you're not allowed to peek, so let's get you back to bed my love." Angelo muttered a soft 'okay' as you lifted him off the floor, his small arms clinging around your neck while he rests his head on your shoulder, such an endearing sight for Shawn to see.

"Goodnight Santa." The little boy called out sleepily as you carried him back to his room.

Shawn only waved as his heart grew twice its size. Angelo looking so comfortable in your arms and how it looked like it belonged, only goes to prove that it definitely was time.

Once you two were out of sight, Shawn was quick to finish what he started, placing all the gifts under the tree and making sure to place yours with much extra care.

* * *

You came back a few minutes later to see him in the kitchen with a glass of milk in one hand and his phone on the other, hat and beard long forgotten on the countertop. His smile only widens as he saw you approach, locking his phone and placing it face down so he can give his queen his full attention.

"Is he asleep?" Shawn asked, hand extended for you to take to which you did, with a sweet smile of your own to match his. He leaned back on the kitchen island as he pulled you closer to stand right between his legs, his hands firm on the small of your back while yours laid flat on his chest.

"Hmm, but if he asks about Santa again tomorrow, it's your turn to explain mister." You raised an eyebrow at him in an accusing manner to which Shawn only nodded with a chuckle; though his soft laugh was quick to dissipate, replaced by this serious look as he stared at you lovingly, hands stroking your back up and down in a comforting way that only made you melt more into his arms.

"I love you so much, you know that right?" Shawn sighed in pure gratitude, brown orbs boring straight into yours that showed nothing but the full truth.

It was so heartwarming to see that he does in fact love you just as much as you love him, if not, even more. Words can never truly give justice to how happy you feel to have found your place in his world, and to have found a family in him and Angelo.

"And I love you, oh so much." You whispered as happy tears started to well up your eyes as all the beautiful memories replayed itself in your mind. A soft coo escaped Shawn's lips as he pulls you in for a warm hug, your emotional state tugging at his heartstrings in the best way possible.

"I'm so lucky to have you in my life Y/N. You make me of so happy my love, you have no idea." He murmured against your hair, as if the moment wasn't emotional enough.

"Oh stop, you're going to make me cry even more." You giggled with a soft sniffle, pulling away slightly so you can fully meet his eyes, and you didn't need to tell Shawn anything for him to see that you do feel the same way about him. A silent communication was enough to let your hearts know how much you mean to one another.

"You're probably tired from your flight, let's go get some sleep." You added, about to walk away from his grasp but his hold around you only tightened. His smile was quick to switch, turning into this one smirk he does that only means pure mischief and you couldn't help yourself from feeling a bit excited.

"Well, me getting some sleep is entirely up to you babe." Shawn wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, his voice a low growl that only made your insides churn.

And let's just say after his comment, you two got way lesser sleep than intended, and it was entirely his fault.

* * *

It was the next morning and like clockwork, you and Angelo were already in the kitchen making breakfast. The little boy always insists that he helps even if it's just handing you wooden spoons or whatever ingredient he can carry every now and then.

Angelo was stood on this small, movable stairs beside you that enables him to just watch what you're doing without having the trouble of being on his tippy toes, in which it also helps him grab things off the counter with ease.

Shawn, on the other hand, was still asleep and Angelo doesn't have a single clue that his dad was just in the bedroom as you haven't told him yet. You don't want to cut off Shawn's slumber with a 6-year-old jumping on him with no remorse whatsoever. Your man does need some rest after all.

It didn't take long for him to emerge out of bed though. Shawn always seems to know when you're not beside him anymore, such an adorable habit of his.

"Daddy! You're home!" Angelo's face lit up like fairy lights once he saw his dad walk in the kitchen. His small form scrambling down the steps hastily that he almost trips on his own feet. "Oh careful!" You grabbed his arm just in time to keep him upright, his small form in fits of giggles as he ran towards his dad, Shawn scooping him up with ease with a laugh of his own, pure happiness radiating off the two.

"Good morning buddy." Shawn rested the boy on his hip effortlessly, sleepy grin on his face with a bed head of unruly curls to match. It was a pleasing sight to say the least as Shawn wore nothing but his gray sweatpants, chest completely bare, v-line in full view, and muscles all flexed as he tries to balance Angelo in his arms.

Shawn is a very hot dad, definitely no doubt about that.

Once Angelo got his fair share of kisses from his father—giggles, squeals and all—he was placed by Shawn on his high stool across you, the dad rounding the kitchen island until he reached your side, head dipping to give you a loving peck on the lips.

"Good morning beautiful." Shawn smiled, pure adoration coating his beautiful features, a look that will never fail to make your heart flutter. "Good morning to you too handsome." You hummed, giving him another peck before you turned your attention back on the task of dividing the bacon on each plate.

"Daddy! Daddy! I saw Santa last night!" You and Shawn shared a look, your head nudging towards Angelo to say that you've already had a deal that it was his turn whenever Angelo asks about Santa again.

Shawn only nodded with a chuckle as he turned to his son, a fake surprise expression on his face. "You did?" He asked, feigning curiosity that made Angelo only nod with giggles.

Shawn left your side to walk over to the little boy, sitting right beside him and giving him his full attention to show that he was very interested to what his son has to say.

Your heart melted at the sight of pure excitement and joy on Angelo's face as you walked over to their side, placing their plates of home cooked breakfast right in front of them.

"Thank you honey." Shawn flashed you a quick smile before his attention was back to Angelo since the boy was too keen on telling his father his story. "Was his beard really long?" Shawn asked, just feeding the boys excitement with his new found discovery that Santa was real, well, sort of.

You went right back to where you were standing before to eat your own meal, just observing your two boys across from you in silence.

"Yup! It reached his belly! And Mommy was there too! And they were kissing!"

You almost choked with your coffee at Angelo's statement while Shawn tried his hardest to suppress his laugh, replacing his amusement with shock as his mouth turned into a shape of an O.

"They were what?!" The dad gasped in the most overly exaggerated way he could muster, and it took everything in your power to not hurl something at him. Instead, you just roll your eyes, keeping quiet as you let Shawn handle it in whatever way he prefers.

"Mommy and Santa were kissing just by the tree!" You couldn't help but be amused at the boy's memory as he didn't even seem like he was fully awake last night. But here he is, telling his dad that he just saw you kissing 'Santa Claus', which is not even at all surprising since Angelo does tell the both of you everything.

"Now I'm jelly that you got to see Santa Clause." Shawn leaned down to pout at Angelo, the little boy only patting his father's head in the most adorable way with a soft 'it's okay daddy you'll see him soon too' leaving his lips.

"And well, mommy is definitely going to be in big trouble with daddy." Shawn turned to you as he shot you a playful glare, sitting straight up with his arms crossed over his chest to seem mad, although that smug smirk on his lips was a clear indication that his words do have an underlying meaning in them. He even threw in a wink as if you didn't get it the first time. You felt your cheeks heat up, your legs unconsciously pressing together as you broke eye contact with your man.

"Didn't Santa leave you some presents Angelo?" You cleared your throat, quickly changing the subject and diverting the little boy's attention. You did not miss the chuckle from Shawn as he grinned wide, all proud at himself for still having that effect on you no matter what, a blessing and a curse in your part really.

"He did?" Angelo craned his neck to glance at the Christmas tree, his eyes twinkling even more once he saw the number of presents placed underneath it. "Can I open them now? Pretty please can I? I can't wait until Christmas." You couldn't suppress your giggle as Angelo tried his best to sport the cutest puppy eyes that he could. It was already hard to resists the boy anyway so him being all adorable was just the icing on the cake.

You turned to the boy's dad only to catch him looking at you already with an expression you couldn't quite pinpoint. You raised a brow at him to which Shawn only returned with a nervous smile, his sudden change in attitude only making your curiosity grow as to what's going on inside his head.

Shawn looked away first with a faint blush on his cheeks, leaning on the counter as he spared his son his full attention again. "You can open one right now after you finish your breakfast buddy."

Angelo lets out a victorious glee at that, face all bright with a smile to match as he munched his meal, and never has he ever finished his breakfast that quick in his entire existence.

* * *

"Go ahead and pick one with your name on it." Shawn chuckled as he ruffled Angelo's hair, the morning sun shining through the windows and illuminating the entire living room.

Shawn sat down beside you on the plush white couch, his arm slinging over your shoulder as he stared at you with a certain look on his face, an almost awestruck expression with a hint of nervousness.

"What's gotten into you?" You giggled, pushing the curl that landed on his forehead back, his smile sweet as a soft sigh came out of him. "Nothing, I just love you so much." The tone in Shawn's voice made you question if it really was nothing, because it truly does seem that there was something on his mind. Plus, being so close to his side, hand laying soft against his bare torso, you felt how his heartbeat picked up the pace all of a sudden.

Before you could even ask him about it some more though, Angelo's voice echoed throughout the whole space. "This one!"

You tore your eyes off of Shawn to see Angelo hurling a present towards the both of you, the little boy sporting an all-knowing smile as he so obviously picked the biggest one to open first. It was an oddly shaped present, the wrapping paper not going in one direction and is all crumpled, a very big sign that Shawn surely wrapped this with his own bare hands. You kind of already have a hunch on what it is, even if Shawn didn't tell you, the length of it was kind of a dead giveaway.

A hearty laugh was heard from Shawn as he shook his head at his son. "Of course you've got the big one, open it up bud and let's see what it is." Angelo tore up the paper with no mercy at all, grin all wide and growing even wider as his gift slowly took form in a shape of a mini guitar in a black case that was smooth and sleek.

"Woah! Santa gave me a guitar!" The little boy exclaimed, his enthusiasm rubbing off of you as you couldn't stop grinning yourself.

Shawn stood from his place to help Angelo open the case, the six-stringed instrument coming into view in all its polished wood glory just seconds later. You could make out the engraved initials A.M. on the corner of the mini guitar and Angelo was more than thrilled when his dad pointed it out.

"I'm going to be like you Daddy!" The look on Shawn's face was the most heartwarming thing that you've had the pleasure of seeing first hand, the pure joy and pride painting his face at the words of his son melting your heart over and over. Shawn could only pull Angelo in for a hug, lips pressing on top of his head, knowing that if he spoke, he'd get all teary-eyed.

"Anyway bud, Auntie Liyah and Grandma are coming over in a few minutes to take you to the mall so let's go get you bundled up." Your brows furrowed in confusion as Shawn spoke. The dad only gave you a quick glance, mouthing a quick 'tell you later' while Angelo shouted in glee, his little body springing up as he ran back to his room, Shawn on his tail with the guitar in hand.

Once they were gone and out of sight, as if on cue, the doorbell rang. You walked to the door to open it, Karen and Aaliyah greeting you with sweet smiles, the two of them all covered in sweaters and coats due to the winter weather.

"They'd be out in a second, Angelo's just gone to change." You said, opening the door wider for them to come inside. Aaliyah was the first to come inside, pulling you in for a warm hug, squeezing you tight before pulling away with an expression you couldn't quite understand. She was a bit emotional and you could only be curious as to why.

"You okay?" You asked, brows furrowed in concern to which Aaliyah only nodded with a giggle. "Never better."

Karen on the other hand was looking at you oddly, her eyes all glossed up as she reached to cup your face with both hands. "Shawn is so lucky to have you." She breathed out, a soft coo escaping your lips as you wrapped your arms around her.

"And I am so lucky to have your son too." You whispered, though more questions only piled itself up in your brain as this wasn't how you normally greet each other. Well, not this emotional at least.

"There's my favorite Mendes!" You and Karen turned to see Angelo jumping in Aaliyah's arms, the little boy all giggles and was now wrapped in his fluffy coat and jumper.

"What about me?" Shawn pouted as he emerged from the hallway, now wearing a white shirt instead of his bare chest from moments ago.

"Hello to you too brother." Aaliyah placed Angelo back on the ground to hug Shawn, the older brother giving her a kiss on the cheek with the loudest smack, making his sister groan as she pushes him away jokingly.

"Hi mum, I've missed you." Shawn approached his mum next with a bear hug. Karen pulled away and did the same thing by cupping Shawn's face, the curly-headed boy chuckling as he pulled his mother back in for a hug, whispering something in her ear that you didn't catch.

"We should get going before the mall gets even more packed." Aaliyah butted in, Angelo's tiny hands already in hers as the aunt gave her mum a knowing nod.

"Yeah we should. You two will just catch us later back at home yeah?"

"Yup. We'll drive down there later and spend the night. We haven't packed Angelo's stuff yet so we'll just bring it with us."

You may have been filthy rich now for the number of times you've grown so lost just by the last hour or so. Shawn didn't tell you any of this at all hence why you have completely no idea as to what this man's plan for today is. Hell, you didn't even know he had one as you only thought you'd spend all day in the house just relaxing and being cozy.

The next thing you knew you were already bidding goodbyes to the two women even if you've just said hello not even five minutes ago. Angelo small hand waving at you as they disappeared into the hallway, leaving you alone with a grinning man once you closed the door shut.

You walked over to him with a brow raised. "Why is everyone acting so weird all of a sudden?" Shawn only shrugged as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you to his body as his head dipped down to give you a chaste kiss. "Hmm, I don't know what you're talking about."

Shawn didn't give you a chance to let out any more questions as he keeps distracting you with his lips and his soft groans the more he deepens the kiss.

It was when he suddenly pulled away with that same nervous smile from earlier that you thought that he definitely was hiding something.

"I have an early gift for you too my love." He whispered, hot breath brushing against your lips and your heart beat only quickened from there. "Meet me in the music room." He added, letting go of you fully as you walked towards the music room with nothing but so many questions inside your head.

Shawn joined you just seconds later with a box in his hand, his jitters starting to show as he breathing started to get uneven just a little bit. He took your hand and beckoned you over to sit on the piano bench, you not missing how his hand was starting to get clammy.

His nervousness was starting to rub off on you as he handed you the box. Your eyes searching his for answer and he only gave you a shy smile. "Open it love."

You lifted the lid off to see two pieces of paper, pages torn from a notebook side by side inside a frame. You could make out his messy handwriting, so many words scribbled on it, some crossed out, others fully blackened. But what stood out from you the most was the clear tear stains, blotching up some of the ink and blurring some of the words, the state of the pieces of paper the first thing you focused on the you didn't bother and read it yet.

"It's a song I wrote for you." Shawn spoke, voice shaky as let's out a nervous chuckle. You tore your eyes away from the frame to look at him with a small pout on your lips.

Just then it made sense why the pages looked beaten and bruised, because it was the original piece he wrote the song on. He gave you the original draft, all his emotions poured into real, physical writing, the pieces of paper as a first hand witness as to what he went through while writing this song. He was showing you everything instead of just playing you the finished and produced product. In this way, he made it more special because it was all him, all the scribbles and tears, raw and untouched. No filters, no corrections, just pure him, flaws, imperfections and all.

It was tugging at your heart how sweet and thoughtful his gift was, just the sheer thought of him writing something for you was already making you emotional that the water works was just one tap away. "Did you cry writing this song?"

"I may or may not have shed a few tears. But it's all happy tears I promise." Shawn flashed you a reassuring smile, hand coming up to cup your cheek, thumb stroking your skin lovingly.

"Can I hear it?"

Shawn chuckled, hand leaving your face to lift the keylid up to reveal the black and white tiles. "Why'd you think we're sitting here on the piano honey?"

You watched him attentively when his fingers hovered over the keys, his hands shaking as spluttered. "Okay so uhm, I uh—"

"Bub what's wrong?"

"I'm just really nervous. I really hope you'll like it." Shawn confessed, a soft chuckle escaping his lips as he looks at you shyly. You scooted closer to him as you rested his gift on your lap, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek as you said, "I'm pretty sure I'll love it Shawn."

He took a deep breath as he nodded, closing his eyes momentarily before his fingers started to play. The beautiful melody echoed around the room as you only listened, his beautiful voice following suit right after, his words invading your ears and going straight to your heart.

(a/n - the tune of the songs is this right here the lyrics below are all mine by the way so yeah. i suggest listening to it while continue on reading aha)

Waking up next to you; bodies intertwined; Hearts beating as one, so glad to call you mine; One look in your eyes and I tend to fall more every time;

It may sound cheesy but honey, you make my heart race; I think it's time for me, to pick up the pace; You truly own my heart and I wouldn't want it any other way;

And now I've got a few things to say,

Oh I'm the luckiest man; to ever have live; To have you in my arms makes me feel all the love, bliss and pure happiness; You're the only one I'll make love to; only one that I'll kiss;

Early in the morning, and late at night; You're the most beautiful girl, all your heart and your mind;

You are the one I want to spend rest of my life; Now it's left with me asking; Will you do me the honor of being my wife?

You felt your world stop at his question, more tears blurring your vision as you stared at him in complete and utter surprise. "What?"

Shawn lets out a nervous chuckle, eyes also tearing up as he looks at you with nothing but pure admiration. His fingers brushed with yours as he reached over to hold the box for you. "Take the frame out of the box honey." He whispered ever so gently, your brain still slowly processing what's happening as it feels like you're having an outer body experience.

With trembling hands, you slowly held the edges of the frame, lifting it up and setting it aside to see his hand writing again, but bigger and bolder this time. Four words, fourteen letters just staring right at you, a shiny diamond ring sitting right below it to match.

"Will you marry me?" Shawn repeated the question that was written on the box, your tear-filled eyes snapping back to his face and then back to the ring, and then back up to meet his eyes again.

You only nodded at first as you were full on crying now, soft sobs escaping your lips as the words were unable to form due to the numerous emotions swimming inside you. You took one deep and shaky breath as you tried to pull yourself together to at least form a coherent sentence to answer his burning question. Smiling at your man, you softly said, "Yes Shawn, of course I'll marry you."

Shawn's whole body visibly relaxed as he lets out a sigh of relief, his trembling fingers grabbing the ring as his other hand took hold of yours. He pulled it up to his lips first, glossy eyes staring back at yours before finally slipping it on, the ring a perfect fit to match an equally beautiful and perfect moment.

You grabbed his face with both hands as you crashed your lips against his, both of you smiling with tears rolling down your cheeks as nothing but pure euphoria engulfed both of you. A kiss so tender and sweet yet so filled with love that could only make you feel complete, content, fulfilled.

Words can never do justice to how happy you feel right now. You just feel so overjoyed to be able to spend this Christmas surrounded by the people you love and the man of your dreams.

Or in another term, your fiancé.

-:-:-:-:-

Like & Reblog if you enjoyed and lemme know what you think! x

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tsipasce · 4 years

Text

Same Difference Ch.17

A/N: Here is your reward for enduring last week lmao. This one is a bit long, but cutting it up just didn't seem as gratifying so I hope you guys enjoy.

Also, thank you so much for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks on AO3 and FFN-- you guys are too kind :'). I'll try posting more regularly on Tumblr too if ppl wanna read it here. Let me know what y'all think~

There was darkness, then flickers of lights and the occasional overwhelming flow of noises before it ebbed to silence and darkness yet again. First, she felt she was on a hard surface like concrete, then cold metal, then something cushion-like… a bed? Her thoughts were incoherent, presenting more as disjointed words and feelings. Anger, regret, hurt, with a sprinkle of sadness on top. Her body was heavy, every limb feeling as though the blood had been replaced with lead. Her head lolled and she heard someone suddenly shift at her side, the bed dipping under the pressure of said someone leaning on it and over her but was too out of it to open her eyes. Acquiescing, she fell back into unconsciousness.

An indefinite amount of time passed while she was in the darkness before her senses began to return fully. She heard typing, now able to feel a presence nearby. She wanted to open her eyes, but the task seemed too daunting still, simply listening would have to be enough for now.

“I can stand watch for now, if you’d like.” One voice offered, softly.

“What I’d like is to be left alone.” The other replied curtly.

“I see. We’re going to leave in the next few hours, I’ll get everyone ready.”

“You do that.”

Well this guy sounds like a treat… Nanami thought, her sarcasm unsurprisingly returning before the rest of her senses and memories. There were footsteps and then a soft thud, like a door being carefully shut. A couple moments passed before she heard what sounded like a laptop being closed, then footsteps coming towards her, and then silence. She desperately wanted to wake up, but her body refused to cooperate, causing her eyes to flutter behind her eyelids as she struggled in vain to move. She could sense the presence hadn’t left and she felt anxious as to what might happen next before hearing a sigh. She felt a sheet being pulled up to cover her arms, where goosebumps had been forming from the draft in wherever she was.

“I’ll deal with you when I get back.” The voice said with a hint of annoyance, though it was betrayed by its gentle tone. Hearing footsteps growing fainter, a door opened and closed once more. The words themselves were threatening but the way they were spoken, she felt oddly comforted. Falling back into the darkness, she decided to cultivate her energy and try her luck at waking up again later.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Emerging from the darkness again, the pain began immediately. Her head throbbed and she reflexively tried to groan but found her mouth and throat painfully full. Instantly recognizing the feeling, panic set in, the only other thing she could perceive being the desperate need for it to stop. She grabbed the tube, disassembling and reassembling it outside her body. The large obstruction dropped unceremoniously to the floor and she coughed, glad to be rid of it.

“Don’t be so rough with the equipment.”

She rolled her head to the direction of the voice, a bright light hitting her eyes as she struggled to open them for the first time since… Damn. It all came rushing back to her at once, the voice no longer a mystery. Her vision focused and she found herself looking at Overhaul as he sat at her bedside. His mask was on as he stared at her blankly. She stared back for a beat, not knowing how to begin speaking about what brought them to this point. Deciding she should be fully awake and rested for that conversation, she mentally tabled it, opting for their usual banter instead.

“It’s still intact isn’t it?” She cleared her throat, massaging it as she continued, “How long was I out?”

“Three days.”

“THREE DAYS?” Her eyes shot wide, another coughing fit beginning as she raised her voice after not speaking for days.

“Yes, that’s what I said.” He grimaced, moving back a bit at her sudden outburst, “Cough in the other direction.”

“No surprise that your bedside manner could use some work.” She sighed as she adjusted to raise herself up, wincing as her sore muscles tried their best to comply. He promptly rose, putting a pillow behind her as she sat up, his expression blank yet attentive, “Thanks.”

He nodded as he took his seat again and the silence continued, painfully. It felt like their first meeting all over again, neither knowing how to broach the awkward topic. Looking back, Nanami was angry at how insufferably rude he could be but couldn’t ignore her own part in this. A pang of guilt sat heavily in her chest when she remembered how easily she let her emotions get the best of her; she hadn’t told someone off like that in ages. In her mind, it in no way absolved him, but to say it was all his fault would be a lie. In that moment of rage, she… What did I do anyway? She glanced down, now more confused than anything, her brows furrowing before looking at him.

“Let’s chat.”

He readjusted in his chair, leaning back as he crossed his legs and folded his arms across his chest, “Let’s.”

His body language oozed condescension as though she was about to be scolded like a child and she hated it, “Why’d you attack me. Again.”

His eyes narrowed, displeased with how she was beginning their talk,” That was going to be my question to you. I thought we had a deal.”

“What are you talking about? We did—we do—I did not attack you.” she defended. Nanami knew they were both wrong for getting so worked up, but she wouldn’t stoop that low over an argument. “I was wrong, we both were for getting so heated, but I wouldn’t just start throwing hands like that. So again, why did you attack me? I thought… I thought we got passed all that.”

His brow furrowed at the implication, his jaw clenching uncomfortably at the hurt in her voice, “We are. We’re far passed all of that.” He intoned with a level of sincerity that seemed foreign to him. Having spent the past three days chastising himself for putting her in this position, wishing the exchange could be taken back, it was difficult to sound detached. He’d been angry, but harming her had been something he’d put out of his mind some time ago, “I didn’t attack you either…”

They both shared a moment of sincere confusion. Overhaul hadn’t come out unscathed either, having to heal his own head injury as well as a cracked vertebra from the impact once he came to. “Then what the hell happened?” Nanami asked, speaking the question they were both wrestling with. She looked around the room for her bag at the same time Overhaul reached for his laptop.

“We should run tests.” They said in unison. He handed her her notebook from the bag and a pen as they began noting exactly what happened leading up to the explosion. As she recalled the events, there were a number of theories that came to mind, as well as ideas on how to safely perform reenactments of what transpired, but she also remembered the argument beforehand. He was somehow even more quiet than usual, and she could tell his gears were turning that morning, but the hostility seemed so out of the blue. Putting down her pen, he glanced up at her, noticing the sound of her writing had stopped and she was staring down thoughtfully.

“Did you think of something?”

“…Yeah. I did. Why’d you pick a fight with me that day?”

He looked back down at his keyboard and continued typing, “I don’t know what you mean. That little tiff was a joint effort.”

“No, no, no. It may have ended up that way, but you blew up at me after an entire week of solid teamwork. I expect the snide comments and the general air of grumpiness, but that was different… What happened?” He made the mistake of making eye contact with her. She didn’t look angry, just hurt.

Taken aback, all he could manage was “… I don’t know.” He wasn’t sure how to respond to that “emotion” nor did he have any plans to discuss feelings. If he was being honest, he wasn’t even sure why he did it himself. Perhaps it was self-sabotage and he was pushing her away, but to accept that would mean acknowledging they had gotten close; that he had, at some point, made the subconscious decision to stop viewing her as a pawn or even just a colleague, and to indulge the need for far more than their formal arrangement. He wasn’t ready to come to terms with the possible loss of his objectivity when it came to whatever went on between them, but he knew he’d have to confront the undercurrents of their relationship at some point. Right now, they had discovered a possible breakthrough in their research and there was no room for delay. With a ghost of a plan in mind for how to move forward with Nanami, he decided it would be more logical to smooth things over in the immediate moment with Dr. Watanabe; separating the two identities giving him the illusion of control. He continued” But I do know it won’t happen again. That was…unprofessional. How is your head?”

She bit her lip and exhaled, seeing the switch flick in his eyes knowing the wall had been put back up. “It’s... it’s fine. Just a little—no, really sore.” She confirmed with herself, rubbing her hand over the source of the pain to find stiches. Why wouldn’t he just overhaul this? “So, you decided to fix this the old-fashioned way, huh? The stitchwork is impeccable, but why go through the trouble? You could have just—”

“I didn’t want to touch you.”

“… Ouch.” She winced, glancing away as the abrupt response hurt a bit more than she expected.

Realizing it hadn’t been received how he planned, he clarified,” I meant I…didn’t want to use it on you. I was under the impression we had somehow attacked each other and assumed you might not find the prospect of me handling you in that way all that appealing.”

“…Oh. Well, thank you... I don’t mind if you touch me now” he rose a brow at this, “—I mean like to heal or—Oh you know what I mean.” She rolled her eyes before crossing her arms and continuing, “Just… just do it, please.” The last word tacked on with a mumble.

Letting out an amused breath, he rose, motioning her to turn so her back faced him as he removed his gloves. She quickly brushed her hair to the side, missing a few strands. She tensed as he was much closer than she was prepared for, feeling the warmth of his hands against the nape of her neck as he gently gathered the stray hairs and handed them to her to gather in front. Smoothing down the part, he leisurely ran his hands through her hair, losing himself for a second before noticing the tops of her ears had reddened and her breath had quickened at his ministrations. Refocusing, he disassembled the stitches before immediately healing the wound knowing even a millisecond of delay would prove very painful. “Done.”

Cracking her neck and rolling her shoulders, she felt normal again and ready to get out of bed as her muscles had been unused for the better part of three days. Checking the time on her phone on the nightstand she saw it was only 6 am, “So, you wanna go for a run?”

“That’s not funny.”

“Fine, fine. But on a serious note, I think we should head to the lab. I know the deal was 2 weeks bu—”

“You don’t have to bargain. Get cleaned up, I’ll start preparations for testing tomorrow.”

She turned to him, brows raised in surprise, “Well okay then. I’ll see you back at the house.”

“See you there.” He said before exiting her room, shutting the door softly.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After a thorough scrubbing and stretching, she felt ready to get back to her remaining paperwork, putting on her favorite chunky turtleneck and sweatpants effectively pulling off the lazy-but-still-fashionable look. Brewing herself a cup of tea and pulling out her workbag, she thought it best to not dwell on all the Feels ™ that had continuously threatened to surface, which was undoubtedly exacerbated by their current living situation.

She was woman enough to admit she stared just a little too long, smiled just a bit too enthusiastically, and was way too excited by even the smallest bits of physical contact with him… But it’s just a crush. She lied to herself as though he hadn’t been the most intellectually stimulating person she’d had the pleasure of talking to. As though she’d ever felt silence more comfortable than their time in the lab or simply sharing meals together. As though— Girl if you don’t concentrate... She chastised herself before attempting to neatly compartmentalize her feelings, refusing to acknowledge just how much more difficult keeping them in check had become. It’s just because you’re all up under each other, it’ll pass.

Refocusing on the task at hand, she opened her laptop and pulled out a well-worn file folder, her gaze turning somber as her fingers traced the bend of it; evidence of the many nights she’d revisited it only to close it when the answers didn’t come. In the past month she’d taken on a patient who seemingly had nowhere to go. Many of her colleagues had turned him away, seemingly too jaded to go through the trouble of dealing with such a case. Nanami herself was puzzled when she reviewed his file, but she knew there was no other option; she had to at least try.

Kenta was a very jovial, large person with a personality to match. Built much like a strongman with tusks not unlike a walrus, he was hard to miss. Before he became her patient, she’d see him making small talk with the other patients, encouraging them though he himself was on the way to chemotherapy, his weight dwindling by the day. The previous doctors told him that he had osteosarcoma, a rare form of bone cancer. It was seemingly exacerbated by his quirk that gave him dense bones; they were perfect for diving, but apparently came at this very high price. The treatment had shown mild success, but her predecessors had decided his condition was becoming too advanced and an amputation was in order. After that visit, he attempted to keep his jovial nature, but his physical appearance continued to deteriorate, the medication and tests taking their toll. Full-hardy laughs were interrupted by coughing fits, round cheeks flexed into a habitual smile were replaced with gaunt hollows. Nanami couldn’t help but feel was cruel to be given such great power and still be unable to solve this problem.

She agonized, sincerely perplexed as to why someone as healthy and active as Kenta could have developed such an aggressive and rare form of cancer so quickly. It didn’t helped that after the first doctor’s diagnosis, the subsequent three doctors took little to no efforts to confirm said diagnosis, so she remained thoroughly unconvinced. She was a prodigy in her own right, but that alone couldn’t negate seniority. To go against the other doctors, she would need substantial proof of her theory—and also a theory to begin with.

Nanami was stirred from her thoughts by the sound of the silo being activated, as Overhaul stepped out. It had been hours since she had last gotten up as day turned into late night, too engrossed in her task. She glanced up for a moment, giving an absent-minded “hey” before returning to her work. It was unlike her to brush him off so quickly, and he assumed there were still hard feelings from earlier. Approaching her, he was about to speak before he caught a glimpse of her screen and notes, the file folder and its contents now haphazardly splayed on the coffee table, a few with drops of moisture on them.

“Didn’t I tell you no drinking in the living roo—” he stopped short, hearing a small sniffle escape her, before she attempted to cover it up by clearing her throat.

“Sorry, yeah, no drinking in the living room.” She laughed emptily, gathering the papers that were stained.

Seeing people cry was usually... uninspiring to him, to say the least; he couldn’t understand it, the need for such dramatic displays as an adult. But he found himself making exceptions more and more; she wasn’t one to throw herself on the floor in a tantrum—at least not seriously. Her tears were stifled, indignant, and his curiosity—yes, we’ll call it “curiosity”— got the better of him.

“What are you doing? Crying?”

“No!... Maybe.” She stubbornly corrected, further averting her gaze, hoping to use her hair as a curtain to obscure her face. Pausing for a beat, his attention turned to what he presumed was the source. He read over it as she attempted to fix her face. His brow furrowed, and Nanami turned back to see what he was doing. “Why do you care?”

“Osteosarcoma seems like an odd diagnosis for someone with his age and history.” He noted, choosing not to answer her question.

“That’s what I said!” she instinctually replied before remembering herself, “I mean quit snooping, this is patient-doctor information. It’s illegal to share.”

“Yet you brought it outside your office, to a yakuza base.” He deadpanned, pointing out the hypocrisy, taking a seat next to her on the couch. She pursed her lips, continuing to mull over theories, assuming he’d get bored and leave her be. “If not osteosarcoma, what do you think it could be?”

Knowing discretion was one of his strong suits, she decided to humor him. “I’m not sure. The tumor grew extremely fast and they began chemo almost immediately, so I didn’t get the benefit of a fresh diagnosis. He’d been perfectly healthy otherwise and his line of work kept him pretty active.”

“What’s his occupation?”

“He’s a commercial diver, it’s pretty fitting since his quirk gives him a lot of walrus-like qualities.”

“Sounds hazardous.”

“You’re one to talk. He’s practically made for it so drowning or being crushed under the pressure is near-impossible for him.”

“I was referring to all of the equipment. The fact that he’s kept all of his limbs up to this point is impressive.”

Slowly turning to him, a tired look on her face, she replied “… Your compliments are so very strange.”

Shrugging he continued, “It’s not that odd. The number of divers and sailors I’ve seen at port with mutilated legs is not small.”

Nanami was mid eye-roll when an epiphany struck her. Her eyes went wide, and she began frantically rummaging through the paperwork. "Shit-- wait, online!" grabbing her laptop, she began typing in a frenzy as Overhaul watched calmly. Finding Kenta's online records in the hospital database, she read a file from a month before his diagnosis stating he had been in a diving accident that severely fractured his leg where his tumor now was. She let out a shaky breath of excitement, "MO. It's fucking Myositis Ossificans! This explains why the 'tumor' grew so quickly. It's because it wasn't even really a tumor, just his body's response to a traumatic injury-- This is amazing!"

He felt the corner of his mouth tug upward, as she practically wiggled in genuine excitement. “That diagnosis sounds much more appropriate.”

Facing him on the couch, she reflexively grabbed him by his shoulders, lost in excitement, before realizing what she was doing. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to just grab you like that,” she hurriedly removed her hands before he waved it off. “It’s just... I’ve been poring over this since I got this case but hadn’t thought to make that connection since he never mentioned the injury.” Thinking back for a moment, it dawned on her, “... how did you know to ask?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb, it doesn’t suit you.”

Smiling, he rose, walking to the kitchen, “Would you like a cup?”

Very aware he was evading her question, she rolled her eyes smiling in kind “Sure. Of what?” She wrote down her final notes before putting away the files, tucking them and her laptop away as she waited for an answer.

Bringing over two cups of sake and the bottle, he sat next her with his own before sliding over her cup. She gave him a look and he sighed, “Consider it your reward for your work today. But don’t get used to it, my living room consumption rule still stands.”

She raised her hands in surrender, chuckling before taking a sip. “Oh! Let’s play a game.”

His brows furrowed as he continued to face forward still enjoying his drink,” Do I seem like a man who plays games?”

“Well, judging by the shogi board, I’d say yes.”

“… Just set the board.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit before starting the odd conversation, chatting and playing until they were on their fourth cup. Nanami was admittedly tipsy by this point and decided to ask something that had been on her mind for a while now with the aid of her liquid courage. If ever there was an opportunity, it was now, “Hey, why didn’t you ever become a doctor?” The question caught him off guard as he stopped drinking and peered off into the distance thoughtfully. His lips parting for a moment to speak before closing again to consider his answer.

“It would be difficult to treat people you can’t touch.”

“Hm… sounds like a copout. I wear gloves on the job at least 80% of the time and a lot of the non-surgical work that requires touching could easily be done by a nurse. So, what’s the real reason?”

“Well, you’re awfully bold tonight.”

“Eh, it’s your fault anyway,” she reminded him, toying with the sake glass. “So, are you gonna tell me or not?”

He considered her for a second before answering, “Win this game and I’ll tell you.”

“Easy.” She shot back before considering another outcome, “and what if I lose?”

He smiled easily, her stomach flipping as a glint of mischief was evident in his eyes, “Just try your best to win.”

Nanami was determined, or at least she convinced herself she was, not wanting to confront her curiosity at what he would do if she lost … or what he would do to me… Ok, let me put down this sake before I get a life sentence to horny jail. Recomposing herself a bit, she observed the board, stifling a smirk when she saw her path to victory. It was a moderately long game, but the outcome was in her favor as she took his king. Raising the piece betwixt her fingers, she smirked, “Now spill the beans.”

He stared into the proverbial abyss, slightly peeved at the loss, priding himself as a more-than proficient player before tonight. “Give me a moment.” He said casually raising a finger as he cleared his throat. Taking a measured sip from his cup before locking eyes with her, “I have a duty.” Nanami shot him an unsatisfactory look before he clarified, continuing, “Pops took me in when I had nothing to offer. This,” he began as he leered at his hands, recalling the destruction they regularly wrought, “is what I was meant to become in order to repay him. Bringing the yakuza back to their former glory and carrying on his legacy are my primary objectives. My time is limited since he’s not as young as he used to be. The years of schooling it would take to reap the benefits he deserves would prove much too long. Indulging in a dream like that is not in my nature, even if I did have the time. That is why.”

Her smile dulled as she processed his response. She wasn’t self-righteous enough to impose her own ideals on him, but it seemed like such a waste. His leading questions tonight were just one of many examples of his expertise. Even without the formal schooling he had a level of mastery that could easily earn him a degree, and coupled with his research skills, he could do a world of good. But instead here he was, content with just the opportunity to pay his debts. For someone so arrogant, he thought surprisingly little of his own nature. Maybe someday someone could convince him he didn’t have to carry around this weight all the time. Still very tipsy, she responded,” Well, if it’s a dream of yours to begin with, your nature can’t be all that bad now can it?” At this he knitted his brows, trying to accept the possibility. Seeing his hesitation, she continued, “You can do both, you know. Give yourself some more credit, bird brain.” She slurred the last insult, finishing her sake off with a gulp, not wanting to sound too soft. Feeling the consequences of her actions, she swayed sleepily in her seat before closing her eyes.

The next thing she knew, she felt herself being nudged awake, “Come on, get up. You need to get into bed.”

“But it’s sooo comfy here. Why are you being such a buzzkill, Kai?” she whined as he grasped her forearms, encouraging her to rise from her seat.

Stopping in his tracks, he asked a bit taken aback, “Where did you hear that name?”

“Your Poppy Pops told me” She almost sang, a grin plastered on her face.

“…Do not ever use the phrase ‘Poppy Pops’ again. Also, if couches were meant for sleeping, beds wouldn’t exist.” He responded irritated, though he handled her like porcelain, still remembering how unpleasant the last three days had been. Guiding Nanami to her room, he finally got her to lay down after tuning out a slew of other ridiculous nickname proposals, the drowsiness setting in as soon as her head hit the pillow. Knowing it would be too much work convincing a now drunk Nanami to get under the covers, he begrudgingly put a spare blanket over her. Before leaving, he looked back at her sleepy form. As much as they could grate each other’s nerves, no one had ever thought to encourage him or challenge his own thinking besides his father. He had never been a warm or sentimental person, having to try thrice as hard to grasp emotions that came so naturally to others, but she had planted a seed of doubt. Having always been so confident in his own lacking, he found a part of himself excited to be proven wrong for the first time. Before closing the door softly, he spoke “Thank you, Nanami.”

#overhaul #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #bnha #mha overhaul #overhaul fanfiction #mha fanfic #overhaul x oc #bnha fanfic #mha oc #overhaul x nanami #nanami watanabe #same difference #mc fanart #multichapter #fanfiction #fanfic #overhaul fanfic

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mariogalaxytwo · 4 years

Note

What are your top 5 recs for Bakudeku fics?

okay first of all anon fucking kiss me rn ive been wanting to do some bakudeku fic recs for FUCKING AGES lets have sex

second of all sorry if this is late my phone doesnt like giving me notifs for asks ://

alriiight onto the fic recs idk if u wanted it to b ranked but these will just b in very vague order. also these recs will all be fairly popular fics so sorry if you’ve already read em.

first would be bluebird by etherealbeing. it was the first bakudeku longfic i ever read n im still biased towards it to this day. i love it so much, it’s a wrong number au and the humour is exactly what i love, great emotional parts too, i absolutely adore it. good if you want something fairly lighthearted

secondly theres the way you used to do by edema_ruh. one of the longest bakudeku fics so far at 570,000 words with a sequel in the works to boot. it might seem a bit much (because it is) but imo it’s well worth the length. deku turns into a ghost that only kacchan can see (edit: not permanently dont worry) and lots of angst ensues. it’s the slowest slow burn ive ever read, so if you’re impatient with romance it might frustrate you a bit, but i looooove slow burn so i adored this one. development was wonderful, katsuki’s growth was painstakingly real, just phenomenal all around. please try to give it a shot even if the word count is daunting.

theres also the absolute truth by glon_morski its been a while since i read this one so i don’t remember much, basically katsuki is kidnapped by villains and forcibly made to admit the horrible things he did and said to deku as a child. big on the guilt thing so its good if u like that, however please bear in mind that it is sort of unrequited love so if you need a conclusive getting-together in a fic in order to feel satisfied then skip this one bc they do not do that in this. very angsty please heed the tags for this one (and the above one too tbh)

2645 miles by mynameis152 i was a bit iffy on at first, the age difference kinda put me off even if it wasnt that much and i didnt like how they fell in love basically in the space of a few days (i like bakudeku for the ten years of slow burn alright) but honestly this fic was just great. its a roadtrip au with a heavy dose of Action and darkish themes (because katsuki and eijirou r kinda on the run from the police lmao) and it doesnt rly play to bakudekus canon strengths as a ship since its such a different au but its just a great story nonetheless.

ending on a lighthearted one theres what’s your type by sapphicflower! pro heroes kacchan and deku go on a gameshow for hero partners to see how well they know each other, thats the main premise, and it ends in the lovely sappy romantic realisations and its ur typical idiots to lovers its classic pro hero bakudeku its Theyve Been In Love Forever And Only Just Realised, Your Honour. i loved it, hopefully you will too.

and thats five! you didnt really give any specific parameters so i just thought of some favourites off the top of my head! if u ever wanna talk about bakudeku u can shoot me a dm or send more asks im always happy to talk about them!!

#also if u just wanted the links n didnt want me harping on abt each one im sorry jvhvj #ask

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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817

Does it make you nervous when someone does something dangerous showing off? If it’s something supposed to be taken seriously, like an athlete doing a risky ice skating spin, then I’d be nervous in that I don’t want them to fail. But if it’s someone doing something rather foolish like doing a moonsault off a roof or putting out a candle with their bare fingers, the mischievous side of me will silently half-wish something goes wrong haha. Have you ever had to take a pee test? You mean a urinalysis? Yeah. Angela’s doctor mom suspected I had UTI a few weeks ago so she had written up a recommendation for me to take a ‘pee test,’ as you put it. Have you ever had to supply someone with clean pee? I mean, I did for the aforementioned urinalysis lol. And what do you mean by clean pee? How is that different from dirty pee? Lmao Are you a bit of a nerd? Guh, I loved calling myself this is a teenager...because...y’know...I was a teenager and wanted to sound cool and ~not like the other girls~ lol but I was definitely trying too hard at the time. I don’t consider myself a nerd now and I don’t think I ever was. Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? Just my own dishes for the most part, but that’s it.

Are you good at HTML? At one point I was, because it was once a common practice on Tumblr to customize your themes, add your own pages, and basically just mix up your blog. I dunno if normal Tumblr still does this haha but if I tried to do this today I’d be rusty for sure. Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? Nope. I always feel like I’d get caught. Most interesting place you've ever visited? I’d say Shanghai was the most interesting mostly because it was SO incredibly first-world and the whole place was just so modern, so technologically forward and the experience was so jarring considering the dumpsite I live in. It was very daunting seeing all the bright lights, people dressing up so well, luxury shops on every corner, and how rich their nightlife was. Have you ever had anything tailored? Yes, my lola knows how to do that so whenever I need my clothes adjusted I’d just ask her to do it. Fan of Walton Ford artwork? Ever even heard of him? Nope, haven’t heard of him. Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? I never get my eyebrows done; I don’t find it necessary. They’re naturally on the thick side, but from years of trichotillomania and plucking my left eyebrows, the hair eventually never 100% came back and the end of that eyebrow has juuuust a bit of a bald patch on it. It’s only noticeable for those who know about my trich, but still. What color is your bedroom door? It’s brown, but the bottom part sports a lot of chipped-off paint due to my dog scratching on it to get in and out of my room for the last twelve years. Do you value your personal space, or do you hate being alone? I value both since I tend to need either at different points. Have you ever been hunting? Never. Your take on one-night stands? Are they okay? You do you, and it’s definitely okay. It’s just not my thing. Do you always wear a bra? Not when I’m at home. I for sure haven’t worn one in a while due to the pandemic forcing me to stay home, but I did wear a bra when I went to the hospital a couple of weeks ago. Felt so weird lol. Do you have a wrist watch? No. I always lose them under my watch (hehe) so I just stopped wearing them altogether so that I don’t keep wasting my parents’ money :/ Do you usually jog or go for walks? I’ll sometimes go for walks, but for leisure. I don’t think of them as workouts at all. Could you be happier? Yeah, I think this is how most of us, if not all of us, feel.

Don't you just love aerial views? Like...from airplanes? Yessss, I love them a lot. When my dad books flights for us I always call dibs on a window seat as I never get tired of seeing cities and towns from the sky. Do you own a pair of Dr. Martins? As far as I know it’s Martens, and no I don’t. I’ve always thought they were too chunky for my liking. Do you like wine? Hate it, I never liked its bitter taste. My girlfriend and some of my aunts love wine though so sometimes I’ll have a glass or two and pretend to like it so I can spend time with them haha. Do you scrapbook? Nope. We do have scrapbooks at home, but it was my mom who made all of them for mine and my siblings’ baby photos. Have you ever been told not to do something you desperately wanted to do? Of course. ^ did you listen? Not always. Why are the angry birds so mad at the pigs? ...I don’t care. I never played the game actually. Would you feel bad about breaking up with a kid on his birthday? Kid sounds weird in this sentence lol, and yeah I’d say that’s a pretty shitty thing to do. There are 365 days in a year and unless my significant other has been an abusive shithead, I’d pick a date other than their birthday to break up with them. Have you ever sung anyone the happy birthday song? On their birthday, I guess...? How many followers do you have on Twitter? At the moment, 722. Do you like Hello Kitty? Not really. Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? Not that I can recall. My sister has always been the one better at those than me, she wins something every time. Though there was one time I was at the arcade and was just fucking around with the claw machines until I saw a kimono-wearing Hello Kitty left behind in one of them; I figured someone won it but didn’t want it, so I gleefully took it and gave it to my sister who’s super into Hello Kitty AND anything Japanese haha. Is there an actual word for those? I call it the claw machine. Have you seen the movie Remember Me? I never have but I remember wanting to because Robert Pattinson is in it, heh. Do you like thunderstorms? Love them. I can see myself living somewhere where it rains all year round. Have you ever been horseback-riding? I’ve ridden a horse before but I don’t think it counts as horseback-riding? It was part of the itinerary on one of our trips to Tagaytay nearly a decade ago, and a skilled rider was maneuvering the horse for me. I was like 12 and didn’t know any better, but today I absolutely wouldn’t take part in some tourist attraction thing that would use and tire out animals. Have you ever seen your naked back? I’ve had to turn around and look at it in the mirror a few times because I have scoliosis and I had wanted to see the point where my back starts to curve. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Noooooo. I hate doing PDA myself so I’ll likely be sheepish at my own wedding actually, considering the fact that I wanna invite like 400 people lol. Do you think girls generally look better with their natural hair color? I don’t base attractiveness off of hair color, so I don’t really care. Who is the last person you held hands with? Gabie. Was ages ago though. Would you agree that wedding cake is so much better than any other cake? (: I mean, wedding cake isn’t even a type of cake lol. I think cheesecake is the superior cake, though. Do you feel awkward with strangers in elevators? Not at all. It’s a lot more awkward if I know the person but am not close with them or don’t know them all that well, so then I’d have to spend the next few seconds figuring out if I wanna make small talk or just ignore them altogether. Do you cuss excessively when you're upset? I can cuss excessively regardless of my mood. I don’t do it as much as I did when I was a teenager, but my potty mouth will still slip out every now and then. Would you rather cheat and tell your other about it or be cheated on? Eugh, this is an awful question. Can we just go with no cheating? Do you own a pair of shorts that could be mistaken for underwear? I don’t think so. Have you ever felt free after losing something once important to you? Yeah, I was recently reading my old survey answers from 2015 when my breakup was fresh, and apparently I was a super happy camper who felt free as fuck when Gab and I had broken things off so I guess that’s one example lol. Have you ever been to a rave? Nope, no raves for me. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? I’ve only eaten a whole banana once my whole life and that was a few weeks ago when I had a fever. Mom said it’ll be good for my body so I was made to eat one for breakfast. It wasn’t all that bad, but it will still take a whole lot for me to have to eat another banana. Have you ever felt like you can burn the world down? I’ve never been that angry before, no. Can you read/speak in any language(s) other than English? Yuh, Filipino is my first language.

Have you ever had sex outside? I’ve had it outside but we were still hidden, like inside a car lol if that still counts. Have you ever been outside naked? ^ Same situation. Do you like guys with long, brown, shaggy, flippy hair? If it looks majestically taken care of, yep. Do you have a beauty mark? I don’t. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No. I’ve been terrified of them ever since watching The Shining, and I don’t think I’ll ever be up to entering one since I hate getting lost. Do you think you're the best thing that's happened to someone? I dunno. I don’t really need this big of a validation, so it’s genuinely fine if no one thinks of me in this way. Is the best thing that's ever happened to you a person? Yes, but also a dog. What's your boyfriend's style, or what style tends to attract you? I’ve observed that Gab jumps from one style to another. Some days she’ll dress like a sophisticated aunt and wear nice flowy dresses, other days she’ll opt to look a bit tomboyish and wear a graphic or tie-dye t-shirt and jeans. Do you know anyone who works in a cafe? Yeah, my cousin Bia. How many songs do you think you know all of the lyrics do? Hundreds is a safe guess. Do you enjoy jazz or blues music? I enjoy both, but I like jazz a tad bit more.

What's the most emotionally painful thing you've ever been through? Finding out about Nacho. My grandpa’s death hurt as hell too, but back then I had no choice but to harden up and force myself to be ok and focus because I had an insanely important college entrance exam coming up five days after his passing, and I couldn’t afford to get distracted. With the news of Nacho, I was doing nothing that night and I was completely vulnerable when it hit me. How many band t-shirts do you own that are black? I only have one band t-shirt, and it’s black. Can you make a clover shape with your tongue? Nope. Would you agree that Beck is a musical genius? (: Beyoncé lost to him for Album of the Year at the Grammys for her 2013 album which she highkey should’ve won, so he’s kinda on my shitlist for that looooool Do you ever feel like the main people in your life don't know you at all? No. I wear my heart on my sleeve for the most part, so I don’t have to worry about that. Do you like Ben Folds? I’ve never heard of him. Do you watch The Voice? Nope. Do you have a protective father? To an extent. He hates catcallers and always tells me to tell him if there are any around when we’re out so he can beat them up. He’s not crazy protective to the point of being possessive or overly strict though. Have you ever worn a headdress? Just for school productions when we would represent cultures that have headdresses.

Last thing that caused you to get sick? A UTI. What's the biggest misconception about you, personally? It annoys me to no goddamn end when people say or assume that I’m fake. It’s called being polite and civil even around people I don’t like which I’m pretty sure is more mature than fake, dude. Have you ever seriously thought you loved someone without telling them? No. Are you squeamish? About certain things. I hate watching clips of people having their bones break or get dislocated, people passing out, too much blood, among other stuff.

#survey #surveys

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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May 2nd-May 8th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from May 2nd, 2020 to May 8th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

What are some of the weirdest things you've Googled while researching for your story?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

For Whispers of the Past, the weirdest thing I googled was probably: "puncture wounds versus lacerations" and "chance of survival after getting stabbed." Pretty sure I also looked up: "treatment for arsenic poisoning," "lethal dose of arsenic," "arsenic in nature," "broken ribs symptoms and treatments," "pneumothorax," "can a horse kill someone by trampling them?" and "how far can you fall without dying?" Basically, just a bunch of medical questions. For another story, I think the weirdest thing I looked up was, "can you take antidepressants and sleeping pills together?" More medical questions

carcarchu

@ cronaj's answer "i swear i'm an author not a serial killer"

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Hmmm.

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I think for me was searching up symptoms of PTSD, eating disorders, and also victims of cheating

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Probably that time trying to research poisonous substances available in Victorian and earlier households with potentially fatal results if ingested but not immediate, and their symptoms/treatments

The answer, incidentally, is that most of them aren't treatable if you've had a high enough dose to get symptoms.

And non-lethal doses tend to have unpleasant long term effects

Deo101 [Millennium]

I don't remember all the crazy stuff I've looked up. What's popping into my head at the moment, though, is I did almost a month of research into time travel paradoxes for a plot that I ended up not using! So that's fun

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Also that Victorians kept arsenic (a white powder) in the same place as sugar (a white powder) in often unmarked containers since literacy was low and labels only work if you can read them

There was far more accidental poisonings from putting arsenic in your tea than I can count

carcarchu

what about having a picture of a skull and cross bones on the arsenic tin

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

I think it was arsenic. Maybe cynanide...

Ahaha

You'd think so wouldn't you?

That's not even going into the whole thing about green dyes for clothing being made from arsenic as well I think and being uh

Literally fatal to wear?

Well done, Victorians.

Let me grab y'all a source for that one

https://youtu.be/K2McemVuG28

Here you go!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh my god what the

Them victorians are so morbid

Did you know that they have a garden of poison

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Welcome to writing historical!

Yes I did

I wanna go

But yeah go back a century or two

Literally everything seems to be poisonous

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Arsenic, radium......damn they don’t follow WHMIS

carcarchu

wasn't even that long ago when they were putting mercury in everything

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Including NORMAL FOOD

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

And toys

Kids were playing with them

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Oh the Bradford Sweets Poisoning was a whole thing!

Hang on

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1858_Bradford_sweets_poisoning

This one is uh

Definitely worse

carcarchu

bruh

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Yeah

There's so much of this...

It's amazing humanity made it this far

So yeah that's what I've googled

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Would that...even fly here nowadays

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

What the arsenic

Nooope

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Hooooo god that is mildly terrifying

Like I make sweets for a living

I don’t even want to think how I’ll feel if I accidentally poisoned 200 people

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

It did lead to modern food hygiene laws and much better regulations on chemists being responsible for their supplies

But yep

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I remember someone telling me “Behind every rule/regulation was someone who got hurt or died”

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Yeahhhh

Sometimes also where there aren't rules because hahaha some companies are shit

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Yeah it’s sucks and it’s even worse because you KNOW they’re just pushing the limits

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Capitalism has always been like that, it's just people can see it a bit more now

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Yeah, the age of information has really exposed the nasty side of things huh Hmmm I think I’ve studied something really different for my webcomic. I was looking into the justice system and how it treated minors

And I had to look up burn victims/homicides soooooooooooo

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Whoops sorry for the ping, I thought you said mirrors not minors and was gonna ask

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh god that would be....completely different

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

I'm writing about vampires, mirrors are more common (concept and word)..

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Yes! I think it’s because back in the day silver was used in mirrors and that’s why you can’t see a vampire’s reflection

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

weirdest thing I searched so far is about er the male modeling industry and how they have to slap cheeks and junks to get the body to fill in clothing

and I wondered "do I need to do a deep dive in this or"

Nutty (Court of Roses)

I tried to look up what damaged vocal cords looked like, so i could show it when Count Bailey got poisoned, but I mostly got body camera shots inside a person's throat, so I had to largely wing it by darkening the veins in his neck lol Other than that, I have to look up Irish slang a lot, as Merlow slips into it more when he gets drunk.

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

I have a twittee thread somewhere about mirrors and vampires

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Okay tuyetnhi I’m a bit more...disturbed yet intrigued by that idea. Nutty yes I noticed that! I liked that small detail actually And Eilidh, i would love to see that twitter thread

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Yeah, I ended up making a deep dive and ho boi

it's darker than I expected LOL

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I tried to look up people getting crushed by cars or falling objects but the videos were very blurry and made me dizzy so I just went fuck it my comic's not realistic anyways I'm winging it

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Probably an extensive search for all things occult? Its such a wide topic so it was daunting to sift through everything, but also really cool to see so many different cultures have been influenced by such things! Ive read some excerpts about the sixth sense and human capabilities too, very interesting!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!) That is the most splendidly weird research I have heard of

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I was trying to research for one of my characters and i'm just

the things they do

I scream everyday

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lol tuyetnhi got me to look it up but all I can find is stuff about sexual assault

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

that's what I mean

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Whoa okay

That’s really dark

Like I had to look up abuse relations

DanitheCarutor

Oh geez, I've looked up a lot of stuff. Recently I Googled public bathrooms and backs of toilets because I'm too lazy to get up and look at my own toilet. SAECKs/SAKs, the price with and without insurance, how it works and if men can use them. (Which was kinda sad that I didn't know they could although the resource was surprisingly hard to find, all except one link I found were about women using them.) I've looked up medical stuff like the different stages of certain cancers, their symptoms, treatments and other things involves like their effect on the person's mental health, if things like physical therapy is needed and the effects of the treatment along with the types of treatment needed. Also the cost with and without insurance, as well as cancer treatment facilities for people with low income. Various mental illnesses/disorders, the different types treatment, the effects of the treatment, as well as cost and facilities that offer free/cheaper treatment for people with low income. Lactose intolerance, celiac disease, gaslighting, trauma brought on by abuse. Things like the mental effects of children taking on adult responsibilities early on, growing up with lack of stability and human trafficking. Types of physical abuse that doesn't leave obvious bruising/scarring, psychological abuse (outside of gaslighting). Court stuff, like legal charges for attempted murder, court procedures. Caregiver programs for family members caring for someone with a severe mental illness. What actions are taken when someone files a charge for being drugged against their consent and the steps that need to be taken if your ID and credit cards/debit cards have been stolen, as well as what the police need do in those situations. Gosh, I can go on and on, just go on forever about all the things I've researched.

Most of it is medical and mental health related.

I feel this is fitting for some of the subjects we've Googled.

DanitheCarutor

Wow, I didn't realize how much I looked at the cost of stuff. Like a good chunk of my research has been dedicated to what different insurances cover, how much, the base price without insurance and payment plans for people in the latter category. I guess the upside is I'll have some knowledge on the different insurance companies if I ever get to a point where I can get it, as well as payment plan options if I'm ever hospitalized.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Googling images of cadaver hands for reference was... not a pleasant experience

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Most recently I was looking for heart dissections. I had to take a break cuz I was making myself feel sick X')

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Searching up burn victims was not fun either

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

also this has made me realize that artists can be a very morbid bunch

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah like dang ya'll lmao

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I know someone who had to look up (a bit gory) "can you strangle/hang someone with your intestines"

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Chances are the audience is not gonna know either so

dunno how much accuracy matters in this situation :p(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I mean....unfortunately I know what it's like to see a drowned corpse So if it's accurate....I would...strangely appreciate it more?

Like you never know your audience

DanitheCarutor

When I was first starting to dabble in comics I was attempting this dark fantasy/mythology-ish story that would have some gore. I looked up stuff like "skull being crushed", "what does 'x' limb look like when being ripped off", "what does a corpse look like after sitting for 'x' many days". Most of my searched led me to the Best Gore site, which is totally recommended if you need references for your gory horror comic, but is NOT a site for the faint of heart. You will most likely get sick from the content... and the comment section.

Oddly enough, when I used to do the occasional stand alone gore-ish illustration I'd get 1-2 comments with people being grateful for the accuracy. It's... interesting that they would know what would and wouldn't be accurate with stuff like that.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh, I looked up burn victims before.... Yeah, I've looked up a lot of weird stuff.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I had to look up fresh and healed burnscar myself for a comic, a character survivived a housefire.

Most of the time I am googling history actually - and mostly tech-levels of a given time and what was contemporary with what - guns and knights for example co-existed for quite a few decades, that kind of stuff.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Y'know I'm thinking about it more, and I'm realizing why I can't recall the weird stuff I've looked up. I usually ask people for information! I know a lot of different kinds of people who are more than happy to talk about their experiences, so I can ask them for first hand experience with a lot of situations where I then don't really need to look up much other than to maybe fill some holes I have. It's a different kind of research

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Huh, the weirdest thing I’ve googled? Well, there’s the ever-uncomfortable ‘Googling certain body types for reference but probably looking like a creep to anyone who looks at my search history’. I’ve also googled very oddly specific things like ‘What is a 5-cube called?’ (It’s a pentaract). I’ve also watched videos that demonstrate how a bump key works, and to my FBI agent, I swear it was only for my comic. My search history gets pretty eclectic. I look up a lot of religious lore, and do lot of research into medieval times - mostly about the daily life of the average peasant. Also things like quantum physics, customs in other countries, and animal facts.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Just realizing that I once researched "medieval brewing." That was an interesting train of information.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

For a lot of gruesome or dangerous scenes, I try to aim the search toward movies and TV screencaps. Like, if you need to draw a crashing car, find a series with a dramatic car chase where they slammed a stunt car into a wall in high-def slow-mo.

kayotics

I think the weirdest thing I looked up was trying to figure out the answer to the question “is the gas released by decomposing bodies flammable? And if so how much gas do you need?”

eli [a winged tale]

now I’m curious what’s the answer

kayotics

The answer ended up being that if there was enough gas being created it was probably not enough to be flammable: aka it would not light up the room.

I ended up asking a friend who knows more about decomposition to figure out the answer, but I just wanted to make sure if a character brought a torch into a musty murder basement, it wouldn’t light them up like a Christmas tree

Mostly: it gets smelly and stale

eli [a winged tale]

Good to know!

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Hmm I think the wierd thing I looked up was whether Smile Therapy was a real practice? There are Photos too and I have a feeling it was real. Another thing I look up was; How would a real lady pirate dress in historical times? I did alot of extra research for some little visual hints.(edited)

I feel like Mob psycho nailed the creepiness of Smile Therapy because they were patients forced to pretend to smile, that's what I envision each time. That ep stayed with me(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oh my god

Miranda

What is that picture from?? it's creepy haha(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

mob psycho 100

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

smile therapy is terrifying. Imagine getting punished if you didn't smile

in the end you'll be smiling as a conditioned reaction to fear, not because it's genuine

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Yes exactly, the original one was hard to record so the Google was ambiguous about its existence but there's photo proof that it was a thing

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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