#joey jokes

[cryptic-loser]

I'm so normal about these puppets

I'm gonna be posting about my AUs again,,, I promise 💔

[matchingbatbites]

@steddieas-shegoes asked and I have answered. Ngl I was also thinking about this lol.

Inspired by this post

i want a baby

The text comes in while Eddie's on his lunch break, and for a second he just blinks at the request from his boyfriend. It takes him by surprise because for one thing, Steve is supposed to be spending time with Robin right now, and for another thing, this is incredibly out of left field.

They've only been together four months, and while he knows that Steve wants to have kids - was told as much on their first date, that if Eddie doesn't then it's best to not even try for date number two - they haven't really talked about the details of it.

Plus, with Steve still in college and Eddie still living in a place with two other guys while he saves up, the logistics aren't really in place for them to even try for a baby right now.

He sends back a short No because he doesn't really have time to dig into this - his break is almost over and he's not done eating yet - but before he can even set his phone down he gets another message.

oh okay

Eddie goes still because he can hear this message, he knows the exact sound of that soft, reserved oh Steve gives when he's trying to pretend like he's not disappointed.

And suddenly Eddie is terrified.

This is the best relationship he's ever had; they're not even six months in but Eddie's pretty sure Steve is it for him. Would denying this be enough to make Steve leave him?

Fuck, what if he thinks Eddie lied and doesn't actually want kids? That he's just stringing Steve along to keep him around?

He scrambles to respond, his lunch forgotten in his haste to fix this.

Wait but dont ask another guy ill do it

There's a moment of silence where Eddie is actively dreading whatever Steve might say in response, though it's quelled when he gets three messages in quick succession.

im not gonna ask another guy for babies when i want yours

also it doesn't have to be now, we can wait

but I wouldn't mind practicing later 😘

Fuck, how is Eddie supposed to think about anything else for the rest of the day?

His alarm goes off, signalling the end of his break, and he sends off one more text before heading back out into the shop.

Your place or mine, baby?

[nerdyqueerr]

The Amazing Devil truly knocked it out of the park with Fair in terms of love songs i mean its got everything. Domesticity, deep adoration, confessions of love when youre sure no one else can hear, a that's what she said joke, yogurt, genuinely dont think there's a more romantic song on the face of the earth

[booigi-boi]

My body can be found on top of a large pile of fake brown shirts 🐐

[angelellipsis-devilofdots]

man joey batey and madeleine hyland are so cool i wish british people were real

[the-fire-within0]

I'm a Hermes devotee, of course I stutter and struggle to communicate my thoughts and feelings from time to time.

[yourlocalabomination]

I saw people talking about how Ted would own so many patterned button ups and had the AWFUL realisation me and this man would share a closet.

(Also long haired Ted propaganda be upon ye)

[cowardlykrow]

Nooooooo

[breadwithoutcheesefan1009]

That accent is something, huh 😭😭

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Cause the last time TCB wrote a show about a pair of ex-boyfriends it wasn’t emotionally devastating whatsoever…

[merriadoc-brandyfuck]

The Amazing Devil decided to create a song so heartbreakingly romantic, displaying a type relationship rarely portrayed and they decided to add a goddam “that’s what she said” joke

[matchingbatbites]

For @steveshairychest and based on their post here. I read it and just couldn't resist <3

The thing is, Eddie knows that Steve is straight. Honestly, that's the only reason Eddie is as bold as he is, why he starts flirting with him in the first place. He's got years of repressed feelings towards the younger boy, and now they're friends, good friends, and Eddie feels comfortable letting loose some of that pent up attraction, knowing that Steve won’t shun him for it.

He does start off small, just to be safe, with pet names and terms of endearment like handsome, honey, sweetheart. Just little things that make Steve's mouth quirk in a smile, nothing to make him feel uncomfortable. The longer Eddie goes, though, the bolder he gets.

The first pickup line is a joke. They’ve been talking about some new beach movie that's just been released onto video when Steve mentions his lifeguard certification, and before Eddie can stop himself he says “It's a good thing you're a lifeguard, because I'm drowning in your eyes.” 

Steve laughs at that, not mean, just surprised, and is still grinning as he gives a half-hearted “Shut up, Eds,” and turns back to what he was working on. 

And, oh, Steve has no idea what he's done, because Eddie is instantly obsessed with the need to make Steve laugh, to pull out that playful side of him that’s so rare to witness. So Eddie pulls out every dumb pickup line in the book, tries his best to make him laugh again.

“Hey, Stevie, your hand looks lonely. Can I hold it for you?”

“Did you just come out of an oven? Because you're too hot to handle.”

“Is your dad a boxer? Because baby, you're a knockout.”

Most of the time Steve just rolls his eyes and grins, but every so often he’ll make that surprised laugh, or god forbid, he’ll giggle, and Eddie mentally crows in victory every time it happens.

The kiss thing is spur of the moment one day, when Eddie has been hanging out just to be around Steve, and causing a little bit of a racket in the store. After a while, Steve playfully shoves at Eddie's shoulder and says "Get out of here before you get me in trouble, man," and Eddie just grins as he leans into Steve's space. 

"What? No goodbye kiss before you send me off into the world?" 

And oh god, Steve actually blushes this time, his cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink, and oh fuck, Eddie is such a goner. Steve shakes his head and tries his best to hide a smile as he says "In your dreams, Eddie." 

"In my dreams it’ll be, then, handsome," Eddie replies with a grin, giving a mock salute on his way out the door.

It becomes a usual thing, Eddie hanging out and flirting and asking Steve for a kiss before he leaves. Every time, Steve's response is the same, that delightful blush covers his cheeks as he grins and pushes Eddie away with a "Keep dreaming," or a "You wish,” or even a half-assed “Fuck off, Eds.”

It all comes back to bite him in the ass when, for once, Eddie arrives at the video store to pick up Robin, instead of just doing his usual lazing about and bothering Steve.

Walking in, he doesn't see Buckley immediately, but he does spot his favorite person behind the counter and he beelines to Steve. He leans on the counter, elbows on the clean surface and chin in his hands as he bats his eyelashes at Steve.

"Hi Stevie! How's the prettiest boy in Hawkins today?" 

Steve looks over at him and Eddie feels like a deer in headlights when the man gives him a sly grin. He leans on the counter, arms crossed as he presses into Eddie’s space.

"I dunno, gorgeous, how are you doing?" 

All of Eddie's higher brain function just stops as Steve speaks. It’s such a stupid response, something that anyone else might have said if asked the same question, but for some reason it makes Eddie go dumb, cheeks flooding with color and mouth dropping in shock.

Steve’s grin widens and he tips his head to the side, looking like the cat who got the fucking canary. He reaches up and grabs a curl that had fallen from the messy bun Eddie had thrown his hair into, and twists the lock around his finger as he leans even closer.

"You look so fucking good today. Drives me crazy when you wear your hair up like this, sweetheart. Puts your whole neck on display, all that pretty skin just begging to be bitten and marked up."

And yeah, Eddie's brain must be leaking out of his ears, because it’s him, it’s Eddie, the master wordsmith who always has something to say, and all he can manage to get out in response is a single, stupid sounding "Uh.”

Steve's expression shifts to something more condescending and god, Eddie is so into it when he tugs on the curl again and coos "Aw, got nothin’ to say, baby doll? Can't take what you dish out?" 

An embarrassing whine finds its way into the air between them and fuck, Eddie has to go. He needs to leave before he makes an even bigger fool of himself than he already has, because Steve is looking at Eddie like he wants to eat him and his knees feel like jello and where the fuck is Robin??

As though summoned by just a thought, Robin breezes through the shop and throws out a casual “Steve, can you stop? I need him to drive me home and he can’t do that if his brain is mush.”

Eddie glances over as she walks past them, thinks Traitor! as she leaves him at Steve’s mercy and heads outside to his van. He looks back to Steve, at those hazel eyes alight with amusement and tries to get his brain to work.

“I need- uh- Robin-” he stammers, unable to even complete a thought as Steve smirks and leans in even closer, his nose almost brushing against Eddie's when he asks, "Can I get a goodbye kiss?" 

And Eddie could never say no to Steve, especially when the other is looking at him like that. He nods dumbly, hoping he doesn't look as desperate as he feels, and there's another tug on that curl.

"I need you to use your big boy words, sweetheart," Steve says, still tinged with condescension, and Jesus fucking Christ, this whole dynamic is really doing it for Eddie, more so than he ever thought it would.

"Yes, Steve- Please-" he says, fully prepared to start begging if he has to, if he can find the words to, but he's given a bit of mercy when Steve closes the gap between them.

It feels like he’s being electrocuted, and that's all he needs for his brain to get with the program, for his hands to finally respond as they fly up and tangle in honey locks as he kisses back.

Steve groans and presses closer, his tongue bullying its way into Eddie's mouth and Eddie can feel his limbs turning into goo as Steve kisses him thoroughly, those old King skills being put to good use as he wrecks Eddie with just this.

A car horn sounds from outside the shop and Steve pulls away, smirking again at Eddie's soft whine of protest. “You better go before Robin pitches a fit.” 

Eddie nods, still dumbstruck from the last few minutes and says "I- Yeah, okay. Uh, call me? Tonight?"

Steve hums and stands up straight, and Eddie can feel his brain power returning with the little bit of distance now between them. 

“Why don’t you come over after my shift? Say, 9?” Steve asks, giving Eddie that hungry look once again, and Eddie’s breath hitches.

“Yep, yes, I can- I’ll definitely do that,” he answers, taking a few steps back and trying his best not to stumble. “I’ll, uh, see you then, Stevie.”

Steve calls out “See you later, baby doll!” as Eddie scrambles for the door, and oh god, Eddie is fucked.

[cant-get-enough-btr-forever]

Both bands are awesome, this meme is cliché, but since I can't resist...

Now that I got that out of the way, I have to ask: Who's the Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan in *NSYNC (and vice versa)?

[pinazee]

I finally got to Hey, Melissa! And Im going to have to insist the lang brothers give paul just one goddamn happy ending at some point (preferably soon) Cause um… jesus fucking christ.

Don’t get me wrong, it was a good story and i see what they were doing (p.s i stan a serial killing team of ladies. Im a feminist), but uh, this was a level of torture and humiliation i was unprepared for. And paul was just trying to help- to the point that he didn’t answer emmas call just so he could be there for melissa. Paul comes across as a very neutral guy but he’s actually a full blown hero.

And fucking Ted! Like he didn’t deserve it either but at the same time…fuck you ted.

[inkynightmaresau]

its pride month, joey. you know what that means

//this is not a canon interaction VDHEVD i just. i dont have the next comic installation ready yet </3 //

[renfriscreyden]

My witcher season 3 review