#its quiet in Beverly Hills

[thedemonwhostealsyoursocks]

Depression

I just spent the past half hour crying because of my gender dysphoria, I wish people actually saw me as a boy, I’d rather be the worlds okayest fuck boy than the worlds most genuine and beautiful girl. I’ve also been listening to “it’s quiet in Beverly Hills” by YUNGBLUD on repeat and it helped me feel a little better. But can someone please tell me a joke, or just make me smile a little? I wish I could be happy right now.

edit: I just found out my best friend was working on a puzzle the entire time I was having a breakdown… it’s kind of funny. Also I ended up calling my other friend, and he tried to comfort me for a half hour before I just pretended to be fine hung up then had a complete meltdown.

[sbdskate]

Laws Of Attraction (Epilogue 1) - DR x lawyer!fem!reader

Summary: Daniel signed with RB at the end of the 2022 season, ending your attorney-client relationship. You decide to give romance a try in the off season.

Pairing: lawyer!fem!reader x Daniel Ricciardo

Warnings (18+): fluff, language, *SMUT*: p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap)

Word Count: 2,291

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue 1

February 2023

You woke up to his breath tickling the back of your neck, which you had now grown pleasantly accustomed to over the last few months. His arm snaked over your waist with his hand lightly resting just below your breasts. Sometimes his face nuzzled into the back of your shoulder so that you could feel his stubble lightly tickle you. You treasured these soft, quiet moments that were hidden from the rest of the world.

By a miracle, your budding relationship had not yet been sniffed out by paparazzi or investigative fans, but you knew it wouldn’t last forever. The distance was hard, as expected, but ended up being more manageable than you originally thought. Of course it helped that one of you had almost unlimited resources. He ended up spending a good chunk of time at his property in Beverly Hills which at least got you in the same continent and country. You would make up excuses to work out of the LA office for a week or so and The Firm suspected nothing of it or didn’t care enough to ask why. During the day you worked on other client matters while he hung out with Scotty and other friends, allegedly figuring out plans for the next Enchante drop. At night you stayed with him, cooking dinners together, throwing small parties, watching the sun set over the hills.

When you weren’t on the West Coast, he occasionally stayed with you in your small NYC apartment in the West Villiage. At first you protested that he should stay somewhere else, that there wasn’t enough room for the both of you, and that your accommodations were far too modest for the extravagant lifestyle he had become so accustomed to. Fine, you book the hotel, he would say with a smirk knowing full well you wouldn’t be able to afford the reservation to override him. But he so desperately wanted to a glimpse into your home that you could hardly say no.

It was easier for him to explore the city in the dead of winter where he blended in with everyone else on the street, bundled in at least four layers to keep warm. With a hat and scarf covering most of his face, he went about his day with the rare freedom of being unidentified and anonymous. When you were done with work you would sneak into the diviest dive bar you could find, consisting of dark basements with dark liquor. Or you would order takeout for dinner and eat it out of the container on your couch with a beer or glass of wine.

The two of you relished these moments of normalcy. Including moments like now, in that tiny apartment, on a chilly Friday in February where you bathed in the rays of sun that began to poke through your curtains in the light of morning. He had been on Stephen Colbert the night before and you watched in awe from the comfort of your couch that the man on the screen, in a suit you picked out, would be coming home to you at the end of the program.

Your eyes fluttered open before your alarm went off, Daniel’s breath making the hairs on the back of your neck stand. You smiled to yourself, still unable to believe this was your new reality. Just to be sure, you gently grabbed the hand positioned on your upper abdomen to move it to cup your breast. Perhaps you should have let him sleep, but you couldn’t pass up the chance to have extra time with him. You felt his breath pattern change as he slowly woke from the delicate touch. The silver lining of long distance was that neither of you were lacking in libido. Granted your relationship was still in its infancy, of course you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.

He pulled you in close flush against his chest and gave your shoulder a kiss.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, voice muffled by skin. You held your hand over his, squeezing it.  

“Mmm good morning.” The crook of his nose caressed the path that followed the trails of kisses along your shoulder blade. He began to move his thumb over your sensitive nipple, feeling as it puckered under his touch. Your breath hitched as you squirmed, molding yourself into him. You partially turned your head to face him without disrupting your position. He propped himself on his elbow to meet you halfway and planted a messy kiss on your lips.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look in the morning?” You used to think he was joking, not that you could blame him if he were. There were people who were elegant sleepers, but you knew you were not one of them. Your hair almost always ended up looking like it could home a few birds or small rodent. Your eyes were puffy, slightly crusty, and every now and then there was some dried drool for good measure. Now that you had been at this for nearly two months, it was evident he was very serious each time.

“You have, but you can tell me again,” you mumbled as a smile grew on your face and stretched your limbs.

“You’re beautiful.” It came out muffled as your lips pressed together again, as his thumb continued to lazily graze your nipple.

You gently dragged his hand from your chest to the growing heat between your legs. You pressed against him again, feeling his hardened member against your ass. You smirked, satisfied with the results of your minimal efforts.

He kissed the crook of your neck as he drew tiny circles around your clit with his middle finger. You reached your arm behind you to gently scratch his head as little moans escaped your lips, breath becoming uneven with desire.

“Are you going to be late for work?” Ever the gentleman, you could tell he asked to be polite but it wasn’t actually a point of concern. You grinded into his groin in frustration.

“Not that I care at the moment, but no.” You moved his fingers even further south so he could feel your neediness. “I have twelve minutes and I don’t want to think about responsibilities until then. Do what you will with that information.”

A husky groan escaped his lips feeling how wet you were for him. His hand left you momentarily to stroke himself a few times before aligning with your entrance and you reached down to help guide him.

Two months, and it still took your breath away how full he made you feel. Your back arched into him and he caught your hips in his hand. Laced with sleep, he held on as he dragged in and out of you in deliberate, languid motions as though time didn’t exist. His hand moved slowly up your body, to your waist, over your soft stomach, the swell of your breast, where it snaked over your chest and enclosed around your throat with a gentle firmness that made your core clench. It was equally delicate and possessive. It delighted every surface of your body but his leisure pace now maddened you.

“Faster,” you choked out. He smirked as he slowed down the roll of his hips, tightening his grip around your neck. If he wasn’t awake before, he was now. Daniel was fascinated – you ordinarily enjoyed lazy morning sex but today you were extraordinarily needy for some reason. Not that he was mad at it. Your eyes twisted shut and you moaned through gritted teeth, simultaneously aroused and frustrated. “Fuck you.”  

“Happily,” he taunted. “What’s the magic word?”

“Please.” He felt your body quiver around him as you begged for more of him. He closed his eyes and prayed that he would last for the remaining six minutes.

He obliged your pleas, only letting go of your neck to lift your leg up.

Oh

Right there

His thrusts deepened with the new angle and watched excitedly as your arm moved down. He couldn’t see you playing with yourself but knew you were as your moans became louder and more frequent and he felt your walls squeeze and twitch. The image seared into his brain and he knew he was done. He inhaled the scent from your hair in his face and he wished he could see you. But you were warm and tight and wet and perfect and he couldn’t stop himself.

“Fuck, I’m-”  

“Yes”

Your hips stuttered and muscles spasmed around him. He spilled into you as his fingers sank into your skin, his vice grip unable to let go. You both laid limp for a moment, panting to catch your breath. Eventually you pulled yourself away from him to roll over.

Your hair was knotted and your flushed face was adorned with a shit-eating grin. You were stunning. Glowing.

“Good morning,” you said cheekily.

“Good morning,” he responded. He lifted his arm, inviting you to use his chest as a pillow. You did so gladly, intertwining yourselves in each other once more like vines. It was nice for all of forty-seven seconds before your alarm went off. He pulled you tighter before you could try to get up.

“Now I have to get going.” He placed a kiss at the top of your head.

“What if we just stayed in bed all day instead.” You groaned in silent agreement, but nonetheless peeled his arms off you.

“I would love to but I have to work. And so do you.” You kissed him before hopping into the shower.

Right. Daniel had almost forgotten that today was his first official day back as a Red Bull employee. His presence was requested for the livery launch set to happen in Midtown in a few hours. He laid in bed and smiled to himself as he listened to you sing I Just Had Sex by The Lonely Island.

“I still can’t believe it’s in New York,” you said casually as you poured yourself a cup of coffee. He hummed in agreement. “Suspiciously convenient, really.” You glanced at him through your peripheral to gauge his reaction. Nothing. Though he did look oddly pensive. You turned suddenly to confront him. “You’re sure you didn’t say anything to Christian?” He laughed at your skeptic accusation.

“Not a peep.”

“You swear it?” You held out your pinky.

“I swear it.” He linked his with yours.

“Kiss it,” you demanded. He rolled his eyes but obliged lowering his lips to his knuckles as you did yours, his focus on you never wavering.  

You continued getting ready, though you couldn’t shake the sense that there was an uneasy intensity to him this morning. At first you thought it might just be nerves about the livery event, but then you caught him staring at you in the mirror while you were brushing your teeth. You spit and turned around.

“Ok you’re being weird. What is it?”

“I’m not being weird!” he said defensively. You brandished your toothbrush at him threateningly.

“Yes, you are. You’ve barely said two words since we had sex.” He scoffed.

“I’ve said lots of words. That was five just now –“

“There’s nothing wrong with being nervous, you know.”

“I’m not nervous –“

“Then what is it?”

He both loved and hated that you could read him like a book. You seemed to be intuitively aware of all of his deepest thoughts - though maybe not this one. He watched as you walked into the kitchen to pack your work bag. You filled your travel mug as you patiently waited for his response. He took a deep breath before jumping into the metaphorical deep end.

“Since things are official with Red Bull as of today, I figured we should be too.”

You snorted coffee through your nose. A not-so-subtle tomato hue dusted your cheeks immediately. Yet again, you weren’t sure why you were so surprised. The man was traveling half way around the world for you. With the amount of time, effort, care, and money spent, how could you ever believe he would lull you into something as malignant as a situationship? As it was in the beginning, you were the stop-gap preventing things from progressing. He had been respectful with taking things at a glacial pace, as you kindly requested. He had given you the proof you needed that there was a way to make the relationship work when you weren’t traveling constantly together. When you considered that you had now existed in each other’s orbits for nearly five months, he really had been as patient as a saint with you.  

But he misconstrued your stunned silence as confusion, so he rephrased his proposition.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Your timing was impeccable as always, as you choked on your own saliva before breaking into a coughing fit. He sighed and poured you a glass of water, slightly disgruntled by your antics.

He had been putting this off. He had wanted to wait for the right time, for it to be romantic and dreamy, everything you deserved. But each time the opportunity arose he lost his nerve, and now here you both were: in your kitchen, before you had to go to work, choking on thin air, decidedly unromantic.

“I’ll take that as a no.” You shook your head ferociously before attempting to sip the liquid. He frowned “Well shit, you don’t have to be so enthusiastic about it.” You shook your head again, then nodded. “Yes, that’s right, you’re not interested?” You decided that this was the worst game of charades, ever. You shook your head again.

“Yes,” *cough* “I want,” *cough* “to be your,” *cough* “girlfriend.” Despite the fact that you were barely breathing, Daniel’s thousand-watt smile appeared before you.

“Drink your fucking water and stop coughing so I can kiss you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Please don't be a ghost reader and thank you for reading! I'm happy I've been on a roll with my posting schedule but I know the next Epilogue part will not be ready by next week, so expect a little bit of a break after this (hopefully not four months again).

And thank you @thef1diary for your help

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

There Is No Us

Part 2 of the Jeremy Series (title pending lol)

(Read Part 1)

Words: 1,952

Warnings: Angst

Author’s Notes: Includes a look into when reader and Jeremy first met as kids.

15 Years Ago

You jumped at the sound of the principal slamming her filing cabinet shut. You shifted in your metal chair in front of her desk, your case worker next to you. This was your fifth school in as many months, and you were used to being the new kid. “So, Y/N Y/L/N, welcome to Beverly Vista Middle School. I’ll admit, most people have a thicker file when they transfer schools,” she shook your practically empty yellow folder, “but no matter. There is always a place for new faces here.” She gave you a smile that looked plastered on instead of sincere. “So, what brings you here?” You opened your mouth to say that you had gotten kicked out of your last four schools for fighting, but your case worker spoke up first. “She’s trying to get in with a family here in Beverly Hills, and we wanted to give her a head start.” She looked at you, her eyes commanding you to keep your mouth shut. You smiled to yourself; you had gotten great satisfaction out of giving her the run around, and she was tired.

“Wonderful! I hope that goes well for you!” The principal tucked your folder underneath her arm, standing up. “We usually have new students pair up with a current students, so they can show them the ropes.” She opened the door to an empty hallway, turning her head left and right. “Aw, there! Jeremy, can you join us please?” She called down the hall, a tall, lanky boy in a tie-dye t-shirt and linen pants emerging in the doorway. He was cute, his curly hair sticking up in all directions. He wasn’t even wearing a backpack, instead carrying a cotton tote with the words “Why Can’t We Be Friends” printed on the front.

“This is Y/N, she is new. Can you show her around today?” He looked you up and down before turning back to the principal. “Will this get me out of detention?”

“What did you get detention for? Raiding a hippie’s closet?” You laughed to yourself while the room remained quiet. You got up and walked out of the room without acknowledging your case worker or Jeremy. He watched you walk down the hall, before running to catch up.

“So, what’s your deal?” Jeremy asked, sipping on a cloudy, brown drink in a glass bottle. You both had decided to forego class to hang by the bleachers on the football field. “What are you drinking? It smells like shit.” You scrunched your nose. “It’s kombucha”, he took another sip, “its fermented black tea.”

“What happened to Gatorade?” you asked as you propped your legs up on the bench below you. “My parents are into health stuff. We’re all vegan.” “That sounds terrible.” “Actually, it’s really healthy to be vegan. Did you know that the average person’s lifespan increases by 20 years when they stop eating red meat?” He spat off facts like he was a health textbook. You tried tuning him out, but the food talk was making your stomach rumble. “Are you hungry?”, he asked, turning to his bag, and pulling out a turkey sandwich. You devoured it in half a second. “I thought you were vegan?” you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. “Sometimes I still really want meat, so I hustled it off this kid this morning in the bus line. Bet him he couldn’t make three free throws in a row.” Jeremy laughed, pleased with himself. “Are you homeless or something?” You rolled your eyes, “or something.” He continued to press, “Are you in foster care?” You turned to him suddenly your eyes wide. “Please don’t tell anyone.” He agreed, mostly because you looked terrified. “How could you tell?” Jeremy gathered his things, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “This is Beverly Hills. Most kids have new everything: new shoes, new phones. You have none of that.”

Present Day

“There’s really nothing to talk about.” You walked around your student’s desks, laying a worksheet on top of each spot. “Are you kidding me? You kissed your best friend last night after finding out he broke up with his girlfriend, and you think that’s just old news?” Nia followed you around the room, desperate for more information about last night. Nia started out as your teaching assistant, quickly becoming one of your best friends, besides Jeremy. “That sounds bad, doesn’t it?” You stopped Nia in her tracks. “Uh huh”, she shook her head while looking over your shoulder. “Kyle, honey, we don’t eat dirt!” She ran up to the window, banging on it to stop a child from needing a trip to the nurse. When he was in the clear, she turned back to you. “Are you going to talk to him?”

“I’ve tried multiple times, but he hasn’t answered.” You pulled your phone from your back pocket and looked at the screen. No responses to your dozens of messages. “Maybe he forgot to pay his phone bill. You know he’s always broke.” You contemplated her response, before shaking yourself out of it. “No, he knows how to get in contact with me. If he wanted to, he would.” Nia laughed, grabbing the stack of papers out of your hand. “When have you ever known a man to do the right thing? Go see him. I’ll cover you over lunch.” You gave Nia a quick hug. “Thank you”, you whispered to her as you grabbed your purse and ran out to the parking lot.

****

Jeremy could barely hear you banging on the door over the loud whirring of the blender motor. After about five knocks you let yourself in with your key. He was in the kitchen, crafting up another smoothie he swore would extend your life expectancy. The air smelled of parsley and ginger, making you gag. “Hey,” you stood in the threshold, shifting your weight between each foot. Jeremy took a sip of his drink, just staring at you. When you were kids, Jeremy gave you the silent treatment a lot. Whenever you did something to piss him off, which was often when you were younger, he would remain silent whenever you were in the room. He said he thought it gave him some control over the situation, but it just pissed you off. Years later and he was still using the same technique.

“We’re not kids anymore Jeremy, say something.” He just lifted his shoulders, unsure of what to say. “Fine, I’ll start.” You grabbed his hand and drug him to the couch. “Listen, what happened last night. It was a mistake. I never should have let you kiss me.” He sat his glass down on the coffee table, a green smoothie mustache left on his upper lip. He wiped it off with his sleeve. “You mean you kissed me.” You scoffed; he was delusional. “What? You’re kidding right?” He turned his body to you, pulling his leg on the couch. “When Tatiana asks, I have to tell her you kissed me. There is no way she’ll take me back if she thinks I kissed you.” Your heart dropped. “Oh. You’re still trying to get back with her.” It wasn’t a question, so much as a reminder to yourself that there was nothing more than friendship between the two of you. “Of course. She gets back from tour in a couple weeks, and I’m going to get cleaned up for her. No more pills.” He walked to the kitchen, stopping mid-way, and turning back to you. “Can you give me the rest of those pill bottles? I wanna throw them away.” You emptied your purse out onto the coffee table, a few bottles bouncing to the floor. You hurried out the door without saying goodbye, feeling the lump in your throat start to build.

****

You and Jeremy had a standing dinner every Wednesday night; you of course paid for both meals. You showed up at the restaurant knowing that he wasn’t going to come. He was too busy trying to get his girlfriend back.

You choked on your vodka soda when you saw him stroll through the dining room, sitting down across from you. He shrugged off his jacket, pulling out the menu. You knew something was wrong because he got the same thing every time, and never looked at the menu.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, taking another sip of your drink.

“What do you mean? We have dinner every Wednesday, and I am starving.” He clapped his hands together, trying to flag the waiter down. That familiar feeling of emotions building from earlier today was creeping up on you. “Do I mean that little to you?” you edged out, trying not to sob in front of him. Jeremy looked up from his menu, a frown settling on his face. “What are you talking about?”

“Stop playing dumb! I told you that I loved you last night, we kissed, and now it’s business as usual for you. Do I mean that little to you that it’s so easy to sweep my feelings under the rug?” He eyed some patrons walking past him, clearing his throat. “Can you stop making a scene? People are staring.” You grabbed your jacket and stormed out of the restaurant, ignoring Jeremy’s calls for you to return.

****

“Y/N, wait” Jeremy attempted to stop you, but you continued stomping down the sidewalk to the bus stop. “At least let me drive you home. I’m parked around the corner.” You couldn’t even look at him, tears starting to fall down your face. “Ha.” He began to walk away, but your laugh stopped him cold. “What is your fuckin’ problem?” You rolled your shoulders back. He was making you weak, and you couldn’t let him get a grip on you like this. “Fine. See ya.”

“Why don’t you love me?” Jeremy took a deep breath, his back turned to you. He really couldn’t do this. “I do love you. I’ve loved you for almost my entire life.” He was finally looking at you. You shook your head, wiping your eyes. “No. I don’t mean like you love a sister. I mean like you love Tatiana. Why don’t you love me like you love her?”. You took a deep, shaky breath. He pressed his fingers to his lips, sucking his teeth. “Please don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Try to ruin our relationship with something stupid like love.”

“Love isn’t stupid, Jeremy.”

“That stupid all-consuming love bullshit is. That’s what you want from me, and I won’t give you that. I can’t give you that.”

“Don’t you think I deserve that?”

“Not from me. From someone much better than me.” You walked toward him, the instinct to comfort him overwhelming.

“I don’t understand.” You grabbed his hand, Jeremy allowing you to hold it. “I have created a mess with Tatiana. All she asked was for me to stay clean, and stop playing basketball, and I couldn’t do that. I let my personal issues get in the way of our relationship, and now there is no relationship. I won’t do that to you. You are a part of me, always have been, always will be, and I won’t fuck this up. Please try to understand. I need you.”

You let go of his hand, your tears stopped. “I don’t know how to convince you that you deserve that same love you think is so stupid. Someone who supports you and takes you with all the bullshit included. I just hope that one day you come around. You know where to find me if you do.” You decided to take the long way home that night instead of the bus.

[triskhellion]

Irie

Rated: Explicit (4.4k)

Relationship: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale, Original Characters

Tags: POV Stiles, Getting Together, Jamaica, Gratuitous Nyammin' & Jammin', Patois/Patwah, Explicit Sexual Content, Hickeys, Song Lyrics

Summary: The one where Stiles and Derek go on an errand for Deaton and have some time to kill in Jamaica. They thoroughly enjoy themselves eating, swimming, relaxing, and exploring the island…and then each other.

Soundtrack

Super Blue Moon prompts: Joy, Grain, Red Haze & Summer (Mead Moons prompts: Aphrodisiacs, Claiming, Herbs, Hot & Revelry)

TW Anchor Down (Full Moon Round) prompts: Word - Unstoppable, Phrase - “Grab the bull by its horns," Song - "Feel Good Inc.," Trope - Roommates, Picture - Cove @tw-anchor-down

Usually when Stiles got a message from Deaton about some errand or another it ended up with him and Derek searching for an artifact buried in Back of Everywhere, North Dakota during the dead of winter or rifling through a dusty pile of old papers in a dank, foreboding basement in Romania while being stalked by a cāpcāun or something.

But not this time. For once it appeared they were being sent somewhere warm and sunny in service of the supernatural. They were headed to the Caribbean to fetch half a dozen varieties of rare and apparently invaluable live plants for the druid that needed to be transported carefully under specific conditions once the specimens were ready.

What’s more, because they were on their way back from visiting Cora in Ecuador instead of trekking all the way back to Beacon Hills and then turning around to fly south again at most a week later they were just going straight to Jamaica and would have some time to kill. 

Beverly, an Obeahwoman whose network of multidisciplinary magic practitioners they’d gotten to know during their frequent trips to the Bay Area, lit up with excitement during their video call when she heard they’d be going to the country of her birth. She not only had recommendations for them, but tips and resources as well.

“Look, the big all-inclusive hotels and the curated activities are fun, not gonna lie, but there’s a lot more to the island than what you can find in those expensive, insular spaces if you’re interested in a bit of adventure or some actual peace and quiet,” she told them, dark eyes sparkling.

He and Derek had looked at each other and grinned. On one hand, there was something to be said for lounging around and having a parade of colorful cocktails pass by — he was a year past the drinking age of 18, of course he checked — but on the other, an adventure that didn’t involve something trying to kill them for once or some secluded relaxation would be nice. Plus, he was sure there were lots of other places a bit off the beaten path where he could chill on the beach with a beverage.

And so here they were careening on some winding mountain highway in a van driven by a sprightly 30-something guy sporting sponge twists in a fade named Desmond, or Dezzy, who was apparently a cousin of Bev’s.

“More like ‘Dizzy’,” he whispered to Derek when the way too calm driver, who was currently humming along to “Getaway” by Earth, Wind and Fire, overtook a car on a longer stretch and cheerfully honked the horn, swerving back into the left lane before they could be smashed or knocked off the mountain by an oncoming semi truck. The tires hugged the edge of the road around the next curve and they all leaned to the side.

They’d flown into Montego Bay a couple days before, leaving in the wee hours and arriving in the late morning. They shared a room with two beds as usual while on a job at the guest house Bev hooked them up with. It was in Runaway Bay about a 20 minute walk to beach, which they visited as soon as they’d settled in and got their bearings. If Stiles had his way he’d be wearing one of his two pairs of swim trunks the entire trip.

The owner, Tish, sent them off with a tote bag of sandwiches made from slices of a sweet and spiced brown bread and some salty, tangy, cheddar-based cheese that apparently came from a can. There were also a couple bottles each of grapefruit Ting and D&G kola champagne. They took their bounty and beach supplies down to the white sands and ate in the shade of an almond tree, the gentle, bright blue waves beckoning them. 

Derek didn’t need sunscreen like Stiles did, but he said he found the low level burn before his body healed annoying, so they both applied the SPF 50 lotion afterward, helping with each other’s backs when done with rest of themselves. Stiles tried to distract himself from the expanse of skin and muscle underneath his roaming palms, blushing when he found himself absentmindedly tracing the triskelion between the werewolf’s shoulder blades. He then had to fight to keep from making any noises when it was his turn, deft fingers spreading the goopy substance over him. 

As soon as those warm, massaging hands were removed from his hyper aware body — his, uh, starting to react body — Stiles took off running toward the clear water in an attempt to both hide and dampen the state he was in. Derek was soon chasing after him and he felt a thrill of excitement as he crashed through the warm liquid before being tackled. He came up sputtering and shaking his head, retaliating as soon as he wiped his stinging eyes by kicking water at the smug wolf and getting into an all out splash battle until he tired out.

They floated and swam, goofed around trying to knock each other over, and just hung out semi-crouched in the sea for a while before returning to land, spreading out towels to sit or lie on and air dry in the hot sun. Stiles looked over to see Derek resting prone with his head on his forearms, eyes closed and smiling. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen the Alpha so at ease and watched him fondly before turning to gaze out at the ships dotting the horizon, fingers trailing through the sand. 

We’ll run away together. We’ll spend some time forever. We’ll never feel bad anymore, flashed through his mind, a relic of summers past.

Heh, if only. Him and Derek? Maybe in another lifetime. Sighing, he pushed the thought away and stretched out on his back, gazing up at the clouds dotting the late afternoon sky.

Stiles was liable to fall asleep right there, but didn’t want to wake up a lobster once the sunscreen stopped being effective, so before he nodded off he poked Derek in the shoulder and suggested either moving back into the shade or heading back to their accommodations. Their hours in the water had worked up an appetite because before the wolf could answer his stomach growled and they both burst out laughing.

Shortly after returning they saw Tish in the side yard picking what looked like bumpy green pinecones from one of the fruit trees. She handed them one to try, a curious fruit with many names. Sweetsop, sugar apple, custard apple, and more. Derek broke it open and the creamy segments of flesh covering black seeds inside were indeed sweet and reminiscent of custard. 

Seeing that they liked it she gave them a couple more and they thanked her, finishing the first one and part of another back in their room.

It was almost dinner time, so they both used the wait to make some phone calls, Stiles to his father and then to Scott in San Diego and Derek to Isaac and Malia to check-in on the pack. If he recalled correctly international calls were around $0.30 cents a minute with his phone plan so he kept each conversation to around 15 minutes knowing he’d probably talk to at least his dad another couple of times. Derek, laconic as usual, had been done with his in a fraction of the time and was reading a novel in Spanish that he picked up in Ecuador by the time he finished.

That evening’s meal was savory brown stew chicken with rice & gungo peas cooked with coconut milk, thyme, and some flavors he enjoyed, but couldn’t quite place. They ended up chatting with Jacob, the cook, when they sat in the courtyard outside the kitchen afterward and he was happy to talk about the food that he and the other staff members prepared. Stiles found that he could mostly understand Patois, or Patwah, at least if he was paying attention and it wasn’t too fast. 

“Dere x-amount ah spice an ‘erb dem, but eff yuh haffi pick tree dat gi yuh dat tayse ah Jamaica? Den mi seh tyme, pimento — wah yuh call allspice — an scotch bonnet peppa a most important. Eff yuh waan mek it four, den skallion fah chuu,” Jacob said, holding up what seemed a cross between a spring and red onion.

That night they turned in early tired out from the long hours of travel and activity and he fell asleep replaying the happiest day he’d had in a long time.

The second morning started with a hearty breakfast of escovitch fish — whole red snapper fried until the skin was crispy and then topped with a vinegary mix of sliced onion, carrot, bell pepper, that ever present fruity and fiery scotch bonnet pepper, and spices — with boiled green banana and circular pieces of a cassava flatbread called bammy. Then it was off to see the sights in Discovery Bay and Ocho Rios. (“Yeah, I’m sending you to some busy tourist destinations tomorrow but they’re popular for a reason,” Bev told them yesterday.)

They explored the Green Grotto Caves first, entertained by the guide explaining its history and about the animals that lived there. The underground lake was really cool and swimming was allowed up above so of course they took a dip in the brilliant aquamarine water. Next came a scenic drive through Fern Gully and then they arrived at Dunn’s River Falls. 

Derek had no problem climbing up the tiers of limestone barefoot, saving Stiles from injury on multiple occasions despite him wearing the silly water shoes. Indignity and near-braining aside, it was fun and the view beautiful. Every so often they would stop to wade or sit in one of the pools, the cold water from the mountains feeling good after the exertion on the sweltering day. After reaching the top and walking down the hill they hung out on the beach where the river emptied into the warm Atlantic. 

We ready for the road!

Now it was their third day on the island and they were on the way to Portland Parish. After a couple hours the van stopped by one of the ubiquitous stands by the road with grills made from halved oil barrels. They climbed out to stretch their legs and he watched as Derek closed his eyes and inhaled the intriguing scents carried by the smoke. 

“Time fi nyam pon jerk, mi yutes,” Dezzy said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. 

He ordered for the three of them and Derek insisted on paying. A platter of jerk chicken and pork and one with long, fried cornmeal dumplings and thick slices of dense bread were soon placed on their table along with 3 chilled green coconuts with straws poking out from the chopped open tops. Each of them were lost in their own little worlds as the combinations of flavors exploding on their tongues, the doubly hot, spiced meats cut with the lightly sweet carbs and washed down with the refreshing coconut water. Dezzy recommended saving the drained fruit for scooping out later.

Then they were back on the road again, the two of them dropped off at another guest house around an hour later, this one right off a beach near Fairy Hill. It belonged to another acquaintance of Bev’s, a friend of a friend or a friend of a cousin or something. Dezzy was staying with relatives nearby and told them to give him a call when they wanted a ride somewhere. They checked in at the reception area and were shown to a cozy, standalone single room dwelling.

Once again they went swimming right away and then ended up joining an impromptu volleyball match and tossing a frisbee around with a group of local and American youths that were staying there with their folks ahead of attending a big family reunion. Afterward they went for a walk to check out the neighborhood, stopping in at an outdoor bar and restaurant called Spinnaz. 

“Siddung likkle bit, nuh,” called a server mixing up a fruit filled concoction while they were standing back reading the menu board. She gestured at a couple empty seats and they sat down at the bar to finish deciding what to try.

Bottles of Red Stripe beer in hand a few minutes later, they leaned back and watched the other patrons socialize and dance, enjoying the light breeze. A fast tempoed number backed by a drum machine and horns came on and got most of the guests on their feet, hips swinging left, right, backward and forward increasingly fast with the lyrics.

Cent, five cent, ten cent, dollar. 

When it came time for the “big money wine” the crowd went wild shaking and gyrating. 

Stiles was itching to move, but he felt too self-conscious/sober to join in, so he just worked his shoulders in his seat, swaying and tapping his fingers on the counter behind him and his feet on the footrest of the high-backed swivel stool. 

Several tracks later a distinctive cackling marked the beginning of “Feel Good, Inc.” as Derek ordered another round of drinks, this time house made ginger beer with glasses of amber Appleton Estate rum on the side. He was nodding along with the beat when a platter of garlic butter shrimp and lobster with more of those fried cornmeal dumplings, festival,  arrived for them to share.

Afterward they ambled around some more, passing by various shops and vendors. Stiles bought a green shirt shirt that said “Who cyaan ‘ear, muss feel” in white letters with a stylized donkey on it and Derek got a gorgeous mahogany leather wallet engraved on the front with an anchor in the center and ferns and hibiscus flowers around the edges. Lastly, on the way back they stopped where a man was selling cut and peeled pieces of sugar cane on the side of the road. 

“Of course you would buy a cup of straight sugar,” Derek teased as they continued on.

“Hey, it’s bi sugar because I’m eating it,” he replied, taking the stick he’d been chewing on out of his mouth. “And anyway, this is unrefined from a plant. Plants are healthy, I don’t make the rules.” 

Derek snorted and shook his head, but grabbed one of the sticks himself. 

Huh, maybe the werewolf wasn’t as immune to the sun as he thought. He looked a little red.

Back in their room he set the rest on the table for later and then flopped onto his bed, turning on the satellite tv and flipping through channels as Derek sat up on his and found where he left off in his book. They went out again in time to watch the sun start its descent over the ocean. 

A couple colorful boots were now pulled up a ways down the beach and they walked over when a person standing next to one of them called out and appeared to wave at them. There were three men who looked to be in their early 40s, two with close-cropped hair — a short, stocky guy named Joseph and a taller, leaner man called Leslie — and another tall guy, slender with fine, tied back shoulder length braids who introduced himself as Malcolm and asked if he and Derek were interested in buying dinner. They were.

The fishermen had an ancient boombox going and Leslie was tending a makeshift grill as Malcolm scaled a variety of freshly caught fish and handed them to Joseph to clean. Closer up Stiles could see the boats were held in the shallows with anchors that were hunks of metal which looked like wheels with extended spokes. He shuddered at the thought of accidentally running into one of those.

In no time at all the prepared fish were on a piece of wire fencing over the small wood fire, a pot of mysterious contents bubbling on top of stones off to one side as well. Leslie explained that this type of grilled fish was called “bun finga” because digging into it shortly after it was done as people were wont to do would indeed burn your fingers and they laughed. 

Unlike most dishes which were generously seasoned this had only the salt of the sea and the smoke and char from the fire along with the oil of the skin itself for flavor, but that alone was enough to make it taste amazing and he experienced the accuracy of the name himself. Stiles soon noticed that the men were eating something else from the pot for their own meal and inquired about it.

“Mannish Waata soup,” replied Leslie.

“Yuh waan try?” asked Joseph with raised eyebrows. A sucking, kissing sound came from the right. 

“Mi tink him cyaan handle,” Malcolm said with a mischievous grin.

Stiles huffed and grinned back, not one to back down from a challenge.  

“Yeah, I’ll try it.”

Joseph filled up a cup and then offered one to Derek as well with plastic spoons.

“How much do we owe you for these?” the curious werewolf asked, sniffing the contents.

“Nuttin,” answered Malcolm. 

“Dis wan pon wi,” added Leslie watching Stiles with anticipatory amusement.

Cautiously, he blew on a spoonful and then tasted it, his eyes widening. He took a few more bites, trying to discern what type of meat was in it. Definitely not fish or chicken or pork, but he didn’t think it was beef either. The flavors were strong and there were some odd chewy bits, but it was pretty good, the spice making him break out in a sweat. There were chunks of various root vegetables, dumplings, and what turned out to be slices of green banana with the skin on as well. 

Near the bottom he bit into a piece of hot pepper and started coughing, flapping a hand uselessly and trying to wash it down with the rest of the warm broth. Joseph handed him a cold bottle of water from a cooler and he all but ripped it open, gulping down over half the contents in seconds.

“Thanks” he croaked as Derek and the fishermen laughed.

He wasn’t the only one feeling the burn though because after finishing his portion the werewolf stripped off his shirt and dashed into the water to cool down. Stiles was content to stay on the beach with another bottle of water, enjoying listening to the men razzing each other as they started gathering up their things and also the music coming from the crackling radio. As Derek stood up and started walking out of the waves a woman’s voice sang “Laaawwwd, ‘av is mercy!” and Stiles had to agree because goddamn. 

Realizing his eyes were lingering on the Alpha’s swoon worthy form he quickly looked away and started getting their leftovers and towels together. They said goodbye to Leslie, Joseph, and Malcolm and walked back toward the guest house looking around at the red haze now making the whole sky seem to glow. Stiles suggested a detour around the property before returning to their little studio to check out some of the other buildings. They passed by a shaded lounge area with hammocks that he made a mental note to revisit another time.

Over a dozen people were in the dining room when they peeked inside, background music flowing from the speakers on stands on either side.

I’m trying to change the rules, you deserve something good in your life. We’ve waited for far too long, so come get your blessing tonight, baby.

They strolled through a tropical garden with a little bridge over a koi pond and then circled back around toward the rooms and apartments. 

Still feeling peckish they set upon their leftovers after a short blast in the microwave and washed it down with glass bottles of pineapple soda from the mini fridge. He watched Derek demolish his portion making little growly noises that managed to be adorable while also seriously turning him on.  

Stiles tried to put the kibosh on that train of thought and turned his attention back to his own food, pulling apart the savory morsels and licking his fingers clean. When he glanced up again Derek was staring at him, his eyes glowing red. Stiles swallowed and the wolf’s gaze dropped to his throat and then up again when he deliberately brought his fingers back to his mouth, maintaining eye contact. The moment stretched and grew taut. 

Feeling brave he tipped his head up and bared his throat in invitation and Derek sprang up from the other bed and stalked over. A hand burrowed into his hair as the werewolf leaned down to claim his mouth, the kiss flavored salty and sweet. It took a long time to get here, but now that the dam had broken the desire thrumming between them felt unstoppable.

When they broke apart, Stiles knew exactly what he wanted and just needed a few moments to work up the courage. It was time to grab the bull by its horns, or rather the wolf by the hips. 

With his fingers gripping the waistbands of Derek’s trunks he looked up for permission. At the sharp nod of his head Stiles tugged them down and was met with the Alpha’s swiftly rising and hardening cock. 

He’d seen Derek naked before, but this was the first time seeing him with an erection and it was both tantalizing and intimidating. A chuckle snapped him out of his mesmerized state and he grasped the thick shaft after spitting in his palm. Stiles kissed the head, licking over the slit, and then drew him into his mouth. He worked his hand at the base while he bobbed and sucked, lips straining around the hard member as Derek caressed his head and alternated between murmured words of filth and praise.

He did his best to swallow when the Alpha came, spurting copious amounts of cum onto his tongue and then pulling out to mark his face and throat as well. It was hotter than it had any right to be, even better than he’d imagined, and he felt proud to have brought the not-so-unattainable-after-all wolf off. Derek grasped Stiles by the chin and swiped his thumb across a messy cheek, sliding the coated digit past friction plumped lips for him to suck. 

“So perfect for me,” he growled. Stiles went to touch himself, but the now sharp-fanged werewolf caught his hand. “Let me.” 

At Derek’s urging, Stiles crawled backwards further up the bed and then turned over onto his stomach, all but vibrating with want. His shorts were pulled off and he felt those strong, warm hands on him again, this time palming his ass and then spreading him open for the Alpha’s viewing pleasure. 

Blushing, he looked over his shoulder to see Derek breathing heavily and staring red eyed like he couldn’t wait to devour him.

“Please…anything,” he whispered. The next thing he knew a tongue was licking over and pressing against his hole and he gripped the comforter below him, crying out . Soon he was rubbing himself on the bed and then pushing back wantonly, eliciting a pleased rumble from the wolf.

Stiles whined when Derek pulled away a minute later, but then he was being flipped onto his back, the complementary bottle of cocoa butter lotion tossed down beside him. Crawling onto the bed and taking hold of his cock, Derek mouthed at the tip before sinking down on him, tonguing the underside of his shaft on the upstroke. In between his own babbling moans Stiles heard a cap being flicked open and then cool, viscous liquid was being squeezed onto his thigh.

Derek ran his hand through the fragrant dollop and then a slippery finger began teasing his entrance. Slowly, it pressed in and starting pumping to target his prostate, joined by a second one once he relaxed at the intrusion. He’d done it himself occasionally, but it was definitely better when it was someone else, holy fuck. The twin pleasures of hand and mouth reduced him to a mewling mess and he orgasmed faster than he would’ve liked gasping Derek’s name. 

The wolf had no complaints though it seemed, cleaning his sensitive cock and then nuzzling into his belly and trailing kisses down his inner thighs. Stiles made grabby hands at him, but Derek evaded them, skipping away with a laugh. He returned a couple minutes later with warm, damp cloths and gently wiped over his face and between his legs before climbing beside him and pulling him close.

Of course Stiles couldn’t stay quiet for long.

“Sooo…that just happened.” 

The expression on Derek’s face said “No shit, Sherlock,” his eyebrows raised and scrunched together. Stiles fidgeted and looked back at him again. 

“And, um, it’s a thing we do now?” he asked hopefully.

“Mmm…yes,” Derek replied, reaching down to pinch his ass with a smirk. He did not squeak, dammit!

“Cool.” Looking away and taking a long, slow breath he attempted to quell his internal flailing. Act normal! “So, just for funsies or—“ 

“No.” 

Stiles found himself being thoroughly kissed and then manhandled until he was facing away from the Alpha, but wrapped firmly in his embrace. He’d been little spoon’d! 

Before he could lodge a formal complaint with Boyfriend Services (omg, were they boyfriends?!) a hand covered his opening mouth. 

“Go to sleep,” Derek ordered. Stiles stubbornly dropped his jaw and caught his pinky finger, sucking it and rubbing back against the other man’s crotch. A low rumbling vibrated against his back and the arms around him tightened. Warm breath tickled his ear lobe before it was nipped. “The sooner we sleep, the sooner I’ll wake up and fuck you,” Derek promised huskily. 

Stiles made a frankly ridiculous high-pitched sound. He would be more embarrassed, but apparently Derek liked his weird noises if the way the werewolf was now doing a convincing lamprey impression on his neck was any sign, so that was okay. He closed his eyes and focused on the thrilling sensation, sighing when Derek released his tender skin. 

Everything was okay. Way better than okay. 

Irie.

[dominickeating-source]

TV ZONE ISSUE 132 - PAGE 48

Dominic Keating & Kira Clavell - Devilish Duo Evil has never looked so good or been this bad

Night has fallen on the city of Vancouver, British Columbia. Its docklands, normally quiet at this time, are a-buzz with activity. The cast and crew of the new Action/Fantasy television series The Immortal are settling in for a long night shoot. The sound of a car engine gets closer and a sleek, deep purple Prowler stops in front of one of the trailers. The driver, actress Kira Clavell, and a crew member exit the vehicle. Dominic Keating sticks his head out of the open trailer and playfully shakes a finger at his co-star. "Ah, ha, where have you been? We've been waiting for you," he teases. Clavell smiles, "I'm so sorry. They asked me if I wanted to test-drive the car. I couldn't say no." He laughs and says, "She just loves playing with the props. "Keating lights a cigarette and joins Clavell on the sofa inside the trailer. Both actors are wearing suitably evil black garb in preparation for their scenes later that night. On The Immortal they play a pair of centuries-old demons named Mallos (Keating) and Vashista (Clavell). Their characters are being chased through Tim by The Immortal. Raphael Cain (series leading man Lorenzo Lamas), and his young sidekick Goodwin (Steve Braun). Long ago the two evil doers wronged Cain and he is out for revenge.

Wear Well

"Mallos and Vashista are very old but they look pretty food for their age," jokes Keating. "The two began their evil escapades in ancient Japan during the 1600s. They came from the Earth's core or the Devil's conveyor belt if you will. There's this amazing scene in the pilot where the two demons and their horses are spat forth from the ground and are covered in molten lava." His co-star interjects, "That particular scene was so cool. We got to ride these great big beautiful black horses. The costumes we wore were absolutely fantastic, too. It's such a treat to have a detailed wardrobe like that because it helps get you into the mood of the times." Keating chuckles, "Yes, the costume department did do a wonderful job. However, that day I was more concerned with the fact that it would be my first time riding a horse. I did OK and was quite pleased with my saddle ability. I didn't fall off, I hit my mark and I remembered my lines." "Anyway, getting back to doing evil. Mallos and Vashista first cross paths with Raphael Cain when they kill his wife and kidnap his child. I assume they still have her in some kind of demon nursery, although she'd be fairly old by now. It's through their acts of violence that Raphael becomes The Immortal. The show flits back and forth between modern and ancient times to allow the viewers to witness this transformation. So his quest is to find his daughter and, along the way, fight evil and slay demons." "Mallos and Vashista have been at this little cat and mouse game for 400 years," continues the actor. "When you next see the two demons it's in the present. They're dressed in modern day clothes, all black, of course, carrying their cell phones and cruising the streets in their Prowler. They look like a pair of so-called 'beautiful people' from Beverly Hills or Hollywood."

Passions

According to the actors, their characters share more than just a passion for evil. "Apparently, the writers modeled the relationship between Mallos and Vashista on a real-life celebrity pair." says Keating. "So they're lovers, I guess, but there's something about their attraction to each other that's just not right, so you know what I mean?" Clavell adds, "I think they have a very volatile and unpredictable relationship. Yes, they share a strong chemistry, but you're not sure if this will cause them to make love of try to kill each other. Let's just say that it certainly keeps work interesting for me and Dominic," she laughs. Both actors had a great deal of stage, film and tv experience prior to being cast on The Immortal. London-born Keating made his professional debut on stage in 1987 at Man in the Moon theater in Chealsea. This was followed by more stage appearances in London as well as Edinburgh and Dublin. He has guest-starred on British tv series Inspector Morse and The Bill and was a series regular on Teenage Health Freak and Desmond's. Since coming across the pond, Keating has worked on a number of movies including most recently The Hollywood Sign starring Tom Berenger, Burt Reynolds,, and Rod Steiger. On tv he has had roles on GysE, Poltergeist: The Legacy and Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The actor was slated to play the part of Goodwin on The Immortal but things changed before his audition. "They decided to age it [the series] down to appeal to a younger, broader-based audience. So Steve was brought in for Goodwin and it became clear that I could play one of the two lead demons. Malice, who then became Mallie and now Mallos. I read once for Michael Grais [executive producer] and, luckily, I nailed it. I was asked back to meet Lorenzo and the rest of the production team, we talked about golf and they offered me the job."

Tough-Gal

The actor's beautiful co-star Clavell planned to major in political science and psychology at university before the acting bug bit her. "I knew if I didn't try it [acting] I would regret it, so I did," she says happily. Lately, the actress has been cast in "tough-gal" parts, which has been ideal training for her role of Vashista on The Immortal. "I played a terrorist on an episode of La Femme Nikita and got to fire an M25 and another really neat gun. I don't know, perhaps I was an assassin in a previous life." laughs Clavell. Keating nudges her playfully in the arm and smiles, "To look at her you'd think butter would melt in that mouth." Clavell elbows him back, "When it came to my first audition for Vashista, I did it on tape. The moment I read the character breakdown I knew I'd have fun playing her. I did two five-minute takes and sent the tape to the show's producers. Naturally, I was thrilled when I received a call-back. I was flown out to Vancouver to do a live audition for a roomful of people including Michael Grais and David Straiton, who directed The Immortal pilot." "I wore this Vashista-like cat suit and after my audition I went into the ladies' room to change," recalls the actress. "When I cane out everyone was gone. I thought, 'Oh, I guess they didn't like me'. I went to see my agent and, much to my surprise, was told that the producers had called and the role was mine! So here I am!"

Anti-Demon Ally

In the two-hour pilot episode 'Demons of the Night', Cain and Goodwin gain an ally, Dr. Sara Beckman (April Telek), when they save her from two demons. Cain is hurt and they go to Sara's apartment where he can rest and heal himself. The Immortal does not know that his arch-enemies, Mallos and Vashista, are close by and are planning to deal him and his friends a deadly blow - Keating and Clavell start laughing when they recall their first day working together. "Ah, yes, this is when we shot my two favorite scenes in the pilot," grins Keating. "I'd been late for the read-through on the previous Friday. Not the best way to begin but I eventually got there. Kira and I then met over the weekend for dinner and at least got to know each other a bit. On Monday morning we arrived downtown at the location shoot on Vancouver Street. It was 7:15 and freezing cold. In the first scene, our two characters blow up Sara's apartment. Mallos aims his demon finger at the apartment window and Vashista starts getting all hot and bothered. Before you know it, the have their arms and legs wrapped around each other," laughs the actor. "Boy, these two really get off doing evil stuff!" "The next scene we filmed was in a restaurant. Mallos and Vashista are feeding each other raw fish while discussing someone else's demise. Suddenly, she gets all excited and climbs up on the table. Before you know it, the sushi is on the floor along with the champagne and everything else on the table." Clavell looks at Keating and says, "She seems to be a very excitable character, don't you think?" The actor nods in agreement and continues, "The funny thing was the director said to us, 'That's great That was amazing! That was electric! It was terrific! Do you think you could tone it down a bit, though? We don't know yet what time of the day or night this show is going to air.' So we made things more G-rated." Originally, Mallos and Vashista were to appear in only the first couple of episodes. However, the writers decided to bring the evil twosome back periodically throughout the first season. This was good news for Clavell and Keating, who are looking forward to doing as much as possible with their characters. "When I first started acting I'd always be cast as the best friend or the girl next door. With Vashista and, as I said earlier, some of my other recent roles, I've gone from being really good to being really bad and I love it!" Keating is equally as pleased to be working on the series. "As an actor, sometimes it gets boring waiting around while the next shot is being set up. It's at times like that when I say to myself, 'Hey, I'm getting to create a dream world that doesn't exist and that entertains people. How lucky am I?' Trust me, that puts things right in perspective."

[iceicewifey]

✨💗 JJLNSSS ⸺ 01.) Have your SI / OC introduce themselves.

Shayleigh Disa Malmsteen

“Whad’ya mean ‘introduce myself’? If ya know me, ya know me. If ya don’t, it’s stayin’ like that. Now get outta my way! If I don’t fetch what Enya sent me for soon I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Hailing from Miami, Shay is one of a set of identical twin girls born to a Swedish motorcycle mechanic, which is where she gained her fondness for them. She’s since estranged from her father, being kicked out at seventeen and turning to a life of crime in an outlaw motorcycle gang to keep herself afloat. She is twenty three during the events of Stardust Crusaders. Finding herself in Cairo after fleeing the USA to escape possible gang retaliation after an “accidental” murder, she acts as a ‘gofer’ or errand girl of sorts for DIO and Enya. She’s most often sent around the city for various reasons, but sometimes also for tasks that would require great stealth (i.e. retrieving the Anubis sword from a museum).

Quiet Riot

Gained after being shot with a stand arrow, Quiet Riot is a fairly powerful short range stand. It’s main ability is to completely silence all noises from any person or object, with two ‘intensities’ — it can either mute within a 10 meter radius of itself, or focus all of its energy into one foe for a maximum of 100 meters. Its limited in that it cannot mute anything that is physically untouchable or dangerous for shay to be near (i.e. thunderstorms or explosion blast waves).

Richelle Angelique Sambora

“Bon soir. I’ve been instructed to aid in your demise.”

Born in Ottawa and later raised in Orange county, Richelle is the only child of a California native and a mother from Gatineau. Her parents split while she was still a baby, but remained under one roof to raise Richelle during her formative years. After her mother remarried a much older and much richer man, she and Richelle relocated to Beverly Hills which kickstarted a very turbulent period in her life. Between being in a new place with no friends and being “forced” into show business (by forced I mean politely declining her stepfather’s offer only to be berated by her mother for turning down “an offer that many girls would kill for”), it all led to a mental break in late 1988 when she was only nineteen. Her stepfather suggested she throw a dart at a map and go for a little vacation wherever it landed… You guessed it, Egypt. She wasn’t in Cairo long before encountering DIO, running into him just after sunset one night. She remembers being afraid, and then eerily calm, before suffering an ‘inexplicable’ gap in her memory.

Satet

Satet was also awoken by a stand arrow and is named after an Egyptian goddess of hunting. It was named by Enya as Richelle refused to name it. Satet is not a stand suitable for combat. It’s main ability is a tracker type stand, used to pinpoint the precise location of the Joestar party via small objects carefully planted on their persons. This information was be relayed to the other agents for them to formulate their assaults.

[sapphicsandscience]

Aster - Alternative (original)

Not sure if anyone here is reading Aster but before it turned into the long fic it is now I originally had a far shorter (and sadder) outline - sending JL and Bev of a journey of healing and rediscovery.

I didn’t end up going with it for a few reasons but had a few bits already written before I changed the direction of the fic.

So this is a little part of what I had written. Might one day expand this into a longer one-shot. But thought I should get it out of my drafts at least.

Content warnings in tags.

~~~~~

He found her on a hill. 

Jean-Luc paused short of her. “Beverly…” he called out. 

It was a hill that Jean-Luc knew well. It was only a short stroll from the house but far enough so it felt as if you had escaped - tucked away behind one of the vineyards - and in the direction of the setting sun. This was where his path had led him. His steps had brought him to Beverly as she stood on the hill, facing out, a glowing silhouette in the remaining daylight as dusk blanketed them both. 

Eventually, he stepped forward and toward her. His voice was quiet and unassuming so as to not startle her. Though he suspected that she, as he would, had already felt his presence. “Are you - “ 

It was a silly question and he managed to hold the words in his mouth despite their bitter taste at this time. He would hold the bitterness and its pain forever if it would help her. However, it didn’t work like that. 

Grief never did. 

Of course, she was not alright. None of them were alright. Because he had seen this image before. Beverly standing in the view of an orange and pink blush that had lit up the sky. Though this time something was missing. It was hard to believe there has only been two months between that memory and this present - and in that time - that a life had come into existence and then left them behind. 

Someone was missing. So small yet so felt.

Beverly’s shoulders dropped as he moved closer to her. “I was just thinking,” she said softly, gazing into the landscape ahead of them. “Taking in the view,” she turned to him with a gentle smile, though the light bounced around in her wet eyes as she looked at him. 

He smiled back. “Penny?”

Beverly rested her head on his shoulder as she looked back out. “It is one of my favorite things - watching the stars while there is still light,” she uttered quietly. It was peaceful around them, nature was in balance, and there was no need to raise a voice. “Something is different about them in the dusk…the way they glimmer and move. And I know we have long reached them…but from down here they feel -”

“Untouchable,” he finished her sentence. “However, not in a way that is unpleasant. In a way that is -”

“Everlasting,” she said. “At least - in this perspective. As we stand here now.”

Jean-Luc nodded, wearing a small hole in the gravel with one of his feet as he stood. “You know, often as a child, I came to this very spot, at a similar time of day, and looked up at those very stars…”

“You looked for your mother,” she replied, a wind passing over them both as she spoke. Beverly wrapped her cardigan around her midsection tighter. “You told me the last time that I stood here,” the same gentle smile fell upon her lips - a sadness interlaced with the acceptance. 

That they would smile again. Despite everything.

His throat tightened. “Yes.”

“And now. You can see them both.”

Jean-Luc tightened his arm around her, bringing her in as close as possible to his own body. As he had done so in those early hours. Tried to protect her against was what not going to be. Held her as she cried for a future they had both grown into and as she struggled to tell him just what was happening. They were hours that were now burnt into his mind. Hours that - beyond the science that grounded them both in their lives and careers - still brought him here now. 

He looked up. And she followed his lead. 

Aster.

A star. Among the many.

He felt Beverly swallow, her arms coming to cross around her chest. “It was something special,” she began to speak again. To him and the stars between them. This was for no one else. But their family. Something sacred. She exhaled shakily. “Our baby was special. Jean-Luc, I do not know if we could ever replicate that again. Or if I want to.”

He understood. 

“This baby…our baby…did so much for us without taking his first breath. He taught me about myself and he would have taught me so much more. He brought us closer and gave me a glimpse of a future I had never imagined would be within my grasp. And for those weeks, it was, and I will treasure them forever. And I know that now, with him up there, I have all that I need to complete me, Beverly. As long as I am with you.”

[brunhielda]

Because this has become THAT account:

I am 33 years old and just watched “Beverly Hills Cop” for the first time- I think it broke my brain.

Ok- so I watched Beverly Hills Cop II, and missed some of the beginning. I watched because my dad had it on while I was grabbing dinner, and I got pulled in.

1) How did I not know that was the theme to Beverly Hills Cop? I have heard that all over the internet since its infancy and had no clue. It just goes to show what I always say- a good piece of music will outlive the movie it was written for, and many iconic favorites are made for films.

2) Oof. This movie could NOT be made today. That is an officer of the law consistently breaking the law and skirting morality. The sexism ain’t great either.

That said- he never broke laws to physically hurt people. In fact, the film continually compared his method of talking his way in and out of things with the “bad guys” who shot up rooms full of people when they already had cover stories and could have been in and out with few to no questions asked.

No one put hands on women. They gawked at them, made a few rude comments. Our hero did have a creepy pick up line about shaving long legs. But for the 80s, I recognize that no one put hands on women- not even the bad guys. The heroes also had a female helper who was never sexualized at all and had crucial info. So… you get a “less creepy than you could be” pass 🤷🏻‍♀️

All that said, I really do understand the appeal. I got sucked in after all. Which brings me to 3 & 4.

3) This is going to make the male fans of this movie mad and the female fans giggle.

That was an R rated little boy adventure story along the lines of Goonies. As someone who regularly tries to convince people to enjoy more children’s literature, I am not complaining. I am saying they snuck it in there really well.

The humor was all stuff you would expect a 12-13 yr old to crack, including the sex jokes.

One of the most fun parts of the film was the somewhat quiet nerdy one slowly become more weapon obsessed and getting gleeful over pistols and rocket launchers. The punchline being is the correct personality types to actually read the instructions to be able to USE the rocket launcher when they needed it.

Which brings me to the biggest point here- our main trio is the exact personality profile one would expect in a “kids on bikes” storyline. Which is highlighted in their middle of the night raid on the shooting range. Our main hero- the “cool” one with all the best plans and sneaky skills, in a sports jacket and tennis shoes. Our excited “nerdy” one who just wants to be involved in the “cool guy’s” shenanigans is in a grey hoody. And then, the sarge- the character with money and reputation to lose but has been dragged along for moral reasons, dressed up in a sports coat and snappy polo like the rich kid dressed by his mom. I will add this is the character who is a little tubby and keeps pointing out that they are all going to be “in so much trouble.”

Like- remove the authority as cops and age them down to 13 and it would be the same movie. In the 80s, they would even have let them have guns by the end of film.

Then Murphy sells it with his absolute child like joy at getting away with all this crap.

This film revels in all the little boy dreams of solving the mystery, blowing shit up, getting to see pretty girls, and saving the day. Good for them.

4) Eddie Murphy is playing Bugs Bunny as a Cop.

This is the part that broke my brain.

I’m good with the chaotic “talk your ways past everyone” shenanigans. It was well done, and what sucked me in. Even while acknowledging how problematic it is, you cheer for him. You can’t help it. He has charm.

The fact that he pulled it off without any costume changes was impressive. I would have expected coat changed and fake mustaches. Nope. Just chatter.

It’s the cop part that is messing with me.

The type of character he is playing here is the “chaotic hero.” This is the sort of hero that comes along to break unjust systems and reorder everything by being so out of left field no one can predict them.

This is Robinhood. This is Vishnu. This is Scarlet Pimpernel. This is Zorro.

The pattern here is- these guys are from the position of power, use or reject it in some way, then destroy things as your everyday man or straight up criminal.

If you are talking even more chaotic, we come across Ananzi, Loki, Coyote, and Bugs Bunny. These guys aren’t always good. They are chaotic neutral who occasionally find themselves being heroes in a specific situation- not to do the right thing, but because it is fun to mess with the blow hard bad guy.

Now we come to Axel.

He is conning his friends into dangerous situations, steamrolling his boss at taxpayer expense, and laughing at other’s justified fears. He breaks the law consistently. Is he a bad guy? He backs up his friend who needs help, never takes anything to keep, and seems to make sure to pay back everyone who has been inconvenienced with political praise, favors they really like, or straight up cash. Is he the good guy?

He is NOT Robinhood or Zorro. There is no moral mission. He also does not come from a place of power that he leaves behind. He pulled himself out of a place of poverty to gain the power he needed to pull off this nonsense with impunity.

He is neutral chaos with a streak of loyalty, well wishes, and simplistic gleeful fun. He is, in fact, a cartoon.

In our minds that does not fit in with the authority of the police force. Neither does he.

He flashes his badge around, but often not to be a “cop” but to be “health inspector” or “building manager” or whatever else he needs at the moment.

He is consistently at odds with the chief of police and if he thinks you are terrible at your job he will ruin you, slowly and painfully. The chief in this film dug his own grave one step at a time and you wonder “did he plan it? Was it improved? What just happened?”

Now that I type this out, the closest character I have to this is Jack Sparrow. Again, but necessity of personality, Sparrow is a PIRATE.

The best thing you can say about Axel being a cop is that he seems to be slowly cleaning it out from the inside. The reverse Robinhood- he went up to the power structure to show them a thing or two about how it ought to be done. 😂

They make a point of all the cops who work with him slowly becoming more like him and becoming better at thier jobs, happier in thier lives, and generally better off for having met him. I suppose he works, even in this system of power, because he never FEELS like he is a part of it. He is a force, sweeping through, and sweeping back out.

He is less a chaotic hero, and more a chaos god. Sparrow was similar until they brought him down to earth in movie 4.

Speaking of which- I got all this from exactly one film. There are like what- 3 of these with another on the way? I cannot be the only person who saw this. Tell me someone somewhere did a full deep dive academic analysis on this character as a “trickster god” type. It was done too well.

Also realizing I started this by saying the film couldn’t be made today, and they are going to try. That will be a train wreck. I must go see it. 😈

[lindszeppelin]

LA girlie here who can speak to the Los Feliz comment about it being not as pap friendly/suburb etc.

LA is huge. There’s more mailing addresses that don’t say LA than there are that have Los Angeles in the addresses, despite that all of them are considered LA. Los Feliz, North Hollywood, Burbank, Encino are all apart of LA but have their own zip codes.

Los Feliz is interesting bc it’s both a fairly nice part of town but not to the level say Beverly Hills is. There’s some gorgeous old Hollywood mansions but there’s also tons of homeless people, older apartments that are nothing special or have fun character, and a mixed bag strip mall etc. Celebrities do live there (I believe Dax Sheppard and Kristen Bell famously live there) but it’s a pretty low key vibe.

And that’s the exact reason I’m writing, bc I’m sure many people don’t care about LA geography and zip codes but wanted to establish that for anyone who was curious 😂 It’s probably an attractive place for some celebrities to live bc it is low key. There’s a fun vibe-y strip that’s the “downtown” part of it, but there’s no Nobu or Ivy or anything like that. It’s NOT a paparazzi haven. So when I kept seeing Kaia doing her damn pap walks with yoga pants and/or green juices, I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes. Home girl/her team/whatever called the paps bc no paps hang out there- trust me I used to be there weekly if not more than that. It’s a quiet yet citified neighborhood with a few restaurants, bars, and shops of different genres but nothing too ritzy . There’s a diner called House of Pies across from a 7/11. It’s not fucking Rodeo drive. It’s beautiful, but it’s just a place with an assortment of people and establishments. Everyone has a story where they’ve seen a celebrity walking around there (I saw Pete Holmes once) but all anecdotes me or my friends have weren’t reported in the tabloids, in photos in magazines, or whatever bc it’s just celebrities living their lives away from paparazzi and that’s very doable in Los Feliz. It was the most absurd thing on earth to see 20 pictures of her outside Jenni’s ice cream as if she’s princess Diana bc that’s not the scene there.

Cannot speak to why Austin moved or Kaia’s thoughts on being there, but LOL to the idea that she just got randomly papped when she there. As if. LMFAO.

Hope this was fun/helpful/useful information.

LA girlie, thank you for commenting and adding in your valuable 2 cents! That was my understanding of Los Feliz, that it's a sort of "antiquated" vibe that has a lot of private residences and its away from the hustle and bustle of the main city y'know. I think that vibe fits Austin so well, which is why he lived there in the first place. And of course I remember as well Kaia calling the paps every damn time she was down in Los Feliz. That is not Austin's vibe at all, in my humble opinion.

This was extremely helpful, it's much appreciated! It's a shame he got papped outside the front door of his new home. This is the problem now that he is more inside the city. I'm sure Kaia is thriving now that he is more central to the action. But he seemed to enjoy living in Los Feliz. It's a quaint type of vibe, it's away from the paps, he can live his life in somewhat secrecy. But not anymore now that he moved. But anyway, thank you yet again for your comments!!

[gender0bender]

IDs: two photos of Beverly Glenn-Copeland, an elderly black transgender man. The first photo shows him looking to the right and smiling serenly. He is wearing an open collar grey shirt and has close cropped grey hair, with a small fuzzy beard on his chin. The colours of the photo have been edited to look abstract and vibrant. The second photograph is of him sat in a yellow swivel chair with his legs crossed, resting his hands on his knee and smiling widely at the camera. He is wearing a dark blue suit with a light blue tie. ED.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/09/21/beverly-glenn-copelands-music-for-a-future-that-never-came

“In the early nineteen-eighties, Beverly Glenn-Copeland was living in a quiet part of Ontario famous for its scenic hills and lakes. He heard about the advent of the personal computer and, owing to a fascination with “Star Trek” and science-fiction futurism, became instantly intrigued. He bought one, even though he had no idea how to use it. Initially, he just walked around with his computer cradled in his arms, hoping that its secrets would reveal themselves.

For the next few years, Glenn-Copeland’s free time was spent shovelling snow, feeding his family, and teaching himself how to use his computer to make music. He later recalled that his creative community consisted of trees, bears, and rabbits—“the natural world, that was my companion.” He slept only a few hours a night, kept awake by the conviction that his computer could help him produce sounds that had never been heard before.

Glenn-Copeland, who is a transgender man, was born Beverly in Philadelphia in 1944. (He goes by Glenn, but he retained his birth name after his transition.) His family was middle class and Quaker, and many of the struggles faced by African-Americans seemed abstract to him as a child. His father would sit at the piano for hours a day playing Bach, Chopin, and Mozart, and Glenn-Copeland began learning the German lieder style of singing. He briefly studied with the opera singer Eleanor Steber. Occasionally, his mother would sing him Negro spirituals.

Glenn-Copeland enrolled at McGill University, in Montreal, in 1961, becoming one of its first Black students. At the time, he identified as female. After he was ostracized for being in an openly lesbian relationship, he dropped out and became a folk musician. In the late sixties and early seventies, he recorded a couple of bluesy folk albums that call to mind Joni Mitchell or Odetta, full of the kind of searching, heartbroken songs that one learns to write by listening to other people’s searching, heartbroken songs. Often, they sound as if Glenn-Copeland were trying to fit his operatic range into a narrow band of sentimentality. “So you run to the mirror in search of a reason / But the ice upon your eyelids only reminds you of the season / I don’t despair / Tomorrow may bring roses,” he sings. At first, his vocals are restrained and quivering. But then he lets loose, soaring above the strummed guitars and forlorn pianos.

By the time Glenn-Copeland began teaching himself how to use a computer, he was working in children’s television, writing songs for “Sesame Street” and performing on a Canadian program called “Mr. Dressup.” He had become immersed in Buddhism and its traditions. The music he was making was spacious and unpredictable, nothing like his work from the seventies. Some songs resembled techno anthems slowed to a crawl; others seemed like furtive experiments in rendering the sound of a trickling stream with a synthesizer. Instead of paeans to a lover, there were odes to higher powers and changing seasons, lyrics about spiritual rebirth and the great outdoors. “Ever New” slowly builds, a series of synth lines layering on one another, until Glenn-Copeland finally begins singing: “Welcome the child / Whose hand I hold / Welcome to you both young and old / We are ever new.” He made two hundred cassette copies of an album called “Keyboard Fantasies.” And then, befitting his life philosophy, Glenn-Copeland moved on to the next thing. More snow.”

[90363462]

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NINE INCH NAILS' 'THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL': 8 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW

Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor, 1994

photograph by Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

text DAN EPSTEIN

March 8, 2019 

On March 8th, 1994, Nine Inch Nails released The Downward Spiral, a landmark not just for Trent Reznor's career, but for hard, electronic-oriented music in general. Featuring harrowing and uncompromising tracks like "Mr. Self Destruct," "March of the Pigs," "Hurt" and "Closer," which managed the difficult feat of being addictively catchy while also being unbearably intense, the densely layered record has sold almost 4 million copies in the U.S. alone, and influenced just about every dark and edgy metal, hardcore and/or electronic act that came after it.

In 1992, NIN's heavily distorted Broken EP had signaled Reznor's move away from the clean and commercial sounds of 1989's Pretty Hate Machine; now, nearly two years later, it was clear that Reznor's artistic vision had evolved even further. "This time I wanted to make an album that went in 10 different directions, but was all united somehow," he told Guitar World in 1994. "I didn't want to box Nine Inch Nails into a corner, where everything would be faster and harder than the last record ... On this record, I was more concerned with mood, texture, restraint and subtlety, rather than getting punched in the face 400 times."

Most of the album was infamously written and recorded at Le Pig, Reznor's home studio at 10050 Cielo Drive in Beverly Hills, the same address where actress Sharon Tate, her unborn child, and four other people were murdered by followers of Charles Manson. Reznor has insisted many times that he had rented the property before learning of its history. "The reason I was there is because it's a cool, nice house on this beautiful green mountainside that overlooks the whole city from the ocean to the downtown," he told Kerrang! in 1994. "It's really quiet and secluded, yet it's also five minutes from the Whisky …"

"If there was any sort of vibe then it was one of quiet, maybe sadness. But the nice thing about the house, which I feel had nothing to do with what happened there, was that I wouldn't leave it for weeks. The house was on its own, gated in, and once I realized I hated L.A., there was never any reason to leave. That perhaps added to the isolation and claustrophobia of the record."

Here are eight things you might not know about the album.

1. The album was significantly influenced by David Bowie

Recorded at a time when much of the rock world was looking back to Seventies punk and heavy rock for inspiration, Trent Reznor used David Bowie's moody and atmospheric 1977 masterpiece Low as a guiding light for The Downward Spiral. "I got into Bowie in the Scary Monsters era, then I picked up Low and instantly fell for it," he told Kerrang! "I related to it on a song-writing level, a mood level, and on a song-structure level … I like working within the framework of accessibility, and songs, of course, but I also like things that are more experimental and instrumental, maybe. You may still be expressing extreme emotions, but instead of loud guitars it's the silence of restraint. When you think it's going to explode and it doesn't, it's over."

2. Most of Trent Reznor’s vocal and guitar parts were recorded spontaneously

Despite Reznor's reputation for perfectionism, and the fact that it took a year and a half to complete The Downward Spiral, most of his own vocal and guitar contributions to the album were recorded in a fairly off-the-cuff manner. "The music just flows out of Trent like no one else I've ever known," longtime NIN engineer and mixer Sean Beavan told Sound on Sound in 2012. "As with any great artist, there's a lot of procrastination, but while he's playing [video] games, his brain is still working and at any moment he could come up with something fantastic."

Beavan recalled that he and the other engineers working on the album always had been on their toes, in case Reznor suddenly felt a creative urge. "You had to make sure that one or two mics were always available for him to sing at any given moment," he said. "You captured the moment with him. It might seem that there wasn't a lot of thought behind what he was doing, yet he'd obviously been thinking about it for a long, long time and he would lay down maybe three tracks of the vocal without ever repeating himself. He'd always ad-lib stuff, and after you picked one of the takes he would never allow you to punch in anything less than an entire verse … To his way of thinking, whereas the rhythm should be perfect, the emotion should come from the voice and the guitar. So those things were largely performed in a single take."

3. “Piggy” may have been about former NIN guitarist Richard Patrick

The fact that The Downward Spiral was recorded at the same house were Sharon Tate and her friends were murdered by followers of Charles Manson led many listeners to believe that the lyrics to several of the album's songs were written in reference to the killings. The word "Pig" had been written in blood on the door of the house by one of the killers, so therefore the song "Piggy" — with its chorus of "Nothing can stop me now" — was widely interpreted as being about a mass murderer and his "family." However, former NIN guitarist Richard Patrick (later of Filter) believes the song was actually about the dissolution of his friendship with Reznor.

"When a guy writes a song called 'Piggy' about you, there's obviously tension or some leftover shit," Patrick, who left NIN in 1993 during the recording of The Downward Spiral, told the Sacramento Bee in 2010. "My nickname was Piggy. He's writing songs about me … you know, I wish it hadn't been so complicated and so weird. I wish it would have been a little more fun. Maybe one of these days we'll talk and it'll be OK, but it doesn't feel like it's a friendship, that's for sure."

4. “Ruiner” was Reznor’s least favorite song on the album

With its slamming industrial beats and glitched-out layers of sound, "Ruiner" is one of The Downward Spiral's most compelling tracks. But Reznor admitted to Guitar World in 1994 that he wasn't satisfied with how it came out. "There's always one song per record where you work and work and work, and it just takes a hell of a long time for the song to come together," he explained. "Then you get into the trap of saying, 'Well, I spent so much time on this, it's gotta be good. I've gotta make it work.' It's usually one part that's fucking the whole thing up. And that's usually the part that you think is really great. You'll hear a million playbacks of the song and say, "Man, that part is so fucking cool. Why is the song not happening?' Then finally someone hits the mute button for that part and the song's good. And you realize, 'Oh fuck, it's that part I love so much.'

"So on this record, 'Ruiner' was the hardest song to write. I still don't know if I got it right. I have such a bad vibe from that song now — from it sucking in so many different ways."

5. Reznor was originally unsure about keeping “Closer”’s most famous line

The infamous howl of "I want to fuck you like an animal!" has made "Closer" a favorite of strippers — and the bane of conservative pundits — for a quarter of a century. So it's kind of surprising to learn that Reznor originally had severe misgivings about including the line in the song. "Trent was actually worried that 'I wanna fuck you like an animal' sounded too trite, even though it was the thing that everyone would relate to," Beavan told Sound on Sound. "He was always so concerned about making 'real art' that he'd wrestle with the people-friendly aspects. Still, he obviously reconciled himself to that line, because we kept it."

6. “Big Man With a Gun” includes an audio sample of live-in-the-studio girl-on-girl sex

The Downward Spiral contains a variety of non-musical samples, including audio snippets from the films Texas Chainsaw Massacre, THX-1138 and Robot Jox. "Big Man With a Gun" also includes a sample that's credited to Tommy Lee, though it had nothing to do with Lee's work with Mötley Crüe.

In Tommyland, his 2004 autobiography, Lee recalled bringing several porn stars (including a woman with a well-earned reputation as a "squirter") to A&M Studios — where Reznor was working at the time — as a "birthday present" for NIN bassist Danny Lohner. "I bring the girls across the hall into the Nine Inch Nails studio," Lee recalled, "lay them out on Trent's grand piano, say, 'Dudes, set up the mikes, get some grapes, roll the tape and have a seat. You're not gonna believe this.' The girls take the grapes and stick them in the squirter's pussy only to suck them out and stick more in."

Said "squirter"'s moans of pleasure were picked up by the studio mics, and subsequently appended to the beginning of "Big Man With a Gun." "They reversed it and fucked with the tone of it," Lee explained. "But if you listen closely you can hear her."

7. Reznor didn’t think the album had any commercial potential

It's not uncommon for recording artists to lose perspective on their work, especially after months and months in the studio. When Reznor finally delivered the completed version of The Downward Spiral to Interscope Records in late 1993, he was happy with the finished product — but also completely convinced that it was entirely devoid of hit potential.

"When I handed the record into Interscope, I recall apologizing to them because I thought it had no commercial, 'single' potential," he told Alternative Press in 2004. "I loved the record, but I felt sorry for them having to try and sell it. As soon as [lnterscope president] Jimmy Iovine heard 'Closer,' he said it was a hit. That's when I knew he was crazy, and it goes to show what I know."

Indeed. Not only did the album reach No. 2 on the Billboard 200 — it was only kept off the top spot by Soundgarden's Superunknown, which had been released the same day — and go on to reach quadruple platinum status in the U.S., but "Closer" became a genuine radio hit (albeit in a censored version) in the U.S., U.K., Canada and Australia.

8. Reznor was initially weirded out by Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt”

Country legend Johnny Cash's Rick Rubin–produced 2002 album American IV: The Man Comes Around featured new interpretations of country classics mixed with some stunning reworkings of contemporary material — the most stunning being Cash's moving cover of "Hurt," which received considerable airplay on both country and alternative radio stations, and earned the Country Music Association's coveted "Single of the Year" award in 2003. Though Reznor gave Rubin his blessing to have Cash cover "Hurt," he recalled to Alternative Press that "the idea sounded a bit gimmicky to me," and that Cash's interpretation of his song initially  "sounded … weird to me."

"That song in particular was straight from my soul, and it felt very strange hearing the highly identifiable voice of Johnny Cash singing it. It was a good version, and I certainly wasn't cringing or anything, but it felt like I was watching my girlfriend fuck somebody else," he said. It wasn't until he saw Mark Romanek's video for Cash's version that everything clicked for him.

"I pop the video in, and ... wow. Tears welling, silence, goose-bumps ... Wow. I just lost my girlfriend, because that song isn't mine anymore. Then it all made sense to me. It really made me think about how powerful music is as a medium and art form. I wrote some words and music in my bedroom as a way of staying sane, about a bleak and desperate place I was in, totally isolated and alone. Some-fucking-how that winds up reinterpreted by a music legend from a radically different era/genre and still retains sincerity and meaning — different, but every bit as pure. Things felt even stranger when he passed away. The song's purpose shifted again. It's incredibly flattering as a writer to have your song chosen by someone who's a great writer and a great artist."

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[diaryofdayet]

May 18 𓇢𓆸 Los Angeles

Stella’s birthday, and my last day in town. The three of us woke up early for a yoga class. Toni decided to walk to the studio while Stella and I stayed behind to walk the dog. This made us four minutes late to class, and we found the studio doors locked when we tried to enter. We sat in the lobby dejected for a few minutes, then decided to go pick up her birthday cake.

The shop didn’t have the cake in stock. 

“I’m having terrible birthday luck,” Stella moaned.

We decided to turn her luck around with croissants at our favorite diner. The waitress at the bar poured us coffee and listened to Stella list the morning’s bad portents. 

“My fiftieth was like that,” the waitress nodded in sympathy, 

Stella dropped me off at the apartment so I could do some work while she and Toni went cake shopping. When they were done we caravaned to the west side. I picked up Dre and we met the others at the tennis courts, where we played happily for an hour. Toni and Dre compared notes about their time in China, and when we finished Toni and Stella agreed to drop him back home so I could run a few more errands. 

I parked by the cliffs and walked through the brush until I had a quiet view of the sea to myself. I scraped my right calf on a palm tree as I took my seat. The scrape stung and bled as I cleared my mind and recited the chant Rosemary had taught us in Hilo. 

E ho mai 

Ka ike mai 

Luna mai e 

Ona meia huna 

no’e’au ona mele e

E ho mai

E ho mai 

E ho mai 

I repeated it three times, sat in silence, and listened to the world singing it back to me. I said my thanks aloud and prayed for protection. 

Then I drove to my old apartment and picked up my mail. Nothing of note. 

I picked up another cake for Stella in Beverly Hills before heading to my storage unit one last time. I entered the facility five minutes before closing, assuming I could exit a few minutes later. But when I tried to drive my car through the gate it wouldn’t open. I’d been locked in after hours. A man with bleached hair appeared out of nowhere. I’d seen him before and suspect he lives in the facility. 

“Do you know what to do in this situation?” I asked. 

“No idea,” he mused, and wandered away. 

Twenty minutes later, I was still trapped in the facility and calling 911. The responder on the other end of the line was patient, if a little amused. But just as he was sending out a team to rescue me, the gate swung open on its own. 

“Oh my god, did you do that??”

“Do what?”

“Open the gate!”

“No, ma’am.” 

It was a little miracle. I thanked him and drove my car to the house of the man whose driveway I was renting for car storage. He was younger and more handsome than I thought he’d be. When he opened his front door the smell of weed poured out from the inside. 

I ordered a car back to Stella’s and started packing while she and Toni got ready for the party. I was the last to shower, but it didn’t matter because the two of them were still in shapewear and curlers when I emerged. I slicked my hair into a bun and put on a black spaghetti strap dress that Stella was reticently letting me borrow. I don’t think she wanted anyone to look as good as her on her special day. But no one did. When she pulled the curlers out of her hair and teased it, she looked like Salma Hayek in her dress. 

We arrived to a surprise. Tim and Greg were waiting in the bar lobby. They’d told no one that they were flying in from Kansas that afternoon. Seeing them nearly drove Stella to tears. I hugged Tim hello and shook Greg’s hand. 

“I’m so excited to meet you! I’ve heard so, so much about you.” 

“Same here,” he smiled shyly under his red beard. For many years, she’d thought he was the love of her life. And now he was here, at the same party she’d invited both her lovers to. Alex was already inside. He’d pushed a few tables together and waited alone for forty-five minutes. Ian arrived a little later in a suit and bought Stella a bottle of fine champagne. This said a lot about each of them. 

I watched them meet for the first time. How much did they know? The two of them poured Stella champagne while she sat in between smiling like the devil himself. I took a picture. 

Conrad leaned in and whispered, “Please send that picture to me.” 

It was a nice party. I giggled and drank with Kinsley, Gino, Alexis, Tim, and many others from Stella and I's shared life. I didn’t feel melancholy until I returned to the apartment alone. I’d planned to get some sleep before my early flight the next morning, but it struck me that I should write Stella a letter. As I wrote about the memories we’d made together over the past three years, I began to weep. I wept all over myself and all over the pages of my letter like a proper drunk. I wept until Toni came home, and for a little while after that. 

When Stella arrived a few hours later, tipsy (mostly from flattery), I asked her to read my letter. Having already stripped to her underwear, turned out the lights, and climbed in bed, she read it softly to herself with a phone flashlight. Then she cried as I had cried, and I held her, naked, until we fell asleep. 

𓇢𓆸

Dayet

[yukigossip]

Whats happened since the funhouse break

~This is basically a what has happened since funhouses hiatus / breakup. if you clicked the COLORED parts its gifs to help explain or confirm the paragraph ~

Fans claimed Adi's break from funhouse was inevitable. Especially for those who claimed to be paying more attention to there favorite pipsqueak.

Some fans say it started with the Positions music video. 'Shes being too exposed' / 'they are exploiting her' they tweeted and typed when the scandalous strip tease scene was seen in the music video. But others argued how could that be? Did they ever watch the buttons music video?

Others blame Edward. Her iconic yet intense relationship with English Born rapper Edward styles. It was an open secret that their relationship was passionate but destructive and fans were quick to blame him especially when things started to go sour.

But what all the fans did agree on was whatever started it - her excessive partying was what was truly harming her. Especially after the two broke up and she very publicly moved out of their shared LA home and purchasing a home in a gated community just off Beverly Hills.

The partying really got worse during the LALAPALOOZA tour funhouse was contracted to participate in. The tour was an insurance nightmare of drugs and booze where nearly everyone participated in in some form.

But Adi was a bit excessive with it. scaring fans when she went live, clearly drunk or his with half of her body out of the window of her hotel room. All while being spammed with comments to come inside and shut the window. She rolled her eyes but wound up dropping her phone 17 floors down and the live went black causing fans to call police to the hotel for a wellness check.

she was fine, drunkenly dancing in the middle of her kitchen. She got a lot of guff for scaring the fans but kept pretty quiet about it until she made a joke on a live about getting a new phone and sorry "she was being such a dumbs about it."

Soon after the tour ended she was caught having an argument with Shawn Mendes at Katya's house party. At the time the two were dating (not exclusively - he was messing with Camila and she was talking to. few other guys). However at the party she caught him with Camila in one of the bedrooms. After coming as Adi's guest to the party.

She got her revenge by making out with Korean/american musician Jay park in the pool where a fight between her and Shawn broke out when he called her a 'whore' for doing it.

A massive fight broke out and this is the instance Camila vs Adi really started, because after that day Shawn made it official with Camila to spite her.

But this is also where her and Jay really started talking and he started to make California his full-time home.

While they weren't officially dating they started recording together. Most notably... Crazy in love & Upgrade U.

While she was performing with Jay, her ex Edward came out with Superman, a song he claimed he wrote thinking about their relationship and it didn't help that both Superman and Crazy in love were nominated for Grammys that year. Or the fact that Jay couldn't attend the Grammys with her due to a family emergency and she took Kylie who was begging to go.

The Grammys was a hard time for her. For the first time, she didn't have a group to support her and of course Edward not only wins for Superman but also preforms it in a medley and brings a date that looks suspiciously like her.

Of course the camera keeps panning to her so she decides to pretend to enjoy the song and she puts up her middle finger to make sure they can't show her on live tv.

And despite her winning the grammy for Crazy in love, shes never been great at speeches plus she knew Edward was purposely being over affectionate with his new girl. She kept tripping over the words of her speech and eventually just holds up her award and says thank you. This becomes a meme.

She debated attending the afterparty hosted by Adele but goes and starts to have a good time, that is until she wanders deeper into the club and sees Edward heavily making out with the new girl. She knew he was doing it to be petty and in fact they make eye contact and its to much for her. With the combo of the embarrassing speech, edwards harsh words in his song and the fact hes openly making out with a random she downs about a bottle of vodka in about 10 minutes.

That night he was pulled over for reckless driving and was forced to preform a sobriety test in front of a group of fans. She surprised the cops when she passed perfectly but was forced to pay a $5000 fine for reckless driving.

Demi speaks out against Adi's drinking and Adi goes in on her during this time enough for her to take a break from instagram and instead throws herself into her relationship with Jay park in hope to distract herself from Edward.

With his help producing and occasionally rapping they make a few more hits. Me & U, SOS & Dangerous Woman she thought about writing one for Ed but to not even think about him she held off.

Her relationship with Jay was a good one, she was happy and they worked together amazingly but paper he ticked her boxes but there was just a lack of something there.

Besides, while he went with her to parties he often commented on her overdoing it given he really only drank. And while she experimented with drugs from time to time he wouldn't attend parties with her.

Continue to part 2

~

[terracotta-retreat]

Discover the Charming Casablanca Farmhouse at Terracotta Retreat

About this Space: A Brand-New Listing for Ultimate Family Fun!

Welcome to the Casablanca Farmhouse at Terracotta Retreat! This brand-new listing is your passport to a unique and enchanting experience. Perfect for family gatherings, this farmhouse offers spacious rooms, exciting amenities, and a touch of classic movie charm.

The Space: A Haven for Fun and Adventure

The Casablanca Farmhouse is situated on 5 acres of picturesque hill country, alongside other vacation homes. The property features an inviting in-ground pool (shared), a private backyard with a fire pit, and a disc golf course for hours of entertainment.

Upon entering the farmhouse, guests are transported back in time with decor inspired by the classic movie, Casablanca. The living space boasts a warm sitting room with a 65" smart TV, open to a modern kitchen equipped with all your cooking needs. A large island with seating sets the stage for delightful family meals.

Each bedroom is masterfully decorated with themes from beloved classic TV shows. The master bedroom, adorned in "I Love Lucy," offers a king bed, sleeper sofa, and a luxurious ensuite bathroom. Other themed rooms include The Three Stooges, Green Acres, Gilligan's Island, and The Beverly Hillbillies, each with unique decor and comfortable sleeping arrangements.

Unforgettable Adventures Await

With a shared pool, disc golf, and a fire pit, there's never a dull moment at Casablanca Farmhouse. Spend your days soaking up the sun by the pool, playing disc golf, or enjoying a cozy evening around the fire pit with popcorn and s'mores. It's a unique and memorable experience that will leave guests smiling.

 

Explore Wimberley and Beyond

Situated just minutes away from Wimberley, guests can explore the charming downtown square, swim at Jacobs Well, or embark on a zip line adventure. Other nearby attractions include Canyon Lake, Gruene with its historic Gruene Hall, and the vibrant city of New Braunfels with its picturesque river and Schlitterbahn Water Park.

Your Comfort and Safety Are Our Top Priorities

We prioritize the health and safety of our guests. Our property boasts cleanliness as its top priority, and we offer a 24-hour guest service contact for emergencies. With a convenient and contactless check-in and out process, guests can arrive and depart at their convenience.

House Rules for a Harmonious Stay

To ensure a peaceful and enjoyable stay for everyone, we kindly ask guests to follow a few simple house rules:

Guest Age: The primary renter must be 25 years or older.

Respectful Guests: Maintain a peaceful atmosphere and be respectful of neighbors.

Quiet Time: Keep noise levels reasonable, especially after 10 pm.

Smoking: Strictly prohibited inside the house and on the premises.

Guest Courtesy: Treat the space with care and respect.

Check-in & Check-out: 4 PM check-in and 11 AM check-out.

Additional Information

Pet-Friendly: We welcome pets with an additional fee. Please contact us for breed restrictions.

Fees: Early check-ins and late check-outs incur additional fees.

Events: Day events may be considered with prior approval. A fee may apply.

Summer Season: During peak season, early check-ins and late check-outs may not be accommodated.

Conclusion

The Casablanca Farmhouse at Terracotta Retreat is more than just a vacation rental; it's an immersive experience that blends classic charm with modern comforts. Book your stay now and embark on a journey filled with laughter, adventure, and cherished memories. Welcome to your home away from home!

[jrdrealtorss]

New House for Sale in Coimbatore: Explore Your Fresh Start!

Buying a new house for sale in Coimbatore is easy when you work with a trustworthy builder like JRD Realtorss. This real estate developer prides itself in its ability to craft high-quality custom villas based on your exact requirements. While it offers fully- or semi-furnished homes, it gives you the freedom to choose your kind of tiles, decor, electrical provisions, paint, and other features to bring your dream home to life.

For those looking to invest in a new house for sale in Coimbatore, JRD Realtorss is an excellent choice. Keep reading to explore their new homes for sale and discover how their properties can offer you a fresh beginning and the lifestyle you've always desired!

Modern designs

If you dream of living in a luxurious home, JRD Realtorss’ contemporary properties won’t disappoint. With their help, you can find a new house for sale in Coimbatore with chic and sophisticated designs—like the villas at JRD Beverly Hills. Choose from Trendy, Tropical, Trailblazer, and Traditional villas that meet your aesthetic requirements and lifestyle.

Amenities that support your lifestyle

JRD Realtorss specialises in luxurious, thoughtfully designed custom homes with sophisticated living spaces that deliver the ambience and aesthetics you want. In developments like  JRD Lush Villas, homes are equipped with designer lights and modular kitchens to enhance both functionality and style. Each residence is also equipped with modern conveniences—including solar water heaters, power backups, video door phones, CCTV, and air conditioning—to ensure a blend of comfort and contemporary living.

What’s in the neighbourhood?

With JRD Realtorss, your new house in Coimbatore will be in a quiet and well-appointed gated neighbourhood. A great example isVilla Gardenia. This humble community is 100% Vaastu and completely custom-made, with tar-topped roads, smart home options, solar street lights, and 24-hour security. JRD Realtorss also efficiently planned each home and all spaces in your property to ensure comfort, with access to Athikadavu water and a landscaped garden.

Get a fresh start in Coimbatore.

Buy a new house for sale in Coimbatore from JRD Realtorss and experience a fresh start in a luxurious and comfortable neighbourhood with all the luxuries to fulfil your dream lifestyle. Visit JRDRealtorss.com today to connect with their team and learn more about their properties.

[jasmineway]

Joel Roubouchon, Las Vegas // 9-1-2023

Well, it is a special occasion.

After a turn of major life events, I recently had the opportunity to experience a fine dining opportunity I had only imagined in the back-pages, which was a chance to experience the arguably best restaurant in Las Vegas and generally flagship location of the titular Chef of the Century in the US. While the Michelin Guide has not covered Las Vegas since 2009 or so, this restaurant had earned 3 while it had, thus, I still grant it the weight of its earned title. With that being said, here is my express take on a dining experience.

Arrival:

I should preface that I did not have the smoothest arrival, as our day had been complicated by flight delays, monsoon storms, airport and road flooding and construction traffic that cut out much of our relaxation and prep time and even cut our pre-dinner show. It is one thing to prepare for a lifetime experience at a relaxed pace; another entirely to have to change in the ladies room to shed your rain-soaked sneakers.

JR LV used to be known to send out a gold-plated stretch limousine to retrieve its guests not staying at the MGM grand; as noted above, my arrival was by foot, given my friend and I were already heavily delayed via a 1.5h+ length Uber ride from just down the strip due to the aforementioned complications. The restaurant's face is gorgeous -- towering rounded windows reminiscent of both Beverly Hills and Harry Potter -- however it is smack dab in the edge of a casino floor, next to the Ka theatre. While we were offered a slot up from our late night reservation last minute, we declined (30m notice was not enough time to get there), however were seated promptly upon arrival 10 minutes prior to our new reservation time.

We were initially seated in a secluded Green Room filled with fake hedges, and daytime outdoor lighting; as someone who had dressed in rich jewel tones to match the famous amethyst dining room, I was grateful that the staff quickly reseated us to join the warmth of the main event. I think the satellite space is perfect for couples or business partners seeking privacy, but personally, the harsh lighting and intense quiet would have significantly compromised the ambiance.

Service:

Overall, spectacular. Aside from the somewhat curt hostess (who remained gracious yet seemed mildly frustrated that we declined the earlier seating yet still arrived ten minutes early, and even more so that our welcoming butler expressed our desire to be moved...) every single person we interacted with did such a stellar job at convincing you that you personally made their evening delightful that for a moment you'd start believing it. Every single staff member treated us with courtesy and grace. No subtle disappointment at our non-drinking; nothing but warm smiles when asking for translations; polite, prompt, and attentive service; an earnest commitment to making all guests feel special. These are the things abstractly promised by fine dining but rarely delivered with the ease given here; a warmth I have not felt at such a caliber since TFL. My needs were rarely unnoticed, nor did I feel studied. My friend may have requested slightly more attention to their water glass.

Ambiance:

Once in the main dining room, perfect. I felt like a doll that had found herself inside a magic jewelry box; rich, lush violets everywhere; warm, maintained velvets; glittering golds and chandeliers without feeling overbearing (note: given my background, my personal barometer of 'exactly enough chandelier' may be more lenient than most). I am rarely one for modern art as a first choice and yet every piece was moving. The main walls hosted one piece with a figure atop concrete; another, bold, gigantic, canvas painted textured black with streaks of gold breaking through the void. Truly, it embodied the dining experience itself, shining through an otherwise dark and pouring day. The best way I can describe it (with humor, as a SoCal native with limited exposure to any such square footage) is 'all the pomp of the formal living room, with all the comfort of the family room.'

Presentation:

As you'll come to see, JR would not earn recognition for abstract plates, which should be recognized. They have classic, bespoke dishes and silverware (and I mean truly silverware) that compliment the meal but allow the food itself to shine. The food appears like food (for the most part) and the artistry is more through flavor and texture than evocative shape, though some dishes would shine just through sheer difficulty of plating alone (let alone the spectacular taste!). There's some dry ice, but overall, you're getting real food, on real plates, with real cutlery, and there are no mind games.

Course 0: Bread Service

We got the Degustation menu, which is the largest tasting menu JR currently offers. Originally they capped at 16, but our dinner featured 11 listed courses and 2 additional carts-courses (Bread Service and Tea) not endorsed but offered. The Mignardise (dessert) cart was listed. I would come to learn that JR loves Carts.

Our first cart was bread service, aka. the moment I transcended earth and entered a heaven in which all varieties from Basil to Saffron to Rosemary Garlic to Puff Pastry and Croissant were wheeled by for our selection. These were served alongside a separate Butter Cart in which what looked like an actual frosted cake of butter (flown in from France daily) sat next to the tastiest olive oil (flown in from Spain, less than daily) before being dolloped generously onto some serving dishes. I selected many, and took many half-eaten bites (only spared due to the 11 dishes) home as a midnight snack. I neglected to catch the butter, but got a photo of only the top of 3 racks of bread.

Course 1: Le Caviar Imperial

"Ossetra caviar served atop of lobster in a crustacean gelée dotted with cauliflower purée"

This is the only spoiler I had before dinner (as it was seeing a video of Executive Chef Christophe de Lille plating this that convinced me to experience JR in the first place) which is a travesty as I did not know of the existence of the JR chocolate souffle (guess I will have to return). It lived up to the hype. The visual presentation was stunning. The caviar, delicious. The gelee took me back to private parties in Russian restaurants with my high school bestie's family, yet this meat Jell-o was the first I've actually enjoyed. The lobster base slightly overpowered the caviar, though, which I feel was a missed opportunity to split them into two bites - with caviar so delicious and flavorful on its own, it felt like the seafood equivalent of serving wagyu with a thick peppercorn rub -- both of these go well together, but why drown a star ingredient? 9/10.

Course 2: La Tomate

"Tomato candies invigorated with gazpacho and lemon virgin olive oil"

I am a picky eater. I do not generally gravitate towards raw tomato. I generally find competing explosions of vegetable flavours overwhelming. And yet, I took delight in this vegetable course. Every single structure, filling and garnish was made of tomato. On the left, a clean slice, candied unto itself and glazed as if a creme brulee of pure flora welcomed the steak knife and fork. On the right, bonbons made of hallowed tomato filled with more tomato and gazpacho and topped with a crisp made of, you guessed it, tomato sat atop tomato puree adored with tomato accompaniments and tomato plant blossoms. And yet, I was not seeing red. Biting into the bonbons felt like mega-sized popping boba jellies; my brain was confused at the textures and flavors but impressed at the execution. 7/10 mainly due to my flavor prejudices.

Course 3: Le Poireaux

Grilled leeks, shaved foie gras, curls of Parmesan and wasabi whipped cream

This dish is 'a salad,' though I guess salad in the most metaphysical way in that there were greens but the star of the show really was the fois gras. You may be familiar with my conflicting feelings on the delicacy, but I can say one thing I was not in doubt of was the masterful execution in what was the greatest fois gras of my life. This course was to goose liver what wagyu is to regular steak. I have no notes. The serving was just right; the flavors, all in harmony. 10/10.

Course 4: La Langoustine

Seared a la plancha, zucchini, turmeric emulsion

Our server described this fish(?) as a hybrid between a prawn and a lobster, but what it was was delicious. I'm not sure the meat was the tastiest thing I've ever had, but the turmeric foam, carved nutty topping (was this zuchinni? it tasted like a nut?), and texture profile made it excellent and delightful if not slightly over-served. This was the first course in which I felt like my utensil options might have been slightly sub-optimal for the dish served, but still, overall delightful. 8/10.

Course 5: Le Homard

Poached Maine lobster, sugar snap peas, creamy polenta, spicy shellfish and ginger jus

Ah, the actual lobster. Also served impressively in yet another foam. I want to recognize the chefs for taking what has become a meme of the fine dining world and actually creating emulsions and foams that push the boundaries of what a soup or au jus could be. The sugar peas were delightful; the ginger notes, excellent. The lobster itself was ever the slightest bit chewy for me, but I am not a fan of lobster on its best day. 6/10 by fine dining standards only in an otherwise great meal.

Course 6: "Le Saumon*"

I am not sure we actually got this dish, as our server mentioned something about the dashi flakes typically served with it as containing an allergen and the words "sea bass" came out with our supposed replacement. My souvenier menu will still cite salmon, so, alas. This dish was delicious, inoffensive, and unmemorable. 8/10.

Course 7: La Canette

Spit-roasted duck with five spices and sour cherries

Ah, the duck. How do I count the ways...? I have had many birds, from chicken to geese to pheasant and quail; and generally find myself least excited to see a duck menu outside of Thai cuisine. That being said, I moseyed right into one of the tastiest single tasting courses of my life. The meat was excellent. It was duck, but it wasn't Duck, as its gamey companions of finer meals past had led me to anticipate. It was duck of the highest order, both Red Meat and Bird in one fell... flutter? The dark cherry compote and bites delivered a surprising yet immediately ah-ha pairing the likes of which I haven't experienced since throwing some pomegranate onto pumpkin pancakes during grad school. This duck joins Providence's wagyu bite as a just-as-surprising pinnacle of tasting menu execution, a true 10/10.

(side note, they did, in fact, give me the right utensils for this one)

Course 8: Le Joue de Boeuf Wagyu

Braised beef cheeks with red miso and eggplant caviar

Listen, I know that they sourced genuine likely Japanese high grade Wagyu beef. I know they painstakingly cooked the beef cheeks to perfection. I admired the root vegetables that seemingly crowned the dish. However, be it a combination of exhaustion from some other slightly excessively generous preceding portions, or my own recollection of certain enemies from The Last of Us, I could not get behind the beef mousse that was served to me for this one.

I just couldn't do it. The texture was that of a cafeteria mashed potato, which is distinctive, as it was served with the actual famous Joel Roubouchon Mashed Potato, a dish that had the consistency of the fluffiest cream-of-wheat and is notably 50:50 potato and butter. I'm not sure if if it was just too much, or it felt like foraging a wooden fungi, or even the bleeding appearance, but I had to leave half behind in anticipation of dessert, and I have no regrets.

I think it suffered from the same thing as the caviar earlier, in which a sublime ingredient was lost in a sea of equally impressive and yet somehow lesser-than-its-parts competing flavor profiles.

Course 9: La Fraise

Harry’s Berries sorbet with basil granita

There is nothing quite like welcoming the fall season with the last bastion of summer confusingly yet amusingly plated atop a bed of dry ice, giving your summertime ice cream finale the conflicted evocation of a Halloween cauldron. This dessert was fine. I was overall impressed with the delightful flavor and texture, and was tickled to see the 'grass' underneath was shaved ice, seemingly also made of both strawberry and basil. I LOVED the candied (possibly freeze-dried?) berry bits underneath. The flowing smoke was a cute touch. I love double-walled glass bowls. But were the textures all they could be? This dish could be improved with a crumble, or a pillowy textured something underneath. 7/10 because the simple yet nearly flawless sorbet had its texture challenged by a less than pleasant bed of ice.

Course 10: Le Papillon

Smooth hazelnut milk chocolate crémeux and praliné ice cream

My friend was obsessed with this one, and I was ambivalent. The cremeux was tasty, yet homogenous; the hazelnut flavor rich, fresh, yet lost in once-again what I felt (in the desserts) was a lack of commitment to texture. The candy lace was made with such perfection it almost felt fake, stamped, and less like the painstaking golden-pearl-dust monstrosity my inner baking enthusiast knows it to be. This was a perfectly serviceable and pretty dessert. But it reminded me too much of neon beta aquariums, and I felt it would have been dramatically enhanced with the offering of tea or coffee before its delivery (this would follow, and I certainly could have asked). 6/10 but I want to give it bonus points for the gorgeously sculpted bonsai tree branch in the edible biosphere. For creativity and visual, much higher.

I will note my own bias for both these desserts that I am usually a fan of the hot / cold contrast, thus love my hot crumbles a la mode and my sorbets with a side of biscuit or cake. Maybe these bites were just too pure for my tasting in that moment (also a side effect of aforementioned slightly too generous portions from the 'savory' categories).

Course 11: Tea, Surprise Birthday 'Cake,' and Chariot de Mignardises

At some point after Papillion we were offered our choice of tea (from a listing of Black, Green, and notably White) via verbal description and soon came delivered a perfect delicate tea steeped exactly right that was almost a Silver Needle in profile but nearly certainly a steeped Jasmine (+/- actual tea). I will say I noticed an herb cart up front that others cited as the source of teas usually snipped and steeped at tableside, and we seemed to be moving through our dinner at a faster pace than most other diners. We don't drink, and while we likely could have asked for longer pauses between courses, I did feel ever so slightly rushed in that tastings were not given room to breathe... as quickly as a plate would be retrieved, another soon replaced it, arriving via silver platter, staged nearby and served meticulously in unison with a team of suited waiters.

Not to say anyone actively rushed us... but, I envied slightly the laid back gossip of the tables surrounding us--our plates came so quick we barely had a chance to speak and enjoy (though we of course, very much, enjoyed!). Just upon leaving and realizing we'd breezed through a meal most describe as taking 3-4 hours in just two and a half, we felt it.

We had a quick kitchen tour in which I gushed over Chef de Lille himself and the pastry team before saying goodbye to one of our many spectacular hosts of the night, Andrew (the expert charge on 'make us feel like he's actually delighted to have us'). After which, upon returning to our table, one of the gigantic silver platters came by bearing a gorgeous gigantic chocolate sculpture next to which was a sparkly decoration and a small and beautifully decorated birthday cake. The cake, they told us, was for me; the sculpture, for show. What we were served was a perfectly tiny bite of said cake (we laughed, yes, The Cake in its entirely would be absurd) made of guava, passionfruit, and the unique choice to replace buttercream with perfectly baked hard crusted meringues.

Finally, the famous Dessert Cart. I did not know of this much before friends told me of social media reels boasting its offerings. We made strategic selections as to not seem too greedy but later would see the diners around us held no such reservations and appropriately piled their platter to their hearts content given that every petit four, eclair, bonbon and cake was made fresh daily and thus, would have gone to waste otherwise. This was one of the most visually striking and undeniably tasty aspects of the meal and I am still sad I did not have the courage to call back and request an addition perusal for the ample room my dessert stomach had managed to conjure. 9/10 only because this stage too felt ever the tiniest bit truncated.

Conclusion:

Joel Roubouchon is an old school, yet not in any way outdated, tenement to classical French fine dining. Each dish is executed with love and care for both the ingredients, the guest, and the art of cooking itself--no envelope-pushing of molecular gastronomy was missed in a mealtime so generously adorned with delicious, perfectly flavored cooking. I would assume today, the reviewers at Michelin may dare to suggest 2* only perhaps due to the current trend in favor of US restaurants posing more difficult questions to its diners, with a greater emphasis on geometry than classic, simple foods made extraordinary, but from me, it's a 3-star, with perfection from nearly every front except for perhaps our pacing. I don't doubt a return visit would shine even brighter, as I now know of the existence of a souffle, and of my own preference for a longer pause between bites. The hospitality, kindness and warmth went a long way to elevate an already spectacular selection of foods. Until next time.