#jared kleinman headcannons

[th3-living-death]

Few random connor murphy headcannons

Tried to make it as gender neutral as possible!!

Warnings: there are a few smutty ones. Probably a few spelling and or grammar mistakes.  Connor being an idiot inlove. Mentions of drugs and suicide. 

-Connor isn't the kind for nicknames. I mean sure he calls you babe or stuff like that. But nothing to lovey dovey like sweetie or darling unless he's joking. 

-Lots of nicknames like nerd, idiot, brat, bitch, naggy. Stuff like that. 

-He'll never admit it. But he likes to be the little spoon sometimes. He likes to be held and be told everything will be ok. 

-but when he's the big spoon he traces his hand up and down your hip 

-you helped him alot with his mental health. He calls you when he needs support and is so glad your his. 

-lets just say you were dating him during the plot of the story right? After Connors suicide you'd get really close to Evan and Jared and they'd feel so bad-

-eventually when they tell you, you stop talking to them for around a year before you eventually try to forgive them.  

-he loves when you play with his hair. Finds it oddly comforting. 

-you two get high together.

-you have a picture of him that use as black mail. It's of him with a bunch of rainbow coloured clips in his hair and makeup on. 

-he hates it. 

-ofcourse you would never release it. You just use it when you need a little leverage.

-Jared flirts with you alot to annoy Connor. Cuz he gets jealous quite easy. 

-adores you in his clothes. Because he's quite tall his clothes are quite big on you and he loves you for it. 

-he definitely teases you because your short compared to him. 

-but for my taller people. He still teases you calls you a giraffe. 

-if your a theatre kid (like me) he loves watching you preform. He gets jealous if you have a love story with another person though.  

!!Nsfw stuffs bellow here!!

-massive tease. You can be in the the middle of class and you'll feel his hand running up your thigh slowly inching towards your crotch. 

-loves post sex cuddles. 

-likes to be dominate. 

-giving him head when he's stoned 🙏

-kinky mother fucker. 

-loves when you pull his hair. Urges him to continue. 

-I don't think he whimpers. I think he groans and mumbles swears.

-loves biting you and marking you up. Thinks it's hot. 

-consent is so important to him. If you don't give him explicit worded consent, he doesn't do anything. It's always "words babe", "c'mon use your words", "need you to speak up hon"

And that's it! Thank you so much for reading!! <33

[24-7fandombrain]

Kleinphy headcanons because I swear to GOD these two need more content:

TW for (underage) drug use and sex, suicide and self-harm

They met because Jared and Connor happened to share the same place at the school they would smoke at. Connor walked in on Jared getting stoned one day. The two of them just stared at each for a moment, then Jared held his blunt out to Connor and was like, "Want a hit?" and they've been friends ever since

Their relationship started as just the two of them getting high together, but then one of them kissed the other and it turned sexual

They never put a label on their relationship. Friends with benefits? Fuck buddies? Boyfriends? Neither of them really knew

Connor got a burner to text Jared because he didn't want his parents (and especially his dad) finding out that he was gay

Zoe walked in on them once, but she never really saw who Connor was with (she would later assume that it was Evan)

They would drive up to nearby cliffs together when they wanted to get away from life

They'd make plans about leaving the city together after they graduated and getting up to shit

Connor was more of the "settle down and start a family" type than Jared, but he would never admit to it. The one thing Connor wanted more than anything was to buy a house with Jared

Jared was the only person who could calm down an angry Connor. (He did it by telling Connor he was really hot when he was angry)

Codependency issues

They made each other worse, and they both knew it. They didn't really care, though, because it felt too good

They would kiss each other's self-harm scars, but would never really tell each other to stop. Whenever they'd try, it would be like, "You really need to stop doing this." "You first." and the conversation would be over

They have called each other while crying more time than they can count. It became just a regular thing for them

Jared became really good at first aid from helping patch up Connor's injuries. He never asked where they came from, and he was never told

Jared's house was empty a lot of the time, so Connor would just text him, "I'm coming over," or just show up unannounced

They both learned how to climb up buildings and through windows over time. Especially Jared

There was only one picture of the two of them together. They'd swap who had it every now and then

They didn't really fight. They'd argue sometimes, and things would get heated, but Jared was really good at de-escalting the fight by just cracking some dumb joke

The one real fight they got into (over Jared being careless and the two of them almost being caught) was just days before Connor's suicide. Jared never forgave himself for it

Jared was the first person to find Connor's body. He didn't say anything because he thought that, even in death, Connor wouldn't have wanted his parents to know

Jared also took the picture from Connor's room so that his parents wouldn't find it

He also had to pretend, for the next three days, like nothing had happened

Jared originally helped Evan write the emails because he wanted to feel close to Connor again. He'd pretend like the emails were between him and Connor sometimes, instead of Evan and Connor

Jared hated the apple orchard being restored, but had to bite his tongue. Connor would tell him all the time that he was going to burn the orchard to the ground once he left

Jared never told anyone about him knowing Connor, even after Evan admitted to lying

Zoe eventually figured it out, but she never confronted Jared

[biscuitbakerbecca]

Jared Kleinman for the character asks :)

Favorite Thing About Them

Jared is so bad at communicating he reminds me a lot of myself. I have ODD so it’s a little different, but the man is an asshole in the best way possible. He is petty and gives off angry cat energy in both fandom aspects and canon. Also I appreciate that he never acted against Evan even when he had the opportunity and reason to do so, he threatened it but he kept his mouth shut. Real friend right there <3 (I could tell everyone everything! Okay great! You go ahead! Do that! Tell everyone how you helped write emails pretending to be a kid who killed himself! Fuck you Evan!)

Least Favorite Thing About Them

He doesn’t have enough screen time/show time. People mischaracterize him because his entire character is shoved into as little time as possible. I know I just said that I love how he’s an asshole but he’s more than an asshole. He’s so clearly lonely and more than just an angry kid. At least in the book they made him “hot” in the end but the show and movie pretty much get rid of him come act two

Favorite Line

Kinky!

Just kidding

Asshole!

Okay okay for real this time

Yeah I hate to tell you this Evan, but you may have already perjured yourself.

Isn’t that only when you’re under oath? Like in a courtroom?

Well weren’t you under oath? In a way?

No.

Or from the movie (since I view them as different canons)

Connor took a letter from me. It was an assignment for my therapist.

Ew.

(I’d offer a different line but Jared doesn’t have that many)

BROTP

Jared and Zoe friendship!!! They hate each other they’re best friends they get drunk and cry together!!

Another excerpt of my own writing that explains this. Again my writing quality has gone up since this but oh well:

Connor rolled his eyes, "I'm saying that Evan will always be there, okay? You are so fucking stubborn, and I'm trying to be nice and make you feel better, just say thank you like a decent human being."

"You just made me feel shitty."

Connor threw his hands up, "Fuck! You're impossible!"

Zoe's voice screeched from below, "FUCK OFF! HE IS MY BEST FRIEND!"

— I don’t know what I want, but I need you. Chapter 12

OTP

Either kleinsen or kleinphy. They both have potential. All my kleinsen fics are really fluffy (soulmates, hurt/comfort, etc) and my kleinphy fics are like…rough and angsty (teen parenthood, child abuse, etc) I like both equally, but what I want to read depends on the content I’m looking for as shown by my own writing style

NOTP

Nothing icky like the parents being involved obviously, otherwise Jared/Zoe fics just don’t feel right. Jared is gay. Like he has to be. The book tried telling me he liked boobs and I know Val Emmich lied. Evan was simping at the end for a reason. Jared doesn’t even have to like Evan the man is still gay. Best part of the movie but dear god at what cost? (I did like the movie I swear)

Random Headcannon

Jared has two moms, or his mother is bisexual. I tried writing him with straight parents and every single time it feels kind of wrong

Also he has a cat. Her name is Mayonnaise. Mayo for short.

Unpopular Opinion

Idk if this is unpopular or not but I’m glad they cut Goin’ Viral. It only pushes the he’s an asshole idea and even though I love the song it wouldn’t have helped his characterization. I would have liked for them to properly record the song when they released the deluxe album but apparently Disappear Pt. 2: the duet version was more important.

Also Jared Goldsmith was my favorite Jared actor other than Will Roland. Nothing can beat the Will Roland vibes

Book Jared shouldn’t have ditched his glasses and got buff, they made him too powerful. Evan couldn’t help but fall for him. Let him stay as he is don’t make him conventionally attractive!

Song I Associate With Them

Jared is such a complicated guy. His feelings are deep. He’s cringy but free. I haven’t thought about this in a while hang on…

I imagine that Jared is a pop girlie and this gives the desperate for attention vibes that I usually associate with him

And as for his inherently cringey vibes that I usually give him…

I’m not sorry

Favorite Picture Of Them

Again, we have options…

[soursaiki]

Hot Water

Pairing: Connor Murphy x Reader

Requested: nope

A/N: Oof sorry I haven’t uploaded a fic in a while I’ve been super busy with marching band

Warnings: smut ;)

-

Okay so Jared has a birthday party at his house and invites everyone

It includes swimming in his pond in his back yard (including a slide and swing)

You and Connor decide to carpool since you live close

And Connor is THRILLED bcuz he likes u

On the way there, you two sing along to nirvana while he puts his hand on ur thigh while he drives ;)

“Pull over” you state blankly. “Why?” “Just do it”

He’s confused but he does what he’s told and pulls the car over to the side of the road

“What?” You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to him and smash your lips into his

He smirks into the kiss and pulls you closer to him

You tangle your fingers into his hair as he sucks on your bottom lip

Your hands travel down his body to his stomach and under his shirt

He starts to move to your neck but your phone alarm cuts you guys off

You scramble to find it and turn it off

“We should uh..get going again.” He speaks up

You nod and buckle your seatbelt back up

When you guys arrive at Jared’s house,

Jared’s older sister opened the door

“If you’re here for the party, they’re all down by the pond”

You two walk hand in hand through Jared’s big back yard

You heard screaming and laughing

“Y/N! Connor!” Jared screams from the top of the slide

You grin and take your shirt and shorts off, showing your bathing suit

You meet Jared on the top of the slide and push him off

Later, Connor swims up to you

“Hey Connor” he grabs your hand and moves it to his crotch underwater

You get the idea and palm him through his shorts

He whines as you stick your hand down his shorts and grab his dick

You give him a quickie and start to pleasure your own self

He swats your hand away and shoves his hand into your bottoms and starts rubbing you

He sticks a finger inside you and starts fingering you

Both of you are hot messes, trying not to draw attention to the two of you

He finishes you off

You want to scream but you can’t

“Let’s go inside for pizza!” Jared shouts

You grab his ass then go back inside for pizza

Masterlist

[burritonon]

Can we have Theatre kid!Jared headcanons?

Jared is that obnoxious kid.

You know that kid

Usually constantly singing

‘I’m better because I have a solo.’ ‘Jared you’re ensemble member three.’ ‘Which is five places about you Steve.’

Hes actually pretty good

Not spectacular but decent

He doesn’t sound like hes screaming when hes trying to sing

Outside the theater though you would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard

Is also obsessed with Cats

The musical

Secretly loves Newsies

Not so secretly when someone blasts seize the day before a show while warming up

He falls and trips over the steps

Hes a horrible dancer

So hes never cast as a main part in musicals

But the man can act amazing

Literally all the emotions he could never do in life, bleed out on stage.

Senior year he was an understudy for Sebastian in Little Mermaid.

Otherwise he played the chef

He broke the set on the second to last performance

He tripped over his ‘stove’ and fell into it

Everyone thought it was hilarious

Jared knew that he had to do comedy somehow, someway.

[misguidedswagger]

How You and Connor Met & Started Dating [Headcannons]

a/n: hi! i know its been a while since i’ve posted but i’ve been super busy! this has been in the drafts in a while, but i’ve finally had the time to finish it! and yes, ik, shut up obviously this isn’t connor, but just pretend it is. enjoy the headcannons! sorry for the shitty ending lmao

You were a transfer student to Connor's school, as your parents had just gotten new jobs in the area your senior year.

You were in the main entrance, trying to find your way to your homeroom

You were staring at the paper in your hands when you heard an annoying voice say something really rude to someone else, whether it was a joke or not "Very school shooter chic, Connor."

You flew forward before you even realized, "You're an asshole! You don't just say things like that to people!" The boy with the long hair opened his mouth to say something, but you spoke before he could.

"Woah, who's the new kid?" The asshole replied, looking you up and down, "You another freak too? Lovely." He said before walking away

You turned back to the boy you had defended, but he had shrunken into himself. "Hey, are you-"

He flicked his head up to you and yelled at you, “I don’t need saving!” 

And with that, he stormed off, leaving you alone

You were caught off guard, but weren’t too upset. He had a point, he never asked you to step in 

You were only trying to be nice.

Eventually, you found your way to homeroom

You walked up to the teacher and let him know you were the new student

He sat you all the way in the back

Next to Connor

You sat in the seat and began pulling out all your supplies needed for class

Class was pretty uneventful, but you tried your best to pay attention, it was your first day, after all.

In the middle of the lesson, you felt something hit you.

You looked down the piece of paper that had hit you and you looked in the direction it came from, seeing Connor staring out the window

You opened the paper ball and smiled softly at it,

“Thanks.”

You took a pen of a different ink color and wrote a response before you threw it behind you

You didn’t look at Connor, but you could hear the crinkling of the paper 

Before it could make its way back to you, the bell rang. You packed up your belongings before standing up and turning around to face Connor who was awkwardly standing there with the paper ball

“How do you know my name? Did you learn it just to see me freak out? Just so you can see Connor Murphy go crazy? Just like everyone else?” He demanded, moving frantically.

You shook your head and held your hands up defensively, “No, no. I heard that jerk use it early, You don’t have to worry about though. I just want to be friends, I promise.”

He hesitated before a scowl rested on his face, “Liar.” He walked out of the class before you chased after him and grabbed his sleeve

He stopped and looked down at you in surprise, “You’re still following me? Why?”

“Because I want to be friends, Connor! How can I convince you I’m telling you the truth?

He grimaced at you before glancing away for a moment, “What’s your name?”

“Well, my name is Y/n, but you can-”

“Your new name is dork. Where’s your next class, dork?”

He took your schedule and looked over it

“Cool. I have this next class too. Wanna walk together?”

You nodded gratefully, smiling. “I would love that.”

You could’ve sworn he had a small smile on his face before he wiped his mouth and it was gone

Connor had walked with you to your next class and made sure to sit next to you and distract you the whole period with drama about everyone, and who they were. 

“The asshole from earlier was Jared Kleinman. Truly a dickhead if I’ve ever seen one.”

“I agree. I’m so sorry about earlier. You don’t deserve that.” You placed a comforting hand on Connor’s and his hand darted away from yours. He averted his gaze and you retracted your hand

After a moment of quiet, “Is it always like this for you?

You were a little nervous for the answer 

“Yeah.” 

You had never felt so awful for another person in your life.

“Connor, I-”

“What is this about for you? Why are you being nice to me? You have no reason to be. It’s probably because I’m just the weird-”

You obviously weren’t getting through to him, and that wasn’t his fault. This boy was so damaged and it seemed he’d never been treated well

You did the first thing you could think of and you grabbed his hand and held it with both of your hands, causing him to stop speaking halfway through his sentence 

He stopped speaking and accepted your touch, not knowing how else to react, 

You stayed like that the rest of class, no more words being exchanging, only your touch on one another.

The bell had eventually rung and you two had let go to put away your things 

Connor had waited for you, his hands by his sides as watched put your stuff away

You stood up and shyly held out your pinky for him to hook his onto

He shyly accepted and the two of you walked to your next class

You were so grateful to have the same schedule as Connor

You had two more classes before lunch, but after them, you happily pulled the tall boy with you to a table in the corner 

You placed your stuff down and grabbed his hand once again, taking him in line with you

He kept his eyes on your hands, hyper focusing on that, pretending he didn’t hear the whispers about him and you. 

You heard the whispers, but ignored them. You got your food after a while before turning to Connor, “Don’t listen to those assholes. They don’t know how sweet or awesome you are.” 

He offered a smile before looking down sadly and sitting in his designated spot across from you

“No, they’re right. You shouldn’t be hanging out with me, I’m a fucking freak.” 

You grabbed his hand and held it tightly, “You are not a freak, Connor. Please trust me when I tell you that.” You frowned 

He gave you a look, his eyes were sad and yet he had a small smile on his face, “Thank you, Y/n.” 

“Thought my new name was dork, Con?” 

“Oh? Already moving to a nickname for me, dork?” He teased, causing you to roll your eyes and smile 

For the entirety of lunch, the two of you got to know each other. Connor told you about the bullying and how bad it could get, and you listened attentively. 

You squeezed his hand tight, “You are never alone, Con. Promise. I’m always here for you.” You swore, causing him to squeeze your hand tightly

Weeks later

You and Connor had become inseparable or the last few weeks, telling each other everything, always hanging out outside of school 

The Murphy’s loved you, trying to have you over as much as possible

Though, sometimes it got a little overwhelming, so you and Connor would duck into his room, or back to your house

Your family loved Connor too, they wanted him over as much as possible.

Connor had told you and your family about how bad it could get over there sometimes, so your doors were always open to him 

One day though, you weren’t feeling too great because of allergies, so you decided to stay home for the day. 

You shot your best friend a text, ‘not feelin’ the best. staying home td. don’t miss me 2 much lol’

Connor didn’t answer, but you were pretty sure he saw the message. 

An hour or so later, there was a sharp rap on the door and you ran to it, looking out the peephole

A jittery Connor stood outside the door and you swung it open, he flew into your arms almost knocking you over

You stumbled but gained your composure, rubbing his back as you held him as close as you could 

“Woah, hey, what happened?” You asked the boy

He said nothing but pulled a folded up piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to you

You unfolded it and read it quickly, gasping in surprise at the fact that the letter stated how much Evan Hansen liked Zoe Murphy, Connor’s sister.

“He just printed it out to see me freak out. He just wanted to have an excuse to tell the world CONNOR MURPHY IS A FUCKING FREAK!” 

You shook your head and held his face gently in your hands, causing him to freeze and look down at you “What are you-”

“Hey, I’ve got you. Listen to me, Con, I’m sure that wasn’t what he was trying to do. Had he been trying to talk to you while you were in there?”

He went silent for a moment, “I-well, no, but--”

You gave him a look saying, “See?”

He sighed heavily and buried his face in your neck, 

“I was so scared, Y/n. I was going to do something awful.”

Your face paled and your heart rate sped up

He was getting better. You knew it.

But, this was a step in the right direction.

He trusted you enough to confide in you, so he did

“Connor...What were you going to do?”

And immediately after you asked, the tall boy crumpled into your arms, causing you to frown deeply and lead the two of you towards the couch

Connor told you explicitly how he planned to wait until his whole family was out to attempt, and you couldn’t help the tears that began to spill from your eyes. 

“Con, no...” You sniffed and held him close

At first he didn’t reciprocate like normal 

Of course he was wary of anyone’s touch, other than yours

But this felt different somehow

It felt like there was more weight to it. 

Connor nervously wrapped his arms around you and finally returned the hug

“Connor, you mean the world to me, I can’t lose you, especially when I’ve only known you for such a short time. I can’t lose you ever.”

The words rung around Connor’s head like a bell and he couldn’t stop himself from acting on his impulses

He pulled you from his shoulder and cupped your face, kissing you deeply. 

Shocked, you kissed him back, your arms flying around his neck

He suddenly pulled away after a few minutes, a look of concern welded on his face, “I’m so sorry, Y/n. Fuck! You probablly think I’m some fucking weirdo creep, just like-”

You laid a hand on his cheek and his little ramble ceased, 

“What I actually think, is that it’s about time.” 

Taglist:

@deatheater25  @lunamadhatter99 @shenevertricks1831 @frogssincorner

[problematicc-favs]

thigh riding with jared; headcannons

nsfw work again but what did you expect?

-f u c k he loves it when you ride his thigh

-like it is the sexiest shit to him oh my god

-it’s started off this one time when you two were playing video games

-as most kinky things always do, if you’re pickin’ up what I’m throwing down

-*cough* spanking and orgasm denial

-but that’s not what this hc list is about rn okayp

-ANYWHO, you’re sitting on his lap, both of you facing the tv -you two have kinda been teasing each other the whole time

-you’re losing the game, so you start frustratingly moving yourself around 

 -and Jared kinda rolls his eyes 

 -you lose again and you’re like !!!!! NOT FAIR

 -but then you realize ooOoOo if you casually move your body so you’re lowkey straddling his leg, you can fuck with him

 -so you pretend that you’re just trying to readjust to get more comfortable

 -you start the game again, and in the middle of the round and you start grinding into his leg just a teeny bit

 -jared doesn't really get what's going on before

-he’s super focused on beating the shit out of you in this game

-so you decide subtle isn’t going to cut it

-you start to move your hips more, only half-focused on the game

-and you’re like,, f u c k this feels good

-jared goes

- ‘babe stop moving’

-you don’t answer, but you do put your controller down, completely abandoning the game

-he starts to get confused, and he kinda glances down at your body

-and he sees you moving and thinks like 

 are they doing what I think they’re doing?

-you know he’s looking at you and you’re lowkey smirking but he can’t see that 

-you moan really quietly and now jared fully realizes that you’re fucking dry humping his leg

‘are you fucking kidding me, y/n?’

-at this point he’s now  frantically glancing back and forth between you and the screen, trying to figure out which one he wants to focus on

-but then you moan his name

-and he tosses his controller to the side in like .2 seconds

-and puts his hands on your hips and kinda pushes you down harder against him

-‘fuck, jared’

‘i can’t believe you’

‘fuck off’

-despite him trying to act like you were being annoying, you could tell he was into it because you could feel him pushing and pulling your hips 

-you start to pick up the pace at which you’re moving

- ‘you look so pretty like this, baby. fuck.’

-and you become like a whimpering, moaning mess

-he starts to kiss the side of your neck

-and his hands are gripping your thighs s o  h a r d 

-‘are you gonna come for me, baby?’

- you moan ‘yes’ super quietly 

-‘louder. i can’t hear you.’

‘yes, fuck, i-i’m gonna cum.’

-he starts sucking hickeys wherever your skin is exposed

-and you c u m  h a r d

-after that whole experience it becomes quite a regular thing

-like you’ll come over and he’ll just pull you onto his lap and start moving you against thigh

-he thinks you look insanely sexy, just moaning his name and getting off like that

-and you’re obviously not complaining

-alrighty

-i’m finnnnnished

[astrochemstry]

Jared with a reader who is a writer:

Im trying to cope with school guys this is gonna be a lot tbh maybe i should make a blog for this guy idk

Can be interpreted as platonic or romantic

Gender neutral reader

Inspired by this post (x)

Good luck bro

Seriously this guy is gonna make it h ELL

He found out you write bcs maybe you have this special notebook for it

Or like youre on the phone and have a specific app or its just that youre typing for too long

And he took it

Forgive him hes an asshole

Thought it was a diary at first tbh

“Dear diary- wait what?? This happened to them???”

Uh you found out and ofc youre mad bcs bruh thats my privacy

Also HC hes a fast reader

Read almost everything youve wrote and is

IMPRESSED AS HELL

But ofc he wont just admit that right there i mean

*Jared voice* who does that???

couGh anyways maybe you ignore him and stuff

Or act coldly bcs of that

And hes trying to figure out how to apologize

Evan knows abt the situation and is trying to help

Evan: why would you take their stuff in the first place??

Jared: I don't know maybe they don't wanna talk anymore i shouldnt try-

Connor, from what i could get from the Wiki and the book, is a decent listener

AND THAT COUNTS FOR GOSSIP TOO

Connor: Just get up and talk to them. They want you to.

Jared is surprised actually bcs wow THE Connor Murphy just gave him advice

“Uh- thanks. Ill.. Ill try.” “Don't mention it.”

And for Jared, for some reason he just wanted to say this: “Uh, sorry about the.. The school shooter- uh, chic comment.” then he runs away lmao

Connor yells back “Good practice but you’re a coward”

I feel like i just made a mini fic rn oh shit im getting off track anyways uH

HE APOLOGIZES

WELL NOT DIRECTLY

He sits down with you and as youre about to get up and leave he just goes

“You know, maybe you can add some buff guy into that story of yours since it could fit the theme.”

He Starts giving you ideas lmao

In the middle of it he mumbles a “sorry.” and looks down bcs aw shit aw shiit

Forgive him immediately or tease him a bit your choice

Also if youre a fanfiction writer Hes gonna make jokes

“Soo, you just write fanfiction for people?” “yeah.” “and yourself?” “yep.” “So you’re like a Modern day Edgar Allan Poe?” “He didnt write fanfiction?” “But he wrote to escape reality-”

he requests stuff but its crack lmao

"Hey can you make me a fanfic where Dumbledore and Snape didnt die"

Overall, supportive bro- just cant express it well

[3mbryz]

OKAY SO IM JUST SITTING HERE IN MY ROOM AND I AM THINKING ABOUT MY JARED HEADCANNON. YKNOW THE ONE ABOUT HIM WEARING SKIRTS AND DRESSES??

OKAY WELL HEAR ME OUT HERE DEH NATION

JARED KLEINMAN IN THE STRAWBERRY DRESS

[beccathebiscuitbaker]

DEH Headcanons

Alana has breakdowns when she doesn't do well on a test

Jared and Evan refer to the other's mom as "Ms. Heidi" and vise versa

Zoe can play the drums, and she uses them to vent out her anger

Connor cannot play the drums but he can make the "buh dum tssss" sound with them

Larry was emotionally abused as a child and is in denial about it, he only views it as tough love.

Heidi was a teen mom and kicked out when her family learned of her pregnancy

Cynthia has OCD, but it isn't diagnosed

Jared watches bad movies to spite people

Evan can recite the first twenty numbers of pi without mistake

Alana is lactose intolerant, but she loves cheese, when she found dairy free ice cream she cried happy tears

Larry is NOT homophobic

Zoe used to want to be a cheerleader, she still does small pom moves when she's home alone

Jared lives for conspiracy theories and takes everything Game Theory says as canon unless proven otherwise

Connor had a nightcore phase

Jared either has two moms, or his mother is bi

Heidi will pick you up if you're drunk, she doesn't care about context, she will come get you and make sure you are safe

Cynthia experimented in college, but she's straight

Zoe has fifteen different scents of hand sanitizer she bought and carries all of them on her backpack, if something smells nice it's probably her.

Evan doesn't like chocolate, but he loves strawberry

[unbridled-clownery]

1 am Musical Thoughts (headcannons really)

Ok so, I've seen a lot of fics where even has a little sister or some distant half sibling. (Not that many but who cares.) And I'm pretty sure you tumblr beings have seen my own Evan-has-a-sister fic (part of it anyway).

So, can we take a moment to see Evan as am older brother? By like, a year?

- He'd be such a different person around his sister, it would shock even Jared

- Evan's sister being the first person he came out to as bi

- him freaking out for no reason because "I literally blast girls in red you idiot"

- him and his sister would just sit in one of their rooms and talk about guys. And girls.

- Evan meeting connor and his sister teasing him about being Murphy-sexual (but not being an ass about it)

- Evan never stuttering around his sister

- his sister pairing up with Zoe to play matchmaker with Connor and Evan

- the sister has anxiety too, so them just taking mental health days together

- pillow fights and prank wars when they were younger

- connor being surprised how evan and his sister interact

- that leading connor to try and make up with Zoe

- Evan's sister standing up for him when Jared is being too douchey

- his sister punching Jared in the face one day because he went to far

- Evan just having this wholesome and amazing sibling relationship, even if they fight

- Evan having a sister

[generallyclumsy]

nice to see you back! Could I get some Jared x male reader if you're up to it?

I I’m just going to drop some quick fluffy headcannons - hope that’s cool :). I hope you didn’t want something more specific than this.

I’m a little rusty so we’ll see how this goes.

You guys met doing a group project together, and you 100% expected to have to do all of the work but he surprised you and was super excited to schedule times to meet up and work

(Which was totally because he’d had the hugest crush on you forever)

You had always assumed Jared was straight because he was always bragging about girls.

After the group project, you guys started texting and DMing each other memes and song recommendations until he eventually told you he liked you (probably with some SUPER outdated meme like Pepe or something)

He’s really insecure, so it took him a while to believe that you could actually like him back, but eventually, he opened up.

You go on Tuesday Night dates and watch really bad movies together because he thinks it’s the best past time ever to laugh at bad acting

And he is huge on PDA, but not in the gross high school way, like little kisses on the cheek and knuckle, and things like that.

I’m going to leave this here but I didn’t want to leave you in my inbox for too long :). It turned out pretty gender neuteral.

[p3ggy-reynolds]

a/n um no one asked for this and I've never done this before but let's do some general SET headconnons, Sincerely 3 x reader

Warnings: fluff, maybe swearing, mentions of sex

CONNOR: -honestly my boy is the sweetest person -tbh this boy is secretly so scared of dogs and you can't even right me on that it just makes sense. -he seems so tough but he's got bad anxiety and this boy LOVESSS YOU more than anything so he'll open up sometimes. -he's pansexual -he dated Evan for a while but they broke up but they're still good friends -Connor and Jared are totally super close. They mostly joke around and tease each other -Connor loves it when you call him "Con" -gee does he love cuddles like he would cuddle with you all day. -this boy is so Dom when it comes to sex seriously -he literally falls to pieces when you undress around him, fight me on that, i dare you. -fucking loves it when you call him daddy, and LOVES hair pulling. -connor owns a truck. It's rusty and blue.

EVAN: -loves being called "Ev" -Evan loves dogs so much. -evan likes to borrow Connors truck and take you to watch the stars in the back seat. -he loves to hold hands with you but he gets nervous that his hands are sweaty. -give you the cutest fucking kisses ever I swear he's the best kisser -gifts are his love language. He buys you stuff everywhere you go and it Sooo good at birthdays -Evan was so uncomfortable undressing around you at first - Evan isn't very confident when it comes to sex but he's gentle and it's always romantic. - this boi loves to watch horror movies with you especially because he snuggles you the whole time -Ev is so close to his mom, you and Heidi are such good friends - Evan hates his birthday so much but you treat him like a KING when it comes around - you were childhood besties and you were each other's first kiss and everything

JARED: - omg Jared lovesss to tease you, sometimes he takes it too far but he is so apologetic when he hurts you -he loves it when you throw popcorn into each other's mouths - you compete in video games but he let's you win sometimes -he is Sooo confident about sex like this man is so confident about his size but he would never say it out loud -he def likes it when you thigh-fuck him while he plays video games-he gets turned on so easily obviously -you could honestly do anything and he would fall apart. -Jared is actually surprisingly romantic when it comes to dates and gifts -Jared has a pet fish names Pixels or something - this boy has a pool in his yard and best bet he thinks about doing you every time you guys go swimming

[soursaiki]

Double Trouble AU

Requested: eh kinda it was an idea by @bloodynailbat that Jared Kleinman and Jeremy Heere are brothers so I thought it would be cool to do a twin au. (I think we’re the first people to think of this au so if you use it in something credit us!) also she helped with some of the headcannons too! Her hcs are in bold.

So here’s some random headcannons

—

Jared and Jeremy are identical twins (obvi)

When Michael comes over he has to put a sticker on Jeremy’s forehead because when he comes over Jeremy and Jared like to dress alike to mess with him

Sometimes they switch stickers and Jared carries a conversation with Michael while Mikey doesn’t even realize it

Evan thinks that it’s cool that they’re twins and that it’s funny because they’re polar opposites

Jared and Jeremy steal eachother’s clothes

When they were younger they would try to convince people that one is the other behind each other’s backs and mess around. Nothing major like grades but like, telling embarrassing stories and stuff

They stopped doing it when people started to be able to tell them apart more clearly, However people still mess up so when Michael goes up to Jared or Evan goes up to Jeremy and they start talking like one is the other the brothers just go along with it until Evan or Michael realizes

They changed all their classes to have the same ones to confuse the teachers

Zoe thought she smacked Jared but she smacked Jeremy and she cried for a day and a half cause she felt so bad

The Connor Project and The Squipcident happened at the exact same time. Afterwards they both confessed to everything that happened to each other and tried to help each other fix things

Rich calls them “double trouble”

Christine thinks it’s the cutest thing ever

Jared packs a lunch while Jeremy buys at school

Jeremy is like. Amazing at giving gifts but Jared’s shit at it, so every gift-giving holiday is consisted of Jared trying not to cry and Jeremy trying to make him

They hack each others snapchats and say false information about each other (ex: “Hey, it’s Jeremy and I’ll suck your butt for $5”)

They share a room and they have bunk beds (Jared on the top, Jeremy on the bottom)

Jared has his driver’s license, but Jeremy doesn’t. And Jared being the dick he is, he makes Jeremy pay him when they drive to school. Jeremy just ends up buying Jared sushi every Friday instead of giving him money

Michael’s moms adore the twins

And they obvi ship jeremy with Michael

Jared usually initiates fights between the two of them, Jared being physical and Jeremy using his words.

Alana gets mad when Jared and Jeremy pair up in group projects cause she likes Jared, and Jeremy keeps stealing her mans ;0

Jeremy is a cat person while Jared is a dog person. They compromised and got a bird

Jared taught it cuss words while Jeremy taught it quotes from video games

They named it Pablo (from the backyardigans)(but Jared likes Kanye West so he likes the name Pablo even more)

they both kind of knew what was going on with the other one during the events of their respective musicals, but Jeremy didn’t know how to help. Jared was the one that went over to Michael’s and talked him into forgiving Jeremy and getting him the Mountain Dew Red. Jared convincing Michael was kind of heartfelt and gave off major protective brother vibes but Jared told Michael as soon as he left that “You tell anyone that I did this, I’ll kick your ass”

Jeremy has a bunch of plants in his window and Jared got mad at him one time and poured bleach in most of their pots and they died and then Jeremy cried and he felt bad for a month (and maybe still feels bad)

But the friend group thought it was funny

Both boys had the favorite color blue but it was hard to determine who’s was who’s because of that, so before Mom left she would buy Jeremy light blue and Jared deep blue so they could differentiate, but after mom left, Jared hated anything mom got him and the color blue, so he threw out everything of his and deco died that grey was his new favorite. Jeremy was the opposite, he held onto everything mom gave him and embraced a lot more blue

Jared and Jeremy love Michael’s moms!!! They like to think of them as the moms they “never” had

Evan and Jared bond about their parents. One of their parents left and they understand and respect each other deeply because of that

|Masterlist

[3dprintedfurby]

Give me your kleinsen headcanons. This isn't a question. HAND EM OVER.

These are mostly Jared centric I’m sorry

They love to bake together!!! Every relatives birthday for both of them they end up having to make a cake cause they make some bomb ass baked goods

Jared’s very allergic to cats but he always wanted one so evan got them a hairless cat and they had an argument on what to name her cause Jared wanted to name her piss baby so he finally let evan choose Aspen

Evan likes to knit and makes sweaters for aspen!!

Jared is such a snuggly little bitch. You can’t stop him he will cuddle evan at any given time but only if they are alone

As much as Jared has been pining over Evan for so many years when they finally got together for at least 2 years he really could never show any kind of affection in public cause of his parents being super homophobic and he’s terrified that if they found out he’d be kicked out and how much internalized homophobia he has and is scared to do something as little as hold Evans hand

Jared is horny constantly. You can’t stop him he is the number one horny bastard.

Evan gave Jared a little stuffed bunny when they were 8 cause he has noticed Jared seemed to he acting weird for a few weeks and Jared still has it and always keeps it on his bed

Jared is autistic!!! Evan has definitely taken note of all his stims and what they mean. His happy stims are rocking, flapping his hands, bouncing, sticking his tongue out and his anxious stims are flapping his hands, rocking, tapping on whatever surface is nearby, chewing and pulling at hoodie strings if he has them and his meltdown stims are scratching at his arms or thighs, pulling his hair and trying to shove his fingers down his throat but Evan usually stops him he also rocks and repeats phrases like his current favorite meme or just something he says a lot stuff like “I’m going feral”

Jared and Evan sometimes just lay in Evans bed listening to music and snuggling and it’s one their favorite activities.

[fanficnstuuff]

Wait for it.