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#its something im working through and have been for a while
ao3commentoftheday · 9 hours
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Hiiii i love this blog and its such a joy to have you on my dash again!
Im sure you get a lot of questions, but in a recent post you said people tend to sort by kudos when new to a fandom, and I'm curious both why you say that, and what other/better ways of finding fics might be?
I default to sorting by kudos, and always have, but ive found i struggle to find fics i actually enjoy that way but dont know how to change my searching technique. 😔
Sorting by kudos lets you know that other people liked a fic, but I've never found popularity to be a big factor in whether I like a thing or not. I do see a lot of people recommending that method, though, even though to me it makes no sense.
My way may or may not work for you (I've never done that much reading in mega fandoms, for instance), but I sort by Date Posted or Date Created most of the time.
If I'm new to a fandom and the fandom has existed for a while, I'll dip back into older works. You can specify a date range for when a work last updated. It's at the bottom of the Filters menu, in the More Options section:
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If a show is currently in season 5 and I'm only on season 2, then I want to read the fics that were written in season 2. It makes my brain happy in a way that might or might not be logical, but hey - it works for me.
Since the fandoms and pairings I have historically enjoyed are not huge, I don't really filter for (or remove) tags all that much. I just scroll through the works list and skim summaries until something sounds interesting. Then I look at the associated tags and decide if it's a work that I want to try out or if it looks like something I wouldn't enjoy.
If there are a lot of works and I'm having a hard time narrowing things down, then I look to the Word Count filter to help me out. I know that I love fics under 10K pretty much all the time, so I can use that as a way to reduce the number of results I'm sorting through if I find that there are too many.
That's it, really. And if I'm all caught up in the fandom? Then I just go with the default sorting of Date Posted and start in on the summaries. I'll either go through the fandom tag or, if I ship something, the ship tag(s). I find that to be the best way for me to find something interesting - and I run into tons of stuff I never would have seen if I'd been looking at other stats.
If you have a preferred way of finding good stuff (that isn't the tried-and-true asking a friend for recs), feel free to share it in the notes!
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lustlovehart · 1 day
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Hi there, i saw ur blade fics & omg 😳 So i came here to send a req for another blade content with gn reader. No yandere blade, but kinda dark (related to ur latest fic of him & i hope u r ok with my req, feel free to decline it).
So, ur latest fic said the reader leaves all of the 'sinning' to him. What if the reader wants to kill someone cz that person is somehow related to their past (in terrible terms with them & it haunts the reader like how it haunts blade). But the reader remembers to leave the 'sinning' to him, so they ask blade to do it (even though they apologize afterwards cz they feel like burdening him).
I hope my req is all safe, im sry if it's complicated 😭 But thx a lot!
Hell Is A Place Without You
A/n: Ahhh!!! I’m so happy you enjoy my Blade writings ^^, I actually already was planning on making a part 2 for it so this req was perfect | pt.2 of I’ll Suffer Your Sin
Summary: Your mind is dirtied with unwanted memories, who knew that nightmare would come back to haunt you? Only you decide who ends your dream. [Date with Blade goes horribly wrong]
Warnings: Violence, Blood, Being watched while you sleep, Awkward Bladie trying to court you, Minor Character Death, horrifically written fight scene
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It’s impossible to truly escape your past, the traces and scars it left behind on you will always remain on your body, no matter how hard you scrub it off. Even in your own dreams, you aren’t free of such a hell. The way that they had betrayed you is etched so deep into your skin tearing your flesh to reach its core will never be enough to absolve you from the memory. The past you remember is buried in blood, their laughter ringing in your ears as you watched them destroy everything you had, yourself as well.
You dream of being free, alas, you'll be chained by it as long as they have you.
“Is something wrong?” The way your heart pumps as gasps of air rush in and out of your lungs doesn’t fail to go unnoticed by the man next to you. He’s bare, the only thing covering his torso being the bandages wrapped around his waist. The way the light from the moon gazing through the window highlights his prettiest features, his muscular stature, his face, and even the scars that adorn his skin are beautiful.
You're sure you would've liked the sight more had you been in a regular state of mind. The events from yesterday still continue to stir you up, and the nightmare only made it worse.
"I-It's nothing just a… Wait, have you slept at all Blade…?"
"No, I haven't"
"Why? I know you have sleeping problems but you should try."
" I was making sure you're okay." For a moment his eyes lock onto your wrapped hand, a cruel reminder of what he had done yesterday, 
"Were you… Watching me sleep…?" he blinks a few times at you before turning back towards the window. Maybe that cold chill up your spine was caused by him instead of your nightmare.
“If I said no you wouldn’t be convinced.” He’s right, even if he did you would most definitely tell he was lying. Well to be fair, he never lies to you, so it wouldn’t be hard to tell in the first place. Now that you think about it, there are some moments in which you wish he would’ve created a fake truth, alas, him and his “that will change nothing” mindset won’t fulfill that wish.
“You’re right, I probably wouldn’t.” You lift yourself from the bed, the sun still hasn’t risen, in fact, it’s still evening, but knowing you have a serial sleepwatcher in the room with you, it might just be better to stay up.
His eyes follow your groggy form slowly putting your work outfit on, his gaze not at all straying. It’s only when you look straight at him that he finally decides to not stare.
He breaks the silence while you’re trying to put on your shoes, his words making you pause and look back up at him for a moment, a null feeling hidden in your chest makes you consider telling him, but in the end, you choke it down and pay no mind to his words, going back to putting your footwear on.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I said it was nothing—“ You don’t feel like announcing your personal problems as of the moment. When you finish, your body stands back up to its regular height, a small scream escaping your lungs when you turn around and find your coworker standing too close for comfort behind you. His stone-cold face is only inches apart from your own, each breath that escapes him being felt on your skin.
Despite how intimidating the situation is from an outsider's perspective, this proximity of closeness is usual between the two of you, so it doesn’t bother you as much as it should, but that doesn’t stop the chill in your body from happening.
“I don’t lie to you, I never would. Why don’t you hold the same sentiment?” His voice is soft, it’s a dead giveaway of his feelings for you, at least, you think it is, he’s not exactly the type to directly say “I love you”, so you have to gauge his current emotions through his body language and actions. It’s not a problem for you, that doesn’t mean it’s easy though.
“But I’m… I’m not lying.”
“Yes. You are. You’re not very good at it.” Sometimes you wish the two of you didn’t work as well as you do, if that was the case, maybe he wouldn’t be able to see through you so easily.
“You’re right I’m lying. But… I don’t know why you care so much… It has nothing to do with you.” Your sentence starts soft before branching out into a firmer tone. This change in attitude made his breath, though barely audibly, hitch in his throat. You don’t speak any more words, only letting his sight linger on you a little longer. His eyes close when he finally retracts himself from your body.
The breath you had held in your esophagus was finally sighed out from the sudden free space. When you look up again, you see the man walk towards the door, the handle clicking as he unlocks and turns it open.
Is he gonna leave…? No is he… Brooding…? The door swings open quickly, his body maneuvering so he’s on the side. He doesn’t look at you, but with the way he’s holding the door, you assume he’s holding it open for you.
“Let’s go.”
“Wha? It’s practically midnight… Where would we go? Nothing's open, and the script is meant to start in a couple of hours—“
“Do we need to have something to do?”
“Well, usually, yeah.”
“Then we’ll walk.” His eyes still don’t make contact with yours, but you can feel the very feint feeling of him wanting you to agree. As you walk forward your body can’t help but hesitate for a moment. The Stellaron hunter is quickly taken by surprise when he feels your previously injured hand grab onto his wrist and drag him along behind you.
———
The planet you both are currently residing within is a metropolis filled with millions of stores. Maybe if you hadn’t dreamed in your sleep you could’ve gone shopping, too bad they’re all closed.
“You could always go when we’re done with the script.” His deep voice breaks your train of thought as you look down at the tiny lights. You don’t look at him but a quiet “mm” is all he needs to hear to know you heard him.
“By the time we’re done, the city will be in shambles, I don’t think that’ll work.” It’s sad really, looking down at the little glowing wisps reminds you that there are people who live here, not just people, animals, and robots, all with their own lives.
“I didn’t say you had to buy anything.” Sometimes though, not all those lives are worthy of happiness.
“Are you implying we should steal during the aftermath?” You don’t hear the silent steps walking towards the two of you, too absorbed in your conversation with the one your coworkers describe as your “bodyguard”.
“I could do it for you.” They’re close, close enough to hear the words you speak to the man.
“Would you really? I thought you were the type to not stray from the script.” You finally turn around to face him, despite the solemn mood, a slight smile can be seen from your lips a teasing demeanor exuding from your mask. Your body leans on the railing, Blade's eyes occasionally shifting to where you stand, you take it he’s worried you’ll fall.
“I am. I’m following it. Elio says I’m to “make [Name] enjoy the planet”.”
“Oh? So you’re only doing it cause you have to?” Your body lifts from where you once leaned, his own staying unmoved as you advance toward him.
“No, I would’ve done it either way.” Your smile widens a little more, his words are simple but it’s nice to know he’d do something like that for you unprompted. 
The way your face exudes such a warm expression doesn’t go unnoticed, going from a formerly teasing to a more heartfelt look, making his mouth almost quirk up. Almost. As he stares, his mind is taking at least 5 mental pictures to not forget the look on your face.
Perhaps he’ll use it in the future whenever his mara needs quenching. Who’s he kidding, it’s not perhaps, it’s for certain that he’ll use it.
“Would you buy-- or rather, steal me a drink 'cause you want to?“ your finger lifts causing the man's attention to shift, looking at the vending machine in the far distance filled with different juices and beverages. He can feel you gently open his palm, placing credits in his hand. He doesn’t say words but nods his head, turning to walk towards the machine. 
A machine that was quite the stretch away from you.  
Your head turns to look at the pretty lights at the city below, unsuspecting of the person hidden behind you. 
A crunch sounds out through the air, your body immediately spinning to see the figure hurling towards you, the glint of steel highlighting the weapon in their hand. 
Clash of Blades continue to spiral out in the space until you’ve successfully pinned them to the railing, their body leaned over the fence, a small edge laid on their throat. Right there, in your hands, is the chance to leave your history behind in the dust. But, your hand can’t help but tremble. Your knees are weak too, despite it, your hand continues to press deeper, blood drawing from the wound. 
“Take me, as much as you need. All of it if you have to.“
“is that it?“ a sadistic laugh escaped from the depths of their throat. The cold feeling of a sharp point is directed in your stomach. “I’m fine with you coming back if that’s what you want-“ 
“... I don’t need it. So have it.“
The figure is shoved to the side, their head making contact with the floor, the weapon in your hand unmoving from its place as you look down to where their body lies. They’re still alive, the harsh breathing of their crumpled form on the floor is enough to tell you. A hand intertwines with your own, the familiar touch reminding you of the events from yesterday. 
Blade's hand is warm as he holds your fingers in his, the reds in his eyes looking down at you. 
“...“ 
For a moment, your eyes make contact, keeping a steady connection. The light from the city accentuates his looks, the expression on his face pensive, yet still pretty at the same time. 
“I’ll leave the… ‘sinning’, to you then.“
Slowly, your grip on the handle loosens, the only thing keeping your hold on the weapon being Blade's hands clinging to yours. 
“Blade… Please–“ Your head is turned down, the gentle tilt of his hand making you look at the floor. The knife is finally released from your possession, your eyes not looking up to meet him at the trade. From the edge of your vision, you can see Blade shrug off his outerwear, hanging the piece of clothing on your head, further sheltering you from the gruesome sight soon to come. 
The smell of Citrus and Herbal tea invades your nostrils, both comforting and horrifying. But, the scent is enough to distract you from the harsh sound of a knife swinging and the wheezing that accompanies it. A few quick jabs and the sound of breathing slowly dissipates. 
Even then, Blade's attack on the body does not stop, he keeps going until he can discern the sound of heavy breathing being yours and not his own, finally breaking him out of his trance and allowing him to turn back to you. 
Your hands slowly begin to lift the jacket from your person before swift footsteps halt your actions, quickly tugging the fabric back down. 
“Not yet.” 
He’s quick to take you by the waist, the pungency of iron breaching the protective layer of cloth between you and him. It isn’t until minutes pass does he delicately lifts the jacket off your head and rests it on your shoulders. 
The sight, it’s one you’ve seen dozens of times on him, deep scarlet liquid splattered and smeared on his body, hollow eyes, sullied clothes with fresh blood on his soft hair. 
You continue clinging onto his jacket. Looking at him, but not at him. The barrier serving as a blockade for the beast in front of you. 
Neither of you speak, only listening to the sounds of the sleeping city as you indulge in one another. His mouth leans towards his bloodied glove, the teeth behind his lips revealing themself and serving as a removal for the piece of fabric. 
He reaches for your hand, the scars on his skin evident as you allow him to place your palm on your chest. 
“You’re alive [Name].” He’s right, the beating in your chest is proof of that fact. But so what? “You’re alive in the same way that I’m dead.” What? The look he holds in his eyes is empty, not giving you any telltale sign of what he means. 
“But even then, what would the living know about the words of the dead.” A quote from Kafka that she had restated is all you can remember in your mind. His grip on your hand doesn’t relent for a moment, only pointing his head in the direction of the city, signaling you to turn around and see. 
The once-slumbering city has now awoken. A beautiful sight that will eventually fall despite the morning's hope. 
A ding sounds from Blade's phone. 
Kafka 🕸️: Are you ready dears? 
---
This took way longer to finish than I wanted it to
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tallgirl14 · 2 days
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Chilchuck angst
I love this lil middle age man but i aslo live for angst so her are few my ideas because I need tell someone and if you have angst dm me we can talk about it
He carries a wallet size family portrait (when his girls were little) with him when he goes down in a dungeon, and he looks at it when he miss them. ( I feel like photos are probably pretty 💰💰 so they only had few consist wedding photo, baby photo mayjack she's fist born, then one of the whole family ) and this photo is chaotic and It makes him smile.
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This is the ONLY photo he has of his entire family and he hasent seen them in few years with his kids grown living there own lives and him and his wife are split this photos all he's got.
How far would this man go for this picture. I can see chilchuck getting badly hurt because he went back to grab it and as Marcille is lecturing him about his reckless action as she's healing him.
Marcille: "What could have been so important that you risk your life over??"
Chilchuck: "my family or what's left of it"
He shows her the photo and marcille feels her heart drop she finally got to learn something about him and its sad ( this miscommunication leads to his group to believe chil family is dead )
Chilchuck taught Mayjack how to pick locks, and in the manga, he says when he dies, if they need someone, she'd be their first choice. SO he obviously took her through dungeon showing her how to navigate because being locksmith in a shop vs. dungeon is night & day different, dungeon being high pace environment.
Could you imagine how traumatizing that would be if saw her dad die in front of her AND NOT KNOW THEY COULD BE REVIVED!! (Seeing anyone die would be scaring) Especially if she felt it was her fault.
At first, Mayjack was curious about going into a dungeon with her dad to see exactly what he does she rember as kid seeing him come home late tired excused but mostly worn down.
Whenever she asked him about his work as a kid he was always vague or if he did talk about it was pg version and normally he was just trying scare us about going into dungeon. BUT one thing he made very clear, he didn't want any of her or her sister near the dungeon, but now that she's an adult, he couldn't stop her.
" I still don't want you near the dungeon, but you are a skilled locksmith, so you would be valued and well paid. IF you're still interested, I'll have you shadow me on my next small job so you can see what it's like."
At first, it was like any job we met with the client went over to the terms dad took payment, and then we headed over to the dungeon. I was awestruck by the new environment, but it quickly became overstimulating it took me a moment to adjust. the first few levels, dad had pointed out things to avoid what were scams & how to detect traps and walked me through a few I felt confident. Most importantly, when talking jobs, always have a skilled healer. Now I realize why as we enter new room dad was working on trap I was observing the room when I noticed treasure chest peaking out corner not knowing it was a mimick.
Chilchuck was Halfway through picking his lock when his dad sense went off. He quickly looked around room and spotted may messing with mimick
Chilchuck: "MAYJACK TIMS! get away from that!!" He starts running towards her
May turned to look at her dad, confused " why I already unlocked it?"
Her body stiffened as she could feel presents inside the chest, but before mimick could attach, chilchuck pushed her out of the way taking damage as it jabbed one of its claws through his neck causing him to bleed everywhere all mayjack could do was watch in horror paralyzed with fear trying process what happened. One of group members took care of mimick while she scrambled to her feet to get to here dad trying to put pressure on his wound tears flooding out
"Nonononno im sorry I'm sorry 🥺 "
As chilchuck lay there dying, he was more concerned with the fact he could comfort his daughter. This wasn't how he wanted to see death for the first time. Afterwards, the healer from their group came over and assured her he was going to be fine as she worked on reviving him.
Chilchuck let out a gasp and cough out some blood that had remained stuck in his throat. He turns to mayjack " that's why I told you to stay near me..." He moves toward her noticing her hands are strained with his blood. " are you hurt?... may? "
She shakes her head, and tears start to fall down her face he pulls her in for a hug. " it's ok, I'm ok ... I'm right here. " she hugs him tight, and they stay in that embrace for a while. When they finally break the hug, chilchuck wipes tears from her face.
" im sorry you saw that... do you want to go home.? "
" but the job?"
Chilchuck shakes his head " don't worry about it I brought someone along for that exact reason"
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artsyannierose · 1 day
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Huskerdust:
Angel and Husk’s love language?
What would they describe as their perfect date?
Who made the first move?
Who is more sentimental?
Who falls asleep first?
Who is more more relaxed/carefree?
Who is always cold?
Who worries more?
What are some non-sexual activities they do together?
What are some things they don’t agree on?
What’s their individual flirting style?
Which member steals borrows the other ones clothing?
Who is the cuddle initiator?
Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?
Who gives piggy back rides to the other?
Who fell in love first?
IM SORRY I CANT DRAW ALL OF THIS I JUST DONT HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME BUT IM JUST GONNA SCRIBBLE MY THOUGHTS DOWN IF THATS OKAY
1) Love Language - Words of Affection
Honestly Physical Touch was running my mind at first but like that’s just so casual for them. That’s like their thing you know, coming home and just flopping down on the bed together.
sleepy snuggles <333
So then if they wanna actually get through to each other im sure they won’t skimp out words of affection and affirmation, plus im an absolute sucker for them speaking in Italian to each other I NEEEEEDDD THAT IN CANON
Also im a slut for the pet namEs plspls THEY ALREADY LITERALLY CALL EACH OTHER “BABY” GUYS THATS NOT VERY PLATONIC OF YOU 🤨 🤨
That remind of this one post like “Husk and Angel call each other ‘baby’ and no one knows whether its romantic or platonic (they don’t know either)” cuz thats so them
2) Perfect Date - Alone Time
Call me basic but I promise you neither of them want a grand extravagant fancy date at a restaurant or something (not that they wouldn’t i can totally see them dressing up for each other and going out) but i feel like their ideal date is just. Each other.
Also i am a SLUT for a date where Husk carries Angel around and the fly over the ring while probably singing some cheesy romantic song like I See the Light i want that. Pls. (Obviously I’m a huge Tangled fan)
3) First Move - Husk
This isn’t anything new but like it’s just in character for Angel to worry about messing something up somehow and would probably flirt with Husk but freak out once it got serious. He probably doesn’t wanna replay that night in Episode 4 where he overstepped Husk’s boundaries so like I’ll bet Husk asks to kiss him first. That’s not to say that both of them are not awkward asf around each other
LET THE OLD MEN ACT LIKE TEENAGE GIRLS IN LOVE 🗣️ 🗣️
4) Sentimental - Angel
Mostly cause he hasn’t had any sort of proper relationship and the one that had any sort of promising future quickly turned into a living hell (f u Valentino). Bro doesn’t know what a healthy relationship is supposed to even look like
So whenever Husk does little, pretty normal things, like wipe his tears or get him some cheap makeup that reminded him of Angel, Angel would turn into jelly, like a water balloon ready to burst honestly.
5) Falling Asleep - UMMM I WANNA SAY HUSK
I feel like it REALLY depends on the day’s events
But i headcanon that Angel has insomnia (perhaps im self-projecting idk shhhh) so only Husk’s purring can help him sleep well. So I think Husk is just the type to like, crash after he flops in bed cuddled up with Angel
6) Relaxed - Angel
Idk this is just in character, Angel’s a party boy for one. Husk would rather chill at the hotel
7) Cold - Angel
Hmmm this just feels right to me. That he wants to cuddle up in Husk’s warm embrace
Besides bro’s literally built like a stick. And wears slutty clothes why wouldn’t he be cold
8) Worries More - Husk
They both worry about each other okay they’re both in dangerous and very unfortunate situations but like Angel gets stuck at work hours upon hours straight yk
Husk never knows when he’ll be home so he gets worried when Angel’s been gone without at least texting him something cause we know the kind of crap Valentino pulls
9) Non-sexual Activities
Cuddling. Self Explanatory.
I WANTTTT HUSK TO FLY AROUND THE PENTAGRAM WITH ANGEL IN HIS ARMS SO BAD. CAN THAT JUST BE A NIGHTLY THING FOR THEM. LIKE A NIGHT WALK BUT HUSK CAN FLY
Angel grooming Husk’s wings anyone?? I want. Pls.
10) Disagreements
Never really thought of that
I feel like Husk doesn’t believe he can get redeemed while Angel is slowly believing that redemption is possible. Both eventually believe Angel can get redeemed but Angel is convinced that if he can get redeemed so can Husk. Husk though, he's full of self loathing and no faith sooooooo yeah
11) Flirting Style
Angel - Words. For sure. He’ll never skimp out on reminding Husk just how sexy that kitty is
Husk - Physical. SORRY IM SUCH A SLUT FOR HUSK TEASING ANGEL AND TURNING THE. ANGEL. DUST. INTO A FLUSTERED BEGGING MESS. LIKE I NEEEEEED THAT
12) Clothing - Angel
considering husk doesn’t wear anything but pants….and angels clothes would NOT fit him I promise
(They def had a night where Angel shoved husk into all his outfits)
Angel would buy matching tshirts I promise you that
anyway I feel like he’d steal clothes more yuh but tbh I don’t think he’d fit into it💀💀
HE WOULD STEAL THAT FUCK MONDAYS MUG THO
HE ABSOLUTELY WOULD
HUSK WOULD BE LOOKING ALL OVER FOR IT AND ANGEL’S JUST IN BED LIKE “teehee”
13) Cuddle Initiator - HUSKKK
DONT GET ME WRONG ANGEL DEF INITIATES SOMETIMES BUT I WANNA IMAGINE HUSK JUST BEING SO HAPPY TO FINAAALLLYY CUDDLE ANGEL AFTER A SHOWER FROM A LONG DAY OF WORK
Husk loves the way Angel is at complete peace and relaxation once he falls into Husk’s arms, like a limp noodle istg
of course Angel feels like it’s heaven and prolly passes out pretty quickly
besides ain’t it canon that husk likes cuddling
GIVE THE OLD MAN SOME CUDDLES 🗣️🗣️🗣️
14) Staying up Late
Tbh this could go either way bc Angel comes home late from work anyway
and I’m sure there are days Husk comes late from errands from Alastor
if we’re talking pure personalities tho Husk would be up doing smth while Angel being the drama queen he is would be moaning and whining in bed like “cOooME hErE iMM sOoOOo LoNELy aNd inComPLeTe WiTHouT yOuuUUuU”
15) Piggy Back Rides - Husk
Nobody argue with me Angel just bounces onto Husk at random times and demands he carry him around
ALTHOUGHHHH A SWITCH WOULD BE FUN YK ANGEL BEGS BEGS BEGS HUSK IF HE’LL LET HIM GIVE HIM A PIGGY BACK RIDE AND OF COURSE HUSK CAN’T SAY NO SO HE OBLIGES
16) Who fell in Love?
OHHHHH DONT GET ME STARTS ON THIS
DONT….
ITS CAUSE I COULD TALK SO LONG OF THEM FALLING IN LOVEEEEE
Ill try to shorten it but BASICALLY Angel definitely was lusting after Husk (and i am convinced that Angel has a thing for men with deep sexy voices and Husk has the deepest and sexiest voice hes ever heard so he was smitten) from the moment Alastor teleported him into the hotel, and kept trying to hit on him. However after episode 4, Angel began to see Husk as a person rather than someone he needed to win over or someone who was just playing hard to get.
Husk on the other hand was first disgusted and annoyed by Angel’s tendencies, and he even thought he understood him without Angel ever opening up to him. After ep 4 however he also starting wanting to actually get to know Angel as a person. I wanna say cheesy stuff like Angel fell first but Husk fell harder…but I don’t believe that the case
They both fell for each other equally hard and both are absolutely smitten with the other bro…it took them a sec to get to know each other but they are in it deep now. Angel is absolutely in love with Husk and desperately wants to remind him that he doesn’t have to go through his trauma with Alastor alone, and he wants Husk to learn his self-worth and he won’t shut up about it. Husk loves Anthony through and through, and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Angel Dust. It’s just certain aspects of Angel are horrendously fake that Husk cannot stand, but he still loves all parts of Angel Dust. Angel has a little easier time opening up to Husk than vice versa but that doesn’t mean it comes easy. So Husk also wants to make sure that Angel feels loved and he feels like he's worth more than everything Valentino tells him. And he wants Angel to feel like he has control over his life, not that hes only good for being used up (gosh im thinking about Paranoid DJ’s Use Me Up i LOVEEE THAT SONG)
And we all agree angel has self-worth issues right
Anyways its been like a week since i got this ask so ill shut up now
I HOPE THIS SUFFICES ANON IM SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG AND I DONT EVEN HAVE ANY DOODLES BUT IVE BEEN REAAALLLY BUSY
AND I GOT AN ASK ABT HUMAN HUSKERDUST SO I GOTTA DO THAT
BYEBYE <333
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dashiellqvverty · 2 years
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idk man its harder to be like “haha petekey fun” these days knowing that the actual relationship pete was in at the time was with a fucking teenager
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puppyeared · 8 months
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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itty-bitty-sunshine · 3 months
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I know this is random but reading your blog and seeing your art made me so motivated I made my 1st animation ever (not counting pixel art ones), after not drawing digitally in months and it looks kinda basic and it isn't colored but I made it and I'm really happy with it so I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for motivating me to make digital art again! I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)
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MKJSJWJW HI!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME THATS GREAT!!! Animatics need time and patience so the fact you went straight for it is so cool!!!! I bet it looks lovely!
Hope you have the greatest day/night too!
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surreal-duck · 3 months
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been in kinda a weird spot regards to my own art lately where nothing seems good enough or i feel like ive been on a downhill streak that ive barely touched my tablet since the year started except when its school related..,...., probably burnout from an entire year interning for animation and concept work i feel a bit lacking and falling behind wjhdhfjehd
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eyedove · 7 months
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does anybody have tips on overcoming rejection sensitive dysphoria. it is so bad i cant even play games right because if the video game tells me i made a decision that was not even objectively wrong but non-optimal i freak out and close it and cant come back to it for days. this has always been an issue in my general life at large but good fuckin lord. im tired of feeling like this.
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sydmarch · 1 month
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might have a mutual breakup with my therapist tomorrow sigh
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sierracat1103 · 11 months
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Gosh I love welcome home so much. There's so much detail and creativity and love put into its insane. The art for it is so amazing and so appealing and pretty, It's so so so cool. The new update is so cool and creative and interesting!! I can't wait to see what happens in the future it's gonna be so interesting and fun :)!
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wutheringmights · 4 months
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#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life#woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour#i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom#i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess#earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like#2 weeks straight#i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house#i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you#i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control#fucking sucks man#i hate ibs#in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work?#ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick.#it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school#while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick#but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then#but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off#and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh#this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person
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theygender · 1 year
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Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations
#rambling#i love matilda so much. its such an important story to me. its literally just an abused childs power fantasy#where she gets to get back at the people who hurt her and protect other kids and then get a new loving family and everything is alright#my gf and i just watched the movie adaptation of the musical and we have Opinions on it. some good and some bad#so weve been discussing it and analyzing different parts of it#and its kinda nice to get to use my history for something good#to be able to give thoughtful analysis on how the changes they made in this adaptation have changed the allegory for abuse in the story#from the perspective of someone who grew up with that#and to just. have that be normal. my gf knows my history and its not gonna stop the conversation if i say#'this change works well for trunchbull's character bc it makes her seem more like a real life abuser'#'this detail is very subtle but it really captures some tiny part of the experience of growing up with an abuser'#'i dont like this bc it detracts from the narrative of the main character feeling alone and makes it less relatable to abused kids'#'i dont like this because while it IS something that happens under abuse it detracts from the fantasy where the kids all win together'#idk. of course everything that happened to me as a kid was awful and should not have happened but like#for a long time i had this problem where i didnt know how i was ever supposed to be okay about that#like no matter how much therapy i go through it will never UN-happen. it will always still have happened and it will always have been awful#and i couldnt figure out how i was supposed to recover from that besides 'bury it and try your hardest to never ever think about it'#and. i think maybe this is it. yes the abuse i went through was awful. thats kind of the whole thing about abuse#but. its also just a fact of my life. im better NOW. but that will not change what happened then#the abuse was awful. but the fact that i am an abuse survivor is a neutral fact. the same as any other fact from my childhood#its just a fact. a part of my past. and maybe being able to talk about it that way is... good for me#i dont have to break down when i think about it bc im okay now. my partner doesnt need to stop me and express sorrow for me bc im okay now#i can talk about my past in a neutral way and use my life experience to analyze movies#the same way that i used my experience of growing up in arkansas to analyze hollywood hillbillies when we watched it together#theyre both just two facts of my life. and analyzing movies is fun#that woman has no power over me anymore and hasnt for many many years. im okay now#abuse mention#child abuse mention#request to tag
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lesbiacnh · 5 months
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omg i get a little stressed and to cope i end up playing esthetician until 130 am and go to bed feeling worse than before. and like id pluck every leg hair out but haven’t brushed my teeth yet. and after that my skin gets soo bad and im like whattttt why is this uappening.
#text#the past couple of months have been crayzeeeeeee but now things are cslm. but im still 🫨🫨🫨 mentally bc im not in a good routine or anything#it always starts bc im like ‘i need to take better care of myself’ and then ends badly. lol#tiktok ‘everything shower’ joke kinda made me get back into the strange habit of doing the absolute bare minimum + doing everything in one#night and feeling worse. instead of like having a more consistent routine#rly i need to start working out again. it helps me regulate things bc i like to plan ahead lol#im on anxiety meds now so im gonna TRYYYYYY to help myself by getting in a better routine#AND BY THAT. i mean SLOWLY bc ive gone through this cycle before and and starting things all on the same day is a variant of this.#and i gotta get off my phone. my neck fucking hurts from sitting weird and scrolling too long#tiny bit cringy to admit but i want to find a stim toy that i could do the same scroll motion on. if that makes sense#like a smooth peice of metal or something. maybe i’ll buy a little keychain and see if that could replace the motion while im chillin doing#something else#SORRY if anyone does read this usually i reread my posts to make sure im coherent before posting but its 140 something am and im high again#ALSO 2024 resolution im done being high on most week nights. i need to calm down w it#ok last thing bc this is funny#phoebe bridgers song came on while i was driving home and the one lyric was like im not afraid of going back to school…….#and it hit me in that exact moment bc I AMMMMMM AFRAID TO go back to school but im not‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ it’s fine‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i am not gonna#ok goodnight. i brushed my teeth#sabotage this.
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arcaneyouth · 11 months
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god i fucking hope this rover thing pays off.
#vent post#negative#i need money so bad its killing me#i have taken out a couple hundred from my savings. because i never know if i have enough money for something (i dont. ever.)#so. goodbye to my moving out funds. if rover doesnt pay off im. so. fucked.#would be easier if i could just get a fucking job wouldnt it!!! but its been like 2 years and still i have not had anyone just#walk me through the process of how that works#they just tell me 'you just apply online' and dont explain what that means and dont show me how to do it#they dont tell me how to do an interview they just assume i know how this works and i dont and i keep trying to make that clear and no one#fucking helps me#i only last week learned youre supposed to ask the interviewer questions and that you can do interviews at like. coffee shops#i have 0 fucking job experience and it is Killing Me!!!!!!!!!#i hate money!!!! i hate trying to get money in this world that wasnt built for me!!!!!! my fucking anxiety and my autism hates this!!!!!!!#not to mention im still terrified of leaving the house which is only fixed by leaving the house but i have no reason to leave the house#so i dont and i stay scared and i dont think about jobs i cant do at home and thats even worse for reasons i cant explain#i still dont know how taxes work and when thats going to be a thing i have to get a crash course on#and while im fucking trying and failing over and over to just take the first steps i have to spend money to live#money i dont fucking have#money i. do have. but thats money ive been saving since i was a kid so i could have a good start for moving out#and ive transferred 1000 of it to my card in the last few months alone.#if i dont get some solid cash from rover im just. stuck again. stuck in this stupid loop ive been in for years#i started trying to move out at the end of 2020.#ive made no progress.#.....i guess ive made a little progress. i can drive now. thats. pretty important.#and i did download rover#and other than one dumbass thing my accounts pretty much ready to go#and itll get me out of the house more and I'll get used to that more and maybe just stepping outside wont be a nightmare anymore#uhg. lays face down on the floor.
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matchandelure · 1 year
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fhjmsdfhjglks feeling kind of frustrated at a lot of things
#sometiems i feel that maybe i set goals that are too ambitious#good grades in classes. internship prep. learning how to be independant and do adult stuff in general#working out regularly eating balanced meals getting enough sleep every night taking care of skin. overlall physical wellbeing#while also trying to make time for hobbies especially art...#ive been sucked into a rather strong loop of comparison.. bc i recentl ylooked through my old art when i went back home#and im so sad at how little ive improved. and i know that everyone learns and imrpoves at different rates#and i have more important things to focus on such as completeing this degree completely unrelated to art#but i dont want to go through the nexxt five years just.not improving at all at something i love so much :((#but everyday this past almost two terms of school. i never finish the work i need to before i go to sleep#everytime i do finish everything its time to repeat the whole cycle all over again#and whne i do get time to draw im so tired that all i can amnage are some scribbles..which means my technical skills arent improving atall#bc i dont have the energy to study even ifi its something i love#which iguess ispart terrible self discipline which i need to work on but sometimes i just wnat to shut my brain off and doodle mindlessly#bc i dislike my program :((( eww math ewwwww compsci#and i want a distraction from it whenever possible because if i have to calculate the eigenspace corresponding to an eigenvalue of a matrix#one more time i am going to cry#im tired gnight#willows rambling branch
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