#defective

[ya-killin-me-smalls]

Sanmos divorce arc

one of many of the bad endings that I'd considered for Defective but ultimately didn't make the final cut

under the break :)

“Can I talk to you?” He’d tried to sound as assertive as he could, but his voice felt flat and sounded small. It was enough to stop Sanford on his way out the door, Deimos’s stomach twisting in knots. Silence stretched between them, Deimos staring at his partner’s back and wringing his hands anxiously.

Sanford sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Make it quick,” he said as he turned to face him, leaning against the doorway.

Deimos had to swallow the lump that formed in his throat now that he could see Sanford’s face. He looked tired. Irritated. Angry. He was mad at him and he wasn’t trying to hide it. “It’s uh- It’s about the uh- the other day-“ he fumbled, feeling like he was physically shrinking under Sanford’s gaze. “I just- I wish you’d stop avoiding me.“

“Yeah, and I wish I had a partner that planned on sticking around. We’ve been over this, Deimos. I want space.” Sanford turned to leave once again, Deimos rushing forwards to stop him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Would you quit being such an asshole and fucking listen to me?” he hissed. “You can go be mad at the desert in a minute, but there’s something I need to say to you.”

Sanford shoved his hand away. “Fucking what, Deimos? There isn’t a lot to talk about. You made yourself clear and so did I, so unless you’ve magically changed your mind, I don’t wanna hear it.”

That did it. Deimos’s eyes stung as he took a step back. “You know what? Forget it. I’m done.”

“Deimos-“

“No! You don’t get to do this to me!” He yelled, backing up further when Sanford reached out towards him. “You don’t get to up and fucking ditch me when I need you just because you’re mad! I had days to live and you left me there on my goddamn deathbed for hours because I was scared and you left me.” His voice broke, the tears starting to fall. “And fucking- Now I find out that I’ve got thirty years and knowing Doc’s estimates it’s a quarter of that and what do you do? You tell me you need space and disappear for several days. You go and beat the shit out of everything you come across because you can’t put your hands on me.”

“Deimos, it’s not like that and you know it-“

“Then what is it?!” He yelled it loud enough to make Sanford flinch, running his hands through his hair and gripping at the strands. “Do you even fucking care about me? Do you?! Because it feels like you’re just mad that you won’t have somewhere to stick your dick in a few years.”

“Shut your mouth,” Sanford snarled, fists clenching at his sides. “What makes you think- Do you really-“ He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, his voice low and dangerous. “What exactly are you trying to say?”

He wanted to scream. Deimos’s breath hitched on a bit-back sob and he had to spend several seconds steadying his voice before speaking again. “I spent four goddamn months dying alone because I knew this is what would happen if I didn’t keep you out of the loop. I’m saying that I’m tired of you walking out on me when I need you. I’m saying that you don’t respect the fact that I don’t wanna live through eight million transplants. I’m saying that you don’t care about how this shit makes me feel. I’m saying that you don’t fucking love me and I’m tired of you pretending that you do.”

Sanford stared him down, silent, and Deimos had never felt more ashamed of himself, shivering with adrenaline and hiccupping pathetically. It took everything in him to not fall to his knees and cry like the baby that he was, unable to meet his partner’s gaze. He was mad. There was no way he wasn’t after that. The silence was killing him but he dreaded hearing his voice again.

It felt like forever and a half before footsteps started to slowly approach and instinct had Deimos shrinking back automatically.

“Deimos…” Sanford said, his voice quiet and gentle, a stark contrast to just a few minutes ago. He reached out, hesitating only a moment, and cupped Deimos’s cheek.

Deimos closed his eyes, trying his hardest to stop crying as Sanford’s thumb brushed over his skin, sinking into the warm hand. “I can’t keep- keep doing this with you-“ he managed, a second hand resting on the other side of his face. “I don’t want this- I swear I- I don’t. But I’d rather die alo- alone than do this.” He took a second to just breathe, gripping Sanford’s wrists before reluctantly pulling away from his touch. “I might not make it another year, San, and you’re either with me in this or you’re not, but I want a fucking answer. Do you love me?”

Sanford tilted his head back and sighed out through his nose, hands falling to his sides.

Hesitating.

“I guess not.”

And with that, Sanford left.

Deimos felt stupid for ever hoping otherwise.

[bimshwel]

defectory

It may seem like a large amount of work to get one dope into a dumpster, but results speak for themselves, and I am weak from yelling at this dope

[killedbymylove]

I miss how caring and gentle you were before you found out that I'm not worth it...

[kollector-of-stims]

No one asked for this but just in case its interesting! A factory-defect Mad Lab Glob Ball compared to a normal one:

Both came from an online fidget shop and I was so shocked at the defective one and wondered if this ever happened to anyone else ever?? No water beads in the defective one, only thick-ish water?

[dk-thrive]

"He understood, with a clarity that had until that moment in his life eluded him, that he was not at all made for the world in which he lived, that art and writing had gotten him only trivially closer to compensating for that fundamental defectiveness, the way standing on a roof gets one only trivially closer to grabbing the moon than standing in the dirt."

— Kaveh Akbar, Martyr!: A Novel (Knopf, January 23, 2024)

[fugitivehugs]

#21 because i can’t count and had more lol

[fugitivehues]

one time i wove a hat out of azalea branches for a high school project

[labrdorite]

had this whole schedule set out for myself but the moment i decided to wake up & shower someone else had to be in there at the exact same moment so that just completely ruined the groove i had, so i just went back to bed. but hi here i am now.

[they-call-me-marlon]

What I want to do vs what I'm supposed to do vs what I'm capable of doing

Broken brain disorder

[phoenixthemenace]

Insight into my messed up mind

I'm super hungry. Like, to the point of having a headache and the shakes. I'm in meeting for work until who knows when. There's donuts in the back, Krispy Kreme no less, but I don't feel like I am allowed to have one because I'm fat.

That's how fucked up my experience with friends, family and school was, and how long (I'm somewhere in my 40's) the lessons last.

[mysticplies]

Maybe you should make the undercooked gem like droopy and the gem alighting crooked 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Ya! This is what an undercooked prasiolite would look like

[bluescreenli]

hc time: Alear’s biological mom probably wasn’t that great, if she even had a hand in raising Alear

[killedbymylove]

It actually already hurts to death seeing any guy that i find nice because i immediately think: "Oh that's another one who wouldn't want me." There's absolutely no boy who ever liked me back. Absolutely no one.

[crescent-bird]

Pink Diamond is an Off Color confirmed 🌺

[niwatari-rei]

Lies

No. 9: "Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days." Polaroid | Mistaken identity | "You're a liar."

"You're a liar." Baku said, watching the scene in front of of it with a grin. Once the tamer was by himself, it joined Daisuke's side. "I know..." He closed his eyes, leaning back against the tree. "You seem like such a selfless human, but you're just as selfish as the rest of them, aren't you?" It asked, tilting its head. "And yet, you don't seem to do what it is you truly want." Daisuke shook his head. "I don't want anything else." "Oh? I can tell you do want other things...Things that you don't want anyone else to know."

[petitegoose]