#jesus why did I make this my first contribution

[sevensoulmates]

Buddie 7x06 Meta

HURRAH! It's not a four-parter this time!! Just a one-parter! It's a Madney/Chim-centric episode (which by the way I loved) but the buddie we got was AMAZING! I'm so excited for the rest of the season. We're just gonna dive right in!

First, I want to say that with the hindsight of this episode, we now know that the bachelor party was not ACTUALLY something that needed to happen, narrative-wise. It didn't actually contribute anything to the Chim plot, as that would've happened with or without buddie going crazy in the hotel room. So, all of the Bachelor Party was written purely for the purpose of watching Buck and Eddie have a good time. Maybe for comedic relief, maybe for the purposes of furthering their story at a later point in the series. Time will tell.

First, I've seen other people point out that Buck expected Eddie to be early (even though he's the first person there) because he wanted Eddie to help him set up for Chim's party. To Buck, Eddie is the person who helps him with everything. This is Buck's idea, yes, but Eddie is the proverbial co-host in this married dynamic. So Eddie being "late" feels more like Buck being disappointed his partner wasn't there to help him behind the scenes to make everything perfect. It really does make the whole scene feel like Buck-and-Eddie (the bro-in-laws) throwing the party. So of course Eddie's breaking the unspoken rules by being late.

I love how Eddie walks in completely ready to be fawned over by Buck with their couple's outfit. It's hilarious to me because 1.) Tommy was planning on coming, Buck could've told Eddie he wanted to do a couple outfits with Tommy instead?, and 2.) Eddie was fishing for compliments and it just makes me giggle. If Buck wasn't so stressed out over this bachelor party, he likely would've reacted how Eddie wanted and given him a bunch of compliments on his look. It was jaw-dropping. If most of us (the audience) were blown away seeing Eddie in a pink suit for the first time in the bts (to the point where most of us were like "no way he's in character, this has to be Ryan's wardrobe choice"), I know that the other characters were too. It's not Eddie's typical wardrobe choice. In fact, it's such an out-of-character fashion choice for him, that it's unlikely that Eddie just had this lying around in his closet to throw on. He probably had to go and buy a suit like this just for the occasion. Eddie had to put in a lot of effort to do this couple's costume with Buck, and he did it all happily and enthusiastically. We'll come back to this in just a second because...

CLIPBOARD BUCK IS BACK! sans clipboard but you get my drift. I love how this visually connects Buck to his sister and harkens back to a lovely Buddie moment "This is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest" back in season 3. This time around, we have Eddie assuming he would get special husband privileges and is pouty when Buck doesn't allow it.

BUT at the same time, he's not getting on Buck's case too much about it beyond the initial pouting. He may not know why Buck's so insistent on throwing a party, but he knows it's what Buck wants, so he moves on, and even watches with somewhat amusement when clipboard Buck gets turned on Ravi for doing the same thing later.

I also want to point out that Eddie has never once, ever, been upset with, annoyed by, or irritated with Buck when he's in Clipboard Buck mode. Most of the time, Eddie either finds it amusing cute, or is just generally accepting of it. This is no exception, however, this later devolves into Buck and Eddie going absolutely wild. This further exemplifies how Buck and Eddie accept and support each other, even when the other is being lowkey stupid (everything they do at the bachelor party) or unreasonable (clipboard Buck). It's all very much partner in crime coded.

Framing. Jesus Christ the FRAMING. Tommy walks in and not even two seconds into the interaction, the camera frames Eddie FRONT AND CENTER between them, watching Buck and then watching Tommy. Buck and Tommy hug and when they pull back, there's Eddie watching them with an odd look on his face. I'm not going to go so far as to call this jealousy/pettiness, but it is odd. There's an intimate physical moment between Buck and Tommy, and then Eddie, who constantly haunts their narrative, is just there. And he's actually objecting to Tommy's presence there. Not in a mean or hostile way, but just a second ago he was high-fiving Tommy, welcoming him in, but once the physical special relationship between Buck and Tommy is established, Eddie starts to bristle a little bit.

This entire exchange is just odd. Eddie knows that Tommy is friends with Chim. He has every right to be there for Chim alone. He's also aware that Buck now has a closer relationship with Tommy, and Buck's the only one who wants this bachelor party, so it should be obvious that Tommy would come. And yet...Eddie is questioning Tommy's presence there. He's reducing Tommy to Buck's "date", not Eddie's friend or Chim's friend, or someone who's slowly integrating into the group. No, it only becomes a problem when Tommy is there as "Buck's date".

This is then proven by Tommy, who's actually known Chimney longer than either Buck or Eddie have known him. He has all the right to be invited. But what's especially interesting is Buck's face when Eddie starts expressing objections to Tommy's presence. He looks shocked, a little worried, loss for words. Like he's worried Eddie is disapproving of them. It could be worry lingering from last episode, where Buck was afraid of his queerness pushing Eddie away. It also showcases a bit of awkwardness between Tommy and Eddie too. Eddie has been established as enjoying spending time with Tommy, and now he's hesitant to have Tommy in spaces with Buck as a romantic partner. It demonstrates that maybe Eddie isn't as comfortable with Buck and Tommy together as he led Buck/the audience to believe. But where is that uncomfortablity stemming from? That's yet to be determined canonically.

Buck then goes on the deny that Tommy is his date (for the bachelor party) and insists that Tommy is only his date officially tomorrow at the wedding. I personally don't understand why Buck would need to clarify that Tommy isn't his date to the bachelor party. If they're dates for one, it's usually assumed they're dates for the other, especially given how close the events are. I get that Buck wants to make the night about Chimney, but it can be about Chimney and still have Tommy there as a date.

This is also an interesting line that I've pondered over. Because while it's true that taking Tommy as a date anywhere would be hard launching both Buck's queerness and his relationship with Tommy, which could draw attention away from Madney and to Buck, but it also shouldn't be that big of a deal (and is proven at the end of the episode too). If the wedding had gone to plan originally, then Buck and Tommy going together wouldn't have had to have drawn too much attention. He could've told Chim, Hen, his parents + everyone separately before the ceremony even began. It didn't have to be such a huge deal, so I was wondering why Eddie brings out the usual phrase the show tends to use when they want to remind Buck that not everything is about him. But Buck wasn't trying to make it about him. Eddie should know this. As much as Buck has had issues in the past of taking things far too personally, and believing things to be more about him than they actually are, that's not what is happening here.

I actually think Eddie saying this line is more revealing of Eddie's feelings than it is about Buck making it about him again. It's revealing that Buck, his relationship with Tommy, and Buck's queerness are a big deal to Eddie, enough so that he believes it will draw a lot of attention. And maybe Eddie's not as cool with the idea of everyone knowing about Buck and Tommy as he tells himself. I want to reiterate that I don't believe any of this stems from legit homophobia towards Buck and/or Tommy, but more so a discomfort Eddie harbors about Buck's queerness, what it means for Eddie, and what Buck being with Tommy takes away from Eddie. All of this is unconscious, confusing, and frustrating for Eddie, and therefore what comes out of Eddie's mouth is a barb at Buck's expense. And it's why his reaction to BuckTommy at the end of the episode is kind of muted but mostly positive. He's confused.

Buck had told Tommy previously that it was an 80s theme party and asked him to dress up. This brings me back to my previous point that Buck could've asked Tommy to dress up with him. Instead, Buck and Eddie are framed as the literal "couple" here visually, and Tommy is framed as the odd one out. Not only that, but what he is wearing is a Henley, which as most of us know, is a staple of Eddie's wardrobe. (General author's note: I don't usually harp on about wardrobe choices in the show because that's not my specialty but I will here because it is a textual part of the plot).

We've previously established in the last few episodes that Tommy is a narrative mirror to Eddie. Tommy's meant to be like Eddie in almost every way, same interests, similar personality types, etc. He's even paralleling Eddie here by dressing the same way Eddie normally dresses. But it's being juxtaposed by Eddie standing right beside him (once again Eddie is framed in the middle throughout this entire exchange with Buck/Tommy when Eddie very easily could've just stepped off to the side to let them have some privacy). EDDIE is dressed way differently than he usually is in a bright pink suit, going out of his way to make Buck happy even if it brings him out of his comfort zone wardrobe-wise. And in contrast, Tommy did not take the time to dress up, even though he knew Buck wanted him to. I'm not saying that this makes Tommy a bad person, or inconsiderate of Buck, but it's just one of those little things. One of those forethought things that Tommy just isn't aware of because he's only been dating Buck for a few weeks at this point.

Others have pointed out that Tommy would've had to change out of his clothes and into his uniform regardless if he was on standby, so why couldn't he have at least just added a little bit of 80s flair to his current outfit? It wouldn't have been any more time-consuming. Maybe it would've put Tommy out of his own comfort-zone, or maybe he would've been a bit embarrassed, but that's the kind of thing that one might reasonably risk in order to make their partner happy.

Tommy isn't aware that by not dressing up, he's hurting Buck's feelings. That's just one of those things he wouldn't know about Buck because he does not have the lived experience of what Buck needs emotionally from his partners. Eddie, on the other hand, has years of experience with Buck and knows that if he really wanted to he could be just like everyone else who didn't dress up and that Buck would put on a face of being fine with it, but deep down inside, it would make Buck feel ignored and hurt. Eddie doesn't want to ignore Buck, and as we've seen from his last line about "making it about you", Eddie can't ignore Buck. So even if it means pushing himself out of his comfort zone, Eddie's going to show up in full costume, ready and enthusiastic to be with Buck.

All of this is being done for a purpose. It's to show us that while Buck and Tommy are still learning and developing their relationship, something is off, specifically in comparison to Eddie. The show is purposely framing Eddie as a better partner to Buck than Tommy is being in the current moment. Which is kind of unfair, if you think about it. If the show was setting Tommy up to be Buck's newest love and future endgame, they would instead be giving them opportunities to grow together, to get to know each other. Instead, the show is telling us in every subtly way it can that hey, wouldn't Buck fit so much better with Eddie instead? It's contradictory and doesn't further the plot if BuckTommy growth was the purpose. These bachelor party scenes as plot devices only work if the purpose is to show the audience that something isn't fitting with Buck and Tommy, but whatever that missing piece is, it does fit with Buck and Eddie.

Tommy then doesn't understand that they're supposed to be dressed up as the Miami Vice characters. He instead assumes The Wedding Singer (1998). First, I want to say that this is the 2nd Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore romcom that's been mentioned in canon in relation to Buck (the first being 50 First Dates in the season 5 finale) and as a huge fan of those movies, I'm fangirling. Second, it aligns with Tommy's s2 characterization where he loves romcoms (Love, Actually, and now The Wedding Singer). Third, it's an interesting choice from the writers here to pick The Wedding Singer as the movie that springs to Tommy's mind. There are plenty of 80s movies with bright colors that could've been name-dropped. They instead purposely went for a movie about the 80s but made in the late 90s, for the express purpose of having Eddie point out that Tommy's wrong. This is all very subtle, but it definitely does feel like Eddie is trying to lowkey one-up Tommy. But why would he feel the need to do this?

I've seen others point this out as well, but The Wedding Singer is about two people who are engaged to other people who are very obviously not right for them, though they might try to convince themselves differently. I rewatched the movie yesterday morning and I found it very enlightening. Adam Sandler's character is very much in love with Drew Barrymore's character, and almost tells her to leave her fiance for him, but in the end, he assumes incorrectly that she's happy with the other guy, and leaves them be. Drew Barrymore's character was ready to settle with someone she didn't fully love for security, and the only reason she doesn't tell Adam Sandler's character the truth is because she thinks he's still in love with his ex. It's all very miscommunication-y, but at the same time, it's reflective of Buck and Eddie's characters currently too given that neither of them really knows what they're looking for, they're just seeking a feeling, and may or may not be finding it in their current respective partners. But in the end, even after all the miscommunications, there's a HEA in The Wedding Singer.

Something else of mention was how in the movie, Adam Sandler's character was asked how he knew that things weren't working out with his ex and he said something along the lines of "It was the little things. Like, one time we were going to the Grand Canyon, and I had never been there before and she had, and instead of letting me take the window seat in order to see the beauty of it from above, she took the window seat for herself." This reminded me of this scene with Tommy, where it's just the little things that aren't fitting between him and Buck. I will come back to the topic of BuckTommy and misalignment later.

There have been many posts discussing how Crockett and Tubbs are another one of those "manly" buddy-cop pairings who were very queer-coded best friends who obviously never got together. Many people believed Crockett to be bi-coded as well. What's interesting to me is that this marks the second/third time in the last two episodes where they argued about who is the bi-coded character. I just find it interesting meta-textually when you think about the fact that fans used to argue incessantly (still do honestly) about whether Buck or Eddie could be queer and now that Buck is confirmed to be queer, people argue that Eddie can't be queer now. Additionally (I don't watch Miami Vice but I looked at a lot of the pictures) it seems that visually, Eddie should be aware that he is dressed as Tubbs, since most of pictures of them feature Crockett in blue/green semi-casual and Tubbs in pink/elevated suits. Visually, their roles should be obvious to anyone who is familiar with the show. Just like how Buck's queerness is now obvious. But now, the argument is well, there's an argument to be made that Eddie could be Crockett, and subtextually, also queer.

The narrative continues to hint with every single episode that passes that it's very likely Eddie will discover his own queerness at some point in the show. Just like there's no need for Buck and Eddie to argue over who gets to be Crockett, they can both be Crockett for christ's sake, they're both gonna end up queer. Of that I am certain.

So not only was Eddie totally down to clown with Buck at this karaoke bachelor party, but he was the one who suggested the couple's costume. We see more instances of Eddie not trying to tell Buck "hey, Chim said he didn't want a party, so don't do it", instead he goes along with it and finds a way to be even more enthusiastic about it. And I don't think that that was just because Eddie really wanted to party. I think it was because Eddie realizes that Buck must be wanting to do this for a reason. Possibly Buck might be doing this because he wants to show Chimney just how supportive he is of him and Maddie, maybe it's because Buck never got to be too involved with Maddie's last wedding because Doug hated him. Maybe this is his way of trying to make up again for his actions in season 5 when Maddie left and Buck didn't tell Chim. Or hell, maybe it's just now hitting Buck that he's going to have a brother, for real now, after realizing all he lost with Daniel, and wants to make this day special for Chim to showcase his appreciation of their brotherhood.

Buck is obviously overcompensating for something, and Chim and the rest of the gang don't realize why the bachelor party is so important to Buck. Hell, Eddie might not know entirely either, but he does sense that there is something more than just "I want to party" going on with Buck and this bachelor party. And so, as always, he is ride or die for Buck.

Then, when everyone else gets up to leave karaoke, Eddie doesn't even get up. He doesn't make it look like he's also considering leaving either. He doesn't check his watch or phone or make it seem like it's a burden or an inconvenience to be there or like there's somewhere else he'd rather be.

Once again, this scene with Tommy and Buck is framed with Eddie clearly in the picture, to show how he's just chilling, drinking, and ready to stick it out with Buck regardless of what happens. And then Tommy is the last one to finally leave and disappoint Buck that night.

And now I want to bring it back to BuckTommy, misalignment, and the ever-present Screaming Universe. If this was real life, it would just be a coincidence, but it's not. This is scripted fiction and everything is done with a purpose. What purpose did the writers have to get rid of Tommy but keep Eddie around to party with Buck all night long? If the writers wanted, they could've had Tommy stick around, more so to show a juxtaposition between the three of them hanging out. Or the writers could've had Eddie leave, and Tommy stay. It would've served the same purpose. Tommy still could've left the next morning for work and come back sooty for the kiss. Instead, the story/universe wanted Tommy to leave and this undeniably creates a micro-conflict between Buck and Tommy. It's undeniable that Buck is disappointed that Tommy's leaving and that he didn't really seem all that enthused to be there in the first place. Tommy then leaves, he's gone for the majority of the episode and comes back at the end. This is now a pattern for the third time in a row.

In Tommy's introduction episode 7x04, he and Buck have a moment at the beginning of the episode, a conflict between Buck and Tommy is introduced, Tommy is there a couple times throughout but he and Buck do not have any one-on-one scenes again until the end where their "miscommunication" is resolved by their kiss. In 7x05, they have their date at the beginning where weirdness happens and Tommy ends it, is gone the rest of the episode, until he returns at the end for Buck to make up with and rekindle. And now in 7x06, Tommy is there at the beginning, there's a misconnection, Tommy leaves for the rest of the episode, and they reconnect at the very end.

That's three whole instances of conflict with BuckTommy all written in a very similar way back to back to back. All of these conflicts revolve around the theme of misalignment and not knowing what they want personally nor what the other person wants. All of this harkens back to that first little moment with Buck and Tommy in 7x03 where Buck pats Tommy's arm, Tommy reaches to connect their hands and misses. I predicted that this would be a metaphor for the rest of their relationship, and so far I've been right. Because it seems like no matter how hard both of them try, they aren't quite connecting, not to the fullest. There is always a conflict that pops up that pulls them apart every single episode and they have to find ways to resolve this at the end. Again, if this was irl it'd be a different story, but as part of a narrative where they're not only trying to showcase Buck's first-ever queer relationship but also strongly comparing it to his "platonic" relationship with Eddie, it feels pointed and poignant. Buck and Tommy's constant misalignment feels like the "universe" trying to tell them something but they're not yet at the point of understanding what.

I highly doubt Buck would've wanted to party with a bunch of strangers if he wasn't feeling so disappointed by both Tommy and Chim. Eddie too, I'm wondering why he didn't want to go home or go be with Chris and visit his family. Or maybe go and see if maybe Marisol wanted to hang out. In fact, Marisol not being in this episode at all, or even mentioned, after the last episode is telling as well.

Many people have pointed out that the karaoke scene parallels Maddie and Chim, and this is even more pointed when the song that is playing when Maddie and Chim get married is Island in the Stream which is the song they first sang karaoke to. Buck and Eddie we know sing "What I Like About You" by the New Romantics, which Oliver, Ryan, and Tim all described as the best song for them to sing to/with each other at this point in time. I still think of it as canon even though we didn't hear it (I get why, they had little time and also licensing is expensive). This song is a romantic song, that's undeniable, and it also makes me think of Shrek and Fiona so it's double iconic. It's also an interesting choice in the moment where Buck is at a low emotional point, and Eddie chooses to stick around with him, indulge with him, and have fun together. It really is a great moment to show how not only are they there for each other in serious and emotional moments, but they also just enjoy spending time with each other, and would choose to spend time with each other any time they can.

Now I wanna talk about just how close physically Buck and Eddie get in this episode. For a lot of us, it's kind of whiplash because while Buck and Eddie have hugged and touched before, never so much in this way, or this much, or this intimately. Buck has his arm around Eddie's neck, their faces closer than they've probably ever been before? Buck is literally whispering into Eddie's ear ("keep on whispering in my ear, tell me all the things that I wanna hear because it's true, that's what I like about you") pulling Eddie into his chest. Eddie's leaning his entire upper body onto Buck, resting most of his weight on Buck. They're pressed together thigh to thigh, leaning their knees on each other. All of this demonstrates not just an emotional closeness, but a physical closeness (thank you, ABC, fuck u Fox), and not only that but an intimate physical closeness. All of this coming right after an episode where Buck came out. I love this because it shows a lack of Eddie being weirded out by being physically close to a queer man as a (seemingly) straight man. But it's also just so telling because Buck and Eddie have not been this physically close before....like ever...in this show. And now they are at the turning point of Buck's queerness being made textual and Eddie's queerness being STRONG subtext? Oh my goodness it's such strong storytelling.

This might be reading into it, and I acknowledge that, but this dialogue exchange felt to me less like they were talking about all the nameless people who were around them and more so like they were talking about each other. These are strangers, they don't know Chim, let alone love him. Neither do these people know/love Buck or Eddie. Instead, this conversation reads to me more like Buck talking about how Chim should be here because his friends (Buck, Eddie, Hen, etc) love him, and Eddie agrees. Looking even deeper, given that Chim didn't show up and the rest of their friends left them for the night, this feels more like Buck and Eddie talking about themselves. Because why is Eddie here? There's no reason for Eddie to be here partying it up except for the fact that he loves Buck and he wants to make him happy and enjoys spending time with him. This exchange is Buck recognizing that, and Eddie agreeing that he really, really does love Buck. And that's why their shenanigans continue as they all move on to Chim's hotel room.

They could've given up/left once Chim's door was locked, but Eddie encourages Buck to keep on going. Touching Buck like how Eddie loves to touch Buck, in the way that's most appropriate for them, on the shoulder like this. Then he kicks the door in and when Buck is ready to go wake Chim up to party, Eddie's like "Eh let him sleep", because, for Eddie, he doesn't really need Chimney around to have fun. Despite what they were just saying about bringing the party to Chimney so that Chimeny could feel the love too, Eddie's perfectly content just partying it up with Buck and only Buck.

These three clips in the bachelor party montage....I'm just gonna be frank with you, they're so obviously meant to look sexual. So CONTENT WARNING**** for me about to talk about sexual positions and such.

I don't have to tell you that although Buck and Eddie are technically partying with a bunch of other people, none of them are actually important. They're NPCs there to give Buck and Eddie an excuse to do all of this stuff with each other. So everything they do in this scene is more so a reflection of their relationship with each other, as well as their metaphorical queerness than it is about just general partying.

We know (due to bts) that at some point Eddie was leaning over to pour alcohol into Buck's mouth. It looks like Buck is leaning back on the couch in his most favorite/frequent canonical sex position (girl on top/riding) that we've seen in the past. This time with his mouth wide open with a phallic symbol pouring a liquid directly into his mouth. It looks like a blowjob/cum shot. Then we have Eddie with his clothes being pulled off and torn away. From the bts, we know that Buck is behind him and helps the girls pull off his sleeves. Other than the obvious "ripping each other's clothes off" metaphor, there's also the "orgasmic" look on Eddie's face as well. Others have also discussed how Eddie appears to be recreating the "crucifixion pose" /Jesus on the cross with his arms out like that in a reference to his catholic guilt arc and how before he's very much let that guilt control him and now in this scene with his close being ripped off, it can also be a metaphor for Eddie's eventually freedom from compulsory heterosexuality and guilt.

The last still with both Buck and Eddie vigorously shaking champagne bottles near the crotches (mimicking mutual masturbation) and then both of the champagne bottles "explode" mimicking both of them reaching a mutual climax, which then cuts immediately to both of them waking up the next morning. It's very very obviously a metaphorical gay sex scene.

Separately from that, I want to discuss this specific still, with both Buck and Eddie in between 2 very clear-as-day drag queens. This inclusion elevates the scene subtly yet very clearly to represent both Buck AND Eddie in proximity to queerness/the queer community. It further cements the queerness of this entire montage scene.

Finally, to conclude the bachelor party scenes, I just want to reiterate, that Buck and Eddie could've figured out Chim was missing any which way. They could've gone over the next morning w/o partying there. Buck could've gone by himself, etc. There were many ways the "Chim is missing" plot could've been done without needing to go this route for Buck/Eddie. Which means that this plot was not for any necessary reason other than to bring Buck and Eddie together.

Then while they're going on their chase to find Chimney, Buck and Eddie are paired up together the entire time, working together as a team, once again looking more like an established couple than anything else.

Then, as if fitting with the BuckTommy "beginning and ending only" episode pattern, Tommy comes back only at the very end of the episode, and he and Buck kiss, transferring soot onto Buck's face and providing a very quick and easy way to come out to all the rest of the people who haven't yet known about Buck. Most people look surprised, others smug (Henren, we'll get to them) and Eddie gives an interesting close-lipped smile. This moment in and of itself isn't very loud. His face is purposely vague here (hats off to Ryan, king of microexpressions). Of course, Eddie's going to look happy for them, he's not going to look jealous. But his smile could be brighter, his eyes could be warmer. There's again just something off about his expression there. I think it's confusing for a reason, because Eddie too is confused about everything he's feeling.

Hen is incredibly smart, so I'm not surprised that she clocked Buck's queerness a while ago. Her telling Karen this, and Karen's agreement means that this is something they likely discussed in private as well. In my opinion, if she was able to clock Buck, there's no way she hasn't also clocked Eddie. She just isn't saying anything because she's a respectful and empathetic person.

Hen wasn't really there for most of Buck's Tommy-arc, but she WAS front and center for all of Eddie's "performance anxiety" around dating women. Trust me, when Eddie figures it out and he and Buck finally get together, Henren will say something along these lines again, I'm certain of it.

And that's the end of this episode! It was such an emotional ride! I loved everything they did with Maddie and Chimney, and the Buddie plot was so fun! I had a blast, and I'm so excited for next week! I get the feeling the latter half of the season is gonna dive deeper into Eddie's storylines. Yay!

[joelalorian]

Fevered Flame

Marcus Pike x F!Reader

Summary: When Marcus Pike lost himself in work after that debacle with Theresa, he didn’t expect to take on a sizzling new case in the quirky town of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. Nor did he expect to meet you, an up-and-coming agent also looking for a fresh start. An unprecedented heatwave, mind-boggling art thefts, ancient Aztec legends, this case had the works. How would he ever solve the case with the temperature rising between you both?

This fic is my contribution to @iamasaddie's Little Lady Kinky May writing challenge. Prompts were Marcus Pike and Temperature. This is my first time writing Marcus Pike and I hope I did him justice. I learned a few things about myself during this process, the most important being that I am incapable of writing porn without plot, or a romantic angle, apparently. This story turned out waaaaay different than intended because of that. I apologize now for the plot heaviness between sexy bits.

WC: 10.4k – I’m sorry, I have no idea where all these words came from

Warnings: Explicit 18+, too much plot, heat making people cray cray, sexy sweatiness, lots of cursing (I’m from New Jersey, I can’t help it), nonsensical crime stuff, a plot that came straight outta left field, protected and unprotected sex (p in v), pussy eating and cock sucking, inappropriate use of an ice cube and hot springs. No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname and boobs, otherwise, I tried to keep her a blank slate. Some terms of endearment. IDK, there’s probably more but I can’t think right now.

Anyway, hope you enjoy this utter ridiculousness. Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics. Moodboard by me.

Masterlist

Still reeling from the aftermath of Theresa Lisbon choosing that pontificating windbag Patrick Jane over him nearly a year ago, Marcus Pike buried himself in work. The transition from Texas to DC and adapting to leading a whole new team took his mind of his misery. However, the lonely nights in his new home, the one purchased with hopes of building a life with Theresa in mind, were untenable and he took on more fieldwork than someone at the director level typically would. Hence why Marcus found himself driving through the desert to some quirky small town in New Mexico called Truth or Consequences.

What the fuck kind of name was that for a town, he wondered idly as his right hand pumped the rental car’s AC to full blast. Having already stripped off his suit jacket and tie, Marcus sweat clear through his lavender dress shirt within minutes. The heat was ungodly. Surely it couldn’t be normal. How could people live like that?

Eyes scanning the dashboard display of the mid-size SUV the agency rented for him, they nearly bugged out of his head at the temperature reading. Lit up in glaring red, the numbers 121°F taunted him as sweat dripped down his temples.

Jesus Christ. Death Valley had nothing on this place.

Marcus steered the vehicle toward his hotel, opting to change into something a little more suitable for the local climate before checking in with the agent representing the local field office. The FBI put him up in a supposedly nice hotel, though he didn’t have high expectations of what that meant in a town like this. As long as the AC worked, he’d survive.

Thirty minutes later, Marcus took his second shower of the day, this one much colder than the last, and jumped back into the SUV in an outfit more typical of a golf outing than an FBI investigation. It was the best he could do with what he packed. The local agent texted him the address of an art gallery, the first in a series of apparent crime scenes, and he plugged the address into the GPS.

Normally, you didn’t mind the heat, preferring that to cold winters, but this current heatwave was beyond ridiculous. You sweat just by simply existing. You never experienced anything like it in the five years you’d been stationed in Albuquerque, and you suddenly found yourself longing for the bone-deep cold of a northeastern winter as you waited for the DC agent to arrive.

The chilling sea breeze of a New Jersey winter sounded like heaven right now.

A sleek silver SUV pulled up next to your government-issued sedan and you watched with an assessing gaze from the driver’s seat as Director Marcus Pike exited the vehicle clad in khaki shorts and a turquoise polo, trendy aviator sunglasses shielding his eyes from the glare of the desert sun. His dark brown hair was short and styled back off his forehead, and a neatly trimmed scruff lined his top lip and jaw.

You knew from a quick glance at his FBI profile that he was a decorated agent, but his government photo did not do him justice. The man was fucking gorgeous in person. Exiting your own vehicle before he caught you staring, you introduced yourself.

He flashed you a smile full of boyish charm when you gave him your name, causing your heart to thump double time. “You can just call me Jersey, everyone else does,” you finished, holding your hand out to shake his.

“Marcus Pike, Director of the Art Crimes Squad in DC,” he replied, his larger hand engulfing yours in a firm, yet not overbearing, shake. “Just call me Marcus.”

The two of you gazed at each other, the sun beating down on you both like laser beams. Holy fuck, Marcus was even hotter up close. Yeah, his FBI file photo did not do him any justice at all. Not wanting to make things uncomfortable by staring too long, you gestured toward the door to the gallery.

“Shall we?”

Marcus cleared his throat and nodded, following behind you as you strolled casually through the entrance. “Wanna give me a rundown of what we know so far?”

“Sure,” you replied. “We’ve had paintings stolen from several galleries in town. Despite its odd name and small-town status, Truth or Consequences has a rather robust art scene. Lots of expensive art showcased in these galleries.”

Marcus nodded as you gave him some background. He likely read most of this in the file on his flight out here, but you could appreciate the necessity of running over it again verbally. Repetition was the mother of… whatever the fuck that saying was. Your brain was already too fried from the heat.

“The thefts started almost a week ago, not too long after the start of the extreme heatwave this area is currently experiencing. There has been one painting taken every other day so far, always at the peak heat of the day when the townsfolk are too overheated and tired to pay much attention. No eyewitnesses and the thief artfully avoided any surveillance or security cameras so far.”

You watched Marcus jot down some notes, tapping the end of his pen against the small notepad as he reviewed the information.

“So, three paintings taken so far, and it’s still early in the day. I’m guessing we can expect another theft today?” You nodded and Marcus tapped the pen against his bottom lip this time, causing you to avert your gaze before he caught you ogling the plump flesh.

“Have there been any patterns identified?”

You could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “Just in the types of paintings taken so far. They all depict scenes of cool, serene landscapes.”

Dark brown eyes held your gaze. “So, the exact opposite of the current weather situation.”

Again, you nodded. “That’s the only pattern so far. We haven’t been able to determine any order to the galleries hit and, unfortunately, this town doesn’t have the law enforcement manpower to guard all of the galleries and still attend to their normal duties. We do have unis posted at the galleries that haven’t been hit yet, just in case. That’s the best the townies could do though.”

Humming in thought, Marcus walked around the gallery, causing you to scramble to keep up. It was fascinating watching his mind work, his big, brown eyes taking in every minute detail around him. When he stopped in front of the empty spot marking the first stolen painting’s former home, you paused next to him, debating on sharing the only other piece of information you had so far.

“There’s, uh, something strange that may or may not be related to this case.” That got Marcus’ attention and his eyes shot to you once again, brow arched curiously.

“Do tell,” he replied with an encouraging smile. You blinked slowly, trying in vain to maintain your concentration in front of such a handsome man.

“I will on the way to the other galleries. Just… just promise to hold judgment until I finish telling you everything. It’s a little… unorthodox compared to what we’re used, I’d say.” You led the way back to your car, gesturing for Marcus to get in on the passenger side. It made more sense to ride together. Thankfully, you left it running while inside the gallery, making the interior still nice and cool.

Once seated, his head cocked to the side endearingly, the tilt of his lips bordering on an indulgent smile. “Ok, I promise.” The cadence and depth of his soft-spoken voice set you aflame and you had to practically shake yourself to not fall to your knees in praise of this man.

Jesus Christ, Jersey, have a modicum of professionalism and self-respect, will ya, your inner monologue chided. Your libido hyperfixated on the veritable stud before you whether you wanted it to or not. It’d been too long since your last tumble in the sheets, apparently. Recentering your focus, you pulled out onto the main road heading to the next crime scene.

“Good,” you croaked. Feeling the heat creep up your already overheated flesh, you cleared your throat. “I’m sure you can tell, the weather here is ungodly hot – hard to miss it. This is not entirely normal, from what I understand. It’s tempting to chalk it up to climate change, except for one strange thing. Drive twenty or thirty minutes outside of town and the temps are far lower, though still hot by some standards. The temps within the surrounding towns are in line with the more normal averages.”

Brows furrowed, Marcus’ dark eyes searched your face, clearly looking for more context clues. “The heat certainly seemed excessive on the ride over from the municipal airport. I had to stop at the hotel and change or I would have melted to the pavement in my suit.”

You chuckled. “I know the feeling. The average temperature here is supposed to be in the low 90s this time of year, not thirty degrees higher. And the usually cooler desert nights haven’t existed for the past couple of weeks. It’s very strange.”

“And it’s just this town, you say?”

Pulling to a stop in front of the next gallery, you nodded. “Strange, right?”

“Very,” Marcus replied, deep in thought as he followed you inside.

It carried on like that the rest of the afternoon until the heat became just too much after checking out the last crime scene. Like everyone else in town, you sought refuge in the coolest place you could find, which happened to be a hole-in-the-wall pub just off the main street.

Just when Marcus thought things couldn’t get weirder with this town, you led him into a dark and dingy little pub, settling right up to the aged bar. If you weren’t a certified agency employee, he would be terrified that you were luring him to his untimely death.

As it was, the scraggly old barkeep gave him the creeps when he shuffled over, eyeing the pair of you with the same attention he would three-headed aliens. “Coldest beer in town. Two pints?” The man’s voice as rough as he looked, he didn’t wait for an answer.

Marcus shot you a look, eyes wide and uncertain, but you merely shrugged in return. He didn’t normally drink on the job, but between the heat and the early start for traveling, Marcus decided his day was finished. He chugged at the frosty draft when the barkeep placed it in front of him. The old man was right, the pint glass was frozen and small chunks of ice floated in the foamy beer.

“Damn, that’s good,” he nearly moaned, feeling refreshed.

“I know, right?” you replied, nearly half done with your own pint. “I don’t normally like beer, but I could drink it all day long when it’s ice cold like this. Especially in this heat, you know?”

The first round went down easily, and quickly, and the old barkeep, whose name turned out to be Harry, placed another round down before Marcus even thought to ask. The pair of you settled into easy conversation, getting to know each other outside of the job. The more you drank, the more your Jersey accent started to peak through. He found it cute and kept asking you questions just to keep hearing you talk.

Soon enough, any thought left in his mind about Theresa evaporated. How could he still think about his ex-fiancé when a hot, smart, sweet little thing like you sat before him, chatting, and flirting away the evening. Theresa had nothing on you.

It took exactly a fraction of a second to be struck by your beauty that morning. Confident and intelligent, not mention damn good at your job, he quickly realized your natural beauty served as icing on the cake. You were the entire package, and he was trying his damnedest to not charge ahead trying to get you into bed.

Turned out you both had similar relationship history, married too young and divorced, no kids, longed for a dog if only your job didn’t call you away so often. You were practically the female version of him, Marcus thought. It made him all the more curious about you.

Before long, you both ordered some bar grub and went back to talking about the case. Neither of you could make sense of what you had so far. There were vital pieces of the puzzle missing, that much was apparent.

Harry unceremoniously dropped plates full of burgers and fries in front of you, not even trying to hide the fact that he eavesdropped on your conversation.

“You think your case has something to do with the heat?” the old man questioned, leaning heavily on the bar top.

You and Marcus shared a look before you nodded.

“There’s some local lore you might find interesting, then,” Harry said, pausing for dramatic effect and you gestured for him to continue. “Well, as the legends go, the Flame of Quetzalcoatl was hidden somewhere in town centuries ago. They say it was a gem gifted by the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl himself, but who the recipient was no one knows. The gem is said to hold the power of the sun and the wielder of it has the ability to control heat.”

You and Marcus sat there in silence, absorbing the tale Harry just shared. After a few minutes, Marcus glanced at you, doubt clear in his expression.

“This town just gets fuckin’ weirder by the minute, I swear,” he said, sipping at his pint once again. “I might actually believe that little story if I was a few more beers in.”

You laughed, but your face didn’t hold the same doubt as his. “I don’t know, Marcus. If living out here for the past few years has taught me anything, it’s that these Aztec legends are often too close to the truth to blow off.”

Harry harrumphed. “I’d say so, little lady.”

“Besides, it’s the best we’ve got right now,” you said, nudging Marcus’ shoulder with yours. “Couldn’t hurt to play that angle until a better lead pops up.”

Marcus found himself agreeing, much to his surprise.

Over the next few days, you and Marcus researched as much as possible about local lore related to Aztecs, searching for any hint of what Harry told you. In that time, three more paintings were stolen. The thief started leaving little clues as if to goad law enforcement.

The first cryptic clue further convinced you of the potential voracity of the Aztec legend. Written in drip red paint in the spot where the fourth painting had been located, Marcus suspected the thief meant it to look like blood.

When the feathered serpent sheds its skin, the heat will rise.

“Holy shit,” you gasped when you first read it. Turning to Marcus, you declared, “Quetzalcoatl was known as the Feathered Serpent.”

His dark brown eyes widened, meeting yours in shock. “No way.”

You nodded, flipping through your notepad to find your most recent notes on the case. “Yes way. That book we borrowed from the Historical Society talked about it. Remember?”

Marcus nodded slowly as the information came back to him, his eyes searching yours, trying to make sense of this completely bizarre case. “Didn’t the book say something about Quetzalcoatl being a signal of transformation? Think the clue has something to do with that?”

“Yeah, could be.”

The pattern continued the next day with another clue left behind.

Where the earth boils and the water steams, the gem of the sun awaits.

The pair of you debated the meaning of the second clue over cold beer at Harry’s pub. As the case evolved, so did the connection between you and Marcus. You both flirted unashamedly when you weren’t talking about the case. It turned out the agency put you both up at the same hotel – your rooms on the same floor even. You were beginning to hope that he would make a move, yet completely terrified of that happening at the same time.

Despite your best efforts, the thief remained one step ahead of law enforcement, somehow managing to steal from galleries you had actively guarded. How in the world was this guy doing it?

Things were slowly coming together once a third clue was discovered.

Seek the place where fire and water dance, and there you will find the sun’s heart.

Without a local FBI office to work out of – the Albuquerque one you worked out of was over two hours away – you’d decided to setup camp in a quiet booth at Harry’s. He kept you full on pub grub and refreshments – soda and water during work hours, of course – and chipped in with his local knowledge whenever he thought it needed.

In fact, it was Harry who guided you toward understanding the latest clues.

“Have you two heard about the hot springs? This town is famous for them.” The old man dropped the nugget of knowledge along with a plate of fries and shuffled away, leaving the two of you to stare after him.

Marcus turned to you; his lips pursed in thought. You ached to nibble on the plump flesh of his bottom lip, to feel the gentle scratch of his facial hair against your soft skin as you did so.

“Where the earth boils and the water streams,” Marcus recalled the second clue in that delicious, soft-spoken voice of his, sending a wave of gooseflesh over your skin. “Seek the place where fire and water dance.”

Shaking your head free of naughty thoughts, you focused on the clues and the knowledge bomb Harry dropped, picking right up on Marcus’ thought process. “Fire, heat, and water... The hot springs!”

Marcus beamed at you; eyes sparkling as he came to the same realization. “It has to be. Makes sense, right?”

“Sure does,” you agreed, grinning back at him. “But there must be a ton of them. How would we ever find the right one?”

Sitting back in his seat, Marcus shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ll have to keep digging. Do you still have that book from the Historical Society? Maybe there’s something else in there to help us.”

“It’s back in my room,” you reply. “Fancy ordering room service at the hotel while we go over the clues again?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

What was he thinking, agreeing to go back to your room to continue working on the case.

An unwitting temptress already, how was he supposed to control himself when you invited him into your room for dinner, drinks, and after-hours casework?

In the already excessive desert heat, Marcus was sweating bullets as he followed you into your room, conveniently located only a few doors down from his own.

“I have a bottle of cab, is that good?” you questioned, kicking off your shoes with a sigh before reaching for the screw cap bottle.

Audibly gulping, Marcus squeaked out an assent and wiped his sweaty palms on his shorts. He glanced around the room to distract himself, noting happily that you were a tidy traveler, much like himself.

“I have bottled water as well. Would you like one?” Marcus nodded. With an indulgent smile, you held out the small ice bucket. “I like mine over ice. Would you mind?”

Eager for a moment to clear his head, Marcus grabbed the bucket. “No problem.” The echo of your chuckle followed him as he rushed out the door.

“What is wrong with you, dude?” he whispered to himself as he strolled down the hall to the ice machine. “You don’t even know if this woman wants anything more than just reviewing the case. Calm the fuck down.”

Feeling a little calmer and more under control after his private pep talk, Marcus knocked on your door with the full ice bucket in hand. You let him in with a broad smile that nearly made his heart stop.

“Perfect.” Plucking the bucket from his hands, you returned to the makeshift kitchenette area to fill two cups with ice and water. Two glasses of cabernet were already sitting on the tiny table in the small designated sitting area of the hotel room.

Marcus joined you on the couch, case file in hand, seated close due to the limited space. You dove right in to discussing the case, easing his nerves. The pair of you compared the facts of the case, debating theories and potential connections. Without any physical evidence, you still didn’t have any viable suspects, which was incredibly frustrating for both of you.

“I’ve never had a case like this,” Marcus said. “It’s hard to believe that this could all relate to a myth about an ancient god. It feels weird even saying that aloud.”

“I know. It’s giving me Twilight Zone vibes.”

With the lack of viable suspects serving as a brick wall in furthering the investigation, conversation switched to other topics.

“You’re from New Jersey?” Marcus asked. “What brought you out here?”

“Yep, born and raised at the Jersey Shore,” you replied, that northeastern accent peeking through as you drank more wine. “Classic reason for relocating – I followed a guy, the one I told you a little about. We got married young and one day he woke up and decided he wanted a change of scenery. I followed along without argument, and we wound up out here. Biggest mistake of my life.”

“Ahh,” he said with a nod. “That asshole.”

“Yeah, that asshole.”

From what you told Marcus about your ex-husband, he knew the guy was a real piece of work. Classic narcissist who beat you down emotionally the entire time you were together. Marcus was happy that you kicked the guy to the curb two years ago and the divorce finalized last year. No one deserved to be treated like that, especially you.

“Are you going to stick around here now that’s all over with?” He found himself curious about your future plans.

Shaking your head, you laughed. “Hell no. I put in for a transfer already, for anywhere on the east coast closer to home. I’m no picky.”

Marcus perked up at that. The DC headquarters always had openings. He’d get to see you again if you were transferred there. “I could put in a good word for you, if you’d like. You’re a great agent from what I’ve seen so far.”

Ducking your head bashfully, you peeked at him through your lashes. “That’s pretty high praise coming from a director,” you deflected.

“I mean it, Jersey.” He kept his voice low, using your nickname for the first time, and watched in delight as you shuddered.

The air in the room shifted, sexual tension thick and nearly overpowering. Marcus watched as your pupils dilated, lust overtaking the previous sparkle. He gulped when your tongue darted out to lick your lips tantalizingly.

Shifting ever so closer, your scent washed over him. You smelled fucking delicious, hints of cocoa butter and salty sweat, reminding him of the beach. His shorts suddenly became tighter, his cock twitching to life. He wanted to devour you.

The next thing Marcus knew, your lips were pressed to his as you basically ripped the clothes from each other’s bodies, the now empty bottle of wine knocked from the table to the carpeted floor in the process. Despite the cool air pumping from the air conditioning, your skin felt hot to his touch.

Licking into your mouth, savoring the taste of you mixed with the bite of wine on your tongue, Marcus steered you backwards until your hamstrings bumped against the mattress. He eased you down onto the bed, detaching his lips from yours to take in the electrifying sight of your naked body splayed before him.

“You’re breathtaking,” he murmured, his fingertips tracing down your smooth skin slowly, teasingly from your neck to your toes.

Your eyes, blown wide with need, burned into his before dipping down to take in his naked body with a gasp. His cock bobbed eagerly as you stared.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Marcus said, his soft voice filled with awe, matching the wonder in his eyes.

“Me either,” you replied, “but I’m happy it is. You are so fucking gorgeous, Marcus.”

Marcus couldn’t help the blush that pinkened his cheeks. Reaching behind him to the bucket, he plucked a large ice cube from the slowly melting pile. His eyes remained locked on yours as he popped the frozen cube into his mouth, sucking lightly before his tongue pushed forward and his lips puckered as a portion of the ice cube stuck out.

The breath left you when he dipped his head down to run the cube along your clavicle and down across your breasts. Your nipples pebbled beneath the chilly wetness as Marcus directed the ice cube back and forth a few times. He watched delightedly as goosebumps peppered your skin when he moved the cube down your belly in a zigzag pattern.

“Oh, fuck.” Your chest heaved and fingers tightened their grip on the bedsheets when Marcus dipped further down, running the quickly melting cube over your mound and through your slit. The cold nearly shocking to the overwhelming heat of your labia.

Using his tongue to increase the pressure, Marcus circled the ice cube over your clit until you cried out, one hand loosening its grip on the sheets to tangle your fingers in his thick hair. He shifted, plunging the cube into your entrance, pushing as far as his tongue would extend, then leant back to watch your pussy suck the cube further until in melted into mere dribbles of water.

You laid there panting, eyes hooded and wanting, as Marcus dove back in, using his tongue to continue the work he started with the ice cube. He lapped and sucked at your clit, two thick fingers slipping inside you, until you became a blubbering mess, blurting out unintelligible words and moans, finally falling apart beneath his ministrations.

Marcus slurped at the evidence of your long overdue release, savoring the sweet, tangy taste of you. His hips thrust against the mattress of their own accord, his body seeking any sort of friction against his aching cock it could find.

“Your mouth is a lethal weapon, Marcus,” you said breathlessly, hands reaching under his shoulders to drag him up your body. “Now let’s see what you can do with your cock.”

His hair flopped forward over his forehead from your fingers tangling in it and he grinned in satisfaction at your comment. His boyish charm proved too much to handle, and you yanked his face down to yours, tongues tangling in a scorching kiss. You nibbled on his plump bottom lip between fervent kisses, savoring the plushness between your teeth.

Whining when he pulled away suddenly, your fingers grasping for purchase to pull him back, Marcus winked at you when he slid off the bed. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m coming right back.”

Digging in his shorts to find his wallet, Marcus pulled out a long-forgotten condom from the tri-fold leather and checked the date on the foil packaging to make sure it hadn’t expired. Content with the remaining half-life, he ripped the package open with his teeth and slid the latex material over his cock.

You beamed at him when he climbed back onto the bed. “I knew you were a smart man.”

Marcus slid up beside your body, turning you so your back pressed snug against his chest. “Safety first, baby. Wrap it before you tap it, right?”

Your laughter became strangled when he slid inside you, splitting you open on his cock. “Oh my god. You feel so good!” you cried when he began to move inside you after a long pause to let you adjust to the sheer size of him.

Marcus started at a slow pace, getting a feel for the way your walls tightened around him. Gripping the bed covers with your right hand, you reached your left hand up and around to tangle in his hair behind you. He picked up the pace as you tugged gently on his locks, his lips peppering your neck with soft, wet kisses.

When, at last, Marcus began pounding into you, you reached between your legs with your right hand to rub your clit. Despite the cool air blowing over your bodies, the heat between you had your skin glistening with sweat. You cried as Marcus hit a particularly pleasurable spot deep within you, his own moans morphing into grunts as you clamped down on him.

“Fuck, baby. You’re so tight around me. I can feel you clench every time I hit this spot.” His words were murmured into your ear, barely audible over the sound of skin slapping against skin. Marcus plunged forward to hit your g-spot, proving his point when you clenched tightly around him once again. “Yeah, just like that.”

You plunged clear over the precipice then, crying out his name and any number of praises as an orgasm overtook you. Marcus talked you through it, his voice like sugary syrup, while he never once let up on his thrusts. Minutes, hours later, he followed you into the overwhelming bliss with a shout of your name followed by a string of curses.

“That was amazing.” Marcus nuzzled your neck as his hips slowed, the last shots of his cum dribbling into the condom. “You are amazing.”

Lost for words, you just hummed in agreement. Knackered from the excessive heat, long day of investigative work, the alcohol, and the mind-blowing sex, you hovered on the edge of sleep while Marcus got up to dispose of the condom. He returned with a wet cloth and cleaned you up with tender dedication. Tossing the cloth aside, he paused, standing naked and uncertain next to the bed.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Hell yeah, I do,” you replied sleepily, tossing the covers down so you could both slide under them. “I hope you like to cuddle, Mister.”

Grinning at you, Marcus wrapped his arm around you, curving his body around yours. “You bet your ass I do.”

You both fell into an exhausted sleep feeling hopeful and satiated for the first time in a long time.

Waking up in Director Pike’s arms was not something you expected would happen on this case. You fantasized. You hoped. Sure, all of that. But you never, ever expected it would actually happen. But it did and it felt fucking incredible.

You already knew he was damn good at his job. It was impressive to see that his single-minded focus and massive talent carried over to his skills in the bedroom as well. You replayed the night before in your head as you showered, remembering with fondness all the ways Marcus surprised you, how cherished he made you feel, the sheer pleasure he brought you.

How were you supposed to focus on the case now when your mind was completely overcome with thoughts of Marcus. You were almost relieved when he slipped out of the room after sharing a cup of hotel room coffee with you. You weren’t sure you could keep your hands to yourself if he stayed much longer, the rumbled, sleepy look proving almost too adorable to resist.

Marcus met you in the hotel lobby, two large cups of iced coffee and a brown paper bag clutched in his hands an hour after waking up together. “Good morning, Jersey girl,” he greeted you with a wink, dark brown eyes sparkling in the soft morning light filtering through the windows.

You chuckled at the variation of your nickname, already knowing that would become his signature endearment for you. “Good morning, handsome. Long time, no see.”

His grin grew wider. “Come on. Let’s ride together. No sense in taking two cars anymore.” He handed you one of the iced coffees and the paper bag, pulling the keys to his SUV out of his pocket.

Clad in gray cargo shorts, blush polo shirt, and a pair of boat shoes, Marcus looked ready for a day spent on the water rather than investigating art theft. The sight made your mouth water and you gulped at the iced coffee. As he drove, you both munched on the bagels he picked up along with the coffees while waiting for you.

“I figured we’d start taking a look at some of these hot springs to get a feel for them and see if anything else in the clues pops out at us,” Marcus explained between bites. He always chewed with his mouth closed and waited until after he swallowed to speak. You loved a man with impeccably manners.

“Great idea. I put a list of them in the file.”

“I know,” he beamed at you. “I saw it last night, before… It’s what gave me the idea. Thought we’d start with La Paloma and work our way down the list. What do you think?”

You nodded, sitting back in the passenger seat contentedly. Much to your surprise, there wasn’t an ounce of awkwardness between you two after last night’s surprising turn of events. Everything felt natural, like it was meant to turn out this way and you basked in the effortless interactions between you and Marcus.

Marcus spoke to the manager upon your arrival at La Paloma Hot Springs & Spa and the gentleman gave you a quick tour of the facility before allowing the two of you to investigate on your own. You split up to cover more ground, the scent of mineral-rich water tickling your nose as you worked your way through the facility.

Searching the private soaking tubs, you ran your hands along the edges looking for evidence of hidden compartments that might contain the artifact. Still uncertain if that was what you were actually looking for, it didn’t hurt to search. When you found nothing, your focus shifted to the vintage décor including the old photographs hanging on the walls, looking for any signs or symbols that might be a clue.

An hour later, you and Marcus reconvened at the front desk, disappointed that you both came up empty, yet undeterred in your drive to figure out this case.

You visited a number of other hot springs, conducting the same kind of searches yet never finding additional clues or evidence.

“It’s like we’re missing something,” Marcus said as you both climbed into the SUV, burnt out and sweaty, after your latest search came up empty. You’d spent the entire day running from hot spring to hot spring across the small town to no avail.

“Yeah, but what could it be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s not just any old hot spring? We need more to go on.”

Just then, your phone buzzed with an incoming call from the TCPD. Another painting stolen right under their noses – or rather, right behind the officer’s back as he turned around while patrolling one of the galleries. The thief had lightning-fast reflexes, apparently.

“Alright, thanks Chief. We’ll head over there now.” You ended the call and relayed the information to Marcus.

“This guy sure is brazen. I’ll give him that,” he lamented, carefully spinning the SUV around to head toward the latest crime scene.

“He’s got some balls, nicking a painting while an officer is standing right there. It’s like he’s begging to be caught.”

“That or he’s just a fucking lunatic.” Marcus met your gaze for a long moment after parking the vehicle. “Is it wrong that part of me hopes we don’t catch him too soon?”

Your heart thumped in your chest, lips quirking upwards into a shy smile. “No, not after last night…” you admitted. “We could always stay a few days after solving the case and explore this.” You gestured between the two of you.

Shutting off the car, Marcus bobbed his head. His previously styled hair fell across his forehead, the heat having worn away the product he used this morning. “I’d really like that.”

The TCPD officer met you at the door and led the way to the scene of the latest theft, his shoulders hunched in shame. “I never saw him; he was there and gone in seconds. Managed to leave this behind though, taped where the painting had been.”

Marcus accepted the paper, holding it up so you could read it.

Where the serpent bathes in earth’s warm embrace, beneath the soothing waters, the heart of the sun lies hidden.

“This message is different. Different, but the same. I mean… I don’t know what I mean,” you sighed frustratedly.

Marcus patted your shoulder in a manner appropriate for a professional audience. “No. I get what you mean. It’s tying the clues together in a different way. Giving us more hints at once.”

Heaving a sigh of your own, you nodded. What a great relief to feel understood. “Exactly.”

Conferring with the forensics team first, you and Marcus departed when they confirmed the thief left no trace evidence behind. No fibers, fingerprints, or hair. Nothing to clue you in on who the thief could be. Nothing, not even on the adhesive used to tape the clue to the wall or the paper itself. The perp was either lucky or extremely tidy.

Seated once again in the corner booth at Harry’s dingy pub, Marcus devoured his burger while you daintily nibbled at your fries. The extremely high temperature ruined your appetite. The case file sat open on the table as you placed sticky notes on a photocopy of the latest clue.

“’Where the serpent bathes’… that has to refer to the hot springs, right? And the serpent would symbolize this Quintessential guy?”

“Quetzalcoatl. The god’s name is Quetzalcoatl, for Christ’s sake,” Harry chimed in as he dropped off a fresh round of cold draft beers.

“Yeah, that guy,” you said, pointing a fry at Harry in thanks. Marcus laughed at your adorable ridiculousness. You made investigating this mind-boggling case fun.

“Right. And ‘in the earth’s warm embrace’ refers to the warm waters of the hot springs as well. That’s caused by geothermal activity, is that correct, Harry?” Marcus questioned.

The grizzled old barkeep lingered by your table, too caught up in his own curiosity to return to his duties. “Mmhmm, that’s what they say. I’m no rock scientist, mind.”

“You mean a geologist?” you chirped, a shit-eating grin gracing your pretty face.

“Yes, you mouthy little shit. Don’t sass me or I won’t help solve this case,” Harry grumbled. For a moment, Marcus worried you would be offended by the old man, but your tinkling laughter convinced him otherwise.

Marcus stifled a laugh when you rolled your eyes playfully and re-focused his attention on the clue. “That could be the earth’s warm embrace part, then. And ‘beneath the soothing waters’ refers again to the hot springs.”

“Uh huh,” Harry chimed in again, pulling the case file closer to him, aged eyes squinting to read your notes. Neither of you would normally let a civilian get so involved in a case, but Harry proved himself integral to solving this particularly challenging and unusual case. Pointing an arthritic finger to the final line of today’s clue, beneath the soothing waters, he added, “It refers to the artifact being hidden there, beneath one of the hot springs.”

Harry slipped into the booth on your side, and you flashed Marcus a smile. The old man was fully invested now. Thankfully the bar was empty but for a few regulars who could help themselves as far as Harry was concerned.

“Ok, so to summarize, we know the hot springs are involved,” you stated, processing the facts aloud as well as in your head. “And we know that the artifact is hidden beneath one of them. The question we’ve been chasing all day is which one, right? So, do any of the known hot springs have a serpent symbol or painting or something along those lines associated with it?”

Marcus shook his head as you flipped through pages of notes. “Definitely didn’t see any in the ones we checked out today.”

“Oh, for the love of all that is holy, you two idiots will be my age by the time you figure this out,” Harry stood from the booth, his voice gruff with annoyance, though whether that was from dealing with the two of you or the effort it took to stand with aged, arthritic bones was anyone’s guess. “You’ll want to check out Riverbend Hot Springs in the morning. You’re welcome.”

Mouths agape, you both watched the cantankerous old man shuffle back to the bar, grumbling to himself the whole way.

“Did he just solve the case for us?” Marcus asked when his gaze shifted back to you.

“I think so,” you laughed. “Thank fucking goodness. My eyes were starting to cross from looking at this file so much.”

Looking it up on his phone, Marcus confirmed that the Riverbend Hot Springs were closed until morning. Knowing their work was done for the day, he flashed you a heated look. “Want to go back to my room? Maybe cool off in the shower?”

Marcus had a nicer room than yours, the walk-in shower encased in glass and large enough to fit a few people. The perks of being a director, you guessed.

You barely glimpsed at the room before Marcus backed you against the already deadbolted door. His mouth pressed against yours, tongue dancing along the seam of your lips, begging for entry. You let him in eagerly, tongues tangling and teeth clashing with urgency. His hands were everywhere, stripping away your clothes and sliding against already bare skin in turn.

Once you both gave into the spark, stoking the fire into flames last night, the want turned into a blazing inferno that neither of you could extinguish. Not that you wanted to, anyway. No, you were content to burn to a crisp as the fire raged.

Marcus had you stripped naked within minutes, his mouth having never left your own in the process. Eager to return the favor from last night, you sunk to your knees, undoing his belt and shorts as you stared up at him. Marcus tore off his shirt while you shoved his shorts and boxer briefs down his slim hips to pool at his feet.

“Oh, fuck,” Marcus moaned as you wrapped your hand around his hardened length, testing the girth and weight of it in your grip. You tugged playfully a few times, getting to know the feel of him. Still staring into his lust blown eyes, you slowly leaned forward to glide the head of his cock around your plump lips before slipping him inside your mouth. A delicious whine fell from his lips when your tongue lapped at the little droplet of precum without breaking eye contact.

Not wanting to torture him unnecessarily, you began to move, taking more of his cock into your mouth until he bumped the back of your throat. Bobbing your head, you soaked his cock with your saliva, sucking every now and then to increase the sensation. Your left hand tugged the base of him where your mouth couldn’t quite reach, twisting with each upward stroke to further enhance his pleasure, as your right hand massaged his balls.

Panting heavily above you, Marcus slapped his palms against the door to support himself as you continued sucking his cock. Experimenting with how far you could take him, you hollowed your cheeks, easing farther down his length and breathed through your nose.

“Jersey girl… ungh. Please, I’m gonna come down that pretty little throat if you don’t stop.” You could feel his thigh muscles flex and twitch with the effort of not blowing his load down your throat as he stuttered out the words.

Taking pity on the man, you eased back until his cock audibly popped out of your mouth, a string of saliva connecting you until Marcus severed the link by stepping backwards on shaky legs.

“You are too good at that, my little minx. Come here.” Marcus helped you up, leading you into the shower once you regained your balance. He kissed you deeply as the cool water from the shower head cascaded over you both.

The water felt good on your overheated skin and Marcus pressed you backwards against the sturdy glass. Hiking a leg up around his waist with one hand, he gently cradled the side of your face in the other. Your gazes locked as he reached around your thigh and teased your clit.

“So wet for me, my Jersey girl.” Already on edge from sucking his cock, you were drenched and ready for him. “Did sucking my cock turn you on that much, my Jersey girl?” You mewled and, with the slightest shift of his hips, Marcus notched his cock at your entrance, feeding you inch by inch until your walls gripped his entire length tightly. “Fuck, you feel like heaven.”

Droplets of water rained down your bodies as he thrusted into you, your lips pressed open-mouthed against each other, noses bumping, exchanging breaths and moans without actually kissing. The stretch was intense but pleasurable, and you could feel every ridge of him inside you.

You suddenly realized why that was.

“Shit, we forgot a condom,” you said in between moans, your hands grasping his plump ass to make certain he didn’t stop.

Marcus showed no signs of stopping, his hips almost seemed to pick up the pace. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Fuck no!” you gasped; eyes fluttering shut as he nudged that spot inside you just right. “Please don’t ever fucking stop.”

“Ok,” he breathed against your lips. “I’m clean and it’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone.”

“Same,” you replied. “And I’m on birth control, so please, come inside me.”

Marcus groaned deeply at that, his head shifting so he could nip at your neck, soothing the sting with little kitten licks of his tongue. Pulling back, he murmured, “Turn around.”

You did so, whining as he slipped out of you. With a gentle hand, Marcus pushed your upper body against the glass and pulled your hips closer to him so your back arched perfectly. Your tits were pressed up against the glass wall of the shower and, just beyond it, you could see your reflections in the mirror. Only a slight mist of steam swirled in the air from the temperature of the water, and it didn’t hinder your view at all as Marcus closed in behind you, slipping his cock back where it belonged.

You watched your reflections, mesmerized, as he fucked into you, his wet hair flopping over his forehead when he bent forward to kiss along your shoulders and neck. Your hands came up on either side of your head to brace yourself against the glass, hoping that the strength of his thrusts wouldn’t cause it to shatter.

Marcus reached a hand around your thigh, slipping between your legs to pluck at your clit as you fucked you. Every single cell in your body felt aflame, ready to burst at the pleasure racing through you. It didn’t take long for you to explode, eyes squinted shut as you keened.

“That’s it, baby. Just like that. Come on my cock, my little Jersey girl. I can feel your cum gushing around me. Fuck, baby.” Once again, Marcus talked you through it in the soft voice of his. He continued thrusting as your walls trembled around him, driving him right over the edge after you, rope and rope of cum splashed your walls as he made the loveliest sex sounds in your ear.

You stayed like that, pressed up against the glass with the weight of Marcus leaning against you, chests heaving, until you both came back down from the high. Taking a few minutes to actually wash the day off each other, you settled on the bed wrapped in towels afterwards.

The two of you talked long into the night and, unable to keep your hands or mouths off each other, you had sex twice more before falling asleep.

Unable to come to an agreement on whether backup would be necessary at this point, you and Marcus finally decided to bring one officer to investigate the Riverbend Hot Springs with you. An extra pair of eyes could be useful, on that you both agreed.

Known for its scenic outdoor pools on the banks of the Rio Grande, visitors usually flocked to Riverbend. The facility not only had the hot springs, but hotel rooms and spaces for recreational vehicles as well. The manager was less than pleased when Marcus informed him that any guests present would have to stay in their rooms and out of both the common and private pools during the search. The last thing the investigation needed was public interference or contaminated evidence.

Searching the private pools first to appease the guests and resort manager, Marcus swiped his hand over his sweaty face when you found nothing.

“Let’s check the common pools now,” he sighed, wondering if it would be another fruitless adventure.

Another two hours of searching – lifting stones, moving decorative displays, going inside the pools themselves, even going so far as to request a shovel from the grounds crew to poke around in the landscaping – turned up nothing.

“At least there’s only one pool to go,” you said, trying to stay positive about finding something. “This has gotta be the one, right?”

“Let’s hope,” Marcus replied. Drenched in a mixed of sweat and mineral water, he wanted nothing more than to slip between cool sheets with you and an ice-cold drink. This case sucked.

Located at the far end of the property, overlooking the Rio Grande, a rock wall encased the final pool for support given the topography on the side along the river dipped lower. Marcus directed the officer to start at one end while he joined you in working your way up from the riverbank. Thorough in your search, you left literally left no stone unturned. One particular large slab placed in the landscaping next to the pool like a decorative display required your and Marcus’ strength combined to lift, and you gasped when you saw what sat in hiding beneath it.

“Is that a fucking trap door?” Marcus asked with a grunt as he glanced down and pushed the rock slab to the side.

“Yeah, it fucking is.” Bending down to open it, Marcus stopped you.

“Wait a second, Jersey girl. We don’t want to just go rushing down there.” He called the officer over for a quick chat, asking him to find the manager and see if anyone knew anything about where the trapdoor led.

Minutes later, the manager and resort engineer joined the group. No one knew a damn thing about what they found. It wasn’t depicted on the as-built drawings or any other schematics the engineer had on file. That did not bode well. Turning to the officer, you asked him to call for back up.

“We’ll head down to scope it out. Come down once backup gets here. In the meantime, please keep the guests away from this area,” Marcus directed the officer and manager before turning to you. “Ready, Jersey girl?”

Pulling your service weapon from its holster, you nodded confidently. “With you at my side, I’m ready for anything.”

Marcus flashed that boyish grin before wrenching the trapdoor open. As suspected, narrow steps carved into the stone descended down into darkness. Before Marcus could ask for one, the facility engineer handed him a flashlight.

Stepping carefully down the steps with the flashlight held high in one hand and his service weapon in the other, Marcus descended into the dark unknown with you right on his heels. At the bottom, a pathway led through more rock, dim light visible in the distance. You reach out while walking along the pathway to find the rock is surprisingly warm.

“I expected it to be cool to the touch,” you murmured, not wanting to make too much noise in case someone or something waited in the shadows.

“Hmm?”

“The walls,” you pointed when Marcus turned around. “They’re warm.”

Directing the beam of light in the direction you pointed, Marcus touched the back of his hand to the wall and looked back at you with a questioning brow. “How?”

“I have no fucking clue,” you shrugged.

“Latent heat from the surface?” he took a guess.

“Your guess is as good as mine. We’re below ground deep enough that it shouldn’t be this warm.”

Marcus continued on down the path, the rock walls growing warmer the farther you progressed. Finally, you turned a corner into a dimly lit chamber, the air filled with oppressive heat making it hard to breathe. You both scanned the room for threats, finding none. The chamber was oddly free of spider webs or bugs or people, aside from the two of you, but a pool of water bubbled inside a ring in the stone floor. Above the pool, an abnormally large, fiery opal appeared to float in the air, the glow from it the only source of light in the chamber aside from the flashlight in Marcus’ hand.

“What the fuck?” you questioned, confused as all hell why the gem just floated in air. “I’m getting some real X-Files type vibes and I DO NOT like it.”

Marcus couldn’t help the twitch of his lips even though he was just as confused as you. “This must be the Flame of Quetzalcoatl.”

“Ya think?” Your nerves made you snarky, a trait Marcus found profoundly adorable and endearing.

Stepping closer to the artifact, Marcus shielded his eyes from the fiery glow. He reached out with one long finger, nearly touching the object when the grinding sound of rock against rock reverberated through the chamber. Jerking back instinctually, both you and Marcus drew your pistols on the sudden intruder.

“Who the fuck are you?” you blurted at the man, your nerves shot to shit, your FBI training the only thing holding you together at that point.

Wild-haired, with oddly composed attire, the man practically vibrated with energy, a glint of insanity in his eerily green eyes. Under one arm, he carried another landscape painting, likely just stolen from another gallery. As if by magic or something equally befitting the utterly odd nature of this entire case, the other stolen paintings appeared, strategically placed along the rock walls rounding the chamber.

“I really don’t like this, Marcus,” you said through gritted teeth. His concerned gaze met yours briefly. “Me either, Jersey.”

It happened, as these things tend to do, suddenly and unexpectedly. The man lunged forward, dropping the painting without thought, and reached a trembling, emaciated hand toward the artifact. Marcus matched the man’s movement, reaching for him rather than the floating, glowing gem. In the process, a glass pedestal you didn’t even know was there, nearly invisible but surely the reason the artifact appeared to be floating in air, toppled over, sending the artifact flying.

You watched, awestruck and frozen in shock, as Marcus tackled the crazy man to the hard ground and the artifact shattered against the rock wall, simultaneously. Almost immediately, the temperature plunged until a damp coolness filled the formerly stuffy chamber, and the man shrieked in despair.

“No! No! No! You’ve ruined everything!” The man continued screeching. Moments later, TCPD officers rushed into the stone room, a few assisting Marcus with securing the thief in cuffs.

Among the backup that just arrived, the police chief stepped up to your side as you gave Marcus a hand in getting back on his feet. “Strangest thing,” the thick-bearded, squat man in uniform said, “the temperature dropped at least twenty-five degrees out of nowhere, just as we started making our way down here. Am I to believe it had something to do with whatever happened down here?”

You and Marcus shared a look before shrugging at the police chief. “I have no clue what even happened down here,” Marcus admitted. Tilting his chin in the crazy man’s direction, he added, “Your boys will bring him in for questioning? We’d like a shot at him, too.”

“Of course. We’ll get him processed. Come by the station whenever you’re finished up here.” The chief followed the officers escorting the man from the chamber, leaving behind a forensics team to gather evidence.

Standing above the shattered artifact, you sighed. “How the hell do I write this up in a report?”

“Very carefully and creatively,” Marcus replied with a smirk.

The interrogation didn’t take long, the man caving like a deck of cards in the wind. His name was Edmund Fawkes, a local starving artist driven mad by the excessive heat. Already obsessed with ancient mythology and local lore, he discovered the hidden chamber containing Quetzalcoatl’s Flame and, seeking the power and prosperity described in the legends, decided to take possession of it by appeasing the ancient god with landscape paintings.

It didn’t work, clearly, but Edmund was relentless in his insanity, continuing his thievery until you and Marcus caught him.

None of it made sense and there were so many things that could be attributed to entirely coincidental circumstances that you didn’t really care how the pieces fit together. The thief had been caught, the paintings returned to the appropriate galleries largely undamaged, and the town was no longer in the clutches of a deadly heat wave. That was all that really mattered.  

On your way out of the police station, the case solved as far as the bureau was concerned, you turned to Marcus. “How long are you sticking around?”

Gazing at you with those chocolate puppy eyes, his lips twitched into a grin. “I have several weeks of PTO saved up. Figured I’d use some of that. Maybe all of it if I have a reason to.”

You grinned back at him. “I’m sure we could find a reason for that.”

An hour later, the sun dipping past the desert horizon, you found yourselves naked and neck deep in the soothing mineral water of a private hot springs pool. Given that business was completed, you checked out of the hotel the bureau set you both up in and reserved a room at the best resort in town for a couple days of relaxation.

“I’m going to miss this odd little town, especially Harry and his dingy pub,” Marcus said, pulling you closed to his side as you soaked in the soothing water.

“Me, too. I’m going to miss you most, though. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, both professionally and otherwise,” you admitted, leaning your head against his bare shoulder.

Marcus stilled for a moment before tightening his hold on you. “Why don’t you come back to DC with me?”

“What?” Your head tilted back to meet his eyes.

“You said you put in for a transfer back to the east coast, right?” You nodded and he continued. “Well, come back with me and we’ll have that transfer fast tracked. I’m certain there’s a position for you in DC. We won’t be on the same team, but that’s probably a good thing.”

You giggled at the boyish grin he flashed you. “If you’re sure, I’m game. I just don’t want you to feel like we’re rushing into anything.”

“Pssh, rushing, smushing. I’ve waited long enough to find someone like you. Now that I have, I’m not letting you go,” Marcus insisted. Gesturing between you, he added, “I mean it. There’s something amazing here, I know it. We can leave in a few days, spend a week or two exploring the city and each other before getting back to work.”

At a loss for a worthy response, you pressed your lips against his. The soft kiss quickly turned heated as you spun, straddling his lap, with your hands gripping the stone edge of the pool. Marcus ran his fingertips down the slick skin of your bare back as you squirmed into place, his cock swelling to life at the feel of you above, against, around him.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to ride you yet,” you murmured against his lips, grinding your bare pussy down on him.

“Now’s your chance, Jersey girl,” Marcus gasped through a moan. “Take me and use me, baby.”

Overheated despite the contrasting bite of cool air on your damp skin and warm water engulfing half your body, you eased yourself down onto his cock. You’d never get used to the exquisite stretch as he split you open. Drawing out the anticipation, you slid down his length with agonizing slowness, eliciting delicious whines from Marcus.

“Don’t torture me, baby. Please,” he begged to no avail. Peppering his handsome face with kisses, you kept the pace slow and torturous until he writhed beneath you.

At last, you took his full length inside you and started to move, bouncing eagerly on his cock with your head thrown back in pleasure. Marcus’ eyes stared at your breasts, bobbing along the water line and glistening from splashes of the mineral water as you moved on him. Mesmerized, he could look nowhere else, and his fingers shifted to pluck at the hardened peaks of your nipples.

The air temperature continued to drop as night set in, steam rising up from the warm water of the pool, dancing along your skin in beautiful swirls of water vapor. The clear, starry sky the perfect backdrop to your love making – for that’s what it was now, so much more than sex this time as you gave your whole self over to this wonderful, unexpected man who changed your life in a matter of days.

Overwhelmed with feelings, you keened as his cock nudged at all the right placing, your clit stimulated by grinding on his lap. “Fuck, Marcus. I’m gonna cum.”

Marcus thrust his hips upward at that statement, eager to drive you straight over the cliff into that beautiful abyss. “Do it, baby. Come all over my cock, my beautiful Jersey girl.”

Always good at following instructions, you did just that. Your eyelids slipped closed as you spasmed around him, head thrown back in ecstasy, his name falling like a prayer from your lips.

“That’s it, just like that,” Marcus crooned, pressing soothing kisses to the sensitive skin of your neck. “You’re strangling my cock, baby. Gonna make me come too, sexy girl.”

A few more erratic thrusts upward and Marcus came with a fury, cock pulsing with rope after rope of his spend deep inside you. Breathless and exhausted, you clung to each other until shivers settled in from the plunging temperature.

“Let’s get inside, my Jersey girl. We’ll clean up, climb under the covers, and cuddle while we make plans for the future.”

fin

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

About representation of child abuse in ML

I’m sorry if this isn’t the proper way to send it I chose it because I can actually divide paragraphs here. I am also assuming none of the abuse submissions are reblogged because of the subject.  I was neglected as a child(parents often forgot to feed me, didn’t care about my hygiene and I couldn’t go to the doctor when I should have) and emotionally abused after coming out as trans as a young teen(constantly being pressured to stop being trans, treating me as stupid and melodramatic for being trans at all, showing open disgust if I did something “too manly” etc.). I was a bully for two years in middle school before realizing the weight of what I was doing. I had to put in a lot of effort to improve, especially since guilt was feeding into already-existing self-hatred. When I first saw Miraculous Ladybug on TV I didn’t expect child abuse to come up at all since it’s a hard topic even for adults and Miraculous didn’t seem like the show to tackle a complicated topic. Looking back they shouldn’t have tried because they end up giving incredibly bad messages. As you point out Chloe is treated as irredeemable and sent off with her abusive parent as punishment while Andre is never treated as the neglectful parent he is. While children can be abusive to their parents Andre is the mayor of Paris while Chloe is a kid, he holds a lot of power here that he refuses to use at all. He also doesn’t try to get Chloe psychological help which would be the correct course of action seeing her mother despite the fact it wouldn’t even make a dent in his pocket. It would be better to either have Chloe’s redemption fail while highlighting how her parents affect her behaviour but don’t justify it or have a straightforward redemption arc, maybe one where she doesn’t get forgiven but still improves to show kids there’s a way out. “I will always be like this because of abuse” is an easy thought to fall into and ML accidentally ends up teaching it to kids, Jesus. The other thing that really bugs me is the treatment Gabriel gets, it seems to me that the show tries to use his love for his wife and son as a redeeming quality but I am not sure on how good an idea that is. It’s better than if he were to hate Adrien but loving Adrien doesn’t excuse any of the things he does. In my experience most abusive parents do love their children, they really think they are doing the best for their kids. The kicker comes in when they end up harming their children in some way but refuse to acknowledge it. If your parents always end up doing more harm than good and refuse to stop, then love alone can’t save it. I don’t think that point was there as Gabriel’s love was portrayed as a good thing because this show doesn’t do nuance. Also the plot Gabriel abusing Adrien should mainly be about how Adrien feels. Of course it will affect other characters but Adrien is the one getting abused by Gabriel. Gabriel is also an incredibly controlling parent who takes away Adrien’s agency and the show never really addresses that. Adrien is a bystander in a story-arc about him getting abused. He never learns that Gabriel is Hawk Moth(writers seem to think we forgot Chat Blanc and even then that episode was more about “Ooo hero gets akumatized”), we never learn his thoughts about the whole situation and Gabriel completely gets his way in the end, leading to a happy ending. Adrien’s contribution to the finale is giving up the agency he had left. This really left a sour taste in my mouth. If you’re not going to deal with how abuse affects Adrien, why write it in at all?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First of all, I’d like to thank you for being able to step forward and talk about your history with your parents. I’m very sorry that you had to go through that.

Second of all, you make a good point with how much the show empasizes Gabriel’s love for his family supposedly justifying his terrible actions, with or without the mask. It doesn’t help that, like you said, he doesn’t even get to confront Gabriel about their relationship himself, and ends the season believing all the delusions Gabriel had about him being a good father. 

Hell, even the movie does a better job at pointing out how much Gabriel has hurt his son over the show itself, and I’m pretty sure that’s why so many people prefer that version of Gabriel over this one. 

[carefreemonk]

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: Key

Pronouns: she/her

Birthday (no year): jan 6

Where are you from? What is your time zone? west coast canada, PST

How long is your roleplay experience? between 25+ years

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? jesus uhhh that was like 25 years ago. started out “gming” worlds for friends as we ran around the neighbourhood throwing pine cones at each other n stuff. you know. the usual. then came the interwebs (i was like idk 11 and debatably should maybe not have been left to my own devices there). found avidgamers rp forums via neopets. medieval/fantasy, seattle alley cats, and pokemon rp were i think all my first written rp experiences in close/overlapping order

How were you introduced to TOA? old ferp pals on twitter kept making mention of it. eventually succumbed ha ha

Do you have any pets? black cat named cabbage. she was the 16th meow meow i fostered before i stopped (maybe get back to it some day…)

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) when the trees are bright red and gold and the air smells crisp and you can comfortably wear a jacket again… :softsmile: and the leaves are crunchy... tho i haven't crunched leaves since the wasp incident

What is your IRL occupation? admin/bookkeeper

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? webcomics, travels, ultimate frisbee, wanna try more sculpting

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? FFXIV, HSR, picross, zelda, smash bros sbeen a long time but shhh, stardew valley

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: ghost, haunter

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! only ever broke one bone (knocks on wood), it was my collarbone from being cross-checked into the boards in ice hockey. have "completed" two novels, no they won't see the light of day. have, over the years, drawn a cumulative 500+ comic pages' worth. i miss it

How did you get into Fire Emblem? fe7, shared a cartridge with my brother i think. just seemed in our wheelhouse w nintendo being what we had at hand

What Fire Emblem games have you played? 6 & up... i think? no spinoffs other than i guess?? feh? up to like. book 4 or smth

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: fe7 and fe7. nostalgia bias strong

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! matthew, henry, azama, louis, and. hector ig? idk

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! matthew. perky lil thief with a side of heartache… 

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 past key thought claude was p handsome i suppose

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: henry (100% still henry) - Fates: conquest- niles, birthright- azama, revelations- kaze. prob wouldnt change. - Three Houses: claude (prob felix in whatever next run i do) - Engage: louis/lapis (saved, finished one, went back for the other hahaha. maybe miss goldmary if i ever run again)

Favorite Fire Emblem class? thief or mage

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? maybe an archer? with p average stats. like i'd Wanna be a cool mage but idt it suits me hahaha

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Deer for sure

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? boon bow, maybe lance bane flying, faith budding talent in heavy armour, auth

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? Brodia? idk

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔 Tee Oh Ay

Current TOA muses: Hector, Azama

Past TOA muses? Ewan, Matthew, Henry, Florina, Goldmary

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Ewan, and nah. he was a delightful lil ball of sunshine but I don't feel I need that anymore

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? somewhat prickly, probably. also three of the guys i've written have canonically gone "Oho!" and another three i like w some overlap in there are the 'closed eyes' type so... whatever that means. In general tho: I like muses with whom I can explore aspects of human personality I wouldn't necessarily venture into on my own. (certain brands of conflict, responsibility, etc)

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could?  idk i think if i really wanted to write a kind of char i probably. would. but i guess the 'much more like Actually Super Intelligent than i can realistically pretend at' would be it i suppose

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? When you get to write characters with a shared history you've built together over time/across threads. When you can refer to past shared experiences, positive or negative... sobs. chefs kiss

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? A Hector near the end of his schooling arc might be neat (he's learned what he's came here for, he's ready to return to Ostia and do Uther and his people proud, and more competently than many mightve imagined at that) but. When that day comes he might really be actually going home soon lol.

Favorite TOA-related memories? lock and key jailbreak. bunker dead by daylight. unscripted both as a mod and as a player like. all of it. the first toa zine. the memes in all the discord pins (aka the laughs). really there's so much

Present or past tense? whichever my partner prefers idc that said have def written many more years in past tense than present despite toa's lean toward the latter

Normal size text, small text, no preference? normal but again idc i am perpetually zoomed in on any given window anyhow

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 sometimes matthew pokes his head up but he'd have to kill sampo so :shrug: living blissfully in my lane. sometimes think a genuine villain might be fun to try tho

[olderthannetfic]

Re: https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/738859016693874688/why-do-some-popular-things-have-such-small & the person who replied to it in Another ask about Slay The Princess --

This answer was a facinating read as someone currently in the James Cameron's Avatar fan space -- i was only 8/9 when the first movie came out, and wasnt very into fandom Yet, but around the early 2010's when i Did get into it and went looking, there was almost Nothing to be found (and the few that Did exist were either short character studies written by some of the smartest people on the planet or troll fics), less than a 1,000 Total in the media tag on ao3 iirc?? And i remember feeling Fine with that, for the exact readon you both mentioned -- the first Avatar is a very well rounded film, no matter what everyone cares to say about it. It was Written to be a stand alone film, and bc JC is good at what he does, that Worked, and there truly wasnt much to write fic about besides Extreme au shenanigans or a few theoretic between-scenes, you know the type.

Then the second movie came out Last year and then the Game came out THIS and the fandom has just. Exploded. It's almost funny because so many of the younger fans, who were in it for x readering with the Sully kids, keep complaining about how "the fandom is dying 😭😭" in the tags the past few months and i just have to stare at it like pal just because we're not still shooting metaphorical fireworks about how much we loved the sequel and game doesnt mean we've all Moved On 😩 Im still Diligently mpregging the resurrected villain in my new longform crack fic thats probably going to be finished around the time the 5th movie comes out. Wee child you must Power through with us. Increase Your Fandom Stamina 💪😎🏃‍♂️!!!

But yeah it's just been Extremely interesting seeing how drastically things have changed, going from that completed, hard-to-write Wholeness from how compact the first film was vs the Flood of worldbuilding and lore and new characters we've been given (and have yet to Get, there may be some evil f/f fics beyond the horizon...) and how much the Sequel has contributed in the process of making Avatar easier to enjoy Casually, rather than as a "stereotypical", "extreme" strawman'd Avatar fan of yor (our elders who i respect most vehemently, for their help in understanding and writing the Na'vi conlang in all our fics 💪❤).

Even though the canon movies have a lot of problems, ive been luckiy enough to see the Fandom do what its always done best -- ive met wonderful people and Incredible artists while the life experience + background knowledge who can flesh out the areas of the concept that JamCam has yet to delve into, for whatever reasons he claims to have, and ive And others have felt moved enough by it all to start writing our Own incredibly self indulgent and sincere stories, within the same framework! Bc good lord it really is a sandbox. The moment you start diving into all the Implications of Avatar's universe, how the RDA is run, how Eywa works, etc etc etc.... jesus. ive lost so many hours of sleep reading real academic papers on Actual xenobiology (yes its a real thing, it both is And isnt what you think it is) for these movies, its nuts.

So some days like Now i just have to sit here like. Wow. We built this house And made it a home. and its Awesome. these asks made me want to gush about it 🥰 thats all! tysm!! Love this blog SO much, keep up the great work n have an awesome day everyone!!!

--

[ladysomething]

hun, you sure as hell honor your name, couse you're mad. as in mad mad. madhatter kind lf mad iykwim

still, I missed my favorite mad mad angsty-hate-complot-ish-sex writer and being here but now I'm back from the dead to do once again 5+1

1. btw loved the chapter, but I had to remind myself that it's ficticion, because I was this close to pulling my hair. my goodness they really are stupid aren't they? and I might need to kidnap and torture Christian to get him to spill the goddamn tea because Max won't do it. asshole. and funny question I have a feeling you won't asnwer or was already asked. what's the relationship that Jean Luc and Max have? like, was he there in the oast with Kelly as well? from where and how do they know each other?

2. look, I like Pierre irl. kinda. sometimes. but here he's getting on my nerves more than he would usually. I really don't get his side of his relationship with Charles and that's something I forgot to ask from last chapter. because the heck was that shit of letting Charles do stuff. like, first he acts like a big protective brother, then he starts kinda controlling and then he goes on to do the alpha version of dick meassurent with Max? I desperately need some light on this. is it gonna be cleared some day in the future or am I never getting that answer?

3. and the fact that Charles got the end of the stupid fight like what the actual fuck is wrong with people in this society. this is not a movie where two idiots fight for the damsel in distress. do better *judgemental look*

4. very time Max uses his alpha voice, a fairy looses their wings. and he himself looses a part of his heart. I find it awfully confusing that he keeps doing it over and over and over, and then dares to make me feel bad about him feeling bad about Charles feeling bad and the action itself. fuck him honestly. I mean, Charles' on the task, but you know what I mean

5. is the 2025 ferrari line up happening here as well? does Max knows LH is gonna be Charles' new teammate or how's that situation here, because I feel like that could be trouble. wonder why.

+1. jesus FUUUUUCK that shit was a campfire. hot. like. hooot. I've recently discovered that I have a thing *specially* for Max in fics *specifically* when he's about to have sex with Charles, or already having sex with him and then he laughs or smiles or smirkS GOOD FUCKING LORD. and he did here. I almost passed out of hotness. or. is it horniness? idk

+2. your uptades always catch me when I'm at work. so obviously I have to either risk myself to eternal bullying and open ao3 in the middle of my office or in the lounge or go to the bathroom for 20+ minutes and have everyone thinking I either died or ate something thay was rotten since 1965. it's always worth either way. I saw someone saying that this fic hits like cocaine and look. I've never done cocaine but I share the feeling. sure as fuck I do. this is my way to thank you for your service contributing to get me insane piece by piece.

omg you're back!!!!! hi!!!! I hope everything is ok with you.

obvi I won't answer, but everything will be revealed in the fic!! but I willlll sayyyyy ... Max and Jean-Luc have known each other for a while :)

we have absolutely not seen the last of pierre! but I can kinda answer a little bit, even though it's a cop out - but a lot of his behaviour can be boiled down to the fact that he's and alpha, and feels super protective over Charles.

for real Charles was catching strays. he was like ..... but what'd I do?

hahahahaha yeah he's a complex little bean isn't he?? hates using it, and yet .... makes you wonder what kind of things he was maybe taught as a kind about how to deal with omegas ....

hah I wish I could make that ferrari line up work, but tbh this was all plotted out before that announcement so. no, its currently not a thing in this universe.

+ 1. Max is just. so hot. in every iteration of him.

+2. please let me know if you ever read it at work (either in front of people or in the bathroom) so I know if that happened. I'd really love to know.

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie Prompt: Slight AU to S2 where Roy and Keeley aren't together. After both Jamie and Roy come back to Richmond. The lads are still mad at Jamie and Roy ignoring him does help matters, it starts to take a toll on Jamie. After he gets battered by the guys during training and Roy makes a deeply hurtful and insensitive comment, Jamie is pushed over the edge. He disappears during lunch and everyone's annoyed while Ted's got this horrid feeling. Will comes running in hysterical saying Jamie's up on the fucking roof, standing right at the edge. Ted goes running with everyone behind him. It's a horrific sight, and Jamie says some truly awful things about himself. Ted manages to distract Jamie while Roy and Beard sneak up and yank him back to safety. Before he passes out, Jamie looks up at Roy and says something like " Why can't I stop fuckin' lovin' ya?... you hate meh." Roy is completely shattered, everyone is guilt-ridden because they took it too far, Jamie flinches whenever any of them try to get close to him, Ted is triggered because of his dad. Roy's gonna feel guilty forever for contributing to someone actually not wanting to live anymore but he's determined to make the effort to earn Jamie's heart back for real, as is the team.

Jesus. Yeah alright I can work with that *rubs hands together*

tw depression obviously, and fast and loose probably unrealistic mental health repair. 

Jamie is sitting on the floor of his house watching his mom cook. It’s been a long week, he forgot to take his meds for most of the week before, he hates when he does that. Never feels quite right. The guys treating him like he’s the same person he was when he left is horrible. He knows alright. He knows he sucks and is horrible.

He flashes back to the roof. God their faces.

God he told Roy he loved him.

He probably feels the worst about Ted though. Ted looked like he had seen a ghost.

There’s a knock at the door, “Jamie please, come on open the door I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Georgie goes and opened it. It’s Roy.

“Jamie is just now getting better, I shouldn’t let you see him but he said if you come by he’d want to see you.”

They walk back in, Roy sees Jamie sitting against the cabinets, he drops down to him even though Jamie knows his knee can’t take it. Georgie touches Jamie’s head on the way out, “be in the living room love.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jamie shakes his head, “you couldn’t have known.”

“Should’ve asked though.”

“All the guys wanna see you but I told them to wait until I asked if it was okay.”

Jamie curls his legs closer to his chest. “Depends on what they wanna say this time around.” Roy sits so he’s leaning against the island cabinet, they’re across from each other.

“I know how you feel. Which I know isn’t helpful but I get it.”

Jamie jerks his head up at that. He tilts his head. “After I knew I couldn’t play anymore I figured what’s here for me. Everyone liked soccer star Roy Kent. Not bum knee can’t run more then three miles Roy Kent. My sister snapped me out of it.”

“I never knew.”

Roy shakes his head, “no one did. Just like no one knew about you. And I’m sorry again.”

Jamie uncurls his legs, he takes a breath. “What about me saying I love you.” He has to know. Roy laughs, it’s a bit of a strained laugh. “Talked with my sister if she thought I could be bisexual, she smacked me and told me she assumed I was. Didn’t know I could like a guy. Didn’t know I was allowed.”

Jamie blinks. Oh. That’s not what he expected.

“So are you? Bisexual?”

Roy stretches his knee, it pops, “yeah, never really realized that’s what the feelings I had for a prick of a man who’s too good and too young for me.”

Jamie blinks again. Oh they’re doing this.

“I think I’ve loved you since I first put your poster up-” Roy cuts him off “while I appreciate the dedication please don’t tell me your specific age.”

Jamie crawls over to sit next to Roy. He reaches out and takes his hand. “We’ll be fine. I’ll be okay.”

Roy nods, “don’t do that shit ever again. I don’t think I can handle it.” Jamie realizes Roy has tears in his eyes. He wipes them away with his free hand. “I won’t don’t worry.”

They’ll be fine. It’s a long road but it’s one they have each other for.

[simpliao]

i know u wrote ‘let you break my heart again’ quite a while ago but it would b so cool if u wrote a part two where schlatt wonders why y/n had stopped attempting to hang out with him and ect and it ends in fluff maybe?

good person at heart ; (irl) schlatt x reader

summary : we do bad things even if at heart we're good people.

info : angst hehe, (kinda) cheating, semi-fluff (not really), smoking, disordered eating, hospital, depressive inner monologue,

a/n : I don't know if I'm gonna post after this but I hope this feeds you guys for the next handful of months ! I know the request was for it to be more fluffy... and sweet. but because of what this is based off of I couldn't do that. Thank you so much for 200+ followers even if I literally have not posted since last year. I love you guys, pro-tip, never fall in love.

"So, next week same time?"

"Yeah, sure. See you then."

Routine, as it's become. Another woman to pass through his life, momentarily fulfil selfish desires, to have nameless faces leave to come again like clockwork. Distantly he could make out her footsteps, and the almost silent opening and shutting of his front door. Letting eyelids fall and leaning back to rest against the bed frame, a heavy sigh left his lips. When did it get this bad? When was the last time he'd felt... Whole.

Since Y/n, likely. Taking in another inhale of heavy smoke, lips clenched between the cigarette twitched at the thought of her. So... Damn sweet. Thinking about her, knowing how she'd react to seeing him like this, a mess, had him practically spit out the smoke. Putting it out carelessly at the ashtray that sat by his side.

So real. Unbelievable how real she felt, unlike any of the other women he's kept around him. Kept for a night, if kept is an appropriate word at all. They were blurs that served as gaps in his memory, hours if them amounted to no more than a handful of fuzzy colours and lights. That woman, no, who once was his woman he couldn't for the life of him forget a second in her arms, of her in his life.

So vividly he could make out hazy mornings of watching her chest rise and fall as her relaxed features radiated in the warm luster from early rays. Almost as serene as the specs of dust that wafted the air only visible by yellow dawn. Time with her was so eventful, so easy to find yourself in the present moment and just feel... In love.

But that was the fear wasn't it? Breaking out of thoughts his eyes fell to his illuminated phone, a notification. Curious, it was Ted. He was in town at the moment, but as far as he was concerned he was out with Shae... Shit, had he forgotten more plans today? This wouldn't be the first time.

'Jeremiah Schlatt call me back as soon as possible.'

That, accompanied with an hour's worth of missed calls, had his back straighten and rush of energy flood his body. Wasting no time dealing back, it couldn't have been more than three rings before the phone was picked up.

"Where the hell are you? I've been calling you for an hour– this is..!" His voice gruff and loud enough to resonate in his ears, consequently contributing to the growing of a dull pain within his frontal lobe. "I'm at home, sorry. Did we have plans today?" There was murmuring following his question, two voices discussing in a much softer, uneasy tone from what he could make out.

"Jesus, you sound out of it. Get some sleep I'll call you back tomorrow morning." There was the overly worrisome Ted he was more accustomed to, his voice returning to the phone with a complete one-eighty of tones. It practically sent him into whiplash, a twinge in his gut telling him something wasn't quite right. "Ted, what the fuck is going on? You don't just call people like that, where are you?" Hesitation highlighted the silence, he could practically hear him gulp as a reassuring female voice was at his side.

"I'm with Shae and..." His voice caught up in his chest, his girlfriend's murmurings being heard from the other end of the line even if unintelligible. "...We're at the hospital on 51st Street." I could feel my heart sink in my chest, "I'm on my way."

"Wait, wait, wait..!" He cleared his throat and halted in his steps, half naked and feeling the chill of the room after throwing himself out of bed. "...neither me or Shae are sick. I, I figured you had the right to know what's going on, but it's a delicate situation. I don't think it's smart for you to just show up out of the blue–" "Ted, what the fuck is going on?"

A breath was drawn, and the following words made it seem like his whole world had fallen apart. "It's Y/n. She just... Collapsed. She hasn't been eating I just... I didn't know who to call she's still stubborn but I don't think–" "I'm on my way." Before any protests could have been made the phone was hung up and the previously languid Schlatt was dashing round the place for his misplaced articles of clothing and his car keys.

The rest was a blur, with a conscious heavy with worry and thoughts centred around only her there were only flashes of memory of driving to the previously mentioned hospital (how he remembered he didn't know in that state); his brain was on autopilot.

And yet someway, somehow, he blinked and before him was the woman he once (and likely still) adored. Her skin paler than her usual tone, sunken and sullen. Her head tilted to the side, gaze pivoted towards the window. Her monotonous heart rate was barely audible, it was like he was underwater. Throat dry, neither said a word, his palms sweaty and pulse feeling as if it could burst his veins open.

"Y/n..." His voice low, knowing he had no place here, not after everything. He stood closer to the door than her, she seemed tense with him being there and he wasn't exactly relaxed either. Just as he spoke those words, he could visibly see her grip at her arms slightly tighter, her body at a slight tremble he recognized she would do before she cried. He hesitated to say anything else if his voice alone had already done so much.

"..what are you doing here..?" Her head slowly spun towards him, fully in view he could see just how worn down and tired she appeared. She was frail, eyes once filled with so much life now dreary with eyelids relaxed and harsh shadows under them; tears brimming and threatening to fall. Chapped lips with every lethargic movement seemed as if they were so heavy, as if she struggled to even open them. "...I heard. You..." Schlatt hesitated on his words, a little lost to find them.

"Save it." Whatever force she had left she used it to spit out those words, "I'm alright..." "Obviously not." He let out softly, carefully making his way over to sit at the chair by the foot of the hospital bed. "I just..." "Why did you come here?" Her voice strained asked with such desperation, confusion evident with tears ever present. He took a breath, "I came because I still care." And that was what it took to cause the surface tension to break and tears fully roll down her cheeks, unable to even manage reaching to wipe them away. "You came to lie to me." She choked out between broken sobs, he held such a gentle, caring look while she fought to not completely break down into ugly crying.

"No, no I didn't–" "cause if you cared I wouldn't be feeling this way." Her words spoke such conviction, eyes once saddened had an edge of power. The wrath and justified venom dripping from her words was enough to have the air catch in Schlatt's chest.

"You're right." He wouldn't deny it, everything that's happened up till now was a result of his own selfishness, never having the slightest thought about her. "I'm not here to make things right between us."

"...then..?"

"Y/n, I'm sorry." His head quickly dipped downwards, a prolonged pause was taken before a sharp inhale could be heard. "I'm not worth destroying yourself over." He didn't dare raise his gaze, knowing he'd be heartbroken at the sight that would lay before him.

"...why wasn't I enough for you..?" Hiccups between cries tearing at his heart, he clenched his teeth and shut his eyes tight. "You were more than I could have ever imagined." "I'm not... I couldn't be... I've seen the women you're around now..."

"And yet you're more beautiful then all of them." "...then why have you been so... cold?"

Cold, and cold was what he meant to be; pushing her away to save himself. Yes, she was too real; just like every other person he kept too close. One by one, they all did what he did to her: disappear.

He wanted so desperately to explain himself. Tell her stories of how other lovers had done a similarly cruel trick, family issues, people that were supposed to be there for him to rely on... But he couldn't. He was as bad as them, he hurt her tooth's extent because he couldn't handle commitment or trust.

She was the victim, no doubt in anyone's mind. Who was he to make this all about himself?

"I'm just not a relationship kind of guy, I... I should of said something, and for that I'm sorry. But please, please don't beat yourself up about this. If what we were is what's causing this."

She deserved to thrive, not to be weighed down by him.

At heart he was a good person, even if his actions didn't show as much. She didn't need to know, and he wasn't ready to get better.

[i-just-look-at-pictures]

I am irrationally emotional about this because whether I had 20 views or 20k views it really makes no difference to my love of their story but I just want to take a moment of disbelief and thank anyone who has ever taken the time to comment, leave kudos or even so much as read my fic.

This is really quite excessively open but I started writing TSLIHSALHUT (note to anyone who is considering writing a story - give it a simple name because it is a mouthful to type from hereon we will call it sleeps) when I was essentially on house arrest awaiting an operation for a health issue. I was depressed, lonely and really just existing. I reached a point where I didn't even want to exist because what was the point?

I had finished the last term of my master's and was being left behind by all my friends who were getting on with their lives and planning all these incredible things whilst I felt I was drowning. I was housebound, so desperately ill and had given up on my life ever becoming better. Whilst rewatching Peaky Blinders I found an old oneshot from years ago that prompted me to draft a chapter, one chapter. I will add that my degree was in creative writing but I had lost all confidence in my own voice and lost all longing to write, to do anything I had once remotely found enjoyable.

But I wrote it and afterwards I posted said chapter because I thought why the fuck not. It was a short seven-chapter fic that would 'look at Tommy's and Grace's life together.' Snippets, never did I intend their entire journey to be documented in this. What changed? You all.

I say without an ounce of exaggeration that writing this fic saved my life. Slowly, slowly, with each chapter, with each upload, with each kudos or comment, something reawoke. This wasn't just writing about my favourite characters anymore, this was a community that embraced both me and the small work of creativity that I brought to the table.

For such a violent show, I have never been a part of such a wonderful, empathic, tender, beautiful community. I had been surviving for such a long time that I had completely forgotten what it felt like to have a purpose, a drive, a hobby, SOMETHING that I was proud of and you have all been with me every single step of the way.

This is too emotional for a Wednesday night but Jesus Christ, I don't know how I would ever thank you all for giving me my voice back. It started as a whisper over the summer and your kindness and support have enabled me to carry that over to my everyday life.

It was a safety blanket to fall back on. It was something to get me out of bed before midday. It was innumerable posters reaching out to me after my dog was put to sleep. It was strangers on the internet checking in with me after my operation. It was support and companionship and it was recognition that, even though I felt I did not matter, you thought I did. You thought my work did.

So thank you. For every single person in you 20,062 (I mean that is just fucking ridiculous, have you read it... it's shit!). You could not save me when I was drowning, and you never even realised I had entered the water but you each contributed to the ladder that allowed me to climb to safety.

I got my operation, my health grew better, I finished my degree, I went back to work and life got better, but I sincerely do not think I would be sat here tonight in the position I am if it had not started with that first chapter of Sleeps.

Never underestimate the impact you have on strangers on the internet. Never underestimate the value of your worth. You save lives and change lives every single day and for that, I will love and appreciate you for the rest of my life.

So, emotional time over. Peace out. I have Spag Bol for tea and a chapter to edit.

Beth x

[nobodysdaydreams]

HILBERT PICKED ONE HECK OF A TIME TO DROP HIS TRAGIC BACKSTORY (or my reaction to Episodes 25-26 of Wolf359).

First off I would like to welcome any newcomers to my reactions, courtesy of my poll about Blessie's name, as well as my post about my unhinged yet, apparently shockingly plausible theory that Blessie was created with DNA from Reneé Minkowski.

You can click the links to view the posts, but in the meantime, I'm gonna get right to the reaction, because I've been studying all day, and want to reward myself with a little treat. Sorry for ranting so much about Blessie, but I find the character extremely compelling. I hope Blessie makes it to the end. He deserves it. If not, you best believe I’ll be writing some crack fic.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts. Especially in this one because it is late, and I am tired.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell

Episode 25: Lame-O Superhero Origin Story

Oh right they are going to Hilbert for help. Bad idea. BAD IDEA.

Hilbert don't try to play therapist. You are NOT in the same boat. You treated him like a science experiment.

Also. This is the same voice actor talking to himself. Pretty incredible. Pure talent. Honestly.

And yeah Hilbert, don't shame him for working with Hera and Minkowski. It's called friendship, something YOU wouldn't understand.

"Ever met anyone who could get things done on their own" "only Lovelace"

...so NOT Cutter then? Hm. I wonder what Hilbert and others have helped Cutter with along the way then. And I wonder what it is about Isabel Lovelace that makes Hilbert so terrified.

Besides, you know, the huge bomb.

Lovelace. Lovelace. You need to be reasonable.

Yeah. HILBERT DOESN'T FEEL GUILT. It's creepy. "Latent, it can be controlled. I've made vast improvements since last round off full scale trials"

...

...

...

Hilbert.

Hilbert.

What happened the last round of trials?

"Command classified you as expendable and gave you exposure samples before I even knew your name"

Oh my gosh I hate Cutter and command so much. And Doug is NOT expendable. Would else is gonna make jokes to lighten the mood?

"They gave orders to terminate your life at Christmas"

^That line is so messed up. Especially since it's also his birthday! I love how hard they rub in how evil command is, like, this could not have waited 24 hours for their evil plans, they couldn't even have that decency, oh no, it had to be on Doug and Jesus's birthday when Minkowski had made them a nice dinner. There was no other way to do this.

They are the worst. They're the worst.

"I did not ask for this hand Eiffel, but I will play it through to the end. For your sake as much as mine."

Hilbert...what hand are you playing? Why do you want to "radically improve human life". And what does radically improve human life mean for you? Does he have a family member that's like...dying of cancer or severely disabled and he's doing this for them or something, because while that's very sad, it does not excuse murder.

"How did they go?" "Slowly..." Oh...huh. Hilbert kinda liked them, but killed them anyway. Why? Hilbert dude, what is your game here?

"What did all that niceness accomplish? You have chance to make a contribution to humanity?"

Hilbert. Two problems with your logic.

So far your contribution has been mostly murder of humanity, so unless that viruses ends up saving millions, you're not really proving your point. Your point only works if there is payoff, and right now, I am really not seeing it, you are MILES aways from Earth and all the people you plan to hypothetically save or sorry "improve" (geez the tmbs comparisons with that one)

Do you HONESTLY believe CUTTER, Mr. "I'll throw you off this building Rachel" is gonna use it for good? Really? You think you get out of this alive? You think you get what you want? You think anything good comes out of this? You're a fool.

EXACTLY! CALL HIM OUT DOUG.

"We can do better"

THERE IS NO WE HERE HILBERT YOU DON'T HAVE A VIRUS IN YOUR BLOODSTREAM. AT LEAST NOT THAT I KNOW OF.

Right! No consent! That's why it's wrong!

Hilbert: "I'm asking you now. At least believe that all I want is positive results".

...are they trying to make Hilbert sympathetic? Because he's still very misguided, and it's gonna take a lot.

Lovelace, Minkowski, you need to work together. There is a middle ground here. One that won't get everyone killed.

"Decima is my life's work but I don't like it." THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING IT.

HILBERT... sister? Why does she need antiradiation meds?

"Ah! Look Monitor! This conversation not productive!"

Hilbert. THIS IS THE ONLY DECENT THING YOU HAVE EVER SAID. But also me when I'm trying to avoid a conversation.

Olga. Nice name.

Aw she had cats.

Oh. He lost his other siblings to radiation poison. He doesn't even remember them.

...

Not that I feel bad for him. He's still an idiot.

When he was four? That's sad.

Huh. Looks like they both have families they'd rather forget. What happened to yours Doug?

Good question. What is his real name. Dmitri what now?

Yeah I wouldn't trust him either. But yeah, he does at least feel like a real person now. Yeah, maybe Doug will "come around". But you know what Hilbert? Maybe you will too. We'll see.

Oh we're getting Lovelace's backstory too I love this!

"Imagine losing him slowly, so he knows there's no hope. Do it four times."

Oh my. Yeah. That would break you.

And yeah: Minkowski DOES care about Lovelace. But we're forgetting the plant monster. Blessie matters too.

Oops. They fixed the ship. Well at least Lovelace trust them now.

More aggressively? What...no, please you guys have trust now, we do not need to pull out the knock out gas! This is a fragile situation. YOU ARE NOT THE ENEMY COMMAND IS. CUTTER IS.

Oh no. NO. NO NO NO NO NO.

DOUG!

HILBERT. I DO NOT FEEL BAD AT ALL. I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SISTER. YOU ARE MURDERING A MAN. YOU MURDERED SO MANY MEN. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT TO YOU HILBERT. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.

...but something tells me it wasn't.

Episode 26: Do No Harm

Oh and this episode title. "Do no harm" yeah, they BETTER do no harm. Eiffel can't die now! It's the middle of season two! Not even a season finale! We never got to find out his big secret about his family.

Hilbert you have explaining to do. Lovelace has to recognize the symptoms. Okay it sounds like she's being helpful. This is good. Crisis brings people together.

They better save Eiffel.

Anti-viral agent? Yeah it better work. And Hilbert she does make a point. How can they trust you?

Lovelace please calm down. I know you lost people but EIFFEL IS DYING. Hera please watch her so she doesn't do anything rash.

Oh gosh these gasping sounds... good voice acting but geez...

Ah. So his immune system is reacting to something else, which consequently also leads to it attacking the virus? Then what is this "something else"?

Hera called him her best friend 🥺

Yeah Hera. Call her out...but also, that was a bit harsh. She lost everyone, and she just wants to help you too.

I also love that Hera is willing to acknowledge that Lovelace's plan leaves her behind, but is okay with it, because it will save Doug and Minkowski.

"No one should have to live through that" Hera knows because that's her life. "And you shouldn't do the same to anyone else" GOOD POINT HERA.

"Fear is the only language you listen to you" "you need a better dictionary" oh boy.

I guess they're not getting along anytime soon.

LUNG COLLAPSED?

That's very serious. Hilbert. This is your ONE shot at MAYBE getting any semblance of...well maybe not redemption arc but something.

Oh boy. What do you have to say Hera.

Yikes. Well Hilbert, now you have motivation. I hope you're thinking long and hard about this Hilbert.

INTERNAL BLEEDING?

GIVE HIM YOUR OWN BLOOD THEN.

Oh great they don't have the right blood.

...Lovelace? Please. LOVELACE.

WHAT IS HER BLOOD TYPE?

I don't even know my blood type I should look that up.

...unusual radiological signals from the star? What does that mean?

Hera. Lovelace. Please get along.

"Don't you dare say I don't care about you. I don't say it because I can't" Oh my goodness.

Oh dear someone hug her good lord. And you CAN be there for them. Right now. BY GIVING BLOOD RIGHT NOW.

"The dumbest person I've met, admittedly it's a small sample size" 😂

"Four other people on this station" WHAT ABOUT BLESSIE!

...does...does Blessie have the blood for the job?

YES LOVELACE HAS THE BLOOD FOR IT!

Doug is the one thing holding them together. Maybe they can move forward together from here.

Fair enough. Lovelace is not getting along with Hilbert, but "a man's life is at stake, that is above all else, on this we agree". Huh. Seems Hilbert's coming around. He was trying to kill them earlier. I guess talking about his sister struck a nerve. But I've still keep a gun on him. Just in case.

29%. Those are rough odds, but you don't have any other options so... oh. Doug doesn't want to leave her? 2.7 years left?

"Don't you want to go home?" oh please tell me they don't split up the team. Minkowski is gonna have to go back, she has a husband.

And uh. What happened. That was not a good sound.

Tell me Hilbert didn't open the door.

Tell me the aliens didn't show up.

WHAT.

Well that...is not supposed to happen. SHOCKWAVE?

ALIENS? TIME LOOP? PORTAL?

UGH... it's super late guys and I gotta get to bed, but MAN I hope I can listen to more soon. Thanks for reading!

[ohhtobeagooner]

Thoughts at full time? The Rice and Jesus goals shall live rent free in my mind for a long time

omd what a match….. in a nutshell:

backline being restored made things feel more secure and we play so much better without partey it’s not even funny. zinny coming back has made a noticeable difference.

fabio was wonderful when he came on, the next step would be for him to start and play a lion’s share of the match, essentially switching places with havertz (ideally), whom at this point arteta seems to be playing just to make him worth his wages.

mikel seems to be at least starting to learn in terms of subs which is a good sign. out first lineup was solid on paper, but not working to finish off chances in reality, and that is something to think about.

bukayo needs a rest. reiss needs minutes. are you connecting the dots.

eddie needed to be more involved more, i didn’t see him on the end of balls in the box enough, which greatly contributed to our not getting a goal in the first half.

aaron made me nervous😭😭😭 i would kind of like to see raya sometime soon because i’m curious as to why he gave up a starting position to come here if he is never going to play like what did mikel tell him

rice is settling in nicely, not very flashy but an important midfield pivot. delighted to see him score his first goal and really get to make his mark with the fans at this amazing club

gabi was fantastic as usual, and a joy to watch. i would have loved to see that shot go in

great energy from the goonerinas, we really needed this and in conclusion: we are winning. what are we winning, exactly? yes.

[lesser-mook]

"the beauty of jiro" Riiiight, the beauty of more wasted potential

Underwhelming Mha character #24 of 300-something

She has less going for her than June from Avatar, and yet has more screentime lmfao & biggest highlight beside FAILING to slow down Nine is some redundant festival concert to make a kid smile or some shit

Just more show boating because cause thats all these kids do beside cry & scream ideals. Show off 24/7 with good intentions and thats called heroism

"All i know is, you made my friends cry!" Chp355

Jesus Christ, absolute trash dialogue for this nothing character who's highlight is saying "do your best" which becomes a childish mantra in that joke of a final arc

If it werent for her unique design she'd be as irrelevant as Animal boy Koda

Because if Horikosheesh cared he would realize her Quirk & speakers should make her one of the most dangerous students in the class (the ability to amp soundwaves is dangerous as fuck, its why Echo Echo is one of Ben's more underrated yet deadly aliens AND why Canary to an extent could be an issue for Superman/ if he's nerfed ofc) but that respect never happens for Jiro does it?

I know what she did, I know she's a good kid. I read & watched the story... But what did she REALLY accomplish? Any Ws on the line of Deku taking down Overhaul? Nah

Which is funny because According to Horikosheesh, EVERYONE is the protagonist, no side characters , everyone is a winner but only a chosen few are allowed to get big Ws, and they're mainly boys.

Funny how that works.

But thats why videos like this exist: to inflate importance where there is none in place of the author giving a crap because he clearly didnt beyond the design in the first place, hence her contributions to actual important shit in the story that moves the actual plot

the beauty of mediocrity

[manogirl]

My Year in Reading, 2023

For the first time since 2012, I didn't do a GR reading challenge. In every year between 2012 and 2021, I read over 150 books. Some years it was closer to 150, some years closer to 200. In 2022, I read 83 books. In 2023, 79 books.

See, in 2022, my world broke. My brain broke. The big bad burnout turned my brain inside-out and upside-down and I lost reading. In that same long first half of 2022, I realized I had to leave librarianship. Not just my job, but my fucking career. See, I was a fiction librarian. I had this ultra-rare position that was my dream job, and reading was a part of my job. When people tell you not to make the thing you love your job, I know. I know what they're saying.

I spent the second half of 2022 living in a state of nearly constant joy. And I wasn't reading for a lot of it. If you asked me three years ago, I couldn't possibly have foreseen this turn of events. And for some of 2022, I was stressed about how much I WASN'T reading. I am trying to figure out how to express this, because it didn't feel BAD to not be reading. It felt right and it felt like I didn't want to be reading. But it also felt wrong because reading was a huge part of my life, and then....it wasn't.

I decided 2023 had to be different, in terms of how I related to reading, so I jettisoned the reading challenge and just let myself...be. Here's what I found out:

I read a lot of BL manga. I'm not a huge graphic novel OR manga fan, so this was a new and unexpected joy. This probably isn't surprising to you if you know me on tumblr through BL, but it was surprising to me. I figured I would dip into queer romance novels, but nope, it was the manga that I loved.

Danmei isn't for me. No idea why, because it seems like it'd be just my cup of tea, but it isn't. I like it, I just don't LOVE it, and right now I want to love the books I'm reading, especially if it's fiction because...

I read SO MUCH NONFICTION IN 2023. It's what my brain asked for, so that's what I fed it. It also probably contributed to my lower numbers; dense nonfiction takes a LOT longer to read than fiction/manga. I think...I'm a person who feels passionate about learning; I love it so so so much. And when my consumption habits switched to mainly frothy TV shows about men falling in love with each other, my brain was like, uh, you better feed us some facts, lady. So I did.

I...like?...memoirs? In my book club, I'm the person who hates memoirs. Memoirs that everyone loved I scoffed at. Memoirs, yuck. Except...apparently no. Apparently I like a memoir now. I guess this is maybe an offshoot of the nonfic bias but nonetheless, my brain continues to shock me and the people who know me best.

Anyway, here is a short, lightly annotated (not in order at all) list of my fave reads this year:

Tom Lake by Ann Patchett. Fuck yeah she doesn't miss.

Doppelganger by Naomi Klein. Oh this is the real shit, and she also doesn't miss.

Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Okay, a fiction book that I devoured. Sports + love + grief = a meditation on life.

Monsters: A Fan's Dilemma by Claire Dederer. I sometimes go back and read my highlights from this, because it was so fucking powerful and spoke to me so powerfully.

You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith. I loved this in a way I don't think I can explain. Simply stunning in all the right ways.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin. Video games + love + grief = a meditation on life. Fucking amazing.

Stay True by Hua Hsu. Oh jesus fuck this is sad but it is so so so so good.

Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree. Cozy fantasy that isn't romance is something I need more of in my life. Yes to orcs opening bookstores and coffee shops and very little fighting.

Witch Hat Atelier, all existing volumes, by Kamome Shirohama. I've been sharing these with my 8 year-old niece and it's just the nicest little happy thing.

Vagina Obscura by Rachel Gross. Yes, please explain my fucked up innards to me. Endometriosis ftw!

Fat Talk by Virginia Sole-Smith. Real, solid advice and real, solid evidence, and real, solid writing. Two thumbs up.

Maybe someday I'll do a post about how I've been tracking my reading since November 11, 2004. I guess we're hitting the 20th anniversary this coming year, after all.

I guess I do know one thing: I'm never NOT going to read at times. I still do love it, even if my needs and wants around it have changed. Happy New Year, all!

[majorasnightmare]

Please elaborate on the Ganondorf Au(s), I gotta know, lol I my immediate first thought was this weird/elaborate Coffee Shop AU where Zelda and Link are running some small-time locally owned franchise (like two, maybe three stores)... and Ganondorf rolls up in some Super-Starbucks trying to take over or push them out of business... why did that come to me so quickly, lmao

OKAY S O

jesus christ this is long

i find ganondorf to be a deeply compelling character. this is in part to the way pre botw zelda games utilized him as both a villain and as this symbolic culmination of evil.

now other games may have done this, but none immediately come to mind, as one of the most compelling aspects of ganondorfs character is that before botw? every instance in every game was the SAME dude (except skyward sword but ill talk about that later). that allowed games with stronger narrative focus to flesh him out in greater detail, while a game with a more cut and dry story but flashier cinematics could really sell his menace, and future iterations could carry the boons of both.

now the zelda timeline is a mess, and the games themselves were not built around that concept. at most youd get direct sequels like majoras mask, or games directly referencing an older title as part of their history, like twilight princess. one should not take the timeline as Word Of God Canon (even though there are multiple official books that reference it), but they all kind of work together to give you a bigger picture. this is especially true for the 2d zeldas, as Ganondorf The Character wasnt really an explored concept back then. you instead had dark beast ganon (who once took human form as dude named Aganhim but hes. separate. like hes canon and important but most of what he contributes to Ganondorf As Character is the dark evil wizard vibes).

in general, when looking at ganondorfs character youll mostly be examining four titles: Ocarina of Time, Twilight Princess, Windwaker, and Skyward Sword. skyward sword is unique in a lot of ways because it IS made with the "zelda timeline" in mind, and is the timelines official beginning. here we get the forging of the master sword, the first imprisoning war, and! a guy that is NOT ganondorf! demon king demise is the end game boss here, and while i could dedicate a post to analyzing his limited screentime, whats important to this convo is that demise lays a curse upon his defeat. those bearing the soul of the hero (link, who reincarnates), the blood of the goddess hylia (zelda, who does not and instead has descendants inheriting power) will be caught in a cycle of war and blood with the bearer of demise's hatred (ganondorf!). and THERES the money. that last part there helps contribute a LOT to further analyzing ganondorfs character throughout these games because, as mentioned before, they build on each other!

the plot of ocarina of time is not deep. its an enjoyable game, but like most zelda entries, its a paint by numbers tale of a good hero overcoming an evil villain who kidnaps a Notable Woman as the final build towards the climax, wherein you kick his ass free the girl and kill him. (kind of. ganondorf never really DIES) HOWEVER. twilight princess, windwaker, and skyward sword, by virtue of focusing on this SAME DUDE, end up giving a LOT of retroactive depth! its a really fun phenomenon!

that tears of the kingdom throws in the fucking trash! for!! some reason!! WHY. why the hell would you spend 25 years making a layer cake piece by piece and then throw it in the trash in favor of box mix cupcakes??? I DONT GET IT MAN.

totk isnt. a BAD game per se. theres a lot to enjoy about it.

narrative is not one of those things.

tiptoeing around spoilers here but discussing them generally

the dragon tears are, among other things, about ganondorfs rise to power, to reach his current end game boss state. despite this. he has a grand total of three scenes before he GETS that power. one of which is him laughing, one of which is a poorer retelling of a scene from OoT, and the last one is his introduction where he does fuck all. WHERES THE MOTIVE HERE????

OoT is my least favorite entry of the 4 games listed above. it has a lot of dated narrative elements and systemic issues that continue to plague nintendo to this day (misogyny and racism as per usual). despite this, i find myself returning to OoTs narrative and characterization REPEATEDLY in totk because in so many aspects it just storytells better! yes totk is an open world game with a hands off narrative approach. but botw has that concept down pat and is a more satisfying experience. totk is a more narrative focused botw, and yet its storytelling sucks WORSE than botws and doesnt even measure up to OLDER TITLES. more detailed rants on that are for another time.

so what is a bitch with a special interest in zelda and a fixation on its most charismatic villain to do when presented with an otherwise enjoyable game that is deeply unsatisfying in regards to aforementioned autistic bitchs favorite villain?

obviously make an au thats TotK But Better For Me And My Bros Specifically (thanks @villalunae ily forever)

but if your gonna do that, might as well go full self indulgence, right?

due to aforementioned Ganondorf Characterization Layer Cake, theres a LOT of fun Implied Nuance to play around with, of most importance is ganondorfs relationship with the gerudo, and the gerudos relationship to hyrule. demises curse and the elements of destiny and fate add some fun compounding factors to really amp the tension up, but in my opinion only really ever serve as The Last Straw so to speak. its important that ganondorf is someone who chooses to be this way! but choices arent made in a vacuum, and prying those circumstances apart gives you so many potential ways for this to End Differently.

so seeing that TotK Ganondorf is NOT the OG OoT Ganondorf, the idea here is to further explore the concept of like. WHY is he a villain? villain is a socially constructed category afterall. how do you focus on those circumstances and their effects on a person? how does the political situation of hyrule play into this?

a personal favorite interpretation of mine (and other ppls judging by the plethora of fan content in a similar vein), is this idea of a Redeemed Ganondorf, a variation where ganondorf is NOT the final boss, but instead an ally of link and zeldas. wrt this particular au, that looks a lot like locking everyone in a room together and see who starts throwing things first.

so with that in mind, i just ended up going through scene after scene in totk and thinking of how a redeemable ganondorf would play out. what kind of personality would he have, how would he interact with these other characters, what are his relationships like? whats his driving motive, how committed to these ideas is he, whats his breaking point and why? and then playing with those ideas and throwing them against other characters, how does he interact with the sages, how does he interact with rauru, how does he interact with ZELDA?

a lot of that informs the baseline of how we ended up going through making the au (alongside a hefty dose of writers worldbuilding dilemma lmao) and also serves as the foundation of subsequent sequel aus that as of right now exist solely as amvs in my head.

so in summary theres two?? maybe 3??? that im just marinating in.

the main unnamed totk au, where the triforce trio work alongside each other to put an end to demises curse of hatred once and for all, with a large focus on character dynamics and their relationships to each other (and also plenty of self indulgence. ghirahim got tossed back in there. and fi)

and then, after that, a kind of hypothetical sequel game to totk au. set 100 years after the ending events of totk au, the trio + co navigate a world where the threat of ganondorfs rise to power is no longer the primary problem hyrule suffers, but instead a power vacuum in the realm of demons, leading to a slowly rising threat of demon incursion. focuses on how your "party" (ganondorfs reincarnation, links reincarnation, and a non-princess zelda, alongside naboorus reincarnation, and impa (neither a reincarnation nor a descendant but once again paying homage to impa as a recurring character)) gets along with each other and how, as the years go by (i have. TWO seperate time skips so far), their relationships to each other change, and how their goals and ideals grow and change in response to the shifting landscape of threat in hyrule

the last one, technically, is a modern au that mostly works as background context for triforce trio shitposting.

(ur idea for a coffee shop au is fuckn FANTASTIC btw i love it)

GOD this post got long. thanks for holdin out so long for all this! i can definitely make long as fuck posts about. p much anything in totk and how it gets changed or reinterpreted in totk au, or ganondorfs relationships in that au, because they live in my brain rent free.

[genlossneg]

ok. i didnt mind genloss, it was ranboos first massive project, theyre only 19 and a streamer, ok. but oh my god would it kill to take an improv class. the first 2 episodes felt like an snl skit. especially when it was branded as original and then was just some sort of frankenstein of different horror tropes from ranboos favourite horror media, that just reminded me of snl stealing joel havers skit lmao.

there were so much issues with it and i feel like i wouldnt mind as much if it was branded as a horror comedy a few months before the show, not 3 days before the show. a few months before and the weeks leading up to may 24th, it was branded as "you arent ready for this. this is groundbreaking, nothing will ever be the same after this show. this is serious." etc and then i think it was like 3 days before may 24th there was that fucking showfall media psa that just felt like ranboo saying "oh btw its a comedy" without warning it caught me so off gaurd lmao.

then he streamed after that sfm psa released and, if i remember right, people were asking about it being a horror comedy in chat and ranboo was like "well yeah obviously did u think id make a project 100% serious? no lol" (dont quote me on that though its been a while) now theyre saying gen 0 and gen 2 are going to be completely horror now, but i dont think thats true bc they also said gen 1 was mostly horror and none of it is

speaking of, the advertising was just lies lol. the whole "little to no filler :D" thing. it wasnt like ranboo didnt expect the improv to last that long bc the expected runtimes (from their tumblr post on may 23rd i think) were sometimes longer than the actual ones. 1st ep was meant to be 1-2 hours, it was 1 and a half, so that much filler and standing around going "what the hell man" was PLANNED. they just lied about no filler to make people excited. just be funny and i wont mind the filler. i like sneegs humour in his streams but here he was just bickering with ranboo. same with ranboo to charlie, charlie was the only one making actual jokes so when ranboo and sneeg were alone it was just "wait so why didnt you just-" "well idk i thought u woul-" "well why would i-" and when i tell you it drained my soul.

ive been a massive ranboo fan for about a year (im recovering dw), and after the game theory episode i got really hyperfixated on genloss (up until the sfm keynote thing i think). i was hyped for it back when T_1 was the only thing released for genloss, and followed it all the way up to the streams. i watched them live and my face was just like 😐 I WAS SO DISSAPPOINTED LMAOOO

the box being 18k pissed me off so much bc an experienced filmmaker/writer/director could make something so much better than genloss with just that 18k. i aspire to make my own live action thing one day, and like, hearing them go "oh yeah the box was 18k and jermas face prosthetics were 10k teehee🤪🤪" was just. AAAAA. and the thing is, like the prosthetics were funny, but spending TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS as a BIT from jerma going "what if i took off the mask and it just doesnt look like me lol" then framing urself as jesus christ and a victim. i am so mad.

idk how to feel about ranboo anymore, i used to watch like every 2nd stream for a while but then the whole "GUYS BUY MY MERCH also racism bad MERCH!!!!! BUY!!!!" thing made me rethink lol. the racist and misogynistic undertones in genloss made me so uncomfy, and while im not poc so i cant speak on that, i have enough sense to know that having the only poc in the entire show play evil rats is so tone deaf.

and niki!! i was worried when the teasers were coming out bc every single person shown in it was a white guy (and a white enby), so i was kind of happier when niki showed up, but then she died within the hour to "commentate on misogyny in media". ranboo thought that he was commentating on misogyny by contributing to it. did they think this through at all. i would have LOVED if they did something special with niki and something powerful, but all that happened was she showed up, cried, then died and now ranboo fans are going "ranboo was so real for this!!!". ik niki had control over her characters writing but im sure ranboo was the one who decided when certain characters died and stuff.

also i hate to say this but the mask flashing to signify if he was in control or not was EXACTLY like a thing in the undertale fanfic (sfw im not weird) i wrote when i was 12 💀💀the characters eyes would flash when they were under control bc edgy. it was so weird watching genloss with that in the back of my mind 💀💀💀💀

in conlusion, genloss had so many flaws and so much easy fixes that it just feels so sososososososo rushed. another year in the oven wouldve been ok i think.

woah this is long im so sorry i do not think only type oops

- the i feel like i should label what kind of anon i am lmao anon

sorry before i get to anything else the undertale bit caught me so off guard omg.

anyways.

it wasnt like ranboo didnt expect the improv to last that long bc the expected runtimes (from their tumblr post on may 23rd i think) were sometimes longer than the actual ones. 1st ep was meant to be 1-2 hours, it was 1 and a half, so that much filler and standing around going "what the hell man" was PLANNED.

this!! the way the second stream just.. dragged was so rough.

the poc/women diversity discussion is something we had on the blog a bit ago as im sure you've seen so i don't have a ton to add but. yeah there were certainly choices that got made there.

very much enjoying all the essays getting dropped in here (even if i feel like my responses are weak sometimes lmao)

[lastweeksshirttonight]

April is here and so is more looking back at the past ten seasons of Last Week Tonight. Wooo!

I'm going to aim to have Last Lee Tonight posted every week on Thursdays. Work is always a wrench in my plans but I'm pretty sure I can keep up that pace. They'll let me leave at some point right? hahaha help.

Now that the admin notes are out of the way, let's get cracking.

Last Lee Tonight (wherein John waited three episodes to dump music knowledge on us and honestly I'm impressed he waited that long) Season One, Episode Three

(original air date: 5/11/2014) Major topics covered: global warming; campaign finance and 2014 Senate political ads; Russia/Ukraine tensions

"History was made this week. ...Technically, history is made every week, that's kind of how history works."

We are still in that unique transitory period where John's team has figured out that longform segments are probably the way to go... but aren't really sure how to best utilize the rest of their show's time. The first two episodes were marked contrasts to each other structurally and were easier to compare. This third episode is all over the place, rushing through the first small segment on football, before covering a wide array of information and sources on Russian actions in around 8 minutes, which then gets us to our first main segment about ten minutes in. You can tell that the writers are still really trying to work out how to best structure their strange new show.

We start the episode talking about the first openly gay player in the NFL, Michael Sam, something I swear happened both earlier than and later than 2014. I fucking love that ESPN completely ignored the player in question's sexuality and just talked stats and genericisms. SPORTS!

We don't spend long there, as we move straight into discussing the present Ukranian/Russian tensions, first through the lens of Eurovision. I am truly shocked that John hasn't covered Eurovision every damn year, because it's the kind of overly theatrical camp nonsense he adores. We get a very Daily Show-esque bit where John grabs a paper way on the other side of his desk to quote Russia's entry, and it makes me sad that the audience barely registers it as a joke.

Also shit Conchita Wurst won Eurovision nearly ten years ago. I feel so fucking old.

Russia also recently annexed Crimea at the time, and John briefly covers the struggles Putin will have with the annexation. Putin is busy minting a two-pound commemorative coin over his 'victory', so we get a fake commercial for the "Worthless Desolate Landmass Commemorative Coin". This feels very much like a Bugle bit, complete with the satirical underpinning of acknowledging that Russia will actively make Crimeans' lives worse. And obviously Putin shirtless on a horse.

(I know that continually mentioning other things John has done that line up with these LWT bits probably seems a bit harsh or uncharitable, but LWT was clearly still trying to find a voice that wasn't cribbed from the two productions John was most associated with - to say nothing of the gigantic shadow The Colbert Report cast over every talking-head show in its wake. There's a lot of what I'd consider essential LWT that's been completely missing from these early episodes, from the common running gags of being a furry and shitting on his appearance, to a more unhinged level of social disruption and trolling, to even some of his linguistic choices - and that honestly makes sense. John has said multiple times that no one on the show had any idea what they were doing at this point, so why not pull from things that worked before?)

The first major story starts 10 minutes in, and regards campaign finance. The FEC has allowed bitcoin contributions to campaigns and jesus christ kill me now

Sorry. Campaign finance just innately pisses me off, and John gets me by basically saying "what else is left" while listing off all the campaign finance fuckery of the past few years at that time. I wish 2023 Me and 2023 John did not have to see what else was left.

John's joke about cribbing band names from the Kentucky Derby is gold. Tag yourself I'm California Chrome.

We get our first delightfully off impression of the series from John in this section - it's the rich evil Southern gentleman voice, in the form of Mitch McConnell threatening to kill people with a shovel over his love of coal. No amount of context will help me explain that better.

John also confirms that Mitch McConnell is not a homegrown Kentucky girl like his then-competitor, Alison Lundergan Grimes, by noting that "Politifact rates that true". I laughed so hard at that I had to pause. Please bring that gag back.

The Kentucky piece is overall worth watching, as it hits how campaign finance has influenced political advertising in ways directly detrimental to statewide and nationwide issues of import. The only part of this on YouTube is the capper, where John makes the most over-the-top and morally repugnant ads he can possibly think of. Trigger warning for gory violence including disembowelment, implied animal cruelty, and old man and middle-aged nudity. (Required note from this blog: it is not John Oliver nude. Fucking weirdoes, the lot of you [/j]) Link is here bc the video is, quite reasonably, age-restricted.

We now move to our very first "How Is This Still A Thing?", with the subject "Dressing Up as Other Races". Honestly no notes here, this segment came out the gate strong and basically in the same format it retains in the current day. (Seriously stop using other cultures as a costume.)

Finally, with five minutes left, we get to the segment Wikipedia thinks is the main one, on climate change. (The pacing of LWT Season One is a rollercoaster.) Global warming in 2014 threatens everything, yet 1 in 4 Americans think it doesn't exist. I would like to travel through time to scream at them and John thinks even talking about that kind of stat is fucking pointless. Bill Nye is brought on to have a statistically representative debate on the topic, which involves a random fuckload of people being on stage at once. I love the chaos but this is a very slim bit.

This was the weirdest episode to watch so far, I think. They took the lessons of the last episode and did attempt to apply them, but we aren't quite at the sweet spot of LWT pacing and structure yet. We'll get there eventually, I'm sure.

Random notes:

Lee obviously focuses on important things corner: After the absolute banger that was "red check pattern" last week, we return to neutral blue shirt and bubble-patterned navy tie. The unique tie elevates this to a 8/10 look, but one thing I cannot wait to get to is his "bold outfit choice" era of shit like silver suit and blue check shirt.

John describing bitcoin as something only "heroin dealers and assassins" use makes me yearn for the innocent time of 2014, when people were not trying to sell me every goddamn coin and ape doodle and metaverse on earth.

The YouTube team for this episode truly had no idea what to clip for this one. Their main segment doesn't have an authorized clip, and I don't know why they decided to take a 5 minute segment and make two clips out of it, an abbreviated version and a full version.

Speaking of weird shit on the LWT YouTube, have this 45 second bit of HBO selling the fuck out of their new show and John being obviously uncomfortable with it. However, in this clip he is, and I say this with a minimal amount of bias, hot as fuck. ("I'm no one's idea of a photogenic human being" SHUT UP MATE MY GOD)

I found this ad on their YouTube as well, which was very fun. Back when we expected some actual timely news discussion on LWT!