#why can’t i be happy

[endlessmidnights]

I want someone to notice or to tell someone that I’m suffering but I know that can only end badly

[thedemonwhostealsyoursocks]

Depression

I just spent the past half hour crying because of my gender dysphoria, I wish people actually saw me as a boy, I’d rather be the worlds okayest fuck boy than the worlds most genuine and beautiful girl. I’ve also been listening to “it’s quiet in Beverly Hills” by YUNGBLUD on repeat and it helped me feel a little better. But can someone please tell me a joke, or just make me smile a little? I wish I could be happy right now.

edit: I just found out my best friend was working on a puzzle the entire time I was having a breakdown… it’s kind of funny. Also I ended up calling my other friend, and he tried to comfort me for a half hour before I just pretended to be fine hung up then had a complete meltdown.

[musicfag]

i think there’s something wrong with me

[annieroses-rant]

used to

used to guilt and shame

like needles in my veins

am I doomed to be mediocre at everything?

everyone thinks that I'm doing too much

but not trying hard enough

no one knows how hard

I chase the dopamine rush

everyone feeds me the same motifs

enough is enough

I can’t be strong like I used to

can’t not be wrong like I used to

I can’t work like I used to

hell, am I even useful?

if I’m not what I used to be,

will I then lose everything?

do I know the girl I used to be?

who is this new girl that I see?

you call her by my name

but we aren’t the same

cause she’s not what she used to be

she’s worse than geometry

why can’t I just live

up to what everyone thinks of me

just lock me away

leave me with my artistry

the only thing that improved

but you’d only find choreography

I’m the one who makes the days the same

though not how they used to be

so much on my back already

but what else do you want from me?

I’ll take the blame

shackles and chains

though I really need to be free

because that’s who I used to be

so please, please don’t give up on me

I can’t live as who I used to be

but I’m still trying though crying

still going and growing

I’m not sure if I’ll make it anymore

not sure if I can take this anymore

but if I can’t, what am I even here for?

just leave me with my tears

just shut the door

I’ll sit here with my fears and my heart still sore

I’ll look back on these years

when I am hurt and bored

and when no one seems to need me

not like they did before

do you even need who I used to be anymore?

[lolwhosalex]

fuck this.

[detectivefanatic]

have you ever felt so anxious that you make urself sick and I’m not talking abt a small stomachache but actually having a a whole ass fever that you stay home from school but then the stress of having to go back to school makes you more sick so you end up going to the doctor and they say there’s nothing wrong so you have to go back and you’re dreading it to the point you’re throwing up not bc you hate school but bc yk you’re gonna have to make everything up and disappoint everyone I hate my life

anyways asking for a friend bc apparently not everyone goes thru this and I am flabbergasted

[doubletalkingmaeve]

made the mistake of looking through Jason’s wife’s Instagram and now I’m experiencing major depression

[tyrianlynch]

The worst is knowing exactly the kind of book you want to read and not being able to find it anywhere

[foolish-infatuations]

you weren’t the right person at the wrong time, I just liked that you gave me attention and mistook that for attraction </3

[poetrybypuck]

One day you’re happy ‘cause someone told you that you kinda look like little Mike and the other you’re sad because you don’t look like Noah Schnapp 😫😭

[maudlintrash]

I want to apologize to everyone because I watched about five minutes of the race today and it happened to be right as the safety car was coming in and my terrible vibes may have resounded throughout the wider Mercedes organization

[flashbackonyourbehalf]

I’m flying high on downers yet

My head won’t stop spinning round

Thoughts of towed cars, quotas, and frozen locks.

I can see my breath in my apartment -

The heating is broken and

So is my heart still from violence long ago, yet

Another warms my bed,

Limbs intertwined, softly

Snoring in my ear, he’s

Sweet and safe, so

With the oxytocin and cocktail of delicious poisons

Swirling

In my veins, I wonder -

Why can’t I be happy?

[cassandralexxx]

was excited to be seeing my favorite kind of lizard out and about more but I just found out they are also invasive :/

[ghostiebites]

Wow eyeliner looks good on me, sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be deserving of a long-lasting relationship

[imjustasadgirlblog]

you ever get that feeling where you’re so tired of yourself, the way you are, the way you look, the way you feel, the way you are? or are you happy?

[blankv0id]

WAITWAItWAIT

If Fey steal names… could I get a fry to steal my DEADNAME???

I wonder. Because if that’s the case, fey could make a killing of extorting trans people! Why have they not thought of this yet? I just want to be able to rid myself of the accursed title my parents gave me. Please god I’m suffering