#jon was gonna record but was stopped by the little one

[hekoooma]

"Oh! Hello, The admiral!"

"Meow!"

[its-your-mind]

“oh clearly jon feels no emotions and is in complete control of himself at all times. this man is a logic machine.”

did we??? listen to the same podcast?????? this man feels first, thinks later. there is a strong emotion? get ready for jonathan jarchivist sims to act on it with little-to-no second thoughts. rational thinking who. we throw ourselves full force at the first thought that comes into our head. like, we are talking about the man who:

busted into the office of a guy he hadn’t talked to more than twice since he woke up from a six month coma, sincerely offering to gouge out his eyes and run away with him, and was Absolutely Gobsmacked when he was refused

was prefectly ready to let a face-stealing monster live… right up until it reminded him that it had killed his friend without him realizing (that “…what did you say” is one of the lines that gives me GOOSEBUMPS every time)

dove headfirst into a pile of evil sentient worms to grab a tape recorder bc he was so determined to not die as aNOTHER GODDAMN MYSTERY

let his survivor’s guilt from when he was eight drive the major decisions he made for the rest of his life

threw himself into a fear dimension of evil loneliness to save the man he loved (who had refused to speak to him for months) at the probable expense of himself who knows

had so much MALICE in his voice when he killed peter lukas like damn girl you do not get that emotional when you’re just killing someone bc they’re evil or whatever. there was Hatred there. go off queen.

literally was willing to sacrifice an entire WORLD so that no one would ever f e e l what he had to feel when jonah voicesnatched him

LITERALLY speedran a love story in like six weeks in scotland. this man was SO READY to be in love it’s ridiculous. so was martin. I love them sm

heard his predecessor was dead

came to the conclusion that he was next

what should we do with this?

oh I know

stalk every one of my coworkers bc clearly one of them is out to get me

committed himself to living in the archives forever bc he didn’t want to put georgie or “god forbid the admiral” in danger (has his priorities STRAIGHT he does)

oh annabelle caine has martin? and an artifact that completely knocks me on my ass and takes away all my powers? off to hilltop road we go come on basira we have spider ass to kick

threw himself into a coffin to save a woman who LITERALLY was ABOUT TO KILL HIM bc he just wanted to HELP and everyone around him was HURTING SO MUCH

was insulted when a statement giver called the institute stupid and immediately discarded all professionalism and clapped back by calling her wildly successful youtube series dumb

also immediately discarded all professionalism when disgusted by a teeth apple “we do NOT want it.” like damn bro this traumatized doctor brought this bone apple teeth proof in for you and you are too grossed out to grin and bear it

was slightly annoyed by the fact that martin was not the Ideal Assistant. Offhandedly mentioned on an official recording that he wanted an evil flesh witch to slowly kill his literal employee by a series of freak accidents that resulted in the loss of one body part at a time. this man has no chill whatsoever.

took so much satisfaction in killing jonah magnus. like jonah told him not to be dramatic and jon PROMPTLY started monologuing while stabbing douchard directly in the chest.

“I don’t want to die”

“Neither did they.” FUCK YES QUEEN GO OFF GET HIS SMARMY VICTORIAN ASS

sounded so SMUG when he told the eye he was gonna go apologize to his boyfriend. like yeah stupid all-powerful fear god I have a BOYfriend and I LOVE him suck on THAT

remember when he decided to doom his whole world bc he wanted to stop anyone else from feeling like he did? yeah that plan went out the window fuckin imMEDIATely as soon as his beloved martin walked into the room. oh, he’s in the world I’m going to be dooming? well fuck didn’t consider that part. welp guess he’s just gonna have to stab me. and then we will hold each other and declare our love and kiss and hope to still be alive and together somehow as the world collapses around us. our love didn’t save us but it was here and that mattered. okay list cancelled I’m gonna go curl up in a ball for a little bit. ty for your time.

[sewerratzz]

Gonna talk about a part of The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals that i really love

[this was brought on by me getting ready to shower and then being distracted because i put on Let It Out and Thoughts happened]

SO after the meteor hits and people are singing and dancing, Paul goes to work and asks about it. Charlotte says that her husband Sam isn’t a bad singer, but he’s always been a little flat. But this morning, he was singing in the shower and he sounded like an angel and it frightened her

So we’re told that becoming infected changes your voice. You know, you become part of the hivemind and basically an instrument for pokey’s orchestra, sounding as good as he needs you to sound. But we get no example of this.

We don’t hear any characters sing when they’re not infected (ignoring Emma in RCOC and the professor in Show Stopping Number), we have no frame of reference for voices really changing after infection.

Until Let It Out. We get the “Jekyll and Hyde” type scene from Paul.

[gonna take a long minute here to really show some appreciation for Jon’s physical and vocal acting, that man is wonderful]

Of course, we can see the difference between the paul we know, and the paul he is becoming because of infection in his body language. The dancing. Human Paul will not dance, is actively fighting against the puppet strings attached to his limbs that are getting stronger by the second, and infected!Paul is dancing happily, in a way that almost doesn’t completely fit the tone of this song.

Human Paul is terrified by what’s happening to him, his confusion and fear written on his face every time he loses control of his body and voice. Infected!Paul is revelling in human!Paul losing control, a wide smile on his face as he dances and sings.

But the vocal acting is my favourite part of Jon’s performance in this number. You can hear the difference between human and infected (and if you can’t hear it in the show, it’s much more obvious in the cast recording). Human Paul’s voice is lower, shakier, clearly showing that Paul is scared and not wanting to sing. Infected!Paul’s voice is higher, louder, more full, because he wants to sing. He’s a part of Pokey’s orchestra and it’s finally his time for a solo. Infected!Paul even takes his moments in control to say how much happier he is and how he was crazy to resist this, while human! Paul is battling for his life and saying he’d be crazy now to give in, and his final words are “I don’t like musicals!”

Jon does perfectly acting as Paul fighting against two different versions of himself and i love him. Big round of applause for Jon Matteson👏👏👏

And then of course in inevitable, any trace of human Paul is gone from his voice. He is completely, 100% infected now. Part of the hivemind. Not coming back. The happiness with which he sings and dances, all the while at some moments being hostile towards Emma as she tries to get away and he tries to infect her too. It’s finally his time to shine, he doesn’t get to sing or dance in almost the whole show, he gets one full song to show his prowess and by Pokotho, he is gonna show it !!

i love these numbers sm, there’s a reason they’re two of my favourites in the show

[vaporwavebeach-writes]

Punishments

BTAA Scarecrow x gn! Reader (NSFW)

(1,567 words)

Summary: You are punished by the Scarecrow and he’s a complete menace about it.

Warnings/Tags: 18+, vibrator, handcuffs, dom/sub dynamics, punishments (duh), fear play, light nipple play, blood, penetration, rough sex, teasing/orgasm denial, crane being a sadistic asshole (but in a hot way)

Notes: I think I went a little crazy with this one, but I’m happy with it. also threw in some more reader-having-a-spine rep bc it’s fun to write and we all deserve it. enjoy the fic

-

“You asshole,” you moaned exhaustedly.

“That may be true,” he crooned, “but I’m not the one who decided to start the marathon early.”

Hearing the soft hum of the vibrator power back on, you braced yourself once again for the incoming onslaught of delicious agony.

How did we get here?

More importantly, how did you get here?

-

With a click, the cuffs that held your hands over your head against the headboard, were fastened.

You could only imagine how vulnerable you looked right now. In addition to the restraint of your hands, you were in nothing but your underwear and an old t-shirt. Behind you was a pillow, which kept you sitting upright to the bed. You kept your legs shut to maintain some level modesty, but with a partner like Jonathan Crane, your modesty was the last thing you needed to worry about.

Feeling his fingers tilt your head up, your eyes met his. A mischievous grin spreads across his face.

“I’m sorry it had to come to this, but you left me no choice,” Jonathan sighs with false disappointment.

“Jon, you were gone for like, 3 hours,” you retort. “The Midnight Movie Matinee was already starting, what was I gonna do? Not watch it? It’s a live recording.”

“Fair point, but you know I’ve been looking forward to this one all week.” You feel his cold and calloused hand trail up your leg, stopping dangerously close to your inner thigh, making you shiver. “…And also, I just needed to find an excuse to punish you, it’s been far too long.”

“But I was planning on filling you in anyway,” you shoot back.

“Aw,” he chuckles dryly, “that is such a sweet sentiment, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind the further we get along.”

“The further we get along?” You raise an eyebrow.

Crane says nothing as he rummages around through the drawers. Your brain runs wild with the endless possibilities of whatever it is he���ll use to torment you tonight. With a wolfish grin, he turns around. You quickly spot the small vibrator he was now equipped with.

“What the hell is that?” You ask tensely.

You know full well what it is; you’re not stupid. The question more so implied the notion of what exactly it was he would be doing with it.

“Oh don’t look so nervous, it’s just a bullet vibe.” He says matter-of-factly. “I figured to let the punishment fit the crime, you were, what? 3 hours in? That should be sufficient.”

Your eyes widen to the size of dinner plates followed by a nervous chuckle. “3 hours? Did I say that?” You begin frantically. “I mean, if you really wanna get specific, it was um, really more like, uh, 2 hours and 26 minutes?” You plead, attempting to realistically shorten the time of your impending torture and hoping to God that he wouldn’t detect the uncertainty laced in your voice.

With a sadistic snicker, he gently coaxes your legs open. “You’re cute, begging like anything could get you out of this.” He grins maliciously, softly tracing over your clothed sex.

Trying your best not to move, your breath hitches in your throat. By giving him a reaction- any reaction at all, you would only be making it worse for yourself by giving him what he wants. As turned on as you were getting, you weren’t one to submit so willingly.

“I don’t beg,” you sigh, “I negotiate.”

Jonathan lets out an amused hum while getting onto the bed. His eyes remain dark with lust as he leans forward to take in your scent, his mouth beginning to pepper your neck with hungry kisses. When he moves forward, you feel his knee dig into your arousal, where a quiet moan exits your lips. Quickly snapping your mouth shut, Crane looks disgustingly satisfied when he pulls away.

“Oh really?” he drawls, “because from where I’m sitting, you are in absolutely no position to even try to negotiate.” His irritatingly smug voice rings through your ears.

Dammit. He’s fucking right, but you don’t cave.

“2 hours and 26 minutes, doctor.” Your gaze locks with his. “I’ll admit, I was very bad for starting without you,” you allow your voice to drop an octave, continuing to maintain eye contact with the increasingly aroused Jonathan Crane sitting before you. “… But, I will not let myself be punished for a second longer than I need to be.”

Crane stares at you with an expression mixed with curiosity and respect. There’s a brief silence in the room, save for the shuffling of the sheets as he shifts his position. He towers over you, but you are not intimidated.

“Fine,” he grins. He lays a quick kiss on your cheek and begins to slowly make his way down to your neck. The pseudo-tenderness of him kissing into you is sharply contrasted by the venom in his voice when he leans back up to whisper in your ear. “But I won’t make this easy for you,” his hand reaches down, rubbing you through your underwear. “…And if I find out you’ve been lying to me, you are going to catch so much hell and it’s going to be fucking beautiful,” he all but moans the last word when he finally reaches the spot that makes you jolt.

You shudder at his threats; the fear and arousal rip through you like tidal waves. After several minutes, his movements become jerky, lightening up the friction on your sex, causing you to buck into his hand. Letting out a chuckle at your desperation, Crane powers on the vibrator and you can only shift in terrified excitement.

“Nervous?” He asks, pushing your leg to the side, “you should be.” You brace yourself for nothing as Jonathan unexpectedly runs the vibe along your inner thighs. Apprehension spikes within your chest the closer and closer he moves to your core, only for him to snap it away.

Fucking tease.

You begin to squirm as he traces up to your sternum, making his way across your chest. You let out a restrained mewl, arching your back when the toy reaches your nipples through your shirt.

“Don’t quiet yourself,” he growls, “I want to hear every single sound that leaves your impatient mouth.” He continues ghosting over your sensitive buds. You writhe in delectable anguish, remaining defiant as you attempt to stifle any moan he tries to force out of you.

Growing frustrated, Jonathan finally drives the vibrator down to your aching sex, causing a loud and pornographic moan to erupt from your throat. Your face burns with shame.

“See?” He smiles wickedly. Crane slips the vibrator past your underwear, and presses it off, much to your chagrin. He coats the toy in your fluids; your cheeks flush at how embarrassingly turned on you are. “Not feeling so brave now, are we?”

“Go to hell,” you chuckle hoarsely.

“Oh wow,” Crane laughs. “You really don’t know when to quit do you?”

“I figure if you’re going to punish me anyway, I might as well get my digs in too.”

Jonathan’s gaze pierces into you hungrily. He’s quiet for a moment, huffing out a laugh until he meets your eyes once again. “…Fascinating,” is all that he utters.

Giving you no time to process, you see the vibrator swiftly set to the side. Jonathan grabs your face as he slams his mouth into yours. The kiss is sloppy; the sounds you two make are filthy as they echo across the walls. Your tongues messily bump into each other’s. Nipping at one another’s lips, you begin to taste the flavor of metal in your mouth, not giving a shit if the blood you were tasting was his or yours.

You catch your breath heavily as the air around you grows thick with arousal. Frantic sounds of a belt buckle unfastening, pants dropping to the floor, and the tearing of a condom wrapper invigorate your senses. The newfound urgency for lust seems to have infected Jonathan as well, as he all but crumples your underwear off your legs, leaving you exposed.

His mouth continues to ravage yours when he finally enters you. Your lower half aches deliciously, feeling yourself be spread apart by Crane’s cock. He pounds into you ferociously, eliciting moans you never thought you were capable of making begin to tumble their way out of your throat. His pace is violent, yet his hands find their way to yours, which are still firmly locked above your head. His fingers interlace with yours for a surprisingly intimate moment in the midst of one another’s chaotic passion.

You feel yourself begin to unravel. As you wail pathetic obscenities into his mouth, Jonathan begins to slow down significantly. You whine when he stops completely, desperately longing for his touch.

“Oh come on now, did you really think I’d let you finish that easily?” Letting out another one of his signature sadistic chuckles, Crane pushes your retrained hands further into the headboard for emphasis.

As if you weren’t already sweating enough, you can certainly feel the perspiration forming at your temples. Feeling exhaustedly fucked out, but unsatisfied, you glare at Crane.

“Don’t give me that look,” he laughs huskily, “You’re being punished, we still have 2 hours to go, remember?”

“You asshole.”

“That may be true, but I’m not the one who decided to start the marathon early.”

[puppiesandnightlock]

LINK: If the world was perfect(you would have never invaded my space)

summary: Damian is absolutely done with Jon's shit. Jon...didn't get the memo.

But hey, what says friendship and love more than a punch in the face?

Damian didn’t ask for this, and was currently unsure of why he’d gotten such a punishment. Did he anger some deity? It definitely wasn’t karma, surely he would have remembered doing something so horrible that would warrant being in the attention of Jon Kent.

He was everywhere . And intent on bothering him. 

Damian prided himself on his clean record, the A’s that were always neatly lined up in his transcripts, nothing out of the ordinary. He hadn’t had a major offense…well, not anything that he hadn’t slipped his way out of. 

That might change soon, however, because it seemed Jon Kent was just itching to get a punch in the face, and Damian would be sure he was the one who delivered it.

Two weeks into tutoring the bane of existence and being constantly probed for his attention was becoming tiresome. Jon demanded his attention and it was exhausting to outsmart this dimwitted oaf on top of his studies on the daily.

Going into the lunchroom, his friends were subjected to yet another lengthy rant about how the teen, this one including some rather colorful insults in Arabic. They took their food out to the courtyard, Damian not stopping once for a breath. 

A shadow loomed over the three of them, Maya poking Damian in the shoulder to shut him up, and Colin standing slowly from his spot next to him. 

“Wayne.” 

Damian squeezed his eyes shut, cursing everything he could possibly think of, before opening them and looking up from where he was sitting.

“Kent.” He gritted out.

“You sound so happy to see me, Angel.” Jon cooed.

“Is there any distinct reason you’ve come to disrupt our lunch, or was it simply to make my day as horrid as you possibly can?”

“Sorry, Teach, just thought you would have wanted a hello from your favorite student.”

Damian could feel his eye twitching and his friends moving away from the scene. Maya nudged Colin to go find a referee for whatever was about to go down and stood, pulling up Damian with her.

“Kent, do you not have anything better to do with your life? Your studies, perhaps? Other idiots, such as yourself?” The shorter boy huffed, crossing his arms and glaring up at Jon.

Said boy was bent slightly at the waist, hands on his hips so he could be level with the angry green eyes. 

“They’re not as nearly as fun to play with then you are, Wayne.”

His face flushed in red-hot anger, teeth gritting in obvious frustration. “You have no shame , do you? I don’t pretend to understand what about this is appealing to you, but mark my words, there’s going to be a time where that smartass mouth is going to say something to the wrong person at the worst time and make you regret it.”

A dangerous smirk appeared on Jon’s lips, a tell tale sign of something that would provoke the shorter boy to all hell. Before he could say anything, Damian chuckled lowly, leaning forward till their noses were nearly touching.

 “I hope that person is me and that day is soon.“

Jon scoffed. “What’re you gonna do about it, pretty boy? Hit me?”

The resounding sound of a punch to his face echoed in the courtyard, Maya rushing to hold Damian back as Jon held his nose, cursing up a storm.

Damian grinned at him, sticking out a leg from where he was scrabbling in Maya’s hold and sweeping him off his feet.

“Damian!” Maya scolded, as if she were chastening her little brother instead of a friend who’d just punched the school delinquent.

Colin came running, Skylar, another friend, behind him. A teacher was eyeing the scene now, unmoving. The red haired boy snorted at the scene, clapping Damian on the shoulder.

They all tensed as Jon stood, lunging for Damian again, who wrenched out of Maya’s grasp and sent another hit to his face. The whistle from the teacher who was watching them sounded out, not stopping the now brawling boys, other kids during lunch circling around them.

“Break it up!” the teacher hollered, muscling their way through the crowd. Skylar and Maya yanked Damian off Jon, Colin making a path for them. 

“Wayne, Kent, the office, now .” Jon wobbled, bruised and bloody, with not even his pride left standing. 

The other boy, however, had a grim but smug look to his face, a few scratches, and bleeding cuts along his knuckles. He could hear Damian’s friends clambering over him, and what they said intrigued him.

”Dames, dude, that was badass!” the boy cheered.

”Thank you, Wikes.” Damian sounded pleased, but was quickly smacked on the back of the head by the girl with an iron grip around his arm.

”Colin, don’t encourage him. Damian, you’re a fucking dumbass, what the hell were you thinking?”  

”You promised you were done with fights, you’ll be in so much trouble!” Another girl with short mousy hair and a braid through her hair followed behind the boy, Colin apperantly. ”I can’t hold up student council or Art Club by myself if you get grounded!” 

”I’ll be fine. I’m not stupid, mind you, I did think about this beforehand.”  

”For like five seconds, maybe.” the girl holding onto him muttered, stopping as they were at the office's door. Jon lingered behind, pretending to at least look like he wasn’t eavesdropping.

 The girl with the braid patted Damian’s shoulder and whispered, ”Good luck!” , following after as Colin and the other girl pushed past the taller boy, giving him dirty looks on their way. Jon shot similar looks back, rolling his eyes and going through the office door.

Kon was waiting with an annoyed look that quickly turned concerned and mildly amused. There was another man there, somehow familiar in a way Jon knew he should have remembered. He had black hair and blue eyes, and a disappointed face that nearly made him feel bad for Damian.

The principal was there, sitting at his desk with a tired expression on his face. He saw both boys and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Mr. Grayson-Wayne, Mr. Kent, thank you for coming in your parents absence. Jonathan, Damian, sit.” 

They did so, Damian being prodded by who Jon assumed was his older brother. The smaller boy scowled and swatted back, sitting.

“Now, I've had various witness recounts. The teacher who saw it says that Jonathan  lunged first, but was already injured. Now, the second time could have just been self defense, and was provoked, clearly. This is a first for you, Damian, and I would have expected this from Jonathan, not from you.” 

“With all due respect sir,” he said suddenly. “I was provoked, and I am not kidding when I say that Ke- Jonathan asked for it.”

“How so?”

“I’ve been bothered by him for weeks now, and when I offered some very wise life advice and asked him to please let my friends and I eat in peace, he asked me, and I quote, ‘What are you going to do about it? Hit me?’ So I did.”

Kon snorted, Jon turning to give his brother a very dirty look. He covered his mouth, trying to muffle the noise and failing miserably.

The principal looked fairly amused himself, Damian’s smug look going from grim to mildly pleased. 

His brother slapped him upside the head lightly, and Jon quietly applauded him for knocking the look off the shorter boy.

“Well, this is your first offense, and since Jonathan seems to have suffered the brunt of it, I suspect that a dire punishment is mostly unneeded. Two weeks of weekend detention, and your study sessions are to be upheld. Your brothers are to take the both of you home.”

The principal sighed as they left, muttering under his breath. ”Waynes and Kents, Wayne and West, Wayne and Harper. Why do they all insist on coming to my school?” 

“So, a Wayne kicked your ass.” Kon grinned at him. “How’d that feel?”

It was kind of hot . Jon choked on his spit as the thought barreled forcefully into the front of his head. “What the fuck ?” 

“Knew it.” Kon snickered, dodging the hit sent his way. 

“I would have thought you’d had enough punches today.” Damian called out as they went past, ducking away from his older brother’s hand. 

“Damian!” He scolded, sounding like Maya had a few hours ago. “Apologize.”

The boy scowled and crossed his arms, spitting out an “I apologize” as if it cost him physical pain.

“Sorry, Kon.” the older man holding onto Damian sighed. “I should have known it would have come to something like this.”

“The little shit asked for it.” Jon’s brother ruffled his hair, much to his annoyance. “I’ll see you this weekend, I think? Tell Wally I say hello.”

“Will do! See you, Kon.” Both men dragged their little brothers out of the office, going separate ways.

Damian avoided his brother’s gaze in the mirror, choosing to hide in the back and look out the window.

“I really thought we’d gotten over this, sweetheart.”

He hated that voice. It was a disappointed dad voice perfected over the years of rowdy siblings, leaving him as the youngest with the flawless model. It made him feel like he’d gone out to kick puppies for fun. And what was worse, was how soft and sad it sounded, like he was comforting him but wrecked at the same time.

“I know,” he whispered. 

The drive home was silent, and with his siblings at work or in class, so was their large house. It wasn’t quite a mansion yet, but with their ever-growing family and account balance, it would be soon. 

He trudged after his brother as he was led to the restroom, wincing as antiseptic was dabbed on the cuts.

“You promised all of us. You promised me that it was going to be the last time. What really happened, baby bat?” 

Damian shielded his eyes from the look on his face, knowing that if he saw it he would cave.

“He was just annoying. There’s something about him, it’s aggravating. He deserved the punch in the face.”

Dick sighed, wrapping the bandages around his hand. “You’re not going back to this are you? You can’t afford this, Damian, you know that this is your last chance. I don’t think this will go on your record, and you got damn lucky for that.”

The younger swallowed the lump in his throat. This was not a crying matter, but the immense shame and worry with all the bubbling emotions caused his throat to close up. He rarely cried, most of the times he had were as a child. The last time he’d cried was the last time he was in a fight, the life he’d left behind.

He had worked too hard to be where he was now, and that was something he wouldn’t waste. 

As loath as he was to admit it, he needed to start getting along with Jonathan Kent, and what was a better place to start then detention?

[cult-of-the-eye]

Feeling shitty so I'm gonna treat myself to MAG 84

MARTIN K BLACKWOOD MY BELOVED

oh my god he's so plainly nervous omg this is such a difference to jon

the way jon does his whole pompous ass speech listing way too much information to look like he knows what he's doing but martin is way more pragmatic the way he just gives the necessary information

its so funny that the apparent least skilful of the archive crew is taking up the statements and doing it better than jon

he's really getting into it, he's doing the voices and everything

at first i couldn't get over how Martin he was but it sort of fades as he gets into it

is margaret carnegie someone i'm supposed to keep track of?

hoarding, dirt, the dump

corruption vibes

rat butler that's so fucking funny kids are so creative with their insults

loved the scary stories? i guess that part wasn't what scared him but i think it does raise an interesting point about what avatars do with people who get joy from a fear - do they hate those people? see them as challenges to make the joy turn sour?

what the fuck is she doing with gordon??

the way he said rot oh my god

baked beans????? lol

ew

EW

EW WHAT THE FUCK

FUCK THE FUCK OFF MAGGIE

GORDON WAS FINE????????

GORDIE'S DUMP.

oh my god that means someone did that to maggie before her, how long had this cycle been going??? who was the original?? was she priming him to become her all this time??? why him?? and who will be gordie's next victim?? wow i wonder what happened to the statement giver, it would've been interesting to see what he did next

oh god poor martin

his whole brush with jane prentiss and the worms and the corruption and the next time he's doing a statement its another one about fucking worms

that's so creepy horror institute of them i bet elias somehow made this happen

he's doing better than i thought he would be tbh

the biggest thing he's worried about is if it was a good job or not

i guess he still wants jon to come back and scold him about some mistake he made in the recording

HE STILL CALLS HIM THE HEAD ARCHIVIST. HE IS REFUSING TO ACCEPT ANYTHING ELSE. HE BELIEVES IN JON MORE THAN JON BELIEVES IN JON REALLY.

ABSENT. fuck. hd

tim if he feels like it - HA that's so tim and also literally me

i actually once had a similar experience to that

hmm yet another thing i have similar to Tim

he doesn't have jon's emphasis on rigorousness cause he doesn't feel the need to prove himself, he thins all he can do is get it done so that's what he's doing

what's this little slip up with i vs we? did he drag tim with him? was tim so unhelpful that martin did it himself so he was gonna be like yeah fuck this i did it myself but then he stopped himself and was like no we did it together?

classic inside bitch outside nice person martin

pneumonia - newspaper pulp?????? cancerous growths???? insect legs???? fuck off oh god SOMEHOW STILL MOVING ew ew ew

IT WENT MISSING

GORDON TOOK HER????

i think it's interesting how martin doesn't have the same scepticism as jon, which seems obvious cause he's had multiple run ins with the paranormal, he'd have no reason to disbelieve that it could happen but what's interesting is that he believes it happened to him. yeah i think the fact that he's dealt with worms before and the anxiety of not being believed probably makes him inclined to believe him or even he's just got way too much to worry about rather than whether or not someone's statement is fake

i wonder if anyone's got any good archivist!martin headcanons i feel like that would be so cool

melanie king!!!!!! why is she looking for him???

SHE GOT SHOT IN INDIA????? HER WAR GHOSTS???

it's so cool that throughout all of that, she's come to jon to talk about it cause he's the only one who understands

i guess he has that sort of charm about him

the statement is so disoriented its clear she was looking for jon and jon only but still martin offers to take her statement

he's trying to be as helpful as possible despite everything

jon's missing, they think he killed someone - i love his non-accusatory language

ha accidentally bore them to death - I LOVE YOU MELANIE

HE DIDN'T ha he's so indignant

i'm so happy that jurgen leitner's legacy has become "old man who got pipe murdered"

YEAH if jon were to ever murder someone, he'd do it in the most convoluted, worst way possible, like try to poison someone and end up accidentally counter acting it in some way or some shit like that

oh god they don't know about the not them and sasha oh no that's gonna be devastating when they do find out

god the institute really is where you come when you're desperate and out of options

he listens - i think that's the first good thing i've heard someone say about jon in the entire podcast oh my god

martin trying to be helpful again

ELIAS FUCK YOU FUCK OFF

martin's so nervous around him!!! i guess he's still the big boss and he's lied on his CV

HE KNOWS GHOST HUNT OF COURSE HE FUCKING DOES THIS CARTOON VILLAIN OF A MAN HONESTLY I BET HE WATCHES ALL THE PARANORMAL STUFF EVEN THE SHITTY ONES LIKE GIGGLING AND KICKING HIS FEET JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT

he even kept up with the fact that ghost hunt ended as well the bastard

"showed surprising promise" even his compliments suck

oh my god all of this is just a wink wink to jon. she doesn't know how much promise she actually had, she doesn't know how deep the paranormal stuff goes

martin's trying to get her to leave YES YES he's smarter than people give him credit for

he's such a snickering evil bastard oh my god he knows jon will come back or daisy will kill him so he doesn't need to worry about filling vacancies until daisy tells him otherwise

FORMAL QUALIFICATIONS AREN'T EVERYTHING, MARTIN

HE KNOWS. OF COURSE HE KNOWS. OH HE'S SUCH A DICKHEAD.

god he's desperate like what do you think you're gonna say to try and stop someone from taking a cursed job in front of said boss of cursed job while you are in the same cursed job

THE STATIC INCREASES

problem, martin?? FUCK EIHBCBIKLBRWILNW

MARTIN TRIED TO STOP HER. THE ANGER. ANGRY MARTIN SUPREMACY. HE WAITS UNTIL HE'S ALONE TO BE MAD. EVEN HIS ANGER IS TO SERVE OTHER PEOPLE. WOW.

Amazing episode. I hate elias. I may hate insects more. Ew.

[s10127470]

The Best Thing About The Garfield Movie

So yeah, i just watched The Garfield Movie this past Friday night.

And all in honesty (and you're all probably gonna hate me for this).....I actually really like this film.

The story is solid (but I'll touch on that a little more when I get there).

The animation is really great. I'm always down for CGI animation actually being allowed to feel animated and this is the best the Garfield characters have looked in 3D.

It's basically night and day when you compare it to The Garfield Show and that CGI trilogy from the late 2000s.

Most of the characters are pretty solid and likeable.

My favorites were definitely Odie and Otto.

And the voice acting was actually really good all around.

Yes....even Chris Pratt as Garfield himself.

The movie's not perfect though.

A little bit of the humor can fall flat at times.

The villain is kind of weak despite being a classic, over-the-top villain.

Which is weird given the director's track record when it comes to villains.

And while Jon was fun to watch, he sadly wasn't around for much of the movie.

But all-in-all, I think this movie is a really good time and I would definitely recommend it for anyone who's a fan of Garfield.

However, if you've seen any of the reception towards the movie (largely from the critics), it hasn't been talked about in a very positive light.

With the biggest criticism being that the movie doesn't feel like Garfield.

Which to that I have to say....

BALDERDASH!

And I feel like the critics saying this are only familiar with the comics strips and not really anything else with the orange cat.

While yes, the movie doesn't quite feel like the comic strips, it does harken more to the adaptations, specifically the ones from his golden age during the 1980s.

The major criticism towards this movie is that it doesn't feel like Garfield, especially with the whole heist plot.

And while that may be the case when using the comics as a basis, but when looking at the adaptations, this actually isn't all that far off from what Garfield usually gets up to.

He's hanged with a tribe of tropical island natives inspired by 50s American culture while having to stop an erupting volcano.

He's had to escape a crew of ghostly pirates on Halloween night.

He's gone to Hollywood.

Yeah, Garfield has been going on exciting and wild adventures for a LONG time.

Hell, look at The Garfield Show.

The fourth season had several story arcs!

These included the likes of Garfield going to a school for witches, having to stop an army of alien robots from invading Earth, and going on an African safari and trying to save a pair of rare white lions from scheming poachers.

Also, that last arc I just mentioned was responsible for introducing us to the man....the myth....the legend himself....

This criticism has also been leveled towards the character of Garfield himself.

And I honestly feel like a lot of critics don't quite get the character of Garfield.

While yes, he's lazy, cynical, sarcastic, gluttonous and mocks just about everyone around him.

But that's not all his character is.

I can't believe I'm actually using him, but The Nostalgia Critic during his review of Garfield & Friends gave what honestly may be the best description of Garfield as a character.

That being while Garfield may enjoy being a lazy pessimistic, that's not what he's really like.

Although he's described as being lazy, Garfield is shown to be surprisingly more playful and energetic than you would think.

And on top of that, he'll usually go out of way to do stuff like creating huge ass sandwiches to eat for himself or think of unique and creative ways to mess with Odie, Jon and Nermal.

And despite the fact that he mocks damn near everyone around him (especially those close to him), he'll actually go out of his way to save them if they're in danger.

Basically, the best way to describe Garfield is that he's a character who ironically works hard to be lazy.

He won't exercise, but he'll dance and play.

He may be lazy, but he'll actually go the extra mile for something he wants.

He mocks people, but knows if they weren't there, life would be pretty boring for him.

And this part allows me to segway into what I think is the best part of The Garfield Movie: it's heart.

Yeah, The Garfield Movie has legitimately heartfelt moments where the characters get to reflect on their emotions towards those close to them.

Like Otto and his unwavering love for his Ethel and more specifically, Garfield and his estranged relationship with his father Vic.

Yes, I am a sucker for stuff like these.

Probably because I just appreciate just how sincere they come off as, and I appreciate them more because they're usually not ruined for a sake of mediocre joke.

But anyway, these moments really do favors the characters, especially Garfield himself.

One thing I really appreciate about his adaptations is how they make Garfield a little more multifaceted.

While he does still have his trademark traits and quirks, he's allowed to show other emotions as well.

He can be happy, sad, excitable, afraid, downtrodden, caring, angry.

Garfield is able to show that he isn't just lazy and cynical.

And although it was only shown in the beginning montage, I do appreciate that movie does show that Garfield does legitimately care for Jon and Odie, which is something that you rarely see in the comics and even a good chunk of the adaptations.

Once again, it kinda harkens back to the 80s adaptations, specifically the series of specials made between 1982 and 1991.

I guess to give you guys some examples.

In Garfield in the Rough, when the trio find themselves attacked by the panther that escaped from the local zoo, Garfield took shelter up in a tree while Odie and Jon were forced to take cover in the car. But that only got them so far as the panther was able to break the driver-side window. And when Garfield noticed this, he literally jumps from the tree, onto the panther's back, and proceeds to claw and scratch the big cat in a rage!

Yeah, Garfield literally fought a feral big cat for the safety of his owner and dog!

That takes fucking courage man!

Or how about in Here Comes Garfield, where Odie gets sent to the pound. And while Garfield was happy about that, he realized just how empty and boring life would be with Odie. And so, he decides to go rescue him, especially more so after finding out Odie was scheduled to get FUCKING EUTHANIZED!

Oh yeah! There was a Garfield adaptation where Odie almost got put down!

You realize how insane that sounds, right?

And despite his best attempts, Garfield ends up getting locked up with Odie.

And in the approaching hours to his demise, Garfield reminisces on the good times he's had with Odie (accompanied by an admittedly sad song).

And when it's finally time and Odie gets dragged off to meet his maker, Garfield actually starts shedding tears.

And finally there's Garfield On the Town, where Garfield gets lost in the big city. And during his journey, he stumbled upon his childhood home (an Italian restaurant that's now abandoned) and more importantly, was reunited with his estranged mother, who he hadn't seen since he was a kitten.

And during this special, we see a much more caring and gentler side of Garfield.

So yeah, that's all I have to see for all this.

Think I The Garfield Movie is pretty solid film overall and I can definitely tell that the people behind it really cared about Garfield and truly understood what makes him such a lovable character.

Unfortunately, I believe this film does have the issue of being obviously more geared towards the fans.

Which is not a bad thing.

But if the reception towards The Super Mario Bros. Movie taught anything, not everybody's gonna appreciate that.

But in all-in-all, I'm kinda glad this movie exists and I wouldn't mind rewatching every once in a while.

And I'm more glad that Mark Dindal has finally returned to directing animated films after not doing so in almost 20 years.

And while it may not be a good as Cats Don't Dance and especially the godsend that is The Emperor's New Groove, for a grand return to animated directing, this ain't half bad.

And even if you don't like this film, I think we can all agree on that it's leagues better than the last film Dindal was unfortunate enough to direct.

[kleenex-tissues]

Yours Truly (9)

AO3 here

Ch. 9: No One Will Ever Believe You

“On your left!”

Damian arched to the right just as a metal pipe swung at him. He dodged it with ease, causing the assailant to lose his footing and trip forward. Damian swung his foot high into the air, letting it drop with full force onto the man’s head. He landed on the floor with a resounding ‘thud’ and groaned into the concrete before losing consciousness.

Just as Damian allowed himself to take a breath, he sensed another figure approaching from behind. He had thought he and Tim had taken down all of the gang members, but he supposed some were just too bull-headed to stay down. He swiftly ducked and swept his leg out behind him in a half-circle, knocking his final attacker to the floor. As he began to turn around and strike him once more for good measure, Damian saw Tim already cuffing the man.

Tim looked up and gave Damian a smile, saying, “Nice work, Robin. I think that’s a new personal record.”

Damian nodded in agreement, moving towards more of the gang members to tie them up, as well. They had already made quick work of them, but he did not wish to linger. Barbara had already tipped off the police to their location, having been watching the fight from her home base as Oracle. Sirens were already sounding in the distance. As soon as the police arrived, the vigilantes would leave to continue their patrol of Gotham.

Of course, Tim had to ruin the silent victory with useless chatter. “What a great night! We got some action with a few more hours of patrol to spare. Bats is definitely gonna be impressed with how quick we apprehended them.”

Damian attempted to pointedly ignore him as he had been for the last few weeks. Even though Damian was now talking to Marinette daily, he still resented his brothers for forcing him into the situation. He did not need help making friends. Jon, for example, seemed entirely content with their friendship, so surely he couldn’t be that bad at communicating. Besides, many people to take care of would just cause him more issues. Anyone he deemed himself ‘close’ to was capable of handling their own, and Marinette was on an entirely different continent. He would be safe from the problems plaguing the states. Whatever help she needed, the Justice League would surely step in on time. There was no need to worry for any of them, so he certainly did not need someone to worry about.

Tim continued his talking, either oblivious to or ignoring the fact that Damian had stopped listening. Thankfully, the police had closed in, and the boys were free to leave. Damian didn’t even look back before leaping out of the window and attaching his grappling hook to the farthest roof it could reach. He heard Tim call out after him, but he had very little patience tonight. He wanted nothing more than to get patrol over with.

His brother, though, was determined to make a trampoline out of every one of Damian’s nerves. Tim was close behind him, following every movement with an ease only years of vigilantism could create. His voice rang annoyingly in Damian’s ears, and the frustration overtook him. In the movement of distraction, Damian’s shot fell short of the ledge his grappling hook was aimed for, and he began to plummet.

In a panic, Damian tried to send out another shot with his back-up device, only to miss that too. It wasn’t like him to be so off his game. Surely this was punishment for allowing himself to humor Marinette so often and give in to vain prattling. But he could accept that, he supposed. A friend in exchange for his life as Robin. He never would have considered this before, but he decided he could live with the possibly paralyzing consequences of the fall. At least, then he wouldn’t have to put up with Tim on patrols anymore.

Halfway through his losing battle with gravity, an arm wrapped around him and pulled him back towards the sky. Tim had caught him.

Damian did not think there could be anything more humiliating.

They landed on the roof in a pile of limbs, their combined weight too much for the rope to pull them up properly. Damian wasted no time disengaging himself from his brother, muttering about how everything would have been fine. That fall wouldn’t have killed him.

His muttering was interrupted by a punch to his arm, and he turned to face Tim. Tim’s red face was full of anger and a little grief. Damian was confused. It wasn’t a big deal, right? Probably some leg injuries, less mobility, but Barbara could always help him learn to cope with that. He was built tougher than to let such a short height kill him.

“You could’ve seriously hurt yourself,” Tim cried. “You’ve gotta stop getting in such a hurry. Beware of your surroundings! How many times have you yelled at me for the same thing, and yet here we are?”

In his state of anger, Tim grabbed Damian’s shoulders and shook him. Maybe he was hoping he could shake the sense back into his brother. Maybe he was just hoping he hadn’t had to watch another get hurt and needed to tether himself back to the ground. Either way, his grip left a dull pain in Damian’s arms, and he became acutely aware of what was happening.

He reached up to place a hand on Tim’s arm. “I’m alright, Drake. Just a slip-up that will likely never happen again.” He raised his other hand to grab the opposite arm. “Now, let me go before I actually sustain any damage.”

Tim’s chin drooped and he let the grip on his younger brother go slack. Damian hadn’t seen Tim so despondent since their father had disappeared for a year. Tim was supposed to be happy, albeit sleep-deprived – not worrying over something so silly.

Tim whispered softly, looking off into the night sky. “I know you’re upset with me, but I could never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

The moonlight cast a sparkle in Tim’s eyes, and Damian sucked in a breath. He wasn’t good with feelings, none of the Wayne's particularly were, but seeing Tim now, Damian couldn’t help but want to console him. It was uncomfortable, this feeling of worry. Damian Wayne had been taught from a young age that feelings made you weak, but he knew that Tim Drake was anything but.

Damian begrudgingly moved to sit next to his brother and stare at the sky, as well. Gotham was truly a beautiful city at night. The whole city seemed to glimmer with a warm light. It had been hard work to make the streets safer after all these years, but he knew it was worth it to see the look of relief on his father’s aging face.

He looked at Tim through the side of his peripheral vision. Tim hadn’t moved a bit, and that seemed to make something in the pit of Damian’s heart ache.

He coughed awkwardly before muttering, “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not going anywhere.”

It seemed for a moment that Tim hadn’t heard Damian, but he finally chuckled. It was sad, Damian noticed. A defeated, breathless laugh, without so much as a smile on his face.

“I’m sorry about the whole pen pal thing. I know we overstepped your boundaries a bit there. We just got really excited, and Dick really wanted you to be able to talk with people your own age. Not just us, silly old adults. We each had a group growing up, somewhere we could belong outside of Batman’s crew.” Tim turned to look at his brother, and Damian held his breath. “After the whole ‘teen titans’ thing fell apart, we were worried about you."

Damian scoffed, but he knew that even the darkness of the night could not hide his blushing face. “You need not worry about me. I am perfectly fine.” He paused before uttering his next sentence. “I have you nitwits to keep me company, after all.”

It was as close as both boys knew Damian would get to affection, so Tim took it stride with a soft smile. “We love you, too, little wing.”

Tim went in for a hug, but Damian was too quick and was up and away before he could reach his target. Damian swept the dust off of his clothes and began walking towards the other side of the roof. He hesitated before turning partially to face Tim once more.

“I’ll have you know, Marinette is a good person. We talk daily. She’s mailing a sweater for Titus soon.”

A large grin overtook Tim’s face before faltering slightly. “Wait, why are you telling me this?”

“Because no one will ever believe you,” Damian smirked.

“And just why not? We could hack into your account easily!”

Damian’s face contorted into an unsettling expression, in what Tim assumed was an attempt at a maniacal smile, before taunting, “Only if you want Bernard to know you’ve been making out with Brown.”

Tim merely scoffed and folded his arms. “Bernard already knows, understands, and doesn’t care. Try again.”

“Oh? Does he know about your steamy flights with Kent, too?”

Damian had struck the nail directly on the head. Tim’s confidence faltered and in a horrified voice, whispered, “You wouldn’t.”

“We both know that I would.”

Tim fell to the roof in mock agony, pounding his fist on the concrete and wailing about how unfair life was and ‘why couldn’t he have gotten a nicer little brother.’ Damian’s work was done. His silence would be valuable to helping Damian not scare off Marinette. With both Duke and Tim sworn to silence, he had nothing to worry about. Marinette would stay a secret, and he would get all of her attention in return.

To: maridesigns@xxxxx.net From: d.w.redbird@xxxxx.net Subject: Re: Growing Up

Hello Marinette,

I did have someone I loved once, but it was for a very brief time. We were rather close, so the feelings seemed to appear quite naturally. I ignored the feeling. I did not have time for love.

He kissed me. Once, when we were 15. We never spoke of it again, and I suppose, he eventually stopped loving me. We are still comrades, however. Our friendship was more important than a childhood crush could ever be.

Perhaps you will think this one day, too.

I hope your friendship becomes more important for you. I hope you will learn what it is to love someone else.

I will let you know when the package you sent arrives. Expect pictures of Titus in that email.

Good luck, Damian

[croik]

some rambling about TMA

So the first time I listened to TMA, it was as Season 4 was airing, and I stopped after the season was done. Since the sequel’s been announced, I decided to go back to relisten and finally finish, which I did! And overall, I’m really glad I did, because I enjoyed Season 5 and the finale a lot! There’s still so much to love about TMA as a whole, from the acting to the sound design to the statements etc etc. If anyone wants to chat about it hit me up! But in the meantime I’m gonna do the thing where I rate the seasons and chat about them a little.

For me, the seasons from best to worst are 2, 1, 5, 3, 4

Season 2 is just so good. It’s in that good sweet spot where the over arching plot has showed its head but is still mostly mystery. The statements are starting to include repeat characters and call backs. Jon is completely unhinged. I just love getting to the end of a statement and then hearing the extra click, followed by his very furtive “Supplemental.” Even when he doesn’t have much to add, I always look forward to it. Plus this is when we get to hear Gertrude Robinson, the best character!!! Gosh I love Gertrude so much. What a fascinating and bad ass character. Sorry Johnny but your mom is sexy.

Season 1 is of course the OG. I remember not being entirely sold at first because I’m not huge on anthologies, but they sprinkled just enough of the A plot in through the early eps to be really compelling. The first time Jon’s recording got interrupted (by Elias?) was such a good drop and I really looked forward to those moments in the "real world". The season finale could have benefitted from the better sound work of later in the show, but, yeah, of course, right? The first season statements are still some of the most memorable and set up so many intriguing characters and storylines, even if not all of them paid off perfectly.

Season 5 I’m coming to way after the fact, so I’d heard a few things about it going in. I’ll admit my expectations were low. Happily, I enjoyed it a lot! The acting has only gotten better, same with the sfx, and I was a little surprised by how much I liked listening to Jon and Martin just talk about the world. They have a lot of interesting morality and character debates, and the final reveals around Annabelle, the Eye, etc, were very satisfying. I would rate it higher than season 1 except for the very large issue that I just did not enjoy the statements.

I mean, the show has so many statements over the 200 eps, they of course range from legit chilling to kinda lame, but in earlier seasons, a big part of the horror for me came from the disruption of the subject’s lives. We’d get a little setup, and then some poor shmuck had everything taken from them, and either survived traumatized or just plain didn’t make it. Sometimes you’d get a villain point of view! But in season 5, all the statements just bled together for me. There weren’t characters with lives anymore, just snapshots taken in the middle of a never ending horror, with very little context and no conclusion. But even worse, Jon and Martin talk about and treat the statements like an inconvenience. “What, another one?” Martin groans, and Jon apologizes, and they both sigh and go through the chore of giving us the show’s content. It’s a real bummer for me, and I wish they would have treated the statements with more reverence or importance, if they had to exist at all.

Season 3 is a mixed bag for me. On the one hand I like seeing the lore fleshed out. Jon slowly gaining powers is very fun and he gets to meet some really fun side characters (POOR GERRY!) but also some irritating ones (I’m one of those that really couldn’t stand Nikola’s voice). But season 3 also set up a few things I didn’t care for that got cranked up to 11 in season 4: the “I could tell you, but I won’t” play from the villains, and the complete lack of compassion that Jon receives once he starts gaining his powers.

Yes, there’s plenty of reason for Elias to act like he did. But “I’m going to withhold information for literally no reason at all” is something I really hate, and his explanation for it after the fact doesn’t soothe my annoyance with it during relisten. It is just so frustrating, and not in a way that feels like “yes I like hating this antagonist” but in a “the plot demands he doesn’t share too much” way. Then there’s Jon, which brings me to season 4.

Season 4 is the only one that I have to admit I actively disliked. I wanted to listen again because I didn’t remember much from it, and wanted to come into 5 fresh – only to realize that not much happens in 4? The entire season is either A) someone complaining that they don’t know what to do next, or B) someone complaining that they can’t talk to the other characters. If there’s anything more annoying (IMO) than characters refusing to share info for no reason, it’s for the reason of “I’m keeping you safe.” Then there’s Jon. Not to excuse some of his shittier choices, but there were times it was very frustrating bordering on unfair that he took so much of the angst and blame of the other characters. He spends several entire seasons talking about how hard he’s trying to keep hold of his humanity, while gaining almost no sympathy from anyone – just their suspicion and scorn when he falls short. Even Martin (in season 5 mostly) jabs all the time about how spooky and weird he’s become. And he is spooky and weird, but there are so few points in the show where Jon receives honest, unconditional sympathy, and I feel so bad for him. He’s trying really hard! I just want to give him a blanket and some soup, and tell him he did his best.

The bright spot of season 4 though was Jon and Daisy, for sure. I really enjoyed that unexpected friendship, and I felt for Jon in season 5, and his disappointment when they were reunited.

And that’s it, I guess!? TMA is still one of the best horror podcasts around, and I am looking forward to TMP, even if the prospect of more multiverse has me a little wary. If you read all this I hope to see you around fandom <3

[rathayibacter]

trying something funky!

so, Jon East (whos absolutely fantastic, check them out!) slapped me out of nowhere w a bunch of kind words about Disparateum on twitter. and, well, ive been sitting on a bunch of little Disp-related projects and in-progress stuff, so today felt like a great day to release em out into the world.

but! since these aren’t really part of the game proper, theyre more supplemental and abstract, I figured I’d try something out and put em on itch for free using the demo function. don’t know how this is gonna work, so id appreciate if you checked it out and let me know!

oh and if youre curious what’s inside (at least right now, I plan to randomly sneak more stuff in) I’ll put that under a read-more.

we’ve got:

Three cute lil printable bookmarks! One’s a play aid for weather events in the Named City, one’s a list of ice cream flavors from Parlor Tricks, and the third is a location entry for the interdimensional record store mentioned in Seven Plays.

speaking of, we also have Apoptosis, a playbill adventure for Disparateum inspired heavily by Pathologic. there’s a plague whos vector of infection is knowledge about it. can you stop it before it consumes everyone?

and lastly, there’s a preview Layer for Disparateum Act II, coming eventually. it’s The Playground! a lantern-lit castle world inhabited entirely by children, where they duel with wooden swords and philosophize on the nature of dibs and cooties in the Child-Emperor’s royal court.

[antlerx-art]

GOOD OMENS 2 EPISODE 2 REACTION - CONTAINS SPOILERS‼️

sooo bearded crowley in this episode am I right 😔 yup 2500 BC… HERE HE IS!!! i hate him so much

nah he’s talking about God abandoning him i don’t actually hate him poor fallen angel

WHAT IS AZIRAPHALE DOING

so if this is after the flood crowley had a huge glow down

“I COMMAND THEE, BEGONE!” “no.” he’s so me i’m so him (he has a permit from god??)

“satan and his diabolical ministers may destroy everything Job owns no question asked, hugs kisses, god” AND THE PAPER IS THAT LONG?

CROWLEY’S SO BITCHY

so aziraphale had met muriel before

LONG HAIRED GABRIEL WHY DOES HE LOOK SO?? JUST?? SO WRONG😭

AHH EVE WAS THE FIRST NOT ADAM

“i think they quite like the old ones”

alphabetical order!! FIRST LETTER OF THE FIRST SENTENCE HELP

OH WAIT I GET IT, in the playlists prime video dropped you have to look at the first letter of the lyrics of each song to have the words “ineffable” and “tempting” AND IT’S BECAUSE OF THIS JOKE

“EVERY DAY ITS A-GETTING CLOSER”🎶 lol didn’t jon hamm say he doesn’t sing in an interview

CROWLEY CHANGED CLOTHES THE TURTLENECK DBHDHSJN CROWLEY WITH THE TUTLENECK

theory time: shax says that the miracle could’ve been performed only by the mightiest of archangels and crowley asks her how does she know he didn’t do it, are you telling me crowley was an archangel??

okay they’re both risking to be eliminated now

aziraphale SINGING

NOOOOOSTOPCRYING MAGGIE

HEHEHEHHE SHE’S IN LOVE (“it’s not your job to sort out my doomed love life” because he should think about HIS love life first)

“every record they play eventually turns into that song” you mean like queen songs in the bentley?

“Gabriel.” HEART SKIPPED A BEAT “where is Gabriel.”

wooo saraqael creating wheelchair ramps

“falling in love is what humans do” crying rn

don’t i know you? NO YOU DONT SHUT UP 😁

NAHHH why is heaven watching him again leave aziraphale alone☹️

HERE IT GOEEEEES EVERY DAY🎶🎶🎶🎶

the pub from the picture!!

making them fall in love this is such a fanfiction trope i love it

A SUDDEN RAINSTORM FORCES THEM TOGETHER BENEATH A CANOPY THEY LOOK INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES AND REALIZE THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER???? OHHHHH I JUST KNOW THATS GONNA HAPPEN TO AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY AS WELL

if you’re going to invoke fiction… aziraphale are you about to say jane austen?

HE SAID IT yess i knew they were gonna have the ball for nina and maggie I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE?

“PEOPLE WOULD GATHER DO SOME FORMAL DANCING AND REALIZE THEY HAD MISUNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER AND WERE ACTUALLY DEEPLY IN LOVE” okay but can you try to be a little more subtle

a clue!!!😼

“jim tell me what do you know” / “oookay, whaddayaknow” IM ON THE FLOOR STOPSPPP WHY ITS NOT EVEN THAT FUNNY

WOOO PURPLE EYES- is that god’s voice?

ANOTHER FLASHBACK oh no not bearded crowley again… his hair has lost volume

Bildad the Shuhite?? 💀

“i know you” / “you do not know me” AAAAAAAAAAA

NO WAIT THIS IS AFTER THE FLOOD. WHEN CROWLEY SAID “YOU CANT KILL KIDS” IM UNWELL aziraphale does know this is not what crowley wants to do

“I KNOW THE ANGEL YOU WERE” OHH I WAS WRONG HE REMEMBERS HE REMEMBERS HIM

he wants to do it because he was blameless too but he fell anyway. bye i’m about to appear on international news

the goats are back 😭😭😭😭 STOP THIS IS CUTE look at aziraphale’s face

“you can stop grinning” HHEJEHRHEHRH

“DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE ON THE SAME SIDE” AND YEARS LATER CROWLEY IS THE ONE THAT TELLS HIM THEYRE ON THEIR OWN SIDE

“be not afraid” 👁️biblically accurate aziraphale👁️

TY TENNANT!!!! why’s he so gay

AWWWGGGHHH DAVID SAYING HIS SON SEEMS NICE

AZIRAPHALE SHOUTINGBHAHAH “I BRING THE WARNING” that was unexpected

what. just. happened.

aziraphale knew they were safe because crowley wouldn’t actually kill kids 😭

“oooh aren’t you brilliant” giggling kicking my feet

GIRL WHY DID YOU TURN THEM INTO GECKOS

am i about to witness aziraphale’s first time being drunk?

THATS A PARALLEL A DAMN PARALLEL between crowley/nina offering wine and aziraphale/maggie both not drinking

“are you trying to tempt me?” i was wrong this is going to be the first time aziraphale EATS omg HEHEHHHH HES PRECIOUS

lol btw this big thunderstorm is nothing compared to what has happened a few days ago where i live

CROWLEY IS ON HIS OWN SIDE!!!! AND THEN IT BECOMES THEIR SIDE!!!

“see you in hell” shut up???

i love this whole flashback but why does he have to have that beard im sorry i can’t get over it😔

YEP THATS GOD’S VOICE

also i just realized there’s no narrator this time rip

“if you want answers come back when you can make a whale” CROWLEY COULD MAKE STARS AND STILL DIDNT GET THE ANSWERS

“shoemaking and obstetrics” HELPPPP

aziraphale’s in trouble ohhhh he LIED

D’YOU NEED A LIFT SOMEWHERE 🫢

HE ASKED TO USE THE BENTLEY OMG THEIR CAR

crowley is me i’m so jealous of my possessions no matter who you are

aziraphale has a driving license?😨

NOUR! *slaps his hand*

aziraphale being bitchy is my favourite thing

THE SCENEEEEE THE SCENE FROM THE PICTURE IM SO EXCITED

aziraphale is so nervous nooo my little guy HE THINKS HES GOING TO FALL WHATTTT

“IM NOT TAKING YOU TO HELL, ANGEL”

NOOO THIS IS SO HEARTBREAKING STOP. STOP CRYING.

“with your curly little.. and your neat white” MY GODDD

AZIRAPHALE VOICE WHEN HE SAYS “IM A FALLEN ANGEL” I CANT. DO. THIS.

“that sounds um..” / “lonely?” end me right now

BUT THEYRE NOT GOING TO BE LONELY ANYMORE THEY HAVE EACH OTHER THEYRE ON THEIR OWN SIDE

(crowley saying “you’re on your own with this one” in ep1 is even worse to hear now 😍)

MURIEL CLIP NEXT EPISODE YAYY

tagging @neil-gaiman since he said he was interested in reading live reactions

[neednottoneed]

all the ones divisible by 3 for the character ask meme, for whatever two characters you last read fic for!

anon this is SOSOSO many so I'm gonna do half! For Danny/Ich because the last fic I read was @jon-withnoh's very good Nie Wirst Du Mir Ganz Gehören

First impression: (from the book because I listened to the Stuttgart recording first and then read the book) Ich - oh she's a little anxious weirdo I adore her Mrs. Danvers - this woman is absolutely a lesbian you cannot change my mind.

3. A song that reminds me of them:

"The End" by Daughter

We really are something else Let's say you were sent here Just to keep me in check My pulse is quick, my neck is stretched Whoever says I need to just

Get over it, get over him, get over myself

6. Least favorite ship:

I'm not a fan of Ich/Maxim except as like a character study because I think they're fascinating in a messed-up way but should not be together.

For Danvers, really anything that implies she had a husband because a) lesbian and b) 'Mrs.' is her title because she's a housekeeper not because she was ever married.

9. Least favorite outfit:

Ich - specifically the Vienna revival in "Hilf Mir Durch Die Nacht" when they put her in shorts?? as her nightclothes? which just does not make sense for that character.

Danvers - She has one (1) outfit and I adore it so much.

15. Worst storyline they had:

Specifically the 2020 movie with trying to add that weird pseudo-feminist angle and Mrs Danvers becoming "friends" with Ich. nope.

Gonna stop there but feel free to keep sending these!!

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Misery AND The World Has Turned And Left Me Here

Well, life is insane but I intentionally let my phone die and instead found the time to write up my thoughts on Episodes 12 and 13 of The Case of The Greater Gatsby! I know Episode 14 dropped today and I was gonna do all three at once but--there's sooo much to talk about! The notes I had for just these two episodes alone were...erm...generous in number. So, uh, spoilers under the cut and my apologies for the amount of stuff I'm about to say?

First off, WOW WHAT A PAIR OF EPISODES! New reveals! Even newer questions! Quips and lies and truths! A banger of a cliffhanger! Jon Cozart followed by my man Dylan Saunders in his Shipwrecked debut! THE RETURN OF ERNEST HEMINGWAY (the noise I made when I saw he was in this episode…)!! Well played, Shipwrecked, well-freaking-played.

So let’s start out with a bang. Here’s my Wacky And Unlikely Greater Gatsby Theory of the Day(TM): Sheilah was having an affair… with Mel. Think about it: We start the year with Sheilah and Mel hitting it off. It’s about this time that the unsolicited affections start. It’s later, when Sheilah starts doing things like going to lunch with Mel, that Fitzgerald begins to believe she’s acting strange and suspect an affair. Sheilah’s the one to make Greater Gatsby a movie script and then recruit Mel to take it on (proving that Mel was lying to/obfuscating the truth from Ford during “Hook”, by the way). And then Mel callously fires Fitzgerald from Grapes of Wrath for no real professional reason and with apparent joy, almost like she has something personal, such as jealousy, against him. During his final missive, Fitzgerald tells Zelda about some great secret he’s found to put in his screenplay and that she would “laugh as I’ve been dosed some of my own medicine.” While supposedly he could have found out any secret from any of the party guests, the implication is that this final, deadly secret is about someone doing to Scott what he’d done to Zelda. Did someone steal his work? Possible, but everyone knows about Darby rewriting Grapes of Wrath, so not altogether likely. So maybe, just maybe, one of the women he was seeing was having an affair behind his back. Perhaps Fitzgerald discovered once and for all that Sheilah was having an affair, with Mel of all people, and, with alongside his previously cultivated antipathy towards Mel decides to throw that fact into the screenplay, damn the consequences. Meanwhile, we know that TD would do anything for his beloved Mel, and he’s probably also a little resentful about being kept out of the social club. So he finds out that Fitzgerald knows about the affair and intends to reveal it to the world, and, to protect Mel from scandal, kills Fitzgerald and takes the manuscript. Knowing that they both knew about the affair would explain why Fitzgerald talked the way he did to the mysterious stranger at the end. And yeah I know, this whole theory is a little wild, but never let it be said that I’m afraid of a big swing.

(A potential argument against this theory is the pre-Thanksgiving recording, when Sheilah urgently calls for Fitzy and he goes to help her, saying “Blast, not again! I thought we’d put a stop to this!” A stop to what? If I’m right about Mel, the “unsolicited affections” likely would have stopped by this point. On the other hand, the “this” could be something completely different. Is Fitzy the first victim of the threatening hate mail? Or is a third thing happening? Because it’s hard to see what he meant by “put a stop to it” if talking about letters, whether written with love or hate. Unless of course he knew who was sending them?)

On the other hand, Sheilah is not the only woman in Fitzy’s LA life. Vivian starts the second episode by making it very clear that she gets what she wants. The Greater Gatsby script tells the story of a innocent young man arriving in LA to write movies before falling under the allure of a morally dubious red-headed woman. Was Vivian inspiration for this character? Or was Fitzgerald already writing a meaty role for his red-headed mistress, a role that someone like Willie couldn’t snatch away? (Meanwhile, I should note that while coming up with this Vivian-esque character is when Fitzgerald starts to accuse Sheilah of acting strangely. Maybe he’s deflecting his own behavior onto her, excusing his own affair by accusing her of having one as well?). Vivian also returns to Fitzy’s house on the night of his murder, leaving seconds before the supposed killer arrives. It doesn’t seem likely that secret Fitzy discovered is hers—that’s just not the tone of the conversation. But tones can be misleading. And Fitzgerald uncovering her big secret and putting it in his script would fit the role the Vivian-esque character seems to play. Regardless, Fig and Ford are right—Viv did lie to them and her angle in this whole case is hard to understand. What exactly is she up to? Did she see the killer? Was it Barnaby and that’s why she’s so sure? But why not tell the police?

And speaking of Barnaby—his icy warning to Fitzgerald was chilling and completely belies his earlier statements to Fig and Ford. It seems like our girls aren’t the only ones lying through their teeth. I’m really loving how this character turned out—he’s so charmingly dorky and funny but with these moments of darkness that make you understand why Vivian’s accusing him of strangling another man to death. Also I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if his joke about the dead fellow soldier wasn’t a joke at all. Really, things aren’t looking good for either of the Nightingales.

Moving on from them for a bit, though, we learned a bit more about the Brigade and their thoughts on the Greater Gatsby. Fitzgerald gets the idea for Greater Gatsby, announcing his intention to fill in the gaps (which we know come to contain the secrets of various Hollywood insiders) right as he’s about to attend the first meeting of what will become the Brigade. We later learn that the Brigade unanimously despise the script (it’s not just Donald), so its interesting to wonder about the role they play in shaping its earlier development. Does someone spill secrets to Fitzgerald that they later regret enough to kill for?

On the subject of the murder, what about that license plate? “1ADLR1.” Something about it feels familiar but I can’t tell you what. I spent several minutes trying to remember who was called “Adler” before realizing I was thinking about the Planetarium Meredith Stepien works at in Chicago. Also, it’s funny that car expert and fussy neighbor Citizen Jasper Fox failed to mention such a loud vehicle when talking about Fitzy’s last night. Did he just respect the car too much? What is he hiding? Regardless, the murderer’s silence on the tapes indicates that they knew about their presence. By my count, the people who know for sure about them are: Sheilah, Vivian, TD, Mel, Dorothy, Darby, Ernest, and George.

Speaking of George Astrum of Astrum Appliances (Jon Cozart!), it seems pretty apparent that he and the Highwayman are one in the same. But is this a red-herring? Or is there even more to George than doorway robbery? Is it possible that he’s in fact the missing Eugene? Honestly, I could see Jon Cozart as the addition to the Brosenthal/Esther sibling double act. The Persauds also take a moment to let us know that Astrum knows about the tapes. Was Astrum actually an investigator doing recon? Could he be reporting back to the eventual murderer, letting them know to stay quiet incase Fitzgerald has his tape-deck going?

Which brings us to our final big plot thread: Rex's letter and Lex’s baffling subsequent disappearance. Why escalate with Lex Punchwhistle of all people? Were the Punchwhistle twins the original targets in all of this? Does that timeline even work out—people didn’t know they were coming until after Willie received her letter. And how does Eugene play into all of this? Is he behind the letters? Did Lex see the letter first and follow some hidden clue back to Eugene (we know she was following up on some leads), leaving Rex to assume the worst? Or did the leads she was following get her into trouble, and the threatening letter just happened to arrive at the same time?

The next episode is already out and I am SO EXCITED TO LISTEN TO IT!! Seems like it’s essentially the mid-season finale and I can’t tell if I should be excited, terrified, or both

Some stray thoughts because there was too much to pontificate about:

-Shout out to the LBD cast in these episodes! Obviously Mary Kate is amazing and Vivian is so much fun. DVG was a terrific centerpiece and guide through the last year of Fitzy’s life, and Julia Cho’s just been fucking killing it this whole time. Also DVG and Laura Spencer totally need to play love interests at some point so that he can have romanced all three Bennett sisters.

-Fitzgerald revealed that he and Zelda promised to visit each other in December. Is this just another reminder of how Fitzgerald’s life was tragically cut short too soon? Or were these plans for early December, and their failure to follow through on them, relevant to Fitzy’s demise?

-Fitzy was so real when reacting to the actual sound of his own voice. Every time I hear how I sound I die a little inside.

-That line about tape recorders being too fussy for Zelda’s “idiotic mind” is a major OOF moment. No wonder she has issues, if he talks to her like that.

-DYLAN! Didn’t talk much about his stuff cause it didn’t seem as plot relevant but it was such a joy to hear him and I really like Donald! One of Hollywood’s last good men!

-Fitzy was totally selling Greater Gatsby to Roger, right? The conversation with Ernest probably gave him the idea.

[theredheaded-stuff]

Another request/ask/answer thingy:

The Bat fam are shopping and a lady stops them frantically and excitedly asking if Dami was between the ages of 7-19 and when Bruce confirms he is the lady hands him a paper and holds out a clip board telling him all about their talent show (like how little girls do beauty pageants and stuff, Since Damian has numerous talents: playing violin, numerous instruments, painting, I’m sure singing and dancing (I doubt Talia wouldn’t make sure he knew how to do such things) and that she’s always observed just how talented the Wayne’s are and that Damian would be perfect to enter in the contest and that the deadline is 5:00pm. And Bruce politely declines and a couple of kids-snotty rich ones that Dami recognizes form his class come up to make fun of him and snicker saying Dami wouldn’t really do too well in a talent show, while making racist comments about his heritage. So Dami decides to go back and sign up PURELY to prove to them that whether he’s fully white, Arabic, Chinese, or whatever it doesn’t matter because in a talent show…having talent and confidence is ALL that matters…two things Damian definitely excels perfectly in.

1.) how does the Batfam (this includes Anastasia) react to Damian entering a talent show, because he’s never done something like that before?

After entering word gets out that Damian Wayne entered and the list went from 4 contestants to 20-30, so The entire Batfam (Alfred as well) show up to support their little gremlin, go back stage to see Dami and see him getting ready. Dick is helping out on anything he needs his outfit, makeup to help his green eyes pop more, and Alfred his helping with his hair.

Dami’s outfit: https://nataliarw2004.tumblr.com/post/686169086929108992/what-damian-would-wear-while-figure-skating-for-a

2.) how does the Batfam, Kent’s, & Diana react to Damian’s outfit and hair in the link?

Dami apologizes to Jon about canceling their afternoon movie for this and Jon is okay with it because this is cooler and they should both enter again.

Batfam leave they make fun of the other talents because the age range is 7-19 (so form Jon & Damian to Tim and Steph) and they were bullying Dami so payback, even the Kent’s and maybe a little of the JL show up especially Clark and Diana.

The Batfam think dami will do the violin or paint, but their not sure because Dick and Alfred coached Damian on choosing what he was gonna do and kept it from everyone else as a surprise….so when it’s Damian’s turn….he’s smiling brightly like a regular child his age looking happy and excited before confidently pulling off an amazing singing and ice skating act and it was amazing because the Batfam didn’t even know Dami could sing or ICE SKATE!-they were sure he could dance but not sing..he def got Bruce’s singing voice.

Dami’s determined to win because he wants to prove to those rich kids that he’s capable of competing and winning in talent shows regardless of his race.

Damian’s Performance: https://href.li/?https://youtu.be/q_c3hBrrcOs

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3.) how does The Batfam, the Kent’s, & Diana react to Damian’s ice skating performance?

4.) at 2:29-2:36 Damian flirts with the crowd with such charisma it would make Dick proud as it gets an especially large cheer from the crowds, how does the Batfam, kent’s, & Diana react to Damian’s flirting?

5.) how do they react to the crowd cheering loudly when Damian flirts with the crowd?

Damian’s singing and song he chose: https://youtu.be/hsmHt7vD4QE

6.) how does the Batfam & Kent’s & Diana react to Damian’s singing voice?

Let’s be honest Dick is prolly in the walk way holding a huge camera in his hand recording and reciting some of the dance moves like a mom just like the mom did in Mean Girls during the plastics Christmas dance.

7.) how does the Batfam, Kent’s, & Diana react to seeing Dick holding a huge camera and dancing in the walkway like the mom from Mean girls did during their Christmas dance?

Damian wins of course.

8.) how does Dami, Batfam, Kent’s, & Diana react to Damian wining getting a 10/10, 11/10, & a 11/10 as his score?

some of them were holding back their laughter, after all Damian again proving that he doesn't take shit home and that he has several talents, Dick was a little worried because Damian didn't do this before maybe Damian got hurt with the comment

They' find the outfit the cutest, some.of them talk some not, but i can say that everyone got a lot of photos, and i can also add that now Jon can brag to everyone in the contest that his friend have so many talents and didn't saw anyone doing better

Clark and Lois at first we're worried that Damian might fall but after some time they started to cheer and cheer up Damian from the audience, Bruce is quite proud and every other siblings looks surprised but well they're proud of their lil bro, Diana is cheering in loud voice, and if anyone even dare say something bad about her almost-nephew she gonna seriously start a fight.

They're all laughing, Jason is recording to save for Bribery, Damian is really good at the performance and talking to people

They're all just can't keep but also cheer to him, seriously if Damian didn't win this somehow something is really wrong with the Contest

Bruce loved it, well sincerely he was totally marveled, his dad used to sing to him when was sleep time so he was totally proud, Tim is putting this on YouTube and better Damian receive all the likes he deserves, Cass may or may be thinking on starting pick Damian to her Dance performances too, Dick is actually recording and saving it to himself.

They can't help but cannot stop the smiles of appear on their faces, Jason and Stephanie are legally thinking on go dance with Dick too, Diana is actually going and everyone is crackling.

They are not surprised but this doesn't mean they're not happy, they're literally cheering with everyone, Damian deserved this and deserved a lot more

Batfam is concerned and proud of having this little jewel on family and now knowing that he gonna do everything if you tease him enough, this knowledge gonna be saved.

Diana totally thinks on invite the Wayne's to any party that shows up to see the reactions of the rest of the fam to Damian's singing voice

Now that the Kents know that Damian can dance let just say that he can't Avoid participating in the festival dances

[lunapaper]

Album Review: 'Viva Las Vengeance' - Panic! At The Disco

Brendon Urie is one petty little bitch. 

Years later, the Panic! At The Disco frontman is still hung up on his former bandmates, Dallon Weekes and Ryan Ross, letting the salt run free on the band’s latest record, Viva Las Vengeance. 

‘Local God,’ the album’s fourth track, is Brendon at his most ugly and bitter, delivering backhanded lines like ‘You'll live forever as a local God/It's even better than the thing you're not,’ as if he’s condescendingly patting Ryan and Dallon on the head whilst assuring them ‘It’s okay, guys! At least you still got Open Mic Night at that shitty dive bar by the highway! Oh, by the way, did you see me melting faces off at the Bellagio the other night?’ He also can’t help but rub it in how ‘It's 2021 and I'm almost famous,’ simultaneously downplaying his fame and thirsting for more. 

It’s quite ironic telling Ryan and Dallon that they had so many chances to become superstars when Brendon spends a significant chunk of Viva Las Vengeance looking back on his glory days in Vegas and complaining about the price of fame (the latter a common theme since the release of 2016’s Death of a Bachelor). 

On ‘Star-Spangled Banner,’ he recalls playing Liberace’s piano at a house party and getting a lip ring down at the mall with Katie and Brittany. ‘I thought that I had friends, I thought I even liked them/But now I'm thinkin' maybe not so much,’ he muses on the aptly-titled ‘Sad Clown, ‘I hit the spacebar, I cannot play guitar,’ popping happy pills while scrolling through hate tweets (or as the rest of us call it, ‘valid criticism’).  

But that’s about as much self-reflection as you’re gonna get on Viva Las Vengeance. This is such a strange record; so delusional and filled with such undeserved ego from Brendon, even outright defensive at times. The production value is cheesy and overblown, hell-bent on being as obnoxious as fucking possible. Each song sounds as repetitive as the last, with Brendon shamelessly ripping off his idols under the guise of homage. 

‘God Killed Rock and Roll’ is a blatant Queen rip-off even by Brendon’s standards. The Bohemian Rhapsody hype is over, can we just let it go already?? (The film wasn’t even good!) Although it’s just in time for the Elvis biopic hype, I guess, judging by Brendon’s goofy impression in the pre-chorus. 

‘Sugar Soaker’ is like the dinner theatre version of a Grease track, coated in a thick layer of chintzy pop grease. ‘All By Yourself’ obviously interpolates Eric Carmen’s 1975 classic, turning it into one of those emotionally manipulative underdog anthems as if Brendon really gives a shit whether you dyed your hair pink to piss off Mum and Dad or got your arse kicked at school by Chad and his gaggle of jocks. Brendon stopped being the underdog the moment he decided to turn Ryan Ross’ creative vision into a soulless pop factory, churning out total dogshit. 

‘Star-Spangled Banner,’ meanwhile, is quite possibly the worst song Panic! Has ever produced. It’s a two-for-one deal: A Queen and a Thin Lizzy rip-off! It sounds like the kind of shit Glee would’ve covered back in the day, probably in an episode about the Glee Club feeling like a bunch of freaks after nobody applauded their saccharine rendition of Lil Jon’s ‘Bend Ova’ during school assembly.  

And why does Brendon feel the need to belt every goddamn line on this record?? More often than not, he struggles to hit those high notes, which is just so painful to listen to. If Brendon keeps this up, he’s gonna have no voice left... 

Viva Las Vengeance also has the misfortune of featuring some of Brendon’s sleaziest lyrics yet. 

His makeup sex in the middle of a breakup is about as enticing as a kick to the nads. He calls his woman a ‘lil sugar soaker’ with ‘red tail lights in the back of her head,’ threatening to drive her till she’s dead. And I’m sure whatever’s left of Panic!’s fandom will have absolutely no problem with Brendon turning domestic abuse into a catchy pop track, encouraging Maggie to hit her boyfriend back... 

The nerve of Brendon to call Ryan and Dallon local gods. The Brobecks gave us the magnum opus that was Violent Things. Ryan spun pure gold out of lines like ‘Sugarcane in the easy morning/Weathervanes my one and lonely,’ one of the most devastatingly romantic couplets committed to a pop song in recent times. It also didn’t take six people to write... 

And how does Brendon manage to express his love? Courtesy of ‘Don’t Let the Lights Go Out’: ‘You’re the only one that can operate my heavy machinery.’   

Simply put, this album is fucking trash. It’s the audio equivalent of linoleum: Dull, sterile and incredibly tacky. Brendon manages to hit new lows I didn’t even think were possible after Death of a Bachelor and 2018’s Pray for the Wicked. Here, his ego is just out of fucking control, at his most theatre kid worst. I mean, why bother listening to Viva Las Vengeance when you can just listen to IDKHow’s ‘Choke’ instead? That’ll give you a pretty good idea of just how much of a self-absorbed piece of shit Brendon is... 

‘We are the new Dead Kennedys,’ he has the gall, the gumption, the sheer audacity to claim on ‘Star-Spangled Banner.’ Bitch, you’re barely Imagine Dragons at this point. You’re less relevant than MGK. You’re Adam Levine-lite, with the same level of skill when it comes to seduction.  

You wouldn’t even be in possession of the Panic! name in the first place if it weren’t for Ryan. You’re not better than somebody just because you’re richer and more famous. You’ve managed to burn every bridge with almost every bandmate at this point, yet you wonder why you’re so lonely and miserable at the top. You might be the voice of Panic!, but they were the talent. You live a sad and delusional existence, and you’ve successfully managed to destroy whatever goodwill you still had from however many Panic! fans remain with this record. Well done. As the kids like to say: Retire, bitch. 

Don’t bother listening to Viva Las Vengeance. Do something better with your time and go listen to IDKHow or The Young Veins instead.  

- Bianca B. 

[grizzledyoungimpact]

Pairing: Daniel Garcia/Wynn Yuta Quote: No matter how tight a jam he’s in, the tramp always finds some way out. Verse: Once Upon a Time

Daniel Garcia saw the world for what it was. Or, at least, the way he believed it to be.

Daniel couldn’t remember what had influenced his negative outlook on life. Maybe it was the years he had spent in an orphanage, learning to look out for himself above all else. Maybe it was the way he had struggled once he had left his orphanage until two lovable losers named Matt Menard and Angelo Parker had taken him in. Either way, time had hardened the outlook Daniel had of the sleepy little town. It was why he didn’t struggle with the morality of taking what he wanted, be it stealing from stores or pick-pocketing townies. It wasn’t as if he needed to do such a thing, but it kept him busy.

That outlook was why he didn’t know what to make of the Yuta siblings.

Daniel was certain he didn’t like Wheeler. Everything about the older Yuta was so…rigid. Daniel was sure he saw the young man follow the same exact meals at Granny’s, even wearing the exact same outfit on the exact same days. Daniel wasn’t sure how the rest of the gym Wheeler seemed to spend all his time with handled the regimented but unsure gentleman’s life. Wheeler also seemed to be so good compared to the rest of his friends. Wheeler was the rescue puppies from a tree type, while men like Jon Moxley seemed to be the sell-out-your-friends type.

Though, the same goodness did seem to exist inside of Wynn Yuta.

Daniel was certain he liked Wynn. Wynn had that same optimism that Daniel found to be unbearable in others, but they made it seem tolerable. Wynn’s smile could light an entire city block and Daniel loved them just the same for it. Love? Was that the correct word for how he felt for the youngest Yuta sibling? Even in a world as screwy as this one, Daniel supposed everyone had someone.

Maybe that’s why he had decided to stop at the flower shop on his way home from work.

Daniel and Angelo had been heading home from helping take care of the record shop, Under the C, they worked at as they entered Rosetta’s. The red-haired owner, Abigail, was trimming some of the flowers on one end of the store while Wynn was on the other side, watering some of the more exotic flowers. Daniel hoped Wynn didn’t see him, keeping his head low. After all, he wasn’t sure what to say to them.

Angelo had other ideas.

“There’s your person,” Angelo smirked, playfully shoving his best friend, “go talk to them!”

“I can’t just do that! I-““You can,” Angelo rolled his eyes with another playful shove, “why even stop in here if you’re gonna pretend like they don’t exist?”

Daniel shoved Angelo back, rolling his eyes, “Careful, you moose! And keep it down, you’re gonna-“

“Danny?” came the bright voice of the young woman, “Hey!”

“Oh, gee, I think they’ve seen us, eh? Now what?” Angelo teased as he wrapped an arm around Daniel’s shoulders. Daniel winced, looking over at Wynn with a wide grin.

“Wynn! It’s good to see you!” Daniel gave a smirk, trying to give a little bit of a smolder. Women always mentioned how much they liked his smolder, after all. He had used it to get so many things before. “Angelo and I were hoping to find some flowers for Matt. He’s…sick.”

“Matt isn’t si-“ Angelo was cut off by Daniel’s elbow in his gut, an attempt to silence the other man. No, the third member of the friend circle, Matt Menard, was not sick. But Wynn didn’t need to know that. “Oh yeah! He’s got…uh…bronchitis.”

“Bronchitis! Exactly!” Daniel grinned, “It’ll be okay, though. No matter how tight a jam he’s in, the tramp always finds some way out.”

Wynn gave a wide grin, adjusting the sleeve of their blue button-up. “Well, if it’s a bouquet you want, I can help! Maybe I could help you deliver it?”

“Oh, that’s fun! He uh…we don’t wanna get you sick or nothin’,” Daniel wrapped a gentle arm around their shoulders, “Why don’t you show me what you got?”