#ive impostered this syndrome for the last time

[heroicallynude]

Predictably, I have master thesis fear

[dockaspbrak]

Jobs for someone not cut out for real life but who excels at mimicry

[struck-by-the-rain]

guy who is frightened and perhaps afraid:

[hatters-workshop]

Burning the candle not only at both ends but also somehow a secret third end.

[29121996]

.

[youngpettyqueen]

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

For DS9 <3

cracks my knuckles

alright so ive kinda covered the infantilization of Julian Bashir in my last answer and this is somewhat related because when people do this with him they also tend to make him out to be a lot more insecure than he is in canon, and in relation to that they also make him a total doormat who just lets people walk all over him which is. absolutely not what he's like. at all

Julian does have some degree of self-loathing and imposter syndrome but I think its vitally important to understand this as his anger and loathing being directed towards what was done to him. its not as simple as him hating himself- he hates what was done to him, so while there is a degree of self-loathing, that anger is also directed outwards at his parents and every doctor who had a part in augmenting him

I think takes where Julian is deeply insecure about being, like, really talkative are just incorrect. I dont read that from him at all. Julian is very unapologetically and loudly himself and he doesnt apologize for any of it. his confidence in himself is one of his defining character traits. ive seen takes that all of that is a front and I just dont agree with those takes. I agree that he has some degree of insecurity and that is related to his augmentations and some imposter syndrome based on that, but when it comes to things like how much he talks, his difficulties with reading social cues, I dont think he's particularly insecure. again, this is in relation to the very popular headcanon that Julian is autistic, and people take the traits he has that are common autistic traits, and make him insecure about them, and that tends to lead straight into takes I see where people make him out to be a doormat who cant stand up for himself

I genuinely have no idea where the fanon version of Julian that is incapable of sticking up for himself comes from. ive seen it in some fics, and in some headcanons, and it makes me wonder if we watched the same show. I dont think Julian cares all that much about jokes made at his expense about how chatty he is or how childish he can be. the one time I can think of that we see him get even slightly upset by jokes of that nature is when everyone is ganging up on him for his holosuite programs, and even then, he's not insecure about it he's annoyed cause he's being ganged up on by multiple people. Miles makes a lot of jokes at his expense and thats their general banter- Julian gives it back as good as he gets. same with Garak. ive seen people act like Miles telling Julian the Changeling was better was a horrible heartless thing and sure, it wasn't a great thing to say, but thats just. how they talk to each other. the cornerstone of their dynamic is them ribbing each other. same with how Miles and especially Garak will joke about Julian's augmentations- ive seen people act like this is horrible on their ends, while I read it as its their way of normalizing it for Julian and showing their acceptance of it. and if Julian really didnt like it, he would say something. he's not shy!

idk I feel like some of that might come from The Wire in how Julian sits back and takes Garak's yelling at him and attacking him, but to me thats just Julian being really good at handling a crisis situation. as someone who deals with crisis situations as part of my job, what Julian is doing is just trying to de-escalate the situation. he's keeping himself very neutral and letting Garak rant- if he were to snap back in that moment, it would only escalate things further, which he was trying to avoid. this is exactly what youre supposed to do when faced with someone in crisis. its also worth mentioning that Garak was going through agonizing withdrawals, so I doubt Julian was taking anything Garak was saying to heart. he responds to him like he's taking him seriously, for the purpose of de-escalating the situation and trying to calm Garak down. thats not an indication that Julian is incapable of standing up for himself and will just let himself be walked over, but rather that he just. knows how to handle a crisis

the infantilized oh-so-innocent deeply insecure eternally bullied Julian Bashir that I see exist in some fanon circles is just. so bizarre to me. it takes so much of nuance away from his character and im not sure what for? ive seen it used in some fics to bolster Garak up as this protector for him and im not a fan of twisting their dynamic to be like that, it takes a lot of the intricacies of their dynamic away in favour of loading them up with tropes. I think people forget that Julian very successfully kept his augmentations hidden for over half his life and would've continued to keep them hidden if his parents hadn't fucked it all up. I also think people forget that Julian is perfectly capable of and WILL stick up for himself, and that a lot of his anger at his situation is directed outward. turning him into this weird version of himself that is very woe-is-me just does nothing for me and is very divorced from how he actually is. he's snappy and rude as hell when he wants to be, he's not taking shit lying down, doesnt matter who it comes from

also a smaller thing but it annoys me every time cause I get it in notes on my posts. when people say Julian's self-sacrificing tendencies come from his need to be useful I wanna whack them with a rolled up newspaper. its because he wants to SAVE PEOPLE it is explicitly about SAVING PEOPLE he isnt trying to die to be useful his goal when he runs through fire is to help and to save because he is, at his core, a doctor and a healer!! its about the preservation of life and doing everything he can!! its not about this weird complex fanon gives him where he needs to be useful or die trying to justify his existence or whatever I dont read that at all from him. he's just that determined to save lives

hope you enjoyed this ramble I have many thoughts and feelings on this

[aquaquadrant]

I was wondering if you had an estimated date of when you will post the next HTP chapter?

Like, leaving us on such a cliffhanger must be a crime! It cant be legal!

Anyways, while I wait for it, Ive decided to copy paste every chapter into a doc and mark it up color code style for all my over analyzing needs. It took me an hour but it was worth it.

Have a good week and take care :)

(This is meant to be genuine, not mean or passive aggressive, just so you know. While I indeed am anxiously awaiting Chapter 10 by highlighting the chapters on a doc like that one photo of a bible page that’s highlighted with different colors. This isn’t meant to be mean or pressuring, take your time and take care of yourself)

⬆️(Ah poo, Im an over thinker

hey there, no worries y’all- i love seeing my reader’s enthusiasm and it’s reassuring to see continued interest in the series. i’d been hoping to have BOTH of the final ‘from eden’ chapters done before summer. but i have to admit, progress on the next chapter hasn’t been as forthcoming as i’d expected, for a couple reasons.

the first is health-related. not to be too TMI, but i recently got diagnosed with crohn’s disease. my symptoms started ages ago but have really ramped up in the last couple months, and the diagnosis was a lengthy and involved process (started the hunt back in november, presumptively diagnosed after a colonoscopy in feb, definitively diagnosed when biopsies came back over spring break) and even when i was simply waiting for results, it occupied a lot of my mental capacity. and ofc it happened to line up with me turning 26 and needing new insurance, which has caused lots of delays. anyone dealing with the american health care system while chronically ill will tell you it’s a frustrating, exhausting process. as of right now, i’m still waiting to start treatment 🫠

but honestly, even more than that, the biggest thing stopping me from writing is… me? 😂 so there’s this thing that happens after i post a chapter that’s like… decision paralysis? except it’s just that sometimes, i literally can’t bring myself to start the next chapter. it’s like, i have this unfounded fear that all my writing up until this point has been some magical fluke out of my control, and i’m not capable of ‘pulling it off’ again. i guess you could call it a form of imposter syndrome (which i already encounter enough in my vet school life). it gets worse after posting something that was a particularly massive undertaking or was insanely well-received bc i’m scared i won’t be able to top it- even though the impact of storytelling is supposed to be cohesive, and it’s unrealistic for every chapter to be ‘bigger and better’ (what does that even mean?) than the last one because they serve different purposes at different points in the story. i know this, rationally, but that doesn’t stop the irrational fear of failure from making me avoid writing.

i’m not sharing this to make excuses or garner sympathy, or fish for compliments, and certainly not to make anyone feel guilty for asking about updates. i just feel like maybe this will resonate with anyone who has the same experience. and also to share hope, because despite how often this feeling rears its ugly head, i’ve still been able to push through and get back to writing- and i’m always very happy with the result. sometimes it just takes longer than i’d like (pro tip: writing on ur phone is less intimidating, tho it’s more of a pain). but in any case, the next chapter of ‘from eden’ is well underway and i still hope to have the series done before summer’s end^^

[hammill-goes-fogwalking]

one of the worst moments of my mental instability phase was when I couldnt go on the streets without comparing myself to each and every single human walking passed me.

Example: I'm in the bus. My thoughts: theres probably no person here with a worse social life than me, I'm already the worst. Ive always been the worse. I'm almost always the different one, the one who's left out, everyone's last choice. I'm sure most of my friends only pretend to like me because they have no one else around them. My family only loves me because they have to.

[then I forget how I *actually* look and make up the worst scenarios] ugh I feel so uncomfortable, everyone here has a more beautiful side-profile than I, I'm the only one with a receding chin I dislike to think about my look, maybe people in my class avoid me because they dont want to look at my ugly face and immature loser body and the way I act. Theyre too good to me and I'm not worth it. I'm not worth the friends I have. 😭

then I often tried to hide my tears but a few times I couldnt hold it and cried in front of the people 😭😭 when Im crying, stranger's faces were like *ignore her, ignore her*

the worst phase of this was last November to January?? I think?? But I still think like this sometimes, not as extreme. Imposter Syndrome is still there

[crowkip]

hello!!! little life update below the cut, not rlly all that art related so feel free to scroll past ₍^. ̫.^₎ .𖥔 ݁ ˖

firstly thank u for your continued loveliness while ive been gone!! im hoping im able to draw again soon bc i miss sharing my silly little dc scribbs with you all sm :'3

anyway oughghg,, so ive mentioned it a few times on here but over the last year my physical health took a really unexpected turn. it's been difficult to adapt to as someone who grew up fully able-bodied and ive lost most of my friendships along the way since i cant really go out and travel to see people anymore, i think most people where im from are just more comfy looking the other way with these things but it's still just kind of tricky to try to deal with it all on my own. anyway today, after being completely stuck inside for weeks due to mobility issues, i finally got a wheelchair. having v complicated feelings about it all (bit of imposter syndrome lol) but im hoping having some freedom to get out n about again will help bring back a little bit of motivation to sketch!! the combo of fatigue, pain in my hands, and just being stuck inside for weeks on end has made drawing feel impossible recently and ive rlly been missing it so im hoping this can help get things rolling again. even though things r kinda balls rn i'll always do my best to stay optimistic bc no matter what there are always more cool bugs to find and little cats to pet in the world. i hope you all had a happy holiday season, thank you for sticking around (ˊᗜˋ*) ♡

[nicegaai]

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[jennavalenzuela]

omg omg omg i needed a place to rant and get all of my feelings out so, like, why not tumblr?? no one has to read this lol. hehehehahhahahaah i think i have the biggest case of imposter syndrome ever. so i just graduated w a bio degree last may and i’m trying to plan what to do next. after grad i moved back home and got a part time job at a math tutoring center and i’ve been there since like august. ive also been applying for jobs as a research assistant/technician in boston bc i need to get out of my hometown and do something lol. i’m lonely here ok.

and now like my part time job is trying to promote me and a couple of core people are leaving but i’m applying for other stuff and might be leaving soon too and i feel so bad bc like idk what to do at alllll. they’re gonna be understaffed and i know it’s not my responsibility but i still feel like an ass.

i have an in person interview in boston on monday and idk what i’m doing like i keep second guessing if this is what i wanna do and like idk at all. i had an interview w another position that really made me doubt myself and my whole life trajectory and ugh i hate this. idk what i want at all and i just wake up tired and sad and stressed every day what is thisssssss. i just feel like a loser and a poser. and i’m worried like should i be choosing a dif city, dif types of jobs???? i just don’t knowwwww

[oddballism]

Once again feeling imposter syndrome about my autism (I also have ADHD but I’m specifically talking about the autism) because I don’t have, or at least I can’t tell if I have, the common sensory issues

I’m fine with loud noises

I’m fine with bright lights most of the time. Unless someone has an artificial light turned on when there’s plenty of natural light in the room. That annoys me greatly and I will turn it off immediately

I think I can make eye contact? Or maybe I can’t? I have trouble talking when I’m tired and have a headache, which is common for me just because of my shit sleep habits. It’s like, I have a feeling of what I want to say, but that last step of turning the feelings into words isn’t working. I’ve gone off topic, haven’t I? When I’m tired like that, it’s easier for me to talk if I’m not looking at the person, and I have to be stimming constantly. My visits with my therapist are after school, and I’m kneading that styrofoam pellet pillow she has with my hands the entire time. And sometimes I squeeze my eyes shut to help me talk

I feel pain the way neurotypical people do. If I twisted my ankle as a kid, I cried, the way other kids would. I cut myself? Yep, that’s pain, and I don’t like it. It doesn’t pleasure me

I don’t walk on the sides of my feet. I don’t walk on my toes, either

My parents seem to think I run slightly off from normal, but Ive blame that on me having never truly exercised in my life. (I should be physically healthy, I don’t have any physical disabilities or chronic illnesses/conditions, but my parents didn’t sign me up for sports as a kid and I didn’t exercise much in other ways, so I never started) I feel like I would have good balance, flexibility, coordination, etc. if I only had spent my life exercising like a normal kid instead of never doing any hard physical activity. But I’ve always been very against physical activity, and my parents were very lax when raising me and didn’t want to force me into activities.

And that reminds me, I’m the opposite of flexible. I have shit flexibility. Aren’t autistic people supposed to be prone to hypermobility?

Have I ever had a meltdown? I don’t know. Have a had freak-outs? Tantrums? Oh yes, so, so many. But a meltdown is supposed to be out of your control. When I get them, I do it sort of on purpose because I don’t know how else to express my feelings. Have I ever even had a panic attack? Maybe, but I can’t think of it right now

But one thing I do have is not being empathetic or compassionate at all. I’m a terrible person and I hate myself for it. When somebody says they’re feeling bad, or something bad happened to them, I know I should feel sorry for them, but I feel nothing. It’s a thought, not a feeling. Even for my own friends.

I needed to vent about this. Even though I am absolutely autistic, as my therapist said, I’m always going to feel like an outsider, a someone who doesn’t fit in, because I don’t have the bad traits and experiences. I’m fine with loud noises. Why am I okay with loud noises. Why do I have normal pain and pain reactions. I hate myself

[pocketofpencils]

Questions for Writers

10000 years late! thank you @calunalilly for tagging me

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

a very modest 19 lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

163,620

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Last Tango in Halifax

Happy Valley

Collateral

1 Vigil fic lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: The Equation of Mass. : Caroline/Jane christmas fic. My first ever loooooooong one.

2: I Want You To See Me: Caroline/Gillian. Glasses are annoying, lets kiss about it.

3: Welcome Home: Vigil fic lol First ever thing I published on the internet.. Only 412 o words, thought people would hate it but I still get kudos and bookmarks on it 3 years later lol

4: Brunhilde and the Bastard in the Barn: Catherine/Jane Current WIP/Pain in the arse lol. Getting ready to wrap it up :')

5: Pain and the Passing of time: Caroline/Gillian. First LTIH fic, in first person *gag*. Makes me cringe, but also surprises me that I wrote that!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try really hard to! My inbox overwhelms me sometimes haha! But I appreciate and read every comment I get! So thank you to the like 2 people who are probably reading this haha.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It is yet to be written! But I do have a mildly angsty one in mind.. Not a not happy ending.. Just happyish lol

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Equation of Mass I guess. Most Fluffiest

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No! Thankfully. I only write there for fun. Any hate (that isn't warranted of course call me out if I fuck up) would probably make me stop posting haha.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes.. Im a much better smut reader than writer I can tell you that lmao.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I mean at this point I think we have just accepted Jane into the Happy Valley landscape, so much so that its sometimes hard to remember she's plucked straight (or gay ;)) from another show. So I guess almost all of my works are crossovers haha

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

lol hands off my garbage

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Ive had to explain words to my American friends.. does that count?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I just did my first colab with @calunalilly! I think were going for another..or 1000 <.< lol

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

All the pairings I write for are my faves. i also love Mirandy :')

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Lmao well anything Ive started I always have doubts I will complete. I am (very very slowly) writing my first book...and I have doubts but I am working through them!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I dont really know.. I think jokes? Funny is most important!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

lol Grammar, formatting, imposter syndrome, actually writing lol. All things that I am working on. I also need to plan better to stop writing plot holes lmao. remembering fic is just for fun!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Do what you want bro lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published: Vigil.. I also wrote some unpublished Killing Eve and Doctor Who fics that will never see the light of day as I wrote them by hand (lol) and lost the notebook I wrote them in. So I hope who ever found that notebook enjoyed them lmaoooo

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ahhhhhh I dont know. I think Year of the Dog was the first one I wrote and was like: "Ok I can do this writing thing".

Everyone I would tag, has already done it so... :)

[cartwheellou]

Miraculous Fic Rec of Underrated Stories Pt. 1

I read too much fanfiction. In efforts to slow myself down ive decided to start a rec series. These are all the stories ive read that are not my top recs, but definitely underrated. Give them some love!

Jealousy, Jealousy by MyFairKatie

Oneshot, 2k

Adrien takes it upon himself to make Lila as jealous of Marinette as he possibly can—which may or may not lead to him blurting out that they are dating.

Whoops.

Not labeled as crack but definitely crack. Or at least, I take it as such given the liberties taken with the characterization. I think its funny and the lila takedown is refreshingly different amidst the large body of preexisting lila takedown fics.

Emergency Contact by CoffeeBanana

Complete, 18k, 4 chap

When Marinette invites Adrien to live with her temporarily while she recovers from an injury, she thinks the hardest part is going to be hiding her feelings from him. But Adrien's idea of being helpful might go...a little overboard.

Some solid post reveal pre relationship adrienette. I like the emphasis on communication. Theyre adults and have already defeated hawkmoth, so its a chill dynamic.

Imposter Syndrome by highspeedearth

Oneshot, 2k

Impostor Syndrome: when you believe it is only a matter of time before they find out you don't know what you are doing.

Marinette had a bad day, and this time transforming into Ladybug doesn't help.

Chat Noir plucks her off the Eiffel Tower for a pep talk.

Hurt/comfort for sure, but i really like the angle. Written pre season 4, so when it discusses marinette under stress, its not from a guardian angle. It lets the characters really think about how their perceptions of what their bodies are capable of have changed due to holding a miraculous, and the tone of the story is very nice. Almost slice of lifeish? This could be inserted into canon and break nothing, while still being meaningful. Nice read

the wonderful part of the mess that we made by heresie_irisee

Oneshot, 13k

They knew.

They knew, and there would be no magical reset button for the memories they'd made today. She'd have to see him at school every day, and she'd see the Chat in him, as surely as he'd see the Ladybug in her.

They remember the events of oblivio au. I highly enjoy stories where learning each others identities does not lead to a no-discussion lovefest. This is a great marinette pov of her overthinking everything and questioning the validity of her feelings. No salt is thrown in the process and its a nice feelings analysis and resolution.

Missed me, Missed me (Now You Gotta Kiss Me) by orphan_account

Oneshot, 5k

When last minute plans come up, Chat Noir leaves the country for two weeks. Ladybug finds she misses him far more than she thought she would.

One word: ladynoir. Story ignores ladybug falling in love with chat, just jumps straight there. Its just 5k of pining guys. Their interaction is funny, gotta love the ladynoir quips. And the author LEAVES THE STORY AT THE WORST (BEST) PLACE ARKRGOGMGNGKDKSD

Plagg and the Variety Cheese Pack by quicksilversquared

Oneshot, 5k

Plagg can sniff out cheese anytime, anywhere. It's a special talent of his. But it can get him in trouble as well.

When Marinette buys a variety cheese pack for Chat Noir, Plagg sniffs it out and ends up accidentally going home with her. Will he get back to Adrien before the next akuma attack?

(Probably not)

Hijinks and shenanigans, unsurprisingly. Plagg-centric, which is great cause he (and the kwamis in general) deserve more love. I like how adrien circumnavigates plaggs eccentricities and how its funny in the story, while not ragging too hard on plagg for being difficult.

your lips are meant to be kissed by zimtlein

Oneshot, 12k

During a tipsy evening, Adrien kisses Marinette’s forehead.

Understandably enough, Marinette has a complete meltdown.

Explicit story, rated 18 and up. Post reveal. Marinette is hilariously thirsty throughout all of this, and her only barrier is herself. Vibes a bit like a slow burn despite being a oneshot. Despite the tag, i would definitely catagorize this as a pwp.

Lighten up by PurpleRose244

Oneshot, 6k

Take the high road, do not intervene. That was what Adrien said, to his friend and to himself.

Then again, Chat Noir said none of that. And he really didn't like seeing Marinette sad.

Lila takedown story + identity reveal. Set at a fancy christmas party. Hits all the right beats without any salt or out of nowhere identity revelation. I think its pretty in character and trim, albiet ignoring canons problems with identity reveals.

Unwise by GalahadWilder

Incomplete, 4k, 2 chap

Ladybug is exhausted, and Chat convinces her to finally start bringing on the temp wielders permanently.

Unfortunately for Chat's poor kitty brain, she chooses to use that opportunity to set up Multimouse with Aspik.

He is SO SCREWED.

Unlikely to be finished, so just treat it like a oneshot. But its got some lovely ladynoir interaction, ladybug and chat noir actually in an equal partnership, some mouse!marinette, and some bee!adrien, desipte what the summary says. I think that matchup makes way more sense, so its cool to see it. I love vipermouse, its just like adrienette except even sillier and more fabricated complications.

Thats it for now! I may try to link future rec lists together :3 well see how well i can navigate tumblr interface

[acemistakes]

Imposter Syndrome

Noun

the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills

┏ ┐

i. Introduction

ii. What is imposter syndrome?

iii. Some tips

iv. Outro

v. Sources

└ ┛

Imposter syndrome is quite honestly one of the worst things for my spiritual practice. There’s always the question of whether or not something was real or if I’m just being biased or imagining it. Is this deity actually reaching out or interested in working with me or am I forcing my beliefs onto them? I always find myself second-guessing moments in my spiritual practice. So if you’re like me and dealing with imposter syndrome, feel free to stick around.

The term “imposter syndrome” was originally introduced in the 1970s by Suzanna Imes and Pauline Rose Clance. Early research suggests that it only affected successful women but has since been proven to affect anyone. Imposter syndrome has many forms. The five types would be the perfectionist, the superhero, the expert, the natural genius, and the soloist. These are labels based on how imposter syndrome seems to affect your behavior and actions when responding to a certain type of stress.

Imposter Syndrome itself is essentially a type of self-doubt. “I was just lucky. I’m not *that* good at ___. If I don’t understand something immediately, then I’m just dumb.” These are the types of thoughts you may be experiencing with imposter syndrome. It can be a result of pressure from parents growing up, social anxiety, or personality traits even.

This is really baseline information, feel free to check out the sources listed below. Or perhaps search up imposter syndrome on your own.

Imposter syndrome sucks. It’s limiting especially when it comes to spiritual experiences. So these are some things that may help to keep in mind. Things that I try to remind myself of whenever I find myself struggling with my own form of imposter syndrome. Things I will definitely try and understand myself. This is a learning experience for the both of us.

Refuse to let it hold you back

Now this tip I actually snatched from one of the sources I used and I thought it was a good tip to include. This is actually something I try to remind myself of all the time. Often using the idea of “so what if it’s not completely real? I can still learn a valuable lesson from imagination.” This really goes with the fear of whether or not I’m communicating with an actual deity or whether or not I’m making up the entire interaction.

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Find a routine

I would say this is more of a ‘figure out your belief system and stick to it’. If you’re one of those people who say ‘Once is an accident, Twice is a coincidence, and three's a pattern” then stick to that ideology. Limit the amount of doubt that can grow in your mind by sticking to a pattern. Shuffle your cards the same way every time if you need to. But if you need to do things a specific way in order to lessen that imposter syndrome, there’s nothing wrong with that!

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SPG is good validation

Personally, I wouldn’t say to stick only to SPG when doing things, especially if you do spirit or deity work. UPG is nice, everyone’s practice is their own and everyone’s relationships are different. But if you’re like me and constantly doubting every little thing then try and find things from your experience that count as SPG. BUT don’t limit everything to whether it’s SPG or not. Use it as a building block to gain that confidence.

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Stop comparing

Another good tip snatched from an outside source rather than my own thoughts. Although this is also where things get tricky. See in my last tip I say that SPG is good. Reach out to other members about their experiences with a deity but do not completely compare your experiences with theirs. Their relationship with a deity will be completely different from yours, so while you may be able to have some shared experiences with other members, remember that your relationship is your own and everything will not be the same.

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Check and Re-check

It’s always a good idea to double-check things. Sources are one thing that should be double-checked. But if you’re unsure on whether or not something is actually a sign or if something is the correct message, there are tools that are there to help. Confirm things with tarot or a pendulum. Ask for a very specific sign to be sent if you need. Even confirm things with other people through readings maybe.

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Trust in your intuition

Yes, this is probably the hardest thing to do with imposter syndrome. I am certainly yelled at by my friend to remember this all the time so this is me ‘yelling’ at you all about this. So let me ask…do things feel right? How are you feeling about the experience? Does it feel right? Comfortable, in a sense? Is this the situation actually wrong or is it just your anxiety speaking? If you’ve done things a certain way…then there’s no reason to doubt the results. Trust in yourself.

As mentioned multiple times before, imposter syndrome really does suck. But these are some tips that could be helpful. Of course, you do not have to take any of these to heart or take them very seriously. And if you have any suggestions of your own, please feel free to drop them in the comments!

https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-415646

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/imposter-syndrome#overcoming-it

[solarishashernoseinabook]

Hi, so I thought I'd ask you this because you'd know: I think I may have autism. I was never diagnosed as a child, but I was pretty sheltered so idk how that factors in. I'm an adult now, and I have persisent issues with sensory stuff, fidgeting, interacting with people, and so on. It may just be related to my depression. However, as Ive made the transistion to adulthood I just keep realizing I function way different than others are comfortable with. Am I just overreacting?

Nope, I don't think it's an overraction at all! I could go on a very long tangent about this, but what it comes down to is: does identifying as autistic help you understand yourself better, and can you use that to help you manage your problems?

Does identifying as autistic help you understand yourself better? I first thought I might be autistic about fifteen years ago. At the time, though, I had a very stereotypical view of autism because I was only exposed to high-support-needs autistic people (hard avoiding eye contact, predominantly non-verbal, very obvious stimming, etc.). As I've gotten to know a wider variety of autistic people, though, I've started realising that a lot of stuff I thought were just quirks about myself were autistic traits. I don't feel all that comfortable looking at eyes, or faces in general, unless they're someone I know well (my best friend, my family) - though I'm still trying to sort out my boundaries around eye contact. Figuring out I'm autistic helped me identify my sensory issues as falling into clear patterns instead of being random things that bugged me, and it helped me realise that a lot of things were stims! But a lot of my stims are atypical. For example, I love pressure as a stim - like putting clothes pegs or hair clips on my fingers, or clipping a pen to my lip or finger. It also let me realise text is a visual stim, which is why I actually read slowly unless I'm forcing myself to get through something quickly and why I have trouble watching any show that I can only access with subtitles - just looking at text, even without reading it, is hugely calming for me.

For years, my biggest sense of imposter syndrome was around special interests. I didn't have any classic special interests that you see all the time in fiction, besides an interest in animals and natural history - but it didn't seem to manifest the same way special interests normally did, because while I love talking and learning about them, my entire personality isn't based around them. Once again, learning about autism helped me realise I do have special interests, including animals and natural history - and one of those interests is worldbuilding! I love creating settings, social mores, explanations, etc. Introduce me to a legend or mystery and my brain will start building something around it! I also realised that books, as objects, are a special interest for me - I like having physical books around, holding books, etc. Just touching a book is hugely calming for me. Once I learned that special interests could take more forms than just "can name hundreds of types of trains" or "wants everything to be Mickey Mouse related in some way", I noticed I had a fair few special interests and realised how big of a role they played in my life!

The social difficulty was the last hurdle for me. Actually, doing image descriptions consistently helped me figure out that I can't interpret faces or tone very well! I went a surprisingly long time genuinely believing most people go through social situations emoting very little and with flat voices. As it turns out, my brain just interprets all facial expressions/tones of voice as "neutral" unless there's a very strong emotion attached! I remember one time being in the break room at work, and one of my coworkers was on the verge of tears about something - but I had no clue, because she seemed neutral to me, despite other people asking her if she was okay. It was only once she started sobbing and tears were on her cheeks that I realised she was upset and comforted her. Once again, realising that I don't perceive emotions at all unless they're very blatant has helped me figure out a lot of things that didn't make sense before - like why so many people would seemingly have abrupt changes of heart and get annoyed at me "for no reason", or why I have an easier time interacting with little kids (they tend to be very open with their emotions because they feel everything strongly, so I can read them better) - and why most of the friends I've made are people who wear their hearts on their sleeves!

Can you use that knowledge to help you manage your problems? Pretty much as soon as I recognised a pattern in my sensory issues, I planned around them and could solve them. I've adjusted my wardrobe around the fact that I have trouble with having things too close around my neck, and take noise cancelling headphones with me places. I recognised what stims I have, got some fidget toys (I have a spinner ring that I have on me at all times), and recognise when I'm getting overwhelmed so I can get out of a situation, or at least take steps to mitigate it. But these have come up in other ways, as well.

It's often said that autistic people like routine. In my case, that manifests more as wanting to have an idea of what's going to happen and when and in what order it will happen, and sudden changes to this get me cranky. Uncertainty, especially regarding something I've been told I can do, can be hard to deal with. For example: one of my best friends has ADHD, and pretty much every time she comes to visit me she forgets something at my place - which is a bit of a problem when she lives a few hours away and is busy with school and work! One time, when she was coming for a week's visit, we agreed beforehand that I'd help her make a list of everything she had brought and where she had packed it so she could easily check if she had it with her before she left. I was excited to do it, and figured it would happen very soon after she got to my place. But when she got there it turned out she wasn't planning on unpacking right away, and within minutes I had pestered her so much about when I would be allowed to make her list that she got annoyed about me asking - she felt like I was pressuring her when she didn't have the energy to do it, when I wanted a clear timeline and an assurance that we would do it at some point. Ever since I realised I have that routine issue, I've started consciously telling myself that most days will happen with only a rough routine, or I give myself alternatives if a routine falls through. Like, "If this class doesn't come to my library at the time I expect, I'll spend time cataloguing these books instead" - either way, then, I'm following a routine! I can spin my spinner ring a few times to calm down during the transition period between events and I'll be just fine.

Similarly, once I realised there were a lot of unstated social expectations that I simply wasn't picking up on, I started taking initiative and actually asking about them. As it turns out, no one seems to mind - at least, I've never had any trouble getting answers! Once I started doing that, I ended up having an easier time meeting people's expectations, but if I hadn't realised that autism made me miss those rules in the first place, I would've kept going doing what I was doing, which just resulted in miscommunications.

Can your issues be caused by social isolation and depression? Maybe! But you could also be putting the cart before the horse, so to speak - your social isolation might be the result of autism, and it's very common for undiagnosed autistic people to end up with depression. One of the things that settled it for me was that I genuinely found autistic people and people with ADHD more predictable than neurotypicals - every day I'm baffled by something a neurotypical person does, but I can sniff out someone who's autistic or got ADHD from a mile away and figure them out quickly because their behaviour follows similar patterns to mine. I talk a lot about making Halt clearly autistic in The Royal Ranger, for example, but honestly a much harder thing for me has been remembering to keep everyone else neurotypical - I often have to think hard to figure out how Crowley would interpret something without an autistic lens there to colour it! But ultimately, whatever the cause, if you find autistic terms useful for you, use them! If they help you, they're free for you to use. If they don't, you have no obligation to. And most importantly, don't feel like you have to figure this all out right away - I first started seriously debating if I was autistic when I was fifteen, and only got comfortable actually calling myself autistic when I was closer to thirty!