#iz oneshot

[knotsoangelic]

How things change

Style; Oneshot

Word count; unknown

Pairing; Zadf/Zadqp/Zadr

Media; Invader Zim

Genre; Fluff/Silly

Fic is under the cut. :) this didn’t take me very long, but yk. not used to posting fanfics on here. so. enjoy lmao

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“You’re still doing this??”

The sudden voice coming from the far end of the Lab made Zim nearly jump out of his skin. He shot his gaze at the doorway of the lab and blinked a couple times under the light red hue of the monitor in front of him. He narrowed his eyes in immediate distrust.

“How did you get in here?” He asked.

Dib didn’t answer at first, instead trailing his gaze to the monitor. He furrowed his brow. “It’s been years, Zim. I know how garbage your security is.”

All the Irken could do was give a haughty scoff, pushing himself out of his seat and aggressively approaching the human. “It’s superior to anything humans could come up with and you know it,” He stopped in front of Dib, a noticeable 3 inches shorter than him. “Now get out. Im not interested in entertaining whatever shenanigans you have for Zim today.”

Dib’s gaze trailed down to the other. For a few seconds he just stared, narrowing his eyes. But then he relented his gaze, sighing in defeat. “My bad for wondering how the space idiot was doing, considering how long he’s been gone. What gives, anyway? It’s weird not seeing you on campus.”

Zim folded his arms behind his back and glared at the human. “You don’t need to know, Dib.”

“Considering I gotta keep you in check, even after five years, yes. I do need to know.” He gestured to the monitor in exasperation. “Don’t you think this is a bit much? They haven’t answered you in years. Let it go, Zim.”

Instead of giving a response, Zim decided on shoving Dib. It wasn’t rough enough to knock him to the ground, but enough to earn a soft ‘oof’ from the human. “Irkens don’t give up, Dib.” He turned from him and paced back over to the monitor. “They’ll answer. I know they will. They have to.”

Zim wasn’t looking at him, but Dibs expression went from incredulous to somewhat sad in an instant. He, too, was looking at the monitor, and after a few beats of silence, sighed again, this time in frustration.

“If they haven’t answered you in the however-many-years you’ve been trying to call them, they’re not answering, Zim.” Dib kept his annoyance in his tone at bay as well as he feasibly could, instead trying a more pleading tone. “Why is this so important to you anyway? What even happened to conquering the planet?”

Something briefly flashed in Zims eyes, before quickly melting into anger. He turned to face the human, snarling. “It’s still my top priority to take over this planet, filthy pest. You don’t deserve to know the inner workings of my plans. Now get out before I skewer you.”

Dib narrowed his eyes, weighing his options of staying just to piss Zim off or leaving a potentially unstable bomb here to fester. His initial choice was the latter, but after careful consideration, he chose the former. He knew Zim like the back of his hand at this point. It’s been five miserable years since the irken got to earth, and Dib would like to think he knows Zim well enough by now. If anyone could deal with him it was Dib.

He was past trying to stop Zim. He knew how his people saw him. He knew no giant armada would come back to earth. He knew, according to Zims “almighty” leaders, that he was no more than trash that was taken out. He watched this alien break down. He watched him struggle. He knew he wouldn’t actually take over Earth, if he could. After all, where would he go afterwards?

Not to mention Dib was taller than him now. Not by a whole lot, but enough. Dib recalled his initial reaction to the human growing as soon as it started. Pure bewilderment, mixed with a touch of jealousy and a whole lot of rage.

So, Dib simply laughed.

It certainly wasn’t what Zim was expecting. His antennae fell back a bit in confusion. As quick as they did though, his annoyance came back twice as fast. “What on Irk are you laughing at?! I will! I’ll puncture your nasty human organs!” He inches closer to Dib while he threatened, but the human wouldn’t stop laughing.

“Enough! Your sniveling disgusts Zim!” The Irken almost pleaded. Whether he intended to or not, Zim’s antennae fell back again, and he shrunk in on himself. It was only then that Dibs laughter started to die down, and he sighed, letting his gaze focus on Zim again.

“I know you don’t have any plans for earth. You’re too busy ringing up your leaders. You can’t lie to me anymore. I’m immune.” Another sigh, though Dibs smile definitely fell. “Eh….Zim?”

It was like Zim was staring off into space, antennae still uncharacteristically pressed flush back, at almost a 90 degree angle. After a solid minute of zoning out, the Irken suddenly sighed, plopping to the floor and hugging his knees to his chest. For just a second he wanted to pretend Dib wasn’t there, he wanted to sulk in isolation. Unfortunately, Dib didn’t get the hint.

“Uh. I’m sorry.” He said awkwardly. Dib shifted from one foot to the other. “Yknow, uh. I wasn’t even laughing at your threat. I kinda got carried away by memory lane outta nowhere.” He knelt close to Zims level when the other didn’t so much as acknowledge him. “Uhhhh…Zim?”

Faint grumbling muffled through limbs. Dib blinked. “Didn’t catch that.”

A very clear groan. “Don’t you know what ‘go away’ means? Go. Away.” Zim finally spoke clearer, looking up only to say this before burying his face in his knees again.

Dib blinked again, though this time out of pure confusion. He had seen Zims breakdowns, he had seen his grandiosity, he had seen his hurt and rage. All of it. But this was new. And in regards to Zim, Dib didn’t like new.

He noted how the Irkens antennae where flush against his head, like if dog ears where pinned back in fear or submissiveness. In that moment of comparing Zim to a dog, he had to fight back the very human urge to pet.

“I’m not going away, I’ve already said that. Last time I let you sulk in solitude, you were gone for weeks at a time.” Dib internally questioned why he had the urge to check on his enemy in the first place back then, but he didn’t give himself an answer. “I can compromise by not talking though. Startingggg, now.” He scooted closer to Zim until he was sitting next to him, leaning back and sighing. He let his weight rest on the palms of his hands as he stared at the ceiling. He thought he heard a light chitter from the other, but he ignored it. If Zims antennae could get any flatter against his skull, they would.

With the lab now silent and fairly dark, all that was left was the very slight buzzing of the monitor. Zim found without the idiots voice to keep his thoughts from spilling around in his head, he was left with the noise. The awful noise. The metaphorical but equally real noise.

He hated the noise.

Zim sighed again, quieter this time, before swiftly standing and pacing back over to the monitor. He ignored the other as he stared curiously, mulling over whether to try the call again or shut the screen off. After a few moments of working his jaw, he opted for the latter, seating himself in the chair and instead burying his head in his arms at the control panel.

Dib stared. This was going nowhere, wasn’t it? Years and years of trying to convince this dumbass of the obvious, and still. Or did he know, and just refuse to admit it to himself? Dib couldn’t decide which option was more likely. He shifted to face him, biting his tongue. “Silence sucks. I’m done shutting up.”

Zim barely peeled his head up from his arms to glare at the human. “You’re an idiot. I don’t want any more idiot ramblings.”

“Takes one to know one,” Dib shot back half heartedly. “Least you shut the screen off. I really thought you were gonna try again.”

Zim scowled to himself as he turned to bury his head in his arms again. He didn’t even give a proper retort back, just groaned and let his antennae fall slack.

“Cant you see it’s a good thing? Well, not them being horrible leaders or whatever. But think of what you could do. It sucks that they don’t care but they don’t care about ANYTHING that you do. Which means you can do absolutely anything you want.” Dib pauses for a second, “Well, except take over the planet. Obviously. But everything else is free game! Isn’t that a good thing?”

Zim shuffled in his seat slightly, finally looking up from his arms and giving Dib an unreadable expression. Was that confusion? Hurt? Apathy? Dib honestly couldn’t tell. But he left his arms open in offering of his propositions anyway.

“And I mean….I know it isn’t much, but you still have me, right?”

Zims first instinct was to grimace in disgust. He looked away, contemplating, not answering Dib immediately. But then he looked at him again and watched as a cheesy, toothy grin plastered the young adults face. That unreadable expression was back on Zims face. “Yeah. I do.”

The words came out solemnly, making Dib relax his outstretched arms. His smile also faded, but it returned a few seconds later, and he stood, confidently pacing to where Zim was sitting and kneeling ever so slightly to meet his eye level.

“I don’t know about you but I think it’s cool when there’s at least ONE person who knows what it’s all like. Or, at the very least, can understand it.” Dib leaned on the control panel. “I know you can’t deny that. I know cause you seek that kind of validation from me all the time.”

Zims head shot up and he glared, almost resembling a pout. But his antennae still lay flat against his head. “You wish someone as amazing as me did such a thing.”

Dibs smile didnt falter once. “Uh-huh.”

For some reason, the way Dib uttered that confirmation made Zim’s antennae twitch. He looked away, feigning confidence as he fidgeted with his uniform. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Human.”

Rolling his eyes, Dib allowed himself to lean off the control panel and closer to the Irken. “But you do though,” He quipped. “Remember when you begged me to give you a compliment in exchange for that soda? A compliment. Not even, like, one of my organs or something.”

Zims face was turning a different color, and he was afraid it was starting to become noticeable. “Stop it.”

“Or that time you were confused as to why I wasn’t COMPLETELY ENTHRALLED about being in a simulation where we live together.”

“Shut up.”

“Or that time you built some planet-ending machine and got mad when I wasn’t jumping for joy at the idea of you showing it off-“

“Shut UP, Dib!” Zim suddenly shot up, angry. His face was painted bright pink. His antennae still lay flat against his head. “Those where all things DUE to me or threats! Nothing else!”

“Then why are the threats empty? Or why are the requests for praise so desperate?” Dib smirked, not once faltering. Their faces were oddly close together. “I mean surely you would’ve been happy to follow through with all of those threats if they were actually threats.”

Zim couldn’t break Dibs gaze and it was eating him alive. He gulped, seeking from within himself any kind of plausible answer, but found nothing, instead finding himself staring dumbly at the equally dumb human in front of him. He felt as his antennae started to vibrate, and he shrunk in on himself again, only breaking Dibs gaze when he was seated once more. Dib gave an airy laugh.

“Yeah. I thought so. But hey, the feelings reciprocated, so I don’t care really.” He found himself staring at the Irkens antennae again, noting how far back they were positioned still. “I mean I gave you what you wanted and you gave me what I wanted…sort of. So evens even, right?” Dib knelt further and Zims eyes shot to his again. “Yknow. We don’t really have to be enemies anymore. Especially if there’s no plan for me to stop anyway.”

Zim narrowed his eyes. “Why would I ally with a disgusting human?”

“Fair point. Counter argument; who else do you have to ally with, space boy?”

Zim opened his mouth to retort, but came up empty, settling for clenching his fists and snarling. “I hate you.”

“Mmhm.” Dib dully acknowledged, “Is that why your antennae are positioned where they are? Or is that another coincidence?”

Said antennae twitched. Zim just looked away.

“I mean, I’ve never seen you so passive before. Body-language wise, anyway.” Dib shrugged. “Usually when an animals ears are back like that it means fear or submissiveness.”

This got the Irkens antennae to shoot right back up again. He glared daggers at Dib. “Like I would ever be subservient to you!”

“I said submissive, not subservient. Dumbass.”

Back down they go. Zim growled. “Do you enjoy being a nuisance to every living creature that breathes?”

“I kinda do actually,” Dib said with a smirk. He was getting under Zims skin. It was his favorite pastime. “Gives me reason to keep living. I’ve grown to liking living out of spite of others actually.” Dib stretched, cracking his knuckles as his arms hyperextended. “It’s even more fun when the person in question fucking LOATHES you.”

Zim glared at first, but then his expression softened into that unreadable expression again. This caught Dib off guard and his smirk fell, drawing attention to the Irken. Zim was looking at his gloved hand, mindlessly flexing his thumb claw in indecipherable thought. Dibs eyes trailed back to his antennae; flat, but tense. He couldn’t resist the urges anymore. With a mild amount of hesitance, Dib reached his hand up, letting it rest in an oddly gentle way on the top of Zims head. The other tensed at the touch, but didn’t move. “I mean, bickering is bickering. Spite is spite. At the end of the day it’s just….fun. Nothing else.”

Dib was surprised that his hand wasn’t immediately smacked away, but he was equally surprised at the noises the Irken emitted when he gave him gentle pats. He watched as the others antennae started to relax, cocking an eyebrow at the otherworldly trills and chitters Zim produced. Dib stifled a laugh at the sight, especially when he felt the alien pressing his head further into his hand, like a cat.

Dib shifted his gaze to look Zim in the eyes, about to make a snarky remark, but held his tongue when he saw the Irkens eyes were closed. At the sound of movement, Zim cracked a magneta-colored eye open to look back at Dib.

“Usually when someone goes for the head, it’s to kill.” Zim said neutrally. “Taller irkens aren’t especially known for giving out head pats to their shorter kin.”

This time, Dib allowed himself to airily laugh. “Thanks, captain obvious.” A sharp pain went up his hand. “Ow, what the fuck, Zim?! That hurt!” The human withdrew his bitten hand in an instant, scowling.

It was Zims turn to crack a smile, and it seemed oddly genuine. “That’s what would happen if they tried.”

Dib furrowed his brow. “Thanks for the info, I guess.” He let venom lace his last few words in that sentence, raising his hand experimentally to pet him again, only stopping when Zim ducked from his hand.

“If we’re doing this whole….’alliance’ thing, it’s on my terms and my terms alone. You have no power here, nasty human.” He narrowed his eyes at Dib. “You go too far, you get bitten. Or smacked. Whichever one I feel like doing that day.” Dibs hand fell back to his side.

“Man, you really are just like a cat.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I guess I agree to your stupid terms.”

“Good.” Zim smiled deviously. He stood up quickly, knocking Dib back onto his rear. Zim stood above him, still grinning maniacally. “For starters, get out of my lab. You’re making it smell bad in here.”

[asexual-spongebob]

I FINALLY FINISHED THE ONESHOT FOR MY IKREN IDIOT AU!!! :D

I decided to finish it today in honor of American Idiot’s 20th anniversary! (Which is the album it’s based off.) Green Day has been one of my favorite bands since childhood, so this is kind of a tribute to my child self lol. :)

You don’t have to have context from the album to read this btw. :) it’s angst with a happy ending! :D

I hope y’all enjoy!!

I think I might write more fics like this in the future tbh? I’ve been brainstorming ideas for a TaGr demolition lovers au, so we’ll see :)

[chaesvoguerice]

end of practice // iz*one

Everybody collapsed on the practice room floor the moment the door closed behind their choreographer. 

“Good job, guys,” Eunbi pants, wiping the sweat off of her forehead. 

Yena hauls herself groggily onto her feet, making her way over to the cold water dispenser. “This is officially the best water I’ve had in my life,” she groans, chugging the rest of it down and moving to the side when the rest of the members followed suit. “I thought that our life would be easier out of that survival show, but…” she trails off, deciding to just chuckle.

Chaewon gave her a teasing slap on her back. “Stop playing, you love it when fans cheer their hearts out for you, you aren’t capable of giving that up.”

“No, I could totally see her as a gamer or something,” Sakura comments.

Nako rolls her eyes. “You mean you want to be a gamer?”

Wonyoung crushes her paper cup and throws it into the trash can, plopping down on the couch in the corner of the practice room as she watches her unnies bicker. She closes her eyes and sighs, wondering if WIZ*ONE would enjoy their new song. 

Something in her tells herself of course they will, but she couldn’t help but wonder since their last comeback didn’t do very well. 

“Don’t fall asleep, Wony!” Minju shouts.

[thatonegeekygirl]

He Fought the Law (And the Law Lost): IZ Fanfic

this oneshot takes place in my strange but true au, so its zadf with good but still chaotic zim and teen dib! i started out writing this as crack, and it kind of stayed crackish, but also segued into fluff and a bit of angst. i possess 2.7% understanding of the american justice system so sorry if thats all nonsense, i am so, so welcome to suggestions. crossposted on wattpad. idk what else to say here?? have fun reading ya'll!

Dib woke up to a cheery Saturday morning, nowhere to be, and the smell of bacon drifting up from the kitchen downstairs. He stretched and yawned, his too-big UFO pattern blue pajamas hanging from his reaching arms. Gaz repeatedly claimed that too-big UFO pattern blue pajamas were an embarrassingly childish thing for a 17-year-old to own. Dib repeatedly ignored her. He’d gone his whole life tuning out the people telling him he was a weirdo, and he wasn’t about to stop now. He grabbed his glasses from the side table, kicked his feet loosely over the side of the bed, and stood. 

“Dib! Breakfast!” His sister's insistent voice yelled from downstairs.

“Coming!” Dib called back, picking his third pillow off the ground where it had fallen in the middle of the night, and throwing it back on the bed. He grinned as it landed perfectly in position between the two larger pillows. Well, if the whole paranormal thing doesn’t work out, at least I have competitive bed making as a fallback plan. He snickered to himself and padded to the door. He turned the knob and walked through the threshold, sniffing scents of bacon and egg hanging in the air, and–

I am an alien I am an alien I am an alien I am an alien–

The ringtone was a single lyric from the song Alien–surprise, surprise– repeated over and over again, and Zim despised it. Whenever he was reminded of its existence in Dib’s Short Angry Space Man phone contact he flew into a paranoid rage, ranting about how the humans may ‘grow suspicious’ or ‘connect the dots’ and snatch him up for experimentation. Dib replied to this with ‘they won’t connect shit’, and Zim neither appreciated the sentiment nor understood the reference. Dib crouched and fumbled about in his jeans’ pocket for a long moment before lifting the jeans off the floor and shaking them until the stubborn phone fell out of them. He picked it up and accepted the call, quirking a smile at the profile picture displayed on the screen–a blurred Zim with an enraged expression which Dib had taken after calling the Irken ‘shorter than the dwarfs’ in the Lord of the Rings movie they’d been watching.

“Hey, Zi–” “DIB!” 

Dib winced and pulled the phone away from his ear. “C’mon, man!”

“The angry blue humans have taken me hostage!”

Having gotten good at reading between the lines with Zim, Dib replied, “You’ve been arrested?”

“If that's what you Earthlings call shoved in a flashing vehicle, handcuffed to an infuriatingly dull adult human, dragged into a crumbling concrete building, and forced to stand in front of a striped wall while being assaulted by blinding lights before being tossed into a crowded, disgusting, primitive holding cell, yes,” Zim spat. Dib rolled his eyes at the sneer in the alien’s voice and said, “Settle down. What’d you do to get in trouble with the police? Wait, don’t answer that, I don’t even want to know.”

“Cease your worrying, human, there were no casualties! Not today, anyhow,” Zim said. “GIR and I were out purchasing the new flavor of Suck-Monkey–the reason for his love of those things is beyond me–and as we were exiting the establishment these two security drones appeared, took GIR away, and Irken-handled me into their whining car!” 

“That's weird…I’m pretty sure it's illegal to arrest minors like that…you were wearing your disguise, weren’t you?” Dib asked, suddenly worried. 

“Of course I was wearing my disguise, Dib,” Zim answered snidely. “What do you think I am? A human?”

“Nothing like some extraterrestrial racism to start off the day…” Dib muttered to himself. “Okay, Zim, I’m coming down to the station. I’ll be there in about 20 minutes. Do you know where they took GIR?”

“Do I look like a floogaschmog to you!? No I don't know where GIR is! If it weren’t for these confounded witnesses everywhere I’d–SHUT UP!”

“Jeez, Zim, I didn’t even say anything–”

“You and the other pitiful policing man informed me I had one phone call, you never specified the length of time it had to encompass!” Zim’s voice screeched, slightly muffled, as if he had pulled the receiver away from his mouth. “Well ya shoulda thought of that before you gave me the phone, moron!” A pause. “I don’t care if you're going to ‘be in deep shit’ with your superior! DON’T TOUCH THE PHONE OR ZIM WILL BITE YOUR POINTING DIGIT OFF!” 

Another pause, and then an annoyed huff blew from the line. “Insolent human. Anyway, GIR is in no danger, no matter where they took him. He’s nearly indestructible and equipped with top of the line Irken laser cannons and numerous knock-out drugs. Whether or not he possesses the presence of mind to employ them, however, is an entirely different problem...” 

“Alright,” Dib sighed. “I just have to get dressed and I’ll head over. You really have no idea what you’ve been taken in for?”

“Not a flu.”

“The phrase is ‘not a clue’, idiot.”

“ZIM IS NEVER WRONG! Goodbye, Dib.”

The line went dead. 

Dib pinched himself once to make sure he wasn’t just experiencing a particularly vivid nightmare, groaned when nothing happened, and shuffled to his closet to pull on some clothes.

__________________________________________

“Dib! If you don’t get your ass down here I’m eating your bacon!” Gaz yelled.

Dib half dashed, half jumped down the stairs, tugging on a red plaid sock. “You can have some of it,” he said, slipping into the kitchen. “I don’t have a lot of time to eat. Zim’s gotten himself arrested.”

“Took them long enough.” Gaz smirked, grabbing a piece of Dibs bacon out of the pan on the table. “What was he doing up so early on a Saturday morning?”

“It's 10:30,” Dib mumbled around his toast. 

“And a Saturday.”

“...I concede to your point. GIR wanted the new Suck-Monkey flavor, y’know, pineapple rosemary or something along those revolting lines. He probably saw it in an ad during his early morning cartoons. You know how he can get with that sort of thing…”

Dib and Gaz shared a knowing look.

“That was a dark day.” Gaz nodded solemnly. 

“Well, Zim did something at the wrong time and place and now he’s locked in a holding cell. Hopefully this is all just some big misunderstanding, like they thought Zim was a lost kid, or he’s reading the situation wrong,” Dib rambled, “but whatever it is, I don’t have much faith in Zim’s ability to get himself out of it in a way that doesn’t involve bribery or murder, so instead of watching the latest Mysterious Mysteries, I’m dealing with a deranged alien and a couple of irritated government employees.”

“How do you know they’re irritated?” Gaz asked.

“I’d assume that if someone called you a moron and threatened to amputate your finger, you’d be irritated too,” Dib huffed, grabbing his blue zip-up hoodie off a chair and his car key from the key rack. “Dad! I’m going out!”

“Don’t drink and drive, son!” Membrane called from the depths of his downstairs lab.

“It’s a sunny Saturday morning and the only friend I have to peer pressure me into drinking alcohol is an insane 170 year old alien,” Dib grumbled under his breath. “But thanks for the advice, Dad.” He swallowed the last of his toast and grabbed a second piece of bacon. “See ya later, Gazlene.”

“Good luck!” she yelled after him as he tromped out the door. “And don’t call me that!”

Dib shoved the second piece of bacon in his mouth. Technically, the handsome blue truck parked in their driveway did not belong to him. Technically, it belonged to his dad, but his dad never drove it–he preferred to take the massive white van containing a full-blown lab in the back and bearing the Membrane Labs logo on the side–so Dib had largely free-reign over it. Exempting the times Gaz demanded he loan it to her to practice her driving. It was a small truck, nothing like the behemoths that Dib occasionally saw dragging trailers or boats through town, and a well-loved one. Candy wrappers and empty cans were scattered about the backseat, numerous paranormal stickers dotted the outside, and various and assorted stains of unknown origin–cough cough GIR cough cough–coloured the interior. The cover for the hazard button had fallen off, claw marks left by an anxious Zim lined the bottom of the passenger seat, and the center console was filled with wads of cash and odds and bobs picked up from his past adventures. In the covered trunk Dib stored a plethora of investigating equipment, everything from wildlife cameras to satellite dishes, just in case he caught a big break and didn’t have time to grab his main gear from the house.

Dib pressed the unlock button on the key and the truck honked and flashed once. He yanked open the driver door, slid into the seat, and started the engine in one smooth motion. He then proceeded to spend a solid 20 seconds fumbling about with the seatbelt. Once he’d finally got it clicked in properly, he backed out of the driveway with all the care of someone who’d accidentally knocked over multiple lawn ornaments and mailboxes. Really, once he was on an actual road, he was a great driver. Honestly. 

Fortunately, it seemed to be one of those Saturdays when no one wanted to leave the house and the roads were mostly empty. A few stray bicyclists wound their lazy way down the main street, and Dib had an awkward confrontation with a silver Soobaroo at a four-way stop, but either than that the trip was uneventful, if a little rushed. Four minutes over the allotted time he’d given Zim, Dib pulled into the parking lot of the police department. Patting himself down just to make sure he hadn’t accidentally put a bomb in his pocket when he wasn’t paying attention, he took a breath and exited the car. He nervously swallowed once, before opening the glass door and heading into the bowels of government agency. He’d spent plenty of time trying to get into the station to expose Zim, but that seemed an easy task compared to that of getting the alien out without doing so.

The inside of the building was friendly enough. The wall to his left was lined with pamphlets advertising various help centers and safe drinking habits, and the glass window was covered in flyers for local businesses and performances. Past another set of glass doors lay a receptionist’s desk. After a moment's consideration, he pushed past them and walked up to it.

“Hi,” he said.

“Good morning, sir, what can I help you with?” The receptionist, a young man with blond hair, asked.

“I’m here to see my friend? He was arrested earlier this morning? His name is Zim,” Dib explained uncertainly.

“Ah, you must be Dib,” the man said, “come with me.”

He stood and motioned for Dib to follow him. He led him down a long corridor, down a set of stairs, and up to a locked door. He unlocked it with one of the keys hanging from his belt and gestured for Dib to enter.

Inside was a desk, two police officers, a man in a suit, three chairs, and a very angry Zim. He was sitting in one of the uncomfortable looking chairs and was also handcuffed, a thing he didn’t seem at all happy about. As he said he had been, Zim wore his disguise. However, he was not just wearing his wig, contacts, and pink uniform, but also a pair of those cheap, slapstick glasses with bushy black eyebrows, a tiny square mustache, and an obnoxious large plastic nose.

Dib, tired and utterly confused, had just enough brain power to deduce that the glasses may have had something to do with Zim’s current arrested state.

“Sit down,” the man in the suit said.

Dib complied, wincing as the hard plastic of the third chair dug into his spine.

“My name is Constable Buckley. You may call me Constable,” the man in the suit said. “You and Mister Zim are friends, correct?”

“Yes…” Dib replied, still staring at Zim.

“Then perhaps you can shed some light on why, exactly, he was recently charged with kidnapping?”

This startled Dib out of his stupor. “He’s been what!?”

“I take it you were not aware of this until now.” Constable eyed him.

“No!” Dib shrieked. He whipped his head back around to boggle at Zim. “We really need to get your information sharing priorities straight!”

“How was I supposed to know!?” Zim hissed back.

“Quiet, please!” Constable boomed. “Listen up. Unless it is quickly proved that Mister Zim is not guilty of these allegations, he will go to court.”

That was not good. Zim in court was the last thing they needed. He’d probably piss off the judge and jury so much with all his insults and overbearing attitude it wouldn’t matter if he was guilty or not. Best case scenario, he went to prison for a long time. Worst case scenario, he outed himself as an alien and Dib never saw him again.

“Okay. Okay…deep breath, Dib,” he muttered to himself. “Why exactly is he being charged with kidnapping?”

“Mister Zim was seen leaving the gas station on 4rd Street with a young child wearing a green dog onesie, looking aggressive and generally shady,” Constable explained. “Officers Carp and Chinook intercepted him and asked the child if the man he was with was his parent or guardian. The child, we now know his name to be Gyr, replied, quote, ‘Naw!’. Carp and Chinook, just to be certain–kidnapping is a serious charge, you know–asked Mister Zim if he was Gyr’s parent or guardian. Mister Zim replied, quote, ‘Ugh, of course not! Leave Zim be!’. This prompted my officers to arrest him and take Gyr into their custody.”

“You two have GIR!?” Zim cried, twisting around to glare daggers at the officers standing behind him. “Why, you–”

“MISTER ZIM!” Constable roared. “If you do not behave I will be forced to return you to your cell!”

Zim settled back in his seat and attempted to cross his arms haughtily, a task made difficult by the handcuffs. Eventually he gave up and settled for clenching his hands in fists by his sides.

“Thank you,” Constable said. “Now, is there anything you can think of, Dib, that may prove Mister Zim’s innocence?”

“Oh, just one thing…” Dib reached out and ripped the glasses off of Zim.

A collective gasp filled the room. Surprised and horrified ones from the police, and a pained and furious one from Zim as the tape holding the glasses on his face was mercilessly torn off. 

“Good God…” Constable muttered, mouth hanging open.

“Zim is not a forty year old man!” Dib cried. “He’s a kid with a horrible skin condition and a mean streak! I mean really, he's like four feet tall.”

“But…Gyr?” One of the officers asked timidly.

“My brother!” Zim shrieked as Dib eyed him meaningfully. “GIR is my little brother. He wears the green dog suit in, eh, a gesture of solidarity to my own green affliction. Being a foolish little worm baby I did not realize I should respond to your inquiry with ‘he is my brother’!”

“Do you have any way to prove these statements?” Constable asked, eyes wide.

“Er…” Dib picked at a nail worriedly.

“Yes!” Zim jabbed a finger in the air and growled when the handcuffs inadvertently pulled his other hand up with it. A whirring noise emanated from his PAK for a moment, followed by a cheerful ding. Zim handed Constable a short stack of neat papers. For once Dib was beyond relieved that no one else noticed the robotic appendage folding back into Zim’s PAK. “Here’s your proof, officer man.” Zim grinned smugly. “Mine and GIR’s passports and certificates of bornth!”

Dib was struck with the nearly uncontrollable urge to hit him. Fortunately, the police didn’t seem to notice the slip up.

“Everything seems to be in order…” Constable murmured, with the air of someone utterly bewildered, flipping through the forms.

“Thank you,” Zim said, pleased.

“...well, I suppose you’re free to go,” the man continued. “I’ll have Kyle bring Gyr around front to meet you. Apologies for the bother, Membranes.”

Dib’s brain took a long moment to turn over this piece of information as Constable unlocked the handcuffs from a smirking Zim’s hands and opened the door for them.

“Onward, Dib-thing!” Zim grabbed Dib’s arm and grinned. “I believe there is still enough Saturday left to make some floppy sugar disks!” Dib found himself being tugged out of the stuffy room, back down the blank hallway, and out the glass doors into the sunlight.

“Zim…” Dib started uncertainly.

“GIR!” Zim cried, upon seeing the robot. GIR, decked out in his green dog disguise, was being led out of the station towards them by two ruffled officers, both covered in crayon and some mystery liquid, looking like they’d just seen war.

“Mister!” GIR shrieked back, rushing forward and into Zim’s waiting arms. Dib had managed to convince GIR to call Zim Mister instead of Master, after having had a long and tedious discussion with Zim about the various reasons why this was a messed up thing to have happening.

“GIR, did they do anything to you?” Zim asked, looking the robot up and down with scrutiny.

“Nope!” GIR replied cheerfully. “We played with the colors and they gave me a new Suck-Monkey and then I threw it up on em!”

“That’s my GIR!” Zim grinned. “Now let’s go, Dib has come to take us home. We’re going to make floppy sugar disks!”

“They’re called pancakes,” Dib corrected slowly, train of thought finally arriving at the station. “And Zim, what last name, exactly, did you put on those documents?”

“Membrane,” Zim answered blithely. “That is your last name, yes?”

“Yes…” Dib nodded. “But why did you use it?” “You’re always telling me not to use The Human for my middle and final names, so I used yours instead,” Zim explained, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You do realize that makes us legally brothers, right?” Dib asked weakly, unlocking the car with an absentminded movement.

“Of course I realize that, Dib-thing.” Zim waved a hand in the air. “According to my studies in Urth customs, people living together and/or spending long periods of time in each other's company often become honorary members of their respective family units. Since we fill both of these fields to different extents, I deemed it reasonable to claim the Membrane name for ease of forging documents and simplicity when explaining our relationship.”

“...true,” Dib admitted. Zim tossed GIR into the backseat of the car and clambered in after him, feet not even close to touching the floor as he settled in the passenger seat.

“Won’t people be suspicious that my Dad suddenly has two more children than before?” Dib questioned, still not quite comprehending the implications of this recent turn of events.

“I doubt the masses will take any notice to GIR and I. As of now I don’t plan on making any public announcement or anything so they likely won’t even know we’re carriers of the Membrane name at all. And if they do grow suspicious, I’ll just show them the adoption papers and no one will be the wiser,” Zim explained smugly. “Do you think your father will mind?”

“No,” Dib replied, turning on the truck. “GIR, buckle up.” GIR wrestled with the seatbelt for a moment until Zim huffed loudly and scrambled into the back to help him. “He seems to have taken a liking to you,” Dib continued, as Zim forced the clip into the lock. “And he knows you’re an Irken, so we can just tell him it’ll help keep your cover from being blown and he’ll be all for it.”

“Good,” Zim said, leaping back into his seat and putting on his own seatbelt. “I’d hate to damage my relationship with the Professor in a battle for his name.”

“...adoption papers?” Dib muttered as an afterthought.

“Forging signatures is one of my specialties,” Zim gloated. 

Dib stared out the windshield. The car was running and the road was clear, but he remained in the same spot. Zim raised an eyebrow, or rather the space where an eyebrow would have been, and gave Dib an incredulous look. 

“Zim…” Dib said after an uncomfortably long pause. “You and GIR are my brothers now.”

“An accurate statement,” Zim nodded.

“You’re sure about this?” Dib prompted, turning to look at Zim.

“Sure I’m sure,” Zim answered proudly, then hesitated, a worried expression crossing his face. “...have I misstepped in some way? I can always null the documents…”

“No, no! It’s fine!” Dib laughed, breaking out in a grin. “I'm happy to have you two as adopted brothers.”

Zim grinned back. “Surprisingly, I’m happy to have you and Gaz as adopted siblings.”

“Surprisingly?” Now Dib raised an eyebrow.

“Irkens are not typically able to form emotional bonds,” Zim explained, “the ability to experience things like love and fondness are programmed out of our PAKs as smeets. It seems likely that my PAK’s…defective, nature,” he squirmed at the word, “has allowed me more freedom in this and other regards. You have that to thank for our friendship.”

“Well, I know what is seen as ‘defective’ on Irk is normal on Earth,” Dib said softly. “So I’m glad we got the Irken different from the rest. And I’m glad I can call myself your friend.”

“You humans and your glarking emotions,” Zim muttered, running a hand under his eye and wiping the suspiciously wet smear on his uniform. “Drive, Dib! We must get home in time to make the disks!”

“Alright, alright!” Dib laughed. “I’m going!” He pulled out of the parking lot and turned onto the street. It was just as quiet on the roads as before, so Dib relaxed his vigil a bit and admired the beautiful day outside.

“Oh, and Zim,” he said. “It's birth, not bornth.”

“Wrong!” Zim declared. “It's definitely bornth.”

“Dude, if you’re going to be a Membrane we’re going to have to work on your grammar. You can’t just be a tech genius, you’ve got to fit the whole part!” Dib gestured grandly with one hand, keeping the other on the wheel and ignoring his Dad’s voice telling him to always keep both securely holding it.

“It is not my fault your cursed Urthen language holds up against next to zero laws of logic,” Zim complained. “Irken is twice as complex but a schmillion times more sensical!”

“If it’s easier to understand than English, maybe you can teach me,” Dib suggested. “Y’know, as compensation for stealing my name.”

“Nuh uh, you said you were pleased that I have your name, Dib!” Zim pointed out gleefully. “My company is all the compensation you need.”

“Compensation, my ass!” Dib squawked, amused.

“Although,” Zim continued, ignoring Dib’s outburst. “Perhaps I will teach you anyway. It has been some time since I’ve conversed with someone in my own tongue. GIR does not count. And, if all else fails, it shall be entertaining to observe your attempts at pronunciation.”

“Glad I have your confidence, Zim.”

A comfortable quiet filled the car.

“Why the heck were you wearing those crazy glasses?” Dib asked, the thought striking him. “That was weird, even for you.”

Zim’s silence prompted Dib to glance at him. Zim was twiddling his thumbs and avoiding Dib’s eyes. “No reason,” the Invader said.

“Sure, sure. No reason at all. You were wearing ugly, wackadoo prop glasses with a gross fake nose and eyebrows for no reason,” Dib said casually, pursing his lips and nodding. 

There was a long silence.

“...I lost a bet with Minimoose,” Zim grumbled, slouching in his seat.

Dib suppressed a cackle. “Mmm. No shame in that,” he said seriously.

Zim glared darkly at him. “Silence your voice box. You are obviously holding in a pitiless laugh.”

A giggle escaped from his Dib’s sealed lips. “Okay, yes, but you have to admit it's pretty funny. Your purple stuffed-moose-robot somehow got you into a bet that ended with you walking around–in public–with the most embarrassing bad disguise mankind has ever known! You can at least admire his creativity.”

“Minimoose is a master manipulator! If only he weren’t so lovable I’d have scrapped him long ago!” Zim shook a tiny fist. “Damn that moose…”

Dib chuckled and turned his face back to the open road. Spring flowers dotted the sidewalk and sunlight tickled the colors into warmth, a breeze rustled the trees leaves. Zim reached forward and turned on the stereo, and Dib’s driving playlist bounced through the speakers with a laidback grace. With any luck, they’d be able to make pancakes with any great incident, and they could go to the library for a bit. There was a new paranormal guidebook Dib wanted to check out. 

Actually, it was early enough in the day still they might even make it out to the haunted house the guidebook had talked about, if he could scrounge up the ghost monitoring equipment from his storage area in the basement and get it set up in time. Zim would be thrilled. Any chance to explore the many oddities excited him almost as much as it excited Dib, something he was surprised and pleased to learn when they’d finally enacted a truce. The little alien was quite the curious thing. 

“Hey Zim?” Dib said.

“Yes, Dib-thing?” Zim looked up at him.

“It really is clue.”

“It’s not!”

[50c14lly4nx10u5]

hmmm i'm bored

should i work on suf/gf crossover, first fandom/gf crossover, prev fandom/iz crossover (i don't think i put that on docs after i think i'd haveta find the notebook it's in...), suf/iz crossover... i have a lot of crossover wips :l

[d3m0l1t10n-lvrs]

uhhh can we get a uhh "embracing them from a sudden hug from behind" fur . zadr 👍

Here you go!!! This was fun to write :3

AO3 version

Dib sighed and rubbed his eyes. 12 hours in the lab does wonders for your health. The human had been working endlessly on a sample of Vortian skin Zim had 'stumbled upon', seeing how it reacts to different substances and environments. He was fascinated! He wondered if he could score a live test subject one day...

Dib shook his head. "No zoning out..." He mumbled to himself as he reached a gloved hand for a pair of tweezers. Just as he grabbed them, a little green roach scurried up behind the human and wrapped his arms around his waist, burying his head into the other's back. "Ah!" Dib squeaked, but immediately relaxed when he felt familiar claws digging into his skin. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to pinch.

"Dib-Lover! You have been working for millennia!  Zim demands attention!" The little alien complainer, stepping on his tippy toes to allow himself to rest his head on the human's shoulder.

"Just a few more minutes" Dib yawned, picking up a skin sample while the Irken held him. "No!  Besides, your feeble human body needs to rest, or it'll collapse!"

"It's fine, bug..." Dib paused to let out another yawn. Zim groaned. "Idiot! Even an alien can see the signs of exhaustion! Out of the lab, now!"

"Mmm, no" Dib stuck out his tounge. Zim hissed playfully in response. A few minutes passed, just Dib working as Zim tried to coax him out of the lab, until Zim's mouth curled up at a brilliant idea. MANIPULATION! NOBODY CAN RESIST ZIM'S CHARM!

"Dib-Lover..." Zim whined, nuzzling his head into the crook of Dib's neck and begining to run his antennae through Dib's hair. The human felt a shiver run down his spine, and his tiredness wash over him. He set his tools down and rested his hands on the alien's, leaning into the touch. "Mmyeah?" He mumbled.

"Rest. For Zim?" He turned Dib's face to be able to look at the Irken's big bug eyes. Dib let a puff of air out of his nose and smiled softly. "Fine. But only for a few minutes, okay, bug?" Zim smiled triumphantly.

A few seconds went by, and Zim was still clinging to his lover. "Uh- are we gonna go?" Dib cocked his head to the side. "Carry me." Zim replied, flashing his signature shit eating grin.

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 CAUGHT IN BETWEEN kim chaewon & huh yunjin

🧋★ ͘ ⴰ ever since iz*one it’s always been chaewon and yn, so what happens when fans slowly start to make it yn and yunjin ?

a series of fan compilations and oneshots during this roller coaster ride of chaewon, yn and yunjin.

PARING — kim chaewon x 6th member reader x huh yunjin

YUNYN vs CHAEYN FILES 📁

yunyn and chaeyn being a kdrama love triangle for five minutes straight 1M views

IFHY (oneshot)

chaewon using her iz*one privilege against yunjin for five mins 2.6M views

GET AWAY CAR (oneshot)

lesserafim chaeyn will never be as gay as iz*one chaeyn 2.5M views

yuyn headcanons

cookie jar (oneshot)

chaewon and yn live moments

10 minutes of chaewon and yunjin agreeing with each once in a blue moon 978k views

jealousy and leader duties (oneshot)

more to be added…

[kyuusberry]

lights out | ive/ex. iz*one wonyoung - oneshot

pairing: stalker!wonyoung x gender neutral reader

genre/theme: stalker wony, yandere type stuff, angst, high school!au, dark themes

warnings: kidnapping

ib: none!

a/n: the wony part of the ive oneshot series i was supposed to finish before my ive concert.. (COUGH MARCH 16 COUGH.. it’s may) link to the rest of the series is here

you were walking home after getting ditched by a couple “friends”. it sucked, being used like this. but you were used to it, at this point.

after a certain age you stopped truly believing and trusting others. in the end it could and possibly would always end up like this.

you. alone. again.

you sighed, stopping to check the time. once you stopped you suddenly felt like someone was watching you. following you even…

this made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. maybe it was because it was cold. or maybe because of that feeling.. that creepy feeling of being watched. alone. in the dark.

you shook it off, holding onto the slim sliver of hope that you were just being paranoid. then you got pulled. pulled into a dark alleyway, with someone covering your mouth with their hand.

the hand was cold and you couldn’t see the person’s face. only their slim figure and long hair. the street lights were too far away and the moonlight wasn’t shining in this particular area.

“scream and you’ll regret it.” their voice was soft, like a females. but threatening and terrifying at the same time. they took their hand off of your mouth and you could see their smile.

the smile that sent a shiver down your spine. you were guessing it was a girl because of the manicured nails and the long silky hair. the girl leaned forward and pressed her lips against your ear.

“guess who i am and maybe i’ll let you go. guess wrong and you’ll stay with me for a while.” she laughed, her laughter giving you chills.

“uh— uh.. can i get a hint..?” you were scared, could barely think even though their voice was the biggest hint you could get.

“hm.. well. i’m a girl. and we go to the same high school.. same year. almost all of the same classes. good enough?” before you could respond she cut you off, “not giving you any more hints. oh! and also you get 20 seconds to guess.”

“shit.” you thought. you were screwed. those hints were useless. you knew many girls in your grade and as much as you wanted to say that her voice sounded familiar, it didn’t.

“10.”

“9.”

“8.”

“7.”

“think of something, y/n!” you were screaming at yourself internally, hoping for someone, anybody to save you.

“6.”

“5.”

“4..”

“3..”

“2..”

“1.” the girl smiled. her smile large and scary, like a predator looking at it’s prey. she laughed, “aw. you didn’t guess in time!”

“no!— wait!—“ you exclaimed.

“lights out.”

[fillinforlater]

IZ*ONE Masterlist

This is the part of my Masterlist with all things IZ*ONE! I made this special segment, because my favorite girl group has literally so much content that I decided to split it up to make my One-Shot Masterlist less crowded. All IZ*ONE Oneshots, threesomes and orgies (+ crossovers) are in this part. Orgy-type smuts with 2+ idols are orange.

My popular IZ*ONE focused/included series are in my Series Masterlist, other groups are in the One-Shot Masterlist!

SERIES MASTERLIST HERE

ONE-SHOT MASTERLIST HERE

Stats: 50 Links; 30 Minju & 18 Yujin Stories total

Eunbi

Eunbi - Castle of A Thousand Spiders (Debut)

Eunbi - Legendary Cookies (IZ*ONE 6some)

Eunbi - Inspection Day (ft. Chaewon, Yujin) TW

Eunbi - Just Testing (ft. 29 other idols)

Eunbi - Mildly Unfair (ft. Wonyoung, Karina)

Series Masterlist (L4 - [3 Parts])

Series Masterlist (Eleven to One - [2 Parts])

+

Minju

Minju - Four Cherries (IZ*ONE + TWICE 5some)

Minju - Legendary Cookies (IZ*ONE 6some)

Minju - Fanmating (3Kim Quickie ft. Sakura & Chaewon)

Minju - A Collection for a Special Date: Part I (Birthday smut)

Minju - A Collection for a Special Date: Part II (Birthday fluff)

Minju - A Collection for a Special Date: Part III (Birthday smut / futa!Minju)

Minju - A Collection for a Special Date: Part IV (Birthday fluff)

Minju - A Collection for a Special Date: Part V (Birrhday fluff)

Minju - The Neighborhood Knows (Quickie)

Minju - Needy. Greedy. Breedy (Collab with @sooyadelicacies)

Minju - The other Fanmeeting (futa!Minju)

Minju - Undress Under duress

Minju - SULLied MINd (ft. Sullyoon)

Minju - Sometimes, Everytime (futa!Minju)

Series Masterlist (Classmating - [2 Parts])

Series Masterlist (Phone - [6 Parts])

Series Masterlist (Eleven to One - [8 Parts])

+

Hitomi

Hitomi - Placebo Effect (Quickie)

Hitomi - Just Testing (ft. 29 other idols)

Series Masterlist (Spaceship: Horizon - Season 1 - [1 Part])

+

Sakura

Sakura - Legendary Cookies (IZ*ONE 6some)

Sakura - Fanmating (3Kim Quickie ft. Chaewon & Minju)

Sakura - Just Testing (ft. 29 other idols)

Sakura - The Gamer and the Pornstar (ft. Hayoung of fromis_9)

Sakura - The Award She Wants (Quickie)

Series Masterlist (Spaceship: Horizon - Season 1 & 2 - [2 Parts])

+

Chaewon

Chaewon - LOYAnaL (Quickie ft. Winter of aespa)

Chaewon - Four Cherries (IZ*ONE + TWICE 5some)

Chaewon - Fanmating (3Kim Quickie ft. Minju & Sakura)

Chaewon - Inspection Day (ft. Eunbi, Yujin) TW

Chaewon - Just Testing (ft. 29 other idols)

Series Masterlist (My Kinky Wife - [1 Part])

Series Masterlist (Eleven to One - [3 Parts])

+

Yuri

Yuri - Legendary Cookies (IZ*ONE 6some)

Yuri - Just Testing (ft. 29 other idols)

Yuri - Friends that can keep a secret (MMMF)

Series Masterlist (L4 - [2 Parts])

+

Hyewon

Hyewon - Legendary Cookies (IZ*ONE 6some)

Hyewon - The Pull (ft. NingNing)

Series Masterlist (L4 - [4 Parts])

Series Masterlist (Eleven to One - [3 Parts])

+

Yena

Yena - Master['s] Ball[s]

Yena - Just Testing (ft. 29 other idols)

Yena - WICKED LOVER (Female Reader)

Series Masterlist (Spaceship: Horizon - Season 2 - [2 Parts])

Series Masterlist (Eleven to One - [1 Part])

+

Yujin

Yujin - Inspection Day (ft. Eunbi, Chaewon) TW

Yujin - C.Ollection (ft. 8 other idols)

Yujin - Never Caught (futa, ft. Wonyoung)

Yujin - Always Caught (ft. Wonyoung)

Series Masterlist (Eleven to One - [13 Parts])

Series Masterlist (T[w]o find love - [1 Part])

+

Nako

Nako - Just Testing (ft. 29 other idols)

+

Wonyoung

Wonyoung - Just Testing (ft. 29 other idols)

Wonyoung - Mildly Unfair (ft. Eunbi, Karina)

Wonyoung - Never Caught (ft. futa!Yujin)

Wonyoung - Always Caught (ft. Yujin)

Wonyoung - Maknae Royale (ft. 7 other idols)

+

Chaeyeon

not yet

+

#

[raspberry-bakery]

Hiii! Im shy to ask but...i luv your blog raAAAh, can i ask for a one shot about a playful cg!Medic cooing/being silly at babyre!reader? Pwetty pweaseee!! I can imagine this man trying to make his little one a giggly shy mess >.< (I wanted to request this using my agere acc but tumblr didn't let me cuz its meanie) thankies i wuv you and no pressure ofc<3;3

—@Saccharineboy

Cg!Medic oneshot🩺🫀

Medic smiled as he looked down into the playpen. The reader plays with their toys, sitting on the foam mat to prevent from getting hurt. The baby looks up at him and smiled, giggling playfully and reaching out to him. Medic happily complied and picked them up, patting their head.

“Hallo little baby! Who iz zo happy??” He asked in a cooing tone. The baby in his hands babbled softly. Medic ponders for a little while before sticking his tongue out to the baby who giggled wildly at the act.

“Ach! Funny faces gotz you my dear!” He chuckled calmly and set the baby back down in the playpen. The reader looks up at him with confusion painted on their face.

Medic covers his face with his gloved hands and then undoes the act. “Peekaboo!” He smiled warmly as the baby turned to a laughing mess. She repeating the action with the addition of a silly face hidden behind his hands resulting in even more giddiness in the reader.

He pets the head of the regressor in a fatherly manner, ruffling up their hair. “Oooh? Your juzt a giddy little mess! Aren’t you??” He teased with a playful cooing tone and booped their nose gently which sent them into a little giggle.

𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐬♡︎ ૮꒰ ˶- ༝ -˶꒱ა

Psst.. I take requests by the way!!^^

(I think you can see that I specialise more in headcanons and stuff like that xd)

[inbarfink]

You know, ‘Invader Zim’ is not a show that takes it’s continuity too seriously, one that really doesn’t care about inexplicably bringing characters back to life or bizarre endings that are ‘snapped back’ in the next episode, or putting the Christmas Episode chronologically after the Valentine’s Day episode… 

But I actually don’t think making an Invader Zim timeline that takes all episodes into consideration and makes sense is not that tall a task. I mean, yeah, Zim did turn into a bologna, but like… he probably got himself out of tighter jams. It’s not that implausible that he and Dib managed to save themselves off-screen.

Except, the actual moment that makes constructing a full canon-complaint and convincing IZ Timeline actually difficult - is this oneshot gag in “Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain.”

[pukner]

Baz | part two

a steddyhands twt thread turned oneshot

|| Rated Gen || Stede and Ed take a brief vacation to visit Stede's family, and find a surprise.

part one / part two

It's a small shack, nearly a cottage, nestled neatly by the edge of the jungle, where few wander. The path is clearly only walked by a few.

It's-- nice. Like a dream someone else might've had. It's certainly never occurred to Ed to dream of a place like this for himself-- small and unassuming, nothing particularly fine or exciting or remarkable about it.

There's a girl, with a riot of blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, going through various fighting drills in the garden. Dressed practically, sturdy boots and worn trousers. Her movements are as familiar to Ed as his own. Which makes sense, considering who taught Ed the finer points of using a sword.

There's a boy sitting by the porch, and next to him is a man, cane propped up next to him.

He looks good, is the thing. Less strain around the eyes. Older, thinner, less muscle tone. But there's something softer around his mouth. Something gentle about his eyes. He looks up at the exact moment the girl does.

His eyebrows fly up. Ed doesn't know what his face is doing.

"Dad!" say the kids as one, looking moderately pleased.

"Childr--wait, Izzy?" yells Stede, flabbergasted. Which is fair.

"Jesus Christ," says Iz, looking resigned, "Fucking Mary."

"You cursed again!" says Louis, delighted.

"And I won't stop," says Iz, flatly. Then, quietly, "Ed."

"Iz," says Ed.

"Did you know," Stede hisses, rounding on Ed.

"I figured it out the second she said he was a terrible gossip," Ed says, pitching his voice so it would carry.

Izzy's face loses that strange, sad cast and scowls, "I've never gossiped a day in my life, Edward Teach."

"But you do?" says Louis, innocently.

Yeah, like, all the time," says Alma, "with Miss Evelyn and mum, you guys get drunk and--"

"Alright," says Izzy, in the same tone as when the crew gets too uppity, "Why don't we head inside for some fucking drinks. Jesus."

He leans heavy on his cane as he walks. Ed watches him, wonders what human flesh tastes like. Stede looks at him, can clearly read the thought on his face, and pulls him along. The kids are told to stay outside. Grown-up talks, says Iz, and he sounds like a dad. It's hilarious.

It must be said, Ed's extremely fucking confused. He's never seen Iz like this; all unbuttoned and relaxed. No sword at his hip.

He pulls out a bottle of whiskey.

"It's barely noon," says Stede.

"I'm not having this conversation sober."

"You wanna talk?" says Ed, hopefully.

Iz levels him with an expression of supreme judgment. Ed's really missed his bitchy little face. He also realizes that Stede has a very similar bitchy little face. Is his type just bitchy little men? Is this why he broke up with Jack?

They end up at the table, day drinking.

"I'm not going back," Izzy says, firmly. He seems like a different man. Ed thinks his heart might be breaking. Some horrid, cruel part of him hates Izzy for getting better without him there.

Then, abruptly, he realizes that this is the exact same horrid feeling Iz had about Stede. Silence, again.

"The children seem to like you," Stede says, apropos of nothing.

"They're good kids. That Alma's going to be terrifying one day."

"I don't doubt it," says Stede, "I've heard good things about your beets, by the way."

Iz looks at Ed, baffled. Ed shrugs. Maybe Stede just really likes beets.

"We've been thinking about visiting the children more often," Stede goes on, in that weird airy tone of his, "More shore leaves."

"...we have?" says Ed.

"Yes, Edward," says Stede, pointedly. Ed doesn't give a rat's ass about the children. He nods anyway.

"...good for you?" says Iz, confused, "I don't care?"

Stede nudges Ed. Ed nudges him back. Stede stares at him.

Wait, oh. "Can we visit?" asks Ed.

"Why would you want to?" asks Iz, "You fucking hate being on land."

"I'd do it for you," Ed says.

Izzy blinks, startled. That hurts. He deserves it, though.

"Because you love me," he says, slowly.

"And I've unfortunately grown somewhat fond of you," Stede adds, in the manner of someone delivering some very bad news.

"What," says Izzy.

"My fault," says Ed.

"I don't feel murderous rage when I look at you anymore," Izzy informs Stede, "That's all you're getting."

"I'll take it," says Stede, looking determined.

Ed knows that look. Doggedly determined, this one. Iz is about to be wooed. No idea what he's just signed up for, poor guy.

Nothing's been solved, of course. Ed still tastes blood in his mouth, Izzy's never going to walk the same again, Stede still has very little idea of how deep this whole thing goes. But it's a start.

Outside, the kids are laughing. Iz has eased up, doesn't look so small.

"So," says Ed, grinning all shit-eating. Because they haven't solved it, and he'll never be his First Mate again, but Ed has permission to try. Which is a big improvement from Past Tense Iz, "Tell me about your beets, Iz."

"Shut the fuck up, Ed," says Iz, but he's grinning back.

They'll be fine. Or, they'll eventually be fine. They'll get there.

And, actually, someone should do something about the Mary-Jackie alliance. Can't let that go unsupervised. Imagine the fucking havoc they'd wreak.

End

[aomiinwonderland]

Yayyy, hannigram fic on the oneshot collection hihi

Iz fluff for season 1 after Budge attacks Will and Hannibal. Hope yall have fun readinggg

[pixlezz]

monkey kid disease pt 3

[snipit of a oneshot at the end of rambling]

guyz the monkey kid brainrot iz so bad 😭 i am currently in the middle of writing a bsd story (dogs hunt dogs) however yesterday i was only able to write 100 wordz because i had like. no inspiration for it and then i turned around and am writing an mk oneshot with slight shadowpeach and tell me why i already have like 600 wordz... like thiz iz not writerz block anymore itz just bsd block 😭

do i miss bsd? 100% im still very into it but i happen to only really be into it whenever new chapters release. i feel like im just heavily burned out from having that hyperfix for 3 yearz straight. itz still a spintrest but dot dot dot monkie kid! i have continued to talk peoplez earz off about it and i am not okay in the head. anyway! season 5 july 29th /j

“ ‘m not gawking.” MK retorted with another eyeroll which made him pause as the Monkey King raised his eyebrow. Taking a deep breath, MK composed himself before he went off on his mentor. He wasn’t one to have too much of a temper, even if he got annoyed and had a sharp tongue he was usually able to hold it in regards to his mentor. However… ever since… the incident, he found his tongue and action getting him into more and more trouble. 

It started with a few snappy retorts at monsters and demons he was fighting before it escalated to him being far more rude and careless around Pigsy and Tang. What really was the slap in the face was when he seemingly snapped at Mei for something relatively harmless. Like, a literal slap to the face.

He returned to his mentor with a handmark on his face as he explained how he had been feeling. More caged… like his body was numb and didn’t belong to him. How in the back of his mind he felt that… that thing taunting him. Pushing him and willing that he would lose control. Terrified of that prospect, that’s the only reason he was sitting with his mentor mediating. He didn’t see the effect or how it would realistically help him but… he trusted that maybe it could be the start of something.

“Then stop staring.” The Monkey King started with a swish of his tail as he opened his eyes and stretched his arms before turning towards MK with a neither annoyed or upset look. Instead, it was a watchful look with just a twinge of concern. “I get that you’re bored out of your mind, but if you don’t put in the effort then nothing will amount to what we’re trying to do.” 

MK frowned as he uncrossed his legs and stretched them as his fingers drummed silently against them. “No offense Monkey King, but I really don’t see how this is supposed to help me not…” Be a monster? No, that’s not right. Destroy? No. No, that's not it either. Cause mayhem? Get out. 

“Lose control.” Is what MK settled on after the voice disappeared. It still clung like ink, it still clung like a parasite. 

explodez.

[masterfvck]

Introduction post

Who am I?

I don't know either if I'm being honest... Okay okay. My name is Sharpie, and I'm a Kpop NSFW writer. I mostly write smut, yes, but I also write fluff and angst and all other kinds of stuff. I pretty much only write GxG stuff, but I do write G!P!! Often. I occasionally write for NCT(all units) but I am quite new to them 😅 it's the only BG I will write... For now.

I use She/Her pronouns and I am a big dumb useless Sapphic. I love women.

Requests

Am I open to requests? Yeah. All the time!!

I can write blurbs, whole fanfics, small or big oneshots, headcanons... Anything.

Just ask me 😋 Don't be afraid to be specific, I love when it's specific 🙏🙏

Blacklisted things

I will not write smut about minors in any way. Keep in mind, these are real people.

No !nc3st. Again, real people. It's weird. Also I have bad experiences with this concept, so it makes me ick

No watersports or scat, just not my thing yk?

Main pairings

Okay so main pairings are the ones who I mostly write for. I will not do minor x adult unless there's like only a 1/2/3 year age gap. But no smut!!

I will write about other ships as well, so you can request other things obviously 😀 I also can do Idol/Reader 🙏

(G)I-DLE

Minqi(Yuqi/Minnie)

2yeon(Soyeon/Miyeon

Sooshu(Soojin/Shuhua)

Stayc

Isayoon(Isa/Yoon)

TWICE

Satzu(Sana/Tzuyu)

Sahyo(Sana/Jihyo)

Dubchaeng(Dahyun/Chaeyoung)

Michaeng(Mina/Chaeyoung)

Dahmo(Dahyun/Momo)

What's Nayeon and Sana's ship name...

Motzu(Momo/Tzuyu)

3mix(Jeongyeon/Jihyo/Nayeon)

AESPA

Ningselle(Ningning/Giselle)

Jiminjeong(Karina/Winter)

Winning(Winter/Ningning)

LE SSERAFIM

Summerz(Chaewon/Kazuha)

Purinz(Yunjin/Chaewon)

Petalz(Kazuha/Sakura)

Hotcoolz(Yunjin/Sakura)

IZ*ONE

Chaekkura(Chaeyeon/Sakura)

Jinjoo(Yujin/Minju)

Yenyul(Yena/Yuri)

Ssamyul(Chaewon/Yuri)

Annyeongz(Yujin/Wonyoung)

Wonnako(Wonyoung/Nako)

Kangbi(Hyewon/Eunbi)

Woolimz(Chaewon/Eunbi)

Newjeans

Note: I only write smut for Hanni and Minji

Bbangsaz(Minji/Hanni)

What's the name for Haerin/Hyein 😢

Danielle/Minji. I know only Catnipz, Bbangsaz and Kittyz for names 💔

Blackpink

Chaennie(Rosé/Jennie)

Chaelisa(Rosé/Lisa)

IVE

Sentimentals(Gaeul/Rei)

2kim(Gaeul/Liz)

Lizrei(Liz/Rei)

Annyeongz(Wonyoung/Yujin)

LOONA

Yvesoul(Yves/Jinsoul)

Lipsoul(Jinsoul/Kim Lip)

Chuuves(Chuu/Yves)

Chuusoul(Chuu/Jinsoul)

Vives(Vivi/Yves)

Mamamoo

Wheebyul(Wheein/Moonbyul)

Moonsun(Moonbyul/Solar)

Hwabyul(Hwasa/Moonbyul)

Wheesun(Wheein/Solar)

ITZY

Chaerji(Chaeryeong/Yeji)

Yuchae(Yuna/Chaeryeong)

Ryuryeong(Ryujin/Chaeryeong)

Ryeji(Ryujin/Yeji)

2Shin(Yuna/Ryujin)

Jinlia(Ryujin/Lia)

YeNa(Yeji/Yuna)

NCT(all units included)

Dotae(Doyoung/Taeyong)

Yuwin(Yuta/Winwin)

Kunwin(Kun/Winwin)

Kunten(Kun/Ten)

Johnmark(Johnny/Mark)

Haeil(Haechan/Taeil)

Winyang(Winwin/Yangyang)

Crossover ships

Jenzuha(Jennie/Kazuha(BP, LSRF))

Chaejeong?? Winwon??(Chaewon/Winter(AESPA, IZ/LSRF)

Ryurina(Ryujin/Karina(ITZY, AESPA))

Ryuwinrina(Ryujin/Karina/Winter(ITZY, AESPA))

Tags

I'll use some tags for this account when I talk about different things.

Sharpie Puppyverse:

Ship tags. Ofc

Sharpie fics: for my FICS posted on here!!

Sharpiespa: Aespa fics

Two sharpies: TWICE fics

Itz Sharpie: ITZY fics

Le Sharpie: Le sserafim fics

New Sharpies: Newjeans fics

(sharpie) idle: Gidle fics

Mama sharpie: Mamamoo fics

Stan Sharpie: LOONA fics

NCpie: NCT FICS(all units)

Sharpie pink: Blackpink fics

Sharpive: IVE fics

Sharpiz*one: Iz*one fics

SharpieC: StayC fics

NSharpieFW: smut/NSFW

SharpieFW: Sfw(fluff, angst ect)

Sharpie on drugs: just me talking and shit posting 😜 being silly and stuff

-

Taken anons: 🥭

(anon rules: no slurs plz that's all 🥺 feel free to ask for an anon anytime!! Don't be shy plsplsplsplspls!!!!)

-

Okay bye. That's all I have to say

[ducktoo]

Forgot to introduce

You know, i should’ve introduced myself before posting the story lol, but never late than never

Uhh, hi! U can call me Ducktoo (or Duck). I got into Kpop in the middle of 2018 (the best year ngl) and have been hooked on since.

My favourite group (not in order) includes:

IZ*ONE (and also include the offsprings)

Dreamcatcher

Fromis 9

Twice

Red velvet

WJSN

Oh my girls (recent)

Aespa (recent)

Fun fact, i used to write a lot during 2020-21 on wattpad with an IZ*ONE oneshot until i let it rest….until now when i became delulu after the Aespa concert.

So here we are.

But yeaa, feel free to ask me anything ig! Lovely to meet yall