#just know there is SO MUCH thought put into these pieces and i would be happy to elaborate on any of them!!! im so normal!!!!

[akutasoda]

HELLOO

can I request a S/o who always puts others before herself and always gets hurt and injured after :3

you're selfless, im selfish

synopsis - you're rather selfless and they hate seeing you get hurt because of this

includes - blade, luocha, aventurine, boothill

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, angstyy, slight blood mentions, wc - 968

a/n: Hellooo! you didn't specify and i am currently on a massive star rail fixation so i hope you don't mind! if you do please let me know and i'll write another!

taglist - @teddirika, @frankiesteinn, @little-miss-chaoss

blade ★↷

↪blade was immortal. he had little care for how many pieces he could be broken down into during a fight as at the end of the day he knew he would still walk away as a blade. weapon's were built to be durable, what kind of 'blade' would he be if he let up at the first sign of danger?

↪he was also used to thinking about nobody but himself, the stellaron hunters became the first exception but he knew they'd be able to take care fo themselves. so it made him suspicious when you'd willingly put him before yourself as what could you possibly gain by doing so?

↪it didn't occur to him just how angry he would get when he watched you get injured for the sake of his safety. not at you despite how much it semed that way. a weapon's job was to protect in a violent manner and his enemies quickly learnt that, especially when his shield would get hurt.

↪he would scold you for throwing yourself into dangerous situations but moved with a gentle contrast as he dressed your wounds. he'd remind you time and time again that he didn't need you to think about his safety, let alone others, and you should worry about yours.

↪but he knew he wouldn't be able to stop you completely and so he would swear that he himself would protect you at all costs despite your insistence of putting him before you.

luocha ★↷

↪despite the coffin that shadowed the merchant, luocha was a healer. someone who followed yaoshi and valued that selfless, healing behaviour and that meant assisting those among the cosmo's in medical affairs for a fair exchange - he was also a wandering merchant afterall

↪he found it rather endearing at first, how you always put those you cared about above yourself. it was rather admirable but he thought less of this trait when it applied to battles. he would prefer you to be selfish and uncaring if it meant you didn't get unnecessarily harmed.

↪especially when it came to you throwing yourself straight into danger for his sake. luocha feared that one day you'd throw yourself into danger for the sake of someone else and he would lose you - he didn't want to carry around two coffins now.

↪he would start subconsciously keeping track of you during dangerous situations, he needed to make sure you didn't do anything too risky. although he didn't mind catering to your injuries, he'd prefer not to stare at his lover's bloody cuts and bruises or whatever injury you accumulated for too long.

↪the merchant may admire that selfless behaviour but allow him to be selfish for once when he places a kiss to your knuckles after dressing your wounds and asking you to stay by his side, to not leave him if he can't get to you in time.

aventurine ★↷

↪aventurine strived to follow the path of preservation, it was a goal of his. achieving this goal was solely for the purpose of protecting his people and those who had helped his journey not hindered it. so when he learnt his original quest was impossible, he needed to strive for something else.

↪he wanted to protect many things and his relationship with you was one of them. at first, he relished in that kindness you showed when you would openly admit or demonstrate how you would always place him above yourself - your selflessness was rather admirable.

↪but he didn't like as much when it meant you'd get hirt in the process. he would not be able to bear losing yet another person he cared about, especially when he had the power to prevent it - especially if you died for him.

↪most of the time, he would be able to prevent you from getting to hurt but crimson was an ugly colour on his lover and he felt a small sense of guilt when he saw it after a fight. you would notice how he'd always be shielding you if you ever threw yourself in danger.

boothill ★↷

↪only two people knew what happened to boothill, himself and the doctor - although some times he didn't think he knew himself. however one thing was clear, he had suffered an amount of pain that pushed his human body to it's limits and bended it to a point of no return. now, he didn't live for himself.

↪recklessness was what probably had landed him in this situation, however when one has a cyborg body how could he not be reckless? he found it rather charming how you always put those close to you above yourself, a noble quality but his perspective changed when he realised just what that meant.

↪he had seen first hand just how little you cared for your safety if it meant protecting someone you cared about. a bittersweet sentiment. it pained his synthetic heart when you would come from a fight all injured and bloody as if it was him in your shoes, he'd be fine. but you had willingly thrown yourself in the way for his safety.

↪he had a metal body, you had a human one - if anything he should be throwing himself in the way as he could be rebuilt. boothill would try so hard to get this message across to you as the last thing he wanted was for you to be pushed to those same limits of pain just for someone who had already been there.

↪he would'nt live for himself but he'd live for you if it meant keeping you safe.

[alllgator-blood]

I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done

my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION

I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut

Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.

here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.

So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.

For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....

I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time

OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard

[lilasamaaa]

The night we met | Lando Norris x Reader

Genre | Fluff.

Word count | 2.6K

Warnings | None for once! Enjoy some peace.....

Author's note | This piece is the result of yesterday's poll! Another poll will be coming soon for y'all to decide what's next :)

"I'm really not sure if it's a good idea, Alice," she sighs, looking over at the bed where her friend is seated, behind her.

"What makes you say that?" Alice replies, arching an eyebrow.

"I have a list of reasons, actually," she states, pulling out her phone.

"You and your damn lists!"

"I know you hate them, but they help me clear my mind," she says, clicking on a note.

"Alright, let's hear your reasons then," Alice laughs. "But I'm warning you, I'm going to dismantle them one by one."

"Okay," she starts. "Reason one is : I don't know him."

"That's kinda... the whole point of blind dates," her friend says, rolling her eyes.

"Well, you agreed to this. I did not. You know how anxious I get when I don't know people," she says, head low.

"Lando is a really nice guy," Alice says, coming close to her friend and stroking her hair. "I just know he'll put you at ease right away."

She takes a few seconds to think, biting the inside of her cheek. It's not the first time she's about to go on a date with someone she's never met before. Even though she doesn't know him, she's not really worried about Lando. She's more concerned about herself, to be honest. She's not a model of eloquence, doesn't consider herself particularly pretty. She's sure her date will do his best. What she's not sure about, is if she'll be able to overcome her own anxiety about the whole situation.

"Reason two, then," she says, focusing back on the note. "I don't know a thing about racing. What are we even going to talk about?"

"Well, something else. I'm sure Lando would be delighted to talk about something other than work for once," Alice replies, winking.

She wasn't lying, she thinks. She really has an answer for everything.

"Shoot me with reason three, baby," Alice says, letting out a laugh.

"Reason three," she replies, eyeing her friend. "Let's say I don't fuck up, which would be a miracle in itself, and we hit it off. How am I supposed to maintain a long-distance relationship? We're not talking about Brighton or Cambridge, we're talking about another continent. Several times a year."

"Well, I'm glad you're thinking so much ahead," Alice replies, earning a frustrated grunt from her friend. "There'll be plenty of people who are in the same situation as you. You can always ask for advice from other WAGS," she concludes, laughing.

"You're insufferable."

"Was there a fourth reason to debunk, or are we done here?" Alice asks.

"There is, actually. That's the last one," she says, staring at her phone. "Every time I've gone on a date like this, without having seen the guy... They were never really... to my taste," she begins. "So I've never kissed them, never went any further. But if I like him, what am I supposed to do?"

"What's the real question?"

"Am I supposed to kiss him on the first date? I don't want him to think I'm easy. Is it better to play hard to get and..."

"Wow, you're overthinking this," Alice says, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I don't have any answer to give you. Just... Go with the flow. And if you're not sure about what to do, let him take the lead. Okay?"

An hour later, she's walking through the streets of Bristol, trying to calm her breathing, her thoughts, her already racing heart. She's checked the address Lando had sent her about ten times before leaving Alice's apartment. On principle, she takes out her phone, checking one last time. Her phone indicates that the restaurant is less than a minute's walk away, at the corner of the street she's on. There's still time to turn back, she thinks, before gathering herself. No. He doesn't deserve that.

In front of the restaurant, she casts a quick glance inside, checking if he's already there, before remembering that she doesn't even know what he looks like. Well, she has a vague idea. She's seen pictures on Alice's Facebook and Instagram over the years, but his precise features escape her. She remembers curly hair, beauty spots. Not much more. She's not sure if she would recognize him in a crowd.

She pushes the door and slips inside the buzzing restaurant, politely greeting the waitress who welcomes her.

"I have a reservation for two," she says. "The name's Norris."

"Ah yes, he's already here, in the second room. I'll take you to him," the waitress replies, flashing a smile.

Her heart stops. He's already here? She deliberately arrived fifteen minutes early to have time to settle down quietly, to gather herself. To wash her hands if they're too sweaty. This was not how it was supposed to go at all, she thinks, feeling the anxiety rise.

The waitress guides her through the tables to the small room at the back of the restaurant. On the way, her brain disconnects, giving way to total panic. I knew it was a bad idea, she tells herself, biting her lip. I'm going to make a fool of myself. The waitress suddenly stops, saying something that her brain doesn't comprehend before walking away and she looks up, meeting his gaze.

Oh, wow, she thinks, eyes widening. That man is too handsome for his own good.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you" he says, extending a bouquet of white tulips to her. "Alice said those were your favorites."

She smiles, taking the bouquet before burying her nose in it. Alice, you little sneak.

"Thank you so much," she replies, feeling her cheeks flush. "They're stunning."

Lando pulls out her chair before sitting back down, not taking his eyes off her. Feeling his gaze on her, she dives intensely into reading the menu. Or rather, she pretends to, because she's not even reading, just trying to avoid the attention the driver is giving her.

"You seem nervous," he states, still looking at her.

Feeling her cheeks turn red, she holds her menu higher in front of her face, hiding a little more. "Hey," he says, putting his finger on the menu to lower it. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just really bad at this," she replies, finally looking at him. "Dates, conversations, one-on-ones. It's not about you, I swear."

There we go, she thinks, head low. We've been sitting for ten minutes and I've already messed everything up.

"Would you like to go somewhere else?" he asks, and she looks up, furrowing her brows.

"What?"

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, that wasn't the intention," he says. "A romantic dinner may be a bit much for a first date. So, if you want to go somewhere else, do something else, it's not a problem."

"But... We're already sitting," she says, confused.

"It's no big deal," he replies, shrugging. "The restaurant is packed, they won't go bankrupt because we leave. We can just tell them we don't like anything on the menu."

She lets out a laugh, covering her mouth, astonished by the driver's suggestion.

"If you could go anywhere, a place where you feel comfortable and safe, where would you go?" he asks, his big eyes detailing her.

She thinks for a moment, looking upwards, biting her lip again.

"If we really had no limits... I'd go to the sea," she replies, thoughtful.

"Let's go then," Lando says, rising up and taking his jacket.

"What? Lando, we can't do that," she says, still sitting. "The good beaches are like, an hour drive away."

But Lando has already circled the table, jacket in hand, extending his hand to her.

"My car's parked outside," he replies.

She doesn't understand what's happening, so for once, she sets aside her brain and listens to her heart, grasping his hand and allowing him to guide her towards the restaurant's exit, the driver only stopping to explain briefly to the very understanding waitress that an emergency has come up and they have to leave, carefully slipping several bills in her hand as a tip - and as compensation.

Outside, Lando leads her to his car, their hands still intertwined, her heels clicking on the cobblestones. He opens the door for her and she slips inside, her heart racing.

"I've never done anything like this in my entire life," she says, staring straight ahead.

"You should never force yourself to do something you don't want to do, though," he replies, looking through the rear window to reverse, leaning indirectly towards her. His scent reaches her nose and she can't help but look at him closely, detailing every detail of his profile. His clear eyes. His beauty spots that remind her of constellations. The curly lock of hair that crosses his forehead.

"Does Ogmore work for you?" he asks, snapping her out of her reverie.

"Ogmore's perfect," she replies, eyes glistening.

They set off, and as the English countryside landscape passes by through the window, she notices that for the first time since she left Alice's apartment, she isn't feeling anxious. Her heart still beats just as fast, sure, but she suspects it's not really because of stress anymore. Lando rummages between their seats and eventually pulls out a cable, which he hands to her.

"I don't mind driving, but you're the DJ," he says, laughing. "Put on some music. Let me know who you are."

She grabs the cable before connecting it to her phone, scrolling through her Spotify playlist. So you want to know who I am, huh? she thinks, blushing again, before clicking on her favorite song.

The first notes of "I'm Outta Time" by Oasis resonate in the car, and Lando shoots her a surprised look.

"I actually love that song," he says, smirking. "What does it tell about you?"

"Well," she starts. "As you must be starting to suspect, I strongly identify with the idea that the sea is the only place that manages to calm me down, where I truly feel free."

"I'm with you on that one," he replies.

"And then... It's quite personal, but to me, the song's about someone who's lonely. Someone seeking comfort, a pillar, someone who can support them through everything. But also someone they'd be willing to let go out of love."

Lando turns his head towards her, and she gets lost in the softness and understanding reflected in his eyes. The song comes to an end, and she clicks on "On Melancholy Hill" by Gorillaz.

"I promise I'm not depressed," she says, meeting his gaze, while he lets out a laugh.

"This one's talking about the sea, again," he states.

"There's that," she says. "And there's this dreamy feeling. It's about frustration, about pressuring yourself to achieve big things, when maybe..." she stops for a second. "Maybe just being with your person is enough. Maybe there's no need for more," she finishes, looking out the window, troubled by the feeling of having said too much.

"I get it," he says, still looking at the road ahead.

"You do?" she asks.

"Of course. I'm not the last one to have dreams and goals, as you can imagine. But at the end of the day, when all that's over, what's left? What do you turn to?"

The rest of the journey goes on in the same way. She plays a song, explains why she likes it, what it makes her feel, what it reminds her of. Lando listens attentively, interweaving her narrative with his own anecdotes, sharing his thoughts, his fears. That's much more intimate than a restaurant, she thinks. But somehow, she doesn't mind.

Forty minutes later, a sign indicates that Ogmore is the next exit, and Lando turns onto the narrow road, which soon becomes a path. They leave the car in a parking lot, where only a few cars are parked before embarking on the sandy trail. Before them, the sun has begun to set, tinting the sky with orange, pink, and violet hues.

"Just in time," Lando says before plopping down on the sand. She sits beside him, closing her eyes. Absorbing the healing sound of the waves.

"Thank you so much for this, Lando. You have no idea how much it means to me," she says, feeling emotional.

They both lie there, side by side, without saying a word, lulled by the sound of the waves.

"Do you remember the night we met?" Lando suddenly asks, looking at the sky and the stars that the onset of night begins to reveal.

"What do you mean?" she asks, turning on her side to look at him.

"It was last year," Lando starts, as she furrows her brows, completely lost.

"I'm not sure I understand," she replies, confused. "I've seen you in pictures... But this is the first time we meet."

"Alice's birthday, in London," the driver specifies, and she dives into her thoughts, trying to rewind time. "You were wearing a black dress. Backless."

"I... I remember the birthday, and the dress," she begins. "But I don't remember you. Well, I remember Alice saying you had something come up," she continues, lost.

"I had a work function, couldn't get away. But I still stopped by, dropped off Alice's gift," he explains.

"I'm sorry, Lando," she says, embarrassed. "I don't remember seeing you."

"We crossed paths in one of the hallways of the bar. You were leaning against a wall, talking to someone... Jeff? Greg?" he says, closing his eyes as if trying to remember.

"Jeff? My boyfriend at the time?"

"Yes, that was him. You two were arguing about something, I can't remember what. The tone started to escalate, and you walked off towards the restroom."

"I remember that."

"I found myself in front of Jeff, and I told him, "You shouldn't argue with a pretty girl like that. She deserves better". He told me to fuck off, to mind my business, and left," he recalls, laughing.

"Wow, I had no idea," she says. "Him and I broke up like, four months after that anyway."

"I know. Alice told me."

"Why would she tell you that? It must not be of much interest to you."

"I'd mentioned to her that I found you beautiful. In fact, to be honest, I think I said you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen," the driver says. "So one morning, she texted me. Said something like... "She broke up with Jeff. Time to grow a pair."

"Wow," she says, laughing in shock. "I didn’t know that."

Silence falls. Neither speaks for several seconds. He, wondering if he's said too much. Her, wondering what she should conclude from the driver's words.

"So..." she starts. "When Alice told me that she had planned a blind date..."

"It was my idea," he says, meeting her eyes. "But we couldn't say that."

"Oh, my god," she says, laughing again. "I can't believe you two."

A particularly turbulent wave crashes at their feet, making them yelp and quickly stand up. They're suddenly face to face. Wrapped in a heavy silence. One that cannot last.

"So you did, then," she finally says.

"What?"

"You grew a pair," she replies as he bursts out laughing.

"You're not angry at me, are you?" he asks, taking a step forward.

"I'm... quite surprised, I won't lie. But I'm not angry, no. I've never had a first date like this," she confesses. "I've never felt so listened to, so understood... In so little time. It started off badly, and yet you... you made me feel like I could be myself."

"You can," Lando says, taking her hand. "That's all I want."

"Will you think I'm moving too fast if I kiss you?" she suddenly asks.

"No," he says, coming closer until their breaths meet. "I won't."

[fieldofdaisiies]

Broken Crown

pairing: Eris Vanserra x reader | type: angsty | words: 3,3k words | warnings: topics like pregnancy and kidnapping someone while pregnant are discussed as well as bad family relationships; based on this request

“Share your worries with me, my love.” Your hand tenderly caresses his arm, feeling his tense muscles beneath the tips of your fingers. “You shouldn’t carry the burden of them all alone.”

Eris‘ shoulders rise and fall with a deep inhale, and slowly he turns his head to you. There is a small, sad smile on his lips. His eyes close, and you can see the pain, the worry, etched upon his face.

His hand lifts and comes to rest on the barely-there bump of your belly. “I worry about you, my love,” he says, his voice nothing more than a whisper. “This,” —he flexes his fingers, before softly pressing down just the tiniest bit— “put you in more danger than you can ever imagine.”

Your hand folds over his. “I know that it could get dangerous.” You sit up in bed and Eris‘ hand falls to your thigh. “But only if Beron finds out. We will be careful, we have been careful for so long. He won’t know.”

Eris wants to believe you. He desperately does, but it is so damn hard. You are his mate and in your womb you carry his child. There is nothing but worry in his mind, his whole body in a constant state of fear for you two.

“And even if he found out, I could always run and escape and you would protect me.” You lean into him and rest your head on his shoulder. “Don‘t worry so much, my mate, and rather enjoys these fleeting moments we can share.” Turning your head a little, you kiss his arm. “We only have this time together, please, try to make the best of it.”

Eris sighs, but silently agrees and lies down in bed with you, his arm curled around you, his other hand once again resting on your belly, thumb stroking idly over your belly. Your shirt has risen a bit, and Eris used the chance to place his palm right on top of your skin, his warmth the most soothing thing to exist in this world.

“I can’t wait for Beron to be gone and for us to be able to love each other openly.” He turns his face to you and kisses your brow. “And I cannot wait to watch our little babe grow up. I know they will be as beautiful as their mother.”

“And their father,” you chime in and a small grin appears on your lips. Your mate chuckles and it makes his chest vibrate beneath you. 

He holds you for the rest of the night, always close, always tight. You know he doesn’t sleep. No for a single moment. Eris often finds it hard to fall asleep, or to sleep through or to feel enough at ease to entertain the thought of sleep.

In your early face of seeing each other he has slept well, telling you you brought him enough comfort to do so. It all changed when the mating bond snapped, and especially when you got pregnant. He hasn’t had a moment of rest since then, you think. And that hurts you, and you also feel guilty.

————————

The moment Eris leaves your secret meeting place in the morning, he covers her scent. Beron can’t be able to detect anything. To make sure you are safe, he also strengthens the shield he has put over you, covering both your pregnancy and any kind of small ounce of Eris‘ scent that should cling to you.

He smooths a hand over his long hair and i hales deeply, worry and uncertainty making his chest feel a little too tight. 

With a heavy heart, he returns to the First House, not able to meet his father’s gaze while they eat dinner in silence.

“Where have you been all night?” Beron asks and in the corner of his eye, Eris‘ notices how his mother‘s posture stuffs, her fingers curling tightly around her fork.

“Out.” Eris is tight, and quick. Maybe a tang too quick. 

Beron drops his fork with a snarl. “I have noticed as much. But where exactly have you been.”

Eris swallows thickly, the piece of meat he has just eaten almost getting stuck in his throat. Taking a gulp of water, he clears his throat. “I checked on the war camp—”

“Which one?”

“Thundercliff.”

Beron dips his chin to his chest and forks a piece of potatoes, chewing it with his mouth half open. “What did you want there?”

“See if everything was alright.”

“You slept there?”

Eris nods. “I did.”

Beron says nothing, only turns his attention back to his plate.

For the rest of the dinner, his father doesn’t talk to him anymore, or care about him, too focused on his food to even deign his son another glance.

Or so Eris thinks…

—————————

Two days have passed and Eris is sitting on needles. His fingers nervously drum an unsteady rhythm on his knee, his chest rising and falling with deep intakes of air.

You are always on time. You have not once been late in all the time you have known each other. Where the hell are you now?

His heartbeat picks up, the organ now hammering against his ribs. Eris feels how dread coils within him.

Where could you be?

Of course worry kicks in immediately, a myriad of thoughts bubbling up about something awful having happened to you. Maybe you were caught, maybe some medical issues, maybe Beron—

He won’t allow his thoughts to go there. There probably is a good explanation for why you are late. Maybe you got held up, maybe you weren’t feeling too, maybe you simply forgot.

Eris lets himself fall back onto the bed, groaning loudly. His heart is still racing, his skin clammy with cold sweat, fear and panic curling around his heart like a vice. 

He could go looking for you, but worries that would only get you into more danger. He can’t go home to you — no one knows about your relationship. If the heir to the Autumn Court would suddenly show up at your home, word would spread quickly and this would end fataö for you. He can’t risk it.

All he can do is wait. And hope. Hope that you will arrive shortly and that you are unharmed.

It is what he does — waiting, while being plagued by thoughts and ideas of all the terrible things that could have happened to you.

He needs to find you, his father and the people who gossip about you two be damned. 

Eris waits a moment longer, really making sure you are not arriving and by the time he gives up, the sun has already set behind the horizon, the Autumn Court now bathed in endless darkness.

Eris heads back home with a heavy heart, always on the look-out to catch sight of you, a trace or some hint of your whereabouts.

He needs to get his hound, give them your trace, and then let them help him find you. 

In moments like these, he wishes he wouldn’t have had to glamour the bond. He could simply tug at it and be led to you — but he can’t. Not with the magic he used to cover any small hint of it.

It would make things so much easier, but Eris knows that life isn’t easy for him, and has never been. That is not how it is supposed to be, his life was never meant to be simple — his fate was doomed the moment he was born.

Breathing heavily and with his heart hurting painfully,, Eris eventually returns to the Forest House after waiting for hours. If he doesn’t hear from you until the morning, he will go look, no matter the consequences.

The door falls shut behind him with a loud thump. It doesn’t startle him, he is too wrapped up in his worries to even notice. 

But one person in the Forest House does definitely notice.

“Eris!” Beron’s low voice hollows through the empty, cold corridors and it sends a shiver down the heir‘s spine — Beton is enraged, Eris can hear that in his voice.

His eyes close and he doesn’t want to move forward, already having an inkling of what might expect him and he could never accept it. 

If something happened to you, he would forever blame himself. And if you…the Mother forbid — he isn’t able to finish his thought. But without you in his life, he wouldn’t want to live on. He couldn’t do so. His heart would be in pieces, nothing but bloody, broken shards.

“Father,” he says and bows his head low, after the whole way to the end of the corridor where Beron‘s office is situated, has become a blur.

Slowly, the High Lord lifts his gaze from the table and a viscous grin splits his dry lips.

“Such a pretty little thing you have found yourself,” he drawls. “But she is nothing more than pretty and unfortunately lower fae.” 

Eris fingers curl towards his palms while his whole body feels like caving in, his heart cracking open.

“Nothing more than a piece of trash — in other words, scum. And I won‘t allow my sons to fool around with that kind of fae, hasn’t the thing with Lucien taught you anything?”

“What did you do?” Eris shouts and panic rolls through him.

“I took care of her so you wouldn’t have to bother with her any longer.”

He didn’t kill her, that is for sure, Eris still feels the bond. But Beron touched her, hurt her and he will pay for that. 

“You hurt her!” Eris spits, a fury coats his insides, making him see red.

“I am not such a cruel beast, since she finds herself with a…child I didn’t touch her. Mostly. And I assume it's yours?” Beron raises a brow, but gives Eris no chance to say anything as the answer is clear as water anyway. “Matters will take care of themselves though and neither of them will be a problem for you in the future — not the slut, nor the little bastard..” A sadistic smile replaces the former expression on his face.

Eris would kill him straightaway, but he needs Beton to tell him where you are. He can’t find you otherwise and you would…

“Where is she?” Eris dashes to Beron’s desk, his hands slamming down on the wooden surfaces. “You will tell me where she is! I demand it!”

Eris once again tugs at the bond but gets no answer. Nothing but cool silence from your side. You are surely hidden somewhere by Beron’s magic, somewhere where Eris will never be able to find you without Beron telling him. It could take days, weeks, months and that is too long. Too dangerous.

“Tell me!” he shouts again when Beton says nothing.

Beron tips his head back and roars with laughter. Once calm again, he says, “You demand it? As much as I remember I am the High Lord and your nothing more than a little—”

“I invoke the Blood Duel.” He is driven by fury and fear — a lethal combination.

The temperature in the room drops at least ten degrees and outside thunder strikes. Never in the history of the Autumn Court has ever a son invoked a Blood Duel against their father, and certainly not against the High Lord. This is about to change now.

“You are a fool, Eris Vanserra, think about the consequences.”

“I invoked the Blood Duel — you and me, a battle to death.” Eris straightens his posture, staring down at his father who is still sitting at his desk, now stiff as a pole. Eris is sure a flicker of hesitation and maybe also fear passes over his father‘s face, knowing what his son is capable of.

Slowly, a smirk spreads over Beron’s face and he reaches his hand out. “I accept.”

—————

The sun has barely risen, only merely peeking forward from behind thick clouds in the sky, bathing the Autumn Court forest in a soft yellowish glow.

Eris takes the last sip from his small flask when a knock sounds on his door. He places the small bottle down, and smoothes his hands down his jacket and his breeches.

“Lord Eris, it’s time,” a sentry calls.

“Coming!” the heir answers. His hand grasps his knife, the one made by Nesta Archeron, tightly and then he sets out.

Everything is going to change today if he is leaving this duel as its victor. The whole fate of the Autumn Court lies in his hands now. Beron has to fall, Eris has to win. When it is over he will find you, save you and proclaim you as his mate in front of all the Autumn Court. He will be the High Lord and you his High Lady.

The moment he steps outside, and the cool morning air greets him, he can hear hollowing and cheering — not for him, but for his father who is probably already strutting around the place where the duel will take place like a proud peacock.

Eris feels a knot tightening in his stomach, his heart almost pounding out if his chest. It is not the wish of becoming High Lord that drives him forward, but the fear about what happened to you and your whereabouts. He doesn’t care about anything else, he only needs to find you. And having to kill his own father…not an easy task, but one that needs to be taken earlier or later anyway. One he is willing to take for you.

Blood is thicker than water, is the saying. But you are his mate, and nothing is stronger than that.

Eris feels his throat tightening with anxiety, but drawing in a few deep inhales, he manages to calm himself a little and then moves into the glade, the open space for the duel, around which many Autumn Court citizens are already gathered.

“Father!” he greets, and can see the colour visibly drain from Beron‘s face when the High Lord turns to him. Beron had most definitely thought Eris would put his tail between his legs and would not show up.

But Eris Vanserra is no coward. And he will win this today. For you and the future of this court.

And so he mounts his horse, lance in one hand, shield in the other, and enters into a duel of life and death. And that against his own father.

Beron lands the first strike, but other than a small gash, his attack doesn’t do much harm. Very much to the High Lord’s surprise, Eris thinks, because he knows exactly that Beron dipped his lance in faebane, playing unfairly. 

He can’t see his father’s face behind the bronze helmet but he knows confusion is etched upon his face. 

Eris was smarter, he took the antidote against faebane before entering into this duel, already knowing his father’s foul tricks.

Beron lands the second strike as well. But then it is Eris' turn. He lands the third, the fourth and the fifth and when lifts his lance a sixth time, Beron slides off his horse, slumping to the ground. 

Eris dismounts his own horse, stalking towards where his father is lying on the ground, not lifeless but something close to this state. Eris stares down at him and slowly Beron’s eyes open in disgust.

“I take this as you give in?” Eris points the tip of his sword that he has pulled out from the leather strap around his waist at his father. He can’t take a risk now.

“You should be dead by now.” His lips part in a snarl.

“Well, as you can see, I am not.” Eris knows that the crowd gathered around them is holding its breath. This is a monumental event — a duel that decides over the future of this court and who the next High Lord will be.

The answer is simple: Eris. He won the duel. Beron lost.

“But…” Blood starts to spill from Beron’s mouth when he begins to shake his head. “The—”

“The faeban?” Eris raises a brow. “I knew you wouldn’t play fair, father. I took the antidote just in case.” Now Eris is the one grinning. He quickly tips his head at two warriors, signaling them to pick up his father. They follow his order, probably having already noticed the shift in power.

“I won’t do you the honour of making this quick. You deserve to rot in the dungeons for all you've done to me, to mother and my brothers.” Eris sheaths his sword with a loud rasps. Then he steps into his father, now held up by two warriors, and presses his forehead against his father’s. “And now, as your High Lord, I demand you tell me where my mate is!”

—————

“Darling!” Carefully, Eris lifts you into his arms and cradles you tightly. Your body immediately reacts to him, and you feel yourself relaxing. All is good now, and you are safe.

Your mate is here, and all is good although you notice a shift in power.

Eris‘ heart is hammering so rapidly, you can feel it through his body. He is out of breath, and crying and holds onto you as if his own life depends on it.

This is the moment where you realise that your life means more to him than his own and a sob parts your lips, tears spilling down your cheeks.

“You found me,” you cry, and brush your palm up his chest, resting it on his shoulder. “You came to find me.”

“You are my mate, my love, I would always find you.” He leans in, resting his forehead against yours. “I would cross the seven seas for you, climb every mountain and fight every imaginable beast. You are my mate I would conquer Hel itself for you.”

His lips brush yours in a light kiss, and tears start to spill from your eyes. You blink rapidly, when you notice light at the end of the endless and dark corridor and there is also—

Cheering and barking, loud chatter and laughter fill the air around you when you step outside the place you have been trapped in.

You don’t understand, but Eris is quick to offer an explanation that would pull the rug from under your feet if you were standing. It leaves you speechless, your mouth wide open in surprise, but it is pride and utter love that outrules all the other emotions.

“I am the new High Lord of this court, and from now on a better time will begin. I will rule with understanding and respect for my loyal subjects, alongside my High Lady and wife.” 

He kisses your brow and then grins at the cheering mass of people gathered, their joy tangible in the air. And so is Eris — his heart, your hand resting atop his chest, beating steadily and happily within his chest.

His High Lady!

——————

The first thing after his first official announcement as High Lord is that Eris summons six healers to check on you. You are trying to tell him that one is enough, but Eris doesn’t want to hear any of it.

He stays while they check on you and the baby, always observing them with an eagle’s gaze until the relief comes and you are told that both you and the babe are fine and no damage has been done to either of you.

“It’s all going to be good now,” Etis mumbles, leaning his head against yours that is resting on his shoulder.

“High Lord and Lady.” You beam, and turn your head making Eris lift his own. You lock eyes with him and then kiss him. “I love you, my High Lord.“

“I love you more, my High Lady.”

tags: @sunshinebingo @tarataraaaa  @brekkershadowsinger @azriels-mate123 @mandziaaa  @cosmic-whispers @mali22 @elsie-bells @imma-too-many-fandoms @kuraikei @ginnyweasley06  @bubnix  @powerfulpantera @secret-third-thing

[sunderwight]

Imagining a scenario where Shen Qingqiu clocks some of the lingering tension between the peak lords and Luo Binghe after they get married, and so looks up what all the rights & privileges of a peak lord's spouse are (because really only the ascetic peak has restrictions against marriage), and then just like. Heaps them onto Binghe.

Fine robes and ornaments in Qing Jing's style. A title. Appropriate authority over Shen Qingqiu's disciples and junior sect siblings. Technically Binghe is also entitled to use of his own residence, and there's a building on the peak that is at least nominally reserved for the peak lord's wife, but it hasn't been used in a long time and Binghe would cry if Shen Qingqiu even suggested living in separate buildings (and Shen Qingqiu would also not like it but shhh). So he doesn't get that, exactly, but Shen Qingqiu does have the building freshened up and aired out as a place where Binghe can house guests from the demon realms, or potentially his own personal disciples (should he desire to take any on one day).

Binghe accompanies Shen Qingqiu to peak lord meetings in his capacity as husband, rather than disciple, which means Binghe also gets to sit at the table instead of standing behind Shen Qingqiu's seat.

But really just, Shen Qingqiu making a point of doing everything extremely officially to really drive home that he married Binghe, and he expects Binghe to be treated with respect and not suspicion or derision or any of the other bad habits that his fellow peak lords have displayed. Not just with Binghe, but also towards the original goods in the past (SJ might have been a piece of work, but the fact also remains that most of what his sect siblings thought of him was inaccurate). SQQ scraping up every bit of political acumen he can find from all the books he read and PIDW itself and his own history as the son of a wealthy family, and being like, "if I don't want Binghe to be bullied, I must make it clear that he has my favor!"

Meanwhile everyone already knows Luo Binghe is Shen Qingqiu's favorite, like man they know it so much already, more than they'd like to, but it's not like they can SAY anything because actually putting the right hair ornament onto Luo Binghe's head and making the disciples address him as Shimu is in fact more appropriate than all the other ways Shen Qingqiu displayed his favoritism so far. It's just driving several of the other peak lords slowly insane because it's backwards! The order of things is all messed up! Shen Qingqiu can't truly expect them to start respecting this disgraceful mess of a relationship now, can he?!

Of course he can. Also Yue Qingyuan is backing him up. (Yue Qingyuan actually finds this kind of amusing, because it's very on-brand for both versions of Shen Qingqiu to get embroiled in a controversial mess only to retroactively go "oh yeah, respectability politics are a thing" and then just try and brazenly bluff his way through it.)

Meanwhile Binghe is very much enjoying himself. Could he stop anyone in the sect from actually mistreating him in a heartbeat? Of course. He could kill any of them, they all know it, and Binghe is not unaware of how to leverage that kind of fear into compliance, if not respect. But then he'd have to go stalking around being tyrannical all the time, and he does that enough as the demon emperor.

It's far more enriching to let people be rude to him and then hang his head and "nobly endure" the mistreatment, just to watch Shen Qingqiu's eyes narrow and his fan snap shut before he lets out some cutting remark and then lavishes another sign of his favor onto Luo Binghe. Binghe's wildest teenage fantasies were made of this stuff! He's living the dream!

[dabislittlemouse]

“𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐦𝐞…”

Part 2 | Dabi x fem!Reader

CW: yandere themes, some mentions of noncon, gaslighting, manipulation, kidnapping, complicated feelings, stockholm syndrome

SYNOPSIS: you are finally saved from the hands of your captor, who was now locked up, far away from you. But to this day, the memory of him still haunts you in your dreams, still so present in your life, still reminding you that you are his girl.

A/N: here the reader finally decides to read Dabi’s letters, we’re taking it slow guys ;)

Part 1 | REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!

Your hands rummaged through the mailbox to grab the letters that were sent from Tartarus. You stared at the envelopes, your chest suddenly feeling tight, for a second you were about to change your mind and throw them away. Though you felt something gnawing inside of you, the guilt and fear of ignoring Dabi, you felt like you were still obliged to him even if he was now locked away, technically out of your life. You must read those letters and you must reply back. You wouldn’t want to anger him would you?

“You know what happens when you make me mad..” Dabi would whisper in your ear, grabbing your wrist tightly. “Don’t get out of my eyesight, I won’t repeat myself twice.”

You vividly remember how that day he had taken you to the shopping mall, wanting to spoil you with nice things since you’d been so good to him lately. Though as you would go through the aisles, staring in awe at the variety of clothes and cute things you could buy, you forgot that you had separated from Dabi, when he had clearly told you not to go too far and wait for him.

“Shall I put ya on a leash and drag you around for you to finally understand?” he scoffed.

“I’m sorry” you mumbled. “I won’t walk away again”

First thing you would always do was apologize of course, because you knew how far Dabi would go. If he said something, he would actually do it. And you didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his heinous acts. You remembered how tense you felt, if you had run away and called for help back then, would someone have helped you?

“No” Dabi’s voice echoed in your head. “They would ignore your pleas, leave you there to die, thinking that some righteous hero will come to save you soon. But they don’t care. This is what society has become, rotten to the core.”

This was what he was fighting against, to burn down the whole system, take down the corrupted heroes, and he would passionately talk about it with you, making you part of his bright future.

You shook your head off the thoughts taking over your mind, and opened the envelopes, grabbing the one of the letters.

“My pretty girl,

wonderin’ what you might be doing right in this moment as I write this. Have you been good? Are you inside your little apartment, watching those favorite TV shows of yours? Or are you outside, going to places that I don’t know of? Meeting new people, having fun and all that? Trying to create a new life after our separation, trying to fit back into society…

I bet you are. I wonder how that is going~

As for me, I am sitting here, losing count of days while being surrounded by these four walls 24/7. Kinda boring to be honest, nothin’ much happenin’ around here. You are all I think of baby, and the remains of your pretty face in my memories. My hands are itching to just grab at it and kiss it just how it deserves to be kissed. I gotta admit, this punishment is much worse than being locked up, it hurts a lot baby. Knowing that all this time you haven’t bothered to check on me once…damn, it really hurts a lot~

You like hurting me though don’t cha? I guess it’s fair, knowing the ways I’ve hurt you and marked your body all over. But you know that it was all out of love, right? That’s how I like to express it, just imagining what a piece of art your body looked like whenever you ended up on my hands baby..

Fuck it- even now as I think about it I’m aching, and your pretty mouth, that soft tongue could be the only solution to my problems~

Do you realise how much I crave you? Physically and mentally, look what you do to me princess. And the more you ignore me, the less that fire goes away. I guess distance strengthens relationships don’t you agree? I wonder how you’ve been feeling lately, do you miss me? Just a little bit? I bet ya do~

I miss you a lot. Terribly. I ain’t good with words so that’s how much I can express it. Y’know I’m mostly a man of actions, words don’t do it for me.

You can ignore me all you want, I won’t stop writing you. I know one day you will be sitting down to read these letters, because I know you feel the same fire inside of you that only I ignited. We are made for each other, you are just meant to be mine, never think otherwise.

Waiting patiently for a letter back. Make sure to put something in your envelope as well. A recent picture of you, your perfume, or maybe something else, y’know it~

Yours only,

Dabi.

For a while you stared into nothingness, only the sound of your heartbeats in your ears. The letter was clutched tightly on your hands.

“Fuck..” you whispered, before letting out a breathy laugh. You continued laughing to yourself, all while your eyes filled with tears. You weren’t sure if those tears were tears of anger, sadness, hopelessness, fear, love, maybe altogether.

You were terrified, that was certain. Terrified that he still hasn’t forgotten about you, nor given up on you. Terrified that he still thought that this fucked up relationship was true love, despite all the suffering you endured. Through all those sentences and words, you could feel as if Dabi was right in front of you, you could even hear his voice reading the letter for you. It’s like he had possessed you, like a demon that took place in your body and mind forever.

“This isn’t love..” you mumbled. “This is not love, this is NOT LOVE!”

You screamed at the letter, throwing it away.

“I hate you!” you finally burst into tears. “Why can’t you leave my life?! Why, why, why?!”

Why do I miss you like this?

Have you become addicted to the hurt and pain? Or maybe the way he would hold you close and kiss you and worship you right after he completely broke you, maybe you got addicted to that. You could only imagine his reaction if he knew what you’re feeling.

“Told ya so” he would say with a cocky smirk on his face and his cerulean eyes glaring at you hungrily. “Me and you are meant to be”

The rest of the letters pretty much held the same content, though the more he wrote, the filthier he got. It was clear that he craved you badly, as he sat there alone in the prison cell. You squeezed your thighs shut, swallowing nervously while your body remembered the feeling of his cock thrusting in and out of you, always hitting that one special spot deep inside of you and making you see stars.

Apart from everything, Dabi was sexually frustrated. Hands just weren’t enough for the job, they could never replace the way your wet cunt wrapped so nicely around his aching cock. He was getting off on memories, every day and every night, bringing back on his mind the ways he would take you, softly or roughly, just as he pleased. He loved the way you screamed and cried and begged for him to stop, he got addicted to it, nothing and nobody else could even get him hard anymore.

“Do you still get wet for me baby?” Dabi wrote in one of the letters. “Do you play with yourself late at night while remembering the way I ate that pretty pussy of yours, slurping every remaining juice, licking that sweet clit.. I almost drool as I think about your flavor, need to quench my thirst so bad. Just need to dive in between those plush thighs of yours and devour you all damn night, until it gets too much and you start crying. And even then I won’t stop, cause y’know hearing you cry just gets me off real nice. Yeah I am sadistic like that, you already know it baby. And yet you like me just the way I am, you always feel that thrill, I can tell by the way your pussy fluttered each time I got my hands and fingers on it, each time I left marks on you, my little painslut”

Dabi was sure he had turned you into his little masochist, he trained you to cum only when he inflicted pain on you, and the pleasure mixing with it sent you over the edge.

You took all the letters and made sure to get rid of them, burning all of them until they were nothing but ashes. Though the words written in them never burned away, they planted themselves deep inside of you, not leaving your mind for the rest of the day. As the days went by, you decided to distract yourself as best as you could. Meeting your old friend, going out for a walk, going shopping, karaoke nights, watching movies, going for a drink, you name it. And yet you couldn’t shake off the feeling of emptiness, that in some fucked up way only that monster could fill. How could you be so terrified of someone and yet so addicted at the same time? You were sure it would pass as time went by, but it never did. Your body still held the memories of the past, the nasty burn marks were there, probably would stay there forever too. For some reason you found comfort at the old memories, at the old feelings, the abuse had become a familiar thing to you, and you wanted familiar. The outside world and its people, no matter how much you tried to fit in, it was all foreign, unfamiliar, you didn’t belong there.

You belonged to him only.

“Face your fears” someone used to say. “Once you bravely face your fears, they won’t haunt you anymore. Make it known that you don’t submit to them anymore, they don’t affect you anymore, they don’t scare you. And it will all go away”

Should you face Dabi? Should you tell him right to his face that things between you and him have ended forever, that you now are living a good life, happy, away from him? Would that be a lie? Yes.

“I don’t like it when you lie to me” Dabi used to say. “I can tell when you’re lying baby.. I hate liars”

***

“Two more weeks” the guard said, not turning to look at the prisoner. “The boss said we are at the last steps of preparation. We will finally get you out of here, sir”

Dabi nodded, exhaling the smoke of cigarette. “I am a patient man”

The guard continued. “One of our men informed me that the girl had called the prison yesterday, asking how the visiting hours worked in here”

Dabi quirked a brow, slowly turning his head towards the guard outside of his door. A grin creeped up his face, his eyes widening in pure thrill. “Is that so? Haa, m’getting excited now, seems like the little angel indeed misses me a lot”

He stood up, heading towards the door and peeking through the small window.

“Let me know as soon as she decides to come and visit. Must look decent in front of ‘er”

The guard chuckled.

“Of course, sir”

🏷️ tags: @hunajan @touyalove @murderous-snail @syrenkitsune @baby-tini

[yandere-sins]

Guard #500

a/n: It's been a hot minute but I just got this idea for our beloved prince so I just went for it. Hopefully it comes across as fun as I had while writing it ♥

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Pairings: Yandere!Guard!Malleus Draconia x AFAB!Reader Warnings: Yandere, Sexual Content (Malleus eating out reader, Mentioning of a one-night-stand), Abuse of authority, Manipulation, Mentioning of Reader unintentionally cutting on a knife (but no further actions in that regard), Mentioning of knifes/assassination/dead/dying, Slightly unhinged behavior from the Yandere, Slightly gorey description, Long Post

[Prison Project Introduction & How to request | Pinterest Moodboard]

There was something especially cruel about having your failure rubbed into your face.

He didn't even need to say anything, much less move. It was enough for your former target to stand outside your cell, unfortunately, alive and well, taunting you with his silence. Malleus Draconia was probably the most feared name one could hear when you were sent to prison for your crimes. And the more grave your crime was, the more you had to fear him.

"It doesn't suit you," he finally said after staring at you for a long time. 

The two other guards at his side eyed him, confused about his statement. You stopped pretending to read your book, an activity you abandoned the moment he stepped up to your cell. Your mind was too nervous to concentrate on the words, but even so, you had the desire to pretend he wasn't there, hoping he'd leave.

"I don't know much about fashion—I should ask Schoenheit about that," he directed the last few words at his fellow officers rather than you. "But orange doesn't seem to suit you."

"Unfortunately," you sighed, pretending not to have a nervous tension all throughout you just from speaking in his presence. "The dress you saw me in last was just too pretty for prison."

"Unfortunate, indeed."

More silence, and you finally put down the book, looking up at him. You held no personal grudge against the man. He hadn't done anything to you yet. It had been a failed assassination, one you had been paid for and which would give you a nice retirement once you got out. Some guy stuck in this prison with you wanted him dead, hired you, and now the biggest blow was that to your ego. 

Malleus Draconia, however, still sent shivers down your spine.

He had that authoritarian aura around him and the piercing green eyes to match. When your gaze met his across the dancefloor of his private estate, you had felt your heart miss out a beat, your body tensing, trying to decide whether to run or approach. Something about him just drew you in, magically even. And at the same time, you felt like prey even though you were hunting him. It had been him who had walked up to you first, asked for a dance, and you foolishly agreed, letting him sweep you over the floor and into his bedroom like a fool. You could have killed him there, easily, and disappeared into the night, never to be seen again. 

But you couldn't. Not when he looked at you with the adoration of a lover. He was a rare jewel you could never possess, but you seemed to be the treasure of a lifetime in his eyes. 

Never before had you let anyone deter you from your goals. Becoming an assassin hadn't been an easy task, betrayel your every-day business. You took advantage of your victims for as long as you needed, and then you stabbed them in the back, not caring if they knew it was you, cursing you with their dying breaths. But you did it well. Discreet and highly compensated, you thought that was all that mattered at the end of the day.

So why did the memory of that night still heat up your face?

You wanted to appear cool and unbothered by him now that you two were locked in this prison together. But how could you when you still remembered the dragging of his fingertips along your skin? The reverent way he parted your legs to fit himself between them, like the missing piece of a puzzle. 

How could you forget the way his scent drafted all around you? His sheets, his hair, his body rubbing against yours, melting you into a malleable silhouette of passion and desire. If you took off your clothes, it was most likely you'd still find a hickey or lovebite left behind in the moments of pure lust, and when you touched yourself at night, you still imagined his image that of a slightly disheveled god looking down on you with the mercy and the grace of a servant. 

At this point, you thought you saw Malleus' smile widen as if he could read your thoughts. Perhaps you never had the kind of pokerface you thought you did. But one way or another, he seemed to know exactly what you were thinking of, even if just because he was thinking of it, too. 

"I liked you so much better, draped in my green sheets. But that's nothing that can't be arranged even now. I look forward to your next attempt, little assassin."

He left, appearing pleased with himself, to the absolute horror of you and the two other guards, who took a double take at their superior before shooting you dirty glances. That's right, you thought, almost wanting to say out loud, "I fucked your great Malleus Draconia."

But you didn't. Instead, you shrugged, feigning your return to read your book nonchalantly as if nothing that happened was a big deal. You had no beef with them, and trying to hide your embarrassment by sticking your nose in your book was better than letting them see how failure raked its claws over your back.

It felt almost the same as how Malleus had done it. 

"Is this-- this even allowed?"

Your head fell back the moment you uttered your momentary concerns. Driving your fingers through the silky black hair, Malleus' eyes shot upwards, the green ever so piercing. However, instead of the fight and flight from before, now, the only thing it caused inside you was desire. 

Everything about him was so regal, from how he knelt on only one knee beneath you, to how supportive his shoulder was to your leg draped over it. His hands were buried in your hips, enough to keep you steady but also to direct you exactly where he needed you to be. You were a helpless mess, whining when he pulled his tongue torturously slowly out of your cunt, and you bit your lip when he licked over his, your slick making them shine like some kind of fruity gloss. 

"Do you not like it?" he murmured from between your legs, taking another full drag through your folds as if he was licking the spoon after eating a delicious dessert. "I suppose it hardly measures up to the splendor outside this prison, but I hope you can appreciate my gift to you."

"All I did was get beaten up by my employee, and you gift me a whole-ass cell for myself, prettied up to make it look like your room?"

You weren't sure whether to freak out or to laugh. Not having to share the public amenities and a room with three other stinky inmates was undoubtedly a welcome gift. Still, you were hardly deserving of it after trying to kill the man who presented you with it now. 

"I'm still sorry about that; I should have come earlier," his gaze dropped, the light diminishing as he looked at your stomach. The bruise wasn't forming yet, but you knew it would come sooner than later. Even if you trained yourself to be a better assassin, you weren't immune to damage. 

"But I promise to make up for it."

His eyes darted back to meet yours. Gone was the moment of regret; now, all that you saw before they lidded in the process of staying true to his words, was determination. 

You felt his tongue slide back over your clit, the unnatural longness of it wrapping briefly around the nub before he began to suck. There must have been a world record somewhere for getting Malleus Draconia to eat you out, but he, surprisingly, proved to wear the badge of honor when it came to servicing someone. 

It was wrong, but it felt so good.

Biting your finger, you held back the moans as you felt him probe at your entrance again. However, another uncomfortable thought crossed your mind, and as you pulled the finger from between your teeth, Malleus entered you, slipping right along your walls and making you buckle over.

You were glad for him supporting your body, feeling as if you might collapse there and then. "W-What about the others?" you stuttered, unable to shake the feeling even though his actions were very much shaking you. "What will they think if they hear us?"

"Let 'em," Malleus muttered against your pussy, not sounding so dignified with his tongue inside you. "They can 'now who you belon' to."

"Sir!" you gasped, only to let a loud moan escape. It was hard enough to keep up with your worries while your inside clenched around his tongue as if your life depended on it—although he seemed to not mind it in the least. Still, you didn't want to hear dirty talk from someone who was supposed to hate you more than anyone else. And although you felt a real orgasm build, hard and fast, you couldn't shake the embarrassment of being paraded to his goons.

"W-Wait, stop!"

God, you hated yourself. You were so close.

However, Malleus complied. Immediately, all movements ceased, and he looked back up at you, expecting your next command. You were troubled with catching your breath first, but eventually, you shook your head, and you felt the drag of his tongue as it pulled out—not without its tip going left and right, mind you, tasting as much as it could. 

"You've done—ngh!—done enough. I appreciate it, really. But I can't accept this—any of it! I just... I can't. This has to stop."

Malleus stayed silent, gazing at you with a mix of disappointment and, what you could only describe, defiant refusal. "We will not," he finally concluded, and you gave him a confused look as he gently dropped your leg to the side so you could stand on it again before getting up. 

"Is this not exciting for you? Have I been neglecting your needs? Given how... wet you are, I thought I was going in the right direction, but I can improve my technique if you give me pointers."

"W-What? No! It was fine—great! You were doing everything right, it's just..." Your shoulders sacked as you gestured around the room. "I shouldn't be rewarded like this for trying to kill you. Look, I have nothing against you personally. It was just a job. And what we had was great, but it wasn't that good for you to treat me like this. I mean, shouldn't you hate me? Why are you doing this?"

To your complete bafflement, Malleus chuckled while you were getting worked up about the weird circumstances you two were in.

"Hate you? How could I? You led me right to the people who wanted me dead in the first place. I recognize your role as a pawn in the scheme, but is that it? Do you think this to be boring, now that it is just between you and me? Do you miss the excitement of getting a job done?"

Turning sharply on his heels, every one of his moves so deliberate yet fluid, he stepped over to a small box on the table, opening it and taking something out of it. Turning towards you again, he only needed to snap it open to reveal the sharp, silver blade of a knife that you thought must have definitely been illegal to be brought into this prison.

"I thought of this, too, you see. That you might need some more excitement. So, here."

Taking your hand in his, he placed the cold jack knife in your hand, directing its tip towards him. When you looked up at him in shock, you could hardly figure out what he was thinking. You thought yourself good at reading expressions and little signs, but with Malleus' formal training, it was hard to make anything out. With the eyes of madness and the smile of adoration on his face, you couldn't make out a single thought in that head of his. 

"Go on, do it. Stab me, cut me, rip me open if you must. Make a mess of my body. And then let me return to where I belong, at your feet, between your legs. Let me nourish on your juices so it may be the last taste on my lips before I perish. And when I am down there, please use me for your desires so you might remember me fondly as well."

"You're crazy," you muttered, doing the only right thing you could in this situation—pulling the knife back to the point you cut yourself before throwing it to the ground so he would stop almost piercing himself on it. 

"Hm, crazy," he pondered, nodding his head thoughtfully. Even in the face of this situation, with his eyes closed, his face serene as a moonlit night, and his hair ever so slightly disheveled from you meddling with it before, he seemed completely composed. He looked nothing but otherworldly, as if he shouldn't be walking among humans but belonged to the creatures written in books. It was unnerving, just like his words. 

Malleus could have had anyone. Surely people would line up to just awe at him for a split second. They'd pay more than you could ever earn in your measly life just to be regarded by him once. Yet, he choose the assassin who wanted to murder him. Who failed yet helped him. You thought you'd eventually meet your employer now that you were in the same prison and get a reminder not to speak of who hired you. You didn't know Malleus would be watching, being able to figure out who wanted him dead just by observing you. 

And because of this, and perhaps the fling you two had on the night of his assassination attempt, he'd come to want you.

"Perhaps I am "crazy". It doesn't feel bad," he admitted, opening his eyes again to look at you. Nothing of the unreadable curse you saw before remained in his gaze. Only pure, unfiltered adoration now filled it. He looked at you like only someone madly in love could. You never thought someone could ever look this way at you, and if not for the nagging fight or flight instinct returning to the forefront of your mind, it almost pulled at your heartstrings.

But before you could react, he leaned forward, picking you up. You squeaked as he lifted you high in the air, your legs wrapping around his torso instinctively. He walked as if you weighed nothing, carefree and playful, tilting his head to nib at your hand that was gripping his uniform jacket before mending the agitation on your skin with a few pecks of his lips.

You eyed the door, waging your options. If you hammered against it, screaming for help, the two guards Malleus left in front of it might think he's in trouble and come in, even though he ordered them to stay outside. Something felt terribly off with this man you once thought to be this elegant, otherworldly prince who could do no wrong. You thought he joined the side of justice to keep up his image, but the amount of mercy he was showing you and only you bordered on selfishness.

It would be better to leave before it was too late. You shouldn't humor a beast that seemed to be starving, fixating itself on the only prey that had no choice but to obey when it was in a helpless position. 

"Crazy or not, stabbing me or not. Either way, let's return to the matter at hand: you didn't cum yet, did you? However am I going to deal with it if my darling is dissatisfied with me?"

In a swooshing motion, you were thrown forward, falling right on your back, only to be caught in softness and comfort. The mattress of the bed he provided you with molded to your body, the pillows and sheets guaranteeing you a good night's sleep on imaginary clouds. And even better support for other activities.

"And just so you know..." Malleus added, climbing on top of you, straightening his back only to pull off his jacket before he hovered closer than ever to you. As if he had to completely erase any distance keeping him from you, his body sticking against yours like a magnet. He was mesmerizingly pretty and you still couldn't believe what he was doing. All of this was wrong, and some feral instincts from a century ago feared he'd rip out your throat as he buried his face beneath your chin, kissing along your neck. 

"I soundproofed the room but I plan to let everyone hear us."

You gulped, and he chuckled, involuntarily feeling the movement press against his lips. 

"You already belong to me," he stated matter-of-factly as his face popped up in front of yours again. You looked at the door once more, fearing it was too late. You were trapped, caught like a princess by the dragon, but there was no knight in shining armor to save you. 

"And I'll prove it to everyone and you if I must."

[justagalwhowrites]

Gurll, lavender is my go-to reread everytime. Ig u are taking requests (😂🫶🏻), I would really like to see how Joel found out Doc was pregnant of Sylvie and those sweet pregnancy exchanges - like him being worried (‘cause in the original we skip the whole pregnancy). 😎

OMG Hi Bestie!!!

So you'll see some of this in Girl Dad, a canon one shot I did for Doc's birthday back in October. You see some of Doc panicking about Sylvie on her birthday because she's never made it further in a pregnancy and her birthday has just such an awful personal history for her and Joel loves her through it. We also see Joel being just a precious father to his newest baby girl.

BUT... here's some more of the pregnancy for you ❤️

Expecting

20 years after your first pregnancy, you find yourself expecting again. Things are a bit different this time. A Lavender Drabble.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader from Lavender

Warnings: Pregnancy. Smut adjacent. No use of y/n. 18+ only Minors DNI

Length: 2k

September 2, 2024

The first time you threw up, Joel was on patrol.

It's not like you'd gotten your period since the two of you had started trying but you didn't put much stock in that. You'd never been regular and you were nearing menopause now. Missing a period or two was hardly monumental.

But the nausea the morning you woke up alone was.

You rocketed to the bathroom, doubling over the toilet, everything left in you from the night before coming up.

"Shit," you whispered, wiping your mouth on the back of your hand as your stomach still churned.

You knew this feeling. It had been a long time but you knew it.

And you knew you should be happy about it. It wasn't like last time. You and Joel were together now. Not just together, you were married. Things were secure - as secure as they could be in the apocalypse, anyway - and you were trying for this.

But it was still the apocalypse.

It was no small part of you that thought this wasn't going to happen. That you were going to try and try and then menopause would kick in and you'd never have a child you made with Joel. You'd resigned yourself to that a long time ago, that you'd never be a mother to someone that grew inside of you, never raise someone that you'd brought into being through love. You had Ellie who was your child in every way that mattered and that was more than enough.

But you were pregnant. You were sure of it. And you should have been happy about that - thrilled, in fact. Part of you was. The rest of you was terrified.

What had you been thinking? Bringing a child into this destroyed world? Would Joel even still want this now that it was real and not some imagined, idealized thing on the distant horizon? How were you supposed to protect a baby from the horrors of this reality? Even here in Jackson there was fear and risk and you'd gone and done this on purpose.

You didn't tell anyone, though the nurses at the clinic could tell you were off all day. You assured them that you were fine while trying not to panic. What if Joel changed his mind? What if, when faced with the reality of it, he didn't want to bring a baby into this world?

You threw up again that afternoon, the sickening feeling hanging around after everything came back up and you tried not to cry.

Joel got home after Ellie was already in bed that night, his patrol keeping him out late. You were pacing the kitchen when you heard the front door open and close quietly, the squeak of the floorboards under his heavy boots.

"Baby?" He frowned poking his head into the kitchen. "What're you still doin' up, it's late..."

"I know," you smiled a little, looking him up and down and taking stock to make sure he was still in one piece. "I'm glad you're back."

He smiled back, coming all the way into the kitchen to take you in his arms and kiss you, gentle and deep.

"You and me both," he said. "Gettin' too old to be sleeping rough like that, feel like I did my time with that shit getting out here..."

You laughed a little and nuzzled into him, breathing in the sweaty, woodsy scent of him.

"What's wrong, baby," he whispered, his arms enveloping you totally, holding you against him. "Can tell you got somethin' on that big brain of yours."

You pulled back from him just enough to see his face, his arms still holding you loosely. His face was smeared with dirt, the grime of the trail and sweat on his skin and his eyes were soft and warm and like home.

"I'm pregnant," you said softly. Those eyes got wider. "I know we've been trying but... It's real now and..."

"You're pregnant?" He breathed, stepping back from you, his hands going to your shoulders. You nodded, tears stinging the corners of your eyes. "Oh Baby..."

He took your face in his hands and kissed you again, so hard you could taste the passion on his tongue.

"Really?" He asked, his eyes searching yours as he pulled back from you and taking your shoulders again. You just nodded again, your heart pounding. "Fuck, that's... that's amazing, we're gonna... Baby, you're pregnant!"

"Yeah," you laughed a little. "Yeah, I am... You're happy?"

"Happy?" He laughed back. "Baby, I'm... I'm so far beyond fuckin' happy that word don't even begin to cover it."

He got to his knees in front of you, his hands on your hips, sliding around to cradle the small of your back as he looked lovingly at your stomach.

"You're pregnant," he said, awed, almost to himself. He pressed a kiss to you, over your womb, before one of his hands came to hold you reverently there. "Our baby is in you, right now."

"Yeah," you smiled, voice wet. "Yeah, they are."

"That's amazing," he whispered before looking up at you. "You're amazing, you're the most amazing thing I've ever seen..."

You ran your fingers through his curls before cupping his cheek.

"Thank you," you said, your whole being feeling lighter now, knowing that he was really in this with you.

"For what?" He asked, getting to his feet and pulling you against him again. "You're the one doin' all the work."

You smiled a little.

"For wanting this with me," you said quietly. "I was afraid... I'm still afraid. But we can do this."

"We can do this," he echoed you, kissing your temple. "You, me, Ellie, this baby. We're a family. We can do this."

You put a palm over your womb again, cradling where the child you'd made with Joel was growing inside you.

He was right. You could do this.

But things were different after that.

Joel hovered. It reminded you a bit of when he first came to the QZ, back when he thought his fear was something he could push past if he just got close enough. You’d be working at the clinic, turn around to pick something up and then Joel would be there. You’d be relaxing on the couch and decide you needed a cup of water and, the second you started to move, he was up instead asking what you needed.

“I’m perfectly capable of getting my own drink, you know,” you said a two months after you’d told him you were pregnant and Joel had damn near held you down instead of letting you go to the kitchen. “Also capable of walking to the mess hall on my own, making my own lunches…”

“All the work you’re doin’ growing my baby, I should do something,” he replied, bringing you a glass of water. “Seems like this is the least of it.”

You might have believed him if it wasn’t for the other things, too.

You’d become insatiable during pregnancy, all but demanding sex at least once if not twice a day. You couldn’t get enough of Joel but he seemed to be able to get enough of you.

It was close to Christmas when you finally brought it up, Joel’s hands more gently roaming over your skin rather than with any desire or need.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not interested, you know,” you said, hoping you didn’t sound too desperate.

Joel frowned, looking over your face for a moment.

“What?” He sounded completely puzzled. “Why would I not be interested?”

“I know I look different now,” you ran a hand over your growing bump and took a deep breath. “It’s OK if you’re not as attracted to me at the moment…”

“In what fuckin’ universe am I not attracted to you?” He asked, his eyebrows knitting together. “Baby, if I could spend the rest of my damn life inside you, I’d be a happy man.”

Your confusion must have shown because he brushed your hair back before adjusting your face to look at him.

“What’s goin’ on,” he asked gently. “Why are you saying this stuff.”

“You don’t touch me like you used to,” you said quietly, hoping you didn’t sound too wounded by it. “And it’s OK if you don’t want me like that right now, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t really want and…”

“Baby,” he cut you off. “I’m gonna stop you right there. I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted you more than I do right now. Not when I first met you and you were some hot young thing, not when you first got off the plane to come visit, not when I first saw you again in the QZ. Seeing you grow our baby is the most beautiful, most sexy thing in the damn world, don’t go thinking otherwise.”

“Oh,” you frowned. “Then… I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

“I just…” he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before looking at you again, a pained look on his face. “I’m scared, baby. I’m scared in a way I ain’t been since we came to Jackson.”

“Joel,” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. “We’re OK here, we’re safe here…”

“I know,” he said. “You’re safe from infected and you’re safe from raiders but… baby, what if you get hurt? You’re the doctor here, what if something happens to you or the baby? What if there isn’t someone who knows how to save you? What if I do somethin’ to you on accident, what if I’m too rough because I’m caught up in touching you the way I want? I can’t risk that, baby, I can’t.”

“Oh Joel,” you breathed, pressing yourself closer. “You’re not going to hurt us. I promise, you’ve never been too rough with me. If something doesn’t feel right I’ll tell you but it’s OK. We’re safe. You’re safe.” You guided his hand to your breast, his large palm curving around the soft flesh. “And I want you to touch me, really touch me. Please.”

He was cautious at first, hesitant. Now that you knew he was afraid, it was easier to see it on his face and feel it in his touch. But you guided him through it, holding his hand, reassuring him, until he was lost in you and things felt right for the first time in months.

You learned how to head things off after that. When he would appear in the clinic, you would give him a kiss and tell him how you were feeling. If the baby was moving, you’d guide his hand to your stomach to let him feel them alive inside you. When you needed something at home and could see that he was restless and distracted by worry, you’d ask him for help. You started meeting him at the gates after patrol so he could see you and touch you as soon as he was back, feeling how he relaxed when his hands were on you.

When you went into labor, though, you were worried. You knew he was afraid but then, so were you. You were afraid not just of what could happen, of how it would hurt under the best of circumstances, but of how to help Joel through it, too.

But he sensed what you were doing right away, so in tune with you now. He climbed into the bed behind you, pulling you back so your head was resting on his chest.

“Don’t you dare worry about me,” he said, kissing the crown of your head. “I’ve got you, baby. Got both of you.”

You smiled a little as the contraction eased and he held you a little tighter.

“I know you do,” you relaxed into the firm, strong body of your husband. “I know.”

[nexility-sims]

𝐍𝐎. 𝟕   ❛ 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 ❜   |   AUGUST 1991

❧  𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲  /  𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠  /  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  /  𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭.

Trish Fitzpatrick wore many hats, but her favorite was “freelance journalist.” Her area of expertise grew directly out of myriad side gigs: what she called portrait pieces of interesting people. Outlets clamored for them—or, they had since she’d buttered up famous, neurotic opera singer-turned-starlet Prudence Boone into revealing she had a glass eye, a secret runaway daughter, and a hair-eating habit. Of course, Prudence was basically a stranger. They had once had a fifteen minute conversation on the deck of a yacht, bonding over the fact that neither actually knew to whom the vessel belonged. Prudence thought Trish’s outlandish suggestions were funny enough to remember her when she called to pitch the piece. It had gone the same way with Renzo. Of course, they had met while fighting over a scarf in a vintage clothing store. Trish considered letting him win to be a debt, one for which she would demand recompense at the ideal time. Opportunities passed, and then August 1991 proved to be the time.

❧ i got the irresistible urge to do renzo backstory, which was meant to be an outtake, but then i was like, "uh, no, this totally works as story proper if i put leonor in it," so here we are ! context and such. given the amount of work, this might be my magnum opus until further notice ... it was also just fun to do :^) checked off the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll boxes ?? where's my prize. in conclusion, i love my white boy of the week or whatever

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭 ↓

I grew up in a tiny town—Petunia. Petunia? You say it differently. It’s the country coming out, I guess. Not “pee-tyoon-ee-ah,” it’s “puh-toon-yuh.” Petunia. That’s it. So, how was it? Fond memories? In retrospect, maybe. I wanted to get the hell out of there from day one. What I remember is being very unhappy—dispositionally sullen, not just a pouty kid, but fully down and out. Born that way, probably. And your parents? My parents … Life had the upper hand, man. They were good at losing. I didn’t want that life.

My dad professed to be a traveling salesman—What, he wasn’t? I mean, he didn’t know jack shit about vacuums or whatever the fuck. I don’t know. But, he wasn’t around a lot, it sounds like? Gone for weeks at a time. Just me and my mom. How was she? Not really there either. When I got home from school, she’d pop her pills and be gone until morning. She wasn’t avoiding me; she was avoiding life. She did what she had to do in the mornings—you know, I had what I needed, the bare essentials—but she was checked out. You had a lot of unsupervised time, then. Oh, did I. Too much. I mean, I had books to read, and I got into music early—From her? No. My dad’d blow into town and bring pity gifts. Not kid-appropriate shit, now that I think about it. Heavy, gritty stories. A guitar I was too little to use. Flip lighter. But, you know, I was a kid. I wanted to run and play with everyone else, too. Of course.

Here’s the thing: it was hard to be a scrawny kid named Lorencio in Petunia. Shit, I can imagine. What was that like? … Hard, like I said. Well—Details? I got the shit kicked out of me. Regularly. What do they call it—um—“school of hard knocks”? Yeah. I remember, one time, I limped home on a Saturday. Mom was out of it, but she leapt up when she saw all the blood. Cleaned me up. It’s like I’m there now—in that bathroom with the dirty tile, her burning me with peroxide … She didn’t really talk, you know, not in a serious way? But she did then? She said, in Uspanian, “‘Don’t roll over for anyone.’” Interesting. So, that’s the lesson? Part of it. I realized that summer it didn’t matter if you were scrawny, if you talked funny, if you were poor. What mattered was not being a pussy. [Laughs] Oh, yeah? If you want credibility, if you want respect, sometimes you gotta be able to take a beating. Don’t roll over. That’s right.

I think it also helped when the growth spurt hit. You must’ve still been scrawny. [Laughs] String bean. So it goes. Adolescence . Now, you grew up fast, is what I’ve heard. You could say that. My life changed when Marty got out of lock-up—Sorry, what?—for “teen offenders”; he set his grandparents’ car on fire—oh, I see, regular kid shit—Uh huh. We hit it off. He introduced me to other guys, including Jesse. They’d huff gas together. Oh my God. Not whippits? Sure, but less convenient. That’s—No good, yeah. Fun though. Have you—? I’ve tried everything, Patricia.

Jesus! So, Marty and Jesse…? We got on like a house fire. [Groans] They were into petty crime for the thrill of it—Now, Renzo, is arson petty? He did it one fucking time. Everyone overreacted. They got into trouble for fun, and for you it was—? Money. Not a lot. I was too dumb to consider the risks. But, you did other things for money, too? Don’t say it like that. I wasn’t hooking. [Snorts] I worked a lot. I was cutting school to work, getting paid under the table, all of that. Maybe—hear me out—some of it was thrilling for you, too? I won’t tell anyone. [Chuckles] What can I say? Credibility.

I feel like I’m mischaracterizing … I love Marty and Jesse, to this day. Jesse’s daughter is your godchild, right? Yeah. Marty went back to Petunia in … ‘88? Jesse and I had better luck, or maybe we were just more desperate. Either way, my point is that delinquents get a bad rap—With good reason! Sure, okay. Both of them were deeper and more complicated than that. You’re not an outlier. No. We’re a dime a dozen. No one gives them the chances you got. Uh huh. So, we bonded over that—feeling down and out, like I said, but also the fact that we loved music. Marty’s family had money, so they’d bought him a nice bass guitar. But, Jesse’s mind … He’s so fucking creative. He wasn’t a reader, but I could tell him about something I’d been chewing on, and he’d have a song inspired by it within the hour. He has an incredible voice, too. He does.

I guess it’s not surprising that you guys did what you did. There was nothing for us at home, you know? Packing up and heading out west didn’t feel like a risk. And your mom understood that? Better than anyone. I know people judged her—shit, I judge her, too—but I always knew she was trying. That’s sweet. Is it? I mean, I think so … She met my dad at a bus stop three weeks after she arrived in the country and made the mistake of getting off at his stop. That’s it. That was her crime. Well, I’m sure she’s doing better now, huh? She lives in a nicer house in a nicer city, but that doesn’t cure depression, now does it? I suppose not. There was this woman whose lawn I’d cut all the time … A real bitch, but she was extra nice because she felt bad for me. Hated my mother. I think she was just jealous because my dad was her high school sweetheart. Isn’t that just how it goes? Damn foreigner stealing a real catch from her. [Scoffs] Sticky fingers when she invited me inside for lemonade—cigs and quarters from her purse, Valium from the cabinet, that kind of thing. [Laughs] Casual. It was pretty brazen, honestly. Fucking dumb kid.

Alright, so, you come out here with Marty and Jesse to make music, and now you’re a serious actor with a name and a big career ahead of you. How’d that happen? It was completely accidental. While we waited for a record deal, I did odd jobs, like auto work—you know, in a body shop. It was decent. Had you worked on cars before that? So, I got familiar, uh … [Chuckles] We’ve established I was a rascal. We could get under the hood of a parked car and make a few dollars off parts. I can get you in so much trouble, Renzo! [Laughs]

Don’t tell anyone, come on! I was a kid. Have a heart. I guess it paid off. But, alright, body work? What’s the connection? It’s kind of convoluted. When business was slow, the guy I worked for loaned his employees out to another mechanic. This guy, long story short, brought me along to assist him on a movie set. I guess he was a known quantity? Everyone knows the right guy! That’s everyone’s explanation for where they end up. Me, too. Uh huh. I don’t know why they let me do it, but—Somehow it worked out. Yeah, it did. Right place, right time.

You’re in the spot. How did you get into it, though? This is embarrassing as hell but, fuck it, I’ll be honest. Please. Don’t stop now. [Chuckles] I got a shot because I’d been chatting up this girl who, as it turns out, was the director’s kid—or, in fact, she approached me. I had no idea who she was or why she was there. Of course she did! That’s not surprising, is it? I think I was the most disinterested person there. I don’t know. Anyway, we talked a couple times, then—out of the blue—someone asked me if I wanted to hop into a scene, say a line, ten seconds flat. She did that for you? I don’t know what she did. No one mentioned her. Maybe she thought you looked like a movie star. [Snorts] Fuck. I hope not. Did you want to do it? I wanted to make music. I wanted to finish reading my book. I wanted … I mean, I said yeah. Can’t decline that. Makes a good story, right? What happened with her—? Oh, hell. Sorry! Moving on, for now. [Groans]

I got a call several weeks later about an audition. How did that feel? Bizarre. We’d done a demo for a producer once, but this was different. Were you excited? I was terrified. But, I went. Didn’t get that part, although everyone was perfectly nice to me. How disappointing. You always remember your first … But, hey, you have to look at it this way: I didn’t want to be an actor. I thought it was cool, but it felt like … ? Go ahead, give me a good metaphor. Like when you’ve been craving your favorite food, but then someone offers you a helping of something different, new, appetizing. How’s that? Passable. C-plus. [Laughs] Fuck you, Pat.

Okay, so the road didn’t end there. No, it didn’t. I got another call, and that one went well. This was for … Sugar Sweet? That’s the one. Cornball, but I love that movie. Never seen it. What! How is that possible? You were in it. You went to the premiere screening. There are pictures. Saw my first scene, excused myself to go piss, didn’t come back until the applause had started. Wow. Everyone has opinions about that movie these days—very contentious, whether or not Alicia was in the wrong when she left me and stole my lifelong dream. What do you think? Me, Renzo? Good for her. I thought it was kind of bitchy. It’s peculiar how many women say that. I wonder why … ! Billy’s so dreamy. Please, ask me about something else, Pat. So, this romantic comedy is your launching pad. It leads to the television show. The television show blows up immediately. Walk me through what that felt like?

Also terrifying. I really cannot emphasize enough that I didn’t want attention. I wanted money and time to support my music, and acting seemed like a good way to do that. Just didn’t account for the side effects. Like fame? Uh huh. I was a nobody in Sugar Sweet, and the pay was shit, but it felt like a miraculously good deal at the time. What it did is put me in the running for more serious work. I think, even then, sometimes the casting folks were hesitant to take a risk on someone with no experience whatsoever, even if they had—A spark? Talent? Sure. It was unsettling, the idea that I was some kind of “natural,” and I compensated by working really hard. Well, you’ve established yourself as a hard worker. Sure. I guess they saw that—the improvement, in addition to the fact that I had a resume to speak of by then. Or, eh, they saw that you were pretty. Right, of course, you don’t need talent if you have Teen Mag’s favorite cheekbones. [Snickers] I joined a cast with other people who had very little experience, and we bonded over that. I just didn’t expect to be … What, the center of attention? That, yeah.

You know what’s fucking weird? Huh? Signing your name on a picture of your own face that belongs to someone else. That they’re going to take it home and pin it to their fucking wall or frame it on their bedside table. Someone’s kid treating you like their school crush, blushing and shit while they’re asking for you to do it. That does seem like a strange experience. Over and over again. Teenyboppers, goddamn. You were in the magazines for them. I read a couple interviews. No the fuck I was not. I did not do those. No? What they do is take quotes from actual, consented conversations and stitch them together for their own use. It’s legal. That’s fascinating. Maybe I should try that. Less work. [Laughs] Yeah, alright, flush your “exclusive access” privilege right down the toilet.

But, look, I’m not disparaging the fans wholesale. That’d be unfair. And, ouch, ungrateful? Yeah. The initial couple years were fucking insane, but I was with people I liked, and a lot of the fans we actually met were … Normal? Uh huh. Not a hysterical, handsy, screaming blob. You got grabbed? Groped, Pat. Oh boy. We don’t like grabass, I guess. Well, hold on now, just not like that—You keep sidetracking me. What kind of interviewer are you? I’m having fun with my buddy! Sue me. [Chuckles] You got it, baby. What was I saying? The fans? Yeah. The ones we met one-on-one were cool, usually. They had deep thoughts about the show, you know? Ideas about the characters, the plots—filled in holes in the shitty writing. No offense to Jack and Reuben, I hope! Don’t print that, Pat.

If I’m being honest, having to answer their questions made me think deeply about the role. That’s stayed with me. I don’t like being walked up on in public, but sometimes it’d go fine. The first time someone came up to me in the wild, her mother looked so fucking apologetic that I decided, “Cool it, don’t be a jackass.” She wanted to talk about the book I was buying. Same thing would happen to Frank, Perry, Vicky. How about the show itself? That was a three year commitment.

It was alright. In retrospect, I understand that television isn’t for respectable actors, which made the transition hard. Harder to have been on a show for teenagers. But, you made that switch in Uspana. So, did that play into the calculus at all? I lucked out, in the sense that the show was co-produced, and I got to do the dubbing for the Uspanian version. I wasn’t a total unknown, even if they thought my Uspanian was shitty. Is it? Losing an accent is hard, in my defense.

When my contract ended, I hit the road. You didn’t think about staying on? I thought about it with horror, yes. [Laughs] You’d keep shit-talking the whole production if I let you. Maybe. So, in Uspana? It was like exhaling for the first time in a while. I did nothing for a couple months. All that hard work, being a beloved TV star … Throw me a bone, Pat. But, anyway, I didn’t even see my mom’s family again for a few weeks—You knew them, though? Yeah, we’d met, during the press trips. Beach life by yourself. Luxury.

You know, I needed to reconnect with myself. That’s how I felt. I felt like I had been an imposter, then I felt like I had to be someone I wasn’t, and now … You could go a different way. A fork in the road, for your career. Your life, really. Right, yeah. I went to Canarís like any good tourist. I had more money than I’d ever had in my life. I had no plans. Sounds like a dream. It was.

Crucially, I was out of my mind most of the time. Kite high. So fucking high. I swear I almost drowned twice, at which point it was politely suggested that I stop using the pool. Did you politely agree? Fuck no. [Laughs] Troublemaking aside, I ended up taking phone calls, making plans with people—Industry people? Yeah. There were people I knew already, but meeting the ones I really wanted to work with happened kind of organically—parties, premieres for other films, cafes. At the Morningstar Cafe in Canarís? Right, exactly. Same way I ended up finding The Den. Someone at the cafe had worked with Karolina Teague, and she took me there one evening after we all got tossed out of some poor son of a bitch’s house. Sounds rowdy. Can’t blame him. It was after midnight. And? Well, it was a lunch that’d started at eleven in the morning, so. [Chuckles]

So, I have a question. You’re pretty consistent—in terms of behavior. “Behavior?” [Snorts] Yeah, okay, I understand. What was that like, with cameras on you? The photographers in Uspana definitely aren’t less aggressive. That’s part of it. I don’t know if I’d call it an epiphany, but I left Canarís for Nakawe with the understanding that I was going to just do what I wanted to do. Oh boy. Within reason, fuck. Reason. Sure, yes. You didn’t feel like a dumb kid anymore. I mean, I guess I have more fun with the camera guys here. They can get away with more, ergo, so can we.

I distinctly recall you got arrested for—I barely touched that guy or his fucking camera. Did him a favor, if I did. Dogshit quality device. [Chuckles] Not sure he saw it that way, but the charges were dropped. I mean, don’t get me wrong, shouldn’t have reacted that way. I kept thinking about my mom seeing those pictures … The one time I got picked up, she backhanded me in the middle of the station, right in front of the cops. Jesus. In the car, she goes, “If you get caught again, I’m going to rip your ears off.” Empty threat, I guess.

The Den—I want to talk about that. Please, let’s. Your first time there? It was with Karolina, like I said, and there was a local band playing that night. They’d wrapped up their set by the time we arrived and were just … jamming on the stage, taking feedback and requests from the people who were still there. Some kind of funky jazz mash-up. I liked it. How did it come to you? It opened in ‘57 as a bar and, at some point, it turned into more of a music venue open to a certain segment of Nakawe. The guy who owned it gave exposure to a lot of people who went on to really do something with their art, and that’s why it ended up being a somewhat exclusive spot. Celebrities already knew it and brought their friends. Uh huh. I could stroll up, and the cameras weren’t with me because they were already there. He got tired of that, I think—He was an older fella, right? Yeah. But, really, he managed other properties, and The Den wasn’t his passion project the way it’s become for me. So, you had the money and took it off his hands.

What goes on in there? [Laughs] Pat, you’ve been inside. Well, not for me! If I’m going to describe it to people who’ll never go inside, what would I say? I mean, it’s a hangout spot. It’s a performance venue. We had, uh, mimes last month. Truly gifted, those people. [Laughs] Really? I don’t come up with all of the ideas myself, but I only agree to the shit I’m interested in. It’s kind of selfish, but I guess I’m lucky to know a lot of people who’ll toss in five dollars to enjoy it. It’s something. Compelling. I mean it. Thanks. That’s not all, though. I mean, you describe it as a “haven.” It’s very private. Some of your regulars are troubled individuals. Damn, Patricia, just say it. I feel like a cop! “Do you condone drug use in your establishment?” nonsense. But, well … I’m not explaining it. Either you—they, whoever the hell—get it or don’t. Come for the music, come to unwind however you like, doesn’t fucking matter to me as long as you’re coming with an invitation. I like to go in the back room, close the door, let the music and noise seep through. Muffled. You don’t really strike me as a partier, frankly. You never have. I wouldn’t argue with that. I like parties, but I don’t need to be at the center. Some do. That’s fine. This place is for us all.

Maybe it works out because of that, that you’re curating this space but not necessarily always in it? What do you mean? Well, you reopened it and then, if memory serves, immediately went off to do a film. The party kept going. You just like to know it’s happening. Alright, sure. That’s true. Knowing it’s there … Yeah. I like it. I was in that back room, thinking about the script, when I decided to do it, actually. Life felt like it was falling into place. It was a good time to take a leap. “’You are going to be a cowboy?’” “’No, I’m going to be a farmer.’” I had that conversation a thousand times. Reporters, man. Hey! Everyone was so surprised. I think they thought the premise was … I don’t know, that it just wasn’t something I would want to do? Or, worse, that the filmmakers wouldn’t want to work with someone like me? Unflattering assumptions, sounds like. Can’t blame them. I had a lot to prove. Still do.

How was six weeks in Texict? Fucking heaven. I loved it. My mother’s from the northwest so, even when I visited family, it wasn’t anywhere close. No reason to visit until we dropped in to do the film. Every day, I woke up happy to be alive. Happy to be doing this job. Gorgeous. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess it wasn’t just the location, was it?

No, you’re right. I felt like I was really acting—for the first time, seriously. Maybe the cast helped? I’d worked with established actors before. The leads in Sugar Sweet were—well, you know who they were. I learned a ton from them. But, yeah, I guess Sasha was the first person I’d worked alongside who had me sweating. Oh? I wanted to impress her so fucking badly. I wanted to keep up, you know? So talented. So raw. She rips every line out of her chest with her bare hands. Bloodbath of emotion. The premise was new, too. Not a lighthearted romance this time. No. We were young parents of a ill child—stressed as fuck, trying to make life work, struggling separately to be together. Can’t lie, I ate that shit up. So did the critics. Hell yeah.

Every nomination felt surreal. The recognition was incredible. Validating. Sasha and some of the others swept up. I was just honored to be up there with them, honestly. Okay, well, let’s talk about Sasha. Do we have to? Yes. Indulge me! [Grumbling] I mean, all I can really say at this point is that I was obsessed, and it wasn’t until it was over that I had the clarity of mind to really wonder, hm, “Was I in love with Sasha, my coworker, or was I in love with Sasha playing Lucy, my wife?” That seems like an occupational hazard. I wouldn’t describe it that way. You take sensitive, delusional, beautiful people, pay them to get vulnerable and intimate with each other … It’s special, even if it’s … Not genuine? No, it is that. It’s not real, but it is genuine. How else can you say, “Well, our schedules don’t line up anymore, but I’ll have this scar of our initials forever?” You do not! No, I don’t. The letter S is really hard to cut without fucking up. Not a sober man’s idea. No.

Since I have you on the topic—hey, no, absolutely not—I’m obligated to ask if there’s anyone in your life right now. How’s that? Women’s magazines can snap this up and stitch it together for themselves. This is a public service. Patricia … Yes, Lorencio?

Look, I know you do your research. I do. I’m very good at it, too. What’s that like, princess pus—Pat. Pat, I’m begging you—Are you obsessed? The letter L is easier, I bet. It is. Would you go with another L or an R?

I’m not talking about this—not for you to print, anyway. Well, talk to me as a friend, then? I’m not just professionally nosy. We’re friends? Who else calls me Pat and gets away with it? You haven’t been Trish in a long time, it’s true … [Sighs] Fuck. Someone can be precious, right? Lovable. You can hold them in your hands and think, “This person matters to me. They’re special. I like to be around them; I like to listen to them; I want their affection.” You can really, genuinely cherish someone.

But? Maybe you find their life to be completely fucking repellent. Unbearable. … Damn.

There’s parallels, though, right? I mean, fame is fame, there’s got to be value in relatability, and—There’s an open mic going on downstairs in the hotel bar right this minute. Let’s take a break, Pat, what do you say? Let’s just go watch some of it. I’ll let you print dick measurements and my deepest, darkest secrets if you say yes. [Laughs] Well, if that’s on the table—

[bestworstcase]

Thanks for your response ala Ruby & Yang, great stuff!

Idle aside, but do you have any thoughts on Yang's role as the sort of black sheep of the family by dint of Raven associations?

Cos like, Tai overtly favors Ruby, projects Raven onto Yang, resents Raven being rough up and is bad enough about reminders of her Yang feels she has to apologize for his negative reactions. Let alone his... Everything else.

Then there's Qrow who doesn't seem to interact with Yang over much at all and one of if not their most major interaction. Involves him straight up saying he thinks she's either a liar hurting people for fun or "crazy".

I recall someone I was chatting with wondering: Imagine doing everything you can to keep your family from breaking apart & being compared to the woman who left you when you were a baby?

Cos I do wonder how Yang feels about all that given she seems to downplay and or try to work around her family's issues when she can. Let alone what it says about the adults in the room.

smth i think about a lot is the way yang’s narrative about her childhood shifts between v2 to v5

’cause in v2 it’s: “it was tough. ruby was really torn up, my dad kind of shut down. it wasn’t long before i learned why…” all to provide context for this anecdote about putting ruby in a wagon and running away to find her mother. and then her conclusion is “my stubbornness should have gotten us killed that night.”

and while there is a degree here of yang framing the story to emphasize the point she wants blake to understand, it’s also very obvious in her delivery that the emotional reality of this memory for yang is “the time my stupidity and stubbornness almost got me and ruby eaten by grimm”—when she was [checks notes] like five, six years old, and regularly left at home unsupervised.

but in v5, it’s: “my mom left me. ruby’s mom left too. tai was always busy with school, and ruby couldn’t even talk yet; i had to pick up the pieces. i had to pick up the pieces. alone.”

aside from the telling slip (tai, not dad)—yang centers her own feelings and the harm this situation did to her this time. which is something she’s always felt but i don’t think she could have brought herself to say it out loud to anyone during the beacon arc, because it was pressed down under the guilt on display in burning the candle, the feeling of having been inadequate and too stubborn and too selfish and and and–

coughs quietly. “my stubbornness should have gotten us killed that night.” / “you were predictable. and… stubborn. and maybe a little boneheaded.” yang’s narrative about the wagon incident—which happened when she was five or six!—pinning the blame on the thing tai imagines to be her fatal flaw is…probably not coincidental. yang in v4 after a year of being loved by her team and supported by mentors like glynda / oobleck / port has the perspective to know that tai doesn’t know what he’s talking about; but as a small child who’d just had a terrifying near-death experience with her baby sister… 😶

it definitely had a big impact on the way yang sees herself

BUT i do read qrow's talk with yang in 3.8 pretty differently ->

because the context is: yang saw mercury attack her and struck back in self defense, then had like a dozen synthetic soldiers point guns in her face, then looked up and saw the replay footage of herself walking over to shoot a boy who was just kneeling on the ground. and some of the most powerful authority figures in the world are pushing this narrative that stress and adrenaline "clouded her judgment."

like this would make anyone doubt their sanity. bc holy shit.

yang, though...a couple weeks ago, yang after being knocked unconscious woke up and blearily saw someone she thought was her mother walk away from her and disappear in a flash of red light. she hasn't mentioned it to anyone, because it's just so bizarre—yang doesn't know about raven's semblance yet—she must have just been seeing things. right?

aside from raven (who isn't here) and yang (who believes she hallucinated), the only other person who knows that yang saw her mom on the train is qrow, because raven told him about it. he also knows that:

tai insisted on not telling yang ANYTHING about her mother, and qrow respected that up until now; so yang doesn't know about raven's semblance and can't make sense of what she saw.

salem's infiltrators are the same people who attacked amber, and qrow didn't get a good look at them because they seemingly vanished into thin air—pretty damn good chance that one of them has a semblance that manipulates what you see.

ozpin wants #2 kept secret, so yang has some very powerful people actively trying to convince her that she's crazy. ironwood is straight up gaslighting her.

qrow also—based on the first thing he says, which is "why'd you do it?"—seems to consider it a possibility that it is what it looked like but yang did have a good reason, and i actually do not think that is an outrageous thing for qrow specifically to think. because qrow was emotionally abused as a child, and he knows yang, and in the event that yang really did suddenly turn around and punch a guy who was kneeling on the ground, why would she do it?

glances at shay d. mann. well. maybe this kid has been harassing her? maybe he said something horrible or threatening to her and in the heat of the moment she just snapped? maybe "he attacked me, i saw him attack me" isn't really a lie per se, she's just scared that "he's been picking on me ever since he got here and he made a disgusting remark and i just couldn't take it anymore" won't be taken seriously? as in, he did attack her—verbally/emotionally.

it's probably worth asking, at least!

so, qrow leads with "why'd you do it?" in case there is some invisible reason justifying the apparent action. yang says "you know why." qrow goes okay, well, i only know what i saw, so you're either lying (i.e., yang had a reason she now isn't telling) or crazy (i.e., yang saw something different from reality that was very real to her).

she says "i'm not lying." qrow believes her: "crazy, got it."

at this point, he knows the most probable explanation is that one of salem's infiltrators fucked with her head. the inner circle's gaslighting doesn't sit right with him; he's not going to buck ozpin by telling her the truth outright, but he wants to make sure yang knows she isn't losing her mind. he also has all the info needed to guess that yang is actually really really scared that she might be crazy.

which is why he kicks off the wall and begins to pace around. the language he uses sounds dismissive, but his tone is mild and his body language implies "let's talk about it, let's figure this out."

leading to:

YANG: Who knows? Maybe I am. QROW: And here I thought your dark-haired friend was the emo one. YANG: I saw my mom. …I- I was in a lot of trouble, took a pretty hard hit. But when I came to, the person attacking me was gone, and I thought I saw… her. Her sword. Like the one in you and dad’s old picture. QROW: You’re not crazy, Yang. That was your mom, alright. Let me guess—she didn’t say a word, did she? YANG: How did you know that? QROW: I don't see my sister very often, but she does try to keep in touch... whenever it suits her. YANG: Wait—you mean you talk to her? That was real!? QROW: Yeah, she found me. Had a tip from my most recent assignment and wanted me to give you a message.

it's really telling that yang responds to him this way. 'cause we've seen how yang acts when she feels dismissed or belittled:

TAI: Well, "normal" is what you make of it. YANG: What is that supposed to mean? Do you want me to just pretend like nothing happened? I lost a part of me. A piece of me is gone. And it's never coming back. TAI: You're right. It's not coming back. But that doesn't have to stop you from becoming who you wanna be. You're Yang Xiao Long, my sunny little dragon. You can do whatever you put your mind to. So whenever you're ready to stop moping, and get back out there? I'll be there for you. YANG: I– I...

she freezes and shuts down! her teachers have to come to her rescue!—but when qrow goes "crazy, got it" and suggests she's being "emo," yang blurts out her big secret. i saw my mom. to me that suggests a level of trust and understanding that isn't there with tai: qrow says stuff like "okay, so you're crazy" and "here i thought your friend was the emo one" but what he means is "hey, i know something's really bugging you, tell me about it," and yang picks up what he's putting down.

it's akin to how ruby goes "did you miss me? DID YOU MISS ME??" and qrow's like "nope" and they both laugh. or the back-and-forth ribbing between him and the girls in 3.4. there's this layer of mild ironic meanness in the way qrow converses with his nieces that all of them are fluent in, and in this scene he's using that mode to signal that "crazy" is not off-limits, that it's okay to talk about openly.

crucially, there's a code-switch in the middle of the conversation: as soon as yang gets real and says "i saw my mom," qrow reflects that seriousness back to her. you're not crazy, that was your mom, she found me afterward and told me about it. it was real. you're okay. qrow's ability to do that—to shift into a more serious mode when irony isn't appropriate—is why yang can have this rapport with him that she doesn't have with tai, because tai isn't... being ironic when he says mean or dismissive things to her.

anyway, qrow passes on raven's terrible message and then kind of annotates it: "raven's got an interesting way of looking at the world that i don't particularly agree with, and she's dangerous." (which is a very diplomatic way of saying he thinks raven is full of shit. lol.) but then he connects this whole conversation about raven back to what happened after the match: "you're a tough egg, kiddo. don't let this tournament thing getcha down. you had a slip-up; sometimes bad things just happen."

implicitly: yang isn't crazy. what she saw on the train was real, a product of raven's personality and her semblance. sometimes bad things just happen. qrow believes that yang had the experience she says she did when she punched mercury. he doesn't know why she had that experience—yang doesn't either!—but he knows she isn't just "crazy." sometimes things that seem crazy are actually real.

remember what he tells the girls in 3.4? "you may be acting like huntresses, but you're not thinking like one." same thing here. he's telling yang, hey, you're not crazy, you know what you saw, but you don't know what or who caused you to see it. "you cut off the head of the king taijitu, but now the second head's calling the shots."

hint, hint.

it's subtler than the hints qrow drops for ruby in 3.12, but very much in the same vein, and yang is plenty smart enough to figure it out. she might... not have? in the couple of hours between this conversation and everything going to straight to hell, but if they'd had literally just one more day, just long enough for the wheels turning in yang's head to click together with what ruby heard from velvet about coco hallucinating during her and yatsu's 2v2 against emerald and mercury, she would've had it.

more... generally, i've never gotten the sense that qrow projects raven's flaws onto yang in the way that tai does; qrow is definitely a lot closer with ruby than yang, but i think that has less to do with favoritism on qrow's part than it does ruby thinking he's like the COOLEST uncle ever and wanting to use a scythe like he does.

'cause like, qrow isn't their parent, he doesn't live with them, he's not responsible for raising these kids like their dad is, so while he obviously did contribute to fucking them both up because: alcoholic, ultimately there just isn't the same degree of betrayal or emotional abandonment; he's not their dad. both times yang talks in detail about her childhood, it's "my mom left, ruby's mom left, tai wasn't really around, ruby couldn't even talk, i was alone"—she doesn't mention qrow. there isn't that deep hurt, that feeling that qrow is someone who left.

when he isn't drunk, yang seems to feel pretty okay around him, and qrow likewise treats her... honestly a lot better than tai does:

he stops by their dorm in v3 to hang out with both his nieces; yang is fully in sister mode—cheers for ruby to beat him until ruby loses, immediately shoves her out of the way like "my turn!! >:D"—and qrow ribs them both, takes ribbing from both of them in good humor, tells both of them "you two are gonna go far."

qrow nicknames to show affection; ruby is "pipsqueak," yang gets "firecracker."

we only see qrow's goodbye to ruby, but in 5.4 yang indicates that qrow came to talk to her before he left, too. she also has complete trust that he's keeping the promise he made to look after ruby.

yang, as noted, opens up to him about seeing her mom; she's also shocked that he's still in contact with raven and indignant that he didn't tell her sooner, but—unlike with tai—she doesn't seem surprised that qrow is willing to talk about raven in general.

which tracks with what tai says in 4.11: "despite asking him numerous times not to, i know qrow told you where you're mother's been at these days"—meaning, this was a point of contention between him and qrow. behind the scenes, while tai refused to discuss raven at all, qrow was going okay well, let me tell her then, she deserves to know. and then ultimately he just bit the bullet and told her behind tai's back. i wouldn't be surprised if it turned out qrow had been straight with yang that her dad wanted to be the one to tell her the important stuff, and he wanted to be respectful of that, but raven wasn't an off-limits topic.

general contrast between yang-tai and yang-qrow dynamics; for example both of them say almost verbatim "you've got a long way to go before you're ready for the real world" (3.4/4.4). from tai it's belittling, he's insulting her; from qrow, it's meant to encourage, it's "remember you're still new to this, you'll make mistakes, just keep learning, keep trying." (rwby does stuff like this all the time, refracting an idea in different directions to highlight contrasts between characters; ozpin's advice to ruby vs port's advice to weiss is another example.)

a lot of qrow's resentment toward raven is centered on her abandonment of yang: "did you know yang lost her arm? [...] rhetorical question, i know you know. it's just obnoxious that you'd bring up family and then carry on like your own daughter doesn't exist. [raven: "i saved her."] once. because that was your rule, right? real mom of the year material, sis." like he is PISSED on yang's behalf that raven won't even try.

my impression is that qrow—although a) often away on long missions in far away places and b) an alcoholic who sometimes got blind drunk and became a burden yang and ruby needed to take care of—when he did manage to be there, made a serious effort to connect with both of them. he ended up being closer to ruby bc she wanted to learn scythe-wielding, but i do think qrow would've trained yang too (or instead) if the girls had different combat interests.

and while his relationship with ruby has a mentorish aspect, i don't get the sense either of the girls see him as a parental figure: he wasn't part of their household, he traveled a lot, his alcoholism in combination with tai's neglect eroded the adult-child boundaries because they had to be responsible for him as often as the reverse. he's a friend who also happens to be related to them. and that's especially true for yang, because he wasn't her teacher.

(i know it's a... pretty common headcanon / fanon that qrow lived with them, but i really don't think that's supported by the text? whenever ruby or yang look back on their childhoods, the family unit is always them + tai, and qrow isolates himself out of fear that his semblance will injure those he cares about. plus ozpin sending him all over the place as the one member of team strq still active. it makes way more sense to think he lived alone, and visited when he had the chance. which is the main reason i'm WAY softer on him than on tai, 'cause qrow wasn't in a caretaker/parent role; at most he was an occasional babysitter. so while his incidents of turning up drunk on the doorstep contributed to the harm... it's like, it would absolutely have been better for them if qrow were sober, but that wouldn't have changed anything about their home life. they'd just have somewhat easier relationships with qrow.)

TO WRAP THIS BACK AROUND TO THE QUESTION, tai is unfairly judgmental and harsh with yang bc he projects his idea of her mom onto her; yang also has a better relationship with her mom's brother than she does with her dad. how do these two dynamics interact? how does yang feel about hearing from tai that she's too branwen, so to speak, while also getting along better with the branwen side of her family? how might that fuel her desire to find raven?

if her uncle treats her better than tai does, then... maybe her mom would too, if only yang could reach her?—obviously it's not rational, but like. i don't think five year old yang put her baby sister in a wagon and ran away to find her mom because she thought she would ask "why did you leave me?" and then get her answer and go home. as yang grew older and developed a more realistic perspective it shifted to "i just need to know why she left" and she projects that backward onto herself as a child, but at the time what she wanted, what she was looking for, was someone who would take care of them.

[samandcolbyownme]

since ur now writing for Zach can I pls get a Jared Bailey one shot?? You have free rein and no rish at all for this req. thank uuu fic mommy

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, mentions of Jared being drunk, drink, flirting, friends to lovers trope, love confession, slight sexting (Jared is bold when he’s drunk), unprotected sex, semi rough actions, biting, scratching, but more love making pretty much? Slight angst, maybe? Fluff with a dash of smut

Based off of this TikTok.

Word count: 4.4k | not really edited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You weren’t really excited about Coachella, but your friends on the podcast were destined to change your mind.

You joined the podcast earlier on in the year, and when Coachella came around, you had a ticket that you couldn’t get out of - no matter how hard you tried.

“Come on.” Tara begs, “You need to come with us!”

You sigh, “Tara, I don’t r-“

“You’re either coming or you’re fired.” Zach says and Jared steps in, “Hey now. Don’t say that, a lot of people like her.”

“By those people you mean you?” Zach teases and Jared’s face turns a shade of red, “That- No. I didn’t..” he laughs, “I think it would add to the fun if y/n came with us.”

You let out a long, dramatic sigh, “Twist my arm harder why don’t you?”

——

Weekend one was a partial blur.

You get bits and pieces as you look at the photos you took, which were a mess by the way, but they were so funny to look at.

You had to admit, you were so glad you didn’t try to back out last minute.

One thing in particular that you remember clear as day is standing in the crowd, Jared’s arm around you as you listen to Lana and Billie sing ‘Ocean Eyes’.

You were in total awe of them, just like Jared was of you.

He looks down at you a gently smile resting on his lips as he admires your face. How your eyes are glazed over from a mixture of alcohol happiness because being here was so much better than you had originally thought.

Even though he was slightly plastered, Jared couldn’t seem to keep his love drunk stare off of you. You’d look up at him and he’d just smile at you before looking back up toward the stage.

Every now and then Tara would elbow you and smirk, teasing you about how close you and Jared have become, “I told you, you needed to come.”

You roll your eyes, smiling as you lean into Jared’s body more. Another think you remember,is how you and Jared went back and fourth, all night stealing drunk kisses from each other.

It quickly turned into a competition and the race to find who can steal the most by the end of the night was on - and you won that race.

As weekend one at Coachella came to an end, you can definitely feel that you and Jared are closer. You text and talk on the phone more. You pick on him during the podcasts more and even though his red cheeks scream that he hates it, he secretly loves any attention you give him.

You tried not to let it get to you, but you were questioning yourself on why he hasn’t said anything about what happened.

Fuck, pictures get out from fans, you’re most likely getting a dating label slapped on your asses.

——

W E E K E N D • T W O

“Sucks you can’t come tonight.” Jared says as he puts on his hat. Your eyes move up his body, and you nod as you lean back in the chair, “Yeah, but you know what they say, your moms birthday only happens once a yet or something like that.”

Jared starts laughing and you join in, proud of your joke.

“God I love you.”

You both freeze and he laughs nervously, “You know, cause you’re my best friend. You got that label faster than Zach did.”

You smile slightly, keeping the pain of being friend zoned as contained as you can, “Right.”

He must not remember last weekend.

You nod, “No I get it.” You stand up, checking your phone, “I gotta go. I have to get dressed and then go to my parents house.”

You walk towards the door and stop before you leave, “Have fun tonight.” You smile and he nods, “It’ll be hard without you.”

You laugh, “Call me if you get bored.” As you walk towards the steps, Jared yells out, “You’re going to regret saying that.”

——

As you’re sitting in your parents living room, you get a text from jared and you smile as you read over it, Ready for that phone call yet? I’m bored out of my fucking mind.

Attached was a selfie of him from the chin up. You save that, adding it to the collection of birthday post photos, My sister is taking forever to get ready, so if you want to call quick you can.

Within a quick minute, your phone lights up with JareBear🧸🤍 appearing across the screen. You bring it to your ear as you answer, “Is it really that bad?”

“Oh god, you have no idea.” He groans on the other end, “The artist we’re waiting for, I guess is Ice Spice, but she doesn’t come on until later.”

“sorry to tell ya, sweetie, but you got a few more hours yet.” You laugh slightly and he sighs, whining out, “Don’t make it worse.”

You smirk, “Sorry, sorry.”

Your mind races as you think about just asking him if he remembers what happened last weekend and why you aren’t his girlfriend yet, but as soon as you get read to, your mom rushes out, “Okay. Okay. Shes finally ready.”

“Sounds like you gotta go.” Jared sighs, “Tell your mom I said happy birthday.”

You don’t want to hang up, but you know it’s the right thing to do, “I’ll call you later.” You laugh as you stand up, “Don’t get drunk, too fast.”

He laughs, “I’m not making any promises, sweetheart.”

You tilt your head, “Yeah, yeah.”

“Y/n.” Your sister waves you on and you nod, “Alright, I’m being herded so..” you laugh, “Be safe. Call if you need anything.”

“Promise.”

You hang up and walk over to your sister. She stares st you and you give her a look, “What?”

“That JareBear?” She smirks and you scoff, “I- none.. of your business.” You walk down to the car and she sighs, “The way he looks at you on the podcast, y/n,.”

You stop before you open the door and you nod, “When he looks at me.. I feel like he’s looking at me like I’m actually something worth looking at.”

She juts her lip out and furrows her brows, “He sooo likes you.” She laughs and walks around to get in. Your mom looks back at you, “How’s Jared?”

You feel your cheek heat at the sound of his name, “He’s good. He says happy birthday by the way.” She smiles, “Tell him I said thank you.”

You look down, tapping the screen to type out a text to Jared, My mom says thank you for the birthday wishes.

You see the bubbles pop up and you smile at how fast he answers you, I love your mom, she’s so nice. You smile, Yeah, now you know where I get my niceness from.

You rest your phone down and watch out the window as your mind races about what you are with Jared.

——

As the night goes on, you can tell that Jared is getting drunker by the hour, but he still manages to answer you right away.

It might not be anything related to your previous text, but he still answers you.

You cover your mouth as you read the texts coming in from Jared, “Oh my god.” You lean over to your sister, whispering lowly to her as you bring your phone between the two of you, “look at this.”

I have a glowsitck

Gkoesyick

Fuck

GLOWSTCK

damn it

You laugh and type back quickly before he sends another text, Are you drunk again, J?

You knew calling him J would get him. You don’t do it often, but you’re the only person who calls him that, so it drives Jared crazy in such a good way.

“Do you think he is?” Your sister asks and you laugh with a nod, “Dude.” You lean in, “Last weekend we-“ you glance up at your mom and dad, who are lost in conversation with their friends.

You lower your voice, “When we were drunk, we were all over each other. Literally had a competition to see who could steal kisses from the other most.”

“Who won?”

“Me.” You smirk, and she nods, “Good, carry on.”

You continue filling her in on the night and she smirks, “If you guys don’t become a couple by the end of night, I’m calling him nyself.”

You laugh, looking down as you read his text, Maybe a little bit, and don’t do that.

You bite your lip, playing innocent, Don’t do what?

Your sister leans in, “I think he’s just waiting for another sign that says you want him.” You roll your eyes and before you can argue, she sighs, “This is a man we’re talking about, okay? As much as we hate it, most of them are stubborn as fuck and can’t see what’s right there.”

You shrug, “i think I’ll ask him when I talk to him tomorrow, when he isn’t drunk.” You sip your wine and almost spit it out at your sister’s next statement.

“Invite him back for your place tonight.”

“I can’t do that.” You laugh nervously as you sip your wine, “that’s.. what if.. I can’t..” you shake your head and down the rest of your wine, just in time for the waiter to come and refill the glasses.

Your phone vibrates and you look down after thanking the waiter, You know whayt swerthesr t

You smirk, Are you having fun, J?

“If he wakes up at your place then you have no choice but to talk to him about your relationship.” Your sister nudges you, “That man loves you.”

You smile, pressing your lips together as you chew on your inner cheek. You look down at your phone and your heart skips a beat at Jared’s text, I rally wish yoi werehere we coujd have a repest of last week emf.

You chew on your thumbnail, really thinking about what your sister said, until your mom pulls you from your thoughts, “right, y/n? Honey.”

“What? Sorry.” You laugh slightly, “I think I had a little bit too much wine.” Your mom laughs, “I was just telling Erica about you and Jared, how long have you been together?”

“You do that Dropouts Podcast with him, too, right?” Erica adds and you sigh, “Mom.” You laugh, “Nothing is official, and please don’t be spreading that stuff around.”

“Yeah mom, if that gets out and it’s not true, the fans will come for you.” Your sister jokes and your mom rolls her eyes, “Oh gosh, you and these influencer rules and stuff.”

She goes back to her conversation and you go back go looking at Jared’s message, So you do remember.

He instantly responds, it’s short but you understand, I do.

You look around, excusing yourself before you get up to go to the bathroom, composing yourself because this is a step in the right direction - but you were naturally nervous.

You lean against the sink as you type, I was kind of worried you didn’t remember all of the things with us. That’s about all I can remember.

You look in the mirror, fixing your hair and reapplying your lipstick before walking back out to the table.

Everyone is standing and gathering their things to head to the car. You follow them out, lagging behind with your sister to fill her in on the conversation.

“Progress.” She nods, “Good progress.”

You can’t help but smile as you get in and you look down at your phone, “They’re watching Ice Spice and then I don’t know what they’re doing.”

“I’ll go get him if need be, just..” she looks at you, mouthing out the words, “Get him to come over.”

You roll your eyes, laughing as you shake your head, “I just..” she cuts you off with a tap on the arm and she shakes her head.

“Fine.” You smirk, “I’ll do it.”

——

The car ride from your parent’s house to your house was nerve racking. You stayed there a little bit after and the heat that’s been building up in the conversation between you and Jared was now on fire.

You sat in your car staring at the messages Jared had sent when you were driving, I’m drimk.

So ddrunk.

I love yoy

I’m drunk and o love hou

You rest your fingers over your lips, jumping slightly when you see his incoming call, “Hey, Jare. You doing okay?”

“I was just.. you haven’t answered my texts and I-“

You cut him off, calming him down, “I just got home. I’m still in my car. Here.” You tap the FaceTime icon, “Go to FaceTime, Jare.”

It takes him a second but when his face pops up on the screen, he smiles when he sees you, “Hiii, pretty girl.”

His words send thousands of butterflies lose in your stomach, “It’s me. Hi. I read your texts and I really think you should Uber to my place when you leave Coachella.”

He raises his brows with a smirk, “I guess it’s a good thing I’m already on my way then, yeah?”

“Wait.” You perk up, “Seriously?”

He laughs, “Yeah I’m walking to my Uber now. I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay.” You bite your lip, “I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me, see you soon, baby.”

Your breath hitches and you smile, “See you soon.”

You hang up and race inside, moving around to make everything look nice and neat before running to get a quick shower.

Once feeling refreshed, you opt for a simple t shirt and sweats and your body froze when you heard the door open, “y/n. I’m here.”

You take a deep breath before making your way out, “Hey.” You smile and walk over to him, “How was Ice Spice?”

Jared stares at you before failing at trying to hold back his laughter, “shit, okay. Zach is probably going to bring this up on the podcast because he loves to embarrass me, but-“

He laughs harder, “Okay, so, with us being whatever we are now, would you get mad if I say something about another woman’s ass?”

You furrow your brows in confusion and shake your head, “No.” you raise them, tilting your head, “but, now I’m really intrigued.”

Jared pulls you over to the couch, tossing his hat down on the end stand before he sits down next to you, “so..” he turns towards you, “I’m going to be honest.”

You nod and he sighs, “I was watching the show, and I was thinking about you, and then..” he laughs, “I never knew that someone ass could move like that before.”

You cover your mouth, laughing as you lean back, “Oh my god, Jared.”

“And it..” he lowers his voice, “Turned me on, so then..” He brings his voice back to normal volume, “I naturally thought of you and you know..” he reaches up, brushing hair from your face, “How you make me smile..”

You smile and he smirks as he brushes his hand over your cheek, “and I’m also super horny, but that is way besides the point.”

He laughs slightly and without any hesitation on your end, you grab his face and smash your lips into his. He groans slightly and his hand reaches out to grip your hip, “Mm.” He leans back slightly, eyes scanning over your face, “Do you want to do this?”

You nod, “Do you want to be with me?”

A smirk grows across his face as he nods, “Of course I fucking do.” He pulls you in, kissing you once more as he pulls you into his lap.

His hands snake under your shirt and his cock grows harder as he rolls your perked up nipples between his fingers.

You let out a moan, grinding down on him as he kneads your boobs, “You’re so fuckin’ sexy.” Jared whispers, slipping one hand out from under your shirt so he can cup your cheek, “Take your shirt off for me.”

You nod, bunching up the bottom of your shirt before you pull it over your head. He unties his bandana from his neck and leans forward just enough to slip his shirt from his body.

“So are you.” You lean in, kissing up his chest to his neck then over to his lips. His hands grip your hips, moving them slowly as your tongues dance for dominance.

He wins and bites down on your bottom lip, earning a moan from you. You look down at him when he lets your lip go and you whimper, “Can I finally have you?”

He bites his lip, pulling you into him as he sits up to meet you, “You, my love, can have whatever you want.”

You smirk and slide your hands down, nails dragging against his skin. His jaw falls slack when you lift up to slim a hand under you to palm at his aching cock through his shorts.

You lean in, lips brushing against his ear, “You feel so big, J.”

“Fuck.” He breathes out before pushing his lips to yours. He pulls you into him and rolls you over so your back is flush against the cushions, his lips staying on yours for another minute or so before he sits up to pull your sweats down.

He raises a brow when your bare cunt is revealed to him, a smirk rising on his lips “Almost like you knew I was coming over or something.”

You shrug, giving him a wink, “Gut feelings, you know.”

He smiles and stands up to take his shorts and boxers off before returning to the place between your knees, both naked and so beyond hungry for each other.

“You sure?” He asks one more time and you lay your hands on his cheeks, “Need you in me, Jare.” You pull him closed with your ankles that are locked on his lower back and he groans, “Fuck, baby.”

Your lips part as you feel him rub the tip of his cock against your soaked opening. He pushes in and you gasp out, clinging to him as you feel him stretch out your tight walls.

“Fuck.” He gasps out, burying his face into your neck, groaning louder as he pushes fully into you. You moan loudly, dragging your nails over his shoulders as your lips desperately search for his.

“J-Jared.” You whimper out, getting him to lift his head, “What, baby?” He leans up, putting his weight on his elbow as he brushes hair from your face, “You feel so fucking good.”

“Mo-move. Move, please.” You move your hips and he nods, pulling out and sliding back in. His forehead falls into yours as you both let out moans.

His grip on your body tightens and your hand find its way to his hair, tucking at his hair, “Feels so good.” You breathe out, “I love you.”

His hands travel up to find yours. He pins them above your head and deeps his thrusts, “Say it again.” He whispers, “Please.”

You look up at him, lips parted and brows furrowed as you moan out, “I’m so in love with you.” His lips twitch into a smile, “I’m so in love with you.”

He dips his head down, connecting his lips to yours with a fiery embrace.

You clench around him, whimpering against his lips, “I’m so close. So so close.” You rock your hips and he nods, pulling you to sit up, still straddling his lap.

His cock slips back inside of you and you moan, head tilted back as you grind your hips into his. He slides a hand up to the back of your neck, pulling you down to kiss him.

His other hand holds your hip, squeezing as he groans into your mouth, “Fuck. Where do you want me, sweetheart?”

“Fuck,” you whine, “anywhere.”

You dig your nails into his skin and clench around him, curse words and his name rolling off of your tongue loudly,

He lays you down, his thrusts resuming as soon as your back hits the cushions, “You feel so good.” Jared groans in to your neck, “You’re going to make me cum a lot faster than I wanted to.”

You kiss him, biting down on his bottom lip and gently letting it flop back against his teeth, “Good thing we have all night, right?”

He smirks, nodding his head, “Was hoping you’d say that.” He leans down, thrusts growing sloppy as his lips connect with yours.

You cup his cheeks, clenching around him as you help him chase his high, “Feels so good, J.” You whimper out, “cum for me.”

Your words, delicate yet so, so filthy, push him over the edge.

He pulls out, spilling his cum onto your pelvis with a groan. You gently kiss over his cheeks, rubbing a hand through his hair as he comes down.

He plops next to you, pressing a kiss to your cheek before getting up to grab you a towel, “Do you.. uh, want to shower with me?”

You smile, and despite already getting one, “As long I wake up to you still in my bed in the morning.”

“Trust me, you don’t have to worry about that not happening.” He smiles and holds his hand out, “Come on.”

——

T H E • N E X T • P O D C A S T • E P I S O D E

You sat there, completely soaking up the fact that no one in this room that you and Jared have been seeing each other.

You kept looking over at him and when he’d look at you, you’d look down quick and pretend you were picking lint off your pants or something stupid like that while you fought back a smile.

“Oh! Speaking of Coachella!” Tara says leaning forward, “What was your guys best parts about it?”

They each go around, Tara says music, Zach makes some stupid joke. Alyssa says the music and seeing the outfits.

“I think.. one of my favorite parts about Coachella, was from weekend one.” Jared says and Tara glances at you, “He’s going to say the Lana performance.”

“How did you-“ Zach smiles, his cheeks turning red, “but.. Yeah. That was just.. a really good moment for me.”

You smirk at Tara and take a deep breath, “Jared was one of the best parts about my Coachella.” You look over at him and he smirks, lifting his hands.

“Every time I saw you, I just got so exited.” Jared smiles as he nods. You nod, “It made me excited, you picked me up a few times as just made sure I was okay. It was cute.”

“Yeah.” Jared says with a huge smile, “You said that that thing wasn’t really your style so we all kind of agreed to try and make it as fun for you as it could be.” Jared smiles and you pout, “You do love me.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Zach says, “Anyway-“

“Way to butt in and ruin the mood, Zachary.” You roll your eyes and laugh. Zach gasps, “Oh. Speaking of..” he points to Jared, “What did you think of that Ice Spice performance?”

“Oh my god!” Tara gasps, “I loved it!”

Jared’s mouth falls open and you start laughing because you already know where this is going.

Zach is definitely calling Jared out about it on the podcast, “Dude.. no.” Jared shakes his head and lays his arms out on the desk, “I didn’t know asses could move like that..”

Jared pauses quickly, “It was incredible.”

You cover your mouth and shake your head, “Oh my god.”

“And she’s also an amazing performer..” Jared continue, “I don’t know too much of her music, but..”

Zach tilts his head, looking at Jared, “How did it make you feel watching that thing, um-“ Jared cuts Zach off, “Fucking turned on, what are you talking about?”

Tara laughs, “oh my god.”

You lay your fingers over your lips and all you can do is laugh and shake your head.

“But also like.. amazing..” Jared says and you point, “Wait.. that’s so weird you called me after Ice Spice then.”

Everyone looks to Jared and he has a huge smirk on his face.

“Ooh, Jared. What were you doing?” Alyssa teases and you laugh, “And you’re like hey, are you home? What are you doing tonight, y/n?”

Jared continues to smile, getting slightly nervous, “Umm..” he laughs and you tilt your head, “isn’t it crazy that you did that?”

Jared waves his hands, “I’m.. gonna have to go no comment on that..and then..”

You all laugh and Tara mocks Jared, “He was like, I just watched Ice Spice, y/n what are you doing tonight?” She laughs, “oh my god.”

Zach chimes in, “If you guys did hook up in the dessert, would you speak about it?” You purse your lips and look over at Jared.

He shakes his head slowly and all you can do is giggle.

“I think, y/n would.” Alyssa says and you laugh more. Tara points, “Instead of where did Tara wake up this morning it would be guessing where y/n woke up.” She laughs harder and you shake your head, looking at Jared and he knows exactly what you want to say.

He fights back laughter, “Why are you lookin’ at me like that?”

You laugh, “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking like if we did hook up this past weekend, like would it really be that crazy?”

Instantly Tara leans in, “No.”

Alyssa follows, “I second that.”

“wh-what!?” Jared laughs, “What does that mean?”

“But on a serious note, what would it have taken for it to happen, though, Jared?” Zach asks and Jared smirks, shaking his head, “Not a lot.”

You laugh along with everyone else, until Tara grips your arm, “Wait! No fucking way!”

“Oh, I think she cracked the code.” Jared laughs and you nod, “Yep, give it a second.”

Tara looks between you and Jared and shakes her head, “No, fucking way.” Zach looks so confused, “Why is she tweaking out? Tara I told you, you can’t do that here anymore.”

Tara flicks off Zach, not even looking at him before taking off her headphones and waking away. You look at Jared, “I think we broke her.”

Alyssa gasps, “No! You didn’t!”

“There it is.” Jared laughs and Tara walks back over, “I remember you leaving now, Jared. You sneaky mother fucker.”

“What the- oh shit. Everybody. Jared finally lost his virginity. Let’s all give him a round of applause.” Zach claps and you laugh.

“I hate you sometimes.” Jared says to Zach as he laughs, shaking his head while his face grows redder.

——

I hope this didn’t suck. I haven’t been in the writing mood lately, but as usual, let me know what you thought.

Thank you for reading! Ilysm! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[appleblueberry-pie]

I saw your yandere Miguel asks and I had to rush in! How would Yan Miguel feel when he has a S/O who loathes him? I'm talking about actively throwing insults at him, yelling at him if he gets too close to them or even trying to fight or attack him because he kidnapped her against her own will?

You can ignore this if u want!

Bittersweet.

Miguel often tries to find a sweet excuse for why you act the way that you do.

Yes, you did empty all of the contents of the medicine cabinet into the toilet and flushed them away. Yes, you threw his toothbrush and yours into the trash can.

Yes, you busted all of the windows of his extremely high high-rise apartment windows open before he could get back in time to stop you from causing too much damage.

Yes, you cut all possible electrical wires in the house(at least you had the sense to unplug everything before cutting it).

Yes, you took all food in the refrigerator and dumped it into the washing machine, ran 3 cycles on hot water and completely destroyed it.

Yes, you took his clothes and the ones he made you wear and burned them all somehow(you never could figure out how to work the very techy stove, but that day you could. He changed it to a more complicated one).

Yes, you hid in the closet often.

Yes, you would skip your meals(he didn't have the heart to force feed you himself).

Yes, you would scream at the top of your lungs at him, even though you were clearly tiring yourself out.

Yes, you would often try to break into his extremely important work office to destroy absolutely any progress he made on his work(you almost managed to break in at least three times).

Yes, you would threaten to "get him" in his sleep if you had to sleep in the same room as him.

Yes, you would spit threats and insulting words to him all night if he made you "try" to sleep in the same room as him.

Yes, you made him lose sleep.

Yes, you would often cry in the closet, the only space he didn't try to bother you in.

Yes, you would ignore him, and yes, you would try to keep as much distance as possible.

But it's understandable that you act that way. You were just a little scared, is all. You were ripped from a place you felt most comfortable in and thrown into this new environment, he understands that. So, he tries to take as much care of you as possible.

He would remain as patient as possible with you, not minding having to replace anything, knowing he has the money for it. He would let you have your little moment before trying to get closer. Bath time was the hardest for you, but he tried to respect as many boundaries that he could. And this goes for all moments he's had with you. The last thing he wants is to make you as uncomfortable as possible with him. So, he stays patient and talks to you how he knew you deserved and plays the waiting game. He has his whole life and yours to wait for you to finally let him take care of you...........

Miguel leaned against the doorframe to your personal bedroom which was trashed to hell and back, with you sitting against the wall, knees to chest as you stared him down. Miguel's eyes held nothing but concern. Nothing even really happened today, and everything you do always has a reason behind it. He thought you were finally beginning to relax, today almost being your three-day streak of leaving the house alone.

"Baby-" "Get the fuck out."

Miguel blinked and shut his mouth. But then he sighs and slumps his shoulders, walking in. You tensed and scooted towards the closest corner of the room. "Y/n, I'm tired." You could see the exhaustion written on his face as his feet almost dragged against the floor, getting closer to you. You smushed yourself into the corner some more.

"You've been doing this too long, and it's getting childish. Really." His eyebrows scrunched as he watches you pick up a broken wooden piece of your once beautiful bedframe. "Please put that down." The silents grows as you hold the piece of wood tighter and Miguel shakes his head.

"You have to........you have to stop messing up the place. I can't keep replacing the things you destroy, and I can tell your voice is being overworked from how much screaming and crying you've been doing. Please, mi cielo, just stop pushing yourself-" He catches the plank that you chucked his way and drops it on the floor.

"Don't do this to me."

"I'll stop if you let me go."

Miguel sighs and looks to the side, his patience running more thin by the second. "You know I can't do that." He mutters. You hold yourself tighter. "Then I won't stop. I won't stop trying to kill you and won't stop fucking things up until you let me go. I won't." You shake your head and felt your eyes glossing over. Was he really going to not let you go?

You didn't want to keep doing anything that you had done and probably will continue to do. But you can't just let your captor have the pleasure of enjoying you while your mind rots away. There was no way in hell you were going to give in. You felt your breath quicken and began blinking multiple times. Miguel saw you beginning to cry and tried to get closer to comfort you. This was the most conversation he was ever able to get out of you. Maybe he had a chance?

You plant your hands on the ground and shake your head. "No, leave me alone. Stop it!" When he continues to step forward, you take the risk of slipping between him and the wall to run off. Miguel easily grabs your upper arm and you try to pull against him as hard as you can, which obviously wasn't that hard for him to continue holding you. You quickly scan the room, but it was useless, knowing he wouldn't let you reach down to the ground to grab something else to get him with.

So you just kept pulling. You yanked your arm, jerking your body as you attempted to free yourself from his hold. And usually, it would work the first few times, but for some reason he just wouldn't let you go. Miguel tried to tell you to stop, to calm down, anything, but the words went right over your head as you continued to yank yourself again and again. Each pull felt more painful than the last and when you felt your heart aching from exhaustion, you pulled even harder.

Miguel tried. Tried so hard to be patient with you. It's been an extremely difficult these past three months. Three months of your temper tantrums, of you screaming into his face, of you trashing his home that he wanted to make as accessible to you as possible. Three months of his work being put on hold because of you. All of his problems currently have all been tied to you, and a part of him wished it really really didn't have to come to this. He wished he had more self control, because you deserve more than his anger. He wished he wasn't your biggest fear at this moment.

But the more you yanked to get away from his hold, the more you yanked at his mind and the more his tongue felt compelled to speak the words he usually never let get past his basic thought process.

His jaw clenched and his hold became three times stronger and you whimpered, finally feeling what he had been holding back on and his voice boomed throughout the house.

"ENOUGH!"

You immediately froze.

Your muscles and mind completely stilled as Miguel's huffs and puffs of anger rang in the air. His voice continued to rattle in your mind even when the house went silent. He never yelled at you before.

"You fucking done? Hm?" He pulled you to make eye contact with him and he only grew more frustrated with that stupid fearful look on your face.

"Ah. There you go with that look on your face again. I know you know that you're too old to be acting like a fuckin' 6 year old." He watches your face slowly twist into one of annoyance and he raises his eyebrow.

"I'm sick of your attitude, I'm sick of that fucking mouth of yours, I'm sick of you misbehaving, and everything else you ruined!! I'M taking care of you. This is my house." Miguel seemed to tower over you in this moment. In a way you weren't used to. No matter how pissed you were, how much you wanted to talk shit to him in this moment, you couldn't, knowing he had reached his limits. You completely underestimated him. ".......you don't want to know about the original house rules I wanted to put in place before I caught you." He lets you go, but you stay in place.

"But it seems like I have to treat you like a little girl. Es eso lo que quieres? Quieres que papi te enseñe a comportarte como una buena chica?"(Is that what you want? Do you want daddy to teach you how to behave like a good girl?)

He pinches his nose bridge and scans the room once more. "We can start here. This is the worst you've ever done, dios mio. Pisses me off." He then looks back down at you before gesturing his hands, as if expecting you to do something. "...Well, clean this mess up." You frown and he scoffs in annoyance. "What's that face? What? Did I spoil you by cleaning up your messes? You know what, I have a better idea." (My god.)

He gestures to outside of the bedroom. "You clean up your room, and then I'll give you a toothbrush to scrub the kitchen and bathroom floor. When you're done scrubbing every single inch of the ground, you'll mop- stop making that face, I'm not done. You're going to mop both of those floors...." He walks into the bathroom connected to your room and grabs your toothbrush before tossing it to you. "Once the floor dries, do the dishes, clean the oven, wipe the windows, tables, counters, everything. Got it?" You purse your lips in response.

"Good. This is your punishment for today. The rest continues tomorrow. I still don't know if I want to punish you myself or just lock you up for the day. Maybe I'll have you choose, hm?" He softly caresses your cheek with love you never allowed him to give you before pecking your forehead.

"I'm glad you learned to shut your damn mouth. Only God knows what I would've done to make you stop talking." He smiles softly before leaving the room. "I'll be back home in an hour. This place better be spotless."

With his back facing you, he leaves you, knowing you have no choice but to follow his advice.

[kimquatz]

Musing some thoughts out loud tonight in regards when it comes to making hobby into work wrt personal projects 💭

Idk if y'all other artists have experienced this, but those moments whenever you express that you're interested in working in the entertainment industry to someone, the follow up question is often always like "Do you wanna work on making some big magnum opus/your own show/comic/game/etc.?"

And not that that's a bad thing to ask! A very understandable and normal question actually LOL. But, whenever I get approached with that question, I always think to myself... Not really? (But maybe that'll change in the future, who knows LMAO) And not that I'm afraid of the undertaking or w/e, but simply being a part of the collaborative process and bringing someone's vision to life is just as satisfying to me to be a part of tbh!

The big reasoning, for me at least, is when it comes to my own personal projects though, I want them to remain For Me ykwim? I'm not looking to make them for an audience, or conventionally tell their story in a marketable way. I want my original projects be things I keep as my hobby, to stir around in my brain and chip away at my free time.

And when I say conventional I mean, say for example, telling a whole story how you would expect through a sequential comic. However, I like the idea of simply having a story/world I play around in, and I express bits and parts of the story through different mediums like animation, comic pages, music videos, etc. (Been thinking a lot of how BAKUI goes about telling their original works) Obviously it'd be more difficult for an "audience" to parse the story and puzzle piece it together, but that's fine bc it was meant for *me* to experiment and enjoy LOL.

Plus, turning one of my hobbies into smth bigger than it's supposed to be often would make me hesitate to work on it and put it off more than I would if I was just going about it casually 😭

I realized that was always one of biggest hangs up when it came to my own projects. Beforehand I would keep hesitating like "but I need to make it good! I need to make it presentable! like I'm pitching it like a show to my followers before i can show anyone!" but that's such... an impossible invisible standard sometimes. 💀

I kinda stopped stressing myself over that so much now, and just started Talking about it publicly. Now I've made a lot more progress on my original projects than I ever have before than when I was just silently stewing it in my brain AKSJDLSAK.

[morethansky]

***TBB FINALE SPOILERS***

"The Cavalry Has Arrived" aka MY OTP IS CANON NOW

A truly absurd amount of meta and thoughts and screaming under the cut:

Overall

• I...loved it????? This is the biggest plot twist of all for me. Like I've said incessantly, I've had so many issues with the writing choices for this show, and I'm so grateful the brainrot set in so I could start watching it through a fandom lens and have way more fun with it than through a media critic lens and being a hater. But like...that was actually really satisfying to me within the parameters of where the show had led to in the last four episodes??

• As everyone on the planet probably knows by now, I would've been much happier if this show had led to the Batch choosing to do the right thing and joining the clone resistance, and if we never get another clone series, I will continue to be unbearable and salty about the lost potential of telling that story. But after Echo left and we stopped following his story, I gave that hope up. And ofc nothing about my criticism of this season is invalidated. But given the pieces on the board, I'd pretty wholeheartedly give the finale my stamp of approval!

• I'm ultimately glad that this show ended on a "We don't leave our own behind" note, because that's the clone energy and general Star Wars energy I'm looking for, and they did a great job of applying that theme to every non-villain in this episode, minor and unnamed characters included—but it's still so darkly funny for them to have continued to push this idea even though the first season is literally about them leaving their own behind and moving on. And then Crosshair calls them out on it. And then he just...leaves himself behind. Even in their first appearance in TCW, the Batch's entire vibe is that they keep trying to convince Rex to leave his own behind lmao. I just feel like the show wanted this adage to tie everything together, but then forgot to keep applying it somewhere along the way. But hurrah for this abundant use of it!

• My overall biggest criticism was that even within this one episode we got back on the rescue/captured/rescue/captured treadmill. It's the biggest plot crutch of the show. It's so goofy that Omega and Echo rescued both the children and the imprisoned clones by themselves. The setup made it so that by going to rescue Omega, Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair actually put her in more danger. And because they were there, more clones died, wtf!! But I do like the narrative flip—Echo and Omega were both saved by the Batch in their introductions in this era, and here are they are being the ones to save them in return. Omega and Echo also are the characters in the main cast who deserve the rescuer plotline the most, since they have been consistently portrayed as helping those in need no matter what.

• Hilariously, one of the most pivotal roles that the Forest Trio plays in regards to the GFFA at large is that they were essentially Rampart's rideshare drivers, thus enabling him to be there and force Nala Se not to hesitate to destroy Project Necromancer.

Rampart and Nala Se

• Hemlock saying his work makes him indispensable is fantastic dialogue; it just seems like some dickish thing he would say to shit on Rampart, but it ends up giving Rampart the idea to try to leverage his work to become indispensable himself, and in saying that line, Hemlock ushers his own ruin!!! This is the kind of script work I've been begging for.

• Also I was so right about Rampart being like a Kallus foil! That infamous shot of him in his sad, sterile room after Bahryn is mirrored here with Rampart sitting in pretty much the same position, except his path is the opposite from Kallus's.

• They did an EXCELLENT job with Rampart's fate. I was worried they were neutering him these last couple eps, even if the comedy was gold, but this was very well done. Everything that happens leading up to his death makes complete sense for his character, and it accomplishes the very key plot point of destroying Tantiss. At the start of the season I couldn't figure out how and why the Batch was going to end up delaying Project Necromancer for like thirty years, so I feel validated that they pretty much don't. Very typical of this show to not have the protagonists do the heroic work, but fuck it, I like this instance.

• The humanizing of Nala Se in this show has always been a bit of an interesting choice given that this is feels like such a direct successor to TCW and she was so clearly a villain there. But although they don't quite redeem her, her motivations and her fate were also artfully executed here. Her conversation with Omega pretty much takes into account every Nala Se scene in this show, which is a great way to wrap her character up. And I really like the mirror of Nala Se giving Omega her datapad in the season premiere, and Omega giving Nala Se a datapad here. Both times, Nala Se is determined to set Omega free.

• And I'm so glad there was a follow-up to the destruction of Kamino as well! Nala Se getting a bit of revenge against one of the beings responsible for the genocide of her people and destruction of her homeworld is not something I expected at all, and I love it. And the setup of Nala Se picking up the detonator and Rampart picking up the blaster is just fantastic, because you know from just those two shots that Rampart is willing to kill to gain Palpatine's favor for himself, and Nala Se is willing to die to make sure the being she loves will be free.

Echo and Omega supremacy

• Give me an Echo-led rebel show where he convinces all sorts of people in the Empire and the underworld to defect/help them, please!!! He's so good at it, completing Emerie's turn so efficiently! We have to assume Rex is also good at it given his cell and that he has clone spies and even undercover agents, but every time he sees Hunter he has tried and failed to recruit him lmao. Also REX'S NAMEDROP but him not showing up surely means...we'll see a continuation of his story soon after this...right??? Also this means Howzer still lives, oh, thank god.

• "Because it's exactly what I would do." Strategist Echo comeback yessss!! A nice little callback to the Techno Union arc that kicked this story off as well. And HELL YEAH Omega's relationship with Echo is my favorite out of all of her connections, and I'm living for their spotlight together this ep. I'm extremely invested in found family stories not relying on nuclear family narratives, and I love that you see throughout the show that Echo doesn't "raise" Omega like a kid—he trains her like a cadet. Like someone who he intends to be his equal, which is a nice and very appreciated contrast to others treating her like a precious sheltered baby.

• Their goodbye scene in "Truth and Consequences" is one of my favorites in the show, and I just adore that when Omega is upset, Echo doesn't coddle her—he reminds her of her duty to watch over the others, giving her a purpose and a reason to stand tall. When he conveys that he was worried about her and thinking of her while she was captured, he gifts her a weapon he designed and made for her during that time, so that she won't have to be defenseless after being defenseless for so long in captivity. It's so clone trooper, and I love it and the glimpses these details give us about clone culture and how the older clones cared for the shinies and the cadets and showed their love for each other.

• I also liked that Omega couldn't have escaped without Tech's training, since slicing was so vital. And all her stealthy stabbing is of course reminiscent of Hunter. And finally some emotional payoff for the ongoing bit about Wrecker being afraid of heights! I'm weak for inspirational Star Wars quotes, and this show hasn't had many, but "Just stay focused on what's ahead, not what's below," is a lovely one.

Forest conversations, my beloved

• The Kiners scored the fuck out of this episode!!! So many clever, thoughtful reprises. This is the first reappearance of Crosshair's theme that's played on the synths since he began healing! And then it segues into a soft violin tremolo version that makes me cry, and then it intertwines with "The Sacrifice" from Tech's death, ouchhhh. I have a lot of meta I need to write out about the tracks "The Reunion" and "They Always Work It Out" and how they say so much about Hunter and Crosshair, but I can't believe how well my analysis paid off in the cues in this scene! More on that in another post.

• Gosh, Wrecker's injury scared the shit out of me. But I love him so much and I'm glad he got at least a little moment, even if he didn't really have a story arc here. Or you know, in the entire damn show. And I ultimately liked that the purpose of it wasn't just to freak us out but to give them a plausible disadvantage and to give Crosshair someone to fuss over the whole time and act more recklessly because of it, thus reiterating this key character trait of his.

• I love Crosshair being worried about Wrecker and Hunter and them being worried about Crosshair. That's the squad content I crave and have been missing!! Unfortunate that it specifically has been happening when Omega is out of the picture. Writers, I swear to you, you can do both.

• Can't believe it took another half season for someone to say something about Tech's death, and it was Crosshair, who wasn't even there?? Cool line and sentiment, but man, so frustrating. I like this callback to his conversation with Rampart, though. "Depends on who's giving them" and in this first act he keeps trying to give those orders himself. Thinking of Rex on Umbara: "We're not programmed. You have to learn to make your own decisions."

• God the forest conversations in this ep and the previous one fed me so much. Hunter saying, "And so do those clones" had me literally jumping out of my seat and cheering. Baby boy, it took you so goddamn long, but thank you for finally actually giving a shit before the conclusion of your story. And "It's what I deserve," hnghhh that's the good shit, and it hearkens back perfectly to "I belong in here." And Hunter immediately telling Crosshair hell no made me very happy. And then later Hunter saying "Crosshair—" when he's worried Crosshair is still going to sacrifice himself, but Crosshair reassures him that he'll be right behind them... My heart! What a Crosshunt feast we got in this ep!!!

• Can't believe we also got so many Crosswrecker moments from the get-go and they kept coming! And my three precious little Techwrecker crumbs: the way Crosshair specifically chooses Wrecker to say the cutting remark about Tech to; the way Wrecker bows his head because that was right on target; and Wrecker being the one to watch Tech fall and to scream, "Don't do it, Tech!" in "Plan 99" yet the one to say with such conviction here, "We've always known the risks. And so did Tech." That's just so...finally accepting your beloved is gone ;_; Not really deserved by the text, which kept all but a total of like maybe one total minute of mourning off screen for some fucking reason, but.

Clone X, more like Clone Sexy

• There aren't nearly as many Clone X dudes as I expected?? I guess Crosshair's situation wasn't that rare after all? Or do they just run through them super quickly because Rex's team keeps taking them down?? Regardless, god, THEY ARE ALL SO SEXY. The way they animated their movements was so creepy and hot. And them not speaking was so eerie, I loved it. And then the moment that CX-2 did was so effective and terrifying!!! But remembering that those were clones in there is so, so heartbreaking.

• I really like that Echo really felt like both a clone trooper AND the resistance agent he is now this whole episode, and Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair actually briefly got to feel like commandos. The slick stealth and silent communication was also very sexy.

• MY GOD, I loved these action scenes. They were lit and choreographed so cool, they were super intense and had real consequences and close brushes with death, and the logic of the fight flow was really good, too. A character being incapacitated because they went to try to help an ally is always a wonderful driving force for action and gives it that crucial character-driven element that raises the stakes, and is great for making sure the main characters aren't too OP, and there was a ton of that here.

• Hunter and Wrecker getting shot by laser cannons and Hunter pushing Wrecker away from the blast made me shriek in terror AND THEN CROSSHAIR SHOOTING THE PILOT DEAD ON NO HESITATION NO ANXIETY NO TREMOR BECAUSE HOW DARE YOU HURT MY HUSBAND I'M FUCKING LIVINGGG. And then Wrecker stumbling over to Hunter and lifting the debris like he does in TCW. Boom, three pivotal character-driven action scenes in a row that divulge a key characteristic of each character! Excellently written and directed.

• Also I am SO SO SO HAPPY that we're getting to see this protective Crosshair come out in full force!!! This is the Crosshair who risked his life to try to save Mayday, who shouted hysterically when Hunter fell into the ice and was so desperate to get him out, who worried over Omega on Teth. I also really like this contrast with how he was about Echo—"Echo's on it." He knows Echo will get the job done and be safe and that's despite his former prejudice against regs. He's worried about Hunter and Wrecker and that's despite previously spending time trying to hunt them down. And when he suffers consequences, it's because of him worrying about them, and that's so delicious.

• Finally got to hear Crosshair screaming! And Hunter was already the screamer in this show, but goddamn does he get to scream in this episode. Thank you, directors, for this whump material! My man Steward Lee never lets me down.

• THE WAY THAT WHEN CROSSHAIR IS TRYING TO SAVE WRECKER HE REACHES FOR A DC-17 OMG!!!! I feel so validated! And just like with Mayday, he's incapacitated afterward...

• God the way CX-2 waits to be tossed the vibrosword and then leans down with it while Crosshair is already incapacitated is SO brutal, like this is not a battle injury. It's straight up what Anakin fucking Skywalker does to Count Dooku just before he becomes a Sith Lord, like holy shit, dude. This scene is so cool and I've watched it 10,000 times over the past 24 hours, but also why did he do that lol, is he just supposed to be particularly cruel?? Obsessed with tormenting Crosshair for some reason?? Also, these vibroswords are exactly how I've pictured Ahsoka's being in A Future for Us :D

• At this point I was like, uhhh, the messaging of Crosshair struggling with this psychomatic hand tremor since the first episode of the season and then the symptom literally being taken out of his........hands sure is a Choice, especially coupled with how they've treated Echo (or you know, not). When they showed him still with the symptoms later, I was very relieved, AND THEN HUNTER LITERALLY CURES CROSSHAIR THROUGH THE POWER OF THE LOVE AND FAITH AND TRUST HE HAS FOR HIM IS THERE ANYTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL IN THE WORLD???? But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Echo is the GOAT

• "You were helping us, Dr. Karr?" / "I am." I love this subtle line and how Emerie acknowledges that she wasn't sure of her loyalties before but is certain now. And I love that she says such a clone trooper thing, "You have my word," and then doing the clone shoulder pat, especially in direct contrast to the natborn kids hugging Omega just before.

• "Hey, kids. ...And other kids." is just so fucking 501st, I can't explain it. I'm just so ecstatic that they did Echo such justice in the end, giving a nod to everything about his character, even his dorkass cadet personality. And it wasn't just so he could die, thank god!!!

• Like Echo even got a DARTH VADER homage??? That's his mass-murdering general (affectionate). More on this here!

• Also is there anything more Big Dick Energy in the world than Echo eviscerating Rampart—who either the clones would recognize as a former vice admiral or at least see his captain rank plaque—with what may not be a theme this show really earned but is ABSOLUTELY a theme that Echo deserves and has shouldered for over two seasons...and then just straight up shoving him out of the way so that he can talk to his brothers???? And with his stormtrooper helmet—which is like Echo refusing to dirty his hands (including his new, long-awaited one) by touching Rampart oh my god??? Sexiest man alive.

• So the answer is no, there isn't. Fives is hollering from the afterlife. Half those clones immediately developed a crush on him in that moment. That one clone later placing a blaster in Echo's arms so gently confirmed this for me (remember the symbolism of Echo making the energy crossbow for Omega? He even gives her his borrowed blaster in this scene), but it's so sad that he died because of it, whyyy.

• Also I love the "Clones don't leave our brothers behind" riff on the "We don't leave our own behind" adage. It's very fitting that Hunter would put it that way because he only means his squad (+/-1), whereas Echo would see it as meaning his people.

• And I love how when Rampart first shoves Echo, the clone in front that Echo's been talking to prickles and makes brief eye contact with him, to be like, "Should we take him? I've got your back." I felt that girls (gender neutral) in the bathroom energy so hard.

• The clones helping each other out of their cells made me so emotional. And it's the same way that Hunter and Crosshair do later...

• Echo asking for volunteers, just like Rex did on Umbara..................

• I think this post is breaking and I'm still only two-thirds of the way through my rewatch, oops. And yesterday I stayed up until 8 a.m. after I put it on again after watching it for the first time... I'm so normal about this show. More tomorrow!

[harveys-mustache]

Pretty Eyes

___

Pairing(s): Harvey x GN!Farmer / Harvey x GN!Reader

Word Count: 921

Summary: You get hurt in the mines, and you don’t want to go bother a certain doctor for help over a silly little injury. But too bad Harvey doesn’t care. He’s gonna help you anyways.

Warning(s): mention of injury, both the Farmer and Harvey being oblivious, idiots to lovers, Clint (he’s a creep in my opinion), disgustingly fluffy.

A/N: here’s a cute little imagine of my husband, Harvey. I LITERALLY LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH!!! anyways… enjoy ;)

Main Masterlist

||| Do NOT plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my work in any way. Thank you. |||

___

“I don’t know why you do this to yourself!”

Here we go again.

Harvey is currently cleaning the wound on your leg. It was a nasty gash, you had to admit. But it was already pretty late and you didn’t want to bother him for help. You fully planned on just fixing yourself up with your first aid kit at home, until you bumped into the doctor himself. He offered to help clean it up. You hesitantly accepted. So, that’s exactly what he did. But not without scolding you, of course.

“I mean, come on,” Harvey said, still disinfecting your wound. “You went down forty-eight levels in the mines! For just some little pieces of amethyst??!”

You rolled your eyes at Harvey’s little lecture. He looks at you, scowling. “And don’t even think I didn’t see that.”

“Okay, fine,” You finally speak. “I see where you are thinking here. And I get where it could sound a little stupid. I just needed the amethyst, okay?”

“Why?” Harvey asks. He’s staring at you with so much intensity that you almost don’t want to say anything. As if he can sense this sudden anxiety, he says it again, softly this time. “Why?”

“Because…” Oh god, maybe this does sound stupid. “Because Clint needed it. He said if I get it for him, he’ll pay me back.”

Everyone in town knows that Harvey doesn’t have a bad bone in his body. He is just an overall sweet man.

So, when you see him quite literally turn red with rage, it comes as a shock to you.

Harvey gets up from his position next to your legs and starts to pace around, trying to get all this anger out of him through his steps. He looks furious.

“Um…Doc?” You say, hesitant. He starts to laugh to himself. “Are you-“

“I know you’re not about to ask me if I’m ‘okay’ right now.” He speaks harshly. “Because I’m not.”

“Why?”

“Why!?” He laughs a humorless type of laugh. “Because you put all that effort in to getting some stupid stone from the mines just for that- that creep to say that he’ll ‘pay you back.’”

“Why did you say ‘pay me back’ like that?!” You mimic quotation marks with your hands like Harvey did. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I-“

“Like, is this some sort of joke or-“

“He means sex!!!”

There is a pause in the room. You stare at Harvey, mortified over what you just heard. He sighs.

“Clint basically meant that he wants to sex. With you.” Harvey can’t even look at you. “I don’t know if you knew that but…”

How could you not have seen it? With all those suggestive comments. And the not-so-subtle winks. You just thought he was joking! You didn’t think he was serious!?

“Oh, God!” You now have your head in your hands. This has to be some sort of sick nightmare. This can’t be real. “I think I might be sick.”

You feel a hand placed on your back. You look up to see Harvey looking at you softly. You would be lying if you said that you didn’t have a small crush on him. Because you did. Just a little though. Because nothing could really happen. Right?

“Don’t worry, the bucket will be right here with you.” He says. “And me. If that even helps.”

“It does.” You maintain eye contact. He looks into your eyes, almost as though he can see everything about you. You don’t know how many seconds go by, but you don’t care. He doesn’t seem to either.

“You have really pretty eyes,” He states, in a daze. Your mind goes wild. You have no idea what is happening right now. All you can do is smile up at him. Realizing what he just said, he snaps out of it. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. I-“

“Doc, It’s okay.” You laugh softly, but that doesn’t make him stop talking.

“I can’t believe I just said that. Out loud too!”

“Harvey-“

“I mean you probably don’t even like me like that! And you’re my patient too! I really-

“Harvey-“

“I’m so sorry. I should-“ Before he can run away, you kiss him. You kiss him with such passion, that he never wants to let go. So he doesn’t. Instead, he responds with the same intensity you gave him. He grabs you by the waist, tugging you closer. You let out a gasp of surprise, in which Harvey hears. He smiles into the kiss. You both pull away slowly, the only noises being you and Harvey catching each other’s breath. You both stay like this, forehead to forehead, letting everything sink in.

“Well,” You look up and whisper to him. “In case you didn’t already know, I think you have pretty eyes too.”

“Yeah?” He chuckles softly, looking at you. You nod. “Will these ‘pretty eyes’ help me get a date with you?”

You can’t help but giggle.

“Okay! That wasn’t the best way to put it.” He laughs shyly. “But do you think you would let me take you out on a date? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“Oh no! You are not backing out of this one, Doc.” You say, trying to look as serious as possible. But failing. “You are taking me out on that date whether you like it or not!”

“Noted.” He chuckled, smiling at you so much that his face hurts. How did he get so lucky to have a person like you?

___

[angelofsmalldeaath]

abstract (psychopomp) — a.h.b.

cw: death of a pet (in the past), talks of death, mentions of blood, hurt/comfort-esque

the cat collar is old and frayed against my fingers. the red looks brown now and the bell that once hung at the centre of it…well, it’s gone now. gone forever. still, i thumb the empty spot and close my eyes. 

a distant part of my brain remembers the tiny jingle of the bell—tinkling and melodious. accompanied by little chirpy meows.

“thought i’d find you here,” his voice interrupts my thoughts and i put the collar back in the box. it’s instinct to shut it tight, to slide it away from me. who me? i wasn’t the one stuck in the same memory. not me… i’d never… 

his hair is damp like he just got out the shower, the collar of his t-shirt sporting a wet spot from when he obviously didn’t dry himself properly. i blink quickly and smile up at him. 

“i was looking for old boots.”

“you weren’t. i know what date it is.” 

for a moment i hate the expression of absolute surety on his face. i hate how well he knows me. i hate that his eyes fill up with love and warmth—something that slides over my skin like thick molasses, suffocating me thoroughly. 

“you’re allowed—”

“i know what i’m allowed!” the snap in my voice startles us both. 

his face crumples a little, eyebrows furrowed, a small crease formed right between them. my hands twitch at my sides. i should be walking over to him and smoothing the crease with my thumb. 

instead, i lean against the wall, hoping one of these boxes in storage might swallow me whole. 

i wait for him to say something else—maybe tell me again that i’m allowed to “feel my emotions” or that i’m allowed to cry about it or one of thousand other sweet things he has in his arsenal. 

he blinks and rearranges his face into a smile. “do you know what i remember about that day?”

i give him a wry smile. “blood? there was a lot of it…”

“i remember you. i remember falling in love with you.”

my heart skips a beat. that’s hardly the thing i’d expected him to say. “that’s—”

“not what you were expecting? i know.” for a moment the room goes quiet. the dust motes float in the air—like little flecks of glitter in the sunlight. all i remember about that day is grief. 

all i remember is loss. 

“it was so cold, do you remember? you nose was all red and runny. i teased you about it…”

“mercilessly,” i chuckle. he’s walked closer now, so close that our toes touch and the space between our bodies fills with heat. 

i swallow and look up at him. this closeness has me craning my neck just to properly look into his eyes, and i see it there—the same look he had in his eyes then, a certain kind of shine. the deja vu leaves me breathless. 

“you wouldn’t stop burrowing your hand in my pocket, you refused to leave my hand. i thought my heart would burst into a million tiny pieces.”

“well…that’s not good.”

“it was,” he clicks his tongue, “until it wasn’t. you ran into the traffic right in front of me and i couldn’t do anything but stand and stare and hope my heart won’t explode into a million pieces on the pavement.”

“i didn’t… i didn’t know she’d escape from the window and run out onto the street.” 

for a second i close my eyes and relive the scene in flashes—laughter. shock. a ball of familiar black fur running past us. the screech of tyres. bright lights. blood. so much blood. 

and then his hand on my back…

“let go, baby,” he says, drags his knuckles down my spine and i look at my hands, at all the blood. my white nails stained crimson, the red collar stained brown. 

i blink and come back to the present. 

“i remember thinking you were so brave. you are so brave. i remember being terrified that i’d lose you before i told you i loved you.”

his smile turns sad and my heart splinters. a lot of memories from the day are a blur but i remember his shaky voice. i remember how his hands won’t stop shaking, how he’d bite his lip to stop it from wobbling. 

“do you think about it often? about me running into oncoming traffic.”

“every night, i think.” there’s simple honesty in his voice and i picture him lying there, staring up at the ceiling, replaying that scene in his head. “but i allow myself to feel the fear, then i turn to you and pull you into my chest and everything is perfect again. everything is alright.” 

“ah,” i chuckle—a small sound tinged with sadness. “and that’s what you want me to do. you want me to feel it. and then let you make me forget it.”

“exactly.”

“i should fire my therapist. you’re so much better.”

he laughs and pulls me into a kiss. his beard tickles, but his hold on my waist grounds me. then he pulls the box back towards us and takes the collar out. it’s still darker in some spot, stained with the same blood, a mix of red and maroon now. i take it from him and hold it against my chest. 

“i miss her. she was my baby.” 

“i know you do. i see you,” his thumb swipes on my cheek, brushing some stray hair aside, “sometimes at night you go on pet adoption sites. i see you scrolling.”

“and you never said anything?”

“i figured you’d come to me when you were ready…”

tears tighten my throat and i barely stifle the sob threatening to come out. the collar looks so small in my hands, scrunched up tightly into a little ball. 

“i couldn’t get a new pet just yet. it won’t be fair.”

“but we could look at them, laugh at their silly names? we could stay in bed and watch silly cat compilations on youtube.”

through tears, i laugh. a few fall on my nose and he wipes them away as quick as they appear. 

“that sounds perfect,” i nod. 

and then for the rest of the day, that’s what we do.