#jay: im sorry just put yourself in my place for a second wouldn’t you do anything to make your crush happy?

[krizariel]

For whatever reason I keep going angsty routes…

(Jaytim engame with unrequited jaydick)

Jay who had a crush on Dick that went from admiration/jealousy to big ass crush that persisted even after he came back from the dead, guns blazing and angry. Once his anger and frustrations about Bruce settled down his crush for the first Robin remained strong even though Dickie just saw him as a little brother. Still, he knows he’d do anything for him. Anything to erase that sad frown on his face. Even go, apologize to the replace- ahem, Tim, try to make amendments and at least befriend him, keep an eye on him and help Dickie get closer to Tim again. Dickie feels guilty for taking Robin away from Tim but he did not have a better option, Damian needed him….problem is, Tim needed him too. He knows that now. He wants to fix it… but he doesn’t know how to get closer to Tim anymore, not with the animosity between Damian and Tim on the way.

So, seeing Dickie so heartbroken about how his relationship with Tim has deteriorated after he gave Robin to Damian, then the Bruce Quest and then Tim being mostly on his own base of operations, Jason offers to help. How? The hell if he knows he just knows he hates seeing Dick that way and the replacement needs to understand the demon brat needed guidance. He is an assassin yes but still a kid.

So, Jason, the good samaritan he is(?), walks in to make amends with Tim…he owed him that much to be fair, try to befriend him and find a way to make a bridge between Tim and Dickie. Problem is he made a few miscalculations: it was somehow easy to approach Tim, easy to get to know him if you actually tried (the man wasn’t hiding, no one cared nor took the time to look), easy to understand how unfair it all was for him as well, easy to fall for his little quirks, easy to realize how similar they were at the fundamental level.

Would’ve been nice if he realized Tim had a crush on him before he went and absolutely smashed Tim’s heart when he realized Jason had a crush on Dick and only approached Tim in the first place because he wanted to help Dickie get his other little brother back.

It would also have been nice if he realized earlier how hard he had fallen for Tim.

[g0niki]

hey, i just wonder if you'll be able to write something like "enhas reactions when their chubby gf is insecure about her body" cause im that gf and i feel terrible today? sorry if its too much ❤️ love your works

enha x gn!reader

word count: 1k+ (estimated 150 each)

contents: jake says girl once, kissing, fondling/ groping, overall fluff, suggestive (jaywon).

a/n: i made it sfw with some members suggestive(jay & jungwon)! I hope this makes you feel better and just let me know if you’d like an nsfw ver in the future!

heeseung ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑ heeseung would most likely be sitting at his computer gaming and notice you in his peripheral looking in the mirror, trying on clothes, and overall just not being satisfied with how you look.

⭑ he'd take off his headphones and swivel in his chair to face you, just silently opening his arms for you to come sit on his thigh. the second you sit down he's wrapping his arms around your frame and pepper soft kisses onto your face asking what's got you so down.

⭑immediately showers you with the softest praise. "i find every part of you beautiful, love." he’s definitely gripping your thighs and running his hands up them, just trying to bring you some comfort.

⭑ i don't think he'd have too much to say but he'd do his absolute best to make you feel appreciated in that moment. closing out his games and deciding to pull up your favorite show/movies using this time just to hold you closely and gently caress every curve and kiss softly behind your ear every few moments.

more under cut ᯓ★

jay ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑i believe jay's biggest love language is food. he's always making sure his partner is eating well and just gets happy seeing his partner appreciate his home-cooked meals.

⭑ that being said, jay would 100% notice any change in diet/ eating habits. the second he notices you picking at your plate and refusing to eat your favorite foods he's raising an eyebrow and silently observing you.

⭑ he wouldn't put you on the spot but after dinner, while you’re cleaning up the dishes he'd come up and hug you from behind. "everything ok princess?"

⭑he'd listen to you attentively, trying his best to understand why you may feel like that. he’d hum in response taking in all your words but he finds you to be perfect. personally, i believe jay loves tummies, thighs, and all of that, he likes how it feels in his hands and honestly finds it to be attractive. "why don't we go shower so i can show my girl just how much she means to me?" and be prepared for jay to do just that.

jake ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑firmly believe jake loves all bodies like mans does not care, but if his partner ever were to be feeling insecure he’s right there to reassure them.

⭑jake on a daily expresses to his partner how much he loves them and is constantly hanging all over them. if you ever were feeling down and struggling with your image he’s quick to tell you that he loves you and wouldn’t trade you for the world. “you know no matter the size you’ll always be my girl right?”

⭑ i see him as the type to kiss you and in between each kiss list off what he loves about you, taking his time just to make you smile. “there’s that pretty smile i missed so much” while cupping your face and placing another gentle kiss on your lips.

⭑ he just wants to see you with a smile on your face and appreciating yourself for everything you are.

sunghoon ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑hoon is more in his head than the three above, i think he would be worried about what he may have said or done, thinking that he was the one to have made you feel that way.

⭑i think the easiest way for him to express that he loves you would be through subtle actions, coming up to you and caressing your curves, pushing your hair out of your face to just hold your face and take in your beauty.

⭑he would lean down and push your noses together, kissing you and saying “you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever laid eyes on love.”

⭑i do see him walking on eggshells a bit, unsure of how to approach the issue but he would always be there for you until you do open up, holding your hand, constantly reassuring and admiring you.

sunoo ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑he notices his partner not wanting to snack with him as much. one of sunoo’s favorite things to do would be going on late-night snack runs with you, so the moment you refuse to get icecream or share his mint choco he’s pouting and asking you what’s wrong.

⭑he’s very k-drama-esque, pushing your shoulder and scolding you “ya! i like you for you, not because of what others may think you look like.” wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you with all his might.

⭑"this is who i love, and i want the person i love to love themself!” pulling back and grabbing your hand, staring into your eyes, and placing a pouty kiss onto your lips.

⭑ sunoo literally doesn’t tolerate his partner not loving themselves, he thinks you’re perfect and that anyone that disagrees needs to piss off.

jungwon ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑before i start, i think won loves curvy girls, he’s very touchy and loves having more to grab. won with a curvy s/o he’d constantly be touching up on you and it kind of brings him comfort in a way.

⭑if you told him you were feeling insecure i don’t think he’d be able to understand why. jungwon is immediately furrowing his brows and trying to wrap his head around the fact.

⭑he’d pull you onto the bed next to him, leaning over you to say “you must not see how perfect you are.” he’d take a moment just to admire you, hold you close to him, and probably trail kisses along your neck and chest.

⭑"nothing about you could ever be less than perfect,” his kisses never stopping as he pushes you back and get’s ready to show you what he feels.

riki ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⭑i think he’d get mad if you told him you were feeling insecure. not mad at you but mad at whoever made you think you weren’t enough. he’d try and keep his composure for your sake but his eyebrows would be pinched together and jaw slightly clenched.

⭑ sits you down just to hear you out better, mostly to calm himself down and figure out just what to say. holding your hands and using his thumbs to caress the backs of them.

⭑"why worry about them anyways, i’m the one who loves you.” he just might be even more hurt than you are. he’d calm himself down by gently kissing the top of your temple and pulling you to lean onto his chest.

⭑"don’t listen to them, none of them matter.” his definitely using his words to calm himself down and stop himself from acting irrationally to protect you.

ᯓ★

@g0niki all rights reserved. do not translate or post my work anywhere without permission.

[lvstcd]

sober ↝ jj maybank x reader

request: how about a jj x reader where she doesn’t do drugs and tells jj off, but then they come to the house and she’s there and her eyes are red, they point it out and she blames it on allergies but jj says something like “no i recognise the blood shot eyes” and realise that she’s taken drugs/smoked ( @bibrokenbestfriend )

summary: you have recently been getting into taking hard drugs and the pogues find you and realize what’s going on. 

warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs (cocaine), angst, screaming/yelling, 

gif creds to @toesure

you stumble back to the boneyard after meeting up with your drug dealer and act as if nothing happened and you just went to the bathroom at the chateau. you take a sip of your beer and sit at the fire with the rest of the pogues, chiming in on there conversation. “where’d ya go?” kie asks as she glances at you, causing the conversation to pause for a split second. 

“i had to pee.” you state before taking another sip of your beer. kie nods and continues on with the conversation as you zone out and watch all the fucked up teens around you. “im bored, let’s play never have i ever drinking edition.” sarah grins at everyone while she sits on john b’s lap, “i’ll go first.” she slurs and holds her hands out. 

“never have i ever had sex in a church.” sarah smirks and glances at john b with a giggle leaving her lips. the two take a sip of beer while kie fake gags. “i’ll go.” pope says, holding his cup out, “never have i ever done hard drugs.” no one takes a sip of their beers. you act like you aren’t paying attention and take a sip. everyone watches as you turn back to the group confused. 

“what?” you blurt trying to play dumb. “did you not hear popes question?” kie asks you, glancing between all of the pogues. “no, i zoned out.” you lie, taking another sip of your beer. jj furrows his eyebrows together, “you were watching pope as he said it..” he quietly points out as concern washes over his face. 

“well i didn’t hear it, alright?” you sass and glance back around at the party as your hands start to shake from the anxiety. “you know you can tell us anything, right?” jj asks you as he places his hand softly on your shoulder. you glare at the boy and shove his hand off of you before you stand up. “i don’t do fucking drugs, jj. stop digging around for something when there is literally nothing. now if you would excuse me, i need a refill.” you scoff as you stomp off to the keg and leave your friends behind to give each other weird looks.

trigger warning: cocaine

you decided to leave the kegger extremely early. you head towards your empty house since your mother was working a night shift. you shove the key in the lock and turn before walking in and tossing your bag on the couch. you slam the door shut and grip your hair with your hands as you pace the floor. 

thoughts about the questioning looks from your best friends rush through your head as your heart beat starts to pick up. you try to blink away the tears before you storm towards your bag and search for the baggie of white powder. you catch a glimpse of the bag and yank it out of the bag along with your credit card. you climb over to the glass coffee table and sit criss-crossed before opening the bag and dumping some of the powder onto the table. 

after you make a couple thin lines, you dig around looking for your rolled up dollar. “fuck.” you exhale when you realize you gave the dollar to your dealer as it was included in your payment. you lean forward and bring your right nostril to the table as you press the other one closed. you close your mouth and eyes and inhale, the buzz instantly hitting as the thoughts of how you were growing an addiction faded. 

you finish the other couple of lines and put your stuff back in your bag before sitting on the couch. you grab the remote and turn the tv on as you stare at it, not moving a muscle. you sit like that for about 20 minutes until you hear your front door open and your four best friends rush inside your house, fear on their faces. 

“what the fuck?” you mumble as you glace up at your friends, resisting to rub your tingling nose. “you literally disappeared, y/n, what do you mean ‘what the fuck?’“ kie states as she throws her hands around. your eyes skim along your friends. jj watches you carefully as he notices that your eyes are bloodshot and your nose is running and red. “what happened to you?” sarah asks as she notices the same thing, stepping over to you. you shrug and wipe your nose, a little bit of blood smearing on your arm, “allergies.” you lie and watch jj stare at you and shake his head. 

he takes a couple steps closer to you to get a better look. in his eyes, he sees every answer to what you’ve previously done. his father looked the same way. every fucking time. “sunshine...” jj croaks out as he kneels down in front of you. you tilt your head at him and furrow your eyebrows together. “why?” he whispers as he blinks back the tears that are welling up in his eyes. 

“why what?” you play dumb and let out an airy chuckle. everyone watches you intently, confused on what sarah and jj see. jj looks away and slightly scoffs, hurt evident in all of his facial features. “don’t play dumb, y/n. i recognize the bloodshot eyes.” jj mutters sternly before standing up. 

“it’s allergies, jj-” you quickly start but jj cuts you off, causing you to flinch, “i’m not fucking dumb, y/n! i see the effects of coke all the fucking time.” everyone around you gasps. “you look like how rafe did when he was using...” sarah whispers as the buzz she had moments before is gone. “guys...” you start as you start to stand up yet jj cuts you off again, “you did hear what pope said!” you freeze and slowly drop your hands as you stare at the angry blonde boy in front of you, “you fucking heard him. you drank on purpose. yet you acted like we were fucking stupid when we asked you about it.” 

you drop your innocent act and stare at the floor as you avoid your friends stares. “why the fuck do you care, jj?” you blurt and lift your head back up. jj squints his eyes at you, “why the fuck do i care?” he asks you, causing you to nod your head. “because you’re my bestfriend, y/n, what the fuck do you mean why do i care? you literally mean the world to me and i don’t know what would i do if i lost you. i wouldn’t be able to live with myself if i let you do drugs and kill yourself, sunshine. i wouldn’t.” jj rambles as he throws his hands around. everyone is silent, still trying to process the scene at hand. 

you get closer to jj, “you don’t fucking own me!” you shout at him as anger pulses through you, “you have no fucking control of what i do!” jj shakes his head and starts throwing shit around as he searches for the baggie. “what the fuck are you doing?” you screech as he tears your living room apart. “where the fuck is it, y/n?” jj asks lowly as he still searches. “where is what-” he cuts you off, “the fucking baggie, y/n!” he shouts at you. you glance at the only thing untouched, your bag. pope notices and quickly grabs it and hands it to jj, a look of pity and remorse flashing through the chocolate boy’s features. 

jj unzips your bag and sees the baggie filled with white powder. you go to snatch it out of the blue eye’d boys fingers, failing as jj pulls his arm back so you can’t reach. “fuck you, jj!” you scream at him as the tears run down your face. “fuck me?! for what? caring about you?” he asks just as loud as you drop back on the couch as you struggle to breathe. “why are you doing this?” you sob out, pressing your hands firmly on your chest as your heartbeat quickens. 

“because i don’t want you to end up like rafe and my dad, y/n!” he yells out with tears streaming down his cheeks. you release a heavy sob and squeeze your eyes shut. kie rushes over to you and pulls you into her embrace as she rubs your back with her head. sarah sits on the other side of you and joins the small group hug. “we’re gonna get you help, okay?” sarah asks you as she rubs her thumb on your fore arm. you slowly nod your head and continue to let the tears fall. 

jj slowly walks over to you and kneels down in front of you. kie and sarah release you and let you fall into jj’s arms as the tears don’t stop. “i’m so sorry, jay...” you cry out, pressing your face in jj’s neck as he places small kisses on your shoulder blade after every few seconds. “i’m so fucking sorry.” 

taglist: @jjsredhat @livinglikepogues @jjsbxtch @jellyfishbeansontoast @ethereallust @jj-bxby @baby-pogue @bruhjustdont

[jay-and-dean]

Tennessee Whiskey

Dean x reader

Summary : The Mark of Cain is making Dean try to drown is demons, the truth is he’s drowning himself. But when a pretty girl offers him a drink, he wonders... Does he really need another whiskey ? So he gets home to the one that waits for him.

Warnings : Fluff, MoC Dean, mention of alcohol abuse, implied Smut.

Wordcount : about 1.5k

Note : This fic is inspired by Chris Stapleton’s song, Tennesse Whiskey.

=> Listen to it while reading Here

***Jay’s Masterlist***

________________________

          You pushed the washing machine buttons, almost enjoying its purr in the silence of the bunker. Heavy, dreadful silence.

           Walking past Sam's room, you sighed, he didn't come home today like he said he might, and you knew he wouldn't tomorrow either, not until he found something. Something that seemed impossible to find.

           How interminable was those corridors really ? Why did the Men of Letters had to make everything so big ? You wrapped your arms around yourself like it could keep you from that freezing loneliness making you want to cry constantly.

           You checked the war room one last time, making sure the lights was on. Getting down those stairs drunk was enough of a challenge to add the darkness.

           He wouldn't come back before a few hours or in the morning. He would smell like whiskey and walk like a man that lost everything... And tomorrow, he would act like he didn't came close to coma the night before, and start drinking at noon.

           You sighed deeply, and decided that you would wait for him again, on that stupid chair all night, even if you had promised yourself you won't do that ever again.

           You opened your laptop and plugged the little speakers you took in every room you went since the Mark became worse. Just to fight that silence...

           Painful, deafening silence.

           But before you could chose what music to play, the door opened in a grating sound and he appeared on its frame. A warm smile appeared on his face the second he saw you were waiting again.

"Dean ?" you frowned, surprised to see him home so early and, from the way he was coming down those stairs, barely worse than tipsy.

"Hey Babygirl."

Maybe more than tipsy.

"Wasn't your evening fun ?" you asked as he was walking closer with a light smile on his face, and his eyes focused on you.

"It was very common" he answered, pouring himself another glass of whiskey. "There was this girl, with a tiny skirt looking at me from the other side of the room..."

A girl now, with a tiny skirt... You could totally see her in your mind, the skirt had to be denim, and she was probably touching her long brown hair with fake waves.

"Great" you just said, a little bitter.

What more could you come up with anyway ? You had done all you could those last few months. Helped him, patched him up, reassured him, looked for a cure, listened, forgave... You had let down your shyness to allow your love for him to shine in every one of your gesture thinking if it could help him though this, then that would just worth exposing your heart... But who were you, huh, compared to a very short dress and shiny hair girl ?

"She came to talk to me" he continued, that mysterious look on his face. "And offered me a drink ! A girl never offered me a drink before" a chuckle left his chest.

"A drink" you repeated, shrugging.

"I really don't need people to offer me drinks..." he muttered and before you could say anything, question him, he gave you a sad but sincere smile, making it obvious that he was remembering something. "But then... They played that song."

He got a step closer, his boot almost touching your chair, and offered you his hand.

           You looked up, unsure. Was he trying to show you something ? To take you somewhere ? His face didn't move, and his hopeful almost enthusiastic eyes convinced you to take his hand and get up. It was rare enough to see him with light on his face lately...

"This song..." his murmured, starting to hum. "It was about you."

"About me ?"

"Yes" he stated, gently wrapping his arms around your waist, careful not to touch you more than you would want to -you wanted everything really-. " 'Made me want to dance with you."

"So you drove home ?" you chuckled slightly, starting to like his kind mood.

"I did. I wish you could hear the song in my head."

You searched his face. He actually looked like a weight had been taken from his shoulders. His eyes were a little brighter and his words were warming the whole place.

           You let yourself enjoy the smell of his skin and the softness of that flannel you loved so much. Dean was close and he had his strong hands on your lower back ; suddenly, any memory of loneliness vanished.

"If you know some words, the title or singer, I could" you smiled, curious, looking at the speakers Sam got you for your birthday.

"I know the title and all" he nodded. "If you open one of your magic things where all the songs are."

You bended a little on your laptop and he only let go of you to type some words, focused, his neck inches away from your craving mouth.

"Loud please" he murmured with a satisfied nod as he seemed to find the song he was looking for.

You turned the speaker volume up and stood straight again to face him. His hand came to the back of your neck gently, fingers shy, encouraging you to put your head on his shoulder.

           The first deep very warm notes rocked you, and the drums matched your heart as you took a deep inhale of his beloved smell, barely believing how tender and intimate this moment was.

           Maybe he was a little drunk after all, maybe this gesture was purely friendly for him, maybe he was just torturing you... Or you were asleep on this hard table, having the best dream of your life. But you couldn't care less as you nuzzled your face close to him, wrapped by his big arms and the smooth heat of the guitar echoing everywhere, finally chasing that damn silence.

But when the deep and powerful voice of the singer invaded the room, the corridors, the entire bunker... Dean started to whisper the lyrics in your ear... And you couldn't help but hang yourself to his neck.

"I used to spend my nights out in a barroom, liquor was the only love I've known..." he whispered and Goosebumps went up your spine. "But you rescued me from reachin' for the bottom, and brought me back from being too far gone."

Tears filled your eyes, and his arms held you closer. His hips started swaying really slightly, because this was obviously more about being against one another than dancing.

"You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey" his voice suddenly became a little more than a whisper. "You're as sweet as strawberry wine. You're as warm as a glass of brandy, and honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time..."

Your tears fell heavily on his shirt and your hands grasped the fabric in his back. His lips brushed your temple for a second before he continued murmuring the lyrics of your new favorite song against your burning skin.

"I've looked for love in all the same old places" he said more than he sang, putting another kiss close to your hair. "But when you poured out your heart I didn't waste it 'Cause there's nothing like your love to get me high."

You wanted to say a million words, finally having Dean holding you close to his heart, but the song was rocking you so good, the guitar strings were inside your core and your lips were sealed by emotions anyway.

           He kept swaying his clumsy hips slowly, his palms going down on your ass to crush you on him, making you feel his body begging for more of you. His lips went down from your temple to your jaw, never leaving your skin, in a brush that triggered a blaze in your veins.

"Dean..." you murmured in an exhale.

"I don't need anything out there to be stronger" he stated, kissing your neck. "I just need the woman that gives me the will to beat this at any cost."

You knew he could taste the salt of your tears in your neck.

           When he took a step, caging you between the map-table and his strong body, your arm went behind to lift your hips enough to sit on it. But in your rush, you hit his glass, making it fall and shatter on the floor.

"I'm sorry for your whiskey glass..." you started, immediately cut by his plumb sweet eager lips on yours.

"I don't care about whiskey" he assured you, grabbing your thighs to come between them. "I just want to be stoned on you."

____________________________

***FEEDBACK IS GOLD***

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[evolsinner]

⊱┊7

with the moment past {definitely not mentally}, i make my way to the lounge.

“hey, rosé?”

i see him seated on a 3 seat sofa.

a, i hope he didn’t see the way i shaved my hair down there into a love heart... b, he def saw my boobies!!

“y~yes, mr killian?”

“you hungry or something? i can order you some pizza.”

hell, i’m famished, can’t remember the last time i ate.

“no, aha…”

“you sure?”

“actually, yeah, i am, a little... sorry if that’s an inconvenience.”

“no, not at all! don’t be silly. i’m starving.”

i restrict a smile.

“here,” he shifts to the side, patting the middle seat, “make yourself comfortable. i’ll order some now.”

i place his hoody on the armrest and sit on the other end instead; don’t have it in me to sit right next to him. we would be like idk touching and whatnot. amongst the remote and his wallet, he grabs his phone from the middle seat, dialling a number.

“pineapple on pizza?” he faces me, holding the phone to his ear.

i fucking love pineapple on pizza.

“100%,” i reply confidently.

he grins.

i have just found my soulmate.

i admire how laid back he looks: his white untucked dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal thick veins and a dark tan, tie tossed on the table. is this how every male teacher looks after work?

‘cause, yummy!

“takeaway. one large vegetarian and one large hawaiian...with extra pineapple, please,” sir glances at me adorably. “cheers, sweetheart,” he hangs up after giving his number and address for the order. “should be here in 40 mins,” he informs me, “catch,” and tosses the remote at me. “pick a movie. make it a good one. i’m gonna go freshen up quickly.”

can i come?

-ˋˏ ༻🍷༺ ˎˊ-

i struggle to find a goddamn movie!

sir’s phone vibrates and i look across at it. why does that thing be buzzing and ringing all the time? i mean... hmm… i lean all the way back, peeping down the hallway. i listen to see if the shower is still on.

🚿pshhshhshhshhshhshh

oh good, it’s still on. i sneakily pick up his orange google pixel 4 xl mobile phone. okay, let’s see, what’s his passcode? says his pin contains at least four digits. hmm...

1 2 3 4

incorrect pin entered

4 3 2 1

incorrect pin entered

6 9 6 9

incorrect pin entered

his birth year, maybe?

1 9 8 1

incorrect pin entered

it’s definitely mine, then.

2 0 0 0

try again in 30 seconds

fuck, what is it?!

now i’m adamant.

a while later, i listen for the shower again. no sound. fuck me! i also haven’t even picked a movie yet! i grasp the remote and quickly flip through the movies. in ‘newly added’ a film that goes by the name ‘barefoot’ {2014} appears. this’ll do. i haphazardly click on it, put his phone back in the middle seat and swiftly bring my knees up on the sofa.

bathroom door opens and mr killian returns, setting himself down.

and ohhhh boy, oh jesus h. christ, he is wearing grey sweatpants. grey. sweatpants. oh my goddddddd!!!!

🎵dun da daaaaa! dunda dunda da dun dadada oo oo oooooo dun da da

i cringe, really should have skipped the first 10 mins or something.

sir looks at me with an amused expression, “just started?”

i nod, embarrassed.

then he cracks up a little, “how long did it take for you to pick a film?”

“i paused it, was waiting for you.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

“alrighty then,” he slumps down, letting me get away with the white lie. “this better be good or else you’re held accountable.”

the professional teacher’s vibe is disappearing and transforming into a perky one.

he’s wearing a loose t~shirt with long sleeves and it’s even rolled up. his hair is damp and floppy, making him so much more attractive. he runs his hands through it, flipping it back as the stray droplets of water roll down his neck. i would gladly lick them off for him if he doesn’t mind...

“why’s my phone locked for 60 minutes?”

“huh?” i snap out of my daydream.

“my phone, why’s it locked?”

*ding dong.*

“maybe...you put the wrong password in?”

“pretty sure i didn’t, and you’re the only other person in this house, no?”

*ding dong!*

“aha..ha,” i giggle nervously.

“does it look like i’m laughing?” he asks me condescendingly.

my smile disappears.

*ding dong! ding dong! ding dong! ding dong!*

“ight, i’m coming!!” sir shouts, grabbing his wallet. “..jesus christ, break my damn doorbell, will you..” he mutters under his breath angrily.

bit hot...

-ˋˏ ༻🍷༺ ˎˊ-

i only ate 2 slices of pizza so i wouldn’t look like a fat bitch in front of sir. he, however, didn’t even eat any. so much for being ‘starving’. he was just casually watching me eat. i could feel his eyes on me each time i took a bite and the odd olive or pineapple went rolling down into my lap. it was so awkward!

we’re halfway through the movie and i felt the need to say something because jay, the character, was such a jerk.

“i mean, it’s actually rather heartbreaking. daisy was locked away for most of, if not, her whole life. and now she is finally free, finally able to experience the pleasures of the real world. she put all of her trust in him and he abandoned her. that’s so not cool.”

as i’m analysing the film, i feel his eyes analysing me.

“well, you can’t blame him,” sir counterattacks. “jay had his own life, his own problems to deal with. she was just another added problem to that.”

“then he should’ve led her back to the hospital again instead of taking her on this joyride purely for his own greed.”

“remember, she chose to take part.”

“he was being selfish.”

“he was lending her a hand.”

“which is what ultimately made her fall in love with him in the first place,” i state like a full stop.

sir’s whole face just speaks wow. “so why didn’t you do my analysis homework then, huh?”

“because it’s boring,” i look him boldly in the eyes, his slicked back hair has me feelin’ oozy and woozy.

“oh, it’s boring?” he emphasises, raising his eyebrows. “is that so?”

“yup,” i purse my lips.

“what was it again?” he grabs my arm, pulling me into his lap. “‘boring’, did you say?”

i’m trying to escape and he’s trying to hold me still. gradually, our laughter dies out and we become aware, so much more aware.

“got some on your mouth,” he says in the heat of the moment, running his thumb over my bottom lip.

there was definitely no pizza sauce or whatever on my mouth, but i play my part. somehow, his thumb finds its way inside my mouth and i instinctively wrap my tongue around it. his green eyes glimmer like shiny marbles as he watches me

suck

on his

thumb.

i feel pressure underneath me, something building up in stiffness. i shift his hand away, glancing down and then back up again. his marble eyes, they just look at me. look through me.

no way in hell did i imagine this moment to actually happen. i mean, most of us girls had these insane crushes on teachers, but never did i think it’d unravel like this.

he firmly places his hand on my lower backside and pushes me closer to himself. “what, you scared now?” he whispers, dominance combined with confidence, topped off with lust.

i gulp, trying to sound brave, “and why would i be scared?”

“you should be,” he replies.

i am lost for words. this kind of intimidation is seductive. all i wanna do is kiss him! though i won’t make the same mistake of glancing at his lips twice.

he speaks in a soft tone, “has anyone ever told you how captivating your~”

“my eyes are?” i finish his cliché line off for him.

“...your lips,” he corrects, casting his gaze down at them.

i bite my bottom lip, flustered for acting like a smartass.

“you know, on some occasions, i’ve noticed that you bite your lip when you’re nervous. it’s cute,” he grins, “i like it more than i should,” and waits patiently for me to fall into his devilish trap.

believe me when i say i’m trying goddamn hard to not sink my teeth into my flesh! which is why i replace it with a mere innocent gulp.

“but on most occasions, you gulp,” he says as i’m gulping.

he removes the hair from my neck.

i get hella anxious, hella aroused so i..

“nuh~uh,” he shakes his head and pulls my bottom lip down with the pad of his thumb. “‘nough biting from you, sweetheart. those are mine to bite now.”

am i dreaming right now?

i try to reposition myself by moving a little back so that i’m not directly on him. as i do this, his erection rubs further into me and i slightly moan kinda too evidently. my eyes open super wide and i instantly shut my mouth. it surprises me that it doesn’t faze him one bit.

“your t~t~thing is p~poking me..” i gesture with my eyes to his manhood.

his orbs shine like someone has stabbed an apocalyptic emerald sunset multiple times. it’s glorifying. magical. the stuff dreams are made from. and instead, he pushes me further down onto his sculpture. he leans his head in, his mouth millimetres away from mine.

“and do you like it?” he questions seriously.

our noses touch, our lips brush...

“answer the question.”

“yes,” i squeak. “i like it.”

i try to remain as calm as possible, but it’s impossible due to the nerves causing havoc inside me, particularly the nerves between my thighs. i don’t know what to focus on. that mouth? his eyes? or down below...

“may i let something be known, luv?” sir requests politely.

i nod.

“i can see your tits...through that shirt...” he whispers sexily.

my breath hitches up.

kiss me! why won’t he kiss me? just fucking kiss me! shit, it’s impossible not to look. i give in and look at his lips. the corners curve slightly into a wayward grin. i see... he wants me to initiate it.

welp, sorry, no can do, mister.

he literally places my bottom lip between his teeth and lightly tugs at it, his breaths hitting my mouth like rose petals. this act is enormously enticing, but i know he’s teasing me.

my turn.

i purposely grind in his lap and he suppresses a hoarse groan. then he scoffs. very conceited. he’s so gonna lose. i keep my lips impossibly close to his for when he forfeits which should be right about...now.

he shakes his head smugly.

i frown, pouting.

he half~smiles adorably.

fine, i have a better idea. one he doesn’t see cumming coming.

i lift away the waistband of my borrowed sweatpants and grip his hand. his body automatically tenses up. i can feel him getting harder from just the thoughts i’m giving him. i bring his hand closer to me. he’s losing and it’s hella entertaining to watch.

unexpectedly, a phone goes off and i jump in fright. i rapidly get off him and he returns to his usual, rigid ways. he aggressively clears his throat before answering that stupid device.

whilst pacing up and down and holding his forehead, he stares at me intently like i’m that fucking maths problem again!

[honeybearloco]

― “...Every Word.”

title → “...every word.”

pairing → gray x female reader.

synopsis → gray and his idol girlfriend (who is the little sister of THE g-dragon) are in an on-again, off-again relationship. 

word count → 1.9k.

a/n → ngl,, i would die for gray. and i guess all the people who follow this blog stan gd and really wanna be his sister or sumn sksksksk i don’t think this was completely the request, im sorry !! 

“We broke up.”

“AGAIN?! Y/N! OH MY GOD! LET HIM GO!” Your friend, (Friend’s Name) shouted, throwing a pillow at you.

“OUCH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”

“That was for dealing with this shit for how many years with this fucker now? Like three years?” 

You huffed, covering your head with the pillow letting out a groan, “It’s been four years!”

She rolled her eyes, sitting next to you on your bed, grabbing the pillow to make you look up at her. You could already see the disappointed look in her face. You didn’t blame her for being disappointed.

She’s been your best friend since the two of you were kids. She didn’t want you to be hurt like this, and your “relationship” with Sunghwa was hurting you as well as him.

For 4 years now, you had been in an on-again and off-again relationship with Sunghwa. While girls your age were now either looking for a life partner to settle down with or starting to have kids, you didn’t want that.

You didn’t even want an actual relationship. 

Despite your parents’ pleas for you to find someone to settle down with, you continued doing what you love, performing. Performing became your life, as it has always been since you were younger. 

Being THE G-Dragon’s little sister always seems to put you in the light for whatever you had done. Even if it was simply going to a restaurant or park or even taking a walk by yourself. All eyes were on you. 

Following in your brother’s footsteps, you had begun auditioning in companies at a young age. You took on SM Entertainment as that was the first place your brother auditioned, and you wanted to train alongside him.

You were accepted on your first attempt and became a trainee. Four years into your training period, Jiyong had left to go to YG. You had wanted to follow him, but he refused to let you, making you stay at SM.

Years later in 2006, Jiyong officially debuted as a member of BIGBANG under YG Entertainment. And then in the beginning of 2007, you officially debuted as a soloist under SM Entertainment. 

While your concepts were completely different, many continued to draw parallels between the two of you.

During the stage of your first win, you were in tears and Jiyong had gone up to hug you, which sparked the interest of many. Seeing all the weird things people were saying, Jiyong had confirmed that you were his sister and his sister ONLY.

The two of you were known for your close relationship, which was why whenever Jiyong did something on TV, he was always asked about you. Whenever you did something on TV, you were always asked about him. The two of you were inseparable and have always been.

Your career was your lover. Your career was your baby. You didn’t have time for a relationship, and as mentioned earlier you didn’t want one. But you had needs. Netizens were breathing down your neck just to find something on you. Because you’re an unproblematic queen.

A dating scandal isn’t what you needed. 

Then you met Sunghwa. On the night of the anniversary of your debut, you had gone to a club with your friend just to relax a bit, as you had been working hard on something for your fans. You really needed a break.

You saw him across the bar. You had seen his face around. You had known who he was. He didn’t? He was an amazing artist. You couldn’t help but introduce yourself. You at least wanted some kind of collab. 

The looks of things, he knew you too. The two of you exchanged contact information and went from there. 

It was then rumored to the public that the two of you might be working on a song together, and they weren’t too far off. That’s where it started...eventually becoming more than that.

You’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t say Sunghwa was a very attractive man. He was too hot for his own good. 

One night, the two of you had gotten a little too drunk in the studio. One thing led to another and the next morning, you found yourself in his bare chest in your naked glory.

It was only supposed to happen one time. 

But of course that it didn’t stop. He wanted you, he craved you, as you did him, beginning the on-again-off-again relationship the two of you have. It’s been like this for four years.

You’re together, everything is going well and then someone says something that pisses you off and everything falls apart and you break up. You had lost count of how many times you and Sunghwa OFFICIALLY ended things only to get back together the next week. 

Now here you sat, with your best friend by your side, upset over your umpteenth breakup with Sunghwa that happened just yesterday.

“I don’t know why you do this to yourself. It’s like the both of you want to be with each other but then you don’t because you’re scared or something,” She mentioned. 

You sighed, pulling the pillow back over your head, “He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me.”

“Are you blind? Sunghwa has been dedicated to you and you only for 4 years now. Even when you guys broke up several times, he never ever even looked at another girl. If anything, Sunghwa fucking loves you.”

“Who the hell told you that?” You questioned, your voice kind of muffled by the pillow. 

“Jay, of course.”

“Since when do you listen to Jay? I thought you hated him. What happened?”

She rolled her eyes, folding her arms across her chest, “I do hate him but I still listen to him...even though he’s the most annoying man to walk the planet. And Jay told me that all Sunghwa talks about is you, making you happy, hanging out with you, collabing with you. He’s fucking in love with you and you still don’t see it.”

You uncovered your face once more, looking at her, “That’s a lie. Sunghwa doesn’t want a relationship with anyone just as much as I don’t want one.”

“You’re right, he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone. He wants one with you, and you’re not just anyone, Y/N. Hell the boy wrote several songs about you. And don’t try to say they aren’t about you, because they are. And you’ve wrote several songs about him.” 

Before you could speak, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You reached into your pocket, pulling out your phone and bringing it to your face to see Jay’s name appear across the screen with a text, “Speak of the fucking devil.”

‘Baby GD, did something happen between you and Sunghwa?’ His text read.

‘We broke up, why?’ You replied back, waiting for Jay’s response. Worry filled your mind. Jay hadn’t always texted you about Sunghwa, let alone text you asking if something happened out of the blue.

Was he okay?

Did something happen?

Was he hurt?

“Y/N, you okay?” F/N asked. Before you could speak, Jay had responded. You looked down at the message, ‘He locked himself in his studio and he hasn’t been out in hours. We’re kinda worried about him.’

You had known what that meant. Sunghwa didn’t lock himself in his studio unless he was TRULY sad or angry.

‘I’ll be there in a minute.’

You climbed out of bed quickly, throwing on a jacket.

“Where are you going?” 

“Sunghwa has locked himself in the studio again. I gotta go see him.”

“There you go again,” She sighed. 

Annoyed, you turned to her with a worried expression on his face, “F/N, Sunghwa has locked himself in the studio, and no one knows how long he has been in there. The last time he did that, he didn’t eat for almost two days and almost passed out! I’m not letting him do that to himself again. I can’t, especially when it’s my fault. I need to go check on him.”

You grabbed your phone and bag, heading out of the room, leaving your friend in your apartment. 

She shouted behind you, “MAKE SURE TO TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM!”

“NO PROMISES!”

You hopped in your car, heading to AOMG in a rush, but of course obeying the traffic laws. 

You arrived shortly, AOMG wasn’t too far from where you had lived.

You parked your car and rushed inside, to see Jay waiting for you at the door.

“There you are, Baby G-Dragon. So what happened?”

“I’ll explain later. I just need to see him right now,” You replied, bypassing him, heading straight toward Sunghwa’s studio, slamming your fist on the door repeatedly, “Lee Sunghwa! Open the door!”

“Y/N?” His sweet voice chimed on the other side of the door. “Yes, it’s me. Now open the door!”

A few seconds of silence sounded before the sound of the door unlocking. The door opened to reveal Sunghwa with dark circles under his eyes. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, his hair was all over his head. He wore a grey hoodie and sweatpants, not caring what he had looked like in that moment. “Jay texted you, didn’t he?”

“Sunghwa, you look horrible.”

“Thanks for making me feel better,” He groaned, leaning against the door frame. 

You pushed him further into the studio, closing the door behind you, noticing how dark it was. You turned on the light, “We’ve called it quits plenty of times before, why are you acting like this?”

“I don’t know. I guess...this one just really hurt. I thought it was going to be the end of us. I don’t want it to be the end of us,” He confessed, his eyes twinkling.

“Answer me this,” You started, making his ear perk up, “Lee Sunghwa, tell me how you truly feel about me, about us, about this. I want to hear every word.”

Without hesitation, he answered, “I love you, Y/N. I have for a long time now and I can’t get over it. I know we’ve both said that we don’t want a relationship, but with you it’s different. You’re different. We’re different. I...can’t be without you. Just the thought of you with someone who isn’t me hurts. I know how your company is. I know you need to maintain your good reputation and you wouldn’t risk it for a guy like me, but I―”

You cut him off, taking his soft face into your gentle hands, smashing your lips onto his in a passionate kiss. Without wasting a second, he relaxed against your lips, allowing his hands to snake around your waist gently.

You slowly pulled away, your eyes opening as had his. He stared into yours with admiration and love.

“I love you too, Sunghwa. I...I want things between us to work. I want us to work. I don’t just want to have you, I want to hold you, love you, kiss you, hug you. I want you all to myself,” You confessed, pressing your forehead against his.

You continued, “I want to lay in your chest on raining days and relax. I want to hear your heartbeat as I lay on your chest as you sleep. I want to make sure you are okay, every second of every day. I meant it when I said I love you.”

“I mean it too,” He smiled.

“So.”

“So.”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” The two of you asked at the same time. The two of you giggled.

“I asked first!”

“Nuh-uh, me!”

“No me!”

[ifyougivearavenawritingdesk]

Treat You Better | Harry Hook

Dᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ: [Y/N] is a patient person- they got that from their father, Scar. So when their girlfriend, Mal, leaves for Auradon, they can wait it out; but Harry Hook, who’s been crushing on the feisty lion since they were ten, certainly can’t.

Pᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Harry Hook x Reader | Past Mal x Reader

Wᴏʀᴅ Cᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.3K

A/N: This is my first fic on here, so please, be gentle ;-;. I tried quite hard on it, and I hope it’s enjoyable for you! I thought it turned out a bit cliche, so I made a little quip. Let’s see if you can find it ;).

- - -

You shoved through the individuals warning the marketplace, sending those who protested sinister glares. You cursed the magic- or, more so, lack of magic on the Isle for your human form- you could’ve been an utterly terrifying lion, but since no magic existed on the Isle, humanistic animals didn’t either.

So, you were stuck like this- a weak pathetic human, with no sharp claws or loud roar to speak of.

Usually, Mal would get your through the marketplace with ease; if people didn’t find your girlfriend intimidating, they’d find her mother in that boat. But Mal had gone off with prissy princes and princesses in Auradon- but that was fine.

You could wait, right?

You went up the dock of the Lost Revenge, meeting with your crew. Uma, the leader, Harry Hook, the first mate, Gil LeGume, the second mate, and you- the third mate. You certainly weren’t offended by your role, and your cleverness and cunning certainly weren’t ignored, but you would’ve thought Harry, your arguably best friend, could’ve gotten you just a slightly higher role, eh?

“Ah, [Y/N], my love! We’ve been waitin’ on ye’.“ Harry said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You snapped your sharp teeth at your friend, the only thing left of your lion bone structure, but he didn’t back off. Why would he? He knew you’d never hurt him. You’d proved that when you were both eleven and couldn’t bring yourself to bite him in the throat when he stole your food.

“Woah, there, tiger! Gil said. You sent a warning glare at him. “Sorry, lion-”

You smiled and nodded at the annoyingly common misconception, before noting the absence of Ursula’s daughter. That’s when you’d remembered- she’d been gone for weeks now. You frowned, but quickly fixed your face back into your permanent scowl.

“I see yer’ missin’ Uma,” Harry said, looking at you softly. He frowned, a look not exactly custom for Harry- you liked the insane smirk more, personally, considering he’d found he look at age thirteen and he’d fortunately stuck to it for your viewing pleasure- “we are too.” He said gesturing to Gil and himself.

“Yeah. Where could she be anyway? Whenever she vanishes, she usually comes back pretty fast.” You scoffed.

“Yeah, I know,” Harry said. “But- I got some good news for ye’, darlin’. Mal and her little crew are back- and we got their bikes.” He grinned at you.

You knew you probably should’ve been more excited at the prospect of the bikes that could get you out of the Isle, but when he mentioned Mal, that’s when you perked up. “Mal? Mal’s back?” You said, sounding like a happy puppy- or, a cat would be more accurate considering your heritage.

It made Harry sick to his stomach.

Mal had left you for that prissy Auradon place, and you still loved her. He truly couldn’t understand it. Cats weren’t supposed to be loyal- that was a dog's job. He snickered to himself- maybe he should tell that one to Carlos if they ran into each other- bloody hell, he was such a lap dog, Harry was surprised he was the kid of someone who hated dogs so avidly.

But, back on topic- “why are ye’ so excited over that bratty dragon’s return? She left ye’, remember?” Harry asked, almost angrily.

“I- Harry, she said she’d come back. And she did!” You said, eyes hopeful. Harry just gagged.

“Whatever. Gil, [Y/N]-” Harry forced his smirk back onto his face, “we ride with the tide- right into Auradon.”

You all cheered.

///

You three most definitely weren’t expecting to meet with The Core Four the second you reached the bridge separating the hell of the Isle and heaven of Auradon. But, you were focused on Mal- she looked so different...less evil.

You hated that. Your partner in crime turned into a pretty princess. What a shame.

You shook your mind of your thoughts. “Well, what do we have here?” You said, strutting gracefully towards the four VKs gone good. “If it isn’t our own band of VKs- or, ahem, forgive me, AKS.” You said, scowling as you jabbed a finger into Mal’s chest. You couldn’t help but chortle when the blue gem was dropped from her hand. “Whoopsies! How...clumsy of me.”

“[Y/N]! That was Hade’s Ember! Oh, what do I-” Mal raved about the Ember, and you scowled. What the fuck? She couldn’t even say she missed you, she was so absorbed in that Ember, goddamnit-

“Drop something?” You heard a familiar voice, and you grinned, and then, in unison, you, Harry, and Gil yelled out your praises.

“Uma!”

“That’s my name~,” She said, and you happily clasped your hands with Harry’s. Harry refused to let a blush slide across his face. Refused.

Mal held her hand out to Uma, who was holding the Hadesforsaken blue stone. “Uma, I need that.” Your girlfriend- was she even that, anymore?- said.

“And why should she give it to you? For all we know, you’ll just abandon it on an island somewhere-” You glared at her. “Like you abandoned me.” Uma put a hand on your shoulder, trying to comfort you, but you went on, Harry watching almost enthusiastically.

“Sure, Uma’ll will give you the Ember- for a trade.” You said, tearing a gold band Mal had stolen from Jafar’s shop off your finger. “You see this? It’s worthless because you broke a promise. So why do I need a ring?” You said, chucking it into the murky depths, refusing to shed a tear. You didn’t know why you were suddenly so aware of Mal’s wrongdoings- maybe Harry’s speech did a number on you.

Harry grinned but made it so you couldn’t see. And on went the trade.

///

You felt yourself waking up from something. Your joints were stiff and pained, and you saw that you were accompanied by some of your companions- Evie, Carlos...

“What happened?” You asked, before memories flooded back into your head. The moving fucking knights, the berry bush with Jay, Gil, And Harry, Mal closing the fucking Barrier- wait. “Shit. Where’s Mal? Where’s Harry? Where’s-”

“Right ‘ere, love.” You heard a Scottish accent from behind you, and almost instinctively, your arms wrapped around Harry’s frame. You weren’t overly affectionate by any means, but seeing Harry okay was a huge relief.

“Jesus Christ, Harry- I gotta find Mal-” You said, about to sprint off but somehow Harry caught you by the collar, your cat-like reflexes not working to your advantage. “Goddamnit, Harry-”

“No, [Y/N]. I’m tired of hearin’ ye’ go on about Mal. She’s not yours, anymore, okay? She’s with Ben, and she’s gonna pop out a bunch of prissy princes and princesses out with ‘im. She forgot about ye’, [Y/N], why can’t ye’ see that?” Harry went on.

“Because, she-” You thought for a moment. She had left you, hadn’t she? When she left for Auradon, she never even tried to send a letter. When she came back for Ben, she’d barely acknowledged you. And now? She was so absorbed with her rivalry with Uma, she barely knew you were there. “She...she left me...” You said, voice cracking. Harry held you close to him. “She...left....me...”

You felt like you were in a cliche romance novel they had in Auradon; the main character comes to grips that her former love interest doesn’t love her anymore and the main character finds love in the current love interest- but, maybe that was just how it was gonna play out.

“I didn’t- Harry, you wouldn’t leave me, would you? Right?” You just needed that final confirmation, jesus christ-

And suddenly, you felt lips crash against yours. You didn’t realize how much you missed the hugs and pecks Mal used to give you until you found yourself gripping onto Harry tightly and running your hands through his hair, because fuck, that felt nice.

You pulled away from him, smiling. He finally responded to your question. “That an answer, love?” Harry asked. You leaned your head against his chest, smiling softly.

“Yeah, I ‘spose it is.” You sighed contentedly. Maybe he could treat you better than Mal ever did.

He’d gotten the physical aspect right.

[descendantofthesparrow]

A Toxic Promise- Harry Hook x reader

A Toxic Promise- Harry Hook x reader

 Hey! So I have an idea for a Harry Hook x reader, could you base it off the song everytime by Ariana Grande? It’s basically about them being in a toxic relationship and they know it’s toxic but they always go back to each other no matter what because, when it’s good it’s really good, but when it’s bad, it’s evil. Hope you like it! 💘

 request from @therottencorevk hope you like it!!!!

Key

 h/c- hair color

 e/c- eye color

 h/l- hair length

 s/c- skin color

 y/n- your name

(a/n: choose your own villain parent, and also I didn't expect for this to be as long as it is…. I got carried away :p also not a lot of dialogue in the beginning)

---

I cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them

And then it was clear

I can't deny, I really miss him

To think that I was wrong

I guess you don't know what you got 'til it's gone

Pain is just a consequence of love

I'm saying sorry for the sake of us

(y/n) sat in her dorm on Auradon, singing to herself, looking out at the Isle, tears blurring her vision, thinking about the boy she had left behind, but she had to, it was just getting too much for her…for him..for them.

He wasn't my everything 'til we were nothing

And it's taking me a lot to say

Now that he's gone, my heart is missing something

So it's time I push my pride away

'Cause you are, you are

You are my everything

You are, you are

You are my everything

It was toxic, what they had, a pirate who strived to be like his father, and a girl who wanted to be more than her mother, to be better, and your different mindsets set off many fights, and many separations, but you both always, always came back to each other, and you both knew it wasn’t good for you, for both of you, but when it was good, it was heavenly, but when it was bad, it was hell. But neither of you could truly break it, So you had to make a decision…when you got the letter, the one to go to auradon, you took it.

You left, you left without saying goodbye, you knew if you tried you wouldn’t be able to leave, his beautiful ocean blue eyes staring sadly at you begging you not to go. So you left, leaving a letter for him, stating you were sorry and you did love him, but you couldn’t handle the toxic relationship anymore.

You sighed and glanced down at the ring placed on your right ring finger

A promise ring

You remember the day he gave it to you, it was after a really bad fight, and you had distanced yourself from him to get some space

--

Harry sheepishly stood in front of you, a crimson ring in his hand,

You scowled at him “what do you want hook”

His shoulders slumped and he licked his lips before opening them to speak

“im sorry lass, I didn’t mean what I said, ye know that I would never mean that”

You glanced down at the floor and whispered

“promise?”

Harry kneeled down in front of you and slid the ring onto your right hand

“I promise”

--

A Toxic Promise, that’s what that was, because, within the next week, he broke it, and again you distanced yourself, but he didn’t get the opportunity to apologize, because when he tried to, you were already halfway to auradon.

You watched as a tear splashed down on the gem, you knew that, for as long as you would live, you loved Harry Hook.

----

She wasn't my everything 'til we were nothing

And it's taking me a lot to say

Now that she's gone, my heart is missing something

So it's time I push my pride away

'Cause you are, you are

You are my everything

You are, you are

You are my everything

Uma stared at Harry who had his face buried in his arms staring out at auradon, singing to himself, wishing for the bright-eyed (h/c) girl to come back to him, he knew why she left, but there would always be sadness deep in his heart.

I know you're not far, but I still can't handle all the distance

You're traveling with my heart

I hope this is a temporary feeling

'Cause it's too much to bear without you

And I know sorry ain't the cure

If I cross your mind, just know I'm yours

'Cause what we got is worth fighting for

'Cause you are

He sang softly to himself, eyes burning and his heart hurting, he wanted you back, even if it meant he had to give up on being as bad as his dad, and going to boradon. Even if it meant he had to stop his evil ways and become a better person, not toxic, he would do it in a heartbeat.

He didn’t know how much he needed her until she was gone, she left with the rotten four, all those months ago.

“Harry?”

He turned to see Uma, who stared at with sympathy.

She reached forward and grasped his shoulder

“are you okay?” Uma asked

Harry shook his head numbly “no im not” he murmured

Uma scrunched her face in worry, knowing why her first mate was in such a slump, (y/n), the girl he had a loving but toxic relationship with, had left with the VKs six months ago, she was the only one Uma didn’t feel was a traitor, because (y/n) deserved to get out, she just wished she, Harry, and Gil could have gone with her.

Uma shook her head to clear it and jolted Harry around to get his attention,

“Hey, go do your route, you need to do something other than staring at Auradon”

Harry sighed, nodded, and grabbed his hook, hat and sword and made his way to curl up and dye for the first place on the payment route.

…

He pushed through the plastic door curtain thing and moved his gaze to dizzy who was about to put money in her cash register

“fork it over ya runt”

Dizzy shoulders slumped and hesitantly placed the money in his outstretched hand, he then tapped the counter with his hook

“and the rest of it~”

Dizzy pressed her lips together and opened the register and pressed the cash into his hand.

“m~ thank ye~ mmM~!” Harry spoke, muffled by the cash in his mouth

As he was making his way out, a familiar voice spoke

“still running errands for Uma? Or do you get to keep what you steal?”

Harry stopped in his tracks, slowly turning to see the once again purple haired bitch that took his (y/n) with her, rage and anger filling his mind

‘Mal.’

“well well well~ what a nice surprise~” Harry called out, false happiness filling his voice.

Mal stared at him Bordley

“Hi Harry”

He stalked towards her, a predatory look in his eyes

“just WAIT till Uma hears your back~” he glanced her body, looking for weak spots “shes never going to give you back your territory~”

Mal glared at him, “oh, well that’s okay because I will be taking it” she added smoothly

Harry let out a breathy chuckle and brushed his hook through her

“I could hurt you”

Mal grabbed his arm, causing him to tense and glare at her.

She smirked, took the gum out of her mouth and placed it on the tip of his hook

“not without upsetting (y/n)”

Harry stared at Mal for a few seconds in shock before smirking at her and plucking the gum from his hook with his mouth and made his way back to the door, before pausing at the doorway

“um..hows-“

Mal interrupted him, voice softer, and sympathetic.

“shes…surviving…she still loves you, never takes off that ring.”

Harry nodded, happy to hear that, and rushed back to the shop to tell Uma that Mal was back.

---

You sat in the limo, with Carlos, Jay, Evie, and Ben, riding back to your home….to Harry.

‘what happens if I run into him? Hows he gonna react? Does his still-‘

Your thoughts were interrupted by Evie calling for you to get out of the car, you scrambled out and as soon as your feet planted on the Isle floor you gaze immediately went to the pipe that led to the pirate's cove

‘Harry’

“whats down here?!”

Your head snapped to see Ben standing at the entrance of the pipe and Carlos pulled him away, Jay telling him he didn’t want to know.

You five walked down to the fours hideout and soon ben separated and decided to be “kingly”

Jay and Carlos ran up and pushed ben back and glared down at the man who tried to punch bens lights out

“Ben stop just stop!” Evie snapped at him

“why?” ben asked confusedly

Evie rolled her eyes “this isn't a parade, it’s the Isle!”

“keep your hands in your pockets unless your stealing” Jay informed

“you either slouch or strut” Carlos added

“and never ever smile” you finished

Ben looked at you four at nodded

“okay thank-“

“no!” Evie interrupted

“no thank yous, and drop the please too, just…chill”

Let me tell you something you can really trust~

-

---im not writing chilling like a villain so im just skipping to were ben runs into Gil---

-

As ben strutted forward humming the song he bumped into Gil

‘shit!’ your mind went into haywire and you quickly hid behind Jay, knowing if Gil saw you he’d tell Harry and then Harry would look for you

“hey man!” Gil exclaimed “hey,..hey I know you!” he finished

“uh” ben looked back at us, seeing us surrounding him and he replied back

“no, don’t know you either man”

Gil furrowed his brows in confusion

“uhhh yeah ya do? Come on man”

You looked over Jay's shoulder to see Gil trying to convince Ben that they knew each other

“really? Eh? Dude ill give you a hint! My dad is quick slick and his, neck ehhh~ is incredibly thick!!!”

Ben looked at Evie, realizing that he had just encountered the son of his dads worst enemy.

“come on man-“ Gil spotted a poster on the wall and pointed between ben and the poster soon realizing that

“ohh you’re king ben!!!”

Evie, Jay, and Carlos rushed forward pushing Ben to get out of there leaving you in the open

“(Y/N)!!! you're here too!?”

You pressed your lips together

“uhh yep im back”

“oh my god you don’t know how much harry misses you!!! He won't stop talking about how much he loves you and he wishes he could just see you again and how he would be the happiest man alive!!!!”

(yeah I know Gils talking a lot but he doesn't know when to stop)

Your chest filled with warmth, happy that Harry still loved you as you did him

“do you want me to tell him?”

You smiled and nodded

“yeah go ahead, tell him I miss him too kay?”

You gave a fist bump to Gil before making your way to ben and the others

Gil grinned and watched you walk only to see who you were walking to

“Oh wait, Jay, Evie, Carlos, you’re all here too! Hey guys!” he stopped for a few moments before bouncing

“ohhh, Umas gonna love this!!!!”

---

When you arrived Jay threw a rock at the sign and Ben headed up the stairs to mal,

“(y/n)?” Evie's voice broke through the silence

You glanced up at her “hmm?”

“..what did Gil mean about Harry?”

You twidled with your fingers avoiding the question

“(y/n).”

You sighed and fessed up

“Harry and I were in a relationship”

“WHAT?!” they screamed and Evie opened her mouth to start firing off questions but was interrupted by Ben coming back downstairs

“so.” Asked Evie “wheres Mal?”

Ben shook his head “she's not coming back”

“what!?” Evie gasped “I’ll talk to her”

Evie grasped onto the phone thing and emplored Mal to talk to her

“M?...Mal its Evie, let me just talk to you for a second”

“GO AWAY!”

Evies slumped in defeat and Jay grasped her shoulder in support

“let's give her a couple hours to cool off”

You crossed your arms and looked down the way Ben walked off to but were unable to locate him

“guys!” you alerted them

“wheres Ben?”

Carlos frowned at you

“what are you talking about Bens…right….there.”

Evie walked to you and looked down the alleyway calling for Ben

“Ben?...Ben!”

The four of you saw a dark shadow making its way towards and the three Vks sighed in relief, all except you, you narrowed your eyes…you knew that shadow.

“Ben don’t scare us like that!”

“don’t scare you!”

Your breath caught in your throat,

“Harry” you whispered

“That’s my specialty!”

His voice cut through the Isle like butter, sending your heart through simultaneous, erratic beating, and calming it down at the same time, a soft blush covering your cheeks

“What did you do with Ben?!” Jay growled at him

“oh eh, we nicked him” Harry hummed happily

“and If you want to see him again~ have Mal and (y/n) come to the chip shop tonight”

His crystal blue ocean eyes landed on you, voice and eyes softening slightly

“alone”

He returned his attention back to the other three VKs, his voice hardening once more

“Uma wants a little vist~” he sang

He gave Jay a snarky smirk

“aw Jay~” Harry pouted and gave an insane laugh

“seems like you’ve lost your touch~”

Jay tried to lunge at Harry but Evie held him back gesturing to you.

Harry turned to you, grasped your hand, lifted it up to his lips, and pressed a light kiss to it, smiling softly at you.

“see ye there lass”

You bit your lip and turned, seeing Evie smirking at you and the boys having a face like

W.T.F!?

You started to speak before Evie stopped you

“well talk about you and Harry later, right now we have to tell mal.”

“Yeah, that'd be the best option” you stated and the four of you headed up the stairs to tell mal about the deal breaker with Uma.

---

Harry paced the floor of the shop, tapping a beat on his thighs, anxiety about REALLY meeting you again pounding on his mind

“Im baack~”

Harry's head snapped up to see Mal and….you

Your gorgeous (e/c) eyes locked with his and a flash of electricity ran through your bodies as soon as you locked eyes.

“Harry!”

He jumped and saw Uma with her arms crossed

“well you wanted her here, go do what you wanted to do!”

“uh, oh um yeah right on it” he stammered and walked up to you, grasped your hand and led you back outside the shop

You both walked for a few moments, holding each other's hands, Harry's thumb rubbing the back of yours.

Harry sighed and tugged at your hand, causing you to stop.

“Harry?” you murmured

“(y/n), we need to talk”

He took your hands in yours and took a deep breath

“I want to try again”

“try what again?” you asked

“I” he reached up to cup your cheek brushing your (s/c) skin “I want to try us again”

“Oh Harry” you whispered, “we can't, it-“

“why can't we!” he cried “I love ye and I want to try again!”

“Harry” you whimpered “it was too much, we’d love each other one moment, and then we were at each other's throat the next! It was a toxic relationship!”

“yes, I know!” Harry snapped, tears in his eyes “and I finally figured out why it was toxic!”

You made a face and urged him to go on

“our parents were putting so much pressure on us so we redirected the anger we felt from it onto each other!”

Harry wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest.

“Please, I’ll even go to boradon for ye, please…I just want to hold ye, to kiss ye again! So please”

Harry pressed his forehead to yours and tears slipped down both your faces

“so just” he whispered “just let me love ye again”

You pushed away from him and looked up at the handsome Scottish boy, glancing at his lips, before speaking once more

“…how do I know you're not making another toxic promise?”

Harry sniffed and wiped his nose before drawing back from and handing you his silver hook, which oh so long ago, had started a fight.

You gasped in surprise, as he was so protective of his hook, he never even let you hold it, sometimes seeming that he cared about the hook more than he did about you.

“here, I know this was a basis of one of our fights so…its yours to decide on what to do with it, ye can keep it, give it away, give it back, hell ye can even destroy it”

He tipped your chin up so he could stare into your eyes

“because you're more important than that stupid hook, or what anyone thinks of me, yours is the only opinion that matters, and I kept denying that before”

Your mind flashed back to one of your biggest fights

---

“DON’T I MATTER! WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT YOU!!!”

“BECAUSE IM THE SON OF CAPTAIN HOOK AND THEY NEED TO SEE ME AS A HEARTLESS PIRATE THAN A LOVING WEAKLING”

“WHY!!!! I LOVE YOU THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH!”

“WELL, IT ISNT!!”

---

That was about a month before you left, but…if Harry was willing to give up on become the baddest pirate captain and become just like his father, and willing to truly let your love in…you could give him one more chance

“okay Harry” his head snapped up and a bright light filled his eyes,

“you have one more chance, don’t screw it up”

Harry tears of sorrow turned to joy, and he let out sobs of relief.

You laughed out your own tears and pressed your lips to his, pure love and passion filling the kiss that had been missed for six months

Maybe even your toxic relationship could become a blooming flower that would never wilt.

 She/he  wasn't my everything 'til we were nothing

And it's taking me a lot to say

Now that she's gone, my heart is missing something

So it's time I push my pride away

'Cause you are, you are

You are my everything

You are, you are

You are my everything

       And it did

 ---the end~---

   If yall don't get the end, here's an explanation, Harry goes to auradon with (y/n) and every time either of them gets frustrated or angry they don't take it out on each other, they talk it out and find healthy ways to release it. so it goes from a toxic relationship to a healthy one.

 Hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!

[larksinging]

hey it’s @transrobro ‘s birthday today! happy birthday jay!!!

i thought it was only appropriate to take two of their favorite things and mash them together: rvb and rwby! actually this is based on an au jay came up with, i just expanded a few details for this fic. even so i hope you enjoy! 

now for the sappy part: jay not a day goes by that im not happy i started talking to you more. youve been such a wonderful presence in my life and someone i am just always made better by knowing. and this year youve done a lot to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself and i am SO proud of you for that! i hope you have a great birthday today because you have absolutely earned it 

The metals doors slide open and Alaska steps into the briefing room, the white of her armor tinged in glittery blue from the holographic projections. She steps up to her appropriate spot at the edge of the table, not quite interrupting the Director and everyone he’s gathered. Her stance is stiff and formal. 

“Agent Alaska reporting for duty, sir.” She holds her posture as a few other Freelancers on the other side of the table glance up at her.

She thought she’d be the first one here, but obviously she’d been beaten. If she wasn’t at attention, she’d go stand with Michigan and her red-and-gold armor. Already gathered as well are Arkansas and Oklahoma, but you always see their green and pink together. There’s also BM and Vermont, and she thinks she even sees Hawaii in the corner. 

“Ah, Alaska,” The Director drawls, “Good timing. We were just about to begin. You wouldn’t want to be late for your own mission briefing.” 

“Of course not,” Alaska agrees. She can almost feel Hawaii rolling her eyes. 

“Very good. In that case, let’s begin.” He pulls up the holographic image of some kind of alien ruin. “You’ll be recovering some artifacts from this crash site. Since they require simultaneous extraction, I’m sending two teams.” 

He spins the image and highlights something in one of the lower sections. “Agent Alabama and Agent Hawaii--” He nods and the two of them step forward, “You’ll be recovering the first artifact.” 

“No problem,” BM drawls. Hawaii nods in agreement. 

“Meanwhile, Alaska.” He moves the hologram to highlight a spot at the top of a spire. Of course she’s always sent on the missions with heights. “You’ll be working with...” 

Michigan, she internally begs. Michigan’s never dropped below second place, when she even drops below first. Either Okhlahoma or Arkansas would be fine two, they’re both skilled. Vermont’s pretty sweet and shy, but good in the field, so she’d take her. Or even Tenessse, despite her dramatic flair, is hell with a gatling.  As long as it’s not Rhode Island and his stupid crush. Or worse yet...

“Sorry I’m late! There was, um, kind of a problem with the lockers, and--” Oh no. 

“Agent Oregon,” The Director nearly sneers. “Do try to arrive on time from now on. I’d nearly changed my mind about assigning you to this mission.” Oh no. “You’re working with Agent Alaska. She’ll catch you up on the details.” 

Alaska looks over at her partner. Oregon -- or RG, rather, just like her sister -- has her helmet off and slung lazily in the crook of her arm. It’s as obnoxiously red as the rest of her armor, which honestly makes her look like one of the sim soldiers. And, the worst thing is, RG is beaming at her. 

“Oooh, I’ve always wanted to work with you,” RG says. Alaska braces herself. It’s not the first time people have fawned over her. She joined Project Freelancer to get away from her name, but it turns out a Schnee is still a Schnee, no matter what she goes. 

“Your armor’s ability is so cool and versatile and I have so many combination ideas,” RG is practically bouncing, “And you give great reports.” 

Wait, what?

“Depends on your definition of great,” BM mumbles as she passes, patting RG on the back and nearly knocking her over. Which nearly knocks her into Alaska. She hurriedly shoves RG off of her and dusts herself off. 

“Let’s get going,” Alaska simply says and turns on her heels. 

-

While technically the mission was a success, Alaska’s not satisfied with it. Her own performance didn’t so much as nudge her score. No doubt because she was spending most of the mission bickering with her partner. If it hadn’t been for her suit’s enhancements, RG would’ve never made it up the side of the building. 

Green flickers in the corner of her vision. “I believe you’re overthinking this, Agent Alaska,” Omicron says. 

“I’m not overthinking this,” She snaps, “I’m thinking about this a perfectly reasonable amount. I--” 

“Ooh, is that your AI?” 

Alaska’s head snaps up as RG approaches her. Alaska closes her locker and glares. Omicron clears his throat in amusement and then flickers away before she can glare. It doesn’t matter, because her eyes catch on RG pulling off her helmet. In the light of the briefing room she didn’t see how RG’S short black hair is tipped with red that can’t be natural, or how she has striking silver eyes that almost look through her. Alaska swallows thickly. 

“Yes,” She replies stiffly.

“That’s cool. I’ve got Psi here.” An AI flickers into place next to RG, faintly hazel in color. He waves to Alaska, who frowns. 

“Wait, you already have an AI?” 

“Yeah, I guess?” RG rubs the back of her neck. “The Director thought I was ready.” 

“I thought you just joined the program,” Alaska says through grit teeth, “And you already have an AI? There’s no way you’ve earned that.” 

“Whoa, hey,” RG narrows her eyes, “What’s with you? I just wanted to talk to you because I wanted to find someone else who understood. I mean, Michigan’s got... Epsilon, right?” 

“Kappa.” 

“--Right, and Hawaii and my sister are up soon, but...” 

“You think I want to talk to you?” Alaska can see Psi getting nervous, and Omicron activating to try and calm her, but she ignores them. “After your stunt on the mission?” 

“Hey, that worked out! We were fine!” 

“No thanks to you!” A part of her knows that isn’t entirely true, but she doesn’t want to admit it. “You’ve been trying to aggravate me all day! Ever since you mocked my reports--” 

“I wasn’t mocking you,” RG interrupts her, now deadly sincere. “I actually meant what I said? I like your reports.” 

Alaska stares. “What?” 

“You put more detail into them than anyone else.” RG rocks back on her heels and shrugs. “Yeah, they’re really long, but some of the stuff you include is really useful. Like the other week I read your report on the Chorus mission, and you were the only one who included the exact model of vehicle that Hawaii caught. Sooo I could look it up and calculate the tensile strength on that ribbon-gun she likes, so I could give suggestions for that combo move she uses with BM!” 

“The one they use all the time?” Alaska blinks at her. “You came up with that?”

“Yeah.” 

“And you figured it out because of my notes?” 

“Yeah!” 

Nobody’s ever complimented her on that before. Not genuinely. Everyone thinks she’s pretentious and too focused on her rank, but she just wants to be thorough. And here’s this newbie prodigy telling her how good they are. Something bubbles in her chest, but Alaska can’t put a name to it. 

“Maybe I’ve misjudged you,” She admits slowly. “Would you... like to spar sometime? I could give you feedback on your form, or something like that.” 

The smile slowly spreads across RG’s face. “I’d really like that.” 

-

Anyway, the rest of that is a story for another time. Too bad, I know.

Instead, let me paint you a picture: it’s late afternoon and yet the moon rises high over the walls of the gulch. Alaska goes off on patrol, but so little happens in this box canyon that she’s really just using the excuse to get away from BM and Hawaii being obnoxious and obvious back at Red base. 

She goes up along one of the cliff trails that run along the sides of the gulch. This one leads to a nice vantage point of Blue Base, which is a great strategic advantage for no purpose. They’re only play fighting with Rhode and the rest of Blue Team. Really, it’s just a nice spot for some peace and quiet. 

Except that RG’s already beaten Alaska there. RG sits at the edge of the overlook with her feet swinging off the edge, her sniper rifle laid neatly beside her. 

Alaska hesitates for a moment. RG glances back and notices her, then simply scoots to the side a little bit. Alaska takes the invitation and sits carefully beside RG, her own knees tucked closer to her chest. 

“Do you ever wonder why we’re here?” RG asks. 

“I was going to ask you why you were out here,” Alaska counters. 

“That’s not what I meant!” “What did you mean?”

“I mean, why are we here in this random canyon?” 

Alaska frowns behind her helmet. “I thought... random was the point?” 

“Mmmm. I guess so.” RG leans back and tilts her head up to the sky. “This place is kind of nice at night.” 

“Do you... come out here a lot at night?” 

“Sometimes. Sometimes it’s nice to stargaze. Even though I don’t recognize any of the constellations here.” 

“I could teach you sometime.” 

RG looks over at her. “What?” 

“My sister taught me the constellations. Even ones in the far reaches of the galaxy, like here.” Alaska looks up at the sky, purposefully not looking directly at RG. “I could show you, sometime.” 

“I’d really like that, Alaska.” 

“You can thank me for it later.” 

They say later, but they stay until the sun sets. In the darkness, nobody will see if their hands overlap. 

[fortheloveofpearlet]

I'm not the one who asked about Famelet, but I just remembered how their friendship is beautiful. I'm having some bad time now..Im bipolar and have anxiety and in one of my depression phases, and it is not helping that my best friend has recently cut me off. So, i was thinking about a Famelet drabble(them not being famous)with Jason in a depression phase&suicidal and Kurtis hugging&talking with him, trying to comfort him. Thank you so much, your stories distract me from my dark thoughts x

Thank you darling! Currently not taking requests.I’m sorry this has taken so long lovely. I hope you are feeling better and I’ve said to you before you’re always welcome to message me if you need to talk 😘 This is a friendship fic mostly and contains depictions of self-harm, suicide attempts and some homophobic language. It starts super angsty but there is a happy fluffy ending 😊

Jason was at breaking point. He’d been here before, way too many times to count. If he really wanted to he could figure it out, he’d just need to count his scars. Each one that embedded into his flesh were painful reminders of times in Jason’s life he wished he could forget. He carried his scars everywhere he went. Maybe one day if he ever got passed this he would wear them as badges of honour. Maybe one day when things were less bleak he could look at them and smile and say, I survived. But for now the thought of survival wasn’t very comforting. Survival was the last thing Jason wanted.

Growing up was hard for Jason. He’d always been ‘different’, always found it hard to fit in even within his own family. His parents didn’t understand him. His peers didn’t understand him. Hell, half the time he didn’t even understand himself. He was a shy little gay kid obsessed with fashion and all things flamboyant. He couldn’t supress that within him even if he tried. People called him names when he turned up at his catholic high school in his altered school uniform. Weirdo, faggot, freak and other such words were uttered under breaths on a daily basis as he entered school. It didn’t get a lot better when he got home. His parents always looked at him as though there was something wrong with him. He would over hear his mother and father talking about him at night. There’s something wrong with Jason. Why can’t he just be a normal kid?Jason had never felt normal. He was anything but normal. But all he wanted in this world was to be normal. Things would be easier that way he thought. If he was normal maybe his parents would like him. Maybe he would have more than one friend, fellow weirdo Kurtis. If he was normal maybe he wouldn’t be constantly battling with the idea of ending it all.

Why was I born this way?

He stared down at the scars lining his inner thighs. He could sit here and recount a memory, an emotion for each of them but even for him that felt too self-destructive. The scars faded in and out of Jason’s vision as the tears hindered his line of sight. They rolled silently and slowly down his porcelain face and down onto his scars. He could taste the salty tears as he chewed his pouted bottom lip. His eyes flickered up from the scars and to the small item in his hand as it caught the light in his bedroom. The item was poised above a clean bit of flesh on his leg. His hands used to shake when he did this; not for a long time. He gently touched his leg with it, not hard enough to break the skin, but he quickly pulled away.

It won’t be enough. It’s never been enough. This won’t end the pain.

He took a deep breath and lifted his hand. He brought the razor blade to a stop at his wrist.

One long, swift cut and it could all finally be over.

He continued chewing on his lip. He hestitated. He wasn’t sure why.

Just do it. End it all. It’ll be so peaceful.

He was gnawing on his lip so hard he split it and he tasted blood. He needed more blood. He wanted to watch the blood seep from his body until there was nothing left.

Sweet release.

'Don’t.’The voice came from behind him, startling Jason a little. He knew instantly who it was and it had nothing to do with recognising his voice. There was only one person in the world who cared enough about Jason to be here right now.'You can’t just bust into my apartment whenever you feel like it Kurtis.’ Jason didn’t turn to look at him, he also didn’t move the blade from his wrist.'I can when I’m worried about you. Don’t do this Jason.’'Get out of here.’'I’m not going anywhere.’ Kurtis took a few more steps into the room closer to Jason.'Well be prepared to see a lot of blood then.’ Jason felt the weight of the bed shift and then he felt Kurtis’ hand on his shoulder.'Please Jason. Please god put the razor down and talk to me.’'What’s the point?’ Jason suddenly turned to look at his friend. His eyes were blood shot and tears continued to roll down his cheeks. His lip was bleeding and Kurtis found himself using his thumb to wipe the blood away.'You promised me Jason.’ He wiped the blood off his thumb on his jeans not caring if it stained.'Yeah well, promises are made to be broken.’ He still held the blade to the skin on his wrist even though he wasn’t looking at it any more. Kurtis knew he had to tread carefully. If he said the wrong thing, one wrong word he knew Jason wouldn’t hesitate in slashing his arm. Kurtis inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly.'You promised me it was the last time. You looked me in the eyes and swore to me you wouldn’t do this to yourself again.’ Kurtis cupped Jason’s face and started stroking at his tear stains. Jason stayed quiet. 'I thought you said you didn’t ever want to go back to that hospital?’'I don’t.’'Well that’s where you’re gonna end up if you do this again Jay. They let you out because they thought you were better. If you hurt yourself again there going to keep you in longer.’'That’s not going to happen.’ Jason shook his head and shuffled backwards out of Kurtis’ hold. 'I’m not going back to the hospital. This time it’s over. This time you won’t be able to visit.’Kurtis’ blood ran cold. He knew what Jason meant.'Don’t say that.’'Why not? It’s true. No hospitals. Only a fucking grave.’Kurtis felt his own tears well behind his eyes as Jason jumped up from the bed. He started waving his arms about, the razor still clutched between his fingers.'I can’t do it anymore Kurtis! I can’t fucking cope. I feel like I can’t breathe, I feel like I’m suffocating. I need the pain to be gone, I need for everything to just go away. I need peace!’ Jason’s voice was raised as he frantically moved about his room. Kurtis’ heart was breaking for his best friend. He’d always known Jason had issues but this was the worst he’d ever seen him. Kurtis pushed himself up from the bed but didn’t dare move any closer yet.'Jason, you have to believe me when I say it gets better.’'Bull.’ Jason scoffed. 'You’ve been telling me that for years and it’s never gotten better! It gets worse Kurtis! It always gets fucking worse!’ He leant against the wall and placed the blade to his wrist again.'Jason,’ Kurtis’ tone was very stern all of a sudden. 'You don’t want to do this.’'Fuck you! You don’t know what I want!’ Jason yelled staring down at his wrist now.'If you wanted it to be over you would have ended it by now.’ Kurtis knew that was a risky thing to say. He knew that could push Jason over the edge. He knew his words could have led him to witness his friends suicide. But it could also go the other way. Kurtis hadn’t had time to weigh up the risks and rewards. He just hoped it worked the way he wanted it to. Jason’s eyes fluttered upwards and met Kurtis’. His brown was furrowed and he kept his hand firmly in place.'What the fuck does that mean?’ His voice was lower again.'If you really wanted to end it you would have. I saw you when I came in, you were hesitating. There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to do this. You need to listen to that part of you Jason. There’s a tiny shred of hope still in you, I know there is. Fight back against the dark thoughts. Don’t let them win.’ Kurtis took a few steps forward.'Don’t come any closer!’ Jason raised his voice again. His tears were falling heavier now. 'Don’t fucking come any closer. You take one more step and I swear to god I’m gonna do it. Just turn around and walk away Kurtis. Pretend you never saw me. Leave now or you’ll have to watch me die.’Kurtis took a few deep breaths. He knew what he was about to do was another risky move but he knew he had to do it. His legs shook but he managed to step closer to Jason. Jason looked from Kurtis, to the blade and back again.'Give me the blade Jason.’ Kurtis was amazed how calm he sounded.'No.’ Jason sounded like a scared child.'Give me the blade.’ Kurtis repeated.'No.’ Jason’s bottom lip quivered. Kurtis took a few more deep breaths before he slowly reached his hand towards Jason. Jason whined a little as Kurtis’s hand latched around his arm. He was slow in his movements as he guided Jason’s hand that held the blade away from his wrist. He was even slower when he used his free hand to pry the blade from Jason’s finger tips. Jason’s grip on it was lose and Kurtis got the blade from his hand and put it down on the side. Seconds later Jason fell into his arms, sobbing heavily. Kurtis threw his arms around his friend and walked them back towards the bed where they both sat down. Jason buried his head into Kurtis’ chest as he cried and cried. Kurtis sat in silence and let him get it out of his system. He rubbed little circles between Jason’s shaking shoulders and placed the occasional kiss on his head.'It’s ok sweetie, I’m here. It’s all going to be ok.’ Kurtis would whisper periodically, ensuring Jason knew he wasn’t going anywhere. Jason felt frail in his arms, like the small, scared little boy he was on the inside. His whole body practically vibrated through shaking and crying. Kurtis felt like his heart was tearing in two. He hated seeing Jason so broken. Each time Jason got like this Kurtis prayed it would be the last time.

Please god make him better this time. Please god let him get better.

He wasn’t a religious man but he’d try just about anything to help fix his best friend.

The room fell quiet. Jason’s sobs subsided into small sniffles mostly muffled by Kurtis’ shirt. Kurtis continued to hold him. Eventually he stopped shaking. Finally he stopped crying. Kurtis never stopped holding him.

When Jason looked up at him, his eyes were more blood shot than they had been earlier. He sniffed and chewed his lip. Kurtis kept one arm around his body and used the other to stroke Jason’s hair back off his face.'How do you feel?’ Kurtis whispered.'Exhausted.’ Jason admitted. 'Always exhausted.’Kurtis wiped the damp patches on Jason’s face and kissed his forehead.'I swear to you Jason it’s going to get better.Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow either but one day. And I promise you I will be by your side every step of the way. You’re my best friend, I’m not going to let the darkness beat you even when you want it to.’ Kurtis smiled softly at the younger man. Jason nodded his head ever so slightly. 'When it feels as though the whole world has turned its back on you, I’ll still be here. We’re in this together, I’m not letting you battle this alone. If you try and carry this weight on your own you might not make it. But I’m here to share the weight with you. Together we can get through this ok? We’re going to get you through the dark days and pull you into the light. You, Jason Dardo, are going to beat this. You’re strong and you’re ferocious. You’re a survivor.’ Kurtis gave his forehead another soft kiss. Jason sniffed again but to Kurtis’ surprise he saw a small smile forming on his lips.'I’m a survivor.’ Jason whispered. Kurtis smiled and nodded.'You are sweetie. You’re a survivor.’For the first time in a really long time Kurtis saw a hint of a sparkle behind Jason’s eyes.'I’m a survivor.’ Jason whispered once more. And for the first time in his life, being a survivor didn’t sound like a bad thing anymore.

[jae-bummer]

My Idol: Part Seven

My Idol From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Wednesday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in specific missions to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what three idols will move on to the second date.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 -  Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22

You shifted on your couch again, furrowing your brows as you attempted to focus on the television screen. The cushions you were lounging on had suddenly felt scratchy, uncharacteristically stiff as you attempted to get comfortable. You realized it was useless at this point. The only thing occupying your thoughts was My Idol, and more specifically, the men you had met through it’s dating process. You were terrible at trying to entertain your thoughts and find any sort of solace as your mind kept wandering back to them...

Im Jaebum, the surprisingly soft and sexy leader. As if rewinding an old movie, you thought of the moment when his lips had touched yours, swift and accidental. You recalled the exact shade of blush that consumed his whole face as he looked up from the ice, just as surprised at his action as you were. 

You shook your head, your mind immediately launching to the cheerful Kim Taehyung, who was already planning your second date during your first. You smiled as you thought of his large hand incasing yours, so focused on protecting you and making sure you were comfortable at all times. 

And last your mind wandered to Jay. What a rollercoaster of emotions his date had been. You closed your eyes so tightly that you began to see stars, unsure if you wanted to recall the dates conclusion. He had kissed you, gently and deliberately, making sure he left an impression on you. 

And the viewers. 

You bit your lip, opening your eyes. You knew he had kissed you for the fan votes...but ultimately, didn’t that mean he had kissed you because he wanted to see you again?

Sighing, you looked at the time displayed on your phone screen. You would be meeting this week’s idol at a coffee shop about a block away. It was an after dinner date that would go into the night, the first of it’s kind during your stint on the show. Almost as if on cue, a heavy knock landed on your door, signaling the arrival of the camera crew. 

Three down. Four more to go. You could do this. 

“Hey guys,” you sighed, looking at Armpit and Sweaty respectively. They nodded to you, stepping backwards as you exited your apartment and locked it up. “Nice night for a walk isn’t it?”

“I’m not big on walking,” Sweaty grunted, following behind you as you shuffled down the hallway and out onto the sidewalk. 

“Good thing you have a job that requires a ton of it then,” you muttered, digging your hands deep into your pockets. “Do I get any hints on who my date is tonight?”

“Yeah, it’s an idol,” Sweaty spat, chuckling at himself. He elbowed Armpit to join along in the laughter, but Armpit simply rolled his eyes. 

“Wow, you should probably quit your job immediately and become a stand up comedian,” you hissed, looking over your shoulder to glare at him. “You have an unexplored talent there.” 

Sweaty began to grumble to himself beneath his breath, barely able to keep up with your quick steps. You were anxious to see who you would be meeting tonight, but it was also incredibly cold outside. You continued your trek in silence, only speaking when you began to approach the destination. 

“Alright, hold on,” Armpit heaved, attempting to catch his breath. “Let us set up a little bit before you go in.”

“Can’t you set up inside?” you whispered, your breath appearing in the air before you. “I can’t very well go on a date if I’m frostbitten.”

“Quit being dramatic,” Sweaty argued. “It’ll only be a few minutes.”

You rolled your eyes as you stopped in front of the coffeeshop and looked up. “Momo Coffee” the sign read in bright letters. You furrowed your brows, searching your brain for the familiarity of the shop name. 

“Momo coffee...momo coffee...” you whispered, chewing on your lip. “Oh! Monsta X!” You spun on your heel, facing the cameramen. “Is it a member of Monsta X?”

The two men looked wearily at each other as they fiddled with different pieces of equipment. “Why would it be Monsta X?” Armpit finally muttered, not bothering to look up. 

“Wonho’s mom owns this shop!” you nodded happily, proud of the fact you had unearthed from the deepest recesses of your brain. 

“Could be a coincidence,” Sweaty mumbled. “If it’s owned by an idol’s mom, wouldn’t other idols know about it?” 

“Well...yeah, but-” you began, but the wind was quickly taken out of your sails. “You guys suck.”

“Yeah well, we think fondly upon you as well,” Armpit sighed, shouldering his camera and jutting his chin out in the direction of the coffee shop. “You can go in now.”

The smell of the coffee shop surrounded your senses, filling you with warmth before you were even out of the cold. You pulled open the door, holding it open for the camera men behind you. You were used to their presence by now and even found yourself looking for them when they weren’t around. You scanned the coffee shop slowly, several patrons turning to look as a bell had jingled upon your entrance. A man sitting at the far side of the cafe looked up as well, his gaze lasering in on you. He wore a mask, so it was difficult to identify his face, but his bangs were fashioned into a comma part, dark brown and wavy. He stood, his eyes disappearing into slits to signify the smile hiding behind his mask. 

“Hey,” he called, quickly approaching you. He bowed politely before tugging the mask off of his face. “I’m Monsta X’s Jooheon.”

You nodded, mildly starstruck for a moment. You were so starstruck in fact, that you didn’t even bother rubbing in your correct guess to Armpit and Sweaty. Monsta X was one of your favorite groups and you were terrified that one of their members could possibly be your date for the evening. 

“What’s your name?” Jooheon smiled, waiting patiently. 

“Sorry, I’m Y/N,” you whispered with a small bow. “Monsta X is my favorite group. I need to calm my nerves for a moment.”

You mentally cringed as the words passed your lips. 

“Oh wow,” Jooheon gasped, his eyebrows shooting up. His kind smile never left his face. “You’re a fan? Here, sit, sit.” 

He waved you to a nearby table and pulled a chair out for you. You gratefully sat down and winced. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound weird. Did I come across as weird?”

Why did you keep talking? Just stop talking, Y/N. 

“Not weird at all, very cute actually,” Jooheon chuckled. “I’ll go get us some coffee. Maybe something warm will clear your thoughts.”

It took everything you had in you not to face palm yourself as Jooheon sauntered away. He looked good, but all of the men you had met so far had. His jacket was swung over the seat across from you and you hesitated, talking yourself out of touching the fabric. That would have been entirely too much...but you did it anyway. 

You looked up at Jooheon’s back as he waited patiently at the counter, smiling at the barista as he pointed to the menu boards. You realized he had never asked what you had wanted, but it probably would have been pointless if he had. You had never been here before and you were sure he had. He turned around, two coffees in hand, and began to shuffle back toward you. You immediately averted your gaze, occupying your attention with one of the signed photos on the wall. 

“Here you go,” he cooed, setting the mug down before you. “I think you’ll like it. It’s pretty sweet, like you.”

You felt your face become hot at his comment. Normally lines like that would never slide past you, but you allowed it with Jooheon. 

“Normally I take my coffee dark,” you whispered, stirring at the contents of the cup. “But sweet can be good too.”

“I can order you something else,” Jooheon gasped, instinctively reaching out for your drink. 

You shook your head, placing a hand protectively over the porcelain and the other over Jooheon’s outstretched hand. You pushed it away gently and smiled. “If it’s a Jooheon recommendation, it will be perfect.”

“Aigoo, don’t put that much pressure on my decisions,” he grinned. “I picked it because the name was cute and Hoseok’s mom drinks it.” 

“This is her shop, right?” you asked, continuing to stir nervously. “Wonho’s mom’s?”

“Yeah, you knew?” Jooheon asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “You really are our fan then.”

“I am,” you nodded with a small smile. 

“So who’s your favorite then?” Jooheon chuckled. You froze for a moment, looking up at him. 

“Do I have to have a favorite?”

“Every fan has a favorite,” he grinned. ‘Even when you say you don’t, your subconscious has made the decision for you.”

You nodded, biting on your lip in thought. “Alright, well you’re my favorite then.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re on a date with me!” Jooheon gasped. 

“Not true,” you giggled. “Well...partially true. But that’s one of the reasons why you’re my favorite. You’re also talented, smart, and incredibly handsome...plus your last mixtape was lit.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one making you blush?” Jooheon grumbled, hiding his smile by sipping on his coffee. He pulled back from the cup and hissed, smacking his lips. “Be careful, it’s hot.”

“Thanks,” you smiled, your sarcasm getting the best of you. “The steam didn’t alert me to that.”

Jooheon’s eyes grew wide as he stared at you. You immediately bit your tongue, mentally checking yourself. You couldn’t talk to someone like that out of the gate. “Sorry,” you whispered, an embarrassed heat returning to your face. “I’m a little...rough sometimes.”

“Some of the best people are,” Joooheon cooed. “Matter of fact, some of my favorite people are a little sharp on the outside.”

“Just try not to get cut on my edges,” you sighed. “If I say something too rude, feel free to let me know.” 

“I don’t think we’ll have any problems with that,” he grinned. “How many dates have you been on so far?”

“Three,” you nodded, furrowing your brows as you thought over your contractual obligations. Could you talk about other dates with your current date?

“I know we can’t talk about it really,” Jooheon sighed, seemingly reading your mind. “But I’ve been keeping an unbiased eye on the show when it airs.”

“Have you?” you breathed. So he had seen you with other men? Seen you kissing his competition? 

“I have,” he nodded. “I have to say, my coffee date is feeling real inadequate after spa week.”

You cackled, shutting your eyes as the laugh shook through you. Jooheon laughed as well, simply pleased that he was able to make you laugh. 

“Thank you for taking me here,” you said quietly after the giggles had subsided. “I don’t think I could take another spa week.”

Your comment made Jooheon’s smile grow even larger. “Ah, so how are the dates going? From your perspective? This whole thing must be a crazy experience.”

“It is,” you nodded. “But I’ve managed to meet some really lovely guys. You included.”

“Aw stop,” Jooheon whined, never losing his smile. “You’re just being nice.”

“As noted earlier, being nice isn’t my initial go to,” you laughed. Jooheon laughed as well, shaking his head. You made an internal note at how wonderful Jooheon’s laugh was. No matter what you said, he always offered up a smile. It made your heart feel warm and your mind feel appreciated. It was definitely something you could get used to. 

“Mission,” Armpit grunted, thrusting the envelope Jooheon’s way. You looked at him curiously, lifting your brows. 

“And no, you aren’t allowed to rip it.”

You chuckled, thinking back on your previous date and how proud Jay had made you. 

Jooheon rolled his eyes, making sure to look up at you kindly before pulling the envelope open. 

“Can you trespass into her heart? Deliver your best aegyo to make your date laugh. Finish in 60 seconds and escape the penalty.”

Jooheon looked up, his face surprised. “Why would they challenge me with something I’m so good at?”

You winced, biting your lip. He was admittedly adorable. “Maybe because I’m not known to be susceptible to that type of thing?”

“Obviously you haven’t been around me then,” he grinned. “My charm is impossible to ignore.”

“You know what, Jooheon?” you laughed. “I think I can believe that.”

“All you aegyo scrubs,” he mumbled in his deepest octave. “Watch and learn.”

To Be Continued...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22

[survivorazores]

Ep. 16 - “Hi, nice to me you! My name is "I'm a fucking mess" “ - Francie

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164424993518/individual-immunity-7

The tribe minus Will hates me again so there's that!  I.... almost went home, that's so wild. I hate that Ali left, that was all just so wild I don't even know what to think now about it all.

It feels good knowing that my game is almost over, and that Amanda Lynn is gonna win this game even though she's never getting my jury vote. I would say more but I don't want to make anyone mad or upset and I don't want any bad blood after this game, but y'all can't preach "it's just a game" and then be upset when someone calls out your lies IN THE GAME like... that's a tactic I'm trying to rattle you and clearly it worked. Ruthie's the only real one, Abbey literally admitted she's playing for second which is just sad, Francie I still know nothing about, and Amanda Lynn like go have fun in the winner's circle girl. You deserve it.

I'm seriously considering if I want to even try for F3 anymore, or just like, flop and be voted out. I don't think I have a chance of winning anymore. And if I don't have a chance of winning, I'm not sure I want to keep putting the effort in to stay. It seems that everyone has wanted me out at one point or another. They all still probably do. If I'm such a big threat, why hasn't anyone tried to take me out before this? How have I been able to stay? Will is mad bc I told him I wanted to go to the end with him bc I like going with threats so its a fun FTC. Sweetie, if that were true, I wouldn't have voted Emily out. And also. I never told anyone I wanted to vote Ali out. I mean, I didn't want to go to FTC with him, and I mentioned like, to the girls, that I wanted to go to the end with all girls, but I never went to anyone and said, "I want to vote Ali out." So, lol, good job to whoever told him that, bc tbh, I've been considering going to the end with him, and its yours and hist fault that he turned on me and wound up idoling himself out. Oh the irony. And I'm not even sorry. To be honest, if I do get voted out, I'm probably going to vote for Francie. Girl has made it to f5 with zero votes against her, in her very first game, while she went on vacation to another country, won an immunity, AND survived rocks where she had a 50% chance of going home? Yeah, home girl is getting my vote.

WELL THE TEA IS that Francie put her ass on the line super hard just for little old me. Will, Ruthie and Ali voted for me which is fine it makes sense I get it. I really didn't expect Francie to do that for me. My heart is full, my crops are thriving, my skin is clear, Neville is the Cruiserweight Champion and Sasha is 4 time Raw Womens Champion everything is great! I came clean about my scheme to vote Amanda out to Amanda so since I spilled that to Will he has no dirt on me. I really think that me and Francie both have something to show if we make it to FTC, the playing field seems more clear especially since Will kind of shot himself in the foot when he popped off on Amanda. Oh well, I just want this iconic all female f3!

So that challenge? It's no Stairway to Hell. It's just Hell. That's it. Nothing else. If the solar eclipse didn't make me go blind, this challenge did. I set up a doc last night so all I had to do was copy/paste, but I hecked up once at the beginning. Everything else was fine, though. Even with that, I copy/pasted non-stop and it took me about 52 minutes so.... rip. I'm really hoping I get this bc I do not want to be voted out before Will... I would rather be last juror than go before him. I'm guessing that if he does win, the Gal Pals will just vote Ruthie, but I would hate for him to be here f4.... so like... can he just lose? [7:03:20 PM] Amanda Lynn: Anyway if Will wins immunity i'm gonna go jump off a cliff [7:04:09 PM] Zabbey Culpepper: rt [7:04:23 PM] Francie Liana: mood They think I'm joking, but I'm already looking up the tallest peak in Florida.

https://youtu.be/EJOOhaTWyiw

Welcome to that last challenge where the word “step” is made up and your emotional sanity does not matter.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164465335358/individual-immunity-7-results

WELL it's been fun y'all I really think I'm the next to go and I'm not about to crawl up into Francie and Abbey's IM's, not tonight anyway but I think they BOTH know I'm the smarter option to keep this week.

So the highest point in Florida is a place called Sugarloaf Mountain. It's peak is 312 feet above sea level. It's about 120 miles and 90 minutes from my house. If I leave now, I'll have enough get there early, spend the day climbing the mountain, jump in the daylight, hopefully live, hopefully be found, and be able to make it back in time for tribal, just to be voted out. I know it's between me and Ruthie. I know that. The vote will be 5-2, either way. Abbey says she has no intention of voting me out. Francie said the same thing. But all it takes is for someone to sway on of them that I'm the biggest threat. I don't mind. I doubt I'll win the game anyway. But I just ask that if they do decide to vote me out. Just tell me. I don't want a glimmer of hope just to be blindsided.

Abbey said she was pitching to Francie why they should keep me. I appreciate it. But I'm not going to fight. I said my peace to them. I know Will won't work with me anymore. I don't have the option to work with Ruthie because I'm not voting Francie or Abbey out. I have nothing left to say to anyone. I'm just. I'm tired. And sad. I worked so hard in this game. I tried so hard. I had decent strategies. I played tough. I went against an ally, which is a big step for me. I've never done that. I tried to beat Will. And I have a whole tangent speech about that that maybe I'll get into one day. About how I agreed to work with him and then went back on it. I have a reason. But right now. I just. Want to cry.

Immunity? Feels nice :)

What's funny to me now is people who have spent the whole game lying and flipping and backstabbing not wanting to take out the obvious frontrunner at this point when they can it's like... I get that you wanna stay loyal to the alliance but are you really gonna throw your game away for that? After you've both acknowledged that you can't beat her? Like you're ok with flipping on me because you can't beat me, but because you've known homegirl over here longer you're willing to throw away your chance at winning? I mean tbh I probably will not win FIC, and I'll probably be the Kelley Wentworth of this season, and that's okay with me but it's just really dumb - not even sad, just dumb - watching people talk up how they don't wanna just bring goats to the end then do exactly that, or even worse let themselves be the goats. Amanda Lynn is not getting my vote in the final three, and that's not me being bitter, that's me saying that I genuinely do not believe she played the best game between her and Abbey. And I know all y'all will say I'm just a bitter juror but those? Are the facts! That's my opinion! I mean I'm gonna fight as hard as I fucking can to win tomorrow night and please the jury, but I really don't have much hope left. And that's okay. When I said I wasn't gonna bring goats to the end for an easy win, I was being serious, but if y'all wanna win in a landslide over people you yourself have said "didn't do shit" and if y'all wanna go to the end with people who will beat you in a landslide like... be my guest idgaf. And don't expect some fiery jury speech from me either lol that's not how I'm playing this game. I'm just gonna ask a simple question and expect simple answers, no showboating and no more games. There's no point in it, just be straight up. Anyways it's about past my bedtime and this game is literally just draining my life force at this point, I'll see what I can do tomorrow but there's literally no promises on that

Anyways my instagram bio literally says "eventual 4th place finisher on survivor" so like... the prophecy cometh true?

Amanda came to us last night explaining why we shouldn't vote her out now, because Will and Ruthie are close and would end up driving it to fire next challenge. While Abbey and I think Amanda is a threat, neither of us wants to go through fire next round so we plan on voting Ruthie out now instead. Amanda also told us to just tell her if we're voting her because she doesn't want to be blindsided at all. She left two alliance chats this morning so it seems like she thinks she's going home next if she's already preparing. At least, maybe...? I hope they're both telling the truth because I have no desire to wear a good made of sheep's wool. (I...got so carried away that I typed all of this in the name box at first)

Should I even campaign at this point? UGH. I think I really screwed myself over by telling Will the last vote what was happening but I don't regret it, I hope that Will makes it to the final three and that he wins this ENTIRE game.  Yes, he's been close with Abbey and Amanda but he has been my number one and yes, I did stray a little bit but idk, he deserves to win. If Will doesn't make it to the end I will probably vote for Amanda to win.  She has played the best game by far out of almost everyone (I honestly think that Will, Emily and her have played the best this season) and she deserves to win over me, Francie or Abbey for sure. I've had a fun time and I'm honored to have made it this far in this game, it's been a WILD ride and I've loved every second of it!

Well, Francie says she decided last night she isn't voting me out tonight. I made a pitch to her that next round of it comes down to fore between me and her, I'll forfeit, which I will. I'm hoping it doesn't come down to that, though. Jay hinted that final immunity is the pressure cooker with the cup, but she also said she was still thinking about it. If she does do that one, it sucks for me bc I know I won't win. But it's good for Abbey bc she has won it before. I just don't know how strong Will is so, I'm just going on a hope and a prayer here.

what even is this challenge what even is anything? anyway. amanda came to me, referencing what she said last night and said it was all true. she thought I was the swing vote tonight. she also said that if it came to fire between me and her, she would forfeit. she literally said she'd guarantee me F3 if I kept her tonight....this is the most surprised I've ever been by a pm im...wow. I really appreciate it, that's for sure. just, w o w. I told her that I decided last night I wasn't going to vote for her, bc that was true and it still is.

I really just wanna get this all over with, I'm too stressed for no reason and my computer also legitimately can't take it anymore lol - like obviously I'm gonna try tonight but part of me hopes I lose so I can just be over with all of it. Obviously I've had a good time but still.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164502055958/tribal-15-ruthie-voted-out-3-2-amanda-lynn

LAST WORDS: I'm sad about leaving but I am glad I had so much fun and was part of what I think was a great season!  This was definitely one of the favorite games I've ever played and it was an adventure, I never knew what was going to happen next and I'm honored to have met so many of you!  I love my Azores family! <3 'crackedt disney queen' out!

Ruthie becomes the sixteenth person voted out and the eighth member of our jury.

So I made it through tribal. But I could not last longer than like 5 minutes (if that) in the pressure cooker. My arms used to be strong bc of puppets but they are not strong anymore. It's up to Abbey and Francie right now and I can hear Francie is struggling so much. I just don't want Will to win. Please, God. Do not let Will win. I'm hoping his phone falls and he loses. Ugh please.....

Friendly tip: on a google hangout, never put your phone into low power mode. in other news, fuck technology

File my phone screwing me over under Top 10 Saddest Anime Deaths.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164504054993/final-immunity-challenge-results-will-wins

I literally cannot believe I won final immunity like what the fuck? How? When? Where? I really feel bad like I feel like I am not supposed to be here, it feels wrong and it feels tragic but I... I made it? I don't even know who I want the last jury member to be, because Amanda is the biggest threat against me at this point based on gameplay alone - I need to start preparing a speech and answers and stuff - but I also know that Amanda will eviscerate me if she's on the jury and I don't feel like dealing with that. I really hope they can all be objective about the game and see that I played incredibly hard and that my social bonds saved my ass multiple times but that I also controlled a bunch of the votes. But these fuckers gave me a run for my money, they really did. For my last game of the summer, it would be really REALLY nice to win. But if anything at least it was a wild fucking ride.

I...had the phone propped up vertically and then Amanda mentioned doing it horizontally and trying that is what was my downfall actually. :/

https://youtu.be/z9eEqkd5j6U

I can't stop thinking about that challenge. Can you believe that power save mode murdered the feminist movement?

Anyways it's dumb that people are trying to use the "it's what we really want" thing to guilt me into doing what they want me to tonight and I'm really not about it lol go cry to someone else I don't play like that

Let's break it down here: y'all are gonna tell me that I'm being shitty for calling Amanda Lynn a not genuine person (because she lied all game to me) and say that I can't separate real life and the game (including Abbey so tactfully saying that I shouldn't be playing these games) and THEN go on to say to me here, tonight, on this day, that you'll both be mad at me - no, that ALL the people here will be mad at me if I don't let them go to fire making because... of what? Because I made the choice that was best for my game? Like if you're gonna give out advice like that, learn to take it as well. There's no point in arguing since they will never admit I'm wrong unless it's in an apology intended to try and make me feel comfortable again so like give it up, it's over. If anything, talk to ya girl Francie she's the one who's really making the deciding vote here, don't be mad at me for trying to win the game after telling me I'm not allowed to be mad at y'all for doing the same thing.

So I lost FIC which is a real bummer. It was the only challenge I really had a chance at but I blew it, and it''s nobodies fault but my own. I went in too cocky and it blew up in my fave. Unfortunately Will won. It's not that I don't think Will deserves it, because he definitely does, he worked really hard for it. It just sucks that we can't have an all female final 3. The series is based on female empowerment and inclusiveness and it would have been a really good story but oh well. I dont begrudge Will for it. Now we have to figure out what to do. Me and Amanda want to go to fire, because neither of us want to vote the other one out. We've come too far together to turn on each other now. There's no fucking way I'm voting for Francie after she went to rocks for me so our only option is fire. Francie and Amanda vote for me, I vote for Amanda and we hope Will votes for me. He might vote for Amanda which would suck. He's not getting any of our votes no matter which of us go and he thinks Amanda would be his best bet to send home but he can't make that happen on his own so idk what hes gonna do

Will suggested that Amanda and Abbey are trying to spilt the votes and send me home rather than their fire plans. I trust A&A but now I'm lowkey paranoid and idk what's gonna happen tonight. I'm gonna go finish my dinner. It's cronch time.

Hi, nice to me you! My name is "I'm a fucking mess"

It's a lose-lose-lose-lose-etc. situation: I go to fire, Amanda probably makes it to FTC and probably wins somehow. I vote Amanda out since Francie really doesn't see through my plan here and Amanda goes to the jury and tells them all not to vote for me and I have to do major damage control. I don't go to fire and regardless of who goes home they all hate me for not giving them what they want when I literally don't owe anyone anything. The only people I owe are royalty Ali T and Ruthie for staying completely loyal to me through this whole mess, and those are the facts! Anyways no matter what I do tonight Amanda's gonna make it difficult for me to get jury votes so... time to work on a speech kids!

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164538868783/rites-of-passage

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164542328888/final-four-tribal-council-abbey-and-amanda-tied

LAST WORDS: https://youtu.be/0_Jjw-sfxY8

Amanda Lynn becomes the seventeenth person voted out, and the ninth and final member of the jury

So, that happened. I wasn't sure Will was even going to push for fire making but he ended up doing it and Abbey won. Amanda messaged us in the alliance chat and said she was giving up because she didn't want to sit next to FTC with Will. Gosh, my stance on Amanda has sure flipped around a lot this game. She's been one of my closest allies and yet there's been times, like just recently, where I wanted to vote her out because she was the biggest threat to winning this game. At the same time I've wanted to stick with her because we were allies for so long. It's been too back and forth so I just have to say it for the record that I have loved playing with Amanda and I wouldn't change that for anything etc.

That moment when you're in the final three when you didn't even think you'd make merge coming into this game.

Honestly Amanda can stay pressed, she wants to act like the victim then like go for it but honey if you're gonna try to bully me into a fire making challenge (you got your wish!) and lie to me and everyone else repeatedly don't expect me to go silently into the night, I will expose you for who you are. If I win, then woohoo I did it yay congrats Will, people will be pissed. If I don't win, then like literally whatever lol.

My strategy going into FTC is just to be honest but still try to “sell myself” without getting arrogant about it (though I don't think I actually have the capacity to do that). I think my odds of winning are about the same as Abbey's and Will's so, yea. We'll just see how those forks fall.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164577346023/opening-statements

This game has honestly been so great up until these last few votes... I don't know what made it get so ugly but I really don't want to be remembered as the villain who's villainy came from being a bully, not from my strategy. Because I really don't think I've been a bully and I hate that people are going to try to paint me that way just because I stood my ground. I don't think I'm winning this game which is a bummer because it's both one of the best games I've played (in terms of my gameplay and like...the production and structure of the game) and my last game for a while, but hey like I had fun. I made it to the end with two people who I would love to see win, and we all agree that each of us deserves to be here. 

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164621763838/final-tribal-council-the-jurors-votes-for-the

That could've been a lot worse tbh like I'm really looking forward to talking to all of these jurors later on with a couple notable exceptions (we won't say who but we all know who) and like, I don't expect to win but I don't think it'll be a landslide vote, but then again who knows. 

I'm going to miss Ali sending this confessional link so damn much. :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((. Bigger tragedy than a n y t h i n g Shakespeare produced.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164649993333/winner-reveal

FINAL THOUGHTS: How did I actually win? I'm literally floored. Tfw when you bullshit half the game and manage to win??????? I, uh, yeah. Only n00b to make F3 and I won. Wow.

With that, Francie becomes the winner of Survivor Athena: Azores by a 4-2-2 vote, with Abbey and Will becoming the joint runners up. During the winner reveal, Emily was announced as Player of the Season and Mo/Ruthie were announced as Fan Favorites after a community vote. Congratulations to all of them and thank you to the whole cast for an amazing season!

[survivorarabia]

EPISODE 11 “I’m Royally Fucked” - Issy

Issy

Well the 'awogkgogkaka' is not an issue anymore, so that's good Fuck me though, I honestly don't know what to do from here

Ruthie

What is our tribe right now besides freaking HILARIOUS.  Bahah.  Okay,  so Aren left, which is good for my game, I love Aren, but there was NO way I was getting to Final 3 with him, Emmott and Issy.  Since he's left Emmott has been blowing up my messages, pissed but trying to keep his cool and I just find it so hilarious, I can't even.  First there was this, which I of course shared with The Family alliance.   [11/25/16, 9:18:34 PM] emmott young: duuuuuuude [11/25/16, 9:18:43 PM] Ruthie ❤: Sorryyyy :( :( :( [11/25/16, 9:18:59 PM] emmott young: DUUUUUUDE [11/25/16, 9:19:18 PM] Ruthie ❤: SORRYYYY :( [11/25/16, 9:23:09 PM] emmott young: at least it wasnt me! BAHAHAHAH. And then, there is this gem; [11/25/16, 9:29:26 PM] emmott young: its just, the one vote i didnt try lead myself i get foooooooked ahahahah!! [11/25/16, 9:29:29 PM] emmott young: its fun tho [11/25/16, 9:29:42 PM] emmott young: it better not be me then issy tho coz we flipped this entire game for yall TWICE Like, okay, if I'm remembering correctly it was YOU that wanted Shay out, Emmott.  So you came to Alex and I and we went along with it because we SURE didn't want to be the ones to leave.  The second time, I don't even know, was it the Jay vote?  Who knows, who even cares but this is Survivor and it is every person for themselves although I am DEFINITELY looking out for Alex and Nicole and even Lena and Richie.   All this and I'm still talking to Emmott and trying to give him a pep talk and just still, this is the kind of response I get out of him; [11/25/16, 9:36:09 PM] Ruthie ❤: I have noooo idea, try to win individual immunity though. <3 [11/25/16, 9:37:29 PM] emmott young: i dont do immunity ahahahah [11/25/16, 9:37:53 PM] emmott young: fuck it im givin up! i tried playing this game hard for the people who flipped on me, but life aint fair SORRY EMMOTT, I have my own game to play I'm not going to hang around and be your personal cheerleader for the comp. Also, let me rewind for a minute, can we talk about this that was in the tribe chat? [11/25/16, 9:17:57 PM] emmott young: WOAH WHAT HAPPENED [11/25/16, 9:19:19 PM] emmott young: that was psycho what omg [11/25/16, 9:19:37 PM] emmott young: congrats alex and ruthie <3 [11/25/16, 9:19:56 PM] emmott young: the rest of yall.........yeah [11/25/16, 9:20:12 PM] Ruthie ❤: Why am I getting congratulated, I’ve won nothing, rip (u) [11/25/16, 9:20:48 PM] emmott young: ya gonna win! Like, HOW am I going to win?  Why does he group me up there with Alex, not that I mind all because obviously Alex is my Survivor soulmate but WHY.  Is it because we were on the same tribe as him for awhile or am I missing something?  Either way, way to make friends and keep yourself around longer Emmott!  Calling us out like that, yay!  And apparently Richie is salty about people always putting Alex and I as the brains for everything because:   [11/25/16, 9:19:58 PM] Lena McKenzie: I'm amazed at this!! But why is Emmott congratulationg you guys [11/25/16, 9:20:13 PM] Lena McKenzie: Like Alex I understand because he almost got voted out but lol? [11/25/16, 9:20:16 PM] Richie: bc me and you are their puppets and we're handing them the game [11/25/16, 9:20:20 PM] Richie: DUH LENA This backs up the reason that he is going to have to go sooner or later, because when we get to the end he is going to come up with this epic speech and end up winning it over Alex and I.  And don't get me wrong, I would LOVE Richie to win, if Emmott and Issy go next I'll be happy with ANYONE that wins but still, awkward much? Also, to end this on a happy note, can we talk about how much I love Nicole again?  She is my absolute queen lol, I love her so much.   [11/25/16, 9:21:05 PM] nicole gilmore: People are getting mad like I'm actually ever filled in on anything and like my fat ass wasn't eating thanksgiving leftovers all day????? [11/25/16, 9:21:07 PM] nicole gilmore: Okay [11/25/16, 9:21:25 PM] nicole gilmore: Sorry Alex didn't leave way to be transparent Well, until... later, I suppose! <3 

Issy

I've been thinking about this game and I thought I might as well summarise it with a list of mistakes I've made so far, in order of shittiness 1) Making an alliance with my favourite dumb cunts literally-a-12-yo Aren and the totally unpredictable, emotional Emot 2) Allowing those fuckers to vote out Jay 3) Trusting Aren to be able to sort shit out for that last vote 4) Being stupid enough to convince myself (& Emmott) that blindsiding Shay was a great idea 5) Finding the solution to Pandora's box & sending it to literally everyone but ny host chat (and then 3 minutes later, because I decided I needed to fucking check again, someone else got in first) 6) Not taking out Alex or Ruthie when we had the chance 7) Not doing more to save Ci'ere & leaving it to the last minute 8) Not working my arse off to find an idol which would be real fucking useful right about now 9) Inviting Alex into that alliance at the beginning 10) Signing up to play in the first place and not turning down the last minute offer to be in this godforsaken season

Ruthie

At this point in the game I really need to start winning things or I will be viewed as a MEGA floater and I just don't want that to happen.  Tonight's comp is basically luck related though so... yeah, we'll see.  

If Emmott or Issy DID win tonight, I wouldn't be in danger, who ever didn't get immunity out of the two of them would be the one to go home.  I would love for one of them to win, especially Emmott because I love his passion so much, and he makes me laugh.  But I still want The Family to remain solid and that might cause other things to happen. :/ Speaking of The Family though...

Last thing I wanted to cover before finding out the results for tonight... THE JURY!  And seriously, I am sorry for all the noise, I'm not sure what possessed me to make video confessionals in the Cosco parking lot with my little sister and my 2 year old nephew in the car.  

Right now I just feel like they all hate me, I'm not sure if they hate myself or Alex more at this point but whatever happens I still want to go to the end with him! 

Emmott

blind week is a joke coz me and issy are fucked and no one is gonna wanna make moves when they dont know what the fuck is going on

note that

now that im on the bottom im just trying to be OTT shady and lowkey mean so people keep me, even over issy or anyone? because taking someone with a bad attitude further into the game is good for them, so im just trying to seem like a mean person

Alex

Aren's blindside went perfectly, and the fact that he actually had people writing my name down means that it was even justified!  Fantastic!  Nicole's random vote for Issy is weird and mildly concerning, but not too much so. The hosts have asked me to rank the players, so I am going to rank them in order of How Likely I Am To Give My Jury Vote To This Person. 6 – Emmot: This paranoid, flip-floppy motherfuck right here.  Fuck you, dude.  Pick a side.  Don't try and play both.  I can't see a world where I vote for you. 5 – Nicole: Don't get me wrong, being able to mostly count on your vote is great.  But at the end of the day, we haven't talked game.  You've been Ruthie's appendage and that's it. 4 – Lena: If our Family has a weak link, strategically speaking, it's Lena.  I love her, but she's mostly just a vote at this point – a vote who holds an Idol, maybe.  Definitely the fourth wheel, definitely not getting my vote unless I have to. 3 – Issy: I respect her iron will to eliminate me.  I don't respect her complete lack of ability to make it happen, or lack of flexibility.  Survivor is a game of adaptation, and she's banging her head against the brick wall. Richie and Ruthie are obviously the top two, and my vote between them really would depend on how I went out of the game, and how they got themselves to the end.  It would be a tough choice between the for me, and I can't make that call now. Before I get to talking about blind week, I once again want to wax philosophical about the game.  Specifically, I'm sure that a lot of people will be looking at my play in retrospect and saying “dude, what the fuck?”  Because from a purely strategic standpoint, my insistence on keeping the Family intact and, specifically, keeping both Richie and Ruthie in, is strategic suicide.  I'm aware of this. I've said before that I take these games really seriously, and I play with everything I've got.  I genuinely, regardless of what happens, like the people I'm aligned with.  And I want to see them do well, even at my own expense.  So I have a tough choice ahead of me, now, at this moment. Strategically, I should start looking to cut Richie and/or Ruthie soon here, because they kick my ass at the end.  But I don't know if I have a cold enough heart to do it, is the thing.  What I have to settle within myself is: how far will I go to win?  Will I cut them down to do it?  Because I could, I really could.  But will I feel good about it later?  And if I lose even after doing so, will I regret it?  Probably. Also, FUCK BLIND WEEK That's all, just fuck this shit.

Emmott

NICOLE HAS A NERVE

Ruthie

Funny I should send in a post about how solid The Family is then do what I did last night.  I am such an unloyal snakey bitch and I really hate myself this week.  I hate myself a lot.  I remember asking the other day in The Family alliance if our alliance was seen more as 'Heroes' or 'Villains' and I really HOPE I'm not seen as a villain after tonight, although if I am, I hope to be lovingly greeted by the dark side.  Can I get some cupcakes with black and red sprinkles, please? So, the new Takeover was posted and just FUCK.  Literally anyone could be going home this week and in short I panicked.  I suggested to Alex that I talk to Issy and Emmott about bringing back our old chat and talking them into voting Richie out.  I suggested that one of us could vote with them and the other vote with Lena, Richie and Nicole. He was of course down but hesitant and kind of sat back a bit with it, and I really don't blame him.   This is SUCH a bitch move on my part and I'm feeling awful already but I WANT ALEX AND I TO GET TO THE END.  I WANT HIM TO STAY SAFE.   Anyway, we talked this morning and for now I think that The Family and Nicole are going to vote together and that Emmott/Issy are going to vote for Richie, thinking that we are too.  At this rate I'm not going to have any jury votes, RIP ME.  

Alex

Blind Week is so ugly. This is so simple, guys.  Each person has a 1/7 shot at having Immunity, the odds are in our favor if we just pile onto one person. But no, Ruthie has to PANIC and go to Issy and Emmott to get them to vote Richie instead of me, just in case. First of all, that's not gonna work.  They're not buying it. Second of all, they're not buying it. THIRD of all, they are IMMEDIATELY going to run to Richie and tell him what you're doing because that is literally their only course of action!  What the shit!  Their best play is to break us up and you've just created the bullets, loaded the gun and handed it to them!  The fuck do you expect them to do, NOT shoot it? Christ. I am trying to keep things under control, and part of my method is making sure nobody notices that should there be a tie, we go to rocks.  Because let's be real, I'm the most likely to end up in a tie, and then I'd be safe. And if this fails, and I go home for it?  Fine.  Guess who has the moral high ground, kids?! But if I don't go home, my Legacy Advantage will let me see all...and that's useful info.

Issy

Fuck me, this game is just one twist after another! A blind round? I'm already stumbling around lost and confused, there was no need for this & 'there will be no questions this round' What are you doing hosts? I know I talked shit about your weird-ass irrelevant questions but you can't just keep taking them from us like this! Questions are the highlight of my week! Seriously! I'm gonna get voted out next tribal and you aren't even letting me write a passive aggressive tribal answer! 'Aren't' like all I can see is the 'Aren' can we talk about Aren for a second? issy, 11:25 am he was strategic? he had a great social game? i must have missed that completely wow Ruthie ❤, 11:25 am WAIT, so your fight was for real? I keep accidentally throwing him under the bus, I'm just pissed off because being voted out is 102% his own bloody fault. Fawz could have still had a god damn majority if someone didn't think it was a great idea to tell Mr. Paranoid that Jay was out to get him & at this point I'm totally convinced Richie/Ruthie/Alex/Lena are gonna be the final four and I'm going to be a real fucking bitter juror. Anyway, I'm considering my options right now and it's looking like I'm going to have to whore myself out and try and get someone, anyone, to vote with me. I'll vote for Emmott if I think it's gonna keep me in another round but honestly if they want me gone, I'm gone, and that's a real shitty situation to be in. Nicole and Lena seem like the obvious targets because from what I can see, they're on the outs of the group, but I think I'm royally fucked anyway and I've been busy just praying that I somehow nailed that immunity challenge...

Richie

so...... this takeover is ugly..... i was going to try and take out nicole this week but with the uncertainty of not knowing who won immunity and blah blah blah its just not smart so its either issy or emmott tonight... and ive been lying hard core to emmott bc the votes not being revealed so im like being a real fake binch????? theres been so much messiness happening, ruthie threw me under the bus which wasnt fun to find out even if it wasnt necessarily true??? altho it could be true and i could be leaving tonight that would be wild???? also nicole gave me tea which made me trust her again which was nice so im happy i didnt try to vote her out this round i was just being paranoid about her relationship with ruthie which is still concerning but i feel better now as long as theyre telling the truth of course..... honestly idk wtf is going to happen bc with the immunity being a guessing game and not knowing who could have won ANYONE can be going home tonight especially with the no revote straight to rocks... like this is the ugliest round bc theres so little control over whats going to happen and i hate it i really hate it.... i just voted for issy but i would have rather voted for emmott bc ive had a better game history with issy (kinda?) so i would have prefferred to keep her around to try and make a move with later like there was tea she had an idol so she may play it tonight and i was lowkey hoping she would maybe play it at 5 and idol alex  but idk i wanted to vote emmott bc of the fear of her having the idol is strong....... and i havent talked to her..... i should talk to her...... make her feel safer so she doesnt play her hypothetical idol but lbr if you didnt know who had immunity and you heard your name going around youd play that mf idol no matter what..... thats why im scared to vote her UGH this is ugly its literally like picking a target and throwing a dart at it with your eyes closed and i hate it and i hate you goodbye !!!!!!1!!!