#ive got so much to do this term rip

[itsnicsalad]

tears of gold and ruin

[puckpocketed]

who is #43?

Hello !! First off thank u for visiting. If you clicked read more by accident rip sorry it’s a lot of text. ENJOY!!! <3

1. This was the photo reference I used. I really did mean it when i said he photographs well!! I really like how scrungly he looks at times lol. v paintable

2. here’s a timelapse for your viewing pleasure in video + gif form <3

3. Process breakdown below. I am not formally trained, so don’t take any of this as professional advice!! The way i paint has been compared to channeling some evil contract with a demon also. So um . Im saying that i dont remotely think that this is efficient or correct, its just whats comfortable for me <3

3a) the dreaded lining phase. I have 2 modes of operation when it comes to painting - either i go full-dick with fancy inking/sketching + cel shading (rare, unrefined, haven’t figured out a nice workflow yet) OR i do a very very basic chicken scratch set of lines like so:

It’s less about being realistic here and more about laying down some guide lines for the chaos ahead. If i thought i could get away with it, I would start every rendered painting i do with laying down colours — but unfortchh ive tried that before and it usually ends in really weird proportions. Even with the lines i still need to make adjustments. This is something no people except me would notice but look at the above sketch; the eyes are too big and slightly too far apart, the forehead is too small and thus the hair is also not quite big enough… I have a bad habit of drawing eyes too big on faces, they’re my favourite facial feature to draw.. i barely resisted giving him big cow eyelashes (I love big cow eyelashes… all of my OC’s and most of my more stylised fan art of characters get big cow eyelashes… god…. Big cow eyelashes SAVE ME……….)

Anyway. Structure of the face + hand somewhat established. <3

3b) Underpainting!! Okay stay with me here . Ever since i figured out i dont have to paint in 03925893853 different layers, I’ve joyfully painted on 1 layer as much as possible. I dont have the brain power all the time to be managing layers so I simply dont work with that many layers. For this painting, the skin in its entirety was painted on one layer, the hair on another layer, and the effects on the last layer. There was a placeholder background off-white/grey colour for a while there, and I duplicated the line layer — one for figuring out where to lay colours, and one hidden for later so i could check back to see how accurate to the sketch/proportions were to the actual painting. 6 layers, 2 of which i painted the bulk of the piece on, 1 more at the end.

3c) here’s where I started carving out features. I think about objects in terms of volumes and light rather than lines. i love painting and sculpting because of this!! Here you see where I’ve begun to define his features — his eyelids, his bags, his nostrils. Just refining what was there before. The suggestion of facial hair before i gave it up and left it for later (his face is so naked the WHOLE time)

3d) nose bridge highlight, suggesting his eyebrows, a cheek highlight. A touch more coral red and muted yellow pull away from the grey/blue underpainting. Strategically leaving some of it peeking through.

3e) i truly start messing with the fidelity of his features here. Red lipstick <3 and some violet/blue for shadows on the right side of his face.

3f) the part where it starts looking like q.hughes to me (though, my friend said i got his vibe pretty early on which is such a compliment.. waaaaa…..) I love this part of every painting i do. I know it’s definitely not the Correct order since other parts of the entire painting are simply Not Rendered or Done, but whos gonna stop me?? :3

I love love loveeee painting faces. Adding the little shinies to his eyes + lips + upper lip + nose … you don’t know how much of a difference it makes until you do it. Also i snatched his eyebrows

3g) i really pushed the red/coral/ochre/orange here. Note the yellow highlights on his cheekbones, the forehead, and the thin thin line of pink right between where his bottom lip ends and his chin shadow starts <- very important . To ME!!!!!!! Also highlighting his waterline and adding his lashes was so so fun <3

3h) FACIAL HAIR!!! And I started rendering his hand. Some micro adjustments made to his face for proportion check.

3i) i start painting his hair in earnest and realise his forehead is too small so i make the adjustment. I really love how it falls into his eyes in this photo. <3

3j) i make some final adjustments to his eyes — a bit smaller, closer together. And i refine the outline of his jaw, push the stylisation of it just a little.

3k) Finishing details; his flyaway hairs, his moles, a bit of texture on his face, shadows cast by his hair, his little forehead cut <3

3l) i adjusted his hand here, added more texture to his skin, refined his hair a tiny bit more, and made the decision not to fuck around painting his jersey because i wanted the focus to be his face <3

3m) Canucks blue and green. Captain at 23. His form bleeds into the background. He is the franchise.

theee most fun ive had painting anything. and i finally feel... warmed up? if that makes sense. art for me is like. if i dont do it in a while it feels like nothing goes right when i come back to it. i hate that feeling, and the most difficult hurdle to clear is letting myself feel that until i get back into my Zone. after all this time i feel like im BACK !!!!!!!

i loved painting this fella. hes SO Shaped. <3

Apologies i simply do Not have the energy to write the alt text for all of these so i hope the little blurbs are okay aslkjasdklj. i gotta post and go to bed . if u made it this far, thank you for reading!!

[a-boca-do-inferno]

i’ve been losing you (michael corleone x reader) [request]

summary: Michael is used to a lot of things. Losing’s not one of them.

warnings: angst

words: 1.0k

notes: loosely based on ive been losing you by aha, and yes i kno i kno. another songfic lol enjoy.

This was long overdue. 

They were meant to be in each other’s path, but not for long. She knew that. No matter how well they got along in the old days, rejoicing in that youthful love full of energy and innocence, there would always come the time when their personalities eventually clashed too much to make it work. His reckless and cold mind could never comport her sensitive and careful one for long. Gosh, how many dinner arguments had to happen to spoil the mood for her to just accept it already?  

There was nothing left to do with Michael Corleone. He ran an empire, yet was clueless on how to keep the woman he loved close. And a king who can’t love a queen is simply no such thing.  

(y/n) takes a deep breath and raises her fist to knock on the door, but as soon as she tries to do so, it opens on its own, revealing a somewhat disturbed Michael. He has a serious, almost mad look on his face, although his entire countenance manages to be cordial. She smiles faintly as he lets her in, closing the door behind her gracefully.  

The girl walked into his office and couldn’t help but notice how tidy everything was. Nothing out of place, not a single speck of dust on any furniture. Sometimes she wished at least something was there; it’d make the place feel less...  

Michael’s.  

“You said you were staying at you mother’s”, he begins, hiding his hand in the front pockets of his pants. “What happened?”, his tone is stern, as ever, and she can’t help but contain a sigh. (y/n) clasped her hands over her stomach, feeling a little cool. She wasn’t exactly there for some hugging and cuddling, after all, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Noticing the shift in her behaviour, Michael murmurs, “(y/n)…”, and the girl turns to face him. He wore a white button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His brown hair was brushed back, no unruly strands fell to the sides. He was so handsome and put together. How in the world did they even end up together in the first place? Michael’s eyes were a little concerned when he demanded, coming closer to her, “tell me what’s the matter.” 

“Nothing”, she said, looking away when he seemed to disapprove of her blatant lie. (y/n) added, “there is nothing wrong, we just... We need to talk.” 

“About what?”, he gestures with one hand. “You’re making me worried”, she let out another deep sigh. This was going to be harder than she thought. Michael took an impatient step forward and gave her a questioning glance, lowering his eyes to her restless fingers. “Well?” 

“I can’t do… this anymore”, she couldn’t face him, counting the scratches of the floorboards under her feet. “Us.” 

There is a long silence before Michael speaks again. “(y/n)...”, he starts, closing the distance between them while gently taking her hand in his, bringing it to his lips. He placed a lingering kiss on her knuckles and she instantly flinched at the gesture, taking her hand back. He gave her a pained look. “What’s going on, darling?” 

“Michael, please...”, she whispered, trying her best to maintain her composure. “Don’t make this any harder than it already is.” 

“You’re leaving me?”, he rips the band-aid, and it sounds somehow even more painful when she hears it out loud. “Is that it?”, Michael insists, and she desperately looks for the emotions on his face only to find none.  

This. This was what she couldn’t take anymore. 

“I am”, (y/n)’s voice is final, as the lump on her throat takes a step back to give way for her assertiveness. That decision was made already, she merely wanted to let him know. “I know I’m hurting you, but you too know damn well there is no “us” anymore, Michael.  There is only the family business, and I came to terms with it at last. I finally understood I can’t be part of this.” 

“So, is that it?”, he repeats, but it’s clear he’s not looking for an answer. “You just wake up one day and decide to throw our family, our children, our love away? You just leave when it gets hard?”, he menacingly takes one more step closer, with almond eyes forcefully staring at the girl. “Is that it?!”, then it comes; the scream.  

And the sound is so otherworldly coming from Michael’s mouth, (y/n) has to reassure herself of her surroundings for a moment, to truly know if this is reality. Then, after the silence, there is only his look of despair towards her. She knows him well enough to understand he is distressed but won’t allow himself to engage any further in that subject for now. He is too emotional about this. Perhaps that was why Michael kept away from her more and more every day. The Don wouldn’t have his heart dictating his actions, in business or in love, and the two were helplessly intertwined when it came to his life.  

“I’m leaving”, she murmurs, holding her own body protectively. “You can visit the children whenever you want, we will be staying at my mother’s for the time being”, they exchange a piercing look. (y/n) avoids his eyes. “I love you, Michael, I truly do. But we both deserve better.” 

“This isn’t over, (y/n)”, it’s all Michael lets out, while turning his back to light up a cigarette. He blows away the smoke and nods once, pointing to the door. “Go.” 

She obeys him, because it’s so much easier to do so than to keep fighting. Before (y/n) leaves, she can’t help but think he would make her life a living hell. A shiver goes up her spine as the door shuts behind her. Michael Corleone may not be fit for a king, but he wasn’t a losing man either. She was painfully aware of that.  

“God help us all”, she mumbles to herself, walking away from the Corleone mansion for the last time. 

Or so she hoped. 

[poxy-domain]

big fat May post, my main sve farmer!!! art is May over the years, ive talked about her here before briefly but not much

rest of the post under the cut is essentially her backstory, it ended up being WAY longer than i thought it would be though so be warned lol

basic run down of her life pre-farm, is she was average in every sense of the word essentially. she basically had nothing exceptional going for her. she lived in the suburbs outside of zuzu city for a majority of her childhood before going to a cheap 2 year college and eventually working at joja. however, she knew nobody at zuzu city nor was she good at socializing at all. it basically caused her to become a hermit, she would hardly ever go outside aside to go to work and she had a terrible sleep schedule as well as diet, she was overworked and underpaid at joja so she couldn't afford much good or healthy food (she also picks up sign language as a way to avoid social interaction after a while). after basically 4 years of this, she decides to read her grandpa's letter and boom!!! stardew plot happens

she started off kinda terrible at farming ngl, like may legit grew up in peak urban area and she saw barely any plant life, now you expect bro to be a farmer?? LMFAO funny joke bro. having a hard time breaking out of her former hermit lifestyle, she barely talks to anyone outside of small talk with lewis, marnie, pierre, and robin, and those 4 are only because its essential for her job, and lewis is because he knew her grandfather. yippie!!! she went out to the country to start a new life and it really isn't that different from her lonely, sad, former one!!!! may was initially hoping this move would be a cure for all her problems, but seeing that she's still the same person as before, and doesn't have a magical effortless personality glow up does go thru a sort of arc of resenting herself. other villagers try to talk to her but she doesn't really try to manage anything further than small talk. She does have a sort of mutual understanding with sebastian because of both of their introverted natures, as well as geeky interests that may especially got into over her years of being a social recluse. 

This all changes when she gets into the adventurers guild, and i mean actually get into it, when marlon first offered for her to adventure into the caves full of monsters, she initially brushed it off thinking he was exaggerating. “monsters were just some made up story that only existed years and years ago, they’re practically extinct now!” which was basically may’s thought process, as the city intentionally covers up any news coverage related to any magical or monster related topics. may learns this is very much not the truth the hard way. rip bozo, deserved tbh. After this encounter, she starts frequenting the caves much more often for the adrenaline rush, a way to escape the thoughts plaguing her that she really needed to fix herself, not just her environment. She frequents the guild for more supplies and ends up talking (generous term for her nods and hm’s) more to marlon and gil. At first the two of them do wonder about her quietness, but they’re both used to eccentric characters from other guilds so they’re not too bothered by it. marlon even picks up on some sign language for her to use with him when she doesn’t want to talk. The wizard also becomes quite used to her behavior, being even more accustomed to unconventional characters, he even knows sign language so she primarily uses it to talk to him!! may finally finds people more like her in the form of adventurers and mages, it sort of clicks in her head when she starts to learn a bit of magic with rasmodius. her love for the adrenaline rush of adventuring turns to a genuine love of adventuring itself. She also meets krobus and IMMEDIATELY clicks with him, and spends a dubious amount of time in the sewers because of it (the villagers start giving her weird looks for going into the sewers so much so she starts going in through the forest entrance). bro smells terrible. by her second year in stardew, krobus and may end up becoming roommates. he doesn’t mind her silence, though she does become comfortable talking to him more often. 

Also i wanted to show in the art of her getting progressively more muscular from her work as well as tanner, if any y’all notice her scars forming over the years kudos to u lol. She also cuts her hair year 4 but decides to grow it out again by year 7.. i should also prooooobably address her relationship with lance, considering she does get married to him later on. but i kiiinnddaaa wanna write a small fic about that ngl. i will work up to it or write another post on this later lol. but this is getting too long so i’ll end it at year 3. also she totally fucks with isaac. she may be quiet and socially inept but she fucks with people sooo much. devious in nature

[maxwell-grant]

I'm curious for your thoughts on Dan Hibiki

Dan is real special to me mainly because he was the first time I actually had fun cosplaying, in terms of putting the outfit together and attending the event. I was very young at the time but he was my second cosplay, with the first technically being Bison the year before but I barely remember going as Bison and the costume was basically rented whole, where as with Dan I actually had to take the time to put him together peacemeal.

Looking for shitty ponytails and testing out hair gels and glue to get that doofy spit curl right, ruining a judo gi by cutting the sleeves and dying it pink, painting the eyebrows and kanji in the back and practicing those dumb faces and animations of his, and I was really happy that day with the reception I got. Best part of that day by far was when they were doing this cosplay wrestling thing where people could sign up to enter the ring, and I got to really ham it up with the taunts and pratfalls and Dan-isms I memorized from heart (and I did play the fucker a lot in SSFIV, not even ironically, his Hurricane Kick and normals were really solid in IV) and just, one of the most fun times I ever had. I think of Dan pretty fondly for that if nothing else.

Although frankly I think I like him a little less nowadays than I used to, mainly because a lot of the other characters grew on me more or got better redesigns over the years where as Dan's just, Dan, and Dan's always gonna be Dan, no more no less, little room for improvement because he was just kinda perfect at what he set out to do from the go. I think some of that also has to do with the fact that he pulled Blanka big time into his joke character orbit for well over a decade and I'm not really a fan of that? Idk it definitely got better with 5 and especially 6, just for a while there Blanka's role as being primarily Dan and Sakura's dumb sidekick really sucked and made me resent them a little, still can't say I'm too big a fan even if he doesn't take a backseat to them as much anymore.

Dan becoming essentially one of the co-protagonists of Street Fighter over the years I think has a lot to do with the devs figuring out over the decades that there was a lot more they could do with the character, besides taking potshots at SNK (and honestly in that regard, I feel like Remy does it better, in spite or maybe because they don't play him as a joke on purpose). And I do think Dan has several legs up other fighting game joke characters and not just because he came first, not just because he's funny, but because he's filling in some important niches and they ground him in just enough legitimacy, from a lore and gameplay perspective, that he's worth bringing back. Dan is a joke, but he is also important, in his own way, he's an important character for Street Fighter to have.

If your setting and story are defined as a gathering of the greatest fighters and representatives of martial arts and countries the world over, you kinda do have to address what does a Bad Fighter, The Worst Fighter, representing The Worst Martial Arts, looks like, and basing it on "the guys that ripped us off" is the icing on the gag. Both Dan and Sakura were designed around parodies of the Art of Fighting characters, but they did the right call in assigning Yuri Sakazaki's childish braggart antics to Dan and letting Sakura be treated more seriously.

As much as I may complain that Dan dragged Blanka into the funnyman idiot orbit, Dan's existence prevents a lot of other characters from becoming parodies of themselves (more so than they became, at least), at minimum it definitely pumped the breaks on Blanka and Sakura from doing that because, no matter what, they'd always have to suck less than Dan, because nobody (cept maybe Rufus) is allowed to suck more than Dan (I feel like Sean's joke status was a total misfire, but more on him when I got to Sean).

Dan also works because he's got a legitimate backstory and motivation to be here, and to be the way he is: His father was the one to take out Sagat's eye and Sagat mauled him to death in the ring for it, and desperately driven to take revenge, he took up training under Ryu and Ken's master Gouken until being expelled when Gouken learned his true intentions (and the last time a man with power-hungry intentions was trained in Ansatsuken, Akuma happened), and so Dan had to fill out the rest of his training on his own, which is why his playstyle is the way it is, why he's like Ryu but bad. Dan fills out the other end of a scale occupied by the prior shotos, the worst practicioner there is, the lame and pathetic counterpart to Ryu and Ken opposite Akuma as the strongest. Akuma is Bad Ryu, and Dan is Bad Ryu but in a totally opposite sense. He had symmetry with the existing characters and his backstory was treated with as much seriousness as he can be allowed to have, which isn't much most of the time, but just enough.

Dan being a joke from an in-universe also wound up lending a lot of meaning to Sagat's character arc, because Dan became the catalyst for Sagat's redemption. Sagat was confronted by this pathetic fool wholly consumed by revenge and struggling fruitlessly to defeat a stronger martial artist, and he saw himself in Dan, himself and his obsession with Ryu and the lows he'd stooped to in order to achieve that revenge, and so he lets Dan win, giving Dan his one and only victory that we know of. Sagat, at his lowest point emotionally in the series, who is still supremely prideful and regal and very much not a nice man even as a hero.

The strongest man alive letting the weakest man beat him in a fight to save said man from ending up just like him. If it was against anyone else, it wouldn't be anywhere near as meaningful, but starting the supremely prideful and mighty Sagat's redemption arc by having him realize the futility of his vendetta and let himself get beaten by Dan of all people, The Final Boss letting The Joke Character humiliate him, I think was a very inspired choice.

Much as I enjoy his characterization, I do miss a little how Dan was depicted sometimes in the Alpha series, where he'd be treated with a little more seriousness. Like in the backstory blurb describing how Gou died and how Dan still wakes up with nightmares about it, or in Sakura Ganbaru where Dan's kind of a comedic straightman to Sakura and they take some steps to show that Dan IS knowledgeable and observant about ki and martial arts, and is even pretty good at beating average fighters in local circuits; it's just he's Dan, y'know, and all his hard work and self-mythologizing can't make up for his incomplete training, ego issues and him hanging around Sakura and Blanka, who are freakishly talented and either quickly surpass his teachings or, in Blanka's case, never actually need it.

I don't like the Udon comics very much but I do think they get this right, I like the emphasis they put on Dan having a genuinely impressive ability to take a beating and playing up Dan as a guy who gets up to all these offscreen adventures and picked up all these other skills to make up for his incomplete training (and him becoming Chairman of the CWA I thought was pretty inspired). It nicely reflects what the games have done with him, where he's always showing off new skills and moves added to his playstyle, his fireballs get a little farther and stronger every game (and he doesn't fling himself back when firing them anymore), some characters even comment on his progress and potential. Dan is a joke by World Warrior standards, but by regular person or fighter standards, he can be impressive.

And I think Dan also stuck around the way he did because there's a certain necessity for a character who pokes holes at the premise and mythology, not just a comic relief for levity sake but someone who's there to help the writing avoid the pitfalls of excessive self-seriousness. A character who's an absurd cartoon of a martial artist but not in the cool badass way all the other characters are absurd cartoons of martial artists, instead someone who's kinda lame and full of himself the way that, really, most martial artists, especially self-taught, can be. Everyone on Street Fighter, no matter how nice they are as people or what truly motivates them, is joining the tournament sure that their martial arts are the strongest and that they can and will make their way to the top by beating all the other inferior fighters standing in their way. Dan is like that, it's just that nobody takes him seriously for it. He may not even be the funniest joke character in fighting games, but nobody takes as incisive a punchline to the genre as Dan.

Dan, in his own right, does represent an important, maybe even the most important, facet of martial arts there is: the kind that everyone does when they start out or just don't bother growing as people or fighters. In my experience, myself very much not excluded, the gyms and dojos of the world are full of Dan Hibikis trying to be something more by mythologizing themselves into former losers turned invincible fighting machine blowhards the minute they learn how to kick above their heads or take a punch in the gut, whose training is perpetually incomplete, who think they get to teach others, and who go out there thinking they'll get to show off that invincibility any second now and that once everyone sees how badass these karate chops are, or how much ass I can kick when playing Smash Bros or KOF or Street Fighter, I'll show em all how cool I am, just you mess with me and I'll show you my flying kick WA-TCHAAA! *miss* HUP, WORYEEAAHH *crash*

[radroller]

HANK PYM COSTUME RATINGS

At long last, here are my thoughts on the many looks and identities of Marvel’s own Hank Pym!!! Being a fan of this guy is a real rollercoaster, but his costumes are always so great and interesting, ive wanted to talk about them for ages!!! As some of his looks kinda blend together Ive tried to stick with the bare essentials (barring ones i especially like) but you can generally assume that i rate most of the suits of a given identity the same unless i specifically state otherwise. So here we go!!!!!

Ant-Man 10/10

What can i say? You can’t make an ant themed character much cooler than this. The irresistible 60s scifi charm of his big chrome helmet, the red, black, and blue color scheme with patterns that say “i am a super scientist” but gloves that say “im attemptint to look visually interesting.” Naturally Hank forgets he’s wearing some of the coolest headgear in comics. Ant-Man has had some good looks and updates but the charm of this one is pretty undeniable.

Giant Man 8/10

I think we can all agree that Giant Man kinda sucks, but damn if he didnt look cool! I guess he kept the antennae to keep some Ant-Man functionality, but you rarely see him using it. That’s fine though, it gives him a cool and distinct silhouette. It’s strange, if this were a new look for him as Ant Man, id call it a more considerable downgrade, yet Hank becoming Giant Man is a downgrade in just about every sense of the word. And even so, i LOVE Giant Man! It’s a conundrum!

Giant Man Redux: 6/10

I think they were trying to recapture the scifi tech charm of Ant-Man with this one, and it does kinda work! I think my main issue with this one is that it doesnt stick around long enough to really win me over. There are far more minor and insignificant variations of Hank’s suits that stick around way longer than this one. And id say this suit’s pretty damn significant, he left the Avengers for the the first time wearing this shit! I wish they’d played around with it some more.

Goliath: 8/10

Goliath is extremely solid. I have to wonder if Marvel was conscious of Giant Man being a loser that they felt the need to rebrand him like this, there’s little significant changeover from his previous identity other than color scheme and name besides him being stuck at 10 ft tall for a bit. I LOVE the addition of the goggles btw, one of my earliest exposures to that design trope i love so much.

The weird thing with Goliath is that they make him look more and more like Giant Man while refusing to change his name. Like again i know the guy got his ass best plenty of times but when you add antennae and red to his costume….that’s just Giant Man! But whatever the case, i give Goliath and all of his iterations a solid thumbs up.

Yellowjacket: 10/10

The PINNACLE as far as im concerned. What if you took Ant-Man and refined his charming but clunky scifi elements into something sleek, aerodynamic, and downright badass, while still having bright colors? You get Yellowjacket! I can’t stress how much i loved this suit as a kid. Do you know how rare it is to have a primarily yellow superhero who looks cool? It’s mostly just Wolverine, and he didn’t even exist at this point! I also like how it sorta resembles Wasp’s original outfit, though you probably wouldn’t get a chance to compare given Jan’s ever shifting wardrobe. It’s really a shame how maligned the Yellowjacket identity is because id love to see this design again, but its lasting association with the worst shit ever done with Hank pretty much made sure that’ll never happen.

West Coast Avengers: -/10

It’s funny that what is arguably the height of Hank’s superhero career comes from when he’s vehemently not a superhero anymore. Thus, in terms of costumes…well this isnt a costume! But for what it is, it’s great. A nice practical super science getup. But i have trouble rating it on the same scale as the rest. Just know that I love it!

90s Hank: 5/10

I was ready to rip this thing a new one, but tbh it isnt bad. The only thing that keeps it from being truly good is the stupid pouches, but i cant outright call it bad when it’s basically a worse version of Atlas from Thunderbolts’ costume without them. It’s passable.

Giant Man???: 10/10

Yeah, I know. Confusing, isnt it? Well listen, regardless of names and costumes and what have you, this is by far my favorite variation on the original Goliath look. The red goggles just do it for me! I love primary color schemes and i prefer a touch of red to a touch of yellow, yknow?

Goliath??????: 8/10

So NOW he can be Goliath. That makes perfect sense. Yeesh. This suit is cool though i like it. It’s based on a Goliath suit Jan designed for Hank, but by then he’d had become Yellowjacket, so Hawkeye became Goliath for a while instead. It’s a nice callback, and while I don’t actually care for that Goliath look, there’s no way a redesign by George Perez at the height of his career and abilities is gonna be anything less than great.

Wasp: 7/10

Was Mighty Avengers good? I read a couple of issues and remembered enjoying it, but that was when i hated every other Avengers book do idk if that means it was actually good, yknow? Anyway while losing Jan as the Wasp and gaining Hank is about as big a net loss as i can think of, this is NOT a bad look. There are only a few gripes i feel: I get what they were going for with the design on his chest but it makes him look like he’s The Stickbug and not The Wasp. Secondly, i think the goggles are kinda lame compared to some of his other eye/headwear he’s sported throughout the years. That’s about it! Not bad for the worst Wasp in the main continuity!

[succulentlesbians]

"I should send an ask for the nice reply i got" Brain: Windows dial up noise. Anyway, hi, hello! :D thanks so much for your reply, it made me feel emotions and now im sueing for damages <3 YELENA WAS GONNA RUN FROM THE RED ROOM TO BE WITH DAISY??????? pain. suffering. a g o n y. im now imagining an au where she did manage to escape actually. they are happy and young and free and being goofy. yelena keeps them safe and daisy keeps them hidden. canon. to me.

omg young skye and yelena together would be so fun. sorry for your agony that they couldn't, i am similarly distraught. was thinking about writing a prequel (can you believe the audacity, i haven't even finished the sequel yet) about them but the emotional devastation of having to rip them apart would absolutely kill me so we shall see about that.

yeah the whole assassination thing was something that i hadn't fully considered in terms of what skye would be cool with when i offhandedly wrote that oneshot. i'd now imagine that yelena would have deliberately misled her for as long as she could (ie. "help me break in here for this information and no that people died wasn't me, it was a coincidence lol") and that skye was kinda naive and really wanted to believe that she was just stealing info and similar things. yelena at first was just using her as a resource and prob knew like yeah skyenet is cool with this sort of stuff only. but i think skye kinda charmed her and they kept talking and talking until yelena was like oh shit i care about you and you made me believe in the good in this world and i dont want to do this anymore. and skye after a bit maybe was wavering btwn like hmm i can read between the lines here, im not stupid, but also ive talked to you so much and i believe that you are good and i believe that you dont have to do this and then she learns about the actual situation that yelena is in with the red room? and shes like oh youre a whole ass victim. this is not your fault.

and yeah a situation where skye has to choose to save yelena over someone else (a target?) or something? bc the red room would kill her? could be both a demonstration of love but also kinda jarring for skye to make that decision and so even moreso something for yelena to be like omg skye cares about me so much. good god anon you're giving me ideas.

anyway. yelena coming out of the red room. im thinking she sorta tracked daisy while she was there, in a way where she was keeping tabs on the rising tide, shield etc. she doesn't want to draw interest to daisy after all but she wants her to be safe and to know about her. when she gets out, literally the only support she has could be daisy or natasha and she thinks that natasha abandoned her. she literally does not have a good relationship with a single other person in the world. she was in the red rooms hands since she was a Baby (this is so sad). so yeah theres a lot of courage that she has to reach out to daisy when she hasn't been heard from in ten years and to try and trust that she'll help, but there is absolutely a sense of 'i have no one else.' daisy is her first and basically only stop. but also. daisy taught her how to live once. and i think that absolutely she was thinking, oh daisy can help me figure out life. And! also being like hey, wtf is daisy up to shes kinda going crazy and maybe she needs help too. (this all being on top of, she just wants to see daisy again). so many reasons.

they are absolutely pairbonded kittens.

this is them. i don't make the rules. if i separate them again... you have my permission to kill me.

tysm for your ask and support, you're giving me so much motivation and thoughts to write about. i'm so glad you enjoyed the fic!

[lilpunkrock]

where you go (i will go) — iv

Summary: A visit to the Dreaming brings about new revelations and confrontations.

Pairing: Dream of the Endless x f!reader

Words: 5.5k+

AN: Originally posted to my other account, @alittlepunkrock, I'm now uploading this to my second blog because my main is having some issues. RIP. I've mapped this story out to be a good 15-20 parts, so I hope you all will come along on this journey with me! Thanks so much - part v will be up soon!

series masterlist // mood board // ao3

. . .

“I flew solo most of the way,

Until you popped up and got in the way;

And I mean that line in a good way.”

    - hazel inside, blackbear

. . .

Part iv

“Let go,” he growls, pressing down on your throat harder. The hot tears clouding your vision are growing dark and blurry, the room around you dimming in spite of the smoldering fire beside you. You blink, trying to clear them away, but they don’t leave this time around. They persist, crawling inward, inching over your sight. The anxiety in your chest rises to a new pitch. You feel your body try to hyperventilate, only to choke on the emptiness in your lungs.

Something at the edge of your awareness calls to you, encourages you to do as he says and just let go. The rest of you bucks and rebels against it, fighting tooth and nail to hold on. Even in this moment, in spite of all that’s happening, you’re not ready to go. Not ready to leave him. You had so much to look forward to, so many plans. So much love to give. You were ready to give him it all.  It was all happening tomorrow.

The chaos in your chest reaches a fever pitch. Your heart hollows out at the thought that there will be no tomorrow for you.

As darkness envelopes what’s left of your vision, you feel his hot breath on your face one last time. “I don’t want you anymore.”

. . .

When mortals think of heartbreak, their minds typically turn to thoughts of star-crossed lovers, of loved ones lost, of relationships ended on bitter terms. As you creep through the small motel room you’ve found yourself in, tip-toeing around empty liquor bottles and haphazardly tossed cigarette butts toward the sleeping figure in front of you, you understand that heartbreak comes in many forms. You see it in the way the man sleeps slumped over in his chair, his hair unkempt, skin pale and sweaty, face covered in a gritty stubble. You feel the heartbreak in the way his fingers twitch for drink, seeking the comfort of a glass bottle even in slumber. Heartbreak is the fact that he sits in this dark motel room alone, though you can see a picture of himself, a kind-faced woman, and two young boys glowing on his phone’s lock screen. They looked happy.

Your eyes settle on the withering white, red, green, and orange attachments trailing from his heart, across the litter-strewn floor, under the motel door, and out into the night. A pale halo of blue philautia stutters around him. The solid black thread pulsing out of his chest is darker than all the shadows in the room.

Your heart sours at the sight. Ever since your assignments had been dropped at your door at midnight, you’d been flitting across the globe, trying to finish your daily duties before sunrise. Today was the day Matthew was to take you to see Morpheus in the Dreaming, and you wanted to be ready for him. The sight of the black attachment makes you all the more eager for your visit with the Dream Lord.

“Come here,” you whisper as you take the pale philia, eros, storge, and pragma threads in your hands. You hold them gently as you take a moment to ponder your choice of action. “When you wake, call your wife and sons. Be honest with them. Your wife has already found the help you need, but she’s waiting for you to love yourself enough to take it.” You pause, wetting your dry lips. Your fingers shift to trail over the weak glow of philautia surrounding him. “You may not feel you’re worthy of love. I know. But you are. You don’t have to do this alone. Accept the love they have for you. Let it sow the seed for you to love yourself again.”

As your voice trails away, the rainbow of attachments solidify and shine. The black thread remains, but seems less daunting when surrounded by a halo of radiant colors. You smile softly, pleased with your work. In the back of your mind, though, you fear it won’t be enough. What if Desire’s attachment overcomes what you’ve done?

Staring at the black thread before you, an unsettling air creeps through the room. The back of your neck prickles, hairs rising as you get the eerily distinct feeling that you and the mortal are not alone. That you’re being watched.

You spin around hastily, eyes sweeping the shadows of the room. But nothing, or no one, is there. You jump slightly at a low rumble arising beside you, only to exhale in relief when you realize the man has begun to snore quietly. With a shake of your head, you glance over the room again. Though no one else is here, you still can’t deny what your body is feeling. The sense that something is wrong.

With a run of your fingertips over the next set of names on your list, you slip into a new part of the world. The sensation slips away with it.

. . .

“Hey, uh, Lady Love? It’s me, Matthew. Remember, the talking raven? Can you let me in, please?”

“Matthew!” you exclaim with a grin. At the sound of his sharp beak tapping on your kitchen window, you toss your fantasy novel aside and jump out of your chair. Always eager to be part of the action, Theo slips between your feet as you hustle to the window. With an appropriate “Oh shit–,” you stumble forward, narrowly catching yourself on the kitchen window sill. Matthew’s large, dark eyes blink at you in surprise. With a laugh, you open the window, righting yourself as the messenger raven steps inside. “Sorry about that. Guess I should have left the window open for you, shouldn’t I?”

Matthew ruffles his feathers, stretching his wings after the long journey. You note that a new pouch of sand is tied to his leg. “Oh no, you’re fine. Honestly, I’m just glad you were awake. I told the boss– or, uh, Lord Morpheus that you might still be resting. It’s pretty early.”

Your eyes slide over to the clock on your stove, noting the time there. He’s right – it’s just barely past six in the morning, but you’d been up for hours. You were sure you’d never finished your daily assignments as fast as you had today. And without coffee, no less. It really was a shame Cliff didn’t open until seven.

As you finish setting up Theo’s food, water, and toys for the day, you make idle conversation. “So, ‘Dream?’ ‘Boss?’ That’s some friendly language. You and Dream Lord must be pretty close.”

Matthew’s dark beak inclines slightly, his inky chest feathers fluffing with pride. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. I mean, like I said, I’m basically his best friend. Besides Loosh. Funny, when I first came along, he didn’t even want me around.”

You give Matthew a friendly grin as you finish lacing your canvas sneakers. ‘“Sometimes the people we don’t expect to need are the ones who become the most important to us.”

Matthew seems to cock his feathered head in contemplation. You extend your arm to him, and he hops on with a flutter. “Huh. You know, I like that. That’s pretty good. The next time he tells me he can handle something himself, I’ll be sure to use that one.” Your laugh rings through your quiet townhome, and Matthew ruffles his wings appreciatively. “Are you ready?” he asks.

“Yes,” you breathe. You’d be lying if you said that your trip to the Dreaming wasn’t all you’d been thinking of for the past two days. Not only were you eager to get onto your partnership with the Dream Lord for the sake of your Realm, you were incredibly curious to see his work crafting dreams and nightmares. How did one create something so intimate, so unique to each individual, so limitless? Maybe you’d end the day with a better idea of what was going on in that tousled head of his.

“Alright, then. Matthew, Grand Messenger Raven of Dream of the Endless, first class provider of transportation, at your service.” With a caw, Matthew dips his head and snips the sand pouch on his leg with a flourish. Sand spills to your feet, settling for only a moment before it jumps to life. The vortex that forms around you is becoming more familiar, the fierce winds that whip around you less startling than your first go around. In spite of this, you still find yourself closing your eyes when the sand starts to skim your cheeks.

When the winds have died and you hear the sand whisper against the floor, you open your eyes to find yourself in the Library of Dreams. Though you’ve seen it before, its majesty is not lost on you. A slow smile warms your face as you turn in a slow circle, drinking in the sight. “This place is incredible,” you murmur.

Matthew hops from your arm to perch on a tall stack of books sitting on one of the tables. “Yeah, I guess it is pretty awesome if you like books and all. Which, by the look on your face, I’m guessing you do. I wasn’t much of a reader in my life as a human, but I’m gaining a better appreciation for them now,” Matthew says. Though his face gives nothing away, you can hear the grin in his voice. The sound of soft footsteps sound behind you, and Matthew’s attention flicks that way. “Hey, Loosh!”

You spin to find Lucienne emerging from one of the breaks in bookshelves behind you. Each room is filled with so many books that the spaces between the shelves are almost camouflaged. Her dark eyes smile as they land on you. “Ah, Miss Love. Welcome back to the Dreaming.” Her dark lips pull upwards, her expression open and kind. “I trust your journey went smoothly?”

“Oh, yes. Matthew is an excellent escort. And I’m getting used to all the sand.”

“I’m quite glad to hear that. Such an acclimation will serve you well here.” You chuckle softly, watching as she places a fresh stack of books on the table beside you. “Lord Morpheus is attending to some business with Mervyn, the palace’s custodian. One of our resident dreams, Fashion Thing, appears to have spilled a blood and perrier cocktail in the main hall. Quite the mess.” She shakes her head tenderly, obviously amused. “He should be finished shortly. Perhaps you’d like to peruse my library in the meantime?”

The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them. “Oh, absolutely.” Lucienne smiles widely, a glimpse of bright white teeth peeking through her lips. “Matthew, please inform Lord Morpheus of Miss Love’s arrival,” she requests. At her instruction, Matthew caws a, “Yes, ma’am!” and takes flight toward the colossal stained-glass doors at the end of the long hall. Meanwhile, Lucienne beckons you farther into the library, away from the throne room.

“As I informed you at your last visit, this is the Library of Dreams. The dreams and events of every human life reside here, as well as the stories they invent, published and unpublished,” Lucienne explains, her bespectacled eyes drifting over the bookshelves with adoration. “I am the keeper of them all. The entire library is organized by century and alphabetically by last name. It makes it quite easy for myself, Lord Morpheus, and any other guest to find whatever record they like.”

You nod, lips parted in awe as your gaze moves from the stories of floors above you to the long bookshelf beside you. At the top of the shelf, you find an iron signpost reading “1500s - S.” Within moments, your eyes land on the book you’re looking for, the name embossed on the thick spine in gold lettering: William Shakespeare. “Shakespeare,” you murmur, fingers slipping the book from its shelf and thumbing through the pages. “Now, this guy and I have been through some times together. He made my job easy in some ways.” You laugh, eyes drifting over the countless thoughts, stories, and dreams recorded in Shakespeare’s book. “And maybe harder in some others.”

“Oh, yes. Lord Morpheus paid a special visit to Shakespeare in his youth, inspiring two plays in particular. Lord Morpheus has been instrumental in the inspiration and success of playwrights, composers, writers, and other dreamers all throughout history.”

A small smile graces your lips as your fingers close Shakespeare’s record gently. Your mind ponders all the artists that you yourself have encountered throughout the years, so many of them inspired by love, both reciprocated and unrequited. Bach, Mozart, Austen, Goethe, and so many more. Perhaps you and the Dream Lord’s paths had crossed more times throughout history than you’d thought.

“As I said, Miss Love, my library holds all records of mortals from the dawn of time. Perhaps you should like to take a trip down memory lane with your own volu–”

“No.” The exclamation is out of your mouth before you can reign it back in. Your eyes snap to Lucienne, register the surprised look on her face. You hastily try to stamp down the rising panic in your chest, to smooth your strained expression into something more neutral. A weak laugh escapes you as you try to play off the outburst. “Ah, sorry, Lucienne, but that won’t be necessary. It’s impossible, in fact. I don’t recall my mortal name. I don’t recall anything about my mortal life, really. I lost all of that when I became what I am today.”

Liar.

Lucienne’s face softens, her dark eyebrows furrowing. “Oh, Miss Love, I’m terribly sorry. I did not mean to overstep–”

You raise your hands hastily, shaking your head. You can’t deny the guilt that gnaws at your heart in the wake of your dishonesty, but you press onward. “No, please don’t apologize. There’s really no need. You didn’t know.”

Just as you’re trying to find some avenue of conversation to change the subject, the towering doors to the throne room slowly creek open. Your attention turns, grasping the distraction like a lifeline. With Matthew perched on one cloaked shoulder, Morpheus sweeps through the doorway, walking past the many reading tables to approach you and Lucienne. As he draws nearer, you can’t help but notice the same distinct feeling you did during your first visit to the Dreaming. A hum against your skin, a whisper in the air, a pull in your chest. Having seen him in the Waking World and the Realm of Attachment now, you realize just how potent his presence is in the Dreaming. Some distant part of your mind absentmindedly wonders if you give off a similar presence in your own Realm.

When he comes to a stop a few steps away, Morpheus dips his head slightly in a polite welcome. “Greetings, Love, Deity of the Realm of Attachment,” he murmurs, his voice a rumbling timber in the expansive library. He lifts his head, blue eyes catching yours. “I trust that Lucienne made for excellent company while you waited.”

You nod earnestly, smiling brightly at Lucienne. Though she returns the gesture, you can still glimpse a lingering apology in her eyes. “Yes, thank you. Lucienne was just showing me around her library. It’s extraordinary.”

“Indeed.” With a gesture of his hand, Matthew lifts off Morpheus’s shoulder to land on a lamp by Lucienne. The Dream Lord takes a step closer to you, his long cloak sweeping the floor near your sneakers. “I regret to interrupt your exploration of the library, but we have much to accomplish before dark. It is time for us to go.”

“Alright, Dream Lord. Lead the way.”

Today, when you catch a glimmer in his eye, you’re not so sure it’s simply a trick of the light. “We shall take a shortcut today,” he says. In a flourish, he grabs the long tail of his black cloak and sweeps it over the two of you. As the fabric flutters around you, a gasp passes over your lips. Because you were right the other day - within the Dream Lord’s cloak lives an endless expanse of cosmos. Stars twinkle all around you in the midst of deep navy, a particularly dark ripple of space snaking through the sky above you. The Milky Way. The constellations glimmering around you feel close enough to touch.

Just as quickly as you found yourself in the midst of a night sky, you find yourself exiting it. As Morpheus’s cloak ripples around you, sunlight pierces through the darkness. When the night scene is swept away, you find yourself standing on the black sandy beaches of the Dreaming. The sky of Dream Country, so bright and blue during your last visit, is softer today. The sun peeks through the thinly overcast sky, casting the clouds in muted shades of warm gold. A gentle breeze slips over the waters surrounding the Dreaming, carrying the refreshing scent of saltwater to your nose.

“This is where you go to craft dreams and nightmares?” you ask, following Morpheus’s dark form as he leads you toward the shoreline. As you approach the water, the black sand becomes speckled with dark beachrock. Its surface is slick and uneven under your canvas sneakers, and you pointedly step around the rocks to keep from falling.

“It is.” Morpheus comes to a stop just before the sand transitions into beachrock entirely. You halt beside him. The waves lap up onto the shore, nearly close enough to lick the tips of your shoes. A glance downward reveals small shells in a variety of hues nestled into the nooks where the sand meets the beachrock, tiny flecks of color amidst the dark. A tan sand crab scuttles out of a pit in the rock, hustling up the beach toward the sand. You smile at the sight. “The solitude permits me to think uninterrupted, and I find that the vastness of the ocean puts me in a productive headspace for crafting.”

You nod thoughtfully as your eyes survey the waters. He’s right – standing here on the edge of everything, anything seems possible. “So, how do you start?”

The Dream Lord remains silent for a moment, his blue eyes trained on the shifting waves before you. Then, he murmurs, “It all starts with an idea.”

You consider making some kind of teasing quip, an “of course it does,” but pause. Instead, you say, “Tell me more.”

Morpheus tucks his chin between the lapels of his cloak, closing his eyes in contemplation. When he speaks, it’s with the voice of something ancient, a tradesman with eons of experience, a master of his craft. An Endless. “It all starts with an idea. What does humanity require? What may the Dreaming offer them? What shall prompt them to thrive, what shall prompt them to learn? Dreams are meant to bestow joy, fantasy, inspiration, and hope. They are a reprieve from the Waking World, a safe haven where weary humans find rest. Nightmares, too, are meant to serve humanity. Their function is to serve as a dark mirror that reflects a dreamer’s greatest fears back at them. Nightmares afford dreamers the opportunity to face these fears in the safety of my Realm, so that they may overcome them.”

You nod, soaking in this information thoughtfully. The idea that nightmares were meant to serve humanity rather than frighten them was something you had never considered before. “Do you create dreams and nightmares for each individual mortal?” you ask.

“On occasion. To do so for each individual human would require a considerable amount of time. More often, I craft a dream or nightmare with a particular function. To take a dreamer back to their childhood, to allow them to fulfill a fantasy…then, my creation may go to the dreamers and fulfill their function whilst tailoring it to that human’s lived experience.”

You mull over his explanation in silence for several minutes. As a deity whose work involves visiting each mortal individually, albeit not every day, you understand firsthand how time-consuming that can be. “Okay, so we’re creating a dream with a blanket purpose that can be individualized to different dreamers. What are you thinking?”

Morpheus raises his head. As a sea breeze ruffles his dark feather-like hair, he opens his eyes and turns to you. “You walk amongst humans daily. I should like your thoughts on the matter. What do you believe would bring them joy, reprieve?”

You blink, surprised. You had expected to be more of a passive observer today than an active participant in Morpheus’s work. Your mind quickly turns to the man from this morning. Fingers twitching for drink in his restless sleep. His family, his joy, ripped away by a vice. He must feel so alone. “Freedom,” you say. “Freedom from the vices and burdens that feed upon them. That impair their ability to be happy.”

“Freedom.” The word sounds foreign on Morpheus’s tongue. “Intriguing. I spoke with someone very recently who wished for the same thing.”

“Did they get it?”

“One might say so. Though not in the way he expected.” Morpheus dips his hand into his cloak pocket, procuring a palmful of sand. “But we shall give the humans what they desire. Freedom.”

He sweeps his arm outward, scattering sand all around you. Rather than dropping to the beach, the sands dance through the air, shifting and shimmering. The world beyond them blurs like a mirage. You blink quickly, disoriented. When you open your eyes, you are no longer standing on the beach. Instead, you’re standing in the center of a lush, rolling meadow in full bloom. Wildflowers form a sea around you, each color of the rainbow represented in a speckled tapestry. The grass stretches as far as you can see, and an endless blue sky yawns above your head. It’s beautiful.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind whips around you, sending your hair flying in all directions. It whirls around you again and again, giving you only a moment’s reprieve before it spins around you a final time. When it does, it spirals with enough gusto to lift you off your feet. Your laughter is bright and joyful as it rings over the field. Though the wind is a fantastical creature, you don’t find yourself startled or frightened. As it suspends you in the air and twirls you around, it seems almost playful.

At your side, Morpheus seems untouched by the childlike breeze. He lifts one pale hand slowly, palm facing upward. The very air around you seems to hum with life. “Freedom. A world without limitations, without burdens. Where one can feel weightless.” He closes his hand into a fist, then unfurls his fingers and guides his palm outward. Slowly, the scene around you shimmers and shifts. The glimmering sands around you follow Morpheus’s command to drift forward. They dance along his arm, around his fingers, gathering into a humanoid shape in front of you. The soles of your shoes gently return to the ground, burying themselves in beach sand once again as the meadow fades away.

A quiet gasp escapes you as you gaze at the dream taking shape before you. A collection of grass blades and petals flitting around on an invisible breeze, confined in a humanoid shape. You can see dandelion pappus gathering in two curved lines on the being’s face like fair eyelashes resting against a cheek. Chinese silver grass fans down its back like hair. “It’s beautiful,” you whisper.

“It will be some time before she comes to,” Morpheus says at your side. His blue eyes sweep over his creation, giving rapt attention to each detail. For the first time since you met him, there is a glimpse of gentleness on his normally stoic face. “Even dreams require rest.” After a few quiet minutes, he turns to you. “Do you have questions?”

Questions? What a ridiculous thing to ask. Of course you had questions. Your brain feels like a shaken beehive; all chaotic, curious energy with no sense of direction. There is so much that you want to know. The only coherent thought you’re able to form is, “You spend so much time inspiring others. What inspires you?”

Your question gives the Dream Lord pause. He looks down at you in silence. It suddenly occurs to you that maybe, just maybe, no one has ever asked him that question before. What inspires the one who spends all his time inspiring others?

After a long moment, Morpheus turns his gaze back to the dream in front of you. Delicate chaparral currant blooms have gathered to form soft pink lips on her gradually evolving face. “I came into existence with the first being that required rest,” he murmurs quietly. “I understand that without them, I would not have become, and cannot be. One day, when my sister brings this world to its conclusion and rest is no more, I, too, will be no more. Some of my siblings – Desire, Despair – feel that their purpose is to be served while we exist. I recognize that my function is to serve. But although I am Endless, I cannot simply do as I please. The universe craves balance, requires it. As you have a set of scales, I have my own, in a way.” He pauses, pink lips pursing. “There cannot be fantasy without fear. But I have found that both fantasy and fear alike have the capability to transform.”

Your mind races, turning his words over again and again, reading the lines between his sentences. “They gave you your life and function,” you whisper quietly. Your eyes search his face for some vulnerability, some emotion, but find none. “You want to return that gift. You want to serve them by helping them reach their potential.” His lack of response is an answer in its own way.

The two of you stand on the beach in silence for some time, lost in thought. When you finally speak again, the dream before you has sprouted two cirrus cloud wings. “So, what’s next? A nightmare?”

Morpheus gradually draws out of his reverie. “Yes,” he says slowly, voice low. “You were once human. Tell me, what do you fear?”

Though his voice is soft, the question rings loudly in your ears. Your head thrums with the pounding of your heartbeat as you turn your eye inward. Looking within yourself is something you strive not to do, self-reflection something you have pointedly ignored ever since . . . well, ever since everything happened. You had tried, of course, to ask yourself in the aftermath: Why? What could I have done differently? Pain was the only response that had echoed from the depths within you. A solitary existence was, in a way, both the cure and the contagion. Loneliness served as both a coat of armor and an endless provocation to look inward, only to find that which you did not want to see.

Your mind turns to Desire’s opposition, your conditional divinity, all that happened eons ago. You know he expects an answer. You know precisely the one to give. It feels as if there is a vice grip around your throat as you choke out, “Not being enough.”

For several long moments, the Dream Lord is incredibly still. Then, in silence, he raises one hand ever so slightly. The black grains of sand at your feet start to sway and shift, pulling away from you as if answering a silent call. You watch with bated breath as they gather slowly, building upwards into two feet, two legs, a torso, two arms, a face. At first, it’s merely a mask of churning sand. But then, a flash of color – an eye. Your eye.

As you recoil backward, a flash of white teeth gleam through the dark grains before retreating back within them. Other features start to emerge from within the sand; a nose, a cheek, pink lips. Within moments, the being in front of you has transformed its face into a flawless imitation of yours. Something primal within you rears its head in response. The nightmare’s lips draw into a smile, but not a friendly one. There is an unnatural tightness in its lips. This smile is small and cruel.

Morpheus’s words echo in your mind. Their function is to serve as a dark mirror that reflects a dreamer’s greatest fears back at them. Nightmares afford dreamers the opportunity to face these fears in the safety of my Realm, so that they may overcome them.

As you confront your own reflection, you find you only want to run.

. . .

The black sand makes for a soft cushion as you plop down with a long sigh. The beach, teaming throughout the afternoon with dreams and nightmares of all designs and forms, is now empty save for you and the Dream Lord. The dream of freedom that Morpheus created – Fawn, he named her – was the last to depart several minutes ago. Her cirrus cloud wings cut through the night sky like shooting stars as she flew away, off to deliver feelings of giddy weightlessness to the Waking World.

As you peer up at the twinkling blanket of stars above, you can’t help but wish that you’d meet her in your own rest tonight. That you could ride on her playful coattails, soaring through an endless field of green without a care in the world. But dreams and nightmares were not for immortal beings. No, you know what awaits you in your dreamless unconscious tonight. It makes you reluctant to return home, yearning to stay out just a little longer.

Despite your lack of need for sleep, you can’t deny that you do need to rest. A distinct cloud of mental fatigue hangs over your brain after the long day. You turn to Morpheus, who stands still beside you, staring up at the stars. “I can’t imagine being responsible for the dreams and nightmares of all mortals. Not just giving them a place to rest or grow, but crafting ideas to inspire them and help them progress as a society. Spurring the world on through artists, engineers, inventors . . . all of it. It must be incredibly taxing, especially after so many eons.”

Morpheus’s gaze tracks the path of a shooting star streaking overhead. The inky sky is reflected in his eyes, two pools of black with a glimmering star in each. “My function goes beyond dreams and nightmares,” he murmurs. He speaks purposefully, thoughtfully, handling his words with the same care with which he crafts dreams and nightmares. “I contain the entire collective unconscious of the universe. Such a function requires laws, boundaries, structure. To have one being preside over something so incomprehensible without these would result in nothing but chaos. It is a responsibility of considerable weight. One I am well-accustomed to bearing.”

You study him in silence. You can appreciate his dedication to his rules, his structure. You had your own to follow, and you had seen what happened when the boundaries of duties were overstepped, when power was taken advantage of. Rules provided safety, security. In the midst of a turbulent, ever-changing universe, they were reliable.

As you reflect on the day, you’re surprised to find yourself feeling calm and content. You had expected to feel anxious in Morpheus’s presence, to feel inadequate as a mere deity in the presence of an Endless. You’d expected to feel nervous about your next steps. But as you sit here reflecting, feeling the soft grit of the sand beneath your palms, you find that you’re excited about what’s to come.

“Well, perhaps I can help remove a little of that weight. Just a little bit,” you say with a small smile. With a grunt, you rise to your feet and pat the loose sand off your jeans. “So, when would you like to start this new undertaking of ours? I’m ready anytime.”

Morpheus slowly pulls his eyes away from the stars to look at you. He appraises you in silence for a moment, something you’re becoming quite accustomed to. When he raises his chin ever so slightly, your instinct tells you to anticipate a challenge. “Why not tonight?” he asks.

You return the gesture, offering him a bright grin. Grateful for an excuse to not go home yet. To avoid rest for just a little longer. “Why not?” you say. You sweep an arm outward, gaze drifting over the beach, the mountains, the ocean beside you. “Where do you want to start?”

“No, here will not suffice.” Your eyebrows furrow at his words. “For an undertaking such as this, we shall require a concentrated source of power to work from. For this, we must travel to the location where the veil between the Waking World and the Dreaming is at its thinnest.”

You nod slowly in understanding. “Alright, Dream Lord. Lead the way.”

Morpheus’s boots whisper through the dark sands as he steps closer. For the second time today, he sweeps the long tail of his cloak over the two of you.

And in the blink of an eye, you’re gone.

[oopsalltes]

WHAT THE HELL EVEN ARE BOMBERMEN? (AN IN-DEPTH REIMAGINE AU LOOK INTO BOMBERMAN ANATOMY)

ridiculously long text dump incoming but i figured i'd finally go over some more technical stuff about the au. ive seen other people talk about their headcanons for how the bombermen work in-game and got a bit inspired since ive mostly been going over lore with my comics!

SO, WHAT ARE BOMBERMEN? true to most of the games, they are still robots in the au! entirely mechanical with no organic components. the vast majority of them originate from the former planet earth, now called planet bomber, but some models have been integrated into different planets (planet scrapheap for example) for specific jobs.

all bombermen come from "the original", Shiro, who was built by evil forces lurking underground on planet earth before it was renamed planet bomber. during his tenure as a reluctant minion of evil, his purpose was to create bombs for their efforts of subjugating the remnants of humanity on earth.

prior to his escape from the clutches of the evil forces, he looked very much like how he is depicted in the games!

WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE HUMANS NOW? in the original NES bomberman game, the plot revolves around bomberman's escape to the surface under the belief that he will become human. the AU follows this premise, but more literally: although Shiro doesn't actually become an organic human, he is rebuilt to resemble their appearance more faithfully! thus, all bombermen that come after him retain that human-like appearance.

this applies to the human experience as well. they can cry, taste food, live like humans even though they are artificial. they're aware of the fact that they aren't human, mind, but the line is very thin for some! Shiro goes so far as to say that he's just as human as any organic one because of his free will and his ability TO desire to be human. but most are pretty normal about it.

BASIC ANATOMY STRUCTURE bombermen possess an internal structure intentionally designed similar to that of humans. their endoskeleton is practically 1:1 of a human skeleton, the only difference being that it's obviously metal. they possess significantly less "organs", with most of their computer components centralized in a single case located where a human heart would be. their central processing unit and memory cards are located inside of the skull, reinforced by pure steel to prevent any potential internalized damage. while ripping off the outer layer of skin takes about as much effort as it would to a human, you'll be hard-pressed to actually penetrate their head/skull. pain receptors are probably the most complex and delicate in terms of structure, essentially microscopic detectors found across the body like nerves. the part of the processing unit that recognizes the feeling of pain can be manually turned off if needed, but is usually left on so that the individual is aware of damage or something malfunctioning.

all bombermen have an antenna attached to their left ear. this is used for communication with others across distance, and is also used to monitor their surroundings! it can pick up movement, energy, and other various things. it's one of their trademark identifiers, and can also be used as a sort of ID for other bombermen, so its very important to them! to remove their atenna is like declawing a cat.

don't.

like most computers, their capability of information storage is limited. although usually equipped with multiple memory cards, many bombermen elect to move data/memories they don't need all of the time onto items like USB drives so they don't need to outright delete things. their sleeping routines are the most effective way for them to undergo defragmentation.

with resources on earth having been very scarce, bombermen are equipped to run on multiple kinds of energy. like most computers, electrical energy is the most common and widely used, but their synthetic skin is capable of taking in solar energy and a furnace "stomach" can transform eaten foods into chemical energy - think of the latter as burning coal to fuel a locomotive. the one thing they DON'T use however is oil. its seen as very volatile source of energy because it's not renewable. this means they don't bleed! there's no need for them to have any liquid circulation, so replacing parts is also easier in that regard since there's no fear of losing any potential lifeforce.

ASIMOV? WHO'S THAT?? they do not follow the three laws. they are completely independent. most bombermen lean towards being good-natured (if not with their own quirks), so murder of organics/destruction of their own kind is HIGHLY taboo. this doesn't mean they're incapable of making that decision, though.

WHO BUILDS THEM? this answer is a little more complex. early in the timeline, the only way to make a bomberman was to build one yourself. this was especially apparent during earth's final years before being renamed, as most of humanity had abandoned the planet after the evil forces were reawakened decades prior. as such, bombermen were short in number because the few remaining humans that were technologically competent were the only ones capable of making them.

however, ALL bombermen are capable of recreating their own kind. this was information originally given to Shiro by the evil forces so that, for whatever reason, it would be instinct for him to prevent the extinction of his own existence. when more bombermen began to populate the planet, they started to do the creation themselves since they knew everything they needed in order to accomplish it. this is where familial relationships become possible! many bombermen who create their own kind view their creation as siblings or children, and this carries over further into the timeline even when a mother computer meant to mass produce models comes into existence.

WHAT'S IN A TITLE? "Bomberman" is both a species and a title. while most common bots will refer to themselves as "a bomberman", very few have the privilege of being called Bomberman. this name is reserved for particularly outstanding individuals who are responsible for the protection of planet bomber, meaning only a few of them exist across the timeline.

so far these include Shiro (the original), Ivory (Shiro's brother and the protagonist for most of the games that take place on Planet Bomber), and White (the sbr iteration - his siblings get privileges by association but since he's the only cracker white bomberman of the group he gets the official title). depending on how development of the timeline goes there might be more...

WHAT THE HELL ARE PSEUDO BOMBERMEN? I actually addressed this question on my twitter with a funny little comic but i'll go a little further in-depth with the discussion here.

as the name implies, these aren't considered to be "real" ones for various kinds of reasons. bombermen become very popular to imitate due to how (in)famous Shiro becomes across space, but building a robot might not exactly be conventional for some people. this is where pseudo bombermen come in. anything from bomber-cyborgs, organically made bombermen, etc are all considered pseudo bombermen. the general rule of thumb is if it isn't a robot, it's a pseudo.

notable pseudo-bombers would be Max (cyborg), Shirobon from Jetters (alien), and the Bomber Shittenou (made from elements).

ARE YOU GOING TO ADDRESS THAT LINE FROM YELLOW IN SBR2 sure they can have cock and balls why not. full human experience or something.

well that was long as fuck!! thanks for reading!!! if there are any questions feel free to leave them in my inbox and ill be sure to respond to them :)

[heartslobbf]

i watched heartstopper s2 because i was an avid osemanverse enjoyer in my early teen years (back when alice oseman still had anons on rip) and owe some of my aspec self-discovery to their writing. i knew they had written an aroace storyline into this series and wanted to see it because whilst i knew as an aroallo lesbian i wouldn’t totally resonate and might be a bit cheesed off by aspects of it, i enjoy aromantic crumbs, and i enjoy discussing aspec Stuff even more. it was……. an interesting experience? has certainly given me a lot to think about. gushy rant below the cut :)

i will say, i think that the amatonormativity is still strong, and rigid in this show. it’s like, isaac is the exception to the rule and his true love is books, and he gets to yell at his friends for all being so damn couple-y and romance-obsessed but there’s no resolution to that. is that realistic? yeah, sure, allo friends can fucking suck, but heartstopper is the kind of show aiming to do certain things for queer kids where id expect a dialogue about this. you know, charlie & co coming to understand aspec identities and becoming more conscious of how amatonormativity affects them, interrogating it in such a way that these queer couples can also be liberated from its trappings. juicy shit like that. didnt happen tho. isaac gets a book about asexuality (no mention of aromanticism on its cover!!! the word is used by the artist who vaguely explains both terms to isaac, but there is a much greater focus on asexuality, so much so that this morning i saw pink fucking news celebrating isaac’s asexual storyline without a mention of his aromanticism) and that’s it.

a lot of that criticism is arguably coloured by my experience as an aroallo person, because i just want aromanticism to be engaged with as aromanticism. you know aroaces we are besties in arms solidarity and all that, and im so fucking happy you got some great asexual rep that frequently used the word asexual, as well as your flag and iconography. like fuck yeah!!!!!! let’s go!!!!!! however, aromanticism is not a subset of asexuality, is not an ‘extreme form’ of asexuality, does not necessarily have anything to do with asexuality. im sure the aspec folks know this, but allo fuckers dont and that means that this canonically aromantic character who was emotionally affecting to me is one that im gonna be barred from resonating with again and again.

you know, moments of isaac’s story were so profound and moving for me. i cried at the kiss scene in episode 5, it was probably the single most relatable moment of tv (related to my experiences with sexuality) that ive ever seen. its certainly not my favourite tv moment of all time lol, relatability ≠ quality, but when youre part of a marginalised group and experience a lot of loneliness and alienation surrounding your identity it is great to see it reflected. i honestly loved that shit!!!!! ive been there!!!! that’s me!!!!!! the wanting and the not wanting!!! the jealousy and confusion and alienation, the longing to be able to feel what you can’t just so you don’t have to be so lonely, the knowledge that you’re just not that person…… oh it was great. it was fucking great. so you can maybe appreciate how upsetting it is for other people to neglect the aromantic facets of this canonically aromantic character, when we dont get shit.

having said that, asexuals also dont get shit; my issue is absolutely not with isaac being aroace, but rather with how mainstream understanding of aspec identities is still so piss poor that people neglect the aromantic aspect of that identity. i found isaac to be a relatable character and i enjoyed and appreciated that about him; i wish more people would talk about him being both asexual and aromantic, because aromanticism does not get talked about enough as anything other than an ‘extension’ of asexuality, an idea which only diminishes the complexity and vastness of both (fucking awesome and beautiful) identities. love and light and solidarity forever with all other aspec folk <3

[cpunkwitch]

answering my own questions

[pt: answering my own questions]

dont really get sent anything and not many people sent in the questions when the games were posted and reblogged, and i wanted to talk about stuff, so here we are.

this might end up being a multiple part post series?

ask game one (link)

(if comfortable) tell us about your condition? as much info as youre comfy with sharing.

i have a defect in the base of my spine, since i was born its caused me chronic pain all throughout my development and in recent years its only gotten worse, twisting my spine, headaches, jaw issues etc. i've also got highly suspected rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and ive been diagnosed with a pretty bad case of anemia so bad that everytime a doctor looks at my results after bloodwork they give me a pained look and say "heyy...did you know your iron is low? like...really really low?". that and a hand full of other things, vitamin deficiencies, etc. i dont mind talking more about this

2. do you know about the spoon theory? if yes, what do you think of it?

i'll be honest, the majority of my knowledge of spoon theory off the top of my head is that "drawer with limited supply of spoons" is the disabled way of saying i only have so much motivation and energy (phys, as "battery" usually refers to social and emotional) in me. i've read up on it ages ago but would not be able to put into better words what i still remember about spoon theory (esp since we had a different host back then), i like that its just so much quicker and easier to convey my amount of ability to do things for the day by saying whether or not i have the spoons for it.

i do like to joke that my drawer is always stocked with knives and forks for the ablests, but sometimes that requires spoons to handle too. /silly

3. do you have mobility aids? if yes, which ones? if no, do you want any in the future?

i've mention how i really wish i could have a wheelchair if i were in a different situation, i dont know if i'll ever get one and i almost cried when my brother responded to my joke of "would you make on for me?" with an "i would if i could", i really would like a wheelchair of some kind in the future if the world were more accessible and i were in a safer place. right now though, i've just got my cane that still needs repainting. i guess my moms back brace counts too, i take it with me to work sometimes.

4. how did you find out about cripplepunk? what drew you to the community and movement?

i dont exactly remember but i've known about it for years. i (prev host) might have come across it looking up different punk aesthetics, though im not completely sure why it showed up in a punk aesthetic list, possibly because its punk and people misinterpreted it? my first glimpse was seeing patches on jackets, spiked customized aids, cripples/phys disabled people in your classic punk attire (piercings, dyed spiked mohawks, ripped jeans and fingerless gloves) and i loved it. im a sucker for self expression through appearance and customizing things and then when i found out it was a whole community for support and centered around being physically disabled in general and slowly came to terms with my own disabled body and started accepting myself, i kinda fell in love with cripplepunk in the "this feels like home" sense.

i could probably ramble way more but i'll stop there.

5. if you deal with any kind of pain, what's your method of pain management?

i use hot packs, ice packs, voltaren cream, sometimes i take a cbd gummy, i do little stretches when i remember them, i take walks and hot baths/showers, im trying to go back to the chiropractor and my favourite instructors in rehab (theyre trans friendly and complimented my cane when i first came in with it i love them so much), and i take whatever meds i can, normally anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen but because i cant swallow pills i either take liquid (yeah, childs liquid meds works, the couple hours of mild relief is still worth it) or powdered tylenol or something. the hot/cold stuff depends on the pain and where on my body the pain is.

6. do you stand or sit in the shower or do you prefer baths/find bathing easier rather than showers?

i take baths for my muscles and during the damn monthly ouch in order to relax my body. i take showers just for my shoulders and when im feeling icky and wanna rinse off or something, i take showers on a "regular" basis and i normally stand because the only way i sit is if im crouched in the tub and if i do that i get extra dizzy standing up to get out when i turn the water off. thankfully im no longer near passing out when i take a shower but i still have to sit on the floor matt after because my legs demand rest. i gotta be careful with hot water cuz not only will it make me overheat quickly (i will not realize if in standing in blood-boiling hot water and turning myself into a cooked lobster until after im out) but it can also cause me to literally fall asleep in the bath which can go wrong.

7. do you have a sort of comfort item or safety blanket that helps you feel better, especially on the worst days?

a couple things. a few of them are stuffies/plushies, or music, games or books to help me keep my mind off it i suppose.

8. name 3 things you hate about hospitals/doctors/nurses/the medical system

a) a lot of them refuse to take people seriously or actually listen. sure maybe theyre tired or heard the same shtick before and wanna make sure this person isnt just a drug user trying to pity their way into getting more, but even then all matters a patient presents them with should still be taken seriously and never brushed off or mocked.

b) the fact that the er, the place you take a ticket and wait, is called the Emergency Room, when its normally scheduled appointments and people taken in by the ambulance that are top priority. sure its called the er because most visits through the er are rushed "emergency" last minute visits, people going there because they couldnt schedule an appointment and needed to see someone on that day, but still it feels wrong to call it the emergency room when its really just a waiting room and regardless of the visit they arent actually treated as emergencies. the whole system of just going to see a doctor feels messed up and most of the time you end up just going to see a nurse, get a check up and leave when they tell you what they got after a talk and examination or they schedule to see you again when a doctor is available. because of this i tend to prefer walk in clinics.

c) the fact that they charge to damn much, no matter if youre insured, it still charges so much. no matter what they do. and yeah, healthcare in canada is free to an extent if youre insured but a lot of times they charge more than your insurance can cover and not everyone can get/has insurance. not to mention the medical debt so many people have in america. i get that staff and hospitals need pay and funding but the government should have that covered and not have the patients charged so much for getting help. i almost got charged over 3k just for my short visit to the ward because there was an issue with my insurance and thats a whole angry story for another time.

9. whats an accessibility tool you wish was more accessible/that you had access to?

one of them is aac, the one i have on my phone i have to disconnect my phone to and has a limited amount of phrases i can pick from. id like it better if the app or just aac programs in general when directly to your device speaker by default, had more options for more ease conversing and none of them were behind a damn pay wall, in-app purchase or otherwise. i rarely use it for several reasons but i'd love if i could use it more with less limitations.

also wheelchair ramps. i dont have a wheelchair ramp but i wish people stopped walking on them when theyre clearly able-bodied, i wished my parents taught me and my siblings what the ramps were for and not to run up and down them as well as other parents to their kids because those things are supposed to be clear for a wheelchair user. i also think the corners should be rounded for ease of turning and that wheelchair accessible paths in general should be firm to the ground (not a wimpy matt on the sand that flips over and gets buried on the beach unmaintained), maintained and cleaned regularly, not have any gaps (ive seen so many of the small ones installed in doorways that have a height gap above the ground which causes trouble getting the wheelchair on the ramp let alone through the damn door) and not have railings made of metal if theyre outside (they can often reflect light into peoples eyes and get too hot to touch in the sun both of which are not good issues to have no matter how small they seem.)

those are at least the first to come to mind.

10. whats the worst accessability cockblock you've seen ableds do/make?

theres quite a few i've seen but atm nothing significant comes to mind other than overpricing mobility aids or placing paywalls in front of aids in general.

however there was the few times in more than one school i went to you had to go to the office, provide a 'valid' reason and ask them for a key to the elevator, otherwise they make you take the stairs. i know they do it because they dont want able-bodied kids messing with it n shit but its stupid, it should be accessible to everyone regardless. thank fuck both collages ive been to so far give free elevator use to any staff or student but in the schools i went to i was only allowed have the access key because i couldnt walk up the steps on my sprained/twisted ankle and i had to give it back at the end of every day. the last school even limited my use to just the morning or 1-2 periods that i had on the second floor. nevermind if my locker was up there.

11. whats an accessibility tool youre very thankful for?

screen readers. my little brother uses/used em more than me and i dont use them too often but im glad they exist in general i used them when i was younger and my english teachers gave us work on the computer, i used it like an audiobook and it helped me majorly. i hate that people dont always provide translations to things and make things harder on screen readers by using coloured, tiny, non-serif font-ed or 'quirked' text but ever since i was a kid i was just as happy they existed as i was about braille.

12. name 3 things you like about hospitals/docs/nurses/the medical system

a) that there are some people there who are actually hoping, willing and ready to listen and help others.

b) that they provide things for kids like toys in the waiting room, people who specialize in caring for kids in the hospital, some doctors even have their office decorated. one doctor i went to had her entire office winnie the pooh themed and it helped me out a lot when i got blood work done n stuff, it was really comforting to stare at pooh bear instead of the sharp pokey in my arm.

c) that things are usually kept quiet with low voices, as it reduces risk of overstimulation as well as avoids hurting anyones head and protects privacy of those talking about whats going on. voices are usually only raised to a normal talking level when in the privacy of a nurse or doctor office and its something i dont see really acknowledged anywhere.

13. do you have any favourite disability rep? (media or character)

not picking from my own sources, when it comes to physical disability rep, its hard for me to pick something that involves a realistic character because most of them arent very well portrayed or i cant personally relate to. i can list Freddy freeman as one, hes a crutch user and how the shazam movie portrayed him does well in expressing what ableism can be like for some visibly disabled kids in school. i could probably list some shows that handle disability well through other means if i thought of them, i know theres a few that handle it through super heros being disabled (the one spider-person who's got both a wheelchair and a cane from the recent spiderverse movie for example) or non-human characters having differences that are implied to be disabilities, and i adore that creativity, especially with showing disabled super heros as it tells disabled kids theyre still strong, not broken, they can still be cool and do great things just like able-bodied people. hard for me to name specific things off the top of my head though, guess i like specific tropes around disability rep more than anything. it helps normalize disability and thats what really makes me happy with it. (thats a big reason why i made @/your-fave-is-crippled)

14. least favourite/worst disability rep?

not phys disabled but sia's fucked up movie right off the bat still angers me. i cant name any specifics once again, normally if theres some rep that i dont like i purposely forget they exist to begin with, they arent worth remembering if they arent gonna do it right, y'know? id rather forget and move on than linger and rage about it if i can help it.

15. list some creators (youtubers/bloggers etc) that are disabled and/or cater to a disabled audience that you enjoy? (if any)

@crippled-pvp, @cripple-culture-is are a couple blogs i follow that i enjoy seeing on my dash (sorry if you dont want to be tagged!)

there was a deaf/hoh girl i used to frequent the content of as she talks a lot about signing and i really enjoyed her videos, shes such a sweet person but i never remembered her name nor any of the other creators i watched/followed. no one else comes to mind atm

16. favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

i like that there are people with advice at the ready, whatever question you have or info you need etc, theres always going to be someone with the words you need. i just like how helpful people can be in general in this community and how easily support is accessed through the community.

17. least favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

the fact that theres in-fighting, fake claiming, judgment, quick assumptions, and general internalized ableism still going on when we're supposed to be a community helping each other out not tearing each other down. im not just talking about the fight over "inclusion vs exclusion" on cripplepunk and other sub/separate communities in the disability community.

18. favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

i think my answer to "what drew you to cripplepunk" also answers this.

19. least favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

honestly? none. i hate the people forcing themselves into a space not meant to include them nor benefits them in the first place. i cant actually think of an issue i have with the cpunk community, only issues with people outside being upset over how "exclusive" it is because they want in.

20. free space:

feel free to ask me about any of my answers! i'll make a second post for the second ask game some other time. its currently 11pm and i have to get up early for morning classes yuck

[ID: banner reading "dni if... proship, transx/id, syscourse/discourse blog, anti-mspec lesbians/gays, anti-lesboy/turigirl more in pinned rentry. this blog is protected by the addams family, the de rolo family and co." in all black lowercase text. It has a grey cloud background. On the left is the De Rolo coat of arms with a cobweb in the top corner and symmetrically flipped on the right is the symbol of Vox Machina with the same cobweb in the bottom corner :End ID]

[skelletonscloset]

Black and Blue kisses

before you begin reading i want to preface ive never played COD i wrote this for a friend but changed their oc’s name into y/n and used gender neutral terms. please be aware there are swear words (though mostly in a different language). i attached a little word bank on the bottom for those who care!! (those were also quickly looked up so please don’t come after me if they are wrong 😭 but without further ado, plewse enjoy, Black and Blue Kisses.

(art is not mine)

Heavy footsteps pounded on the tile floors of the bunker, the soldier muttering curses in a language that the others couldnt understand. “Verdammt, where are they?” Konig mumbled, his hand under his chin in thought.

“Konig relax, they’ll be here in no time, they’re probably just running a bit behind,” Ghost said from his place at the table. In a nervous frenzy the beast of the man walked over to one of the windows and ripped back the curtains, peering into the dark night. “Verdammter Scheiß! “ 

When his green eyes didnt seem to pick up on his missing partner he cursed under his breath again, storming away from the window to resume pacing. 

Ghost and Soap looked at eachother, sharing concerned glances about their friend. Konig was never this uptight about anything, yet he was clearly distraught about this situation. 

The heavy door of the bunker swung open, revealing a pretty beat up and bloodied y/n

“y/n!” His thick accent didnt hide the evident concern in his hard voice. The big door slammed shut and startled the smaller girl. 

The other two decided it would be best to leave the room and give them some space. Konig rushed over to them and knelt down on one knee to their height. His eyes scanned their  figure, looking for any injuries. y/n  had cuts and bruises all over their arms and legs, bruised and bloody knuckles. “y/n..” 

His big hands took in their small ones, examining the black and blue bones of their knuckles. “Scheiße…” Despite his fear and frustration he gently took them by the arms and walked them to the table. WIthout sparing even a few words he picked them up from under the arms and sat them on top of the table. 

His hands made quick work of taking off their tactical belt and vest, gently removing the helmet and setting it aside. “Stay.” he said, walking off into one of the bathrooms. 

y/n could hear him aggressively rummaging through the cabinets, knocking things over and cursing loudly. Within the minute he returned carrying a medium sized box. With surprising anger he put the box on the table and flicked it open. “Show me your hands, and while you're at it, tell me what the hell happened.” 

y/n slowly showed him her hands, their lips quivering as they spoke softly. “I just got… held up. The mission was harder than I thought it was going to be and I thought I could handle it and be back at a reasonable time…” they inhaled a deep breath, “When i thought i had handled all the enemies, a few more showed up and-” 

“Blödsinn. y/n you KNOW youre supposed to radio for back up when that kind of shit happens!” Konig’s voice was raised while he applied the antiseptic patches to their bloody knuckles, noting how they hissed in a deep breath. 

“I know Konig i-” y/n  sputtered, warm, salty tears welled up in their deep e/c eyes, it wasnt long before they overflowed, waterfalling down their cheeks. “I-i didnt mean to… to make you worried.. Are you-are you mad at me?” y/n’s  words were slurred by the tears, occasionally wincing as he cleaned up the other wounds. 

Konig stopped what he was doing, the pleading of their voice, the way it shook as they cried. y/n was… apologizing for… worrying him? they were apologizing to him? He checked himself and took a deep inhale through his nose. His tone was much gentler now, still its usual raspiness, but warm and sincere. “y/n  its… no, no i'm not mad at you mein liebling…” his large hand cupped their cheek and wiped away the streaming tears with his thumb. “I just.. Got worried… you were gone for a long time, i was so worried…” His voice cracked. 

Their glossy eyes looked up at him with a gentle expression. Despite their crying, red nose and puffy eyes, Konig still thought they looked beautiful. The glossy eyes staring up at him looked as though all the stars were poured into those captivating eyes. A small smile crept onto his lips, though it wasnt like they  could tell. “Oh engelchen…” he whispered. “Im so glad youre alive and okay…” 

He cleaned up the rest of the wounds on their arms and wrapped them up with gauze and antibacterial cream, tying it up with bandages. “There, youre all cleaned up now..” 

He hesitated for a moment before slowly pulling y/nagainst him into a hug. “Oh please y/n… you… please let me know when this kind of thing happens. If something had happened to you i wouldve gone in guns blazing just to kill the fotze that hurt you.” His voice was stern but still sincere. 

y/n  sniffed, wiping their nose. “Thank you.. Konig… I mean it.” 

There was a brief pause. Konig lifted up the cover on his face. He kneeled over and kissed each wound that he bandaged, careful not to injure or hurt them further. He took their hands into his once again and kissed on each of their knuckles, taking it slow and gentle, making it a point to have them feel the warmth of his lips through the bandages. When he finished he leaned in, brushing their hair away from her forehead with one hand and then leaned in, pressing a warm kiss to their forehead. “For hell’s sake.. Never do that again..” he whispered, his cheeks tinted pink and a soft smile on his lips. 

Verdammt - goddammit 

Verdammter Scheiß - bloody hell 

Scheiße - shit

Blödsinn - bullshit

mein liebling - my darling

Engelchen - angel 

 Fotze - c*nt/motherfucker

I hope you enjoyed your read!! i apologize if there was a term that forgot to be changed when altering this oneshot for tumblr!

[pettyprocrastination]

TJ I hope you're well!! I had a quick question. How did you get into weight training? Ive been wanting to get more into it (i have noodle arms RIP me), but i. Literally have no idea where to start. Any advice? I'm not sure if I should like. Do a gym membership thing or start with home weights?? There's so much stuff out there and I have no idea where to go with it :') Anyway, i hope you have a lovely day!! 💖💖

Hey love!! I’m doing well, this year has been a bit of a whirlwind but ive got my head on straight haha.  I hope you’ve been doing well!

So here comes a very long winded explanation of my fitness journey and some advice coming in!

I started consistently working out in about september/august when I was still in college and had a built in membership in my tuition. There was a womens weightlifting club at my university that helped me get myself comfortable with weightlifting terms/finding some gym buddies until i felt comfortable to start going with myself. I’m now going relatively consistently on my own, my usual routine was 5 days a week but finding the energy to get there while doing my 9 to 5 has been a bit of a time management shift that im trying to get myself back into. 

Funny enough you reach out because I’m currently writing up a new routine for me to follow for the next two months to get more lower body strength training because I signed up for a deadlift competition for charity in june! (absolutely terrified for it because my lower body strength is still pretty light however this is my chance to get my feet on the ground in terms of getting some experience in powerlifting so! Here’s to trying new things lmao)

 I had played around with using some at home weights in the past multiple times but the issue with using a home weight set is that if you’re following a plan of progressive overload (following a weight training regime that consists of increasing weight over time) you’ll  eventually come to a flat stall unless you have a full weight set from 20-50’s with a bench which can be a pretty penny to get. I only had dumbbells that went from 10 to 20s so after i hit that for certain workouts I couldn’t go up. 

However- that being said! At home workouts can be a great place to start to get yourself used to the movements and following a consistent routine so that if you shift into getting a gym membership you already have a bit of a plan you’ve been working with. 

All-in-all, if you’re like me and you have some gym-anxiety I’d maybe start off with working at home, getting yourself comfortable with body weight and beginner weight workouts before shifting into getting a gym membership so when you go in you have the “okay, I know what im doing and what I want to hit” mentality while also working yourself into using the machines over time. 

As usual- I’m always happy to talk more and if you want to chat about workouts/form/or anything under the sun I’d be pleased as punch for it babes <3

[angel-of-the-moons]

ive been seeing fics/hcs abt prowler versions of other characters, like hobie for example.. so... what would prowler pavi be like? idrm if its just hcs <3

I hope I can do these lil tidbits justice!

Prowling

Prowler!Pavitr HCs

A/N: Believe it or not I know very little about the Prowlers from the movies. (I still haven't seen either film because I've been too busy to sit down and genuinely enjoy them between taking care of my nephew and going with my dad to his doctor's appointments! My knowledge consists of what I've seen in shorts on YouTube and TikTok)

And of course the thirsty fanfics asdfghjkl

🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅

• First of all... Prowler? Pfsh. Pavitr is far more creative than that! Why not call him the Tiger? The Shadow of Mumbattan? Something cool! But no, it all gets dictated by the press, apparently. And they all agreed that "Prowler" was the best choice...

• By day, Pavitr was the sweet ray of sunshine that did whatever he could to support his Aunty Maya after his uncle was so callously murdered.

• At night...

• As time went on, the killer of his beloved uncle was never caught, and the desire for justice consumed him; ate at his gut like a cancer.

• So he adopted his "Prowler" persona. He used his smarts to create tech, to make a suit. And he took to the streets. He was far from a goody-two-shoes hero that people fantasized about.

• When he fought, he fought tooth and nail, and it often got bloody. He's never killed anyone, but his ultimate goal is to find the man that took his uncle away from him.

• When he found him? Oh, he was relentless. The hunt lasted days, a bit of a cat and mouse game, just to terrify the man. He deserved it, for what he did. But all games end at some point.

• It didn't end well, for the killer. He beat him within an inch of his life, and dumped him in the gutter where he killed his uncle.

• Sometimes, the things he did haunted him. Did he go too far? What if he gave that person lifelong injuries that would inhibit them forever?

• He'd shake the thoughts away as he typed on his computer, hacking into various "dirty" companies and siphoning funds for him to help support his Aunty, the one person in his life that showed unconditional love after his uncle's passing.

• Sure, he had a day job. But running deliveries or writing crappy articles could only do so much in terms of fattening the wallet and keeping a roof over your head.

• Besides... He was merely reallocating the funds to those who needed it more. These companies were the evil ones, not him! They were stealing money and ripping off innocent people!

• No, no... He wasn't a bad guy. He wasn't. He had morals. Good ones.

• Protect the little guys. Protect. Even if it meant getting blood on your hands.

• He was a bit of an anti-hero, sure...

• But he always did what he had to do, to protect those that he felt needed it most. Even if the press painted him as a villain.

• He will not stand by while people suffer.

• He will not go down quietly.

• He was Pavitr Prabhakar. The Prowler of Mumbattan.

[legend-the-dumb-jock]

“Confirm final changes: When it’s 9:00 pm tonight …”.

This was the final change that I would be making while in Derek’s body. This all started about a week ago when Derek said he found a way to swap our bodies. We had always played around with the idea in txting back and forth but when he said he finally found a way for it happen I couldn’t beleive him. Of course I wanted to swap bodies. Derek had a body I could only dream of getting. And even though he was built like a Greek god he still played around with the idea of us swapping. His reasoning was “it’s not always fun and games. I have to work out all the time. And watch my diet. It would be nice to not have to worry about that for a little while”. Granted I wasn’t fat by any means but I did have a small pudge on my belly. And honestly I understood him. We could be ordering food and I would get cheese burgers while he was eating a strict diet of rice and chicken.

Derek shared the site with me andni created my profile. Creating an avatar that looked just like me. Then the message from Derek popped across my computer screen. “Ok I have everything set up on my side. All you have yo do is click accept when I open the change chat.” A link displayed in the message. Opening the change forum on the site. In here rules were set. The length of the body swap. What was allowed during the swap and so forth. I agree to the terms that Derek set out. And when I clicked accept it was as if my soul was ripped from my body and I was floating. I was flying through the air and suddenly I seen Derek. In a ghostly form like me. Saving as we passed.

"alright jason. Its done. You get to be for a bit while i get to sit back and relax! and make sure you take care of my body for me !!" with that he ended the chat and i was left there in this big muscular body.

i closed the site and was shocked that this actually worked. I ran to the bathroom to get a better look at what I was dealing with.

He must have just finished working out. I was covered in hot sticky sweat ! Abs I smelt like I needed a shower. I wasnt used to occupying so much space either. Derek was huge ! I looked down and realized that i would have to get used to walking about in his clownish sized feet. Peeling back the tongue of my new gym shoes i seen 17w plastered on it. Dang, bigger than I thought. This was going to be epic. Living it up at Derek was going to be a peice of cake being a hot muscle bound man like this.

Message came across my new phone. It was a message from Jason. “Have fun and make sure you stay on that diet. That body is my prized possession.” Jason smirked. Yeah. He knew it was. And he could already tell that he would y be giving this body up so easily.

Jason continued to live the next few days as Derek without anyone ever getting suspicious thag he wasn’t the real Derek. Working out. Eating right. He was even working on the farm as the real Derek now too.

His phone buzzed and it was Derek. 'Ive decided i want change back. I want to change back later tonight at 8:55pm". Jason wasn’t ready to give up Derek’s life yet. He had to find a way to make this stop! He logged back onto the site and found that he couldn’t stop the change back. “Users are bound by the original agreement and nothing can change a current agreement that is still in process”. Jason s reamed damnit in Derek’s heavier manlier voice. “He’s gonna fucking get this body back regardless!” Time was ticking away and he had to think of something. That’s when he got an idea. He opened a new change. Only this time he explored all the options and he found what he was looking for. " confirm final change ?”. Jason hovered over the accept button. Knowing that when he chose this there was no going back. He read over the request again. “When it’s 9:00 pm tonight, the inhabitant of thjs body will make a permanent irriversible soul swap with Derek’s dog."clicking accept a huge error message came across the screen “selecting this option removes humanity. Choosing such option locks users into changes due to site specific rules stating that only humans allowed.” With a heavy thick finger, Jason clicked accept. Right clicking on the change chat he hid it from view so Derek would never know this was happening even when he was back in his body for a short period.

8:55 came to and both jason and Derek was in the chat. The week has been completed and both we taken from their bodies they had been in for the last week. Jason felt huge. His stomach was bulging from what looked like pizza and beer. Derek has really let himself loose this week. Look long back at the chat “thanks for taking care of my body so well! We should do this again!” I chuckled and agreed “yes we really should! I had a lot of fun in that body” 8:58. Jason was staring daggers at the clock waiting for his final request to take place. Suddenly. Jason was being pulled from his body just like before. And instantly found himself back in Derek’s body. Panicking he pulled up the site. Derek typed a message from jasons body. “I set all your changes to automatically accept requests from me. So now whenever I want to swap we can swap instantly !” No!! Jason had to stop this! He couldn’t find the hidden requests and it was 8:59.

9 hit and very painfully Jason felt himself being ripped out of Derek’s body. He was floating and fighting to get back into the human body but he was repelled off. Then as if there was a hidden force dragging him backwards he felt himself being pulled. Towards the dogs that he would be sealed permanently inside. He faught with everything he could while he Sean the foal of the dog listed from its body and flung into Derek’s. Everything was dark when Jason opened his eyes. He was panting. He couldn’t see color. His final request had come true. He now permanently a dog. What was even worse. The dog was a good actor. And Derek never realized the dog was swapping bodies with him now while Jason was stuck simpering in his new four legged stance.

[iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin]

hey omg yes 🎻 anon is good i love it

it makes sooo much sense that u played viola LOL snare drum & singing sounds sooooo cool... it makes sm sense that u do music LOL after reading taedros (ya i noticed the choir detail) and the hao chapter. and idgaf if its bad for me... if its hao, ill let him do anything ❤

and omg the matthew chap is so amazing but god am i mad i feel like im being edged literally. Like since the 1st chap ive been waiting for some dick in pussy action & i finally got it just for it to be ripped away from me so quickly 💔💔💔 the way every chapter gets dirtier is so perfect though. im glad that its just dubcon coz noncon is a little much for me too. but i love dubcon. also i love that the bully levels r complete opposite to what i expected (like. taerae & hanbin being the meanest is basically unheard of LMFAO) and taerae being at the end is making me giggle im sooo excited. but take ur time i can wait 😁

also!! idk if u mentioned it alr but whos ur bias? like id guess taerae... if it werent for ur username 😭 im guessing hanbin & taerae r ur 2 favs tho??

lmk if this is a lot to read i tend to ramble & talk a lot but i can cut back if its too much 😋. hope the rest of ur day goes well!!

xoxo, 🎻

yesss i tend to add in music/theater details when it comes to fics that take place in an academic setting since that was my experience

aaaagh i’m glad you liked it!! no, i know… the cutting off right when things are gonna get super good was actually my goal for these single member parts. it’s so the last part can be as good/satisfying as i would like it to be!!

hanbin’s and tae’s parts are going to be the most emotionally complex/have the most duality. i’m pretty excited for those different personalities/scenarios (though they’re gonna be really mean/intense) :)

gunwookie was actually my one pick. he’s just my precious little angel and i honestly see my younger self in him so i have the softest spot for him.

in terms of like a real bias in the fullest sense of the word, i’d actually probably say matt. i unfortunately have a long history with matthews and it looks like it’s not stopping any time soon 💀

but i like to write smut for hanbin/taerae the most i think, hao being a close second. and i like to write fluff on my main for ricky/gyubinnie cause they’re both nuts

i clearly also like to write a lot so you came to the write ask box 😎 also who is your bias, i’m v curious