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infjammin · 4 years

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Mexico

This is my first published work! A Spencer Reid x Reader oneshot. The team travels to Mexico for a mush needed vacation from the bureau. Will profiling skills be enough to keep an agent safe?

The music reached the ears of those outside the club. Loud and drunken shouts accompanied the upbeat club music as the two girls entered.

Prentiss found Morgan as soon as she walked in. Offering her a drink, she downed it in under a minute, no doubt it’d be the first of many for them that night.

Walking to the bar, I ordered a virgin Shirley temple, I had already been drunk that day and had decided long ago to play it safe. I smiled at Emily and Morgan, watching them line up the salt and limes on the table. Drinking the sweet and syrupy drink, I felt a hand slowly creep around the small of my back. Goosebumps lined my arms as I immediately turned around to see who violated my personal space. A sly grin dripping with underlying intentions rested on the face of Rick. His unwelcome attention had been directed towards Prentiss and I all weekend, and his lingering hand was just one of the many attempts. A vacation can only last so long, I guess.

“Hey baby, I didn’t see you at the pool earlier today. Where were you?” A smile protruded, slowly creeping up his face as he took me in.

“I didn’t feel so well, I had a few too many drinks,” I laughed uncomfortably hoping he would sense my tone and leave. Emily looked up from a shot and raised an eyebrow.

“Well, here’s another one, maybe this will loosen you up a bit, huh?”

His breath reeked of Fireball and was hot on my face. I backed against the seat of my chair as I gave Emily a reassuring nod while she walked with Morgan to dance.

“No thanks, I’ve gotta find my friend.”

I slid out of my barstool and made my way through the crowd to meet Prentiss on the dancefloor.

The lights and the music overwhelmed my senses, but I absorbed it all. This was the only time I would get to be in Mexico and I wasn’t going to waste it. The unit had been overwhelmed with cases the past few months and this two-week vacation couldn’t have come at a better time. With the Reaper going MIA, the bureau thought it best to take some time away from the case.

I instinctively looked around and saw Spencer at the bar. I froze and couldn’t help but admire

the way in which he held himself- slight hesitancy behind the charming demeanor he bore. His easy eyes and soft smile could make any girl speechless and giddy.

He turned just in time to see me staring, lifting his hand to wave. I caught myself smiling and forced myself to wave back before I did anything stupid. I threw myself back into the rhythm laughing carelessly with Emily.

Time flew by as the music began to blend together in the seamless rhythm of motion. A tap on my shoulder from a bartender told me the boy at the bar sent a Shirley Temple over. I glanced back to see Spencer as he scanned the crowd locking eyes with me. He quickly looked down and turned around. I accepted the drink happily as Emily hit my arm.

“Looks like pretty boy is more upfront than we thought huh?”

We giggled as I kept dancing with my drink in hand.

The room began to melt into a kaleidoscope of color as the music seemed to pound the sides of my skull. I stopped for a moment to clear my head, hoping to shake off whatever vertigo I might have gotten from the ocean that day. Walking over to the bar in hopes of ordering a water, Spencer came over and gently placed his hand right below my shoulder.

“Are you okay? You seem a little woozy”, his eyes flooded with concern, “here, come sit down for a minute okay?”

Leading me to a chair on the outskirts of the dance floor, he sat me down, bracing my shoulders while he crouched down to make eye contact with me. Even though the whole room was spinning, it didn’t take much to keep focus on him.

“I’m gonna get you a water okay?”

“Okay”

I smiled as he walked away but couldn’t shake the feeling that was starting to creep up on me and swallow my consciousness. Everything blurred into shapeless forms while my body felt as though it was made out of bricks and weights.

“Here, come on and we can get you in something more comfortable”

I felt a hand grab my arm and lead me to the exit of the club. Stumbling over my feet, I turned and saw Spencer leaving the bar with a water in hand. Confusion visible on my face as I tried to piece together who the man with such a strong hold on my arm was.

Who is taking me away from the bar? And who is taking me away from Spencer?

I noticed the arm had moved around me and clutched me close to their body, hard and with no room to escape. The abrasive cloth of a jacket met my skin as the metal zipper dug into my side. I looked up at the face, a complexion shrouded by shadows and street lamps.

“Let’s get you somewhere comfy baby”

My head swirled, thinking back to the drink from who I thought was Spence.

Rick never left the bar. I could feel his eyes boring into my back while Emily and I laughed and danced. He was there when I ordered my original Shirley temple and not Spencer. Oh my God, it wasn’t Spencer.

It wasn’t Spencer.

Panic flooded me as I tried to push myself away but found to have little to no strength against him. My hits held no power against his determined frame. I could barely speak without a weird slur obstructing anything I tried to say.

“Please let me go back to my friends”, I whimpered out.

His grip grew tighter as I tried to turn around to get someone, anyone’s attention.

I tried to dig my feet into the ground but wobbled over them instead. He was practically dragging me further and further away from the team, and closer and closer to who knows

what.

Panic and fear overtook my whole body; heavy breathing and frantic looking to find some way to break away from his hold.

“Please, please let me go back to my friends. I can give you money instead if you just let me go back.”

I knew money meant nothing to this man, I knew what his goal was back at the bar. I almost wished my skills as a profiler were that of when I first joined. It’d be better to not know who he was as he tore me away from my friends.

Tears dared to prick my eyes as I imagined what he was going to do to me, my mind filling with the horror stories of girls in clubs and foreign countries that other units in the bureau had dealt with.

I rolled my head to turn back to the bar. My head hung over my shoulder, hair blocking my view of what lay behind me. Figures emerged from the bar, doors slamming open into the warm breeze that drifted through the resort. I could hear them scream my name in panicked and frightful voices.

Were they real? Had I hoped so hard for some kind of miracle that it had somehow manifested behind me?

I tried so hard to break free of his grasp. I squirmed and wiggled with all the strength I had, yet still he held me firm against him. As Rick picked up his stride, my vision blurred to the point of muted colors as I faintly heard running towards Rick and me. My feet dragged behind me and I struggled to stay upright.

“Get off of her!”

I felt myself being pulled into someone’s arms as I fell to the ground. Familiar smells engulfed my senses, immediately providing me with some form of comfort.

“What the hell did you do to her?”

“Why were you dragging her out of the club?”

“Sure looks like you care about this whore-”

The black spots that had dotted my vision finally overtook it as the heavy darkness overwhelmed my body. The last thing I heard was a loud crack and a thud against the pavement.

My eyes fluttered open as bright light burned and blinded my vision. My head throbbed from the sudden sensory overload. Memories flooded back to me as my eyes widened with panic. I tried to sit up but was immediately met with hands pushing me back down. The blinding light obstructed those who held me down, resulting in a view of faceless figures.

“Get off of me!”

I felt my leg connect with what felt like ribs as I scratched my face.

“It’s okay! Please don’t hurt yourself. You’re safe, you’re okay.”

My eyes slowly adjusted to the room as I began to make out the faces of my team. Concern and worry all too apparent on their faces. Tears brimmed my eyes as I began to remember more from last night. Tears threatened to surface as I struggled to keep composure.

“What did he do to me? Oh my god what’d he do to me?”

“You’re okay, we caught him leaving with you before he could do anything to you”

Morgan gave me a smile and put a hand on my shoulder, “you’re going to feel a bit weird for a while, but we got a doctor in here to help you. He put you on an IV and some minor pain meds.”

I looked down as my fingers traced the unnoticed IV going into my arm. I noticed the bruises on my arm in the shape of fingers. The deep red and purple marks brought more tears to my eyes.

“He roofied me, didn’t he?”

“He did but we don’t know how, Hotch and Emily say they only saw you drinking one drink at the bar you ordered and the drink Reid sent over”

Reid turned towards Morgan confused, “I never sent her a drink.”

“But we both saw you-,” Emily retorted.

“No, I thought Spencer had sent me a drink, but I realized Rick did when he was dragging me

out.”

I paused for a moment, “What happened after I blacked out?”

Morgan spoke up saying, “Rossi found him dragging you out and we all ran after you. Reid and Hotch got you away from him while Emily tried to pick you up off the ground.”

I looked into Spencer’s face, the only one I really wanted to see, and thanked God for him. Concern clouded his face but a small hint of relief sparked in his eyes as he gave me a small reassuring smile.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

Emily leaned over me to my ear and whispered. “Reid left Rick with a broken nose and a swollen lip before Morgan had to pull him off.”

The door swung open, everyone’s heads turning to see who barged in with no warning.

“OH MY-what happened to my beautiful treasure?! Who did this to her?”

Garcia ran to the hospital bed, grabbing my cheeks as she inspected my face for any damage.

Plenty of damage here, babe.

Morgan grabbed Garcia’s arms, looking up at everyone.

“Why don’t we give her some time to rest? We’ll be right next door okay?”

Everyone stood up to exit before Spencer spoke up.

“Can we talk for a bit by ourselves?”

Hotch glanced at Morgan with a questioning look, which he met with a nod of approval.

“Sure, but make it quick okay?”

Reid nodded in understanding as he got up to sit on the bed next to me. The water in my hand rocked in waves in the cup as I tried to subside my shaking hands. I put it back down in defeat.

Not meeting Spencer’s eyes, I asked, “Can you hold it for me?”

“Yeah, of course.”

He slowly tipped the water up so I could take a small sip. It stung at first, but the water provided some relief and calm. He put the cup back down and lifted his eyes to meet mine. He might be an FBI agent, but there was nothing subtle about the way he scooted closer to me on the bed.

“How do you feel?”

“Well, a little nauseous and I have a really weird headache. My whole body feels heavy too…is your hand okay?”

He glanced down at his hand which had begun to bruise as well, quickly covering it up.

“My hand’s fine. I’m sorry I didn’t keep a better eye on you.”

“No Reid, it’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong last night. I promise. Besides, it’s not your job to watch over me.”

I grabbed his hands as I gave a reassuring laugh and gave them a squeeze.

“Why did you think the drink was from me?”

I looked down at my hands, mortified at the natural blush giving away my reasoning from last night.

“When I had looked over to the bar when I got the drink, you looked at me at the exact same time. And I thought that you were trying to flirt.”, I looked up in embarrassment to see his reaction. He met my gaze.

“Well to be honest, that’s not how I’d flirt with you.”

“I’m just glad y’all got me before he did anything. I thought I saw you as we walked out the door but I couldn’t yell to get you. I didn’t know whether I was imagining the help I wanted so badly.”

I cast my eyes down and clutched the sheets with such ferocity my knuckles turned white.

Violent sobs escaped me and my body shook as I tried to control my tears. I never showed this kind of emotion at work, my intensity helped me get through our cases.

I can��t break.

“Hey, don’t cry, okay?”, he shushed me as he crawled closer to me and held me. He rocked me as his hands ran gently through my hair. I buried myself into his chest as far as I could and tightened my fists around his shirt, trying to pull him closer than he already was. I found comfort in his warmth and heartbeat. I drew my legs into my body and tried as hard as I could to wrap myself up into a ball inside of his embrace.

Disappear. Just close it up and disappear like you know how.

Spencer pulled my face away from his tear ridden shirt to meet my eyes.

“I know you’re going to wall yourself away, I’ve seen you do it at work. You can’t shut down on us when you’re the one being hurt. You can’t do that okay? We are here as a team, and we’re leaving as a team. Don’t think for one second we’re going to let you isolate yourself.”

I hiccupped trying to hold back my tears. Spencer placed his hand on my face, using a thumb to wipe away my tears. He rubbed my cheek with his thumb and gave me a comforting smile.

“I’m here okay? I’m right here for you.”

I smiled through my mist of tears and rested my forehead on his. He clutched the hair on the back of my head as he moved to kiss my forehead.

We never had this kind of connection at work. Nothing this…intimate. We silently acknowledged our mutual admiration for each other, but never let it develop past that. We were both young in the bureau, we couldn’t compromise our reputations. But, as we held each other’s stare, I couldn’t help but wonder whether we couldn’t, or wouldn’t.

His eyes flicked briefly down to my lips and back up to my eyes searching for a response. We moved closer to each other, moving both his hands to my face and me balling his shirt in a fist.

The air hung around us in a silent curtain, shielding us from the worries that would be of concern when we left the room. But nothing seemed to matter as I held his intense gaze. Was it a moment of weakness or strength that finally pushed us to meet in the middle?

Our lips met, a connection born from built up tension and desire. As we deepened our kiss, I moved my hand to cup his face, entwining my fingers with his hair. His hand moved to the small of my back, pulling me closer into the heated embrace.

We pulled away, a sharp intake of breath calling us back into reality. But as we both ran through the multitudes of possibilities, I took his hand in mine and squeezed, giving him a small smile.

I can’t worry about what the future might hold when I have him right in front of me.

#spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #oneshot #criminal minds #spencer reid #fanfic

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moony-moons-world · 3 years

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A list of amazing musicians that isn't (sadly) more commonly known...

I: Steps Ahead - formed in 1979, ended semi in 1986, jazz, rock, r&b, fusion. Instrumental, swingy in a very relaxing way and positive!

II: Silly Wizard - A 1960/70's folk band - when I talk about folk - this is what I mean. They both sing in (Scottish) Gaelic and English. Their songs go from silly, happy and hyper to ballads and mourning. I genuinly wish I had been alive in the 70's to see them live.

III: L'arpeggiata - an essemble that plays a lot of different styles of classical music, with various colorations with other wonderful artists. No one in their right mind would call them dull. Family favourite.

IV: Forndom - A Norwegian musician. Viking music, one of my favorites. Everytime I get goosebumps. Best song: hemkomst (homecoming)

V: The Dolmen - an English group that make folk (see above) rock. Think Pink Floyd and Celts and you get a basic idea of what they do. Amazing vocals, songs that go about everything (pirates, war, love, prejudices etc) and they dare to go wild.

VI: Duke Elkington - think instrumental, jazz, blues, rock & roll, soul, and everything in between. There should be a Duke Ellington day, week and month. He was so important that he changed music for good. He even played for Queen Elizabeth.

VII: Eivør - a Faroesic/Icelandic singer/musician, Viking music mixed with techno/dubstep/electronic and a voice that is the best I have heard in many, many years.

VIII: Philip Glass - minimal music. He's the one to listen to. Mind, don't be in an impatient mood, because then it will be irritating, but otherwise it's the best. Koyaanisqatsi- a movie from 1982 - is one to watch to find out why this music is so amazing (it's successors Powaqqatsi (1988) and Naqoyqatsi (2002) are worth a look too).

IX: Magna Carta - a band from 1969. If you like poetry and music this is one to listen to. Lord of the ages is their most well known song. Just kisten and decide for yourself if you like them or not, because it's quite different and difficult to describe their style. It made me fall in love with poetry.

X: The Sidh- they are from Italy, they have mixed bagpipes, lowwhistles, and the like, with edm rhythms and electronic/dance/dubstep/techno. Excellent for going all out at parties and 'raving', you don't need drugs to go high with them.

XI: Adam Lambert - glam rock/rock the most top 40 artist in my favourite musicians list. Currently also working with Queen. His voice is flabbergasting and his lyrics are really relatable. It's always a kick to hear/see. Remember Fever? That's him. Remember Glee's starchild? Marry the night? That's him.

XII: Bronski Beat - a 80's band. New wave/punk/electronic. Small-town boy is their most well known song.

XIII: Clamavi De Profundis - this is an (vocal) essemble that sings (mostly) the songs from books as The Lord of the Rings (J. R. R. Tolkien) in full length and in an amazing way. But also different songs (their Christmas songs are cool). Song of the Lonely Mountain, they do it.

XIV: Supertramp - sure they are famous, but can we please talk about the fact they make ridiculous amazing songs and music? They are easy to listen to and when you actually really listen you realize how genius the lyrics are. Plus the singer (Rick Davies) has this voice I could listen to all the time.

XV: The Doors - yes also extremely well known. Heck Jim Morrison is one of the club of 27. But their music, if music was anything like sex this would be it. 'Riders on the storm', and 'the end' are well known, but 'People are strange,' never forget that one.

XVI: Pyrolysis - a Dutch folk band. Similar to Silly Wizard, but with a more current sound, and wider range of songs. Want to dance the Scottish? This is the band to do so.

XVII: Kila - an Irish folk/rock band. That's all I am going to say about them. Because that should be enough. :-)

XVIII: The Lumineers - Every now and then people post 'Academia' music lists, but hardly ever this group is among them. They should. It's relaxing, joyful, well done and poetic and by far one of my favorites to sing along with. Ophellia, Angela and Ho Hey are the most famous of their repertoire.

XIX: Postmodern Jukebox - Modern songs (and old ones) remade in postmodern music. Their videos are very good and an delight to watch. Just do it.

XX: Ramses Shaffy - a Dutch singer, sometimes in French, with really beautiful songs, lovely lyrics and he had this kind of voice that will calm you down immediately and fill you with hope. This. is. what. Dutch. music. should. be. like, like. all. the. bloody. Time.

That's all for today folks, see you next time.

(though feel free to ask new music ideas (or suggest them) if you want to :-D)

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acciostorian · 4 years

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mae reads the kane chronicles: the serpent’s shadow the red pyramid

(aka we see mae go through many emotions in the space of 2-3 days)

holy fuck ive only got to the contents and the chapters have those classic pjo click bait titles i’m so happy rn

WAIT IM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT- the serpent’s shadow is the THIRD BOOK. uh-oh i almost fucked this whole series over lemme change the book real quick....

i’m literally on the first page and i’ve already been sent on a mission, so the kanes are THOSE bitches

SADIE AND KANE ARE BRITISH???? omg yes please

THEYRE IN LONDON MY HOME

never fucking mind they’re from LA

oh wait sadie was raised as a british kid. that’s very sexy of her.

carter be like, “you wouldn’t be interested in my dad’s lectures.” SHUT UP CARTER I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT EGYPTIAN PUNISHMENT

so sadie was raised in east london???? THATS SO SEXC BECAUSE ME TOO BOO

sadie has a british accent. a b r i t i s h a c c e n t.

FIT

“six years in london and she thinks she’s james bond” LMAO

sadie’s so emo/alt i love it. does rick always write his characters like this??

sadie pronounces it “mum” and carter says “mom”

it’s so refreshing to read mum ngl

sadie said bloke omg

i’m feeling carter’s pain. little sisters are shits and honestly sadie has the same vibes as my little sister and me and carter are quite similar. i hate this.

oh wow they really said sadie was too white for their family...

sadie did not HESITATE to be like, “yeah dad we’ll lock that guy in his office. mint.”

sadie telling the story is an experience

sadie said “maths” and “mates” in the same sentence. this is some refreshing shit.

sadie’s friends saying carter is hot is fucking hilarious. like it’s a classic piss-off to thirst over your mate’s sibling

THEYRE GETTING DEPORTED????

LMAO AMOS WAS LIKE, “yeah we don’t talk about manhattan. they’ve got their own problems. *cough percy jackson cough*”

i read thoth the god of knowledge as thot the god of knowledge

carter is right, amos has undeniable swag

philip of macedonia. the crocodile. cool.

i love how the greeks and romans be like “if we don’t honour the gods we’ll get SLAUGHTERED” and the egyptians are like “you know what? fuck the gods me and my homies hate the gods”

sadie kane would stab you in a back alley and dance to mcr as you bled to death and carter kane would take you to a museum, tell you everything about everything and then commit a terrorist attack

amos really went “don’t touch anything, the cats in charge and peace out bitches” and then fucking jumped off the balcony of his five storey mansion

sadie made that door go BANG

that fucking clay statue came to life and not one of them screamed. I WOULD SHIT MYSELF.

i’m giggling, all the greek/roman gods have really long/scary/cool sounding names like tartarus and chaos and nyx but the evilest guy in egyptian myth is called set. S E T.

please make muffin some crazy badass animal like crookshanks or swiftwind.

WHO DARES THROW HANDS WITH PHILIP?????

THE SHABTI FUCKING STOLE AN ARTEFACT THATS AMAZING

i love carter sm, even tho he’s scared as fuck he still picked up that ancient sword and was like “ig i’ll bash some heads in whilst sadie holds the cat”

MUFFIN JUST TURNED INTO SOME WARRIOR CAT LADY AND SHE INSTANTLY GAVE ME CATRA VIBES

every cat in new york is helping them

bast jacked that car like it was nobody’s business

i used to think the greek gods were stupid for having so many things to control but honestly the egyptians are taking the piss, do you really need a whole scorpion goddess?

the kane siblings are written so well. like i actually BELIEVE they’re siblings

i think carters gonna become a comfort character now... like i relate on another level. little siblings always take the spot light and you have to act level headed and calm because the younger ones start shit and you’re like “i gotta be the good one because my family would fall to shit if i didn’t behave.” so big kudos to carter, i love you

so carter’s a king huh? I DIDNT NEED YOU TO TELL ME THAT RICK I ALREADY KNEW HE WAS

zia was like “king tut?? ugh he was such a boy, there were waaaaay cooler tombs out there x x”

i read “nectanebo II” as “nintendo II” and i was like ??? when was that a thing

i drinking camomile tea whilst reading this and i feel so peaceful uwu

sadie really can do magic like THAT like bitch be like “i just copied what zia did and yeah it worked lol”

okay so i’m sorta feeling bad about sadies life rn but i’m still very pro carter

set’s laugh makes me uncomfortable. because when most villains laugh it’s usually described like “their laugh was like a knife, cold and sharp. i hates it.” but when sadie discribed set’s laugh she was like “it was warm and friendly. beautiful.” LIKE AAAA THATS A RED LIGHT

set: the god of theatre because gods dam is he a good actor

sadie saw some hot emo guy and was like “omg marry me”

iskandar be like “lmao imma speak in alexandria greek all the time but this girl bouta die? i switch to perfect english for dramatic effect”

woooOooaaaah SLOW DOWN THERE BUDDY, tongue tattoos???

zia: you guys will probably suck at this at first but oh well we all can’t be great

sadie: *makes fire first time* wooosh

sadie and kane: *doing cool shit* me and my tea: sluuuurrrp

bast is so sassy i love it

me when it’s a sadie chapter: okay ig :/

me when it’s a carter chapter: HOLY SHIT CARTER HEY OMG YOURE DOING CRAZY STUFF???? COOL. i love you.

bast: so yeah, you’d be stupid to teleport to paris, this is desjardin’s home territory

sadie and kane, lying in the streets of paris: oh cool cool

sadie: like i might die rn but i don’t care, as long as it doesn’t get filmed and put in youtube, that would be embarrassing

like ???? sis get your priorities together smh

sadie: *sees hot emo guy again in her spirit adventure, he hints that’s he’s dead or something*

also sadie: so will i see you again?

“no, an egyptian drink. you’ve heard of hot chocolate? this is rather like hot vanilla.” dam now i want some.

carter is an amazing older brother. he’s written perfectly and he’s a great character to relate to for me. even though sadie can make his blood boil, he dropped everything to calm her down when she was panicking about not being able to change back from a bird. i too have to do that for my little sister - sadie and ava are ironically the same age - so i find that very comforting that there is someone like me to relate to!

‘a businessman with a rolling suitcase was waiting by the doors. his eyes widened when he saw me. i must’ve looked pretty strange — a tall black kid in dirty, ragged egyptian clothes, with a weird box tucked under one arm and a bird of prey perched on the other.

‘“how’s it going?” i said. “i’ll take the stairs.” he hurried off.’ LMAO THIS IS WHY CARTER BABY I LOVE YOU

highkey pissed that carters like “i’m always edgy around the police. once i turned eleven they started giving me the Look. when it doesn’t happen it’s always a pleasant surprise.” LIKE FUCK NO HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO WALK AROUND UNHASSLED WHATS WRONG WITH HIM

lmao bast be like “imma jump off this national monument. see ya at the airport in my finest clothes and jewellery x”

FOOD UPDATE: i’m eating a chocolate covered waffles and having some tea and i feel so happy rn sorry i know you don’t care but like aaaaaaa

bast called carter her little tomcat and my heart exploded

bast really likes convertibles huh

thoth: i hate rereading my old writing, my present self would never write like this now!! SOMEONE GET ME A RED PEN

are they... are they going to dig up elvis presley?

might put some elvis in for this part, y’know, to set the mood?

i cant stop reading ‘thoth’ as thot even though i know how to pronounce it

the captain with a axe for a head: my name is bloodstained battle axe 😸

yuh bast did some shit ...

imma stop now because spoilers, GO READ THE KANE CHRONICLES THEY ARE THE MOST UNDERRATED RIORDANVERSE BOOKS X X

#the kane chronicles #tkc #carter kane #sadie kane #tkc bast #mae waffles #rick riordan #riordanverse #did someone say queued?

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theythemsam · 5 years

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spn 11x13, liveblog, collected posts (all 17 of them) or as i like to call it: Sam made me cry like a baby in this one and I love him so much. Sam said fuck victim blaming and that’s why I love him. Best Episode Ever (the motw is not that great, the victim blaming witch is garbage too, but Sam and Dean’s final dialogue is *chefs kiss* finger lickin’ good)

Of course, the dad is cheating with the babysitter…

#yikes #i hate both of them tbh

Asdfgh that babysitter watches Rick and Morty

#asdfghj noice #ahhh it’s a wonderful trash fire #”what people call love is actually a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed” thank you for your wisdom grandpa

Dean is so drunk

#the wet soggy slurpy sock asdfgh ewww

“can’t help that I’m a hopeless romantic.” “you got half of that right.” Sam, please do roast your hungover brother more, he deserves it

Sam is so loooong

#just stretched out across the whole couch

The silver pen is so smart!!!

I forgot that Americans (or at least people in supernatural…) often have those weird things in their sinks. But can they seriously destroy a cat skull? Like for real?

#or is it the same thing with everybody in that show having big beautiful houses

So the kiss is just like It Follows?

#what is it with curse STDs? #also uh as selfless as Dean’s sacrifice was there if somebody did that to me I’d steal punch em in the face #not a fan of being touched without warning deffo not a fan of just being kissed #also hey @ writers as much I admire yall not wanting to bury your gays #but why are so many stories with that trope always just… filled with heteronis?

“What kind of FBI agents are you?” “The fake kind” asdfhkk

“The art of Dyeing” asdfgh I love that hair saloon

Dean’s first ever win at Rock Paper Scissors aww, he’s so happy!

That witch’s gonna give Sam a haircut :P

Amara as Dean’s darkest desire I Hate It

“I can see inside your heart, feel the love you feel, except… it’s cloaked in shame” ok gays, since I can and will read everything as HomosexualTM this is a frigging mood

#somebody: shameful love and repressed desires #my gay ass: Hi itsa me Queerio #also has somebody already done a transbian Dean reading of this scene bc uhhhhhh I wanna #i know its intended as uwu deans forbidden attraction to amara causes shes hot and evil and a mind controlling weirdo #but come on that’s boring #cishet readings are just mostly boring

How fun must all the punching have been for the actress?

#like so cool she just gets to punch a lot of things

“you seriously think the sister of God is my deepest, darkest desire?”

“She isn’t?”

“No, she can’t be.”

“Why not?”

“Why? Because if she was then that means I’m-“

“Means that you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?”

“For starters, yeah.”

“Dean, do you honestly think you ever had a choice in that matter? She’s the sister of God and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you, I’m not.”

#FUCK ME #yall know that I regularly say this show makes me cry? #well this one hit… way too hard #like it wasn’t a single dyke tear rolling down my cheek this time #im talking that wide eyed stream of tears where you cant breathe bc Oh Shit It Me #i kept pausing and going back to relisten bc it was… so much #like victim blaming is one of my biggest triggers bc I did it to me constantly #and to hear Dean do it to himself… fuck off that was painful #and then to have Sam there and reassure him that no it isn’t his fault #like… Oh Damn #that he isn’t gonna blame or judge him? #AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Dean getting to explain what he feels for Amara and to have complete understanding and a no-judgement zone is so beautiful

#he deserves to have that #sam is so great #I DESERVE THIS #i am in a lot of pain like emotionally but the good kind? #like the carthatic kind #like the… wow I needed to hear this like a couple of years back but even to hear it now when ive done the heavy lifting on my own trauma means so much #even if its not directed at me #to see trauma and forced attraction treated that way is giving me hope #like I still don’t trust the writers to treat it right #but this? This is a huge step in the right direction #and it means so much to me

#spn 11x13 #collections #this episode? definitely just got into the top 10 just for that dialogue at the end #cause it means... everything to me #sam liveblogs

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kronos-the-timelord · 5 years

Note

Lmao 1-100! Or maybe just 10 of your choice if that’s too many!

!!!!! thank,, sorry this took so long to answer,, i got school work and normal work

no I’m answering all of them bc ily

Spotify!! i got the student discount thingy

it’s messy, but i want to clean it 0n0

brown

yeah! it’s a family name (i had the same name as my great grandma, wasn’t name after her, it just happened)

been in a relationship for 1 and a half yrs, hes in England right now for school tho ;-;

extroverted introvert

brown! its got natural highlights of red and blonde tho so a lot of ppl ask if i got it dyed if im in different lighting

dark grey subaru crosstrek!! her names inko!!

the mall mostly,,, like american eagle and target

????? leggings???? and then I Could Murder You With A Single Look

tungl,,,, and i’ve been a twitter a little more (kronos-the-timelord if you’re interested in my what my 13 tweets are)

queen

yeah, and older brother,,,, he’s a lameo

Denver, Colorado or Pigeon Forge, Tennessee,,, its really pretty both places (i almost ended up going to college in denver)

i like the fall leaves ones

i;ve been using a lot of jeffery star eyeshadow and i have a few of his lipsticks but i also really like elf!

6-7,, i don’t like to feel gross

project runway

depends on the brand, but im generally an 11

5′6′’

SNEAKERS SNEAKERS SNEAKERS

HAHAHAH

going to a museum/park/zoo and then getting ice cream and cuddles

i dont carry cash

i was wearing grey and orange with gold polka dots before I took a shower

6 pillows and 6 blankets and then i have 3 plushies (the blankets count as pillows bc i say so)

yeah, i work at bath and body works and then sometimes i ‘volunteer’ (its nonprofit but i still get paid) at a bingo hall sometimes

i have some really close ones, but then i also have some from college or elsewhere that i don’t know too well but i still like being around

ummmmmmmm,,,, my memory is kinda shit so i dont really remember

while looking at my 30 unburned candles in my room, i think its just generally scents associated with the fall

Vladimir, Matthew, and Lucas

Sophia, jeanette, Sephia

Chris hemsworth/evans and Tom holland,,, I can’t pick a favorite out of these boys!!

Tessa Thompson/Lupita Nyong'o/Letitia Wright/Danai Gurira i love them!! they’re so great!!

umm, i can’t really think of one off the top of my head

i, really into Song of the Sea right now, but i really love any studio ghibli movie!!

i love reading! i love rick riordan series and the recivere of many series by @therkalexander !! she’s working on her new book right now and im so excited

why not both?????

maggie, dipshit, maggie moo, you know the normal ones, for a while my friends called me parky

once beside regular check ups, but i’ve been a hospital many times for other ppl and a shadowed my aunt for a day in 1st grade

I was an Island, SLUT, here, video games, you should see me in a crown, bury a friend, youngblood, blame, the dismemberment song, africa (covered by nsp)

yeah, sertraline, it’s for my pmdd

oily-normal

snakes

zero, but that might change (probably not)

its really short right now so whatever it looks like when i roll out of bed but when it was longer i would put in a bun

its a two story with 3 bedrooms

my mom

my mom and i yell ‘you’re amazing/sweet/wonderful/etc’ at eachother a lot

lol

i don;t remeber but my brother told his entire 1st grade class that he wasn’t real

i like teslas but i would take my subararu with me anywhere bc i love her

i hate the smell of it and not the biggest fan either

yep, nursing

an obstetric nurse! ive been telling ppl that since i was 3

i currently live in the suburban area (i can see downtown from my porch) and i like it here, its kind close to everything i need

why wouldn’t you??

yeah! i love them

i try

nope

HELL YEAH

wendy’s has better quality chicken but sometimes you just need those nasty bois

i dont really use too many now but if i had to get one bbq

a big tshirt or hoodie

i got 3rd place in one in 2nd grade (it was a super small one tho that was only for the 2nd graders at my school)

drawing, reading, writing, sleeping

i like to think that i can

i did for 3 years but then i realized i was terrible at it

does my high school’s band count?

tea

Starbucks but i like a good donut now and then

yeah

(ill go with boyf bc i got one) L K

idk, i like my last name

darker colors, but a bright pink looks nice too

@keencheckerboard @memeathon @vendingturtle ;n;

gotta be closed

yeah, enough weird stuff has happened to me and my mom that i just have to at this point

slow walkers

my mom

always down for mint chocolate chip

if it aint double stuff it doesn;t belong in my house

rainbow sprinkles bc its more fun

a 2XL sleep shirt

space!

an odd combo of both

!!!!!!!!!YES!!!!!!!!!!

yeah, but i dont like that one of them is letting a guy on house arrest stay at his place, like i get it, but i just get bad vibes from the guy

morning and night bc im oily

a frosty

“And when the earth is trembling on some new beginnin’With the same sweet shock of when Adam first came”

winter

night

dark chocolate

october and november

libra

i think my mom??? but i hate crying in front of ppl

#thank #you so kind

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winstonhcomedy · 6 years

Text

“Dope A-F” 1/9-1/10 “Tonight Shows and Bro Re Nata”

Sweet baby lord had two hot ones last night at two dope shows. Had a super fun night of standup at two of my favorite mics!

After work I headed over to Short Pump Town Center to get to The Funny Bone for the open mic hosted by Liz Carr. I was there super early so I decided to do a little shopping first. I picked up a new jacket at H&M. It’s a big puffy red, white, and blue jacket that has a real 90s ski movie vibe to it. I throw it on and then head to the candy shop right across from me. Where I proceed to spend 8 dollars on taffy because I am a toddler.

I do some writing in my car and head up to the club. When I get there comedian Brett Leake (5 Tonight Show appearances) is coming in the door. Brett is a comedian living with muscular dystrophy so he is not out at shows as often as he’d probably like. So it is always a treat to see and talk to him.

After Brett and I get signed up we have an absolutely wonderful conversation about comedy. I get to ask him questions about his Tonight Show appearances. He walked me through the entire process the first time he was selected, and everything that went into that set.

We then discussed the differences between comedy then and now. How when he started there was no real comedy about identity. Everybody just wanted jokes in the club and they wanted you to steer away from certain topics. He said that he wouldn’t talk about his MD too much on his first Tonight Show because they didn't want him to talk about it too much. Which is in stark contrast to comedy today. I really wish I had recorded this conversation because it was an invaluable discussion about standup.

Times like this are why I’m glad to be a comic. He talked to me like a peer and a friend and that was really special. If you ever have a chance to talk to Brett or see him live go do it. He now does a mix of comedy and motivational speaking and he is always fun to watch. Here is one of his appearances on morning radio.

youtube

We do the comics meeting and I notice there is a lot of newer comics here. I think other than Liz, Brett, Richard Woody and I no one on the list have been doing comedy longer than a year. I am also interested how shows like this are going to go. We then get the show rolling. Brett opens the show up and has a fine set. He is working out some material about numbers and some questions he has about a couple different religions.

We then get into a string of newer comics. I can’t really remember anything too much about many of them. There are a few who have taken Patrick Buhse’s class (and it’s always exciting to see these people out at mics actually continuing to do standup).

The show is going pretty well. Mu Cuzzo goes up right before me and he’s dressed up like he’s about to give a sermon. He has a hot set, and then it is my turn. I feel super good about my set. I worked on my new joke about witches and then riffed an idea about Trump not being the worst president. It got a laugh as well. I had a pretty good set and I’d give it a B-.

Rick went up later that night and ended up doing ok. He was doing new stuff, and people had left. He couldn’t really connect, but it happens. He stayed in the pocket and finished the set.

I then headed over to McCormacks to do some time. I get there and find out I am third and the show is about to start. There are a few comics that I hadn’t seen in a long time, and also a lot of newer comics as well. Looked like a good crowd and they seemed to be into comedy from the start. So as long as you could deliver you would be set.

I went third and I still heard a few hot takes about R.Kelly which is always fun. Nothing like newer comics taking a hot topic and beating it into the ground. I know that I could probably get some good material by focusing on what is in the news, but it just all feels so hacky right away since everyone is giving their take it is a deterrent. I need to get over this because some of my best jokes are about hot topics in the news, or news stories. It is a thing I am actively working on this year to get over that.

I go up after and have a super hot set. Everything works. I do my two brand new bits, and add a bunch of tags to a third. I got a bell ring from the bartender which was dope, and didn’t have a down moment in my set. It felt really good and one of the better sets I’ve had at McCormacks in a while. Just feels like proof that the hard work is paying off. I’d give this set an A-. After my set I grabbed my stuff and headed home. All in all not a bad night for comedy!!!

The next night was my night to host a showcase at Pro Re Nata Brewery in Crozet. JR Stoffel is the usual host of this show, but he is in Las Vegas for CES for his job. So he handed the reins over to me. I got to book a fun lineup (Rick Williams, Paige Campbell, and Richard Woody), had a guest spot (Alex Castagne) and Chris Alan headlining.

We had a pretty good crowd actually. I think at our peak we were at about 45+. Which is a solid number for a freezing cold day in Crozet. This show is continuing to grow and bring in business. JR has done a great job building the room.

I went up first and had a pretty good set. I did new jokes and some light crowd work. I basically just wrangled the crowd for 10 minutes and get them in the mood. A fine hosting set, but I didn’t kill. I”d give this set a C+.

After me was Alex. He did pretty well. He had some lulls and he wasn’t happy with his set, but from the outside looking in he held his own and had some jokes get some pretty big laughs.

Then Rick went up. He had a good set too. Most of his material worked and he actually got an applause break for a joke he has about kickball. He didn’t close crazy strong, but people definitely dug his set.

Richard Woody followed him with one of the strongest sets of the night. From beginning to end everything he did was working. He got some huge laughs and held crowd control for the duration. He did some material which included him reading his online dating interactions, and it did super well to close.

Paige Campbell had an uneven set. He’d hit really hard and then not get much. Which honestly seemed to be the theme for the entire night. Everybody would lose the crowd a little bit and then just get them back. They were enjoying the whole show but it was almost impossible to build momentum to really make them crack. No one did poorly, everyone did well and got laughs, but you felt like you could lose them at any second.

Lastly Chris went up and did 45 minutes. He was in his own head about it and didn’t seem to be enjoying his self. He was working out a lot of new material during this 45 minutes, and I was super impressed that he stuck with it even when it wouldn’t go anywhere. Then he would follow the lulls with a killer joke that would destroy. The audience could tell he wasn’t feeling it 100% but they stuck with him. I thought he had a good set, and a lot of his new material is super funny and is only going to get better. It was a solid ending to a super fun show. Chris is crazy critical of his self, and that’s what makes him a great comic.

After the show people came up and were super supportive and said they’d be back for the future ones. I think JR’s room is slowly turning into one of the better comedy rooms in the area and I can’t wait to see what he does with it next.

WHAT A HOT TWO DAY STRETCH FOR COMEDY! I will be at Cozzys tonight and tomorrow at 8! And Sunday at 8 I’ll be closing out the show at Hof Garden at 7. So come one and all. I love you laydees xoxoxo sugar!

#pro re nata #crozet #charlottesville #richmond #standup #jokes #funny bone #comedy club #trump #hilarious #improv #comedy

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rickstexaschick · 6 years

Text

The Citadel: City of Rickventures!

The was written as a part of challenge among of few of us Rick Smut Writers, to write what it would be like when Rick takes you to The Citadel for the first time.

Originally published on AO3 under rickdicted:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15708732/chapters/37148669

Now, I know that all y'all have been to The Citadel before, but not me.

Today was THE day, after so many months of me whining and pleading, bitching and moaning. My Rick was finally taking me to The Citadel. Ever since he first told me about it, my mind had played with all sorts of ideas of what it must be like to walk those streets, surrounded by people who all looked alike. What was it like for him, I'd asked on more than one occasion. What would it be like for me, I'd wondered to myself... I thought he was the hottest thing on 2 legs, hands down, so...

Honestly, I didn't know if I would be totally fucking turned on, or kind of bored by them all -- I highly doubted this last option, but something I must have said early on had made him rethink the whole idea.

He'd grumbled about it so much, immediately regretting his initial hasty agreement to think about it, back when I'd first asked. Ever since then he'd done everything he could to try to dissuade me, make me change my mind. He brought up Mortytown so much that now whenever he did just I rolled my eyes in boredom -- the last time he did I had asked him if he was afraid of a bunch of homeless Mortys, and that had pissed him right the fuck off...

He was even meaner than usual to his own Morty for awhile after that. Poor kid didn't know what he did wrong. I almost felt sorry for him.

Finally, we were on our way there.

"...Fucking sick of hearing your shit, you whining on and on about this..." He was grumbling in between sips from his flask as we rode along in his space car.

I ignored him and eagerly watched the stars and planets fly by in the distance. Occasionally I'd look down at the screen on his digital map, tracking our course across the galaxy. We'd been travelling for several hours and it still seemed hopelessly far away. I'd asked him why we didn't just portal there.

"N-n-need to bring some shit back with us," was his cryptic reply.

I sat in the seat, practically twitching with anticipation.

"And don't you -- don't you fucking go wandering off, either. L-L-Like you did on Pothulon III. They were ready to throw your ass in prison for trespassing." He gestured angrily with his flask, annoyed at the memory.

I had to admit, that wasn't one of my finer moments on our list of adventures. Apparently trespassing on that planet is an offense punishable by life in jail. Rick had had to do some pretty fast talking to get me out of it. They'd scanned my DNA before I left, and now I can't ever go back -- or to Pothulon IV, either. I'm blocked, or something. I wouldn't even be able to step through a portal without getting immediately destroyed in an explosion of dust, imploding from the inside out by whatever device they have programmed into my genetic code. At least that's how Rick explained it.

Seemed a little extreme to me, for accidentally walking on the wrong side of the street on the wrong day of the month. It's not how I would treat visitors, I'd said. Cripes, even here in the winter, if you parked on the wrong side of the road on snowplow days all they did was give you a ticket....

He'd growled at me to shut-the-fuck-up and shoved me into the portal window he'd just opened, right in the middle of the court room, then immediately followed behind me.

So, now at last, he was taking me to The Citadel. I'd owe him so many blow jobs after this, he'd promised me on more than one occasion, that my jaws would ache when I'd finally "paid" off all my debt.

I wanted to tell him that my jaws already ached every time after I gave him a blow job, but I knew he wouldn't care. It would probably stroke his hyper-inflated ego instead. He loved hearing how big he was. Is.

Oh, y’all know what I mean....

I shifted a little in my seat, thinking about his huge cock and feeling my pussy get swollen and damp. His eyes glanced sideways in my direction.

"Watchya...watchya got goin' on over there, huh, baby girl?" He always immediately knew whenever I was horny. I swear I think he could smell it or something.

"Nothing..." I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of always knowing. Let me try to do some seducing on my own, for once...keep some mystery left in it.

He reached out with his long arm and caressed my thigh. His hand was warm and it sent tingles straight up inside me. I squirmed a little bit.

"Come -- come on over here, baby. Why don't you let me -- let Daddy help you out with that little problem you have there..." His voice had dropped to that seductive purr I loved, and I closed my eyes and moaned, rubbing my thighs together.

He slid his fingers higher up under my skirt, the tips ghosting along my panties -- which were soaking wet, of course.

"Mmmm...you -- you're wet, baby..." He stroked me up and down and I closed my eyes and moaned louder, spreading my legs further apart for him. I heard the sound of his belt and pants being undone and looked over at him. He was using his knee to hold the steering wheel in place while freeing himself from the confines of his pants with the other. His cock was huge and red, and he started stroking himself slowly, his fingers running up over the plush head. A huge bead of precum had formed and I licked my lips while I watched him. I wanted to lean down and take that huge dick in my mouth and suck him dry.

"Come on, baby. Come on over here. I've unleashed the beast, why don't you come on and give it a ride, huh, baby? Daddy'll make you feel real good..."

I lifted up and started to swing myself around across the seat, intending to straddle him so that I would face him, but he stopped me.

"No, sit on me so I can fuck you from behind..." He reached out with both hands and effortlessly carried me the rest of the way over. I splayed my legs on either side of his, hanging onto the steering wheel to hold myself up. I felt him lift my skirt and pull my panties down to my thighs, then his hands were on my hips and lowering me down onto him. I reached in front to help guide him inside and he lifted his hips and slowly pushed in while simultaneously gripping my hips and pulling me down on top of him. I gasped -- he always hurt me at first, if I hadn't cum beforehand.

"Ssshhh, ssshh...baby..." His lips were against my left ear, making my skin tingle. Gently he pulled me back until I was laying against his chest, then he cupped a large palm to my head and tipped it back until it rested on his shoulder. He kissed my face then put his hand back on the steering wheel. With his other hand he reached around my front underneath my skirt and started to play beneath the material, slowly rubbing my clit in circles. I moaned and shifted, grinding down on him a little.

He kissed my cheek again and whispered, "Mmmm...Is that -- is that better, baby? Is Daddy making you feel good inside?"

"Oh, yeah, Daddy....Baby feels soooo good..." I slowly ground myself down on him, rolling my hips backwards and forwards. He continued to slowly stroke my clit, now with more pressure.

"Tell me, baby, tell me what Daddy's doin' for you, hmmm?" He loved for me to tell him how great I felt when we made love, how good he was to me. And he was.

He was hands down the best lover I'd ever had. He could be such a total asshole at other times, but when it comes to sex, he always made sure I felt good, took care of me first.

"Oh, Daddy...you're making me feel so warm inside. Your cock is so full, it's just filling me up. I wanna squeeze you hard and make you cum inside me..."

I started clinching my walls around him, but as usual it was starting to make me get worked up faster than him. He was always better at holding himself back, could make himself last longer for both of us.

"I can feel you...feel your cunt, baby...Are you close, baby? Are you gonna cum for me?"

He started rubbing his fingers across my clit, working it with more pressure, harder and faster. I cried out as my hips jerked against him and I felt fresh wetness between my thighs. I started lifting myself up then grinding down on him, hard, tilting my hips back against him so that his cock stroked across that bundle of nerves high inside me. Soon I was panting and whining, on the verge of orgasm.

I cried out, "Oh, RICK! Don't stop! I'm so close...SO CLOSE!!!"

He continued to stroke my clit fast and hard, and I came, crying out his name and shuddering, my juices flooding out of me and coating his cock. I collapsed back against him, sweaty and panting. He kissed my neck and whispered into my ear, praising me, telling me how hard I came and how great it felt when I came on him like that.

Then he gripped me around the hips with both hands, his fingers digging bruises into my skin. I hitched my breath, knowing what would come next. He tensed underneath me briefly, then began pounding hard up inside me while simultaneously pulling me down onto his lap. Slamming us together over and over, making me cum on him again, squealing and sobbing. Then he came with a hoarse cry, thrusting high inside me one final time, holding my hips in place while his cocked throbbed and poured cum in hot spurts.

I was still coming down, gasping and panting, my body straddling his, when he grunted and shifted underneath me and slipped out. A thick gush of cum followed and got onto my skirt and I moaned.

"What a mess! I can't go walking around The Citadel like this..." I lifted myself off of him and quickly pulled my panties back up, trying to catch the rest. I got myself back over to my seat and sat down carefully, feeling myself squish a little bit.

He laughed at me while he tucked himself back in. His pants were a wet mess, too.

"Yeah, we're kind of -- we kind of got ourselves steered off course there. We should probably stop for the night, anyway, babe. I'm not done with you yet. I know a place -- there's an asteroid with a motel close to here. You don't need -- they don't require reservations. You can even stay longer than an hour -- all night, if you want."

He caught my worried look and winked at me.

"D-D-Don't look at me like that. It's nice, baby. I promise."

tbc

#Rick and Morty #Rick Sanchez #Rick/Reader #The Citadel #Rickdicted #Rick's Texas Chick

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mapowrites · 6 years

Text

Misericórdiae (Erwin Smith/OC)

Chapter 9: Thyme

[ I ] [ II ] [ III ] [ IV ] [ V ] [ VI ] [ VII ] [ VIII ]

(Art by http://koo-kachoo.tumblr.com/)

The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky, casting a magnificent spring evening upon the Trost district. Within the city’s bustling uptown, hoots and hollers were heard from the inside of an animated bar. Inside sat a few dozen military officers and civilians, drinking and talking merrily amongst themselves while a small ensemble of musicians played various gigues and folk songs for their patrons.

Hanji’s squad, including Rick and Lyor, sat at a long wooden table, each of them dressed in civilian garments. They were in the middle of a drinking game when Hanji, who sat at the head of the table, downed her fourth pint of beer and slammed it down proudly. Sitting adjacently to the squad leader was Lyor, and Moblit across from her. The seat beside Moblit was empty, as Keiji had gotten up to present the group (and the entire bar) with a song — The Fisherman’s Ballad.

The group cheered him on, but mocked him exuberantly for his handful of drunken voice cracks and attempts at dancing. Lyor stifled a giggle when Keiji nearly accidentally spilled his beer on the violinist, the mouthful of alcohol she had threatening to come up her nose if she laughed. She had been careful not to drink too much, but the heat in her face warned her to eat something before she continued.

Over the laughter that erupted from her group when Rashad threw ice cubes at Keiji, Lyor waved down a barmaid, and she thanked her when she was handed a menu.

“Food! Good call, Lyor.” The menu caught Nifa’s attention, who sat beside her. They perused the list of meals together before their view was obstructed by Hanji’s hand smacking the menu onto the table.

“Hey, hey! We’re here to get drunk, not to eat. You’ll slow the drunken-ing process!” Their squad leader slurred, while Moblit made sure she didn’t tip over in her chair, muttering about how she can’t just make up words.

“Hanji, I haven’t eaten since lunch. I’ll remind you that you’re the one who cut my dinner early when you snuck us out of the graduation ceremony early,” Lyor retorted, watching Hanji teeter in her seat before returning to her menu. “I don’t want to be sick.”

“Goody-goody…”

“Oh, how was the ceremony?” Nifa asked, genuinely interested. Lyor opened her mouth to reply, but Hanji interrupted.

“Long and boring! I can’t believe I was the only one who showed up!” Hanji leaned over to bunch Lyor’s cheeks in her hands. “Our poor, abandoned newbie.”

“None of us had the day off!” Moblit objected while Lyor smacked Hanji’s hands away.

“I know that, but apparently Hanji can’t keep track of her squad members’ schedules,” Lyor jabbed, glaring at her boss, but then offering a smile to her teammate. “Don’t worry about it, Moblit.”

“You know, I know of a person who had today off, but curiously enough, I didn’t see him anywhere,” Hanji commented, leaning back in her chair, while Keiji finally regained his seat only to be assaulted with insults about his singing by the rest of the group. Lyor pretended not to hear Hanji and stuck her nose back into her menu. “Did his invitation get lost in the mail?”

Still pretending not to hear her, Lyor hummed thoughtfully at the menu. “I wonder what their best dish is…”

The brunette huffed, and placed her elbow on the table to lean her cheek into her hand. “So, are you going to tell me what it is you two are fighting about?”

“We’re not fighting.” Lyor stated flatly, flipping the menu over, her eyes still focused on the list of meals.

“Okay, are you going to tell me what is you two are not fighting about that keeps you from talking to each other?”

“What about the chicken breast?”

“What about ‘Lyor’s two years old’?”

“Never heard of it. Is that a soup?”

Hanji huffed and gave up, ordering another beer from the bar from her spot. “You’re impossible.”

“Oh, you’re right, ‘you’re impossible’ is the soup dish.”

The group ordered another round of drinks and a few meals for the hungry ones, and they fell back into another heated discussion about whether or not Hanji had a crush on Shadis. Hanji was in the middle of grabbing Rashad by his shirt collar when Lyor’s laughter was interrupted by the sight of two men entering the bar. She quickly averted her eyes when she risked to meet blue ones.

“Squad leader Erwin! Mike! You made it!” Lyor watched Moblit stand from the table to greet the two men. Lyor couldn’t help but watch Erwin out of the corner of her eye while he conversed with the younger man. Effortlessly handsome, as always, he wore a casual dress coat over his usual civilian combo — white button up and slacks — and he paired his outfit with an indiscernible expression. He had yet to notice her, but for the briefest second, while Lyor eyed him, he was the only person in the room who existed.

“Come have a seat and discuss my personal life with us! It’s apparently up for debate.” Hanji chimed from her seat to her old friends, her smile betrayed by the passive-aggressive vein popping in the side of her temple, and the handful of Rashad’s shirt in her fist.

“When is it not?” Erwin retorted, and Lyor forced herself not to laugh.

“Two more beers please!” Rick called as the two men took a seat across and on the opposite end of the table from Lyor.

Over the music and the chatter, the barmaids brought the group their drinks, and Keiji stood after a few minutes, albeit unsteadily, and raised his pint in the air.

“To our new squad leader, Hanji!”

“Hear, hear!” The group answered, and they each raised their glasses. Smiling, Lyor’s eyes wandered to the other end of the table. Her eyes met Erwin’s across the way, who also held up his glass with an easygoing smile, before his blue eyes reminded her of the regret he had caused her. She pulled her gaze away, and saw Hanji stand up in her peripheral vision, her drink raised high. She could still feel his gaze on her.

“Not another speech, Hanji!”

“Silence!” She snapped, before regaining her seriousness with a hiccup. “And to our newbie’s graduation! To Lyor!” Some of Hanji’s beer spilled on the table, and Nifa and Abel inched away from it, laughing, while Moblit scolded his leader.

“Hear, hear!” And with that, the group collectively downed their umpteenth pint, applauding and cheering as Hanji bowed.

“Now, as per Recon Corps drinking protocol, honourees are subject to entertain their guests with a song,” Rashad recited matter-of-factly, folding his arms over his chest. Lyor watched the rest of the squad nod along. “We’ve heard Hanji sing —”

“Too many times!” “So now, pray tell, Lyor, what song will you grace us with tonight?”

From across the way, Erwin noticed Lyor’s flush spread even further on her face as her colleagues eyed her expectantly, and she waved her hands in panic. “What? No, I’m not any good!”

“A song, a song!” Someone twittered, and after the group broke into a chant, repeating ‘sing’ over and over again, the blond watched Lyor reluctantly get up from her spot. The group exploded into applause and cheers, and Erwin smiled to himself as he watched her make her way over to the group of musicians.

His eyes never left her figure as she leaned down to speak to the pianist, most likely requesting a song. He noticed the change in her appearance: she wore a tailored navy dress, intricate embroidery framing her décolleté, and the fit flattering her hourglass figure. He also noticed the small, elegant pearl earrings that hung from her ears, her brown locks pulled back into a half-do, tied with a thin, delicate ribbon. Paired with his finely tuned observational skills and Hanji’s habit of divulging information to him, he divined that she had gone to her graduation ceremony earlier that day.

Hanji had spoken with him about it, trying to set a time to pick him up in order to split the carriage ride cost with him, and she had been surprised when he told her he wasn’t going. Hanji, knowing the two were good friends, had tried to assure him she must have simply forgotten to invite him, but Erwin refused to show up to the event unannounced. Erwin was too occupied for frivolous matters to think anything of Lyor’s actions — or lack thereof — but he always wondered if something had happened to suddenly disjunct their friendship. He would have to congratulate her another time. But if anything had perturbed him, it was that she had given his gift to a certain brigadier general.

Ridding himself of any undesirable thoughts, Erwin took a swig of his cold, refreshing brew, and turned his attention to the musicians and Lyor, who stood, sheepishly, before her comrades. The group gave her another round of cheers as the pianist introduced the folksong with a few arpeggiated chords, and the young woman began to sing.

Come all you fair and tender girls, that flourish in your prime, beware, beware, keep your garden fair, let no man steal your thyme, let no man steal your thyme.

The folksong was slow and solemn, and it seemed to hush all commotion from the bar. She clearly wasn’t a singer, her timbre not remarkably high, but her voice was airy and delicate, and the notes were at least in tune. Erwin couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips as he attentively watched her. She placed a palm over her middle, as if monitoring the intake of her breaths.

For when your thyme, it is past and gone, he’ll care no more for you, and every place where your time was waste, will all spread over with rue…

“Will all spread over with rue.” Erwin, lost in her words, only noticed the male voice that sang in unison when Lyor’s expression shifted.

Everyone, including Erwin, followed her surprised glance across the floor, and they spotted Markus, sitting at a table of MP’s in the corner of the bar. The officer stood as the music continued, the sleeves of his chemise rolled up, and a vest donned around his middle. His green eyes never left hers. Involuntarily, Erwin’s grip on his glass tightened, but his face never exuded any emotion, and he blinked placidly as the events unfolded before him.

The gardener’s son was standing by, three flowers he gave to me, the pink, the blue and the violet true, and the red, red rosy tree, and the red, red rosy tree.

Singing through her surprise, Lyor watched Markus advance towards her as he sang in harmony with her. She wondered when he had gotten here, and why she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Whether it was the alcohol or not, Lyor’s heartbeat quickened as he flashed a charming smile at her, and she returned it. Had he always been here, and had they simply not noticed him this whole time?

But I refused the red rose bush, and gave the willow tree, that all the world may plainly see, how my love slighted me, how my love slighted me.

His voice deep and skillful, he sang the last verse with her as he stood directly beside her, and Erwin shifted in his seat. They finished the song together on different, harmonising notes, and the entertained crowd let out an eruption of drunken applause and whistles. The blond applauded out of political necessity, and the two singers smiled at the crowd and bowed facetiously. He watched, thankful, Hanji interrupt Markus’ ignition of conversation with Lyor to hand her a drink. The two women downed their drinks in front of the squadron, as per their requests, earning themselves yet another roar of cheers.

Everyone regained their seats, and food was finally served to the table. Erwin watched Markus walk back to his table, and with his presence gone, Erwin finally engrossed himself in conversation with his fellow scouts, trying to forget the moment the couple had shared.

They ate, drank, laughed and sang for a few more hours, before Lyor began to feel a bit claustrophobic from all the noise, cigarette smoke and alcohol stench.

“I’m going to go get some fresh air,” She excused herself to Nifa who barely heard her over Hanji and Keiji’s hectic debate about Commander Shadis’ expanding bald spot.

The same blue sky that had watched over the bar for the day was now engulfed in a blanket of midnight black, dotted with stars. Though the street was asleep, the bar was not. A few street lamps lined the street, and the flames licked the air with the soft glow of their light. From outside, Lyor could hear her friends’ laughs and singing. A moment did not go by without entertainment that night.

Lyor leaned against the bar’s window ledge, and inhaled the crisp midnight air. She thought about how she had caught a twitch of jealousy in Erwin’s face during her song, when he thought she wasn’t looking. She smiled coyly to herself.

“I thought we were rather good together,” Lyor’s head turned to find Markus making his way towards her from the bar’s entrance.

She smiled politely and her eyes returned to the street in front of her. “So did I.”

“We would make a fine duo.” The man commented, leaning on the windowsill beside her. She hummed absentmindedly, enjoying the mixture of the fresh evening air and the slight buzz of inebriation. She heard him laugh. “You finally agree with me? Does this mean you’ll let me take you out?”

She scoffed and gave him a surly look. “Have I not made it clear enough for you?”

“You’re being stubborn.”

“Oh, no, I’ve shocked you,” She replied sarcastically before she turned to have her body face him. He watched her inquisitively, a smile still on his face. “Why are you so insistent?” She finally asked — blurted — what had bugged her about him for so long.

“Because I like you,” He smirked, his arms crossed over his chest as he eyed her through hooded eyes. “And you’re beautiful.”

She blinked at him in disbelief before she copied him and crossed her arms, looking away as she scoffed. “Oh, please.”

“What angers you, exactly?” He spoke evenly, his tone impish. “What I said or the way I said it? There must be some man who tells you that you're beautiful.”

“Not to my face, no,” She retorted before she locked eyes with him. She felt particularly outspoken tonight now that she had alcohol to blame for any regretful outbursts. “But there are thousands of women who must throw themselves at you in the inner city. You’re a high-ranking, probably rich, military police officer. And your looks don’t make women, you know, gag, so you must have your pick of companions.”

Markus watched her without saying anything, only a smirk on his lips.

She shifted uncomfortably under his stare, her foot stomping impatiently. “Is it a sport thing, then? The more I say no, the more you see me as some sort of prize to be won?” Lyor finally punctuated when he didn’t answer.

“You don’t think very highly of yourself, do you? You don’t think I could simply, genuinely, like you?” The way he chuckled made her skin prickle. He was impressed that she had figured out something was off with his pursuits. “You could say it’s something like that, yes, but you don’t know enough about me to figure me out.”

He stood to his full height, uncrossing his arms, and his eyes suddenly became very ominous. Lyor stiffened as his signature smirk fell, and for the first time, she saw him glower. “I do not appreciate people going over my head.”

She watched him carefully, blinking in confusion.

“When I first heard of your father, I was assigned by the crown to his case. You see, your father really doesn’t care for obedience, my dear Lyor. We told him to stop his research on the grounds that his projects were too dangerous to carry out alone for the public. What happens if — when —a plane crashes into a crowd of people? My men offered him a position within the inner walls, with good pay and a safe place to execute his projects, but the man simply refused to oblige. So what happens when you say no to the crown? We’re forced to make you oblige. Real shame about your mother.” Lyor was stunned. Markus took a step closer to her, and she could only watch him.

“But even after all these years of warnings and sneaking around, I found out that your little group is making illegal trips outside the walls! I had evidence!” A cynical smile broke out onto his face, and he threw his hands up. It made Lyor flinch, as he was now standing only a few centimetres from her, his height towering over her smaller frame, and she tried to back away only to have him follow her. “I get this close to catching you rats, when I’m suddenly told to back off and to let the Scouts handle you. Ten years I’ve been working on this case, and the instant I call for Reichart’s arrest, all of his crimes are suddenly pardoned, and he’s allowed to work on the very same projects I was tasked to forbid.”

With every step he took closer to her, Lyor began to feel more and more panicked. Feeling threatened, she tried to brush it off with a nervous laugh, and started towards the bar. “Ha-ha, brigadier, you’re quite the talkative drunk. Please excuse me.”

Before she could get anywhere, she felt his broad hand snake around her wrist, and he pulled her roughly back to him. With a hand on his chest to create a semblance of distance between their bodies, Lyor shrinkingly looked up at him, into his brazen eyes. Any sign of amusement had vanished from his features, and she could feel his breath on her lips.

“As I said, I don’t appreciate people going over my head. I’m also a man who savours vengeance, you see,” he continued without skipping a beat. His grip on her wrist tightened, and she winced at his immense strength. “And what better vengeance than to make the antagonist’s daughter your bride?”

Lyor wanted to laugh in shock, but all she could do was stare at him, stupefied. In the moment of shuddering silence they shared, Lyor pulled at his grip, and he allowed her wrist to slip out of his grasp. He also allowed her to back away from him, and she rubbed at her wrist as she glared at him.

“And you expect me to marry you over this empty monologue? Or are you going to walk me down the aisle handcuffed and gagged? I wonder if my grandmother will cry of joy.”

Finally, trademark nonchalance returned, and he smiled at her wit. “Of course not. Why don’t you just wait and see?”

Back inside the bar, Erwin was in mid-debate with Rick, Hanji, and Mike about which kind of whiskey paired best with pork ribs when he saw Lyor enter the room, her face blanched. The three continued to yell drunkenly at each other, but Erwin watched her walk over to their table, her eyes sullen. As Erwin stood from his seat, he noticed Schoenberg re-entering the bar, the usual curl on his lips when he sat back down with his men at their table. He looked back at Lyor who sat, her posture slouched, and he moved to walk to her when Hanji suddenly collapsed on the ground behind him.

“Hanji!” Moblit exclaimed, and moved to kneel beside her.

Hanji, on the ground, laughed uncontrollably before she trilled a moan and held back a dry heave. “Ugh, Moblit, I don’t feel so good.”

“You don’t say…” Moblit sighed, and Erwin turned to recover his steps towards Lyor, only to find her walking past him to help Moblit get Hanji off the floor.

“Let’s get you to bed, Hanji.” Lyor laughed — though Erwin could see past her smile to her eyes that crinkled with worry — and she and Moblit made plans to take the squad leader home. Feeling certain that Lyor would be safe tonight with Hanji and her assistant, he refrained from intervening and took his original seat with Mike. Whether he liked it or not, it wasn’t his place to meddle in the woman’s affairs, and this became the best state of mind for him to repress any worry that threatened to plague him.

Half an hour later, Lyor, Moblit, and a quasi unconscious Hanji descended from their carriage ride and helped Hanji to her room within the Recon Corps’ HQ. Once in her room, Lyor assured Moblit that she could handle it from here, and bid the young man a good night.

Lyor dragged Hanji to her bed, the squad leader’s arm over the brunette’s shoulder, and laid her down as gently as she could. While Hanji moaned to no one in particular, Lyor gathered a bucket to place beside her superior’s bed, and she filled a glass of water to force down Hanji’s gullet. It wasn’t too hard, considering the woman could barely lift her arms, but she did receive a few slurred insults. She filled another glass to place on Hanji’s bedside table, and sat on the edge of her bed for a moment.

She stared blankly at the floor, deep in thought.

Why don’t you just wait and see?

Markus’ voice echoed in her head like a scream in an empty valley, and it made her shudder.

“Hanji… I need to tell you something…” Lyor hesitantly spoke, as if Markus would hear every word if she said them too loudly. She turned to Hanji, who was embracing her pillow with her eyes closed, slobbering all over it.

“Oh, commander Shadis…” She moaned.

The scene made her momentarily forget her anguish, and the young woman let out a chortle at her squad leader. Her friend's state alleviated her distress. It had been an eventful evening, and the younger woman to decided to chalk up Markus' actions to a mere drunken vocalisation.

Lyor draped a blanket over Hanji. I guess she really does have a thing for Shadis.

The following Monday morning, Lyor greeted the familiar soldiers she crossed on her way to her squad’s offices, and paused in the hallway when she saw Hanji, Keiji, and Moblit all making their way to the mess hall for breakfast.

“Good morning.” Lyor smiled at her coworkers as she met them halfway, and Hanji and Keiji both groaned and shuddered at her voice. Lyor blinked at Moblit. “What did I do?”

“You spoke in a normal volume,” Moblit offered. “They’re still hungover.”

“Hasn’t it been almost 48 hours?”

“I think I know what an aneurysm feels like before you have it…” Hanji grumbled before she walked past Lyor to get away from their echoing voices.

Keiji followed suit and added, “Like a baseball the size of a cantaloupe in your head.”

Lyor heard Hanji giggle unintelligently. “Good one.”

Moblit sighed to himself before he turned to his coworker. “Want to grab some breakfast with us?

“No, thanks. I already ate. I’m going to get a head start on things this morning.” She smiled and waved goodbye, heading towards her shared office.

When she got there, she found the place empty, to her relief. She wanted some peace and quiet this morning to bury herself in her work — it was one of her coping mechanism. She hung her coat before she walked over to her desk, and she was about to set down her bag when her eyes spotted something unusual at her workstation: a humble bouquet of purple creeping thyme flowers placed in a glass vase. She raised an eyebrow, set her shoulder bag on the ground, and sat down at the stool at her desk. Curiously, she picked up the small card. It read:

Come all you fair and tender girls that flourish in your prime

Beware — keep your garden fair. Let no man steal your thyme.

Congratulations on your graduation.

Erwin Smith

Notes:

Please let me know what you think! I'd love your thoughts on Schoenberg -- I'm not always the best at coming up with villains heh -v-;

#erwin smith #erwin smith x oc #erwin smith/oc #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #fanfiction #ao3fic

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johnnymundano · 6 years

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Possession (1981)

Directed by Andrzej Żuławski

Written by Frederic Tuten, Andrzej Żuławski

Music by Andrzej Korzyński

Country: France, West Germany

Language: English

Running Time: 124 minutes

CAST

Isabelle Adjani as Anna/Helen

Sam Neill as Mark

Margit Carstensen as Margit Gluckmeister

Heinz Bennent as Heinrich

Johanna Hofer as Heinrich's mother

Carl Duering as Detective

Shaun Lawton as Zimmermann

Michael Hogben as Bob

Maximilian Rüthlein as Man with pink socks

Thomas Frey as Pink socks' acolyte

Leslie Malton as Sara, woman with club foot

Gerd Neubert as Subway drunk

It’s just a hunch but I reckon Andrzej Żuławski was having a tough time on the marital front when he made this deliriously nuts arthouse splatter classic. Just a hunch, mind. Certainly Anna (Adjani) and Mark (Neill) are putting each other through the relationship wringer. Mark returns home to ‘80s Berlin after a long absence doing some shadily vague spycraft, only to find Anna’s been finding solace elsewhere. Like many couples in movies Mark and Anna shriek and bellow at each other while a child (Michael Hogben) looks tearily on, but the sense that the stakes are raised higher than Kramer vs Kramer (1979) is cemented when they meet in a café and Mark starts smashing things like smashing things is going out of fashion. It’s all very entertaining stuff, full of “deep” conversations delivered in a stagey way, but the bits where Mark loses his shit are best. Which is good, because during Possession Mark loses his shit a lot; he might even have surreptitiously stocked up on shit beforehand so much shit does he lose. Anna looks like a much better bet for any sense, but it turns out that she too is losing her shit, and her shit losing will reach truly operatic proportions before the credits roll and the viewer is left wondering just what the holy hell they just watched.

Things would be bad if Anna was just messing about with her ballet tutor, Heinrich (a thrillingly unhinged performance by Heinz Bennent, which doesn’t so much challenge the viewer but rather the entire concept of performance itself, and possibly singlehandedly redefines cinematic camp for the next hundred years). Unfortunately it’s even worse, she’s messing about on Heinrich as well with…well, uh, spoiler? There’s a reason the credits include Carlo Rambaldi, the renowned creature creator. I’ve never really been a Rambaldi fan, preferring instead Rick Baker, Screaming Mad George or even Rob Bottin, but Andrzej Żuławski keeps Rambaldi’s work off screen or splashed with gore, so any deficiencies are lost in the very effective shock the visual carries.

Possession’s greatest special effect is the city of Berlin itself; it is set in Berlin when the Wall was up, see. It seems like some kind of early John Carpenter riff now in 2018, but, yes, the city of Berlin was in fact, post WW2, separated East and West, by a big wall with barbed wire, machine guns and sallow men in warm hats peering through binoculars. A divided city, a divided couple, yeah, all that stuff is in Possession. As is doubling, every clever director’s device of choice. And of course the title has more than one meaning. Sure, you could get all chalk and elbow patches about Possession but that’s on your own time. It’s the crazy shit I warm to and…hoo boy! Because as everything around him becomes ever more unhinged, some semblance of sanity finally possesses (ho!) Mark and he sets a detective on Anna’s trail, and when that works out badly he sets Heinrich on the case. Things look like they are trundling to a possibly merely slightly nuts conclusion when Żuławski goes “Ha!” and sets course for the heart of insanity with a final act that becomes apocalyptically demented and then carries right on through.

Possession’s an overwrought wail of a movie but it’s not lacking in discipline, don’t think that for one hot second. The tell is how the characters’ apparent lack of control in front of the camera is balanced by the total control behind it. Characters stomp around, spin on a pin and hurriedly flail off again, in rooms, down stairs, out of doors up and down, in and out, round and round but the camera stays right with them, it never misses a single step. No mean feat in the ‘80s when cameras were as big as suitcases. Żuławski’s hysteria is (ta-da!) rehearsed hysteria but the seeming spontaneity is uncannily convincing. The director’s control clearly extends to the performances; given everyone is so simpatico in their oddness Żuławski’s plainly had a word in every actor’s shell-like. Everyone is good, but Neill, Adjani and Bennent are volcanoes of thespian awesomeness.

Adjani in particular is a revelation. She definitely has the hardest (because it is the most ambiguous) part, but she tears into it like a dog with a bag of hot chips. Actresses are eternally undervalued, largely because their roles are frequently underwritten, but here Adjani gets a chance to thesp until something snaps and she grabs it with both clawed hands. The bit where she has a breakdown (miscarriage?) in a pedestrian tunnel and ends up slouched in her own secretions of (apparently) milk, blood and fairy liquid is the kind of frenzied brilliance you’ll die happy you witnessed. Andrzej Korzyński’s earworm of a soundtrack certainly doesn’t hurt either. For a movie so apparently overheated and unrestrained Possession turns out to be a thing of artistic precision and icy control.

Back in 1981 Possession was an unremittingly bleak spew in the face of optimism and yet…in 2018 the wall has gone, Berlin is united, Germany has healed and is doing just fine; so hope has snuck in retroactively. “This too shall pass” turns out to be the secret message of hope at the heart of Possession. A message secret even from the movie itself; a message equally applicable to divided cities and divided marriages; a message the movie wasn’t built to carry but then history always does the heavy lifting. I first saw this movie reviewed in “Starburst” (a British genre movie magazine, 1977 to present) in its year of release and made a pre-pubescent mental note to keep an eye out for it. Nearly four decades later I can rip that mental post-it note up. Possession was worth the wait.

#Possession #Movies #Horror #1981 #1980s #France #West Germany #Andrzej Żuławski #Heinz Bennent #Isabelle Adjani #Sam Neill #Weird on Top

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lemonysharkbait · 7 years

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Participants

It’s the 19 Days vampire AU no one asked for! Thought vampire stuff was dead? Yeah, me too. Then I got sucked into Vampire Knight (don’t ask) and remembered just how many sexually charged moments vampire stories create. And then this happened.

Warnings include blood (somewhat obvious) and sexual themes. It’s not full on nsfw. Yet.

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

TIAN

He Tian smelled him before he saw him. It was the thrumming full smell of someone he wanted to proposition, immediately. He rounded the corner into the parlor room and the site of the man himself sealed his want.

Long pale arms draped over the back of a low couch. The man’s back was to He Tian, but he turned his head when he heard footsteps, locking bright brown eyes onto He Tian. He Tian almost stopped dead in his tracks, almost. The other man eyed him up and down and then snorted, “You all wear the same thing.”

He Tian crossed the room and sat down across from the man. Incredibly, his red hair was real, not some garish dye. His clothes clashed with the somber surroundings of the large mansion. A loose yellow t-shirt hung off his frame. With his arms up along the back of the couch, the edges of his t-shirt lifted to reveal a sliver of skin and the band of his briefs. Sitting low across his hips was the band of his track paints, which tapered to an expensive pair of soft pink Nikes. The red head was looking off to the side with his feet on the coffee table. The large bay window in the room bathed the red head in soft afternoon light. A warm fire crackled in the fireplace.

What a dream. He Tian felt confined in his three-piece suit.

The red head turned and locked eyes with He Tian again “Do I smell good to you?”

He Tian tried not to look dumb founded. “Pardon?”

“You’re practically eye-fucking me.”

Mouthy.

He Tian put on his winningest smile. “It’s just your skin–“

“Oh my skin,” the red head cut him off, rolling his eyes. “I used to be singled out for my skin and hair but now it’s all you vamps talk about.”

He Tian let out a small laugh. Of course others would comment on his skin. It was pale, so beautifully pale. It wasn’t difficult to imagine what was thrumming underneath.

“You should see him when he flushes.” He Tian and the red head turned to see She Li breeze into the room. “You opened the blinds.” It wasn’t a question. “Shut them for us.” The red head’s eyes looked like they would shoot daggers if they could. Grudgingly, he stood and slowly sauntered over to the heavy blinds, pulling them shut and encasing the room in dim light.

His smell washed over He Tian, doubly strong, sweet and acidic like wine, or champagne with grapefruit.

“Do you want a taste, He Tian?” She Li sat smirking, across from He Tian. The red head tensed.

“I prefer for the arrangement to be mutual.” So the red head was one of She Li’s participants.

The red head crossed the room and sat back down on the couch next to She Li. The smell wafted over He Tian again, making it momentarily hard to think.

She Li shrugged and changed the topic, launching into the recent rash of unsolved murders in the area, the work of a vampire that would cause another panic and a round a stricter laws if he or she didn’t stop. The topic moved into blood deals and trades, gossip at first but then it began to get closer to the reason for He Tian’s visit.

“Should he be here?” He Tian motioned towards the red head. She Li drew the red head’s wrist into his grasp, tracing lazy circles on the soft skin of his upturned arm. The red head didn’t react. In fact, he looked bored.

“Mo Guan Shan recently came into service for the Shes. He’s under my command.”

Mo Guan Shan. He Tian wanted to make Shi Li drop Guan Shan’s wrist, let the red head go. Instead, He Tian shrugged.

The rest of their conversation was short. Simple details of handoffs and buyers. She Li kept Guan Shan’s wrist in his hand the entire time, tracing circles that might have been absent minded if it weren’t She Li.

He Tian ignored it and made to go at the first opportunity. She Li drew Guan Shan’s wrist up to his face, inhaling deeply. “Are you sure you don’t want a taste? He must smell better to you than he does to me.”

He Tian smiled his best fake smile, watching the snake-like eyes of She Li, “No, I must get back.”

“If you insist.”

She Li dipped his head, licking Guan Shan’s wrist and then sinking in a penetrating bite. He Tian noticed Guan Shan didn’t even flinch, and He Tian felt a small twinge of jealousy and sadness at the realization that Guan Shan had this done to him many times before. And then the smell hit. His open wrist released his full scent and He Tian felt a surge of want that made him stumble. He caught himself on the back of a chair and lingered for a second, trying desperately to compose himself while thoughts of sinking his teeth into the delicate skin of the red head’s throat roiled through his mind.

He stifled his thoughts enough to stand. Guan Shan was looking at him with those intensely bright eyes. She Li moved to push Guan Shan into the couch and slide partially on top of him, losing himself to bloodlust. He Tian strode out of the room.

The scent stayed with him all the way out of the complex and down to his car. Shaking, he dialed the number that would bring him relief from his sudden, intense thirst.

GREY

Grey knew, from the second he entered the apartment, that He Tian was on the edge of full blown bloodlust. The large airy apartment was dim, all the lights were off but the floor-to-ceiling windows let in cold winter light.

The man– or rather vampire– himself sat low on his couch, eyes unfocused and his breathing barely stable, his chest rising and falling unsteadily. His long winter jacket and suit jacket were discarded on the coffee table. Rick and Morty played silently on the TV.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice.” Such a silky deep voice. He Tian had the habit of making it slightly menacing, like he knew something you didn’t.

“It’s no problem.” Especially for the convenience fee he would be paid. He crossed the room and half knelt on the couch. He Tian turned his eyes on him and Grey shivered. The coal black eyes were unfocused with a haze of want. He Tian drew Grey on top of him. There would be no preamble today.

He Tian’s cold fingers rolled up his sleeve. Warm breath ghosted on the underside of his wrist, then the pressure of He Tian’s tongue and a gentle kiss pushed against the soft skin– broken by a quick piercing pain, like the initial sting of a shot, followed by a rush of heady endorphins. He Tian looked up at him from under thick lashes. Grey feebly fought his own rising desire and let out a small groan. Why must vampires turn every feeding into something so sensual?

He couldn’t deny it was intimate, and maybe this was just the natural human reaction to a vampire bite, akin to the welts that rise up from mosquito bites. Or it was just He Tian. Whatever the cause, he wouldn’t be getting release this time. He Tian was drinking deep.

Grey leaned into He Tian, resting his entire weight on the absurdly strong man as his own body, instead of going into shock, sank into a warm relaxing stupor.

He awoke on the couch, covered with a blanket, his wrist tightly bound and elevated. His head pounded with an excruciating headache. On instinct, he tried to sit up, but the room spun.

“You probably shouldn’t move.”

Grey grabbed his head. “Jesus, He Tian, what got into you?”

He Tian snorted. He was in the far corner of the large open room, smoking and watching Grey.

“A Red Head. Well, he wasn’t in me, but,” He Tian ended his thought with a drag on his cigarette. “Sorry, by the way, I didn’t mean to, well.” He gestured at Grey.

“I knew a red head once.” Grey said it absentmindedly.

He Tian hummed, letting out an “mm” of acknowledgement. He had probably met hundreds of red heads in his lifetime. How old was he? A century? A millennium?

Grey let out a laugh as he let his brain surge with memories. “Yeah, from elementary school, which feels like a long time ago in my life.” Grey looked at the food on the coffee table. It was from his favorite take-out place. He Tian never cooked, but he made sure to learn where his participants liked to eat. He took the best care out of any of the vampires Grey knew. He always had pain pills and water on hand. He was gentle with his bites and careful not to make blood stains. He would walk or drive to any food place in the city and pick up the participant’s favorite dishes. He even learned what shows people liked to watch and the music they preferred and would play for them whatever they wanted. And he had the best shower, it was modern and overly luxurious with heated tile and the ability to choose the exact temperature the water should be. Not to mention the perfectly fluffy towels.

He had never taken this much blood. It wasn’t uncommon for a vampire to take a little too much, but they all seemed to know how to hook up an iv. Grey had woken up only once before with an iv in his arm, the result of a vampire drinking too deeply. He Tian had never done that to him and he doubted he ever would.

Grey rolled his head slightly, reaching for a cup of water. “God, if it’s Guan Shan who you’re pining after, good fucking luck.” He had another sentence after that one, but He Tian was suddenly in his vision, in his space. It was uncanny how fast they could move.

“You know him?”

“Him? Guan Shan? We were good friends from elementary school all the way through high school. We kept in touch afterwards, although he took a nosedive off the face of the planet about two months ago. No one’s heard from him.”

He Tian had composed himself into silence. He was thinking.

“You’re sure the guy you saw was Guan Shan?”

He Tian smiled warily, “Natural red hair, bright brown eyes, pale skin and a permanent scowl.”

Grey snorted, “Yeah, that’s him. With She Li?”

He Tian looked ready to burst with too many questions, questions he quickly stifled. His cigarette was finished, yet he still held it between his fingers.

“What is She Li like?” He Tian asked the question quietly.

Grey grimaced. “I only had him once, so I don’t really know.” He Tian fixed his gaze on Grey and Grey felt compelled to answer.

“He’s, he’s, well, intense. You are totally his when he feeds and he doesn’t let you forget that. But when he’s done,” Grey let the sentence hang.

He Tian silently walked over to the ashtray on the other side of the room, then crossed back and sat on the edge of the couch. Grey felt the divot He Tian’s weight made. He Tian turned towards Grey and motioned at the food. “May I?”

“Be my guest, I can’t eat right now anyways.”

He Tian popped open a lid to something and started scooping food onto his plate.

“I am sorry.”

Grey leaned towards the warmth. “I know.”

Guan Shan woke up on the carpet, a deep chill in his bones. He saw the dark paneled ceiling slowly come into focus. His head hurt and somewhere he felt a tube. He thought about intense eyes. Coal dark.

“You’re awake.”

“Welcome to the land of the living.” Guan Shan mumbled. He realized his whole body hurt. “How much did you take?”

She Li snorted “Barely enough, blood bag. You’ve got a transaction tomorrow.”

“Ok. Can someone help me on the couch? I’m a little tired.” He could hear the clack of shoes leaving the room.

“I’ll get someone.”

Guan Shan lay there for a long time.

---

“Red?!” Guan Shan heard his old name and didn’t want to react, but old habits die hard.

“It is you. Old habits die hard, huh?”

Guan Shan scowled. What is this ghost doing, wandering around his present?

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

Grey snorted “You don’t look fine, She Li take too much?”

Guan Shan didn’t respond. He turned to walk through the bustling flower market to the vendor they had come to see. His head was killing him and the thick smell of fresh flowers and loud sounds of the bustling mart made the pain worse. He felt like his entire body was bruised. One of his steps faltered.

He felt Grey’s grip on his elbow. “Jesus, Shan. Come on, let’s get you to the delivery truck.”

They passed the stalls of flowers, Grey’s tight grip on his arm the entire way, and turned into the stall they needed. Grey went to walk Guan Shan to the back of the stall, where the delivery truck would be waiting in the alley, but Guan Shan wrenched his arm out of his grip.

“I’m fine. I have to stay to see it loaded.” Grey shrugged while their flower man shuttered the stall. Well, really she was a flower woman.

Chen was all useful muscle and spattered greenery. She knew everything there was to know about international flowers, and everything there was to know about the international blood trade. She greeted them happily, pulling up a stool for Guan Shan and setting a glass of water down for him. She made no comment on his appearance, it wasn’t the first time he had shown up too tired to load and unload the boxes.

“These just came in this morning, incredibly fresh.” She reached into the cooler and pulled out a long box. With sharp clippers from her apron, she cut off the binding and pulled out the thick staples used to keep the boxes shut.

“Alright boys, time to show me a sign.”

Grey pulled a small silver trinket from his pocket. It was a Jackalope, the mythical rabbit with antlers and the sign of the Yi family. So, he was here for Jin Yi. Guan Shan showed his trinket, a serpent with a head at each end of its body. It was inscribed in Greek with “The amphisbaena has a twin head, that is one at the tail end as well, as though it were not enough for poison to be poured out of one mouth.”

He like the description.

Chen nodded and pulled the lid off the long cardboard box. Inside were bundles of flowers. Chen pushed them aside and pulled out a bag of blood, unceremoniously dropping it on the table.

“I’ve got South American and Eastern European varieties. Mr. He is getting back into business, so you’ll stop at his place before you drop the rest off at Jin Yi’s.”

Guan Shan nodded and fished the cash out of his pocket. It must have been cash that He Tian left with She Li yesterday. Grey did the same.

Chen counted the money, nodded, and tossed two jackets on the table. “Wear these so you look less like hoodlums. The jackets were emblazoned with her business logo, a bright cartoon sunflower.

They loaded up the cooler truck without Guan Shan’s help. Chen brusquely helped him into the truck, cutting off any protest with her matter-of-fact manner. Grey drove them off towards He Tian’s without looking up directions.

“So, you met He Tian yesterday.” Grey was driving slowly through the afternoon traffic. Guan Shan looked at him weakly.

“I’m a little tired myself, I’m one of his participants.” He raised his left hand, the cuff of his sleeve falling enough that Guan Shan could see the edges of white wrapping. “We didn’t have anything planned for yesterday, but he called me up, asking if I was available. Turns out, you got him all worked up. What did you do, bleed on him?” Grey said it jokingly, but Guan Shan felt blanched.

“She Li fed on me, in front of him.”

“Jesus fuck, really? What a sick fuck.”

“He Tian doesn’t do that?” He couldn’t keep the genuine surprise out of his voice.

“God no, he keeps his participants separate from everything else in his life. I’ve never met anyone else in his life. He probably won’t be happy to see me delivering, but Jin Yi pays well and He Tian hasn’t done business in a long time, so I never had to worry about running into him. Usually I just drop off Chinese blood with our exporter anyways. Which is probably why I didn’t know you were in this business too, until now.”

Guan Shan shivered, remembering the moment He Tian’s eyes had gone liquid, hazy with want. Grey turned up the heat.

“You should switch and work for He Tian. He’s a lot better.”

“I can’t.”

Grey didn’t press the matter and they rode in silence to He Tian’s.

Guan Shan was surprised when they pulled up to a sleek building still within Beijing. Grey pulled up to a service elevator and sent out a quick text. Guan Shan clambered out of the truck and unsteadily to his feet.

“I’m just waiting for the access code– maybe you should stay in the truck.”

Guan Shan felt himself scowl. “I’ll be fine. You won’t be able to get all of the boxes up at once by yourself.” Guan Shan opened the back of the truck. It was a cold day but he was unnaturally cold, unable to warm up even when he was in the truck with the heat at full blast. He started to pull a box out of the back when he heard the ding of the elevator and then a silky, deep voice.

“Grey, you shouldn’t be working, had I known, I wouldn’t have–“ He Tian stopped mid sentence and said something under his breath, his eyes locking on Guan Shan. The box he had been pulling slid the rest of the way out of the truck, but the effort to gently set it down was enough to make him dizzy. Guan Shan felt the unpleasant symptoms of passing out. Tunnel vision, ringing ears, labored breath. He steadied himself with a hand on the truck, trying to hide his precarious lurch towards unconsciousness.

“He shouldn’t be out. Why would–? If, if he passes out and has to be taken to the hospital, the doctors would take one look at him and know. I’m not particularly fond of She Li, but…” He Tian spoke quietly.

Grey nodded. “Yeah, you’re right, Guan Shan, why don’t you stay with He Tian until you feel well enough to leave? You’re safe with him, he’s sated.”

Guan Shan felt his heart beating weakly. He needed to sit for a second. “I’m fine. She Li ordered me–“

“I’ll deal with She Li. I’ll also compensate you for whatever you were to be paid.”

Guan Shan looked up, which was a mistake, he lost his delicate balance and leaned heavily on the van. He suddenly felt a strong arm around his waist and his own arm was slung over someone’s shoulders. He Tian’s, he realized. He hadn’t seen him move.

“No, I’ll at least stay in the van, I need to see the delivery through.”

“You already have, the portion I paid for is here. Let’s go inside.”

Guan Shan felt a blanket of calm enveloping him. He fought it. “Don’t play with me.”

He Tian smiled and the calmness lifted.

---

Guan Shan let out a low whistle when they entered the apartment. He had convinced He Tian to release him and let him stand on his own. He Tian stayed a step too close though, keyed up to catch any stumble, which just annoyed Guan Shan. He used every ounce of his stubborn will to walk steadily.

“You live here by yourself?” Everything was in shades of pale. It was tastefully artfully done, large and airy. It was also too clean, like an Airbnb waiting for the arrival of the next guest.

“My uncle owns the building, although I still pay rent.” He Tian strode around smoothly with the grace and strength that all vampires seemed to embody. “You can rest here, the TV–“

“Woah no.” Guan Shan back-peddled from the room. It was a bedroom, the master bedroom. “The couch is fine.” He felt the wash of calm pour over him. It was an unnatural dulling of his own feelings. He scowled at He Tian. “I said, don’t fuck with me.”

“You said to not play with you.” He Tian smiled his infuriating perfect smile.

“I’ll just call a cab.” That beautiful smile faltered and Guan Shan felt vindictively happy. The crashing warmth of calmness ceased abruptly and Guan Shan, momentarily, wished for it back. That was the entire problem with these creatures, you didn’t know yourself. They could twist feelings up.

“At least lie on the couch until you’re past the possibility of passing out.” He Tian glided out of the room and to the large open area. The couch and TV weren’t far from the floor-to-ceiling windows. Guan Shan couldn’t help himself. He wandered over and looked out of them. They were far from the ground. People looked like dots and cars were bright splotches. It was starting to snow.

Grey was shuffling in the boxes of flowers and blood bags. He Tian turned to help and Guan Shan strode unsteadily towards the couch. He felt better without the vampire’s intense gaze on him. He settled in. He really was very tired, literally drained.

He didn’t know when he had closed his eyes, but somehow, He Tian was there, pressing cool fingers into the crook of his arm.

“Are you taking my pulse?”

“I’m looking for a good vein. You need more fluids.”

Guan Shan vaguely thought about fighting this newest insistence. He Tian was right though.

He Tian took his silence the wrong way.

“You don’t have to worry. I’m sated. And your scent is weak right now.”

Guan Shan felt a light sting as He Tian slid the needle in and taped it down.

Guan Shan noticed there were blankets thrown over him and his shoes were off.

“You’re scowling.”

“What time is it– where is my phone?”

He Tian handed him his phone from the coffee table. His wallet and keys were there as well next to a glass of water, pain pills and a piece of fruit. His phone was even charged to 100%. Guan Shan struggled between feeling thankful and creeped out.

“I would encourage you to stay the night.”

Guan Shan looked up from his phone, his eyebrows knitting together. He didn’t mean to wear a permanent scowl, but everyone was looking for some sort of advantage, some way to get something. The less people, and vampires, that liked him the better.

He Tian reached out a cool hand, gently gripping Guan Shan’s chin. Guan Shan felt a small thrill at the touch. He turned his nose up to break the grasp.

“The only time you dropped that scowl was around She Li.”

Guan Shan nearly dropped his phone. That was because he had nothing to fight for with She Li. At least not at that moment. Resignation. The small thought drifted through his mind. No, that wasn’t fully right. He wasn’t resigned to She Li. But he was bound.

He Tian stood up and lit a cigarette, “Why do you work for him?”

“None of your business.”

“Break contract with him and work for me. I’ll pay you more.”

Guan Shan stared at him incredulously. He couldn’t tell if He Tian was joking or serious, playing with him or offering pity. Anger boiled up and he let his voice sound sharp with it.

“Being his participant isn’t about money. It doesn’t matter if he bleeds me dry. I work for him.”

“Why.”

Guan Shan stayed silent.

He Tian sighed and tapped his cigarette, sending ash into the ashtray. “He’s dangling you in front of me, although I don’t know why.”

Guan Shan stayed silent again, not understanding what the vampire wanted to him say, or even what he should say.

“So quiet. I’m sure She Li doesn’t tell you much. Well, we have all night to talk about it. You’re snowed in.”

#Participants #i did this instead of getting stuff done #why #19 days #mo guan shan #guan shan #he tian #tianshan #vampire au #vampire #blood #mine #original

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metalzombiemiss · 7 years

Text

Secret--Chapter 1

Characters: Negan x Original Female Character (Lily) There are some cannon characters in this story that will show up throughout. Some are original characters. This chapter is all fluff and introduction. Some cursing, violence, mentions of abuse/rape. Negan is mentioned but does not show up in this chapter! Sorry! Excuse any errors, I didn’t have a beta. Italics represent the past.

Chapter 1

“What the fuck?” Siddiq whispered to himself as he stood watch at the gates of Alexandria. “Holy shit. Open the fucking gates!” he shouted.

“What?!” Nathan screamed back.

“Open the god damn gates! We have a survivor!”

The gates rolled open as Lily stumbled her way up the road. Dehydrated and starving, she walked into the community.

“What’s your name?” Nathan questioned, his hand on his gun. “Lilly…” she managed to say before falling to the ground.

“Get her to the infirmary! Tell Rick we have a new one!” Siddiq ordered. Nathan picked her up and ran to the infirmary as Gabriel made his way to Rick’s. “Rick!” Gabriel banged on the front door of Rick’s home.

The door opened, “Gabriel? What’s wrong?” Rick saw the look of concern on Gabriel’s face. “A girl game to the gate. She passed out. Nathan is taking her to the infirmary now!” he explained, out of breath. “I’ll meet you there,” Rick said calmly as he grabbed his crutch.

After Negan had broken Rick’s leg it never healed right. He couldn’t move as well or as quickly as he used to. “What happened?” Rick questioned as he stormed into the room. “She passed out at the gate. She’s more than likely dehydrated. I need to get an IV started. I think she’ll be alright though,” Dr. Warner answered as he grabbed saline out of the closet.

“Let me know when she wakes up,” Rick requested, “Questions are necessary.” Dr. Warner nodded as he inserted the IV into Lily’s hand.

“You are so fucking lucky to have me,” Brad snarled while helping Lily up. “I had it. You caused a commotion,” Lily snapped, wiping her dirty hands on her dirtier jeans.

He grabbed her arm, “No. You did. You be dead without me.” She aggressively pulled away, “Don’t fucking touch me.” Brad raised his hand and struck her cheek.

The pain ran through her entire face. Lily slowly turned her head, “Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me.” He laughed, “I’ll do what I please. Now shut the fuck up and let’s keep moving.”

Lily picked up her machete from the dirt and tried not to jam it in the back of Brad’s head. “He’s right, Lily,” Sarah said, “We’re all still alive because of him.” Lily side-eyed Sarah and stated, “No, Sarah. I’d be fine without him.”

“You’d be dead in days, bitch,” Lucas chimed in. Lily could feel her face get hot with anger. “Fuck you…” she grimaced. She rolled her eyes and shoved her machete into its holster.

“She’s waking up,” Michonne whispered. “Where the fuck am I?” Lily’s eyes adjusted to the light.

“Good morning. Thought we might have lost you for a minute,” Rick smiled warmly. “Who are you?” Lily sat up slowly, her head still pounding. “I’m Rick. Welcome to Alexandria.” “Alexandria? I made it all the way to Alexandria?” “Yeah, you did. By yourself. Have you been alone this whole time?” Michonne asked, handing Lily a glass of water.

Lily nodded in thanks and replied, “No. I had 3 others with me,” she took a big gulp, “They’re all dead…”

“You don’t seem upset about it,” Rick stated. “I’m not,” she set the glass down on the table next to the bed, “One of them was my abusive prick boyfriend and the other two were a couple we met on our way south.”

“Where are you from?” Rick filled her glass. “Nashville. Heard going south was safe. That’s wasn’t true, obviously.” “What happened to your group?” Michonne wondered.

“Two of them were killed by another group. My boyfriend got bit,” Lily’s response was cold. “How long were you alone?” Michonne continued her interrogation. “I don’t know. 2 weeks? I ran out of water 3 days ago, I think.”

“It’s a miracle that you’re alive,” Michonne stood up, “Get some rest. We’ll be back later.” “Thanks…” Lily lay down and closed her eyes.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Alpha said, getting into Sarah’s face, “You need to find your own territory.”

“Fuck you!” Lucas shouted. Alpha looked at him through the mask of skin from the dead. Lily stayed crouched down behind the bushes and tried to keep quiet. Fuck, fuck fuck, she thought. CRACK! Alpha struck Lucas over the head with the handle of her knife.

“Lucas!” Sarah reached for him. “DON’T TOUCH HIM!” Alpha sliced Sarah’s arm. “FUCK!!!” Sarah grabbed the wound and winced.

“Here’s what’s going to happen: You stole our things so we steal your lives. Understand?” Brad perked up, “If you’re gonna kill us, you need to kill all of us. My dumb bitch of a girlfriend is in those bushes.”

“Fucking hell…” Lily whispered. She felt a hand grab her arm and was quickly jolted to her feet. She glared at Brad as she was taken to Alpha. He gave her a smirk. “You’re too pretty to die,” Alpha grabbed Lily’s face and examined her pale skin, “We’ll keep you.”

She shot a look over to a wide-eyed Sarah who was still trying to stop the bleeding. “Kill her,” Alpha calmly demanded. “NO!” Sarah screamed.

Lily woke up in a cold sweat. The image of the knife wouldn’t go away. She couldn’t stop seeing it go through their necks. The sound of bone still echoing in her mind. She sat up in the stolen hospital bed. Her sigh was loud enough to get Dr. Warner’s attention from the other room.

“Hungry?” he questioned. Lily nodded. “Hang tight. I’ll get you something.” She moved herself to the side of the bed. “What the hell is this place?” she asked to no one. “It’s our own little community,” a voice came from behind her. She jumped off the bed and gasped. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you!” Rick hobbled in with a smile.

“It’s okay. But how? How did you create this?” her hazel eyes glanced around the makeshift doctor’s office. Rick helped himself to a seat, “Well, we met so many people with so many backgrounds and we taught each other how to plant and raise animals and make clothing. We created all of this. We even managed to expand the area and build more shelter. We have builders and farmers and chefs here. We find a job for everyone. Tell me, Lily, what did you do before all of this?” Lily sat back down on the bed and said, “I was a pathologist.”

“What is that?” Rick seemed genuinely curious. “I mostly performed autopsies. I’m really good with dead people. Well, dead people who don’t come back.” “So you’re a doctor?” “Well, I have my MD but I chose to work with the dead because they didn’t betray me. Then they did and it all went to shit.”

Dr. Warner walked in with a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of water. “Thank you,” she smiled. “It isn’t much but hopefully it’ll help subside the hunger,” he expressed. “This is great. Thanks,” she repeated.

She took a bite and tears nearly streamed down her face. “How do you have cheese?!” she inquired. “We have cows and we have people who know how to make it.” Rick explained. “Amazing…” She couldn’t remember the last time she ate something that wasn’t a squirrel or rabbit.

“Can you tell me more about the people you were with?” Rick continued the interrogation. She nodded as she took another bite. “We were traveling, trying to find supplies. We came across a camp. I tried to get them to keep moving but they wanted to take their stuff. They were still there so I thought it would be wrong to take their things but I wasn’t in charge so I had no say. Anyway, they had me keep watch. Long story, short, the group who caught us killed the other two we were with. They tried to keep my boyfriend and me but we managed to escape after they…” tear welled up in her eyes, “So we escaped. But in the commotion, he got bit. His hand was a mess. I could have amputated it and saved him but…I killed him instead.” She took another bite of the sandwich and looked at Rick, just waiting for his disappointed stare.

“Well, if you killed him, there was a good reason for it. You don’t seem like the type who would let someone die for no reason,” he remarked. “He was a prick. He hit me, called me horrible things. He…anyway, he was awful and I was far too happy to be rid of him.”

Rick nodded, “You don’t need to explain a thing. You’re safe now.” “For now. If you could spare some food and water, I’ll be out of your hair in a few days,” Lily set her empty plate down on the bed.

“What? No, Lily, you don’t understand. You’re welcome here. This can be your new home. I’m offering you safety. A home. A job. A bed. A shower.” Lily’s ears perked up, “Shower?” Rick laughed, “Yeah! It’s not always hot but it’ll get you clean!” She smiled, “It could be ice cold and it would still be better than bathing in a fucking creek or a river!” “I think you should spend one more night here. Tomorrow, we’ll find you a home and figure out a job for you.”

She smiled, “Thank you, Rick. You’ve saved my life.” “Rest up. We have a lot to go over tomorrow.” Rick gave Lily a smirk and made his way out of the room. “A home?” Lily whispered to herself. A smile crept up on her face.

#negansmut #twd fanfiction #i'm not really a writer i just play one online #I’ve never done this before so be gentle #jdm

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fromthedeskofelizabeththird · 7 years

Text

So this is the Bullshit

I don’t believe in call out posts. I think they’re unnecessary and usually create a tidal wave of drama over a misunderstanding or an issue that might have been resolved with a simple click of ‘unfollow’ or block’.

This is one of those instances where it is necessary. Where the actions of one person are genuinely harmful and quite likely malicious and it’s actually impossible to know the extent of everything they have done.

Before I proceed, I want to make it clear that I do not condone sending this person hateful asks-or, indeed, any- asks about their behaviour. If you wish to unfollow or block them-or not- then that is your business. But I did not make this post to encourage spiteful behaviour.

I want to thank everyone who contributed to this post, whether it was sending me data, good vibes, proofing or just cheering up my cranky butt at varying points between now and April. Without further ado:-

This is a callout post for user Vallanoble, for actions spanning back to February of this year.

Before I start, I need to point out a couple of things, this is a long ass story. It might take at least one session to get through all of the receipts, of which there are many.

Also: tumblr took a shit on the formatting and none of the links work now. Everything is ugly but I have a back up I’ll post when whatever weird glitch this is fixes itself.

SEVERE TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS POST

Secondly, for much of April, before this story crossed over to tumblr, Vallan went by a nickname that was an amalgamation their general location on my statcounter and the fact they had sent weird anons as opposed to their actual name. Now that the story is being publicly connected to a singular individual, I’ve edited out all references to physical locations from my data and switched out the actual place in the document with the word ‘dipshit’. Yes, this took hours. Yes. I had a LOT of help. This is in the interest of protecting user privacy, however and not dishonesty.

First things first, Dipshit anon is an overly passionate Zen fan. They don’t interact much, so tbh I never really noticed them ?? But for sure they were following me around the time of this post

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/155205738770/1-am-i-the-only-person-who-feels-like-zen-is

(which seems to be the first they reblogged from me) and I recall they had been for quite some time at the time of this one

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156327734615/i-love-how-you-always-take-survivors-opinions-into

which they later alluded to in a post of their own.

It’s important to actually note several things happening at this point:-

Random overly enthusiastic Zen anon exhibit A // http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156228295970/you-know-theres-something-that-annoys-me-like

Not so rando enthusiastic Zen anon // http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156308585305/i-have-a-question-how-did-you-interpret-zens-bad

Zen anon the third // http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156206700610/what-are-your-thoughts-on-the-conflict-between-zen

Zen’s creepy childhood brought up with the beginnings of resentment towards a Jumin post made only shortly before

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156210280495/honestly-im-so-glad-youre-talking-about-how

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/155500851985/what-do-you-think-to-the-thoery-that-jumin-is-a

Tbh I’m a bit annoyed that tumblr removed their historical notes from posts so I can’t actually reference stuff properly >:[, but January was a very busy month in terms of Zen anons (a pretty recent thing, so I don’t think Dipshit had been following me for THAT long??) asking me about stuff while I posted Jumin fics and other Jumin meta, all while Dipshit anon liked the posts all of thirty seconds after I answered them, which basically led me to the conclusion they’d probably been the one asking in the first place.

In January, they talked to me about fanfiction

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156305150630/vallanoble-replied-to-your-post-wait-why-dont

This is important. At the very least please take note of the tone

In January, they were also posting this, complaining about Jumin blogs shitting on their favourite character.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/156356257463/something-ive-noticed-is-that-almost-all-the

(I took screens in case of deletion)

This post is fine on its own, but crucial context for what came later.

By this point, I had them tagged on Statcounter, though I didn’t know about these posts until February, when this debacle happened

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157102446080/i-looked-everywhere-my-desk-my-files-the

Tl;dr, in a conversation about how Jumin fans felt uncomfortable about a particular phone call, an anon came out of the blue to change the thread of conversation to Zen. Why is that familiar?!?

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157093746030/just-read-through-all-the-debating-about-jumin-and

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157097601850/the-breadcrumbs-call-is-outgoing-not-incoming

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157098711835/im-honestly-not-trying-to-be-so-salty-but-im

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157097035190/seven-does-make-passing-guilt-trippy-comments-in

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157112807900/to-clarify-it-was-annoying-that-the-discussion

Take note of this post and this one

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157112807900/to-clarify-it-was-annoying-that-the-discussion

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157097417010/i-just-meant-during-the-conversation-about-sevens

Same day, take note of this

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/157117392193/lj-writes-shippers-my-ship-is-totally-not

(screenshot),

plus this post from a short while earlier

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/155827891443/what-really-irked-me-more-so-than-just-the-fact

(screenshot 1)

(screenshot 2)

Same behaviours as before. Both resenting discussion of Jumin where relevant and blaming me personally for gross fandom behaviours I was not guilty of. I had statcounter data too (no longer unfortunately, as I have the free version), but anyway, I blocked the user and went on my merry way.

Note:- In case it is not clear, I was able to work out the identity of Dipshit and block them based on their historical activity, previous asks they had passed onto me (which in turn led to their tag on stats), stat counter data at the time of the debacle (data I don’t have anymore, but they remained tagged in April) and a cross reference of posts on their own blog.

Side note:- Here is Dipshit admitting to sending the anons (paragraph 4)

And again, (paragraph 2)

And again (paragraph 2)

And again

A n d a g a i n

In any case. Check out these posts from March

http://themystic-messenger.tumblr.com/post/158096675544/vallanoble-replied-to-your-post-me-i-dont

(screenshot)

, [x]

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/158933352583/the-amount-of-hate-and-aggression-towards-people

(screenshot)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/158973582463/yall-rant-and-rave-about-how-rika-abused-v-and

[x]

(screenshot)

and this one from April

http://themystic-messenger.tumblr.com/post/159234167469/i-rly-love-all-ur-posts-bc-i-agree-with-your

(screenshot here)

Once again, crucial context for what comes later.

Prior to JuminV week, I received this ask

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/159180924940/zenxv-and-zenxjumin

This question came off the back of this ask to Jun, which was liked by Dipshit anon.

https://xeraeus.tumblr.com/post/159177453126/what-i-was-asking-a-question

There is currently no evidence to tie the ask itself to Dipshit however, in light of what happened later, I am including that detail nonetheless.

On the first day of JuminV, this was posted

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159427686298/sees-zen-x-jumin-content-stop-that

(screenshot here)

followed succinctly by this ask

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/159426686395/am-i-the-only-one-annoyed-about-the-popularity-of

I made the connection to Dipshit Anon after replying. Juminzen week, as far as we know, was not in the works until after JuminV week had already started. Therefore, it’s unlikely that first message is connected to it and it was sent for a different reason.

Note:- Here is Dipshit directly admitting to sending the JuminV ask Part one, part two

In any case, since I didn’t want to start ship drama, I dismissed them?? I blocked them by IP around this point.

After I responded two more responses came, citing a disability when reading and claiming to ship JuminV over Juminzen tl;dr because it was not fetishisation. I deleted both of these messages and blocked by ip. I would not have deleted them if I had already made the later connection.

I posted to twitter at this point, joking that it was the first day of JuminV and already I’d blocked the entirety of the University of Dipshit by IP.

I posted again a short while later after checking statcounter and making the connection.

Dipshit anon’s name or URL was not mentioned. The fact that they actually studied at the university was assumed, though not confirmed nor referenced by myself the tweets were later deleted and this is to the best of my recollection

Things went quiet, but then the mod of JuminZen week started liking my tweets about Dipshit anon (which in turn made me suspicious, as we did not know one another and did not talk until May). Strange asks started arriving to other bloggers in regards to JuminZen. My statcounter traffic started to spike with visits from the university of Dipshit.

In this period I made jokes about “Dipshit anon”, based on the fact that I had blocked them by ip more than once and they persisted in viewing my blog, leaving me to redirect their individual ip addresses to rick rolls, crash safari and more. In private I also complained about them, because their actions were making me uncomfortable.

They posted this on the 14th, which later made me suspicious

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159572324383/if-someone-makes-a-jumin-x-zen-week-i-will-boycott

(screenshot here)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159700504123/wow-im-feeling-like-shit-i-want-to-die

This is what they posted on the 17th

(screenshot here)

This is definitely about me, considering everything I’ve covered so far and this paragraph

were the same person who talked about listening to survivors expressing discomfort yet you shut me down just for not liking your fave. even when i phrased things nicely and came just to discuss things you immediately responded aggressively and accused me of trying to start drama. well im sorry that i saw you discussing similar topics and thought i could come and express my feelings to you but obviously you only care about specific instances of homophobia or problematic things that occur in the fandom if they have to do with bashing ur gross fave, jumin the ultimate misogynist han

The thing I didn’t understand was why it was framed as if friends were laughing, but

#dragzenweek

#dragzenweek was established as a joke (and regardless of opinions on the matter, it was not actually tagged with Zen’s name), but Alyx reported receiving genuinely hateful comments from fans of Zen and people who hated Jumin over it. One of them was Dipshit anon, which I pointed out at the time on twitter. Alyx posted a screenshot of a post from their notifs with Dipshit Anon’s URL blanked out and I was able to identify it. I personally feel from the manner the screenshot was edited, it would not be possible to identify the user without prior knowledge. (Please don’t take my word for this, however. Here is a screenshot)

I was in contact with other friends about Dipshit anon’s behaviour and the possibility they were connected to other current dramas (at that point, I was the only person to receive an anon in regards to JuminZen who knew where it came from) both in private and otherwise. I was concerned, but did not want to spread malicious, unwarranted gossip.

It’s important to reiterate that in any given public conversation about Dipshit Anon, they were only ever referenced as such and not as any individual tumblr user. Dipshit-originally- referred to the general location of their Ip and Anon referred to the fact they had sent an anonymous message.

I spoke to Alyx about this at the time expressing concerns that Dipshit anon thought I was perhaps connected, or at the very least somehow involved with dragzen week.

On the 19th/20th April, I made a private document, detailing everything I currently knew, with links, screenshots etc (the first draft of this document). I did not want to keep repeating the story and if I was actually going to suspect this person of behaving badly, I needed proof. This document could not be liked, reblogged etc and and was only circulated privately among friends who had been in conversation about Dipshit thus far. It was a presentation of the facts as I knew them and intended to inform, leaving everyone to come to their own judgement on the matter.

Remember that at this point, beyond sending asks to Alyx and their priors with me, we did not know for sure Dipshit was connected to other dramas and without statcounter data, there was no way to actually prove it.

On the 19th of April, Alyx posted this screenshot to twitter.

At the time we joked about how this remark was actually unfair of both characters, as while it’s certainly true that Jumin can be quite mean to Zen, Zen is hardly kind to Jumin either. Neither the screenshot nor the subsequent thread were tagged JuminZen or Juzen. You would have had to have gone directly onto Alyx’s page to find it.

This coincides with the following twitter based traffic to my tumblr page.

Worth noting is that Alyx’s twitter is listed on their tumblr page, where they also received hateful messages about the week on the 20th of April,

which once again coincides with twitter based traffic from Dipshit Anon.

Considering Dipshit Anon complained on the 17th about me and my friends and then Alyx received a complaint about their hateful friends, I do not think it’s too much of a stretch to suggest a connection.

Also around the same point, off the back of sentiments from other people that someone was trying to perhaps stir bad feeling betweeen Juminzen and JuminV shippers, I commented that I knew of two potential problems in this regard, one of which was Dipshit anon who I knew for certain had sent me an ask that would have caused drama. I mentioned victim complex, by the way, as a comparison to the Juzen shippers sending asks badgering artists. I was rather suspicious that no matter how shady their behaviour, ultimately Dipshit anon would convince themselves they were doing the right thing and anyone who told them otherwise was being a bully or a homophobe, having seen such behaviour before- both from them and other fandom dramas.

Also worth noting is that my tweet was on my own personal twitter page, which is not listed anywhere and was written J*zen. It was not retweeted and no one commented on it. It would have been impossible to find without either going directly onto my page or searching Dipshit Anon.

Around the 20th, Vess confirms traffic from Dipshit anon coming through from Val’s blog. Vess continues to receive traffic from them over the next few days. This comes after a tweet expressing the belief that Dipshit anon is, in fact, more than one person. In response, I note that the messages I received (of which there were three) came from Dipshit anon, which I know for certain. I do not confirm or deny anyone else’s, however.

That same day, Gillian also questions if Dipshit Anon is making the rounds. However, I personally do not comment on that thread.

On the 21st of April, Dipshit anon posted hate directly to the Jumin Han tag because “they wanted Jumin stans to see it”

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159807410203/i-just-wanted-to-let-you-know-that-im-in-the-same

Screenshot is here

Note:- this gained a negative reaction on twitter as it broke established etiquette.

They later received an anon asking to stop sending messages.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159834049063/look-im-not-here-to-convince-you-that-jumin-has

Screenshot is here

Note: I don’t know who sent this message. Up until this point, I had complained about them for stalking my blog, sending an ask that would have created a shit ton of drama and expressed my own concerns that they might have been doing the same to other people. None of us had mentioned sending asks about Jumin outside of that one post on the 19th, which related to askZen. This was not officially connected to Dipshit Anon at the time.

They later express righteous anger at the idea of “popular” Jumin and V stans blaming them for drama

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159834850458/apparently-someone-is-going-around-sending-angry

Screenshot is here

Note:- a quick search made it quite apparent that no ‘popular’ Jumin or V stans had referenced this blogger recently. However, this post comes shortly after dipshit anon was referenced as victim complex 101 on twitter (as dipshit anon). The connection was not made until later.

Dipshit anon claims to have been harassed, without mentioning names.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159836552898/leave-me-alone-i-honestly-dont-know-what-the

Could be true, considering the Jumin post, though is not tied to that and no asks are published. Feels victimized for content they post on their own blog. Also claims not to have sent anons and only have lurked in the Zen tag, which is, frankly, untrue.

Note the phrasing: honestly how narcissistic do u have to be to think that one person who you had a disagreement with once is going around over 2 months later harassing every person who like jumin??? like??? <- this is about me

Link to Post - https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159836552898/leave-me-alone-i-honestly-dont-know-what-the

Screenshot

Note:- This message also comes off the back of me saying on twitter (not 100% seriously) that I’m almost tempted to do a call out. Also note that this mostly came from the fact that they accused us of stalking and bullying on tumblr based on out of context comments from twitter.

Dipshit anon claims that people are spreading misinformation.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159838725443/honestly-i-dont-like-people-who-blame-things-on

At this point the only information being passed around is a private document containing links to legit sources that cannot be reblogged to avoid this exact thing. References being mocked, which … this blogger has not been referenced on tumblr. Has only been mocked for their efforts as Dipshit anon. Based on things they have actually done.

Screenshot is here

Dipshit anon refuses to give receipts on behaviour and references not wanting to start drama even though they spoke about boycotting an event only recently and tagged their hate that same day.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159839414888/im-reading-ur-posts-abt-these-blogs-accusing-u-of

Screenshot is here

Dipshit anon tells another person that they have only made posts on their own blog irt Jumin, which is not true. They also say that their behaviour comes as a result of wanting their experiences as an abuse survivor to be considered. (Deleted! Screenshot available) Remember, they are not the only survivor here and they know this enough to try and use it in a vaguepost

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156210280495/honestly-im-so-glad-youre-talking-about-how

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159700504123/wow-im-feeling-like-shit-i-want-to-die

Screenshot is here

this private post was only referenced on twitter. In replies to conversations, not all of which mentioned Dipshit anon. Usernames were not mentioned. It was not posted on tumblr. Enough said. It was at this point that everyone started to suspect they were actually watching people’s twitters.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159839641293/whos-saying-its-you-whos-sending-the

Screenshot here

Demands information from the people supposedly sending them hate Deleted, I took a Screenshot

Posts this by way of a receipt (does not link actual users) Deleted, but I took a Screenshot

Note: You cannot just stumble across tweets !!! Also, the topic of conversation WAS Jumin. Dipshit got defensive after I refused to change the topic.

I would also speculate that this ask Alyx received on the 21st came from Dipshit anon, given these factors:

The timeline - having asked Alyx and knowing that ask arrived somewhere between 5am and 3pm cst on the 21st of April, which places it on the busiest period of Dipshit anon’s posts that day. Between the Jumin hate and many other of their corresponding posts

the knowledge that Dipshit anon was watching our twitters

the data that proves they were watching both Vess’ blog and mine for certain

They arrived at Vess’ blog via referral from Val’s. With this in mind and the facts above, it’s not unlikely that during this period they actually lurked everyone’s blogs.

This ask arrived during a very difficult climate when Dipshit felt particularly angry and in their own words, was stressed and emotional.

Not only that, but they themselves were on the receipt of criticism for posting hate in tags on the 21st.

I did a search of their blog for mentions of Yoosung and Unknown and they have explicitly stated a dislike for the Yooran ship (screenshot)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159453918143/mysticmessengerspambot-gah-im-tired-of

This is speculation, but considering the evidence, I believe it is fair.

On the 22nd April, Dipshit Anon sends a message to Alyx (part2)(part 3)

They send a message to Serena shortly afterwards

Here is how the conversation goes:

S: “I’m a bit confused about what it is you want me to tell you, honestly. I never thought that we were engaged in drama nor were we fighting, considering I’ve never spoken to you before.”

DA: “No, I didn’t think so either. But apparently you and some others had a post listing things I’ve done and I was really confused?? There was accusations of me sending people who liked Jumin mean asks which I didn’t do? I just wanted to clear everything up and figure out where that was coming from.”

S: “I don’t recall anyone saying that people were sending Jumin fans mean asks. Can you be more specific?”

DA: “Um, wasn’t that the entire point of what was going on though? There were tweets saying that I was sending harassment to people who like Jumin?Someone sent me a message telling me to stop sending asks to people who like Jumin which I didn’t do? And it seemed like it was from one of you guys. I could be wrong, though.”

S: “Well, I didn’t send that message, and to my knowledge none of my friends have sent you anything.”

DA: “That was the bulk of my frustration. I saw some tweets assuming that I was sending anon asks to random people about Jumin which I didn’t do, and I was overwhelmed and upset at being told I was doing something that I didn’t.”

DA: “Okay. Then what was all the hype about saying that I was harassing Jumin fans? And that there was a private post that apparently had a bunch of evidence that I did a bunch of things? I honestly was super confused on what everyone thought I did and that’s why I was upset.”

S: “Do you want to link me to a specific tweet claiming that you’re harassing Jumin fans, because I still do not recall anyone saying that.”

S: Honestly, it’s really not my responsibility to entertain you, but I’m a bit tired of this and I have exams to study for so I’m going to anyway. First of all, my friends and I aren’t a hive mind. I don’t know what it is they’re saying about you at all times, and just because they say something it doesn’t mean that I personally agree with it.

Second of all, I was referencing this ask that you sent to Louise when I referred to sending asks trying to start shit:http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/159426686395/ … I’m not interested in debating whether or not that was actually your intention; it doesn’t really matter to me because that’s the effect it would’ve had when it landed in Louise’s inbox had she chosen to reply to you seriously. And I know that you were the one who sent that ask, because of this post that you made subsequently, so don’t bother:https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159700504123/wow-im-feeling-like-shit-i-want-to-die … For some reason, you chose to pretend that her response was some sort of personal vendetta against you for disliking Jumin, even though her response has nothing to do with Jumin’s character at all and simply stated that she doesn’t want to partake in an argument that’ll cause friction with JuminZen fans. And then you did a whole lot of misconstruing by saying that she’s belittling you for your justified anger or not taking your experience as a survivor seriously, which is a very serious and untrue accusation to be making of a person who is also a survivor. Hence, my annoyance with you.

Thirdly, I posted my incredulity at the fact we’re the same age, because of your assertion that adults in the fandom are bullying you despite being an adult yourself, and despite the fact you aren’t being bullied. Getting blocked isn’t being bullied, it’s being ignored by someone who has no requirement to engage with you anyway. Fourth, it annoys me that you said you haven’t sent any asks about Jumin since months ago, when you just sent that JuminZen ask like two weeks ago, because that’s lying. This entire time you’ve remained anonymous in our discussions. We’ve literally been calling you “Dipshit anon”, and your url hasn’t been publicly revealed anywhere. None of this information is available to anyone except in our group of friends, since the post containing these and other links is private, and we’ve only been sending it through private messages to people we are friends with. The fact you decided to listen in on a conversation about things you really did and claim that having that conversation is bullying is your problem, not ours. Have a good night.

Screenshot of Dipshit Anon loading my blog one hour before I am referenced in this conversation

Before Dipshit Anon’s response, I learn that Vergil received a strange JuminZen ask and receive clarification that, while he did receive traffic from Dipshit (the location), the one in his askbox was Italian. Around this point we discuss potentially eliminating Dipshit from this particular inquiry, but also to keep an eye on them in case of future problems. I too received traffic from Italy recently.

Dipshit begins deleting posts off their blog around this point. (The final two on the list)

Vess confirms traffic from Dipshit anon

Dipshit Anon’s response 1,

, 3

, 4

, 5

, 6

, 7

, 8

, 9

, 10

, 11

, 12

, 13

, 14

, 15

, 16

Some notes:-

In regards to point 8, this person is blocked from my blog for reasons I have already explored and it is manipulative, to say the least, to complain about my reaction to them when they had no business being in my inbox in the first place.

The phrasing of point 8 actually is very manipulative in general “oh well, she doesn’t care”. My emotional labor is not for their profit, nor consumption.

Speaking of manipulative, consider the point about age. Dipshit anon repeatedly refers to themselves as a child when they are nineteen, repeatedly complains about adult bloggers and grownups being condescending and in points 8 and 9 complains about an inherently present power dynamic that I should be aware of when speaking to younger bloggers, all while sending asks on anon. I cannot feasibly guess the age of anonymous asks.

I don’t actually remember saying anything about Zen and Seven fans on my twitter or tumblr. I also cannot find anything on my twitter about this. So. Um. Receipt?

I believe that point 11 is true to an extent. I believe they probably found DragZen on the 17th and, from there, found Alyx’s tumblr. I also believe that from there they found Alyx’s twitter, which would give us something of a timeline so far. It certainly brings us to their angry post on the 17th, in any case.

It’s true that I identified them as Dipshit anon, but only after concluding that their URL was blanked out satisfactorily and only because Dipshit anon was the name I had been using from the beginning to identify the person that sent me a questionable ask and continue to load my blog afterwards.

The next part in 15 is just. Where do I begin? Even Dipshit is not sure whose anons I identified as theirs. As a matter of fact, I only identified Alyx’s. When Vess got statcounter, we compared data in the interest of accuracy (as I later did with Vergil), but none of this happened on my public twitter.

When Dipshit refers to Gillian receiving asks, I believe they are talking about this, which I did not confirm

Point 15/16 makes me really uncomfortable, for reasons I will come to at the end.

Here is them viewing my blog around about this time

S: Okay, re: everything else now.

1. All right, if you didn’t consider that ask as being about Jumin then I’m fine with setting aside the idea that you lied about it. It was personally frustrating to me because I really don’t care what asks you sent about Jumin months ago, I was annoyed by the response to Louise’s way of handling the JuminZen asks from a couple of weeks ago. It’s pretty clear by now that you probably didn’t even have that JuminZen ask in mind the entire time all of this was happening, but that’s what I was thinking of in terms of everything else I posted. I have my thoughts on how the situation could’ve been handled differently by both you and me, but at this point I don’t think it matters anymore and in the interest of resolving things let’s call it a misunderstanding and move on. I already said I don’t really want to debate whether or not that ask would actually have started drama so I’m not going to.

2. I wasn’t aware of the timing of your post was after the DragZenWeek incident and not after the ask you sent Louise, but upon re-reading it makes a lot more sense in that context and I’m sorry for making assumptions. To ease your worries, Louise wasn’t stalking your blog. She has an app called StatCounter that allows her to see where people are accessing her blog from—that’s how she put together who it was that had sent her other messages prior to the JuminZen ask, and that’s how she was able to block your IP address. By the way, she also knows you’ve been bypassing her IP block to visit her blog these last few days.

I can understand why you were stressed, honestly. I disagree with the way you do a lot of things, but I’ll readily admit that I personally made a lot of assumptions that I didn’t have a real basis for making, and I’m sorry. I stand by my statement that no one claimed you were going around and harassing Jumin fans with asks, though.

To explain my own point of view, most of what was annoying *me* was that you were conflating responses to you with disliking you for liking Jumin. I can’t speak for anyone else, obviously, but I personally could not care less if you hate Jumin. Speaking for myself here, I’ve said multiple times that although Jumin is my favourite character, I’m completely sympathetic with the reasons people would have for hating him, and I’ve also said that I would never engage in a debate over him with someone who says Jumin reminds them of past abuse because that isn’t my place to speak. Most if not all of my friends have said the same or similar, and honestly, I don’t want friends that don’t have that attitude and when I dislike someone I make it pretty damn easy to tell. But you were accusing Louise of that, which I think is especially insensitive because Louise is also a survivor, and now you’re saying that you meant for all of that to apply to Alyx too—not that you need to know this, but Alyx heavily criticizes Jumin’s route for the exact reasons that you probably would. Again, it’s a very serious thing to accuse people of being abuse apologists, especially when you don’t know the situation.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m sincerely sorry that you were hurt by my words yesterday, especially because some of the claims I was making were unfounded. Gossip is something I generally try to avoid, and I think this entire situation was a good reminder as to why I do that. I still don’t think this falls under the definition of bullying, but I do empathize with your perspective and I’m sorry for my involvement.

I’ll go back and delete any posts about this that were made by me. Here are my recommendations for you:

1. I don’t know if you have the extension XKit, but it allows you to blacklist certain words so that posts containing them don’t show up when you’re browsing tumblr, and it allows you to block posts that you dislike/don’t want to see. It’s a good tool to help you stay safe while navigating the site, and I think you should probably put Jumin’s name into it since you’ve mentioned that you find him severely upsetting.

2. Use the “anti” tags when you want to discuss character hate/critique, or don’t tag at all. It’s totally within your rights to critique a character, and using the anti tag means that anyone who chooses to interact with your post is consenting to do so knowing what they’ll be getting into. When you tag a post, you’re basically giving people permission to engage if they want to, so if you want to have a critical discussion about a character with like-minded people or people who disagree but are interested in having a discussion, that’s your way to do it. If you only want to discuss with like-minded individuals, you can throw on an “#I’m not interested in debating this” tag so people who disagree know to stay away. There’s a reason none of the DragZenWeek posts were tagged with Zen’s name and this is that reason.

3. This goes for both of us, but if you’re seeing something happening out of context, don’t assume that you know what the context is. You didn’t know what it was I was talking about when I discussed asks you sent, I didn’t know what you were talking about when you made that post (and I also assumed it was you sending the other asks, double bad on me). I don’t think I’ve anything more to say on this subject. If you do, feel free. Thank you for taking the time to contact me in spite of your social anxiety—I understand that that was hard to do and I appreciate it.

Dipshit Anon:

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate you clearing things up. I usually tag my posts with anti-Jumin, but at that time I was still emotional and defensive about things I previously mentioned, so I thought that tagging it would send a one time message to people that like Jumin to not harass survivors that feel uncomfortable with him about it. That’s all I wanted. It was a bad move on my part and I’ve gone and fixed it and I’m sorry.

I forgot to clarify these things - I didn’t think Alyx was being insensitive towards me being an abuse survivor - I made an error when constructing that sentence and it made it seem like I was including them in that statement. I just was upset because I was under the impression that they thought I was pathetic and attention seeking for my deleted post on DragZenWeek.

I can’t remember what exactly happened that made me say that thing about Louise being insensitive to abuse survivors and not liking me because I didn’t like Jumin, but that wasn’t about the JuminZen ask I sent or the previous one for February. It was something to do with her statement about me being attention seeking and seeing some responses to other people’s asks who criticized Jumin or something. I honestly can’t remember, and looking back at the post I don’t know why I said that, and I’m sorry.

I feel like a lot of this was due to misunderstandings by me and a little on the others sides and I reacted defensively and angrily to situations when I didn’t know the entire story. That just led to more statements and miscommunication on both sides and it spiraled out of control. Nevertheless, I apologize wholeheartedly and I appreciate you giving me a polite and courteous reply. I’ve been dealing with some tough stuff in real life for the past few months, including a traumatic brain injury, that’s clouded my judgement and made me more volatile and sensitive to criticism or what I misunderstand as negativity directed at me. I know that doesn’t excuse anything, but I just wanted to clarify that I’m not usually like this, and I usually keep to myself. I’m digressing, but I sincerely do apologize. I appreciate your clarification and will definitely do the the things you recommended. If you could, it would be very much appreciated if you could pass along my apology sentiments to everyone else that was involved. You don’t have to, and I’m not expecting them to forgive or unblock me or anything, I just want them to know that I am sorry and I’m usually a reasonable and nice person when not under extenuating circumstances.

Thank you again and I wish you the best.

Also - clarification about why I didn’t have Jumin’s name blacklisted - I’m on mobile Tumblr a lot, because it’s just easier for me to use because of a lot of convoluted reasons related to my learning disabilities and mental illnesses. But I do have them blacklisted on my computer, and when I’m on mobile if I see a particularly terrible hate post about Zen or a post that is praising Jumin but uses examples of Zen and why he comes up short in comparison, I’ll block that person. I usually don’t really care and avoid that stuff, but I have encountered several blogs in particular (none of which belong to you or any of your friends) that express extreme animosity towards people who say Jumin makes them uncomfortable or reminds them of past abuse. That’s kind of where that ask response was coming from. I just wanted people not to bug others who don’t like him. But it was done in the wrong way and I’m sorry. Also, I was only checking Louise’s blog because I was paranoid that she was going to post things about me and I wouldn’t be able to see them. I’m not going to do that anymore and I’m sorry.

And those blogs I mentioned that attack abuse survivors make numerous posts saying stuff like “if you say jumin made you uncomfortable I don’t like you” or “people who are triggered by jumin are the worst” and etc. Again, it wasn’t you or any of your friends, but some of those people who do that were really insensitive. I’m sorry for tagging the post though and getting y'all dragged into it.

Notes:-

There is a difference between EXPLAINING your actions where relevant and EXCUSING them. And excusing them is very much what’s happening here, given this phrasing: I’m usually a reasonable and nice person when not under extenuating circumstances.

Disability or stress or emotion is not an extenuating circumstance for accusations of abuse apologism and stalking, nor is it an extenuating circumstance for repeatedly insisting on engaging in conversation with someone who has blocked you. It’s not an extenuating circumstance for flat out lying in some cases and manipulating the facts in others. It’s not an extenuating circumstance for listening on a conversation you aren’t included in and choosing to accuse the people having the conversation of bullying instead of asking for context.

Secondly, Dipshit’s comment here: I forgot to clarify these things - I didn’t think Alyx was being insensitive towards me being an abuse survivor - I made an error when constructing that sentence and it made it seem like I was including them in that statement. I just was upset because I was under the impression that they thought I was pathetic and attention seeking for my deleted post on DragZenWeek.

Given the timeline we have so far, their post on the 17th, Alyx’s asks around that period and the traffic on my blog, I think it’s more accurate to suggest that they WERE including them and are backtracking.

Also in regards to this: I can’t remember what exactly happened that made me say that thing about Louise being insensitive to abuse survivors and not liking me because I didn’t like Jumin, but that wasn’t about the JuminZen ask I sent or the previous one for February. It was something to do with her statement about me being attention seeking and seeing some responses to other people’s asks who criticized Jumin or something. I honestly can’t remember, and looking back at the post I don’t know why I said that, and I’m sorry.

Once again, given our timeline, the fact that if I called them attention seeking at all it wasn’t until after the 19th in replies to other people and Alyx and I chatted about Jumin on twitter on the 19th, I feel it’s fair to conclude that this could be a legitimate memory blank, but it’s more likely to be backtracking.

It’s also very clearly backtracking irt: but that wasn’t about the JuminZen ask I sent or the previous one for February, when both are explicitly referenced in the post itself.

I usually don’t really care and avoid that stuff, but I have encountered several blogs in particular (none of which belong to you or any of your friends) that express extreme animosity towards people who say Jumin makes them uncomfortable or reminds them of past abuse.

This is the second (?) time they’ve angrily drawn other people into a conversation about unrelated topics and they have made posts about boycotting events, they tagged their hate only recently etc. I think it is fair to conclude from all evidence so far that they do care and they don’t avoid that stuff.

I’m on mobile Tumblr a lot, because it’s just easier for me to use because of a lot of convoluted reasons related to my learning disabilities and mental illnesses

I went back to count and Dipshit anon mentions their illnesses, injuries and more on seven separate occasions and always in the context of gaining pity, thereby shifting the power dynamics of the conversation.

Dipshit Anon remains blocked as of April 2017

As of 22nd of April 2017, they continue to load pages of my blog, despite their own statement that they would not:

Also, I was only checking Louise’s blog because I was paranoid that she was going to post things about me and I wouldn’t be able to see them. I’m not going to do that anymore and I’m sorry.

Also worth noting is that this traffic came through a t.co reference, which is the shortened url format from twitter.

In response to this, I made my tweets private again and removed the link to my blog from my twitter bio.

As of May 8th 2017, they continue to load pages of my blog.

I believe this occurred because of a reblog of this post.

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160437244740/your-recent-reblog-made-me-realise-how-mistreated

As of the 10th of May, I receive traffic on a singular VxMC-centric fic from Dipshit (the location). This traffic recurs over several days right up until the 14th.

I do not usually receive traffic from Dipshit the location with this amount of frequency. I also knew that Dipshit the person had been browsing my blog. This put them on my radar.

On May 15th 2017, I learned of this ask on Void’s blog

http://vo-dcc.tumblr.com/post/160686201606/i-saw-you-were-one-of-the-artists-for-the-zen

(screenshot).

At the time, I had my suspicions that Dipshit might be involved and a brief check on their posts that day reveals that Dipshit did intend to submit to the fanzine.

(Link)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/160685696123/zen-fanzine-project

At approximately 9am that morning, I receive traffic from them on statcounter.

The interesting thing about this is that at first I was not entirely sure why this traffic happened. I do not reference anything about this incident on my blog until approximately midday, when I reblog Void’s answer to a second ask.

http://vo-dcc.tumblr.com/post/160688531186/the-creator-of-the-zen-fanzine-did-clarify-that

(Screenshot) (Here is the time stamp of when I actually reblogged it)

From 8.30am onwards, Void and I were talking privately about the situation, at which point (a little before this conversation)

Void referenced typing out a long post, which likely became the one they later posted. (Having chatted to Void, they later confirmed that it was in fact, already posted by the time of that screen.) This creates something of a potential timeline of Dipshit seeing the post shortly after it was posted and following through to my blog shortly afterwards. (Note: I believe I was not the only one to receive this treatment, but I’ll get to that later)

In any case. I asked Void to check if they were blocked by Dipshit and it later transpired that they were.

I encouraged Void to get Statcounter, we compared notes and here is a full compilation of all traffic

from

Dipshit received within the first day of installation. (Pls note that the date is different because of time zones. I live in Britain and for me these times are in the evening of the 15th. US people would be even further back in the day)

Here is a screen of Dipshit later admitting to sending both asks covered so far to Void

Note that I said I was not the only person whose blog potentially received attention from Dipshit as a result of Void’s posts. I believe that Dipshit actually went through the blogs of several people who either commented or expressed support for Void over the course of those few hours spanning from when they first received an ask to the 9am response.

This would not only fall in line with current evidence at hand, but also their actions in April.

Exhibit a

, exhibit b

, and exhibit c

(link)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/160688548033/lmao-i-just-found-out-that-this-gross-person-who

(I’m coming back to this one later)

Also take note of this reblog by user setthestarsxonfire.

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160686536882/i-saw-you-were-one-of-the-artists-for-the-zen

(Screenshot)

They made a post a short time afterwards, further going into their feelings on the matter

(link)

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160687270552/please-guys-dont-go-hating-on-another-person

Afterwards, they received three asks (ask a,

ask b

and c

) (link to a,

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160689487552/juzen-is-an-abusive-ship-its-unhealthy-and

link to b

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160690376012/oh-my-gooooodddd-did-you-just-say-that-zen-needs

, link to c

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160691061357/i-only-replied-to-part-of-your-response-because)

When reviewing statcounter data, it’s clear that Dipshit reviews the #notes of posts and flits from one blog to another.

While this was happening, I was in conversation with user mariamagica, having seen them comment on Void’s post that they knew who was sending the anons. Considering that this was the same person who had liked my tweet about Dipshit Anon way back in April, I was curious to know what they knew and if we had any shared experiences.

It transpired that Dipshit was so well known to them and had caused them so much bother that they were able to reference them by name within a matter of seconds. They sent me this screenshot sent to the askbox of the Juminzen week blog.

Mariamagica had them blocked, but I encouraged them to get statcounter and here is their Dipshit traffic from the 15th.

A short time after this, Vess and Jun confirm that Dipshit followed them that same day.

Dipshit continues to lurk my blog.

Having gone over the events of the day, I made a post at 18:46 my time. This is a soft warning and a pre-emptive call out. Up until this point I had not said anything about Dipshit anon publicly on my tumblr, but I was running increasingly low on patience. I blocked them in February and kept the details to myself at the time, but they continued. In April, we resolved it peacefully but they continued. At this point they were on strike three.

In my post, I listed three examples of asks from Dipshit.

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160701054230/attn-mysme-fandom

These were all examples I could confidently attribute to Dipshit and as it gained so many reblogs, I gained

lot of traffic

from Dipshit

in that period.

This traffic extends to my personal blog

I received an ask

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160703102265/hi-im-not-looking-to-start-drama-and-am-here-on

(screenshot, including timestamp of receipt)

-Dipshit on my blog in that exact same time frame? Check

-Not my ask but trying to pull the high ground with me about it anyway? Check

-“Please consider the abuse victims!!1″ To a survivor? Check.

-Sending a really questionable anon in general? Check.

After my response saying that if I received any more messages I would reply with their URL, Serena got a message from Dipshit, complaining that I should apologise to their friend

for blaming them for things Dipshit had done.

This earns the biggest of sighs and rolliest of eyes from me and there are hundreds of things I could say about it, such as the sheer unlikeliness of a random mysme blogger I have never heard of before (and incidentally never blocked) showing up to send me an ask with the precise same objections as Dipshit while Dipshit is on my blog, all while having no involvement with what Dipshit is doing. Even Dipshit acknowledged they were friends and went so far as to link their Zen centric blog.

They later post the following screens to their blog, which confirm that they sent these

asks to Stars and encouraged another person to send more: 1

Also. This is what a receipt for blocking looks like.

However, if a chat is what’s going these days, here’s a chat

between the mods of JuminZen week

discussing whether or not to block

Dipshit, drafting a response and discovering they were already blocked,

as forwarded to me by mariamagica <3

I’m especially interested by the use of the word “demonise”. Demonise only makes sense in terms of me addressing Dipshit and publishing their URL, neither of which have anything to do with their friend…who up until that message was anonymous in this conversation.

User setthestarxonfire also receives two

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160705202992/hi-there-i-just-wanted-to-check-aside-from-any

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160706326042/thanks-for-your-kind-response-and-for-being-so

asks about this in much the same vein with identical phrasing. (screenshot one) (screenshot two)

You may recall I referenced user capitolscum. That is the personal of mmscum, who I was also in touch with at this time. Through the reblogs of my Attn:-Mysme fandom post, I became aware that they too had received strange anons.

As it happened, Scum had received three anonymous asks. One

, Two

and Three

(Links: One, Two and Three)

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160542799049/you-should-read-jealous-wolf-by

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160544142294/i-meant-what-isnt-his-its-a-little-odd-to-say

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160556930029/anonhave-you-read-either-of-those-fics-if-you

This prompted the following essay:- 1,

10,

11,

Which corresponded with this review on AO3 (Please zoom)

This coincides with this ask

and this response from Scum (part one and two)

It also prompted this chat (part one)(part two)

I’m including this chat for the sole reason that this is how Dipshit described it post call out

It’s unclear what exact fic Dipshit is referring to, though Scum believes the comment they’re referring to is this one, on a fic exploring Zen’s recovery as a survivor of a traumatic incident prior to the first chapter.

There’s also this post

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160144676634/i-love-my-followers-but-this-is-the-first-time

addressing negativity in fandom (screenshot here),

to which Dipshit anon responded twice (one, two)

(links)

http://mmscum.tumblr.com/tagged/vallanoble

I’m including this for the sheer ridiculousness of the fact that it happened two weeks ago and shows them discouraging their own behaviour.

Scum, post callout, received this review on the same fic

Considering both the linguistical patterns and the complaints both matched Dipshit, we did a bit of investigating and if this is a coincidence it’s a very unfortunate one.

And now we arrive at the 16th of May.

Void gets notifications from Dipshit

and their reaction

speaks for itself.

Remember this?

Void is 17. Younger than Dipshit and a minor.

I have

multiple visits

from

Dipshit that day (Is it worth me even saying it at this point? Whatever)

Here is Mariamagica’s traffic for that day (All of the ones from the university are Dipshit)

17th of May, today!

Dipshit

is active

on my blog and Void’s

(The one blacked out the most.)

Scum passes on their statcounter data to me and Dipshit is not only a visitor

but recently went through the notes of this post

http://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160736788924/mmscum-mmscum-i-love-my-followers-but-this-is

which somewhat ironically was partially inspired by their actions.

Considering this fact and the fact that they visit my blog in the wake of this reblog

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160765050395/fandom-commandments

(statcounter)

their subsequent blog post becomes slightly more interesting.

(Screenshot one)

(Screenshot two)

(link to post)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/160777864913/if-your-let-people-ship-what-they-want-uwu

It’s past midnight now and I’m about to go to bed. I have only one thing to say on this matter, however.

The adage that the internet is not your safe space is not a suggestion that it should not be safe. It means that the internet is not the safe place of any individual person. It belongs to all of us and there is going to be opinions, ships, characters etc you do not like personally. But it is NO ONE’s job to keep you safe but your own. It’s nobody else’s responsibility to write characters as you see them. It’s no one else’s job to keep the content you don’t like off your radar or create the content that you do. There’s no justification for treating real people badly over fictional things.

A few other notes post call out:-

Dipshit remains blocked. Here is a screenshot of a message they sent to me the day after I posted the call out (part one)

(part two)

from a new blog designed to collect receipts (this is not hyperbole: screen shot one

and two

). This blog has since been deleted.

I am not a shipper of Juzen and so bad behaviour within the community is not something I would know of immediately or in much depth, however:

Dipshit considers an anti Juzen week to educate the homophobic women who ship it.

This is an interesting one, as it coincides with the appearance of the blog juzenisgross, which specifically posted excerpts from Why does he do that (a book about abusive relationships and domestic violence) in the juzen tags on the first day of juzen week.

This is a loose thread on its own. However. This is the time stamp of the first post on the blog.

This is Dipshit on my blog.

Once again, possibly coincidence, but incredibly unfortunate if so.

Here is Dipshit continuing to send lengthy messages to content creators 1,

along with her refusal to blacklist tags

#mystic messenger #mysme #abuse tw

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