#jack maynard angst

[peanutbuttercreamjelly]

Noise - Jack Maynard

Where you live in the apartment a level lower than Jack and you can’t sleep because Jack has way too much fun with a girl.

Warning: Mentions of smut

Ugh, I know it’s short, but I’m thinking about making a part 2 maybe...

It was nearly 2 am, and Y/N couldn’t sleep. She lied awake, actually having to study for her upcoming finals tomorrow, but she was too tired for that. She really wanted to rest, she needed to, but she couldn’t. And there was only one reason why.

Jack Maynard.

Out of all people, he had to live in the apartment above hers. He was the loudest person she had ever met. She didn’t even know when he slept, because there were people over yelling and cheering in the middle of the night, or he would bring random girls home literally 24/7. Two days ago, it had been 9 am, and they were so loud that she did not only hear them in her bedroom, but in her living room, too. Today though, they reached a whole new level of noise. It sounded as if they were about to break the bed. She didn’t mind him having an active sex life, she had one herself, but she didn’t do it so loudly that everybody else in the entire building lied awake and was forced to listen.

Enough was enough. She had an exam tomorrow, she could not go there completely sleep-deprived, so she decided to go up there and disrupt their little... encounter.

She took the lift, went one floor up, and rang his bell. Y/N was surprised that she couldn’t hear them as well as from her bedroom below. When nothing happened, she rang again. And then she just kept ringing until finally, the door opened, revealing a thoroughly fucked out Jack.

“What do you want?”, he asked as he recognized her. She had caught his eye once or twice as they met at the mailboxes or as they shared a lift.

“Look”, Y/N said, “I’m glad you have a healthy sex life and all but will you please try not to pierce a whole through my ceiling with your bed? Thanks.”

She wanted to turn around and go back to bed, finally getting some sleep, but there was something that caught her eye. It was a very prominent, purple hickey that started right at his collarbone. She took a closer look at his state now, finding that his face was flushed, his hair a mess, and his body was bare except for a pair of boxers that he apparently had put on in a rush.

She suddenly became very aware of her soggy pajama pants and her top that, as she discreetly looked down, revealed way more than she wanted. To top it off, she didn’t wear a bra and the chilly air in the hallway made her nipples stand out through the thin fabric. She felt herself blushing, but there was nothing that she could do about it.

“Look, I know we might have been a bit louder, but... we’re done soon, okay?”, Jack said and tried to shut the door.

But Y/N wasn’t having any of it. She placed her foot in between Jack’s door and the frame, wincing slightly as the door squeezed her foot. She hadn’t bothered to put shoes on, she just went up there in fuzzy socks.

“No”, she said. “No, it’s not okay. I have a bloody exam tomorrow and I can’t sleep because you choose to ruin your bed right above of mine. I don’t care what you are doing to her, but keep it low”, she stressed the last few words, “or I’m calling the security guy.” Then she turned around and stomped back to the lift.

Jack really was an idiot, although she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she had had when she saw him like this. Still, she reminded herself, he was an idiot.

Based off this post from @dailyau

[maynardtrash]

Hurting Pt. 2~Jack Maynard

A/N: this is a part two of an angsty angst imagine i wrote bc i was just getting over a boy who lowkey fucked me up but its life so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. anywayzilz ill link pt 1 here or you can go to my masterlist or not read it at all idc what you do its your life dude this ones a long boi tho sorry guys.

     I prepared myself to be the hottest I could be. I did my hair, wore my favorite skimpy and sexy dress, and my makeup was *snatched*. It was the first time I had gone out in a few months. It was the first time I had gone out since the incident. I didn’t like speaking about it because I would only think about it. I would relive the whole thing over again. I was going to have fun tonight. I was going to be happy again, even if it killed me. I couldn’t waste my time and energy on him. He was no longer in my life and I had to accept that. I had to accept that he wasn’t worth me or my time.

     I grabbed my clutch and joined my friends as we went to grab our Uber. We were going to a club opening and nothing said forgetting a shitty ex like free booze from greasey men trying to get into my pants and me trying to deny them as gently and politely as possible. We showed up to a long line of people dying to get in. But with great friends comes great opportunities. My friend (Y/F/N) was hooking up with the club owner. The bouncer recognized her immediately as he let us passed while we left behind groans and shouting from the queue.

     We were faced with mulitcolored lights, a sea of people, and booming EDM. My friends and I were all pulled to the bar as we squeezed through the crowd. Another friend of mine ordered a round of shots, and they all lifted their glasses to me. “To (Y/N)!” my friend shouted over the music. “Because fuck men and fuck men, amiright!?” We all laughed hysterically at her speech, cheers-ed, then threw them back. We had some more drinks before my group moved to the dance floor. We danced for a bit, grabbed drinks, went back to the dance floor, bought more drinks, and the cycle continued. 

     After what felt like an eternity, I decided it was time to sit down. I didn’t care who’s table I was going to, and neither did my feet. Heels in hand, I climbed into the closest booth to me, sighed in relief, and closed my eyes. “Long time no see, stranger,” a familiar voice shouted at me. My tired eyes fluttered open and laid upon a sight that made them sore. It was my ex boyfriend’s brother, Conor. He was giving me a warm smile, but I had never felt colder. My eyes widened and I began to panic. “Sorry, sorry,” I said, not caring if he heard.

     As I began to get up, I felt myself press against a warm force. I looked up to see a set of familiar blue eyes. Jack looked at me with a mix of sadness, elation, and guilt. “(Y/N), it’s so good to see you,” he said desperately. I said nothing in return, but I made a straight b-line to the bathroom. I ran to a stall and began to dry heave and cry and resort back to square one. “Tonight was supposed to be my night,” I thought to myself. “It was supposed to be my comeback.” Then a light bulb went off. It could still be my night.

     I got up from the ground, flushed, brushed myself off, and went to the mirrors. I touched up my makeup, grabbed a drink, chugged it, then went to the dance floor. I grabbed a random man and began to grind on him. He was getting into it, and I tried. Then I felt a strong hand grab my wrist and pull me away. Before I looked up, we were outside. I picked my head up and looked at my captor. “What the fuck, Jack!?” I screamed as I saw my ex glare at me.

     “I should be asking you that, (Y/N)!” he yelled back.

     “Why!? You’re not my boyfriend anymore! I’m no longer your damsel to save! I’m no longer your issue!”

     “To hell you aren’t! I still love you!”

     “Is that so? Certainly didn’t look that way when you were plowing another girl!” 

     “You don’t think I don’t think about that every god damn day!? You don’t think that’s one of my biggest regrets!?”

     “Then why did you do it, Jack? Why did you cheat on me?” At this point we had drawn a small crowd and I was on the verge of tears. “It’s a shitty excuse,” he grumbled.

     “I don’t care,” I told him. “It kills me even more that I don’t know why you decided to do that.”

     “Because... because you were the first girl I cared about,” he said. “Genuinely. You weren’t just another fuck and chuck. You were different. But then I got scared. I thought you would leave me because I thought karma would bite me in the ass. So I did what I’m best at and I hurt you first. But when I saw that look in your eyes I regret it with all my heart.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Please,” I retorted. 

     “Do you want me to prove it to you?” he asked angrily. I threw my arms in the air, gesturing him to go on his Casanova rant to save his ass and win the girl. “Art museum, food from a food truck, exploring the city we’re doing that in and finding non-touristy things to do. Your perfect date. You want someone to give you grape hyacinths on Valentine’s Day because they’re still beautiful but aren’t typical. You prefer silver over gold because it feels more classic. You think your best angle is your left but I think all angles of you are beautiful. And you hate that I say that because you think I’m lying. I could go on but if I did you would probably try to punch me for doing something as cheesy as this.”

     I was angry, but only because he made me not want to hate him. I wanted nothing more to go tell him to go fuck himself, that I wanted nothing to do with him. Then he said, “Let me have one more chance. Just one. Let me do all those things I should have done the first time.” I began to cry because I felt weak. But I agreed, and his eyes lit up. He rushed over and hugged me, and we started anew.

[openensos]

This decision might be the hardest one he’s ever had to make. 

Nichols had been slowing down the past few months. Where he was quick to rush outside for a walk or a snack he’s started to shamble and, eventually, even lay unmoving by an open door. Even Diablo can’t rouse him into a booty-bumping wrestle and Jack misses the sound of the dogs play fighting when Ralph comes over to hoist his feet into Jack’s lap and watch movies. A trip to the vet a few weeks ago confirmed Jack’s worst fears - Nichols was sick. And in a way that wasn’t going to get better, not even with more cash. 

Jack’s at a loss. Nichols was a total accident he hadn’t been expecting to enter his life. Actually, that could be equated to a lot of happenings: Ralph, a new job, his art getting recognized. All of those things had caught him by surprise. Nichols had seen him through it all - and before when things hadn’t been so peachy. Imagining his day to day without the dog is impossible. 

He knows what the answer is. Deep down in his guts. Give Nichols one last Dog Day Afternoon and then take him to the vet, entering with his arms full of stocky blue pit and leaving without. Before Nichs is overcome with pain. While he can still wag his tail and lick up peanut butter from a spoon and try and steal Ralph’s sunglasses from the small table by the door. 

But he’s not strong enough to do it on his own. He’s never had to do something like this before. He’s not sure if Ralph has either but there’s no one else he trusts with something so raw. So, after wiping the tears from his eyes and the snot from his upper lip, trying his best to ignore the steady tail thump of the dog currently sagged over his lap, he dials Ralph. 

“Hey... can you come over? Bring Diablo.” 

( @oftacosandink )

[teaglcwn]

Pinch me  ( Jack Maynard x Reader )

Jack Maynard x Reader Genre: fluff Word count: 517 | Requested: Could you do Jack Maynard fanfic where the reader is a dancer and she's very popular and one day the reader collabs with him. | 

a/n: Ahoihoi, so i’m just warning that this isin’t my best work ! and there are mistakes i am sorry. i wrote this on my phone cause my laptop is broken and yeah. <3

You walked into the dance studio and saw your manager with 3 guys that you recognized. Jack Maynard, Conor Maynard, and Josh Pieters. Being the fangirl you are you literally squealed and immediately covered your mouth.

All the attention went to you and you just walked to the couch where you threw your jacket and backpack. You cleared your throat and walked to your manager,

'' Hello, '' you said smiling at them trying to calm yourself. '' Yes, meet Y/n. One of our youngest and the most, let's say known, dancers. '' your manager told the Youtubers. You smiled and looked down. Your head snapped back up when you hear your name come from Jack's mouth.

'' Why are you shy? ''  he said laughing. You smiled, '' I'm not shy, I'm the opposite. '' you replied to him, he raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms.

''Alright Y/n, you're gonna make a video with Jack, I'm gonna then show Conor and Josh the rest of the group and their gonna make a video.'' your manager smiled and then walked out with Conor and Josh.

The door closed and you looked towards Jack who you caught checking you out.  '' Oui, stop looking me like you're gonna take a bite of me, '' you said laughing. Jack looked up and smiled '' Alright, so, I thought we could do like a Q & A with like questions for dancers which are you gonna answer, and then like teach me something. I literally came here with no ideas so let's see what's gonna come out of this.''

The door opened and Conor and Josh walked in, '' Hello!''  you screamed. '' I don't get it !!'' Jack said frustrated, you laughed and walked beside him, '' Okay, put your hands on your hips- '' you both put your hands on the hips '' - then lift your right hand and make a circle in the air and while you're doing that put your left arm behind your back. '' You both did the move.

''There you go!!'' You said excited and loud. Jack looked at you also towards Josh and Conor  '' It actually wasn't that difficult'' he said kinda shocked. '' Of course, it was easy, it would've been easier if you didn't flirt with the camera or me.'' You fired back making Josh and Conor laugh and Jack looking at you shocked.

''When are you gonna upload that video?'' You asked Jack, '' Tomorrow when we go to dinner, so i'll pick you up at 7 '' he replied bold. '' Ahh okay I'll look forward- WAIT WHAT?!'' your eyes went wide, you cleared your throat '' I mean, okay? I don't really know what to say. '' you said looking down.

'' Don't worry about it, '' Jack said walking towards you '' Wear something comfortable '' and with that, he left you shocked and confused. You sighed and whispered,

'' Someone pinch me. ''

[music-my-angel]

Schedule for August

August schedule:

Saturday 1st Aug – Teen Wolf: Scott centric - Teen Wolf? Scott is really sick ( coughing fever sniffles ) but pretends he’s not- stiles to the rescue. Fluff. Thx

Saturday 8th Aug – One Direction: Liam centric - could you do a 1D fic where liam breaks his arm and tries to hide it because he thinks he needs to be strong and doesnt want to look weak? but it ends up really hurting him (lots of angst if u can :) ) and the boys find out and get it taken care of.

Saturday 15th Aug – 5sos: Calum centric - Hi, my bday is August 18th. Could you write a 5SOS fanfic where Calum was shot during a mass shooting in the past and has a panic attack during a meet and greet? Thanks😁😁

Saturday 22nd Aug – Janoskians: Jai centric - can u do a janoskians one where Jai is blind or something and his brothers always try to help him but one day Jai gets really upset and angry at his brothers because they think he can’t do anything on his own? brotherly fluff? thanks xx

Saturday 29th Aug – Youtubers: Jack Maynard centric - I’d love to read a fic where Jack opens up to Joe about why he has panic attacks coming back from family gatherings. It’s because one of his uncles abused him as a child and he can’t say anything about it because he wants to protect his family. Joe tells him he’ll always protect him. 🌻

Humble request: Please if you have a birthday prompt that you want it to be written on a specific date please send it way before (like a month in advance) and to those who didn’t see their prompt on the list (whether it’s a birthday prompt or anything else) kindly wait for the next schedule to have your prompt written.

[buttercreamficsx-blog]

In Your Shadow

could you do one with Conor and jack Maynard and jack is feeling inferior to Conor and then Conor reassures him could u do one where Jack has an inferiority complex due to constantly being in Conor's shadow that it causes him to self harm,, with Conor somehow finding out and getting all overprotective and assuring Jack that he's loved and all that? it's okay if you don't want to write this as it may make you feel uncomfortable about the self harm😌 ------------------------------------------------ Considering Conor was the older sibling, it was natural for Jack to look up to him. And he did. He always had. But he also felt inferior to him. Conor was so much better at everything than him. He was a better singer, people thought he was funnier, he got more girls, he was more intelligent, he was better looking. Although these weren't all true, that was how Jack felt. He was so used to being compared to Conor that he just assumed he wasn't good enough. So Jack turned to hurting himself. Every time he cute his wrist, with each flick of the knife, Jack thought he was punishing himself. ‘One for not being good enough’ ‘Two for being a disappointment’ ‘Three for being a waste of space’ This went on for a long time and no one even noticed. No one realised how much Jack was hurting from the inside. Jack and Conor were home one day, just watching some films and messing about. “Hey jack, can you pass me the remote?” Conor called out. “Urgh fine, you’re so lazy” Jack muttered under his breath. “You're just closer” Conor laughed. Jack reached out to grab the remote, not realising that the sleeves on his shirt had ridden up. Conor gasped as he saw the red marks. “Jack” “Yeah?” “What are those?” Conor whispered, pointing at his wrists. “Huh? Oh n-nothing” Jack said quickly, yanking down his sleeves. But Conor had already seen. He reached out his hand quickly and grabbed Jacks wrist. Jack hissed at the contact, wincing in pain slightly. “Conor just leave it I-“ “Jack what have you done?” Conor said in disbelief as he pulled up Jacks sleeve to reveal loads of scars, some new, some old. “It's nothing, just fell over and stuff” “Don't lie Jack. How long?” “Conor-“ “How long?” “A few months” “Why Jack? Why?” “Im always in your shadow” “What?” Conor replied, confused. “I'm not good enough. You're the singer, the funny one, the clever one. Then there's me. I'm stupid and useless” Jack said softly, tears falling down his cheeks. “Jack stop this nonsense. You're perfect bro, don’t believe all that stuff! Why would you compare yourself to me? We're different people and you're special in so many ways! There's plenty of stuff that you're better at and stuff I wish I could do like you. Never feel like you're worthless or I'm better than you because I'm not. Neither of us is better than the other and we never will be because we're brothers and no one will ever try to persuade me differently. I love you for who you are, not for anything you can do. Don't change or believe that stuff for anyone ok Jack?” “But-“ “No buts. That's it” “I understand” Jack mumbles, wiping his eyes. “I'm sorry I didn't see that you were hurting, but I'm here now. And we'll get you better. You'll never have to be in my shadow ever again” “What if I get like this again?” “You won't. But if you do, you come to me. You tell me and I'll fix it. I don't care what time, what day or where I am. You call me and I'll come, ok?” “Ok” “To start off with, I want you to give me the razor” “No I can't I-“ “Please Jack, for me. Give it to me and I'll help make you better” Jack nodded slightly, pushing himself up and walking to his room. He emerged a minute later with a small box in his hand. “That's the only one” “You promise?” “I promise” “Good boy. I'm proud of you Jack. I really am” “Even though I messed up?” “You didn't mess up, you just went down the wrong path. But you're back now, and I'm never leaving you again” “Thank you” Jack whispered leaning forwards into Conor. Conor opened arms and wrapped his arms around his baby brother. He held him, knowing that Jack was back, and he would never let him go again.

[oh-ishouldnt]

Open hearts

Open hearts | Conor Maynard | Imagine Word count: 5297 Request: Can I have a Conor imagine where the reader has been good friends with Conor since 2013 and they become friends with benefits after two years old friendship. Conor later realizes that he’s in love with the reader once he finds her kissing a stranger at a party. He later confesses his feelings which the reader returns affectionately. Lots of angst and fluff pls! A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I was working on an idea that I had based on “Trust Issues” by Kiki Rowe (Young Bombs’ remix) and this request completed it perfectly, so I twisted things a little and combined the two things. Hope you gonna like it! If you want more Buttercream Squad imagines, click here | Requests are open!

“Can I turn the radio on?” you asked Conor, who was driving.

You two knew each other since you were kids. He was a couple years older and you were a little annoying, but as you grew up, you and your neighbor started getting closer, especially after a party of a classmate that both of you were way too drunk.

When Conor graduated and pursued his dream of being a singer, you were busy trying to survive high school, so you went in separate ways. Then success hit Conor and you moved to London to try to do something with your life. Things were moving fast, however, you randomly bumped into him at a friend’s party.

After the years you didn’t speak to him, it was expected that things would be a little awkward or the conversation would be kind of lame with the old “How are you? Any news?” “I’m fine. No, nothing has happened” conversation, but you started talking just like the old days: anything was ten times funnier than it should be just because you two got along so well.

This time that both of you could drink without having to keep a secret from your parents, you were the life of the party and, because of Conor’s fame, you were pretty damn down to the finest parties in the country. It was insane. And when Conor’s career slowed down, you two continued to spoke to each other.

When you met him for the second time, he was in a relationship. You two never talked about it, it was something almost forbidden. By the time he and Victoria broke up, it was almost inevitable. He would invite you to go out even when he was dating, when he wasn’t anymore, you and Conor were at the same parties and clubs every weekend, so eventually, you got together.

You two kissed once, then twice and then again. And again. And again. Now you didn’t know anymore how many times you kissed Conor or spent the night with him. Despite this, you and he weren’t nothing but friends.

“Are you asking a singer if you can turn the radio on? Are you fucking insane? Of course not, it’s my work and today is my day off. Also, I can’t handle that Styles guy singing, he’s on the radio every time I turn it on and he’s shit, I’m so much better than him.” Conor joked and you rolled your eyes.

“Is it a yes, then?”

“Yes.” He said. “But only if you play my music.”

“Shut up, Conor.” you told as you turned the radio on.

You and your best friend were driving to Brighton to his mom’s birthday party. You usually didn’t enjoy going to family parties. Seeing boring aunts and talking to selfish cousins weren’t what you would describe as fun activities, however, although the Maynards were your second family as growing up, you haven’t seen them in ages. Also, you didn’t know why, but they were blessed and were a really nice family, even the most boring conversations they could turn into a joke. You loved the Maynards and were more than glad to join Conor at Helen’s party.

Your parents moved away from your old street to another part of the town, besides that, they were traveling to Italy (after your mom talk about it with your dad for 3 years), so Conor offered you the option of you staying at his family house. You were worried, but you said yes anyway.

Worried? Yes, worried. Because here’s a thing about Connor: when he likes a girl, he doesn’t keep quiet about it and you knew Conor long enough to say he fancied you. Sometimes you weren’t sure about it and others you would be 100% convinced of the idea. Maybe he didn’t realize that yet or maybe he was waiting to tell you or maybe it was only your desire of having him to like you again more than what Conor really felt, you couldn’t tell.

When you two were at school yet, you knew Conor liked you. You didn’t correspond him and it was by a short amount of time, soon he was off school and distance got in between. One of your greatest mistakes was letting him go. You knew you tried to correspond it and couldn’t, however, in your head, everything would be okay if you did. Now that you thought that he might like you again, you were half freaking out and half wanting it to be a truth.

You found love only once in your life. He was in the same class as you and had the same tastes to everything, so you couldn’t help yourself. When he didn’t correspond you, you broke down. You were afraid to risk your heart, not wanting the same “I need to recover” time you had to pass when you fell in love for the first time. All you could think was that maybe Conor would lead you to this path, however, maybe Conor would be the only one you were more than happy to be hurt by, because he was pretty awesome.

You were singing along to the tune that came out of the speakers when Conor laughed.

“What?” You asked.

“You just sing as you are the singer and not me, it’s funny.”

“For God’s sake, Con.” you rolled your eyes again. “You know me for a crazy amount of time, you always see me singing, get over it.”

You were right, by the way. Conor did like you. He didn’t figure it out so far, but it wasn’t an issue. The only thing he knew was that seeing you on that passenger side, while the sun shined through the window, singing like no one was watching, gave him a warm feeling. He knew that as long his had his best friend, he would be fine.

It wasn’t always like this, of course. Conor and his depression was another topic that you two never discussed. Not for the same reason as the other refused subject, this one was because you couldn’t handle thinking that sometimes Conor started feeling that alone and you couldn’t help. He said that it was something only he could deal with, but it hurt you seeing your best friend in such position.

“I was kidding, Y/N,” Conor said when you were getting close to Brighton. “you don’t need to hear my own music.” You laughed and continued to sing “Are You Sure?” like nothing happened. “For the love of God then, don’t ruin my gorgeous tune with your horrible voice. You know, it was hard archiving this level of perfection.” he joked. “Actually, no. My voice is like this even if I’m ill and dying.”

“I won’t say nothing because this is actually accurate.” you told. “But fuck off, Maynard.” he laughed.

“Well, thank you then.” He recognized your compliment despite his self-centered joke.

“Any time, Con.” you winked. You weren’t kidding, this song was one of your favorites.

“My mom will freak out when she finds out I brought you with me.” he commented.

“Oh my God, Conor, didn’t you tell her?”

“Hum… no?”

“So I will just show up saying I’m staying at your parents’ house? Oh no. You know, I brought the keys of my parents’ house, I can stay in there. Wait… Helen don’t know I’m going to be at her party? What if she didn’t want it to be more than a family thing?”

“Y/N, relax.” Conor looked at you quickly before turning back to the road. “My mom loves you, she won’t say a thing. I was saying she will freak out of joy.” You took a deep breath, why Conor just couldn’t make things easier? “Actually, thanks God there’s Anna, because my parents could easily adopt you as their little girl. It would be awful.”

You blushed. “Con, you know it’s not like that.”

“Yes, it is. I don’t know how they can possible like you so much, but they just do. Even if was an event closed to family only, what are you? Part of the family.” He shrugged. “Also, Jack probably told them already you would come.” Jack got in Brighton the day before you two.

You smiled. “Thank you.”

“Any time, Y/N/N.” he said, imitating your act.

The last 30 minutes of the path to the Maynard’s house were filled with nothing but the music you played. You were lost in your thoughts and, apparently, so was Conor.

When he parked in front of the residence, you smiled right away. You got out of the car and took the stuff that was in the rear seat, Conor took your baggage out of the trunk. He rang the front door’s bell and you chose to stay behind him.

“Conor!” Helen said excited, giving her son a hug.

“Your favorite son has arrived, mother.” he joked.

“Shut up, I am the favorite.” Anna told, coming to see her brother.

“You wish, little girl.” Con teased. “Happy birthday, mom.”

“Thank you, honey.” The woman smiled. “Oh, Y/N!” Helen exclaimed when she saw you, giving you a hug too. “I missed you, dear! Conor explained that you are busy with your work stuff, but it’s a long time since you last came to see us.”

“Yes, I missed you guys so much.” You agreed. “Happy birthday, Helen.” you said, giving her her present.

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you. Thank you, Y/N.”

Conor teased again: “And I declared that you have your own family too besides your work, Y/N, but mother doesn’t understand you aren’t a Maynard.” yet. You completed in your head as you smiled at the lady.

“For now.” Anna said as she hugged you and you gave her a sweet smile. She was your favorite Maynard, without any doubt. “I mean, you clearly are going to marry my brother.” she winked and then confessed: “I missed you too.”

“I missed my girl as well.” you told her.

“Anna, please, don’t tell Y/N my plans for our future, you’re going to ruin it.” Conor joked. “How the hell am I going to propose and get the Insta shots of her horrendous shock face? I need to boost my Insta account, you know.”

“It’s not a secret you’re deeply in love with me, Con.” you said back while giving Anna a kiss on the head. “It’s only a matter of time.” Anna giggled and her older brother rolled his eyes.

“Where is father?” Conor asked, entering the house. You followed him.

“On the market, we forgot some things to the party.”

“As usual.” Anna completed.

“Hey Y/N.” Jack greeted, sat on the sofa.

“Hi Jack, how are you?”

“Fine.” he shrugged.

“You don’t want to tell Y/N how you missed her too? How she’s the lost Maynard?” Conor asked.

“I don’t need to miss her.” Jack told, standing up to give you a hug. “We have a kick-ass relationship that works through telepathy.” he mocked. “I bet you don’t have this kind of connection with her.”

You and Jack saw each other almost every day, because this was the amount of times you saw Conor, so of course he wouldn’t miss you.

“Yeah, we have this and, also, we have Whatsapp.” You said, winking at Jack and making him laugh.

“Is this the voice of a certain young beautiful lady?” you heard a man ask.

You turned around and saw Gary entering the living room. You smiled.

“Hello.”

“Hey, kid. How are you?” He asked, going to you and giving you a hug.

“Fine. You?”

“Same.”

Conor snorted. “Why you guys don’t switch me for her? I’m the son, dad!” You all laughed.

“Conor, there’s a gorgeous girl in the room and then there’s you. Who you recommend me to great first?” He asked, giving Con a hug too, but he didn’t hug back.

“Don’t touch me.” Con joked, laughing afterward and corresponding the hug. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I’m the wisdom, kid.” Gary winked.

The party went really well. As usual, the Maynards were amazing. You laughed the hell out of you with Conor and Jack teasing Anna and she being even sassier than her older brothers. The other guests were pretty fine too, you knew almost everybody already and those who were introduced for the first time asked if you were Conor’s girlfriend or Jack’s. You weren’t none.

“Hey,” Conor called you, you were talking to Anna.

“Yes?”

“I was just settling with Jack about going out tonight.”

You looked at the youngest sibling, thorned. Going out the three of you and leaving her behind didn’t feel right.

“I have homework, Y/N.” She told.

“Okay then.” you smiled to Conor and he returned it.

Usually, the Maynards’ parties ended not so early. It wasn’t out of nothing that Con and Jack were used to hang out late at night, their family was always excited about reunions. So no one cared when you and the brothers wanted to go out and leave the party. Helen was pretty fine with that too, knowing that all her children would be home the next day.

You knew Jack and you knew Con, of course you brought a club outfit with you on the trip. Therefore you hit upstairs to get change. Anna followed you.

“So…” She started.

“What?” You asked, putting mascara.

“When you and my brother are going to admit to us that you two are dating?”

You looked at her sitting on the bed through the mirror. “You know we are not, Anna.”

“C’mon, Y/N! You like him, he likes you. What are you waiting for?”

You gave a smile and continued to put your makeup. “I am not that sure that your brother feels this way about me.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can sweet talk Jack with that, but not me, Y/N. I’m the brain of this family. Just admit that you fancy him so Conor can realize you’re the love of his life.”

You laughed. “Anna!”

“I mean, for a singer/songwriter he’s kinda slow for not comprehending this about you two.”

You rolled your eyes and starred at your own eyes through the mirror before admitted: “I don’t know if I want him to do that.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Shut up.”

“No! Y/N!” She exclaimed, anguished. “You always were his person and he always was yours! You two pretend you have a friendship, well, you don’t.”

“Since when you are an expert in relationships, little Maynard?” You asked and snorted, giving up to finish your makeup and going to join Anna on the bed. “Fuck off. You are a little baby still.”

She rolled her eyes. “Y/N, I’m a few years younger than you, I’m not a baby.” And you already knew that because you would never have this conversation if you didn’t trust her and knew she wasn’t crazy to say some kind of bullshit about you and Conor just because it would be what you wanted to hear. “Why everyone keeps saying that I’m so young? Fuck off, people.”

You smiled at her and gave a hug. “It is because none of us wanted to grow up, you shouldn’t too.”

“Well, guys, you are already late.”

“I know.”

Anna moved away from you, breaking the hug. “So, let’s talk for real now. Stop playing me, I know you’re trying to avoid the Conor topic.”

“You really are the brain of the Maynards, aren’t you?” You asked, impressed.

Anna smiled. “Yeah, I’m fucking amazing. But again: what the hell is wrong with you? Why you don’t want to be with my brother?”

“It is not that I don’t want to be with your brother, it’s only that I want to be with him later, you know? You think that I didn’t realize that he’s the one, well, I did. I always knew that, if we liked each other, we would be pretty awesome. But right now? I’m so young, we have all our lives in front of us. Why now? I don’t even want a boyfriend. I don’t need to fall now.” you sighed. “And I don’t want to admit to myself that I’m in love with him. I can hold it back, I know I can. Just for a short time. One year, two… Well, I really don’t want to fall in love for real until I am 25. And I don’t know if I can take another heartbreak.” You were out of breath, you didn’t know that you had all of this inside of you.

“But it won’t be a heartbreak, Y/N, he loves you too,” Anna said. “He just needs to realize that.”

“For fuck’s sake, Anna. Are you hearing what I say?” You laid on bed and took a deep breath, she laid by your side. “I don’t want Conor to correspond me. I want us to be together, but I want us to be together later. When both of us will be ready to commit to it, to find out if we can handle being in a relationship that we don’t have how to avoid talking about our problems. We are just friends, this is all we know. What if I’m wrong? What if he isn’t the one?”

Anna laughed. “You are a freaking mess! You’re being the least logical as possible, Y/N.”

You sighed. “I know.”

“So why can’t you be illogical for real and tell Conor how you feel?”

You stared Anna, seeing her eyes that were in the same color of Conor’s.

“I just can’t.”

Conor didn’t know what happened to you, but since you went upstairs in his parents’ house and spoke to Anna, you were acting all strange. He would kill his sister for messing up with you. She was just a kid and had fucked you still. She isn’t a kid, Conor. That’s what you would tell him. Well, what could he say? Yes, she was.

“Let’s go, Jack!” You called, taking Con’s brother by the hand and pulling him to the club without a single eye contact with the older one.

“Fuck Y/N. You are going to be a crazy garl today, huh?” he joked.

“Maybe,” you smirked and Conor frowned. What the hell?

As soon as you all entered the club, you were nowhere to be seen, something that made Conor sighed in every corner of the place. He thought you two would be together for the whole night, just talking and drinking together. Maybe dancing too, if you were into it.

“Conor!” You exclaimed, finally finding your best friend in the club.

Conor was sitting on a sofa, looking around. “Y/N?” he saw you were holding hands with a stranger and, for being so excited, you definitely had some drinks.

“Look who I found!” You pointed to the guy and then laughed. “I mean, you don’t know him. Actually, neither did I before tonight. I actually found that guy from our school, you know? Sage? Everybody knows Sage. He was amazing on the football team.”

“I don’t have a clue who Sage is,” Conor said, already losing his mind.

“Oh, maybe you weren’t in school anymore by that time.” You giggled. “You know, Adam, Conor is a few years older than us, so he was so much better than us, juniors.”

“I never said that.” Conor was confused. “Actually, we were best friends, even if I was older.”

“Yeah, I know… Friends. Best mates, me and you!” You said, so drunk that you just couldn’t shut the fuck up. “Anyway, Conor, I met Sage and this is his friend. Conor, meet Adam. Adam, this is Conor.” you introduced them and they nodded to each other, not excited as you for the meeting. “Alright, now that everyone knows everyone… Con, I’m heading to Adam’s place.” You informed and Conor lose his breath.

“No, you are not.” He said. “You are staying at my house, Y/N.”

“Oh…” Adam said. “I didn’t realize that you two were boyfriend and girlfriend having a fight.”

You laughed, you wished that! Unfortunately, you weren’t Conor’s girlfriend. “Because we are not, Adam.” You smiled at him, putting your both hands on his pectoral. “And actually, I was crashing his parents’ house, because, you know, Conor is a big boy and he moved out from Brighton before anyone could think in getting away from here. It was nice at the time…” you giggled “You see, he fancied me and I didn’t correspond it, so things were a little awkward. But now we are over it, right Con? He got over me, then he had a girlfriend and they broke up, he was torn apart, but he’s back at the game for years now, so it’s all good.”

“Okay…” Adam said, not being sure about what he should do. “I will get my coat and we can go, what do you think about that?”

“Perfect!” you agreed. “I will be right here with my best friend, Conor Maynard.”

Immediately after Adam get out of sight, Conor took your hand and sat you down. “What the fuck is going on, Y/N?”

“Nothing, Con!” You assured. “Something should have happened?” you asked.

“You’re acting weird.”

“Well, I am a weirdo.”

“No, Y/N…”

“But why are you saying that? I know that you know that I’m a weirdo by now.”

“Hum…”

“Con? Spit it out.”

He rolled his eyes. “At first, you were quiet all the way here, then you disappeared and the next thing I know is you with this guy that came out of nowhere.”

“Adam didn’t come out of nowhere, he is Sage’s friend!” you exclaimed, happier than you should be about the situation.

“And who the hell is Sage?”

“Urgh, I told you already, Con. He was the football player in…”

“I know that, Y/N.”

“So why you keep asking me about him?”

“I didn’t ask about him!”

“Well… Someone is losing his mind.” You said ironically.

Conor sighed. “Y/N…”

“What, Con?” you asked. “What now?”

“I just thought you were staying with me tonight, that’s all.”

“Tell your mom I’m sorry, but I won’t going back to your parents’ house.” You told, suddenly acting sober.

“Ready to go, Y/N?” Adam asked, appeared.

“Yeah.” You smiled and got up. “Let’s go.”

Adam put his hand on your back, pulling you to a kiss before going. It pissed Conor for real. Conor knew the only reason Adam was doing that in front of him was that you snapped out, so he was trying to show that it was him who was taking you home and not Conor. Well, thank you very much, Adam, I know this already.

And although you and Conor weren’t dating, he didn’t know when was the last time he watched you leave the club with another man. You two got so used to hang out together that neither he spent the night with another one besides you for a long time.

“Oh, that was something to look up to.” You said when you and Adam stopped kissing.

He smiled and took you out. Conor watched, feeling shitty.

“Are you back already, son?” Helen asked, seeing Conor enter their house.

“Yeah.”

“What about Jack and Y/N?” she was in the kitchen, so Conor went there to give her a kiss before heading upstairs. “I left some cake for all of you because I thought that you would come home wasted.” she said.

“Jack will take an Uber back home and Y/N isn’t coming.” He gave a weak smile, pretending everything was fine. “How was your party?”

“It was great, it just finished.”

“Nice.” he nodded. “I’m going to sleep.”

As Conor was leaving the room, his mom called him.

“Con?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t let her slip again” the lady advised.

“We’ve been there, mother. She wasn’t into me. Now, we are just friends.”

Helen smiled softly: “Are you?”

Conor stopped breathing as he turned around and his eyes met his mom’s. Were you?

Your phone rang and you looked around Adam’s living room, finding the electronic device among your clothes on the floor. It was a message from Con:

Call me when you done. I’m picking you.

You took a deep breath before answering him: Thanks Con, but there’s no need.

For fuck’s sake, Y/N, please. I don’t trust this guy.

I’ll go by morning. You told. I’m heading straight up to London, I will take the train.

Why? What about your stuff?

I can pick that with you later this week.

Ok, but why? You didn’t respond instantly. Y/N, why?

I just can handle this right now.

This what? Are you okay?

No, you weren’t. You were falling apart alone in that place. Adam was taking a shower in the suite, you didn’t even want to go to the bed when you and he got to his loft. You felt your stomach contracting just for thinking about that night being sweeter than rough sex on the living room’s carpet.

Your phone started ringing. You didn’t need to see the name on the screen to know who it was.

“Hello?”

“Y/N.” Conor sighed. “I’m worried. How are you?”

“I am fine, Con. Relax.”

“Bullshit.”

“Con, honestly, I’m fine.” You told, but tears started falling from your eyes and Conor could hear you. Even if you weren’t crying, he never heard you sound as sad as you did at that moment.

“That’s it. Tell me where you are, I’m picking you up right now. I don’t care what this dick has done to you.”

“He did nothing but what he should have done.”

“Y/N, the address. Now.”

You are the dick, Conor. You are the reason why I’m crying. You sighed.

“I’m sending my location through Whatsapp.” You finally gave up.

You didn’t wait for Adam to finish his shower. You put your clothes back on and left the apartment without thinking twice.

You hated how you got after drinking too much. Following the alcohol’s euphoria, you always got sad and needy. Why you were crying? You would hold back your feelings for Conor, what you were crying about? Which reasons you had to tear apart like that?

It was cold outside and you started to tremble as you waited to Conor to arrive, being out of the building and feeling the wind in your arms.

“Y/N!” You heard him call you, spotting him a few cars away.

You walk there and entered his car. “Hey, Con.”

He hugged you. “What happened? Why are you crying? What the dickhead has done to you?”

“It wasn’t him, Conor. I swear to you, it wasn’t him.” Conor held you and believed in you. Your voice was so fragile that he wouldn’t dare not to. “Drive us home, Con.”

“I will sleep on the couch.” Conor said after laying you down on his bed. “You can call me anytime, for anything.”

You nodded and heard his steps leaving the room. “Con?” You called before he was too far away.

He almost ran to you. “What?”

“You can sleep in here, you know. I wouldn’t be the first time we share a bed.”

“I’m fine, Y/N.”

“No, Con. I mean I want you to sleep with me tonight. Please.”

He sighed and laid on the bed. You turned your back to him and he understood the sign to hold you close.

“I hated seeing you leave with that guy.”

“He didn’t do anything, Conor.” You guaranteed.

“I don’t care, Y/N. I hated it.”

“You were just jealous.” you teased, giggling a little, tired.

“Yes, I was,” he admitted, making you lose your breath and stop laughing.

“What?”

“Even my mom knew it before me, Y/N. I just looked at her and it was all written on my face. She knows, everybody knows.”

“What, Conor?” you asked again cautiously.

“That I love you. I always did, I always will.”

You gasped, trying to be reasonable. “It wasn’t always like this, you know. You had Victoria.”

“Yes.” He agreed. “I loved her, but I didn’t give a fuck about her when you spoke about her today. All I could think was that I didn’t want you to go home with that guy.”

Your heart was racing, you didn’t want to turn and look into his eyes because you knew that if you stared Conor, you would lose your mind.

“Conor, I guess you had too much to drink today.”

“Fuck off, Y/N, you know I’m sober and I know you love me too.”

Your eyes widened and you were glad he couldn’t see your face. “Wh-what?”

“This was the motive you went crazy tonight, right?”

“Conor…” you sighed. “You can’t do this to me.”

“Why? Why not?”

“Because you brought me to tears just for being sweet and bringing me home,” you confessed.

“So that’s why you were crying?” he stopped hugging you.

You nodded. “I love you so much, Con.”

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Look at me,” he asked.

“No.”

“Y/N…”

“I’m not looking at you, Conor.”

“Y/N, please.”

“No.”

“Why are you so difficult?”

You snapped. “Damn, Conor!” You screamed, realizing afterward you could have wakened up the rest of the Maynards. “Sorry.” you took a deep breath, facing the empty wall of his room. “Look, everything that’s passing through your mind already passed in mine.” You sighed. “I can’t handle seeing you right now because I know if I see you, I’ll be a few inches from your lips and I will kiss you. I know you, you want to kiss me too.”

“So let’s make out.”

“No, Con.” You told convicted. “Because if we kiss knowing our feelings for each other, there’s no turning back, it will be different than the other times.”

Conor realized you wouldn’t give up so he gave up and got closer again, holding you another time.

“Why are you avoiding us getting together? You don’t make any sense.”

“Because I thought in everything, Conor, and I can’t handle getting hurt again. If I was that hurt before, I can’t even think about how much I’ll be hurt by you.”

“But you won’t. I love you, I won’t hurt you.”

“We will hurt each other, Conor.” You said. “We aren’t ready, we are too young.”

“Don’t say that, Y/N.”

“I’m just finishing college, Con. I just began my first real job. We are so young, we have so many mistakes to make.”

“So let’s make them together.”

“Conor…”

He interrupted you. “Look at me, Y/N. Please. I’m serious.”

It was your turn to give up and you turned to him. You lost your breath, you forgot how beautiful were his eyes. “Here I am.”

“You broke my heart once. Victoria broke my heart. I know you’re fucked up and afraid, but so am I.” He held your head in between his hands. “If we don’t work things out now, we will break up and eventually we will get back together and everything will be fine. I know we will always bump into each other just like we did years ago, because someday we will meet and we will be exactly where we were meant to be. You know why? Because I know I love you and I know I love you even when I’m not loving you…” He gave a side look, thinking it through. “If that makes sense.”

“It doesn't.” you giggled.

“I know it doesn’t,” he admitted, taking a deep breath. “I know I loved you even when I was with someone else. That was what I meant.” He got closer as you opened a smile. “All I know is loving you and loving you is all I will ever know, so, please Y/N, just let me in.”

“Con…” your lips brushed his. “I’m scared,” you admitted whispering.

“I know,” he whispered back.

“Please, don’t break me,” you asked.

“I won’t.”

And finally, you kissed him.

[plussizeadventure]

Tagged by the amazing @killpop-jennafer!

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

1. coke or pepsi: coke, but I’m not picky

2. disney or dreamworks: Disney

3. coffee or tea: Coffee

4. books or movies: Books hardcore

5. windows or mac: Mac

6. dc or marvel: Marvel

7. x-box or playstation: Neither? I’m not a big console person.

8. dragon age or mass effect: No clue. I’m boring.

9. night owl or early riser: Early Riser

10. cards or chess: Cards

11. chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

12. vans or converse: I have several pairs of vans, so I’ll go with that.

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: If it tells you how much I don’t know what you’re talking about, I thought “OH Adar like the month of Purim?”

14. fluff or angst: Angst?

15. beach or forest: beach but like a quiet beach

16. dogs or cats: Cat s

17. clear skies or rain: Clear Skies - I like being outside.

18. cooking or eating out: eating out 

19. spicy food or mild food: mild, but I’ve been liking spicier things 

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Halloween

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: A little too cold. I HATE being too hot. For real.

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: Time Travel

23. animation or live action: Live Action usually

24. paragon or renegade: I feel really old with this survey.

25. baths or showers: Showers

26. team cap or team ironman: Iron Man

27. fantasy or sci-fi: Sci-fi

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they:

I have two:

There is only one admirable form of the imagination: the imagination that is so intense that it creates a new reality, that it makes things happen. - Sean O'Faolain

Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assaults of thought on the unthinking. -John Maynard Keynes

29. youtube or netflix: Netflix

30. harry potter or percy jackson: Harry Potter

31. when you feel accomplished: I get a high after I’ve given a talk. So we’ll say that.

32. star wars or star trek: Star Wars

33. paperback books or hardback books: Hardback

34. horror or rom-com: Rom-Com usually

35. tv shows or movies: TV Shows

36. favorite animal: Asian Elephants (yes the Asian part is important)

37. favorite genre of music: Rap - basically any kind. Fast, slow, raunchy, funny. I’m about it.

38. least favorite book: There was one book that I don’t even remember the title but it was about a woman planning a wedding, and it was the most stressful thing ever. I couldn’t get through it.

39. favourite season: Summer

40. song that’s currently stuck in your head: Dreamer by Imagine Dragons

41. what kind of pyjama’s do you wear: I have pj pants and tanks, but I usually just sleep in underwear. Clothes are overrated.

42. How many existential crises do you have on an average day: Um like 16? I’m an Academic. Imposter Syndrome is very real.

43. If you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be: Hmmmm I don’t know. I’m gonna have to think about this one. 

44. Favourite theme song to a TV show: oh goodness... Probably Chuck’s theme? It’s a Cake song.

45. Harry Potter movies or books: Books.

46. Favorite traditional food from your family: My family harkens from the midwest with very little other cultural influence, so I’d probably have to go with some form of casserole. :) Green bean casserole is my fave.

47. Favorite decade from 1900-now: 60s maybe?

48. A song that no matter the mood, it’ll make you smile? Uptown Funk

49. Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit? Lord of the Rings

50. Deadpool or Wolverine? Wolverine

My Question: What’s the strangest vehicle you’ve ever traveled in?

I’m not gonna tag anyone, but if you want to do this you should tag me! I’d love to see your answers. :-)

[its-me-theicequeen]

Conor was amazed how his brother was handling this. Yes, he was crying and yes, his breathing was getting faster and shallower for every minute, but his words came out with determination.

The chapter, Mental Case, is the very last chapter in the series Fear and Brotherhood, and it’s up a AO3 now.

[myhead-myuniverse]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: youtube - Fandom Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jack Maynard/Joe Sugg, Joeck Characters: Jack Maynard, Joe Sugg, Zoe Sugg, Alfie Deyes, Joes parents, Caspar Lee Additional Tags: Smut, Fluff, Anal Sex, First Time, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Angst with a Happy Ending, Meeting the Parents, homophobic parents Summary:

He learned to hate his mark. He hated it for the looks his parents gave him and the sad eyes people gave him when he lied to them. He watched his sister’s turning from a dark blue to a bright one, he watched it change shape over the years and he watched her find to love of her life while he tried to forget about his. He tried to forget its faded color and ignore the changing shapes. He never look at it now, ever.

Or

Joe gets a blue mark instead of a pink one and his parents are not happy with it so they taught him to hate it. One day he can't ignore it anymore, will he let his soulmate go away or will he go against his parents?

[peanutbuttercreamjelly]

Thunderstorms - Conor Maynard

Where Y/N is scared of thunderstorms and Conor comforts her

Wind was howling outside of their apartment as Conor and Y/N were laying in bed of their shared apartment. Y/N listened to the sound of the rain smashing against their windows, while Conor was breathing slowly and evenly next to her. He had draped and arm loosely around her waist, something that they had gotten used to doing when they shared a bed. It looked like he had already fallen asleep, but Y/N just couldn’t get rest. She liked to hear the sound of rain when she fell asleep, but she didn’t like storms. At all. There was no particular reason for it, she just became jumpy and agitated.

Just when she closed her eyes, a huge flash of lightning crossed the sky, illuminating their bedroom for a brief moment before it was dark again. Y/N counted down the seconds until she could hear the thunder. After about six seconds, thunder rumbled so loudly that it made her flinch.

“Baby?”, Conor groggily whispered.

“ ‘m fine”, Y/N whispered before she snuggled herself even deeper into the duvet. she didn’t like storms at all, but one thing she was absolutely terrified of were thunderstorms. She started to sob, but she hoped that the blanket would muffle her sounds so Conor wouldn’t hear them.

“Are you crying?”, Conor asked when he felt her shaking underneath the covers.

“No”, she said, but the sob that followed betrayed her immediately.

Conor reached over to turn on his lamp on the nightstand. As he looked at his girlfriend in the warm light that filled their bedroom now, he could see that a few tears covered her face and that her bottom lip quivered. He cupped her cheek in his hand and cleaned a few tears up with his thumbs.

“Oh baby”, he said and frowned, “what’s wrong?”

Y/N blushed but continued to cry, so Conor pulled her into him and stroked her back, hoping that she might calm down enough so she could finally tell him why she cried.

“It’s silly”, she whispered into his chest as her sobs began to die down.

Conor frowned even more at that.

“It’s not silly if it makes you cry”, he said and kissed the top of her head.

It was silent for a second, before another lightning flashed across the sky and thunder followed soon after. Y/N flinched and started to cry.

“Shh, ‘m here”, Conor cooed and kept rubbing circles on her back, “ ‘s going to be alright, baby.” His shirt started to become damp from her tears, but he couldn’t care less. His girl was upset and she wouldn’t tell him why. He hated it.

“ ‘m scared of thunderstorms”, Y/N finally mumbled, “it’s okay, you can laugh at me now.”

Conor just kept rubbing her back.

“Why should I laugh at you?”, he asked confused.

“ ‘cause it’s stupid”, Y/N said and tried to hide her face from him. Conor wasn’t having any of that, though. He gently turned her head so she had to look at him.

“Your so important to me”, Conor said and sighed, “so how could I think it’s stupid when you’re scared of something?”

Another thunder rumbled outside, making Y/N flinch again. Conor pulled her into him again and gently rocked her. When she had calmed down, Conor asked her if he could leave her alone for a minute.

“ ‘m going to be right back”, he said and made sure that she was covered in the duvet. Y/N, who had buried her head in the pillow now, heard him shuffling around for a bit, before he came back to her and gently stroked her cheek.

“C���mon, I’ve got something to show you.”

He helped her up and out of the bed, and Y/N followed him with a slightly confused expression.

“When I was younger and I was scared of something, my dad would always make me try it, so I could see that it wasn’t even that scary”, Conor explained, “so I thought maybe you might want to watch the thunderstorm with me?”

Y/N saw that he had set up a blanket on their fluffy carpet in front of their window front in their living room, and he had put all of their pillows from their sofa on it.

“I...”, Y/N started, feeling overwhelmed at how cute she thought Conor was being.

“You go and sit down and I’m going to get the duvet”, he said and rushed back to their bedroom, only to return with their comforter soon after.

Y/N sat on the blanket already, so Conor sat down behind her, stacking the pillows so he could lean onto them for support. Then he opened his legs for Y/N to sit between them, her back resting on his chest.

“Are you comfy?”, he asked her as he put his arms around her waist to hold her.

“Yes”, she said and let her head rest on his shoulder, “thank you.”

Rain hit the large windows in front of them, and they could hear the wind howling outside, but Y/N was rested comfy and warm against Conor. Eventually, another lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the sleeping city before them, but oddly, Y/N didn’t even flinch as the thunder rumbled. She knew she was safe as long as she had Conor, and it made her feel so happy that she started to smile.

“Thank you, Con”, she said and turned her head so she could see Conor’s face.

“You already said that”, he chuckled, “but you’re welcome.”

“ ‘m not only talking about setting this up”, Y/N said and squeezed his hand a little.

Conor smiled.

“I know, baby.”

REQUESTS

MASTERLIST

[maynardtrash]

Hurting 1.5~Jack Maynard

A/N: this is about jacks time after the breakup between him and (Y/N) bc yall want a jack pov and im down w it tbh btw full length fan fic will be up within the next week i think

Jack’s P.O.V.

     I sat on the couch, reflecting on what had just happened. I had never felt such a strange feeling in my entire life. I was both numb and bursting at the seams with so many different emotions. I mean, it was practically routine at this point. I take on some bird I find at the club, keep her around for a bit, move on, repeat. But something felt different. When I looked at her, I wasn’t just pretending to feel bad or regret it. My stomach sank. I felt sick. It was all a blur. Her running out just as fast as she came in, the girl on my lap mocking her, me kicking the girl out, and now I’m here. 

     I sat on the couch and I felt worse than being hungover with the flu. I hurt someone I didn’t even know I cared for. I felt the first tear roll down my face, and I fought it first. Not because I didn’t feel manly or whatever. I didn’t deserve to cry. I hurt her. I broke (Y/N)’s heart. I threw our relationship out of the window so she couldn’t do that to me, yet it feels just as bad. Then I decided to let them go since they were coming anyway because I was angry at myself. I was angry at myself for cheating on a genuine girl and ruining it for the both of us. I was angry for being upset when I made the choice. 

     That’s when she came back. For just a split second I had hope again. For a single moment, I thought she would forgive me. Then I truly realized how much of an idiot I was. She was packing. She was leaving for good. I was surprised but came to my wits. “Of course she’s leaving,” I thought to myself as she quietly stormed to the bedroom. “Why in god’s name would she immediately forgive the man who fucked up the most?” I watched as she walked out, left the apartment building one last time, then grab a cab. I began to tear my flat apart. I broke lamps. I ripped the couch. Dishes became fragments.

     I lay on the disheveled couch as her speech played over and over in my head. Everything she said was right. It was my choice to hurt her, and I need to reevaluate my life. I did that for a solid month and even longer without realizing it. It took me a month to sleep in my room anyway. I couldn’t sleep in it without thinking of her. But even sleeping on the couch couldn’t get me to let her go. She was always in my dreams. Whether it was remembering every detail of her face or just having her in the background, she was always there when I closed my eyes. There also wasn’t a moment when I was awake I didn’t think about her. I would go back to moments I was with her if I passed something we had done or somewhere we went to. I would hope to run into her somewhere, but it never happened.

     The lads had nothing to say at first. Not that they were lost with words, they had too much to say. They weren’t sure how to go about it until a week later when Conor sat me down and really laid it in me about how much I fucked it all up. I sat there listening, only to think the whole time about how this was stuff I already knew. I knew ever since I saw the tears form in her once bright and sparkling eyes I did something I would regret for the rest of my life. I felt like an empty shell for what felt like an eternity.

     Turns out it had only been a few months, but it didn’t feel like it. The boys were all going out, and I decided to go out in public to drown my sorrow instead of staying home and doing the same. We arrived at some club opening I couldn’t give less of a shit about and we got in instantly. The perks of having a C list sibling. I went straight for the bar and asked for their strongest drink. The guy just turned and went to work. “I’m gonna grab a table,” Conor yelled over the bumping music. I nodded as he pushed his way to the booths right outside of the dance floor. I grabbed the glass and opened my throat as I chugged the drink as fast as possible. It burned like hell and tasted like death. Perfect.

     I was about to ask for another when I fatefully turned to check on the booth to see if the boys joined or even if Mikey was trying and failing with a girl. That’s when I saw it. That’s when I saw her. She looked breath taking. She was wearing that dress I loved so much. Her hair was tossled and slightly knotted from dancing, but still looked perfect. Her skin glistened beautifully, even the lack of light. She stumbled into the booth, most likely accidentally. But I saw it as an opportunity. I saw the Fates on my side. I rushed to the table, and I was about to make sure not to make the same mistake as before. I wasn’t letting her go like before.

[maynardtrash]

Hurting~Jack Maynard

A/N: Sorry for the angst oopsie

I sat in the park, gripping my legs, trying to get a hold on reality. My knuckles had turned white, and my face was red from sobbing. The tears kept coming, the rage building up and tearing itself down. I didn’t know what to do, how to feel. The scene kept flashing in my head over and over. 

I had gone a business trip for work, but the seminar I had gone to ended earlier than expected. With this news, I had decided to surprise my boyfriend, Jack. I grabbed a taxi from the airport and went to the store where I picked up ingredients for Jack’s favorite meal. I ordered an Uber and balanced my suitcase, carry on, and groceries. The driver helped me put my stuff in and asked, “Why go grocery shopping before or after taking a trip?” 

“Surprising my boyfriend,” I told him. He smiled and nodded, clearly impressed.

“Lucky chap.” That rang in my ear like a siren call. That line made me feel sick. I wanted to turn and puke right into the garbage can next to me, but nothing came up. I just continued to stare at the concrete, fixated. I had no energy to move.

I exited the Uber, taking everything in hand. I walked into the familiar lobby and nodded towards the security. I pushed the button to the elevator to go to my home. I stepped in, went up, and walked towards our apartment. But, once I stepped into that apartment I’ve stepped into a million times, something felt off. Something felt out of place and cold. It didn’t feel like home anymore. That’s when I heard it. The squeaking. The moaning. My organs sank to my feet, my jaw dropped. Everything fell from my hands. The pipes in my eyes burst. I felt like I froze, but I also felt my legs swiftly move to the bedroom. I opened it to find my boyfriend, my everything, my home, on top of another woman. Ramming himself in some bimbo. 

I felt poison fill my mouth, my nose, my eyes, and my mind. I ran out, feeling numb. Jack was calling after me, but I didn’t hear it. Everything was muddled. I began to run once I made it outside. I ran as fast and as far as I could, which led me to the park I was at. It led me to this bench where I was contemplating my entire life. I began to look at all the decisions I made. I revisited my memories with Jack since day 1. My friend’s words swam through my head at a rapid pace. “You don’t meet your soulmate in a club, (Y/N),” she told me. “It just doesn’t happen like that.” I remember just rolling my eyes and telling her she was wrong.

I felt like a fool. I felt like an idiot. I trusted him with my most valuable possessions: my heart and soul. He knew I was hurt and broken from those in the past, but decided to do this. I refused to blame myself, but it didn’t stop the thoughts from coming in. “What could I have done differently?” 

“How could I have made him happier?”

“What was wrong with me?”

I then gathered the strength to get up and go back. I felt like an empty vessel. I had no energy. I walked back to the apartment to grab my things. I opened the door and saw Jack sitting on the couch, head in his hands. He was clearly crying, and I didn’t understand. He’s the one who hurt me. How does he have the right to be upset? “Why are you crying?” I asked him. He looked up and smiled. “(Y/N)!” he exclaimed like I was a present he had opened on Christmas. “I’m so happy you’re back. Listen, I am so sorry I did this and I-” I put my finger up to signal him to be silent. He obliged, and I just stared at him. “I’m here to grab my things,” I told him. “I’ll be staying with a friend for the mean time while I plan to go back home.”

“(Y/N), I’m-”

“No, Jack. Stop. I’m done. You cheated. You didn’t just accidentally flirt with some girl while you were drunk, or just maybe kiss her. You downright, flat out cheated. You deliberately put your vile dick in her. You hurt me so deeply to the point of no return. So no fighting. No debating this. I’m done. It’s over. You fucked up and you need to reflect on your life choices.”

 I went to his room, grabbed the belongings that weren’t tied to him in any way, packed them up, and left. I only turned my back to look him in the eyes as I placed my set of keys on the table next to the door. 

“Goodbye, Jack.”

“Goodbye, (Y/N).”

[maynardtrash]

Calm~Jack Maynard

A/N: This was requested. Sorry it took so long. Also sorry if it’s complete garbage.

It flashed through my mind over and over again. I couldn’t get it out of my head. There he was, my ex. All those awful images went through my head as I tried to sleep. “You’re fucking useless.” “You’re such a waste of space.” “You’re such an attention whore. I know you’re faking this.” I was reliving the nightmare the past year had been over and over again. He even haunted me when he was thought to be far away. 

As the images flashed by, I woke up and shot up. I was breathing heavily, trying to calm down. I began to shake uncontrollably, the room spinning. “Oh no,” I whispered. I held my head in my hands, trying to find zen. All the therapy felt like a waste of time and money. I felt like I was always going to carry the baggage he forced on me. That’s when I felt Jack wrap his arms around my arms and began to hold my hands. “Shhhh,” he said, trying to sooth me. “Just breathe. Breathe for me. Please.” I felt the tears running down my face. I felt guilty. Guilty he had to deal with my mountain of issues. Guilty he most likely felt trapped. This mess of a girl he had to take care of because he felt bad. 

As the thoughts raced through my head, I felt his weight shift, then his hands pick my face up and caress my cheeks. “Listen to me,” he commanded sternly. “You’re not some waste of space. You are not an attention whore. You are a lovely, incredible, intelligent, amazing, beautiful woman who deserves to love herself as much as I do. That bastard is nothing but scum of the earth, and I promise I will fix what he broke. Okay?” I began to breathe again as I looked into Jack’s beautiful eyes. I nodded slowly and he smiled in response. “Try to get some rest, okay?” 

“Okay,” I whispered in response. I turned to lay down on his lap as he began to play with my hair. As he held me in his arms, I began to calm down for once. I closed my eyes, and all of my problems melted away. I ended up getting to sleep for the first time in god knows how long.

[myhead-myuniverse]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: youtube - Fandom Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jack Maynard/Joe Sugg, Joeck Characters: Jack Maynard, Joe Sugg, Zoe Sugg, Alfie Deyes, Joes parents, Caspar Lee Additional Tags: Smut, Fluff, Anal Sex, First Time, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Angst with a Happy Ending, Meeting the Parents, homophobic parents Summary:

He learned to hate his mark. He hated it for the looks his parents gave him and the sad eyes people gave him when he lied to them. He watched his sister’s turning from a dark blue to a bright one, he watched it change shape over the years and he watched her find to love of her life while he tried to forget about his. He tried to forget its faded color and ignore the changing shapes. He never look at it now, ever.

Or

Joe gets a blue mark instead of a pink one and his parents are not happy with it so they taught him to hate it. One day he can't ignore it anymore, will he let his soulmate go away or will he go against his parents?

[maynardtrash]

Nerves~Jack Maynard Fanfiction Pt 4

     A/N: This will be the last installment of Nerves, but I’ll keep writing stuff. It’s just that this story was meant to be a one off but because it did so well I kept writing. I have nothing else to give to this story that I would be happy with. I’m currently brainstorming an actual full length fan fiction installment that will be way longer than this. This won’t have smut but instead will be p angsty so if you’re not into that soz. Anyway, I’m glad you guys have enjoyed it so much. Thank you for the support xx

     I slid to the floor, holding the stick in my hand. This can’t be real, can it? No, this is an awful nightmare. Positive. The test was positive, and I couldn’t be anything but scared. How will Jack react? What will the boys do? What will my friends think? What will my family say? I’m only 21. But how will Jack react? We’ve been dating for over a year at this point, but we weren’t ready. At least I knew I wasn’t, and I’m the responsible one in the relationship. How do I tell him? I was so sure I was okay. The birth control I took was supposed to be the best.      So many thoughts were racing through my head when I heard the door slam and the ruckus of the whole buttercream squad. “Shit!” I thought, quickly pulling myself together and trying my best to hide the pregnancy test. I briskly walked to the bedroom and hid the drugstore bag with my makeup stuff. He’ll just assume it was makeup, right? I applied and blended some concealer at a rapid pace to hide my red skin and puffy eyes. I then calmly walked into the living room to see the boys enjoying themselves. Enjoying life. I felt like crying again. How dare I take this away from him? How dare I take his 20′s away from him and force him into some loveless, unhappy marriage? I felt sick.

     I was so deep in thought I didn’t even notice the boys talking to me. “Y/N?” Jack asked, concern written across his face. “Are you alright?” I quickly nodded and gave a tight smile in return. “Yeah, yeah I’m alright,” I reassured him. “Just thinking about some stuff I need to pick up at the store.” He smiled and blew me a kiss as he continued the usual banter with his friends. I went back to our room and began to pace and think. I need to leave. But where do I go? Back home? So my mother can have my head on a silver platter? So she can say she was right about Jack being “no good and a waste”? What about Y/B/F? But do I wanna put that burden on her too? Hiding me? No. I decided to find the cheapest yet nicest place I could snag in such short notice.

     I decided to move to the town near the one I grew up in. It was a good area, plus it was in the school district I went to as a kid. I loved my old school so I would hope my unborn child would like it too. I found a small town house that was in my price range and put a bid on it. A few days later I got a notification from the owners, saying they were willing to sell. They wanted to meet with me the next week, and I accepted. I then devised my plan to sneak out and plan what to say to Jack in a letter to give some bullshit explanation without ruining his life too much. I packed my things, packed my car, then drove off and didn’t look back.

                                                 *Three Years Later*

     “Do you have the baby bag?” I asked my mother as we prepared to take Natalie to the park.

     “I have everything, don’t you worry your pretty little head,” she replied. I gathered my daughter and her essential toys as we headed out the door. I held Natalie in my hands, looking at her as she looked at the world with her curious eyes. I could never get over the look she had whenever we went places. I also couldn’t get over how much she looked like Jack. She had a the Maynard nose and his eyes. She was absolutely breath taking, but it broke my heart that when I looked at her I thought of him. 

     I always wondered what he would think of her. I always wondered what he would be like as a father. I always wondered what it would be like if I had just stayed. Would it have worked? Would it have lasted? Were we in love or lust? I constantly wondered that. I was almost always tempted to just go back, take Nat, and bring our family together. Then I would think of the reasons I left and it would bring me back to earth. I left for him, for her. That’s what I would tell myself. That’s how I lived with my decision. As if my mom could read my mind, she just smiled and shook her head. “She looks just like him,” she said, breaking the silence. 

     “I know,” I replied.

     “He would’ve made a great father.”

     “You hated him, especially after I got pregnant with Nat.”

     “It’s tradition. My mother didn’t like you father, my grandmother didn’t like your grandfather. So on and so forth.” We sat in silence for the most of the ride. As Natalie got older, I felt more and more selfish. I felt I was hiding her from Jack and vice versa. But, at this point, I didn’t know how to go back to him and say, “Hey-a Jack! Remember me? The girl that left you high and dry? Yeah well I did that because I got pregnant! Surprise here’s your daughter!” 

     We got to the park and as I began to take Nat out of her car seat and pick her up, she began to protest. “NO!” She argued. “Walk! Wanna walk!” I let her down as she began to waddle her little body towards the playground. My mother followed her as I began to grab the bags of toys my daughter so profusely insisted on having. As I walked to meet up with my family, I heard a familiar voice say, “So that’s why you left.” I turned my head to see Conor standing behind me. I dropped the bags, crossed my arms, and looked at Natalie. “Yeah,” I said, looking at my feet. 

     “Does he know?” he asked.

     “No.”

     “And why not?”

     “Because I didn’t want to ruin his life.”

     “You know he still misses you? And he would probably especially miss you and your daughter.”

     “Natalie. Her name is Natalie.”

     “Natalie Y/L/N?”

     “Maynard. Natalie Maynard. I took her away from him. Might as well have his last name.”

     “Listen, my whole job was to find you. It wasn’t that hard, but it also wasn’t a piece of cake. You were fairly hidden.”

     “Well are you gonna tell Jack?”

     “Do you want me to tell Jack?”

     “I feel like he has the right to know.” Conor then took out his phone and began to make a call. “Hey man... Yeah she’s here... I’ll send you the location... I’ll see you soon then... Bye. He’ll be here soon.” After a 15 minute wait, a black Subaru pulled up. Jack climbed out and stared at me. His face was blank, but I could tell what he was feeling. It was an array of emotions, and he was mostly hurt. I felt my eyes well up with tears when I saw him. He was still so beautiful.         He walked over and stood next to Conor. There was a solid minute of awkward silence when I heard Natalie scream for me. “Mommy!” she yelled with excitement. “Come play!” Jack looked at me with bewilderment, then realization slapped him across the face. “Is she-?” he began to ask. I nodded. “Would you like to meet her?” I asked. He nodded in response and I took him over to her. As I led him over, Natalie ran to me and grabbed my hand. She got nervous around strangers. “Natalie, sweetie, it’s okay,” I comforted her, rubbing her small hand. “This is your daddy.” She tilted her head as she began to study him. He bent down to her level and stared back. “Hello, Natalie,” he greeted her warmly.

     She smiled and stepped forward. She grabbed her favorite doll and handed it to him as a peace offering and began to play with him. He began to ask questions about her, about things he’s missed. We began to talk about our lives in general as well. He talked about how he tried to move on, but no matter who he was with, it wasn’t me. I had mutual experiences and shared those with him. “Would you like to go out tonight? Discuss Natalie’s future? Our future?” he asked.

     “There’s nothing more I would ever hope for,” I said.