#its not necessarily that my stuff is bad i think i could provide what a requester wants sufficiently? but rather my process is slooooooooow.

[lixuii]

i think that i could take commissions in the future and then get humbled so quickly

[avelera]

Thinking about the lovely “New Inn Through the Ages” post by @virgo-dream in terms of alternatives to the popular “Hob built the New Inn for Dream after the missed 1989 meeting” headcanon.

- Quick disclaimer, this headcanon always mildly (and irrationally, this is fandom after all) irked me because to my pedantic, archaeology-obsessed ass, the New Inn was obviously visually at least 200 years old just based on the brick work so “built” never really worked, at most Hob could have purchased or renovated it if it was in response to 1989. To some that’s splitting hairs but what can I say, I never pretended to be rational about dumb history stuff.

- THAT SAID, it would be kind of interesting if Hob does own the New Inn but not necessarily since 1989, but even earlier. It could even be interesting for him to have built the New Inn in truth but back in the 1700s when the building was actually built.

- Hob appears not just comfortable at the White Horse in its 1889 but at the very least a regular. He recognizes Lou on sight and names her immediately, he knows her nickname at the establishment. This familiarity doesn’t track if this is his first time at the White Horse since 1789.

- After 1689, Hob appears to have opted to buy out a private room for them for their discussion, perhaps in response to his return in fortunes but also perhaps based on the memory of being nearly thrown out in 1689 and interrupted by Shaxberd in 1589. The guy is learning how to better manage their encounters. So it stands to reason that after they were interrupted by Constantine in 1789 as a result of her paying off the proprietor, that Hob would simply buy out the inn for 1889.

- Hob owning the White Horse in 1889 actually rather tracks with his familiarity with Lushing Lou and the fact that he’s so at ease there and clearly arrived well before Dream. He speaks to Lou with authority and is dressed with signs of at least middle class prosperity. Being the owner of the White Horse tracks with that level of prosperity shown, nothing flashy, after all it’s in a bad part of town these days.

- Thing is, Hob has a mind for business as we see in numerous instances at the centennial meetings. As a result, to me, it wholly tracks that he wouldn’t stop at buying the White Horse, he’d also purchase a few neighboring taverns and inns once he got a hang of the business. (Consolidation of neighborhood pubs under mega corporation ownership in the 1990s is its own interesting side note on this because again, I’m a history nerd.) The New Inn is presented as so close to the White Horse that a graffiti arrow is enough to point it out. That’s very close indeed.

- SO, I think from this it’s reasonable to say that Hob could very well have owned the New Inn as part of one of his business ventures since the 19th century or earlier, perhaps even as a result of the 1789 meeting and “Finding another pub”, perhaps even building the New Inn then in truth either before or after the meeting as an alternative in case another lunatic Constantine shows up. It’s so close by he might have hoped he could persuade Dream with its proximity.

- Right then, if that’s true, why can’t Hob save the White Horse?

- Perhaps after 1889 he simply sold his ownership stake in it. Heartbroken and angry at himself, especially if he’d provided all these contingencies like the New Inn in case of interruptions or other disasters, he might have just felt as much like a fool as in 1589 when he tried to provide a fine meal. Probably best to just give up and stop trying to control matters, since look where that got him.

- So he sells the White Horse. But the other inns don’t have the same emotional stake and business is business, so he sets those up with a “family trust” to keep running, lending the building out to different managers, etc. and simply carries on.

- Cue his look of devastation in 1989 upon learning the White Horse is going to shut down. If he once owned it, it might be a particular gut punch to know he could have prevented this if he hadn’t let his bitterness get the better of him. Despite his best efforts, he can’t prevent it from being condemned.

- LUCKILY he still had his own business interests nearby in the form of those pubs he built or bought centuries ago. He dusts off his paperwork around the New Inn and reassumes direct management (or at least, his nephew does in a few years). The 1789 “nearby pub” contingency might just pay off in the 21st century, who knows? And it worked!

And there you have it. My take on how Hob could have built the New Inn starting from its actual original construction. Very fun to consider too when you check out Virgo’s post and discover that a Mr. Hobert did indeed own it at one point ;)

[thoseyoulove]

Hello,Can you rank your Armand favorite relationshipw and why ? (I just love reading opinions , nothing serious)

Hi!

Fistly, thank you for the question! I get sometimes sending messages can be uncomfortable and you may not receive the nicest answers, but you don't need to explain yourself. Whether is a fun or serious question, asking my opinion or sharing your own: I LOVE talking about this universe and always welcome it.

Anyway, now to ranking!

P.S. This is long and contain spoilers. These opinions are based on the sequence from The Vampire Lestat to The Vampire Armand and aren't necessarily permanent.

Lesmand / Armandstat

Favorite relationship on the books as a whole for basically three reasons: it's always interesting (even on its smallest moments), they are deeply mirrored so it provides a compelling dynamic and is often intense. They are two sides of the same coin and parallel one another so much in terms of personalities and experiences. From their first interaction, it already seemed that they knew each other their whole lives because they could read one another like an open book. There is this mix of unconscious, but immediate recognition, understanding, curiosity, care, attraction, insecurity, fear, anger and frustration because they're the only ones that fully get each other. It's one thing to know someone for what they share or you observe, but you only fully comprehend somebody when you have a lot in common like they do. Still, that's terrifying because you're completely bare, vulnerable and forced to confront stuff you want to run away from. They have a lot of sharp dialogue and arguments where they throw the hardest truths on the other's face and they know how to push each other's buttons from day one. Yet, the fascination, affection and protection are still there and they always stay somewhat close. And that results in a lot of first class tension: what brings both together also pulls them apart and they're often fighting so many conflicting emotions (as a duo and individuals) because they keep going back and forth. Obviously, they're far from perfect and have both tremendously hurt one another verbally, physically and with Claudia's death (which Armand's is responsible for). But even then, they were never enemies or rivals. I get why people would use such words, but I think they would need to hate or wish bad things for each other to be classified as such and that's never happened. Even if they did something to give that impression, it wasn't genuine and they made themselves suffer in the process too. There was definitely hate for words said and things done, but for the person it was always love. Through the good, the bad, the ugly and the complicated. This dynamic defies definitions and there aren't enough words in any language I know to fully and precisely categorize or desxribe even it. For better or worse, they're on a league of their own and I've never seen anything like it on books, movies or TV shows.

2. Armand x Bianca

I love Bianca. She's been such a great addition and it's a breath of fresh air whenever she appears. It was so satisfying to see them being friends, connecting and Armand having something that was entirely his own without Marius being involved (though considering the pattern of this book, it will probably change). I also enjoy the fact they met and bonded as humans, you know? There's something lovely and unique about it since most pairings had one or both parties already being a vampire on their first encounter. And another sweet thing is that even centuries later Armand still emphasizes how he'll never forget her. They have become really special to me.

3. Armand & Riccardo

Usually relationships where one is a small or Marius is somewhat involved don't work for me, but that's an exception. Riccardo isn't as developed as Armand and part of this (creepy) palazzo where Marius keeps several teenagers/children in, but you do know enough to grow attached to him. Actually, given the situation these boys are in, I ended up caring about the ones who don't even have a name. And despite the proximity Marius has to them, the kids have friendships of their own. Obviously, this isn't the healthiest environment and they all deserved better, but I'm so glad they had each other and a sense of family (specially because some of them don't even remember their own relatives well anymore). That brings me some kind of comfort. There are these moments when Armand gets emotional thinking about how much he loves them all and would die for them and when he almost does and they're all (with Bianca) crying and Armand is surprised by their reactions because they loved him so much... It really moved me So, I adore them.

4. Armandiel

The Devil's Minion chapter is one of my top favorite pieces of The Queen of the Damned. Its best aspect is seeing Armand on his self-discovery journey and how Daniel was just patient and supportive. And that's so important, because a big part of Armand's characterization is how he has no sense of identity. He's gone through so much trauma since early and formative years and always adapted to please others or even make out alive. This made him lose key parts of his memory and every sense of self and he definitely needed that. So, to see Daniel not tell him what to do, but instead let him try new stuff, see what he loved or not, on his own terms and pace and Daniel just going along with him... It was wonderful. The only downsides is that I believe Daniel deserved more individual development and it was rushed. Twelve years deserved more chapters, probably books plural. That said, I bet the show will take its strong points and only elevate their story. And I can't wait because I've already lost my mind with them on season 2 (they have my favorite scene on the show, by the way).

Honorable mentions:

Armand & Benji + Sybelle

Haven't seen a lot of them, but Armand opened his book saying he was full of love and excitedly talking about these children he took in. There's also this moment he asked David if he liked his kids and he just sounded like a proud dad. It was adorable. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing more of them.

Armand & his family

There's been very little of them and I doubt there will be more, so I can't talk about their relationship per se, but the chapter they say goodbye is devastating and beautiful. Those recent posts of me losing my mind were because of it. I've never cried so much with art and rarely cried like that even in real life. It was an experience I'd never had before and an emotion I didn't know was humanly possible. I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually touched to the point of exhaustion. It's been the best part of The Vampire Armand, if not of the whole chronicles. And it will stick with me forever.

[cardentist]

(Note I'm seeing this through lens of being horribly ill and struggling with health providers rn but)

I never saw it as an addiction metaphor I saw but how disabled people are denied aid and stuff because its 'wrong' and you 'should just be able to exist without it'.

But 'it hurts me to see you using cane/meds/wheelchair'

So it made sense to me that yeah he'd feel great using it but also feel horrible guilty

Context: [Link]

I didn't get into this in the original post because I was worried I wouldn't be able to word it right (in part because I haven't finished my relisten, and in part because this is More than just meta about a story I like and I didn't want to say anything ignorant).

BUT I'm absolutely glad that you're bringing this up.

because the truth is that my Other problem with the discussion about monsterhood in the magnus archives as addiction (in holding characters morally accountable for being monsters because they "should" be able to just Choose not to do monstrous things if they were good people) is that it Is accurate to how people treat addicts, and that's a bad thing when people parrot it without realizing that.

because the truth is, addicts often Do need their addiction to survive. medically, emotionally, or just. You Know. because addiction often means you can't just cut cold turkey without major consequences (consequences that, to be clear, Can Kill You). and they Are often treated poorly by the people around them for not just being able to Do Better as if anyone could be expected to do "better" in their situation.

when ""better"" means being in pain, when ""better"" is unlivable without the necessary support to Make it bearable.

and this Absolutely crosses over with ableism. in real life And in the show.

you don't Need to be an addict for someone to treat you like you're immoral for needing aid they don't. though I think it'd be a mistake to talk about it without Also keeping addiction in the conversation, because it's not right when people do it to addicts either.

needing aid to survive And being an addict aren't mutually exclusive, and that's what I meant when I said my last post was In Conversation with the addiction metaphor.

jon's situation being a mirror (in many ways, it's not an exact one to one of course) with addiction doesn't mean that he's Less deserving of compassion or that his situation was somehow his own fault, it means that we should be taking that compassion and understanding of his situation and Apply That to the real people who are also deserving of those things.

we Watched jon be stripped of his own agency and forced into a position where he could Only be a monster or die, and in response many people have said that he should've just Chosen not to be, as if the choice is Reasonable. as if asking him to starve or die is Reasonable.

and of course, I'm not qualified to speak about addiction in detail, but it's just something that's sat wrong with me for years. the Show's use of addiction as a metaphor works for me because of the empathy and humanity it's Meant to show to addiction. but the fandom's reception to that messaging isn't. always stellar.

and I don't think people necessarily do it on purpose, but I Do wish there was more of an awareness of it. how it might come across, you know?

[jacksgreysays]

Prompt: The Jashin cult incident did not result in the Gardens universe, but rather caused some wibbly wobbly time space stuff to happen, resulting in the hammerspaces of various AU Shikakos to merge/converge. A young Shikako now has access to the hammerspace of Shinobi War veteran Shikako. Her teammates are baffled by her seemingly bottomless supply of water scrolls and explosive seals.

So, here’s the thing: I’m not actually doing an ask box event at the moment. But I’m also not going to say no to a cool prompt, with the understanding that once you send something to me they are up to my (wild) interpretation on how/if to fill them. All that being said, letmebeawalrus, I do think this prompt is super cool. I also, immediately, went sideways with it for several reasons which I will list under this tiny ficlet:

~

This is not the first time she has used the Space.

When she was younger, she would reach into the Space and pull sweets seemingly out of thin air for herself and her brother and her friends. Whenever she misplaced a pen, there seemed to be an endless amount available to her with a twist of her hand. For cloud watching sessions turned stargazing, she could provide blankets to make those times last longer.

This is also not the first time she has put something into the Space.

Motivated she may be, she was still Nara through and through, and carrying things was so much easier when she could stash it away without bothering with pockets or pouches. Food maintained its temperature, flowers never wilted, everything forever fresh in there. She’s the undisputed best at hiding things.

This is not even the first time she has felt compelled to put specific things into the Space.

It’s funny how much the Academy teachers twitch as they see her make explosion tags during classes but can’t figure out where they go—not knowing that she’s making them for the Space, for other versions of herself who don’t have as much free time as she does. She asks Mum if she can borrow the camera, promises to be careful, takes pictures of her family, her friends, the deer herds, clouds, and other serene things. Mum has also gotten used to making twice as much gyoza, bemusedly but indulgently watching her daughter stash away four for every one she eats, and even writes out a recipe card even though they always make them together.

But this is the first time that the Space has needed something so much more… challenging. Shikako knows, without any words, that she is the youngest with access to the Space: she has the kindest, least stressful lifestyle which means she has more opportunities to contribute to the Space than the others. And as the youngest she also knows she is the earliest in the timeline, which means that she may be the only one who can get this for the Space, for the other versions of herself that needs this.

So she will do it. She will. It just sucks that it involves talking to strangers and asking them for a bizarre favor for which she can’t explain. The first step is not too bad, theoretically, it’s just talking to Sasuke: they’re not friends, necessarily, but ever since she knocked him out during taijutsu class, he seems to respect her more.

That will probably go down the drain after this.

“I need to meet your cousin Shisui.”

~

So, letmebeawalrus, my brain actually wanted to do a twist on your prompt. Although perhaps it’s just the B-sides of your prompt rather than a twist. Of course it is still very impressive that young!Shikako has access to endless water scrolls and explosive seals and other things which she should have access to (perhaps at one point she pulls out the Sword of the Thunder God, just says whoops, and then tucks it away into the Space) but I kind of wanted to look at it from a “what does young!Shikako bring to the Space.” Because she does have the most free time—and I think it’s been established that she figured out explosive tags in the Academy—so SHE could be the source of the endless explosive tags for all the other Shikakos who don’t have the time (and you can’t tell me Shikako isn’t constantly multi-tasking during the more academic lecture-based classes.) But then I also thought about how, young!Shikako has in addition to free time, access to people that the older Shikakos wouldn’t. For feels, I wanted to throw in the camera and the qyoza (because there are some Garden Shikako who have been stranded from a Konoha that resembles home, they may have found a Konoha, but not one that has her family and friends in it, alive and unharmed) but then in a strategic way I also realized young!Shikako may be the only one with access to a living Uchiha clan. The Space compelling her to put stuff in is largely benign—and I think because of spacetime wibbly wobbliness, it’s not as if she has a counter to get the thing, just that she has to eventually get the thing (as far as other dimension Shikakos are concerned, they don’t perceive how long it takes between needing a thing and pulling it out from the Space—it’s basically a crowd-sourced version of the Jacket of Useful Things except that crowd is herself from multiple dimensions.) I only ever witnessed this in fanfiction form, but I know there’s a fantasy book (series?) of… not Practical Magic, but sort of adjacent in that the protagonist kind of has an urge to collect things with the vibe that at some point someone will need this thing and that they will be able to give it to them and it is considered magic I think? I also couldn’t find the fanfiction that I encountered it in, so I can’t even link that. But that’s the vibe. I THINK, there is a version of Shikako that needs something from a living Shisui—or, perhaps, if we want to get more complicated there is a version of Shikako that needs something from a living Uchiha clan in a decade, so in order to make sure that will be available, the Space is compelling young!Shikako to intervene such that there will be a living Uchiha clan in a decade? But I don’t think the Space can reach that far--and so young!Shikako who is the only one pre-Uchiha Massacre is the only one who can get it. What that thing might be, I have no idea. Anyway, letmebeawalrus, hope you enjoyed.

[dark-side-blog3]

I read all the yandere Deuce spade stuff I could find, and its his birthday (at least it was when I was still writing this-- I’ve overshot by five minutes by the time I post this). So naturally, I wrote out my head-canons about Deuce as a yandere! 

Character is aged up to 18

+++++++++++++++++++

- Deuce Spade gets a bad rap as being nothing more than a dumb himbo who means well. And sure, thinking of his feet while staying in the confines of being a good person is hard. He’s trying to completely overhaul his old personality. Deuce used to be the leader of a gang of over 30 guys, when he was only fourteen years old. You don’t get to that level of power without knowing the basic fundamentals of diplomacy: Know how to get people to let down their guard, and know how to strike hard before they get the chance to retaliate. 

- Deuce knows how to lure people around him into a false sense of security. No spoilers, but a Halloween event card shows him displaying this tactic to the letter. 

- And when they’re out of earshot of immediate help, he strikes. Its hard, fast, and he always makes sure to stop when they’ve got it pounded in their skulls that he could do way worse the next time they piss him off. 

- Deuce does try to limit his beatdowns, now that he’s in a good school, and he’s allowed a fresh start. 

- But that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t feel tempted to take some people into a stairwell, or out behind the school if they’re a threat to his goals. And Deuce does take the safety of those close to him seriously. 

- He’s not necessarily overprotective, so much as he is just protective. He could be way more intense-- some students in NRC really outshine him when it comes to frantic panicking over their darlings health. 

- That said, if you’re lucky enough to be considered Deuces darling, you don’t have to worry about him hurting you. Much. Maybe a few smacks upside the head when you make him worry needlessly. Or accidentally crushing your leg with a cauldron. 

- He’s definitely a softer yandere in that respect... No intentional harm or sadism directed at you. 

- Deuce wouldn’t force himself on you-- which, in his mind, isn’t as much of a morally reprehensible action as it is... Unnecessary. He won’t sleep with you if you don’t want to, he won’t kiss you if he doesn’t check first that you want to, and Deuce wouldn’t even cozy up to you on the same piece of furniture unless you dropped hints over and over just so he could make sure you actually wanted to. 

- Rape isn’t about intimacy, its about using intimate acts as a tool for violence. Deuce knows that. He’s not a fan. 

-  So. Deuce Spade is kinda nice, right? Not a violent asshole to his darling, he’s protective, he respects some boundaries... What’s the catch? 

- Deuce strikes me as a possessive yandere. He does love you, but his love for you is ultimately focused on himself. He wants the perfect life, a total 180 from his old self. And having a loving partner he white-knights against the horrors of a new world against is a total difference from the delinquent gang leader who would mug anyone weaker than him.

- Your desires, beyond the basic respect of your physical body, are irrelevant. Anything you want can be negotiated down to something he wants too. There is nothing that should be more important to you than him. The future he can work provide you. He’s going to work hard enough to support you. So trying to find ways to be, or stay independent aren’t going to fly for him. 

- How are you going to be part of his future if you have a way to leave? If you have a life in another world you want to run back to? And a world that he’s not equipped to support you in-- All of his schooling is based on magic, something you don’t have in your world. All the history he knows is wrong. Basic science is wrong. Deuce may not be the best student, but if he got dragged to your world, he would be utterly fucked. He couldn’t support you, and you might be able to leave him behind. 

- Deuce knows he can’t ever completely replace the ache of missing your home... But he can help you make new memories, a new home. 

- You can’t leave him. Deuce can’t let you. 

[salemcantupdate]

I’m sitting here, thinking about possible ships in Stardew Valley that don’t involve the farmer. I’ve seen quite a few. Of course there’s the canon stuff, aka the married couples and Marnie with Lewis. It’s also canon that Alex says he’s jealous if you get with Haley. Ignoring Clint and Emily because I’m sorry but that’s literally “nice guy creepy incel” getting the girl.

But! I don’t like most of the married couples AND I don’t like Marnie with Lewis. So I’m gonna go on a little exploration here.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot of Caroline and the Wizard. First of all I absolutely think that Abigail is the Wizard’s kid, but I also don’t think those two actually… like each other? I think it was more of a fling than anything. But low key? Part of me thinks the Wizard and Lewis could be kinda fun, I’ve also seen art of the Razzy with Marlon. Which would be fun! But I do think it’s really cute when Marlon says that Marnie is really pretty. It’s just precious to me.

But BUT, crazy thought

Willy and Razzy mic Dazzle???? HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

Willy is a traveler! He fishes all over the place!!! He’s gotta have experience with sea monsters and weird magics, and imagine the Wizard requests some specific sea based spells or works with him to help find merpeople OR ensures the seas and skies are calm so that he can sail safely. DO YOU SEE MY VISION???

Cough, so— I’m thinking Willy with Razzmocious and Marnie breaking up with Lewis and Marlon slowly winning her over himself. Caroline though? Honestly don’t think she’s the happiest with Pierre, he’s pretty shit. Low key I like her with Jodi haha. Like Kent isn’t bad, not at all, I just don’t think Jodi loves him. But Caroline and Jodi feel a bit too obvious, so… hear me out… Caroline and Gunther. She regularly visits the library so— gah yeah that’s stupid. Caroline deserves someone who will just cuddle with her and Jodi needs someone who makes her feel alive again. They’ve got different needs. Kent also needs a lot of love and therapy, which I don’t think Jodi can provide. Ok, I’m gonna move on to an easier one I’m dying here.

Sam and Sebastian are so obvious, going insane here. 100% ship them. I’ve seen some people throw Abigail into the mix, but personally I’m not the biggest fan of that. Honestly? I’m kinda into Abigail and Haley—

OK LISTEENNNNN, listen. Abigail’s 14 heart scene… imagine if Haley was there instead of the farmer. It just fits so perfectly. Pretty girlfriend loving buff girlfriend. I THINK ITS CUTE OK LEAVE ME ALONE SOB SOB SOB

Speaking of the girls, I like Maru and Penny together a lot. I just see them around town together all the time and I think it’s super cute haha. Ah shoot, that reminds me of Robin. I do not like Demetrius, personally. Though I suppose there marriage seems to work. I wouldn’t break them apart.

Ok, now on to my hotter tea. Harvey and Shane. Harvey is just so sweet and so loving and so nice and caring and Shane has no experience with that and Harvey gets Shane access to a therapist dhkfhwkd— I think it’s cute. I think it would be really cute if they started hanging out and Shane realized how poorly Harvey ate and started scolding him like “You’re always scolding me but you eat like this?” And just keeps going as he cooks them both a meal and gruffly sets it out for Harvey and—

Sobbing

Ok my other somewhat hot take, Elliott and Alex. The reasoning here might be iffy, but I like the idea of Alex getting with a guy who broadens his range of what masculinity means. I think it would also be cute if Alex slowly gained a love for reading through Elliott. Plus I think Alex could be a magnificent muse given his past. It could be cute.

Oh and my final take is Morris and Pierre should hatefuck

…

ANYWAYS

But yeah, I don’t necessarily ship all these. Like, actively and actually ship them. I might one day, but right now I’m just sitting in my thought stew.

[theninthdoor]

Can you do bad sides/questionnable reading for enhypen as well ? (Like you did for BTS) Thank youuu :)

again... before you read: make sure that you take everything with a grain of salt and put your common sense to good use! no human being is 100% angel; no one is perfect + some of these things we, ourselves, do or think of doing from time to time. still, if anyone is expecting idols to be some sort of perfect demi-gods, the internet might not be for you 💘 also, of course, i’m not claiming anything as facts. feel free to dismiss my interpretations, if you wish.

Heeseung || the devil, page of wands: Uhh… a little manipulative? He knows what to say to push people's buttons. Plus, might take his jokes a little too far sometimes, too. While said joke might be making someone uncomfortable, if he's not yet satisfied with it, he's not gonna stop. What's funny for him often isn't funny for others, and he might fail to notice that. It could also happen that others feels pressured to laugh at those jokes or go along with his antics just so they aren't the next victim. (mind you, I don't think he's malicious with it, necessarily… he may just lack the maturity or self-awareness to recognize what's reaaally happening)

Jay || the temperance, ace of pentacles: Jay might have a hard time stepping out of his comfort zone, and so he tries to mold people into what better fits said comfort zone. If he thinks something is the best of its kind (i.e.: a restaurant or a style of jeans), he will want everybody to have the same opinion or follow his own. Passive-aggressiveness might also be an issue here.

Jake || three of swords, ace of swords: Knows how to hit a raw nerve, and might do it more often than he should. He's the type to remember things/secrets a person has told him and use that against them later on, specially when they have hurt his feelings. Will bring up people's past mistakes, too, for sure… Plus, once you hurt him, he'll make sure you know it and acknowledge it!

Sunghoon || four of wands, eight of cups: Escapism; faking it. Fakes his personality and/or tastes and preferences in order to fit in. Would rather run than confront others over things that have upset him. Might also be the type to say one thing in front of the larger group of people, and then go and say another in private to someone he trusts.

Sunoo || wheel of fortune, ace of wands: Unpredictable. Always looking for the next big thing. He just isn't very commited to stuff, specially if something else more interesting or promising comes up. It may be hard to get him to follow through with an idea or plan - it's a "do it now or you may never actually do it" type of thing. He just loses interest very easily, it seems.

Jungwon || ace of pentacles, eight of swords: I wouldn't necessarily say close minded, but more like… short-sighted? He rejects things/ideas/people too fast upon a first impression, and doesn't give them the opportunity to unravel into something that, perhaps, he'd find really quite interesting. For example, if 7 years ago he found a 12-in-1 shampoo that worked for his needs, in those 7 years he has never accepted any other shampoo suggestion and will shit-talk all other options… you won't get him to change his mind bc, honestly, he doesn't care. It might be better for him and give him better results but, instead of considering that, he's thinking about NOT getting what this 12-in-1 provides for him right now. Besides that, he may also be a little material focused and reject some opportunities in order to focus on work, to save money, or simply because he thinks it's below himself.

Ni-ki || three of swords, king of wands: Lol… he plays the victim very well! Ni-ki knows how to use his acting skills to get what he wants, for sure… Dramatic. Pushy. Hates it when people don't pay attention to him - OR when they don't give him the amount of attention he thinks he deserves. "My way or the highway… unless you wanna hear me whine about it for a month, of course".

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

[kaisacobra]

Thank you for saying that it really means a lot, I actually used to write fan-fiction a couple years back and I’ve recently tried to start again but I’m very critical of what I write and how I write it so I’m incapable of producing a single chapter.

Keep it mysterious, I’ll be eagerly awaiting whatever you gift us ✨

Now that you mention it, yes I completely understand what you mean about R not being able to be extremely cold to Tara. R seems like the type of person who’d be hurt and disappointed, someone who wouldn’t necessarily be cold to Tara but would definitely hide from her. For R I’d imagine it’d be an internal battle of what she wants versus what she deserves, we already get a feel for that in the first chapter but it was easier for her to choose what she wants- which is to provide whatever comfort and happiness Tara wants because she loves her so much over what she deserves- someone who cares about her in a consistent manner and not only when it’s convenient (boo Tara😡). After Tara’s outburst I think R would have to force herself in every way possible to really process that she can’t put Tara’s needs above her own anymore, as much as she loves Tara doing that would reinforce the notion that everything Tara said is true. We know she always runs back but now that’s she’s been ridiculed for it she can’t.

The way she’s always there for Tara makes me wonder about her background. Maybe this is TMI, but I personally have experienced many relationships like this in the past. My father abandoned my sister and I at a very young age, so part of the reason I would always be there for them and never left first even when I should’ve but wouldn’t- was because I never wanted them to feel as unloved and unworthy as I did when my father left me. By the time I was a teenager I’d already forgiven him for all the abuse my family endured because of him, in my heart nobody could ever hurt me the way he hurt me- so I’d forgive them even though the people around me would expressively tell me not to, you know? But im older now and I stand my ground, i can leave when if its what’s best for me and not get too caught up in what’s best for them.

I’m from California by the way! It’s 10:30PM right now, you’re from Brazil though? That’s so cool! Did you grow up there? My parents were born in Mexico but they moved to USA in the late 1980’s, I wanna move to Mexico and live there for a couple years because my mother loves and talks about her hometown so much, the idea of seeing where she grew up in person and picturing her as a little girl warms my heart.

- ☘️ (I’m gonna use this as my anon tag from now on)

I feel like everyone is gonna be critical when it comes to their own stuff, like, I'm not kidding when I said i thought second best wasn't that good, specially because I used to be an essay tutor/monitor at school and my writing had to be more than perfect. Just remember that usually you're gonna be more critical of your work than other people and it doesn't mean that what you write is actually bad.

I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm glad that you can stand your ground now!💪 I know this will sound oddly ironic but all the background information I have on R is about... Tara. In my head, R is divided by past (beginning of friendship, woodsboro), present (the current mess) and future (what's gonna happen) so, in a way, maybe her life is all about Tara😔

I don't think R's family are gonna make an appearance so I'll leave it up for you guys to hc whatever you want as R's reason for being so attached to Tara.

California seems so nice! And yeah, i grew up here and i wouldn't have it any other way🤭 Maybe this happens to everyone in their own home country but i just love my culture and history so much, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Mexico sounds super cool! I've been wanting to go there, specially in 2026 because of the world cup (really wanted to see it live) but i dont think it's gonna happen😔 Either way it's a beautiful country i wanna visit someday and i definitely have to start improving my spanish.

[ecto-hazard]

what happens if we open classified

oh its just papers in there but some of its kinda important. I cant draw at the very second unfortunately cause i left my ipad at home but i got some visuals sorta

So classified is like. a subspecies of book. books are a real common type of object in this universe. theyre special cause whats in their pages is like really really important to who they are. not ALL of it, or even most of it, but a lot of it. Books have a biological brain, but its main purpose isnt so much cognition, its just there for sensory and motor relays. Most of what would be considered the thinking brain is actually in the pages.

Basically all books have three main vital sections: you got a Genetic region, a Thinking region, and a Long Term region. The genetic is a basically unreadable, but it contains a backup of their DNA. This is nice cause it makes books less prone to mutations. Its pretty much nonsense to objects in the same way that binary is nonsense to humans: its a language, you technically could decode it all by hand, but that's a fucking hassle so no one does that. (Image provided, its not necessarily written in just actgatagctagctgta, it can be even more nonsensical than that). The other two regions are pretty much self explanatory. Thoughts get written in the thinking region, and if its determined to be important enough to keep forever, itll get shuffled into long term. These regions are usually a bit easier to read.

Damage to any of these sections isnt necessarily detrimental to a books mind or body. The genetic region can be restored from copying the sequence of the actual cells, though that leads it to be prone to possible mutations. damage to the thinking region isnt particularly terrible either, their brain will be kinda confused for a long time, but eventually itll recognize hey this parts fucked and adjust where thoughts are recorded accordingly. the long term memory region can be a bit more worrisome cause damage to those regions can result in lost memories. If entire pages are lost, they can be grafted back in and thus restore the lost memories though its a very risky medical process.

So classifieds not a book, theyre a folder, the main difference being that none of their pages are bound in there and can just fucking fall out. The nice thing is that means theyre easy to put back in, but also if you just lost something forever that'd be bad still.

so classifieds folder is like this where its got some pockets to keep shit from falling out and thats where the important shit is stored. everything else that they have in there is just kinda haphazardly stuffed between the pockets and isnt vital to their existence, mostly stuff like to do lists, conspiracy theory papers, what have you. so usually when classified is seen losing papers, its just stuff like that. they CAN still lose the important stuff if they arent careful, obviously, but as said before, that wouldnt necessarily mean theyd just stop functioning altogether

[system-of-a-feather]

Apologies if you've talked about this before! We've seen some say using the term thoughtform as an alternative to tulpa is better, while others say thoughtform is also related to the bastardization of Buddhist practice. Was wondering if you could provide insight on that? We don't have any ourselves, but we tend to stick with the term "created headmate" or "willogenic" to describe others' experiences, and wanted to know what your opinions were on the term thoughtform

(* = footnote at the bottom)

I actually have less knowledge on the origins of thoughtform other than the fact that the term "thoughtforms" come from a more Theosophical Approach and I honestly don't really know much about Theosophy and its history. I generally prefer thoughtforms to tulpa, but I tend to prefer the aforementioned "created headmate" and "willogenic" and similar terms simply because I trust them more than things that were rooted in western white esotericist of that era*.

Anything beyond this point though is stuff I am gleaming from a cursory read on Theosophy's origins on wikipedia so please do know this is no hall mark High End Research or anything, just me doing a light reading cause I actually never really looked into or heard people talking about Theosophy much beyond "the thoughtform term comes from theosophy"

[cue research montage]

So generally from what I'm getting, I don't see anything too particularly wrong about the origins of Theosophy or the term thoughtforms other than white people being a little weird about eastern practices that make me a little uncomfortable**, but not in anyway that I would necessarily claim it to be cultural appropriation

They do have their roots coming from India and engaging in Hinduism / Buddhism, then propegated and pushed primarily by white people, and I don't really like how the wikipedia comments on them "borrowing" Matreiya from Buddhism so that is kind of an orange flag, but that might be just Wikipedia's poor wording or it might be something more. I'd have to read into it, but beyond that I don't see anything that really directly takes a Buddhist practice and bastardizes it like "tulpa" does.

As far as I have read, it seems the practice and idea of thoughtforms largely seem to stem from Theosophy independently of Buddhism beyond the fact that the foundation of Theosophy was inspired by Buddhism ALONG with a number of other philosophies and religions and (from what I can tell) Theosophy is built and centered around trying to connect the underlying truth between multiple cultural backgrounds?

It seems to be a genuine melting pot of a lot of concepts and philosophies / religions and thoughtforms seem to pull more from that melting pot than it does specifically from Buddhism (the wikipedia actually only mentions Buddhism twice and its in the citations of books rather than anything else; one of my large issues with the term tulpa is that it touts Buddhism as its source, which thoughtforms seem to not).

Additionally, I also think its actually kind of neat in a way? I'm not really someone who would really read much into Theosophy or thoughtform stuff, but doing a skim of it, thoughtforms seemed to be based on a theosophical practice about the power of thoughts within life and... honestly, as a Buddhist I think thats a concept I can get behind.

I dunno though, in the end, I don't know enough to confidently make a stance one way or the other, so if people have more resources or information my opinion may change; but as it is from skimming through a couple of wikipedia pages*** and getting some of the gist, I don't think there is all that huge of an issue at least on a surface level****?

If there were any links to people making the claim that thoughtforms are culturally appropriative and why they think its that, I could share some thoughts on the points, but as it is, I didn't see anything too particularly bad.

----

Footnotes:

(*Which is entirely a distrust issue on our end and not representative or a moral standing that I think should be placed on others, so please keep in mind that our distrust is not something that should be imposed and it is a bias in my judgement

(**isn't hard to do, personal history makes me side eye white people being engaged in the propegation of Eastern Cultures / Ideologies; that said, I think it is very important to note that my discomfort does not reflect or superimpose the fact that white people and westerners are encouraged to partake in Buddhist thought and practice. I personally prioritize the principle of Buddhism's openness and promotion of people to engage in it rahn I do my personal distrust and so while I am reluctant and hesitant to give the benefit of the doubt to Theosophy, I am choosing to - on principle - state that I don't see anything that I think would be particularly "bastardized" as much as something genuinely developed from engaging in it

The Most important Point from this footnote is the following "Please do not take my discomfort as more important than the value of openness in Buddhism. Even if I am uncomfortable, to my current awareness of the history of Theosophy, it is more of a me issue than it is anything else and removing my personal bias, I don't see anything yet that would make me think that anything egregious has occurred.)

(*** the pages I skimmed through:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theosophy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought-Forms https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koot_Hoomi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiddu_Krishnamurti)

(**** I am still a bit suspicious of the "Borrowed Matreiya" that I mentioned before as well as some things about Annie Besant and Helena Blavatsky but I largely got tired of reading by the time I got to them so, if I were to, I'd have to read more into them which I quite honestly just don't feel like doing right now cause reading about Krishnamurti was enough smh smh)

[fascinationex]

Would love to hear some of your criticisms of earthspark. I have my own gripes but totally agree, the animation is amazing!

Mmmmm, okay, well I'll put this under a cut haha. I do know there's elements of fandom that really don't like to tolerate criticism of things they enjoy, and that's not a bad thing for them. If I knew what to tag this to avoid upsetting those people, I would add those tags. I've put this under a cut and tagged it "tf earthspark critical" and that will have to do.

To be clear, I quite like Earthspark. I think it's doing a lot better than many of the recent audiovisual TF media. This is the most interesting Bumblebee has been in perhaps a decade, each new episode builds upon contextual information provided in previous ones, and although the long history of the war hangs over the whole plot (with the obvious mystery of "what is happening on cybertron?" occupying a space that could be later explored) it's *not* so up its own arse with flashbacks that it makes you wonder why they bothered setting the story in this part of the timeline. Information and context is being delivered in an engaging, thoughtful way.

So like: this series is doing interesting things, it's not badly executed, and I think it's got fun, novel content that's being well supported with fun, novel animation. I love Soundwave’s new design, Megatron's accent, Frenzy's hair (what the fuck!!! I love this), the story's very soft interrogation of an Optimus Prime characterisation that has become pretty common... there's a lot to like!

My major criticism of this series is that the emotional storytelling is weak. They phoned it in and, to me, it makes it really hard to connect with the characters. Each emotional response is rote and it gets pushed through as fast as possible so we can get back to the plot which is driving the story. Characters have feelings because the writers know the audience expects that, but they don't feel like they're really driving any part of the plot?

It's very, "Gee that makes me feel bad." Pause. "But now [X thing has happened] and I feel happy again!"

So, an example of what I mean:

From the very outset we get stuff like... Episode 1 has a strong theme of the kids adjusting to moving for their parent's job, right. We get the argument at dinner, the "running away," all that stuff. So then Dot discovers what she refers to as her "dream job," that she's uprooted her whole family for, is a lie made up by a disingenuous government organisation to lure her to Witwicky and have her participate in their dodgy military stuff.

She is mad for about one line, and then she sees Megatron and decides maybe it's not so bad. Like, from an external perspective, obviously she has to engage with GHOST because it's a shady government organisation that's going to create problems for the plot. We get that. But the way this has happened has completely subordinated her emotional responses and character to the demands of the plot driven story, which to me, renders it... flat.

This is only one example, but there's other ones. Like, another one: The workings of the cyber-sleeves. Giving the kids a special way to say 'I am sensing you are... SAD?' is really short-cutting any emotional storytelling the series might otherwise be obliged to engage with—unfortunate, because the animation is more than equal to a more engaged and emotionally expressive storytelling!

So I think that, despite the manifest inducements to continue watching Earthspark, it is hard for me to actually be very into many of the characters so far? (I say "so far" but 10 episodes is still like about 40% of the way into season 1 and I would very much expect that the tone, storytelling and major inciting events for the season are well established at this point.)

I do acknowledge that I'm not the intended audience and I'm not necessarily meant to engage so strongly with characters written for the enjoyment of eight year olds. But I think other TF media definitely incorporated elements of characters' emotional landscapes more deftly into their stories. And I don't think that had anything to do with its proposed audience being quite young. I think shows like Rescue Bots and TFP did a pretty good job of engaging with characters' feelings (I don't necessarily like RB but it's well executed and it's definitely intended for a young audience), and so far Earthspark has not.

That doesn't mean it's not good. I think Earthspark is good, so far. But I have here provided this one criticism of a show I otherwise quite like. I think most of my other criticisms are really just things liiiike "show intended for 8 year olds isn't secretly for me :<" and "my preferred characterisations aren't here :<"

[wishful-seeker]

Why reality shifting can be harmful

Tw: mention of suicide and untrue ideas about reality (unreality)

Reality shifting is the practice of attempting to shift into a different reality using your mind. The purpose of this is to temporarily (or permanently) move yourself into a custom DR (dream reality) that you write a story or script for so you can live out the fantasies in your mind and potentially abandon your CR (current reality, aka, here on earth).

How does is work and what is it?

When trying to research what this phenomenon was or how to do it, everyone seemed to try and keep the information a secret, and no one would give me the same answer, or one that made sense. All the reality shifters i asked how to preform this or what it was only said "it's shifting realities" (very helpful)

So i watched interviews and how to videos on YouTube and read articles i found online.

The few things that every process had in common was that

1. You had to write or imagine a desired reality or "DR" (most people chose wanting to go to hogwarts and date Draco Malfoy).

2. The shifting happened as you slept.

To shift there were multiple methods i found, all of them some form of meditation before sleep or some kind of ritual before sleep. Some would listen to "shifting music" or "shifting guided meditation" before falling asleep, others would write an opening scene they wish to play out in their DR and place it under their pillow.

The claim is that when you wake up you will be in your DR.

Here is where the problems arose. No one could confidently tell me if they literally meant a new reality and physical dimension, or just a lucid dream.

I found some reality shifters that said this is a method of lucid dreaming similar to astral projection, but you train your brain to make the lucid dream feel as real as possible. Feeling wind in your hair, tasting food you eat, ect. And people who disagreed with that claimed it was just as real as the physical world, but could not provide evidence or even an explanation for why they were physically still here if they were able to shift.

I'm a lucid dreamer, have been sense i was very young. I can taste and feel my dreams, and sometimes with meditation beforehand i can control every aspect of the dream like location, events, or encounters. I believe if shifting exists its simply lucid dreaming. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that it isn't. Some claim reality shifting has existed for thousands of but can't provide any evidence or sources suggesting that.

Okay so now that we've covered that i can actually explain the issues with it.

What's wrong with reality shifting?

So firstly, the idea and practice itself is not necessarily harmful on its own as long as you understand it IS a dream and not concrete reality.

The issue is that tiktokers, especially ones that are minors, fall into the trap of thinking this dream is just as real as physical reality. And with the echo chamber tiktok is more and more young kids are believing this.

"But why is that a bad thing?"

Tw: this is where the stuff i warned about comes in

Firstly, it's very common and natural for some people to feel like they don't belong or come from Earth, and to have a yearning for a true home. I felt this way as a teen aswell.

Reality shifters become easily obsessed with making and living in a "perfect world". The problems this causes are:

1. They successfully shift for one night and upon awakening have a complete mental breakdown because they "want to go home." And further makes them feel like they don't belong here.

2. realize they still aren't happy and create a new DR over and over again, wondering why its not making them happy and feeding a vicious cycle of hoping to find a home and not finding one.

3. Are never able to shift and become extremely depressed because they believe their real home is so close but so far.

4. Reality shifting teaches these young impressionable minds that Earth ISN'T where they belong and they can abandon, yes abandon, this world for a brand new perfect one. This has led to some tiktok reality shifters pushing ideas and methods to permanently leave this world for a new one with no flaws. Methods to kill your real body and move to a new one by shifting. Promoting suicide to find their true home. This is known as Respawning.

5. This idea they push that your dream is as real as the physical world can easily harm the minds of people who ALREADY have trouble with grasping reality, like those with schizophrenia and similar disorders, actively making it harder for these people to understand reality which can push them towards psychosis, or at the very least, a very triggering or bad time.

So how do we fix this?

Firstly, do not push this practice towards minors, as a minor and especially one with previous mental health issues, these ideas can easily become dangerous. This happened to me first hand when i was younger.

Second, DO NOT PUSH THE IDEA THAT THIS IS REAL, we may not be certain if it is "real" or not but we ARE CERTAIN it harms REAL people. If you wish to try this you must understand that it is a lucid dream and if you truly believe its more you need to keep it to yourself and not share that opinion with thousands of vulnerable people on social media.

Thirdly, if you are feeling lost or disconnected with this world please seek a therapist if possible or practice mindfulness exercises to help you feel less dissociated with this world. As someone who used to feel this way i absolutely feel like this world is my home now after getting help.

I hope this explains this practice pretty well. Its totally okay to explore new things but we must be responsible and do it safely for the sake of more vulnerable people.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: To Charm a Dark Prince by Kathryn Ann Kingsley

3.25/5. Releases 8/18/2023.

For when you're vibing with... campy Arthuriana feels, a very light shade of gray "dark" heroes, interdimensional antics, and talking cats.

Suddenly transported to Avalon, Gwen is kept held captive by Mordred, the Prince in Iron. Though feared by many, Mordred is gentle with her--but with with secrets and her life at stake, Gwen doesn't know if she can give in to their mutual attraction. Which might be a good idea.

I loved Kathryn Ann Kingsley's Tenebris trilogy--but I don't know if I've quite found the right followup in her work yet. She has such a big backlist, however, that I'm willing to try more; and if you're looking for something a little dark that skews somewhat younger (while definitely not being YA) this could be right book for you.

Quick Takes:

--Tonally, for the sake of comparison, Kingsley's Tenebris books are a bit gory, solidly dark (if funny and at points a little campy), and feature everything from tentacles of "my lover is possessed by a million monsters and I'm in love with all of the above and collectively they penetrate all my holes". This book is more "magical girl has magical adventure, Quest for Camelot But with A Lil Sex, and there's some morally gray stuff but it's pretty light".

--What I think that can be compared to is ACOTAR. I definitely got the Sarah J. Maas vibes with this one. Now, that's not a bad thing, necessarily; there's a reason why SJM and her work is so popular. Does it work for me? Not quite. It gives the a work a really young vibe--not so much in content, but in feeling. Gwen is nineteen, yes, but she's honestly a very young nineteen. Another fantasy heroine I've read recently was twenty, and read so much older than Gwen. Yes, you're nineteen, but this is life and death; to me, that would provoke some quick growing up, but that's not for everyone.

All of this makes sense, as the book is comp'd directly to SJM. The other author mentioned is Danielle L. Jensen, whose work I liked a lot more back in the day. I see both comparisons, and the book is definitely heading for a similar sweet spot that doesn't feel quite adult, YA, or new adult to me.

--Part of why I requested this was the mention of Mordred. If you're super into King Arthur and retellings, I wouldn't say this is for purists. I'm not a purist, but it's just very much its own thing. I appreciate the creativity, and it does go a long way towards making Mordred more approachable as a softer love interest.

--The story does feel both rushed and slowed in a way, to me. It's the first in a series and ends on a cliffhanger, which I expected. But you still cover a lot of relationship ground for Gwen and Mordred--a little too much for the length, to me. He doesn't give her much shit and is very quickly entranced with her; she doesn't really put up much of a fight with him. It's fine, I just could use more angst and indecision.

The Sex Stuff:

As per a Kingsley slow burn, there's not much sex in this one. It happens, and it's explicit. It's nothing crazy (I hate to mention this again--the first Tenebris book also had relatively little sex, but what there was.... was hot, and not very tender) but it's good.

So yeah, I appreciate the effort and creativity here, but I do hope that Kingsley will eventually lean back into something a little darker, a little less YA-coded. I'll happily look for that book if it exists! Until then, I do recommend this to those who are looking to scratch that SJM itch--I think you'll be pleased with this.

Thanks to Netgalley and Second Sky for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[sparrowkin]

While I recognize I’m too damn old for tumblr...

I accept the risk that I am shouting this out into the void. Having said so...Here are some thoughts I have had on bullying in the present and the past.

There is something people who refuse to engage in or use our time bullying that bullies--and abusive personalities--of nearly every stripe will simply never have. I wish with all my faded ginger hair-covered Druid brains that this thing was enough to protect the targets of abusers and bullies. I can’t pretend, even for an instant that it’s enough on its own; that would be dangerous and irresponsible. What I hope is that by sharing something even so simple that it’s probably a gold medalist in the “staggeringly obvious” category, if you’ve missed it or forgotten it, that you may get some recharge or some reinforcement or affirmation out of it. Thank you for bearing with me, whoever you are.

In Roald Dahl’s Matilda there’s a scene where Mr. Wormwood rips the book out of his daughter hands in rage that she is enjoying something that he cannot see the point of, that he cannot share or experience for himself, without (I think) reflecting on why this may be so. He rips every page from her library copy of The Red Pony,  this self-righteous rage at what he sees as exclusion (spoiler: it’s not exclusion Mr. awful fictional father of the year) just accelerating at every tear and crumple. 

What he can’t see is that he has not been excluded, unfairly or otherwise; he has exiled himself. An enormous percentage of bullies and abusers (I think) have at some point in their life exiled themselves without necessarily realizing that it was the kind of exile most likely to become forever. They do this for uncountable reasons, for all the motivations the kinder (than me, I am neither nice nor forgiving) guidance counselors and teachers and checked-out but well meaning parents assign; instability or violence they themselves are suffering from, insecurity, fear, unmanaged rage, undiagnosed mental health needs, the desperate need to fill a void by fitting in with some people even those people are predatory f&ckwafflers...Or even more benign reasons. More understandable and relatable reasons. All of their friends have declared themselves too old for She-Ra and just want to watch Grease. Jim Henson dies and suddenly nobody thinks Muppets are cool. Art projects are never going to be as good as That One Girl who Can Draw...

(Sometimes I think it’s happened because historically, things have been really, deeply bad and people have been pulled away from “childish stuff” to grow up faster, provide for their family in need sooner. Given how things went down in the Depression for my grandfather and basic empathy I am not here to cr&p on anybody in that position.)

What I’m getting at is that for a wide variety of possible reasons, good bad and ugly...people give up their appreciation of wonder. Sometimes it’s bit by bit so someone doesn’t even notice, sometimes it’s accelerated. Once gone though, it’s not impossible to get back but it is difficult, and our general society in the US doesn’t make that easier. 

Now the historian in me is making faces and grunting and preparing to sit up and hurl things--probably unintelligible personal papers from the 18th century or Civil War privy contents or toenail clippings of the Venerable Bede so let me just clarify; this is a theory based on the experiences and interpretations of literary and non fiction works by one person. One. I’m an undergrad lit major, I have a grad degree in history and some training in Mainline Liberal Ministry. I am spectacularly good at being wrong; I could be wrong here.

A sense of wonder and joy does not have to come from the Big Experiences in your life--that trip you were lucky to take to the Grand Canyon, the fan vaulting in Westminster Abbey, the Pacific or Atlantic Ocean, or a whale watch. I mean it can...of course it can but it can be very small as well...Skyscapes at 2pm from on foot wherever you live or for a hot minute in the car or through a window. The cat doing something ridonculous... A color in an ad on a Bus, a sparrow. TREES.--okay now I’m getting into what could be mistaken as Inspirational BS here so moving on...it can be a book, a story that grips each side of your head, pulls you down to the page and will not let you go until it’s over and you’re transported, transformed, legally High off Your Arse...wishing there was more. Sometimes it doesn’t matter worth a damn how you encounter that story--book, TV, movie, song...

It is my theory based on empirical observations and data from a very limited sample pool, I genuinely suspect, I even believe it is possible that bullies and abusers have exiled themselves so profoundly from Wordsworth’s (I can’t stand the guy but he got this idea right) “Inner Eye” and from the capacity to take in the larger world that they have lost the ability to do so in any way. There’s no inspiration or laughter or strength or hope or determination to draw from anything but domination of every nasty kind possible over anyone they can get into a position to dominate. (However unfounded my concern may be to clarify I do not mean a healthy responsible Dom/Sub dynamic here). In actuality, dominate may be the word they use to themselves, consciously but it’s really more about needing to tyrannize (not in the Greek city state definition) and then destroy any and all opposition. That imperative grows until a child reading a book becomes how dare they!?! because the bully/abuser recognizes that here is at least some portion of another human being’s experience that they can no more control than they can shape the weather. That chink in the armor, that gap in the advancing charge, that inaccessible bit is an unholy and raging terror to a lot of bullies and abusers. 

if you’ve been bullied it may well have been more than I was. It may still be going on. You may be in the slow and horrendously dangerous process of extracting yourself and everyone you love from the reach of one or more of the worst kind of bullies: abusers. I wish I could help you more than by simply saying all this. I’m more sorry than you will likely ever know that it’s not enough. But it’s out there.  (PS, I have ADHD. There will be typos.)

[teaveetamer]

The Ask Answerathon

Long post, but I'm just gonna bang out like 90% of these anons in one go because the thought of making 20 additional separate posts about this issue is, frankly, exhausting.

I always hate the argument that "Edelgard critics just hate 3H", ugh. I won't say its my favorite game in the series (not by a long shot) but I didn't develop a disdain for it until the fandom decided to act like this. And even then, I don't like Edelgard much but there are absolutely parts of 3H that I do enjoy, even if my opinion on the game started out kind of mediocre and it was all downhill from there.

I assume this is referring to the post I made about how liking characters who do bad things in games is not indicative of who you are as a person.

I mean, I don't particularly like her for her actions either, not to mention the sexist writing surrounding her that I've already discussed elsewhere. But her personality isn't particularly endearing to me either (I like the occasional "cold girl who melts for you" type of character, I just don't think it was done well here) and her stans didn't help. But I would never imply people who just happen to like Edelgard support stuff like genocide or imperialism... the problem is the people who claim liking Edelgard is this super moral awesome thing to do while also openly defending imperialism and genocide.

I still haven't played Live A Live!!!! I've been meaning to get to it, but honestly? I'm kind of feeling a nostalgia trip coming on so I might just go play My Sims after I'm done answering these asks, lol.

I will take your word for it since I am not familiar enough with whatever you're referencing to argue for or against it.

"That didn’t happen.

And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.

And if it was, that’s not a big deal. (That guy is Here)

And if it is, that’s not my fault.

And if it was, I didn’t mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it" (Though they occasionally dip into this one)

FORREAL. Like I won't claim Nilsh was flawless. I didn't follow him in part because I was kind of sick of the discourse when he really got going and because I didn't see much point in constantly responding to takes you don't agree with (which is what he did for a while). However, I think what has transpired after Nilsh's departure has just made it abundantly clear that their problem wasn't possibly someone coming into their space and interrupting their fun by disputing them. It was literally anyone disagreeing with them anywhere at all about literally anything. Even if you think Nilsh, or even BWIIDT (because they read Cap's fanfic) were ever out of line for what they did, that doesn't explain coming after the multitude of creators on this platform who have literally never done anything to you. And the response was far disproportionate to the actions done to them. It's like responding to a light slap by beating someone and their entire family and group of friends until they're all on life support in the hospital.

(I've been informed that referring to someone as a "Kevin" is a German thing. I personally associate it with that semi-infamous Reddit thread from a high school teacher)

Anyway I won't speculate on his mental state. I think the way he's been responding is incredibly troubling and indicative that he might need to step away from online discourse for a while, though.

I'll say to this that I'm definitely not a big fan of kink shaming. That said, it's very clear that this guy has not squared away the ways in which his kinks contrast with his espoused personal views, and I do think that could be a point of self-reflection for him.

I am of the opinion that kink does not necessarily contrast with social justice, because kinks (provided everything is both legal and consensual) are simply adults expressing power and control over their sexuality. Considering how stigmatized sexuality is, especially for the LGBTQ+ community, this can be an extremely valuable tool for helping people take back power from the prevailing, dominant, cishet sex-negative culture.

If those kinks do contrast something (e.g. an infantilization of women fetish naturally slotting into sexist mindsets) then it might be worthwhile to unpack... but also, I think saying "yeah I think it's hot, and also I think sexism should die in a fire and I would never play out this kink with someone who wasn't a fully consenting adult who is also completely into it" is a lot less skeevy to me than trying to hide or be ashamed of the kink.

But anyway, I think the way he has been treating the women of this community who disagree with him is a lot more telling about his stances toward women than his kinks or his favorite characters.

This behavior isn't exactly exclusive to men and feminism either, though obviously that's the most pertinent example. The most recent example I can think of was some Twitter thread where some (from what I understand) cisgender woman tried to make an "educational powerpoint" on how to "properly" treat gay men in fictional writing and in fandom. Which was littered with a bunch of weird stuff that had absolutely no basis in the actual gay community (I read it at the time, I recall it being a lot of really infantilizing "plz don't write things I don't like" type of points). And when gay men in fandom tried to call the OP out, OP blocked all of them and started complaining about how everyone was just so unnecessarily mean to them for no reason whatsoever before they eventually deleted the post for the backlash.

I couldn't tell you where it comes from. Some kind of audacity that comes with privilege that makes you believe you're allowed to speak for groups you don't belong to, I guess? There's admittedly a fine line to walk between being an ally and being a bulldozer, but I think your clearest indication that you are behaving like the latter should be people from the group you're trying to defend literally telling you that you're acting like a bulldozer and not listening to them.

I suppose it's appropriate for the month. I guess those people really need a spooky month boogeyman and Nilsh is always their go-to lmao.

I'd prefer if we don't resort to ad hominems in my ask box. I know I've probably been a little lenient on this, but now that I've had a few days away from the intensity of the situation it's not something I'd like to encourage on my platform. I'll also reiterate that I don't want anyone here to send the guy harassment. Keep any interaction constructive and/or calling out his actions.

Anyway, I can't say him not responding to anons that aren't completely positive to him is out of line with what I was expecting. The guy has never been interested in "debating" or "correcting misinformation" like he claims. It has always been about cultivating a certain image and trying to punish people who disagree with him. He wants to be the "hero" that saves the standom from the "evil Edelgard Criticals" and he doesn't look very righteous if he has a bunch of people telling him that they don't like him or think he deserves criticism for his actions.

Yep, this is an extremely common inroad to radicalization. If you position yourself as a victim, then the logic follows that there must be an oppressor for you to unite against. In some cases this is absolutely justified (like, when people are actually victimized by bigotry) though you should be careful people don't take advantage of that. Aaaaand in some cases, it is absolutely not justified (like, when someone else doesn't like your waifu and expresses that on the internet).