#zadf oneshot

[knotsoangelic]

How things change

Style; Oneshot

Word count; unknown

Pairing; Zadf/Zadqp/Zadr

Media; Invader Zim

Genre; Fluff/Silly

Fic is under the cut. :) this didn’t take me very long, but yk. not used to posting fanfics on here. so. enjoy lmao

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“You’re still doing this??”

The sudden voice coming from the far end of the Lab made Zim nearly jump out of his skin. He shot his gaze at the doorway of the lab and blinked a couple times under the light red hue of the monitor in front of him. He narrowed his eyes in immediate distrust.

“How did you get in here?” He asked.

Dib didn’t answer at first, instead trailing his gaze to the monitor. He furrowed his brow. “It’s been years, Zim. I know how garbage your security is.”

All the Irken could do was give a haughty scoff, pushing himself out of his seat and aggressively approaching the human. “It’s superior to anything humans could come up with and you know it,” He stopped in front of Dib, a noticeable 3 inches shorter than him. “Now get out. Im not interested in entertaining whatever shenanigans you have for Zim today.”

Dib’s gaze trailed down to the other. For a few seconds he just stared, narrowing his eyes. But then he relented his gaze, sighing in defeat. “My bad for wondering how the space idiot was doing, considering how long he’s been gone. What gives, anyway? It’s weird not seeing you on campus.”

Zim folded his arms behind his back and glared at the human. “You don’t need to know, Dib.”

“Considering I gotta keep you in check, even after five years, yes. I do need to know.” He gestured to the monitor in exasperation. “Don’t you think this is a bit much? They haven’t answered you in years. Let it go, Zim.”

Instead of giving a response, Zim decided on shoving Dib. It wasn’t rough enough to knock him to the ground, but enough to earn a soft ‘oof’ from the human. “Irkens don’t give up, Dib.” He turned from him and paced back over to the monitor. “They’ll answer. I know they will. They have to.”

Zim wasn’t looking at him, but Dibs expression went from incredulous to somewhat sad in an instant. He, too, was looking at the monitor, and after a few beats of silence, sighed again, this time in frustration.

“If they haven’t answered you in the however-many-years you’ve been trying to call them, they’re not answering, Zim.” Dib kept his annoyance in his tone at bay as well as he feasibly could, instead trying a more pleading tone. “Why is this so important to you anyway? What even happened to conquering the planet?”

Something briefly flashed in Zims eyes, before quickly melting into anger. He turned to face the human, snarling. “It’s still my top priority to take over this planet, filthy pest. You don’t deserve to know the inner workings of my plans. Now get out before I skewer you.”

Dib narrowed his eyes, weighing his options of staying just to piss Zim off or leaving a potentially unstable bomb here to fester. His initial choice was the latter, but after careful consideration, he chose the former. He knew Zim like the back of his hand at this point. It’s been five miserable years since the irken got to earth, and Dib would like to think he knows Zim well enough by now. If anyone could deal with him it was Dib.

He was past trying to stop Zim. He knew how his people saw him. He knew no giant armada would come back to earth. He knew, according to Zims “almighty” leaders, that he was no more than trash that was taken out. He watched this alien break down. He watched him struggle. He knew he wouldn’t actually take over Earth, if he could. After all, where would he go afterwards?

Not to mention Dib was taller than him now. Not by a whole lot, but enough. Dib recalled his initial reaction to the human growing as soon as it started. Pure bewilderment, mixed with a touch of jealousy and a whole lot of rage.

So, Dib simply laughed.

It certainly wasn’t what Zim was expecting. His antennae fell back a bit in confusion. As quick as they did though, his annoyance came back twice as fast. “What on Irk are you laughing at?! I will! I’ll puncture your nasty human organs!” He inches closer to Dib while he threatened, but the human wouldn’t stop laughing.

“Enough! Your sniveling disgusts Zim!” The Irken almost pleaded. Whether he intended to or not, Zim’s antennae fell back again, and he shrunk in on himself. It was only then that Dibs laughter started to die down, and he sighed, letting his gaze focus on Zim again.

“I know you don’t have any plans for earth. You’re too busy ringing up your leaders. You can’t lie to me anymore. I’m immune.” Another sigh, though Dibs smile definitely fell. “Eh….Zim?”

It was like Zim was staring off into space, antennae still uncharacteristically pressed flush back, at almost a 90 degree angle. After a solid minute of zoning out, the Irken suddenly sighed, plopping to the floor and hugging his knees to his chest. For just a second he wanted to pretend Dib wasn’t there, he wanted to sulk in isolation. Unfortunately, Dib didn’t get the hint.

“Uh. I’m sorry.” He said awkwardly. Dib shifted from one foot to the other. “Yknow, uh. I wasn’t even laughing at your threat. I kinda got carried away by memory lane outta nowhere.” He knelt close to Zims level when the other didn’t so much as acknowledge him. “Uhhhh…Zim?”

Faint grumbling muffled through limbs. Dib blinked. “Didn’t catch that.”

A very clear groan. “Don’t you know what ‘go away’ means? Go. Away.” Zim finally spoke clearer, looking up only to say this before burying his face in his knees again.

Dib blinked again, though this time out of pure confusion. He had seen Zims breakdowns, he had seen his grandiosity, he had seen his hurt and rage. All of it. But this was new. And in regards to Zim, Dib didn’t like new.

He noted how the Irkens antennae where flush against his head, like if dog ears where pinned back in fear or submissiveness. In that moment of comparing Zim to a dog, he had to fight back the very human urge to pet.

“I’m not going away, I’ve already said that. Last time I let you sulk in solitude, you were gone for weeks at a time.” Dib internally questioned why he had the urge to check on his enemy in the first place back then, but he didn’t give himself an answer. “I can compromise by not talking though. Startingggg, now.” He scooted closer to Zim until he was sitting next to him, leaning back and sighing. He let his weight rest on the palms of his hands as he stared at the ceiling. He thought he heard a light chitter from the other, but he ignored it. If Zims antennae could get any flatter against his skull, they would.

With the lab now silent and fairly dark, all that was left was the very slight buzzing of the monitor. Zim found without the idiots voice to keep his thoughts from spilling around in his head, he was left with the noise. The awful noise. The metaphorical but equally real noise.

He hated the noise.

Zim sighed again, quieter this time, before swiftly standing and pacing back over to the monitor. He ignored the other as he stared curiously, mulling over whether to try the call again or shut the screen off. After a few moments of working his jaw, he opted for the latter, seating himself in the chair and instead burying his head in his arms at the control panel.

Dib stared. This was going nowhere, wasn’t it? Years and years of trying to convince this dumbass of the obvious, and still. Or did he know, and just refuse to admit it to himself? Dib couldn’t decide which option was more likely. He shifted to face him, biting his tongue. “Silence sucks. I’m done shutting up.”

Zim barely peeled his head up from his arms to glare at the human. “You’re an idiot. I don’t want any more idiot ramblings.”

“Takes one to know one,” Dib shot back half heartedly. “Least you shut the screen off. I really thought you were gonna try again.”

Zim scowled to himself as he turned to bury his head in his arms again. He didn’t even give a proper retort back, just groaned and let his antennae fall slack.

“Cant you see it’s a good thing? Well, not them being horrible leaders or whatever. But think of what you could do. It sucks that they don’t care but they don’t care about ANYTHING that you do. Which means you can do absolutely anything you want.” Dib pauses for a second, “Well, except take over the planet. Obviously. But everything else is free game! Isn’t that a good thing?”

Zim shuffled in his seat slightly, finally looking up from his arms and giving Dib an unreadable expression. Was that confusion? Hurt? Apathy? Dib honestly couldn’t tell. But he left his arms open in offering of his propositions anyway.

“And I mean….I know it isn’t much, but you still have me, right?”

Zims first instinct was to grimace in disgust. He looked away, contemplating, not answering Dib immediately. But then he looked at him again and watched as a cheesy, toothy grin plastered the young adults face. That unreadable expression was back on Zims face. “Yeah. I do.”

The words came out solemnly, making Dib relax his outstretched arms. His smile also faded, but it returned a few seconds later, and he stood, confidently pacing to where Zim was sitting and kneeling ever so slightly to meet his eye level.

“I don’t know about you but I think it’s cool when there’s at least ONE person who knows what it’s all like. Or, at the very least, can understand it.” Dib leaned on the control panel. “I know you can’t deny that. I know cause you seek that kind of validation from me all the time.”

Zims head shot up and he glared, almost resembling a pout. But his antennae still lay flat against his head. “You wish someone as amazing as me did such a thing.”

Dibs smile didnt falter once. “Uh-huh.”

For some reason, the way Dib uttered that confirmation made Zim’s antennae twitch. He looked away, feigning confidence as he fidgeted with his uniform. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Human.”

Rolling his eyes, Dib allowed himself to lean off the control panel and closer to the Irken. “But you do though,” He quipped. “Remember when you begged me to give you a compliment in exchange for that soda? A compliment. Not even, like, one of my organs or something.”

Zims face was turning a different color, and he was afraid it was starting to become noticeable. “Stop it.”

“Or that time you were confused as to why I wasn’t COMPLETELY ENTHRALLED about being in a simulation where we live together.”

“Shut up.”

“Or that time you built some planet-ending machine and got mad when I wasn’t jumping for joy at the idea of you showing it off-“

“Shut UP, Dib!” Zim suddenly shot up, angry. His face was painted bright pink. His antennae still lay flat against his head. “Those where all things DUE to me or threats! Nothing else!”

“Then why are the threats empty? Or why are the requests for praise so desperate?” Dib smirked, not once faltering. Their faces were oddly close together. “I mean surely you would’ve been happy to follow through with all of those threats if they were actually threats.”

Zim couldn’t break Dibs gaze and it was eating him alive. He gulped, seeking from within himself any kind of plausible answer, but found nothing, instead finding himself staring dumbly at the equally dumb human in front of him. He felt as his antennae started to vibrate, and he shrunk in on himself again, only breaking Dibs gaze when he was seated once more. Dib gave an airy laugh.

“Yeah. I thought so. But hey, the feelings reciprocated, so I don’t care really.” He found himself staring at the Irkens antennae again, noting how far back they were positioned still. “I mean I gave you what you wanted and you gave me what I wanted…sort of. So evens even, right?” Dib knelt further and Zims eyes shot to his again. “Yknow. We don’t really have to be enemies anymore. Especially if there’s no plan for me to stop anyway.”

Zim narrowed his eyes. “Why would I ally with a disgusting human?”

“Fair point. Counter argument; who else do you have to ally with, space boy?”

Zim opened his mouth to retort, but came up empty, settling for clenching his fists and snarling. “I hate you.”

“Mmhm.” Dib dully acknowledged, “Is that why your antennae are positioned where they are? Or is that another coincidence?”

Said antennae twitched. Zim just looked away.

“I mean, I’ve never seen you so passive before. Body-language wise, anyway.” Dib shrugged. “Usually when an animals ears are back like that it means fear or submissiveness.”

This got the Irkens antennae to shoot right back up again. He glared daggers at Dib. “Like I would ever be subservient to you!”

“I said submissive, not subservient. Dumbass.”

Back down they go. Zim growled. “Do you enjoy being a nuisance to every living creature that breathes?”

“I kinda do actually,” Dib said with a smirk. He was getting under Zims skin. It was his favorite pastime. “Gives me reason to keep living. I’ve grown to liking living out of spite of others actually.” Dib stretched, cracking his knuckles as his arms hyperextended. “It’s even more fun when the person in question fucking LOATHES you.”

Zim glared at first, but then his expression softened into that unreadable expression again. This caught Dib off guard and his smirk fell, drawing attention to the Irken. Zim was looking at his gloved hand, mindlessly flexing his thumb claw in indecipherable thought. Dibs eyes trailed back to his antennae; flat, but tense. He couldn’t resist the urges anymore. With a mild amount of hesitance, Dib reached his hand up, letting it rest in an oddly gentle way on the top of Zims head. The other tensed at the touch, but didn’t move. “I mean, bickering is bickering. Spite is spite. At the end of the day it’s just….fun. Nothing else.”

Dib was surprised that his hand wasn’t immediately smacked away, but he was equally surprised at the noises the Irken emitted when he gave him gentle pats. He watched as the others antennae started to relax, cocking an eyebrow at the otherworldly trills and chitters Zim produced. Dib stifled a laugh at the sight, especially when he felt the alien pressing his head further into his hand, like a cat.

Dib shifted his gaze to look Zim in the eyes, about to make a snarky remark, but held his tongue when he saw the Irkens eyes were closed. At the sound of movement, Zim cracked a magneta-colored eye open to look back at Dib.

“Usually when someone goes for the head, it’s to kill.” Zim said neutrally. “Taller irkens aren’t especially known for giving out head pats to their shorter kin.”

This time, Dib allowed himself to airily laugh. “Thanks, captain obvious.” A sharp pain went up his hand. “Ow, what the fuck, Zim?! That hurt!” The human withdrew his bitten hand in an instant, scowling.

It was Zims turn to crack a smile, and it seemed oddly genuine. “That’s what would happen if they tried.”

Dib furrowed his brow. “Thanks for the info, I guess.” He let venom lace his last few words in that sentence, raising his hand experimentally to pet him again, only stopping when Zim ducked from his hand.

“If we’re doing this whole….’alliance’ thing, it’s on my terms and my terms alone. You have no power here, nasty human.” He narrowed his eyes at Dib. “You go too far, you get bitten. Or smacked. Whichever one I feel like doing that day.” Dibs hand fell back to his side.

“Man, you really are just like a cat.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I guess I agree to your stupid terms.”

“Good.” Zim smiled deviously. He stood up quickly, knocking Dib back onto his rear. Zim stood above him, still grinning maniacally. “For starters, get out of my lab. You’re making it smell bad in here.”

[paynomindtotheinsanity]

Confession time!!! I’ve said it before (that i really like your fanfiction) but i just recently wrote a zadf/zadr/zadqp oneshot and found….a lot of accidental similarities to the way you write them lol. So i guess what I’m saying is that you inspired me :) i haven’t written in like. 1-5 years so writing characters i’ve never written before was….hard lmao. But anyway yeah!! Your recent drawings from chapter 21 made me scream at work dude!!!! /pos

Thank you!! <3 I'm so happy my gay chaos has inspired you!

[daffodilesblog]

Im going fucking nuts. I have SO MANY ideas for the fliping oneshot (with zadf/r ofc) but i don't know how to cook them 2gether into somethin' that makes sense and im fucking screaming and crying cuz it sucks so bad, i want to cook everything into somethin' that makes good sense for the oneshot but i can't and im sad because of this.

FUCK

[thatonegeekygirl]

He Fought the Law (And the Law Lost): IZ Fanfic

this oneshot takes place in my strange but true au, so its zadf with good but still chaotic zim and teen dib! i started out writing this as crack, and it kind of stayed crackish, but also segued into fluff and a bit of angst. i possess 2.7% understanding of the american justice system so sorry if thats all nonsense, i am so, so welcome to suggestions. crossposted on wattpad. idk what else to say here?? have fun reading ya'll!

Dib woke up to a cheery Saturday morning, nowhere to be, and the smell of bacon drifting up from the kitchen downstairs. He stretched and yawned, his too-big UFO pattern blue pajamas hanging from his reaching arms. Gaz repeatedly claimed that too-big UFO pattern blue pajamas were an embarrassingly childish thing for a 17-year-old to own. Dib repeatedly ignored her. He’d gone his whole life tuning out the people telling him he was a weirdo, and he wasn’t about to stop now. He grabbed his glasses from the side table, kicked his feet loosely over the side of the bed, and stood. 

“Dib! Breakfast!” His sister's insistent voice yelled from downstairs.

“Coming!” Dib called back, picking his third pillow off the ground where it had fallen in the middle of the night, and throwing it back on the bed. He grinned as it landed perfectly in position between the two larger pillows. Well, if the whole paranormal thing doesn’t work out, at least I have competitive bed making as a fallback plan. He snickered to himself and padded to the door. He turned the knob and walked through the threshold, sniffing scents of bacon and egg hanging in the air, and–

I am an alien I am an alien I am an alien I am an alien–

The ringtone was a single lyric from the song Alien–surprise, surprise– repeated over and over again, and Zim despised it. Whenever he was reminded of its existence in Dib’s Short Angry Space Man phone contact he flew into a paranoid rage, ranting about how the humans may ‘grow suspicious’ or ‘connect the dots’ and snatch him up for experimentation. Dib replied to this with ‘they won’t connect shit’, and Zim neither appreciated the sentiment nor understood the reference. Dib crouched and fumbled about in his jeans’ pocket for a long moment before lifting the jeans off the floor and shaking them until the stubborn phone fell out of them. He picked it up and accepted the call, quirking a smile at the profile picture displayed on the screen–a blurred Zim with an enraged expression which Dib had taken after calling the Irken ‘shorter than the dwarfs’ in the Lord of the Rings movie they’d been watching.

“Hey, Zi–” “DIB!” 

Dib winced and pulled the phone away from his ear. “C’mon, man!”

“The angry blue humans have taken me hostage!”

Having gotten good at reading between the lines with Zim, Dib replied, “You’ve been arrested?”

“If that's what you Earthlings call shoved in a flashing vehicle, handcuffed to an infuriatingly dull adult human, dragged into a crumbling concrete building, and forced to stand in front of a striped wall while being assaulted by blinding lights before being tossed into a crowded, disgusting, primitive holding cell, yes,” Zim spat. Dib rolled his eyes at the sneer in the alien’s voice and said, “Settle down. What’d you do to get in trouble with the police? Wait, don’t answer that, I don’t even want to know.”

“Cease your worrying, human, there were no casualties! Not today, anyhow,” Zim said. “GIR and I were out purchasing the new flavor of Suck-Monkey–the reason for his love of those things is beyond me–and as we were exiting the establishment these two security drones appeared, took GIR away, and Irken-handled me into their whining car!” 

“That's weird…I’m pretty sure it's illegal to arrest minors like that…you were wearing your disguise, weren’t you?” Dib asked, suddenly worried. 

“Of course I was wearing my disguise, Dib,” Zim answered snidely. “What do you think I am? A human?”

“Nothing like some extraterrestrial racism to start off the day…” Dib muttered to himself. “Okay, Zim, I’m coming down to the station. I’ll be there in about 20 minutes. Do you know where they took GIR?”

“Do I look like a floogaschmog to you!? No I don't know where GIR is! If it weren’t for these confounded witnesses everywhere I’d–SHUT UP!”

“Jeez, Zim, I didn’t even say anything–”

“You and the other pitiful policing man informed me I had one phone call, you never specified the length of time it had to encompass!” Zim’s voice screeched, slightly muffled, as if he had pulled the receiver away from his mouth. “Well ya shoulda thought of that before you gave me the phone, moron!” A pause. “I don’t care if you're going to ‘be in deep shit’ with your superior! DON’T TOUCH THE PHONE OR ZIM WILL BITE YOUR POINTING DIGIT OFF!” 

Another pause, and then an annoyed huff blew from the line. “Insolent human. Anyway, GIR is in no danger, no matter where they took him. He’s nearly indestructible and equipped with top of the line Irken laser cannons and numerous knock-out drugs. Whether or not he possesses the presence of mind to employ them, however, is an entirely different problem...” 

“Alright,” Dib sighed. “I just have to get dressed and I’ll head over. You really have no idea what you’ve been taken in for?”

“Not a flu.”

“The phrase is ‘not a clue’, idiot.”

“ZIM IS NEVER WRONG! Goodbye, Dib.”

The line went dead. 

Dib pinched himself once to make sure he wasn’t just experiencing a particularly vivid nightmare, groaned when nothing happened, and shuffled to his closet to pull on some clothes.

__________________________________________

“Dib! If you don’t get your ass down here I’m eating your bacon!” Gaz yelled.

Dib half dashed, half jumped down the stairs, tugging on a red plaid sock. “You can have some of it,” he said, slipping into the kitchen. “I don’t have a lot of time to eat. Zim’s gotten himself arrested.”

“Took them long enough.” Gaz smirked, grabbing a piece of Dibs bacon out of the pan on the table. “What was he doing up so early on a Saturday morning?”

“It's 10:30,” Dib mumbled around his toast. 

“And a Saturday.”

“...I concede to your point. GIR wanted the new Suck-Monkey flavor, y’know, pineapple rosemary or something along those revolting lines. He probably saw it in an ad during his early morning cartoons. You know how he can get with that sort of thing…”

Dib and Gaz shared a knowing look.

“That was a dark day.” Gaz nodded solemnly. 

“Well, Zim did something at the wrong time and place and now he’s locked in a holding cell. Hopefully this is all just some big misunderstanding, like they thought Zim was a lost kid, or he’s reading the situation wrong,” Dib rambled, “but whatever it is, I don’t have much faith in Zim’s ability to get himself out of it in a way that doesn’t involve bribery or murder, so instead of watching the latest Mysterious Mysteries, I’m dealing with a deranged alien and a couple of irritated government employees.”

“How do you know they’re irritated?” Gaz asked.

“I’d assume that if someone called you a moron and threatened to amputate your finger, you’d be irritated too,” Dib huffed, grabbing his blue zip-up hoodie off a chair and his car key from the key rack. “Dad! I’m going out!”

“Don’t drink and drive, son!” Membrane called from the depths of his downstairs lab.

“It’s a sunny Saturday morning and the only friend I have to peer pressure me into drinking alcohol is an insane 170 year old alien,” Dib grumbled under his breath. “But thanks for the advice, Dad.” He swallowed the last of his toast and grabbed a second piece of bacon. “See ya later, Gazlene.”

“Good luck!” she yelled after him as he tromped out the door. “And don’t call me that!”

Dib shoved the second piece of bacon in his mouth. Technically, the handsome blue truck parked in their driveway did not belong to him. Technically, it belonged to his dad, but his dad never drove it–he preferred to take the massive white van containing a full-blown lab in the back and bearing the Membrane Labs logo on the side–so Dib had largely free-reign over it. Exempting the times Gaz demanded he loan it to her to practice her driving. It was a small truck, nothing like the behemoths that Dib occasionally saw dragging trailers or boats through town, and a well-loved one. Candy wrappers and empty cans were scattered about the backseat, numerous paranormal stickers dotted the outside, and various and assorted stains of unknown origin–cough cough GIR cough cough–coloured the interior. The cover for the hazard button had fallen off, claw marks left by an anxious Zim lined the bottom of the passenger seat, and the center console was filled with wads of cash and odds and bobs picked up from his past adventures. In the covered trunk Dib stored a plethora of investigating equipment, everything from wildlife cameras to satellite dishes, just in case he caught a big break and didn’t have time to grab his main gear from the house.

Dib pressed the unlock button on the key and the truck honked and flashed once. He yanked open the driver door, slid into the seat, and started the engine in one smooth motion. He then proceeded to spend a solid 20 seconds fumbling about with the seatbelt. Once he’d finally got it clicked in properly, he backed out of the driveway with all the care of someone who’d accidentally knocked over multiple lawn ornaments and mailboxes. Really, once he was on an actual road, he was a great driver. Honestly. 

Fortunately, it seemed to be one of those Saturdays when no one wanted to leave the house and the roads were mostly empty. A few stray bicyclists wound their lazy way down the main street, and Dib had an awkward confrontation with a silver Soobaroo at a four-way stop, but either than that the trip was uneventful, if a little rushed. Four minutes over the allotted time he’d given Zim, Dib pulled into the parking lot of the police department. Patting himself down just to make sure he hadn’t accidentally put a bomb in his pocket when he wasn’t paying attention, he took a breath and exited the car. He nervously swallowed once, before opening the glass door and heading into the bowels of government agency. He’d spent plenty of time trying to get into the station to expose Zim, but that seemed an easy task compared to that of getting the alien out without doing so.

The inside of the building was friendly enough. The wall to his left was lined with pamphlets advertising various help centers and safe drinking habits, and the glass window was covered in flyers for local businesses and performances. Past another set of glass doors lay a receptionist’s desk. After a moment's consideration, he pushed past them and walked up to it.

“Hi,” he said.

“Good morning, sir, what can I help you with?” The receptionist, a young man with blond hair, asked.

“I’m here to see my friend? He was arrested earlier this morning? His name is Zim,” Dib explained uncertainly.

“Ah, you must be Dib,” the man said, “come with me.”

He stood and motioned for Dib to follow him. He led him down a long corridor, down a set of stairs, and up to a locked door. He unlocked it with one of the keys hanging from his belt and gestured for Dib to enter.

Inside was a desk, two police officers, a man in a suit, three chairs, and a very angry Zim. He was sitting in one of the uncomfortable looking chairs and was also handcuffed, a thing he didn’t seem at all happy about. As he said he had been, Zim wore his disguise. However, he was not just wearing his wig, contacts, and pink uniform, but also a pair of those cheap, slapstick glasses with bushy black eyebrows, a tiny square mustache, and an obnoxious large plastic nose.

Dib, tired and utterly confused, had just enough brain power to deduce that the glasses may have had something to do with Zim’s current arrested state.

“Sit down,” the man in the suit said.

Dib complied, wincing as the hard plastic of the third chair dug into his spine.

“My name is Constable Buckley. You may call me Constable,” the man in the suit said. “You and Mister Zim are friends, correct?”

“Yes…” Dib replied, still staring at Zim.

“Then perhaps you can shed some light on why, exactly, he was recently charged with kidnapping?”

This startled Dib out of his stupor. “He’s been what!?”

“I take it you were not aware of this until now.” Constable eyed him.

“No!” Dib shrieked. He whipped his head back around to boggle at Zim. “We really need to get your information sharing priorities straight!”

“How was I supposed to know!?” Zim hissed back.

“Quiet, please!” Constable boomed. “Listen up. Unless it is quickly proved that Mister Zim is not guilty of these allegations, he will go to court.”

That was not good. Zim in court was the last thing they needed. He’d probably piss off the judge and jury so much with all his insults and overbearing attitude it wouldn’t matter if he was guilty or not. Best case scenario, he went to prison for a long time. Worst case scenario, he outed himself as an alien and Dib never saw him again.

“Okay. Okay…deep breath, Dib,” he muttered to himself. “Why exactly is he being charged with kidnapping?”

“Mister Zim was seen leaving the gas station on 4rd Street with a young child wearing a green dog onesie, looking aggressive and generally shady,” Constable explained. “Officers Carp and Chinook intercepted him and asked the child if the man he was with was his parent or guardian. The child, we now know his name to be Gyr, replied, quote, ‘Naw!’. Carp and Chinook, just to be certain–kidnapping is a serious charge, you know–asked Mister Zim if he was Gyr’s parent or guardian. Mister Zim replied, quote, ‘Ugh, of course not! Leave Zim be!’. This prompted my officers to arrest him and take Gyr into their custody.”

“You two have GIR!?” Zim cried, twisting around to glare daggers at the officers standing behind him. “Why, you–”

“MISTER ZIM!” Constable roared. “If you do not behave I will be forced to return you to your cell!”

Zim settled back in his seat and attempted to cross his arms haughtily, a task made difficult by the handcuffs. Eventually he gave up and settled for clenching his hands in fists by his sides.

“Thank you,” Constable said. “Now, is there anything you can think of, Dib, that may prove Mister Zim’s innocence?”

“Oh, just one thing…” Dib reached out and ripped the glasses off of Zim.

A collective gasp filled the room. Surprised and horrified ones from the police, and a pained and furious one from Zim as the tape holding the glasses on his face was mercilessly torn off. 

“Good God…” Constable muttered, mouth hanging open.

“Zim is not a forty year old man!” Dib cried. “He’s a kid with a horrible skin condition and a mean streak! I mean really, he's like four feet tall.”

“But…Gyr?” One of the officers asked timidly.

“My brother!” Zim shrieked as Dib eyed him meaningfully. “GIR is my little brother. He wears the green dog suit in, eh, a gesture of solidarity to my own green affliction. Being a foolish little worm baby I did not realize I should respond to your inquiry with ‘he is my brother’!”

“Do you have any way to prove these statements?” Constable asked, eyes wide.

“Er…” Dib picked at a nail worriedly.

“Yes!” Zim jabbed a finger in the air and growled when the handcuffs inadvertently pulled his other hand up with it. A whirring noise emanated from his PAK for a moment, followed by a cheerful ding. Zim handed Constable a short stack of neat papers. For once Dib was beyond relieved that no one else noticed the robotic appendage folding back into Zim’s PAK. “Here’s your proof, officer man.” Zim grinned smugly. “Mine and GIR’s passports and certificates of bornth!”

Dib was struck with the nearly uncontrollable urge to hit him. Fortunately, the police didn’t seem to notice the slip up.

“Everything seems to be in order…” Constable murmured, with the air of someone utterly bewildered, flipping through the forms.

“Thank you,” Zim said, pleased.

“...well, I suppose you’re free to go,” the man continued. “I’ll have Kyle bring Gyr around front to meet you. Apologies for the bother, Membranes.”

Dib’s brain took a long moment to turn over this piece of information as Constable unlocked the handcuffs from a smirking Zim’s hands and opened the door for them.

“Onward, Dib-thing!” Zim grabbed Dib’s arm and grinned. “I believe there is still enough Saturday left to make some floppy sugar disks!” Dib found himself being tugged out of the stuffy room, back down the blank hallway, and out the glass doors into the sunlight.

“Zim…” Dib started uncertainly.

“GIR!” Zim cried, upon seeing the robot. GIR, decked out in his green dog disguise, was being led out of the station towards them by two ruffled officers, both covered in crayon and some mystery liquid, looking like they’d just seen war.

“Mister!” GIR shrieked back, rushing forward and into Zim’s waiting arms. Dib had managed to convince GIR to call Zim Mister instead of Master, after having had a long and tedious discussion with Zim about the various reasons why this was a messed up thing to have happening.

“GIR, did they do anything to you?” Zim asked, looking the robot up and down with scrutiny.

“Nope!” GIR replied cheerfully. “We played with the colors and they gave me a new Suck-Monkey and then I threw it up on em!”

“That’s my GIR!” Zim grinned. “Now let’s go, Dib has come to take us home. We’re going to make floppy sugar disks!”

“They’re called pancakes,” Dib corrected slowly, train of thought finally arriving at the station. “And Zim, what last name, exactly, did you put on those documents?”

“Membrane,” Zim answered blithely. “That is your last name, yes?”

“Yes…” Dib nodded. “But why did you use it?” “You’re always telling me not to use The Human for my middle and final names, so I used yours instead,” Zim explained, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You do realize that makes us legally brothers, right?” Dib asked weakly, unlocking the car with an absentminded movement.

“Of course I realize that, Dib-thing.” Zim waved a hand in the air. “According to my studies in Urth customs, people living together and/or spending long periods of time in each other's company often become honorary members of their respective family units. Since we fill both of these fields to different extents, I deemed it reasonable to claim the Membrane name for ease of forging documents and simplicity when explaining our relationship.”

“...true,” Dib admitted. Zim tossed GIR into the backseat of the car and clambered in after him, feet not even close to touching the floor as he settled in the passenger seat.

“Won’t people be suspicious that my Dad suddenly has two more children than before?” Dib questioned, still not quite comprehending the implications of this recent turn of events.

“I doubt the masses will take any notice to GIR and I. As of now I don’t plan on making any public announcement or anything so they likely won’t even know we’re carriers of the Membrane name at all. And if they do grow suspicious, I’ll just show them the adoption papers and no one will be the wiser,” Zim explained smugly. “Do you think your father will mind?”

“No,” Dib replied, turning on the truck. “GIR, buckle up.” GIR wrestled with the seatbelt for a moment until Zim huffed loudly and scrambled into the back to help him. “He seems to have taken a liking to you,” Dib continued, as Zim forced the clip into the lock. “And he knows you’re an Irken, so we can just tell him it’ll help keep your cover from being blown and he’ll be all for it.”

“Good,” Zim said, leaping back into his seat and putting on his own seatbelt. “I’d hate to damage my relationship with the Professor in a battle for his name.”

“...adoption papers?” Dib muttered as an afterthought.

“Forging signatures is one of my specialties,” Zim gloated. 

Dib stared out the windshield. The car was running and the road was clear, but he remained in the same spot. Zim raised an eyebrow, or rather the space where an eyebrow would have been, and gave Dib an incredulous look. 

“Zim…” Dib said after an uncomfortably long pause. “You and GIR are my brothers now.”

“An accurate statement,” Zim nodded.

“You’re sure about this?” Dib prompted, turning to look at Zim.

“Sure I’m sure,” Zim answered proudly, then hesitated, a worried expression crossing his face. “...have I misstepped in some way? I can always null the documents…”

“No, no! It’s fine!” Dib laughed, breaking out in a grin. “I'm happy to have you two as adopted brothers.”

Zim grinned back. “Surprisingly, I’m happy to have you and Gaz as adopted siblings.”

“Surprisingly?” Now Dib raised an eyebrow.

“Irkens are not typically able to form emotional bonds,” Zim explained, “the ability to experience things like love and fondness are programmed out of our PAKs as smeets. It seems likely that my PAK’s…defective, nature,” he squirmed at the word, “has allowed me more freedom in this and other regards. You have that to thank for our friendship.”

“Well, I know what is seen as ‘defective’ on Irk is normal on Earth,” Dib said softly. “So I’m glad we got the Irken different from the rest. And I’m glad I can call myself your friend.”

“You humans and your glarking emotions,” Zim muttered, running a hand under his eye and wiping the suspiciously wet smear on his uniform. “Drive, Dib! We must get home in time to make the disks!”

“Alright, alright!” Dib laughed. “I’m going!” He pulled out of the parking lot and turned onto the street. It was just as quiet on the roads as before, so Dib relaxed his vigil a bit and admired the beautiful day outside.

“Oh, and Zim,” he said. “It's birth, not bornth.”

“Wrong!” Zim declared. “It's definitely bornth.”

“Dude, if you’re going to be a Membrane we’re going to have to work on your grammar. You can’t just be a tech genius, you’ve got to fit the whole part!” Dib gestured grandly with one hand, keeping the other on the wheel and ignoring his Dad’s voice telling him to always keep both securely holding it.

“It is not my fault your cursed Urthen language holds up against next to zero laws of logic,” Zim complained. “Irken is twice as complex but a schmillion times more sensical!”

“If it’s easier to understand than English, maybe you can teach me,” Dib suggested. “Y’know, as compensation for stealing my name.”

“Nuh uh, you said you were pleased that I have your name, Dib!” Zim pointed out gleefully. “My company is all the compensation you need.”

“Compensation, my ass!” Dib squawked, amused.

“Although,” Zim continued, ignoring Dib’s outburst. “Perhaps I will teach you anyway. It has been some time since I’ve conversed with someone in my own tongue. GIR does not count. And, if all else fails, it shall be entertaining to observe your attempts at pronunciation.”

“Glad I have your confidence, Zim.”

A comfortable quiet filled the car.

“Why the heck were you wearing those crazy glasses?” Dib asked, the thought striking him. “That was weird, even for you.”

Zim’s silence prompted Dib to glance at him. Zim was twiddling his thumbs and avoiding Dib’s eyes. “No reason,” the Invader said.

“Sure, sure. No reason at all. You were wearing ugly, wackadoo prop glasses with a gross fake nose and eyebrows for no reason,” Dib said casually, pursing his lips and nodding. 

There was a long silence.

“...I lost a bet with Minimoose,” Zim grumbled, slouching in his seat.

Dib suppressed a cackle. “Mmm. No shame in that,” he said seriously.

Zim glared darkly at him. “Silence your voice box. You are obviously holding in a pitiless laugh.”

A giggle escaped from his Dib’s sealed lips. “Okay, yes, but you have to admit it's pretty funny. Your purple stuffed-moose-robot somehow got you into a bet that ended with you walking around–in public–with the most embarrassing bad disguise mankind has ever known! You can at least admire his creativity.”

“Minimoose is a master manipulator! If only he weren’t so lovable I’d have scrapped him long ago!” Zim shook a tiny fist. “Damn that moose…”

Dib chuckled and turned his face back to the open road. Spring flowers dotted the sidewalk and sunlight tickled the colors into warmth, a breeze rustled the trees leaves. Zim reached forward and turned on the stereo, and Dib’s driving playlist bounced through the speakers with a laidback grace. With any luck, they’d be able to make pancakes with any great incident, and they could go to the library for a bit. There was a new paranormal guidebook Dib wanted to check out. 

Actually, it was early enough in the day still they might even make it out to the haunted house the guidebook had talked about, if he could scrounge up the ghost monitoring equipment from his storage area in the basement and get it set up in time. Zim would be thrilled. Any chance to explore the many oddities excited him almost as much as it excited Dib, something he was surprised and pleased to learn when they’d finally enacted a truce. The little alien was quite the curious thing. 

“Hey Zim?” Dib said.

“Yes, Dib-thing?” Zim looked up at him.

“It really is clue.”

“It’s not!”

[virago-777]

Happy Birthing Day

(Dibs POV)

It's your 20th birthday and Zim insists that you get in his Voot Cruiser because he has a surprise for you. You're reluctant at first but curiosity gets the best of you, so you join him. Climbing your way in was a lot harder than you thought it would be but once you're in Zim hardly waits for you to get settled before blindfolding you and taking off, breaking into the stratosphere at fast speeds. After a brief moment the Voot begins to settle and you feel that it is now hovering calmly. Zim is the first to break the silence as he steps away from the pilot console, leaving you there as he makes his way to the back of the Voot Cruiser. "If you wait any longer to take the blind fold off Dib-human, you'll miss the surprise. Do not waste Zim's efforts or I'll shoot your huge head out of the airlock." You snatch off the offending fabric that was obstructing your vision to shoot him a glare, focusing on the reflection of Zim against the Voots windshield; he had a softened expression on his face and a small smile which was very uncharacteristic for Zim. For a moment it looked as if magenta eyes had met yours and were staring back at you through the reflection. The idea makes your heart skip a beat and you feel your cheeks heat up; clutching at your chest to still your fast beating heart. You bring your attention to the beautiful sight painting itself outside of the Voot Cruiser but can't help but be distracted when you hear Zim mutter. "This filthy planets pollution is so thick, Zim had to fly through its weak inferior stratosphere just to bring you here." Huffing out a breath before speaking in a triumphant tone with a smirk on his lips. "It took weeks of scouting to find the best location but that is to be expected as Zim is superior and will only ever provide the best for yo-" He abruptly shuts his mouth to cease the complaints and confessions from spilling out further, fidgeting in a flustered manner with a few blueprints he has on a mini workstation next to him but that doesn't last long. You chew at the bottom of your lip and choose to take a chance while he's not looking; managing to sneak another glance at his reflection. This time his arms are crossed, antennae are perked up and twitching. But before you can cast your attention back to the scene outside of the Voot, the hot intensity of magenta eyes catches your warm amber pools. There is a spark in Zims eyes; something you've never seen before. His gaze felt feral and passionate, almost like it could be look of desire but mixed with something else. The intertwined gazes between you both lasts only for a moment despite it feeling like forever. Zim is the first to look away shyly as he taps his foot against the Voots hard metal floor with vigor and murmurs something in Irken. This sends butterflies fluttering around in the pit of your stomach and makes your pulse race, you've always secretly adored the attention he gave you and how his eyes were always watching you and only you. Zim must have noticed your elevated heart rate because his antennae were now dancing in your direction, but he catches himself and flattens them down with his clawed hands before straightening his posture and clearing his throat; boldly announcing in a very Zim way "Happy Birthing Day, Dib-worm."

(Dibs gift)

The author of this work is @virago-777

[spooksdraws]

the urge to make a fnaf and iz crossover that is literally just putting Dib in increasingly life threatening situations and making Zim go with him to make sure he doesnt get mauled to death or smth

[lunar-lair]

Ok ok so I'm listening to a song abt a bike and like. Ok

One Consideration for you: Dib (and possibly the other Membranes) helping Zim learn to ride a bike,

And of course he's like 'no way!! It's primitive and stupid' but really he's intrigued by the mechanics. They don't have many self-powered things on Irk, do they? Not to mention all the gears and shit

So after Dib pesters him like 'c'mon we can go on bike rides together and you need a faster sleeker mode of transportation on Earth anyways!!!!' for a few weeks he finally gives on

So Dib and Gaz get together that weekend, throw him on Gaz's bike cause he's more her size than Dib's, and try their damndest to teach the dumbass to ride a bike

His center of balance is probably a bit odd due to the pak? But eventually (after falling about 10 times and being coaxed back into it by Dib about 3 times) he's off on his own

Honestly? He's a little thrilled. But like hell that's gonna show

Him and Dib go on a slow lil bike through the nearby woods, and at somepoint, probably by doing something dumb, Dib makes Zim laugh so hard he tumbles down a small hill

When he goes down to check on him, though, he's still just laughing and the sunset is shining on his face, and Dib lays down next to him and they lay there til the sun sets and they whisper along with the moon's soft glow and. Yea

(They get scolded by Membrane when they get back but v worth it)

[cart00nmilk]

Honestly I am having so many ideas recently and that’s overwhelming help.

 SOME OF THEM I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT YET

[knotsoangelic]

Writing fanfiction again after about 1-5 years of not writing a damn thing is very strange but i did a zadf/zadqp oneshot and it came out good i’d say, expect it later

[zenaiaaubreydanicarene]

Still Here

"I'm so sick of being alone! Every time... Every fucking time I try to prove myself..."

He cries, hanging his head and slams his fists into the ground.

"You're not alone, Dib-stink."

"Zim? Oh my god... But... No! You're dead!"

"Foolish boy, you can't get rid of the almighty Zim that easily!"

"No... No... No! NO! NO! YOU'RE DEAD! I FUCKING KILLED YOU MYSELF!"

Growling, he squeezes his eyes shut, clutching the sides of his head to help will away yet another hallucination.

"Look for yourself, stink-beast! I am here! I never left!"

After several long moments, he looks up, whole body shaking.

"But how..? Why? Where have you been?!"

"Didn't you hear me? I've been here, with you, the whole time!"

"Then why couldn't I see you?! Or Hear you?! Nothing! For so long..."

Eyes stinging with tears, he reaches a trembling hand out to the alien before him.

"You were blocking me out! I tried! I saw everything you did, but you wouldn't let me through!"

"Blocked you? Wouldn't let you through? What the hell do you mean?"

His hand passes right through the one he was trying to touch.

"Are you that stupid, Dib-thing? You haven't figured it out by NOW? You may have modified my PAK, but you failed to successfully erase my personality. I'm not physically here..."

Looking up, he sees why.

"A hologram... So I really did... Kill you... Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Zim! I - I fucked up..! I never... I never realized... I need you, Zim! Please, PLEASE don't leave me here... Alone..."

He starts to sob as the tears pour down his face like twin rivers.

"I will not leave you. We are one now, Dib. Zim can never leave you."

............................

Don't know why, but I felt like making some sad Zib stuff...

[violintrees]

Fanfiction Appreciation Week

Day 7 Freestyle

- Collecting and recommending Fics that I couldn’t fit into the list or I remembered a little too late but still highly recommend (Also I am skipping the tags for time sake, but feel free to ask if needed!)

Inside Out by andystarr - 3 shot about Zim and Dib’s relationship post a resisty mission gone wrong. Two idiots one body/ there was only one body is a fav of mine and this fic does it amazingly. Zadf to Zadr and great character introspection.

And They Were Roommates! by @smeetfeet - Very good series in progress about Zim and Dib getting closer and forming a shaky relationship with the resisty. They also have a lot of other lovely zadf or zadr oneshots.

Fine Line by raritydiamonds - Two shot of Gaz and Dib’s perspective on Zim staying on Earth. Zadf/r. Love the way this author describes things.

RebelZ by @sweetiepie08 - I had this fic in mind for its fantastic Control Brains lore and Tak as a main character. I finally got a chance to finish it and it ends just a great! An early favorite of mine that I had a great time rereading still.

- Now for things that aren’t technically fanfiction but comics are a lot of work and take a lot of writing as well and I can do what I want

Linguistic AU by @xryn-art - STELLAR AMAZING comic series about language and Zim’s history with Irk. The beginnings of some Zadf and some great skoodge content. Incredible series.

Zab the Hurken (Beginning link & End Link) by @draidachiart - WONDERFUL comic series about Earth in the future, a falling Irken empire, great original characters, and great writing. Has Zadr and Tagr elements but is mostly focused on the OCs. This series is complete but the author is also working on a new comic series and is a wonderful artist in everything they do so definitely give them some support. 

Thanks for all the likes and reblogs but please also leave these authors a kudos and comment (or reblog the comics)! There is so much good fanwork out there and it is important to actively support it!

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7  

[galaxina-the-pyro]

So, No Disrespect Meant, But...

Why do you people like to tag ZADR alongside ZADF?

Like, I get it - usually ZADRs start OFF with Zim and Dib either beings enemies, friends, then lovers, or friends and then lovers, and sometimes even enemies to just lovers. I get that - there's a process usually. But like...I am SICK and TIRED of trying to look for ZADF content, only to be just BOMBARDED with ZADR content.

Like, ship what you want, I'm not here to judge - in my art, Zim is a child because I feel uncomfortable with a full-grown adult alien attending a class of children. He acts like a child, therefore he IS a child, probably around Dib's age. I get how people are uncomfortable with the ship because of the fact that, canonically, Zim IS an adult, but like...in fiction? We can change stuff? Like, cmon, there are limits, but I always had the impression that Zim was a kid. So that's not my issue at all, and that's not even my main point so I'm rambling.

I just don't like ZADR. I like ZADF. And I don't want to see ZADR stuff when I'm looking at ZADF stuff. And I know I'm not the ONLY ONE who complains about this, because I've seen another rant about this in the past - I just, cmon...cmon, you guys.

It's not even just an issue that tumblr has, it's an issue I see EVERYWHERE. I'll read a fic that I think is purely ZADF at first, and then suddenly, BOOM! They decide they wanna smooch now - and it's because I didn't notice a frigging tag saying "Oh, yeah, it's ZADF...butthenitbecomesZADR". Like...if it's endgame ZADR, just tag it as ZADR! Don't throw me off and make me think "Oh, finally, just some platonic fluff between my favorite crazy boys" when it's really just a slow burn - there's a fine line between ZADF and ZADR.

Now, of course, there are EXCEPTIONS, like those kinds of fics where it's a compilation of oneshots or something, and some stories are ships and others are just friendships and stuff. That makes sense to tag as both. Then there are pictures that are like, "This is ZADF/ZADR, but you can see it as ZADR/ZADF if you want" - that ALSO makes sense. And of course, who could forget the pieces of art that are supposed to be centered on ZADR, ZADF, and ZADE - yes. Tag it as all of them, because that makes SENSE then. But...I'm sorry, when I try to look for ZADF, and all I see is a mountain of ZADR overshadowing the tiny hill of content I INTENDED TO LOOK FOR, then there's a problem.

Again, ship what you guys want. I don't judge. But...tag things properly! Don't just put in tags to get more people to look at your stuff, and don't add tags just for technicality - some of us just aren't into it, and we would like to look at things that aren't what you wanna look at. And vice versa.

I'd say the same goes for ZADE, too - I'm sure there are people who just like them being enemies and stuff and don't LIKE it when Zim and Dib are being friendly or romantic. Don't throw them off, like...sheesh.

TL;DR: Stop tagging ZADR stuff as ZADF when it's just ZADR or even endgame ZADR, because I want ZADF content and it's completely been overrun by ZADR and it's irritating me.

[artistictiliqua]

Working on a little impulse project! It may or may not be a small onshot and that oneshot may or may not be zadf/r

[rissynicole]

For the ask thing, top five iz fanfics and top 5 iz characters

Top 5 IZ Fanfics (In no particular order):

1. Retribution by Raina1 (shout out to my beta reader @fauxpromises for introducing me to this one)

2. Counting Day by @oliviikate (finished zadf novel with space adventures and angst. What more could you ask for?) 

3. Erroneous by @hecallsmehischild (Child has a lot of really good stuff! Check her out!)

4. A Lesson in Slumber by Chepsi (fun little zadf oneshot story)

5. The Price of Determination by @depressed-zimothy (This legitimately made me cry, which I consider to be a testament of an excellently written story. Also, anything by Zimothy is fantastic.)

Top 5 IZ Characters (In order from favorite to least):

1. Zim

2. GIR

3. Dib

4. Gaz

5. Skoodge

[andyyoureastarr]

d-do u have any ~~vintage zadr~~ recommendations that aren't smut? :'d (nothing against that stuff, it's just not for me)

heck yeah! here are some “oldies” from long ago (like 2012-2017) 😁    (warning: long post)

Cartography by Word-Spitting-Dragon | ~286K | T | In Progress

Summary: Resisty!Zim AU: When the Irkens start exporting dangerous goods outside of known Irken space, Zim and his fellow R.E.S.I.S.T.Y. members decide to take a look, hoping to expose something they can use to finally end the Irken Menace. But what lies out in the farthest, uncharted corners of space? And could it really help the rebel cause? ZADF eventually ZADR

Notes: I’m obsessed with this fic. It’s funny, it’s in-depth, and it takes its time (hence the word count). It’s honestly worth taking the time to read it, though. All of the characters are great; the author clearly put time into making them their own while still being true to canon with main characters like Dib and Zim. Lots of romantic tension, lots of drama, and lots of twists and turns. I have a weakness for crying Dib, and this fic delivers. It’s the main inspiration for my current WIP, and I can’t say enough good things about it.

The author doesn’t seem too worried about including smut, and has said that, if they were to do so, they’d probably keep it out of the fic and publish it as a side-story oneshot so that people who are less into smut don’t have to worry about skipping around in the story.

Say I’m the Only Bee in Your Bonnet by DesdemonaKaylose | ~6K | M | Complete

Summary: “Magazines and a vague feeling of inadequacy.” Zim fantasizes about the future and Dib did not ever intend to join the football team.

Notes: Technically kind of pre-ZaDr, but worth mentioning. Absolutely phenomenal fic. Zim and Dib are in-character. Rarely do IZ fics with a teenaged Dib truly dive headfirst into making him a ridiculous, silly teenager (as all teens are, sorry, teens). This one does it and does it well. The writing is great, and Zim is spot-on and hilarious. Can’t say enough good things about it! 

Verd’ika by DesdemonaKaylose | ~7K | G | Complete

Summary: “Maybe it starts with zombies. Maybe it starts with a rescue mission. Maybe it starts somewhere outside of what scientists and historians can quantify. But it is universal, wild, and unabashedly stupid.’Do not touch him,’ the Irken says. ‘That soldier is mine.’”

Notes: Written by the same author as Say I’m the Only Bee in Your Bonnet, this fic is also just so good. It’s styled as being part-story, part-encyclopedia entry about irkens. It’s also not strictly romantic, so I guess also pre-ZaDr, but both of DesdemonaKylose’s fics are so good, I literally can’t get enough of them and they should be on every ZaDr reclist, in my humble opinion.

Chicken Soup, Approximately by (you guessed it) DesdemonaKaylose | ~3K | G | Complete

Summary: It was like he was going to be sick, only, if he puked now there would just be little cartoon hearts all across his boots. Wow, he thought. Look at the Dib-Monkey go.

Notes: Ok last one by this author, but I’m sorry, it’s so perfect. Dib goes feral and Zim is Into It. Literally what more could you ask for? Plus a Zim POV fic is a rarity in itself and this one is just *chef’s kiss*. (Also I realize that this is from Summer 2019 so not certifiably vintage, but we’re letting it slide this time.)

a swarm of bullets tearing the air by punk_rock_yuppie | ~2K | T | Complete

Summary: Dib has a question. Zim has an answer. Or, how Dib embarrasses himself by testing out different possible alien kissing rituals.

Notes: Silly and cute, written by a talented writer. Honestly, I would be captivated by the way this writer describes water. I believe they have at least one other non-smutty ZaDr fic that you can check out as well!

The Human Kribliss by Swing-21 | ~44K | T | Complete

Summary: ‘This hatred belongs to Zim and no one else,’ muttered the alien with contained fury. ZADR

Notes: The summary really doesn’t go into details on the story, but it’s your classic fun space adventure where Zim and Dib get into lots of trouble. Love the OCs in this one – the author takes real care to tell their stories as well. I’m obsessed with Kinn, personally. Additionally, this story is super fun, Dib and Zim are ridiculous and great. I would add that this story’s sequel, The Uprising, is especially fantastic; it has the same elements as the first story, but you can tell that here is where the author really hit their stride. Keep an eye out for Dibship, who makes his first and I think only appearance in IZ fanfics. 

The Cosmic Exclamation Mark Series by cupidty11/@gaylienz | ~3K total | G-T | Complete(?)

Summary: Wherein Zim and Dib are traveling in space and this is a kind of glimpse at that. Where they are partners/friends/and somethingmoreish.

Notes: These are all great little fics starring a spacefaring Zim and Dib. This author is probably the most prolific IZ writer out there, period, and I reread a lot of their works when I get the chance (including the smut fic that I recommended to @foolishwormhuman a second ago, lol). This series I think is especially well done, and provides neat little glimpses into Dib and Zim’s life together

That’s about all I got for right now! I hope you enjoy yourself some ZaDr: Classic 😊😊

[arboribus]

Do you have any fic recs... I need some quality content...

I’m not sure if you sent this in before or after I made my rec post, because I am terrible, but I have a post of recs here if you want to check those out, but if you’ve already read though all of those, here’s some more under the cut

Pleased - a bittersweet zasr oneshot

Summer Time - a lighthearted zadf oneshot

Chores - yet another zadf oneshot

From the Other Side - Dib is Bapey

A Rare Event - What a surprise, its zadf

A Sense of Pride - The tallest go to pride (zasr and rapr)

Play Fair - I don’t actually remember what this one’s about I just remember I liked it

Reasons - VERY GOOD TOP FAV SHOULD READ (zadf, of course. Warnings for suicide)

Sorry they’re mostly oneshots that’s most of what I read