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#its so hard to go back from 4 to 3 but its so worth it
oldworldwidgets · 1 year
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ur welcome to make a 115-slide powerpoint presentation titled
fallout 3 is good, actually
for presentation night with ur friends. but watch out
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#christ. so i was selected as the top candidate for the program i interviewed with on Friday#and im very annoyed and very pleased and also annoyed that im pleased#im pleased bc it means that they were impressed with what ive done to this point and they think i communicate well. which is cool#and the project is very very cool and id love to work on it#am annoyed bc this does put pressure on me to accept bc they can only put one student forward so if i dip out then thats it for them#which i find extremely stressful. and everything is just so much more complicated if i go to the uk for a phd#and i dont get the luxury of faffing about and taking a bunch of classes like i could in the us. ugh but it would b so cool to go back to#the uk and i wouldn't have to fucking drive. ugh. this project.#ugh its like my boss said#sometimes the project is more worth it than the school. id have crazy cool opportunities to learn things on this project#but at the cost of taking a lot of classes in the us. but every project is what u make of it#but im so fucking dyslexic thst its hard to learn outside a classroom bc i cant concentrate and i dont have a person talking me thru the#info. so idk idk. hopefully when i visit the other school ill kno how i feel#god but i loved living in the uk. and i could travel so much more freely there bc the trains and all that. im so fucking restricted bc im#so terrified of driving. i dont have good reaction speed and i space out too much and i get intrusive thoughts#sigh... but id be a whole 24hrs of travel away from my family instead of the 10hrs thst i am now#so id probably only get to see them once a year maybe? in contrast to 2 or 3 times#and im just worried something terrible will happen and then ill be like fuck i wasted all my time making myself miserable so far away#idk. im so tired. we had like a mile abd a half hike out to a site one way and we left at 7.30 got back at like 4#it was a long fucking day. and im tried. and i have no filter. and when i talk too much it really annoys me#also! i got confirmation that i fucking suck at recording data. wow im so shocked. its basically designed for me to be terrible at#but its still slightly embarrassing. like srry i fucked up ur data. i cant write words correctly#literally i kept writing my Ls upside down today. why? idk that not how i see them. my brain just cant make Language right lol#whatever. my parents r calling tomorrow and i can info dump at them abt my dyslexia knowledge and my academic knowledge of biblical history#bc instead of listening to anything useful to my job. i choose to listen to lectures on neurology and theology. bc fucking idk#its interesting im relearning my bible lore from a non religious perspective. theology is fucking fascinating. ugh anyway#i shoulf sleep im so fucking tried#unrelated
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oceantornadoo · 7 months
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IDK! HEAR ME OUT THO!!!
Simon, staging the break in and what not so he could push you back into his arms??? INSANE!
Delicious story. Thank you for the food! <3
so originally when i made that last fic (which unexpectedly blew up tysm everyone) i added in the creepy elements almost on accident?? but this and another reply has me thinking...
tw: slight humiliation (but you'll like it)=
simon riley wasn't a bad man. he also wasn't a bad husband. at least that's what he told himself.
when you had presented him with those divorce papers a bit ago (13 months and 4 days, but who was counting), he thought it was a bluff. a joke. he had gone too far in your last argument, and that was your reaction. when he told you he'd go to therapy, you stared at him with a look he'd only see on men in the battlefield. dead all the way through, a walking husk. so he signed them and went to therapy anyways.
the whole time, this whole 13-month break, where you had been 'building a new life' or whatever, he had been planning. internalizing the commentary his therapist would make, and then spitting it back out to you while you moved out of his place. every time you seemed to forget one extra box, and who's to say if he hid a couple in his room? he had a plan.
over time, simon really seemed to have learned so much from therapy. so much about communication. he had become open and welcoming, far from that man who would respond to your complaints with hard stares and a lack of words. so maybe you met for coffee a couple of times and that's how he knew about the cafe by your new place. maybe that's how he tailed you one night after a date, just to make sure this new guy didn't try anything (and not to figure out your unit number). whatever he did, he played a dangerous game by letting you have this illusion of freedom while balancing his presence in your life, just enough to make you want more. after weeks and week of stagnant progress, he needed one extra push. something small, not even a shove.
and if he happened to mention your unit number to a bunch of shady guys that hung out in the alley by your building? happened to brag about your pretty pussy and sweet-smelling panties? maybe mention your habit of not locking the window when you left for work? who's to say. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
and now here you were, back in his arms where you belonged. a little frightened but comforted in the knowledge that he could protect you. the ghost wasn't shed when he took his mask off, but you didn't need to know that.
--
your body was so used to being in simon's arms you didn't even realize you had been grinding on him for the past ten minutes. his boxers you wore were sticky with arousal as you grinded against his clothed cock in the dark. even in your dream, it was simon underneath you, no one else. "si." you panted, a near-whisper that only a military man could have heard. "dove?" he adjusted your sleeping positions, tossing the covers to give you more room to maneuver against him.
"i know i said that thing about the line not being crossed." he gave you a low chuckle. silly little girl. you had finally realized how much you needed him and he was going to milk you for all you were worth. "and?" you stopped. shit. he needed to seem more responsive. he moved you from his thigh to his boner using one arm, the other one snaking its way under your shirt to stroke your back. you moaned as he massaged the tension from the day's earlier events away, giving you sweet relief. the sweetness of the massage made a hard contrast to the friction in your core as he rubbed you against his hardened cock.
"spit it out, baby." he growled. "can you-fuck." his hand had moved to the back of your neck now, holding it in a tight grip. his hand was so large he could feel the pulse points on either side of your jaw, heart racing. finally. "can you get me off? just this once?" he snorted, moving you up and down against him faster, dragging your sensitive clit over and over. "what's the magic word?" he flipped you both around, pressing his body weight on top of you.
simon turned the light on, wanting to see how needy you were. you were panting, shirt sticky with sweat as your chest moved up and down with exertion. he hiked up your shirt and took off your boxers, exposing your sticky cunt to the cool air. he took a sniff of the fabric, noting your small gasp as if you didn't know how obsessed he was with you already. "magic word." your mouth dropped. guess you weren't getting off that easily. "please, simon." he clucked his tongue at that. "ghost?" he left out a short laugh, arms reaching out to tug his shirt off of you. your nipples were so hard, aching to be pinched and sucked just how you liked them. "not ghost." he reached over to his nightstand, pulling something out of the drawer. he fumbled with his hand for a second, then held yours up to the light as he slipped something on it.
"husband." the words left your mouth in a whoosh, eyes transfixed on your wedding ring that was on your hand. the one you had flung at him after he complained about the divorce papers, the one you said you'd rather die than wear again. and here it was, right back on your finger, sparkling in the lamplight.
simon captured your mouth in a rough kiss, entering you with his ring and middle finger at the same time. "so willing for your husband, hm? all puffy and wet. look at your cunt, darling." you both looked down at your pussy at the same time. it was squelching, your vibrator sessions not holding a candle to what your ex husband could do to you. you were almost embarrassed by how desperate your pussy looked, clit enlarged from its earlier friction. his fingers worked in and out of you, wedding ring covered in slick. you watched as he pressed his thumb to your clit in small circles, a tightening sensation in your lower belly rising to the surface. "simon, si-fuck" he gave your pussy a small slap, pulling his fingers out as you addressed him incorrectly. "husband, please." he entered you again roughly, drawing a low moan from you. he captured your nipple in his mouth, teething it just enough to make you hurt. punishment.
"please please please i'm right ther-" he pressed hard against your clit and sent you careening off the edge into your orgasm, back bowing off the bed. simon gave you small love bites as you recovered, hand still working your cunt to draw out your orgasm.
finally, he removed his fingers and drew back from you, forcing eye contact. he put both in his mouth, moaning at the taste of your arousal mixed with the metal from the wedding band. your jaw was still open, looking at him like you had never seen him before. like the sheep's skin had finally been removed, and now only the wolf remained.
"let's get you to bed, wife."
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solarmorrigan · 9 months
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Hands Where I Can See Them, Part 4
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
The only thing Eddie is dreading as much as Steve’s return for his things is Wayne’s inevitable question about where Steve is at all.
After all, Steve has practically been living with them for weeks – something that Eddie may not have allowed himself to consider the significance of, but which Wayne cannot have failed to notice. Though Steve had (apparently) felt the need to do things around the trailer to stay in Wayne’s good graces, he really didn’t have to worry about it; Wayne likes him, and he’ll be asking sooner or later just where Steve has gone.
‘Sooner’ comes two nights after Eddie royally fucks things over. It’s Wayne’s night off, and there’s really no avoiding him; their new trailer is bigger than the last, but it’s still close quarters, and Eddie gets caught when he passes through the living room to get a drink from the kitchen.
“Noticed Steve isn’t here tonight,” Wayne says, blunt as hell, because he doesn’t see the point in doing things any other way.
“Nope,” Eddie says shortly, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it from the tap.
“Wasn’t here last night, either,” Wayne goes on.
“He was not,” Eddie confirms.
“Wasn’t here when I got in yesterday morning,” Wayne says.
“You are a veritable font of observation tonight,” Eddie says, only a little snarky.
Wayne shrugs. “Hard not to notice when he’s here nine days out of ten, then suddenly up and disappears,” he says. He pauses a moment before adding, “Stuff’s gone from the bathroom, too.”
Eddie occupies himself with slowly swallowing down half his glass of water before he answers. “Yeah.”
“Don’t suppose he’s going on a trip,” Wayne doesn’t quite ask, and Eddie lets out a bitter sort of laugh.
“Loving the optimism from you, but no, not… not so much.”
There are a few beats of silence, and then Wayne lets out a slow sigh. Eddie knows him well enough to understand the sound of it – he’s just decided to get involved.
“You two have a fight?”
“Something like that,” Eddie mutters.
“Well that’s vague as hell, son. You have a fight, or didn’t you?” Wayne prods.
Slowly, Eddie shakes his head. “No, I– I don’t think so. I think it was all me,” he says, finally looking up from his glass and meeting Wayne’s questioning gaze. “I fucked up, Wayne.”
There’s no immediate judgement coming from Wayne, no suspicion or scorn, not even a shake of the head and some variation of “Of course you did.” There’s only a measured sort of curiosity in his stare, the same way it’s been since Eddie was a kid and Wayne was trying to figure him out; it’s sort of comforting in its familiarity, in its neutrality.
“You wanna tell me about it?” Wayne asks.
Eddie knows that if he says no, Wayne will let it go. He might keep sending curious and worried looks Eddie’s way, he might ask a few more prodding questions over the next few days, but he won’t make Eddie say anything he doesn’t want to. And Eddie doesn’t really want to – but he thinks that maybe he needs to.
“If… you had to define mine and Steve’s relationship, what would you say?” Eddie asks after a moment.
Wayne cocks an eyebrow at him. “I’d say that feels like a trick question.”
Eddie lets out a little huff of a laugh. “It’s not, I swear. I’m seriously curious,” he says. “There are no wrong answers – go.”
“Well,” Wayne says, still eyeing Eddie consideringly, “I don’t know if you kids put labels on things these days or what, but from the outside, I’d say you’re dating. I’d say that boy is fully in love with you and that you’re at least halfway to loving him back.”
“Right.” Eddie gives a jerky nod. “Seems like that’s what pretty much everyone thinks.”
“But that’s not what’s going on,” Wayne takes a guess.
“Well, that depends on your perspective,” Eddie says, a little high and tight.
“Well, the only perspectives worth a damn here’re yours’n Steve’s,” Wayne shoots back. “So what would those be?”
Eddie drains the last of his water, turning away to put the glass in the sink. “Steve… shares your perspective. Or, uh– he did. But I… I didn’t realize he was so serious. I thought we were just kind of messing around.”
The silence from behind Eddie is so thick that he can’t help but finally turn around and meet Wayne’s gaze again.
“That’s a hell of a blind spot, Ed,” Wayne says simply, and Eddie folds in on himself a bit, crossing his arms over his chest. His main defense has always been to become larger than life – to make big gestures and even bigger speeches, but everything about this situation makes him feel like nothing so much as small.
“Yeah,” he says quietly.
“So, what, you figured out how serious he was and thought you didn’t want that?” Wayne asks, and Eddie hunches a little further in on himself.
“Nope. No, that– would’ve been better, actually. If that’s what happened. But that’s not what happened, because did I mention I fucked up? Because I seriously fucked up.” Eddie’s rambling is stemmed by an expectant look from Wayne. “It’s just – the other night, when the guys were over, we got to talking about it. The whole… me and Steve thing. As in, they thought me and Steve were a thing. And they asked me about it. While Steve was out of the room. And then he, uh. Hm.” Eddie rubs a hand nervously over his chin. “He walked back in when I was in the middle of telling them that he's just a friend and that we’re just having fun. And that’s… when I found out how serious he was.”
“Eddie…”
“I know. I know!” Eddie doesn’t even have to look at Wayne to catch the disappointment coming off of him, so he doesn’t. He scrubs hands over his face and then just leaves him there, telling the rest of the story to his palms. “He was so fucking upset, Wayne, I think– I think I actually made him cry? And the only reason he hasn’t been here to get the rest of his stuff out of the trailer yet is because he was down with a migraine the next day. Like, I hurt him so badly I made him physically ill. So I didn’t just fuck up, but I’m actually a horrible human being and should probably spend the rest of my days living in isolation so I don’t ruin anyone else’s life.”
Wayne is silent for so long that Eddie is eventually forced to peek out from behind his fingers.
“You’re not gonna tell me how bad I fucked up?” Eddie asks, still a bit muffled.
“Seems like you have that covered already,” Wayne says, then he holds up one arm in offer, nodding towards the empty spot beside him on the couch. “C’mere.”
He doesn’t need to ask Eddie twice. No matter how old he gets, Eddie doesn’t think a genuine hug from his uncle will ever stop being comforting, and regardless of whether or not he thinks he actually deserves it right now, he’s going to take it. He crashes down onto the couch and leans heavily into Wayne’s side, sighing as Wayne wraps his arm around his shoulders.
“You’re not a bad person, Ed. You made a mistake, s’all,” Wayne says, and Eddie scoffs.
“Pretty big fucking mistake,” he mutters.
“Yep, that was a doozy. You hurt someone you care about, and you might not be able to fix it all the way. But that doesn’t make you terrible. Makes you human.” Wayne gives Eddie a comforting squeeze. “And Steve ain’t a bad person, either. He’ll know you mean it when you tell him you’re sorry.”
“Yeah,” Eddie says quietly.
“You think about what you’re gonna do when he does show to get the rest of his stuff?” Wayne asks.
“Besides grovel?” Eddie shoots back.
“I mean, what’re you gonna grovel for?”
Eddie lets out a long breath. “I… I know I might not be able to fix it, but I just – I want the chance to try. I’m hoping he’ll just give me that chance.” Eddie pauses for a moment, choked by the dread of the thought that Steve might not give him that chance. “Things don’t have to go back to the way they were, but I at least want him to know that even if I’m shit at showing it, I do care.”
“Sounds like a decent place to start,” Wayne says.
“Think so?” Eddie asks.
“Mm.”
“Well… I hope Steve thinks so, too.”
Wayne gives his shoulders another squeeze and says nothing more, but he doesn’t really have to. He’s already settled Eddie’s nerves more than he’d thought possible; just this is more than enough.
Now Eddie just has to try to hold onto the feeling long enough to talk to Steve.
-
It turns out, Eddie doesn’t have to hold onto the feeling for very long at all; the very next morning—two days after Robin had read Eddie the riot act and left him to begin tentatively planning—another knock comes at the door.
It’s ten in the morning – not as early as Eddie had expected, but early enough that he’s not long out of bed when he opens the door to find Steve on the other side.
In contrast to Eddie’s sweatpants and t-shirt, Steve looks like he’s trying very hard to look like he’s alright. His polo is clean and tucked in, the collar is straight, his hair is as perfectly styled as ever – but there’s still something off. There are dark circles under his eyes, stark against a paler than normal complexion, and none of the ease or contentment that Eddie has grown used to shines from his face. He feels a little like he wants to mourn its absence.
“Hey,” Steve says, nodding in greeting.
“Hey,” Eddie says back, because for all his thoughts and planning, he hadn’t really considered how to start this encounter.
“I came to get my shit out of your way,” Steve says, and Eddie frowns.
It’s not in my way, he wants to say. You’re not in my way. Leave your stuff. Stay.
“Uh. Yeah, sure,” Eddie says instead, stepping aside to let Steve in.
Steve is carrying a cardboard box, but doesn’t seem to have anything or anyone else in tow. For as spread throughout Eddie’s life as Steve has become, he wonders if all of him will fit into that one box.
“Kinda surprised you didn’t bring Buckley to help pack,” Eddie says, glancing back out the screen door, as if Robin might appear out of nowhere.
“Just dropped her off at work,” Steve says. “I figured she probably already had… words for you when she picked up my meds, and I didn’t think any of us needed an encore.”
“I don’t know,” Eddie says quietly. “The stuff she said got me thinking.”
In the process of grabbing a jacket he’d left behind off one of the hooks by the door, Steve only glances back at Eddie. “I’m sure she had a lot to say,” he says, carefully neutral.
“Yeah. She, uh – definitely did. Can we talk?” Eddie asks.
Steve sighs. “Eddie…”
“Just hear me out, please. Then I’ll get out of your way and let you pack in peace, I promise,” Eddie says.
“We don’t– have to talk about it,” Steve says, turning back to face Eddie. “Look, I’m sorry for putting my weird expectations on you. I was reading into stuff that wasn’t there, and I made assumptions instead of just talking to you, and that’s on me. So I’m gonna just – get out of your hair, and you won’t have to deal with my stupid, delusional bullshit anymore.”
“No, that’s not– Steve–” Eddie reaches out for Steve as he tries to brush past on his way to the bedroom, where most of his belongings are. He gets a hand around Steve’s bicep and, though Steve doesn’t jerk away this time, he goes stiff and still beneath Eddie’s touch, prompting Eddie to let go.
It hurts; even though Eddie’s done it to himself, the reaction still hurts. He’s always reached for Steve in the past, always had his hands on him, and Steve had always welcomed him, even before they’d started sleeping together. Now, Eddie takes a step back, forcing himself to give Steve some space.
“That’s not what I want to say at all,” he says. “I mean – I would’ve liked if we’d talked about it, because then I would’ve known, and I could’ve appreciated what it was – what we were doing.”
Steve turns back to face Eddie, his gaze snapping straight to him with equal suspicion and confusion. “What?”
“Steve, you weren’t reading into things that weren’t there, you’re not– you’re not stupid or delusional, I was just – I was sending you mixed signals,” Eddie says. “I was so wrapped up in thinking that I knew what was going on, that I didn’t look at what I really had, and I’m sorry. But if I knew, if I’d just gotten my head out of my ass, you have to believe that in a heartbeat, I would have–”
“Don’t,” Steve cuts in sharply.
“Steve–”
“I don’t need whatever this is, Eddie,” Steve snaps. “You don’t need to have pity on your pathetic ex-whatever I am to you, okay? It’s okay, just– just let it go.”
“This isn’t pity,” Eddie insists with an incredulous little laugh. “It’s fucking not, I swear! This is me saying that I fucked up and I hurt you and I want to make it up to you. I haven’t done anything to deserve it, but I want the chance to show you how sorry I am and how much you mean to me– in whatever capacity you’ll let me.”
“Whatever capacity?” Steve stares at him, brows furrowed.
“Whatever you’ll be comfortable with. As a friend, or… as more, if that bridge hasn’t burned,” Eddie says.
“What, so now I’m relationship material?” Steve asks, pointed.
Eddie winces. “I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have said any of that, and if I could go back in time and slap myself upside the head before I let any of that shit out and hurt you with it, I would. I know that… I know I didn’t pay enough attention to you, but I also wasn’t paying very much attention to how I was feeling,” he says. “Because honestly? I’m kind of a moron, Steve. I’ve never had sex with someone I really liked, with someone who was anything like a friend, and when I started wanting to be around you all the time, and always wanting you within reach, and when every little thing started to remind me of you, I just thought… yeah, this is what friends-with-benefits feels like. Y’know, like a fucking idiot.”
Steve doesn’t laugh. “I don’t know if I can trust you on that,” he says softly, and that’s fair.
It hurts, but it’s fair.
“Then let me earn your trust back. Please, Steve, just… give me the chance,” Eddie implores, doesn’t even care that he’s basically begging – Eddie doesn’t beg, but for Steve, he’ll make an exception. For Steve, he thinks he’ll do just about anything.
Pursing his lips, Steve looks at the floor beside Eddie’s feet for a long moment, and Eddie gives him the time to sort his thoughts out.
“I want to say yes. Part of me just wants to accept your apology and pretend that none of this happened. Just keep going the way we were,” he says. “But I can’t keep doing that – ignoring shit. I just… can’t.”
“I’m not asking you to,” Eddie says. “I don’t want things to be like they were before, I want – I want to be better. I want to do better.”
“How?” Steve asks, both challenging and curious.
“I want to do it right. I want to show you how much I appreciate you, and how much you mean to me. I want to treat you like you deserve to be treated,” Eddie insists. “And if that’s just by being the best friend I can be, then that’s what I’ll do, but I would love—love—if you’d let me romance you.”
That briefly breaks through Steve’s stony façade, and he lets out a huff of a laugh. “Romance me?”
“Shit, yeah. Flowers and chocolates and candle-lit dates – the whole nine yards,” Eddie says with a slow grin. “All the things you’ve given other people but that no one has ever given you.”
“I…” Steve starts, his own humor fading quickly. “I don’t know.”
It’s better than an outright ‘no.’
“That’s okay,” Eddie promises. “You don’t have to know right now. I can wait. I’m a patient kinda guy.”
(That’s an absolute lie, and they both know it, but Eddie will find all the patience in the world if Steve needs time to think.)
Slowly, Steve nods. “I think… Just, give it a couple of weeks, okay? Really think about it, and if this – if I’m something you still want by then, come talk to me again,” he says. “Alright?”
“Yeah.” Eddie nods rapidly. “As much time as you want. I’m not going to up and change my mind. Two weeks, I’ll ask again.”
Steve shrugs, taking a step back towards the bedroom.
“I will,” Eddie promises – not defensive, but certain. He can wait two weeks. He can wait as long as Steve needs him to. Maybe he can take the time to get his shit together.
He does care about Steve. He does pay attention – and he’s going to prove it.
But in the meantime, the only thing Steve has asked for is space, so Eddie gives it to him. He retreats to the kitchen to let Steve pack up in peace, trying hard not to feel bereft at the thought of the gaps Steve will be leaving behind.
If he’s lucky—if he’s very, very lucky—it won’t be forever.
Part 5
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Tag List (drop me a line if you want on or off the ride): @bushbees @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @gleek4twd @hellfireone @westifer-dead @anne-bennett-cosplayer @starman-jpg @mugloversonly @swimmingbirdrunningrock @alycatavatar @y4r3luv @rhapsodyinalto @vinteraltus @lilpomelito @tillystealeaves @noctxrn-e
I did my best to catch everyone, but there were a few people Tumblr wouldn't let me tag. Sorry if I missed you!
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bloomzone · 4 months
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Ⳋ᧙ ⊹Embracing the Art of I don't chase I attract mindset :
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"Best revenge? Smile, be happy and never let them know it hurt."
-goo hara from kara (rest in peace 🕊️)
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The mindset of "I don't chase, I attract" revolves around the principles of self-confidence, self-worth, and the law of attraction. Instead of actively pursuing what we desire, this mindset encourages us to focus on personal growth and positivity, believing that by doing so, we naturally draw in the opportunities and experiences meant for us.
Here are 16 tips to adopt this mindset effectively:
by: 𖧷´ bloomzone 𝅄 ׂׅ
1.Focus on Self-Improvement: Invest in yourself by learning new skills, engaging in activities that fulfill you, and prioritizing your well-being. When you feel good about yourself, you radiate positive energy that attracts like-minded people and opportunities.
2. Set Clear Intentions: Be specific about what you want in life. Whether it's a new job, a meaningful relationship, or personal development, having clear intentions helps you stay focused and aligned with your goals.
3. Practice Positive Affirmations: Reinforce your self-worth and confidence through daily affirmations. Statements like "I am worthy of success" or "I attract positive opportunities" can help shift your mindset and energy (the white swan affirmations)
4.Visualize Your Goals: Spend time each day imagining your goals as if they've already been achieved. This practice helps create a positive mental image and aligns your actions with your desires.
5. Trust the Process: Have faith that what is meant for you will come to you in its own time. Avoid forcing outcomes or chasing after things. Trust that by staying true to yourself and your goals, the right opportunities will present themselves naturally.
6. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Keep positive influences around you, whether it's people, environments, or content. Positivity fosters a high vibrational state that attracts good things into your life.
7. Cultivate Gratitude: Regularly express gratitude for what you already have. This practice helps you focus on the positive aspects of your life and creates an abundance mindset, which attracts more good things to you.
8. Let Go of Fear and Doubt: Work on releasing fears and doubts that hold you back. Fear and doubt create resistance and block the flow of positive energy. Embrace a mindset of faith and trust in the process.
9. Engage in Mindfulness and Meditation: Incorporate mindfulness practices and meditation into your routine. These practices help you stay present, reduce stress, and maintain a positive outlook, making you more receptive to opportunities.
10. Take Inspired Action: While attracting involves less chasing, it doesn't mean being passive. Take actions that feel right and aligned with your goals, but do so from a place of inspiration rather than desperation.
11. Embrace Change and Adaptability: Be open to change and willing to adapt. Sometimes, the path to what you desire requires adjustments and flexibility. Embracing change can lead to unexpected and rewarding opportunities.
12. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, and don't be too hard on yourself when things don't go as planned. Self-compassion fosters a positive and resilient mindset.
13. Seek Joy and Fun: Engage in activities that bring you joy and make you feel alive. Joyful experiences raise your vibrational energy and attract more positive situations and people into your life.
14. Learn to Listen to Your Intuition: Trust your inner voice and gut feelings. Your intuition can guide you toward opportunities that align with your true self and help you avoid situations that aren't right for you.
15. Develop a Growth Mindset: Embrace challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. A growth mindset helps you stay resilient and open to new possibilities, making it easier to attract what you desire.
16. Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Celebrating progress keeps you motivated and reinforces the positive mindset needed to attract more success.
ıllı ⠀ : This mindset encourages u to trust in ur abilities . Remember that each step taken with mindfulness and resilience brings us closer to ur dreams.❛ ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!
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whimsickool · 21 days
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RATING THE ENTITIES ON HOW FUN THEY'D BE AT MONOPOLY:
1.  The Flesh - 1/10, wont stop trying to use severed body parts as its player token, houses, and hotels. This would be fine if they werent so fresh and thus staining the board. Brought meatloaf and refused to specify what meat was actually involved. We agreed to order pizza instead.
2. The Desolation - 4/10, is a sore loser and barely wants to play as intended. It mostly keeps trying to flip the damn board and when finally realizing its temper tantrum won't work, they just give all their assets to one player to tilt the game unfavorably like a dick.
3. The Lonely - 5/10, didn't show up on time, didn't play, and mostly sat on the couch for all of game night watching reruns of Golden Girls. This is due to the lonely feeling one gets when realizing you'll never have friends like The Golden Girls. They still get a point for watching though.
4. The Dark - 2/10, at first they just kept flipping off the lights which made it hard to play but when The Desolation suggested candles (the only helpful thing they did all evening) The Dark responded by leaking dark water all over which got the money and chance/community cards wet.
5. The Spiral - 6/10, just enjoyed going around and around and around on the board, sorta played? Mostly lied about how much money they had or owed or what chance/community card they pulled. This was because, "math is for losers." Thus, they did whatever they could to quickly get back to going around and around the board.
6. The Vast - 4/10, played the game, didnt perform any antics, but they kept pointing out their vast amount of wealth  after getting hotels on the first row. Points lost for being a prick.  I will say, from time to time, I would get the over whelming feeling that I was falling. This wasn't a large issue until it happened to The Spiral and suddenly no one can seem to find the bathroom in petty revenge.
7. The Slaughter - 0/10, killed the pizza man. This provided two major headaches: a deadbody to deal with and the pizza being ruined from being dropped. Luckily, The Flesh found use for the dead body. As for dinner, we resorted to just munching on the snacks. Also, its really uncomfortable being threatened whenever they happen to land on your property and owe you rent.
8. The Corruption - 3/10, always brings rotten snacks covered in mold. Uses live bugs for pieces which aside from being gross is just not effective cause they dont stay still. How can I recall that their property has three houses when the peices are crawling on my wall? I also just think it is common courtesy to shower before coming over to game night.
9. The Hunt - 8/10, overly competitive but focused on the game and largely helped wrangle the others. Did keep making references to Wolf of Wall Street though which got old quick. It is worth mentioning that they also talked alot about their various hunting trips and buddies which was fine at first until they started describing a recent hunt that I think may have been my coworker who went missing last week.
10. The Eye - 2/10, cheater. Fucking. Cheater. I didn't even know you could cheat that many ways in Monopoly. Also they brought the lead pipe from a Cluedo board as their game piece and kept giggling when I asked why. Further, it is rude to pressure a trade deal by use of blackmailing. Had a lengthy argument about how technically you dont have to draw from the top of the Chance and Community Chest pile
11. The Buried - 8/10, dirt everywhere and I can't be certain but I think they made my chairs smaller? Maybe it was the table? I felt far too close to everyone. I will say they did mostly play the game but you will feel buried beneath your debt after landing on their property which... now that i think about it.. why was their rent so high? That can't be right..
12. The Web - 7/10, much like insects spiders are NOT a suitable game piece. Didn't technically cheat but managed to get ridiculous trade deals from everyone, especially The Spiral. The Desolation gave all their assests to The Eye to screw over The Web but.. to be honest the game is still going and I.. is it possible to have a stalemate in monopoly?
13. The End - 9/10, played the game but kept saying we should up the stakes by having losers die. I explained that this was the sort of game where if it goes on long enough, death is actually the preferred alternative. They understood and got really quiet for awhile. I think they are to blame for why I'm up past my bedtime. I'm growing afraid they'll all still be playing by next week.
14. The Stranger - 6/10, tried to pretend they were my mom. I know they arent my mom. So they taunted me bu saying they were my dad. This was effective as I don't know my dad. Asshole move. Also, would not stop commenting how dry my skin looked. Other than that, yeah actually played the game!
15. The Extinction - 0/10, when it was finally time for everyone to leave we all learned why Extinction had not shown up. Bad news, the outside world has been nuked. The good news is that I don't think I have to pay rent anymore. Or go to work. Oh god. What do I do about groceries?
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soaringwide · 4 months
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Pick a Card: What do you need to hear right now?
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Hello and welcome back to a new pick a card reading!
Today is a general and open one, where we're going to look at What you need to hear right now.
As always this is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not resonates 100%. There are only three piles and a shit ton of you. Takes what resonates and leave out the rest.
Check out my pinned post for more pick a cards or to book a paid reading.
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PILE 1
Cards: 10 of Cups, King of Swords, 5 of Swords, the Chariot, the Empress, the Hanged Man, Queen of Cups, 4 of Pentacles, the High Priestess, Sweet Oblivion, Acceptance
Right now, you seem very preoccupied, by the idea of happiness and emotional fulfillment. I see you wanting more from life and not wanting to settle for your current circumstances. You are an idealist who wishes to enjoy life to its fullest, and I think that includes multiple areas of you life because you don't want to neglect any aspect of it.
But at the same time, there is this idea that your idea of ultimate happiness is an ideal, and ideals are not reality. Reality is uncertain and mysterious, we never know what's around the corner, and I think you're trying to get a hold of that by using your logic over your heart to try to understand and break down what it is you want from life. Truth is, when we want something, even when we get it, it never quite look like what we imagined, and that's quite a struggle when we want to control outcomes.
And I think you're fully aware of the fact that there are going to be some losses on your path towards this beautiful goal of yours. Perhaps you even have already experienced some. You might be wondering if that was all worth the effort in the end and feeling quite defeated on the inside. There might be frictions with you values and feeling like you have to sacrifice something dear to you.
However, despite these sour feelings, you feel like you have to stay determined to make it work and get out of the realm of what's known and comfortable. With the Chariot paired with the Empress, representing respectively Cancer and Venus, there is this idea of slow but unstoppable movement toward you ideal. It's really hard for you to let give up, unthinkable even. Both characters are crowned in stars, representing the hope for something better and the faith you have for yourself.
What you don't see, however, is that you are currently trapped in your own perspective and struggling to see things in a new angle. You are tied to the emotional baggage of your past and it's like you're trying to run away from the pain but you can't, you're stuck with it because its part of yourself, of your story. And I think to some extent you fail to see how these past emotions are affecting the way you see the situation. You learned to be very protective of your well-being, up to a fault because, right now, this inflexibility is creating struggle and pain where there is no need for it.
I also see that you're so focused on the prize that you're blinding yourself to everything else, which is part of why you are stuck in some way.
You advice regarding this situation is all about accepting that you cannot control everything, nor that you should. As we pointed out things will not always unfold the exact way you want them to, which is not necessarily a bad thing. You don't need to know everything, to see 10 steps ahead. It's okay to not know what you are doing, no one does. Yes you are doing that because you want to feel safe, but that's not how reality works. You can't trick your mind into thinking you have full control over your life, that's a delusion, and you're missing out on the mysterious adventure that is life.
So you need to let go a bit, surrender your desire for control and float through life with peace in your heart. What will be, will be. Some things cannot be changed with force and willpower alone. Some things are out of your control and all you can do is accept and let things unfold naturally. Right now you need to let loose a little and learn to have more faith in life and to trust that sometimes, the detours are exactly what we need to experience.
Key words: crisis of faith, winning at all costs, go big or go home, sunken cost fallacy, if i don't help myself then who will, crawling out of a hole, disillusionment, swimming against the current vs floating with it
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PILE 2
Cards: King of Cups, Empress, 7 of Pentacles, the Hermit, the High Priestess, 3 of Swords, Ace of Wands, 7 of Cups, 8 of Pentacles, the Hanged Man, 3 of Cups, 8 of Swords, Rebirth
What you're being asked to look at today, is your emotional balance and the emotional work you've done on yourself to nurture and repair. It seems you've been working at it for quite some time, steadily and patiently. You've been caring for yourself, healing, like a gardener working in his orchards day after day, waiting for the harvest to finally come.
And you did quite well it seems! A lot has been accomplished already. You've done the work and sought inner knowledge; with bravery you looked at every shadow, every past hurt, every trauma, and you've learnt so much from it. You really consciously took the matter into your own hands and were directly acting on your issues. It still hurts at time though and you might be wondering when it will cease to be painful. Truth is, you keep touching the wound so it's probably not helping. I see you quite stuck in waiting for this harvest, the harvest being the point where you feel finally free from all of this ready to seize life again.
You also went through a time of isolation that made you stronger, but I'm also getting that you're struggling to get out of that isolation mode out of comfort and fear mostly. Sometimes when we go through something hard, it makes us feel alienated from others, like it's hard to relate to the everyday problems of people who were lucky enough not to go through something traumatic. It can make you feel envious, or at the very least, a bit disgusted and void of interest to connect with those people, because they just don't get it, and honestly, some people lack the emotional intelligence necessary to handle people who suffered a lot…hence the isolation.
What you don't see, is that you're ruminating your problems and that it's past the point of being helpful. It's like you're going over it again and again and again, trying to see if you can find yet another answer that would end the search once and for all. You're clearly overthinking your feelings and obsessively trying to find a solution to something that has none. What is done is done. Yes you need to mourn, yes you need to let time and introspection sooth the pain, but at some point, the only thing left to do is to move forward again.
The advice regarding this is that you need to drastically change your ways. Flip the way you live on its head. The cards point at getting out of this isolation mode, because the only thing holding you back is yourself in this case. It's like you're scared of going out into the world. You might not feel ready. You might not feel strong enough. You might not feel adequate for this world. But it's not true, it's just another result of overthinking your past hurt. It's time to step out and connect with other people. Celebrate, have fun, laugh, connect with others sincerely and without fear of not being understood. Yes some people won't get it but you'll also be pleasantly surprised by others, and you won't know until you tried.
It's time to leave the old behind, the old being those past hurt you're so familiar with, and this way of being you became so used to contain yourself in. You've spent enough time in the cocoon, now is time to break free from it and spread your wings. It might not be easy in the beginning, you might need to learn to fly again and it will be scary, but it's so, so worth it.
So ask yourself what living your life fully looks like to you. If you were completely free if nothing was holding you back, what would you want to? What would you want to become? Switch the overthinking from the tiny box you stuck yourself in, to the expansiveness of a mind that wants to reach to every corner of the world. The sky is the limit and it's time you look up.
Key words: breaking the shell, chrysalis, rebirth, being stuck in a maze of your own creation, scared to open up, meaningful connections, sunlight, removing the bandage
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PILE 3
Cards: 6 of Pentacles, 6 of Swords, 2 of Cups, 2 of Swords, 2 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, Page of Swords, 3 of Cups, 5 of Swords, 7 of Swords, 10 of Pentacles, 8 of Pentacles, the Great Goddess, Spirit of the Tree
The theme of your reading today is centered around the way you connect to others, be they people or spiritual forces.
More precisely, in the act of service you do for others, with a strong emphasis on keeping the balance in the exchange and the necessity to preserving the harmony between your thoughts and feelings.
With two 6 cards in this position, this highlights reflecting on the way you find the middle point in the way you give and receive your time and energy, but also what it costs you mentally and emotionally. This is a general reading so it's quite nebulous without context, but to some it could point at a specific relationship, or if you're someone who provides service for others, it could point at that, and it could also be relevant for those who do spiritual work.
In any case, what you're clear on in this situation, is that you've reached a point of no return. It's just no possible to keep doing things as you're doing them right now. You've been contemplating this recently and reached the conclusion that you can't make everyone happy at all costs, despite your desire for things to be perfect for all involved. You are sacrificing yourself in the process, to an extent that is not healthy for you. Exchanges between people are never fully balanced and that's just reality, but in the long run you should find some type of balance and not just giving yourself to keep everyone happy but yourself.
What you don't see in this situation is that you're getting the short hand of the stick when it doesn't have to be the case. If every interaction feels like a battle that you have to fight to sourly win, then was it really a win? Others can be here for you as well, for support and enjoyable shared moments. You should be able to all get something from this. If they never give you that, is it truly worth investing yourself in it?
There is a strong need for protecting your boundaries mentally as well. You don't see how letting others step all over you is detrimental to the way you perceive life. It maintains you in your little box where you need to expand your horizon. I think you somewhat lost that side of you. The side that seeks truth, that is strongly rooted in its individuality and critical mind. The you that seeks mental stimulation and adventurous ideas.
For the advice, you need to be honest with yourself because from what I understand, you do see the situation clearly, but for some reason, you're not acting on it. It's like you're lying to yourself a bit. You keep trying to make things work in this very unbalanced state, harming yourself in this task for the sake of others.
You need to look further and think of your abundance and legacy. What will you be remembered for? For what you did to others? It's very noble of you, but what about your enjoyment of life? What about your personal goals? What about what your heart desires?
Think of trees: we now know that despite being fully rooted in themselves and being whole and independent life forms, they do live in community and are able to communicate with each others across species and help each other. The big tree provides shade to the small plants, and the small plants keep the ground moist and fertile. They all benefit from this and create an ecosystem for all to live in.
You are being called to re-balanced things within you and in your life. To get to the root of this blockage you have regarding exchange and service in order to transform yourself. Perhaps what you're doing is actually detrimental to your ultimate goal, and being a bit more focused on yourself, selfish, even, would be the key for more stability.
Key words: giving and receiving, overworking yourself, beneficial selfishness, harmony between extremes, losing yourself in the work, waking up to what matters to you, long term goal, the wisdom of trees, creation and destruction
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crystalandbow · 5 months
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APHRODITE MESSAGES 💌
Hi!
Let's dive into your messages from Aphrodite
Intuitively pick a pile 👇🏻 and check the corresponding message to it! & I hope you enjoy the reading
FREE TAROT
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PILE 1
1212, " I am sexy, I am divine", "affirm"
Y'all are fucking kings and queens and princesses. Just shut up, y'all pretty (inside out) asf.
PRIORITISE YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS.
Y'all be settling for bread crumbs and shit but stop! Like self worth where?
Stop hurting yourself for petty things/people and start to enjoy life. Celebrate yourself.
You could have a talent for natural healing powers so make use of it. The upright Queen of Pentacles can also signify someone involved in a nature religion such as a white witch. It can be an indication that you may have an interest in or a natural talent for Earth magic such as creating potions using herbs.
Connect with Aphrodite if you want to add more peace and calmness into your life. You might also have some (green flag) suitors that want to make you theirs.
" Confident " for some it is asking you to be more confident while for some it shows that you are confident in yourself & your abilities
Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!
PILE 2
"pours out their heart to us"
A change is coming your way.
What change you may ask,
You are now on the verge of releasing all that has been holding you back, you are now realising the value of something (your own worth, value of a person, time, effort, anything) and this is going to bring in a new flow of motion.
New love, new feelings or new passion could be anything but it's good!
You might be going through some tough times but you are very brave and standing high. And this new thing is your reward for trusting the universe. Keep slaying and working hard💪🏻
Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!
PILE 3
Y'all could be feeling tired, disturbed, pissed at everything (or something specific) we actually have very similar cards to pile two.
you have a new opportunity being presented to you rn / soon. this opportunity is brought to you by the divine itself. GRAB IT BITCH! this thing is important for you, it has a potential to grow and get big/ successful. depending on what the thing is it will show you its benefits/pros. it will likely bring you in contact with the right people/ your soulmates/ soul family.
how will you recognize it though? one sign could be your desire for wanting to go for it, you could be naturally talented too.
another message could be that you need to give out to people, help people, be a provider. this could be you providing guidance to people or money or hope/motivation, basically anything.
for some who have been thinking about sharing content online, this is your sign to do it! (and tag me/jkkkk)
Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!
PILE 4
Y'all seem confused and stuck? Like everything "looks" alright but doesn't intuitively feel right. You are unsure if it's you whose the problem or the other thing, something around those lines, yk?
not here to scare you but yall better be careful. Your intuition is on spot especially with that one thing/person.
If something/someone is giving you weird vibes and you can't figure out why then it's the universe trying to speak to you through your intuition. your intuition needs to be addressed, try to dig in deeper with "why" you've been feeling so.
Just be a Lil cautious, that's it ig.
Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!
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frankensteinmutual · 4 months
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Sorry to bother you, but dude. You're so fucking cool. Would you consider sharing your top three favorite books (and why, if you feel like it)? Your aesthetic and taste in media is so fucking *it*
Thank you :)
you're not bothering me at all! in fact you just made me smile like an idiot, so thank you 🫀
I think picking a top three is almost impossible for me, but I can do a top 5:
1. we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson
this is my favourite book of all time. nothing else has ever made me feel like reading this book did. the prose is so beautiful in its raw simplicity, a childish fantasy stated so matter-of-factly you have no choice but to let go of any sense of reason that might prevent you form feeling the words as having sprung from your own mind the instant you are reading them, and the narrator's intimate inner monologue draws you in so magnetically into her enchantingly morbid world of twisted logic and sympathetic magic – it's the sweetest nightmare you never want to wake up from.
2. house of leaves by mark z. danielewski
what is there still to say about house of leaves? it's as good as everyone says it is. I fought for my relationship with this book – we did not get along at all for quite a while – and it was worth it. I think it might have actually made it even better in the end. i feel like this book knows me somehow, like we have a reciprocal relationship with each other in which we are both active parties. I don't think any other work of art has ever given me that. it's the proverbial abyss staring back into you, luring you into its depths and never letting you go again.
3. autobiography of red by anne carson
autobiography of red is a verse novel, so you could think of it as one big poem, and it's beautifully written. the blurring and blending of myth and reality and continuous shifting of fiction and recollection, impression and perception sweeps you up into a tale both ancient and timeless, tragic and hopeful, about a boy who is a monster, or maybe a giant, with three bodies or maybe six hands, a shepherd or a dragon, a son with a red red heart. also, it's gay.
4. piranesi by susanna clarke
piranesi is a bit as if the house from house of leaves cared for you and was also built by plato. it kind of sneaks up on you gently, dangerously but never with malicious intent. it wants to lead you to a place inside yourself that you've never been to or maybe have just forgotten, and uncover what lies in wait there. most of it is love.
5. frankenstein by mary shelley
and for the last one, a classic. I kind of put off reading this for a long time, because I wanted to like it so badly and was very scared I wouldn't, or at least not to a degree that would satisfy, as is unfortunately often the case for me with these kinds of "important" things. but I was so pleasantly surprised. it wasn't hard to get into or inaccessible at all, it didn't bore or alienate me, on the contrary. it touched me so deeply and unexpectedly I didn't stop thinking about it for quite a while. it truly deserves its status in my eyes.
also because I couldn't resist, a visual representation of nine of my favourite books:
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I hope you will find something worth your while in at least one of them!
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opal-owl-flight · 6 months
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Thinking of Agent 4 and how she lost faith in herself.
more deets under the cut!
I saw a comment somewhere that this bitch is very diligent in college so what if after Octo Valley she went back to her normal life. And as such became just another face in the crowd
I feel like as the workload got heavier and heavier, that confidence started to wane. Damn was she brilliant at first but now shes flailing
She takes a break, and decides to come visit base. See some old friends.
Theyve already moved on. Apparently not needed anymore, turns out.
The spankin new Agent 3 is leagues more capable of things than she is. This goblin fought a giant bear??? In space??? Beat the octo king like its nothing?? (She likely didnt have the context of Octavio not having Zapfish power.)
"Huh? Agent 4? Whos that? The one thats supposed to be a big-shot?"
She had the potential to be great, but she wasnt up to par with expectations. Thats all she was. *Potential.* Cant match up to any of the greats -- she isnt even gonna try to compare herself to the legendary Captain, or the scrappy Eight.
Damn. The least remarkable of the platoon. No wonder everyone left her behind.
Tldr.....uh..... 4 decided to pursue a degree and in the process drifted away from the platoon. After struggling in college she decides to go back to them for a bit
Shes already carrying that disappointment for herself from her academic struggles, seeing these new agents (+ promoted Cap3) made that impostor syndrome worse, I think
She *was* great, but I suppose she herself forgot. And with how easy she won the fight everyone thought that maybe that mission wasnt so hard after all.
As the years went by, everyone including herself thought that that mission was just a cakewalk. (EDIT: or at least, thats what she thought everyone was thinking. Isolation and high stress will do that to you!)
Its like.... this activity was indeed hard but it looked so easy when they did it. And then everyone expects them to keep growing. Young genius becoming an einstein
at least, Marina saw that shes worth having around as security in Memverse...even if Pearl doesnt think that shes good enough. (Shes judging her from the way she presented herself. With such low confidence, how can you be good at anything???)
And what if the reason she was so easily dragged under enough for both a palette to be made from her soul, AND create Intensifying Harmony, is bc she agreed with Order on certain aspects
"I will make you perfect. Just like before. And you will stay perfect forever."
"Go on, then. Please. Save me."
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thesirencult · 6 months
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PICK A GROUP : ESOTERIC MESSAGES MEANT TO FIND YOU
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-the above images are from pinterest, the cards depicted in them are random and not directly involved in your reading, pick the deck you feel most comfortable with-
GROUP 1
Sit back and think: "What's the most positive thought I can have about my situation?' Life can bring us down but when we are strictly focusing on the details we make things worse.
See life as a big adventure, ready for you to jump on board and explore. You don't have to be certain where you are going, you just have to believe in yourself, have courage and take action. Sailing into uncharted territory feels scary but it's the only way we can find new lands.
If you believe you can do it, then you can. Commit to your dreams and carry yourself through the storms. Have strong conviction that you'll make it to the other side and nothing can stop you. When we have higher ideas, we tend to withstand more. Stones thrown your way can beused are steps that will take you higher. So, make the best out of every situation, because you can and you deserve to reach the last chapter of this beautiful book, not as the reader, but as the writer.
The secret is you can have whatever you want, but the catch is that you have to believe in yourself.
Prosperity and abundance will find you along the way but be reminded that abundance=wealth=worth=value YOU have assigned to yourself.
GROUP 2
Let me ask you a question, how bad do you want it?
If the answer is really fucking bad then now it's not the time to be a wallflower. Be relentless. Whatever your goal is be bold. Don't be afraid to forge your own path. Self starters are some bad motherfuckers and you are one too, even if you don't feel that you fit the bill.
Strength and leadership are found deep in the heart. You are good hearted and that means you have a strong, visceral, heart force-energy. Reconsider what tha means. Kindness is not weakness but strength we choose to use for good.
Connect with your sacral chakra and the energy of the creator. Something new is starting for you and you need to take the lead.
Speak up, roar, take charge of your destiny. The obstacles will be removed from your path as soon as you realize you have the ability to overcome them. Take care !
GROUP 3
Your issue is your inner voice, a voice that has been created by fears and insecurities and its only goal is to scare you away from your dreams. Don't listen to that voice. It's not yours, but a mirror image to the negative projections others have placed on you. Silence it by holding your vision.
For a moment, reconsider : have your goals changed, even if you never accomplished them. Different strokes for different folks and different goals for each part of our path. Let go of old expectations you or others have placed upon yourself.
You are safe now, because you are strong, stronger than you think.
You need to put an end to something that's been hindering your journey.
GROUP 4
Trust. A word that I bet makes you emotional. You can not trust many, but don't extend taht to yourself.
You can trust yourself. Repeat that over and over again until you believe it. You can trust the divine. You can trust that nature operates on cycles and luck will find you as soon as you step out of your comfortable negativity.
I want you to believe in the impossibe because in the near future a RARE chance will come your way. Luck will smile at you and you have to be ready to take that leap of faith.
What's happened up until now can not be reversed. Sit down and write on a piece of paper what you don't like about your situation. Regroup. You fought long and hard and now it's the time to count your losses and start preparing for the next chapter, victory.
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wonbin-truther · 5 months
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i will
bf! mark x reader - 715 words
hurt/comfort , non idol au
"its always you" mark whispers, hands cupping your cheeks as if you were made of glass as tears fell from his eyes.
it seemed like everything had been going wrong recently. your car had broken down, you misplaced your house keys, you and your best friend got into an argument, and other things that had been building up as the days continued. you could feel yourself slipping into the dark hole you had once pulled yourself out of by the skin of your teeth.
everything boiled over today. first you overslept, curled up in your boyfriends arms so comfortably you missed all your alarms. you showed up to class 15 min late, causing the professor to kick you out. next, you had studied weeks for an exam worth 75% of your grade and failed it horribly. the final thing was your car breaking down for the 3rd time, leaving you to walk back to your small apartment.
you could already feel tears picking your eyes as you kicked off your shoes and collapsed onto the couch. the pounding headache making it hard to gain the strength to get up and finish the housework and classwork that had to get done. you sighed, pushing yourself up to take care of the pilled up responsibilities.
at some point into your now 4 hour studying session your boyfriend mark let himself into your place. "hey babe?" his voice rang through the silence. you didnt respond, focused on the math problem that had your head in your hands. you heard the footsteps get louder as he found his way to your room, pushing open the door. he walked over to your place at the desk and kissed the top of your head. he knew better to interrupt when you were focused.
it had now been 7 hours since you started studying. mark noted how you havent moved from that position despite him trying to get you to eat and drink water for the last 3 hours he was there. he stood up from your bed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pressing a kiss to your temple.
"babe dont you think its time for a break"
"not now"
"lets just get dinner quickly"
everything was starting to bubble over and you could feel the stress getting to you. without thinking you yelled out, "jesus fucking christ mark leave me alone!" you didnt have time to realize what you said until mark let go of you, walking out the door wordlessly. you let the tears fall down your face as you buried your face in your hands. to add on top of the shitty weak, you can put losing your boyfriend.
little did you know mark hadn't gone very far, standing just outside your room so he could take a breather. he heard your muffled sobs and spun on his heel, pushing open your door and making his way to your shaking figure. he turned your chair around so that he had room to kneel in front of you, moving your hands out of your face so he could get a better look at you. you stared at him through wet eyelashes and jumped to hug him, knocking him to the floor and burying your face in his shoulder as you sobbed harder.
he held you close, rubbing circles into your back.
"my love its okay. what happened?" he spoke softly, holding you as close to himself as he could.
"i dont deserve you," he made out between your sobs.
"what do you mean?"
"you're too good for me. i dont deserve it"
his heart broke into a million pieces as he felt tears prick his eyes. he pulled you away from his shoulder, cupping your face in his hands. he left kisses all over your face, making you scrunch your nose and let out a small giggle as he continued to pepper them around your face. as he pulled away, you caught a tear slip down his cheek.
"why are you crying?" you stared at him, placing your hands over his.
"i hate when you cry. you deserve more than the universe could ever give you. it'll always be you my pretty girl," he left a gentle kiss on your lips and you happily kissed back. he pulled away and rubbed the stray tears from your cheeks.
"cuddle and watch a movie?" you asked
"whatever my girl wants to do"
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a/n not proofread so idk if theres mistakes here 😭
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cheriladycl01 · 4 months
Text
The month of winning - Alex Albon x ZimbabweanOlympicSailing! Reader
Plot: As an old money girl, having been part of your dads sailing club for years you become an athlete, getting a silver medal for your country and a new boyfriend!
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You and Alex new it was going to be a busy few weeks, You'd been training hard for the Olympics your whole life. Your dad was part of a fancy yacht and sailing club in your home town. And he was a very very wealthy man, some of the yachts he sold ended up in places of the world like Monaco.
You'd grown up with just your dad, and were homeschooled and were constantly helping him with the boats and that started your love for sailing as a sport. You started to compete in championships when you were old enough and your father had taught you everything you know about the sport.
Everyone you grew up with and Alex came to watch you at the Paris Olympics. And it was a moment to remember getting silver. You were stood on the podium your flag flying in the wind making the biggest grin ever to appear on your face.
You could see Alex and your dad in the stands cheering loudly for you, making you wave and blow them a kiss.
After your win, you wanted to travel home to see all your old friends and family who couldn't go all the way to France for the Olympics, and wanted to congratulate you on your win. It was the off season for Alex too, so you both got to spend loads of time sightseeing Zimbabwe.
Alex loved animals, mainly pets but that didnt stop him from freaking out when you guys took a day to go on a safari and see all the animals your dad would take you to see in the reserves as a kid.
He used probably 3 sd cards for the digital camera he brought to take pictures and filled out storage on his phone too with the amount of pictures he'd taken on just the safari alone. It was crazy, and when you asked him to take a nice picture of you, it would take him ages scrolling through to try find it when you wanted him to send it to you so you could upload it to your Instagram.
"Baby, come on its a picture of me vs a picture of a cheetah how cant you pick me out!" you laughed looking over his shoulder as he's scrolling through trying to find the picture of you at the watering hole.
"Look, I took so many of all the animals and only like 4 of you because the rest were on your phone!" he exclaims before he gasps and see's a gorgeous picture of you.
"Awwww look at my pretty baby!" he grins showing you the picture making you shake your head in disbelief.
"Right, send that to me now... before you loose it!" you chuckle. And he does air-dropping it to you there and then.
After a beautiful week in your home country it was time for the end of Alex's summer break and for him to get back in the car racing. You were excited because he'd extended his contract with Williams and you knew that even though this year wasn't going very well for them, that each race the data they were gathering making it easier to predict which upgrades were needed and worth it.
Monaco, being as historic as it was came with a few upgrades that not only had Williams buzzing but the whole paddock because it looked like they might be in the position to fight for some points this weekend unlike Alpine and Sauber who unfortunately were still struggling with various issues.
You could sense in both Alex and Logan how excited they were for these huge next steps.
"How's the car feeling this weekend? It's looking nicer to drive, more steady on both of you" you questioned the boys who both nodded with grins on their faces.
"Yeah, it's an incredible change it feels so smooth now. Like it felt like we were fighting the car before but now it's complying with us, its a great feeling!" Logan answered only for Alex to nod in agreement.
"Yeah i can definitely see us grabbing points this weekend!" Alex smiles.
Two days later on the Sunday Alex was in P11 and Logan was defending P8 incredibly well and there was only a few laps left to go. Ahead of Alex was two drivers. Yuki Tsunoda in P9 right behind Logan and Lewis in P10.
Last lap action was every fans favrioute but as a WAG it was the most stressful. Especially for you as you knew Alex, even though he was a smooth driver would start to push more than he might be able to handle.
You were stood with his mum and sister and Logans girlfriend and parents biting your nails in anticipation as he pulled up alongside Yuki and Lewis, and taking the inside line managed to overtake both of them.
A cheer came through the paddock upon realizing that Logan also just made the overtake of his career getting him up to P7, placing Lance Stroll in between the two Williams drivers.
They crossed the finish line, Logan in P7 and Alex in P9, a double points finish for Williams, the first points they'd gotten this season and the garage and pit wall went wild as you all ran out to go find the drivers to celebrate.
Alex was grinning from ear to ear in his post race interview, his eyes kept meeting yours behind the camera and interviewer making him chuckle every now and then.
"Amazing race today Alex, first points for both you and Logan. How are you feeling having this and your girlfriend winning and Olympic medal all in the same month!" she asks and his grin widens if that's possible.
"Yeah, i mean I'm so thankful to everyone this weekend for making it happen, it was definitely a long time coming getting these points but we've done it. We're happy with this weekends progression and yeah we're gonna push harder next weekend in Montreal! Obviously I'm so proud of my amazing girlfriend as well, she has worked so hard for everything she's achieved and yeah she deserves the world for the support she's given me over this weekend" he answers.
"Thank you Alex!" she smiles before letting him go and getting ready for Logan.
"What a month" he sighs pulling you into a hug and kissing the side of you head.
"What a month indeed!" you grin back.
y/user
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Liked by alex_albon georgerussell63 landonorris and williamsracing
y/user: From a weekend in Zimbabwe Sailing and winning Silver to a weekend in Monaco, Fast Cars and Formula One all w/ Boo 🔥
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y/dads/user: Amazing medal sweetheart! So proud please come back soon!
-> y/user: we will! Alex loved all the animals and seeing you guys again!
fan1: so proud of this woman for bringing silver home!
alex_albon: two weekends I’ll never forget! Big celebrations incoming 🫶🏼🇿🇼🇹🇭
-> fan2: omg he put their flags together!
-> y/user: Love you Alex and I’m so great full you were there! 🫶🏼❤️
fan3: she just looks expensive, you guys know what I’m saying?
-> fan4: she comes from old money so she has those vibes!
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solarmorrigan · 8 months
Text
Hands Where I Can See Them, Part 12 (End!)
Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3 | Pt 4 | Pt 5 | Pt 6 | Pt 7 | Pt 8 | Pt 9 | Pt 10 | Pt 11 | Ao3
[Warning for brief references to sex; nothing explicit happens]
-
For the first time in a long time, Steve wakes slowly.
His alarm isn’t blaring at him and neither is his brain; it’s quiet, and the room is filled with morning sun, and Steve is warm, and comfortable, and still a little muzzy with the heavy sort of sleep that usually only comes to him when he’s physically exhausted or feeling safe (usually the former).
He blinks at the blurry mess of color that is his wallpaper and tries to remember what day it is, tries to will himself to get up, because he’s sure there’s something he’s supposed to be doing, but it’s hard. He’s so comfortable. He turns his face further into his pillow, pressing in where it’s warm and firm and– breathing.
Steve sits up.
Beside him, Eddie is still asleep, lying sprawled across the mattress with one arm flung half over the side and the other stretched out where it had been curled around Steve’s back before Steve pulled away. There’s a red mark on his chest where Steve’s head had been resting, and he’s sure there’s a corresponding splotch of red on his cheek.
As the sleepy fog finally lifts from his brain, the previous night filters back in, and Steve can’t help the smile that follows. He shifts a little just to feel the pleasurable ache in his muscles, to feel the warmth of the cocoon of sheets around them, to feel the way the mattress dips beneath the weight of a second body, and sighs contentedly.
He’s just considering lying back down when Eddie groans, a drowsy frown pulling at his face.
“Where’d you go?” he asks, eyes still closed (at least, Steve’s sure that’s what he means to ask; it comes out a little more like “Whrd y’go?”, and he’s pleased that his ability to decipher Eddie’s half-awake mumbling hasn’t suffered in its absence of use).
“I didn’t go anywhere, I’m right here,” Steve says, laying his palm over Eddie’s chest and running his thumb along the ridge of his collarbone.
Eddie hums, bringing his hand up from over the edge of the bed to place it over Steve’s. “‘s too early to be awake,” he mutters, a little more coherent this time. “Come back.”
“It’s not even that early. It’s…” Steve ducks and squints a little to bring his alarm clock into focus, everything still a little blurry without his contact lenses in. “Holy shit, it’s past ten.”
“See? Early.” Eddie reaches up with his free hand to pat around for a hold on Steve’s arm so he can tug at him. “Lay back down.”
“I never sleep this late, what the hell,” Steve mutters, and Eddie finally opens his eyes, giving Steve a grin that’s equal parts sleepy and self-satisfied.
“Wore you out, didn’t I?” he asks.
“Oh, yeah, I’m exhausted,” Steve deadpans, before proceeding to flop back down onto Eddie’s chest, smirking at the little ‘oof’ he earns. “I don’t know if I can even move. Hope you don’t have to pee anytime soon.”
Eddie shrugs. “Eh, if I do, it’s your bed, not mine.”
“Ew. Dude.” Steve props himself back up on his elbow in order to wrinkle his nose at Eddie.
“You’re the one who brought it up,” Eddie says with a smirk, and – shit, Steve’s really missed this.
Eddie is one of the only people in the world Steve feels like he can completely be himself around. He’s second only to Robin (everyone will always be second to Robin, that’s just a given), and that’s what had devastated Steve most when he’d heard what Eddie had to say about their relationship. He thought he’d let Eddie see all of him, and Eddie hadn’t seen anything worth wanting.
Worth loving.
But that, apparently, hadn’t quite been the case.
“Hey,” Eddie calls Steve’s attention back, picking his hand up off his chest to press a kiss to the back of it. “Where’d you go?”
No, that hadn’t been the case at all.
Steve shakes his head. “Nowhere,” he promises. “I’m right here.”
He leans down for a kiss, and Eddie pulls their combined hands aside to meet it, bringing his free hand up to curl into Steve’s hair, cradling the back of his head.
It isn’t as though all the hurt has healed – all of Steve’s doubts and insecurities haven’t magically disappeared. As much as Steve might wish, it isn’t as though the last several weeks never happened. They can’t change any of that now, but Eddie’s honesty, his openness– openness from them both will take them a long way forward.
The idea still sits as a bit new to Steve: honesty. He’s used to people saying one thing and doing another. He’s used to being expected to decipher convoluted social cues and having to intuit unspoken messages. He’s used to not being allowed to ask for what he wants and just accepting whatever he’s given.
This, he thinks, will be better.
The kiss doesn’t end so much as it slides into another, and another, until Eddie and Steve have rolled to their sides, legs tangled together beneath the blankets, mouths sliding against one another, lazy and unhurried. There’s a hint of heat beneath their movements, something that could spark into more if they let it, but Steve is content with just this for now. There will always be time for more later.
Eddie hums deep in his chest when the kisses trail to an end, voice still warm and sleep-rough, and Steve rests his forehead against Eddie’s, unwilling to go too far away just yet.
“Good morning,” Steve says when Eddie opens his eyes again, and he can feel the puff of Eddie’s sigh against his lips.
“Don’t say that,” Eddie whines. “If you say that, we have to get up.”
Steve gives a little laugh. “We can’t stay in bed all day, Eddie.”
“Sure we can,” Eddie drawls, pushing at Steve’s shoulder until he takes the hint and rolls onto his back, only to have Eddie lay down on top of him, pressing him into the mattress. “In fact, I think that’s a great idea.”
“Do you seriously have no other plans for the day?” Steve asks, as if he has any pressing engagements himself.
Eddie presses a kiss to the base of Steve’s throat, humming thoughtfully. “Maybe one or two,” he says, trailing a few more kisses up the side of Steve’s neck.
“Besides that,” Steve huffs, though he makes no move to stop Eddie when his hand comes to rest on the waist of Steve’s pajama pants.
“What am I, an event planner?” Eddie asks, but he does pull away from Steve’s neck with a petulant (and largely exaggerated) sigh. “Fine. How about we stay in bed most of the day and then… we can go back to mine for dinner?”
Steve looks up at Eddie, brows drawing together as he thinks. “What’s at yours that we’d need for dinner?”
Eddie shrugs. “Nothing, really. It’s just been a while,” he says quietly.
And– well, it has. Eddie’s trailer used to be one of the places Steve had felt most comfortable, but he hasn’t spent more than a few minutes there in passing since he’d emptied it of his things. He misses it there – how warm and welcoming it always was, how he’d felt like he belonged there.
What if he goes back now and it’s changed? What if he feels as out of place there now as he does in his own house?
He must spend a moment too long thinking about it, because Eddie begins to backpedal.
“But if you don’t want to, we totally don’t have to, we can just–”
“No,” Steve cuts in. “Let’s go to yours for dinner.”
A slow-growing smile pulls across Eddie’s face, and Steve can tell he’s fighting the urge to duck and hide it.
“Wayne misses you, y’know,” Eddie says, and now it’s Steve who’s ducking away from eye contact.
“Misses my cooking, I bet,” he jokes, but Eddie shakes his head.
“Misses you. He does like you, Steve. He asked where you were, after– after everything,” Eddie says, and Steve isn’t sure what the hell he’s supposed to say to that, or if he even can speak around the sudden, weird choke of emotion in his throat. Eddie, as if he can sense his dilemma, saves Steve from having to respond. “He misses your cooking too, though, let’s be real. He had the audacity to tell me the other day that my mac and cheese isn’t as good as yours. It was your recipe!”
Steve laughs, and Eddie really plays up the offense.
“And you know the worst part? He was right,” Eddie laments. “It’s the same recipe, how does that even work?”
“So, what I’m hearing is that you want me to come to your house and cook you dinner,” Steve teases, smirking up at Eddie.
Eddie subsides just a little, packing away his theatrical energy in order to smile back down at Steve. “I just want you to come over. I’ll order dinner if you want. Hell, I’ll submit myself to public ridicule and try cooking for you again.” He cups Steve’s cheek in one hand and leans in to kiss him gently. “Whatever you want, Steve, I’m there.”
“Yeah?” Steve asks, quiet, almost breathless with the depth of Eddie’s promise.
“Yeah,” Eddie answers, his smile as ridiculous and smitten as the look on Steve’s own face must be. “I’m right here with you.”
And Steve decides he likes the sound of that. He likes it very much.
-
Thank you to everyone who gently threatened me encouraged me to continue the first part of this story, it's been so fun to write and to see everyone interact with! You've all been very kind, and I hope the ending satisfies <3
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lovezbrownies · 3 months
Note
More yandere Lauren please! I'm obsessed with her❤️
Sorry for taking so long!
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Lauren's Masterlist + General Masterlist
Synopsis: The 4 times in a day in which Lauren acts strange and affectionate!
Lauren McCanister x GN!Reader
Warnings: None! Maybe a bit of jealous and lots of physical affection, Julie Cameo!
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1. Lip looking
Lauren adores you and has no clue how to convey it to you. She tries to be nice and ends up making a horrible remark about you, she’s forever stuck in an endless cycle. Even her mother couldn’t help her, since she wasn’t the most romantic. So Lauren resorted to using physical affection rather than verbal, which did little to nothing since even if she’s cuddling you Lauren will end up saying something so horrible that will ruin it all. This woman has no control of her mouth!
One thing, however, is that she loves to drive you to and from school, picking you up in the early morning, and seeing that groggy look on your face makes waking up at 3 am for you so worth it. Today was one of those wonderful days, where she’d beep the horn of her car before stepping out, leaning on the passenger’s car door awaiting your wonderful arrival. 
Soon enough, you close the front door behind you, yelling out a goodbye to your family you turn back to Lauren and her stupid pink car. Sighing in defeat you walk over to her, not a single day has she missed to drive you to and from school, even when she’s somehow sick Lauren is there to drive you to school and back home. It would be such a beautiful gesture if she weren’t the devil incarnate but whatever, saves you on the bus fees and gas.
While you mentally groan over the fact she’s the one to treat you like this, Lauren is stood there like a buffoon, mesmerized by just… You. You looked so casual today, she could already see you together older and more mature, married and rich, and so deeply in love with each other neither the two of you would mind a messy appearance, still comfortable in each other’s presence even if it lacked the air of perfection.
Lauren was so deep in dreamland she almost didn’t notice you waiting for her to stop leaning against the passenger’s car door so you could go in. No rather than moving aside, she stood there, staring at your lips. Oh, whatever seduction tactics you had up your sleeves they’re workin’! Because dear lord is she pulled in you and your lips by now, so perfect, even if it was chapped Lauren wanted to know how it felt to kiss you, to have passionate makeouts together, anything that could give her a taste of your lips.
“Hey,” A hand stood before her eyesight, snapping its fingers, “Lauren, you want me to sit in the back or what?” Lauren quickly cleared her throat, trying as hard as she could to play off how awkward that was. God, you could unknowingly kill her one day just by living.
“N-No, just get in the car I want to grab some breakfast before we get to school, that c-cool with y-you?” Yet again she begs for your attention.
2. Hand holding
Maybe eating breakfast as dine-in was a bad idea, seeing how busy and crowded the hallways are right now. Usually, you and Lauren would get to school earlier, and Lauren would force you to sit with her until the bell for first-class rings, which she parts ways with you. But today you two came much later than usual, and are now stuck in a big crowd of smelly stinky teens.
“Lords above, the hell is this? It’s too damn- Hey! Don’t fucking push them freak!” Lauren yelled out, scaring the freshman to her very bones when Lauren saw you get pushed, “Fuck, take my hand.”  Lauren exclaimed out to you, holding her hand out for you. That single sentence surprised you so much, that you stopped walking entirely, letting the flow of people take Lauren away while pushing you off to the side.
The hell was she on? Your face expressed only one emotion, disgust. Shaking off the shock you decided to just get to class alone, even if it upsets Lauren later on. However, with the flow of students you could barely make it back in the crowd, might as well just sit here until they all pass through. You’d rather be late than bruised up from these actual animals. 
You took out your phone, ready to scroll the time away, when suddenly and out of nowhere a manicured hand grabbed your arm, flinching you tried to pull away but she gripped onto you even harder, looking up you saw the owner of the cute nails, Lauren McCanister yet again haunting you. “Lord, almost lost you, these fucking animals pushed me can you believe that? Come on, let’s go, I’ll make sure you get to class s-safe or whatever.”
Lauren then grabbed your hand, holding onto it tightly, bracing for the worst as you two attempted to pass the crowd of people. You were annoyed by it all, while she could barely breathe knowing how intimate hand-holding is in relationships. If you let her hold onto you like this does it mean you might like her too? What if you liked being berated daily? No, that she is sure you hate, but she’ll try to be a bit nicer, though she can’t control herself much.
3. Waist holding
It’s been a few hours now, it was the 4th class of the day and thankfully your teacher decided to spare the class and got permission to let the class have fun in the courtyard. You and a few other people were standing talking together about some inane subject you didn’t care for much but still participated in the conversation every now and then, it was nice to speak with people other than Lauren, it felt so great to actually have a group of people to be friends with too!
You were listening to whoever was speaking at the moment, and a friend of yours, Savannah, was leaning against you. Her long slender arms wrapped around your neck, her entire body supported by your own, and her head snuggling into your neck. It was short of an intimate pose, but you were used to it since Savannah has always been a touchy-feely friend, of course with your own consent. Some people make you feel so comfortable with physical affection, and some don’t, Savannah is one of those who do, she’s such a comforting person with an amazing smell.
Even if you were okay with her physical affection, another woman isn’t so into it. Lauren, as usual, wasn’t paying attention in class. It was English class and her least favorite subject, so what else is there to do other than cure her boredom by spamming you with text messages and then getting extremely upset when you don’t even open them so she looks out the window? However, her usual solution made her even more upset this time, in fact, the tall blonde was enraged.
This other woman was hanging off of you like it was no big deal, snuggling into your neck, looking at you as if she was yours. No fucking way will Lauren let that fucking bitch do that without any consequences, does she not know Lauren owns you?! That fucking freak might just end up dead by the end of the week. 
Lauren quickly excused herself, saying she had to go to the bath but really she was about to beat the shit out of a woman. Lauren sped through hallways, damn near smashing the floor beneath her feet as she angrily stomps to the courtyard. Though as she nears the courtyard she sees you and that woman walking out of the courtyard, the woman still clinging to your arm. Her eyes lock onto yours and suddenly her resolve just vanishes, oh you’re so stunning. Almost tripped Lauren up with your god-sent features.
Suddenly she’s become soft, and suddenly her need to beat up that woman disappears. So Lauren just marches on towards you. You and Savannah stopped walking when you saw the angry stomping of a certain bully. Soon Lauren finally reaches you and the other one, quickly pushing her off of you, Lauren grabs you by the shoulders before spinning you around and pinning you to her own body, she gives a look to Savannah before walking off with you in tow.
“W-What’s going on? [Name]! I-” Savannah tries to ask and chase after you but Lauren immediately yells out, “Leave them the fuck alone, you damn obsessed freak!” Her hand trails down from your arms to your waist, gripping onto the skin there harshly, causing you to let out a hiss at the pinch. “Heavens, she’s fucking crazy why the hell do you hang out with her? Whatever, doesn’t matter, from now on you don’t speak to her you don’t touch her, got that?” Lauren trails off until you two finally reach that one ‘abandoned’ classroom Lauren rebranded into her own romantic hangout place.
She spent the entire class period just… cuddling into you in silence covered by blankets and pillows. You managed to get her to let you go since you didn’t want to get in trouble and keep your grades up. The rest of the day, however, Lauren skipped all her classes to keep an eye on you, where she then got called into the Principal’s office with her mom and you, you were only there because Lauren refused to let you take the bus or walk home. 
4. Forehead kissing
It was quiet and awkward. Usually with Lauren, there would be loud 2000’s music playing and you can use your phone whenever. But with Lauren’s mom driving, there was no music, and there were no phones since she took both your phones away for “Social bonding exercises.” though she was the one speaking most of the time, with Lauren staring out the window clearly upset with the turn of events.
Lauren hates this, it was too awkward for a car ride, and her mom is totally crossing so many boundaries and feeding you too much information about Lauren, Lauren’s childhood, and Lauren’s secret obsessions. And Lauren knows if she tries cutting off her mom to tell her she’s saying too much her mom will only embarrass her more by saying shit like “Well, your romantic partner needs to know you better Lauren. You’re too secretive, reminds me when Lauren accidentally–” And then continues with the most horrifying story ever.
It doesn’t matter anyway, your opinion of her may have been bad before but it’s definitely worse now, how the hell will she even fix this. As she was wallowing in self-pity you were trying to count the minutes until you finally reached your humble abode. 5…4…3…2…1…Finally! You’re home! “Uh, thanks for the ride Miss McCanister..” You awkwardly say as you try to open the door, yet to no avail, the child-lock is seemingly on.
“Wait. Lauren get out and open the door for your roma-” “Y-Yeah! I-I got it! Don’t need to finish that…” Lauren cut her mom off, not willing for you to hear what her mom refers to you she quickly gets out of the car while you silently groan, you can finally get out of that damn stuffy car as Lauren opens the car door wide open for you, “Okay, good job. Now go walk them to their front door and give them a goodbye ki-” “H-Hey! L-Let’s go! Come on, walk faster, come on.” Lauren once again cuts her mother off as she quickly pushes you down the pathway to your house.
Once you finally reached your front door you tried to open the door only for Miss McCanister to yell out, “Wait! Do not enter until you both say your goodbyes! It’s roma-”
“We got it, Mom!” 
“Okay, I’ll look away so you can kis-”
“Mother!!”
Lauren and Julie back and forth until Julie finally sighs and looks away from you two and Lauren looks back at you and then immediately looks away again with a soft blush on her face.
God was it hard to find the courage to say a single damn word, every time Lauren opened her mouth to say something, she just couldn’t use her voice. So without another word, she grabbed you by the shoulders and just… pecked you on the head. You stared back at her, eyes wide and confusion clear on your face. You were fucking horrified. Why in god’s name would your bully just… Kiss your head? Just as you were about to question what the hell she was doing she planted another kiss, but it stayed a little longer and was on your forehead this time. “B-Bye!” Lauren mustered out before actually running back into the car, telling her mom to drive off as fast as she could.
This might just be a day worth forgetting. Not like you even want to remember. Yuck!
This might just be a day worth remembering. Not like Lauren even wants to forget. Yum!
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all444miles · 1 year
Note
Hiii, I just saw that you were doing requests so I was wondering if you could do e-42 miles with black readers hair? Like helping her pick out different braiding and natural styles, maybe some wash day headcanons as well?
— TOUCH MY HAIR
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— pairing: e-42 miles x fem!black!reader — genre: fluff — summary: just miles loving you and your hair ‹3 — a/n: tyyyy for this req, i am squealing rn + i alr had this idea in my prompt list but u gave me a reason to start it !! ‹3 my hcs always got miles saying sum outta pocket then the reader calls him out then he goes “my fault”, its a lil funny motif ima keep on adding 😭 also the n word is used a bit in this, js sayin!! enjoy ♡ ᖭི(ˊᗜˋ*)ᖫྀ
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we all know n we've established this, miles is more than happy to pay for ur shit, esp if its your hair.
he wouldn't think twice before sending you the money for you to get your hair done. he wont listen or care if you say no, either.
"miles, bae, why u sendin me 200?" "what else? so you can get your hair done, mami." "baby, you know damn well that's too much." "buy yourself some other stuff too, if you wanna, but that money yours now, i ain't takin it back." "you.. you do too much." "mhm, make sure to show me a pic of when you get it done, you heard?"
he's always your hype man, for sure.
i got a feeling he a major fan of faux locs or boho/godess braids, so if you got that on? he'll fold.
"dayum ma, that shit looks good." "i cant even lie, Aaliyah did real good on this. she sure was tryna make me go broke though.." "worth every cent, cuz you look fine as hell with them faux locs." "miles." "im just saying, mami, your hair, like.. lord have mercy." "miles!" "my fault, i ain't lying though."
when your hair’s all natural, he loves to watching you style your hair for school, events, etc.
one time you let him style your hair, and you couldn’t even lie, it actually looked pretty good.
“these edges.. how do y'all do this shit every day?” “miles, baby, it ain’t that hard. look, lemme show you.”
you had to show him a quick tiktok tut on how to do edges, took him 2 videos before he got it 😭
“see that? like a c shape, and swoop it.” “..like this?” “yeah! you gotta do that like, 4 more times though.” “ay, dios mio. (oh my God). Mama, i ain’t doing allat.”
and wash day? his absolute favorite.
(short drabble ahead!)
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Good Days by SZA played from Miles' speaker, blasting in the background, the gentle splashes of the warm water from the shower onto your curls.
You relaxed, your head leaning back further into the bathtub, your lover grabbing your scalp massager and rubbing it into your scalp carefully, shampoo mixed in, the rest of your products on the end corner of your bathtub.
"Ma, you know you really needed this wash. Your hair was tangled as shit, like a lion or sum.” he says, laughing halfway through his sentence. You scoff at him jokingly, "Miles, when you have hair as long and thick as mine, you can violate my hair."
Miles protested, adding the conditioner to your hair, setting your scalp massager aside. "Baby, my hair is basically almost as long as yours."
"Yeah, almost." you spoke, putting your fingers up to his face in pinching motion, the gems on your acrylics just an inch close to touching his nose, a grin on your face. He backed up, pushing your hands out of his face, continuing your wash routine. "Princesa, lemme finish washing yo hair without your hands all up in my face."
About 3 and a half hours later, your hair was washed and in overnight twists with your bonnet on. You laid with Miles in your bed, legs on top of each others, tired.
"Y'know, you actually good at dealin' wit my hair." you spoke, giving Miles a kiss on his forehead. “When you got a mama like mine, you pretty much have to.” Miles chuckled, shaking his head. “You should let me do it more often.” You smiled in response.
He buried his head into the crook of your neck, slowly dozing off by the way you'd play with the silk of his durag. "I love you Miles."
He mumbled words once again into your neck, half asleep, but you knew what he said.
"I love you more, mi vida."
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