#jk rowling why

[mayday396]

One thing it hit me when I was scrolling through Harry Potter stuff and I was like, "Oh lord....how did they survive 7 years in Hogwarts" and it was "HOW THE FUCK did the Patil Twins and Cho Chang like not freak out at the fact that Hogwart's Food had no Rice or Noodles"

Like Hogwarts is British, the amount of Rice they are going to get would be from Welsh Rice Puddings, Irish Dunmurry Rice and low chance of Cornish Game Hens with Wild Rice Stuffing, but OH HELL NAW there are no Noodles.

Cho Chang and the Patil Twins must be screaming internally being like,

"Where the Fuck is my Briyani?"

"Where is my Mala Xiang guo when I NEED IT?"

"What do you mean there isn't Chongqing Mian?"

"They don't even have Tikka Masala? WTF?"

And so in Every Fibre of my being, my headcanon is that the Patil Twins and Cho Chang hang out at each other's Houses so they can finally get their Asian Food.

They also make Electricity or Steaming spells to run a Rice Cooker or just Steam a bowl of Rice they got from a bag of Rice and packets of Noodles they brought from home.

Imagine waking up in the Middle of the Night and it's just Cho Chang studying near the Fireplace while having a whole set of Guò Qiáo Mǐxiàn, like she got a platter of Quail Eggs, Ham Slices, Chicken Slices, Vegetables, Rice Vermicelli and a pot of Hot Boiling Soup from her Cauldron Levitating over the fire in the fireplace and just looks at you and be like, "Sup"

[jessieroses]

Dear Joanne Kathleen Rowling,

[bixels]

Always an experience watching the leftism leave FNAF fans when someone mentions that Scott Cawthon financially backed fascist politicians.

The switch from posting hardline leftist tweets about boycotts and signal boosts and critical takedowns of politicians and celebrities to ‘ohhh, well. everyone makes mistakes. who can blame him, listen he. he donated money to gay charities too. that makes it ok! a millionaire in his forties is allowed to have political beliefs. does it even matter? just let it go!’ is whiplash inducing. The antivaxxer celebrities have got to go, but this one horror dev who quietly handed wads of cash to antivax lawmakers? He’s chill, he can stay.

The charity thing is so funny too because suddenly utilitarian positive-negative point counting is the way to go. Maybe an abacus would help calculate the net good of donating to the Trevor Project minus donating thousands of dollars to Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump. -10 points if I push a kid in a lake but +11 points if I help an old lady across the street, so I’m chill. You can’t judge me. Hey, maybe. Just don’t push a kid in the lake period. How fucking low is the bar when we’re excusing maxing out the possible dollar amount of donations to Mitch fucking McConnell. That should be like. Default you’re a bad person.

[shallanigans]

It's so embarrassing having grown up as a Harry Potter fan. Every time Joanne says some new shit, I have to remember a different website where I have a Harry Potter-themed username and immediately change it, lest people think I associate with Holocaust denialists.

I bet one of these days I wake up one morning and the whole internet is like, "Breaking News: JKR eats baby because it didn't tell her whether or not it was trans" and then some deep hidden part of my brain awakens and I sigh and change my Skype handle from 2012.

[goldenromione]

A female character shouldn't have to be gay, childless, and/or morally gray in order for you to consider her to be well-written.

[paranoir-antares]

whistleblowers leak a bunch of documents demonstrating that doctors are consciously and intentionally taking advantage of trans people, consciously and intentionally pushing experimental expensive treatments without proven benefits, consciously and intentionally sacrificing their trans patients' health and wellbeing for profit

immediately, stupid people:

"somehow, jkr is to blame"

[mistarover]

"how can you shit on harry potter when pjo is just as bad?" yes pjo has its own issues but damn at least the black character isn't named fucking KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT

[daisy-mooon]

remember to pirate LOONA's music tho because their company doesn't pay them and is using their money against them in court.

fuck jkr and happy stanning!

[veethebeequeen]

Me: I should go to sleep

Also me: pulls up Ao3 to start a 300k fanfic at 3 am

[stromuprisahat]

I don't know if you've read Harry Potter, but if so, what do you think? Personally, I have a problem with grossophobia in books, as well as the way Lily Evans, Harry's mother, was written. The books completely shattered the visions I had of her in the movies. This female character is awful to me, in her treatment compared to Severus and James. How can you keep from laughing at your best friend, being harassed, head down and underwear out?

I've made myself read HP some sixteen? years ago... mostly so I'll be acquainted with it enough to criticize it, since I hate all those fashionable crazes, and I found them annoying and stupid already as a teen. I didn't particularly like it, with the exception of the third and the fifth book, and I've managed to finish the whole then-published series soon enough to witness the insanity that was publication of the last book (and guess enough of the story to genuinely hate the ending).

I've never re-read them, and I don't really intend to, although I have the series in Slytherin edition, because IT'S FUCKING SYLTHERIN BITCHES! and I have it whole in Czech once they published it with pretty covers, in case mum and my great-uncle decide to read it.

I know the books have plenty of issues, including stuff I wasn't thinking about while reading them, but honestly- the only good thing I took from them is that the Hogwarts Houses are fucking cool, and once I made my family do the official sorting tests, plenty of our relationships suddenly made sense. Oh, and wands! If you need to constantly carry around a phalic item, it better be a magical piece of wood!

As for Lily, I don't remember nearly enough about her, aside from her and Severus' relationship being both-sidedly toxic af, and Marauders being a bunch of assholes to specific students. That said, I also deeply despise Snape, because childhood bullying is no excuse to terrorize children (*cough* Baghra 2.0 *cough*).

Also, me being over thirty put some things into a perspective. Fighting the Dark Lord in teens, early twenties- why not, getting a job after school is no less terrifying-, but why the hell was everyone pregnant immediatelly?!

[welcometocaritas]

I’m going to need JK Rowling to explain to me how people who are so ill that they’re confined to their homes or their beds, in some cases dying slowly, are a threat to her existence

[noe-clara69]

I’m feeling inspired to take on an enormous project that I probably shouldn’t take on. So, to try and convince myself out of it, I’m asking if anyone would be interested in it:

A complete rewrite of Harry Potter.

Harry would still be in Gryffindor. I haven’t decided on the rest of the trio, but there are going to be some major character redesigns so hopefully they live up to their full potential, namely Neville and Draco. The fic will be drarry. Draco will be the bully in the first few years like canon, but I’m hoping to accomplish a Zuko level redemption arc with him starting fourth year.

The idea is still super duper vague, but it’s gonna be huge, and I likely won’t start posting stuff on ao3 until it’s finished.

The project will likely take a lot of planning and rereading do the og series (if this whole idea hasn’t said it, I hate JKR and the hp series had so much wasted potential UGH, anyways, I hope to fix that.

It’ll probably have a short bit of the trio in adulthood fighting to change the corrupt system. I’m planning on making Hermione a lawyer and either Harry or draco a politician (depends on how the story goes and how their characters develop) Y’all have any ideas on Ron?

Is anyone interested in this. I’m also SO interested in taking on people who will help me take on this project (through online communication)

Did I mention Dumbledore is gonna be a bad guy as well as voldy. I’m hoping for their to be no “good guy” and make dumbledore’s manipulation a bit more obvious.

[godofstory]

so you're telling me that JK Rowling is retweeting news about Iranian woman being killed by the police because of she didn't have 'proper hijab' and STILL NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT?

you people seriously don't care about middle easterns and women as long as you won't get labeled "islamophobic"

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

okay i know it's important to be thorough and I would much rather have the following person's views on this be stated outright then to just be taken as obvious but like. whenever I see those lists of authors that are pro-israel and they have jkr on there i'm like. wow. how shocking. in other news a piece of broccoli was found in the produce section of the fucking grocery store

[just-a-little-radish]

Wat

[dongiovannitriumphant]

can someone please make jk rowling shut up already im fucking done